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house-of-slayterr · 1 year

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The Gangs All Here:

Tag: @oceansrose2002 @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @myers-meadow-selfship @queer-and-utter-chaos

Blinky’s POV:

I sadly bid goodbye to Tommy, but promised I’d come visit soon. His mother made it clear I was welcome anytime, despite her original hostility. And I told Monty I’d attempt to fix the wall next time and bring my good supplies. I had pretty much zoned out the whole day, my autism being particularly annoying today. Every little thing was making my skin crawl and my head pound. But I was trying my best to remain calm and in control.

Macy pulled up to our usual spot and parked.

“Wanna get some lunch before we head back to your place?”

I nodded. She frowned, lifting my chin with her finger.

“You feeling ok pretty girl?”

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen when I walk through that door Macy. I ran away, yes I told them I was going but still, I was a coward, I left.”

“I’m sure they won’t hold that against ya puddin’ how could anyone stay mad at you?”

She missed my nose and I giggled.

“Want me to go in with you?”

My eyes widened as I looked at her.

“It’s not like I don’t know.”

“I know that you know. But they don’t- know… you know, you know?”

“You’re cute when you don’t think before you speak.” She jeered.

I rolled my eyes.

“I just, I don’t want them to freak out. What if someone tries to hurt you? That would kill me inside.”

“You’re worried about me getting hurt? May I remind you I beat Thomas in our little wrestling contest last night?”

“Yeah you did” I smiled dreamily.

“There’s that smile I love so much! Come on let’s get you some proper food, I’m buying.”

Macy was too tall to put her arm on my shoulder, so she just put it on my head and I playfully glared up at her. I don’t know how she does it. Macy isn’t the happiest of people, at least not on the outside. Most people would probably find her scary or intimidating. Yet she always managed to make me smile, from that first day we met all those months ago.

Miss G greeted Macy and I Happily. As we sat in our spot she set down our coffees, leaving the pot at the table.

“You know you two are my favourite right?” She said.

Macy smiled at her. “Your boss makes the only edible food in this town” Macy joked, “it’s good to see you again.”

“You two deary, you know what you want to order yet? I know this one wants a pastry.” She laughed.

“Yes please!”

“Give us a moment to think, take your time with the other customers.”

Miss G gave us a kind smile and left us to look at the menus.

“Ugh, why can’t that woman be my mother.” Macy quipped.

“I know right. But Luda ain’t all that bad. She’ll get better.” I said, placing my hand in hers.

“I’ve never seen her yell at Hoyt like that before Blinky, I think you starred a wildfire.” She laughed.

“Good, your family needed to get in gear. I swear y’all didn’t say two words to each other that weren’t about me. Do you guys even talk?” I asked.

“Just me and Tommy. Nobody wants to hear what Hoyt or Monty have to say. And Ma, she has her kind moments but we mostly just stick to ourselves. I don’t mind it that much, means I don’t have anyone up my ass when I disappear from time to time.”

“And where would you be right now, if you weren’t with me?” I asked, curious.

“The Glenwood Cemetery in Huston. The place is huge! Everytime I go I read a few new graves and I like to think about the lives they may have had. Oldest grave I’ve found so far was 1871.”

I smiled fondly. Macy had strange interests but I always let her talk about them. I loved hearing her voice when she was happy. It had this little hum, when her tongue moves to fast and hit the top of her mouth. It sounded like little bees in my ears. She had the slightest lisp that she tried really hard to hide, but I thought it added to her charm.

My voice whistled too, ever since I lost that tooth. Sometimes my tongue would poke out from behind it and make a weird little sound. We looked over the menu, I knew it was really important to her that I ate something “healthy” so I put a pause on the could so I could focus. But that didn’t last long when I caught her staring.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Nothing,”

I squinted my eyes at her.

“Did you know you stick your tongue out when your focused?” She asked smugly.

“Pftt, I dont-“ I looked down, “oh. What’s that doing there?” I said.

She laughed airily, loud enough that some of the other patrons looked out way. But Macy was not one to be shy. Sure, she was stand offish, but that was because she didn’t like people. But she was never shy.

“I don’t know how you do it Blink, but I swear you get cuter each day.”

I blushed heavily.

“Hush, I’m trying to focus.”

She held her hands up in mock surrender. Seemingly she already knew what she was going to order.

“What about this? That’s got protein right?”

I pointed to it on her menu.

“A Falafel burger, sure, tons. You sure you’re up for trying it?”

“Mmm, it’s been a good day. I think I can handle a new food.”

“You two ready?”

“Umm yes, can we have one Falafel burger, fries on a different plate please. And I’ll take two of your lunch burritos and a salad for us to split.”

“You kids are hungry today, coming right up. Oh, Blinky the pastry of the day is apple fritters.” She addressed me.

“Apples!” I said, my eyes glowing.

She leaned in to whisper.

“I’ll put a few aside for you in a take out box.”

“You’re the best!” I smiled.

“Anything else to drink? Or just coffee today?”

I turned to Macy, “milkshake?” She grinned wide, “a strawberry milkshake with two straws please.”

“Coming right up. I’ll put extra whipped cream and a Cherry for each of you.”

“You’re a god send.” Macy complimented.

The woman blushed and hurried off to the kitchen.

“You’re only getting a milkshake cause you’ve been so good today. I’m proud of you for how you handled my family. They’re enough to drive anyone crazy”

I pouted.

“I’m always good.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Sure you are Blink, you’re like a little hurricane that sneaks up on people.”

I frowned.

“Oh come on Blink. You know you can’t have all this sugar all the time. You said you were studying medicine, you should know this.”

“Yeah yeah, so it could thicken my heart muscles. Fine, I’ll cut back on my sugar.”

“Wait really, that’s what happens?”

“Mmm, it increases your insulin and it has nowhere else to go.” I shrugged.

“And you still eat the way that you do? Doesn’t that scare you?”

“Not before you, no. And I didn’t have much of a choice. America is stupid, the things that are the worst for you are the cheapest and most readily available. I could buy a watermelon for $3.50 or I could get two boxes of cereal that will feed me for a week.”

“You mean for breakfast right?”

“Breakfast, lunch, dinner… it doesn’t matter, I used to ration one meal a day so I’m not really used to this whole, normal diet thing.”

Macy cringed.

“God Blinky, no wonder you’re so tiny. Your body never had anything to help it grow. The foods not going anywhere ok? You can eat as much as you want.”

“I know that, it’s just hard I guess. Old habits right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, tell me more about this cemetery.” I tried to pivot the conversation on me.

I knew she wouldn’t judge, but I didn’t like conversations focused on my flaws. It made me uneasy.

“Oh my god, you would love it there. It’s so quiet and the grounds keeper is really nice. There’s actually this crypt there a family and build in the early 1900s. They’re son had been missing for years and they thought he was dead, then he just showed up out of nowhere with no memories. Since he was alive, it never got used. He lets me go in there and write sometimes.”

“Wow, that does sound nice. Maybe I could read some of you writing sometime.”

“You gonna show me that drawing you did of me?”

“Eventually…”

“Then you have your answer.”

I rolled my eyes. Touché. The food came and Macy looked likes she had never seen food in her entire life. It was always funny to me how she could eat like there wasn’t enough food in the world. Miss G set the milkshake in the middle of the table.

“You two let me know if you need anything else.”

“Of course, thank you!” I said politely.

I stared at my food for a second, dissecting it with my eyes. Macy has already taken a bit out of one of her burritos. But she waited until her mouth wasn’t full to speak again. She slid some silverware across the table to me.

“Take off the top bun, it will be easier to cut.” She said.

I took the silverware and followed her instructions. I cut it into 6 neat pieces. And separated them on my plate.

“Ketchup?” I asked.

“Try a bite first.” She answered.

I nodded, slowly bringing the food to my mouth. The texture wasn’t what I was expecting, but it wasn’t bad. The flavour was nice, and I smiled into the bite. She looked at me expectantly and I gave her a thumbs up.

“Ketchup.” I concluded.

She let out a little snort from her nose, which made me scrunch mine in return. It was a adorable. I ate about half of it before I reached for the milkshake. It was much better. It was sweet, and cold and it felt nice on my tongue. Macy had mostly been drinking her coffee, and I had a sneaking suspicion she was trying to save most of it for me.

“You can have some you know, we did order to share.”

“You first.” She said.

“You know full well I’ll drink this whole thing by myself if you don’t stop me.” I teased.

“Ok, sassy. Fine I’ll have some.”

She moved the cup between us and sipped from her straw. It was like one of those classic scenes from those 50s movies. To top it off, she scooped up some whipped cream in her finger and put it on my nose. I pulled back, alarmed.

“You did not just-“

“I did, what are you gonna do about it?”

I took a French fry and threw it at her head, but she caught it in her mouth. I glared at her and she just laughed.

“Face it Blinky, you’re even sweeter than this milkshake.” She said.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I know.”

I moved my plate out of the way, and stabbed my fork into the salad. We got it with no dressing cause I hate dressing. It made the veggies also soggy. Gross. The crispy cucumbers were my favourite part. I was surprised to see Macy was already onto her second burrito. I think it had eggs and meat and cheese, I looked at it in disgust. I didn’t mean to show it on my face, but sometimes I couldn’t help it. Macy rolled her eyes.

“You enjoying the salad.”

“Very fresh.” I said.

She took a break from her monstrosity of a lunch to eat some of the salad with me. I had no idea how she wasn’t full already. I sipped my coffee, the contrast between it and the Milkshake were a little jarring. But it wasn’t bad. The caffeine would help. I’d been sober for almost a week now, and I wasn’t feeling the best. But Macy didn’t need to know about that. I recently learned her middle name was Josephine cause Tommy’s sign name for her was MJ.

He made mine “cute” but signed with a B for my name. How could I argue against it when he himself looked cute signing it. I didn’t want to break his heart, so I gladly excepted the name. It was easier than spelling out Blinky. Tiny’s name already had a sign, so he didn’t need a special one. Miss G came back and she down one pasty for each of us, while sliding the take out box into my backpack with a wink. I smiled at her as she was called away to help someone else.

“Hey M?”

“Yes?” She asked.

“What if I- no it’s stupid.”

“Nothing you can say is stupid Blinky. I say the same thing to Tommy all the time. You both need to be a little more confident.” She said.

“What if I worked here?” I asked.

“Here? It’s not that far from your house I don’t think. Not that I’ve been there yet.” She put emphasis on the last part, “it’s a bit of a walk though isn’t it?” She pointed out.

I hummed.

“But you’d look cute in the uniform.” She smirked.

Of course that’s what she would focus on. The only think more ferocious then her appetite, was her sex drive. And I had unknowingly unleashed that can of worms. Oops.

“I’d have to ask of course. But like, beats working at the gas station. And it’s small enough that even full it wouldn’t be too loud, not that it ever gets too full.”

“Can you handle a job?” She cringed, “I’m sorry that came out wrong.”

“No, no it’s fine. I’ve had plenty before. I think my family will be more lenient on chores if I’m bringing in more money. Plus there’s tips. Only tip we get at the gas station is a middle finger.” I laughed.

“Then go for it. I could come visit you at work.” She smiled.

“And you wouldn’t have to worry so much about me when you’re back home. Now we know they have something healthy I can eat.”

“That is very true.”

When we finished our meal I only had two pieces of my burger left, but I didn’t think it would heat up well. I looked at Macy.

“It’s ok little bug, you did good. I’m proud of you.”

I smiled, glad I was able to please her. I was surprised when she put a whole $20 on the table for tip. I raised a brow at her.

“Made some extra fixing up an old bike and a few days before you called. I’ve got some cash to spend, and she deserves it.”

“Don’t leave it on the table, sticky fingers around here.” I suggested.

We walked up to the counter and slid the money to Miss G.

“Aww thank you cuties, you didn’t half to.”

“Please for all you do for us, I did have a question though.”

“Shoot kid!”

“Are you guys hiring? I’d have to ask my dad but-“

“I would love to have you working here, you’d bring some smiles to this place. Let me go get the paperwork and you can think on it.”

“Thank you.”

We waited by the counter for a second, but that’s when a three boys walked in. Roughly around our age, maybe a little older than me. But they were the rowdy type, that much was evident from the laughter disturbing the peace. I tensed slightly but Macy rubbed her hand up my arm.

The came beside us to sit at the counter, and started hollering for some service. I rolled my eyes.

“Ain’t anybody working here or is it self service?” On of them called.

I grit my teeth, if I was gonna work here I’d have to deal with idiots like this. But they were no worse than the gas station idiots. But when she came back out to hand me my papers and one of the boys said something under his breath, o was beyond irritated. She didn’t deserve that.

“When you’re done serving that fine piece of ass over there, could you help a brother out?” One of the older looking boys said.

I saw his eyes on Macy and I was shaking. She wasn’t very pleased about it either. I said my thank you to Miss G and gave her a look of pity as she walked over to them. What I wasn’t expecting was for one of them to come over while his friends were order.

“You from around here sweetheart?” He asked Macy.

She rolled her eyes turning around.

“No, but my girlfriend is” she put emphasis on the girlfriend part.

I smiled smuggly.

“Why looking for something to do, afraid there’s not much. Why dont you and you’re friend check out Captain Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen, if you’re up for a good scare.”

Macy gave me a look, recognising all the months ago when I told her to stay far away. She grinned.

“Yeah, if you’re man enough.” Macy teased him.

“Oh I’m man enough, we’ll check it out for sure. You two hotties gonna be there”

“You bet!” I sent a fake wink. “See you around handsome.”

Macy and I burst out laughing when we got outside.

“So do I finally get to see your Gruncle’s cabinet of curiosities?”

“We wouldn’t miss that for the world.” I grinned.

They deserved it for being rude or Miss G, and Ogling my girls ass.

“You ready for this?”

“As I’ll ever be I guess. Don’t take it to personally if they don’t like you at first. Otis hates everyone.”

She chuckled, “sounds a lot like Hoyt”

I froze, turning to look at her.

“He is nothing like that man.” I said coldly, I hadn’t meant to.

And I know she didn’t mean to insult him. But Otis was nothing like that Vile man Macy shared blood ties with.

“Sorry, that was meant to be a joke. Won’t happen again.”

“No, I’m- I’m sorry Macy I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’m just a little on edge right now.”

“Blinky you don’t have to apologise for having emotions. You love your dad, and I love that you do.”

I smiled at her, getting onto her bike as usual as we rode back to the house. As we pulled up, I’m sure it was loud enough in the house no one had heard us. I grabbed Macy’s hand and lead her to the garden.

“Where are we going?”

“I gotta check on something first.” I said.

I dragged her around the side of the house, and sure enough there was some fresh dirt. We both stopped and looked down at it.

“Is that?”

“My mother, yeah. Rest in pieces I guess.”

Macy snorted and flipped off the pile of dirt. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“Good, good to know that part of my life is over. I never want to think about her again if I can help it.”

I knelt down and started picking some of the lilies I’d planted a while ago.

“What are you doing Blink?” Macy asked curiously.

I held the flowers up to her.

“Gives these to Mama, than at the very least she’ll like you. If Mama likes you, no one is gonna dare disobey her. Not unless they got hit over the head a few to many times, so maybe don’t talk to RJ.” I joked, “that was a joke btw.”

“You’re cute.”

“So you keep saying.”

“It’s true though. And I’ll keep saying it because it makes you blush every time.”

“You’re evil, you know that woman? Total scum bag.” I said.

“Mmm, and do evil women get a kiss from their partner?” She mused.

“I don’t know, are you gonna be nice when we go inside?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Then I’ll think about it.”

