#see THIS is why i tried to kill myself in highschool okay

[thebewilderer]

AGH i hate that thing where usually when your brain passively yet explicitly Predicts A Thing and then it happens with or without your at-the-time acknowledging the prediction

and then after this happens a dozen times you start recognizing it as a pattern and so every time you notice that Feeling happens in your brain where you know it's Predicting A Thing you start panicking about The Thing and how to prevent it but a) you know about the forer effect and b) even if that wasn't a thing you assume that the fact that you know about The Thing That Will Happen surely will affect the happen-ness of The Thing That Will Happen and so you try to avoid it but you also realize that by trying to avoid it you might encounter the Curse Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy which means that The Thing will happen because you tried to prevent it which just makes you panic about whether or not you should try to prevent it or not and-

i fully acknowledge that this is an OCD thing but that doesn't make it less distressing

#ocd #actually ocd #catch me in a full on panic at four in the morning because of a bizarre series of coincidences that lead my ocd brain to- #-conclusively conclude that Bad Thing will happen #see if i even acknowledge what Bad Thing is then it will happen #i literally cannot even voice my fears without triggering the ocd #see this is why i tried to kill myself in highschool #ugh #i'm doing better now i swear #only a minor Complete Mental Breakdown this time #HUGE improvement #i HATE that the best treatment for ocd is lack of reassurance i HATE IT #it just means that i have to continue this Complete Mental Breakdown until The Thing doesn't happen #(which of course i know that my obsessions about The Thing and The Thing occurring are completely unrelated) #(which just makes it more fuCKING infuriating) #see THIS is why i tried to kill myself in highschool okay #or at least the greater portion of the reason #if anyone has any Techniques That Won't Mutate Into A Compulsion now is the fucking time please #agh #hate this #ih #pers #suicide mention #<- since i mention it in the tags #better be safe than not? i guess?

[obsidiancreates]

One Undead To Another (Chapter 11)

Gus sleeps for most of the day, and when he wakes up he immediately calls Father Wesley. 

“Gus! What a surprise, how’re you doing?”

“I’m uh… yeah, anyway.”

“Oh. That bad?”

“Father, what do you know about vampires? Specifically how to proof a home against them?”

“Vampires? I’m afraid I’m less versed in vampires than demons, my boy. For one thing, demons are real.”

“Well… how would I keep a demon that acts like a vampire out of my house?”

“Rephrasing it doesn’t change my sphere of knowledge, Gus. However, I would generally advise keeping holy items very near your person. Do you have anything like a rosary necklace?”

“No. I’ll look for one online.”

“Good, good. Now, if you’re truly convinced an unholy creature is out for you, I also advise keeping a bible in every room, and staying far away from any demonic or occult activity or items.”

“Way ahead of you. … Kind of.”

“What else, ahum… I can bless a bottle of water for you over the phone.”

“That works?”

“I don’t see why it shouldn’t.”

“Alright, holy water… now, do you know where to get bedsheets with crosses all over them?”

“Not personally… but I know several of the students here at the university have asked during confession if sleeping on bedsheets with Jesus’s face on them is a sin, so I believe you’ll find what you need online or in specialty shops.”

“Great. Now, let’s talk about the ethics of using bible pages as wallpaper.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“God.” Shawn waits. Nothing.

“Oh my go-” Immediate coughing, ash puffing out as he tries to cover his mouth.

“Okay,” he wheezes. He picks up the receipt, his own handwriting now following Gus’s as he adds to the list. He adds Can’t claim God to it. Good thing he doesn’t believe in God anyway. Should he? Probably not. Is Gus going to keep believing in God after all this? The vampire thing is kind of confirming his existence, but the psychic thing is negating it, so… what’s even the deal there?

“Any chance anyone wants to clear that up for me?”

No vision, voices, or Feelings.

“Great. Well, my throat is just about shot.” More than, actually– he’s pretty sure it’s bleeding from how dry it is, especially now. “Any chance I can receive a little divine guidance on how to not kill people and get some blood at the same time? Blood bank doesn’t count, that’s a cop-out and a cliche.”

“... Come on. Give me something to work with. I’m not– I’m not used to being this… this lost, okay? I…”

Died. Made a bad decision, got into a bad situation, and died. No clever last-minute saves, no stalling until Lassie and Jules got there, no sitting in The Blueberry knowing he would store the incident away as Another Fun Anecdote. 

He died. 

And now he could hurt the people he loves most. And he’s always been reckless, and impulsive, and inconsiderate of consequence, and it’s gotten his loved ones into trouble in the past, but now that trouble is him and it feels…

… It actually feels worryingly normal, just… more present. The little twist, whisper, condemnation in the back of his head whenever something went horribly wrong and everyone else paid for it is stronger now. And that means he should start really listening to it.

But it’s all he’s listening to, apparently. He scoffs. “Fine. I’ll figure it out myself.

He gets on his bike and heads for the Psych office. Sure, he could do his research at home, but he always works better in the office anyway.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Juliet wakes up, the first thing she does is call her partner.

“O’Hara?”

“Carlton, how much do either of us know about vampires?”

“I read Dracula once in highschool.”

“That’s what I was afraid of… we’re going to need to either do our own research, or rely on Gus to direct us how to handle this.”

“Way ahead of you, O’Hara.”

“... How?”

“I called McNab to tell him to look for any preserved journals or personal items in the remains of that mansion. By the way, apparently Spencer told the whole department we’re sick.”

“Oh my god, that’s right, he went down there. Did Buzz say anything? Did Shawn act… okay?”

“He said Spencer kept his motorcycle helmet on the whole time and sounded like someone took a sander to his throat.”

“Buzz said that.”

“Well… I’m paraphrasing.”

“Right. Okay, well, hopefully Buzz finds something for us. But we should make a plan for if he doesn’t.”

“How? The only source of information we can actually consider even moderately reliable is whatever that cult left behind.”

“Well, I’m about ninety percent sure that as soon as Gus vampire-proofs his house, he and Shawn will start doing incredibly stupid and dangerous experiments to test what’s real and what’s not.”

“Undoubtedly.”

“We’ll have to offer to help.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Today of all days,” Chief Vick mutters, sorting through files to make room for the one coming in later. “Henry, I know this isn’t exactly in your job description but–”

“I’ll visit the scene, Karen.”

“Thank you. With your son and both of my best detectives out today, we may as well be looking at a cold case without your help. Now, the house burned down is the same one they all visited in connection with the three murders from earlier this week. Lassiter and O’Hara had dismissed the residents as suspects, but in my opinion this feels like some kind of act of revenge. We’ve got a reported six bodies, all burnt to nothing but ash and bones.”

“Ash and bones, huh?” Henry seems to mull something over in his head, pursing his lips and nodding. “Any witness reports?”

“None, it’s a secluded area. Even the road leading up to the driveway is practically abandoned.”

“Why would anyone live in an area like that?”

“Your son thought it was because the group staying there weren’t planning on sticking around for long.”

“Because of the murders.”

“Precisely. You know, I have to say I didn’t understand Lassiter and O’Hara’s hunches, on this one. I think your son was onto something. I I want you keeping an eye out for signs of other foul play while you’re there, anything that suggests these investors weren’t being honest, about their intentions for visiting.”

“Nothing suspicious slips by me, Karen. You know that.”

“Good. Now get going.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

McNab picks over the remains of the basement, eyes wide as he pulls out another horror-movie style wiggle-bladed dagger. “Detective Lassiter is going to be really upset he’s missing out on this search.”

“DIdn’t even know the guy could get sick,” the crime CSI guy says, snapping a photo of one of the piles of bones. “Or the psychic. Or Detective O’Hara. The other guy, yeah.”

“I know. Shawn getting sick seems impossible. … Should we send them all a get-well card?”

“Yeah, sure, and I’ll let Lassiter know I’ve got a squirrel feeder in my yard.”

“... I’m going to pick one up on the way back to the station.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry pulls up to Gus’s apartment complex, walks up to the door, and knocks.

He hears a cough (too immediate, too rough, he can practically hear Gus dramatically doubling over like when he and Shawn were kids playing something that involved them dying), a “One second!” and then footsteps.

Gus answers the door in a hastily thrown on robe (belt is loosely tied, button-up shirt clearly visible underneath) and sleep slippers (the toe cover is bent on the left one, Gus shoved them on in a panic). “Mr. Spencer?” (forced raspiness to the voice, he coughs into his hand like he’s on a soap opera, no visible irritation in his throat when he’s coughing).

“Gus. Yeah, Shawn swung by earlier, said you were all sick, figured I’d check in and make sure this wasn’t some lame-ass stunt to get out of a case he was being blocked on.”

“Oh, uh, no. No, all must’ve caught someone from one of the suspects, maybe.”

“Yeah, Shawn sounded like hell. You uh, sound a little less under weather, though.”

“My immune system is just highly evolved.”

“Mmm-hmm. You know, Shawn’s throat was really the only symptom he had, actually. He had his helmet on the whole time, too.”

“Forgetting to take his bike helmet off doesn’t seem like a symptom to you?”

“Kid, he forgot to put on pants before coming to me for advice last week.”

“Right. Well um–” His rasp is slipping, voice going in and out of its normal sound. “– I’m going to go back to bed now.”

“Sure, sure. Just wanted to double-check. Oh, and uh, before I go.”

“Yes?”

“Where were you and Shawn last night?”

Gus’s face doesn’t know what to do– so he’s thinking about how to react. He settles on confusion after a beat. “Well, I was in bed all night. Sawing logs, counting sheep, catching sweet Z’s, snoring up a storm.”

“And Shawn?”

“Not sure. Probably doing the same, or watching a horror movie.”

“Horror movie.”

“Or, any, movie.”

“... Alright. Well, rest up, we’ve got a big update in your current case. House of a group of suspects burned down last night.”

“What? Oh… no!” 

Henry smirks. Just like he remembers from the school plays. “Bye, Guster.”

He leaves, and hears the door slam shut behind him. His smirk falls off as he goes over the information in his head. It’s all adding up to a concerning picture.

He’s certain was there, at that house, while it burned down. The raspy throat is obviously because he inhaled smoke and ash, the refusal to take off the helmet probably to hide signs of an altercation, and ‘everyone being sick’ just about waves a big old flag saying ‘FOUR PARTY COVER-UP’ in his face. He doubts Shawn would burn a place down on purpose, but the old ‘grease fire in the bathroom distraction’ is a plan Shawn’s thrown out more than once, both in his childhood and adulthood.

And this time, six people ended up dead.

But why would Lassiter and Juliet cover that up for him? Gus, that’s no surprise, Juliet is, but Lassiter is the most perplexing part of this puzzle.

He gets into the black-and-white and turns on the siren so he can get to the scene as fast as possible. His son might’ve accidentally manslaughter six people pulling a dumb stunt to fake psychic with. He’ll be damned if he lets Officer McNab find evidence of that before he does.

He needs to gather enough to confront Shawn with, after all.

#psych #psychusa #psych usa #psych 2006 #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

[bokettochild]

the reason you aren’t saying specifically why you’re uncomfortable writing it is because you don’t want to come out and say you’re homophobic lmao

Alright, Anon, you want to know? You really want to know? You want me to say why I don't like writing romance? Okay! I'll tell you! Since you're so desperate to know! Since y'all keep asking for it! Since people keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing!

Warning! If you push, I may be quiet but I do snap!

I was abused for over a decade by an elder sibling who claims to have had a crush on me the whole time.

I watched my parents fight and spent my nights having nightmares that they would break up and split my family and destroy it.

My parents had so many children that they could only focus on the ones with special needs and as the only somewhat normal kid, with no physical, mental, or learning disabilities, difficult allergies, or temper issues, I fell into the background and got forgotten more often than not unless they needed me to take care of someone else.

I had to help raise seven children and my abuser because my family couldn't afford to live unless both my parents worked and neither of my older siblings wanted to watch the kids. Those kids would regularly tell me how much they hated me, said I should kill myself, and told me to go to hell. They would also leave me to run a house and a small farm, struggle through highschool, and tend an infant and toddler mostly be myself because no one wanted to help and I couldn't make them.

The first time someone had a crush on someone in my family it was a weird stalker who wouldn't leave her alone and my mom had to threaten the guy with a gun to get him to back off because he wouldn't listen to 'no'.

The second time a guy showed interest, he was an abusive and manipulative ass that threatened my sister's life when she tried to part ways with him.

I grew up basically locked in my house with all human beings having to be screened by my parents before we were allowed to hang out, and the moment they were displeasing we would stop seeing them. I have never been allowed around people my own age without my parents hanging over my shoulder.

The one guy to have a crush on me came on way too fast and adoring and it scared the living crap out of me for one reason; I have been taught that I have to earn any love I receive, but I must give without question. This boy? He was our pastor's son whom my parents let past because they knew him and his family and didn't think twice about him and me as a couple.

He came at me like a golden retriever with big ol' puppy eyes and a wide smile and respected me as a human being. It scared me so much I broke up with him as soon as he started talking serious about us. He tried getting back together a few weeks ago and I had to explain to him, like I am with you now, that I haven't a single flying clue what healthy love is, romantic or platonic. (He's a great person, but he deserves healthy love, not what I can give.)

That's why I write. I write because I'm trying to figure out people, trying to imagine why people care about each other.

I love the Chain because my only therapy throughout my life was finding stories about people who found others who would care for them and love them even though their families wouldn't. I like imagining one day it could happen to me, and I could maybe experience care where I don't have to work myself to tears and nightmares to earn a 'thank you' or a 'good job' instead of 'finally!' or a 'I hate you'.

I write the Chain as I do because I am trying to figure out what a healthy family is, and how they would work through their issues, their traumas and their hurts. I write the relationships I write because I am trying to imagine what it would like to be in them.

Found family? I can try and cope with my trauma.

Romance? That scares the crap out of me.

The only ships I am even slightly comfortable with writing are those of figures I see as being parental in one way or another. Why? Because if the parents aren't happy with each other, then the family will break and be hurt. So I try and write happy couples as parents and include just enough for you to know they love each other, and then leave it at that.

Do I understand why they love each other? No! Do I know how they fell in love? Beats me!

With this in mind, maybe I am homophobic, but if I am, then I am also hetrophobic, because gender doesn't change my fear of love.

If you wanted me to agree, that's as close as I think you will get.

But there you are, Anon, that is why. You wanted answers, so I gave you my answers: love scares me and romance is the most intense and terrifying kind of love.

Hope you're happy with your answer!

#personal #abuse tw #homophobia mention #neglect mention #neglect tw #abuse mention #stalking mention #i wish i could still physically cry

[poisonouswritings]

im sorry i have to say this i dont want to offend but ur mom is so fucked up. every time i see a post youve made or tags youve written on another post and it starts out like "one time my mom" i prepare myself to hear the most buckwild shit imaginable. i hope ur ok

No you're fine!! Don't worry about being offensive lol.

My mom has been going to therapy so she is kinda working on some of her issues but she's still an utter shit show

Little bit of a rant under the cut, tw for mentions of abuse/slurs/assault/self-harm/etc. All pretty vague but better safe than sorry.

And, thank you for being concerned. It means a lot.

My mom is incredibly emotionally abusive (she would be physically abusive if she could be but she has carpal tunnel in both wrists and is also half a foot shorter than me so the few times she's tried it didn't really do anything). I know that. Took me a while to realize it. I remember there was this one time - I was 14 or so - and she was screaming in my face and I was just zoned out wishing that she would just beat me to a fucking pulp so I could have physical evidence of how she hurt me. So that there would be no 'oh she didn't mean it' or 'maybe I misunderstood, I should stop being so sensitive' or whatever. I craved confirmation of my pain. That's how I finally accepted it was abuse.

Admittedly she had a fucked up background (was abused as a child and had an abusive relationship) and it severely messed her up. Being raised in a strict Hispanic Catholic household where the elders were always right, anything going against God was horrible, and you were constantly criticized for the way you looked and acted, none of that helped either. First time I met my great aunt (the one who raised my mom) she told me I was disgustingly fat and should starve myself so boys would want me. So I see where my mom got it from. I think that's why I lost it so hard at Turning Red.

