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nella09archive · 7 months

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Marriage. 51

Chapter 51: Yearly Camping Trip Plus 1

We finally was reaching the second year of our training, and mom suggested that we should take a break. Mr. Piccolo was getting tired of these ‘breaks’ and was even yelling at mom. He soon regret that, when mom threw him out the house. It was funny. Mom told him how this break was because it was my and dad yearly camping trip. I almost forgot about those. Dad looked really excited that mom reminded us, but I’m kind of agree with Mr. Piccolo. Maybe we do take too many breaks. Then dad suggested that Mr. Piccolo should come with us. Mom actually looked pleased with that.

Once we made it to the campsite, dad finally told Mr. Piccolo the plan for this trip. Mr. Piccolo was actually happy with this, now. So, looks like we were still training, and with no distractions from mom. Now we’re talking.

…

During our ‘camping trip’ I was finally able to really test out a few new techniques. During last year I couldn’t do so, since we were just all trying to get along and into a daily routine. Ok, and maybe I was heavily distracted. Not my fault Chichi is amazing. Even though I asked Piccolo to come along, I really was trying to put more focus on Gohan. Even though Piccolo said he thought Gohan everything he knew, it clearly didn’t show.

Gohan was slow to react, and even his movements were slow. And the way Piccolo handle his flaws were also a red flag. During this trip I tried to correct as much as possible, but Piccolo kept getting the way. I really need to have a one-on-one with Gohan, when this is all over. Too many simple mistakes, that could have been avoid, if taking care of properly. I looked over to Piccolo. I start to question if his training is the reason, I won all those years ago. Then again, maybe not. Maybe I’m looking at this wrong.

…

The years has surely passed by quickly. Only a few more months till the battle. My boys have done so much, they deserve a treat. Maybe for the remaining months we can all do something together. Like trying to spend as much time as possible. Even with Goku’s checkups coming along nicely, too. The doctors haven’t found anything wrong with him yet, and thanks to their recommendations, Goku’s health seems better than when we started. Goku is eating right, after a good amount of arguing. He’s also getting enough sleep. I always knew he’s sleep pattern wasn’t healthy. And thanks to the changes he also commented how he feels even stronger, with the added training.

When I asked him about that, he would tell me he doesn’t feel as drain anymore. That confused me. Goku never seemed drained after a hard day of training. Even in the beginning of our marriage, he seem pretty healthy to me. But when he tells me about it, I come to realized I missed a lot of signs. How he would nonverbally complain that he just sat down. How he would have days when sex seem not go so long. He was showing signs of exhaustion, but never said anything. I feel like an awful wife for not noticing. My poor Goku was always suffering, and I never even noticed. That’s it! I’m going to do something special just for him!

I just finished sending off Gohan to my fathers, and asking Piccolo if he could be gone for a couple of days. It clearly confused him, but I reassured him that when Gohan gets back, I’ll send Goku for him. With that, he left. Now I was left with a very confused husband. Well, confused till he had his arms around me. “Our anniversary if not for another month, so what’s the occasion?” He purred into my ear.

“No occasion, just wanted to do something nice for you.” Even though he had a pleased smile, I could tell he looked worried. “Oh, stop. You do so much for me, I should be doing stuff for you too.” He didn’t seem to like that answer.

“You do plenty and more. So, you really don’t have do anything more.” Now that made me sad. My dear husband. He would give his life for others. He would the extra mile for mine and Gohan’s happiness. He would do anything to keep us safe. My dear husband. The man that hides his emotions from the world. The man who doesn’t like showing that he also has weakness. He would rather give his all and ask for nothing in return. That’s just not fair! “Why are you giving me that look? Did I do something to upset you? Tell me, so I can make you happy.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” At that I finally let my tears fall. He embraced me, and rubbed my back. Telling me things like how he doesn’t get what he did to deserve me. My Goku is truly something else. After what felt like forever, I finally calm down. I told let’s take a bath; he was stud by my sudden request. I already had it in my mind that for these next few days I was give Goku the ultimate special treatment he deserves. Even if he complains that I shouldn’t do it. My husband deserves it, and so I’m going to do it!

…

I’m completely confused by my wife’s actions. For some reason, she wants to do more for me. What gives? Chichi truly does enough for me, I don’t really need anymore. But for some reason she doesn’t believe me. Now she’s saying for us to go take a bath. I’m just very confused.

Ok, so maybe it has been a little too long, since Chichi gave me a good cleaning. Somewhere along the years we just started taking baths at different times, and rarely together. So, I will allow this. Especially how good it feels to get the spot, between my shoulder blades, scrub just right. Chichi back scrubs are always nice, especially when she hums, which she is doing. I’m feeling just a little ok with this. Then she does something unimaginable.

She had rubbed my tail stub, just the way I like it, too. I was between shock, from the randomness, and very aroused. If my Chichi wanted that type of attention, she could have just said so. I tried to turned around, to give her some attention. Only for her to pinch me, and damn I don’t move; how it’s only about me. As good as that sounds, I wasn’t liking this. It should only, and always, be about her. But I will admit, this does feel good. I don’t when or how, but one of her hands was still rubbing and pinching my tail stub, while the other was stroking my dick. She knows too well that this always gets me. What in the world has gotten into my wife? I even felt her rubbing her breast against my back, and dropping kisses. Before I knew it, I saw stars, as I came undone.

Damn, that felt good. I really wanted to return the favor, but she wouldn’t let me. I really shouldn’t question this, but maybe, just maybe ask what did I do to deserve this. She wouldn’t answer, but spending this time with her is still perfect. So, who cares. We were now just enjoying the steaming hot bath. Well for her, it’ll be considered boiling. “Sometimes I think the water is never hot enough for you.” I couldn’t help chuckle at that. We shared a kissed that ended with her riding me, while still in the bath. I’m going to enjoy every minute of this.

…

It really took me a while to get Goku to just accept, that I wanted to treat him today. After the few rounds in the bathroom, I really didn’t think I could go on. But I must! It’s for my wonderful husband. Once we entered our room, I didn’t even allow him to get dress. The look he gave made me think, he thought we were going another round. He wasn’t wrong, but I wanted to give him a nice back massage first. That lead to a good round, that almost broke the bed.

I still didn’t allow him to get dress, as we walked to the kitchen, for lunch. I ended up being the main course, and dessert. Even though I was doing this for him, it some how turned into being about me. I was actually getting upset. “How many times do I have to tell you?” He purred against my neck. “I love it when I make you feel good. It makes me feel good too.” He lightly bit the mark. “Now come on. Tell me how bad you want it.” I still can’t believe the position we were in. He was under me, while I was facing upward. He was stretching me just right, and his heated hands were just hovering over me. “Come on, say it.” He nip at my earlobe. My husband is going to be the death of me. He lightly along my neck.

“Please. Give me, give me. Give me more.”

“That a girl.” With that he started to thrust in me again, and his hands toyed with me. Before long I was left screaming, as my climax it. “I really love it when you come all over me.” I don’t know how, but that sent me on another climax, and this time he joined me. Once the high was over, he had pinned me under him. “You truly are perfect.” He then purred into my ear. “But I think we’re done warming up.” Oh kami! What did he mean by that?

…

When I finally came home, after a week, mom and dad were acting funny. They didn’t smell weird, like they usually do when they act like this. They just seemed perfectly, way too, happy. Don’t question it, and I won’t have to worry. Even Mr. Piccolo had a weird face, when he saw my parents. But I did notice the house was extra clean, like someone was trying to mask a crime scene.

The remaining months were filled with heavier training. With very little break in between. Even mom made my study days down from 3 to 1. What gives? At night my parents still had high ki levels, but I’ve learned to just ignore it. I started to learn to just ignore the weird smile dad had, when looking at mom. Before we go training, they would share a kiss, and when we got back, they shared another one.

The closer we came to the day, the weirder things got at home. Mom ki acts funny, and dad seems more on edge than usually. That says a lot. Sometimes mom ki would just disappear, I would get worried, but dad would say she’s fine. I didn’t like this! Mom and dad are acting way too weird, for something not to be up. And mom also started eating a bit more than usually. I would want to comment, but dad advice against it. Something is wrong with mom, and dad wants me to just ignore it. What gives?

Two more days to go, and I asked if I could sleep with my parents. I was so happy dad said yes. Dad held us protectively, and I couldn’t be happier. By now, being this close to mom, I realized there was a strange ki, coming from her. What’s going on here? But I didn’t question it. There’s more important things to worry about.

It was finally the day, and I noticed something was off with both my parents. I figured it was just that they were worried. As mom made breakfast, dad was still sleeping. That’s very strange. Dad usually woke up around the same time as mom. Even mom looked concern. I wanted to ask her what’s wrong with dad, but she just put on a smile, as she went upstairs. When my parents came down, they both were smiling. But I could tell, these weren’t the happy smiles. These were the very worried smiles. Even dad had the worried smile. I really hope today goes ok. Before we set off, I made sure to give my mom an extra long hug, and a very big smile.

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the-everlasting-downpour · 1 year

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Misc. posts from the old blog.

Feb. 21st.

(responding to one of my messages) Only the last one is normal. Others are… meh.

care to suggest?

Let make Square a “soldier of free will” Like, he goes to serve on positivity and romance And then just gets curbstomped by the sheer reality.

Cudda could be more influential. So that he would lead others. But then sucked on hard one And dissapointed everyone. (He also can be finished by the news about others’ failures.)

And Blixter… “Hostage of the circumstances” sounds plain. We need a predestination for that kind of suffering.

square’s literally been forced to play with the devil. he understands that by his experience. he has no free will and is sent to do as required from him, otherwise it will end poorly.

cudda from the beginnings is a brain behind the operation. even before the events became apparent, he made some staggering progress.

and blixter ended up in this mess while coming out from a rich family. behind him is his bodyguard. he is a hostage of circumstances, as he acknowledges, that the bodyguard isn’t always able to save him.

…Yeah. Right. Gotcha. A bias toward ordinariness.

that’s canon. what can i do? i myself have destined to make a continuation while remaining maximally canon. in this set i can’t go any other way. and even if i could, i wouldn’t, as i know the canon. c'est la vie.

Feb. 24th.

idk how, but it got harder to write not, like, harder to write things down, but harder to create some good scenery for example, chapter 3 i made it? i did is it good? it is but it’s like some art house films with a 2 mil. budget - it could’ve been done better i’ll spend some more time creating chapters 4 & 5. maybe 2-3 weeks or so i’ll also look if i can make progress on other shit or not

A, So you are, like, tired of the project But not, like, entirely

yeah like, i have motivation

And then you’ll burn out

nah, i don’t bind to anything that much it’s like sex - you always need a condom

Mar. 5th.

i’ll not lie to you, but i feel bad about Alex and Reekis more than M.

I feel bad for how Reekis turned out and also Alex too, you were right, this chapter was suffering

fyi, Alex actually loved M., secretly. she hoped, that the relationship between M. and Penti will not stay for long and she could snitch him out of anybodys’ grasp. and M. liked her, too. and Reekis… do you think he wanted this? he was 19 in the day when he was arrested. he was naive and easy to manipulate. and so he was used to burn the church. i lied, that everybody got arrested. everybody ran, and Reekis got the blame. but even when he knew he will suffer himself, he couldn’t stop his pride.

I did sense something between Alex and M but rn my focus is on Reekis because he was like, one of my favorites and to see him in this state was sad (with the context of young and naive) He got on the bad lane of things, poor dude.

and also Eugene. not only he was the soul of the company - he was the one who gave both Reekis and M. an opportunity to make their plan work. my friend, with which i talk a lot about this project, said, that i should’ve removed him entirely, as he was nonimportant to the story. at some degree he was right. hence, Eugene got a simple death of being a victim of a mall shooting.