She rolled her eyes, setting the flowers down on the ledge near the house and picked me up, spinning me around. I couldn’t help but giggle, and when she finally stopped she pulled me in to a kiss. I melted into it, feeling all the stress leave my body.

“I’ll behave” she whispered, leaning down so her forehead was on mine.

“And I’ll protect you if anyone tries anything.”

“Aww, my little guard dog.”

I glared up at her.

“Come on, let’s get inside. I’m sure they’re worried about you. I would be too if you suddenly disappeared for 5 days.”

I cringed. Yeah not my best move. But I was glad none the less that Otis let me leave. It was nice to be away from the house for a while. I didn’t need to knock cause I had the house key. I pushed the door open and was immediately greeted by the chaotic sounds of my family. Baby was blasting music in the living room, I could hear Mama and Spaulding chatting in the kitchen, and I have no idea what the hell the others were doing at the back of the house but I could hear it from here.

I grabbed Macy’s hand and dragged her into the kitchen. Spaulding was the first to look up. One thing about him, he never forgot a face.

“Don’t I know you?” He addressed Macy.

“We met a whole back, at that farmers market. Blinky here sold me some of your chicken. Which was really good by the way.”

Smart move, Spaulding loved compliments. Especially about his cooking. He, Mama and Otis cooked the most in the house. Manon specialised more in dinner, and Selena sometimes helped with the prep work.

“These are for you Mrs. Firefly.” Macy held out the flowers and Mama gladly took them.

“Oh how sweet, we’re glad to have you Back Blinky. Why don’t you introduce us to your friend here?”

Mama was always hospitable. Which is why I went to her first.

“Mama, Cap, this is actually my girlfriend. Macy. I stayed with her while I was away.”

“Girlfriend?” Spaulding asked amused.

“Mhhhm, she knows about us.” I clarified so they wouldn’t have to lecturing about keeping someone around being dangerous. “She would never tell anyone.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes sir. My family participated in a similar… hobby.” She explained.

Sure saying you’re a killer is one thing, but I don’t blame her for not wanting to tell them right away.

“When did this happen?” Mama asked, ushering us both to sit.

“Since the Framers Market.”

“All that time and you kept ‘er a secret? Not sure how Otis is gonna feel about this.” Spaulding worried.

“That’s why I came to you both first.”

“You staying for dinner sweetheart?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Of course Sugar, why don’t you go introduce her to the others. Make yourself at home little miss Macy.”

“Thank you Mrs. Firefly.”

“Please call me Mama.”

I gave Mama a quick hug, and kissed Spaulding on the top of his head.

“Can we talk later?” I asked.

“Sure kid, you know where to find me.”

Macy followed me into the living room where I turned down Baby’s music. Not off, just down a little. My head felt like it was buzzing from all the electric guitars. Baby turned to look at me, but her eyes quickly met Macy’s.

“Who’d ya bring for us Blink?” She asked.

I chuckled.

“She’s not for that, Baby, this is my girlfriend, Macy. Macy this is my- aunt? I don’t know we never really defined that.” I laughed awkwardly.

“Aunt, sister, all the same to me. Love this kid no matter what.” She said, holding her hand out to shake Macy’s.

“Can’t say I blame ya, they’re easy to love aren’t they?”

Baby smiled wildly, already approving of the new company.

“We miss ya Blink, it was no fun without ya.” Baby said, wrapping me in a tight hug.

“I’m sure you managed just fine, looks like you were having plenty fun before I interrupted.”

“Mhhhm, RJ got me a new CD!”

“What is he Santa Claus now? Why the sudden interest in gifts?” She shrugged. “You know where the others are?”

“Umm, Ghostie and RJ are watching a movie in his room. And Doe Eyes and Otis-“

“Doe Eyes and Otis what?” I asked suspiciously.

“They’re busy. I’ll let him know you’re home and he’ll come find you later yeah?”

“Alright…”

I squinted my eyes suspiciously.

“She staying for dinenr?”

“Your Ma said I could, that cool with you?”

“Totally cool! You’ll have to tell me where you got the jacket Macy!”

Before they could chat more I was dragging her upstairs to my room, and Baby was blasting her music again. I didn’t want to bother RJ, and there was something suspicious about Baby not telling me what my dad was up to. But we’d see everyone down at dinner so there was no rush. I closed the door and threw myself face down onto the bed, groaning into my pillow.

“I’d say it’s going pretty well Bumble Bee, you had nothing to worry about.”

“It’s not those three I’m worried about?” I said, looking up at her.

“I live with Hoyt, I can handle anything they throw at me. Promise.”

“Pinky?” I asked.

She held out her pinky and locked it with mine, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You feeling ok Darlin’ you’re getting a little shaky there.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m cool… cool cool.”

“That sounds like something someone who is not cool would say.”

I sighed, crawling across my bed to lay my head on her lap.

“Why did she have to come here?” I asked.

Macy looked down at me, playing with one of my bouncy curls.

“I don’t know Blink.” She said sadly.

“It’s like everything was going good, great even. I was happy. So fucking happy!” I said.

“Did you just say fuck?” She raised a brow at me amused.

“Oh, right!” I said popping up and shoving a few bills in my sweat jar, “gotta pay up for what I said to Hoyt too. Even if he did deserve it.”

Macy chuckled.

“You say that like someone’s making you have the swear jar Blinky. Swearing ain’t that bad, I do it all the fucking time.” She smiled.

“Yeah yeah. I know there’s ways you can do it that aren’t mean, I just, I don’t like they way it sounds coming out of my mouth. Besides, a few more slip ups and I can get you something nice.” I smiled.

“You swearing on purpose to get something pretty for your girlfriend?” She asked.

“I’m just being lazy on purpose, the swearing is still an accident.” I laughed.

“I’m sorry your mom tried to ruin this for you, that wasn’t very nice of her.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

I sat back down on the bed next to her.

“Hey Macy?”

“Yes Blinky?”

I know she sometimes got amused when I said her name, even though we were already in the middle of the conversation. But I couldn’t help it. I liked the way her name felt on my tongue. Short and sweet, the exact opposite of her.

“Do you smoke? Like, smoke smoke?” I asked.

She seemed a little taken aback, but smiled anyway.

“I have before yes… why?”

“Do you want to?” I asked.

Now she was grinning from ear to ear.

“Why you got some?” I nodded.

“Honestly don’t think I can go back down there without it. Everything’s too much right now.”

She ran her hand along my arms again.

“Oh, and we should tell Spaulding that he’ll have some special guest at his showing after dinner tonight. Sure if you ask nicely he’ll let you help.” I said.

“You just wanna see me in action.” She mused.

“I will neither confirm or deny” I said, as I reached over in my drawer where some of my pre rolled joints were.

I made some mini ones, just to tell calm my mind on a regular basis. I didn’t want to be high everyday, but my sensory issues were not getting easier and it was the only thing that seemed to help. But I found a regular sized one jammed in the back. I grabbed a lighter from my nightstand and crawled back over to wear Macy sat. She laid down on her back, and I put my head on her stomach, laying perpendicular to her.

“Your family lets you smoke?”

“They know I do sometimes. Baby smokes too. Doe Eyes and Otis have regular cigs if you want one. I could snag a few for you.”

“My little thief” she ruffled my hair.

I was going to need to be actually stoned to survive family dinner. My nerves where getting the better of me. I mean I knew she was dead, we saw the evidence. So why did I still feel so heavy? So lost? Why the hell was I so scared? I didn’t notice tears start to slip until Macy’s big hands were on my face.

“Hey little bug, talk to me.”

I shook my head. Words were suddenly very hard.

“Hey, it’s ok, you’re ok. You’re safe.” She reassured me.

I gave her a pity smile. She reached over, grabbing the joint from my hand and lit it, holding it out to me. I weakly took a puff and laid back down, screwing my eyes shut. She took a hit herself, I couldn’t blame her if she was a little nervous. Anyone would be meeting my family. I know she tried to play strong and tough, but she was human like the rest of us.

She let my hair and held it out for me again. After a little while had passed and half the joint was gone, she spoke again.

“Feeling any better?”

I gave her a slow nod, signing a little.

“Are you non verbal right now Blinky?” She asked.

I was ashamed to say it, and I knew she’d figure it out eventually even if I didn’t tell her. I wasn’t very good about hiding what was wrong with me. And I didn’t want to have to hide it from her. I just wish it wasn’t there in the first place. That I wasn’t so broken and life wasn’t so much harder for me for no reason.

“That’s ok baby, you’re ok. Do you want me to tell them you aren’t feeling well and will skip dinner?”

I shook my head and sighed “Bad idea. You need food”

She playful glared at the irony of my comment.

“Yeah, you’re right. How about I do most of the talking tonight then? I think I can handle ‘em”

“Ok” I signed.

“And Blinky, it’s ok you didn’t tell me. But you don’t have to hide your autism from me ok? I’m actually pretty sure Tommy is on the spectrum too.”

I gave her a look that said “really?”

“Mhmm. But when you’re feeling better, you have to promise to talk to me more ok? I can’t read your mind, and you don’t have to suffer alone anymore ok? Everyone in this house right now wants what’s best for you, ok? I’m not gonna judge you Blinky, I love you.”

That was the first time she’d said it. I mean of course I knew it, and I felt it, and I hope she felt it too. But neither of us had said it seriously before.

“You love me?” I sighed.

“More than anyone I’ve ever known.”

I was able to stutter out a weak “I love you” before I felt too tired to speak again.

I swear it almost looked like she was about to smile too. She kissed the back of my hand, respecting that I was way too overstimulated right now.

“Just relax Darlin’ why don’t you try to nap and I’ll wake you when they say dinners ready?”

I nodded, closing my eyes and snuggling up to her. Weed dreams were always the strangest.

An: the ketchup thing is so funny to me cause I’m allergic 😭 damn my tomato allergy ruining everything! Will write the others meeting her next, this chapter was just getting kinda long lol.

#blinky firefly #Blinky #Macy love-Hewitt #house of 1000 corpses au #Texas chainsaw au #otis driftwood #doe eyes driftwood #ghost firefly #captain spaulding #rj firefly #baby firefly #tiny firefly #mama firefly

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missvelvetsstuff · 2 years

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Fridays Place

Chapter 16

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff

Bucky stood in Friday's yard, in jeans and a trench coat, 'In Your Eyes' by Peter Gabriel playing from the phone and speaker he's holding up, with a hopeful look on his face.

Friday stood on the porch, embracing the teddy bear, unsure of how to react.

When the song finished Bucky put the phone and speaker away and stepped up to the porch. He gazed at Friday with a nervous smile.

"I'm so, so sorry for how I acted the other day. I have no excuse, I know I'm an asshole. I hope you'll give me another chance. Your friendship has come to mean so much to me. I don't want to lose it, to lose you." He pulled a single, long stemmed pink rose out of his coat and offered it to her.

Friday took the rose "I suppose after all that I should at least give you a chance."

Bucky grinned "can I come in?"

Friday looked at him for a minute, deciding "Sure. I was just sitting down to lunch."

They entered the house to find Alpine on the table, eating Friday's tuna sandwich. Friday shoo'd her off. "I already gave you the water, greedy beast. I should have known better than to trust a cat with fish around where you could reach it."

Bucky grinned "Becca said a spray bottle is very helpful for training cats."

Friday scoffed "Tell little Miss Alpine over there. I have a spray bottle and that freak actually likes the water. Even when I spray her in her stupid face. She just shakes her head and poses, like some girl gone wild"

She opened the door "Scoot, she-beast. Before you puke that tuna up on my floor."

Alpine strolled out the door like a queen with her nose up in the air.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh "Cats can be jerks like that. How about I treat you to lunch? We can order anything you want."

Friday smirked at him "It's only fair since you distracted me long enough for the cat to demolish my sandwich. Deli food is good, a turkey club with avocado."

She went to clean up the mess Alpine made and offered a glass of iced tea to Bucky which he accepted. Shortly after she cleaned up, the doorbell rang so she went to grab the food and set up a place for each of them.

Friday noticed the black eye he was sporting "What happened to you? Nat didn't get to you did she?"

He laughed "No, that was Steve but I dont know if I'd admit it if Nat did it. I think I could take her"

She shook her head "Don't be fooled by her size, Nat is scary strong with a nasty temper."

Once they sat and started eating the quiet became uncomfortable. "Well speak up, Barnes." Friday encouraged

Bucky shook his head "I don't know where to start."

Friday nudged him with her foot "I've found that the beginning is the best place."

Bucky rolled his eyes and groaned "How far back is that? I know I came on strong the first time we met, I'm used to women who are easy to charm into my bed but I felt something powerful pull me to you even that first night at the council meeting. You were so passionate, I could tell that your stable and riders and the community really meant a lot to you. My first thought was a need to tame you, control that fire. My little Hellcat. I'm used to having women throw themselves at me and taking what pleasure I could until I got bored with them. I knew I wanted more from you but have trust issues so leaned into the physical attraction and tried to ignore the rest."

He paused and sighed "Right, the beginning.....

I enlisted when I was 18, you know rah rah go USA and all. I had a girl since jr hi, Jenny" he made a face like even just saying her name was distasteful. "I gave her a promise ring our senior year and we started planning for the future. I knew I would be taking over my father's business and she was a strong, loyal girl who I thought would be my queen. I never even saw her after I was shipped out. We wrote back and forth, made all the promises and plans. Until I got hurt. I lost my arm and wrote to explain everything and told her it didn't change anything. She never even came to see me. I was at Walter Reed and got a 'Dear John' letter from her. She couldn't even drive a few hours to see me in person. By the time I made it home for good she was married to someone else."

Bucky stopped to take a bite of his sandwich and drink some tea.

"I shut down emotionally after that. I went to rehab and counseling, spent time with my dad learning all the ins and outs, the little details and threw myself into the business so my dad could step back. I started sleeping my way around the city. Even missing an arm I was still decent looking, rich and powerful, wasn't hard to find women to occupy myself outside of business.

Sharon was supposed to be one of those women. It started as a weekend, then a week and kept going until after a few months she told me she was pregnant. I didn't take it well. Accused her of trying to trap me and pushed hard for her to have an abortion. When she refused and insisted she loved me I begrudgingly decided to give a relationship a shot. She didn't want to get married but she moved in and I took care of her. Well I hired a staff to take care of her. It was a rough pregnancy, Sharon was miserable the whole time. As soon as Becca was born she insisted she needed a nanny so I hired one. Sharon worked to get back in shape after but wouldn't sleep with me even after the doctor cleared her. When Becca was 6 months old I found a burner phone that Brock had given Sharon and the texts detailing their relationship. She went to Brock for the first time the same day that she was cleared to have sex again."

Bucky sighed "You know how she is. She had me trapped but didn't want a kid so threw me away as well. I know we're better off but it hurt like Hell then. After that I promised myself I wouldn't fall again and that I would do everything I could to make sure Becca had the best life I could give her so she wouldn't miss her mom. I went back to purely physical relationships but kept it away from Becca. Dot was just me being lazy and her being desperate to get into my bed"

Bucky sat back and drank down his tea. "When you told me you were mad at me something just clicked. I had been trying to keep my emotions in line but the 2 days you were gone I was a wreck. Every time Brock sent more video I made myself watch it because I thought it was my fault he was hurting you, then I threw up because of what he did. I was ready to take him apart myself but had to stay calm until we could find you and figure out how to get you out. When he first brought you outside and I saw what he had done not just to your body but I saw in your eyes how he crushed your spirit, that fire I love. You wouldn't even look at me. It was like having my guts ripped out. Once you were free and physically healed, I didn't know how to help you. I was so worried when you wouldn't leave your house and so happy when Becca and I were able to get you to come outside, to see you smile and hear your laugh. I can't even explain because I didn't understand it. That seizure scared the shit out of me but when I saw you outside the next day, I felt hopeful that you were doing better."

