#its not one of those things that can point to one defining event or trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mdhwrites · 8 months

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Thank you for defending Amphibia S3A!!! You don't know how many times I've had to read people saying that Anne should've had an angst arc like Luz did in TOH over what happened in True Colors. That kind of take completely ignores that a.) Anne is her own character who responds to things differently (by compartmentalizing and trying to fix what she can), b.) Amphibia was trying to preserve its essential Amphibia-ness and not become a dreary angst-fest, and c.) Luz's arc wasn't even good lol so why compare it to that? I think there are a couple story things that could've been streamlined in 3A but overall it is a perfectly good entry into Amphibia canon and it wasn't "filler" or "pointless" by any means. (P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts on Commander Anne since I also think that's a really strong episode!)🦎

Send me another ask about Commander Anne because that is one of the episode fragments in Amphibia actually dense enough for me to talk about on its own. For now, I'm actually carjacking this ask to talk about trauma reaction in fiction using Anne, Sasha, HOP POP and Luz with Hop Pop and Luz being the extremes you need to avoid and then talking about both where Anne falls and why she's so good.

Though with any discussion of this, I do actually just want to quickly mention that I did a whole teaching blog a good long while back about Fantasy Trauma and why Luz's just plain sucks. I'm not going to talk about the event here but more the reaction but I still think it's worth mentioning that fantasy trauma like what happens to these characters is a trope in and of itself.

Also, welcome Amphibia fans, I like to use asks as a way to teach and your show lets me be POSITIVE while teaching for once which is a nice change of pace... But let's start with the bad.

Or let's start with some defining. See whenever you have a major event happen in your story, there's a pendulum of reaction. On both ends of the pendulum, you have equally bad reactions to it but in different ways. Those ends where either:

A: You don't react at all. Despite the fact that the event should have had an effect on you, you're seeming to be mostly fine and yourself. It often can make the character come off as callous or stunted in some way if they just don't even seem to be needing to cope with it in someway. Stuff like Sprig focusing on being a part of the family and Polly focusing on Frobo stop them from quite getting to this extreme because they're more genuinely interacting with the new world they're in and their problems. Hop Pop is the problem one here but we'll get to it.

B: You ONLY react to the ONE event. The rest of the story and your character DON'T MATTER now. You are only your angst arc. This actually works well for VILLAINS because the single minded obsession and refusal of logic is actually usually useful for justifying them going to such extremes. The problem comes when a character should theoretically know better, the level of reaction is unwarranted or you can point out that they're just wangsting (whine/angsting) because they have sunshine and rainbows around them they're blatantly ignoring. This is Luz's side of the problem.

This is technically an Amphibia ask though so let's start with Hop Pop. For some very, very minor proof I'm not a contrarian: Hollywood Hop Pop is easily the worst half episode in S3A. There's something to be said about there being about two episodes before the mid-season finale that are kind of janky. The problem isn't just with Hollywood Hop Pop.

Hop Pop has a lot of internal issues with danger, change and worry. A new world should panic him in some way. This is actually the greatest sin of Hollywood Hop Pop because the lesson from that one feels at best like an over correction to... The majority of S2A's characterization of Hop Pop. Similarly goes to him just enjoying being a house guest. Even if yes, this is his adopted daughter, he should have an episode segment dedicated to being worried about the new world they're in, trying to protect Polly and Spring, etc. like that, especially since his old world just turned inside out. SOME sort of reaction would be warranted... And we don't get it.

Instead we get him being overly trusting and thus getting scammed, his stuff about making the Boonchuys hating him is good but it's entirely disconnected from the trauma you would expect of the character and then he honestly takes the BIGGEST risk of them all, even using his actual name instead of a codename like Sprig does for Spider Sprig.

It genuinely feels like he is treating coming here like a vacation, not helped by that explicitly being a part of one of his episode segments and that's bad.

So what's the good version of this side of the pendulum? Well, if this side represents underselling the reaction to trauma, the good version is subtlety and that's what we get with Anne and it's done really well. It mostly is in the first couple episodes in S3A when the wounds are most fresh which makes sense. As she processes it privately, she can return more and more to who she was.

The biggest thing here is that Anne is overloading herself. She is burning out from the second Andrias stabs Marcy. Not even once she's home, but even by the final trauma having just been overloaded. She's 13 after all. 15 if you want to go off of what seems to have been the original intent for her and the rumors that Disney forced the trio to be younger.

A 13 year old CAN handle death. They CAN'T handle seeing one of their BEST FRIENDS die and the other one likely doing so too, let alone right after she assumed her third best friend also died, even if he didn't. True Colors is a TIME for Anne. Anne is a very simple girl after all. Stakes like these are not what she is capable of even processing at that point. She's never seen anything that bad.

And her trying to recap and summarize it shows it EXPERTLY. Even trying to actually think about what just happened tires her out and has her constantly having to correct herself because she doesn't want to admit that not only is she powerless, it's also too much for her to handle on her own. And that's WITHOUT acknowledging the high probability of her friends being dead, something that was on her mind since her reaction to seeing Sasha is disbelief/relief that she's ALIVE.

Then there's the other elements where Anne is the one pushing research the hardest, the fact that she's brushing other things off to find answers that will make her less powerless, her protectiveness of those around her and then yeah, the one episode segment that has her burnt out and dead tired because she's working herself to the bone.

And this is all in character with Anne's arc. She's grown to do things. To want to help. To not just coast through life and just as she was getting used to the idea of that... She now can't do anything. So we see her doing what she can which is just not a lot.

Alright, let's move on to the other side of the pendulum though. I often talk about Luz in the second half of The Owl House as "In her angst arc" because that's how it feels. She may as well have put on a dark brown hoodie, flattened her hair and declared everything sucked. None of her optimism, none of her enthusiasm, little of her care and complete distrust of EVERYONE.

OH WAIT THEY DID THAT! They made her as close to her BETA design for S3 Ep1 as possible to finish out that miserable attitude for her. And I'm not going to say all of it is unwarranted. Just like Hop Pop caring about being a good house guest is in character, Luz getting more serious to match the stakes of the show is theoretically a good thing. It needed more of a real transition (Hi Commander Anne as a good example of this) but there is a nugget of a good concept in it.

One that's stabbed repeatedly by never letting it end or be affected by anything. Stuff she'll say to Eda and King she will act like will kill her if she tells literally anyone else no matter how much more justified it is for her to be honest to them, she CONSTANTLY lies to the point where she breaks her word several times and part of why Amity theoretically likes her is just GONE and then we get the theoretical conclusion to it which is "I want to be understood."

When the fuck haven't you been? This is the true crime of this side of the pendulum. Part of the reaction requires the character to entirely forget and actively ignore the actions around her. Those friends who have constantly forgiven you and backed you up? Didn't understand. That supposed found family who constantly told you you weren't at fault and to take care of yourself? Didn't understand. Your mom, who supported your interested until you backed her into a corner by accidentally assaulting people, including your principal, with wild animals? Never. Understood. You.

And even then, she still doesn't break out of it after the first TWO times in S3 where she is forgiven and she makes a statement about moving on. She just throws a dreamstate pity party and doubts herself until GOD tells her she has never done anything wrong in her life.

It's too long, the resolutions are too contrite or eye rolling for the amount of time and pain spent with it and they also rarely have anything to actually do with the trauma itself. It feels like the character is reacting to something BAD rather than something SPECIFIC which robs it of its bite just as badly as not reacting to it at all. And that's if it even feels like the character and Luz in the second half of TOH, especially S3, just doesn't feel like Luz. Period.

You know who does feel like herself? Sasha. By the time S3B comes around, she's had to deal with too much to really still be dealing with the trauma (and she still is to some extent with her constantly worrying about her relationship with Anne, obsession with second chances, etc. like that but that's more rounding out her arc to me) so it's really just her one segment in S3A that needs to be examined.

Except we actually have to roll back first. All the way back to Reunion. Sasha's reaction to this all starts with the end of Reunion. That moment when, just for a second, she decides Anne is worth more than herself. That "maybe you'd be better off without me," and letting go. S2 handles the fact that Sasha dying actually made a REALLY bad inner conflict for her, let alone once news of Marcy being fine without her too got to her, but that's the fun of character arcs. They SHOULDN'T be a smooth curve. *coughs at Amity and Hunter*

Keeping on track though, we have Sasha not only facing the end of her at her most powerful but also the potential end of her friendships. She betrayed Anne again and while they fought together, that was for survival, where are they now? Worse yet, Marcy almost died in front of her and she was POWERLESS. All that talk of trying to do things so they all could be happy, that she knew best... It was all ash.

So she at first doesn't know what she's doing. She emotional and ready to lash out but she doesn't know what her target is. She just knows part of it is her fault and unlike in S2, she can't ignore it now. It haunts her until Anne shows Sasha what having been a good friend could have gotten her. What they could have been.

And so now, it's time to make good on her word. To become a protector and try to see a bit more in people than she assumes. This is ALL a reaction to True Colors primarily. It is addressing it all VERY bluntly minus Marcy's lie (I have complicated feelings on Marcy at this point) but it's still working within the frame of the character. This is still Sasha and we know enough about her to genuinely follow her train of thought while also getting to enjoy the character we have grown attached to. She isn't gone... But she's changing and if this side of the pendulum represents replacement as its bad extreme, change and introspection like what Sasha goes through is the good medium ground.

I want to finish this by saying that you CAN use the extremes well. Someone reacting to a teammate's death with indifference can genuinely turn a character who seemed a little cold to being seen as callous or like they believe the ends justify the means, no matter the sacrifice. Someone letting an event consume them can actually be a great start to an arc where the point is to criticize their reaction, instead of trying to invoke sympathy through it. That they are going too far and letting this be too much of who they and they need to find balance. They need to properly introspect. These are not hard rules by any means but there is a spectrum. A pendulum.

And as always, the best thing a writer can do is recognize where on that pendulum they're writing and use it as best as they can.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #luz #amphibia critical #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #hop pop plantar

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awellreadmannequin · 11 months

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Some thoughts about Genshin and yuri

In formulating a formal definition of yuri for a paper I’m writing, I’ve come to realize that there are a bunch of relationships between the ladies of Teyvat that are classic yuri. So I spent an hour writing about the history of yuri, the thematic traits of the genre, and some gay little ships.

As a quick explainer for the uninitiated, contemporary yuri follows from a tradition of homoerotic literature called ‘Class S’ which has its modern origins in stories about ‘romantic friendship’ between girls at all-girls boarding schools in the late Meiji and Taishō eras (1900-1925ish). A defining theme of these stories is distance. This theme manifests in unrequited love, relationships cut short by illness, death, or growing up and graduating school, and through the depth of time between the narration and the events being narrated. Another common distances is that between senpai and kouhai or teacher and student. Of course, there is also a distance between the sacred garden of the girls’ school wherein homoerotic love can blossom and the cruelty of the real world in which it is forbidden. This distance creates both immense yearning and immense suffering as the girls in question grapple with the need to be together and their inability to close the distance (Suzuki 2006).

Class S tends to focus on tragic loves that are brought to a premature end, while contemporary yuri is much more willing to resolve in a happy ending. However, what has remained unchanged is the commitment to thematic distance. citrus is chalk full of distances that the characters feel they can’t cross from the sudden imposition of a familial relationship to the distance between class president and delinquent to the distance created by not being comfortable to ask your girlfriend for sex. Bloom Into You is focused on the distance between the private self and the socially constructed self, between physical attraction and romantic affection, and between two girls who cannot honestly communicate their needs because they do not yet understand themselves enough. And Sweet Blue Flowers, a modern classic of the genre, plays on many of the same themes of Class S with a more contemporary recognition that many of the girls who those stories depicted didn’t stop being attracted to women when they graduated school. As Fumi would put it, they’re simply “that kind of girl.”

