#my agenda is that they stream more together

[cleo-fox]

Daylight

Summary: Despite your best efforts, Sunday morning doesn’t go as planned…and you couldn’t be happier about it.

Pairings: Loki x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, shower sex, fingering, vaginal sex, soft sex, sex that causes you to be several hours late for work, Loki being a (respectful) horn dog.

Series: Overtime (I don't have a masterlist for this yet, but the first fic is here). A/N: This started out as a scene in Overtime that kind of took on a life of its own. You don't necessarily need to read Overtime in order to enjoy or understand this fic, but you'll have more context if you do. Anyway, it was fun revisiting these two idiots--I've got a few more ideas for them up my sleeve, so there will be more in this series at some point.

The sunlight wakes you the next morning.

It’s the same sunlight as always, but it looks different coming through Loki’s window and streaming across his bed. It looks better, you think, splashed across his sheets.

Or maybe it’s the addition of your hand clasped with his resting on those same sheets. Or perhaps it’s the sight of your clothes and his, discarded on the bedroom floor in a pool of sunlight, combined with the fact that you’re still wrapped in his arms. Maybe all of that is why it seems better.

That seems more likely.

You lie still for a moment, simply enjoying the feeling of his arms and the heat of his skin against your bare back. You are reasonably certain he’s asleep from the steady rhythm of his breath on your neck, but you’re not about to disturb the sleepy calm of the morning to confirm that. 

The clock on his bedside table says it’s just after six. Before last night, you would have said that this was a reasonable time to get up—early enough to ensure that you’re in the office by eight, which would hopefully give you enough time to meet this evening’s deadline, but not so early that it makes you question your life and your choices.

But that was before. Now…well. You suddenly find that your priorities look very different from the comfort of Loki’s bed.

You decide that you didn’t really see the clock. Neither one of you thought to set an alarm last night. Sleeping in was inevitable. That’s not your fault. No harm, no foul.

You close your eyes and allow yourself to fall into a light doze, warmed by the sunlight and Loki’s embrace.

Sometime later, you’re woken by the soft brush of a kiss against your neck.

“Did you sleep well?” he murmurs against your neck.

“Yes, though I did have a bit of a late night,” you say. “Someone kept me up.”

“Really? That was rude of him.”

“Very.”

He’s noticeably—achingly—hard. His lips brush against your neck again. “Perhaps he might make it up to you?”

Your intention is to open your eyes, roll over, and allow yourself to be ravished. But in a development you can only describe as tragic, you happen to catch sight of the clock on his nightstand.

7:38 am.

“Shit,” you say. “It’s almost eight.”

Loki is predictably unconcerned about this. “We don’t have any official hours to keep,” he says, his hand skimming along your ribs and down the curve of your waist. “We have all day.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got a ton more to do,” you say, trying to ignore how good he is at kissing your neck or how his hand is drifting down your hip toward the aching pulse between your legs. “We really need every minute.”

“That is true,” he says solemnly. “Perhaps we ought shower together to save time.”

You can’t help but smile. “I kind of feel like you have another agenda.”

“I’d never,” he says.

“The raging hard on pressing against my ass would suggest otherwise.”

You can almost hear him smirk as he gives his hips a teasing little thrust against you. “I contain multitudes.”

You wiggle out of his embrace and slip out of bed. You intend to look back and give him a coquettish look and say something sharp and teasing, but instead, the sight of him takes your breath away. He leans back on his elbows, looking everything like the sort of lounging god you would see depicted in marble at the Parthenon, all chiseled, sharp muscles and clean lines. His cock stands fully erect and deliciously thick, flushed with wanting.

“I can’t help but notice that you didn’t reject the offer,” he says, seemingly fully aware of the path of your gaze. His hand drops to his cock and he strokes himself casually, which very nearly sends your sprinting back to bed.

“You’re right,” you say, trying to keep your cool as you throw him your most beguiling look. “So you should probably hurry up.”

You turn and start walking toward the master bathroom. You don’t need to look over your shoulder to know he’s following you, his gaze hungrily devouring every inch of skin, eyes dark with purpose.

You walk into the master bathroom and are immediately confronted by several flagrant violations of the residential handbook. The TVA is many things, but it is not the sort of place that deviates from set floor plans, nor is it the sort of place that deviates from those plans to install a rainfall shower and soaking tub—in marble, no less.

You think of the stark, vaguely institutional aesthetic in your own master bath and you can’t decide if you’re annoyed at his rule breaking or jealous that he could get away with it.

“I’m not even going to ask if you got approval for this setup because I know you didn’t,” you say as you reach in to the shower to turn on the tap.

“Do you think of anything other than that cursed personnel manual?” he asks as he comes up behind you, his arms snaking around your waist and his lips again finding your neck as he draws you to him.

“First of all, it’s not the personnel manual, it’s the residential handbook, which you specifically agreed to abide by when you signed off on your lease.”

He turns you around so you face him and draws you close, a wicked gleam in his eye, “Oh, I’m going to make you forget all about those ridiculous rules.”

“That’s a pretty tall order—oh.”

His hand is slipping between your legs, stroking your already slick folds.

“I think I’m quite capable of inspiring other passions,” he says, rolling his fingers in a broad circle over the hood of your clit

You loop your arms around his shoulders. You can already feel your knees starting to tremble, but you know he won’t let you fall.

“Bold claim,” you say, “I’m going to need more evidence.”

“Oh, you’re going to get a lot of evidence,” he says softly. He curls a finger inside of you, pressing his thumb against the hood of your clit. “You will have no doubts by the time I’m done presenting my argument. You will be weak-kneed with evidence.”

You shudder as he rocks his hand slowly. He’s touching you enough to stoke the flames of desire, making your hips rock helplessly toward his hand as you try to create that extra friction and pressure that you know will send you flying over the edge. But Loki is meticulous—perhaps even ruthless—about not giving in. 

“Not yet,” he murmurs softly when your latest attempt is thwarted. “Slowly.”

Your pleas become louder and more frequent, but his answer remains the same: slowly. You whimper and beg, but he is resolute.

Steam has fogged up the mirrors and is curling around you when your orgasm finally begins to crest. You suddenly find yourself grateful for his pacing as the intensity builds to a level that makes your knees shake.

“That’s it,” he breathes as you tremble in his arms. “You can come for me now, lovely.”

Like magic, the coil inside you snaps at his command and you cry out as your cunt shudders around his slowly thrusting fingers. Your arms looped around his shoulders are the only thing keeping you standing.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss against your temple as you sag against him. “Beautiful.”

He gives you a moment to get your bearings before leading you into the shower. He sits down on the marble bench, spreading his thighs wide and pulling you into his lap so you straddle his hips. The spray of the water hits your back as he kisses you again, slow and hungry.

You love everything about this. The heat of the water on your back. The closeness. The way his thighs are spread wide. How his cock presses against your bare cunt. The noise he makes low in his throat when you start rubbing yourself against him.

“Need you,” he mumbles against your neck. His hands squeeze your hips and you reach between the two of you to line his cock up at your entrance.

It occurs to you that you could take the opportunity to tease him, to make him beg for you, but pretending that you have any control over your aching need for him is several degrees beyond impossible. So instead, you slowly ease yourself down onto his cock while he groans against your neck, dragging his lips down to the curve of your shoulder.

The feeling of him inside you is still so new that it feels just a little unreal. After all that wanting and yearning and thinking that he was too handsome, too divine, too out of reach to have, he’s suddenly yours and it’s absolutely dizzying. 

You pause for a moment, eyes closed, savoring the feeling of unyielding fullness, of connection. Of him.

“All right?” he asks softly.

You open your eyes and his look of sweet concern makes your heart swell. “Yeah,” you say, a lazy, satisfied smile tugging at your lips. “I just—I needed a moment. You feel—” You pause for a moment, searching for the right words, sifting through the effusive and flowery and the things that are true but too early to say. “You just feel really good,” you say.

It sounds wildly inadequate, but he seems to understand, to hear all of the unsaid parts that you’re keeping close to your heart. He could turn away, say it’s too much too soon, that you haven’t even said what you are yet, much less committed to anything serious, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leans forward, drawing you into a slow kiss, his hands framing your face, tracing the curve of your cheek and jaw with the kind of reverence that makes you want to say everything you feel.

“You’re perfect.” He says it in between breaths, with such a disarming sincerity that you can’t bring yourself to try and deflect, to name a flaw or even make a joke.

Later, he will tell you that he was struggling with a similar battle, trying to reconcile how new this was with the depth of feeling that was already blossoming in his chest. He will tell you later that he couldn’t believe you were his, just as you couldn’t believe he was yours, that there was something about you that felt right in a way that made him feel like he knew even then.

But right now, he simply kisses you with a fervor that makes your toes curl and your hips start to move.

It’s only the second time that you’ve done this, but there’s a strange blend of both the new and the familiar. The shape and feel of his body pressed against yours is new, but the way that he moves, the way that he touches you is as though he’s loved you for centuries.

The rhythm you fall into is slow, despite the excuse that this shower was to save time. His hand slides down your stomach, his fingers finding your clit to add another layer of bliss to the feeling of his cock inside you. Despite your slow pace, your ascent rushes in fast and brilliant as a comet blazing through the night sky. Your back arches, almost as though you’re presenting yourself as an offering to him as you come undone in his arms. Loki watches you with a kind of breathless wonder, brow furrowing in pleasure, his lower lip caught between his teeth at the tight clench of your cunt around his cock.

Your legs are rubbery with pleasure, but you keep going because you need his release as much as your own. You need to feel him empty himself inside of you, to hear the low groan he makes as he unravels, to see the way his eyes flutter shut. You want crescent moon marks on your hips from where his hands gripped you too tightly in that final ascent, physical proof that you can make not just a god forget himself, but Loki specifically. Loki with all his masks and tricks and artful poise; Loki laid bare below you, free from all artifice and glibness, raw and real and just as he is. All the parts of him that make you think that down this path lies something wonderful (not that you’re ready to call it love. Yet).

But Loki is nothing if not predictably unpredictable and he seems determined to make you work before granting you that little glimpse at the heaven that is the god of mischief coming undone beneath you.

“Let me feel you come again,” he murmurs as soon as you catch your breath.

“Is once not enough?” you say, trying and failing to sound cool and calm, like you’re not completely wrecked for him.

“Hardly.” His eyes flash in a way that makes you shiver as he urges your hips into a faster rhythm. “I am not so easily satisfied when my need has been so great.”

You can feel the coil in your hips beginning to tighten again.

“I’ve burned for you for years, my love,” he says, his voice going a little shaky. “Would you deny water to a man dying of thirst?”

You shake your head, your words lost to the oncoming wave of your undoing.

“Then do not deny me your pleasure, I am desperate for you.” He’s panting, barely holding on to his composure. “Now come for me again, let me feel you.”

You are so far gone that it only takes a few more strokes to make you come undone and the first shudder of your climax takes Loki with you.

You savor his pleasure more than your own release, memorizing the sound he makes, the way his lips form a silent plea in the shape of your name until he slides a hand up your neck and pulls you down to kiss him.

His kiss is fierce and hungry at first, but it ebbs to something slower and sweeter as he empties himself into you. He sighs as you tangle your fingers in the wet tendrils of his hair.

It’s a long moment later when you finally break the kiss, resting your forehead against his.

“I don’t think we saved any time,” you say.

He doesn’t even open his eyes. “I cannot overemphasize how much I do not care about being late in these circumstances.”

You grin. “Not even a little?”

He kisses you sweetly on the mouth before opening his eyes, his lips curling into a slow and satisfied smile. “I would be late every day for the rest of my life for just a few seconds of that.”

His words spark something warm in your chest and you try to hide it with a wry look. “I’m not sure that you’re getting the better end of the deal.”

He kisses you softly. “You don’t know how good you feel.”

“You’re one to talk,” you murmur against his lips and he smiles as he deepens the kiss.

The warmth of his body pressed against yours and the feeling of him smiling as he kisses you is a kind of luxury you’ve never imagined. It takes you a while to untangle yourselves, but you can’t find it in yourself to move any faster.

The actual showering part of your shower is slow and unhurried and you find that Loki’s hands are equally gifted at these mundane tasks. His fingers have a knack for finding every stubborn knot in your neck and shoulders, which he explores leisurely under the pretext of washing your back. The press of his fingers unwinds the tension in your shoulders, loosening up muscles that have been too tense for too long.

“You are way too good at this,” you say.

“Just one of my many talents,” he says, dropping a kiss on your shoulder. “Though perhaps I ought to stop—I wouldn’t want to make you late.”

“I’m so relaxed I’m going to ignore that little bit of sass.”

He chuckles against your shoulder. “You’ll forgive me.”

“We’ll see.”

The sweet, almost chaste kisses he’s been pressing against your neck and shoulders are gradually growing slower, more insistent. When you feel the tip of his tongue draw a quick, teasing line on your neck, you know that you might be in trouble.

His hands slide to your waist, drawing you close enough that you can feel that he’s hard again. 

“I’m sensing some ulterior motives,” you say.

“A bold accusation,” he mumbles against your neck, pressing himself more firmly against you.

“We can’t have sex again,” you laugh.

“Mmm, we could,” he says in between kisses. “There’s nothing stopping us from having sex again.”

“We are already running late—”

“I thought I was very clear about my feelings on timeliness in these circumstances.” He nips at your earlobe and you shiver. “And would you really deprive me of the utter bliss of coming undone inside you?”

“It’s more like rescheduling than depriving you of anything.”

“I’ve waited so long, darling.”

“We just had sex like…less than an hour ago,” you say through a laugh.

“Ah, but the days before that were so terribly long,” he says.

You turn to face him, thinking this will make things easier for you. This turns out to be a grave miscalculation because now you have to contend with the fire in his eyes and the twin flame that it summons low in your hips.

Fuck. 

You are definitely going to have sex again.

His eyes glitter like he knows and he slowly walks you backwards until you’re pressed between him and the shower wall.

“You are absolutely incorrigible,” you say as he peppers your neck with slow, decadent kisses. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“Funnily enough, I don’t think you’ll be complaining about my mouth in about thirty seconds.”

And with a wicked and hungry grin, he slowly sinks to his knees.

It’s 10:48am when you finally walk into the office.

Even though you are now several hours later than you intended and the stack of files is no less imposing, you feel nothing but a pleasant glow of happiness as you take your seat. Loki sits down in the chair next to you and this time, he sneaks his foot underneath your desk and hooks his ankle under yours.

He catches your eye and smiles. “I can be a little more obvious now.”

You put on your most exaggerated expression of mock seriousness. “Only a little. This is a workplace, after all.”

He adopts a similar expression and nods. “Of course. I imagine there will be paperwork as well.”

“There actually is a form we’ll need to file with HR,” you say.

Loki frowns. “Wait, you’re not being serious about that, are you?”

“Yep. We’ll need to file it by next Friday.”

He sighs and throws his hands up in the air. “Is there anything that this place hasn’t managed to weigh down with the burden of unnecessary bureaucracy?”

“I see we’re in a good mood this morning.” Mobius has arrived, cup of coffee in hand. He nods at Loki and looks at you. “How long has he been raging against the machine?”

“Not terribly long,” you say as Loki rolls his eyes.

“It’s not raging against anything,” he says. “I just fail to see the point of some of this organization’s operational practices.”

Mobius raises an eyebrow at you. “You told him he has to fill out a form, huh?”

“Got it in one,” you say as Loki scowls.

Mobius chuckles and takes a sip of coffee. “You should hear him during performance evaluation season. I get entire monologues. It’s like Hamlet meets HR.”

Loki’s scowl deepens and you have to bite the inside of your cheek in order not to laugh.

“It looks like you made good progress, though,” says Mobius, looking at your completed stacks of files. “I took a look at what you pulled earlier this morning and there’s some good stuff.”

“Oh, good,” you say, hoping he doesn’t think much of the fact that neither one of you was in the office earlier this morning. “What time do you think you’ll need the rest done?”

“Right, about that,” says Mobius. You steel yourself for bad news. “I took a look at what you pulled so far and I think I’ve got what I need.”

You blink at him. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, you’re off the hook,” he says. “Go enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

You look at Loki, who looks just as pleasantly surprised as you feel.

“In fact, you can take the rest of the week off,” says Mobius. “Triple overtime, right? You earned the time.” 

“This feels like a trick,” says Loki. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch,” says Mobius. “You did good work.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “However—”

“And there’s the catch,” says Loki.

“There’s no catch,” says Mobius. He gestures at you with his coffee cup. “I’m just going to need you both to turn in the relevant paperwork to HR by next Friday.”

Loki sighs, though you can tell he’s fighting a smile. “There’s absolutely no privacy here.”

Mobius raises his eyebrows. “You’re playing footsie under the desk. It’s not exactly rocket science.”

You look at Loki and shrug. “He’s got a point.”

“You’re taking his side?”

You roll your eyes and stand up. “Well, you can sulk about it if you’d like, but I’m going to go enjoy the rest of my weekend.” You share a sly, secret smile with Mobius. “I’ll see you next week, Mobius.”

It takes Loki approximately twenty seconds to catch up with you.

“And you say I’m incorrigible,” he says as he falls into step beside you.

You smile at him. “I think you’ll get over it.”

“I’ll consider it.” He catches your band, fingers twining with yours. “What are your plans for the rest of the week?”

“Hadn’t decided,” you say, biting back a smile. “Did you have any suggestions?”

“Well, I’d like to start by going back to bed.”

“To sleep?” you tease. 

“Eventually.” He licks his lips. “And since our respective schedules have been cleared for the week, we’ll be able to take our time.”

The hunger in his eyes is still so new and intoxicating that you can’t help the shiver that works its way up your spine.

You give him a slow smile. “Lead the way.”

#loki smut #loki x reader smut #loki x reader #loki laufeyson smut #loki x female reader #loki x female reader smut #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #tva loki x reader #overtime series

[spiderlandry]

this is eclipse — neteyam sully

Description: The golden child is reduced to a nervous mess all because of a fierce hunter from the Metkayina clan.

Pairing: Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan x GN!Reader

Warnings/Tags: fluff, talks of courting/mating, maybe timeline inaccuracy? impulsively written at 3am and unedited so apologies for any mistakes

Word Count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: spreading the loona agenda with this title so don’t forget to stream OEC’s new comeback and also a reminder not to stream any music owned by blockberry <333

The waves crash against the shore, pushing and pulling. The sand digs into your thighs and hands. The light of the sun dwindles as the eclipse blankets Awa’atlu in darkness, the glow of the sea finally threatening to come out at dusk.

You’ve been alone for a while. An hour, maybe. But a familiar shadow looms behind you.

“Are you just going to stand there?” You ask him.

Lo’ak clears his throat, clearly surprised at having been caught. It’s not even that you’d seen his shadow—you felt his presence from his breath alone.

“Um—no. Sorry.” He tentatively steps beside you, lowering himself to sit criss-cross.

“Do you have a reason why you were just standing behind me?”

You can tell he’s a little scared. Of what, you don’t know. These few months you’d welcomed them into your home, assisted your friend Tsireya in helping the Sully family get settled. You have been nothing but kind, albeit reserved. So maybe Lo’ak reads the confusion on your face when he’s suddenly nervous.

“I just wanted to ask you something,” Lo’ak states with a layer of reluctance he’s trying to mask.

You stay silent.

“Are you…being courted by anyone?”

You resist the urge to snap your head in his direction, instead opting to turn your head slowly.

“Does Tsireya know you’re asking me this?“

You’re not a fool—you’ve seen them sneak off together at dawn a few times this month.

“Yeah. I mean…no. But I’m not asking for me,” he stumbles out his response, a little shocked that you’d noticed his ‘thing’ with Tsireya.

“Whom are you asking for?”

“Um…” He hesitates, “My brother.”

Ah. Neteyam. You’re not strangers. You helped him with his ilu, you remember his eagerness vividly. And how secretly proud he was after Lo’ak said he bonded with a tulkun, despite his teasing. You look out into the sea again, formulating a response.

“If your brother wishes to court me, he can ask me himself.”

You stand up, dusting sand off your body, leaving Lo’ak with a grimace and a thought that he might have just blown his brothers chances.