He stopped to take a deep breath "When you told me you were mad at me I knew better. I had some idea of what you were going through but something deep inside just broke and all the stress boiled up and I spewed it all on you. I knew I was wrong even as I fought with Steve and Sam about it but I couldn't face it because then I'd have to face what a prick I was and how I felt about you.

I just, I lost it. I'm sorry. I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again. I thought about finding someone else to teach Becca but she loves you and after what her mom has put her through I couldn't take you away from her too. I was fully expecting you to tell me to find another stable but please even if you hate me, please let Becca come back."

Bucky ran a hand through his hair "When I realized what I had done I called my florist and jeweler and sent apology gifts like I did with so many women in the past before my dumb ass realized that you aren't so many women and I don't want you to be like them. Steve told me to do the lamest, sappiest, most romantic thing that I would never imagine myself doing and I remembered that movie. I'm hoping you'll give me another chance."

Friday smiled softly at him "I might be persuaded but before we discuss that I think I need to tell you some things about me. You might not want to pursue this.

First thing is, I can definitely feel the attraction. It started purely physical and I was determined to ignore it but then you were so sweet after, uh, everything and I started to feel some kind of way about you. But you have to understand, this will not be some crazy, whirlwind courtship. After everything that happened, physical intimacy is going to take some time. I, uh well I tried and didn't get very far before the feelings overwhelmed me."

Bucky looked confused "You, tried? What do you mean?"

Friday looked down "That's the other thing. And you have to keep this between us right now. You've met Nat. We have a special relationship, deeper than friendship and different than sisterhood. Wanda is my sister, Natalia is my.......Imzadi. I guess that's the best word to describe us but it's a Betazed word so few know it. An empathic, soulmate bond of a sort. We have been lovers for years and I can't promise I'll give that up anytime soon. Sometimes it's been helping each other thru rough times, sometimes we're lonely and most of the time it's because no one knows me or understands me like she does. I know she's seeing Steve but she will tell him when she's ready, it's not our place. You can't tell him. Please" she implored

Bucky nodded, unsure how to take in everything Friday told him. Before he could respond she interrupted "Yes, that means I'm bisexual. No, you can't watch or join us. Our time is very special to us and not for anyone else."

He nodded again, looked puzzled for a minute "Wait, Imzadi like Riker and Troi? Like Star Trek?" He laughed

Friday giggled "I think you're the first person who ever got that reference. I had to explain it to Nat repeatedly before she understood. I'm a nerd, I admit it. I don't know any words that explain it as well.

You're also the first man that I've told who didn't expect to at least be allowed to watch. Even Dave was ticked that I wouldn't let him join us. I think my relationship with Nat is part of why it was so easy for Sharon to convince him that I was a slut and after his money. I was never really part of that crowd, never cared enough about money or appearances. Sharon made it crystal clear over the years that I didn't belong, especially after my mom died and Peggy let me move into the apartment over the barn."

Both sat quietly, eating and trying to figure out where this all left them.

Bucky looked up at Friday and took her hand "I think I'm really falling in love with you. In a way that I haven't allowed myself to fall since Jenny. If you're willing to forgive me for being an ass I can wait until you're ready." He shrugged "It's been like months anyhow and I've formed a close, intimate relationship with my hand so I can hold out for awhile"

Friday smiled "Are you sure about that? I've heard all about you and your girls. Didn't sound like you were ready for the priesthood or anything."

Bucky blushed "I want to confide something in you but it has to stay between us, I have a reputation to uphold. The last time I called one of those girls, it didn't work."

"What do you mean? She block you or something?"

Bucky rubbed his neck "You misunderstand me 'It' didn't work."

Friday looked confused "What do you mean it didn't-" her eyes got wide "You mean 'IT' didn't" and she glanced towards his crotch "Ooohhh. It I mean, you-" she giggled.

He cut her off "Yeah, I mean that. The worst part" he leaned in and whispered "It worked just fine in my shower when I thought of you."

Friday felt her face heat up and she stammered "Well but I didn't um I uh wow ok yeah. Yeah"

Bucky smirked at her, back to the cocky mob boss "If just thinking about you was that good, and it definitely was, I'm sure the real thing will be well worth the wait"

He smiled seeing how flustered she was "As far as your Imzadi? I wouldn't dream of messing with that kind of connection or expect to be included. And I won't breathe a word to Steve, he can figure it out on his own."

Friday laughed nervously and was about to respond when Bucky's phone rang making both of them jump.

He looked at his phone "Shit, it's Becca. She's about ready to kill me since I haven't brought her to see Hilde. Is it ok if I go get her and bring her back for some Hilde time?"

Friday nodded and he answered his phone "Hi sweetheart, how-" Becca could be heard yelling at her dad "I know honey, I'm sorry I've had some- I know baby I'm sorry I-. Ok Becca, I'm on my way to pick you up and we'll go see Hilde. Ok? Yes baby, I know. I'll be there in a few minutes. Let grandma know, ok? Ok like 10 minutes I'll be there. Ok. When we get to the stable you can ask Friday if we can order pizza."

Bucky shook his head "That's one upset little girl. I better get her." He looked at Friday nervously "Is it ok if I hug you?"

She nodded and he leaned forward, very gently hugging Friday for a few seconds too long and kissed her softly on the cheek "I'll be back in a bit."

Chapter 17

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #friday's place #mob!au

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angelsndragons · 3 years

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*sing* it's been ~a while~

and i have been watching vm vs the nein a lot so let's talk about it. as always with me, this is a very long word vomit.

i said over on my mechanics post that the vm playbook requires urgency while the nein's playbook requires setup. here's what i mean. if the nein can make it to round 3-4 intact, that is if all of them are up, they are going to win. period. the nein simply have too many ways to steal turns from their enemies or to maximize their own effectiveness for things to go any other way.

if you want to see this in action even with a reduced roster, go watch the fire elemental fight in episode 129 and count the rounds. between caduceus' mass cure wounds and spirit guardians, caleb's slow, veth's sneak attacks, and jester's guiding bolts, the nein were able to scrape out a win thanks more to their bag of tricks than the damage output. veth only got sneak attack because of guiding bolt's secondary effects, slow kept veth safe from an opportunity attack and jester from a multi-attack, mass cure wounds gave caleb that round to cast slow, and the spirit guardians passively whittled down the enemies into KO range. the accumulated secondary effects were too much for the enemies to withstand and they fell hard. notice how everything built on one another here. that's what cockroach parties learn to do well. it was sloppier than a normal nein fight but they did it with a reduced roster AND with nearly all of their high level spell slots spent before the fight. yeah, they're fucking scary.

vm, however, is a whole different kind of scary. this team can put you down before you even know what's happening. it's harder to target the group's biggest damage dealers because you have a hulking barbarian and often an elemental up front locking down combatants. the dagger rogue can teleport and fly. oh, and give himself an extra action each round. the ranger and the gunslinger can stand back and just go to town. the freaking bear can maul you. the bard can make your life a living joke in your final moments. the cleric is a wildcard because the group is built to fight without her; if she's around, good luck because that's another round of attacks you have to take and an extra round vm can take. their DCs are ridiculous, as are their overall ACs.

but the thing to know about vm is that they have to put you down fast. they don't have the hit points for longer fights and they definitely don't have the utility for longer fights. their druid is offensively oriented, their cleric is often absent, and their bard is mostly support. he's often the only one running that bag of tricks. he can and will fuck up an opposing team given the chance and bolster his own, the problem is that he has almost no backup here. it's a giant hole that is begging to be exploited. it's an even bigger hole when that bard can only cast one spell per round.

so, going into the battle royale, the vm side had to down one member of the nein as fast as possible preferably in two rounds or fewer. it almost doesn't matter who, because if you down beau or fjord, that forces jester or fjord to spend their action or spell getting the downed member back up. if jester goes down, fjord has to do something about it. well, i say it almost doesn't matter but beau's deflect missiles makes her the worst target of the trio and yes, i'm including fjord's half-orc bounce back in that calculation. that gives you one round where the person healing isn't fucking up your team. vm's secondary objective was to monitor and control beau. her movement is nothing to compared to a hasted vax but her stunning strike is the most lethal weapon the nein brought into this fight. vm overall is not a melee group to begin with and their con saves are all garbage. vm has to find a way to keep her off their tails if they want a chance. we also know that vm's plan was to try to take out jester first so throw that objective into the mix as well.

all the nein have to do is survive the first couple rounds, monitor scanlan and pike, and get into position. that's basically it. the nein can absolutely withstand vax and percy's damage output for the first two rounds. pike and scanlan's damage output can be scary but pike in particular has to decide whether she wants to hold high level slots for healing. and she would need those higher level slots to get close to percy and vax's damage output. the nein know from experience that the support caster is where the real trouble will begin.

but before we kick things off, remember that matt specifically designed this battlefield to take turns away from the teams. the chests are an action to search and are located far out of the way in the field. the gem requires an action to activate, which basically means sacrificing your action for someone else's, and shifts between six designated points on the field. matt, who has a deep understanding of how both teams operate, decided to play on the nein's insecurities that they were at a severe item disadvantage and see if he could get them to bite. high risk, high reward. granted, this is me speculating but it does look like matt saw the fight very differently from the players and readjusted the field accordingly.

so we kick off and immediately scanlan proves why he is the top priority on the nein's list. he gets the gem, gets fjord prone on the ground, and comes within a hair's breadth of turning the fight into a five on two potential slaughter. travis brilliantly responds to these circumstances in the best of ways. see, fjord isn't the nein's utility magician for this fight; fjord's the bait. travis makes a very big spectacle of himself and fjord's predicament. and vm buys it hook, line, and sinker. ashley tries to continue with the original plan of gunning for jester only to discover that jester is who knows where.

vax, percy and scanlan? immediately take their shots at fjord. but fjord's on the ground which puts percy's awful misfire mechanic into reasonable play. so fjord gets lucky and doesn't take anywhere near the amount of damage he could have from percy. scanlan, after percy is removed from the field, decides he's better off trying to finish fjord but only hits a 3rd level thunder wave instead of a higher level one, which sam was probably saving for some counterspells or such. i don't think a higher level would have made that much of a difference but it is important to note.

more importantly, vax gets greedy. he got two good hits on fjord with his two actions, he could have left and hidden for the next turn. yes, vm has to down fjord as fast as possible. however that haste is going to be more effective over the long term if vax can keep it. but fjord's easy prey and he thinks vm can down him before jester can get over there to do anything about it. so he goes for the bonus action attack. pike eventually joins this mad dash scramble and like scanlan, she absolutely needed to throw something huge at fjord to get past his half-orc racial trait to have a prayer at downing him. but she did not because ashley seems to have been saving all her high levels for healing so fjord survives the round in honestly a very good position. vax can't target him from range with the cloud up, scanlan now has bigger problems than fjord with molly right up on him, and pike ran, taking damage and healing fjord in the process.

meanwhile, the nein's ladies are free to run and play the field as they see fit. jester has a big opening round flame strike. beau decides she can hold off on her round 2 blitz run to vm in favor of bringing molly onto the field. remember kids, never let a monk with 55ft of movement have the run of the place, it's bad for business. jester then makes a great play with her dispel magic at vax's haste. hashtag thanks, fjord. remember, kids, cockroach parties excel at taking turns and actions away from their opponents. in round 2 alone, the nein successfully remove percy from the field and remove vax's extra attack. that's both big damage dealers hobbled in one round. they also gave themselves an extra turn, adding molly onto the field. and oh boy, molly.

here we see the utility martial fighter molly could have been. sam's confused by the low damage that molly's doing his first round but the damage isn't really the point of the attacks. that brand of tethering is far more important, as are taliesin keeping an eye on which reactions will support the nein and molly's second attack wasting scanlan's reaction. counterspell is off the table for the back half of round 2-beginning of round 3, which is important if fjord wants to get the heck out of dodge.

in case it wasn't obvious earlier in the match that the nein are absolutely gunning for scanlan, round 3 begins with beau's blitz against scanlan. fjord's luck against the dominate person balances out with scanlan's save against the stun and beau missing one attack. here, vm starts to get distracted. they chose their focus fire target, fjord, but now do not, arguably cannot, follow through on it. we'll never know what could have happened had vm said to hell with beau and molly in our faces, we have to finish fjord.

vax tries to retaliate against beau but here's where the cockroach starts to come into play. molly blood curses vax, which saves beau a full sneak attack+ worth of damage. it also utterly wastes vax's turn. fjord manages to escape (and damage pike while he's at it) and regroup where it's safe. scanlan tries to dimension door but fails due to the brand. literally any other move scanlan could try on the pair of them had a better chance of success. instead, another vm turn is lost. taliesin recognizes the importance of getting beau advantage and supports her at the cost of two of his attacks missing, but not before scanlan is forced to cutting words one of them. another potential counterspell and cutting words lost. neither jester or pike contribute significantly to this round; the nein have done so much damage to pike in three rounds that she is forced to heal herself while jester chooses to dimension door herself to the gem and only a low damage roll lets it evade her.

beau takes molly's setup and gets the critical scanlan stun. he loses his full round. fjord takes the opportunity molly provided him to polymorph into a t-rex, bringing him fully back into the fight. vm is really going to have a time and a half trying to finish him now unless they can put up a big single damage attack. jester builds on beau's setup by casting flame strike, whose dex save scanlan automatically fails. he goes down. if you're the nein, this is exactly where you want pike focused, on her team and not on yours. she has access to most of the same spells that jester has and the more you pressure her to focus on her team, the better. it's not wasting her turn, precisely, but it is controlling what she can reasonably do with it.

now we come to percy versus beau. i don't want to diminish the insane good luck beau had to take only 26 points of damage from six shots because what matters here is that percy absolutely could not down beau. period. her hit points were too high and after she took almost nothing from the first two shots, it should have been clear that she was going to get her turn and she would absolutely attempt to stun and down pike and scanlan. i'm not going to monday morning quarterback this fight but i will point out that the more rolls travis has to make to maintain concentration, the greater the chance he fails and you get to hit fjord's actual hit point pool and trade fjord for scanlan. and if you can get him before he can get back into the fray, even better.

beau stuns the gnomes and drops scanlan again. her inner cockroach rears its head once more as she negates more than half the damage on vax's critical hit sneak attack. fjord-rex downs scanlan and grapples pike. the stun on pike here really helps negate that high AC of hers. after scanlan's death, it's a long slow death spiral. vax abandons the fight in the next critical round in favor of keeping the gem instead of targeting fjord. percy attacks beau once more instead of fjord due to fjord dangling pike over lava. he starts to focus on fjord only to get distracted by jester. pike goes down but vax gets caught by beau before he can get her back up. and so it goes with vm losing turn after turn after turn until finally the nein poof percy out of existence and bring molly back. a fitting end for the team who started their final boss fight with eight and came out nine.

bottom line here, the vm team played like they had way more time than they actually did. they had to commit to a target and see it dead as fast as possible. they had to control the battlefield quickly and keep it. they didn't so they couldn't. aside from building on damage dealt, they couldn't create advantages or opportunities for each other nearly as effectively as nein did. all of these factors meant that the nein did what they always do: grind their enemies under heel.

