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ladylokilaufeyson5 · 1 year

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Beyond Rumours

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Chapter Twenty-One

Summary: Y/n is a Malfoy. A Pureblood. A pretentious, blood-status-loving Slytherin. At least, those are the rumours, but since when has Remus Lupin ever really cared about rumours?

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: heyy. how y'all doing... sorry i left this so long lol. as u probably know i'm currently writing some things for my 1k celebration but i've nearly finished that so hopefully i'll be able to write more of this :))

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REMUS LUPIN

Saturday, 24th of December 1977

The fire crackled beside us as my group of six friends sat in the common room. It was well past eleven now – everyone else had gone to bed, but the rest of us just had so much to do and talk about, apparently.

The Yule Ball was a popular topic. None of the girls would tell us what they were wearing, which seemed to infuriate Sirius – he'd always been a lover of fashion. Whenever it was mentioned I'd always sneak a glance at Y/n – just to see her already looking at me. Maybe they were right. Maybe she did like me – maybe I could ask her...

No.

She wouldn't.

James and Lily sat together on the couch – and I mean together. At the beginning, Lily had just draped her legs across his, but now she was fully sat in his lap, arms circled around his neck and hands playing in his curls. His hands were around her waist respectfully. His hands never ventured lower, and he'd even asked her permission for it. He thought he'd been discreet, but I could hear everything – one of the few pros (or one of the many cons, depending on how you looked at it) of being a werewolf.

"We should probably be getting to bed soon," Lily yawned.

"C'mon, it's not like we're gonna miss Santa Claus," James grinned. "He's not real."

Sirius gasped, placing his hands over Peter's ears. "Shh! Don't spoil Pete's dreams!"

Peter batted his hands away with a scowl, causing the rest of us to laugh.

"Hey, what if we have a sleepover?" James suggested. "Y'know, all of us?"

Sirius sat upright and stared at James with adoration in his eyes. "James Fleamont Potter," he gushed, "That is completely and utterly the best idea you've ever come up with!"

"A sleepover is his best idea ever?" Y/n scoffed. "And here I was, thinking James may have had a bright future ahead of him."

James scowled and everyone laughed.

"A sleepover sounds fun," Lily said.

"Well, since us fellas can't get into the ladies' dorms, it seems you will be joining us," Sirius said, winking at Lily, and causing James's arms to tighten slightly.

Lily and Y/n got up to get changed into their pyjamas and get ready for bed, and the rest of us walked to the boys' dorms. Regulus disappeared into the bathroom, and James cast a silencing charm before turning on me.

"Have you asked her out yet?" he pressed.

"Who?"

"Y/n, you idiot!" Sirius cut in.

I felt myself blush a deep red, and I looked away, rubbing the back of my neck. "Er... no."

"Why not?" Sirius demanded.

"I don't think she likes me," I mumbled.

Sirius looked at me like I had said the stupidest thing ever, and it made me want to hit him. "C'mon, you asked her to the ball, and she said yes! That's gotta mean something!"

"Maybe she just didn't want to hurt my feelings," I protested. Even though my thoughts travelled back to how she'd reacted – how she'd seemed glad, excited, even. But maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Sirius scoffed and James rolled his eyes.

"All in favour that Y/n likes Remus back and he should ask her out?" Peter suggested, raising his hand.

I glared at my friends as their hands all rose in the air, and they all voiced their agreements.

"Wait, you like Y/n?" All of our heads whipped to the bathroom door, where Regulus stood, a massive grin on his face. "I gotta tell her."

I felt my stomach drop, and I was surprised it hadn't fallen out of my body and hit the floor.

"You aren't telling anyone anything," Sirius barked. "Can anyone perform a memory charm?"

"Hey! You stay away from my memories!" Regulus hissed, covering his head as if it would shield him from the magic.

James stepped towards Regulus, "You understand why Moony would want to keep this quiet, right?"

Regulus just looked at James, assessing him, and I felt my heart drop. Regulus would tell Y/n, and she would be weirded out and never speak to me again. I could already see it happening, see everything playing out in my head... until Regulus sighed.

"Fine," he muttered, "my lips are sealed."

It was silent for a moment, before Peter piped up, "Regulus would know if Y/n likes Remus too."

I saw a look of shock on Regulus's face before he quickly schooled his features into neutrality and shrugged. "I don't think I'm allowed to tell you that."

"Reg–" Sirius started, but Peter cut across.

"It's a yes!" he yelled.

Everyone turned to him, expressions of confusion clear on our faces.

"I dunno how you came to that conclusion, mate," James said.

"Well, if she didn't like Remus, Regulus would just tell us, wouldn't he?" Peter explained. "Y'know, so you don't get your hopes up. And if he's not allowed to tell us, it's obviously a secret, which means it's obviously a yes."

Everyone looked to Regulus, who muttered, "fuck."

"HA!" Sirius yelled, pointing at me. "Told you so!"

"Shut up," I grumbled, flopping down onto my bed.

Sirius whooped and jumped up on his bed, throwing his head back and singing, "Moony's in love! Our Moony's in love!"

"Shut up!"

"Never!"

"I will hang you from the Astronomy Tower," I threatened.

"That doesn't sound very Prefect-like of you."

I turned at the sound of Y/n's voice to see her grinning, standing beside Lily in the doorway. I quickly looked at the others, unsure as to how long they'd been there.

"How much of that did you catch?" I asked nervously.

Y/n cocked her head. "Er... just your violent threat. Also you telling Sirius to shut up, which, I'm sure, was for a valid reason."

Sirius gasped in outrage and lunged for Y/n, but she sidestepped, smiling as she did so. That little grin was enough to make me smile too, but it dropped as soon as I saw my friends giving me suggestive smirks.

Lily and Y/n conjured mattresses for themselves and made their beds, before they both sat cross-legged beside each other.

We'd never had a sleepover before – at least, not with the girls. I expected them to beg us to do our hair or make up, but that never happened. The closest thing to that was Y/n yanking on Regulus's hair because he was annoying her.

It took a while for everyone to fall asleep. We were all so excited and eager for Christmas and the ball that we were wide awake. But no one stayed up forever. Peter was the first to fall asleep. I could hear him snoring away, so I cast a sound-silencing charm over his bed so we wouldn't wake him up. Lily was next, in James's arms. And then James himself, and Sirius and Regulus, until it was just me and Y/n left.

The moon shone into the dorm – it had been full a week ago, and it still glowed brightly, the stars glinting beside it. Y/n studied it carefully and then looked over at me. I felt myself blush when I realised I'd been caught staring, but the girl just smiled at me.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

Y/n looked at me for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. James let out a snort in his sleep, which caused Y/n to jump. I had to stifle a laugh, and she narrowed her eyes at me, and I hesitated for a moment before gesturing to her to come over. She looked at the bed beside her and slowly got up, tiptoeing across the room and to my bed. I cast a silencing charm and she raised an eyebrow, to which I shook my head furiously, embarrassment and mortification filling my body.

"That's not – I didn't cast the charm because – because I wanted–"

Y/n laughed. "I was just teasing."

Relief washed through me, and I was able to smile alongside her. It was silent, before–

"The – the stars," she whispered. "I was thinking about the stars. That one is Regulus."

She pointed to a star in the sky, but I couldn't make out which one it was.

"I – I look at it, sometimes, when I'm at – at that place. When I'm surrounded by them." It took me a moment to realise she was talking about Malfoy Manor, and her family members. "It – it feels like he's there with me, sometimes. Comforting me."

"You love him," I stated.

Y/n smiled slightly. "Tell him and I'll have to kill you."

I smiled back at her, feeling her words resonate slightly.

"I know what you mean," I confessed, looking at the sleeping figures of my friends. "I – without them, I... I wouldn't..."

I wouldn't be who I am. I would be shrouded in misery and self-hatred. My friends were everything to me. They were worth more than anything in the world. More than money, more than fame, and (although I'd never admit it to them) more than books and chocolate. They were my rock in a stormy sea, the thing that kept me afloat.

Y/n nodded softly in understanding. "I know," she murmured.

She was no longer smiling, but there was empathy in her features. Did she feel the same way about Regulus? Was he her rock? Her eyes bored into mine, and I was suddenly reminded of the saying, the eyes are the window to the soul. If she looked hard enough, would she see through? See inside, see what a monster I was?

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

I couldn't tell her – not this, never this. I wanted to believe that she'd be understanding, that she'd be like James and Sirius and Peter and Lily – that she wouldn't care. But I couldn't take that risk.

"The Ball," I lied.

If she knew that I hadn't told the truth, she made no mention of it. In fact, she even smiled, looking down shyly and batting her eyelashes a bit.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I said. "I, um... I think it'll be good. Y'know, if I don't trample your feet."

Y/n chuckled and looked up at me, her smile brightening the room, washing out the glow of the moon. "You'll be fine, Remus. I believe in you."

And the way she said my name – fuck. I was falling hard, and I could tell there was no stopping. I was freefalling without a parachute, without anything to stop or catch me. This wasn't going away, the feelings weren't going away. I should stop it now, I should just let her go, but...

But you're scared. You want her.

I did want her. So badly. I wanted to be with her, to kiss her, to hold her hand and hold her and be the one she called hers.

"We should probably get some rest, huh?" she suggested, looking back at her own makeshift bed. "Y'know, so we don't miss Santa?"

I grinned at her, and she slid off my bed and into her own.

You'll be fine, Remus. I believe in you.

Fuck. It was really going to hurt when I hit the ground.

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poetryinsilence · 2 years

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Let Us Go Then You And I

Robert 'Bob' Floyd x Fem!Reader

A/n: Short fluffy drabble with my soft boy, Bob. The fic is truly inspired by this song and I looped it until I finish writing this so my brain is kinda mush right now. I kinda had an callsign idea for reader but idk maybe I’ll use it in the future ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Reader is a bit dense and Bob is just a sweetheart💕

Wc: 1.3k

“C’mon, Bob! It’s gonna be fine.” You giggle in a hushed tone, tiptoeing through back alleys in the middle of the night.

“I don’t know, y/n…are you sure about this? What if we get caught? They won’t take this lightly…”

“It’s going to be okay, Bob. I promise. Plus, nobody ever checks this section of the field anyway.”

You look back to see Bob, queasy with his thumbs twirling to keep himself steady with his nerves. His eyes dart left and right, keeping a visual on his surroundings in case you get in trouble, or just his muscle memory activating in any sense of danger.

Through a short trek past warehouses and the airfield, you caught sight of your newly found secret spot. Both hidden and forgotten by most navy personnel.

You twist the knob to a fenced door, decorated with warning signs in bold, white letters and red backgrounds ‘KEEP OUT’. In short, that's an invitation to ‘come in’.

The knob turns free, unrestricted. You smile gleefully and swing the door wide open.

“After you.” You gestured, politely.

Bob’s mouth presses until they form into a squiggly line, looking like a lost puppy far away from home. Feet still planted on the spot.

You rolled your eyes and tugged him along your steps.

“Come along, big guy.”

He doesn’t register the dark, at first, only seeing slithers of outlines. This place is fully decked out with misplaced signs, stashes of decade-old equipment and a rusted hull that has seen long passes of days and nights. If the academy ever decided to make a haunted attraction, this would be the place.

You rustled to shadows, hands finding their way through the worn-out walls.

“I think I got it, hold on… And…jackpot!”

The place lit aglow which made Bob jump a few steps back. Much to his surprise, he did not expect to find a swimming pool in an airfield, let alone in the middle of nowhere.

The backlight from the pool illuminated the space

“How did you find this place? It’s amazing! But…how come no one else knows about this?”

“Well, I’m not a stealth pilot for nothing. This used to be one of the old training spots used for extensive underwater manoeuvres when pilots get ejected into a body of water. Now, it’s a free-for-all!” You grinned, blithely.

Bob’s quizzical face formed unnaturally from observing your bemused expression, eyebrows quirked in two arches. He did not like that smile. He did not like what followed after that smile. He learnt the meaning behind that smile fairly quickly, from the times that you and he had to be called to your superior’s office due to your recalcitrant shenanigans. Even back in Lemoore.

Before he could argue the pros and cons in his head, you were already halfway through taking off your jumpsuits, revealing a black tank top and matching panties. A heat of red imploded his face as he scrambles to put his focus on something other than your revealing skin.

You giggled at his solution to avert his gaze with one hand over his glasses, like a child trying to play hide and seek. You slap his hand away and he let out a small yelp, eyes drew wide to the size of the moon.

“Live and let live, Bobby!” You took a step back with arms open wide.

“Wait, wait, y/n!”

The Earth’s gravity took you in its embrace, plunging you deep into the aquatic territory. The chill engulfs the christening silence, muffling in a feigned planet. The water wallows in low cries but alone without being lonely. You break out of the surface, gasping for life.

“Jesus, y/n! Are you outta your mind?!” He hissed, clutching your clothes tightly in his chest.

“C’mon! The water’s…kinda crisp, but it’s perfectly fine. You’ll love it!”

Bob vehemently shook his head. “I-I-I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

You float aimlessly on the edge, between two states, neither here nor there. Staring above into the landscapes of the night, stars burn like fiery ashes. Appearing more and more at the corners of your eyes. It was a good night to be by the pool; the August fever sinks its teeth into the lamented cold that they can't have.

Body slips into the cyan glow once more, sinking deeper as the starry night in your field unsteadies and coils with every stroke, its colours share with the next, shades of beauty with entropy.

"Y/n...? Hey, y/n? This isn't funny anymore..."

You felt serene in these waters; freed with a fleeting comfort. Unlike the sky, where your awareness lies with the sound of growling engines. Here, you feel nothing, yet it still swallows you whole. Your eye wilt close to the prosaic notion, the water mutters in a deep note, accompanied by the soft thump echoing inside your head. It’s the closest you could feel peace in the palm of your hand.

Two firm grasp finds a hold of your face and desperation in his touch, lips trembling and latching onto yours in faints of hope. You ease into his pressure, letting him into your lungs with the sole heat of sharing a kiss. Granted, it felt a bit different from what you saw in the movies. But the intention with Bob is real, that spark from what they describe speaks truth. That the whole world would collide for you with just a single touch.

The surface of the water breaks open as you both emerge panting for air and sputtering out

“OH GOD, TALK TO ME! PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE OKAY-“

"Well, I was until you—"

"I THOUGHT YOU-YOU LOST CONSCIOUSNESS AND DROWNED! YOU DIDN'T MOVE FOR TWO WHOLE MINUTES AND I PANICKED AND I-I— What was I suppose to tell your family...?"

In his clear blue, still shaken in the rippling tides. You softly shake your head.

"Bob, I don't understand... Why do you always tolerate me, or anything that I do? You could've just simply walked away instead of taking a beating from Cyclone for things that weren’t your fault!"

A huff of defeat escapes.

"Why?"

The moonlit motion reflects his anxiousness, taking a moment to recall the memories that you've been through together. Every instance he had gone through— the good, the bad, the ugly— he doesn't want you to be there alone. Something just doesn't sit right with him seeing you in a straight posture and getting words thrown at your face. That maybe one of those times, he won't ever see you again. It wasn't chivalry; he just felt you shouldn't take this on your own.

"I just don't wanna see you do this alone. I-I don't wanna lose you. I d-don't..." His voice trails off.

His words resonated with an ache within you. How long have you put your trust in him? The certainty that is incorporated into your every decision-making involves him. And without you noticing, your arms envelop themselves around his neck, captivating your lips onto his in the surrounding blue. Bubbles trickle out in the shape of you and him, caressing skins by inch and hair dancing in free flow.

The beauty of the kiss made your head spin, and the weight of it all could stop time, frozen in the shape of water with him in your arms. He returns with a touch to the crook of your neck and a tight grip around your waist, marvelling at this new buzzing feeling running through his brain. Eager, reassured thoughts that he'd never imagined a kiss would do to him, every part of you entangles with him. Your eyes flutter open with glistening eyes, taking him back ashore to the midsummer air. Bob pushed his glasses with a sheepish smile, and you do the same.

"Let's go home."

"Yeah."

#robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x y/n #robert bob floyd #robert floyd #robert bob floyd fanfiction #robert bob floyd fic #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun maverick fic #top gun fic #top gun blurb #fanfiction #⭐️.doc #bob smiling…like music to my ears

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rkived · 3 years

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━ CHASING PAVEMENTS 04 │ JJK

↳ PAIRING: dad!jk/married!jk/bff!jk x reader

↳ GENRE/TAGS: f2l, angst, unrequited feelings, cheating, future smut

↳ WARNINGS: (for this chapter) angst as per usual what’s new, jk is sad, reader is sad, sunhi is sad, everyone’s just SAD

↳ RATING: (for this chapter) PG

↳ WORD COUNT: 4k

↳ SYNOPSIS: Jungkook’s been feeling a little weird lately. Maybe it’s got something to do with his crumbling marriage and the way you seem to care for his daughter more than his own wife.

↳ A/N: ehem let’s pretend like i didn’t ghost this story for like half a year aha i’ve written more than this for cp but i decided to just divide it and leave the juicy stuff for the last chapter !! sorry for making u wait so long </3 anyway hope u enjoy still n i’ll see u in a couple months for the final chapter of cp!! (i’m jking…..or am i?)

01 02 03 04 05 (coming soon)

Minji thinks you’re starting to get better.

Well, she hopes you are because it’s been two months since you broke the news on her and anyone would think that’d it be long forgotten by now. She tries to stop as often as she can to check up on you, even though you assure her that you’re fine and that a simple text would suffice instead of having her come over every day in between.

Which is why she’s unsure if giving you the invitation Jungkook had handed her about two weeks ago was a good idea, considering that it’s been a few days since you had last even mentioned him to her like you usually did before. In fact, today you look like you’re at peace for the very first time.

‘‘I did yoga!’’ You explain when she mentions that you look different, ‘‘I still can’t face going back to Namjoon’s class, but I remember a ton of positions he taught us!’’

Minji has to force herself to smile, her hand lingers inside the purse she’s carrying as her fingers fiddle with the cardstock paper waiting patiently to be handed.

‘‘And then I stopped for some yogurt at the place down the─’’

‘‘I need to give this to you,’’ Minji stops your ramble and you’re taken aback by how urgent her voice sounds, very unlike her. ‘‘I promised I’d get this to you, so…’’

You’re about to ask her what she’s on about when she abruptly hands what you could make out to be a colorful piece of paper. Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight, completely confused until it suddenly hit you what it is that your friend’s talking about.

‘‘How did you─?’’

Minji gives you half a smile and shakes her hand so you can take the card instead of just staring at it, ‘‘Just─take it.’’

Your hand reaches out to grab it from her and your eyes quickly focus on the unicorn and sparkles themed birthday invite. It reads that it’s Sunhi’s birthday and that you are invited! You recognize the handwriting that filled the party’s information details, you always thought he had really nice penmanship.

‘‘I think you should go,’’ Minji’s voice sounds like she’s faraway, but she’s just a few feet away from you, ‘‘for Sunhi.’’

You’re still staring at the invitation, memorizing every single detail. There’s so many unicorns, when did she start liking the mythical creature? She had never mentioned a liking towards them to you ever. You assume it must’ve happened during these few months of your absence.

How many moments have you missed? How many unanswered questions must Sunhi have by now? How many new toys has she had to wait to show you? How many kindergarten stories has she been saving to tell you?

You’ve been counting. Sixty days have passed since you last saw Sunhi. It’s been seven Fridays since you last had her in your arms.

Sixty days and seven Fridays since you kissed Jungkook. Fifty-nine days since you blocked him.

Minji is still waiting for any sort of reaction from you. You’re stoically analyzing the piece of paper and she wonders what is it that you’re thinking or feeling. Is it good, bad or all in one? Whatever it is, her small deed is done.

‘‘Y/N?’’ She calls out, you slowly nod and take your eyes from the invitation from the first time since she gave it to you. ‘‘Do you mind if I go? I have some stuff to─’’

A small gasp escapes your lips, ‘‘Yes Minji, of course!’’ Your friend smiles slightly and you proceed to escort her out your apartment. She actually doesn’t have anything to do, but she thinks it’s best if you get some space to take everything in.

Minji notices how you’re still holding on to the birthday invite and she has to suppress a chuckle because she knows you’re most likely doing this absentmindedly.

