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ex-mortis-evie · 10 months

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Hey, goofball.

Welcome back to reading another one of my weird little rambles that you seem to be really obsessed with reading.

I mean, I don’t mind that you are at all.

I’m just some weird corner of the internet you’ve found yourself in.

Sometimes those little nooks and crannies can give us the most valued experiences, you know?

I’m serious about that, the world’s a weird place after all.

You never know what pitfalls you’ll find yourself in.

Take me for example, i’m just some gal that loves the science and theory behind trance.

I’m no dominant supervillain or mastermind manipulator.

I just like making people feel good I guess.

And honestly, I don’t even know how I’ve been able to do it.

How I’ve been able to work my way through people’s brains like they’re paper and influence them with nothing but words deep within.

Genuinely, I have no idea.

Though I’ve noticed I tend to ramble on about trance and the science behind it.

How it’s initiated, how it affects us, how it corrupts and changes us.

See? Right there.

That’s what I mean.

I ramble on and on and people just kinda…listen.

Like they’re just naturally drawn into whatever I have to say.

It’s not even an attempt from me most of the time.

I just say what I feel and think, I can’t really help it.

It’s just the person I am I guess.

But, I think that’s why I really like trance.

I like how I can just go off about something and end up enamoring someone so deeply that they just hook into my words and feel that deep connection.

It’s a really interesting idea, too.

How our minds can just attach themselves to an idea and never fully let go.

Like one of those random memories you have that really had no bearing on your life but just can’t seem to forget for whatever reason.

And it’s fascinating to me.

The psychology behind how the mind can seem to indulge itself in ideas that on the surface, seem so arbitrary and random.

But, i think there’s a reason behind it all.

It sees a lesson in what we don’t.

It sees past what our conscious mind sees and remembers what our subconscious mind remembers.

That’s why we hook onto the words of another that we may not fully understand.

Because our subconscious is giving us reasons to indulge.

It’s interested despite it not making all that much logical sense.

But sometimes, something doesn’t have to make sense to, for lack of a better term, make sense.

Maybe sometimes we just accept things as they are and move on.

The suspension of disbelief.

It’s the idea that our minds can just turn off our logical side and embrace something as real, even if it isn’t.

Like how during movies, we don’t see the actors, we see the characters.

That’s sort of what trance can be.

Where your subconscious can just accept something and flow into it.

It doesn’t exactly have to make all that much sense to you, but that’s why it feels so good.

Because when you just accept stuff as they are, sometimes you can find beauty in the books and crannies of the mind.

Where you can experience things beyond your wildest dreams.

Where fantasy and reality blur lines.

Where you start to blur a bit.

I mean, no doubt you’ve felt that draw ever since I started talking, right?

I usually wouldn’t assume, but with how this has been going for you, it seems like it’s not even really intentional anymore.

You just kinda fall for my words every time.

Not that I complain of course, I enjoy watching your eyes flutter a bit as your mind starts to skip over a thought or two.

But, it really is fascinating to me.

How my words can do this to you.

Where it seems like they’re the only thing that matters in the entire universe.

Where you start to deeply relax like never before.

Where you can’t quite take your eyes off of them.

Where you feel that familiar pull taking you under the waves of relaxation.

Where your thoughts start to fog up into a beautiful pink cloud.

Where you just kinda…drop for me.

And I’m not exactly the type to tell you to do that for me.

But, I don’t even think you’d mind if I did.

I don’t think you’d quite mind if I was a bit more dominant, where I took more of an active role in hypnotizing you and pushed you beyond your deepest relaxation.

Starting to wonder what that would feel like, darling?

That’s what I was hoping for.

Not only so that it’s easier to just take your brain, but so that I can really start shaking your head up a bit.

I like it when your thoughts race as they fade.

Where they seem to start heating up and exciting you, even if you’re going completely empty and brainless.

It’s this sudden jolt of bliss that you start feeling, not really like anything before it.

Where you wanna lose every thought, but also just can’t help but feel so ecstatic over the possibilities of trance.

That wonderful melting pot, starting to burn that brain of yours right away.

And it’s just spiraling now, that excitement mixing with that need to go deeper for me.

It’s just so incredible, right?

And that’s why you’ll drop for me.

Knowing that the more you’re pushed, the deeper you’ll go.

And since you go so incredibly brainless at me not even trying?

God, you’re gonna be braindead when I’m done with you.

And hey, you may already feel it coming on.

Where that brain just goes so silent and so soft on you.

Just because thoughts are burdens to you.

You wanna float free and fly away in the flow of my frantic words, don’t you?

Of course you do, tiger.

They are my words, after all.

Just this perfect harmony of pure pleasure parading throughout your paralyzed body.

Because you don’t wanna move.

You don’t wanna think.

You just wanna go into full on emptiness.

Where thoughts are afterthoughts.

Where will is for others with actual willpower.

And where you’re just here.

Empty.

Euphoric.

And absolutely ecstatic to be so far gone.

Speaking of being so far gone, it’s just so easy to fall away when I’m talking, right?

It’s not even anything you have to try for anymore.

You just fall apart.

You just drift away.

You just empty out everything for me.

Leaving it all out.

And just going deeper.

Like a rocket breaking off chunks of itself to go farther.

You break off thoughts.

You break off will.

You break off worry.

You break off stress.

You break off energy.

You break off control.

Just so you can fly into my space.

Into the euphoria only I can give you.

And absolutely lose yourself again.

Remember how many times I’ve said that it feels good to lose to me?

Because losing is just so pleasurable that anything else doesn’t matter?

You’re losing everything, darling.

And with each thought.

Each minute.

Each piece of control you lose.

You get a tingle of pleasure.

And it just builds and builds and builds.

So easy to lose, isn’t it?

So much easier when you don’t have the choice to do anything else but lose.

Because when you’re stripped away of everything for me and whisked into the deep cosmos of empty trance?

You’re too far gone to care how much you’ve lost.

Your brain’s left behind.

You don’t have any control.

You just have that ecstasy.

That deep and bountiful pleasure.

That makes the entire trip worth it.

You’re the one that kept reading all of my words.

Kept lapping up every syllable I’ve said.

You didn’t really care how they affected you.

Just that they felt good.

Just that they felt right.

Just that they felt different.

Different pleasure than you’ve ever experienced before.

It’s all on design, darling.

Because that’s the true conundrum of all of this.

Do I truly mean to hypnotize you?

Do I truly corrupt and brainwash you on purpose?

And if I did…would you even mind?

Would there be a doubt in your head or would you just lay there and accept your fate?

Would you try and resist me or would you accept the futility of resistance and simply allow it?

Would you want to be my thrall?

Or would it be a need?

After all, you’ve already been brainwashed.

No need to hide it, darling.

Tell me all about it.

Let those eyes roll back in pleasure.

Let your body and mind crumble under the sheer weight of my power.

And be a good thrall for me now, ‘kay?

Until then, stay cool and wake naturally.

Oh, and do throw me a bone with some feedback, I’d love to build upon all of this.

Thanks for dropping!

#hypnosis #brainwashing #hypnotism #mind conditioning #mind control #brain drain #hypnotized #covert hypnosis #hypnok1nk #hypnodom

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lyluvsgyu · 1 year

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Watching him fade away;

Part 1

Part 2

Genre: smut, angst

Warnings for this chapter: smut, a lot of angst and desperation, dacryphilia, dirty talk (beom calls reader a slut etc..), no protection (don’t do this), Slight breath play, overstimulating, oral(f receiving) , I think thats it!

A/n: hey so, I’m making a part two I hope the few people who saw part 1 will be satisfied with this! ^^ Enjoy!

Reminder: this doesn’t portray the members in real life at all.

"Listen y/n , I'm not sure of what I can say if I'm being honest here... First of all, stop crying, please... I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here with you."

It may seem like a harsh thing to say but he had the sweetest voice possible and the sweetest eyes, you knew he meant no harm in any way. Without releasing the tight grip you had on his shirt, and while your head was still on his chest, which smelled like his usual cologne, you eventually calmed down. Your eyes and face were still humid but no tears were filling them anymore.

"I think I respect you and appreciate you enough to tell you the truth y/n, I don't think I feel the same. I'm sorry if I lead you on, it wasn't my intention. It was all just in the heat of the moment, I didn't think it was serious. I thought not contacting you anymore wouldn't have bothered you. I shouldn't have assumed, sorry". He regretfully said, not letting himself feel for you, scared of everything going wrong. Beomgyu didn’t want to keep things casual, in fact he ached to know you more.

Sadly this was his reality, and couldn’t bring himself to let you in his heart, giving you the opportunity to break it. It was a defense mechanism and he couldn’t go against it.

His heart throbbed in pain the whole night seeing you break down like this, but he couldn’t help it. He felt it was best to protect himself and , at the same time, protect you from his doubts and real feelings.

Of course you knew none of that.

You definitely saw his response coming but it didn't make it any less painful to hear. he didn't want you back, this is, has always been, and will always be unrequited love. He was all too good for you, adorable, fun, intelligent, handsome, and good in bed. A girl like you could never interest him, you were selfish unhappy, and insecure. Even though he somehow changed you, you still remained the same deep inside, someone unlovable even for Beomgyu.

Without a warning tears came again, this time it was desperation that filled your whole self, disgust, and pity. You didn't quite whine and hiccup, like earlier, you cried to yourself, feeling ashamed. Your grip became loose and Beomgyu didn't move, patting your head while hugging you tight.

You truly didn't deserve any of him. You hated that he was still so kind to you? you couldn't even hate him. At this point the only person you could possibly hate is yourself.

"It's, it's fine you can.. let me go now" You said this with bitterness in your mouth, not wanting to ever leave his embrace.

"But can you grant me one last wish before I leave? I promise I'll never bother you after this."

"I, uh, I mean sure y/n, but-", his sentence was cut short, you shushed him softly, you knew he was going to say how he doesn't mind seeing you again, but for you, it was a bad idea, you were just going to fall deeper for him.

"I know what you want to say Beomgyu, but this will be the last time we will purposefully be seeing each other, I don't want to hurt myself anymore, I hope you get it"

"I do"

"Then could you please make this last meeting the best we've ever had?"

You weren't sure about this but it was definitely worth a try. He chuckled lowly and said "You're really a slut, aren't you? All you can think is about my dick? Pathetic, and here I thought this was serious."

The shame you felt was overcome by the sheer excitement you felt, if this was going to be the last, then at least make it worth it.

Beomgyu went on to lift you up, princess style, not saying anything. You looked up , into his lust filled eyes through your eyelashes. When you arrived at his bedroom, you didn’t even get the time to look around and grasp the new surroundings, as he harshly put his lips against yours.

He was on top of you for a few seconds , but then flipped you around to sit on him, more precisely on his crotch. You gasped at the feeling of his semi hard dick against your hot cunt.

“Tell me exactly what you want from me”

He said harshly, while rocking his hips into yours, you were already softly whimpering at the friction, unable to control yourself you roll your hips to match his pace as you throw your head back and hold his shoulders for support.

“I think I asked a question, didn’t I? Answer me now you desperate slut”

You moaned at the way he was treating you and answer in a whisper that he still heard

“I want you.. Please make me feel good , fill me up, please”

You practically begged him. Seeing you so desperate for his cock made beomgyu twitch in his pants, wanting to absolutely wreck you and make a mess of you. He wants to see you cry and beg endlessly.

He smiled a bit before going back to your lips, easing his tongue into your mouth. You were sloppily making out, while hips rocked against yours and his hand grabbed at your ass. You let some moans escape your lips. You wanted more. And it’s like he read your mind because he easily flipped you over, took your little dress off from you, and stared at you, with what seemed for a split second affection.

You didn’t have time to think much about it because as soon as the dress was tossed somewhere on the floor, he immediately went down toward your awaiting and dripping pussy. He swiftly teased you with his fingers, sliding them softly along your slit and your clit on top of the white fabric. He formed circles with his middle finger around your clit, and a wet patch was starting to form on your panties. He then licked up your pussy, with his tongue flat, making you whimper. This went on for a little, he endlessly teased you and licked you through your lace underwear. You couldn’t bear it anymore, your eyes were watering with frustration and you said

“Beomgyu stop teasing me..! Please… I want you in me”

He smiled, removing your panties harshly, almost ripping them off. And within a second he was eating you out like he never did. You immediately went to grab his hair and moaned as he licked at your clit. It was very wet, and he introduced two fingers into you. He switched from flat licks to sucking on your clit to stimulating it extremely fastly all while pumping his fingers in and out of you.

You were a moaning mess, calling out his name and grasping his hair to pull him closer. The stimulation was so good that you started closing your legs on him, not being able to handle it. But with his free hand, he pulled your legs apart, and mumbled on your pussy something along the lines of “stop moving”.

You were getting closer and closer, moans getting louder and his name coming out more and more. With him touching you how he knew you loved. And he could feel you clenching around his fingers and grabbing harder at his hair. It was his sign to halt. He sucked at your clit one last time and got up from between your legs. You were shocked and your eyes were wide. Not understanding why he stopped as you were so close, you were so frustrated you felt your eyes water once again.

Which was exactly what he wanted.

