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#shadow and bone fan fiction
moonlightgrisha · 11 months
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How to lose a secret
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Ch. 5 Life as you know is coming to and end, as your secret is dangerously close to be revealed for good. [Masterlist] Previous - Next
As soon as you get off your horse, you know something is wrong.
Guards are waiting for you at the stable, which is definitely odd.
"How can I help you?" you ask politely, forcing yourself to smile.
"You must follow us", they answer. "The King and Queen require your presence at once".
Something is definitely wrong. "Just... let me stop by my rooms. I can't meet the King and Queen in this state".
You're dusty and sweaty for the ride, but the truth is that you are trying to buy some time. While you get cleaned, and the guards are waiting outside your door, you think and think, but your mind seems to have stopped working. You are still overwhelmed with what happened on the hill, but you didn't expect guards to come after you so soon. Also, they are First Army soldiers. Is the Darkling already here? Has he sold you out, yet?
You need to calm down.
So, you dress for battle. You put on your best garment. You braid your hair tightly.
Then you present yourself to the guards, and they lead you to the royal quarters, not so far away from your own. They shove you in, unannounced, and you almost stumble on your way in.
You disguise your loss of balance with a pretty curtsy, just as you should, but when you rise, your see the Darkling looking back at you.
"What is he doing here?" You cannot help yourself. He's right there, next to the King and Queen, in front of you. What you really mean is, "you traitor", but he doesn't even flinch. He just stares at you, emotionless, and that makes you so angry. It almost hurts, a little. But maybe that hard face means that he has nothing to do with all of this.
"You forget your manners", the Queen says. Of course.
"Forgive me, your Majesty". You look down and say nothing more, but you clench your fists, hard.
"The General has been summoned to help with this matter". As King Piotr speaks, you immediately realize that the matter is you.
The Queen continues. "We heard rumors."
You feel your heart missing a beat. "What rumors, your Majesty?"
"About you, cousin. Stories were collected from that village in the moorland, where your mother insists on living".
"You... investigated on me?"
"Just a precaution. You lived quite a retired life, cousin. I needed to know something more about you, before making any matches"
You know what's coming, but you can't stop it, and you wait there, listening. Your eyes shift to the side and you catch a glimpse of the Darkling. He's there, listening, pretending he's not that interested, once more. But he drinks on every word.
"Some people swear you spent almost every night in the woods".
You wonder how you'll get away with it, this time. You feel trapped.
"You don't deny it?". The Queen insists, since you say nothing.
"I'm quite the sleepwalker, moya tsaritsa", you answer. Half a truth, as always, the wisest choice, but maybe not now.
"This is not simple sleepwalking". The King sounds enraged, and you wince. "There are tales of strange things happening in those woods. Flashes. White lights. Some people told they saw your skin glistening."
All those years, you never realized you were spied on, or at least that somebody had seen you. You had been a naive little girl, playing with your secret. Tears are burning in your throat, but you swallow them. You are not giving any of them this satisfaction.
"Were you tested, as a child?" the King asks.
"Like everybody", you whisper, and the royal couple should know well enough what that means. Royal children were rarely tested. It was all a farce. Any Grisha in the royal family would have been quite difficult to handle, if not an embarassment, so their power were suppressed, or kept hidden. And there you were.
You don't know if the Darkling is aware of that, but he places a claw-shaped ring on his right thumb, then takes a steps towards you.
"You arm, please".
You suddenly realize that he's been keeping your secret. He told nothing to the tsar and he's not telling it now. He could easily reveal the truth, it would be a matter of seconds anyway.
But he's not betraying you.
The fact that he places his hand on your sleeve confirms it. He knows what happens, when he touches your skin.
You look at each other in the eye, while he pierces your forearm with his ring, and you don't stop looking, not even when a glistening, ethereal white light emerges from the wound. It's a melancholy light, the one that slips on your bedpost when you lie awake while the whole world drifts away in slumber. There is a long pause before the King asks: "Is that it? Is she the Sun Summoner?"
"No". The Darkling replies. He's still looking at you. He seems he'll never stop looking. "It's not the Sun".
You finally speak. "It's the Moon".
He breaks the spell, lifting the ring from your arm, but he doesn't really let go. Not yet. His hand lingers on you skin for a moment, while he gives you the faintest smile.
You should be desperate, but somehow you feel relieved. There's a freedom that comes with truth, even with the hardest one. Even if it means sacrificing everything that you were before.
The King has no time for sentimentality. "So? Can we use her?"
"Excuse me!?" You cannot believe your ears. The Darkling is still holding you and you abruptly lower your arm, breaking any connection with him that was left. "Use me for what?!"
The King ignores you. "Will she tear down the Fold, or not?"
You are in disbelief. There are a million answers you can think of, and not even a polite one. The Darkling too is about to speak, with a grave look on his face and probably a rehearsed reply. But the Queen precedes both of you.
"Patience, my dear husband" She manages to gracefully smile, somehow. "She is family. This must be handled with... discretion".
"Yes. It is necessary". The King looks at you like a strange creature. "The fact that you hid this power from us, under our own roof, it's more than a lack of respect. This is high treason. It is unacceptable".
You are quite sure they won't execute you, if you are so useful as you seem to be, but still a mixture of fear and rage takes over your mind. It is too late, now, for pleasantries, and you just snap.
"This... power, it is mine to give" you roar. "It is not a weapon, nor a tool, and it is not yours! And if you want it, you could have asked nicely, moy tsar".
"How DARE you-"
Just then the Darkling intervenes.
"She will move to the Little Palace at once. It's the safest place for her, and discretion is guaranteed".
You turn to him, eyes wide. "I'm just over here, thank you for asking".