Before you’re able to thank her for coming, she stops you to say one last thing. ‘‘If you don’t want to go, then don’t,’’ she begins and your eyebrows raise at your friend’s comment. ‘‘Whatever it is that you decide on doing, I’ll support you either way,’’ Minji offers you a genuine smile and you can’t help but hug her tightly.

You’re alone again. Loneliness has come in waves as of lately. You’ve lived alone for years now, you’re used to being the only person present in your apartment ─ but that fact hasn’t felt more obvious than since you shunned Jungkook out.

Good days eventually turn sour. The times where it seems like you can go on about your life without thinking about him and what he might be up to quickly change because your mind makes you feel bad about feeling good.

Why did you cut him off knowing his daughter idolizes you like no other? Why did you selfishly decide to block him when you could’ve just talked it out? Why didn’t you stop him that night if you knew things would change between you two? Why did you let him kiss you knowing it was going to hurt in the end?

You know Sunhi’s fourth birthday is coming up. It’s one of those dates you can’t simply forget, it comes naturally to you. You had settled with the idea that you weren’t going to be invited this time around, it would’ve been okay since you think it’s what you deserve anyway. If Jungkook had taken you off the guest list, he was in his total right to do so.

You want to be mad at him right now.

Why would he invite you? Why couldn’t he just leave things the way they were? You wish you were angry, but you’re not. You feel slightly comforted with the fact that he had decided to include you even with everything that went down. In fact, not inviting you would’ve been selfish knowing that Sunhi must want you there.

And if the invitation wasn’t enough of a sign that you should go, two days ago you got an email that the gift you had preordered for Sunhi some time ago was on its way to your place. Just in time for her birthday party.

That’s life for you.

You’re quick to remind yourself of Minji’s last words to you. You’re not obligated to go and if you don’t want to, then you don’t have to. But you’d be lying if you said that because you really want to go, but there’s still some things that are holding you back. Your brain starts breaking down the pros and cons of going.

The pros: You’d get to see Sunhi again, who you missed terribly and a tiny part of you was wishing that she didn’t hate you for suddenly leaving. It’s too much to ask for, but you do hope that Jungkook had come up with something instead of telling her upfront that you had left.

The cons: You’d have to see Jungkook. Having to face the awkwardness of knowing you had blocked his number, prohibiting him from contacting you and discussing what happened like adults would do.

Oh, and you’d see Jiwoo too and pretend like you didn’t have any romantic feelings for her husband.

Whatever decision it is, you’d only have two days to decide.

Jungkook smiled warmly as he looked at Sunhi twirling in her green and purple dress in front of the long length mirror in his bedroom. Ever since he got the garment in the mail, he had to hide it from her curious hands because if it were up to her she’d be wearing it day and night.

‘‘Daddy, I look so cute!’’ Sunhi said with an excited tone, hopping in her place. The tull of her skirt followed her movements, making the glittery details sparkle brightly caused by the natural sunlight slipping through the curtain cracks.

He chuckled, ‘‘You do, Pumpkin, but you need to settle down.’’ Jungkook placed his hands on her tiny shoulders, making his daughter’s bouncing cease. ‘‘You gotta be fully energized for the party, alright?’’ She nodded quickly, but he could still feel the excitement radiate from her.

‘‘Gramma will do my braid, daddy.’’ Sunhi let him know once she noticed her father take a brush in his hand. The little girl much rather have her hair tangled in knots than having him attempt to do any sort of hairstyles on her.

Jungkook pouts, but nods understanding. He’s thankful that his parents had made the trip from Busan this year. He knows his mother knew he would have a hard time setting everything up by himself this time around. His parents would normally miss Sunhi’s parties due to the distance, but he’d make it up to them by visiting the following weekend and doing a smaller gathering at their house instead.

Things feel different. One could say that this time, everything is exactly where it should be. Sunhi’s growing older, his parents are here and not far away like usual, Jiwoo’s no longer in the picture, he’s picking back up the things that used to make him happy. There’s just a missing piece that doesn’t allow him to declare the puzzle’s finished.

And his daughter hasn’t really been helpful in allowing him to forget about it either.

‘‘Daddy, is Auntie Y/N going to come?’’ She asked for what seemed the thousandth time that week alone. The younger girl only wanted to make sure you’re coming even though her father had reassured her that you might be making an appearance.

Jungkook hummed, pursing his lips together, ‘‘Well, I don’t know if Auntie Y/N will manage to catch her flight in time for your party, but hopefully she’ll come,’’ he painfully lied and Sunhi nodded with a pout, she was hoping she’d get a different answer this time around, but still settles with her father’s explanation.

Ever since you left, it had been part of her daily routine to ask about you and your whereabouts. Jungkook hated lying to his daughter, but he knew that even if he were to explain the ending of your friendship, she wouldn’t be able to understand. He had foolishly hoped that after telling her, repeatedly, that you had been out of the country because of your job, Sunhi would get the clue that you showing up at her birthday party was very unlikely.

He can’t blame her because he’s also been hoping that you’ll show up for whatever reason. Jungkook’s aware that Minji had made no promises of you attending, but that little bit of faith he still had, clung onto you tightly.

He’s let go of so many things recently, but he refuses to add you to that painful list.

‘‘I miss Auntie Y/N,’’ Sunhi mumbled to herself, but Jungkook heard her clearly and his heart shattered at the longing in his daughter’s voice.

That’s why he’s relieved that she’s now running around the yard with her friends from the kindergarten she attends, screaming in glee as they all chase each other around the grass. The PinkFong playlist he had put together earlier that week has been a hit with the children, who danced and sang along to the lyrics; although some parents might’ve gotten tired of hearing the infantile music after a while. Jungkook himself is part of the people who much rather listen to something else, but it’s worth it if it means he catches Sunhi humming along to the tunes every once in a while.

Having to entertain the parents has taken his mind off of knowing you’re not there. The party started two hours ago and you’re never late for anything, especially his daughter’s birthday celebrations. He’s settling with the idea that you’re no longer coming while he dabbles in serving food and refilling drinks, all the while having to make conversation with the parents of the invited kids.

He can feel just how bad they feel for him, the word’s gotten around the PTA committee that he’s in the process of divorcing while taking full custody of his daughter.

‘‘Jungkook, how are you doing?’’ One of the invited moms asked him with a tactful tone, accompanied by a gentle smile that made him feel like a child for a mere moment. With a smile that could put anyone’s worries at ease, Jungkook assured her ─and the rest of the worrying mothers─ that he was doing just fine.

It’s Sunhi’s day, it’s her party, a few more hours and you can cry all about it when she’s sleeping, had become his mantra as the party goes on.

‘‘What’s with the long face?’’ His mother suddenly asks him after he finishes placing the candles on Sunhi’s unicorn themed cake.

Jungkook furrows his brows, ‘‘The unicorn’s face looks pretty alright to me,’’ he comments looking at the fondant shaped mythical creature at the top of the cake.

Mrs. Jeon rolls her eyes, shaking her head slightly at his son’s obliviousness, ‘‘I’m talking about your long face. Is everything alright?’’ She asks in genuine concern, making him sigh as he scratches the back of his neck. ‘‘It’s not because of Jiwoo, right?’’ The woman cautiously asks, afraid the mention of her son’s ex partner might be too sensitive.

The news of the divorce had surprised his parents, but they weren’t completely heartbroken about it. They had known her for years, but it had never been a close relationship at that. His mother had made a couple of comments here and there before concerning his ex partner’s behavior, but were always overlooked by Jungkook.

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise in surprise and he quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘I’m fine, mom. I’m just kinda tired.’’

For someone who hates lying, he’s been doing it a lot recently.

His mother doesn’t seem so sure about his answer, but decides not to interrogate him any further since she knows her son has been dealing with too much recently and she didn’t want to add her nagging to the list.

Eventually the party guests all sing happy birthday to Sunhi as she sits behind her cake clapping alongside them, mumbling the famous song as she waits for everyone to finish so she can blow the four candles out and make a wish. She closes her eyes with force, putting her hands together as the guests watch her silently mouth words out.

‘‘What did you wish for, Sunhi?’’ One of the kids excitedly asks her, fingers curling around her arm as he waits for her to answer.

Sunhi hmphs and turns her face away from him, ‘‘If I say it out loud it won’t come true!’’

Jungkook can only hope his daughter had asked for something he’s able to buy. The newest Barbie doll, a trip to the zoo, that pretty tutu she saw at the store. Anything that is at arm’s reach from him to give her. But Jungkook knows his daughter all too well, those things don’t really matter to her right now.

Sunhi’s wish is something he can’t obtain ─ someone that’s no longer a call away from him. His daughter doesn’t know, but he’s wished for the same thing too.

You to come back.

The small pieces of confetti on the ground, paper decorations pasted on the wall and hanging from the ceiling of the house are enough to give away that a party had happened the day before, and that someone had been too tired by the end of it to even attempt to clean up.

Even the thought of having to deal with all of the mess that his living room currently looks like is already making Jungkook regret not accepting his mother’s willingness to help after the party had ended yesterday, assuring her that she had done enough that day and that it was only fair he took care of the cleaning.

Sunhi’s birthday had gone smoothly for the most part.

And as Jungkook scrolls through his phone’s gallery, smiling warmly at the small clips he managed to capture of his gleeful daughter running around the yard with her friends and the multitude of pictures his mother took of her blowing the candles of the cake out, granted, majority of them blurry, he is reminded that, although the party had been a success, the aftermath hadn’t been as pretty.

The party was over when he started hearing the first goodbyes and thankful comments of the parents for inviting them over, wishing Sunhi a final happy birthday before they took their sleepy kids in their arms. He had hoped his daughter would be drained too, despite the amount of sugar she had a few hours before.

‘‘Auntie Y/N didn’t come.’’ Sunhi had stated, a pout on her trembling lips as she looked up at her tired father. ‘‘Why didn’t she come?’’ She asked in genuine curiosity as her eyes started glossing with tears.

Jungkook sighed, ‘‘Pumpkin, I told you she’s not in town. I’m sorry she─’’ It didn’t matter what excuse he had given her, the waterworks had begun. He hadn’t seen his daughter cry like that in a long time and for a moment, he didn’t know what to do to get her to stop.

Even if he tried to coax her with distractions, like the number of gifts she had received from the guests or telling her he’d let her have another slice of cake if she stopped crying. He knew that what his daughter wanted wasn’t toys or food. She wanted you. And as much as Jungkook wants you just as much, he’s lost on ways to make you come back.

Sunhi cried for what seemed like hours, his parents had even tried to cheer the little girl up by promising to take her to their house the very next morning for the rest of the weekend, to which she merely nodded as she fell asleep from exhaustion on her father’s chest.

He envied her as he remained awake for most of the night, tears streaming down his face as guilt ate him away for his daughter’s heartbreak.

It’s his fault after all.

Jungkook isn’t upset you didn’t show up, you didn’t have to. Not even Sunhi could make you come back. Selfishly kissing you that night had changed the course of your relationship forever and that meant that his daughter would have to pay for his wrongdoings.

With the absence of Sunhi, he’s reminded of just how big his house feels when he’s by himself. Ever since Jiwoo moved out, the only company he’s had is that of his daughter and it’s more than enough. With her dancing around the hallways and singing songs to the top of her lungs, Jungkook doesn’t feel as lonely.

He must’ve missed the knocking at the door or the ringing doorbell ─if there even was one─ because of the earphones he had on while he swept the confetti paper scattered on the hardwood floor of his home because by the time he opens his door to get a run around the neighborhood, he notices there’s a gift placed in his front doorstep.

Jungkook’s brows furrow with confusion, unsure of why it was there in the first place. He’s sure Sunhi had opened all of her gifts last night, lazily and not very excited about them after her big cry, but she had made sure to leave them all unwrapped.

The medium-sized box is wrapped with a white and pink polka-dot paper, a cute golden ribbon placed right in the middle of it. Jungkook picks it up, bringing it closer for better inspection. Maybe it was from one of the kids that couldn’t make it? Although, they could’ve just gave it to Sunhi when they saw her at school again.

His eyes widen and his heartbeat races up when he reads the sticker tag with the name of the person responsible for the gift.

‘‘To: Sunhi ♡

From: Auntie Y/N’’

His eyes scan the tag over and over again, just to make sure he’s reading the name correctly. When he manages to take his attention away from it, he looks around the street in hopes that he’d find you.

How long has this been out here? Could he have caught a glimpse of you had he been less distracted?

Although it feels wrong to open his daughter’s gift without her consent, he feels the urgent need to peek at what’s inside. His mind even tries to reason with himself, telling him it’s probably only a doll or a clothing item, like the other gifts Sunhi had received from the birthday guests yesterday.

With a click of his tongue, he forgoes doing the right thing and tells himself that he’ll just wrap the gift again before Sunhi comes back from his parent’s house.

The cute wrapping paper is thrown over his shoulder carelessly as he quickly unveils a white cardboard box, tilting his head slightly at what could possibly be inside. When he takes the top off, a soft gasp escapes his lips.

A pink and white digital camera aimed for children lies inside, there’s decorative paper placed around it and a note inside. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, taking it delicately in his hand as he reads the words written in the familiar handwriting that hasn’t changed from all those years back in college.

‘‘Happy 4th birthday, Sunhi! Since you’re growing older, I wanted to gift you something different this year around. Your daddy loves taking videos and I thought you should start doing it too, maybe he’ll pick his camera back up again haha. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to see you blow your candles out, I hope all your wishes come true! I love you and miss you so much,

-Auntie Y/N’’

Jungkook blinks back the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes. He places the note back inside the box and breathes in deeply, exhaling slowly as he stares at the gift. No one but you could come up with an idea like this. It hurts him, but he smiles slightly at your thoughtfulness.

A different feeling arises inside him as he holds the gift in his hand, looking at it like this is the sign he had been sent from above. The last thread of his string of faith. He doesn’t even think twice, placing the gift gently inside and rushing to step outside to close the door.

He’ll go on that run, just not around his neighborhood.

As he runs past rows of houses and stores, the voice inside his head tries to tell him that he should think rationally. There’s a reason why you didn’t show up yesterday and another for you dropping the gift in front of his house without a sound. You don’t want to see him and yet he’s running straight towards you even if he knows this is hopeless.

He manages to shut that voice off as he maintains his rapid pace, rushing past the rows of buildings he’s familiar with and the street names he’s memorized by now. It all feels so different when he’s not behind the wheel, he usually always has to depend on his GPS to help him reach places. Your address, though, is one he proudly knows by heart.

As Jungkook stands outside your apartment building, he stares at it with the sound of his heart drumming inside his ears. Catching his breath, he’s reminded of the many times these past few months he’s been here, with Sunhi fast asleep in her car seat at the back.

He always pictured going up, knocking at your door, and begging for forgiveness, all for you to turn him down in the end with a gut-wrenching I don’t want you in my life anymore and a door closing on his face. That’s why he always drove away, deciding that uncertainty is better than hearing you reject him.

This time, though, nervous and unsure as he usually is when he comes here, Jungkook breathes in deep and ignores the familiar knot formed inside his stomach.

He decides that uncertainty isn’t a feeling he wishes upon you.

#heartsforbts #bangtanhq #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #btsghostie #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine

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ciara-knightly · 3 years

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Loyalty (ii)

...

Summary: In which Sage is the princess’s guard for a day and ends up seeing something she wasn’t supposed to see. Set in “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Knight.”

Relationships: platonic Sage x the princess, Arc x Ciara, Sage x Buttercup if you squint

Rating: K+

Word Count: 1291

Tagging (kind of off the top of my head, let me know if you’d like to be taken off or not tagged in the future): @sunsetcurve @perhapspearl @mistyskiesrambles @willexs @neshatriumphs @zackmartin @knghtsquad @bitchmilsky @soni-dragon @cactus-con

Ahhh it’s been so long since I posted any of my writing, hopefully I haven’t lost any of you. Here’s a drabble I wrote a while back. It’s sort of in the same series as Loyalty which I wrote a long time ago (2 whole years!!!), but you don’t have to read that one to get this. But you should read that one, too, because you love me. 😉

...

Sage stiffly stood by the door, senses alert. Even though being the princess’s guard was a temporary position, she took it very seriously. She needed to be serious if she was going to be the best. And maybe, if she could prove herself right now, then no one else could ever say Ciara was better than her ever again.

“You can relax, you know,” the princess said. The princess was seated at her vanity, already in her nightgown and brushing out her hair as she got ready for bed. “If there is any danger somehow, you would realize. You don’t have to spend the whole night standing there like a scarecrow.”

Sage considered the princess’s words. Admittedly, she was right, and she let herself ease up, just the slightest bit to lean back against the door.

“Sorry,” Sage offered. “I just want to do a good job.”

The princess smiled kindly at her. “You are doing a good job. I thought I’d hate having you as a guard, but... it’s been pretty awesome.” She hesitated for a second. “Ciara probably wouldn’t be as good a guard as you.”

“No, probably not,” Sage snickered. But then, she felt a hint of regret. She and the princess had bonded so much, Sage figured she could let her in on another secret, too. “Actually, she’d probably be really good.”

The princess looked stunned. “You think she’d be a good knight?”

“Well, yeah,” Sage reluctantly admitted. “She’s a good fighter and strong and determined, and everything. I wouldn’t mind having her on my team. But she’s not, so she’s my rival. At the end of the day, though, she cares about Astoria, too, and I’d trust her to have my back.”

She looked up at the princess, who seemed frozen in her seat. The princess gently put her hairbrush down, fully turning to Sage, revealing a small smile on her face.

“I’m sure Ciara would say the same thing about you,” the princess finally said.

Sage nodded, allowing herself to genuinely smile a bit before her face fell into her usual scowl. “Don’t ever repeat anything I said.”

The princess chuckled. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

A comfortable silence resumed as the princess finished her nightly routine and Sage prepared to leave. Once the princess was in bed, another guard would take over outside. As Sage checked over her weapons, making sure all of them were accounted for, there was a distinct thump on the balcony.

Snarling, Sage didn’t wait for the princess’s orders before she was bolting out, dagger drawn. “Who’s there? Show yourself!”

She just made it through the curtains when she found herself face to face with the intruder, barely stopping with her blade at his throat as he threw his hands up.

Arc.

“Arc?!” Sage shouted, drawing her sword back. Behind her, she heard the princess’s footsteps rapidly approaching.

“Sage? What are you still doing here?” Arc asked.

“What are you doing here?!” Sage demanded in return.

“Sage!” the princess called after her guard as she ran onto the balcony, too, pausing at the entryway when she saw who else was there. “Arc?”

“Don’t worry, princess,” Sage promised, edging closer, causing him to flinch back. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Wait, no!” the princess shouted, throwing herself in front of Arc, forcing Sage to draw her dagger back. “It’s okay, I was expecting him.”

Sage’s eyes narrowed as she took in the princess’s protective move. “Through your balcony?”

“Uh…” the princess looked behind her and up at Arc, but he seemed to be at a loss for words too, shrugging helplessly at her.

Sage’s eyes flitted between the two, noticing the way they seemed in sync with that one motion as they shared a look. The princess’s back was to Arc’s chest, almost touching but not quite. It was close, more familiar than the princess allowed herself to be with anyone. But then again, the princess and Arc had always seemed friendlier than they probably should be - walking around the kingdom with each other with their sides brushing, thinking they were discreet when everyone noticed their hushed conversations between fond smiles and laughs. And now, there was this whole late night rendezvous going on….

Realization hit, and Sage groaned.

“Seriously?” she said, sheathing her dagger into her belt. “You could do so much better, princess.”

The princess and Arc looked at each other and back at her, looking lost.

“No need to play dumb,” Sage said, rolling her eyes. “It’s pretty obvious what’s going on here.”

“It is?” the princess asked, squeaking.

“Yep,” Sage said, popping the ‘p.’ “A word of advice though - it’s a bit too obvious. If you’re trying to keep up the whole secret relationship thing, at least don’t hang out together in broad daylight.”

They stared at her, wide-eyed. She took in their expressions with a bit of glee - they really hadn’t expected anyone to figure it out, huh?

“Right,” Arc eventually said, his voice strained. “You caught us. Secret relationship.”

“I didn’t need to catch anything,” Sage said. “You walked in here yourself. Or...jumped here, I guess. Can anyone just do that? Jeez, the princess really does need better security.”

