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#not putting this one under a read more unless people ask
swaps55 · 16 hours
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I have never heard of an epithet before! What does it mean?
This is a great question! You have probably seen many of them, and just not heard them referred to as epithets.
An epithet is more or less a descriptive word or phrase that stands in the place of a name or a pronoun, such as, “the taller man,” or “the brown-haired woman.” In my experience, fanfic writers in particular tend to latch onto them, especially when trying to create variety in scenes with two characters who share the same pronouns.
I’ll put my thoughts on them under the cut, because I have Opinions on epithets, but I am not An Authority. I’m not your mom. I’m not here to tell you what to do or how to write, and I’m not here to ruin your fun, but we all have the hills we’ll die on and this one is mine. If you are a fan of epithets, just give this post an eyeroll or the finger and scroll on. If you want to know more about epithets and why I think writers can and should avoid them, read on!
Let me get this out of my system: I loathe epithets. Do whatever you want with your oxford comma, but take your epithets out back and shoot them.
Okay, now that’s out of the way, I’ll be a little more constructive about the purpose epithets serve and why I think they are so frequently used poorly.
In my experience, they’re often used as a tool to avoid pronoun confusion, but it’s an inelegant tool that can become a crutch. You have two characters of the same gender in a scene, you have already used their names in a sentence, but the pronoun antecedent is unclear unless you name the character again. You don’t want to do that because it feels repetitive, so you pick out a physical quality and use that instead. Problem solved! Except instead of solve the problem, you’ve potentially introduced new ones.
Nuance is important, and to talk tools we should be using the same toolbox, so for the sake of this argument I’m going to assume we’re talking about 3rd person limited POV, because that’s what I generally see, read, and write the most of.
Chances are very high that the descriptor you chose for your epithet derived from you the writer’s perception of the character being described and not the POV character. This is important, because if you are writing in 3rd person limited, the way you describe other people is how the POV character sees the person being described.  
Now tell me. Have you ever thought of a close friend, a lover, or someone whose name you know as, “the taller woman,” or “the dark-haired man?” Have you ever thought about YOURSELF in these terms? Probably not. I have never looked at my Real Life Romance Option and thought of him as “the brown-eyed man” or “the taller man.” I’ve also quite frankly never consciously thought of him as “my lover.” Is he all of those things? Yes. But from my POV, those are never descriptors I would use for him. Once you know a person’s name, they tend to become Their Name and not ‘Random Characteristic” in your mental picture of them.
So when you default to Random Characteristic, it’s usually the writer talking, not the character. And chances are high that the characteristic you choose to represent is not something that is important to the POV character or the scene in that moment. Therefore, is it significant enough to the reader that it clearly identifies the character, or does the reader now have to stop and think, ‘wait, which one is taller?’ So instead of eliminate confusion, you may have actually introduced more of it.
And even if it is an important detail, stating it as a fact is generally a lot less effective than making it part of the character work being done in the scene. For example:
“Can you help me reach this?” Jed asks the taller man. Leo stops chopping vegetables to oblige, and snags the wine glass the shorter man couldn’t reach off the shelf.
Vs.
Jed sighs as he makes another futile swipe with his fingers and barely grazes the bottom of the shelf. He looks over at Leo, blissfully chopping vegetables in a world where stepstools are for other people. “Can you help me reach this?” Leo sets the knife down and looms behind him, effortlessly snagging the wine glass and handing it to Jed with a grin.   
Hopefully, the second example feels more impactful than the first, because the height difference became part of the scene, and not just a descriptor cosplaying as a pronoun.
Epithets become even more distracting when they become part of a prose style rather than just a means to avoid pronoun confusion or name repetition. I see a lot of writers make the stylistic choice to have a POV character refer to themselves as an epithet right alongside the epithets being thrown around for other characters, and there are so many crammed into a paragraph or two I can’t figure out who is doing what.
At best, epithets are distracting. At their worst, they’re actively confusing when their purpose is to do the opposite.
“But Swaps, if I don’t use an epithet, how do I avoid pronoun confusion without wanting to throw myself out a window?”
This is a problem every writer contends with, whether you’re writing same gender smut, combat, or just have two people of the same gender doing things in a scene together. And unfortunately, this is one of those ways in which writing is hard. When you have some pronoun confusion in a sentence you can’t wriggle your way out of, the answer is probably to try a different sentence. Break the sentence up. Structure it differently. Finding the better sentence is part of becoming a better writer. 
If repetition is what you’re concerned about, know that just saying a character’s name and using their pronoun is okay. It’s like ‘said.’ ‘Said’ isn’t a trendy word that goes in and out of style. It’s a building block word that blends into the background. Can you get fancier than ‘said?’ Sure! But do it with purpose. Don’t be afraid to use a character’s name. It’s their name. It’s what you’re supposed to call them. Why are we fighting so hard to respect people’s names and pronouns if all we’re going to do is replace them with epithets? (Kidding. Mostly.) And if you’re using their name so much it’s interfering with readability…it’s probably time to revisit a few of those sentences and figure out what the better sentence is.
When can you use an epithet?
I joke that there are no exceptions to my There Are No Good Epithets stance, but there are. Sort of. Because rules are made to be broken, though I do believe you should understand why the rule exists before you break it, and you should break it with purpose.
Here’s the easy one.  
Epithets are useful when the POV character doesn’t know a character’s name. Now you have to use something else! And here’s the great thing about that: the epithet is now a vehicle for characterization. What about this stranger stands out enough to get the POV character’s attention? Do they notice a physical characteristic? Clothes? Attitude? What does the thing they notice say about the POV character and the character being observed?
For instance, my POV character is eavesdropping on a conversation between two people in a restaurant. You could grab the low hanging fruit and describe them as, “the brunet woman” and the “older man.” Or you could make your scene work harder. “The man with the punchable face,” or “the woman who makes eye rolling an art form.” Or how about, “the woman wearing fake pearls,” shorthanded to Fake Pearls Woman, and “the man with the name-brand suit that’s seen better days,” shorthanded to Shabby Suit. Now you’ve said something about the characters that place them in a more useful context than their hair color – you’ve said something about them that helps inform the scene, and how your POV character observes the world around them.    
Are there other instances where you can effectively use an epithet? Yes, if you are using them like this: with narrative purpose. And in those cases, is it really just an epithet anymore? It is in that yes, it is a descriptor taking the place of a name or pronoun, but it’s doing a lot more heavy lifting now. Maybe you have a character who chronically can’t remember or can’t be assed to remember people’s names. The epithet is now a means of characterization. Maybe you have a Jekyll and Hyde style character, in which a descriptor of those different personas becomes a means of setting a scene or crafting their relationship with the POV character. These descriptors are narrative vehicles being used with intention. “The other man,” is rarely a tool being used with any real intention. If there is an instance of it, I have never seen it.
Now, if reading this makes you second guess your own work, or to feel like you write wrong, or if the thought of going to painstaking lengths to rewire sentences you would typically use an epithet in gives you hives, there’s an easy solution: forget about this post.
Because fanfic is supposed to be fun. It’s your hobby. You are not getting paid for it. You don’t have to use a specific writing style, or meet anyone else’s expectations. That’s part of what makes fanfic such a beautiful thing. You can do whatever makes you happy. Not me, not anyone else. If you fucking love using epithets, use them. If you think I am made of bullshit, give this post the finger like I initially suggested and write five epithets just to spite me. No one will stop you, certainly not me. Though I will continue hating epithets, because you can’t stop me, either. XD
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wordy-little-witch · 19 hours
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Hellooo how are you? i just wanna ask wat r ur nsfw headcanons abt crossguild polycule😳
Also i love ur posts❤️
Hiya, honey bee! I'm doing alright, all things considered, thanks for asking, lovely ♡ just sleepy lmaooo
Cross guild my beloved aaaa okay so I'm gonna put the NSFW ones under a cut bc of the content warnings~
Thanks for the ask, I appreciate you!!!!! And thanks for reading, hun ♡ drink water, have a snack if you can, take any medicine you have prescribed and stay safe ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
18+ BELOW vvv
Okay NSFW stuff lezzgo. I am. Genuinely debating doing the consent charts here for each of them, then a layered one with them compared to each other.
Keep in mind, these are my head canons, and I adore when they're different takes and opinions, I think variety is awesome ♡♡♡♡
So let's start with the biggest of our guild boys!!
Crocodile:
FTM, Top surgery done in his early adult years through a series of oddly aligning events, bottom surgery looked into but rendered unneeded via Ivankov's hormones
Likes/Preferences
This man is a SWITCH, he usually Doms and prefers topping, coming from some older dysphoria issues, but honestly? Is open to submitting and bottoming to others when the need arises on a case by case basis.
Not exactly vanilla, but sometimes the intimacy there is nice.
Is fairly ace-spec, all things considered, sees sex as not a need but something enjoyable. Doesn't always even get off during sex, just enjoys the power and rush he gets from his partners. Took a very long time to realize that for himself. Sex positive!
Sadomasochist. Prefers causing the pain, but scratching and biting are HELLA approved for him
Marks marks marks
Idk if there's and actual word for it, but Crocodile LOVES dressing his partner up in finery just to ruin them. Also discovered an additional kink there which will be talked about later on. (See mixed)
He has wild stamina and ca go maybe three rounds before he needs to stop or pause.
Objectively the best at eating out, can and will make one partner moan out loud and the other outright cry.
Mihawk
Cis (?) insofar as he's a man by technicality. He is a SWORDSMAN by choice. He identifies as a threat, and that is not for ironic jokes. Honestly, to Mihawk gender feels complicated and stupid. 0/5 stars, hates it. He could not be paid to give a fuck about that sort of thing beyond his immediate people's happiness.
On that note, also doesn't care what parts someone has or what they identify as. If he likes you, he likes you, that's all there is. Doesn't use labels. Does admit to being more oredominantly attracted to masculine individuals. It is simply Mihawk and The Vibe.
Onwards to the thoughts!!!!
True Switch. Doesn't care. Enjoys dominating, enjoys submitting, likes topping, likes bottoming, but it's a case by case and person by person basis.
Choking. Idk, but something about holding someone by the throat and feeling their skin and muscles and heartbeat under his fingers gives him a rush, I bet.
Not particularly into sadism or masochism specifically, but does enjoy some of the semi-connected things. Knife play is a given, as well as blood play, and ironically hot wax
Trust is big to him.
Sensory play.
Has a personal rule that his partner has to cum at least once before he even thinks about his own pleasure unless that's the pre-established play they're doing that scene.
On that front - service top/service bottom.
Praise and degradation kink, surprisingly enough
Breeding kink
He Will Bite. With consent of course.
Really enjoys edging and teasing his partners. Doesn't like it as much for himself but doesn't DISlike it either.
Disinterest kink, he likes to make his lovers beg for attention and feigning disinterest.
Cockwarming.
Something about making a mess in the bedroom is simply PERFECT for him.
Honestly, Mihawk is down to try anything at least once and isn't too surprised to find new things that he enjoys.
Stamina is INSANE, but goes about one round, maybe 2, before needing to step back. Dw though, he's not leaving. He can ruin someone with more than just that option.
Buggy
AFAB masc nonbinary, no surgeries, Iva's hormones do not work on him, and he makes his own. Had a partial hysterectomy as a child before his Devil Fruit due to a... bad situation. Has numerous scars as well from before then and even a few after when he was learning the limits of his Fruit and the partial immunity to Haki.
Could top, hypothetically, but really does enjoy bottoming more. Will try topping if a partner really wants it, but feels weird and awkward the whole time - only realized that doing it despite his discomfort was not only not healthy but the partners who pushed and pushed for it from him were pushing the boundaries of consent at best. ((Had to talk Mihawk out of hunting the people down for a Talk, had to convince Crocodile and surprisingly Daz out of adding some extra bounties for it ((they still did))))
Will dom!! Enjoys being a power bottom honestly. Subbing is a guilty pleasure he rarely got to indulge in due to his absolutely insane trust issues, but once Mihawk and Crocodile earned that trust from him, he'll be the sweetest or brattiest sub on this planet, just for them
Really good with his mouth.
He's a screamer. Tries to stay quiet but never can on his own.
He falls apart sometimes during intense sex.
He's mortified by it, but he has a daddy kink and the first time he called one of his partners daddy he didn't even realize until Mihawk grabbed him by the neck just so, squeezed, forcing his head to tilt back and see blazing gold and molten violet just for someone to growl "cum for daddy, baby" and his vision went white. He was flustered for DAYS after that. ((Their light hearted teasing did not help, nor did their exploitation of the newly found On Button))
Exhibition kink but not publicly
Breeding kink
Size queen
Likes being manhandling
BIG on being marked up and claimed. ((11/10, would wear a collar if it could stay on permanently))
Together
Neither Crocodile or Mihawk had any opinion on makeup until Buggy - when they get to a certain point with his mascara and eyeliner running, lipstick smudged, eyeshadow casting his face in technicolor bruises, they are besotted and burning in equal measure.
Crocodile finds he apparently has a THING for his lovers in lace, something found purely by circumstance and he felt foolish for not ever noticing before. Is equally flustered when they both use it against him.
After Buggy's moment with calling them Daddy, something Awakened in Croc and Hawk. Words like Sir and Master were familiar but this? Ohhhh it hits Different.
They're all pretty partial to BDSM but they also can be really vanilla too. It's cute and sweet.
Buggy's thigh thighs get their own section ♡
Alright that's all I have rn but I hope you enjoyed!!!!
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asmfic · 1 year
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why have so many trans characters doesn't that seem like a bit much
Funnily enough, I initially agreed with this ask. In the original pitch for ASM there was only going to be one textually trans character, Homura. That's not to say that the others couldn't be interpreted as trans, but I wasn't putting intentional thought into writing them that way.
But then my cowriter convinced me to be more self-indulgent. Because ultimately, this is something we're writing for fun and so. Why not?
But it's more than just simply putting them in because I want to, though that is justification enough. One of the things that we are trying to do with ASM is to show a range of different experiences. This manifests through different viewpoints, philosophies, and yes, genders.
Even amongst all of the trans girls in ASM, they each have different experiences. Mami is someone who came out young, with the support of her parents. Kyoko is someone who didn't have a supportive environment and so had to make do with illusion when she could get away with it, someone grappling with a sense of self. Homura is someone who... well, as written in ASM, Homura realised she was trans soon before she made her wish. Kirika is someone who knew for a long time but buried it beneath an attitude of self loathing until she made her wish.
Even among people with similar gender identities, I wanted to show a range of experiences. Hopefully, so that people out there could connect with some of them. Because one of the major things to me about ASM is that if someone comes away from the story with even just one element of a character or bit of the story that sticks with them, then I've done my job as a writer. Yes, I want to tell a coherent and engaging story, but I also want my work to speak to people.
And besides, Trans people tend to flock together. Combine that with Kyubey's targetting of vulnerable people and you get a viable group of trans people.
Another part of showing off different experiences is the different journeys people have had. While a lot of the characters have realised things about themself before the start of the story, not all have. Kiori is currently actively unpacking his gender, and will be trying different pronouns and ways of address until they find what suits them. Sayaka is currently deeply repressing a LOT of things, one of them being their gender.
And while some have their gender be a important part of their story, some don't. Haruka being trans will barely come up in ASM, up until I put it on the blog it was never mentioned in anything at all honestly.
Also, the Kanames are there for the experience of older trans people in a setting filled with teenagers. We got the flashback to show a bit of the complexities that the both of them were struggling with as kids, but now, as adults, they've mostly settled into themselves. They're people who know who they are and are a sign that the kids can grow up and be adults.
In the end, ASM is supposed to be a story about differing people and experiences and, from my experiences as a trans woman, part of that is gender.
While the main cast has a lot of trans people, there's plenty of cis people too. A large chunk of the Oriko Magica cast are, and we'll meet more and more. There will be no shortage of cis people, I assure you.
Madoka Magica deals with a lot of struggles around identity. With Madoka unsure of who she is and who she wants to be, taking in advice and learning from the people around her and all their different experiences. Is it really a stretch to add gender to that?
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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months
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#this one's like a fucking mystery. who's that pokémon?? what pokémon is this?? you can't fucking tell unless you open the cut or read below#where i tag what pokémon it is. i think i'm gonna put this one's tags above the actual name of the pokémon just to throw y'all for a loop#because this one? i don't even KNOW what counts as front-facing. i'm ASSUMING it's the top one?? but the prey eyes are just#unbelievable so i included that one under the cut. i don't even know if i can consider that “prey eyes” at this point. what is this thing??#what's the thing protruding?? a mouth?? it doesn't lend itself to making it look any more like a moon! it just— it just protrudes!!#i really just don't understand. what or why this pokémon is or exists. what type is it? pure psychic?#nnnNNAURP rock/psychic. can't believe i forgot about the rock typing considering the way that guy with the solrock in swsh#raid battles used it. whatever i think i've successfully revealed what pokémon this is by now#lunatone#and yes‚ i know now that zangoose walks on all fours in pmd. THANK YOU!!! FOR TELLING ME. EVERYONE ON TUMBLR#i got it when the first person told me. i looked them up. i saw them. with my eyes. i feel like i've talked about pmd enough in these tags#and in asks that i've answered that you all should know how much of a pmd fan i am by now but i guess it's GOOD TO CONFIRM#perhaps no one really does read these tags. unless they have an opportunity to correct me. lasered in on that#i'm not like mad i'm just like WOW everyone told me. that is SO many people telling me after the first one did and i know SO hard#anyway. i'm gonna go remove these tags from the dusclops post. pphhhheew
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marvelouslizzie · 6 months
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Pretty Little Thing - co-written with @notafunkiller
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Summary: Your long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, is a regular at the bar where you work, and tonight, it's impossible to avoid serving him for the first time.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: +18, alcohol, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 3.8K
A/N: @notafunkiller and I merged our separate ideas into one and this is the outcome. It was so much fun to write. We hope it'll me the same while reading too.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
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You thought this night would be calm and easy, that nothing significant would happen. All that changed when Bucky Barnes set foot in the bar. It’s not his first time here by any means, but until now you successfully managed to avoid him by asking the other bartender to serve his side. This time, unfortunately, you are working alone. It’s a slow night, so there’s no way you can really avoid him.
You watch him find an empty place and sit down, and you really don’t know what to do. You can feel yourself sweating already. You are so nervous. Not because you are afraid of him or anything. He doesn’t look scary. Not to you. You are afraid to embarrass yourself in front of him, but you should be able to ask for his order and serve it without messing it up. That’s not so hard. 
Just keep it simple, you tell yourself.
“Hey, what can I get you?”
Bucky looks up from his phone straight into your eyes, and you freeze a little.
“Hello, do you... a draft beer, please.”
His answer confuses you. That’s not his usual order. 
“You sure you don’t want something stronger? We have that bourbon.” You curse yourself internally for paying attention and not being able to hold your tongue.
He raises his eyebrow surprised. “How do you know that? There is no way you served me any drinks cause I would remember you.”
He frowns as soon as he finishes speaking. Maybe you helped your colleague or maybe you were informed about what he drinks just in case he showed up. He’s still the Winter Soldier after all.
“I never served you before.” You say with a shy smile. You hope this is enough of an answer for him.
“Do I look like a bourbon man?” He asks playfully before giving you a smile that transforms his face a little, softening his features. 
“You look like you enjoy quality stuff, and between you and me, our draft beer is shitty.”
That comment makes him chuckle. You’re so distracted by his face that you don’t notice how his eyes fall straight to your breasts.
“Thanks for the tip. Normal beer then?”
“If you insist.” You smile and open the small fridge under the bar where you keep some of the beers. You quickly open it and put it right in front of him, not realizing that gesture shows off your bartender skills a little bit.
He doesn’t look away from you as he takes a big sip before placing the bottle on the table quickly.
“For how long have you been working here?”
“For the past year.” You avoid making eye contact while drying some of the freshly washed glasses.
“Oh.” He sounds kind of taken aback. “I’m surprised you never served me. I’ve been coming here for what? Seven months?”
“Eight.” You bite your bottom lip as soon as the word slips out, trying to shut yourself up so you won’t mess up even more. What were you thinking? Well, you weren't…
His eyes immediately glow, and you wonder if you fucked up for good.
“So you’ve been keeping an eye on me?” He brings the bottle to his mouth and before you can say anything, you watch him finishing it in one go.
“I just noticed you.” Of course, you kept an eye on him, but you played it down a little.
“Well, I didn’t notice you,” he says regretfully. “And I wonder how. I am pretty aware of my surroundings... especially if they are full of beautiful people like you.”
You can’t help but blush, yet you try to sound unaffected. You don’t know if you succeed or not, though.
“This place is usually so crowded and full of… people. So it’s normal.”
“Neah,” he denies immediately. “Have you been hiding or something?”
“I was just on the other side of the bar.” And you were trying to hide from him, saving yourself from this embarrassment because you knew if you talked to him you would fuck up. You were right.
“So I was on the wrong side this whole time.” He shakes his head. “Another beer, please, doll.”
“The same?” You ask while trying not to dwell on the pet name he uses.
“Yes, please. And one drink for you. Whatever you want, if you are allowed to drink, of course.”
The way he offers to buy you a drink surprises you. You feel quite nervous, but you try to maintain your calm. He’s probably just being nice, right? 
“I am allowed to drink, but that’s not necessary.”
He pouts. “I didn’t mean you need to talk to me for it, doll. There are no conditions for this drink.”
“Oh.” You didn’t even think he would take it this way. “That’s not why I said it’s not necessary. I wasn’t worried about that.”
“Okay. Whatever you want... I won’t insist.”
“It’s just… I am allowed to drink whatever I want. You don’t need to pay for it.” You try to explain so he won’t take it the wrong way.
“Alright,” he says, a little distant, as you open up another bottle of beer and put it in front of him. 
“I just didn’t want you to pay extra when I can get it for free.” You don’t know why you are explaining yourself like this. It’s normal not to accept drinks from customers.
“It’s fine, I totally understand. Thank you!” He reaches for the bottle immediately.
You take a fancy glass out of the rack and pour yourself one of the ready-to-serve cocktails that your colleague prepared, right in front of him. He doesn’t say anything as he keeps staring at your hands.
“Thanks for the drink.” You say while putting the bottle away.
“Me?” He asks surprised. “Thought this is on the bar.”
“Well, you gave me the idea, and if you really insist on spending your money so unnecessarily, who am I to stop you?”
“That’s a good attitude.” He smiles again before bringing his bottle close to your glass. “Cheers to a good Thursday in a lovely company.”
You clink your glass with a smile on your face. It seems like he finally understood your intention, so you feel relieved. 
“How does that taste?”