So all of this is to say that to say that a yuri ship is distinct from your typical f/f ship. To be yuri the defining feature of the character’s textual relationship must be distance. There are a few Genshin ships that fit this bill, some more so than others, so I’ve compiled a list below complete with a tiered ranking system. Depending on how much time I have this summer, I may write some elaborations on my reasoning for why I think each pair can be considered yuri. (Minor spoilers ahead, I guess)

S Tier - Explicit, textual tension caused by distance

Ei x Miko - Honestly, Miko pointing out the sky changed when Ei noticed her in the Plane of Euthymia is some of the most classic yuri shit I’ve ever seen

Eula x Amber - Eula’s whole character is wrapped up in feeling distanced from the rest of Mondstadt and Amber’s whole character is about bridging distances between people

A Tier - Implicit distance that’s still pretty obvious if you think about it

Ganyu x Keqing - This one is a bit more subtle, but it’s the distance caused by a difference with bonus points for the distance of social status and age

Collei x Amber - See above for Amber’s thing plus Collei’s whole edgy teen plus chronic illness trauma plus social awkwardness

Dehya x Candace - Candace rarely leaves Aaru Village while Dehya rarely stays in one place, yet they’re always thinking of each other… classic yuri behaviour

Ei x Sara - Depending on your read of the characters, this can be the distance between monarch and retainer, deity and supplicant, or both

Ningguang x Beidou - This one is both physical distance like Dehya x Candace with the added spice of an obvious difference in rank that, if you read between the lines, has come between two women of mean birth

Kokomi x Sara - The most obvious source of distance is that they were enemies until very recently, but there’s also an immense difference between who each is in public and who each is in private that of bridged would give them lots to relate about

B Tier - Implicit distance that requires some reading into the text

Mona x Fischl - This is a distance created by personalities, but one that’s mostly left implied due to how obviously close they’ve become in game

Rosaria x Barbara - Oh man, there’s so much going on here that I can’t do them justice right now

Jean x Lisa - I waffled on where to put this, but settled on C Tier because I think it’s at this level that we get the most interesting versions of this ship based on the distance created by Jean overworking herself and her, ahem, stoic demeanour

C Tier - Dubiously canon, but fun to think about

Shenhe x Yelan - Perhaps the biggest stretch due to a lack of canon interaction, but if you really commit to this there’s all kinds of interesting emotional distance going on here

Faruzan x Layla - The inherent distance of position plays a role here, but I think the more interesting source of distance is the emotional distance that would come with being a hundred years out of time

Bibliography because I guess I write posts that need one now

Suzuki, Michiko. “Writing Same-Sex Love: Sexology and Literary Representation in Yoshiya Nobuko's Early Fiction,” in The Journal of Asian Studies, vol. 65, no. 3 (Aug., 2006), 575-599.

#genshin #Genshin impact #genshin yuri #genshin analysis #genshin gays #eimiko #god i hope people don’t get all bent out of shape about this #genshin meta

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scaryinclusive · 5 months

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NEURODIVERGENCE WRITING TIPS!

by @scaryinclusive.

topic: c-ptsd & ptsd. symptom discussed: nightmares.

to begin with, it's important to make the distinction between c-ptsd and ptsd. just because c-ptsd means complex-post traumatic stress disorder doesn't mean ptsd isn't complex on its own. the most notable difference is that, while ptsd is typically brought on by a single, traumatic event, c-ptsd is chronic trauma, that has been drip-fed over time ( long-term ) or that occurred repeatedly over a period of time. it could be easy to confuse the two, or not make a point of defining them, however they are different conditions and require differing support and treatments.

it is entirely possible to develop both disorders together, from a singular event alongside a long-term series of events. because of many of their symptoms being shared / similar, typically time-frame is the deciding factor in diagnosis. that being said, c-ptsd may require prolonged, more intensive treatment due to the traumatic event occurring repeatedly or for a long time, effectively being more complex to overcome. here is a useful link further explaining the differences, similarities and treatments of c-ptsd and ptsd.

one symptom common in both disorders is re-experiencing the trauma through intrusive nightmares. and it's the accurate writing and portrayal of these nightmares that i'll be focusing on in this post. dreams are often a way for our subconscious to process details of any event, traumatic or not, whether that be to refine details, understand motives, notice things you maybe hadn't before or recreate the narrative in an attempt to reassure oneself. nightmares, specifically when repeated, can represent the body and mind struggling to break down and process trauma — this is when treatment or support is usually sought out.

it should be noted that nightmares don't last forever and can be manageable through treatment of the disorder itself. ptsd nightmares may subside after some weeks or months of consistent treatment ( that doesn't mean you won't ever have them again, but you will likely become more desensitised to them ) whereas c-ptsd nightmares may continue for years post-events due to the body and mind struggling to desensitise, an outcome of chronic hyperarousal. depending on which your character has, or if they have both, results may vary. for detailed information on various self-adaptations to reduce or ease trauma-related nightmares, read this. your character may implement some of these to assist in a better night's sleep.

it's helpful to acknowledge the ways in which your character might experience nightmares. media ( movies, books, music videos etc ) is an easy source to turn to for influence and inspiration, but it's vital to recognise trauma-related disorders are a spectrum and no one individual experiences trauma the same. a lot of media leans towards the rather stereotypical, but valid nonetheless, representation of individuals startling awake, maybe with a gasp, jolt or even a scream. this can happen for those less desensitised to their trauma, or to those new to it ( a recent event or sudden awareness of childhood trauma ), but there are other behaviours less talked about, and exploring these for your character can be the difference between stereotyping them or expanding into new territory.

here is a list of tips to consider when writing trauma-related nightmares and waking from them, for your character:

if an individual's hyperarousal is decreasing overtime, or they're becoming more desensitised to their nightmares or trauma in general, they might experience more subdued feelings and sensations within their dream-state, such as concern, worry, nervousness, caution or reluctance. they might wake from their nightmares feeling reserved, aware of their surroundings, uncomfortable or unnerved. they might wake like nothing happened, quickly recovering and proceeding with their day. it's also possible they may wake and maintain an external mask of 'feeling fine', but are internally disturbed, unsettled, anxious or feel unsafe for the rest of the day.

it's common for the intensity of the traumatic event to correlate with the intensity of reliving it. these disorders are heavily based around fear, regardless of how subdued or extreme ( depending on hyperarousal state ), and therefore reactivity upon awakening can be as pronounced as reactivity during the event or the complete opposite end of the scale.

they're not one-size fits all diagnoses. symptoms may vary depending on the trauma itself. for example, an abuse survivor may experience differing symptoms to a war veteran. an individual that suffered a traumatic crash might exhibit different symptoms to a survivor of an animal attack. this doesn't make one worse or more severe than the other, fear is experienced uniquely for every individual and thus intensity is too. the same way a character with a minimalised or desensitised fear response might experience trauma differently to someone with a typical fear response, despite living through the same trauma, etc.

your character might compartmentalise. if this is the case, they essentially shut away the fear to be processed for another time — or not at all. and this isn't always by choice, as it can be entirely subconscious. this can give the impression that they remain unaffected by the nightmare, when really they're either choosing not to face it or involuntarily protecting themselves. equally, your character might not be able to stop looping the nightmare in their head for the coming days and weeks. it's important to note that this repetition can weigh on you, making you tired, short-tempered, reactive or hyperaware, etc. it might impact interactions with other characters or with your character's own self. tolerance, patience, decision making and sense of control might shift. it might influence the decision to turn to substance abuse or general medication.

it's very important to acknowledge that nightmares themselves can vary. in perspective, intention, location, meaning — for example, an abuse survivor's nightmare might place them into the role of the abuser ( for intentions such as trying to comprehend their abuser's actions through their own self. ) a crash survivor might perceive the event from an outsider's perspective, or from the perspective of the other individual involved. there are also cases where familiar faces, friends, family, trusted people, etc, might step into an abusive, inappropriate or exploitative role — potentially as a way for the mind to process injustice or the enabling of a traumatic event. nightmares that enact, re-enact or represent inappropriate / taboo things can be extremely difficult to experience, as individuals may feel they can't safely discuss them without judgement or abandonment. this can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt and confusion.

it's also not uncommon for nightmares to make little sense. individuals responsible for your character's trauma might simply make an appearance, their presence being enough to unnerve but not necessarily an active participant in the nightmare. additionally, your character might be witness to a traumatic event that happened to them in their nightmare, or hear about it on the news etc rather than a direct experience.

these disorders can be co-morbid with other conditions / disorders. going off of this, it's worth considering the fact that nightmares can impact sleep — whether that be ability, willingness / desire or consistency. maybe your character needs medical assistance in sleeping, faces insomnia or restlessness, can't stay asleep or sleeps for too long. maybe they have to nap regularly due to a lack of sleep or mental / physical exhaustion ( because nightmares can make you feel as though you haven't slept when you have ), or they feel wired and hyperaroused and can't focus or concentrate when awake. sleep-walking is another one to consider. it can also trigger the development of physical illness.

nightmares can feel extremely real. waking up doesn't always provide relief. that being said, waking up naturally can sometimes mean you're less likely to remember than if you were to be woken or were to wake yourself. this varies for each individual. because of this, the ability to come down from a nightmare varies. sometimes, routines can help — calming processes to encourage relaxation, or things such as video games or reading to provide distractions, etc. it is possible for nightmares to trigger other symptoms, upon waking.

while it's entirely possible, and valid, to explore your character waking violently ( physical violence ) as this can happen for some, this is a stereotype portrayed in a lot of media that depicts ptsd and c-ptsd havers as aggressive, violent or dangerous. equally, violent action doesn't always mean violent intention or desire. please be cautious and respectful of enabling stereotypes such as these, they do create stigma. if you decide to pursue physical reactivity to nightmares for your character, be sure to do your research rather than copying what you saw in a movie.

overall, it's important you make the effort to correctly and respectfully portray your characters' ptsd and / or c-ptsd, regardless of whether they're a side character or primary, instead of leaning into stereotypes and potential stigma. and if you're ever unsure, ask! no one should get upset at you for wanting to learn more, as long as you've tried to find out first, because the mental health community isn't your own personal encyclopaedia.

i'd appreciate no one adding to this post but you're more than welcome to reblog. instead, if you have something you feel could be a beneficial addition, send it over to my asks! i'd like to avoid the risk of misinformation being spread where possible.

#writing resources #mental health awareness #representation #actuallyptsd #trauma related.#ptsd related.#c-ptsd related.#resources.#writing resources.#so excited to be doing these

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liketheinferno2 · 2 years

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Coming out of Endwalker like... so many thoughts I am not quite ready to organise without looking back, but I think I have figured out why a lot of people see Stormblood as the odd egg out in this story. It's not the pacing, and it's not that the characters are as unbearable as a lot of people make them out to be either, it's just a step backwards thematically. It backs off from the personal emotional stuff and is a big wide plot thing, and it makes sense that it would be, considering a lot of it was apparently plotted out before even Heavensward and still running on ARR logic. But there's this long running thing in this game that was always better expressed through figurative feelsy stuff where the pain is grand and unreal, sometimes literally inconceivably great the way big numbers don't compute in the human brain. Stuff that is tethered closer to emotions than physical events and gets as close to the characters as possible. Write what you know but not with actual events I guess?

