#so I feel like that would. treat the underlying thing and just make it impossible to see

[dilfsisko]

Once again wondering if I have PCOS or it’s just my thyroid et al

#els.txt #I’ve been tested for it MULTIPLE times. bloodwork ultrasounds the works #and it would explain my period fuckery insulin resistance and hair growth and patterns #but. I’ve been on hormonal birth control since 12 #so I feel like that would. treat the underlying thing and just make it impossible to see #but on the other hand. hypothyroidism can. ALSO cause period fuckery insulin resistance and…weird hair growth and patterns #so

[jennifer-jeong]

Hi there :)

Can I request some headcanons about Xiao and Wanderer (separated) with an old s/o? Like, they've been together for decades, but reader is a mortal and they're not, therefore they don't have many years left to live now that they're in their 80s. I would like something sweet but feel free to add some angst in it.

HI ANON TY FOR YOUR ASK! Ok so I’m literally goiNG TO CRY because I actually purposely make my own self insert immortal because this makes me so depressed but dw I will make it a fluffy happy ending. I would be unwell if I didn’t make it a happy ending LMAO

[Fluff + Slight Angst] [Xiao/Wanderer x Reader] Mortals

CONTENT Fluff, some angst, gender neutral reader, HAPPY ENDING WOO, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

XIAO has been alive for longer than he can genuinely remember and most of it was spent suffering alone. He’s scarred so deeply that even until the end of time, the marks will never fade. He can’t get rid of his past but you came along and he realized he could at least start to heal from the centuries of pain. Your time together has been the best years of his life and it makes his heart ache to think that you’re about to come and go before even living for a fraction of his life. He’s watched your mortal body age but he still thinks knows that you’re the prettiest thing he’ll ever encounter. Xiao has always treated his time with you like it was limited, even when you were younger. He’s been getting desperate recently though, your body has slowed down, and you’re well into your elderly years. He’s always wanted to ask you if he and Zhongli could help you with this, return you to your younger body and help you live forever. But, he thought it would hurt you. Immortality is more of a curse than a blessing and he of all people should know that. But as your health deteriorated, he started to plan how to ask you without pressuring you. Honestly, when he finally brought it up, you giggled at him and said “I didn’t even know you could do that.” He blinked as he realized how much time had passed and how he really had been avoiding it all these years. It was just somewhat unfathomable to a 2000 year old being that all these fun years with you had already been a few decades. He explains why he felt bad suggesting it, but you quickly comforted him and thanked him for even bringing it up. You said you needed some time to think about it but you knew that you wanted more time with your beloved. It’s near impossible for most people to find their soulmate and so since you found yours, you wanted to somewhat selfishly hold onto him as long as you could. Of course he secretly felt the same though. Your time together might end soon as the traveller discovers the underlying mysteries of the world or it could end millenia later. Either way, you knew you’d be able to face it, together.

WANDERER has been through so much over the past few centuries of his life and he’s believed his emotions have been so useless to him as he isn’t even human. His suffering, pain, and desire never made sense because he always lacked a heart. He thought he’d be doomed to this forever until he met you. You breathed life into his mechanical body and into his new anemo vision heart. He felt truly alive with you, it was like he was freshly born as a real man when you came into his life. He took a while to properly warm up to you before he could express himself in a healthy way but you always had the patience for him. The problem was that he couldn’t have the same patience, not because he wasn’t a healthy partner, but because your life had a definite end. He was impatient because he couldn’t lose you and he didn’t know what else to do. He consulted Nahida/his mom about it and she suggested using his body as a template to create a body for you. One that would last forever with him. He was immediately overjoyed to hear that there was hope and he almost forgot to consider that you might not want to live forever. He probably tries to gauge if you would want to by prodding you with small questions but you see straight through him. You know something’s up, and you tell him that you know there’s enough trust between you two for either of you to speak freely. So he does. You take some time to debate it and decide to do it because even if at some point you can’t take it, you’d talk to him about it and come up with a solution (but you doubt that'll come up <3). There was a lot going on in Teyvat at the moment but just knowing that you’d have more time gave both of you peace. He was worried that afterwards you might not be the same, and that you might become emotionally hollow. But you knew that with him there, you’d never feel any less alive. Even without your physical body, you both had your souls, and it was all you’d ever need.

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST <3 ||

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #genshin angst #genshin impact fluff #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #xiao angst #wanderer x reader #wanderer fluff #wanderer angst #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche angst #j's silly ramblings #j's asks

[bestworstcase]

@cryptidblues tumblr ate this one too, maybe drop tumblr support a line to check if you’ve been erroneously shadowbanned 

Oscar is dying! He’s dying! We’re getting the full weight and crisis of the merge in volume 10 I NEED IT. The image of him collapsed on the sand as the sunrises with his back to the long memory OOUGH just like Ruby and crescent rose after she drank the tea, before the tree took her. The reversal on “I don’t want to be me anymore” / please let me stay myself. The lad is being eaten alive! From the inside out! By an unstoppable brain parasite that will kill him! And Replace Him! I Need the slow build up of horror from Oscar and everyone involved. “And Oscar…just isn’t himself” they’re place setting. Getting the table ready. Ooh yknow he’s hiding those merge episodes/attacks from his friends. I NEED the existential terror and dread! BUT I NEED THE CATHARSIS OF OSCAR BEING KNOWN, SEEN & SAVED TOO ;-;

NOT to make a post oscar about ozma instead but the thing that is really, really pulling the hinges off for me is the implication that this is happening because oz started actively fighting the merge. as long as oscar resisted and oz kept up the drumbeat of “this is inevitable, there is nothing either of us can do,” the curse kept on quietly eroding oscar as the boundary became thinner and thinner between them. it was, for lack of a better term, stable. 

the moment oz tries to resist, the curse starts trying to rip him forward. to force him to take over, inflicting what seems to be torturous amounts of pain on both of them. the subtle, silent, invisible violence that was inflicted on oscar before explodes outward to attack both of them. 

how many times have i said this curse is specifically designed to make it impossible for ozma to change? that the whole point is to prevent ozma from ever changing his mind or defying the god of light? never doubt me. the literal fucking instant ozma tries to break free, the curse becomes YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE. 

the curse had a failsafe the whole time.

/ozma tangent

oscar though. this poor kid. like the greatest burden on his shoulders in the last four volumes has always been that no one wants to openly acknowledge what’s happening to him and the nature of the merge’s violence being so completely internal means that no one has to look at it except him. and he’s been so isolated in that existential dread but he’s also grown so accustomed to being treated like just. the next ozpin. that when the violence abruptly becomes externalized in reaction to oz’s resistance, oscar… hides it. keeps it to himself. somewhere deep down the idea that it doesn’t matter to anyone what happens to him got lodged in his brain so deeply that he keeps it hidden!!

and i’m obsessed with the emotional complexity the layers of what he’s feeling with regard to ruby, because it’s not as simple as that he misses her and aspires to her optimism; there’s also some underlying resentment there (“you were always so sure that everything would work out…right up until the moment it didn’t” <- paraphrasing) because she was wrong and he wishes he could borrow her certainty but she was wrong. she fell. she was wrong. 

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, everyone else believes that they’re gone forever. that they’re dead. oscar doesn’t. he’s thinking about it in terms of where they might have gone, what might have happened to them, he’s doing research because deep down, there’s a teeny tiny spark of hope that hasn’t been extinguished yet. so there’s this subtext of i wish i had your certainty. even though you were wrong. i’m still trying to find you. we’re still fighting this. you always saw me for who i really was. i don’t know who i am anymore.—there’s this tension throughout the monologue between bitterness and hope, and i don’t know if oscar is even capable of seeing that he is still hopeful or that he does have, if not ruby’s kind of certainty, something of his own that rhymes. he’s feeling this bleak about everything and still trying to figure out where they are because he doesn’t believe they’re dead. 

it was oscar’s idea to put the memorial where the portal had been. it’s taller than a person and shaped like a door. it’s a memorial but it’s also a symbol; the portal is gone, but they were inside it still, we should build our own door so they can find their way home. and then they do, according to the context given. the blacksmith gave them a doorway that went right through their memorial.  ETA: never mind, misremembered

ruby confronting and facing his mortality after running away from it for three volumes to galvanize her to really try to save him vs oscar doing whatever he can think of to somehow save her while roiling in all these complicated painful feelings about how no one cares to know how he’s suffering because it isn’t like there’s any real hope for him. tasty!

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

The Tragedy of Rhaenyra Targaryen

Rhaenyra Targaryen's story is one of tragedy, she is put into a series of impossible situations and finally was killed for the crime of being a woman and wanting her birthright. This fact is something that TG stans are obsessed with trying to minimize or completely erase. Since they're usually exclusively show fans, I'm going to go through show Rhaenyra's life until we hit the end of season 1 (this is a long one so bear with me).

Rhaenyra spent her entire childhood being told she was less than for being a girl and her father killed her mother in pursuit of a son because of this belief. When Viserys finally recognizes her worth, she then has to deal with the misogynistic lords and their lack of respect towards her. Her ideas and opinions are dismissed in the SC, including Otto who fucking suggested making her heir, and they outright send her off like a child when she becomes too unruly for them.

Then after all this, Viserys marries her only friend, thus removing what's left of her support system after Daemon is banished. Alicent also went behind Rhaenyra's back to seduce Viserys. Sure, it was what her father told her, that doesn't mean it wasn't a shitty thing to do. Especially since she let Rhaenyra believe Viserys was going to marry Laena, thus causing her to be massively blindsided by the announcement. Of course Rhaenyra felt she couldn't trust Alicent, of course she felt betrayed, and Alicent never explained why she did it. This obviously drove a massive wedge in their friendship.

Things only get worse for Rhaenyra when Aegon is born. Now the lords who had no respect for her, including the fucking Hand, are clamoring for Rhaenyra to be disinherited. Sure, Viserys keeps her as heir, but does little to reinforce to HER that he isn't considering replacing her. He practically ignores her for the majority of episode 3 until he gets angry with her for not wanting to be his political pawn. Alicent isn't helping matters by never acknowledging the change in dynamic in their relationship, she's the queen consort now, a position she worked to get behind Rhaenyra's back. No things aren't the same, they never will be, Alicent acting like Rhaenyra should just treat her like normal is unrealistic and totally dismisses Rhaenyra's feelings.

Rhaenyra has a completely understandable fear of marriage and childbirth, considering what happened to her mother. Yet Viserys is insisting she marry, and sure, she can choose her own husband, but from her perspective that's basically being allowed to choose your own execution method. And there is also an underlying caveat: Viserys has to approve the match.

