#its also hard to confront the fact that while i dont want to keep this mindset

[adisappeareance]

nobody told me this but been going through so much lately that I realized that having the mindset of that you´re going to die young, so very soon and that you have very little time left probably put me in a permanent state of like. mourning? and that left me with...big troubles

#noone to talk about it beause also noone gets it #its not even suic1dal ideation. just feeling that you have no time left. but been feeling like this since i was very little #so its probably one of the big causes for all my present day problems #its also hard to confront the fact that while i dont want to keep this mindset #living any other way feels so unnatural #i have no sense of future planning or projection. i cant see anything happening to me ever #i dont care much? i dont have a big reason to live or even a small one i just :| my way thru life #ngl even if i find something that makes me feel some kinda way at the end of the day it feels pointless in the negative way #im curious about what kinda future i could have though ngl. with the choices i make every day i cant rly imagine it so whatever #personal

[rainstops]

thank you for saving me

alhaitham x reader angst/comfort

summary: you and alhaitham clearly liked eachother. but fate did not have in store for you what you had hoped for.

a/n: M-A-M-A B-O-Y MAMAS BOY, MAMAS BOY.

warnings: arranged marriage, you argue with your mom

words: 2.4k

you and alhaitham always got along really great. some people would say that youre the only one who he ever really got a long with. always kind and respectful to you.

kaveh was the first one to notice alhaithams blatant favoritism towards you. whenever he tried to bring it up, alhaitham quickly shut him down. but this time he wasnt going to let that happen.

"so? when are you going to ask [name] out?", he immediately asked when alhaitham walked through the door of their shared apartment. "ask her out? why would i do that?", alhaitham was quick to answer. "come on dude, everyone knows that you like her. "like her? sure i like her as a friend", alhaitham hung up his coat.

a moment of silence followed.

"oh so you wouldnt mind if i asked her out?", kaveh asked. alhaithams head shot into his direction. no words needed. the expression on alhaithams face was far more than enough for kaveh. "Ha, see you do like her!" "whatever im going to sleep"

kaveh was right though. alhaitham did hold feelings in his heart that he didnt understand very well.

you on the other hand also just arrived at home. you took off your shoes and were immediately confronted with a "[name] we have to talk", of course from no one less than your mother. you tried to avoid her as much as you could, but with how controlling she is, that was more than just hard.

you both sat down at the kitchen table, and your mother immediately started talking. and you wished you wouldnt have come home that night.

"so you know that the fact that our family keeps on living, and keeping up our status is important, right?", your mother started. she had been giving you the same talk lately over and over again. she kept reminding you about how you had to get a boyfriend soon and get married soon. for archons sake, you were 19!

your family had a fairly high status in sumeru, and your mother lived for continuing the family. she had an early marriage and an early pregnancy, just to ensure that the family reproduces.

"mom get to the point", you sighed. you couldnt hear the same talk over and over again. she would just tell you how its important that you have children and its for the family and-

"i've arranged a marriage for you"

what? she what?

"you did WHAT?", you slammed your hands on the table and stood up from your chair. "[name] you know its just so-" "i dont CARE what its about!" "now how about you sit back down and listen to me. ive found you a lovely guy whos just a year older-" "no, how about you listen to ME for this first time in your life? all the time you were trying to control my life and manipulate me and you kept telling me over and over again how its 'for the family'!, well in all honesty fuck this family!", all your pent up anger from your nineteen years of living was now let out at the person who caused it all.

"young lady that is no way to talk to your mother, and especially no way to talk about your family!", your mother stood up from her chair as well. "youre not fucking listening to me! i am not getting married!", you screamed while putting your shoes back on.

you stormed out the door, although you were very aware that she was going to get whatever she wants one way or another.

it doesnt matter. she never even mattered. you needed to go somewhere, somewhere else than that place you lived in. and you knew exactly where.

kaveh opened the door for you. "alhaitham theres someone here for you!" he shouted through the whole apartment. its not like you were never here for you. whenever your mother got too much, you slept at alhaithams place. kaveh also told you a million times already that youre the only one who alhaitham allows to sleep in his room.

"same fights as always?", kaveh asked. you shook your head. "worse" "worse? what did she do?", alhaitham was suddenly standing right in the hallway. it took you everything you had to stop you from ugly crying right then and there.

you were still mad. you were always gonna be mad, but the fact that you almost sprinted all the way to the shared apartment, took away a little of the rage.