"Oh, no one is asking you, cousin". The Queen articulates her words like you were a small child. "You kept a dangerous secret, and we are not going to investigate it further, as it turns out to be quite precious to our country. And you want what's best for the country, don't you, dove?"
"Naturally", you reply, grudgingly.
"You will be doing as you're told", the King concludes. "We will ask for weekly reports on this matter". That word, again. That's what you are.
The General bows his head. "That will be done, moy tsar".
The King gives you a last glance, then says: "You are dismissed".
You follow the General outside. There's no one else with you, and you expect him to turn and talk, maybe to gloat for entrapping you at last. Instead he walks in silence.
You break the silence first. "Did you tell them?" You want to hear from him.
"I told them nothing", he replies. "It appears it was just good timing. Or bad timing, as you wish".
"You must be pleased", you mutter.
"And why should I be?" He finally stops and turns to you. "Your own family didn't hesitate to sell you to me. Because that's what we are, to them: weapons. Precious commodities, as long as they have a use for us. I'll never be pleased to witness such trade".
That was unexpected. His words are overwhelming, and tears come back in your throat. By the time you have swallowed them down, he has started walking again.
"I'm not a fighter", you say, following him.
He glances over his shoulder. "Are you sure?"
"I'm no soldier and I'll never be".
"You don't need to be a soldier".
He keeps leading the way, but you hate to stay behind. So you speed up, until the two of you walk side by side.
As he turns your head to you, you whisper: "Better get used to it."
You keep your eyes in front of you, and don't see his bright smile.
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thesmokingguns · 1 year
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Library Meetings
word count: 1860
rating: PG-13 some very small implications of smut but nothing serious
A/N: never wrote for this fandom before but became very obsessed with The Darkling and needed to purge some of the manic energy from my mind.
The nightmares plagued you since you were young. The Fold, the darkness and terror. Your mothers screams and your fathers attempts to save you. The swirl of darkness around you as the creatures danced through the air in a practiced killing performance. You had run, a small inconsequential thing until light bathed you again. But the few moments you had been in there had changed everything for you. 
“Aleksander.” you sat up, calling for him. His name on your lips as you touched them to remind yourself to silence yourself. You shouldn’t make a scene but it was hard at night, when everything was dark to keep yourself quiet. Calling out for the General out of all people was also something you didn’t want the others to hear you do in the Little Palace. 
You rose from the bed, reaching for your robe and wrapping it around yourself. The thin nightgown covered by the cream colored robe you wore. The light colors calmed you, gave you a sense of light in all the darkness that you feared. Creeping from your bedroom, bare feet on the stone as you moved towards the library.
You’d go to the library and feel safe there. You knew that being in the . 
You had first met him there, having been naive and not realizing that you were entering the general's private space. It was light there and you craved the softness of it, especially after wandering the hallways as you tried to avoid sleep. Picking through books as he watched you from the shadows, waiting far too long before he talked to you. Thinking about the night, it was only a couple weeks ago, made your stomach knot as you followed along the same path.
The night where he had talked to you, smiled at you in a way you hadn’t expected. He talked to you like you were a person, pulling your life story from  you and all the nightmares you had. He was surprised at how you had asked about him and when you had touched his hand, laying your fingers over his in comfort you knew he had been surprised at how good it felt. 
It had started more. Little things like he would see you in your training and come over to correct you, tell you what to do. Any excuse for him to touch you, you realized. And you started wandering into his library, watching him look up from his book as he pretended that he hadn’t realized you were coming in but always making sure to make you feel welcome here.. 
And then you had walked in after a nightmare and it had changed everything.
When you had come to him, shaking and terrified he had held you as you cried. The fear you had in you was so raw that it had shocked General Kirigan for the sheer power of it. Amazed that such a creature could hold so much hurt. But he had calmed you down, made you drink a hot drink and settled you on his lap as he read to you. Watching you as you slept without worry for the first time.  
The next morning you woke up first, blushing as you realized you were on his lap in the library. The general was asleep under you, arms wrapped around you as you felt the strength in his guard that he never let down. Your fingers had a mind of their own, pushing some of his dark hair from his face, thumb tracing over his lips.His eyes fluttered open, shocked that you were watching him and smiling 
“Aren’t you afraid that I could bite?” he teased you but you shook  your head, a knot in your belly as his eyes furrowed, seeing that there was something on your mind, “What is it little darling. What’s on your mind?” Your tongue touched your top lip as you felt the flush of embarrassment passing through you. 
“I want to kiss you.” You admitted, afraid to lie to him. “May I kiss you, General Kirigan?” you asked, his dark eyes on you as he tried to gauge what you were thinking. Usually your mind went wild and he could see the race of thoughts in your eyes.
“Only if you call me Aleksander.” His hand was cupping your face now, looking at you as you nodded your head at him in agreement with his terms. 
“Aleksander.”  And you had kissed him, tasting the surprise at how you were pressing against him, lips firmly planted as you tasted your future in his mouth. He had held you against him until there was a knock on the door and he realized what was going on. 
He had gotten up, moving to block you as he went to see what was needed from him. You were so embarrassed that you had taken the hidden stairs he had shown you before, coming out in another hall and staying away from him in fear of embarrassing yourself by asking to be kissed again.
You had kissed him two mornings ago and had been too ashamed to go back, feeling foolish and stupid for having a crush on him. You weren’t a high ranking grisha and were new to the little palace, who did you think you were making moves at such a powerful person? And the General had been called away for something so you were safe in traveling to his library now. You could have the sense of him being there without having to run into him.
The door was open and a few candles stayed lit because the servants had habits they kept up, even when he wasn’t around. Your eyes scanned the room, thankful you were alone. Your eyes closed, breathing in and touching your lips as you smiled. You could smell him here and just sensing a part of him made the nerves from your bad dreams start to fade away.
