#its still angering to think about this trial

[juanitasupreme]

To think that there was litteral text messages shown for the world to see between Johnny Depp and Paul Bethanny, talking about burning, drowning and r*ping Amber Heard. And general still sided with him sickens me...

#tw johnny depp #amber heard #its still angering to think about this trial #for some people it was just like entertainment #they dont care about it #and they sure dont care about male victims #they sided with a poor woman abuser and i hope that shame will find its way to them

[szasfuckingwife]

WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES, I FEEL ALIVE

EX CONVICT!TOJI X MOM!READER

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, Toji has gone to prison, Toji fushiguro is a family man and wants his family back !!

SYNOPSIS: Toji being incarcerated fucked you and your daughter up badly, and when he’s released, you want nothing more than to hold him again.

A/N: i was listening to Blue by Beyoncé while writing this and she made that song for her daughter and I just felt the need to sob for some reason🥲 but yeah prisonbf! Toji missing his gf and kid fucks me up.

When Toji went to prison, you knew it was the end of your relationship. You warned him so many times that this would happened, even before you gave birth to your daughter. And, knowing Toji, there was no convincing him.

The court trial was the worst memory that comes to mind when talking about Toji. When the judge declared he was guilty, it wasn’t a shock to anyone, even Toji.

But it didn’t help that you were there, holding your two year old as police men took him away. Not once, during the whole ordeal, did Toji look back at you two, deciding it was too much to see his girlfriend and daughter who he loved so much get taken away from him. He’d probably break down right there if he looked back.

You cried so much that day, especially when getting told that he’d be facing five years. Even when your lawyer ensured that Toji would face a lot less if he behaves well in prison, it all went in one ear and out the other.

It had been a difficult two years, he’s missed out on so much. Such as, his daughter’s third and fourth birthday, you having a new job and the fact that you and that guys relationship was more serious than he thought.

He remembers when you told him about it. It was bittersweet due to the fact that you brought your daughter so Toji could see her. “Daddy!” She exclaimed, excited to see her dad even though it’s behind a poorly cleaned window. She was too excited to even speak through the telephone.

But Toji already knew. Toji knew his daughter loved him. He talked to her about school and smiled as his four year old talked about whatever she’d been doing for the past week. Except, she mentioned that her, mommy and ‘that man’ went to the park.

When his daughter said that, Toji looked at you only to see you looking away, embarrassingly. Despite his annoyance, the raven haired man kept smiling at your daughter, even more attentive than he was before.

You took the phone once your daughter was finished, “He’s just a friend from work.”

“Why don’t I know about this guy?” Toji asked whilst keeping his hand pressed up against the glass so his daughter could press her hand up too.

“Because it’s not that serious to be talking about.” You sigh. And you were right, it was a couple of dates and drinks but he didn’t make you feel things that Toji had made you feel. “Don’t do this, Toji, not here. Not in front of her.” Your daughter looks up at you, her hand still separated from her fathers due to the glass.

He scoffed, “Does he sleep over? You fuckin him now, is that it? In my bed, huh?”

You stayed silent, not wanting your daughter to hear you lash out. Toji grew even more annoyed at that, “You know that’s gonna upset her, right? She’s gonna think you’re replacing her dad. That shit isn’t fair, Y/N. You know I’m gonna be released soon.”

“And that’s supposed to make me roll out the red carpet for you? And forget that this shit ever happened?” You scoff. Toji opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again choosing to let you talk. “I’ve missed you so much. She misses you so much. Do you know how hard it has been to raise a child on my own? And for you to give me shit if I wanted to move on? Fuck you, Toji.”

His questions not only angered you, but upset you. You had every right to allow yourself to move on after him being locked up for two years. The fact that he’d even attempt to make you feel bad about that was absurd.

Toji watched silently as you held back tears, put the telephone in its holder and walked away with your daughter.

That was the last conversation he had with you for a year. Toji would’ve slapped his past self for even talking to you like that because he misses you now more than ever.

There were so many times where he’s called you, longing to hear your sweet voice. Even if it’s you saying that he’s a dick and you never wanted to hear from him again.

But that wish was never granted.

‘Hey, it’s me again. It’s nearly peanuts fourth birthday..’ He smiles remembering the nickname you gave your daughter. ‘I was just wondering if maybe you could come around? Or maybe give me a call, just so I can wish her a happy birthday. I miss you more and more each day. Both of you. I love you.’

The voicemail meant nothing to you. It should’ve meant nothing to you. But hearing him say your daughter’s nickname sent tears down your face.

He truly misses his little family.

You can only imagine his excitement when he was released. He called an uber straight to your home, his home. He had nothing but a bag of his possessions and $20 but once he’d see you again, he’d be more than satisfied.

It was a Saturday morning. You cooked your daughter some scrambled eggs for breakfast, reminding you of her dad who ate eggs almost everyday. Toji was set to be released any time now, and that loomed over your head like a plague.

Suddenly, you hear three loud knocks coming from your door. It startled you, and your daughter who nearly dropped her orange juice. It was probably one of your friends who forgot their bag here, you thought.

But once you opened the door, you were met with an unwanted surprise.

Toji stood, smiling down at you, dressed in a casual hoodie and joggers. He was definitely more buff due to all the muscle gain he earned through prison. It was strange seeing him again. Not behind a glass but in front of you. Not in his orange jumpsuit but in normal clothes.

You wanted to touch him, see if he was real.

“Hey..” He said. Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss you right then and there. Seeing you again after a year was the best thing that has ever happened to him.

When your daughter saw him, stood at the door, her mouth fell open. “You remember me, sweetheart?” Toji crouched down to her height with open arms as she ran towards him.

He almost cried as his little girl sobbed into his shoulder, she wasn’t as little as she was when he last saw her. He realised how much time has passed. And how much he’s missed the both of you.

“Daddy, don’t l-leave again…”, the four year old croaked out, her nose stuffy and eyes watery. Toji rubbed her back, encouraging her to let her feelings out.

Toji almost jumped when he felt an extra pair of hands join in the hug. However, when he looked up and saw you, he was reminded that everything he ever did and everything he’d ever do would be for the two of you. He pulled you into the hug and held you both, kissing both of your foreheads.

All resentment you felt towards him went away the second you saw him. The three of you caught up, well, it was more of you and your daughter catching him up. The most Toji could do was mention all the times he’s intimidated people at prison, even those serving longer sentences than him. However, Toji was still glad to know you ended things with that guy you were with.

He helped you cook dinner, not forgetting to kiss your cheek every step of the way. The meal truly being made with love. He missed the domesticity of his life. Even when he was going through all his trial stuff, he remembers you, his baby daughter and him all cozied up on the couch, eating spaghetti or something.

And now he had that opportunity again. He enjoyed seeing you remind your daughter to not play with her food and how she asked for ice cream once she was done.

Once the day was over, Toji sat on his bed, his back still not truly recovered from sleeping in a dingy prison bed. It also helped that you were there. You removed his clothes, peppering him with kisses as you did so. He snuggled up to your warm body and just listened to your steady breathing.

“I fucking love you.” He whispers and you hum in response. He knows you and how it’ll take some time before you can utter those words again. If it takes him the rest of his life to make things up to you, he’ll do that.

But that’s fine. As long as he’s with you.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #toji fluff #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji angst

[whumpback-wail]

06 -  Embrace

Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: Reminder that this fanfic contains dark and mature themes. The TW/CW are in the masterlist and are constantly updated as I add each chapter. Please reread the warnings, proceed only after you reread the warnings. If you don't like/can't handle the topics mentioned in the TW/CW, please DO NOT read. This work is 100000% fictional and any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental, and none of the characters (especially the villains) are real. Again, please DO NOT read if you are not certain you can handle these topics or are in a bad place mentally. Minors are strictly forbidden. I only create content, and I am not responsible for your personal content preference and moderation. If you think you will not like this story, please just scroll away. You have been warned.

The snow fell slowly, painting the streets of Fontaine white. Wriothesley's black jacket a stark contrast that stuck out against the white landscape as he briskly walked towards the hospital.

(y/n)...

The anger had slowly subsided, taking its place was a mix of guilt, worry, and something else he couldn't put a finger on. All he wanted that moment was just to hold her in his arms again, and let her feel safe.

Like muscle memory, he walked straight towards her room, but was stopped by a nurse.

“Your Grace, (y/n)’s room has been moved to a different one, a fire seemed to have started there but we managed to catch it before it caused too much damage.”

He cussed under his breath, “where’s (y/n)? Is she okay?”

The nurse nodded, “she’s alright, just a bit shaken. She told us fire suddenly burst out of the book by her nightstand just as she was reaching for it.”

And we’ve only got the information on vision injections today, what’s with this timing.

“Take me to her room.”

“Certainly, right this way, your Grace.”

The nurse, while explaining to him everything that happened, led him to a different floor from (y/n)’s previous room. He immediately knew which room (y/n) would be in once he spotted Navia’s 2 men in front of the door, who promptly stood up and gave him a salute, to which he nodded politely.

“Oh right,” Wriothesley turned to the nurse just as he was entering the room, “there are some new updates for everyone we rescued from that facility, one of Spina di Rosula’s men will be here soon with a copy of the files. Guys might need them for medical purposes.”

When he entered the room, his eyes immediately landed on (y/n), who he initially thought was asleep, until she opened her eyes. She must have noticed his grim expression, because she immediately sat up.

“Wriothesley? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, taking a seat next to her. He wanted to spill everything and tell her that he knew everything. The things they did in the facility, the experiments, her… assault. But will it cause her to have another panic attack? Does she even want to know, or does she want to just forget? Does she have any idea what happened and how she could set fire to her book? Does she know her vision is still with her even now?

He blinked back his tears, refusing to meet her eyes, but (y/n) could tell from the way he gripped her hand, it was something serious.

“Wriothesley, love, you can tell me,” (y/n) placed a hand on his cheek, to which he automatically leaned into. “I can tell you’re probably worried about my mental state, but hey my therapist told me I’m doing well!”

He recalled, clear as day, the number of times he had tried to bring up questions about what happened at the facility. (y/n) had only managed to explain bits and pieces of information, but had been only the things she knew, she did mention painful injections but didn’t know that it was her own vision that was injected into her. Those sessions had always ended with her crying and panicking. He didn’t want to put her through that.

He smiled bitterly, “I know you are… I just don’t think you’re ready for this.”

(y/n) swallowed, “is it… is it about me?”

Wriothesley nodded, eyes still averted.

(y/n) squeezed the hand that held hers, “I… I think I’m ready to know more.”

Wriothesley looked up, now his steely blue gaze met with her concerned yet nervous ones.

“Are you sure?” his thumb rubbed circles into the back of her hand.

(y/n) took a deep breath, “yeah, I’ll tell you if it gets too much.”

Wriothesley nodded, and told (y/n) everything he learned. The experiments, the vision injections- (y/n) was really shocked at this, although she had a suspicion about it when she saw her book catch fire so suddenly. As he spoke, Wriothesley kept a close eye on her expression and gestures. He’s been with her long enough to know if she’s uncomfortable, or if it gets too much for her. Whenever her breathing hitched, he would stop for a bit and rub her back until she gestured for him to continue.

“That was all we got from the notes left behind at their base,” Wriothesley eyed (y/n) carefully. She was playing with a loose thread poking off the end of her blanket, eyes distant and looking as if she’s processing all the information.

Wriothesley knew he had to keep going. “and now we have Dougier under our custody.”

At the mention of his name, (y/n) visibly tensed up, “oh…”

“I heard he assisted in some of the experi- procedures.”

(y/n) hesitated, “did you manage to get more information out of him? Like how do we reverse the vision injections? How do I control it?”

“Apparently only Arderne knows that bit of information,” Wriothesley sighed, shifting nervously, “and right now he’s still at large. I assure you we’ll get him, and that you’re safe here, okay?”

(y/n) nodded.

The room fell silent for a few tense moments. (y/n) picked up her blubberbeast plushie and held it to her face. It smells like Wriothesley, as he had sprayed his cologne on it. It brings a feeling of comfort to her, as if a reminder that she is never alone and that he’s with her and keeping her safe even when he’s not by her side.

Watching her, Wriothesley hesitated, but he had to- need to ask her.

“(y/n).”

Sensing his change of tone, (y/n) tensed, her hand stopping mid stroke down her plushie’s back. She turned to him.

He seemed to hesitate, looking down at her blanket instead of her face. The silent stretched for what felt like hours before he finally raised his gaze to meet her eyes.

“At the facility- no. uhh… How do I say this.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “How… How often do you throw up?”

(y/n) blinked, confused. “what?”

“Every morning these last few days, you wake up and rush straight to the bathroom. We did think it was a stomach bug, but when I asked the nurses for the diagnosis, it was as if they're hiding the information from me.”

She couldn’t breathe. It felt as if her blood was frozen but it burned at the same time. Fuck he knew. Wriothesley knew. He’s always been so observant how did she think she can even hide this from him?

“(y/n)... Are you hiding- uhh… Are-Are you pregnant?”

It was like a dam that burst. A sob escaped (y/n)’s lips, one that she tried to hold back but failed. That was confirmation enough for Wriothesley, who felt his own tears prickling behind his eyes. A split second later, (y/n) shot out of her bed, and with wobbly steps using her crutch, went straight to the bathroom. Wriothesley had gotten up to help, but was pushed away feebly. Quickly, she threw open the lid of the toilet and expelled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

“(y/n)-”

“Don’t-” (y/n) sobbed, flushing the toilet and sinking down even lower onto the bathroom floor, “I don’t want you to see me like this. You shouldn’t have known about this.”

Wriothesley paused, then slowly took another step towards her, hands open as if trying to calm a scared animal. Before he had a chance to speak, (y/n) continued.

“I feel so dirty and gross. No matter how many times I showered and scrubbed myself I can still feel his hands.”

He took a step. “(y/n)...”

“I was going to take care of the abortion process myself, and just forget everything that happened. I didn’t want to tell you. I’m so sorry I couldn't tell you. I just feel so disgusting.”

Another step. “Darling please-”

“I don’t want you to look at me or think of me differently, I just want to put everything behind me, pretend none of that ever happened and just go back to how everything was.”

Wriothesley slowly sank to his knees beside (y/n), who scooted away from him, as if by reflex.

“Don’t touch me. I-I can’t… I know you’ll probably feel disgusted and hate me for it, for hiding it from you, for everything-”

On the contrary, seeing (y/n) like this only served as the final trigger that released his tears, which finally flowed freely down his cheeks. All he wanted to do was hold her and keep her safe, tell her he loves her and… She looked so broken he just wanted to hold her. Archons, please let me hold her.

“I’ll disappear from here if that’s what is best. Just say it. You don’t want me anymore-”

”(y/n),” his voice shook, “I’m so sorry that happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to get you sooner. No one deserved to go through what you did. Everyday I hated myself for it, I kept thinking I should have done this, or that. I should have gotten you sooner.”

(y/n) wiped her tears, only for it to be replaced by more. Her vision was blurry as she tried to look at him. Part of her was glad about it, as it probably hid the disgust in his eyes.

“I’m not disgusted by you, no, that was the furthest thing from my mind. (y/n) may I hold you? Please?”

(y/n) just kept sniffling and wiping her tears which seemed to flow endlessly, but made no move to scoot further away, so Wriothesley slowly approached her and took her hand in his. He placed a gentle kiss on it, which only made her cry even more.

“I’m sorry darling, I’m so, so sorry.”

He gathered her in his arms and held her tightly, as if afraid that she would disappear as soon as he let go.

(y/n)’s voice quivered as she asked “y-you don’t hate-”

“Sshhh…” Wriothesley placed a kiss on her forehead, his own tears fell off his cheeks and onto hers. “Something like this can never make me hate you, I promise. I understand why you wanted to hide it, but please know that you don’t have to. We’ll figure out our next step together okay?”

He didn’t know how long they both sat there on the bathroom floor, crying in each other’s embrace. It took a long while for (y/n)’s sobs and sniffles to die down. He kept one hand on her back, and the other stroke her hair, hoping to provide as much comfort as possible.

I love her.

“I wish you can see yourself through my eyes,” Wriothesley whispered in her ea, “it’s gonna be okay. I promise you, (y/n).”