"its kind of really hard to say", you really didnt want to say it. it for some reason felt even more wrong to tell alhaitham, but you didnt know why. "i dont think theres really anything that we dont expect from your mother by now", alhaitham said looking at kaveh, and then back at you. your eyes started watering. not at the thought of having to say it out loud, but at the thought of having to spend most of your life with someone you didnt even know.

"she arranged a marriage for me", you said. your words were followed by a long silence.

alhaitham looked irrated at you. or maybe he was angry. who knows. kaveh on the other hand was shocked. his eyes wide, and lips slightly apart. never of them knew what to say.

"youre kidding", alhaitham said, more wishing than actually asking. his voice was barely above a whisper. you could only shake your head.

a shaky, long sigh escaped your lips, and even though you didnt want it, the tears started falling. your body tensed up, and you could feel alhaithams arms wrap right around you. all you could do was lay your head onto his chest, and kaveh went to grab some water for you.

the rest, you dont remember.

you woke up, in alhaithams bed. the apartment sounded empty. what time was it? you honestly couldnt care less about going to school today. you didnt want to go anywhere today. but you also couldnt stay here another night, that was decided. one way or another you had to confront your mother, and who knows, maybe you could also convince her to stray from her plan.

but you knew, you could not convince her.

you discussed and fought with her for quite a long time.

"youre getting married to that man, and if i have to drag you to that wedding. besides everything is already paid for"

"wait- already paid for? when is the wedding anyways?", "next month"

without another word, you stood up from the kitchen table and went to your room. you threw yourself onto your bed.

your body felt so heavy, and especially your heart. your eyes felt as if they were going to close any second, but you didnt feel like you could sleep. you were angry, but you were also disappointed and sad. disappointed in your mother, that she saw you as nothing else other than an a way to extend the family. and disappointed in yourself, for not being able to convince her.

well at least you still had alhaitham. he was the best friend you could ever ask for, although you ever wondered if you felt more towards him than just friendship.

your question was answered pretty quickly. you had no idea what had caused it. if it was the upcoming marriage, or just because he was always there for you. but recently you wanted to be closer to him than before. you wanted to always stay by his side, but maybe you just wanted to avoid being home.

but alhaitham... was it just an illusion or was he getting more and more distant by the minute? he used to always make time for you. if you were struggling with something, he stopped what he was doing just to help you. he wanted to talk to you over all of the people he knew. he talked to you daily, but now the days you two talked were moving apart further and further.

what was happening?

"alhaitham can we talk?", you carefully asked, not wanting to disturb him. this was one of the first time you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him. "not right now [name], im busy", he replied, not even bothering to take his eyes off the paper he was working on.

"but its kind of important...", you tried again. suddenly he slapped his paper down onto the table. "what is it?", he finally looked at you for once.

you sat down right across from him. "well... how do i start this" "just say it, i have important things to do"

... were you not important to him anymore?

"alhaitham, i feel like we are drifting apart", those were the best words you could find to describe what you were feeling. "so what? its not like we're a couple or anything" "so i dont matter to you at all"

a moment of silence. thats not true, is what alhaitham wanted to say.

"alhaitham dont ignore me" "im not ignoring you" "then answer me"

"fuck [name] just- JUST FUCKING FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE"

huh wait what? did he just say that?

"did i just say that...?", he mumbled to himself, kind off hoping you would hear it, but you were already out of the room, heading home. your mind was blank. where did you go wrong? what did you do that couldve possibly made him act this way?

alhaitham got home, closed the door, and sunk into the couch. his hands were traveling through his hair, and he was rubbing his face as if he was trying to rub away the words he said.

"woah what happened to you", kaveh asked as he walked past him, just wanting to get a glass of water.

"nothing", alhaitham mumbled, his hands still in his face. "doesnt look like nothing to me", kaveh replied. honestly he shouldve just dropped it right then and there.