“You won’t tell anyone, right?” the princess urgently asked.

Sage sighed. It would be so easy to let this delicious bit of information slip and to watch the chaos unfold. There was no telling just how the Phoenix Squad would explode between Warwick’s very loud crush on the princess, and Ciara’s less pronounced crush on Arc - which, yeah, Sage thought that was pretty obvious, too. (And later, Sage would think back on it and feel a bit bad for Ciara since she used to think those feelings were returned, but apparently not.)

But she looked at the princess, and remembered how they had been bonding earlier and how well they were getting along. And how sad and kind of pathetic the princess seemed to be trapped in her towers and castle walls. And Sage always was a fan of rebellion.

What was one more secret?

“Fine, I won’t tell,” Sage sighed dramatically. “For now, at least. I’m sure having blackmail on a Phoenix Squad member and having the princess owe me a favor will come in handy eventually.”

The princess exhaled in relief, and before Sage could understand what was going on, the princess was flying forward and circling her arms around her neck in a hug, albeit an awkward one.

“Thank you,” the princess said. She pulled away, a small smile tugging at her mouth. “I really am glad I asked for you to be my guard today.”

Sage awkwardly patted the princess’s shoulder, unused to affection from anyone who wasn’t Buttercup. “I...yeah. Of course,” she said, and somehow, the words didn’t come out like she was in pain.

Behind them, Arc looked at the two girls, still somewhat wary, but more relaxed than he was before.

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, eyes flitting between Sage and the princess in slight confusion.

Sage nodded, and headed for the door. “I’ll let you guys be. Good night.”

As she closed the door behind her, she could hear Arc and the princess’s voices launch into soft conversation, their words indecipherable. Somehow, them together made absolutely no sense, yet it made more sense than anything else had in a while. Sage shook her head. She had other things to concern herself with. The whip battle was tomorrow, and Buttercup, loyal as ever, was probably waiting up for her to get back.

Loyal. At the end of the day, Sage thought, it all came down to loyalty. Loyalty to Buttercup, loyalty to Astoria, and with the knowledge of this secret, loyalty to the princess.

#knight squad #tiara thief #arc x ciara #sage #arc #ciara #my writing #shona

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gothgovernment · 4 years

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In Bed With Geo (Louis Tomlinson One Shot)

December 2015

"Hi friends and welcome back to in bed with Geo. As you can see, today I'm in bed by myself. This video has been a long time coming, which makes filming it right now absolutely terrifying..." I trail off with a nervous laugh. "Because I was so nervous, I spent three hours getting ready just to avoid this for as long as possible." I smile into the camera before taking a moment to collect my thoughts.

"As I'm sure you've all heard, One Direction announced their hiatus today. I've known this was coming for a few weeks now and it breaks my heart to see this all come to an end. These guys are the reason I have a career. These guys are some of my best friends. These guys are the reason I'm still here. And I am so proud of them for doing what's right and taking a break now before they all burn out..." I start to tear up. Fuck this video is going to be a rough one to edit.

"So, this is my story of how One Direction, and one member in particular, impacted my life in the best way possible."

September 2011

"Welcome Mr Tanaka," the petite lady at the door said as she let my father and I into the party. It was packed with important looking people wearing their nicest suits and dresses. One Direction signs littered the walls as everyone celebrated the release of the boy bands first single 'What Makes You Beautiful'. My dad is a musician with Syco. He helped write and record the guitar for One Directions upcoming debut album. I've always admired his work and I am so proud of him for helping aspiring musicians to realize their dreams.

Dad turned to me and smiled while throwing his tattooed arm around me, "you look so beautiful tonight, honey." He always knew how to ease my nerves. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I responded with a soft thanks. "I've got to go congratulate the boys, want to come meet them?"

"Of course! I've only been asking you to introduce me since your first session with them," I giggled as Dad stuck his tongue out at me. I quickly grabbed a glass of champagne from a tray a waitress was carrying before following dad in the direction of 5 young lads. As we approached them, beautiful blue eyes locked with mine. I smiled politely at the handsome boy as Dad and I came to a stop in front of the group. He returned the smile and stuck his hand out for me to shake.

"Ahh so you're Geo. Izuki here has not shut up about you! I'm Louis," he said cheekily, giving my dad a playful nudge on the shoulder after our hands parted.

"Oh really? What has he said about me? All good things I assume," I bite back a smile as I see Dad rolling his eyes at us. Dad has told me a lot about the boys, but especially Louis. He seems to think we are destined to be friends.

"Alright, give it a rest," my Dad huffed with a smirk, "Boys!" My dad called to grab the attention of the remaining four band members. "This is my daughter Geo. Geo, this is Zayn, Harry, Liam and Niall." They all took turns shaking my hand with Harry even giving me a hug. "Right well, I'm leaving Geo with you while I go and talk business." Dad quickly turned and walked away, leaving me with these strangers. I watched Dad walk away before slowly turning back to the boys, immediately locking eyes with Louis again.

I spent the next 3 hours being dragged around the party by Louis, being introduced to countless important people. Something about this boys carefree and almost childish nature made me feel instantly attached to him. He is just so unapologetically himself all the time, it's almost contagious.

We had just finished raiding the food table when Louis asked me, "so, Geo... what are your plans for the future? Izuki has mentioned you're an incredible drummer." I should have known my Dad would talk about my drumming. It is, after all, his greatest achievement in me. Instilling me with a passion for music is the reason we are so close to each other. After my mother suddenly passed away, connecting through music has gotten us through our grief.

"Well right now my dream is to work as a drum tech but I also have an idea for a YouTube channel where I interview musicians, in my bed, pyjamas on, and ask them real questions. I want to talk to people about how their lives have influenced their music. How being in the industry impacts them. I want to know about their families, their hopes and dreams. I want to talk to artists like real people. Get to know why they are in this industry and if it's worth it. If the pros outweigh the cons... But that's just a fantasy. I would have no idea where to even start. I mean, the only musicians I really know are my dad and now you." I fiddle with the ring on my middle finger, realizing I just gave a much longer than necessary answer. Louis' silence causes me to look away from my ring and toward him. He is looking at me, mouth agape. His face suddenly splits into a smile which instantly helps to ease my slowly growing anxiety.

"You're a very interesting girl, Geo. Very interesting indeed..." He trails off as he quickly pulls out his phone, texting someone rapidly.

It's now close to midnight and Dad has decided to call it a night. As I bid farewell to the boys in the form of hugs, I reach Louis last.

"So..." I made eye contact with the Doncaster boy. "is there any chance I could grab your number? Ya know, in case you ever feel like making that dream a reality?" The cheeky glint in his eye makes me nervous.

"What? You want to come on my imaginary show?" Surely he was just being polite. No way would he actually want to waste his time on an interview that would maybe get 6 views.

"I text the lads about it earlier and we're all on board. It sounds like a brilliant idea. I fully believe in you, love." Okay wow, this feels like a dream. THE X Factor boy band One Direction want to be interviewed by me?

"If you're trying to make me swoon, you've achieved your goal," I giggle, pulling my phone out of my purse and handing it to him. When he returns my phone I see that he had text himself 'sup u sexy fuck'. I burst out laughing before giving him a long hug, whispering a goodbye in his ear.

December 2015

"I met One Direction in 2011 at the single launch for 'What Makes You Beautiful'. My dad was the guitarist for all of the recording and writing of Up All Night. All the boys instantly accepted me into their lives. Especially my now best friend Louis Tomlinson. After talking to Lou about wanting to start this channel, he immediately encouraged me and we set up the first ever 'In Bed With... One Direction'. That video gained 400,000 views within six months and affectively created my career. My whole life as I know it is owed to Lou. If it wasn't for his complete and utter faith in me, I don't think I would be here today." I start to cry, reminiscing on beautiful memories. I take a sip of my tea and think for a moment. I really wish L was here right now, but I know we would both be blubbering messes. I need to do this alone. For once, I need to do something without relying on him.

"Since my first interview with One Direction my channel has blown up. It has afforded me this house, my friends, the opportunity to meet some of my biggest idols and most importantly it has moulded me into the strong and powerful woman I am today. So I want to take this opportunity to thank you boys. Louis, Harry, Zayn, Niall and Liam. I love each of you more than I can put into words."

My phone buzzes beside me and I pick it up. 'Big Louser' sent me a text.

baby g, you okay? youve

not text me in a week :(

I sighed as I put the phone back down. I should have known he'd pick up on me semi-ghosting him. I have been so nervous around him ever since he and Eleanor split up about 9 months ago. It's like, I finally have my chance to tell him how I feel but I am so scared of losing the best part of my life. That's why, when he called me about a month ago to say the band had finally come to the conclusion of going on an extended break, I knew I had to make this video. So that the world can know and remember how important Louis and the rest of the lads are. And so that Lou can finally know how I feel. I pick my phone back up, knowing I should reply.

I'm sorry L. I promise

I'll make it up to you.

I'm filming a new video

right now that will be up

later tonight. I'll send

you the link when it's up!

Love you x

I turn my phone onto do not disturb and return my focus to the camera. "I want to talk a little bit about each of the boys from a friends perspective. Firstly, I would like to talk about Zayn. Z, you are one of the gentlest, kindest people I have ever met. You have dealt with so much during and after your time with the band. The constant racist and Islamophobic tweets and comments really wore you down a lot more than you'd let on. But Z, you would always rise above them, knowing that your culture made you into the incredible person you are today." I pause, hesitant about what I am going to say next. I would hate to overstep any boundaries here.

Choosing my words carefully, I continue. "Leaving the band must have been the toughest decision anyone could make. I remember you texting me about two months after you left to ask if I thought you'd made the right choice leaving behind your friends, your brothers. Your concern wasn't about if this would affect your future career, it was if it affected your friends. That's the epitome of the Zayn I love." I knew I would edit in a few videos I have of Z and I over the years throughout this mini speech.

I have a video of Zayn and I napping together on the couch in the green room before their show in Sydney in February of this year. He'd been really anxious about the first show of the tour and the nerves wore him out. We were originally sat together, talking about how huge this tour was going to be when he drifted off to sleep with me in his arms. I soon followed after and we napped for two hours before he was woken up to get his hair done. Who would have known that just a few weeks later he would crumble under the pressure and quit. I wish I noticed the warning signs.

"Liam 'good game' Payne, where do I begin? You are my brother, my teammate, my friend. You have always been my favourite person to play Fifa with. I remember a week after my Dad died, I heard the doorbell ring and when I opened it, you were standing there with a dozen of my favourite red velvet cupcakes and your PS4 controller. We played together in silence for hours. Once I was finally ready to talk, you stayed awake with me until 6am, sharing stories about my Dad, our lives and talking about our futures. I will always cherish you, no matter how frustrating you can be." Again, I know exactly what videos to edit in of Liam and I. One of them is him, wearing a crop top and skirt voguing after I did a full glam makeup look on him. He's going to hate me for posting it.

"Haz. My love. My guiding star. I would be a complete disaster without you. Although you are the worlds worst replier and you never answer when I call, you always seem to text me or show up at my house right when I feel like I'm falling apart. It's like the universe has linked you to me. You're my crisis line, and I am yours. I cannot even begin to count all the nights we have lied on the couch together just crying. Happy crying, sad crying, angry crying... It would almost have to be as many nights that we have spent laughing together. H, you were destined to be a rockstar. I can't think of any other job you could be more suited to. I know this is just the beginning for you, and I honestly can't wait to see you grow." I still cannot believe that my baby H is only 21 yet has achieved more than most people do in their entire lifetime. "I love you almost as much as I love apple pie." I am full on crying now. That last sentence really broke me. He and I have an inside joke that nothing in this world is better than a homemade apple pie. We would often text each other about incredible/rare/unique moments and rate them on an apple pie scale.

"Horan. I don't really have much I can say here because 90% of our conversations are inside jokes but I will say this; you have changed my life in such a unique way. I know we've had our differences, but I wouldn't change any of it. You're the one person who can make me laugh no matter what mood I'm in. You are such a light to this world. Without you in this band, I think the boys would've collapsed under the pressure a long time ago. Without you, this industry would've swallowed up every bit of joy they have. You have kept all of us sane with your stupid, loud laughter and irritatingly optimistic attitude. Please never, ever change for anyone you precious wanker." I know that I might seem a bit harsh towards Niall, but this is how we speak to each other. We've always been way too honest and, at times, cynical with only each other. He truly is one of a kind. Niall and I haven't shared as many moments together as I have with the other boys, but the moments we've had are definitely special.

"And last but certainly not least, Louis 'dumb fuck' Tomlinson. I don't even know if I can put into words how you have changed my life. You are my favourite person in this entire universe. Without you, there's a good chance I wouldn't be alive today. You are the reason I have so much self-worth, confidence and happiness within myself. You have single-handedly gotten me through some of my deepest depressions. I can't imagine my life without you. I've been trying to think about what story best represents how you're truly an incredible friend. I decided that although everything you do is a testament to how amazing you are, I would tell the one that made me cry the most.

"The year was 2013, I was 20 years old and I experienced my first heartbreak. My girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with multiple people. I called you up, crying so hard I couldn't form a sentence. You sat patiently on the phone with me for an hour, never knowing what was wrong, just waiting for me to calm down. When I finally just hung up because I couldn't string two words together you text me that you love me. Six hours later and you walked into my bedroom, pulled me into your arms and laid with me for two days. You flew home early from your press tour without any idea of what was wrong with me. You just knew I was upset and you pushed everything aside to be there for me. When I finally told you what had happened, you hugged me tighter, looked me in the eyes and said, "you are the most perfect person in the world and you deserve to be with someone who recognises that." I think it was then that I realised that I'm completely and utterly in love with you. But you were with Eleanor, whom I adore still to this day. I would never have wanted to ruin what you two had. Because all I've ever wanted since I met you is for you to be happy. And El always made you happy." A sob escapes my mouth as I think of how broken hearted I have felt over the last few years, knowing that my true love would never be mine.

I decide to talk some time to cool down, so I walk to my kitchen to make another cup of tea. While I wait for the jug to boil, I rub my finger over my tiny teacup tattoo. Lou and I got matching tattoos not long after the boys finished recording 'Little Things'. He showed me the song and I fell in love with his verse, so we went out that afternoon and got our tattoos together, his shout. I walk back into the bedroom, press record on the camera again and get comfortable.

"When you called me up crying because you and Eleanor split up, I came straight over and returned the favour. I lived at your house for a week, doing anything I could to make you happy again. And then you went back on tour, and I returned home, and I've never felt so alone. After that week of us spending every second of every day together I realised that you're my soulmate. There's no one I want to be around more than you. And I know you're going to be so mad that I'm posting this video instead of texting you back but I want the whole world to know that you are perfect."

I finished the video with a few happier stories about my time with the boys, then wrapped it up. This was going to be an emotional afternoon.

Pressing public on that video was strange. I almost felt numb after all the emotions I had poured out while filming and editing it. I immediately text the link to all 5 boys and went to have a shower. The video was about 20 minutes long so I expected their responses would be a little while away. What I didn't expect was to walk out of the shower and into my bedroom to see Louis sitting on the end of my bed, tears streaming down his face.

We made eye contact once he realized I had entered the room. Frozen in my spot, Louis took the initiative of standing up and walking towards me. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" His voice broke as he spoke, tears threatening to spill. I tried to form words but I was too scared of the impending rejection. "Geo. We're best friends. Why didn't you talk to me? I thought that... I..." His words trailed off as the tears streamed down his face. He looked down at his feet, he always gets embarrassed when he cries. I gently grab his right hand, causing him to make eye contact again.

"I am so, so, so sorry Lou. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I guess I thought saying it indirectly would make this easier but it's so much harder than I ever could have imagined." I look away from his bloodshot, blue eyes and focus on my hand in his. "I'm in love with you. I think I always have been... And I'm sorry that this will make our friendship weird now. I don't expect you to ever want to talk to me again to be honest."

"How fucking dare you think that. If you think I could live without you, you're insane." Louis swiftly pulled me towards him with his free hand, kissing me with all the love he could possibly give.

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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years

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Hello Everyone!

So, as you may have noticed, the Stitched AU is finished! Wow. About time XD And of course, my immediate next instinct is to start writing something new. I’m gonna hold off for a bit, partly to give myself a break, partly to let it sink in to me that the Stitched AU is over, but I think maybe I’ll start on the new project sometime in June.

The problem is, I have three ideas, and I’m not sure which one I want to work on first. So I’m asking you guys for feedback. Here is a link to a strawpoll:

http://www.strawpoll.me/45233665

Here, you can vote on which story I should work on. Don’t worry, they’ll all be done eventually! This’ll just give me advice on which ones to prioritize. You know, help me figure out the order that I’ll be working on them. So just choose the one you want to see first ^-^ And to help you further, here is:

CRYSTAL’S LIST OF FUTURE PROJECTS

JSE Superhero AU Okay I know there are like a million superhero AUs out there for basically all fandoms, but I wanted to throw my hat in the ring and see what I can do with the idea ^-^ Follow Jackie as he tries his best to protect his city, fight with villains, and figure out what it means to be a hero. Pros:

-I feel I have a pretty good grasp of the characters and worldbuilding

-Superheroes are cool and I think people'll like my interpretations :D

Cons:

There's not really a solid plot yet, except for this vague outline I have

JSE Fantasy Masks AU You know high fantasy? Well, good! Because that's what this is, taking place not in our world, but in another fantasy world all together, with magic and stuff. The boys live in a far-off kingdom where the King is growing too powerful, so they all form/join a group dedicated to helping people and taking down tyranny. Pros:

Got a pretty good idea for the worldbuilding and the plot and how it'll play out

I write a lot of fantasy so this'll be going back to my roots

Cons:

Don't have as good a grasp on the characters as I'd like to

Some people might find this a departure from my usual stuff

NEW! DreamSMP AU It was only a matter of time before I caved and started writing fics for roleplaying Minecraft streamers XD I just had to get a good idea for it. Taking place shortly before Tommy's final prison visit (because that was the last time I was fully caught up on everyone's lore) and involving the Egg going crazy like we all know it can. Pros:

New characters! New setting! Oh my god! :D (Meaning it'll probably be a nice change of pace to read and write)

Cons:

New characters. New setting. Oh my god O_O (Meaning I'm not yet as familiar with characterization and worldbuilding, so it could be off at times)

Will probably update less frequently than my usual schedule

Thanks guys! ^-^

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daemour · 4 years

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神奇 (Shénqí)

Title: 神奇 (Shénqí)

Summary: Lost in a magical forest is not what you expected. Neither was being stuck in a fairy village for the unforeseeable future. But you didn't mind it too much, especially when there was a sweet fairy willing to help you out.

Genre: Fantasy, romance, fairy au, strangers 2 friends 2 enemies 2 lovers

Pairing: Jungkook x gender neutral!reader

Word Count: 1747

Warnings: None, some sus activity from Seokjin, but nothing implying non-con because there is none lol reader loves junglebook (there’s no smut or implied smut don’t worry

Written for the @goldenclosetnetwork Jungkook’s Birthday Project!

AND thank you to @ditttiii for beta’ing@

You had never imagined that your great-great-great-grandfather would be a witch. You had always been one of the only humans able to live in a predominantly witch city. And yet there you were, in a fairy village. You didn't mean to be there. But you somehow were. Sharing a meal with a small group of fairies too. There were only seven in total, as they had left their old village to start anew.

Honest to God, you were surprised at their willingness to let you stay there. Since the forest wouldn't let you leave for a month, they graciously allowed you to live among them. You had heard from your grandfather stories about fairies that would kidnap and kill you, but maybe he was wrong. Plus, by the time he told you about the fairies, he was old, and you didn't believe in them. He must have had many bad experiences because these fairies were kind.

Namjoon was the leader of the fairies, being the only one able to speak your language fluently. The others did know some but at varying levels. Seokjin was the oldest, and the best cook. Yoongi...you actually didn't know much about him, except that he slept a lot. Hoseok was friendly and basically the sun. Jimin was sweet and kept making everyone flower crowns. Taehyung loved to sing for you. And Jungkook...

He was the youngest of the fairies, clocking in at forty years old. It seemed old to you, but that's in fairy years. In human years, he was around your age, albeit a year younger. He was sweet and naïve, always asking you questions about humans that you struggled to answer. You didn't know why you had thirty-two teeth, goddammit. But he was kind and pretty and loved to talk to you.