His words were met with silence, as it has been the past few minutes.

“If nothing else I say sticks, at least please let this be the one thing you remember. It’s not your fault. I love you (y/n), you’re still the same old (y/n) I know and love, and Archons, no matter what happens I can’t imagine a life without you. I love you so much (y/n), none of this is your fault.”

He decided to wait a little longer before he noticed that her breathing was slower. Wriothesley peered at her face and saw that her eyes were closed.Tear tracks were still present on her cheeks, which he wiped away with his thumbs, before placing a gentle kiss on top of her head.

Slowly he shifted his position so that he was carrying her in a princess carry, with her head resting comfortably on his shoulder. He walked over to her bed and gently laid her down, tucking her in under the blanket, and placing her plushie right beside her.

For some time, he sat beside her, just admiring her features and tracing her cheeks all the way to her jaw with the back of his hand, light as a feather.

“We’ll get through this together, you and me. I promise you.”

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(っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ(ノ_&lt;;。)

If you think reading this chapter is hard, imagine writing it :”D emotional damage

Apologies for the late update, and perhaps a steady decline in writing quality (I’m no writer, just doing this for fun!) as I have been swamped with work this past week after I was down with a bad cold for quite a bit (there’s been a bug around, and so many people were sick :”D) I sincerely thank all of you for your continued support for this series, I love you guys. Hope you all stay safe and healthy!

I hope the next chapter won’t be as hard to write because hoooo BOYE. my bf had to comfort me after I finished writing this chapter.

Taglist: @almosteggs @quuela @tempest1art @yamanaka13-blog @arseneumbra @kimmeaahh @cottonfluffs @randomidk-123 @applejayee @keigo-hawks-takami-simp @mechanicalbeat1 @aribae14 @bforbiblio @supernerdycookietrashblrr @furblrwurblr @chifuyus-kitty @bunnibabe @the-real-fandom-person @idawnghoul

#wriothesley x reader #whump #anime whump #whump writing #whump fanfic #wriothesley #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #wriothesley angst #wriothesley x reader angst #hurt/comfort

[ivys-cafe]

📠 don't go dark

pairings: newt x thomas, female!reader is only mentioned

summary: newt finds it hard to cope after the group got separated with y/n. thomas helps him find hope.

timeline: wckd lab during scorch trials

genre: angst, hurt, comfort

warnings: established relationship, mentions of pregnancy, devastated newt

author's note 🧇

i've always imagined what it would be like if my oc got separated from the group. also i made y/n pregnant here. sorry if anyone is finding difficulty relating to that. it's just i've wrote a whole story before about my oc, and in my version the oc is pregnant with newt's baby in the glades. but i hope it doesn't take anything away from this scenario. i really want to highlight newtmas' friendship and all of its fluffiness. if you have any feedback, you can message me or write something on my ask. i would appreciate it very much.

-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛-

Newt slumped down onto the cold metal floor, his head buried in his hands. He feel his heart beating erratically in his chest. How could they be in the safe hands of WCKD, while the love of his life was still out there? Was she alone, scared, and in pain? He could hardly bear the thought.

He thought of you, your stubbornness and unyielding nature. He knew that you had made the decision to stay behind in the maze, not wanting to abandon your best friend Gally, but he couldn't help but regret not forcing you to go. He should have gone back for you, he should have done something.

But now, it was too late. He was stuck in the hands of WCKD, with no way of knowing whether y/n was even alive. The uncertainty was tearing him apart from the inside out, his mind racing with all the possibilities of what could be happening to you.

Were you in danger? Were you being hurt? The thought of you suffering alone, with no one to turn to, made his chest ache with a pain he had never felt before. Newt's anxiety spike, his thoughts are driving him insane. He knew he had to find a way to get you back, but he didn't know how.

Thomas sat down next to him, looking just as exhausted and defeated. "You okay, man?" he asked, trying to break the silence.

Newt scoffed bitterly. "How do you think I'm holding up?" he snapped. "I don't even know if she's alive or dead, and we're stuck in this damn place."

Thomas placed a hand on Newt's shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. "Maybe she's out there. We'll find her, Newt."

Newt jerked his shoulder away from Thomas' touch. "Oh, of course. How could I be so foolish? We'll just stroll out of here, past the guards and their guns, and find y/n wandering around outside the building. Simple as that." He shook his head, fear latched onto his trembling voice. "Face it, Tommy. We're trapped here. And we don't even know if y/n's alive or dead."

"Y/n's smart," Thomas stated with conviction. "She can handle herself out there, Newt."

Newt's body trembled as he shook his head, anger and grief mixing into a boiling pot of emotions inside of him. "You heard what those bloody cranks say, didn't you?" He hissed at Thomas. "The Scorch will chew us up and spit us out like we're nothing. And y/n..." His voice cracked, the anguish almost palpable. "She's out there, alone and pregnant. And I couldn't do anything to protect her."

Thomas frowned, his face etched with concern. "I know it's not ideal, but we have to keep moving forward. We have to keep fighting."

"You don't get it," Newt said, his voice barely above a whisper as he struggled to hold back tears. "You don't know what it's like to feel like you've lost everything,"

Thomas's face fell, his eyes betraying the pain he felt. "I do, Newt," he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "I lost my memories, my family, my entire life. We were all in the maze, fighting for our lives every day. I know it's not the same, but I understand loss. And I'm here for you, man. Whatever you need."

Newt's anger began to fade, replaced by a deep sadness. He leaned his head against the wall, feeling defeated. "I just miss her so damn much," he whispered, tears streaming down his face.

Thomas could see the pain on Newt's face, and he knew there was nothing he could say to take it away. He put his arms around his friend, holding him tight as Newt sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Newt. I'm so sorry," Thomas said softly. "But we can't give up. Not now. We have to keep fighting, for y/n, for ourselves, for everyone we've lost."

Newt pulled away from Thomas, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "I know," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"We'll find her, Newt," Thomas asurres, his voice firm and resolute. "No matter what it takes, we'll find her and the rest of our friends."

end

2023 • ivys-cafe ☕️

all rights reserved

#tmr newt #newt tmr x reader #newt the maze runner #the maze runner #newtmas #newt x reader #scorch #scorch trials #tmr imagines #newt tmr imagine #newt x y/n #thomas brodie sangster #thomas sangster #the maze runner imagines

[theres-a-body-here]

Would love a male reader being face fucked by the oni from dbd and then after he cums he pisses down the readers throat. You said nasty lol

The Oni x Male!reader

In the beginning, your relationship with The Oni was strained – to put it mildly.

To be blunt, you two were worse than Laurie and Michael.

Kazan would tunnel you during trials, making sure you were certainly dead before he could even fathom focusing on anything else.

And in return, you did everything in your power to deny him hooks. Flashlight saves, pallets, and plenty of For The People with Buckle Up.

However, as time went on, the dynamic shifted. What had once been hatred began to morph into something resembling rivalry, albeit still laced with animosity. Maybe it was because the both of you are stubborn, prideful, and anger-filled men who refused to give up easily.

Eventually, though neither of you could pinpoint exactly when or why, that simmering antagonism blossomed into an alluring attraction that neither party could ignore nor resist.

It wasn't uncommon for you to be seen sneaking off from the campfire to visit Kazan in his realm. At first it was just to tease him, but that evolved to sitting close to one another in silence.

Again, maybe it was because you two were so alike in temperament that the next jump was so large, because it rapidly switched from taking in each other's presence to full on casual sex. This is pretty impressive considering you can't speak Japanese and he can't speak English.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazan stood above you, his towering figure casting a shadow upon you as you knelt on the old futon in his home. His erect blue member was right in your face as it twitched in anticipation.

Gently cupping your face in his hand, Kazan pressed the tip of his hardened member against your lips and traced them with it. You took a sniff smelling how hot and musky with sweat his cock was.

"さあ、小さな獲物よ...大きく開いてください。," he said, his voice thick with desire.

You felt your pants tighten at the sound of his voice, even though you didn't understand what he said. "I don't know what you said, but it's making me horny," you confessed, unable to resist pressing a tender kiss onto the slimy crown of his erection.

A low growl escaped from beneath Kazan's mask as he pushed the head of his penis between your eager lips, seeking entrance. You parted your lips to allow him to slip inside, taking the first few inches into your warm mouth.

"いい子..." he cooed softly as he reached down to pat your head affectionately.

Slowly yet surely, Kazan began to slide deeper into your welcoming mouth, the girth of his shaft stretching your throat until you found yourself gagging and choking on its sheer size.

Still, you continued to take him in, determined to not look like an inexperienced virgin

"そうか、お気に入りのものですね。," he murmured approvingly, seemingly pleased by your efforts. He continued to stroke your head lovingly, encouraging you to take even more of his length.

Eventually, Kazan extracted his pulsing cock from your bruised throat, leaving you breathless and craving more.

As he gazed down at you with an intensity that bordered on ferocity, he spoke once again in a low, tender voice, "あなたの顔をファックしてもいいですか？"

Despite not knowing Japanese, there was no mistaking the questioning inflection in his voice.

You decide to take a leap of faith and nod your head. "Yeah....sure," you coughed out as you tried to guess what you agreed to.

Your bold response brought a hint of amusement to Kazan's eyes, hidden behind his Oni mask. Ruffling your hair fondly, he readied himself once more, aligning his rigid cock with your swollen lips.

In one smooth motion, Kazan plunged his monstrous cock deep into your open mouth, feeling it glide effortlessly down your now looser throat.

Before you had time to think about the nature of Kazan's request, he seized hold of either side of your head, effectively pinning you in place. Then, with an animalistic growl, he commenced to roughly thrust his hips forward, driving his cock deep into your helpless throat.

Each brutal thrust left you gasping for air, tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggled to keep pace with his unforgiving rhythm.

You wrapped your trembling fingers around Kazan's thick thighs, digging your nails into his skin.

The impact of his heavy balls against your chin grew increasingly violent. With each passing second, he sped up, turning your mouth into nothing more than a fleshlight.

Abruptly ceasing his relentless assault, Kazan held still, burying his cock deep inside your gasping throat. Silver pubes tickled your nostrils as you fought desperately for air. Through strained breaths, he whispered in a low tone ,"とても可愛い男の子 ."

Once more, Kazan resumed his violent pounding, forcing your head back so he could look directly into your glassy eyes. You felt his cock throb against your sore throat walls as it slid in and out of your mouth.

Rivulets of drool and precum trickled down your chin. Amused by your vacant expression, he let out a low chuckle.

Kazan tightened his grip on your skull, his fingers practically sinking into your flesh. Growling deep in his throat, he exclaimed, "すごく激しく射精するよ."

With a few final, powerful thrusts, Kazan drove himself deep inside your eager mouth, holding himself there as he began to release his load. Wave after wave of hot cum flooded your throat as his cock throbbed and twitched with every spurt

Determined to take every last drop, you swallowed as much cum as possible, but it proved too much for your struggling throat. Unable to contain it all, some of the excess semen leaked out of your nose, causing you to splutter and gag.

You manage to swallow most of it as Kazan pulls his cock out, becoming softer. You open your mouth, showing him. Kazan lets out an approving rumble from his chest as he holds your tongue between his pointer finger and thumb to inspect your mouth.

"良い子だよ。これはあなたのご褒美です," he says in a soft low voice.

Cupping your chin gently, he guided the tip of his now flaccid penis back into your mouth, then began to urinate.

Clamping your lips tightly around his member, you drank greedily as he continued to empty his bladder into your mouth. Every swallow sent warmth coursing down your esophagus.

As you drank, Kazan reached down to pat your head affectionately, taking pleasure in watching you consume every last drop of his urine.

Finally, he pulled out of your mouth before tucking his cock away. Sitting down behind you on the futon, he released a contented groan, his body relaxing from the recent exertion.

Pulling you closer, Kazan pressed his masked face against your exposed neck, inhaling deeply as he took in your scent. His calloused hands roamed across your distended stomach, feeling the contents of his seed and urine slosh beneath the surface.

#dbd x reader #dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight #omorashi #piss kink #pee kink #pee drinking #facefucked #cumswallow #dbd #kazan yamaoka x reader #kazan yamaoka #kazan x reader #the oni x reader #the oni dbd #male!reader #male reader #rough kink #omo

[highfantasy-soul]

Katara: NATLA Edition - Waterbending

In the Netflix show, Katara's main teacher was the world - she observed, she learned the spiritual side of bending from Aang (and a little from Jet), and she learned from opponents she fought (including Pakku)

This is SHOWING Uncle Iroh's lesson to Zuko in Bitter Work (book 2) about learning as much as you can from everywhere even if they aren't directly doing your own style of bending. By learning about everyone's cultures/styles/philosophies of the world, then you have a more rounded view of the world and can incorporate new things into your own bending.

I think an important distinction people are missing when they compare LA and animated Katara is that in the animated series, we see Katara WATERBEND more, but in the live action, we see her PRACTICING waterbending more.

In the animated series, she's already doing very useful things with her waterbending (lifting a fish, throwing water and freezing it, breaking apart an iceberg with her anger, pulling down a bank of snow,  lifting a whole wave of water, pushing and pulling a wave, pulling water from Aang's lungs, pushing the water while she's in it to get to shore faster, lifting water from a river to freeze as a block on a guy's head, lifting and maneuvering water in the air) before she ever even gets a hint of training. She just 'naturally' knows how to do all that through her own trial and error - no advice from Aang about the spirituality of bending, no training from the scroll, and no using moves she's seen other benders do just making it water.

The only times we see animated Katara training is in The Waterbending Scroll episode - which is the entire point of the episode - and in the trio of episodes up in the NWT - again, the whole point of her arc in those episodes. Everything else, she's done on her own and there's no moments of her training during the other episodes, she just waterbends.

In the live action, we see Katara constantly practicing, even when she's just in the background of a scene or traveling from place to place - she's ALWAYS practicing her stances or playing with water to get better.

In the live action, Katara is struggling with ALL of waterbending, not just the technical aspect of it - because bending is a highly spiritual practice where you have to be in the right mindset to do successfully. We see every single step of Katara's waterbending practice journey - from not even being able to lift a globe of water to holding her own against a master.

We get to see the process of bending from start to finish which really fleshes out the magic of the world in an organic way while providing one of our leads with more depth that ties them to the themes of the world and of their own culture and how the oppression of the Fire Nation affects her mental state.

In the animated show, we hear Katara talk about how losing her mother hurt her, yet we really only see the fallout of that trauma, not her inner turmoil over it. We see her taking on a 'motherly' role in the community and with Sokka, we see her anger at the firebenders, we see how she's had to grow up too fast and just wants to be a kid, but the actual death of her mother and its affect on her isn't shown.

I like how the live action specifically shows how Katara's mother's death affects HER - she doesn’t just share the story to connect with others, it's not just the 'reason' she acts the way she does, it's not just something that impacts her relationships with others: if no one else in the world existed for Katara to interact with, Katara would still have a journey to go on surrounding Kya's death.

In the LA, the fact that her mother was killed by a firebender looking for HER - and she tries to save her mother using her waterbending and it doesn't work because she isn't strong enough yet, directly affects Katara herself independent of anyone else. That trauma keeps her from being able to waterbend easily like she does in the animated show and it's one of her main arcs: the arc to learn waterbending isn't just a technical journey for her like it is in the animated show, it's emotional too.

Generational trauma due to horrific violence is shown both in external issues to grapple with as well as internal ones our characters have to face alone.

I really like how the live action broke down Katara's waterbending and we got to see the 'less flashy' aspects of it. She's not constantly doing huge and impactful moves, she's steadily growing in power and confidence one small step at a time. She doesn't do it alone - she has so many teachers who help her along the way with both the physical and mental aspect of bending and to me, her progression in power is much more clear in the live action than it is in the animated show.

#natla #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #atla #natla positivity #katara

[babyspacekwid]

Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)

From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕

Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.

Aries moon, especially men y’all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.

Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.

(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!