-

Upon arriving at Awa’atlu, Neteyam’s eyes had been drawn to you the second you emerged from your people, standing out as a graceful presence rather than a cautious stranger. He recalls how you watched his family ask for sanctuary with only a careful gaze rather than with any semblance of disgust like the others did.

His infatuation with you only grew tenfold when you were assigned to help the Tsireya and Ao’nung with getting the family to learn the ways of Metkayina. At first, he thought you were the eldest child of Tonowari and Ronal by how they treated you with such respect, but he was proven wrong when the leader said your families are just close.

You helped him focus on his breathing, tapping him lightly when he would get distracted with teasing Lo’ak about Tsireya.

He thinks the infatuation turned into something else—something more—when he really saw you in your element.

It turns out, you come from a long line of fierce hunters. Tsireya said that you’re one of the youngest to have completed Iknimaya a few years ago, and your grandfather taught Tonowari how to hunt. Neteyam’s heart deflated at the thought that you were likely already being courted, if not mated.

A few months into learning, you offered to take Neteyam hunting beyond the reef. Seeing as he was mastering his skills quickly, you’d been granted a pass from the leaders to show the oldest Sully what happens beyond the reef, partly to show him the dangers, a warning not to go out there unless he is with an experienced hunter, as you are.

He watched from his ilu as you navigated the complicated terrain that was the sea, weaving your body through corals and seaweeds.

Though you didn’t stay for long, you brought back a decent amount for the clan.

Needless to say, he couldn’t get enough of you after that.

He begins to observe you even more, since the training load had been lightened, he would allow himself to focus on how you carry yourself around your people.

He knows you’re reserved around the Sully family. A day after their arrival, you barely said two sentences to Neytiri, letting the basket of gathered fruits speak for itself as a welcome gift rather than using your words.

However, the way you act around your own people is different. It’s not surprising to him that you’re popular, often kids huddle around you during the start of celebrations to hear about hunting stories you’d inherited from your family. He notices men and women your age make conversation, and older clan members hold respect for you. Hell, even Ao‘nung backed off with a nod when you warned him about his teasing.

But what really got him was seeing how you opened up to his family.

During the fifth month, your parents, along with many others, had gone on a long hunting trip for the upcoming cold season.

He wonders why you stayed back, as Rotxo offhandedly mentioned that you typically went on these trips. Neteyam doesn’t care, though, because that means he gets to see more of you.

With your parents away, you find more time to get to know the Sully’s past teaching them about Metkayina life.

He finds you playing with Tuk, even introducing her to other kids in the clan, and his chest swells with pride as he watches his little sister feel more at home. Later, he spots you talking to Kiri, and she looks genuinely engrossed in the conversation.

There is nothing more he’d like than to begin courting you. But the problem is that he doesn’t even know if you’re available. What if you’re already mated?

He ends up regretting voicing these thoughts to Lo’ak in a small rant—because the day after the conversation, Lo’ak comes running to him, apologetic, saying that he might have made you mad.

“Why would they be mad?” Neteyam asks.

“Because!” Lo’ak shrugs, and the older brother has that face saying spit it out. So he does. “I told them that you were interested.”

Neteyam’s eyes widen, and for a moment Lo’ak is scared that he’s about to get a light smack in the head, but it seems Neteyam is too concerned with running to your marui, so he’s safe. (For now.)

Neteyam slows down a few feet from your home, catching his breath. The flap is open, and he can hear a fire crackling inside. It’s almost dinner.

He hesitates, stepping closer to the entryway of your marui. You’re chopping vegetables, and you don’t realize he is there. He hovers. You’re too focused to hear him.

But he’s wrong.

“You know,” You begin, and Neteyam is taken aback. “It is customary to announce your presence upon entering someone’s home.”

He clears his throat a bit too loud for it to be real. You both know it’s fake. Yet you don’t look up to him with any hints of dissatisfaction on your face—no, it’s the opposite. There’s a smirk lingering on your pretty lips. (Get it together, Neteyam! You need to apologize, he thinks to himself.)

“Does the sneaking run in the family?” You tease, talking with the knife in your hands and gesturing to him. “It is the second time that’s happened.”

“I—I’m sorry,” he bows his head slightly, ears pinned against his skull in embarrassment. If any of his siblings were here to see, he just knows the jokes would be unbearable.

You manage to reduce him to a bumbling mess. Well, as much a mess as the golden child could be.

“Why are you sorry?” You ask, and at first he thinks you’re doing it to test him, but when he looks into your eyes and finds only curiosity, he answers.

“For sneaking up on you. And for Lo’ak bothering you about my interest.”

“Wait—“ You hold back a laugh, putting down the knife and clambering up to stand close to him. His breath hitches. “I was only teasing you. And Lo’ak was not a bother to me.” You shake your head, confused.

“He…he thinks he might have made you angry.” Neteyam is a little quiet, but his eye contact does not yield. Neither does yours.

“I wasn’t angry. I just wanted you to ask me about courting matter, not your brother.”

“He asked without my permission, please understand.” As the words register in his brain, his jaw slackens. “You—you want me to ask you?”

“Is that not how your people do it?”

“It is, it is. But I thought…you might have already been promised. To someone.” He searches your eyes for something, anything.

“I am flattered you think that, Teyam. But I’m not.”

His tail swishes in excitement at the nickname. No matter how embarrassing you may think it to be, he just can’t help the way his body reacts to you.

(You think it’s cute.)

“So?” You continue at his silence.

“I would like that. To court you, I mean.”

The smirk on your lips morphs into a genuine smile and he mirrors your expression, the two of you gazing into each other’s eyes like nothing else mattered.

A small pop of the fire snaps you out of the trance, and he glances at the empty marui. Right. You’d been alone for a while.

The question is stumbling out of his mouth before he can realize its implications:

“Would you like to eat with my family?”

But surprisingly, you don’t falter, “I was hoping you’d ask.”

#neteyam sully #neteyam sully x reader #avatar the way of water #atwow #avatar #atwow x reader #avatar the way of water x reader #avatar x reader #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam fluff #neteyam sully fluff

[azaliyas]

summary : after studying the guitar since you were a kid, you were now ready to start a band and let your music be known to the big public. thanks to an online announcement you posted, you found him as your bandmate.

word count : [ to be added later ]

genre : modern au, fluff.

cw / tw : mentions of drinking.

characters : 6reeze boys.

note : had to change the order because of the way i keep my posts in order, sorry for the inconvenience ^^;

aether — the keyboardist

if you had to describe aether in one word, it would have been "puppy", always so cheerful and easy-going. it was easy to befriend him after you guys met for the first time for a trial rehearsal and see if you two could work well together. his friendly and kind personality had you, too, smile brightly at him. and that pulled his heartstrings in a way he had never experienced before.

his slender fingers, you were sure of that, were blessed with a talent and a discipline you have seen in such a few people it was more unique than rare. the keyboard really came to life whenever he played, each note an arrow going straight to your fans' hearts. he had this natural charm that draw people to him to watch closer, and staying to have more.

aether was kind with everyone, but with you, he was such a gentleman, always ready to come to your aid even outside your music business. he was your dearest friend, the person you held in high regard, and the same was for him. he couldn't help the fondness in his voice when talking about you, be it with his friends or fans he met in the streets, a special kindness enveloped your name every time it left his lips.

of course, fans were quick to catch up on it and start spreading the "y/n x aether" agenda, heart-shaped eyes looking at every little interaction between you and the blonde guy, be it off stage or, more often, on stage, when his golden eyes were glued on your form, following you around, his voice soft and tender while singing his parts.

ah, but it was such a shame you didn't notice any of this. how wonderful would it have been, dating you, call you his significant other, his lover, the one he oh so tenderly loved and cherished... but that had to wait. he had to make you aware of his feelings in a less direct way first in order to see if you too felt the same way as him. but until then, he was happy even with just holding you close to his chest after another night of successful concerts, sleeping soundly on his lap.

just wait a little longer for him, will you?

heizou — the dj

you weren't exactly a fan of electronic music or whatever kind they played in nightclubs and similar places, but after meeting heizou, you had a change of heart.

the maroon-haired guy was like a tornado, strong and passionate and unstoppable when his mind was set on something. and that something was forming a duo with you and have your music climbing the charts. he surely was ambitious, but you didn't mind, he got the spirits and that was what was important to you.

with heizou's influence your music grew artistically and in terms of listeners on the major streaming platforms, thanks to his fame as an already well-known dj and a few semi-important collabs he had. from covers to mix-ups to original music, your virtual library grew exponentially. you two featured in many playlists, sometimes even those ai-generated, or the most mainstream ones along with much more famous artists. and you were the center of it.

heizou did whatever was in his power to have you in the spotlight, always talking so fondly of you fans couldn't help it but start shipping you two. and how could they not, when every single damn occasion was as good for him to mention your name.

but you were pretty dense, weren't you? thinking it was just for advertising purposes, his shameless flirting for you, but if he did that only with you, then why weren't you catching on his attempts?

a shame, truly, because you two looked so good together, have it in real life or in the numerous pics of you guys circulating on the internet. but fret not, heizou was confident you would eventually fall for him one day, he could have you in his arms even in a romantic sense, and not only literally, like right now, while he was carrying you in your bedroom after he found you asleep on the couch of your shared apartment.

working late into the night wasn't for you, you know?

kazuha — the bassist

the first time you met kazuha, the impression he left you was quite strong despite his calm, comforting aura. maybe it was right because of that aura of his, such an opposite to his on-stage self, wild and crazy, a side of him only during concerts you were able to see. his fingers were rough on the bass chords, plucking them with harsh strength to keep up with the exciting and fast music you composed together, going so far he had to wear bandages to avoid hurting his fingers.

off-stage, on the other hand, kazuha usually kept to himself, notebook and pen by his side, writing poetry and lyrics. having him around you was like walking on the clouds, feeling so warm and comfortable. and he felt the same with you, so of course your relationship bloomed outside of music, becoming friends.

the white-haired boy was such a softie he had you cooing over him like most of your fans, although they did so both for him and for the romantic relationship they thought you guys were in. and no one could blame them to think so, with how kazuha seemed to have eyes for you only, or with how he was glued to your hip when on stage, foreheads pressed together while playing, lips inches away with only a microphone stopping him from kissing you — the crowd surely wouldn't have complained.

kazuha didn't hide the bluntness of his feelings, but he never explicitly said he was in love with you either. it was in the loving embrace you were always welcomed in, the gentle touches of his fingers littering on your skin, in the quiet voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear while asleep, hoping to give you pleasant dreams.

one day, kazuha told himself, he would have been able to tell you such words while you were awake, not sleeping clinging to his side, hands around his waist and one of his was in your soft hair.

one day, his muse shall know the truth.

venti — the singer

although venti wasn't exactly your usual rock singer, he quickly adapted to your style, but so you did to his. this perfect molding brought you two leaning towards a kind of rock music with classical and ballad influences, creating quite the sub-genre per se. and your growing fans seemed to particularly appreciate such fresh and new stuff.

over the years venti grew quite fond of you and viceversa, so much you two became each other's closest friend. your chemistry was something you didn't get to experience every day, and whoever got to know you and him knew that at first glance.

he was a playful and flirty friend, bringing that same behaviour on stage, knowing way too well it had your fans swooning over him — or maybe on you two, since this flirty behaviour of his was mostly directed at you. arm snaking around you, or cheeks pressed together, or foreheads resting on each other, the boy always managed to have contact with you while his sweet voice echoed in the hall along your guitar. touchy, but you didn't mind, that was his persona after all.

or wasn't it?

off stage venti was calmer, but still always seeking your companionship, almost as if you were his cuddly teddy bear. what you didn't know was that it was his way to have you close, to push away those who tried to flirt with you, to satiate the love he had for you.

yes, venti loved you, dearly, deeply, but most of all quietly. he knew you saw him as a friend only, a dear one, but a friend nonetheless. this knowledge had his heart ache, but he was resolute in not letting you know about his feelings, ever. otherwise, he feared he wouldn't have been able to hold you like this, your head in the crook of his neck and his arms around your waist as you slept, ever again.

you were everything, he couldn't possibly let you go.

wanderer — the drummer

kunikuzushi, known as "scaramouche" (from his previous membership in another band) or "wanderer" (adopted for his solo career), wasn't actually the bandmate you would normally expect. sure, he was one hella good of a drummer and his previous fame helped yours skyrocketing, but except for this he wasn't particularly inclined in dealing with you outside music business.

of course, you weren't expecting to become best friend with the indigo-haired boy, but at least a relationship of close acquaintances was the least, in your opinion. you thought that his "bad boy" persona was just a facade for the fans, but his coldness toward you sometimes had you second guessing.

all of this changed whenever you two were inside the studio or, more often, on the stage. there, kunikuzushi seemed to turn into a totally different person. his deep and raw voice would draw your attention to him, eyes locked together singing at the top of your lungs, music blasting all around you.

what you didn't know, however, was that kuni held such contrasting behaviours toward you for a single, simple, yet stupid reason: he was in love with you. a deep, warming love that swelled in the depths of his heart, away from your knowledge.

loving you inspired him to write those tooth-rooting kind of songs you seemed to like, but they were too obvious regarding your persona to be sang in front of a crowd. he poured his heart in those lyrics, they were personal, for him only — no, not even you.

all the years he spent wearing that stupid "bad boy" mask convinced him he was, indeed, not good enough for a serious relationship so, how could he enter one with you?it was better to leave you alone, but your figure sleeping soundly by his side after another night of concerts, snuggling against him for warmth in that cool night, was giving him a hard time doing so.

you were such a temptation.

xiao — the guitarist

when posting that announcement for a band member, surely you didn't think you'd meet "alatus", a guitarist with a well-known reputation on the underground scene.

xiao was a guy around your age, not particularly expressive but with an impressive knack for music. all of his emotions and feelings were poured into the lyrics he wrote for your band. yours to write was the melody for his words.

this partnership of yours was quite fruitful as, even with you two leaning more onto the underground scene, the virality of your music earned you guys quite the fame even on the mainstream side. and not only because of the excellent and expressive music you and xiao produced.

many of your fans actually shipped you guys really hard because, according to them, the chemistry between you and xiao was one of a kind, more unique than rare. whenever there was a short video of you two back to back, playing the shit out of your guitars, heads leaning on each other's shoulder as the music took over you, your fans would be squirming in place, giggling and kicking their feet.

you, on the other hand, didn't quite understand their excitement. sure, over the years you and xiao spent together had become friends and got to know each other pretty well, not only to find a chemistry to be able to work together, but also because you really enjoyed having the black-and-teal-haired boy by your side. you considered xiao a dear friend, too dense to notice his eyes softening whenever they were on you.

how could you not notice his eyes sparkling when smiling for you, those tiny but genuine smiles only you could pull out of him? or his thoughtfulness about you even outside work, well behind the care a normal friend would have for you?

he sighed to himself, thinking that, one day, he will confess to you and have you two being a couple even outside the band. but for now he was happy like this, your head resting on his lap, knocked out cold after your usual post-show drinks.

what a lightweight you were.

© azaliyas 2023 do not copy repost translate or feed to ai

#✧༄ཾ┊ azaliyas #✧༄ཾ┊ azaliya's breaks #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #aether x reader #heizou x reader #kazuha x reader #venti x reader #wanderer x reader #xiao x reader

[imshymorph]

Gather around everyone, here’s some soft!Gaz headcanons. Idk if it's a blorbo or me ranting and fangirling but i need to share the brain rot. another post today cause fuck it, i’ve been thinking about it for a while. also this was like a constant stream of thought and not proof read.

I truly don’t understand why this man gets ignored so much and I never will. He literally has everything you could ever want, saying he’s a ten doesn’t cut it. And yet I barely see people talking about him. (Except the gaz nation pookies, I see you).

This man absolutely bags the hottest significant other, doesn’t even know how. Don’t get me wrong, he 100% has rizz but he’s also just naturally attractive and inviting so i feel like by the time he starts to flirt on purpose it’s been two hours of pure smoothness. He’s also absolutely whipped but plays it off really smoothly.

- - - - -

Not only does he bag the hottest and meanest pookie aka you, but he also absolutely knows he did. And he’ll let right about everyone else know. I do think he’s more private about his life than say Soap, so it’s not like he’ll stop a random recruit and tell him about you (which i truly believe Johnny would do). But he has absolutely followed Price around base while he tells him about the two weeks leave he took to be with you.

Poor Price on his desk, dealing with the paperwork that comes as a necessity after Ghost and Soap blew something up during a drill that didn’t involve explosives at all. Not only is he having to fill out like fifteen different forms and reports, but he has Gaz sitting across from him, scrolling through his gallery and showing pictures of the place he took you out to on your Friday dinner date. Not only that but if Price just pretends to look but doesn’t actually pay attention Kyle will know and insist until the captain actually looks at the slideshow.

He doesn’t hammer your dates' knowledge onto Soap and Ghost as much, but he’ll definitely do subtle flexes. He chest the time on his phone instead of his watch so they’ll see the picture of you he has as a background. If someone brings up a weekend plan he’ll say how he can’t because he’s already going out with his darling. Subtly will tell anyone that will listen how you got him his new shirt, pants, cap, whatever it is tbh.

He also knows every single product that you prefer, doesn’t matter what kind it is. Makeup, skincare, cologne, fabric softener, snacks, beverages, food places, clothing brands. He doesn’t care, he knows all of them by heart. It’s like he has a six sense too, every time you’re close to running out of them he’ll randomly stop in the store on his way back to you from base and get them.

While i headcanon that Johnny gets into skin care after his darling introduces him to it (which you can read here, if you want). I believe Kyle absolutely has his own routine and that he is the one who first brings up the idea of having a spa night once a week. He’s the one to get the products, he even goes all out and does them themed, like by scent or colour or something.

Has a bunch of hoodies in rotation (or any other clothing piece you might steal from him) always making sure to wear at least one of them for a few days before “forgetting” it at yours or “forgetting” to take it to base once you’ve moved in together. He knows how much you love wearing them and how important it is that it smells like him. So he dutifully makes sure you always have a fresh Kyle™ piece of clothing available. Also it absolutely works for him too because he takes back the one you’ve had with you meanwhile. The mix of your cologne, body wash and fabric softener his favourite scent for sure.

And last but not least of my Gaz is the perfect boyfriend agenda (for today) is the fact that i know he just gives the best back massages. You don’t even have to ask for it, he’ll just come to the living room, lightly pat your shoulder so you move forward. He fits himself between the couch and your back and just gives you the massage of your life. He just laughs it off when you tell him he could be a masseuse if he ever retires from the military.

It takes less than 5 minutes to have you absolutely melting, and when he’s pleased with how comfortable and relaxed you look he just pulls you back against his chest. His arms wrap around your waist and his chin rests on your shoulder as you sit between his legs, the both of you watching a random show he saw good ratings of.

#cod x reader #x reader #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw2 #kyle gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #kyle gaz x you #gaz x reader #gaz cod #gaz call of duty #gaz nation #soft!gaz

[melodrangea]

Hello! I see that requests are open and I am in need of more SE content, so I figured I would just slide on in! I realise you said obscure characters, so I don't expect this to be answered because my home boy is one of the main characters, feel free to ignore this! But I've been so obsessed with the idea of Kid with a reader who kinda just let's people walk all over them. They're too shy to speak up! And out of fear of upsetting Kid they dress as symmetrically as they can! They even started folding their toilet paper and picking up various other habits to please him:') Since they tag along with him everywhere he and the sisters go, they figured it was the least they could do:')))) So maybe one day something happens to say... maybe their outfit or smth? Perhaps it tears on a mission in a way that is asymmetrical. They start crying cuz they are afraid Kid will yell at them or worse- stop talking to them entirely! How does Kid react?

Stay hydrated and eat well!!!!! OR I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL>:DDDD (Politely ofc U_U) 💛💛💛💛💛💛

Firstly I would like to say I'M FINALLY BACK BITCHES

Between holidays and my computer breaking and needing a new one I was unable to post for the longest time because shipping is a bitch but I'm totally back now and will be posting at least once or twice a week!

Now! Getting back into it...

