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#neglect tw
genderkoolaid · 7 months
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This happened in 2022, but I didn't hear about it then. A teenage Black trans boy with multiple disabilities was murdered by neglect by his transphobic parents. He was also misgendered by the media when it was first reported, which is unfortunately unsurprising.
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punkstylerecovery · 11 months
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Generally speaking, your parents often owe you a lot more than you're taught to believe. A lot of people are raised to believe that parents do not really owe you that much beyond food and shelter and that's not true. In fact, you can have parents who give you food, shelter, patience and kindness and STILL deserve more from them.
By being your parents, they've accepted a very special relationship and amount of responsibility for you. Do you know how many people I know whose parents have never genuinely apologized to them? How many people’s parents physically hurt them, how many people’s parents mock their insecurities, how many people’s parents don’t care for their children’s health, how many parents make their children (intentionally or otherwise) want to die? 
And so many people don’t give a fuck. We’re raised in cultures that more often than not treat us to respect our parents in spite of most anything while also teaching everyone that children don’t deserve shit. We’re raised in cultures that more often than not teach us to “respect our parents” in spite of most anything while also teaching everyone that children don’t really deserve shit. It varies but its so common that lots of people don’t even think twice about it. 
But children DO deserve more than they’re generally given. So much more! And so many things that are literally just abusive are considered normal parenting all around the world and that’s vile, especially considering children are the most severely affected by this and have no “societal power” to wield to put a stop to it beyond what they can scramble together through a combination of sheer determination, shock value, strength and fucking luck. 
Not to sound radical, but I think we owe children a fuck ton more than they’re being given now and I think people need to learn so much more about abuse and how that ties into the common underplaying of what we’re owed in parent/child relationships. 
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im sorry for the rant but im just really fucking tired and i guess that blog from that last ask set off smth in our brain so just tw talk about ableism and abuse ect ect yknow
anyways people who demonize people with cluster b pds are genuinely just the most annoying mfs on the planet theres an extremely high likelyhood both my parents are cluster b (my mom possibly having bpd and my dad possibly having npd) and theyve both been horrifically abusive throughout my entire life and you will never in a million fucking years catch me demonizing innocent people or blaming all that abuse on their disorders. i can fucking acknowledge that my parents' untreated mental health issues affected the way they raised me and abused me without pinning all the blame soley on those mental health issues. my dad ACTIVELY chose not to get help, he ACTIVELY chose to go off the medication he was given, he ACTIVELY made the decision to be a raging abusive bigot who abused and neglected his child and fucking traumatized every person he came into contact with. that was his fucking decision, possible npd and other mental health issues be damned.
and like besides the fact that i think my dad possibly had npd, he was actually dx with bipolar disorder and adhd, both of which severely affected how he raised me but you dont see me going fucking "bipolar abuse!!! adhd abuse!!!" i believe my fathers intense hyperfixations on certain things led him to emotionally neglect me as a very young child and be generally emotionally absent BUT AGAIN you will never see me fucking calling what he did "adhd abuse" and also he fucking chose to not spend time with me, he chose to not be there for me even when he couldve been. my father was a physically, emotionally, psychologically abusive and neglectful piece of shit and i fucking refuse to ever call when he did "narcissistic abuse" because i refuse to ever let a disorder he possibly had take away responsibility for the pain he caused me and so many other people in my life. he could have been better. he fucking chose not to be better. i will not fucking do the same.
im just so fucking angry that ive been out here experiencing all the shit these fuckers are talking about and i still managed to not demonize innocent people with disorders they didnt ask to have who did absolutely fucking nothing to no one. rant over. love you all go drink some water
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artbean · 7 months
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@eddiemonth day 2: friendship
Outcasts stick together. (tw for loss of a parent under the cut)
Maybe your mom dies, your dad gets arrested and you wind up on your Uncle's doorstep with your hair buzzed off and shoes that pinch your toes. But when you turn up to the first day of school a week later, your friend's got new tapes for his walkman and quietly lets you use it in the library at lunch. After school, before his mom's gotten off work, you stop at 7/11 for a pop to share while you read The Hobbit to him and count the yellow cars that drive by while you sit at the curb.