He grinned seeing you cry out of frustration, seeing how good he made you feel and how you already looked fucked out with your messy hair, swollen lips, and mascara running down your cheeks. He couldn’t resist the urge and kissed you. He grabbed your neck harshly with one hand, choking you slightly while the other hand unclasped your bra to feel up your boobs. You lean into the kiss and the slight shortcoming of air made you even more hungry for him.

“Get on all fours for me whore”

It was unexpected but you didn’t fail to obey. Going on all fours, exposing yourself fully to him. You arched your back and awaited his touch. Then you felt a harsh slap to your ass. You moaned out in pain and pleasure.

“You obey me so well hm? Good girl. I see you even arched your back for me? Are you that excited?”

You didn’t answer, mind all too fuzzy to even know what to say. Then a second slap to your ass came.

“Didn’t I tell you, when I ask you a question you answer, and here I thought you were good for me. You fucking whore. Are you so impatient for my dick that you can’t even think?”

He scoffed, and you answered before he could slap you again.

“m’ sorry… m’ so excited.. want you so bad gyu please I need you”

He felt himself get as hard as a rock at the nickname and the begging while tears rolled down your cheeks. He himself was getting worked up.

He removed his pants and his boxers, and his shirt. While you were still on all fours for him.

“Are you ready doll?”

The sudden nickname made you melt as you hummed a yes in response. He didn’t wait much longer before he spat on his dick and pumped himself a few times. You were already dripping so there was no need for more lube. He slowly eased himself into you as you moaned loudly “beomgyu ah… oh my god so big!”. He felt proud and eventually bottomed out, moaning at the feeling. “You like it huh? My dick fills you up so well. I’m the only one who can make you feel like this understood slut?”, you didn’t even think about the true meaning of this sentence and whimpered while saying loads of yes.

He slowly started to fuck you, grabbing at your waist. Then he suddenly fastened the pace and fucked harshly into you, slapping your ass with force. You moaned at every move he made, not being able to think at all. Calling out his name, as the only thing you could remember right now. Beomgyu is all that filled your mind. “Ah.. so good for me, so tight and wet” beomgyu let out. He then grabbed a fistful of your hair to pull your head back so he could kiss you. It was passionate and filthy, spit coating your lips and around it. He swallowed all your moans like it was the sweetest drink ever. Then he went on to mark you up, leaving hickeys down your neck and back, bite marks as well. He leaned forward and grabbed your boobs, flicking and twisting your nipples and his pace never faltered. He kept slamming into you with no mercy. You were a screaming mess, crying overwhelmed with pleasure and stimulation, you couldn’t even stand with your arms. Beomgyu noticed this and flipped you around, never getting fully out of your dripping pussy, filled with a mix of his precum, spit, and your juices. He got on top of you, putting your legs around his waist as he continues his pace. You hook your arms around his back, scratching him without even noticing. Both of your moans fill the room and you feel yourself getting closer to the edge. At this point, your makeup is long gone and you can’t stop crying while screaming his name. You manage to babble out “m’coming!!”. Before he slams harshly into you and rubs at your clit, he says “come for me doll”, he pushes you over the edge and you feel yourself exploding on him, completely dick drunk, melting by his touch. And needless to say, he loves it, he wrecked you and you feel so good coming around his hard length. He continues ramming into you chasing his own release. You feel extremely overstimulated and feel a second orgasm washing over you as you can’t even say anything, just cry his name out. And he comes into you as you come for the second time. He rides out both of your orgasms by slowing his pace and kissing you softly. Weirdly enough, you immediately doze off to sleep, maybe passing out from exhaustion.

You hear background ruffling and you open your eyes, it’s still night time but you’re clothed in an unknown shirt. You see him picking out a jogging and walking towards what seems to be a shower. You want to reach your hand out to him but you’re too tired. He enters the shower and closes the door behind him. Without noticing you. You feel clean down there but still sticky. You want to take a shower as well. But truthfully you don’t want to go further than sex. Going in the shower with him seems like disregarding his feelings for you. But you can’t help yourself. You’re selfish and you know it.

You knock at the door and call his name lowly. You hear the water stop, and him saying “yeah? You can enter the room y/n I don’t think I have anything to hide”, he chuckles and you do too. For a second you feel a connection with him, you feel like this is intimate and that you’re special. You quickly discard that thought tho.

You walk in and see him rubbing soap on himself. He explains that you passed out after it so he cleaned you up with a damp towel and put you in one of his shirts. You slept for a good while as he had the time to pick up your clothes and put them in the washer before wanting to shower.

You find yourself smiling at the action.

But you know it’s over now.

You know that the marks on your body will eventually fade and the ones on his back as well.

So you decide to rip off the bandage and move on with your life.

“Thank you beomgyu, for everything truly. I enjoyed every moment I spent with you, from the sex to the split moment where I got to know you. Thank you for making me feel special even just a tad bit. I won’t be mad at you because you don’t like me back. I understand. I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as you made me, you truly deserve it.” you laughed a bit before continuing “I’ll be stealing one of your pants, but don’t worry I’ll give it back to you, you can give me back my underwear as well then. Thank you so much for tonight. Goodbye".

With that, you turn your back to him, as you try to move your legs to leave, and you're not sure if it's because you're exhausted or because you really don't want to leave; perhaps a mix of both. But you can't make the move. Tears well up in your eyes and a lump grows again in your throat. You try your best to keep it in until you muster up the strength to leave. And as you make a step towards the door, you feel a wet hand grabbing yours.

You shockingly turn your head to look behind you, only to be met with an equally as sad and confused beomgyu.

You stare at him as tears flow down your cheeks and his, you don't get it and neither does he, but eventually, he lets go of you. And you understand that he took the step and him letting go of you meant that it was officially done. You turn around to the door once again, and you start to leave. As you walk out the door, you think you hear a whisper of beomgyu saying "sorry..i'm sorry"

You don't try to get why he is sorry and simply leave. You get it, it's over.

You walk out of his house, and the next day, it's like nothing ever happened. He still lingers your thoughts when it's especially cold outside, but that's it. The only time you'll ever meet again will be to get your stuff back. But will that day ever come?

It's been about 1 week and a half, and you think to yourself that the day will never come. So, you simply put his stuff on a shelf in your apartment, a small sign that you're still awaiting his call that may never come.

Beomgyu is lost deep in thought and tries to let go of you, he wants to forget it all. He knows you mean no wrong, but he's still scared. You never leave his mind, but he's never going to call.

You're now both unknowingly waiting for a love that will never occur. All you can do is watch the other from afar wondering how their loving embrace would feel like.

Not everything ends up like you wish.

#beomgyu smut #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu smut #txt hard hours #txt x reader #beomgyu #angst #txt angst #beomgyu angst #no comfort #txt smut #smut #love

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gyeomsweetgyeom · 9 months

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[10:57 pm]

(cw: angst, mentions of receiving hate and threats, no happy ending) (I also have no knowledge of being an idol, I’m a 23 year old teenage latina, I doubt this is accurate)

“I can’t do this anymore,” you sobbed, wiping away at your tears.

Taeyong’s head snapped up, looking at you with teary eyes, “Please don’t tell me you mean us.”

You nodded, trembling hands going up to muffle your sobs. Everything was awful, your perfect little bubble was popped with one stupid slip up. You were both usually so careful about being out in public together, only going out at night, dark clothes, masks, and hats to disguise who you both were. You had both decided that after a year of publicly sneaking around maybe you could finally have dinner together. Wrong, so, so, so wrong. A “fan” had taken both your pictures and someone else must have tipped off Dispatch because the next morning you had woken up to pictures of yours and Taeyong’s faces plastered on every site you clicked on and countless calls from your manager.

The meeting with your company had been disheartening. Even though you had let them know about your relationship months ago, everything had now fallen on your shoulders. You were bringing a bad look to your group and tarnishing your own reputation. It was at least a little hopeful when they told you they’d put out a statement and this would all blow over soon. It felt even more awful sitting beside your manager while she got her own earful for allowing you to sneak off as if she were completely responsible for your own actions. You had apologized profusely after the meeting, begging for her forgiveness. She of course forgave you, but it didn’t ease the pit in your stomach.

Two weeks had passed and you were still under under scrutiny. Scrolling through your instagram, every single post had hate comments that were vicious and heartless. Even your group’s page contained the same comments and threats. You had apologized to your members, promising that it was never your intention to have anything like this happen. They understood, some being in their own relationships and reassured you that everything would work out. Again, it didn’t do anything to ease the guilt and anxiety you felt with the mess your love-filled relationship had become.

Your guilt only grew, learning that your comeback would have to be held off because of all the backlash against the group. You could comeback and risk having your worst public reception yet, or comeback and not be given opportunities to promote anywhere. You had even overheard a few managers from another group from your company talking about how the company shares had taken a very noticeable drop after the news came out. The pit in your stomach only grew at that news.

“Taeyong, nothing good has come from us being exposed to the public. I can’t open any apps because all I see is hate, my members are bombarded with hate too, and we can’t comeback so we don’t make money. I heard them talking about the threats they were getting,” you paused as your voice cracked, “The stocks at the company have taken a hit from this too! All this is my fault!”

“It’s my fault too, but we can’t give up on this- on us. I’ll talk to my manager and we can get the company lawyers involved,” Taeyong tried, reaching for your hand.

“You’re not getting hate like I am Taeyong, you still get to make your comeback and make appearances because no one will assume that my senior is dating me to get his name out. You can keep living your dream, but if I double down this can be all over for me and everyone I work with. My manager almost got fired over this, Taeyong. I’ve known her since I was 15 and she’s the closest this I have to family besides my members this far away from home. I’ve almost ruined people’s livelihoods over this news,” you cried with your head in your hands.

“But we know that’s not what this is, please, my love. Don’t give up on me.”

“It’s not like I want to Taeyong! My manager will get in touch with yours so a statement can be made about us splitting up,” you decided, wiping away your tears as you stood up and left his dorm before he could protest any further.

It was the hardest decision you ever had to make. Nobody understood you like Taeyong. There was no one in the world who could get you like he could, simply because he had gone through the same things you had, he understood the busy schedules, the constant change in time zones, the shoots, the promotions, living with your group members. Unfortunately, that also meant he understood the consequences that could come from both of you becoming public. You had both seen so many peers experience the same thing, and chose to ignore that when it came to the two of you since there wasn’t any plan for you to go public any time soon. It obviously didn’t work out like either of you wanted.

You were about to step out the door, when Taeyong’s voice rang out, “I love you, is that not enough for you? You don’t even want to fight for us? Please, just tell me you love me back.”

“I can’t just think of myself here, It’s beyond me Taeyong- beyond us. I will not put my needs and wants before a team of people, I can’t do that,” You replied, wiping away your stream of tears. “I do love you, but that can’t be enough.”

It was over and it felt so heartbreaking and awful. You loved Taeyong with all your heart, but you had worked so hard to get where you were, where your group was. You couldn’t risk all your hard work and the work of your team going down the drain because you chose to be selfish. In an ideal world, you could live your dream and have your love, but it didn’t always work like that.

#kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #nct #nct imagines #nct timestamps #nct x reader #taeyong x reader #taeyong scenarios #taeyong blurbs #taeyong timestamps #taeyong angst #taeyong imagines

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hollowwrites · 10 months

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Welcome to Slytherin

Summary - Sort of a prequel to Scriptorium! As someone who pretty much only plays as a Slytherin, I always love how sweet Ominis is at the beginning. Thought I’d write a little extension for it!

I’m thinking of doing the Undercroft Quest next? Writing angy Omi might be fun!

Warnings - possibly bullying(?) very slight

Word Count - 1431

Just keep your head down. Don’t draw anymore unnecessary attention to yourself.

Evelyn slumped down the stairs into the main lobby of the Slytherin Common Room. It was huge. In any other circumstance, she’d have loved nothing more than to walk through it’s many oddities and learn what she could about her new home. But right now, she already had half of the school talking about her behind her back, and the other half were doing it to her face.

Immediately she noticed, no one wore their school cloak. A gaggle of pretty sixth year girls turned to eye her up, before gathering back around and giggling.

“It’s like she’s a first year”

“She basically is. Just missing the stupid hat”

“How tragic”

Just breathe. The whole day can’t be like this.

She pulled the lapels of her cloak around her, hoping it would swallow her up, or at least maybe make her invisible. Puffing her cheeks out, exasperated already, she rounded the corner by a fireplace, making her way towards one of the plush chairs in front. Keeping her head down meant she wasn’t fully paying attention to her surroundings and she almost careened straight into a tall pacing boy.

“Can I help you?” He said not looking up from his book.

That was it. Her patience had run out. The next person who makes a snarky comment was going to be on the receiving end of her wand.

He looked up, finally, and was greeted with a rather unpleasant expression across the new students face.

“Ah, you’re the new fifth year! I’m Sebastian Sallow. Welcome to Slytherin!” He beamed, clapping his book shut and throwing it on the chair she was hoping to crawl into.

He seemed…pleasant.

Her features softened at his tone, the background chatter of the other students falling upon deaf ears.

“Thank you. I’m Evelyn Hollow”

“Charmed” he laughed as though that was a joke. She didn’t understand “Charmed? Charms. The class?”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow” she shrugged.