“Don’t let the color fool you, it tastes really strong but delicious.” You look at him for a second and notice that got his interest. “Wanna taste it?” You offer your own drink to him, and he contemplates for a few seconds before leaning in.
“Yes, I am curious.”
You hand the glass to him. Your fingers touch for a second, and you get so excited that you worry about dropping the glass. It’s like your heart is in your throat.
“Your hands are cold,” he comments casually before taking a sip right from the spot covered by your lipstick. You gasp. You have no idea if he did it on purpose, but the way he’s drinking it… your body is responding to that so much. You clear your throat, trying to calm yourself down. 
“Delicious.” He smiles, handing back your glass, and you notice a bit of lipstick in the corner of his mouth.
It creates this internal dilemma. Should you just let him know about it or act like nothing happened and let him walk around like this? The second one could cause him a lot of embarrassment, and you don’t wanna be the reason for that. That’s why you suddenly find yourself leaning closer to him, just to wipe the lipstick off. He doesn’t move an inch, not jumping like you would expect, letting you touch him. When you realize what you are doing, you suddenly feel super self-conscious. 
“You…” You gulp down. “You have… lipstick on… just here.” 
You keep rubbing your finger against the corner of his mouth. You feel his stubble and how soft his lips are, but you try not to think about it. He chuckles, covering your hand with his. It surprises you so much that you freeze for a second. Then you look into his eyes, struggling to see if you made him feel uncomfortable or not.
“So considerate of you. Thank you.”
You move your hand away from his mouth but not away from his touch. Somehow you can’t find the strength to do that. 
What he does next, though, makes you completely breathless. He brings your hand to his mouth again, but this time he presses his lips gently against your skin, smiling right after. Your eyes open with surprise, feeling completely speechless, yet you don’t move away. You don’t even realize you are smiling slightly.
“Your hands are still so cold.”
“Yeah…” You try to speak, but it feels like your words are stuck in your throat. “They are always cold.”
“We need to change that.” He places another kiss on your hand.
*
He’s surprisingly nervous as he leads you to the living room. Based on his confidence back in the bar, you didn’t expect him to become so shy all of a sudden.
“Do you want some coffee?”
“No.” You answer quickly. The only thing you want is to feel his lips again but you keep that thought to yourself.
“What do you want then?” 
It’s obvious in his tone and the way he looks at you he doesn’t ask you about drinks.
“You.” You can’t believe you said this out loud, but it’s the truth.
He doesn’t need another push as he comes closer, grabbing you by the chin. Your lips crash together with an almost desperate hunger. He takes the opportunity immediately, getting his tongue inside your mouth in a fervent exploration. The sensation is electrifying.
You let him explore your mouth while you focus on his taste. It’s so unique and tasty, you just can’t get enough of it. Your hands slowly move toward the back of his head, pulling him closer.
“Fuck,” he groans when he feels your touch, breaking the kiss just to move his lips to your neck. 
“Mhmm… James.” His lips feel so good against your neck. It just sends a jolt of arousal through your body.
But then he freezes, with his mouth glued to your neck. You open your eyes confused wanting to ask him what happened, and that’s when you realize what you’ve just said.
“You know who I am?” His voice is a warm whisper against your skin.
“Of course, I know who you are.” You make it sound so natural as if there’s no way you wouldn’t know who he is. “You think I go to the houses of men I don’t know?” You say playfully.
“I didn’t mean that...” He raises his head from the crook of your neck just to look you in the eye. “I didn’t mean it offensively, I just wasn’t sure. I’m just stupid, I didn’t expect it.”
“I know who you are, James Bucky Barnes.”
“Fuck,” he groans, bringing his thumb to your bottom lip. “Say it again.”
“James Bucky Barnes or just James?”
He kisses you more desperately than before, his hands finding your hips as he gently grabs them, pulling you so close that you can feel his erection. You gasp so softly, but he hears it anyway, and you settle on his hard cock so it’s right against where you want it to be.
He moans. “Let’s go to the bedroom, doll.”
“Why?” You ask innocently as if you don’t know what he means. “Isn’t your couch comfortable enough?”
For him? Sure. But for you?
“The bed is better.”
“Okay.” You sound so obedient suddenly as you wrap your legs around his torso.
He immediately lifts you up without effort, and you smile, letting him carry you toward his room. He’s a super soldier after all. He closes the door with his foot as soon as you’re inside, then he gently puts you on the bed, like he’s afraid you might break. The way he’s acting is so endearing, but you want him to let go really badly. Even the manner he starts to take off your pants is too gentle.
You let him undress you the way he wants, though. Then you move closer to him, taking his clothes off, your movements not as gentle as his. You are impatient and needy. You see him holding his breath when you reach to touch his chest, close to where his metal arm begins, so you lean in to leave a kiss right there. You don’t know if you are crossing a line, but you have to. He should know that this is not something that would bother you, on the contrary, it turns you on even more. When he doesn’t move away from you, you keep kissing around his scars and his chest. Your hand is on his shoulder, gently caressing.
 “That feels so good, doll,” he says with a sigh before he grabs your waist. “but it's time for me to eat.”
You find yourself on your back so suddenly that you don’t even have time to react. He quickly settles between your legs and you understand exactly what he meant. He lifts them enough so you can rest them on his shoulders as he gets more comfortable on his tummy. You feel a hole in your stomach immediately. You can’t believe Bucky is between your thighs, about to eat you out.
He’s taking his sweet time at first, kissing down your thighs and even smelling you before he finally brings his tongue to your entrance.
“Come on, James. Don’t tease me.” You look down just to see him smiling.
“Why not? You seem to enjoy it.”
“I would enjoy it more if you stopped teasing and started eating.”
Surprisingly, Bucky doesn’t waste more time and properly starts to fuck you with his tongue. He’s not too quick, nor too slow with his moves, and you’re shocked when he brings his fingers to your mouth. 
“Need you to make them wet for me, please.” Even while saying that, he sounded a little too polite.
“On one condition,” you say, looking directly into his eyes. “Stop acting like I am made of glass.”
“But you kinda are.”
“I am not. Believe me.”
He says nothing, making sure to lick your slit before getting his tongue inside you again, his fingers, glued to your lips. You take it as a silent agreement and you open your mouth, suck his fingers, and let him wet them. When he thinks it’s enough, he gently takes them out and brings them right to your clit. He doesn’t touch it directly at first, teasing around it until you move your hips a little, needing to feel your clit stimulated.
“Please.” The way he’s taking his sweet time is so frustrating.
He lets his hand drop and instead of feeling his fingers on your clit, you feel his tongue at the same time he gets a finger inside you. You moan loudly, finally getting what you wanted from the start.
His other hand reaches for yours when he hears you grabbing the sheet, and you immediately hold it, enjoying how his cold metal feels. When you feel the second finger and he scissors both of them inside you, you’re shocked by how close you suddenly are. You can’t help but arch your back and move your hips, needing it faster.
He reads the signals pretty quickly and lets you use his mouth while he keeps pumping his fingers. It doesn’t take long for you to gasp, moan, and start to shake because of the pleasure he’s giving you. 
“James! Shit. I’m- gonna… ahh… come.”
You moan louder than you expected, dropping your head against his sheets, possessed by a great wave of pleasure. You want to tell him not to stop anything, but you can’t. And you don’t need to as he keeps licking and fingering you while you ride your orgasm out, prolonging it as much as possible.
When it’s done, you are feeling so good yet you are hungry for more. You raise your head a little and see Bucky still between your legs, but this time his beard is covered with your slick. He looks so handsome. His blue eyes are shining and his hair is all messy. It makes you wanna kiss him and that’s exactly what you do. You reach down to him, and he meets you in the middle, kissing you the way he was just eating you out: with passion and hunger.
He’s less gentle than before as you feel his hands grabbing your breasts, but it’s still not enough. You cover his hands with yours and push him to grab them harder than before. You let out a muffled moan while kissing him.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
You find yourself blushing like you two aren’t having sex. To mask your reaction, you reach out to his hard cock, gently grabbing it.
“Oh god,” he groans as he instinctively squeeze your breasts harder.
“Mhmm, yes.” You lean into his touch. “Just like that.”
Bucky looks at you as if you said something shocking. Is he not used to communicating during sex?
“What? Did I do something wrong?”
“You’re surprising me for someone so delicate.”
“I told you, I am not.”
He smiles. “Do you wanna help me put on a condom then?”
“I would love to, but…” You smile. “What if I told you I am clean and on the pill?”
“Fuck, I need you.” He kisses you suddenly. “Now.”
“I am right here.” It sounds so calming. “You can take me however you want.”
You’re not only on your back in the next second, but you also have his cock lined up at your entrance.
“Jesus, doll! For a pretty little thing, you’re quite nasty.”
“I just know what I want.” And this is it.
He nods, wrapping your legs around his ass at the same time he pushes inside you. In a second, your head is thrown back while you moan loudly. The way he fills you is so delicious. It makes you feel so full but not uncomfortable.
“You’re taking me so well already.”
“Please…” You raise your hips to create more friction. “Please, move.”
He brings his mouth to your breast a little before he starts thrusting, making sure to leave a small hickey right on top of it. It hurts so good, and you moan without holding back. It is music to Bucky’s ears. He just wants to hear it again, so he does it again.
“You want it rough, don’t you?” He thrusts harder than before. “You’re so needy.”
“Yeah.” Your voice is so shaky already. “I told you already.”
“Told me what?” He teases. “I don’t remember.”
“That I am not made of glass.”
“No, you are made for me.” He brings his hand to your face to move the hair strands that cover your eyes. “For my cock.”
“In that case…” You don’t know where the sudden rush of confidence comes from. “You are made for me. To fill me up.” You move your hips again, trying to fuck yourself on him.
“Oh, god. You’re so fucking wet,” he moans. “I am, I’m gonna fill you up so much.” He kisses you suddenly, your teeth almost crashing together because of the thrusts, but you don’t care.
“Can’t wait.” You tease him. “Don’t hold back, okay?”
He says nothing, letting his head drop a little so he can suck on your neck properly. He’s definitely fucking you harder. He pulls until he’s almost completely out of you before thrusting inside you again. And again. And again. It takes your breath away. The way it makes you feel is indescribable. You lose the little remaining control you had and just turn into a moaning mess. 
“Say my name, baby. C-come on.”
“James?” You sound hesitant even if you don’t mean to because you don’t know which name he wants to hear.
“Again,” he begs, his metal arm on your leg pushing it right against his ass.
“James!” This one comes out so naturally. No questions, no hesitation. You just breathe out his name with a moan.
“God, you look so beautiful. So pretty with my cock inside you.” His thrusts get faster, and you have no idea how he can speak so well while you’re a mess.
“I’m so close,” you can barely say without taking a breath in the middle of the sentence.
“What do you want?”
“Just… harder.”
“Like this?” He asks, suddenly thrusting a little harder than before. “Or like this?”
“This! Yes! Just like this!”
“You just want it hard.” He whispers against your ear. “What a dirty girl.”
You hear him, but you can’t respond. You are too busy coming all over his cock, and it feels like you are in heaven. He continues to fuck you as the pleasure fades away, murmuring how pretty you are and how good you make him feel before he comes, too, grabbing the bedpost behind you with his metal arm. It makes a clicking sound, but you don’t care, opening your still foggy eyes just to watch him.
There’s so much come. You can already feel it dripping out of you as he keeps fucking you. You expect it to end soon, but it doesn’t. It goes on and on. The way he loses control as he comes just triggers another orgasm out of you. You would be surprised how quickly you could come again if it didn’t feel overwhelmingly good. You can’t think about anything other than him and the way he makes you feel.
His come is getting all over your thighs and ass, and the bed, as he moans. “Kakaya khoroshaya devochka.” What a good girl.
You can’t help but laugh despite not understanding a word of what he says. “Is that Russian?”
He opens his eyes, and the blue you love is almost completely grey. “Yes.” He sounds confused, too. 
“What does it mean?” Your afterglow can’t overshadow your curiosity. “If you don’t tell me, this isn’t happening again.” You try to make it obvious you aren’t serious with your playful tone. Especially not after those orgasms.
“Look at you, little and feisty, blackmailing me.” He chuckles before leaving a kiss on your lips. “I told you what a good girl you are. I didn’t realize I spoke in Russian.”
You laugh a little. “Say it again.” You give him the cutest look. “Please?”
“Ty moya khoroshaya devochka.” He repeats softly. You’re my good girl.
You don’t even realize how content you look as you keep smiling.
“Now, I can get used to that.”
“Say my name again, please.”
You love the neediness in his voice. “James?” You tilt your head a little. “Or would you prefer Bucky?”
“Fuck, it doesn’t matter.” His thumb is suddenly on your lips. “I can get used to that, too.”
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bbyleiah · 6 months
Text
PREDATOR.
| serial killer Toji comes across you in the creepy hardware store you work in. He initially found you annoying, as you always somehow managed to get in his way but then he became infatuated with you..completely obsessed and set on tying you to him forever. |
cw : serial killer!Toji , black reader, kinda graphic murder scene description, heavy stalking, heavy degradation (bitch, slut, whore, etc.), physical harm(she cuts him, he puts her in a chokehold), threats, manipulation, spitting, choking, blowjob, shoe riding, wet dream, lots of dirty talk, pet names (bun, peach/peaches, little mouse), naive reader, kinda dub-con, nipple play, dry humping, marking, lots of slapping (tit-slapping, pussy slapping, he slaps her in the face once), mating press, fluids, biting, unprotected sex, creampie, dacryphilia, sadist!Toji, masochist!Reader, and probably way more warnings I forgot abt 🥹 (there’s some soft parts in this fic too ☝🏽)
word count : very longgg, so get comfy 🫶🏽
sn : this is my contribution to kinktober 🤲🏾 read at ur own discretion
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You were completely exhausted towards the end of your shift at this hardware store. You’d been here since 11am and it was now going on 9pm. Your feet hurt so bad from standing at the register and you had enough of the weirdos that frequented your store. “Only 30 minutes left..” you muttered to yourself with a sigh as you glanced at the clock.
You’d hoped no more customers would come in during your last few minutes but of course luck wasn’t on your side. Two men came in, one after the other seemingly shopping for different things. One of them seemed like an average creepy suburban dad, wearing khakis and a polo shirt with one of those bushy mustaches. The other man was spooky.
You couldn’t even see his face due to the fact he had a hood hanging perfectly over his head, he was dressed in all black from head to toe. Black boots, black pants, a black zip up jacket that seemed heavy duty, and the man was huge, towering over the shelves in the store. You definitely hoped he’d get whatever he was looking for and leave soon.
You knew you shouldn’t be judging books by their cover but this job was boring and you were a people watcher at heart, it was the only thing that kept you entertained. The suburban dad came up to the register first, purchasing simple things like tape, paint, and nails. “You found everything okay?” You asked, putting on your customer service voice and smile.
“I sure did! Say, what’s a pretty thing like you doing working so late?” The male spoke with a flirtatious lilt that immediately made you uncomfortable. You didn’t even look attractive at the moment, dressed in your work uniform with your curly hair in a messy bun, slight eye bags under your brown eyes, looking beat and worn down from your shift. Men always had the audacity. “Uhm just getting a hard work’s pay, you know?” You tried to laugh it off.
“Mm, hardworking and beautiful. Sounds like a treat. You wouldn’t have to work so hard with me~” He continued his advances, licking his lips as he eyed you. You wanted to throw up, this interaction was disgusting. “No thank you.” You replied as you began to ring up his stuff faster so that he’d leave quicker. “Ah, don’t be so mean. I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.” He purred as he got more into your personal space.
Before you could respond, you saw the man’s face get bashed into the counter. You screamed in horror, it happened so quickly you could barely register it happening. “Fucking creep.” The spooky man spat out in disgust as he let the man go, watching him drop and slump onto the floor. Your eyes were wide in shock and fear as you stared up at the tall violent man.
“Don’t worry, he’s not dead.” The man told you, all nonchalantly in that deep raspy voice of his that sent shivers up your spine. You were too scared to respond or move, just standing there like a little deer prey in headlights. You still couldn’t fully see the man’s face, only seeing his lips and his chin, it appeared that he had a scar on the corner of his mouth.
The man placed his items on the counter casually, ignoring the blood now splattered on it. “Do I have to ring these up myself? Or are you gonna do your job?” He questioned you. “N-No! I got it!” You squeaked, immediately snapping back into work mode as you scrambled to ring up his items. Your hands shaking and tears forming in your eyes.
This man was intimidating beyond belief. You could just feel him staring you down as you haphazardly rung up his items. “Relax little mouse, I’m not gonna hurt you.” The man suddenly said, it seemed like an attempt to comfort you but it honestly only freaked you out more. Especially the pet name he used. You did some breathing to calm yourself though and regain your composure.
Toji wasn’t surprised at how terrified you were of him but he didn’t care. He honestly didn’t mean to attack the guy but Toji was already riled up from a previous altercation he just had and that prick irked his last nerve. Toji felt like the guy rightfully deserved to get his face bashed in. Toji was slightly intrigued by you though, you were mostly well composed despite being scared shitless. It was obvious you were just an innocent little thing though, oblivious to the fact that a serial killer was standing in front of you.
“H-Have a great rest of your night” You stuttered out, not looking at the man as you handed him his bag. He hummed in response, grabbing it from you before he began to leave. You noticed his bruised and bloody knuckles as he grabbed the bag, that man was definitely dangerous and another reason why you should quit this job.
“Wait!” You called out to him once you realized something, it was stupid but you weren’t always the smartest. He stopped in his tracks, looking back at you. “Uh..my shift is over and uh..what am I supposed to do with this guy..?” You sheepishly asked the scary man as you pointed to the unconscious man on the floor. Toji was amused by your question. “Leave him there.” Toji said before he left fully. Leaving you there dumbfounded.
“What the actual fuck?” You said out loud, talking to yourself at this point. You had enough of this shift and this job in general. You let your manager know about the situation and you clocked out and left, leaving the man there just like the dude told you to because there wasn’t much else you could do anyways.
You called your bestfriend on your walk home, ranting to him about everything that happened. “So he just bashed the guy’s head and dipped?! Like nothing?” your friend Oliver exclaimed through the phone. “Yes! I was scared to death. Literally shaking in my boots. I still have no clue what creepster dude even looks like” you huffed.
“Well he kinda sounds like a pussy throbber to be honest…but! he’s psycho which is a major red flag. Plus you know there’s a serial killer roaming around. It’s all over the news.” He hummed. “Ew! He was not a pussy throbber!” You denied even though you blushed a little. “There’s a serial killer roaming? Since when?” You asked, clueless.
“Bitch, do you live under a damn rock?. They’ve been killing people for weeks!. Lord, you’re such an easy victim too, so oblivious to everything.” Oliver sighed while shaking his head even though you couldn’t see him. “Uh actually I have a taser and I took self defense classes. I’d say I’m a pretty tough victim.” You defended. “Girl, you’re delusional.” Oliver cackled.
You knew he was probably right, it was proven by how you were walking alone in the middle of the night right now. Taking alleyways as short cuts which was stupid but you’d walked this path plenty of times and nothing has happened before so you doubted anything would happen. You were so wrong though. You ended up walking towards a fight it seemed, an unfair one at that. The tall male figure beating the shit out of some guy.
You stood there stupidly and watched, even though you knew you should’ve turned around. You let out a scream when you saw the tall male slit the other guy’s throat before stabbing the male repeatedly in the face. The killer immediately snapped his attention on you after hearing your scream. You felt like your heart stopped in that moment, going into panic mode as you instantly turned around and began to run for your life.
You had tuned out your phone call with Oliver, who was still on the line and worried sick. Even though you were running, no one was chasing after you. Toji groaned in annoyance, “Pesky fucking mouse.” He said as he ran his bloody hand down his face in frustration. Toji had never been caught while he was murdering someone before, he was too smooth and precise with his kills but apparently luck was not on his side today at all.
This kill was pretty reckless too but he still hadn’t expected to be seen, and of course it had to be you. Typically he’d kill anyone who got involved with his kills but he knew you were harmless so he was gonna leave you be..for now. You were sobbing once you finally made it to your apartment complex, completely out of breath from sprinting with all your might.
You’d managed to actually respond to Oliver and ease his worries once you stopped freaking out. He still was concerned though and said he’d come visit in the morning and take you to work. You wiped your tears, taking off your uniform and getting into a hot shower. Hoping the shower would soothe you and get you to stop trembling. It helped slightly, but you were still traumatized.
You could barely sleep, tossing and turning in your bed unable to get the visual out of your mind of someone being brutally murdered in front of you. Part of you had the right mind to tell the police about what you saw, but the other part was terrified the killer would come after you next. So you decided the best decision for now would be to stay quiet and out the way.
You probably got about two hours of sleep before you woke up to Oliver banging on your door, hugging you tight the minute you let him in. “I was so worried!. Are you okay? Like actually okay?.” He asked you. You shook your head, “No I’m not, I couldn’t even sleep. I can’t erase it from my mind. First the psycho at the store and then the killer, it’s like the heavens are against me.” You pouted, tears starting to fill your eyes again.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m here now though and we’re gonna get rid of all that bad juju.” Oliver hummed as he cupped your face before hugging you once more. Oliver proceeded to make breakfast for you and help clean your apartment, cracking jokes and being his usual charismatic self. It definitely brought your mood up and eased your mind. You were lucky to have Oliver.
“Alright I wish a motherfucker would try and bother you today. Ain’t no one surviving with me around!” Oliver said as he began to show off his fighting moves while the two of you walked to the hardware shop. You couldn’t help but to laugh, “Oo super scary, so feisty. People are gonna be too spooked to even look at me.” You amused him as you laughed.
“I know, I know. It’s what I do baby.” Oliver said playfully as he winked at you. Little did you know, someone was watching you. Toji was merely keeping an eye on you to see if you squeaked to anyone about what you saw last night. He was surprised to see you smiling and laughing it up as if nothing happened. He assumed you likely told the guy you were walking with, which wasn’t a smart choice. Toji debated whether he should kill the guy or not.
Truthfully he didn’t know what to do about you either, he knew he should kill you because that was the smart thing to do to save his ass and cover his tracks. However, Toji was too intrigued by you. He didn’t know why, maybe it was how pretty you looked whenever you got scared, or how harmless and clueless you appeared to be. But Toji didn’t have it in him to kill you. Toji continued watching the two of you, fascinated by your relationship. It was obvious you two were close, Toji didn’t know how he felt about that.
It’s not like Toji knew you personally so he didn’t care who you spent your time with, but part of him was irked at how happy this guy seemed to make you. You were dreading your shift today, but at least Oliver was gonna stay with you the whole time that was the bright side. Luckily your manager handled the guy that was on the floor, sent him to the hospital and had the blood cleaned up.