And maybe everything’s different and will never be how it once was, but maybe this is the one thing that will stay the same. You can sit with your friend after school drinking coke and reading Tolkien and talking about your shitty dads, and it might not make the load any lighter but at least you’re not the only one carrying it for a while.
When his mom invites you to sleep over that night, she makes you a grilled cheese sandwich, and it’s less brown than your mama made you, but it tastes like home anyway. She crafts you a nest of quilts in his room, worn soft and smelling like fresh linen. You’ll take turns listening to his walkman until one of you finally falls asleep, because neither of you have gotten used to a quiet home at night.
As the music slows with the dying battery, distorting but with the core of the song remaining unchanged, you drift off alongside it.
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castiellesbian · 1 year
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Do you ever remember that Sam and Dean grew up in motel rooms, often left alone for days or even weeks at a time, including during holidays where Dean had to break in someone's house to steal presents, and Dean had to steal food, and Sam never knew of a home, and they never had any friends their own age because they had to move all the time, do you ever remember this information and feel like losing your mind?
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“most case of child/teen/young person with mental health issues who here get mental health care, majority have parents/families that need mental health care even more. so if young person here for mental health care, parents/family must also sign up for mental health care.” *
good thing in theory. amount of parental abuse neglect manipulate & unresolved trauma project on child & jealous of child, etc.
but. case like me, who severe disable who struggle communicate take care self who no “normal” future.
how many therapists parents mandatory see would instead sympathize with parents who abuse and refuse listen understand and play victim? how many therapists would think parents right and it not abuse and they actually victim and feel sorry for them? how many therapists will agree with parents and affirm parents and give parents more confident continue do same more things?
*= it a photo of one hospital policy see online. you probably won’t need this hospital am talk about.
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constantvariations · 8 months
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Volume 9 in a nutshell
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nihilismtrcit · 10 months
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introducing...eden louise “edie lou” ferraro 
gen 1: aries for the another zodiac legacy challenge by @acuar-io
since childhood, seeking out attention was a constant in eden louise ferraro’s life. her parents didn’t engage with her, rarely made her feel wanted. so she became the type of person who would seek out any attention, positive or negative. she’s a needy girl with an almost pathological desire to be noticed. of course, her hot-headed temper and mean attitude (that especially rears its head when eden feels vulnerable) make it difficult to maintain friendships, let alone romantic relationships. 
after making the move from sandy oasis springs to the spice district of san myshuno, eden decided she’d get the attention she so desperately craved by any means necessary. now an internet personality with aspirations of becoming fabulously wealthy, eden louise - self nicknamed edie lou - spends her days: 
trying to turn her social media career into fortune
cuddling and dressing up her bby chihuahua, clover (bites)
gaming, streaming, vlogging
keeping it tight to flex on social media 
seeking out validation in the form of romantic relationships and/or money
&& generally oscillating between being an overly attached lover and a messy gal ;)
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irondad-defensesquad · 4 months
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I love you (you don't have to say it back, though)
Also posted on AO3!
My last work this year. Happy New Year to those who celebrate it! Still hope you have a great day today :)
--
Tony was usually not allowed to go to his father’s workshop. When he was very small, he was able to sneak inside, but the more he grew up, the less frequent it became. Not with Howard becoming increasingly angrier at him.
By the time Tony went to boarding school, he knew better than to bother Howard.
Except, occasionally, his father would take him to the workshop without saying much. He just expected Tony to follow him without protest.
But don’t be mistaken. Tony couldn’t tell Howard about school or his day overall. He couldn’t ask for help with his homework (after all, Tony was supposed to be smart on his own). Their time was strictly professional, not some father and son bonding.
The boy had to be stiff and silent like a rock the entire time, unless Howard asked him to build something while bearing a judgmental glare, already expecting Tony to fail. Either the man would say nothing, or he would straight up say Tony was doing it completely wrong. Regardless, that always meant their lab time was over and Tony would be kicked out of the workshop.
