#maybe ill make another post about that book specifically but idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

riotbrrrd · 3 months

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Probably could have answered your really interesting essay dissecting that completely point missing review of Uglies with another essay answearing all your points, but was tired this day... and what stuck the most with me was the part about Dr. Cable specifically choosing Shay and her cult because with their self harm they are so much more useful to her as super soldiers because they already proved that they are unstable enough and value their own physical and emotional well-being little enough to go die for her in wars or something on a whim. (And then Tally was pulled into it because of her eating disorder and also because of Shays creepy crush friendship revenge on her).

Because I totally interpreted it this way too, and it also was fairly obvious for me too, but also I was not sure how much of this is in the book and how much of it is just my interpretation. Glad to see it "confirmed".

Dr. Cable is a master manipulator and probably the best tactician in the books, of course she would notice how useful self-destructive tendencies and mentally ill people seeing working for her as a way out of their misery is useful for her. And of course Shay would, and Tally, who IMO is not that good with people even more, not really understand that and think she chose them for being so smart and special instead - and the book is from Tallys view, so of course on the surface it says this.

I mean yeah, there are flaws to the self-harm and eating disorder representation in it, actual people who had these problems and read it said so - but its not exactly promoted either. The books say so in the text.

No problem, we can continue to ramble under Another Uglies Post!

I haven't read these books again in some time, to my memory of it it's never said explicitely yeah, but it feels very obvious especially in the way she admits defeat towards the end, "special specials" and all that. I also think what really drives the point is the perspective shift when Tally gets arrested and discovers just how much she's been built to absorb impacts. And then she dislocates her shoulders on purpose??? like. I actually can't remember if it's fully on purpose, but I do remember that she does Not handle the pain of it normally.

But yeah, by that point, both of those girls are operating on a brainwash made to make them arrogant over another brainwash meant to make them compete for attention. So as we're experiencing the story through Tally's point of view, we are seeing her brain make the kind of logical jumps that make sense from someone who's been a little bit programmed to think she would be Chosen in a crowd!

And, you know, I want to be indulgent and say maybe it's just because we're obsessed with these books and have read them many times, maybe on one reading it's not that obvious, but. There's really A Lot of these books that is textually asking, which parts of a personality are genuine and which parts are the result of outside influence, and can you ever feel the difference? So idk, I think it's fairly obvious that you aren't supposed to take every word of it as authorial endorsement but understand that the characters adopt different, sometimes even contradictory points of view over the course of the series, not because those points of view are good but because they don't/can't know any better or because they have been made to. So I don't think it's that easy to miss.

#then again. I do remember that I tried to make my mom read them and she didn't like them because 'there is too much philosophy in them'#so you know! sometimes a book is not for everyone #but in the case of that video essay I think the person really just. wanted to read something else and couldn't get past the feeling #and it caused them to get very hung up on things in a way they wouldn't have otherwise #but anyway!

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hatsunerandal · 1 year

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whoever asked for my lockwood and co playlist, you are in for it :)

so ive decided to give the link to the playlist as well as come up with scenarios for each song so this is. gonna be a big doc. (also book spoilers)

heres the link to the actual playlist (ps if anyone knows the artist please let me know!!)

luv l8r - mom jeans im going to be honest, stole this from a fic, not much to say, just a song that reminds me of them

september - sparky deathcap the instrumental just gives cozy vibes, like something theyd listen to together whilst reading in the library, possibly cuddled up on the couch who knows. maybe even a cheeky little george pops in to bring them more tea, and sees them cuddled up on the couch and smiles before leaving the tea at the door as not to disturb them (alternatively: he joins them bc romantic locklyle + qpr george is a wonderful thing)

buzzcut season - lorde LOOK IDK ITS JUST SO THEM I CANT EXPLAIN IT THEYRE JUST SO. its a song with such a nostalgic feeling and i feel like it fits them, its a sort of montage song, at least to me. its a song that reminds me that theyre kids, because they really are just kids being put in these awful situations.

stars will fall - duster yet another library song, less romantic this time id guess, more just all 3 of them reading respectively in the library. lockwood probably reading old newspapers, lucy some sort of novel, and george either reading his comics or researching for a case.

drip drip drip fall - ewy a lockwood song, do with that what thou shalt :)

main character syndrome - wilbur soot another lockwood song. hes got main character syndrome and we all know it. seems a kipps vs lockwood sort of song yk? the lines "its not a problem its his niche" and "he smiles with only half his face" feel so very lockwood to me.

evans song - flower face OMLGFHKJGFHKJFJGH. its lucys song to lockwood. we get plenty of lockwood being a pathetic simp, but what about lucy? "to think i thought ive loved before, to think i fought so many wars" feels like a lucy line. she loved norrie (romantically and platonically (personal hc)), but shes never loved someone the way shes loved lockwood. theyve saved eachother countless times. i love them <3

shadow moses - bring me the horizon my playlist is. all over the place and you can really tell with this one. im not really sure specifics for this one but its definitely an angsty song so something along the lines of lucy getting ghost locked and lockwood panicking -> "can you tell from the look in her eyes/we're going nowhere"

call me what you like - lovejoy feels very "lockwood using holly as a replacement for lucy after she leaves" sort of deal. i will go more in depth on this one if anyone would like but i fear it may make the post longer than it needs to be just please dont attack me over this dhfdfgkjg.

a pearl - mitski HMHMMHMHMH necklace. the pearl is the necklace, lockwood is the war, shes fallen so deep in love. again this is post her leaving, pre her return. shes in an inn somewhere swirling the necklace around her fingers, missing him more than anything, thinking he didnt want her there. pain :D.

long long time - linda ronstadt MWAHKAHKJDFG this ones for the tlou fans. yall know :)

under the weather - corpse like i said. very all over the place playlist. yet another lockwood angst song, probably some sort of sickfic type deal, but more lockwood needs a mental health day and lucy (+ possibly george, depending on your personal hc (i am so mentally ill for romantic locklyle + george qpr)) caring for him and just. cozy vibes but also really sad bc <33

all we ever wanted was everything - bauhaus RAHHH SHOW CANON SONG. its just so them <33

blue hair - tv girl YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT A LOCKWOOD SONG ITS SO HIM CMON. minus. the. misogyny yk

chemistry - kimya dawson lucy song [everyone gasps]. 'how did we end up here?/you said happenstance' hmshdhrg lucy asking lockwood how they ended up in the Consensual Workplace Relationship and they just talk and talk and talk afterwords, probably sometime late morning yk cozy just woke up vibes.

clementine - elliott smith herrhfhf scrungly soft locklyle vibes in the morning, waking up together, getting ready for the day together, they end up dancing in the kitchen to this song smiles i love them cries wails sobs

bouquet - ichiko aoba do i know what shes saying other than the flowers? no!!! is it cozy vibes? yes!! they are falling asleep after a long day listening to it i cant explain why

empire ants - gorillaz ft little dragon i. honestly do not know. another song similar to buzzcut season, feels like a reminder that theyre just kids. very well may be a lucy breakdown song who knows :)

it will come back - hozier we got our first hozier song boys. lucy leaving, lockwood breakdown, listening to this on repeat hoping wishing praying that she'll come back. wishing more than anything.

rule #27 - drunk on pride - fish in a bird cage lockwood is constantly drunk on pride, everyone knows it, everyone feels it. this is probably something along the lines of lucy and george being worried for him as he goes into a particularly dangerous job, fully confident and all to prideful. he comes out of it alive, but damaged.

tree hugger - kimya dawson im a bitch for kimya dawsona and fluffy ships but this also is a sort of 'they all wish they where somewhere else, but are happy with eachother too' kind of thing which proabably doesnt make much sense bUT IT MAKES SENSE TO ME OK CSHHSHSHSH

https://open.spotify.com/track/1F9f5t7GZk7aJZNGZIbfqP?si=c653de10148f4de5 <- link because youre nuts if you think im attempting to type out morse code lockwood just being a pathetic simp. probably watching her dance in the kitchen, late at night when neither of them are supposed to be awake, admiring everything about her till he eventually joins in on the dancing, they dance together into early hours of the morning before she carries him (YEA SHE CARRIES HIM WHAT ABOUT IT) up the stairs to lockwoods room, where they sleep for the rest of the day :>

locked out of heaven - bruno mars Ik the song is relatively sexual but we arent going there dw. just more lockwood being a hopeless romantic and being wildly in love with lucy, lucy is his heaven and he wishes to be nowhere else but with her at all times.

teenage dream - katy perry yk i had too. again, theyre teenagers, they act like teenagers. probably the song playing in lucys/lockwoods head constantly because shes just so giddy about their silly teenage love.

answering machine - ruby haunt to much happiness, angst now. a song lucy had on repeat walking the streets of london early in the morning to get coffee after she had left lockwood and co. maybe even walking past portland row, missing it dearly. little does she know, lockwood sees her, he hasnt slept a bit since lucy left, he usually just stares out the window into the night. but one day, he sees her walking past. he doesnt get out of bed that morning.

sleep thru ur alarms - lontalius i said we where done with happiness. more lockwood mental health issues but this time its the aftermath. lucy sitting in her room after a particularly bad fight with lockwood that had turned into him collapsing in her arms. shes just thinking about everything he said.

the first punch - pierce the veil im gonna be honest i meant to take this one out but its just there now i got nothin im low on gas and you need a jacket - pierce the veil i think lucy just like this one idk

heart-shaped box - nirvana lockwood feeling awful about asking lucy for help, sitting in his room thinking about it.

safeword - tv girl lucy telling lockwood about her time in her old town. about her old home.

fine - lemon demon me when i have like 8 million songs abt them being teenagers doing silly teenager things.

chloroform girl - polkadot cadaver UR GONAN TRY AND TELL ME THIS ISNG LOCKWOODS MUSIC TASTE BE FUCKOING QUIET he likes this song :)

swear to god the devil made me do it - the front bottoms god tfb is just so lockwoodcore. its just so him i cant explain it you understnad me maybe hopefully

flying model rockets - the front bottoms HOHOHOHOHOHOHO so lockwood dont you think. dont. dont you think. please agree with me.