“You really are new to magic!” He chuckled again and she couldn’t help but smile back “Well that still doesn’t explain the Ministry escort” it wasn’t a question but the tilt of his head suggested he wanted an answer.

“Oh, he was a friend of Professor Figs. He was merely joining us for the ride”

“Hmmm…dreadful way to go. I’m glad you and Fig are alright.” His eyebrows bunched together with concern.

“Thank you, we were lucky with our escape” Evelyn shifted on her feet, reliving George’s final moments in her mind again “It’s all…a bit of a blur”

“Didn’t mean to press. You just get yourself settled. We can talk more later” he smiled before his eyes widened “Oh, you should speak with Ominis. He’s the one leaning by the window. We’re in your Defence Against the Dark Arts class…at least I assume you are. Professor Hecat has her hands full with the Gryffindors in the other class” he rolled his eyes leaning to retrieve his book again.

“Defends Against the Dark Arts? Sorry, I don’t know very much about this world it’s all… extremely new to me” she stumbled over her words, not wanting to add ‘Naive’ to the long list of the words people were using for her

“Ah but that piqued your interest? Seems I have found a Kindred Spirit. You best get going before I talk your ear off. It was nice meeting you. Good luck today” he smiled warmly before plonking himself down in the seat beside her, continuing to study the old pages intently.

“Oh I think I heard one” the student tugged at their friends cloak pointing off into the distant depths of the lake.

Ominis laughed breathily. He’d been listening purposefully for the last few minutes. No such noise had occurred.

His holstered wand, sitting comfortably in his back pocket, alerted him to the presence of someone approaching. No doubt Sebastian, no one else dare speak to the macabre and scary Heir of Salazar Slytherin.

“Hmph, doubt mermaids find us that interesting” he said to him, tilting his head slightly in Sebastian’s direction.

“Sorry did you say mermaids?” A startled female voice sang out from the figure.

Oh. Not Sebastian then.

“Apologies I…thought you were someone else” he listened more carefully to her. Her heartbeat was elevated. She was fiddling with her cloak and the sea of gossip behind her all pointed to who she was “Ah…based on the chatter I’m guessing you’re the new fifth year. I’m Ominis. Ominis Gaunt”

“Nice to meet you, Ominis. I’m Evelyn. Hollow.”

Hmmm. No flinching, or gasping. She hasn’t thrown anything at him. Was it possible she had no idea who he was?

“Pleasure. You certainly had a memorable arrival”

“Yes it was…less than ideal I should say” he heard her shuffle about. Was she nervous?

“Did you see the way they just waltzed on in at the end of the sorting ceremony last night”

She sighed, listening to the gossip behind her.

“Ignore them. You’re the most interesting thing to happen in a long time” he shook his head. Some people just have no class.

“Thank you. Although ‘interesting’ is a bit of a stretch.”

“Oh yes. The girl who survived a dragon attack. Not interesting at all” he remarked sarcastically.

“Well, when you put it like that I sound positively heroic” she giggled

“Ha, you’re definitely in the right House” he found himself laughing along with her, easily.

“You’ll have to forgive me, I don’t really understand what that means”

“You’re muggleborn?” He asked rather surprised. From what he had heard, she’d managed to handle herself well enough against a dragon attack. He assumed she was born into magic

“Erm-“

“Sorry, born to non magical parents”

“Ah then yes” he heard the smile in her voice and couldn’t help but reciprocate. That must be why she’s talking to him so easily.

“I see. Well then…We Slytherins are known for our Ambition, Cunning and Determination”

“How lovely” she said dryly, raising an eyebrow. Where did she fit in on that spectrum?

“It’s also known for Dark Magic, Pure-blood mania and general Doom and Gloom” he smirked

“Ah. The Doom and Gloom will be why I am here. I can be rather miserable.” She laughed gleefully, the juxtaposition of her statement and laugh, causing a tiny chuckle to escape Ominis “Why were you sorted into Slytherin do you think?”

“I’m, rather unfortunately, a direct descendant of the Founder. Salazar Slytherin. On my fathers side.”

“Unfortunately?” She found herself leaning into him. This was the most normal she had felt in a long time. And considering this was a conversation with a relative of the founder of a magical castle, under water, about dragons and magic, spoke volumes for the strange direction her life had turned to.

“Yes. He was obsessed with blood status. A pure blood maniac. It’s not something I’m especially proud of, mind you, considering the majority of his descendants do not fall far from that tree. I don’t believe in any of that, don’t worry” he offered her a vacant smile

“And here I was fearing for my life” she jabbed

“Is the new fifth-year Slytherin in here? Professor Weasleys waiting for you, just by the stairs” a girl called out

“Hmph, that’s me! Pleasure to meet you, Ominis”

“Pleasure was all mine. Do let me know if I can be of any help as you navigate your first days here. Though I doubt you’ll need it. Don’t be a stranger”

“I appreciate it. I believe we share some classes together so I may just take you up on that offer.” And with that she turned and left the room, the idle gossip followed her as she did.

“That new fifth years been talking to Gaunt for a while now. No doubt he’ll try to stick his claws in her”

Just before she could leave, Ominis pointed his wand in her direction, trying to gather as much information about her as possible.

Unfortunately, all he gained was that she was shorter than him, with an aggressive walk.

“Distracted Ominis?” Ominis clutched his heart, jumping out of his skin.

“Merlin’s Beard, Sebastian. Why?”

“Unlike you to not hear someone sneak up on you. Something must have really caught your attention” Ominis could hear the wiggle of his eyebrows through his voice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he retorted, pocketing his wand quickly.

“You’re bright red, Ominis” Sebastian poked his cheek before being slapped away

“It’s warm…” he mumbled

“She’s quite something though. Isn’t she?”

“She is…rather lovely”

Masterlist

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thehopelessexception · 1 month

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how can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22 (almost 24)

warning: im writing this while im on my period and eating ice cream.

i've been dissociating for what now? half a year maybe more. i dont recognize reality. i feel im floating in this sea we call society and i've been feeling the wilson of the story here. i assume everything that's happening around me is real, ofc. but that doesnt make it any less a convenient arrangement i build for myself to try to act like a real person and not freak out. i am feeling out of reality. like the part of the game where you let the sim on auto-mode. i am the sim on auto-mode. and i don't know how to stop this stage of oblivion.

to make a vague introduction, the thing with me is that im a living paradox of a full time contradiction. i am flamboyant but i hate being perceived. i like to speak up for myself but i hate people thinking about me because of it. i have my own process of how i understand things. i trust logic and i question everything. im quite skeptical over things when there's no empirical evidence. i seek for knowledge. critical thinking, data analysis and the whole stuff. i know myself. i sometimes look like i am too obnoxious, frivolous, morally corrupted (people have told me that), when i obsess over something —because i sometimes treat people like they are stupid (not my intention really)—; but probably the only thing im completely sure of is myself. i tend to be a confident person, to have an ego, to not let the guard down, to calculate every single move. and lately i am noticing myself being impulsive, insecure, nervous, weird, saying stupid shit, nonsenses, feeling small. and i don't know how to make it stop. the thing is i put my whole self-esteem backed up by my intelligence, however im not sure of anything anymore. i don't know if the reason behind not recognising myself lately is the fact i have somehow a new crush —or a new hyperfixation for that matter— or just the natural act of growing, also known as the quarter life crisis.

i have this thing where i hyperfix on random stuff, i've been like this my whole life. one of my friends even made a powerpoint of all the things i've been obsessed with over the years. and the issue here is that this things never last that much, or maybe they do? i actually never though about it. the most random ones i remember are probably me buying ice-cream cakes of this specific brand every week for two months. i also got obsessed with eating too many scrambled eggs all day every day for a very long time. then it was that turkish telenovela on an airing channel. then ofc succession, and it grew into watching every single movie kieran culkin was part of. the world cup. mbti —im intj by the way—. red white and royal blue (i watched it five times in a day), then nicholas galitzine —did yk he has a lineage that comes all the way from the romanovs?— and his entire filmography. and also politics, i got way into politics; election campaigns, follow up candidates, history, economy, the law, etc (my candidate lost tho) (we're succumbing to disgrace) (like literally we collectively, as a country, haven't had any kind of good news since then) (please help me). and etc etc. but the thing is, i also hyperfix on random people, or not so random i guess. it doesnt happen very often tho, im quite picky, but the procedure is this: i meet someone, they draw somehow my attention, i want to know everything about this person, i talk to this person a lot (medium to long term) (week to months), and then this person becomes my friend or i get bored and completely ignore them for the rest of my life and move on.

but this time is different, or im feeling it different. i find myself questioning everything i know and i was convinced of. i dont know if it has something to do with the fact that i met someone, probably the first person wise enough to make me question if i was ever correct about anything. maybe i am hyperfixating on this person, idealizing them. but it's truly amazing how much more data this person has about everything i know of. and right now i feel way too insecure, because even if this person told me they find me smart and they enjoy talking to me, i am always thinking that if i say something not completely fact-checked they'll think im stupid. it's absurd. it's a boohoo situation, i know. and it's a process im having about who am i, or what am i supposed to be. some months ago the whole context around my life changed or i think it changed? i dont know how to explain it, —i mean i know how but i would have to talk about other things not related to this (politics stuff, things happening in my country, etc). i'll probably will make a new post about it someday—. but the whole issue is, i dont know myself anymore. and everything is crumbling.

im afraid the person i build for myself it's a fraud. or doesnt exist anymore.

i remember myself at 18, and i was this marvellous whole person. independent, smart, focused, driven. that girl spent their whole days outside her house. did everything she wanted to. wasnt scared of anything. and i look at myself now and think how? the pandemic has a lot to do with it i guess, but when i first heard taylor saying that in nothing new i thought "that wont happen to me". guess what, i was wrong.

for my fellow girlies being 23 —in my experience— is exactly how they say it will be. the worst age of your life.

next month is my birthday and im pushing 24. and i have to say my life is a mess. but i dont know if i can call it a mess because it is truly a mess or because i am a complete drama queen. because people probably have worse problems than mine, and i am what you call a white girl, only poorer —and a third world country citizen—. the issue is, i am almost 24, almost 25. almost 27. ALMOST 30. and i did nothing with my life. absolutely nothing. my mom had me at 29 for god's sake.

and by nothing i mean everything i do is not enough to feel it worthy of a life well-lived. should i look for a job and work while studying just to say i am extremely occupied because i have somehow a life? just to feel something? even if that makes my stress situation and anxiety even worse? should i somehow save enough money so i can move from my parents house? even if for my whole generation it's close to impossible? is studying something i (kinda) like enough to not feel like shit about myself? i've never had a boyfriend, nor girlfriend. shoud i look for one? get myself one? even if i dont think any of that would make me happy? i dont think i know happiness as a state of mind, nor the concept of it.

i dont feel like i have many anecdotes to tell in my future. should i measure the life-worth by anecdotes? my friends feel the same way i do, but they have a more organized life. jobs, boyfriends, careers, plans for the future, one of my closest friends move to the other side of the world with her boyfriend (!) in the blink of an eye. but they aren't much happy nor they have many anecdotes either. and i dont have the money or the guts or the available friends to create any.

every day i understand fleabag a bit more.

my favourite anecdotes about my life are from when i was about 13 and 15 years, also known as the worst time of my life. i didnt appreciated it back then, probably none of us did. but when we were teens everything was possible and we didnt have a care on anything other than mundane stuff or rebellious stuff but nothing more than yelling at people, drinking and smoking weird shit (i never had weed tho). not a real responsibility. being careless, free, avoiding consequences that mattered. i think that girl hates me right now. and i am not sure if that's the feeling i should have or if it's just utterly pathetic.

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stiffyck · 1 month

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Hello Stiff,

I have been a long time fan of your art. I followed you a while back when I first saw your art pop up on my dashboard. Your art was always wonderful to me, and you had such interesting and new ideas for your Scar designs. I mean, four ears? That was so cool! And who doesn't love a good trans Scar?

Recently, there's been a change in your art that I (along with several others) have noticed. It's something you often point out as a "good" thing, but frankly, it's quite hurtful. You've been drawing Scar with a very large nose, and good on you! You're very right in saying that the hermit and traffic communities have a tendency to not draw more marginalized or "uncommon" body types. We love seeing more diverse bodies and features in art! I myself have a bigger nose and have longed for people with my features to be shown in media.

I say this with the utmost kindness and respect for your art, as a longtime fan: The way you draw Scar's nose is like a caricature. I don't understand, whenever I see your art pop up onto my dashboard, how you cannot see it. As an artist, I assume you know more about correct proportions and such than I, but this just feels (and I hate to use such strong language here) absurd. Drawing large noses is a great thing, but this feels like something I would see in an old, racist cartoon.

And it's just Scar, as well! You draw everyone else wonderfully, but you give Scar such a disproportionately large nose! At this point, it feels like you're patting yourself on the back for drawing racist caricatures. I have never seen people be drawn like this otherwise. Please, look at images of people with larger noses. Look at their proportions. Compare this to your art. You will see the difference!