FFXIV at its brightest is about grief, depression, denial and escapism and how you have to move past all of that to make your life worth living -- For those we have lost, for those we can yet save -- but more than that, how this is only really possible through new and surviving bonds. You can't save everyone and you can't get those people back. There's no way to rewind or undo the loss and trauma and the characters who cause themselves suffering are all either out for revenge, or reincarnation that they could never live to see, or more broadly they're looking for a meaning in life that has a finite end point. Estinien, G'raha are both extremely relevant additions to the cast for this reason, it's far more than just fan appeal. 1. Guy who lived to kill, not just for lost loved ones but a life he could have had; almost ends the life he has now if not for new love and friendship. 2. Guy who lived to die out of love, and when denied this had to come to terms with the fact that removing yourself from a loved one is not a kindness, and one person cannot be the beginning and end of where you find purpose. The amount of beloved characters who only enter the main cast proper after you stop them from offing themselves was never lost on me.

Anyway, if Heavensward was when this theming got LOUD and ANGRY, Shadowbringers is when it was cold and alone. I came out of Shadowbringers rattled, genuinely exhausted. Endwalker is not like that. It's the story not just for people in the abyss, but those of us who have climbed out again. A lot of people are Hermes in this story, but I'm a Venat type myself... and it's something you can only achieve after digging through the mud. Extremely rare to ever have a story like this written from that perspective. Once I realised what her white robes meant I changed mine. That's neither here nor there but Endwalker eases you in, stresses you out, hurts over and over but keeps giving you anchors to hold onto and relationships to push you forward, and up to the very last second it's harder and harder (for the characters at least,) but then the relief! Shadowbringers felt like washing up on the beach, Endwalker lets you down gently! God it's good.

I know what an actual character end feels like so I wasn't crying in that final area, I think my prevailing emotion was "I hate these nihilist cunts" "I hate that all this destruction was needless" "I hate this fucking crab bucket dimension" but in a completely positive way. It's that frustration I feel when someone refuses to accept that they have defined their own meaninglessness, it is not inherent and it is causing them all this unnecessary pain. This is the suicide expansion, that's just what it is. I had my doubts when that first came up in the patches but not once did it feel cheap, even when the game beats you over the head with it. The end reveal that "suffer with me" was never even supposed to be kindness, because of course it wasn't, of course there's rage and fear in that, Hermes said himself that killing something that wants to live is not beautiful.

And there's debate about whether the Ancients had an "actual utopia" or not -- A. Of course it was because Emmie said so, B. Of course it wasn't because Hermes and Meteion suffered -- but that's not even the right question to ask in my opinion. It was an actual utopia, caveat: in a piece of fiction written with the idea that utopia and perfection is unachievable and would destroy anyone who could reach it. It being actually genuinely all but free of pain for mankind is not a loss of a great society that could never be rebuilt, but a sort of literalised escapism, literalised denial, an unreachable world that people on real world (the sundered one, in-universe) can only wish or hope existed, if somehow we could ever be free of strife. You go to the Garden of Eden and it's a lab. It's heaven bro. It's heaven and you can't reach it through violence.

Ironically Zenos who was such a... ???? ... in Stormblood ended up being best adapted to the themes of Endwalker because here's 3. Guy searching eternally for what meaning he can find through violence, when actually hurt for the first time in his adult life finds it the closest thing to closeness he's yet felt. But instead of identifying that closeness as what he wants, blames it on the violence instead, literally chases you to the ends of the earth hoping you'll kill each other in some ultimate act of physicality and what is, to Zenos, love! The nearest thing to it. The harder he pushes this way the further he pushes any reasonable person away from reciprocating. He gets so close to realising what he's done wrong, not in his actions but in the meaning he has defined for himself. Alisaie gets closer than anyone to cracking him just by telling him he'll die hated and alone. And personally I do think the rescue button was made of his regret, some last second realisation that dying is not what he wanted, and more than that, he does not want the person who at least tried to give his life meaning to die too. Loving or hating this character are both completely reasonably strong reactions but he loves YOU, like it or not. That's kinda the point...

Terrified I'm gonna lose this post so I end it here. Endwalker was unmatched. Best Game.

#let him speak #meta #dante plays catboy simulator #endwalker spoilers

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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Funny you mention that, I'm actually planning to go a step further and have proper relationships sections! So every character relationship in the infobox (and then some) can be covered with the depth they deserve.

Of course, that kind of thing can go off the rails fast and become a breeding ground for speculation, so they'll focus solely on the progression of the relationship from the perspective of the character whose article it is, and require a citation for every claim made. (I'd personally like to move towards citing every claim we make period, but it'd probably be best to start with baby steps.)

So I've had that cooking for a while (Jo is coincidentally the character I decided to start with, since he has very few relationships but they're all complex enough for a stress test). I probably shouldn't approach it with the intent to "correct misunderstandings," but I would like to think fans might have an easier time creating in-character fanworks with all of that information in one place. At the very least, you wouldn't necessarily have to go back through all the RGGO stories as a refresher lol.

I've never wanted to address Mine's orientation per se--not that that's quite what you were talking about I think, this is purely as an aside--because a lot of it's considered semantics and I just can't cite it directly in the way I can cite his feelings for Daigo. But on a personal level, I'm honestly surprised at the number of dudebros I've seen who'd be willing to accept he's bi, but being gay is a bridge too far on account of him dating women.

But the point of what he was talking about in the finale is that those relationships weren't at all fulfilling for him, right? Through a purely speculative lens, Jo claiming to be unable to remember Ikumi's name reminds me of that somehow. Like, if that's actually true, you remember every single minute detail of New Year's down to the locker numbers, where Ikumi gave birth, what Arakawa's face looked like, but you can't remember the name of the mother of your child? Alright, man. That's so normal. There's no trauma and/or comphet-adjacence there.

Speaking of--yeah, Masato's card unfortunately comes with no story, so it's not just bad luck. Character stories were discontinued with Kawara and Bessho, I think over a year ago now. On one hand I'm kind of thankful because they've been making it increasingly difficult to actually pull newly-released cards, but on the other hand, it's a huge part of what made cards worth trying for in the first place.

I do get it in terms of sheer volume though; it's mainly Yokoyama and Takeuchi themselves writing everything, and for scale, if I take solely my own translations of all of Mine's events and stories, it'd equal roughly 27.5k words. I can understand putting out that novella-length volume of content--ridiculously HQ content at that--every month isn't feasible when you're also writing for console entries on top of that.

You definitely shouldn't be putting yourself down in comparison though haha, I adore your work precisely because you've got such an excellent grasp on the characters and I always look forward to anything you put out!

Very, very true about Mine and his dad! I think if I were to summarize my findings from the papers (with regard to Mine specifically), Mine has this line in the finale about his hatred of people like Kiryu who "live solely by the principles of giri-ninjo, moral obligation and human feeling." Obviously not translated that way in-game because it's pretty lofty, but there is significance to it as I see it.

Focusing on the ninjo aspect, the papers define the term as "knowing how to [depend and presume upon another’s benevolence] properly and how to respond to the call [to depend and presume] in others." The "dependency need" component is thought develop as a baby first bonds with its parent.

Although it's commonly associated with child and parent, it applies to many forms of dependence, "such as between lovers, friends, husband and wife, teacher and student, employer and employee." It should also be noted it's not strictly hierarchical--superiors depend on their subordinates just as much.

So ninjo is a concept with a history of being considered "specifically as Japanese" in a way Westerners wouldn't understand. (It isn't actually, of course--everyone experiences this form of dependence--however, if I recall correctly, Japanese people were found to be significantly more likely to recognize and admit to it than Westerners.)

By opposing ninjo, a Japanese ideal of dependence, Mine implicitly aligns himself with "the Western ideal of personal independence," which is described as an ideal in which "one might just as well depend upon oneself or become independent, since there is nobody else to depend upon."

This is absolutely rooted in his being an orphan. His "dependency need" was at one point fulfilled by his dad's presence in his life, and once he lost him, he spent the rest of his life fluctuating between searching for someone else who would fulfill it and trying to be someone who doesn't experience "dependency need."

In contrast to Japanese society, where "parental dependency is fostered and its behavior pattern institutionalized into the social structure," the idealized version of Western society values an individual's success over their background. One example is the American myth of the "self-made man," which Mine describes himself as in the original Y3. As an orphan, his rejection of Japanese society in favor of Western society would make sense in that regard as well.

Growing up with no one to depend on and often facing loss and betrayal when he tried to, Mine avoids relying on or trusting others for most of his life. He is independent not because it comes naturally to him, but because of how dependence has hurt him in the past--i.e., "one might just as well depend upon oneself or become independent, since there is nobody else to depend upon."

However, Mine does accept and directly acknowledge the concept at the heart of ninjo when he admits in the finale, "People yearn to trust others. And to be trusted in return." That also coincides with him choosing to end things according to his code of honor as a yakuza, and literally taking the game's main representative of Western culture down with him. It's so perfect within this framework that I have no idea if Yokoyama even knew what he was doing, but He Sure Did It.

But it absolutely works with what you said, and I think it's fairly self-evident because you were able to pick up on it even if you didn't have the exact terminology in mind; Mine once his dependency need fulfilled where Jo never did, and it's made all the difference. I'm a very, very heavily Westernized South Asian still living in South Asia, and I imagine there's less overlap between SAsian culture and EAsian culture, but I've always thought "family values" such as those discussed are more or less ubiquitous in Asian cultures. For what it's worth, I relate strongly to Mine here.

(Also, in case anyone one day accuses me of copying Mine's future personality section from Tumblr, a fair amount of this is from my draft of that. I'm trying my best to make it sound less insane because it's going on a wiki, but y'know.)

Rewinding a little bit, I wanted to point out that Mine being bullied for being an orphan in that specific scene is more or less an invention of Y3R's localization. Kind of an understandable one, because he certainly did face it and Y3R's script was written without ever consulting a Japanese translation, but an invention nonetheless; in that scene, he was being bullied for being poor, not being an orphan.

But I don't think that affects the validity of your point at all, since--and it might not be totally intentional, since Mine wasn't always supposed to be the main antagonist--all the time you spend working with the Morning Glory kids through their problems effectively shows what he may have gone through. Except that he, also like Jo I suppose, had no adults in his life to help him navigate those same problems.

It's hear-twrenching listening to Masato talk about his disability even as an adult, the role internalized ableism played in creating that rift can't be overstated. Brings to mind the image of Arakawa at a complete loss how to respond when Masato was hitting his legs; perhaps if he'd been better-equipped to get through to him as a parent in the way Ichi was able to at the end, things might have turned out different. I think Arakawa displays a lot more emotional maturity and awareness than most characters, but he's not always able or willing to communicate that.

Once again, I absolutely love how your comparison post turned out! I wouldn't have minded being @'d (not that I mind not being @'d) at all haha, I'm not very active so I love getting notifications. Just a huge fan of your presentation, super clean and easy to follow in my opinion. There are a few points I'd love to discuss further, but I know my asks tend to be way too long for what they are haha, so I'll wait. But yeah, just as the Venn diagram of Mine and Jo overlaps, so does the Venn diagram of Mine and Jo fans. Happy to have you in the middle!

I'm glad you got as much out of the books as I did! That's exactly why I think they works super well for them, and I was hoping you'd catch the added Art Appreciator similarity. Also worth noting the art history books appear to be in Polish? I guess you wouldn't need to understand the language if you were more about admiring the art itself (my own art history books are in English and I ignore the text in every single one), but it's kind of funny to have all these thick Tomes you probably can't read.