blondie - current joys more cozy library/morning vibes. maybe some soft domestic little kisses as a treat.

young - vacations back to the angst. more pining and mourning after lucy leaves hee hee.

pretty boy - the neighborhood HES A PRETTY BOY SHE THINKS HES A PRETTY BOY THEY ARE PRETTY TOGETHER I LOVE HTEM CRIES CRIES CRIES

pretty boy - tv girl be quiet ik they have the same name they are so drastically differnet vibes. something something lucy thinking shes not good enough for lockwood bc she grew up poor and he was a rich little bastard /aff. but yea late night angst

it almost worked - tv girl RRUUFUFU angst they are so sad sad little people lucy is a sad little lass in her tiny little town she will never get out sobs.

space song - beach house wails cries sobs screams them. i will not elaborate.

golden hour - JVKE oh my GODD lockwood is such a hopeless fucking simp. hes such a stupid hopeless little simp. for her and her only all he looks at is her shes the best thing ever shes so beautiful all he does is take her in. they are in love.

who is she - i monster he doesnt believe she exists. shes not real. shes in his dreams. hes having a breakdown :)

always forever - the cults back to happy!! they are in love!!! always forever!! they will be together forever!!!!

gilded lily - cults SOBS SCREAMS CRIES WAILS EATS THEM THEYRE JUST KDIS THEYRE FORCED TO DO THIS HORRIBLE JOB BUT HTEY ARE JUST CHOLDREN THEYRE JSJSUT KIDS DJFGHJHA

pretty when you cry - lana del rey god theyre so sad. george lucy comfort lockwood that is all thank you.

carmen - lana del rey oh deary. oh lockwood oh my poor bbg

paper doll - flower face this is so lucy. shes a fragile paper doll and lockwood cares for her. but she feels like shes not enough she feels unworthy. lockwood is to good for her.

the night we met - lord huron OH MY GODDDD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD theyre so they mean so much to me im crying you understand i dont need to explain.

paper doll - flower face this is so lucy. shes a fragile paper doll and lockwood cares for her. but she feels like shes not enough she feels unworthy. lockwood is to good for her.

angela - flower face can you tell i like flower face. remember lockwood being a hopeless simp?? lucys turn!! lucys turn!!!!!!! shes so simp shes so simp but in such a sad way shes os in love with him but shes so worried he'll leave.

spiracle - flower face hee hoo hee hoo lockwood breakdown. more lockwood breakdowns, but this time its before he and lucy where together. its just him panicking late at night about his love for lucy, afraid he'll end up killing her with his love because nothing good comes from letting people in.

jupiter - flower face THEY FEEL SO SAFE TOGETHER THEY ARE HOME TOGETHER THEY ARE EACHOTHERS HOME. lucys home is with lockwood and george at portland row :DDDDDD

small world - jack stauber cozy coffee run vibes ykyk domesticity

death cup - mom jeans 'i think its bout time i warned you i might cry in front of you' oh come ON thats so lockwood this entire song is just lockwood opening up to lucy.

legit tattoo gun - the front bottoms lockwood tfb agenda is spreading.

insomniac - memo boy lockwood insomniac real hes so not sleep the dark circles are so visible im. emotionally unstable.

post to long. need part 2.

#lockwood and co #locklyle #lucy carlyle #anthony lockwood #george karim

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t0byt3 · 4 months

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why i think noels lament fits vil pre overblot 🫡

i started thinking about this and havent stopped so now yikes

anyways uhhhh im going to reference exact lyrics and how i think they play to vil

also i hc vil as gender fluid so i will be switching between he/she/they pronouns for vil throughout the post

this ended up being long af i forgot that i cant stfu jesus

anyways start !!

Uhhh i will say that i dont think the fact that this song is bascially just a fantacy of some sort relates to vil (for the most part). like i think some of the lyrics would pertain to vils imagination or fantasias or whtvr but ya

none of the things i mention are 100% cannon (they could be?? idk) ill go back l8r to see if i can find proof from the story/book or from the manga to see if some of the "points" i make are actually cannon or just me confusing my hc w canon (it happens yikes)

"GOOD GIRLS CALL ME "THE TOWN BICYCLE" DON'T KNOCK IT 'TIL YOU’VE TRIED MY LIFE OF SIN"

the whole "town bicycle" thing pertains to vil cause people sometimes take their anger/h8red of a character out on the actor whos plays them so for vil who has said that she has played a shit ton of villain roles (i think she said shes played only villain roles if i remember correctly) so if thats the case then she has definitely had to deal with whtvr h8 and name calling has come w that.

then the whole "dont knock it till youve tried my life of sin" refers to people shitting on him for playing the villain specifically the "my life of sin" being vil playing the villain over and over (many villains are seen as wrong or sinful so that also plays in)

"MY PIMP, KNOWS NEVER MESS WITH ME"

lmaooo this just makes me think of his manager cause i feel like vils manager has def heard or seen vil loose his shit either on someone or just ranting about someone

idk if this is fact or not but i always thought of vils manager as being the same one hes had throughout most if not all of his acting career

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND HIM, OFFICERS BUT IF YOU DO, PLEASE MENTION THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE RETURNED THE PRETTY KNIFE THAT I STUCK TEN TIMES IN HIS BACK!"

tbh i see this as being one of those fantasy parts like vil fantasizing about harming neige and/or taking his place

idk thats all i feel like that line is self explanatory idk

"FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL; A WHIRL OF BOOZY-FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT; I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL"

"i sing songs until the break of dawn" while i feel like in the song this could be referring to actual sing or fucking all night or whtvr IN THIS CASE FOR VIL i interpreted it as actual singing in which she sings while getting ready for bed or in the morning or smthng) either practicing songs for the hero roles she never gets to play or just practicing in general (maybe even singing songs that she likes just for fun)

"i embrace a new man every night" again im aware this is referring to s3x IM interpreting it as like,, taking on new roles every night either for a new play or a new part or whtvr (this one is one of those lines that doesnt really relate but ya)

"my lifes one never ending carnival a whirl of boozy floozy flashing lights" SHOWBIZZ!! lame but ya thats all i just think that this would be just like in referrence to actor life or whtvr. the whole "my lifes one nvr ending carnival" part could be read as slightly sarcastic cause while everything is also new! fun! wow! its also just ick after awhile cause thats just how its is. the nxt line would just be referring to all the bright ass lights and camera lights and shit that go into acting and whatnot

"HE SAID, "I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU" I'VE HEARD THAT LIE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE"

another one that i feel is self explanatory tbh people tell actors they love them all the time so while vil probably gets h8 for playing the villain they probably also get fans telling they they love them (which i can imagine how annoyed that must make vil but not the point rn)

"OH, TONIGHT I GIVE IN TO THE FANTASY TAKE LOVE WHEN YOU CAN, WHEN YOU'RE A WHORE"

as much as it annoys them when random ass people say they love them, i do think sometimes, vil will give into it a go along, either for publicity or whtvr. especially as a kid i feel like vil would give into that lie more often (hence why they dont anymore as they have learned its false) but sometimes when the loneliness goes haywire theyll indulge someone for a bit (typically just simple "ilu2 :))" and conversing with them) to gain some sort of fake closeness to satiate the loneliness for a bit (this is 100% hc i feel like vil is seen as the best or the second best so its probably hard to make real friends or relations that dont just want to use them for money or fame or whtvr but once again,,, not the point)

skipping a few lyrics here 1- cause tw and 2- bc i havent found a way to word the way i feel they relate to vil (maybe ill edit when i figure it out maybe i wont idfk)

"EIGHT MONTHS LATER I CATCH TYPHOID FLU"

this just makes me thing of her overblot lol while i def think that the overblot has been building for more than eight months but it just shot forward from being to book six to when she overblotted. "i catch the typhoid flu" makes me think of how she "caught" the overblot "sickness" since its going around/being passed around similarly to how i feel a flu or sickness would be (obviously not very contagious and if overblot was some sort of sickness nrc would be fucked)

"DYING IN AN ALLEY, A PRIEST KNEELS DOWN TO ME- "My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?" "Oui. Tell Him that, like Him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away!"

the priest in this scenario would be either neige or rook

if we're going w neige as the priest id says it because neige was trying to be nice to vil before vil tried to poison him. The line that noel says would be interpreted as vils words right before giving neige the apple which wouldve cursed him

if we are going with rook as the priest then i see it as rook talking to vil before she goes off to give neige the apple, like before vil separates from everyone, and noels part ould be like vil replying before she goes (i dont remember if they spoke before vil went to curse neige but ill look into it)

" SHATTERED DREAMS SUPER CRUSTY, HOLY TERROR WILD EYES AND BLACK MASCARA BROKEN HEART"

the other lines in this lil mantra dont really fit but thats okay

anywyas

the whole shattered dreams thing like duh bros shattered dreams of playing a hero role and being chosen over neige

super crusty - idk for this one ill be honest

holy terror wild eyes and black mascara - yea so "terror" more like rage but terror may fit cause while he was full of rage he could have also had fear that hed never be able to be more than the villain or second to neige

and broken heart obvi bros broken hearted over this realization

"IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE DREAM... I'D BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL!"

in this case that fucked up girl could be in reference to neige

tbh that whole thing abt this song being abt some guys fantasy could also be in reference to vils fantasy of taking neiges place as the fairest of them all of the most loved and such.

anyways that was a lot and idk if any of it made sense tbh

thats all :3

#twst #disney twst #vil #vil schoenheit #noels lament #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland vil #twst vil #i thought way too much about this idk why tf this possesed me #cutesy :3 #someone tell me to shut up

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bloody-wonder · 4 years

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“i wanna write about neil putting andrews hand under his shirt” here’s your excuse!!

