#she would go nonverbal I’m so serious

[cassieroo]

The kind of crisis Annie Edison would have if she was ever hit-on by a hot butch dyke would be so completely unparalleled that she would be put in gay panic paralysis for at LEAST a whole week. If not longer. And post.

#annie edison #community #lesbian annie edison #lesbiannie #she would go nonverbal I’m so serious

[runnning-outof-time]

Hello K! Happy 3.5K followers celebration! I couldn’t wait to join in the celebration and also see what you have prepared! Enjoy the bunch of followers!

May I ask for a glass of wine 🍷? 🥰✨🎉🍾

This is my request: Tommy + “Look at me right now.” (If it’s not taken already of course)

Thanks for this lovely message, Mar! I’m sorry it took me a bit to write your request - it got pretty angsty. And I’m sure none of y’all were watching my posting schedule, but I’m technically a day letter with this one. Sorry! I hope you like what I did with it! Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration - find more stories here!

Take the Ring

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Tommy’s a bit of an asshole…what else is new?, (Y/N)’s a bit brash in this one too

Word Count: 964

Summary: (Y/N)’s last straw slips when she confronts Tommy about his absence.

“I really can’t let you in there, Miss,” the man sitting behind the desk in the receptionist area told (Y/N) for the umpteenth time.

(Y/N) sighed. She’d been at this for at least twenty minutes now. She was hoping that maybe her persistence would soon reward her with a different answer. So far it hadn’t been helping.

“Why not?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.

“Because you do not have an appointment. Mr. Shelby only sees those who have an appointment scheduled with him,” the man explained.

“And if I were to say that I was his fianceé?” she tried, “would I need an appointment then?”

The man’s expression changed immediately. (Y/N) just watched as he scrambled to get up from his chair as quickly as he could. “No, you most certainly wouldn’t. I’m sorry, ma’am,” he apologized as he led her to the door that connected to Tommy’s office.

“Thank you,” she nodded at him, a pleased smile on her face as the door was opened to show Tommy sitting at his desk, his face practically buried in papers.

“Mr. Shelby, your fianceé’s here to see you,” the secretary announced, allowing (Y/N) to step inside before he shut the door again.

Tommy’s head snapped up upon hearing the door shut to see (Y/N) standing with her hands clasped behind her back. “Why’re you here?” he asked, no evident emotion present in his voice. If anything, he was confused as to why she was paying him a visit.

“Seriously, Tommy?” (Y/N) was shocked by his nonchalant question. Tommy raised his eyebrows and flipped his right palm to the sky, as if he was repeating his question in a nonverbal manner. “You’ve forgotten what we were supposed to do during lunch today?” Silence followed her question. “We were supposed to tour the venue?”

A sigh left Tommy’s lips. “Something came up, love,” he told her, removing his glasses then so that he could pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Just like with the fittings and the tasting appointments. Something always comes up,” (Y/N) huffed, crossing her arms, “it’s almost like you don’t want this wedding to happen anymore.”

“That’s not it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Than what is it?” her eyes were wide as she waited intently for an answer.

“I’ve got important things to do here, (Y/N). I’ve been elected to this position, and there’s expectations placed on me. I’ll call the venue and reschedule the tour,” he spoke in a flat voice, as if he was dealing with another item of business.

“No, you’re not going to reschedule it just so that you can miss it again,” she insisted, pursing her lips to stop them from quivering in anger.

“I won’t miss it,” he assured her.

“You said that the last time,” she snapped.

“And I’m saying it again,” he said dismissively. Shock filled (Y/N)’s features then as he looked back at his papers, trying to figure out where he was with his work before she’d entered the room.

Is he being serious right now?! (Y/N) thought incredulously, her eyes wide as she watched him slip back into his work like it was nothing. “Look at me right now,” she demanded then, even surprising herself by how assertive she sounded. She waited until his eyes were back on her before continuing, “do you even care about this, Tommy? Do you care about us?”

Tommy stared at her for a moment, digesting her question and thinking it over. His eyebrows were so deeply furrowed together at this point that his forehead was almost starting to hurt. Where had all of this come from? “Where’s this coming from, eh?” he asked exactly what was on his mind.

“It’s just that…” (Y/N) paused with a long sigh. She’d kept all of these feelings bottled up, but now that it was time to talk about them, she had no clue where to start. “I feel like I’m on my own with everything,” she finally said. Her statement barely scratched the surface of what she was feeling, but it was a start.

“You’re not. I’ve got a lot to do, (Y/N). You know that,” he told her, motioning to his desk before he glanced at the clock. He had a meeting that he needed to be at.

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes it feels…”

“Mr. Shelby, you’re needed for a meeting,” the secretary broke into (Y/N)’s statement, his words making Tommy stand from his desk.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” he told the man, who nodded and shut the door. He took a glance at (Y/N), who now looked baffled, before he went through the motions of lighting himself a cigarette. “Now, is there anything else that’s needed to be talked about? Anything that can’t wait until I get home?”

Is. He. Being. Serious. Right. Now? she repeated to herself as she blinked a few times, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that he was essentially dismissing her. The more she thought about it, the more her anger rose. This was the final straw for her. She was at the end of her rope.

“Yeah, actually there is something else,” she responded, her emotions quickly becoming apparent as she took a few steps closer to his desk while fighting with the piece of jewelry present on her left hand’s fourth finger. “Take the ring, Tommy. I’m finished with all of this.”

“(Y/N)…”

“No. Save it. I see how this ends now, and I’m saving myself from it. Goodbye, Tommy Shelby,” she cut his objection off, looking up at him only to reveal her glare before she turned on her heel and stormed out of the office.

*tags in reblog so that hopefully they get sent out

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby blurb #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders x you #peaky blinders blurb #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #k’s 3.5k celebration

[fadelikeclouds]

Diving into Tai’s mind: actions do not speak louder than words

First of all, I will say that I was upset with Tai at the end of episode 10. I am fine that Tai didn’t want to talk to Patts outside on the street. He was probably shocked and frightened by Patts angry outburst, and he wanted to put some time and distance between them so that they could cool off and talk more rationally later. What I’m less fine with is that Tai still refuses to say anything after Patts shows up at his door. And yeah, Patts probably shouldn’t have shown up drunk outside Tai’s door, but he is in pain and needs some comfort, and he tells Tai this. So why doesn’t Tai say anything to reassure Patts?

And now we come to the reason I am writing this. I don’t like staying upset at people, so I try to understand them. After thinking about things I am still frustrated with Tai, but a little less so. Here are the results of my musings.

Tai has been struggling with his parent’s divorce for over 2 years now. It’s easy to say that, but what does it mean? He is a romantic, and seeing his ideal of love crumble before him was frightening because it made him doubt the existence of love and happiness. Soulmates guarantee nothing. Love doesn’t last. Families can break apart. That’s a pretty dismal view of the world. Despair is never easy to cope with. He had his faith in love broken, so of course he wouldn’t talk to his soulmate, because why create a relationship that will only break your heart?

Then he sees Patts, and he starts to hope again. But he’s still hesitant. He’s still scared. He knows that there is no guarantees in relationships, soulmates or not. This is how he goes into his relationship with Patts, fighting against his doubts and fears the whole way. Throughout the beginning Patts is patient, kind, charming, and Tai begins to be more open to the idea of a relationship with this soulmate of his. Then the whole situation with Nara happens, and his fears and doubts about love come up again.

He talked with Nara; he knows how much she loved Patts, and he even cheered her on when he didn’t know Patts was her ex. They honestly loved each other, and seeing them kiss makes him question, again, what makes a relationship last. Confused and panicked, he decides to talk a walk to the Doi Mae Pliang in an effort to figure everything out... which doesn’t work. But he talks with Patts after he finds him in the ditch, and after being reassured that Patts does love him and would choose to love him even without being soulmates his mind clears. He knows he loves Patts, and all of Patts words and actions make him believe that Patts reciprocates that love. So he (nonverbally) agrees to officially date him when Patts asks him the next morning. At a glance, what’s the big deal? That’s only natural. This is a romance, of course they’re going to start dating. But as a character, this choice means that he is willing to face all his fears about being in a relationship, a big shift for the guy who ran away from his issues by remaining silent for 2 years. To be clear, I don’t think his fears go away, but Tai has the resolve that this relationship is worth it, that Patts is worth the risk of heartbreak.

And even then, he’s not ready to go the final step and have sex with Patts just yet. That is another level of vulnerability that Tai eases himself into, something that he doesn’t take lightly. In this episode, when he says he’s ready, to him it’s another way of showing how serious and committed he is to this relationship. He loves Patts, and is willing to face all the fears that comes with being in a relationship with his soulmate.

All of this is a big deal to Tai. These are very large steps that he has taken forward as someone who chose to very litterally suffer in silence every time it rained. Now, does he talk about this with Patts? Not in any great detail. That’s part of the problem.

To Tai it’s not even a question of whether to choose Patts or Lomfon. He loves Patts. All of his actions show just how much Patts means to him. And I think it hurts Tai that Patts doesn’t understand him. Because in Tai’s mind, he’s crossed oceans of fears, fought uphill battles against his skepticism, just to get here. Having Patts doubt Tai’s love makes him feel that Patts belittles all the pain and fear Tai’s endured to get to this point in the relationship. And that hurts because in a relationship, you want to be understood by your partner so that you can share in the joys and pains with them.

But what Tai doesn’t see is that Patts is in pain right now. Patts is scared and needs some words of reassurancs because he is human. He has his own fears and insecurities. He watched as his last relationship fell apart because he has a “soulmate”, something entirely out of his control. And with the appearance of a second soulmate, having Tai lie about seeing Lomfon, catching them at the perfectly wrong moment to see them kiss, Patts loses it. He’s angry and afraid because again, he could lose someone he loves because of this soulmate thing that he has no control over. That fear grips him, and when we’re like that, we can’t think calmly. Sometimes we need the support of others to help us through the dark avenues of the mind.

But instead of helping him, Tai feels like he’s said everything Patts is asking him to say, and he’s upset that Patts can’t hear him. And I get that. It’s frustrating when you feel like you’ve been saying something over and over again, and the other person just doesn’t seem to get it. What’s the point in trying to communicate when nothing you say will be understood? It feels as if all your efforts are just futile. But communication is a two way street. Being understood is an important part of a relationship, but it is equally important to try to understand the other person, which is what Tai is missing here. Tai has spoken through his actions, but what Patts needs are words. He needs to hear that Tai does love him, that he does choose him. We say that actions speak louder than words, but at times words are absolutely necessary.

