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#sheev palpatine
shapelytimber · 1 day
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Happy lesbian visibility week <3
The one week of the year I am being perceived (that's a lie, I am aggressively a lesbian irl. No one can look at me and think I am anything else) ! To celebrate, here is a compilation of what have been slowly taking other my mind these past few months : my star wars sapphic au :)
It's silly, it's inconsistent, it's made for me to have fun drawing women ! So here is every piece of art I made for it until this point, enjoy !
(A lot of them are available as prints on my inprint)
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As always, the Palpatine and Dooku designs were made by Stagbeetleboy :) these are his designs
Here is a link to every og posts :
Disco maul
The anime wives
Butch4femme Hanleia
Blood hound
How to woo a countess
Fem Obi-wan sketches
t4t obimaul hooking up
Maul should have been at the club
Girls night out
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fellthemarvelous · 2 days
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Palpatine got Anakin in the great Jedi divorce but he was never able to get Anakin to stop obsessing over Obi-Wan which probably drove Palpatine crazy because all of Palpatine's apprentices ended up having a personal beef with exactly one bitchy little ray of sunshine.
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fanfic-obsessed · 1 day
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The Force
This is another, ‘the Force is fucking with us right?’ Kind of idea that I feel like makes up about half my ideas. 
It starts just after Obi Wan Kenobi is beheaded on the death star. The Millenium Falcon has just exited the Death Star but has not jumped to hyperspace yet. The alarms have not quite rung when two things happen that derail the entire sequence of events. 
First Obi Wan Kenobi and Cody (who had been on Alderaan when it was vaporized) appear, from apparently nowhere in front of Luke, Leia, and Han. They look like they did at the beginning of the Clone War (Obi Wan is still only just recognizable as Old Ben). The second is that Alderaan (and Scarif) reappeared, completely undamaged (I just want you to picture, for a moment, the operators and techs of the Death Star or anyone looking out of one of the viewports where the Planet they just vaporized-with all the detritus that entailed- reappeared unharmed).  Though it was not known right away every single victim of the Empire from the Purge forward (including the Clones) have reappeared, spread out throughout Alderaan. 
Every single one of them have all their memories up to their deaths. Those that had been dead for more than a month also have some idea of what has happened since their death (taking into account age, mindset, and how traumatic the knowledge would be for them).
Everyone is still very confused. 
On the Millenium Falcon, they do not jump to hyperspace because they are too busy gawking at the two men that just appeared (and everyone on board, barring the formerly dead men, is asking themselves some version of -does The Force work like that?). Then they notice that there suddenly is a planet where there had been a debris field. 
Feeling more than a little bewildered, Han hesitantly begins to fly toward the planet and in the background CodyWan reunites after twenty years of believing the other was dead.  They are guided to the Royal landing pad by a few shaken techs who will be asking for a vacation and a raise.
Onboard the Death Star, the low level techs consider if they should call Darth Vader? Should they call the Emperor? Fire again (It would take time for the weapon to charge and no one is really sure a second shot would do anything if the planet was reconstituted the first time)?
Vader is still down in the hallways of the ship, feeling anticlimactic victory over Obi Wan’s robes and well away from any viewport when suddenly the Force is feeling much…fuller? Then it had been a few moments before.  The screaming that had been deafening since Alderaan’s destruction quieted and the crying he had been perceiving since killing the younglings had ebbed. 
On of the comm techs hesitantly (so hesitantly, their speech was all full of all umms and errrs and they really hope that they do not piss Darth Vader enough for him to hunt the tech down-it would not be the first time something like that had happened) tells him that there was a Padme Amidala calling from the planet demanding to talk to him.
Vader manages to get out that she should be patched through. A large part of him is going PADME!!!!!!! A smaller part is going ‘there’s no planet here any longer?’
The conversations start with Padme going “ANAKIN NO MIDDLE NAME SKYWALKER” in a very pissed off tone. It does not get better for Vader from there.
This is not the same Padme at the end of ROTS, who had gotten so caught up in being in a romance novel that she was smacked in the face with the third act twist of it turning into a horror story.  This version of Padme has been watching for twenty years exactly what Anakin was doing, separated from her need to see the best in him. She is closer to her TPM self, and absolutely livid at Fascism done in her name. Padme is also, to her reckoning, back from the dead, about to meet her children for the first time, and possibly immortal (after what just happened…who knows). 
Somehow Padme’s entire rant is broadcast throughout the Death Star. None of the stormtroopers know who this person is but they have a deep instinctual need to surrender (Even Tarkin does not recognize Padme after 20 years). 
The Millenium Falcon lands on Alderaan. Leia grabs her parents and holds on, before anyone can say anything.  Luke sees Owen and Beru (also brought back, and to Alderaan) and does the same.  Obi Wan and Cody are off to one side holding each other (Obi Wan is basking in the Force being lighter than it has in 2 decades-though he does not know that rest of the Jedi are also back). Han hovering off to one side awkwardly.