Things didn't used to be this bad. When I was younger my mom and I were really close, y'know? But then I hit middle school and started forming my own opinions that differed from hers (and started showing more clear signs of nuerodivergence) and shit hit the fan. It's one of those things where 80% of the time we get along fine but then the other 20% she's basically calling me a dyke-slut-whore-retard etc etc. Don't remember if I mentioned this or not but I'll throw it here again anyways, she refused to let me go to therapy when I was in middle school (when I was suicidal) because she 'didnt want to be the mother of the crazy kid'. When I was in highschool and was self-harming she screamed at me because 'what if the boys see it then they'll never want to date [me]' and then bought me a cardigan so I could cover the marks. She refused to acknowledge I was autistic until I could use it on my college applications. She always makes sure she's the biggest victim in the room. Constantly talks about/threatens suicide when I call her out on her shit. Dumps all of her emotional problems onto me. I was fucking six or seven when she told me about my dad's affair, and she's just continued sharing every little thing with me ever since. I make jokes about it but honestly,,, if she wasn't a Catholic who believes suicide = Hell, I'd be afraid she would kill me in a murder-suicide thing. I've had friends who have met her irl tell me that if I ever suddenly disappear they're just gonna assume she was involved somehow. So. Idk. There's a lot more shit she does that I haven't talked about yet because it hasn't come up, but yeah it's always the weirdest shit.

Oh I am definitely not okay. I have a pathetically low self-esteem and need constant validation or else I assume everyone hates me because that's how I grew up. I really wanna talk about myself and my oc work but I get anxious that everyone will hate it and think it's dumb and insult me for it because that's how it was growing up. I call myself an idiot because that's what I was always called growing up. I will put up with massive amounts of abuse/manipulation because that's how it always was growing up. Any time someone compliments me my initial reaction is to assume it's a sarcastic insult because that's how it's always been growing up. I've had people tell me that sometimes they feel shitty about their home life but then they look at my mom and remember how great they have it, so at least my trauma serves some greater purpose.

I try my best to remain positive and laugh about things, and that helps somewhat. My Life Is A Fucking Soap Opera And I Will Liveblog That Shit. I probably should get into therapy but since I'm not even allowed to talk on the phone without my mom listening at my door, that probably won't happen anytime soon.

Idk guys. If you have a decent parent then go give them a hug. And if you don't, then, rip to us.

#anon asks #ozzy answers #ozzy speaks #cw abuse mention #cw abuse #cw slurs #cw self harm mention

[polyghouls]

—DREAM JOURNAL—

I was in homeroom, back in my Highschool, but it was led by my APUSH teacher: the doctor.

We were completing a six-panel research assignment. I was almost done, but couldn’t quite do it. The bell rang and I still had a panel left.

I rushed to finish it and write down everything as fast as I could, but the doctor ripped it away from me. “Sorry, class is over.” No! I tried to take it back, tried to reason. “I’m almost done! Just a little time. Just a little.”

The doctor’s demeanor changed. No longer passive aggressive. Now furious.

“Alright. Okay.”

He kidnaps me. I wake up in his house. It’s a massive manor, three stories high. I’m kept on the second floor.

The doctor keeps singing a song…

“My second floor skylight… a pretty second door skylight….”

I come to realize his house spins in three sections: each floor rotates and spins like a blender.

The second floor has a massive garage door. He’ll open the garage door with me still inside. I’ll be flung out of the building, crash, and splatter on the ground.

He’s fed up with me. With my squeaky, annoying voice. With my constant questions. With my cowardice. With my selfishness. “Just a little more time!” No more. He’s ending me.

I try to escape. My phone is dead; I can’t make any calls.

I’m trapped for what feels like hours.

Finally, he succeeds. His skylight opens, the place spins around, and I’m flung out of the building.

Miraculously, I survive! But I’m met with someone strange: my younger sister.

She’s filled with malice. I can’t pin why. She wants me gone.

I try to run. I’m so sorry, sister. I never should’ve been so irritating. But it’s no good.

I can’t call. My phones dead. No friends and no wife, and no anyone. I’m at my end.

The doctor may still be looking for me. My sister finds me first.

She ties me to a tree branch by a busy road. Cars are blazing; it’s a Main Street. If I fall in, there’s no way to get out.

She beats me like a tether ball. She kicks my stomach, beats my legs, breaks my body. Ultimately, I fall. I crash. I tumble down the ditch, into the road. A car speeds close.

I black out.

When I come to, I feel light. My body is ethereal. Am I a part of this?

I’m a ghost.

My sister looks over my corpse, with pride. My mother drives closeby. My boyfriend and my other sister are in the car.

“You killed her?!”

“Yes.”

“You weren’t supposed to do that. Oh, well…”

My death is like a broken windshield. It’s inconvenient, but not heartbreak. No tears are shed. I’m simply gone.

We all get in the car; my body is in the trunk. Though I’m dead, I float inside and buckle in. I don’t have to, but habit makes me.

No one can see me. No one knows I’m here. I’m a spectator eternal. No blood, no weight. Like a dream, or like air.

We start to drive. My other sister, the youngest, stares through me. Or at me?

“Is that-“

Some faint recognition. She was always spiritual. A little strange. Maybe she knows I’m lingering.

But the thought doesn’t stay long. My mother’s boyfriend comments:

“How did they all get here?”

Who are they?

Penguins. Innumerable penguins. Penguins on the road, in the street, in the grass. They’re covering the place. An infestation. Like tourists.

They’re just here, now. One hits the windshield, but it’s not injured.

There’s just a lot of penguins now.

“Does anyone want food?”

We stop at a shack. A local place with rotting wood.

“I’m not hungry,” says everyone. My mother’s the only one who wants to eat.

I feel a little guilty. “I’ll eat.”

Of course, no one responds. I’m nothing. I’m dead. I say no words.

Still, I go in. And my mother, a little guilty, says “A table for two.” How did she know?

The others have driven away now. We sit at the table. She orders for both of us. I’m a ghost, I can’t speak, no one knows I’m there.

But suddenly, I remember! My bags. My prized possessions. They’re in her car… they’re driving home.

I leave the table. I’m a ghost, so I don’t excuse myself. She wouldn’t know I’m not there.

I float effortlessly over the penguin-filled roads. So easily. No one can see me.

I reappear at home, but it’s not home. It’s the old stucco place from out-of-town. Oh, well. We live here.

I get my bags from the car, I float indoors, I set them in my bedroom. Effortless. The place looks a lot colder, now. Huh.

I should go back to the restaurant.

I return, and I see something tragic. My food’s there. My mom finished hers, but my plate’s still full. She’s laughing.

“Go on, honey! How do you like your food?”

She’s not talking to me. She stares at the food, expecting a response… then laughs even harder.

I understand. She’s ignorant of me. She’s made a faux-Pepper. A collage of memories. That’s who she’s feeding, that’s who she invited. Table for two.

I’m not wanted, so I leave. When I return home, it’s nighttime. I should take my meds.

But… I don’t have a body. None of it. Do I take meds? I feel poisoned. I should take them.

For the first time, something speaks to me. To me, directly.

“Ghosts don’t need that stuff, but some ghosts take ghost hormones. They might want to be human. It makes them human-like.”

Huh? Ghost hormones?

I see it. A white vial with a gold label. It glows, like I do. A little translucent. I immediately understand. “Ghost hormones.”

But I don’t want to be a human. I never was a person, really. I don’t need that.

The only thing I’d want to be is a little girl-like. Not the rotting, bare chested corpse.

The voice speaks again:

“Or… if they want to be a girl-thing.”

They say it hesitantly. As if they only halfway mean it. But it doesn’t matter. I swallow the drugs. I take a whole dose.

I’ll be the prettiest ghost. I have to be.

Suddenly, understanding. The voice continues…

“Ghost HRT. It’s for ghost puppies. A ‘puppy’ is a transitioning thing: a ghost that imitates a person, may one day be a person. It’s far from what a ghost really is, which is a monster. It’s something in-between. A person-in-training.”

I understand. A “puppy”. I feel like that word’s being misused, but I’ll go along with it. I don’t make the ghost rules.

“Be sure to read the side effects! Be informed!”

Side effects? Okay.

I read the label: “In some ghosts, the lower half of your face will slip off, making a bloody crescent smile. In others, you will bark and howl, eyes dull, thoughtless. In most ghosts, you will turn docile. Puppy-like entirely. You’ll roll on your back and go yipyipyip.”

These aren’t bad at all! They’re cute side effects. I can live with this.

“Oh, and nausea.”

Oh. Well, that’s fine.

I begin my training. I understand, now. I am a “puppy”, in the ghost way. A ghost puppy.

But I recollect. I didn’t want to die, really. I had a lot to live for. A lot left. If I could choose to live longer, I would have. It was all a terrible accident.

Anyways, I think of my wife. Does she know that I’m dead yet? Dear god, what about my friends? Do they know?

I think of my best friend. They’re very skilled in this stuff. Very spiritual and otherworldly. They make excellent incense and charms. Surely they’d understand. I can tell them I’m sort-of-around, they could tell my wife, and maybe things would be okay.

Somehow, I touch my phone. I can use it, now. Before, my fingers(?) slipped right through the metal. Now I can touch it, manipulate it.

I open… Facebook? What? I’ve never used Facebook. Wrong.

Ghost fingers are too slippery. Anyways, I open Twitter.

I DM my friend. I can’t believe this is working. Is this against ToS? Will I get ghost-banned? I’m kinda ghost afraid.

“Meet me at the library. Something important.”

The message is golden and glowing, like my hormones. Like me. Ghost cool.

I do some more research on this… “puppy” thing. Ghost puppy. Miraculously, I find this document:

“Communicating with ghost puppies: a comprehensive guide”

It’s written for ghosts. Not ghost puppies, just regular ghosts. The ones who aren’t on ghost hormones.

“It’s quite frustrating when your only company’s ghost puppies. They’re self-loathing and empty-headed. More people than ghost, even. Icky. But you can still find common ground. Maybe one’ll be your friend.”

Hm… I really don’t care about being a person. But fine.

“Ghost puppies have long, winding beards. Grey and wooly. They’re wrinkled and missing teeth. Constantly drunk off the puppy-ness of being. And imitating what people do. They pretend to be cooks, or cashiers, or presidents.”

Beards? No! Wrinkles, no, no. Ghost puppies sound disgusting. The image of a ghost puppy forms clear in my mind: a hillbilly. Drunk of ghost moonshine. Still acting like a strange pseudo-person.

Disgusting. Revolting! I can’t be that, right?

Whatever. Time for my meeting.

I meet my friend at the library… though “meet” is a little generous. They can’t see me, but I can see them. I text them when they’re close to where I need.

“Come here. Do you have your ouija board?”

They do. Excellent.

I talk through it. I spell and ask what must be asked.

“G-H-O-S-T”

“P-E-P-P-E-R”

“R-E-V-E-N-G-E”

Wait. Revenge?

Right. Revenge. That’s what I want. That terrible doctor and my sister killed me. My mother was so apathetic. I want to pay for my gruesome death! Then I’ll have peace!

I realize that’s not a very puppy thought. But I don’t like those things anyways.

They understand, now.

“You were killed in cold blood? My friend, I’m so sorry. I’ll tell your wife, she’ll be sad, but relieved. Can you save us from Hell?”

More or less. If the times got tough, I could fight the hoard of slime and magma.

“Excellent.”

I return home. Out of habit, since I am a ghost of habit, I imitate people. Maybe I can still be puppy. Just work through it.

I lay flat on the garage floor. I open the garage door periodically. A ghost, maybe, speaks to me.

“You train to be a person?”

“Yes! This is the ritual. Someday, I will do it for real. I will open a garage door as a human being.”

“You want that? Humans are terrible things. You’ll die, you’ll be miserable.”

I think. I pause. I’m laying on the floor.

“Were you happy before? Your life was taken from you. Perhaps a gift. Ghosts are much stronger, much greater. You’ve been fed a lie. You work at the wheel, ceaseless, out of habit, and falter at the end. Is that how you shall spend eternity?”

No. No, that can’t be!

An understanding comes to me. I don’t want to be a person. No amount of this is worth it.

I’m scared of what a ghost is. What’s on the other side. But the raw and vile power of monsterhood could be me. And I won’t regret this.

I throw my ghost hormones against the wall. No more puppies.

I won’t be a person.

My form twists. It is something real, now, with dark fur, built like a fox, or dog, or rabbit. I have massive claws and terrible fangs. A beast of dark burden.

I carry a sigil, circular, a burning blue atop my head. I feel that I am like something I knew. I feel that I am real.

I am beautiful and monstrous, and there is no chance of being that pale puppy-thing. What they might have called a “person”.

I know vengeance, in time, goes through. The perishing, the great equals. The ghosthood and death. But I care very little.

For the first time, I am alive. For the first time, I am happy.

[neon-witch-ritual]

Rambling from a weirdo

Tw (mentions of self destructive habits, self harm, suicide attempt, dehumanisation maybe?)

I think I was a very weird child growing up. Like a proper introvert, loner, an android trying to learn normal human behaviour. I had these animal instincts (still do) that would tell me to hiss or growl at annoying people, when I was happy I would purr and when pissed of I wanted to claw their eyes out or at least scratch them.

I had panic and very strong anxiety when it came to something that would scare me (99% it had to do with school) it also didn't help the constant migraines and my skeleton like body.

I also had a weird and blasé relationship with death as a concept. I knew its natural and that everything comes to an end eventually, but I never was grossed out with bodily harm, sometimes I imagined what it would be like to be killed or to kill, commit suicide,watch someone die or chop my arm off.

So I quickly became desensitised to suicidal ideation and morbid thoughts. When somebody angered me I would retreat to my room, put on music and act my frustration and anger by imaging them dying or being in an accident etc.

I wasn't a stranger to being bullied or rather ostracized for my lack of social skills and that was fine with me... at least most of the time. After a while of watching gore anime and having an active imagination it bloomed into me thinking I am a monster.

Well, I think (thought?) that I'm not a human being Or (at minimum) the very normalised functional child that I was supposed to be and I never was. I saw how others interacted with eachother and saw the discrepancies in my own behaviour. Then telling myself that it was okay Bc i wasn't a human sooo I didn't need to be like them. And that I deserved it for not being normal and having weird fantasies about killing people etc.

(Does that count as being dehumanising towards myself?)

Anyway the loneliness grew and grew, and I spent the entire time living inside my daydream talking to myself through characters I got obsessed with.

Then I decided that I'm never going to reach adulthood, never grow up which meant that I was completely fine and detached to the topic of self harm and killing myself. I actually thought that I would kill myself before I reached 18. Well I tried it after I turned 18 by overdosing on painkillers and clearly It didn't work. Bef you ask it was because of highschool test from law that I didn't study for Bc procrastinating is my passion.

Anyway I don't even know why I wrote this down and posted it for people to see I hope I didn't upset or trigger anyone accidentally, that would be another tally to my growing list yikes

#potentially triggering #tw self destruction #self deprecation #tw sui ideation #sui attempt #a long winded ramble #about myself #not very well structured #rant? maybe?

[unbenchthekench]

Hi yes hello it is me again.

Been a while since I’ve had a post on here bout my ever declining mental health. Well if you know the pattern you know what’s up then. Do any of you ever just get that overwhelming, crushing feeling that your life is going no where and you’re wasting the best years of your life? Because that’s what’s fuckin happing to me, I tell you what. I’m sitting here, in my bed, Caramelldansen blastin in my ears at 2:41 AM. Thinking about how I’m turning 26 in 2 months and a couple days. Thinking about how much of my life I’ve wasted and how the best years of my life are passing me by and there’s nothing I can really do about it.