---------------------------------------------------

-Kid would be the type to absolutely not realize that you are doing all that you do to please him

-he would love the matching outfits and all the symmetric habits you pick up but he figures that's just what happens in relationships and that you enjoys his habits

-after hanging out with them for a period of time, Liz does pick up on what you're doing and worries that you are doing it for different reasons than Kid thinks

-but she doesn't say anything because it doesn't seem to be really affecting you

-that is until you go on a mission together

-you and your weapon partner go on a joint mission with Kid to spend more time together and because Kid wanted to be able to protect you

-anyways the fight gets under swing and slowly but surely you're taking damage

-you don't notice but you outfit it coming undone; the laces rip on your right shoe, one of the buttons on your shirt gets torn off and you build up battle grime etc..

-once the fight is over you go to swipe the hair out of your face when you realize a part of you bangs has been trimmed on the left side

-you panic and inspect the rest of your outfit, realizing the rest of the imperfections in your outfit

-without even meaning to your eyes start to fill with tears, terrified that Kid is going to be upset with you, you heart begins to race and you feel your heartbeat in your ears

-you weapon partner is off assessing damage with Liz and Patty so Kid is the first to notice you upset

-he rushes over to you, at first thinking that you got hurt

"y/n are you alright? are you injured?" his eyes scan over you, hands rubbing soothingly across your jaw.

your lip quivers and tears stream down your cheeks, "I'm sorry" you whisper.

Kid's brow scrunches, "for what?"

you release a shaky breath, "I don't look perfect anymore. One of my buttons is gone, my shoes are dirty, I think that guy with the sword chopped my hair. Please don't be mad at me."

Kid frowns, "oh darling, what makes you think any of that matters to me? I admit I like symmetry but you could be wearing rainbow tie-dye and glow in the dark sketchers for all that I care. "

your eyes widen, "really?"

"really"

-after that mission you slowly start to develop your own style, occasionally swinging for matching outfits of course

-Liz helps Kid point out other habits that you copy unintentionally and helps you to gently shut them down

-Kid is your biggest supporter in helping you choose your own style, he can and will take you shopping whenever you feel like (live laugh love Kid's daddy's money agenda)

-and if you want to keep some of the habits you've picked up Kid is also happy because it means that you like him for who he is <3

---------------------------------------------------

tis all for now my lovelies

please don't be shy about asking because you think the character is "too mainstream", I'm pretty sure my entire inbox is Kid anyways so his character and I are getting fairly acquainted

as usual I am at your writing service my dears

-Melodrangea <3

#black star x reader #soul eater x reader #soul x reader #stein x reader #death the kid x reader #kilik x reader #soul eater #kilik rung #crona x reader #dtk #kid x reader #death the kid #marie soul eater #maka soul eater #black star #soul eater black star #x reader #y/n #x #bad habits #dating #money #daddy's money

[baddiecarl]

Streamer! Carl Grimes x Streamer! reader

Like Chandler Riggs, Carl Grimes in a normal world would also totally be a streamer. Here’s a peek into what it might be like to be his streamer crush!  (Also I’m pushing a slight resident evil agenda in this, I grew up watching my dad and brother play them and waited with bated breath to actually be able to play them myself!  It’s my favorite video game series of all time if you can’t tell lol)

For maximum enjoyment, please watch the clip I put right under this because I referenced it in this story!

  “Do I know who (your screen name) is?”  Carl says, reading his chat.  “No, I’ve never heard of them, gimme a second.”  He picks his phone up off his desk and types the name into google, coming up with endless pictures of you playing video games, doing cooking and baking streams, making art, reacting to the memes people made for you, all the things your streams are widely loved for.  Realizing he was quiet for longer than he probably should’ve been, he speaks up. “Oh yeah I’ve seen her before, she does awesome resident evil speedruns! I didn’t recognize the name at first, but yeah, I know who she is!”  

“Omg he’s blushing!”

“Is bro blushing rn?”

“Looks like no one’s immune to the charms of (y/s/n) lmfao”

  The teasing comments poured in while Carl did his best to play it cool and laugh them off, “yeah she’s pretty cute,” he admits through a soft smile as he focuses on the game he was streaming before he looked you up.  Teasing chats trickled in every once in a while, but for the most part, the topic was changed completely and by the time the stream was over he had almost forgotten about the situation entirely. 

  Little did he know that the next day your viewers would also ask you if you knew Carl.  Having been a streamer for quite some time you’ve seen a lot of clips of other streamers and you immediately recognized the name Carl.  “Oh my god, is that the dude who sucks at fall guys?”  You joked as you pulled up the clip of him failing epically at fall guys. “If you get eliminated at this part then you don’t deserve a single win,” he said, seconds before getting eliminated on the exact part he was referring to.  “He’s fucking hilarious,” you remarked as you smiled while you watched the video.  Well, that didn’t go unnoticed by any of your viewers either.

“She’s straight up giggling and kicking her feet lol”

“He called you cute on his stream yesterday”

“He called you cute on his stream yesterday”

  Man, did your fans come in clutch or what?  Returning to your game, you saved that bit of information for later, knowing that it probably got clipped and posted by now.  After you finished up your game and ended the stream you finally got to look up the clip.  You couldn’t help but laugh while you watched him read the comments and grow more and more red with each one that came in.  “Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”  THERE IT IS! HE ACTUALLY SAID IT!!  This was all you needed to want to reach out. 

  A couple of days later, Carl was streaming again as usual when he felt his phone vibrate.  A DM from…(y/s/n)??  Holy shit, okay, play it cool.  He tried to hide his shock and excitement as he opened the message but still, a goofy smile crept onto his face while he read it.  

“Hey, Carl!  It’s come to my attention that we have quite a bit of an overlapping fanbase so I thought it’d be a great idea to play a game together sometime!  Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to play fall guys ;)”

  By the time he was done reading your message, the grin had broken out into a full-blown smile and he hid his nervous and excited laughing behind his hand.  To no avail, his viewers saw this immediately and began teasing him, asking if (y/s/n) was making him blush again.  “No guys, that’s not it, don’t worry about it,” he said, still trying to hide his bashfulness.  Yet, again clocked by his fans, they knew he was lying.  But they weren't the only ones who knew he wasn't telling the truth, because you had joined the stream just before you sent your message.  You wanted to see him blush just by the sheer mention of you one more time, so you arranged to send it while he was streaming.  You were overjoyed to see him pick up his phone, and judging by his reaction you knew he had to have read it. 

He’s quiet for a minute while he types on his phone and you watch the text bubble pop up on your phone.

“I’ve noticed the same thing haha! I think that’d be awesome, but for the record, we will be playing fall guys so I can prove I’m not ‘the guy who sucks at fall guys’”

  You grinned at his message, not failing to see the humor in the fact that he did the exact thing you did, looking up the clip from your stream where the chat had brought him up.  You respond to his message simply and sweetly.

 “Fair enough! I get to pick the game we play next time we do it then!” 

“Sounds like a deal!”  Carl replies, his heart skipping a beat at the implication of you wanting to do a stream with him more than once.  Carl’s voice coming from your computer removes your attention from your phone. “Alright sorry about the pause there guys, I had a very important message to respond to,”  he says, refocusing on his game all while he's still being teased for his very obvious change in behavior since his phone buzzed.  Giggling at him regarding your message as very important, you sat back and watched him play his game, cracking up at the jokes he made.  After he wraps up his stream, you’re left sitting at your computer, alone with your thoughts and they’re all about Carl.  

  About three minutes into zoning out, you're startled by the buzzing of your phone.  You unlock your phone to see another DM from Carl. 

“Do you think I could have your discord or maybe your phone number if you don't have that? I just thought it might be easier to communicate that way if we’re going to be doing streams together.”  How does his nervous dorky voice translate so well through text?  It’s almost like you could hear him stammering over asking for your phone number.  Doing your best to reassure him, you reply: “I do have discord! But you can have my number too!  It’s ***-***-****!”

“Thanks (y/n), I’m really excited about collabing with you!  I was kinda shocked to see that you messaged me, even though I’m pretty sure this was orchestrated by our followers lol”

What can you say?  Your followers really do come in clutch!

Me again! I hope you guys like this while you wait on the next part of Carl Grimes x Dhampir! reader! Also I hope you enjoyed that clip of Chandler sucking at fall guys, I really wanted to include that in this fic lol

#carl grimes #carl grimes fanfiction #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes x you #Streamer! Carl Grimes x Streamer! reader #my work

[bg-brainrot]

WHaBFHtLA - Astarion x GN!Reader - Chapter 18: Traveling with a Friend

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Elf!Tav)

Genre: Reincarnation, Angst, Mystery, Slow burn

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Canon-Typical Violence, awkwardness

WC: 9k words, 18/?? chapters

Summary: You and Astarion travel together to Waterdeep. Emotions run high as you reconnect and reestablish your boundaries.

Ao3 | [Ch17][Ch19] | WHaBFHtLA Masterlist

The next morning, you find yourself up earlier than usual. A mixture of nerves and excitement kept you up later than you’d intended last night, but also ensured that you jolted out of bed before the sun even rose in the sky.

You’d finished packing all of your things yesterday– after all, the fear that Astarion may regret his choice to bring you never quite leaves your mind. Ignoring that fear, you sling your pack full of clothing across your back, tie your Bag of Holding to your robe’s belt, and prepare your spells for the day. You tuck Astarion’s Sending Stone in your pocket, set to return it when you get a chance.

Once you’re more than ready, have triple-checked that you’ve missed nothing, you head down the stairs of the manor to wait for your vampiric companion in the entry hall.

When you arrive, you find the man already there. You also find that Astarion might be just as anxious as you are, if his pacing is any indication. He stops once he hears your footsteps and turns toward you with narrowed eyes. Oh gods, has he changed his mind overnight? Is he going to revoke my invitation?

“There you are,” he says, words clipped. “I thought I told you to be ready by morning.”

You try not to let his attitude get to you, to be grateful that he’s given you this chance. But his lack of planning is something you’ve been dealing with for two lifetimes and you can’t help but feel how thin your patience is this soon after waking. “Astarion,” you start, tone carefully level. “You never told me what time in the morning. It’s practically still dawn!”

He huffs at you in exasperation. “You should have known! It takes hours to get to Baldur’s Gate. If we arrive too late, we won’t make the teleportation circle today.”

“And how was I supposed to know your agenda?” you can’t help but retort, your irritation bleeding into your tone. You knew that the two of you wouldn’t be back to normal, but you certainly hadn’t expected such early morning hostilities.

“I don’t know!” he says, walking toward you in a temper. “Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent?”

“I’m not a mind reader!” you reply. Though strictly speaking, you did prepare Detect Thoughts today. If anything goes wrong with Astarion, you’d rather have a chance to find out why. “Now, if we’re in such a hurry, can we stop bickering and just get going already?”

Astarion is stopped before you, his red eyes inspecting your face carefully. You wish you could cast Detect Thoughts right now without making it abundantly obvious that you’re prying. It seems as if he’s looking for something in you again, and you wish you could know what that something is. He turns away from you, grabs his own pack, and begins to head to the door without looking back. “Let’s go,” he calls before throwing his door open.

The daylight that streams through his doorway is blinding, and your panic is immediate. You’re rushing forward before you can help yourself, mind addled by fear. Astarion! He’ll burn– it’s almost an ingrained instinct in you, one that fizzles out abruptly.

Because of course Astarion is fine. In fact, he stands in the doorway, looking back at you like you’ve gone mad. “What are you doing, darling?” The pet names are back, but not in the tender tone you’d grown accustomed to.

“I…” You look at him more closely, spotting the sunlight ring on his finger. It’s only natural that he would use one for the trip, but your fear had reacted faster than any logic. “I moved on instinct. I suppose I’ve gotten too used to my memories.”

He scoffs, appearing displeased by your worry. “I don’t need you to defend me against the sun. Just focus on making up for lost time.”

He's right, of course. What would you do against the sun? But again, you’d been so ingrained in the past that your body moved on its own. You shake the sensation, watching Astarion turn to leave.

Now's your chance. You could read his mind, figure out if this whole trip is worth it or not– if he invited you out of obligation or affection and, more importantly, if he harbors any hatred for you. Detect Thoughts doesn't have to be invasive, especially if you just need to understand his mindset, but you feel a touch of guilt nonetheless. You rationalize it to yourself, If I don't find out now, he'll likely never tell me. I'll feel the shade of his disdain the entire trip, whether or not it's there. And you also simply can’t ignore the annoyed set of his jaw or the way his eyes had examined you moments ago.

So, once his back is turned and he is heading down the stairs, you quietly, quickly recite the incantation for Detect Thoughts. It only lasts a single minute, and you’d like to save some spells just in case, so you resolve to get your answers as quickly as possible.

A second later, the spell takes effect and you hear the man’s surface level thoughts.

‘Gods below, I can’t believe I’m doing this.’

You follow after him on the stairs, trying to keep up as you listen in. 

‘There’s little to no chance that this will go well.’

As disappointing as his surface level thoughts are, they aren’t much use to you if he's going to keep grumbling to himself. You ask him a question as you chase him. “Say, why did you invite me to join you?”

Astarion looks back at you momentarily, his red eyes shining brilliantly in the sunlight– you’d missed this look in your memories, and it brings you a sense of ease that you don't have time to enjoy. “If you have breath to ask questions, then walk faster,” is all that he replies. In his mind you hear, ‘Hopefully Gale can help nip this ill-fated endeavor in the bud. If not then… I don't know what I'll do.’

Oh good. He hopes to use Gale as a voice of reason. For you. You try not to let your dread show on your face.

Continuing down the steps, nearly reaching the bottom of the long entry staircase, you ask your next question a bit breathlessly, “And why are we in such a rush?”

“We’ll miss the birthday celebration if we don’t hurry,” he replies with a glare, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Internally, you hear, ‘We likely have a few days until the dinner proper, but I don’t think I could spend an entire night alone with them. Not after everything.’

Upon hearing that thought, you want to ask him so very badly about everything that's transpired between you. If he meant his words, if he still wanted you in his life– but you can’t very well just ask that out of the blue. Instead you prod a little more subtly and hope his mind will fill in the rest, “How was your week in the Underdark?”

Astarion shoots you an annoyed look, and his thought comes through before his words. ‘Miserable.’ Aloud he says, “It was fine. We had some lovely family bonding experiences.” His thoughts continue, ‘I had to threaten Petras at least twice a day for being such an oaf, and if Dal gives me one more lecture on the meaning of love, I am liable to murder the entire colony.’

You can’t help the surprised laugh that bubbles out of you, and Astarion rolls his eyes at you– clearly not finding his own words to be worth a laugh. Recovering quickly, you respond, “Sounds nice.” Almost a minute has passed, and you can feel the spell fading as you both begin on the dirt path out of Astarion’s manor. You ask one final question, “Are you excited to see Gale?”

“Very,” he says to you, continuing to walk without looking back. Despite the sarcasm in his voice, his mind seems to agree emphatically, ‘We can't get there fast enough.’

The spell worn out, your curiosity satisfied for now, you keep pace with Astarion as you walk down the dirt path. You didn't learn anything too novel– and you wouldn't want to pry that deeply anyway– but you feel more comfortable knowing that hatred for you isn't at the forefront of his mind. Hopefully the journey ahead doesn't change that.

You’re not sure what time you’d need to make it to the city for the teleportation circle, or how long the two of you will be traveling, but you do know that your own journey from Baldur’s Gate had taken the better part of the day. You’re starting to suspect that the two of you won’t make it in time for the transport from the way Astarion seems to be eyeing the sun in the sky.

As your travel starts in earnest, you fall into a gentle rhythm as you walk. Perhaps it's your excitement or simply his determination to make time, but your shared goal keeps your mind from wandering too far– keeps it from remembering that the man next to you had torn your heart to shreds only a week ago. More likely it was that that man seemed to be hells bent on pretending that nothing had happened.

“How was your week?” he asks, looking at you from the corner of his eye. His tone has a lukewarm, distant affectation, as if he’s back to keeping you at an arm’s length. It reminds you of when you first arrived at his house.

“It was… fine,” you reply, borrowing his own verdict. It had been exhilarating, it had been frustrating, it had been illuminating– but now that you’re walking next to Astarion, reminded of his presence, all you can remember are the moments of loneliness, the longing you felt for him. “Thank you for allowing me to stay.”

Astarion waves your thanks off. “Think nothing of it. Dal insisted.”

Of course she did, she’d said as much. But he does seem to stand a bit straighter at your thanks. “Well, I still appreciate it. While I originally had trouble sleeping in that room, I’ve grown to quite like it.”

His head turns toward you slightly, almost imperceptibly. “You had trouble? You never mentioned it.”

You shrug at his question, having honestly not found it worth mentioning after that first day. “Like I said, I got used to it. And I wasn’t about to put you out for something as trivial as a few bad reveries.”

“Gods,” he mutters under his breath.

“What?”

“I’m just annoyed,” he says. The look on your face must be alarmed, because he continues, “At myself.”

The alarm likely doesn’t leave your face, but you respond calmly enough, “Erm, why is that?”

“Dal said…” he trails off, steps slowing for a moment as he appears to deliberate his words. “Well. Everyone said.” He looks at you before picking up his pace again. “They said that it was obvious who you were. If only I’d been open to seeing it. I see it now.”

The man’s words send a thrill up your spine, but his renewed speed doesn’t give you the chance to see his face, gauge his expression. You rush after him, managing to get out, “What does that mean?”

“It means ‘hurry up’ or I’ll leave you behind.” You consider another use of Detect Thoughts but think better of it. He would hear and see you casting it in the stark daylight and openness of the road.

You pick up your pace a bit, internally debating whether you should continue to press him on the topic, distract him from his half-jogging jaunt. On one hand, you do want to make it to Waterdeep in a timely manner, ask Gale all of the questions that you can think of. On the other hand, you suspect that all of the reasons Astarion wants to hurry up are the same reasons you would like to go more slowly: he doesn’t want to confront the words he levied against you or what you did in your time apart.

Ultimately, you decide that the silence isn’t bearable, and you maintain a steady, unrushed pace. 

The two of you speak as you walk, conversation casual the entire time, as if a thin sheet of ice remains between you. Any words too loud, any emotions too hot, and it’s liable to shatter the ice and any semblance of peace. Your tone light, words equally as shallow, it’s as if you’re nothing more than casual acquaintances.

However, along the way, you do learn a few things.

The journey to Waterdeep would take nearly 45 days by foot, according to Astarion. While you could cut the time to a week by boat, the vampire can’t cross running water anymore, and he doesn’t particularly care to carve out more time ‘just to visit Gale.’

Astarion has never had to make the full trip, as Gale’s connections to both cities gets him an easy Teleport. Through the use of the teleportation circle, the trip is roughly a day or two. They close the Teleport by evening so he typically sets aside two days for travel.

Less than an hour out from Baldur’s Gate, you ask him, “Do you visit Gale often?”

Astarion gives a sigh. Having thawed a bit as you walk, his words and actions sound more like his usual self. “Not as often as Gale insists I should. At least once a year for this silly little birthday dinner though.”

You laugh, imagining how often Gale must bother Astarion, asking him to pay a visit. “What are his birthdays like?”

“Oh you know,” he begins, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Very Gale.”

“What does that mean?”

“You know how I asked you to pack for a few nights?” You nod. “It’s really an excuse to, ugh, spend time together. He never bothers to tell me when the damnable party actually takes place.”

You consider his words, recalling what he’d said just a few hours ago and what you’d heard from his thoughts. “So, we might not miss the celebration?”

“Or we might.” Astarion places a hand to his temple in aggravation. “Though more often than not he drags it out, like one of his rambling tangents.”

I certainly remember those tangents, you think. While you had primarily dreamt of Astarion, your other companions had appeared frequently enough that you felt quite connected to each. You’d actually been very at odds with your previous-self, wanting to listen to everything Gale said, no matter how much of their boredom flowed into you. Much like when you met Halsin, you can’t help the anticipation building in you. The thought of Halsin reminds you to ask, “Does anyone else show up to the dinner? Halsin said he hadn’t seen you in almost a century.”

“Yes, well,” Astarion looks at you briefly, turns back to the road. “When Gale started hosting these, about fifty years back, Halsin and I had already stopped speaking for some time. Some others show. Elminster, Volo. You won’t be surrounded entirely by strangers if that’s what you’re asking.”