In the midst of all this, Daemon finally returns, the one person who completely understands Rhaenyra. He offers her the first scrap of true consideration and then expresses actual interest in her at the brothel. However, he leaves her in the brothel, so, drunk and alone, she stumbles into the arms of her only remaining friend. A man who willingly and eagerly slept with his drunk charge and thought that it entitled him to marrying her. After this, we see that caveat I mentioned come into play when Viserys rejects Daemon's proposal without consulting Rhaenyra, if he truly meant for it to be her choice, he would have let her have the final say.

So now her uncle is once again taken away, her former friend now hates her for not telling her a potentially damaging secret, and her former protector hates her for rejecting to run away with him. And to top it all off, she's now being forced to marry her openly gay cousin to fix the mistake Viserys made when he married Alicent. Then at her wedding, Alicent finishes of what's left of their friendship by declaring war on her and Criston kills Laenor's lover and allies with Alicent.

During the time jump, we know Alicent constantly undermined and abused Rhaenyra. She flouted her power at every turn, factionalized the nobles, taught her sons that Rhaenyra and her sons were beneath them, and shot down any of her opinions in the SC even to the detriment of the kingdom. We know from a deleted scene that Rhaenyra pursued a relationship with Aegon, yet she doesn't have any kind of connection to her siblings later on, meaning that someone must have put a stop to any bonding. After all, why would Aegon and his siblings be willing to usurp Rhaenyra if they had a good relationship? We also know from Laenor's "I thought we were past this" in ep six that Alicent constantly pressed the bastard issue even though Laenor, Corlys, and Viserys acknowledging them as legitimate made them so.

The issue of the Velaryon boys clearly shows how Rhaenyra was thrust into an impossible situation: she needed heirs and Laenor couldn't provide. By choosing Harwin, Rhaenyra was able to have three sons and have a loving relationship (as far as we know). But of course, this small happiness didn't last, as Harwin was sent away and murdered alongside his father by Larys. Before this, Alicent's abuse finally drives Rhaenyra to Dragonstone, by the way, Viserys never did anything to help Rhaenyra against Alicent.

Things finally seem to be looking up for Rhaenyra when she marries Daemon after Laena's funeral. She at last has a steadfast ally in the face of the greens and someone who genuinely loves her. She has two sons by him, her other children are growing up safe and happy alongside her stepdaughters who have integrated well into their new family.

Alas, after six years, she is dragged back into the greens' shit show when they decide to bring up the resolved matter of the Driftmark succession. This marks the beginning of the end for her happiness. Viserys dies and the greens usurp her crown, the news of which sends her into an early labor, killing her daughter. Now Rhaenyra is faced again with an impossible choice: go to war for her throne or bend the knee and risk being killed alongside her children (something the greens were already planning). We know which one she picks, and she's right in this: it's her throne, the greens are usurpers and traitors, end of story. But the greens then murder her son, Lucerys, when he was on a peaceful mission as a messenger.

Rhaenyra has now lost two children to the greens, and in the ensuing war, loses Viserys II (though he was alive unbeknownst to her), Jacaerys, and Joffery. Her stepdaughter, Baela, becomes a captive of the greens, Rhaena is being sheltered in the Vale, and her husband dies killing Aemond. The war takes away everything she loves except her son, Aegon III. She then has to flee KL after six months due to the rioting small folk and betrayal among her council (Corlys is a bitch). When she arrives on Dragonstone, she is seized by her brother's men and burned and eaten alive in front of her son by her usurper brother.

This is the story of a woman tormented throughout her life by the fact that she is a woman. She is undermined and abused as heir, usurped, and killed all for the crime of her gender, plain and simple. TG can try to deny it, but the story is clear, despite Condal and Hess' meddling. And if I see anyone saying that Rhaenyra is bad because she isn't a feminist, that doesn't matter (and that's not a true assessment), her reign sets a precedent for female inheritance in the Seven Kingdoms, that's still important in the long run. She is a tragic character, GRRM has made it clear the usurpation would have happened no matter what Rhaenyra did, she was doomed from the start.

#rhaenyra targaryen #team black #anti team green #alicent hightower #viserys targaryen #daemon targaryen #daemyra #anti alicent stans #anti alicent hightower #anti aemond targaryen #anti aegon ii targaryen #house of the dragon #anti otto hightower

[adrinoir]

Lesbian Headcanons Pt. 1: Chloe

I seriously enjoy writing all kinds of headcanons and analyzing this show. I want to talk about Chloe. She was such a queen from the start and Thomas just hardcore assassinated her character. So, I’m gonna put a good spotlight on her.

Also there are a ridiculous (utterly ridiculous!) amount of signs that backup this headcanon.

Her crush on Adrien seems theatrical & superficial

Chloe has always been very over the top acting as like she has this big crush on Adrien and that they’d be so good together. But, it seems very superficial.

What proves this superficiality is the way she talks about him in Sole Crusher. When she’s trying to teach Zoe how to behave, she talks about Adrien like he’s arm candy.

“Rule #148: you obviously need a guy BFF to wrap around your finger, preferably gorgeous and very rich. That one over there is mine!”

That is the direct quote from Chloe. Also take note as to how she doesn’t mention him being her crush nor claim that he’s her boyfriend. She only calls him her BFF.

Does she even value him as her friend? That’s tough to say. But, he’s given her ultimatums on multiple occasions and she hasn’t really followed through with trying to better herself. It’s sad.

She only goes after him when Marinette gets in the way

Have you noticed this? Chloe doesn’t really make much of an effort to pursue Adrien unless Marinette is stepping in to make a move on him. She makes it her mission to specifically target and sabotage Marinette. There’s less of an effort to get Adrien and more of an effort to sabotage Marinette.

There are very few times that she actually goes after Adrien on her own. But god forbid Marinette takes action, things start to blow up. She’s gone great lengths just to stop Marinette. For instance, in the Gabriel Agreste episode, she takes a video of Marinette and her friends planning to break into the party at the Agreste mansion. Then, she keeps running around the party trying to make sure the video gets exposed.

I feel like she’s secretly crushing on Marinette but either doesn’t realize it or is purposely hiding the fact that she does.

Try and tell me this sounds like a stretch, but I stand by what I say lol. Let’s do a comparison as some back up: Sharpay Evans in High School Musical is a rich, blond “mean girl” type just like Chloe. She’s friends with Troy and is very over the top about the crush she has on him. However, the difference is that she pursues him on her own plenty of times, not only when Gabrielle gets in the way. She did a fantastic job of impressing him in the second movie, going as far as to give him a scholarship and a connection with people who work for the college he wanted to attend. Chloe has never gone that far to try to impress Adrien on her own, despite having the ability to do something like Sharpay did.

She fits the “Enemies to Lovers” Trope

One could also argue that she’s bullied Marinette for years, which is obviously cruel. If she cared for her, why would she treat her that way? Well, this fits the “enemies to lovers” trope and that unhealthy narrative of “if (so and so) makes fun of you, it just means they have feelings for you.”

Bullies typically have a lot of underlying insecurities which is what makes them bully others - projection. And, while yes, we see Chloe has a bad relationship with her mother, she’s pretty damn confident in herself (like, seriously, this girl thinks she’s so popular knowing damn well most people in school don’t like her) and doesn’t really show many signs of having loads of underlying insecurities. So, with that being said, if it’s not self projection, then what is it? A crush on Marinette doesn’t seem too far fetched.

Will the enemies to lovers trope come to fruition? Will she ever get with Marinette? Obviously NOT. Marinette and Adrien are end game. Chloe won’t get with either of them. But this doesn’t mean it’s completely impossible for her to have a secret crush on Marinette.

Kagami intimidates her

Kagami is very upfront and serious which can be intimidating in itself. But she somehow scared Chloe right away, Chloe - a girl who’s supposedly a big bad bully. 

In their very first interaction, Kagami is the one to dish out the very threatening line, not Chloe. In the span of this one sentence, she’s able to make Chloe back off which is very unlike Chloe.

After that, notice how Chloe now targets Kagami. She went great lengths to humiliate her in front of Adrien in Animaestro. And even fast forwarding all the way up to Perfection, she gangs up with Lila specifically to sabotage Marinette and Kagami. So, with that repeated behavior on Kagami, there’s that possibility that she’s secretly crushing on her, too. 

Her & Sabrina play as Ladybug & Cat Noir

Of course any friends can dress up as Ladybug and Cat Noir without the possibility of them liking each other romantically (like Ladybug and Cat Noir do). But, Sabrina has shown signs of being fruity, too, which makes this a bit different.

Sabrina dedicates a lot of time to Chloe and has this undeniable super strong admiration for her. Unfortunately, Chloe abuses this and constantly asks her to perform favors for her. To do another character comparison, if you’ve ever watched Dan and Riya’s YouTube series Beverly Valley High, Rhubarb mirrors Sabrina in a lot of ways. Rhubarb is the dopey friend of the popular mean girl, Cinnamon. She’s often her sidekick in her plans to wreck the two main characters, and is also asked to do favors for her. Initially, the audience is led to think that Rhubarb is sticking by Cinnamon to be popular and benefit from her wealthy lifestyle. However, in recent episodes, it was revealed that Rhubarb has had feelings for her this whole time which is why she doesn’t leave her side. With that being said, I feel like this same thing could apply to Sabrina.

Her own half-sister is canonically queer

It can no longer be denied: Zoe isn’t straight. Not only were there pretty obvious signs in previous episodes, in Deflagration, she openly flirted with Scarabella.

It isn’t said how Zoe identifies, but what’s interesting is that her color scheme is all the colors in the pansexual pride flag. Obviously there’s many different sexualities that involve attraction to the same gender that Zoe could potentially be, but the colors are just a little sign I noticed.

Anyhow, considering she is canonically queer, that means Chloe could be too. It’s definitely not impossible. There obviously doesn’t have to be “one straight sibling and one gay sibling.”

She has really high standards

Chloe makes it very clear many, many times that she wants a guy who’s gorgeous and rich. She won’t consider or talk to any guy who she doesn’t think is attractive and isn’t rich. This can be seen as comphet behavior.

In case you don’t know what comphet is, here’s the definition: compulsory heterosexuality (comphet for short) - When somebody experiences "attraction" to the opposite gender because that expectation has been pushed on them by the patriarchal society, this is quite often experienced by lesbians.

Unnecessarily high - or completely unrealistic - standards can be considered as comphet behavior because it gives the closeted lesbian a reason to deny men and validate the fact that they don’t want to date a man. Chloe has only shown desire for Adrien and Prince ? (I forgot his name, oops) who are both rich, good looking guys. But, again, both of those “crushes” are very superficial.

Conclusion

Chloe seems like the stereotypical mean girl chasing after he popular boy in school. But, taking a second look, she doesn’t seem to really be all that attracted to Adrien nor any of the guys in the show like she tries to claim.