"kaveh what do you think gives you the right to nag me like theres no tomorrow?" kaveh just stared. "seriously man what is up with you recently? is it because of... you know, [name] getting married?", it almost felt hard to say. his heart dropped to his stomach and a shudder went down his spine, hearing kavehs words.

the reminder that you were getting married takes him right back to the day when you told him whats happening. he couldnt help his heart feeling like it was getting ripped apart, like its nothing more than just a piece of paper. from that day on he couldnt concentrate on anything. everything felt like a reminder of you, everything reminded him of the daggers that were send through his heart of the mere sight of you.

so he did the only thinkable thing, which was to distance himself. maybe his heart and mind would go back to the way things used to be. but everyday where he would be spending less time with you, felt like someone was taking half his soul away. he was even less focused on things, and was living in a trance, like a depressed man. but in no way was he trying to hurt you. no that was even worse than anything he could think off.

everything felt like it circled around you. it almost felt like...

"it feels a little like youre living for [name], doesnt it?", kaveh suggested. yeah exactly that.

kaveh sat down next to him. "alhaitham, do you remember the exact date [name]'s wedding is?" alhaitham looked at kaveh. "its tomorrow, alhaitham"

wait wait, no, when did time pass so fast? you cant get married. no way.

you were standing there, in your white dress. it wasnt really yours. it was your mothers old dress, meaning you did not choose your own dress. but maybe it was better like that, since you didnt want to get married anyway. the reception wasnt very pretty, it almost looked like a church. but maybe only you felt this way. you didnt want to be here. you didnt want to be anywhere. well there was one place that couldve been nice. you wanted to be wherever alhaitham is right now, but he didnt seem to want you arround.

you were staring at the bouquet you were holding. everything felt so surreal. you looked up at the guy you were marrying. he looked absolutely happy to be where he was. it almost made you uncomfortable to look at the wide grin on his face.

you looked at your mother, who seemed to be crying. everyone seemed so happy, except for you.

you were not picking up any words, until the question was asked.

"do you take [name], as your wife, your partner, for all eternity?", the sentence almost made you throw up. "yes", the guy so quickly replied. he smiled at you. and you felt the urge to slap him. and maybe your mother while you were at it.

"now, do you take [guys name], to be your husband, your partner, for all eternity?" "I.. uh", you wanted to say no so bad, but it seems you didnt have to.

you looked up from the floor you were staring at to avoid any gazes, when suddenly the doors to the reception slammed open. "stop... the fucking wedding", alhaitham stood there, out of breath, his hair messier than ever, and he looked like he had been... crying?

he walked up to you and took your hand. "you dont want to marry this guy right? forget this, forget everything, and just come with me"

he looked at you like he had never seen anything he loved more. and in that moment, you indeed forgot everything. like nothing was important, nothing other than the happiness of you and the one who was holding your hand.

you dropped your bouquet right there and ran. your mother shouted something, and the guy was standing there all confused.

as soon as the both of you had left the reception, you started stumbling. "alhaitham im wearing heels!", without hesitation, alhaitham picked you up like you weighed nothing.

a few more steps and you both hid in an allyway. to some people this might looked weird, but they dont know what was happening. to you you couldnt be happier than this.

but yet, tears were streaming down your face. and you arms wrapped themselves around alhaitham, quicker than he could react. your head was already pressed into his chest. and he hugged you back.

"im so sorry, im sorry for shouting at you and im sorry for not helping you earlier. i love you, [name]", his voice was wavering, but it had an odd certainty in it. without someone having to tell you, you knew from this day on everything was going to be okay.

a/n: sorry that this is kinda rushed, but i just wanted to get a genshin fic done before im flying to england :) thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed

#rainstops #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #genshin angst

[zhvakinnn]

HIIII how are you?? I hope you are doing well and getting enough sleep and food to eat!!

I was wondering if you can do a Logan x black fem! reader? I just love my blonde nerdy boy, he needs some lovin' frfr

You could do anything you want with it, I don't personally mind at all, yk cuz ue the writer and all lmao, plus I don't like pressuring ppl either.

THANKKKK YOU AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY 🫶🤍

Yess logan needs more attention!

Warning's: racist (yuck)

✨as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me✨

You were alone because your getting teased about being black

His alone because his getting teased about being nerdy

So when you two were group its kind of awkward you were both scared to talk to each other but then he find out your in the astrology club too you two suddenly became close

Just two outcast being together, when you visited his house you met his grandparents and thought they hate you but they were kind and caring

While walking with him after school Barron always pick up on you and logan yet he was the one who always gets hurt in the end

You want to confront them but Logan just shrugged it off and told you that there's nothing to worry about

Everytime you drop him in his house his grandparents always ask you why did he have a bruise again and you always find a way to lie about it and they somehow believe you?

