#sara can do many things but staying dead is not one of them

[muirann]

legends of tomorrow rebelling against the “bury your gays” trope by killing one of their sapphic main characters 14+ times and bringing her back every time

#sara lance #white canary #legends of tomorrow #sara can do many things but staying dead is not one of them

[soracities]

what are your suggestions for starter poetry for people who dont have strong reading/analysis backgrounds

I've answered this a few times so I'm going to compile and expand them all into one post here.

I think if you haven't read much poetry before or aren't sure of your own tastes yet, then poetry anthologies are a great place to start: many of them will have a unifying theme so you can hone in based on a subject that interests you, or pick your way through something more general. I haven't read all of the ones below, but I have read most of them; the rest I came across in my own readings and added to my list either because I like the concept or am familiar with the editor(s) / their work:

Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times (ed. Nick Astley) & Being Alive: The Sequel to Staying Alive (there's two more books in this series, but I'm recommending these two just because it's where I started)

The Rattlebag (ed. Seamus Heaney and Ted Hughes)

The Ecco Anthology of International Poetry (ed. Ilya Kaminsky & Susan Harris)

The Essential Haiku, Versions of Basho, Buson and Issa (ed. Robert Hass)

A Book of Luminous Things (ed. Czesław Miłosz )

Now and Then: The Poet's Choice Columns by Robert Hass (this may be a good place to start if you're also looking for commentary on the poems themselves)

Poetry Unbound: 50 Poems to Open Your World(ed. Pádraig Ó'Tuama)

African American Poetry: 250 Years of Struggle and Song (ed. Kevin Young)

The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing (ed. Kevin Young)

Lifelines: Letters from Famous People about their Favourite Poems

The following lists are authors I love in one regard or another and is a small mix of different styles / time periods which I think are still fairly accessible regardless of what your reading background is! It's be no means exhaustice but hopefully it gives you even just a small glimpse of the range that's available so you can branch off and explore for yourself if any particular work speaks to you.

But in any case, for individual collections, I would try:

anything by Sara Teasdale

Devotions / Wild Geese / Felicity by Mary Oliver

Selected Poems and Prose by Christina Rossetti

Collected Poems by Langston Hughes

Where the Sidewalk Endsby Shel Silverstein

Morning Haiku by Sonia Sanchez

Revolutionary Letters, Diane di Prima

Concerning the Book That Is the Body of the Beloved by Gregory Orr

Rose: Poems by Li-Young Lee

A Red Cherry on a White-Tiled Floor / Barefoot Souls by Maram al-Masri

Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

Tell Me: Poems / What is This Thing Called Love? by Kim Addonizio

The Trouble with Poetry by Billy Collins (Billy Collins is THE go-to for accessible / beginner poetry in my view so I think any of his collections would probably do)

Crush by Richard Siken

Rapture / The World's Wife by Carol Ann Duffy

The War Works Hard by Dunya Mikhail

Selected Poems by Walt Whitman

View with a Grain of Sand by Wislawa Szymborska

Collected Poems by Vasko Popa

Under Milkwood by Dylan Thomas (this is a play, but Thomas is a poet and the language & structure is definitely poetic to me)

Bright Dead Things: Poems by Ada Limón

Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth by Warsan Shire,

Nostalgia, My Enemy: Selected Poems by Saadi Youssef

As for individual poems:

“Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver

[Dear The Vatican] erasure poem by Pádraig Ó'Tuama // "The Pedagogy of Conflict"

"Good Bones" by Maggie Smith

"The Author Writes the First Draft of His Weddings Vows (An erasure of Virginia Woolf's suicide letter to her husband, Leonard)" by Hanif Abdurraqib

"I Can Tell You a Story" by Chuck Carlise

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"One Last Poem for Richard" by Sandra Cisneros

"We Lived Happily During the War" by Ilya Kaminsky

“I’m Explaining a Few Things”by Pablo Neruda

"Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" //"Nothing Gold Can Stay"//"Out, Out--" by Robert Frost

"Tablets: I // II // III"by Dunya Mikhail

"What Were They Like?" by Denise Levertov

"Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden,

"The Patience of Ordinary Things" by Pat Schneider

“I, too” // "The Negro Speaks of Rivers” // "Harlem” // “Theme for English B” by Langston Hughes

“The Mower” // "The Trees" // "High Windows" by Philip Larkin

“The Leash” // “Love Poem with Apologies for My Appearance” // "Downhearted" by Ada Limón

“The Flea” by John Donne

"The Last Rose of Summer" by Thomas Moore

"Beauty" // "Please don't" // "How it Adds Up" by Tony Hoagland

“My Friend Yeshi” by Alice Walker

"De Humanis Corporis Fabrica"byJohn Burnside

“What Do Women Want?” // “For Desire” // "Stolen Moments" // "The Numbers" by Kim Addonizio

“Hummingbird” // "For Tess" by Raymond Carver

"The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin

“Bleecker Street, Summer” by Derek Walcott

“Dirge Without Music” // "What Lips My Lips Have Kissed" by Edna St. Vincent Millay

“Digging” // “Mid-Term Break” // “The Rain Stick” // "Blackberry Picking" // "Twice Shy" by Seamus Heaney

“Dulce Et Decorum Est”by Wilfred Owen

“Notes from a Nonexistent Himalayan Expedition”by Wislawa Szymborska

"Hour" //"Medusa" byCarol Ann Duffy

“The More Loving One” // “Musée des Beaux Arts” by W.H. Auden

“Small Kindnesses” // "Feeding the Worms" by Danusha Laméris

"Down by the Salley Gardens” // “The Stolen Child” by W.B. Yeats

"The Thing Is" by Ellen Bass

"The Last Love Letter from an Entymologist" by Jared Singer

"[i like my body when it is with your]" by e.e. cummings

"Try to Praise the Mutilated World" by Adam Zagajewski

"The Cinnamon Peeler" by Michael Ondaatje

"Last Night I Dreamed I Made Myself" by Paige Lewis

"A Dream Within a Dream" // "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe (highly recommend reading the last one out loud or listening to it recited)

"Ars Poetica?" // "Encounter" // "A Song on the End of the World"by Czeslaw Milosz

"Wandering Around an Albequerque Airport Terminal” // "Two Countries” // "Kindness” by Naoimi Shihab Nye

"Slow Dance” by Matthew Dickman

"The Archipelago of Kisses" // "The Quiet World" by Jeffrey McDaniel

"Mimesis" by Fady Joudah

"The Great Fires" // "The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart" // "Failing and Flying" by Jack Gilbert

"The Mermaid" // "Virtuosi" by Lisel Mueller

"Macrophobia (Fear of Waiting)" by Jamaal May

"Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong" by Ocean Vuong

"Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou

I would also recommend spending some times with essays, interviews, or other non-fiction, creative or otherwise (especially by other poets) if you want to broaden and improve how you read poetry; they can help give you a wider idea of the landscape behind and beyond the actual poems themselves, or even just let you acquaint yourself with how particular writers see and describe things in the world around them. The following are some of my favourites:

Upstream: Essays by Mary Oliver

"Theory and Play of the Duende" by Federico García Lorca

"The White Bird" and "Some Notes on Song" by John Berger

In That Great River: A Notebook by Anna Kamienska

A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib

The Book of Delights by Ross Gay

"Of Strangeness That Wakes Us" and "Still Dancing: An Interview with Ilya Kaminsky" by Ilya Kaminsky

"The Sentence is a Lonely Place" by Garielle Lutz

Still Life with Oysters and Lemon by Mark Doty

Paris, When It's Naked by Etel Adnan

#ask #anonymous #beginner guides

[bohemian-nights]

For the life of me I can’t understand how people think it’s acceptable for House of the Dragon a show that is pushing for more diversity (making the Velaryon’s Black and Mysaria Asian) to race bend the only canonical black character. If they wanted to race bend any of the characters they could’ve made Alys Rivers Indian. They could make Sara Snow Mexican and so on. It’s just so frustrating to see this happen time and time again in media when it comes to the portrayal of WOC in general but especially black women.

Like I don't care if people ship Daemyra you know? If shipping those two makes them happy go for it. My only thing is I just want them to stop with the racist shit they say about all the WOC in Daemon's life. From his lovers (cause they've said some racist shit about Mysaria too) to his wife and to even his daughters. At this point I'm convinced half of them don't even like Daemon because if they did they wouldn't stay shitting on the women who at one point or another were/are important to him.

Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️ it's just very strange to me.

The discourse surrounding Nettles is absolutely crazy and you can tell it’s being fueled by anti-black weirdos who are mainly Dumbnyra stans(lol Team Green have their issues too, but they aren’t the ones who are advocating to race bend Nettles 🙃)

Honestly, I did not have a problem with Dumbnyra(and yes I’m going to call it that) at the beginning of the show. I was indifferent to it. However, that quickly changed when most of the fans started to show themselves to be the racist psychopaths that they are. Down to them literally calling Laena the n-word and celebrating her death🙃:

You might say it’s just a couple of the more “extreme” fans that feel that way, but literally go on their blogs, Twitter accounts, etc., and 90% are arguing some bs.

If it’s not bashing Laena(yes they are still doing this even though she’s dead and according to them Rhaenyra was the love of Daemon’s life so it really doesn’t make sense to do all of this for a dead woman who paled in comparison to the “love of his life”🙃) it’s bashing Nettles.

Boy, do they hate Nettles. I'm posting her picture cause this is the face of their nightmares🤣

If it’s not saying Daemon never loved her and she was just this “giant misunderstanding” between himself and the “love of his life” despite him literally going against his wife and queen’s orders to save her, it’s saying how she’s Daemon’s daughter or Daemon saw her like a daughter.

Their relationship was 100% paternal or mentee/ mentor. Stop mentioning the bath’s which were father-daughter bonding time or the fact that they might’ve slept in the same bed which was just done to comfort a frightened child. Daemon would never get with someone so black I mean so foul-mouthed in canon. She’s just his child😅

Why do you want a bada** with a middle-aged white man? You’re the one with the problem, not me even though I’m trying to infantilize a young black woman and pidgin hole her into the “strong independent black woman” trope while supporting a white woman getting with her uncle cause I can relate to her. I refuse to read the books(or parts of the books) because every time I do I want to ripe out my hair when Daemon and Nettles' relationship is mentioned 🙃

Anyway, if it’s not saying she’s going to be cut and replaced with Rhaena(cause then they know that the relationship would actually be non-romantic☺️), it’s saying and actively hoping she’ll be race bent because they can’t stand the thought of Daemon being with a black woman💁🏽‍♀️:

All minorities are the same don’t cha know 😀and we have too many black people on this show. What we have Corlys, his sons, Rhaena, and Baela. Yes, Rhaena and Baela are mixed, but they count as representation cause their skin isn’t white and I can’t relate because of that. Why add the only in-canon black person when we have a whopping 5 whole black people in a sea of whites 🙃

Also, we don’t know what race Nettles is even though we have pictures of her in the lore and in the books as well as descriptions of her appearance that show that she is black, but again every time Nettles is mentioned I get triggered so I skip over her parts😀

Moving on. If it’s not bashing Nettles they are blatantly ignoring that Rhaena and Baela are Daemon’s daughters and his only daughters. They’ll literally draw a million and one pictures of lizard baby (that’s what I’m calling it, cause again, these people don’t deserve respect) and pretend like it ever drew breath and that it is his only daughter🙃 Or my personal favorite which is essentially Daemon is a good father because he didn’t abandon them on the side of the road (where they belong).

They were educated, clothed, and fed, children don’t need affection, stop complaining. The fandom loves Rhaena and Baela🙃. No one cares about poor Rhaenyra and her boys(who Daemon sees as his real children cause they share the same skin color🙃). That’s why I draw, write, and gif for these poor neglected souls and completely leave out the black ingrates, I mean Rhaena and Baela😅

Finally Mysaria. Oh, Mysaria, I’ve got my own problems with her, but yeah they do bash her by pinning all of Rhaenyra’s psycho deeds on her(so much for your girl being a queen who has "agency"🙃).

Like yeah, she’s not innocent, but she’s not the only one who isn’t innocent, and while I definitely don’t think Daemon was ever that in love with her given how quickly he was willing to call her a wh*re, it hasn’t escaped my notice that the only reason why she isn’t that much of a focus is because they do regulate her to just a wh*re 🙃

They hate Rhea too and try to make her into a groomer to justify Daemon murdering her, but we aren’t going to get into that because we are talking about how this fandom treats the non-white women of Daemon’s life.

