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desire-mona · 8 days

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siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

#desire mona #YAYYYYYYYY TODD AUTISM POST #do yall want a seperate autistic anderperry hc post cuz i can do that #genderqueer todd i love you so much #dead poets society #todd anderson #anderperry #the todd spectrum #actually autistic #banger

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rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me · 10 months

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i love to imagine the boys with a friend who’s parents own a ranch, or just being on a ranch. it feels like it’d be adorable chaos.

Dally is afraid of horses. he can’t stand them BUT cause he always wants to seem all tough and cool and whatever he always helps feed the cattle (which happens to be at the top of a field and you can only take the horses there. over time he warms up to the horse he normally takes and after a while you can see him just riding it around the ranch for fun. he’s still afraid of all other horses though

Darry would do anything that needs strength of course, like carrying feed bags n stuff. he’d be great help. he’d also probably make snacks for everyone at least 4 times a week. darry just loves to bake ok? leave him be.

Two-Bit is probably my favourite. he doesn’t mind horses and will go out to the stables every once in a while, he likes to brush them and braid their manes. his favourite are the dogs though, im imagining you have maybe 3 dogs? something like a collie, working dogs yk? either way you can find two running around with them, then lying in the grass while they attack him with hugs n stuff. UGH I CANT TWO IS SO ADORABLE.

you won’t see soda during a day at the ranch. the first day he was there he claimed a horse and every time he’s there now him and this horse spend the day together. he takes it out on a walk or whatever it’s called, brushes it and feeds it a few sugar lumps. at the end of the day don’t be surprised to find them in some field asleep, both of them, soda probably uses the horse as a pillow.

Ponyboy isn’t a big fan of being out on the ranch all day but he won’t mind it so much if there’s a big tree somewhere. he’ll sit under it and read a book or he’ll paint the view. he enjoys that more than the being out doing work or being out on the horses. though he might pop into the stables to draw some of the horses, maybe to a field to draw the cows too.

Steve spends the day on the tractor or something. need the grass cut? steve’s on it! need a field ploughed? steve does that too. Need to bring some feed up to the cattle really far away? you guessed it, steve! he just loves driving, but i do think he’d spend some time with two and the dogs, as well as some time with the cattle. i feel like if it was the time of year where there’s some calves on the ranch he’d be out there, and he’s really gentle with them too which shocks most people since he’s so energetic.

and johnny,, i’m sorry i can never think of anything for johnny i just don’t really like him 😭 but he and pony would be similar, he’d sit under a tree and watch everyone, or maybe he’d be trying to figure out a book. i think that if you asked for a hand with anything he’d be on the job though. maybe he’d make y’all some lemonade if it’s a hot summer day, you never know.

i have a lot of thoughts and i just love them.

If there’s one thing I’m passionate about, it’s cowboys and ranching. Take a seat, get a drink. This is gonna take a while

Dally’s problem with the horses is that his cool, tough guy act doesn’t work with them. They don’t care who he thinks he is, they’re just horses and they act how they wanna act. This man makes friends with one horse, totally horse girl style. It’s gonna be that one trouble horse that nobody else could bond with. Dal gets to where he can feed that horse sugar cubes out of his hand and the horse chews on his sleeves. Anyone else gets close to that horse? They’re gonna get kicked to kingdom come. But not Dal. He likes the cows. Will not offer to help milk if that needs to be done, but is willing to feed and likes to pat their heads, right between their ears

I just wanna say, I regularly carry 50lb bags of chicken feed by myself and those suckers are awkward to carry. If you lug feed, you’re strong. Also. DARRY IN A COWBOY HAT. DARRY IN A COWBOY HAT. He’s the most helpful around the ranch, honestly. Does most of the cooking. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He’s up with the sun and likes to stand on the porch with a cup of coffee and watch the cattle move around the fields. Listen, that man could bake for me any day. I’d buy him anything he wanted if it meant a chocolate cake waiting for me at the end of the day-

Two-Bit is my favorite and you’re literally so right. He’s into the horses, but he hates sitting in the saddle all day long. He’ll do tack though! Loves to saddle them up and kiss their noses as he slips the bridles over their faces. I freaking love farm dogs. He’d go nuts over a heterochromatic-eyed collie or one of those big mastiffs. Especially one of those cattle dogs. Aussie cattle dog? They’d be besties. They’d roll around in the grass all day and trail after him when he comes out to work during the day. He’s a big fan of the cows too, especially the little ones. The thought of him carrying around newborn calves is swimming around in my brain-

Sodapop does nothing but horses all day long. I don’t know if you know it, but that picture of the guy asleep with a cow and the cow has its head on the boy’s chest? That’s Soda and his horse. They’re inseparable and they do some crazy things. Sodapop dotes on that horse like it’s his baby. He leaves early to take the horse out, comes in late cause he was finishing with brushing out his horse. When he talks, it’s about the horses. He’s a horse girl and that’s it, y’know? He’s living his best life on a ranch! Maybe not as into the cows, but when he’s not with the horses, he’s hanging around Steve

Ponyboy doesn’t like the cows, doesn’t like the horses. Two’s got the dogs, so there’s not a lot left for Ponyboy. Yeah!! He sits under a tree, perches on a fence and watches the ranch. He reads most of the time, hiding in the shade and from whatever work someone’s gonna make him do. He makes a few pictures, Soda with his horse, Two-Bit under the squirming dogs, Steve on the tractor. They find themselves pinned up to the fridge for everyone to admire. He’s got a real touch for the horses though? He’s good at calming them? But he just doesn’t like them too much-

The ranch is the perfect place for Steve because the ranch allows for endless tinkering and fooling around with machinery. Boyo loves the tractor. He comes in to mealtimes, smeared in grease and grime. You’re constantly having to remind him to wash up before he takes a seat at the table. He likes the dogs! Probably befriends one of them and brags to Two-Bit that the dog likes him better. And, ugh, yes. Him and the calves. He’s really good at bottle feeding the ones who need to be. He’s got callouses, but he’s got the most gentle touch and honestly I want to kiss him so badly it hurts.

Johnny likes the horses, but most of the time, he’d rather hang out under a tree with Ponyboy and listen to the youngest Curtis read a book. He’ll do horse tack I think, but he’d rather watch them. Like Dallas, he’s a little afraid of the big animals, but won’t admit it. He likes the little dogs and the little calves and foals and stuff. Doesn’t like doing cattle runs. Will help though! Likes to help around the house and with the chores. I can totally see him sitting on the porch, watching a sunset and just letting it soak into his bones. There’s something about country sunsets, dude. Defo the lemonade maker though, defo on the lemonade.

#dillo’s replies #some us watch the sunset too

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sempiternities · 2 months

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march

I don't lie anymore, but I change. I am unreliable. I still can't consolidate my identity. I can’t just be one thing. I’ve grown, and become better, and yet i catch glimpses of myself in the rear view mirror, and miss it. The mess, the chaos, the gravity. And i like the peace I have built. I do. And it has to be better for me. But, it always feels slightly hollow. Like I'm pretending. that i'm naive. that it's all just another game, that wastes away the days. I don't really know, anymore.

Sometimes, I am just a child. Sometimes im a monster. Well, never in action, but sometimes in thought. Not recently though, not for awhile. But I can't say its not there. And I have been insane. Strangely, i find myself missing it more and more, lately. Because at least then, i seemed to be driven by a mission, or goal, despite its lack of grounding in reality.

I’ve been seeking out me in other things. Looking for the things that stop me in my tracks, and i can point to it and say, “look, do you see me?” I am not this body, or this face. I am the colors of the pictures i paint, and the songs that sing and vibrate through my body. I find myself in the insane. Sometimes, in the tragic. I find myself in the idea of love. But not love itself. or, maybe i do. I just cant feel it, right now.

I am the songs of the 60s. The songs that sound like sunshine and white walls bathed in blood. Changing times. Youth destroyed by false idols. worshiping those who give you love when you need it. I see myself in the yellow patterned wallpapers, and shabby carpets that smell of lives lived. I am free and all encompassing love, of no boundaries. Body and soul. But also the sinister darkness that emerges in the shadow of the lack of it. I am that starved child, who just wishes to be held. A child that sits in the solace of parents that don’t say what they really think. a child that grows up believing everyone is a puzzle. and puzzles always need to be cracked.

Sometimes you hear something for the first time, and wonder how it has existed along side you all this time, only now discovering it. I heard a song last night, mama, that made me turn, and twist my head. my memories are aloof, and don’t tend to stick around. They need to be inspired, or called forth, to be seen. Im looking out a window, from another time. I remember the parallels of my thoughts. I remember considering when future me would look back through my eyes, of these moments. Often, i remember the thoughts more clearly than the memories themselves. Everything painted in the color of emotion.

But all i have is who i am. Right? Isn't that how this works? We cant separate ourselves. Maybe we can. Maybe I will try to do that. To write of myself without myself. Maybe i can be the backdrop, or the stage on which stories play out.

Why can i only hear planes when the sun is out? Why do they sound like summer?

And sometimes i realize i don't really have anyone else to talk to. No one that i can really be honest with. I wonder how many others feel the same. But you can't just open up with anyone. you need certain people. i must just need to keep waiting. and working. i guess. because i can't do anything as casual as find what i need out in the wild. or maybe i can. but i don't want to play in the desperation of seeking. i don't want to waste my time trying to find someone to keep my bed warm, because it won't be enough. i don't think i can let anyone else in, except one person. and maybe the people that read what i write. But even then, i avoid writing about the ugly things. Because still, i do not want to burden you with the darkness from which i come. I won't tell you so you won't have to take it in, and ingest it, and face the truth. people are happier when they think you're happy. but when you aren't, they usually don't care enough anyway. it depends where you meet them, though. there are those solid, and made of love. they are just unfortunately, seemingly an endangered species.

i think we do everything for the exceptional moments. those things that only happen 1% of the time, or maybe even only once. Our lives tend to be shaped around these moments, defined by their before, and after. that's just what i've come to believe, because i've seen it. i think this world is tied down to numbers, statistics, and percentages. i think things fall into three categories, while simultaneously falling into all. it goes like this: 50/50, 80/20, 99/1. the first category, are the doers, and the do-not’ers. out of the ones that do, there will always be a top 20% of the highest achievers. and then, even deeper, we will find the one, who’s aptitude is only rivaled by all others, their capacity exponentially larger. But i don't intend this in a broad meaning. i think these talents are micro systems of ourselves. even a genius lacks in other areas - but perhaps that also means that there must be one person in the top 1% who is yet the top 1% of that group, and perhaps it is their knowledge that rivals that of the entire world. maybe simply, that one is god. maybe that is how our ultimate hierarchy is structured. and though i have come to believe in the numbers, i too believe that other realities must be categorically different. our system is a simple example of a fundamental truth of a subjective reality. it is my experienced truth, but other realities, by the nature of infinities, must be structured in a variety of ways (well, really an infinite amount of ways). perhaps even within this shared reality, others do not experience life in the same code that i do, the same number patterns. but then again, it can be parsed into the numbers, now only for personality traits, upbringing, and all the other factors which make us who we are. but maybe my gods are different than yours, to which i argue there must be reason in. statistically, we do not all agree in our beliefs. maybe my views are niche due to the mathematical statistical probability of it arising from a specific upbringing. perhaps there are other recipes which arrive at the same result. different fractions of ingredients to make us who we are. and you know what i mean, when you meet someone from another life who shares your same soul. but you might also not yet know, because maybe you are still in the before part of your life. maybe your match has not yet been made. you would know it if it has.

#mine #sempiternities #philosophy #writing #thoughts #poetry #prose

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d43vilish · 10 months

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having a narcissistic mother is so fucking draining; especially because im not her biological child, i came from my fathers first marriage.

my mother claims i taught my younger brother (who's 5) to lie, meanwhile i have never told my brother to lie in front of our parents; she tells me i do not spend any time whatsoever with my brother and that i never contribute to his knowledge (for example, by her logic, i am "extremely busy this summer" because i have to babysit my brother, "as the older sister you have responsibilities and just as i taught you how to write and read when you were younger and i worked my ass of for you- and i still do; you must spend all of your free time with your brother" -- her words exactly) when i was the one that taught him to walk, taught him his first words and im still the only one that bothers to teach him to write and do basic calculus, because i spend time with him everyday, when mom and dad are gone (which is usually half of the day). anything and everything she buys is for my brother only (including food most of the time) and if anyone else in the house apart from her or my brother dares to touch whatever shes bought "for him" gets yelled at for at least 3 hours straight. but when i get something for myself and i actually want to keep it to myself, my mother calls me "selfish" and tells me "i do not care about anyone else whatsoever, meaning i have no respect for her". i also have chores to do in the house, and im not complaining about it, i consider being a 16 year old comes with responsibilities, what makes me fucking furious is that she treats these responsibilities like this household is some sort of palace of hers and everyone is her slave because theyre "dumber" (they think different and have feelings, opinions). im supposed to do what she has to do as a mother and when i fulfill all of her dumb stupid tasks its still me the one that gets belittled and scolded and treated like shit. apparently i have to earn talking to my friends (shes considering taking my phone away for the entire summer, my pc as well; because "you dont have time for fun this summer"); i have to earn eating what i want (i have a strict list of things i have to eat everyday- and side note, she cooks my brother something every morning that she spends home and she never bothers to make a plate for me as well, its only her and her beloved fucking toddler); and i also have to earn time for myself apparently ? like just sitting in my room and having some peace because i should instead be babysitting my brother (my mother isnt always a mother, only when she feels like it). i depend entirely on how she feels in a day, if she is upset i have to be upset to or else im mocking her, if she is sad i have to be sad as well because otherwise "im having fun when i shouldn't" and if shes happy i cant have a bad day or feel remotely close to down because that means im disrespectful of her and "everything shes done for me".

if anything happens in the house, its my fault- HER plants arent watered? my fault. her bedroom is full of dust? my fault for not cleaning it up. the bathroom is SLIGHTLY dirty? obviously im a lazy piece of shit and i sit around doing nothing all day.

no birthday or celebration day passes without me getting slapped, yelled at or made fun of by her. its like a routine at this point. im so sick and fucking tired of being despised by "my mother" because of showing human emotion and needs after 12 YEARS of emotional and verbal abuse. i cant wait to turn 18 and leave this fucking house, help my dad divorce her and live happily either with me or on his own, and move in with my boyfriend. i cant wait to turn 18 and never see her ever again. i hope one day karma gets back at her and i hope ill be there laughing in her face.

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turnerchic · 2 years

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YOU'RE MINE

alex turner x reader

summary : you and Alex are roommates (teens 17-18) for the summer, and you both want each other more than you thought.

AN - this was longggg delayed i just never found time to finish it so sorry for the inactivity

warning : SMUT / ALCOHOL

NOT PROOF READ

You and Alex were roommates well for the summer both your parents were out of the city leaving you and Alex together, Alone

you were sat on the couch under a blanket watching a movie, it was late and the movie was ending

"Alex". no answer? "Al-" you turn your head and he's asleep

you flick his head "wow what a great movie huh"

"we've watched this movie twice since you got here"

"excuse me i thought you loved this movie"

"past tense, you're so dramatic"

"one i'm not dramatic and past tense only because you want to forget your trauma this movie gave you"

"it wasn't trauma we were only dating a few months"

"and you watched which movie to get over it while you cried to me on the phone"

"this one, and so what i thought it were real"

"not as real as your romantic movie adoration you try cover up then"

you got up from the couch walking to the fridge getting a drink

"how are you anyway, Alex"

"what you mean?"

"you know..since the breakup"

"im fine it were 3 months ago..old news, but i do admit...my right hand is getting pretty boring"

he got up, walking over to where you were looking down at you

"i definitely didn't need to know that"

"but now you do know so..i mean it's just us" he said slowly while he took the glass out of your hand and placed it on the counter next to you

"i should of left you asleep"

walking past him

"and what's the fun in that?"

"not having this conversation!"

you shut your door lying down on your bed, all you could think about was Alex i mean telling myself i have 0 feelings is doing not me one bit of justice

"my right hand is getting pretty boring"

"i could use something more exciting then.."

"like what"

"my mouth"

that wouldn't happen, opening your eyes you had been rubbing your clit under the covers shaking the thoughts out of your head, removing your hands from the ache between your legs and going to sleep

meanwhile Alex was in his bedroom next door stroking himself.

---------------------------------------------------------

The day of the party came so quickly (random girl name) was throwing a houseparty and you and Alex were invited (rgn) always did a party before summer, during summer and before summer ended, and it was summer right now which meant more people.