While you’re curious to know who all the guests are, this isn’t the first time that you’ve noticed Astarion and Halsin being at odds. “If you don’t mind my asking, why don’t you speak with Halsin anymore?”

Astarion continues to walk, not looking back at you, not answering your question. He clearly minds you asking, but stops in his tracks before you can change the subject. His sharp red eyes meet yours, looking between them a moment before he says, “Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye on life, death, and whatever it is that lies in between.”

‘If you find Astarion, be sure to remind him that the cycle of rebirth is a blessing, one that he's been lucky enough to receive.’

The druid’s words ring through your ears as you take in Astarion’s pained expression. Understanding dawns on you as you respond, “Did the two of you… fight after I died in my previous life?”

“Something like that,” the vampire responds, lips pressing into a displeased line. “He kept trying to reassure me, to tell me about the ‘natural circle of life.’ I didn’t want his pity or insipid kindness. And now that you’re here…”

Now that I’m here, I'm only proving the druid right. “I–” I’m sorry? You can’t be, because Halsin understood, far more than you or Astarion do. Hundreds of years of experience, of living in nature and surrounding himself in its domain, only improved his perspective. Death isn’t the end for anyone, simply another part of the natural rhythm of life. “I see. Have you considered reconnecting? He said he would love to see you.” You decide not to mention that he’d like you both to visit together.

Astarion finally breaks eye contact with you, turning back to the road. “Maybe someday. First let’s get this yearly misery out of the way, shall we?”

You agree, accepting a ‘maybe’ as the best you’re likely to get from the vampire.

The city isn’t far now, but the sun begins to hang low in the sky. Just as the gates come into view, you ask Astarion another question, unsure of how he might react. “Are we going to make it to the teleportation circle?”

You see his silvery head shake out of the corner of your eye. You’re walking side by side now, his earlier bursts of speed dwindling alongside his ill-humor. “I doubt it. No matter, we’ll get there when we get there.”

A distinct difference from his attitude this morning, but not one that you’ll point out. “So then… what is the plan for tonight?”

He seems to think for a moment and, as he tilts his head toward you, you catch a bit of uncertainty creasing his brow. “I suppose we should find somewhere to stay for the night. Leave bright and early in the morning.”

It sounds as good a plan as any to you, but Astarion’s hesitance has you on edge too. He seems to be pretending not to care that you’re about to spend a night alone together– that act of pretend is far worse for your nerves than simply caring outright. “A simple but effective plan,” you say, only barely holding back your nervous laughter.

It also sounds like you'll have time in the city, at least for a short while, before nightfall. The perfect opportunity to stop by Sorcerous Sundries before they close and look for some materials for the ring. You don't mention this, but resolve to head out once you find lodging.

As the two of you make your way through the dirt roads of Wyrm's Crossing, a silence falls between you, an anticipation that seems to rush you both forward a bit faster.

You approach the South Span Checkpoint with confidence and an odd feeling of familiarity. Not only had you crossed through here a few weeks ago, but your past-self and Astarion did plenty of times as well. It’s strange knowing that you’re all but tracing the footsteps of your former life. 

And, yet again, your body fights you: it takes everything you have not to instinctively grab Astarion’s hand as you walk. It had been a common act for the two of you, holding hands as you walked through crowded plazas and streets– in part for the comfort of having one another, in greater part to avoid having to find each other again every few blocks. You manage to resist though, even as you reach the busy checkpoint.

The guards at the checkpoint regard you both with boredom, and you pass without issue. You still have your writ of passage from weeks ago and Astarion presents his as well. Once you’re out of earshot, you ask a question that had bubbled up when you saw Astarion’s paperwork. 

“Do they ever recognize you as one of the saviors of Baldur’s Gate?”

Astarion looks at you, an eyebrow raised in amusement. “Darling, surely you jest.”

His mirth confuses you. “I don’t. Why would I jest?”

“Because, my dear,” he says, speaking back to you as you both weave through a crowd milling between street stalls. “So many people have saved this city, only fanatics truly care about one or two in particular.”

His words evoke images of Minsc, Jaheira, the others who came before your past-self and your companions– those that had shown up in history books since then. I suppose that makes sense. Certainly explains why everyone who looks for him seems like a unique type of enthusiast. Lost in thought as you are, you miss the moment when Astarion slips out of your view. 

When you finally look up, you’re faced with the backs of dozens of strangers, no silver-haired head to be seen. “Astarion?” you ask, looking left, right, behind you. Panic begins to bloom in your chest and your heart starts to pound. Of course you’ve lost him almost immediately. 

You’re about to yell his name louder when a hand grabs yours from the crowd. 

You give an appropriately terrified yelp, but the cold fingers and familiar pale skin calm you. Looking up to see an amused set of red eyes staring at you stills the rapid beating of your heart. “Darling, it’s a miracle you made it to me with your head so high up in the clouds,” he says, voice barely carrying over the bustling conversations. “Keep this up and I’ll pickpocket you myself.”

No smart remark reaches your lips, no brilliant defense. Because all you can think of is that his hand is in yours again. You hope he can’t hear the satisfied sigh that escapes your lips.

His hand doesn’t leave yours as he pulls you through the throngs of people. It doesn’t let yours go, even as you both narrowly dodge a man pulling a cart of cabbages. It doesn’t let go even as you walk by the Flaming Fists in Wyrm's Rock Fortress. Maybe in another lifetime, were you someone else, holding his hand like this would make you both look like a couple.

By the time you reach the entrance to Baldur’s Gate, his hand is the same temperature as your own. It’s only when the guards at the gate ask to see your paperwork once more that you break apart.

Once you’re in the city, Astarion turns to look at you. You think you spot a softness to his eyes before they harden once more and he says, "I suppose we should get lodging before it gets too late. It wouldn't do to get the last available room."

You nod, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in your chest. The sleeping arrangements weren't something you'd paid any mind to when it came to missing the teleportation circle, but now that you’re in the city, it's all you can think about.

Astarion doesn't grab your hand again, but you do a fine job of keeping up with him as he makes his way to the Elfsong.

You'd stayed here just weeks ago and reveled in how unchanged it is since being rebuilt, but walking in next to this man brings on a wave of nostalgia far stronger than before. The familiarity doesn't die down as Astarion walks up to the barkeep, asking for a room for two. The memories that flood you are not your own as you see one of his elegant hands slide a few gold coins across the table, his other hand gesturing enthusiastically as he makes a deal with the man at the counter.

When he turns back around toward you, room key in hand, he seems to be just as lost in thought as you are. "Shall we?"

You nod, following behind him in a daze.

Maybe this is why he'd completely redone his house. Memory after memory comes unbidden as you walk after him. The time that you'd all played cards, just at that corner table. The time you'd convinced a drunken stranger that you were visiting royalty. All those times that you both snuck away from everyone, up the stairs for a moment to yourselves.

It feels like one of those moments now, as the din of the Elfsong falls away and you both walk up the creaky, wooden steps to the second floor.

He unlocks the door to your shared room and you both file in in silence. A small sliver of relief shoots through you upon seeing two beds, but the relief is short-lived when you look up to see Astarion's eyes trained on you.

"What?" you ask, worried at the lack of legible emotion on his face.

"It's strange," he replies, sitting down on one of the beds with a slight chuckle. "I wasn't expecting this all to feel so…"

"Familiar?" you offer, taking his lead and dropping onto your own bed in a relieved huff.

"You feel it too, I take it?" After a quick nod from you, he continues to elaborate, "I've stayed here for years since…" Since I died, your mind fills in easily. He continues after a silence with, "It's different this time."

You hum appreciatively, not sure how to put the nostalgia that you're feeling into words. Naturally, you try anyway. "It's– it's almost as if we've just been here. As we climbed the stairs, I was remembering one of the times we snuck up here, away from the rest of the group. You'd been so impatient to get away that we nearly got caught by Shadowheart and…" The rest of your words die on your tongue. You’re afraid that you've gone too far, tread too deep into a now painful memory.

But when you glance at him, Astarion is simply staring at a floorboard between you, a small, melancholy smile on his face. "And I just about broke an ankle trying to scramble up. I remember that time."

Your heart jumps in your chest at his pensive state, wondering how you can preserve the moment, bottle it up like a tonic for your soul. Nothing that beautiful ever lasts though, and he looks up at your awed, frozen stare.

Luckily, the fondness that glazes over his eyes lingers as he says, "Mmm, the lot of us made this place a home of sorts I suppose. Though you may remember as well as I do, darling." 

"Yes," you reply, turning away from his gaze. "I received quite a few memories from that time. Not all fun and games, of course, but it was still nice."

“I’m glad,” he says, with a wistfulness to his tone that makes your heart ache. “It’s somewhat gratifying to know that our adventures live on, in some form or another.”

You laugh a bit, and the two of you sit in silence for a long, lasting moment.

Astarion breaks the silence by clearing his throat and you look up at him as if summoned. “It’s a tad late, but I wanted to thank you. For joining me. I know the last that we spoke…” His eyes narrow in a wince. “I said some hurtful things.”

Oh gods, you think. We need to have this conversation sooner or later, don’t we? And you do, despite all of the muscles in your body clenching instinctively, the fear that courses through you telling you to run. “I recall,” is all that you can manage between breaths. The feeling of loss is encroaching on you, threatening to overtake you.

Then Astarion snaps you back to reality. 

“I know my apologies have been, well, wanting, as my siblings like to say.” He smirks at you, despite the serious set of his eyes. “But should you have room in your heart or soul for another, I am sorry for the words I said. I can’t take them back, nor can I fix the hurt I’ve caused, but I can assure you that I regret every word I said in anger.”

For all of the apologies Astarion has delivered since you arrived on his doorstep, this one feels the most sincere. His eyes don’t waver, his voice is steady and sure. While he’s right, that none of this fixes the pain, nor the feelings left behind, you do feel something relax in you at his words. A tension that had carried you through the day finally eases.

However, one last, persistent issue needs to be addressed. “Thank you. And, though I wish I could apologize myself, for crossing your boundaries, I’m afraid I have no intention of stopping my research to help the spawn.” You’re surprised by the strength of your own voice, the confidence that you feel.

Astarion seems to notice it as well– the lines of his jaw clench, his next breath comes a bit short. “Yes. I suspected as much. And it’s your life– or lives– to do with as you please. I should know better than to try to stop you myself.”

Right, you think. That’s why you’re taking me to Gale. He doesn’t know that you know that though, so you simply say, “In that case, thank you for that as well.”

The vampire tilts his head toward you slightly in response and continues, “That being said, I am not about to attach myself to someone stubbornly set on a mission from the hells.”

“I can understand that,” you reply, bowing your head a bit to hide the disappointment that is surely on your face.

“So,” Astarion starts, clicks his tongue with a ‘tch.’ “Until you’ve either given up on this endeavor or died once more trying, I want to make it clear that we are strictly friends.”

Friends.

The word sounds like a discordant melody crashing into a quiet space. It feels fumbling and childish, incorrect and out of place. How could two people whose histories, bodies, lives have been intertwined for centuries find themselves back at friends, time and time again?

And yet, it’s more than you could ever hope for, the lifeline that will keep you afloat. So, while it feels like a step back, it’s one that you will take each time it’s offered to you. “I will always be happy to be your friend, Astarion.”

Your eyes meet once more, staring across this familiar treading ground, and you find peace in each other’s gaze.

The moment passes, and you decide that it’s time for you to leave if you want to make it to Sorcerous Sundries before it closes. Besides, better to leave now, while you’re both friends, than to muck it all up again by allowing a memory to fog your judgment, instinct to move your body. “Speaking of my endeavors, I need to go to the shop. Perhaps we can reminisce a bit more once I return?”

Astarion seems surprised as you rise from the bed, but he recovers quickly, pursing his lips at you disapprovingly. “Very well. But be careful. Night is about to fall and the city gets rather dangerous after dark.”

“Don’t worry,” you reply, smiling at him as you prepare your coin purse, deposit your pack on your bed. “I happen to know that all of the vampires left the city a while back.”

He snorts and shoos you with his hands. “Gods. Out with you, so that I can lock you out of the room for your poor attempts at humor.”

“Fine, fine,” you say, laughing and walking toward the door. “I do promise that I’ll be as alert as I can be.”

“Knowing you, darling?” he asks, leaning back on his bed. “I’m afraid that doesn’t mean much.”

It's odd but, despite everything, you end up leaving the conversation like a pair of old companions who haven't spoken in a while– falling into a comfortable rhythm that neither of you want to break.

A sense of purpose still drives you forward though. So you leave him in the room, somewhat flustered by the shift in your dynamic, but not unpleased.

You’re familiar enough with the city at this point that you make it to Sorcerous Sundries without too many extra twists and turns– and, despite Astarion’s misgivings, without losing your life or money. You had visited the establishment on your way into the city, grabbing various spell components, refilling your ink, and generally getting a lay of the land. So, when you enter this time, you’re only mildly gobsmacked by the treasure trove of magical goods before you.

In Neverwinter there are plenty of magical shops on the same level as Sorcerous Sundries, but something about a new magical shop provokes a special kind of thrill in you.

You walk up to the counter, finding a simulacrum of a tiefling taking care of the shop.

“Hello and welcome to Sorcerous Sundries! What can I do for you?” it asks.

“Hello,” you reply, quite used to treating simulacrums like their real world counterparts. “Would you happen to have an item that can create water?”

It’s not ten minutes later that you’re leaving the shop with a Decanter of Endless Water, several spell components, a brand new notebook, and a much lighter coin purse. I’m lucky my parents sent me off with so much gold , you think. They would have had no clue that I would end up spending this much already. When I end up back in Neverwinter, I'm afraid I'll have a stern lecture waiting for me.

The night is still fairly young and you debate stopping by a smithy to purchase more metal or perhaps seeking out an old haunt from your prior life. But nothing sounds quite as appealing to you as making your way back to Astarion.

Can I truly spend the rest of the night alone with him? you consider as you make your way back, dragging your feet as you ponder. I know we're ‘friends’ again, but just the thought of being in that room, so close. It may prove to be too much.

You pause outside the Elfsong, staring up at the window to the room you're sharing. A quick movement passes behind the curtains, and you wonder what Astarion was up to while you were out. Perhaps he expected you to be out longer.

Maybe I'll get a meal before I head up, in case he wants a bit more alone time, you decide. 

That's how you spend the next half hour eating alone along the Elfsong's bar, trying out your new decanter in a borrowed cup. By the time you finish your meal, you're certain it will be helpful, but equally certain that any blood you make from it won't satiate a vampire.

Luckily you have one such vampire to test your ideas on. If he is amenable to the tests. You decide to wait until you’re both safely in Waterdeep before you start creating rivers of fake blood.

You make your way upstairs, knock on the door to your shared room, and speak, "May I enter?" The man inside grumbles something, which you take as assent. You find Astarion on his bed where you left him, a book balanced on his lap, a sour expression on his face.

“Are you alright?” you ask him, dreading the possibility that he’s spent the last hour changing his mind once more.

“I’m fine,” he murmurs, eyes focused on his book. “Simply enjoying my book. Alone.”

Oh, I suppose he did want more alone time. “I’m sorry, I can leave you be for a bit longer if you’d like–”

“Ever so helpful, aren’t you?” he snaps. Then, realizing what he’s said, wipes a hand over his face and looks up at you. His eyes are conflicted. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I suppose I just didn’t realize that my company was that disagreeable. It’s a rather uncomfortable thing to come to terms with.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, closing the door behind you and stepping in now. You set down your spoils and turn toward Astarion. His entire demeanor, his body, looks to be on edge, like something has been chipping away at him.

Astarion closes the book in his lap, and you note that the cover is upside down. “It’s just this damned tavern. I know I can’t eat, but I guess I got used to sharing meals with, erm, you. Them.” He drops his head and mumbles, almost too quiet to hear, “I don’t even know anymore.”

He’d mentioned before how difficult it had been for him, trying to reconcile who you are, who you were, but he’d recused himself every time it got to be too much. Here, sharing a room in the Elfsong, neither of you could run away from the roiling storm of his emotions.

Faced with his hanging head and the hunch of his shoulders, you haven’t a clue how to approach the man you can only call a friend. You almost wish this was a memory, if only for your emotions to come through clearly, your next course of action to be predetermined. But, of course, you are the only one capable of dealing with the consequences of your own actions.

You approach him slowly, cautiously, and call out his name. “Astarion?”

The man lifts his head up to you, and you find torment twisting his fair features. His breathing seems shallow and rushed. The lines around his mouth deepen as he reads your expression and he only replies, “Please don’t.”

“Don’t?” you ask, stopping just short of his bed.

“Don’t look at me like that– With that infernal pity. I’m fine.”

He doesn’t look fine, and you don’t feel pity. It’s hard to parse out your emotions, but you mostly feel bad. The idea that he’d been suffering alone, that he had harbored this turmoil, all without letting you in… it hurts. Whether or not he loves you, he said he cared about you. He claims to be your friend and friends don’t shut each other out like this.

“I know you don’t want to get more attached to me,” you say, taking another step. “But I promise I am only doing this as a friend.”

You don’t give him time to react, to protest your presence, before your arms reach down and envelop his form. It’s an awkward angle, with his body hunched, curled on his bed, yours draping over him like an unwelcome cloak– he stiffens under you at first.

Then his tension melts.

His hands come up, grasping at your elbows and holding you in place. His soft, silver hair tickles your neck as his head leans into your chest. His whole body angles toward yours, as if seeking your warmth desperately.

You cling back, tilting your head into his. Your hands grip his sides tightly. Your presence is firm, your warmth his to take. 

You hold him like that for a time, neither of you wanting to pull away from the simple, beautiful feeling of holding one another. Initially, you’d held him for his sake, but you find that the longer you stand there, the more your own soul settles. If a soul could crave, this is what mine would yearn for.

Eventually, Astarion’s breathing slows. He inhales deeply one last time, gives a soft shuddering breath that ghosts across your skin, and pulls away. “Thank you,” he says, eyes not meeting yours. “You’re… a kind friend.”

Your throat feels tight, whether from disuse or from emotion, you can’t quite tell. You clear it and respond, “You’re welcome. I’m more than happy to help.”

Detaching your limbs from his body, you feel so awkward, so out of place standing before him. Barely more than a week ago you’d been wrapped in his arms, he’d been whispering sweet nothings into your ears as he caressed every inch of you. But this? It feels as if you’re both truly, utterly stripped bare before each other.

“It’s getting late,” he says, looking up at you finally. His eyes are dark in the candle-lit room, and his expression is difficult to read. He’s certainly calmer though, less on edge than he was when you entered the room.

“You’re right,” you say, taking a step back. “We should rest up so that we make it to Gale bright and early tomorrow.”

Astarion gives you a short nod and whispers, “You’ll tell me if your reverie bothers you, won’t you?” His unspoken words are clear to you, You’ll allow me to be there for you, as you’ve been there for me?

“I will,” you respond, turning to your bed. “Promise.”

You get ready for bed in silence, and when the time comes for Astarion to snuff the candle he murmurs into the dark room, “Goodnight, darling.”

“Goodnight, Astarion.”

Perhaps it was the memories of the day, but that night you dream of the Hero’s life. Much like your real life, you seem to be on a trip to Waterdeep.

Gale Dekarios stands before you, holding an orb of magical light above you. You recognize it as a simple Light cantrip.

“Could you hold that a bit higher?” you hear yourself say. 

“With pleasure,” he responds, adjusting accordingly. 

You seem to be holding a set of tongs, a piece of heated metal bending between them, a careful hand pulling with a pair of pliers. “Thank you. Astarion never sits still long enough to help with these, you know.”

“I am well aware, my friend,” Gale says with a slight chuckle. “It’s a miracle he agreed to join you on this trip.You would think he’s allergic to magic with the way he avoids visiting.”

Your own responding laugh is softer, your hands remain steady as you warp the still warm metal. “He secretly enjoys it,” you reply. “And you know, if anything happens to me on our next journey…”

“Now, now, I have the utmost confidence in you– everything will go swimmingly, just you wait.” His words are warm, confident in you.