His cloak was thrown over a chair and you were surprised a servant hadn’t cleared it away. Moving to the couch you grabbed a book, looking around and pulling it over you, face rubbing against the fabric and sighing out as you felt like he was wrapped around you. If you closed your eyes just for a second you could sleep for just a few minutes and wake up before breakfast to sneak back to your rooms.
You pulled the cloak around you, tighter as you snuggled up, letting your eyes close and drifting off to sleep.
General Kirian had returned in the middle of the night, he had been expecting  to see Y/N but being in a rather sour mood when he saw that Y/N was not there. After the kiss he had expected things to all fall into place. He had given you his name after all and thought you understood how personal that was and how he was opening himself up for you. But instead you had skirted away, hidden yourself right before he was called away. 
He exited his room, having just changed into his nightclothes, not like he was going to get much sleep,  and froze as he poured himself a glass of wine. Curled up on the couch was his little darling. He smiled as he saw you had taken his cloak, tucking yourself in and making herself comfortable in the space and he loved seeing that you had sought this place out for comfort, disappointed he had stepped away for a moment to change instead of being able to greet you.
He sipped his wine, watching you sleep for a second before crossing over, bending down where you were sleeping and stroking your face. He watched the way your eyes opened, taking him in with that pretty face shocked. But he kept stroking your face as you stared at him, not sure what to say. 
“Do you want to come to bed with me, my little darling? It’s much more comfortable than the couch.” Your eyes widened at his proposal and you looked down, suddenly very embarrassed that you had come here. 
If you went to bed with him you’d be no better than a concubine at best. The way people would view you would be different. It wouldn’t be what you wanted. But if you turned down the general it could damage your standing with the grisha. He was lifting your head, tilting your chin up to look at him as his face was serious now.
“You’re overthinking.” his fingers were so soft as he touched your face, His eyes looking down at your lips as his fingers slid over them, his tongue wetting his own in memory of what it was like to kiss you. “I just want you in bed to chase away nightmares. Yours and mine. To sleep, my little darling, unless you want something else?” he was teasing you, trying to lighten the mood but you were sitting up, his cloak calling off you as well as his hands as you stood up, 
The nerves in your stomach hurt as you paced the room, tugging at your fingers as you chewed your lip, not sure of what to do but knowing you were acting like an idiot and at the realization you stopped, looking at him as he watched you, amused at how in  your head you were getting and waiting for you to over share, like you had been doing. 
“I don’t want to be your whore.” his mouth opened at that, rising as he walked over to you, his hands on each side of your arms as he rubbed down the material of your robe until he had your wrists in his hand. He was so smooth with how he moved, his larger hands sliding until they weaved between yours and bringing them up to his lips, kissing them as he looked down and over them into your eyes. 
“My sweet little darling. I would never ask that of you. I want you as my partner.” you were quiet at his words and he loved seeing the way you looked caught off guard, “Wasn’t it you asking to kiss me the other day? And now I can’t even get you to lay in my bed to help you chase away your nightmares?” he stroked your face as you finally took a breath.
“You really want me?” His heart strings were pulled. Too many people had overlooked you, didn’t see what he saw in you. How special  you were. But he would never let that happen again. He wouldn’t let a day go by without making you feel all the love he had for you.
“Yes, very much so.” he was smirking at you, waiting for you as you trembled and he knew that you would say yes to him now. 
“Aleksander, I’m ready for bed now.” He smiled as he kissed your knuckles, pulling you to the bedroom. He’d take his time with you. Let you sleep tonight and in the morning. He smiled to himself, in the morning you both would be well rested and ready to take it slow.
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ludarklina-fan-spot · 2 months
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"How many fics do you have on the go?"
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"In my head or on my pc?"
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Fan fics ..... Not for the faint hearted
Gifs by @ladylrbloom
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dreamtigress · 4 months
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Broeder Liefde
The first chapter of Broeder Liefde is now up on A03! Kaz is having a bit of a hard time missing Inej. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52734799
Next two chapters coming in the next few days! Chapter 2 features some steamy Wesper time. Chapter 3 sees Kaz asking for what he needs.
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starscay · 1 year
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Yes season two of Shadow and Bone is like… three books smashed together
However I’m having a fun time so I don’t care
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sailor-hufflepuff · 1 year
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Just a formal update to let everyone know that recently my Shadow and Bone story, “I Didn’t Want To (Have to Haunt You)” has been officially renamed “A Sun in Retrograde”.
Maybe it’s stupid to rename something over a year after it’s completion date, but the original title - chosen at one am for what was supposed to be a one, maybe two shot story - has bothered me more and more as time has gone on. I wanted to change it back when I was writing itch but by then I had enough people following it that I didn’t want to confuse anyone. And the longer it got, the less I felt like I COULD change it, even as the plot increasingly moved away from being related to the title at all.
But, with support from the DDS, I finally made the switch to something that doesn’t make me cringe every time I see it, something that doesn’t take forever to type out every time I mention it, something that does a better job showing the theme and plot of the story.
I’ve kept the original title in the summary, as well as adding a tag, so I REALLY hope it doesn’t confuse anyone, and that it’s still easy to find.
So anyway, here it is, my original “Alina wakes up in the past and does everything differently” story:
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notelcol · 1 month
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1 for sorrow, 2 for joy🌹
Kaz x Nikolai hurt/comfort
You voted for it, so here it is🫶
Mildly edited, apologies for mistakes🌹
——-
When the newly crowned King Nikolai of Ravka asked for the Crows to come all the way from Ketterdam to help him, Kaz wanted to deny the job. He missed Inej, since she went to sea and didn’t want to help the man who facilitated her leaving. But after seeing the price and the details of the mission….he couldn’t refuse in the end. The Crows were charged to protect King Nikolai’s new weapon plan. It was rumoured to be unlike anything seen before and everyone sought after it. Naturally, at this point Kaz was intrigued. So, that was how he and his four remaining Crows ended up here. Split up all around the Little Palace, with alarm bells ringing. Utter carnage, but what’s new?