I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M

ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕

#astrology #astro observations #taurus #capricorn #scorpio #aries #chiron

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

It bothers the hell out of me when no one talks about what George stacy? (whatever his name is) (gwens dad) pulling out a gun and was (probably) going to harm his own kid?? why is no one talking about? why is that scene so overlooked?? it's so fucking overlooked, call me whatever, but my gut has been screaming to me about it, it's so weird how overlooked it is, And I know it's not just me, but I also feel kike I know why and it sucks, I feel bad for gwen, I don't think she'll ever look at him that way and it's not being talked about as much.

NO DEADASS REALLY FOR REAL DEADASS

Like the implications of that scene are insane - if we question what he would've done, like it gets sickening.

Because he let out a warning shot, he's going by procedure. So if Gwen hadn't complied, what would he have done? If she 'resisted arrest' is he really ready to use force - A GUN on his own daughter.

He KNOWS she Spider-Gwen now. He's see what she can do - Gwen could probably dodge a bullet if she knew she was being shot at. Knowing that, he was doing that to get her to submit in fear, that hopefully his place as a cop would scare her into WHAT?? Giving herself up.

Gwen CAN'T.

This is NYC mind you.

If you get arrested in NYC they send you Riker's Island while you wait for trail. Riker's Island being the jail that inspired ARKHAM ASYLUM.

It's considered one of the foulest facilities in the country. Gwen is what, 16-17? Wanted for murder - the cops HATE her, the courts could easily trial her as an adult.

Was he REALLY ready to throw his 16 year old daughter into the most dangerous neglective hellish place the city has to offer? Was he ready to shoot her or worse?

WHAT WAS HE GONNA DO??? CAUSE WHATEVER IT WAS...HE SEEMED COMMITED TO DOING IT.

SIR WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO INFLICT UPON YOU INNOCENT CHILD - HOBIE GET THE GUITAR

No wonder she was gonna leave without talking to him. If Hobie hadn't come over, she would've rather been homeless on the streets rather than try and face her dad again - knowing it can end up MUCH worse.

Not knowing if he's looking for her to apologize or throw her in a cruiser he makes me SICKKKK BRUHH ITs NOT EVEN FUNNY AT THIS POINT

As soon as he started talking she had an attitude because she's still pissed about there. There's so much sadness there but anger too, cause like

How you deadass pull a gun on your only family??????????????

How you deadass about to send your daughter to a detention center or a jail OR MORE LIKELY COMPLETE SOLITARY. Consider her powers.

Like..... These movies want me to pat him and Peter B. on the back for a job well done when they BOTH let Gwen down. And Gwen has to come TO THEM to fix it (which I understand for her dad but Peter r u deadass)

Meanwhile Jefferson is doing TWENTY THOUSAND TIMES BETTER WTF

FUCK GEORGE STACY ALL MY HOBIES HATE GEORGE STACY JEFFERSON DAVIS IS A KIN

DO YOU THINK HED EVER PULL A GUN ON MILES NO!!!!!

#Sorry but MIles42 should punch Gwen's dad :) #Like he's normal now but he Must Repent #gwen stacy #spidergwen #spider gwen #george stacy #atsv discourse #atsv analysis #atsv #spiderman #spider man #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #miles morales

[arson-09]

Why AcoMaF is a subjectively BAD BOOK

Point 1: feels like a different series

Acomaf does NOT feel like a sequel to acotar. The main reason being your introduced to a whole new cast of characters without warning. Typically, in a series your introduced to your main characters in the first book and the cast that will come and go throughout the rest of the series (ex pjo, six of crows, the cruel prince) you get new characters introduced at some points but you already know all the really important people. in acomaf though we basically forego the og acotar cast (which was small) and given a HUGE cast of important characters. Along with a new, large plot that really didn't get footing in acotar. The only thing that carries over between the two books in Feyre. Tamlin and the spring court hardly count in my mind cause its so drastically different from how it was written in acotar

point 2: characters, their motivs, and their writing

I can go on for AGES about the character assassination of Tamlin. Sjm completely re-wrote his character. There was no actually foreshadowing for this behavior in acotar and i will talk on this more in a later point. But back to our main girl Feyre. Feyre wasn't horrific in this book (shockingly) however she frequently states things that aren't true. Example, she says that "He [Tamlin] hadn't tried to kill her [Amarantha], hadn't crawled for me." which is false. to quote acotar "I found Tamlins eyes- wide as he crawled towards Amarantha, watching me die, and unable to save me while his wound slowly healed, while she still gripped his power." I could also cite early passages where Tamlin is BEGGING Amarantha to stop hurting Feyre. We are told why in acotar Tamlin couldn't fix everything (giving reason to Feyre having to do the trials etc etc) however this is promptly forgotten in acomaf to villainize Tamlin and give Feyre some sort of motive. A completely unnecessary thing. SJM can't commit to what she wrote previously, having to retcon things instead of thinking up some other motivation or reasoning. Its frankly lazy and makes the story feel cheap. I made many highlights in acomaf where something is directly retconned.

point 3: SJM and writing anger issues and mentally ill characters.

This will mainly focus on Tamlin as his character and his issues are quite personal to me.

Tamlin is written to have anger issues. these are vaguely hinted at in acotar when, after Rhysand comes and threatens the shit out of everyone Tamlin orders everyone to leave the dining room and then takes his anger out on the furniture (that is what is hinted at anyway) and then in acomaf these outbursts of anger are amped up. And used to go "look! he's actually evil and a bad person!"

As someone who has anger issues, a short temper, whatever you want to call it, finds this really disheartening. It's clear to me that sjm doesn't actually put thought or care into writing characters with tempers. Its also extremely biased as Rhysand is written to have a short temper however this is never a problem, but it is with Nesta and Tamlin. Now this is not me excusing abuse, but a character having anger issues does not equal abusive and bad like the acotar fandom heavily does with Tamlin. In general Tamlin's character is so dissolved in acomaf its just sad. SJM didn't even try to write a convincing character descent. At some point in writing acotar she fell in love with Rhysand and decided she wanted to change the love interest. (she had done this before in throne of glass) and while that's fine choosing to use Tamlins anger issues and protectiveness to attempt to write an antagonist was a cheap cop out. She couldn't even commit to making him an actual villain. Shes just capitalizing off of mental issues.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #tamlin #rhysand #feyre #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #sjm #sjm critical

[identityflawed]

blood and bone: what sith are

still thinking about how maul bit palpatine’s hand in his final trial on hypori. he bites the hand that feeds him. sidious tells him there is a second apprentice not out of any truth, but only to determine if maul can take this last, crucial, utterly irrevocable step towards the dark side: to hunger not only for destruction, but to hone that anger, one target at a time. to be willing to kill the one thing he loves. (and maul does indeed love sidious.)

this is why maul succeeded. this is why anakin failed. for he did not truly love the jedi. and he did not willingly kill padme. his anger was a frenzy, blind and indiscriminate. palpatine underestimated the power of pure, love. for the love maul had for sidious was sickened and twisted and built on foundations of blood and bone. but anakin and padme had something particularly tangible. something sidious could not understand, even though he claimed to. you cannot unravel this love, you cannot pervert it or manipulate it at its core, though it’s extremities may weaken and die.

this is why vader failed, this is why luke succeeded. because vader never really wanted to kill padme. and perhaps he buried the notion of fatherhood despite bearing it in his new name, but he never really killed it. so when luke comes into the picture, vader no longer needs palpatine. he is no longer the only connection he has. padme is back, now, and the legacy of anakin skywalker is more than blood and bone.

it is luke. it is leia. it is hope. it is light. it is love.

vader will not bite the hand that feeds him because everything he has done has been for love. and palpatine can’t understand that. he never has. he never will.

and this is why anakin skywalker succeeds. this is why palpatine fails.

#sith #jedi #star wars #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #palpatine #darth vader #analysis #princess leia #darth sidious #anakin #sheev palpatine #yeah i cooked with this one #ill say it. #the wrath of darth maul #revenge of the sith #idflawed analyzes

[meshlasolus]

Come What May

Episode 3/?

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!Reader (little one)

Warnings: relationship issues, ptsd, withdrawal, sickness and slight suicidal behavior if you really squint. Just a lot of angst with a small bit of fluff at the end

A/n: SURPRISE SHAWTIES but don’t expect the next one for a while ima be busy

It only took two days to set up the cavern, but it felt like eternity. The silence was deafening between you both as the work was done, but by the time it was finished, you still were unwilling to speak to Obi-Wan. He was sure that this was the right thing, to go into hiding in order to keep you safe, to keep Luke safe... but at what cost? Already you both had stopped meditating together, though by your defiance of the darkness, you refused to quit doing it on your own. He knew that the things you did were not out of anger towards him, but as the days went on that week, it felt more and more like you were drawing away from his presence. Perhaps it was simply his lack in using the force that divided you.

He knew you wanted so much more than this life, and by leaving him you could have it. You stayed by his side through so much but he wondered if this was the last straw, that if things did not reconcile that perhaps you'd be gone one morning and he would be left to wonder. This was not the life he'd planned to give you, and this was not the place he'd meant to build a home with you... but plans change, and unfortunately, the rapid spread of the empire would make it hard for a jedi to live anywhere desirable.

The day came to cut your braid, as though it could simply be unbraided and left with the rest of your hair, you refused to let go of that small ritual, one that would allow you to feel the smallest sense of normalcy. It would not be as you hoped, because you had wanted to take your trials, and to become knighted under the republic... you wanted to sit before the council and receive your title as Obi-Wan cut your braid. You wanted the jedi lifetsyle, though at some point in your life you cursed it for what it was. Oh, how your mind was changed. It always seems to go, you don't know what you have until its gone. And you'd lost damn near everything. You lost your best friend, you had lost the person you considered your sister, several people you had known your entire life in the temple, you lost your bond with the clones, who now only lived to kill you. You'd lost your way of life, and the chance to live freely. Most of all you'd lost your fighting spirit, the one that kept going in the midst of the storm. You lost your will to keep the battle going.

That's why you stayed with Obi-Wan, and clung to him through your harsh feelings. He was that which survived and you would be grateful every day that no matter what you lost, at least he was still here with you. You gave into his notions of forgetting about the Jedi way, and sat before him as he prepared to cut your braid. He'd kept doing it by your request until this incident, but now it was time to lose all reminders, and lose all peoof that you were once Jedi.

"Will you cut it with your saber?" You asked gently, those being the first full words you'd uttered to him in the last four days. He understood that you were coming to terms with this, with everything. He knew that the pain was subsiding and the instinct to survive was beginning to outweigh the emotional side of things. It hurt him to think you wete surrendering to defeat, but what other choices did you have?

He nodded, and did as you asked. It was hard to watch the longest strands of your hair become the same length as all the others... it was the end of an era in your life and his. He was no longer your Master, and you were no longer his Padawan. That had always been the foundation of your relationship, and though you loved one another enough to prevail, despite it being gone, the memory of times past would sting for years into the future.

The next thing to go was the sabers.

This weapon is your life...

You both rode the Eopie to the middle of the desert, where likely the only travelers were Jawas. It took little time to dig a small hole for the box to fit into, one containging both your saber, his... and Anakin's. You wanted so badly to keep hold of it, to take the crystal from it's flash chamber at least and to have it with you as a reminder of a boy you once loved dearly.

Watching the first shovel full of sand cover the box almost felt like a disgrace.

"He hated sand," you whispered, but he heard you, as the silence was loud before you spoke.

"He hated this planet."

You knew that perhaps that very reason was why you were here instead of a luscious green planet. This place was a wasteland, and so many people hated it. It was the perfect place to hide withour attracting too many unwanted visitors. Even though the hunt was fresh, the Imps on Tatooine would likely clear out and leave only the minimum required guards at each station.

After the sabers were buried, she snapped from her thoughts, climbing the animal they rode togetger and headed to their new home in the mountains.

-

The first day passed without meditation, and without using the force to connect with anything around you, and you had started to feel a weakness in your body. It was not harsh or painful, but it was noticeable after a single day.

You had not yet searched for jobs nearby, as Obi decided it would be wise to lay low for a week or two, just until the troopers near the city had cleared out. You passed the time by setting up the security system outside the cavern, and by trying to make the sandy home more livable. Your strength ebbed lesser throughout the day, and by nightfall you found yourself sick.

You woke up several times in the darkness to go outside and heave to release the contents of your stomach, and even when it was gone, you still felt the need to throw up the bile that remained. Your body was having horrendous affects, and by the time the suns rose, you felt every ounce of strength was gone from you, and you collapsed beside Obi-Wan's sleeping form and fell into a slumber yourself.

The force bond was broken, and he could no longer sense about you a great many things. There were perhaps physical gestures you made on occasion that he was always able to recognize... but his way into your mind was gone. It is why when you were sick in the night, he slept through it, and had no idea what was happening.

The sickness did not carry into the days, but left you feeling completely overwhelmed and without resolve. The love of your life had no longer a force signature surrounding him, and it pained you to think that never again would you feel it’s comforting embrace.

Being without that presence made him different. He was still Obi-Wan, but a piece of him was missing, and you couldn’t grab hold of it anymore.

You grew so tired after doing barely anything. Eating, drinking, and talking became hard as well, and soon all you could do was stay up during the night, and sleep through the day.

Obi-Wan tried to pull you from your slumber on some occasions, but often he felt it best to let you sleep, to begin to gain strength to face this new way of life. It was taking a toll harder on you than it was on him, though he could not tell why. Perhaps all the emotional stress your body went through before any of this mess happened was somehow intertwined with how your behavior came now.

He didn’t dwell on it, and did what he could to help when he felt he could at all. It was at this stage of time that he sought after new work, because the rations and credits to buy more were dwindling by the day, though you ate little and hardly got up from sleeping.

He returned one day to find you sat on the small cot laid upon the stone and sand, a blanket wrapped tightly around yourself as you tried to breath evenly. Your eyes were filled with tears and it was now that Obi-Wan was able to see this went far deeper than mentality. You were visibly shaking, and he figured it was due to your lack in appetite and other substance.

Now he understood, the physical withdrawal you were going through was something he had not taken into consideration before, and it shook him to his core to think he’d been so careless with the very person he held dearest to him in this life. You are a consular, the force made living… a powerful being that leans on the force as if it were your own two legs. Being without it so fast, so suddenly… it was like coming off of spice after years of doing it consistently. You were sick, and weak, and your body did not know how to handle not having even the smallest uses of it, whether it be to connect with him, or to pull an item to yourself. You were powerless to stop the after affects, lest you tap into that signature, with the glowing green waves of feeling in the air around you.

Obi-Wan didn’t think twice before coming to sit beside you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against his body. You could no longer feel his signature, but he was going to make you feel him somehow.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” he apologized, but realized it was too late to undo everything that had been happening to you on account of his foolishness. He hoped he could try and make up for it by being there for you now, to hold you and to listen and to help you through all of this. “Talk to me, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I need help, Obi. I think there’s something wrong with me….” You trailed, and it sounded not only unsure, but somehow dark and cryptic. “I feel weak, my body aches, and my mind,” you paused once more, this time turning to look at him with eyes empty of expression. “It’s becoming hard to keep going.”

“Don’t say such things, we will figure this out, we always do.”

You shook your head slightly, holding onto him but just barely, as the strength in your hands was only a fraction of what it used to be.

“I am not myself anymore, I don’t feel like anyone at all,” you cried into his shoulder, and he didn’t respond this time, he just held you and stroked your hair on the back of your head. What had he done? In the last year, things had been rocky, sure, but with all the history of what had happened in the time before that? He would have considered the last year to be luxury compared to this. Compared to the fall of the order and now compared to whatever lies ahead.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, and he clung to you, hoping that you would not leave him in your sleep. He could not bear anymore loss, and neither could you. He didn’t sleep, because his fears of having his greatest nightmare come true were far too much to handle, and did not allow him a restful night.

By the first light of the morning, you stirred in his embrace, and he silently thanked whatever kept your life going through the night. You sat up of your own will, and looked down at him with sleepy eyes, but somehow it felt better than the horrendous day before. That was the first night you’d slept through till morning since you both arrived at this cavernous home in the desert.

It was slow, and without many words, but eventually you both got out of bed, and he convinced you to eat something. It wasn’t much, but after almost three days of barely touching your food, it was more than he could ask for. Sitting silently was becoming hazardous, and now that he’d realized that, he became instantly prone to striking up conversation. He understood that it was less natural now that your force bond was destroyed. It was almost like conversing with a new person for the first time, to not have the inner workings of their mind connected with yours to help you understand what they wanted to, or were trying to say.

