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blessingellyse · 6 months

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WHY NARCISSISTS WANT CHILDREN 💯🎯⁉️📌

It Attracts A Lot Of Attention. Narcs Need Attention Far More Than Most People And Will Use Almost Anything To Get It Even Children And What Better Way Is There To Get Everyone’s Attention? Narcs Are Impulsive And Don’t Think Through Consequences So They’re Often Blind As To How Big A Commitment Children Are, Preferring To Focus On The Adulation Instead. Narcs Know That Word Travels Fast And If They Have An Ex They Want To Get At, They Might Have Children Just To Hurt Them. Especially If They Know That They Wanted Children Themselves. That’s How Petty They Can Be.

Narcs Hate Being Single And Certainly Don’t Welcome Someone Dumping Them. That’s Their Job So They Use Children As Insurance. Narcs Know That It’s More Difficult To Leave Them If They Share Children. Because Their Partners, Who Are Usually Empathic, Think Of Their Children’s Needs Before Their Own And Although May Be Unhappy In Their Relationship, Stay To Keep The Family Together. With Children In The Equation, It’s A Whole Different Ball Game. Because A Split Affects Them More Than The Couple And Many People Don’t Want To Be Responsible For Tearing A Child’s Family Apart. So They’re More Likely To Stay With The Narc Even If They’re Unhappy.

Increasing The Pressure To Stay In The Relationship Allows The Narc To Treat Their Partners Worse And Get Away With It. Narcs Learn How Far They Can Push Their Partners, Without Quite Pushing Them Away. They Learn Their Breaking Point And Push Them Just Bellow That Point. This Allows Them To Take As Much As They Can, Yet Keep Them Around So They Can Take Some More, Giving Them The Most Bang For Their Buck. The Breaking Point Is Likely To Be Much Higher When Children Are Involved Because No Right Minded Person Would Split A Family Over A “Minor Incident”, Which Narcs Are Experts At Making Them Seem. So The Bar Is Raised As To What Behaviours Would Spell An End To The Relationship, Allowing The Narcs To Get Away With More.

Even If The Relationship Ends, Children Still Play A Useful Role For The Narc. Because For 18 Years, The Narc Has Access To Their Former Partner And They Have The Law On Their Side. They Can Disappear And Do What They Want. Then When Things Turn Sour, Come Marching Back “For The Sake Of The Children". Narcs Don’t Particularly Care About Seeing Their Children. Which Is Why They Often Have Long Absences From Them, But They’re A Great Tool To Use To Get Their Feet Back Under The Table. Most Well Meaning Parents Won’t Deny Their Children Seeing The Other Parent. Even If They’ve Disappeared For A While. This Allows The Narc To Dip In And Out Of Their Life. And Work Their Charm If They Want Some Action. If The Narc Has Children With More Than One Partner, Then It’s Party Time. Because They Can Flit Between Several Peoples Lives. And When They Grow Bored, Discard Them And Move To Another.

Narcs See Their Children As Extensions Of Themselves And Some Want Children So They Can Live Through Them And Push Them To Accomplish What They Never Did. So They May Push Their Children To Become Doctors, Lawyers, Actors, Singers, Etc. Regardless Of What The Child Wants For Themselves And This Can Cause Problems Later In Life. It Can Be Like Fitting A Square Peg Into A Round Hole. People Need To Find Their Own Way, Based On Their Own Strengths, Weaknesses And Interests, But The Narc Is Too Focused On Their Own Ambitions To Consider This And Relentlessly Push Their Own Agenda.

The Narc Usually Takes Credit For Any Success The Child Has And Claims It’s Their Genes And Good Parenting That’s Responsible. To Outsiders They May Seem Like A Proud Parent, But The Only Pride They Really Have Is In Themselves. They See Children As A Boost To Their Profile. Because In Their Mind It Shows How Virile And Desirable They Are. Some Narcs See Children As A Numbers Game. The More They Have, The Greater They Must Be. So They Try To Have As Many Children As Possible, Despite Being Absent Parents.