#la pluie #la pluie ep 10 #many other people have written great things about these characters these are just my 2 cents #which ended up being a little bit long for just 2 cents... #As frustrating as this whole thing is #I like seeing flawed characters #because people are flawed and it’s nice to see that acknowledged in stories and media #It’s important to remember that imperfect people deserve to be happy too #and that it’s possible to make any sort of relationship work even if we say the wrong thing sometimes #People make mistakes #that doesn’t mean they are a mistake #Now we just have to wait two weeks to see how they decide to resolve this whole thing 😭 #precipitating thts

[genshinlover101]

Hello,heard about your recent comeback just only,I hope you’re still in good spirits and remember to take care of yourself once again :)-I literally would wait every day for your stories tho cuz I luv the way you write them sm

Anyways…I hope you won’t mind taking a request from me-if you can that its-basically reader who’s usually calm and serious in public but behind closed doors they show a more playful and flirty side with Yae Miko,Ei and Sara

Her with a S/O who is Reserved in Public but Flirty in Private

Characters: Yae Miko, Raiden Shogun, Sara x gn!reader

Warnings: none

A/n: Ahh Thank you <3 I hope you didn’t wait too long for this. It’s been a while since I’ve written for Sara but I’ve been craving it for a while now 

• For Yae Miko, she assumed your stoic attitude was due to your shyness. You always stood stiff as a rock around her, even after her relentless teasing. For her it was like a game, oh whatever can she do to make you break.

• It took a lot to drive Miko crazy, what tore her to pieces was how you didn’t act the same when you two were alone. Almost like you switched personalities, the way you clung to her and almost offered your entire existence to her.

• She’ll try her best to bring that side of you out the public, she almost saw the side of you in private as the “true” version of you. She honestly liked it better and she wanted to show the world just how much you loved the Fox lady, even if it wasn’t very professional of her.

Miko felt like ripping her fur out. Out of every one of her “victims”, she’s never felt this sort of resistance. She managed to shed the thick coat of the doggy general Gorou, strip the hotpot terrorizer Thoma, and even go head to head with that Kamisato rascal. Not even the Raiden Shogun could hide from her in her little isolation game. So why did you drive her crazy?

You stood beside her almost completely nonverbal, your entire demeanor so intimidating almost minutes ago. Only for her to shut the doors and here you stood before her with your arms wrapped around her waist, your eyes filled with affection and love, your lips moist from your saliva. “What’s the matter Miko?” You murmured to her.

“You’ve got some nerve little mouse,” she looked at you clean in the eyes, a vein popping from her forehead, her nails growing as if she were reverting into her Fox-like form. “You’re so shrewd. Why keep this side of you so hidden from the public? If you acted more confidently such as this, you might be more resourceful than you present.” You knew her little tricks, she’s said every line to get you out of your comfort zone.

“Why show the world this side of me when you can have it all to yourself. Does that not satisfy you enough Miko?” You challenge. You had a smug look on your face, she returned yours with a smile so wide her eyes closed from her cheeks.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” she hissed. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve become much more efficient since I’ve met you, one thing you certainly didn’t pick up from me was your cleverness.” Miko was always a step ahead of everyone, so finding someone willing to talk back to her was rare. A type of rarity she didn’t appreciate much.

• Ei is somewhat calm and reserved as you are, she doesn’t really react unless she has to, especially in public. As the Shogun stated, “There are only two kinds of things- those that must be done and those that must not” the same logic applied to her stiffness.

• However what did surprise her excellency was how noisy and touchy you can be in private. She’ll be the first to admit how annoying your shift can be. She probably preferred when you were quieter, it mirrored her perfectly, just sitting in comfortable silence.

• She won’t lash out or reject you in private, no matter how obnoxious you might come off as. She’ll just keep you at arms reach, like a babysitter who was socially awkward with children. Keeping everything of potential harm away.

Ei sat and drank her tea in silence after the Tenryou Commission Committee left the Tenshukaku. Once the doors had closed she braced herself, preparing for your inevitable personality switch. Hoping that you might be worn out for once from the meeting. You sat in utter silence, not voicing your opinion even when given the floor. Your arms crossed as you sat with an RBF, not inviting anyone into your inner circle. A symbol of strength that anyone of the Tenryou Commission could respect.

That was until you were certain the room you occupied was only shared between you and your lover. You couldn’t contain your excitement, jumping up from your cushion as you slammed your hands against the table. “Ei!” You howled, rushing to bear hug her. “You were so cool! You sure showed those grumpy old men. I spit at their very character.” You rambled, making enough conversation for the both of you.

Once you got into hugging distance, you opened your arms nice and wide, but almost immediately you were stopped in your tracks. Ei’s arm reached out to stop your momentum, gripping your shoulder as you melted by just a mere touch. “Sit, partake in some tea with me,” she invited you. “It’s green tea, brewed by the Tenshukaku’s servants.”

You sat like a dog beside her, trying to carefully grab the hot cup. You couldn’t help but shake at how cool you thought your girlfriend was, the archon or eternity, how undeniably cool. If only you could match her energy. “This tea is certainly delicious, but I think we should do something grander than just sit and drink tea. Don’t you agree?” You tried to budge her

“I disagree,” she said without a second thought. “I want to spend quality time with you. No words of affirmation, no need for gifts, services, or physical contact. Just sit and enjoy this moment of silence with me.” You tried your best to follow her commands, almost like a dog being told to stay with a treat resting on its muzzle. The temptations to tell her how much you appreciated her on the tip of your tongue.

• When in public, Sara was grateful for how reserved you were. It didn’t need much of an explanation that the general of the Tenryou military must be calm and organized. If you were anything else she would be afraid to take you out in public without jeopardizing her position.

• In private, your affection nevertheless surprised her. As a little tengu, Sara was neglected, even after she was adopted. As she grew older, she had formed no real connections, no friends, no family. So when you turned out to be so touchy and affectionate it took her a while to adapt.

• She would never admit it, but you were on the low what Sara needed the most. She tried to deny it even pushing you away verbally but never physically. In the end, she’d embrace you for who you were even if she was a bit shy and not very receptive. 

You stood quietly behind General Kujou, her arms folded and her head held high. You mirrored her strong stance perfectly, the Shogunate Samurai admiring how much you and Sara complimented each other. Even without equivalent power, your presence only reinforced Sara’s intimidating reputation. She was just as untouchable as ever. She looked behind at you with a side-eye, giving you a silent signal with a head nudge to follow her into her tent.

As you trailed behind her you felt your excitement levels rising. Even though the intentions were to strategize and nothing but work, you would always get sidetracked by her sheer beauty. She opened the drapes of the entrance, allowing you two to funnel into the small tent. Preparing herself over the small table with a map of Narukami Island, at any moment you could decide to play your silly games with her.

With a long sigh and closed eyes, she tensed her stomach as you reached to grip her muscular belly with your arm. Your lips brushed against her neck as you sniffed the deep spruce smell from her shampoo. Her head rotates to allow you more access to her neck. “C-cease whatever this is at once,” her voice strained harshly as if she were lecturing one of her underlings. 

It was always like this, a game between two lovers. Her body agreed with your every movement, while her words denied her actions. Your fingers brush through her roughly cut bob. The strength in her arms, the stiffness in her back, it all reminded you too much of how strong the woman you held was. Just your embrace was enough to make her all flustered. “Sara, sometimes you really need to calm down once in a while you know,” you teased.

“Shut your mouth,” she spat at you. “I don’t want to hear criticism from a maniac like you.” Normally such insults would hurt like knives, but you knew she didn’t know how to reply to you kindly without hurting her own pride. It wasn’t long till Sara regained a piece of her mind and peeled your hands from her waist. A harsh blush on her face as she avoided eye contact with you for the next hour out of spite.

#yae miko x reader #raiden shogun x reader #sara x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yae miko #raiden shogun #kujou sara

[natureplay]

୨୧Chapter VIII • Motorcycle Rides

୨୧Masterlist

↫Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ↬

Word count: 1.8k

You won the first round of the game. It was probably because of those drinks you had, but you felt confident enough to ask Leon to play another one.

Claire is standing by just observing the two of you, cheering for you, making comments here and there just to tease Leon.

You’re enjoying yourself pondering whichever shot would be the best. You bend over propping one leg over the table, careful to not move any balls from their position and take aim.

Your stick hits the cue ball, sending it spiralling towards the pink-striped ball. It falls in one of the pockets and you stand up with a big smile on your face. Only one left, then the 8-Ball. Even though it’s only your second game, you’re starting to get the hang of it quickly.

It’s Leon’s turn now. He skims over the entire table for a while. Pacing around with a serious look on his face.

“Hurry up!” Claire hurries.

You’re watching him closely. Leon finally gets into position. He gets ready, drawing the cue stick back and forth then it finally happens. The stick makes contact with the cue ball which pockets his remaining 2 balls. He stands with a smirk.

“Your turn”

Only the 8-Ball and cue ball are left. You thought this was going to be easy, and it could be...

Unfortunately for you, the white ball ended near one of the edges. It would be impossible. But that doesn’t mean you’re not going to try.

You totally miss the shot, pocketing the cue ball instead. This means an instant win for Leon— if he doesn’t fuck it up astronomically. You kind of hope he does, but then you feel bad for wanting him to lose.

As expected, Leon doesn’t fuck it up astronomically. The game is over and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. Lesson learned: don’t get cocky while playing against Leon Kennedy because he will humble you as quickly as that.

“What a show-off you are,” Claire says.

Leon and you played another game so you could get revenge but you ended up losing. You couldn’t feel more humiliated and disappointed. You went to sit down at the table with Claire. Leon went to the bathroom.

“Don’t get bummed out, he was just trying to impress you” The brunette says. You look into her bright blue eyes letting yourself get lost in them for a while. She is just so gorgeous.

As you snap out of your daze, you realize what Claire just said. "Impress me?" You scoff, shaking your head. "I doubt that. He's probably just having a good time”

“You didn’t see what I saw” Claire winks.

“Oh really? And what did you see?”

“Well, he was definitely checking you out throughout the whole game”

You blush at the thought of Leon looking at you in that way, “No way!”

“Yes way! He barely even broke contact with you. Then you lifted your leg up and I could see it was over for him— He was definitely screaming internally”

Even if what Claire is saying is true, why would she out her friend like that?

“Claire...”

“I’m telling you!”

“Telling her what?” Leon sits down next to you.

“Nothing, we were just talking about how good this new show is. You probably don’t know it”

“Okay”

Leon seems a bit sceptical, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he leans back in his chair, eyeing Claire suspiciously.

He didn’t hear what you were talking about, did he? Oh no...

“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty hungry,” he says.

“At this hour?”

Leon shrugs at Claire like he’s saying “Yeah, you got a problem with it” nonverbally.

“Actually, I’m feeling pretty hungry as well,” you say. You barely ate anything today, even if you promised yourself you were going to take much better care of your body. But, old habits die hard. At least you were trying.

Claire sighs, “And where do you want to go?”

You ended up going to a restaurant both Claire and Leon say they frequent. The restaurant is small and nicely decorated. No other people besides the three of you which is somehow making the place feel cold.

You’re seating at a table near the window. Claire is seating next to you, her head resting on top of the table facing the window. Leon is in the chair in front of Claire. No one is saying anything.

You’re waiting for the food to arrive. Head empty, stomach also empty.

You clear your throat but then Leon speaks.

“How come you don’t have a driver’s licence?”

Ah , here it is. The million-dollar question.

“Long story...”

“I’m all ears” He leans back.

“Well, I tried getting one at seventeen, but I failed the exam. Then I tried again after I graduated high school and failed again. I failed again in my last year of college and decided that it was a sign I don’t belong behind the wheel...”

Leon laughs.

“What if it’s a sign you should get a motorcycle!” Claire says, raising her head from the table.