“I know,” you say, pressing the two ends of the metal strip together, ensuring that they’re flush to each other. “But if anything were to happen. You’ll make sure he’s okay, right?”

Gale looks a bit offended when you look up at him. “Of course I would! I would be quite the atrocious friend if I did or said otherwise.”

You feel satisfaction at his words, nodding. “Good. Now would you mind a quick flame to weld these ends together?”

The wizard helps you close the loop off, and you’re left with a recognizable ring, one of the prototypes that you’d designed together. It had been one of the ones you’d marked off with the blacksmith’s initials. It’s a clean design, a simple thin band made of silver with room for an inlay along its ridge.

“What do you think?” you ask him, holding it in your palm once the metal cools.

“Why it’s a beautiful little thing, isn’t it?” Gale says, appreciatively. “Silver though, a might bit too much for a vampire perhaps? I know I recommended it, but it may sting.”

“True. But first we’ll have to wait and see how the mage’s magic works. If it even works,” you say with a sigh.

Gale hums thoughtfully, inspecting the ring. “It may be a tall tale, but I’d still say it’s worth a shot. Besides, your intuition has never led us astray before.”

You laugh at that, some guilt coursing through you as you say, “I don’t know about that. Remember the time that you nearly got blown off Ramazith's Tower?”

The wizard shudders at the memory. “Your intuition rarely has led us astray.”

The two of you continue at work, discussing the merits of different shapes of rings. Some are better for integrity, some for holding magic– together, you with your knowledge of metals and metalworking, Gale with his knowledge of enchanting, you refine and iterate through the night. 

The entire dream you pay rapt attention, wishing more than anything that you could interject, ask your own questions. All the while you remind yourself, I will have my chance. For now, I must just listen.

__

You wake from your reverie bright and early. Astarion still slumbers, and you debate heading down to breakfast without disturbing him before deciding that he would very much not like that.

So you read through some of your notes with last night’s dream in mind, waiting for the vampire to wake up.

When the man stirs, sitting up with a slightly tousled head of hair, it’s all you can do to stop yourself from emitting a happy little sigh. After a week without him, waking to his presence is more refreshing than you can put into words.

“Good morning,” you say, smiling at him and tucking your papers back into your bag of holding.

“Morning,” he says, looking at you cautiously. “Did you sleep well?”

You nod, assuring him that it was not tossing and turning that woke you early. “I dreamt of Waterdeep actually. I spent the night crafting with Gale.”

Astarion snorts at that, though he does seem relieved. “Sweet hells, those were some dull nights. I swear, it was like the two of you were out to bore me to death.”

Your heart catches in your throat. The two of you… He included you. It feels odd getting worked up over such a small word choice, seeing as almost everyone else treated you as your former self. But he’d always maintained a clear distinction.

However, the man in question did not even seem to notice the slip. He continues, “Well, I’d like to think Gale has matured some since then.” Astarion snickers under his breath. “We can’t all be blessed with eternal beauty I suppose.”

You recover your bearings, registering Astarion’s jabs. The Gale of your dream last night was still quite lively, if lined with a few more wrinkles, hair salted with a few extra streaks of gray. “Is he, erm, well? ” You don’t know how to tactfully ask if he’s on death’s door, but Astarion seems to understand what you’re implying.

“Oh, he’s perfectly healthy,” he says, stretching as he rises from bed. “Much like Elminster, someone as adept at magic as he is knows full well how to extend his life without complications.”

You nod, knowing as much from your own wizardly studies. “I’m glad. I’d love to get to know him better. I think I’ll be able to learn a lot.”

Astarion’s resulting glare is pointed. “I’m going to regret bringing you, aren’t I?”

You shrug, dropping your legs over the edge of the bed and getting up. “I’m afraid it’s too late to rescind the invitation. I think you know as well as I do that I could and would follow you if need be.”

The threat is lighthearted, jovial even, and the vampire’s responding smile is blinding to you in the morning light. “You’re a veritable scourge upon my sanity, you know.”

His tone is surprisingly seductive and you feel a heat building in you. You turn away from the distinctly unfriendly thoughts that come to your mind and say, “I know. Shall we get going?”

Before you leave, the two of you stop downstairs for a quick breakfast. You claimed you could have gone without, but Astarion demands it, saying that, with a self-sacrificing fool like yourself, it was up to him to make sure that his mortal friend gets the sustenance they need.

Mortal meal time out of the way, you find yourselves at the permanent teleport station– the very same one you entered the city through over a month ago. You recognize the mage running the teleport station as the one who’d welcomed you in: Thomas, you recall.

“Good morning, Thomas,” you say with a wave.

“Good morning!” he responds, waving back enthusiastically. He’s an eager man, passionate about his craft. Conjuration magic isn’t your specialty, so you’d asked plenty of questions when you came through. “Why, isn’t this a pleasant surprise! What are you doing back here?”

“I’m actually on–”

“On a trip with me,” Astarion interjects, stepping up to Thomas with a smile. “Good morning.”

“Oh, good morning, sir.” Thomas seems taken aback by Astarion’s sudden appearance, but turns back to address you, “Well, it’s lovely to see you again. It’s not every day you get someone coming in that’s so knowledgeable and interested in your work.”

You smile at Thomas, understanding all too well, but feel the burn of Astarion’s eyes on your face all the while. “I would love to ask some more questions, but I’m afraid we have to get going today. Maybe next time I come through?”

“I am always happy to answer more questions!”

Thomas looks downright joyful at the idea, though his smile dies when Astarion cuts in, “Or maybe we’ll return by boat. Who really knows?”

“I doubt that,” you say, shooting Astarion a warning look. “For today, we’d just like passage to Waterdeep, please.”

Ever the professional, Thomas doesn’t push on your less-than-subtle bickering, merely agrees to set up the circle, takes Astarion’s note of passage from Gale, and goes to prepare the spell.

As the two of you move to get into position, you mutter to Astarion under your breath, “What was that about?”

“What was what?” he replies, smiling at you with false warmth.

“How rude you were to Thomas,” you hiss. “He’s only been utterly polite.”

Astarion scoffs, looking at you in disbelief. “Polite? Oh my dear, I’m so glad you have me as a friend.”

You only give him a confused, concerned look.

“As somewhat of an expert, I know a wretched flirt when I see one. Thomas has anything but innocent intentions,” he explains, glaring at the man who’s hard at work inscribing sigils. “It’s my duty as your friend to protect you from such scoundrels, of course.”

Oh great, you think, rubbing your temple with one of your hands. He’s evoking friendship in the name of jealousy. At least, it seems like jealousy. “He’s just doing his job, Astarion.”

“Darling, no one is that eager to do their job. No, he’s thinking of doing other things,” he says, lowering his voice as he insinuates what exactly Thomas would like to do.

You can’t help the heat that comes over you. While you’d planned on letting the matter drop, you feel the need to defend Thomas. “Hush, Astarion. Stop attributing your lecherous feelings to the poor man.”

The look Astarion gives you is one of sheer shock. Whether at your blunt comeback or at the feelings he may be trying to smother, you’re not sure.

Before he can recover, Thomas calls, “The circle is ready! Safe travels to you both, and, erm, I may or may not see you on your way back!”

You wish you could say something to assuage the mage, but his magic envelops you both a second later– a blinding flash of purples and blues obscures your vision and after a few rapid blinks you find yourself in Waterdeep’s teleport station.

“Oh good,” you say, finding Astarion still staring at you. “I was worried you’d stay behind to keep terrorizing Thomas.”

“Very funny,” he grumbles, turning away from you. “Let’s get to Gale’s before you accidentally woo some other unsuspecting sap.”

He makes me sound like some kind of philanderer, you think as you follow after him. Not that you were capable of philandering. He’d made that abundantly clear. A rage fills you as you think of the things he’s said about you and your attractiveness. Your thoughts darken further as you remember how you’d changed your appearance for him those weeks ago. I suppose he did say he liked my face eventually… 

Now here he was, getting jealous. Which was it? Are you some kind of alluring temptation or a cruel joke sent by the gods? You want to know. No, you need to know.

The man is walking ahead of you, leading you past Waterdeep’s teleport mages, out of the building. Before you both reach the door, you call out, “Astarion.”

“What?” he says, stopping to look back to you. His brows are set in an angry line, but you can tell it’s more frustration than anger.

“Do you truly think that Thomas was flirting with me?” you ask. Astarion’s eyes narrow at you and when he doesn’t answer you immediately, you continue, “I know I’m no monstrosity, but I’m certainly not a catch like some people.”

“Nonsense,” he mutters, opening the door. “How do you manage to be the smartest imbecile I know? I know Gale for gods’ sake.”

“What does that mean– oh my sweet celestial plane.”

With the doors open, the city of Waterdeep lies before you.

Your own city of Neverwinter is beautiful– a bustling city full of crafts and trade. Baldur’s Gate is, well, the Gate– a diverse city, bursting at the seams with people, places, and things to do. But this? This is the City of Splendors.

From your studies, you’re well aware that this city is the pinnacle of many things. They have the best artisans guilds, scholars whose renown extends across the Realms, Archmages like Gale. You can tell from your first look at the city that it’s steeped in history and wealth. 

Astarion looks at you, bemused, his earlier ill humor forgotten as he asks, “You haven’t been here before have you?”

“Only in my memories,” you reply, awestruck as you step out of the building and begin looking around.

“Stay close then,” he says, holding out a hand. “I wouldn’t want you to get lost.”

All of your worries have evaporated in the face of a new, wondrous place. I’ll have to ask again later, you decide, taking Astarion’s hand and beginning your trek through the city of Waterdeep.

#astarion #astarion x tav #fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion masterlist #gn reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #astarion baldurs gate #bg3 astarion #when he's all but forgotten how to love again #whabfhtla #reincarnation trope #elf!tav #astarion x you

[sseomtada]

being [ruben dias]

you finally learn the truth behind that night.

warnings: none | wc: 5565 | 3/???

“Umm, what are you wearing?” Aki lowered the bottles in her hand.

You cluelessly peered down at the clothes she’d literally seen you wearing earlier in the office. It took a while for your mind to construct the meaning of her slight chastise. Slacks and a button down was certainly not the appropriate attire for the occasion.

“Right! Shit…” You sprang into action, letting her in.

She made herself comfortable in your loft, beelining to the kitchen while you got prepared to join her in the long overdue ritual.

Some time had passed since the launch party at Nike. You’d been so busy with chasing up the next project on the agenda that your tradition had sadly slipped through the cracks. Luckily, your best friend was there to always remind you of the important stuff.

After sprinting through a shower, you slipped into a silk romper and joined her out in the living room. Her ability to whip up a master charcuterie board was out of this world. When did you even buy honey and feta?

“Early 2000s or something new?” Aki pondered as she scrolled through streaming options.

“I’m feeling modern tonight.” You replied around a cheese topped cracker.

She agreed, filtering for options within the last year. While the opening credits ran, you emptied the first bottle of wine she brought between your two glasses. That earned you a look of surprise to which you responded with a cheeky one of your own.

While you were on the more conservative side of alcohol consumption these days, you liked to let loose every now and then. What was the use of working so hard if you didn't blow off steam by getting a bit tipsy with your favorite girl?

Halfway through your glass, you started to wonder whether or not you’d made a mistake. Not on the wine, that was top tier, but the era of movie you chose. Film companies just didn’t put their soul into producing quality rom-coms like they used to.

You chugged the remainder of your Bordeaux and went in for seconds. Maybe fast tracking the intoxication would make this dry ass movie more palatable. Aki followed suit, hissing dramatically at the burn of her massive mouthful going down.

About five, or fifteen minutes passed - you honestly didn’t know now given your warped senses - before you turned to her with a grimace. She was already looking at you with an expression that made you burst into laughter.

“This movie fuckin’ sucks.” You gasped.

“I know!” Aki struggled to breathe. “I’m so sorry for picking it!”

Instead of torturing yourselves with the remainder of it, you decided to place a bet on what the ending would be. It was obvious that they’d end up together given the tone of the movie so far, but how they would get there was up for debate.

Ultimately, one Wikipedia page scan later, her guess was closer to being correct than yours.

“Okay…how about we do a drunk capsule now?” Aki dared you with her eyes.

It was an offer you couldn’t refuse, especially due to your current state. In these traditional events, nothing was off limits and everything was confined to the safety of the moment. To put it plainly, whatever either of you said couldn’t be held against you once you’d sobered up.

“Go on, I know you’ve been waiting for this forever.” You rolled your eyes playfully.

She clapped giddily, shuffling until her knees touched yours.

“Starting off a bit strong, but,” Her bottom lip reduced between her teeth. “Why haven’t you dated anyone since. You know.”

You blew a raspberry. “I-I have been on dates.”

“How many in the last year? Or two?” Aki hiccuped. “Come on, you’re still young and sexy! You should be getting pounded religiously!"

“Ew!” You slapped her leg. “Things have been really hectic with the company, you know that. I’ve barely had time to have a proper chat with my mom much less date a guy.”

That was the God’s honest truth. It was arguably a bigger task than you realistically could’ve handled, deciding to open a new branch of Bana.

The risk had to be taken, though. If you sat there trying to rationalize it through figures and statistics, you never would’ve committed to this next step that already was paying its weight in gold.

You also really needed to carve out time to call back home for more than just a quick hello.

Aki was the only other person who knew just how time consuming all of this was, so she accepted your response - albeit with an emphasized pout.

“We spoke,” She ran a finger along the rim of her wineglass. “Ruben and I.”

Your head reared back as you screwed your eyes shut. That information wasn’t too surprising considering that when you left, they both remained at the party. Still, it hit you with rather powerful force.

Trying to picture that conversation pulled your mind in several directions. Aki was a different person than you in many ways, her methods of communicating being one of them. She was far more straightforward than you were and was never the type to do a long song or dance before getting to the point.

The situation she had with him was rather complicated, though. She was collateral damage in his severance from you. His parting message to her was just as curt and painful as the one he’d sent you - with an added layer of which you now realized was the audacity he always had. 

We can’t be friends anymore. Take care of her.

Going through something like that could create deviations in anyone’s behavior. You wouldn’t hold it against her if she found herself too flustered to articulate herself properly. Especially if he’d displayed the same attitude to her that was directed towards you.

“How are you holding up?” It was embarrassing to admit that this was the first time you’d really checked in with her regarding the entire situation.

She sighed deeply and then nodded. “I’m okay, said what I needed to.”

o passado

aki

Her eyes had been on you since that giant blond man had made his way over.

Not exactly the type she’d seen you fawn over, but there was a first time for everything, right? Besides, it didn’t hurt that he was clearly acquainted with Ruben - whose gaze was glued to you and the guy like his life depended on it. Maybe it would hit him where it hurts.

She prayed it did.

“And that was basically how I figured out I was a genius!” The long winded man she was conversing with finally wrapped up his story - full cackle to boot.

“That’s amazing!” Aki matched his energy, going as far as to throw her head back for good measure.

“Was that your CEO you were sitting with - the one in the white?” His tone immediately had her eyes narrowing.

Your dress was cream, but he was a man so she’d let it slide.

While his appearance was more towards your usual taste, there was no way she’d let him near you. Not with his clearly inflated sense of importance and clear habit of never letting anyone else speak for more than ten seconds without interruption.

“Yep, that’s her.” Aki nodded proudly. It was always nice to tell people that her best friend ran a company.

“Is she single? I’m sorry that might be a bit forward, but I’m sure you’ve noticed how stunning she is.” He chuckled awkwardly.

“She…is.” The smart retort part of her brain clicked off when her gaze drifted to find you talking to Ruben.

Whatever thirsty homeboy was droning on about fell yet again on deaf ears as she watched your interaction with shallow breaths. It was the first time she’d seen him in years, stirring up strange emotions to say the least.

When he’d messaged her that night, her heart broke and sank all the way to her toes. Only a fraction of a moment passed as she tried to rationalize why she’d so suddenly lost the person who was like the brother she always wanted. Her mind almost immediately went to you.

Take care of her.

Fuck, those words still filled her with rage to this day. He knew just how deeply you were in love with him and he didn’t even have the decency to say that shit to your face, or give you a reason. He knew how badly it would break you. Yet, he did it anyway.

Aki would never forget the way every bone in your body shook as she held you. She’d never get over how the heartache ate you from the inside out, watching you turn into a hollow shell of the vibrant girl you used to be.

But more importantly, she wouldn’t ever forget watching you pick yourself back up. Piece by piece, you took shape. Watching you find and love yourself after what he put you through was the proudest she felt in your friendship.

And here he was again.

She thought she’d seen a ghost when you showed up soaking wet and in tears on her doorstep a few weeks ago. It wasn’t a question in her mind as to why you were that torn up suddenly because there was only ever one person that could do that to you.

What did Ruben want? So much time had passed, did he think that was an excuse of some sort to suddenly start popping up like a whack-a-mole? She would’t stand by idly and let him create chaos the way he once did.

Aki watched him as he watched you making your way to the exit, his expression forlorn. It twisted her insides like they were filed with bile instead of bubbly. She excused herself from Mr. Know It All and shot straight to her target.

“Ruben.”

He spun around, eyes widening. “Aki…”

“Look, I’m not interested in the past and I’m definitely not here for any kind of apology.” She breathed. “I just wanna know what you’re doing, Ruben?”

His brows pushed together, “I was just having a conversation, Akenna.”

“Don’t do that.” Her jaw ticked.

He didn’t have the right to say her full name like he used to in jest anymore. They weren’t good friends, they weren’t anything to one another as things stood - all by his doing.

“And don’t play dumb.” Aki scoffed, anger rising by the second. “You weren’t there to see the fall out. No, you were living it up as the nation’s new hot shot and embracing all that came with it. You fucking,” She pressed her nails into her palm to steady herself. “You devastated her.”

Ruben flinched. Her words and the severity of it all finally seeming to click into place. She could see the thoughts swimming around his mind, imagining probably the worse case scenario that she bet wouldn’t even scratch the surface of reality. The air around the two hung heavy, as still as a day with no wind to sway the trees.

“I’m not trying to hurt Y/N, or you, again.” He eventually whispered.

That was rich, was she just supposed to take his word for it? Aki sized him up with scrutiny, wondering what position he thought he would get into with you both to repeat such a thing. Yet despite all her glaring, she still couldn't grasp his intentions.

Maybe deep down, she didn't want to.

In any case, by the looks of him, life had appeared to go unjustly in his favor despite his misdeeds. While that was an annoying observation, she chose to cling to the other side of it. She decided to celebrate that you were infinite miles away from the version of yourself he’d last seen.

A new form of yourself that she'd silently vowed to protect at all costs.

“Then whatever you trying to do, stop.” Aki warned. “She’s in a good place now, don’t ruin that.”

o presente

you

Whatever she was able to get off her chest seemed to provide her with relief.

That left you grinning. Heartbroken or not, Aki stuck to her guns. It made you promise silently to yourself that you’d adopt her stance. If you ever crossed paths with him again, though you should say when since it seemed all but inevitable in this city, you’d lay it all out on the table.

“So…have you tried Hinge?” Aki smiled sheepishly.

You exclaimed and pounced on her, smacking her with a sofa cushion as the light-hearted mood returned. She was surprisingly agile for someone so tipsy, narrowly dodging most of your blows with full bellied laughs.

I’m just doing your mom’s bidding - ah, watch the face!

The small brawl ended just as quickly as it started. Your tolerance was far below what it used to be, lethargy taking over your limbs. With a huff, you flopped onto the carpet. Aki raised your head to tuck a pillow beneath it before assuming a cozy position of her own.

“We’re gonna regret drinking this much tomorrow aren’t we?” You groaned, a hand running over your tummy.

“Nothing a good, hot cup of coffee can’t fix.” She yawned.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Even after shaking the last of a double shot into your mouth, you were laced with regret. As much as you adored celebrating last night, you currently wished you could’ve slept it off a bit longer.

However, duty called. You had two meetings to knock out and needed to get through a morning brief about both of them.

“Wow, you guys look…” Cindy tried and failed to hide her shock.

“Don’t worry,” Aki pushed her sunglasses up to her hair. “I brought the emergency makeup kit.”

“Let’s just get through this quickly.” You grimaced, clutching at your blouse.