The moment I read Eugene died I was like “how is M. Gonna recover from this” He didn’t

if the gaps between deaths would’ve been more, and if he himself didn’t get beaten from those mysterious people, he could’ve recover. even for a man of reason and intelligence this totality can be fatal. and that has happened.

It was the snowball rolling down the snow covered hill effect

an avalanche, so to speak.

Mar. 5th.

how do you think, does the concept “the more simple the description - the sadder the reader” work with death of an character?

I don’t think so You can make an intense situation first, Only for it to end in nothingness. A simple description of death makes it dry, boring and somewhat usual

ok, i have Eugene’s death. i want to make it simple against the background of John’s death, for which i wrote the final scene of his funeral in chapter six and the opening scene in chapter seven, where M. deals with what the deceased John handed him in a beautiful box. and i decided, by design, to make Eugene a victim of mass-shooting in the shopping mall. the intensity is already there - M. is already suffering after John’s death. and there’s another portion of it added via Eugene’s death.

So, Eugene leaves the land after John, if i understand it correctly?

yea. a lot of time has passed after John’s death and after his funeral

Uh-huh… And you want to make the second death less significant But it has to hit M. hard

no. it adds additional dread to the feelings after John’s passing.

like, John was with him in the army, and his father tells M. about John’s problems and that M. was his only friend.

see: John (significant) Eugene (additional) Reekis (additional (Reekis does not die, but goes to jail because he burned down the church) M.’s group (significant) The attempt on M.’s life (very significant)

In fact, we can do without Eugene He doesn’t mean much at all

too late - i wrote the scene down.

Then why remove him at all?

it’s an additional scene.

and otherwise the collage would be unfinished.

Getting those symbols, eh?

this is one of the reasons. even if on the surface Eugene means little, it does not mean that he is not needed at all.

For me It doesn’t make sense M. is already in a tilt because of John So why does he have to be in a tilt because of Eugene? He’s practically a nobody

#The World of TED

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frogtanii · 3 years

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tw. serious self loathing

kenma hated hospitals.

the cold sterile air, the incessant beeping of machines, the loud voices of the doctors — mix it all together and you get the perfect recipe for kicking up kenma’s anxiety.

it was bad enough, what with you being the one in the hospital bed, tied up to all those machines but all the other more extraneous details certainly didn’t help.

kenma’s eyes darted around the white hallway, his knee bouncing erratically as he tried to listen in through the door at what the doctor was saying. earlier, when he had tried to follow behind the rest of the house members to get your diagnosis, he was stopped by kuroo’s hand on his chest and a sad shake of his head.

he’d made his way back to the cold, unforgiving seats lining the hall right outside your room and attempted to overhear, something, anything, that would abate his anxieties.

unfortunately, the conversation was over before kenma could glean anything of substance, the door swinging open as the doctor exited, the atmosphere left in the room being tense and uncomfortable.

kenma quickly stood to his feet, glancing from face to face to discern some kind of news, be it good or bad. “w-what— is she okay? what’s going on?” as much as he willed it not to shake, his voice cracked in the middle of his sentence, his fear for you clearly bleeding into his words.

at the sound of his broken voice, all heads in the room turned towards him. he scanned all their faces but his eyes were stuck on atsumu’s, his own burning with a righteous fury.

before kenma could blink, atsumu was on him, shoving him up against the wall while pressing an arm against his chest. the thumping in kenma’s chest intensified, his eyes widening in dread as his breathing quickened.

he could faintly hear the sounds of protests from the other house members and off-duty nurses but they were swiftly becoming drowned out by the blood and static rushing in his ears.

“atsumu. step down.” sakusa gritted before yanking atsumu off of kenma, allowing kenma to collapse onto the floor. the residual adrenaline and anxiety came to the point they were overwhelming, his breath coming in short pants as he tears leaked from his eyes.

“i-i’m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry, i didn’t know, thought that it would be ok, thought she would be okay but she’s not, oh god this is all my fault, i’m sorry, m sorry,” his words came out like a broken faucet before he couldn’t stop them, his arms wrapping around himself as he rolled into the fetal position, determined to erase himself from his surroundings.

a presence appeared in front of him, crouching down and grabbing his hands before where they were digging into his skin, cradling them gently within their own. “hey bud,” bokuto said kindly, a big smile on his face despite the circumstances. “breathe with me, ok?”

kenma nodded before matching bokuto’s exaggerated breathing, in and out, in and out, until his heartbeat was finally back to normal and he didn’t feel like he was going to collapse. “you wanna tell us what happened?”

he firmly kept his gaze on bokuto, determined not to look at everyone else’s scared, angry, or hurt expressions as he explained himself. “i-i saw yn g-go to the bathroom and it was fine because o-of course it was but then i s-saw meiko follow and it d-didn’t register? it happened so f-fast and then i got distracted and it e-escaped my mind until y-you guys brought it up. i j-just— i didn’t think m-meiko was gonna do anything. we were in public and—“

“that won’t stop her.” kenma chanced a look at suga who was the one who spoke, his eyes downcast and stormy with anger and... sadness?. “you didn’t know and that’s whatever, but meiko is fucking crazy. never underestimate her again.” he warned with a grave tone. all kenma could do was nod, a fresh wave of tears coming to his eyes.

“‘m sorry,” he whimpered, his gaze falling upon the white lines on his suit pants. the group let out hums of acknowledgment before falling back into a tense silence, the only sounds coming from the hospital around them.

it didn’t last very long.

“yn! yn!” a deep masculine voice rang from the entrance of the hospital, followed by a quieter platitude and then a host of shushes from the nurse on the floor. the taller man with dark hair managed to lock eyes with kenma, his body moving quickly until he was right in front of the group.

“i need to see her. now.” the man’s voice was dark and menacing but kenma was the only one who seemed to shrink at the sound, the others sizing the outsider up and glaring him down. atsumu waved them away before bringing the pair into a hug, the shorter pink-haired man sighing deeply into the embrace.

atsumu exchanged short “pleasantries” with the two newcomers before turning towards your door wistfully. “uh, ya will be able ta see her soon enough but her throat is fucked pretty badly. she’s asleep right now but doc says she won’t be able to talk for at least a week.”

kenma’s heart caught in his throat. you wouldn’t be able to speak?? because of him?? the thought made him clam back up, his dark hair spilling over his shoulders to shield him from the rest of the hall. he could hear more voices, a door clicking open, a soft gasp, and a growled threat but he was too strung up to focus any more than that.

my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, played over and over on repeat in his mind, his inner demons taunting him for ruining your life. you would never forgive him, never lay your eyes upon him again without showing disgust and disdain. it was what he deserved, especially after the hell he put you through, no matter how much it hurt.

he faintly recognized at some point in his self loathing, that he was moving somewhere with the group, their hands on him as though they were leading him someplace, not that it mattered.

kenma already knew he was a horrible waste of space and this cemented it for him. but, his mind so helpfully offered, even if you are a piece of shit, you can still do something, something big. make meiko pay for how she hurt you and suga and the rest of them.

oh, he was going to do something alright. he was going to do something so large, so enormous that meiko’s reputation could never, ever recover.

kenma was absolutely going to get his revenge. not for him, no, he could care less about himself. no, he would do it for you and all those who had suffered by her hand.

after all, it was the very least he could do.

℗ poker face

the least he could do

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - i feel so horrible today so i don’t have much to write here??? KJSSN ty for reading n don’t forget to feed me <333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

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the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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warmau · 3 years

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summer is supposed to be a time of happiness, of adventure and goofing around under the constant sunlight

and so when you start summer, you are all smiles and big dreams! unfiltered energy to do whatever you want!

and whatever you want is definitely

NOT spending even a day (actually three) in the hospital after you end up falling off your bike and breaking your ankle like the absolute unlucky person that you are

"that is so gnarly dude, my condolences"

chenle mutters, skateboard under hand and shaking his head

jisung nods in agreement beside him - still wearing his helmet even after your nurse gives him a look about it

"hey, at least you're getting all this free candy?"

jaemin motions, picking up a 'get better soon' box filled with chocolates from your uncle

he pops one in his mouth and haechan swats his hand away before he can steal any more

mark sighs and gives you a sad smile, renjun puts the flowers they all bought together in a vase by your bed

it's all a little too much - and you tell them it's fine, it's just an ankle and you'll be out of here in no time

they all agree, except for jeno who is sitting at the foot of your bed with his volleyball uniform still on and his duffel bag between his legs on the floor

you keep throwing glances his way because you have never seen jeno so quiet in your life

mark - who is the brains of your friend group (oddly enough) - catches the looks of worry

so he does what any good friend would do, he tells all the remaining members he saw a machine with snacks out in the hall and they all excuse themselves with 'see you soon!'s' out of your hospital room

jeno doesn't move a muscle

"how was practice? jaemin looks happy so im guessing you guys are going to be in great shape when school starts again?"

there isn't any response and jeno is almost hidden with the way his head is hanging low and his hands are clasped on his knees

"jeno-"

"it's my fault you're in here."

you puff your cheeks and cross your legs

"oh please! it's my own fault! is that why you're acting all sad?"

he doesn't answer and the lack of communication is making you nervous more than it is making you angry

jeno and you are close, to the point of knowing each other's parents by their first names and who your first kisses were back in middle school

he has never been one to lack the words for a conversation - at least not with you

you wish you could scoot closer and pinch his cheek or poke his forehead

but your cast is restricting movement and these days touching jeno feels......different

"i should have stopped you before you went down that hill, i was there and i couldn't save you-"

"jeno, im not made of glass and plus im not even that hurt!"

he finally shifts so he can look at your leg, propped up on the pillow and covered in its cast that has been brightly decorated with signatures and doodles

the way his gaze travels up your hospital gown and to you, you know he isn't registering anything you're saying

you sit up a little and hide the wince behind another set of promises to jeno that you are ok and you don't need him to blame himself when he has so much more going on on his plate

"you and jaemin are going to graduate after the upcoming semester and that means it's your last year with the volleyball team. you should focus on practice and being the best you can be - when i can get myself up on those crutches ill come visit to see how you guys are doing!"

he seems to soften, the sharp angles of his face that have just gotten more handsome as he ages still somehow manage to look sweet and youthful

he picks his duffel bag up off the floor and leans toward you like he's going to push some hair from your face or kiss your forehead

he's done both before - but this is the first time the gesture has made the blood in your veins stop and something imaginary clog in the back of your throat

instead of doing either jeno seems to buffer as he hovers above you, reaching out to fluff the edge of your pillow

"ok, but also you have to be serious about your recovery."

he pulls back and the same concern as before washes over him, his vocal tone lowers

"don't go doing anything dangerous."

you point to your cast with a half-smile

"i don't think that's going to be possible."

you get discharged from the hospital the next day, not that it brightens your summer any further, you basically just end up trading the hospital bed for the four walls of your own room

the group chat explodes with more well wishes

but you change the subject, all the pity makes you cringe

'how was volleyball practice?'

several people start typing - except for jeno

jaemin's reply comes first, 'it was good!'

followed by jisung's, 'but.....jeno didn't show up...'

renjun adds 'he said he wasn't feeling well - don't worry!'

you furrow your eyebrows

'has anyone visited him? does he need medicine?'

haechan texts something before anyone can really stop him, 'im pretty sure he's just being sad - if he had the stomach flu we all be sick. we eat together everyday.'