Nowadays, Tony had his own workshop where he allowed anyone to come in, bots or not. Someone in particular has been coming here a lot more.
It’s so different from the past. Tony and Peter are not even working on the latter’s suit anymore. They’ve abandoned their tools and Peter’s homework has been put to a stop. What for?
Peter has been ranting about Star Wars and how unfair it is the way people have been treating some of the new characters from the most recent trilogy.
Arguably, Tony has only seen the original trilogy years ago, but he was never a fanboy. He might not understand everything to the lore, but he’s not at all bored or annoyed by Peter’s long ramble. He’s listening all the way through, never looking away.
Peter seems to have not noticed Tony staring at him with all the attention in the world, because suddenly… The kid gradually quiets down and stops talking, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.
“... what?” Tony asks, confused. “Why did you stop?”
“Do you think I’m annoying?”
Tony sits closer to him. “No, of course not.”
“Why? I talk too much and- gosh, I’ve been ranting for half an hour about Star Wars…”
“Hey, I don’t mind.”
“But it’s so stupid, Mr. Stark.”
“Kid, it’s not stupid. It matters to you. Besides, you could talk about literally anything and I would listen all the way through.”
“Why?” Peter doesn’t believe him. “Are you just saying that to be nice?”
It hurts Tony hearing the kid’s insecurity.
He squeezes one of Peter’s shoulders.
“Oh, kid… I mean what I say. I like listening to you. I…”
… that word.
Love.
Is he going to say it?
“... I like having you here.”
Ah, dang it.
Still, the light in Peter’s puppy eyes returns. They look like the clean starry sky they can see from upstate. It does sting Tony’s heart how surprised Peter is to hear those words. He feels regret for not letting the kid know how much he likes his company. Tony will make sure to correct that from now on.
He pulls the kid in a half hug, squeezing him. Peter is very stiff at first, but he eventually relaxes and lies against Tony’s shoulder like a cat. If Tony isn’t seeing things, the teen is probably about to cry.
After this, they go back to work. Peter asks for help and Tony guides him. When the kid solves it, Tony praises him.
Then, the two leave the workshop together to eat ice cream and watch a dumb sitcom.
Tony eventually notices Peter has been staring at him with the same stars in his eyes.
But not in a mere fanboyish way.
After that, Peter lies against Tony again.
“I like being here, too,” he says simply.
It shouldn’t be surprising, right?
Still, Tony’s eyes blur.
Nothing rolls down, but truly, he’s not made of iron.
And that’s more than okay.
Tony smiles and lies his head on top of Peter’s, wrapping an arm around the kid.
Maybe he didn’t say what he meant just yet… but maybe Peter knows it.
Still, Tony will say it. He promises that.
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nerves-nebula · 1 year
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part of my color final, which was a little booklet where most pages were a new color palette
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i guess you could call this a vent or whatever but im going to tell you about something that has been making me crazy lately
so when i was like 3 i took a serious blunt force blow to the forehead. our house had hardwood floors and my brother had left a sock on the floor and i slipped on it and hit my head on the rounded corner of our oak coffee table. it left an inch long open wound and i was completely dazed and unresponsive, but conscious.
here is where i start getting frustrated. my mom didnt call 911 or take me to the ER, she took me to our family pediatrician. already really questionable imo but it gets worse. so ive got this gaping hole in my forehead and im unresponsive right? so what do they do? sew my forehead shut right there in the pediatricians office while i watched. didnt give me any anaesthetic or anything because i was, again, completely unresponsive.
then my mom was like "okay you arent bleeding anymore, can i leave now so i can go see the play i wanted to see?" but at this point im screaming and crying because im a toddler with fucking brain damage and a stitched wound that still hurts.
so she just took me home and that was that. and then for months afterwords she couldnt get me to wake up in the morning so she stuffed my limp body into my school clothes herself and took me to preschool half asleep. and then nobody ever spoke about it again except to make jokes.