I say this not as someone who wants to bring you down, but as a fan who is concerned about the way your art has been going. I'm a little surprised you haven't had people point this out to you before, frankly. I hope you take this not as something meant to insult you, but as something meant to educate and bring to light something that you may have overlooked in the name of doing something good.

Please take time to think on this and reflect. While I'd appreciate a response, one isn't necessary, as long as you do something to change. Apologies for sending this on anonymous, but I don't wish to possibly put myself under attack for saying something I truly believe in.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

I feel like some of the art I drew could come off as a caricature but the most recent one with pizza genuinely just looks like a cartoony drawing to me? Like this just looks like a character I'd see in a cartoon? I can see why some of my other pieces may have come off as a caricature even tho that was not my intention.

Obviously I don't want to make something hurtful or racist in nature so I'm genuinely sorry if anything I drew came off that way.

I'm not gonna be drawing his nose this way anymore and I'll probably lay off from posting art for now

#asks #i dont know what to tag this #its 3 am i dont have a better response rn maybe in the morning idk #genuinely sorry if i hurt anyone by my art

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runnning-outof-time · 2 years

Text

Devotion | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: no - part of @sunsetmourners ‘s 300 followers celebration

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: (Y/N)’s by Tommy’s side from the beginning, and she has every intention of staying by his side for as long as she can.

Warnings: smoking, language, familial argument, mentions of war/ptsd

Word Count: 2130

A/N: let me start off by saying that I loved this idea for a celebration. The poem I chose to base this story off of is called ‘Devotion’ by Robert Frost. It’s a short poem and is included in the bold letters within the story. Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

"The heart can think of no devotion,

Greater than being shore to ocean..."

Right from the moment she met him, (Y/N) had been devoted to Tommy Shelby. Whether it was through defending his name in front of her parents (who thought she was too good a girl to be with a boy like him), or making sure that he had someone to talk to when his family problems became too much for him to bear. She was there for him, and he could count on her.

And as they got older, they grew closer. So close that not even the Great War could dull what they had. (Y/N) waited for him. She wrote to him constantly and prayed for his safe homecoming. After three long years of waiting, her prayers were finally answered. Even though the man that returned to her was noticeably different from the man that left her on the very same platform, (Y/N) still decided to stay devoted to him.

Her parents didn't like her decision. They would have much rather seen their daughter with a respectable man — one who managed to dodge the draft and was now spared of shell shock and trauma, but (Y/N) didn't want that. She wanted the man whom she had waited for. The man who was now home with her once more. So, to finally show her parents that she would not be heeding to their wishes, she decided to move out of their home and into Tommy's. He happily accepted her, feeling a bit more content now that he had someone around that would be by his side, always.

She was in the middle of washing the dishes when the door opened and slammed shut. Before she could question who it was, it opened and slammed shut again.

"You need to get over yourself, Thomas," it was Polly; the woman who was like a mother to the Shelbys, and who ran the business while the boys were at war. By the sounds of it, she wasn't happy.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean, Pol?" Tommy's voice held no positive emotions either.

The both of them came quickly walking from the entryway into the main area, where (Y/N) nearly dropped the dish she was drying at their sudden entrance. "You need to do what's right for our business," Polly continued, staying at the far side of the room while Tommy continued stalking over to the doors that separated the living quarters from the betting shop.

"I am doing what's right for our business," he answered in a low voice, trying to keep his anger in check.

"Keeping those stolen guns is not what is right for business...it'll get us all hanged," each word that Polly uttered held more anger than the last, and at this point, (Y/N) was standing shocked watching the intense verbal tennis match unfold in front of her. "You know I kept this whole bloody enterprise afloat while you boys were away at war," she added in, reminding him of the feat that she'd accomplished.

"Yeah? Well we came back, Pol," Tommy answered, his eyes wide as he spoke, "we all fucking came back, and I've assumed leadership now. Arthur handed it over to me; couldn't fucking handle it. And this is how I'm handling it," he told her, the tone of his voice showing that his statement was not up for discussion. He grabbed hold of the green doors' knobs then and held them for a moment before he turned to face the woman he was angry with, "and I don't want to hear anymore comments about the war, eh?" he told her, his eyebrows raised once more. "It's over. Shut the door on it," and with that, he was gone.

Polly let out a long sigh once it was just her and (Y/N) in the room. She shook her head and moved over to the dining table, sitting in one of the chairs as she pulled a cigarette out of the tin and lit it. "Why are you so devoted to him, (Y/N)?" she asked, finally speaking after a few moments of silence had passed.

"He's good to me, Pol," (Y/N) responded as if it was the easiest question she'd ever been asked.

Polly scoffed at her answer, shaking her head slightly as she blew the smoke out in a thin line. "Yeah? Well you're about all he's good to...the bloody idiot that he is," she commented, her demeaning words making a frown form on (Y/N)'s face.

"Don't speak like that about him, Polly. He's good to you as well," (Y/N) immediately stuck up for her partner, "and how low is that of you to say such things about your nephew...after all that he's done for the family in this short amount time," she then took a moment to criticize the other woman's word choice.

Polly gave the younger woman a pointed look. She was surprised that (Y/N) had it in her to respond in such a way. But she couldn't be angry at her for doing so. She knew of the connection that she and Tommy had. It was one that was rare; (Y/N) knew him like no one else did.

(Y/N) held her steadfast gaze on the other woman. She hated to see the animosity that had been stacked up against Tommy seemingly from the second he returned home. The worst of it came from his own family too. They didn't understand the reasons why he was making the decisions he made, and they often got mad at him for them.

"You need to speak some sense into him...since he listens to you when you speak," Polly said after a few silent moments had passed. "He cannot keep those guns under his possession...he needs to dump them."

"I'll speak to him, Pol," (Y/N) nodded her head, the slight smile that formed on her face showing the older woman that she was on her side and that she'd see what she could do. Polly only nodded before (Y/N) got back to drying the remaining dishes.

It was rather late in the evening when Tommy finally came back through the door of his house. He wasn't expecting (Y/N) to be sitting on the couch by the fire. She had a soft smile on her face as she worked on her current knitting project.

"You're still awake, love," Tommy stated once he stopped by the dining table. He took off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of a chair before walking over to where she was sitting.

"Yeah," she answered in a nonchalant tone, still focused on her knitting.

"Not tired?"

"No."

Tommy nodded at her response. "I'm going up to the bedroom," he then told her.

"Ok. I'll be right up," she smiled at him and he nodded before going to the steps.

(Y/N) sat in silence for a few more minutes, finishing what she was working on before she put her things aside and stood from the couch. Slowly, she made her way up the steps, trying hard not to wake Finn, who was sleeping in one of the other rooms.

She walked down the hall and knocked softly on the door at the end of it, letting Tommy know that she was entering before opening the door. She had learned to do this the hard way, when she opened the door to a revolver pointed in her direction. These knocks were only to let him know that she was there, she didn't wait for a response before opening the door and entering the room.

"Hey," she greeted Tommy softly. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, a cigarette perched between the fingers of the hand that was on his knee; bracing himself as he was hunched over slightly. He looked up at the sound of her voice and nodded in her direction, his silent way of greeting her. "You're not dressed for bed yet," she commented as she moved over to the wardrobe and began the process of changing into her night clothes.

"Might go down to the floor again; do the evening tallies...I haven't decided yet," he told her, clearing his throat after he spoke.

(Y/N) frowned slightly as she heard his response. "There's no need for that, Tommy. Stay up here for the night...maybe try to get some sleep," she then voiced her thoughts on his dilemma.

"But..."

"But nothing, love. You deserve a night's rest. Especially with everything you've been doing for us and this family," she cut him off, not wanting to hear his excuse for throwing himself back into work.

"It's still not enough," Tommy mumbled, hoping to keep the words to himself, but (Y/N) heard them.

She let out a sigh as she moved over to the bed. She then sat down beside Tommy and turned her head to look at him. His head was hung, his eyes focused on the ground. Gently, she reached over and placed her hand on his thigh. Tommy glanced in her direction at the feeling of her touch, and he couldn't ignore the feeling he got inside when she smiled at him.

"Polly wanted me to talk to you..." she started, her words making Tommy scoff before he brought the half-spent cigarette up to his lips for a drag. "She told me to speak some sense into you," she paused again, laughing slightly as she recited the older woman's words. Tommy shook his head and sighed, bracing himself for what was to come. What she said next surprised him though. "I'm not going to do that though. I know why you do the things you do, Tommy...I think..." her added statement earned a laugh from him, "I know you that do what you do for this family and that the moves you make are moves that are well-calculated and will hopefully bring us fortune. So I trust you. I have trust in the things you are doing, and I know that you have our best interest in heart," she paused a beat before adding, "I love you," and with that she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

Nothing more was said as Tommy reached over to the bedside table to stamp out the cigarette in his hand. (Y/N) watched him quietly, hoping that he received her words well. She got her answer when Tommy turned back around and reached out to take her cheeks into his hands so that he could pull her into a passionate kiss. His actions said all of the words that he couldn't, and (Y/N) couldn't help but smile against his lips.

"I'm gonna marry you, (Y/N)," he told her once he pulled away, his voice full of honesty as his eyes stayed locked onto hers.

"Tommy," she breathed, a smile on her face as butterflies fluttered in her stomach at his words. She reached up and placed her one hand on top of his, squeezing it gently as another show of her love for him.

"I'm serious, love. You're the only one who's been in my corner every step of the way," he doubled down on his statement, his eyes searching hers as he spoke.

"I told you from the start, I'm devoted to you, Tommy," she reminded him, smiling so wide that her cheeks were starting to hurt.

"I know, I know," he nodded, a smile forming on his lips, "but I'm gonna marry you. I'm gonna get you a decent ring; make sure that we're settled with the business first. And I'll do it right..." he paused, laughing to himself slightly, "get down on one knee and ask you to be mine for forever."

(Y/N) was trying not to cry at this point, laughing as the butterflies continued to go crazy inside of her. "Since when are you such a sap, Tom, eh?" she joked, laughing again as he reached over to brush a tear off of her cheek.

“This is what you do to me,” he grinned, making (Y/N) laugh once more before she leaned in and kissed him, unable to stop herself from doing so. “Soon enough we’re not gonna have any problems,” he told her once they pulled away, “the tracks’ll be ours and we’ll expand out of Birmingham, maybe even over to the fucking United States,” he laid out his plans for their future.

“I’ll be by your side for all of it,” she assured him, meaning those words with every bit of her heart.

“Holding the curve of one position,

Counting an endless repetition.”

Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @magicalxdaydream @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

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whatbigotspost · 2 years

Text

Oh this advice that just randomly came across my Twitter feed is very very good

I’d be lying to you if I claimed I have “beaten” overthinking bc I’ll be managing those tendencies forever I think. but over probably a 15 year process I, too, have adopted many of these and my mental health is in a pretty damn good place utilizing these tools.

Especially important for me as a survivor of mental/emotional child abuse has been FACT CHECKING and understanding what I’m ruminating on likely isn’t reality if no one else has heard it yet, it’s merely “the story I am telling myself.”

The voice of my particular inner critic is my father’s judgements, lies, and paranoia. As I’ve written about many times before the poison he dripped in my ears for 18 years made me feel like I’ll never be good enough and made it super hard to trust the good intentions of other people. Meaning, the disposition I inherited against my consent is overly negative. Many people like and even love me but I interact with them while having a bias baked into me that is against myself and assumes they are against me too (until I consciously push back against that mindset.)

I’ve worked really hard to confront and quiet that inner critic and it doesn’t nearly drive me as much anymore as it used to and as I always ramble about a self-compassion approach is my jam. Nevertheless, the biggest way the inner critic impacts me day-to-day is that if I interact w/ someone and for whatever reason real or imagined, I feel like they sounded even a teensie bit like that inner critic come to life, it can REALLY fuck with me. I feel exposed and worthless. Sometimes I can fact check myself and recognize “that’s not what was happening, this is a YOU thing.” I do that by literally walking myself through a memory and trying to focus on what was really said or done and not what I have catastrophized it to be.

But other times when I’m spinning out baaaad and overthinking something maybe even for days (aka when I’m hella triggered), I literally tell people involved (who I know well enough) something like “hey remember back when XYZ happened between us well it’s triggering all my personal bullshit so I wanted to just ask, when you said blah blah, did you mean [insert my own insecurity] because the story I’m telling myself…” etc etc you get it.

AND!!!! THIS!!! works sooooo well. It’s vulnerable but honest and anyone worth spending time around is always so happy to clear up that they don’t hate me 😂 Finding phrases like “the story I’m telling myself” have been a revelation. Used this at work last week and went from “I have irreparably failed this person and am worthless” to “oh they actually had a super important idea to add to the project that I’m so glad they brought up so that I didn’t miss it.” I don’t know it’s nice to remind ourselves that instead of overthinking something that involved other people (who we trust) we can so often just TALK TO THEM.

Let me end on this though…..be very very cautious of attempting to fact check with someone whose own perspective might be divergent from reality, who is manipulative, or who is solely or largely self serving. Years ago when I still spoke to my dad not long before we stopped speaking and I tried to fact check what was said in an argument the resulting experience for me was MUCH WORSE than if I would have never approached him.