Kaz’ heaved as he ran with a box in one hand and his cane supporting his weight in the other. His job was to get the plans out of the palace during the chaos once Wylan set off the alarm system, meeting the King and a few guards out the back for a swift handoff before His Royal Highness escapes back to the Grand Palace under the cover of night. His leg was cramping painfully, but he kept his eyes focused on the little door at the end of the corridor and his mind on the mission. His ache to see the Kings new weapon plan was stronger than his old injury. The closer he got to the door, the more motivation he found. He kept going, until he burst through the door, not forgetting to check for someone following him.
Kaz eyed the three guards, then turned to greet the King.
“Your Highness.” He smirked while holding out the box.
“I knew you wouldn’t let me down.” The Kings smile was as golden as his crown. Before the pass-on was complete, the door flung open again.
“Protect the King!” One of the guards yelled as Kaz was smashed in the temple by a baton. Before he could recover, he was struck again in the rib. He groaned as the impact made a crack vibrate within his body. His hand went limp for a moment and the box hit the floor. Finally he could face his attacker as they picked up the box, only catching a glimpse before they ran into the dark.
“Kaz!” The King pushed past the guards, ordering them to go after the thief, and crouched at Kaz’ side. He went to touch the wound on the injured man’s head to see if it was still bleeding, but he was met with gloved slap on the hand.
“Get off.” Kaz snapped. “I’m fine.” He said while moving to get up. The King watched nervously as the man precariously used his cane to hoist himself up. He was almost upright, when the cane wobbled. Luckily Nikolai’s reflexes were fast and his arms were around Kaz’ waist in a second, lifting him up to stand, but lingering after.
Kaz breath shook as he stood all too close to The King. This man piqued his curiosity, yet in this proximity any questions evaporate with the sweat forming on his lip. All intensified by Nikolai’s eyes, tunnelled in on those very lips.
“Are you okay?” The King uttered out, eyes finally moving from Kaz’ lips, to the wound on his head.
“I can handle it.” The Crow leader stated, in a practiced manner. The blonde haired man, whose hands still ghosted his back, disagreed and reached out to touch the wound again. Kaz’ eyes closed. For a fleeting moment, he wished he could let his skin be graced by the golden King. But as fingers grazed his temple, the sweat on his face became canal water and the gentle hands became cold and dead. He sucked in a breath, to remind himself that he could, and pushed the King away.
Before either of the men could speak and relieve the tension, the door swung again. This time it revealed Jesper and Wylan, who eyed the pair suspiciously.
“Right on cue.” Kaz greeted as if nothing ever happened. “Did you get it?” He asked, confusing Nikolai.
“Of course we did, need you even ask?” Jesper feigned offence as Wylan proudly held out a box to the King. It was strikingly similar to the one Kaz just lost, causing Nikolai to chuckle and turn to Kaz. “I take it you planned this.” He asked the Crow leader.
“Everything up until the broken rib.” Kaz said. “Nina and Mattias will be bringing the thief back as we speak.” He finished.
“Impressive.” The King smirked, finding his eyes meeting Kaz’.
“Not as impressive as I’m sure those plans will be.” The Crow leader hinted and the King’s smirk became a warm grin.
“Alright, alright. I suppose while we await the thief’s return we could take a look.” Kaz almost grinned at those words.
“Come. Let’s go to my lab.” The King ushered, he and Kaz speeding off in step with each other.
Wylan and Jesper shared a knowing look before Jesper spoke.
“Do you think he meant us too or….?”
——-
I enjoyed this pairing a lot more than expected 🌞
Thank you to anyone who voted this in and thank you for reading it❤️
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beccalendsahand · 1 year
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“I-I killed him”
Inej stood there, eyes fixed on the bloody knife in her hands, hands trembling.
Kaz knew he had to do something. Move toward her, lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, tell her it was going to be alright. But that was not who he was, that was not who they were. 
If it were a trick, I’d promise you safety. I’d offer you happiness. I don’t know if that exists in the Barrel, but you’ll find none of it with me. 
One of the first things he’d said to her when he’d offered her this job. She knew what she was getting into, she knew she would have to use her knives eventually, but still, he couldn’t help but feel sorrow for her. Inej was brave and defiant, never faltering in her beliefs. As much as he scoffed and mocked her for her faith, although he hated to admit it, he admired her for it. Despite everything she had been through she still believed. Long ago perhaps there had been a chance of that for him too. But no, in his darkest hours, it was not the hand of any saint that reached out to him, but the dark promise of vengeance that pulled him from those murky waters. Inej though, she had resisted that voice at every turn, even with the sharpest set of knives in Ketterdam strapped to her chest she had never brought down the hand of judgment to make the killing cut. I won’t betray my faith She had told him. But tonight she had, in a church, under the eyes of the saints she held so dear, she had turned from them, for him. Any second later he would have been dead, head smashed against the cold stone tiles. With the choice between his life and eternal damnation, she had chosen him. He stared at her hands, they were loose on the blade, ready to fall from her hands at any moment, the last thing they needed was more noise to draw the Stadwatch to their location. 
“Inej listen to me.”
She did not look up. Eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. He wanted to take his hand and move her face towards his, force her out of this spell, make her look into his eyes and let her know she was safe. But that was an impossibility he was not ready to challenge. Instead, he repeated her name, insistently this time “Inej.” 