You have considered it, then your mother managed to talk you out of it

“I don’t know, it’s not really my style...”

“Aw, c’mon! Didn’t you like it when you were on it with me?”

You did like it. You liked the sensation of the wind passing through your clothes and hair. It was invigorating, liberating, and brought a smile to your face.

“I don’t know...”

“Do you want to go for another ride?” she asks, eyes glistening with anticipation and excitement.

You look at Leon.

“I’ll stay here waiting for our order”

Claire jumps out of her seat and drags you along with her.

You go outside and get on the motorcycle. She hands you a helmet which you accept gladly.

Claire revs the engine and exits the parking lot with ease. You hold tight onto her waist.

You don’t usually go on thrill rides, but this feels amazing.

“It’s okay, you can relax”

You relax your grip and gaze upwards, taking in the breathtaking beauty of the night sky. The stars are twinkling brightly and the full moon illuminates everything around you. You take a deep breath and marvel at how peaceful this night is.

You’re loving the feeling of pure bliss that floods you as you tip your head back and just enjoy being in the moment.

Claire is silent for the most part, except when she’s asking if you’re enjoying it and warning you about increasing the speed. You barely hear her over the wind blowing past your ears.

You two drove around for a couple more minutes. It made you happy and forget the weariness in your bones, made you forget about worries for a little while.

You walk back into the restaurant, where Leon is sitting alone. Whatever food you ordered is ready. You totally forgot about that.

Leon looks up and greets both of you with a warm smile. "Hey, how was the ride?" he asks.

"It was amazing!" you reply, still feeling the rush of excitement from the ride. "Claire is a fantastic driver."

Claire chuckles and says, "Thanks, but it's all about the bike. She's a real beauty."

You look down at the plate before you, feeling a sharp pang of hunger in your stomach as it starts to rumble. You begin to eat, savouring every bite as the delicious flavours fill your mouth. Every morsel is delightful; each texture is unique and delectable. As you chew, it feels like a party for your taste buds - each bite brings with it something new and exciting. The food is so heavenly that you can hardly believe it's possible for something to be this good.

The three of you eat in silence, all equally hungry. You don’t know what time it is, but it’s not really important at this moment.

After finishing your meals, you pay and leave the restaurant.

“You were tight, the food here is amazing”

“I told you!” Claire says.

You climb onto the back of Claire's motorcycle once again, for the fourth time this night. She had been the one to take you around all evening and you have no doubt that she will be your ride home as well.

You had a wonderful night with the two of them. It was definitely a time you won't soon forget. Claire is such an amiable person; she and Leon appear to have an indestructible bond which is so admirable! You find yourself feeling envious of their relationship; something like that is a rarity these days.

“You know,” Claire says with a laugh, “I let Leon drive my motorcycle once and he almost crashed”

You glance back at Leon and can't help but smile at his sheepish expression. Leon rolls his eyes.

“You’re exaggerating”

“You almost sent us flying!”

“Whatever...”

You chuckle at their banter.

“I’m sure you’ve gotten better since then” You try to come to his defence. It wouldn’t be fair if both you and Claire ganged up on him like that, though a part of you wanted to do that just to see how he would react.

“You can be the judge of that,” Claire says and gets off the motorcycle. Your eyes widen but you remain in your spot.

“I thought you said you’d never let me near it”

Claire raises her shoulders.

“It’s the only way you can prove yourself. No pressure though. If you want” she winks “I’ll let this cutie right here be the judge”

Claire rests her hand on your thigh. The simple action sends billions of sparks through your veins. You can feel the heat radiating from Claire’s hand as she stares at you with an unreadable expression, waiting for your response.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself before facing Leon again.

“I guess so...” you manage to say in a low voice “But shouldn’t you—”

“Great!” Claire pats your thigh and walks towards where Leon is standing beside his car.

Leon hesitates for a moment, judging if it’s worth it or not then he finally moves, looking down at the pavement. He gets on the motorcycle.

“Hold tight,” he says.

You wrap your arms around his waist. This is more intimate than you've ever been with him and it brings a strange thrill. Through the fabric of his shirt, you can feel the taut muscle underneath and it only intensifies your feelings in that moment. You take a deep breath, overwhelmed by the closeness of it all; he smells of alcohol and his scent. You take it all in.

Your eyes snap open, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. You try to take some deep, calming breaths. It's just like it was when you were with Claire; why are you having such an intense reaction to Leon? You try to rationalize why your behaviour has been so strange.

It’s because of what Claire said! You’re just worried he’s going to crash. That’s all.

You rest your head on Leon's back as he starts up the engine and exits out of the parking lot. You look back at Claire’s shrinking silhouette.

୨୧Masterlist

↫Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ↬

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #daring destiny

[marbleluvrofliberty]

Someone I Could Put My Faith In

PROLOGUE

“So just like that you have to leave?” Floreal says, wrinkling her perfect nose.

“Well, my mother says the new house is too far from Corinthe. I won’t be able to take the bus anymore and Dad would have to drive me to school every day.” Grantaire picks at the skin around her nails. Irma slaps her hand away. 

“Grantaire, you’re impossible. Stop that.”

For the last two years Irma has made it her mission to rid Grantaire of some of her more unseemly habits, (to varying success).

Floreal’s brow still hasn’t un-furrowed. “But it’s only a few miles farther, isn’t it?”

Grantaire shrugs, fiddling with a blade of grass in lieu of her cuticles. “Apparently his new job is in the opposite direction and it isn’t worth the extra gas money.”

Irma scoffs. Grantaire isn’t sure if it’s on her behalf or at the idea of someone worrying about gas money.

“Besides,” Grantaire continues, unsure of why she’s suddenly trying to justify a decision she didn’t make and isn’t particularly enthusiastic about, “Musain High is so close to the new place that I’ll be able to walk. Feels like a waste to drive the extra miles.”

Floreal sighs and flops back on her elbows. “I suppose…but the team won’t be the same without you.”

“And it seems so unfair to uproot you halfway through senior high…” Irma says, chewing her lip.

“Aww, Irm, you do care,” Grantaire says, reaching to pinch Irma’s cheek. Irma scowls and swats Grantaire’s hand away. “It’s really not worth any fuss, girls. Besides you two there’s nothing I’m really sorry to leave. And the team won’t have any trouble replacing me. I mean, Gros certainly won’t be sorry to see me go.”

“I’ve told you a thousand times that Gros does not hate you,” Floreal says, rolling her eyes, “You’re one of the best fliers we have and she knows it. She’s just not one to coddle.”

“And you can’t exactly deny that she has a point about your lack of pep,” Irma says, raising her eyebrows.

Grantaire gasps. “Madame, I am offended! I am the peppiest cheerleader this fine institution has ever seen!”

“Let’s go purple, let’s go white,” Floreal recites in her best monotone, “Let’s go fellows, fight, fight fight.”

Irma continues, stifling her giggles with an overly-straight face. “We’re so groovy, we’re so neat, Corinthe High just can’t be beat.”

Grantaire claps a hand to her heart. “I’ll have you know that I am very serious about my cheering and the pep thereof.”

“Oh are you?” Irma says.

“Speaking of,” Floreal says, adjusting her cardigan so fastidiously you’d think it had lapels, “does this mean you’ll be joining Musain’s team?”

At this Irma straightens up, both of them watching Grantaire expectantly.

“Um,” Grantaire says, a bit disconcerted at the sudden scrutiny, “maybe, I dunno. Why? Are they not any good?”

The other girls exchange a look.

“Oh, they’re quite good as far as I know,” Floreal says, choosing her words carefully, “but the girls have a bit of a…reputation.”

“Oh?” Grantaire raises her eyebrows. Floreal widens her eyes and inclines her head as if that’s supposed to explain everything.

When Grantaire continues to look puzzled in the face of this brilliant bit of nonverbal communication, Irma chimes in.

“They’re, you know…” she gestures vaguely, “loose.”

Floreal gives a staunch nod. “Very talented I’m sure, but just not the right kind of girls.”

“Oh,” Grantaire says. Not for the first time she wonders what Floreal would think of the passing-period cigarette breaks she’s been known to steal under the bleachers.

Of course, she reasons, smoking doesn’t make her loose precisely, despite any untoward implications. No, all of Grantaire’s less chaste inclinations remain firmly (if involuntarily) unaddressed, though she doubts saying so would reassure her audience.

Floreal and Irma are still eyeing her expectantly, probably waiting for some sort of denouncement of the Musain High cheer team’s alleged promiscuity.

“I guess I’ll just have to steer clear of them then,” is the best Grantaire can manage.

^^prologue to a 1950s lesbian exR AU i'm writing

#i'm really excited for this you guys #there aren't enough lesbian amis fics #grantaire is a lesbian incel but unfortunately we all knew this already #les mis #grantaire #exr #enjoltaire #my stupid ass writing

[cherryjuiceblues]

Do u think that in mb yn would fall into a subspace too fast and harry like struggles to pull her out of it and he begins to panic a little ?

i think this could happen, yeah! after a particularly bad day perhaps and she hasn’t registered all her feelings yet so she thinks she wants to be roughed up a little but she’d slip into subspace. and it would be murky and her head would be full of her bad day instead of all floaty and light from harry. and maybe he’s manhandling her a bit, spanking her in multiple places on her body. and when she doesn’t make as much noise as normal, or he looks up and sees spacey eyes he’s like, “oh darling, you had a really bad day, didn’t you?” and y/n just nods and her lips are all sad ☹️ and she’d get all teary. and harry scoops her up, “let’s cuddle. i know you said you wanted it rough but i’m overruling your decision.” and she doesn’t argue, she’s not really in the right mind to. and harry would just talk to her about his day and anything else he can think of to distract her. but after 30 minutes and she’s still all sad looking he’s like oh this is serious. so he’d make her tell him what’s upsetting her to get it all out. and she’d cry and he’d wipe her tears ☹️ and then he’d decide to to shower with her, and do her skincare, wrap her up in a blanket after dressing her in his shirt. and carry her downstairs to watch tv whilst he scratches her head and trails his fingers across her cheeks ☹️ i think he’d panic if by the end of the night she hasn’t started to come back up. i feel y/n could go a little nonverbal in subspace and if she hasn’t started speaking then he’d be a little concerned. but in the morning she’s feeling okay and then he loves on her proper and makes her all light and floaty in a Good way 🤕

#anon #mutually beneficial #concept

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Here’s an idea I’m turning into a story: after being saved and dealing with the guilt, Vanessa goes nonverbal. She remembers what happened to her therapists, and is worried any word that leaves her lips will result in death to anyone who listens. The animatronics confront her, so she flees to a security office and locks the doors. The other beg her to open up, but she refuses. Gregory gets in the office, and convinces her to open the doors. She collapses, and the others give her a group hug while she finally lets it all out. (I probably had your attention up to the Gregory bit, but I like every member of the GlamFam too much to not include them.)

lmao the Glamrocks cancel out Gregory like PEMDAS, so you’re all good!

but i LOVE this concept! Vanessa going nonverbal because she’s afraid of getting more people killed, despite being freed? AMAZING IDEA! i can’t believe i never thought of that before!

if you’re serious about writing it as a fic, i would love to see it and i eagerly await it!