There wasn’t too many customers today which was great for you, you just people watched with Oliver and joked around. His presence was always refreshing. Towards the end of your shift a man walked in. It appeared to be the same scary man from last night, although this time he had his hood off allowing you to see his face in all its glory. Oliver gasped, “That man is hot as fuck!. I thought you said only creeps shop here?” He whispered.
“He is a creep! That’s the head smasher!” You exclaimed to Oliver. “Ohh, you lied then. He is a pussy throbber.” Oliver said, making you pop him and he began to laugh. Toji only showed his face because he wanted to see if you recognized him as the killer from last night. It appeared that you only recognized him as the violent customer you encountered so he was grateful for that.
You had to admit to yourself that the man was very attractive but that didn’t excuse the fact that he was terrifying and violent. “New coworker?” Toji asked, talking about Oliver as he came up to the register. His question caught you off guard, “Uh no..it’s still just me. He’s my friend.” You clarified, although you didn’t know if you should be telling this info to this creepy man. “Mhm, her bestie. Had to come protect my girl, things been a little crazy lately.” Oliver hummed as he shamelessly eyed the man down, embarrassing you.
Toji didn’t pay him any mind at all, his attention solely focused on you. The pretty little mouse that’s been getting in his way lately. Oliver noticed Toji’s predatory stare on you. He cleared his throat, “So uh, what’s your name big guy?” Oliver asked him. “None of your business.” Toji responded deadpanned. “Ouch..anyways, you think my girl is pretty?” Oliver cut to the chase. Your eyes widened, a blush filling your cheeks. “Shut up Oli” You muttered to him.
Toji was getting seriously irked with this ‘my girl’ bullshit. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much but everytime your friend said it Toji wanted to cave his teeth in. “You talk too much.” Was Toji’s only response to Oliver, not answering his question. It made you frown a little bit, not like you cared about the guy’s opinion on your looks but it would’ve been nice to hear.
Oliver rolled his eyes, “Welp, this guy’s a dead end. We’ll try the next sexy man because you need to get them cobwebs off that pus-“ Oliver went on before you quickly slapped your hand over his mouth. You were completely embarrassed now. Toji was highly amused, a small smirk creeping onto his face. “I’m so sorry about him, oh my gosh. He indeed does talk too much..” You said to Toji, your face flushed. Toji thought you looked adorable all embarrassed and shy.
“It’s alright. Although I wouldn’t recommend trying the next man, too many crazy people out here these days.” Toji said, even though he himself was the ‘crazy people’ he spoke off. “That’s true..” you sighed as you were reminded of what you witnessed yesterday. “Can you pass me some cigarettes too?” Toji added to his items. “Ugh, nasty. Definitely glad you dodged that bullet.” Oliver muttered in disgust. Toji’s jaw ticked, he was beyond irked with this kid.
Toji hadn’t even been smoking much recently but he’s been too stressed lately and needed something to take the edge off. “I’ll get them for you.” You said and you attempted to grab the pack he asked for but they were high up in the contained case. “I gotchu.” Toji hummed as he suddenly came behind the counter, standing over you and reaching to grab the cigarettes. “You can’t come behind here-“ You squeaked out but got quiet once feeling his intimidating presence over you.
“So you are like a little mouse.” Toji actually grinned as he looked down at you, after hearing the noise you let out that sounded similar to a squeak. You felt your breath get caught in your throat as you looked up at him, locking eyes with the man. His eyes were so dead, void of anything. Just black pools with no soul. “Your eyes are scary..” You mumbled out without thinking. “That’s a compliment little mouse.” Toji replied as he grinned still.
“You afraid of me?” Toji taunted, his voice low as he leaned closer to you, his nose brushing against yours and his breath fanning against your face. You were trembling, you were terrified to say the least. But something about him was intoxicating. “I-I am..” you managed to breathe out. “Smart girl.” Toji hummed in response. Toji didn’t know why he felt the urge to mess with you but you were just such a treat to his deranged mind. So easily frightened and breakable.
You were so pretty too. Freckles scattered across your perfect brown skin, hair curly and thick and falling over your shoulders, mesmerizing brown eyes filled with so much emotion and life. You were everything that he wasn’t, and he liked that. “What’s your name?” You asked him softly, repeating the same question Oliver had asked him. You were so curious to know now. You doubted he’d tell you but you wanted to take the chance.
Toji was silent. Just staring you down as he contemplated wether or not he should tell you. He wasn’t meant to be known, especially not by an average person like you. But for some reason he wanted you to know his name. Toji moved his mouth towards your ear, his lips brushing against your earlobe and giving you goosebumps. “Toji.” He whispered darkly into your ear, only for you to hear. You felt lightheaded at this point from interacting with this man.
Toji then pulled away and turned around, grabbing the items he purchased and leaving the store. He pulled his hood back over his head as he walked off into the darkness. You were speechless, mind still processing everything. “Well shit, maybe he isn’t a dead end after all.” Oliver spoke up, he watched the whole scene unfold quietly. “He wants youuu, gonna creep under your bed and snatch you up.” Oliver teased with a cackle.
“Hush!” You said as you popped Oliver on his arm, embarrassed. Although the thought that Toji might want you wasn’t so bad, even though he was clearly a walking red flag that you should probably stay far away from. You finished off your shift with no complications this time and you walked home with Oliver. The two of you hugged as he dropped you off at your doorstep.
You sighed and did your usual night routine before you collapsed into bed. While you were sleeping though, Toji had expertly broken into your apartment. He knew he had no reason to be in your home but it was just too easy and too tempting for him. Toji was covered in blood, having killed three people tonight but he made sure not to leave a single smidge of blood inside your tidy home.
Toji stood at your bedroom door, the door wide open. He watched you as you slept peacefully, the slow rise and fall of your chest so fascinating to him. Toji didn’t know why he was so fixated on you but he couldn’t stop himself from stalking you. Part of him figured the reason he was infatuated with you was because you were so regular that you gave him a glimpse of sanity. Toji was very mentally deranged and you were the opposite of that.
You felt that lingering feeling of being watched while you slept and it raised a panic in you but you were too afraid to open your eyes to check and see if the feeling was real or not. Toji tilted his head, a small grin pulling to his lips as he saw your breathing pick up. He was curious to see if you’d actually wake up and attack him. Excitement grew inside him as he awaited a reaction from you. It was like he was a demon feeding off your fear. It was so euphoric for him.
The energy of whoever was watching you overtook the room, making you feel suffocated in their presence as fear consumed you. Tears began to well up behind your closed eyes, clutching your blanket closer to you as tried to pretend sleep like a toddler hiding from a ghost, hoping the creep wouldn’t get you if you continued your act. Toji cooed at the sight, it was truly adorable how naive you were, thinking so lightly of the dangers around you.
It only made him want to mess with you more, addicted to how easily frightened you were. Toji took a few more tentative steps towards the bed, the weight of his footsteps sounding through the hardwood flooring. The sound sent chills down your body, a quiet sob slipping out your mouth before you could stop it. Toji’s keen ears heard it though, a sadistic grin forming on his lips at the cute noise. It satisfied his twisted soul.
“good night little mouse.” his low voice whispered darkly and tauntingly into your room, you felt like your heart stopped in that moment. You immediately recognized the voice, now regretting ever encountering the man who frequented your hardware shop. Toji swiftly exited your apartment after that, he knew by now that you knew it was him. He purposely wanted you to know though, wanting to scare you shitless.
But also, wanting to assert his claim over you. You were his new fixation, his current drug, he still couldn’t fully understand his entrancement with you but all he knew was that you were his now and that you needed to know that too. You felt like you could finally breathe once his presence was gone, letting out a shaky exhale and instantly bursting into full on tears. You didn’t know what else to do but cry, if you were smart you would’ve called the police but instead you called your comfort person again, Oliver.
You incoherently rambled to him about your dire situation, your words all choked up and jumbled from your nonstop tears. He didn’t waste any time coming to your aid, not needing to hear much more. You turned on all the lights inside your apartment as you anxiously waited for Oliver to arrive, the lights providing you some sort of false comfort from the monster that now lingered in your shadows.
The relief that washed over you once Oliver came was immeasurable, he held you and gave you a shoulder to cry on. “That fucking creep. I’ll kill him for you sweetie. I swear.” Oliver huffed, worried sick and filled with rage at the thought of you being in harm. You sniffled and snuggled deeper into Oliver’s embrace, eventually falling asleep from the exhaustion of crying and the distress from being terrified.
You awoke the next morning to the sound of Oliver talking to someone in a hushed manner. You rustled in the bed sluggishly as your heavy eyelids fluttered open slowly. “Oli?” You softly called out in your sleepy voice that was slightly hoarse from your crying. He perked up at the sound, also gaining the attention of the police officer he was currently talking to. “Oh great you’re up! I was just giving this officer the description of creepster.” Oliver said as he came over to you, frowning at the sight of your red puffy eyes.
“Morning ma’am, sorry to hear about the occurrence that took place in your home last night. Your friend has been a great help with all the information he’s provided. I just have one more question, do you happen to know the name of the man that broke into your home?” The officer asked you politely, notepad in one hand and pen in the other, hovering and ready to write. It seemed he’d already written a decent amount on the paper.
You were silent, processing everything still and debating whether to give his name or not. You didn’t know why you were debating it at all, you had no reason to not give up his name, in fact you should be screaming it at the top of your lungs. But for some reason you couldn’t, something in your gut told you not to.
Worries of him coming after you and doing something terrible to you if you revealed his name spooked you too much, and then there was some weird part in your brain that felt like his name held so much power and he told it to you specifically for a reason, almost like a sworn secret between the two of you, or maybe that’s just what your naive mind wanted to believe. “Sweetie?” Oliver interrupted your thoughts softly as he gently grabbed your hand. “Oh, sorry. I don’t know his name.” You finally answered the officer, who let out a soft grunt in disappointment.
“Well that’s okay, I appreciate both of your cooperation, we will get back to you as soon as we get a lead on the guy.” The officer said assertively and politely before he exited your apartment. You could feel Oliver’s stare bore into your head, “You don’t know his name?” He questioned you again. You shook your head, “I don’t. I’m gonna shower.” You changed the subject, getting up and making your way into your bathroom.
At the same time, Toji was lingering around your apartment again, unknowingly to you. He’d been there since early that morning, watching when the police arrived until the moment they left. He’d wondered if his little mouse squeaked on him. Not that it mattered too much if you did, Toji had full confidence he’d never get caught, he was too skilled and experienced. It wasn’t his first time dealing with police and he knew it wasn’t his last.
Now the real problem was your little friend. ‘Always in the way’ Toji thought, irritated with the chatterbox that always seemed to be by your side as your pathetic knight in breakable armor. Toji wanted to kill him, he could already taste the satisfaction that would fill his nerves at the thought of your friend’s blood splattered all over him. He couldn’t act so recklessly at the moment though, and he knew you probably wouldn’t like him so much if he brutally murdered your little sidekick.
Not that Toji cared much about if you liked him or not, but he still couldn’t risk his chances of winning over his cute petrified mouse. You were such a distraction for him lately and you didn’t even know it, he couldn’t get you off his mind for a single second. Always thinking about you, your teary brown eyes, soft chub cheeks, parted plush lips, that innocent fearful look on your face, your shaky breaths and pretty sobs, fuck he was addicted to you and this was just the start of it. His addiction was only gonna get worse until he had all of you completely to himself.
Toji had other business to take care of though than to continue obsessing over you, going on about his tasks for today but he was sure to come back to his little mouse later. “Why did you lie?” Oliver prodded you for answers, following you around the apartment as you cleaned. “I didn’t lie, stop saying that.” You replied, tone agitated as you were growing tired of him accusing you.
“Yes you fucking did. Covering up for that psycho. Are you crazy? They could catch him!” Oliver exclaimed. “I’m not crazy! He could kill me! Did you think about that? Or are you still trying to play captain savior? I don’t know his fucking name so leave it alone!” You finally snapped as you glared at Oliver. He sighed, “I’m sorry..I know you’re going through a lot right now but I just don’t want you to get hurt. But..if you say you don’t know his name then I’ll believe you.” He resigned.
“thank you” you sighed also, “I appreciate you being here for me so much Oliver, it’s understandable that you wanna help as much as possible but there’s only so much we can do.” You said honestly. “You’re right, I just hope that fucking weirdo stays away from now on.” He said while running his fingers through his hair, feeling stressed about the situation as well.
“Wanna eat ice cream and watch romcoms?” He suggested after a moment of silence, you smiled at the offer. “I’d love to.” You happily agreed, plopping down onto the couch and patting the spot beside you signaling Oliver to join, to which he excitedly did. This was great to temporarily clear your mind from the current dark cloud in your life. You called out of work today too, not wanting to take the chance of encountering Toji again and needing a break from that nightmare of a job.
Toji was not happy at all to see an unfamiliar face that wasn’t yours when he entered the hardware shop that night. He was already riled up and this was aggravating him even more. He didn’t even bother to buy anything, ignoring the customer service greeting from the middle aged stout man that now stood behind the counter, Toji just left the store almost as soon as he came in, his feet bringing him to your apartment. He saw that your friend’s car was still parked outside, making his jaw tick in annoyance.
He pulled out his phone and called your number that he gained without your permission, using his sources that made his way of living a much smoother process. You were still on the couch, with a now fast asleep Oliver laid on your lap when you heard your phone ring. Being the ditz you were you didn’t even check the caller ID, just answering the call without a single thought. “Hello?” You greeted. “Tell him to leave.” Toji demanded lowly on the other end of the line.
Your breath caught, goosebumps forming over your skin as fear filled you again for the 4th time this week. “How did you get my number?” You breathed shakily into the phone. “Don’t worry about that. Get your little friend to fucking leave while I’m asking nicely.” He gritted in response. Tears filled your eyes, you were sick of crying now but it seemed that’s all you knew how to do lately.
“No. You need to leave me alone. I didn’t do anything. What do you want from me?” You exasperated, you kept your tone hushed though not wanting to wake Oliver. “I want you. Just you, my pretty prey just for me to play with.” He hummed darkly, his words giving you shivers and shocking you. That’s the last thing you expected to hear and you hated that the untamed part of your brain seemed to like the sound of it. You tried to shake that feeling away though.
“Why me?. I’m nobody. Just leave me alone please.” You pleaded, tears streaming down your cheeks now as you sniffled softly. As much as Toji loved to hear you cry and beg, he was getting annoyed. “Look dollface I really fucking hate repeating myself so here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna kick your boy toy out or I’m gonna let myself in and pour his pulsing bloody guts all over your nice shiny hardwood flooring. You want that sweetheart?” He wasn’t even giving you an ultimatum, he was making a statement that he intended to fully act on.
You gasped in horror, “Y-You’re sick!” You spat in disgust as you began to sob. Oliver had awoken now, instantly getting worried seeing your current state. “Time’s ticking sweetheart. I’m giving you 5 minutes. tick tock tick tock.” He taunted in a haunting manner, instantly raising your anxiety the moment he hung up. “You need to leave!” You blurted to Oliver, your eyes wide in a panic as you literally tried to physically grab him and push him out.
You didn’t even process his words asking ‘are you okay?’ and ‘what happened’, your mind just solely focused on kicking him out before your personal monster came to kill him. “Just leave! I’m okay but please just leave!” You practically screamed at him as you cried. He was baffled as he stared at you in confusion and shock, you looked crazed at the moment and it scared him a little. “Woah..I’ll go..just relax, okay? I’m here for you if you need me just give me a call..” He replied in a calming soft tone that eased you a little but still didn’t stop the racing of your heartbeat that was fueled by fear.
You let out a breath of relief once Oliver finally left but that relief was short lived when Toji creeped into your apartment soon after. He was still covered in all black from head to toe, hood over his head covering most of his face in a dark shadow and blood soaked into his clothing, just barely noticeable due to how well it seeped and blended into the dark shade of black he wore. “You just beat the clock little mouse. Congratulations.” He teased, it was not amusing at all to you nor was it celebratory.
“Aw peach, don’t act so petrified and down, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He cooed, seeing the shell shocked teary eyed scared look on your face. To be honest Toji was thrilled to see your face, it instantly brought him peace for some reason unknown to him. He was so riled up moments ago but now he felt a smidge of sanity and comfort being in your presence. “Y-You’re a liar..you were gonna hurt Oliver.” You managed to mutter out shakily.
“Eh, that’s because I don’t like him. I like you though little bun, more than you know. So I’m not gonna hurt you, unless you want me to.” He said honestly with a smirk that you could see appear on his visible lips. Toji then took his hood off, allowing you to see his face and all its glory, it was truly such a curse that he was actually attractive. You naturally got lost in his features, admiring his looks against your better instincts.
Toji noticed you eating up his looks with your eyes, making a smug grin form on his lips. If he wasn’t a psycho stalker who was obsessed with haunting you, you would’ve swooned at the sight. “You like my face, peaches? It’s all yours if you want.” He teased with a grin. Your face scrunched up in disgust, “Ack, you’re deranged.” You insulted, he only grinned more. “Aw, that’s putting it lightly sweetheart.” He hummed as he sat on your couch, making himself comfortable as he manspreaded.
You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, him acting all cozy in your home as if it was his. “You tell the police about me little mouse?. Saw them here early this mornin’, you tryna get rid of me already? The fun just started though bun.” He questioned almost in a mocking tone with false sentiment, faking a pout as he looked at you. You were baffled, “You saw them? Why are you watching me and my house? You fucking creep!” You exclaimed.
He rolled his eyes, “That’s not important. You know you’re terrible at listening and answering questions. I’ll train you well though.” He talked as if he didn’t hear anything you said, completely ignoring your questions. “You won’t be training anything. You need to leave me alone and get the fuck out of my house now!” You demanded as you marched over to him, full of anger, feeling sick and tired of dealing with this.
“Aw, you look so adorable all angry peaches. You really want me to go? make me leave then. Come on, give it your best shot. I won’t fight back I promise.” He taunted with an amused grin. You hated his condescending tone, it was so belittling and made you want to punch him. You knew you wouldn’t stand a chance against him though, but you weren’t about to let him win without at least attempting to fight.
So without a second thought, you charged at him, using all your strength to get him off your couch. He was true to his word and didn’t fight back at all, which it’s not like he had to because you couldn’t get him to budge at all. He was like a boulder, an immovable statue, you attempted to push, pull, drag, and even hit the man, but nothing worked. Toji honestly had to hold back from laughing at your attempts, he had to admit though he admired your spirit and will to put up a fight even though you knew it was fruitless.
It was starting to frustrate you as you grew exhausted from exerting your energy to get him to leave. “You done yet?” He asked you in a bored tone, noticing you getting tired and moving slower. Tears pooled in your eyes once again from the frustration. “I hate you! Just leave me alone!” You sniffled as you glared at him with your teary eyes. “Awe, you know things would be much smoother for you if you didn’t fight against me so much sweetie.” He cooed.
You weren’t trying to hear that bullshit, since fighting him wasn’t working, you were gonna go to desperate lengths. You ran into your kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife you had. Toji perked up, “This is so typical. A knife little mouse is like a needle to me.” he sighed. You blocked out his words, charging for him again but with more spite this time.
He fought back this time, standing up and towering over you, dodging you as you attempted to stab him, no precision in your movements just going for it with the hopes of getting lucky. Your wild movement ended up paying off, because you managed to cut his arm, it wasn’t any serious damage but it felt like a victory to you. “shit.” He muttered. That small pride you had quickly dissipated though when Toji snatched you up.
He ended up pinning you down underneath him onto the floor, gripping your wrists in a painful hold as he held your arms above your head. “My patience is running very fucking thin with you little mouse so I suggest you start acting right unless you want me to show you why you should be very fucking afraid of me.” He stated, his tone serious and menacing as he stared you down, face inches apart from yours.
You were pouting, tears falling from your eyes, breathing heavily from trying to fight him. You felt so trapped in this situation, trapped by him, it was never ending. “Now, drop the knife peaches, while I’m still being nice.” he told you, forewarning you of the consequences you’d face if you didn’t listen to him. You obeyed, dropping the knife and letting it clatter onto the floor. “Good girl, wasn’t so hard was it?” He hummed, looking into your spiteful eyes.
“Are you getting off on this? Stalking me, harassing me, ruining my life? Does it satisfy that fucked up brain of yours? Preying on me like some deranged animal, you’re a monster. I’ll never be yours, not even in your sick perverted dreams. You piece of shit.” You said to him, full of hatred, voice not having any edge to it but full of intent to hurt him. It didn’t hurt him though, it amused him actually. “That was a nice monologue bun, you just came up with that? I’m impressed.” He teased.
“I’ll humor you though. I do get off on it, love seeing those tears in your pretty eyes, hearing you scream and sob in fear, the way you tremble and how your breathing slows down and picks up, how naive and unaware you are, I’m addicted to it. Especially now, you should see yourself right now bun because fuckk…you look so petrified I just wanna eat you alive.” He expressed, leaning close to you and breathing in your scent, exhaling into your neck and making you tremble and whine quietly in fear.
“smell so good little mouse, it’s intoxicating.” He sighed as he pressed himself against you more, you felt helpless underneath him trapped in his hold. “T-Toji..please just leave me be, I won’t tell anyone I promise.” You whined, attempting to plead again. “Fuck, it sounds so good when you say my name like that sweetheart, can you say it again for me?” He was too caught up in your voice, your body, your scent, your presence to even hear your pleas anymore.
His cock was painfully hard in his pants, so turned on by you and your being. You could feel his dick pressing against you as he was positioned between your spread legs, it was making your mind jumbled up, now struggling to focus on the situation at hand. “You feel how hard I am for you peaches?. God, I wanna ruin you so bad. Feel your cute cunt squeezing and pulsating around me.” He practically groaned as he began to rock his hips against yours.
You could barely process what was happening, it was lost on you how you ended up here after just trying to stab this man. But you hated to admit that it felt so good, your pussy betraying you as it throbbed in need and soaked your panties in your wetness. “Look at you, letting a monster, your stalker, dry hump you on the floor, such a dirty pathetic little slut. A little attention to your pussy and you shut the fuck up.” He degraded, you moaned embarrassingly in response, your hips starting to push back against his desperately as you chased an orgasm.
“I-I’m not a slut” you defended yourself as you whined, Toji scoffed. “Yet you’re humping me like a bitch in heat. Are you just a slut for me then? Is that what you’re trying to say peaches?” He spoke directly into your ear, the feeling of his lips and breath against your earlobe sending shivers down your spine. “Never for you!” You managed to spit out despite the pleasure that was currently clouding your mind.