But even all this things you two were never not attached to the hip even the teachers wants you two to be grouped because no one ever dared to talk to you or him so you were always a pair

Then all the sudden poof you both have now a new five friends

---------------------------------------------------

After everything that happened logan starting to change a bit you was a bit more serious he doesn't talk to much like before

"hey (name) fun fact if you sneez so hard you might break a rib cage?"

*new trauma unlock*

On more and more blah blah stuff that you like about him starting to fade away

You miss everything about him even though you dont though you don't understand most of them you still love him blabbering every small detail about those things

That's where you feel those feelings like you swallowed a whole pack of butterflys in you're stomach yet you kept overthinking what if this was all a bet and he didn't like talking to you

What if he won't like you back because you're black (I'm no racist don't attack me)

This things keep swerling in your mind

You also noticed in the realm his more tired i mean we're all tired but his different he was starting to avoid you like if you said hi he will smile at you then walk away

Even in the real world you wanted to walk with him but he denied you're offer and said he can walk himself

You wanted to confront him but you don't wanna sound clingy so you just let it go

But he really wasn't ignoring you he was only embarrassed of his feelings too but doesn't know how to say it

It was so awkward between you two that made your friends question what happened to the both of you

You two were attached to the hip then suddenly you and him suddenly became distance

They wanna fix what has been done because you two are cute together they even think that you and logan are a better couple but doesn't say it because you said so

But whenever they let you two sit in a room its getting more awkward and awkward causing it to just let you two out

Then they tie you up together causing you having tantrum because of how tight the rope is

They tried everything they can but ben said or wrote "its better if the two of them fix this than us fixing it" Ashlyn nodded

---------------------------------------------------

"aw where's you're little boyfriend now"

The woman speak she was one of those bastard that goes with Barron now what do they want..

"he's not my boyfriend you asshole"

You wanna punch her so bad but couldn't escape one slice of your throat and your dead

"what did you say to me?"

Then the door open revealing Barron and his minions, ngl they do look like a minion

"what do you want now" you frown at him and glaring

"remember that one time you literally beat the shit out of me in the arcade huh?!" The woman let go of you, and you stumbled to barron

"listen here N(word, I will not say it) my friend left me because of that boyfriend of yours"

"okay one since when did a friend do and follow you're orders because friend always helps each other not follow one because this world doesn't need a follow the leader for you and second i just told her Logan isn't mine" whenever you denied he's not your boyfriend you feel a heavy chest you wanna take back what you said

"you stupid bitch, you're gonna regret this" he smirked at you

You tried to fight but you were outnumbered you took down most of them but still couldn't

Now you were laying down near the dumpster crying that Logan was there to hug you but you just curled up taking the pain where they beat you up you cried silently

Then a hand touches you

"w..what the hell do you want now-" your words cut when you met a worried teary eyes there is the one you're looking for that face that you love, that you wouldn't get bored to stare at it

"who- what? Uh why are you just sitting here..and you're hair..." Yes you're hair was cut after you smack that womans face atleast she was a broken nose now

You stayed silent then cried Logan tried to calm you down by hugging to and you're head at his shoulder this is what you wanted. Even at this serious situation Logan couldn't help it his chest was beating so fast

"did you find?!...her" Taylor screamed then stop when thay saw you and logan

" i know you two need a moment but can i ask what happened to (name) hair?" Aiden said not breaking a smile

You still stayed silent "are you okay? Do you wanna tell us or maybe later or not" he cupped your cheeks making you dizzy you were so inlove with this nerd

"Barron.." once they heard his name they changed reaction mostly Logan "what did he do?" You can see aiden trying to calm down and angry bird i mean an angry Ben

You shake your head not wanting to say nothing more

Then logan came looking for him you tried to stop him but he got out of your grip you told your friends to stop him but they just stayed silent and took you to you're house. Tyler was piggy backing you because you felt numb and weak at the moment once you got there you asked them if Logan texted them

They shook their heads and waited Ashlyn texted Logan that you are in you're house

Not a minute later the door came busting open he was dirty but not that dirty

He looked angry and kind scary aura around him

When you walk up to Logan everybody knew it was time to leave you two alone

"don't worry that woman regret cutting your hair" he said while he hugged you and you can't help but smile even that little things he did can make your heart beat

Then now you were the one who was cupping his cheeks " thank you Logan" your face was so close to him causing you two to back away Logan scratch his nape and your scratching your arm

"hey.."