Look, I could go on and on, but this ship literally attracts the most racist, white supremacist-leaning, self-hating fans(yes there are Black and other non-white fans who will literally throw their own under a bus for this ship🤦🏽‍♀️), and anti-Black fans by the boat load. And the thing is, they all hide behind “feminism” when called out for it🤣🤣🤣

Yeah, you can ship what you want, but it’s pretty obvious at this point it’s beyond shipping. If you are literally bashing every single woman and girl (especially the non-white women/girls) besides Rhaenyra in Daemon’s life then dude there is something wrong here.

They definitely aren’t Daemon fans(hell he probably has about as many actual fans as Nettles does🤦🏽‍♀️). They are Rhaenyra self-inserters who are pissed off that their ship is on borrowed time and “their man” is about to “leave” their self-insert in the dust for gasp 😱 a black woman so they are taking all the shots they can to feel better about this Titanic ship 🤷🏽‍♀️

#hotd ask #this is my call out post #laena velaryon #nettles #mysaria #rhaena targaryen #baela targaryen #from trying to ignore that nettles exists to trying to race bend nettles 🤦🏽‍♀️ #this fandom is f*cking pathetic and obsessed #hotd racism #fandom racism #fandom misogynoir #just as racist as their psychotic fave 🤷🏽‍♀️ #in honor of the Queen Charlotte mini-series I manifest that Rhaenyra gets the Violets mom treatment 🙌🏽 #bncommentary #anti dumbnyra stans

[spunsugarmusings]

“35MM: A Musical Exhibition” Starter Sentences (Part 2)

Part 2 of sentence starters from the musical 35MM: A Musical Exhibition. Change pronouns as necessary! TW for mentions of violence, murder, abuse, religion, and dying.

Leave Luanne

"Her arm's done broke, hung limp like yolk."

"Why don't you march out that door?"

"Ever since he got him laid off, his sanity just made off."

"He was never nice, but now he's cruel."

"If you walk out that door, his truck will be gunning for you."

"You got heart where you should've had brains."

"Someone's howling, screams like sighing with battered breath."

"Months of such conditions turn laymen to logicians."

"You got a life left to live, in a house hanging off the golden coast."

"You won't forget nor forgive."

"She drowned herself in the swamp in wild despair."

"He thinks he used to love her."

"Hell sent you back here for more, cause ain't no one ever loved you!"

"I'm here to settle a score."

"Praise be, amen!"

Mama Let Me In

"Mama, let me in!"

"Why do you hate me and call me a sin?"

"Don't shut me out!"

"Don't you hear me bang and shout?"

"Blessed be the baby who cries in the night."

Why Must We Tell Them Why

"Why must we tell them why?"

"Some require an explanation for why we make the things we make."

"Why excuse each deviation?"

"Think, and you'll miss it."

"Let's defy their forms and fixtures, not playing by their rules of thumb."

"Make something dumb; make them see where we're coming from."

"Who's to say what it ought to be?

Twisted Teeth

"I met my mister as I night-walked in the park."

"Love those twisted teeth."

"But I bet you're gentle."

"All of our friends say we look nearly like twins."

"Fill me up with your love."

"He fits in my family like I fit in his coven."

"They come into our bed, but they never escape."

"We suck them all dry."

"He's my mister forever, I'm forever his wife."

"Ain't no doors get locked, ain't no secrets get hid."

"I'd die for my mister."

"In truth, die I did."

Hemming and Hawing

"She wouldn't pull away like you did today."

"She wouldn't pitch a fit, wouldn't bitch a bit when I leave her alone with my friends."

"You're so not perfect, let me count the ways."

"I'm gonna leave you one of these days."

"Am I getting bored? I just wanna be adored?"

"Is it you? Is it me? Is it us?"

"I used to plan us out, used to have no doubt."

"We'd be married and happy for life!"

"We used to be perfect in so many ways."

"I don't wanna leave you, don't wanna lose you."

"Bring us back to our better days."

"I want the plans we were drawing to come true."

"I hate you, heart."

Cut You A Piece

"So of course they fell in love."

"Looking back, it was the right thing to say."

"I cut you a piece of me."

"Where you go I will go, too."

"I am now a part of you."

"His life was scattered, and soon was her ash."

"I lost my life when I lost you."

"When you love someone so much, to lose them is to never recover."

"You've given a part of your being to them, and when they go you can never have it back."

"Warming your hand in mine fills me with terror, that I will lose you today, or tomorrow, in two years, or seventy."

"When even the earth has numbered days, I can give you just one thing that stays."

"Cut me a piece of you."

"From now on, I'm half a soul."

"Without you, I can't be whole."

"Where you go, that's where I'll be."

"Oh, you are the start of me."

The Ballad of Sara Berry

"Down on your knees before the queen!"

"That girl had everything, 'til hiccup and hitch."

"Life is a prom."

"I know you won't disappoint me and mom."

"You thirst for blood from the roses in hand."

"She tossed her squad, her clique, her boyfriend behind."

"Her BFF's declared her socially dead."

"Why be so calm?"

"There's just no future for a princess at prom!"

"You spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance, as they crown you queen of High School Land!"

"There's seven reasons this crown's not good as got!"

"You got their blood on the roses in hand."

"At least in your head, you're queen of High School Land."

"Oh, pity the dead."

Finale

"Time stops by a photograph."

"It's not right, it's not wrong."

"It's what's inside."

"Hold!"

#starter sentences #rp meme #askbox meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #ask box meme #sentence starters #ask meme #starter prompt #35 mm a musical exhibition

[indecentpause]

Find the Word Tag

jumping on an open tag from @spacetimewraithwrites to find mark, make, miss, morning, more, minute

cw: mental illness discussion (adhd), dead body, murder mention, drug mention, food

mark:

“So, the room--” you start, but he interrupts.

“ADHD or autism?” he asks.

You freeze.

“What?” You stammer as it comes out.

Josselin straightens his neck and brightens. “Or are you comorbid? I’m comorbid.”

“ADHD,” you have to murmur, because he just sat down and you’ve barely said a word, so how could he know? “How--?” you start to ask, but he interrupts again.

“You’ve got a spinner ring on your left pointer finger and you’ve been tapping it against your cup and your straw has bite marks, probably stimming, yeah?” He leans to the side and gestures to your pocket. “And you’ve got a fidget cube in there, right? I can see the outline under the fabric. Most neurotypical people don’t carry more than one stim toy on them at a time, if any at all.”

make:

“How many apartments are there here?” you ask, as you pull into the parking lot. “It looks like it’s mostly businesses.”

“It is,” Josselin says, “but all the spaces above them are apartments. That’s why I’m B, I’m the second floor.”

“Ah.”

You pull into the space and turn the car off. Josselin jumps out of the car, clearly thrilled to be here with you, and he pulls his mask back up over his nose. You do the same.

You’re a little slower, wobbly on your bad ankle, but you recover quickly. When you attach your keys to your bag, you make sure they fall on the inside this time, and you’re very, very aware of how much you want to toy with your spinner ring, when usually it’s just instinct, it doesn’t cross your mind at all.

Josselin pauses near the back door, which leads into a stairwell.

“Can you do stairs?” he asks gently. “I didn’t even think about that. I’m so sorry. We don’t have an elevator.”

“Is there a handrail?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’m fine.”

miss:

The Inspector squints at you, not rudely, just. Thinking. “Why are you here?” he finally asks.

“Oh, uh, I was the ride,” you say. You thumb back at your car. “I can stay here if--”

“Nonsense!” Josselin cries. The two of you follow the Inspector back to his squad car. He digs out a second mask and glove and a container of Vicks. Oh, man, Josselin did say she went missing a week ago. The body must have been here a while.

You switch out your masks and pull on the glove. You’ve been out of work a few months but you’ll remember this drill for the rest of your life. You swipe your gloved finger in the gloop and smear some under your nose, that familiar, sickening menthol smell, then hand it to Josselin to do the same.

“Oh! You were a paramedic, weren’t you?” Josselin asks, eyebrows up.

“Yeah. Some things you don’t forget.”

morning:

“What did you find?” you can’t help but ask. You peer past his arm to see the files spread out on the table, but the print is small, and you can’t read it from where you sit. Half of the other stuff that was on it this morning is now on the floor.

“You’re right,” Josselin says through a mouthful of noodles. “She was a student at that university. Everyone who knows her, friends, family, teachers, they all say she was a straight-A student heavily involved in extracurriculars, and we both know that doesn’t mean she didn’t use drugs, but it’s more unlikely. We tracked down some of her friends and they all said if she was using, they didn’t know anything about it, and she never showed signs of drug abuse.”

“But the stuff on the costume’s foot was drugs?”

“Cocaine and fentanyl.”

“Fentanyl?” you repeat.

more:

“She was a tricky one, because of how much her skin had deteriorated, but her insides were mostly okay. Toxicology found heroin.”

“An overdose?” He pulls a notepad and pen out of his bag, poised to take notes.

Sara tilts her head back and forth. “That’s what they want me to say. There was enough to kill her, but I think there was more to it than that.”

“Why would they want to say that if they’re not sure?” you ask hesitantly.

Sara turns to you as Josselin starts to look at the body again.

“It’s a neat and easy wrapup,” she says.

“Did Inspector Montague accept this?” Josselin’s eyes are wide with surprise. “Usually he’s so much more thorough.”

minute:

There are so many lines at the courthouse. You accidentally stand in the wrong one for forty-five minutes, only to be told you need to be three lines down. Then they send you to a different office. But finally, you get the papers, and you move to the side to get them filled out. It takes some time and is pretty confusing, but Josselin walks you through it and finally, a few hours later, it’s done and filed. You still have to get the papers served and go to your court date, but you’ve got the process started, and it’s already a huge weight off your chest.

When you get back to the car and pay the exorbitant parking fees, and start heading home, and listen to more Disney soundtracks, Josselin asks, gently, “Hey, are you hungry? I know we had pizza not long ago, but. Java Thai makes some awesome fried corn cakes.”

tagging @sleepy-night-child @afoolandathief @sleepyowlwrites (if you want) and anyone else who wants to to find cup, bottle, jar, mug, plate.

#my writing #writeblr #writeblr games #writeblr tag games #find the word #wip #excerpt #the most beautiful puzzle #sheraton academy #sheraton academy au #sara quill #meara ryanne #josselin clearwater #inspector montague #donatien montague

[booksandmore]

a list of reasons why heizou is bruce wayne:

1. they both watched someone they loved die, which then turned into a turning point in their lives

we all know that bruce wayne is famously an orphan who watched his parents get shot down in an alleyway which made him decide to dress up as a bat in his later years, and though heizou went the opposite way and joined law enforcement, he did watch someone he love die and it is the reason he decided to leave his village, fight crime (with his brains) and how he got his vision! also, both cases are connected to theft

2. their purpose for fighting crime

now this probably depends on how you view bruce, but they are both fighting crime for the victims!

heizou says in one of his voice lines: "call me crazy, but when i see something beautiful, i want to keep it that way." And in his character story he says that theft - or sin itself - is something that tainted his friendship with his (dead) friend. Hell, he goes to visit the families of the people he placed in jail!!! In describing a detectives purpose he compares it to how no matter what a doctor does, they cannot change the fact that their patient was once injured. They cannot cure the pain or change the fact that it happened. Heizou wants to scare criminals so that the mention of his name is enough to stop them from committing crime - from hurting someone!

Similarly, if bruce wasn't all about the victims and entirely about the criminals, why does he host charity galas, why did he make the thomas and martha wayne foundation? If all he wanted to do was beat up criminals why did he take in an orphan after orphan after orphan? Why did he give them a home, and a father?

3. they're the criminals boogeyman

"Just as Heizou claims, the most well-known name at the Police Station Jail is not that of any Yoriki, or even that of the General of the Tenryou Commission... But is instead the name of Doushin Shikanoin Heizou.

