#like please I’m so tired

[dafuq-lyrehc]

I haven’t spoken about it much here, but it is the main cause for my mental distress. Besides a car accident being a traumatic experience and me realizing that my intense desire for perfection is so incredibly deep rooted that the thought of me doing something wrong makes me want to vomit and cry, my state is also actively trying to fuck me.

I am a medical marijuana patient and my state has a 0 tolerance policy for marijuana when it comes to driving. So every single med patient in the state is basically a walking dui, bc if the police find out your a patient, they can do a blood test. But if you’re a regular user (like me), there will be marijuana in your blood even in you haven’t used it for an extended period of time. I consume almost everyday bc anxiety and the horrors.

So when I got into my car accident in January, I sustained a concussion and the police officer did a field sobriety test. I failed bc I had a concussion…. But the officer took my blood anyway and if the 3 letters I got in the mail from defense attorneys are any indication, the state will be trying to charge me with a dui even tho I WAS NOT HIGH. I don’t drive while high. The thought of it makes me so anxious that I haven’t even tried it. Completely sober, I’ll get paranoid that I’m intoxicated somehow and am swerving and such (when I’m not) and I’ll get so in my head and panicked. So I don’t drive high.

In addition to this, I got a letter from the state requesting I get some forms filled out by a health care provider to assess if I am unfit to drive bc of some kind of condition, including a substance abuse disorder. If I don’t turn in the forms by Feb 29, they’ll start the process of suspending my license, and if they’re not in by March 30, my license will be suspended.

Well, I finally got health insurance last year after not having it for years. The only doctor I’ve seen since getting health insurance is a dermatologist bc I’ve got a chronic skin thing that causes lots of pain and discomfort when it flairs. I saw a primary care doc for the first time after my car accident to follow up. And I can’t seem to find a doctor who is “comfortable” filling out these forms for me. I asked the state what I should and they told me to go to an urgent care if I can’t get one of my doctors to sign the paperwork. I went to an urgent care and they told me that they legally cannot fill out the forms. So my current plan is to just try and get an appointment with random doctors to see if they will do it.

I’ve been trying so hard not to let the looming depression consume me, but the depression got hands. It feels inevitable to lose my license, and I’m just so fucking tired. I feel like I’ve been in this survival mode for my whole life and I try so hard to do the “right things”, but it doesn’t seem to even matter.

Unfortunately, the self harm and suicidal ideation are back. ✌️ I’m trying so hard, and it feels like the effort has never gotten me anywhere. Like maybe the issue is I should just lay down and take it. Surrender and submit. I know it’s the depression talking, but like I said this depression got hands. Can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim. And I’m barely treading water

I also feel so guilty for feeling this way. The accident showed me that there are actually a lot of people in my life who care about me, and I don’t want them to be disappointed. I don’t want to waste their support and let them down. I just really don’t want to be here. Never have, maybe never will

#like please I’m so tired #just let me rest #tw mention of self harm #tw depression #update

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[valyrfia]

I don’t know how many more “keep ao3 and shipping in fandom spaces” I’ve got left in me.

#i jest but I’m tired and angry guys this is a cardinal rule #the second it gets to the people involved it’s bound to get weird no it’s not something to laugh or joke about #and all it takes is a few people to ruin it for the thousands rest of us #so like….let’s not please #lestappen #Maxiel

[necromancer-punk]

glasseschuck my beloved

cw: heavily suggestive (too suggestive)

also i just thought how laios blushed on his chest in episode 20 was so cute so i was legally obligated to draw him <3

i just thought how laios blushed on his chest in episode 20 was so cute so i was legally obligated t... #poipiku https://poipiku.com/10001787/10291066.html

#this is my first time posting stuff like this….. #please be nice ;w; #i drew THE BEST FUVKING HANDS AND I HAD TO COVER THEM UP #im so pissed #i wanted to make laios a bit rounder darn it :(( #god i’m so tired and my fever has been getting worse #let’s hope no one from my main blog sees this #dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims #chilchuck tims #laios touden #chilaios #Spotify #my art