As Cindy walked you guys through all the research she compiled, you chugged down a liter of water to bring your insides back to life. On top of regretting taking wine to the head, you felt guilty about letting a bit loose while she was probably busy working.

Another mental note: give her additional vacation days.

Erling’s online presence was pretty standard for a public figure and athlete. His social media was tightly managed as well. That was obviously smart on his part, enough people in similar standing had sometimes irredeemable flubs by not thinking before posting.

The water was kicking in, leaving your mind devising the skeleton of a pitch. It might’ve been jumping the gun a bit since you still didn’t know their hopes for partnering with Bana.

You always liked to be prepared for anything though, especially when it came to working with busy clients like him. Quick thinking could easily be the difference between success and failure.

“Uh, guys.” Cindy tapped her phone. “You’re gonna need to get started on using that kit - Erling’s assistant just asked if you could meet him for lunch instead.”

Aki yelped, immediately rifling through her bag. You high sprinted to the bathroom to empty your bladder before rejoining the room. After a quick touch up to make you resemble the human species again, you gathered everything you needed.

Since the meeting had been moved up, it would clash with a virtual call you had with another potential client. Cindy volunteered to stay behind to cover given that she was the only one other than yourself with extensive marketing knowledge.

“Where are we headed for this lunch?” You slung your tote over your shoulder.

“City training grounds.” Cindy pulled a face. “Not the most glamorous, but I guess he’s staying on brand?”

Your mind immediately went there. Of course it did, it wouldn’t be normal if he didn’t make an appearance in your thoughts when hearing the location. What you were grateful for, though, was that there was no sinking feeling. No ache in your chest or pit in your stomach, just neutrality.

Aki looped her arm around your free one and tapped your bicep. “Let’s catch this fish.”

“Good luck!” Cindy waved as you exited.

Uncharacteristically, you were the one that had to be forcefully awoken and shoved into the shower this morning. That meant Aki drove you both to work, so you hopped into her passenger seat once more as she fired up the engine.

“What do they even eat there?” She pulled up the address on maps. “Baked chicken and sweet potatoes?”

You snorted loudly. “I don’t think they have a whole team of chefs just to make Instagram fitness bro meal preps.”

Aki made a noise of agreement and then got to daydreaming aloud about their potential offerings. Her imagination had your stomach growling. You hadn’t been able to even sniff the muffins in the cafe earlier without turning green in the face, but you were finally entering the phase of your belly signaling for sustenance.

Her phone rang with an unsaved number on her dashboard. You pulled a face at her suggesting that it could be one of the suitors she’d been seeing under the guise of getting to know the new city. She bit at you like a puppy before answering.

“Hi Akenna, this is Meredith from Dr. Johnson’s office. We’re just confirming your visit today at twelve thirty.” The voice sounded out.

Aki’s mouth dropped open as she looked over to you. “H-hi Meredith! I…”

You didn’t know she had a doctor’s visit scheduled and by the looks of it, she didn’t recall either. That was one hundred percent okay with you. Obviously, her health came before anything else. Your head nodded incessantly, urging her to confirm.

“I will be there.” The words sounded as if she’d dragged them from the bottom of a deep well.

“Cheers! We’ll see you soon.” Meredith disconnected the call.

“Is everything okay?” That was your main concern at the moment.

She groaned. “Yeah, it’s just time for a routine check up with the pussypractor.”

You let out a laugh. Being happy at her using that word to describe her gynecologist was far from your normal reaction, but you welcomed it in place of the fear you’d felt for a minute.

“I’m glad you’re taking care of your magic conch.” You relaxed back into your seat.

“Are you gonna be okay? I feel bad leaving you there all alone.” Aki pouted.

“I’ll be fine.” You shot her a grin. “I’m just going to complete the mission and get back ASAP.”

Whether or not she was convinced remained a mystery. That question was a double edged sword, but so was your answer. You weren’t going there with any intention beside getting your job done.

And feeding the beast in your belly.

Thankfully, the grounds weren’t too far away and traffic wasn’t as horrendous as usual. She turned her car into the security checkpoint that went by without a hitch since they’d been notified of your arrival beforehand.

“This is…weird.” Aki peered around after parking out front.

It was like deja vu. Seeing the turf, hearing the sprinklers in the distance - your senses were all lit up and connecting the dots to your past experiences in a similar environment.

“Yeah.” You refocused on the task at hand, opening the car door. “I’ll see you at home. Want me to bring over an ice pack?”

“I’ll probably already have beat you to it, smart ass.” Aki shook her head. “Text me when you’re back.”

The lady at the front greeted you brightly and let you know that Erling’s assistant would be out shortly. In the meantime, you busied yourselves with taking a look at the large pictures lining the walls. Where City clearly had the money, they also had the success. Image after image were filled with bright smiles, medals and trophies.

“Y/N, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” A young brunette woman appeared into your impromptu gallery viewing.

“Likewise.” You shook hands, extending a smile.

“Please, this way.” She directed you to follow her down a hallway.

Animated voices became louder the further you walked and the smell of rich flavors filled your nose. Whatever was being cooked was so far from barely seasoned cutlets and bland potatoes. Your stride hitched at the sound of one particularly loud laugh.

Right. It must be lunch break for the entire squad.

Just as your ears started to ring, unwanted sensations deciding to make their return, she pivoted off to the left to deviate your path from the cafeteria. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding just as your eyes looked back to catch Ruben’s - wide and confused, watching you disappear around the bend.

Coming somewhat prepared worked well in your favor.

Erling had a rough idea of what he wanted to do, but first asked your opinion about the direction you would suggest. Given the current era socially and culturally, coupled with the timeline of his playing career being almost predefined, you focused on building a diverse brand that spoke to longevity.

Football itself was such a vast world with many paths. You constructed a plan in front of him that held his passion at the center surrounded by interest that could tie back into it. If he wanted to expand his humanitarian efforts, a foundation was always the best bet - donating to boys and girls sporting programs, hosting summer camps, auctioning iconic jerseys for a cause.

Partnerships were the biggest way to expand image wise. Of course, there were the well known luxury brands that would die to have him as their ambassadors. If he wanted to hone in on a relatable image, he could partner with more affordable brands for an athletic line.

You wanted to show him that there was a world of possibility that was easily within his reach. All he had to do essentially was point the team at Bana in the direction he wanted to do and you would get it done.

Erling was extremely pleased with what you pitched to him. His assistant took notes for him to go over later in order to single out where he wanted to start, and get back to you guys with contract details. You were left buzzing with pride and very full with the most delicious chicken salad you ever had.

“I’m excited to see where this partnership takes us.” He beamed as he walked you back to the entrance.

“We intend to take you as far as you want to go.” You promised.

Him and his assistant headed out to his next appointment after you said your goodbyes. There wasn’t anything else on the agenda for the day now with both that meeting and the virtual one at the office being done.

You figured you might as well head home to check on Aki. Also, turning in early for a good night’s rest would be the best thing you could do for your body.

You requested a ride back to your place and hoped the wait would be less than 10 minutes. The confirmation came back to show that the driver was just under that, which nearly made you roll your eyes. Instead, you decided to be grateful and message Cindy to see how her call went.

“Are you going to wait eight minutes for Jeremy to pick you up?”

Your head craned to spot Ruben peering at your phone over your shoulder. Though there was nothing to hide, as well as him already seeing what was on your screen, you tucked the device into your chest and spun around.

“Obviously.” You cleared your throat.

“Why would you do that?” His gaze was scrutinizing.

“It’s what one does when they left their car at home and require a lift.” The hand holding your phone tilted it back slightly - six minutes.

“Come with me.” Ruben boldly suggested.

The laugh that left you was incredulous, there was that fucking audacity again. Under what circumstance would you get into his car with him?

You were actually starting to wonder, seriously, without any offense, whether or not he was entirely there mentally. It was like he had no recollection of what he’d done to you.

Or worse, that he didn’t care.

“No.” Your eyes turned downwards again - four minutes.

“Let me take you home.” He reached out to take hold of your wrist.

There was a slight tremble to your mouth that you were quick to shut down by pinning your lips together. Those words shoved your mind through a wormhole back to all those warm nights in Amadora. Your backpack slung over his shoulder, his fingers laced through yours. Both of your laughs bouncing off concrete structure lined streets.

“Absolutely not.” You spoke weakly.

A step too late, you registered his movement. Your small lunge was futile against his giant step back after he’d snatched the phone away from your unsuspecting grip. Getting onto your tippy toes was even more useless against his extended arm as he canceled your ride.

“Please, I owe you that.” Ruben handed it back to you. “And everything else you need to hear from me.”

Freedom of choice in this situation was an illusion. The opportunity to gain all the clarity you sought, all the answers to the questions that haunted you for years, landed in your lap without any effort on your end. Did the option of rebooking a ride share move the needle away from you wanting to know everything?

Not even an inch.

“Okay.” You conceded, motioning for him to lead the way.

Ruben walked you over to his jeep and opened the passenger door for you before you could even try. The gesture that once made you feel giddy did little to stir anything in you today. You fastened your seatbelt and placed your tote on your lap as he got in.

“Now would be a good time to,” He pointed at his console.

“Right…” You pulled up his gps to enter your address.

“Before you think something weird, just a warning that I’m leaving from the service exit.” His car spun in the opposite direction that you entered in. “Things get a bit crazy in the front with the fans and all.”

Wow, what a hero. You didn’t know whether or not to thank him for at least respecting your right to privacy, so you stayed silent and offered a nod.

The first few minutes of the ride stayed much like that - quiet. You wished he hadn’t turned off the music immediately as the car started. Whatever he listened to these days would’ve been miles better than the sound of his smooth engine running and the hissing of his tires on the lightly misted road.

“I’m sorry about the other night.” Ruben spoke alas. “It wasn’t my place to step in with a stupid suggestion like that.”

“No, it wasn’t.” At least you both agreed on that much.

He chuckled at your swift concur. “Everything went well with Erling then, I suppose.”

“You’re on a roll, Dias.” You said drily. “Two for two.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed, catching your attention from the corner of your eye. It was becoming apparent to him that this interaction wasn’t going to happen the way he imagined - whatever that may have been.

Did he expect you to be the same doe eyed girl you were seven years ago? Even without your shared history, that would’ve been an extremely naive ideal.

“Y/N…” Ruben tapped his steering wheel. “About that night…”

You dared to look at him for the first time during the ride. All over his face was the war he was fighting in his mind. As stupid and misplaced as it was, you actually felt a bit sorry for him. He had been a source of pain for you for so long, yet you still couldn’t stand to see him experiencing discomfort.

“Was it something I did, something I said?” Your biggest insecurity fell out uncontrollably. “Was it me?”

“No.” He interjected swiftly, almost angrily.

“What made you do it?” The question being posed directly to him after all this time didn’t offer you what you’d hoped.

You thought that if you had ever came to this moment, you would be on some sort of emotional pedestal. So far out of reach and so beyond what had transpired that no response he gave would have a great impact.

In actuality, it was completely the opposite. You didn’t feel elevated or safe out of reach from any negative outcome. Sitting beside him, getting swallowed up by his big leather seats, you felt small and vulnerable.

You were afraid.

“When I sent that message - those messages - it didn’t even feel like it was me.” Ruben appeared to be focused on the road ahead, but his eyes were distant. “I never felt like I truly deserved you. Sometimes when I looked at you, that feeling was overwhelming. I saw how much I meant to you, knew you’d do anything for me, maybe even give up everything for me…and I can admit it now that in those moments I was right about myself.”

He was really on a hot streak here. Three for three because you also felt like it wasn’t him speaking to you that night, or shutting off the lights on you. Four for four, actually. You would’ve done anything for him and yes, even given up everything if it meant you got to be with him.

The last part confused you though.

“Right about what?” You sought out comprehension.

“I didn’t deserve you.” Ruben provided it. “Because anyone who did wouldn’t have felt pressured by that. They would’ve stepped up even more and lived up to be the kind of person who was worthy of that kind of love. Instead, I was the type who was convinced that it was too much and ran away from it. I selfishly cut my emotions off and did what I did, not even considering the outcome.”

The fear you had was replaced with disappointment. You truthfully didn’t know what you expected his explanation to be. Maybe it wouldn’t have felt like this if he had said he started having feelings for someone else, or any other partially plausible explanation.

You guessed this was just as rational as all others in his mind, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around it. The guy you knew never showed any signs of wavering in confidence or expressed the slightest doubt that he was deserving to be deeply loved.

A part of you understood that everyone all wore masks, especially around the people they wanted to appear to be strong for. But he never had to do that with you. At least, you thought he knew that he didn’t have to pretend to be anything when he was with you.

“Ruben…” Your gripped tightened around your tote straps.

What could you even say at this point? The one expectation you did have that was met when you got into this car was that you’d received an explanation. It was just difficult to come to terms with the fact that all of your whys boiled down to something so simple yet complex.

Insecurity was an easy emotion to name, but far from that to dissect. And it certainly made people do often very shameful and hurtful things. Still, knowing all of that did nothing to ease the ache you felt watching him bite the inside of his cheek.

The drive suddenly didn’t feel so long as you realized he was pulling up to your building’s entrance. He put the car in park and reached to leave to get your door, but your hand quickly shot out to touch his arm.

“I’ve got it.” You slowly let it fall to unbuckle your seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride.”

Ruben left it until the very last second, calling your name as you were about to shut the door.

“I’m sorry for everything I put you through.” His shiny brown eyes held yours for as long as you could take before you finally sealed it shut.

You rushed inside, not daring to look back so that your tears could fall unnoticed. With rasps of breaths falling from your lips as you pressed your head against the back of the elevator, massaging the space over your heart, you found yourself asking a new question.

What would you do now, knowing that which you’ve longed to?

#ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x you #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias fic #being

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: July 2023 ~  

🕶️ Happy August!!! 🌻

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff!  -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Be Mine SuperStar - July 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 - July 5th (Japan)  

🌟 Stay by My Side - July 7th (Taiwan)

🌟 Stay With Me - July 7th (China, censored) 

🌟 Senior Love Me? (short film) - July 7th (Thailand) 

🌟 Low Frequency - July 8th (Thailand)

🌟 Hidden Agenda - July 9th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Bump Up Business - July 9th (South Korea) 

🌟 Laws of Attraction - July 15th (Thailand)

🌟 The Star Season 2 - July 15th (Myanmar) 

🌟 Wedding Plan - July 19th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 After Sundown - July 20th (Thailand, cinema-release)

🌟 Jun and Jun - July 20th (South Korea)  

🌟 Monochrome (short film) - July 25th (Thailand) 

🌟 Papa, What Is Love? Season 2 - July 28th (Philippines) 

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ Be Mine Superstar - once in a while a trashy low budget show comes along and hits just the right spot - this is that show lmao. I was looking forward to seeing JaFirst again but I did not expect to like it this much lol. It’s ridiculous but the kind that makes me laugh a lot. JaFirst completely reversing their roles has me rolling and is working extremely well. Love Stage vibes all around. I love it so far. 

New series & movie announcements

🎥 Night Dream - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 I Love You I Kill You (novel adaption) - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 Beyond The Duo (short film) - Date TBA (Myanmar) 

🎥 UniverSad (novel adaption) - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 Iridescent love - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 Nai Hia Bok Mai Chop Dek - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 The Hell Guards (Hey Don't Mess With My Heart) - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 Even If I Try To Fall In Love With You (君となら恋をしてみても, manga adaption) - Date TBA (Japan) 

🎥 Wishing Upon the Shooting Stars - Date TBA (Taiwan) 

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand) 

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The following BL productions & actors won at this year’s Asia Top Awards 2023:

Ohm Thitiwat: Best Actor (609 Bedtime Story)

Tar Atiwat: Rising Star (I Will Knock You)

PeeTitle: Popularity Award (La Pluie)

Gun Napat: Best Performance in a BL (Luminous Solution) 

Mew Suppasit: Best Serial Actor (Love Me Again) 

KinnPorsche: Most Popular BL Series

❗️ Former StarHunter actor Bas Suradet (2Moons, Gen Y) has joined Studio WabiSabi, along with 4 other new faces in their New Generation Lineup. 

❗️ The novel ไหนเฮียบอกไม่ชอบเด็ก will be adapted into a series by MFlow Entertainment. Auditions are currently being held. Further details are unknown. 

❗️ The upcoming GMMTV BL Cherry Magic released its pilot trailer after an 8 month delay due to copyright issues. Workshops are currently happening. The show will likely air in early 2024.  

❗️ GMMTV announced that GeminiFourth will no longer be part of the upcoming BL/GL drama 23.5 due to changes in storylines & characters. They have been replaced by View Benyapa and June Wanwimol who will play the roles of Aylin & Luna, making it a GL-only drama. Further cast additions include Ciize Rutricha and others. 

❗️ Actor Tul Pakorn (Together With Me, Manner of Death) announced his retirement from acting as he is pursuing a career in real estate in New York after getting his master’s degree. 

❗️ The upcoming Domundi BL Middleman's Love has started workshops. The show will likely air towards the end of the year. 

❗️ The Japanese BL Ossan's Love is rumored to get a third season which will likely premiere in January 2024. Further details are unknown. 

❗️ The Norwegian web series SKAM (2015-2017) will get a Korean adaption called Skam Korea. The series has a total of 7 remakes from 6 European countries + the US. Auditions are currently being held. 

❗️ GeminiFourth announced that they will be starring in another BL series which will be a novel adaption. Further details are unknown. 

Upcoming series & movies for August

👉🏻 Stay Still - August 1st (Hong Kong) 

👉🏻 Sing My Crush - August 2nd (South Korea) 

👉🏻 The New Employee (movie version) - August 3rd (South Korea) 

👉🏻 Love in Translation - August 5th (Thailand) 

👉🏻 My Personal Weatherman - August 11th (Japan) 

👉🏻 Love Class Season 2 - August 11th (South Korea) 

👉🏻 Only Friends - August 12th (Thailand) 

👉🏻 Friend. Boy Friend - August 19th (Thailand) 

👉🏻 Lucky Love - August 20th (Thailand) 

👉🏻 My Universe - August 20th (Thailand) 

👉🏻 Kiseki: Dear to Me - August 22nd (Taiwan) 

👉🏻 Why R U? Korean Remake - August 24th (South Korea) 

👉🏻 Crazy Handsome Rich - August TBA (Thailand) 

#doreens monthly bl breakdown #thai bl #bl drama #upcoming bl #update #bl news #august is gonna be wild im so ready #bring it

[sitp-recs]

Save the Date by @mallstars

Harry/Draco (2023, Explicit, 123k)

In the twelve years after the war, Harry attends sixteen weddings. As friends and acquaintances vow their lives to one another, he watches quietly from the sidelines. Step by step, Harry pieces himself back together, builds a life from the wreckage of his past and falls, slowly and thoroughly, for Draco Malfoy. A story told in sixteen parts, of patient and transformative love, of queerness, of reaching out and holding on. Featuring plenty of pining, Gilderoy Lockhart getting married in a fever dream of glitter and product placement, and Rita Skeeter spitting a steady stream of venom at Harry and Draco's every move.

“Perhaps this was how much of Divination worked. Showing you something you wanted, or didn't want, and urging you along a path. Sitting in the freezing ground on a Bulgarian mountain as the sun commenced its journey up the sky, Harry made a decision. He would get to know someone, the way he knew Ron and Hermione. Better, even, if he was capable of that. It was evident, really, who he wanted that person to be - and Padma seemed to approve. It had to be Draco Malfoy.”

Since I’ve been talking and getting asks about my most recent read I’ve decided this would be a good opportunity to write a brand new rec, and hopefully send more people on their way to this story. I’ve been in the mood for longer fics lately but it’s getting harder and harder to binge anything over 30k, so instead of pressuring myself to rush through it I’ve decided to take my sweet time and embrace the experience over the past week.