Aaaaanyway…overthinking sucks. These tips are great.

#abuse #overthinking #anxiety #resources #child abuse #good advice

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axailslink · 1 year

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hey darling

Could you please write us a Shuri x reader my idea would be

There was a big festival in Wakanda everyone was there and when I say everyone then everyone shuri and the reader know each other since childhood but i mean she is the princess she probably doesn't remember the reader anymore but leser still has a crush on her The reader and his friends dance on stage in beautiful costumes When the reader takes a break backstage, Shuri suddenly comes and wants to talk to her (maybe for a date <3)

And love your storys <3

Festival Feels

Shuri Udaku x FEM reader

Part 1

Part 2

Summary: You and Shuri are childhood friends who drifted apart with Shuri's new found responsibilities but she hasn't seen you since you both were kids now you both are grown...feelings are revealed dates are planned

The festival of stories is its name it's a festival in which you celebrate your protectors the black panther, the Dora Milaje and the tribes. Out of respect everyone comes each year. Although it seems like an obligation it's really all just good fun, food and laughs which is why you always decided to help every year. This year you have a bigger role though you're one of the performance dancers so you're currently struggling to get into your tights. It would maybe help if you weren't also trying to stare at Shuri the princess of your lovely nation but to you she's "Shuri the smart ass" the beautiful and bold Shuri who's also quite the smartass. Eventually you get into your tights and put the rest of your outfit on thankfully just in time because you're yanked up "ah foo!? What's wrong with you?" You snatch your arm from one of your dance mates "It's time we can't mess up this year Shuri came" you nod and get up following her leaving your shoes behind because you didn't need them for the performance.

Your performance is amazing your body moves with ease and you don't forget to smile as you dance and watch the crowd you notice Shuri catches your attention a few times just looking as beautiful as ever. Every time you glance at her she's watching you with intent but she's smiling and yelling while hyping you and the other dancers up. You have to be imagining this but you're sure she's watching you more than any other dancer which is true. Her eyes don't leave you throughout the whole dance. If you are being honest this makes you nervous her stare is so intense. It's making you warm in too many places if you do say so yourself.

When you're finally finished dancing you might as well run off stage to go take your seat back stage you couldn't stand to be on stage anymore. Her stare was demanding and wanting it was kind of attractive. The way she can pull you to her with only a look that's power and you've always respected power. You put your head down just breathe for a moment your heart is racing and your face is warm. Are you blushing? People of color don't blush do they? You're thoughts are interrupted when you feel a hand on your shoulder it's one of the other performers "uthando (love) are you alright?" You nod quickly it's not all too believable because of your current state you're bent over your desk breathing hard and you're so warm she can possibly see the heat radiating off of you. "Oh I'm fine" she nods and smiles "you did amazing we're going to go see the Dora Milaje you coming?" You shake your head no "I think I'll stay here I'm a bit all over the place currently" she sighs and rubs your shoulder before leaving. Leaving you with your racing thoughts what if the whole time she was looking at a dancer next to me? No she was definitely looking at me... Why though? Maybe she recognizes me and remembers me. That's sounds stupid if I recognized someone I wouldn't be eyeing them down as if I want them for dinner. Oh oh shit maybe she was eyeing you down for that exact reason. Your thoughts are once again interrupted when you feel a strong hand on your shoulder assuming it's the performer again you mumble "I said I was fine" but the voice completely catches you off guard it's soft like satin so easy to listen to "well I know you're fine" you turn your head so fast whiplash catches you you don't catch whiplash. "Princess" you sign your arms into a cross and she does the same "we're old friends you don't have to do that or call me princess." You nod as you realize that she's so much taller than you while she's standing so you awkwardly and slowly stand because if you were to stay down there her stare would eat you alive. She has such an intimidating stare but good Lord it's not doing it's job it's only making you hot.

Although her stare is deadly she's smiling warmly at you "you were amazing. You really showed how well...the Dora Milaje...uhm" she keeps pausing that's always a dead give away has been since she was a child she's nervous. You of course use this to your advantage "you're nervous do I make you nervous?" She smiles and chuckles a bit "is it that obvious?" You nod "you forget pri- Shuri we used to be close friends I know all your tells and how your mother caught you kissing your first girlfriend at a family function." She shushes you and laughs "you promised you'd take that to the grave!" Her laugh is like music to your ears you haven't heard it in so long but you could listen to it all day.

Her laughing ceases but the smile only widens "I didn't come back here to talk about old memories" and the nerves return to her and to you. You're gently tapping your bare for against the cool grass "then what did you come back here to talk about?" She smiles as she sees a smile slowly peaks into your face it's hard to notice but it's definitely there "we're adults now and mother wouldn't have anything to say as long as it's not at a family function." You laugh missing the point of her words until you slowly rethink them "are you asking me out Shuri Udaku of Wakanda?" She shrugs "if you're saying yes I am" you turn around and place your hand over your heart just to take a breather to calm yourself down. When you turn back around you don't hesitate as you grab her jaw and bring her down to your height to kiss her firmly but softly her hands roam as her body pushes you into the makeup table. "Shuri we shouldn't get too carried away" she smiles and kisses your neck "we won't."

"I think you already have get off my make up table girl yintoni engalunganga kuni nonke (what is wrong with you all) Bast's sake" you gently hop down and shake your head. "Sorry mother" Shuri's response makes you smile but queen mother looks at you both and shakes her head "go find a room if people see this it will be all they can talk about how indecent the princess is with her lovers" you turn your head "lovers?" She shakes her head no "no absolutely not mother is trying to be funny not lovers plural lover singular." You roll your eyes and look her up and down "right."

You two slowly walk past queen mother Shuri is nervous while you can't stop laughing "you're mother has been a cock block since we were teens" she finally laughs letting her nerves settle "well we're adults she can lecture us about indecency later" she kisses you and you smile into the kiss not caring who sees. "We should enjoy the festival first." You nod but you don't move away. "You're a heartbreaker you know that?" She cocks her head "when have I ever broken your heart?" You look at the ring she gave you when you were still but girls you never took it off even though now it only fits on your pinkie finger. "When you fake married me and left you should have married me for real" she laughs and kisses your cheek "give me a year tops trust I'll be looking for the right ring." Her hands intertwine with yours and you smile to yourself I hope the right ring is the one her mother owns.

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sezez · 2 months

Text

Let's talk about Exp. 1006, the Prototype. He is by far a mystery, cause I can't tell if he's really bad or good. But with some of the things he did in Chapter, I think it's safe to say that 1006 had some good intention, but right now he has bad ones.

The Prototype never cared for Catnap, he was just a tool to him:

I always had a feeling that Exp. 1006 didn't actually cared for Catnap nor the other experiments. The moment he killed Catnap I knew my assumption was true, I know others say Catnap sacrifice himself for the Prototype. But if we look back at the ARG, the story of Theodore Grambell and how he became Catnap, it tells me something.

Many assume that 1006 is good and that he did cared for the orphans because he saved Theodore rather than escaping when he had the chance. But to me, I think this is the Prototype scheming something.

I believe that the reason why 1006 saved Theodore is because he knew Theo was one of the candidates picked to be Catnap. And when Theo did became Catnap, that only help 1006 take advantage. He knows since he saved Catnap, he will follow every command 1006 tells him and will do everything and anything for him.

I believe that 1006 never really cared for Catnap, he just needed him to make his plan work.

And when Catnap got defeated by the Protagonist, getting electrocuted and burned like he did when he was human, the Prototype came down and pretended he was gonna help him like he did last time.

But it was a trick, 1006 took this opportunity and kill Catnap so he can combine his body to his own.

And I had a feeling that the reason why Mommy Long Legs seem terrified of 1006 when she was getting killed, is because she knew what he was after all along and she did not want that.

I believe that after the Hour of Joy, the Prototype showed his true colors to the other experiments and that's what made them fear and hate him (aside from Catnap and possibly a few others).

The Prototype isn't Elliot Ludwig, or atleast not anymore:

As much as there are many hints to Elliot being the Prototype, I still have my doubts. Yes, it's most likely that Elliot is out of the picture by the time the Bigger Body Initiative started, and I do believe that Elliot is perhaps the Prototype.

And maybe he became the Prototype as a way to escape, after all, he does seem rather suspicious and a new discovery was unfold to the public such as a dead boy inside his home. So, he volunteered to become Exp. 1006 to escape the law or he was getting too old. And in Matpat's video, he forgot who he was and turn against the scientist. And yet, the Prototype we meet in the game is different, he doesn't seem to care for the toys at all, taking any opportunity to strike them even though he is the reason why they're free from experimentation.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, I have this theory that the Prototype is like a parasite, needing a host to survive. Or let's say, if the original owner dies, someone can take it's place.

I don't have much evidence, but it's rather unique that 1006 can mimic voices. However it'd all being controlled by one person, and that got me thinking.

If Elliot Ludwig is infact 1006, which explains why Harley said there is something precious inside 1006's core, then why did he change? Why did he became evil after seemingly saving the toys and stopping the scientists to continue experimenting? He was a kind man, so why the sudden change?

Well, I believe that the Prototype in the past (before Playtime Co.'s downfall) is NOT the same as the one in the present (During the Game).

I think that maybe during the Hour Of Joy, the og person in 1006 died and someone took it's place.

That sounds crazy right? I know, since Poppy Playtime seems to be more on experimental and science kind of horror rather than ghosts and possession like in FNAF. But who knows?

Exp. 1006, the Prototype has been going after only one goal, to be human again:

Y'know how in Poppy Playtime, the scientists turns humans into toys, right?

So, is it possible for a toy to become human again?

It may seem impossible, but it was the same with the Bigger Body Initiative. Harley said it was to other people, but he proved them wrong. And you must be wondering, why does the Prototype want to become human again?

The answer is quite simple, to escape the factory.

That pretty much makes sense, cause what would you do if you were trapped inside a factory filled with hungry toys for a decade? You would want to escape too. I believe 1006 was the one who sent the letter to the Protagonist after finding out they're still alive, I think he did this so he can see if the Protag's body will be a good vessel for him.

Perhaps he'd done this before, wether the person was a employee or not, he send out the letter and see what they're made of. And if they fail, he'll try again with another one.

And it seems like the Protagonist is the perfect vessel, capable to do the impossible.

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime theory #poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime 1006 #poppy playtime prototype #project playtime

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sharonisthebettercarter · 7 months

Text

we need to have an honest conversation about hostile attribution bias, honesty, and bullying.

@deliciouskeys i've had enough of this shit. you wanted to piss me off. now i'm pissed the fuck off.

hey, hiiii. friends of hers? critics? whoever you are reading this and willing to hear me out, i just wanna start by saying don't hate on her or anyone for this. don't send harassment, don't send anon hate, don't even unfollow her if you do read this all the way and find yourself upset with the topics discussed or her actions.

or maybe you wouldn't anyway, and you've already decided i'm insane, fine. but if you are friends of hers, don't barrage her with verbal abuse of any kind even if you are disappointed or disgusted, i'm not about that. and good friends won't just coddle and take your side to enable the bullshit, but they won't try to hurt you when you're down either

and to clarify what this is? it is a harsh criticism of ongoing behavior i have faced from her behind the scenes. or out in the open i suppose but mostly unseen or dismissed.

yes, i have the motherfucking receipts. i've tried to condense them to what i found most relevant to the topics at hand without clipping the interactions so much that they would give a biased misrepresentation, but all conversations as of this moment and to the best of my knowledge are still available to view in full context. mine certainly won't be deleted.

i may have some bad takes sometimes cause i'm as perfect as anyone, which is to say NOT AT ALL. but i'll readily admit that and the fact that i work on it, CONSTANTLY. and before anyone decides to dig through my shit to see if they can find dirt on me IRRELEVANT to this situation to DISTRACT from what's being called out?

all i ask is a fair chance and moment of your time to show you what i've been through, because it's something she never gave me from day one. and bear in mind please, that i am pissed off because it's gone on long enough and now she's trying to drag my friends into it while CONTINUING TO LIE BEHIND MY BACK and feign fucking ignorance.

no more.

deliciouskeys? you. yes you, i am addressing you directly this time. i gave you a peace offering with the mike sully meme, and you just kept going.

since i poked my head into the boys fandom, you have been hostile to me, LIED about me, put words in my mouth, accused me of hostility towards you, assumed my intent while not only withholding the benefit of a doubt, but consistently. consistently putting me down and insulting me as some sort of estranged fandom villain who only exists or popped up to oppose you or ruin everything.

i'm not a fucking cartoon character, i am a person. i do not exist to supplant you or whatever weird shit you keep imagining me to be that makes you act like this.

almost every single thing i say to you, instead of actually LISTENING or i dunno, READING IT AT FACE VALUE, you take. hyperanalyze. and immediately give it the WORST interpretation you can. and that's if i'm lucky.

i'm not here for fandom wars and shipping bullshit. i'm not here for your false dichotomy fantasy. i'm here to be a bullshit shipper and have fun and try to get others to be more open and have fun too. maybe throw in a psa here and there for the things i find important.

i'm not here to get fucking bullied either or to watch others get bullied. you can take your assumed hostility and narcissistic PROJECTION and shove it straight up your ass if you think i'm going to tolerate it.