“The things you said yesterday…” he knew it was a rather harsh topic to bring up so quickly, but it had been on his mind since the night before and he needed you to ease his mind.

“I should have told you sooner, I’m sorry to have kept it quiet for so long,” you knew he would probably only tell you not to apologize, but for this you really were sorry. “Obi, I’ve known you as long as I can remember, and for all of my life you have been a constant to rely on, and I’m grateful you are by my side…”

He nodded you on to continue, but you felt that perhaps you needed to think through your words a bit more carefully, as you did not want to hurt his esteem by them.

“From the time I was young, I never knew where I came from, only where you found me. I never knew my parents, if I had any at all. I don’t know if they loved me, or if they sold me to that camp on Mimban… I don’t even know my real name, just the one they gave me there,” he knew where this was headed, only by the words you’d uttered till this point. He knew it wasn’t his fault, none of it was, but he still felt responsibility for your happiness, and right now, you were anything but happy. “The jedi gave me an identity, someone to be, and an objective in my life. My way of life is the force, and without it, who even am I?”

“You will always be a Padawan… though you no longer train, that will not change.”

He was trying to reassure you, but you weren’t having any of this. For once you were going to say whatever came to you, even if it opposed him. You felt you’d earned that right.

“A Padawan without a Master will not succeed. You’ve cut yourself off from the force and it’s like you’ve left me, somehow. You’re different, in a way that I can’t explain or change. All of this that we’ve begun, cutting my braid, stopping our meditations, burying our sabers… it’s too much, Obi. I can’t pretend like this is all just one big mission anymore, and I don’t know what to do.”

“I understand your sadness, my love. Speaking to you has become different than how it used to be, and for that I am deeply sorry,” he cut himself off, but he wasn’t finished. He just wanted to let his words sink into you a small bit before he gave you his meaning. “It is for your protection that we now must learn this way of life. If the empire finds us and we’re separated from one another…”

Now, that was something you couldn’t bring yourself to think about. It would be the end of you if you should lose the one thing left. Without him, you have no reason to wake up everyday. Without him, you would gladly lie down and never get up again. Just as it was when you thought he was dead, your mind would succumb to the darkness, and not through the force this time. You knew that this was all in the best interest for you both, but it was just so hard.

“I know,” you looked at him, reaching out for his hand. Physical touch was nothing new to you both, but now it was like a lifeline, something to help try and fill the empty hole where your force bond used to be.

“You are so much more than what the Jedi made you to be. You are a bright and shining star of this galaxy, and no matter what happens, you will always keep glowing.”

But what loomed heavily in your mind, was that the biggest stars burned out the fastest.

-

After your talk, things started to get better. Obi-Wan was very attentive to your every move, helping you to wake up in the early morning, and making sure you were absolutely alright before he left for work. As soon as he returned, it was the same, keeping watch over you until you fell asleep. He always made sure you fell asleep first, for then he could rest himself as well.

He thought that perhaps his efforts alone were helping you to become better… what he hadn’t known however, and what you did not plan on telling him, was that you’d been using your spare time in the day to continue your own training. To use the methods he once taught you in both fight and meditation. You were careful to not use the force in front of him, or in front of anyone for that matter… but you were beginning to feel your signature become strong again, as it needed to be in order for you to survive.

He would probably disapprove of your own continuation in training, but he would not find out, as he could no longer detect your force presence anymore. He was powerless to know how strongly it surrounded his being everyday.

The time came, however, for you to begin work in anchor-head. You had far too much time on your hands, and it felt like you were becoming a recluse, away from human interaction aside from your husband.

You’d tended a rather popular bar in Mos Eisley for an entire year, you supposed a small saloon in Anchor-head would be easy work, and it was. There were no more than thirteen patrons throughout the day, and though they drank themselves into unconsciousness sometimes, they were harmless as far as you could tell. There was hardly ever rowdy behavior, and never any action to be had. It was quiet, and it was lowkey, and for someone in hiding, it was perfect.

Tags:

@cool-h-posts @honestlywtfisgoingon @fandomstanner24 @elvenrin @b0xerdancer @theatrelove3000 @graciexmarvel @heyitsaloy @1deadpool26 @justanothersadperson93 @zanzann @the-nerd-dimension @spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon @anakinskywalkerog @mandiiellen @je--a-n @guyinachair27 @avenger5-a55emble @amelia-song-pond @kaminanii @the-abyss-of-fandoms @queenofnightdreamland @world-dominating-kitty @mandowhatnow @ella-error505 @annahalo @infinity-witch @beetlejuice-stuff @liueski @solarbxby @sirianisrock @lxdyred @endless-warrior-always-fighter @iloveinej @msjb2002 @shoochi @itsilvermorny @gingerrosecosplay @sebschicken @loversjoy @argentinemango @1-800-vader @house-of-kolchek @marierg @graciexmarvel @ttzamara @truly-madly-nerdy @molieux @majahu @dyzlks @pancakefancake

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan fic #obi wan star wars #obi wan kenobi x padawan!reader #obi wan x little one #obi wan and anakin #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #ewan mcgregor #darth vader #obi wan x padawan

[thegrayascendancy-if]

I’m in love with Y. They may be the villain and my mc might be a bit too moralistic for that but every relationship has its obstacles.

Also I’d kill to see Protective Y 👀

Nothing a couple's therapy of a trial by fire (or actual battle) cannot mend tbh 😌

Ahem.

The guards watch as you pass through the glass arch, wordless and unbothered. Ahead you see two people lounging on the cushions of the winter garden, all their might going into looking most nonchalant.

You bend the knee as you always do, but there is a question in your eye, directed at the Gray Regent, who peeks at you from the corners of amber eyes.

You garner more attention than that, though. The guest, a man with a perfectly symmetrical mustache, his stature wrapped in an overcoat of shimmering velvet and furs, glares at you once over and his lips curl into one another. Your mind tries to think of a possible offense, but all it ends up with is the grime on your clothes, so different from his.

"Your servant has interrupted us," the man proclaims with sudden anger, words bubbling like boiling water.

You rush to meet the Gray Regent's gaze, explanations about to pour out, but your monarch is not looking your way at all. You hear a soft laughter that slowly ends for the lack of air, and then: "Ah... This truly makes me feel less of a knave for having poisoned your wine."

Chill runs down your spine, but you dare not move. The guest does, rushing to his feet, knee crashing into the underside of the table, face reddening like he is about to faint. The Gray Regent watches him, still seated, chin resting peacefully on top of the folded palms.

The man sways, arm reaching out weakly but finding no purchase. His legs are weak, you realize, as he nearly topples down onto the cushions but then still latches onto some rigidness in his bones.

"Fascinating," the Gray Regent continues with a smile. The man keeps lowering himself, every movement stiffer than the other. And finally, he sits down, slowly looking around with his mouth wide open. You are about to say something, unsure yet what exactly, but that is not required, it seems. "Not even a drop consumed but your weak rabbit heart has nearly ended you itself."

The man, a prince or a lord of some land, slowly, comically slowly turns to look at the Gray Regent. Fear still clouds his deep blue eyes and robs him of a voice. A long beat of silence as he is assessing, settling back into the world of living.

And he looks slightly more present.

"Now sit and listen carefully to what I tell you," your monarch says coldly. "And another word in that—" a small gesture your way "—direction, and every chalice your hands ever touch will be poisoned."

#anon loving hours #ch: y #prompt: y #anon i will be collecting that debt /j

[takerfoxx]

(After)Life: Why the Evangelion Pilots Should Be Left Alone

Hey, throwing this up here before I officially publish it in a couple days as both of a sort of preview and also for feedback. This is the first installment of that Evangelion story that I've been talking about, a sort of in-universe opinion piece to introduce the premise and themes and whatnot. But basically, here's the general idea: it takes place over the course of about a century and a half after End of Evangelion, where Third Impact turned everyone into orange juice (LCL, whatever) and made humanity into a hivemind. Shinji and Asuka emerge onto that beach in a post-apocalyptic landscape like in the movie, Rei herself later returns under very odd circumstances, and after many trials and tribulations they eventually form a throuple. However, as more and more people also emerge from Instrumentality and society begins to rebuild, they find themselves needing someone to blame, and the Eva pilots seem the perfect fit. And since Shinji, Asuka, and Rei are afflicted with a somewhat modified version of the Eva's curse from the Rebuild films (basically, can't age, can't die), they're stuck with it for a long time.

So, basically the idea is for it to be a series of short stories released out-of-order, each of them taking place at a random point of time and touching in with how the trio are doing at that particular moment and keeping track of how society is reacting to them, and vice-versa. So, this will be very different than the more serialized stuff I've done in the past, and a lot more manageable as a result. Any installments will come out whenever I feel like working on this. Anyway, here's the first installment. Let me know what you think.

Why the Evangelion Pilots Should Be Left Alone, by Alice Glocke

One-hundred and twelve years ago, the world died, and ever since then, we have been seeking someone to blame.

A world still reeling from the horrors of Second Impact. A world under constant invasion by extraterrestrial monsters beyond comprehension. A world fighting desperately against increasingly hopeless odds not just to recover, but to survive, to not go quietly into that good night, to plant its feet and declare into the face of God himself that it not only existed, but would continue to exist, and woe be to all that would seek its destruction.

In this, it failed, and the world died.

In many ways, the horrors of Third Impact are less of a scar and more of an open wound, one bleeding LCL into our waters. Yes, we continue to rebuild, and life continues to repopulate and flourish. But though the brief moment in which humanity ceased to exist was now over a century ago, we still have those among us who were forced to take part in Instrumentality, only regaining their thoughts, bodies, and sense of personal identity through sheer force of will, and who had to eke out any means of survival that they could on a dead planet.

In the years following Third Impact, as society finally began to reconstruct itself and climb out of the muck into something that was at least functional, humanity has had to grapple with how to respond to the collective trauma that every person on the planet now shared. There was a great deal of righteous anger and a cry for justice, but with the entire SEELE Council still out of reach within Instrumentality, those cries went unfulfilled. Yes, a small number of NERV employees were found and taken into custody, but those were found to have nothing to do with Third Impact, with only that organization’s highest-ranking members working in cohorts with SEELE. And those individuals also remained out of reach.

And then, everything changed. Fourteen years after Third Impact, we finally had someone to blame. The surviving Evangelion Pilots had been found.

In a way, finding them had been a relief. So much bottled-up anger, so much unresolved pain, and those responsible were beyond justice. Now, humanity had the perfect scapegoats. Essential key components of SEELE’s Instrumentality Project, masquerading as fearless defenders of Earth while working the whole time to destroy it. Shinji Ikari, known as the Third Child, and son of NERV’s infamous commander Gendo Ikari, the man perhaps the most responsible for enacting Third Impact. And Asuka Soryu Langley, Second Child, daughter of one of the Human Instrumentality Project’s designers. And while there had been many to decry pinning the blame on those two, that it was unfair to place the sins of the parents on their hapless children, all of those protests faded away when Shinji Ikari made his fateful confession. It had been he that had been given the choice whether or not to allow Third Impact to take place. And it had been he who had made the decision to end the world.

Everyone knows that image of two young teenagers being led from the UN Council by their lawyers and bodyguards, being pelted with garbage from an angry crowd. Whether they saw it in textbooks, had it sent to them by friends as a meme, or even were one of those that watched it live, this is perhaps the most infamous image of the New World. And for a time, most felt that the anger directed at those two was fully justified. Certainly, the UN Council seemed to agree, finding them both guilty of aiding and abetting in SEELE’s schemes to end the world, Shinji intentionally and Asuka unintentionally. The two were then incarcerated in a “secure facility,” and that was that.

Since then, the condition of the two pilots has mostly fallen out of the public’s consciousness. No appeals, no interviews, no word as to what they were up to or how they were doing. Every single “Where are they now?” op-ed has always ended up as a rewritten version of the same events, with each one ending with “Shinji and Asuka: still locked up,” with the only significant change being the number of years between the trial and the newest article’s publication.

Which isn’t to say that they’ve disappeared completely, but rather they seemed to have ceased to become actual public figures and become more of caricatures. They appear in comic strips and cartoons as grossly exaggerated versions of themselves, usually with the destruction of the world as the punchline. They’ve become symbols, memes, representations of the guilt laid upon their shoulders, little more than villains straight out of a children’s story.

Which isn’t to say there haven’t been voices of support over the years. Asuka especially seems to have garnered a small but vocal following, pointing out that she actually had nothing to do with the implementation of Third Impact, and so forcing her to share Shinji’s fate was perhaps unfair. The phrase “Asuka did nothing wrong” has come in and out of vogue, and in time it seems that she has become something of a symbol of the unjustly persecuted. Even Shinji himself, who for so long shouldered the majority of the blame for Third Impact, has seen a turnaround in how the public has treated him, pointing out that perhaps placing the full blame for what had happened upon a child soldier indoctrinated by an evil organization of adult men is a bit unfair.

However, none of these voices ever gained much traction. Once the trial was over, most of humanity’s attention was directed toward just trying to heal, and there was little room for the Evangelion Pilots.

But then, nine months ago, all of that changed.

The hacking of the UN security files and the subsequent leaks of not only their own data on the pilots, but also all of the files that they had managed to recover from NERV, has been nothing less than earth-shaking. Granted, little had been revealed about the Human Instrumentality Project and SEELE’s designs that the public didn’t already know, though the full extent of their machinations had been troubling. However, it was the data on the pilots that had been the most troubling, and revealed how little we truly understood about the Earth’s murderers.

For decades, Shinji Ikari had been painted as a willing participant in his father’s schemes, Gendo Ikari’s heir anointed and trusted lieutenant. But now we knew the truth. He was little more than a child forced into taking part in a war that he wanted no part in and suffered greatly for. We listened to the recordings of his screams of agony, his enraged curses and threats, and his pleas for help on behalf of himself and his fellow pilots. We read the psychological evaluations of his frequent depressive states, his attempts to run away, and the lack of support that he received. We learned of his own father’s cold treatment of him, and how Gendo Ikari would psychologically torture his son to get him back into the cockpit of his Evangelion.

And with all of this came the truth. Shinji and the other pilots were deliberately abused. Evangelions were at their most effective when bonded with a broken soul. The pilots were traumatized time and time again in order to increase their effectiveness in combat and denied help afterward. In light of this new information, we ourselves were forced to confront an uncomfortable truth. Shinji Ikari’s decision to cause Third Impact was less the act of megalomaniac enacting his father’s master scheme as it was that of a suffering child drowning in a sea of rage and torment, desperate to escape the Hell that his life had become.

Who among us as children has not wished that the world would end at one time or another? Shinji was simply unfortunate enough to have the means to do so thrust into his hands when at his lowest, and he had far more reason to do so than anyone ever could have imagined. And by all accounts, he regretted it immediately afterward.

There is no justifying what he did, no taking back the suffering that he caused. But at least now, people have come to understand why, and feel that he had been unfairly mischaracterized by history.

But that was far from the biggest bombshell to come out of that leak. Just as everyone was coming to terms with what we had learned about someone so long believed to be a monster, we discovered something that pushed almost all discussion of Shinji Ikari out of everyone’s minds.

Rei Ayanami had survived.

If there is anyone among the Evangelion Pilots subject to more discussion, demonization, and blame for what had happened, it is her. And why wouldn’t she be? An artificial human, created by a combination of human DNA and genetic material gathered from Lilith, the secretly imprisoned second Angel, literally created to serve as Lilith’s resurrection and the one to carry out the Third Impact.

Rei had fulfilled her purpose. She had bonded with Adam, the first Angel, and transformed into an abomination. Those who witnessed Third Impact spoke of a monster, an enormous pale-skinned woman embracing the Earth. And there was little reason to doubt this, as her gigantic corpse had been found just offshore of the ruins of Tokyo-3 and sits in the Human Instrumentality Research Center to this day, alongside the recovered remains of the Evangelions themselves, the corpses of the Angels, and the last remaining pool of LCL, containing the souls of those who decided to remain in Instrumentality. Surely, if anyone deserves to be painted as a monster, it is her. And it wasn’t as if she were around to protest how the history books characterized her, as she had perished immediately after destroying the world.