thanks for playing along *wink wink*

so this scene which needs no introduction somehow manages to be overappreciated in the fandom while simultaneously being underappreciated. here’s what i mean. (tw cause i talk about the drake incident)

so there’s context and subtext to this scene. the context is that neil needs andrew to agree to get committed and leave kevin behind so neil must convince him that he would be a satisfactory replacement as kevin’s “bodyguard” - if riko comes for kevin, neil will not budge. so neil decides to show andrew his “credentials” - the scars which prove that so much damage has already been done to him that riko can’t really scare him anymore. however neil can’t just take the shirt off in a room full of people bcs he wants to show the scars to no one but andrew so his next best decision is to take andrew’s hand and put it under his shirt so that he can feel them. for neil, at least consciously, it’s just a perfectly logical persuasion strategy.

that’s the context which in the fandom is readily pushed aside in favor of the homoerotic subtext: “omg andrew touched neil’s naked skin *fans oneself energetically* that’s sooooo gay”. the shitposts about what wymack must have thought at seeing this are an entire subgenre by this point. like, i’m not saying it’s not gay or criticizing anyone for pointing out homoerotic subtext so enthusiastically, but still it’s very interesting to me why people prefer to look at this scene from wymack’s pov - who had no context of what exactly was happening bcs he didn’t know a lot about andrew’s deals and bcs the boys were talking in german. people prefer to strip this scene of its context to the point where neil and andrew are just any two boys touching each other in a mildly erotic way.

now one of the reasons i love aftg so much is that everything in it is very specific to its context and its characters (which is btw probably the reason why we can’t explain or describe aftg to our friends - it’s hard to describe unless you recount everything that happens in it or it would make no sense). so what i propose instead is returning this scene into its context but going deeper - not just looking at it in terms of a given dialogue like neil does but in terms of the tragic sequence of events that lead to andrew having to be committed.

so.

andrew has just been violently raped, again, by the same abuser he took so much pains to get away from. his deepest darkest secret, which even his closest circle and his therapist didn’t know, has just been disclosed in the worst way possible. now they all know. now in their eyes he has graduated from the resident “sociopath” to the victim of the nastiest kind of abuse. he has been put in the worst kind of spolight. now they all know - his family, his team, neil. what will be their reaction? will their treatment of him change? will they pity him? ugh.

andrew is in great physical pain and the happy pills won’t let his spiralling mind process what just happened properly. but the underlying feeling, i imagine, is of being found out, singled out, branded as different, alone. kevin and aaron are in a state of shock, nicky is crying and trying to hug him, and wymack is little help.

enter neil. we’re privy to his inner monologue so we know that neil was as shocked as the rest of them and felt nauseous bcs of the horror and pressure of the situation, but he showed nothing of it outwardly. he even found the time and cheek to confront andrew about something while everyone else was treating him like a ticking bomb or fatally ill. neil, who has already sufficiently demonstrated that his treatment of andrew won’t change one bit, then wants to take kevin off his shoulders so that andrew is able to go away to take care of himself, and in order to persuade him he wants to show him his scars - but only to him - so he puts andrew’s hand under his shirt. andrew knew that neil has scars but he didn’t know the extent. “these ouches feel a little rough for a child on the run”, he says. these scars, their number and graveness, show that neil wasn’t just a part of a gangster family or whatever he says but that serious abuse has been inflicted on him personally. that in that regard he has probably been through similar shit as andrew. that he can understand him perfectly. that andrew is not alone.

so when neil puts andrew’s hand on his scars he says not only “i’m competent enough to look after kevin in your absence”, but also “your secret has just been violently disclosed but i have a similar secret and i will tell it to you - this is a snippet. you’re not alone”. this is what he actually says in the text:

The story I gave you was mostly true. I might have left out some critical details, but I know you're not really surprised by that. If we survive this year and you're still interested, you can ask me for them later. I think it's your turn in our secrets game, anyway.

and andrew agreed to neil’s offer - probably not bcs he deemed him “competent” but bcs he felt the major shift in trust between them.

i think its one of the key andreil moments and it certainly is brought up a lot but mainly bcs “it’s gay”, apparently. idk maybe i’m just too aroace or something but it makes me sad that this powerful scene gets diminished to just another homoerotic moment. when i was reading the books for the first time, the homoeroticism of this scene didn’t even occur to me bcs i was still very much in the post-drake not at all amorous mindset as i imagine were neil and andrew. so if you ask me, “the gayness” of this scene is overhyped, but its meaning is definitely underappreciated.

tl;dr neil didn’t put andrew’s hand under his shirt - he put it on his scars

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg mine #aftg ask #whenever i'm like not everything is about sex you know #i feel like a prude #and whenever i'm like not everything's gay #i feel like the showrunners of teen wolf

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eu1a1awrence · 3 years

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Release the Harpocrates!George analysis??

😳👉👈

OOOOOH ANON U HAVE UNLEASHED THE FLOOD GATES YES. YES I SHALL.

im kinda copy-pasting this from google docs so sorry if any formatting fucks up, and its incredibly selfserving and specific in an attempt to find any and all possible links (do i really believe that they investigated this hard into the mythology? no. would this still be cool as shit? yes!)

so anyway disclaimer i am no mythology historian so if any of this is wrong uh...... artistic license.?. also its kinda long. sorry in advance lmao

okay so harpocrates is a greek interpretation of horus (the ancient egyptian god of the sun). hes the greek god of silence/secrets, but the greeks sorta misinterpreted the egyptian symbol for child (because horus was often depicted as a child/child god) as a symbol for silence, and i kind of relate this to fanon mis/interpretations of georges character being naive (''Naive and weak, George usually doesn't know what to do'' via dsmp wiki.) when he's just as much a seasoned warrior as the others, he just doesnt get involved with it much.

additional meanings/symbols of harpocrates is that he was ‘the distant one’ or ‘the one who is above’, which i think relates directly to georges apathy (regardless of its fanon or canon misinterpretations). also possibly something about his developing relationship with dreamxd & his developing lore to being /more than/ human so to say.

so if we accept that george really IS harpocrates, there are several links - and here is where it becomes distinctly intricate in an attempt to find as many similarities as possible, and youll have to forgive me for it - one may draw between harpocrates, george, and their symbolism.

like that Horus is the form of the first sun, and george is one of the founding members of DSMP.

harpocrates is commonly represented by a sheaf of corn. George was desperate to get back to his wheat farming during the loreman streams

bad told george in those streams to 'ask the sky' if he should take bad's items' when dreamxd killed him. horus>sun god>the sun & moon are commonly referred to as his eyes. this could also be some sort of hint to dreamxd being an omniscient sort of being tho. or both. who knows

Harpocrates (at least, his egyptian form as the young horus) was often depicted on a lotus flower. Lotus flower symbolism seems incredibly relevant to DSMP. they symbolise purity (innocence, childishness, naivety; bad referred to his items as ‘infected’, and george has never been to visit the egg - perhaps he’s pure of it?), enlightenment (there is a lot of emphasis and continued references to knowledge, curiosity, and ‘knowing the truth’. Karl, dream, quackity, and fundy seem to currently be the main purveyors of this and ¾ of them have relations to george), self regeneration and rebirth (resurrection book).

like idk maybe its a huge reach (probably is tbh) but theres a lot of underlying symbolism???

lotus flowers are also used as symbols of the union of higher/lower egypt and the union of two kingdoms, which makes me think of, like, the inbetween and the other-side, or life/death, and sleep/awake, greater dsmp/lmanberg, i could probably go on.

in egyptian mythology, young horus’s parents were osiris (the god of the underworld/death) and isis (goddess of death/magic/healing). There are a few moments where george tries to make amends/healings (like telling dreamxd to apologise after being excessively violent, ‘we’ll make amends’ in his lorestream). also (this part is bullshit and selfserving because i just think its cool) but wilbur playing loreman, being georges dad, and wilburs canonical character being an omen of death and destruction and the fact that (young) horus’s father was osiris.

the fact that egyptian pharoahs were seen as reincarnations of horus to the king george arc but maybe this is pushing it a bit (as if the rest of it hasnt been)

SO. horus is commonly depicted with a falcon or a sparrowhawk head. falcons symbolise freedom and victory, and were also often related to war gods in egypt. Spiritually, a falcon symbolises wisdom and protection (again, another mention to knowledge/wisdom, and george is presumably desperate for protection as seen in his desperation for netherite armour from dreamXD). Sparrowhawks symbolise the need to tap into a warrior at any time; like george calling/inviting dreamXD to the SMP whenever he's online which im fairly sure was discussed in georges lore stream too?

also roses are sometimes symbolic of harpocrates. they are sometimes used to show guests that any topic discussed in the room receiving them is not to be repeated or discussed elsewhere: where have we seen roses recently? the syndicate. (also the in-between and the quackity art, if you want to pull it into other lore avenues. All of these thrive on secrecy; karl keeping his time travel a secret; the syndicate remaining secret; and quackity not telling anyone about much of what goes on las nevadas/his prison visits with dream).

anyway: this was like all just for fun and i dont think it’s going to come true at all, it would just be cool as anything :> apologies again if any of my facts are wrong im just trying to tie knots in the lore with wet spaghetti

also a lot of this was aided by help from @insert-cleverurl bc we spent like. a while brainrotting this on discord. :D maybe one day ill make more lore theory/analysis posts because i have a cool dream/dreamxd one bubbling away

#c!george #dsmp #dreamsmp #lore thoughts #georgenotfound #c!george lore #c!george analysis #kinda analysis #???? lol idk #im gay and i write fanfiction i just like thinking about the possibilities #and as a bamf george advocate i think this is a post i was legally obligated to make

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the-pope-is-in · 3 years

Text

upcoming works

if anyone here has read/enjoyed my fics , I just wanted to post my ENTIRE drafts to let you know what’s coming next (I can’t promise I’ll get around to all of these, but if there’s any you want me to prioritize , just let me know)

in no specific order

Legolas Greenleaf (LOTR) - based more off of the movies than the books. oc is half elf half sorceress and she goes on Bilbo’s adventure .. eventually meeting Legolas in mirkwood and then fighting with him in the battle of five armies. after the battle, she finds him again and begs him to take her with him because she doesn’t want to go back to her old life again. they go on a bunch of adventures. oc is besties w aragorn.