'haechan!' mark replies as jaemin sends a shaking his head emoji

'wait. jeno is sad?'

it goes silent and then suddenly jeno is typing

'im not sad, im fine. ill be at practice tomorrow.'

you let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding in

it's only natural that you, as jeno's friend, would be worried about him. at least, that's what you tell yourself.

to be honest - now that you're not out enjoying summer - you're more than ever stuck with your own thoughts and the most recent string of them is: what changed between you and jeno?

for years it had been easy going fun, the simple enjoyment of each others company

but ever since it started getting warm enough for t-shirts - there has been a shift in the central point of you and jeno's friendship

you are suddenly hyper-aware of how strong the outline of his arms looks.

you notice when he wears different cologne.

you see the way other people turn their heads to look at him when he walks by, the way they pick up on the handsome features that make up your best friend

and you can't help but feel something cruel and cold fester in the pit of your stomach when you think jeno might one day look back at that stranger ..... and notice their features too

you sit up, which is a mistake because you shift your foot and it makes you yelp, but you look at your phone again

the gc has moved onto topics of video games so you message jeno outside of it

'hey, if something is wrong you can tell me'

he reads the message and doesn't reply. you tell yourself that's totally fine.

a couple of weeks pass before anyone lets you limp out of the house by yourself

you've mastered crutches and when you really need something, one of your friends delivers it

although recently, it seems to be everyone but jeno

everything otherwise seems normal

no one really talks about volleyball - which is fine, you just assume they're busy practicing

and so you hobble down to the school gym that's still open for the student-athletes during the break and are secretly happy to bump into mark who helps you with the stairs

"by the way, don't be upset with him ok."

mark says before you enter the gym - you look at him with a raised eyebrow

"upset with who?"

mark swallows - just tilts his head and when you go inside you look everywhere, you see everyone, but you don't see jeno

"im guessing he isn't in the locker rooms?"

you ask mark with a deflated tone of voice, mark shakes his head

"he hasn't been to practice at all."

you can understand why no one had told you.

like mark said, they knew you'd get on his case about it - which is what you plan on doing when you end up on his front porch

jeno comes down with messy hair and basketball shorts on. he's not wearing a shirt and immediately you think you lose the ability to speak

"you shouldn't be walking around just yet."

he says and you frown

"it's been a while now, plus im not here about me. im here to ask what you think you're doing."

jeno crosses his arms and you hate the involuntary flex of his muscles.

actually, you don't hate it, you hate that you stare when you don't mean to.

he ushers you into the backyard and motions for you to sit on one of the patio chairs

he's still being the same thoughtful guy you grew up with but you're beyond confused

"are you quitting volleyball - why aren't you going to practice?"

"im not quitting. i just don't feel like it - i don't feel like doing anything."

you reach out with one of your crutches to poke him, he makes a face

"im the one with a broken ankle - im the one who gets to be depressed. c'mon, tell me what's really wrong."

jeno falls silent, you notice that he hasn't completely shaved and there's a bit of a shadow on his jawline

you swallow the sudden dryness in your throat

this is your best friend since you were kids. you are literally not going to think anything but pure thoughts from now on. ok. stop. don't you dare.

"that's the thing. you have a broken ankle, you can't even go to the beach and im supposed to do what - enjoy the summer without my best friend?"

he throws his hands up and you see an expression you barely ever get from jeno form on his face

"i could have stopped you from being reckless, i could have made sure you weren't in that stupid cast and that you could-"

"jeno!"

you cut him off and he looks at you, the momentary distraction of your newfound attraction to him dissipates as you grind your teeth

"i told you that it's no way your fault i got hurt - plus it's not like you personally broke my ankle and im not suffering torturous pain. things happen like this in life - don't beat yourself up about it!"

you wish you could get up to make your point, but the best you manage is a shaky lift grabbing onto your chair

jeno gets up to help you but you shoo him away

"it hurts me more to see you moping around on my behalf! did you think about that, how it would make me feel to hear that my injury is making you slack on the things you like?!"

he blinks and you suddenly feel a rush of different things

one is that you hate how he seems to be so full of pity for you, another is that you hate how he's kind of right about this summer being pointless now that you can barely move, but the last is that because of all these things happening you can't even properly wrap your head around the fact that you think you like him

and not in the platonic way you'd been beating on liking him your whole life

so to add this to the pile - you take your crutches and give him a stern look

"just start going to practice. i told you when i was in the hospital, i'll always come to cheer you on when i can. that doesn't change for me, broken ankle or not because you're my best friend and i want to see you succeed."

and i love you

you don't say the last part, you bite your lip back and although you can't storm off in your usual fiery passion, you make it out of his backyard and let a heaviness fall off your chest as you somehow manage to get back home

the sound of messages incoming on your phone are drowned away by your tiredness

i just want to be a source of happiness for you, i never wanted to be your burden jeno.

the next day there's a knock on your bedroom door - you tell them to come in and go wide-eyed when you see jeno there

he's in his volleyball uniform and he's holding something in his hands

"jen-"

"im sorry. you were right, i can't use you as an excuse to be lazy anymore. i brought these."

he hands you the tupperware of cookies and you are about to ask him if he made these when jeno's familiar, warm laughter fills your room

"i didn't make them, they're chipsahoy but i thought the gesture could count."

you look down at them - he's so silly.

you look back up at jeno's smile - i really love him.

"good. now go have fun at practice, ill visit you guys later in the week."

he comes closer to you and suddenly the air in the room stills, he leans over and you think you can feel the temperature of your skin rise to an unsafe level when he hooks his pinkie with yours

"promise?"

you nod and he disappears with a wave. you sit in your bed and hold the cookies.

maybe breaking my ankle and not spending every minute around him might actually have been a good thing.

as you promised, you show up to practice at the end of the week.

jeno is there and he lights up when he sees you, helps you with your crutches and everyone gathers around to tell you how thankful they are that you went and got jeno to comeback

jisung randomly sputters a, "the only person who can control him is you. it's like he's your boyfriend."

mark catches the look on your face before jeno does and flicks jisung on the head, "what do you know about dating - c'mon lets go get water for everyone."

the comment swims around your head for the entire time you're there - and you don't know it, but it swims around jeno's as well

when practice is over, jaemin offers to drive everyone home - no one agrees because they're probably terrified of his driving

and jeno says he'll be the one to walk you home

it's nothing unusual, you've been with jeno throughout your whole childhood, but there seems to be a weird pause among your group when he announces it

when you and him set off toward your house, mark does something weird - he winks at you and you take a second before

oh - he knows i like jeno doesn't he?

you can only go at the of the equivalent of snail's pace, and jeno matches it without complaint

you don't say anything and it makes it that much harder to distract the chanting about how good he looks and how you can't believe you're that person who fell in love with their best friend and how this summer is so confusing its almost vomit-inducing and-

"hey, would it be weird if i liked you?"

it feels like the earth itself has been dropped from the shoulders of atlas, you think suddenly all the gravity has gone and disappeared

you stop and look at jeno who sets his bag down on the asphalt

the boy you met when you were young is suddenly not a boy anymore, his shadow is tall and mature against the setting summer sun

"liked me?"

he scratches the back of his neck and then nods

"i had said i can't use your injury as my excuse to be lazy. i actually wasn't being lazy, i was just going through a hard time because i thought i had hurt the person most important to me in the world."

your heart thumps against your chest so hard it kind of hurts

"me?"

"yeah, and i realized your friend can be the most important person in the world - but i think it's different the way i feel about now......i like you."

"i love you."

you blurt it out before you can even really stop yourself, jeno looks shocked for about a second before it breaks into a big smile on his face

the one you haven't seen in what seems like forever, the one that feels genuine and right

"oh cool, i actually love you too - i just didn't know if i should say it-"

"can you come over here and kiss me, these crutches are kind of making it hard for me."

no one is surprised when you and jeno announce in the gc that you're going on your first date

mark tries to act it, but literally everyone is like finally - you do ask mark if he knew all along about how you felt and he goes i knew how you felt and how jeno felt. you two are open books.

the date isn't as thrilling as you both might have wanted, the broken ankle is still kind of getting in the way, so jeno takes you out to the lake and does all the rowing himself

you offer, since it's your hands, but he insists he can do it himself and he does. seriously, he's way stronger than you remember him being a year ago.

you guys eat on the grass when you get back and he effortlessly picks you back up onto your feet, you swoon everytime but try not to show it

and when jeno drops you off - he kisses you again, and this time he doesn't have to have you tell him to - he picks the perfect moment

being his best friend and dating him doesn't change too much, it's just you're now holding hands everytime you hangout and you're kissing in the back of jaemin's car much to his disappointment and well

it's just made everything easier - you're not wrapped in your head about what's different, because nothing is, you just are honest with how you both feel

jeno and jaemin even get visited by scouts for volleyball and when jeno tells you about it you try to jump up to hug him and he's like bABE CAST but too late you're like OW and he's like oh god oh god let me hold you

you're like jeno let's learn to bake cookies for real so we don't have to buy chipsahoy to give each other and he's down for it but then you both almost set the kitchen on fire and call renjun like ten times to ask about the recipe and basically you are both banned from baking again

your cast gets filled in with hearts from jeno...you let him lay his head on you when he's playing games on his phone and you're like watching him play and when you get bored you're like let's kiss instead

jeno leaves all his hoodies 'accidentally' over at your house because he knows you like wearing them but won't admit it outloud

the summer continues on until suddenly it's colder outside and the reality of school coming back dawns on everyone

and also, you get the date for when your cast will be removed

jeno asks if you're going to keep it once it gets cracked - you say you might, you woulnd't want to lose all those cute hearts he scribbled on them and he just smiles and kisses your forehead

"i'd scribble all the hearts everywhere for you."

"that's cute, we should save that for when we get married."

and you do save it for then - years later when you're showing jeno the design on your invitations

beside both your names is a cluster of different hearts, all doodled by jeno himself

"how'd you get these?"

"kept a part of my broken cast."

he stares at you with wide eyes

"im joking, i got them off a napkin you doodled on when we were at dinner."

jeno pokes his tongue out at you and you giggle as he wraps his arms around your waist as to not let you get away

the softness of your love and silliness of your friendship is still there

it'll always be there - through all the broken ankles, casts, and doodled hearts to come.

#weeeeeee now i only have two neos left #nct dream au #jeno au #nct dream scenarios #jeno scenarios #nct dream imagines #jeno imagines #lee jeno #nct dream #sfw #nostalgia au #nct dream x reader #jeno x reader

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zulivaris · 3 years

Text

Art Block tips that helped me

I’ve recently experienced art block after 3 or so months of overcoming my last one. Thankfully this block only lasted a few days thanks to some things I’ve observed and noted down from the previous time. So I’m sharing these few tips in hopes that it might help someone get unstuck :D!

First and foremost if you’re tired, sad or anxious don’t be surprised that you can’t make art, go and take care of yourself by treating yourself with kindness and patience, the sketchbooks and canvases will wait for you :)

The tips are under here:

Separate art studies from the creative time: When you do art studies you’re there to focus on specific things, learn and understand how things work so you can apply them later in your art. Studies take a lot of energy and focus and are the opposite of the creative "flow” of making your own pieces. If you combine the two the results are either unfocused studies or stiff drawings. When you sit down at your desk ask yourself “Do I want to learn something new or do I want to create something of my own?”

When you have an idea don’t be afraid of being messy: Let’s say you want to make a picture of several cats kolo dancing in the moonlight. How do you go about doing this? Well since you came up with the idea you already have a vague image in your mind, sketch it out with simple shapes, stick figures, circle and spheres etc Don’t worry about cat anatomy, or the dancer’s moves, sketch out the essence of it. This method removes the need to be perfect or accurate.

Ok after the messy sketch then what? Well now that you have sketched out the essence of your idea (and hopefully had fun doing so) now you go on to look for references! You put the creative process on pause and you can do a few brief studies if you need to: anatomy, color schemes, values, poses. Pick out a few of your favorites but don't obsess over them, they are a guide, a tool.

You know much more than you think. You’ve probably been drawing for a few years now. You’ve probably done some studies and drawn more than one type of subject. Then you have already internalized some of that information. I used to be obsessed with capturing the minute detail of the subject, and not be able to draw ANYTHING without reference. Instead of a useful tool, references became another obstacle to my creativity. That’s perfectionism my friend, and that’s no good. Here is an exercise a good friend of mine offered: Draw a few characters, animals and objects from imagination. Make sure that the subjects have no personal value to you (no ocs for example) so that if you make a mistake you won’t feel bad about it. Make the process relaxed and comfortable, pour a nice cup of joe, listen to your favorite music ... You will notice that you do indeed know how to draw some things without reference, and it’ll help with your confidence.