#ask #fnaf security breach #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's security breach #fnaf vanessa

[theswampspirit]

More Stranger Things S4 Vol 1 Stuff: Fav Lumax Scenes!

This is an outline of some of my favorite scenes involving the Lumax ship. Some background on my feelings toward the ship; I think it is a good ship. I wasn’t a fan of how they wrote Lucas’ initial interactions with Max (the whole “watching her through binoculars” with his friends), but they also did that with Jonathan and Nancy in season 1 (which one was worse is up to you to decide). I guess the writers are keen on using that trope for their characters, or maybe that’s what the kids did back then (still not a good thing to be doing though). Despite that, I do feel that Lucas and Mac had a great rapport following the rest of season 2. Do I feel that they could’ve used more interactions in season 3, yeah, but I feel that Lucas wasn’t a part of that season’s focus, and their relationship did feel typical of middle school tweens. In season 4, they took it up a notch, having Lucas truly care for Max’s well being and only being able to reach so much, and Max slowly realizing that it’s okay to let in the people who care about. It gave me some strong season 2 Lumax vibes. 

So, now that the lengthy context is out of the way, let’s dive into some of my favorite Lumax moments. 

Moment 1. Lucas waving at Max and Max giving him the cold shoulder. This really sets up the fact that a drift has occurred between the two. This wasn’t a silly little break up where Max was tired of whatever antics Lucas was doing that week and Lucas managed to get right and smooth things over with her. This was a serious breakup. Lucas still cared for her, but she was putting distance between her and him (and the world). At this point, we had no clue what was going on, and only had watch more to piece things together. 

Moment 2. Lucas knowing Max’s favorite song and the Vecna attack flashbacks. This part of Vecna’s attack really showed us two things: Lucas really knew Max and cared for her more than we may given him credit for, and for Max, all of those moments with Lucas really meant something to her. Would I dare to call it love...only if the cast members, writers, and characters themselves would. But you cannot deny the bond these two share (yes, I’m aware that El, Dustin, and Mike were apart of those flashbacks too which I greatly enjoyed, but this is a Lumax fav scene review).

Moment 3. The laugh in the Creel House. So, this scene was also a major favorite. Just because of Sadie Sink’s nonverbal acting. When Lucas makes Max laugh, and he tells her he missed that, you can see through Sadie’s acting that something is going through Max’s head, something that to me looked like longing and wanting express some kind of feeling she has towards Lucas. I’ve seen some that said it looked like they should’ve kissed there (which they may or may not have been serious), but I don’t necessarily think she would’ve done so. But she definitely wanted to do or say something. 

Moment 4: The walk (and talk) in the woods. While searching for Eddie, Lucas and Max are paired up again and they are talking. Here is a Caleb McLaughlin shine as I feel that he delivered perfectly how many have felt when we try to understand what was going with a friend or family member who’s going through rough time, only to be rebuffed and then deciding to give them space and let them come to you, then when you do see what’s going on, you feel such guilt over being so blind that you want them to know that you’re aware of their pain and are truly here for them. They way Lucas tells Max “I see you” and the look she gives back is just so good acting and emotional wise. To top it off, the fact that Max still genuinely shows concern for Lucas at the start of the conversation is just another way of showing how much she truly cares for Lucas, even if she doesn’t exactly admit it out loud. Plus, I really loved Robin’s reaction to their conversation. She really is one of the greats. 

So, yeah, there goes some of other thoughts on Stranger Things 4 Vol 1. Just gonna sit here and wait for the second volume like dog waiting to be fed. Lumax is great, may end doing another piece on my thoughts on shipping in general sometime though. Expect more things in the future. Have a good time out there!

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #stranger things s4 vol1 #Lucas Sinclair #lucas stranger things #Max Mayfield #max stranger things #lumax #lumax s4 #cool ship #young love #robin stranger things #caleb mclaughlin #sadie sink #vecna stranger things #running up that hill

[hippiemikelove-blog]

#AllCannabinoids #BottleOfLove #CannabisHeals #CannabisIsMedicine #CannabisRecovery #CBD #FECO #MikesMedicine #MikesMedicines #NatureNotPills #StopTheSeizures #THC #WholePlant

[briamichellewrites]

49

Apples and avocados. Jason would have to remember that. He enjoyed being able to talk with his sister-in-law. Muto and Donna gave him more of an update after she and Mara left. They also explained to Jack who she was. They first met in 1998. Mike brought her to Thanksgiving dinner because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. They then dated on and off for several years, but they remained close friends. It was about a year ago that she was in a serious car accident.

She and a friend were driving home from getting something to eat. They were waiting to cross through the intersection when they were hit on the driver’s side at around a hundred miles an hour. The accident caused her to have bleeding in her brain, fluid in her heart, and a broken leg. Along with minor cuts and bruises. She had emergency surgery to stop the bleeding in her brain.

She also had open heart surgery. Because of the trauma, she had permanent, irreversible brain damage and epileptic seizures. She was nonverbal and paralyzed. How did she move around in her wheelchair? She could move her hands but she lost the ability to move her arms. That was why she got a new monitor. Mike moved in with her after the accident, so he could take care of her. Were they married? Yes, they had a small courthouse wedding.

“She doesn’t want pity or sympathy. Mike’s band loves her. They don’t treat her any differently. They’re always joking around with her while making sure she’s okay. She has another group of friends who also come over to see her or help out.”

“What happened to the person who hit her?”

“She was found guilty of driving under the influence of drugs. All of us wanted her to go to jail, but she ended up being sentenced to community service.”

They found out after the arrest that the woman who hit her was her half-sister. That family never visited her in the hospital or asked how she was doing or how they could help. Where were her parents? Her mother died when she was a baby and her father died when she was seventeen years old. Biologically, she was an only child.

Even though it was late, Mike called home to see if Bria was still awake. She was. Mara set her phone up on speaker, so she could hear what he said and respond to him with her monitor. It was like a real conversation. She told him about having dinner with his parents, Jason, and his boyfriend, Jack. They just got home from that. How was that? It was very fun. She hadn’t seen Jason in a while, so she liked talking with him.

“Mara and I showed them my monitor and how it works.”

“I’m going to have to ask him about his boyfriend. This is the first time I’ve heard about it.”

“You didn’t hear it from me.”

He laughed. “I’m sure he won’t mind you telling me.”

“We should take a vacation somewhere when you get home. We could go hiking or something.”

“That is a great idea. It can’t be too remote because I want us to be near a hospital, so we can’t go camping or anything. Just in case. I’ll look into wheelchair-accessible hiking trails.”

“Awesome. Maybe Abbie can help me look into it tomorrow when she comes over. What time is it there where you are?”

It was about four in the morning, but they had a day off to sleep and rest. That sounded wonderful. He agreed it was. Would she bring the cats hiking? They would not enjoy being on leashes, though they would probably enjoy smelling everything. He laughed and agreed that was probably true. After talking for a while about the tour, they said I love you, and good night.

Mara left the room to give them privacy. Whatever they were talking about as husband and wife was none of her business. She noticed her coming over to her, so she got up and walked over to meet her. After taking the phone, she turned it off. How was the phone call? It was wonderful. They were going to plan a hiking trip somewhere close to LA. She was going to look into it with Abbie when she came over. A vacation sounded like a great idea.

“He called me at four in the morning.”

“Oh my gosh. Does he have to get up early?”

“No, they have the day off. He can sleep in.”

“Good. I’m glad you got to talk to him. Are you tired now?”

Yes, she was. It had been a fun day and evening but she was ready to go to sleep. They went into her room. She helped her to bed before hooking up her medical equipment. Abbie would be over the next morning to bring her to a group for adults with Lou Gehrig’s disease. It would be her first time going. Abbie called the contact person listed on the website to ask if she could attend since she didn’t have an official diagnosis. She was told that yes, she could attend.

Who would be joining her? Abbie gave her name. She was her nurse and caregiver. After getting more information, they ended the call. Bria was anxiously waiting to hear if she could go. She zoomed around the house to give her a distraction. When she heard she could go, she was very excited.

What was she excited about? She was excited about meeting other people like her. Maybe they could learn more about the disease and how to get a diagnosis. She thought that was possible. They might be serving snacks. Was she okay with bringing her feeding tube and supplies? Maybe she could have something to drink. Yes, she would like that.

She would pack it into her bag for her, then after breakfast. After saying good night, she walked out and closed the door behind her quietly. She then went into the kitchen and found the notebook. Mara wrote about their morning and afternoon. She wrote about having dinner with her in-laws and her phone call with Mike. It was a later night than usual, but there weren’t any problems. She was in a great mood the entire day.

Bria was one of the easiest patients she ever worked with. She loved coming to work and hanging out with her because she never knew what to expect. Abbie felt the same way. Ten out of ten would recommend having her as a patient. They had patients who were sometimes aggressive or borderline abusive, especially when it came to patients with brain injuries. But, not her.

She was more than a patient, she was like a friend. The house was quiet, as the cats were also asleep. She went to the dining room and worked on her laptop. It was near her room, so she would hear if any of her monitors went off. Meow. Rascal jumped up onto the table. He was awake and ready to cause trouble. She sighed as he sat on her keyboard. Do you just want attention? He slowly blinked at her. After getting what he wanted, he ran off and she continued working.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[calamityandme]

AM I AUTISTIC OR AM I MAKING THIS DIFFERENT THAN WHAT IT REALLY IS?

I couldn’t understand when my friend was trying to have a serious conversation with me. She looked me in the eyes for a long time and I couldn’t understand what she was trying to convey. Other people do that all the time and they aren’t necessarily autistic. This happens to me on a almost daily basis.

When I was a kid I would go nonverbal when I was upset or hurt by my parents. They would beg me to speak to them or yell at me for not talking. I couldn’t find the words I needed to say. I couldn’t speak for myself. I would just stare at a wall, crying, my mind racing a million miles an hour.

I have been so completely exhausted since my big weekend. Engagement party on Friday and a short friend hang out Saturday. It was too much at once. I fell asleep at 9 last night and didn’t wake up until 10 today. Even after all that sleep I am just completely exhausted. On the verge of tears tired. My partner wanted to have sex today but I can’t because of the exhaustion in my body and mind. I can’t do more than like one social thing a week without needing days to recover.

I think I stim but maybe I’m making it up. My stimming looks different than what I’ve seen. I always have a song playing in my head that my toes have to follow the rhythm of almost all the time. One of my friends can’t be around me when my toes are “wiggling” because the feeling of the movement bothers her lol. Sometimes I have to rap my fingernails in a rhythmic way to be able to focus or tap out the energy. Especially when I’m in stressful situations. When I’m overwhelmed often I shake the feelings out with my hands until the bad feelings lessen. I have a vocal tic that is diagnosed but I don’t think that’s the same thing. When I’m alone and overwhelmed humming to myself helps. People get annoyed so I try not to do it in front of others if I can.

I have been hurting myself and it’s really really hard to stop. I pick my fingers constantly. I’m biting my skin and nails to point of blood and pain. I have been picking my toes as well as biting the inside of my mouth. I don’t just do it when I’m anxious. I just do it all the time. Any strong feeling makes me want to pick. Happy, sad, anxious, mad, hungry—I want to pick. Whatever I pick has to be “even” on the other side of my hand/foot so if it isn’t I’ll fix it. I just want to stop.