its been two decades and i am only now realizing that ive had serious brain damage the whole time. my mom and brother have been shaming and belittling me for years for displaying symptoms of the brain damage that they gave me. my mom calls me a fucking spaz and my brother is pissed because he thinks i get "special treatment" instead of realizing that i need more help because he gave me brain damage. its like the final puzzle piece that explains why my life is such a mess.
and im just so overwhelmed by the fact that my mom and brother are directly responsible for the immense suffering ive endured over the past 20 years. all my health problems, the mental illness, the inability to avoid being abused, its all because of the brain damage. and they keep making fun of me for it. im not even mad im just. horrified. the sheer negligence of it all makes me sick. how many people like me are out there suffering from old brain injuries they didnt realize they had?
its like my brain cant even comprehend how fucked up the whole situation is. which is why im here telling it to you in the hopes that you will agree that its very bad 🙃
This is abuse and neglect on a level that no one and nothing could ever justify and I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. You deserved SO much better! ❤️
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I am forever thinking about how Tony Stark was never just a playboy.
That man was winning awards for his brilliance in childhood. The playboy side of him is a side effect of the trauma he has. He grew up feeling neglected and abandoned by his parents and he buried those feelings in drugs and sex. That never meant that he was stupid or selfish or any of the stereotypes that people who didn't really know him put on him.
And the worst part is that Tony believed those things, too. If you asked him if he was kind or generous or good he would tell you no, not because he isn't but because he doesn't believe he's good enough, kind enough, or generous enough for those things to be a part of his identity as a person.
He's proud of being a genius, its the one thing he gets right. He can call himself a philanthropist because that's what rich people who give money away are. He calls himself a playboy because he sees himself that way. Because he puts the worst parts of himself first.
Sure the man has an ego. Unfortunately that's not uncommon for this kind of trauma. Existing in a space where you can see your best parts and think "I am amazing" and also brush those things off and say "It's not enough."
Because if he wasn't good enough for his parents then he just plain isn't good enough, right?
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intersexfairy · 6 months
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i have seen over 30 mental health professionals since i was 10 ish. none of them have set me up to get away from my abusive father. none of them. none. none none. no one. im so helpless. im just destroying myself to qualify for detox and rehab so i can get out of here. theonly other way right now are the streets and instittuonalization and i would rather die than go back to state, let alone adult state hospital.
if i dont make it out of here alive i want you all to know i love you and i want you to keep going. please, even if you're a stranger and never talked to me, live through me. even now. even now. the reaper is hanging over me every day. i love you. stay alive.
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npd culture is wishing you had something outwardly physically harming you or causing you extreme issues so then maybe your fucking mother would actually care about you and not get mad at you for being literally fucking depressed, and not write off your mental illnesses with shit that is GENUINELY just "dont be sad :)" and i feel kinda bad for that but also fuck you
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kittykatrattie · 9 months
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Whatever you do don't think about little toddler Max having to sit alone in his room after a nightmare because his parents don't wanna deal with him :(
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Primetober Day 1: It’s Not Kidnapping If You Make The Rules, with all three extra themes (Kidnapping, Gaslighting, and “You'll do as I say.”)
Boy in the bunker AU. Five year old Tommy is remembering a little of his life outside with the SBI, and Dream makes sure to convince him he's just going crazy. Warnings for kidnapping, manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, imprisonment, abuse and neglect of a very young child, traumabonding, and ableist rhetoric used to victim blame a child.
ao3 if you prefer
— “Dream?” Tommy grasped hard on his big brother’s leg, like a vice grip stopping him from leaving and making Tommy all lonely again. He’d left for a long, long time when he’d gone through the bunker doors last time, long enough that all the food had run out except the ones in the big cupboards he wasn’t able to reach yet, and he’d curled up crying in the top bunk holding his aching stomach for two miserable nights. That was where Dream slept, after all, and the silky green sheets almost felt like his big brother was hugging him from far away. “You gotta stay. You gotta.”
Dream chuckled. “Toms, I just got back. I’m not gonna get you cereal then immediately bounce.”