Alex had wandered off getting shitfaced like always, you were drunk quite a lot but you didn't want to be blackout drunk tonight so you didn't follow in Alex's foot steps tonight

"you're so inlove y/n Gosh" y/f/n said beside you laughing

"no i am not"

but you was and again denying your feelings for Alex wasn't even convincing anyone around you either

you wanted Alex, you want him

"yeah sure well i know you're lying butttt you look cute together honestly y/n..id go for it" she said eyeing Alex then winking at you

"but right now i'd go help him" walking off

turning your head Alex was stumbling side to side, rushing over to the scene "Alex"

"oh y/n..you know wha-"

"how much have you had to drink Alex?"

he didn't reply just laughed and collapsed his weight ontop of you

you guided him through the party and upstairs earning a few looks of confusion, jealousy and proudness

but honestly you just needed to help him

you reached the bedroom and put Alex on the bed he laid in the middle of the mattress

"okay i'm gonna sober you up and we're leaving"

"eh? why y/n? i'm having fun"

"Alex you cant even walk by yourself" sitting next to him body on the bed

"good thing i have you here then y/n" sounding more sober eyeing you up and down

"yeah." - "i'm gonna get you some water and something to eat i'll be back don't. do anything stupid" getting up and leaving

you rushed downstairs not wanting to take more time than necessary and got Alex a glass of water and some sweets

walking back up the stairs and upon opening the door nothing could of prepared you for the sight you were about to see

Alex was spread in the middle of the bed, completely naked, stroking himself head with his thrown back

you almost dropped the glass what do you do in this situation..interrupt him?

but god he looked hot

you walked over to the dresser placing the glass down as quiet as possible turning around getting ready to leave when you heard him moan

your name ?

he repeated your name like a prayer opening his eyes to you watching him

"y/n.."

"i have you a glass of water Alex, some snacks"

"come here please"

you crawled over to be sat next to him trying to keep your eyes from wandering

he used his free hand to stroke some of your hair behind your ear and cup your chin and kiss you

it was an eager kiss a kiss that would be forgotten in the morning this whole thing will be forgotten in the morning

he ran the hand down from your chin to your neck to your breasts squeezing them

"you're so hot y/n-"

"Alex stop" using all you had to pull your lips off his you didn't want to but it was for all the right reasons

"you're drunk Alex-"

"we're both drunk Y/n come on i want you"

"but i'm not as drunk as you i can't take advantage of that, so come on, let's just go home and go to bed, i'll let you get..dressed and i'll be in the hall"

getting up and allowing him to get changed back into his clothes you wanted him but you couldn't admit that, kissing him felt like a one shot opportunity at heaven that you have probably missed for doing the right thing

he shortly came out after and you both walked downstairs saying goodbyes to your friends and thank yous for the party

the drive home wasn't long you could hear Alex mumbling in the back as you parked the car

you said good nights to Alex and shortly went to your own bedroom next door

did he really want you?

you did the right thing though you stopped the situation or any regrets from happening, what were you going to say tomorrow will you even speak tomorrow

he turned you on and made you hot just from the kiss and the way he was with his words

he knew how to have and get his way and he knew he had that power

you traced your hand down to the hem of your panties and began to playing and toying with yourself your mind nowhere but Alex

all you could think about was Alex imaging it was his hand rubbing your clit

your unattended hand went to your breast and began squeezing at it

again thinking of Alex

"Oh Alex" you moaned to yourself tossing your head to the side

---------------------------------------------------------

The next morning you woke up feeling probably no where as bad as Alex probably was

you made your way downstairs to the kitchen

"hey. y/n"

"Hey Alex" catching you off guard

"you feeling okay?"

"yeah, you"

"yeah i'm okay"

did u bring it up?

"what's wrong?" he chuckled

"nothing it's fine"

"you're tense" and his hands came up to your shoulders from behind catching you off guard

"was i bad last night"

you didn't answer

"go on tell me what i did"

"honestly it's no big deal Alex"

"oh i think it is"

"you remember?"

"yeah but i wanna hear you say it"

"you were drunk honestly i'm not bothered by it"

"you're not bothered about it at all?"

you shook your head

"then why were you moaning my name last night?, i've gotta be honest i fantasise about you too"

what the fuck

"do i make you nervous? you want me to touch you?"

"Alex i-"

he stared down at you

"your bedroom, i'll be there in 5"

you went immediately to your bedroom desperate for time to hurry up and Alex came shortly after

"this where you played with yourself thinking of me?"

he crawled over your body that was propped up on your elbows

"can i?"

you nodded

"no, honestly. words"

"yes, you can Alex"

and with the consent he wanted her kissed you with passion

it was better than last night only because you knew he wanted you and that you could actually have him

one of his hands came down to your shorts tugging them downs and he lightly ran his fingertips over your clothed core

"Alex please"

"is this how you did it or..do it"

he slipped his hand under the panties and didn't waste any time on starting to play with your clit

you grabbed at his bicep that was next to your head where his hand was holding himself up above you

he inserted one of his fingers inside you causing you jolt your hips up for more, wanting him deeper

"what does your y/n want eh?, another finger?"

you nodded like your life depended on it

he added another finger inside you, immediately bucking your hips up as he began to move his fingers in and out of your dripping heat

"faster Alex please"

all he did was cock his head to the side, smirk and make your wish come true

he quickly fastened the pace of his fingers and the intensity was overwhelming

his eyes never left your face as he watched you with your mouth hung open

"Alex im gonna cum don't stop" you babbled at this point

your whole body wasn't in your control anymore the upper half of your body was lifted off the bed as your legs began to twitch as his fingers still moved inside of you

"that's it.." he whispered

after he removed his fingers from you and you came down

he watched you in adoration stoking some of your hair behind your ear

"you're a right beauty.."

"Alex i-"

"what is it?"

"fuck me"

"condoms?"

"top draw..." you whispered you didn't really believe it was happening with him right now

watching his every move with fast reactions

you were spread out for him and he lined himself up with your entrance slowly pushing inside of you

he went at a slow pace at first until you mouthed 'faster' at him that was his cue to go

he didn't leave any time he quickly began slamming into you harder and faster shocking you

your eyes brimming with tears as they ran down your face

it was all shocking he had shrunk you to such a position of dumbness

he fucked you senseless the only thing you could think of right now was his cock and the knot feeling inside of your stomach

all you wanted was to cum around him and him to cum inside you but maybe another time..

"you know ive always wanted this y/n, you feel so good God.." he panted

all you could do was stare back at him and nod

making up sentences and words wasn't something you could do at all

and then the feeling you felt mere moments before came back the knot in your stomach built up and you were bound to spill over

"go on y/n.. cum"

you cried and like before you shook but this time more intense, it was more than this fingers could've done to you definitely

and it lasted longer

"god y/n" he collapsed ontop of you panting and sweaty

you laid limp and very much pleased under him wanting to stay like this forever

"you're an image" he laughed pulling out of you and discarding the condom

he crawled back over to your side and kissed you

"you know..now it's over i might aswell tell you that i've liked you awhile"

"i didn't think you liked me that way Alex"

"i did and do never told you because you know we lived together if you rejected me..would be pretty awkward"

"God you're a joke Alex" laughing at him

"so y/n can i take you on a date?"

"there's no point Alex i want to be with you anyway"

"then..does (city) have a new dream team"

"we always were a dream team"

"And.. always will be"

he kissed you again longer this time,

"ill go run you a bath beautiful" he winked

---------------------------------------------------------

NOT PROOFREAD

#alex turner fanfic #alexturner #arcticmonkeys #alex turner smut #alex turner fluff #alex turner x reader #alex turner

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

Text

Two is better than one

Pairing: Lifeguard!Mark Lee x female!reader

Genre: SMUT, FLUFF

WC: 2,857k

Warnings: unprotected sex, couch sex, quickie, swearing, mentions of making out, this drabble is very light smut and fluffy HEHE

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I have time. Please let me be, I just want to write something fluffy for Mark to take away all my stress. For Neo Smut Collective’s Sunny Side.

———

There’s this one guy in school that your friends have been telling you to date during summer vacation because you’re the only single gal in your circle of friends. Of course that’s completely fine, but whenever your friends has double dates and they wanted you to come, you simply turn them down because you don’t want to be a burden during their date.

“And that’s why we’ve been telling you to date Mark, give him a chance, he’s a nice dude. Not to mention very good looking,” Your friend whines while she scans the clothes on the rack.

“I know what he looks like and I know that he’s nice,” you giggle at what your friend said, “but we don’t know if he wants to date. What if he’s perfectly fine with being single too? Seriously you guys, you’re wasting your time. I’m fine with being single,”

“Oh honey you can’t fool us. Admit it, you don’t want to date Mark because you want him to earn it, and not because we set you up with him” she smirked.

If you’re being honest, what she said was partly true. Partly. It’s true that yes, you wanted him to make the first move and actually like you first before you go on a date with him. And what you said earlier about being happy while you’re single is also true.

And the reason why you wanted him to like you first is because there’s no doubt that you will like him back. He’s Mark Lee. The guy is basically perfect and you knew already that falling for him is not going to be hard. He’s cool, funny, loud and you heard that he’s actually nice with everyone and not in a flirty way.

Given that you’re single and you’re used to do things alone, on a perfectly good day and nice weather, you decided to get some sun at the beach alone. With your juice on the side and a book on your hand, this day is going to be perfect you thought.

But while you were admiring the beach while siping on your drink, you saw a familiar figure sitting on the lifeguard chair which immediately made you remove your sunglasses so you could have a good look at him and to confirm your own judgement if you were right. And yes, you were right. It’s Mark Lee. Guarding the beach with no shirt on and just wearing his beach shorts... looking so hot and handsome with his shades on while smiling back to you.

Wait-

Just when you realized that he caught you looking at him, you feel so jumpy and nervous for no reason and you avoided him immediately. Going back to reading your book, just reading and not actually understanding a word. But when you saw him come down from that tall chair and saw him heading towards you, you suddenly got up and gathered your stuff with panic movements.

“Is she avoiding me?” Mark murmured to himself while walking towards you. “Wait! Look behind you-“ he shouted and tried warning you about the waiter carrying a tray of cold beverages. But too late because you already bumped on him and spilled different kinds of juices on your swimsuit.

“Don’t worry about it I’ll pay for it” he said to you while wrapping a towel around you and keeping you close to him. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up”

And just like that, without further discussions, you found yourself in Mark’s arms. Heading over their backdoor and you, entering his house for the first time. Everything happened so fast that you didn’t have time to refuse his offer of getting you cleaned up. He brought you straight to his cozy room, preparing the bathroom for you and telling you that if you need anything else just call him.

“Uhm... Mark?” You shout from the bathroom.

“Yeah? You need something?”

“My clothes are ruined and wet because of the juice-“

“Right, uhm... Gotcha! I-I’ll leave the clothes on the floor, okay” and off he goes to his closet to look for something that you could wear. Mark was all jumpy and nervous as he heads to the bathroom door and leave the clothes on the floor. This was all his fault, if he didn’t startled you by running towards you at the beach, you would’ve stayed in your comfort under the sun and the accident wouldn’t happen.

“I’ll pay for the damage and I’ll make sure to bring your clothes back immediately”

“No, don’t worry about it. Uhm... the restaurant, we own it. So don’t worry about it” he said nervously. Smiling so big in front of you. “So you know my name, huh? Why’d you ran off like that earlier?”

“Hmm. To be honest I got shy. And it’s so stupid, now I’m humiliated” you put your on your face and let out an awkward laugh, Mark did too but you notice that he can’t stop looking at you. That’s when you noticed that he has a pretty big head, beautiful eyes and sharp cheekbones. In other words, you’ve never appreciated his handsome features quite this close.

At the end of the day, Mark walked you home and you had a good talk with him. Taking it as a chance for apologizing to him for whenever you don’t show up during planned double dates. Turns out he never showed up too. Does that means he’s not interested with dating? Or with you in general?

A week after that unforgettable interaction with Mark, you found yourself looking at the neatly folded sweatpants and hoodie in front of you while thinking long and hard if you’re going to message Mark first and let him know that you’re going to his house to bring back the clothes... but it looks like you’re flirting with him already and you don’t like that... “fuck it” you murmured and head to their house just because you knew you’d have to return his clothes eventually. And just when you were a couple of blocks away, he came from behind and tickled you on your waist. Making you jolt and turn around with quick and sharp movements. He giggled and greeted you with a handsome smile, surprised that he even looked dashing with a shirt on.

“No lifeguard duty?” you asked, returning his big smiles with awkward ones.

“Just finished, that’s why you have no choice but to hang out with me” he said confidently like you two have been friends for a long time already.

Funny how just a week ago, you and your friend were debating whether you should give Mark a chance to take you out but you still refused because you wanted him to make the first move first. And now as you two hang out together in their house, watched the sunset by the beach with a couple of beers on the side, you can see that you’ve been missing quite a lot.

“So you’re saying that you’ve been waiting for me all this time?” he said out of nowhere while eating a pizza crust. You’re now in their kitchen, eating pizza and having more beers with him. Getting a little too friendlier than earlier.

“Not really waiting. I wasn’t expecting anything, but off topic...You’re cuter than I expected you to be” and just as the words came out from your mouth, you don’t know where the bravery came from. This must be the alcohol’s doing, you thought. You tried to avert your focus on other things like munching a few chips and finishing your beer in one down. Thinking of a better escape for this awkward situation that you started but before you come down from the kitchen counter, he confidently went in between your legs and came closer to you. So close that you can smell each other’s breath and smell the sweet flavor of the alcohol... but Mark wanted more than smelling you.

He wanted to taste your lips, and so he did.

Tongue swiping on your lips the moment his touched yours. Letting him dominate the kiss while he reaches for your arms and make you embrace him. He smiled and put the kiss to a halt.

“How’s that for my first move?” He smirked and placed another sweet kiss on your lips. And the next thing you know you and Mark are exchanging kisses nonstop until you reached their living and continue what you’re doing on their soft couch. Sitting comfortably on Mark’s lap, legs on both sides, while your hands are all over him.

“Take these off, let’s have some fun” he whispered while tugging your shorts. Completely aware that he’s brave and confident like this because of the alcohol push.

“Oh Mark Lee, you’ve been challenging me lately huh”

And it only takes a few seconds for you and Mark to get naked from waist down and go back to your previous position. Oh you wanted to feed your lust and look at his cock just for a few seconds but you need him already.

“Parents will be home soon, fuck-“ he informed you while you put his cock inside you slowly. Breathing heavily when you finally moved your hips slowly, then fast. You watch him furrow his brows, rest his arm on his head and watch you move with lidded eyes as you fuck him good. “Faster” he requested, grabbing your clothed boobs and kissing your neck that immediately put you both on edge.

With fast movements and sweet moans, soon Mark cant handle it anymore and grabbed you by the waist so fast that you didn’t even saw it coming, pulled out his cock from inside of you and pumped it while you kiss him during his orgasm. Not giving a fuck if his cum stains on their couch.

“I was planning to ask you on a date. Sorry this happened earlier than expected. I promise to try and stop myself from luring you to having sex with me. I promise” he apologized and looked at your swollen lips from kissing, tracing it gently and letting out a satisfied sigh as he tries so hard to not look down and look at your pussy.

“It’s fine with me Mark. But y-yeah. You’re right. We should do this the right way” you shyly admitted. Getting up from his lap and making yourself decent again. Why do you feel like you’re having great regrets?

After that night you and Mark did not see each other for a few weeks again. Well, mainly because you’re avoiding him and whenever you remember about the sex and how good it felt... it just feels wrong at the same time and you don’t know why you feel this way.

“Are you really not going to give Mark a chance?” your friend once again nags you about Mark. Maybe Mark kept what happened between you two and did not tell it to his friends.

“Uhm. I seriously don’t know” you answered weakly.

“Well, I hope you won’t get mad because we tricked you. He’s going to the park with us tonight”

But right before you get mad and whine about the situation, Mark and his friends appeared. And immediately forcing you two to stand beside each other.

The park was packed and busy with people wearing big smiles the whole night. You wanted to smile too and laugh loudly whenever Mark tries to make you laugh or even make a decent conversation but you’re afraid that your friends will get the wrong idea.

Good thing, Mark knew that you’re not comfortable right now especially that your friends are around. He also knew that what happened between you two completely ruined everything already, and he admits that he fucked up.

“Want to go somewhere else?”

He whispered beside you while your friends are riding the roller coaster and you and Mark are on bag duty. You wanted to say ‘yes’ of course, and you will use this time to apologize to him privately and explain what you’re really feeling.

Coming up with different excuses, you and Mark left the park and your friends separately and eventually meet him at the beach near their house. When you arrived at their house, surprisingly he set up mini picnic just for you, ordered pizza and made sure you two drink non-alcoholic beverages tonight to avoid what happened last week.

“This is not our first date. Not yet. But this is my way of apologizing for what happened. I’m sorry,”

“You did nothing wrong. I should be the one apologizing. It’s not right that I left you hanging just because my regrets got into me. I’m sorry”

After apologizing and talking about random stuff that comes out of your mouths, Mark finally had the guts to ask you something serious. Something that he has been thinking the moment his lips crashed on yours for the first time.

Firstly he admitted that he liked you. A lot. And that didn’t surprised you already because you found out with the way he kiss and hold you during the day you had sex. But what surprised you is that, you don’t feel the same way towards him even though he’s perfect.

“Honestly I was expecting myself to fall in love with you easily. But turns out you can’t really force your feelings” you said. Careful with your words so you won’t hurt him but you don’t have a choice.

“But do you want to give it a try? Give us a try?”

“I’ll think about it” you answered honestly. Because truth be told you don’t want to give him false hope.

And after a night full of truths and honesty, you and Mark remained close friends and promised each other that you will be honest with your feelings for him no matter what happens. As part of being friends, you visit Mark at the beach whenever he has lifeguard duties and wait until his shift is over to hang out or whenever it’s raining and his parents are away, you and Mark stay in their living room and watch Netflix while enjoying the weather together with his fluffy blanket covering your entire bodies.