Narcs Don’t Usually Have Strong Parental Instincts, So They Leave Most Of The Parenting To Their Partners And This Works Out Great For Them. Narcs Like To Saddle Their Partners With Children Because It Keeps Them Under Lock And Key. The Narc Knows That Their Partner Has Little Freedom When They’re Almost Solely Responsible For The Children And It Keeps Them Safely Tucked Away At Home Whilst They Swan Around Without A Care In The World. Parenting Is Draining And Narcs Like To Play The Energy Game With Their Partners. This Is Where They Tire Them Out Whilst Preserving Their Own Energy. This Allows Them To Dominate Their Fatigued Partner Because They Have Less Mental And Physical Strength To Fight Back.

Although Narcs Do Little Actual Parenting, The Outside World Doesn’t Know This And The Narc Talks A Good Game To Friends, Family And Co-workers, Creating The Impression They’re Doting Parents And Normal Functioning Members Of Society. Narcs Hide Behind A Family Persona To Disguise Their Dysfunctional Ways And It Can Work Wonders For Their Image And Reputation. Narcs Love People Thinking Highly Of Them. It’s An Ego Boost For One And It Also Helps Them Gain Attention And Favours Because People Are More Willing To Trust And Spend Time With People Who Are High Functioning. Narcs See Everyone Around As An Extension Of Themselves Rather Than As Separate Individuals. This Includes Their Own Children.

There Are Several Mistakes The Narc Parent Is Certain To Make During Their Counter-Parenting Journey. These Mistakes Will Undoubtedly Come Back To Haunt Them, Possibly Years Down The Line. Narcs Are So Self-absorbed They Fail To Stop And Consider That Children Eventually Grow Up And See The Damaging Behaviour With Their Own Eyes. Their Children Are Not Immune From Being At The Receiving End Of The Narc's Cycle Of ‘idealise And Devalue’, Where They Are Alternately Lovebombed, (Showered With Praise And Attention), And Then Subtly Devalued, Criticised, Withdrawn From And Put Down. This Leaves Them Confused And Hurt, And They Start Jumping Through Hoops To Please The Parent Enough To Re-Enter The Idealization Phase Again. This Is A Cycle That Repeats Ad Infinitum, Over And Over Again, Even When The Child Becomes An Adult Themselves.

Narcs' Children Will Be Triangulated And Played Off Against Others (Often Their Own Siblings Or Cousins), And Will Find Themselves Vying For The Narc’s Attention. They Will Be Gaslighted/Lied To By The Narc To The Point Where They Their Own Reality Is Dismissed As False, So That They Stop Trusting Their Own Perceptions Of Reality. They Will Be Demeaned And Shamed. If They Are Particularly Good At Something, Behind Closed Doors They May Find Themselves On The Receiving End Of The Narc Parent’s Jealously. Confusingly, The Narc May Then, In Front Of An Audience, Hold Up Their Child’s Talent As A Source Of Pride, As Just Another Way To Gain Positive Attention For Themselves.

It’s Not Surprising That Narcs Want Children For Selfish Reasons. Everything Else In Their Life Revolves Around Them, So Why Should This Be Any Different? But It’s Easy For Their Partners To Be Fooled Into Thinking That They Want Them For The Right Reasons, Especially When The Narcissist Knows What To Say. Narcs May Talk Romantically About How Children Will Bring Them Closer And How Much Joy They’ll Bring, Which Is All Very Appealing, But When The Children Arrive, The Harsh Reality Kicks In. The Narc Becomes More Narc Because They Can Get Away With It And Spends Little Time And Energy On Their Children Because They’re Still Hyper Focused On Themselves. Despite All The Promises They Made, The Sad Truth Is That Even With Children, Narcs Want Everything To Revolve Around Them And They’re Happy To Take The Focus Away From Their Children Because Deep Down, They’re Big Kids Themselves.

In Short, And To Put It Bluntly, Narcs Do Not Have What It Takes To Be Good Parents. They Cannot Put Another’s Needs First.