I think Chloe shows a lot of comphet behavior and there seems to be far too many reasons to back up the headcanon that she isn’t into guys. I like this headcanon that she’s a lez. It makes sense and seeing her in this way makes me like her more! She has so much potential to be a more well-rounded, in depth character.

This is going to be a multi part headcanon because Chloe is definitely not the only girl in Miraculous who seems fruity. I plan on writing about any who have shown a lot of signs.

#miraculous ladybug #tales of ladybug and cat noir #miraculous #miraculers #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #chloe bourgeois #zoe lee #chloenette #chlogami #kagami tsuguri #ml perfection #ml sole crusher #ml Animaestro #sabrina raincomprix #chlobrina #ml season 4 #ml season 5 #ml analysis

[ladysomething]

hey darlinggggg... the new chapter was as amazing as always, honestly the best part of my Wednesday consistently, so thank you very much.

I was wondering why it kinda comes across like Charles is way less concerned for his safety or at least aware of the danger of other alphas than Max is for him. Obviously him hiding his designation in the first place and the secrecy indicates that he was terrified of anyone finding out, but now that they know its so frustrating to me when Charles is taking so many risks and being more careless while Max is much more conscious of the potential things that could go wrong. Is it to do with the fact that Charles did have to live as a beta for so long and omegas are so rare that he hasn't had the chance to realise how dangerous it is? Or is it cause Max has more firsthand experience with Kelly being an omega and so learned from that? Or is Charles just so blinded by his hatred of Max that he's willing to put himself at risk, consequences be damned, as long as it pisses Max off? Sorry for rambling but I hope that made sense.

Also I'm kind of living for the little bit of Lando jealousy at the end of the chapter and Max being so confused about it lol. Makes me wonder if Charles would be able to stop himself being jealous if he found out about Max's past with other people...

And I loved reading the scenting from Max's pov and finding out more about how much he can feel Charles' emotions through the bond

so like. my biggest problem with this ask is that you were straight up spitting facts the whole time. like how the fuck am I even supposed to twist this around. it's impossible. I can't.

so here is the most honest answer ya'll are probably ever going to get from me about this:

it's all three.

Charles hid his designation a little bit because he was worried for his safety, but mostly because he (and Herve) knew it would stop him from ever reaching F1. he wouldn't have been given the same opportunities.

because of that, Charles has never experienced what it's actually like for omegas. he's lived his own experience, obviously, but for the first time in his life people know. and he has never, ever been exposed to as many alphas as he is right now, so he has absolutely no idea just how far some of them might be willing to go. all he's got to go off of is his dad, Max, and Pierre, and statistically, Max's behaviour is the outlier for him. he has absolutely no idea of the danger he's in.

Max, however, has seen how omegas get treated multiple times, and Charles' auction is now the latest example. He is much, much more aware of the danger.

But, then, Charles is also wilfully only seeing the worst in Max. he can't even comprehend the possibility that Max might know better, or have any altruistic bone in his body. Max is the personification of the worst of alphas to Charles - which is really not great, considering Max's behaviour (even without knowing his underlying motivations) is really about as good as it gets.

anyway. the lando drama is very fun, and jealous lestappen is TOP tier. expect more of it 😊

#anon ask #lestappen fic #where you go i go #wygig: charles #wygig: max

[rollercoasterwords]

coed schooling or activities are actually often detrimental to girls, forcing them into support roles for their male peers. you can idealize that everyone is hurt under gender and patriarchy, but they are not hurt equally.

i'm assuming this is in response to the tags on the question i answered about girl scouts/girl guides? because other than that post i have not talked about sex-segregated schooling at all on this blog as far as i'm aware lol. but sure, whatever, let's get into it

coed schooling or activities are actually often detrimental to girls, forcing them into support roles for their male peers

right off the bat, if this is something you wanted to have a real conversation about, i'd ask you to refine what you're referring to--"or activities" is an incredibly broad category. are we talking about coed sports teams? summer camps? playdates? choirs? i'd probably have different thoughts depending on how you refine this category, so i'm going to table that part of your ask right now and focus only on schooling in my response.

the idea that girls perform better in sex-segregated schools is something i've heard before. but the actual research, as far as i'm aware, is inconclusive. here's an aclu article giving a brief overview of the disagreement within the research. i don't personally have the time to undertake a literature review of the field just to answer a tumblr ask, but one thing i'd say it's important to be aware of--in studies making this claim, what is their sample size? how are they measuring "achievement"? and, importantly, what other factors could be influencing their results? it's impossible to have two schools that are completely identical in every way except sex segregation, so we need to look at possible mitigating variables. is the sex-segregated school being studied a private school in a wealthier area? are the class sizes smaller? are the teaching methods different? do the students have more stable home lives? considering that there will always be these other variables to take into consideration, i'm not particularly compelled by any study making a sweeping claim that girls will always do better in sex-segregated environments, especially considering the conflicting research that already exists on the subject.

that being said, i do think it's important to discuss how sexism pervades school environments and how socializing children to fit certain gender roles from a young age impacts the ways they interact with each other. but even to the extent that young girls feel pressured to take on a "support role," i don't think segregating schools based on sex is a particularly useful solution. it may treat some of the symptoms of sexism, sure, but it doesn't treat the underlying cause: the gender roles these children have been socialized to conform to in the first place. (also, like--if the solution here is "all schools should be sex-segregated," do you honestly think that would result in an equitable allocation of resources amongst those sex-segregated schools?) personally, i think it would be more useful in most cases to actively work with kids to break those gender roles, rather than dividing them into "boys" and "girls" in a way that reifies the idea that such roles are inescapable. additionally, there are plenty of other factors that could be affecting girl's educational achievement that wouldn't be addressed simply by removing boys from the equation; things like how much funding their schools get, the size of classes, the teaching methods, etc. i don't think sex-segregation is a particularly wholistic approach to addressing this issue. not to mention the ways in which it fails to account for trans and intersex children.

you can idealize that everyone is hurt under gender and patriarchy, but they are not hurt equally

i'm not sure how intentional your word choice is here, but i'm not "idealizing" anything. saying that everyone is harmed by gender essentialism and patriarchy is a statement of fact. i have never argued that that harm is "equal," so i'm really not sure where you're getting that impression from; i think i'm usually pretty intentional about focusing on the fact that material harm varies under patriarchy and that different people will have varying investment and gain varying power from the institution. in fact, it's because this harm varies so greatly that i tend to be wary of sweeping generalizations about what all girls/all women/etc will experience under patriarchy--i think when we make those kinds of generalizations, we tend to end up privileging one certain kind of experience, and that one certain kind usually tends to be white, wealthy, cis, etc.

at the end of the day, when it comes to addressing problems with sexism, i think that any solution which reifies gender essentialism will not lead to liberation. that is a pretty fundamental stance to everything i talk about on this blog, and if that's something you're in absolute disagreement with then you probably shouldn't be here.

#ask #ranting and raving

[jjnghe]

the 'you' i still love (and will continue to love) | yaeshou

"shou!" across the gymnasium, a voice of enthusiasm from the endless chattering of the crowds ringed in his ears. he turns, meeting gazes with a certain classmate fiddling with the long sleeves of her toga.

"yae," he responds, immediately lighting up as she quickly approaches. as she drew closer, he could spot a trace of anxiety flashing in her eyes-- and the way her hands trembled ever so slightly did not go unnoticed.

if it was anybody else, shouta would have simply ignored it. but hishikawa yaeko wasn't just 'anybody'.

and so his brows furrow, a questioning frown forming on his face at the sight. "what happened?" his words leak with concern.

alerted, yaeko's demeanour stuttered and immediately shifted to one of bashfulness, as if she was masking whatever emotion she had let out. "no- nothing happened!" she forces an airy laugh out of her in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. it came to be futile as how shouta quirks an eyebrow, silently urging her to come clean.

yaeko immediately felt herself shrink under his scrutiny; but beyond all odds, she had managed to muster a breath, as if carefully considering her next words. "i just... needed to tell you something."

oh, how the very same shouta who usually never seemed to give a care grew more and more curious by the second. he then tugs her by the forearm, making her follow him until they were in a secluded corner, separated from the hundreds of people crowding the venue.

"what is it that you wanted to tell me?" he asks, finally facing her. the girl in front of him hesitates, visibly faltering after realizing just how seriously he's treating this.

if only yaeko's eyes weren't glued to her feet, she could've caught how shouta's gaze impossibly softens with worry. he steps closer. "you can tell me anything, you know."

those very same words were the ones that have ignited a flame of bravery in yaeko. she takes a deep breath, head tilting upwards to meet him face to face.

it was truly now or never.

"i- i like you, hoshino shouta!"

it was a voice not too quiet, nor too loud for the people afar to hear.

"since we became classmates in our first year, i liked you; and i enjoyed every moment we spent together for these past three years. you're so smart and handsome and just-- just leagues ahead of me." countless words fell out of her mouth, like a neverending waterfall. "you don't know how much i admire you, shou."

people would say that it was odd for someone to develop an affection for someone so closed off and mysterious like shouta, but throughout these three years did he reveal sides of himself only yaeko could see.

it was these little things where she'd see the shouta who shares his lunch with her when she forgets to bring her own, the shouta who only ever says 'good morning' when it's to her, or the shouta who offers to share his notes with her despite them being in an academic rivalry with each other.

it's the way how he cared for her in these subtle ways that had yaeko fall for him even more. all of this pining had culminated into a confession by the end of their highschool days, the latter not bearing to harbour these feelings in secret anymore.

the words she uttered held a trace of hope; that maybe, just maybe shouta felt the same way.

(...)

huh.

an underlying tension quickly formed in the atmosphere, similar to how yaeko's uneasiness started to rise at that very same moment.

she shuts her eyes, still anticipating a response from the boy she's liked-- no, loved for three years.

(...)

silence.

yaeko's heart drops.

as much as she'd rather go blind forever, the ravenette slowly opens her eyes. she was met with the sight of shouta, looking much more distressed than he did the last time she spoke.

his gaze was turned downcast, and his lack of response told yaeko all she didn't want to know.

oh.

maybe confessing wasn't a good idea after all.

of course someone of shouta's level would turn down someone average like her.

"i'm sorry-- i'm sorry i," before the world could take a turn for the worse, yaeko follows her words up, taking several steps backward and away from him. her voice cracked at the final syllable; and she could almost feel the tears prick her eyes. "i shouldn't have said that. i'll just go."

'i'll just go to save you the embarrassment of rejecting me.'

was she stupid for feeling this way? was it the right decision to tell him? the fresh tear in her heart yearns for answers; but all it felt in the meantime was emptiness.

"wait."

just as shouta reached out for her, yaeko was already gone, lost within the sea of people once more.