I love my friends and family, I love them all to death. But I just feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness that crushes me everyday that I’m alive. This feeling that like, while I have people around me that love and appreciate me, there always feels like something is missing. Like someone I can call my own. Someone I can spend my life with, talk to about how life is going, someone to hold and tell me everything is going to be okay. Someone I can do the same for in return. Someone I can love and they can love me back. To fill this void I feel in my heart. In my soul. Someone to help me escape this crushing burden.

But as I say all that, at the same time, I know I’m not ready. I know I can’t handle a relationship or be the person I need to be for her. I know I need to fix up the mess that is my mind and life before I bring anyone into this. I know if I tried at all It’d go terribly. So why do I still feel this hollowness? Why can’t I be happy with my solitude? Why can’t I accept I can be alone? Why can’t I be happy? Why am I forced to yearn and crave without chance to make good on it? Why does my mind torment me so, that it makes me crave death? I’d never end my own life. Death terrifies me far too much. My love for my friends and family is too great to put them through that kind of pain. But fuck me I just want to not exist.

One of my best friends is getting married next year. I’m so genuinely excited and proud of him. My boy is living his best life, double majoring in his passion, living with the love of his life, getting married in a year’s time. I’m so fuckin happy for him it makes me want to cry thinking about it. Back in highschool I thought I’d have killed myself before any of my friends got close to getting married. Looks like I was wrong there. Someday I hope to find a girl for me like my boy did. I’m so proud of him. But it’s probably just not in the cards for me. It probably never will be. I want to accept it, but my mind won’t let me. I don’t want to be alone but I will be.

Why am I posting this on tumblr? And why my main and not a side blog? Idk. Honestly I think I want someone to find this. Like I know my posts just get ignored, so this should be ignored too. But I think part of me wants someone to see this. Wants someone to reach out. Maybe it’s a cry for help. I have no fucking clue.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone

this is an extra to the great adventures series

requested: yes/no

warnings: cursing

tommy

you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.

“do you ever talk?”

“heh?”

“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”

“do what”

“that fucking HeH.”

“are you mocking me simons?”

“noooo why would i do that...”

“it’s y/n.”

“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”

“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”

“loser.”

“the fuck did you just say?”

“nothing.”

it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:

tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check

*2 minutes later*

tommy: well?

y/n: i got accepted

tommy: me too

y/n: call me right now

tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?

y/n: absolutely not

tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be

once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.

“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”

“please god no.”

you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.

ranboo

you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’

“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”

“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”

“no.”

“fine i’ll make my own.”

and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.

you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.

“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”

“fine.”

“REALLY?!”

“absolutely not!”

“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”

you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.

you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.

Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*

ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.

“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”

“i will ban you from mcc!”

“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”

*you died*

you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.

“FUCK!”

you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.

“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”

a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’

you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.

“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”

ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.

“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”

that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.

“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”

“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”

“....why”

“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”

“you are in the uk.”

“okay? catch a flight.”

chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.

jack

you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.

“hello jack!!”

“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”

“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”

the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.

“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”

“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“it means your accent is strong, duh.”

jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.

“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”

rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.

“Y/N...TOMMY!!”

“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”

“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”

“i can’t believe you.”

“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”

“how did you know?”

“i had your stream on my other monitor.”

“ayeee you watch my streams?”

“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”

the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.

“and they’re gone again!”

*4 minutes later*

“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”

“stop leaving y/n!”

“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”

a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.

“y/n give me your phone.”

“no.”

“you lost let me tweet from your account”

“fine..”

soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification

“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”

tubbo

tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.

“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”

“when are you next coming up?”

“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”

“see you next week then!”

a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.

“uh tommy where are we going?”

“...on a train.”

“no way, really? oh my god!”

a few hours later you finally got off the train.

“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”

“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”

“right okay, meet you at the beach later”

you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.

“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”

you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.

“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”

“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”

“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”

“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”

“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”

“did you collect enough or did you want more?”

“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”

the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.

“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”

“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”

“are you sure?”

“of course!”

“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”

tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #mcyt reader insert #mcyt fluff #mcyt x platonic reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #tubbo x y/n #tubbo x you #tubbo x reader #tubbo imagine #tubbo fluff #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit fluff #tommyinnit imagine #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold x you #jack manifold x reader #jack manifold fluff #jack manifold imagine #ranboo x y/n #ranboo x you #ranboo x reader #ranboo fluff #ranboo imagine

[swtki]

Dancing Days - Edward Cullen x Reader Smut

Anonymous said: 19&24 on edward smut? love ur writing!

A/N: Thank you so much :) also I’m so happy everyone is h*rny for Eddy. I decided I want to explore more period times with Edward, changing his persona in a certain decade, but still ultimately being in the same universe as cannon. This will play into the readers character a tad bit.

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, SWEARING, S*X, VAMPIRES, ORAL SEX (MALE RECIEVING), VIRGIN! EDWARD, NON VIRGIN READER, GENDER NEUTURAL READER, MENTIONS OF WAR AND DEATH. 

19: “Fuck me like you want people to know”.

24. “Thing is, I’m a virgin”. 

_______________________________________

I brushed my hair into its usual part, making sure I looked flawless. The year was 1976, I was a senior in Highschool. It was a wonderful time to be a teenager, no longer afraid that my friends would die in Vietnam. Even in my dinky little Washington town, the culture was becoming our own. 

The Led Zeppelin record playing on my record player stopped suddenly, alerting me that I was no longer alone in my room. I turned, my expression soft as I saw my boyfriend, Edward.

“Whats up with you and this album? Everytime I come in, its always House of Th Holy on repeat.” I rolled my eyes, lifted the record in question off of the tray, and put it back snuggly in its case. 

“I can’t help it, Ed. Robert just speaks to me. I’m sure you’re like that with Louis Armstrong.” I waved my hand, walking back to my mirror to finish getting ready. 

“Maybe, but the music you listen to it’s...” Edward paused for a moment, sitting on my bed. “It’s suggestive, Y/N.” I turned to him, my eyebrow raised.

“Suggestive? What’s that supposed to mean?” I placed my hands on my hips, and waited for him to explain.

“Well, for one that one song says ‘Sipping booze’, I quite think that is blatant alcohol reference.” I looked at him, dumbfounded. Then, I started to laugh, and I walked over to him. Instinctually, he pushed his head into my chest, enjoying the comfort it brought him. 

“I love you, but god are we from two different Mars.” He chuckled, sending a rumble through my chest.

At school, I was an average kid. Fair grades, many friends, many ex friends. When Edward was paired up with me in math, I got through his cold, stone skin. At first, he was annoyed when I would fuck off, leaving him to do the work himself. Understandable, and once I realized how rude I was, I stopped. I talked to him, prodded him truthfully. I would ask him once we started dating if he had noticed me previously, because I had never noticed him. 

“Yes, I noticed that you were the only one who didn’t acknowledge me. Ironic I guess.” 

A year into our relationship, I would never let him go unnoticed. We walked the halls, hand in hand. Our outlooks were so different when it came to life. He was modest, I was free spirited. Edward was different from my boyfriends previously, I didn’t want to fuck things up, and I refused to even risk it. 

School went slowly that day, possibly because my head was focused on what I would ask Edward, my boyfriend of one year, about sex. About us and sex. 

I hadn’t told him that I wasn’t a virgin, I was worried he would only want a virgin girl, after all they can never look at you disappointed and say “I’ve had better.” A definite plus. Many a nights I tried to imagine him, moaning completely under my control. I wanted him, but I didn’t know if he wanted me. Surely in 50 years he had found a good fuck. I worried that he would be into someone else, forever tied to a vampiress. 

The end of the school day couldn’t have come sooner, my anxiety rising as I got into Edwards car, starting a long silent car ride. I tried to keep my mind off of it, an attempt to avoid the conversation until we were at my house. I kept my mind busy with the lush scenery outside of the passenger side window. 

“So... I know you want to ask me, and I know the answers to what I would ask you.” He said blatantly, putting the car in park outside my front lawn. 

“I don’t wanna talk out here Ed, lets go inside.” I swung my bag onto my shoulder. Thats the thing with Edward, I never have to say anything, just as long as I think it. 

My house was empty, making it easy for Edward to follow me upstairs to my room. I shut my door behind us, then turned to him. Unsure of what to say, I breathed in deeply.

“How long have you known that I wasn’t...you know?” He smiled, sitting on my plush navy sheets. 

“Y/N, I knew before I met you what I was getting into. Your ex had a lot of thoughts about that one night where you guys-” 

“Oh my god okay ew.” A blush rose upon my face, and I saw Edward laugh as he watched my body fill with embarassment. “Well why didn’t you say something?” I asked.

“I figured if it needed to be brought up, it would be. You and I aren’t exactly a physical couple so I didn’t worry too much.” I walked over to my bed, taking a seat next to him.

“I see...I mean it wouldn’t be a big deal for me so if you want to...” I bit my lip at him, his gaze turned to the other direction.

“Thing is, I’m a virgin.” My expression went from a seductive look, to a puzzled one. I wondered if I had heard him correctly. “I’m old school, Y/N. It wasn’t like how it is now when I was human. People didn’t just have sex in highschool, unless they were married because the man was off to war. So, it hasn’t been on the menu for me. You’re the first girl I’ve dated in fifty years, you know. And no, there was no vampiress or anything.” I smiled.

“Well, I don’t wanna scare you or push it or anything. It’s just you know-” 

“You want to touch me, to be touched by me.” his eyes trailed back to mine, looking deep into my soul.

“Yes, I want you, Edward.” I pressed my lips to his, pulling away jut as it got intense. I could feel his disappointment. “I want to...but I can’t let you down. Tomorrow night. I’ll call you and we can talk about everything we want out of it, I’ll give you a fucking fairytale, my love” I chuckled.

I called him that night as I had said I would. We talked about my first time, and everything I liked, followed by what he had seen on video, what he wanted to try, and his fears.

“I don’t want to kill you, darling.” He said.

“Then don’t. I won’t let you.” He laughed at me, enjoying my lack of seriousness.

The next night rolled along with a quick pace. I looked at the clock and saw that it was time for me to start getting ready. 

I made myself look simple, a small bit of makeup and hair product, but otherwise just a tank top and jeans. Sometimes, dating an old fashioned guy was a pain in the ass. Always complaining about suggestive behavior. But other times, my shoulders counted as being half nude.

“You look stunning, as per usual.” Edward said, stepping into my room. He was tense and barely moved. “I don’t know what to do..what usually happens with it if I’m not the one doing everything.”

If he had any blood flow, he would have been blushing right about then.

“We don’t have to do anything you know. We can just lay down and watch a movie if you want to, I just want to make you happy, Edward.” I walked over to him and put a strand of his messy auburn hair behind his ear. Without hesitation, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I want to, thats the part that’s been eating me away ever since I met you. I want to make you feel good, I just don’t know if I’ll lose it and-“ I cut him off with a kiss.

“Even if you break my pelvis into pieces, I’ll still be happy. I’m always happy when I’m with you.” we both smiled, and suddenly the thick tension that once filled the room vanished. “I’ll take care of you tonight, just as long as you’re doing it for you. I just need to know you’re doing this for you, and you need to be sure you wont roll over afterwards and hate me.” I said, my hand clasped in his marble one.

“I want you, Y/N. I have no doubts that I’ll want you afterwards, too.”

I pushed his head down, level to my own. Our kiss was deep, filled with a years worth of hunger. My hands tugged on his hair, making him whimper. Suddenly, I felt my feet lift off the ground as Edward carried me to my bed. With a soft thump, the plush sheets surrounded my body. It was a contrast of warmth on my back, and Edwards cool body on my top.

His hands were balled into fists, clutching my duvet as if his life depended on it. I pulled away, panting for air.

“Sorry, I forget you need air.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes in response.

“Well, its a shame you don’t. Because I intend on taking your breath away.” we both made small laughs at my remark.

“What now?” He looked at me for guidance.

“Get on your back.” I said.

We switched positions, he was now on the bottom. My legs straddled his torso, I sight he visably enjoyed. I slithered my hands up to his head, cupping his face as I kissed him again. My left hand left its post, reaching down to the buttons on his shirt.

I paused, looking up at him once I got to the last button.

“Does it...work like normal or...” He threw his head back and laughed.

“It doesn’t have spikes, I can assure you its just like a humans. But Emmet did tell me to pull out so...I’m kind of worried about the implications of that but-“ I leaned down to shut him up with a kiss.

His hands were still at his side, resting on the bed. I picked up his wrists, and placed them on the side of my thighs. He squeezed them lightly.

My hands roamed over his bare chest, cool to the touch. I lached my lips onto his neck, causing his back to arch below me. I could feel his excitement beneath me, it gave me a big self esteem boost. His hand reached along my waist, tugging at my shirt. His eyes lit up at the sight of my bare chest. He reached for me but I pulled away to slide down onto my knees.

He looked confused, like I had left him high and dry.

“Sit on the edge.” I said softly, my knees burning slightly due to the rough carpet underneath them.

He rid himself of the unbottoned shirt, slidding over to me once finished. My hands slowly stroked his thighs, he was desperate for some type of touch.

I smiled, tugging on his belt until it came undone. He stayed silent, looking at me like I was the only thing in the world. I unbottoned the trousers, tugging on them. He kicked them off and was left in his breifs.

“Is it okay if I..” I looked up at him and he nodded frantically. I palmed him over his underwear, feeling how hard he had gotten from kissing. My fingers latched onto the waist band, pulling them down to reveal a pale yet pink cock. It wasn’t too big, but deffinitley satisfactory. I ran my finger over the tip, earning a small groan from the vampire. My eyes trailed up to him, so I could see him when I took him in my mouth.

He let out a breathy moan, eyes focused on my mouth. His lips were parted ever so slightly. I bobbed my head, and grotesquely sexual sounds arose from my throat. I felt Edward move a strant of hair out of my face, he looked at me like I was a god.

“Fuck..Y/N if you keep doing that there wont be anything for you, dear” He said in a breathy moan. I pulled back, my mouth feeling sore and tired. “Do you still want to?” He asked, grasping his hands on my waist.

“Yes, I fucking need you.” I threw off my jeans, I would worry about finding them later, I needed him. He layed back down, propping his head up on my pillows. Our lips collided in another kiss as I leveled myself with him.

“Are you sure?” I ask him, stroking his hard member.

“I’m sure.” He pecked my lips again as I got ontop of his lean figure. I spat in my hand, lubing up my needy hole.

“How do you want me to do this? I mean like slow? What do-“ He said with genuine worry.

“Fuck me like you want people to know” I whispered, “ Fuck me like you want the entire neighborhood to know that I’m yours and yours only.”

“I can make that happen, love.” He flipped me over, now being back to where we first started. He lined up his cock with my hole, running it around the tight area. I put my fingers in his hair, making a slight tug as he pushed into my body.

Pleasure filled my body as he filled me up, his cock stretched my insides in the right ways. Without pausing, he started to push his hips into mine, making sure not to hurt me.

He reached down to suck on my neck, adding to the pornagraphic moans in the room. My hands travled to his back, scratching my nails down the cold stone like skin. His moans echoed in my ear.

“Y/N, I can’t be on top I’m going to crush you” I laughed at him, tapping his side so he fell onto the bed. I swung my legs over him, sitting on his perfect cock.

“Perfect, fucking amazing.” He said as I steady myself onto him. His face was in a euphoric expression, the most relaxed I had ever seen him.

I began to rock my hips, sliding him in and out of me. His hands grabbed onto my hips, guiding me. Everything was a euphoric experience. My gut filled with that wonderful sensation.

“Edward I’m gonna cum, oh my god” I moaned out, picking up my pace.

Suddenly, the world went still. My eyes went black and I saw stars as my orgasm washed over me. My moans echoed in the room as my body twitched. A few thrusts up into my body and Edward pulled out of me, rubbing his cum out onto his hand.

I layed there panting while he sped to the bathroom, and came back with a clean cloth, wiping down my body. He put the cloth down, pulling up his underwear and handing me mine. I slipped the fabric on, slipping under the covers.

“Get in here, I wanna kiss you”

He laughed, obeying and slipping beside me. Our lips reunited in a soft clash.