Here, at least, even the name of the Raiden Shogun herself might be lesser in stature compared to his."

and

"staying close to the front line means that more criminals will be intimidated by the name of Shikanoin Heizou — that's my ultimate goal" No more words need to be said

I feel like i don't rlly need to elaborate on how batman is a boogieman because like. Look at him?? Or just watch that clip from that new justice league cartoon where batman and superman decide to play bad cop and good cop but with bats as the "good cop" and superman as the "bad cop". It's hilarious

4. they prefer to be on the front lines

Bruce is like. Forty?? And he’s out there wrestling with a crocodile hybrid man and heizou literally should have been promoted ages ago but, pulling out the quote again, "staying close to the front line means that more criminals will be intimidated by the name of Shikanoin Heizou — that's my ultimate goal"

5. everybody hates them

Have you listened to the other characters voice lines about heizou?? Thoma says "he's hard to get along with" and i won't even start with sara. I’m pretty sure only ayaka and kazuha have something nice to say about him

And bruce! Who can blame his colleagues for being a little wary of the guy who wrote down his very own guide on taking them down? Even his kids (understandably) get tired of his bullshit! Alfred has been sassing him since he put on the costume. Maybe even before.

They do things very differently than how everyone else does - this even led to heizou leaving sango and joining the tenryo commission! They do things in their own way and expect everyone to be fine with it or at least go along and find it baffling or annoying when people don't. The attitude in heizou's voice when he says how sara reacts to his "occasional unexplained absences". Bruce has plans on how to take down his colleagues and only friends and thinks they're being naive crybabies when they get offended. It's not very surprising that they don't have many friends.

6. they're both detectives and crazy smart

Bruce isn't called "the world’s greatest detective" for nothing! And the only reason sara hasn't fired and/or murdered heizou by now is because, in her own words, "his investigations produce results"

They're both super smart characters using their brains for a greater cause, which leads to my next and final conclusion:

7. they're both pursuing the impossible

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you cannot reach perfection, and there will always be criminals and people getting hurt. Bruce and heizou are smart - smarter than most people, they have to know it's all completely futile

But they keep doing it anyway.

It's impossible. Maybe even useless. They keep trying anyway. I mean, bruce is older and he's poured god knows how much money into gotham and despite nothing happening he shows absolutely no sign of stopping and instead keeps making plans that might kill him. He would so have a vision if he was born in Tevyat

And heizou? Maybe part of it is because he’s new to all this crime fighting business and he just hasn't been disillusioned or something, but he was granted a vision. He's solved thousands of cases. He'll solve thousands more. And he wants to - like, he’s so eager to get new cases? He has multiple voice lines on it.

There is just something so admirable about someone pursuing something that is, and seems, completely futile without ever once wavering - and not even for yourself. All of it, just to protect the world at large from the tragedies you've faced and seen. All of it, to protect someone like you yourself weren't. And doing it with your chin held high no matter what happens or what anybody says.

Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk 💕

#posting this one for real because i put in a lot of effort #shikanoin heizou #meta #charchter study #genshin impact #bruce wayne #it is still about him

[imincontrolofwestview]

The Hating Game mob!Tom x mob!reader Part 2

Fast Forward You have been staying with Tom for now 5 months you hate to admit it but your getting dangerously close to him with every day that past. Tonight you are both attending a mob business gathering so your getting ready when Tom knocks. "Can I come in" Your currently sitting in front of the makeup mirror in your bra and underwear. "You can" he walks in and then turns around "You said I could come in" You roll your eyes "You never asked if I was dressed 1 its like a bikini and 2 I need you to help me zip my dress" You stand up and step into your dress. He walks over and your eyes meet while he's zipping your dress. "You look beautiful as always"

You smile "You don't look to bad yourself but" You turn around and start to fix his tie "Did your father never teach you how to tie and tie" Tom frowns "What do you mean" You untie his tie "You made it too big" You start to tie his tie and once your done you look at him "There" he looks at you a little confused. "Where'd you learn how to tie a tie" You smile and touch the necklace you have on then look at it "My father he taught me everything I know one night I was 13 it was my first time going to one of these mob meeting things and I was ready so I went into my parents room where he was getting ready to do his tie and I asked him how in the world could he do it which he chuckled and taught me how to tie a tie so I've done it so many times I could do it in my sleep'

"Did you father give you that necklace" You wipe the tear "Ya before he died" Tom noticed that its a sensitive topic "I'm sorry I didn't-" You look at him "No its ok you were just curious it just when you wake up and go to your parents bedroom to surprise your father with breakfast in bed to find him dead it traumatizes you that is why I use only use knives if I really have to" Tom walks over to you and hugs you which surprised you both "I'm sorry, when I found out I felt so bad because you previously lost your mother and it hurt me knowing you were alone in the house" You look up at Tom "Your the one that sent the chocolate and flowers" Tom smiles "You got them"

"Ya I still have the vase its my favorite vase actually its the one that's in my office I put new roses in them" He nods "I wasn't sure if it was the same one I thought it was" You nod "Yep you ready to go" You grab our hand bag "Yep, you have protection right just because these are supposed to be friendly don't mean they will" You give Tom the really look "Of course" You lift our dress up where your thigh holster with our gun is "Good" he opens the car door for you "You forget not only was I raised in a mob but I also took over my family's mob at 16' you get in and he shuts the door

You guys have been at the party for a while now your drinking our bourbon when you see some girl all over Tom. You roll your eyes, you don't know why it makes you mad Tom isn't yours you aren't his there is nothing going on between you both but a business deal but for some reason when the girl grabs his bicep while laughing flips something in you. You put your drink down and walk over to them you realize its Sara your life long enemy (She's the bitch that slept with your ex husband while you both were still married) "If you'll excuse me I need my date for a second, Sara" She gives you a dirty look "Oh look what the cat drug in"

"I see your still a bitch" she rolls her eyes "Go to hell" You frown "Where do you think I came from?" She walks away and you make a mocking face at her and roll your eyes. Tom laughs "Jealous much" You glare at him "Well excuse me its pretty embarrassing when your supposed to be date is flirting with other woman when we are supposed to be acting like a couple, I guess men in the mob don't understand loyalty much, another bourbon please" The bartender nods and hands you your bourbon then you thank him. "Well if your so jealous would you like to dance" You look at him "You can rot in hell" Tom smirks "With you no thanks!" You roll your eyes.

Later that night your talking to some guy that you should know but dont when Tom comes up to you. "Get lost Travis" Travis walks away you smirk. "Jealous much" He rolls his eyes "Well excuse me its pretty embarrassing when your supposed to be date is flirting with other guys when we are supposed to be acting like a couple, I guess woman in the mob don't understand loyalty much" You scoff. "Dance with me" "Fine Thomas" You both are dancing when someone starts shooting. So you both pull your guns out and everyone's shooting when you see someone try to shoot Tom so you jump in front of him and get shot 5 times. "Y/N!" You pass out.

[beanieman]

Ranking The YTTD Deaths Based Off How Much I Cried (But To Make It Simple I’m Not Counting Any Deaths That Happen After A Character Become A Doll.)

20. Megumi

I don’t feel bad for this one since Megumi was a cop heavily contributing to police corruption. I don’t feel a lot of sympathy for her. 

More Undercut

19. Mr.Policeman 

I do feel bad for him. Mr.Policeman was trying to expose the darkness in the police force, and he had a baby on the way. However I don’t feel a lot towards his death, mainly because we’ve hardly got to know him. He seemed nice enough in the flashbacks, and he seemed to have a good character for trying to expose Megumi and the police force, but I have little emotional investment in him. 

18. Shunsuke’s Victim Video

Honestly Shunsuke cursing out Sara surprised me so much the first time playing, that I wasn’t feeling a lot of sympathy for him. I was more so confused about how he knew Sara.

I feel bad for him because it doesn’t seem like he could have escaped his execution, and in hindsight I’m so sad he died here and Gin didn’t have him around during most of the game. 

17. Mishima

I just didn’t feel a lot towards his death. I still don’t even on replay. I simply think that Mishima had to little time for me to get emotionally invested in him. Also, the more Mishima somehow appears as an AI every chapter the more it takes away the punch of his death. I know I’ll him again soon, many times, so I don’t feel to upset. 

The saddest thing to me about this death is the guilt Nao must’ve felt. The reveal that Nao voted for Mishima is more of a gut punch to me than his death. 

16. Kugie 

I know it’s controversial to rank Kugie’s death sadder than Mishima’s, but as a sibling her death really gets me. I can’t imagine her feelings when she woke up to find her little sister in a life threating situation besides her. 

The sacrifice she made makes me more emotional than Mishima’s on a personal level. Mishima was a lot older than Kugie, meaning he had more time to emotionally grow. Someone in their early thirties in more mature than a 15-16 year old most times. So her sacrifice is more impactful to me than Mishima. 

15. Naomichi 

What I find most sad about his death is the fact that he looses his strong will in his final moments. He goes from cussing ASU-NARO out “Don't screw with me!! God dammit!! / I'm gonna kill you!! All you bastards who set this shit up are dead!!” to begging for help. “Please...I can't move any further...! Stop it... the walls...The walls...” 

Naomichi’s a great character, and it hurts thinking that he likely wouldn’t have wanted his last words to be what they were. In the route he dies after the banquet, he gets a much more determined exit. “ “..You guys... ...I got a request. I don't care about you bringing me back... More important... is getting revenge for them!!”

14. Mai

Her death makes me emotional just for how scary it must be. Your life hangs in the balance of your decision, and staying calm. If Mai stayed calm she might have been able to feel if one gun was heavier compared to the other because it had a bullet on the inside. However, how on Earth was she supposed to be calm in this situation? I know I couldn’t be, and with your collar tightening quickly it gives you little room to think.

Mai’s death is a sad to me because of what her last moment must’ve felt like. 

13. The Real Hinako 

I can’t imagine the pain a middle schooler must have felt in life to be happy that she’s dying. She had such bloody last moments because she thanked her kidnapper for killing her. 

12. Reko/Alice Hanging Death

Alice and Reko’s death is sad in the way that Alice/Reko has been with us for so long. However I felt more shock before the sadness hit. But when the emotions did hit it hit me like a wave. 

I get emotional as well by the bitter sweetness of this death. It hurts so much and I prefer if they survive, at least the siblings can be reunited again, and maybe this time they can repair their relationship. 

11. Hinako 

I hate how her first line is how she doesn’t want to get used as a pawn, only to get used in her final moments by someone who didn’t care even the slightest about her. The fact that Kanna and Sou’s dynamic is a dark mirror to the one Shin and Kanna had makes me even more emotional. 

The only reason it’s not sadder, is because of how sudden this is. It falls into the Reko/Alice hanging death category with me being so surprised it took me a minute to feel sad emotions from it.  

10. Anzu

Hearing Anzu cry out for her Mother at the end, knowing that no one will come save her is heartbreaking. So many characters in this game did/can die young. Anzu’s last words however really show her age.

It’s hard to know that Anzu’s doll gets destroyed no matter what and she’ll never return to the Mother that she spent her last seconds thinking about. 

9. Ranmaru 

Ranmaru saying his life had no meaning but now that he was on death’s door it wasn’t what he wanted hit a little to close to home for me. It was the only death video that made me tear up and see myself in his situation. It’s rough man, 

8. Kai 

Kai’s death speech. Just Kai’s death speech. 

“This is... resistance. Our lives toyed with to our enemy's whims, we are unable to save even a single person... As we die off, this is... my feeble... resistance. But it is one large step... toward counterattack...! It is a step I was able to take... because you bought me time. It is surely... not futile. I entrust them to you...! Our regrets...!! Our hopes...!! I... am satisfied.”

7. Reko

Reko’s death is tragic in the way that she’s staring down a person she’s outgrown. All of her past faults, the flaws she’s grown past, the selfishness that drove her old self to kill. 

If you think about it, Reko dies here because she’s selfless. She goes into the room of lies before anyone else to try and protect the group. If she had been more selfish, like her old self would have been, Reko might have never been killed. However someone else would have taken her place, and that’s an outcome I think Reko wouldn’t have wanted. 

What takes some punch out of her death for me, is that her last words are “A knife?!” Unlike every other character her words don’t have a lot of meaning. Which is frustrating. 

6. Joe

I don’t know what’s worse, Joe’s death, or Sara’s reaction. 

“I love ya Sara” is imprinted into my mind and it haunts me. It’s so hard knowing that Joe knew he was about to die and yet still tried to prioritize Sara’s feelings. 

5. Nao 

Nao’s death is so painful because it’s so unfair. She shouldn’t have had to die after being pulled into the game for no reason and then unfairly traded the card. 

Plus after all she went through with Mishima, to see her die so painfully is rough. Despite how strong Nao was at the end, she still terrified to die, and she fought until the end for her life. 

Knowing that you can save her, but have chosen to let her die after all she’s done for Sara hurts me on an emotional level. 