Even after a week of being there, the other fairies still hadn’t warmed up to you, so they didn't talk to you much. Other than Jungkook, Namjoon was the only one who had done the talking. Hoseok, bless him, tried, but he still scuttled away after a few minutes. And you don't think Yoongi had even looked your way.

"(Y/N)! Why do you wear shoes?" Ah, another endearing question.

"To protect my feet, Kookie. I don't want to cut them or hurt while I walk." Jungkook looked satisfied, but you knew another question would be coming shortly.

"What is a soda?" There it was.

"It's like a sweet drink with bubbles in it. It's not very good for you, but it's tasty."

"Can I have one?" You laughed at him this time.

"Sorry, Jungkook. I don't carry soda around with me. Maybe once I leave, I'll come visit and bring a soda." You missed the looks the others shot you and Jungkook, but Jungkook certainly didn’t and went quiet after. The rest of the dinner was finished in silence, and you head back to your tent, which the fairies set up for you.

Like with each of their huts, the inside is larger than the outside. They gave you a bed and some kind of weird light source consisting of white glowy petals in a jar. It's simple, but you quite like the homey-ness of it. You'll miss it when you leave.

You don't understand why the forest wants to keep you here for thirty days. Even the fairies were confused, so it mustn't be something the forest usually does. You sincerely hope that the forest will be kind to you, as you've heard tales from other travelers. "(Y/N)?" A fairy is calling out for you again, and you turn to see who it is. Hoseok.

"Hey, Hoseok. What's up?" You offer a smile, and he returns it.

"Jungkook likes you. You're funny, he thinks. Since he talks, you teach him your words? Namjoon tired from translation, and I feel bad." Hoseok still doesn't enter the tent fully, but you appreciate his coming to talk to you instead of making Namjoon come too. Though, you guess, he already explained why he didn't bring the younger fairy.

"Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, Seok." You don't even know why you're thanking him, but Hoseok seems to know, giving you a small smile and exiting. You sit down on the bed and cover the bottle of light with a small cloth. You wonder how teaching Jungkook language will go.

Not good. Not to say that Jungkook isn't a good student. He is. He just asks so many questions you don't know where to start. Like why the grass is green. He's a fairy. Doesn't he know this? The first lesson was not very productive, just you answering his questions. The second lesson was much of the same, and so was the third. Jungkook learned only a little grammar. They all were just Jungkook asking questions and you answering them until the eighth lesson and second week.

"(Y/N)? What's a...marriage?" Jungkook tries out the foreign word, stuttering a little over the last syllable. What. Your surprise must have shown on your face because Jungkook immediately became even more curious. "(Y/N)?"

"Marriage is a bond between people romantically," you try to answer him as simple as possible, but Jungkook is not satisfied.

"What do you mean?" Oh shit.

"Well, um. Let's say you like someone very much, and not like your sister or brother. You want to spend eternity with them. So you marry them. You are together in death or in life."

"But why do you have to marry them?"

"What brought this up?" Jungkook shrugs.

"I heard Namjoon reading his book of words. Anyway, why do you have to marry them?"

"His encyclopedia, Jungkook. And marriage is optional, but people like the feeling, I guess. I don't really know, Jungkook."

"Can I marry you?"

"No." You answered too fast, and Jungkoook's face falls. "No, not like I don't like you, Kook. I just don't know you well enough. Plus, you're cool, beautiful, and a fairy, and I'm kinda...ugly," you try for a deprecating joke to ease the tension, but Jungkook is having none of it. His eyes narrow.

"You're always beautiful to me, you know that?" You choke, but he still stares at you.

"Thanks." You don't know how else to respond to that. "Shall we continue with the lesson?

After that eventful day, Jungkook had acted differently. He paid attention and stopped asking so many questions. He also started clinging onto you, and you were genuinely confused. Even Namjoon and the others were confused. You had everyone else come up to you when Jungkook wasn't paying attention and ask you if Jungkook was dating you. You wouldn’t mind that, but with how Jungkook is acting, you just want to know what he’s doing first instead of pursuing something romantic.

Alas, you weren't. Jungkook was just being weird. Which lead you here, asking Taehyung what was up with Jungkook.

"Hmm? Jungkook? He is being the Haekurl Gauren."

"The what?" Taehyung just shrugs. He doesn't know how to say it in your language.

"All right. Thank you, Tae. I'll ask Namjoon." You continue on your wild goose chase, until you get an answer from, not Namjoon, surprisingly. The man immediately avoided you as soon as he saw you. You got your answer from Seokjin.

"Haekurl Gauren? That's the action we make to love someone."

"What?" You stare at the unbothered fairy. "Like marriage?"

Seokjin shakes his head. "No, not human. Fairy's blood bonds. We love someone with all love, our blood is theirs. They stay with us forever. Why do you know Haekurl Gauren?"

You stare at him for a straight minute, too surprised to speak. "It's- Taehyung told me- Jungkook?" Seokjin laughs, squeaky and high-pitched.

"I know. Jungkook talks us about you."

"I can't? Jungkook is a fairy, I am a human?" You don't understand. Seokjin smiles gently, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Jungkook is a good one. He is okay. But he won’t make you do what you won’t .” His hand tightens on your shoulder. “But he will be upset, and we don’t like him upset.”

You try to shake him off, but Seokjin is unwavering. “Yes, I understand.” Seokjin is pleased, and lets you go. You quickly walk away, trying to calm your beating heart. And...here comes Jungkook, beaming like he just won the fairy lottery.

“(Y/N)!” He calls out for you, and feeling Seokjin’s eyes boring into your back, you offer him a wide smile and ruffle his hair. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“I found a fairy marriage! I asked Namjoon, he says Haekurl Gauren is the marriage!” Oh, God. You try your best to get out of this.

“But you barely know me!” Jungkook is unphased.

“No, we spent lessons together! I know you! You like strawberries, you can’t sleep without having something to hug, and you sneeze like a monster!”

“But that’s not nearly enough! Jungkook, are you serious?” Jungkook’s face starts to fall, and you can hear Seokjin start to get up.

“You don’t like me? I should’ve known.”

You start to panic, but still try to hide it. “Jungkook, I just need a little more time. It’s not a no.” He’s still unhappy, and Seokjin is getting closer. “Jungkook, please. I love you, but I need some time.”

Jungkook looks at you with watery eyes. He sniffles, and your heart breaks into pieces. You want to marry him, God, you do, but it’s just too soon. You don’t think you would be able to love him fully if you are suddenly bonded to him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Kook, I promise. I just am unused to this sudden confession. Please, believe me. I truly do love you, but I just need a little more time to adjust.” Jungkook starts to perk back up, tears still sparkling in his eyes. You suddenly don’t regret your vague promise to marry him. If he looks like this every day, you wouldn’t mind it.

“Will the next solstice be enough time for you?” Jungkook grasps your hands in his, kissing the tips of your fingers.

Next solstice...it is currently the middle of fall, and you think you can love him within that time frame. “Yes, Kook.”

Jungkook beams up at you, and you are so caught up in his smile that you don’t notice Seokjin returning to his seat with a small nod at Namjoon. It is completely understandable, now that you have a wedding to plan.

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beatlejuice64 · 3 years

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Destiel Season 15: A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 15 Summary Analysis

Cas, Dean, and Sam are all grieving Jack’s death, but Cas is reeling much more than the other two. Belphagor’s possession of Jack’s body disturbs Cas more than it does Dean or Sam. Dean’s resentment toward Cas lingers from the previous season, and he is insensitive to Castiel’s acute emotional pain. After finding out the truth about God, Dean has an existential crisis because he’s struggling to feel like their lives have any meaning. Dean repeatedly disregards Castiel’s well-being, and Cas decides to leave after realizing that Dean will not forgive him for what happened to Mary. After spending some time on his own and solving a case by himself, Cas returns to the Winchesters to help fight God with renewed vigor. During a trip to Purgatory, Dean apologizes to Cas for how angry he has been and the two reconcile. Both Cas and Dean’s spirits are lifted when Jack returns, until they find out that Jack will likely have to die to defeat God. As they get closer to defeating God, Dean becomes hyper focused, letting his anger and existential frustration overpower his love for his family, even getting close to killing Sam. Cas confesses his love for Dean, telling him that he’s the “most caring man on Earth.” Dean is devastated by Castiel’s death, but he takes his words to heart and lets go of his anger to embrace a nonviolent solution to defeating Chuck. After Dean dies, he finally feels at peace with himself in heaven.

My interpretation:

Cas is hurt when Dean says that nothing in their lives is real. He tries (and fails) to convince Dean that the relationship they’ve built over time is what they can hold onto as real. Castiel is able to let Dean’s mistreatment slide off his back for a short time, but Cas is deeply wounded when Dean shows that he doesn’t trust Castiel’s judgment. Cas reaches a breaking point that is compounded by Dean’s refusal to acknowledge Castiel’s difficult sacrifice of burning Jack’s body to defeat Belphagor. Because Cas has built up a strong sense of self-worth over the last couple of seasons, he knows he deserves to be treated with respect and is not willing to stay with someone who does not trust him. Dean has developed a habit of taking Cas for granted and treats him poorly without realizing the impact it will have. Dean is surprised when Cas decides to leave, but does not stop him from doing so because he doesn’t believe it’s for good.

Cas attempts to make a life for himself away from Dean, but he can’t stop thinking about him (spending his time fishing because of what Dean had told him about its “meditative qualities”). When Cas is forced to use Dean’s phone number as a back up for his fake FBI identity, Dean takes the opportunity to warn him about Chuck because he still cares about Castiel’s safety. When Cas returns, he and Dean have difficulty being in each other’s company because they’re both still hurt by each other’s actions. When they are tasked with going to Purgatory, Cas sacrifices himself to save Dean from the Leviathans. Dean is afraid he might lose Cas for good this time and prays to him for forgiveness in an act of true emotional vulnerability. He is relieved to later find Cas alive. Cas forgives Dean’s past behavior and appreciates how hard it was for Dean to open up to him.

When Jack returns, Dean and Cas share a caring look that shows that they both know how much it means to the other that Jack is alive. Cas knows that Dean feels guilt for being so close to killing Jack, and Dean knows how hard Jack’s death was on Cas. In that moment, they are happy for each other even more than they are for themselves. When Cas finds out that Jack is likely to die, he tells Dean immediately, having learned to trust him more. Because Dean keeps the truth from Sam, Sam finds it odd that Cas would leave for no reason. Sam is surprised to hear that it did not start a fight between them again because he sees how close they have grown and how connected they have been.

When going after Chuck, Sam is only barely able to steer Dean away from the path of violence by appealing to Dean’s love for his brother. Dean is not able to fully step away from his anger until after Castiel tells him what he needs to hear—that he is a caring man who always acts out of love. Because Sam is one of the people that Dean has cared for his entire life, Sam is unable to fully understand the burden Dean feels to protect the world, but Castiel has felt a similar burden of protection over Dean that allows them to connect on another level (to share a more profound bond).

When Castiel says, “The one thing I want. It’s something I know I can’t have,” he is referring to wanting a peaceful life together with Dean. This is impossible because of the constant danger they are in (not because Dean is incapable of reciprocating feelings). Cas and Dean have had a close relationship for years but have never verbally expressed feelings of love to each other. They have never gone to that next level of intimacy because being in constant danger has made them afraid of losing it once they had it. Since Cas knows he will die, he is able to let go of his attachment to being with Dean and fully embody the love he feels without fear of being hurt by it. He doesn’t fear losing Dean because he knows his actions will save Dean. Dean’s response to Castiel’s profession of love is to clam up because he can’t handle the thought of losing Cas.

Hearing how Castiel sees him is what pushes Dean to finally let go of the self hatred and toxic masculinity that he has struggled with his entire life. Hearing that a cosmic being thousands of years old chose to reject Heaven and save humanity out of love for him made a huge impact. Dean has continuously struggled to be truly vulnerable and let Cas into his heart because he never felt worthy of that kind of love. Dean’s intense grief at the loss of his best friend is embedded with regret for not getting a chance to tell him how he feels in return. Right before he dies, Dean tells Sam how much he looked up to him for being his own person and not bending to the will of their father, reminding us of Dean’s lifelong struggle with identity.

In Heaven we learn from Bobby that Cas helped build the new Heaven, and Dean is pleased to learn that Cas survived. Unfortunately, we don’t actually get to see Cas reunited with Dean on screen, but we can assume that they do see each other again. We can only speculate about what their interaction would be like, but I choose to believe that Dean, having let go of his self-hatred and toxic masculinity to embrace his true identity, is finally able to verbally reciprocate romantic feelings for Cas. Reaching this level of self acceptance is the Heaven Dean “deserves.” Jack’s new Heaven allows Dean and Cas to be happy together for eternity, along with the rest of their found family.

15.01 Back and to the Future

Dean yells at Cas for ideas, and Cas is frustrated that Dean seems to expect him to solve the problem for them: “Cas, come on, man! Ideas! Can you smite our way outta here?!” “No, you saw them—I would be overwhelmed, Dean.” Cas is adamant that Belphagor leave Jack’s body, but Dean insists that they see if the demon can help them. The lingering tension between Cas and Dean from the previous season causes them to argue about the demon.

When the gang reaches the high school, Dean asks Cas how he his, but then walks away before he can finish a sentence: Are you ok?” “Yes, but...” “Good.” Cas looks completely dejected, and Belphagor recognizes the tension: “Wow. Awkward.”

15.02 Raising Hell

Cas apologizes to Dean about not telling him about Jack, but Dean rejects his effort. Cas explains that he’s angry, too, but he still has hope, and he tries to help Dean see why their lives still matter: “Dean, I recognize that I dropped the puck.” “Ball. It’s, uh, dropped the ball.” “Ball, right. I didn’t tell you about Jack, and then after what happened with your mother...” “Don’t.” “You’re angry.” “Yes, I am angry, at everything, all of it!” “All of it?” “This mess, all the messes. It turns out that we’re just hamsters turning in a wheel our whole lives? What do we have to show for it, huh? Tell me you don’t feel conned. God’s been lying to you, Cas, forever. You bought into the biggest scam in history.” “You don’t think I’m angry? After what Chuck did, after what he took from me? He killed Jack! But that doesn’t mean it was ALL a lie.” “Really?” “Chuck is all-knowing. He knew the truth, he just kept it to himself.” “Well, now that his cover’s blown, everything that we’ve done is for what? Nothing.” “Even if we didn’t know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck’s machinations, how would we describe it all? We’d call it life, because that’s precisely what life is. It’s an obstacle course, and maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race, we made our own moves, and mostly, we did well with that.” “Did we? I’ll tell ya what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck. So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice, but I can’t.” “Dean, you asked what about all of this is real. We are.”

15.03 The Rupture

Dean volunteers Cas to accompany Belphagor to Hell. Cas is taken aback by Dean’s bossiness, but he reluctantly goes along with it: “Yeah, Cas will go. You’ve been to hell before.” “Well, it sounds like I don’t have a choice.” “Good. Great. Go team.”

Belphagor notices the disregard Dean seems to have for Castiel’s safety: “You know, your part in all this is, uh, pretty dangerous. I mean, you could die, get trapped in Hell... Your friends might not ever see you again. Funny, ‘cause, uh, they didn’t seem to think twice about it.”

Belphagor tries again to get under Castiel’s skin by suggesting that Sam and Dean don’t care about him: “You are not growing on anyone. Sam and Dean are just using you. Don’t mistake that for caring about you, because I can assure you, they don’t.” “Wow, you learn that the hard way? What is it, Cas, this, uh, seething animosity?” “You’re wearing Jack, who was like a son to me, like a coat. Every second in your presence is intolerable. It’s an abomination. You’re an abomination.”

Cas attempts to comfort Dean but is met with hostility. Dean blames Cas for Rowena’s death and cuts him to the core by suggesting that their failures are always his fault: “Sorry about Rowena.” “You’re sorry... Why didn’t you just stick to the damn plan?” “Belphagor was lying.” “Belphagor’s a demon.” “He was using us. He wanted to eat every last soul to take over Hell, Earth, and everything.” “Yeah, and we would’ve figured it out! After! With Rowena!” “The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this, something always goes wrong.” “Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?”

Dean looks away after insulting Cas, and there is an awkward silence. Cas is visibly distraught, but not surprised. He confirms that Dean still blames him for Mary’s death and then leaves: “You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt.” “Now you can barely look at me. My powers are failing, and I’ve tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don’t wanna hear it. You don’t care. I’m dead to you. You still blame me for Mary.” Dean nods. “Well, I don’t think there’s anything left to say.” “Where you goin’?” “Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

15.04 Atomic Monsters

Sam teases Dean for calling himself the meat man, and they exchange an awkward look: “You gotta stop calling yourself the ‘meat man.’ It doesn’t mean what you think it means.” “Yeah, it does.”

15.05 Proverbs 17:3

Sam is concerned about Cas and tries to contact him multiple times (unsuccessfully), but Dean doesn’t seem to mind his absence: “That Cas?” “Yeah, straight to voicemail, again.” “Yeah, well, we gave him the heads-up on Chuck and Lilith, so what else are we supposed to do?”

15.06 Golden Time

Cas mentions Dean wistfully to someone during small talk: “I had a friend who always praised fishing for its meditative qualities. Wish I found it more relaxing.”

Sam comments on Dean’s lack of motivation: “You know what, Dean? Ever since God got back, you’ve been acting like there’s nothin’ we can do, like nothin’ matters. But we can do this. Man, this matters.” “And that’s why you’re here to kick it in the ass.”

While on a case, Cas is forced to use the Winchesters’ phone number to back up his fake FBI identity. When the sheriff calls, Dean asks to speak to his agent. Cas groans, not wanting to talk: “Hello.” “Cas, Sam’s been tryin’ to call you.” “I know.” “Did you check his messages?” “Nope.” “Right, smart. Why would you? Look, I don’t know if you care or not, but, uh... God—Chuck—is back on the board, so watch yourself. And check your damn messages.” Cas is visibly agitated when Dean hangs up.

While Cas is helping Melly find her son, she thanks him for helping her and recognizes the frustration he’s feeling as burnout: “I needed to step away.” “Burnout’s a bitch, right?” “Yeah. My colleagues and I, we, uh... I guess you could say we had a falling out with management. Well, and each other.” 15.07 Last CallDean goes off on his own after seeing Sam and Eileen happy together, and Sam calls out his odd behavior: “Just hold on. Slow down.” “No, I’m good. I’m good.” “You’re good? What does that mean, you’re—“ “It means I gotta, I gotta get outta here, okay? I just, I gotta... I’m gonna take a drive, clear my head.” “Alone?” “Yeah, you know, you and Eileen, you guys are having fun. I don’t wanna spoil that, you know?”

Cas calls Dean and leaves a message, frustrated that he isn’t picking up: “Dean, I need you to call me back. Sam is hurt, and I... WHERE ARE YOU?”

When Dean returns, he and Cas share an awkward moment, and Cas has difficulty looking Dean in the eye.

15.08 Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven

Cas feels uneasy about visiting hell to speak to Michael, and Dean is condescending toward him, implying that he’s a coward and/or useless: “Cas, if you wanna stay here, why don’t you stay here?” Cas responds by angrily glaring at him.

Dean cuts his hand to provide blood for a spell, and Cas offers to heal his wound, despite the fact that his powers are waning and it’s difficult for him to use them: “Here, allow me...” “Thanks.”

Rowena recognizes the tension between Dean and Cas, who are avoiding looking at each other. She sees right through their denial and gives them advice, encouraging them to make up: “What am I picking up from you two? A wee tiff? Tell your Auntie Rowena.” “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” “Boys... fix it! I don’t have many regrets, but the few I do still haunt me. Making Napoleon so short was just bitchy, telling Mick Jagger he had no future when I dumped him, and, well, everything with dear Fergus. Then one day you die, you go to hell, they make you queen, and... you can’t make it right. So fix it!”

Dean and Cas continue to avoid eye contact while they’re in the kitchen discussing Michael.

15.09 The Trap

When Dean tries to go after Sam, Cas stops him, surprising Dean with his anger: “Dean, will you stop? Just stop being so stupid.” “What?” In Purgatory, Dean suggests splitting up, but Cas refuses, frustrated. Dean reluctantly agrees.