Being single is not a problem to you, you are perfectly happy and contented with your self love and you believe that having a boyfriend will not make much of a difference in your life. And you also believe that Mark, a genuine and very lovable person, deserves someone who will shower him with love. You just can’t see yourself doing it with him.

But with almost a month of hanging out everyday, you grew fond of him that sometimes you unconsciously hug him and became unexpectedly sweet. Like that time at the beach, while watching the sun go down. You rested your chin at the top of his shoulder and decided to play with his black soft locks. Massaging his scalp while you admire him closely. Even Mark was shocked to the core when he realized that you are incredibly close. After that moment, you saw him as someone who can add up to your happiness. You’re now confident that Mark can double the happiness that you have in your heart now. Love is not easy. Loving someone is never a walk in the park. But being loved by someone like Mark, is not an opportunity that knocks on your door everyday.

Tonight is stargazing night and as usual he let you have his blanket, now your favorite blanket. It was a very tiring day for him and he accidentally fell asleep next to you. A thin mattress on the sand is not that comfortable but he will trade any comfortable bed in the world as long as you’re beside him while he rests. When he opened his eyes, the beach was blue and the sun was just about to come up. He noticed that you’re shivering, so he decided not to share with the blanket with you and give it to you completely instead.

“No, we can share. Come here” you murmured when you feel him move aside. So to keep him beside you, you wrapped your one arm around his waist and hugged him tightly. “This is better” you said, and in that very moment, even though the beach was still dark, you witness him blush and smile from ear to ear. Showing those sharp cheekbones and returning the tight hug.

“Mark,”

“Hm? Still cold?” he asked while keeping you warm using his hand, rubbing it on your shoulders.

“Not at all. But I decided to give us a try”

He let out a satisfied sigh and became instantly clingy and giggly, “Finally,”

And you were right. Mark made you happier than you could have ever imagine. But even though that he won your heart already, for Mark, he still thinks that you can leave him so easily. One mistake, one fuck up and he can ruin everything that he’s building right now. That’s why while making you happy everyday, he’s working on keeping you forever by showing you that he can love you even more each day. Showing you that two is better than one and you don’t have to experience love alone

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izukus-sugar-baby · 3 years

Text

Checked out!

WARNINGS: fluff-ish, eventually will be smut, mentions of getting sick twice

word count: 2k

Heres my first writing for tumblr! Hope you all like it!

Part Two, Part Three.

"Hey Miss!!" You peered down at the smaller voice, simultaneously feeling a book slip from your hand and onto the ground. The bookshelf was at least 5 rows high, and you had been standing as far as you needed to reach the top. You were dusting off and replacing the books on the shelf, which... hadn’t been so pleasant with children running around before their daily read. Regardless, you had a job to do. It wasn't gonna stop for a ton of kids. You had been rearranging the books in alphabetical order before the kid startled you. Thank god it didn’t fall on their head.

"Are you gonna read to us today? Or is Miss Maggie?" The kid didn't look over six years old, blue eyes and long brown hair with freckles littering her face in a wonderful way. She wore a small dress full of sunflowers with bright pink shoes on her feet. She had been here before... Although, her name wasn’t ringing a bell.

"I wanted to read one of those pigeon stories you read us last time!" You let out a sigh of relief that the book didn't smack the kid on top of her head prior to climbing down to the ground and leaning down be eye-level with her.

"Pigeon stories?" You've read dozens of books about dozens of creatures and characters. What on earth would relate to a.. pigeon? Leaning down a bit farther to snatch up the book you had dropped, she pushed another book into your arms. The title read The Pigeon Needs A Bath!

"This book is pretty thin, You sure you want me to read just this one book, sweetheart?" You stood up straight, handing the girl the book back before cocking your hip to the side and placing your hand onto it.

"Me and Emmie can go find some more!" She hurried off to find her.. friend? Knowing it had been a child, it could be a stuffed animal! But she sure did leave too quickly to ask any questions about it. You sighed, climbing back up to finish your organizing. Thank goodness I’m already close to being done. You thought to yourself, dusting top to bottom and moving onto the 4th row. Their reading wasn't for another.. what? 20 minutes? You had time to knock out another shelf. Time flew by as you finished the 4th row. It was already time to read.

"I have to stop by Goodwill and get some more books. I also gotta stop at the post office and some.. other errands? You got this reading?" The owner of the store, Maggie, looked over to make sure she had gotten your attention before naming off a few things that needed done in the shop before you closed up shop.

"Yeah! What time will you be back?" You climbed down the last step of the ladder, patting off the dust from the bookcase that had gotten on your apron. It was some cutesy hello kitty apron you wore so the dust wouldn't ruin your clothing but it really just made it look like it was some mini cafe. None the less, you wore it.

"I'll be back in time for that uh, Pro hero guy. I don't know- my wife wrote him in. Ask and she'll tell you!" You weren't too involved with all that hero bullshit, the whole who can save more lives?! You get the most money AND an award. The system in itself was ass and it wouldn't make a difference in your everyday life for one of those snobby people to stop by. You walked around the shelves, watching Maggie leave as you sat down on a small rounded couch. A small chime rang through the shop as it called the children over for their reading, a few already sitting and ready to hear you.

It wasn't a big library, it seemed like a corner store had gotten torn down and then completely renovated into a library for children. The second floor had been where the owner and her wife stayed. It was a cozy little place where about 8-12 kiddos would visit for a read. There were bookshelves in the walls for more book space and 5 separate shelves more towards the middle of the place. They held less books than the ones on the wall. Only two of the five reached over 3ft. Parents would come in just to rent a few books. But more often than not, the owner would go out hunting for new books for everyone to enjoy. Along with cute little toys and those foam floor mats to sit on. All of the children in the shop had sat right in front of you, including the girl from earlier who held 4 books in her hands. A few other kids held thin picture books in their hands as well, but only having 15 minutes to read to them, it might be hard to get around to all of them.

“Alright, Who's first?" You asked, smiling down at them. Every single child raised their hand, some even raising both so your attention was on them. Of course this wasn't going to be easy. You thought to yourself as you put a hand over your eyes, pointing to some random kid. He held a small book, standing up slowly and handing it to you.

"My mom reads me this sometimes.." Poor boy was only about 5, and seemed pretty shy. You gave him a reassuring smile before he went back to his seat. You began to read and in no time at all you finished reading the few books children selected. Thank god it was a Friday, Most children would be picked up right after the reading for afternoon preschool etc. But it seemed like no one wanted to leave. Was it that hero Maggie had mentioned? You sighed, hopping up and heading to the check out desk where you saw a few children wanting to check out their books you previously read to them. You leaned down over the desk to reach for the book, scanning it and doing so for each person. The store bell jingled, as if the creak of the door didn't give away someone walking in.

"Welcome to 'Children's Magical Bookshop,' You paid the person no mind as you spoke, handing the last child their book and letting your gaze fall upon the... very tall man in front of you. Noise filled the small shop, children running up to him screaming-

"Deku!" As loud as their little lungs could. He gave a flashy smile, leaning down to hug the children that ran straight for his legs. He laughed and lifted a few of them in his.. very strong arms. Was it hot in the bookshop? Was the AC fucked up? You force your eyes from the tall man.. Was he looking at you too? Your mind screamed at you to introduce yourself, Quickly walking towards a shelf to do something. Anything bust stand there and gawk at him.

"Are you Maggie?" There were hopping children behind him, playing with his gloves and such as you turned to him.

"No- I'm y/n. Are you that.. pro? She had been talking about.?" You huffed through your nose, turning to him. He extended a hand, nodding with a cheesy grin on his face as soon as you had taken his hand into yours. It wasn’t like you never saw him on the news, but you sure did skip the channel as soon as it was some bullshit hero chart over who had been number one. He was so much hotter in person..

"Yes! I'm sorry I'm a bit early, I finished patrol sooner than I thought! I hope I'm not interrupting anything? The woman on the phone said before six, I told her I was sure I could make it around five!" His eyes traveled to your lips for a moment, listening to you speak back to him.

“You’re fine, There’s plenty of time for you to hang out and sign all of their t-shirts and such. Make yourself at home big man. You can sit in the reading area,” The kids dragged him to where you were just moments ago.. But he couldn't get you to leave his mind. You were beautiful. He needed to make you his.

The poor hero stayed until about six o’clock to talk to you, since all of the kids finally left to go do their summer homework or whatever they had to do. Deku had been leaning over the counter for almost an extra hour to make some conversation with you, he just couldn’t help himself. You cant blame him either! You had this smile that he couldn’t resist. And quite frankly, he wasn’t used to this feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He fought some shit villain every day! What's a few butterflies? Especially as pretty as you. Why wouldn't he want to stick around?

“I really didn’t think it would be so chill this week! It feels like I've done nothing but catch up on papers!” Izuku scratched his neck with his index finger, shaking his head lightly. “I guess I really am doing a good job!- Of course other pros are doing their jobs as well!” He let out a relieved chuckle, looking at you with a big, sincere, smile on his face. “How has work here been? It must be so nice working with so many children!”

You feel your eyes involuntarily roll, shaking your head and leaning against the wall behind you. “It’s nice until some kid gets sick on themselves and their mother isn’t here to help. We have extra clothing in the back because it’s happened more than once.” You groaned as your eyes trailed to the door leading to lost n found, clothes, and other things. You had an unamused look on your face talking about it. He noticed and let his eyes follow yours until feeling your eyes rest upon him once more. Maybe texting would let you come around to him a bit more? Were you bored?

“Yikes- I’ve seen adults get sick after villains show up. But I probably should head back to my agency.” He looked out of the store window before right back to those beautiful e/c eyes of yours. “Do you have a number I can text? I would love to talk to you more y/n..!” He was already prepared for rejection. It was kinda weird to be hitting on you after dealing with kids wasn’t it? Maybe he should take it back. Was he coming off as some sleazy ass hero?

Your eyes widened in the slightest- Enough for him to notice. “Sure, Let me see your phone,” You stepped closer to the counter, seeing him fumble on the pouch of his belt before unlocking and giving you his phone. You went to his contacts, making yourself one of them and handing it right back to him. He had an even bigger, cheesier, grin on his face after he took it back.

“Thank you, y/n!” He bowed his head before quickly leaving out to his agency. Finally, you could go home as well. Not that he was a problem, but that man sure could talk. It was endearing. Maybe I can put enough of those stutters in mind tonight. You joked to yourself, grabbing your keys and walking out to lock up the small bookshop. There was no doubt that you were attracted to him. Every woman in America and Japan was attracted to him in some way.

You let out a small sigh, driving home and turning your radio up until hearing your phone ding. You glanced over at the screen to see an unknown number texting. Assuming it was Deku, you waited until you were home to answer him. By the time you had texted him back, he was quick to reply. You two made plans to hang out soon and have dinner together. You talked for hours until one of you had fallen asleep. He was ecstatic. You really enjoyed his company.

taglist: @tenyaiidasslut @hi-rubi @devilsbooksworld @flamingpastapotatoes @arleneeene @blacklotussai @akam4recs @prinvilmain

a/n: I fucking hate tumblr KWJCHDH ive had to re-write this more than once because they changed the layout if the save and post. Its not my best work and was mostly edited on here instead of Google docs. Learn to edit the first version first i guess 💀 The second part will be much better!

Please Reblog!!!!

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chocominnie · 3 years

Text

One Last Time 02 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01

⇢ Word Count :

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Your eyes shoot open, chest heaving heavily as you let out a blood curdling scream. Not this again. The same dream over and over again each night. It leaves you sleepless. The time on the clock on your nightstand reads 3:04 am. Just only four hours ago is when you fell asleep. But a full night’s sleep hasn’t happened for a year so why would it matter anyways.

Once you catch your breath you unplug your phone from the charger and read some of the notifications. From your window, the night-time critters sing their songs along with the persistant owl that’s somewhere around the apartment complex. You’d only noticed him, the owl, just a few months ago when your cat started meowing with his hoots.

A missed call from your uncle.

Immediately you unlock your phone and dial the number. Bringing your index finger to your mouth you gently nip on it waiting for it to answer, The rings are agonizing to you. If something has happened you only wish and pray it wasn’t as bad as you think. He’s the only parental figure left in your life.

‘‘ Princess! Hello I was just calling to speak to you earlier. But I realized you are five hours ahead of me and you had probably went to sleep.’‘

His soothing voice calms your emotions making you let out a tiny breath of air. Thank god.

‘’Hey Charlie.” You sigh. Looking towards your left, you spot Clara purring quietly next to you. You can’t help but to smile while bringing a hand over to rub her head with your thumb. She’s so small under the shining moonlight from your window.

Her white coat shines brightly amongst her, making you remember the first night you had brought her home. All she did was sleep, and it worried you because you had no prior expierence caring for anything, let alone a small animal. Clara only drank kitten milk and slept back then. Occasionally being awake enough to nip at your fingers whenever you pet or touched her.

Now she’s a bit bigger and walks around the apartment like she owns the place. Quite the little attitude she has, but its too damn cute for you to scold her whenever she does something wrong.

“ Yes I did fall asleep from after a gathering at someone’s house.’’ You continue on, bringing your knees to your chest after opening the curtain of your window fully.

The moons brightness illuminates the entire room, but not so bright for you to complain though. ‘’ Oh- was it Jimin’s? Tell him I said hell-’’

You bite your lip hard at his name. He doesn’t know and you wont even dare to let him know. Knowing him, your uncle would have a fit and oppose to come back to Seoul to ‘set the record straight.’ to Jimin. That’s the last thing you want to do, cause trouble.

‘‘ It was his brother’s house warming party.” You say, lowering your tone in your voice. You look at the nightstand for a couple of seconds just before opening the top drawer of the wooden, polished piece. Your hands shakily pull out a picture of you two together.

It was taken at Marne-la-Vallée, France right infront of Cinderella’s castle. That was the day that you and Jimin had to went to Disneyland in Paris, France. You cant help but to think, with the picture in hand, that it was one of the best nights ever. It was also the same night your virginity was taken.

‘‘ Oh.. I know that tone. Are you two arguing at the moment.”

You shrug, “ I mean you could say that.’’

No you cant.

‘‘ Alright alright I won’t talk more of him. Let’s change the subject.” He chuckles deeply into the phone.

‘‘ How’s Europe? Anything new happening on base?”

‘‘ Same old Same old. It’s been what? 2 years since I’ve left Seoul? The food is different over here. They don’t have kimchi pancakes sadly.”

You can only imagine the frowny face he makes at you whenever he doesn’t approve or like something. It always turns out to be funny.

You giggle into the phone shaking your head slightly, “ Of course. You are in Europe Charlie. Where are you getting food from anyway if you are on base?’’

‘‘ I can go off base to a certain mileage when I am off duty. I just have to report back in time. But you do know that you can always come live on base with me...’ He trails off.

Oh boy. Here he goes. He’s always talking about moving you on base with him. Hell, he’s been talking about it since before he had to go to be based in Europe. By then you were twenty years old and old enough to live by yourself. Growing up in Daegu, Korea since you were six, you felt as if Korea was home to you and you definately weren’t ready to leave yet.

Especially, after losing your parents here. Around eight years old, your aunt and mother were on the way to pick up your father from the airport. With your mom and dad also being military and based in Korea with your dad’s bestfriend, your uncle Charlie, your father had been called to take military leave to go and be based in Korea for the National Guard.

On the way back from the airport, a drunk driver had struck the car knocking them off the road and colliding head first into the railing of the bridge. All bodies were reported dead upon collision, including your aunt. Charlie didn’t take the news well at all, and so did you. Only eight years old and still a bit new to a foreign country. It was devistating for you and Charlie. Charlie did what was right and stepped up to be your legal guardian while taking some time off from the military. Till this day, he treats you like his sacred little daughter and you can’t ask for anyone better than him.

“You are old enough to live on your own and housing is avail-”

You jump at his voice on the line again, being too spaced out from the tragic memory. Before he can go on any longer you cut him off. ‘‘ Im fine with the apartment you left me. Im paying the bills on time and taking good care of it.”

‘‘ Alright fine. But that option is always available you hear me? I will always be ready for you to come with me.’’

‘‘ Okay Charlie” You groan.

‘‘ Alright.. sweetie it’s getting late on this side and it’s already 3 am on your side. Get some sleep okay? Don’t you have a model shoot thingy or something? You have those a lot.’‘

‘‘ Yes i actually do in a couple of hours. It’s been a while since I’ve did a shoot. Please eat and sleep well. Don’t injure yourself.’‘

‘‘ I promise. You promise to do the same right?’‘ He says, rustling movements are in the background.

‘‘ Yes I promise. Good night sleep tight..’‘ You smile as you wait for him to finish the rest.

He chuckles one last time on the other end, ‘‘I’ll always love you, goodnight‘’

Beep Beep Beep

You in a racy light pink lingerie with white duvets and sheets is the concept of your comeback. It’s supposed to symbolize the “Night After’’. Camera’s click and directors yell and praise you in your subtle yet damaging moves and facial expressions. You want.. no need for this comeback to be successful. Not only did your manager schedule this, but she is making sure that they release this same very day.