Except she hadn’t, at least not permanently. She had come back, and had been found alongside Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley. The whole time when the UN had been making scapegoats of those poor children, the actual monster had been in their hands, and they said nothing.

However, calling even Rei a monster had proven to be more complicated than anyone could have expected.

The topic of Rei Ayanami’s rebirth is woven into the enigma of her existence. Much has been made of her reincarnation as Lilith, while next to nothing has ever been discussed about Rei Ayanami the person, Rei Ayanami the human. And why would there be? All accounts of her painted her as a cold, emotionless being, as befitting her alien origins. What more is there to discuss?

As it turns out, there is plenty.

We have long known of NERV’s barbaric and, dare I say, downright blasphemous experiments involving the human soul, how each of the Evangelions literally had the soul of a person close to its chosen pilot embedded into its neural network. For Shinji and Asuka, it was their mothers. But what of Rei? What of this artificial person, created from a test tube, born from a vat? What person could possibly fill that role?

As it turns out, it was herself.

Three years after her creation, Rei was accidentally killed by Dr. Akagi, one of the scientists working on the Human Instrumentality Project. Her soul was preserved, thanks to its artificial nature. However, with her death, NERV saw an opportunity. Only half of her soul was implanted within a fresh clone body, while the other served as the core of Unit 00, the first of the Evangelions.

With only half a human soul, Rei’s capacity to experience normal emotions and form human connections was severely stunted, resulting in the passive, almost robotic individual described by those who knew her. She was likewise groomed to be utterly obedient, valuing little for her own life while carrying out her orders with no hesitation. And yet, despite these handicaps, connections did form. Notes from her handlers speak of a growing friendship between herself and Shinji Ikari, one that had NERV’s command concerned. After all, should she somehow break free from their programming, it could threaten all of their carefully laid plans.

This was further complicated by her second death, when Eva 00 became infected by Armisael, the Sixteenth Angel, and was forced to self-destruct before the infection could spread. Again, Rei’s soul was retrieved, but with no Eva to implant half of it into, the entire thing was placed within her new body. And unwilling to risk having a Rei Ayanami suddenly experiencing the full range of human emotions with no prior experience controlling them in such a critical stage, NERV using psychiatric drugs, tranquilizers, and mental conditioning to keep her confined within her customary passive and pliable state, right up until the end.

The topic of Rei’s latest resurrection has also been heavily debated. Certainly, her own recounting of the event has been less than helpful. We know that NERV had a number of clone bodies in reserve should she die in battle, but they were all destroyed leading up to Third Impact. According to Rei herself, a new body was formed by a “her,” presumably Lilith. Another time she claimed to have created the new body herself. But regardless of the body’s origin, following Lilith’s death, her human soul somehow found its way back into the final clone body, where she was later found by Shinji and Asuka, and remained with them for the next fourteen.

Part of the reason that the outrage against the UN has found it difficult to be sustained is that there is a lack of agreement on what exactly to be outraged about, as so much was revealed that turned everything that we thought to be true on its head, causing more confusion than anger. But perhaps the most revealing aspect of the leaks were what has since been dubbed the Pilot Interviews, recordings of the interrogations of the Evangelion Pilots following their capture.

Shinji Ikari’s were certainly eye-opening. Throughout his questioning, he was revealed to be a man haunted by his actions, someone who spent years drowning in guilt and who had only just begun to break the surface. He spoke of his many failed suicide attempts, of begging both Rei and Asuka to put him out of his misery, and seemed completely resigned to whatever justice he was to be sentenced to, though at times a passive-aggressive streak would surface, especially whenever the topic of his infamous father came up. Still, if anything, it was these series of tapes that did the most to rehabilitate his image.

Asuka’s, on the other hand, were anything but passive. If anything, she was downright hostile. It was clear that she did not feel that her and her companion’s capture was in any way justified, and felt compelled to explain her disdain to her interrogators in full, and often very colorful, detail. Nor did she feel the slightest bit remorseful for any part that she had to play in NERV’s atrocities.

There has been some debate if her attitude was warranted, with her defenders pointing out that she was correct, that she hadn’t actually had anything to do directly with Third Impact, while others claim that given the circumstances, her behavior reeked of haughty entitlement.

However, all of that was completely overshadowed by the third set of interview sessions, that of Rei Ayanami.

If Shinji’s were regretful and Asuka’s volatile, then Rei’s were downright unhinged. A far cry from the serene, almost emotionless person that she was said to be, this Rei was fully out of control, at times exploding with anger, screaming curses and profanities and death threats so detailed that they seemed less threats as they were expressed intentions that she would have carried out were she able. Other times she would collapse into a blubbering mess, wailing and pleading for forgiveness. Other times she would enter into a catatonic state, seeming to retreat within herself and not respond to any stimuli whatsoever. And still others times she would sink into a full depressive state, unable to respond with anything more than a few whispered, one-word answers, while frequently asking for death.

Certainly, the tapes of Rei’s sessions were disturbing, and to this day no one seems to know what to make of them. Is she truly the monster that she’s made out to be? An innocent victim? Nothing on those tapes seemed to indicate either way.

However, Dr. Anno of London-2 University seems to have what I feel to be the most likely answer. Rei was someone who grew up as an incomplete person. With half of her soul locked away in a gigantic bio-mechanical abomination, she was kept from experiencing the full range of human emotions, and thus never learned how to control her feelings when those emotions were returned to her. She then spent the next fourteen years thrust into a harrowing survival situation, where her only two points of human contact weren’t exactly the finest examples of emotional stability either.

However, as different as the three pilots’ reactions to their interrogators were, there is one thing that united all three: a fervent, almost desperate concern for the well-being of the other two. Rei was the most overt, with her episodes of rage especially largely spent demanding to see Shinji and Asuka and making graphic threats should any harm befall them, but Shinji and Asuka also frequently pleaded to be reunited with each other and Rei. It is clear that whatever their relationship had been during their time actually piloting the Evangelions, the fourteen years that they had spent together had formed an extremely close bond.

What followed next, we all know. Shinji and Asuka’s capture was made public, with no mention of Rei. Those two were then put on trial before the UN Council and found guilty, with the last time that the world saw them was them being led through a jeering crowd toward the waiting transports. And from there, they were to be taken away, never to see the light of day again.

However, we now know that the trial was, at least in part, a façade. An act. Almost a stage play. A deal had been struck with Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley: take the fall for the Third Impact, and you will be reunited with Rei. And then the three of you will be taken somewhere safe to live out your days in peace. The world needed a scapegoat, and it was to be them. Naturally, they agreed.

At this point, the tide had fully turned in favor of the unfairly maligned Evangelion Pilots. Even Rei was starting to be treated with some measure of sympathy. But it was what happened next that fully won over people’s hearts.

As I said, we all have the image of Shinji and Asuka being led away from the trial burned into our minds. The sorrow on Shinji’s face and the resentment on Asuka’s. The featureless helmets of their bodyguards. The trash flying through the air, hurled by the angry crowd. But what nobody knew until now was what happened when they reached their destination, and when they were finally reunited with Rei.

The nature of the relationship between Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley has, like everything else about them, been hotly debated, though it has been commonly accepted that they were lovers. And it was this moment that definitively proved that assertion, but with a new wrinkle: not only were Shinji and Asuka romantically tied, but Rei was equally involved with both of them.

It feels horribly gauche to comment on such an intimate moment, especially since it was no doubt intended to be private, but I feel that it was this moment that the world fully realized how cruel those grossly exaggerated portrayals in our media have been. These were not monsters. These were not villainous masterminds. These were people. People that loved one another, people that were willing to shoulder the blame for history’s greatest tragedy in order to protect one another, people that gave up everything just to be with each other. Yes, they had done terrible things, and yes, they should bear that responsibility. However, it is now clear that they are far from the monsters that history has deliberately painted them out to be.

But of course, it was not enough to completely upend everything that we had thought that we had known the Eva Pilots. It was not enough to smack us with the truth of Rei’s existence or her humanity. We were then confronted with perhaps the strangest revelations of them all.

And that was that the Evangelion Pilots were almost certainly still alive.

One hundred and twelve years have passed since Third Impact, and though people living past a hundred is not unheard of, it is still exceptionally rare. However, even before the leaks, people have pointed that despite the fourteen-year gap between Third Impact and the pilots’ capture, Shinji and Asuka still looked fourteen, when they ought to be in their late twenties. Was this the result of piloting an Evangelion? Some Faustian deal made with Lilith? A result of NERV’s experiments, perhaps?

Whatever it was that kept their youth, it persisted even after their incarceration. Shinji, Asuka, and Rei lived on under the watch of the United Nations for another eight years, and none of them so much as aged a day. What is more, tests ran on the pilots showed that their cells lacked any sort of molecular decay. Quite the contrary, their bodies stalwartly resisted any sort of damage at all. Any wounds were swiftly healed, any diseases immediately snuffed out, with even complete brain death being nothing more than a temporary inconvenience. A rather disturbing but revealing file revealed that all three pilots had attempted suicide a number of different times during the first few years following Third Impact, with Rei Ayanami especially taking painstaking notes on the various methods that she employed and their effectiveness, which was none. There was some speculation as to whether this strange regeneration would persist in the face of total disintegration, but no one was willing to give the go-ahead to check.

Regardless, the case was clear. Whether it be an undeserved blessing or an ironic curse, the three Eva pilots had been afflicted with some sort of immortality, frozen forever in time from the moment of Third Impact. As such, despite the decades since, they are no doubt living today, unchanged from those historical photos.

Unfortunately, there seems no way to actually check, as they are very much gone. As stated before, eight years into their incarceration, they simply vanished without a trace. A thorough, yet discrete investigation into the matter took place, during which a conspiracy sympathetic to the pilots’ plight was uncovered, with a number of UN staffers close to the pilots found to be complicit. However, no one could say where the pilots were now, as their point of release was known only to a small few, and deliberate effort was made not to keep track of them after they had been released.

Which means that Shinji Ikari, Asuka Soryu Langley, and, perhaps most unsettling, Rei Ayanami, the three most controversial figures of the last century, are currently loose somewhere in the world. Perhaps they are wandering the forests of the Americas, the deserts of Africa, or perhaps even returned home to Japan. Perhaps they took on new names, disguised their appearances, and are now living in some suburban home somewhere, or returned their old life from before incarceration and joined one of the many refugee camps in one of the cities slow to recover. They could be in a small Swedish village, in a cabin in the Australian outback, in a treehouse in the Amazon jungle, or any one of the literally millions of other points on the map.

Naturally, there has been much talk about finding them again, some wishing to make amends and publicly make up for the blame that they had been forced to shoulder, others feeling that they still had not repaid their debt to society and should be returned to imprisonment. And there are still others that do not care for either side, but instead insist that they remain a clear and present danger, that more was changed about them than granting them eternal life, that they are inhuman monsters fully capable of ending the world again and need to be stopped. But whatever the motive, something almost everyone agrees on is that they do need to be found.

And I am here to offer up a dissenting opinion. Regardless of whether you love them, hate them, feel bad for them, or feel threatened by them, the Evangelion Pilots should be left alone. This, I feel, would be best for everyone.

Whenever the exploits, positive or negative, of the pilots are brought up, there seems to be a sort of hierarchy to the degree each one is discussed. Shinji seems to be the one brought up the most, as he is still unquestionably the trigger-man of Third Impact. Asuka comes next, given everyone’s complicated feelings toward her and her swaths of supporters. After that is Rei, who, even before her survival was discovered, still occupied a very contentious place in history as the monster who directly ended the world. And then there is Kaworu Nagisa, perhaps the greatest enigma of them all, a half-Angel/half-human artificial being like Rei, created specifically by SEELE as a countermeasure to any possible treachery on NERV’s part, but was killed by Shinji Ikari before his plans could come about, and yet seems to have played as vital a part in Third Impact as Rei, but by the same token, apparently did not see resurrection like she did.

But there is a fifth name that is often forgotten in those discussions, a fifth Evangelion Pilot. And that is none other than Touji Suzuhara the Fourth Child.

It is not that Touji is totally unknown, but he exists in the public consciousness as a sort of footnote, a trivia question at best. Though he was selected as a pilot and given an Evangelion of his own, his Evangelion became possessed by Bardiel, the Thirteenth Angel, during its first test run, leading to its destruction. And though he survived, Touji was critically injured in the process, and with no Evangelion to pilot, he quietly left the program to fade out of history.

In a way, Touji was perhaps the luckiest one of them all. The early destruction of his Evangelion protected him from having to participate in the mentally harrowing battles against the Angels, and he was spared of being an active participant in Third Impact. Even afterward, he was part of the first wave of people to emerge from Instrumentality, even reuniting with most of his family and many of his friends, going on to live about as full of a life as one could in those desolate circumstances. And while the tides of history have mostly washed over him, some effort was made to locate him. During Shinji and Asuka’s trials, once it was discovered that he was among the refugees recovered from Tokyo-3, there were multiple news outlets attempting to seek him out for interviews. However, they were far too late, as he and his family were long gone.

And I know all of this, as Touji Suzuhara was my great-grandfather.

I have very little memory of Touji. Though he lived much longer than most, he at least was spared the immortality that afflicted the other pilots and passed away when I was six, and what little I do recall about him paints a picture of a quiet, reserved old man. However, in interviewing various members of my family, I was told of someone who made every effort to flee his past but was unable to fully shake its shadow. I heard stories of bullying and harassment in those early refugee camps, of the other survivors trying to blame him and his family for what had happened, much as Shinji and Asuka would be publicly blamed later. It got to the point that as soon as they were rescued and carried away from Tokyo-3, his whole family changed their names and fled, disappearing into a still-chaotic world to find a place where nobody knew them.

In time, they succeeded, eventually settling in Austria. Though they had nothing and did not even know the language, that mattered little as very few of their neighbors had much either, and they were far from the only immigrants wandering in. There, they were able to blend in, carving out a niche for themselves and building something resembling a life, and no one ever discovered their connection to history’s so-called greatest monsters.

But even so, my great-grandfather never forgot. Though he never neglected his family and tried his best to provide for them, everyone that I spoke to made him out to be a broken man, someone who had lost the light in his eyes, who would smile very little and always seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. It was forbidden to speak to him of the time before Third Impact, and the very few times he did talk of it, it was from the viewpoint of someone who never truly left Tokyo-3, haunted by ghosts.

Touji might have been forgotten by history, but he bore his scars. Unfair blame was placed upon my family’s shoulders for what had happened, and we know all too well what it is like to be made scapegoats by the those who need someone to blame for their suffering. And though I have never met Shinji Ikari, Asuka Soryu Langley, or Rei Ayanami, and know about as much about them as everyone else, I at least have some measure of understanding of how unfairly they’ve been characterized. And I am sure that they desire validation about as much as they deserve further condemnation, which is to say, not at all. As such, I feel that the kindest thing to do would be to just let them be. Wherever they are, leave them alone to seek their own peace. Because I assure you, they have paid for their sins in full. They pay every day, remembering their part in the previous world’s death.

And to those who still think them a threat, who still believe that they possess the power to once again end the world despite no evidence to back that up, consider this: they have had ample opportunity and reason to wield that power, and yet never have. As such, perhaps it would be best not to provoke them?

No matter how you feel about the Evangelion Pilots, I see little that can be gained by seeking them out. They have taken more than their fair punishment, and would likely shun any reward. And as the descendant of one of their number, I say, let my great-grandfather’s companions be and move on. We have all suffered enough.