“Oh.” Tommy turned red, though he didn’t let go. He was a big boy- it was his fifth birthday just before Dream had left last!- but he could still be clingy, right? It felt childish and silly for a big kid to do, but Dream always praised Tommy for it, so it was good, right? “Why’d it take you so long to find shit? Did the rabi- radi- poison cloud bomb shit hurt you?”
Dream had told him all about how the world got fucked up when he was only little. There used to be a big island outside the bunker doors, with lots of people, and stuff like schools and other stuff that was on the DVDs. But then the countries, which were like really big families but not really where one person controlled everything like Dream did with him, but they were mean about it, bombed each other, and the bombs had poison in them, and it killed everyone except him and Dream, because Dream had found the bunker and taken him there.
It was always scary whenever Dream went out scavenging in the surface world. Every time, Tommy made a thousand prayers that he wouldn’t get hurt. He wasn’t really sure what a prayer was, but people did it in the movies, so it must work. Once, Tommy forgot to do his prayers, and when he realised he was so worried that he was sick all over the bed because he thought he’d killed Dream and he’d starve to death alone. 
There was the Gun- Dream always said that if one of them was gonna die, he’d take it and kill both of them quickly because it was better than dying in pain or being alone, but Tommy wasn’t big enough to reach the cupboard it was kept in. Besides, only Dream was allowed to use the Gun. Once, he’d hit Tommy just for looking at it for too long, but it was only a little hit, so it was okay because Dream did stuff that left scars when he needed a proper lesson. They didn’t show that on the TV, but Dream had told him that what was on the TV was made up and that stuff like talking cats weren’t real. But cats were, which was equally as weird as talking cats, Tommy thought.
“Nah, I’m fine, lil’ cockroach.” Dream ruffled Tommy’s hair, grimacing a little at its messy state. “God, you need a bath. You’re filthy. Did you roll around in the greenhouse or something?”
“… nooooo?” Tommy yelped as Dream pulled his curls, just enough to hurt. “Okay, okay, I did it, m’ sorry! I wanted to see if the dirt would make my hair brown, so I got some dirt and poured it over me.” He put on his best puppy-dog impression. “I take full respo-sbility for my actions. So, uh, you can hit me and stuff.”
“Aww, look at you, trying to be manipulative. It’s adorable.” Dream laughed. “Fine, you can get away with it for now.”
Tommy giggled at that, before he suddenly stopped. Oh yeah, there was something important he had to tell his big brother. The excitement of finally having someone around was so overwhelming he’d nearly forgotten. “Uh, Dream? Can I tell you something?”
“Course, Tommy. We’re family, right? You can tell me anything.” It sounded more like an order than a comfort, but Tommy was used to orders. Dream said that if he didn’t follow all the orders, then maybe something would go wrong, and the toxic thingy would seep through the doors, and they’d die, and Tommy didn’t want to die. Being alive was pretty awesome, he thought. “Don’t you trust me, lil bro?”
“Of- of course! It’s just- it’s about b’fore, y’know, the bombs an’ shit. I had- I could remember it.”
Dream froze up at that, glaring down at Tommy like there was something dangerous about what he said. Tommy nervously fiddled with his fingers, voice catching in his throat, before Dream gave a sickly sweet smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes. “What could you remember, little bug?” His voice was honeyed, but Tommy knew well enough the poison it hid.
“I- uh, it was when I was real little. Back before I realised I was a boy and stuff.” Tommy couldn’t look his brother in the eyes, feeling somehow guilty about it even though he didn’t know what he did wrong. But it upset Dream, and therefore Tommy couldn’t help but get the sickening feeling he deserved punishment. “I was in a pink dress- like that one in Sims, right? And I was- I was in a park, and there was grass under my feet and shit. And- uh, I think I remember- I don’t know, I don’t think he was my dad. He looked kinda like you, so I guess he was my big brother?”
Tommy gulped, and Dream continued to look down at him, unblinking. “Continue.” His voice was like ice.