Nobody in this company’s industry has ever did this before. But you, you are sort of the special one. The special foreigner as they say. It’s not like you don’t like it but you don’t like that they label you as that. Stylists, employee’s hell even anybody who works there treat you as a princess. It’s not bad, but it’s just weird.

‘‘ One last one. Give me a sexy yet innocent look mama.’‘ Elliot, the director says, smiling wide at you.

You slip a finger into your mouth and do a little pout with your lips.

Elliot busts out into a roar of happiness with his hands clapping furiously. ‘‘That’s it mama yes! That’s just what we needed!’‘

Adjusting his microphone earpiece, he turns around to greet and thank everyone, ‘‘ Alright everybody this concludes our shooting! You all worked so hard today. Make it home safe, eat well.’‘

Finally. You sigh out in relief and close your eyes. It’s been a long day. Almost 6 hours of shooting. Three Videos, and five swap outfits for each session of shooting for the ‘’ Night After’’. As everyone heads out and starts cleaning up you bow your head slightly and thank them.

A stylist brings you a satin robe to cover yourself in. You thank her and put it on just before getting up from the bed and walking towards wardrobe. Once you are done putting on your clothes, your manager leads you straight out the exit. Outside awaits the car that drives you everywhere. Literally everywhere.

‘‘ Tomorrow somebody has put in a special request for you to appear as the main lead girl in their music video. It’s short notice and I told them I would have to bump some things around and notify you. But they are paying us and you good money to be in it.’‘

Money? Sounds like a plan.

‘‘ It’s fine. Who am I shooting for?’‘ You say, fluffing your hair just a little while inspecting yourself in the rear view mirror.

Your makeup is still intact with no ruins and the contacts they had given you suited you very well. A hazel with a slight bit of teal. Suddenly the car moves off into the busy streets of Seoul. You can’t help but to notice every couple that walks along the sidewalks. They seem so happy, glad to be around each other.

On the floor of the car lies your little mini backpack filled with all of your items and belongings. Picking it up, you begin to dig through it looking for some hand lotion to soothe your semi-dry hands. Once you find it you gently start to squeeze the tube.

‘‘ Kim Namjoon.’‘

You freeze. Namjoon? The same Namjoon from the group? Joonie? It’s been well… a year since you’ve seen him in person. Hell since you’ve seen all of Bangtan Sonyeondan together. Except for lastnight when Hoseok and.. that guy showed up.

You sigh already knowing the answer from the question you are about to ask.

‘‘ From…?’‘ You ask then put the lotion back in your bag. Slowly you rub your hands together to moisturize.

Your manager quickly flips through the daily planner, ‘‘ Bangtan Sonyeodan but this is for one of his mixtape songs.’‘

Thank goodness.

‘‘ That’s fine. What time will the car be arriving tomorrow?’‘

‘‘ 8 am on the dot. You need to be there by 8:30. I’ll be tending to one of my other models tomorrow so you will be alone. I can send som-’‘

‘‘ No no it’s truly okay. I know how to manage things myself. Besides, I learn from you.’‘ You reassure her with one of your winning smiles, laying your head on her shoulder.

‘‘ Aigoo what am I going to do with you?’‘

The day ends very well. The movies you’ve been watching have kept you occupied. But not occupied enough for you to keep crying at all the sad parts in the chick flicks. Breakups, someone had died, someone had even just spilled something onto the floor and that was enough to send you into tears.Only because when the main lead boy rushed to help clean it up, it reminded you of Jimin last-night helping Isabel.

‘’What is going on with myself.’’ You blow your nose into a tissue for what seemed like the thousandth time today. Clara lets out one of her meows beside you then goes back to grooming herself.

You place her onto your lap and begin to run your fingers through her fur over and over again. Such a soothing effect to you as you stare into space sulking in your thoughts.

Why is it that you weren’t enough for him? Why is it that every single little thing reminds you of him? You gave him your all and he gave you his but what happened? Where did you go wrong? Cooked, cleaned, satisfied his needs. You guys had even started to plan out what you wanted out of a family. When you wanted a baby and what you would name it. It was fun. The whole relationship was fun. Right until that scandal.

Ding.. Ding.. Ding.. DI-

You unlock your phone immediately to stop that annoying dinging noise. Not surprisingly it’s a text from Jeon Jungkook.

Kookie : Im coming over I’ll be there in exactly 3 minutes.

Kookie: Don’t think about leaving either.

Kookie: Im bringing someone with me.

Kookie: We need to have a serious talk babycheeks.

You roll your eyes at the nickname he’s given you. No matter how many times you tell him you want him to change it, he declines. There’s no point in asking anymore.

Why would he want to talk anyways and who is the person he’s bringing. Eh.. it might just be Ryan they seem to do everything together as a team.

As soon as you step foot out of your bed the sound the door clicking makes your head shoot up. How in the living hell does he know the password to your house? Rage takes over you. That’s something that you hate. When people invade your personal space. In this case, personal home.

‘‘ Jeon fucking Jungkook!’‘ You scream, abruptly stomping your feet all the way to and out your bedroom door. Suddenly you stop at the sight of the two faces staring back at you.

Jungkook’s expression holds a concerned yet upset face while the other just stands there calm and cool. But you on the other hand are way besides that level.

Your eyes must be filled with rage and the expression on your face is no good. How dare he disrespect you like that? Bringing him into your home, knowing the bad blood between you two. Oh, they both have something coming towards them. You begin to walk to them again making each step make the floor shake.

‘‘ Get out. Both of you. One you invade my personal private home..’‘

You grab both boys by their collars, making sure to grip the one on the right’s harder than usual. ‘‘ Two, you fucking invite him over here.’‘ You drag each of them towards the exit. Which is going good until Jungkook rips your hands away from his shirt and takes you over his shoulder.

You’ve had enough of him and his invasive ways. Pounding on his back with your fists, you make sure to scream into his ear. “ Put me the fuck down Jeon Jungko-”

You hiss at the stinging sensation on your ass. Did he just? Jimin stands there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You make sure to make eye contact with him and roll your eyes. Something that always had and will piss him off.

‘‘ Hush. I told you all of us needed to have a deep talk about you.’‘

Jungkook plops your frail body onto one side of the couch in which he sits next to you. He motions for Jimin to come sit across from the both of you but you aren’t having it.

‘‘ Don’t you do it.” You glare at him. Jungkook sighs harshly only to pluck your forehead two times. You whine and rub it with your index and middle finger.

Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, ‘‘ When are you ever going to learn? Jimin sit down now.”

‘‘ Truthfully.. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here so-”

“ Good. Get out you are unwanted.” You snap back causing him to give you one of his long stares with no facial expression at all.

Jungkook glares at you just before getting up to throw his hands in the air full of disappointment. “ Enough! “

Yelling. Something else you don’t like to hear being done at yourself. You finally sit still and quite avoiding any eye contact with the both of them.

He sits back down and clears his throat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look before continuing on.

‘‘ I gathered us here to talk about you..”

‘‘ Why. Im fine. How many times do I have to say it. Im fine im fine im fine im fucking fine!’‘ You exclaim, getting more mad by the second. When will people accept this?

‘‘ Baby.. ’‘

Your eyes shoot up to him and his soft voice. You didn’t want to but you did because his voice to you is like candy that melts into your mouth.

‘‘ Don’t call me that. You have a girlfriend at-least be loyal to her rather than what you did to me.’‘

‘‘ Fuck is anybody going to just sit here and listen? Can we at-least get to the source of the problem? Huh?’‘ Jungkook leans back into the couch clearly pissed by your attitude.

Jimin’s the first to speak and holds a firm eye contact with you, almost daring you to break away from it.

‘‘ Fine. Im just going to cut straight to it then. Why are you so jealous? You aren’t okay at all. I seen the way you looked at us yesterday. You wanted to break down so bad but you didn’t. It looks like you’ve been dropping weight day by day why aren’t you eating well?’’

You’re taken a-back by his jealous comment. Although you are you just cannot admit it. You are jealous. You do want him back. You cant bear to see him with another girl but you. But the fact that Jimin is concerned makes you really hope. Just hope that there is something left of you still in his heart.

‘‘ Jealous? Jealous tuh.” You scoff, leaning into Jungkook’s arms where you rest his head on your chest. You only do this just to see Jimin’s reaction and by the look on his face he doesn’t enjoy that move one bit.

‘‘ Yes jealous. I mean why else would you put almond extra-

‘‘ Woah. No need to go there. We established that it was a so called accident lastnight.” Jungkook does finger quotes into the air and looks down at you.

You lift your head up and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, “ So called? So you really believe that I did it on purpose. Wow Jungkook. Escort yourself out.’’

He sighs, wrapping his arms around you securly in hopes of you settling down a little, “ Honestly it’s not like that. I wasn’t there to see you bake them nor was I watching her eat it. Im just saying that you knew Jimin was coming and obviously his girlfriend was going to come too. It’s a little sketchy is all.”

There’s no fixing what he said. Him adding onto his explanation just made things sound worse than what he’s trying to say. You don’t have time to be ganged up on, nor like it at all. It’s best if they both just leave, to not turn nothing into something.

‘‘ Get out. Now. Before I call and tell Ryan what you said and then she’ll definitely deal with you.’‘ You say, removing yourself from off of him and onto the other side of the couch with your legs crossed.

Mad isn’t even the word to describe yourself right now. You’re just a mixture of all emotions.

Jungkook now looks of sorriness written all over his face. You bite your lip and shake your head while pointing towards the door. He sighs heavily and takes one last look at you while removing himself from the couch. You watch him slip on his coat and shoes.

Jimin gets up from his spot on the couch, ‘‘ I’ll be leav-”

‘‘ Sit down we aren’t done talking.”

He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sitting back down slowly.

Jungkook keeps his head down as he wraps his blue scarf around his neck. Poor baby, but he shouldn’t of said it. “Please better yourself and talk it out with each-other. Im leaving.”

‘‘ Make it home safely.. Kookie.” You sigh once the door closes behind him. Now you’re here. Face to face with Park Jimin.

The same Jimin who cheated on you. The same Jimin you haven’t seen in a while. You take a few moments to take in his appearance. He seems to have re-gained his muscles that are peaking through his black, longsleeve shirt. His thighs are still thick, just like his luscious lips. Of course he changed his hair color to black. But who knows, he might change it again.

‘‘ You’ve been doing well?’‘ You say, voice low but enough for him to hear. You drop your eyes to your lap instead of keeping intact with his.

‘‘ Yes. But you have not. Im disappointed in you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t do this because of me.”

‘‘ Jimin you don’t know the feeling. You don’t know how it feels to be left wondering why you weren’t good enough for someone. Why they had cheated on you. You don’t understand at all and wont ever.’‘ Your voice cracks on the last sentence and you an feel the lump in your throat become sore.

He bites his lip unsure of what to say next. Those words had hit him good inside. ‘‘ Im sorry. I truly am. But you know the reason why we had to end it. I fucked up bad and the media was making the scandal bigger and messier day by day. It was better to just call it off.’‘

One by one your tears start to drop. You nose begins it’s running trip but you sniffle it back up.

‘‘ You could of denied it. You know you could of made a statement and denied it. But you felt something for her didn’t you? Didn’t you?’‘ You semi-yell, sobs already starting to take it’s way over.

He bites his lip once again and ruffles his fingers through his hair, “ Baby..’’

You wipe your tears with your hands making your face even more puffy from the crying. “ I am jealous. I am I admit it Jimin. But do you know i have been suffering for one year and two months? I can’t sleep at night because im so used to your touch at night. I look at every couple in Seoul and think to myself, Dang they seem so happy. What’s their secret?’’

Jimin sits up, making eye contact with you with tears welling up into his eyes. It hurt’s you more than yourself to see him crying. It always has.

‘‘ Please don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. Please get help from someone to try and move on. Please. I don’t like to see or hear you make yourself suffer.’ He begs, getting up from his seat and coming towards you.

Jimin sits next to you, hesitantly opening his arms up to you. Would it be wrong to embrace him? He’s being too sincere, but thats what you want right? You decide to just do it, and lean into him only for him to pull you in closer into his chest.You just lay there crying and sobbing while he runs his fingers through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He has a girlfriend. But it feels so right.

‘‘ What does she have that I don’t? Why couldn’t you love me the same way you love her “ You cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears.

You’d been waiting for this moment to just let it out. Let everything out.

‘’ Please don’t make this harder than what it is right now. Just try and forget me and move on. Please.” Hypocritcal. How does he expect you to get over him when he’s the one whos holding you so tight right now. Soon enough his sniffles join yours in harmony.

You raise your head up and look him deep into the eyes while you wipe away his tears, “ Don’t cry Jimin. I’m the one supposed to be crying over you. Don’t cry.’’

He takes your hand away from his face and wraps his fist ontop of yours, “Please promise me you will move on okay?’’

You shake your head no, “ I can’t make that promise.”

He doesn’t say anything. He gently cradles you in his arms and lifts you up. You don’t think to where he is going. You just close your eyes and grab onto his shirt firmly not wanting to let go.

Soon enough you feel the cold sheets over your bed. He covers you in the duvet and leans down to your forehead. A kiss. Your fist is still locked onto his shirt in which he tries to pry it away but you don’t want to let him go. He sighs and raises his arms up as he takes off the shirt revealing an extra plain white wife beater under it. Taking your other hand, he wraps your hand into another fist onto the shirt to where both of your hands are holding onto it.

‘‘ Please better yourself for me baby. Sleep and eat well. “

Is all he says before turning off the lights and walking out your bedroom door. You can hear him putting on and zipping up his heavy coat but you just don’t make a sound.

The apartment door clicks and beeps letting you know he’s already gone.

333 notes · View notes

okaymybeloved · 3 years

Text

promise? | ni-ki

bsf!ni-ki x reader

genre: best friend things, moving away, middle school into high school and college, a bit sad at the beginning, idol!ni-ki

summary: best friends y/n and ni-ki promise to be there for each other, always.

wc: 1430 words (this is so long omg)

a/n: i saw a prompt about pinky promises and thought it would be really cute to make a best friends au with ni-ki :) (this au also is based in japan but moves into korea as it goes on)

a/n pt 2: i will be using “riki” in the beginning of the story but will use “ni-ki” towards the end (it’ll make sense trust me)

“you pinky promise?”

“as always, y/n.”

you and riki have always been close, ever since elementary school. both of you would ride bikes together after school, making your mothers panic because their kids were gone for hours at a time. looking back, maybe you shouldn’t have done that to your mothers but those memories could never be replaced. you guys were inseparable. every aspect of your life was shared with him, as he did with you. emotions included. sadness, anger, happiness, you name it. you even started going to dance classes with him. albeit, you actually did enjoy dancing and would choreograph dances together. you both have spent most of your school life together and weren’t planning to separate from each other anytime soon.

“nishimura riki! i’m over here dummy!” you yelled from across the train station.

riki has been looking at his phone the whole time, only looking up after hearing your booming voice from across the station. he jogged a bit to get to you faster.

“hi, y/n! i missed you soooo much!” he teased.

“shut up, we literally saw each other yesterday. at school.”

the train arrives and you both squeeze through the crowd, conveniently finding two empty seats next to each other. as soon as you sat down, you start making conversation.

“riki, can you believe it? it’s our last day and we’re almost done with middle school. i’m excited but scared for high school. oh! we’re going to go to the same high school right? ah! i’m so excited now! i cant wait!” you spoke quickly and excitedly.

what you didn’t catch was that as soon as you mentioned high school, his face fell. he hasn’t told you that he was moving to korea over the summer. he was planning to do it today.

“yeah! i’m very excited! of course i’ll be with you.” riki says with the most fakest excited voice you’ve ever heard in your life.

you looked at him weird. as you opened your mouth ready to speak, the train arrives at your destination. everyone starts getting off and you both do as well.

the last day of school was so sad for you. during class, you cried when all of your friends gave you the biggest hug. your class was close with the teacher as well and she choked up saying goodbye to everyone. there was not one person in your class that didn’t cry. continuing on to your promotion, everyone received their certificates and started taking pictures with family and friends. your parents had come as well, supporting you on your special day.

“where’s riki? i want to get a picture of you two together!” your mom exclaimed.

“i’ll go find him! i’ll be right back!”

you looked around, hopefully spotting a tall boy amongst the crowd. as soon as you found him, you sprinted towards him.

“riki! riki! come here! my mom wants a picture of us together! hurry!”

he laughs at how much you’re rushing him and starts jogging to where your family was. you both started posing for pictures, taking some goofy ones as well. riki looks at you dying of laughter while looking at the photos that were just taken, realizing that this might be one of the last times he’ll ever see his best friend smile before he leaves.

you both went home and celebrated individually with your families. as the night slowly falls, riki realizes he has to tell you now, or else it’ll be too late. he walks to your house and knocks on the door. you open it, not expecting riki to be there,

“oh! riki! what brings you here? it’s late?”

“y/n, i need to talk to you.”

your heart stops for a bit. all these thoughts in your head were screaming at you. does he not want to be friends anymore? does he hate me? did i do something wrong? riki saw you just standing there, so he says,

“you didn’t do anything wrong, i just want to chat.”

you sigh a breath of relief and grab a jacket and head outside. walking to a nearby park, you both sit at the swings.