Cas expresses condolences to Dean after they find out Benny is dead, and it leads to a spat: “Well, this place will bring that out in you. Guilt. It was my fault the Leviathan got out. It was my fault we were here the first time. I carry that guilt every day.” “I know you’re sorry, Cas. About Bel, about Mom.” “I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you. You just refused to hear it.” “Sorry I brought it up. Maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us.” “You didn’t give me a choice. You couldn’t forgive me, and you couldn’t move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn’t stop me.”

When the Leviathan capture Cas, Dean is upset and tries to find him. Afraid that he might lose Cas forever, tearfully he apologizes to him through prayer: “Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it’s not too late. I should’ve stopped you. You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know... I know that it’s, it has just always been there. And when things go bad, it just... it comes out. And I can’t... I can’t stop it. No matter how... how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it. And... and I... I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I’m sorry it took me so long... I’m sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I’m... I’m so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me.”

Dean is elated when he finds Cas alive. He pulls Cas in for a tight hug. He tries to apologize again: “Okay, Cas, I need to say something.” “You don’t have to say it. I heard your prayer.”

15.10 The Heroes’ Journey

Dean has a dream sequence in which he tap dances to “Let’s Misbehave” by Cole Porter. He dances with a lamp and blows it a kiss, then dances on top of the map table while enveloped in light. Sam teases Dean about his relationship with Cas as Dean is holding Garth’s son, who is also named Castiel: “This Cas keeps looking at me weird.” “So kinda like the real Cas.”

At the end of the episode, we see Garth dancing with his wife, and Dean says, “You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.”

15.11 The Gamblers

When the Winchesters return home to find that Jack is back, Dean takes Jack’s face in his hand and looks hard at Cas, who gives him a kind smile.

15.12 Galaxy Brain

Dean and Cas share a friendly drink while talking about Jack’s return.

15.13 Destiny’s Child

Cas displays a deep understanding of Dean’s character while conversing with Jack about Mary’s death: “You know, Dean, he feels things more acutely than any human I’ve ever known, so it’s possible he could work through this. One day he may explode and let it all out, and then breathe deeply and move on.” “How long will that take?” “I don’t know.”

15.15 Gimme Shelter

At a faith-based group gathering, Castiel recounts his experience breaking away from Heaven’s authority: “I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond The Plan. And then, of course, when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed, something amazing. I... I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.” 15.16 Drag Me Away (From You)Sam remarks on how odd it is for Cas to leave for no apparent reason (because Dean did not tell him): “Cas just bailed, I guess. He’s didn’t say anything to you about why he left?” “Not really.” “And you guys didn’t get into a fight or something?” “It’s just Cas being Cas.” “Right.”

15.18 Despair

Cas decides to go with Dean instead of staying with Sam and Jack. When running away from Death, Cas leads a wounded Dean to safety: “I’ve got you.”

When Dean blames himself for the predicament they’re in, Cas realizes that he can save Dean by summoning The Empty, and uses his final moments to tell Dean how he truly sees him: “I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what... what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.” “What’re you talkin’ about, man?” “I know... I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken. You’re... you’re daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that’s... that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, but I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.” “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” “Because it is. I love you.” “Don’t do this, Cas. Cas...” “Goodbye, Dean.” “What?”

After Cas is gone, Dean sits on the floor and sobs into his hands, ignoring a call from Sam.

15.19 Inherit the Earth

Sam and Dean offer to go along with Chuck’s story and kill each other to bring everyone back, and Dean mentions Cas specifically: “I’ll kill Sam. Sam will kill me. We’ll kill each other. Okay? You pick. But first, you gotta put everything back the way it was. The people, the birds, Cas. You gotta bring him back.”

When Lucifer tricks Dean with a fake phone call from Cas, he rushes to the door as fast as he can to let Cas in. After stripping Chuck of his powers, Chuck assumes they will kill him, but Dean refuses: “Is this where you kill me? I mean, I could never think of an ending where I lose, but this... after everything that I’ve done to you, to die at the hands of Sam Winchester, of Dean Winchester, the ultimate killer. It’s kinda glorious.” “Sorry, Chuck.” “What? What?” “See, that’s not who I am. That’s not who we are.”

15.20 Carry On

Dean asks Sam what’s bothering him after noticing he looks sad: “I’m just... I’m thinkin’ about Cass, you know? Jack. If they could be here.” “Yeah. Yeah, no, I think about ‘em, too. You know what? That pain’s not gonna go away. Right? But if we don’t keep livin’, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothin’.”

As Dean is dying, he tells Sam how much he has looked up to him: “I’m so proud of you, Sam. You know that? I’ve always looked up to you. Man, when we were kids, you were so damn smart. You never took any of dad’s crap. I never knew how you did that. And you’re stronger than me. You always have been. ... I love you so much, my baby brother.”

Bobby explains to Dean how Heaven has been improved: “Heaven ain’t just relivin’ your golden oldies anymore. It’s what it always shoulda been—everyone happy, everyone together. ... It ain’t just Heaven, Dean. It’s the Heaven you deserve, and we’ve been waitin’ for ya.”

When Bobby mentions Cas, Dean is pleasantly surprised. “Jack did all that?” “Well, Cas helped.” Dean smiles, and Bobby raises his eyebrows knowingly. “It’s a big new world out there. You’ll see.” Dean smiles wider.

#destiel #deancas #dean x castiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #spn #meta #castiel x dean

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snowyseba · 5 years

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Attention

Summary: Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. With how busy Steve was lately, you were feeling neglected. When all else failed, you decided to take a more unconventional approach, but maybe you pushed Steve a little too far. This is my first attempt at a dark!fic, so let me know how I did, or if you’d like to read more of this kind of thing in the future.

Just in time for Halloween, here’s my entry for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor 5,500 follower #athousandwords celebration! Congratulations, Roo, you deserve all the followers for those marvelous stories you write! I’m so happy for you! If y’all haven’t already, you should absolutely check out Roo’s Masterlist for all kinds of amazing dark!fics.

Warnings: dark!Steve, non-con/dub-con, possessive Steve, jealous Steve, swearing, unprotected sex, Steve is incredibly out of character. This is a dark fic. I cannot stress that enough. Strictly 18+.

Word Count: 2.2k

Steve had been busy lately, not spending as much time with you as you would have liked. This happened every now and then, especially before a big mission. You understood that he couldn’t help it, but that didn’t mean you liked it. For the past month, you had barely seen your boyfriend, even though you shared an apartment together. He was so wrapped up in researching and planning for the latest mission that he wasn’t even coming home for meals anymore.

He missed your weekly date nights, something he had never done before, and it stung. At first, he’d call you or break the news to you in person, promising to make it up to you. Now, though, he’d send you a quick apologetic text, and you soon grew to expect them. You would have talked to him about it, but how were you supposed to do that when you barely saw him? The last thing you wanted was to start a fight in front of the team, so during the rare occasions that your paths overlapped throughout the day, you tried your best to prevent the frustration and tension you were harboring from showing.

You missed your boyfriend, and none of your attempts to get him to ease up even a little bit on work had been successful. Missing him and desperate for any kind of attention, you decided that you might have to take matters into your own hands. Waiting for Steve to come around was getting exhausting. It was going to take something drastic to shock yourselves out of this pattern you’d fallen into.

Despite his friendly and open demeanor, Steve was extremely possessive of you. He would always grip you just a little tighter in the presence of other men, not afraid to glare at any who’s eyes lingered on you a little too long. You were his. You knew just how to push his buttons to get a rise out of him. It didn’t show with the other Avengers, but that’s because he didn’t perceive them as a threat; they knew you were with him, and they always respected that. Not like you were interested in anyone besides Steve, anyway, but you were pretty sure that if you approached them with your problem, they’d be more than willing to help out.

A few days later, with the help of Wanda and Nat, your plan was in motion. You smoothed over the fabric of your skirt, shorter than you’d usually wear, but you were going to do everything you could to get a rise out of Steve. This outfit had to get his attention. You picked a blouse you knew Steve loved, tucking it in, and unbuttoning it just enough so that if you bent over, the lace of your bra peeked out. A pair of heels, a choker, and the diamond studs Steve bought you for your last anniversary were the finishing touch. You had to admit, you looked good.

Sauntering downstairs, you found Bucky and Sam in the kitchen. Wanda texted you on your way down, saying she and Nat would meet you there in a few minutes. Steve was exactly where you expected him to be; seated at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee in one hand as he immersed himself in the stack of papers in front of him, surrounded by folders he had yet to open. A pang of uncertainty and guilt bloomed in your stomach. Maybe you were taking this a little too far, but you suppressed the thought.

“Morning boys,” you hummed, giving Sam a coy smile as you purposely brushed against Bucky while helping yourself to some coffee. Steve, however, you completely ignored. If he wasn’t going to pay any attention to you, then he was going to get the exact same treatment.

“M-morning, Y/N,” Bucky stammered, taking in what you were wearing.

“Well don’t you clean up nice. I heard you’re having a girls day?” Sam was eyeing you carefully, almost as if he was catching on to what you were doing.

“Thanks, Sammy. Yup, I think Nat, Wanda and I are going out. Superhero life is great and all, but I need a break.” You grinned, batting your eyelashes at Sam as Steve cleared his throat at that particular nickname, finally looking up from the pile of papers.

His eyes found yours and he flashed you a warning look before his gaze traveled down to your outfit, his eyes focused on the lace of your bra that was just barely peeking out from behind your shirt, how dangerously low you had unbuttoned it. There was a reason it was his favorite out of all your shirts. When he realized just how short that tight faux leather skirt was, he had to restrain himself from grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you back to your shared apartment.

“Oh, morning, Steve. Didn’t see you there,” you feigned innocence, taking a sip of your coffee, loving the feeling of his eyes on you.

Steve's brow furrowed, shocked at your response. He swallowed thickly, jaw clenched as he wrestled with his thoughts. Since when did you dress like this? Since when did you call Sam ‘Sammy’? He never wanted to be that controlling boyfriend, but he hated knowing that you’d be going out dressed like that without him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d almost think you were doing this on purpose.

Before he could say anything, though, Nat and Wanda entered the room, their eyes on Steve rather than you, but you were sure part of that was due to their desire to see Steve lose his cool. He was normally so levelheaded, but all that went out the window when it came to you. No one had quite the hold over him that you did. “Ready, Y/N?”

“Ready!”

You set your mug down in the sink, grabbing your purse. Before leaving, you made sure to kiss Bucky’s cheek and give Sam’s bicep a gentle squeeze. You could hear Steve’s sharp intake of breath, but to him, you said nothing, barely even glancing at him on your way out. You didn’t miss the way his arms crossed over his chest straining the fabric of his shirt, his features flushing with anger. “Bye boys. Don’t bother waiting up, we’ll be home late.”

Although you couldn’t see it, you could feel Steve glaring at your back as you left. You’d be in trouble when you got home, that much was clear, but you weren’t quite done teaching Steve a lesson yet.

As you left, your phone vibrated. It was a text from Steve.

You knew you were in trouble just from the tone of the text. But you decided to see how far you could push it. His text went ignored, something you’d normally never do. You loved pleasing Steve, but with how much he’d been ignoring you lately, he deserved a taste of his own medicine.

You got home late, well after midnight. The apartment was dark and you figured Steve had gone to sleep. Knowing him, he’d have to be up early tomorrow, so he wouldn’t have waited up anyway. Maybe you had underestimated his ability to compartmentalize.

You didn’t realize just how wrong you were. What you didn’t notice, was the figure that slowly stood from the living room armchair, approaching with all the stealth of a trained agent. Out of nowhere, a hand suddenly wrapped around your throat, forcing you backward pinning you against the door before you even have a chance to take your shoes off. The breath left your lungs and you could feel your heart hammering in fear.

Standing in front of you, tightening his grip on your throat to keep you immobile, was Steve Rogers. He was pissed. He was fuming. That much was obvious. Anger rolled off him in palpable waves. His muscles were tensed, as if ready for a fight, and in the darkness, you could see the scowl on his face. “What the hell has gotten into you lately?”

“Well, definitely not you,” you retorted. “Funny, I could ask you the same thing.”

“Y/N,” he warned, grip on your neck tightening ever so slightly, now starting to inhibit your breathing. Whether he was doing it intentionally or not, his message was clear; you’re really pushing your luck. “I’ll repeat myself one more time. What. The. Hell,” his knee was between your legs now, roughly spreading them apart, “has gotten into you. Flirting with Sam? With Bucky? Right in front of me as if was invisible. I’m not that scrawny boy from Brooklyn anymore, doll. You don’t get to ignore me. I’m just as good as Bucky Barnes. Better. I’m Captain America, doll, do you know how many people would kill to be where you are right now?”

“Oh, so you did notice then,” you tried to resist the urge to roll your eyes, knowing it would only get you in more trouble.

Before you fully realized what Steve was doing, his hand moved from your neck to your waist, and he hoisted you up over his shoulder, gripping your ass tightly. He took the stairs two at a time, not even bothering to turn on a light. It would only delay him. “You really are a fuckin’ brat, you know that, Y/N? You know how hard I work to keep you safe? To keep the world safe?”

He dumped you onto the bed unceremoniously, stepping back and waving his hands with a slight shrug of his tensed shoulders. “Well, Y/N?”

“Oh, you’re keeping me safe? Sure, Steve. That’s why you’ve all but ignored me for the past month.”

He stalked closer to you, standing at the foot of the bed, towering over you menacingly, his jaw clenched, fists balled at his side as he took a deep breath. “Oh, I ignored you? You think I didn’t notice you flirting with every single man in your midst? You think I didn’t see how you watched me while you kissed Bucky’s cheek? I saw everything. And you know what I think? I think you’re a goddamn brat who needs to learn her place. I don’t care how busy I am, or how unfair you think I’m being.”

Steve’s hands were on you then, gripping your hips tightly, yanking you towards him, letting you fall back against the bed. One hand gripped both your wrists above your head as the other found its way between your legs. When his fingers found your core unobstructed, he let out a dangerous huff. “No panties, princess? You think you can just wear whatever you want? I don’t think so. You belong to me, princess. Only I get to see your pretty little pussy. Only I get to touch you,” his thumb brushed against your clit, just enough to elicit a low whine. “You’re mine. Say it, doll. Who do you belong to?”

When you didn’t answer immediately, he gave your clit a sharp slap, the stinging instinctively making you try to close your legs. “I don’t fucking think so,” Steve growled. “You’ll keep your legs open and accept your punishment until you answer me. Who the fuck do you belong to?”

You could feel your heart beating like it was trying to jump out of your chest. Your skin felt like it was on fire with even the slightest touch, and your cunt was throbbing in a combination of pain and need that was entirely new. The rational part of your brain said that Steve was going too far, that this was a terrifying new side of Steve that you hadn’t known existed and that you should be afraid. Maybe you had pushed him too far, but the sudden feeling of his lips against the nape of your neck, the sound of fabric ripping as he tore your shirt open, well it was enough to chase any rational thoughts out of your head.

Again, you took too long to answer, and again, you felt the sharp sting of his hand, this time making you cry out in pain. “Steve, stop,” you gasped. “Please.”

“Stop? You want me to stop?” Steve’s grip on your hands tightened as he ran a knuckle down your cheek before taking your nipple in his mouth, grazing the bud with his teeth. “You’re the one who started this, princess. You’re the one parading around showing off those perfect tits, not even wearing panties. You wanted my attention, doll? You’ve got it, and I’m going to give you everything you wanted and more.”

Steve pulled away from you for just a moment, going to the bedside table to retrieve something. Every fiber of your being was telling you to run, but you were petrified. Steve was a super soldier, and you were just a human. Trying to escape would only make things worse.

You felt it, rough and scratchy against your wrists before you could see what Steve was doing. Rope. “Oh, princess, I’m just getting started. By the time I’m done with you, no one will ever doubt who you belong to, not even you.”

#athousandwords #dark!steve #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #dark!steve rogers imagine

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infinitestarsintheskye · 4 years

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One last game of Tag? Agents of Shield #PartingShot

I was tagged by amazing @besidemethewholedamntime, thank sooooo much lovely!

With this tag game, I want to know the answers to these five (5) questions and then tag 5 or more mutuals. Wasn’t tagged but want to join? Join in ! Everyone is an essential part of this fandom! Name from @ agent.of.shield_ on Instagram ( @agents-of-fangirling ) who had a great idea to post a picture of yourself with a drink (or just a drink) and tag it #partingshot as a finale goodbye to the show (which I also am going to post tomorrow on IG).

Where were you in life when you first started to watching AoS?

Thanks to some screenshots that have SOMEHOW survived through my icloud through my ipod touch and god knows how many other phones, I can give you the answer to the MINUTE which is actually really quite creepy. I started watching AoS at 8:05pm on the 27th of September 2013 about five minutes into the UK premiere of the pilot. That’s right boys I’ve been here since the VERY BEGINNING. I have my own personal love letter going up on Thursday where I go into it all a bit more, but I was 15 years old when I watched that and I don’t think it’s being overdramatic to say that it has changed my life. I was just about to sit my first round of high school exams (Nat 5′s if you’re nasty) and I just fell head over heels for these characters, completely and utterly. 7 years later and I still feel the same way about them. I was excitable and naive about life at 15 and I literally grew up with this show.

Where are you now?

Now I am 22 years old, I just finished my degree (!!!!!) in English Literature this past May/June, and am in the process of applying for my masters. AoS is honestly a comfort blanket for me now, I know these characters so well, they’ve been with me through the most awful times, through experiences that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies, through my absolute rollercoaster of my mental health.

What character development arc (or storyline in general) did you love the most?

Fitz. From the second that boy opened his mouth and I heard the Scottish accent come out he was planted firmly and securely in my heart. His entire arc over this show is insane and incredible and truly a testament to IDC and his acting chops. If you look at Fitz now from where he started the change in him is incredible, but also the core, the goodness of him, is still there. I could go on for hours about how much I love him, honestly. Watching him die was honestly one of the worst things I have ever watched. I still cannot watch it, it hurts too much. I have been rooting for FitzSimmons practically since day one, and just I cannot even put into words how much I love them and how much I HOPE THEY FINALLY GET SOME BLOODY PEACE!!!! They are both so deserving of it. I’m so excited for their future and I’m sure I’ll edit this after the finale and put some edits in about the information gleamed from certain leaked promo photos, but all I’ll say is, those scenes will fully and utterly be the end of me.

What will you miss the most?

Everything. I will miss every tiny aspect of this show. It has been a constant in my life for 7 years and I’m going to find it very hard to not have that constant presence, the constant cycle of new seasons and comic con and theories and spec fics and all that wonderful stuff around me anymore. I have loved participating more than I really ever have this last season and it makes me sad that I didn’t do it for all 7 (life happened). I will miss the sleepless nights before I can watch an ep, I will miss watching new eps, I will miss coming onto tumblr and just screaming into the abyss right as all of you lovely US viewers are either in your beds or are about to go to bed. I will miss being fuming EVERY SINGLE YEAR that I’m not at ComicCon, and just scrambling around for the absolute deluge of press that happens then. Just all of it. Everything that comes with witnessing the live release of this show. It’s honestly all a part of me now, of who I am as a person.

Favourite quote?

Oh I’m gonna cheat and put two because I cannot chose. Simmons’s law of thermodynamics speech hit me RIGHT IN THE FEELIES, it still does.

I like to think about the first law of thermodynamics, that no energy in the universe is created and... none is destroyed. That means that every bit of energy inside us, every particle will go on to be a part of something else. Maybe live as a dragonfish, a microbe, maybe burn in a supernova ten billion years from now. And every part of us now was once a part of some other thing - a moon, a storm cloud, a mammoth. A monkey. Thousands and thousands of other beautiful things that were just as terrified to die as we are. We gave them new life. Good one, I hope.

As someone who is scared of death (we’re getting real this evening) this speech is the MOST WONDERFUL BALM. It is just so unspeakably beautiful and comforting and oh my god what a wonderful thought to have right when you think you’re about to go. I will forever hold it very dear in my heart. Also,Fitz’s little addition of ‘a monkey’ makes me smile and cry in equal measures.

Secondly, it’s another Simmons quote:

The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.