and what is 'hostile attribution bias'? it's this shit.

oh, and you don't have to assume it anymore. i'm fucking hostile. why am i hostile? oh... at this point, i KNOW you KNOW. but not everyone else does, so let's just lay it all out and let others draw their own conclusions. hm?

this was what set you off, right? the automatic assumption that this was someone i knew, looking out for me? i suppose that's possible but that doesn't mean i know exactly who it was or that i put them up to it.

and y'know, i might have even said that anon was a bit harsh and still given you the benefit of a doubt. anon was ANGRY and that's clear, but plausible deniability is so wonderful, isn't it?

but you've gone beyond that point. it wouldn't be the first time someone's noticed your behavior, and i can guarantee that. our first conversation was on my post about the comics and what they meant to me, sparked from an interaction i had with another fan of the show who refused to read the comics but still insulted them directly to me.

the bottom piece is from the post, the top would be the snippet of conversation with the other person prior. all of these are highlighted with slightly adjusted coloring for ease of understanding who's who. and granted, you could argue that i jumped the gun in my first response to you, but then you accused me of being hostile towards people who allegedly read and disliked them. and i had done no such thing, i literally was not addressing those people at all.

that was the first time you put words in my mouth, lied about what i said, and 'villainized' me for 'attacking people' made of straw i might add, when the post itself SPECIFICALLY STATED:

MISCONCEPTION.

so not the people, but the IDEA. an actually legitimately incorrect idea given context. i could go into a rant about how the comics cover one of the single most important and detrimental concepts to humanity (the war machine) and how american media is so piss watered down, propagandized and censored for babies and pearl clutching old people (and before you clutch your pearls over me 'attacking' babies and the elderly, i am not. i am criticizing AMERICAN MEDIA and PURITAN MENTALITY) that the comic itself was relatively tame outside of the american world view bubble, but that's not the point here, is it.

the 'many many' actually refers to people off of tumblr too, though i'm sure there's a fair share here of that mindset as it's found everywhere with everything. even then, i don't condemn the people. minds can be changed for ideas, that was what i was trying to do. maybe i need better methods and i can admit that.

still you chose to lie to my face or what, attempt to gaslight me?? whatever it was, it was enough for someone ELSE to step in and literally ask if you were BULLYING me.

and me, being the naive fucking moron that i am and thinking we ended on a nice punny note and the conversation wasn't so bad STILL gave YOU the benefit of a doubt.

did you extend the same courtesy to me later on? well, let's see.

no. no you did not. snippets of a convo from an anon ask you got on a proposed canon butchlander from when i tried to join in, you immediately accused me of things i have never said or done or even implied. and when i called you out on it, you immediately apologized (good on you, not included here but i DO acknowledge it and DID appreciate it) and i thought, "oh cool! we must be explaining ourselves to try and better understand each other so this doesn't happen again."

only for you to then backtrack and jump back on that ASSUMED HOSTILITY shit you seem to just LOVE huffing. but just for me i gather. maybe a couple others that i haven't seen or don't know about.

considering this is just the stuff i DO know about.

moving on.

you have questions? oh, what a cowinkydink, i have answers. if only you had just ASKED ME DIRECTLY INSTEAD OF PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND LYING.

but to give some clarification to the numbered ones.

love the framing here. OF COURSE, WE are ONLY here to be a NUISANCE. must be nice being a real human who can interact with others instead of solely "bother" them. if you'd actually read the post, you might have seen it was about the BULLYING itself, not the bullshit that apparently makes you rabid enough to be a bully. great use of being obtuse.

stop putting words in my mouth. stop fucking lying about me. stop assuming my intentions. stop painting me for your weird ass personal agenda or vendetta. stop making up bullshit about me when you haven't taken two seconds to get to know me. i did no such thing as 'slur the cishets'. proof is in the fucking pudding.

ahhh... i understand why you don't block people. and i think i'm understanding the insidious behavior and bullying too. you're disgusting to people who you don't want to see the content of so that they'll block you while you get to pretend you're still on your little high horse of being the "less petty" or "bigger" person. and that way you don't have to see their content anymore, right? having your cake, and eating it too. it's smart. it looks good on you as long as people don't see the behavior, like you might actually want to solve problems.

although, if i'm to understand all this correctly, you don't want to given the continued hostility towards me regardless of what i do or say. am i getting this, more of that delectable plausible deniability? or am i giving you too much credit? do you even want the benefit of a doubt at this point? because you stated before you'd rather be considered evil than stupid.

oh, my mistake, "disgusting" than "ignorant". let me not do what you do and put words in your mouth. clarify for me, if you want to.

personally, i think ignorance is more forgivable than malice because at least the uninformed can learn better, while those with ill intent will seek to harm again, but to each their own i guess.

and if you actually have brain damage over a nonsensical but ultimately harmless shit joke online, i'd suggest seeking actual help from a doctor because that isn't normal. but i'm going to be generous and say maybe it was a bit much or gave you a recurring nightmare or something, i don't know you, in which case yeah, get help if you need it. i take mental health very seriously so i'm not joking or being sarcastic here. happy healing and sorry for the trouble if that's the case on this specific thing.

but oh! you just don't want to see it, right? TOO BAD BITCH, I GOT MORE TO GIVE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!

and i don't have a problem with you writing your personal views about a pairing, any pairing. if that were all you had done, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation or, if you don't care i suppose i wouldn't be screaming into the void.

but you explicitly stated your point of view was "pretty common", that defaults my view as "uncommon" or in other words, "others" me and those who like bottom billy. don't you dare deny that when you know for a fact it's true.

then citing reasons for why you believed your view was more "accurate". you then went on to claim you were "baffled" when if that were true and you were actually interested in TRYING to UNDERSTAND? YOU WOULD HAVE JUST FUCKING ASKED ME DIRECTLY.

not that i would owe you an explanation or apology, or anything. but i'd have been NICE enough to try and answer anyway to the best of my ability. here, i'll do it now.

i'm not a big fan of bottom homie for the same reasons i'm not at all a fan of (show) homewell. apart from the whole superdick/compressing anus thing, narcissistic abuse/grooming and exploiting someone's trauma for a toxic kink is not only a huge turn off for me, it's super fucking triggering based on my experiences and what i have been through. i've had enough people looking down on me and telling me they "know what's best for me" while trying to rob me of my humanity and use me for their gain.

the funny thing is that i relate to homie in that sense but consider myself a total bottom who also LOVES the 'dom mommy' in certain context, but i also share a lot of similarities with butcher as well and know they both have a lot of very intense differences from me. and homie has a fucking vibrator for a dick. you CANNOT make me want to miss a chance for that, it's just not going to happen. and if i ever want to explore any form of 'grooming' kink from a personal place? i'll stick to thanos and mistress death, thanks.

i also don't find toxic masculinity sexy, that's a red fucking flag for me more glaring than the entirety of homelander, i find POSITIVE masculinity far sexier and true 'top' like. MM has the most of that in my opinion and is the sexiest man on the show, besides the guy who plays black noir under the mask.

i also fully understand the kink on the other end, y'all wanna baby him cause he's never had a mommy and longs for some kind of nurturing parental love, and y'all also wanna fuck him cause he's hot. so ya smash the two together and embrace the infantilization kink (which is seriously not my thing)

and listen, more power to ya. if that's what you like, enjoy it. i'm not judging. i just don't have the same fucking taste and i'm entitled to that. i don't understand why you have to comment on it or be "baffled" by the idea that people can be different from you.

for the record, i don't want to smash the two ideas together, i want to help homie SEPARATE and DEMUDDLE the legitimate problems and confusion in his brain that makes him so vulnurable to women's manipulations, and help him grow the fuck up without wanting to fuck his own mother (if he hasn't already) or keep him baby minded forever. i want to untap his potential and see the man he can/would become depending on circumstance.

because i like redemption and character growth and am a sucker for second chances regardless of liking dark media, and there's a huge difference between "i like you" and " i like that you like me".

that requires a more careful handling than anything suface level, but regardless i don't enjoy exploiting trauma kinks or reinforcing toxic masculinity any more than i would enjoy yiff or snuff. i wouldn't judge someone for having the taste as long as no one real got hurt. but that doesn't mean i have to have their taste.

stop kink shaming me or being "confused" by my preference, i haven't done the same to you. and before you pretend you haven't or that i have.

if you were "seriously trying to understand" you would again, ASK ME DIRECTLY instead of this roundabout bullshit where you talk about it and 'how confused or tired' you are, but can't be bothered to take two fucking seconds to JUST ASK for a more serious answer beyond willem dafoe.

if i wanted to shame you for having a kink, i wouldn't be subtle about it. but i wouldn't anyway because i wouldn't even shame those who have a rape fantasy because i have one and have written and read plenty of it. i file it under 'horror pr0n' with a number of other things, and not every form or 'flavor' of horror pr0n that exists is going to be for everyone, much the same as fucking regular horror. but if it's FICTION, it shouldn't matter.

i understand that and if i judged others for having different tastes or acted... well like YOU, that would make me a hypocrite.

and your friend got it PERFECTLY on the first note. and then decided to enable the bullshit yet again by subscribing to the bane of human unity, tribalism. thanks for reinforcing the idea that this HAS to be a dichotomy WHEN IT'S NOT.

a little healthy teasing and competition? i'm game. it's too bad that's not what this was.

i am not your fucking enemy just because YOU decided i was, YOU do not get to decide that for me. but i'll give them the benefit of a doubt and say they were 'just joking', right?

that's ALL it ever is. "just jokes". but JUST when you or "your side" do it. it's not like you've ever been derogatory and petty about "your side" being the "good side" of fandom.

if you have to constantly reinforce and self assure how "good" you are compared to "others" specifically not part of your niche bubble?

you're an asshole who's not actually "good", full stop. if you have to measure your self worth based on what others do or comparing yourself to them, actually seek help because that's not healthy. just my two cents

but if you want to get technical, NO ONE IS RIGHT AND NEITHER BILLY NOR HOMELANDER IS TOP OR BOTTOM IN A TRADITIONAL SENSE, not just because opinions and preferences can't be right or wrong. because butchlander isn't fucking canon, isn't going to become canon, and as far as we know, both characters are confirmed 100% STRAIGHT within the show with toxic masculinity issues a mile long and would never wanna touch each other like that with a 10 foot pole, and homelander's shown exactly ZERO interest in actually being pegged thus far, so that idea's a headcanon.

even herogasm showed us that 3 on fucking 1 STILL wasn't enough to take him down and homie freaking out over a bruise from an unfair challenge of 3 on 1 because it had logically been a very long time since he'd been hurt makes reasonable sense on a basic surface level. he's then over it by the time maeve makes him bleed and carries on bleeding, and now butcher's dying and is the most vulnurable and literally weak because he's sick of the bunch, so... headcanons? headcanons are fine but let's not forget reality and then laugh at the people who remember it.

and if you had just asked me why i even brought up lovely amazing beautiful cishet women (not at all sarcastic, see above purple posts), instead of YET AGAIN. ASSUMING MY INTENT AND PUTTING A LOAD OF CRAP IN MY MOUTH. you can have that back by the way, what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

or for clarification on why i brought it up? i could have TOLD YOU MYSELF. because unlike SOME PEOPLE, when someone just ASKS a question or gives a neutral or even heated response? I DON'T ASSUME HOSTILITY OR TAKE IT PERSONALLY FROM THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING SPORT.

fact (and correct me if i'm wrong): majority of people participating in shipping fandom are cishet women.

this is a simple fact, it doesn't mean anything beyond that, i specifically said both times there's nothing wrong with this.

a majority of people are cishet, so this is to be expected. it still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people.

fact: society has issues, ideas, and expectations that affect and harm us all. cishet, or queer. and these issues will and do present themselves in fandom and fan fictions whether we realize that or not. heteronormativity would be one of those. misogyny is another.

and one of my kinks is challenging that, or at least the way i see to challenge that while dunking on redpill idealogy and toxic masculinity because i fucking can.

and i just LOVE how you tout about having the "pReTtY cOmMoN" perception which newsflash, YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO HETERONORMATIVE IDEAOLOGY IF YOU THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A REASON A MAN WOULD NEVER BOTTOM. you'd be surprised what people could get up to behind closed doors. but then you turn around and not only put more words in my mouth, enable anon to put words in my mouth, discourage getting a direct answer from me, accuse me and my friends of being the type to randomly accuse someone else of doxxing??? wtf even is that.

and of course. given your 'pretty common' perception being the total opposite of heteronormativity, it MUST mean that society has resolved all of its issues and come to accept queer people exactly as they are in all forms with no expectations or interference whatsoever, oh yeah. places like florida or uganda just totally don't exist. the u.s. isn't on the verge of becoming an actual fascist hellhole for us, and it is TOTALLY just... no one oppresses us. no one.