Her eyes finally broke free and met his own. Brown irises shining in the candlelight. His mouth went dry.
��You saved me life.” He managed to get out, stressing every single word to make her know that whatever guilt she was feeling right now, she did not need to ask her saints for forgiveness, and that… He didn’t know what this feeling was? Was he grateful, indebted? He felt the warm glow of something inside his chest. He pushed it away. 
He looked at her hands again, still shaking. They were so small, so soft. He wondered for the first time what it would feel like to hold them in his own. He reached out a gloved hand, it hovered there, just above hers, one more step, his mind went blank. What did he want to do? What was meant to happen now? He was so close he could feel her stuttering breaths on his neck, could feel her eyes looking up at him through her lashes. She was waiting too, a silent understanding. His hand brushed the tops of her knuckles, the waves rushed in. He couldn’t breathe. He was drowning. It was no use.  He could never be that person. Never be the man she deserved. Instead, he carefully took the hilt of the blade, and coaxed the knife from her frightened fingertips. It was better this way.
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Hello!
No time no see! 1 day till season 2 of shadow and bone!! I'm going to leave social media for a bit so that I can enjoy the new season spoiler free. But before that I thought I'd share with you something I did back in december! I see this pic of Yuzuka Rei and Hana Yuuki in Augustus the other day and thought "That's so kanej core" and decided to draw it but with kaz and inej instead! And then after finishing it i was so wrapped up in kanej feelings that I word vomitted this up at 2am, don't think I've written fanfic in 10 years! Thats the kanej power... The scene is inspired by the classic scene in the tv show mixed with my feelings from the books. Ahhh I love them so much! Can't wait for season 2! See you all on the other side!
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sonseulsoleil · 11 months
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in case you don't live forever (let me tell you the truth)
Every time he closed his eyes he saw Inej, coated with thick, dark blood, her small frame wracked with sobs. He saw Jesper on the ground, pools of crimson soaked through his stupid gaudy plaid suit and spreading out underneath his body, his eyes glassy and hollow. He saw the look of pure devastation on Wylan’s face, heard his screams as he threw himself down on Jesper. He saw Nina, looking down at her own hands, furious at their impotence.
OR: Jesper almost dies. Kaz feels some things about this.
Read on AO3
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moonlightgrisha · 1 year
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First encounter
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Ch. 1 This is how it all began. [Masterlist] Previous - Next
On your first night at the Grand Palace, you fall asleep in your bed and wake up in a meadow.
You gasp, and you stumble, then you realize what has happened. You sleepwalked out of your room, out of the gates, up the hill above the palace grounds.
You guess by your dirty nightgown and scratched arms that it must have not been an easy way. You shiver, then look up.
A thin crescent moon is still lingering in the sky, although you can already see the first flashes of dawn. You are here, alone, and you cannot resist. You lift your head to call upon it.
If he had been just a few seconds late, he would have caught you in the act. But you see him first, and you freeze.
He is dressed in black, riding a dark horse, looking at you.
Shadows. Monsters. Blood.
Memories of your nightmares suddenly get hold of you. The man is Grisha, and they told you about him.
He could say a million things, but he says: "Are you lost?"
"No", you answer. You don't know why you said that.
He doesn't move. "You are not Grisha", he mumbles, so low you can barely hear him. He seems confused for a second, then he speaks again. "What are you doing here?"
You try not to feel so cold. "The same as you, a morning stroll". You pause, then add. "Sir".
You can swear he doesn't buy any of it, but he seems to recall his manners, now. He takes his horse a few steps back. "These are Little Palace's grounds. You shouldn't be here... milady".
"Huh?"
"You are not Grisha", he says again, this time louder. It sounds more like a question.
You are used to lie, but this time you just can't. So you say: "I'll better be going, now. Have a good day".
You turn your back at the Darkling and begin to find your way in the woods, hoping he wouldn't come after you, hoping he doesn't see through you.
You don't look back, and he doesn't follow you. The morning light is shining, now, and if he sends shadows after you, you can't tell.
Your heart is pounding in your chest.
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thesmokingguns · 1 year
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The Darkling Sunshine
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Word Count: 2715
A/N: There is one scene scene in the show and book that I did not agree with and really thought that should have went the other way. Yes it would have changed the entire story but you know for the better. This is just my reimagining of the scene where Baghra tells Alina she needs to go. I did write Alina in the ‘I POV’ and didn’t use her name.
YOUR POV
“Oh Saints.” you had no sense of direction. Mal had tried to teach you by pointing at stars and giving them names but what help did that give you as you rushed through stone hallways on command on Baghra.
Baghra, the mother of the Black Heretic.
You did believe her that he was her son. You believed that he was the man who created the fold and you did trust that he was planning on using it as a weapon but there was something gnawing in your gut about what else she said. Was Aleksander trying to make you his slave or did he see more in you?
Part of you wondered what he could see, a poor orphan girl who had been sent to the army to draw maps but instead wasted paper daring mythical creatures. You who didn’t understand the way the grisha were meant to live and who made mistake after mistake. You, who he had just been kissing.
There had been an anger in his kiss, you could taste it as his teeth gnashed yours and his hand slid your skirts up to your belly. But hadn’t you been angry as well? There was so much happening and everyone was pointing you in different directions, wanting to control you. But maybe you needed to stop and start asking questions of your own.
The Night air was cool and you were thankful for the black kefta that you had on as you emerged by the stables. Everyone was still inside the Little Palace celebrating the grisha’s performances. No doubt they are all talking about you, the sun summoner. These same people who had for years ignored you now kneeling down before you.
The power had felt…amazing.