Lemony Snicket (ASOUE) - as in his entity as a character in the series, not the author himself (more the tv show than the books even though the books were my ENTIRE childhood) ((the author’s actual name is daniel handler and he’s a lovely person)) anyways,

my advice for you first and foremost is to never fall in love with a writer

especially if that writer is a prominent member of a secret organization

especially especially if said writer is committed to uncovering and documenting the sad lives of three orphans, the children of a past lover who has died tragically

my name is odessa denouement and I am begging you to put this book down and go read something more pleasant, such as the littlest elf or a story that doesn't involve pain, suffering, and a general lack of morals

odessa and lemony meet when their VFD missions overlap and they’re forced into a number of highly dangerous situations together. features a tragic ending.

Percy Weasley and Oliver Wood (HP) - because we all know they were in love. probably their last years of hogwarts into the second war. focuses a lot on percy going to the dark side. probably pretty angsty.

Will Turner (POTC)- oc is Jack Sparrow’s daughter. she’s super cool. raised by pirates. best parental relationship I’ve ever written (I usually go for the really shitty parent trope, but this time their relationship is rlly soft and makes me happy) anyways, she falls in love with will turner and it’s hot.

Beatrice and Phillipa (HP) - cute lesbians in gryffindor (golden trio era). should probably read my bill weasley series first because it’s a spinoff. would probably be their fifth year to sometime around the end of the war. main focus would be bea’s shift to the dark side.

FP Jones (Riverdale) - gotta preface this one with the fact that I hate riverdale as much as the next guy (sorry riverdale fans) I mean . the show’s insane. BUT FP is what got me through it. so this is the story of him and jughead’s mom in the 80s , then there’s a time jump to the first or second season. going to be short but cute.

Steven Hyde (that 70s show) - NOT played by d*nny m*sterson. anyways, oc moves to point place from nyc with her mom (who kinda sucks -yes, we’re back to the shitty parent trope-) falls for hyde and it’s rly angsty. at some point she lives in hyde’s old house but i’m not sure exactly when bc idk what season I want to start the season on. she’s also best friends with jackie because I’m in love with jackie.

Regulus and Marlene (HP) - umm so to be completely honest I don’t know what the plan was for this one. the only thing it says in the draft is “marlene is a slytherin”. I think I was high when I made it. but I feel like there’s some sort of potential there so we’ll see what happens.

Remus Lupin (HP) - either wolfstar or a slytherin oc or maybe regulus I don’t know. I have some ideas for scenes, but no specific people or genders or really any details at all. I just know I’m in love with remus and want to write about him and his sweaters.

Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad) - oc and jesse keep meeting by chance. first it’s because she’s staying at his parent’s house out of necessity (ep 2), then it’s because she’s Jane’s roommate, then it’s at Jane’s funeral. they keep saying they’re parting ways. that they’ll never see each other again, but it doesn’t work. one way or another, they’ll end up together.

Minerva McGonagall and Pomona Sprout (HP) - one of my fav ships ever. would start in their sixth year and there would be a few major time jumps over the course of the story. very soft relationship.

Peter Parker (MCU) - oc has powers over the elements. recruited to the avengers by tony stark. in the process of said transition, hydra attacks her family and oc is filled with rage. throughout the story, she lives with different members of the avengers (she moves around a lot) and she and peter have a friends to lovers sort of thing.

Daniel Desario (Freaks and Geeks) - charlotte’s been friends with the freaks since she was a kid. she’s been on-again-off-again dating nick since middle school, she has mixed feelings about kim, ken is her favorite person ever, and she is hopelessly in love with Daniel. when lindsay comes into the picture and things shift dramatically, charlotte finally has the chance to shoot her shot.

Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) - word for word what I have in my drafts:

ummmmm so we've got a main character named ummmmmm sophie or phoebe or something and shes like blonde and short and only three months older than reid and sup super smart like with math and science and stuff and she graduated early and has a doctorate and is smart and stuff but doesnt really tell anyone and looks kinda sloppy and has a really relaxed attitude and we love her - she almost dropped out of high school because she was bored but then agent gideon was like dude come on ill give u a job (or something?)

oh and her parents and little brother died in a fire when she was eight only her older brother survived and they are super close she loves him so much but she has some trauma from constantly being sent to foster homes where nodbody wanted to keep her bc shes difficult and also like watching her parents die so she has a HUGE fear of fire and an irrational fear of big dogs

ANYWAYS starts off with her at her house and she's just hangin she has a cat and she's making herself dinner and she's one of those super cute single bi girls who likes her plants and her music and her science bookstore

friends in college story (an original work) - okay so I wanna go to film school (I want to be a screenwriter) and this is an original script I’ve been working on but I might adapt parts of it to a story. basically it’s like a dark academia sitcom where a bunch of liberal, progressive kids go to this rural, ultra-christian college for different reasons and find each other and become the ELITE friend group. obviously it would have a better name than the “friends in college story” although now it’s sort of growing on me

the new tragedy (an original work) - “sometimes i need to remind myself that you existed. You were real, you were so real. your hair was real, your crooked smile was real. the way you couldnt talk in the morning before you’d had your coffee, or how you could never get to sleep at night without an episode of whatever show you were obsessing over in the moment. oh my god. you were real.

she looked like death. the guy, not the concept. sallow skin and dark, sunken eyes that absorbed all of the light and trapped it, holding it hostage and never letting it out. when she smiled, the light poured all over her, like she was taking a shower in it. when she frowned, she looked like a storm cloud. I loved her. I loved her so much.

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troop52 · 3 years

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do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

#SORRY THIS TOOK A BIT #I had to use my brainpower and I am very easily distracted #max kirkwood #ephraim elliot #kent jenks #newton thornton #shelley longpre #the troop #the troop nick cutter

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simonalkenmayeris-still-dead · 3 years

Text

CC1 - The Myth

OR why am I subjecting myself to this nonsense?

As I have mentioned, a friend of mine began reading The Book, and sent me some choice excerpts. I became intrigued. Not because it’s good, it actually seems pretty creepy, but because I think Si accidentally wrote a paranormal romance.

So before we even start the book, there’s a disclaimer. IDK if it was in the original book. It begins “Dearest Gentle Reader,” which is not a great start if I’m the one reading because I hate that sort of affectation in writing.

Like, if someone writes “dear readers” in a fanfic, it has to be really good for me to continue reading.

This disclaimer is basically saying that although 2012 was such a long time ago, and Simon was an ignorant fool when he wrote this, he can’t be bothered actually editing it properly, so please forgive him ahead of time if he did something wrong.

If you ever find yourself writing something like this, you need an editor.

Just so you know, nothing happens in this chapter. It’s supposed to be an introduction to Simon and how he’s a monster, but you do NOT need a whole chapter for that.

Simon also really needs an editor. There are multiple sentences in this chapter that lack correct sentence structure.

For example, in the first paragraph we have this “Yes, I eat people, though the correct term is anthropophage”. For this sentence to make sense, anthropophage would need to mean “eating people”, as in the act of eating people, it would need to be a verb. So, when I google this, which Simon tells you to do, I get this result

An anthropophage or anthropophagus was a member of a mythical race of cannibals

So anthropophage doesn’t refer to the act of eating people. It’s a noun. It refers to not just cannibals (which Simon maintains he isn’t) but a specific race of cannibals.

That sentence makes no sense. And there are plenty of similar sentence constructions throughout this chapter. I’m not going to point out all of them, except where they affect the narrative, because we’d be here all day.

After Simon begins his “succinct” first paragraph, in which he repeats himself four times, he decides to open with how we must be feeling.

As many of you may know by now, I am not a fan of being told how I must feel, whether that is to my face, in a blog post, or in a book, so he’s losing me.

I also really hate Simon’s “voice”, because it’s really inconsistent. He veers wildly between what I assume the author thinks is some sort of period affectation, and modern English, when he could have chosen one.

This is partly because the person writing doesn’t have a style, and partly because they haven’t had their work edited. And because Simon doesn’t research. The best way to mimic a style of writing from a certain period is to read things from that period. You can’t just shove words like “one” or “quaint” into your writing and expect it to sound authentic.

Anyway, Simon’s long and belaboured point, is that everything we think we know about monsters is wrong. He spends another 3 paragraphs reiterating this and then passes up the opportunity to use the phrase “you may not believe in us, but we believe in you.” This is a good phrase, human minds like repetition. Instead we got “you may not be afraid of us, but we are still here.”

Disappointing.

Then we have some maths and may I just say, if maths is not your strong suit, do not try to put it in your book.

Simon has heard that up to fifty thousand people go missing every year. He doesn’t know that, he’s just heard it, so from the outset, he’s not even using facts.

For some reason, he thinks missing people must either be murdered or assume a new identity. Those are the only two options he has.

In reality, a huge number of missing persons are not exactly missing, they’re people escaping abuse situations, and they get reported missing by their abuser. Those people aren’t assuming a new identity or dead.

Simon also thinks all humans dump corpses in national forests. I don’t know why he thinks this. I expect there’s a lot of cleanup after dumping someone in a park. Would it really be worth your while to drive all that way when there’s probably somewhere closer in a city where you could get the job done? This is what cement boots are for, right? I also don’t think murderers go to all that trouble of dumping a body just to leave it out in the open like that. They’re going to at least dig a grave.

It’s also apparently unfeasible that anyone could adopt a new identity without a single hitch. But you don’t actually have to adopt a new identity seamlessly to “go missing”. The going missing part is just where you drop your old identity. Hitches in adopting a new one are a separate issue.

Or maybe I’m just sensitive to this because I’m trans.

And then, in explaining why he isn’t going to claim his species is completely responsible for all missing people… Simon cites two things that do not cause people to go missing as examples for humanity’s awesome cruelty.

Awesome? Not awful? Okay then.

I understand that he’s trying to make a point, the theme of the book is obviously “humans are more monstrous than a real monster”, but the point loses something if you make it with a stupid example.