#critical role #cr meta #critical role spoilers #vm vs m9 #vox machina vs mighty nein #d&d mechanics #vox machina #mighty nein #the mighty nein #cr spoilers #my meta #long post #don't let your opponents run circles around you kids #control the battlefield or the enemy will control you #teamwork makes the dream work

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wormstacheangel · 3 years

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For The Girl Who Has Everything

Masterpost link for Reelin’ In The Years: Here

AO3 Link: Here

wc: 2.4k Summary: Claire is too mad to even look at Cas let alone talk to him. Dean knew he had to step up because two people with messed up childhoods and anger issues really need to spend more time together talking about their feelings.

When Chuck was defeated, a lot of people came to the bunker to celebrate. Those times were a big blur to Dean, his focus was on finding a way to save Cas, and it wasn’t until he saw Claire run down those steps that the world focused again. She smiled at him, a rare big grin, before her arms wrapped around his neck to bring him down for a hug with an intoxicating giggle.

‘She didn’t know,’ Dean thought as his arms hung loosely at his sides.

He hid his face in her curls, not knowing how to face another kid Cas left behind because of him. He was holding his breath when she pulled away to look at him. Her eyebrows were raised in a question that Dean didn’t hear. Didn’t want to hear.

She repeated it, “Dude, where’s Cas? Is the old man sleeping or something?”

‘Yes.’ Dean swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

He didn’t look at the audience around them when he finally opened his mouth to say, “Claire, Ca—” He couldn’t say his name. He felt like it would tear the fragile wall that was keeping him on his feet if he did. “I’m sorry.”

Dean watched as her face twisted into confusion, understanding, and then settling into anger.

She was trying to fight the tears, but they fell as she yelled, “No! No, you were—Where were you? Why didn’t you protect him?”

“He protected me. He—he saved me.”

She looked at him with round eyes, shaking her head as if not wanting to believe it.

“Then it should’ve been you! You should’ve died! Not him!” Dean flinched at the words that have been echoing in his head since that night. “It’s not fair!”

Claire’s angry fist collided with his chest. He flinched at every hit but didn’t back away as her punches became sporadic but still filled with grief. Maybe even guilt.

“I’m sorry.” Dean knew those words did nothing to comfort, but he couldn’t help but say them. “I’m so sorry, Claire.”

She screamed in frustration until her punches weakened, and he was holding her. Then, finally, she fell against him, her face hidden in his chest as her grip tightened on his shirt.

She didn’t stay after that.

She walked back up the stairs with Jody and Kaia following behind her. Jack tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t even look at him. Dean couldn’t blame her.

It’s hard to look at the kid when he reminded them of the person they lost.

Of course, Dean never told Cas any of this.

Since coming back, Cas had been dealing with the silent treatment from the killer Barbie. She only replied with the thumbs-up emoji, and when Cas was too much, she responded with the middle finger emoji. A little warning advising Cas to back off.

She only visited him once, but that was when Cas was in the hospital. She freaked out, yelled at him for being stupid, and then passed out by his bed only to leave the next morning like nothing ever happened. Still, it made Cas feel a little better knowing she still cared, but she was dealing with it her way. Or, as Cas liked to say, she was dealing with feelings the Dean Winchester way. Of course, he’ll argue it wasn’t true, but he knows he won’t win that one.

Now he was sitting awkwardly in Jody’s living room watching Kaia and Patience play with Jack on the floor while Claire and Cas had a yelling match in the privacy of the backyard. Well, Claire was yelling while Cas was trying very hard to keep his tone even, which only made Claire angrier.

“I’m done talking to you!” Claire slid the glass door open and stormed through the living room.

“Then try listening to me!” Cas followed behind her, watching as she walked straight past the living room and towards the front door. “Claire. Claire, where are you going?”

She whipped around to glare daggers at Cas, eyes wide filled with tears, but she still looked at him with a pained grimace. “Did you even think of me? When you were out there being a damn hero. Did you-Did you think of me?” Her voice breaking on the last word made Dean flinch.

“Claire, of course-”

“No. No, of course, you didn’t. Cause if you did, then you wouldn’t have-” She bit her cheek as tears started to fall. She stood tall, presenting as strong, as her expression hardened. “You left me, Castiel. And now I-I don’t,” She looked around the room. It was quiet as everyone watched the interaction before her eyes landed on a little Jack in Kaia’s arms. She clicked her tongue before turning back to the door. “I’m leaving.”

“Claire.” Cas tried following her, but Dean quickly rushed up to stop him. “Dean. I may not have my strength, but I will-”

“Calm down, Rocky,” Dean had a hand on Cas’s shoulder to stop him. “I just wanted to stop you from making it worse.”

“I don’t think I can. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t.” He assures his boyfriend with a little smile, but Cas simply rolled his eyes at him. “Okay, you stay here. Talk to your son, and I’ll go talk to the other kid.”

“Oh yeah? What are you going to say to her?”

“I don’t know, but like you said before. Two fuck up’s just understand each other.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just let me handle this. You trust me, right?”

Cas made a face at that, not answering quickly enough before he said, “Just bring her home.”

“Gee. Thanks for the confidence, babe.”

Dean ran after Claire, forcing his way to her passenger side as she started to back up on the driveway.

“Thanks for waiting, kid. Where we going?” Dean buckled up just in time for Claire to slam the breaks. Unfortunately, he hit his head on the front dash because the damn seat was scooted forward, his knees were practically pressed against his chest, which made sense knowing a tiny Kaia would usually occupy the seat. “Ow.”

“You aren’t going anywhere. Get out.”

Dean ignored her scary and oddly familiar glare as he pushed the seat back so his legs could fit. “Oh, come on. My treat.”

She didn’t have time to argue because Cas walked out of the front door—his trust in him really was lacking—and Claire decided that dealing with Dean was much easier than having to talk to Cas again. But, of course, he would take that as a compliment.

Claire drove with loud rocker girl music vibrating the windows and didn’t stop until she finally parked outside some ice cream shop.

“I want a shake.” She sniffled, and Dean did his best to ignore her red blotchy eyes for her sake.

“Sure, kid.”

They drank their shakes and shared some fries while sitting on top of Claire’s ugly little red. Well, she sat, and he leaned, but either way, silence remained.

He didn’t want to pressure her to talk—she would probably lie if he did—but still, he wanted to ease the tension between Cas and her, salvage a relationship he knew was important to both of them, but he didn’t know where to start.

Maybe he could start with his own guilt.

“I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat as he felt the smooth ice cream start to turn to gum down his throat. He looked down at his shake, lifting the straw up and down to hear the gloppy sound while trying to figure out what to say to her.

She hummed, “‘bout what?”

“Not telling you. About Cas. What happened to him.” He sighed and looked back at her. “Sorry. I should have called, but I wasn’t—I was a mess. I couldn’t be there for you. I couldn’t even be there for Jack. I should have-”

“It’s okay.” She waved her hand up to stop him. “I-I get it. I mean, it’s not, but whatever.”

“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re mad?”

She rolled her eyes, once again the gesture was familiar, before slamming the shake on the hood and sliding off the car. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking so small as she kicked a pebble on the floor.

“He replaced me.”

Her voice was quiet. Almost like she didn’t want to admit it out loud.

“I know it’s stupid and-and I’m acting like a child, but…” She quickly sniffled again before running her hand through her hair nervously. Looking up to stare into the darkening sky, acting like everything was okay. “He’s not my Dad, but he’s the closest thing I have, and I just thought—I just thought that maybe he felt the same way.”

She shrugged, her lips pinching together as if trying to hold something back, before retaking control of her expression. A glare directed towards Dean replaced the lost child stare into the stars, but the lost child was still there.

“Kid…” Dean sighed, head scrambling for words.

“I’m not a kid.”

“You’ll always be a kid to me.”

Claire teased with a little smirk. She definitely learned this from Dean or Jody. “Whatever you say, old man.”

“Old—Claire.” She let out a breath of a laugh before rolling her eyes away from Dean. “I’m trying to be serious. Cas… he loves you. He-he loves you like you were his own.” She didn’t look at him, but he could see her face scrunch up, ready to argue. “He worries about you constantly, and Jack knows all about you because he won’t shut up about how awesome you are.”

“He says that? He says I’m awesome?”

“Well, awesome is my word, but you get the gist.” He turns to face her even though she doesn’t meet his gaze. “Cas may not be your Dad, but he loves you like a daughter. Sometimes—yeah, a lot of the time actually—he makes stupid decisions, but it’s cause he is trying his best. And he cares. That dumbass cares way too much about the damn world, but he’s also someone who would give up the whole world if it meant keeping you safe.”

“Stop making excuses for him!”

“Claire, you gotta believe me. He didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She finally turned to look at him. “But he did. He hurt me! He left me!”

“He left me too!” Dean raised his voice; it sounded broken to admit such a thing out loud. And to Claire of all people. He slumped down against the car again and looked at the ground to ignore her big blue eyes throwing sympathy glares his way. “He left me—more times than you know. And—and don’t tell anyone I told you this—but I…I was scared. Each goddamn time I’m scared that this may be it! That this time…this time he won’t come back to me.”

“But he did.” Her voice sounded so far away.

“Yeah. Had to work a little bit harder on my end, but I got him.” He reached over and patted her shoulder. “We got him back.”

Something in the way her eyes went cold and far away made his fight drain out. He didn’t know what else he could do or say, but he opened his arms just in time to have her fall against him. His face mushed into her curls while he hugged her tight into his chest.

“Were you mad at Cas?”

Dean thought about it for a second. “No. I mean, I was at first. That asshole got himself killed over and over again. Leaving me alone.”

“But you had Sam. Jack.”

“Yeah,” Dean pulled back and looked down at her. “Well, you had Jody. Kaia. Alex. Patience and even Donna. Made it any easier for you?”

“No.”

“No.” He chuckled while she hid her face from him, asking him to continue. “But I was mad at him. Real fucking pissed, actually. At him. At…at everyone. Sam and Jack didn’t even wanna be near me.” He tries to shake off those dark memories of screaming and feeling nothing but agonizing loneliness. “I just shut down and gave up on…a lot of things because he was gone. Couldn’t really see a point, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I get why you’re mad, Claire. Trust me, I do, but he’s back now.”

“And I’m just supposed to forgive him? Did you just forgive him?”

Dean shrugged, looking back down at her sad baby blues. Hoping she would understand and that she won’t tease him about it later on. “I didn’t want to waste any time being mad at him. I love him too much.”

“Gross.” She pushed him away this time, tucking her hair behind her ear before smiling at him. It reminded him of Jack’s little shy smile. “But I-I think you’re right. Maybe I’m done wasting time.”

They drove back with the music luckily a little lower but Dean just watched Claire drive with a growing smile on his face. He’s gonna have to admit that Cas was right, two messed up people can really relate and help each other out.

When they walked into the house, Dean took Jody from marching over to Claire to lecture her. “Just wait,” he whispered to her, and luckily she listened to him. They both held their breath as Claire walked over to Cas—who looked like he had been sitting in that seat freaking out since they left—and asked if they could try talking outside again. He blinked up at her a few times before nodding, following her to the backyard again.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief when the glass door closed behind them.

“Dean.” He looked up towards his kid, who reached for him from Kaia’s arms on the couch. Dean quickly walked over to pick him up, pressing a kiss to his head while trying not to let guilt eat at him. “Is Dad okay?”

“Don’t worry, bud.” Dean watched Jack’s eyes that showed how much he has experienced, how much he understood. “He’ll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

On the drive back, Cas had a smile plastered across his face. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about what happened, considering Cas walked in, ready to introduce Jack to Claire. Then Cas spent the rest of the night watching his kids getting along, looking the happiest Dean had seen him in a really long time.

“So, what did you and Claire talk about?”

Cas hummed before looking up at Dean as if just remembering that he was there. “Oh. Um, she just made me promise her something.”

“And what’s that?”

“Same thing I promised you. Don’t get dead anymore.”

“Oh. Good. Keep that promise.”

“I’ll do my best.” Cas looked back at Jack before he leaned over and pressed a kiss on Dean’s cheek. “I have a lot to live for now. A family.”

A family. Yeah.

Dean took a peek at Jack with the mirror and then watched as Cas changed his phone background pic to one of Claire spinning Jack around in the living room.

They were a real family.

#shhhh we are gonna pretend it hasn't been months since i updated lol #4 months geez okay well have this #wormstachewrites #dadstiel #destiel #claire #baby!jack #dean #cas #jack #destiel fanfic

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deanstead · 3 years

Text

Scared The Hell Out Of Me

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Request by @deandaydreaming: Can I pleaaase request an angsty dean x reader one shot where they get separated during a hunt and when they finally find each other she gets stabbed in the back (just like what happened to Sam) and she's bleeding so much and he nearly loses her...can you pleaaase include all the details, that makes it easier to imagine the story! Thank you so much! Love you 💚

Warnings: mentions of injury/blood, angst, fluff

A/N: Hope you like how this turned out and what I did with it! Always love writing about protective dean so thank you for the request!! As always would appreciate to hear what you guys think so hit up my ask/replies or even tags when you reblog! Thanks for all the love!

---

The door creaked as you pushed it open with one foot.

Being alone in a potentially haunted abandoned building was not what you had in mind when you had agreed with Sam that three of you should take on this case.

You’d entered the building with Sam and Dean but had lost them in the labyrinth of a building about half an hour ago. Your cell wasn’t working either, probably because the spirit or spirits were interfering with the signal.

You raised your gun as you walked out of the room, hesitating a little before letting your voice travel a little tentatively down the corridor. “Dean?”

You were met with silence.

You gritted your teeth but treaded carefully, swiveling your head this way and that, straining your ears to hear the sound of footsteps.

That’s when you felt it, a slight gust of wind before the hairs on the back of your neck rose.

You spun around, finding yourself facing the spirit. You gave a yelp of surprise, but before you could even pull the trigger, you felt it throw you backwards.

You groaned as you felt yourself slam against the wall, the force of it knocking the breath out of you and you sank to the ground. You didn’t have time to hesitate. Staring at the spirit that was now holding a knife, you pulled your gun upwards and let out a shot, the salt pellet shooting out of your gun.

---

Dean’s head snapped up as he heard a gunshot ring out.

“Y/N.” He muttered as he ran towards the sound.

“Dean, wait!” Sam called and Dean spun around. “I’ll go down to the basement. If I’m right, I might be able to find the bones there.”

Dean hesitated.

“I’ll be fine.” Sam said, turning away. “Find her.” Sam stressed, running in the opposite direction.

Dean started running. He’d been looking for you since you had been separated. He didn’t like not knowing where you were, especially in the middle of a hunt – a hunt for a violent spirit that was taking place in a huge abandoned building.

Dean glanced at his phone, the no signal sign still flashing. Gritting his teeth, he picked up his pace, moving towards where he thought the gunshot had come from, hoping he was running in the right direction.

---

You groaned, your shoulder throbbing from the impact with the wall.

“Damn spirits.” You muttered, clambering to your feet and looking around again. You really hated hunting spirits, they were nasty and unless you knew where their remains were, it was almost impossible to fight them.

You hated spirits. But even more than that, you hated spirits that could freaking hold weapons.

The sound of footsteps made you turn your head again. Your gun still held protectively out in front of you as it got nearer and nearer.

“Dean.” You exhaled as you saw your favourite person in the world round the corner.

Dean’s expression echoed your feeling of relief – glad that he was safe and also feeling much better just being able to see his face again.

“Y/N.” Dean’s relief could be heard in his voice as he moved towards you, smiling, letting his hand which was gripping his gun fall to his side.