Also very true. I feel like Hijikata and DS Ryuji aren't quite even since Saigo does exist haha, though he doesn't have as much screen time as Hijikata. There are a few opportunities Mine seems to lose out to Ryuji or others (Ryuji being chosen over him as an RGGO protagonist when Mine was in the running and frankly fit the criteria better, for example), but it is what it is.

Yokoyama did mention the love for the first three games' rivals makes casting for spinoffs really easy though, so I do have hope for more actual Mine! I'd like to see a Dead Souls 2 (he has a pretty good excuse to be cyborg-ified, given the probable state of his body after the fall lmao), or maybe even an Ishin 2, since the events that led to Hijikata and the others' deaths in real life were avoided in Ishin.

I know Yokoyama's talked about a "Y0.5" with Ryuji and Mine, a French Revolution spinoff (???), a Romance of the Three Kingdoms spinoff, and a Sengoku-era Hattori Hanzo spinoff featuring 8 protagonists and the same "all-star" approach to casting as Ishin. Someone else pitched a spinoff for when the yakuza first came into existence, too. And, at one point, before Ichi existed, they were considering continuing the series with Gaiden-type games featuring various characters (though I think going forward, further Gaidens would depend on the success of Gaiden.) So there are lots of possibilities! I really do hope he gets to be a protagonist or playable character one day, since he fits the mold perfectly IMO.

I'm happy you appreciate my offering haha! I hope you'll let us know what you think of Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP whenever you get to them. That is unfortunately how I found out about Toru :') I adore the leads and their relationship myself, so I never would've thought Pure would go there! But I suppose it does check out for Tsutsumi's career.

Good Morning Show is honestly driving me insane because I'm positive I watched it but can't find it at the same address anymore??? I had to watch it with clearly machine translated subs, but it was as chaotic as it looks. Godspeed!

Oh, I also wanted to weigh in on the "Masato's care" line since that was originally supposed to be part of the response (and since the topic of localization is super interesting to me, as someone who not only translates works but translates RGGS' works and has needed to become intimately familiar with the official localization style).

It's an odd choice, because on top of what Anon said, everything from the context to the grammatical construction of the original Japanese sentence should clearly convey that what he's apologizing for is not taking sole responsibility for Masato's care and having Ichiban attend to him on top of his regular duties. He's not apologizing for Masato's care itself being a burden.

Honestly kind of baffling because not two scenes earlier, they convey the exact same sentiment perfectly--"Sorry to bother you with something so personal." [JP] / "I'm sorry to keep asking you to help me with something so personal." [EN]. It's like, to me, talented localization teams should absolutely be celebrated, but they should also be completely "invisible" in the moment. They're not invisible in that moment because it's their biases coming through rather the character or even the writer's biases.

I don't necessarily mean bias in terms of internalizing ableist ideas (it's hard to say it plays no part, given it's a disabled character being discussed, but what I mean is there's not at all enough to go on to conclude it was a malicious or even a conscious decision). I also mean in the sense of getting "locked into" a certain way of thinking about disabled characters and their care, and multiple different teams (base translation, dub editors, and sub editors) going over that line and not thinking twice.

Because like, it's true that in fiction (and unfortunately real life) you do see parents who feel it's a burden, but that doesn't mean Arakawa has to be that way. It kind of undermines RGG Studio's efforts to employ rigorous sensitivity checks starting this "generation" of games (starring Yagami and Ichiban, I mean) when things slip through the cracks like that.

And it's not the only area it happens; there are a number of places where there's this "tunnel vision" surrounding certain ideas that comes to the forefront. One of the things that leads to is instances of "pigeonholing" characters into pre-existing molds while not giving enough consideration to who the characters actually are in this particular work.

For me Jo actually got the brunt of it (or perhaps I was just most sensitive to it), from marketing to localization. Marketing-wise, the very first time we saw him in English-language trailers, it was literally for one second after either the word "BAD" or a synonym flashed on-screen. A far cry from Tsutsumi's one-on-one interview where he explicitly says Jo is doing everything in service of a deeper motive, his English voice actor was not interviewed at all, while most major characters' English voice actors were.

Localization-wise, there's one thing that perfectly encapsulates (if you'll allow me to be dramatic for a moment) "What Went Wrong." It's what they decided to call Jo's fighting style. The fact it went from Shame Style to something as trite as Vile Blade genuinely haunts me to this day. Just the sheer flanderization in taking a name that lays bare the core of his character and motivations, a name that conveys perfectly how he sees himself as inhuman and irredeemable, and then turning it inside-out to suggest he IS inhuman and irredeemable? That's insane to me.

Of course, I'm not really able to gauge whether/how that kind of thing actually affected the reception or general understanding of him as a character since I haven't participated in the fandom at all for years, but I do wonder if it has.

Having pages dedicated to relationships and including how each character perceives their relationships sounds like a fair idea (I've always been a fan about how on Masato's page, Yumeno is regarded as his 'girlfriend' while on her page he's only her 'customer'. It's a small detail all things considered, but it's a great way to emphasize how much impact one party can have on another and can deepen the significance of relationships and interactions)! And having citations at the ready is always a good idea to help clear up misinformation or just to simply provide tidbits people are curious about, though obviously with a franchise as big as RGG (including RGGO content), it's very easy to understand if it would take significant time to have absolutely everything accounted for. It's what makes the time dedicated to this kind of work all the more respectable, really!

When it comes to Mine- or any character honestly- and their orientation, for the sake of sharing information clearly, I think it'd be better just to focus on what's provided opposed to trying to find a concrete label for it, so I can't say I'm all too upset at the lack of a solid 'confirmation' and I am grateful for the material given that lets us work towards one conclusion and another.

It is surprising to me that people are more open to Mine being bisexual though (I usually see people try to ignore the fact bisexuality is an option. It's a weird win I guess..). But as you've pointed out, I personally believe Mine's case was more about a case of comphet behavior, as the line where he alludes to his past relations with women it's from a segment where he's specifically highlighting how he wasn't happy abiding by what should have made him happy. I still don't know how people observed the full scene but decided to block out the very next line where he says he was unsatisfied and just walked away with 'Mine likes women'. ☠️

Onto Jo though, the state of his memory about Masato's birth really is jarring when you point it out. It's one thing to just chalk it up to a sprinkle of misogyny and not finding Ikumi important (though at least RGG was nice enough to give her files a proper name), but really thinking about it, it's incredibly bizarre he doesn't remember at all. Not considering the actual nine months they had to live together for Ikumi to have Masato, I'd assume they'd have to live together a little longer than that then- and still nothing...? But everything else about that night... Definitely something to raise an eyebrow about lmao

That's unfortunate about the RGGO stories though! But like you said, it's totally understandable as to why they had to discontinue them (but also of course, they were a big attraction to me personally to play the game and card hunt), especially when it's only two people already having to juggle other projects. But thank you for the encouragement with my own personal projects: I try not to be too hard on myself since that certainly won't do anything, and it certainly helps to know that I'm on the right track with what I'm doing! I really do love these characters (and I'm also terribly aware they're a bit unpopular all things considered), so I always want to do what I can to do them justice for myself and other fans!

Highlighting Mine's preference towards the West has really been a great experience- it's something I've only noticed on small scales (i.e. his foreign car and of course his English), but bringing it to light like this has really helped validate and further my understanding of him! That being said, Mine most definitely has adopted the American mentality of stressing independence and not relying on others, and it's undoubtedly come as a result of his upbringing. Ergo, analyzing Mine in relation to his connection not just with American philosophy but also giri-ninjo is definitely worthwhile, and from the sounds of it absolutely significant to understanding his character and his motives (it's certainly something I'm already taking notes on for the future)!

Moreover, I've always been a fan of Mine and his ability to acknowledge the inherit need to have companionship, or at the very least his subconscious need for bonds. In that, it's clear Mine's pursuit of independence was a way to protect himself (I might dare to say he lets down his guard fairly easily all things considered, though I won't ignore his caution towards Daigo and Kanda when initially meeting them. Moreover, it's just clear that when he feels betrayed, despite convincing himself he's a lone wolf, he feels that pain significantly- much greater than someone who sincerely believes themselves to be independent should). Just as you've said, Mine's suicide and taking Richardson with him is really a solid and magnificent way to round off his character through the lens of him putting to rest his solitary philosophy. Going further with gameplay interwoven with story telling, the time-consuming Dad Simulator bits of Y3 really do help highlight how much the kids of Morning Glory- and in that case orphans in general- rely on adults like Kiryu to navigate life. And evidently, that experience ties back into Mine and his frustrations with not just people like Kiryu who help others without expecting a reward, but also how the less fortunate are able to receive that help where as Mine wasn't offered that.

On that note, I feel like I remember learning that the 'orphan' bit was an inclusion, but I guess I forgot that detail along the way. Nevertheless, I'm just about to start eating drywall over the translation differences at this point- even if my point isn't moot, I still can't help but feel an anxiety that I'm going to greatly misinterpret something (and I can certainly get back to this point later when it comes to the likes of Jo's in the west). At the very least, it's a better incentive to brush up on my Japanese. I'll take what I can though: I'm glad that what I've said it still valid in some parts!

The case of Masato's something that's always going to intrigue my mind (I owe myself a chance to properly sit down and analyze him). There's so many aspects at play that could have affected how he turned out as an adult, and family is undoubtedly a major factor contributing to that outcome. To expand on that, it's inarguable that Arakawa was doing the most he could for Masato as not only a young, single father who had a complicated relationship with his own parents, but also having to operate as a ruthless yakuza to the rest of Kamurocho meant not only was he busy, but he needed to uphold an image and make sure his son wasn't too involved with that life. In this, it seems apparent that Arakawa's conditions to be a parent weren't exactly ideal, and as a result it's fair to assume he potentially 'under performed' in some aspects due to these circumstances, so to say (we see he keeps himself active in Masato's life when he's an adult, so it's not as though I'm proposing it's a case of neglect. It's unfortunate we really don't get more of the Arakawa Family's family life to better understand their circumstances).

Thank you for your compliments on my comparison post! I didn't want to come off as bothersome, but I'll make sure to tag you in any future posts I make that are inspired by you ^^ Honestly, I thought my post was a bit messy on some parts, but I'm thrilled to hear it was comprehensive- and of course, I've love to hear your input on any points in the future if you ever feel like sharing them!

The topic of RGG spinoffs has been a topic between a friend and I every now and then (though I never would have expected a French Revolution game????), so it's astounding to hear about the various ideas that have been floating around (I would be excited the most for a game about Hanzo though- I remember obsessing over him while I was in middle school for whatever reason lmao)! In any case, spinoffs would be a great way to utilize one-off characters: it might not be mainline or technically canon, but being able to see the characters again is never something I can complain about so long as the game's fun and the story's engaging!

I'll make sure to keep you posted on how I feel about Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP: I have an insatiable need to share everything on my mind, so I'll undoubtedly talk about them and whatever thoughts I have! Again, I have to apologize about spoiling the end like that- I really didn't expect them to go that way either when I first saw it honestly! But I can't say it was a terrible ending- unfortunate, but I wasn't super mad about it.

Now returning to the state of RGG's translations, that is especially weird in that situation in particular when they have a similar line in the same (or about the same, anyway) scene? As you've said, it might have been an unfortunate case of penning in something based off of independent thought, though it's still unfortunate because it did have the potential to alter not just the scene itself, but Arakawa's character as well (and of course, we would have hoped RGG wold improve when it comes to sensitive topics at this point).