#neon genesis evangelion #(after)life #fanfic #shinji ikari #asuka langley soryu #rei ayanami #toji suzuhara #asurei #asushin #reishin #asureishin

[sporkberries]

Hello! Do you have any recommendations for Roy Harper reading? I'm not bothered about which continuity or where, just if you had a suggestion for where you think he's best 👀

If you wanna go back to some older stuff you can check out the silver age green arrow comics and Teen Titans 1966, I'm not the BIGGEST fan of TT 1966 but it does have some cute and funny moments. I mainly read Bronze Age to Modern age so we'll go with that moving forward. Green Lantern(1960) #85-86 This is Snow Birds don't fly and Roy's most iconic story, It introdcues Roy's struggle with heroin and is pretty sympathetic to addicts which was QUITE the big deal at the time. I also think its important for to me say Ollie is not the best parent in this one, he reacts out of anger and is incredibly upset with both Roy and himself for Roy's addiction. OLLIE DOES LOVE ROY AND IS USUALLY QUITE A GOOD PARENT, THIS IS ONE MOMENT THAT DOES NOT DEFINE HIM OR HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ROY. MUST READ not just for Roy but for comic book history in general Action Comics(1939) #32 This one is a small one shot thats post snowbirds. Roy is on his own but it shows that he and Ollie still care about eachother and that Ollie really misses Roy. The New Titans(1984) #20-21 THE REVEAL OF LIAN'S EXISTENCE !!!!! ALSO JADEROY!! also itty bitty robin Jason is in this story. ABSOLUTE MUST READ Action Comics(1938) #613-618 I LOVE THIS STORY I LOVE THIS STORY I LOVE THIS STORY. It hurts me but i love it... Jade and Roy and Lian... It also shows how Roy ended up getting Lian. other than that I will say no more... ABSOLUTE MUST READ Titans(1999) #1-2 Lot's of Cute content with Roy and Lian here. I wouldn't consider it an absolute must read but again its fucking adorable so i recommend it. Titans(1999) #6 Donna Kyle and Roy beat up a Nazi with a tragic backstory or whatever, meanwhile Lian is being babysit by someone her mom has personally affected.

Titans(1999) #8-13 JADEROY!!! JADEROY!!!! LIAN!!!! Deals with the aftermath of the previous rec. Also some DonnaRoy which is admittedly cute. This story kinda covers all the moral complications of Roy and Jade and Lian. How Jade's crimes affect them all, as well as how Roy feels about Jade. I would consider this one a must read. Titans(1999) #21-22 Aftermath of previous rec, Chesire is being held to be tried. I realize a lot of these recs are relate to JadeRoy and Lian but they are so important to his character. If you enjoyed the previous story read this one, but i wouldn't recommend it in a vacuum. Titans(1999) #30 More JadeRoy, I am predictable. This is Jade's trial. If you like the previous two storylines read this. It makes me sad it makes me emo I love Jade so much and she went through so much and it doesnt excuse here actions but it still hurts. Roy makes a decision. Roy appears prominently in The Outsiders but i haven't read it all yet so i can't speak on it. Green Arrow(2001) 1-10 This is an ArrowFam MUST READ. Ollie returns from the dead, mia is introduced, Ollie and Connor, and Ollie reuinites with Roy and Dinah. It's very good. Green Arrow(2001) #16-21 General ArrowFam goodness. Ollie and Roy Goodness. Just,,, emotions.... Ollie is Roy''s dad... I weep...

Justice Leauge of America(2006) #1 Roy and his Uncle Hal :). Also Roy joins the JLA

There's more probably but this list is getting pretty full. These are also all in chronological order so :333. as a sort of anti- recommendation if you want to read an absolutely awful roy that is horrible in every way and want to be mad about it read rhato. its awful!

#spork says stuff #reading recs #roy harper #jade nguyen #jaderoy #lian harper #arrowfam

[aquanova99]

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕞

Azriel x OC

Part 2

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➽───────────────❥

Cassian leans against the wall as Nesta paces across the stone floor, knowing better than to interrupt when shes upset. Nesta was not blind she knew he was just as worried, if not more so for their friend. She stopped to go to him grabbing his shaky hand that was anxiously tracing over one of his syphon.

“I’m sorry.”

“I assume he’s still not saying anything.” When she shakes her head Cassian just takes a deep breath, “So, whats the plan now?”

“We could ask him for help. Have him join us to the town house. Maybe seeing Nyx will help. It has to be his choice, but…” Nesta shakes her head and presses her lips together, Cassian just brings her into him. Neither of them understanding what it was they had done to let their friend feel so isolated he couldn’t even speak to them.

Azriel for his part tried a bit more with Nesta, both of them having an understanding. After Luminia Grove, after Callista he found himself furious. Furious…and doubtful. He saw everything that had happened to him and questioned why? Why couldn’t his father simply leave him and his mother somewhere? Why did his half brothers hate him so much? Why did he agree to an alliance with two boys who beat him just as bad as anyone else in his life. They hated eachother until one day they simply didn’t.

He had pushed down all of his anger and it was as if it couldn’t be contained anymore. Never had he understood Nesta more. So his yelling was reserved for Cassian. Rhysand. Mor and Elain received silence. He no longer had the energy to try and untangle his feelings. Especially when, during his brief moments of lucidity, he only thought of Callista.

He can hear Nesta outside of his door. Waiting for him to be finished with his food, he sighed pulling out his pendant for only a second before speaking, “Nesta, you may come in. I wont bite your head off.”

“Yeah, that’s the issue I’m having. Can Cassian come?” Azriel’s lips tightened but he nodded. They both sat on a lounge chair, directly across from the bed Azriel sat. The shadows seeming unnervingly still.

“Az. He’s going to demand we go visit him soon if you don’t get out of this bed.” Cassian starts

“Maybe I should hike an entire mountain until I snap out of it.” He grumbles, he takes a deep breath at Cassian’s flinch. He knows he’s being too harsh when Nesta squeezes his hand, “I don’t want to see him.”

“We understand. I don’t like seeing him either.” Nesta shrugged, “But, we can see Nyx.”

Azriels chuckles, It has been awhile. Really he hasn’t been talking because its easier to talk about anything besides what happened those days he was gone. It seems ridiculous, he pines for his friend for centuries, then tries to be with someone because somehow each of his so called brothers are with her sisters, now all he could think about another woman who offered him a home, no stipulations or trials required. Apparently that was all it took. It was pathetic. He needed to forget the small hideaway he had found. And at the same time, he needed to figure out the protection spell. Why did he even want to help? His mind was racing nonstop, his headaches worse than ever. He couldn’t talk about it… So, instead, what does he do? Lash out.

“I—

“We won’t talk about it.” Nesta says

“Its not that. I don’t—I don’t understand whats happening…”

“Because your brain is reacting. As if you’re trying to survive something.” Azriel and Cassian stare, “When I was angry, and before I went on that…uhm mountain trip. I—Well it was like I was telling my mouth to stop talking but everything that came out was…mean and cruel. Like a part of me wanted everyone to either feel how I was feeling or make them leave me alone so I could stay miserable.”

The two ilyrian men stared at her. Cassian ready to get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness again, Azriel ready to tell them everything. He did everything to hold his tongue. He quietly says he will go. Neither Nesta nor Cassian argue, and quickly lead the way out. First he had to get over this, and talk to Rhys about the spell. Talk to Rhys about the spell. He repeated in his head over and over. He repeated it so much he wasn’t even aware he had made it to the town house he used to reside in. The rooms that once held so much warmth and safety now made him anxious. Though he never took it off he still patted around his neck to make sure his amulet was still there, still hidden. The long corridor to where he knew he would encounter Feyre and Rhysand filled him with dread, the shadows warned him of the upcoming interrogation, which truly, he expected. Nonetheless… how much would he be able to say. How much should he reveal?

Feyre greeted him first, enveloping him in a warm hug he felt safe to return, “Azriel…We’re happy you could come see us.”

“I really just wanted to see Nyx, if that’s okay?” He could see the hurt in Feyre’s eyes, he was told how Elain’s face turned into a scowl, he could hear Amren scoffing as she sat on the floor across from Rhys, but he could also feel how Feyre was willing to accept his answer.

“Of course, its not okay.” Rhysand said, “You’ve been missing for months, then you decide to ignore your friends, your duties. Need I remind you that Bryaxis is still out there?” Of course not. Along with his order to stay away from one of the people he was friendly with, the fact he couldn’t find him so easily infuriated him. Nothing had ever stopped his shadows from discovery. It was as if whatever that thing was, the creature that seemed to haunt Cassian every time it was brought up…it terrified even the shadows that kept him company.

“Don’t you dare imply I haven’t been doing everything I can for this court.” No. Stop. Take a breath he told himself,

“I have continued my duties. There is nothing to report. Everything has been silent. I would request you not question my abilities.” Rhysand lips tightened, Feyre glaring at him screaming at him mentally to play nice. He mentally distanced himself, shutting down any emotion threatening to spill over.

“Stop. Please,” Rhysand’s voice softened, “You don’t have to speak so formally. I—we’ve never spoken to each other like that.”

“Right.” Azriel scoffed, “I think it’s best I remember my place. You are my high lord. I am just your spy master, and I will continue to do my duties for the Night Court. As I have been.”

“Rhysand…” Feyre use of his full name caught everyone’s attention but it did not deter her mate. Nesta glared, for someone who always judged how she reacted to others he was always quick to act just the same. Saying things, sometimes hurtful things, to mask his own hurt. Hypocrite. Nesta sneered when Rhysand glared in her direction.

“Very well, then you can tell me exactly where you were for those three months.”

“Rhys. Stop.” Cassian pleaded

“No. We deserve to know. Something happened while he was gone. If he was only doing his duties he should be able to tell us, right?” Amren said with a pinched smile

“He left because obviously someone doesn’t know when to leave things well enough alone.” Nesta glared at Rhysand, “He has never once proved to be disloyal to you or the rest of the Inner Circle you claim is your family.”

“I think I agree with Rhys…” Elain spoke up, “Its just—it does seem strange. And my visions, they couldn’t see you coming back or at all when you left.”

The shadows seemed to grow darker around him, hugging him, enveloping the space around him. No one missed this, everyone watched what he would say next. “I apologize, but I fail to see how that’s my fault. Since the last time you used my blade, you hadn’t used your ability as seer. Even then, I do not report to you.”

“I wasn—”

“Don’t talk to her that way. My abilities aren’t working with you either. Something happened, or you figured out how to protect yourself from daemati, which makes everything rather suspicious, does it not? I don’t need to remind you how delicate everything is right now.”

“No, you remind me very well.” Nesta and Cassian looked between each other. Of course, Feyre knew. In fact, everyone knew because Rhysand had been trying to convince everyone that this was how they could all help their friend.

“You found something.” Rhysand stated, he had yet to move from his seat.

“I found nothing!” Azriel voice rose higher than anyone had ever heard him speak, the shadows circling him, nervous at the amount of doubt aimed towards him.

“Az, could you tell us what happened…please. Whatever happened out there…if its bad we can help.” Rhys returned to pleading, trying to dig his friend out of whatever wall he had built up so strongly. Had he pushed him that far?

Azriel laughed dryly, they were getting nowhere. He was getting nowhere near any answers that could help his own personal quest. “Nothing happened. I was not lying when I say I found nothing. Are you so desperate to find something wrong?”

“You could just show me. Whatever you did to block me out—”

“Was not of my doing. And if I had the ability to block you, I would have done that long ago. Instead of you commanding me when its convenient for you or finding things I likely never wanted you to see.”

“Is that why you left? Because I ordered for you to do something to keep the peace between the autumn court?” Rhysand stood up taking a couple steps toward Azriel who remained immobile. Enough is enough, these kinds of cracks could not begin to unravel at the center of his realm. He did his best dammit. Is doing whats best for everyone around him. Azriel’s stubbornness helped no one.

“It is ironic how you always say we have free will until it is something you deem wrong, is all I’m saying. Lord Rhysand.” There was no expression on Azriels face, no fear. Just more indifference. “I don’t know where I was nor how I got there. I found nothing.”

“Az, you don’t have to…” Nesta reached out, but Azriel shrugged her off.

“He wants to know.” He turned back to face Rhysand and Amren who was now staring him down. “I don’t know how long I flew for, I just kept flying well past the faerie realms that seem to hide from the rest of Prythian. My wings froze after several days and when I woke up…it was in a strange place I have never heard of. It has protection spells similar to our own Velaris, but much stronger. The people there nursed me, fed me and then told me to go home. I traveled back the normal way.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to tell us about them?” Mor squeaked out, sneaking in after listening into the heated discussion, “You think we would hurt them?”

“We all have things we do not wish to speak about to others, do we not? You still do not talk about some of the events of the Autumn Court, and when Eris contradicts you neither I, nor anyone else question you.” Mor immediately stomps out, muttering about everyone needing to mind their business. No one could argue his point. Every one of them kept something deeply hidden within themselves. Rhysand refuses to talk about what he had to do to appease Amarantha. Nesta still hides why she was so hurt after the battle with Hybern, Elain sees things no one else sees, Amren was an entirely different being who gave them no information. While Azriel mostly wanted to keep Callista and her people safe, it was also better for his friends to know nothing. If something were to happen and they were to encounter more daemati, more people who had the ability to torture peoples thoughts.… they would have no information. And so long as he could somehow keep his amulet hidden he would be safe. Not that anything really contained him anyhow not since he was a child, not again. Never again.

“We would never—”

“I may not be daemati, but I know when someone is lying. Unless you know how to lower centuries of protection spells stronger than Velaris had, theres no point in trying to find them. The people there…they’re stuck. They cant leave and no one whose visited has been able to find it twice.”

“You actually believe that?” Amren snorted, “They told you that so you’d leave them alone.”

Azriel became silent. He wasn’t about to argue any further. A few weeks ago, he might have agreed with Amren, but the people there. They were prisoners, their cell was lovely and they’ve made do with what they could but regardless they were stuck. Never able to leave. Stagnant. He bowed his head and turned to go back to the house of wind. At least there he could get some peace and quiet. Nesta put her hand on his shoulder to stop him for going any farther.

“Did you get your answer or not?” Nesta demanded, Rhys was silent. His eyes landing on all of his friends waiting for an answer, waiting to take a side. A house divided would not stand, and he was only making it worse. He needed to time to think. Maybe listen to his High Lady and just apologize…no. He only need to apologized if he made a mistake, and the original order was not a mistake. Was Feyre right, he thought, is he only trying to preserve his pride? Should he leave his friend alone. How else could he help? Is that what he was doing, helping? Trying to maintain control of something just to keep his family safe? Feyre stared at her mate with both empathy and fury mixing inside of her. She took a deep breath and tried to make up for hurt words.

“Azriel, would you still like to see him? Nyx should be awake from his nap any moment.” Feyre asked

“If that’s okay with you.” Feyre smiled and led Azriel away.

“Well, that went well.” Amren chuckled at the chaos

“Whats your fucking problem Amren?” Cassian spat out

“You don’t think its weird?”

“You think everything is weird. You didn’t like Nestas powers either. But you and Rhys apparently always have the last word, right?” Cassian stared at Rhys daring him to argue. Nesta just grabbed his hand and followed Feyre. When they found her and Azriel they both stared at silently at the interaction between the Ilyrian and Nyx. Silent but so soft, so loving. Azriel sat him on his lap, staring at the boy with eyes that had been cloaked in misery for weeks, the shadows finally growing dimmer around him. The little boy seemed to be playing with how the shadows swirled and danced around him, both completely taken with the other.

“I still cant believe he likes you more.” Cassian joked, finally earning a smile from his friend

“Just wait, once he can fly and run around. He is going to prefer you. He’ll need someone to match his energy.” They all smiled at the thought of it. Feyre looked at the people in this room and her eyes began watering. Not so long ago the group was voting on what to do with Nesta, then they did the same when they were deciding to tell her about Nyx’s wings, now again here they all were voting, debating, on whether or not Azriel could be trusted. Azriel of course, noticed. “You all can agree with him if its easier. I don’t hate him, but right now…I need space and this is easier. You don’t have to fight him for my sake.”

This of course, only solidified who they were standing behind. “Please, I like arguing with Rhys. I’ve been doing it since I was dumped in the cauldron.”

“I’ve learned not to side against Nesta.” Cassian joked, Nesta pushed him and he brought her into him wrapping his arms around her from behind, “Besides, I get it. You cant control who you fall in love with. And the whole Autumn court thing…”

“Well, if it makes everyone feel better, since I’m sure they can hear. I’m leaving Elain alone. I thought I could have been her…but I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I am trying to figure everything out. Whats real and whats a result of me being alone? Thankful someone notices me, maybe? I was made aware of where I stood with Rhys that night. And I cant—I cant get over that right now.”