"um.."

You two said it at the same time

"you go first" you told him

"look i know we've been friends for not that long but long enough so I'm okay if you leave this friendship once i told you this"

You're eyes were widen your feelings starting to sink you don't wanna end this friendship nor do not wanna lose this feelings for him

You were caught when your lips and him were connected suddenly then pulled away only you taking the collar of his shirt kissing him again you pulled away when the door was open" hey you two okay there?... Sorry" aidne peek then close the door you look at logan and you both giggle

"are you sure you want me? I mean I'm not that you know those skin-"

"I don't care about your skin or anything else I just know that i love you and that won't change anything" you started to tear up again and hugged him

"Once the sun asked moon for a hug they call it an eclipse "

You giggled at Logan poetry again and told him it was cheezy

"it was not?! Here is one i remember and i promise it's not cheezy"

You giggled and told him to go one he cleared his throat

"so, i love you because the entire galaxy conspired to help me find you" -paulo coelho

"alright alright that's enough" you two were giggling little do you know they were listening to the both of you smiling

"told you, you can't fix between a two bird if you invade them" ben wrote

Okay maybe he is a good at poetry too

I LOVE LOGAN SO MUCHHH

Masterlist | about me | rules

#logan fields x reader #logan fields #logan sbg #logan x reader #sbg logan #logan sbg x reader #sbg logan x reader #sbg #sbg x reader #school bus graveyard x reader #school bus graveyard #logan school bus graveyard

[goatedgreen]

this is gonna be such a nothing rant (haikyuu edition) but i keep seeing these posts on instagram that are obvious rage bait where its like "TALENT OR HARDWORK?" pitting like, a selection of characters against each other and it makes me SO FUCKING MADDDDD

the people who make those DID NOTTTTT WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW BRUH. KITA SHINSUKE DID NOT GIVE HIS MONSTERS SPEECH for you to pretend that EVERY CHARACTER on the show has not WORKED FUCKING HARDDDD.

literally my ONE issue with the show/manga before kita's appearence was this mythos of "natural talent" that permeated the bg of the show's morals/ideology. there was always the idea of "the best teams are the ones who dont give up" which is shown to be true (the best teams, as well, are also the ones who practicec the most), but at the end there would be this thing of, like, "well yeah you can practice all you want, some people will just be better", which is what a lot of people for some reason took away from oikawas character arc (ignoring the fact that this isnt what was meant to be shown but WHATEVER).

THEN WE GET MY FUCKING KING OF ALL KINGS KITA SHINSUKE here to say "yeah actually these people are fucking monsters on the court, but its NOT because they were somehow born that way. its because they WORKED to become that way." and as the audience youre like "yeah but what about oikawa", AND THEN HE PULLS OUT THE "they just WORK different. they THINK different. THAT is what sets them apart from the regular players" and you realise that the reason oikawa "loses" to kageyama isnt because is wasnt good enough, or because he didnt practice enough, but because he had the mindset that kageyama had TALENT, while he had SKILL. he FAILED to see that kageyama ALSO HAD SKILL, and that his abilities as a setter DIDNT come from nowhere.

IT IS THEN LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY PROVEN IN THE SAME MATCH, when we get the flashbacks for atsumu and osamu. ojiro (king) TELLS US, THE AUDIENCE, directly that atsumu literally worked on the skills he has FROM THE GROUND UP. atsumu didnt start as the better player, or even a particularly stand out player, but he had the MENTAL DRIVE TO BE BETTER. HE WORKED HARD. osamu was the "naturally gifted" player, but ultimately fell behind his brother because he didnt want it as much.

until kitas speech, there is this mythos of "hardwork versus natural talent" that permeates the show. kageyama versus hinata initially, then with tsukki and hinata, then with oikawa and kageyama etc etc etc. but with ONE SINGLE SPEECH, the curtain is lifted and the audience is forced to confront that every single character has worked IMMENSLEY HARD to get to the level they are at, its not a matter of natural talent.

he then says my favourite line in the whole show, which is "but if you're thinking theyre geniuses from the start, then youve lost before you've even had a match with them." and, "AND ITS RUDE" <- THAT RIGHT THERE. ITS FUCKING RUDE. CASTING OUT ALL OF SOMEONES HARD WORK AND ASSIGNING IT AS NATURAL TALENT IS FUCKING RUUUUUUDEEEEEEE.

anyway rant over but that is why i hate those fucking posts. there is not one "monster" character in haikyuu that hasnt worked hard. im sick of people saying any different because all it tells me is that they were not paying fucking attention!!!!!!