The more you do studies the more you understand This seems evident but the more you understand your subject the freer you can be and the easier it’ll be to draw it from imagination in the future. If you really struggle with something to the point of frustration (as in you can’t get it right even with reference) It means you have to study it. Have a study list, for example: hands, perspective, color theory etc. And one of those days you want to study pick something from the list, and look for videos on youtube or useful sites like line of action etc. Only study one thing at the time. You can go from studying hands to studying arms since they’re more immediately connected, but you can’t study hands and then jump to learning perspective right after. Trust me you can learn perfectly fine with the resources online, and I’m sure you’re clever enough to do it :D

Mistakes don’t mean you “suck” I’ve noticed that the two most common causes for art block are perfectionism and lack of self-confidence. The two can often go in tandem which is worse :’D But let me remind you of something, you can fix your piece along the whole process. Use erasers, lasso tools, liquify , select, paint it all over etc If something looks off to you then you also know deep inside how to fix it. Useful ways to see what clunks: flip canvas horizontally (helps with placement, proportions), turn the image to grayscale (helps to check values and where your eye tends to look), look at your image in thumbnail size and ask yourself if it’s clear, see the pose’s silhouette and ask yourself if you can tell what the character is doing etc. Don’t fret, everything can always be fixed :)

Perfectionism, sometimes it stops you before you begin Perfectionism causes you to overwork a piece, it makes you draw less, it makes art stressful, it brings insecurity. Let’s remove it with a simple exercise. It can be combined with the “draw things from imagination” once you’ve drawn something you like: dont do line art, don’t shade it, keep it as simple and crude as possible and then...post it. Yes, post it. You’re not at your best? You’re only human, this will help you embrace that very human side of you. You make mistakes. So what? The more mistakes you make the more you know what you need to study and the better at art you become. Mistakes are there to show us what we need to learn. See them as another tool and not a sign of failure.

Make the process as enjoyable as possible: You like art. You love drawing. Never forget this. Otherwise why are you drawing if you don’t enjoy it? It’s easy to fall prey to the mentality of those relatable memes that “art= suffering” or “I can’t even draw the other eye”. No no no my friends, these messages are fueling your insecurities instead of overcoming them. Let me tell you what, art is fun. It is. Art is fun, because I decided to make it fun again. And you should decide on that too. Personally I adore lineart but my hand-eye coordination is lacking to do it digitally, so....I just skipped it. Yes. I skipped it. I do the sketch, I clean it up a bit and then jump onto color which I adore. It allowed me to draw more and more freely. When I draw I listen to music, make strokes with the rhythm, I take breaks often and I drink my favorite iced teas. If you don’t like coloring do it in grayscale, if you love lineart then do that etc It doesn’t mean you won’t learn your weak points in the future with studies and practice, but you won’t let your weaknesses prevent you from drawing at all. No no, you won’t let them. You draw because you want to, despite of them.

Don’t wait for inspiration, provoke it Inspiration is not a divine and capricious muse. You make inspiration. It’s easy just collect all the things you like, music, artists, objects, characters, animals, patterns, plants etc Make boards on pinterest or similar sites, combine things you like. You like suits? You like birds? You can draw a bird in a suit, or a bird-inspired suit design, there is frankly a lot of ideas that can spring up from little things like these.

When a project stops being enjoyable either pause it for now or move on to the next thing. Pieces aren’t precious. They’re not “the one time I got x right” they are one of many. This advice goes mainly to hobbyists who can afford the luxury of passing to a new project. I have a WIP of a character who is overly complicated (I enjoy a challenge from time to time) sitting for half a month. I sometimes come back to it and add something... but as soon as it starts to create discomfort and insecurity instead of enjoyment I move onto something else. In the meantime I created 3 or 4 new pieces. If I had waited on finishing that piece I would have been severely creatively and physically exhausted. The art comes from you, not inspiration. The more art you make the better you become.

That’s about it :D I know it’s long but I prefer to be thorough and cover all the possibilities. If you have read of this: Thank you so much I hope this helps you at least a bit, if it helps only 1 other person I’d still be very happy. Have a nice one, and kick art block’s butt!

#art block #art block tips #art block advice #art advice #art help #BloggityDiary #art reference #I hope this will help someone out #This will also help me remember my own advice sksksk

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reluctant-mandalore · 3 years

Note

may i request din finding out his s/o is a sith lord when they go to rescue grogu and later while cuddling have a “Tell me every terrible thing you’ve done and let me love you anyways” moment

Warnings: hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, cuddling, sith!reader, established relationship, playing with canon, kissing, not beta read.

Word Count: 3679

Pairing: Din Djarin x gn!Reader (also sith!Reader)

a/n: Hey anon!! Thank you so much for the request and sorry its taken so long for me to finish it! I hit a huge writing block with requests and decided to focus on other works. That combined with how busy school got, I fell super behind on fics. Anyway, the concept of sith!reader was really fun to explore and honestly it was something I wanted to explore long before I got this request. I might write a few other things for sith reader of y’all are interested. Otherwise I hope you all enjoy <3

Note: fic will be labeled as ‘secrets revealed’ on my masterlist and on ao3.

“Look at you darling! Switching sides must come really easily for you, hm?”

Moff Gideon’s words had echoed throughout the cockpit, his image flickering within the hologram that shined before the three of you currently stood there. A sharp pain of dread had bubbled within you at the weight of what he had said, unease finding itself littering within your thoughts as the meaning behind it had settled among you all. You knew eventually this would come up, but had you thought you would have more time before it did. Honestly you didn’t think it would be here so soon, otherwise you would have already prepared yourself for this discussion with the Mandalorian.

“What?”

“Oh you didn’t know Mando?” Moff Gideon had smirked, his smile the most sickening thing you had ever laid your sights on, “Your little friend there is a sith.”

The Mandalorian’s gaze had snapped to yours in an instant, confusion and concern held within its blistering depth. He didn’t know much in regards to the sith, but he had learned well enough about them in his time traveling with the child. He had heard the horrors of what they had done—the wars they had raged and slaughters they had committed—he knew that the sith weren’t good. In fact they were the exact opposite of good. The sith were dark and evil on all accounts.

“That… That’s not true.” He had said in disbelief, the idea of you being one of them seeming so unlikely to him. You had always been so sweet and kind, treating the child as if he was your own. Even caring for him and the Mandalorian as if you were family. You couldn’t be a sith. “He’s lying. Right cyar’ika?”

Unmistakable shame had consumed you at his words, and you had looked away from him at his pleading question. You couldn’t seem to form an answer, and honestly you didn’t know if you wanted to, especially not with how he was looking at you in the moment.

“Mando listen… I-”

“-And,” Gideon’s voice had cut you off, his enjoyment of your suffering in the situation clear in just his tone alone, “They’ve been working with me the entire time. Well. They were at least. Doesn’t seem like you’ll be bringing me the child anytime soon there, especially not when you’re playing house with a Mandalorian.”

At the imperial’s words, Din’s gaze had finally moved from yours and down to the child that was still held tightly in your arms. His fingers visibly twitching with the sudden need to snatch the little one from your grasp. His concern and worry was evident even with the helmet that shielded his expression from your view. The sight of which had only caused for your heart to crack with sadness at the mistrust he was sending your way.

“Well congratulations my dear sith lord on your happily ever after!” Gideon had said as he ended off his call with a laugh. The holopad shutting off soon after, and allowing for a deathly silence to fall over the room once more. The air of the small space now feeling tight, and almost suffocating, as you two stared at one another for what felt like an eternity.

The Mandalorian had approached you cautiously after some time. Every step he took calculated, and slower, the closer he got. He had soon nearly snatched the child from your grasp—almost as if touching you for even the slightest of seconds would have burned him—now shielding the little one away from your prying eyes, and whatever evil he must have thought you carried.

You couldn’t blame him of course. As you probably would have reacted in the same way if you were in his shoes, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see your beloved Mandalorian responding like this to the news. It hurt to see his mistrust in you.

“Din…”

“Let’s get out of here.” He had replied sternly, setting the child down in his own seat far away on the other side of the room, before motioning for you to take the other opposite one. “We need to get as far away from here as possible. Don’t want Gideon catching up.”

Another wave of pain had washed over you at his sudden coldness, causing your eyes to brim with tears, as you had nodded and followed the Mandalorian’s directions anyway. You didn’t have the heart to argue or even defend yourself at this time. Din was right after all, you three needed to leave the area as quickly as possible. The Imperial and his ship were surely close on your tail if he had felt the need to speak with you over the communicator.

The ride to the next planet was dreadfully quiet. Not even the child had cooed or chattered on the way there. Instead he had simply stared between you two with lowered ears and wide confused eyes. He had to have known something was going on, though it was unclear if he knew exactly what had been said and done.

Eventually the ship had landed flawlessly thanks to the Mandalorian’s piloting. Than a quick check of the area had made it apparent that you three had managed to escape the Empire’s hold once again.

You had watched as the Mandalorian fiddled with the control panel. He was making sure the ship was settled and secure just as he always did after landing, though this time you could see the unease in each of his movements. He hadn’t said a word to you yet, but you knew the two of you would have to talk about what happened sooner or later. Better now than never.

“Din I think we need to talk.”

“I’m putting the kid to bed.” He had stated simply, not even looking at you as he stood from his and made his way down to the hold with the child in toe, “It's way past his bedtime.”

You didn’t say anything in response to his words after he had left you alone in the cockpit. Instead you had chosen to move down into the hull and to your own cot silently, as you figured that you wouldn’t push him to talk tonight. Though of course, this reasoning of yours hadn’t stopped the feeling of guilt and despair settling firmly within your gut from the brisk interaction.

The sheets there were stiff and cold as you laid within them. Clearly they hadn’t been used in a long while, as you usually choose to share the sleeping quarters which belonged to the Mandalorian with him. Both of you had enjoyed the other's presence more than sleeping alone, and with your growing relationship, it just seemed normal for you two to begin sleeping in the same bed.

Tonight of course would be the first in a long time where you would be sleeping alone again.

From your cot you could take in the sight of Din rocking the child, as he tried to sooth the little one into resting. He had seemed to struggle with it tonight. The kid was far too restless to want to sleep any time soon—regardless of the long day he had just suffered through. You had watched the two of them for another moment, smiling sadly, before closing the curtain which had once provided you with privacy. Although tonight it had only felt like another wall between you and your family. Now existing only as a reminder of the details of your life you had hidden from them all this time.

Din had eventually managed to get the kid to lay down and sleep. A sigh of relief could be heard from the other side of the curtain that had separated your space from the surrounding area. More rustling and the clicking of metal could be heard shortly after. The sound of it making you realize that he was now getting himself ready for bed. You had figured he wouldn’t be coming to see you that night, but the confirmation had still felt icy to your heart, and you found yourself once again on the brink of crying.

That’s probably why the knock on the wall next to your cot was such a shock to you. It was Din’s usual way of asking for permission to enter your enclosed space. He was always kind and considerate, wanting to make sure that you were always comfortable regardless of whatever else had happened. Tonight seemed to be no different in this regard at least, and you took comfort in what little normality you could hold onto.

“You can come in.” You had answered quietly, propping yourself up as you watched him pull the curtain back to let himself in, forcing a smile at the sight of him entering. “Is the kid ok?”

The Mandalorian had already stripped himself down to his under clothes and helmet. The metal shield which still remained over his face was a clear sign that he had been feeling uncomfortable and uneasy in the moment. You two had been together for a long while now, and he had ended up showing you his face some months ago. It was still only a recent development in your blossoming relationship, and it was one you were sure you had just ruined for the man with your lies now unraveled.