Toji’s jaw ticked at that, “For that Oliver kid then?. I’ll slit his throat you know. Right in front of you. Make you watch as his blood slowly pours from his body.” He threatened, you whimpered shaking your head frantically, not wanting that to happen at all. “Don’t hurt him, please.” You sobbed, Toji just rolled his eyes in response. Despite the horrific convo, your hips never ceased their movement, rocking desperately against Toji’s as you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist.
You felt sick for giving into pleasure from such a monster but you couldn’t stop, it felt too good and there was a part of you that you tried to deny that got off on being afraid of Toji, like some twisted adrenaline rush. “Say that you’re mine then, and I won’t hurt him.” He pressed as he wrapped one of his hands around your throat, squeezing slightly and making you moan.
Toji didn’t know why he was so hooked on you to the point of jealousy, but he had to have you as his or else he’d kill anyone who would even think to take you away from him. “Come on, sweet girl. I know you can say it for me.” He uttered as he rocked his hips harder against yours, his clothed cock bumping against your clit in the most delicious way. With pleasure clouding your mind, you couldn’t even make proper judgement any more, all you wanted to do was cum and appease the man who was able to give you that relief. “I-I’m yours, all yours, please” you cried as you bucked your hips against his feverishly.
Toji’s eyes nearly rolled back hearing you say those words, it satiated him to the fullest. He wasn’t gonna let you take those words back either, from now on you were his officially, whether you liked it or not. “I knew you were a smart girl, all that fight for nothing. You just wanted to give me a hard time, hm?.” He cooed as he squeezed at your throat again, a proud grin on his face. You just nodded and moaned in response, solely focused on the orgasm you were chasing.
Toji moved his grip to your jaw, squishing your cheeks together as he leaned down to kiss you. You wanted to avoid the kiss, you didn’t want to go that far as to kiss your psycho stalker you felt you had a least enough morals for that. Toji of course didn’t care one bit about you trying to move your head, tightening his grip on your face as he pressed his lips messily against yours.
You whimpered at the feeling of his fingers digging painfully into your soft cheeks, he took that opportunity to slide his tongue into your opened mouth. His tongue tangling with yours and exploring the caverns of your mouth, you hated that you moaned into the kiss, your body betraying you.
“I don’t know why you continue to fight me when you know you won’t win. Just accept your fate bun, your soul is now tainted, forever entangled to mine. If you even think you can escape me, forget about it because I’ll always capture you again. My sweet beautiful mouse..made for me.” He spoke in sickly sweet tone as he kissed you in an affectionate manner that made your skin crawl.
You hated how his words seemed like reality, you didn’t want to believe it but it seemed that you were bound to this man now and that you would never be able to get away. That thought alone seemed dreadful and you wanted to erase it from your mind. Toji trailed his kisses down to your chest, roughly pulling down your shirt and bra and starting to kiss and suck at your nipples. Your back arched and you moaned at the attention to your erect nipples, his teeth grazing and biting at them making you whine out his name.
“Fuck, I love it so much when you say my name peaches. In that whiny pathetic voice of yours, makes me crazy, you know?” He groaned against your skin as he continued to push his hips against yours. “Y-you’re already crazy you- ah sick fucking bastard.” You said, your words holding no edge to them due to your moans as Toji tugged at your nipples.
“You like it though, don’t you? That’s why you’re letting me treat you like a dirty whore. You get off on me stalking you bun? Hm? You like that I can hurt you if I wanted to? I could easily kill you right now. Snap your neck, strangle you, stab you, how’d you like me to kill you peaches? I know you’ve imagined it, picturing it vividly while your little clit twitches in need at the visual. You’re the one that’s sick. A whore for a killer, what would your mother think of you?” He provoked, his words bringing tears to your eyes and turning your brain to mush.
You came at that moment, your body trembling as you cried and came in your panties, making a sticky mess. Toji whistled as he watched you fall apart, a grin on his face. “So pretty peaches, love seeing you like this.” Toji muttered in adoration as he watched you cry, he licked up your tears like a sick pervert, groaning in pleasure as he did at the salty taste. He came too, his cum pouring into his jeans in ropes, soaking the black denim. You immediately felt regret and shame afterwards, continuing to cry as reality sank in.
“Awe bun, I’m not so bad really. Cheer up.” He half assed comforted as he squished your puffy cheeks. “I hate you!” You sniffled as you looked up into his eyes. “I know, but that’s just a phase. You’ll get over it.” He dismissed nonchalantly as he got off you, standing up and pulling off his hoodie. You couldn’t help the way your eyes widened seeing his sculpted body in the fitted tank top he wore underneath, ‘why the fuck does he have to be so visually perfect?’ You thought.
You frowned though seeing the bleeding cut you left on his arm, you should still feel happy about successfully hurting the psycho but you were too soft hearted. “Does it hurt?” You asked softly. He scoffed, amused slightly at your question. “Cute. But no, it doesn’t. This is nothing to me sweetheart.” He said honestly. You still felt a tad concerned about the blood running down his arm but you decided to take his word on it that he was fine.
“Clean me up if you feel so bad bun.” He said with a sly grin. “Clean you up?..” you repeated, clueless. Toji pulled you up so that you were on your knees, his hand laid on top of your head as if you were a pet. “Come on, put that tongue to good use. Since you love to mouth off.” He pressed as he pushed your head close to his crotch. You felt so small, so inferior, as he had you in this position and demanded you to do something so nasty and degrading. But that sick part of you did enjoy it and wanted to do it, and you hated that part of you.
You let out a shaky breath before you ran your tongue along the soaked tainted fabric of his jeans. It was so rough against your tongue, you could taste the remnants of his cum along with a metallic taste of blood and you had no clue who or where the blood came from, giving you chills at the thought and the taste making you cringe. You instantly stopped and pulled away, wanting to rid the taste from your mouth as your saliva built up due to you not wanting to swallow.
Toji laughed at the disgusted look on your face, he was laughing at you and that realization made you feel so humiliated and sick. “Aww, such a good pet for me. Doesn’t it taste good, Hm?” He teased as he patted your head as if you were a dog, it made you even more embarrassed and infuriated you. You were pulled back into the reality that this was a sadistic psycho in front of you that you hated with every fiber of your being.
With the anger and humiliation fueling you, you stood up and spit in his face. Satisfactory filling you as you watched the spit run disgustingly down his chin. Toji froze, his eyes closing as he breathed in a slow heavy breath. “How’s that taste?” You retorted back with pride at catching him off guard and gaining the upper hand for just a second. Although you felt fearless at the moment, something about how calm he was made you nervous. The way his soulless green eyes pierced into you, unwavering; left you on edge.
Before you had enough sense to run off, he grabbed you quicker than you could think. His large arms trapping you in a painful chokehold and lifting you off the floor as you kicked and trashed, hands clawing desperately at his arms. Toji just hummed into your ear as you struggled to breathe, choking and gargling over your screams that barely seemed to make it out.
“You did this to yourself you know? if you just were a good little mouse you wouldn’t end up like this. Constantly provoking me knowing I don’t want to hurt you..tch, such a shame.” He spoke in an almost disapproving tone, speaking so calmly as if he wasn’t literally crushing your air supply. “F-Fuck You!” You managed to choke out in response. “Soon.” He hummed before he pressed a soft peck to your temple. You wanted to gag, he truly was sick and deranged.
Toji waited until that moment he felt your fight start to die down and your eyes start to flutter close to let you go, dropping you onto the floor like you were nothing. You went into a coughing fit, caressing your throat as you tried to suck in as much air as possible. “If you play nice, I will too.” He told you, he was being honest but he could tell by now that you were stubborn, so was he though.
You scoffed, wiping your tears as you stood back up “I don’t want to play with you. I’m tired of this shit. I should’ve fucking told the police your name, should’ve told them every fucking thing. Should’ve got rid of your ass.” You ranted as you walked aimlessly around your now messy apartment, walking just to ease your emotions. Toji watched you, wiping your saliva off his face with his tank top as he did.
“Aw bun, you didn’t rat on me to the cops? That’s so sweet, knew I could count of you.” He sweetly said with a fake grin that was mocking. “You can’t get rid of me though sweetie, even the police can’t keep me away. I’ll always find you and trap you, so you might as well get used to me.” He said seriously, dropping the sweet act. You felt like pulling your hair out, this man was actually driving you crazy.
You decided to use your brain for once though and start thinking more rationally about this situation. You knew you couldn’t fight him anymore, you had lost that battle enough and you didn’t know if you’d survive the next time. You knew you couldn’t escape him or get him locked up, so scratch that idea too. You didn’t want to comply to this creep…but it seemed like the only option for now..but if you were gonna do it, you were gonna do it on your terms.
“Alright let’s make a deal.” You offered suddenly after your thinking session. Toji had cleaned and patched up the cut you gave him while you took your time thinking to yourself. His interest was piqued, raising a brow as he looked at you “What kind of deal?” He asked. “About this..companionship? no that’s not it, this hostage situation? yeah that’s better.” You began to ramble. “Get to the point.” He urged you, not having the patience for your antics any longer.
“asshole..” you muttered. “Anyways, I’ll be ‘yours’ or whatever the fuck. But you have to listen to me, no more hurting me physically or making threats to me or anyone close to me, and no more stalking me either.” You stated, arms crossed as you stood in front of Toji who was sat on your couch again. Toji scratched at the faint stubble that was starting to grow on his chin as he considered your offer.
“Hm, seems boring but not bad. I have some terms too though, I have to know all of your whereabouts and who you’re with, I also get to come and stay in your home as I wish, and I get to fuck that tight cunt of yours. How’s that deal sound?” He stated back, declaring his own wishes. You stared at him in disbelief, “sounds like bullshit! You’re not touching me, fucking pervert!” You huffed. “No deal then.” He chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair.
“Why can’t you just compromise with me?. I’m literally giving you what you want.” You sighed, exhausted with the whole situation. “I am compromising, you’re the one still being stubborn. It was your idea to make a deal.” He shrugged. “Also it’s ironic that you’re acting like you’d rather die than have me touch you but it seemed like you were enjoying yourself quite a bit when you were grinding that desperate cunt on my dick.” He reminded you with an amused grin, the reminder filling you with embarrassment all over again.
“It was a moment of weakness…shut up about it. Just agree to the deal, there will be no fucking though. Understand?” You stood on your terms, unwilling to bend to his again and let him win. “No deal.” He replied once again, standing up and grabbing his hoodie. “I’ll be back to see you again bun, hopefully you’ll come to your senses by then.” He grinned and placed a kiss on your forehead before he left your apartment, leaving you standing in your living room speechless.
You took a shower, wanting to wash off any trace of Toji left on your body and wash away your sins. You were spaced out underneath the hot water, the steamed filled bathroom creating a warm blanket on your skin. You had so many thoughts and no thoughts at all at the same time, Toji’s entrance into your life had completely mind fucked you. While you had always wished for something exciting and new to your boring, mundane, routinely life, this was not what you wished for or expected at all to add spark to your life.
You’d like to think that maybe this was all for a reason though, that this all had some purpose even though the purpose seemed pretty fucked up. You turned off your shower and got out, getting wrapped in your fluffy cozy towel and then curling up into a ball onto your bed. You didn’t bother to get dressed as you drifted off to sleep after yet another draining day. Unfortunately though, the man you desperately wanted peace from also plagued your dreams.
“so pretty for me peaches, crying so sweetly while swallowing my cock. You were meant for this, hm? taking my cock down that little throat.” Toji purred as he held your hair in a tight grip, holding your head in place as your nose pressed against his pelvis, his trimmed pubic hairs tickling your face as you gargled around his cock.
Your eyes rolled back, choked moans and whines leaving your drool and precum stuffed mouth as Toji’s booted foot pressed and rubbed against your cunt. The friction pushing you to the edge as you rutted pathetically on his shoe like a cheap desperate whore. “dirty fucking slut, you like being treated like this, don’t you? treated like a braindead bitch, only good for one thing.” He degraded you harshly, thrusting hard into your throat, his balls slapping painfully against your chin.
You tears pooled from your eyes as you let Toji use you as he wished, like his own personal slut made special for him. You’d never admit to liking the treatment you received from Toji, too ashamed of your deep rooted masochism. But that part of yourself that you were in denial about and tried to fight against was the reason you hadn’t fully pushed Toji away yet, he was bringing that side of you to the surface and it scared you.
You woke up from your deep sleep with a whine, rolling and stretching around in your cozy bed. “Sleeping naked and moaning my name in your sleep..” Toji tsked, the sound of his voice making you sit up with a gasp. “It’s like you’re doing this on purpose peaches. You’re lucky I do have some sort of morals, or else I would’ve had my way with you since your unconscious self clearly wants it.” He teased, a grin resting on his scarred lips as he leaned against your doorframe.
“Why are you always fucking around?” You groaned in annoyance, wrapping your blankets closer around your indecent body. “Because I can be, you’re already getting tired of seeing my face bun? That’s a shame, here I thought you wanted to cum on my face because you loved it so much it made your pussy drool just from the sight of it.” He said in faux disappointment while shaking his head.
His words and wittiness never failed to baffle you. “I hate you.” You muttered, repeating those words you felt so deeply. He laughed, “I know sweetie, that’s the best part though. You hating me but being unable to get rid of me, like an annoying piece of gum stuck to your shoe. Although I don’t think you actually hate me that much, you just want to convince yourself of that.” He responded. You just stared at him, “and you said Oliver talked too much..” you mumbled.
“Get out so I can get dressed, I’m tired of your presence.” You told him. “Say please.” He requested immediately, that annoying grin still on his face. You sighed, “Please.” You obliged, no longer having any energy to fight him or argue with him. To your surprise he actually listened and exited the room after you asked politely. You weren’t gonna give him any brownie points though, he was still a psycho that was stalking you.
You freshened up and got dressed in a baggy t-shirt and some leggings, wanting to be comfy since you had no intentions of going out today. You put your coily hair into a puff on top of your head and then walked out your bedroom to find Toji sitting on your couch. He seemed to enjoy being on your couch as he made himself comfortable and even started watching tv. “Don’t you have a job or something? Or your own damn house?” You asked, slightly irritated but choosing to not let his looming presence get to you.
“Aw, finally interested in me bun?. I do have my own house, just prefer being in yours. I guess you could say I have a job if killing people counts as a profession.” He answered casually. You stared at him wide eyed, “That does not count! You’re a murderer!” You exclaimed. “You’re just now catching that?. Sweetie, I knew you were a little slow witted but come on now. You literally saw me kill someone.” He said as he looked at you, watching how your expression turned into one of horror as realization hit you.
“Oh my fucking god! Oh my god! You’re the serial killer Oliver was telling me about!” You couldn’t believe it, even though part of you always knew, the confirmation was terrifying. You felt almost dizzy at the realization that this whole time you were dealing with an actual serial killer, not just some really dangerous mentally unstable stalker. “You really lack awareness skills..I don’t know how you’ve survived until now.” He muttered, genuinely surprised at how clueless you actually were.
“…are you planning to kill me?” You knew by now it was probably stupid to ask, but you didn’t know so you had to make sure. “Little mouse, If I was planning to kill you I would’ve done it the moment I met you. No, I don’t plan on killing you nor do I plan on hurting you.” He told you honestly. You felt a little relief hearing that, “You’ve already hurt me though? My neck is literally bruising.” You stated, calling him out. “In my defense, you pulled a knife on me and tried to stab me.” He said as he held his hands up halfway in an appearance of surrendering.
“Touché” You couldn’t refute his stance since it was valid. You hated how casual conversing with him was becoming though, especially with him being in your house it was all beginning to feel a little too ‘domestic’ but maybe that was his goal to make you get used to him and comfortable with him. You tried to ignore that feeling though, trying to constantly remind yourself of the fact that Toji was a terrible monster.
You went into your kitchen and began to cook breakfast for yourself, well it was just for you until of course Toji made himself known. “smells good, whatcha’ making?” he hummed as he came up behind you, his body towering over you as you stood in front of your stove. It gave you Deja vu to the moment the two of you shared in the hardware store, when he told you his name. The moment that tied you to him. “food.” You responded bluntly.
“Don’t be so mean peaches, it doesn’t suit you.” He said, the soft manner he spoke in currently was too soothing to your ears and you knew it shouldn’t be affecting you the way it did. You sighed, “It’s just eggs, bacon, oatmeal, and biscuits.” you finally answered properly. “Mm, sounds amazing. You making some for me too? you know sharing is caring.” He hummed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning down to comfortably rest his head on your shoulder.
This position felt way too intimate and you hated the way it gave you little flutters in your chest. “Make your own food.” You huffed softly. “I can’t cook.” He responded honestly, which took you aback a little because you weren’t expecting that response. “What do you eat then?” You asked out of curiosity, you just received silence and no answer in response. “When’s the last time you ate?” You questioned as you now turned your head a little to look at him, feeling concerned now.
He just shrugged, “Not too long ago. It slips my mind sometimes.” He said as if it was nothing. “That’s not okay. How do you not remember when you last ate?. You need to eat something.” You frowned, your natural empathetic nature coming out as you actually felt worried about the dangerous man holding you. Toji smiled seeing you worry over him, “You’re so cute bun, all sympathetic for a killer.” He cooed before he pecked your cheek.
You blushed but tried to hide it as you focused your attention back on the stove. “Shut up. I’ll make some extra for you..” you muttered. “Aw, see I knew you liked me bun.” He chuckled as he squeezed you affectionately for a second before letting you go, going to sit at the island to watch you as you continued cooking. You finished cooking pretty fast though, making a plate for yourself and Toji.
Those domestic feelings came back as you handed the plate of food to him, everything just felt too personal and intimate and it was messing with your mind. Toji actually politely thanked you for the food to your surprise, “So you do have some manners.” You remarked as you sat with him and began to eat. “I told you I’m not all that bad peaches, just gotta warm up to me.” He grinned before he started eating as well.
Toji ate as if it was the best meal he’d ever had and it honestly flattered you a lot. “I should marry you, so you can cook for me forever.” He suddenly said as he finished eating. “You’re actually crazy if you think I’d ever marry your ass.” You laughed while shaking your head. “I am crazy though, you know this. You reconsider your little deal yet?” He reminded you. “I’m not changing my stance, you’re not fucking me.” You stood on your terms.
“You just love to be difficult. I bet I could fuck that out of you, make you all pliant and obedient. Turn you into a babbling mess, fucked stupid. When’s the last time you even got fucked, hm?” He asked, genuinely curious. You gasped, “That’s none of your business!. Why must you always be so perverted? Creep.” You avoided the question, feeling flustered from his crude words.
“So I’m gonna take that as an obvious answer that you haven’t been fucked in a long time. You love being in denial, don’t you? You want me so bad, you just don’t want to admit it yourself.” He called you out, you honestly didn’t have any comebacks because he was right despite you not wanting to admit that. “You think you know everything but you’re wrong.” You huffed, wanting to keep your pride even though you knew you’d lost that long ago when you first got caught in Toji’s trap.
“I’m never wrong peaches. You’re just a coward. Always the ever so frightened little mouse, even afraid of your own self. It’s a shame really.” He said while shaking his head in mock disappointment. His words stung, offending you more than you expected them to. The truth did hurt. “I’m not a coward, I fought you didn’t I?. That’s enough evidence that I’m not cowardly. I’m just not a sick fucking pervert like you.” You spat, anger building in your tone due to feeling belittled.
Toji was amused at how easily riled up you got over a few words, he knew he’d hit the nail on the head. “You are just as sick as me though bun, I’m just more open about it than you are. You’re a dirty fucking slut, wanting to be hurt and humiliated by me, treated as if you’re nothing but a flesh toy for pleasure, isn’t that right?. That’s what you were dreaming about earlier weren’t you, love? dreaming about me having my way with you, turning you into my little pet. Oh how I’d love to make your little dream into a reality bun, to mold your cunt into the shape of my cock.”
Toji went on and on, his hand moving to grip your face as he spoke those filthy words that had your pussy pulsating in need. You didn’t want to give in but god did he make it sound so good, your body desperately craved it despite your better instincts telling you no. “Tell me you want it.” Toji uttered lowly against your lips. You felt like you stopped breathing for a second, the world freezing around you as you got lost in the moment with Toji so close to you and persuading you to give into your deepest desires.
You decided to not listen to your incessant back and forth thoughts for once and just allow yourself to make a decision solely on your inner feelings that wanted to desperately to claw out. “I want it..” you breathed out, sealing your fate. Toji didn’t waste a second as he pressed his lips against yours with vigor, grabbing you and pulling you into his arms as he pushed his tongue into your mouth.
He lifted you onto the kitchen countertop, making you gasp as your glass plates fell onto the floor and shattered during the process, Toji not bothering to move them. “The glass!” You tried to point out, your words getting muffled due to Toji kissing you hard and messily. “clean it up later.” He brushed off as he gripped your thighs harshly, trailing his feverish kisses down your neck, dragging his tongue along your neck up to your jawline. It honestly seemed as if Toji genuinely wanted to eat you up.
Toji ripped your shirt, startling you as the fabric tore with ease, you pouted a little as you watched Toji toss it aside since you actually liked that shirt. You couldn’t dwell on that thought for much longer though as Toji began to mark you as his, sucking and biting those pretty red and purple blemishes across the expanse of your body. You whimpered and squirmed every time he bit you, the sting of his teeth digging into your skin and the coating of his saliva afterwards when he’d lick and suck over the forming bruise.
“it hurts” you whined. “good, it should hurt. You deserve it for being such a fucking slut.” He degraded as his hand came down hard to slap your boob, causing you to let out a sob. “You look so pretty like this, covered in my marks, tears filling up those brown eyes. So perfect for me little mouse.” Toji cooed, a complete contrast to his previous tone as he continued to harshly play with your boobs, tugging your nipples and slapping them until you were fully crying.
“Ah, there she goes. My pretty crybaby.” He grinned sadistically as he watched you cry. He smoothed his hands over your now sore boobs as he kissed at your tear streaked cheeks. He was so hot and cold, constantly changing from being cruel and mean to being the slightest bit of sweet and caring, it messed up your head. The switches making you dizzy. Toji removed your panties and leggings, his eyes taking in and admiring every part of your body once you were fully naked underneath him.
Toji wanted to memorize every inch of your body, engrain it and paint it inside his mind. You felt a little self conscious under his intense stare, especially since he was still clothed while you were completely bare in front of him. “stop staring. pervert..” you muttered, embarrassed as you attempted to cover yourself up with your hands. “don’t try to be modest now, move your fucking hands or I’ll cut them off.” He threatened, tone menacing as he stared you down with those dark evil eyes.