[crystalbeastsquidney]

Had a friend recently tell me a funny idea for a couples’ shirt combo

#sorry i’ve been dead for three months. the past year’s been absolute hell on my cofidence and motivation as an artist #it will unfortunately happen again #also for the record i don’t think any of them are stupid. this just feels like something Johnny would do #hanzo hasashi #scorpion mk #kuai liang #sub zero #johnny cage #mortal kombat #mk11 #subcagecorp #subscorp #<- fuck it this counts and i want more attention #polyamory #my art #click for better quality #please let this do well i’m so tired of sharing art making me sui/cidal

[starrylevi]

Better Days ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

You don’t know if it’s the comedown from the meds, your period, or one of your disorders making you feel this extreme sadness but you need this feeling to go away. It’s more annoying than anything. You’re not one to compare anyone’s pain but Levi’s been through an entire war in which he lost his eye, a couple of fingers, and his ability to walk. The war in your head is nothing compared to that. So what you do is you grit your teeth and just try to ride this almost debilitating wave of misery until it’s over.

Of course you’re silly to think that Levi wouldn’t be able to tell something’s wrong. He’s lost some things but he definitely hasn’t lost his perceptiveness.

“Oi…” His tone is soft as he places a hand on your thigh, taking you out of your thoughts. You realize he’s right in front of you and he’s wearing a small frown. When did he get here?

You blink rapidly, your surroundings slowly coming into focus. “Hey.” You reply, your tone also soft but there’s an underlying tiredness in your voice and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Levi.

“You okay?” He asks you, giving you the chance to open up and be honest, his eyes looking at you with concern.

You blink a few more times, still in a bit of a daze. “Yeah, I’m just-“

“Don’t do that.” He cuts you off gently. You know what those words mean. You know better than to lie to me. And you do know better. But you also don’t want to burden him.

You give him a tired smile and continue. “Really, Levi-“

“C’mere.” He cuts you off again with a pat to his thigh, beckoning you to sit on him.

“Your legs, Levi.” You remind him, worried your weight on him will put too much pressure on the lower half of his body.

“I don’t care.” He sighs before he grabs you by the waist, surprising you with his upper body strength despite you knowing that he continues to keep himself in shape, especially when it comes to his arms and core. He places you onto his lap and positions you so that you’re sitting bridal style on him in his wheelchair.

“Levi…” You whine, although you let out a slight chuckle as your arms find their home around his neck.

“Mm?” He looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as his arms encircle you.

You roll your eyes playfully as he feigns stupidity.

He gives you a small smirk before his expression softens, concern still present in his eyes. “Seriously, what is it?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he presses his forehead against yours.

You sigh yourself before your shoulders raise in a defeated shrug as you look back up at him. “I don’t know…I’m just sad.” You give him a glum smile.

And there’s the truth. It hurts him to know you’re feeling this way and there’s no way for him to realistically help. He wishes he can reach inside you and pull all of the negative feelings out. He would swallow them himself if he could. He can deal with sadness but it’s a struggle to watch you deal with it. So for now he tries to help as best as he can through his touch, holding you tight against his chest as he places kisses on your skin. He might not know what to say but he knows how to touch you to remind you of the promise he made to you before the war, of living through better days. You are his better days. They don’t exist without you. But more importantly, you deserve better days. You deserve the laughter, the hugs, and the happy tears. Better days are coming, but they’re also here. And Levi’s willing to go through hell and back to make sure you stay for them.

#oh no she’s sad again what a big surprise #the way I’m feeling is lethalll #literally fuck my brain #I hate it here I’m tired of being like this #but better days I guess #can’t have them if we’re not here #so please stay if you’re second guessing it #big hugs to you #still on my postwar!levi kick and probably will be for a while the man is all fluff which I desperately need right now #levi #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x y/n #levi drabble #aot levi #levi comfort #postwar!levi #manda writes

[addsalwayssick]

chiron: poesiden has claimed you! you must go on this quest!

percy: no + ratio + shut up + no one cares + not his son + son of sally jackson + who asked + screw you + stop don’t talk to me loser lamo wannabe like o totally + the floss