And onto a point I've been weirdly excited to get to, the case of Jo and how the west seemed to handle him. Maybe it's because of America's tendency to make marketing more 'aggressive' (my personal favorite case is making Kirby appear angrier in ads? Because rage and cute-pink-puffball makes sense to me), so opposed to a more grey portrayal they went with something more blunt. Though, it's incredibly strange that Jo seemed to receive such a 'particular' treatment when it came to marketing? My only theory is that they just really wanted Jo's 'reveal' in the Coin Locker Baby chapter to be all the more impactful, but it's just messy honestly.

More importantly, the change of his style's name is also really unfortunate to me. As you've said, it strips interesting aspects of his character away, and a major aspect of his character is evidently guilt. I can't fathom trying to construct his character to be violent without reason, it really undermines what makes him so compelling.

Though, I guess if it's anything, from what I've seen this change in presentation has done little to impact people's perception of him (but maybe that's because I haven't really seen anyone else in the west talk about him...)

#long post #fave #snap chats #preemptive apology for how eUgh my response may be #im a little tired but i also didnt want to wait to respond to this- especially when it has points im really interested in #definitely bookmarking this one to look back at for mine #ah im sure i wanted to say some things else but i cant remember them now #one quick note on mine's psyche tho is that I Too found it relatable (and im also SEAsian- funny how things turn out huh lmao)#of course maybe its because /im/ american so im quite literally in the culture #but my family's a little complicated so instead of the people around me i feel on my own because of them if that makes sense #basically im able to understand mine feeling some resentment or shut out from a culture supposedly about togetherness #its hard for me to explain rn ohhh i wish my brain worked at this hour #in any case thank you again for writing in ! as always its incredibly insightful and a great way to get me thinking #but speaking of thinking i guess i should start my morning- ive got to think about childhood psychology later #then im freee....

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sophieinwonderland · 1 year

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Saying you can have did/osdd without trauma is like saying you can have PTSD without trauma.

First, obligatory: Most endogenic systems don't claim to have DID or OSDD.

Second, this really depends on how you define "trauma" and "PTSD."

The DSM actually has a very strict definition of trauma that doesn't include things that may cause PTSD symptoms.

Not only is trauma insufficient to trigger PTSD symptoms, it is also not necessary. Although by definition clinicians cannot diagnose PTSD in the absence of trauma, recent work suggests that the disorder’s telltale symptom pattern can emerge from stressors that do not involve bodily peril. In 2008 psychologist Gerald M. Rosen of the University of Washington and one of us (Lilienfeld) reviewed data demonstrating that significant PTSD symptoms can follow emotional upheavals resulting from divorce, significant employment difficulties or loss of a close friendship. In a 2005 study of 454 undergraduates, psychologist Sari Gold of Temple University and her colleagues revealed that students who had experienced nontraumatic stressors, such as serious illness in a loved one, divorce of their parents, relationship problems or imprisonment of someone close to them, reported even higher rates of PTSD symptoms than did students who had lived through bona fide trauma. Taken together, these findings call into question the long-standing belief that these symptoms are tied only to physical threat. In light of these and other data, some authors have suggested that the PTSD diagnosis be extended to include anxiety reactions to events that are stressful but not terrifying. Yet such a change could lead to what Harvard University psychologist Richard J. McNally calls “criterion creep”—expanding the boundaries of the diagnosis beyond recognition. This and other controversies aside, recent results raise the possibility that PTSD is a less distinctive affliction than originally thought and that its symptoms may arise in response to a plethora of intense stressors that are part and parcel of the human condition.

So while you technically can't have PTSD without trauma, because you need trauma to be diagnosed with PTSD, you can have all the symptoms of PTSD from what might be considered nontraumatic stressors, and have those symptoms even be stronger than those of what the DSM considers "real" trauma.

I don't say this to invalidate anyone's trauma. Only to point out a fatal flaw in the DSM and how disorders are defined, which often have as much to do with bureaucracy as mental health. People put way too much stock in diagnostic labels.

My personal definition of trauma would include any events that cause PTSD symptoms, but that's not how the term is used in the DSM. There are many other definitions as well,

Now, using that definition instead of the harmful DSM definition, the question of DID and OSDD is still a complicated one and I remain open-minded.

As of right now, it's hard to know if trauma is always the cause or just heavily associated with it.

One problem with studies is that variables can sometimes be correlated without necessarily being caused by one another. An example of this might be the third variable problem, where there's a third variable that causes multiple things to appear correlated, like how shark attacks are heavily correlated with ice cream sales. (The cause of both is Summer time. People buy more ice cream and go swimming on the beach more in Summer.)

Is that what's happening here?

No. I don't think it is.

The correlation is too strong, and it's unlikely there would be a third variable that would cause both trauma and dissociation.

But I think it might be worth considering an indirect causal relationship. With a direct relationship, A causes B. With an indirect causal relationship, A causes B which causes C.

The shark example is exactly a good demonstration of this. Summer weather causes more people to go swimming at the beach. More people swimming at the beach makes it more likely people will get attacked by sharks. There is a clear causal link between A and C, but that's because A causes B which causes C in turn. This allows you to affect the result by altering the middle variable. For example, if you close the beaches during the Summer but leave them open the rest of the year, you'll decrease the number of shark attacks in the Summer and see them increase at other times.

In the case of DID, many psychiatrists will frequently point to avoidant behavior increasing dissociative compartmentalizing between alters.

So maybe that could be the more direct initial cause too, and the model isn't a simple "trauma -> dissociative compartmentalization" but "trauma -> avoidant behavior -> dissociative compartmentalization."

In this case, it's possible that dissociative disorders could form without trauma, and it's just rare because the avoidant behavior necessary is usually only a trauma response. After all, why would a healthy person want to block out their memories and experiences so badly over a long period of time? But just because it wouldn't be common doesn't make it impossible.

What we can know for certain is trauma is highly correlated with dissociative disorders. But whether the causation is direct or indirect still remains a mystery.

And it's one that will likely remain impossible to solve. While it might be relatively simple to devise an experiment based on having children engage in avoidant behavior to see if DID developed without trauma, trying to give someone a mental disorder would be highly unethical.

And while there are plenty of DID systems who don't remember any traumatic experiences, the nature of DID blocking out memories makes those testimonies unreliable.

If I may ask, why is it so important that all instance of DID and OSDD be trauma based?

Major Depressive Disorder is often caused by trauma, but the fact that you can have MDD without trauma isn't treated as if it invalidates the trauma of everyone whose depression is traumagenic.

So why must some systems feel like if other systems had DID without trauma, it would somehow invalidate their own?

#ask box #syscourse #psychology #psychiatry #endogenic #pro endo #pro endogenic #system #systems #multiplicity #system stuff #psych critical #dsm #trauma #plural #plurality #plural system #actually a system

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demonkinds · 2 years

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The Zenin Family & Generational Trauma

The intergenerational trauma in the Zenin fascinates me so much, specially in the way it manifests in the characters. Megumi’s abandonment by Toji manifests in the way he can’t trust and connect easily with others, Nobara and Yuji had to call him out on this and tell him that he could trust them, which he didn’t despite them being his only friends. It also manifests in his negative outlook of life, in the way he just can’t see the good in people as easily as people like Tsumiki do because he’s been put through the worst by people who were supposed to protect him.

Then there’s Maki and Mai whose father considered them lesser for being women and whose mother enabled this abuse. They’re also a good representation of the way some people respond to trauma, the ones who get out (Maki) and the ones who stay and do what is expected of them to appease their abusers (Mai). Their trauma also intervened in their communication; Mai resented Maki for leaving her behind to endure while Maki left because she wanted to create a better place for both. Like Megumi, this lack of communication derives from their trauma; Mai felt abandoned by the one person she trusted and felt cared for, and was too hurt to reach out. It's unknown whether Maki did reach out, but given their interaction at the goodwill event, it seems that it was their first time talking things out, and despite Maki’s apology, their relationship isn’t mended because their communication is already ruined. They were brought up in an environment that values fighting and strength above everything else, after all, how could they have developed healthy emotional communication skills? Maki thinks that the only way she can give Mai a better life is by using those tools she was taught had value and use them to become head of the clan. Mai isn’t wrong for being passive about her situation; as I mentioned it’s common for children to accept their abuse and do what’s asked of them. But this isn’t a weakness ― it’s a survival tool that, much like Maki’s fighting instinct, she developed in order to cope.

Toji’s trauma is the most pervasive one of course. He internalized all the trauma he received in his childhood, to the point it defined the way he viewed himself and the way he interacted with the world. He fought Gojo just to prove to the world and himself the worth that his family had stripped from him by fighting the epitome of the jujutsu world. Ironically, despite internalizing his lack of worth, he ended up affecting their world in a big, unchanging way that resonates to this day, and like trauma, his actions haunt the story. From his memories before his death, its seems he'd left his “pride” for her, meaning he’d been willing to put his past behind him and perhaps heal in an effort to build a life with her. Which is why later her death causes him to spiral, and in the wake of it, he sells Megumi off to the Zenin, thinking he’ll have a better life there because his CT, but then, when he’s about to die, backtracks on this, knowing his abusive family will probably not be that much better to his son. Despite this effort, his abandonment and irresponsibility, partly due to his own trauma, ultimately also wounded Megumi.

I suspect most of the Zenin suffered some kind of abuse even if it wasn’t as bad as what Toji, Maki and Mai went through given the way they behaved with each other, and obviously, the competitive and careless environment they grew up in. It’s also no coincidence that Naoya fought Choso, a character who appreciates his brothers so much, while Naoya was ready to fight them for the title of clan head and didn’t care about his father’s death. Of course it can be argued Naoya is a heartless character, but it could also be a display of how little he was motivated to care for people who never treated him well. Not only this, but his appreciation of power above everything is a direct manifestation of the clan's mindset. This is shown in his admiration of Toji, who, despite being cast aside by his family, makes such a big impression on Naoya that he considers him (and Gojo) the epitome of power in their world. His misogyny is also something he inherited from his family, so deeply rooted that he couldn’t conceive Maki matching Toji in power instead of him.

It’s so interesting that Gege chose the cause of this ancient clan’s downfall to be the very same abuse they’d perpetuated for, perhaps, countless generations. And it’s also incredibly ironic that the last person they should’ve been worried about, a weak girl in the eyes of this family, was the one to end them because she’d had enough of that pain, and most ironically is that she cut the cycle of abuse with the same violence that was inflicted on her and her sister.