It happened in an instant. The hairs on the back of your neck rose and you saw Dean’s expression change. Then, you felt it – a sharp pain in your lower back as you felt the knife pierce your skin. You let out a strangled cry as you felt the knife twist.

“No! Y/N!” Dean yelled, pulling out his gun to shoot, aiming straight for the spirit that was behind you. Before he could even pull the trigger, the spirit gave a cry as it went out in flames. Sam had done it, he’d found the remains, salted and burned it. Just a few seconds too late

“Y/N!” Dean sprinted to you as you fell to your knees. It felt like your whole life force was being sucked out of you, you could almost feel the energy seeping out of you bit by bit.

Dean closed the gap between you, sliding the last few inches on his knees, taking you by your shoulders the moment you were within reach.

“D…”

“No, no, no…” Dean muttered, pulling you towards him. Your face fit snugly into his shoulder like it always did but this time, Dean didn’t like how motionless you were. He reached his hand around to your back, finding the penetration wound from the spirit’s attack, pressing his hand against it.

When Dean pulled away, his hand was stained with blood. Your blood. Enough blood that Dean was really worried. It didn’t look like something a little patching up would fix. Dean pressed down on your wound again.

Dean pulled you upwards. “Hey, hey, look at me.” He spoke, putting his free hand to your face.

Your eyes were fluttering shut. “No, no, sweetheart please.” Dean whispered. “Baby, don’t give up on me.”

“Dean, I can’t…” You muttered.

“No, no. Don’t give up on me, honey. You’re okay, you’re going to be okay.” Dean pleaded.

“Y/N?” Dean felt your body go limp in his arms.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled, his voice echoing against the walls.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice broke through Dean’s panic. He hadn’t even heard his brother’s footsteps. “Oh god.” Sam whispered.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, pulling Dean out of his paralyzing fear. “We have to get her out of here. I’ll get the car, come on.”

Dean pulled himself up, scooping your motionless body into his arms, one of his hands still pressed onto your back.

The empty building felt even larger than it had felt just now. Dean picked up his pace as quick as he could with you in his arms, running after Sam.

Dean held you close to him, laying you into the Impala and climbing into the backseat with you as Sam jumped into the car and started the engine.

Laying your head gently on his lap, Dean quickly shed his jacket, rolling it up into a ball and pushing it under you, pressing it against the wound.

“Sam, faster.” Dean said through gritted teeth as he looked down at you.

“You hang in there, you hear me?” Dean whispered, as Sam pressed harder on the accelerator, speeding towards the hospital.

---

Sam pulled up the hospital as Dean scrambled out, scooping you back into his arms and onto a stretcher the nurses had brought out.

Dean followed close behind as the nurses pushed you in, a doctor catching up to them and already starting to examine you.

“We have to take her into surgery.” The words echoed in Dean’s head while he stood frozen, staring past the doctor, his eyes focused on you lying motionless in the treatment room of the emergency department.

“Thank you.” Sam’s voice sounded from next to Dean, causing Dean to pull his eyes away from you for just a moment, nodding to the doctor.

It was only after you were wheeled into surgery that Dean noticed his hands were still shaking.

Sam put a hand on Dean’s shoulder but he shrugged it off, choosing to pace up and down in the waiting room, looking down at his hands that were still stained with your blood. When Sam tried to coax him into washing off the blood, Dean gave his brother a furious look. “I’m not going anywhere.” Dean snapped.

It felt like hours before the surgeon finally stepped out.

“The injury was severe and she lost a lot of blood. The penetration nicked some of her internal organs and we found a massive internal bleed as well.” The doctor said.

Dean didn’t say anything, staring straight at the doctor.

“It wasn’t easy, but we managed to control the bleeding and repaired it. If you had come in any later, we might have lost her.” The doctor finally said, looking from Dean to Sam.

Dean let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as Sam let out a sigh of relief as well.

“Can we see her?” Dean asked, keeping his voice steady.

The doctor nodded, “We’ll transfer her to recovery in a while. A nurse will be by to get you.”

“Thanks Doctor.” Sam responded.

---

The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes a few hours later was Dean’s face hovering above yours.

“Sight for sore… everything.” You muttered.

Dean sighed.

“You scared the hell out of me.” Dean said. You could see the thin stress lines in his forehead, the way his green eyes watched you carefully, as if afraid you would slip past him again.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

Dean’s eyebrows twitched a little before he shook his head. “I could hear you, Dean.” You whispered. “I could hear you calling me, talking to me… I just couldn’t answer you. I couldn’t…” You paused. “That was scary as hell.”

Dean sighed, scooting a little closer to you. “You’re telling me. I thought I was going to lose you.”

You reached for his hand. “I’m sorry.” You whispered again.

Instead of answering you, Dean bent towards you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before putting an arm around you, tucking you tightly into him as you closed your eyes, once again enveloped by the feeling of safety of Dean’s mere presence.

---

DEAN WINCHESTER TAGLIST

@akshi8278 | @mrspeacem1nusone | @starlight-halstead

If you would like to be added to a taglist, you may request here or send me an ask!

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iheartbookbran · 3 years

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Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

#yes i wrote this whole thing because i actually love the ‘if they are monsters so am i’ quote and i’m trying to push my agenda on others #jk i spend like half a minute in an anti dany blog and i was like. war #but i don’t regret it so #daenerys targaryen #stormborn #pro daenerys #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #meta #my meta

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literaila · 4 years

Text

we work so well between the lines

spencer reid x reader

warnings: angst. cause... thats all i can write. theres a lot of anxiety mentions, and panicking so if thats triggers you just click away..... again its pretty shitty. please enjoy.

Y/N was still working.

Lately, it seemed, she’d been working later and later, with barely any space between each report she filled out. She woke up and got on her computer, she worked until late afternoon when there was no chance of her ignoring the monster in her stomach, and once she was finished eating she was back to work. And then at almost one in the morning she went to sleep for four hours. Then woke up and did it again.

It was an unorganized schedule.

She ignored her phone, ignored the different notifications coming in, ignored her friends who kept asking if she was busy, if she could come out that night. She didn't have the energy to answer them, didn't have the energy to focus on anything but work.

She stayed in her pajamas all day, her hair was greasy and her skin was dry. She was too busy working to take a shower.

She was waiting for a phone call, just one. She was waiting for him to call her, waiting in the living room that they shared, in the apartment that was theirs, waiting for him in the home that they had made together. She was just waiting. She missed him so much.

Y/N pretended she wasn't. She pretended she was just so caught up in her work, she just had so much work to do, she just couldn't be doing anything else. The work needed her, she thought over and over again. She pretended that working, and barely eating, and not showering, and just working in a house that hadn't been cleaned in days, she pretended all of that was normal.

She was so good at pretending.

There was a part of her- the part that wouldn't shut up in her mind, that wouldn’t just leave her alone. The part that refused to pretend with the rest of her- that knew something was missing. Knew that she was still waiting for a text, a call, even an email. But the same part of her knew it wouldn't come, knew that she was just pretending, knew that she was such a bad liar.

She didn't pay attention to that part.

She put it out of her mind. She pretended there was nothing she was waiting for, nothing at all.

And there wasn't anyone she was missing.

***

Spencer was exhausted.

The case was exhausting.

His job was exhausting.

He felt like laying down and never waking up. That's how tired he was.

It stayed silent on the plane ride home, the entire team had been gone for almost two weeks. Two weeks of non-stop working, and new bodies, and screams. Screams that danced around their heads, and images they never could seem to forget.

None of them had enough energy to joke, or play cards, or even bother talking about the case.

Two weeks was scary for all of them, it was hard to be away from their families, from their own beds. It was scary to think it took them two weeks to find a murderer, it was sad to think about all the lives that were lost in the process.

Spencer was ready to get home, ready to feel the comfort of his bookshelves, and his soft bed. He was ready to get out of the hotel. He was ready to sleep without having to think about the murderer that was still running loose while they were sleeping.

It was late when they finally arrived back in Virginia, the sun had fallen, and you could barely see any stars.

None of them bothered saying goodnight, there was an unspoken agreement between the teams that they were just going home. They all just wanted to get home.

Hotch and JJ had their boys to tuck in, it was hard for both of them to be so far away from their babies for so long.

Derek and Emily wanted to get the last two weeks off of their minds, they wanted to relax within their own homes, a place where they both felt safe.

Penelope was safe at home, snoring while she slept, with no nightmares for the first time in days.

Rossi had not been as affected as the rest of the team, used to staying away from home, but he was ready to get back to his kitchen.

And Spencer was just ready.

It took effort for him to stay awake on the drive home, almost dozing off more than a couple of times as his eyes begged to be shut. Eventually, he made it though, back to his apartment that he hadn't seen in two weeks.

He was ready to see Y/N, ready to talk to her, to see her face, to feel her skin. He was ready to sleep next to her again, ready to feel her body heat, ready to wake up to her face. Ready to sleep.

It was terrifying to leave her alone in their small apartment for two weeks, terrifying to be so far away from her. It was so hard not to call her all the time, to check up on her, make sure he was okay. But he did, and he was sick of it.

He just wanted to see her.

He missed her so much, it was a constant ache in the bones, in his blood, in his mind, reminding him of just how much he missed her. Reminding him of just how often he was gone, leaving her all alone.

He needed to see her.

***

It had started when she was little. It started when her parents started leaving her alone.

When they would go out, sometimes with their friends, sometimes for work, sometimes to get dinner, when they would leave her all alone.

She wasn't good alone. She wasn't good at being left alone.

Her parents never knew what happened when they left. They never knew how she would lock each door and every window, over and over again, just to make sure she thought, just to make sure it's all okay. They never found out about the phone she used to call 911 when she heard a creak in the walls, when she was worried there was something wrong. They never knew about the 911 dispatchers who had to reassure her, they never found out about all the times she called them. They never knew that she would sit at the window, watching and waiting for their car to come home. They never knew about the panic attacks she would have when someone knocked on the door, when someone wanted to talk to her.

They never knew about any of it.

Her anxiety had always built up the longer someone was gone and had always been a big hole in her chest that would only get bigger with time.

She learned how to cope, she learned how to stop worrying, how to make sure no one ever knew about how much she worried.

It had taken years to stop freaking out every time someone walked out the door.

When she was 16 she thought she had it under control. She thought she had filled the hole so far, so high that she would never be afraid of someone being gone again.

She was wrong.

She was so so wrong.

The hole stayed with her, buried in a place she couldn't reach, getting deeper and deeper with each day that went by.

She hadn't heard from Spencer in a week.

***

Spencer had attempted to be quiet when he got home, even with how tired he was he didn't want to wake his girlfriend up. She needed her rest as much as I do, he thought.

He was putting his shoes next to the door and hanging his satchel up when he noticed all the lights were still on. He didn't pay any mind to it, figuring Y/N had left them on when she went to bed on accident. His eyes were drooping and his back felt like it was going to collapse, so he quickly hurried into their bedroom.

Spencer dropped his bag on the floor, planning to unpack it and do laundry when he didn't feel 10 minutes away from passing out. He smiled at his girlfriend who was lying in bed, sleeping softly. He climbed into the covers with her, pulled her close to him, smiled, and fell asleep.

***

Someone was touching her.

Someone grabbing her.

Someone was behind her and she was wrapped under their arms, and they were squeezing her, and she had no idea who they were, she didn't know them someone was holding her.

It was too tight.

Y/N tried to push against their arms, tried to move them away, far far away, so far that she wouldn't be able to see them, she just wanted them to go far far away.

Spencer could feel something pushing his arms, but he just figured Y/N was moving.

It was only when she started screaming he woke up.

She was screaming, and she was telling whoever was holding her, holding her against them, holding her against her will, she was telling them to just, just get away because she had no idea who they were and she just wanted them to get away. Just get away.

Spencer didn't know what to do.

He let her go and tried to sit up but she was faster than him. She was jumping out of bed and crawling across the floor in a matter of seconds. Her face was red, and her breathing was rapid, and her hair was a mess, and her face was terrified, it was terrified and Spencer didn't know what to do.

“Y/N…” he said while walking toward her, walking toward his crying girlfriend.

She started screaming again as he got closer.

“Okay! Okay Y/N... I won't come any closer. I’m not going to move any closer baby.” He said softly, he just wanted her to stop crying, to stop screaming he just wanted to go over and hold her, but he was just barely awake, and his mind wasn't quite functioning normally.

“Get out! Get out! You need to leave- I- I- I need- I need” Y/N said as she started to gasp, as her voice got caught, and she was grabbing at her throat, and pulling her hair, and trying to breathe, she was just trying to breathe, but she was scratching at her skin, and hyperventilating, and she couldn't think. She couldn't breathe.

She was scratching at her skin, trying to get it off, trying to breathe, trying to get away. She was going to hurt herself.

“Y/N! Don't-” Spencer said, much louder than last time, as he tried to take a step toward her. But he could see the way she recoiled when he had just barely moved, he could hear the way her breathing had gotten even faster, and she was staring up at him like he was a monster, and so he stopped. “Y/N hey I need-” he swallowed trying to get her attention “I need you to stop doing that you’re going to hurt yourself-”.

But Y/N wasn't listening, her ears were pounding and all she could hear was beeping, just loud beeping right in her ear. And she still wouldn't couldn't breathe. Why wouldn't her body just breathe?

She gasped again.

“Y/N Okay, okay I’m- fuck- I’m going to, I’m gonna- “

It was then that she started gasping out words.

“Spencer- I need- I need! I need I need I need- Spe-” And she was still trying to breathe and she was still trying to speak, and Spencer was still trying to figure out what he could do if he couldn't touch her, he just wanted to fucking touch her and he couldn't, and if he could just hold her if he could just grab her and and help her if he could just-

“Spencer! I need I need-” a pause to gasp again. “I need Spencer! I need my boy-” gasp. “Boyfriend- he- he just- where- where-” she tried to catch her breath again, she tried to breathe just one more time “where is he!? Where did he go!?! He said- he said-”

And she was staring at Spencer, she was staring at her boyfriend, at the man she was asking for, and she was scared, and she was angry and Spencer felt himself crumble at his own name.

She’s calling for me, he thought, she's calling for me but I’m right here and what can I do, what can I do, I’m right here, he said over and over again in his mind.

And Y/N was still staring at him, still not looking at him just staring, still gasping, still clawing at her own skin, still waiting for him to do something.

“Y/N, I’m right- I’m right here. Y/N, baby, it's Spencer. I’m right here.” He was staring at her, hoping she’d understand, hoping he could go over and hold her and just hold her.

It seemed as if Y/N was struck out of her gaze, and she was looking Spencer up and down and she was actually seeing him now and she finally managed to gasp out

“Spencer.” and her voice was rumbling, and her hands were shaking, but she looked relieved now, and Spencer could tell so he went to her.

He went to her, and he grabbed her face, and she gasped again but even louder and it seemed the air was finally making its way to her lungs, and she grabbed at his hands which were still on her face desperately.

And all Y/N could think about was how Spencer was finally there, he was there and he was fine, and she was fine and he was there.

Spencer held her face in his hands, and wiped her tears with his hands, and kissed her forehead over and over again, feeling immensely relieved that he could finally touch her, that he could finally just touch her.

Y/N was still crying, and she was clawing at Spencer's shirt, and he took the hint and he moved to pick her up.

And he held her. He held her so tight the world was finally in focus and Y/N knew exactly where she was, and she knew that he was okay, and she could breathe, and the hold was being filled with each breath they shared.

He tried to ask her what was wrong, but it only caused her to cry harder, so he just held her, he just basked in her warmth, and tried his best to make her feel better. Tried his best to just be there for her, to just hold her.