You trembled a bit in fear, moving your hands away as your lip quivered due to your tears. Though you were scared shitless, you were so turned on, the fear making your pussy clench around nothing as your arousal started to drip out. “good girl.” He praised, making you swoon for a second because it felt so good to be praised. “look at this cute cunt, weeping to be touched. So fucking wet and I’ve barely touched you. Such a fucking touch deprived whore.” He tsked as he ran his fingers through your soaked folds.
He spread his fingers, admiring the sight of your creamy essence clinging to them. You moaned at the feeling of his rough padded fingers playing with your pussy, your legs subconsciously spreading wider as Toji began to rub circles onto your clit with his thumb. “such a sloppy pussy.” He said as he pushed a finger into your needy cunt, your walls eagerly swallowing up his thick finger.
Your eyes fluttered at the stimulation of Toji’s finger filling you up, you truly were touch starved and sensitive, already getting bliss from the pleasure of his fingers rubbing against your plush walls. You shamelessly rocked your hips onto Toji’s finger, matching the pace of his thrusts as you moaned. Toji almost groaned at the sight of you losing yourself over a single finger.
“Fucking cock hungry whore, just one finger and your pussy is dripping all over my hand. You gonna cum just from my fingers fucking into this useless cunt, hm?” He was relentless as he shoved another finger inside you, curling them just right to make you cry out. His hand came down again, this time slapping your pussy repeatedly. The wet smack smack smack sounding throughout the kitchen as he battered your poor pussy, making you twitch and sob at the agonizing pleasure.
You were so wet, your fluids soaking Toji’s hand and dripping onto your pristine kitchen countertop. Your clit throbbing and pussy clenching each time Toji slapped your cunt, while his fingers pressed against that sweet spot that had your eyes rolling back. “So pretty for me, making a mess of yourself bun.” He sighed in awe as his eyes took in your state.
Your body all marked up in red and purple bruises, tears pouring down your puffy cheeks, drool slipping from the corner of your mouth, legs trembling and toes curling, hair strands falling from that puff on your head, slick coating your thighs and dripping everywhere. Toji was so enamored by the sight that he felt he had to document it, pulling out his phone and pressing record.
“You should see yourself bun, so fucking slutty and pathetic. Fucks sake, I should show this video to the world. Let everyone see just how much of a greedy bitch you are.” He taunted as he captured your filthy state on camera. You whined, shaking your head as you cried. “N-No! please don’t.” You begged as you moaned and cried nonstop. “Awe peach, look at you being so polite and asking so nicely. I’ve already trained you so well.” He spoke in that sweet condescending tone of his as his fingers never ceased their movement inside your wet cunt.
“I could show your little friend Oliver, reveal to him how much of a pain kink whore you are. He’d probably be so disgusted to find out that such a cute dollface like you is just a slut that loves to be treated like worthless pet.” He laughed, his threats were empty ones but he loved how panicked and upset they made you. You cried harder at his words, hands moving to grab the phone from him and throw it aside.
Toji didn’t like that at all, slapping you in the face the moment his phone hit the floor. “Fucking disobedient bitch. What the fuck did I tell you about those hands?” He growled angrily at you, you could barely process his words as you were cumming hard, cunt spasming on Toji’s fingers as you sobbed loudly, face stinging due to the slap. You don’t remember the last time you came that hard, Toji slapping you pushing you over the edge. Your head was buzzing as your creamy climax coated Toji’s hand, seeping through the cracks of his fingers.
“Did I say you could cum?” He asked, glaring down at you as he slapped your thigh, you whimpered. “m’sorry.” You pouted as you looked back up at him, meeting his eyes with your teary ones. “You never fucking listen, just a braindead whore.” He said, tone agitated while shaking his head. “I don’t think you deserve my cock, been an insolent girl with no manners.” He reprimanded, you truly felt like he was scolding you and it made you feel more desperate to please him.
“no no, ‘m so sorry, please please. I’ll be good, I promise.” You pleaded unabashedly as you tugged needily at his pants loops, you wanted him to be inside you so badly you felt as if you’d die if he didn’t fill you up. He had successfully brainwashed you, making you crave him insatiably. Toji smirked as he listened to you beg, his chest swelling with pride at the fact that he got you to this point.
“You’ll be good?. You think you deserve it? I don’t know if your words are good enough.” He teased as he pushed his cum covered fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself as he shoved his fingers down your throat. You moaned and gagged around his fingers, “I’wll do anyfthing, pwease, I sw’er” you sobbed, words muffled and slurred around Toji’s thick fingers as you continued to beg.
“Aw, you’ll do anything bun? you’ll be mine forever?” He asked as he smiled down at you. You nodded instantly in response, “that’s my girl.” He cooed prior to placing a kiss on your forehead. You felt giddy about the small show of affection, smiling around Toji’s fingers. Toji pulled his fingers from your mouth, undoing his pants and pulling out his hard cock that was dripping precum down the veins of his heavy cock.
You were practically drooling at the sight, hips moving to eagerly push against the tip of his pretty cock that curved a little to the left. “so needy.” He murmured as he tapped the tip of his cock repeatedly on your abused red puffy clit, your back arching slightly at the stimulation to your sensitive clit. “n-need you inside, please” you sniffled as you begged once more. “yeah yeah, I heard you shut the fuck up.” He dismissed as he finally shoved his cock into your hungry walls.
You moaned out, head thrown back as his cock filled you up to the brim. “Fuckk” Toji groaned as he got consumed in your tight cunt squeezing around his cock. “Feeding this cock deprived fucking pussy. shit.” He gritted as he began to pound into you, not waiting for you to adjust to his size at all as he slammed into you mercilessly. You were getting fucked stupid, mouth parted with no sounds coming out, hands holding onto Toji’s shirt and nails clawing at his chest as he fucked you like his life depended on it.
Toji hissed at the sight of his cock bulging in your stomach, pressing his hand down on it to feel the movement of his dick inside you each time he pushed in and out. “You feel that peaches? My fat cock rearranging your guts? Feels so good doesn’t it princess?” His words falling on your deaf ears as your pussy soaked his dick, the squelching sound growing louder with each thrust as your juices dripped down to his balls. “Ah, my little mouse is finally quiet. All it took was some good dick to shut you up.” Toji huffed a laugh as he observed your fucked out state.
He pushed your legs up over his shoulders, folding you up into a mating press as he seemingly began to slam into you harder, the tip his dick battering your cervix and making you let out a scream. Toji loved hearing you scream, his eyes rolling back at the sound as he groaned into your ear. “Sound so fucking pretty ngh fuck— love this slutty pussy, could fuck it all day.” He moaned as he relentlessly pounded you into your countertop, his balls slapping painfully against the cusp of your ass.
“I should fuck a baby into this needy cunt, tie you to me forever. would you like that bun? Hm?” He breathed into your neck, by now Toji was just as blissed out as you were, saying things he’d never usually say but you felt so good wrapped around him and looking so pretty that he felt like he’d risk it all. “m-mhm, w-wan’ ah mm— wan’ it please” you hiccuped out in between whiny moans. Toji kissed your drool slicked lips, moaning into your mouth as he tasted your saliva. He was truly obsessed with every inch of you, wanted to eat you up, mold your body to his. He felt like he was in heaven being inside you.
“so good for me, taste so fucking good sweet girl. You wanna have the child of a serial killer? Gonna be a good momma?” He spoke in between your messy kisses, his ruthless thrusts never ceasing as your pussy swallowed up his cock with each stroke. “yes! yes! I’ll b-be a g-good mhph- momma” You were too cock drunk to register what you were saying, responding instinctively without thinking.
Your mind and body was solely focused on the drag of Toji’s cock against your walls, his rough hands gripping you and leaving his handprints in addition to your already beautifully marked up form, his breath ghosting your skin, his lips slotted perfectly against yours, his dark sweaty hair that fell over his green eyes, the scar across his lips that seemed mesmerizing every time he moaned and grunted in pleasure. He looked like a wet dream, better than any of the ones you’ve had.
You were a babbling mess as you felt your orgasm build up intensely, back arching as you wailed in deep pleasure “m’ hah- m’gonna-“ you could barely get the words out as your body trembled, pussy clenching and spasming around Toji’s cock. “Do it whore, be a good little bitch and cum all over my cock.” He grunted as he brought attention to your clit, drawing figure 8’s into it and slapping it as your pussy gushed around his cock.
You sobbed, screaming once more as you came hard, squirting and making a mess all over Toji’s lower abdomen and your kitchen countertop. Your whole body shook as you climaxed, it was the most intense orgasm you’d ever had. “there it is, good fucking girl.” He praised as he continued fucking you through your orgasm, his pace unrelenting. You were completely fucked out, body practically going limp as you whined in overstimulation.
It was honestly amazing to you how Toji still had so much energy, pounding into you just as hard and fast as he was when he started, if not harder as he chased his own climax. “you’re so perfect like this, my personal cum dump. Pliant and breedable just for me.” He panted, his balls growing heavy as he neared his orgasm. He was lost in the easy glide of his cock in your sloppy cum soaked cunt, the white ring around the base of his cock and the way more slick gushed out of you with each thrust was enthralling to him.
He couldn’t look away from the sight, along with the way his cock bulged so prominently in your cute tummy and how your pussy throbbed around his cock as if it was begging to be filled with his cum, it sent him over the edge. Toji let out a guttural groan as he came hard, pouring thick white ropes of cum into your spent cunt. “oh fuck-“ he moaned as his thrusts slowed, his hips still moving as he fucked his cum into you. You were just a whiny whimpering mess, eyes closed as you laid there and let Toji use you.
Toji finally let your sore legs drop from his shoulders as he came down from his high. He pulled out slowly, his low eyes watching intently as globs of his cum poured out from your pretty cunt. “You still with me, bun?” He asked you as he ran his fingers through your sensitive folds, pushing his cum back into you with his fingers. “m-mhm” you hummed in response as you trembled slightly in oversensitivity. “s’ too much.” You whined as you weakly tried to push away Toji’s hand.
“shh, it’s okay little mouse. jus’ gotta make sure this cum stays inside this sweet cunt.” He coaxed as he continued his ministrations. You shook your head, letting out a soft sob as another orgasm hit you suddenly. You were way too sensitive and the moment Toji’s fingers hit that spot you fell apart instantly. “Awe bun, you’re so sensitive, cumming so quickly.” He laughed as he found you adorable. He decided to stop torturing you though as he pulled his fingers out, putting them into his mouth and licking the mixture of your fluids off of them.
Toji then picked you up, carrying you to the bathroom as you slumped against him. You still had half the right mind to think that you probably shouldn’t trust Toji at all while in your current vulnerable state but you had already gone this far so you felt you had no choice but to go along. To your surprise, Toji started a shower for the both of you. He actually cleaned you up with care, contrasting to how roughly he treated you as he fucked your brains out.
He even put your bonnet on your head for you before the two of you fell asleep. All this domesticity was jarring to you for a multitude of reasons, but you were currently too exhausted to confront it so you decided to leave it for the morning. Unfortunately for you, your sleep got interrupted by knocking at your door around 4 in the morning. You groaned in annoyance as you tossed and turned a bit.
“sweetie! It’s me! I just really wanted to check up on you after last time!” You heard Oliver’s faint voice call out from outside your apartment door, it made you open your eyes once you registered his voice. You sat up, only to get pulled back down by a groggy Toji who had been sleeping next to you. “leave him.” Toji muttered half asleep. You blinked a few times to process if all of this was real or not.
All you could think was ‘how the fuck did I get here?’ even though you knew the events that brought you to this point you were still baffled. “he’s worried so I can’t just leave him, I’ll talk to him and tell him to go.” You told Toji prior to getting up again, he let you go this time. You grabbed the first clothing item closest to you to cover up your naked body and it just so happened to be Toji’s hoodie. It draped over you like a warm blanket.
You walked to your front door, opening it only slightly to talk to Oliver. “Oh my god, I know it’s really late but I was worried sick so I had to come see you. Are you okay?” He asked you in that concerned tone of his, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you. “yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry I snapped on you last time, that was uncalled for. I was just…stressed you know.” You apologized and reassured him.
He sighed in relief, “I’m just glad you’re okay. That creepster hasn’t come to bother you again has he?” He checked in. You chewed at your bottom lip as you contemplated your answer, “no, he hasn’t surprisingly.” You lied smoothly. Oliver raised a brow as he sensed something off about you, “…you do know I can always tell when you’re lying, right?” He stated.
“Did he hurt you? threaten you? what happened? you don’t need to cover for that asshole. He needs to pay for messing with you!” He expressed in deep concern. “Oliver! It is okay, nothing has happened and honestly you shouldn’t be involved. This is my problem and I’m dealing with it.” You tried to brush it off, you just didn’t want Oliver to get hurt due to your situation. “Dealing with it how?” He questioned you.
You opened your mouth to answer but got cut off by Toji butting in. “Y’all done talking about bullshit yet? I’m tryna sleep.” His agitated voice spoke from your bedroom. Oliver’s eyes widened, “He’s in your house?! What the fuck is going on?!” He exclaimed as he pushed the door open fully to see you. His jaw dropped seeing you dressed in Toji’s hoodie along with the fresh bruises and marks that covered your body. “You-…what did you do?” He asked in disbelief.
“Oliver..you should leave.” You told him as you look away from him, staring at the wall as shame filled you. “No! I’m not going, he needs to fucking go. That bastard ruined you!” He yelled as he grew angry with the situation. “I was already ruined! Just go! it’s for the best that you just go, I know you want answers but I don’t have them for you right now..please just go. I’ll tell you everything eventually, I promise.” You expressed genuinely as tears began to fill your eyes.
Oliver was speechless. “this was not how this was supposed to go…I-..I should’ve never let you lie to that officer.” He scoffed as he slowly eased his way out of your apartment. You didn’t have much more to say to him either at the moment, “bye oli..” you said softly before you closed the door on him. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you needed to release as you let everything settle in. “he’s really upset with me..” you frowned as you came back into your room to Toji.
“He’ll get over it.” He dismissed with a shrug as he pulled you into his arms. You still felt terrible about it since Oliver was your bestfriend but you hoped that you’d be able to make amends. You fell back asleep with Toji once you relaxed again but it seemed as if dreamland didn’t want you because you got woken up again but by something much worse.
Bright helicopter lights flowed through your window and police car lights emanated outside. “Come out with your hands up! You are under arrest!” an authoritative voice blared over a loud speaker, causing you and Toji to jump up. “shit!” Toji swore as he ran his fingers through his hair. “well bun, looks like I let my guard down for you a little too much.” He chuckled half heartedly.
He seemed so nonchalant about this predicament but you were panicked, screaming when a swat team broke down your front door and burst in. “shh, it’s okay, relax.” He comforted you as he held you and gently rubbed your back, you began to cry as you held onto him tightly. “Step away from the lady! We have a warrant for your arrest!” One officer shouted as they crowded into your bedroom with flashlights and guns pointed at the two of you.
Toji’s jaw ticked in annoyance, “You’re scaring her.” He stated as he held your shaking form tighter. As much as he loved seeing you terrified, he only enjoyed it when he was the cause of it. “Step away and put your hands up! Or we will be forced to use excessive force!” The officer demanded, ignoring Toji’s comment.
He sighed, “I gotta go bun..but I’ll be back to see you, I promise.” He whispered to you softly and placed a kiss on your temple before he let you go and surrendered himself to the police. You cried as you watched them handcuff Toji, you knew Oliver was the one who told them about Toji’s whereabouts. You never thought you’d cry and feel a little heartbroken over Toji being captured since he deserved it, but it stung your fragile heart.
“Don’t cry little mouse. Remember what I said?. You can’t escape me, I’ll always come find you. You’re mine forever.” He had that familiar sadistic grin of his on his face as he spoke, getting roughly pulled out by the swat team once he finished his last words. You’d hoped deep inside that those words rung true.
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itaipava · 7 months
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— how f1 boys would act when crushing on someone.
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˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS
tries to become your best-friend. and makes sure everyone knows you two are close. actually plays it cool but secretly thinks of you 24/7. tries to deny his feelings and puts himself in the friend-zone so that it hurts less when and if you do. sometimes, his eyes subconsciously drop to your lips when talking to you. always invites you to hang-outs with his friends and unintentionally ends up ignoring or forgetting everyone else and mostly just talks to you or sticks with you. always tries to match your pace when walking together.
˒ ⌕ DANIEL RICCIARDO
casually flirts with you a lot but does so in a joking or playful manner. slow to realize his feelings but doesn’t bother hiding it once he does. goes out of his way to spend time with you and talk to you. so many little touches like slight brushes of the fingertips, a light rub of shoulders, or a game of footsie under the table. is endearingly protective over you and defends you a lot. asks you to text or call him when you get home, or often offers to walk you home himself. unknowingly smiles so big while texting you and lowkey gets embarrassed when someone points it out or when he notices his own reflection in his phone screen.
˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ
looks at you like you must be protected at all costs, but also admires you and thinks highly of you. notices your little quirks and habits, and finds them cute. wants your opinion on things because he cares about what you think. wants to be updated about your life and keeps you updated about his. lots of eye contact. soft yet deep and intense gazes. unintentionally becoming more goofy and energetic around you. smiling uncontrollably when someone mentions your name or when he gets teased about his crush on you. always picking you first for his team when playing games with friends.
˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC
is actually timid about liking you, and tries to teat you like just another friend because he doesn’t want to be too obvious. does subtle things like tagging you in funny posts, or remembering your favorite cake flavor and buying you one on your birthday. throws surprise parties or celebrations for you — your birthday? surprise! you just finished your exams? surprise, again! sends you memes and tiktok videos at 3 a.m. his words are neutral but his body language shows his feelings; can’t look at you directly without getting slightly flustered, especially when you’re in public or when surrounded by friends. sometimes becomes tongue-tied in the most adorable way when talking to you.
˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON
becomes more talkative and tends to ask a lot of questions about you. he tries not to overdo it but he’s just genuinely curious and interested. tries to find excuses to hold your hand; subtly grasping your hand just a little longer after a high-five or asks for your hand so that he can “read your palm” or compares hand sizes for the hundredth time. lingering gazes and touches when you’re around people. always buys you little snacks that you like. if you just casually makes a comment about how a certain color looks great on him, he remembers that and wears that color even more around you.
˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI
more smiley around you but is also generally chill. always tries to initiate conversations with you and keeps it flowing. he’s slow to realize his feelings, so his friends are more likely to notice it first. loves to tease you and loves it even more when you tease back. the type that probably won’t look away when you make contact but also gets flustered and a little annoyed when someone interrupts the moment. initiates hang-outs with just the two of you and likes to take you to his favorite spots, but claims that it’s not a date unless you want it to be.
˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN
enjoys teasing you, but in a good-natured way; pinches your cheeks and ruffles your hair; steals the last piece of chips from you, only to buy you a whole new bag afterwards. showers you with compliments and also likes to help you with things — basically becomes your cheerleader and personal assistant. his voice or tone changes when talking to you, like he might be mad at someone and talking to them in an angry tone but as soon as he turns to speak to you, his voice becomes softer and sweeter. stalks your social media because you’re so beautiful and he can’t get enough of you. and he always comments on your posts, even if it’s a provocative comment, but he’s always there.
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little-star-library · 2 months
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Headcanons: Playing with Astarion’s Hair
Summary: Just some soft and fluffy headcanons about playing with Astarion’s hair. That man deserves to be coddled and pampered with all of the affection.
At first, Astarion didn’t care for anyone to touch his hair other than himself. After years and years of seducing so many people to lure back to his former master, there were plenty of people who had tangled their fingers through his hair and he developed a feeling of disdain and loathing at the sensation whenever someone got too close, like a hot brand that persisted until he was numb from the pain because none of it was ever real to him. It was all an act that he had to endure. But somehow that wasn’t the case when it came to you. You were different from everyone else. And it was frustrating beyond measure to accept the fact that he began to accept your touch more and more as the two of you grew closer.
It started with small, fleeting brushes of your fingers when you noticed the leaves and small twigs that got caught in his hair after a run in with some goblins. He hesitantly let you pluck out the debris and a twinge of warmth emanated from his undead heart at your gentle ministrations.
From then on, he would purposefully dishevel his snow colored waves and come to you with the excuse of the lack of his own reflection, saying that he only trusted you to fix it because Karlach would surely singe his hair by her own touch and Halsin’s hands were too large and would crumple his hair even more. You knew what he was doing, but secretly you didn’t mind at all.
“There we go, good as new.” You would say this every time with a smile and even though you would love to keep stroking his hair, as soft as it was, you would never cross that boundary unless he expressed his full consent to do so. You knew of his past and empathized with him not being comfortable with non-sexual intimacy because it was a foreign concept to him. He never got to personally experience something so simple and loving as that. And gods help him did he want you to keep going, but never really knew how to ask without embarrassing himself.
Luckily for him though, he didn’t have to wait too long before the opportunity arose. It was after the first time he convinced you to sleep with him and the two of you were laying in the grass under the starry night sky and he was nuzzling against the crook of your neck, trying to catch his breath even if it wasn’t really necessary. You were caressing his shoulders and your hands began to wander up to the curls at the nape of his neck and tentatively pet his hair , but you pulled away briefly so as not to upset him.
“No, don’t stop…please.” His voice came out as a soft whisper and he tightened his grip around your waist like you were going to disappear if he let you go and it made you melt from the inside to see him like this, and you didn’t need to be asked twice. You went back to entangle your fingers through his hair once more and lightly scratched at his scalp and he let out a hum as a silent ‘thank you’ and practically started purring when you kissed the crown of his head. The world around you began to blur until it was just you and him and there was nothing else that mattered other than this moment, and he silently pleaded for the sun to never rise so he could bask in your embrace just a little longer.
And after that night, he was hooked. Every night he would actively search you out and you would never turn him away. By now it was a common occurrence to spend the night in the privacy of your tent in comfortable silence by each other’s side while the rest of your traveling companions were asleep, usually with him reading a book and you playing with his hair as he rested his head in your lap.