#haikyuu #miya atsumu #kita shinsuke

[goremet-chef]

trying to keep my emotions in check is so fucking hard man. like the pain i feel is so intense and real, but i also know i feel it for nothing. AND YET when i acknowledge this, the pain persists anyways!! never reassured properly cuz i can never see to kill the little voice in my head whispering "what if they do though? what if its true?" its so. frustrating its so PAINFUL this shit is slowly killing me man

its like. im scared to be caught in it if it IS true, to the point where ill just. back up and straight up leave sometimes

even when nothing bad has happened, and everyone is normal, even the smallest thing will tip me off and ill start feeling bad. ill start feeling like something happened and everyones upset with me, they like me less, theyre bored of me, annoyed, disgusted, ETC

its so scary man. and the worst part? i will never ever bring it up. ill never talk it through, never make my feelings known because i cant BEAR to make everything about me!!!!!! even if sharing how i feel isnt inherently selfish, ill feel like it is. itll tear me apart. there is no fucking escape!!! if i never say anything, then im leaving mid conversation to go cry in my bathroom and coming back like nothing is bothering me. if i do say something, ill sour the mood. everyone else is always having a good time, how could i just.. RUIN that? because i misinterpreted something and decided suddenly that no one actually likes me and im just.

im stuck in this loop where like. i want to be a good friend, a FUN friend. i dont want people to watch what they say around me, i dont want them to check up on how im doing, i should just be doing GOOD. but im not, i never am. its such bullshit man

why do i have to live so fucking miserably? why do i have to feel this pain, why do i always tear up over seemingly nothing? why is everything so heavy all the time

i hate that im someone who needs some kind of accommodation, i wish so desperately that i was just.. normal. normal enough to not cry like a fucking baby while everyone else is having a good time. i wish i wasnt like this, wish it so fucking badly

i dont make friends with shitty people, all my friends are so cool and sweet but like.. i just cant bring myself to bring it up, ever. i wanna be silly goofy dominic. i want them to love being around me so much that they forget about the unbelievably massive pile of mental issues i have. i want them to forget how easy it is to hurt me, even if its completely unreasonably and stupid

most of the time im successful, cuz ive got a quieter bpd going on. all the feelings are just as intense and suffocating, but i just. keep it all bottled inside, keep it all in the safety of my room. theres no like.

this is the closest ill ever get to sharing. spitting it out into a void because im too cowardly to confront my OWN emotions

i think thats what hurts the worst. i feel so fucking SELFISH. i know everyone has emotions, and id respect and love everybody elses, but mine? nothing makes me feel worse than when people actually care about me. it makes bottling everything up so hard. so hard when they ask if im okay and i have to lie to their face cuz im still not strong enough to confess whats slowly eating my alive

im just too scared of being too much. its like this line that i cant cross. i dont want to be overbearing, i dont want to be so outwardly emotional, i dont want to be VISIBLY MISERABLE to the people who love me, or at least like me enough to stick around.

but im so unsocialized that this is damn near the only way. i wanna be the fun silly goofy friend but the fact of the matter is that im just not. watching me try to participate in any conversation is just.. painful. and i can SEE how painful it is. its embarrassing how bad i am at talking. it only makes things worse, pulls me back from my dream of being someone that people ENJOY speaking to. its sad

even if im not as boring and awkward as i think i am, the fact that i think it alone holds me back. theres been so many times where i just.. bite my tongue and stay quiet even if i have an opportunity to tell a joke or something cuz the voice in the back of my head tells me "what if they dont get it? what if they dont think its funny? what if they only pretend to laugh? how embarrassing would that be?" and its right. i have to like.. silence myself so that i wont ever face any kind of rejection, because if i do itll kill me and ill feel so fucking miserable over it

i wish i didnt live my life this way, but in my head there are very few options, and all of them are bad

#vent #bpd

[vaguely-yandere]

hai again momo :333 or chamo. or CHAMOMILE <3333 any nickname for u works so u pick!!! also assign me a flower name too so i can pen a name at the end of my brain rots!!