Curiously, I found this fic thanks to the author herself! We bonded over our shared interest in a niche fic kink (isn’t that how it always starts!) and she mentioned that earlier this year she published her first fic, one she was very proud of. Naturally I had to ask for a link to check it out and I’m so happy that I did. This story is a long, aching and deeply emotional love letter to Harry, carefully exploring his trauma and post-war struggles in such a compassionate way it gave me a lump in the throat. From dealing with his childhood abuse and a general lack of sense of purpose after the war, to coming to terms with his fame and sexuality to finally allowing himself to be happy and fulfill his resolution: getting to know someone, deeply. I love how that scene puts everything into motion, giving the fic a magical and serendipitous tone that helped me get through the angsty slow burn knowing that Drarry was more than endgame, it was inevitable. The tea leaves willed so!!!!

We follow Harry’s melancholy and introspective POV for about 12 years, each one marked by a different wedding he attends. There’s this weary wistfulness about the way he sees things that really touched me, as he struggles to find his place and pines on for Draco. We celebrate the friends and acquaintances we get to know through his eyes, one wedding at a time - and what a fantastic cast! I especially loved seeing more of Angelina as she’s not usually explored in fic. From Blaise’s to Lockhart’s to Ron’s to Hagrid’s, each wedding ceremony offers a new setting for Harry’s self-reflection and advances the Drarry agenda offering him new ways to get to know Draco and himself. They don’t always meet or talk but Draco’s always at the back of his mind, even before the resolution is made, and I found that quite romantic!

I wasn’t expecting this fic to span over so many years but instead of never-ending pain where you don’t quite understand why they can’t kiss and make out already, Harry’s pining is soft and tentative; it allows him to grow, explore his own sexuality and learn how to be comfortable in his own skin before reaching out to Draco. Despite being unavailable for some time, we don’t really need Draco’s POV to know he’s aching for Harry just as desperately. But we do get a glimpse of his mind through their correspondence, which is how they actually fall in love.

Watching their friendship blossom through the letters made me so soft and happy I didn’t want it to end. I think that was my favourite chapter and and I’m not even that much of an epistolary enthusiast! But their written exchanges create the most delicious anticipation and oh, when they finally get together they’re both so sure and devoted to each other it feels earned and right. I love how the fic paces the progression of Harry’s initial obsession towards a calmer, reserved and patient love. Just like he wished many years before, he gets to know someone deeply: this reformed and fascinating tea shop owner Draco, who adores his mom, is there for his friends, says Harry’s name with adoration and has a fondness for flowers and owls 🥹

If you’re looking for a cathartic pining!Harry journey, with gentle slow burn and satisfying payoff - the endearments! the smut! be still my heart - this long fic is an absolute treat. Check it out today then let’s get started on @mallstars’s new time loop wip!

Read on AO3!

#Drarry fic rec

[seungminsbaldspot]

Our own Gallary

Pairing:  Jun x Reader 

Synopsis: its your first anniversary with your lover, wen junhui 

Spoiler: no spoiler for this one!

Word Count: 2,063

Genre: tooth-rotting fluff probably 

Warnings: cursing, just lots of fluff, Nicknames such as but not limited to “My love, Lover, My lover” , reader is an artsy person (loves to paint, and visit art museums) 

Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTEST FRIEND EVER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOURE SO OLD HAHAHAH

“Wake up my love.” A kind, gentle voice says, and your eyes immensely flutter open. As your eyes flutter open, you are met with the man of your dreams. And your reality too. 

Wen JunHui is your lover. And has officially been your lover for one year now. Jun had previously told you that he was going to go all out for your first anniversary together, and he was not lying. 

When your brain focuses, you can smell the breakfast that Jun had prepared for you. “Breakfast my love.” He softly says, motioning towards the door. You always stood firmly by brushing your teeth after breakfast so, rolling out of bed and eating was not anything abnormal. 

Jun leads you to the table, where your favorite breakfast foods await you. “I prepared them this morning. I hope you enjoy them.” You smile softly at the tall man in front of you, kissing him on the cheek, “Thank you, my love.” He smiles, “Anything for you.” He says, sitting across from you, also eating his breakfast. 

Once breakfast was eaten, Jun stood up, “Now would you like to sleep again or go out?” He asked. “Sleep in, as always.” He smiles, “I knew you were going to say that. Go ahead and lie down. Let me clean these dishes and then I will be in there with you my love.” You nod, What a good man Wen Junhui is. 

As to his promise, after hearing the running after stopping, you feel the spot in the mattress beside you dip down. You feel his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you tightly to him. His warmth lulls you back to sleep. 

After an hour or so, Jun decides to wake you up once again, “My love?” He says, gently shaking you to wake you. Your eyes flutter open again, waking you to the beautiful man you call your lover. 

“We have the smallish bit of schedule to attend to.” Jun says, patting your head like a child. You only hum in response. You love it when Jun schedules dates and he has a bit of an itinerary to attend to. 

With a soft smile, you stretch and sit up, feeling the warmth of the morning sunlight streaming through the curtains. Jun hands you a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, perfectly brewed just the way you like it. The aroma fills the room, making the awakening even more pleasant.

As you sip your drink, Jun hands you a carefully crafted envelope. Inside, there's a mini itinerary for the day, detailing the surprises he has in store for you. The excitement builds as you read through the plans, and you can't help but marvel at Jun's thoughtfulness. 

The first item on the agenda is a visit to a nearby botanical garden. Jun has chosen this serene location for a romantic stroll amidst blooming flowers and lush greenery. Hand in hand, you explore the garden, occasionally stopping for Jun to surprise you with a heartfelt compliment or a gentle kiss.

After the botanical garden stroll, Jun has planned Lunch at a cozy restaurant with an amazing view. Jun has reserved a table by the window, allowing you to enjoy a delightful meal while taking in a scenic backdrop. The atmosphere is perfect for engaging in conversations and sharing laughter as you relish the delicious cuisine.

In such a pleasant setting, time seems to slow down, allowing you to fully immerse yourselves in the moment. The combination of good company, delicious food, and a scenic backdrop creates a lasting memory that you can cherish. 

As the afternoon unfolds, Jun leads you to a charming art studio where a painting class is about to begin. The studio is filled with natural light, and the scent of acrylic paints lingers in the air. The atmosphere is relaxed, fostering creativity and expression.

As you enter the studio, you notice an easel set up with a blank canvas, paintbrushes of various sizes, and an array of vibrant colors. Soft music plays in the background, adding to the soothing ambiance. Jun, with a warm smile, reveals that this painting class was chosen because of your shared love for art and creativity.

The instructor welcomes both of you and provides guidance on the painting project for the day. The subject is a beautiful landscape, and you feel a sense of excitement as you prepare to unleash your artistic talents. Jun and you share laughter and conversation as you dip your brushes into the paint and bring the canvas to life.

Throughout the class, you and Jun exchange tips, share thoughts on color choices and marvel at each other's unique interpretations of the landscape. The shared experience strengthens your connection and the love that the two of you have for each other. 

As the painting class comes to an end, you step back to admire the finished masterpieces. You're amazed at the beauty that emerged from a blank canvas, and at the beauty of the man before you. At the man who you love.

After the class, Jun planned on visiting the nearby art gallery to continue this wonderful anniversary date. As you walk hand in hand with Jun into the art gallery, you can't help but feel a sense of warmth and joy. The atmosphere is filled with anticipation and the promise of a delightful anniversary date. Jun's gesture of holding your hands and swinging them adds an extra layer of intimacy, making the experience even more special.

"I know you have been wanting to visit here for a while, my love," Jun says with a gentle smile. You return the smile, appreciating the effort he's put into planning this meaningful day. "This place is beautiful, Jun," you express, genuinely touched by the thoughtful surprise.

He hums in response, a contented sound that reflects the shared excitement of exploring the art gallery together. The two of you make your way to the section featuring sculptures, and Jun takes the lead. The room is filled with an array of three-dimensional masterpieces, each telling a unique story through form and texture.

Jun stops in front of a particularly striking sculpture and begins to share his thoughts. "Look at how the artist has captured movement and emotion in this piece," he remarks, his eyes reflecting genuine appreciation. You join in the conversation, discussing the intricacies of the sculptures and sharing your own interpretations.

Jun, with a keen understanding of your preferences, leads the way to a section featuring contemporary paintings. As you enter the space, you're immediately drawn to the vibrant colors, bold strokes, and intriguing narratives conveyed by the artworks on display. Jun smiles, pleased that he could tailor this part of the visit to your favorite art exhibits.

"Thought you might enjoy these," he says, gesturing towards the canvases that adorn the walls. The paintings range from abstract expressions to thought-provoking realism, each piece telling a unique story. Together, you begin to explore the details and nuances of the contemporary art on display.

Jun, knowing your appreciation for the finer points in art, points out subtleties you might have missed. The two of you engage in a lively conversation about the meanings behind the paintings, the techniques employed by the artists, and the emotions evoked by the different pieces. The gallery becomes a canvas of shared exploration and connection.

As you move from one painting to another, Jun's thoughtful choice of the contemporary art section enhances your overall gallery experience. You feel a sense of gratitude for having someone who not only values your interests but actively participates in them, making this anniversary date all the more special.

As you and Jun continue your exploration of the art gallery, you come across a section dedicated to photography. Jun's eyes light up with excitement as he discovers this part of the exhibition, and you can see the genuine enthusiasm in his expression. It's clear that the prospect of delving into the world of photographic storytelling resonates with him.

Jun leads you to the photographs, each frame capturing a moment frozen in time, telling its own unique story. The images range from candid shots to carefully composed scenes, showcasing the diverse perspectives of the photographers. Jun takes a moment to absorb the visual narratives, and then he turns to you with a spark of curiosity in his eyes.

"Photography has this incredible way of capturing emotions and stories in a single frame," he comments, his enthusiasm contagious. "Let's take our time and appreciate each one." The two of you begin to explore the photographs, discussing the composition, lighting, and the emotions conveyed by the images.

As you delve deeper into the visual stories, you find yourselves sharing personal interpretations and connecting with the photographers' perspectives. The photographic exhibit becomes a space for contemplation and conversation, adding another layer to your artistic journey.

Jun's genuine interest in the photographs enhances the experience, and you appreciate how this shared exploration deepens your connection. The gallery visit becomes not just a celebration of art but a celebration of the unique bond you share—a bond that finds expression in the stories told through both paintbrush strokes and the click of a camera shutter.

You really did love this man. 

As you both exit the gallery, Jun gently reminds you of the next surprise he has in store. The anticipation builds as you wonder what delightful dinner plans he has arranged for the evening. The thoughtfulness he put into the art gallery visit makes you even more eager to discover what awaits you.

You follow Jun to the dinner location, and as you arrive, you're greeted by a cozy ambiance and the enticing aroma of delicious food. The evening unfolds with shared laughter, delightful cuisine, and the joy of being in each other's company. The celebration of your love continues, seamlessly blending the appreciation of art with the warmth of shared moments.

In the quiet moments between courses, you reflect on the day and realize how much Jun's thoughtfulness and shared experiences have deepened your connection. The celebration goes beyond the material surprises, becoming a beautiful symphony of shared interests, love, and genuine companionship.

As the evening comes to an end, you can't help but feel grateful for the wonderful person by your side. The gallery visit and the carefully planned dinner become cherished memories, woven into the fabric of your relationship. You find yourself falling in love with Jun all over again, appreciating the effort he puts into making your time together truly special.

After the wonderful dinner, Jun holds your hand, guiding you to a little park across the street. He stops underneath a tree, turning and facing you. As Jun holds your hand, there's a warmth in his touch that reflects the genuine connection you share. His eyes, filled with affection, meet yours. The quiet rustle of leaves and the distant sounds of the city create a serene backdrop for what promises to be a special moment.

With a gentle smile, Jun begins to express his feelings, "Tonight has been incredible, and every moment with you feels like a work of art. From the gallery to this moment under the tree, I wanted to create memories that reflect the beauty and depth of what we have."

He pauses, allowing the words to settle in the air. The love and care he put into planning this anniversary celebration are evident, and you find yourself moved by his sincerity.

"I love you," Jun says, his voice carrying the weight of those three words. "And I look forward to many more moments like these, where we can continue creating our own gallery of memories."

The park, the tree, and the city lights bear witness to this declaration of love. In this quiet corner of the world, you and Jun share a moment that feels timeless, a chapter in the ongoing story of your relationship. “You’ve made this night literally so perfect. Not even just this night, this whole day. I have no idea how I was so lucky to end up with a man like you.” 

As you respond with your own feelings, the night becomes a canvas for the emotions you've shared, and the love you feel for each other deepens beneath the branches of the tree, in this little park that now holds a special place in your hearts.

tags: @todorokikettlephobia aka Kia aka my love aka my bestie aka my wife aka my pookie aka my bear aka my mate aka my boo aka my boo bear aka my honey bunches of oats aka my favorite sweater aka my favorite flavor aka my dear aka my…

#kpop #kpop boys #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #svt x reader #svt #svt fluff #seventeen #svt jun #wen junhui #moon junhui #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seungkwan #hoshi #mingyu #wonwoo #jun

[dustedmagazine]

Slept Ons: 2023

Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter

If you write for Dusted, you listen to music all the time and you try, at least within your general area of interest, to stay current with what’s current. Ask any of our significant others, and they’ll say we listen to too much music, to which we inevitably reply “What’s that, this ‘too much’ you speak of?” We listen to music while we’re eating, while we’re working, while we’re exercising, while we’re driving from one place to another, even while we’re brushing our teeth sometimes; though, admittedly, the sound quality is not that great in the bathroom.

Even so, we miss things. Here, in what has become an annual tradition, we revisit some of the albums that slipped away in one fashion or another, the ones that we kept putting off until it was too late, the ones we somehow didn’t catch wind of until well into January, the ones we discovered tardily on other people’s lists and year-end podcasts and radio shows. So here are our late finds, a favorite or two each that we never got the chance to write about. Fortunately, unlike bread and fresh fruit and bunches of cilantro, albums don’t go bad if you let them sit for a while.

Die Enttäuschung und Alexander Von Schlippenbach — Monk’s Casino Live At Au Topsi Pohl (Two Nineteen)

This record wasn’t so much slept on as patiently sleuthed. Die Enttäuschung, the long-running German quartet (their name translates as The Disappointment, an appellation that says more about their sense of humor than the quality of their ever-buoyant reimagining of bebop and early free jazz) started selling it at gigs in the spring of 2023. I bided my time, and when I made it to Berlin last fall, scoring a copy was on my agenda. To this day, the record and the internet are near strangers; while you can buy it from Bandcamp, there’s no download, streaming or videos. So, you’ll have to just take it from me that Die Enttäuschung’s reunion with now-octogenarian pianist Alexander von Schlippenbach will take wrinkles off your brow. The first time that these musicians recorded together as Monk’s Casino, back in 2005, they performed every one of Thelonious Monk’s compositions over three CDs; pith was essential. The repertoire hasn’t changed this time, but the approach is looser. Crammed into the intimate confines of the now-shuttered Au Topsi Pohl just as Omicron started ruining parties, the five musicians goose the tempos, spike the solos with impertinence, and veer around Monk’s sharp angles with a combination of intimate familiarity and belt-busting abandon.

Bill Meyer

Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter — SAVED! (Perpetual Flame Ministries)

Not slept on so much as avoided— and why, at this point I am not entirely sure. When I saw Kristin Hayter perform under her previous Lingua Ignota moniker back in December of 2022, she opened with a set of devotional songs on piano, a variety of metallic objects set and chains draped across the instrument’s interior string works. It was extraordinary, and SAVED! features the same basic set of raw, austere elements: that prepared piano, Hayter’s remarkable voice and the problematics of faith. The avoidance may stem from my own fraught relations to the sort of grim Protestantism Hayter reimagines; I spend some time around fire-and-brimstone Baptism as a child, and it left a mark on me. She wove some of that language and those textures into the excellent Lingua Ignota record Sinner Get Ready, but there they were much more symbolic, and largely couched in specific fundamentalisms (Amish and Mennonite) that distanced them somewhat. The sounds and spiritual gestures on SAVED! are a good deal more familiar to me, and they haunt. Likely the haunting is the point. Certainly “All of My Friends Are Going to Hell” and “I Know His Blood Can Make Me Whole” smolder and then burn with varieties of hellfire I have smelled before. One can also hear those songs more metaphorically, and “I Will Be with You Always” (the best thing on the record) is replete with images and intensities that call to multiple levels of meaning, simultaneously and sublimely. SAVED! is a hard record for me to listen to, and that’s why I have come, somewhat belatedly, to prize it so highly.

Jonathan Shaw

Illusion of Safety — Pastoral (Korm Plastics)

Daniel Burke has been carefully and consistently nurturing his Illusion of Safety project for 40 years, and I’ve been embarrassingly ignorant of the output until now. Burke released multiple audio artifacts in 2023, including a 40th anniversary ten-cassette box set, so choosing a single album to write about for the Slept On column was a daunting undertaking. Pastoral is unique in that it shows off a more delicate and expansive side of the Illusion of Safety oeuvre. It’s also one of the few music-focused objects that the stalwart Korm Plastics label has released in years; the imprint focuses on the written word these days. Sonically, Burke has established a series of vignettes that follow a similar pattern. The music flows from short, sharp attacks into lengthy sustained quietude. Burke unleashes his jarring, frantic salvos both percussively and synthetically, and these brief but unsettling periods morph into slowly churning drone swarms. Given that this is just one example of Burke’s sonic vernacular, I’m excited to hear more. Thankfully, when it comes to Illusion of Safety, I’ve been a veritable Rip Van Winkle.

Bryon Hayes

Malla — Fresko (Solina)

So slept on was Malla Malmivaara’s second solo album that even the normally reliable Beehype missed it, but even if you did happen to notice its inclusion on my midyear list, overstating how well-crafted and immersive Fresko’s dance-pop tracks are is hard to do. It makes sense given she’s better known for her acting career, but Malla’s been in the Finnish music game for a long time, too — first in the short-lived mid-aughts house trio Elisabeth Underground, then as herself with 2019’s “Sabrina” single (which got a Jori Hulkkonen remix, a guy who once redid M83) that ended up paving the way for her self-titled 2021 debut full-length. Despite using similar synth arpeggios and a healthy dose of vocal reverb as she did on Malla, Fresko is a little bit darker, moodier, more down in it. Lead single “Moi” (“hi” in English) tells the tale, its perfectly crafted video full of young Rolf Ekroth models doing things like looking impossibly cool in ridiculous outfits and having fashion shows with ATVs in snowy back alley Helsinki parking lots are a perfect marriage of audio and video, images and a melody burned in my brain the moment I saw it. It is very much a dance record flush with tech-house tweaks and no grander artistic ambitions, but Malla’s barely crested 40; now that she’s pledged more time to her music career, it’s entirely possible Fresko is but a warmup for something bolder — and even if it’s not, you could do much worse than a third album full of body movers like this. Hi is right.

Patrick Masterson

Kevin Richard Martin – Black (Intercranial)

Ostensibly a eulogy to Amy Winehouse, Kevin Richard Martin’s Black is a deeply humane expression of isolation, loss and grief. Built from the ground up, the bass deep and warm, swathes of glacial arpeggiated synths and beats that hint at the club. Notes echo and ripple away to create silhouettes of solitude, a tangible manifestation of absence. Despite the deep weight of his music, Martin imbues Black with an incredible delicacy. His abstract architecture allows the mind to roam and the listener to connect with emotional truths. It’s the balance Martin finds between the particular and universal that gives Black it’s power. In the strutting bassline of “Camden Crawling” smeared with narco/alcoholic fuzz, the looming threat of “Blake’s Shadow” and the bleary saxophone in “Belgrade Meltdown” there are the faintest echoes of Winehouse’s sound which emerge from the depths of Martin’s echo chambers. A work of terrible sadness, great beauty, empathy and comfort.

Andrew Forell

Derek Monypeny — Cibola (2182 Recording Company)

Cibola eased into the world as 2022 turned into 2023, but it took me nearly a year to get to it. Monypeny is a confirmed westerner, having lived in Arizona, Oregon, and (currently) the California desert, and an awareness of both the wrongfulness and the good fortune of living in that neck of the woods infuses Cibola, which is named for one of the American southwest’s legendary cities of gold (helpful hint; if you ever encounter a conquistador looking for gold, tell them it’s somewhere else). Monypeny alternates between guitar, shahi baaja, and on electric autoharp the LP’s seven tracks, and Kevin Corcoran contributes time-stopping metal percussion to one of them. The music likewise toggles between stark evocations of space and swirling submersions into nether states. In either mode, Monypeny effectively suggests the gorgeous immensity and pitiless history of the land around him.