#menu. drabbles #otp. yaeshou #oc. hishikawa yaeko #my head hurts but surprise! yaeshou content!

[angelinthefire]

Irt your post about baseline prejudices the writers take as a joke, what's your approach to dealing with it when writing fics? I find myself sometimes struggling with this especially if im writing fix-its because it's quite literally impossible to address Everything, but at the same time I don't want to just leave the show as is. I mean, i feel this way about huge plot things like Gadreel too, but i think its a tiny bit easier to decide if those are necessary to adress to the specific fic rather than things that happen in a single episode or are brushed off as a joke. Like there are some things I just pretty much erase because to me at least there is no meaningful way I think I could interrogate it in a friggin destiel fic without essentially reproducing the shows prejudices like Busty Asian Beauties for example, but there are other things where I'm like...I should probably address this, right? But I just don't know what the line is. I know there will never be one definitive answer to this but i was just curious if you had any principles you follow in your writing.

That's a good question. Imo it's about prioritizing how important the issue is to the characterization, and how important it is to you as a writer.

Like to use the casual objectification of women as an example.

I'd say you can absolutely ignore Busty Asian Beauties. But I say that because it's a dumb gag that doesn't actually add anything to the characterization. I'd also ignore gags about pie, or "Agent Beyonce" or any other running gags that are silly and over-the-top.

But you can't just ignore the casual objectification of women. I've read fic where Dean is suddenly a bit too enlightened, or where he seems to clearly be used as a mouthpiece for the writer who's trying to retcon his change in attitude in a single paragraph. And that doesn't work, imo. Like if you want to totally revamp Dean's attitude towards women, go ahead, write what you want, but the characterization is going to feel off.

You could just write around it, just never have the characters in a situation where it comes up. Or you could have it be an explicit deliberate point in the plot or character development. (I've read a couple of fics that do this with Dean's alcoholism, deciding to take seriously something that is treated very casually on the show, and building a fic around it).

I thought about this when I was writing Life Skills and what I ended up doing was actually less about Dean's characterization and more about the narrative approach itself. Like on the show, especially in earlier seasons, there's a habit of treating sexual partners very superficially, like the narrative doesn't see them as real people, and very much just as a prop for the characters to have sex with. So I did my best to make the three main sexual partners seem like real people, with different quirks and behaviours and styles. So I didn't interrogate anything, and Dean was the same (maybe leaning more towards horny-but-respectful than towards outright objectifying, but still). I just didn't do what the show would have done. And I think it worked okay, and I didn't feel bad about it.

I may or may not get to actually writing it, but I've been trying to plot out a meanstiel fic based on the premise "what if the narrative treated honey!Cas with respect?" And I guess I'm taking a similar approach as to Life Skills in that I'm not addressing the show's ablism head-on (because that's the underlying problem of honey!Cas. That mental illness is just treated like a tragi-comic narrative tool and not, like, an actual thing. And like someone can just bootstrap themselves out of it. (Also this is making me remember "Sam Interrupted" and holy hell that was an awful episode)) and I'm just trying to reframe it instead. Instead of the narrative treating it like, "there's something wrong with Cas and that's funny/sad/a plot point", I'd treat it like, the way Cas experiences the world and communicates has changed, and there's new difficulties, but that doesn't make him less human. Like the characters aren't going to behave terribly differently (at least initially, anyways)(and except for my aversion to over-the-top silliness), they all still start with their same behaviours and attitudes, but my baseline assumption is different from that of the show, and that in itself shapes the narrative. If you know what I mean.

The initial post was more about things like Gadreel (or April, or Becky, etc.) Like I've read a bunch of fics that frame Cas' experience with April as traumatic for him. And I feel like you can do that in a fic that takes place immediately after that experience, based on the premise of "what if spn took consent seriously?" and treating it very deliberately. I don't feel like it works to have a fic that takes place years later, and is generally about something else, but at some point Cas' experience with April comes up and it's treated as traumatic. It feels like in that case, Cas' character development would have been set on a somewhat different path from April onwards, that the reader doesn't get to see, and it's a somewhat different version of Cas than the one we know from the show. If that makes sense? It's a ret-con.

I guess to sum it up, I would take the characters as they're presented on the show, and not ret-con in any additional angst or changes in attitude or anything like that. But I'd recontextualize them to whatever degree I feel is necessary.

#supernatural #spn #my commentary #anonymous #ask #writing #untitled meanstiel fic #you asked me about my approach to writing and my thoughts on spn fics #a long post is the unavoidable result #long post

[dog99a9]

Dog vs human

It's been almost 10 days since I started fostering this dog. I'm entirely new to the whole owning a dog thing -- any dog, let alone a rescue dog. So, every single thing that happened, good or bad, felt like a teaching lesson. The last 10 days have really taught me a lot more than all these years dealing with people. No, seriously. Spending time with this little doggy dog made me more human than ever. Let me tell you why.

The first time I saw the fostering program ad for this dog was two months ago. I didn't put too much thought into it other than, huh, what a poor little dog. He did look happy in the pictures, though. But I can't adopt or foster him. I didn't even know how, didn't have the skills. I don't own the place that I currently live in, so any damages caused by the dog would've been incurred by me. And I live alone -- who's gonna help me to take care of the dog if I am not available?

Then days passed and I kept seeing the ad on my social feed. This same dog. Same happy face. No one decided to keep him yet. Days turned to weeks and the ad was still there. A little bit of a background, but this dog is a Shiba and it has a reputation for being an impossible breed to train and to behave nicely. Added to the fact that this is a rescue dog, which means they might have an underlying issue as to why they're abandoned and rescued in the first place.

It really did remind me of myself. The feeling of being unwanted. People would look at you and say "pass" based on their judgment or the lack thereof, though it's perfectly fair to do so. Those days when I just wished that someone would just give me a chance.

So I decided, fuck it, I'm going to be a foster for him. And it's not like it'll last forever. It's just a month -- I can feed him, give him love for a month. Even if they're going to misbehave, I can handle one month of misbehavior. At least I'm proving my point: If I can make someone, anyone, feel less unwanted, I'd consider that a win.

And there I was, signing up and got accepted.

---

The first day with him was really fun. He seemed relaxed, obedient... barely resembling a rescue dog. It's like someone else's dog who has been with them for a long time. Of course he had the occasional zoomies tendency but I figured it's normal for this kind of dog.

Over the days, he was slowly getting... aggressive. Frequent barks at the smallest noises from outside of my door, unwillingness to listen to any commands, furniture bites, aggressiveness towards any other dogs... One time he went on to bite a smaller dog like it's a rabbit. Luckily the smaller dog was okay.

I felt betrayed. This isn't the dog that was advertised. He'd look all happy in the ad but turned into this house-wrecking tiny goblin that is out of control. And the worst part is I didn't know how to handle it. At all. I'd be sitting on a couch frustrated after yelling "no!" a million times to the very thing I told him not to do. There was one time when I tried to put a harness on him for 2 hours... I tried treats, toys, calming him down, but instead he'd run around, bit the harness, bit my hand, simply escaped the harness.

I'd then lashing it out to the rescue shelter contact person. About how untrainable and uncontrollable this dog is. The person was unfortunately not the best one to deal with this situation as well, as she's suggesting all these generic instructions on how to deal with it, which I've already tried anyway. I was practically begging her to take the dog back because I really couldn't handle it. But the issue is still the same: no one wanted to take the dog. Apparently I was the only one.

---

As time went by, I started to realize that perhaps I wasn't even looking at this from the right perspective. Let's just pretend that this dog is a human. Lived in a big mansion with a bunch of like-minded people, running around freely. And then having to adapt to a small 8mx8m apartment with just one guy. I guess on the first day he'd feel great, everything is new and all that. But he's got to feel something was off anyway. Everyone around him looked different, the street is loud, so many things he suddenly can't do. He'd be anxious, feeling trapped, frightened. And the boredom... He needed time to adapt, both to me and the environment around him.

So that explains it all. His newly found fear of harness, his barking at the outside noises, his aggressiveness towards other dogs. I mean I remember the first time I arrived here, alone, not knowing anyone and not understanding anything people said. For sure I didn't immediately turn into a model citizen at the time -- it took me some time to adapt, too.

When I look at it from that perspective, I can empathize more with him. I understand his struggles now and that does not even include hist past struggles. It's definitely not easy for him and I should be easier on him, too.

At first I didn't even want him to be on the couch and my bed, but to be fair, one third of my room is my couch and bed, so ruling them out is going to be impossible. I expected him not to be too attached with me, because I hate having to bring him out every time, but how is he supposed to understand that? So I bought a dog fence to really emphasize on that boundary. To add to that, I'm the only he knows around here: I feed him, take him for a walk and play with him, so it makes sense for him to feel a little attached.

---

Not gonna lie, when I was at my lowest dealing with the problems this dog has caused, I really wished the rescue shelter would've taken him the next day. I'd feel much better without him, or so I thought. I could go back to my usual routine, which isn't 180 degrees better but at least it's my comfort zone.

But as I spend time with him, walking him out, training him, giving him the love he deserves, I think I will be a little sad when the time comes for the rescue shelter to take him back. It's like what everyone said: "We don't deserve dogs". The love that they give back is so pure, so unselfish. Sure they have their impulses, but everyone has that too. It's a matter of how we handle it. That's how some people have peaceful, obedient dogs and some have, well, you know.

Besides, there are worse dogs out there. There are dogs who barks all day long, growl and bites their owner, wrecks all their furnitures to the smallest bits -- this tiny dude isn't even close to that. But if I were expecting a perfect dog, then yes he's always going to be far from my standard. That's not what I should've been expecting, anyway. He's a rescue dog from a specific breed in which many references would say not suitable for a first-time owner, who's only been with me for a week and a change. I mean...

---

So, I've stepped my foot into the pond, I might as well swim in it. I told the shelter it's going to be a month (actually I boasted and telling them 1.5 month but they seem to forget after I complained and all), so I'll stick to it. Good or bad, I'm going to continue my adventure with this little fella. I'm sure I'll learn many more things to come.

[buggachat]

Ever since Rocketear, when I see people talking about the Ladynoir conflict, I don’t see enough people pointing out that Rena Furtive’s existence would be basically impossible for Ladybug to explain to Chat Noir without it coming across as “I just don’t trust you”

The thing is, the Gang of Secrets reveal would already hurt him enough— especially knowing how he reacted to the fact Rena Rouge and Carapace know each other’s identities. We know it hurts him to realize that identities weren’t as important as everyone was making them out to be, and that he was really the only person really beholden to the rule. It sucks. It feels like he was lied to. 