Oh and then we come to my favourite part of this chapter.

It is an experiment. A point. An argument for the furthering of knowledge. Mixed with a little boredom, if I am honest. You are a test subject. By reading this, you give consent to tell me what I need to know.

An experiment isn’t supposed to be making a point, Simon. That’s not what experiments do. Also, what is that last sentence? Is he a mind reader now?

I think Simon may be a little fixated on the “by <performing act> you give consent” concept. But if you are telling someone something, you’ve presumably given consent. The act of communicating with someone actually implies more consent than reading a book.

Now I’m gonna skip down to the part where he decides I don’t believe him. I hope this telling me what I think isn’t going to continue all through the book because I’m not sure I can handle it.

Also, Simon really wishes this book had ended up on CW network. I know this because he says how disappointed he would be if that happened. I personally wouldn’t write anything about the possibility of my book being adapted for screen in the book itself. It kind of sounds like you think it’s your due when it’s really not. Or like the only reason you wrote the book was to get rich off it.

There is one notable part of this chapter, and it’s this

If you are hoping to hear my account of slavery, you should know that I was fixated upon the flavors of meat raised in the terroir of Virginian tobacco plantations, and didn’t even notice the skin color of any given human.

We all know how Simon would excuse this, he’d say it’s not his fault he’s a monster blah blah blah. But honestly, this is racist. Even setting skin colour aside, is he trying to tell us he didn’t notice some humans were being treated as chattel? I would think that’s something he would need to keep abreast of, considering he says he targets his food according to whether they’d be missed.

He also says his purpose isn’t to rewrite our past, which gives a great indication of what he thinks the past is (all the big events you learn about in primary school, no society and culture). But that’s exactly what he wants to do.

Skipping down some more, over the part where he says if I find him funny, to consider he may not be kidding – it’s okay Simon, I’m laughing at you, not with you – and the part about diaries being a proper pursuit. Even past the insult about mentally ill people.

BECAUSE THEN WE GET

“harangue me about being a second-rate author; but please be polite.”

Does Simon know what harangue means? It means a tirade. It’s not polite.

Another paragraph about how we shouldn’t care about his feelings because he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks. And this next bit.

“You are encouraged to embrace this tale however you see fit, communicate with its author any way you can”

Except, apparently, from creating a tumblr blog, that is very wrong.

And that’s it! Literally nothing happened. Hopefully things get more exciting in Chapter 2.

#the creature's cookbook #ch1

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

Text

The more I think about Ren's new semblance ability and the scene with the Ace Ops, the more I hate it. Long post full of crit ahead.

No one else is discovering new semblance abilities in tense situations other than Jaune, who discovered his one ability. Llike, maybe the Fall of Beacon would've been stressful enough people would be discovering new abilities? And Weiss doesn't count, because her ability was treated like just another glyph, only this one is special. Whether getting new powers is experience and skill based, or trauma based, long time hunters like Qrow and James should have way more abilities than they do, and the Ace Ops and Winter all should have at least two powers. CRWBY is very choosy about how and when they use their ill defined rules about auras and semblances.

Ren is in control of this power right after getting it, and chooses to use it on the Ace Ops and Winter, but not Yang or Jaune. This implies that Ren doesn't read their emotions because that's a breach of privacy, but feels free to not only breach the Ace Ops privacy, but talk about it out loud. Because trust is for friends, and so are basic boundaries. It would make sense to me for Ren to use his new powers on Jaune and Yang as well, since he's doubting everyone’s capabilities and strength right now. But whatever. Why would we need to know how they feel?

But on that… Why do we need to know how the Ace Ops feel??? We as an audience already know Marrow is sad and doubting his place, Harriet is angry incarnate, Elm is also angry, and Vine seems fine. This doesn't do anything for the story except let Ren try to divide them more than they already are, during the worst time possible. Sure, while Salem's at Atlas's doorstep and literal children are probably dead, tell one of the members of the most elite team of Atlas graduates who were just tasked with a vitally important mission to ditch his position. Winter seemed fully convinced by Jaune actually having a good plan, so Ren figuring out a new power and turning into a mood ring didn't do anything. Also, Ren doesn't just tell them what they're feeling, he also reads their motivation and where they belong at the same time. Because 'Harriet angry' apparently translates into 'Harriet is incredibly torn up about Clover dying and trying not to feel it!' And 'Marrow sad' apparently means 'Marrow no longer fits in with this group and is actually a good person!'

And then Ren reads Winter's emotions and sees that Winter is feeling everything. So like… Okay. Are the Ace Ops Tinkerbell in the Peter Pan book? Only able to feel one emotion at a time? Harriet isn't angry and sad, she's just so angry it's all Ren can see! And Vine isn't sad, or angry, he's just (presumably) calm. But Winter is feeling all the emotions equally. Which of course, means she also doesn't belong here.Most adults feel more than one thing at a time, by the way. Idk why this makes Ren think Winter is special and different, rather than him wondering how the Ace Ops can only be displaying one emotion.

Ren also tells the Ace Ops the reason they fail is their terrible team work, since they won't admit they're friends, despite the fact they fought amazingly as a team at the start of the last season. Everyone jot that down. Strategy, planning, experience, knowledge of each other's skill set, and common goals all mean nothing. The only thing that can make you a fully functional team is friendship. We're ignoring the fact that Blake and Yang scoffed at the idea of working outside of their duo, never mind that the group literally drew their weapons on Qrow in V6 and demanded he do what they want or leave. Never mind that Yang and Ruby are currently fighting, Yang and Blake are apparently fighting, Yang and Ren are fighting, and Ren and Nora have been distant, cold, and frustrated with each other for one and a half seasons now. They still haven't had any problems fighting as a team because underneath it all, they're friends! In a normal, fun romp anime or cartoon, I might be able to be okay with this. But isn't RWBY marketing itself as a hopeful grimdark? Or at least, aren’t they saying this is a more mature, nuanced tone than the fun romp that only hinted at more darkness in the early seasons? You can't have 'morally gray characters that drift between ally and antagonist’ just lose because they aren't admitting they’re friends in even a hopeful grimdark. And it’s not strong plot for the most powerful graduates of a strict military school who have been on the field for at least a couple years (except maybe Marrow) lose to the first year drop outs THEY HELPED TRAIN because they're hiding their feelings for each other. I'm sorry, I thought this was a show where skill and consequence mattered.

On top of all this… We all know that portraying women of color - specifically black women - as constantly angry and hiding her emotions is a racist stereotype, right? I don't mean 'having a black women displaying anger is racist,' but again, the show had Ren sense her emotions and figure out what's wrong with her, and she was only angry, and Ren decided she's hiding her feelings behind a wall of thick anger. Elm is the same way, even going so far as to try and attack Ren. And it's not just this instance. They've been overwhelmingly angry since the end of volume six. Whether or not CRWBY thought this through, they should've done a google search that could've let them know not to do it. Vine is almost as bad in being the stoic, calm, at peace, Asian. I'm only holding off on calling him just as bad because I don't know for sure that green represents peace or calm.

Don't get me wrong, there were things I liked about that scene. Ren choosing to act and do what he could was a great choice, he clearly took what Jaune said to heart, and decided inaction due to doubts and fears wouldn't help anyone. I hope this doesn't mean the end of Ren doubting things and challenging the team (since his concerns are very valid and weren't solved,) but I like that direction. Winter really shined in this scene. I just wish the writers would put as much care and complexity into Harriet, Elm, and Vine. And the main star of this scene in my opinion was Jaune. He didn't fight the plan to blow up the whale, only requesting that they be allowed to go in ahead and try to rescue Oscar and laying out the benefits. I love this. Jaune isn't asking her not to do her job, he's not doubting that it has to be done, he's not blaming her for it, and he's accepting that if they go in, they may become part of that sacrifice. But he's trying to save a friend that's important to him anyway. I think this might be the best I've ever liked Jaune, actually.

But the cons of this scene, in my opinion, severely out weigh the pros.

#rwby criticism #rwby critical #rwby crit #RWDE #rwde content #I know this is pretty severe #the rest of the episode isn't bad!#although ruby weiss and blake doing nothing was weird and bad #May Marigold Whitley and Jaune are the stars of this ep #I just kept thinking about this scene and realizing things I didn't like #it was like the Hobbit all over again

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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years

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i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

#long post #sorry its so messy but like i said its almost 3 am and i dont want to go back and format all this #i might come back and make it look nicer in the morning #maybe not who knows #i just checked and this is 1.5k words what the hell

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tempestaurora · 4 years

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Your tags under the Peggy post. I’m shaking!!! Please punch marvel in the face and let us have that movie!!! That’s the most perfect fix it idea ever!!!!

can i actually just run through my avengers movie idea for a sec? because it’s been one of my repeated day dreams since april 2019.

alright: so it’s set maybe six months, maybe a year after avengers: endgame. unfortunately, tony and nat are dead. this cannot change, unless we get some kind of magic going, and i’m not knowledgeable about marvel magic enough to get a fix. so.

we start on an avengers: age of ultron-like fight scene, where the remaining avengers - literally whoever is left, plus spider-man, maybe bucky if he’s feeling it - are kicking some butt. maybe aim or modok or something, its irrelevant. they clean up, head home, and perhaps swing by the new compound. it’s smaller than the last one, still in the same kind of location. there’s clearly work still being done to fix it up.

steve is perhaps out on the grass, reading a book. maybe he’s in a wheelchair, because he’s old now. they say hello, head inside, maybe someone stays out to talk to him. now, a new character/avenger could totally bring it up - in my head, i like to imagine jessica drew or riri williams, or one of the young avengers maybe. alternatively, perhaps there’s just boxes all over the foyer.

“what the hell is this?” sam might ask, after tripping over one. he had not been looking where he was going.

“oh! my delivery!” perhaps bruce replies, as he is the last remaining Science Guy (not including rhodey, who is Weapon Science Guy) in the avengers. “after shield-gate and the decryption of those files, a lot of old shield stuff got declassified.”