So, this quote came into my life right when I needed to hear it most. My mental health was not what I would call great, and it just helped. I sobbed when I heard it for the first time. Fully sobbed. How wonderful is that sentiment? It quickly became something I would just tell myself and it was my phone background for like 3 years. The comfort and solitude that quote has brought me is truly immeasurable.

Thank you so much for tagging me Rebecca, even though I am now an emotional wreck, but I kind of expected that haha.

I’m going to tag a couple of lovelies @rathxritter @valentinaonthemoon and @daisylincs

#skye rambles #parting shot #gonna go be a big blubby mess now #but rlly thanks for the tag rebecca this was really fun if not EMOTIONAL

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ddaenqu · 5 years

Text

Cogs

pairings: killer!jungkook x reader

themes: mature, angst, killer AU, yandere AU

warnings: possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, mentions of violence, toxic behavior/relationship, mentions of manipulation, threatening, non-con kiss, death, implications of stockholm syndrome

based off the prompt: “Say that one more time and I’ll make sure you can never walk again”

You thought dating Jeon Jungkook would be like a walk in the park. Easy, free, and fun—made you feel young.

Not this.

You thought it would be going for walks at the crack of dawn or maybe in the afternoon when classes were finished, holding each other with a special warmth and talking about your days, not discounting the future of your relationship. You thought it was going to the mall, or anywhere really, and shopping for clothes for one another. You thought it would be being close to each other and being understanding, not always agreeing, but being comforting when a person needs it. And maybe, if you were lucky enough, having the idea of marriage instilled.

It was anything but that. All those dreams and hopes of becoming this cute couple was shattered within moments, only a week into the new relationship, your heart very fragile at the time.

Instead, it was seeing Jungkook drag a dead boy into a dumpster, the black leather gloves he was wearing were suffering in blood that you were sure, at the time, the liquid was seeping through the material. He tugged at his gloves when he finally heard the body hit the bottom of the dumpster and dumping a few trash bags covering it—him.

His eyes were slightly widened, dull as if you were staring at a toy doll, and hungry. His tongue poked one side of his cheeks, a bump appearing as a result, as he pulls of the gloves by the fingers, getting some of the red substance on his fingertips.

“Jungkook—” you had stopped yourself from saying the wrong things, so many phrases and words racking up like piles in your mind, things you want to say, but your mouth stays shut. You wanted it to stay shut. Your hands were freezing, shaking against the fabric of your pants.

He paused, thinking. Then, resumed with his task and finally managed to pull the gloves off without more blood sticking to his fingers, and shoved them into the pocket of his hoodie. He shoved the bloody gloves into the front pocket of the black hoodie you’ve worn many, many times.

He looked up at you. His eyes were no longer dull, not a single corner of his face was dark. He was just bright, with brilliant eyes that you had longed to see everyday, a beautiful and natural shine glittered throughout them.

“Sorry our date cut short,” he spoke and walked towards you with short strides, his hands gripping onto your arms that settled—stuck to your sides.

Our date, you remember; that simple idea of coming to a restaurant that had just opened up, a pizza parlor mixed with an ice cream parlor. This was going to be yours and his fifth date. That was, until, a classmate from one of your classes had decided to barge in. A harmless boy with a boxy-like smile with defined cheekbones.

“Why?” you ask meekly, you felt as if you were choking on cotton and your heart failing to slow. “Why—how could you—” you sputtered and took a step back from his figure, just as he was going to engulf you in a hug.

“What do you mean ‘why’?” he lamented, his expression is confused, his lips are pulled into a slight pout. His eyes are trained on your shaking form. “Because he was bothering you, of course. Didn’t you think so?”

He took another step towards you, the sound echoing through the alleyway. In reply, you scooted back more, the space between you both was suffocating.

He looked concerned, scared, angry, and so very confused. All these emotions flicking through, until it stopped on one. Sadness.

A kicked puppy, that’s what he looked like. As if you had ripped his heart out of his own chest, tears falling down his face as his adam’s apple bobbed, you could see he was trying not to sob.

“You don’t hate me? Right? You wouldn’t hate me, you couldn’t,” he whimpered, a delusional tone and state controlling his body. “You won’t hate me. You love me. Say that you love me.”

“Shut up,” you cried with a soft voice, your feelings were all over the place. The way your body ached to run away, but your heart yearned for his love and affection, wanting nothing but to wipe those tears off his flawless face. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

You should be running, screaming your head off, calling the police. And yet, you don’t. It’s just his face clouding your mind, overwhelming you. The love you have for him is still there, and you can’t get rid of it.

His hands fell onto your shoulders, his thumbs dug into your skin despite the jacket you were wearing. You could feel that he was trembling, uncontrollably so.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered softly, his hands moved to your face. He could feel your reluctance—the way you were rejecting him when he tried to force your head to look up at his.

“Stop,” you cried, trying to fight against him. “I didn’t want this, stop please.”

“Shh,” he wipes the tears falling from your face. It takes every fiber in your body to not gag, fully knowing that there is someone’s dried blood on his tips. “Baby, look—”

“Don’t call me that.” You look at him terrified, evidently displeased with the use of the nickname, your hands are trying to push his chest, trying to push him away. “We—you can’t say that.”

He hesitates and his body tenses. The silence following after.

“What do you mean?” he asks incredulously. “What do you mean I can’t say that?” You can feel the anger drop from his words, the aggressive edge threatening for blood to spill. Hopefully, not yours.

You let out a shuddering gasp. “I can’t,” you begin and avoid his eyes, “I can’t be with you. This is—It’s so wrong, on so many levels, Jungkook.”

“But you love me,” he mumbles. His eyes are dead, his skin looks more pale than it has ever looked before. The raw feeling of disappointment that he emitted made your own body shudder involuntarily.

“We’re done,” you pry his hands off of you, feeling his hands for the last time; calloused yet smooth at the tips. “You’re crazy.”

The last time, it rings in your ears, a sense of detachment growing. Regret pooling at the bottom of your stomach, was this the right choice?

After what seemed like forever, his hands engulfed your own with a vice-like grip, sliding down to your wrists and applying the utmost pressure, causing you to wince.

“Jungkook, stop—”

“Say that one more time,” he seethed, “Do it.”

His eyes are wide, sprinkled with white flecks and painted in brown. His face is red, flushed to the tips of his ears.

“And I’ll make sure you can never walk again.”

He would kill you.

He’s not afraid to kill you.

You can feel his petrifying gaze burn a hole though your face, his eyes erratically scanning every corner or small eye movement of yours. His fingers slide up to your cheeks, purposely dragging against your collarbones and neck tantalizingly, his nails are digging into your skin by the time he reached your face, as he constrained your head to move forward, his nose almost touching yours and his breath hitting your lips.

You let out a silent yelp once you finally understood what he was doing, clawing at his chest, his arms, just anything to get you away from him.

“Please,” he whispers and in seconds, his soft yet chapped lips are on yours, pushing against them as he tries to further the kiss.

It’s forced and it hurts, so very much.

It reminds you of when you both had your very first kiss on your second date, how he asked for permission to hold you as he kissed you. His hands caressing your face, then your sides, then your hands before interlocking them with his. It was so pure and innocent, everything about it was ideal—ideal in every way.

Kiss him, your body is telling you. You want to kiss him. You want to be able to hug him and tell him that you love him dearly.

Maybe you’re just as crazy as him, the thought sticks to the back of your mind. Maybe something in your head was broken like his, the cogs are broken, silently falling to the ground.

You pull away from the kiss and you can feel his saliva against your lips, his own are just as wet as yours.

“Don’t hate me,” he mumbles and he kisses your collarbone, sloppy wet kisses scorched your skin.

You’re just as crazy as him.

Your hands go up to his head that was invested in leaving marks, pulling him away from your neck.

“I don’t hate you,” you reply weakly, your last bit of restraint and morals are breaking apart, shedding like layers. “I don’t hate you, I love you.”

His face brightens effortlessly, his beautiful bunny-like smile proudly showing, but his eyes are more than hopeful and happy—they’re ecstatic.

You felt a pair of arms circle around your shaking form. They were firm, feeling like a safe space, you moved your head so you could fit yourself into his warm chest.

The memories of when you and him were together before this flash through your mind like a movie, a slow and painful movie that dragged on. You didn’t just cry for yourself, you cried for Jungkook. You cried for your parents who didn’t know what was happening and for his parents, wherever they might be right now.

You cried and cried.

Like life flashing before death, living had never felt so painful.

“You don’t hate me,” he breathed out in relief, his head resting atop yours. His heartbeat was erratic, and yet, soothing to your ears.

You didn’t want this, but you’ve already chosen.

(feedback is greatly appreciated!)

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r-ahh-mi · 5 years

Text

He // Chapter 5

Prompt II Chapter 1 II Chapter 2 II Chapter 3 II Chapter 4

Pairing: Rami Malek x OC (Beth)

Warnings: Smoking & swearing,

Word Count: 1.9k

Tag: @hazeleyedbeth @sassystrawberryk @amcquivey @cleopatra-knowles @lovelymalekk @mezzomercury @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @xmxisxforxmaybe @soothysayer

Here we were. Two people who once adored the other with such intensity and passion and love that it was nearly vomit inducing for others to watch how incredibly in love they were, and now we were like strangers--no, worse than strangers. Strangers can at least share a little laugh, friendly greeting, or smile and still feel comfortable about that, but having him just be near me was sending a chill up my neck that was uncomfortable for me to dwell in. Thank god for the square that was nearing its end as it sat between my index and middle finger. Surely it was the one thing to calm my nerves right now, but even then I hated how I felt. I hated how much this boy used to make me feel loved, welcomed, and safe, and now he made me feel awkward, cold, and, all together, just a numerous amount of unpleasant feelings.

Rami soon joined me in taking in deeps breaths of our own cigarettes. The smoke drifted from his lips as his chest would cave in and his body would release whatever he was so needing to let go of. The fumes were tickling my nose as I smelled his favorite brand of menthol's drift through the air. He was always one for the minty cigarettes.

*Flashback*

“Ya know, the better your cigarettes taste the harder they are to kick down the road.” Rami shot me a smirk as he inhaled a hit of smoke as I was desperately clinging my black suede jacket against my body as the unexpected snowfall began to pour over Indiana, sending harsh wind directly into my face.

Just then Rami exhaled and looked directly over at me. “And who says I plan on quitting?”

I shrugged, “I guess you’re right, but I for sure know I will quit one day.”

“Oh yeah.” Rami cocked his eyebrow as we both slowed our previous walking pace to a halt. “Why would you want to quit?”

“For my child.”

Rami’s eyes widened as his lips parted and I could tell he was freaking out. “No! No! No Rami, I’m not saying i’m--god, no I'm not pregnant. I was strictly speaking about the future when I want kids, not right now.”

Instantly his tensed body relaxed back down as his shoulders visibly fell back into their usual place. “Oh thank god. I was--Oh fuck I was freaking out there for a second,” Rami said, running a hand through his thick curls that were beginning to dampen due to the large snowflakes.

“I’m sorry.” Though I was truly sorry, his reaction was priceless and caused me to elicit a few laughs along my path to giving him a side hug which he gladly returned.

“God damn it woman.” Rami mumbled, shaking his head playfully as he smiled while holding the smoke between his lips as he fished around for another cigarette in the front pocket of his jeans.

After the nerves and laughter had left, we continued on walking the path set in between our schools academic buildings and dorm buildings. The route was scenic and park-like, making it feel comfortable and relaxing as the two of us strolled, hand in hand, until we reached the locked main door to my dorm building. Rami had graciously offered to walk me home after my class seeing as I got done with class and he got done with his part time job at the same time that night. We somehow turned the evening into a date night. Spending way too much time getting high in the park set about a block away from the building my class was held in. I suppose it didn’t help that we ended up making out on a bench as well--who knows how long that lasted.

“So kids, huh?”

I looked over at him curiously, “What about them?”

“How many do you want? One? Two? Twelve?”

I laughed at his absurdity, “ Did you really just jump from two to twelve?”

Rami’s shoulders jumped up as he let out a short chuckle while he dragged his eyes over to mine as he started on his second cigarette. “Answer my question.”

“At least two.”

He nodded approvingly. “Why two?”

“I don’t want an only child. Only children grow up to be--well--odd.”

He couldn’t help but let exhale raspily with a cough to go with it as he attempted to contain the laughter that was combing through his dry throat. “Aren’t you an only child?”

“Yeah and look how odd I am!”

Rami nibbled on his bottom lip as he watched me. The harsh outdoor lighting was hitting my eyes rather harshly, making me squint and hold a hand across my vision in an attempt to give my eyes a break, but I wasn’t left to make due for long. Rami placed his hands around my waist, letting his fingers spread widely along my heavily clothed body as he turned us around so he was now facing the harsh light.

“I like two. Two is a good number,” Rami finished, letting a soft, boyish grin smother his lips.

I could tell he was thinking because of how quiet he was. Whatever it was it seemed pleasant as he stared at me dreamily, finishing off his cigarette and offering me the last inhale for the square before it was smaller than the size of a dime.

“What are you thinking about?”

In response, Rami bit his lip even harder as he flicked the butt onto the black top ground and then shook his head. “I don’t think you want to know.”

This peaked my curiosity. Of course I wanted to know. I wanted to know every little thought that floated into this dreamy boys brain no matter how awful or disgusting or sad it could be.

“Tell me.” My tone was soft as my hand came up to his coat covered arm, lovingly caressing it with my finger tips, up and down.

He pondered for a second. Weighing the pros and extreme con’s should I react in anyway that wasn’t positive. He was terrified of messing this up. Not just this conversation, but in general. This was one of those “too good to be true” situations that he was simply waiting to crash and burn, however the burn hadn’t come, at least not yet.

“Alright-”

“Yes! Tell me, tell me, tell me, te-”

Rami removed a hand from around my waist to press a finger to my lips, instantly making me go quiet.

“I’ll tell you, but you can’t think I'm weird or anything.”

“As if I don’t think you’re weird already?,” I scoffed playfully as my other hand worked its way up and around to the back of his neck. Feeling the damp ends of his hair through my gloves as I felt his neck relax back into my palm.

“I’ll shut up--just tell me.”

He nodded, blinking slowly. “I was just thinking of--uh--you know..having a family of my own.”

I was immensely confused. “And how is that weird? That’s not weird at all.”

“It is. Trust me it is.” Rami nodded, taking his eyes off of me to stare down at the small necklace wrapped around my neck, but I was quick to grab his attention as my hand moved from his neck to his chin, lifting it lightly.

“Tell me.”

He look scared. At that time I wasn’t sure of what, but now it was clear; one-thousand percent clear why and I would’ve been scared to say it to. I give him a lot of props for even bringing it up, but I suppose he must have felt that there was a large chance I would respond positively, despite how scared he was. And that is something that still makes my stomach bubble and my heart warm up, because, even though we hadn’t known each other very long at this point, he still was feeling exactly what I was feeling at that time too.

“I was thinking about having a family with you--now i know that’s crazy cause we’ve only been together six months, but I-”

My feelings were bursting with so much love for this boy that I had to stop this agonizing pain he was putting himself through with his ramblings and self doubt and self consciousness; my lips couldn’t move fast enough to his.

But that’s just how easy it was with him. It was never work to call what we had a relationship and it was never something that I felt I had to make time for or make sure I was doing right because he never made me second guess what I was doing. If we both worked and had class all day long, we took five minutes to see each other and just relish in one another. If we had a minor disagreement about something, then we took time to see the others point of view. It was easy, so fucking easy. But I guess that should’ve been a red glad for me. Nothing is quite that easy and flowing in life. It’s just impossible. Things will crack and break on their own time, but it absolutely will happen, that i’m sure of now, it’s just--I sort of had this..I don’t know… hope that maybe we could fix what we broke and glue or mend or--I don’t fucking know. Something! Anything to help put us back together, but that’s difficult when you can’t think of a single reason as to why things were broken in the first place or even what was broken.

“Beth...Beth..”

Finally, a loud cough pulled me back from my haze of past positive memories that were once floating through my brain.

“You okay?”

That voice. There it was again. I felt my breath pull sharply inside of my body, making my heart skip a beat or two as it raced back up to catch what it had lost.

I looked over at him with disbelief, not fully believing or trusting my mind that I had actually heard him say words to me, but he was looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer and I wasn’t sure my mind was capable at the moment of creating some sort of normal response.

I was correct in thinking this was as my lips parted to speak, but trembled furiously as if a sudden gust of cold had made my teeth chatter. Rami looked at me confused - he noted my reaction and I could see it in his eyes that he was wondering how we had gotten this way, just as I had thought the same exact thing for the tenth or so time tonight.

“Are you afraid of me or something?”

I shook my head quickly as he braved the distance between us and let his fingertips gently lay flat on my arm. He was attempting to comfort me; obviously my reaction was scaring him just as much as it was scaring me.

Rami quickly shifted his hand back to rest at his side as he brought his eyes back down to his shoes - they must be fascinating things you’d think by all the time he’s spent looking at them.

“I was just going to say that our order is probably ready.”

My lips formed into an ‘o’ shape as I realized the accuracy of his words which quickly made me dart inside the warm brick building.

#rami malek #ramimalek #rami malek fic #rami malek writing #rami malek x reader #rami malek x oc #rami malek fan fiction #rami malek angst #rami malek fluff

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hazelnmae · 5 years

Text

Lies Travel Faster: Chapter Four

Summary: Sophia Murphy’s life seems to be on the upswing when she takes a job with Birmingham’s notorious Shelby Company Ltd. But when she falls for her boss, CEO and ruthless gangster, Tommy Shelby, she finds herself wrapped up in a tangled web of danger and deceit. After all, lies travel faster than the truth.

Tags: Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character; Tommy/Assistant Trope (it’s a hill I’ll die on)

Warnings: angst; smut (in future chapters); violence; language; rape/non-con; death

CHAPTER 4 (read Chapter 3 or start at the beginning with Chapter 1)

“Well, I’m horribly under-dressed,” Sophie whispered as she sat down across from Ada in the tearoom. Her new friend just smiled in return–she wouldn’t dare criticize Sophie’s dress. Besides, she looked perfectly put together, even if a little casual for afternoon tea.

The table between them was adorned with lace cloth, fine china, and real silver tableware. It was the finest setting Sophie had ever seen and she was fully enamored by it; that is, until she spotted the food. Small cakes, dainty sandwiches, scones, and biscuits piled high on a silver tiered stand. It all made her mouth water.

The tea, on the other hand, just made her nervous.

In all these years in England, Sophie never acquired a taste for tea. The fact that she was now expected to partake in it with propriety during public ritual put her a bit on edge, as she didn’t want to offend anyone–least of all Ada. In fact, Sophie desperately wanted to impress her.

“I’m glad you could meet me here. I’ve been dying to get together since Polly told me all about you,” Ada said, looking Sophie up and down with a faint smile.

She hadn’t spent much time with Polly, but Sophie could only imagine what she may have said about her. Polly had spent a lot of time in the office lately, and while the two women had shared a few stories, they mainly bonded over snarky jokes and a mutual teasing of Tommy.

“Oh no, what did she say?” Sophie asked through a smile.

Ada dispelled her fears. “Just that you’re smart and kind, and not afraid to put my brother in his place.”

Ada’s smile was so genuine, it caught Sophie a bit off guard. She hadn’t seen such a freely happy smile on anyone, let alone a Shelby, since the morning she’d accepted the job. They had all been so consumed by the threat hanging over them, it’s almost like they’d forgotten how to smile–Sophie included.

“She said you chided Tommy for feeling sorry for himself. I can’t tell you how much he needs that,” Ada added, pouring tea from the ornate teapot that’d been placed between them on the table.

Ada passed the teapot over to Sophie. “Well, to be fair he did ask me to always be honest; so as far as I see it, it’s his own fault,” she laughed and caused the tea to slosh out of her small cup, leaving tiny droplets to stain the tablecloth.

“Our Tommy does have a tendency for self-loathing. He occasionally requires a bit of work, you know, to snap him back to reality–something that hasn’t come quite as regularly in the last year or so.” She added, “You know, he’s lucky to have you, I think.”

Sophie smiled at Ada’s use of ‘our Tommy.’ She knew Tommy had family, of course. She’d met most of them at least once and heard him speak of Charlie on several occasions. He’d even mentioned Grace. But, the idea of Tommy being considered so warmly seemed strange to her. He wasn’t cruel–she knew what that looked like, and it wasn’t Tommy–but she’d only known a hardened side of the man and couldn’t imagine him being particularly soft or loving. Even with his family.