No wonder he had chosen to keep it on this fateful night.

“He took longer to put down than usual.” He had said when your gaze had locked with his visor, though he had soon broken the contact all too quickly, looking away as he stood awkwardly before you. “He seems restless.”

“That’s surprising.” You had said, though your mind wondered if the child was so restless because he could tell his parents were currently at odds with one another. “You’d think after the long day he’s had he would be exhausted.”

The Mandalorian had only let out a grunt in reply, sitting himself next to you on the cot as another silence had fallen between you two. He had looked down to his hands, twiddling them nervously, as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. He had looked up again briefly, as if he was trying to gage your expression, or even understand what you must have been thinking, but he had ended up lowering his sight again before finally deciding on what to say to you.

“So you’re a sith lord.”

The way he had gone straight to the point had almost made you feel surprised, but knowing him well, meant knowing that he was one to never beat around the bush. This was especially true when it came to important topics or situations, and even more so when they involved the child.

“Well no—I mean yes—but it's complicated and…” You had trailed off, looking away from him again as you tried to piece together exactly what you had wanted to tell him. Although you knew you had to tell him the truth regardless of how you felt and how much you wish you could just bury your past away from his sight. “Yes. At least at one point I was, not really sure if I count as one now.”

“Why?”

“I… I don’t know.” You had said, another wave of guilt washing over you at your words. Honestly you had felt unsure of what to say, or even how to explain it all to him. It wasn’t as if you had planned for your life to have gone that way. “Din I’m so sorry”

The Mandalorian had looked over at you, his own confession clear in just his voice alone, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I mean… I’ve done terrible things.”

“So have I.”

“No Din.” You choked out a sob, your lip trembling between each word that was spoken between you two, finding that you weren’t able to keep your tears in any longer. “I’ve actually done unspeakable things. I’m quite literally the worst of the worst.”

To your shock, his arms had moved to pull you into his chest, and you had found yourself cradled there as he hummed in a calming manor. “Tell me everything Cyar’ika.”

Those words from your love were the last ones to bring your already crumbling walls down. Your confession soon spilling out of you like the fiercest of storms. It seemed to have no end as you had rambled all your wrong doings to the man before you. All the way from how you had fallen, to the mission you had received from moff Gideon, and everything in between—there was nothing that wasn’t revealed by you to him in that moment.

Every confession had only brought more tears to flow from you, and as they piled higher you knew you had become closer to losing the man you loved. You had expected him to be disgusted and furious. You had assumed he would toss you aside and leave you to wallow in your disgrace. Any sane person would have, and you wouldn’t blame them.

The Mandalorian had done the opposite though, instead choosing to hold you close to him, as you talked and talked. Your whole life and terrible deeds being fed to him one by one. Even then he had never let go of you—even when hearing the worst things you had ever done—he had just kept you held tight in his arms while listening.

Eventually your words had died out, your confession of sins over as you now silently cried in his arms. His embrace had remained as a calming presence, and his shoulder had become a sturdy place for you to cry into, as you only broke down further into his arms. His hand had gently run soothingly circles along your spine—the same way that you had done for him on some of his worst nights—and his voice had been soft as he spoke reassurance to you in the most softest of tones.

“I’m sorry.” You had mumbled again into his chest. “Din I’m so sorry about everything.”

“Was what he said true? About the child and your mission.” Din had asked, whatever he was feeling now unreadable, as he had waited for your response.

You had only nodded in reply at first, burying your face farther into the crook of his neck, though you knew you did not deserve such a comfort. “It is. All of it. I was supposed to take him from you after earning your trust and then take him back to Moff Gideon—leaving you for dead.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Din’s question had made you pull back and look away. A wave of heat washing over you at the answer which danced at the tip of your tongue. He had waited patiently for your reply though, allowing you to take as much time as you needed to form your thoughts together properly.

“Because I fell in love with you. I love you so much Din.” You had whispered as you looked back to him. His grip on you only tightening at hearing those words leave your lips. “I fell in love with you and the child. You’re the most important things to me. I’ve never had a family before now, but you two… you both treated me as such without a second thought.”

A sound of the child crying had interrupted you both before Din could form a reply, and he had found himself letting go of you, so he could stand and go to sooth the little one. You had quickly stopped him though, looking up at him through pleading and tear stained eyes.

“I… can I? Please?”

Din had stared at you for a moment, and it felt as if you would combust on the spot if he didn’t answer soon. After a brief silence, he had moved his own hand to brush away the tears on your cheek. The feeling of his skin against yours a comfort that you had found yourself leaning into while also basking in the warmth it had brought.

“Of course cyar’ika.”

From his words, you had soon stood and quickly made your way to the child. Even sooner, you had scooped the crying infant into your arms, rocking him back and worth, as you did your best to soothe him. A quiet and soft hum leaving you as you calmed the little child wailing in your arms.

The Mandalorian had watched from the sidelines, his heart swelling and overflowing with his fondness at the sight of the two of you together. He had continued watching even after the child’s cries had subsided, his gaze never leaving you two, as you had tucked the little creature back into his bed. He had soon stood again from the cot after that, quietly removing the helmet he wore and setting it to the side, before making his way over to where you still stood watching over the resting child.

“I love you too cyar’ika.” He had whispered when his body pressed into yours, his breath ghosting over your ear, as he pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of your neck. The scuff on his chin tickling you and sending another flush of warmth to coarse through your form again.

A small gasp had left your lips at his sudden touch and a few stray tears had formed at the corner of your eyes once more. “Din I… are you sure?”

“Of course.”

“Even after everything I told you?” You had turned in his arms and felt your grip tighten along his own. Your eyes searching his for any doubt that they may have held, but instead only finding his undeniable love and fondness staring back at you within his brown hues. “Do you really still love me?”

“Yes cyar’ika. I still love you.” He had said, a small smile gracing his lips, as he nuzzled his nose against your own. “I never stopped.”

“But earlier...”

“I won’t lie, I was concerned and worried after hearing what Moff Gideon had said.” He had confessed, looking away almost shamefully, “I was scared that everything between us was a lie, and I feared that the child was in danger, or maybe had been for longer than I thought he was. I was afraid cyar’ika. I’m sorry.”

You had looked away again, another ping of guilt blossoming within your heart at the sadness you had heard in his voice, “I… Din I don’t know what to say honestly. Other than the fact that it's not you who should be apologizing.”

“Don’t be like that cyar’ika.” He had said gently, allowing himself to press another kiss to your forehead. “Now come on. It’s late, and you look exhausted.”

The Mandalorian had soon guided you to the cot again, and you had found yourself settled against his chest while wrapped tightly in his arms. Out of the corner of your eye, you could still see where the child slept soundly, and you had found yourself watching over him as you both laid there together in the darkness. The sound of the littles snores from the small creature, having brought a small smile to your face, before your mind had begun to wander back to earlier times.

“He knows.” You had said out of the blue, your tired voice causing the man’s eyes to flicker open and glance back down to you in his arms.

“Who?”

“The child.” You had replied, finally looking away from where the child slept, as you played and toyed anxiously with Din’s fingers that had intertwined themselves with yours. “He must have felt it through the force. He could always tell what I was, and could always sense the darkness within me. He’s always known.”

“Hm. Is that why he didn’t like you at first?” Din had teased, and you felt his lips smile against your skin where they had rested themselves earlier.

“Probably.” You had allowed yourself to chuckle at the thought. The little creature really hadn’t liked you at first, always throwing up a fit and glaring at you when he thought you had gotten too close to Din. “I don’t blame him, the sith and jedi aren’t exactly on good terms.”

“So I’ve heard.”

A smile played on your lips at his reply, and you snuggled yourself more into his chest at the feeling of his hand trailing along your back. The circles he drew causing small shivers and a wave of warmth to flow through you again. The gesture having relaxed you and allowed for your thoughts to teeter on the edge of sleep.

“I meant what I said you know? About everything.” You had mumbled with another yawn, as your eyes struggled to stay open, “I really do love you and Grogu.”

“I know, and we both love you as well.” Din had shushed you, allowing himself to kiss your forehead and mumble his own reassurance again. “Now get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning once you’ve rested, ok?”

You had nodded, resisting the tears that had tried to fall from your eyes again, as you had completely relaxed into his arms now. The need for sleep pulling you closer and closer to the dreamland you had so desired in the moment.

Din on the other hand had continued to draw shapes along your back, his eyes closed, as he murmured and hummed the sweetest of things into the kisses he left along your skin. Somewhere deep inside of your soul you had felt as if you didn’t deserve his kindness and love, but you had found yourself drowning within his affections anyway, clinging to his presence in a refusal to let it go.

The Mandalorian had no plans of letting you go anyway. He would hold you within his embrace and love you for as long as you allowed him to. Through the bad and the good—he’d be by your side even through the toughest of times. After all, you were a part of his little clan of three, and regardless of your past—he loved you like no other.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #mando #din #din x reader #mandalorian #mandalorian x reader #sith!reader #gender neutral reader #my fics #requests #star wars #star wars fanfic #the mandaloran fanfic

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coffee-and-quill · 3 years

Text

Birthday Wishes Pt. 2

Stucky x Reader: You have been feeling neglected lately, but Bucky and Steve promised they would be there for your birthday. When they don’t show up, you are left feeling broken, and they are left wondering how they will every make it up to you

Authors Note: It took a long time to figure out how I wanted to end this. Relationships are hard, they are constant work and give/take. It takes communication and understanding for all parties to feel heard and loved. I hope y’all enjoy, and please let me know if there’s anything else you would like to see from me!

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It had been three weeks since Steve had seen you, talked to you, held you in his arms. Three weeks of radio silence, and it was killing him. He and Bucky had gone to your parent’s house the morning after they discovered you were missing. As if they weren’t feeling awful enough, the icy look your mother had given them so different from the warm, caring smile they were used to, sent shockwaves through their chests. Steve had begged to talk to you, but your mother had told them that you had left early that morning. You were going somewhere they couldn’t find you or bother you. When Bucky had tried to get more information, she had slammed the door in their faces.

It took two more days of searching and desperation to figure out that Tony had helped you go completely off grid. “It’s not my place to tell you where she is, you shouldn’t have fucked up this bad,” the billionaire had told them when they tried to force your location out of him. He wasn’t wrong, and that set a heavy weight on their chests like nothing they had never felt before.

Steve tried to go back to work, but every time he tried to buckle down and focus, or to accept a mission, he thought of your face. What if you wanted to talk to them? What if you came back and he was so caught up in his work again that he lost you for good? He might have already lost you, and the thought alone was enough to bring him to his knees gasping for breath. He felt small, smaller than he’d ever felt in his life. He would take being a sickly, scrawny kid in the 40s over these feelings any day. It got to the point where Fury told him to go home and not come back until his head was in the game again. “At this rate,” the director had grumbled, “You’re likely to get yourself or someone else seriously hurt if you continue as you are.” Steve didn’t argue. Instead, he slumped home, collapsed on the couch, and sobbed. Pain and heartbreak were the only things he knew anymore.

Bucky was no better. After the acceptance that there was no finding you until you wanted to be found, the former assassin completely shut down. He barely ate and never slept anymore. How could he when there was the constant reminder that you were no longer in his life, no longer snuggled safely between Steve and him. The nightmares came back full force. He had almost forgotten what it was like to wake up screaming in a cold sweat. Now, instead of visuals of Hydra and the chair, and the blood and death that followed him like a storm, he had nightmare of you telling him you were done with him. You told him with a stone face that you’d never loved him, that you could never love a murderer, and you left with him begging and screaming on the floor. During the day he stayed in bed. He felt useless and weak, so, so weak. He was used to suffering, used to the constant weight of guilt on his chest. But this, this feeling, this guilt was far worse. People are constantly telling him that his actions as the Winter Soldier were not his fault, but this was all on him. There was no scapegoat, no evil organizations pulling the strings, no excuses, no one else to blame but himself. He was the reason you were gone, and it was destroying him.