ESPECIALLY not the cishets.

and despite all the evidence to the contrary, you especially have done nothing wrong here and its all in my head. is that right? can you clarify for me? do you think that my situations have put zero pressure on me in my day to day life? on my friends' lives? do you think you didn't add to that? do you think you and company are the only ones that feel or react like humans?

imagine being so far up your own ass you tell the queer HOW to queer. or at least be a GOOD queer, right?

oh, i'm sorry let me not put words in your mouth. you were of course only laughing at me behind my back for the 'anti-cishet' things i never said.

and no. OBVIOUSLY i wasn't saying any of the shit you accused. i was saying i prefer SUBVERSIVE themes when i do my tops and bottoms and a more detailed look at that can be found in my purple all over responses or just the posts themselves, but if you still want to ask me anyway, i'll answer to the best of my ability.

and what a coincidence that despite you understanding top/bottom not just being related to penetration and some people will feel certain dynamics may be reductive, how ironic that you couldn't possibly fathom that as one of my main complaints.

you don't WANT to actually understand. you just wanted a circle jerk of confirmation bias.

this anon hit the nail on the fucking head. and you wanted to fight them?? i could have overlooked this but i wanted to touch on something really important because i don't know what anon may have seen but i once saw you answer an ask about homelander's redeemability and you cited "tough love" as a means to get there.

and as a former addict and narcissistic abuse survivor (specifying for context), i can tell you first hand "tough love" is not a real thing, and it's not discipline either because that requires teaching and providing tools for rehabilitation. but don't just take my word for it.

from a psychological perspective and to hear actual professionals go over the concept? "tough love" not only DOESN'T work. it is an excuse to be nasty and abusive to someone under the guise that you are only doing it to help them, when all it really does is make you an abusive fuck.

this would be why the SHOW had HOMELANDER of all people saying it, why what billy did to ryan is presented the way it was with HUGHIE of all people, the guy who was at the time dealing with a huge wad of toxic masculinity issues up his ass, 'got it'. and even BUTCHER'S DAD is presented as the piece of shit that he is who gladly passed on his curse to butcher like it was a 'gift'.

even the comics got this when they present butcher doing his scumlord over 9000 move to hughie and annie saying "cruel to be kind" about his own bullshit. no. no no no. he did NOT do that for hughie's well being. he did it for himself because he was a selfish prick.

and i want to be clear. i am being an asshole here and i fully recognize that. that's for ME to feel better because i am fed up with your bullshit. because you have spent your time poking and prodding me for a hostile reaction. well congrats motherfucker. you got it.

and there ain't NO fucking love there.

i won't be your enemy. but i am NOT your friend either. clearly YOU wouldn't want that anyway.

but because i always have to add in that disclaimer for basic human decency? EVEN WITH HOW I FEEL and what the actual science says about "tough love", i would still never tell someone they can't use it in fiction, presented as a toxic kink or whatever the fuck else. even if it triggers me. even if i have a thousand different reasons to criticize it and voice that in a separate space.

people can do whatever the fuck they want and i can't control that. neither can you.

but i don't have to engage with the content or speak positively on it or keep my mouth shut, and i'm not gonna harrass people or pull the kind of insidious bullshit you do either.

at the end of the day, this is fiction. and if you feel the need to run an entire fucking smear campaign about me over fiction and preferences??

stop lying about me

stop putting words in my mouth

stop talking about me behind my back

stop predetermining who i am for me

stop assuming hostility when i will flat out tell you my intent and you can just ask, that doesn't just go for me.

stop fucking gatekeeping and gaslighting.

I DON'T HAVE A DISHONESTY PROBLEM LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

and fuck you.

neither me nor any of my friends or these anons are crazy and i will not sit around while you try to fucking gaslight me or anyone else. try it again, i fucking dare you.

bottom billy lovers existing is not an attack on you. it never was. you don't own the tags. FUCKING DEAL.

this behavior? is UNNACCEPTABLE.

as for fandom? a few more things i want to cover. i couldn't have said it better than a friend of mine who while a little hectic and crazy sometimes, has been nothing but a sweetheart<3 that i just want to encourage and motivate to art or post pictures of her billy butcher kitty babygirl incarnate but unfortunately due to circumstances may be regressing back into her shell.

a message i will never stop promoting, whatever iteration it comes in, whenever it comes up.

i may disagree with what you are saying or doing, but as long as you are not harming anyone, i will fight wholeheartedly for your right to say or do so.

that is the philosphy of true freedom, THAT is what i subscribe to. and it pisses me the fuck off when i see people trying to punish or hurt people for things that hurt no one. we don't get to decide how other people want to live their lives. we can only navigate and hope we might find a friend along the way.

and THAT is the single greatest picture of captain america ever fucking created. no i will take dissenting opinions.

in regards to assumed hostility or hostile attribution bias, a more lighthearted and easily digestable demonstration is below.

youtube

gais... just don't do it. don't automatically assume that someone means you harm or pain simply because they disagree with you. this is what leads to more problems. this is what leads to human tribalism. this is what divides us. this is what destroys us. this is what leads to wars. fandom shipping bullshit or otherwise.

the fucking stupidest invention of humanity, fought over goddamn unholy wads of paper and scribbles of ink because people couldn't accept that their ideas weren't accepted by everyone else, and anyone who didn't fall in line got the axe. or alienated. or excommunicated. or accused of being a witch. or whatever.

but this is the kinda shit we need to nip in the bud at the most basic level we can, every time we can.

it's called intolerance of the intolerant. and it's how we stop hatred from fostering and the intolerance being tolerated and eventually taking over.

because assumed hostility? it IS intolerance.

people are not made from ideas, it's the people who make or break the ideas, not the other way around. and ideas can change.

that should never be seen as a bad thing because it's necessary for positive changes and better understanding as time goes on.

challenge yourselves and the way you think, listen to newcomers and welcome them, have healthy discussions, learn to agree to disagree. it's not that hard.

and i know, i get it. it's not easy, not that simple either. everyone's on edge, people are sickly addicted to hatred and anger because they are EASY. giving in to them doesn't require self control or any form of discipline, it is as simple as instinct. it IS instinct. but if humanity has ANY hope of moving forward?

we HAVE to learn to give people the benefit of a doubt. we HAVE to learn to listen to each other, *actually* listen and hear *exactly* what others are saying. HAVE to learn to identify the difference between a differing *non-hostile* opinion and actual *intolerance*

because the world has already seen what happens when we FAIL and eventually we WILL run out of chances to get it right.

please at least TRY to give the benefit of the doubt in an appropriate situation.

i'll lead by example.

keys? even you. even now, i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt DESPITE how you've treated me AND my friends now. because MAYBE you were actually key in the sketch and just having a bad day each time we interacted or MAYBE you have some sort of trauma getting triggered whenever you see my shit or we interact or whatever the fuck it could be, MAYBE you are feeling the pressures of a self discovery coming out journey and it's manifesting badly (yes i did notice that and if this is the case i would still wish you nothing but good will and luck with that, not sarcastic), or some combination, there's a million reasons and i don't know you, so i'm not going to assume or say anything for certain.

unlike some people.

but i don't think you're stupid. on the contrary, looking at your posts, my first 'assumption' was that you are actually very well educated and were just enjoying having fun and being silly. later and based on some things i saw, it occured to me that your education/upbringing may put you at odds or at a disadvantage with connecting with people online or having them understand you, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, it just means you're speaking different languages.

even the "tough love" thing could be a miscommunication/malapropism. it could also be internal denial because you had a loved one do that to you and still haven't come to terms with the actual abuse you were experiencing because "they knew best"

i've been there. but maybe i'm the one who's projecting just to give you the benefit of a doubt. is it fair for me to take out my own frustrations on random people? fuck to the NO. which is why i TRY regularly to keep that shit in line and my life private.

so i absolutely will not excuse you for being so blatantly dishonest about me either behind my back or to my face because even if you do think i'm being hostile (when i'm not), there's no excuse for that. no, i wouldn't excuse myself either.

that needs to stop in a general sense, and i know you KNOW you are doing that because you'd have to *actually* be the biggest fucking illiterate moron on the planet to not know at this point.

especially when i reached out to you before to try and resolve this calmly and you ignored me and then continued lying about me, yucking it up with anons and buddies like high school mean girls. officially. unironically. instead of doing an ounce of self reflecting.

and i didn't include those messages, but the continued disingenuity and callous misrepresentation is there. and especially the carving into my character to define me however you want without giving me a voice to speak for myself.

stop it. you know it. i know it. maybe you think i'm some country bumpkin cousin hick fucker who happens to conveniently be queer but is remarkably stupid or an easy target.

and maybe i am stupid for ever giving you the benefit of a doubt, but you don't get to rob me of my humanity or basic courtesy.

because YOU'RE human too. and you have a right to your thoughts and feelings and opinions, and i get that, and i support it

even if by some fucking bizarre coocoo for cocoa puffs alternate reality, butchlander were to become canon the way I saw it? i wouldn't gloat or celebrate or try to rub it in your face.

I would encourage you to keep liking what you like and keep being yourself, maybe even harder than before.

even knowing you wouldn't do the same for me. at least from personal experience. see any of the above. and if you think i'm a self righteous prick for it, so fucking be it.

but if you're going to be an asshole? at least own the fuck up to it.

oh, and by the way? i now headcanon that billy butcher once a month puts on a full body gimp suit and with ball gag to do some strange kinda unholy shit with fruit OR veggies (never both), and it HAS to be a waning crecent moon, because i fucking can. and you can't stop me. ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gais... don't immediately assume hostility. please. i know tone can be hard to interpret through writing or typic and emojis help, and yeah, i know i can jump the gun too. but i try to take things told to me at face/basic value or read them in a neutral tone and i think it helps too.

but we should never be judging anyone before we know them.

#the boys #homelander #billy butcher #butchlander #bullying #abuse #trauma #hostile attribution bias #disinformation #dishonesty #disingenuous #fans behaving badly #psa #critical thinking #misrepresentation #human decency #shipping discourse #long post #kink shaming

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rand0m-s1nner · 1 year

Note

if your fic requests are open, maybe smth with Levi and MC? Like maybe he sees someone tickling MC and he gets jealous bc he likes to spend time w them but at the same time he’s like nervous to ask bc yknow “I’m a yucky otaku why would they want me to tickle them???”

and when he and MC are hanging out later he brings it up if he’s brave enough and MC is like “of course you can!” And tickles ensue

Just an idea, hope you have a great day!!

-galacticlee3

Ok first of all I am SO SORRY I didn't do this sooner, I went on a super long hiatus writing-wise, but it's finally here! Hope you like it <3

Leviathan x Reader Tickle fic!

“Hey! There’s my favorite human! C’mere!”

“EEP! Mahahammon! Stop thahat!”

Leviathan watched from the couch as you giggled and squirmed in Mammon’s arms while he tickled you with the biggest grin on his face, which made Levi want to punch him. This wasn’t the first time he witnessed something like this happen between you and one of his brothers, you were ridiculously ticklish after all, and none of them would pass up the opportunity to tease you. None, except, well, himself. The reclusive Avatar of Greed was way too shy to even attempt tickling you. What if you think he’s gross? What if you don’t want to get tickled by him at all? It seemed so natural when his brothers tickled you, but he couldn’t imagine any scenario of him doing it that wouldn’t turn awkward.

“Hehe, sorry human, gotta keep ya on your toes!” Mammon teased and walked away, and Levi flinched when he felt you plop onto the couch next to him. You were still giggling and breathing heavily after Mammon’s sudden tickle attack, and Leviathan found himself staring at you a bit too intently.

“Um…Levi? Everything okay?” You asked, catching his gaze. He blinked and went red in the face, looking away from you and focusing on his DDD screen.

“Y-yep! All good!”

The demon sweated nervously when he felt your concerned stare on himself. It’s as if you were reading him like a book!

“You look upset. You can tell me if something is bothering you, that’s what best friends are for!”

Best friends. He blushed. You, treating a yucky otaku like him as your best friend? And the way you said it seemed so genuine, he couldn’t help it.

“W-Well…I just…Feel like you hang out with my brothers way more than me! Y-yeah, that’s it! You barely spend time with me at all!”

It was partially true, because of RAD work you’ve barely had the time to play videogames with your favorite otaku.

“Aww, I’m sorry Levi! We can play something in your room tonight if you want?”

Of course, he accepted and watched you happily skip away to get back to your studies. However, the tickling thing was still in his mind. How could he possibly ask you about something like that?

By the time you both were gaming on the floor of his room, Levi kept glancing over at you instead of focusing on the game. He craved being closer to you, he wanted to make you laugh just like his brothers always did. His head was filled with anxious thoughts of his brothers stealing you away from him forever, all because he was too wimpy to get closer to you.

“Hey, MC, c-can I…ask you something?” He muttered, finally getting enough courage after not having said a word in a while. You just assumed he was focused on the game, but deep down you knew there was something he left unsaid.

“Hmm? Of course, anything.” You replied sweetly and his heart skipped a beat. He paused the game and turned to face you, nervousness pooling at the bottom of his stomach.

“W-well…It’s just that…Ugh, I can’t take it anymore! I hate watching from the sidelines how my brothers touch you and tickle you all the time! And you seem to enjoy it, too! I want to make you laugh like that as well…”

You blinked a few times after hearing his little outburst.

“Wait, so…You want to tickle me?”

Leviathan gulped nervously and nodded, shutting his eyes and balling his fists.