“You don’t have to.” Nesta says, “And you don’t have to figure out how you feel right now either. If that’s why you needed space then take the space. Let us know if we can help.”

“If Lucian had a choice between Elain and the woman his father killed, he would have chosen the latter. Being mates…it doesn’t always mean the two are a good fit. I mean look at Rhy’s parents.” Feyre says lowly, thinking about the sadness in Lucian’s eyes, the way he remembers how happy he had been. The pain that never left him, the guilt he would always carry over the weight at being the reason the love of his life had died. Now… well she never saw him, he wanted nothing to do with any of them. Probably trying to untangle his own feelings from what the mate bond placed on him. “Did you care for her then? Before you left?”

“Yes. The way she noticed my headaches, even if Nuala and Cerridwen told her.” He took a deep sigh, “I’ve been pining for Mor for centuries, she’s never once thought of that. No one had. She had shown me time and time again, she didn’t reciprocate… and that medicine….That medicine is what shifted things for me. Someone noticed me, but I don’t know if that’s enough.”

“Well. I’m not in love with you.” Nesta shrugged as everyone looked at her, bewildered, “I’m serious. The last solstice we were all together you got me that book light. And it was so simple but that gift meant a lot to me. You didn’t have to do that. But you’re kind. Elain is kind. If no one has shown you kindness like that its bound to bring up some emotions. And Elain is well… anyway shes kind. That’s who she is. I don’t know why she’d side with that guy but…just…just try and figure out what would make you happy.”

“They’re right. Being mates doesn’t mean much, I don’t think Nesta and I particularly liked each other when they forced her into the House of Wind. She became happy long before she came around to me at all, and even then I almost messed everything up.” Cassian thought back to when everyone was meant to keep Nesta’s real power quiet, he wouldn’t be able to do it. Not now. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Azriel smiled at his friend, happy after so many years of suffering plagued him. He could find something similar in Elain, if he wanted. Now that Feyre was on his side. So where did that leave Callista. Why was she still on his mind? Because they had unfinished business. “Nesta, you worked at the library for a bit right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you think theres any way I could find a way to undo a spell like the one we had here?”

“I don’t know… Gwyn would know better than me. I can ask her.”

Azriel can only nod. His energy depleted from the days events. The second Nyx is out of his arms he feels like retreating into himself. Nesta is quick to excuse herself and Cassian as she wants to start looing into the research, bored for something new to read. Feyre nodded ready for sometime alone with her mate, ready to figure out how to compromise without forcing everyone to choose sides again. Not again.

➽───────────────❥

“I forgot how big this place was.” Nesta grumbled, “We haven’t even touched a quarter of all the books having to do with Velaris.”

“Poor Azriel. This must be driving him crazy.” Gwyn said as she quickly scanned through another book before putting it back on the shelf. Nesta and Gwyn were the only ones still allowed to search after Azriel lost it after a couple months of finding nothing. He slammed one book down and Clotho made it clear he wasn’t welcome until the book was found.

“I think it bothers him more that Cassian is the one stuck babysitting.” Nesta joked.

“A lot of sparring I assume.” Nesta exaggeratedly nodded and the two had to stop themselves from laughing too loudly.  “Has he told you why he wants to figure out the spell so badly yet?”

“Ugh, no. I mean I know the whole being stuck really you know…resonates with him. But theres something else.”

“You mean someone else?”

“You think so too?”

“So does Emerie. Is she visiting soon?”

“Yes, I asked Azriel to ask her to come today. Her family is still hounding her for the shop. I get worried about her.”

“Me too.” They both work for a couple more hours before they head back to the house of wind to deliver the unfortunate news once again to their friend.”

Nesta’s heart breaks at the small glimmer of hope she sees in Azriel’s eyes dying every time she steps back into the room. She shakes her head and he nods in understanding. Then as always, excuses himself. Cassian and Emerie run to meet them. The reunion momentarily takes precedence.

“I’m helping tomorrow.” Emerie states.

“The three of you at once? Nothing will get done then.” Cassian joked.

Nesta pushes him, “Anything to report?”

“He is going out for a couple hours and then we both go to see Rhys to tell him the same thing, nothing. Its too quiet. Even Eris reached out to see if everything was alright.”

“I guess when you live forever, you have time to wait.” Nesta frowns

“Until then, lets try and have a good time. We can all play some games, get Azriel to participate. Maybe cheer him up.” Gwyn offered

“Sounds like a great idea.” Cassian agreed, “He listens to you, Nesta.”

“Well come with me. You two make yourselves comfortable, okay.” She squeezes her friend’s hands and goes off to find the shadowsinger. She knocks softly at first, “Hey, Az?”

When there was no answer Cassian knocked more urgently, but it pushed open easily. They couldn’t breathe any sigh of relief as they found Azriel standing in front of some kind door made of pure night. He didn’t move. Seemingly entranced by the shadows that he had always followed. A gentle hand startled him, causing him to bring his knife out immediately.

“Its just us.” Nesta whispered

“Put the knife down. Now.” Cassian words were filled with venom. Brother or not, no one was going to do anything to Nesta as long as he was around. But Azriel was quick to sheath his weapon.

“So-sorry. Its just…Sorry.” The shadows dispersed.

“Are you going to go back?” Nesta asked

“I don’t know if I can. I didn’t summon them. It’s like a door that shows up every day. Like something is calling me back but I can’t step through it.” Truth was he was desperate and he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Have you tried?” Cassian asked

“I don’t want to be wrong. Or end up somewhere I shouldn’t be.”

“Only one way to find out right?” Nesta asked, “If you end up anywhere else, you should be able to come back right away, right?”

“I guess.” Azriel said, still dazed

“Go find her. Maybe she can figure out how the spell around Velaris works.”

“What?” Azriel asked, not completely shocked but still surprised Nesta had figured anything out.

“You said the spell is strong there, but you were able to travel out your usual way. If all they do is practice magic maybe she can figure it out for herself. I’ll deal with Rhys.” Nesta took a step back, and Cassian nodded moving as close as he possibly could to his mate.

“Go. We’ll come up with something.”

Azriel blinked. Slowly facing the shadows reaching towards him. Pleading with him to step through. He took a deep breath before taking a few steps forward, disappearing from his friends sight. They both looked at each other, hoping he would come back much sooner than the last time he disappeared.

When Azriel opened his eyes, he was back in the room he had woken up in last. It was dark, as if no one had been here since he left, if this place was as difficult to find as Callista had said he supposed it made sense. But the air was cold, immediately he felt something was wrong. The pendant seemed to thrum against his chest. He threw the door open, expecting to find everyone gone or worse, hurt. Perhaps his presence had attracted an unwanted visitor. He suddenly couldn’t breathe and he scrambled to escape the small room that seemed to be shrinking the longer he stayed in there. His could see every breath as he stepped through the frosty air. The tree seemed to light up the otherwise pitch black area. Azriel suddenly remembers Callista telling him about the evenings there and beautiful it was. She was right.

Small orbs of light spread throughout the trees seemed illuminated the intricate design of snow encasing every branch and leaf. The wind seemed to whistle through the ice like crystals, the sound of bells tinkling through the air. The ice swirled around the homes of the faeries living inside, several of them lit up themselves as the people inside moved about, completely unaware of his presence. He looked down to the forest floor, children were having a snowball fight. His heart hurts at the thought of missing his own tradition several months ago. Still wondering if he had made the right choice then, wondering if this was the right choice now? He surveyed the people, the older fae were waving their hands, bending snow into shapes around them.

Azriels eyes stopped when he saw the wings. The pinks that melted into the wing. The softest sunburst gleam that made her stand out. She belonged in the dawn court, he thought. He could hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. He pressed his eyes shut, forced himself to breathe before he would go down to talk to her. When he opened them again she was gone, he heard the fluttering behind him before his shadows had a chance to warn him of anything.

“Azriel?”

“I did say I would find a way back here.”  Callista tackled him into a hug, almost unseating his footing. He found himself burying his head into her hair, breathing in her perfume that brought him a surprising amount of comfort. His arms gently went around her waist, his hands resting on her shoulder blades, so delicate, so careful to not ruin her wings.

“I cant believe you actually did it.” She laughed as she pulled away.

Azriel smiled, trying to hide his disappointment at the distance Callista creates as she pulls away. “How long has it been here?”

“Here? Its been years?”

“Years?” Azriel assumed time would continue to drag here. He wondered how long a day would last here, “I’m sorry. Its only been a few months where I’m from. I was trying to find a way to figure out the spell surrounding this place.”

Callista’s face grew distant. When she could finally look away she cursed whatever was holding them here, “I hate this place.”

“I cant stay. I don’t understand it, but I had been missing several months when I went back the first time. Will you come with me? Maybe we could figure out a way to get everyone else out of here.”

“We do not know if I will be able to leave.”

“That’s true. But we wont know until we try.”

“I suppose not.” Azriel couldn’t help the smirk that grew on his face, “Come with me. I need to alert some of others.”

“Syra?”

Callista’s face darkens, “No. Not her. Come on.”

Azriel doesn’t hesitate to grab her hand this time and flies down to where most of the children had gathered. She lets go only to whisper to one of the kids who quickly flew off somewhere Azriel couldn’t find. The second he’s out of sight Callista comes back up next to him and continues to hold his hand.

“Scout is our fastest flier. He likes delivering important messages. Should I get you some warmer clothes?”

Azriel quickly shakes his head, unaware how stiff his fingers are becoming or how the tip of his nose began reddening ever so slightly. In fact, he felt rather warm, his cheeks deepening due to the mix of sharp wind and his own blush at how openly affectionate Callista was. Perhaps it was in her nature. He noticed several other faeries not shying from the touch of the fae around them. Scout was quick to come, followed by several more faeries, all much more weathered than Callista and himself. She squeezed her his hand before letting go to address them.

“What is this we hear of you leaving?” One of the oldest there began

“No one has ever made it back, Tommin. This is a good sign. We could figure out how to get out of here.”

“We are perfectly fine here.”

“It could be better. Its not to say as if we can never come back.” Azriel studied every elder intensely yet only one seemed nervous. The others all strangely stoic, unworried about one of their own. They didn’t believe she could leave. Tommin continued to angrily speak at Callista. For her own part, she seemed indifferent to his ranting. As if shes used to all the irades around here.

“And if you cant leave? What if you get stuck in some kind of limbo in your attempt to leave?”

“That’s better than being a prisoner.”

“If we cant figure out how to lower the shield I can continue teleporting in. I’ll take as many as I can.” Azriel chimed in hoping to help.

“Not all of us feel the need to leave.”

“Great. Then you wont mind letting the ones go that do want to leave, right?”

“Callista. You have to stay, he can try with anyone else first.” Tommin turned to pleading, Azriel could hear his heartrate increase. He was hiding something. The elders eyes the stranger as the shadows seemed to grow around him, circling him in preparation for escape. Callista couldn’t understand the hesitation with her being the one not being allowed to go. No one had ever stopped her from trying before, why now? With so close of a guarantee. With so close of an answer.

“I’m leaving.” Callista walked back until she reached Azriel, she looked at him and he nodded. Wrapping his arm around his waist.

“Hold on tight,--”

“Callista. Stop!”

“Don’t.”

Several voices began to protest, but Azriel ignored them, “Don’t look.”

His voice was suddenly gravely serious. It was not a request, but a demand. AN order not to look at whatever was about to happen. Callista nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and hiding her face in the crook of his head. Azriel had his arm around her waist, holding her tightly against him. The darkness enveloped them, the screams growing fainter by the second. She remained silent, not daring to hope for anything short of a miracle.  She could only grip tighter, comforted by Azriel’s reassuring squeeze. The shadow traveling literally took her breath away, it was to induce panic inside of her, her stomach seemed to be sinking deeper into her body. Suddenly, everything stopped. Her hair finally falling back down around her. She didn’t move, afraid that when she opened her eyes she would be right back where she started.

Azriel pressed his lips against her temple, trying his best not to overwhelm her, “We’re here.”

Callista releases the air she was holding back in her lungs. Prying herself off of him in disbelief. She immediately wants to rush to the window but Azriel is quick to grab her arm. “What are you doing?”

“Not yet. You remember the friend I told you about? He’s almost here. You have to wait just a little longer. It will be very overwhelming. Believe me, please.”

She knew he was right. It didn’t make things easier but he was right, “How do you know?”

“I have some help.” He smirked, “Stay here, I will have some friends get you some more comfortable clothes. They will lead you down to meet everyone. I would like to show you around, if that’s okay…”

“I’ll wait to sneak a peek.” She pauses as he begins to exit the room she was left in. Callista begins feeling incomplete. Whatever help she had offered him couldn’t compare to what he had done for her. Nothing would ever compare to this. Freedom. She was finally free. The very air she breathed felt different, lighter. “Azriel!”

He freezes, worried she wants to return already. “Is everything okay.”

“Yes…its just…thank you.”

He offered her a smile and slightly bowed his head. Swallowing the lump in his throat as he readied himself to face his friends. His high lord. This was not going to be easy. Everyone was there. Even Gwyn and Emerie had come back.

They all stared as he entered the room. Before Rhysand could even begin questioning Azriel turned to Cassian. “How long?”

“Only a few days this time.”

He breathed a sigh of relief thanking whatever entity was out there that nothing happened while he was gone. It had only been a few days, no wonder the Valkyries were still here. No war, no deaths. Otherwise, Rhysand would have made his presence known immediately. He was still unhappy, but his curiosity got the better of him. That and he was glad that Azriel decided to come back at all.

“We hear you brought a visitor.” Rhysand starts.

“Yes, she will be joining us soon. She’s getting some new clothes. Nuala and Cerridwen are helping her right now.”

“Good, we want to make our guests feel welcome. Right, Rhys?”

He gritted his teeth but agreed, “Of course, Feyre darling. Of course, we still have some questions for her.”

“Are you planning on interrogating her? She has never known anything outside her home. Do you have to do it now?”

“No, he doesn’t.” Nesta said, “You went to get her to learn more about the spell around Velaris. Right? Shes done nothing to warrant an interrogation. We are simply going to meet her. Shes a guest.”

“Why don’t we all eat dinner? We can just meet eachother.” Feyre agreed

“We should ask why the hell she kept him there for months. She could have enchanted you? Are you seriously that dense?” Amren scoffed, “Why cant Rhys use his abilities on her?”

That was news to Azriel. “I told you her whole kingdom was shielded even more heavily than Velaris. It probably extends to the people there.”

“Then you should take us all there.” Amren glared, trying to get a rise out of Azriel. “To be immune from those powers would be very beneficial to our cause, no?”

“And if when we come back the war has come and gone? I was gone for days and when I returned it had been months. I wasn’t even there a full day this last time, and its been days. Callista said it had been years since I had left. Its too big a risk.”

“And the only way there is through Azriel.” Rhys states, “Unfortunately, he is right. But there’s a chance this Callista knows more than she lets on. We will try and figure out how much she knows.”

“Well, where is she?” Mor asks, very clearly annoyed. “Lets get this over with.”

“Get what over with?” Callista walks into the living area, the presence of her magnificent wings drawing gasps from most everyone, Nesta and Mors eyes widened, Cassians mouths dropped, the only one who maintained an uninterested poker face was Rhysand and Amren. Callista for her part was shocked she was the only one among company with wings at all. She stepped beside Azriel, he noticed she wore a soft, pale pastel green dress. It was adorned with flowers: pinks, yellows, and purples to compliment her wings. It flowed out at the skirt, with the sleeves swooping around her shoulders. Her long hair almost flowed to her waist. No one had so effortlessly been born a High Fae. Azriel couldn’t stop staring. She looked as ethereal as the first day he had seen her.

“What?’

“You look lovely.” Azriel said softly, a small smile growing on Callistas face.

“Thank you.” She turned to face everyone else, she slightly curtsied in their direction. “And thank you for having me. I apologize for dropping in so unexpectedly.”

“Lets eat, theres a lot to discuss.” The high lord stands up, “I apologize if this seems like a lot on your first day here.”

“You must be Rhysand. I don’t mind answering any questions. I have nothing to hide.”

Another scoff from Amren, still sitting on the floor, “Yeah. Right.”