“and it’s here?”

“well shield’s still kind of... gone, i guess. where’s a safer place for it than here? ooh, the report on who killed jfk!”

bucky, across the room: “want a spoiler?”

the plot goes on; perhaps there are more aim or modok or something bases to be taken down. or a criminal gang. idk. they’re a side plot, who will perhaps become important in the final act, but for now, bruce starts reading through his files, until:

“barnes! you might be interested in this. it’s the original ssr paperwork about dr. erskine’s serum.”

“the one steve’s got?”

“the very same.” they flip through a few pages, and bruce slows. “this doesn’t make sense.”

“hm?”

“the serum. it’s self-sustaining. self-vitalising.”

“in english?”

“steve’s cells are reproductive. when they die, more take their place. it’s how he combats illness; his cells flip over so fast that the sick ones don’t have a chance to catch on. but...”

“but what?”

“if this is accurate--which, it is. i’ve looked at his bloodwork myself! if this is right, it means that steve’s ageing should be slower than a regular human’s. perhaps by three times, even.”

“and what does that mean?” bucky is frowning now.

bruce looks from him, and then moves to the window, where steve is out on the grass, reading a book. “it means that he shouldn’t look like that.”

“banner?”

bruce turns around. “he lived one life in the other timeline, right? lived his life with peggy carter and then came right home.”

“yeah? yes.”

“then... that’s not steve. it can’t be.”

there’s dramatic music, bruce and bucky’s worried faces. steve takes a sip of a fruity drink from a straw.

they bring in some kind of scientist they know; maybe cho, idk, and they go over his bloodwork in secret. slowly, more people are let in on the secret, like sam, who bucky tells because he’s on the team, he guesses, but he’s only got like one friend. perhaps there’s still that other danger going on, but they really need to get to the bottom of this -

if that’s not steve, who the hell is it? and if that’s someone else, then where the hell is steve rogers?

scott lang and hope van dyne get called in to help build another quantum machine - they don’t have one anymore after steve returned the stones. a time machine is a bit too dangerous, even for them. old steve is around quite often - he likes the quiet, he has a room in the compound, no friends his own (new) age.

but something slips. he’s watching. he may look old, but his hearing’s still good. his vision’s still spectacular. he’s not steve rogers. he’s something else. they cannot comprehend his knowledge.

for much of the plot, we aren’t sure if they’re right, that he’s not steve. he’s acting like steve. he has steve’s memories, his voice, his mannerisms. maybe some people are sceptical - like peter, perhaps, on a weekend visit to train, psyched about the quantum realm idea, but really guys? because old steve has called me queens since the funeral. he can even recite those dumb psas he made. maybe peter talks too much, too loud, and the fake steve rogers knows the jig is up. they’re going to access the quantum realm and find the original steve - this is his final chance.

“you know,” old steve says, heaving himself to his feet, “your friends are right. i’m not steve rogers.” he starts growing bigger, and possibility gelatinous. i imagine it like the young avengers’ mother - some inter-dimensional being, who becomes sinewy, creeping tendrils of flesh and matter; massive in size with a harpy kind of roar. everyone rushes out to see this gigantic mound of flesh--

“what the hell is that, parker??!!”

“uhhh that’s not-steve. he’s acting very not steve today.”

the fight begins, and it becomes clear that whatever this is took steve’s place. stole him, kept him hidden somewhere, and now they’ve gotta get him back. they separate into teams; fighting the monster and racing to the quantum realm. at first, no one has their suits - perhaps they tag team it, or get new suits, or maybe peter has edith on him, and he calls down another iron spider, and she informs him that there’s a falcon x/captain america suit or something; a nanobot suit for sam. something very cool for the suit up, you know?

meanwhile, bucky and bruce are at the quantum machine; perhaps parts of the monster have detached themselves and fight them, too. perhaps the monster calls down its brethren and glowing green lights appear, monsters crawling out from other worlds. bucky gets suited up, and bruce sends him back--

there’s a battle--and bucky flying through time--and fighting--and bucky getting smaller and smaller--and chaos--and bucky landing in the night on a street in 1949.

he gets it pretty fast. it understands why steve might want to stay here. it’s the kind of life they dreamed for themselves after the war. a quiet suburban street; the city off in the distance. the lights are on in plenty of houses, bright yellow. he knows almost automatically which one to look at.

he peers through the front window, and there they are: peggy carter and steve rogers. he looks exactly as he did the last time bucky saw him young. they’re smiling. they’re dancing. perhaps not well - bucky was always the better dancer of the two. he’s about to raise his fist and knock on the window, but then peggy and steve stop, look around, and two small children, one blonde, one brunette, come rushing in. they laugh, picking them up and spinning them around, part of the dance. bucky stares.

there’s a massive fight in the compound, maybe doctor strange is there? idk. maybe he could feel the walls of the dimension cracking open to let these monsters through. thor is there, he deserves to be. captain marvel perhaps, too. but the more they knock down, the more grow back.

perhaps bucky walks through the neighbourhood, visits his family. he knows that no matter how long he spends in this place, it will only be a minute in the real world. so he goes home. he gets on a bus, then a train, hops the turnstile and finds his old house. he’s come home from war. his family cries. he cries. he holds his mother. his father calls his sisters and they rush through the night to greet him. he can’t leave in the night, he can’t. so he sleeps there until morning. returns to steve’s house and watches from a distance as they do the school run.

peggy kisses him goodbye and leaves for work. steve watches her go. but he is still perceptive as ever; he sees bucky, heads over. they hug. they talk. bucky breaks the news to him: this isn’t real. this is made up. a simulation, specifically to keep you here. something else has taken over your life.

steve doesn’t believe it - maybe they fight, i’m not sure. maybe bucky gets angry and even spits out the words “are they even searching for me yet? have you even told them what i’m going through right now? it’s 1949 - i remember this year as the year my handler got pretty trigger happy with waterboarding.”

we go between the fight at the compound and the 40s a few times, as bucky spends the day stewing and steve spends the day looking thoughtful and sending meaningful looks out the window to where bucky had been standing, but no longer was. as it grows dark again, early evening, the children return home from school, peggy comes back from work, steve starts cooking dinner.

he looks out the window and sees bucky out on the front path, watching the yellow-lit kitchen. he goes outside, asks if he wants to come in.

“no,” bucky replies. “if i go in, i’ll never leave.”

“is that such a bad thing?” steve asks.

“it is when it’s not real.”

“buck--”

“i wanted a life back then. i wanted this. some nice house in some nice neighbourhood. fall in love, settle down - the whole nine yards. but i got captured, steve. i got tortured, and brainwashed, and now i live in the twenty-first century, and i fight bad guys with ridiculous powers, and i have a computer that i can carry around in my pocket, and--things are good there! even the skinny, angry version of you could’ve lived better there. might’ve even got a cure or two for your sicknesses.”

“bucky--”

“this, though. this isn’t real, steve. i want it to be, so badly. you deserve this. deserve the peace and quiet. deserve the life, and the happiness and the--the girl. but right now, in the time you left, there’s a monster tearing up your friends. our friends. and they need help.”

“they’ve got captain america.”

“they don’t need captain america. they need steve rogers.”

steve can’t help but look back through the window, to where peggy and his kids are talking, serving up dinner. he sighs. “i can’t leave this behind, buck. i can’t.”

bucky sighs, perhaps this argument goes on longer, but he resigns himself to it. “i thought you might say that. i’ll be out here for another hour, and then i’m going back.”

bucky waits outside on the front path for an hour. steve eats his dinner and laughs with his family. when the time comes, bucky gets up, and looks back at the front door, hopeful. but--steve doesn’t show. he heads back.

the fight continues on, bucky breaks the news to bruce, and there are some bad injuries, maybe. i’d say that someone might die, but the real emotional climax of this film is steve-centred, so we probably don’t need a death. fighting goes on for an avengers-appropriate amount of time, and the tide turns against the avengers. then... just as all hope seems lost:

a second captain america shield slices through a monster, pinning down sam. its that holographic one (photon?) from the comics; just something tony had worked up before he died. the camera pans over to steve in his captain america get up; the same one he left in; catching the shield.

more fighting, then steve: “are you using my shield?”

sam: “the other, fake you gave it to me.”

steve shrugs. “it looks good on you. keep it.”

also during/near the end of the fight, bucky and steve reunite, and hug, because i’m a sucker for hugs.

bucky: “i thought you weren’t coming back”

steve: “i wasn’t. but--i couldn’t leave you behind again. not after you showed up like that.”

“but how’d you get back?”

“i still had my pim particles and suits stored in the attic. i think the monster stole my shield when he stuck me there, but he left everything else behind.”

“... i’m glad you’re back.”

“i’m glad to be back. really.”

they win the fight. i dont care how. maybe aim or modok or something shows up or maybe good old fashioned teamwork gets the job done. but they’re happy, and they’re together, and inter-dimensional travel has now been introduced. *cough* spiderverse *cough*

steve still gives up captain america - he’d spent four years in the past as a stay-at-home dad and husband, only using the old suit for press stuff, so he doesn’t really want it back. he liked settling down. that’s what he wants. perhaps he moves to brooklyn or harlem or wherever, to whatever apartment bucky and sam set up for themselves. he cooks and paints (a little girl with blonde hair and a small boy with eyes like peggy carter’s) and punches his fist halfheartedly in the air, droning “go team” whenever they head out on their missions.

he really did mean it when he said sam looked good with the shield.

there would probably be a b plot of another character Doing Things, like thor and captain marvel and whatever their adventure is. but i don’t know what it is yet. there’s a happy ending. then, the first credits scene is some inter-dimensional shenanigans and a villain being introduced. i personally imagine that kang is going to be the next big villain, but he’s time travel, not dimensional travel, so i don’t know.

then, your optional after credits scene: bucky and steve standing by the kitchen counter, talking and whatnot. i don’t know what about. maybe bucky’s getting ready for a mission, maybe steve’s just in a white tshirt and sweats and he’s just having a nice day, making himself some coffee, reading a good book. they talk, and steve nods bucky over.