“Polly also said you remind her of our mother,” Ada added, looking over her cup.

Sophie nearly choked on the sip she’d just taken. “Oh yeah, how so?”

“Well, I was so young when she passed that I don’t really remember her. I suppose that’s why I wanted so badly to spend some time with you.” Ada paused, thinking about her limited memories of her mother. “I’m not sure what Polly meant,” she added, forcing a smile.

“Well that’s alright. I’m not sure I want to know,” Sophie laughed, relaxing a bit.

They sat quietly for a few moments, each woman deep in thought.

Ada considered her new friend and how well she fit the Shelby clan–how grateful she was that Sophie was there in the office each day, keeping watch over Tommy.

Sophie thought about the tea, and how she wished it were coffee instead.

“What was your mother like?” Ada finally asked, resuming conversation.

“Well, she never wanted to be a mother. I only ever remember her being sad.” She studied a scone but decided she better wait for Ada’s cue to eat. “I think she was resentful that she didn’t get to live the life she wanted,” Sophie said sadly.

“And what life was that?” Ada asked.

“I actually have no idea–only that it wasn’t the one she had. She married my father out of necessity. Out of convenience. She agreed to have one child, but ended up with twins.”

“You’re a twin?” Ada asked, finally taking a sandwich off the platter.

“Mmm. Yes.” Sophie responded, “Henry, my brother, died in the war.”

Ada studied her face as Sophie finally picked up the scone she’d been eyeing. She was close with her own siblings but couldn’t imagine the bond between twins. Even considering how close they were, each Shelby child was also fiercely independent. They supported one another, but they had all become their own people. They’d all experienced the phases of life separate from one another. Had all grown into their own in interesting ways, influenced by one another, but not sharing in the experience in the way she imagined Henry and Sophie had.

“You know, the Gypsies believe twins are empathic–that they can feel one another’s pain.” Ada said, “My aunt would probably say you have special abilities.”

Sophie chuckled. “My father believed that too,” she said. “He wasn’t a cruel man, but he wasn’t kind either. I think it would have been worse for me if he hadn’t been constantly worried Henry would feel it. I suppose I should be grateful for that at least.”

Again, the two women settled into a comfortable silence as they sipped their tea and picked at the spread. They eventually spoke a bit more about the Shelby family, Sophie’s life in America, and the war. Before they’d known it, they’d sat so long talking that the tea had gone cold and most the other patrons had emptied out of the large, ornate room.

“I remember feeling so lucky they all came back,” Ada said of her brothers. She reached her hand across the small table to hold Sophie’s. “I’m so sorry you lost your brother.”

Sophie nodded and gave her a smile.

“Come to The Garrison tonight. The whole family will be there.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose,” Sophie responded.

“You’re not imposing if I invite you, Sophie. Besides, you need a family and we have a big one.”

Sophie smiled.

“You hate it don’t you?” Ada asked, nodding toward Sophie’s mostly full cup of cold tea, long ago neglected.

“I’m afraid I never found a taste for it,” Sophie said.

“Add a little of this. It’ll help,” Ada said as she reached across the table, the smile on her face growing wider, and handed Sophie a flask of whiskey. __________________

Tommy checked his pocket watch for the third time in five minutes. He seemed perpetually disappointed that time didn’t move any faster than it did. His family seemed happy enough, out enjoying their old haunts, but every public space would only cause Tommy anxiety until this business with Changretta was over.

And then Sophie arrived.

She spotted him across the pub, finishing a drink at the bar. Feeling confident for the first time in weeks, she took the opportunity to surprise him. She approached from behind, poked a couple of fingers in his back, and whispered in the most convincing Italian accent she could muster, “Maybe I should take you out right here, Shelby.”

Tommy, being Tommy, reacted immediately by reaching behind his back to grab her wrist and spin her around. He pressed her against the bar, one hand on her neck, the other anchoring his weight against her and propped on the edge of the bar.

“Jesus, Tommy, lighten up,” she said through a smirk. She turned her head to face Harry behind the bar and ordered two whiskeys.

Tommy didn’t move until the drinks arrived, placing both hands on the bar on either side of her and hanging his head slightly. When it arrived, Tommy raised his glass swiftly and swallowed the whole drink at once. He slammed the empty glass back on the bar and finally leaned against it beside her, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette.

Sophie sipped her drink as she watched him roll the cigarette between his lips back and forth, lighting it only after he was satisfied with the way it fit. She stared at those lips, full and pink but hardened and determined.

“I’m sorry I startled you,” she said, unable to pull her stare from his mouth.

Tommy just replied in a grunt as he sparked his cigarette, eyebrow raised.

They stood this way, shoulders touching, both leaning with backs against the bar, as the silence comfortably fell between them.

Tommy was the first to break it as he cleared his throat and said, “You look nice tonight.”

It was completely out of character for her to worry so much about her appearance–something almost unfair for a woman so naturally beautiful–but nonetheless, she had taken the time to attend to every last detail, including a bright red lip and two coats of mascara.

Her cheeks flushed and she smiled, grateful for the compliment.

“Have you danced yet?” he asked.

Sophie looked down at her drink, “No, but I would if you asked me.”

“Dance with me,” he said as he held out one hand and extinguished his cigarette in the crystal ashtray on the bar.

“That’s not asking,” she replied, taking the last sip of her drink and setting the empty glass on the bar. “But –” She nodded and took his hand anyway. They walked out onto the floor. Just as he moved to place his arm around her back, the music slowed.

“Oh, the music’s gone soft,” she said, turning to face the band.

“I prefer it this way,” Tommy replied, pulling her in closer.

And then, Tommy smiled. It wasn’t his typical smirk, but a full smile–a rarity, Sophie observed. A smile he reserved for only a few people, and even then, only a few situations. Sophie felt the blush bloom wider across her face, the heat rising in her cheeks. If Tommy saw it, he chose to ignore it.

They danced quietly for one full song, but as the second started up, so did the conversation.

“My family seems quite taken with you,” Tommy said.

“They’re lovely,” Sophie replied, glancing at the Shelby clan gathered around the table in the corner of the room. “Tommy, I’m not sure how I could ever thank you. These last few weeks,” she stammered, looking up to make eye contact with him.

“They were nothing,” he answered.

“That’s not true. It’s been–”

“Easy–” he cut her off. “–it’s been easy. Making you happy”

She wasn’t sure what to say in return, so she held her tongue and tried to keep her heart from racing. Just then, as if right on cue, the music picked up tempo again and Arthur tapped his brother on the shoulder, “Mind if I cut in, Tommy?”

“By all means,” Tommy answered, placing Sophie’s hand in his brother’s.

He took one last glance at her, eyes piercing through her as they so often did, unnerving her, then he headed back to his perch at the bar.

Arthur spun Sophie around before she could utter a single word and she found herself happily moving about the room, thoughts reeling in time with the music.

___________________

Arthur danced her around the pub until she grew dizzy. The alcohol, the heat in the Garrison, and the spinning all went straight to her head. When the song ended, they returned to Polly and Linda who sat around the table in the corner. Sophie begged Linda to have her baby soon, claiming she couldn’t stand any more dances with her husband. Linda just laughed in response, joking that Sophie wasn’t off the hook that easy–she’d be sure Sophie continued to dance with him even after the baby came, then asked Arthur to take her home.

The group watched them make their way toward the door.

Looking at Polly, Sophie asked, “Do you think we’ll ever find a love like that?”

“I’m sure of it,” Polly responded, adding, “We’re the two best catches in Birmingham after all”

As she returned to the table with a fresh drink, Ada butted into the conversation, “And what am I, chopped liver?”

“You’re the catch of London, dear” Polly replied through her sly smile.

“And good thing,” Sophie said, “I don’t think I could handle the competition if you lived in Birmingham all the time.”

Ada stifled a laugh, nearly spewing her drink across the table. “You don’t have to worry about me,” She scoffed, “it’s my brother who’s in love with you”

And with that, Sophie’s heart fell to her stomach. “What?”

“We’ve all noticed the way he looks at you” Ada added, slightly slurring her words now. She must be drunk, Sophie thought.

“Tommy and I are friends,” She retorted, sharply.

“Tommy Shelby has never been friends with a woman,” Ada teased.

Sweat broke out on her hands and chest as Sophie’s heart rate climbed. Tommy couldn’t be in love with her, could he? Certainly they got along, maybe even shared a bond, but she’d just assumed it was friendship.

Then again, she’d never been in love. She couldn’t fathom what it looked and felt like. She cared for Tommy, and he seemed to care for her, but nothing had gone any farther than two friends telling stories and sharing pieces of their lives.

They’d only known one another less than two months.

But why had she blushed while they danced earlier? What had he said that had made her feel embarrassed? Was that embarrassment? Was it something else?

Polly could sense the apprehension on her face. “You alright, love?” she asked.

“I, um–” Sophie stammered, “I think I just need some air.”

With that, she stood from her chair and hurried out the back of the pub and into the alley, ignoring Tommy’s eyes following her the whole way.

___________________

The night air was so crisp it almost knocked her back as she flung open the backdoor of the pub. She faltered a bit, having to catch her balance on a stack of crates just outside the door. But as it swung closed and drowned out the noise from the patrons inside, she finally felt a bit of relief and could consider Ada’s theory more carefully.

She’d spent the last few years lonely–not for romance, necessarily, but for any kind of connection with another person. Henry was the only real family she’d ever had. The only love she’d ever shared was with her brother, and their bond was broken when he died. She’d buried herself in the work until the end of the war, not caring whether she survived or not, knowing she had nothing to which to return. When she did make it, in the end, she’d found herself so horribly alone. She’d barely made it by, seeking something she wasn’t sure she’d ever find, until she met John that night in the very pub she was now running from.

What she did know was this: Tommy had helped fill the void in her heart, but she couldn’t fill the void in his. She could never replace Grace–even if he was in love with her, it’d never be what he’d had before. And she could never be a wife. A mother. She just knew she didn’t have it in her.

She fumbled in her handbag for her cigarette case when the man’s voice pulled her back to the present “Hey Miss. Miss, I need help.” He groaned, stumbling toward her.

Sophie turned to face the stranger, trying to quickly assess what may be wrong with him, when someone grabbed her from behind. The man she was facing quickly ran toward her, but picked up her legs instead of helping. It had been a ruse.

The man holding her legs felt her garter holster and removed the gun, throwing it to the ground as they carried her down the alley. Sophie riled and kicked as best she could. She tried to scream, but the man behind her had his hand over her mouth.

Before she could truly assess what was happening, she’d been violently flung into the backseat of a car which took off down the street connecting the alley. Struggling to find anything to stabilize herself, Sophie finally grabbed hold of the seat itself and was able to pull herself up into a seated position. She finally took in her surroundings and that’s when she realized who was seated next to her.

Luca Changretta.

“Bella,” he said, stroking her cheek and readjusting the toothpick in his mouth, “Let’s go for a drive. Shall we?”

___________________________________

Chapter 5

It’s about to get real real!

Feedback always appreciated–more than you can know!

Let me know if you want to be tagged on the next installment. This one’s for you: @shikin83

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fiction #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x oc #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x oc #luca changretta #alfie solomons #polly gray #ada shelby #lies travel faster #HazelNMae

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lovemesomerafael · 5 years

Text

Cinderella of Chicago Chapter 3: The Beginning

***Chicago Fire writers gonna kill Otis? Screw that noise. I’mma keep him alive, and he’s gonna GET SOME, too. Just you watch me.****

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Yes, you can read this story on AO3

It was so crowded in Molly’s that Brian and Meg ended up taking bottles of beer and sitting on the stairs down to the storage room, which was actually kind of romantic. There was a fun party happening mere feet away, but they could hear each other talk, and sit comfortably, and had privacy. Every once in a while, Brian had to run something up to the bar, but that wasn’t too much of a problem. He decided he’d worry about organizing the storage room tomorrow. Or next month.

They smiled a ridiculous amount. In fact, at one point, Meg put her hand to her cheek, saying, “I can’t seem to stop smiling. I’m not usually this much of a goofball. And I’m a little worried about my temporomandibular joint.”

Which, of course, only made Brian smile more. “Don’t worry about it. You have a nice smile.” He blushed and looked away. “Yeah. I am usually this much of a goofball.”

Meg laughed. “So you said something in Russian before. What did you say?”

“I said ‘second-generation American’. Not very creative, I guess.”

“But interesting. Do you actually speak Russian?”

“Yeah. I have to, my Baba doesn’t speak any English.”

“Your…”

“Grandmother. She understands every word you say to her in English. But she didn’t bother to learn to speak it. She says if you want to know what she has to say, you’re going to have to learn her language.”

“She sounds cool.”

“She’s very cool. My family spoke nothing but Russian at our house when I was growing up. She and my Deda – my grandfather – lived with us until he passed away when I was in high school.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“Siblings?”

“An older sister.”

“You’re so lucky! You guys had like a secret language that you could speak to each other and no one would know what you were saying.”

“Theoretically, yes. But we weren’t exactly the ‘secret language speaking’ kind of siblings. She would only talk to me in public to tell me what an idiot I was and to scram.”

“You sure we’re not related? That sounds an awful lot like my sister.”

Stella put her head around the corner to yell down the stairs for some wine.

“Duty calls,” Brian said, touching Meg on the shoulder as he got up to get the bottle and causing an infestation of butterflies in her stomach.

******************

It had been early when Meg had begun to leave Molly’s, only to run into Brian. At 2 a.m., closing time, Brian and Meg were still sitting together on the steps down to the storage room, sipping beers and getting to know one another. Brian was halfway in love already. He always fell too hard, too fast, but this girl… Well, he’d see. And she seemed into him, too.

Eventually, at almost 3 a.m., Herrmann finally had to go to the door and yell down to them that it was time to leave.

“We already did all the work, thanks for your help, Otis,” he said grumpily. Meg was horrified, thinking she’d gotten Brian into trouble, but Brian just smiled up at Herrmann.

“Hey, thanks, partner. Appreciate it.” He helped Meg up and they ascended the stairs into the empty bar where, true to Herrmann’s word, all the closing work had already been done.

Meg felt the gentle pressure of Brian’s hand on her back as he escorted her through the door into the snowy street. There wasn’t much snow, maybe two inches or so, but the flurries were still falling, and the night was beautiful and full of the soft magic of the first snow.

“Can I walk you home?” Brian asked.

“I’d love that, if it isn’t too far out of your way.”

“It’s not.”

Meg thought to mention that Brian didn’t know where she lived, but she wasn’t ready to say good night yet, and she thought a romantic walk through the snowy night would be perfect. So she just smiled up at him. He slid his hands into the pockets of his shearling coat, and held out his elbow to Meg. She had loved that move every time she’d ever seen it in the movies, and it captivated her when Brian did it. She gleefully tucked her arm into his.

She almost wished she lived further away from Molly’s. The six blocks went too fast. Meg lived in an old brick townhouse with a stoop, in the smallest apartment on the top floor. It was cramped and inconvenient, and she loved it. It allowed her to live by herself and yet feel completely safe, because she knew everyone else in the building, and they knew her. Also, because if she was ever in trouble, she could alert the other neighbors on her floor simply by saying so in a normal tone of voice. The walls were paper-thin.

Meg stood on the first step of the stoop and turned to Brian. Their eyes were level, and she still had her arm through his. Looking into his liquid brown eyes, Meg didn’t think she was actually swooning, but that word did come into her mind. He was very, very cute. She suddenly really wanted him to kiss her.

“I’d like to see you again,” he said softly, smiling uncertainly.

“Me, too. I don’t really know how we’ve avoided it so far.”

“Right?”

“But now that we have met, I’m wondering… I have tickets for the Planetary Saviors movie opening night at the Rivoli.”

“Shut up!”

“Would you like to go with me?”

“Would I like to? I’d kill to!”

“Well, luckily for you, you won’t have to go that far. I was going to go with my friend, Lita, but she isn’t that into them. She won’t mind at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Completely. And I’m also sure that you’re cuter than Lita.” Meg began to blush before she’d even finished her sentence. Where had that come from – well, she knew where it had come from, but what had possessed her to say it out loud?

Brian’s blinding smile and slight answering blush made the cringe worthwhile, however, especially when he said, “I think you’re pretty cute, too.”

All Meg could think to do was smile. Brian cleared his throat nervously.

“So, next Saturday then,” he said.

“Next Saturday. But you could, you know… call me before that. You know, if you want.”

“I will.”

“Good. I’ll, uh… answer.”

With another of those smiles, he took a step back and began to turn away. “So, good night,” he said uncertainly.

“Good night. I’m really glad we ran into eachother. Really glad.”

“Me, too.” He turned and began to walk away, while Meg stood and watched. When he’d gone about ten steps, she could stand it no longer.

“Brian,” she called, running to him and throwing her arms around his neck for a hug. He eagerly caught her in his arms. She looked up at him, smiling, and he tilted his head down to kiss her softly.

“Really glad,” he said, smiling into her eyes.

*****************

They had decided not to dress as Sumendi and Tabiti for the premiere. In the privacy of his own mind, Brian had several reasons for that, the primary one being that he could not for the life of him imagine how he could make a romantic move wearing Sumendi’s body suit, a cape, and fully-operational wings. And as many times as he’d replayed Meg coming toward him from her stoop to hug him, and kissing her in the snow that night, he was dead-set on making a romantic move.

He did, however, bring Meg’s Tabiti headpiece with him when he picked her up. It was time it was returned to its rightful owner. Looking at it as he waited for Meg to come down to the front door of her building, he smiled thinking how he’d felt that Sunday when she hadn’t shown up at ChicagoCon to reclaim it and he’d thought he’d never see her again. This was only their second – or was it technically the first? – date, but they’d talked a lot on the phone, and had coffee twice at Med when Brian had been there for work reasons. Or, what he told Meg were work reasons. He thought that, if he’d known how great she’d turn out to be, he would have been even more disappointed than he had been not to find her that second day at the Con.

She laughed when she saw him holding the headpiece. “You really brought it!”

“I told you I would,” he said, momentarily a little taken by surprise by how pretty she looked. Her coppery hair was softly curled and she wore just a hint more makeup than she usually wore at work. The thought that she’d made herself look especially nice for a date with him made his heart flutter a little, and caused other… manifestations.

“I’m gonna run this up to my apartment,” she said, turning to the stairs. “I’ll just be a sec.”

He waited while she ran lightly up the creaky wooden stairway to her third-floor apartment. Brian liked the venerable little townhouse. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected given the age of the building – maybe a smell of stale cooking and a general dilapidation – but he didn’t smell anything, and the small foyer was freshly painted. The firefighter in him wanted to check the wiring in the old building, but he thought that was probably more appropriate for a future date. As quickly as she’d run upstairs, Meg reappeared, peacoat in hand.

Brian helped her put her peacoat on over her fuzzy pink sweater. She shivered just a little at the gentlemanly courtesy, and at the contact. She’d been really looking forward to this date. Sure, she was excited to see the Planetary Saviors movie, but she was much more excited to get to spend some more time with Brian. He looked great in his jeans and what she suspected was a new plaid button-down shirt, and he smelled wonderful. She didn’t recognize the cologne, but she liked it, and she was impressed that he had used just the right amount.

They left Brian’s car in front of Meg’s house and held hands as they walked the two blocks to the El stop. The Rivoli was downtown and was actually a complex of several movie theaters, three of which were showing the Planetary Saviors movie. Meg hadn’t told Brian, because she wanted it to be a surprise, but they were actually going to see the movie in IMAX 3-D. She hoped he’d like that.

Brian was beside himself when the ticket taker handed them 3-D glasses.

“You’re kidding me,” he said, his eyes wide and his mouth tentatively curving up in a smile. “3-D?”

“IMAX 3-D,” Meg said, putting on her glasses and smiling back as his face lit up.

“Holy crap!” He cried, impulsively hugging her as he laughed with joyful surprise.

Brian bought them popcorn and sodas, and they made their way to their seats. The first thing they did after making themselves comfortable was to take selfies in their 3-D glasses. That important task completed, they began looking around to check out people’s costumes. Fully a quarter of the audience had come in costume, but Meg couldn’t see a Sumendi would could compare with Brian’s costume from ChicagoCon, and she said so. He, of course, responded that there wasn’t a Tabiti in the room anywhere near as good as hers.