You needed to gather your wits around you, looking around and realizing there were more enemies than friends. Especially after Baghra had said some grisha were loyal to her. You were given two options: you could run and hide or you could sneak back in and talk to Aleksander. Both options terrified you.
Where would you go if you ran? What would you do? The world was at war and the Fold existed like a black scar across the land, an emptiness that you couldn’t travel around easily. And if you went back inside you would be surrounded by silent enemies and a man who was powerful and could have been using your affection as a toy. He could be trying to bed you just to get you closer to him, instead of actually wanting you. But didn’t you deserve answers?
You were torn.
It was hard to describe your feelings for General Kirigan. It was different from how you felt about Mal. Mal was this comforting presence in your life, your best friend who had been there for you at all the worst times. You had known that he would always be there for you and that safety had provided you a comfort that had been what you thought was love. But Mal hadn’t seen you that way. Instead he tumbled in the darkness with anything that had a mouth and legs. Grisha or soldier. Mal didn’t care as long as he could press his strong body into someone and forget. He just never had wanted you.
But with Aleksander, the way he looked at you made your heart stop. He understood the burden of your gift but also the magic you couldn’t see in it. When you two had kissed the first time you had tasted his surprise, the loneliness on his lips. And you had understood him then because you had been lonely like that for a long time. There were layers to a man who was branded one way and your fingers itched to peel them apart, to see who he was under all the shadows that swirled around him.
“Oh Saints, I hope I’m doing the right thing.” You turned quickled slicing your cheek on a sharp corner of the barn. Your blood slid down, staining the gold embroidery of your kefta. You were quick in shrugging it off. Wiping some of your blood on the fabric and letting it fall down to the ground of the barn as you turned, looking at the hidden way you had come out of and knowing you were going to climb back up.
You had questions that needed to be answered and you weren’t going to just let them not be, And if Baghra was right you were going to be making the worst mistake of your life, but if she was wrong. You breathed out, this could be the start of your life and not the continuous running away from your problems that you had been doing.
The Darkling POV
‘Y/N?” I strode into the room, looking for her. Heart racing after the assassination attempt and needing the weight of her in my arms to make sure that she was safe. “Y/N?” I turned to look into my bedroom, hoping I had taken too long for her.
The empty room took my breath away and I struggled for a moment for control over my emotions. Fear. I had fear for the first time and I had to grab at my heart that was trembling in my chest to verify that it was true, that this was what I was feeling.
She was gone.
My breath struggled and I was weak, giving in for a few seconds before the cool familiarity of my anger slid into place. My hand knotting in a fist as I turned rushing from the room as I felt teh sneer on my face.
Mal.
Pathetic little tracker boy who had realized that as soon as someone else got their hands on Y/N they would see she was special. He had a lifetime to be with her and yet he had chosen wrong time and time again.
I had been wrong, thinking that their childhood lovesick story was over. Had done so well in intercepting the letters that they wrote each other, burning them after reading about how they confided in each other, playing with words to avoid using words of true feelings. But Y/N had stopped writing a few weeks ago and Genya had stopped asking about the tracker so I had thought it was fine.
Now he had come into my palace and he had taken her? He would pay for this. He would pay for this greatly. And he better not have touched a hair on Y/N’s head.
Striding across the grounds I was panting, out of breath as I gre angry with the thought of how I would find them. He idea of her under him letting him rut against her like a dog twisted my stomach, making bile burn my throat. But as I looked up, I saw her.
My mother and knew that something was wrong.
“He’s not here.” she said cooly and I knew she knew who I was looking for but I played along with her anyway.
“Who?” She was wasting my time and I think she relished in seeing me like this, seeing me hurt. Not everyone had all the graces that came with motherhood and mine had too many years to let me down.
“The tracker. Yes, I know about him and your little mission.” Baghra was strong and trained all the grisha. I had given her too much power in touching so many lives. Power that I was regretting now because obviously she had formed bonds and connections with people who were loyal to her over me.
That would have to be dealt with at a later time. Right now I just needed to find the tracker and rip him limb to limb. Find Y/N make sure she wasn’t hurt and bring her back inside, keep her safe. I just needed to keep her safe.
“What have you done with him?” She wanted to play games and I knew by now I had to play along for a little bit to get the answers I was searching for.
“Disposed of along with your hopes of killing the stag.” Ah so she did know about the stag. The stag that would give Y/N more power, let her really unleash her light onto the world.
My little saint was going to be stronger than me and I couldn’t wait to see her shine. This would be my greatest gift to her. The way I would express my feelings to her, to show her that I didn’t care if we weren’t equal. I would give her the world just to be by her side.
“I always have hope, mother. Even you can’t kill that.” She thought I was evil. Fine. Let them all thing I was evil. They didn’t understand the weight of keeping grisha alive. Y/N would. She would understand me.
“That isn't hope. That's greed. You would use y/n against the rest of the world.” I didn’t give her any emotion. There was no way I was going to let her know that what she was saying confused me endlessly.
For years my mother had stood beside me and helped me protect the grisha. She remembered how we were hunted and treated so above all else she should understand the sacrifices that needed to be made for our kind. And here she was, standing against me as she talked about the world like it wasn’t full of people who wanted to erase us.
“You mean against our enemies? Without me, there’s just her. Standing alone She is all that matters now, not me. She is the future She is the one-”
“Yes, but where is she?” Now this, this I did not like.
She had taken Y/N from me. She had taken her and done something to make her leave. What had she done  to poison her against me or was it so easy that she had just told her who I was and she had run away, afraid of me? Y/N liked the old stories, the stories that were my memories but were her history. She smiled, as she recited the tales of the black heretic, looking at me and not knowing that the story she told was mine.
And now she knew and she was gone.