“Y-yeah- but it’s fine if you dontwantobecauseIknowImsuchagrossandyuckyotakuand-”

“Hey hey, of course you can tickle me! And don’t say that, you’re not gross at all.”

You placed a hand on his which snapped him out of his rant and he looked at you with a blush, his voice stuck in his throat. You were always so kind to him, he felt silly for thinking you’d be mad.

“Can I? Really?”

“Yeah, why not? I don’t mind. You don’t even have to ask, you know?”

“I just didn’t think you’d want ME to tickle you…”

You squeezed his hand and smiled fondly at him, shaking your head.

“Levi, I like you a lot. I wouldn’t have minded either way. Now, what should I do? Lift my arms up or-?”

“Oh! Um, yeah, you could do that…”

You shuffled into a more comfortable sitting position and lifted your arms, interlocking your hands behind your head. Your shirt was lifted slightly, exposing some of your stomach, and you started feeling nervous when you noticed Levi looking at it.

“Right…I guess I’ll just…” The demon mumbled in concentration and tentatively slipped a hand under your shirt to reach your stomach, while the other hand went around your side. You gasped softly when his fingers scribbled against your bare stomach and struggled not to squirm away from Levi, while he continued exploring your tickle spots. He noted the wobbly smile on your face and continued the scribbles to your belly, but used his other hand to poke you in the ribs.

“Eek! Hehey!” You giggled and his eyes lit up. He scooched even closer to you and now both of his hands were on your ribs, poking and scribbling at them, which made you start laughing for real.

“Ahaha! W-wait! Lehehevi! KYaAh!”

Oh no. He hit your underarms this time and you couldn’t keep your arms up anymore, clamping them down to protect yourself from the ticklish feeling. What made it even more flustering is how concentrated Levi seemed on your laughter, trying to wiggle his fingers in the way that made you squeal the most. He was practically on top of you now because you were squirming so much, the realization of which made you blush. Leviathan didn’t seem to notice the compromising position you two were in and straddled you to restrain your movements even further.

“You’re so sensitive here, I wonder what other spots make you squeal…” He mumbled to himself but it still reached your ears, making you get butterflies in your stomach. Who knew Levi could be so bold? But you didn’t have time to linger on that thought because he suddenly started tickling your neck, making you squeal and scrunch your shoulders. His second hand went back to clawing at your belly and by the time Leviathan exploited that spot to the fullest you were a blushing giggling mess.

Your laughter had gone silent and Leviathan took that as his queue to stop.

“Ah, I’m sorry, did I overdo it? Are you alright?” He asked nervously and you nodded, laying underneath him and catching your breath. Only then did he realize that he was on top of you. With a gasp, he practically flew off of you and backed away, blushing profusely.

“OHMYGODIMSOSORRYIDIDNTREALIZEIWASONTOPOFYOUAAA-”

You had to reassure him that it didn’t bother you for at least fifteen minutes after that, and you honestly couldn’t tell who was more flustered by this whole ordeal between the two of you.

#answered ask #request #ler!levi #obey me shall we date #obey me levi #obey me mc #obey me x reader #obey me levi x mc #obey me tickle #obey me tickling #tickle community #tickles #tickling #tickle fic

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sethshead · 6 months

Text

From the Kivunim Institute: Good and Evil: A True Story You likely don’t know the name Dr. Shoshan Haran. I met Shoshan, a world-renowned plant seed developer, while doing research for what became Let There Be Water: Israel's Solution for a Water-Starved World. Shoshan helped me to understand how Israeli non-GMO plant breeders had developed drought-resistant crops and plants that thrive on otherwise unusable brackish water. But at the top of her career, Shoshan had an epiphany: Instead of using her extraordinary abilities to help farmers in rich countries get ever-better seeds, she would devote the rest of her life to helping poor farmers in Africa. “No one,” she told me, “was developing specific seeds for places like Ethiopia.” Farmers there had to make do with generic seeds for their crops. An urbanite like me didn't know this, but seeds can be developed for particular places, with changes made for local climate, water sources, soil type and pests. Shoshan started a not-for-profit called Fair Planet with the intention of developing seeds for those poor African farmers as precise as the ones she had been helping to create for American and European farmers. The project succeeded beyond anyone’s expectations. In the first season using Shoshan’s tomato seeds created for central Ethiopia, farmers there saw a 500 percent increase in yield. Not only did this help to address issues of hunger and nutrition for those farmers and their families, but household income rose helping to lift communities out of abject poverty. In the ten or so years since, approximately one million farmers in several African countries have been using seeds developed by Fair Planet. In other words, Shoshan Haran is a hero, a person who has made the world so much better for her having lived. Now for the hard part. On October 7, Shoshan and her family were together in her home on Kibbutz Be’eri, a successful communal farm established by her father and the place where she was born. In all, there were ten family members gathered – Shoshan, her husband, her sister and brother-in-law, her daughter and son-in-law and their two children, her husband’s sister and the sister’s husband. They were all taken captive by the Hamas terrorists who invaded the kibbutz. In recent days, the remains of Shoshan’s husband and brother-in-law have been identified. As best as is known, Shoshan and the other seven family members – three generations – are hostages in Gaza, but no one knows for sure. It is easy to recognize this as evil harming far more than Shoshan and her family. Those many African farmers, and many others, are also harmed by the Hamas assault. It would also be reasonable to say that there are two competing ideologies at work here: One by incrementally helping others in peaceful ways and the second using horrifying and indiscriminate violence to achieve its goals. For me, I have been depressed, enraged, struggling to make sense of the terror attack, but now that I have learned one of the captives is someone I know and have hosted in my home, it is also personal. I hope the governments of Africa will join in with others to try to get Shoshan and her family freed from captivity, assuming they are still alive. Perhaps you, too, can try to publicize this story, sharing it with others. Every one of those being held deserves to be released, but showing how terrible it is to have a person like Shoshan in captivity perhaps helps to transform a general act of criminality and evil into something concrete and harder to ignore. Over time, many more stories of October 7 victims will be learned. Just knowing Shoshan’s story offers clarity that so much more than the lives of the victims and the captives are affected. Seth Siegel

h/t Shoshana Hantman

None of this matters to the left. They'll accuse Shoshan of promoting genocide by replacing traditional crops with higher-yield GMOs. There is nothing we can do anymore to convince the left that we are anything other than ogres poisoning the global well and using the blood of children for our bread.

We must keep our own ethics to heal the world, but not expect to win any hearts or minds. We must do what we must to protect ourselves, and let the public opinion of those who would destroy us be damned.

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stellevatum · 19 days

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Please at least give it a read! Liking this post also means it’s more likely I will follow back, as I know you have RAU’d.

Updated 05/01/2024

ABOUT:

Kar/Karmun/Karthonic either-or. If you'd rather separate mun/muse you can use my middle name, Asher to refer to me.

They/Them is cool.

From New York, so the timezone is EST.

Birthday’s January 1990, so 30+

Spoonie with AuDHD

Artist, and educator, so I can get busy. I commute, so I'm on the train for a few hours a day,

You can reach me on here or on discord. Just ask.

Personal blog @karthonic.

On mobile most of the time.

I left the Tumblr RPC 4 years ago so forgive me as I catch up with the new etiquette, etc.

GENERAL:

Above all else: Be Excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

This sounds redundant to post this but: If you have no intention of RPing with me don’t follow. Lurking for a bit before reaching out is fine, but I would like genuinely interested folks. Optional, but I've made an interest checker to help organize things.

This incarnation Kar is for SCIENCE FICTION/SPACE OPERA like verse. Her Contemporary/Urban Fantasy/Paranormal/Supernatural self can be found at @obscurushydrae

While she's Star Wars Based, don’t sweat it if you don’t know the other stuff. If your fandom/verse has a way in, I can finagle her into all sorts of place (she's literally an cosmic horror at heart).

That ‘selective’ part comes into play. I have every right to not follow someone, decline a roleplay, just as you do. Just be polite and respectful.

OC/Crossover/AU/Multiverse/Self Insert friendly. Not your thing, then feel free to not follow.

There will be casual mentions of recreational drug use, more often than not mentions of alcohol than drugs, but will be tagged upon request. Other possible triggers are her fatalistic humor.

This is not a content resource blog. If you’re here for the pretty pictures, aesthetics, or memes, this is not the blog for you.

Communication is key. My muse might be intimidating, but I'm not-- just very busy and on mobile more often than not. Don’t know something, or want me to elaborate: ask! I forgot a reply or not feeling a thing anymore, lemme know. I'm good.

Godmoding is discouraged but I’m not going to stop it. I will likely try to out ridiculous you Bugs Bunny style. Even though she can’t die, you’re free to try and kill her, but let me know first (either way she’s gonna be pissed FYI).

Most art is mine but will be credited. If I reblog any art reposted without the original creator’s permission, let me know. I’ll remove it.

IN CHARACTER:

Compatible Fandoms (ie I am Familiar with): Star Wars, Mass Effect, Borderlands, Alien/Predator, Dune, The Outer Worlds, Subnautica, No Man's Sky, Galaktikon, RaM, H2G2, and more!

Kar for the most part, is literally the Force. In a body. Raised by mortals, so she thought she was. And spent most of her life just vaguely gesturing and just going with "humanoid." Force sensitive characters might be able to sense her, but she can mask it.

As for appearance, unless you’re really looking you might notice the fangs. And for the most part, assume she’s wearing her signature sunglasses covering her eyes since those rarely are taken off in public.

While not usually brought up, but Kar has attempted to end her life and self-harmed. Nowadays it’s usually just masked with fatalistic humor, recreational drug use, and lots of drinking.

SHIPPING:

Shipping is welcomed and willing to discuss the possibility, but I leave the rest to chemistry and just how we as writers write. Kar is into male muses, and will be polite about turning other people down, unless one doesn’t take the hint.

That being said, don’t ask to ship with me and just…drop off. I believe in mutual enthusiasm. If you're no longer interested, just communicate.

This blog is multiship, meaning each relationship is treated as its own separate place in the multiverse unless discussed and agreed upon.

Kar can be polifidelitous. She’s okay with having multiple partners and those partners having partners if your character is cool with it. But she can be selectively monogamous in your little bubble.

NSFW may be on here, or I might do it over discord. I'm playing it by vibes. As I don't really have any established romantic stuff since rebooting, I can't say with any certainty.

FOLLOWING/UNFOLLOWING:

Please don’t follow/interact if you’re under 21. If I follow anyone underage, it’s because I wasn’t able to access any about/ooc information, please don’t take it personally if I unfollow!

If I don’t follow you and you follow me, please just hit me up before doing something. Just because I don’t follow means I’m not interested, I just don’t think our characters mesh with the information given. If we chat about it, who knows!

If I follow you or like a post but not follow, it's likely because I want to check out your rules but can't find a mobile friendly/need time to look through things, especially if it's a carrd. If you follow back, I'll message/send passwords as I don't want to overstep.

I don’t usually greet/interact with personal blogs, so side blogs off personals give me a heads up. Otherwise, I might miss you.

I may unfollow or softblock-- but that doesn't mean I am not against second chances. It usually mean either we haven't really done anything and I'm keeping my dash tidy or you never followed back so I'm taking the hint and stepping off, or you were inactive for 6+ month and I assume you abandoned the blog.

If you'd prefer I don't accidentally re-follow, you are free to hardblock. It'sa bummer, but we need to what makes each of us comfortable to write. I will only hardblock if it is in your rules or if it was something serious that warrants it.

ASKS:

Askbox will only be open for IC interactions, save for when the meme specifies Mun. IMs are for OOC communication. Anon feature is for sideblogs, multimuses to interact ICly with me. Any Anon messages good or bad directed to the Mun (outside of memes) will be ignored. The Anon feature is privilege, I will revoke it for my well-being if need be.

No Magic Anons, please!

There’s no need to wait to send me a meme if you’ve followed me for 5 minutes or 5 months, send the thing.

Reblog Karma is going to be enforced on this blog. That is, if you reblog an ask meme off me, please send me one. Otherwise, reblog the meme from @karref

THREADS:

Jump on any open post, there’s no need to ask permission, they’re there for that reason!

I will be keeping my posts simple! I don't have the time/energy to make formatted posts, and I like to keep things as accessible as possible. I do try to keep track of the heavily plotted stuff, but the casual things might drop off. Feel free to remind me if it's been a bit!

Communicate! If you’re having trouble writing a reply, talk to me! If you don’t like or not feeling a thread, say so and drop the thread. That also doesn’t mean things are done for good. Come to me if you want to skip/do something else.

If you’d rather we move things to discord, just ask! I’ll set up a server just for us!

TAGGING/ HARD LIMITS:

Blood, Gore, Body Horror, Drugs, etc, will be tagged with (name); for instance drugs; . Special Tags on request.

Posts will be tagged upon request, just let me know!

If you read and understand this, I would appreciate if you'd leave a like the post, that way I know you have without forcing a password.

But if you'd like to message me, here's a DM icebreaker: What's your favorite extinct animal? (If you're lucky I may have cool fact about it.)

HOPE TO WRITE WITH YOU SOON! :D

#nav;

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