“what?” bucky asks.

“thank you,” steve replies.

“... ‘til the end of the line, remember? i’ve got your back, rogers.”

“and i’ve got yours. you know that?”

“course i do.”

they smile. they’re happy. they’re at home. the screen goes black as soon as steve leans in and kisses bucky.

(or: your platonic ending: the screen goes black as soon as steve and bucky bump fists in a friendly non-gay way)

then: STEVE ROGERS WILL RETURN IN THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

it’s a reoccurring role. he’s largely in the background, cheering them on, and occasionally waiting up in bed when bucky gets home from a late-night mission. he trains sam with the shield on weekends.

the end

#marvel #mcu #steve rogers #avengers #avengers endgame #no read more cut we die like men #this took me almost an hour to write up #despite only taking ten minutes to imagine #anyway: kevin feige hire me #bethany talks #Anonymous

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logicallyblind · 3 years

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hello and welcome to my list of Weirdly Specific Things I do because of my untreated &/or undiagnosed mental illnesses:

(disclaimer I have been diagnosed with generalised depression and anxiety disorder but I amn’t medicated and don’t go to therapy)

- have no internal drive to do anything at all despite,,, wanting to? like “i need to wash my face. it’s 11pm my face feels gross i need to wash it” *does nothing* “i want to wash my face i need to get up go wash it.” *still does nothing* “it’s 12am i WANT TO WASH MY FACE ITS BEEN AN HOUR I NEE-“ and i still can’t move to actually do it??

- random bursts of intense productivity that can/will fizzle out half way through the activity that i then abandon and move onto something else

- has a HORRIBLE memory and forgets things constantly including names, dates, directions, things i’ve literally just been told

- DIRECTIONS. I CAN’T DO DIRECTIONS ITS LIKE MY BRAIN HAS A MENTAL BLOCK AGAINST THEM I HAVE NO CONCEPT OF GEOGRAPHY OR HOW TO GET SOMEWHERE EVEN IF I HAVE BEEN THERE A MILLION TIMES ITS EMBARRASSING

- will forget the piece of information i was literally told 12 seconds ago but can recount a conversation i had with someone perfectly from 8 years ago

- can’t do things without music but then it’s like this music doesn’t fit, too loud, too fast, this doesn’t fit, BAD NOISE WRONG NOISE, this one is distracting me wrong, okay now this makes me want to tear my ears off- this is the perfect sound, no wait this one doesn’t fit anymore either fuck-

- more under the cut -

- this happens all the time with music/tv/films like suddenly the sound is Too Much and i can’t handle it so i have to turn it off NOW even if it means abandoning a film half way through or most of the time just watching something with subtitles and no sound

- over talks/ rambles CONSTANTLY in conversations despite knowing that i’m doing it i can’t make myself Stop

- have clenched my jaw hard enough over the years that i have developed tmj and get lockjaw moments at the worst possible times

- flits through topics in conversation seemingly completely at random to other people with no connection to one another/ talks so fast that i start stumbling over my words and it takes a minute for my brain to catch up to my mouth

- will lose track of the conversation i’m currently having half way though and will trail off and zone out or go “...wait what were we saying?”

- ZONES OUT A L L THE TIME ESPECIALLY WHEN I SHOULDNT like when i’m cooking/driving/using knives etc etc

- jumps between being obsessed with a certain hobby for maybe a week before completely abandoning it and moving into the next one

- procrastinates watching a film/tv show for literal months but will watch tiktoks and youtube vídeos for hours

- opens tiktok *watches one* *goes out and goes into instagram* *scrolls for about 30 seconds* *goes back to tiktok* *goes to safari and reads paragraph of fanfic i was reading* *goes into tumblr and reads one post* *back to tiktok again* *remembers a post i saw on instagram 2 weeks ago and tries to refind it* *back to tumblr* and then rinse and repeat.

- jumps from obsession to obsession since i was a child like i don’t remember a time when i didn’t have a slight obsession with at least one type of media that i sold my soul and body to and learned every available scrap of information on it and fixated on it for anything between months to years at a time until my brain latches on to the next thing and then it’s just rewind to the start of the cycle again

- used to be able to inhale books and read like 1000 page books in a single sitting to now being unable to finish reading a single paragraph without losing track of what it’s saying/ losing interest and just giving up

- has to write everything down into lists to try to organise it in my head because everything gets all jumbled up/ messy or i get distracted when it’s just in my brain

- Cannot Do Math To Save My Life i can’t concentrate on the numbers long enough to solve the problem before my brain starts focusing on other things instead or the numbers just?? float away like when i try to do maths in my head it’s like the numbers are made of smoke and i’m trying to keep them in place with my hands and if my concentration slips for even a second they just disappear it’s infuriating

- bites fingernails/plays with hair/taps fingers/ plays with fingers/ twisting earrings or necklace literally for as long as i can remember

- gets weird mood swings where i will randomly go on these like ?? idek highs?? like i’ll get all jittery and hyper and feel like i can Do Anything And No One Can Stop Me LETS CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF AND SET THIS GARDEN ON FIRE RIGHT NOW to like really intense lows where i don’t want to do anything and all my emotions have been like sucked out of me and i’m just .. a person

- randomly has these realisation moments when i’m doing things where i’ll stop and be like “i...am a human being...who is...being alive and breathing right now??? i’m a real person??? i can do things and those things will have consequences?? what the fuck. what the Fuck. what is this..”

- lacking emotional responses? or maybe intelligence i’m not sure really. like i’m not sure if it’s just a repression thing or if i genuinely just don’t have an emotional response to certain things but i just?? don’t feel any different on an emotional level? idk man i’m not sure how explain this one in text

#this is basically me making a list of things that have been pointed out to me as 'weird' by people i know #to make me feel less like i'm losing my mind in my own head #anyways #mental health #mental illness #depression #anxiety #anxiety disorder #lgbt #diagnosed #tmj #bnha #marvel #therapy #pls i need it #vent post #i suppose

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michaelmyersthestabbyboi · 3 years

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Thank you @mcrmadness for tagging me! :D

rules: answer the questions and tag some blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name/Nickname: Metal

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Libra

Height: 5′4

Time: 1:05pm

Favorite Bands: The Clash, The Offspring, Bad Religion, Slipknot, Havana 3am, Dead Kennedys, Fugazi, Rancid, The Koffin Kats, System of A Down, Misfits, Ice Nine Kills, Me first and the gimmie gimmies (look them up), The Vandals, R.E.M., The Spaceshits (i could list more but ill stop here)

Solo Artists: Joe Strummer, Richard Hell, Tom Waits, (theres not many solo artists i listen to and out of those three i listen to Joe Strummer the most)

Song Stuck in My Head: Leaving On a Jet Plane by Me First and The Gimmie Gimmies (i really like they’re cover of it and it reminds me of Ash (hes one of my fave characters))

Last Movie: Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat. I watched it purely bc Bruce Campbell’s in it and I didn’t care for it too much myself.

Last Show: Jack of All Trades (thats where Jack Stiles, my other fave is from). Sadly I only have two episodes left :(

When Did I Create This Blog: November 2020

What Do I Post: Idk. A lot of Bruce Campbell stuff. and some Clash stuff too. Also been reblogging a lot of Jack of All trades stuff recently

Other Blogs: My slasher/horror blog that mainly consists of Ash Williams and Evil Dead: @slashybois My TYO blog: @verymetalduuude and i have another blog from a past hyperfixation that i never post on so im not gonna put it here

Do I get Asks: Sometimes. Mainly just for ask games and chain things (on my horror blog i get them sometimes for requests tho)

My ao3 Following: i dont have an ao3

Followers: *goes and checks how many bc i have no idea* This blog has 32, my horror blog has 176, And my TYO blog has 29

Hours of Sleep: I think i get an average of 5. if i get to sleep in i get about 8

Lucky Number: dont have one

Instruments: Guitar and Bass Guitar

What Am I Wearing: A tshirt i use for sleep, pajama pants, and socks

Dream Job: Maybe the bass guitarist for a band? But I also like the idea of making movies. Making the practical effects specifically. I just like how they look sooo much better than cgi. I also have been paying attention to how things are filmed lately (I blame Sam Raimi) like film angles, camera focus, how the angle affects what you think of the scene, ect.

Dream Trip: Ireland. Thats where most of my family came from and i just wanna check it out. it looks neat.

Food: idk, foods not really my thing. I like burgers ig

Nationality: Im in America if thats what this is asking. Like i said before most of my familys background is Irish

Favorite Song: I’ve been listening to Leaving on A Jet Plane by ME First and The GImmie Gimmies a lot lately.

Last Book Read: I had to read Animal Farm for school

Top Three Fictional Universes I’d like to Live In: Evil Dead universe (i wouldnt do too well but that where Ash is), Jack of All Trades (bc thats where Jack is and i think it would be fun), and idk what else. My head keeps going back to Burn Notice but i would be terrible in that show, so probably The x-files.

I’ll Tag @herbert-east(Happy b-day Audrey!) @evilash @jinxthequeergirl @capital-radio-three @tampabays @clown-shoes-2 @ajokeformur-ray

Thanks for tagging me Madness!:D

#thanks for tagging me! :D

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thedragonslibrary · 4 years

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Is it possible to be blocked like magick or energy wise? I do not know how to put it in words but sometimes I feel like there is something that i should connect to or should be able to do but I am not. Maybe I am not idk well practiced enough but it sometimes feels like I am running against a glass wall. Maybe I Idk man. I am just really frustrated. I cant really give examples just everytime I do something magick related it feels like running against a wall and it makes me wanna cry. Sorry

Yes, of course it’s possible to be blocked!

To clarify, your first statement about feeling as though you should be able to “connect” to something is a common beginner issue. It may simply be that you haven’t found the thing you’re supposed to connect to yet - whether that’s opening your third eye and being able to talk to your guides, finding the deity and/or pantheon you connect most to in a religious manner, or simply opening your psychic awareness fully enough to feel the energies around you. The best advice I can give is to experiment. Try everything, and don’t hold yourself back!