This shakes Nesta out of her daze, “I’m Nesta. Will you please join us?”

Everyone stares at the interaction between Callista and Rhysand. Neither of them backing down from each other. Rhysand had no power to keep the newcomer in place. She was a threat. And almost every person there could agree that they would need to watch her. Nesta’s request brings out a dazzling smile from their unexpected guest.

“I would love to. Can I help in any way?”

“The food will be ready by the time we walk into the dining room.” Nesta assured her, “Can I sit by you?”

“Yes, I think I would feel safer that way actually.” This response gets a good laugh out of Gwyn, Emerie, and Cassian. Azriel moves quietly, suddenly feeling like no longer speaking. Exhausted. He made sure to tell Nuala and Cerridwen to ensure all of the curtains were not drawn. Tired as he was, he was anxious to show his world to Callista. He wondered when he would be able to talk to her alone.

“She seems nice, Az.” Feyre whispers as squeezes her arm before joining hands with her own mate. Azriel can hear the hushed ‘be nice,’ she hisses at Rhysand. Azriel stops when Cassian holds him back behind everyone.

“Don’t let them treat her like Nesta. I failed her. A lot. I’m still trying to make it up to her. But…just—don’t do what I did.”

“I won’t.” He realizes he doesn’t protest at the implications that Callista was his Nesta. This was not the time. Azriel decides to sit next to Rhys after seeing the other seat next to Callista. Amren was across from her, studying or glaring the entire time. Almost unblinking.

“So, Callista. How did you get Azriel to stay away for so long? Did he hurt himself that badly?” Mor asked in her most saccharine voice

“His wings were not in the best shape. He was asleep for several days. We didn’t want to rush the healing process or have it healed in correctly. He left the same day he woke up. But time does move differently where I come from.”

“And how would you know that? If you supposedly cant leave?”

Callista’s eyes seem to water for a split second, “I told Azriel once that we had a man stay with us for years. More than a decade. My friend he…he fell in love with him. One day the man became frantic, worried about his wife. A wife we had no idea existed. He left that day, but my friend demanded he write him. That he respond to a letter that would find him when he was home. According to one of the letters, when he returned only a week has passed. No one had even begun to worry about him. He had aged and his wife doubted he was the same person who had left for whatever battle he had gone to fight. The second time my friend sent a letter, it took him too long. He sent a long confession against our conservations. Three days passed…When we got a reply it was from a man claiming to be the son of the man who had found us. He had died three years prior. We never sent any more letters. I cannot claim to understand how time seems to move so curiously.”

“Did he fall through the sky too?” Amren  pouted her lips as she asked, Azriel clenched his fists at her unnecessary cruelness.

“No. He was not fae. He was a human. Washed up in one of the riverbanks. We never know how they get there, nor how they leave. Except Azriel no one has come back to let us know personally. Up until he came back, I half guessed that letter was just a way of letting  my friend down easily.” Not once did she seem even slightly bothered by the questions, impressing almost everyone and infuriating the main instigator.

“So, what do you know?” Amren pressed

“Enough.” Azriel voice cut through like a knife, “This is not an interrogation. Let her eat.”

“Its alright. I suppose it all does seem strange. But its all I know. All I’ve known. But if you plan on questioning me, I deserve the same courtesy, correct? Or are the people in this circle you speak of the only ones allowed to speak?”

“Wh—” Amren is about to begin yelling but Callista refuses to be talked over

“I’ll even ask the same questions. Where are you from? How did you get there? What do you know about that world? Please, I’m very curious.” She is only staring at Amren as if she knows exactly what Amren is. She is about to respond but Callista almost immediately turns to Mor, “And you, you claim I enchanted him? Could I not ask you the same? Why have you kept him so close after seeing the pain he was in, keeping him close enough to get his hopes up?”

Mor lips tightens as she suddenly stabs some food on her plate with her fork. Callista shrugs and begins eating. Cassian can only stare in shock, his hand covers his mouth. Hoping it stops him from saying some joke that would get either lady from the inner circle angry at him. Nesta and the Valkyries share a look, Elain is silent, never looking up from her plate.

“Ignore them Callista, I do.” Nesta said as she continued eating. “Emerie, tell me. Hows the business going at the Ilyrian camp? Is your uncle still bothering you? Should we just take care of him?”

“Oh Gods, no. Not yet. They cant do much anymore. What with Cassian constantly checking on the camp and making sure everyone is at least being respectful.” The conversation continues for a while to give the poor girl a chance to recover before more questions inevitably came her way. Soon after everyone introduced themselves and how they met eachother. Callista stored everything to memory, determined to show them that at the very least, she was polite enough to genuinely care. And she asked as many questions as she could. Their stories were interesting and it was nice to hear literally anything new after a lifetime of hearing the same stories over and over. Callista worried she would have to go back. She could never go back, not now that she knew there was so many things that were possible. She hoped Azriel would finally allow her to take a look at the world so far away from her own.

Azriel remained silent. Watching to ensure everything goes smoothly. Rhysand only asks one question, “Callista, Azriel said the magic surrounding your home was stronger than anything he had seen. What kind of magic protects it?”

“If I knew I would have figured out a way to remove it. My magic mainly lies in healing, and I can hide things quite well. Azriel called it a glamour? But I assume you’re asking because you also want to try and figure out why you cannot do the mind reading thing I’ve heard about. I don’t know why something would protect me from that.”

Azriels eyes shoot up at her. The words were deliberate. She was not lying but omitting very key details. She takes another bite of food and smirks at him flipping her hair to one side, a gleam of gold flashes ever so slightly. She had come prepared. Somehow, Syra had given her some kind jewelry to prevent Rhysand from spying on her private thoughts. The silence around them is almost deafening, only the sounds of silverware scraping echoes through the room.

Azriel lightly cleared his throat, “Well. This was great but if you’ll excuse me. I did promise Callista I would show her around for a bit.”

She couldn’t stand up any quicker, “Can we?”

“Az, you should start at the training pad.” Nesta nods in the general direction before standing up herself, “We will have to talk more tomorrow, Callista.”

“I’d like that.” Callista smiled warmly and wrapped her arm around Azriels as they exited the room.

Nesta returned the smile and grabbed Emerie and Gwyn, simply leaving the dinner and the guests that imposed themselves on it. Cassian only cleared his throat, “Well…that’s that.”

“She was nice.” Feyre tried to continue some sort of discussion

“Sure.” Mor scoffed and crossed her arms.

“Because you were so warm and inviting?” Cassian joked

“Wasn’t I?” She rolled her yes but smiled at her friend, she knew she didn’t make it easy on either of the Ilyrians special ‘friends.’ She wondered how long they were all going to ignore how close the two had become acquainted. Or if they were going to bring it up. She still didn’t like the outsider, but she could respect Callista standing up for herself.

“I don’t trust her.” Amren crosses her arms.

“You don’t trust anyone.” Feyre said, “No one can be trusted with information as far as your concerned. I think you’ve been wrong before. With me and Nesta.”

“I wasn’t wrong.”

“We’ll keep an eye on her.” Rhysand stood, “We will give them a couple days before we ask her to try and figure out the spell.”

“What if she wants to stay with him?” Cassian asked a little too seriously

“We will discuss that when it comes to that.”

“He’ll never forgive you if you don’t let her stay. He will leave.” Cassian stared down his brother, and got a nod in response before he headed out with Feyre and Elain. The latter still silent, still analyzing tonights events.

➽───────────────❥

Azriel led Callista to the stairway up to the training pad, stopping right before they headed outside. “You have one?”

“Yes. Syra made one for me right after you left. I haven’t taken it off since.” She pulled hers out, the metal string holding the small circular gem that almost looked too thin. As if touching it would cause it to crumble. The gem also looked completely different. It was a blinding white, that seemed to glow as she held it up. As if a star had been captured in the small circle. Azriel pulled his own out to compare, still pitch black. He could swear something was moving inside of his but quickly put it back. Not wanting to over think anything else right now.

“Ready?”

“Yes.” She takes a deep breath as Azriel opens the door. Her mouth drops at the endless sea of stars. How he ever let her go on about her home being beautiful at night when this is what he fell asleep to should be criminal. She must have looked so foolish. She didn’t care. She would owe him the rest of her existence. Azriel could only stare at her. The stars shining in her eyes, he could only hope she would allow him to be the one who would show her the rest of Prythian.

“Our home is most beautiful at night too.”

“Theres no comparison. I cant believe you kept a straight face.” She laughed and reached for his hand, “They look so close.”

He doesn’t hesitate this time, only takes her hand as she walks closer to the edge of the pad. “Have you ever flown with this much space?”

“No.” She says, completely shocked by her own lack of realization, “But I’m about to.” She squeezes his hand before running to the end and jumping off the mountain. Azriel has a moment of panic before she flies back up, laughing at how far free her wings could spread. Not having to worry about the thicket of trees possibly stopping or snagging her wings. She had become quite adept in maneuvering around all of the obstacles in her home. The lack of obstacles made her giddy. Absolutely filled with a joy she could have never imagined.

Cassian, Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie eventually joined Azriel out on the training pad. Nesta stepped beside him, “Why aren’t you flying with her?” She hissed under her breath.

I don’t want to bother her, Azriel thought before Callista landed before them. “Fly with me! Is there anyway we can take Nesta and Gwyn?”

“Actually I cant.” Emerie said taking a step back.

“I’m sorry, I didn—”

“No! I would love to but… I haven’t been able to for a while.” She turned to show her clipped Ilyrian wings. Callista’s face grew serious

“Who did that to you.”

“My father. Hes gone now, but…”

“But nothing. Do you miss it? The flying?” Nesta was ready to yell at her for pushing her friend but Cassian put his hand on her, gesturing for her to wait.

“Everyday.” Emerie replied

Callista turned to Azriel, “Be ready to catch me, okay?”

She walked up to Emery, placing one of her hands on her wing, and one on her arm. “Wh-what are you doing?”

Callista didn’t answer. She began murmuring under her breath, her own wings glowing a soft pink. Emerie’s own wings seemed to glow. Her head whipped back and forth as she tried to make sense of what was happening. She suddenly let out a gasp, a slight moan leaving her lips as her eyes grew wide.

“Emerie!” Gwyn and Nesta cried

Callista released and took a shaky breath before stepping backwards. Everyone rushed towards Emerie before she spread out her wings. Nesta took a step back as her friend fully stretched her wings, not a hint of pain in sight. Gwyn immediately had her arms wrapped around her friends neck, still in disbelief that her wings felt whole again. Azriel could only stare in shock as everyone inspected Emeries wings. Cassian began asking him how it was even possible. He couldn’t answer. This kind of healing was unheard of. It was impossible to heal clipped wings. It should be impossible. He opened his mouth to ask her how she learned this kind of magic, how long would it last, did she ever have to do this before?

The shadows half whispered half screamed at him to pay attention, his head whipped to see Callista losing consciousness and falling to the ground.

Taglist: @bubybubsters @mich0731 @azziessidehoe @cleverzonkwombatsludge

#acotar #acotar imagine #acotar fic #azriel shadowsinger #Azriel #azriel acotar #azriel x you #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #acotar azriel #Azriel acotar imagine #acotar azriel imagine

[rosalineandrosemary]

penance on her tongue

nsfw warning! not incredibly graphic but also still somewhat graphic.

imagine clorinde, fresh out of killing someone she cares about, fresh out of killing navia’s father, trying to reach out to her, trying to take care of her the way she was begged to, the way she promised to. she tries to make things better for her, to protect her, and all she gets is navia’s tears and anger. and clorinde gets it, she does, because to navia she is not clorinde, she is her father’s murderer.

so clorinde backs off, does what she can from the shadows, tries not to force navia to see her. and somehow, she ends up in navia’s bed. blonde hair splayed across the pillow, the taste of her arousal on clorinde’s tongue, echoes of moans in her ears and the scratch of navia’s nails against her skull. and maybe this will make it better. maybe this will fix something.

maybe if she can’t take care of navia properly she can take care of navia like this. and so it happens again and again. navia takes clorinde to her bed, tells her that this won’t happen again (lies, all lies), and lets clorinde eat her out until she’s spilling all over the sheets. and then clorinde leaves, a sated navia falling asleep in her own bed and clorinde walking home with an aching cunt.

clorinde loves navia. she’ll do whatever she can to make things better for her. but some things are too far. there is no penance to be found in her own pleasure so she doesn’t ask navia for anything, and navia doesn’t offer. until she does.

navia starts slipping her hands in clorinde’s clothes, grasping at her chest or trying to rock her knee in between clorinde’s legs. this is new. this is unfamiliar and it’s new and why would navia want to please her? why would navia care for the pleasure of her father’s killer? clorinde is here to take care of navia, and she loves her, but she’s never been deluded enough to think that that care would ever be reciprocated.

but clorinde lets it happen, lets navia take what she wishes, whether it be clorinde disrobing or clorinde kissing her or navia putting her hands between clorinde’s thighs. navia can do as she wishes, even though clorinde knows she would never truly want her like this. navia can do as she wishes, even as it tears clorinde apart.

the traveler arrives, brilliant and golden in the same way navia is (in the same way clorinde is not). and clorinde watches navia saddle up besides them, watches her smile and call them partner and work together, and clorinde thinks it is time for the curtain to close. the sentence is complete, the penance isn’t paid but it can’t be, and it’s time for clorinde to fade back into the shadows. navia is destined for something better than being touched by hands coated in her father’s blood. navia is brilliant and golden and kind and she helps people in the way clorinde has never been able to.

navia does not invite clorinde to her bed. not after the trial with lyney and lynette, not after their magic show, not after clorinde saves her life in the street. she doesn’t before the trial, before she accuses her father’s true murderer, before any of it. not after any of it either, clorinde notices. of course she notices. the curtain is drawn, the guilty are to be punished, and the innocent get to move on. clorinde is guilty, and navia gets to move on.

she does not expect her testimony to change much. callas may have wanted death, may have embraced it, may have wanted her to protect his daughter, but that does not erase his blood on her hands. she does not expect anything, especially now that navia has eclipsed her. the sun can always shine by itself, and the moon is damned to its reflection. the story is always told the same way.

that is, until it isn’t. that is, until the traveler walks away, the murderer dead on the street, and navia doesn’t follow. that is, until navia approaches her for once, until navia takes her to a meal, until navia is in clorinde’s bed. navia has never been in clorinde’s bed. the sheets are pure white but stained with blood nonetheless, and navia is far too clean to be here. but she is, and she is kissing clorinde and she is apologizing. why is she apologizing? what apologies can she have for the woman who killed her father? but navia is apologizing anyway and clorinde is trying to apologize too but all of her words are interrupted by the plush skin of navia’s lips.

but navia notices clorinde’s hesitance, notices the way her hands do not touch her, and stops. they’re both barely clothed and navia is gorgeous and clorinde is ruined and “clorinde, you have nothing to apologize for. clorinde, i was unimaginably harsh towards you. clorinde, thank you for trying.” and clorinde cries. barely dressed and in her own bed and with the most beautiful girl she’s ever known sitting naked in front of her, she cries. and navia kisses her, soft and sweet and starts putting their clothes back on, putting clorinde’s arms back through her shirt and taking clorinde’s jacket for her own, and navia sits next to her and holds her hand. and she speaks in soft words as clorinde cries for the first time since she became a duelist, the first time in years, navia tracing patterns on the back of her hand and talking about games she heard the children playing and performances she’s seen in the street. eventually clorinde stops crying, and navia takes her by the hand, brings her to the kitchen. she pulls barely used ingredients out of clorinde’s kitchen, almond flour and eggs and cream of tartar, and they are half dressed in clorinde’s neglected kitchen when navia apologizes again, when navia tells clorinde that there is nothing she has to repay anymore. clorinde is not guilty, and navia is not innocent

and navia pulls her signature macarons out of the oven and she shoos clorinde onto a chair and sits down opposite her.

clorinde is not guilty, and navia is not innocent; so maybe they can be human together.

#genshin impact #genshin navia #genshin clorinde #clorivia #clorinde x navia #genshin impact fanfics #nsft #smut #angst #sorry for posting smut on main i just am thinking about them #rosaline writes