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letsgetyourshifttogether · 1 year

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It’s a waste of time and energy trying to reason with unreasonable people. Pour that energy into yourself and your healing journey instead. Even if the narc lives with you and it currently feels like a hopeless situation, you can still engage less. Yes it’s easier said than done. Yes the narcissist will probably get mad and lash out when they notice you engaging less. But also, YES anything the narcissist says to you is calculated to incite a reaction out of you. They get a little kick out of your reaction. Being aware of how you react and making a conscious effort to not react while you’re talking to the narcissist is how you begin to take your power back. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t become the grey rock champion overnight. None of this is ever an overnight process. It’s all about baby steps one day at a time. This is where doing the emotional work comes in handy - processing your emotions (away from the narcissist) can actually help you to not react emotionally to them. Want a little taste of doing the inner work? Grab my free rage journaling guide at the link in my bio! Want to take your healing journey up a notch and join a safe community for survivors to connect, get access to my best courses, attend live events, and have a safe place to share or vent what you’re going through and share your wins? Then I invite you to join my community membership! The best part is it’s super affordable, you can get started for less than $1/day! Click the link in my profile to learn more. (Disclaimer: inner work won’t help you if the narc gets physically violent. If that happens or seems like it might happen, an Instagram post is not going to help you, get yourself to safety asap and get authorities involved! Your physical safety is always # 1!) #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuseexpert #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad https://www.instagram.com/p/CpDuZjaONJE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuseexpert #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad

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recoveringeldestsupportdaughter · 1 year

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In Mourning

My Mom died when I was 18, a few months before I graduated High School.

My Mom who was my favorite person in the entire world and my biggest supporter.

My Mom who I would’ve given the world if she asked it of me.

The Mom I defended and protected time and time again.

My Mom who would’ve never dreamed of breaking my heart or stabbing me in the back.

My Mom died the night she called me a liar and continued to treat me as such.

I miss my Mom dearly, the mother she is now is not my Mom anymore.

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harmoniousbi · 2 years

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Can one ever be enough? Moving out was a big step for me and I thought everything would be okay by now... It isn't.... Everything is a target now... Did you get a new dresser?! Why is the stove not completely clean? Why is your Boyfriend acting like this? Why did you change?!

Questions over questions everyday, mean words, bad comments yet never a good word about the things that I have achieved.

Yes the stove isn't clean... I work full time, go to college and just had a surgery that knocked me out...

Yes my boyfriend acts strange around you... Cause you guys seam to hate him since the very first day we started dating...

No I couldn't buy a new dresser Mom... I have hardly any money to pay gas and food...

And yes mom and dad I changed... I have a bad depression and I am hardly handling everyday life and a household and a family... I have no energy... I wanna lay down and cry...

I want a hug from my mom and some words that show me that she is proud of me for living a life even tho I have depression and work and college and financial problems... I am dying inside very day to handle all this...

#Family #Toxic #Depression #Sad #Lonely #Poor #Broke #mentalabuse #Mental stress #Toxic family #Pain #Work #College

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fvneral-m00n · 1 year

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I'm a broken fairy. Caught by a butterfly collecter and he's pinned me to his book. I have a shooting pain going straight through my stomach and and feeling of emptyness because the butterfly collector...my lover tricked this little fae and now I'm stuck as part of the collection of broken dreams and promises. (Me In pic)

#butterfly #butterfly collection #butterfly collector #dv #unhappy #depression #trauma bond #codependency #mental health #verbalabuse #mentalabuse #emotionalabuas #borderline personality disorder #lgbt #bpdthings #bpd #ftm

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luannero · 19 days

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youtube

A secret you would take to your grave - Story 1

#bedtimestories #revenge #secret #mystery #mentalabuse #tradwife #Youtube

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theformulaforsuccess · 23 days

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youtube

Douglas Vandergraph shares his personal journey of overcoming childhood abuse and mental slavery in this empowering video. Through his own experiences, he inspires viewers to pursue their dreams and break free from limiting beliefs. Join Douglas on his daily video series as he offers practical advice on personal growth and making a positive impact. Discover how to turn aspirations into reality with Douglas as your guide. Start your transformation today!

#ChildhoodAbuse #MentalSlavery #PersonalGrowth #TransformationTuesday #DreamBig

#childhoodabuse #mentalabuse #mentalslavery #youtube #motivation #success #success story #successful #successstories #motivationalspeaker #motivationalstory #inspirationalstory #motivateyourself

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maura-alwyne-blog · 2 months

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Some evenings dealing with my brain & the trauma bond sucks. The future fakes sometimes replay making it tough

I have to remember that litterally everything she said was a lie. All of it manipulation, all for her ego

2 months of strict no contact now & this can take years to fix

#narcsurvivor nacasist mentalabuse

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savemefromtoxic · 1 year

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😢 I paid for every bad decision they made. ~ Rick dC // @RecoverFromToxic #theirchoices #badchoices #selfish #selfishlove #mentalabuse #emotionaltrauma #emotionalabuse #stickthroughthickandthin #blindlove #by #rickdc https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp1enMRO5cV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#theirchoices #badchoices #selfish #selfishlove #mentalabuse #emotionaltrauma #emotionalabuse #stickthroughthickandthin #blindlove #by #rickdc

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pinkfeathergurl · 1 year

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Bullying is not Okay!