“Careful, you don’t really matter anymore either.And if you put her in harms way think about what I might do.” I turned, the anger was too much now but the hurt was there and surprising me with its ache.
She had chosen to leave. Chosen to go. Chosen that I was not good enough for her. She had made me her villain and if that was what she wanted, I would play my part.
“General Kirigan.” I stopped, freezing as Ivan held up her Kefta, stained in blood. My head turned to Baghra as her mouth fell open, hand coming up in shock as she saw it too. I took it, my hands feeling like they were trembling as I touched it, smearing it.
“It’s fresh. Send out troops to find her and make sure she isn’t harmed. I will head out in the morning. The King must not know about this.” I knew Ivan could be discreet, knew he was at least loyal.
As he rushed away I turned, holding the bloody kefta, eyes narrowing as I looked at Baghra now.
“This blood is on  your hands.” She didn’t know what to say to that, letting me turn walking back to my rooms, holding the kefta and hoping no harm had come to Y/N. Maybe she had been forced to go. Maybe I had been wrong to think she would leave so easily.
All I cared about was her safety
Your POV
The stairs were endless and where they led confused me more and more. I was exhausted, dried blood on my face as I finally pushed open a door, stumbling inside  and falling to the ground. Deep struggling breaths for what seemed like miles of climbing. My thighs and calves ached from the exercise. All that champagne instead of water not doing me any favors. I wiped at my face, cursing as I reopened the cut and watched my blood spill out on the floor to General Kirigan’s war room.
My foot kicked the door closed behind me and I laid on the ground for a second, trying to gather the strength to stand again.
The door to the room opened and I knew it was him. I could tell from the way he strode in, heavily stepped and confident that he was here.
My eyes closed as I sighed out, safe. I hoped.
“Aleksander.” I said  his name, pushing myself up. He was told me quicker than I expected, helping me stand as he looked at me. His eyes wide in surprise. He had thought I had left him, he thought I could leave him.
“Y/N. I thought that…you’re hurt.” he touched my cheek, my blood on his finger smearing it as he moved me towards his room, sitting me on his bed as he kneeled beside me, holding my hands in his.
“I know who you are, Aleksander. I know that you’re the Black Heretic. But what I don’t know is what you want from me and what I am  to you.” It felt silly to ask these questions to him. To ask this powerful man who I was to him.
I wanted him to say I was more than just one of his grisha. I wanted him to single me out and to feel special. But I was afraid that he was going to say that I was just a piece in his puzzle. The weapon he needed to make the fold do what he wanted. But I needed to know. I needed to know if I had made a mistake coming back here.
Aleksander stood up, walking away from me as he poured a glass of water, handing it to me as he looked at me, hand to his mouth as he thought.
“Let me call for a bath for you and for Genya to heal you. We can talk of-”
“No. Aleksander, please.” The tears were in my eyes as I begged him and he sighed, dropping to his knees in front of me, the emotions on his face so prominent that I dropped the water, neither of us caring.
“Y/N, you’re the future. You’re going to save the grisha. You can destroy the fold or we can use it to bring peace to a world that knows nothing but war. We can save so many lives. Grisha and not. And…and we can do it together. You and I as…equals.” I nodded my head, understanding what e was saying.
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I had wanted to-
“And…I’m afraid that I’m quite in love with you, Y/N and you have presented yourself to be my greatest weakness.” He looked so vulnerable then, so unsure of himself as he told me this and I knew it hurt him to be weak. But this was what I needed from him.
I slid down, landing more in his lap than on the floor, cupping his face, fingers over the beard as I pulled him to me, kissing him to seal my fate. I had come back to him and I was glad of it. His hands were wrapped around me, lifting us from where we kneeled by each other on the floor, pressing me into the bed as he covered his body with mine. His hand slid over my cheek, stopping as I flinched.
“We have talked. Now you must let me get Genya here to heal you, my little saint. Please, let me take care of you?” I nodded, allowing this as he got up, stopping as he turned, looking at me in his bed, “I’m going to love you for eternity, you do know that?”  he asked as I looked at him, tilting my head.
“And not a day less.” He was so beautiful when he smirked like that, when he allowed himself happiness. And I wanted to be that for him.
The Darlkling’s sunshine.
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hiraethwritings · 7 months
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Dwelling Deep Within
(Look who got their fanfic ready for this Big Bang!)
@grishaversebigbang
Summary:
Jesper Fahey has been accepted to the prestigious Ketterdam University, nestled deep within the countryside. His roommate: the sunshine Nikolai, who seems to hide a lot about himself. There's Zoya, whose hard gaze doesn't deter him from befriending her. There's the curly-haired boy who plays in the music hall.
And then there's the university itself.
Excerpt of Chapter 1 underneath "Keep Reading":
Jesper stared out the carriage window, trying to keep his anxiety down. He could almost hear Ketterdam University get closer. His home moving further away. The thought of it twisted his stomach.
“Hey, are you okay?”
He blinked, turning to Colm—his Da—who sat next to him.
“Ah, I’m alright.”
“You know, it’s okay if you don’t want to do this. You’re about to commit to a huge leap in your life.”
“No, I need to do this.”
The words stopped dead on his tongue. It didn’t feel right to finish—or even try to think of a palatable answer. He was leaving home because he needed to. Staying on the farm meant losing the opportunity to see the world and learn about himself. But it sounded terrible. He didn’t want to hurt Da now of all places.
“Hey, it’s okay. I understand you’re growing up; you need to find out who you are. I can’t coddle you forever.”
Jesper grinned. “You know I can still come back. We have holidays, and I’m going to miss the dinners we have.”
Colm chuckled. “Well, don’t come back for just the food.”