“I love you so much, dear.”

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader smut #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen smut #robert pattinson smut #robert pattinson #twilight shitpost #twilight headcanon #headcannons twilight #twilight fanfic #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale fanfic #carslile cullen #esme cullen

[chiwhorei]

green scrunchies

pairing: dom!k. ukai x sub!fem!reader

genre: smut, 18+ minors dni

word count: 4.1k

warnings: swearing, spanking, smoking, daddy kink, dom/ sub dynamics, brat taming, subspace, dirty talk, degradation, age gap(reader is 22ish and ukai is 26ish) spitting, fingering, oral (fem receiving), edging, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, a little dumification, public nudity (kinda), unprotected sex, tattoos (there’s a tattoo in a really unholy place), this is just filth okay

a/n: i have been sitting on the bulk of this piece for a fucking month and am honestly so surprised i finished it. this was inspired by a picture i saw of a really naughty tattoo and my mind want crazy and vomited on to a google doc.

hymn: nothing’s gonna hurt you baby by cigarettes after sex

“but today isn’t a day of honey-sweet ministrations.”

Ukai Keishin is a gentle man. The team of highschoolers he coaches, his friends, hell, even his mother would beg to differ. But they were not privy to the Keishin you know. The man that serenades you with Elvis Presley while cleaning up after closing the store, grabbing your waist and pulling you into a clumsy slow dance as his gravelly voice croons into your ear. 

He’s entrancing. Hypnotizing you, almost two years ago now, in the most tender pursuit possible, so softly you were unaware of falling deeply in love with him until you had already tipped completely over. Turning to an ink pen and scraps of receipt paper to flesh out the feelings he worried would not sound perfect when they hit your ears. To this day, you’re not entirely sure if he meant to leave the pages to his extemporaneous romance novel for you to find on purpose, but you have your suspicions.

You were in your second year of college when you met Keishin, only 20 years old at the time and clueless to any world outside of studying frantically from one exam to the next. Chasing after a degree you could pursue your dreams with and getting tattoos that would piss your parents off, you crashed into him, literally. 

While walking to class with practiced steps and flipping through a small stack of notecards, you frantically try to accomplish last minute cramming and making it to class promptly at the same time. With one final attempt to understand the scribbles in front of you, you take a sharp turn into a brick wall. A flurry of white papers thrown into the air and falling back down like snow.

It happened in a minute, a minute that held sixty of the longest seconds to ever pass; from the moment you smack your nose into his cemented chest to the moment he saves your head from kissing the ground below. “You need to watch where you’re going, kid.” He says with a cigarette pressed between his teeth. It all happened in that single minute, your soul escaping and crawling into his jacket pocket without even realizing. It’s been there ever since, for safekeeping, of course.

He’s perfect in every way. But just as he is soft and loving, Ukai is not one to take shit. Especially when his sweet, shy baby girl is being a raging brat. It’s like any normal fall afternoon, slightly chilly and crisp on your walk from class. The air is biting at your skin, but the temperature is not what sends a piercing shiver down your spine. You know that as soon as you get home, Ukai Keishin is going to ruin you. 

“What are you doing here, princess?” Your presence is made known with a soft ding from the bell above the door, but Ukai doesn't look up from his magazine when acknowledging you. 

“I live upstairs?” Your tone is light and playful. You decide to test the waters, wondering how much Keishin will let slide today.

“Don’t be dense, little one.” He graces you with his eye contact for the first time, “I know you have a Biology lecture on Friday afternoons. So, why is that cute little ass here instead of on campus?” His lips are pulled tightly in a thin line and he rakes his eyes down your body. You’re wearing a short pleated skirt and a baggie pull-over. Exactly what he picked out for you this morning. Well, almost exactly. He was already opening up the store by the time you woke up, so the clothes were placed neatly on his side of the bed. What he didn’t pick out though, were the stockings currently brandishing your mid thigh, cutting off the supple skin with the soft, black cotton. 

“Oh! My professor cancelled lecture today so I came home early to have lunch with my loving boyfriend.” You smile sweetly, dropping your backpack and rounding the corner of the counter he is sat at. Ukai hums softly- dismissively- and lights a cigarette, his eyes don’t give away any emotion, so you are left hanging off the end of the burning cherry. Has he caught on yet? Maybe the thigh-highs would be enough to distract from your real surprise. 

Before you can ruminate on the thought, a wide, kind smile spreads across his face. If you didn’t know any better, this smile would be comforting. Your boyfriend pats his lap, motioning for you to take a seat. You adjust yourself to fit snugly and lean into Keishin’s chest. He presses a chaste kiss to your temple and takes a drag from his cigarette. Customers trickle in slowly, and you stand a few times to ring up their purchases, always the dutiful girlfriend. Keishin watches you with adoration in between paging through a magazine, everything you did was so perfect, even if it’s just scanning a few groceries. Such a good girl you are. 

It’s not until you sit back down, and he adjusts your hips to settle back into him that he is made aware of the game you’re trying to play. And he is pissed.

“Princess, did you not like the clothes I picked out for you this morning?” He has fully caught on to you at this point, and you both know it, but he isn’t going to show you his hand quite yet. 

“Of course I did, Daddy.” You bury your burning cheek into his neck, letting the familiar smell of cologne and campfires calm your clambering heartbeat. 

“I see, then why are you wearing these…” Keishin’s voice trails off and pulls at the material of the thigh-highs, snapping it against your skin.  

“Actually,” he interrupts, “I have a more important question. But I need you to be a good girl and answer honestly.” Keishin whispers into the shell of your ear and nods a goodbye to the elderly man leaving the store. You two were alone now, the promise of other customers wandering in diminishing quickly with the time of day. 

“I’ll be a good girl Daddy.” You try to coat your words in velvet as best as you can, but Keishin scoffs, clearly unamused. 

“That’s rich, princess. Now tell me, did you go to campus this morning without panties on?” You knew the question he was going to pose, you could have even saved him the breath. You knew you were going to get caught, I mean, that is why you did it. But now, faced with having to atone for your sins, the confidence in your original actions was melting away. 

“I forgot to put panties on this morning, Daddy. I’m sorry.” You try to pout in the sweetest way possible, but Keishin knows. You’re lying through your teeth.

“Tsk, you forgot. How could you forget if I laid them right on top of your skirt this morning?” He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a damning article. As he moves the exhibit into evidence, light pink thong hanging off of fingers, you resolve that your little game was over long before you even tried to start. All you can do now is wait with baited breath and flushed cheeks for his next move. 

“Stand up princess.” Ukai grabs onto your hip bones and lifts you upward. He spins you around to face him and perches his elbows on his knees. “Show me what’s mine baby girl.” His request, his demand, rolls off the tongue like icicles. You know what he means, but still stare back dumbly, mouth wide at what he was insinuating.

“You know I don’t like repeating myself, little girl.” His words stir inside you. If he sees how wet you’re getting, you’re done for. There’s no escaping this moment though. You take a deep breath in a feeble fight against the suffocating feeling in your chest, and lift up the end of your short, black skirt so he can see you. All of you.

Your precious, sumptuous thighs now in his view. He studies the lines of the tattoos not covered with your stockings. Beautiful floral designs in delicate black ink. Keishin thinks the work you get done is always so beautiful. Every addition befitting you perfectly. He loves tracing the pads of his fingers over the art in softer moments. This moment though, was not soft, and the tattoos on your thighs were not the subject of Ukai’s attention. 

He flicks his eyes up to meet yours briefly, and trails down from your quivering bottom lip, to your delicate, freckled collarbones peering sweetly from your large sweater. He drags his darkening gaze down further, cherishing every inch until he reaches your hips. Nestled in between the apex of your thighs, in small, dainty writing lays his prize.

“My Daddy Will Kill You.”

No matter what you did, he would always be there, snugly under the second layer of skin. When his fingers weren’t intertwined in yours, when he couldn’t have a protective hand in your back pocket. Whenever he was away with his team for tournaments or just when you were in class. He was always on you.

“Such a gorgeous little cunt you have.” He leans back in his seat, watching you fidget under his stare, “Whose cunt is this, baby? Is it your classmates? Is it your professors?” You bow your head in shame at Ukai’s insinuation, you know that going to class with a bare ass and a short skirt was going to get you in trouble. How could you resist though, when the punishment always feels so good.

“You’ve been acting like a petulant brat recently. I’ve been letting things slide because I know how stressful your senior year of college has been.” His tone is exasperated, but his eyes are calm, level, dark, “I can’t ignore this, you know that right?”

“I know, Daddy.”

“Your class was cancelled. So that means we get to start the weekend early.” He pulls your hands from your skirt, letting it fall back into place and holds both of your hands in one of his much larger ones. “Go upstairs and sit on the bed. I want you in just your skirt and those cute little tights you were so keen on wearing. I’ll be up in a few minutes.” 

“But Daddy…” you really did like to test your luck sometimes, but the look he gives you, slightly shocked and more than lightly infuriated, was enough to make you hurry to the back and up the stairs to your shared apartment. You kick your sneakers off at the door and head straight to the bedroom. You pull the sweater over your head and unclasp your bra. Usually Keishin likes to do that step for you, savoring the way you shiver as he brushes the straps off of your shoulders, but today isn’t a day of honey-sweet ministrations. 

You tremble like a puppy as you wait for Ukai and almost jump out of your own skin when you hear the front door creek open. Usually you are met with a bellowing voice upon his entry, walking through the door with a hearty, “Honey, I’m home!” even if you had only walked in a few steps ahead. Now, all you can do is wait as he mulls about the apartment with lackadaisical intent and a deafening silence. After a few agonizing minutes and feeling like he made his point, Ukai finally appears in the doorway, arms folded and pressed tightly to his hard chest with a categorically sadistic smile on his face.

“So, you do know how to follow directions?” You gulp loudly and nod your head, but quickly correct yourself. If you don’t use your words you’ll make things worse for yourself. “Yes, Daddy. I know how to follow directions.” It’s not a lie, obviously you are aware of his rules, you just prefer breaking them. Your response is small compared to the loud, sarcastic laugh falling from his throat. Ukai steps towards you slowly. 

“You are such a little tease, I came up to kiss you goodbye this morning and found these still sitting on the bed.” He pulls the thong out of his pocket again and drops the lace into your lap. “You left them there because you wanted me to find them. You wanted me to know you were sitting in class with a bare cunt.” There’s no use trying to find an excuse to push past your locked jaw, because he’s not really asking a question. 

“I left them on purpose, Daddy. I’m sorry.” Your mea culpa is underwhelming to say the least, and you both know it. You may be pleading guilty to all charges, but you don’t seem eager for absolution. 

“You are such a little attention whore. My timid, darling girl has been acting like an insolent slut recently. What am I going to do with you?” His voice sounds questioning, but unmistakingly rhetorical. He’s known what he was going to do to you from the moment he spotted your panties weighing the bed down this morning.

“Turn around baby.” Ukai unbuckles his belt, and you turn away from him, tucking your legs to sit upright. He gathers your long h/c hair from where it was settled around your face and meticulously braids it to lay flat on your back, attaching the green scrunchy from his wrist to the bottom. 

Just like a calling card, Keishin always had a scrunchy of yours around his wrist. Whenever you are hunched over the kitchen table in the middle of writing a paper, he pulls your hair behind you and fastens it into a bun, careful to keep it loose so as to not invite a headache, and kisses the crown of your head. Regardless of where you are: shopping, date night, visiting him at practice, if he notices your hair becoming annoying he will slip it from your neck and twist it into the green scrunchy.

And when you are about to be punished, Ukai pulls your hair into a neat, low braid.

You feel him run his hands from your shoulders to your wrists, pulling them gently behind your back. He presses your palms together and gives them a squeeze so you know to keep them together. Ukai pulls off his shirt, and  frees his undone belt from his jeans, folding it in half and running the cool leather up your thigh. He swats softly at your skin, just enough to make you flinch. 

Ukai tosses the belt to the ground, deciding he would rather you feel the sting of his palm, and sits down next to you on the bed. You face him with your hands still laced together behind you and let him position you to lay across his lap. The side of your face and your shoulders lay flush against the bed and your ass is raised up above his jean-clad thighs. 

“You know the rules, right my love?”

“Yes, Daddy. If I lose count you have to start over.”

“There’s my smart girl. You look so beautiful like this.” He lands a smack on your right cheek, actions greatly contrasting his soft, almost taunting tone. “It’s such a shame you’ve been acting like such a whore.” 

He delivers slap after slap on your bruising ass and you count every one out to him, briefly considering what would happen if you stopped counting, but you know that your punishment is already going to be harsh enough. You’re a masochist, yes, but not an idiot. 

“Why do you always seem to be on your best behavior when I have you over my knee, darling?” Ukai connects his palm with your tender flesh again. “How many was that baby?” 

“Fifteen, Daddy.” You speak in an even tone, if your boyfriend catches on to how much more you like this than he already knows, you’re, quite literally, fucked. 

“You really know how to play me, baby. I’m always wrapped around your little finger.” He starts to knead your ass cheek with his large hand, skimming the tips of his digits against your wanton cunt. He’s testing you, wanting to see if you’ll start squirming or unclasp your hands from their position behind your back, but you hold steady.

“You leave me naughty little surprises. I had you on my mind all day, thinking about this naked little pussy walking around campus. One tiny slip and you would have shown everyone what’s mine.” Another sharp swat to your butt reverberates through the room and you can barely mumble out your counted response. 

“But that’s what you wanted isn’t it? You wanted everyone to see this slutty pussy of yours didn’t you?” Whether that was the truth or not doesn't actually matter, you know not to make an excuse. You are just meant to count and thank. 

“You need to stop squirming, princess, or you’re going to royally piss me off.” Ukai continues his relentless pace, two thick fingers pistoning deep in your dripping pussy. This was one of Ukai’s favorite games, finger-fucking you to the point of the bed under you slamming into the wall. Your job was to keep completely still. One arch of your back or escaped moan and he would land a sharp slap to your puffy, untended clit. 

He’s actually being quite generous despite the circumstances. Usually, you would be propped on your hands and knees, but Ukai has laid you flat on your back with one leg tossed over his broad shoulder. The position, while easier to keep your body still, does mean that Ukai’s piercing, hungry gaze has you pinned like prey under him. The completely pornografic sounds of his fingers are making your head spin. The fact that he’s been hammering his fingers relentlessly into your g-spot for an hour, is starting to make your mind foggy, all thoughts are starting to slip from your brain and your boyfriend can tell.

“God, baby, I love making you absolutely stupid for me. I bet all you can think about is my cock filling this little cunt up, huh?” His words are sneering, taunting. Your response is a babbled agreement and plea for his cock, and the sight of you so completely fucked out makes the bulge in his jeans strain even further. The feeling of his fingers in your squelching pussy is dulling all other senses, so when he pulls the digits away, you can’t help the cry that rips from the back of your throat. 

“Don’t worry, precious girl, I’m going to give you what you want. What you’re fucking desperate for.” Ukai pushes himself from the bed and removes his jeans and boxers, and you watch as his thick cock springs free to slap against his abdomen. The sound makes you mewl, your cunt clenching in anticipation. 

As Ukai crawls back onto your shared bed, his head dips down in between your legs. He licks, flat and languid across your slit, collecting your arousal on his tongue with a feral groan.

“Please, Daddy. Please fuck me. I- I need you. Wa- want to be your good girl.” You find your words as best as you can to beg for him, the sweet cadence of your voice and the way your weak arms reach out for his messy bleached hair signals to him that you’ve fallen completely into a foggy, submissive haze. You tug lightly at the tresses and the impressive self-control he has kept up thus far snaps like plywood under a heavy boot. 

Ukai takes one more deep, hungry lick at your soaking pussy and sits up, pushing your legs further apart, digging his nails into the soft skin under your knees. 