They stayed like that for several minutes.

Both of them breathing slowly, and together, Spencer holding her and stroking her hair, and repeating “it's okay, it's okay, it's okay” over and over because it was the only thing he knew how to do.

And she was breathing, and she was fine, and she wasn't scared anymore, and they were just breathing together, just holding each other.

It was a while before they decided to move off of the floor.

Spencer gently tapped her shoulders, and softly said “let's get up sweetheart” and it took Y/N a moment to recognize the words, it took her a minute to nod. Spencer let go of his tight grip on her, and together they stood up.

Y/N was dizzy and Spencer had to help her walk. He helped her lay down, and went to his side of the bed, and held her under the covers, and stroked her hair, and just listened to her quiet breathing.

They both laid there, content with just calming down, with just taking a moment to breathe from their bed and think separately.

Y/N knew she was going to have to say something, she knew that she had to say something to him, had to explain what had happened, that she couldn't just hide her anxiety in a box and shove in a room to never be discovered again. She couldn't do that anymore. But she wasn't going to be the first to talk. She wasn't going to talk if she didn't have to.

She wasn't the one who made the choice.

Spencer, who was just thinking about her, thinking about how he’d never experienced something like that with Y/N before, thinking about how he must have been missing something because there was clearly something wrong, he was the first to talk.

“Y/N? Are you… are you okay?” he said softly in her ear, trying to not push her any further, he knew she must be exhausted.

Y/N's voice was sore, and her muscles ached from exhaustion, and her chest still felt tight, but she finally managed to answer “yes, I’m fine now.”

“You- you weren't fine though.”

She didn't say anything, just nodded against his chest, breathing him in.

“What happened?” he asked after a moment.

Y/N swallowed and could feel tears pricking at her eyes, tears that she refused to let out. “I- it's just been a- I didn't realize you were home.” They were the only words she could bring to her head, and she still had no idea how to explain anything that happened.

Spencer didn't understand, and he wasn't satisfied with that answer.

“I’ve come home before late at night… you didn't-” he paused trying to find the right words “this has never happened before.”

Y/N could feel herself nodding but she still had no idea what to say. She still had no idea how she was feeling.

“Can you tell me what happened? I’m- I’m not trying to push you… but we can't just leave it like this.”

“I just-” Y/N sighed, moving away from Spencer to sit up. If she was going to have this conversation she was going to do it right. “I haven't heard from you in a while, and I was worried, and I didn't- I didn't know you were coming home, and I thought you were someone else- and I was just- I was just scared.” her voice was shaking as she explained, and she was picking at her nails trying not to look her boyfriend in the eye.

He was frowning, looking down at her hands and trying to think. “I don't understand, I- We’ve been talking, and you were scared? I don't-”

“You haven't texted me in a week, Spencer.” Y/N's voice was hard, filled with some frustration and some confusion.

“Yes I- I’ve-” Spencer was looking at her shocked, thinking, trying to remember when the last time they talked was. “I have- I have?”

“No. You haven't. I haven't heard from you since you told me the case wasn't finished, last Friday.” Y/N was looking at him now, looking at the way his entire face fell as she explained, watching the way his eyes winced almost as if he was in pain.

“I didn't- I was-”

“And I know you were busy with a case, and I know that I wasn't as important, I understand that I really do-” Spencer tried to cut in but she kept going “I was really worried though, I had no idea what you were doing or what was going on or when you were coming back or if you were okay. And I was just really worried, and I was trying not to be because it's not your job to make me feel okay and I- '' her rambling was cut off my Spencer's harsh tone.

“Yes, it is.” He stared at her, his face unmoving.

“No, it's not Spence and-”

“Yes, it is. Of course, it is. Jesus Christ, you’re my girlfriend! It's my job to make sure you’re alright, and even if it wasn't I can at least take the time to text you!”

Y/N recoiled at his angry tone, even though she knew none of it was directed at her.

“Oh Y/N... no, it's just. It's okay, I’m not going to hurt you-” she nodded at his words, still watching him trying to figure out what he was thinking “ it's just, I can't believe I didn't even text you. God, I'm-”

“Spence, I’m not mad. Really I'm not mad, I’m just I’ve always been so terrible at being left alone, and usually, it's fine, but I don't know- I was- just so anxious and I couldn't stop it and I was so worried, and I knew you were just working that's” she swallowed trying to let her mind catch up to her mouth “that's why I didn't call you.”

“I wish you had I-”

“No, work was the most important thing, I didn't want to bother you.”

Spencer was looking at her shocked, just completely shocked that she could ever say something like that.

“Y/N.. you’re the most important thing. You always are, you’re the most important thing in my life. And you could never bother me, especially not with just a phone call.”

It was Y/N's turn to look shocked, she didn't expect that type of reaction from Spencer.

“Don't look so shocked, please. You are my favorite person. You are the only person I want with me at all times. And I’m sorry we’re apart so much, I’m sorry my job takes me so far away from you.” Y/N could hear the desperation in his voice, could see the honesty in his warm brown eyes.

“It's okay Spencer, your passion for your job is one of the things I love most about you. And when we’re apart for so long, it feels amazing to be together again.” She brought his hands up to her lips and kissed it as a way to show her belief in the words she was saying.

“I never want you to feel anxious about me. I want you to call me when you’re worried, I want you to tell me everything because I care about you. Okay?” He asked looking right into her eyes.

“Okay.. yeah… okay.” She said looking down again.

Spencer grabbed her face and brought it to his so they were looking at each other again. They were so close, and both of them felt their heart speed up at just the proximity of the pair.

“Okay?” Spencer asked, almost in a teasing voice, trying to make sure she understood completely.

“Okay.” She said as she brushed her lips against his feeling like she was home for the first time in weeks. They were both restless as their lips moved against each other, Y/N could feel Spencer's hands hold on to her face desperately, trying to keep her as close as possible.

They broke apart and smiled at each other. Spencer looked down and frowned, and Y/N looked down with him.

They were both frowning at the red marks on her chest, the scratches that she had made, the dried blood that was there reminding them of how desperate she was to escape.

Spencer rubbed his thumb over the marks, feeling terrible for everything that had happened.

Y/N looked at him frowning and moved his chin so he would look at her. She smiled at him softly in reassurance, in a message that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault.

“How about we go take a shower?” he asked, looking at her again, not smiling but not frowning “I’ll help you clean up, and I’ll wash your hair?”

Y/N smiled even wider “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?” Spencer said, a smile finally reaching his face and making Y/N world so much brighter.

“Yeah.” She said, and she kissed him again, just so they could be close.

my masterlist here

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons #matthew gray gubler #emily prentiss x reader

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mollysfoundfamily · 3 years

Note

What are the epithet erased folks like when they're drunked?

Oh ho ho ho this is going to be fun! ( alcohol and drunk Tigger warning though)

Molly: No. No. No. No. no alcohol for the baby. EVER! Percy doesn’t even anything that even looks like it get close to her and her young still forming brain!! the others have kind of an unspoken rule about it to. SHES. JUST. TOO. PURE.

she hasn’t told them that her dad used to let her drink pumpkin spice beer at thanksgiving yet.

Sylvie: Don’t tell percy but Sylvie drinks wine the most respectable and classy of all adult beverages when he’s at office parties. The others are reluctant to let a 15 year old do it but he insists he‘s more then responsible enough. It’s purely to study the complex flavors anyway (he’ll never admit it but they all taste like expired cough syrup to him) not to get totally inebriated for the sake of it.... that part happened on accident. It only takes about one glass to do it and He goes into beef beef sheep mode but as a drunken out loud ramble. He comes up with alot of “ground braking theories“ when he gets like this too. He was once convinced that motion wasn’t real it‘s just an illusion our brains cook up to help us cope with our frozen world!!! He’ll just keep rambling and hiccuping for hours every once and a while admitting something very very embarrassing like How he doesn’t know what half the big words he uses mean or that his coffee is actually just chocolate milk until he eventually passes out on top of a pile of very tipsy sheep sucking his thumb.... which is usually fallowed by a visit from a very very glitchy beefton Who has fish fins for some reason because drunk dreams apparently aren’t as stable as regular dreams.

Giovanni: Gio doesn’t even really like alcohol (mostly because of Debby) but sneaks into bars every now and then because underage drinking is a major crime!! He can’t stomach anything unless it’s drowned in sweet strawberry staved ice or a million different juices and of course a tiny umbrella and it only takes one of those to get him waisted... His whole face flushes totally red even his ears! He’s somehow even louder and more obnoxious then usual! Dancing on tables swinging form ceiling fans yelling at strangers who don’t tip or harass The bar tenders and getting into fist fights with them which he usually loses (making out with crusher that one time) his few inhibitions completely out the window along with the Bar‘s jukebox.... it’s the only time he’s ever committed any kind of real crimes. Then on the second on he just Starts maniacally laughing and crying at the same time. Its actually pretty scary to witness so thank goodness Bear trap ain’t around. Until It eventually just becomes crying about all the mean stuff he did and how great it is but how it’s awful too and how he doesn’t wanna be mean but you have to be mean to be a bad guy so does that mean he doesn’t wanna be a bad guy? and really feels like he should have taken that four year baseball scholarship to the city’s top medical College!!

Mera: She’s a little harder to get waisted mostly Because she has to be really careful not to brake the fancy glasses her drinks come in. When she does it only makes her get more grumpy and makes her start scream ranting about how terrible life is and how terrible people are and just how much everything and everyone sucks all the time... expect for Indus

her affection for him is turned up a hundred fold she’ll throw herself on top of him and nuzzle into him like a kitty squeezing his muscles! She’ll ramble on about how he’s the handsomest sweetest person in the history of ever and how she doesn’t deserve him and just wants to kiss his big dumb face and from there it trails off into.... pg 13 territory untill she passes out and a very red faced indus has to carry her home.

Indus: Indus is also pretty hard to get drunk since he’s so huge it’s only ever happened once. It was from one to many of those wooden pints of ale at this theme bar because of course it was. Everyone there thought he was an actor or something and kept asking for selfies because he kept singing broken warrior drinking ballets and challenging people to drinking contests which only made things worse. After winning about 5 he couldn’t say too words without braking into giggle fit or hiccuping his head off. It would have been kinda cute if he hadn’t also lost all motor control, completely forgot how strong he was and smashed almost everything and everyone he came in contact with. He hugged about 7 people into the hospital, smashed a hole on the bar. and then tried to fight a forklift. But he probably would have done that last one anyway.

Percy: (aka the one you’re all waiting for) Has only ever taken a drink once in her life. Ramsey thought Champagne would be a good way to celebrate after closing a big case together... he has never regretted anything so much. She took one sip and she was immediately completely intoxicated a Drunken delinquent unable to control her own actions or the already rapidly forming addition she was suffering from. But she would work as hard as she could to get sober and decided to check herself into the nearest rehab center. He tried to stop her but she was determined to go strait there but she wouldn’t allow herself to operate a motor vehicle under such conditions so she decided to walk there right through the middle of heavy traffic. Once again totally unable to control her rash decisions. He eventually got her to come back thankfully without getting hit. Only for her to run straight into a stop sign. She got back up again immediately and acted like nothing was wrong even though blood was pooring out of her swelled up nose! He tried to take her to the hospital but she insisted on staying to defend her honor again the offending sign as irrational displays of strength was a common drunken activity. But electrocuting it was probably not the best idea since it sort of acted as a lightning rod and fired the underground wires the ran underneath it blacking out the next 5 city blocks. The video of the whole thing when viral and Percy uses as an example of the dangers of alcohol For the kids.

Ramsey: The man can afford freaking gold laced Champagne but chooses box rosé in the basement watching Adam Sandler movies like the king he is.

But somehow with out fail he will always always always wake up the next morning in the master sweet of a yacht he just bought with a bunch of passed out strangers half of which are furries in a giant pile of money totally unable to move his face because of the back ally Botox he got done. wearing nothing but his boxers, gold chains with a little gold rats on them, and solid gold crocks still holding that box of rosé....

Zora: We’ve done drunk Zora art here before she’s pretty much exactly what you would expect downing whisky and beer left and right just to see how far she can go!! Her competitiveness goes through the roof and she’s challenging anyone to anything darts, arm wrestle, poole, russian roulette, jump rope, anything she was one of the said people Indus got into a drinking contest with and the only one he lost too! She really isn’t that much different then her usual self since she drinks pretty regularly and has the highest tolerance out of everyone.

extra because I had too!!

Howie: It seems like its impossible to get him drunk. His worker bees get him to try and loosen up a little because like it or not he needs it. But he’s already downed 10 giant beers and seems totally the same.... until he gets a call about a new job gets up and walks right through the wall of the bar leaving a Howie shaped hole behind him.

#epithet erased #Epithet Erased Headcannon #Headcannon #Found Fam #Alcohol Trigger warning #molly blyndeff #giovanni potage #sylvester ashling #mera salamin #indus tarbella #percival king #ramsey murdoch #zora salazar #howie honeyglow

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tonystarktogo · 3 years

Text

It takes quite a bit of effort -- and some outstanding teamwork that Tony didn’t think he and Rogers would be capable of -- but they manage to break the helicarrier.

Hang on, that came out wrong.

To clarify [because Fury will undoubtedly be on Tony’s ass about this]: They don’t set out to break the helicarrier. But Barton, it turns out, is a damn talented saboteur and while Tony and Rogers successfully intercept his minions before they can get their hands on some of the very secret alien weapons SHIELD should’ve never gotten its hands on, they are way too late to do anything about the control center.

Or the rampaging Hulk. Who, if JARVIS is to be trusted -- who is always to be trusted because it’s JARVIS -- got into a screaming match with Thor. Wonderful.

Saving the helicarrier is a lost cause but they manage to break only part of it off -- the part they’re on because why wouldn’t they be -- so there’s a good 60% chance that not all of SHIELD’s top-of-the-top agents died in the crash.

Solid win for the good guys that.

[continues under the cut]

Sarcasm aside, they’re all alive. Tony caught Rogers -- not a fucking team player, ha --, Hulk is pretty hard to kill to the surprise of absolutely no one, save perhaps Ross, Thor and a very concussed-looking Loki can get downed by Captain America’s shield but are too godly-Asgardian-whatever to be phased by falling a couple of kilometers through the air and Romanoff just shows up amidst the rumble, covered in dirt, an ugly bruise on her jaw, blood tickling down her neck and the unconscious shape that is probably Barton slung over her shoulder.

Tony doesn’t even ask.

He’s too busy staring down Hulk. “Aren’t you supposed to be bigger?”

Instead of snarling, squashing him or whatever rage monsters do when they are told they aren’t impressive enough, Hulk claps his hands. “Tin man back!” he booms. “Hulk happy!”

Tony takes a wary step back. If Hulk tries to hug him too then big fan of the green guy or not, he’s taking to the sky and never coming back down again. Tony’s more than filled his hug-quota for the month, possibly for the year. And also people need to stop being so damn enthusiastic to see him, it’s gonna give him a complex.

Thankfully, there’s plenty of other people around him to serve as a distraction. Rogers for one is brushing already taking in their surroundings. Thankfully they’ve landed in an unhabitated, random hill in the middle of nowhere. The last thing Tony needs is more civilian causalities on his head. That said, he doesn’t recognize much of anything within eyesight, which isn’t promising.

Sure, his suit can probably get him out of here, but that still leaves a supersoldier, two secret agents and two Asgardians -- after Thor’s insistence on the term, Tony’s gonna stick with it, even if ‘god’ would freak more people out, see how well he’s taking other people’s feelings into consideration? -- unaccounted for. Plus the Hulk. But getting Big Green anywhere he doesn’t want to go would be impossible anyway.