()()()()()()()()()

Three weeks, and you were feeling like absolute shit. You barely slept, ate only what you could unwrap in seconds, and you’re pretty sure you haven’t showered in at least a week. You couldn’t tell what day it was; time seemed to slip and slide together in a meaningless fuzz in your mind. Most days found you on the small couch of the cabin Tony had so graciously offered you, the TV on a low hum in the background playing some sort of celebrity reality program. Not that you really cared. Nothing really held your interest for long anyway. Your thoughts were stuck back in your apartment with your boys. You kept replaying the better times over and over, trying to figure out where you went wrong.

Back when you first got together, Steve and Bucky had been so sweet, so shy when bringing up the idea, so afraid that you would turn them away and they would lose the best thing that had happened to them since they were reunited. When you told them you wanted to give it a try, they had been ecstatic. Their excitement was infectious, buzzing around you like two overenergized puppies who had just been given the best treats of their lives. Those first few months had been blissful, none of you willing to be parted from the other longer than a day or so. You went on dates, ate crappy Chinese food together, snuggled up to each other on the cold nights.

You were crying again thinking about those times. You missed being with your boys more than ever, missed the connection and the feeling of safety and security. You missed the two people who knew you better than you could ever know yourself. You had been stuck on a loop for the past three weeks. Where did it go wrong? When did it happen and how did you not notice? Was it you? God, if you could only talk to them. You had so many questions, so many concerns. Mostly, however, you just wanted a hug. You just wanted to be held between your Stevie and your Bucky and you wanted to feel loved.

It had been around midday, after shoving down a lukewarm hot pocket, that you heard the front door of the cabin click open.

“Damn,” came the snarky voice of Tony Stark, “You look worse than I did after that one Easter party I threw.” Even through the fog in your brain, you couldn’t help but smile.

“That was your own fault, Stark,” you sassed, “Who the hell takes that many tequila shots at a brunch party?”

The billionaire scoffed. “Obviously you have no sense of danger, babe.” You flipped him the finger. “So,” he said, lifting your feet up so he could make himself comfortable on the cushy couch, “It’s obvious to me and to literally everyone else that something went on between you and the two super stooges back home. And by the way they have been moping around the tower and by the grease buildup in Barnes’ hair, they are fairing about as well as you.”

Your ears perked up at the information. You should feel satisfied that Steve and Bucky were feeling miserable for what they did. You should feel relieved that they are getting a taste of what they put you through. Instead, you just felt your heart sink into your stomach. No matter how angry you were at them, you could never stand the thought of them in pain.

“I’m not saying the two don’t deserve it,” Tony continued, “I’m just saying that if your going to make them suffer, at least do it in a way that you aren’t suffering as well.”

“I don’t want to make them suffer,” came you soft reply.

“No?”

“I was hurt.” The tears that had been gathering in your eye dripped down your face at your watery tone. “I was hurt, and angry, and I just felt like I had to run to escape those feelings, so I came here. But the longer I stayed, the less hurt and angry I felt. And then the sadness and loneliness came and I felt like I was drowning, and all I wanted was to be back with them. But I had already stayed away for so long. What if they don’t want me anymore? Or they think we can fix things? What if they realize they aren’t willing to try, Tony? I don’t think I could handle that.”

Tony scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a huge breath. “I can’t answer those questions for you, sweetheart. Lord knows if I could take the pain away, I would. But nothing is going to happen with you sitting here and refusing to talk to them.” You nodded, knowing that what he was saying was logical. You couldn’t solve anything by sitting around and moping, and lord knows you won’t solve anything by running away.

You took a deep breath “Ok. I’m ready to come home.”

“Good.” Tony stood up and adjusted his suit. “Because honestly, the boys have start loitering outside my lab looking like a couple of drowned kittens, and it’s depressing everyone.” He held out his hand for you, which you graciously took, standing and hissing out your cramped muscles. Tony took one step towards the door before stopping suddenly and turning back. “Maybe you should shower first. You stink like that casserole Clint tried to make for dinner that one time.”

Tony barely dodged the chipped mug thrown at his head.

()()()()()()()()()

When you showed up to the apartment you shared with Bucky and Steve, your nerves had been on fire. Steve had opened the door looking he hadn’t slept since you had seen him last. His eyes widened and his arms twitched towards you instinctively, wanting to wrap you in in them and never let go. He held himself back, though it left a deep ache in his chest to do so. You wanted nothing more to go to him, to card you fingers through his hair and reassure him that everything was fine, that you were here and you would never leave again. You had to clutch the straps of your bag until your knuckles were white to stop yourself.

“We need to talk.” Your voice was small, fragile. You wanted to run and hide all over again, but you knew this needed to be done. Steve nodded jerkily, widening the door to allow you to enter. Visually, everything looked the same; the couch was in the living room, blankets thrown haphazardly across the back, and the table sat in the kitchen with its three mismatched chairs and well-loved surface. However, as you moved further into the space, you noticed a staleness to the air that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t a home anymore, and the thought made you frown deeply.

Steve closed the door softly behind you. “I’ll go get Bucky,” he murmured, and you shivered. God help you, you were so in love with these men. Even tired and beat down, Steve’s voice still had an effect on you. It reminded you of soft kisses over bare skin in the early morning hours before the rest of the world was awake, of tender love and honey sweet words spoken between breathy moans.

You pushed the memory to the back of your mind as Steve reentered, Bucky following close behind. You felt your breath catch at his appearance. He looked broken. Dark circles fell under lightless eyes, the grief and despair that sat heavy on his shoulders was visible in the hunch he wore, as if he was being physically crushed by its weight. You could have honestly cried if it were a different situation.

At the sight of you standing in the living room, he cracked a smile that looked almost painful. “Hey, Doll. I missed you,” he rasped. Hi voice was scratchy and rough from crying. Despite the somber tension that hung in the room like mist, you felt a sense of peace wash over you at the presence of your boys. Despite your nerves, despite your fears and reservations, you smiled at them. The tension melted from Bucky and Steve’s shoulders, and you knew everything would be okay. You could do this.

()()()()()()()()()

The three of you spent hours talking. You told them everything: your fear of being left behind and forgotten, your frustrations with always feeling second place to the duties as avengers, the anger of that night and the emotions of the last three weeks. In turn, they shared their guilt and frustration at their own actions. They told you how they felt that being avengers was the only thing they could do to help people, it was the only thing they knew, and they had been scared to deviate from that routine, even when it had started pushing you away. They shared the fear they felt at finding you gone, and the terror and grief that had set in when they realized you might not come back and that was it for the three of you. Finally, they shared their confession that nothing they had done or would ever do as avengers would be more important than you. They wanted to change, to get better. They wanted to do it for you.

What started as you sitting across from them quickly transitioned into the three of you cuddled together on the couch, seemingly one entity. Weeks of no contact had starved the boys of your touch, and they couldn’t remove themselves from you if they wanted to. Bucky lay across you legs with his head in your lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. You hand was tangled in his hair, massaging the base of his skull. Your other hand was gripped tightly in Steve’s as you leaned back into his broad chest. His blond head rested comfortably on your shoulder, turned inward to whisper his apologies into the exposed skin of your neck. Every once and a while he would leave a lingering kiss there, the skin tingling nonstop from the feel of his lips. You felt more relaxed than you had in weeks. That night you fell asleep in your bed, bracketed by the two most important people in your life. You would be okay.

#stucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark

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wheezyandchesterwrite · 3 years

Text

"Please don't leave me" ~ Peter Parker

Summary: When you are injured in battle Peter begs you to stay

Word Count: 3.4k

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Speedster!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence, death, injuries, and blood. Just overall sad. (If we missed something that you feel should be tagged and/or mentioned let us now and we'll include it)

A/N: Hey, so as you can see we are not dead! :) (I don't know why I did that it hurt me too ok?) Since there was no post in March we are going to try our best to post two other one shots this month, but we'll see how that goes. Hope you all enjoy this and have a great morning/afternoon/night! -W&C :)

Also major thanks to @apotatoinabigfield and @too-attached-to-fiction for proofreading and beta-reading this!

*GIF IS NOT OURS* (We got it off of Google, but if anyone knows who the credits for it belong to let us know so we can rightfully tag them)

5 years ago:

“Something’s happening,” said the girl with the antennae, Mantis. At least, that’s what she had said her name was. Suddenly after, she turned to dust. She just disappeared. In shock, you got closer to Peter, looking for some kind of safety or comfort. Everyone was shocked; no one could understand what had just occurred before your very eyes. Before anyone could say something or even gather their thoughts, it happened again.

“Quill?” was the last thing Drax said before suffering the same fate as Mantis. We lost. That was the only explanation you could fathom. The Avengers had lost and Thanos won. You tightened your grip around Peter, fully embracing him now. You were all desperately trying to decipher who would be next, fearing it being yourselves or your loved ones, but it was pointless. Whatever was causing this came and left without a warning.

“Steady, Quill,” said Tony, but it was to no avail.

“Oh, man,” sighed the man who had introduced himself as Starlord, dusting away defeatedly. You looked up at Peter, who had wrapped his arms around you in a protective manner. He was scared, that much you could tell, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes, determined to conceal the unsettling fear of not being able to hold you for much longer. You tried to convince yourself it was done—that no one else would be taken—but it was pointless. Deep down, you knew this was far from over.

“Tony,” the man turned to look at Strange, “there was no other way.” Stephen Strange took a couple more breaths before dusting away like the others had. Although Strange had said he saw over sixty-three billion outcomes, you couldn’t see how this could be the one you won in. It definitely didn’t feel like it.

Suddenly, breathing became hard. You saw dust particles floating from your hand and the reality of what was going to happen hit you. “No,” you whispered anguishly.

“(Y/N)?” Peter brought your attention to him instead of the particles which declared your fate.

“Pete, I—” you started as you reached up to stroke his cheek, but before you could come in contact with his skin or finish your declaration, you faded away in his arms.

“I know,” the boy said softly as he watched the wind carry what was once his lover.

Tony was at loss for words. He felt like the universe was playing a sick, twisted prank on him. As Tony sulked, Peter felt it. He felt his spidey sense warn him that something was going to happen. He could feel his body struggle to keep him in one piece, to keep him together, to keep him alive. No matter how quickly his body fought, it was destined to lose. “Mr. Stark,” the boy called out to the man who was more than his mentor, the man who had become like a father to him.. “I don’t feel so good,” he painfully admitted. Peter started stumbling around, his legs struggling to keep him up.

“You’re alright,” defied Stark. More than an attempt to console the boy, Tony Stark was trying to reassure himself that the universe, as cruel as it had always been to him, wouldn't do this—that it would not take his boy away. But alas, the genius man was to be proven wrong.

“I— I don’t know what’s happening. I— I don’t understand,” countered the Spiderboy hurriedly. His feet gave out, and he would’ve fallen forward if it hadn’t been for Tony catching him and holding him up. More and more particles could be seen emerging from the boy, and in that moment, the only thing Tony could do was hold on to Peter for as long as he had left.

“I don’t wanna go,” Peter pleaded. “I don’t wanna go, Mr. Stark, please.” His voice was cracking and his legs couldn’t support him any longer as more particles escaped him. Peter’s pleas wouldn’t cease much like the cracks in his voice every time he spoke. Tony lowered him to the ground not daring to say a word. Peter, with teary, bloodshot eyes, looked at the man and whispered an apology before finally letting his body dissipate.

Tony couldn’t speak; he couldn’t even think. “He did it,” said Nebula. Yet the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist didn’t respond. He just looked at his hand, which was covered in dirt—dirt that had once been Peter Parker. Tony let himself cry, allowing grief and shock to take over him. After all there was nothing else he could do.