4. Kanna 

The sound of vines growing through Kanna’s skin will never get out of my mind. This is such a violent death for such a sweet girl who did nothing wrong. All she wanted was to save her brother and she paid such a painful price for it. 

It hurts me so much how she thanks Sara not once, but twice for killing her, before giving her a hug. Kanna was in so much emotional pain before her death, and in this route she never gets a chance to bounce back from her dark mental place. 

The only reason this death isn’t ranked higher, is because I find her death slightly bittersweet. At least she can be safe with Kugie now, I have very similar feelings towards Kanna’s death as I do the logic route Yabusame deaths.  

3. Q-Taro

Q-Taro’s death is so beautifully written, but it pulls at my heart strings. Escpessally after seeing his flashback, and knowing that despite everything he ended up having to give up due to his physically state, just like he almost did pre death game.  

The worst parts for me is that Q-Taro was unable to say goodbye to the people he was sacrificing himself for. He made such a selfless decision, only for no one to know but Mai until after he was already gone.  

2. Alice

What makes me so upset about Alice’s death is how horrific it is. 

Alice is told that his little sister, the person he lives for, is dead. Then he’s thrown her “head” that explodes a hole in him. I don’t think I need to explain how incredibly painful that would be. 

If you don’t do the bongo quest, Alice dies sobbing under the impression that his sister is dead. The emotional pain in his final moments was likely equal or even more than his physical pain. 

If you do the bongo quest, his death is a little better but still devastating. He sees that Reko is still alive, and is able to die with a smile. However it still hurts me seeing Alice sob in despair believing Reko is dead until this moment comes. And the fact that Alice dies on this route looking up to his sister one final time just like he always did in life? That gets to me so badly. 

1. Shin

I have big bias here because Shin is my favorite character, but he’s easily my number one choice. Something about a character dying while going against everything they’ve fought for really gets to me. 

Shin gave up everything to survive, his morals, the bond he could’ve had to the others, his identity, but when it comes down to it, the only thing he couldn’t give up was the one person he came to love in the game. 

Despite all of his struggling, he was okay in giving it all up for Kanna. Much in the same way Kugie did. After days of fear and seeing himself as nothing but a number he died with a smile on his face knowing his sister was cared for and would be protected. 

In his last moments he extended an olive branch to that girl who protected his sister. Despite hating Sara, he couldn’t help but feel grateful, and he gave his despised enemy a gift that ended her long nightmare. 

Shin’s character and death makes me feel so many things. Mainly that I’m grateful that he’s detriment because I couldn’t handle the pain of watching him die every time I play. 

#YTTD #Your Turn To Die #Shin Tsukimi #alice yabusame #Q-Taro Burgerberg #kanna kizuchi #joe tazuna #nao egokoro #reko yabusame #kai satou #Ranmaru Kageyama #anzu kinashi #hinako mishuku #mai tsurugi #naomichi kurumada #kugie kizuchi #kazumi mishima #shunsuke hayasaka #Mr.Policeman #megumi sasahara

[ddarker-dreams]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.

I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.

The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you

1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this

2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.

The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.

3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.

4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.

cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.

i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.

was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.

speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,

"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*

i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.

kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.

KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?

we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...

well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)

kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?

WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.

then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.

then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,

"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."

so on and so forth.

but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.

at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.

anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.

#genshin impact spoilers #answered #Anonymous

[nothing-but-dreamy]

HAUNTED

Pairing: D:BH!CONNOR x HUMAN!READER (gender neutral)

Words: 4.058

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING! mention of suicide; odd behavior; cursing; hurt - comfort;

A/N: Another day - another request...

I really hope you like it! Thanks again for your idea.

Synopsis: You are a Detective of the DPD and had worked many cases with Hank. Until something went utterly wrong. Since then, you get haunted by your past until you see only one last way out. Luckily, Connor is there to help you.

"You know you don't have to do this.", you said serious.

Sara pulled the wire of the bug underneath her shirt before it got taped on her back, "Yes, but I want to. I have to. I owe it to my sister to do this. She shall find peace finally and like the Lieutenant said, me as her twin, I have the best chance to get this bastard. He doesn't know that she's dead. Therefore, I'm your best chance to get the information you need, Detective."

"Detective..."

"Detective."

"Detective, YLN!"

As if awakening from a deep trance like state, you focused back on reality as your name got called out. Haunted by your typical dark memories, you hadn't even noticed where you were. Slowly, you opened your eyes. The owner of the calm male voice stood on the outside of your car, next to the window of the driver seat, and looked concerned at you through the glass.

You blinked several times. The sun, which already fell through your windshield because it stood so high in the morning sky, made you blind for several moments and as you moved, you noticed your aching back and neck from sleeping in the car in an unhealthy position. Obviously, you had knocked yourself out with booze again.

"Detective YLN, my name's Connor. I'm your new partner. I'm the android sent by CyberLi- I got sent from Captain Fowler to meet you. Rather, he sent me to find you because you missed a meeting this morning. And now, he wants to see you.", Connor said and watched you. Even if he had already learned a lot about human behavior from Hank, there were still some mysteries to solve.

Like: why are you sleeping in a car in a position that harms eighty percent of your muscle tissue through soreness and lets your bones and joints burn like fire when you move?

Or: why are you drunk this early in the morning-

"Hey, tin can! Shut the fuck up!", you shouted.

Connor stared at you in shock as he realized that he had asked the questions out loud instead of just thinking about them. A habit he started with as Hank had left the DPD to retire finally, "I'm sorry, Detective. I haven't notice-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... what do you want, Carlos?", you asked, searching for your flask you couldn't find.

"My name's Connor, Detective. And as I said, Captain Fowl-"

"Oh, yeah... the meeting... right. Get in the car.", you ordered and even if Connor was sure that it wasn't a good idea for you to drive in the state you were, he also knew that any kind of discussion would lead to nowhere. He still knew that from his time with Hank.

**

Twenty minutes later, for a way that only took ten minutes usually, you, followed by Connor, entered the DPD which was crowded with androids, policemen and people who were complaining about some uninteresting nonsense. You made your way through all these people, trying to dodge as many colleagues as you could - but of course, one of them caught you. Like always.

"Hey, YN! This is the DPD and not some bar. You won't find any kind of booze around here."

"Just shut the fuck up, Reed! Or otherwise, I will tell everyone that you own some pair of bright pink panties- oh, upsi! My bad!", you called out, gleaming at him with a smirk. Everyone started to laugh.

Gavin stared at you with a hate-filled glance, he was fuming, "Fuck you!", he muttered.

"Oh, sweet. That's all you got, Reed?", you shot back with a grin.

But before Gavin could respond to anything, Captain Fowler stepped out of his office, "Detective YLN! In my office!"

"And? Who's laughing now?", Gavin said with a smirk and winked at you before he left the DPD to do some work.

Connor closed the door of the office behind him as you were inside. You walked over to the Captain's desk to sit down in one of the chairs but even without looking up you sensed the anger radiating from your boss. It was tangible in the air. Without asking, you took one of the fresh glasses on Fowler's desk to throw an aspirin into it. Then, you pulled out the flask you had found finally to fill the glass with a transparent liquid.

Fowler watched you, half shocked and half concerned, "What are you doing?"

"Taking an aspirin, Sir. I have a murderous headache."

"And what was in the flask if I may ask?"

"Vo- uhm... water. Just water, Sir.", you answered before you gulped down the bubbling mixture.

Fowler looked from you at Connor who also seemed to be concerned about the fact that you had mixed pharmaceuticals with alcohol before the Captain looked back at you, "Where have you been this morning? We had a meeting."

You put the empty glass back on the desk, "Oh, yeah... the meeting. I'm sorry, Sir. I was on observation and obviously, I lost track of time.", you explained, leaning back in the chair, waiting for the aspirin and ‘water’ to do its magic.

"Observation, huh? For what case? What's the file number?", Fowler asked, leaning back in his own seat, folding his hands in front of him while waiting for your answer.

"Oh, yeah... the file number. One moment, Sir-"

Fowler slammed his plane hand on the desk's surface that you were jumping in your seat, "Cut this shit, god dammit! You have no file number because you have no current case, Detective! Let me guess, Connor had found you sleeping in your car, right? How many nights had it been this time?"

You kept eye contact but you gave him no answer. You just gritted your teeth and pressed your jaws together.

Fowler sighed, "Listen, YN, you're a great Detective but since the things with Sara happened-"

"No!", you called out, jumping from your chair and stopping the Captain mid-sentence with your sudden outburst, "We won't talk about this!", you said serious before you turned around to let your glance roam through the office with all the busy people, "Alright, Sir. What's the matter with the android? Monitoring what I do and what I don't do?"

"Connor is the former partner of Hank-"

"Oh and now, Hank doesn't want to play with it anymore so you give it to the next screwed up cop you can find?", you asked, turning around to look at Connor with his fancy clothes and neat hairstyle before you looked back at the Captain.

"Hank retired two weeks ago. I thought you knew that.", Fowler said and looked even more concerned at you.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't get invited to any funny parties nor did I got a notification. But who cares. So, the android's with me then? How long?", you asked emotionlessly.

"It's your partner now. Brief it into your cases-"

You stepped forward, aiming for the door, "Cases, Sir? What cases? You already said I have none.", you pointed out while leaving the office.

Fowler watched after you, not amused about your unpredictable behavior and the fact that you were carrying a gun.

"Sir?", Connor asked and brought the Captain back from his thoughts.

"Yeah... Listen... as you can see YN has a few problems. They used to be a good cop in the past until one of the cases they and Hank had operated went wrong. The anniversary is in two days and I fear... well...", Captain Fowler stopped himself, watching you grabbing a coffee from the kitchen.

"I will keep an eye on them.", Connor said and left the office as well.

*

Connor was surprised how carelessly you were in managing your cases - even if it were just a few. There was nothing special or difficult and yet, you weren't able to file the cases properly, "Detective, this report here, I'm not sure to which case it belongs.", Connor asked as he had read an interview of a woman who had reported her dog as missing. Added to that, the interview was part of a file about an armed theft in the heart of the city. There was no connection at all to these two cases.

Without looking up, you took a folder from your desk to hand it over to Connor, "Yeah...here. That's the case you're searching for."

Connor took the case and skimmed through the pages several times before he looked at you, frowning, "Detective, this is a file about a stolen android.", he pointed out.

"Yeah, just ... put the page in this file. I'm sure it will be right.", you said, ignoring the android's expression.

"Detective, I'm not sure-"

"Excuse me, I need some more coffee.", you cut him off, standing up to aim for the kitchen with your mug in your hands.

"And I thought Hank was challenging.", Connor whispered under his breath and shook his head while he still tried to figure out which pages were parts of which cases.

"You're a murderer, Detective! That you still think yourself as worthy enough to call yourself a cop is way out of my understanding!", a jarring, female voice echoed through the office and drew the attention of everyone to her and to the person that stood in front of her - you.

Connor craned his head to watch the scene like everyone else did. But while the attention of the others was because of curiosity and spitefulness, Connor watched you and your bodily reaction to the woman's accusations. You stood there like a timid fawn. The cockiness you presented before seemed to be gone completely. Your heart rate increased, you were shaking and your eyes became big as if you were intimidated by the woman in front of you. The woman stepped even closer and Connor watched, surprised, that you stayed where you were. Easily, you could have escaped the unknown woman and yet you stayed rooted to the spot.

"Because of you I lost both of my daughters! I already have lost the one and yet, you thought it would be fair to take the other away from me as well!", the woman screamed erratic, tears were already running down her cheeks but she was still not able to stop herself and no one else was brave enough to step into the scene, "You and your partner will pay for what you have done! You will burn in hell for that!"

"Chris! Escort Mrs. Mason into my office!", Captain Fowler ordered and stopped the woman's outburst even if it was a bit too late.

Connor saw tears building in the corners of your eyes. Quickly, your glance scanned the area but the only way you could find was the way out. You aimed for the precinct's main entrance to leave the building in a hurry. Connor followed you. He ran through the office and left the building as well but as he stepped onto the pavement you were nowhere to be seen. Like a ghost, you had vanished between all the other pedestrians.

**

Hank had just taken a new beer to watch the next half of the Detroit Gears game as someone rang his doorbell. In the penetrant way how this person used his doorbell and the way how Sumo reacted, Hank knew who the visitor was, "Connor, hey. What are you doing here? It's a bit too early to go for a walk with Sumo.", the older man said but he already saw that something else was bothering the android.

"Yeah, actually, I'm not here because of Sumo.", Connor said.