Bill Meyer

The Sundae Painters — S-T (Flying Nun)

One minute, The Sundae Painters are churning wild screes of noisy guitar, the next they construct airy psychedelic pop songs of a rare unstudied grace. The band is a super group of sorts — Paul Kean and Kaye Woodward of the Bats, Alex Bathgate of the Tall Dwarfs and the late Hamish Kilgour of the Clean — convening in loose-limbed, joyful mayhem in songs that glisten and shimmer and roar. “Hollow Way” roils thick, muddy textures of drone up from the bottom, the slippery bent notes of sitar (that’s Bathgate) and Woodward’s diaphanous vocals floating free of a visceral murk. “Aversion” lets unhinged guitar shards fly over the thump of grounding drums as Kilgour chants inscrutable poetry. The two HAP tracks, I and II, stretch out in locked-in, psychotropic grooves, relentless forward motion somehow dissolving into an endless ecstatic now. This full-length, sadly the only one we’ll ever have from the Sundae Painters now that Kilgour is gone, is as good as anything that its esteemed participants ever did in their more famous bands, and that’s saying a lot.

Jennifer Kelly

U SCO — Catchin’ Heat (Self Released)

Here’s the extent of what I currently know: Someone I have on Facebook posted a link to it as one of his favorite records of the year, and someone I don’t know responded that they bought a copy of the cassette before the first track even finished. U SCO are Jon Scheid (bass), Ryan Miller (guitar), and Phil Cleary (Drums) and they are from and/or based in Portland Oregon. According to Discogs and Bandcamp Catchin’ Heat is the first thing they’ve released since 2016. That’s it! I started listened to this with the same box-checking, due diligence energy I tend to have for the dozen or so records I hear about one way or another after I’ve already done my year-end writing; most of them, every year, I don’t even make it through one play (the fatigue has fully set in by this point in the process). But sure enough before the end of that first track, I knew this was going to have to be the record I slept on. It’s perfectly structured, with extra-long, absolute blowouts beginning and ending the record, the second and second-last tracks being the two shortest and the only moments of relative calm, and the middle two making up a strong core that both brings in some elements not found elsewhere on Catchin’ Heat (the vocals on “trrrem”) and is just the most straightforward version of the absolute burners U SCO can clearly summon up on command (“woe dimension”). As great and arresting as that opening track is, though, the closing “abyssal hymn” might be the real highlight here, bringing in clarinet and saxophone to add a whole new layer of skronk to what they’re cooking. I’ve listened to this record about 10 times in a couple of days, and they deserve to sell out of that run of cassettes.

Ian Mathers

#dusted magazine #yearend 2023 #slept ons #Die Enttäuschung und Alexander Von Schlippenbach #bill meyer #Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter #jonathan shaw #illusion of safety #bryon hayes #malla #patrick masterson #kevin richard martin #andrew forell #derek monypeny #jennifer kelly #the sundae painters #Ian mathers #U SCO

[cowboy-garfield]

wait, have you ever seen the larry evidence? these men are still writing songs about each other and fake dating women?? even if they’re not together now, they’re closeted. many ex-boy band members have come forward with their own experiences of being forced to hide their sexuality (i.e., lance bass, ricky martin)

LMAO IS THIS A TROLL ARE Y'ALL FUCKING WITH ME... this is one of my friends isn't it hsjdkghsk /j

Dude I hate to break it to you, but you've picked the wrong Rango to tango with. My irl friend has been studying the larrie conspiracy DEEPLY for more a year now out of morbid fascination, and I've been along for the entire ride. We're losing our shit on the phone as I type this. I made that brba post referencing the black mold thing before it even broke 200 notes. I know about your rainbow bears and tattoos and babygates and 28.

If you've got something to throw at me, give me your best shot. I'm already in the belly of the beast with your so-called "evidence." And I've never seen a bigger crock of parasocial copium and sunk cost fallacy in my LIFE.

Genuinely idk if this is someone fucking with me, but if you seriously obsess over and speculate and state personal details about real people as if they're factual... then you seriously need to reevaluate your life. Not only is it unhealthy, but it's just weird as hell.

You don't know these people, and they don't know you. They're grown ass multimillionaires who can do whatever the fuck they want.

Hell—they've been involved in WORSE scandals than if they were merely to come out, but y'all probably wouldn't acknowledge any of that to save your life—because then they wouldn't be your little victimized uwu boys. The victimization angle is very important to the agenda I've noticed, because if you tell yourself you're always on the defense (or that someone else is attacking you/whoever you're shipping), you're free from having to self reflect. You're the victims, so why would you need to?

Here is the real kicker though. The real nitty gritty. Even if it came out that these guys WERE closeted, it would still be weird and unhealthy!!

It's genuinely difficult for me to even say any of this, because I've seen the decade-long trips these people go on, and i know how insanely detached from reality they get. But in the simplest terms, it's not your fucking business.

Loving someone's songs, being a fan, buying their merch, streaming their music, or hell—even just liking them as people (which is fine within reason, just like anything)—none of these are qualifiers that give you permission to speculate the details of someone's personal life. There are no qualifiers. At all.

Everyone is entitled to privacy, and no amount of fan devotion gives you a magic coupon owing you those private matters. It doesn't even give you the right to speculate on them. Re: the Heartstoppers actor outing incident. You are not a special fan, and you are not owed anything. Especially when there are thousands and thousands of people who also think they're special fans who just "really get the guy."

Even if that's not what this original ask was specifically saying, that's what the whole culture around this bullshit claims. It's implied. "I'm in the special secret circle of people who know what's Really going on! God our boys need us to support them through this separation so bad :'( It must be so hard for them, I can't imagine. Thank god I'm the one seeing their Obvious signals. Thank god they have me. Those non-believers are just homophobic sheep; I'm the only one who really cares."

The only thing you people have done for them (other than adding half a decimal point to their mountainous bottom lines) is ruin their friendships and lives.

Try to imagine having every minute detail of your life documented and analyzed by people you don't know. Imagine all this invasion is being used to prove a lie about your intimate personal life, which you cannot make them stop believing because of the narrative they've already committed to. Imagine your every denial being 'just more proof.' Imagine your child, girlfriend, wife, being sent death threats daily for years. Imagine having everything from your body language to your cousins' instagram likes to your fucking shopping clothes be scanned for "clues." Everything.

Now imagine that same ferocious invasion extends to every friend, partner, family member, and random ass person you stand next to for five minutes--everyone you will ever meaningfully interact with. That's the fucking pain of theirs I can't imagine; not some made up fucking ship fic about how "the big mean suits are keeping the gay babies down ;("

I can't imagine it. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And I honestly admire their decorum about it. Because if I was in that position long enough to not lose my fucking mind, you bet your ass I would go harder than this:

But who am I kidding. All these sources are just more false flags from HQ, aren't they? When you invent a boogeyman who doesn't exist—when you craft an entire fanfic ARG out of normal, meaningless occurrences—anything can just be waved offg. Anything can be proof, and anything can be lies from management. You're forever liberated from the shackles of critical thinking! How convenient.

I understand that this is a novel and a half for one ask, but don't mistake that as investment in convincing you. I fully realize I sound just like a redditor, but after more than a year of seeing this batshit, that brain fungus meme blowing up out of nowhere and bringing larries right to me? Oh god, that's ambrosia.

I have been confused, fascinated, and disgusted by this fandom for ages; it's like watching a car crash. Despite the length of this, it's never been worth my time enough to start fights with random blogs though. Most are so removed from reality that arguing would be pointless anyway; can't fight delusion with logic. If that worked, none of this would be happening in the first place. So having the opportunity to rip into this shit when it's been doordashed right to me is like crack. With a laughably confident ask to boot.

This isn't me being a tryhard; I know that so many Larries—especially the oddly large demographic of 30+y/o women—are beyond hope. They've put years up to the double digits into this narrative and likely had it impact their life negatively, which tends to happen when you obsess over a conspiracy. To admit defeat now—to accept reality; boring, thankless reality where they aren't the victims with a promised happy ending—would probably break their brains in half. (Not to mention the toxic hazing, doxxing, elitism, and witch hunts that occur in their own fandom. Don't think I don't know about that shit either.)

I say this with hedonistic glee: I wrote this shit for fun. I could have been working on final projects right now, but I wanted to do this instead. It's not so much wanting to be rude to you in particular as it is me ripping into HL fandom and celeb conspiracists in general. Sorry that your ask was the sacrificial lamb, anon, but I would also like to thank you for being on anon so I could go off without fear of people coming to harass you. If you're a naive fan who got indocrinated by other fans, sorry for the rude wake up call I guess, but tbh I'm not really holding my breath.

And let's knock out some allegations before they even start, shall we? I am not a homophobe. I am not saying celebrities aren't pushed to act a certain way or that abuse doesn't happen in the entertainment industry. I don't care about 1D (hell, half the time i can't tell them apart). RPF is at best, fucking weird and at worst, actively harmful. I think 1D's music is mid. I don't think their relationships are fake, nor do I think that WHOLE ASS CHILD is some random hired actor. As a lesbian, that guy couldn't be the janitor of the lesbians let alone the king. Fucking nobody irl talks about these guys. If they came out, it would be old news within a week. There is no Qanon-esque day of reckoning where they're going to come out and shut up all the #haters. There is no storyline; real life doesn't have those. Homophobia is bad, obviously. Regardless of my opinions on their music or crummy things they've done (which I don't even know much about since I don't care abt them aside from the Larrie craziness), I hate that this toxic fan bullshit has affected them negatively and that goes for any celebrity. This is a wider problem than just the 1D crowd; not even gonna touch beatles, tswift, or kpop. Reality has no clues like a fucking Columbo episode. Lastly, y'all aren't even special--said friend has unearthed at least five near-IDENTICAL rpf shipping conspiracies in everything from fifty shades of grey to olympic ice skating. And those aren't even gay, but they still give their fans secret symbols that they're being kept apart for Some Reason through clothing and special numbers.

Anyway. It's finals week and I have life shit to do. Larries, feel free to file this away in your 'Naysayers Who Will Be Proven Wrong Someday!' hoard. Briefly entertaining a reality where they do come out, guess what: I still don't give a shit. They're just two rich white dudes who make top 40 pop songs. Toxic parasocial fan behavior like this would still be just as weird and shitty as it is in our actual reality, where these guys have never openly declared dating anyone but women and verbally detest this shipping behavior.

I swear to God, it seems like most Larrie shippers don't even like the men that actually exist. That's the rub, isn't it? Reality sucks, but fantasy can be whatever you want it to be. All the things you like about these guys are authentic, and all the things you don't are just manipulation tactics by the puppetmaster marketing team. Forget the fact that they're fucking human beings and not dolls for your amusement or comfort.

You have no idea if they're fake dating women. You have no idea if they're closeted. You have no idea if the generic ass love songs they write are about each other. The truth none of you people realize is that you're probably never going to know, and if that just eats you up inside—good. That's your common sense trying to chew its way out of the cage of confirmation bias you locked it in.

#co-written and produced by my friend who is sadly only on twitter #shoutout sam #ask #larrie #larry #one direction #larry is real #harry styles #louis tomlinson #1D #larry stylinson #larry shippers #skit yells

[qnewslgbtiqa]

Hannah Gadsby drops lineup of Netflix special Gender Agenda

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/hannah-gadsby-drops-lineup-of-netflix-special-gender-agenda/

Hannah Gadsby drops lineup of Netflix special Gender Agenda

“The last time Netflix brought this many trans people together, it was for a protest. So, progress,” Hannah Gadsby jokes in their new genderqueer comedy special Gender Agenda.

The Australian comedian signed a big deal with Netflix in 2022, after publicly slamming the streaming service for its handling of celebrity transphobe Dave Chappelle.

But at the time, Hannah, who uses they/them pronouns, had a request: that Netflix create a stand-up special featuring genderqueer comics from around the world.

That project is now titled Gender Agenda, and arrives on Netflix on March 5 with Hannah hosting and a lineup of seven performers.

They are Jes Tom, Alok, Asha Ward, Chloe Petts, DeAnne Smith, Krishna Istha and Mx Dahlia Belle.

Jes Tom has written for queer favourite Our Flag Means Death and recently wrapped the Elliot Page-presented one-person stage show Less Lonely.

Alok headlined the NYC Comedy Festival in 2021, and has appeared in Cara Delevigne’s Planet Sex and Netflix’s Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness.

Asha Ward is best known for being Saturday Night Live‘s youngest-ever writer.

Chloe Petts is currently touring standup show If You Can’t Say Anything Nice.

DeAnne Smith featured in Netflix’s Comedians of the World and is a regular on the Australian comedy festival circuit.

Krishna Istha was a writer for Season 4 of Sex Education and is currently working on a trilogy of performance pieces about trans motherhood.

Mx Dahlia Belle founded the Portland Queer Comedy Festival and took on Dave Chappelle in a high-profile open letter in 2021.

Hannah Gadsby explains Netflix stand-up special

Hannah Gadsby told Variety, “There is such a wealth of brilliant genderqueer comics out there, but such a dearth of representation on the major streaming services.

“Meanwhile jokes about trans people are becoming more and more lucrative.

“So it seems only right that at least some of those jokes be told by actual trans people themselves.

“I am beyond thrilled to bring this lineup together, showcasing seven extraordinarily talented comics and to use my platform (and Netflix’s…) to hopefully help catapult them into the spotlight that they deserve.

“They (and I mean ‘they’ in every sense of the word) are some of the funniest, smartest genderqueer comedians from around the globe, and it was an utter delight and true honor to share the stage with them.”

Back home, Hannah’s new solo stand-up show Woof! tours Sydney and Melbourne in March and April.

Lots more on Hannah Gadsby:

‘Amoral algorithm cult’: Hannah Gadsby rips Netflix

Hannah Gadsby signs new deal for more Netflix specials

Hannah Gadsby talks their marriage with ‘spouse lady’ Jenney

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

#comedy #hannah gadsby #Queer TV

[frog-water25]

Songs in my playlists I think the brothers would like 🙈

a/n: I haven't posted in like a year but I randomly got the urge to.

Lucifer:

A voz do Violão - Lula Barbosa

Amor Eterno - Rocio Durcal

(Hes a slut for señora music just like me 🤭)

Mammon :

Delicuente - Tokisha

(I stand by the Mammon is Latino agenda I don't wanna hear anyone disagree) (Honestly asmo too a lil cause this song is so dirty)

AEAO - Dynamic Duo, DJ Premier

(Driving late at night with him bro just imagine it 😮‍💨😮‍💨)

Levi:

Girl Fron - Loona/Odd Eye Circle

(“She wouldn’t have died if she stanned Loona” fan) (illegally streams it tho cause we are in a boycott) (cried when he found out all of Loona are free)

Kimi wa Melody- AKB48

(Ik he puts on his lil rurichan outfit to listen and dance to this 🥱🥱)

Satan

Tu falta de querer - Mon Lafarte

(He pretends to be the main character in his book getting betrayed)

I won’t last a day without you- The Carpenters 

(Ik he loves the carpenters I just know it)

Asmo

Moonlight Sunrise- Twice

(Moonlight sunrise baby let's do it all night 😝) (Die-hard once Ik he biases Sana I can feel it in my bones) (He likes how twice is doing more mature stuff now)

Apocalypse- Cigarettes after sex 

(My lips your lips apocalypse ☺️☺️☺️) ( you cannot tell me he looks at mc and sings it 🤧🤧)

Beel 

Eve, Psyche, and the Bluebirds wife - (he def listens to kpop cause he thinks the dances are good workouts) (he ults NCT too Ik he bleeds green)

Háblame de ti - Banda MS 

(I’m a lil selfish rn 🙄🙄 but you can’t tell me he doesn’t like Banda)(If me and beel ever get drunk together we will be singing banda together crying)

Belphie 

Funny Valentine - Buck-Tick

(He def likes Vkei you cannot tell me his emo ass doesn’t not)

In My Dreams - Red Velvet

(Thinks of MC with this song) (Def biases Irene and calls her Mother)

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #obey me beelzebub #obey me brothers #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me nightbringer #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons

[writingmochi]

Tag your moots with what song do they remind you of?

lissie: oh god... this is gonna be filled with so many people and assigning this will be hard (especially with my currently experimental prog music taste lmao) i’ll try my freaking best!

@kookthief : my time by jungkook (bts). your kook-themed username reminds me of it and i wanted to pick euphoria at first, but i like my rnb songs and i want to promote my time more too hehe. and it's a song about kook growing up and i just had this older-sister-feel from you tbh

@ujunxverse : an alternative-lover queen! ngl the song that reminds me of you is hyper-ballad by björk. it reminds me of you because of how unpredictable you are (in a good way of course), kinda like when i listened to this song for the first time. it goes slow then fast kinda like how you write your story tbh which in return, making it so immersive

@euphor1a : is it weird that you remind me of into the i-land? specifically, the one where enhypen and &team perform together. it has a sense of melancholia in it but is also hopeful at the same time...

@heartandfangs : sober by hyoyeon (snsd)! i first think that i get reminded of you by enhypen songs but you are more than enhypen and i owe you to me and other ppl. i just think of your blog's aesthetic with this song. idk if you like dance/bass type of genre or not, but it just kind of *click* you know

@jeongwins : because of your innie pfp, blueprint by stray kids! it's one of my fav skz songs of all time because of how feel it sounds. thinking of you reminded me of your review on crossroads which is so wholesome and i think this song encapsulates the wholesome-ness too...

@s-ngh8n-main : stereotype by stayc and yes it is because of your sieun and yoon pfps. but, ig it is also from the sound of it that reminds of you and kinda matches your lemon-y vibes <3 hope you have a good time offline!

@boba-beom : thinking of you reminds me of troubled pixies so much and the every breath you take-inspired fic of tyun. so ig throwback songs are what i'm reminded of you of, specifically cloudbusting by kate bush. it sounds dreamy af and tbh... if you can make a beomgyu fic out of this song, i will be forever grateful

@dim-sun : you seem so bright from just a few posts and i think thank you by asahi + haruto (treasure) reminds me so much of you! i had fun watching this live and i hope the optimistic feel of the songs keeps you up with whatever you are doing

@itz-yerin : since your milestone event is based on baek yerin, you really reminded me of k-r&b songs, especially imagination by dean + miso (the fact that this song is not on any streaming service is freaking illegal. i love this song so much). it has an ethereal presence about it, kinda like your blogs tbh... since you prob like my crossroads playlist too, ngl if this song is on spotify, this song will defo be in that playlist

@heart2beom : when i see you like 2000s romcom movies on your blog, 7 things by miley cyrus came into mind! it is unapologetically 2000's dcom soundtrack and probs right up your alley (esp with your f2l agenda that i'm digging.) the whole story of this song could be a fic idea itself so pls if you could make a fic from this song, i will also forever be grateful

@tyunlatte : alex you are a wholesome human being!! you remind me of time of our life by day6! it just gives such a teen adventure type of beat which i associate with you esp with your drawing board and sleepovers! i haven't read your works yet but i just have inkling that it has a somewhat feel like this song

@lovejoshua : fast pace and light a flame by seventeen! both are very jazzy and latin-sounding seventeen songs which reminds of you because of your carat-ness and just because they’re something you might like. tbh maybe it's because they have a sense of maturity to it and you are older than me lol

@junniieesbby : you seem like a very carefree person to me but also confident in the same way(?) ngl while scrolling through your blog and what you wrote on discord, i suddenly had maneater by nelly furtado in mind. my assumptions is that you pretty much ate up things lmao i'm sorry if that is too random >.<

@hanniejie : i really think that you are an embodiment of the sun from how sweet you are. it's gonna be a random choice again but i thought about pocketful of sunshine by natasha bedingfield when being reminded of you. it gives off a sense of encouragement and kind of reminds me of when you send us anon asks that is just words full of encouragement

lissie: this is actually so much fun to make. thanks anon!

#message to the moon #messenger: anonymous #games with the moon #note: this is probably a way for me to get ppl to write fics asdfghjkl