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy and annabeth #percy pjo #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjo spoilers #pjo disney+ #how many tags can i include pjo in #i’m so tired #you can ignore this #if you want #or laugh #idc #(please laugh) #it’s 2am #and i’ve been up since like #when did i sleep last? #no clue #i didn’t sleep last night #so.. #i’ve been awake for… #42 hours. #i think #bad at math #literally it’s too late for this #so i cant do this #shitpost

[whenthegoldrays]

#like watch Rowoon in the matchmakers and tell me that man wouldn’t make a perfect Darcy #but also na in woo just has this MattMac Darcy air to him in MMH #so I could see either of them in the role #lowkey wanna make a poll like this for all the major Austen characters #it’s my way of manifesting a Korean Austen production 🥹 #please get this to like at least 15 votes guys I’m tired of my polls flopping #elly's posts #polls #my polls #pride and prejudice #mr darcy #na in woo #marry my husband #rowoon #the matchmakers #austen x kdrama

[embracedfire]

On his birthday :[

Anyway happy late birthday to the one and only slimy guy that we know and love! Also to tallulah and pomme :). Slay the day away. Please this stream was an emotional roller coaster I’m sure we all can agree. QSMP really outdid themselves, I applaud to you.

#slimecicle #charlie slimecicle #qsmp fanart #qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp juanaflippa #fanart #fandom #i’m tired #slmccl #please don’t make me cry qsmp I beg of you #I’m on my knees begging qsmp #please for the love of lil Jesus #this took so long to make but I like it rn I’m not sure if I will in the morning bc the Art block is real #keep up the good lore :)

[batfamhyperfixation]

I know we constantly talk about Jason being a classic lit person, but most people only use P&P and exclusively Jane Austin novels, like yeah my homie she is great but I wanna see more content where Jason’s niche is purely books that people think are related to his death but also not at all related to his death: Frankenstein by Mary Shelly, Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Why people think Jason loves Frankenstein: he relates to the Creature, being born again after death but not quite right, rejected by father figure, causing a separation between him and all the humans, thus plunging him into isolation, highly literate but not taken seriously because he doesn’t have a degree from an accredited school (basically self taught)

Why Jason actually loves Frankenstein: it is written through letters!! There are like 4 stories going on at once all embedded in one another, like that’s so fuckin cool! He actually relates to Robert Walton, as he travels the world only to form the outlaws, taking these misfits with him, like how Walton traveled to the North Pole only to find and befriend Victor Frankenstein, taking him with

Why people think he likes the Metamorphosis: Jason relates to Gregor because he turns into something nonhuman overnight only gaining consciousness again after the transition period and although he still feels the same, everyone will forever fear him as something other, just like Jason after the pit which seemed like it changed him overnight as he woke up something othered

Why Jason actually liked the metamorphosis: Kafka didn’t like metaphor so he made the transformation something literal, and he subverted the expectations of transformation at the time as usually transformations were done to give the character some upgrade but in metamorphosis it was a downgrade, ruining Gregors life instead; not to mention for a story about a man being transformed into a bug, not a lot actually happens in the story nor does Gregor actually do a lot, it is less a narrative in the traditional sense and more a stream of consciousness kind of writing which helps it feel different, also I think he would relate to Grete, always trying to help adults around him who were self-destructing a lot of the time, probably especially his parents, I mean he died by trying to save his mother only for her to turn on him, he was fighting crime to help Bruce, etc. Grete was still a child who was helping her brother stay alive when no one else would, she tried to protect her parents from having to deal with Gregor in his transformed state, she even got a job to help the family (similar to Jason becoming Robin to help Bruce)

Why people think Jason liked the picture of Dorian gray: the theme of fleetingness unless intervened through supernatural means (aging painting keeping you young forever or being reborn again despite original life fleeting) only to eventually cause your untimely demise (likely how others view Jason’s perception of himself)