Bullying should be strongly be discouraged and banned in school, educational institutions, and workplaces. It must not be tolerated in any form;

Verbal • Teasing • Inappropriate sexual comments • Name-calling • Threatening physical harm

Physical • Harassment • Physical confrontation • Degrading another person • Can at times be sexual in nature

Social • Spreading rumors • Purposely leaving someone out of an activity or group • Publicly embarrassing a person • Encouraging others to avoid a certain person or group

More about parenting and guidance: https://bit.ly/3VanHFA

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miyasanchez7 · 1 year

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In Margaret J. Moschak’s My Alcoholic, My Love, a harrowing and heartbreaking account of leaving an alcoholic you love, she portrays how alcohol abuse can shut down contact with a broader community and blind you from a partner’s destructive tendencies. She tells readers how, sometimes, just leaving is the best decision for both yourself and the family around you...

#Books #Alcoholism #SocialProblem #Disease #Addiction #MentalAbuse #writingcommunity #writing #author #writers

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letsgetyourshifttogether · 1 year

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Manage your expectations. The more you expect YOU from the narcissist, the more disappointed you’ll be. Expecting the narcissist to suddenly be normal, respectful, understanding and logical is a great way to be more and more disappointed. Let yourself be disappointed instead of gaslighting yourself into believing that they will one day “see the error in their ways” and holding your breath for however much time you think they need to see the light or whatever. (Tip: pour that energy and effort into yourself and your healing journey.) When you expect them to be exactly who they are, it’s a lot less shocking to observe them being exactly who they are. Instead of having expectations of other people (in general too, not just narcs), taking them at face value and trusting their behaviour over their words will save you an immense amount of stress. Of course, this doesn’t change the situation or eliminate the stress completely, but it’s a great start to have this shift in perspective in the back of your mind. 🚨🚨🚨PS: Registration is OPEN for my free webinar: Creating Your Own Closure After Narcissistic Abuse! It’s happening LIVE on March 28, at 2:00 pm EST. Go to the link in my bio to register! #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #mentalabuse #narcissist #hiddenabuse #gaslighting #manipulators #verbalabuse #covertnarcissist #narcopath #projection https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp2OyyYMtwL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #mentalabuse #narcissist #hiddenabuse #gaslighting #manipulators #verbalabuse #covertnarcissist #narcopath #projection

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recoveringeldestsupportdaughter · 2 years

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Something I already knew, but wasn’t ready to admit…

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saramackenzie1982 · 1 year

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Hi, everyone! It's Thursday again, and we're #BehindTheScenes with the evolution of my writing. I mentioned taking it to another level. For me, it's the discovery of earlier storytelling. Discover more here: https://www.saraelliemackenzie.com/post/behindthescenes-24-evolution-of-writing #OralStorytelling #ThatLittleGirl #EntertainingSinceThe90s #EvolutionOfMe #FamilyFriends #HazyMemories #TheGirlWhoReads #TheWomanWhoWrites #MomsWhoWrite #MomsBeenTellingStories #BornStoryteller #EarlyChildhood #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionallyImmatureParents #LittlePoland #MentalAbuse #Willful #PhysicalAbuse #WeSurvived https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn4QpcKreVb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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noel248 · 2 years

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6 months free of SH today, hope your doing well, and just know that it's worth it:)

#selfharm #SH #sh #clean #trigger #mentalhealth #strength #s3harm #mentalabuse #mentalabus3

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myventingaboutdepression · 2 years

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I broke up with the man that has been ripping me apart for almost four months. I did it for my own mental health and my own physical safety. So why do I feel like the bad guy?

#depression #breakup #mentalabuse #physicalpain #heartbreak #lonley

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