Hank let him in and Connor came straight to the point that kept him busy, "One year ago, you and Detective YLN had a case together. But something went wrong. What exactly happened? I couldn't find the case file."

Hank frowned, "Why do you ask?"

"Captain Fowler teamed me up with Detective YLN because of the anniversary of this case. He's concerned about the instability of their constitution."

Hank shook his head. He missed working with the android but he didn't miss the long-winded explanations of him. Then, suddenly, he became serious again, "Instability, huh?"

"Yes. They seem to be so unpredictable in their behavior that Captain Fowler fears something worse will happen because the anniversary would be in two days. I ... I found them this morning sleeping in their car.", Connor explained with a frown.

Hank raised his brows in surprise and at the same time, he felt worried, "YN and I, we... In the past, we worked together on some cases. Well, that changed with our last case. Lynn and Sara Mason.", he said slowly, feeling the pain stinging his heart as he remembered what had happened one year ago.

"Why couldn't I find much about it in the archives of the DPD?"

Hank stood up from the couch, walking over to the book shelf to pull something out that was hidden between his several jazz vinyl. He walked back to Connor, offering the android the case file but stopped as Connor was grabbing for it, "You just can find the basics of this case because I kept it printed. Some wounds are so deep, it's better if not everyone is able to find a tool to reopen them all over again.", he said and gave Connor the file finally.

***

The next day, Connor drove again to your place and was happy to see that you weren't sleeping in your car again. As he knocked at your door, you opened him with a smile. You had taken a shower, your hair was still damp and your clothes were all fresh and clean. Connor noticed that you weren't accompanied by the scent of alcohol and he even couldn't smell anything in your breath as you talked with him.

"I... I want to apologize, Connor. Our start yesterday wasn't the best. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'm sure we will make a great team."

Connor knew you just one day, not enough to understand a person completely, and yet he had the strange feeling of something going on that occupied his mind suddenly by the way you acted.

"Oh, can you call a taxi?", you asked while sipping on your coffee.

"What happened to your car, Detective?", Connor asked surprised while ordering the vehicle.

You smiled at him, "Oh, I sold it. I will have no use of it anymore. And please, call me YN."

To Connor's surprise, your behavior stayed kinda strange even if he couldn't say what it was exactly. You and Connor went early to the DPD. On your way in, you talked with colleagues. You joked with Chris and as Gavin entered the kitchen, you pressed a cup of coffee into the Detective's hand which left him utterly confused.

Gavin stopped Connor by stepping into his way, "Hey, tin can. Is this coffee drugged or what is going on here?"

In the way Gavin looked at Connor, the android noticed real unease, "No, Detective. The coffee is not drugged or anything. I guess others would call it 'tasty'. You can drink it.", he said but looked frowning at you. As Connor left Gavin, the green-eyed man was still sniffing suspiciously on the hot liquid as if the mug might contain acid instead of his most favorite beverage.

Connor went back to the desk opposite of yours and was surprised to see how you cleared out the different pages of the case files. Several small piles were lying in front of you while you tried to bring them into the right order and to collate them.

Later that day, Connor was puzzled as you went to the Captain to apologize to him as well as you had done it with Connor in the beginning of the day. You apologized for your behavior the day before and of all the past weeks, "I know I did a few things wrong, Captain. But I promise to change that in the future. In fact, the change will happen soon and then, everyone will be pleased with me again.", you said before you took your jacket to leave the precinct.

Connor looked at the Captain and saw on the man's face what he was thinking: strange.

‘Strange’ was the only word Connor could find to describe your work day even although you were acting practically perfect. You were nice. You had sorted your cases. You had apologized for your behavior. And yet, something was odd. Something felt wrong. Connor sensed that something was ... going on. But he couldn't put his finger on it. So, out of instinct, Connor followed you and drove to your place with a taxi.

As he knocked at your door, you opened, smiling at him and dressed in a bathrobe, "Oh, Connor, hey. What is it? I just wanted to take a bath."

Surprised, Connor looked at you. He was sure you had taken a shower this morning so there was no need to take a bath and then, he reminded himself that he still had not much knowledge about humans and their several oddities, "Yeah, I ... I just wanted to ask if everything is alright, Detective.", he said honestly.

You smiled at him, "Of course, Connor. Everything is more than alright. I just need some time to relax and tomorrow, everything will make sense to you and the others. Thanks for checking on me, that means a lot to me. Goodnight.", you said and closed the door.

Connor stared at your closed door for several moments before he stepped slowly back to walk down the hallway. Since he turned deviant, Connor's systems needed a bit longer to process information - not much, it were just seconds, but sometimes that could be more than enough.

As Connor was still connecting the different dots and hints you had spread the whole day, Hank called him, "Connor! Where are you?"

"I'm leaving YN's place. They want to take a bath. Why? What's the matter?", Connor asked as he sensed the slightly concerned undertone in Hank's voice.

"You have to go back, Connor! Go back to them! YN hates to bath!", Hank demanded worried.

Even if Connor was confused, he turned around, walking back the way to your apartment, "Hank?"

"I just got a letter from YN. It got brought by a delivery man. It's a handwritten suicide letter. Hurry and stop them!", Hank ordered.

Connor ended the call, hurried down the corridor and without knocking, he broke down the door of your apartment. Quickly, Connor ran through your small apartment, already seeing the door of your bathroom ajar. He stormed into the room and the second his eyes landed on you lying in the bathtub with the razor blade between your fingers, he was by your side, taking the blade away to throw it into a far corner before you could even cut. Slowly but demanding, Connor dragged you out of the water, took a towel and laid it around your shaking frame because you already were ice cold. Obviously, you had filled the bathtub with cold water to support a fast sleep while your blood would have drained from your body after the cut.

You were screaming and yelling for Connor to let go of you. You demanded the razor back and that he should leave your apartment but Connor ignored everything. You punched against his chest with your fists but Connor stayed unimpressed, determined to save your life. With a strong grip, he wrapped you into the towel and also laid the bathrobe around your shoulders before he guided you out of the bathroom. You were still struggling in Connor's arms to get free. All you wanted was to end what you had started. Desperate, hot tears were running down your cheeks as you were crying violently about the fact that you were still alive. Alive and alone with the memories which were still haunting you like mean demons.

Connor placed you on the couch, sitting next to you and wrapping his arms around your frame to give you even more support and comfort while you cried against his chest, "Please, just let me die...", you cried out between two heavy sobs.

"No, Detective. I have to refuse your request."

"Cut this 'Detective' shit. Just call me YN, god damnit.", you whimpered helplessly because now, everything was just worse than you had expected. You had planned everything and yet, the android was there to destroy your neatly made plans, "What are you even doing here, Connor?"

"Hank received your letter and called me right on time."

You leant closer against Connor's chest with closed eyes, seeking the android’s presence while cursing about yourself, "Hell, the letter. I should have changed the delivery time to a later one. Then, everything would be over. All the pain. All the guilt. All the haunting.", you breathed with a sad voice.

Connor tightened the embrace around you even more, "It's about Sara Mason and her sister, isn't it?", he whispered softly, placing his chin on top of your head to enclose you even more.

You nodded, not surprised that Connor already knew it, "Yeah... it's my fault that Sara died. It's my fault that her mother lost both daughters.", you cried out, clawing into Connor's white shirt with your fingers.

"Well, I read the file. Sara came up with the idea to get bugged and to infiltrate the drug dealer who had killed her sister Lynn. I mean, the idea was good. It was just bad luck that the dealer already knew about Lynn's death and looked right through the façade you and Hank had planned.", Connor said softly. To calm you even more, he stroked soothingly over your back with his hands.

You leant back to look into the android's face and for the first time, you noticed the incredibly intense, brown color of his soft eyes, "Y-you don't understand. Not even Hank knew that but Sara didn't come up with the idea to get bugged on her own. I dropped this idea as I was alone with her and manipulated her to think it was her own idea. I mean, how evil can someone be to do this, huh?", you asked, closing your eyes about this painful memory.

Connor cupped your face, knowing that humans needed physical contact to feel secure and safe and he wanted to provide you both as well as he could. He was glad to see that you opened your eyes again and that you stayed where you were, "Listen, neither you nor Hank nor someone else could have known every single possibility in this case. The idea was good. The Captain said the same in his official statement. But ... Look, kid, sometimes bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it.", he said softly.

Through a sob of new tears because Connor was the first for a very long time that was caring about you this much, you chuckled low, "Have you... did you just quote the Lion King to cheer me up?"

Connor looked slightly caught with a sheepishly smile playing around his lips, "Yeah... Hank said I should improve my knowledge about pop culture. I binge watched all the Disney movies I could find last week. I thought this quote was suitable... Or did I have done it wrong?"

You chuckled a bit more about his innocence and strong will to help you, "No, it was pretty good. Thanks for... you know... thanks for being here with me.", you whispered low, feeling your cheeks reddening.

Connor leant back on your couch, bringing you close to his chest so you could snuggle against him, "I'm your partner now, YN. And partners are looking out for each other. You can count on me no matter what it is.", he said softly and after five minutes where he just stroked comforting over your back, he noticed your even breathing that told him that you had fallen asleep. Hank called and without making too much noise, Connor briefed his former partner that you were alright.

You were still alive. You still had a long way to go to leave your haunting ghosts behind but Connor was sure you would make it. You were strong enough to do it - and he would be by your side to support you as promised.

#detroit become human imagines #detroit become human connor #rk800 x reader #dbh connor x reader #connor #detroit connor #connor rk800 #dbh connor #rk800 #detroit rk800 #dbh rk800 #rk800connor #detroit become human rk800 #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader #hurt comfort

[cobrakaisb]

hi bestie! i’ve had this idea for a while, but i haven’t seen it. can you do like a head cannon of what miguel, robby, and eli/hawk would be like as an older brother? it can be totally based off what you think :) thank you <3

of course! sorry it took me a while but i needed to to be perfect. i also added two bonus boys at the end (hope you don’t mind). little note: i wrote this with a fem reader in mind because of the mentions of periods. 

Having the Cobra Kai boys as older brothers

miguel:

you and miguel are so close

the age difference does not affect him at all

he is very protective of you before cobra kai

but once he joins cobra kai that over protectiveness 📈📈📈

let’s just say that this kid is bothering you

miguel definitely notices and scares them off

you act annoyed about it, but you’re highkey grateful that he did that

“my brother is the all valley champ so back the fuck off”

you were so excited for him at the all valley

you wore one of his cobra kai shirts and everything

miguel is so supportive of whatever extra curricular you do

karate? yes he stans, theater? you bet he’s at all your shows, dance? you know he’s bringing you some flowers, another sport? he’s at every game cheering for you

miguel knows about periods, and he has no shame in buying you tampons/pads

“hey y/n, i noticed you were running low so i got you some more” 🥺🥺 

you wear his hoodies all the time

they are very big on you, but very comfy

you help him with sam

“i punched her in the face” “what why?”