There’s many other reasons I think I may be on the spectrum but I just don’t feel like going on and on.

I don’t want to get a diagnosis because I’m worried to lose the opportunity to escape the United States if I need to. If I wanted to live in Canada for example I don’t think I could get citizenship with a diagnosis. At the same time, my quality of life might get better if I could get work accommodations in the US and be able to have a reason for the way I am. Not saying autism is a negative thing. I don’t want anyone to think I’m saying it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying I wish I know if I was really on the spectrum or if I’m just allistic and can’t handle things as well as other allistics.

I don’t know. I just needed to vent. I just feel stuck. I need to find a therapist but I am so broke that I can’t afford therapy even with Medicaid.

#journal #diary #diary posting #blog #blogging #mental health #self diagnosis #self diagnosed autism #am i autistic? #tick disorder

[favefandomimagines]

Fools Gold (r.c.)

Summary: how much are you worth to rafe and his friends?

AN: sorry the new obx pics that were posted inspired me to write an angsty af rafe fic also thinking about doing this same concept with JJ.

again, the rafe i write is not canon. he’s just a dick most of the time.

You weren’t friends with Rafe Cameron. There wasn’t any parallel universe where the two of you would be friends.

He despised you because you chose a life with the Pogues over a life with the Kooks. But he didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with Kie as he had with you.

You couldn’t figure out why he disliked you more than anyone on the island. You figured it had to do with the fact that he didn’t like the fact that everyone knew he slept with a Pogue.

Once upon a time, you lost your virginity to Rafe. After realizing how he acted towards you, you didn’t really know why. But at the time, you felt safe with him. Better him than some random tourist at a party.

But after you and Kie made the grand transition from Kook to Pogue, he never spoke to you again. And when he did, would he some mean and snarky comment that you tried not to let get to you. But a person can only take so much before the words start to stick.

—

You were at a Boneyard party with your friends, you and Kie talking about the upcoming beach cleanup the two of you were planning. You were minding your own business but you could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Dude, $500 you can’t get Y/N to go out with you and stay with her for 6 months.” Topper bet the older boy. “$500? That’s it? To get Y/N to go out with me?” Rafe laughed. “Yeah, it should be an easy $500 right?” Topper asked.

Rafe thought about it for a moment, deciding if he was really that bad of a person to lead you on like that. He didn’t really hate you as much as he said. He was just hurt that you felt he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

“It’s a bet. $500 in 6 months.” Rafe finally said. The two Kooks shook hands and Rafe’s fixation landed on you.

You were standing with Kiara by the fire, drinking your hand, clearly talking about something you were passionate about. Rafe noticed that whenever you talked about something you loved, you talked with your hands ten times more than you did normally.

He assumed you were talking about the ocean or something like that with how big your smile was.

Rafe then put on his asshole Kook facade and began to approach you. “Hey, Y/L/N!” He called. You took one look at him and instantly rolled your eyes.

“Can we help you?” Kie asked him. “I need to talk to Y/N. Alone if that’s not a problem with you.” Rafe sassed the girl. Kie looked at you, almost a nonverbal way of asking if you’d be okay alone.

You gave her a small nod and she reluctantly walked away. “What do you want, Rafe?” You sighed. “Go out with me.” He said. “What?” You questioned. “Go out with me. We can go somewhere on the mainland or somewhere local. Wherever you like.” He explained.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before you realized he wasn’t joking. “You’re serious?” You asked. “Yeah, I’m serious.” Rafe answered. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you want to go out with me after you’ve treated me.” You said.

“I was a dick. I’ll make it up to you. Just give me a chance.” Rafe replied. You looked at him for a moment, being very wary about the whole offer. “Okay. One date and if I even so much as a sense a stupid practical joke, I’m out.” You finally said.

Rafe smiled down at you before slowly backing up. “Great. I’ll pick you up, Friday at 6.” He said.

You had no idea what just happened. Rafe Cameron asked you out? And he actually seemed to mean it?

And to say the date went well was a total understatement for both you and Rafe. You both had an amazing time together, exploring the mainland and not having to worry about the Kook v. Pogue prejudice.

In the 6 months Rafe had been with you, he soon realized there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about you. He loved how you would dance around to your indie and alternative music as if no one was watching.

How you dragged him to the beach to watch the baby turtle eggs hatch. Even though he said he didn’t want to, he’d go anywhere if you asked.

Rafe also loved how you loved life in general. You didn’t care about the class system on the Outer Banks, you just cared about the people you loved. Your dad, your brother, the Pogues, and now Rafe.

Which made him feel even worse about the bet. It was nearing 6 months and Rafe knew he couldn’t just end it with you. He knew how that would hurt you. So he called Topper and asked him to call the whole thing off.

“Maybe we should just end the whole thing. You can have your money and we can call it off.” Rafe said over the phone.

“You aren’t going soft are me now are you?” Topper mocked. “No, I’m just saying this bet is stupid. It’s too easy now.” Rafe lied. “I’ll double it. $1,000 if you can make it to 6 months with Y/N.” Topper said.

Rafe hadn’t known you were going to come over so early so he thought he had time to talk to Topper. But you were standing out in the hallway in front of his door, listening to the whole thing.

“Wow, $1,000. Only an idiot would turn that down.” You sneered. Rafe turned around with wide eyes before quickly hanging up the phone. “H-How much did you hear?” He asked. “All of it.” You answered. “So you asking me out that night was a stupid bet? And our entire relationship has been a lie?” You asked, your voice raising.

“No, Y/N, let me explain.” Rafe pleaded. “Why should I? I think you and Topper explained everything perfectly. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I’ve just been a huge joke you and your friends could laugh about.” You said.

Rafe began to walk towards you but you talking a couple steps back made it very clear you didn’t want him coming near you.

“We’re done, Rafe. I hope you enjoy the money.” You said sadly before you left his bedroom. When you walked into the hall, you saw Sarah standing a little ways away, but you knew she heard everything. “Did you know?” You asked her. “Of course not. I had no idea he was doing this for money.” She answered.

“Everything was a lie. I-I really thought he cared about me.” You spoke quietly, the tears welling up in yours eyes.

Sarah frowned and pulled you into a warm embrace. She couldn’t help but feel guilty since it was her brother who was causing you so much pain. “I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but I think Im just gonna head home.” You said.

She didn’t want you driving home in the state you were in but she also knew that you being alone was what was best for you.

When you arrived home, you avoided your father’s questions like they were the plague and made a b-line for your bedroom. But even then you couldn’t escape Rafe’s presence because everything reminded you of him. 

For weeks after you are Rafe broke up, you were a bit different. You didn’t really feel like yourself because you didn’t know what was real anymore. Finding out about the bet made you question everything and your self esteem took a pretty big hit. 

But you were good at faking it for the most part. You still hung out with the Pogues as if nothing was wrong.You went out to Boneyard parties, hung out with Kie, surfed with JJ, went shopping with Sarah. But you could only pretend so much. 

You were sitting on your surfboard in the water, JJ floating next to you as you two waited for a wave. 

“JJ, can I tell you something?” You asked him. “Of course, Y/N.” He said. “Rafe and I broke up. Apparently I was nothing but a cash grab for him.” You confessed. “What? What do you mean, cash grab?” He asked. “I was just a bet. Apparently Topper bet him $500 to go out with me and make it 6 months. I guess he was calling Topper to call off the bet but he offered him $1,000. I haven’t told anyone, only Sarah knows.” You explained. 

“You know he’s a moron, right? You’re not even worth $500, you’re priceless, Y/N and don’t let Rafe and his dickhead friends make you think any differently.” JJ said. 

You could tell that telling him the truth really riled him up but he never fought with Rafe for the sake of you. Your friendship was more important than wanting to knock Rafe flat on his ass.

“What are you going to do?” JJ asked. “I don’t know. I’m having a very hard time believing he faked everything the past 6 months but Rafe is pretty convincing when he wants to be. But am I really that stupid to think he actually cared about me?” You answered. 

“No, that doesn’t make you stupid. And what I’m about to say I will never admit to saying but what if Rafe actually did care about you? I mean, everyone knows his dad is always on his ass about money and he was going to turn it down for you.” JJ said. 

You sat quietly for a moment, watching the stillness of the water before looking back to JJ. “Are you saying I should talk to him?” You asked. “I’m saying maybe you owe yourself that much.” He answered. “Since when the hell did you become so insightful? Usually you’d tell me to beat him up or smash his car.” You laughed. 

“Well, this time I just want you to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, he made you very happy.” JJ said. “I really don’t like it when you’re right.” You muttered. 

After a couple more minutes, you and JJ headed back to the beach and when you got there, Rafe was standing on the sand a few feet away from the shore line. 

You slowed your pace slightly as you made eye contact with him. You readjusted your grip on your board as you and JJ kept walking. “Y/N, hey, can I talk to you?” Rafe asked uncomfortably. 

You and JJ had never seen Rafe look less confident before until that moment. “JJ, I’ll meet you back at the Chateau.” You told the blonde. JJ nodded his head but not before giving Rafe a suspecting look as he walked away. 

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve never taken that stupid bet in the first place. I-I guess I was holding a grudge against you before.” He said. “For what? I never did anything to you, Rafe.” You asked. “You left me. You chose the Pogues and the Cut over me. We were always friends before and then you and Kiara just decided it wasn’t good enough anymore. That I wasn’t good enough.” He explained. 

“I didn’t choose the Pogues because of you, Rafe, or over you. Figure 8 is toxic and everyone we used to hang out with was terrible and I couldn’t do that anymore. You were the one who froze me out after we slept together. Let’s not also forget that you faked our entire relationship.” You rebutted. 

“No, no, Y/N, I didn’t fake anything. Everything we had was real. You have no idea how it easy was to fall for you because you are amazing and I-I messed it up. I hurt you and I know it’s not going to make it better, but I’m sorry.” Rafe said. 

You pushed your board into the sand before sitting down in front of it and motioned for Rafe to do the same. 

“I was falling in love with you, Rafe. So to hear you and Topper just use me for your own sick enjoyment, broke my heart.” You started. “I defended you to everyone to just find out that they were right.” You finished. “You said ‘was.’ Like past tense.” Rafe spoke quietly. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stared at the sunset. “I wish we could just move on, forget it ever happened but I don’t think we can.” You said. 

Rafe’s body stiffened and he hung his head low, not liking where the conversation was going.

“But, we can start over. Clean slate.” You added. The boy looked up at you, almost as if he thought you were kidding. “Really?” He asked. “Yeah, really. But, on a few conditions.” You said. “Anything, I will do anything.” He said. “You leave my friends alone. He’s going to kill me for saying this but JJ was actually the one who told me we should talk so you kind of owe him. Second, you let me punch Topper, very very hard.” You told him. 

Rafe laughed lightly at your words as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” He said. “Also, give me your phone.” You said. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you. 

He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing as you opened the Venmo app. 

You pressed ‘pay and request’ and put Topper’s user name in. 