***

Present day:

“Love you—wait, what happened?” You find yourself reaching up, but the person you had been trying to touch no longer stood in front of you. Your body was slowly regaining feeling, but your mind felt as numb as ever. You had so many thoughts running through your brain at such a speed that you couldn’t focus on any of them.

“I love you too, Speedy.” You heard a voice answer from behind you. You felt some of the anxiety subside once you put a name to the voice, which was easy since only one person in the entire world called you Speedy.

“Peter,” you exhaled in relief. Turning around in an instant, you ran into the arms you had chosen to call home. Peter embraced you tightly, not wanting to release the other in fear of permanently losing one another this time. You didn’t know how much time had passed from when you lost your consciousness, but that didn’t matter for Peter. Seeing the person he had deemed to be his soulmate dissipate in front him had been more than enough for him to feel like the amount of time that had passed between then and now had been an eternity. Suddenly, Strange spoke up, answering the question plaguing everyone’s minds.

“It’s been five years. Come on, they need us.” He stated commandingly. You all shared looks of dumbfoundment and bewilderment. Five years? How could that have been possible? The only one on the planet you stood on who looked at ease was Stephen, his calm demeanor never faltering. You looked up at Peter confused, but he simply shrugged, not wanting to believe such time had passed yet knowing better than to contradict Dr. Strange.

“Okay, everyone, this is it. Activate your badass stances!” exclaimed Quill.

“What did you say about my ass, Quill?” Drax started charging towards him, visibly offended. You raced to wedge yourself between the two men, struggling to keep them apart.

“Hey, no time for that. Look!” You called over their attention to the portal Strange was opening in front of you. Peter swung his way to the front, landing elegantly. After making sure Quill and Drax would not try to go at each other's throats, you swiftly made your way to the front and stood beside Peter.

Glancing around what was going to serve as your battlefield for today, you grimly recognized the location. What was once known as the Avenger’s Headquarters was now no more than a field of scattered debris. Clouds of dust littered the air, the remains of mass destruction visible wherever you looked. You gave yourself a chase to take in the sight of Thanos’ army, and as you did so, fear and worry tried to etch their way into your brain as you realized what you were facing. This was an enemy that had already defeated you once, and when you had fought him, he hadn't even had an army backing him up. Your determination and will to fight and live to tell the tale overpowered those negative feelings. The sight of the spaceship filled you with spitefulness instead of dread, and you knew in that moment that you would do whatever it took to win. The Avengers would not lose again; you were going to make sure of that, even if you had to lay down your life for it to become a reality.

“Is that everyone?” Strange asked Wong.

“What, you wanted more?” Wong yelled back in disbelief, and Strange shrugged nonchalantly in response.

As everyone settled into position, Cap’s voice was loudly heard, like thunder rumbling through the field, “AVENGERS.” This was the moment of truth—your last chance to save humanity. You could feel the seconds pass before Steve gave the signal, “Assemble.” And with that, everyone was off.

A beautiful and empowering mess of battle cries could be heard around you. You, on the other hand, were silent as you ran, calculating your every move. Using all the knowledge you’d gained over the years about hand-in-hand combat, you started to hastily assassinate those monsters. You would jump at one, taking them down, and godspeed to your next target, sending each one you came in contact with on a one way trip to meet their maker. Near you, Peter was also taking out some of the Chitauri, at times propelling you onto your next target or eliminating some of them when you got surrounded. After clearing out most of the aliens near you, Peter tapped you on the shoulder and pointed to Tony. Understanding his intentions, you nodded and made your way towards the infamous Iron Man.

As you slid into the crater where Tony lay, Peter landed from his swinging. Tony stared at the two of you in disbelief, doubting whether or not to believe you were actually there. When his expression softened, and tender affection spread across his factions, Peter began rambling, and you shook off some of the concrete dust from your suit. “Hey, holy cow! You will not believe what’s going on,” Peter exclaimed as he helped Tony stand up.

“No?” Tony asked sarcastically, but it only encouraged you.

“Do you remember when we were in space? And we got all dusty? I guess we must’ve passed out because when we woke up, you were gone.” You now stood beside Peter as you spoke, your hands increasing their pace as you rambled on, making them impossible to follow with the human eye.

“But Doctor Strange was there right? He was like ‘It’s been five years. Come on they need us,’” Peter said as he tried to make an impression of Strange, mimicking the way the man had moved his hands when opening the portals.

“Yeah, and then he started doing the yellow sparkly thing he does all the time.” You took over from Pete when he gave you the chance.

“He did? Oh, God!” Tony exclaimed with feigned incredulity. He started walking toward you and grabbed you both by the shoulder, pushing you into him.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked, bewildered.

“Huh, what’s this?” You questioned, confused as Tony engulfed you both simultaneously. He held you tightly, and when the shock passed, you and Peter hugged the man back even tighter.

“Oh, this is nice.” Peter sighed, earning a light chuckle from Stark.

“Listen, kids, we don’t have a lot of time right now, but I’ll catch you up on the latest trends once we take this bitch down. Okay?” Tony assured as he released you, holding on to your forearm to look the both of you in the eyes as he spoke.

“Yes, sir.” Peter saluted.

“See you on the other side of the war.” You smirked, knowing Tony and Peter must have caught that reference. Tony shook his head as he took off, the ghost of a grin barely noticeable on his lips.

Peter nudged you. “Be careful, okay?” His eyes showed genuine concern.

“Alright, I solemnly swear—” Peter gave you a warning look. “Okay, fine. I’ll try my best to be as careful as possible in the middle of a battle.” You finished, your tone a weird mixture between sarcasm and affection.

“Good.” He pressed a quick kiss to your temple before taking off.

“Alright, Chitauri, give me your best shot.” You smirked at the unsuspecting figure that was currently fighting off T’challa. Having speed and regeneration to your advantage, you zig-zagged around Thanos’ army, ducking and killing as you went. You moved with precision, only stopping when you were sure to have a clear shot at the enemy you were targeting.

You went on that way until you weren’t able to dodge a body that dropped in front of you, making you trip over it. The collision made you roll down a mountain of debris, hitting your head dangerously hard several times, as well as getting a couple of cuts along the way from the exposed, sharp metal.

“That’s sure to give me a concussion,” you grunted to yourself. The throbbing of your head distracted you from the burn of the cuts that now littered your abdomen, some deeper than others. It wasn’t until you brought a hand to your head, that you noticed the crimson liquid that coated it. “Oh, shit,” you exhaled. The pain was starting to catch up to you as the adrenaline subsided. You tried to use your powers to find yourself a safe spot until you recovered, but your attempts were futile seeing as the pain coursing through your body rendered you immobile.

“Is that Peter falling?” The figure you saw was indeed Peter and the sharp spiderlegs of his suits were still out for blood. You managed to move just enough that you were barely graced, another gash prompting blood out of your system. Peter tumbled in the opposite direction, clutching what you assumed to be the gauntlet you were supposed to keep out of Thanos’ hands. The sudden movements to dodge Peter hadn’t come without consequences. You felt like your surroundings were spiralling around you, dizziness overtaking you as you started to cough up blood. You managed to stubbornly sit up and when you looked to your side, you saw Peter giving the gauntlet to a glowing woman.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna get it through all that,” you heard him admit to her out of breath.

“Don’t worry,” Wanda stepped in.

“She’s got help,” Okoye finished, her hands wrapped tightly around her spear. Soon the rest of the women joined and took off together. It was a powerful moment to witness and one you would’ve loved to be a part of, if it weren’t for your current situation. You closed your eyes in a somewhat successful effort to ease off the pain pulsating in your head.

“Man, those are some badass women,” Peter muttered as he sat down. “Wait—” He quickly looked around, but missed you completely. “Where’s my badass woman?” Peter frantically shuffled to his feet, hoping to see a flash of yellow zoom by, but no such luck. You tried to call out to him, wanting to let him know you were there, but your voice got caught in your throat, replaced by a cough that was followed by blood. The sound caught Peter’s attention, his gaze trying to find where it came from. His heart constricted in his chest when he finally caught sight of you and the state you were in.

In a flash, he was hovering over you, putting your own abilities to shame given the speed at which he got to you. Your eyes were still closed, as you relished the relief it gave you, but you were drifting off at this point and didn’t have the energy nor strength to open them again. That was until Peter started shaking you awake. “(Y/N)? Oh God, come on, please be okay.” You could hear the panic and desperation in his voice. Your eyes felt so heavy, it was almost impossible to open them, but you managed to do so, just enough to see Peter exhale in relief after seeing you respond.

Tucked away behind blood and dryness, you managed to find your voice and you raspily told him, “I’m okay, Peter. It’ll heal. Go help the others.” You took ragged breaths between each sentence, your lungs struggling to keep up. Peter could very much tell you weren’t okay and knew that with the amount of injuries you had suffered it was almost impossible for your regenerative abilities to save you.

“(Y/N), we both know that’s not happening; it’s too much. I mean, it might heal, but there are too many things to heal for you to survive waiting and—” He abruptly stopped his own rambling after he noticed you had closed your eyes again. “(Y/N)? (Y/N), please, stay with me.”

His voice was breaking and his eyes were starting to swell up with tears. It broke your heart to hear him like this. You fought to stay conscious, for his sake, but the blood loss and pain was becoming too great to bear and you felt yourself falling into a deep slumber once more.

Peter was getting desperate, tears freely flowing down his cheeks now. “Please, (Y/N/N), please don’t leave me.” He held your body close to his, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Sobs rocked his body as he kept begging for you to stay. His voice and your tear stained neck was the last thing you registered before you let go and fell into the dark abyss of unconsciousness.

***

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always roll that way. Maybe this time, I’m hoping if you play this back, it’s in celebration. I hope families are reunited, I hope we get it back, and something like a normal version of the planet has been restored. If there was ever such a thing. God, what a world! Universe, now. If you told me ten years ago that we weren’t alone, let alone, you know, to this extent, I mean I wouldn’t have been surprised. But come on, you know? The epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And for better or for worse, that’s the reality Morgan’s gonna have to find a way to grow up in. So, I thought I’d probably better record a little greeting... In case of an untimely death on my part. I mean, not that death at any time isn’t untimely. This time travel thing that we’re gonna try and pull off tomorrow, it’s—it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of it all—that’s the thing. Then again, that’s the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I even trippin’ for? Everything’s gonna work out exactly the way it’s supposed to. I love you 3,000.”

Pepper walked out of the cabin she and Tony had called home, holding a wreath that in its middle held Tony’s first arc reactor. Everyone stood out in front of the lake, waiting as she gently placed it on the water. She took her place beside Peter, who was silently crying as he held your emotionally devastated self in his arms. Having passed out when you did had ultimately saved your life, your body using its remaining energy in healing you rather than keeping you awake, but that meant you missed the events that led up to your victory and were therefore unable to say a proper farewell to the man who served as your mentor for years.

Waking up to the news that the man who had taken better care of you and had looked out for you more than your own parents was dead didn’t settle in easily. It took a while before you were able to accept he was gone.

Peter had been there for you every step of the way, holding you during all the sleepless nights you had spent crying and shaking you awake when your dreams became plagued with nightmares from the battle. Guilt had made a home in your heart, the feeling never leaving as you thought of ways you could have avoided getting injured, ways you could have fought better, ways that could have resulted in being able to say goodbye to Tony Stark, the man who sacrificed himself for the universe.

Everyone stood silently as you all watched the wreath float out of sight, before turning to share your condolences with each other. You held on to Peter tightly, as if he too were to slip from your fingers at any moment. You stood there mindlessly listening in on the nostalgic conversations between the people who cared for Tony. Looking around at everyone gathered, it became clear that the arc reactor which was now floating off in the lake was not the only proof that Tony Stark had a heart. All his friends, colleagues, family and adopted students were walking proof that not only did Tony Stark have a heart, but that he had the biggest heart a human could possibly have.