#maki zenin #toji zenin #naoya zenin #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #jjk meta #jjk

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didwho · 1 year

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Hello! You mentioned looking for more info about labels and stuff, so, if you're interested, here are a few things we've personally learned from several years as a "Origins Are Weird And Confusing" system who has been in therapy for A While at this point, in case they're useful to you: - you deserve whatever support you need, regardless of origin or dx or anything else. Therapy, friends who listen to you and support you, academic or workplace accommodations, the right to be unhappy and having a shitty time--you don't have to prove anything to be allowed to want/have those things. - trauma is a subjective experience about how your brain processed something difficult--not about whether the events were 'objectively bad enough to count', because there is no externally defined threshold. (There are certain types of negative experiences that are statistically very likely to be traumatic to the average person, but that absolutely does not mean that only those types of experiences "count".) - if you are experiencing lasting negative impacts from something that happened to you, 1) there is nothing you need to prove in order to be 'allowed' to get support for it; 2) anyone telling you that it wasn't bad enough to affect you is wrong. (This is true even in contexts completely unrelated to syscourse, btw!) - DID in specific is predominantly associated with chronic trauma/adverse experiences during childhood. However, if you have struggles with mental health issues and feel like a system, your options are not just either "100% Definitely DID" or "You're Making It All Up". Whether the label that happens to fit you and your experiences best is DID or any other label (OSDD, MaDD, PTSD + system, "stuff is shitty rn" + system, "who even knows", etc.) is between yourselves and the people on your support team--it's not the business of internet discourse randos trying to tell you whether or not you're valid. (Besides, figuring out what labels fit you best often isn't actually easy or obvious right away, for any number of reasons--including the fact that sketchy and/or 'muted' memories of awful experiences is a big part of many CDDs--and that's okay. Really. You get to figure stuff out at your own pace.) - you are allowed to use/benefit from CDD management strategies and ways of thinking whether or not you have one. (People without ADHD can use bullet journals. DBT isn't just for people with BPD. Etc. If it helps you, the important part is that it helps you.) - don't let the haters get you down. (There are folks out there in syscourse with complex and nuanced opinions, legitimate critiques of communities, etc.! And also, there are sometimes people who just want to be 'allowed' to feel hateful towards someone, aren't in good faith, and aren't interested in listening. What those people think of you or say about you Does. Not. Matter. They are howling at the moon.)

Good luck out there <3

thank you so so so so so much for the kind words!! i preach all of the same things yet sometimes its hard to believe it for yourself, so i genuinely really appreciate the reassurance.

i am looking for a label as of currently because i dont really know whats what, yknow?? its hard for someone like me because despite preaching all of those things, i struggle to understand what defines trauma!

a lot of my headmates tend to agree we do have trauma, but those who dont tend to feel very strongly about not, so it kinda pushes that positivity away!

it really sucks to be both your own supporter and your own enemy at the same time (not calling my headmates enemies its just the best way i can describe it)!

the vents i post are usually when im feeling fired up or upset over things, and again, for that post/ rant i had earlier i spread misinfo, which i feel HORRIBLE about, but i will keep the post up because someone else made a point on it and had the patience to help educate me!

i am still learning and alla that, its hard to navigate this community because theres so many terms, and due to general amnesia, whether it be the fact im a system or due to my ADHD, its hard to get a grasp on all of those!

anyways, sorry for the ramble and thank you so much for the kind words! i hope you have an amazing day ❤️

#endo support #syscource #overall emotional support #d4 #ask

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strangenessbooks · 2 years

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The Bat-Man Recap #12

Robin is here. His name is taken from Robin hood (which is funny considering what the most famous Batman rip off took its inspiration from). I am dyslexic, ao the intro text sadly looks more like "anally", than what it actually says which is "an ally".

Another interesting note is that the location is a nameless town near a nameless city. As all origins of all comic book heroes do, this story involves death, so spoilers for an 80-year-old story. I do recommend reading this issue.

I do think it's funny that the Graysons are named before Martha Wayne was. Their names are literally Mary and John which is what everyone was called in the Westen world during this time.

The Bat Car is red again, though maybe this is just Bruce's car as he wasn't planning on Batmaning at the circus. I do think it's hilarious that Bruce is defined by that damn pipe.

I always want to defend Batman but this series of events is not the best way Robin has been introduced. This is a 12-page story so there's no room for nuance. Bruce hiding Dick from a mobster makes sense, but Bruce also tells him, he has devoted his life to "exterminate" criminals and then has Dick make an oath.

Due to the accusations that will be thrown against Batman in the coming years, I hesitate to use this word but we're all Batman fans here, so I will. Batman grooms Dick into becoming a killer. We don't see Robin's lust for revenge, he witnesses the death of his parents and then he's kidnapped by a man dressed like a bat. But also this is the 1940s and they don't want to actually deal with trauma. They want to make weird shit up instead e.g. "comics making people violent and gay."

As I have said in other recaps, morals have changed and what we expected of heroes has changed. The idea doing anything for revenge is common. Making an oath to get revenge against those who killed your loved ones, is still a common trope in adventure stories. Except the ending has changed. Our heroes learn the errors of their ways and that revenge doesn't bring satisfaction. Those stories did exist before and during this time, but the whole killing of someone can still be a just action. The disconnect is still odd to read from a modern perspective.

Reading these Batman comics actually makes me want to read old Pulp novels and other comics. This is turning into special interesting territory.

Back to this issue, where Bruce is making Dick get a job as a News Boy.

Christian Bale should have been Robin (Newies jokes are likely to be recurring). This has some detective work, though all it's done by Robin. Who knows what Bruce is doing while Robin sells Newspapers and gets bullied.

This Zucco who runs this "Arising Town" who ordered the hit on Dick's parents. Batman decides to do a bunch of fuckery to mess with this guy. Also, stop his protection racket and illegal casino.

This issue has especially inspired me to list all of Batman's crimes besides the whole being a vigilante thing (I'm not checking to see whether these were crimes in the 1940s, they are all morally wrong anyway).

Kidnapping

Tapering with a crime case.

Vandalism

Assault

Animal Cruelty.

Child Endangerment (though never told exactly how old Dick is).

Murder (multiple second and first degree).

Batman is all for torturing bats to prove a point. I guess at least it's not a Robin in there with him.

I haven't talked about how ridiculous the Robin costume is. Probably because it's not really fair to. Like being called Dick, the costume hasn't aged well. It was designed and coloured for 1940s comics. They were print limitations and it was done for cheap. I am reading from archived which has been remastered clearly (I couldn't find any inside pictures of this original comic). You wanted your characters to stand out and be seeable even when the detail is not there. Honestly, there are worse costume designs from comics at the time.

Robin immediately gets a kill count. He kills a whole two people in his first appearance and another definitely has brain damage. He also doesn't wait for Batman and goes straight for the attack so maybe he does have a blood lust, but this is months after "training".

Robin immediately gets his revenge having killed the man who killed his parents and framed someone else for the murder. He decided he likes being Robin so he's here for keeps.

There are a lot of great panels in this comic. I saved like 30th of them. This is a good comic to read if you just want a taste of the Golden Age. It doesn't have any gadgets but it has the usual mayhem. It is an important comic as is the first Robin appearance as well as this marking the first full year of Batman.

This is when Batman gets a whole comic book to himself. Detective Comics was made up of different stories, I'm not sure how I'll handle Batman #1.

#Batman #Robin #dick grayson #the bat-man recap

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redrum-district · 1 year

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My philosophy on closure is there is no such thing as closure, or at least, something we define as closure ; the pursuit of these matters to attain the hopes that it'd give us a reason to forget, to achieve happiness, only to question what would happen if these events hadn't happened, an endless series of `what if's`, despite being the sum of our whole experiences — both good and negative. Now I'm not saying this is an excuse to abuse, or to be abused of course, nor is this a convoluted way to just blame someone for their abuse, because trauma does echo. It hurts, and leaves lasting wound, but like a wound, it heals and scars over — but it is never quite exactly the same. And that is ok, I'd like to think. Not that the experience happened, but that we can heal, for time's arrow marches on.

Some heal slower than others, others quicker than what others think is ok, it's all at our own pace . . . but I like to think that pursuit of closure can let wounds fester. It can bleed into unresolved trauma, which just continues to cycle, until the ouroboros chokes on its own tail, or finally lets go. I hope I can let it go.

A series of why's, over and over again, for an answer that can be as meaningless as `good intention`, revenge, outright malice, or just because. I had to learn those last two when trying to find closure, because in the end, there is just. . . no deep down.

You are just you. Others are just others. Changing faces constantly to adjust to the situation, when we aren't as deep or profound as we'd like to think we are — this is coming from someone who knows they're a glass that's pretty much empty, no half full or half empty. Maybe I'm just shallow, or maybe I'm just severely mentally ill — maybe I'm a mix of both ; a possible personality disorder, paired with trauma and illnesses makes it easy to think and overthink. Of course, it isn't bad being shallow ; you just fill with what you can, and manage as you are, but do you fill it with good? Or do you it with anger? A mix of both is good I think, we can't always be perfect. Of course, mental illness isn't exactly helpful, and complicates matters . . . Sometimes it's just like a leak in the shallow glass we hold, but it's with healing and support that it can plug the gap — not fully close it, and there are days it'll spill out. Closure is defined as closing something, which implies ending it, but we can't close the book on mental illness and trauma — we can only manage and heal to the best of our abilities.

Regardless. A stupid metaphor, but it makes sense I think. I hope I'm getting this point across, if I didn't lose anyone in this philosophical nonsense.

The pursuit of closure nearly drove me to the end, over and over again, because I thought I could finally be happy if I knew why. Then the just because and why's came. The goal post just kept moving further and further, all to find the true happiness I sought — until I just realized : happiness isn't a thing. Or at least, how we view it, like closure.

Funny how it ties together like that. It's just the positive and the negative, not happiness. It's the pursuit of it that kills us, because we view it as a lasting feeling, which just amplifies the negativity when it flees from our grasp. It's commercialized, sold to us, `till we're back at square one.

I'll never get closure, and that is okay — just as long as I march along. My abuse will never be justified, and the me that could have existed is just fantasy. I refuse to overthink it, all to answer some question with no true meaning.

Thank god for therapy at least. Just take care of yourself, and do what you can for you — but without entirely selfish pursuits. Be selfish enough to have boundaries, but treat others with kindness. It is balance. But remember, we're all healing from something ; I just hope that the pursuit of closure just doesn't consume you like it nearly did me.

#kni speaks #wow this is so deep (sarcasm)#but yea #i've been thinking for a few days after a certain situation.... thought i'd get closure coming out but #no #i still don't have answers #and that's okay #i don't need them so long as i can fill in the gap #actuallytraumatized #long post #text post #ramble #my philosophy

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translationandbetrayals · 5 months

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Silly but adorable office workers?!

My blog today will follow the line of the first one I did, in which I mentioned that I was slowly getting back into watching anime after some events in my life that left me feeling unenthusiastic about everything. Since I was looking to watch short and preferably chill anime, a couple of friends recommended me 'Atarashii Joushi wa Do Tennen' or 'My New Boss is Goofy', as known in English. Truth be told, I had only seen some images of it on social media, so I had no idea what it was about. Looking at the cover, I thought it might be a Yaoi or BL, as I like to call it (maybe I’ll talk about this in the future, hehe). To avoid any spoilers, I decided to look it up and start watching it immediately without reading any synopsis.

But, before I get into what My New Boss is Goofy is about, I’ll give a little info about its production:This anime is produced by the studio A-1 Pictures and it’s based on the manga of the same name, written and illustrated by Ichikawa Dan. It's worth noting that, as of the date I am writing this, the anime is still airing, currently having 8 episodes, with new ones being uploaded every week to your preferred anime platform, hehe.

For those interested (and as is customary in my posts), I'll provide a little summary:

The story begins with Momose, a 26-year-old office worker who decided to change jobs due to the abuse he suffered from his previous boss. Because of the trauma this situation caused on him, Momose becomes very anxious on his first day at his new job, thinking that his new boss, Shirasaki, might be the same. However, Momose realizes that Shirasaki is not only a very kind, attentive, and excellent worker and boss but also very goofy person (as the title says), allowing him to feel a great relief.

Honestly, I fell in love with this story from the first episode. The way the characters are involved in situations, as ordinary as they can be in an office job, but at the same time so funny due to how the protagonists face them, made me smile many times. Also, seeing how both Momose and Shirasaki complement each other: on one hand, Momose slowly overcoming his past trauma with Shirasaki’s help, allowing him to get over the fear of trying new things and experiences in his work that he couldn't before, and on the other hand, Shirasaki being understood, despite his clumsiness, and always supported by Momose. Another point that I appreciate a lot is that, despite the story being defined as a comedy, it has several emotional moments (yes, I cried a couple of times), bringing a lot of warmth to the soul.