However, Ladybug can try to explain that! When Chat Noir discovers that someone knows her identity, she could, theoretically, explain clearly to Chat Noir that “I was having breakdowns every day, Chat. I wasn’t doing well. I was scared and I was losing all my civilian friends. I was crying and my best friend was there. I was crying and I broke down and it wasn’t planned. I blurted out my identity. She’s been helping me give excuses in my civilian life for why I’m so flaky with being Ladybug and the Guardian. It never came up and it was never relevant to what was going on, so I didn’t tell you because I was scared to, because I knew it’d hurt you. I’m really sorry.” And you know what? I think it’d still hurt him. Maybe a lot. But if Ladybug chooses her words carefully, I think Chat Noir can understand that Ladybug was scared and stressed, and he can understand that she needed someone specifically from her civilian life for that. And I think he would forgive her.

But.... guys. Guys. How on earth would she explain Rena Furtive to him in a way that sounds reasonable? That she not only gave a miraculous to someone else permanently, but that she didn’t tell him? That this person is secretly acting as their third partner for every battle and patrol, and that she actively hides it from him? That the reason for his poor performance in future battles might be because she is literally Hiding what the plan is from him so he doesn’t notice the illusions?

There’s no coming back from that. You can make the argument that who Ladybug tells her identity to isn’t necessarily Chat Noir’s business.... but you can’t make the argument that someone secretly watching them and joining them in battle and patrols isn’t his business, or that it’s not his business to know that there are illusions on the battlefield that he’s fighting in. That’s absolutely his business. And while Ladybug can say “It was a private matter, so that’s why I didn’t tell you that I told someone my identity”, she can’t say the same about Rena Furtive. Because that’s not a private matter. And it’s not something she just chose to omit— it’s something she chose to actively hide from him.

Now, we know the reason she’s doing this. She’s doing it because of Chat Blanc, because she’s literally traumatized by visions of herself and all the citizens of Paris turned to ash. She’s doing it because she’s afraid of a timeline that has long since passed, of an endgame that she never really learned the trigger to. All she knows about Chat Blanc was that Chat Noir found out more about her and then the world ended. We don’t know exactly her reasoning for keeping Rena Furtive from Chat Noir, but I think it’s because she knows it’ll hurt him, and she knows a hurt Chat Noir could become an akumatized Chat Noir. 

.... However. “I kept this secret from you because I was afraid it’d upset you and akumatize you” doesn’t sound like a great excuse. It really doesn’t. It sounds like an excuse, and there’s an underlying admission of distrust there with “I don’t think you’d be able to resist akumatization”. And that... sucks. The best she could do to explain herself in a way he’d forgive her is to explain the whole Chat Blanc scenario in detail to him, but that would hurt him even more! Chat Noir already gave up his miraculous when he accidentally killed an android— how is he gonna feel if he finds out that, if he has a bad day, he could kill everyone on earth?

When people treat the Ladynoir conflict like “if Chat Noir just told Ladybug that he was upset, she’d explain everything and then it’d be okay!” I think they’re missing a substantial part of the conflict. Because Chat Noir can’t tell Ladybug that Rena Furtive upsets him when he doesn’t know about it. And if he DID find out and confront Ladybug about it, there’s nothing she could say to make him feel trusted as a partner.

#ml spoilers #miraculous ladybug spoilers #ml s4 spoilers #rocketear spoilers #idk this is just a rant aslfj #this is NOT marinette s*lt we love and stan marinette in this household #she's a scared child w too much responsibility but like #oh man is she hurting chat noir

[hops-hunny]

Just a Flight Away

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Ilvermony!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Request N/A

Summary: Neville has a cutie who lives in America but no one seems to believe him.

Warnings: None! 

A/N: This isn’t a request but it’s based off of me rambling here and slightly off of the vibe telepatia by Kali Uchis gives off.

If there was one thing Neville was thankful was it was the absolute goddess he got to call his girlfriend. It was funny the way they first began talking to one another. (Y/n) had been trying to contact a friend at Hogwarts but after the long trip from Ilvermony to Hogwarts, her owl was quite exhausted and ended up bringing the letter to Neville instead. Neville saw the poor bird, giving it a bit of bird seed and water that he kept in the green house before he set off to find the rightful owner of the letter. Luckily he had 3rd period with the girl who thanked him before excitedly yanking the letter from his hands. When Neville went to go check on the owl, he saw that it had already left, leaving a heart shape in the bird seed.

After that day, Neville hadn’t really thought about the incident that much. Well, that was until he saw the same owl fly towards him with a letter in its mouth. He smiled fondly at it rubbing under its chin with his finger before going to give the letter back to the owl until he noticed it had his name on it.  He ripped it open, careful to not damage the envelope before reading the letter.

Dear Neviile,

Thank you so so so much for getting the letter to Gwen! Gwen is a good friend of mine who I had been missing dearly and if not for your kindness she would have never received my letter. 

As you may be able to tell from the seal on the letter, I attend Ilvermorny school of witchcraft and wizardry. I've heard of how grand and great the infamous Hogwarts is, is it true? How is England in general? I've never had the pleasure of traveling out of America.

Oh yes! The main point of this is as a thank you, I've attached a package of my favorite American sweets as a token of my gratitude. The package is enchanted which is why it's so small. To restore it to its original state, place it on a flat surface before tapping it with the tip of your wand.

Sincerely,

(Y/n) (L/n)

Neville felt his face grow warm at the girl's kindness. (Y/n). 'What a beautiful name..' he thought to himself before pulling out the galleon sized package from the envelope. He pushed aside a few plants on the table in front of it before placing the package down, tapping the top with his wand. He gasped, watching in amazement as he saw the package expand. Neville wasn't quite familiar with this enchantment, perhaps he'd ask her about it in his response. His cheeks turned a brighter red. Response?

Did she want to speak to him more? He didn't want to assume but by her letter and her asking questions, it made it clear that this wasn't the last exchange she wanted to have. Was this a prank? Were the Weasley twins up to this? There was only one way to tell. Neville reached a shaky hand forward, opening the package as he closed his eyes expecting something to pop out at him but when he opened his eyes there was nothing but a box of snacks he had never seen before. He let out a sigh of relief, ignoring the racing in his heart.

After that, Neville and the girl started to talk quite a bit. Months had turned into years and he couldn't have been happier. It felt nice to have someone he could talk to, someone far away from all the hustle and bustle of the castle. To her he wasn't the kid with unfortunate luck or the "cowardly" boy in Gryffindor. He was just Neville, her boyfriend. Neville, her kind boyfriend in another continent, far away. 

(Y/n) loved Neville just as much. It wasn't that she never had suitors approach her. In fact, she had quite a few. (Y/n) was what you could consider popular, not that she cared. She was kind, smart, and beautiful. Who wouldn't want that? However, she always felt like none of the men who'd approach her got her. They all just saw her as a beautiful woman instead of what she was, a normal girl deserving of love. That's why she liked Neville so much. No matter what he always treated her with the utmost respect and that hadn't stopped when they started to date either. 

When the two had first exchanged photos, Neville was stunned. He had been talking to that beautiful of a girl? He couldn’t believe it. It was as if Olivander himself had sculpted and carved her out of the best of wood. She had glowing (s/c) skin, soft healthy looking (h/c) (h/c) hair, and a smile that could compete with the sun on its brightest of days and win. And when he found out she was single? He would’ve been a fool not to make a move. Angels as sweet as (Y/n) didn’t come around that often. 

And although their relationship was as great as can be there was the underlying sadness: they lived across the world from one another. Every time either of them would see a couple hug or kiss in school, they’d feel a twinge of jealousy pierce their hearts. It wasn’t fair that the most perfect person in the world was off enjoying themselves in their respective countries. Although (Y/n) tried to ignore it, Neville was the type to bring it up. He’d describe in the most beautiful of words what he’d do if they were together. How he’d hold her in his arms and show her off to all of his friends. Where he’d take her on a date, the plants he wanted to show her as they were both herbology geeks. Meanwhile she’d end each of the letters discussing this topic with the same phrase as usual. ‘You know I’m just a flight away. If you wanna I could take a private plane.’ He could never ask that of her though. As much as he’d love everyday to be filled with his flower, he wouldn’t wanna rip her away from the things she had going on in her own life.

It wasn’t all bad though! After the girl had taught him the charm she used when she first sent him something, they both would send each other gifts back and forth as much as possible. Neville sent her sweaters with his scent embedded, charmed flowers, chocolate frogs, anything she wanted was hers. She’d send her own things to remind him of her as well. Her favorite stuffed animal, loads of photographs, little crochet hats she made for Trevor, more...unsavory things as well definitely not her underwear. Despite the increase in objects Neville owned, none of his friends had questioned it until he started to wear a necklace with a heart shaped piece of onyx on it with the letter (Y/f/i) carved into it.

“Oi! Neville. Where’d you get that necklace from?” Ron questioned his friend who sat across from him in the Gryffindor common room. The boys had all decided to study together which of course turned into Neville studying as they goofed off. Neville tensed as his cheeks heated up turning a pink color.

“O-oh um..it’s from my girlfriend.” He said, saying the last word as soft as possible. He prayed to Merlin that his friends hadn’t heard him but unfortunately for him they had. It wasn’t that he didn’t want anyone to know about her. It was far from that. He was just a bit protective, he didn’t want anyone to try and steal her from him. Even though it was impossible since they had no contact with her, he never knew when it came to his friends. They always found a way to make the impossible possible.

“What year is she in?!”

“Who is it?!”

“No way, is she fit?!”

He finished at the chorus of voices, trying to calm them down so he could speak. They all scooted closer to him, looking up at him expectantly. “Well you see..” he trailed off, looking away as he played with the pendant around his neck. “She doesn’t go here. She attends school in Ilvermorny. But to answer your question, yeah she is bloody fit.” he responded, turning his attention back to the scroll of paper in front of him. Dean, Ron, and Seamus exchanged a look with each other trying to suppress their laughs.

“Yeah I’m sure she does Nev.” Dean said sarcastically as he joined the other two in laughter. Neville looked up at his friends confused at their behavior.

“Yeah Nev, if your nan sent it you could’ve just told us! Better than saying you’ve got a girl halfway across the world.” Ron said, pushing the boy slightly as he continued to laugh at him. Seamus was doubled over, snorting with laughter as fire whiskey shot from his nose causing the other two to howl with laughter.

“It’s not from my nan! My girlfriend really did send it to me.” he exclaimed, smacking Ron on the back of the head, before doing the same to the other two men. “Besides, you have some fucking nerve accusing me of lying when none of you have birds yourself.” he sneered, causing the boys to quiet down some.

“So harsh Neville, you didn’t have to go there mate! Well what’s this ‘girlfriend’ of yours called.” Seamus asked, doing air quotes as he mentioned the topic at hand. “You’d think it was a bit strange too if your friend suddenly mentioned a girlfriend who lived all the way in the states too wouldn’t you.”