“hey, this kind of reminds me of that time you pushed me off the swing.” you laughed.

“it was on accident. plus you didn’t die so you’re fine.” riki snorted

“i broke my arm.” you said stonefaced.

he looked at you and both of you tried to hold in your laughs, but ultimately failed. as the laughter died down, riki becomes serious.

“you’re my best friend, y/n.”

“yes, you didn’t need to tell me that. i know.”

he didn’t know how to say it. but he has to. he just bursted out quickly without thinking,

“immovingtokoreatomorrowtobecomeatraineeandbeinanidolgrouppleasedontbemadatmeforleaving.”

you sat there, stunned.

“say that again, but slower.”

“i’m moving to korea tomorrow to become a trainee and be in an idol group. please don’t be mad at me for leaving.” he said again but slower.

you were trying to process it in your mind. your best friend. moving to korea. leaving you in japan. you didn’t even realize tears were dripping from your cheeks until riki used his sweater sleeve to wipe it. you looked up at him and he had tears in his eyes as well.

“i know i said i would be by your side forever. but this is my dream. i want to dance. i’m so sorry i have to leave you.” he cries.

you raised your hand and wiped his eyes with your sleeve as well.

“riki, it’s okay. i understand. this has been your dream since i’ve met you. i’m not mad that you’re leaving me. i want the best for you, always.”

only sniffles were heard as riki pulls you in for a long needed hug. you pulled apart and looked him straight in the eyes,

“remember when we were younger and did pinky promises?”

“of course i do, we still do that now.”

you immediately held out your pinky.

“nishimura riki, do you promise to always be there for each other, no matter what?”

he looked at your for a bit, and held out his pinky as well.

“of course i do.”

you both intertwined pinkies.

“you pinky promise?”

“as always, y/n.”

a couple years have passed now. you have graduated high school and started applying to different colleges.

riki, or now known to the world as ni-ki, has debuted in a group called enhypen. they have been promoting together for a couple years as well.

when ni-ki went to korea, you both tried to keep in contact as much as possible. however, he was very busy with trainee life and you were busy studying in order to get into a good college. you were so happy when you saw that ni-ki had debuted in a group called enhypen, after seeing him work so hard, especially through i-land.

you applied to all different colleges, mostly in japan but you just wanted to take a risk and applied to a college in korea. you did end up getting accepted into that college and was busy packing up all of your things in order to move.

as you arrived in your apartment in korea, you were so thirsty. parched if you will. heading down to the convenience store, you bought your favorite grass jelly drink. it was a nice day outside so you walked to one of the parks nearby and sat at the swings. maybe they were for young children but you didn’t care. you were in a whole new country with a new future ahead of you. swinging and drinking your drink was one of the most relaxing things to do after that long plane ride. you then felt a presence next to you.

“hi, y/n. it’s been a while.” the voice said.

you were shocked. you’ve only arrived to korea a couple hours ago. how did anyone know your name? you didn’t recognize the voice so you looked up. he looked so familiar. then it clicked.

“riki? or should i say, ni-ki?”

“hi.” he smiled.

you engulfed him into the most biggest hug and fell to the ground.

“see, i told you i promised.” he laughs.

you stood up and pulled him up as well. he stood up confused.

“you remembered what i said before you left?”

“of course i did. why would i ever forget?”

you held out your pinky, all the memories flooding back to when you did this years ago.

“you pinky promise?”

he held out his pinky, chuckling, as he intertwines it with yours.

“as always, y/n.”

180 notes · View notes

shanastoryteller · 3 years

Note

Questions about outlines: How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary? How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points? Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go? Sorry if this is to many at once

lmao okay i got several asks about outlines but i’m just going to answer this one because it’s ~comprehensive~

every writing teacher i’ve ever had has hated my outlines. my friends find them incomprehensible.

if people are going to look at my answers as ways to do their own outlines, i have to say: that’s probably not a good idea

i don’t write outlines a majority of the time

i don’t write outlines to plan a story i’ve already decided to write

i write outlines primarily as a way to exorcise story ideas that i want to write but don’t want to actually commit to writing (answer prompts are another way i do this lol)

now, some things do get outlines as a way to plan and organize. survival is a talent has an outline because it’s 400k and spans six years. child king had an outline. needy’s body had an outline.

b u t

i’m currently writing rotten work without an outline

lynchpin didn’t have an outline

hope is the thing with feathers didn’t have an outline

never grow a wishbone only had an outline for the first couple of chapters

an invincible summer didn’t get an outline until like. chapter 4 of 6.

i just. uh. think about what i want to happen and then hope i remember to write it down. even when i do an outline, i’ll deviate from it wildly, and not update it to reflect that, because i know what i’m doing (ha!)

so! with that in mind, let’s go!

How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary?

they vary! but honestly - not very. sometimes i’ll write out a paragraph or bits of dialogue that are important to me, but most of the time it’s just broad strokes of what i want to happen, or a mechanism of how something complicated happens. like i have several paragraphs in my siat outline dealing with necromancy books, but like. two sentences on how they actually occur in the story because that’s just something i’m trusting myself to figure out when i sit down to write it.

How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps?

I try to put them chronologically, although sometimes that’s a little hard (in siat i have several scenes that i know will happen, i just don’t know when). that is something i will go back and edit on my outlines, is if i’ve changed the order the something happens i’ll go back and copy and paste until my outlines is in the right order. but only if the outlines is something i’m actually using to write and the story is longer than a couple of chapters.

because my outlines are so very not detailed, i just write down what it is that i want to write, like the reason i’m going to write this or want to write this, and figure out the rest later. i’ll fill it in later - or i won’t! because most of the time i don’t use my outline to actually write the story, and i use it more as an idea list, so if i don’t know what happens between scenes or i find it boring i just won’t write it down

like, for example, here is my “outline” for won’t even plant a garden in it’s entirety

weep as a woman

“you weep as a woman weeps.” “and how is that?” “as if the future rests on your hips, and you must walk it forward.”

crowley and eve were friends. cain killed abel with the flaming sword, and crowley begged them to say it was with a rock instead

crowley was raphael the painter and fucked michelangelo

crowley was there the night yeshua was born, was friends with mary, helped raise yeshua?

ghosts

crowley and anathema and joan of arc

i ended up dropping most of this and crowley ended up sleeping with both eve and yeshua as the major plot points. i don’t explain stuff, really. i know what i mean so i just don’t bother to get very detailed most of the time.

Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points?

siat i divide up by year, and i think i did it by chapter for the last two chapters of build your wings on the way down, but otherwise it’s just one long list. i do my chapters based on words counts rather than content, so outlining by chapter doesn’t really make sense for me (siat is always around 15k a chapter, and everything else i do these days thats multi chapter is around 8k because that’s the best, but ngawb was 5k a chapter and i think for child king it was around 11k a chapter)

Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go?

I’m constantly adding as a i go! my outlines are never really “complete” they’re just abandoned. i write down what i think will help me and tend to ignore the rest. sometimes i just. talking to myself in my outlines when i’m trying to think something through.

my outline for child king is under the cut because that’s one that’s a good mix of stuff i kept and stuff i threw out. DON’T JUDGE ME!! bad ideas don’t get written because they’re bad!! it’s part of the ~process~

child king

Summary: “A child king is still a king,” Deaton says softly. “A child king is still a child,” he snaps, but he knows this is an argument he’s already lost. – Stiles is a born alpha, and after the Hale fire, things get real complicated, real fast.

Stiles’s mom is the last remaining human from a pack that was destroyed by hunters. John is the one that helps her after, so he knows everything. When they move to beacon hills she doesn’t feel the need to say anything to the hale pack, because as far as they’re concerned she’s just a human, and she doesn’t want to get involved in pack business. But then stiles is born with red eyes. The doctor is quiet and scared john and Claudia freak out, but it’s because he’s a werewolf, which is a relief to parents because they thought something was wrong with their kid. Maybe they don’t know he’s an alpha, only that he’s a wolf? Or they know and they keep it a secret on purpose

Claudia is the one to approach mrs. Hale. She tells her that her son is a born werewolf, but that she’s not interested in joining their pack. Her husband is a new deputy and they just bought a house but they’ll move if they have to. “he’ll need a pack one day. It’s safer,” she says. “if he wants to join you one day, I won’t stop him. But that’s not a choice I’m willing to make for him.” Mrs hale agrees that they can say separate as in exchange for the sheriff smoothing over some ruffled feathers no and again. They agree. Claudia to sheriff “we’re going to have to move one day. Our son is an alpha, and he’ll need to make his own pack.”

Stiles is seven the first time he snarls at his mom, eyes flashing red, and she freezes. She’s got the pack instinct, it doesn’t matter that hes her kid, hes still her alpha, so its hella awkward. John can see how this will quickly spiral out of control if they can discipline their own kid. But stiles is the one to back down first, apologizing and doing as he’s told. There are careful power structures here, and this is the beginning of differentiating between stiles the human and stiles the wolf.

When his mom gets sick, stiles offers to turn her. Hale offers to turn her. She refused for Reasons that I have to figure out. Maybe the politics of it? Wanting to protect stiles and not wanting to become part of the hale pack

The fire happens. John ships stiles the hell out of dodge, because there are hunters about. He snoops around enough to figure out it was kate argent, but theres not really anything he can do about it

Scott knows about everything, and tries to tell his mom in a really akward way that they should trust stiles if they’re ever in danger, but she just laughs it off. Except when someone breaks in and threatens her with a gun, and she manages to make a phone call, it’s not 911, not john, but stiles, and she doesn’t even know why, regrets it as soon as it happens. But then stiles shows up and breaks both of the guys, eyes glowing red, and then calls his dad and scott to take care of it, because they’re humans, so they get human punishments. Melissa is told everything.

Scott has a bad asthma attack and, and Melissa asks about the bite. Scott is itching for it. He wants it so badly. Stiles has already promised to turn them when they turn 18, and Melissa knows that. She asks if theres a reason to wait, and the answer is nah, not really. So he gets the bite. Stiles being like uh psa punishments cant include scott staying away

After hale fire and stiles gets back, he’s shocked that hey just left, and that they left peter behind. He starts visiting peter several times a week. He tells his dad that they should pay for his medical care. They have a fuckton of money because his mom inherited all the pack wealth, and john doesn’t touch it because that’s stiles’s money, that’s werewolf money. But this is a werewolf thing, so he agrees. “his pack left him dad.”

Stiles bites Erica when they’re 14. Some point in middle school stiles wises up to the Isaac thing and tells his dad he needs to arrest his dad, or stiles is going to kill him, and he’s not even a little bit joking. Stiles hears Isaac crying while going by the house? In johns squad car. Makes them pull over, then bursts into the house. John goes with it because his son’s eyes are red.

Some point after the hales leave, things start trying to move into hale territory. Some wolves? Stiles smells them, and ends up at 10 years old telling them to fuck off. This how scott finds out? He’s with scott and his dad. Deaton is facing off against something? Panics when stiles intervenes, but stiles goes wolfy and red eyes and is like. This is mine now fuck off. Looks at the hale house, and finally says, we have to take care of this. We have to. But they don’t own the house or the land or any of it. They do … something

Stiles ends up having to deal with a lot of crap real young

Stiles has scott and Isaac when peter wakes up. Stiles is there, and peter isn’t crazy because he wasn’t abandoned to die alone. Stiles says he can stay, or he can go, not trying to pressure anything. Peter chooses to become part of stiles’s pack, because his family is either dead or abandoned him. Peter ends up moving in with them as he finishes healing and to get used to being in a pack and with stiles. It’s very strange for john, but it’s a werewolf thing and he’s trying to be supportive. After a couple months, stiles tells his dad that having peter is a relief, that there’s finally someone who knows things, someone older who can support him as a werewolf. Peter acts as his second, and he finally has some degree of authority that age has lost him. Stiles has peter take care of the hale house. Peter and stiles have the conversation, where peter is like the hale land is your land now. You’re the alpha of beacon hills. He does what stiles directs him to.

Isaac is living with scott under stiles’s direction ish. But lots of Melissa. Isaac like I don’t wantto be afraid anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore, and stiles is like. Okay. We’ll fix this. But he doesn’t bite Isaac until he goes to a shitton of therapy and has mostly sorted himself out. For isaac’s fifteenth birthday, he bites him.

Erica is spur of the moment, it’s something that all instinct and very little thought. OR they’re dating and it happesn? Erica’s parents suck. Stiles doesn’t want the balancing act of being boyfriend and alpha.

Jackson is so fucking desperate to belong to something. He nags and nags and nags and finally stiles bites him at least half to shut him up.

“dad can I talk to you about something weird and uncomfortable and a little creepy” talks about crush on Lydia, and how he’s not sure if its because he has a crush on her or if it’s bc he thinks she’ll be good for the pack. Lydia joins before Jackson, and she’s the one that pushes stiles into it. Lydia and stiles are not dating, but she’s clearly high in the hiarchey.

Boyd? Just like. Shows up. Idk.

So by the time laura and derek show up, stiles’s pack is: john, Melissa, peter, Lydia, Jackson, danny, Isaac, boyd, Erica, deaton (who’s acting as emissary but is training danny). Maybe bring in some later characters, like malia and kira and cora. Ooooh maybe the twins show up before they became alphas, still run aways and looking for something else? Stiles takes them on. Stiles finds malia early on after the fire

Peter is willing to forgive derek but he has a lot of shit with laura. Stiles agrees to let laura and derek stay and not be part of his pack, although laura insists she doesn’t need his permission. She snaps at peter to come home with them, and he looks at her like she’s insane. He says there’s no hale pack, and if there was, he’s not interested. He’s a stillinkski wolf now. Cora too maybe? Double blow. Peter owns the hale land, and he makes it clear the day stiles turns 18 he’ll be signing it over to him. Stiles is known by the surrounding packs.

Stiles has to somehow defend the surrounding area, has to make it clear he’s his and that he’s not willing to give it up. It’s valuable land. People are going to come looking for it once people figure out it’s abandoned. When deaton finds out stiles is an alpha, he goes around as an emissary to the surrounding packs. Saying that its under stiles now. He’s known to them so it goes mostly uncontested. This is when he and the sheriff have the child king conversation.

Stiles tries really, really hard to be a good alpha. That means controlling the territory, and working with other packs when members go rouge or something goes wrong. He’s thirteen the first time he goes to lend a hand in a fight, and it’s young, it’s too young, but he’s an alpha. He has to do this, to maintain the peace. And the thing is – stiles is good at this, good at not pushing, at not using his status as a crutch or an excuse, instead as a tool.

Maybe this is why no one cares for laura’s excuses. As much as laura wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility, she was an adult, if only barely. Stiles is a literal child, and in her absence shouldered it all. So even if she does technically have a claim, none of them are willing to honor it. “if you kill alpha stiles, you won’t have allies, you’ll have enemies.”

Allison and argents. Stiles brings his pack to kill kate. Gives peter the chance to do it himself, and is so very proud when he says no. but instead of letting her go free, stiles crushes her throat. “revenge would have been trapping you all in here and setting the whole thing on fire. Justice would have been making you watch as she burned alive. This was mercy, and don’t you forget it.” Scott is hella in love with Allison, but he knows this comes first. Her mom is full of hatred, but stiles more than makes it clear that he has no problem with killing her too.

Stiles sees derek soon after. They’ve already gone back and forth a lot. But he and laura weren’t there. Stiles tells him what he did. They have a ~moment~

Derek wants so very much to join stiles’s pack, but he doesn’t want to lose laura.

Something finally convinces laura to take the plunge and the stillinksi pack is one happy family

#asks #anon #writing advice

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thequeenb · 3 years

Text

A Hell Of A Year

I can't say i didn't miss you guys, i know my vocation was long but what would you do if you were caught red handed with your professor by the whole university? Well that doesn't matter anymore because i am back and boy oh boy i feel like a celebrity.

You know me, i wore an incredibly sexy red suit with black stilettos for my first day. Its been so long i almost forgot what its like to have drama. No dirty blogs, no bratty rich kids, just me, cocktails and sexy women.

I walk around the campus lost in thought and now that i mentioned sexy women..Poppy! I haven't even got a text from her all summer but we all know i am stubborn too so i didn't try to contact her. I think she is still bitter for winning the award but its just a stupid title, right?

Well maybe for me..i just realized everyone looks at me like they saw a ghost. Yea yea i am kind of a celebrity on T because of all the scandals i get involved to but come on, everyone is staring. Luckily for me i spot a friendly face that sweeps me off my feet

"Bea you are back!!" Zoe says hugging me tight. I haven't seen her all summer it finally feels nice to be around her

"Back and ready to run, have you seen how every student looks at me?" I roll my eyes as we continue our walk

"Well you are kind in the middle of a scandal right now" Zoe looks at me and i can sense her sympathy. I mean i understand i did sleep with my professor but..ugh i am done with excuses

"Now that you mentioned that, though i would like to talk about my sexy time in Miami, there is something important you should know" i take my phone out as she reads the texts i got from the unknown number

Zoe's eyes widened in surprise as she hugs me tight "I can't believe that creep babe"

"Its weird right? It must be the same person who uploaded the photos, ugh i didn't come here to be a celebrity, i came here to study law" i roll my eyes again as every student i pass by has something to gossip about me

"You don't know me but i do..what Is this? Pretty little liars? Ugh so cliche" Zoe is annoyed but her jokes lighten my mood

Speaking of gossip there she is. Sitting by herself i see Poppy with a magazine in her hands. Wait a minute..she is alone? I must be dreaming

I approach closer and for the first time since the award night we lock eyes. I can feel my heart beat fast and i can see tears in her eyes. I must say its kind of sad to see her alone but now she isn't

"He-" before i even finish my sentence Poppy is fast to interrupt me

"Save your breath Hughes, my parents adviced me to stay away from you"

Zoe laughs shaking her head "And since when do you care? How old are you again?"