Even though it hasn't finished airing yet, I will continue watching it, and I won't get tired of recommending it to anyone who needs a break from the difficulties of life. As a plus, in the Spanish fansub, they use Chilean expressions to portray the use of different Japanese dialects in the anime, so it makes it extra funny if you watch it subbed in Spanish. How I wish I could have a working environment like this in the future!

-Francisca Rivera C.

#Anime #Japan #personalstory

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rpbetter · 3 years

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PTSD or C-PTSD?

Hopefully, you’re not one of the muns out there who has slapped a “PTSD” label on your muse(s) for drama only. You are, instead, treating this topic with respect and the realism that comes with that, not only having it accurately impact your muse when it’s convenient and “fun” for you. Well, that respect and realism includes actually knowing and applying the correct diagnosis and symptoms as well.

In your defense, if you have misdiagnosed your muse, common terminology in media and even among trauma sufferers is often just the blanket-statement of PTSD. Also, as the abbreviations imply, they do have things in common.

To help, I’m going to break down their differences and similarities, then provide some research links including personal accounts to help you get started.

PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder most often comes from a single traumatic event.

What can be a traumatic event can differ widely, and reasonably so; we’re not all the same person, processing events and emotions the same way, or with the same formative life experiences. What might cause PTSD to develop in one person might be processed by another as a frightening or painful incident, but not one that has left them with PTSD. The symptoms, individual, and incident have to all be taken into account.

That being said, some examples would include:

having a severe accident

being mugged or in a store that is robbed

physical or sexual assault

being involved in a shooting, in any way

death of a loved one

an unexpected explosion or sudden, natural event like a mudslide or tornado

a severe natural or man-made disaster (building collapse, mass flooding)

events outside of oneself like witnessing a violent assault, murder, deadly car accidents, terminal illness or injury

Again, it is important to remember that individuals react in individual ways, and as such, their symptoms can express with some variation. Don’t just mimic the same presentations you’ve seen in media, research a variety of real experiences.

However they manifest, key symptoms of PTSD include:

Re experiencing the event by way of nightmares, flashbacks, and repetitive, intrusive, and intensely upsetting images, thoughts, and sensations. This is the most common symptom of PTSD, in which the person involuntarily and vividly relives the trauma.

Avoidance and emotional numbing, going to extremes to avoid not just potential triggers, but also finding any way possible to push memories of the event out of their minds. When the latter occurs and is extreme, the person is trying to feel nothing at all, seeking a path to emotional numbness. That can include substance use and abuse, self-harming, and other harmful behaviors.

Feeling on edge (”Hyperarousal”) is the ultimate inability to relax, constantly looking for threats, perceiving threats that are not to be found, and being easily startled. Some of the common issues with being locked into this state include difficulty sleeping or even insomnia, severe irritability and irrational seeming aggression, angry or aggressive outbursts, and finding concentration difficult to impossible.

Some other things that might develop with PTSD are:

Other mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, and/or phobias

as said above, harmful behaviors like self-harming and substance abuse

physical symptoms like headaches, stomach and digestive upsets, dizziness, and generalized pain

Like all disorders, PTSD is complex. I, again, implore you to research not only information put out by psychiatric professionals but also the experiences of real people.

C-PTSD

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when a person experiences repeated, consistent trauma, especially at an early age.

That doesn’t mean that adults cannot and do not develop C-PTSD, they do, and for a variety of reasons; adult sufferers have the same points of origin in the diagnosis as children do. Additionally, it may take years for someone to seek help, feel their symptoms are severe enough to need to, or be able to extricate themselves from the situation in order to receive help of any kind. They may be an adult by the time this happens.

The important thing to remember about C-PTSD is that it isn’t a single traumatic incident, and you are more likely to have this form of PTSD if the trauma occurred early in life, it was inflicted by someone close to you, and/or was inflicted by someone you still see on a regular basis.

Some good examples to give you the idea include:

ongoing domestic violence

child abuse and/or neglect

being raised by a parent with a severe disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder

repeatedly witnessing violence or abuse

torture

kidnapping

being a part of a cult

being a victim of human trafficking or slavery

It isn’t “complex” because it is always across the board “more severe.” This isn’t simply “even worse PTSD,” and shouldn’t be treated like that. Its source is more complex, the development and embedded varieties of its impact are, and the ongoing treatment is.

Particularly when C-PTSD occurs in childhood, there are lasting effects on a person’s development. They have developed in an environment that constantly has them highly stressed both physically and psychologically, and in which they learn many ways of coping, lessening or negating harm, and so on, that leave them less than optimally functional and integrated in life outside the situation.

While the person has the symptoms of PTSD, they will additionally exhibit:

difficulty developing and/or maintaining relationships of any sort

intense, consistent feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt

problems managing and even understanding their own emotions

suicidal thoughts

dissociation

increased risk-taking behaviors

Those who have had their actual development rerouted to deal with the situations that generate C-PTSD have a higher incidence of physical symptoms, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, and are at higher risk of repeat victimization.

They might go for some time without realizing that their daily experiences are neither the norm nor something sustainable, or how atypical their traumatic experiences were compared to those around them. It can sometimes take a serious life-event (suicide attempt, drug rehab, losing too many jobs, homelessness, or finding themselves in a genuine, loving relationship) for them to fully recognize something is wrong, and even then, their feelings of worthlessness, ingrained lack of self-confidence, and belief that they don’t deserve any better can prevent them from seeking help outside of themselves.

They may also believe that something is just “wrong” with them, that they are innately messed up, or that they have a different mental illness. And the unwillingness to open up to people, relieve events, etc. can additionally leave them unwilling to seek or continue care when they believe they have a different, underlying problem. Again, choosing to deal with this themselves through self-isolating, self-medicating, and seeking only relationships and jobs that will work within the framework of the disorder as it effects them.

Additionally, many sufferers of both C-PTSD and PTSD experience the same sense of societal shaming surrounding mental illness. They may struggle with denial, and refuse to seek assistance due to the stigma and all it entails.

Shared aspects of PTSD and C-PTSD

They’re both, obviously, severe, life-altering trauma experiences and resultant disorders. They both easily make the sufferer feel like the trauma and disorder is impossible or undesirable for others to deal with, that they are not worthy of being in close relationships, among many other similarities in experience living with either disorder regardless of widely varying traumas.

They share psychological and physical impacts, and there is a lot of overlap.

The core symptoms of PTSD are shared with C-PTSD:

relieving the trauma(s)

avoiding and emotional numbing

hyperarousal

The shared physical symptoms can include:

headaches

nausea, stomach ache, and digestive upsets

difficulty sleeping and insomnia

sweating, clamminess

chest pain and difficulty breathing

manifestations of low-grade to severe pain

dizziness

Shared behaviors can include:

difficulty concentrating to outright dissociating

self-harm

substance abuse

being hyper-vigilant, easily startled

may seem to be over-reactive to/in situations that others are perceiving as normal or not that big of a deal due to lower perception of personal emotions and lower emotional regulation

including explosive anger or defensiveness

development of anxiety and depression disorders, the symptoms thereof

Again, both PTSD and C-PTSD are serious disorders caused by trauma, and they both need to be treated with respect and accuracy when written into a character - be that an OC or a canon character. It is unfortunate, but these symptoms and the realities of life with either disorder are often portrayed badly in wider media, and the RPC often imitates what it sees.

PTSD and C-PTSD, like the incidents of trauma that created them (rape, child abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, etc.), are not a plot-point, other point of interest, or a character trait, let alone a “character flaw.” They’re not something you only bring up for attention, to get your muse out of a bad spot, or to add dramatics when you’re bored in a thread. Neither are they something you need to attach to your muse simply to give them A Label. These are, I cannot stress this enough, serious topics, and they deserve to be treated that way.

You can do that by defining which variety of PTSD your muse may actually have, then adding research of both the disorder and how it impacts a variety of real people. Making your muse more realistic and being dedicated to sticking with it.

Below are some links to get you started on research! Please note, the real stories, as well as some information, may be graphic or triggering. Read responsibly.

C-PTSD

Out of the Storm - Personal Stories of C-PTSD

-Contains real stories from those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Their experiences have a huge range; bullying, childhood neglect and abuse, and sexual abuse and assault.

I Have Post-Traumatic Stress and Didn’t Know It - and You Might, Too

-Personal story of living, unknowingly, with C-PTSD. An especially great read for writers who have muses who hold a lot of responsibility in their daily lives, who may not realize their experiences are C-PTSD related, etc. Contains discussion of parental emotional abuse, mental illness and childhood trauma, and rape.

What is C-PTSD?

-Excellent resource for detailed breakdowns of C-PTSD giving without a clinical, impersonal tone. The definitions of the disorder itself, symptoms and how it manifests and impacts daily life, and much more. A highly recommended source, and one with further resources on-site.

11 “Habits” of People Living with C-PTSD

-Short breakdown of C-PTSD, followed by snippets of specific experiences in the words of those living with the disorder, a relatively short article.

PTSD

Rebecca’s Story: Living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

-Personal story of a woman living with PTSD from, in short, being stalked by a co-worker. It’s an excellent article, particularly for how mental illnesses sufferers are treated and portrayed, and how that adds another layer of difficulty to their lives. Obviously, this may be triggering to those who have been stalked, and includes mentions of graphic threats.

My experience of PTSD

-A personal story of medical trauma resulting in PTSD. Many of the PTSD stories you’ll find are from women and involve sexual trauma or harassment, in trying to find a variety of stories, I’ve found this one. By this point, you should be noticing many similarities in these stories, regardless of specific trauma.

Leaving the Battlefield: Soldier Shares Story of PTSD

-So many muses experience PTSD through battle-related incidents, and those depictions are not always accurate in media. This is a personal story about one soldier’s experiences. His perception of PTSD, denial, and shame at having the disorder is something that echoes throughout the previous accounts. So do the similarities of daily struggles to maintain to regular life. Before anyone wants to get Tumblr Nasty about it: there isn’t any “war propaganda” present in this story, the location of it is irrelevant to what you’re supposed to be learning here. It’s literally this man’s experience, don’t.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

-Breakdown of symptoms and causes from Mayo Clinic, so obviously, this is more clinical-minded. Particularly useful for its lists of things like “symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood” and increased risk-factor for other disorders.

I hope this helps you to assess and write more accurately your muses with C-PTSD or PTSD, and to consider these things more fully when having your muse experience a traumatic event in your plots.

-------

Please, remember when you are reading these accounts, and anywhere you might encounter PTSD sufferers; these are REAL PEOPLE. Treat them and their stories with respect. You’ll note that, unlike other posts on this blog, I didn’t advise you to approach the source. Many trauma sufferers won’t be comfortable sharing their experiences for the sake of your creative hobby. You may, at your respectful discretion, discuss this with close friends you know to be impacted by PTSD, just keep in mind that respect, discretion, and only bringing the topic up when they are comfortable with it, with specific questions, is necessary here. These are not fictional characters! Do not write someone’s real experiences into your character, thread, etc. verbatim, that’s...fucked up. Thanks in advance for being responsible, respectful adults, from a real life PTSD sufferer. -Vespertine

#rp help #rp advice #muse development #character development #writing advice #muses with ptsd #muses with cptsd #cptsd and ptsd post #muse inspiration #diverse muses #neurodiverse characters #rp better

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copperbadge · 3 years

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Narrative Necessity

Almost since the pandemic began I’ve been wondering what the end of it will look like. Not so much out of hope or fear, but just because there’s no roadmap for this, and I wonder about stuff like that.