“You alright there, Cap?”

“I’ll live.” Rogers grins at him, a little more tired and still with that same shadow that Tony can’t properly identify, but real nonetheless. Urgh. This much genuine happiness can’t be healthy. “Thanks for the help, Stark. You did good.”

Tony shrugs. “Hey, I’m all for team spirit and all that shit, ask anyone.” What else is he supposed to say?

Rogers snorts. Turns around to face Thor, who is carrying Loki towards them. Their future evil alien overlord doesn’t look too good up close, pale and haggard, with dark shadows under his eyes that would give Tony at his first post-Afghanistan depression a run for their money.

Not a record any sane person wants to beat.

“Everything alright with your brother?”

Tony’s impressed how casual Rogers makes the question sound. It’s impossible to tell if he’s concerned about Loki’s welfare or subtly requesting information on his mental state or even demanding a report about potential trouble. Well done.

“Nothing he won’t recover from.” The expression on Thor’s face is hard to read, almost blank, but the way his grip around Loki tightens is a tell on its own.

Sternly reminding himself that he’s not gonna involve himself in Norse god drama -- again -- Tony catches Romanoff’s eyes and nods towards her carry-on. “Barton good as well?”

“He’ll be fine.” She says evenly. A threat if Tony has ever heard one.

“Good.”

They both turn back towards the rest of the group. Even Hulk has joined them, perfectly content to just stand there and casually crush what’s left of the wreck inside his left hand. A powermove if Tony’s ever seen one -- really, if Tony didn’t already have his precious honeybear he’d claim Hulk as his best friend in a heartbeat. No second thoughts. Plenty of regrets. For other people, that is.

“Well, we’re all alive so that’s great.” Rogers rubs the back of his neck, wincing like he’s just realized how depressing that sounds. Shoots Loki an anything-but-inconspicious look. “I guess we should get back to the Tower, just in case.”

“What tower?” Tony asks over Thor’s agreement and Romanoff’s raised eyebrows -- they’re very loud raised eyebrows, okay.

Rogers freezes. The look on his face bears a weird resemblance to how Rhodey looked that one time Tony caught him with a Hammer gun.

“Uhm. Stark Tower?”

Tony crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Why would we go there?”

Why would they even go to NYC? They already have Loki, even if he doesn’t look particularly chained up from where Tony’s standing and they’ve even gotten some of the brainwashed minions back. Shouldn’t they focus on the Tesseract now? Or barring that on pissing off Fury into telling them what else besides hella-illegal-if-anyone-knew-about-it weapons manifacturing they haven’t been told?

“...to regroup?” Rogers asks slowly.

Tony gives him the look that statement deserves.

“That sounds like a sensible course of action,” Thor adds. “And I would like to leave my brother in a place where he can rest.”

What high-level security cell wasn’t chill enough? Tony swallows that comment at the last second, vaguely remembering the protective fevor Thor has shown in defense of his brother and not at all eager to become its target.

“Hulk sleep,” Hulk says, not being much of a help at all.

Romanoff’s eyebrows judge them all.

“It’s decided then!” Rogers claps his hands, blatantly ignoring the lack of agreement from the sanest two people present. “Let’s go see if we can find a car to hotwire.”

Tony stares after him. “I can’t believe Captain fucking America just said ‘see if we can find a car to hotwire’.”

Romanoff scoffs, even as her gaze flickers restlessly back and forth between Rogers, Hulk and Thor and Loki. “I can’t believe they call him the man with a plan.”

“Well, no one said it had to be a good plan.”

“Don’t worry,” Rogers calls out over his shoulder, cool as a cucumber and doing a terrible job of concealing the amusement in his tone, “if a giant hole appears in the sky, you and Thor get to play flying taxi.”

Tony exchanges a glance with Romanoff -- not an easy thing to do considering his faceplate is still up -- and says quietly. “The scary thing is I can’t tell if he’s joking or not.”

“He’s not,” Romanoff deadpans.

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peach-pops · 4 years

Note

hello!!! I love ur blog so much ! Can I requests a hc with Oikawa and Kuroo dating a Hothead/easily angered girlfriend? Maybe she gets into a fight and how would the boys react?

This is spicy yes of course! Also I def relate to the reader cause I get mad at freaking everything. There is a lot of cussing and there is violence obviously so just a warning!

Also PSA: I know Mika ( Daisho’s gf) is probably super nice in the manga but I had to make her uhhhhh unlikeable so yeah.

Oikawa and Kuroo with a Hothead Girlfriend

-Oikawa-

There’s no need to sugarcoat it, Oikawa was intimidated by you because of your ‘ don’t fuck with me attitude’ but once you started dating, he realized it came in handy especially with his fans

He never had to worry about his fans ever messing with you because they’d be dumb to say anything to your face without you throwing hands back so Oikawa always thought things would be in his favor

UNTILLLL you showed up to one of Aoba Johsai’s games because of course, you wanted to support the team

You watched the game from up on the stands and you could hear his fans whispering amongst each other about you but you wanted to stay focused on the game

Whenever Oikawa served, he would make a quick glance at you to make sure that you saw it but even though your eyes were on him, you didn’t look thrilled

Oikawa put two and two together once he saw his little fanbase a few rows back laughing in your direction and his heart dropped. Sure, he was upset that they were saying things about you but he was even more worried that you were going to kill them

The match was getting closer to the end but the girls were persistent in bashing you for every little thing and you did your best to keep your temper under control

“ What is she even wearing?”

“ Shouldn’t she be wearing a jersey to support her boyfriend?”

“ Maybe Oikawa-San and her broke up!”

“ Thank goodness, he can do so much better anyway. He is way out of her league.”

You clenched your fists against the bottom of your seat. You’d be damned if you were just gonna sit there and listen to them talk badly about you

You whipped your head around and gave them a deadly glare,” Just wait until this game ends and we’ll see if you’ll be able to keep talking shit.”

They’re just shocked that you even turned around to confront them and while they’re a bit shooketh cause you’re high key scary, they don’t take your threat seriously

Oikawa can practically feel the tension in the air so once Aoba Johsai scores the last point and they take their bows, he looks up at you as if he’s pleading with you to just wait until he can get there

Cue that one tik tok: ‘ girl don’t do it, it’s not worth it…’

And you’re looking back at him like ‘ im not gonna do it girl...I was just thinking about it...im not gonna do it”

You and Oikawa both thought that the coast was clear and that you two can go about your day but then the main fangirl opened her mouth,” I told you guys she’s too scared to fight us. Who does this bitch think she is?”

It all happened so fast, one minute you were beaming down proudly at your boyfriend and the next, you’re jumping over the bleachers to launch yourself at the girl in the stands

“ OH SHIT!” Oikawa raced out of the gym with Iwaizumi running after him because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa might need his help

Oikawa had never seen you this mad before so he didn’t know what to expect as he raced up the stairs

His mouth dropped when he saw you on top of the girl and you were going at it

like yassssssss reader beat her ass!!! Fuck her up!!!!🤪🤪🤪

There’s a crowd gathered around but Oikawa managed to squeeze his way through and shouted at you to stop. He knew how strong you were and frankly, the girl didn’t even stand a chance against you.

Obviously, he is your number one fan but he didn’t want you to go to jail for murdering this girl in cold blood

He tried to pull you off of her but you have that gorilla grip and this boy was struggling to pry you off like damn where is all of this strength coming from???

Oikawa looked around for anyone to help him but the crowd was a bit too scared of you so he shouted for backup

“ IWA-CHAN HELP ME BEFORE SHE KILLS HER!”

Iwaizumi pushed through everyone and he assessed the situation. He sees lil ol’ you swinging at the girl who’s sprawled out on the floor screaming but he’s more focused on the fact that you listened to his advice on how to throw punches

He stans necessary violence!

Iwa managed to loosen your grip on the girl which gave Oikawa enough time to wrap his arms around you and hold you back

“ Who’s scared now ha!” You laughed evilly as Oikawa tried dragging you away from the crime scene and he’s visibly shaken because his girlfriend is psychotic but is it awful that he feels so proud?!?!?

Like in his head he’s thinking,” damn okay go off queen!” 🥰

He managed to carry you all the way down to the stairs and pulled you aside to make sure you’re okay

“Are you hurt anywhere? How are you feeling? Do you need some water or some ice for your knuckles?”

You looked down at your knuckles and sure enough, they were bruised but surprisingly not bloody,” Oh, I fucked up my knuckles...I didn’t even notice, ” You said as Oikawa shook his head disapprovingly,” I wasn’t even hitting that hard!”

“ Iwa-chan, can you be a dear and get some ice? I’m gonna stay here with Y/N to make sure she doesn’t go back up there,” Oikawa said as you held up your knuckles to show Iwaizumi

“ How do I look Zumi?”

“ Damn Y/N, those look badass!”

Iwa was practically beaming because he knew he had taught you well🤩🤩🤩

“ Iwa-chan don’t get encourage her! Go get the ice!” Oikawa shouted as you and Iwaizumi both laughed before Iwa turned to leave

Oikawa lightly skimmed his thumb across your knuckles and pressed an even lighter kiss to your knuckles before sighing,” Was it worth ruining your pretty hands honey?”

You inhaled deeply before shrugging innocently at your boyfriend,” Toru, I really tried to keep my cool I promise! They were saying really mean things the whole time but I did my best to control myself but she had it coming...Are you mad at me?”

“ Of course I’m not mad,” Oikawa answered honestly as he pulled you closer to him,” If you lost than sure, I would be disappointed but you won so I’m more proud than anything! But I’m pretty sure you broke her nose.”

“ A wise boyfriend once said; If you’re gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks,” You said with a smirk as Oikawa leaned in to give you a victory kiss

-Kuroo-

Kuroo knew what he was getting himself into when the two of you started dating. You were always so sweet and thoughtful but whenever you were upset, you didn’t care who got in your way, all you wanted to do was unleash the beast!

Most of the time, Kuroo could calm you down before it ever escalated but on the rare account that he couldn’t, he just hoped you didn’t do too much damage to whoever was on the receiving end

At the end of one of Nekoma’s matches, you were celebrating with the team in the hallway when Kuroo excused himself to go use the restroom

You thought nothing of it and continued to chat and congratulate the other Nekoma members but as minutes passed by without seeing Kuroo, you excused yourself and went to go find him

You turned the corner to see Kuroo with his back facing you as he was loudly talking to Daisho. You knew Kuroo disliked Daisho but you were taken aback when you saw a familiar face next to him, Mika Yamaka

You and Mika had never gotten along, even way before Kuroo had his feud with the Nohebi captain. The last time you had saw her, things hadn’t gone so well so to see her in the flesh made you feel some type of way

You walked over to where Kuroo was standing as the conversation halted

“ What’s going on? Everything okay?” You asked as Kuroo wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in closer

“ Nothing, everything is fine,” Kuroo smiled but you could tell that something was obviously going on

“ Wow Y/N-chan, I gotta say, you’ve changed a lot. I see you finally figured out how to style your hair,” Mika said ‘sweetly’ as she played with her boyfriend’s volleyball in her hand,” you finally look grown-up. I was sure you’d always look like that little geek I met in middle school.”

You felt him squeeze your hip tightly as if to say ‘ don’t let her get under your skin’ but you couldn’t help yourself to snap back

“Aw, Mika. I wish I could say the same for you but turns out you’re still a fucking snake who-”

“ Okay, let’s just calm down and take a breath,” Kuroo said as he leaned down to whisper into your ear,” don’t do anything stupid, okay? I got your back.”

You squeezed his hand as you kept your icy stare on Mika who looked unbothered

“ Your girl sure does have a temper doesn’t she?” Daisho laughed as Kuroo snapped his eyes over to him

“ What did you say snake?”

OH SO NOW IT’S SUDDENLY OKAY TO SAY SNAKE

“ He’s not wrong. Y/N is kinda known to be a bit of a bitch,” Mika said as a matter of fact as you and Kuroo both tensed up,” little miss hothead is what they used to call you right?”

As angry as you were, you knew that she was just trying to push your buttons and that she wasn’t worth the hassle. At this point, the rest of the Nekoma boys were watching from afar and even Kenma had looked up from his game to watch the heated interaction

“ Let’s just go, you guys are all bark and no bite. That’s why Nohebi loses everytime against Nekoma. You want some advice, how about you guys win before you start to talk shit,” You scoffed as you grabbed Kuroo’s hand and walked off in the opposite direction

Micdrop lets get it Y/N

Kuroo smiled down at you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead,” Baby, I’m really proud of you. I know it’s hard to keep your cool and I’m sure you wanted to beat her ass, huh?”

“ God, I was this close Tetsuro. I swear, I-”

You felt something hard hit the back of your head and a second later, you could hear Mika’s annoying voice,” Who’s all bark and no bite now?”

You looked down at the ground to see the volleyball she had just chucked at your head and you felt smoke come out of your ears

You moved your eyes up and locked eyes with Kenma like ‘did this bitch really just do that😮’ and Kenma nodded ‘girl she really did👀’

Kuroo looked shocked. He didn’t even know what to say but he really didn’t want you to get into a fight

“Baby-”

“ Hold my purse,” You snapped as you shoved your bag into his chest and walked over to where Mika was standing

“ Aw, is Y/N-chan gonna cry-”

Kuroo and Daisho watched with open mouths as you practically launched yourself at her, causing the two of you to hit the floor. The Nekoma boys shouted words of encouragement and you could even hear Yaku shout “WORLDSTAR!”

“ You! 👏🏼Stupid! 👏🏼Bitch!” You yelled as you kept slamming your fists into Mika as she swung her fists back to try and get you off

Kuroo rushed over, unsure of what to do.

A little backstory: You two had a hypothetical conversation a while back and you had explicitly told him that if you had gotten into a fight, he was not allowed to step in unless you were losing. By the looks of it, you were winning by a longshot

It wasn’t until Daisho tried grabbing you off of Mika that Kuroo suddenly became protective and stepped in

“ Don’t touch her, snake!” Kuroo yelled as he easily pushed Daisho to the side and ripped you away from Mika

You scrambled and struggled against your boyfriend’s grip as you continued to curse at Mika

“ Uh huh! That’s what I thought you raggedy-ass, fucking bitch! You’re awfully quiet now, huh!”

“ Oh my god babe, please-”

“ Whatever!” Mika shouted as Daiso helped her up as she held her nose in pain,”That’s why your stupid boyfriend stepped in.”

“ He stepped in cause he knows I will kill you! Do you hear me, Mika? You’re lucky my boyfriend isn’t such a weak ass like you because if he wasn’t holding me back, you wouldn’t be able to get off the floor-”

“ Okokokokokok! She got the message baby, you’re scary and she’s a dumbass,” Kuroo was struggling to keep his grip on you so he readjusted himself and threw you over his shoulder as he walked past his teammates,” let’s head to the bus.”

The rest of the Nekoma teammates followed the two of you back to the buses as Kenma walked over beside you,” Do you want me to send you the video?”

“ You were recording?” You and Kuroo both asked as Kenma nodded approvingly

“ Hell yeah! Send it to me!”

On the bus ride back, it was relatively loud from all of the talk about you throwing hands with Mika but Kuroo had all of his attention on you

“ I can’t believe she threw a volleyball at your head, what did she expect when you pounced on her?” Kuroo said as you leaned your head against his shoulder,” but damn, we were so close to leaving without a fight.”