@TopperThornton: Pay $1,000 

Summary: congrats, i lost the bet. Y/N is worth so much more. she’s also gonna kick your ass 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Rafe commented. You hummed in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Rafe pressed a light kiss on your forehead as the two of you watched the sunset together. 

#Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #jj maybank #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #sarah cameron #topper thornton #imagine

[baekhansol]

N.D.A | f.l

ℕ𝕠𝕟 𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝔸𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥 (ℕ.𝔻.𝔸.) noun

a contract by which one or more parties agree not to disclose confidential information that they have shared with each other as a necessary part of doing business together.

Happy Birthday, Felix Lee!

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : fluff!

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 : mature

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : best friend Felix x gn + nonverbal reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : reader is nonverbal, JYP is an asshole, wanting to lie about having been eating well, food/eating, mentions of wearing masks, I think that's it ?

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 : Felix has always been your best friend, and takes care of you when you can't

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : this was beta read by the lovely Dee Dee over at @sugasbabiie . Her notes and edits were wonderful as always 💜

this is also a friendly reminder that my blog contains nsfw elements, so do not follow me if you are a minor.

At one simple glance into your eyes, once allowing yourself a moment of vulnerability with your best friend, Felix knew what a terrible day you must have had. He immediately pulls you into a warm hug, pausing in case he meets resistance before squeezing you and holding you tightly.

"Have you eaten well?" He softly asks you, playing with your hair as he sways you back and forth.

You wanted to lie and say yes. You really did. But you couldn't get yourself to respond that way, so instead, you shake your head no.

"I'll make something then," he says simply, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

Felix finds tears welling up in your eyes, so he cups your cheek with one hand. "Have you taken your meds?" He checks.

When you nod, his expression gives away a brief flash of relief before turning back to genuine concern.

"Good. Why don't you go put your pajamas on and start getting ready for bed then, hmm?" He suggests, smiling sweetly.

You hesitate, considering saying no. You rack your brain, but the fog from your mental state makes the task difficult. You were fairly certain you'd never been braless around Felix before, but at the same time, you really didn't want to wear one.

"It's okay, y/n," he softly assures you.

Looking into his eyes, you remind yourself he has sisters. So you nod as a soft whimper accidentally escapes you.

You retreat to the bathroom, scrubbing your face harshly as you wash it. You try to get rid of the self-hatred and body insecurities that consumed your entire body, but particularly your face. Of course, it didn't help.

A whine of irritation escapes you before you apply the rest of your skincare. Afterwards, you slowly shuffle to your bedroom. You stare at what pajamas you have clean (which isn't much) and end up in a long sleeved shirt to hide your arms and pajama shorts. You made sure the pair wasn't too free flowing, as you didn't want to flash Felix by some weird accident since you didn't wear underwear to bed.

You slowly shuffle out to the kitchen, finding Felix at the stove throwing something together. Padding closer, you notice him making ramen. You ask him what he is doing with a soft “Hm?”

He gestures for you to come closer before speaking, “You had some ramen, so I’m making it with eggs. And now I’m adding in vegetables, see?”

When you nod, he smiles. “Do you want to grab a bowl for yourself? I already ate,” Felix assures you.

You nod and timidly get yourself a bowl and chopsticks, your hands unsteady. You manage to set down the bowl without dropping it, and Felix notices your lack of stability.

He moves from the stove, getting a plastic cup with a lid and straw, pouring you a cup of water before getting himself a glass. Felix sets it at the table before returning to the stove, getting your ramen together in your bowl. “Will you sit down, Y/N?” he asks gently.

You nod and sit, sipping your water and swinging your legs. Felix soon places the bowl in front of you, and you begin to eat slowly. He sits next to you after getting a napkin, watching you to ensure you don't eat too quickly.

Following “Dr. Lee’s” orders, you finish the entire bowl of ramen. Once done, he inquires, “Go brush your teeth, okay? Do you need to take your night meds?”

You pout but nod, getting up and taking the cup of water with you. You take your medicine before slowly brushing your teeth, trying not to let the sensation overwhelm you. When you finally finish, you pad back out to find Felix, who was currently cleaning the dishes.

You huff at him, upset that he was doing them for you. He wasn’t just doing the ones he cooked with, but even the ones you had left in the sink.

He says nothing but smiles when you hug him from behind and bury your face into his shirt. When he finishes and dries his hands, you drag him to the bathroom and get out a spare toothbrush, silently offering him to stay overnight.

“Go lay in bed; I’ll come and join you soon,” he says. When you nod, he takes the toothbrush and gets himself ready for bed.

You lay in bed playing games on your phone, curling up under your sheets. Felix soon comes back, grabbing a book off your bookshelf. He sets his phone on your bedside table, placing his there as well. Felix sits on your bed, leaning against the wall and spreading his legs.

“Come here,” he suggests, patting the spot between his legs.

You hesitate before sitting up, moving to sit in his lap, resting against his chest. He opens the book in front of you, making you giggle when you realize what it is.

“Didn’t your mom buy you this?” he asks, kissing your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder. You nod as he opens the book. “I still can’t believe she knew it was a Star Wars storybook and didn’t think it was a children’s book,” he laughs.

A little giggle escapes you, and Felix beams. He begins to read, his gentle voice helping to lull you to sleep. When he finishes the book, he helps you lay down and tuck you in. He puts the book back and turns off the light, smiling at the soft whine escaping you.

You wiggle a little, subconsciously craving his hold. "Lixie?" You manage to murmur, not even realizing it was your first words since he came over. But he knew.

"I’m here," he assures you, climbing into bed with you and spooning you. Felix wraps his arm loosely around your waist, handing you one of your stuffies to cuddle. "This okay?" He checks with you.

You nod, relaxing into him and falling back asleep.

"I love you," Felix says lowly, and you can't quite tell if you were dreaming or not. You two had said that you love each other plenty of times before, but this time seemed different.

You wake up in the morning alone and immediately begin to panic.

"Felix?" You cry out, stumbling out of bed.

You're quick to find him in the kitchen and nearly cry out of relief.

"I didn't leave; I'm just making breakfast," he assures you, setting down the spatula and hugging you close.

When you pull away, he looks at you intently, a smile creeping onto his face. "Good morning, sweetheart," Felix says, causing you to blush.

"Morning," you manage, glancing down.

"Go take your medicine. And don't worry about being nonverbal or not, okay?" Felix says.

You tried not to go nonverbal around others, but you had mentioned your frustration to Felix before. People, especially your parents, always ended up forcing you into talking. It made you uncomfortable and took up extra energy, exhausting you quicker. Felix was rather understanding at the time, but you were always afraid to be around him while nonverbal due to the struggle of communicating. But at the moment, it was going surprisingly well. You figure it's his patience and caring nature.

You go and do as he says, briefly wondering why he was telling you what to do and why you found it so easy to listen. You shrug and come back out, sitting at the table as Felix places a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.

"Eat up, please," he says, joining you with a plate of his own.

You begin to eat, letting out a happy hum as you do.

Felix’s smile grows before he clears his throat. "I have to go into the studio today, but I'm not comfortable leaving you alone, even if I take all of your sharp objects," he admits, his expression turning serious.

You look intently at your plate, finding the yellow of the eggs to be a lovely color suddenly.

"Will you come to the studio with me? You can stay somewhere quiet and read for homework, if you'd like," Felix offers, watching closely for your reaction.

You'd never gone to the studio before. There had been times where Felix had said it would be okay, but you never had the chance. You wanted to, but you were worried about saesangs, getting Felix in trouble, starting a scandal… you had, and have, a lot of anxiety around it.

You hesitate before nodding slightly, causing Felix to grin in absolute delight.

"Okay! Great! And the second thing is… can I borrow clothes? I know you sometimes wear boxers to bed, and I just need a clean shirt and sweats…" Felix asks, and this time it was his turn to blush.

You laugh a little and nod, hoping your clothes would fit him.

"Great! Then after we get ready, I'll drive us there," he decides, smiling to make sure it was okay with you.

You nod in agreement, giving him a sense of relief.

You go use the bathroom, relieved that he didn't get up and leave without saying goodbye, or that the whole thing was a dream or strange hallucination. You take your medicine before going back to the kitchen, sitting at the table where Felix had already begun to eat.

You hum softly as you eat, letting him know to the best of your ability that you appreciate his actions.

Once you finish your plate, you bring them to the kitchen sink and wash them. You go to pick up the pan, but you can tell it’s too hot to wash. You leave it aside to cool down, drying your dishes as Felix washes his own.

After drying your hands as well, you head to your room with Felix to get ready for the day.

Felix helps you make your bed, but you manage to do most of it yourself so it was made the way you like it. You sit down and hug one of your pillows, watching as Felix goes through your clothes and picks something out to wear. He ends up picking out your clothes as well, getting you a soft shirt, your favorite pants, and a hoodie that he could have sworn belonged to him at one time.

He opens your underwear drawer before you can stop him, a noise of distraught escaping you. Felix ignores it just as he ignores your sex toys and lubricant, finding a pair of boxers for himself and a soft, simple pair of cotton panties for you along with a wireless bra.

Felix shuts the drawer and sets what he chose for you on the bed, the soft blush adorning his cheeks visible.

"I'll change in the bathroom, ok?" He states, gathering his borrowed clothes and shutting the door behind him.

In shock, you stare at the door for a moment before managing to get yourself dressed and tossing your dirty clothes in the hamper. You get up and head to the bathroom, greeted with an open door. Felix had already changed and was borrowing your hairbrush.

"Sorry," he apologizes, somewhat sheepishly.

You shake your head and dismiss it with a wave of your hand, silently letting him know you didn't mind.

"Turn around," he says.

You give him a confused look but turn around regardless, watching his reflection in the mirror. Felix runs the brush through your hair, careful about your ears. He sets the brush down and runs his fingers through your hair, braiding it. Felix then ties it off with a hair tie, beaming in pride at his creation.

You give him an appreciative smile before he asks, "are you ready?"

You shake your head, pulling out your makeup.

"You know you don't have to," he begins.

You shake your head more stubbornly, crossing your arms with a huff before you point to your concealer. Felix chuckles, and much to your surprise, he begins to do your makeup. You turn to lean against the sink, watching as he concentrates on doing your makeup. His soft breath fans over your cheeks, and you were secretly glad you gave him a toothbrush.

Felix doesn't take long, giving you only base makeup. He does your eye makeup very simply, looking through your lip products before choosing the one he wants for you. Felix applies the glossy tint, his concentration on your lips causing you to blush.

"There," he softly murmurs, stepping back for you to look in the mirror as he pockets the lip tint.

You beam at him, turning and hugging him. He gently rubs your back before leading you to the door.

"Ugh, socks!" He remembers, turning back and heading to your bedroom.

You laugh and go to the kitchen, somehow managing to start cleaning the dishes. Felix comes back and looks confused, only to realize what you were doing. He helps by drying the dishes, watching as you tie up the trash.

"Eggs," you say pointedly.

"Good idea," he hums, going and putting on his shoes.

You notice he grabbed your backpack and keys, so you put your own shoes on.

As you throw out the trash, Felix goes and starts your car. You soon join him, using the hand sanitizer you carry for situations like this.