One of his favorite pastimes however was when you would offer to wash his hair. You always thought he looked ruggedly handsome and carnal when he was in his element. You know it’s kind of off-putting to be attracted to something like that, but the sight of him when he had blood splattered across his cheeks and twisted into crimson ribbons throughout his hair was downright breathtaking. But you knew from your own experiences in battle that after a while, the blood cools and congeals into a sticky, wet mess on your skin and it was awfully discomforting after walking under the hot sun all day. Although Astarion would rather prefer an actual proper bath compared to scrubbing down in a freezing lake, he still insisted on using these special soaps and pomades which he may have acquired not so honorably stating that he wouldn’t be caught red-handed walking around smelling like ‘orthon roadkill’
He would give you detailed instructions on which products to use as you went and you dutifully complied just to see his expression turn to one of instant contentment as you scrubbed gently at his scalp to work the soap through the strands until the blood washed away and he was slowly oozing into a puddle of relaxation, almost slipping away into a short trance to rest his weary body. He would gladly return the favor in kind, making sure to wipe every patch of dirt and grime away until you were clean, his dexterous fingers feeling like an absolute godsend as they nimbly stroked thoroughly in your hair and he would smirk with pride when he had you moaning so sweetly just with his delicate touch.
He always enjoyed these small acts of intimacy that you shared with him and you helped show him a side of affection that was completely different from what he knew. There were no strings attached, no obligations he had to fulfill because there was no need for that. You were just expressing your care for him and you didn’t need to be repaid, always insisting on doting on him with your kindness and that made him nervous. He thought that after years of torment he would never actually catch a break or deserve any sort of reprieve after all of the awful things he went through, but you were his saving grace, the light at the end of the dark tunnel of his lonely existence. But as long as you were there, holding him in your arms and indulging him with your soothing touch, he felt like he could get used to this.
“You are worth so much more than you think, Astarion. I know it’s hard to see that, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to show you that.” Your hushed words struck him to his core and he desperately tried to contain the tears welling in his eyes from falling, pulling you closer to him as you both laid in your bedroll and left a chaste kiss on your lips in reverent gratitude. Although you two had only known each other for a short time now, you had already fallen for him and vice versa. There was no need to come to terms with your relationship until he was ready and if playing with his hair had been the beginning of your virtuous tenderness towards him, then he could not wait to see what else you had in store.
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Text
They're Mates - with Y/N
Summary - Feyre meets Rhys's Inner Circle and witnesses the strength of the mating bond.
Warnings - abusive family mentioned.
Other Notes - 1k words; Please note that most of these lines/plot points are inspired or directly quoted from ACOMAF; I originally posted this where Reader was given the name 'Vee' but am putting this one out for anyone who might prefer y/n.
Part Two
✨💫
Feyre looked up to see the same two males from earlier standing in the doorway, grinning, and a new presence. A beautiful female with wings like the others. She wore a deep blue gown that reached the floor––her hair resting over both her shoulders. The two males wore black leather with a sword strapped against their backs. Feyre noted the power each of them seemed to hold.
The male who was a bit large than the other, spoke up with a light chuckle. “We don’t bite. Unless you ask us to Feyre.”
The female shot him a pointed look. “Last time I checked, nobody wanted to take you up on that offer, Cassian.” The male who stood between the female and Cassian let out a light, short, laugh before whispering something into the female’s ear making her eyes twinkle subtly. Feyre watched as Cassian gave his own pointed look.
“No secrets in front of our guest, Az,” Cassian said with a grin.
The light danced across their faces allowing Feyre to observe their physical features for a moment. Similar to Rhysand, all three were dark-haired. Both males had tanned skin and hazel eyes. Feyre couldn’t quite tell the eye color of the female standing next to Az, but she gave off an air of beauty and power.
Cassian grinned again, looking Rhys and Feyre up and down. “You made poor Feyre dress up, brother,” he said before winking in her direction. His features were rough like someone had molded him, from the earth.
The second male was more classically beautiful, though hard to read. He was certainly the one who would be a surprise in the dark, the hidden knife. Feyre noticed the light sparkle in his eyes anytime he looked at the female to his left. It piqued a curiosity in Feyre.
Rhys said, “Azriel––my spymaster,” indicating the one in the middle. He then indicated the female. “Y/N. An emissary for the Night Court.” A name, Feyre later learned, Az had adopted for the emissary after she declared she did not want the name her abusive family had given her.
She immediately offered her hand with a warm smile. “Welcome, Feyre.” She gently squeezed Feyre’s before she quickly let go and Feyre does her best to not seem eager as she stepped back to stand next to the High Lord of the night Court, again.
“You’re brothers?” Feyre asked. The two males before her looked similar. The kind of similar where people who come from the same place do, not familial similar.
“All bastards are brothers in some sense,” Rhys responded, sticking his hands in his pockets.
Before Feyre could ask Cassian said, “And I command Rhys’s armies.”
Feyre nodded, shifting on her feet slightly before her eyes glanced to see Azriel taking another glance in the emissary’s direction. She looked right back with a smile that showed a clear fondness for the spymaster. The moment went as quickly as it came when Az turned his gaze to Feyre. “Cassian also excels at pissing everyone off. Especially amongst our friends. So, as a friend of Rhysand, good luck.”
Feyre was giving more attention to not being recognized as the girl Under the Mountain. She wondered, for just a moment if they knew––maybe they didn’t. That was quickly  answered when Cassian nudged past the Night Court’s spymaster requiring Az to flare his wings to keep himself balanced. Feyre watched Y/N’s hand fall to Azriel’s lower back to assist. Feyre noticed the fleeting moment of eye contact between the spymaster and the emissary, but it quickly became a second thought as Cassian asked his question about how Feyre had made the bone ladder in the Middengard Wyrm’s lair, when as he put it, “you looked like your own bones could snap at any moment.”
Y/N shot Cassian another pointed gaze, but it turned into a grin after Feyre made a sarcastic comment of her own. The general laughed and Azriel’s eyebrow lifted with approval as the shadows swirled around him, tighter. Feyre’s need to understand the gift only furthered when the shadows swirled up and around Y/N’s wrist playfully, before weaving around the ends of her hair.
Her curiosity once again was pushed to the side when Feyre heard, thankfully, a familiar voice…Mor. “I hope Cassian’s howling means Feyre told him to shut his fat mouth.”
Y/N quickly whispered something into Az’s ear, his shadows lightened slightly from around him. Feyre’s curiosity about the nature of their relationship increasing.
“I don’t know why I forget you two are related,” Cassian told Mor, while glancing over at Rhys for just a moment. “You two and your clothing.” The High Lord rolled his eyes, but Feyre had her own focus on the emissary and the spymaster who were both standing in silence, stealing glances at each other.
“I wanted to impress Feyre. You could have tried to make an effort to comb your hair,” Mor responded.
Cassian braced his feet a little farther apart on the floor in a fighting stance Feyre recognized, perhaps too well. “Unlike some people, I have better things to do with my time than sit in front of the mirror for hours,” the general bit back.
“Yes,” Mor the said, tossing her hair over her shoulder, “since swaggering around––”
“We have company,” Azriel said in a soft warning, spreading his wings as he tried to herd everyone.
“Relax, Az,” Mor said as she dodged the spymaster’s outstretched wing. “We won’t fight. We promised Rhys.”
Feyre barely noticed Az stop in his tracks, letting out the smallest of huff and his shadows seem to become thicker. She then watched as Y/N took one of Az’s hands in her own, gently pressing her lips to the back of it. His shadows lightened around him. Apparently the question about their relationship reached Feyre’s face because Rhys leaned down slightly to say, “They’re mates. Azriel and Y/N. They’ve known each other a little over 500 years and been mates just under 500.”
Feyre considered that fact, thinking there was something delicately beautiful about nearly 500 years of commitment between the two. Now she just had a few thousand more questions about the court’s spymaster and emissary. Question she decided were for another time as Mor indicated the empty seat beside her. Feyre knew the image of Az whispering into his mate’s ear and the twinkle in her eye would be etched into the back of her mind forever.
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gojos-thot-patrol · 9 months
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Geto/gojo/reader “I can’t believe there’s only one bed” and HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY
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THANK YOOUUU!! So, this one really sang to me, I went ahead and combined the two, mostly because they are very similar. Thank you both for the prompt!!
Now Presenting...
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Starring: A flirty Satoru Gojo, and a tired Suguru Geto
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Your body protested every step you took as you walked into the hotel, screaming at you to lay down and accept the sweet embrace of death. Okay, maybe death was a little extreme, but you could definitely have gone for a light coma in that moment. A yawn you had been suppressing came forward, and you tried to rub the sleep out of your eyes.
“Awe, well aren’t you cute when you’re sleepy.” Gojo teased with a smile, earning him a glare from you. 
“Shut up Satoru.” This entire trip he kept making note of how cute you were, and how you needed to be protected, and at this point, he was on the brink of losing vocal cord privileges.
“Flirt later you two, let’s just get checked in.” Suguru muttered as he ushered the two of you to the front desk. He tried to summon a friendly smile for the clerk, but it didn’t touch his tired eyes. “Hi! Uh, we should have two reservations under Masamichi Yaga.” He said, really hoping they didn’t ask for an id. He told his teacher that he should probably put the rooms under one of the three people going on the mission, but the man was more muscle than brain.
The young worker started typing on the computer, before confusion fell over her features. “Um, I found the reservations, but it says it’s only for one room?” She asked. You were a bit taken back by that, and you could tell from the looks on their faces the boys were too. You thought for sure you’d at least get your own room. But, then again, if getting a room with 3 beds was cheaper than getting 2 separate rooms, it did make sense for Yaga to take that route, the penny pinching bastard. 
“Uh, yea that should be fine, that’s us.” Suguru shrugged, too tired to really argue. Much to your relief (and concern) the woman nodded and happily gave over the room key, not bothering to ask for an ID. What a stand up place. The three of you dragged your tired worn bodies over to the elevator. Well, two of you did. Satoru felt fine, because of course he did. And because he had no problem filling the elevator with whatever came to his head. You shared a look with Suguru.
How do we shut him up? Your eyes asked.
Pillow over his face as he sleeps Sugurus eyes offered.
No, I want him to shut up now. 
Oh, that’s not gonna happen. For now, we just have to endure him.
You sighed, knowing he was right and hating that fact at the same time. Thankfully, the elevator door opened, and the room wasn’t far from it. Geto unlocked the door, and you and Gojo practically fell over him to get into it. You quickly went to grab your toothbrush, and Gojo went to fiddle with the tv. It was Suguru who noticed it first.
“Uh, guys? I don’t see another bed.” He said. You and Gojo stopped cold in your tracks, heads whipping to the center of the room and- yep. That was one bed, and only one bed. Not even so much as a pull out couch in sight. 
“OH ho ho!!” Satoru laughed, launching himself onto the bed and folding himself into what you think was meant to be a sexy pose. “I’ve read fan fiction before, I know what happens here!” He cackled, “Be gentle with me, I’m a virgin” He swooned, acting like a helpless flower. 
“I call sleeping in the bathtub.” Suguru said, checking out of this battle before it became a war.
“No, Don’t!” Gojo whined, reaching out to him, “The bathtub is cold and hard, I'm warm and soft. Unless you want me to be hard.” He winked. 
“I can’t believe there’s only one fucking bed, who sets this shit up?!” You snapped, aggressively waving your hands at the bed.
“God.” Gojo responded.
“Bad fan fiction writers.” Geto retorted, apparently salty about his characterization in my past fics. 
“Satoru get out of the bed.” You demanded, shaking your head. You did not just get out of a fight with ten, count em, ten first grade curses to sleep on the floor.
“How about you get in the bed?” He purred.
“I will, as soon as you get out of it.” you scoffed, fighting back a laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
“Why not get in it with me?” He grinned at you, opening his arms wide as an invitation. 
“I’d rather sleep in the bathtub.” You replied.
“Not an option, I already called it!” Suguru reminded you.
“Why don’t you sleep with him?” You accused more than asked, “He’s your man!”
“He is most definitely not my man!” Geto rebuffed the statement, shaking his head.
“He’s actually my man, we just haven’t taken our relationship to the next level yet.” Satoru purred with a cheeky wink to Geto to really seal the deal. Geto rolled his eyes.
“I’m going to bed, goodnight.” He said, going to grab a pillow from the bed, only for Satoru to grab his arm.
“Come on guys, don’t be silly! This bed is big enough for all of us!” He argued, “We all trust each other, right?!” Gojo paused long enough to look at both you and Geto, but not long enough for an answer. He already knew it. “We know no ones going to try any funny business, we trust each other with our lives there's no reason for any of us to be uncomfortable tonight!” you and Suguru shared more glances. Gojo may be annoying, but when he was right he was right. The only thing really keeping the three of you from sharing was standard social conventions. 
“Fine, but if any of you touch me I’m throwing you off the balcony.” You warned. Geto sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting on the bed.
“I just don’t get why we weren’t warned about this.”
“I mean, it kind of explains the weird look she gave us.” You noted, sitting on the other side of Gojo.
“Yay, sleepover!” Gojo cheered, grabbing onto Suguru because he was the one that didn’t threaten him, “Fair warning, I’m a cuddler.” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows for emphasis. 
“I knew I should have just slept in the tub.” Geto sighed.
🛏️🛏️🛏️
In the morning, you were a tangled mess of limbs and drool with your two best friends. Any warning against cuddling being tossed to the wind in exchange for the comfort human warmth brings. You hated to admit it, but it was the best sleep you had gotten in weeks. Gojo woke up not long after you, smiling softly, slowly coming back to life.
“Good morning,” He said. You shook your head and covered his face with a pillow.
“It was before you started talking.” You muttered.“It’s 6 am, go back to bed.” Suguru begged, not happy to have been woken up.
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prettylambgirl · 3 months
Text
My rules for 2024:
Dieting and health: Any weight above 55kg is unacceptable and I will not be living like this anymore
1. The 1200 calories a day is the maximum amount you should ever ingest, aim for 1000 calories. Never restrict too much, however, you have to study and function well in university.
2. The only drinks you are allowed are black coffee, unsweetened tea and diet coke. A plain latte is only allowed on a date or when hanging out with your friends. This should never be done more than twice a week.
3. Take your multivitamins in order to function well and treat your muscular problems.
4. Stretching is to be done every morning, for at least 10 minutes. It is not much, but it helps. You should walk everywhere, however, never let anyone convince you to take the bus when the destination is at a less than 20 minutes of walking distance. Aim for at least 5000 steps a day.
5. Drink 2l of water a day. Being hydrated is especially important for your skin and body.
6. Eat strategically. Only eat before class, before studying, only when you need the energy food provides. Never waste that energy when it's not necessary.
7. Never order fast food again. Learn how to resist the urge to say yes when it's being proposed. Your roommate is skinny, you are not. She can have it, you cannot.
8. You can indulge in some unhealthy things that bring you joy. Your nicotine addiction is manageable - try to replace cigarettes with vape liquid, it is less pricey and makes your room smell better. Slowly decrease the nicotine concentration until you are ready to completely drop it. The occasional wine is accepted, but count the calories in it and don't overindulge. Never are you to be seen in public smoking or drunk, however. Always keep these flaws secret.
Studying: Medical school is hard and demanding, but it is possible to get through it.
1. Any mark under an 8 is deemed unacceptable and you should strive for the better.
2. You know yourself well. Stop trying to mimic the way other people study, use the method you know has worked for you since the beginning. You are smart and capable.
3. Stick to your schedule religiously. Study every single day except for Saturdays. Every subject is to be revised and valued equally.
4. Start studying for examinations one week before it takes place. Strive for the best marks. Complete projects as soon as they are announced.
5. Always take notes, answer questions and be attentive during class. The people who judge you for this are jealous of your intelligence. Never shut up ever again.
6. Volunteering is essential: it gives you bonus points for future Erasmus projects. Therefore, you should attend such events once a month. Do not prioritize it over your studies, however.
Hobbies: You must have a personality and be cultured, besides being smart. Never let anyone see you as boring.
1. Reading is your favorite activity - aim to read 20 pages a day. Read 40 pages in the weekends. Read fashion magazines as well, in order to stay inspired.
2. Writing - on the weekends, try to write something: an article, a poem, some prose, a blogpost, anything you like. Never let that passion fade away.
3. Limit TV shows to 40 minutes per day, watch a movie on the weekend.
4. Go out to see the opera, a museum or an art exposition every month.
5. Stay up to date with the news in the industries that matter to you!!
Personality and Social Life: Things are going great, but they can be improved.
1. Always keep your cool. Never are you to rage in public ever again. People respect you, don't mess this up. You must always wear a confident smile, never show your weak side in public.
2. Be friendly and helpful. Always say hi when walking past someone you know and engage in conversations with your colleagues. However, you are not to overshare with people you do not know well. Keep the conversations going about themselves, not yourself, unless asked about.
3. Help people out whenever you are directly asked for. However, do not overdo it. Put yourself first.
4. Do not talk ill about anyone unless it's with your close friends or significant other. This can be used against you anytime.
5. Never seem too available. Only hang out if your schedule allows you to. Never fall into the trap of "study gatherings" as you know well you function better individually.
6. Keep in touch with your close ones daily. Ask about their day, show them that you care.
7. Hangouts must be limited to twice a week. You must only hang out with your boyfriend once a week. It hurts, but it keeps you both focused on your work.
8. Don't PDA at university, please. This has to stop once and for all. Limit it to hand holding and sitting together at less important courses. Do not show people how needy you are.
9. People who lack certain morals and are not compatible with you from this point of view should not be part of your life. Their negative energy impacts you a lot. Only speak to them if directly approached.
10. Don't be late, it's unacceptable. You must be present 10 minutes before the start of an event.
11. Never are you to be seen in nightclubs or places that may damage your reputation. If it doesn't characterize you to be in that place, stay home. Do not fear missing out on anything, you already saw enough.
12. Use social media for only 30 minutes daily.
Looks: Being put together is the key to success. It teaches you discipline.
1. Skincare must be done twice a day, morning and night. Keep it simple but consistent, as your skin is not compatible to harsh chemicals. Apply perfume and body sprays.
2. Makeup should be kept to a minimum, unless it's a special occasion: eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow gel, lip liner and lip gloss is the perfect recipe.
3. Your hair must be lustrous and well kept. Wear it down most of the time. Do a cute hairstyle once a week.
4. You must always be dressed up for the occasion: always wear preppy academic outfits to university, something more playful and fun when you go out, your lounge wear and pajamas should still be cute. Even if nobody sees you, you still can see yourself.
5. Buy some new clothes every month. Change it up, do not seem repetitive with your outfits.
6. Your clothes must always smell good, be meticulously ironed and fresh.
7. Never are you to wear the same outfit again in a week. People notice and you must not seem lazy.
8. You have to take care of yourself every week: shave, paint your nails and toenails, exfoliate, apply a face mask, wash your hair.
9. Shower every other day instead of every day as your skin dries out. After every shower, use lotions for your body. You must always smell like a cake.
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flametrashiraarchive · 10 months
Note
hi! i wanted to ask if you’re able to write any nsfw douma head cannons? it’s totally okay if you’re not able to :^)
*punches the air with both fists*
YESSS!
I hope this is okay. There's a warning near the end because the last part is about menstruation and him being fond of it and yeah... maybe you don't want to read that.
NSFW under the cut. Also mild spoilers for Douma's canonical personality.
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DOUMA x reader NSFW headcanons
He enjoys sex greatly as a prelude to dinner.
It helps tenderize the meat.
But he doesn't cum. Ever. The physical sensation is pleasant but empty.
Doesn't masturbate.
Until he meets you.
Douma has been complimented on his beauty all his life; it's expected at this point, but you're the first person he's met who compliments him with actions rather than words.
When you lean against him for comfort? When you ask how he's feeling when he's just sitting, staring into space? When you ask him to keep talking and discuss more than just mundane things??
Yes, he'll keep you around. You interest him.
You're also genuinely nice to him, and not for the promise of eternal paradise. You just... like him. He's not used to that.
When he confesses he's a demon and you just accept it? You don't scream and run away? You're his now.
People hunt and eat rabbits and keep bunnies as pets.
You're his soft little bunny and he so loves to play with you.
Will absolutely initiate tickle fights. Wins every time. (he's not even ticklish, he's just a menace.)
Kisses your nose when you're mad at him.
Fucks you against the wall (sometimes halfway up it)
He leaves marks every time you fuck.
Man's a biter.
Hickey king.
He wants everyone to know you're his. If you wear his marks proudly he'll pop a boner every time he sees you.
Coos over you when you get overstimulated. Finds it adorable and pretty funny when you're cockdrunk and fucked out.
Yes, you've fucked on that giant pillow he sits on for sermons.
Actually, you've fucked on every square inch of the temple.
Including the ceiling. it was your birthday, he wanted to make it special.
He is a big boy.
Likes when you sit in his lap and bounce on him. Puts his face in your tits and can't stop smiling.
Giggles when he makes you cum.
You discover together that he has very sensitive nipples. He whimpers the first time you flick one with your tongue.
HE FELT SOMETHING!!
"Do it again, pet..."
By the end of it he's a blushing mess. One more touch and he'll lose his mind. He needs... he needs...
He pulls you onto him, grips your hips and uses his strength to drive you up and down on him. You're his fleshlight now. He's done when he's done.
whimpers.
The first time he cums it's a jumpscare for him.
THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?
I see I see... let's do it again.
From that day on it becomes about how much mess the pair of you can make.
One day it occurs to him that his heart flutters whenever you're near.
Wants to turn you into a demon so you can be with him for eternity. Gets off on you being his helpless little human pet... why must life be so cruel?
WARNING: go no further unless you're okay with sex and cunnilingus during menstruation
Oh my oh my. When you bleed he's a whole new level of feral.
He will live between your thighs that entire week just... lapping it up.
It's nutritious and it's you. He loves it.
Fucking lies there on his belly, kicking his feet and fingering you so he can lick his fingers clean.
"Orgasms help with cramps, pet." he bats his eyelashes and smiles like he's only doing this for your benefit.
Man's a menace.
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noosayog · 5 months
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003 the grudge
✧ wc: 4.1k
✧ warnings/content: itoshi rin x reader, no gendered pronouns used but lease lmk if I missed any! sfw, angst to fluff (hopeful ending), arguments and lots of swearing. another fic where I project bc of messed up things my old romantic partners have said to me, hope y'all enjoy!
✧ GUTS masterlist, regular masterlist
divider from @/cafekitsune
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“How come you never ask me how my day is?” you ask. It’s quiet, like you’re scared of how he will respond. But you can’t help it. Every day, when Rin comes home from practice, you’re there to greet him at the door. You always have dinner ready no matter how tired you are. And every day, Rin grunts. On a good day, he gives you a peck on the cheek. On bad days, he throws his gym bag down and heads straight for the bath. Then, he comes to sit at the dinner table and eats silently. 
Just once, you’d like him to ask you how your day was. Maybe come home with flowers or a cake from the neighborhood bakery occasionally. You wouldn’t think it too much to ask, but the years of this routine make your question your every thought. You start to forget that being in a relationship shouldn’t consist of you walking on eggshells every day.