“y/n what do you think about this?” “it looks great miguel. sam will love it”

when he dates tory you're a little on edge about it

“miguel, weren’t you like trying to win sam back two days ago?” “i like tory now” “okayy” 

johnny loves you as much as he loves miguel

y’all hang out together

his friends are your friends and vice versa

your friends definitely think that miguel is cute but “eww that’s my brother”

when miguel is in the coma you blame johnny

“he showed mercy because of you! you did this!”

but then you cry into his chest

when miguel wakes up you’re at school

you don’t find out until after school when carmen picks you up

you hug him so tight, rambling about how much you love him

“i love you too y/n now get off me”

you can’t keep up with his love life

“y/n i’m with sam again” “what?” 

overall your bond is amazing and you couldn’t ask for a better brother

robby:

you and robby both live with your mother (because we aren’t basic here)

you’re the odd one out (your mom does drugs and robby sells them)

“you got caught with molly? i thought you and sara were hooking up?” “the drug y/n”

when robby starts being friends with those punk kids, the two of you start to drift

you actually go to school, unlike him

“just skip y/n” “no robby”

it isn’t until he gets back on track because of daniel that you two start getting close again

“i’m gonna get back on track y/n i promise” and you believe him

you go to the skatepark with him

he skates while you read or draw or skate (whatever you’re into tbh)

when you’re on your period robby will buy you stuff, but he doesn’t like to

he feels so awkward about it

“um are these the right ones?” “yes thank you”

robby gives the best hugs (idk why he just does)

i feel like robby is also really good at reading emotions

like he knows when you’ve had a bad day at school or when you’re stressed about something

he also knows how to cheer you up :)))

“i know you did not just eat cereal with water???” “and what about it?”

when your mom comes back after being gone for days robby pulls you behind him

because he really doesn’t want you to be exposed to that

you cry into robby’s chest once she leaves

“why can’t she just be our mom?”

when daniel asks robby to move in with him he denies

but quickly explains that he can’t leave you

daniel tells robby that you can come too

“thanks for helping my brother mr.larusso, i really appreciate it”

you definitely walk in on robby and sam making out at some point

“hey robby- oh my god i’m so sorry” slaps hand over eyes and immediately leaves the room

when robby pushes miguel off the balcony it's the first time you’re genuinely scared of him

you visit him in jail, but it takes awhile for you to go

“i’m sorry y/n” “i know robby”

you just understand each other

when robby joins cobra kai he tries to get you in too

you agree to one lesson, and know it’s not for you

you have many arguments about this

“he’s brainwashing you!” “he knows what’s best for me, for us!”

robby feels so betrayed when he finds out you’re staying with johnny

the two of you definitely drift after that, but you find your way back to each other, you always do

eli/hawk:

okay so before he flips the script you defend eli, no matter what

you cry with him about the bullies and definitely try to fight kyler more than once

you wear his sweaters (fight me on it)

you encourage him to do karate

when he flips the script you’re very happy for him he finally feels confident in himself and you love that for him

now the roles are reversed

hawk protects you now

no one even dares to look at you because they are scared of him

i feel like he has a tattoo for you, whether that's your name or your favorite flower idk but he gets one for you

“um wow okay we’re doing that now” “do you like it or not?” “yeah but i wasn’t expecting it”

sometimes he’ll let you pick his hair color “how about purple” “maybe” 😉

he definitely flirts with your friends “hello ladies!” “hi hawk!” “get out!”

you’re the only one that is allowed to call him eli

“eli i need ten dollars?” “for what?” “a snack” *hands over the money*

“eli can i have your sweatshirt? i’m cold” “yeah take it”

“i can’t, me and eli are going to the movies today”

one day you’re sitting with him and his minions (you refuse to call them friends) at lunch

“so eli” -one of the cobra kais “shut the fuck up! you can’t call him that!” -you

hawk has a proud brother moment

anything that you do hawk is like “fuck yeah that’s my sibling!”

his friends are not allowed to look at you, talk to you, have a crush on you, or even think about you

“woah dude she’s hot” “that’s my fucking sister! stay away from her!”

“eli who’s your friend-” “NO!” 

as eli he will buy you period products but is very shy about it

as hawk he will not be caught dead in that isle of cvs

“eli i need them!” “i don’t care! i’ll drive you there and you can run in and get them”

when hawk breaks demetri’s arm you don't speak to him for weeks

you confront him about his new behavior

“this is who i am!” “no it’s not! you’re not my brother!” 

you’re crying and then storm off to your room

that breaks him

is highkey the start of his redemption

when he’s at the fight at the larusso house, and he sees demetri about to get his arm broken, he thinks of your words: “you're not my brother!”

literally motivates him to fix things

you see hawk and demitri and just know that your brother is back

you hug him so tight

“you were right y/n. i’m sorry” “of course i was. i’m always right” “gee thanks” “love you”  

bonus demetri:

he is a nerd, you are a nerd

the two of you watch star wars, marvel, harry potter, etc. together 

“daddy anakin” “please shut the fuck up”

you want to punch him in the face because he is so sarcastic 

it gets on your nerves 

bust out laughing when johnny makes fun of his pi shirt 

“stop laughing” “if it’s funny i'm gonna laugh”

even though you’re a nerd you’re cool 

like you have a lot of friends in your grade 

“demetri if i don’t talk to you at the halloween party that’s why” gestures to his costume 

listen to his rants about how eli’s changed 

you try to give him advice, but it doesn’t work out

so proud of him when he joins miyagi-do

“i'm glad you’re stepping out of your comfort zone” 

demetri tries to get you to join miyagi-do

if you do join great more sibling bonding

if you don’t join no biggie y’all are still besties

y’all go to the comic book store together

its sibling bonding time

you threaten to fight hawk after the laser tag thing 

��hey asshole you leave my brother alone!” 

you sign his cast first

you definitely write some inside joke that only the two of you understand

you see him kissing yas and do a whole 🤮

“so you dating yas?” “idk why” “just checking”

very obvious about your distaste for her

when him and hawk become friends again you’re very wary

“he broke your arm” “he apologized” “he broke your arm!!!”

eventually you and hawk are on semi decent terms

“demetri forgave you and that’s fine but i’m still not over it”

your relationship = the perfect mix of love and teasing  

bonus bonus king bert 🙌🏻:

you are older than him by like a year

but you’re still besties for life 

you’re very proud of him when he joins cobra kai

“im joining a karate dojo” “period pop off”

you always ruffle his hair 

cheer for him at the all valley

“yeah bert!”

but also like you can’t watch 

when he gets eliminated you cringe 

he’s sad about it 

“i just wanted to impress you” “im very impressed bert, you did great” 

your opinion matters so much to him

he’s such a small cinnamon roll 🥺🥺

seeing him with the older cobra kai boys makes you soft

“y/n i’m going out with hawk and miguel can you drive me?” 

bert admires you a lot, like you are his hero

y’all are the best sibling duo and that’s on period

#cobra kai #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai imagine #miguel diaz #miguel diaz x reader #miguel diaz cobra kai #hawk cobra kai #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #hawk x reader #robby keene #robby keene x reader #robby keene cobra kai #demetri #demetri x reader #king bert #bert x reader

[rumblelibrary]

I was listening to Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars and it came to my mind that this song would be a great source of inspiration for a headcanon for Modern!Laszlo Kreizler. What do you think?

What me? Crying my eyes out??? How did you know?

The night was happy and light, the chorus of laughter that bursted around him made his lips twitch instinctively into a tensed smile.

A sense of emptiness pervading him, a sense of loss even though in the happiest of times: the case was solved, the disappeared child was back.

The joyous parents kissing those puffy cheeks, Sara sipping her wine and darting engaging looks at John. Laszlo scratched his cheek lightly as he observed them, he didn’t need all those degrees to see what was bare in front of his eyes. His soft scratching was a mix between a show of tension and a reassurance to himself.

After all that running around, fear of finding the corpse of a child, after all that begging and researching and striving.

Then why happiness didn’t hit him? Why there was no relief?

He knew the truth, but the reality of things was that he wasn’t ready to admit it.

“Already going away?” John asked him as he picked up his coat from the chair where he abandoned it.

“Yes, I have an early round of appointments tomorrow”

“We couldn’t have done it without your insight” John insisted. To celebrate in the conference room of the police station just showed how much the happy ending of such a potential tragedy struck everyone.

Laszlo’s eyes darted slowly over the happy family in the corner, the father holding the baby daughter kissing her cheeks as the mother kept a steady hand on her small back, her smile was everything that a sight should be graced of: fullness, undivided love and tenderness.

“I know” Laszlo said only making John huff and chuckle joking that he is humble as always. Laszlo only smiled holding the coat under his arm as he gave him a nod and left.

Only once he was out he realised he came in John’s car, so he resumed to walk his way home, he needed some fresh air.

He never regretted his divorce, he was dragging a dead horse. His ex wife hated the guts of him and he never realised how much he didn’t trust her until the time to get parted came. Until he saw how many times he closed, how many times he felt that she was there to hurt him and, ultimately, she did when the right time came.

He brought it upon himself, that’s what he kept saying.

He tried, but not hard enough, he offered his heart but her pain was so vivid back then that he wondered did he ever gave it all? Or maybe he just believed it, he believed to have done it.

The happy smile of the woman that just had her baby back kept hunting him, the unfiltered happiness they felt caused him a primal form of envy that he refused to acknowledge to himself.

The soft tug on his back woke him from his trail of thoughts. Hand pulling his shirt shooting him back to reality.

A lone man walking home with the damn expensive watch he wore, any other person would have been worried.

And yet, when he turned around and saw you he was the worried one, like you just pointed a gun at him. He opened his mouth lightly but didn’t speak up.

“John told me you left, I hoped to catch up on you”

The way you spoke, the way you smiled, the little huffing in your breath showing you run after him. This is so wrong. He kept telling himself.

He just, he didn’t deserve this, the way you looked at him.

You’re just good at crushing anyone else Laszlo.

The words of his ex engraved onto his mind more than he would ever admit.

“I was just going home”

“Are you close?”

“Yes”

You looked at him with a soft sigh veiled by a smile, like you were dealing with some stubborn child.

“May I walk with you?”

“If you like”

“I do”

He titled his head down looking up at your frame, the way you looked at him teasing something inside him, something that was scratching, a loud white noise in the back of his head that you made audible.

He moved on side as you positioned yourself on his right.

You didn’t speak as you just walked with him, he didn’t talk either.

A shiver run through him, a sense of nervousness pervading him as his street got nearer after every step.

“You should go home, I mean, it is already late, I could call you a taxi”

“Do you really want to get rid of me, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer, because the answer was yes.

He needed to keep you far from him, since he met you your presence was both joy and pain to his eyes.

You sparked a new light, you opened his mind, got his interest. Hearing you talk, watching you move, even the smallest quirks and the little pet peeves of you. Everything was entertaining to him. He felt this need, the need to get under your skin, both mentally and physically. He wondered how it is to blend against your body, to kiss your lips, to taste your tears and your skin. He wondered if you cry while watching sad films, if you have childhood fears, if you talk in your sleep. He wondered if you ever found him attractive, if you’d refrain from his touch, if your kisses begin slow or passionate.

The truth was that he was the one not ready for you, he was the one afraid to let you touch him, to be bare with someone once again.

“I live here” He said noticing the apartments building standing on his left.

You looked up at it and smirked as it was an old building, one of those that survived after hundreds of restyling and it ket this old beginning of 1900 kind of feeling.

“Can I come in?”

“You’re shameless” he said as he indeed was admiring your persistence.

“Also that”

He looked at you for a moment, you didn’t blink away, not even for a second.

Just leave, please, just go away, stay with me, no go, better if you go.

He kept debating inside himself as you waited silently.

“I can’t do this”

You leaned your head on side at his words, you waited for him to explain himself.

“This thing, I mean, I can’t really get anyone in my apartment, alright? It is still a work in progress”

“You have done fooling me around with your excuses Laszlo” you said to him “you can’t take decisions for me and you won’t”

“I am not good at this, I will just hurt you, I am good at the beginnings but I just fail with time, I get sloppy, I won’t be a good choice on the long run”

“Laszlo” you interrupted his rambling as he stared at you. His eyes were begging you, begging you not to force him into this.

“Stop it now” you took a step forward as the space between you two closed abruptly, he felt the warmth radiating from you, the way your eyes shone for him, a sense of being lost and found taking over him, the unreasonable fear of something happening at that ungodly hour, like the building falling, anything, something that will ruin this moment.

“Aren’t you tired?”

You asked it so simply and yet he felt like he was the child that got lost in the night and was now being found again.

He parted his lips, eyes erratically escaping yours as he looked for any word, any excuse, any reason.

“Terribly”

He just said it as your hand gently raised, it was a slow movement like you were about to touch some frightened animal.

His eyes were fixed onto yours as your fingertips traced his cheek and up his temple. Your hand was a little cold against his skin, yet warm into your intentions. He leaned forward slowly pressing his forehead against yours.

“I can’t do this to you”

You smiled as your hand gently moved down his neck giving him a soft caress.

“You have been lonely for too long” you whispered.

He opened his eyes slowly, dark lids blinking into yours as his jaw tightened, a little redness forming as he tried to conceal the emotions running through him.

“Don’t let me hurt you”

“You won’t”

“I will”

“Then I’ll be there” you just said “I’ll be there for you, for us”

He shivered closing the space between the two of you with a sealing kiss, the push that got through him, like his whole body rebelled his mind, made him crush you against the heavy bricks of the entrance.

You could almost sense the immediate regret he felt, but you tugged him in, you pulled him closer as your lips sweetened the kiss from its initial desperation.

There was no pain in what it was about to begin and you wanted him to feel it.

You had no fear, no fear of the empty dark spaces of his mind, of the loneliness of his soul or the searing pain of his past.

You watched him consume himself for too long.