Felix turns on soft music, driving to the company after ensuring you were both wearing your seatbelts.

Once he parks, he grabs masks from his bag for you both. Felix puts his on before going to the passenger side door and helping you with yours. He slings your backpack over his shoulder, locking your car before leading you inside. You don’t notice Felix’s fingers twitching, but you did wish you were holding hands. Even in your sensitive state, you knew holding hands here and to the JYP building was not a good idea, as the possibility of saesangs taking a photo and starting drama was too high for either of your likings.

Once inside, security tries to stop you. “It’s okay, they’re with me,” he assures the guard, taking your hand as he shows them his ID.

The security guard stares you down before nodding and taking both of your temperatures. The guard stands to the side, letting Felix take you to the elevator and towards their practice room. He doesn’t let go of your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

Once off the elevator, another security member is about to stop you before they notice Felix holding your hand. “Excuse us,” he says, leading you around them. Their puzzled expression doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you were glad they didn’t try to stop you.

He stops outside a room, pointing to it. “This is Channie hyung’s room, okay? If you need to go there for somewhere quieter, he won’t mind,” Felix explains, quickly pulling out his phone to check something. “Then we are practicing in this room today,” he says, leading you to a different door and opening it.

It was loud, as some of the others were stretching, talking, and dancing. Hyunjin smiles and waves as soon as he notices you, while most of the others shout their greetings. Changbin runs over and is about to hug you, but Felix stands in front of you, since Changbin was prone to hugging without asking.

“Do you want a hug?” Felix asks you, wanting you to be comfortable.

You hesitate before nodding, stepping around Felix and hugging Changbin. Changbin picks you up and spins you around, giggles escaping you.

“How are you? I can’t believe you came!” Changbin cheers as he sets you down, a grin on his face.

You step back into Felix, who gently holds your shoulders as you lose your balance. You look up at him, worry clouding your features.

“Y/N is… having some trouble talking right now. So, simple yes or no questions work best for them,” Felix explains, squeezing your shoulders reassuringly before letting you go.

“Oh, okay,” Changbin says, nodding despite not clearly understanding. “Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know,” he adds, smiling.

You shrug a little, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“They don’t normally leave home when it happens. They generally are stressed and overwhelmed, so it helps them cope and is easier just to let them… communicate in other ways,” Felix further explains, moving to stand next to you and resting his hand on your back.

When you tense up, he withdraws his hand, but you stop him by grabbing his arm and shaking your head. Felix gently rubs soothing circles on your back as you accommodate yourself with the new space.

Chan comes over at the same time, smiling brightly. “It happens normally to neurodivergent people, right? Especially autistic ones?” Chan asks, looking at you for confirmation. You nod, and he continues. “Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?” he asks. When you nod a second time, Chan places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes lightly. “I’m happy you came! If you need a break, you can go to my studio room, okay? Did Felix show you where it is?”

You nod, glancing at Felix.

“Okay, good! Today might not be the best day though,” he admits, looking to Felix.

“What do you mean by that?” Felix asks, rubbing your back.

Chan removes his hand from your shoulder and says in a hushed voice, “JYP is supposed to come to practice today.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Felix responds with a tight lipped smile.

Once Felix makes sure you are comfortable sitting down, he produces earplugs from his pocket (you have no idea where or how he got them), and sets them in the palm of your hand. “In case it gets too loud,” he murmurs, smiling.

He straightens up as the choreographer enters the room, who they greet and thank. They soon start practicing, and you find yourself carefully stuffing the earplugs in your ears. You watch them in awe, looking at each of them practicing the new moves. Your eyes always come back to Felix, and you soon find yourself grinning like a fool. The song was amazing, and you wrote a note down in your phone to tell Chan, Changbin, and Jisung later on.

Right as they start a break, JYP himself comes into the room. You look up from your phone, the blood draining from your face as you try to meet Felix’s eyes. They immediately turn around and greet him, bowing and thanking him for his time.

“Show me what you have so far,” JYP says, heading towards you, standing in front of the mirror. That’s when he notices you. His eyes narrow and he walks over to you, and you immediately bow in greeting.

You feel the anxiety bubbling in your chest, threatening to overwhelm you as your breathing becomes irregular.

“You’re not an intern. Who are you?” he inquires, resting his hands on his hips.

You gape up at him, but thankfully Felix is quick to come to your aid.

“Sorry, JYP! This is my partner, Y/N. They can’t talk right now, since their doctor has their voice on rest-” Felix begins, only to be interrupted. Your eyes widen in shock as he introduces you as his partner, quickly trying to hide your surprise as he lies for you.

“So they’re sick? They shouldn’t be here then!” JYP demands, his face reddening in anger.

“No! They just aren’t supposed to talk because they had vocal chord surgery, that’s all!” he explains, doing his best to pull the lie.

Felix’s words seem to console and calm JYP, who huffs.

“Someone’s going to have to give them a non-disclosure agreement then,” he huffs, looking at the staff as if to tell them they needed to. “I will have a conversation with you later, Yongbok,” JYP sneers.

You knew Felix was in for it, but he gives you a charming smile before starting to practice.

You notice JYP’s glare every now and then, so when they take a break you make a beeline for the door, heading to Chan’s studio room and sending Felix a text with an explanation. You’re so caught up in remaining calm and composed that you almost bump into who turns out to be Mina from Twice.

Your eyes widen and you apologize, bowing and managing to say a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Once in Chan’s studio room, you move his chair and curl up under his desk. You put the hood of your hoodie over your head, doing some deep breathing. You take out the earplugs and put them in your pocket before turning on some soft, soothing music.

You close your eyes and don’t realize you had fallen asleep until Felix comes in the room, calling your name. Before he panics, he notices you under the desk. He bends down and offers you his hand, saying, “C’mon, you must be uncomfortable.”

You take it and he helps you stand up, your back popping as you do so.

“Are you hungry? It’s been a while since breakfast, and we all stopped and had lunch,” he explains, gently letting go of your hand.

You shove the hood off of your head, grabbing his forearms. “Did you mean what you said?” you ask, your eyes wide as your cheeks flush.

“What I said?” he asks, perplexed.

You stare at him for a moment before blurting, “You called me your partner…”

“Oh,” Felix says, his voice small. “About that…” he begins, subtly checking his pulse before rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable…”

“Do you want me to be your partner?” you bluntly rephrase.

Felix’s cheeks turn pinker and pinker as he nods ever so slightly. “I’ve thought about asking you before, but never did. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way, and you’re my best friend…” he murmurs.

“Well…” you shyly begin. “You’re patient, caring, and help me when I go nonverbal. You’re understanding of my space and sometimes I swear you know me better than myself. You’re… Well, pretty much everything I want in a boyfriend…”

“Really?” Felix asks, surprised at your admission.

“Yeah…” you murmur with a nod, glancing downwards as you loosen your grip on his arms. You look back up and bite your lip before shyly asking, “Will you kiss me?”

Felix blinks, but smiles before pulling down both of your masks and giving you a soft kiss on your lips. You whine softly, so he cups your cheek and kisses you again.

After he pulls away, he smiles and giggles, “So about that non disclosure agreement…”

#kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #kpopficsnetwork #ultkpopnetwork #felix fluff #lee felix fluff #felix lee fluf #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #felix #happy birthday felix #lee felix #felix lee #yongbok fluff #best friends to lovers #f2l trope #felix f2l #skz f2l

[ihathbenobiwankenobied]

THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF SURVIVING A SNOWSTORM IN AN ABANDONED CABIN - CODYWAN

After a snowstorm strands Obi-Wan and Cody on Hoth, the pair are forced to spend their days waiting for rescue in a small cabin.

Chapter 3/3

Read on Ao3 as well

“I am… I’m attracted to you… but I shouldn’t be.” Obi-Wan could have guessed the words before they had the chance to leave Cody’s mouth. The clone stood at near attention with his arms folded behind his back. Cody still looked worried, if not scared for his life. Hidden behind his expressionless face and wide eyes was truth: Cody was attracted to him.

Obi-Wan was no stranger to attraction, he had felt it many years before. He recognized that looks could be appealing, but it was unusual that the mere thought of attraction grew into something more, something that simmered deep in his chest like it did now. He had recognized Cody’s physical attractiveness immediately upon meeting him, but he had never been faced with such a constant, growing desire for another person’s affections. “I feel the same.” He said almost breathlessly and chanced a look at Cody’s face.

The Commander’s initial nonverbal relief quickly changed into a look that resided  somewhere between shocked and upset, almost as if he might begin to rant about the ridiculousness of the entire situation. 

“You cannot be serious. Sir, this is not something to joke about.” Cody stammered. Obi-Wan agreed with him, it was not a joke, and that was the only reason he had said it in the first place.

“Cody… I cannot explain it. It is not a jo-” 

“We have to forget this happened, Sir.” Cody interrupted and backed away from Obi-Wan. He stumbled over a chair at the table and steadied himself before sitting down at the table. He stared into the old wood of the table. “We can’t– this won’t work. I won’t allow it.” 

Obi-Wan considered Cody’s point and immediately realized it to be true. There would never be a way to properly allow for a relationship. Obi-Wan had commitments to the Order, commitments that he had broken before when he was young and foolish. Loving Satine had only been a mistake when she rejected his offer to leave the Order; only once his heart had been shattered into thousands of sharp pieces was he awakened to the idea that affection, and love in return, meant pain.

“I know it won’t work, Cody. I didn’t mean to suggest-” He tried to explain, tried to cover for the fact that he had just put Cody in an even more compromising position. He should have said that he was not attracted to the Commander. It was unfair for Cody’s life to hang in the balance for a relationship that would not do the same for Obi-Wan. At most, Obi-Wan would be relieved of his duties to the order.

“General, I won’t take any suggestions on this. You know as well as I do the consequences.” Cody paused. “What were you doing out there in the cold anyway? Your clothes are still damp.” Cody changed the subject so quickly that Obi-Wan barely had enough time to swallow his feelings and patter over towards the fire.

“We don’t have much left to eat, particularly protein. I figured there must be some type of meat on this planet.”

“You’ll die of hypothermia before we even get to the point of starvation.” Cody lamented and gestured at Obi-Wan’s clothes. “Take those off and get back in the bed. I’ll go out and look for food. Maybe I’ll find some firewood if I am lucky.” It was a dismissal, Obi-Wan was not daft. The words were bitten out from behind grinding teeth. Cody wanted to leave and find something else to think about; he wanted to forget. Obi-Wan supposed he could accept it.

Shivers wracked through his form as he watched Cody adjust his helmet and grab the pack from where it still sat drying byt the fire. “I won’t be long.” He said over his own shoulder and left Obi-Wan in the silence of the cabin with the slam of the cabin door. 

Well kriff. 

The firewood was dwindling, Obi-Wan could see that only one shopped piece of wood laid in it’s container on the hearth. I’ll stoke the fire soon, see if I can keep it alive. 

Obi-Wan began to strip off his still damp layers as his body shivered relentlessly. He had, of course, entertained the fleeting thought that maybe wearing his damp clothes into the bitter cold was not such a great idea, but he was not about to let them starve. Anakin was days away, at best, and Obi-Wan would not and could not let Cody starve. While the Force would sustain him for longer, Cody didn’t have such a privilege. 