"I think you should ask your friend that since she was so comfortable hooking up with her professor for months now" her attention goes back to the magazine because she cant meet my eyes

I sigh yanking the magazine off her hands "Come one Pops lets take a walk, i think what i have to say is far more interesting than thirsting over Selena's Gomez cover"

Poppy pouts but does as i say. I wave goodbye at Zoe and i finally find a calm place to talk freely

"Seriously i have nothing to say to you, you humiliated me Infront of my parents and how did you learn about my father? Ugh you are gross" She is frustrated i understand, but so am i

"Its not like you were an angel is it? Making my life a living hell wasn't exactly polite was it Miss Queen B? Or should i add ex in my sentence" i approach her face looking intently into her eyes, a fire burning within

"Oh yea because a stupid title counts, go ahead they will soon realize what a snake you are. I can't wait to read another scandal of yours who knows? Maybe you will publicly fuck Infront of all of us!!" This time her tone is harsh and i can see her jealousy creeping out of her body

"Listen Hughes you may won the battle but not the war, now go back to your Prof i am sure you have some "work" to do" and just like that she turns her heels ready to leave but i grab her in time pinning her against the wall

"I missed you" i breathe out as i hold her body close to mine. Out of all the insults i prepared to fire back thats all i managed to say. All this time away from her was torture but now i got her where i want her.

"Why didn't you call?" She says but this time she sounds genuine and i sigh not knowing what to respond exactly. I am so caught up to my own mistakes that i cant even enjoy this moment

Words can not describe the desire i feel for her so i capture her lips with mine in a passionate kiss. She groans as she deepen the kiss, i hold her hands above her head and i can hear her disappointment when i pull apart

"I dreamt about you all summer, watching all these couples at the beach made me so jealous" i whisper in her ear while i suck the sensitive spot there

"Oh i- i missed your annoying company too" she says and i laugh, my breath hot against her skin

Just as i was about to continue i can hear the bell ring, a reminder that we aren't alone and i should probably stay off trouble, the Dean already hates me

"Well then, i should go in-"

"Wait Poppy i have something to tell you" i stop her tracks once again

"Make it quick, time is money" i roll my eyes at her and for a second i can see a small grin. I take my phone out showing her the messages and her expression goes ice cold

"I know you hate me but look maybe you were right and i do need your help not because i use you but because i-"

"Whoever is threatening you will pay" her tone is hard exactly like the day i met her

"Because thats my job" she adds and i can see her cheeks turning pink. Ah i really did miss her

"Thank you? Thats decent of you but we should probably get going now"

"Right you have a professor to hook up with" she says but if i didn't knew better she is joking this time. Despite the joke a heavy realisation sinks into my heart

I have to deal with the Dean and prove Ina's innocence. I hate that i am the reason she might lose her job and ugh what was i thinking this whole scenario was bad to begin with, why did my parents send me here and-

Suddenly my thoughts are interrupt as i feel a soft hand reaching mine

"I am here" Poppy says smiling at me, and for the first time in a long time its sweet and filled with love. I hold her hand tight appreciating the gesture. And she is right, she is here with me, and with her by my side, its going to be a hell of a year.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr @wolfietheduckyou @somin-yin

#queen b poppy #queen b zoe #queen b #poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc #choices #choices fanfiction #choices fic #poppy min sinclair x mc #queen b choices #playchoices #pb choices #pb

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anonbeadraws · 4 years

Photo

So I caved and with @spacespectres help made an avatarsona! With a big chunky statement to go with it! (Trigger warnings for homophobia/transphobia, conversion therapy, death and parental abuse. Everyone gets just desserts though.)

‘I’m, actually not sure why I’m here. You can’t help me, my son is gone and the police arn't saying it but - I’m sorry, my ears are- It’s like- You know those alarms, the ones that are made to disperse kids at shopping centres, keep them from causing trouble- not that i think they work. you see more of them these days, scruffy and dirty, what their parents doing, i don’t- Anyway, it’s like that noise, that high buzz. it’s meant to be that, as you get older, your brain tunes it out, adults aren’t meant to hear it anymore, just keep on shopping without hoodlums hanging about outside smoking and throwing shit at the elderly. I don’t miss that, Ben’s smoking, i’ll say that. That’s awful to say, i bet you’re thinking, god how terrible, her child’s missing and she’s moaning about a few nicotine stains on the ceiling.

I know theres plenty that would call me a terrible mother anyway, i know the neighbours didn’t agree with my decision, the decision of a single mother, who struggled enough just to keep her child fed and watered and out of trouble, to then struggle to keep him from wearing my lipstick when i was out of the house-! I have no problem with the gays. I want to say that, have that clear. I just know, what he was doing, that wasn’t my Ben, that wasn’t my son and, the Helping House was what he needed. I’m his mum, i know what he needed, don’t care what his dad says. he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here to raise Ben, so he doesn’t-

The pamphlet was so nice, so professional and i checked it out online, all 5 stars, apart from the odd protester sticking his oar in, and it was- reassuring to know he’d be looked after, helped! Get what he needed. And he was fine when i left him there, with his old school backpack with all his bits in, the Helping staff there to welcome him. Reminded me a little of when he started primary school, he looked so small, all big eyes… They promised it’d be a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and then he could come home, all better.

I got to visit every weekend, which was nice! Sometimes brought him biscuits, can't beat home made, chatted a little. He still had that, that look from when i left, like he was little again, when i could tell he didn’t really want to leave me at the gates, he didn’t want to go in all alone, couldn’t we just go home instead mum? But i was strong. For him. I resisted.

I think, it was when that look started to go, that little boy look, replaced with something, i don’t really want to think about even now, that i really noticed the other patients. One in particular. He looked different from the others. Props to the Helping House, they keep, kept the kids tidy. it was actually lovely, real treat to see Ben all combed and neat, not smelling like his trash dump of a room. And not a whiff of smoke! i’d honestly not have been surprised if he’d snuck in some ciggies in but if he had, they must have confiscated em quick. No fags in the Helping House! I mean-! oh you know, what i mean!

But this one,.. they all dressed in clothes from home, apparently they worked out its better for the process, this one was a mess. Half shaved hair, no knees in the jeans and honestly, sunglasses indoors? who did He think he was!? Mick Jagger? He just slouched in the corner of the visiting room, looking out into the gardens, like he belonged there in that clean good place. They were nice gardens, well looked after, like the kids. I remember it was coming up summer, lots of lovely flowers. lots of happy bees.

Anyway, i did Not like how Ben looked over at, him, while we had our cups of tea. it was this, gooey soft look i’d never seen on him. later i remembered it. it was how his dad looked when we started courting. That cloying honey sweet love that turned sickly and choking far too quick. God, that look, on my boys face? You bet I had words with the staff before i went. I did not bring my boy here to get help and it be ruined by some hooligan with warped intentions. I made sure they understood. They didn't seem to know what i meant by the Sunglasses kid but it’s a big facility, probably get a lot of patients. Their success rate was incredible really, always seemed to be spaces open. Whatever they did, didn’t do a lot though. Cause i kept seeing him, every time i visited. And he drew a crowd. At first it was the ones who didn’t have family to come, poor dears. They’d be sat, close as they could to him. They had rules about touching in the Helping House, and rightly so, helps with, the temptation, but they’d sit there, close as they could to him, just listening, sun on their faces from the big glass window. Now that i’m thinking about it, I don’t think i remember ‘em blinking? Anyway, Could never hear what was said, what venom that creeper was pouring into their ears, whenever i tried to hear him over the other visitors, it just came over as a low buzz. Well, whatever it was, those kids were hooked. I didn't like it. And the next weekend, there more of ‘em! You’d have kids that’d be crying one week that their family hadn't come, who didn't give two shits the next, pardon my french. They’d be sat in the corner, happy sappy faces, listening to whatever nonsense that kid was murmuring to his little flock. They didn’t touch, not then, but it was a close thing, i remember being so shocked that nothing was being done about it. It was obviously a problem. that weirdo was the problem.

But my boy didn’t stray. He might’ve looked over at that hive of idiots who worked against what these good people were trying to do for them, with that… look. But he stayed and drank his tea with me like he should. He looked tired, but i knew that’s cause he was working hard, getting better. i got the reports.

But the last couple of visits, i come in and it’s just my boy in the visitors room. The rest were outside in the garden, in the flowers. All those kids, twenty or so of em, tangled in each other, touching and so close. I don’t think they were, Doing things but, it was against regulation for sure, and I stood up, to go do something, anything, even just yell at them to stop it, ask what they thought they were doing!? That’s when the Buzzing started. For a second i thought it was just a bee come in from the garden, poor little bumble trapped indoors but it was in my ears, in my head. It was nothing i’d ever felt before and I’ve had Tinitus and that’s a nasty bugger but it was more than that.

Been to the doctors since. Apparently they can’t work it out, whats causing it. All they can say was it wasn’t Tinitus.

I think it was, Sunglasses looking at me. I remember when i got up, to tell ‘em off, i remember light in the corner of my eye, like a reflection off glass. I think he turned, he knew i was going to stop em and he-

Last sunday was the last time, the last visit. Had a big tin of biscuits, gingerbread, Ben’s favourite, had some nice news about his cousin getting into uni, first in the family! Always had hopes Ben would be the second, but- Ben wasn’t waiting for me. He was outside. With Them.

Him.

There he was, holding the hand of that freak and the staff were just stood round like numpty’s doing nothing! Dumb faces and vacant as their patients were outside rolling about in the sun like it was the 60’s! And smoking! I thought, they must’ve found a stash cause i could see the smoke, swirling dark against the sky, dark against their smiling, stupid faces.

I was furious. i was, so angry.

I think thats why i did it. I was so angry that i couldn’t think of anything else to do but grab that sunglasses wearing freak who was corrupting my boy, who was holding his hand and steering him wrong and undoing all my work and love, and shake my anger out of him. I was yelling all that, yelling at him. I remember he was light, not as heavy as he should be, not for a kid his age and that he didn’t flinch. And he spoke to me, in that low drone that I thought had been just distance and space distorting his voice, but was just him, god it was just him.

I cant remember exactly what he said, something about love, real love, some hippy nonsense. No, i remember one thing. The little shit asked if i thought i was ‘my child’s real Family.” ‘Of course, i said, ‘i’m his mother’ Then he smiled, like i was wrong and i hated him. And I could see myself, in that dark reflection, in those stupid shades and i couldn’t stand it. I wish i hadn’t, done what i did. i just didn’t want to see myself in that black mirror anymore, all twisted and hateful. Turns out it was far nicer than what was behind them.

I let go, dropped it, that thing in ripped jeans and stripes and it fell into the flowers. There were so many happy bees. Thats when i heard the other kids. They had it’s voice, shared it’s voice, that drone. That buzz. i didn’t dare look at them. My ears, started up again, like before but, that sound, their sound, it made it louder and i honestly thought my head might explode and I turn to Ben, my boy, who had dropped to his knees in front of that thing, holding it’s hand and for a second, I thought he was smoking again, dark wisps coming from his downturned face and, I just, my fear turned to anger, for just a second, that he would do that here and now.

But I begged him to come away, to leave it alone, to get better, to just be my little boy again, to come home with mummy. Then he looked up, my Ben, and his face- it wasn’t smoke, it had never been smoke. it was the same as whatever had been bumbling around in the creature that still lay in the flowers but Ben smiled all the same. I, feel crazy, crazy saying it but- as the bees poured out of my little boy’s smiling mouth in that choking swarm, their buzzing droning out his words, my boys last-

My name is Sarah

i’d never seen him happier.

Apparently I fainted. Never fainted in my life, i’ll tell you, too tough for that sort of thing, but i must’ve. Police think it’s what saved me. I like to think otherwise. Officially, what happened was that the patients turned on the staff, killed em and left. Simple, explainable. Some sicko’s like to use what happened as an argument against conversion therapy, old hippy dykes that don’t have enough to picket over, idiots. They didn’t see the bodies, they didn’t see what those ‘helpless victims’ did- They dragged them outside after they killed em, into the sun, into the flowers. I remember waking up once, amongst all the dead. Happy bees, dipping their beaks into the blood of the doctors. Plenty of sugar in blood, I read.

Ben was all i had left, my only family. I don’t have no one left. You don’t get many visitor when the papers insist you made your kid a killer. Don’t even get phone calls from Dave anymore, but i call that blessing. He was barely Ben’s dad anyway. I’ve gotten used to the quiet. i go to work, i come home, watch a bit of telly. the buzz from the old tv only scares me a little. I know i did my best for him. i believe that, after everything. I wouldn’t be here though, if, there wasn’t, something else.

I had a visitor the yesterday. Wasn’t expecting it, thought it was a missionary, Jehovah’s or something. Was ready to tell them to piss off, i tell you. It was a girl. Said she was my daughter. she looked like my Ben, same smile, same funny little knees he used to scrape up, ones i used to kiss better. It wasn’t Ben. My Ben had eyes. My daughters words buzzed, like there was something in her throat. Perhaps the same things that crawled where her eyes would be, round and yellow and bumbling, i thought, and my head starting hurting again. She only stayed at the door, didn’t come in. She said she just wanted to say hello.

She said she’ll visit again.

That she’ll bring her family.

i don’t think she means me anymore.’ The magnus archives belongs to Rusty Quill, the above belongs to me!

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hrwinter · 4 years

Photo

You’re not sure what you remember about home. If you try, it might be blue skies and warm summer rain that you played in for hours. It might be your mother washing the mud out of your clothes, frowning and asking if it was really necessary for you to roll that completely in the dirt. You told her you were just doing what the dog did.

You had a dog, right?

You’re not really sure.

Because the other memories you have are not blue and green and the dirt brown of your knobby childhood knees. They’re grey and orange and crispy charcoal black. The market you visited where your parents would sometimes have hushed meetings behind shaky hands, it’s rubble. The wind that used to blow the fragrance of fresh peaches and citrus, it’s ash. The home you had is gone.

You remember a voyage, long, dark, and ripe with a putrid accumulation of smells. You remember getting to see the water a few times, opal blue and ever shifting. It was beautiful. But the ship crashed or was attacked, you don’t know, and then it was back to the oranges of fire, the reds of blood, and the screams of your parents you’d never find.

You washed up on shore alone.

Although, not quite alone.

That’s when you first saw her. The crow. You’re sure of that. She’d been there, pecking at the sand near your arm, the same one still clutching the cheap large plastic debris. It had saved your life. You looked over the edge of it, coughing salt water into the surf, and you saw her.

It was weird. She’d surprised you. You’d never seen a bird so big and black, you thought, and she shuffled from foot to foot, nervous. Was she hungry? Was she scared?

You don’t get a chance to find out before a man with large hands is swatting her away. She cawed angrily, reluctant to go, but she did, maybe to a nearby tree. He shook your shoulders then and asked you who you were.

“Kara,” your voice came out in a croak, not yours.

“Kara,” he says again.

The crow cawed.

It’s years before you put the patchwork pieces of your life back together, that you find out what happened to you. That a warmongering company, LuthorCorp, helped exacerbate the tensions in your region then exploited and profited from them by selling both sides weapons. But that doesn’t become relevant for a long time. For now, you’re an immigrant, and an immigrant is not a very good thing in this new country.

It could be worse. There are other kids who are not as lucky as you. Somehow having never set foot here, you have dual citizenship. Your mother was American. So, despite the government calling your parents insurgents and traitors, they don’t try to deport you. Or keep you locked in a cage. Instead, they put you in foster care.

It’s hard. It’s toiling. It takes you a long while to learn the language. You’re shy to talk because of it.

And you’re pretty. At least, people keep telling you that you are. You’re not sure what you see when you look in the mirror. The kind, clever blue eyes of your mother. The hard line of your father’s brow when he’d reprimand you for sneaking too many cookies.

But your prettiness doesn’t feel like a good thing. The other children resent you for it. And it brings you a different kind of attention, a kind that has you cowering from your foster mom’s drunk boyfriend, a kind that has your crow swooping in and attempting to peck out his eyes. She almost manages it, but when he swings, taking hold of her, you jump into the fray, too. You would’ve killed him if your foster mother hadn’t intervened.

That’s right, your crow has followed you here, has followed you through it all. She’s in the tree outside of the window when your foster mother returns you to the group facility for being ‘cruel and violent.’

You didn’t do anything. At least, you didn’t do anything you wouldn’t do again, a hundred times over.

“We’re better off here, anyway,” you tell the crow sitting with you during lunch recess.

“Why do you talk to that thing?” a boy asks you nearby, trapping a soccer ball with his foot.