Padme comes storming out, having just finished her…conversation with Anakin. Obi Wan jolted (being the only person currently paying attention who would recognize Padme-Also Bail and Breha had already had the ‘oh that kind of back from the dead’ realization). Padme strode right up to Obi wan and slapped him upside the head ‘that is for getting decapitated before telling my kids they were siblings’ then she hugged him. 
After a long period of time, Luke and Leia separate enough from their adoptive parents to meet their mother. Also getting to realize that they were siblings. 
After the current reuniting, and uniting, is over Padme says ‘Oh, Anakin will be coming down shortly, he has some things he needs to say’.
Obi Wan, the only other person who knows exactly who Anakin Skywalker is, goes ‘Padme…that may not be a good idea’
Padme gives a smile that could also double as a threat display, though not aimed at anyone present. ‘You need not worry, Obi Wan, Anakin will be spending the rest of his life making up for what he has done.’
For the first time Obi Wan considers that cutting off Anakin's limbs and leaving him to burn on the bank of a lava river was actually kinder than letting him face the full fury of Padme Amidala. 
He did manage to communicate exactly who Anakin Skylwaker is. Thankful, at least, that Padme was there for the ‘Our father is Whom???’ Padme does reassure Leia that she did not have to be there and confront the person who tortured her and blew up her planet, but Anakin does owe them all at least one Apology. Leia promptly decides she would be there.
It is an Awkward set of meetings, not the least of which is because Mace Windu comes through with some of the formally murdered younglings (who all knew what they would be facing and wanted to confront their murderer). Vader (and he is still mostly Vader) is not sure why Padme Amidala is intimidating him, but he is going with it.
At some point someone brings up the Emperor. Padme makes that same smile, the threat display, and says that Palpatine should probably start running before she got to him. Far away Palpatine felt a chill along his spine…something had just gone very wrong.
There will be time to deal with the new metric ton of trauma. Seriously there are types of trauma that had never existed that they would have to develop therapy for. There are people to find places for that have been dead for twenty years.   There is still an Empire to dismantle.
But for now there is a man who is arguably the second most evil person in the galaxy awkwardly apologizing to his daughter (unknown) for torturing her and blowing up her planet, her adoptive parents for blowing them up, a slew of children he murdered, as well as an entire planets worth of people (many of whom he owes a very personal apology-also probably some kind of compensation), with his 5’3” formerly dead wife looking on. 
Even the Force has no idea how we got here.
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galactic-rhea · 20 hours
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So Vader and Palpatine are like Frankestein and his monster, but instead of being horrorized by his creation, Palpatine is mildly disappointed that Vader isn't even more evil and cool 🤔
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jewishcissiekj · 3 days
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long-awaited sequel to this
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terapsina · 1 year
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Please explain your reasoning in the tags and may the Force be with you.
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gherkinlizard · 10 days
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poor dude,,just misses his wife is all
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stealingpotatoes · 8 days
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Ahsoka deserves to bite Palpatine
SHE DOES!!
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(donation doodles! // tip jar)
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phoenixkaptain · 1 year
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I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.
I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.
Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.
Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.
Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.
I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?
Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.
Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.
Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.
Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.
If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—
There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!
Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.
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stagbeetleboy · 2 months
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YAYYYY SHEEV!
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grandkhan221b · 11 months
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Still on my clone wars bullshit
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sk0rbut · 1 year
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if my parents had named me sheev i’d be evil too honestly
this is just what happens when you don’t pay your workers the fact that your boss was a sith is just a lucky coincidence
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gffa · 2 years
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Every time I think about, “Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend.” I start laughing because IT HAPPENED LIKE TWELVE YEARS AGO and THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE WERE SIDIOUS AND PLAGUEIS like there’s no way for the Jedi to even know this story existed, it’s not a millennia old tale, it was INCREDIBLY RECENT and they were Sith Lords IN HIDING, yet Palpatine just says that entire story with his whole chest like Anakin’s never going to go go the Jedi and say, “Hey, what’s up with never telling me about that Sith Legend Darth Plagueis?” so the Jedi can go “who the fuck is Darth Plagueis????” and Palpatine is RIGHT, Anakin’s brain is just like a hamster on a squeaky wheel, “oh okay I don’t know enough to tell if that’s true or not but I’m just gonna believe it”.  ABOUT A STORY THAT HAPPENED A DECADE AGO, NOT SOME ANCIENT HISTORY.  The absolute gall of Sheev Palpatine, there will never be another villain like him, he’s the bestworst.
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ventresses · 6 months
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Star Wars: The Clone Wars (7/?)
Star Wars + Text Posts & Headlines
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risingmoonyue · 10 months
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AU in which the chancellor dies in a freak (probably Zillo-beast related) accident. Everyone is attending his funeral and really, the Jedi are trying really hard to mourn but it’s incredibly difficult to when the entirety of the coruscant guard is apparently throwing a mental and spiritual party so loud in the Force Dathomir can feel it.
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jekyllnahyena · 17 days
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Give it some time Fox, he's trying his best
more dumb doodles in the Fox is the fav and thus has somehow ended up with an allpowerful evil grandpa
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