When I was a beginner witch, I tried everything from Wicca to demonolatry to Christian witchery, from reiki to hexing and cursing, from psychopomp work and shadow work and light work and everything you can imagine. If you can think of it, I probably tried it in some way. Only by putting yourself out there in as many avenues and paths as you possibly can, will you find what works for you. If something doesn’t work, doesn’t fit or “feel right,” put it away and move on. Read everything you can - on Tumblr, in books, in every single resource you can find. It took me probably five or six years of exploration to figure out what generally “worked” for me, and I still feel like I’m learning and discovering new outlets for my magical expression.

An extra “something” is not for everyone. Often in magical practices, you are the source of your own power. Sure, crystals and herbs and grounding and gods help, but ultimately the magic is coming from you. You might not necessarily need an extra “thing.” Let your magic be intuitive, don’t let books or Tumblr bloggers tell you how to do your thing step-by-step. Take spells or rituals and modify them to fit your needs - that is how they’ll be most powerful and useful for you.

But back to the topic of blockages, if you have already had magical abilities previously: I have gone through blockages myself, and they are exactly what you described here: frustrating, like hitting a wall. Sometimes it feels as though all your “power” has been taken away, and you’re left without your previous magical agency. You might have the thought that perhaps you were just making everything up all along, that maybe you’ve been deluding yourself. Trust me, you didn’t, and things will get better!

In my experience, there are two general types of blocks you can have. I’ll outline them for you and how they can be worked through.

The first is a bit simpler, and is more like an art block. Lots of magic-users go through periods of this softer, mental blockage at some point or another on their path. It can be sometimes referred to as a Fallow Period, which comes from a similar phrase in farming used to refer to when a partition of soil is meant to rest for a season or two to regain its fertility.

A Fallow Period can arise from burnout, especially from outside sources creating stress in your life.

Magic, especially psychic and spirit work, is infinitely more difficult when you are stressed, going through a rough mental health period, or when you are physically ill.

Fallow Periods can also be caused through divine intervention - your spirit guides or deities may have decided that you need to take a break to focus on real life, or to focus on taking care of yourself for a little while.

Blockages of this nature eventually right themselves, but it can take time - it can last anywhere from a few months to over a year.

The best thing to do when you’re experiencing a fallow period like this is to not force it. You are only going to frustrate yourself if you continue to attempt to perform magically and have little to no results. Additionally, you’re going to create a deadly cycle of feeling disappointed in yourself, and eventually burn out so hard you won’t want to do magic at all anymore.

Instead, take some time to create: write poetry, draw, or paint. Write devotional poetry. If you want to do magical work, work on your grimoire or book of shadows. Focus on practical magic you can do with your hands - cooking, creating items with intent, cleansing and clearing your home.

Take time to meditate and perform self-care. Perform practical, easy meditations like the simple, free ones in the Headspace app, or find guided meditations for free on YouTube that bring you into fun, brightly colored astral spaces. Take baths and imagine all of your troubles washing away down the drain when you’re finished. Give yourself room to heal and just feel good about yourself.

When you feel ready to move out of your Fallow Period, it will come very naturally. Like an urge to pick up a witchcraft book or to astral travel suddenly. Don’t worry about easing back into it - while taking it slow might be good for some, it’s not for everyone. If you’re really excited to get back into magic, and you’re being urged to do it right now, go ahead and do it!

The other type of blockage is a physical, energetic blockage. These are usually sudden-onset conditions. If one day you are performing just fine magically, and the next you wake up and you can’t feel any of your sixth senses, and you are not physically sick or particularly more stressed out than normal, you probably have a physical energetic blockage.

Ensure first that it’s an energetic blockage. Perform a reading on yourself, check your energy centers, figure out how you’re feeling physically. Meditation goes a long way here, as well as visualizing your energy moving through your body. Does it seem to stop anywhere? Likewise, do you feel extremely hopeless and drained energetically for no discernible, tangible reason (i.e. depression or a recent traumatic experience)? Can you not even muster up the motivation to check yourself? Then you probably have an energetic blockage.

Find an energy healer in physical proximity to you. Trust me when I say that it is not enough to go to the local Hand & Stone and ask for a reiki massage (I have tried this for you already, and please believe me when I say it’s not going to solve your problems). Distance healings do work and are worth it, but in my personal experience physical healings tend to be much more powerful when it comes to dismantling blockages in this way.

Ask around at your local metaphysical stores. Find someone who is a reiki master or another type of energy healer, who has great reviews outside of what’s posted on their website and who has a great deal of experience. Ask them if they have unedited testimonials anywhere they can share with you (such as Google reviews).

Ask what their process is, ask to see their healing space, ask them what physical tools they use in their session. Ask them if they’d be willing to charge a small fee for them to examine you and figure out what’s going on (don’t expect them to do something like that for free). Remember that they should never suggest that they can heal physical ailments or claim that their services replace allopathic medicine - they should only focus on your energetic issues.

Explain to them that you feel blocked energetically and that this is exactly what you are looking to be treated for - psychics and healers are not mind readers, and they cannot help you if they’re not told what they need to fix.

Pay attention to your gut and what feels right. Even in a blocked state, you always have decent access to your intuition.

I won’t lie, you will likely need to shell out a good amount of money for this. A good healer worth their salt most likely won’t charge you less than $60 for an hour session.

If you don’t feel some kind of energetic release during your healing session, mention that to your healer. Since you’ve already told them about your issue, they may be able to give advice as to why you didn’t feel any specific change, as everyone’s process is different and the healer you’ve chosen to work with is going to have the best understanding over the situation, after you. Again, pay attention to your gut. Give the healing a couple of days to set in, and make sure to drink plenty of water and pay attention to how you feel.

When I personally dealt with my own physical energy blockage, when it was finally healed it felt like a dam breaking and all of my energy flowing back into my body. It felt like I had had one of my senses shut off, and for the switch to finally be turned back on. Not everyone is going to feel this way, but if you’ve been blocked for a particularly long time, it may feel very strong and overwhelming to have yourself be un-blocked.

Whatever your situation is, I hope this post was helpful! Good luck on finding your solution!

#witchcraft #energy work #fallow period #spirit work #blockages #energy blockages #energy blocks #healing #energy healing #energy healer #talymaly

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katnissgirlsmakedo · 3 years

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wait i meant to ask u this a while ago but plz elaborate on ur el hopper/ill give you the sun au i need to know

for everyone that wasn’t there 💜

sorry this is long as fuck (I.... have so many thoughts in this head) so it’s under the cut (and obviously if you’re concerned about like, spoilers for this book maybe don’t read this... idk if anyone’s planning on reading it or whatever but yeah)

also I know that probably a lot of people have not read I’ll give you the sun so here’s a quick rundown if y’all care: the protagonists are noah and jude, they’re twins and they each narrate half the book, the story revolves around their mother and her death (it’s really all about coming of age in the midst of tragedy- which is just very stranger things to me), and they each have their own story and relationships with other people that ultimately lead them back to each other (because it’s about family and found family and fate and how sometimes people are just meant to be in each other’s lives). if you can’t tell from the way I’m talking about it, this is one of my favorite books <3

ok so basically, el is jude and will is noah (duh), and they’re pretty much the focus of the whole thing- I never quite worked out how most of the other st characters fit in. I’d assume mike would be brian, but because I literally refer to this as being like, an el specific thing, and el is jude, you’ve probably gathered that I’m not too focused on noah’s section of the book (where brian is) lol. anyways, their parents can go two ways: either terry ives is their mother who dies (mourning her is what jude’s storyline is all about so this makes sense), or joyce is (this also makes sense if you’re more focused on her relationship with will). and hopper is their dad in both versions! I prefer terry being their mom but sometimes I think about it as joyce because I’m indecisive.

which brings me to the other characters in jude’s story: guillermo and oscar. since guillermo is like a parental figure to jude, i think that would be joyce (also obsessed with how this implies that joyce and terry were having an affair jacjwjskmsjej). and because oscar is you know, oscar, I cannot imagine anyone but steve in that role. I know what you’re thinking, “isn’t oscar jude’s love interest?” well let me tell you the great news! it’s my au and I get to make the rules 💜 and in my version, steve is oscar and does all the things oscar does with noah, and eventually falls in with guillermo (joyce), but it splits after that. in my version, she already has a son (jonathan duh), and because I’m a Stonathan Stan™, they’re dating <3 and steve’s younger sister (max) also lives with them. so max takes over the love interest parts of oscar’s character

so it’s like this: el’s mother, terry, dies and she’s left with her father, hopper, and her twin brother, will, she gets into art school and eventually that leads her to the renowned yet eccentric sculptor joyce byers, and her family (her son jonathan, his boyfriend steve, and steve’s sister max). shenanigans ensue, el falls in love with max, she fixes her family after her mother’s death, and she learns how to become herself and live her life instead of letting her grief define her 💜💜

another little detail I love about el as jude is jude’s relationship with fashion, like just how she was obsessed with making the dresses that she never wore, and eleven in st3 starts using her clothes as a form of self expression and that’s an important part of her finding herself as an individual, and I think that connection is really cool

also a few weeks ago when I was really obsessed with this dumb little au, I made a few edits of el and will with random quotes from this book (idk if anyone remembers the shit I post but I did post one of the party with the “we were all headed for each other on a collision course no matter what” quote) and they’ve just been chilling in my drafts because I didn’t think anyone would like, get it if I posted them? anyway I might now, we’ll see

but fr imagine el doing all the weird shit jude does in that book.... like, talking to ghosts (in public) that only exist to her, calling google “the oracle” and stalking her brothers ex online, just carrying an onion around in her pocket for luck.... iconic truly iconic

anyway I’ll leave you with this dumb little meme I made for myself <3

#i have. SO MUCH shit to say... feel free to ignore.. this whole post is like 45% embarassing and i don't need to be percieved <3 #asks #anonymous #igyts #el hopper

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