“Right. I need to see Milo, too.”
A soft, humorful sigh. “You’re going to be fine.”
Jesper grinned, lighter this time.
The carriage lurched forward. He almost felt himself thrown from his seat if it weren’t for the arm over his chest.
Jesper looked out the window as his Da crawled out the other.
“Hey! What’s the hold up for?”
There was an answer, but Jesper couldn’t see it as a team of carriages and horses rode by in front of them. He could barely make out any of the riders and the windows were covered. But as soon as they were there, they were gone.
He slid back into his seat, Colm sitting back next to him. “Ah, some nobleman on their way to Ketterdam. I’m glad you’ll be getting some peace and quiet where you’re at.”
Jesper lightly scoffed before grinning. “You never know. I might find a way to go downtown to Ketterdam.”
“Not through these bogs.”
He followed his Da’s gaze out the window.
Outside was the same scenery—a forest that fluctuate between sparse and dense, with the ground wet and mossy. He’d have to travel by carriage or foot on the road if he wanted to reach Ketterdam.
Soon, their surroundings changed to manicured lawns and pruned trees. The buildings of the university followed soon after.
Jesper felt his leg start bouncing. “Can’t believe we’re here.”
“Me neither.”
Jesper waited for the carriage to come to a stop, almost ready to fly out the door. But he waited until his Da stepped out before following him. He paused, helping to take down his trunks. Everything for the school year was inside the semi-heavy luggage.
“What room are we taking them to?” Colm asked, setting the second trunk down before the carriage left.
Jesper pulled out a piece of paper from his inside pocket—the letter from the university with all the necessary information inside.
He scanned over the words before stating, “Room 248.”
“Oh no, we need to go up stairs.”
Jesper chuckled, taking one of the trunks. “I’ll take the heavier stuff then.”
“Why do I have a feeling you overpacked?”
“I didn’t overpack. I just wanted to bring clothes that would probably suit Ketterdam. If anything, I can just send for anything else from you.”
Colm shrugged, following him this time. “I do have some ideas for care packages.”
The two navigated the halls, dodging students and parents walking through the many doors. Even with the heavy trunk, Jesper found himself bounding up the stairs with excited energy. As they approached his door, though, apprehension started to trudge in.
“240, 242, 244… Ah! 248.”
Jesper opened up the door to a room that showed life. His new roommate had been in here before—there were luggages on the bed, clothes stacked next to them. But the person was not in the room.
He placed his trunk onto the empty bed, scanning over the roommate’s belongings. He heard Colm set down the other trunk with a tired sigh before sitting on the bed.
“Well,” he finally said after catching his breath, “what do you think?”
“It looks… new.”
There was a pit now in his stomach. He didn’t like the feeling it gave him, sitting where the food should be going, making his breath start to slow further. Jesper shook it away mentally and decided to take in the room: two beds, the desks, the closets, and the bathroom. A simple dorm room. It didn’t feel like it was his place.
At least, not yet.
“Lot to take in?” Colm asked, sitting on the bed.
“Uh, I guess.”
“I know. Your new place for the next four years, hopefully. You might as well take the time to make this place yours.”
Jesper looked over the barren walls. He nodded, wondering what he could put up to remind himself of home. And what his roommate will be okay with.
“Ah! You must be the new roommate!”
Jesper turned to see a blond man in the doorway. He was smiling with wide eyes, strands of his hair were starting to fall forward.
He stood up, almost stumbling forward. “Yes, I am. And you are?”
“Let’s just stick with Nikolai.” He crossed the room, shaking Jesper’s hand. “You must be Jesper—did I pronounce it correctly?”
This time, Jesper smiled. “Actually, you did.”
“Good! It would be terrible to start out this year with a mispronunciation.”
“Wouldn’t be the worst.”
“Still, it wouldn’t be right.” Nikolai fell on his hand, his smile never faltering. “So, tell me about the classes you’re taking.”
Jesper heard his dad sigh, “Oh boy, there’s two of you.”
He only chuckled. He was going to like Ketterdam.
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ludarklina-fan-spot · 5 months
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Gotcha
Lady Darludalina (Ladylrbloom)
Summary:
Mal told Alina that The Grisha had more than they deserved. So it had to be true, right? So not one of them would mind it if she raided their storage tent room and Mess tent for food, right? Wrong. General Kirigan and his Heart render, Ivan, would.
Notes:
Inspired by Lost in the Light by AngstyThumbs
I do not own a thing. Title inspired by a line Sir Guy of Gisborne says in “Robin Hood BBC” another great show filmed in Budapest axed too soon. Joanne Froggatt and Lara Pulver needed to hold hands again dammit!!!! Was rated PG 15 to be safe now rated M. Written in Australian and British English. Now … Follow!
Seriously, thank you @angstythumbs for inspiring me :)
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akinatrix · 8 months
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Why do all the good fanfics pop up when I’m about to get ready for bed? 😭😭
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justalittlejess · 1 year
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shadow and bone is giving riverdale. solid first season, and then it dissolves into crazy but we eat it up so the crazy gets crazier every season. make it stop
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georgina-layla · 2 years
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Hi All!
For those who follow my account - you may know me as a fine line/anime/fanfiction/tattoo artist - but i’ve been a writer for quite some time recreationally and began writing again just recently after having some spare time away from clients and stress, and wanted to train myself back into the literary world. Thus, i decided now might be a wonderful time to share with you my Shadow and Bone Fanfic - just something i’ve been working on to get me to speeds before creating my own fantasy novel (not that it’s easy, kudos to published authors, you are my inspiration) in hopes that you would be able to see the extent in which my skills can travel. 
Please read, comment, like, and share, as any form of care and support means so much to me.
All the love,
L.S.T
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