“(Y/n). And I’ll have you know this isn’t a new thing. We’ve been dating since around 2nd year. Sure, I’d find it a bit strange if you mentioned a girlfriend in America that you had never brought up prior, but I wouldn’t find it impossible! Now if you excuse me, I have to go.” he quickly stood up, packing up his materials as he stormed off to the direction of his dorm. He sped up, ignoring the protest and begging of his friends to come back and continue to hang out with them. He had enough of them and he wasn’t gonna sit there and let himself be called a fucking liar by Hogwart’s biggest ones.

--------------------------------------------

“Did you guys hear? Students from Ilvermony are supposed to be coming to visit!” Ron said, running up to the other four boys. “I’m just picturing how hot all the girls from the states are gonna be. All hot and leggy with those bloody accents. I could combust just thinking of it!” he exclaimed, flopping down on the couch. Neville gasped softly, looking up. Did he hear him correctly? 

“Where’d you hear that from? I didn’t hear anything of the sorts.” Hermione questioned, looking up from her book at the interesting news she had just heard. However, Neville was still frozen. Was this true? And if so, why hadn’t (Y/n) mentioned it. No, no it couldn’t be. She surely would have told him.

“I just overheard it from Dumbledore himself. They should be arriving in a few minutes! They’re staying here for a few months. It’s a part of this new thing that they’ve set up. Something about wanting the students to learn different methods and what not. They decided it’d be a good idea since summer is coming soon.” he said nonchalantly, looking over at Neville who hadn’t moved since the news left his mouth. He went to question what was up with him before his eyes lit up, recalling the conversation they had a few months ago. “Hey Neville? Didn’t your supposed ‘girlfriend’ go to Ilvermony.” the boys all suddenly interested began to ‘ooo’ exchanging looks with each other.

“See Neville, this is why you don’t lie. Lies will always come back to bite you in the rear. Perhaps Ronald i-”

“I wasn’t lying, Hermione! She really does go to Ilvermony.” he exclaimed, standing up as he wiped his hands on his pants. All of a sudden, there were the sounds of a bunch of American accents speaking which caught all of their attention. Many different students in Ilvermorny uniforms (some without them) roamed freely to explore the large and intense castle.

“God you weren’t kidding Ron, the girls are bloody fit.” Dean muttered, eyeing some girl who gave him a wink before giggling and running off with her friends. “Woah look at that one, are you kidding me? She’s a fucking goddess!” Neville’s curious hazel eyes followed his friend's words as he saw a familiar shade of (h/c) hair styled in the way his girlfriend wore it. Wait, was that his sweater? 

“That’s not just some fucking girl, that’s my girlfriend!” Neville exclaimed, standing up from his seat.

“No chance.”

“You couldn’t pick a more believable one?”

“Prove it then.”

Neville went to say something before the girl turned around, locking eyes with him. She gasped, tearing up some as she pushed through the crowd of people running to him as quickly as possible. “Nev! Neville babe, is that you?” she exclaimed. Neville’s face flushed brightly taking in the girl’s appearance. She had worn the first sweater he had given her, a mossy green sweater with an obscure pattern, with a pleated skirt pairing it with a pair of boots. Neville nodded his head quickly, holding his arms out as the girl ran into him almost knocking him over. He picked her up, spinning her around quickly before setting her down, holding her soft face between his hands.

“W-what are you doing here?! You never told me you were coming to visit!” he exclaimed, wiping at the stray tears that had left her eyes. He moved his hands from her face securing them around her waist as he stared down at her. God she was even more beautiful in person.

“I wanted to surprise you! I actually found out a few weeks ago and let me tell ya, it was SO hard not to tell you!” She giggled, reaching up to stroke his cheek. He leaned into her touch, smiling at her. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to get even more handsome but bloody hell. You’re so fucking hot, Nev.” she said, feeling her face heat up. Neville flushed a bright red before leaning down, kissing the girl on the lips. She pulled him down more, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed back. The kiss was full of the love and affection they had both been craving from one another. (Y/n) tangled her hands in the back of his hair as he deepened the kiss, moaning softly. They both jumped away from one another at the sound of someone clearing their throat. “Ah sorry! Nev, are you going to introduce me to your friends?” she asked looking up at him as she intertwined his large hand with her smaller one.

“I suppose I will, even though for some reason they thought you weren’t real.” he quipped, glaring at the four boys who looked away ashamed. “From left to right there is Harry, Ron, Dean, and Seamus. And over there,” he said pointing to the big arm chair in the corner. “That is Hermione.” he said as they all muttered ‘hi’ and ‘sorry’ from some of them. (Y/n) giggled some, waving at them all.

“It’s very nice to meet you all! Nev talks about you guys all the time in his letters. Oh!” She said, eyes looking at his chest. She reached a hand forward, grabbing the engraved onyx in her hands. “The necklace I gave you!! You like it? I think it looks really good on you.” she exclaimed with a smile, happy her boyfriend enjoyed the gift she gave him. Neville once again looked at his friends chuckling some at their wide eyes.

“Of course I do, petal. I wear it everyday, everywhere I go. Right guys.” he teased, watching as they all stuttered out ‘yes ‘yep’ ‘sure does. “Come on flower, I’ll show you around the castle. I know you’ve been looking forward to that for a while. Also, you look quite cute in my sweater.”

“Thank you. I wear it quite often, even though the smell of you has worn off it still brings me good memories.” she said, playing with the slightly worn out sleeves of the sweater. “I’d love to!! Can we check out the greenhouse first? I wanna see that plant you were talking about. Maybe we can work on identifying what species it is!” he nodded in response, taking her hand once again as they began to walk off. Before they turned the corner, he quickly turned his head around using his unoccupied hand to flip off his friends before turning his attention back to his lover.

“Who would’ve thought? Longbottom with an absolute fox.” Ron said, slumping back down as he frowned. Hermione took the book she was reading smacking him upside the head.

“Maybe if you knew how to treat women you’d be with one too.”

#Neville Longbottom #neville longbottom x reader #neville x you #neville longbottom x you #neville x reader #harry potter imagines #Harry Potter #harry potter imagine

[rpbetter]

PTSD or C-PTSD?

Hopefully, you’re not one of the muns out there who has slapped a “PTSD” label on your muse(s) for drama only. You are, instead, treating this topic with respect and the realism that comes with that, not only having it accurately impact your muse when it’s convenient and “fun” for you. Well, that respect and realism includes actually knowing and applying the correct diagnosis and symptoms as well.

In your defense, if you have misdiagnosed your muse, common terminology in media and even among trauma sufferers is often just the blanket-statement of PTSD. Also, as the abbreviations imply, they do have things in common. 

To help, I’m going to break down their differences and similarities, then provide some research links including personal accounts to help you get started.

PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder most often comes from a single traumatic event.

What can be a traumatic event can differ widely, and reasonably so; we’re not all the same person, processing events and emotions the same way, or with the same formative life experiences. What might cause PTSD to develop in one person might be processed by another as a frightening or painful incident, but not one that has left them with PTSD. The symptoms, individual, and incident have to all be taken into account.

That being said, some examples would include:

having a severe accident

being mugged or in a store that is robbed

physical or sexual assault

being involved in a shooting, in any way

death of a loved one

an unexpected explosion or sudden, natural event like a mudslide or tornado

a severe natural or man-made disaster (building collapse, mass flooding)

events outside of oneself like witnessing a violent assault, murder, deadly car accidents, terminal illness or injury

Again, it is important to remember that individuals react in individual ways, and as such, their symptoms can express with some variation. Don’t just mimic the same presentations you’ve seen in media, research a variety of real experiences.

However they manifest, key symptoms of PTSD include:

Re experiencing the event by way of nightmares, flashbacks, and repetitive, intrusive, and intensely upsetting images, thoughts, and sensations. This is the most common symptom of PTSD, in which the person involuntarily and vividly relives the trauma.

Avoidance and emotional numbing, going to extremes to avoid not just potential triggers, but also finding any way possible to push memories of the event out of their minds. When the latter occurs and is extreme, the person is trying to feel nothing at all, seeking a path to emotional numbness. That can include substance use and abuse, self-harming, and other harmful behaviors.

Feeling on edge (”Hyperarousal”) is the ultimate inability to relax, constantly looking for threats, perceiving threats that are not to be found, and being easily startled. Some of the common issues with being locked into this state include difficulty sleeping or even insomnia, severe irritability and irrational seeming aggression, angry or aggressive outbursts, and finding concentration difficult to impossible.

Some other things that might develop with PTSD are:

Other mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, and/or phobias

as said above, harmful behaviors like self-harming and substance abuse

physical symptoms like headaches, stomach and digestive upsets, dizziness, and generalized pain

Like all disorders, PTSD is complex. I, again, implore you to research not only information put out by psychiatric professionals but also the experiences of real people.

C-PTSD

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when a person experiences repeated, consistent trauma, especially at an early age.

That doesn’t mean that adults cannot and do not develop C-PTSD, they do, and for a variety of reasons; adult sufferers have the same points of origin in the diagnosis as children do. Additionally, it may take years for someone to seek help, feel their symptoms are severe enough to need to, or be able to extricate themselves from the situation in order to receive help of any kind. They may be an adult by the time this happens.

The important thing to remember about C-PTSD is that it isn’t a single traumatic incident, and you are more likely to have this form of PTSD if the trauma occurred early in life, it was inflicted by someone close to you, and/or was inflicted by someone you still see on a regular basis.

Some good examples to give you the idea include:

ongoing domestic violence

child abuse and/or neglect

being raised by a parent with a severe disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder

repeatedly witnessing violence or abuse

torture

kidnapping

being a part of a cult

being a victim of human trafficking or slavery

It isn’t “complex” because it is always across the board “more severe.” This isn’t simply “even worse PTSD,” and shouldn’t be treated like that. Its source is more complex, the development and embedded varieties of its impact are, and the ongoing treatment is.

Particularly when C-PTSD occurs in childhood, there are lasting effects on a person’s development. They have developed in an environment that constantly has them highly stressed both physically and psychologically, and in which they learn many ways of coping, lessening or negating harm, and so on, that leave them less than optimally functional and integrated in life outside the situation.

While the person has the symptoms of PTSD, they will additionally exhibit:

difficulty developing and/or maintaining relationships of any sort

intense, consistent feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt

problems managing and even understanding their own emotions

suicidal thoughts

dissociation

increased risk-taking behaviors

Those who have had their actual development rerouted to deal with the situations that generate C-PTSD have a higher incidence of physical symptoms, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, and are at higher risk of repeat victimization.