“U-um.” Tommy could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He knew he was gonna get a whooping, but it’d probably be worse if he directly disobeyed Dream, so he continued. “Well, I uh, I was playing with a doll, but I lost it, and this nice man got it for me, but then we were really far away from my other brother. And I looked up and- and it was you! And you had the Knife, and you just kinda picked me up and ran.” Tommy laughed, the idea seeming funny. He must have been so tiny back then. “And then I got this.” He gestured at the rough scar across his chest- the first Dream ever gave him, which he treasured because it meant Dream cared enough to correct him, and that meant he loved him.
“Tommy.” Dream didn’t sound mad, just completely emotionless. “Don’t tell lies.”
“I-I’m not- it’s- I ’member it, promise!” Tommy huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “I remember it.”
“Really?” Dream raised an eyebrow.
“Really really. I can pinkie promise if you want.”
“No, no, I believe you.” Dream’s voice was suddenly calm, suddenly sickly sweet again. “But, Tommy… that means you’re not well.”
Tommy blinked. “Huh?”
“Tommy… how could I meet you in a park if I found you after the bombs fell? That doesn’t make sense. Think about it.” Dream gently ruffled Tommy’s hair as he spoke, giving him a sad smile. “I… some people just aren’t well, Tommy. What they see and hear isn’t what’s really going on. I wish I knew this earlier, so I could help…”
Tommy furrowed his brows, deep in thought. “Does that mean… anything I see and hear and shit? It could all be- like, stuff I made up?”
Dream nodded. “Mhm. But it’s okay. I can do all the thinking for you! Just- just tell me everything you see and hear and remember at the end of the day, and I’ll tell you what the truth is. Okay?”
“Even if I do something bad? Won’t I get in trouble?”
“I mean, yeah, but if you avoid doing that and don’t speak to me, you’ll also be in trouble, right? So it’s fine.”
“… Right.” The idea of there being no way of avoiding hurt seemed horrible, but if Dream thought it was correct… it had to be, right? Everything Dream did prevented the outside things from breaking in and poisoning them, so Tommy had to trust him, or else they’d both die, and neither of them wanted to die.
“Try not to sound so bratty about that, God.” Tommy couldn’t tell if Dream was joking or not saying that, an equal mix of humour and frustration in his voice, and he instinctively flinched. “I make the rules for a reason, Tommy. I keep us alive. I keep us more than alive. I keep the electricity running and get you your favourite food. All I ask is your obedience; is that so hard? Christ.” He covered his face with his hands, sighing. “I guess I can’t blame you. You- you’re not well. It’s not your fault that you’re fragile. It just means you need a firmer hand.”
Something about being called fragile made Tommy feel really upset, but if Dream was saying it, then it had to be correct, and Tommy was being the unreasonable one. Maybe he was fucking crazy. Maybe he was thinking wrong stuff, maybe he needed Dream to tell him everything.
And would that be so bad? Dream was his big brother, and he was the bestest big brother ever. He tucked Tommy into bed, he cooked his favourite food, he played Smash with him all day long sometimes, and even sometimes let him win. When Tommy realised he was a boy, he immediately gave him a cool new name and cool new clothes. He gave the best hugs and was so cool to talk to, he had the most awesome stories about what he did in the surface world. Tommy was pretty sure most of them were fake because they all contradicted each other, but they were so cool he didn’t care. And no matter how long he had to leave, he always came back.
Yeah, Dream knew best. He made the rules for a reason.
“M’ sorry. I’ll tell you everything.” Tommy gave the biggest grin he could, even though he didn’t feel happy, he just felt guilty and stupid. “You’re so smart and cool. I trust you.”
“Aww, and you’re so smart and cool too, Tommy, else you wouldn’t realise that!” Dream laughed, all venom in his voice dissipated. “Also, we need to wash the dirt out of your hair. Seriously, how did you get so much in?”
Tommy batted his eyes innocently. “It was an accident, I swear.” He burst into giggles at that too, and they were both smiling, tension removed from the air. All was well again, and Tommy had learnt a valuable lesson.
He just needed to rely on Dream over his own senses, and everything would be okay.
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