Taglist: @steveisherdaddy @apotatoinabigfield @xlostinobsessionsx @izjustafaze @yourlocalwhitemanwhore

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callmecyan · 3 years

Text

Tw/Cw: Major character death (its 3rd life and a canonical death so its expected) ; drowning (not really drowning but its kinda detailed so just in case)

It's night, hours after the desert battle, hours after Scott saw the death message knowing he wasn't able to be with his husband on his death.

The blood still on his clothes, all the dirt, sand and sweat of the battle still there. He wasn't able to do anything besides building the grave and burying the things that were from Jimmy he couldn't even bury his own husband, the body turned into xp minutes after Scott got there. The stupid captain america costume, the armor and the poppy, the stupid poppy that started it all.

He sat in that mountain for hours, looking and crying over the grave, he heard steps coming towards him. He didnt knew who it was, he didnt care, if it was dogwarts then fuck them what could he do to grieve in peace?

The steps grew louder, stopping right next to him, the black shoes followed by the white tunic answered to him. Joel, the man who burned his their walls, who wasn't there to fight in the conflict he had created.

He was silent, as far as Scott could see, he was looking down, staring at the grave. The only sound was the animals around and the wind. Without looking at him Scott asked, his voice low and heavy, affected by the time he spent crying and screaming.

'Tell me, do you know how it is to have your partner dying and not being able to do anything? To have to watch them disappear right in front of you?' He didn't expected a answer, he didn't even knew why Joel was there, but he didn't had much time to talk about it, he didn't want to talk about it, Grian told him it was ok, that he didn't mind if Scott wanted to talk about it with him or cry on him again. But he didn't, he didn't want to talk or think about it, he didn't want to think of how this place would be so much more silent and would look way more dead, he was fine.

'Yes' - Scott broke out of his head by Joel's words - 'I do yeah, it's not very good is it?' For the first time he looked up, the other man had a sad and bitter smile on his face. It was weird seeing Joel without the chaotic grin on his face, without the fire reflecting on his red eyes, who, Scott noticed, were more grey than ever, like the fire had died.

'What happened?' He asked, curious but also letting Joel know he didn't needed to talk about it, he could have conflict opinions about the red player next to him but he wouldn't force to him about his partner.

'We were running, something, some kinda of creature, was attacking us from the water. We didn't know what it was, but it was trying to get us. She told me to run, she was always a better swimmer than me, the water was always her element. But I couldn't leave her, you know? We both knew that she wouldn't come back, and for me it would always be her over me, at any time, any circumstance. And- and she looked at me' - and he could see how Joel was lost in memories, hoe the look in his eyes was soft, it reminded Scott of himself whenever he looked at Jimmy - 'and she smiled, and god- I don't know how someone could look so beautiful in the middle of swamp water, covered in dirt and in such a messy appearance. But she looked so beautiful and I knew, I knew I couldn't convince her otherwise but even before i tried, just- the second i opened my mouth to try and make her run. It got her, I saw her being pushed underwater, I saw the second her eyes got filled with fear, her hand reaching out to me. And I couldn't do anything, I stayed there and I screamed her name, I wasn't able to swim. I knew if I did that I would die, either to the creature, or I would drown, and- and then if I did that her sacrifice would be for nothing. So I ran away' -he saw how he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again, Scott wanted to tell him that he could stop if he wanted, that he didn't need to keep going, but he knew Joel needed this- 'I ran away and I got back to our home. I built her a grave. I never knew what happened, I still don't know what happened to her. But- but I just like to think that whatever happened, whenever she is, that shes happy. I put her favorite things there, her flowers, some photos of her favorite buildings. And our ring, I was keeping it, I would ask her that week- I never did, but i like to believe she would've said yes'.

'What- what did you do after that?' Joel smiled, and Scott saw the red player he learned to fear, the fire came back to his eyes at least for a bit.

'I hunted that thing down, I did everything I could, enchanted and got every piece equipment that would give me an advantage on the water. And when I found it? I killed it, I make it suffer for whatever it did to her'.

'Do you believe she is still alive?' And just like it appeared, the fire was over, his eyes got back to the dark red, and he sighed.

'If I'm being honest Scott? No I- I don't think she is, but I don't want to think about this. I also don't want to spend my entire life hoping she's alive too, just to be crushed in the end. So it's as I said, I like to think she's happy, doing her favorite things. And that maybe, maybe one day we'll find each other again'.

Scott stopped, he looked at the grave again, staring at the 'Beloved husband' words, in a shaky calligraphy.

'Did it make you feel better?' he felt Joel looking at him again, he looked up, serious, hands holding the grass aggressively, angrily. 'Killing the creature. Did it make you feel better'.

And he saw the second Joel understood, how he relaxed, how he looked at Scott with a sad smile.

'Yes. Not for long, but on the second? On the minute I did it? I felt like the most powerful person, I killed the thing that haunted my nightmares every night since that day, I avenged her. And after that i felt empty, because she wasn't back, i wouldn't say it was for nothing, but i wouldn't say it was worth every day and night that i spend looking for it'.

'I wont say that killing the red army will make you feel better, that killing Skizz will make everything alright because it wont. Jimmy will not come back Scott' - he looked at the grave again- 'No matter what you do, he will never come back. But I can promise you that for a second, for at least a minute, you will feel relieved. You will feel happy'.

And he didn't even need to think about it twice, or for more than one second. Just the memories of earlier that day, how he wasn't there, how he wasn't even able to help Jimmy when he died. He wants to kill Skizz, he wants to make the red army feel as destroyed as he felt. He wants to make them feel defeated. He's not a red life, he doesn't have the bloodlust the red lives have, but Scott can feel the rage, the anger, and he only wants one thing: revenge. Jimmy was the one who kept him calm, who would make him focus on other things, and now he's gone, forever, and they will pay. Scott will make sure of it.

He looks up to Joel, the yellow rods around his head shining, his eyes carrying the fury of a grieving husband.

'Are you on our side then?' and Joel smiled, blood red eyes lighting with a sparkle, the dangerous smile getting bigger again. He put a hand on his shoulder

'Down with the king, Scott'

Down with the king

#3rd life #3rd life smp #scott smajor #smallishbeans #joel #smajor1995 #major character death #drowning #writing #sorry if the tw's arent the best #im new to tumblr tags

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one-real-imonkey · 3 years

Note

Hi! I saw you were open for prompts/asks and stuff, and I was wondering if I could ask for more of your Coruscant Guard au? I absolutely love your writing and that au is just fantastic.

Thanks for the ask, I'm happy to write more, and glad you're enjoying.

———

Despite the advice to rest, the next morning Fox was up in full armour and ready to go. There were things to do and he was going to make sure they got done.

First rule of the Guard, vode protect each other. He wasn’t going to stop now. Not when there was so much to do, not when Palpatine was still a threat. The chips were gone, but they hadn’t been the only way that monster had been in their minds, like oil through cracks seeping in and staining. It was one of the things they only spoke of at night, in the pitch black with the lights off, and often when Hound, their youngest, was fast asleep. They’d always hoped Hound’s never bringing it up and tendency to be far away from the main Senate building would be enough to keep him safe…

With that looming threat in mind, he spared one last look at Hound’ika, still unwaking, almost peaceful in his rest, the rest he hadn’t been allowed in years, and then at Thire, who’d swapped out with Pup at some point while he’d been sleeping. Thire smiled, and turned back to their vod’ika, petting Grizzer curled on Hounds feet.

Hound would be ok, he’d wake up and he’d be fine. It just might take some time.

He stepped out of the Healing Halls, and couldn’t help but start for a second. He’d never been in the Jedi Temple before, but it was beautiful. This was an entrance hall to a medical wing, and yet the walls had columns and intricate carvings and paintings. Like the art and architecture in Lintel’s book.

"Commander Fox?"

It was one of Cody's boys, though he had no idea which.

"Are you alright, vod'ika?"

"Uh... Yes sir, I'm fine. I... I just wasn't expecting to see you so soon."

"See me?"

"The commander asked me to wait, said you'd try to escape and that when you did I should take you too him. Sir."

He almost laughed, Cody had given up trying to keep him in bed and was asking for him so he could keep an eye on him, and they called Fox sly.

He stared in more wonder than was professional as the vod who finally introduced himself as Wooley led him through the Temple to the Council antechamber, where Cody was pacing. Wooley made a quiet retreat, and Cody broke his paces to stride forwards, stopping half a step short of hugging him, and placing a hand on his shoulder. There was something in his eye that almost made Fox shy back. Cody didn't know where they stood, Fox hated that he wasn't sure either.

"Fox, are you sure you should be up and working, you can take more time."

“Vod the Guard hasn’t had a seconds rest in three years, we can go a little longer. The galaxy won’t end. I'm going to protect my brothers, all of them, no matter the cost.”

Cody looked almost grieved at that, and he was almost glad one of the Generals made their entrance, breaking the moment. He wasn't ready for that conversation, not that this one was likely to be much easier. Ponds stuck to his General’s side, and for a second looked like he was going to say something, before looking away.

Vode an, ha, he wouldn't even look Fox in the eyes.

"Commander Fox, we're glad to see you awake."

"Thank you, General."

"The war is over, commander, and we're going to do everything we can to keep it that way, so you don't have to call me General."

"...understood Gen... Master Windu."

"We would also like to thank you and your vode in the Guard for the service you've done for the Galaxy. And apologise, that we did not realise the true threat Palpatine presented, to the galaxy and to you."

"Sir," he paused, almost looking to his brothers for strength, then steeling his shoulders, "you could not have known. He was a Sith of a line who specialised in hiding from the Jedi, he bragged about it Sir, how could a Jedi have found him. We only did because he did not think we were capable of... anything damaging... because he didn't really care to hide it. Not from us."

"That does not change that you and your brothers were manipulated and abused, and that it should not have happened. If not Palpatine, the other Senators."

"The ones who treat you the same way, Sir, who don't see you as any more sentient than us, who saw you as tools for their use, the same as us. They drafted you, something you could not refuse. If you had, you’d have been imprisoned and then vanished by his hand. It was a trap for your people, one designed perfectly to work without your knowing. Sir, none of us blame you. We may not trust you yet, and some of my vode will likely fear you, but we cannot blame you."

"I understand, and I hope with time, we can rectify these oversights. It is not the Jedi way to be feared, nor to ignore suffering. We have failed you, and while that may not have been our intention, we will make up for our oversights."

"Thank you, sir. And thank you, all, for protecting my vode in the wider GAR as best you could. We are grateful they had people who valued their lives watching their backs."

"Your vode mean a lot to us, it was our honour to fight with them."

"Sir," deep breath Fox, you can do this, "Palpatine is still a threat, I would like to offer my assistance."

"Your offer is appreciated, Commander, but the situation is hardly safe, and Palpaine has done enough to you and your vode in the Guard already."

"General Windu, you need proof, because for some Hound's work was not enough. I know that bastard’s files better than anyone, the things I've seen, I want to help. I want to make sure none of them can ever go anywhere near my vode again, and especially not him. Not near our bodies or our minds."

Even focused on Windu, he could feel Ponds and Cody flinching away from what he was saying, away from the truth. It didn't matter, he had to focus on what was important. He could deal with his vode's guilt later, right now he had siblings to save.

Rule one of the Guard, vode protect each other.

Palpatine wouldn't be a threat for long, not if there was anything he could do.

———

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. This AU is fun to write and play with.

I'm always open for asks and headcanons and whatnot, dark and sad or lighthearted and silly.

:-)

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #my corrie guard au #well an au of my corrie guard au #ask response #commander fox #Corrie guard #coruscant guard #protect the coruscant guard #commander cody #clone trooper wooley #sergeant hound #oc clone pup #commander thire #commander ponds #mace windu #Palpatine

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