“Open your mouth, Princess.” You are quick to comply with his request, sticking your tongue out and looking up at him through your lashes. You hear the sound of him spitting, his saliva and your arousal coats the thickest plane of your tongue, but connecting one thought to the next becomes impossible as Ukai pushes his thick cock into you at the same time.

“Jesus Christ, no matter how much time I take to get you ready you’re still so tight. God, you make it really hard to stay mad at you.” His hands keep your legs pressed up to your chest, pushing his thick cock into you at an agonizingly lazy pace. Ukai was right, it didn’t matter that he had finger-fucked you into the mattress for an hour, taking him was a tight fit every time. As he buries himself in you, the intoxicating burn of being so full takes all of the air out of your chest. His thick cock stretches you so far, you swear he can feel your own heartbeat within the walls of your tiny cunt. He’s barely halfway into you and you can’t help but constrict, the tinny flavor of your orgasm crawling up from your spine to your mouth. 

“There’s no way I’m letting you cum already.” Ukai snickered sadistically, thumb brushing across your tattoo, the dirty secret you shared, right over where you need his fingers most. He wasn’t going to touch your deprived clit yet, and hoping for him to do so was a waste of energy. 

“I’m sorry Daddy. I promise, I’ll be good.” Your tears are rolling down the side of your face, wetting the sheet next to you. 

“You’re a pathetic mess and I’m not even all the way in you yet. I would save the tears if I were you, babydoll.” You try to compose yourself, but Ukai’s words of dismissive degradation give your whimpers more body, sobbing and babbling as his cock bottoms out. 

You can feel every inch of him, hard and thick and so so full inside of you. Ukai pulls out of you completely, his soaking tip rubbing on your labia before slamming back in to the hilt. His pace becomes brutal with every thrust, original slow pace completely unknown to you now. There’s no way you're going to be able to stand properly after this. 

“Daddy, please. Please let me cum. Need to cum, Daddy. Need to be your good girl.” A series of calls for your daddy and prayerful begs are the only things you know at this point, drool and tears covering your face.

“You know what, Princess? I bet I could make you cum with just one touch to that little clit.” Ukai takes one hand off of your thigh and hovers over where you have needed him since you woke up this morning. “If I’m right, I’ll make you cum again. If I’m wrong, you’re not gonna cum at all.”

You can feel the warmth of his finger looming over the neglected bud, the anticipation is overwhelming and cruel, but all worth it as soon as he pushes the rough pad of his thumb down. Ukai presses a single, taught circle into your clit and the coil wound tightly in your stomach snaps with incredible force. You know there is a scream that rips from your dry mouth, but you can’t hear it with the blood rushing through your ears. Ukai works you through your first orgasm, stilling his thrusts as until you come floating back down.

“I know this slutty little cunt better than the back of my hand. Now, my precious little thing,” You watch as Ukai hooks your limp legs over his shoulders, lining his throbbing cock back to your slopping entrance. “Let’s do that a couple more times.”

“Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help, falling in love with you.”

You feel your senses coming back to you slowly, with every delicate touch Keishin glides over your skin. He pulls you back to reality with sweet touches and the deep, gravely sound of his voice. After several meticulous moments and even more words of praise, Kei delivers a delicate kiss to your forehead and carries you to the shower. You take a deep, relaxed sigh as he massages your aching muscles under the hot water. After drying your exhausted body with a fluffy towel, Keishin helps you into a comfy pair of leggings and one of his sweatshirts. 

“Take my hand. Take my whole heart too.” Your boyfriend’s broad arms wrap around your waist, hands finding purchase under the orange sweatshirt currently drowning your form, and you melt into his chest. “Because I can’t help, falling in love with you.” You turn around in his arms to steal a kiss, but as your lips attach to his a small laugh bubbles up from your stomach. 

“What are you giggling at?” Keishin eyes you curiously, and you start laughing even harder.

“Oh nothing, I was just thinking about the bloody nose you gave me when we first met.” You cackle at the memory and feel Keishin take an exasperated but amused sigh, joining your laughter with his own.

“First of all, Princess, you ran into me.”

all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

#ukai smut #ukai x reader #ukai keishin x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #ukai keishin #coach ukai x reader #coach ukai #haikyuu keishin

[maxineswritingcenter]

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader

So, back in the day I wrote this story on Quotev. And it was one of my first stories that got into the popular section and I am really proud of it. The only problem is.... It was written in 2013, uber cringe-ville. If you wanna try to find it, be my guest but be warned: the main character is an OC, she has “I’m NoT lIkE oThEr GiRlS” syndrome and there are some weird ass love lines added in. So, I am reviving and rebranding that story so it may live a better life, like witness protection. Anyway, hope you enjoy

* I wrote it in first person just because I thought it would be easier to read

(Y/N)’s family is killed in a fire that seems to plague Beacon Hills, moving in with the Stilinski’s was bound to cause hijinks, but what happens when she gets involved with the the illusive Derek Hale?

TW: Kidnapping, some violence

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At first glance Beacon Hills seems like the perfect community. It wasn’t until later that I would realize that everything I ever knew was a lie. 

~

I slowly slipped out of the front door and locked it behind me. Sneaking out wasn’t my usual schtick, but it was the last day of summer and for the first time I was going to live a little before starting to work at the Highschool as a volunteer coach for the lacrosse team. It was my first time ever sneaking out and just the idea of it made my heart pound, but the anxiety turned to adrenaline as I made my way out without either of my parents noticing. They were both incredibly heavy sleepers, there could be a parade outside their door and they wouldn’t wake up. 

The party would mostly consist of most of the men’s and women’s lacrosse teams, and what would a lacrosse party be like without the team captain?

Walking down the sidewalk, I thought more about college. UCLA was a choice, or a community college too. Most kids would have gone straight after graduation, but I decided a year off would be good for me to de-stress. But honestly, I was just more afraid of the change. That and leaving my best friend, Stiles, behind was a little hard to fathom. We had known each other our whole lives. Another thing was…would he be okay? After losing his mom… who knows. But then there was also Michael. Michael was my boyfriend, and I loved being with him for the last four years. He really hadn’t mentioned plans for college, just working in the family business. What the family business was, I never knew. 

About a block down the road is when I heard the howl. My instincts first go to fear, wolf in the darkness. But then logic comes in, there had not been wolves in California for decades. It was probably the neighbors husky. 

The autumn chill had no mercy, whipping my hair into my eyes, I stopped on the corner of Fifth and Main, pulling my jacket closer and waited for the wind to pass. When it did, the figure in front of me made me gasp. But the shock subsided soon after. 

“Mikey,” I sighed in relief, “Why’d ya sneak up on me like that? Almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing out here?”

“Waiting for you.” He smiled. Ominous certainly, but this was probably just another one of his pranks. 

“I guess so, I thought you said you weren’t going to the party.” 

“We’re not.” That’s when a chill ran up my spine. Something wasn’t right, he wasn’t acting like himself. His goofy smile was gone and replaced by a dark looming presence that I wasn’t comfortable with. It was like he was a completely different person. I took a slow step back. 

“Come on, this isn’t funny.” He said nothing, only matching my step going forward. 

“Michael.” With every step I took back, he took one forward, matching my increasing pace. With no other choice in mind, I chose to run. But as my back was turned, he grabbed me by my middle with one arm and pressed a cloth to my mouth with the other. Without thinking, I breathed in, the chemicals in the cloth slowly numbing my senses and my body. I tried to fight the darkness entering my vision, but it was no use. I was done to my knees, Michael right behind me. 

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” Were the last words I heard before the darkness took over. 

~

“Sweetie, time to get up.” My mother’s voice rang in my ears. 

“C’mon mom five more minutes…” I grumbled. 

“(Y/N), you need to wake up.” Her voice is more urgent. I finally opened my eyes, seeing my mother, her body engulfed in flames. 

“Wake up!” 

My body jerked as I woke up, leading to soreness in my arms and legs as a few things became clear: 

1. I was tied to a chair, and 

2. I didn’t know where I was. 

The events from last night slowly started coming back and nothing made any sense. Michael had never been controlling or abusive. Was I so blinded by the relationship that I hadn’t seen the signs? No, there were no signs. As far as I knew, Michael had no history of mental illness so something like dissociative identity disorder didn’t make sense and it wouldn’t explain the behavior either. 

There was a bandana tied around my head, keeping me from any sort of speech. From the layout of the place, it looked like an apartment Michael had, but everything was different. There was a tack board hanging in the living room with so many pictures of myself and my parents, shots that looked like they were taken without us knowing. There were scrawlings but they were too scribble-like to make out. 

The door opening brought my head to look towards the source. Michael walked in, shoving his phone into his back pocket. 

“Well good afternoon, sleepy head.” He closed the door behind him and made his way over to the chair I was bound to. 

“Alright, I’m gonna take the gag out but you can’t scream.” He smiled. 

I nodded along. With one hand, he pulled the gag from my mouth. 

“HELP! HELP ME!” I cried, hoping one of his neighbors would hear and call the police. 

“Shut up!” He slapped me across the face, the stinging pain only added to my screaming for help. 

“I said shut up!” He pulled a knife from his pocket, pressing the tip of the blade against my cheek. This new threat silences me, leaving me breathing heavily through my nose, tears making their way down my cheeks. 

“See, was that so hard?” He stood up and made his way across the room to the box TV on his floor, “I’m sorry for the mess, but with all my planning I hadn’t had a chance. I’ve been planning a big surprise and it’s finally done.” I didn’t speak, only continued to watch his movements. 

“I figure, even if you didn’t listen, you can still have your surprise.” He pressed the round power button on the screen and it fizzled to life. 

“-the same arsonist on the loose? Coming back to breaking news, the second house fire in six years occurred in the early morning today. Firefighters were called out to the residence of (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) where their home had gone up in flames.” There was footage of my home up in flames, streams of water coming from the firemen below. “ Both (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) were found dead, seemingly from being crushed by a falling support beam in their basement. Their daughter, (Y/N), has not been found and is considered missing. If you have any information on her please call Beacon Hills police.” My photo came up on the screen. 

My heart sunk into my stomach and my throat ached to scream and sob. Michael turned off the TV then and looked down at me. 

“I’m surprised they found the bodies with how hot it was.” He said nonchalantly.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered. My parents were the nicest people in the world and treated Michael like he was a part of the family, why would he do this?  

”Don’t worry, (Y/N/N). It’s all a part of the plan.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“I’m gonna head to bed, been out all night. I’ll see you in a couple hours.” He made his way to her bedroom and closed the door behind him. 

Finally, I completely broke down. Silent cries poured out. My parents were just gone in a puff of smoke. And all at the hands of someone we trusted. Someone that I trusted more than anything. 

After the grief quickly came anger. I don’t know how or when, but I am getting the hell out of here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read part 2 here!

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#teen wolf fic #derek hale #derek hale x reader #maxineswritingcenter

[mtfstuff]

My friend John's body

I'm straight. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. It was a hard time for me but my best friend John was at my side. We know each other since Kindergarten but since highschool something changed. I always felt better when he was near me. He was this good looking, muscular womanizer and I was the skinny guy. He always dressed nice: tight shirts, leather jacket and boots and so on. Something about it turned me on and he sometimes felt it. He joked about it, sometimes he jokingly said if I want to sniff him. Of course I said no as I'm straight but that moment never left my mind.

Now that I was in a bad mood because of my break up he came over to cheer me up but I had different plans.

I opened the door after he knocked and let him in. Closing the door behind him, I grabbed the rag with chloroform from my back pocket and pushed it from behind onto his face. Totally shocked, he tried to push me away from him but I clinged onto him like a used gum to the sole of a boot. He went on his knees which caused his leather boots to creak.

I started to feel that he got weaker until he passed out. I didnt remove the rag for quiet some minutes to make sure that he really is unconscious. I pulled his limb body onto my bed and tied him up.

I never saw him sleeping so this was a new experience too. He looked so handsome passed out.

Even though I was able to grow a good beard I always were skinny and with that a bit jealous of my best friend John. I now knew the feelings I had when he was near me. I always wanted to be like him. Tall, muscular, good looking. I wanted to strip him and put on his clothes and he should be able to see every single step of it. Of course I dont want to loose him as a friend after this so I already bought a bottle of forgetful potion for him when I finished.

I waited for him to be awake again to start with my plan.

"Dennis! What did you do to me?", John shouted after he noticed that I tied him up on my bed.

"I thought you wanted to cheer me up Jonathan.", I answered. I saw in his eyes that he was scared, I never called him by his full name before.

I continued:"I want to feel good again. I love the way you look Jonathan! I'll strip every single cloth off of you and I'll put it on myself, starting with your boots. After that I want to have some fun with you..."

I looked at him with dead eyes as he tried to free himself, but he had no luck. When he looked back at me I saw the fear and sadness in his eyes.

I came closer to him and started to stroke his leg while I opened the first lace of his boots. I pulled them of his feet, closed my eyes and started to sniff them. The smell of sweat and warm leather turned me on. I noticed how my dick raised.

When I opened my eyes again I saw that John's bulge has grown too.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who likes this.", I commented while staring at his bulge.

He growled back and I saw a tear run from his left eye.

I turned back to his clothes pulling each wool sock from his feet. I knew that he was ticklish so I ran my fingers down the sole of his foot.

His body cramped and moved uncontrollably because he wanted to suppress his laughter. Satisfied with his feet, I began to undo his belt. He tried to fight back but he was without a chance. I pulled down his jeans to reveal that he wore a jockstrap. I let out a quiet laugh, I never thought he would wear something like this. I pulled it down too to reveal his massive cock. Satisfied with what I get to play with later I started to get into his clothes. I undressed completely and started to get into his jockstrap. It was to large for me so I had to hold it up until i put on his jeans and closed the belt. It felt So good to wear it I could smell his parfume and sweat, I was so turned on. I put on his thick wool socks he wore in his boots. They were cold as they were drenched in his sweat. I let out an uncontrolled moan and smiled at him.

"Looks like your feet were really hot in there.", I said to him, lying on my bed, his lower half completely undressed and his cock standing at a right angle to his body.

His eyebrows drew together in an angry look. "I'll kill you as soon as I'm free!", John shouted. I belittled his words as I was so hyped to get into his boots!

They stood in front of me and as I grabbed the first one I felt my heart beating faster synched with my cock. I knew I'd cum as soon as I put them on and it was an honor for me to do it into John's jockstrap. After I put on his first boot I felt something weird in my body. My blood felt warmer and I thought I grew a little bit. I dismissed it as an illusion and grabbed his second boot. As soon as I put it on I felt the same again. I looked at John and he was shocked as if he had seen a ghost. I looked down at myself and I couldn't believe what I saw. It was John's body. Everything was there from his muscles to his veins and I lost my chest hair. I ran to a mirror to take a selfie. I had to save this moment for myself.

When I came back to John it looked like he has made peace with the situtation he was in. I knocked him out again to strip him of his beautiful black leather jacket and his grey v-neck tshirt that defined his muscles.

I played with my new body until John was awake again so he could continue to put on the last parts of his clothes. I felt so good, strong and masculin now, I didnt want to change back to my old appearence.

"I think I'll stay in your clothes for some days John. Dont you see how good it fits me?", I said to him.

I crawled onto the bed kneeling now over him. I ran my, no, his fingers down his muscular body and stopped when they reached his hairy ballsack and huge cock.

"Let us see if you're really straight John...", I said while starting to stroke his dick. It got even harder than it was before and he started to get an orgasm and almost cum. It was so pleasing to be in this body, to have this clothes on to see that your love of your life is almost cumming while you stroke his dick.

I put his dick into my mouth. It was warm and pulsated in a rythm. I somehow knew I had to get him to cum into my mouth to get to my orgasm too. I played on his dick with my tongue and I started to suck really hard. John moaned and shot his first big load right into my throat. I felt how he started to climax and I sucked even harder as he shot his second load into my mouth. I started to notice that his cock started to feel smaller in my mouth. I looked at John and saw that his muscles started to deflate and that chesthair started to grow on him. When I saw his face I was shocked. I looked into my old face. I continued to suck until his dick was dry.