Rin looks up from his meal, swallowing before responding, “because you always tell me whether or not I ask.” 
It’s a reasonable response. But it’s cold and callous. Not the answer you were looking for. 
“But why can’t you just ask?”
He cocks his head. Confused, not annoyed. 
Not yet at least. 
“Why would I? If there’s something you wanna tell me, just say it.” 
“I just want you to want to ask sometimes. Makes me feel less like I’m forcing you to listen to me.” 
“You’re not.”
“I know, but that’s not the point.” 
“So what’s the point then?” 
You recognize the change in his tone. He’s starting to become irritated. 
“The point is that I just want you to show you care sometimes. Without having me to ask you to do it.” 
“Jesus,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it loud and clear all the same. 
“Is it that unreasonable for me to ask that of you?” 
“Fine. How was your day?” he grits out, forcing a smile that looks more like he’s baring his teeth at you. 
“Rin, this isn’t what I want.” 
He puts his chopsticks down loudly. “You just said that’s what you wanted. So I’m doing it.”
“Not like this, Rin,” you say frustratedly, not sure how else you can communicate. “I just want you to want to be here with me. Act like you’re my boyfriend and that you’re happy to do it.” 
“I wouldn’t be here, living with you, if I didn’t. What else do you want from me?”
It’s condescending and patronizing. It makes you feel like you are being the childish one here. 
“Is it so hard that once in a while, you do something extra to show it?” you ask, voice small. “Like getting me flowers or even surprising me with a treat from the bakery I like?” 
Rin runs a hand down his face, not even bothering to hide how foolish he thinks this conversation is. You feel the sting behind your eyes start to build. 
“If you want flowers and a cake or something, just tell me. I’m not a fucking mind reader. How would I know you want those things unless you tell me?” 
“I’m not saying I want flowers or a cake specifically. But-” 
“Then what do you want!” He's yelling now. “I’m telling you I’ll buy the damn flowers if you ask. You’re always expecting people around you to read your mind. Use your fucking words!” 
At that, you shrink away, closing in around yourself as you recall the phone call between the two of you months ago, having very much the same conversation. 
“You always expect the people around you to read your mind. Why don’t you use your fucking words when you want something?” 
That’s unfair, you think. In every other situation, you would agree. You do have a problem with communicating what you want. You know that. But should you really have to ask to have Rin tell you he loves you once in a while? For him to just show he cares by taking initiative and doing something nice for you? To want him to want to do something for you, even as simple as asking how your day was when he gets home without you having to ask? 
But your insecurities get the best of you and objectively, he’s right. You answer in a small voice, “Sorry, Rin.” 
There’s silence on the other line and for one second, you think that he’s going to apologize too and the floodgates would open and you two would open up and share everything that’s been building up. 
Instead, you hear a click. Rin had cut the line. 
When you have nothing else to say, Rin stands up, storming towards the bedroom, muttering, “Jesus, you’re always like this. Don’t start an argument if you can’t finish it.” 
The bedroom door slams. 
– 
Rin is used to silence, prefers it actually. He gets enough noise from the daily racket the Blue Lock team makes. So at night, when he comes home to you, he appreciates the way you let him be. He’s content to sit there, listening to you talk quietly about your day. Your voice is a soothing one in comparison to the rowdy, grating ones of his teammates. 
So when you ask him to take initiative to start the conversation sometimes, he’s uncomprehending. Your daily routine is fine as is; don’t his nods and noises of acknowledgement show that he’s listening to you? He gets enough nagging from Isagi and Bachira to talk more; he really doesn’t need to hear it at home too. 
He can’t understand what it is you want him to do, because you were the one who strong-armed yourself into his life, persistent in trying to converse with him at the coffee shop you both frequented, until he finally asked you out on a date. You were always the one to initiate conversation. 
So when you propose change to the relationship dynamic, Rin feels like you’re throwing a big wrench in the cogs that seem to be working perfectly fine. 
After a long, hot shower, Rin goes back into the bedroom, expecting to find you curled up in bed. Rin isn’t worried. Regardless of whether you were still sulking or ready to go back to your usual self, he knows from experience that he just needs to reach his arms out and you would be eagerly pushing yourself into his side of the bed to get as close as you possibly can. 
But when he enters the bedroom, the room is empty and the beddoor he slammed shut before remains closed. It’s then that he hears some shuffling in the living room, a couple of muffled sniffles and the quiet click of a door shutting. That wasn’t the sound of the spare bedroom door. That’s the sound of the front door. 
Immediately, Rin bolts out to the kitchen. There, he finds all the dishes cleaned and put away, the dining table wiped down. You are not to be found. 
Waves of frustration wash over him again. If you were going to be so upset about this, why won’t you just come find him and tell him? Rin thinks you could not have proved his point from your earlier argument any better than just up and leaving in a tantrum. 
He should call, he thinks. If it were him, he’d just prefer space, quiet, and some alone time, but knowing you, he thinks you’d appreciate at least a gesture. 
No, he rethinks. Just give them some time to calm down. 
Pushing down the wave of worry, he slumps onto the couch, telling himself you’ll come home soon. The seconds drag by like hours so he puts on game footage to rewatch to pass the time. The seconds do not pass by any quicker as he continues to glance at his phone between plays. 
Finally, he can’t handle it anymore and dials your number. The line rings once, twice, then he hears buzzing from the kitchen. Rin walks towards the source of the sound and finds your phone on the kitchen counter. It sits there, the buzzing continuing, mocking him. 
Rin lets it ring for a couple of moments longer before he grabs a coat and bolts out the door. 
Stupid! Who leaves without their phones? 
It’s well after sunset and dark outside. Even if the two of you live in a nice neighborhood, you should know better than to wander around by yourself after dark. Without your phone no less. 
How long has it been since you’ve left? 
As he runs by all the convenience stores in the area and the minutes go by without being able to find you, his irritation at your irresponsibleness morphs into guilt. He should’ve come out much sooner to find you, shouldn’t have let you cry by yourself. Now you’re out somewhere, crying all alone on the night streets of Tokyo. Irrational panic wells up in his chest at the thought of someone taking advantage of your vulnerable state. 
When he exhausts all of his options, he sighs, knowing the only place left unchecked is one of your friend's places. The same friends who he knows dislike him. The same ones who think you can do better. 
He reluctantly pulls out his phone to give your friends a call; if they pick up, he’ll come get you and the two of you will go home together. But the first thing that greets him is a text saying you’re fine and that you are indeed at a friend’s place to crash for the night. Unsure of where that leaves him, he returns to your shared apartment. 
And as Rin sits with the sterile kitchen and unusual quiet of the space, for the first time ever, he really contemplates the idea of you finding someone better. He dimly remembers a similar conversation the two of you had, perhaps over the phone a while back? Through all the years he has known you, he supposes it is a habit of yours to want things without vocalizing them. Like the times the two of you are watching a movie together and you look between his cup of tea and the kitchen until he gets the hint to go make you a cup. Or when you’re eating together and you stare at his plate until he spoons some of whatever he’s having into your waiting mouth. Rin’s not too sure how those unremarkable situations are different from what happened at dinner tonight. 
And while Rin has never minded taking care of you and learning all the ins and outs of your body language, he’s realizing that these little things that rarely register in his mind may have been snowballing in yours. 
But on days when he comes home, totally spent from practice, he acknowledges that he won’t be able to put the effort into fulfilling your unsaid desires. And that’s almost every day. 
So as he sits on the couch, visualizing a life of yours without him, he thinks it might be for the best. He waits at home for you. When you come home, the two of you can have a mature conversation about a future where you are with someone who can make you happy. 
It’s late morning when you return home, unsurprisingly but not unexpectedly finding the apartment empty. Rin has gone to practice. 
You berate yourself for even wishing for one moment that Rin would have skipped practice to wait for you.
You suppose it’s like all your expectations of Rin: things piling up that you wish he would do but you never ask him for. 
You busy yourself cleaning, reading, watching TV, napping. The day passes by painfully slowly. You finally hear the click of the front door right as you finish preparing dinner – an elaborate meal of Rin’s favorites as your way of meeting him in the middle. 
You greet him at the door and after he takes off his shoes and drops his bag, he meets your eyes. There’s no detectable expression; he doesn’t look particularly surprised, upset, nor happy to see you at home waiting for you. 
What he does do, however, is walk up to you and pull you into his arms. 
His gesture overwhelms you. It’s not exactly what you’ve been asking for, but it’s enough. You sniffle lightly into his jacket. He just holds you and you let him – it’s precisely what you want and need. 
After a while of the two of you simply standing together in the entryway, your arms around his waist remain tight as you ask, “what are you thinking about, Rin?” 
He’s silent but squeezes your shoulders. 
A smile overtakes your lips. That’s when you remember you had prepared dinner for him. This seems like an appropriate time to offer it up as an apology, but Rin doesn’t seem to be ready to move. 
You let go, intending to lead him to the dinner table, but even as your arms unwind from around him, his hold remains tight. 
“Rin?” 
“I’m thinking about how I’m going to let you go.” 
You freeze. 
Rin doesn’t say anything more. He lets the words hang in the air and no matter how long the two of you stand there, the words don’t change. 
“I thought you came home to make up with me,” you say. 
Rin still refuses to let go. “I’ve thought about it,” he says quietly, slowly. “I think I finally get what you want from me. But I can’t give you that. I can’t be different and that might mean that I can’t be what you want. At least not in an emotional partner.” 
You shove him away. “You don’t know that! How can you know what I want! I never-” 
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t think I can give you what you want without needing you to ask for it. And I think you deserve someone who can.” 
You shake your head, different tears rearing to make an appearance. “You said it yourself, Rin. You’re not a mind-reader. I know I have to do a better job of telling you when I…” 
He shakes his head too. 
“No, I don’t think you’re asking too much. I think you’re completely right. But I can’t do it. There’s definitely someone else out there who can do it for you.” 
“If it’s not too much to ask, then why can’t you try! Why are you just giving up? You’re so unwilling to try that you’d rather break up?!” 
You’re hysterical at this point. Rin’s calm demeanor just makes it worse. 
“I love you,” Rin says solemnly. “but I can’t keep hurting you like this. Especially when I know I can’t change.” 
Rin says every word deliberately, with finality. Every word drains more and more fight from you. 
“Cant? Or won’t?” 
Rin only meets your gaze steadily. 
There are no more words, no more fight you have left. What more can you do but say okay? 
– 
For Rin, everything has gone exactly as he had expected. He would go even as far as to say that the night the two of you agreed to break up, he slept dreamlessly. He went to practice the following day and performed just as usual. He had dinner alone, but he’s no longer in a position to wonder where you spent dinner and so he cleans up and showers and falls into another fitless sleep. 
It’s only when the weekend comes around that something starts to stir. 
As agreed, you decide to move out despite Rin offering the apartment to you. It was a strange feeling when you had told him the apartment had too many memories for you to remain in it alone. He has never thought of it that way before, associating a tangible thing to an intangible feeling, unless it was a soccer ball flying into a goal. 
Sae had come over to help you move out. 
During your years of dating, Rin was aware that you and his older brother got along well. While your friendship with his brother had never really bothered him, he had also never considered you closer to Sae than he, himself, to Sae. 
So he finds it uncomfortable that Sae is the one helping you leave. 
But despite his initial reservations, the morning goes by uneventfully, the two brothers packing your things away into boxes. 
After lunch, you decide to join Sae to pack your half of the kitchen while Rin takes the bathroom. It takes him less than 30 minutes to separate all your items from his, a variety of colorful bottles and jars that he’s never touched. It takes even less time to pack them away into one single plastic container. 
Something strikes Rin in the gut when he realizes how easy it is to pack years into a single box. Unable to shake the punching feeling in his gut, he picks up a bottle of lotion that has been untouched by either of you for years to ask if you’d like to take it. He could care less about the lotion but he needs to walk away from the unfamiliar sight of the sink now only decorated with a sparse scattering of his grey-tone products. 
When he turns the corner to the kitchen, he sees you sitting on the counter, dictating items for Sae to grab from the cabinets. The domesticity between the two of you in his home makes the punchy feeling he wants to run from punch harder. 
He watches Sae point at a matching set of mugs, ones that Rin remembers easily. He surprises himself with how easily the memory of those mugs resurfaces: a vivid image of the two of you in a home goods store picking your first couple’s mugs. You shake your head and Sae moves to the next items in the cabinet. Rin’s gut wrenches at how easily you make your decision to leave those mugs behind. 
The next items are a set of glasses the two of you had bought as a souvenir on a weekend trip to Osaka. They weren’t matching, one of the glasses littered with various cute images associated with Osaka and the other with only printed lettering of “Osaka” on it. Despite the contrasting designs, he remembers you putting the glasses that each of you individually picked out together and squealing over how they look like a matching set. He didn’t understand then but as he watches you direct Sae to pack the glass with the cute images and leave the glass with the simple lettering, he starts to understand. His glass gets left in the cabinets. 
When the cabinet has been picked and chosen through to your liking, Sae moves over to where you’re sat on the counter and offers his hand to help you off. You take it and hop off. The scene that unfolds next is what finally makes Rin realize that the uncomfortable feeling in his chest is akin to that of a heart attack, no, even more pedestrian – jealousy. 
He watches as your expression crumbles and you bury your face into your hands. It hits him that it’s the first time he has seen you cry after the breakup. And on instinct, he begins to walk to where you are to offer comfort, but it’s Sae who wraps one arm around you and runs his hands up and down your arm. 
It strikes Rin then. 
It's one thing to think about letting you go be with someone who is the partner you deserve. 
It's another to actually do it and see it. It's another thing to go through with it. 
And the most jarring realization today is that maybe Rin is more capable of what he had originally thought. Maybe he can’t read your mind, but the years of being with you, living with you, loving you, has taught him that he can understand you without needing you to say anything. 
Like right now. Sae has one arm around your trembling figure, pulling you into his side, but what you really want is someone who will wrap both arms around your shoulders. You’d push your damp face into the nearest neck or collarbone when one arm comes up to cradle your head. You’d whimper when the one holding your nuzzles their face against your hair. It’s muscle memory. 
For both you and him. 
And just like that, Rin changes his mind. 
He charges onto the scene. 
“I’ll take it from here.” 
– 
“I’ll take it from here.” 
Sae lifts his arm from your shoulder, but by instinct, you cower, stepping behind him, just enough to hide your face. It takes you a few seconds to pull yourself together, school your expression to face Rin. When you look up, you find that the brothers have come to some sort of silent understanding, Sae nodding and patting your head before vacating the apartment, leaving you and Rin and the thick haze of tension. 
Sae forgotten, you swipe messily at your face one last time for stray tears, playing it off as wiping the sweat from your forehead. 
You turn back to the cabinets, busying yourself by reaching up for the remaining mugs. “We almost finished the kitchen. I just need to go through a couple more cupboards and…” 
“Hey.” 
You feel him before you hear him. Rin is all up in your space, one hand resting on the counter to your left, caging you against the counter. 
“Stop,” his commanding voice tells you. 
You turn around. 
“Can I take it back?” he asks. 
You fluster. 
“Oh! Um,” you respond, voice startlingly loud. “The mugs? Which one did you want to keep? I didn’t mean to take-” 
“Not that,” he stops your rambling. “Can I take what I said back? About breaking up. I want to take it all back.” 
He pries the mug from between your fingers and sets it back into its home in the cupboards. 
“What does ‘take it back’ mean?” you squeak out. 
“It means I don’t want to break up anymore.” 
Your mouth moves faster than your brain. 
“You can’t just take a break up back.” 
“So how can I do it then? I’ll do anything.” 
“You can’t!” you raise your voice then. “You just… can’t.” the last word uttered as a whisper. 
“Yes, we can. Tell me what to do. I’m sorry. Sorry. I know you do a lot for me and I thought I couldn’t do that for you. But I know I can. I can do it better than anyone else. So please, let me take it back.” 
“Do you even know what we were arguing about in the first place? Do you remember that one time, so long ago, you said the same thing to me over the phone? To use my fucking words? Well maybe you don’t, but I remember every word.”
“I remember,” he says honestly. “And I’m sorry I said it that way. So much that it hurt you. So much that you still remember the exact words I said to you. But I don’t need to read your mind.
“Though I would like you to tell me explicitly what you like sometimes,” he adds thoughtfully. 
“But, I’ve loved you for long enough now that I don’t need to read your mind to know what you need. Maybe I won’t always know what you want, so I’ll still need you to tell me sometimes, but I always know what you need.” 
A lot of the things Rin says are very matter of fact and this is no different. He knows before you do that you’ll give in. 
He closes the small distance and pulls you into a tight embrace. It’s enough to open the floodgates. 
“Do you even know how many hours I’ve spent practicing arguments against you in my head? In the shower, in the car, when I’m getting ready for bed? You can’t just say a few sorry’s and think it’s enough.” 
“Mhm,” he nods, cradling your head in a way you know he knows makes you the most vulnerable. 
“I make you feel so guilty in my imagination. I don’t want to feel like that anymore,” you sob. 
“Yeah,” he says, continuing to stroke your hair.
“And you can’t talk to me like that anymore.” 
“I won’t,” he promises. 
He lets you soak his shirt with tears and after what feels like hours, you finally bring your hands up to clutch tightly at his shirt. 
“So how was your day?” he asks. 
You pinch his sides. “Not now, idiot.” 
You hear him chuckle a bit, the vibrations against your body comforting. He continues holding you, though, just the way you know he knows you like.
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snipersfucker · 10 months
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As someone new to transformer fics, I'd love a fic where Mirage and the reader learn what the others name for body parts are (hand/servo, etc.) And obviously Mirage uses it as an opportunity to put the moves on the reader.
yall are so creative with these i legit opened my mouth when i read that...... such a good idea omg lets go (im so deep in that shit i legit remember most robot names for these body parts without having to look em up lmao)
"That's a chassis."
You let out a sigh as Mirage pointed at another part of his metal body. You knew you wouldn't be able to remember all these ridiculously strange names, but still wanted to be a good student, especially because you asked him to teach you.
"Mine's a bit bigger than the ones your little boys have."
And there it was. His constant bragging, showing-off, comments that indicated he was damn aware he was better than humans.
You raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, not having to look up that much because he was sitting on his... aft. Or something.
"Helm, face plate, optics, pedes, tank..." He kept pointing at random body parts of his, naming them as fast as he could just to get to the most interesting ones he could use to finally rizz you up.
"'m surprised you don't have a diploma for being the best teacher ever, Mirage," you muttered under your breath shamelessly, sarcasm dripping from your tongue as you stood there with your arms crossed on your chest.
He liked the way you said his name, even if it wasn't in a particularly nice tone.
"No speaking unless you're being spoken to, miss," he reprimanded you like a strict teacher would, using his best Optimus Prime voice. Then, before you could talk back, he extended his left arm, putting it right in front of your face. He made a fist but allowed his middle finger to stay up, "What's this called?" he asked you, even though you haven't gone through this particular body part yet.
"Flipping someone off, sir," you answered in an overly eager, sweet tone, as if you were trying to sound like the teacher's pet.
You calling him sir made his spark skip a beat or two.
"Wrong." He lowered his hand and placed it on his metal thigh with a soft clang. He shook his helm in fake disappointment, letting out a long sigh. "It's a digit. And what do we do with digits?" he continued in a teacher's voice, making a specific motion with his servo to encourage you to answer his question, even though he automatically did so in his mind.
We put them inside disobedient girls.
"We flip people off, sir," you responded in a fake innocent, childish tone, straightening your back and smiling widely as if waiting for praise for giving him a good answer. It made you cringe internally but you also thought it was funny so the choice whether to continue talking like that or just leave was easy to make.
He snorted at your words, shaking his head in amusement once more as he brought his servo to your body and flicked your arm gently with his two digits.
"That's what we do with 'em."
"Oh, fuck off." You smacked his servo before he could pull it away from you. Even though you could barely feel the flick of his robot fingers, you still massaged your arm, hoping it'd make him feel at least a little bit bad, and he'd stop bullying you.
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" He raised his optical ridge at your words, not being able to fight back a teasing smirk forming on his lips.
You could kiss me with that mouth.
As soon as the thought appeared in his mind, he immediately got rid of it, not letting it distract him.
"Tibulen, cadulen..." he began naming other body parts, and there was no way in hell you'd be able to remember those. "Glossa..." He stuck his metal tongue out, pointing at it lazily with his index digit.
A question popped up in your head, "You got saliva?"
For the first time, you were actually curious about something, expecting an actual, truthful response, but instead you got what Mirage was best at. Sarcasm.
"Oh, yeah, our saliva's made out of corrosive acid actually. Cool stuff." He shrugged nonchalantly as if what he just said was nothing. "Want me to spit on you so you can get the drill?" he asked overly casually, already slightly leaning in your direction.
He was having so much fun...
You grimaced at his question, even though you knew he was most likely joking. Most likely.
"Pass," you murmured under your breath.
"...But there are other ways you could... feel it."
His time to shine has come which he was very much aware of.
His unnecessarily mysterious tone made you snort quietly, an eyebrow involuntarily raised as you asked him with amusement dancing on your tongue, "Care to share?"
He tilted his head with a very, very sly smirk on his lips, which partly gave you an answer to your question. The realisation almost made your face drop but you contained yourself, and just rolled your eyes at his silent offer, pretending not to notice the heat spreading across your own cheeks.
"No."
"I didn't say anything," he responded in an amused, innocent tone, raising his servos in a defensive gesture.
"Yeah, but your eyes said a lot," you argued, the sudden shift in your confidence making you unable to find the situation as funny as before.
He made an unbelievable amount of butterflies awaken and fly around in your stomach, and as pleasant as it felt, you couldn't show him that.
"Optics," he corrected you immediately, playful superiority in his tone coming back just in time to crush you once more. He leaned in, making the gap between your faces a lot smaller than before. "And I'm pretty sure you're just imaginin' things," he added teasingly, the smirk almost challenging you.
His plan was working.
"Am I?" You tilted your head slightly to the left, your gaze never leaving his blue optics.
The intensity of your eye contact made him back off just a bit, before he shook his head in both amusement and surprise at the sudden comeback of your confidence.
"We're not done yet," he just said, which may have sounded like a warning but you felt like he was talking about something else than this game you were both playing. "I didn't show you everything," he explained, even though this lesson about his anatomy was the smallest thing occupying his mind at the moment.
You refrained yourself from frowning, feeling pretty sure that he'd already named every single body part of his possible, but you didn't want him to notice how little attention you were actually paying. So you just nodded, getting ready to hear more of that very interesting stuff.
"...Ever seen a metal dick?"