They might go for some time without realizing that their daily experiences are neither the norm nor something sustainable, or how atypical their traumatic experiences were compared to those around them. It can sometimes take a serious life-event (suicide attempt, drug rehab, losing too many jobs, homelessness, or finding themselves in a genuine, loving relationship) for them to fully recognize something is wrong, and even then, their feelings of worthlessness, ingrained lack of self-confidence, and belief that they don’t deserve any better can prevent them from seeking help outside of themselves.

They may also believe that something is just “wrong” with them, that they are innately messed up, or that they have a different mental illness. And the unwillingness to open up to people, relieve events, etc. can additionally leave them unwilling to seek or continue care when they believe they have a different, underlying problem. Again, choosing to deal with this themselves through self-isolating, self-medicating, and seeking only relationships and jobs that will work within the framework of the disorder as it effects them.

Additionally, many sufferers of both C-PTSD and PTSD experience the same sense of societal shaming surrounding mental illness. They may struggle with denial, and refuse to seek assistance due to the stigma and all it entails.

Shared aspects of PTSD and C-PTSD

They’re both, obviously, severe, life-altering trauma experiences and resultant disorders. They both easily make the sufferer feel like the trauma and disorder is impossible or undesirable for others to deal with, that they are not worthy of being in close relationships, among many other similarities in experience living with either disorder regardless of widely varying traumas.

They share psychological and physical impacts, and there is a lot of overlap.

The core symptoms of PTSD are shared with C-PTSD:

relieving the trauma(s)

avoiding and emotional numbing

hyperarousal

The shared physical symptoms can include:

headaches

nausea, stomach ache, and digestive upsets

difficulty sleeping and insomnia

sweating, clamminess

chest pain and difficulty breathing

manifestations of low-grade to severe pain

dizziness

Shared behaviors can include:

difficulty concentrating to outright dissociating

self-harm

substance abuse

being hyper-vigilant, easily startled

may seem to be over-reactive to/in situations that others are perceiving as normal or not that big of a deal due to lower perception of personal emotions and lower emotional regulation

including explosive anger or defensiveness

development of anxiety and depression disorders, the symptoms thereof

Again, both PTSD and C-PTSD are serious disorders caused by trauma, and they both need to be treated with respect and accuracy when written into a character - be that an OC or a canon character. It is unfortunate, but these symptoms and the realities of life with either disorder are often portrayed badly in wider media, and the RPC often imitates what it sees.

PTSD and C-PTSD, like the incidents of trauma that created them (rape, child abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, etc.), are not a plot-point, other point of interest, or a character trait, let alone a “character flaw.” They’re not something you only bring up for attention, to get your muse out of a bad spot, or to add dramatics when you’re bored in a thread. Neither are they something you need to attach to your muse simply to give them A Label. These are, I cannot stress this enough, serious topics, and they deserve to be treated that way.

You can do that by defining which variety of PTSD your muse may actually have, then adding research of both the disorder and how it impacts a variety of real people. Making your muse more realistic and being dedicated to sticking with it.

Below are some links to get you started on research! Please note, the real stories, as well as some information, may be graphic or triggering. Read responsibly.

C-PTSD

Out of the Storm - Personal Stories of C-PTSD 

-Contains real stories from those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Their experiences have a huge range; bullying, childhood neglect and abuse, and sexual abuse and assault.

 I Have Post-Traumatic Stress and Didn’t Know It - and You Might, Too

-Personal story of living, unknowingly, with C-PTSD. An especially great read for writers who have muses who hold a lot of responsibility in their daily lives, who may not realize their experiences are C-PTSD related, etc. Contains discussion of parental emotional abuse, mental illness and childhood trauma, and rape.

What is C-PTSD?

-Excellent resource for detailed breakdowns of C-PTSD giving without a clinical, impersonal tone. The definitions of the disorder itself, symptoms and how it manifests and impacts daily life, and much more. A highly recommended source, and one with further resources on-site.

 11 “Habits” of People Living with C-PTSD

-Short breakdown of C-PTSD, followed by snippets of specific experiences in the words of those living with the disorder, a relatively short article.

PTSD

Rebecca’s Story: Living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

-Personal story of a woman living with PTSD from, in short, being stalked by a co-worker. It’s an excellent article, particularly for how mental illnesses sufferers are treated and portrayed, and how that adds another layer of difficulty to their lives. Obviously, this may be triggering to those who have been stalked, and includes mentions of graphic threats.

My experience of PTSD

-A personal story of medical trauma resulting in PTSD. Many of the PTSD stories you’ll find are from women and involve sexual trauma or harassment, in trying to find a variety of stories, I’ve found this one. By this point, you should be noticing many similarities in these stories, regardless of specific trauma.

Leaving the Battlefield: Soldier Shares Story of PTSD

-So many muses experience PTSD through battle-related incidents, and those depictions are not always accurate in media. This is a personal story about one soldier’s experiences. His perception of PTSD, denial, and shame at having the disorder is something that echoes throughout the previous accounts. So do the similarities of daily struggles to maintain to regular life. Before anyone wants to get Tumblr Nasty about it: there isn’t any “war propaganda” present in this story, the location of it is irrelevant to what you’re supposed to be learning here. It’s literally this man’s experience, don’t.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

-Breakdown of symptoms and causes from Mayo Clinic, so obviously, this is more clinical-minded. Particularly useful for its lists of things like “symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood” and increased risk-factor for other disorders.

I hope this helps you to assess and write more accurately your muses with C-PTSD or PTSD, and to consider these things more fully when having your muse experience a traumatic event in your plots.

-------

Please, remember when you are reading these accounts, and anywhere you might encounter PTSD sufferers; these are REAL PEOPLE. Treat them and their stories with respect. You’ll note that, unlike other posts on this blog, I didn’t advise you to approach the source. Many trauma sufferers won’t be comfortable sharing their experiences for the sake of your creative hobby. You may, at your respectful discretion, discuss this with close friends you know to be impacted by PTSD, just keep in mind that respect, discretion, and only bringing the topic up when they are comfortable with it, with specific questions, is necessary here. These are not fictional characters! Do not write someone’s real experiences into your character, thread, etc. verbatim, that’s...fucked up. Thanks in advance for being responsible, respectful adults, from a real life PTSD sufferer. -Vespertine

#rp help #rp advice #muse development #character development #writing advice #muses with ptsd #muses with cptsd #cptsd and ptsd post #muse inspiration #diverse muses #neurodiverse characters #rp better

[ymiwritesstuff]

Tenderly Perfect

Well, here it is, a Zhongli fic as I promised. I swear this man is doing things to me I can’t lmao. Also I’m not THAT deep in the lore so apologies if some things are incorrect. Anyway hope you enjoy, just some simple fluff with not much plot hehe.

Genshin Impact

Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Summary: Zhongli insists on taking you outside the city for a moment of good food, company and hair brushing.

Notes: SPOILERS FOR THE ARCHON QUESTS!, Fluff

Climbing to the highest point of Mt. Tianheng was the last thing you were expecting that day, though you should have expected as much. You have known him so long, of course he would be the one to suggest something like this. After hearing that you had never been on top of the impressive mountains just outside of the city, he was almost shocked and insisted on spending a day there, enjoying an all too lavish meal from Wanmin restaurant.

Zhongli held your hand throughout the trip, despite it not being entirely necessary, though he did save your face from hitting the ground a few times as the terrain proved to be rather unforgiving with its uneven areas and tiny pits. Being the perfect gentleman he was, he was more than happy to carry everything you brought with you on your little trip in his other hand while never letting go of yours. The action warmed your heart.

“We’ll reach our destination shortly.” He turned to you, a warm smile on his face. “The view up here is among the finest in all of Liyue.”

The way his deep voice spoke softly tingled your insides pleasantly, his hand gently holding yours as you ascended a set of stone stairs. You couldn’t help but mirror his smile, appreciating his efforts of showing you his favorite places in hopes that you would enjoy them as well. With him though, everything was enjoyable. Perhaps it was his divine presence that seemed to make every location that much better.

“I can’t wait.”

Despite learning of his true identity only recently, you had always had this underlying feeling that there was something peculiar about him. The way he spoke of Liyue’s traditions and history as if he had been present in those influential moments, was something you thought about a lot, yet it still surprised you when the truth was revealed.

Zhongli was somewhat uncertain of your reaction initially but was washed with relief when you expressed no hysterical shock or possible hostility. Since then, he has been enjoying his retirement with you with much jubilance.

You knew the journey had come to an end when Zhongli let go of your hand, allowing you to take in the breathtaking view on top of the mountain. Your (E/C) sparkled in awe as they looked around. The entirety of Liyue was visible, the whole city looking so incredibly tiny from so high up. The gentle breeze that hugged your form and swayed your hair was warm and welcoming, and you finally realized why the Lord of Geo wanted you to witness this with your own eyes.

“Zhongli this... This is…” You couldn’t find the right words because nothing would do the stunning view that bathed under the afternoon sun any justice. So you opted to just turn to him, immediately noticing his gentle smile that always made your heart swoon.

“I am glad you like the sight.”

You walked up to him and placed a kiss on his lips, being mindful of the bag he was carrying. After pulling away you glued your eyes on his resplendent golden ones, staring at him in admiration.

“It’s perfect.”

His other hand rested on your waist as you pressed your foreheads together, enjoying the feeling of having each other so close. At times like these, you couldn’t help but wonder what had you done to be blessed with someone like him. One would think that after becoming aware of his true identity as Rex Lapis, you would treat him as such. However, the person before you was Zhongli, just Zhongli, the man whom you had met while wandering aimlessly around Liyue, surrounded by unfamiliarity.

“Shall we begin?” you heard him ask, lightly lifting the bag that held the food you hadn’t even realized you had been craving. The quality of Wanmin restaurant didn’t disappoint, though you wondered if Zhongli had remembered to bring Mora with him when making his order. Though, knowing him, he most likely found another way to pay for the meals as he always did.

“Certainly.”

You helped him place a large blanket on the grass, allowing for a more comfortable experience, before placing the food that was still somehow warm on top of it, your eyes admiring the meals prepared by the famous restaurant. As you examined the sight before you, you noticed something and decided to open your mouth.

“No seafood?”

Your words were meant as a mere joke, as you were more than aware that the Geo Archon absolutely despised having anything from the sea on his plate. Still, to your surprise, he merely looked at you, slightly tilting his head to the side.

“Would you have preferred that? If you’d like it is in no way an issue for me to go back and-”

You cut him off with a giggle, finding his desire to make you happy above all else adorable.

“No, no. There’s no need. This is perfect.” You threw him a smile which he happily returned.

Once all the food had been laid out, you immediately went to dig in, enjoying the delicate flavors of the jade parcels and the juiciness of the meat rolls. With each bite you hummed in satisfaction, all the while enjoying the surrounding nature and the wonderful company.