When I stood up in front of my bed I couldnt believe it. John took the appearence of my old body. He looked dazed.

"John?! Is everything okay?", I asked him.

He looked at me and answered:"Johnathan, why are you calling me by your name. You know I'm Dennis."

I was so happy. I freed him and ran to the bath. I took of the boots and to my surprise I didnt change back into my old body so I put them back on.

John, I mean now Dennis, stood in front of me as I opened the door again.

"Is everything okay John? You look as if you've seen a ghost.", he said.

"Everything is fine. I have to go now.", I mumbled.

I grabbed John's, now my, car keys, said goodbye to Dennis and left his house.

That was three months ago. Dennis is now back together with his ex girlfriend, the reason for all of this.  I'm happy to be in this body and I dont want to switch back. I think I'm doing it more justice than the old John. I know have an incredible leather jacket and boot collection I can cum off of.

Dennis and I are still best friends as he doesn't remeber what happened on that day and I'll never tell him.

#body swap #body switch #male possession #male body swap #male body switch #nerd to jock

[bakugouisabitch]

nono, i care about your very specific highschool au. rant about it please.

dgslsjs omg youu 🥺

well if you insist.... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

okay, i once had a discord group which i miss sm rip where i shared some ideas from that AU so i’m basically gonna repeat them here now shsjs under the read more 👇

this AU includes both Maliks as siblings (+ Isis and Rishid ofc) and both Bakuras as siblings too. The two Yamis are the elder brothers of the non-Yamis so they also have their own name ofc. 

For Yami Malik I’d go with Amir cause the name is beautiful and fits him somehow (it means ‘prince’ or ‘chief’). This AU is literally so self-indulgent where I can finally write Amir just how I picture him in my head as the funny himbo he is, who makes some creepy jokes at times but is generally a nice guy and is just constantly stoned sdfgskh

For Yami Bakura i haven’t thought of a name yet 🙃 He’s low key the protag and I still don’t have a name for him 👏 good work, Ziggy 👏 I was thinking about something that makes his initials still be YB so a name with Y actually (Yamato maybe ?) Everyone calls him Bakura/Bakura-kun anway and they mostly call Ryou “the little Bakura”/Bakura-chan (affectionately) since he is the little brother ahsksfsj

In this AU Amir and YB are like really close friends. They are classmates in their last year together and they are known for being trouble makers. But not just like Honda and Jounouchi in the anime - they are worse than that. They have risked being expelled many times and smoke on the school’s rooftops and even hang out with older guys who sell illegal shit and such (it’d be tw for drugs ofc). OH and lots of spray painting on public places 👊 They are really best buds and bonded over same interests and music taste and same hate for the society and family and such. This fanart was a major inspiration to write these two as high school best buddies.

Also, I did a quick redraw of the typical anime boys sleeping in the classroom pose with these two. That’s them:

 (might finish it one day and post it seperately idk my motivation is swinging lately 🤷)

All their “criminal” behaviour ofc stems from a sad background/past because i’m just a sucker for angst and i keep making my boys suffer 😔 i’m sorry. Every guy in this AU has daddy issues or just family issues in general

YB is VERY overprotective over his little brother Ryou (who’s just two years younger than him, and just like Malik, starts his first high school year in Domino High School). He is literally responsible for raising him up because ever since they lost their mother and Amane (Ryou’s twin sister) at a very young age their father fell into a very deep depression and he’s constantly away “for work” and just generally neglects his two remaining sons. YB hates their father because of that so he has taken it as his own responsibility to make sure Ryou is always safe and protected and acts like the parent in their home (where there is usually just the two of them). Also, another self indulgent thing here: YB being an ass with everyone except for being an overprotective good big brother for Ryou 🥺 please! so cute!! (They ride a bike together on their way to school like this fanart)

The Ishtar’s parents are both dead. Their mother died when giving birth to the youngest one (Malik) and their father died under very tragic circumstances (still gotta think how 🤔 it definitely wasn’t Amir tho’) and they used to have a very abusive household thus why Amir HATES their dad. Contrary to Malik, who keeps saying he deserved a second chance and was a good father and wishes he could have made him proud ~ this always makes Amir and Malik fight amongst other things and this is what also bonds Amir and YB so much: the hate for their old man.

It would be a very psychological AU that deals with a lot of issues and shit and traumas the boys have to live with + adding all the typical teenage angst at that age so it’s CHAOS. and I’d also have the perfect soundtrack/playlist for it 💆‍♀️ (it would be set in the 90s)

Ofc it’d be bakumali because I can’t help myself (and maybe also Ryou x Amir as a side pairing 👀)

Since it’s Malik’s first year in domino high school he wants to be recognised as one of the “cool kids” and befriend the older boys from the class. he just hates it that his big brother (Amir) is always there as well. Compared to the Bakuras these two have much more of a turbulent kind of relationship going on as siblings, where they constantly fight and Amir says Malik “ruined” the family whenever their fights get harsher and Malik says father never loved him anyway. Isis and Rishid try to keep the family and the boys under control as young adults but it’s hard 😔

YB visits the Ishtars sometimes to hang out with Amir in his room where they listen to music, smoke weed, and play PS and such and this is when Malik “spies” on YB. he thinks his big brother’s friend looks so cool with his ripped jeans and eyeliner and black nail polish. One night YB and Amir are smoking weed in Amir’s room and playing PS when Malik would use the chance. He’d piss Amir off and tell him it’s his turn to take the trash out on purpose to make him leave his room. Ofc Amir says no but then Malik “threatens” him with “I will tell sister you smoke weed if you don’t take the trash out”. And so Amir leaves (slamming the door behind him like an unruly teenager and saying he’s gonna kill Malik) and leaves a stoned YB alone in his room. And this is when Malik uses the chance to be alone with a very confused and very stoned YB who wonders why Amir’s little brother seems to be so interested in him sdfghjkl and yea this is basically their first encounter.

Malik has basically a kind of obvious “fangirl crush” for YB but the latter is so confused why and what he even sees in him. Because for him there’s nothing “cool” in skipping school and breaking the rules, it’s just the only thing he knows. But for Malik this is the coolest shit he’s ever seen.

this little sketch i made kinda shows my idea for their relationship in this AU better sdfghjk:

Malik befriends Ryou (who is in his same class and school year) out of convenience ofc cause he wants to get closer to YB. Yes Malik is a lil bitch in this AU. And Ryou is like extremely nice and polite, he’s the weird silent kid who doesn’t have a lot of friends and lives in his own world. He falls victim to bullies a lot and YB also keeps that rough facade to make sure no one messes with him. Ryou befriends Malik and tries to answer all of the weird, intimate questions he has of his big brother...

One night I, like, imagined a scenario where Amir and YB are out spray-painting a wall behind the station with some other thugs and Malik and Ryou followed them secretly (it was all Malik’s plan) even if Ryou was totally contrary to the idea. Once they see the guys have drugs and alcohol Ryou wants to leave, but Malik says this is exactly what makes it exciting and joins them without warning. When Amir and YB see Malik they panic, wondering what he is doing here. Amir gets particularly pissed off and wants to just leave. ofc YB tells him he can’t just leave his young brother alone in a place like this with people like that. But Amir ignores him (and this will lead to one of the first big fights between the two best buddies 😔 they will punch each other. I told you it will have a lot of angst)

Anyway at the end Amir leaves and YB is decent enough to bring both Ryou and Malik home but then Malik insits on wanting to crash at their place. So YB is like “i guess??” And they spend the night together at the Bakura’s place :) YB takes the couch and leaves his bed for Malik to sleep in but Malik will have none of that ofc sgksksj

Okay sorry for boring you, I could go on forever with so many scenarios of this AU or like actually sit down and write it... and yea.. that’s it.... just angsty and misunderstood boys in a shitty society with shitty parents trying to find a sense with their lives 🥺

#yami bakura #yami malik #malik ishtar #yami marik #marik ishtar #bakura #ryou bakura #thiefshipping #malik #marik #bakumali #yugioh #ygo fanart #ygo au #ygo #ask #icouldbesus #my art #ygo high school au #ziggy talks #* #idk what to tag this #welp #i might write it if smn cares #or make a dj out of it would be cool

[suckerfordylansstuff]

New Journey (S.H.) Chapter 6 Season 3

 Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader!henderson

Summary: After Y/N graduated Highschool and was ready for the next steps in life, she definetely wasn’t ready to be dragged into more messy situations.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood

Notes: Hello! Happy holidays! I hope you make out the best of it since we are not really able to spend these days the way we actually wanted. Just remember that things do get better. This chapter has more action and we are getting into the interesting stuff. Enjoy! 💕

Gif not mine

Chapter 5 << New Journey Masterlist >> Chapter 7

“ This is code red, I repeat, a code red.” you heard Dustin say once again for the hundredth time.

“ If he says it one more time I will kill myself.” Erica spoke up and you snickered.

“ Not after we kill him first.” Robin joined in as Dustin continued saying his little speech on his walkie talkie. It seemed like a good idea at first. To see if we could find anyone from the rest of the kids or maybe Hopper, but after one hour of Dustin talking to himself on the roof of the elevator it was just becoming annoying.

“ Hey, relax.” you said and giggled at their ‘seriousness’ for their plan. You turned to look at Steve who was leaning in one of the boxes a couple feet away from you “Can you go talk to him? He will kill the battery if he continues like this.”

“ Yeah, of course.” he said and headed for the madeshift staircase “ You okay, right?” he nodded towards your arm. When you woke up from your one hour nap, since both of you weren’t exactly able to sleep, you got up and you immediately felt dizzy. Maybe it was from the blood, but you found it unlikely since you didn’t bleed that much, or maybe it was from the stress and the small space you were in. Either way, Steve freaked out when you almost fell and from then on kept asking you how you were. For the rest it was very annoying, but you took comfort in knowing that he was concerned.

“ Yes, Steve. Now go talk some sense into my brother.” you smiled at him and up he went. You let your eyes linger a little more than they should after he dissapeared on the roof and Robin noticed.

“ So..” she said and you turned your head quickly to face her, a mischievious smirk on her face “You and Steve seem fairly close after a long time.”

“ Robin, don’t.” you said and turned towards the metallic door and let your back lean on it.

“ I didn’t say anything.” she defended herself.

“ You know what you said. My main priority is finding a way to get out of here, not to solve my problems with Steve.” you whispered the last part not wanting any word to reach Steve’s ears, even after the night you two had.

“ From the moment my brother told me the news I knew it was stupid. You too are the perfect morons for one another.” Erica said not missing a chance to insult you.

“ Thank you, little child.” Robin said and Erica frowned, but she ignored it “You are the idiot to his stupid.”

“ How nice.” you faked a smile and closed your eyes to try and calm your nerves. You loved Robin, even in the short time you knew her, but sometimes her always being right was obnoxious. Same with Erica.

But who knew when the two girls were commenting about your stupid decisions with your relationship with Steve, the same thing was happening with his conversation with Dustin.

“ Hey!” Steve said the moment he saw Dustin on the top of the elevator “Take it easy on that thing. Gonna drain the battery.” he pointed on the walkie talkie, but he hadn’t fully stepped on the roof, still standing on the ‘ladder’.

“ The mall just opened.” Dustin said, after facing him, like it was obvious.

“ So?”

“ So someone could be in range.”

“ What do you think, Petey the Mall Cop is gonna rappel down here and save the day?” Steve said sarcastically and walked up towards him.

“ All right, why are you such a cranky pants, after getting to spend the night with Y/n?” Dustin smirk, but Steve tried to cover his blush by rolling his eyes.

“ You were awake?” Steve asked, looking everywhere but to him.

“ I woke up by your giggles. Like, I know you still like her, but get a room, I’m her brother.” Dustin said with a smirk and Steve immediatelly shushed him, not wanting you hearing any of this.

“ Would you shut up? And you are the one making an innocent conversation into something more. I was just trying to make her feel safer and maybe try to find a way to get out, but had no success there.. Robin doesn’t have a clue what to do either, Erica hasn’t stopped pulling on our nerves and you have been wasting your time on that thing.. We honestly have no idea what to do, so, you know, probably that’s the reason why I’m feeling just.. a tad cranky.” Steve walked towards one of the walls, his back facing Dustin, and said the last sentence as he unzipped his pants.

“ What are you doing?” Dustin asked his eyes widdening at the realisation.

“ What does it look like I’m doing? I’m taking a leak. Look away. Look away!” Steve yelled when he turned and saw him staring. Not five seconds later he started peeing, the sound making your eyes shot open, as you searched for the source of the oddly familiar sound.

Robin, who was next to you looking once again at the buttons, followed your gaze and landed on the pee that was falling on the wall. You looked at her and painfully rolled your eyes mumbling all the things that were wrong with the two boys up there, despite loving them to death.

“ Can you redirect your stream, please?” Robin said loudly her voice full of sarcasm as usual. You looked over at the wall again and saw the stream taking a turn that made both of you grimace.

“ He’s so stupid.” you rubbed your temple, as you tried to compress your laughter, since everything seemed a little bit funny to you after the sleepless night.

“ Yeah, but your problem.” Robin nudged you and you let out a snort, before a banging sound interrupted you. Both of your heads turned to see Erica banging the tube with the weird, green liquid and trying to crack it open.

“ Woah!” you said and rushed to grab it from her, Robin following.

“ Hey! We don’t even know what that is.” she said looking down at Erica.

“ Exactly, it could be useful.” Erica said and you tried your best to not lose your shit right now.

“ Or extremely dangerous?” you proposed the idea, the only idea that should be in all of your heads.

“ Hey! We can survive down here a long time without food, but if the human body doesn’t get water, it will die.” 

“ Don’t tell me my own facts, I taught you that.” you raised an eyebrow at her.

“ Which just proves my point further on it being true.” she crossed her arms on her chest and you sighed.

“ I hate to break it to you, but this..” Robin grabbed the tube from your hand, before continuing speaking “Is not water!”

“ No, but it’s liquid and if it comes down to me drinking that shit or dying of thirst, I’ll drink.” Erica smiled and tried to take it from Robin’s hand. You wanted to step in and stop their fighting, but something caught your attention. A sound was coming from the outside of the elevator. You quickly walked towards the door and put your ear on it. Yep, there was definetely a noise coming from outhere.

You turn around to look at Robin and Erica, Robin’s eyes already on you, like she had heard the same sound as you.

“ Someone’s out there.” you said quickly, panic drawn on your whole face.

“ Shit!” Robin said, before yaking the tube out of Erica’s hands and passing in to you. Erica was ready to argue before she heard the sound too. She looked at you and for the first time you saw raw fear on her face. You pulled her close to you and walked over to where Robin had climbed to talk to the boys.

“ We’ve got company.”

Steve’s eyes widened at Robin’s words and Dustin cursed.

“ Uh.. okay. Everyone climb up here. All of you quickly!” Steve told you and Robin climbed up first. Then you helped Erica get on the boxes and even though she claimed she didn’t need any help, she didn’t hesitate to take Steve’s arm to pull her up. He got her on the roof safely and it was now your turn. Your adrenaline was on the roof when you heard your brother tell Steve to help you. He gave you his hand and after you climbed on the boxes you held it with your good hand just so you wouldn’t lose your balance.

You made it to the top and Robin coverned the little door you had made so you wouldn’t draw any suspicion as to whether or not someone was up here. You were crouching down next to Dustin and Erica, opposite of Steve and Robin. As Steve was leaning down on the blured glass to try and see what was happening, the rest of you were trying your best to not make a sound as you heard the door open. You held your breath.

You could hear footsteps, but couldn’t make out how many people were down there. All of a sudden two men started talking in a language that you could only guess was Russian and one look towards Robin silently asking her what language it was, she confirmed your thoughts.

Steve motioned you all to keep quiet. His eyes left yours and landed on the tube in your hands. You looked down at it and furrowed your brows.

‘What was he thinking?’

The moment you heard the men leave and the elevator door start closing, your plan took action. Steve jumped down and slid to place the tube between the door and the floor so it would hold it still.