The shivers remained, even as he sunk under the covers. Sleep would help, he was sure of it.

…………………...

Cody had slammed the door behind himself when he left, anger and frustration pulling at his consciousness sourly. His own feelings for Obi-Wan be damned, he was not about to let the General throw away his vows, his commitment to the Order. Shame leaked over him with the intensity of rainfall in a storm; he had broken his own commitments too. 

Attraction was not the real problem. Kriff, most of his brothers had expressed their feelings of attraction to all of the new faces they came to know while serving in the GAR, but none of them acted upon it. Unlike Cody, they were smart and committed to their roles; they were soldiers first and foremost. 

He walked through the thick snow for several minutes before realizing that the snowfall was beginning to thin. Trees were almost visible where they hung in the shadow of the light snowfall and Cody could even make out the mountain that towered in the distance. It was refreshing to see something other than white.

He silently reminded himself that maybe, just maybe, Obi-Wan’s surviving commlink would work upon his return to the shoddy cabin. It was more of a hope than a possibility, however, His first order of business, however, was finding something to eat. The least he could do at this point was return Obi-Wan home unscathed and with a full stomach.

He walked farther out into the snow filled distance, even as the cabin sunk behind the curtain of gentle snowfall. He dragged his feet through the snow and began to understand what a truly impeccable favor the General had done for him; his knee felt practically brand new and unscathed.

Suddenly, his feet kicked at something hard on the ground, something that stuck up from the ground like a large rock. However, as he began to trace his eyes over the large object, a little trickle of something red teased at his vision. Blood. Kneeling in the fresh snow, Cody dug his hand into it and pushed the snow off to the sides. Fur appeared after a moment, and Cody’s sigh of relief flooded through his helmet just a second afterward. “Thank the fucking Force.” Cody murmured and removed the sheathed knife from where it clung to his thigh. “Time for a real meal.”

………………...

Blood covered and happy to return to the slightly warm comfort of the cabin, Cody felt a pang of dread burn through his stomach. Although he had been frank with Obi-Wan, he considered that he might have been a bit… harsh. Obi-Wan was not stupid, he knew the rules as well as Cody did. Clones were meant to die for the GAR, and Jedi were meant to die for the Order. There was not much room left for romantic affairs. 

He planned his apology in his head, whispers of words ghosting over his lips as he neared the crumbling cabin door. I’m truly sorry Sir for this misunderstanding. It will never happen again. It was my fault, I should not have kissed you. I should not have left that way either.

He pried open the door with the words already stirring and was surprised to find that Obi-Wan had done exactly what he was told. Covers were arranged over the top of Obi-Wan’s reclined form and Cody could hear little shuddering breaths spreading through the room. He should have been happy that the General was finally listening to his expertise, but something felt off. 

Was there something lurking in the shadows of the cabin? An unexpected Separatist guest? A quick glance around the room with a hand hovering over his blaster led him to an unforeseen conclusion: the fire was dead. Kriff. It had been dead for some time, it appeared. The coals were not even smoking anymore. Cody noticed the one piece of wood that was left on the hearth and shook his head softly. Even that probably would not have been enough to sustain the fire while he was gone. 

Cody tried to calculate how long he had been gone, panic rushing unpleasantly through his veins as he dropped the firewood he’s collected on the hearth and discarded his pack nonchalantly. Who cared if the blood of dead tauntaun splattered across the floor.

His knees collided with the rickety floor as he kneeled at the bedside. Obi-Wan’s face had once been flushed with warmth, but now his skin was white and cold. Cody could feel Obi-Wan’s trembles through the tips of his fingers as he pressed his fingers against the Jedi’s cheeks. The onset of hypothermia. 

Fingers reaching to press against Obi-Wan’s exposed neck, Cody could feel the sluggish pulse thrumming against him. It was too slow, and breath somehow seemed to come even slower. The panic that had washed over him the minute he noticed the dead fire continued to paralyze him. Stuck between wanting to try and resurrect the fire and try to contact Skywalker, Cody froze. The man he had angrily walked out on, the man he wanted to be with, now looked like a frozen corpse. 

“Obi-Wan!” He called, desperation raining over his tone as he grasped at Obi-Wan’s care shoulder and began to shake him. The man moaned once, cracked lips barely opening and eyes blinking so slowly that Cody almost missed him opening them to begin with. “Please wake up, please.” He begged.

“A-Anakin?” A small hoarse voice emerged. Obi-Wan blinked up at him, eyes vacant of recognition and skin pale as a ghost.

“No… no it’s Cody.” Cody held his breath as Obi-Wan shook violently while trying to sit up. He peered around the room at his surroundings with unusual curiosity while his eyes barely remained open. 

It was bad, very bad, for Obi-Wan to be so perplexed. 

“Erm… where…?” He looked at Cody though hooded eyes. He barely looked coherent as his eyes flitted over the contents of the cabin. “Where are we?” He asked so innocently, groggy eyes staring into Cody’s own panicked ones. Confusion, delirium. Each box was being ticked off; time was becoming limited. 

Cody fumbled with the commlink where it was strewn on the floor and brought it to his lips. The snow had slowed to a gentle thrum now, the connection had to go through, it just had to. Desperation laced his voice as he spouted out, “General Skywalker, anyone, come in.” He waited for a beat, breath stuck in his chest. He was about to throw the commlink across the floor, curse it out for its uselessness, when a crackle came from the small device. 

“–lo?” The end of a word emerged from the commlink and it sounded distinctly Skywalker. 

“Hello? This is Cody, Skywalker!” He waited another long beat before more crackles of words came through.

“Whe– … ody? Where on Hoth’s–” Cody’s heart rate doubled as he rushed to the window, trying to identify some type of significant land feature to tell Skywalker. He traced his eyes across the horizon and noticed a notch in the mountain in the distance. It was his best chance at identifying their location. He talked quickly into the commlink, hoping that General Skywalker was even able to hear half of his words.

“Hang tight– Cody… five standard hour–” He will be there in five hours. Just five hours to keep Obi-Wan warm and alive.

Cody dropped the commlink onto the table and noticed Obi-Wan’s eyes watching him as he moved around the room. Crouching before the trembling man, he pressed his palm over Obi-Wan’s cheek. “Let me get the fire started again and I will be right here for you… Obi-Wan. I’ll be right here.” 

The fire began with little effort and Cody piled the firewood into the stove; it only had to last for five hours. He stoked the fire for several minutes and glanced over to find Obi-Wan still watching him with some unrecognizable look plastered on his face. Perhaps it was fear, or maybe it was appreciation, Cody couldn’t tell.

Cody removed his armour and pressed himself under the sheets against Obi-Wan’s back. He didn’t mind the way his clothed body pressed against Obi-Wan’s naked form, he just held the Jedi tighter and let a comforting hand gently rub over Obi-Wan’s bare chest. 

Obi-Wan slurred out a couple of unidentifiable words as Cody pressed his face into the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck. It made Cody want to cry. 

Skywalker would be there soon.

………………

There were noises fluttering through the distance, mostly muffled voices cut with the occasional beeping. Obi-Wan breathed in once, oxygen filling his lungs and the smell of antiseptic brushing at his nose. Wait… antiseptic?

Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped open to find that he was not, in fact, still buried in the dirty sheets of an old cabin on Hoth. Instead, he was laid out underneath a thin, white sheet with an IV pressed into the flesh of his arm. He was no longer cold and trembling. His fingers even seemed to cooperate with him as he reached for the glass of water by his bedside. 

Images of Cody came rushing back to him, memories of the kiss. He searched the room absently, hoping that maybe Cody was there to tell him it was all okay, to remind him how they managed to make it off of Hoth’s force-forsaken surface.

Cody was not there.

He waited patiently for Vokara Che to show up, or some other medic in training, they always did. Having spent more time in the medbay than he would prefer, Obi-Wan knew the drill. Still, it felt wrong to be alone in his guilt and confusion. 

Suddenly, two knocks rang out through the room and the closed door began to creak open. A familiar face peaked through the small opening. Cody. Obi-Wan schooled the smile on his face. “Come in, Commander.” He kept to the formality just in case.

“General.” Cody briefly bowed his head and stepped awkwardly into the room. “If you haven’t noticed, we made it out of that Cabin. I wasn’t sure you would remember.” 

“I don’t. All I remember is…” Obi-Wan grimaced and let his words fall flat. 

“I was able to comm Skywalker, the snow let up enough while I was out looking for food…” Cody cast his eyes downward for a moment and cleared his throat, “You were… quite out of it; a bad case of hypothermia. You didn’t– you had no idea where you were when I returned. Thankfully, Skywalker got to us before things got much worse.”

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing he could think of to say. Perhaps he was sorry for reciprocating the kiss, or for going out in the cold and forcing a case of hypothermia on himself; he was not entirely sure.

“Don’t be. I am the one who should apologize. I should not have kissed you to begin with, but then I left you alone for hours. You could have died.” The word hung in the stale air of the room. 

“Sit.” Obi-Wan said after several minutes of silence passed. He gestured at the chair fixated by the bed and watched as Cody sunk into, shoulders hunched in defeat. 

“Did I ever tell you about Satine?” Obi-Wan murmured, voice still hoarse. He cleared his throat. “She was like you… strong, independent. I loved her, but she… she let me go.” Obi-Wan swallowed and Cody brought the glass of water to the Jedi’s lips. 

“She let you go?”

“Yes… I offered to leave the Order for her, but my love was not enough for her to consider me. I know she loved me too, but each of us were so focused, so determined, to be great people in the eyes of the public, that we failed to see the value in private affection. Love cannot come from the praises of acquaintances. It can only be earned through a commitment to private, unwavering, closeness. Attachment, if you will.”

Obi-Wan spoke the words so reverently as he poured them from his heart. It wasn’t love that burned between them quite yet, but the fondness of friendship and attraction twirled dangerously around each other. He continued.

“I am not suggesting that you leave your post as a soldier, a rule-following one as I know you best. All I ask is that you contemplate the value of love and of fondness.” Cody leaned forward, eyes seemingly glassy all of the sudden.

“This is dangerous, Obi-Wan. You have said it yourself before, attachment is deceiving.” He muttered.

“Those are words I say when I am trying to convince myself that life is better without a person to rely on and… without you.” His voice cracked as he ducked his head and averted his eyes away from the Commander. Then there was a hand pressing into his own, squeezing his fingers. Another hand pressed over his cheek. 

Obi-Wan looked up to find Cody’s deep brown eyes interlocked with his own. The look inside of them spoke more than a million words. “Obi-Wan…”

“Yes, Cody?”

“Can we start over?” Obi-Wan felt a smile tug at his lips. His cheeks began to heat up.

“Should we start with a real kiss this time?” Obi-Wan asked softly. Cody just nodded.

It was nothing like the first kiss; this time it was sweet and gentle. Their lips pressed together as electricity moved between them.

#commander cody #codywan #cody x obi wan #hurt/comfort #general kenobi #obi wan kenobi #cody needs a hug #cody and his general #obi wan needs a hug #The Clone Wars #the clone wars fanfic #tcw #codywan fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #hypothermia #Cabin fic

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia