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#s/h mention tw
brandstifter-sys · 3 months
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Don't Drop Mr. Fuzzy
Word Count: 2405 (Ao3)
Characters: Virgil, Remus, Mr. Fuzzy
Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, fear of abandonment, death mention, violence mention, s/h mention, post-break up reconciliation
After the gift exchange, Virgil couldn't stop thinking about Remus, about the slip in his bubbly facade. So naturally he went running to the Duke, and not a moment too soon. Remus needed some affection.
---
The gift exchange wasn't as much of a disaster as he thought. Sure he had a hiccup with his giftee doubting him, but Roman bitch slapped Janus. Patton was thrilled with his gift, but then there was his own present. 
Virgil sat on his bed and stared at Mr. Fuzzy. He could admit it was cute, for something Remus made, and if he had no idea what it was made of he could be grateful for it. In private. Who really kept gifts from their ex?
“Maybe if I sanitize you, you won't be as gross,” Virgil said and turned it in his covered hands. He had yet to set it down, partly because he didn't want to contaminate his room, and partly because he felt guilty for dropping it after Remus' little outburst. 
“Mr. Fuzzy doesn't like being dropped!” 
The way Remus said that punched him in the amygdala. The layered voice, that rigid posture, those wide eyes—to an outsider it was uncanny, unsettling, but not to those who knew him. Virgil knew him all too well.
“Alright,” Virgil sighed and got up, headed for his desk. He conjured a small tub of warm water and that blue barber shop comb cleaner and set Mr. Fuzzy inside. 
“I'll be back in ten, so just chill,” he said and stepped into the closet. There was no way he was wearing a sweater for the rest of the night! Maybe he could just go shirtless and play video games until bedtime, it was less work. But he still had to handle Mr. Fuzzy and hide it in the back of the closet somewhere. 
That idea made his stomach churn. He was so tired of hiding things just so they could come out in the open again. And Remus' words were echoing in his skull again. 
Mr. Fuzzy didn't like being dropped. Abandoned. Neither did Remus. And Virgil absolutely dropped and abandoned him. Virgil abandoned him and yet he still made him a gift with his own hands, a cute little blob that really fit his aesthetic. 
He couldn't ignore the dread filling him as he peeled off his sweater. Remus used that voice. It was the same as the one Virgil used when he was on the verge of a panic attack. It was a cry for help.
He knew Remus had his moments when his thoughts drove him crazy, when he legitimately feared that they would become reality. He knew how horrible the duke felt despite his smile and impishness. 
Why didn't he recognize it at the gift exchange? Was it his own anxiety about being stuck with Janus and Remus? Was it Janus' obvious discomfort with the situation, the discomfort that led him to drinking all that wine? It should have hit him much sooner than it did. 
And as he finished getting into his pajamas, Virgil realized that he couldn't just sit by. He still cared about Remus, more than he should.
He grabbed Mr. Fuzzy, willed it dry, and sank out. 
---
Remus wandered down the hallway towards his bedroom. He didn't trust himself to sink out and appear in his own room, not when his mind was screaming at him. Now that Janus was in bed and cozy, and the party was over, he didn't have any distractions.
He just wanted to have fun in the chaos a drunk Janus brought to the “family gathering” and maybe give and get presents outside of the secret Santa. But all he got was a throw away, thoughtless gift (he loved it but it felt impersonal and did not help his thoughts) and a shock from his brother slapping his bestie. In hindsight it was exactly the kind of response to the building tension he enjoyed, but at that moment it was gnawing at his brain.
Janus dying from a snapped neck, leaving him.
Roman stabbing him through the gut, blood splattering up to his mustache.
Worst of all, Virgil hated the gift he made for him. Yes, he scoured his shower drain for it—it’s called recycling! But he made sure to clean the hair if only so the glue would stick! It was cute and creepy! Just like Virgil! 
Virgil pushing him off a cliff into the void. 
Silence. Darkness. Solitude. Only his thoughts telling him how he could die
Remus didn't realize he was digging his thumbnail into his fingers, going from pointer to pinky and back, until he reached his door. He could smell the blood on his hands. He was ready to scream and cry. Maybe he could cuddle with his favorite teddy and hide under the covers—
Suffocating. Blood vessels in his wide eyes breaking. His face turning red.
—curl up on top of the covers. 
But his heart shattered when he opened the door. He couldn't even hold up his deranged smile. He had everything organized perfectly, clean, and nothing should have been out of place, but the unexpected hairball on his desk was staring at him. Mr. Fuzzy was back. Virgil didn't even want to keep it in his closet! 
Tears welled in his eyes as he staggered towards the desk, not bothering to look at the rest of his room. Virgil actually hated him! He really was gone— 
“Hey,” Virgil said softly. Remus whipped around and spotted his favorite edgelord perched on his bed. He was chewing his bottom lip and avoiding his eyes, but was he really there? 
Remus timidly reached out and brushed Virgil’s arm with his bleeding fingers. He was not hallucinating. 
“Can we talk?” Virgil asked and gently grabbed his hand. Remus nodded dumbly and sat down next to him. 
“What did you want to talk about?” 
“Are you doing alright? You kinda slipped back there,” Virgil said and scooted closer. He conjured some bandages and tended to his wounds. 
“No. I miss you. I put so much time and effort into your gift and you don't like it, you even dropped it!” Remus pouted. He didn't have to plaster a smile on his face or pretend he wasn't hurting now. He couldn't hide his fingers so why hide anything else?
“I hate you” Virgil glaring at him with so much disdain.
“I was startled when you said you got the supplies from JoAnn Fabrics,” Virgil admitted, “I was expecting a catch, you never make something simple. And I never know what you have in store. I thought it might bite.” 
“But you still don't like it. You were so unimpressed and unhappy. You said it was going to the back of your closet never to be seen again,” Remus shuddered as Virgil let go of his bandaged hands. 
Virgil shoving him in the back of his closet and forgetting him.
“I was in a really bad mood,” Virgil said and wrapped an arm around him, “You know how much I hate social situations like that, especially with Janus running his mouth. I'm not shoving Mr. Fuzzy in my closet. I like it. It's actually pretty cute.” 
Remus leaned into him and closed his eyes, not trying to fight the tears. This was too much and not enough. 
“Do you hate me now?” he finally asked and glanced at Virgil. He hated how sad those eyes were, how dark his eyeshadow was.
He hates you. He wants you to disappear 
“No, I don't hate you,” Virgil said and pulled him closer, “I don't have a lot of patience, and I get angrier than I used to. But I don't hate you.” 
He'll pretend you don't exist
You'll wither to a skeleton when Janus leaves like he did
Remus shivered and scooted onto his lap. He clung to Virgil’s shirt and sobbed. Why wouldn't his brain just stop? Virgil was telling the truth! Virgil went looking for him! Virgil was worried about him!
“It's okay, Remus, I got you,” Virgil said and hugged him, “Your bad thoughts aren't real.” 
“I don't want to be abandoned!” Remus sobbed and buried his face in Virgil’s shoulder, “I don't need anyone to like me! I just don't want to be alone! That's all I can think about!” 
“After all these images of pain have cut right through you, I will kiss every scar and weep, you are not alone,” Virgil muttered and gently rocked him. 
Remus tightened his grip and shook as a new wave of sobs wracked him. Virgil couldn't even see the claw marks on his arms, old crescent shaped scars from moments like these. 
He'll see them and run from a lost cause.
“Do you want me to stay overnight?” Virgil asked and kissed his head. Remus didn't answer him. He was too busy crying his heart out. 
Virgil hated seeing him like this. He knew Remus absolutely sobbed just as hard when he ended their relationship years ago. He knew that Remus unintentionally hurt himself when he was distressed. He knew that the duke needed someone to tell him he would be okay.
“Can you stay tonight?” Remus muttered once he calmed down, “I can sleep on the floor, just as long as you're here.” 
“I'll stay,” Virgil responded and stroked his hair. It was still as soft as ever, “And you don't have to sleep on the floor.” 
“But I get clingy and I might do something that makes you mad,” Remus pouted, “It's bad enough I want you back. I don't want you to leave me as a friend too.” 
“After all the hell I put you through,” Virgil sighed, “you shouldn't want me back. I don't deserve a second chance.” 
“Do you want one anyway?” Remus sniffled and dried his eyes. Virgil hugged him tighter and sighed. 
“Yeah. I want that.” 
“Did you want to get a clean shirt?” Remus asked and stared at the mess he made. He usually didn't mind snot but it stayed out of his bed. His bedroom was clean to fight his intrusive thoughts, his workshop was a hot stinky mess where he could go wild. That was one boundary he refused to cross. 
“I don't mind going shirtless, but yeah I'm not wearing this to sleep.” 
“You'd go shirtless in bed with me?” Remus gawked. 
“If it's cool with you, yeah,” Virgil shrugged and averted his eyes, “but if you aren't I can get a clean shirt. But I would have to leave for a couple minutes.” 
“I have your old A Day to Remember shirt if you want to wear that,” Remus muttered and scooted away from him. 
“You kept that?” 
“Yeah. It smells like you and it's comfy.” 
“Let's get you out of that sweater and in something more comfortable,” Virgil said and got up. He helped Remus to his feet and peeled that stupid Christmas sweater off. 
Remus shuddered as his bare skin met the air. It was soothing, no longer having any fabric smothering him. 
Virgil snickered and tossed the sweater in the hamper at the foot of the bed. 
“You might want to rename—” he said Mr. Fuzzy's eldritch name, “—at least in English.” 
“Why?” Remus pouted. He was startled when Virgil ran his hands over his chest. It was a gentle touch, with no hidden meaning. 
“Pretty sure you're the real Mr. Fuzzy,” Virgil teased, “You're still as soft and fluffy as ever.” 
“Your shirt is in the dresser in the second drawer, no cuddles until you're not a snot boy,” Remus grumbled and averted his gaze. He was feeling too many things at once and he did not need to add mushy to that list. 
“Who's fault is that?” Virgil scoffed playfully and shed his hoodie. He didn't wait for Remus to respond before going to the dresser and grabbing his old shirt. 
“Yours. You let me use you as a tissue,” Remus jeered without much enthusiasm and got out of his pants. At least he was throwing quips and stripping like he normally did. 
“You got me there,” Virgil said and changed shirts. He tossed the snotty one in the hamper and crept up behind Remus. The duke wasn't entirely present. 
Remus yelped as Virgil grabbed him from behind and dragged him onto the bed. He squirmed and tried to escape, but Virgil's hold was too strong. 
“You're cute when you try to fight me,” Virgil chuckled softly and kissed his cheek. 
Virgil letting go of him. Letting him fall— 
Remus flipped over and clung to him. 
“Stay,” he grumbled and squeezed Virgil as tightly as possible. 
“I'm staying. I'll only leave to use the bathroom,” Virgil said softly and rubbed his back. Remus stayed quiet, shivering from the touch. So he was starved for affection and Janus could only provide so much. 
“Did you like your present?” Virgil asked after a few moments. 
“Daddy didn't know what to get me so he got me something from a top ten list. I'll love it more when my thoughts quiet down,” Remus grumbled, “I'm just happy he got me something and didn't forget about me!” 
“It’s hard to forget about you,” Virgil said and kissed his hair, “You're too sweet.” 
“You mean that?” 
“Yeah. You made me a gift with your own hands, a unique little eldritch horror that's cool and cute. You went out of your way to make it.” 
“It's cute and cuddly and it eats stuff from the shower drain. It keeps things clean!” 
“It's alive?” Virgil asked, horrified. 
“Yeah. I didn't think that would be a big deal,” Remus wilted. 
“I stuck it in a tub of barbicide for ten minutes. Did I kill it?” Virgil panicked. 
A shrill chirp pulled him from his spiraling. He glanced over Remus' shoulder and saw the little hairball on the bed. 
“Mr. Fuzzy likes getting dangerous baths,” Remus giggled. Virgil immediately relaxed when he heard that beautiful sound. 
“Can it join in the cuddle pile? It doesn't like Remus being sad,” Virgil asked. Remus snuggled closer and nodded. He needed all the affection he could get. 
Almost immediately four long, hairy tentacles wrapped around Remus' torso. Virgil was surprised but not shocked. There was always a catch with Remus' creations. 
“Mr. Fuzzy doesn't like being dropped and he doesn't like letting go,” Virgil mused as a fifth tentacle curled around his arm. 
“How did you know that about it?” Remus grumbled. 
“I didn't. I was talking about a different Mr. Fuzzy,” Virgil replied and kissed the top of his head, “And I'm not dropping you again.” 
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byakuyasdarling · 10 months
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I love how I was finally starting to recover and my dad says that as of next week I’m not allowed to draw anymore between 8am-3pm and can only do “productive things”. Like what? I don’t have a job. It was the only thing that was keeping me productive and happy. I know it’s not taken away from me completely but those are big hours for me.
And I don’t think I need to explain how art is so emotionally important to me.
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skyedancer2006 · 8 days
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🍇 🍋
🍇 - Does your system have varying tastes in music, food, etc? If so, what is everyone's favorites?
We very much have varying tastes in music; everything else not so much (with a few exceptions). A good chunk of us have alt, rock, and metal as our favorites (with plenty of Vocaloid mixed in too), with whatever The Crane Wives and AURORA fall under being mixed in some too. Some people have preferences for one section of the wider agreement over others. Alice’s music taste stands out from everyone’s; she absolutely loves country, where the rest of us don’t very much. Just playing a country song (especially something by The Chicks) will pull her to front almost without fail.
Only notable food thing is Rai with sandwiches; just think about making a sandwich and that robo-dragon will run straight to front and start begging for one.
🍋 - What's something your headmates have done for you when you weren't feeling well? Or vice versa, what was something you've done for another headmate to help them feel better?
I remember a time where Night was extremely upset due to irl family problems, so Lust (who’s dreir partner) and I came to front to calm drem down. It worked well, and we slept surprisingly well that night considering the circumstances. There have been similar incidents since, but that was the first one we can remember.
One with me specifically was when I was having one of my s/h urge episodes. Amane came to front and used humor to help distract me until it passed, and it helped form a friendship between us until a later incident that I would rather not speak about.
Thank you for the ask, Neon.
-🔪Omori (He/They)
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"Sometimes I cut myself to see how much it bleeds. Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me"
Eminem really hit the nail on the head
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"Why would you do that to yourself" I'm trying my best to soothe the pain, trying to cradle it so that maybe just maybe it will stop crying out
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freddie-77-ao3 · 3 months
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do you think young will solace ever got upset that he wasn't doing well enough in the infirmary and was focusing on his stitches or sutures and at eleven years old, head of the infirmary, he thought he needed to be better, and he takes a scalpel and cut his leg open to practice and did that for weeks before anyone noticed because they were at war they were so busy and when they finally notice he's addicted to the pain. his stitches are so much better. and every time after that, as long as he lives, when he does stitches, when they don't work, when his patient dies, he wants to take out that scalpel again and sometimes he doesn't, but sometimes he is a tired and alone thirteen year old, and on cold nights, he continues practicing his sutures.
anyway yeah i'm normal.
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sh-culture-is · 5 days
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sh culture is doing it when you are happy, as a "treat"
.
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mezzyb0nb0n · 7 months
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IMPORTANT (relating to the recent Joe Hawley situation)
If your sensitive to s/h related stuff, do NOT go on Joe Hawley’s music accs right now. The people who have been posting the songs under his name has posted a song with a picture of s/h as the cover of it, if you’re triggered by s/h I do not suggest going on his accounts till it gets deleted.
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cheeeseborgor · 3 days
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I WANNA MAKE A $H DISC SERVER!!! im bad at making servers tho so idk.. but i want to be in a community w my sh moots on disc!! i think itd be so fun and a good way to share pics too!! not forcing anyone ofc!!
my disc is yearning.soul (add me if interested in the server or just being $h buddies!!)
TAGGING PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE INTERESTED:
@xyzmv @vacantspace7 @bl00d-slvt @randomshitiwanttoknow @jeffreyarsenik @bonecvtter @hardcoregayanalsegx @perristala @anisasbrokenworld @ellies-life @mezzo-piano230 @mistermgguy @charliethinks @hhabitualvvampirism @ghostcvtzzz @greygothic @tragicallyhim @no1toothlessfan @pixiwhore @cvttersparadise @thecrazywitch @kayk00kie @love-stuck @j3-4n @littlestpancakes @llnsomnia
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how many times have you tried to drown yourself in the digital lake
none! i've never even touched the digital lake!!..
because i don't think i can swim with a ribbon body!...yeah.. why does caine mention this everytime he talks about the digital lake???..
remember! stay safe around lakes! especially the digital one!
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raincamp · 8 months
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the feminine urge to cut myself so deep that FP looks at it and says "holy shit thats really bad Andrew" and looks at me with her worried eyes, wonders what she did wrong, asks me if I've talked to my therapist yet, tells me that she'll pay more attention to me from now on, and—
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furinzii · 3 months
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pasting this from my discord sooo
(tw mentions of s/h)
hey guys
I'm aware of what's going on on twt rn and to anyone that was worried, I am okay now. I wanna say though that I NEVER spread any dpriv account around publicly and I only told like. Several people who I trusted. Yes I blocked their dpriv but that's because they're known for block evading and I didn't want that, soo.
I don't care if you hate me or whatever for doing whatever it is that you think I did, but I love all of you.
BUT I'M SO FUCKING DONE W TWITTER OH MY GOD an app has never made me wanna kms more
tw genuine s/h
and no I was not guilt tripping.
but that's not important. I'm so, so sorry to anyone I hurt. Y'all didn't deserve that.
To anyone who still gaf about me lol, I'm gonna be a little inactive publicly for a bit but I'll be back to normal soon.
But.
I will absolutely NOT be returning to twitter.
that app has caused me nothing but constant pain and paranoia and I can't deal w it anymore. sorry
I'm not gonna let myself be hurt by issues caused by an already shitty social media.
conclusion
I love all of you are still w me, and I hope you can find it in you to forgive me if you're against me. Even if I don't deserve it.
Thank you.
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bughugs · 1 year
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i’m so fucking lonely i don’t even know why i’m fighting anymore. Nobody will care when i’m gone.
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cheddar-inq · 4 months
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tw for s/h mention, im asking a question abt it below cut
is it considered self-harm to punch yourself? or to scratch at your arms (sometimes to the point of bleeding or those little red scratches that dont go away for a few days)?
ive never cut, im incredibly scared of sharp objects since i accidentally sliced my finger on glass a few years ago.
but ive been told that it is and that it isnt
whenever i get really stressed and upset with myself ill punch myself as hard as i can, usually in the arms or sometimes in the head. usually i have lots of bruises on my upper arms, which is another reason i prefer hoodies so much because they fully cover the bruises that i hate trying to explain.
its not just if im mad at myself but usually thats the only time when im so genuinely upset i do that, but occasionally itll happen for othe reasons. when a kid in pit orchestra with me was being an asshole as per usual and a few of them wouldnt stop playing with my instruments i went to the percussion closet to grab the woodblock and just stood there hitting myself and about to cry from the fury and the pain, i was so upset. i was a bit dizzy when i came out from hitting my head but mostly my arms just hurt so bad that it took my mind off of being upset.
the scratching is whenever im stressed, angry, upset, scared, ect. basically any negative emotion causes me to do that to take my mind off of it.
is this considered self harm?? and how do i stop doing this please. ive tried punching pillows or stuffed animals but it doesnt do anything.
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sh-culture-is · 17 days
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Sh culture is being fckn deleted on Tumblr after posting your "SFX ALL FAKE"
.
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pokkiebaby · 4 days
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hi cuties
I’m Pokkie, only mutuals will know my name
I s/h and will prolly post a bit abt that or js reblog silly little s/h posts
If you wanna be mentally deranged besties lmk
Discord is: strawberry_mtndew2
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