“Let’s go.” he told you and first to come down was the youngest.

Erica threw her packbag to Steve and he slid it over the door. He watched her jumb down to and repeated her to get going “GO. Go, go, go, go, go.”

“ I’m going!” Erica grunted and finally made it on the other side.

Next was Dustin as Steve called out for him to get out too. Not long after Dustin you and Robin jumbed as well and waited as patiently as you could for your brother to move out of the way.

When he made it with a roll outside, Robin for out too as quickly as she could.

“ Y/n, come on.” Steve told you, when he heard the glass of the tube was starting to crack. You got down on the floor next to him and followed your brother’s technic, you rolled throught the gab. You made it out and turned to see Steve barely making it out himself, Robin calling after him, before the tube crashed from the weight of the metallic door, the weird green liquid burning the ground.

“ Wow!” you exclaimed and got on your feet, backing away, dragging Dustin with you and the rest quickly followed.

“ Jesus Christ.” Steve said and after the shock you leaned in to take a better look.

“ You still wanna drink that?” Robin said to Erica and you waited fot a sarcastic remark from her, but someone got your attention.

“ Y/n..” Dustin nudged you softly and you let out a long exhale as you turned to see what he was looking at.

“ Oh boy..” you said and you shut your eyes closed, wishing it was all just a weird nightmare, but the other’s reactions made it clear it wasn’t. Ahead of you was the longest corridor you had ever seen and you legs were already aching at the sight of it.

“ Well.. Hope you guys are in good shape. Looking at you, roast beef.” Steve sighed and patted Dustin on the chest. He started walking ahead of you and Dustin looked at you as if he was asking why had Steve just inslulted him.

“ Let’s go, come on.” Steve said again and you nodded towards him, after putting you hand on Dustin’s back to get him to start walking.

“ Why me?” he asked you, genuinely hurt.

“ Well.. camp did treat you a little too well, Dusty.” you smirked, obviously just messing with him, but Steve’s chuckle at your words didn’t help with his hurt expression “But don’t worry, we’ll all get into better shape with all the running we’re definetely gonna do down here.”

And you weren’t wrong.

___

You have no idea how long you were walking, but after Dustin had started to geek about the design of this place, your mind had dazed off.

“ I mean, you have to admit, as a feat of engineering alone, this is impressive.” Dustin’s voice echoed through the walls.

“ What are you talking about? It’s a total fire hazard. There’s no stairs, there’s no exit, there’s just an elevator that drops you halfway to hell.” Steve said from your left, he was walking on the farthest left and you were on the fartherst right, kind of protecting the ones in the middle.

“ Highway to hell..” you started humming one of your favourite ac/dc songs, but the moment all heads turned to look at you, you apologized and gazed down, missing the fond look on Steve’s face. He knew his words would remind you of the song and despite any circumstance, music always relaxed you.

“ Yeah.. They’re Commies. You don’t pay people, they cut corners.” Erica said and Steve wondered what in the name of God does that kid do at her spare time.

“ To be fair to our Russian comrades, I don’t think this tunnel was designed for walking.” Robin chimed in the conversation.

“ Only to torture us..” you sighed and without thinking started scratching the dried blood on your left hand.

“ Just think about it.” Robin said after you “They developed the perfect system for transporting that cargo.”

“ It all comes into the mall like any old delivery.” Dustin stated and Robin continued.

“ And then they load it up onto those trucks and nobody’s the wiser.”

“ You think they built this whole mall just so they could transport that green poison?”

“ You saw what it does.. God knows what they are using it for.” you turned to look at him with concered eyes.

“ It has to be more that just a boring poison, it’s gotta be much more valuable, like promethium or something.” Dustin said shortly looking at you.

“ What the hell is promethium?” Steve asked like he was scared of the name alone.

“ It’s a chemical element, who’s isotopes are radioactive. Extremely rare.” you said. You had learned that one night with Dustin on your usual siblings night. You started this new tradition on your last six months here before you were due to leave for colleage just so you could spend more time together. 

Since you both had an interest in weird stuff like that and your nights were focused around ‘cool’ facts, Steve had decided that he would give you those nights for only you and your brother, given the fact he wouldn’t understand shit. But because he usually missed you at night he would come knocking on your window at twelve o’clock in the night sharp, just so he could talk to you or if you were in the mood something more than just kissing. You missed those nights ever since Dustin had left for camp and you and Steve had broken up. You just wished you’d see the light of day again to fix everything and have one more evening like that, with your two favourite boys.

“ To make it easier for your little brain.” Robin stated as Steve rolled his eyes “It’s what Victor Stone’s dad used to make Cyborg’s bionic and cybernetic components.”

“ You’re all so nerdy, it makes me physically ill.” Erica gagged to emphasize her point.

“ No, no, no. No, don’t lump me in with them. I’m not a nerd, all right?” Steve protested and you rolled your eyes.

“ Did she insult your pride, Steve?” you teased, because you knew for a fact he was into the whole nerdy stuff. He loved hearing you and Dustin go on and on about things you found interesting, even if he wouldn’t understand them, but you used to love to try and make it as clear as you could for him and took a certain pride when he would actually get it. So it was weird that now he was trying to seem better than you for Erica of all people.

“ Afraid of losing cool points to a ten-year-old child?” Robin joined in and you shared a look of amusement.

“ No, I’m just saying I don’t know jack shit about Prometheus.” he said back, before Dustin interrupted him.

“ Promethium.”

“ Prometheus is, actually, a Greek mythological figure, who stole the fire from the Gods to give it as a gift to the humans so they could form a civilazation.” and for the second time in less than five minutes all eyes were once again on you “What? My summer so far was boring, I had to do something.” you defended yourself and at the end stole a glance on Steve.

‘ It wouldn’t have been boring, if you weren’t such an idiot’ you thought, but quickly shook that thought out of your head.

“ Interesting. Anyway, all we are saying is that it’s probably used to make something.”

“ Or power something.” Robin added on Dustin’s words.

“ Like a nuclead weapon?” Dustin suggested and the idea sent shivers up your spine.

“ Totally.” Robin said, a little too excited for your taste.

“ Walking towards a nuclear weapon. That’s great. That’d be great.” Steve expressed his anxious thoughts with humor.

“ But if they’re building something, why here? I mean, Hawkins. Seriously? Of all places? At the very best, we’re a toilet stop on your way to Disneyland, but maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s our very..” Robin continued saying her thoughts outloud, but your head just stopped listening the moment she said ‘why here?’. She thinks this is an ordinary place, but you knew better. So did the boys in the group. And your knowledge made you freeze on the spot, looking at one another, the same thought on your minds.

“ I knew this was a bad idea..” you took a deep breath, trying to sort out your fellings at the moment.

“ You think the Russians know?” Dustin asked you both.

“ About the um..” Steve didn’t finish he’s sentence, but he didn’t have to. You knew what he was referring to.

“ I mean probably.. It makes sense.” you said in a huffed voice, not wanting the girls ahead of you to hear.

“ So it’s connected?” Steve looked at you for answers, but you could only shrug your shoulders.

“ Maybe.” Dustin answered for you.

“ How?”

“ I don’t know, but it’s..” Dustin said to Steve, before all three of you said in unison “Possible.”

You didn’t like the sound of that, but Robin was right. Why would Russian spies come to the most boring place of all? Maybe because they know the one thing that makes it interesting and the one thing that still controls your nightmares.

“ I’m sorry, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Robin said annoyed with you three whispering to each other.

“ You really don’t want to-” you started talking, but the static coming from Dustin walkie talkie interrupted you. A man started speaking Russian and your full attention was on that.

“ Walkie.” you said together with the boys and you quickly made your way towards Robin and Erica, the latter already opening her bag to take it out and handing it to Robin. She listened carefully and started saying the words with the man on the radio. 

“ It’s the code.” Robin said.

“ Wherever that broadcast is coming from-” Dustin said.

“ It’s close.” you confirmed his thought.

“ And if there’s one thing we know about that signal..” Robin stated for the rest of you to finish.

“ It can reach the surface.” Dustin said, the lightest of smirks on his face.

“ Let’s go.” you said and got up, you curiosity taking over.

___

You finally made your way to where the rest of the Russians were. Steve was leading the way and once again you were on the back.

‘ Just like old times’ you thought.

As you were about to step out of your hiding spot, suddenly Steve stopped moving and motioned for you to do the same. Two Russians were directly in front of you and the fear of getting caught pulled the air out of your lungs. Steve stopped to look if it was clear for you to continue moving and once he confirmed it you silently started walking again.

“ Okay, that was close.” Robin said who was behind Steve.

“ Too close.” you brother said, following after her. You would have agreed, but you prefered to keep looking out if anyone was near just in case.

“ Relax.” Steve told them “All right? Relax. Nobody saw..” he dragged the last word as we turned the corner and saw maybe like a dozen of people before you. Your eyes popped out of your head. Some of them wore doctor gowns or suits and some were holding guns. The second a guy almost saw you, you cursed and took ahold of Erica’s backbag so you could easily pull her aside,behind a big metal box. The rest followed you.

You settled there and started whispering to each other.

“ Red dawn.” Dustin said, who was now sitting behind you.

“ I saw it. First floor, northwest.” Erica said in a hurry.

“ Saw what?” Steve asked, his back leaning on the storage box.

“ The comms room!”

“ You saw the comms room?” Steve said in disbelief, as he turned his head to get a look but wasn’t able to.

“ Correct.” Erica answered her voice slightly cracking. She was afraid, but you didn’t know what to do. You just placed your hand on her shoulder and by the fact that she did not protest about it, you figured she could use a little reassurance.

“ Are you sure?” Dustin interrupted their conversation.

“ Positive. The door was open for a second and I saw a bunch of lights and machines and shit in there.”

“ That could be any room, Erica.” you said carefully, since her nerves could easily backfire towards you.

“ I’ll take those odds.” Robin said looking at you and then turned to Steve to see if he agreed. He turned to look at you as if he was asking what he should do, but you didn’t know and he could see that on your face. He didn’t blame you; he had no idea what to do either.

Finally he sighed and looked at the room full of Russians one more time. All of your heads leaned to look towards that direction too. After a few seconds Steve turned to look at you again and your eyes were locked on his, ready to find out what the plan was.

“ All right. We’re gonna move fast, we’re gonna stay low. Okay?” he said, his voice just a whisper.

“ Okay.” you agreed, nodding your head. 

Steve sarted moving and after letting Dustin go ahead of you, so you were at the back again, you followed them as well. You moved carefully, hiding behind small containers, trying not to raise any kind of suspicion. You stopped right where the door Steve was eyeing before was and you waited for the doctor, who had opened the door with an electric key, to step out of the way so you could use it.

“ Let’s go.” Steve whispered and you rushed to get throught the door before it closed “Sh, sh. Come on.” he said and held the door open for all of you to get inside the other room. You were the last to step in, a sigh leaving your lips as Steve quietly closed the door. But your relaxation didn’t last long. A man was in there with you, he heard you enter and stood up to face you.

You froze, kind of wishing if you didn’t move, he wouldn’t see you, but obviously that was not the case. He tried to reach for his baton and Robin in a panicked state decided to try and communicate with him in Russian. She started talking and at first he stopped, but he spoke up as well. You heard Robin recite a part of the code, but anything she was saying didn’t convince this man. He scoffed and reached to take his weapon and you thought that this was it. 

But Steve had other plans.

He started yelling next to you and threw himself at the Russian, pushing him towards the table, but the man easily sent him to the side. Steve landed on another table and quickly dodged a punch that was headed his way. You gasped, fearing the worst for the boy you loved, as the Russian grabbed Steve’s uniform and pushed his chest on the table. Steve grunted, but didn’t give up. The moment the Russian was ready to throw his fist at him again, Steve elbowed him on the stomach with all of his power and the man stumbled back. Steve’s eyes caught sight of the phone that was on the wall and thought that it was heavy enough to knock the man out. He grabbed it and hit it right on the guy’s face. If that didn’t do the job, then the nasty hit he had on the table from the force of the punch definetely put him to sleep.

The least you could say was that you were shocked. You didn’t know whether to congratulate Steve or yell at him for how reckless that was. Before deciding on that though you definetely had to take a deep breath and make the blush on your cheeks and the butterflies on your stomach to go away, because despite the danger, Steve was hot while fighting.

He was breathing heavily and moving the loose strands out of his eyes, when Dustin spoke up.

“ Dude! You did it! You won a fight!” he said excitedly, a goofy grin on his lips.

Steve looked at him, before his eyes fell on you and it was clear that he had seen your red cheeks by the smirk that was now forming on his lips as he looked down on the Russian guard on the floor.

Steve just shrugged it off, even though his then smirk was now a full on smile. Dustin left your side and ran up to the man on the floor, taking the card from his belt.

“ What are you doing?” Erica said, her frustration visible.

“ Getting us our ticket out of here.” Dustin answered.

“ You want to walk all the way back?” Erica pointed towards the direction you had come from. They started arguing, but a hand on your shoulder pulled your attention towards the staircase Robin was pointing at in front of you. You took a hesitant step foward at first, but eventually started walking up the stairs to see what was causing the flickering lights. You ignored your gut feeling yelling for you to turn around, as you took the last step on the staircase. You tried to open the door, but it was locked.

“ What is that?” Robin asked, fear in her voice. A voice in your head was telling you that you already knew what was behind the door, but you couldn’t accept it if you hadn’t seen it first.

‘ It couldn’t be all connected, right?’

“ Call the guys.” you simply said and without a second thought she rushed to tell the rest to come up to you.

You were facing them as they walked up the stairs, Steve once again on the lead “What is it?” he asked, when he saw the worry in your eyes. He took the last step and placed a hand on the small of your back, not one of you overthinking the intimate touch, because in your state of shock, his touch was the only thing that could relax you.

You sighed, not knowing how to answer his question “Dustin, the key card.” he handed you the card and you opened the door. With the slight help of Steve, you pushed it open and let the others to walk in the other room. You let Steve close it and carefully turned to face what you have been dreading.

The moment you saw what was behind the glass windows, your hand reached for Steve’s and he gladly took it, your fingers intertwining. You walked towards the window Dustin was looking through and without even looking, you knew you all shared the same shocked face.

“ Holy shit.” Dustin said and you almost let out a sob as you watched the Russians work on a machine that was opening a portal to what you could only imagine was the Upside Down.