The time of excuses was over, and as your hands cupped his cheeks and whispered softly to him he could almost feel the abrupt silence of his mind after the loud noise of you tearing down his first defence wall fainted into that kiss.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams@charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme  @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

#laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler #modern!laszlokreizler #modern!laszlo kreizler #the alienist au #laszlo kreizler x y/n #laszlo kreizler x you #laszlo kriezler x reader #laszlo kreizler imagine #laszlo kreizler headcanons

[latenightartist-author]

If u r still taking Zemo x reader ideas could I request a one shot where Zemo and the fem!reader are a couple and they have to babysit a baby (could be Sarah's or smth) and he is SO ADORABLE with the baby (bc he misses his son so much) and the reader tells him that she's ready to have a family with him? All super fluff pls? 🥺

Sorry this took so long and I tried my best to write this. I don’t think I made it fluffy enough.

-Jasmine

A Baby

Pairing: Zemo x Reader

Warning: talk of Zemo’s dead son

You and Zemo had been together for almost two years now. After his assistance in taking down The Flag Smasher America, Germany, the country that took sakovia had pardoned him. He was allowed out of prison as lon as he stayed away from wakonda. Sara and Bucky had had a baby, sam still didn’t like the super soldier and his sister together, And sam was still captain America. He hadn’t had as many issues with it as he thought he would no one bothered him about being a black captain America other than racists.

Currently You and zemo were babysitting for Sara, Sam Wilson’s sister, while her sam and Bucky were preparing for a block party type of event. You were making Sara’s oldest boys sone Kraft Mac n’ Cheese while Zemo was watching the baby. He walked into the kitchen talking to the baby in that weird voice people use with children. You thought the voice was stupid but he looked so cute with the baby.

“Helmut you know he doesn’t understand you, right?” You said and he looked at you.

“I know libeling but it still helps when they learn to talk.”

“Honey you have an accent that sometimes I don’t even understand,” You said as the baby started crying, “I think I made the little guy mad.”

“No you didn’t y/n he’s probably just hungry.” Zemo handed the baby to you and you were a little tense. “Don’t be so tense they can sense fear. Do you know if Sara left-“

“She left his bottles in the fridge. Love? Does this babysitting make you miss Carl?”

“Y/n, I always miss Carl. He had his mother and I wrapped around his finger.. All children remind me of him,” He said heating the bottle as the two older boys ran in.

“Y/n! Zemo!” They shouted, “Is dinner done yet?”

“Almost.” You said as she had the boys sit down. Zemo took the baby and fed him smiling. You smiled and gave the older boys some Mac n’ Cheese. Zemo talked to the baby while feeding him. You looked at Zemo in awe and left the room. After dinner you got the older boys to bed and went to check on Zemo and the baby. He was singing the baby a sakovian lullaby. When he set the baby down in the crib you set your hand on Zemo’s back, “Helmut? Do you ever want to have a child again someday?”

“Yes one day but I’d never would want you t feel pressured int that sort of thing.” He said as the front door opened. You and him went to the living room. “James, Sara, Your children are asleep and the baby was fed and is asleep.”

“Thank You Zemo, Y/n. You two are life savers.”

“Anytime Sara.” You said getting Zemo’s jacket and yours. The two of you walked to his jet so you could go home. You were looking at the ground most of the way to the jet.

“Libeling talk to me. Something is on your mind.”

“What you said about wanting to have another chid someday.”

“meine Geliebte, don’t feel pressured by that-“

“No no Helmut I don’t. I didn’t want to mention it until you brought it up but the idea of starting a family with you has been crossing my mind a lot lately.”

“mein schatz was willst du sagen?” He said in sakovian making you sigh. He often slipped into his native language when he was confused or worried.

“Helmut you know I don’t understand Sakovian.”

“Sorry, My darling what are you trying to say?”

“If you want to have a baby, to start a family, I’m ready to do that with you.” You said and he smiled then hugged you.

The two of you wasted no time about two months later Sara and Bucky got a letter from you telling them that you were pregnant.

Tag list: @sebby-staan

#marvel #tfatws #bucky barnes #baron zemo #helmut zemo #the avengers #zemo x reader #disney #hydra #zemo #zemo x y/n #zemo x oc #zemo fanfic #zemo fluff #zemo imagine #zemo x you #sugar daddy zemo

[scuttle-buttle]

Psychopathia Sexualis - Chapter 1

Sequel to The Interpretation of Dreams

Pairing: Modern AU Professor Laszlo Kreizler x Fem!Reader

Summary: After experiencing a whirlwind enemies-turned-lovers romance with the imposing Professor Laszlo Kreizler, things have been wonderful for you. Your studies are coming along, work is enjoyable, and you are in a stable relationship with the man you believe to be the love of your life. Suddenly, everything threatens to come crashing down with the arrival of a face from the past. Will jealousy and desire consume you and destroy the love you finally found?

WC: 1116

Rated: M (will increase in later chapters)

Chapter Tags: domestic fluff, age difference, technically student/teacher relationship, mentions of daddy kinks & sugar daddies

🧠

Time passed quickly since the day you and the doctor finally admitted your feelings for each other. After that you were practically inseparable. You resumed work as his TA, only occasionally getting distracted, but the term was over after a few short weeks anyway. You had agreed to keep everything rather low key, so as not to encourage the wrath of the university. There was no actual rule against graduate students coupling with professors. Nevertheless, the practice was often frowned upon, and you didn’t want Laszlo to get in trouble. If anyone asked, you were just ‘friendly coworkers that sometimes ate meals together after work’. Most didn't pay attention to you anyway since you weren't friends with any underclassmen. Despite the fifteen year age difference you were both on the same page with the seriousness of the relationship. You knew how you felt about each other.

Sara and John found out right away. Because they had expected it to happen anyway there was no reason to hide it from them. The two were beyond happy for you. Whether Laszlo had noticed John slip a twenty dollar bill into Sara’s hand after the admission you’ll never know; at your raised brow John just shrugged and said that it was "about damn time". Bitsy was equally as delighted for you. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was also glad you would be out of the house more often so that she could spend time with her own boyfriend, Lucius.

Now, you are laying on your Laszlo’s bed scrolling through social media. The wintery weather outside his bedroom window gives you a chill despite the warmth of the fireplace he has burning. You were still not over just how nice his place was. It was in a rather upscale part of town and was roughly three times the size of your place. The townhouse style was similar in fashion to his office at the university - full of dark ornate wood and books and even a chandelier in the foyer. When you had asked how he afforded something like this in the heart of the city, he had just said a wealthy great uncle or other had left it in the family. With Laszlo being the only surviving member he inherited it.

Your love was getting himself ready in the bathroom. He had a department meeting to attend on campus in an hour. Tomorrow the new spring term would begin, and you were to resume your post as his TA. An errant thought crosses your mind as you admire the expensive looking painting hung on his wall.

“Laz?”

“Yes, Bärchen?” his response echoes in the large bathroom. You smile at the nickname, little bear. He’d given it to you because he said your presence was like that of a bear, ready to fight to protect herself and those she cared about.

“Are you my sugar daddy?” You can see his reflection in the mirror. He looks scandalized by the implications of your question.

“What would prompt you to ask that?” A blush forms on the apples of his cheeks.

“I mean think about it, I spend time with you - an older, exceedingly handsome, wealthy man - and in return I get orgasms and nice things.” Truth is, you are joking entirely, you know the relationship is conventional. You just like to watch him squirm with teasing like this.

He walks into the bedroom and picks his sweater off the bed next to you. “You're teasing me," he accuses with a grin. "I hardly think it can be considered as that sort of arrangement when you get paid because you are employed to work for me. It is merely happenstance that the other characteristics should parallel themselves to that of a…” he searches for the words, “financial benefactor.” You laugh at his unwillingness to say ‘sugar daddy’. “As for the orgasms…” he smirks and drops a kiss to your head.

He finishes dressing as you bury yourself under the duvet. “What are your plans while I’m detained?”

“I don’t know, figured I would just take it easy today. I need to be well rested for my first day at work tomorrow - I hear some pretty ruthless things about this German doctor I’m going to be working with.” You get off the bed and wrap your arms around Laszlo’s waist. “But I don't know, I think I’ll like the guy.” He leans in to give you a chaste kiss.

Checking his watch he sees that he needs to leave lest he be late for the meeting. “You’re welcome to stay here while I’m gone. It shouldn’t be more than an hour or two at most. Perhaps we will go to Delmonicos for dinner to celebrate the beginning of a new term.”

“Sounds great, daddy,” you wink. Normally you didn’t tease him this much, but you were in a playful mood.

He rolls his eyes. “Remind me why it is that I tolerate you?”

“‘Cause you love me,” you retort with a broad smile.

He brings your hand up, kissing the back of it as he turns to leave. Softly he whispers “Indeed I do.”

_

Laszlo fiddles with the pen in his hand. The upcoming semester was no different than previous ones. He had stopped taking ‘notes’ long ago as the head of the department continued to drone on. Laszlo would admit, the meeting had drawn on longer than anticipated and he had lost focus on the last few minutes. He would rather be at home in your company than here.

“Before we end the meeting I do have one last exciting announcement - many of you have been around long enough to remember, but we are pleased to be welcoming back Dr. Stratton as a visiting professor this semester!” the department head cheered. At the mention of a Dr. Stratton Laszlo perked up.

“Dr. Karen Stratton will be conducting outside research in the city, so I have asked that she grace us with her presence in teaching an elective on her speciality: sexual deviancy. Unfortunately, she is on a flight to the states as we speak, otherwise I know she would be here to greet you all herself.”

Karen was coming to New York?

The thought excited him, as he hadn’t seen her since he moved to the States four years ago. He and Karen had followed each other's work for years before meeting at a symposium in Vienna almost six years prior. The two remained close until he accepted the current position and fell out of touch.

Meeting over, Laszlo sent you a text to be ready for Delmonico’s when he got home. He had much to look forward to this term.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff @hb8301 @fandom-princess-forevermore @foggycandywitch

#Psychopathia Sexualis #the interpretation of dreams #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo x reader #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler x reader smut #modern laszlo kreizler #professor laszlo kreizler au #the alienist #the alienist angel of darkness #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler fanfic #scuttle-buttle

[lupically]

#4D3035 | BENNETT.

genre | angst

word count | 1227

warning | mention of death, badly written (?) grieve 

note | i tried taking a little turn with this one. i thought diluc could resonate with a scenario like this so i added him in. anyway, i hope you like this anon, thank you for requesting!

request | from anon

"if you see him at the graveyard behind the cathedral, please take him home."

jean's request echoed in diluc's mind as he cautiously hid behind the column of the grand cathedral.

his soulless red eyes focused on the unfamiliar boy sitting on the grass by a tombstone. that must be bennett. what kind of teenager would willingly hang around such an eerie location at the dead of night if it wasn't for a desperate cause? it could only be the orphan whose best friend just passed because of incurable health problems.

bennett sat close to the tombstone but he was still careful with the spaces he occupied. it wasn't entirely visible, but it seemed that he brought a bag and nothing else to this moonlit solo picnic of his. he was munching on a small sandwich sara whipped up for him out of sympathy and talking to himself.

it was almost sad to watch.

diluc knew very little about bennett. he wasn't particularly interested in the sun-kissed boy besides the fact that they're the same. on unspoken levels, he understood that they are the same.

it wouldn't have to take a genius to understand the situation at hand—bennett's friend died and now he heads over to their grave every night to spend time with their ghost, for closure purposes, maybe.

diluc knew, personally, that talking to a stone doesn't actually work, but at bennett's age, he didn't have many grieving options left to pick from.

"you know what i found behind a cave near starsnatch cliff today?" bennett said, his voice positively loud, and he fished out a dirty-looking headband from his bag. he looked at it, examined it carefully, then he hummed in dismay. "hmm, i actually don't know what this is... but i am going to ask my dads about it later and i'll come back to tell you!"

he dropped the headband on the ground before reaching into his bag again. his lips stayed permanently quirked up, his green eyes shining like the sun would in this dark, silent night. taking a quick bite of the sandwich, he huffed out an excited breath when his eyes caught sight of glowing everflame seed and immediately pulled it out of his bag.

"oh, and i fought the pyro regisvine today!" he exclaimed animatedly, looking down at the seed. "it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be, but you were right, i am a bad match for it. thank god razor came along, i would have gotten off worse."

mumbling something about planting the seed in his home's backyard, and then frowning about how it would probably be a bad idea to plant a pyro regisvine within the city walls, bennett took a big bite of the sandwich as he set down the seed before he realization suddenly hit him.