Your jaw almost dropped when your brain registered his shameless question. You couldn't even say anything to that, just unsurely shaking your head to show him that you, in fact, have never seen a metal dick.
And you thought he was about to offer to present one to you just now, but he just let out an amused noise. "Too bad."
And with these words, he transformed into a silver Porsche and drove past you towards the exit of the garage, leaving you confused, breathless, and wanting something more...
might make a part 2 for this with smut if you want
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naompspsps · 21 days
Text
How they would act when you fall asleep on their shoulder Pt. 3
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Part 2 (Floyd, Idia & Vil x Nb!Reader)
Summary: You had a long morning, and you didn't even get enough sleep so now you are very tired, But sitting with them in the courtyard during lunch break, while they talk you find yourself falling asleep, your head on their shoulder.
Ft. Epel, Lilia & Malleus x NB!Reader [Seperate] (+Epel mentioning Vil, ofc., Wingman Lilia in Malleus' part, Lilia mentioning Silver in Malleus' part)
A/n: If people are scared of Malleus, Then Imma be the one to go near him. MALLEUS COME GIVE ME A HUG (this man is literally 1 foot and 3 inches taller than me but okay)
Mentions: Epel speaking his own accent cuz Vil aint here. Epel calling you darling at the end of his short story, Lilia calling you love at the end of his short story. MALLEUS NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO BUT DOES THE MOST TOE CURLING, AIR PUNCHING, BED PUNCHING, OXYGEN NEEDING THING EVER. Fluff<33
(Warning: Character may be OOC from what you think, these are just hcs of how I think they'd act towards their crushiecakes)
! do not repost or translate my works anywhere. do not copy or use my works in any site, Reblogs are appreciated alot though !
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Epel
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At some point we all just thought he was a female, blame his appearance. (but he's still our pretty manly boy 😔) So he was pissed at you for a while, until you both got along and that was when he realized "oh. I have a crush."
So you sleeping on him is one of the best things to ever happen to him. He would fanboy so much but he knows he has to stay quiet, don't wanna bother you in your sleep or you would give him silent glares. He hates that. He will try not to cry but end up sobbing. He'll do the basic thing, let you rest on him while he reads the rule book Vil made just for him because He kept on doing his own sporty thing.
"This is so darn annoying!" Epel curses under his breath, flipping through the pages. He looks at you; looking at the pages but you weren't reading it, just staring at it's non-existent soul. He doesn't mind it though, he continues his own thing, reading the book so he doesn't have to get another 1 hour of scolding. "Vil.. Always tryna judge me.." Epel mutters. His attention goes back to you as you set your head down on his shoulder and closing your eyes.
"Hey- [Name]??" He tilts his head to the side, checking if you were alright. "Ah. Yer' asleep.. And yer' using my shoulder as a pillow..." He whispers, his face slowly turning red in realization. "Oh.. Oh." He looks away, clearly panicking. What should he do?! Be manly. Be.. Manly. He moves his hand to your waist, pulling you closer while his other hand flips through the pages of the book that's on his lap. "Rest well, Darlin'." He mumbles.
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Lilia
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Being honest for the millionth time; you don't even need to surprise him. He's been noticing how you've been falling asleep in the most random times ever. Which is why you are on the grass, sitting under the apple tree, to help him and you to hide from the sun. He just tells you to sleep on his lap, with his blazer folded into a pillow on his lap. (Father and son moments LMAOO)
He would probably cook for you later (Im sorry he literally would. Unless you escape from his cooking but 💀💀) so forget about you eating, you can eat later when it's breaktime. You need sleep, energy. How will you do your schoolworks if you're that exhausted? Meaning with no energy, you can get more stressed by having more piles of assignments. He would definitely try to help you do your assignments later, but matters aside, he knows you're tired.
Listening to Lilia's babbles is interesting, one side of you thinks his stories are interesting, but the other side is telling you you're to tired to listen to more. Lilia has had his eyes on you for a while now. While he talks, He's just been folding his blazer and putting it on his lap. "So that's what happened to him, funny, right?" He asks, Pressing the blazer for it to get comfy. "Mhm.." You tiredly nod. Your head slowly falls on his shoulder. "Ah- Just as I expected." He mumbles.
You slowly raise your head to look at him confusedly. "..What?" You ask. "Khee-hee, you're tired aren't you? come here." Lilia holds your hand, his free hand grabbing your head and pulling your head on his lap. "Go take a nap. You must have a hard time in class, yes?" You stare at him for a moment and shrug, getting into positions and sleeping. Seems comfy enough, he can just wake you up if the bell rings. Maybe he can use this as his opportunity, He softly hums a lullaby, a song he used to hum Silver when he was a baby. Once you were fully asleep, he smiles. "Khee-hee- Dream about me love."
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Malleus
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To start with this, Malleus doesn't even know what to do :D He's just there like 'What do I do???' but you should thank Lilia for teaching Malleus. Lilia just tells Malleus to let you sleep, if he wants he can even let you sleep on him but in a more comfortable position. Malleus fans and lovers, don't go insane but believe me he would carry you with ease and put you on his lap, hugging you.
Lilia just laughs at how he's brave enough to even do that. Once you wake up he probably expects screaming and panicking. Not like the murderous scream, no. The literal embarrassed, simping scream ever. Malleus is happy you aren't afraid to sleep on him and he will continue to let you sleep on him as much as you want<3
"[Name], What do you think about that?" Malleus asks you, who is currently dozing off. "[Name]?" He calls out, eyes slightly widening in surprise as you fall asleep on his shoulder. Watching you sleep peacefully on him, his eyes sparkles. But he goes back to reality, not knowing how to help you. He knows you're sleeping and it's reasonable but, how does he know if your comfortable? "Maybe you should help them get comfortable by letting them lie down on you or.. Hug them." Lilia says, hanging upside-down at the apple tree. "Lilia? What are you doing here?" Malleus looks up, Lilia hums and walks back down to the floor.
"I'm just looking out for you and the others, I'm gonna go find Silver next, He might be sleeping in the hallway again." He takes steps away, but turns back to Malleus. "Take my advice, you really should do either of those." He chuckles, walking away. It just leaves Malleus, looking at you. "Hug.. them..?" He repeats. He softly shakes his head, grabbing your waist, soft enough to not awake you and putting you on his lap, he wraps his arms around your waist, your head resting on his chest. "..Will you have a good dream if I hug you like this?.." He asks and sighing. "I do hope you do."
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Author's end note: I hope I didn't accidentally smack any of yall to sleep Lilia, Malleus and Epel lovers because I smacked myself to sleep because of Malleus. I got smacked asleep by my own story.
! do not repost or translate my works anywhere. do not copy or use my works in any site, Reblogs are appreciated alot though !
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lure-of-writing · 7 months
Text
Why can't we?
Authors Note: Oh My gosh guys, the love on part two was insane, truly thank you so much. It makes me so happy seeing all the comments and reposts it means the most to me. Part three is officially here and I am so excited for you to read it and I can't wait to see what you guys think about it. Without giving the ending away I would love to hear what you guys think about an alternative ending? Anyways if you have any request or ideas please send them in and again thank you all so much!
Summary: After leaving the night court you begin to find your place in your new life, that is until the night court comes to be directly in your home.
Word count: 4.0k
Warnings: Angst, arguing, (Let me know if I forgot any!)
Part one: Never been good enough
Part Two: Left in regret
Thesan was waiting for your arrival with the captain of the peregryn army in the common area of his home. They had been waiting no more for ten minutes until they heard the thundering of wings and watched as Kolos landed with you in his arms.
Kolos was second in command under his captain and a lifelong friend of yours. Having been raised alongside him you knew he would never pass judgment upon you and also provide the support you would undoubtedly need in the following weeks as you figured out how to put your life back together. You were born into the dawn court but had chosen to leave with the idea of being able to be used to your full potential as a spy and you did in fact find that in the night court but you had also never regretted a decision as much as you also loved the people you met and memories you made from that said decision. 
“Y/n welcome back home to the dawn court, we have missed you sincerely.” Thesan the living embodiment of calm energy welcomed you with open arms and a warm hug. “I assume all went well?” you could tell that the question was directed at Kolos “Yes they didn’t try to stop us but I think y/n has something very important to tell the two of you.” Without another word Thesan took a seat in a chair and motioned for everyone to do the same. “Azriel…Azriel is my mate.”  you watched with a baited breath for anyone to say anything and for a while no one did that was until your high lord spoke up. “And how do you feel about that?” 
“Well considering that he's in love with Elain, not very great. But I am not going to force either of us to be in a relationship that the other does not want. He was only apologetic because we are mates. If we weren’t he would have never chosen me.” In the week that you had been residing back in your home court you had kept all this information to yourself, unwilling or maybe even unable to accept the cards you had been dealt but to finally tell someone other the Kolos felt like lifting a weight off your chest. Like it was a start in the right direction to leaving the past and starting anew. 
“This is certainly unexpected information.” the captain spoke up “Yeah you’re telling me.” a breathy laugh fell from your lips as you glanced at your high lord waiting to see what he had to say. “I guess that means I can expect letters from Rhysand or maybe even a visit from the night court?” Thesan looked at you in question. “Oh no, I don’t think that will be happening. I made myself very clear to Azriel that I didn’t want to be his second choice or anything like that. If I haven’t been good enough for him in the almost five hundred years of knowing him then why would I suddenly be good enough now? I’m not interested in partaking in those mind games.” 
“Very well. I support whatever decision you make. Always.” you bowed your head in appreciation to the kind ruler. For as long as you remember Thesan has always been kind to you, always let you do as you wish and have control over your own life. He never offered any input unless asked and always listened with compassion while allowing you to figure out your own life, the least you could do is serve in his court to at least restart to repay him for all the care and compassion he has shown you in life. “Thesan? If you would allow it, I would be honored to serve in your court again, it's the least I can do to repay the kindness you have shown me.”  you could tell the captain was uneasy with your request and it made sense you had just come from the night court claiming Azriel as your mate and now wanted to serve in his lover's court. But truly you wanted nothing more than to leave behind the past and start building your new life in the dawn court. The court you were always supposed to be in. “It would be an honor to have you serve in my court.” 
Surprisingly it had been almost six months after leaving before the night court reached out to set up a meeting with you and the high lord but upon your request it was denied. You had finally settled into a routine not only within the court but within your own life and you had no plans of having any member of letting the night court interrupt that. “So how many more times do you think that they are going to send a letter before they get the hit?” Kolos sat at the kitchen table and watched as you made the both of them breakfast. “Honestly I don’t know. It's one thing in Rhysand is sending them himself but it's another if Azriel is asking him to send them. You know how Illyrians are, too stubborn for their own good.” Kolos couldn’t help but laugh at your statement for it held nothing but truth. “I suppose you are not wrong but what happens if there is a high lords meeting? You will be expected to attend.” The food was set before him as you moved to take the seat next to him. You placed you head on your head and smiled at him “It's a good thing I have my own personal warrior to protect me” 
During the first initial weeks you stayed in the court palace but soon after you moved into Kolos house. At first it was only because you would never pass up the opportunity to live with your friend, especially in the time of trying to move past your old life of the night court and what's a better idea then moving forwards with the support of a lifelong friend. As the six months came and went you found yourself becoming interested in Kolos and it was safe to say that the same could be said for him. The line that was becoming increasingly more blurred of friends and lovers had never been crossed but something told you that it would be very soon. 
You were at the daily meeting with Thesan and all of his other trusted advisors including Kolos when the announcement was made. “Rhysand has requested a high lords meeting, he also asks that it be held here.” there it was, the final card that you knew Rhysand had to play. Unlike most courts, Thesan had two emissaries, one was an older male and the other was you. He handled the day and night court while you handled the summer, spring, autumn and winter court. Theo, your counterpart, could not handle the likes of Berons offspring but unlike him nothing brought you more joy then the verbal sparring match that was bound to happen while dealing with Eris. Being in charge of the seasonal courts meant you had no idea what was happening with the other ones. Didn’t know it was escalating to the point of a high lords meeting being called but you also knew that when it came to Rhysands brothers he would stop at nothing to help them. 
You could feel everyone's eyes on you. Nobody knew the full reason as to why you had returned to the dawn court but your departure from the night court had piqued enough interest that the fae in the room were looking to you for the answer as to why Rhysand requested this meeting. You knew why but refused to acknowledge it. “And what exactly is the reason behind this meeting?” Kolos was quick to pull the attention away from yourself and onto him. “He wants to see how everyone is doing after the war and talk over next moves.” you watched as Thesan weighed his options. “Very well, the same rules apply as last time.”
The date of the meeting had been set for three months after the letter had been read, as it was to ensure each court would be able to attend despite their excuses. You had spent the morning getting ready trying to fight off the nerves of having to see your old family again when Kolos decided that he had enough of watching you fight the thoughts running loose in your head. Leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed he simply watched for a minute as you perfected your makeup. “You do know that if Azriel tries anything I will kick his ass.” startled you look through the mirror to meet his eyes. “You also do know that the last time there was a high lord meeting that he was able to get through the barriers? I mean you were there.” Kolos simply gave you a shrug and a sly smile before taking in your outfit. A beautiful dress adored your body, it was a soft blush orange color as if to mimic the color of the sunrise. The top of the dress was a v-neck that stopped just below the sternum with straps on the top that started on one side wrapped around your neck and connected to the other side as if to make an x on your chest. The sleeves see through and flowy while the bottom of your dress had two hip high slits on each side of your hips. The whole dress was stunning. 
Kolos knew that the dress you picked out was nothing out of your usual attire but after seeing you in night court clothes for so long it was nothing short of breathtaking to see you in dawn court attire, and it didn’t help that your dress was fit for a queen. As much as he would love to sit here and drink in your beauty for as long as you would let him, Thesan wouldn’t be pleased if you were last to the meeting that was being hosted in his court mostly for the reason of your old personal matters. So without another word said he ushered you to the door and from there you winnowed to the court palace. 
Ryhsand was fashionably late as always but of course not without letting his shadowsinger and general making sure it was safe first. You watched from afar as he appeared from thin air and assessed that it was safe for his high lord and lady. Soon after the inner circle appeared before your very eyes. You watched as they took their seats across from where you were sat at the side of Kolos. Thesan was in the middle and to the right of him was his captain and to his right was Kolos and at his side was you. It was a safe bet to make that they were surprised to see you on the side of warriors and not the side where the other important court members sat. 
You felt as if Azriel tried to catch your eyes but you refused to give him that satisfaction so instead you focused on watching all those in the room except the night court. “I forgot to tell you that you look stunning by the way.” Kolos had leaned over to whisper into your ear and intern place himself just mere inches from your face. “I see what you’re playing at but thank you.” you whispered back as you felt Azriel stare weigh on your body. “I’m not playing at anything, I simply forgot to compliment you earlier and thought I should do it before the chaos ensues.” 
From the moment Azriel arrived his eyes couldn’t leave your body. They assessed you from head to toe to make sure you were ok before taking in your outfit. The night court attire looked good on you but he hates to admit the dawn court was devastatingly beautiful. He took in every part of your exposed skin and wished he could keep the eyes of every male and female off of you so that nobody got the idea of approaching you. 
Azriel knew that you were avoiding making eye contact with him and anyone else from the inner circle and he would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt but he also knew he was to blame. But nine months had passed since he seen you last and he wanted nothing more than to sit down and be able to explain everything, to beg for your forgiveness and make the mating bond work. In those first six months Azriel sent letter after letter along with Rhysand pleading for you to come back and just talk to him but eventually he realized you wouldn’t so he asked Rhysand to call this meeting in hopes that he would get a moment alone with you to tell you everything he needed to say. 
What Azriel didn’t account for was for you to be seated directly next to the random man he saw when you had come back to the house of wind to collect your belongings. He also didn’t account for the said random man to put his face so close to yours that if you moved you would be kissing. Azriel watched as the man whispered something in your ear and you turned to face him with a light blush now coloring your cheeks and soft smile gracing your features and before he knew it he was in between the two of you.
“Don’t ever get that close to my mate again.” Azriels words were thinly veiled with a promise of a threat. “Who is to say that she is your mate shadowsinger? As far as I knew you were with the middle Archeron sister. What was her name again? Ella? No…it’s Elain right?” Kolos knew that he was dancing on the edge of a fine line when it came to upsetting Azriel but he also knew that he was a warrior in his own right and could also handle his own if it came down to a fight. 
It was as if you had been watching everything happen in slow motion. From Kolos complimenting you to Azriel appearing right before you and now them bickering. Snapping out from the haze you were in you grabbed Azriels arm marched him back over to the night court and demanded that Rhysand winnow you to the river house.  
“What the hell were you thinking?” you yelled at your so-called mate. Without another thought you stalked up to Azriel and started pushing an accusing finger into his chest. “What made you think you had the right to do that! In front of the other courts also? Are you out of your mind?” Azriel had nothing to say, he had never seen you this mad, not even when you were yelling at him about Elain. He could see the redness creep up your neck and slowly take over your face, he watched as the rage built behind your eyes. Backing away from him you turn to look at the rest of the group and spot Elain sitting in the corner holding nyx. The person who started this all. You leveled her a glare before turning your attention back to the man who decided to play hero when it wasn’t necessary. 
“Do you really think I needed you to come to my rescue like some damsel in distress? I know that this might be new news to you but I am no such thing and have never needed your rescuing, especially not now. That man you decided to threaten was Kolos, my childhood best friend for your information since you seem to think he's some sort of threat to my life. He will never be someone I need saved from. You on the other hand, well the same can’t be said for you.”  
“I know you don’t need me to save you but y/n, that man could have kissed you if he had leaned forward. Please try to see that from my point of view. He may be a childhood friend of yours but you are my mate and I can’t just allow another male around you like that.” If you weren’t mad before then now you were livid. How dare he talk about someone being close enough to kiss you when the whole inner circle knew that he and Elain were doing much worse. “Let's get one thing clear, Azriel, I may be your mate but I do not want this bond. I refuse to let myself fall into a relationship where I am only wanted because the bond makes you want me. So if I want another male to kiss me then that is my decision only, you will have no input.” Once again you were face to face with Azirel, anger radiating from your very body. “You want me to look at that situation from your point of view? Ok Azriel, then let's look at you and Elain from my point of view shall we? How about all those times when she purposefully pushed herself into you or the times when she would need “extra” help with something as simple as stretching or when you two would sit and whisper to each other at family dinners. You also could have kissed her if you happened to move any closer. Plus let's not act like you two are innocent, everyone here knows what you two did behind closed doors. Oh and one last thing Azirel you do not allow who gets to be around me. You never have and you never will.”  
Through the mating bond Azriel could feel your resentment not only towards him but also the situation and it was the first time the spy master could truly say he was feeling panicked. Azriel knew he had made a grave mistake but he also knew that he would have never even looked in Elains direction if he knew about the mating bond. If only you could see that he would spend the rest of his life apologizing for the pain he caused you if you would let him close enough to do so. He just had to get you to understand how sorry he was. 
Rhysand could see that the situation was escalating on your part and that Azriel needed a minute to think of how to approach you so he tried to step in and help. “Y/n I know that you are upset with Azriel, but I think you need to step back from the situation and take a moment to calm down.” Rhysand may be a high lord but the pure hostility coming from you could rival his own power and deep down he knew he made a mistake interjecting. 
“I need to calm down Rhysand? That's hilarious coming from you, I mean I do remember you being willing to kill Tamlin with your own bare hands for what he did to feyre. But I need to calm down? Alright.” Turning back around to deal with Azriel you found him on his knees before you. “Y/n I know that I fucked up. I know that I should have realized sooner that you had feelings for me because that is my job as spymaster to be aware of the slightest things and I am sorry that I failed to see that, but you have to understand, if I had known about the bond I would have never even looked in Elains direction. I know I can’t control who's around you but you have to understand I just want to keep you safe. And I know that Elain and I aren’t innocent but I will spend the rest of eternity making it up to you, you just have to let me.”
For a second all you could do is stare down at Azriel and feel his sorrow through the bond. And for a second you wanted to forgive him but deep down you knew that this moment would be something you could never let go, never get past. You knew that Azirel could spend the next thousand years apologizing but some part of you would never be able to fully trust him. And the realization broke your heart but you knew you also owed it to yourself to never be treated this way no matter the circumstance. A heartbeat later you knew the choice you had to make. 
“Azriel, get up.” He had never heard your voice so dejected before and he knew something was wrong. “ I do not care that you were with Elain. Did it make me happy? No. but you were also with her before I knew about the bond so I guess it doesn’t matter but what does matter is that up until that point I had spent hundreds of years showing you my love with no acknowledgement ever but suddenly this “wholesome” human girl appeared ,who was afraid of fae mind you, and you were infatuated with her as if she hung the moon and the stars. What I do care about is that if it weren’t for the bond we share you would have never considered picking me instead of her, would have never looked my way. I mean hell you forgot me on the battlefield because Elain needed you.” 
The inner circle watched as you took a frustrated breath in while trying to collect your emotions and they held their breaths also while waiting for you to say something else. “I have wanted a mate for as long as I knew about their existence and as much as I want to have this with you Azriel I can’t. There will always be a piece of me that can’t let this go. You could spend forever apologizing but I will never be able to fully accept it, and neither of us deserve that. I deserve to never be anything but the only choice and you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t have an ounce of resentment in their heart towards you. So no, I can’t do this.” 
“Why can’t you see that I am picking you! I want you! I want this bond, I want this relationship!  If this is what you want and it's what I want, why can’t we make this work? I would rather have you and you be mad at me for the pain I’ve caused you then to not have you at all. I will grovel at your feet until you see that I want this, if that's what I have to. I will do anything. Please…please just let's at least try.” Azirel had never felt so many conflicting emotions at once. Anger, heartbreak, nerves. You name it he's experiencing it waiting for your response. 
“I’m…. I am so sorry Azriel. I can’t. At least not right now. I need time to process and to heal. I need time away from you and this and the whole situation. I need to find the version of me that is not the one who would do anything for an ounce of your attention. I am not saying no for forever but for now I am and for however long else I need. I won’t do anything to the bond but please don’t send me your emotions. I need to sort mine out without trying to figure out yours also. I do not know how long it will take but maybe someday in the future we can try again.” 
With the permission from Thesan, Kolos winnowed to the river house to make sure you were ok and to bring you back from the night court. What he wasn’t expecting to find was Azriel on his knees before pleading for your forgiveness. He watched from afar as you explained why the mating bond couldn’t be. He disregarded Azriels form as you turned away from him and walked towards himself. Kolos wasn’t sure how you knew he was there considering you never once looked away from Azriel until you walked away but without any words needed he took your hand and winnowed away back to the dawn court to begin your healing.
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