“She’s my friend.”

“Friends can’t be birds.”

Yes, they can, you think.

“She doesn’t understand you,” he feels the need to add, certain.

But she does. You know she does.

---

You’re adopted into a new home not long after that. It’s different than the others. They’re called ‘Danvers.’ Eliza and Jeremiah, your adoptive parents, they’re kind and intelligent. They encourage your natural abilities in science and math. You’re starting to get A’s for the first time in your life, and you’re less reluctant to speak in class.

You still feel like an impostor. It doesn’t seem like a reality that’s meant for you. You were meant for the bottom of the sea.

“You have a right to be here,” Eliza tells you, but that’s not how your new sister acts.

Your crow has somehow inferred the antagonism between you. One afternoon she swoops in to steal a large portion of Alex’s sandwich and drops it on your plate.

“Hey!” Alex shouts after her, but the crow merely glares at her with dark black eyes, wings ruffling on your side of the picnic table.

“You did that on purpose.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Alex looks between two of you, wary, parsing.

“How did you train it to do that, anyway?”

“…patience?” you improvise.

“You’re lying.”

The crow caws loudly, and Alex narrows her eyes.

“Whatever, I’m going inside.”

The crow watches her leave, and you soothe her ruffled feathers with a hand. The sheen of them always makes them seem oily, but they’re not at all. Her feathers are soft, and she preens a little under the touch. You gives her a nickel to play with. Maybe you’ll actually try to train her.

So, you make her puzzles. She seems somewhat competent in checkers. You read to her. Her favorite stories are fairy tales. Her favorite foods are unsalted peanuts, boiled eggs, shell and all. She likes apples too (you painstakingly removes the seeds, they’re bad for birds.) You feed her from the window. She sleeps in the tree there and follows you to school and back every single day. She watches you organize quarters for a state collection, nipping slightly at the plastic casing.

“I already gave you Iowa,” you tell her.

She clicks her beak back at you. Sometimes, she’ll steal your keys. You think she just likes things that you like, but you’re not sure. Alex says you’re projecting. Alex says you make up things that aren’t there, but honestly, Alex is a little mean.

Once on a fishing trip, the crow used bread to catch a fish, laying it before you all on the thick wood pier planks.

“That bird is smart,” Eliza comments, watching her chase away a hawk that seems a little too interested in the fish.

You’re proud. She’s fearless.

“Their brains are bigger than ours proportionally,” you reply with enthusiasm. You look to Alex. “See.”

“Her brain is bigger than yours,” Alex mumbles over her empty fishing line, and the crow dives down to nip at her.

“Hey!” Alex swats without making contact. The crow flies away again. “That crow doesn’t like me, I swear. She knows me.”

“Of course she does.”

“It’s meaner to me.”

“She’s a she, not an it,” you correct her.

“It’s not normal.”

“It’s perfectly normal for a crow,” you bicker with Alex. “They don't forget a face. They hold a grudge.”

“You sound like the Discovery Channel.”

“Well, it’s true. Did you know that they also mourn the dead? That they don’t migrate, staying in one place for most of their life?”

“So, you’re saying we’ll never get rid of it? Great.”

“She,” you correct her again testily. “And they can live to be 15 years old. So, yeah, you’re stuck.”

Alex quiets, and you’re thrilled to have won the argument.

But deep down inside, you’re willing to admit it’s a little weird, she’s a little weird. Crows are supposed to be social, and you’ve never seen her with any other crow. She only talks to you. She only follows you.

It would be crazy to think she wasn’t quite a crow, but something else, something more. Wouldn’t it? But you kind of do. You don’t admit it to anyone, but you do.

---

Graduation from high school is close, only days away. You’ve arranged everything for college, although not without a hulking amount of help from Eliza. She organized all of your scholarship forms, your applications, your dozens of essays. She kept you on track with projects and midterms and extracurriculars (you’re the captain of the Geology club, who knew!) And it’s all materialized into your acceptance at National City University. It’s only a couple of hours from Midvale, and you can’t wait for August.

Sometimes it’s crazy to think you’re going to college. A blonde, blue eyed girl who washed up on the beach one day like a sand dollar? You would’ve never put your money on her.

But here you are, walking a beach not that far from the one you arrived on, a big slate blue sky in front of you, wind whipping your hair. You think about the future; the new city, the potluck roommate, eighteen hours of classes in biomedical engineering.

“You’ll come with me to college, right?” you say to the crow perched on your shoulder, bobbing with every step you take.

The crow softly caws and nuzzles its head on your shoulder. It’s a rare form of her affection. Otherwise, her eyes are focused on the little crabs skittering in and out of the waves.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, you know,” you reach to bring the crow to your hand, her pointed claws clinging gracefully to two of your fingers. She looks back at you expectant and listening, canting her head to the side every now and again.

“We’ve never really talked about it,” you say as if it’s typical to apologize for conversations you haven’t had with your crow. “But you’ve always been there. You protected me.”

The crow flaps her wings a little. Is it pride? Joy?

“Thank you.”

You’re not sure what overtakes you then, but you do something you’ve never done before. Despite the fact that you’ve seen her roll around in ant piles, you lean forward and plant a little kiss on her feathered head.

Immediately, you know something has changed, that something is different. There’s a shimmer in the air in front of you, prismatic in color, and the crow flies away from you, landing, staggering in the sand. You chase after, but a crisp gust of wind blows sand into your eyes and you wobble, falling. When you scramble to your feet again, blinking and rubbing the grit out of your eyes, you don’t see your crow, but a girl with eyes as green as spring leaves, with hair as black as crow.

“You’re her,” you say as she sits up, looking confused, one armed draped across her middle.

“Yes,” the girl answers simply, shaping the word as if unfamiliar.

“You’re naked,” you announce.

“Yes.”

You strip your light jacket off, suddenly rushing to cover her. You rub her shoulders and she looks at you in that same, too intelligent way.

It is her.

You have no idea know what to say next. You just watched a bird transform into a human. It’s not real. You made it up. Maybe you passed out. You did eat a lot of cinnamon rolls right before this. You pinch yourself, but you don’t wake up. You’re still here on the windy beach, clutching a familiar creature in your arms.

In a panic, you fall back on the very first English you learned.

“I’m Kara,” you say. She sort of smiles as if that’s obvious. “What’s your name?”

She looks away, thinks hard. She has a strong jaw. Her skin is too white, like it’s never seen sun. Maybe not under the feathers? God, you think you’re going crazy.

“Lena.”

“Do you have parents, Lena?”

It’s a ridiculous question. She’s been with you for eleven years. But it’s a ridiculous situation.

“I—don’t remember. But I guess I do,” she says thoughtfully. Her voice has a raspy quality to it, not unlike her caw. “They probably think I’m dead.”

“What happened to you?”

She shakes her head again.

“I don’t remember,” then, “a curse, maybe. On my father. A woman came to our house that night. ‘A payment taken of your most prized possession’, she said. Something about an enemy loved.”

“A curse,” you repeat back. It makes sense. Even if nothing about this makes sense.

You shake your head, focusing on what’s important.

“Don’t worry,” you take her hand. Her palm is butter smooth. “Let’s go home.”

#supercorp #fanfic #supergirl au #crow au #i don't know #i literally don't #this was in my drafts for six months and i finally was like fuck it i'm finishing #i havent written 2nd POV in like one hundred years

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fruitpunchninja101 · 3 years

Text

Flowers For You

After a small spat at the merchants assembly, Levi was determined to avoid Hange and her flower shop at all costs. Unfortunately, The funny thing about trying to avoid someone is that you have to have a rough approximation of their daily routine. And so, his quest began.

Written for LeviHan Eggschange 2021 @levihanweek

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Hello my dear giftee! I’m sorry if your gift took a while! I hope you'd enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed making it. Keep safe!♥

“Every plant can do this fundamental process, and we call this Photosynthesis.”

Cheery voices of kids boomed in celebration as soon as they finished singing.

Ever since summer break started, the flower shop in front of his store started a “Horticulture Camp” for little kids. At first, He didn’t really pay much attention to the cacophony of loud cheers and noises but as days passed, customers would leave little comments like “Sure does sound like a daycare in there.” or “Your neighbor sounds like they're having a lot of fun in there huh?”

The thought about confronting the owner of the flower shop did cross his mind, but there's a little problem, they had a little bit of a spat at the shop keeps assembly last month.

Okay, he'll admit it, maybe It's not just a spat, It's more like a full blown passive aggressive squabble. His memory of the event was a little hazy but he recalled raising his concern about the dried leaves that keeps blowing over his store. Something about her nonchalance about his concern and something about his word choice led to a disastrous mistranslation of what he really wanted to say which somehow escalated to a kerfuffle. "You and Hange will be the hot topic of the whole merchants block for a good while." Erwin warned him after the assembly. Tch! He certainly didn't need that kind of attention.

Since then, Levi kept his distance from that damn flower shop and focused on minding his own business. He is determined to avoid this Hange at all costs! Unfortunately, The funny thing about trying to avoid someone is that you have to have a rough approximation of their daily routine. And so, his quest began.

Hange's schedule was never consistent.

Sometimes she'd open her shop so late that her students would start rough housing by the sidewalk waiting for her arrival. Their parents would wait by her store too and they were seemingly too charmed by her to get annoyed about her tardiness. By the time she gets there the kids would immediately run towards her climbing on her limbs but she never seemed to mind. Those kids eyes would shine so bright at her , he’s pretty sure he’d go blind if he kept on staring at them.

She never seemed to eat lunch for some reason. Sometimes, the son of the deli owner at the corner of their street, Moblit , would come by to bring her food. There was a time when he thought the guy was courting her but he can tell by that sad longing stare he gives at her when he leaves her shop that Hange had no fucking clue about his intentions.

She never brings an umbrella even when it rains. She just runs across the street donning a hoodie. Which she would continue to wear all throughout the day. She’d definitely get sick if she doesn't dry herself up properly. If the rain is still pouring by the time she closes up her store, Hange would spend a good minute to stare at the night sky marveling at the little droplets like its the first time she ever saw one in her life. Nights like that , he would close up a little late to make sure she's gone before he leaves.

Observing her became a routine at this point.

During warm sunny days, she would wear a brightly colored shirt underneath her overalls. Unfortunately, the shirt seemed to be the only thing she changes regularly. He can tell it's the same overalls because it still has all the stains in the same place as the day before. Her best record was 5 days without washing the damned thing and he can't tell if that's impressive or disgusting.

When the kids aren't around, Hange would dote on her plants until late hours of the day. He'd watch her methodically arrange flowers and pour all her love and care to every bouquet she makes. All the while ignoring the fact that she haven't had food at all. ( He knows because Moblit recently got a girlfriend and since then , he only drops by the flower shop to pick up orders for his new love interest.) All he ever see her consume are cups of coffee and not even the good stuff. Just the regular instant kind from the grocery. Days like that , he hopes that she would at least stop by a convenience store to pick up something to eat.

It didn't take too long for him to consider that maybe Hange isn't an asshole at all.She's just one of those people who gets easily preoccupied with things that pique her interest is all. To hell with her health, appearance or even basic cleanliness. Its frustrating but at the same time its a relief to know that underneath all that nuttiness is a seemingly good person.

He was just closing up shop one night when he noticed her still sitting in her store as she practiced playing the Photosynthesis song on her guitar.She was surrounded by an array of beautiful flowers and in that dim light, he could've sworn she looked like a scruffy forest diety.

And it was at that point when he realized that a smile is creeping up his lip. What the fuck was that about?

As if hearing his thoughts, Hange's head perked up from her guitar and turned towards him. He froze as soon as their eyes met. She gave him a tight lipped smile and at that, Panic shot through him. He immediately turned away from her and rushed to turn off the lights and closed his store.

Days after that encounter, Levi had to resist the urge to spare even a peek over her shop. he didn't like that sometimes his mind would wander to images of her that night. He probably overdid his little investigation is all! He had to stop watching her schedule anyway , he had all the information he needs at this point.

However, her presence never seemed to leave him. He'd still overhear the rhythm of her guitar and the rambunctious laughter from her little campers. Even Eld and Gunther are starting to warm up to it. "There's something about the sound of children having fun that puts me at ease." He heard Eld reason out to Gunther the other day. Even Oluo who once mentioned his irritation with the constant singing is starting to absentmindedly hum the damn song.

He's ready to let the whole thing go but when a loud crashing sound (which is probably another pot broken by a child.) caused Petra to make a small uneven line on her work , he knew he had to do something. Even if these type of mistakes are easily fixed, precision is utterly important in his business and he can't have random nuisances ruining his reputation. He'll do it tomorrow. NO! He'll do it tonight! There's no use to delay the inevitable.

Odd enough, he did wonder if she even knew his name.

Tch.

Levi was just closing up his shop that night when he heard someone open the door. Accepting late night jobs Isnt new to him but he did commit to speaking with Hange about his concerns so he let out an absent minded “We're closed” warning before realizing who entered his shop.

It’s her.

She wore an oversized green overalls paired with battered up chucks that he bet was once white. Her brown mop of hair was tied messily up on her head. He didn’t miss the huge ass bouquet tucked in her arm as she struggled to get through his door.

“A little help?” She said, as if they didn’t had a spat that literally had them screaming at each other infront of other people. Levi paused cleaning his tattoo gun and hurried to help her. ”What are you doing here at this hour?” He asked genuinely out of curiosity than irritation.

”I just wanna give you these.” She beamed as she let go of the huge bunch for him to carry inside. “The kids got a little carried away with their flower arrangements today and I’d feel awful if I have to throw it out.” She continued.

“You think dumping this monstrosity to me is the solution?” He asked, immediately regretting his word choice.

“Monstrosity?!”Hange placed her hand on her chest playfully feigning mortification and shock.

He rolled his eyes at her and was a bit surprised that Hange chuckled at him and leisurely walked past him to take a seat at one of the stools by his register and started innocently looking around his shop seemingly waiting on him for a conversation. "Neat place you got here." She said.

"Thanks?" He said genuinely confused what she's doing here. Although, He did wonder if it has something to do with that awkward encounter they had the other night. He really hoped she already forgot about that. “What are these for?” He asked as he opened the cupboards hopelessly trying to look for a vase somewhere in his shop.

“I was gonna ask you for a favor.” She replied.

He scoffed. “what makes you think I’d help you.”

“It’s for a good cause! Plus,I was thinking it’s your opportunity to make up with that whole assembly incident we had.”

He paused and glared daggers at her. She still have that goofy smile on her face. “That dumb assembly incident was not something I want to make up with.” He said stubbornly.

Hange rolled her eyes at him. “Oh please you were angry over a few dried pieces of leaves in front of my store it’s hardly even your business.”

“Your leaves are blowing over my store front so yes it was my business.”

“You know I run a flower shop right? These things happen. I cant just wait outside my store and catch all the falling leaves for your convenience.” Her voice slightly raised as if she’s explaining something so obvious to him. Of course he knows these things happen, he’s not an idiot. All he wants is for her to take responsibility and not be so nonchalant over it.

“You don’t even...” He closed his mouth. She's starting to get a rise from him and it made him queasy. It's not even worth it. He closed his eyes to calm himself.

“Look, the favor isn’t even for me.” She started. Her tone of aggressiveness gone. ”Just hear me out please?” Her voice sounded gentle and warm this time. She’s so hot and cold it’s starting to drive him insane.

He opened his eyes and was met with her brown orbs that shone bright behind her dirty glasses. “Go ahead.” He said defeatedly avoiding her pleading eyes and proceeded to turn back to his cupboard. He should just let her say her piece and move on.

“It’s for one of my campers actually.”

“Hn.Which one? the brunette kid that shouts a lot?”

“Oh you know Eren?”

“He always sticks his snotty face up on my window how can I forget.”

“Yeah, That kid adores you you know , he asked about you and what you guys do here a couple of times before. He even threw fits because he wanted to get a tattoo from you.”

He scoffed. ”How is that my problem?”

”You see, his little friend Armin loved the camp but is a little too shy for his own good. He won’t attend sessions without Eren who sort of refused to attend til you tattoo something on him.”

“So you want me to tattoo a child? ”He turned from his fruitless quest for a vase on his cupboard to raise a brow at her.

“Not a real one, just one of those temporary tattoo stickers.”

He scratched the back of his head and let out a sigh. It would be easier to complain to her about the noise of she owed him some sort of favor. Right? "Alright." He said.

She surged out of her seat and gave out a small yelp startling him. "You'd do it? Really?" Her eyes seemed brighter now.

“Yeah sure." He said as he marveled at how expressive her eyes were. He willed himself to tear his eyes from her damn face. "Is there anything else?” He asked.

“Yes.” She replied enthusiastically.

“You are really pushing your luck here four eyes.”

She chuckled at that and pushed her glasses a bit higher up her nose. ”Don't worry, this one isn't a favor. More like a friendly advice."

He raised a brow at her. "What?"

"Put those in cold water. They'd last longer that way.” She said pointing at the bright colored bouquet at the table which certainly looked out of place against the black and gray interior of his shop.

After exchanging details about their little activity tomorrow, Hange gave him a final enthusiastic wave before taking off his shop leaving him in awe.

Ah. He forgot to mention his noise complaint.