“ Not again..” you whispered.

~~~

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[fatiguing-thoughts]

“Natural” - Chapter One- Embry Call x Reader

Coming Home

After almost two years, I finally got to come back to Forks. We had to move for my dad’s job temporarily, which was truthfully my biggest nightmare. I was stuck living in Texas; rotting away in the sun and overbearing heat. I had missed all my friends, while I tried to contact them as much as I could, it was super difficult to keep our contact as much as I would like-- especially due to their mysterious disappearances at times. 

I left our sophomore year of highschool, something we were all supposed to go through together, alas I did it alone and miserable. Yeah we would’ve gone to two different high schools, but to be able to hang out every day as we usually did was something I would’ve killed for.  I just was happy that I can assume they all had a better experience since they were together. 

We were such a tight knit group of friends, thanks to my dad being great friends with Billy Black. It was Jake, Quil, Embry, and I against the world. Though, if I were to be honest, Embry was the first guy I ever had a crush on. Since we were kids, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. I think only Jake knew, as he was the first friend I ever made. The constant behind the scenes teasing was something I could never forget. 

Part of me wonders that if I ever left, would Embry and I have ended up together? I always felt that the feeling probably was mutual, but the fear of ruining the best friendship ever was a lot to consider. I never pushed, and neither did he. Though, before I left-- we did kiss. 

That kiss was enough to leave me with the feeling of a thousand suns bursting in my soul. I never wanted to let go of Embry. But it was something we never discussed further. I’m still not even sure why not, probably because me leaving hurt us all a lot. We often still add music to our shared playlist, though. I would have to make it a point to myself for my own sake that I don’t get my hopes up for nothing. 

Over the years, I’ve never been so thankful for technology. I still got to, as I said, rarely watch them all grow up seemingly overnight. The haircuts last year really threw me through a loop, but I never pressed. It made me sad to see Jake and Embry cut their hair, I loved their hair. The excitement that I felt to see them again was raging inside of me. They had no clue I was coming back so soon. I told them I would return after graduation in the summer, but they had no idea I meant that week. 

As we pulled up the small house in Forks, I could barely contain my excitement. I followed my father’s car in my own, watching the moving truck unload everything into our new house. 

We both exited our respective cars, meeting up for a nice side hug on the front lawn, admiring the new house. 

“You talked to Billy, right?” I ask him. 

“Yes. He said the boys should be around, or at least Jacob would be. You can head over there soon.” He smiled at me, knowing that seeing the guys was the top priority for me. 

“Thank you, dad. I’ll help unpack, too. Don’t worry. I just miss them so much.” I say, almost tearing up at the thought of them. 

I walked into the house, finding my room. I dropped what I brought with me in my car off. I smiled at the thought of being back home. I was going to love decorating my new room. I was going to love the environment again, the woods. Everything. I looked out my window and admired the patch of woods I was blessed to have nearby. I would have to explore those soon. I smiled at the thought of smelling the pine trees and the earth underneath my feet. I would have to drag the guys on hikes again. 

I grab my keys, phone, and wallet and throw them into my small bag. Walking down the stairs avoiding the moving guys as best I can. 

I start my car, driving down the long and winding roads to the reservation. Smiling like an idiot, before the nerves kicked in. 

What if they changed so much and would hate me now? What if they don’t want me around? What if Embry wants nothing to do with me? Even worse, what if Embry had a girlfriend? 

I tried to shake the thoughts away, knowing it would only ruin the surprise. 

Before I knew it, I pulled up to the Black household. I got out of my car, walking up the path to the front door, knocking. 

The door swings open to Billy smiling. 

“I can’t believe you’re here, kid. I missed you!” He rolls backwards, letting me in. I hugged him hello. 

“I can’t believe it either.” I said, smiling. 

“You grew up so much. I can’t even believe it.” He looks at me, smiling like a proud uncle. 

“It’s crazy right? I can’t even imagine how big they all got. In pictures they look huge.” I laugh.

“Oh yeah, they got huge. Jacob and Quil should be here in a few minutes, I sent them out to go get swedish fish. Your favorite.” He laughed. 

“Oh, so they’re bringing me a snack without knowing?” I laugh.

“Yeah they are. Please, come sit down.” He directs me to the couch. 

I thank him and walk over, plopping down. We had some small talk for a few minutes before we heard the boys coming back. The doorknob began to open and I felt my heart almost leap through my chest. 

“We got the swedish fish. But why did we have to get them? You don’t even like-.” Jacob stops talking as he sees me sitting on the couch. 

Quil looks at him confused, before seeing me for himself. His face lights up. 

“No fuckin way.” Quil says through an ear to ear grin. 

“(Y/N)!” Jacob runs over to me, I stand up before he picks me up, spinning me in a hug. 

“When did you get here?” He asks me, smiling like a kid on Christmas.

At least they were happy to see me. 

“Forks? About an hour ago. Your house? Like ten minutes ago.” I laugh. 

“You’re back for good?” He asks, still not letting go of me. 

“Yes. For good, finally.” I smile. 

“Okay okay, it’s my turn.” Quil says, pushing past Jacob to engulf me into a rib-crushing hug. 

I noticed how they were both burning hot as Quil didn’t let go of me. 

“Jesus, you’re both burning up. Are you guys sick?” I ask concerned.

“No, we just run hot.” Quil smiles. 

“Oh, okay… So when did you guys get so… massive?” I ask, practically looking up at them. 

“About a year or so ago. You missed a lot, sweetie.” Quil says, messing up the hair on my head. 

“You guys have matching tattoos?” I ask, pointing to their arms. 

“Wow, (Y/N). You’re observant today.” Jacob laughs.

“Yeah, it’s for the tribe. A lot of us have it.” Quil says, looking at his arm before back at me.

“Oh, that’s really nice. They look great.” I smile at them. 

“So, now that we have this surprise, we have to figure out plans for tonight.” Jake looks between Quil and I. 

“Well, I have a patch of woods by my house. I planned on going on a hike myself tomorrow morning or tonight if I didn’t get home too late. Would you guys wanna do that?” I ask, looking at them. 

“Woah, by yourself?” Quil almost shrieks. 

“Yeah, what’s so bad about that? A lot of bears or something?” I laugh. 

“Yeah, there’s been a lot of bear attacks. We’ll go with you.” Jake offers, glancing back at Billy, who seemed to nod in approval. 

“Oh okay, cool. You could also help me put my room together if you guys want, take a peek at the new house.” I poke Jacob’s arm, knowing they would be great to help me move furniture. 

“Wow, already trying to recruit us?” Quil laughs. 

“Maybe. Or maybe I just need help moving furniture into the best spots?” I smile at them, pleading with my eyes. 

“Okay, let’s go.” Jacob rolls his eyes, playfully shoving me. 

“Okay, I’m parked right outside, I’ll drive. Bye Billy, it was great to see you.” I smile at him, hugging him goodbye. 

“Goodbye, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon, right?” 

“Of course. You’re gonna be sick of me soon!” I yell back at him. 

“Never!” He laughs. 

The boys and I walk over to my car and begin the drive to my house, blasting music and singing like absolute psychopaths. 

We pull into the driveway and they greet my excited father. They talk for a few before I drag them upstairs to help me move my furniture. 

“Jake, you got buff. Like really buff. What happened?” I ask in shock as he moves my dresser with seemingly no effort. 

“Hey, I got buff, too.” Quil says defensively, moving the other dresser with just as much ease. 

“I see that. Jeez, I missed a lot.” I chuckled, looking down sadly. 

“Well, we get to make up for lost time, now.” Jake smiles. “I can’t wait, I’ve missed having friends.” I admit, laughing. 

“You definitely friends in Texas.” Quil scoffed. 

“Nah, not really.” I purse my lips, stifling my chuckle. 

“Well, you have us again. Plus our friend group expanded greatly, so you won’t be bored anymore.” Quil offers, earning a hesitant look from Jacob. 

“Anyone I know?” I ask. 

“Yeah, you’ll remember them. Jared, Paul, Sam, Leah, and some others.” Jacob says. 

“Oh wow, that’s great that you all hang out a lot now.” I smile. 

“Yeah, it is.” Jacob says, looking at the bed. 

“Where do you want the bed?” Quil asks. 

“I can help you guys with that, it’s really heavy with the mattress on it and everything. But I want it in that corner by the window.” I point.

Without missing a beat, the two boys pick up the bed with ease and move it, leaving me surprised. 

“Or not.” I smile. 

They look back to me, smiling. We finish moving everything else around, taking much less time than I thought it would. 

I look around in astonishment, impressed with how quick that was.

“Wanna go for that hike?” Jake offers. 

“Yeah, of course.” I grin, leading them out of my room and out the back door. 

We walk around, exploring the new environment. 

I found a fallen log, walking across the top of it. 

“If you’re as clumsy as I remember, maybe this isn’t your best choice.” Quil laughs. 

Jacob turns, looking at me with impressed eyes as I make it to the end of the log with no slip ups.

“See, I’m fine.” I smirk, right as I trip over my own feet as I went to jump off the log. 

Quil catches me right before I fell into the dirt. 

“Yeah, you’re fine.” He mocks.

“Thanks, Quil.” I nod at him. 

We continued going deeper into the woods, they wanted to hear all about Texas and how much I hated it. 

“So, how bad is the bear thing? I really can’t go hiking alone?” I ask as the sun begins to set, causing us to head back to Jake’s house to watch movies. 

“Uh, really bad. It’s like a real issue here right now.” Quil says, looking at me and then back to Jacob.

“Damn. That sucks. For you guys. Because I’m probably gonna drag you out a lot then.” I smile at them. 

“That’s fine. Works for us.” Jacob smiles. 

“Embry’s gonna shit himself when he sees you.” Quil laughs. 

Embry. 

How I wished he was here. 

“He will.” Jacob laughs, winking at me behind Quil’s back. 

“Oh I’m sure.” I say sarcastically, trying not to blush from Jacob’s silent remark. 

“What? We were all inseparable growing up, just because you were gone for a while doesn’t mean he’ll feel differently.” Quil said. 

“I guess that’s true. Where is he, anyway?” I ask. 

“He’s helping Sam with something.” Jacob answers quickly. 

“Okay... I’ll surprise him tomorrow if that would work.” My voice trails off, eyebrows raised in suspicion. 

“Perfect.” Quil smiles. 

We finally get back to my house, getting into my car and driving over to Jake’s. The drive was once again way too much fun. I missed my best friends. 

“So what’re we gonna watch?” I ask, shutting the car door behind me. 

“I figured Pineapple Express?” Jake offers. 

“Oh god, yes.” I agree excitedly. 

“Great movie.” Quil interjects. 

We begin watching the movie a little after 9:30. 

It starts off with a lot of laughs, but at one point I feel my eyes involuntarily opening and closing. 

My head bouncing up and down, fighting the urge of sleep. 

I wake up to hearing the sound of a guy talking to us, I just didn’t know who it was. I look over at the time, a little after 11:45-- the movie was over. We all fell asleep. I blink my eyes a few times, trying to see what’s going on. 

The man is tall, not as tall as Jacob but taller than Quil. He was just as buff as, if not more, Jake, bigger than Quil for sure. 

Jacob is still knocked out, able to sleep through anything just like I remember, and Quil was stirring awake. 

“Hey, assholes. You’re late. You were supposed to be at Sam’s at 11:30.” He scolds, throwing a pillow at Quil to finish the job of waking him up. 

“Oh shit, what time is it?” He wakes up, beginning to panic. 

“Embry and I are done. It’s your turn, but Embry can’t go to bed until your asses get up and take over. It’s your turn for patrol.” He throws another at Jacob. 

“Paul.” Quil said sternly, nodding his head over to me.

Paul looks over at me, realizing that I was in the room. 

They must’ve not known I was awake and listening. 

“Don’t wake her up.” Quil says quickly. 

“It’s okay, I’m up. I should probably get home anyway. Then you guys can go help your friend with whatever you have to.” I say, yawning. 

“And who are you, pretty lady?” Paul looks at me, smiling. 

“I’m (Y/N).” I smile back, trying not to blush at the compliment. 

“Oh shit, no way. I haven’t seen you in years, I couldn’t even tell in the dark. These guys talk about you all the time.” He smiles as he steps forward. 

I get up and give him a tired hug hello, noticing that he, too, feels hot like Quil and Jake. He also had the same tattoo as them, I wonder if the whole friend group had it. 

“You look great.” He smirks at me. 

“You got huge, too. What the hell happened to all of you?” I ask sleepily, laughing a bit. 

“Just a lot of working out, I guess. Even though I was massive before you left.” He elbows my side lightly. 

“Oh, Paul. You haven’t changed one bit, huh?” I joke. 

“Nope, guess not.” He says. 

“Jake, get up.” Quil says, shaking the boy in his sleep. 

“What?” He groans.

“Get up, pretty boy. You’re late.” Paul says, walking over to wake him up. 

“Oh shit.” He says, jumping out of the seat like his ass was on fire. 

“What are you guys helping him with so late?” I ask. 

“Uh, they’re helping him with some work around the house. A pipe is leaking, we tried to help, but Jacob and Quil are gonna fix it. Because we couldn’t. So, yeah.” Paul says, smiling at me. 

“Ah, I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it. Text me in the morning, let me know a good time to come surprise Embry tomorrow.” I say, walking out of the house. 

“You got it. We’ll call you.” Quil hugs me goodbye, followed by Jacob. 

“I’m so glad to have you back, (Y/N).” Jacob smiles at me. 

“Me too.” I smile, walking out the door and leaving the house behind. Pulling away from his house I see them all walk outside, waving goodbye. 

 _________________________________

Word count: 2756

This is part one of the series I accidentally started today. I hope you all enjoy!

 I  II  III  IV  V  VI  VII  VIII  VIIII  X  XIR XIE  XII  XIII  XIV  XV XVI  XVII  XVIII  XIIII

#embry call #embry call x reader #jacob black #jacob black x reader #Quil Ateara #jared cameron #quil ateara x reader #sam uley #leah clearwater #seth clearwater #paul lahote #wolf pack #wolf pack x reader #twilight #twilight x reader #embry call fanfiction #twilight fanfiction #embry call imagine

[night-rhea]

Sometimes, its really hard to keep yourself motivated. I know many people can relate at this. Social media can be, cold sometimes. Because, we actually dont know what people think about us,do we? I mean, i mostly dont know. Especially here in tumblr, well i dont use any other platform either jhgfghjkl Sure i have few friends here ,which is im SO grateful, but in majority idk how people see me, or my oc's. I also dont know if thats normal or bad or good.

Why am i talking about that?? Well its because today im kind of emotional. Today is my first years anniversary in tumblr, and i kinda wanna talk. Randomly.

My thirst for drawing started in last year in middleschool. I had many stories in my mind and i wanted to see them on paper. I wanted it so badly, so i tried. Of course i knew results wont be perfect, but i also didnt expected it to be that bad.

I tried many times, but surely not enough, and after many fails i gave up. I told myself "You are not talented for this Naz, you will never be. You are wasting your time and hurting yourself. Find something else."

And i did. I stopped trying. I didnt know this was the worst decision i can make.

İn my last year in highschool -which is one year ago from today- i was kiiinda depressed because of my univercity exam. I wasnt sure which one i wanted to go, i was just randomly studying for a good point in exam. But studying without knowing what you want to do was harder than i thought. When this covid thing happened and i had to stay in my room for months and just study, i just couldnt take it anymore.

I told myself "Fuck everything. Fuck it. You wont do anything good anyway."

I wanted to play some games to kill time, and finished few games. That was the time i remembered Hogwarts Mystery. And i downloaded again. And i fell in love with it.

Time to admit, back then i didnt watch any Hp movie, or read its books. No, i just knew the Harry Potter, saw few film scenes on tv but that it. So its safe to say i learned the Hp universe with Hphm, with Night. It was expected for me to want draw them.

And suprisingly i really started to draw. I didnt care how bad it was, i was already in bottom end i thought it cant be any worse.

And here i am. İn the end of my first year of univercity, studying comminication design, taking art classes, using little graphic tablet. With Night, i realized thats what i want to do. I also find the courage to come out as enby, with Night again. Look how my art changed, how Night changed in a year.

Sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i didnt gave up on drawing, back then when i was in middle school. Thats why im keep saying everyone i know to not stop, believing in theirselves.If you want to do something, that feeling will never leave you alone. You will always want to do it and will do it one day too. Just dont lose that much time like me.

Sooo as you can see, Night is pretty important to me, so Tumblr. Thats why i deeply care about mc's here, all the amazing people here. Because all of you are part of Night's life, at least in my eyes. Thats why a simple like on my art makes me feel happy for week, a simple comment makes me feel loved, cared, seen.

It pains me to find it hard to reach people here. Like most of us here, im not sure if im bothering someone, annoying someone, or talk too much or talk shit too much. It doesnt even makes sense most of times, dont worry i know. But i feel like it anyway. But its okay, isnt it?

I believe we need to let ourselves to feel negative things. To get rid off them. Thats what im doing it anyway. It also shows me how i have love for somethings in my heart, enough to get hurt by it. In its own weird way, im happy to feel that love. If a little negativity comes with it, who cares??

Im happy to be here, cant believe its been a year. I cant believe how my art changed during that time, how i changed.

If im liking your posts, reblogging, leaving comment; i hope you at least smile and feel seen. Because im here, seeing your hard work and amazing results (even if you think its not amazing)

Thank you, and i hope you are also happy to be here. Because i am happy that youre here.

Happy one year anniversary to me and Night, i guess

#Personal #naz's shit post #night rhea #nazart #Im a softie today