“Hey, Meg,” Brian said, a little shyly. “If I forget to say so, thank you for tonight. This is really great.”

She smiled down at him from where she knelt on her seat, looking around at all the costumes. “Thanks for saying yes.” She thought about leaning over and giving him just a little kiss, but didn’t find the courage.

Suddenly, three very large men in their early thirties entered the aisle in front of Brian and Meg, taking the seats just in front of them.

“Otis!” One of them shouted from three feet away. “Hey, guys, it’s Otis!”

“Hey, Reeves,” Otis said warily.

One of the other guys, who was wearing a CFD T-shirt a couple sizes too tight to show off his arms, reached over the seat to grasp hands heartily with Brian. “Otis!”

“Bradley.” To be fair, Meg thought, Bradley had serious guns. If she had those biceps, she’d probably wear too-tight T-shirts, as well.

Brian nodded to the third guy, who didn’t look particularly pleased to see him. The guy turned to Meg.

“And who’s this?” He asked, reaching a hand out to her. She turned and sat down in her seat, putting her hand out. She expected him to shake it, but he turned it and placed a wet kiss on her knuckles. She tried not to show it, but it squicked her out a little.

“I’m Meg,” she said, suddenly recognizing the guy from an on-the-job injury he’d had that had brought him to Med once. He’d been a little handsy then, too. She wasn’t sure whether the HIPAA laws would allow her to remind him where they’d met before in front of other people, so she acted as though she didn’t recognize him. Clearly, he didn’t remember her.

“So, Otis has a girlfriend,” the guy said, still holding her hand. “I’m Kevin Brown. I could tell you some hilarious stories about this guy.”

“Movie’s about to start,” Brian tried.

“I remember one time when we were on Ladder 26…”

“No one wants to hear your boring stories, Brown,” Reeves said. “Sit y’ass down.”

Brian made a mental note to buy Reeves a beer next time he was in Molly’s.

“Naw, man, Meg needs to hear this,” Brown persisted. “So there’s Otis, tryna get the ladder to extend, and he’s gettin’ all nervous and fouled up in the hydraulics. There’s a lady in a window, screamin’. ‘Oh, lawdy, hep me, hep me!’ and smoke pourin’ out from behind her. And Otis is just completely hopeless, moving the ladder away rather than toward the window, and the lady’s all, ‘Hep me Jesus!’ and Otis is just shittin’ his drawers…”

Brian’s discomfort was palpable, and Meg put a hand on his arm. “Mr. Brown?” She said a little loudly, stopping his story. “May I ask you about the ethnicity of the woman in the window?”

“The…” Brown was nonplussed.

“She’s tryin’ to tell you you’re bein’ a racist asshole again,” Reeves said. Brian increased his free beer tally to two.

“Naw, but…”

Fortunately for everyone, the lights dimmed at that moment. Brown sat down, and received a dig in the elbow and a grunted curse from Bradley, sitting next to him.

“Sorry about that,” Brian whispered to Meg, taking the hand she still had on his arm into his. She moved her hand so they could entwine their fingers, and bumped Brian’s shoulder a little with hers.

“No worries,” she said. “But if they talk during the movie, can I borrow your Halligan?”

“It’s in my other pants,” he grinned. “But whatever you need to do, I’ve got your back.”

****************

The movie was fantastic. At first, it was a little distracting to be holding hands with Meg. For one thing, Brian couldn’t comfortably eat his popcorn. But he wasn’t about to let go, and neither was she. Soon enough, they were both fully immersed in the sensory assault of the story and figured out the logistics of holding and eating popcorn with one hand. They very quickly forgot about the firefighters in front of them, who were just as enthralled as they were, and made noise only when the rest of the crowd was also laughing or cheering. By the time it was over, Brian and Meg were almost tired from the experience.

Walking out of the theater into the Chicago night, Brian again took Meg’s hand. It was starting to feel natural.

“Do you want to get a drink, or…?” He asked.

“Yeah, I guess so. But you know what would feel good after sitting in the movie? We could walk a little. Maybe over to the river?”

Brian liked that idea very much. He settled in beside her and they strolled down the street toward a little park overlooking the river, just enjoying the night and the buildings and lights and, especially, each other. When they reached the river, they leaned against the railing, appreciating the reflection of the buildings on either side as it flickered and shimmered on the water.

“This is nice,” Meg said, snuggling against Brian’s side. He put his arm around her and squeezed her a little.

“Very nice.”

He took a deep breath and decided there was no better time to do what he’d been contemplating since she’d suggested walking to the river. He reached his hand across to lightly, gently touch her chin, turning her face to his. He heard her breath catch, and felt a shiver at the small smile on her lips as she tipped her face up to meet his lips. This was a different kiss than the light smooch he’d given her that first night. This kiss had some heat, some intention. And it lasted long enough for both of them to find themselves moving to get closer together. Meg decided it would be a bad move to unsnap Brian’s coat so she could put her arms inside, but it was very tempting. Over the course of several minutes, they became more relaxed, their kisses more fluid, as they learned the shape of eachother’s lips and mouths, and began to lose themselves in the moment and each other. Meg felt Brian cup her face in both hands. She had always wanted a man to do that, and it felt as loving as she’d always imagined it would. She shivered.

“You getting cold?” He asked, solicitous and concerned.

“No,” she smiled. “I’m not cold.”

“Maybe we should go get that drink.”

“Sounds good.”

Once again, he put his hands in his pockets and she took his arm as they walked. Brian was a little self-conscious – and a bit uncomfortable, to be honest – and glad that his shearling coat was thigh-length. Those had been some really nice kisses. He tried not to think about it, but he wondered what might happen when he walked her home.

The bar they chose had a lot of chrome and colored lights and, although there was no dance floor, the music was a little loud for conversation. Brian didn’t mind as much as he might have, because it meant they had to sit very close together and lean in. They managed to thoroughly discuss the movie that way, and Brian also took a few opportunities to kiss Meg when they presented themselves.

When they finished their drinks, they decided to head back to the El. They kicked around the idea of having another drink at Molly’s but, in truth, they both preferred to be alone together. And they were both spending more time thinking about the idea of being alone together in private.

Reaching Meg’s El stop, they descended the stairs to the street and walked, again hand in hand, the two blocks to her apartment. They were laughing and joking, now in a bit sillier mood than they’d been in at the bar. In part, that was because they were both self-conscious about how the night was going to end.

Meg had decided that she was going to invite Brian up to her apartment for a drink. That was the oldest line in the book, but it was also by far the most successful, and he was definitely giving her signals that he’d say yes. So, when they reached her stoop, she turned to him.

“I have some RumChata, if you’d like to come up.”

He made a face. “Um… I’d really like to come up, but I need to admit that I have no idea what RumChata is.”

She laughed as she turned to climb the steps to the door. “Come on up and find out.”

“Am I going to have to talk about it in Confession?” He asked, suddenly feeling very flirty.

“Are you Catholic?”

“No.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” she smiled, winking as she unlocked the door. He was beginning to be glad for the length of his coat again.

Brian followed Meg up the creaky stairs to her apartment, trying to be quiet but finding it difficult because there didn’t seem to be anywhere he could step that didn’t make a squeak. Even the banister squeaked as he held it. “Noisy stairs,” he whispered loudly.

“I know. We’re all used to it. No secrets in this building, I’m afraid.”

Meg’s apartment was tiny, but very comfortable. She had just enough room in her living area for a large, deep couch with lots of throw pillows and a small coffee table in front of it, facing an entertainment center. The first thing Brian noticed when she flicked on a lamp on the sole side table was that she had the latest gaming system – one version newer than the one he had.

“You have the PlayBox 5!”

“Yeah, I do. And not only that,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at him, “but I have the new BattleGround Jupiter.” She held up the plastic case for a game disc.

“Get outta here! Have you played? How is it?”

“If you want, we can play it right now. But it’s gonna have to be on low volume. The walls are pretty thin, and my neighbors are light sleepers. I usually wear headphones when I play.”

“I’m so in! I can be quiet,” Brian said, his face lit up like a child’s and his excited whisper full of eagerness.

“You set it up. I’ll get the drinks.”

“So it’s a drink. That- thing you said.”

“RumChata. You’ll love it.”

Meg came to sit next to Brian just as he had the game up on the TV screen and had programmed it for two players. He handed Meg a controller and she handed him a glass with a milky, caramel-colored beverage over a couple of ice cubes. Clinking their glasses together, they each took a sip.

“Oh, that’s good,” Brian said.

“I thought you’d like it. Now, you ready to get humiliated?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. I have played BattleGround Jupiter before.”

“All right. Show me whatcha got, hotshot.”

They set their drinks down on the coffee table and began to play. It was hard to keep quiet, because they were both pretty good at the game, which made it a challenge, and they were both competitive. They’d been playing for about half an hour when they came to the last point.

“OK, here we go. This is it. Winner becomes the ruler of the entire planet, and all its moons,” Meg said. The score was even.

Brian sat back and finished his drink, a contemplative look on his face. “Like that’s a prize. I’m thinking we should up the stakes.”

Meg raised an eyebrow. “What’s better than ruling Jupiter?”

“I’m glad you asked, young Paduan. Kissing. Kissing the ruler of Jupiter.”

“Really.”

“Oh, yes. So I’m thinking that, if you win, I have to kiss the ruler of Jupiter. And, if I win, you do.”

She tilted her head, a quizzical expression on her face. “But, if…”

“What, are you chicken?” He smiled that irresistible smile, but with a definite amorous edge.

Meg couldn’t help but laugh out loud. She put a hand over her mouth, then leaned toward Brian, whispering, “You’re on. Prepare to kiss the ruler of Jupiter.”

“Yeah, put your lasers where your mouth is.”

Once the game restarted, it took Brian about five seconds to become the ruler of Jupiter, and all its moons. Meg collapsed against the backrest of the couch, letting her game controller fall to the tabletop.

“Oh, that was painful.”

“Yes, I’m sure it was.”

He set his game controller on the coffee table and turned his body toward her. “You ready to pay up?”

She heaved a melodramatic sigh and sat up, turning toward him. “If I must.”

“Well, if you really don’t want to kiss the ruler of Jupiter…”

“Actually, I kind of do want to kiss the ruler of Jupiter.”

“Then get over here.”

It didn’t take very long for the kisses between Brian and Meg to get serious. They’d both been thinking about seriously kissing each other for the past several hours. Within a short time, they were lying side by side on the couch, which required a fair amount of teamwork given that the couch, though deep, was still not entirely wide enough for them both. Over the course of several adjustments in their arrangements, some having to do with comfort but more having to do with… positioning, Meg found herself essentially on her back with Brian on his side next to her. He was getting progressively bolder with his stroking of her fuzzy sweater.

“I really like how this sweater feels,” he murmured, playing with one of the buttons.

“Yeah? I was hoping you would like it,” she breathed.

“I do.”

“I was kinda hoping, with the buttons, you might… wanna take it off,” Meg risked.

“Were you?” Brian chuckled, recapturing her lips as he unbuttoned the button he’d been playing with.

“Kinda how I roll,” she giggled.

By the time Brian left Meg’s apartment that night, he thought he might be in love. And he definitely had a serious thing for pink, fuzzy sweaters.

#chicago fire #yuri sardarov #otis #chicago fire otis #chicago pd #chicago med

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nottodaylogic · 6 years

Text

I am NOT taking the bed, Patton.

Summary: Patton is having Logan over for a sleepover. They’re both gay nerds.

Pairing: Logicality

Word count: 1515

Prinxiety version link

A/N: This is one part of a pair of oneshots that were... meant to be one shots... but turned out much longer... and taking from the summer to now... so yeah haha

This one ended up taking longer than the Prinxiety version because of this originally being shorter, but then we decided to extend it, and finally finished it today, emphasis on FINALLY

This was co-written by @ohbytheangel , who’s really freaking awesome and fun to write with :) @hghrules and @becca-becky are some friends who might like it, @tinysidestrashcaptain I kind of just really wanted to tag you aah

“This is your house. I’m not making you sleep on the couch.”

“Yeah, but you’re the guest!”

Logan shook his head, adamant. “Patton, I’m not making you take the couch. It’s your house. I want to be a polite guest.”

“Well, you’re the guest, and you don’t normally sleep here, so you should get the bed!” Patton crossed his arms. “I want you to be comfortable, Lo.”

“Well, I’d be uncomfortable taking your bed,” Logan said. He sat down on the couch.

“So would I, with you on the couch!” Patton exclaimed. “Come on, Logan, don’t be so stubborn!”

“Why don’t we just share the couch?” Logan asked, merely trying to be logical.

Patton blushed. “Well, I mean, if you want.”

Logan adjusted his glasses, slightly awkwardly. He hadn’t meant to make Patton blush. “I just think it’s simply the logical solution. Neither of us will take the bed, so shouldn’t we just share the couch?”

“I—okay?” Patton’s cheeks were slightly flushed now. “I guess you’re right. It is—logical, I mean.”

Logan felt his face grow warmer than a usual temperature. He was blushing.

He was blushing?

He didn’t blush.

He was an unfeeling creature of logic, and he didn’t blush.

He was frozen.

“So, lemme just go get some blankets and stuff and then we can go to bed.”

It was early, like two-in-the-morning-early. Logan supposed that he should have brought up bedtime a lot sooner, but he had had fun watching TV and talking with Patton. That two-AM foolish courage was the only reason Logan was able to nod and move around in some imitation of usefulness.

Soon, the couch was deemed a sleepable surface, there were pillows and blankets everywhere. Logan supposed that they had gone a bit over the top.

“Ready to go to bed?” Patton asked.

“Yes. We need some rest.”

“Well then.” Patton said, flopping down onto the couch, curling up among the blankets.

His hair was falling into his eyes, and his lips were in a loose smile. He was wearing a soft cat T-shirt and flannel pants.

He was adorable.

“Lo, come on, lay down,” Patton said.

“Right. Sorry,” Logan muttered, suddenly feeling awkward. He laid down onto the couch next to Patton and tried to get comfortable.

“I think that the couch is only made for one-and-a-half people to sleep on,” Patton said, laughing. “Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s no problem.” In attempt to have the two of them fit more comfortably, Logan threw his arm over Patton, pulling him close. Patton snuggled closer instinctively.

“You’re warm,” Patton murmured.

“Humans do tend to emit body heat, yes.”

Patton giggled, a light, cheerful sound. “It’s nice.”

Logan agreed, but he wasn’t about to admit that without careful thought and creating a mental pro-con list. And right now, he was too tired for anything but soft, lovey thoughts.

Patton rested his head on Logan’s chest in a way so that Logan was able to rest his chin on the top of his head. They had fit together perfectly, like the two last LEGO bricks in a million-piece set.

He loved it.

...okay, it was time to stop thinking gay thoughts and fall asleep.

“Goodnight, Patton.”

Patton moved slightly, and then, suddenly, a kiss was pressed to Logan’s cheek. “‘Night, Lo.”

How was he supposed to fall asleep after just being kissed?

Logan kissed Patton’s forehead softly. “Sleep well.”

—

When Logan woke up, he was lying on the floor, and Patton was nowhere to be found.

This didn’t make him worry until he realized that Patton was supposed to be somewhere to be found, and also when he remembered what had happened last night.

And that was when he started panicking.

Oh Crofters, what had he done?!

He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. “Patton? Where are you?”

“In here!” Patton’s voice was coming from the kitchen, along with the smell of something, as the aforementioned boy would say, “yummy”. Bacon, maybe, or pancakes.

He stood up and walked to the kitchen. When he entered the room, he froze at the sight of Patton standing there, mid-pancake-flip, smile bright on his face, his light brown hair messy and partially under a lopsided beanie. His t-shirt was hidden beneath—

“You’re wearing my hoodie,” Logan observed. He was not blushing. He was not blushing.

“Oh.” Patton’s cheeks reddened. “I hope you don’t mind. I was kind of cold and…” he trailed off. He cleared his throat. “If you want it back—“

“No. No, you keep it. I’m good.” Patton looked so adorable in the hoodie, and Logan wasn’t about to deprive himself of such goodness.

“If you say so!” Patton nodded at the stovetop, where he was cooking pancakes and bacon. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“It smells really good.”

Patton blushed. “Aww, thanks Lo!”

When the pancakes were fully cooked and the bacon crispy as a fresh Jim in that one Trollhunters episode (Logan had watched that show with Roman once. His friend cried at the end. Roman got way too attached to fictional characters sometimes.), Patton dished up the breakfast, and they sat down to eat.

Logan took a bite of pancake and realized that he must be in heaven.

“Patton, this is…. adequately good.”

Patton beamed. “Aww, thanks, Lo!”

Logan never knew how to respond to thank yous, so he continued eating his pancakes of bliss.

When all the food had been consumed, a silence overtook the table.

Patton stood up. “I’ll get the dishes.” He picked up some plates and moved to grab Logan’s. Patton picked up the cup, looking Logan in the eyes. Logan half-stood up, just as Patton leaned in.

Their lips met, Logan hovering over his chair. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he heard dishes clattering onto the table, and then Patton’s arm was around his waist, pulling him upright.

He didn’t know what to do with his hands, but he did know that he wanted Patton closer, so he closed his hands on the other’s hoodie and pulled him nearer to him.

Patton gasped softly, whispering, “Logan”.

The sound of a fork clattering to the ground snapped him back to time. He stepped back, already wishing he hadn’t.

Patton’s cheeks were flushed, and Logan was guessing that his own looked the same.

“I—I’ll pick up the glass,” Patton muttered.

“It’s a fork. It’s metal.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Logan sighed.

“Uhh—maybe we should try and talk about our feelings or something?” Patton suggested.

“Feelings are confusing.” He slid his hands into his pockets, in his hair, rubbing his arms. “And tricky.”

“That’s kind of what feelings are, Lo.” He giggled softly. “They wouldn’t be any fun if they were easy.”

“They would be fun if they were easy to understand! And I don’t know, I just—you—you’re funny and nice and encouraging and I might feel something more than friendship for you.”

Patton peered through his glasses at him. He was smiling softly. “I feel the same way, Logan.”

His heart soared. “I’m glad. It would be very strange if we had just kissed and one of us didn’t reciprocate the other’s feelings.”

Patton somehow, even though the two were already close, stepped closer. “Maybe—do you think we could—kiss again?” He was blushing.

He looked adorable.

Logan nodded and leaned forward.

And then Patton’s hands were in his hair, and Patton was warm and soft and gentle, and Logan was cupping Patton’s face.

He never thought he’d enjoy romantic things like what he was currently occupied with.

But his younger self was an idiot.

His younger self never had imagined how good kissing someone could feel, how much fun it was, how there was someone he could trust this much, how much he could desire to know everything about someone, their innermost thoughts and feelings, their entire self.

His younger self didn’t know Patton.

Didn’t know love.

They moved apart from each other, before Logan spoke.

“So. Do you wanna watch a movie?”

Patton grinned. “Can we watch Back To The Future and cuddle?”

“Sure.” Logan’s eyes dropped. “It’s just—I don’t know how to cuddle.”

Patton took his hand. “It’s kinda like hugging but while sitting.”

“Sit-hugging?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Here.” He led Logan to the couch. Logan just let him, his brain muffled.

Patton gathered him into his arms like a fluffy cat on the verge of sleep. “Like this!”

“This is… unexpectedly nice.” He leaned his head onto Patton’s shoulder.

Patton giggled. “That’s kinda the point, Lolo!”

Logan hummed. “It’s good.”

Patton beamed.

Logan stayed bundled in the arms of his maybe-boyfriend for a very long time as the movie played in the background.

It was so nice and warm and peaceful.

His eyes felt heavy, the white noise of Back To The Future lulling him to sleep, the occasional soft kisses on his forehead calming.

Logan would wake up later, but he’d been awake long past a healthy sleep schedule time. A nap wouldn’t hurt.

Patton murmured something in his ear, brushing his hair back with his fingers. The movements felt soft and nice, casual affectionate gestures.

He gradually drifted off to sleep.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #sleepovers #sabine writes #Sabine Creates #writing with friends #KEEP FORGETTING THE TAG FOR THAT W H O O P S

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