The next day, nine little children were lined up orderly marching up infront of his store led by Hange. She carried a red flag to remind everyone where she is at all times. They all wore a silk screen printed shirt that says plants rule in front and some sort of a plant pun at the back.

Hange's shirt says. 'Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.'

Ah. That was pretty good...and also pretty dumb.

“Are you sure about this boss?” Oluo asked as he worked on a cover up on a customers shoulder.

"No." He answered earing a chuckle from Eld, Gunther and Petra at the back.

"Good Morning Underground Ink!" Hange enthusiastically cheered as she opened the door.

"Keep your voice down four eyes!"

“Oh! Sorry!" She mouthed at him before turning back to her campers. "Kids say good morning to Mr.Ackerman!” She beamed.

“Goodmorning Mister Ackerman!” The kids said in unison in a sing song tune. He gave them a small nod of acknowledgement then proceeded to cut out the temporary tattoo sheet into small pieces. The kids immediately scattered around the store to take a look at the reference books laid on his lounge. He glowered at Hange. "You said they'd behave."

"They would I promise! They're just a bit excited with our little expedition."

"If they break anything, I swear you're gonna pay ten times the price."

"Oh don't be such a grump!" She said slapping his arm. "Ouch! You didn't tell me you work out."

"Tch." He clenched his jaw and focused his eyes on the tattoo sheets he's cutting up. Damn four eyes and her mouth.

"Hey Kids! Gather over here Mr.Ackerman will show you how to put on a tattoo."

“Is this gonna hurt?” Eren innocently asked.

“Not if you’re brave.” He answered. The kid involuntarily recoiled at that. He can tell that Eren's starting to have second thoughts and struggled to put on a brave face. Eren immediately sought out Hange seemingly asking for help and at that, she immediately stepped up and ruffled the kids hair. ”I’ll get my tattoo done first.” Hange hopped on a chair and presented her wrist to Levi.

Levi held her hand to keep her arm steady. His eyes darted at her as if asking her if the touch was permitted and he was met with a sweet smile. He immediately avoided her eyes pushing down the thought of her playing her guitar surrounded by flowers...a scruffy forest diety. he recalled the exact words that formed on his mind that night.

He bit the inside of his cheek to ground himself to reality. Levi held the damp towel against her wrist and she let out a little yelp. He immediately pulled away hoping he didn't press too hard while his mind wandered to silly memories of her the other night. "Gotcha!" Hange teased chuckling at him. "Ass!" he said playfully throwing his towel at her face gaining another laugh from the brunette. The kids huddled around them giggled at them.

"Ms.Hange, What's an ass?" A little girl munching potato chips asked.

"It's another term for a donkey." A small timid blonde kid answered.

"Thats right Armin!Very good!" Hange said. The blonde kid blushed at her praise and glued his eyes on the floor.

"What's a donkey?" Potato chip girl asked again.

"It's like a little horse" Armin answered.

"Why are you calling Ms.Hange a donkey Mr.Ackerman? She doesn't even look like a horse" A kid with shaved head asked.

"...unlike Jean over here." Eren added and a kid with elvish features (which he assumed is Jean) stepped up and hit Eren by the arm. Eren was ready to retaliate when Hange spoke.

"Kids, we promised Mr.Ackerman no rough housing inside the store." Hange reminded them calmly and the kids immediately pulled away from one another.

There was a brief moment of silence and wondering gasps from children around them as he worked on Hange's tattoo.“So does anyone have a question to Mister Ackerman.” He immediately frowned. He said yes to tattooing kids not chatting them up. Nothing would have prepared him for the set of questions that came rushing in after Hange's open invite.

Eren is the last one to get his tattoo. He disinfected his arm with alcohol and his eyes drifted to Hange who was blushing at the sight of a kid adorably putting on a brave face.

Levi had to look away.

At the end of the session,all kids merrily walked back to her shop comparing all their little tattoos. Hange then thanked him for playing along with her little activity.

His whole afternoon was a blur. Between those kids who won't stop asking him and Hange's constant teasing smirks he was out of it. He scrubbed the side of his tattoo gun a little harder.

“I see you put my flowers in a bucket.”

Levi almost dropped his tattoo gun as Hange's merry voice boomed around the shop.

“Its the closest thing I have to a vase.” He said wondering if she’s offended that he chucked her precious flowers on a bucket, but that endearing smile she had on her face says otherwise.

“I had just the thing!” She rushed out of his shop and came back with a huge crystal vase.

“What's that?”

“Its a vase I inherited from my gram-gram.”

“I can see its a vase.”

“Well with the horticulture camp and all I'm scared this would get knocked over and you seem like an organized responsible sort of guy. Maybe you can take care of this for me for a while.”

She’s certainly getting a little too comfortable with favors now. ”What makes you think I wouldn’t knock it over to get back on you for that assembly mess.”

“Because you’re nicer than your letting on.” she says as she procured a small rose from her back pocket and gently tucked its stem behind his ear. He compelled his hand to swat her arm way but his body didn't cooperate. He stood there frozen wondering if she truly was some sort of a scruffy forest deity and she's punishing him from his insolence at that assembly.

Okay, that sounded dumb...What the hell is wrong with him?

"Did the kids asked you to give me this?" He forced himself to reply.

"Nah, That one is from me." She said. Her eyes were bright and her face were slightly flushed. He wondered if he'd never seen anyone look this gallant and handsome before.

"You don't like it?" She asked cocking her head to the side.

"No! I-ah...I'm just..." He stuttered trying to find the right words without sounding pathetic. His hand raised to touch the flower on his ear. He never got flowers before. He felt a smile coming up so he forced a frown.

“Why are you frowning? Don't tell me you're still upset about that assembly thing? I thought were past that?”

“Tch! No were not!” Levi recoiled at how loud his reply was.

”You see, I would be threatened but I just watched you spend your afternoon tattooing a bunch of kids even though you are not paid for it so...Yeah...I guess water under the bridge right?”

“Who says I'm not charging you? I thought you came here to pay up.” He smirked finding calm at her retort.

At that, Hanji laughed. She fucking laughed! The woman even clutched her arms around her stomach and doubled over. She practically radiated with warmth and a familiar sense of home. “Alright you got me, I don’t want to owe you anything so how about a cup of coffee sometime? Although, you seemed to prefer tea”

He scrunched his face. "How do you know I prefer tea?"

"You see, the funny thing about a huge glass storefront window is that, if you can see me, that means I can see you too."

”Wh-What are you on about? I don't...” Fuck! She knows. He internally panicked and wondered what would the appropriate response be.

"Oh calm down! Don't worry, I don't mind you ogling at me." She smirked evidently teasing him.

"Tch. Fuck you four eyes!"

"I wouldn't mind that too." He froze and It didn't take her too long to realize what she said. Her face immediately flushed in a very flattering shade of red. "I'm sorry I got carried away." Hange slightly turned away and tucked a little piece of her hair behind her ear.

He wanted to say something...flirty maybe? But chances are he's gonna run his mouth and say something about him thinking that she was a scruffy forest deity or how he hates that she never opens her store on time or how he knows her best record for not changing jumpsuits is 5 days. So he kept his mouth shut and let silence engulf them.

“Well, I’m next door just in case you wanna take me up for tea. I’ll see you around I guess.”

"Wait!" He called out.

Hange whipped her head to turn to him and he rushed behind the register to grab one of his spare umbrellas he keeps for emergencies. "Take this."

"What for?" She asked scratching the back of her head.

"You'd get sick running around in rain." he said plainly, hoping she didn't find him too creepy.

Levi didn't know it was possible but he swore her eyes shone a little brighter, a small smile is now etched on her face. "See you later Levi." She took one last glance at him lifting an arm to wave as she ran back to her store.

“Later, four eyes.” He whispered beneath his breath and although he felt pleasantly sunny inside, he sensed that he forgot about something...

Ah, he forgot to talk to her about his noise complaint.

#levihan #levihaneggschange2021 #levi ackerman #hange zoe #snk

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sailorshadzter · 3 years

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Prompt: Joffrey reveals himself to be a monster to her towards the start of the stay at Winterfell .Knowing that her parents cant reject the match between herself and the Crown Prince without repercussions,she stages a kidnapping and slips herself into the group heading to the Wall. Maybe she cuts off her hair/dyes her hair/steals some of Brans clothes.Kinda like a Mulan AU I guess?

OOOOOH WOW

this is one of those asks that i have to scroll for a minute to get to!!! but i got to it!!! IM SORRY ITS TAKEN ME SO VERY LONG but inspiration strikes when it strikes. anyways, i might come out with a part 2 / dont tempt me to make this into another au i never finish but man the idea is GOOD.

anyways

i hope it was worth the wait.

As the night begins to dawn, Sansa Stark finds it hard to keep both feet on the ground.

She's lovestruck, falling hard for the golden haired Baratheon prince that's been put before her. With his charming good looks and regal posture, he's enough to make any maiden's heart flutter. In truth, even now with Joffrey and his parents, the King and Queen of the Iron Throne there in her own home, she's finding it hard to believe that she, she, of all people, will be the one to marry the prince. That someday she might be a queen as beautiful as his mother, Cersei Lannister, who smiles so sweetly whenever they meet, who speaks so tenderly, who upon after the betrothal was made official, calls her daughter, as if she so truly were.

"Come my lady, let us take one last walk." It's Joffrey now, bending over his arm in a bow as he approaches where she sits among the other young ladies of Winterfell. They erupt in giggles around her as she blushes to the roots of her hair but nods all the same, reaching out her hand to take his, allowing him to help her up onto her feet. Though she glances towards her mother, who sits engaged in conversation with her father and the King himself, Joffrey tugs on her hand and she can do nothing else besides follow after him. She knows it's inappropriate for her and the prince to sneak off alone like this, but she can't help but to excitedly wonder if he means only to steal her away for a private kiss. Besides, they are to be married in only a few short weeks, so what harm would it do?

They walk together out into the moonlit night, a surprising chill to the air that sends a shiver down her spine. If Joffrey notices, he does not speak on it, rather he continues to lead her through the courtyard where only a handful of guards and nobility mingle. It was astonishing just how many people came along with the King and his family and Sansa isn't certain there would ever be a way to remember all of their names. Along the back, they step into the gardens, the darkening sky pierced by the soft white light of the moon. "I will miss the moonlight of the North," she says as they fall to a stop before the brimming fountain, her lips curving with a smile. "But I suppose I will love it all the more whenever we return."

At her words, Joffrey turns, his expression not one she's seen before. It's not confusion, but rather, it looks like anger. No, it is something far beyond anger, and it frightens her down to her very core. Startled, Sansa begins to stammer an apology, but Joffrey silences her with a wave of his hand. "Return?" He scoffs, looking from her back towards Winterfell and back again. "We'll not be returning here once we leave," he goes on, shaking his head with a scathing sort of laugh that is far more chilling than the wind had been.

"Y-your pardon, I only meant... When we visit..."

"Did you not hear me, my lady... Once we leave here in two days, we shall not be returning. Not you and certainly not me. You will be my queen and you will stay South, where you belong." A strange feeling is creeping up within her; it's cold, it's deep, and it's so very dark. There is something about the way Joffrey says this that she knows it to be true. She realizes then, quite suddenly, that if she leaves with him as intended, she will never again return to Winterfell. She swallows. This isn't right, she thinks, he musn't mean it.

"I know the North is not entirely to your pleasure, but it is my home... I can't imagine never returning," she smiles, hoping her easy going tone is not lost to the shaking of her voice. "You may even grow to enjoy it here, if you give it a chance..." To her horror, Joffrey's hands shoot up and for a single instance, she thinks he means to strike her, but rather he takes hold of her by the upper arms, his grip like a vice. "M-my lord, you're h-hurting me," she whimpers, staring up into Joffrey's blazing eyes.

He leans in close to her, as close as he might have done for the kiss she had once hoped he'd bestow upon her, and breathes a simple reply. "Bid your home farewell, sweetheart, for we ride south in the morning." His grip lessens and then, he lets go entirely, taking a single step back from where she stands. The morning? She thinks, these words sinking in, realizing now that though she'd been told it would be another day before leaving... Evidently, someone had decided that there was no need to stay another night and no one had chosen to tell her. She wonders if this is cruelty on Joffrey's part or kindness of her parents, hoping to spare her the pain of knowing it was her last night home. Either way, it matters not, because she knows there's no way she can go South.

Not ever.

[ x x x ]

As she lays in bed, Sansa can do little else but stare at the ceiling above her bed and wish to be someone else. If she were anybody else, she would not be marrying the prince, and she would not be leaving home. Sansa had tried to explain her feelings to her mother, who had merely laughed and said it was nervous jitters. I had them, too, before I married your father, Cat Stark had said as she brushed out her daughter's hair for bed one last time. The next time she brushed this head of hair, it would be for her wedding day. The longer she spent with her mother that evening, the more Sansa realized she could not simply back out of this wedding. Sansa was not a stupid girl, though Arya might have argued differently, and she knew of the trouble brewing between the families. Between the kingdoms. She's overheard enough whispers and listened to enough speculation between her brothers to know that war was a very real possibility- some said only the good friendship between the Baratheon king and their father was what kept them safe. Sansa also knows, even just from the words spoken during their betrothal, that her marriage with Joffrey solidified the peace between them.

And yet...

The longer she thinks about it, the more she knows that despite it all, she cannot ride South. She knows of the stories, the ones of what happens to Stark men that go to King's Landing... What was stopping something terrible from happening to her as well? There had to be a way, there just had to be a way to free her from this wedding and ultimately, the prison King's Landing was certain to be.

It's just as she's resigning herself to her misery that something comes to her.

One of the stories she had read as a young girl, a story of a princess taken in the dead of night by an evil lord. Said princess was to be rescued by her true love, a shining knight of virtue that rides in on his white horse. And more is coming- it's not just her that is to leave on the morrow- but Jon, as well. Jon, her bastard brother, was being sent to the wall to join the Knight's Watch. He certainly would not be her knight, but if she could somehow slip in among him and the others heading out... Yes, it might possibly work.

But if it's going to work, she must work fast, as she knows the men are set to leave before morning light. And so she leaps from her bed and pulls on her dressing robe. It is late into the night, hours still from the morning call, but there is always the fear of a guard or even her father discovering her out of bed at such an hour. But she says a silent prayer to the Old Gods and then tiptoes from her room.

[ x x x ]

When the morning call comes, she's already gone, a single note hastily scratched in writing she hopes looks entirely unlike her own penmanship.

She's been gone well over an hour by then, for just as she had planned, she manages to slip away among those leaving for the Knight's Watch. With an old cloak draped over her shoulders, she keeps the hood up, shielding from those around her the red hair she's so well known for. Before leaving, she managed to snag some old breeches and shirt from the laundry, and she's braided her hair and tucked it up as much as she could. Luckily for her, she's mostly ignored by the other men, aside from one man who growls at her when she bumps into him halfway into the morning that first day.

The group walks for hours; far longer than she's certainly ever walked at one time. She's tired and she's hungry and she hurts in places she's never hurt before. But, there is a strange sense of warmth comes over her as she settles into a place of her own, away from the others, nearer to the river that runs through the forest. With no knowledge of how to build a fire, Sansa is thankful for the warmth of the summer night and hungry as she is, realizes she's far more tired than anything else. After a sleepless night and endless walking, she will forgo food if only it means she can sleep.

And so she wanders closer to the water's edge, where there beneath the canopy of darkness, she finally lowers her hood.

From where he watches, Jon finds himself intrigued by what he sees.

He can't really say what draws him to follow the hooded figure out to the river beyond simple curioisity. But now as he watches, he sees hands pulling what certainly must be pins from hair and to his shock, long hair comes tumbling down. Now he's really curious.

And just then, a cloud above them shifts and the moonlight illuminates her.

The red hair is vibrant, the pale moonlight weaving between the strands like ribbons. He's stunned, but his foot snaps a twig all the same. When she whips around, it's steel blue eyes he finds himself staring into and Jon wonders, despite sixteen years beneath the same roof as her, he's never noticed that look within her eyes. "Sansa..." Her name is on his lips before he can stop it and he realizes now that she is quite like a deer in the crosshairs, a creature torn between fight and flight.

She can't believe this.

Her fleeting sense of safety has fled, vanished into the night the moment those Stark gray eyes settled upon her. Of course, she can't now understand how she ever expected to avoid Jon forever, but she had hoped to at least be further out than this when they did meet. "Jon," she greets, taking a step away from the river and closer to where he stands. The moonlight is bright and it illuminates Jon in a way that makes her blink, makes her think. "Please..." It's the only plea she can offer, the only words that in this moment, seem right to say.

Jon studies her for a long moment; all things considered, she must have had a good reason to come. Sansa Stark wasn't the type to just... Throw it all away without a reason. Her dream of marriage to a prince was to come true, after all. Her golden haired Prince Joffrey had arrived in Winterfell only days before; a smug, ugly sort of kid that had grown tall, taller than even Robb, but one that had stolen Sansa's heart all the same. Jon wonders what could have made her do what she'd done. "I won't," he promises suddenly, earnestly.

Her face relaxes, she smiles.

She feels safe once again and it is far warmer than it was before.

#jonsa #actuallyjonsa #ask box prompts #i really could write more for this #my writing

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