In the midst of the dining and chatting with the gentleman responsible for this lovely picnic, the surrounding wind seemed to get stronger, as if the playful Anemo Archon himself was messing with it. You only noticed the change in the weather when the wind decided to latch itself onto your hair, causing it to fly everywhere before settling right on your face.

You heard Zhongli let out a chuckle of amusement as you moved your hair away from your eyes, looking at him with slight embarrassment in your gaze. With a soft sigh, you reached for your own bag and took out a hairbrush that you had fortunately taken with you.

“Didn’t think I’d need to use this here,” you laughed softly tracing the designs carved into the handle. It was an old brush but did its job wonderfully.

Just as you were about to start brushing your hair that had become full of knots in a matter of seconds, you felt Zhongli place his hand on top of the one that held the brush. You looked up at him questioningly. 

“May I?”

His voice was gentle as if he was asking with the utmost carefulness. You didn’t understand why though, you were more than happy to accept his offer.

“Of course.”

You gave him the hairbrush and turned your back to him, leaving your messy hair to be dealt with by the Geo Archon. Before he would start running the bristles through your locks, however, he had to inspect the brush closer. His golden eyes looked at the carvings, his mind traveling through Liyue’s long history.

“I recall a time when these handmade hairbrushes first arrived in Liyue. Traveling merchants would sell these at the harbor for a large sum of Mora,” he stated and you listened, always ready to hear his many stories and memories from a time unknown to you. “Only a few made their way to civilians’ hands, and fewer remain today.”

“Guess I’m pretty lucky then, huh?” A smile stretched his lips at your words.

“Indeed you are, my love.”

Zhongli ran his covered fingers over the carvings on the back of the brush reminiscing for a moment as he often did, especially now that he had abandoned his position as Morax. He removed his gloves and placed them beside him on the blanket before finally moving his attention to your (H/C) hair.

“Despite its age, this brush has stood the test of time rather beautifully.”

You felt the brush run through your locks, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling.

“You mean just like you?” You joked, which earned you a chuckle from the male as he occasionally ran his bare hand through your hair.

Zhongli loved your hair, how soft it felt between his fingers, how it often swayed in the wind, how perfectly it shone. It framed your face perfectly and only enhanced your appearance he was so fond of. It was as if it was touched by a divine being.

He took his time with brushing it, making sure to unravel every knot carefully as he did not want you to feel even the slightest bit of discomfort. Even if you did, though, you wouldn’t mind. The fact that he was willing to brush your hair for you in the first place was good enough and filled you with happiness in its purest form.

His golden eyes, filled with a fondness for your entire being watched as your hair regained its previous state, and even when there were no visible knots, he continued to run his hand through the strands, enjoying the softness that he had restored.

“Beautiful,” he whispered as you felt his hand move to your cheek. He turned you to face him, his touch so gentle one would think it impossible that they were used to make spears out of stone to slay an ancient god. His words, no matter how many times he said them, always made a shade of crimson dust your cheeks.

Zhongli reached for something in the bag that once held all the food items, retrieving a single Glaze Lily, fully in bloom. Your eyes glued themselves on it, staring at the stunning flora in awe.

“I picked this before our departure,” he said as if answering a question you hadn’t stated out loud. “My intention was to merely give this to you, but…”

With gentle movements, Zhongli placed the lily behind your ear, moving a tiny bit of your freshly brushed hair to the side. You watched him, drowning in his loving gaze.

“This just might be the most efficient way of doing so.”

He kept a hand on your cheek and you placed yours on top of it, wanting to enjoy the feeling of his bare hand on your skin. You smiled once more, his words sticking to you. He made you feel so happy, so appreciated, so loved. No words came out of your mouth as you slowly closed the gap between you.

Zhongli returned the kiss, keeping his hand on your cheek while the tips of his fingers grazed the tiniest part of your perfect (H/C) hair that he adored.

#genshin impact #GI #genshin impact x reader #原神 #zhongli #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #genshin impact imagines #reader insert #fluff #gi zhongli #gi zhongli x reader

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

#Anonymous #asks and replies #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #race #chinese diaspora #statistically average #mine #mymeta #mdzs #ummmmm #politics #?? #opinions meme #ask meme

[bakujho]

Another rant about some Shady Eels

So, back again to talk about the shady eels though this time focusing on how with the information we’ve been given we can pretty well confirm the Leech family are mafia. We’ve gotten a few solid gems of information the last little while, pretty well confirming what we always figured. Octavinelle has got that mafia theme, so everyone expected some shadiness, but the info we’ve been fed about the Leech parents really brings home that it’s not just the dorm theme, and that the twins and Azul aren’t just “cosplaying as mafia baddies for aesthetic”. 

So what exactly do we KNOW? 

The twins were taught self defense by their parents from a young age. (Jade voice lines)

When they were children their parents ‘associates’ would buy them luxury or rare  birthday gifts...then were made to sign waivers saying that the gift had no ulterior motives and wouldn’t constitute a favour in return.  (Jade birthday)

Their father has told them that appearances on land are important, and to pay close attention to the little details. (When Idia asks for further clarification, he cuts Floyd off before he goes further saying that any further and he feels like he’d be “ensnared by darkness”) (Floyd dance and wishes wish)

There were many parties back in the Leech household, but they were more formal in nature. (floyd birthday)

Eels have a “tough guy” image in the sea, and them being carnivores doesn’t help. (floyd birthday)

Mama leech worries about her babies and contacts them often (jade birthday)

That they have a family run business, that has contacts with a LOT of kinds of different people. Jade tells us it’s VERY normal. (jade birthday)

Leech parents have spoiled their kids before, so they’re likely fairly well off. (floyd birthday)

Floyd seems to have a bit of a sore spot regarding humans (floyd robes) 

So obviously, without 100% confirmation, it’s impossible to say MAFIA LEECH ARE CANON, but with everything we’ve been given I’m pretty confident in saying it’s damn likely. That’s not even the fun part, cause it’s so surface level obvious considering Octavinelles theme, I decided to jump into it more. @chillableu​ had posted a comment in a shared discord that really got my brain whirring about WHY the mafia fam is maybe a bigger thing than just aesthetic, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Headcanon accepted, chilla. I thank you. (I took out your name in case you didn’t want anyone on discord to find you by it)

  I’ll put the rest of this under a cut since it’s really just me theorizing and head canoning a whole ton of shit about the Leech fam based on humans treating fish as lesser beings incapable of the same level of emotions and intelligence as themselves, adding in bits from other media that has mermaids, mythology, and a touch of the history of the mafia.

Not even really sure where to start with this, but here we go. So, What if the Leech fam (be it great grandpa/grandma leech or current Leeches) started the mafia as a way to protect themselves due to the mistreatment of merfolk that were more “monster” like than the regular human kind mermaids we’ve only seen up until now. Its reported that the original Sicilian mafia started as a way for certain families that were facing persecution from the rest of the towns that eventually spiraled into the crime syndicates we all know from various media today. Outside of the twins and Azul, all the other merfolk that have been shown in game have been the “fully human on top, fish bottom” type, and with Azul being bullied because we was a rare 8 legged mermaid, and the magicamonsters from the Halloween event seeing merfloyd and remarking how RARE it was to see one, so I’m thinking that maybe the Leech fam started as a way to protect themselves, since if carnivorous merfolk are seen as more brutish, they may have seen a lot of discrimination from other merfolk and humans alike. 

It’s no secret that Toboso has been covering a lot of heavy topics dressed up in Disney clothes, and has already addressed discrimination and fetishization with the scarabia, savanaclaw, and more recently Diasomnia boys (well, mostly Malleus in the halloween event being treated like an object). So what I’m thinking is that there’s an underlying problem in the twstverse, where non-humans are treated badly, and non-humans with monster features even more so. So the leech fam bands together with whatever other monster like merfolk families there are and create their own little area in the coral sea, and eventually expand out into other types of business until they’re in a comfortable enough position to not really worry about any backlash anymore. Floyd has shown some distaste before about being ordered around by humans, which could be an ingrained quality from his parents, or he himself may have experienced some form of mistreatment at the hands of humans before. If the leech fam has a lot of ‘associates’ I think it’s safe to say that they weren’t the only ones feeling abandoned by the normal merfolk and humans .

In Japanese folklore there are creatures called Ningyo (basically human fish), which were both feared as creatures that would bring calamity and misfortune, and prized as their flesh was supposed to be sweet tasting and grant near immortality if eaten. Mermaids in a lot of more modern media are also more nuanced than the “beautiful fish that sailors fall in love with”. Even in One Piece, there’s the mermaids that are captured and sold off to the rich as prize objects to collect and display, and the Fishmen, which are the strong brutes that are ostracised by nearly everyone in series for them simply being fish. If Toboso wanted to touch on the mythology in TWST it would make sense that the more monster-like mermaids have created their own sub-society separate from the regular merfolk. During the Halloween event, the children seem to be pretty scared by Floyd because he’s huge, so what if that’s nothing new for him and why he’s so good with kids? Cause as a mermaid they’re used to people being openly scared of them without any good reason outside of their appearance. I also suspect that Floyd and Jade have a few more siblings, since in one of Floyds home screen lines he says that he’s not the youngest nor the oldest, and tbh, eels lay thousands of eggs, so it wouldn’t be surprising that he knew how to deal with the kid without any struggle. 

What if, when the eels are first hatched they’re a lot smaller than they were and like in the original article that started all of this, humans were needlessly cruel to them and many of them died out of sheer neglect, or that humans just didn’t think merfolk as capable as having acute emotions and saw them as lowly fish rather than sentient beings. We saw with the Magicamonsters that there’s a complete disregard for the feelings of Malleus when they made it a challenge to touch his horns and get a picture, so I imagine that has to extend to merfolk as well when they’re actually seen. That same mindset could have extended to the regular mermaids as well, which is why mermaids like Azul were so tormented for being different, even though they’re all fucking mermaids at the end of the day. So bringing this back to the Leech fam, they decided that they weren’t going to stand for the same level of discrimination from humans and other merfolk alike and began building their own empire. They have contacts in the sea that extend to those on land (otherwise how would the twins get the rare land items for their birthdays), and have an extensive network of associates, with the added bonus of brilliant mermaid twins, one of which is incredibly cunning, the other quick to violence and both of them raised to defend themselves should the need arise. 

So basically, I’m fully on the “Mafia Leech Fam is canon for real” train and at this point it’s going to be very hard to change my mind. I feel like there were a few more things I wanted to touch on with this but they’ve poofed themselves into the depths of my mind somewhere, so I may have to come back to them later. If you have anything to add, please let me know cause brain rotting about the Leech fam is honestly one of my favourite past times right now.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #floyd leech #jade leech #twisute #twisted wonderland analysis #octavinelle #leech family #azul ashengrotto