I used to think about how we would open up society again. I looked at the 1918 pandemic, which wasn’t perfect but was informative. The problem with that pandemic is that it happened alongside the end of WWI, which had an additional psychological and economic impact. So turns out while you can learn from the past, you can’t really map the future onto it. Especially since they never had a vaccine -- they just had to die their way out of it.

But I learned enough that I felt steady there, and now I’ve been thinking about the emotional reopening. All along we’ve talked about the trauma of pandemic, quarantine, and disease, all of which are distinct from each other. And I started to become aware that everyone was talking about pandemic trauma but not many were talking about what addressing that trauma might look like. After all, trauma can be treated, and ideally should be.

As I began reading about how we might deal with what we’ve been through, a theme began to form. Trauma can be thought of as a disruption in “meaning making” -- it upends how we see ourselves and the world, and can make us question what a meaningful existence even is. When our sense of self and reality is threatened like that, our nervous system treats it like a physical threat. Stresses become more difficult to cope with because our resource base is depleted. A state of being, like loneliness or fear, can become a trauma simply because our mental barriers are down. Actual stressful events can be even worse. And we have all been in this vulnerable state for fifteen months. Even people who won’t admit we are -- perhaps especially them.

Here’s the fascinating part. After this disruption of meaning happens, we reassert our identity in a very human way: through story. Individually, we create a history of the event, which helps us to layer meaning over it. This is where “bar stories” come from, when you sit around with friends and trade stories about your version of a shared trauma, like (for my generation) where you were on 9/11. Socially, we create a mytharc in which we were all players, in order to re-establish mass identity. (We also tend to become nationalist authoritarians, but that’s been brought up elsewhere.)

This is an extremely simplistic view of trauma recovery. There are a lot of other factors involved and just “telling a story” isn’t necessarily healing from trauma. But two vital aspects of healing from trauma are being able to be open about it, and through that being able to create a narrative that doesn’t just concern the event but encompasses it as part of a larger identity.

It’s unfortunate that culturally, that narrative will probably be crafted by the media. Less unfortunate is the fact that we all have our own personal broadcast networks now, and a lot of influential people across social media have a chance to form alternative narratives to the mainstream. Most fortunate of all, fandom -- as contentious and disunified as it is -- is intimately familiar with story-making. Not just content and craft, but the ability to take a narrative and rework it into something, if not brighter or better, then at least more personally meaningful. We are some of the best qualified to create a story that defines a response to a disaster, and I think it’s highly likely that we will do far better than many in doing so with the pandemic.

At the height of the pandemic I didn’t like to write about it in fiction. It felt tacky and distasteful, even as I acknowledged that it wasn’t actually either one of those things. I think now that I simply wasn’t ready to begin processing the trauma. I think this is also why lately I’ve had such linear, narrative dreams -- like anyone, I have a high percentage of dreams that are sheer nonsense, but I’ve also always had dreams with reasonably logical storylines, and lately I’ve had a lot more of them than normal for me. The pandemic isn’t over by a long shot but the end seems to be at least visible, and I think my subconscious is signaling that it’s ready now to begin creating a story around it.

Certainly once the pandemic is over, that doesn’t mean the things that made me hesitant to write about it -- the millions of deaths, the economic hardship, the mass isolation, the visibly widening holes in our safety nets -- are going to disappear. But the survivors, including people who underwent deep hardships, who had losses much greater than mine, are going to have to come through it somehow. Better with a story that helps us to place it in our lives than without. A lot of people who denied the pandemic or refuse to acknowledge its impact are as a result going to spend the rest of their lives trapped in the trauma of it.

I suppose the point of it all is that it’s okay to talk about this, and it will be okay to talk about it in the past tense once it’s over. It’s okay to write about it, even to write fiction about it. It’s okay to write fiction about yourself and how you coped or are coping. There is a time of stories coming and I think perhaps soon we should begin to consider what we want ours each to be.

(If you’re interested in the reading I did, the main articles that influenced the writing of this are here, here, and here.)

#storytelling #narrative #pandemic #trauma #pandemic trauma

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tyrannuspitch · 3 years

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Jumping off @kidrat ’s recent post on JKR, British transphobia, and transphobia against transmasculine people, after getting a bit carried away and too long to add as a comment:

A major, relatively undiscussed event in JKR’s descent into full terfery was this tweet:

[image id: a screenshot of a tweet from JK Rowling reading: “’People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”

Rowling attaches a link to an article titled: “Opinion: Creating a more equal post-COVID-19 world for people who menstruate” /end id]

This can seem like a pretty mundane TERF talking point, just quibbling over language for the sake of it, but I think it’s worth discussing, especially in combination with the idea that cis women like JKR see transmasculine transition as a threat to their womanhood. (Recite it with horror: ”If I were young now, I might’ve transitioned...”)

A lot of people, pro- or anti-transphobe, will make this discussion about whether the term “woman” should include trans women or not, and how cis women are hostile to the inclusion of trans women. And that’s absolutely true. But the actual language cis women target is very frequently being changed for the benefit of trans men, not trans women, and most of them know this.

Cis people are used to having their identities constantly reaffirmed and grounded in their bodies. A lot of cis women, specifically, understand their social and physical identities as women as being defined by pain: misogynistic oppression is equated to the pains of menstruation or childbirth, and both are seen as the domain of cis women. They’re something cis women can bond over and build a “sisterhood” around, and the more socially aware among them can recognise that cis women’s pain being taken less seriously by medicine is not unrelated to their oppression. However, in the absence of any trans perspectives, these conversations can also easily become very territorial and very bioessentialist.

Therefore... for many cis women, seeing “female bodies” described in gender neutral language feels like stripping their pain of its meaning, and they can become very defensive and angry.

And the consequences for transmasculine people can be extremely dangerous.

Not only do transmasculine people have an equal right to cis women to define our bodies as our own... Using inclusive language in healthcare is about more than just emotional validation.

The status quo in healthcare is already non-inclusive. When seeking medical help, trans people can expect to be misgendered and to have to explain how our bodies work to the doctors. We risk harassment, pressure to detransition, pressure to sterilise ourselves, or just being outright turned away. And the conversation around pregnancy and abortion in particular is heaving with cisnormativity - both feminist and anti-feminist cis women constantly talk about pregnancy as a quintessentially female experience which men could never understand.

Using gender-neutral language is the most basic step possible to try and make transmasculine people safer in healthcare, by removing the idea that these are “women’s spaces”, that men needing these services is impossible, and that safety depends on ideas like “we’re all women here”. Not institutionally subjecting us to misgendering and removing the excuse to outright deny us treatment is, again, one of the most basic steps that can be taken. It doesn’t mean we’re allowed comfort, dignity or full autonomy, just that one major threat is being addressed. The backlash against this from cis women is defending their poorly developed senses of self... at the cost of most basic dignity and safety for transmasculine people.

Ironically, though transphobic cis women feel like decoupling “women’s experiences” from womanhood is decoupling them from gendered oppression, transmasculine people experience even more marginalisation than cis women. Our rates of suicide and assault are even higher. Our health is even less researched than cis women’s. Our bodies are even more strictly controlled. Cis women wanting to define our bodies on their terms is a significant part of that. They hold the things we need hostage as “women’s rights”, “women’s health”, “women’s discussions” and “support for violence against women”, and demand we (re-)closet ourselves or lose all of their solidarity.

Fundamentally, the problem is that transphobic cis women are possessive over their experiences and anyone who shares them. Because of their binary understanding of gender, they’re uncomfortable with another group sharing many of their experiences but defining themselves differently. They’re uncomfortable with transmasculine people identifying “with the enemy” instead of “with their sisters”, and they’re even more uncomfortable with the idea that there are men in the world who they oppress, and not the other way around. “Oppression is for women; you can’t call yourself a man and still claim women’s experiences. Pregnancy is for women; if you want to be a man so badly why haven’t already you done something about having a woman’s body? How dare you abandon the sisterhood while inhabiting one of our bodies?”

Which brings me back to the TERF line about how “If I were young now, I might have transitioned.”

I’m not saying Rowling doesn’t actually feel any personal connection to that narrative - but it is a standard line, and it’s standard for a reason. Transphobic cis women really believe that there is nothing trans men go through that cis women don’t. They equate our dysphoria to internalised misogyny, eating disorders, sexual abuse or other things they see as “female trauma”. They equate our desire to transition to a desire to escape. They want to “help us accept ourselves” and “save us” from threats to their sense of identity. The fact is, this is all projection. They refuse to consider that we really have a different internal experience from them.

There’s also a marked tendency among less overtly transphobic cis women, even self-proclaimed trans allies, to make transphobia towards trans men about cis women.

Violence against trans men is chronically misreported and redefined as “violence against women”. In activist spaces, we’re frequently told that any trauma we have with misogyny is “misdirected” and therefore “not really about us”. If we were women, we would’ve been “experiencing misogyny”, but men can’t do that, so we should shut up and stop “talking over women”. (Despite the surface difference of whether they claim to affirm our gender, this is extremely similar to how TERFs tell us that everything we experience is “just misogyny”, but that transmasculine identity is a delusion that strips us of the ability to understand gender or the right to talk about it.)

I have personally witnessed an actual N*zi writing an article about how trans men are “destroying the white race” by transitioning and therefore becoming unfit to carry children, and because the N*zi had misgendered trans men in his article, every response I saw to it was about “men controlling women’s bodies”.

All a transphobe has to do is misgender us, and the conversation about our own oppression is once again about someone else.

Transphobes will misgender us as a form of violence, and cis feminist “allies” will perpetuate our misgendering for rhetorical convenience. Yes, there is room to analyse how trans men are treated by people who see us as women - but applying a simple “men oppressing women” dynamic that erases our maleness while refusing to even name transphobia or cissexism is not that. Trans men’s oppression is not identical to cis women’s, and forcing us to articulate it in ways that would include cis women in it means we cannot discuss the differences.

It may seem like I’ve strayed a long way from the original topic, and I kind of have, but the central reason for all of these things is the same:

Trans men challenge cis women’s self-concept. We force them to actually consider what manhood and womanhood are and to re-analyse their relationship to oppression, beyond a simple binary patriarchy.

TERFs will tell you themselves that the acknowledgement of trans people, including trans men, is an “existential threat” that is “erasing womanhood” - not just our own, but cis women’s too. They hate the idea that biology doesn’t determine gender, and that gender does not have a strict binary relationship to oppression. They’re resentful of the idea that they could just “become men”, threatened by the assertion that doing so is not an escape, and completely indignant at the idea that their cis womanhood could give them any kind of power. They are, fundamentally, desperate not to have to face the questions we force them to consider, so they erase us, deflect from us, and talk over us at every opportunity.

Trans men are constantly redefined against our wills for the benefit of cis womanhood.

TL;DR:

Cis women find transmasculine identity threatening, because we share experiences that they see as foundational to their womanhood

The fact that transphobes target inclusive language in healthcare specifically is not a mistake - They do not want us to be able to transition safely

Cis women are uncomfortable acknowledging transphobia, so they make discussion of trans men’s oppression about “womanhood” instead

This can manifest as fully denying that trans men experience our own oppression, or as pretending trans men’s experiences are identical to cis women’s in every way

#transphobia #transmasculinity #transandrophobia #this could maybe do with one more proofread but i've spent way too long on this so whatever!

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