"oh!" crumbs of bread flew out of the corner of his mouth. "razor! i met a new friend recently in whispering woods! he is really cool, you would like him! he lives near wolvendom..."

he reached for the treasure map in his bag and hastily rolled it open. his finger wiggled in preparation to point out razor's whereabouts, but upon the sight of the beat-up treasure map—rusty, written over, and burnt around the edges—his movement stopped at the red cross marked obnoxiously atop of liyue harbor.

"i will take you there one day! i heard they have a super nice lantern festival! we can make lanterns and write wishes on them!"

he never managed to get you there. you had died before he even made it past dawn winery on his reckless attempt to carry you to liyue.

the decision to strap you to your bed until your last minute did not sit well with him; he had wanted you to see the outside world despite your terrible health, he had wanted you to meet the sun and moon personally, so he snuck you out of mondstadt and made a run for it. a terrible decision, truly, he was never going make it.

bennett could still remember the final knock of your weak hand against his back, urging him to give up. he remembers how he had to find a comfortable spot under a tree where you could see the moon clear as day. he especially remembered the moment he watched you take your last breath, and he worried how he was supposed to explain this to anybody.

your parents would have killed him if jean and the adventure's guild didn't stand by him, but still, that would never stop him from thinking that everything might have been his fault.

the red cross that once signified a final destination, a dream within reach, now served as a warning. the red marker was tainted with the blood of your death, as if screaming, "never go there! the last time you tried, your friend died!"

diluc raised his brow upon bennett sudden stop in movement. he pushed himself off the wall and stepped a little closer, watching the boy with knowing intensity. the moment was finally here after the train of denying cheerfulness. the sun, sitting alone by the dead moon, was finally falling apart.

tears fell seamlessly out of bennett's pretty eyes as cries huffed past his mouth. he looked around, noticing everything but not taking them into account, seeing everything but not understanding the purpose of them. what was the sandwich for? what was the map for? what was the everflame seed for? what was the tombstone for?

he was just crying. that was all he knew to do now.

little clouds of grieve and guilt allowing the switching off of his bright exterior and finally, reverting him to who he truly was: just a boy; a boy who lost his dear friend, a boy who could not have done better than he could before and now, a boy who had his love taken away and was left to deal with it with nothing but tears because that was all he should understand.

"i'm so sorry," he said. "i miss you so much, please come back."

there was a hint of softening in diluc's chest.

it was all bennett could do; these cries of bargain. please come back, so this time around i will figure it out, this time around i will protect you, this time around i will love you better than i did before.

diluc didn't know much about bennett, but he knew for sure that the boy loved you more than he had let on, more than the amount he regretted not showing. like the sun that hides itself so the moon can shine, its affection hidden beneath the mountain and the ocean in incalculable ways.

they are the same, on many unspoken levels they are the same.

diluc waited until the boy dropped asleep on the grass. he walked over, looked at him, couched down to gather his things, and he hoisted the boy on his back so he could bring him to jean and ask for the whereabouts of his home.

bennett stirred a little, but he didn't wake up. amid his slumber, he mumbled your name, and diluc wondered if things would turn out better for the boy.

he wondered if the sun will shine like it used to again, even though the moon has died.

#genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin bennett #genshin impact bennett #bennett #bennett imagines #genshin bennett x reader #bennett x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin

[karezzasstuff]

From the project of interviewing Stanley S. Bass about his experiences with Karezza techniques, The Life Science Publishing created the 2008 book Energy-Karezza. Here Dr. Bass tells the story of how, in his 30’s, he was on his way to become a celibate yogi through Brahmacharya, when he learned about reaching the same spiritual goal via Karezza & Tantra. He decided to try Karezza instead.

Even though his personal goal was spiritual, Dr. Bass soon discovered that women loved Karezza, and couldn’t get enough. When he started teaching the improved Energy-Karezza method to couples with marital problems, the results were astounding. Usually, within weeks, the couple had fallen in love again. Problematic marriages healed, becoming more and more harmonious and stronger with time.

Over time, over 50+ years, he not only gained experience concerning every aspect of Karezza/Tantra, but also – thanks to his energy-understanding, being an orthopathic doctor – developed an improved, more powerful & easy-to-learn, version. Traditional “Karezza/Tantra” can be difficult for men, but “Energy-Karezza/Tantra” is easy, and also gives more pleasure & prolongation..

INTRODUCING OTHERS TO KAREZZA

Karezza is about one thing, the man has to control himself. It is so easy. I got so good at this control that I soon was able to go almost a whole year with no accidents. With very heavy sex - three times a week, four hours each session. It didn't take long to get to a high level of proficiency.

In a few months I was very good at it already.

It is very simple, it is natural. It is not difficult. Prove it for yourself, don't take my word for it. Try it out. The first time I heard about it, it was strange to me, so I tried it. It didn't take me long to get good at it. It was easier than I thought. In fact, I taught Karezza to a lot of friends, and everyone had success.

If one of them asked me, "how do I know if it will work?", I gave him a simple method of trying it. I usually said, "why don't you first try:

1. Don't have an orgasm quickly, but wait until the woman is finished, until she has had her enjoyment. Practice holding back for half an hour, for an hour, for several hours, if you can.

2. Then you'll see that your own orgasms are better; they are more enjoyable.

3. Also try having an orgasm only every other time you have sex.

Skipping one time. Every other time, try without orgasm. See how you feel."

With my sex students, those were my instructions, to begin with. These instructions summarize basic traditional Karezza. But these simple instructions could still be difficult for some men. They lost control (ejaculated) early, and were never able to do Karezza for a full hour.

Therefore, to make it easier, I gave my students some Energy-Karezza secrets. I asked them to improve their diet, and to avoid alcohol and all drugs. I told them not to eat before sex, because a man can not control himself after he has eaten. Why? Because then too much blood goes to the stomach.

Also, I gave very detailed instructions on the best movements in sex. I told them to move slowly, and explained how to move, so they wouldn't get too excited, e.g. sideways, in semicircles, avoiding the in-out moves.

For the premature ejaculators, I told them to give up salt, and to not use anything spicy hot, avoid hot peppers, stay away from spices, because this throws them out of control. And then I told them to use certain motions, slow motions, that makes it easy to control oneself. That's all.

Then the women will get the pleasure, because the men are controlling themselves.

For some men the pleasure was so overwhelming that they were still unable to control themselves very long, more than perhaps 45 minutes, even if their diet was good and they had high vitality. In these cases I think the solution is just doing it over and over. Sometimes men, just like women, may need saturation with lots of high-pleasure peak orgasms, before they can start with serious self-control and higher-pleasure valley orgasms. It may take months, but in the end they will get there.

I myself was never overly concerned with the clitoris or the G-spot, because the Karezza was so enjoyable and I was so good at it that a woman couldn't hold out long. If they wanted to have an orgasm, they could have it quick. Women enjoyed it.

The women were very happy. After beginning Karezza, it became unnecessary to calculate all this stuff. I never had to actually figure it out.

All I did was to function naturally, the way I felt like, without thinking about it. And it was right, for every woman. If one gets too mechanical about it, one becomes a dud. Then it is not real. Real sex has nothing to do with the brain, it has to do with feelings, true feelings and movement.

That's all. The brain is not needed.

From page 45 the Technique to Paradise.

🍎🐍🏖️

YAB YUM

What are you experiencing?

~ by yab yum

Be patient. At first you can't experience the orgasmic part of this process. Some get it on their first try and for some it can take years. Keep practicing with the exercise your teacher gives you. Even if you don't experience the orgasm, just the breath and energy circling alone is of great value. It will clear blocks so that eventually the orgasm can pass through you. Blocks can be experienced in many ways – crying, gagging, getting frustrated, resurfacing old memories. Just keep breathing. Visualize letting go of the "old" on the exhale, ringing out the "new" on the inhale. Energy levels will most likely rise and fall, like mercury in a thermometer. Tell your partner where it slipped. Your partner will encourage you to tap into your sexual center when energy is slipping. One of the main keys to learning this technique is KNOWING that it is possible.

(When asked if she had an orgasm, Sara responded 🙂

It was uninterrupted, uninterrupted… This was definitely something else, which I have never experienced so fully.

(Sara was then asked if there were any psychological changes.)

Oh yes, sure. From the point of view of spiritual practice it is always full of insight, a kind of insight that comes after, about how I am in ecstasy in my usual state, because it is obvious that the ecstasy is inherent in the body (level), of my being… and also of course this would affect my meditation. I am much more relaxed and receptive physically, emotionally and psychologically when I sit down to meditate…. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but meditation becomes very sexual, very physical, playing with all these hormones. Very often in my meditation there is a stage like deepening where it goes through something like lovemaking in a hormonal sense. I feel the heat and change of energy and so forth, and then it just cools down. That is when deep meditation begins.

It is absolutely blissful in ecstasy because the bliss is something I feel in the body. The ecstasy is something where the body is no longer. Energy goes up. His community. It is love. The transcendent, the energy feeling, transcends even the light that I'm talking about in meditation, and just went into the light.

One tree merges with another tree, the earth merges with the trees, the trees merge with the sky, the sky merges with the unknown...you merge with me, I merge with you...everything merges...differences lost, melting and merging as waves into other waves…an enormous unity vibrating, alive, without limits, without definitions, without distinction…the sage melting into the sinner, the sinner flowing together in the sage…becoming good becoming bad, becoming bad…the night turning into the day, day turning into night… life melts into death, death plunges into life again – then everything has become one.

This has changed my experience with sexuality forever… It has blown up things like this what you have about sex, the good feeling you get from sexual experience or trying to get. It broke that because it was so obviously about submission. It wasn't about me trying to do something. It was about not doing something, but rather receiving or allowing it, rather than doing and creating and making.

This is the most profound healing practice I have ever encountered. It has awakened me to realize that my body is often shut off from the bliss and ecstasy it might be experiencing. Through this practice I have come to learn that emotional pain occurs when orgasmic energy does not flow freely through my body and that there is an infinite flow of orgasmic energy available to me. It has taken me years to gradually release the tension and pain in my body and I still have areas of tension to unblock. The sensations can be different each time depending on my condition, sometimes there is a pulsating vibration and sometimes it feels like some kind of electrical current circulating through my genitals throughout my body. There may be tears of joy. My mind can be perfectly clear and it can seem like everything I feared has been resolved. When a certain area of ​​tension is unblocked and the orgasmic energy circulates, there is always an amazing sense of oneness with the life being awakened.

Mel 40 Auckland

My teacher knew how to touch – and where to make contact – He knew places to touch that I didn't know about – and soon I was on my way to another place in another universe. I was in a trance of breathing and sweat and pleasure that so long and so dead do had gone – that I traveled through light and sound. I never knew that such an experience could be had without actually making love. When I finally climaxed and climaxed and climaxed, I couldn't believe I was having a sexual climax in the presence of someone other than my husband. I felt both excitement and a little embarrassment. Looking back at this moment, I would never have thought that having an orgasm for another man would actually be the "beginning" of this whole journey in Tantra

Emma S 35

Auckland

And this is the joy of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm, because you disappear for a moment. That moment is very small, but its impact is immense. For a moment you are no longer the ego, you do not think in terms of 'I', for a moment you dissolve into the oneness of the all, you become one with the whole, you pulsate with the whole. You are no longer an individual… you are no longer limited to your body. You have no limitations, for a moment you are unlimited, infinite.

That is the meaning of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm – that your frozen energy melts, becoming one with this universe, with the trees and the stars, and the woman and the man, and the rocks – for a single moment, of course. But in THAT moment you have a kind of consciousness that is religious, that is sacred, that is one with all things. – OSHO

Unbelievable! Some are very strong and some are wonderfully subtle. In general, the more time you spend building up the energy, the more powerful the sensations. You experience “electricity” throughout your body, hands, feet and lips tingle, and there is a sense of letting go and receiving at the same time. You will feel high, euphoric and light-headed. It feels very different from a clitoral orgasm (but it can happen at the same time as a clitoral orgasm). You see a seed sprout, flowers appear on a tree somewhere, the birds are singing – the whole phenomenon is sexual. It is life manifesting in many ways. When the bird sings, it is a sexual call, an invitation. When the flower attracts butterflies and bees, it is an invitation, because the bees and butterflies bear the seeds of reproduction. Everything seems to be divided into these two polarities. And life is a rhythm between these two opposites. Repulsion and attraction, coming closer and getting far… these are the rhythms.

Z

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