“ I know, I’m sorry Tetsuro. You know I can’t stand her or her boyfriend,” You huffed as Kuroo sighed

“ You know, have I ever told you how turned on I get seeing you mad?”

“ Yes babe, several times.”

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trikruismybitch · 3 years

Text

@trikruismybitch

Dialgue Prompt List

“Oh this is nothing”

“I’ve had worse”

“Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back?”

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

“I’m also just a girl standing in-front of you, asking you to love her.”

“And the last thing you will ever see will be me because I love you.”

“Because that’s what you are, that’s what you’ll always be.”

“You have to let me go. You have to let me, let you go. I need you to do that for me.”

“There’s all of this pressure to be all of these things to be fucking perfect but I’m not. I’m not fucking perfect.”

“I’ll always love you cus’ we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always and I’m grateful for that.”

“I will not be the person you settle for just because you can’t have her.”

“I used to think you were the best thing that happened, but now I think you might maybe be the worst thing.”

“I told you my story and you judged me?”

“Most of the time, most days I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything. It is so boring, I wake up and I think, again? Really? I have to do this again?”

“I don’t know that I find myself anywhere.”

“You can rest now.”

“You have your mothers eyes.”

“Well I am fine, I will be fine, really.”

“(Name)? (Name) come on, you got to get up.”

“All I’ve ever wanted to be is loved.”

“Take her to the moon for me.”

“I would rather die tomorrow, then live a hundred years without you.”

“I don’t want to survive. I want to live.”

“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

“I love her. She breaks my heart again and again, but I love her.”

“I love every broken bone in your body.”

“I miss you. I miss not touching each other. Not seeing each other, not breathing in each other. I want you all the time—no one else.”

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

“You don't have any idea what I have or haven't done to get to where I am.”

“I keep thinking about all the things I never said because I was so sure, there would be other days to say them.”

“What happened to us?”

“You abandoned me”

“I needed you”

“So that’s it then? Your writing me off?”

“I can’t wait around every time to pick up the pieces, every time you freak out!”

“Don’t this, ok? Don’t leave me again.”

“We are done, ok? No more surprises. No more excuses. No more chances, we’re done.”

“I think you should go. You see I love you so much I just want you to be happy, even if that happiness no longer includes me.”

“One day you’re going to have to stop pretending everything’s okay.”

“I don’t want to face my future without you.”

“All I needed was for you to tell me you felt something…and you didn’t.”

“You don’t know what I look like, when I’m not in love with you.”

“Truth is I’ve tried to stop thinking about you. But I can’t.”

“If you lay even a finger on her I swear I will make you suffer in ways even your evil mind can't imagine.”

“Deal with your jealousy. Deal with your shortcomings. Don’t put your crap on me.”

“I want so much for you. For both of us. So much more than this. More then being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free.”

“Don’t look at me like that. Like I’m damaged goods. I’m still me. I’m still here.”

“Tell me it isn’t true. Please. Tell me I heard wrong.”

“Please tell me your joking.”

“If you push me away I promise you, you won’t find me where you left me. My hearts big but not big enough to deal with people, who only decide to love me when it’s convenient.”

“My heart shattered in pieces when I see the way you look at them-the way you used to look at me.”

“Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.”

“My dream? My dream wouldn’t be complete without you in it.”

“Because I want you! All of you. forever.”

“I’ve realized that I don’t care if (name) is the most perfect (gender) in the world. Their not you.”

“Please don’t give up on me. Promise. Promise me you won’t.”

“When I had no one else you accepted me....and you showed me what it was like to be loved.”

“You’re my person”

“I didn’t fall in love with you because I was lost and lonely. I fell in love with you because when I bonded with you, I had finally found my home where I felt safe.”

“I love everything about you. Even the things I don’t like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?”

“You came back” “I always come back”

“If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it out loud and you go from there.”

“You know I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. You’re just the most amazing beautiful girl I ever met, and I don’t know, somehow you chose me....but how I loved you then, it’s nothing compared to how I love you now. I love you with everything inside of me.”

“I don’t care where we are. I just care that we’re together, you’re my home.”

*“And honestly when I’m with her, I completely forget what I’ve done.”

“If you walk away, it’s for you because I know what I want. I want you (name), I love you.”

“I’m still mad at you because being around you drives me nuts and not being around you drives me nuts.”

“I believe that when you love someone and that person loves you in return, you’re uniquely vulnerable. They have a power to hurt you like nothing else.”

“Anybody capable of love is capable of being saved.”

“It’s not a crime to love what you cannot explain.”

“You were by my side when I needed a friend. You made me laugh. You made me dance. You told me that I would find love again… And, I understand if I have to wait for you, and I will. I’ll wait. And when you’re ready for me, I will be ready for you.”

“Love’s always going to require a huge leap of faith. A big, scary leap over a hot pit of lava. And, you might end up heartbroken, but you might be the happiest person on the face of the earth.”

“Through all of this, you’re the one thing that kept me from giving up.”

“I don’t pretend to be anything when I’m with (name), that’s the whole point. I get to be myself.”

“I would rather spend every moment in agony than erase the memory of you.”

“When it’s real you can’t walk away.”

“If it’d were my choice I’d be with you forever.”

“I’d tell you to have hope because sometimes that’s all that keeps me going.”

“They was your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes."

“I don't know who I am without you, but I know that as long as I'm with you, time will stand still."

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather burn alive than abandon you.”

“To me you’re the whole damn world.”

“You don't marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can't live without."

"I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow."

"A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you."

"My love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never."

"You're something between a dream and a miracle."

"I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes."

“When I look at you, I see everything I've ever wanted."

“You are every lovely word I could think of."

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."

"For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you."

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

“You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else. You have made flowers grow where I cultivated dust and stones."

"You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way."

"I've come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours."

"What I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, I like you, very much. Just as you are."

“It's like in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together."

“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”

"You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. I’ll get you the moon.”

"I love you. You complete me."

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met."

“You make me want to be better.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have terrible judgment.”

“I’m surrounded be idiots.”

“It’s not my fault you dated a bunch of losers till you met me.”

“Badges? We ain’t got no badges? We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!”

“It’s just a flesh wound”

“Your bleeding out!”

"If I wasn't terrified of heights, I'd like this. But, I'm terrified of heights, so I don't like this."

“That's it, Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!"

“That’s like a big misconception. I’m not shy! I just don’t speak if I don’t have anything to say.”

“It’s not bragging if it’s true.”

“She is more like “girl with dragon tattoo" than “the girl next door”

“I will slap the taste out of your mouth.”

“Give me a mountain, I’ll climb it. Give me a Katy Perry song, I’ll sing it.”

“There is no such thing as bad ideas. Just poorly executed awesome ideas.”

“I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I’m vengeful.”

“Kiss me or kill me. We both know you’re only capable of one.”

“I know I called you bro, but I lowkey wanna marry you.”

“If I was meant to be controlled I would’ve come with a remote.”

“I know looks aren’t everything but I have them just in case.”

“You think I’m crying about you? No I’m crying about all the time I wasted on you.”

“Do I regret it, yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

“If you were my wife I’d put poison in your coffee.” “If you were my mine I’d drink it.”

“if you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”

“No I checked my receipt, I didn’t buy any of your bullshit.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

#prompts #writing prompt #dialogue prompt #prompt list #quote prompt #fanfiction prompt #quotes #angst #sad #loving #heartbreaking #funny #serious #wise #deep

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franniebanana · 3 years

Text

CQL Rewatch - Ep 19

Wow, Wei Wuxian looks so rough here. He’s spent some time under the knife (with no anesthetic), and then after that, he has just been waiting around for Jiang Cheng. It’s been seven days since Jiang Cheng went up that mountain. And of course Wei Wuxian is worried about him. What if something happened on his way down the mountain? What if he’d been captured or killed by the Wens? All the while, he’s basically defenseless here in Yiling (iirc). He’s sweating profusely, clutching at his middle—it’s possible he’s even suffering from an infection due to the transfer surgery. Seriously, the poor guy!

I love the visuals here: all these cloaked figures just filling this tea house, and not another soul in there other than the waiters. It’s both comical and heartbreaking the way that Wei Wuxian tries to immediately nope out of there, because he knows it’s a trap right away. Even with his Golden Core, I don’t know if he could have escaped them all—there were too many Wens, including the Core-Melting Hand. This part always really gets to me, because it truly is the first death of Wei Wuxian. It’s the death of who he once was: that smart, quirky, rascal of a youth, who made a very honest oath that essentially guided him to this point.

No joke, the first time I watched this, I was like, “Is that Lotus Pier? How tf did he get there?! How much did they change the story?!” And then a few seconds later, I realized this was a super sad dream/vision that Jiang Cheng was having and I channeled all my anger into sadness. This part is also super depressing. He has this vision of this happy family: his mother laughing, his father kissing his hand, just the picture of love. But it’s so far from what he had growing up, and you just realize that his greatest desire was really to have that happy family. But his parents are dead, he’s lost just about everyone at Lotus Pier—it’s so heartbreaking.

God, he just looks so broken! I’m sad now.

So even though I know the cost of Jiang Cheng’s happiness is Wei Wuxian giving up his own Golden Core, I still feel so happy here, seeing Jiang Cheng feeling like himself again. It’s because Wei Wuxian knows Jiang Cheng’s heart truly that he could offer up his own future so that Jiang Cheng could have a better one. I also just love this shot of Jiang Cheng kowtowing to the Immortal One, thanking her for healing him, and the camera pans past him, showcasing the beautiful scenery again. And then he walks down the mountain path with such a spring in his step! I love it!

I love that Wei Wuxian is still able to use his mind and play to their weaknesses. Wang Lingjao is extremely superstitious and fearful of the supernatural, and just the idea that he could haunt them scares the shit out of her. It’s just very cool to me that with all the abuse he endures, he still maintains a clear head and is able to fight back with his wit. This is yet another reason why I get annoyed when I see Wei Wuxian characterized as an idiot or someone who isn’t very smart. He proves his wit in just about every scene, so I don’t know why he gets this reputation in fanon. I feel like it’s derived from some overused yaoi/shojo trope where the “girl” has to be less smart than the “guy.” I don’t know how many things I’ve watched and read with a scatterbrained (but not charming) female lead—it’s overused.

This is so cool, because Wei Wuxian is scared out of his mind—he’s terrified of being left to die in the Burial Mounds. He’s heard all the stories: people don’t return, their souls get torn apart, etc. But what is cool is that he turns everything around and makes this place his source of power. He’s the man who conquered the Burial Mounds. It’s very satisfying to see that. FYI, I’m not going to talk about how he falls for like 20 minutes.

But I do think it’s really cool how the dark spirits catch him (and that’s all I’ll say).

This part still gives me major chills: you hear so many people calling out Wei Wuxian’s name, and then a “Wei Ying” breaks through. My breath always catches in my throat the first time I hear it. And then you hear it again, and the other voices have faded away before you hear it a third time. And that all feels nice until the screaming starts, which is hard to listen to, let alone hard to watch Wei Wuxian go through the mental turmoil.

Lan Wangji is back, bitches! He’s got a new title, a new headdress, and he’s hotter than ever. Jokes aside, though, this entrance is beyond epic. Other than that tiny glimpse of him in the last episode, it’s been ages since we’ve seen him, and it’s so satisfying that we get this great entrance, walking up this enormous staircase. Obviously by this point, I’m ecstatic to see him (it’s been way too long). Everything about this scene is great, from his entrance, to the way he uses his guqin as a spiritual tool, to the way he and Jiang Cheng are now a team. I don’t think there’s an awful lot of comradery there, but they have a common goal: find Wei Wuxian.

So we’re not really used to seeing a ton of emotion from Lan Wangji. Even when he’s annoyed, he doesn’t tend to show it. But, man, he is pissed here. Because of the magic of fiction, he’s probably heard the Wens’ conversation as he was walking up the stairs, so he heard them mocking Wei Wuxian (and the Yunmeng Jiang Sect), and he is not happy about it. He even uses the Chord Assassination Technique right off the bat against at least two of the Wen soldiers. Lan Wangji means business, and he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants.

The other great thing is that he doesn’t even need to come up all the way. He defeats them at a distance, while he’s still on the stairs. And the power and respect he commands is so great that they all know him by his face.

What Wen Chao does here is so relatable. His girlfriend is freaking out, having nightmares, convinced Wei Wuxian is going to turn into a ferocious ghost and haunt them until they lose their minds, and he, of course, rationalizes: they’ve sent so many people to the Burial Mounds and none of them have ever come back. In other words, “You’re being ridiculous.” But when he turns away from her, you can see the fear in his own eyes. When something spooky happens, my first step is always to rationalize—there’s a logical explanation for most things, right? And it always makes you feel better to rationalize it to someone else, but when you’re alone and thinking, your mind starts to wonder, your imagination starts to go wild. It’s easy to psyche yourself up in the dark and quiet of the night.

There’s this really gorgeous cello version of “Wuji” playing during this scene—it’s so beautiful, so moving, hitting me right in the feels. The look on Lan Wangji’s face when Jiang Cheng is telling him about how he and Wei Wuxian were supposed to meet in Yiling, how he thought Wei Wuxian had abandoned him to meet up with Lan Wangji in Lanling—he looks so defeated there. Defeated despite taking down the Qishan Indoctrination Bureau. Defeated because he hasn’t found who he’s been searching for. And then he holds Suibian so tenderly and lovingly—I’m emotional, okay?

It’s really cute and heartwarming to see Jin Zixuan starting to fall for Jiang Yanli. We’ve known for quite some time how Yanli feels for him, so it’s quite satisfying to see his walls come down as he starts to care more and more about her. He becomes protective of her. When she gasps at the hanging head at the gates of Qinghe, his instinct is to hold her—of course, he stops himself, but it’s very obvious that he wants to comfort her physically (and not in a dirty way, get your minds out of the gutter).

I love the dichotomy here: on one end, you have Jin Zixuan asking Lan Wangji where Wei Wuxian is, while you have Jiang Yanli echoing that on the other end with Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng can’t answer—he’s crying, trembling, emotionally responding to his sister without speaking. And Lan Wangji can’t speak either. His lips part, but no words come out. Again, you get this great sense of defeat from him—he’s completely at a loss, but he can’t or chooses not to show those emotions.

It’s also interesting how they kind of clipped the reunion between the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in favor of showing the conversation between Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. In my opinion, it’s to remind us of the reunion that isn’t happening right now—the one that should have been—the one between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. And why isn’t it happening? The conversation reminds us that he’s still missing. I don’t doubt the importance of the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in this story—they are obviously instrumental to the plot and to Wei Wuxian—but it’s choices like this where the writers/scene directors remind us that the relationship to focus on is the one between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, and not Jiang Cheng, holds onto Suibian, the only remaining item that is most spiritually connected to Wei Wuxian. Isn’t that interesting?

“A-Cheng, you’ve grown up. As your sister, there’s nothing I can do but worry about you.” Such a wise line—such a sad line. This really brings out how powerless she feels in the lives of her brothers. She’s a bystander, she has no influence. All she can do is watch and worry, and nothing either of them says or does will change that. It’s something we as parents and caretakers and guardians at some point have to admit: we can’t control our children’s lives, we can’t control those we take care of. Once they reach a point in their lives, it’s them who has to make their own decisions. They must thrive on their own, they must fail on their own. And all we can do is watch and worry and hope for the best. God, Yanli breaks my heart.

Me in bed when I watch a scary movie any time of the day.

She does crazy so well, though.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |

#cql #the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #wen chao #wang lingjiao #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql rewatch #ep19

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