Why Jason actually liked Picture of Dorian Gray: it has so many takes on society that even if you don’t agree with all of them, it at least forces you to think about your own stances and understanding how you view the world around you, it puts a high value on the arts and takes them seriously, it has very well-developed and deeply flawed characters that are fun to read about, and the novel has an interesting history of it being used as evidence in Wilde’s criminal case for being queer

#look I’m just saying that there are tons of books I think Jason would like beyond just Jane Austin #even if you exclude it to only classic lit books I think there are others and I think we should expand it beyond just Jane Austin #these were my examples of other classic lit novels Jason would like so please for the love of god give me some other books for Jason cause #by this point those who say he likes classic lit then exclusively state Jane Austin are starting to sound like they have never read any #like I’m begging on my hands and knees just give me something other than Jane Austin like his parallels to other classic lit books are so #clear yet no one wants to even talk about it cause he is only allowed to exclusively like Pride and Prejudice #like hell I would even accept Jason talking discourse about different classic lit novels as long as he is seen reading other things #idk I’m probably just rambling; but overall there are other novels and I think we should utilize them more #cause I’m tired of every Jason book post I see only citing Jane Austin #jason is starting to sound like those dudes who read exactly 1 book and somehow convince everyone around them that they are a huge bookworm #jason todd #jason todd headcanon

[lordschmort]

💐🌹

#i dont really like this tbh #but I’m not gonna work more on it because it’s 1am and i gotta work tomorrw & I’m tired #so please be my valentine and goodnight #stardew valley #stardew shane #sdv shane #fanart #valentines

[atorionsbelt]

me after loki’s season 2 finale with no idea how long we’ll have to wait to see loki or mobius again and in what mcu projects: [mobius voice] i might just wait here for a little bit…. let time pass

#the marvels..? deadpool 3…..? loki season 3!? #please come back to me #i’m so tired like. #i can’t be pushing 30 still losing it over them #loki #loki season 2 spoilers #marvel spoilers #marvel #mcu spoilers #mcu #lokius #mobius #mobius m mobius #loki series #loki spoilers #op

[driedbloodondeadflies]

i’m gonna come out and say it: i don’t find alana bloom annoying and the number of people saying that is misogynistic

#nbc hannibal #alana bloom #i’m tired of seeing negativity for women in a show that killed two of its main women and both of them being women of color #also people hating on freddie?? #oh come on #please she rules #like you guys will excuse cannibalism but draw the line at a character that suffers bad writing?? #yall like ‘abigail fate was so tragic/she deserved better’ MY DUDE ALANA WAS THE ONLY WHO WANTED HER TO LEAD A HEALTHY LIFE #she’s the only one who didn’t have personal interest in her #she just wanted the best #like the hate see to be only because she got with hannibal and got manipulated by him #SHE IS ONE OF HIS VICTIMS

[avataroftheglowcloud]

why is the ouran fandom so dead. if I don’t find people to talk to about how in love kyoya and tamaki are this instant I will simply implode I think

#I made an ohshc discord server a while back but I never actually did anything with it bc nobody seems to like ohshc anymore :(( #and like valid. the show has its issues and i’ll be the first to acknowledge that #but also the special interest is special interesting and I’m so mad at myself for not getting into it when it was more popular #guys come back pls #anyway ouran fans interact right now #be my besties #please #I’m tired of scrolling through the same old posts #ohshc #ouran high school host club #kyotama #tamakyo #patto the space phrog

[dumbbunnii]

⋆˚🐾˖°

#took this right after waking up hehe #I’m so tired of studying #if someone understands how physics II works #please educate me #my professor goes so fast #anywho #I love talking in these so much #it’s like a little secret #me #bunni #selfie

[sinnbaddie]

Kakagai | 18+ | repost of prior drawing

Hopefully I’m posting this for the last time. Full picture on twitter

https://x.com/cheysguts/status/1762928529719648390?s=46&t=AWoHHAq_Yp8G-zufNNoS0w

#Kakagai #gaikaka #Maito Gai #Kakashi hatake #this is like my 5th upload of this drawing I’m so tired of it please don’t flag it omfg #sorry to moots and non moots who’ve seen this #so many times it’s annoying