OK SO UR ENEMY YAN. academic enemy yan. what would happen if one day, they finally DO surpass you? maybe it was a test you didnt study too hard for (you were too busy hanging out with a friend and lets face it; your grades are solid and can easily take a hit or two! you still do decently on the test, ofc! star student :D) and enemy yan beats you by a couple points… huh?

‘that doesnt seem right…there’s no way i finally beat them… did i?’ yan thinks. you come up to them after the scores are out and pat them on the back, looks like they can finally stop obsessing over you, now that they’ve finally beaten you! you accept your “loss” in good humor; to be honest, you were kind of getting fed up being on the receiving end of this one sided rivalry you wanted nothing to do with in the first place. youre just glad they finally beat you before things escalated, which recently, it seems to have been. getting accidental likes from them on social media posts you shared months ago, seeing them out of the corner of your eye while you were eating lunch with your friends, being approached and confronted more frequently by enemy yan. you just wanted it to stop, and them scoring higher than you meant that their obsessive behavior would stop. or so you thought.

but no. enemy yan is devastated. what excuse can they use now? to justify their constant talk of you, their constant thoughts of you, the EVERYTHING of you. they already lost all their friends, their free time devoted to studying and hating on you in the shadows. whats their purpose now? its their fault, really. they should have caught themselves before their whole life became triumphing over you. now that its actually happened, they have nothing left. they have no other choice but to keep clinging onto you, much to your dismay.

awwww. how delusional!

hi hi hi!!!!!! honestly, i love the nickname chami, its so cute!

i bet they dont even consider the fact that they shouldve had a backup plan for beating you. for someone who thinks of beating you all the time, they didnt actually plan what to do when it happened so instead of devastation, they feel rage, betrayal and humiliation. clearly this is just some sort of trick! a psychological mind game! this only fans their flames and it finally encourages them to corner you and demand you tell them their secrets. the terror that comes with being cornered by an obviously obsessive and mentally disturbed person wears off around the third time so youre used to this. honestly, their antics dont really disturb you anymore, youre kind of just.. indifferent, which is the perfect type of yandere for them.

i mean, when you have to reassure people with "oh yeah, that's just yandere" then you kinda just get used to being stalked, watched, glared at for hours on end, cornered, yelled at, etc. but they seem really mad this time and extra insane. their life is crumbling before them, how could they?! they just won but it was one measly test! was this some sort of plan? were you trying to pull the carpet out from under them? pull the wool over their eyes? who do you think you are?!

you manage to escape with a well timed punch to their kidney and stomp off, kind of annoyed. what was wrong with them? maybe they wouldve 'beaten you' or whatever a long time ago if they stopped focusing on you so much.

the next day? they're following you. not unusual. but this time, theyre right by your side, glaring at you the entire time. you wanna eat lunch by the smelly trashcans? theyre right there. you need to use the bathroom? so do they! changing during PE? theyre face is bright red the entire time but theyre. right. there. if theyre the opposite gender, they wait right outside the locker room. outside of school, they even try to barge right into your house! its just so cute how delusional they are! they dont even notice how much they enjoy spending time with you <3

#enemy yandere #yandere scenarios #asks #yandere x you #rival yandere

[exocynraku]

hmmm i saw a post from someone recently about them wanting the 4 prophecy cats to be from different clans (i think they were talking about lion jay holly and dove) so i thought id make a little thing for that

jay & holly are still born to leaf and crow, but crow takes holly to windclan and leaf keeps jay. crow convinces nightcloud to raise holly as her kit and she reluctantly agrees. jays story is pretty much the same lol. holly has a hard time fitting in to windclan cuz of her fur colour & thickness so she has some trouble finishing her apprenticeship. during this time, squilf & jay are attacked by ashfur after the forest gets lit on fire. squilf says jays not her kit and that hes actually leaf and crows kit, but she doesnt tell ash about holly. before the next gathering, jay finds ash at the lake (i think it was the lake? was it a river? whatever) and kills him. then, at the next gathering he announces what holly did canonically, BUT! someone puts the pieces together. breezepelt, who knew that holly might not have been nightclouds real kit, realizes he’s right, and that shes probably leaf and crows kit too!!!! crow confirms this, which only causes more problems. breeze & holly now hate crow for lying, and team up with nightcloud to yell at him lol. holly has a hard time fitting into windclan even MORE now that shes found out shes half thunderclan. jay also has alot of trouble doing his med cat duties, because it means he has to be near leafpool, who he’s rlly uncomfortable with.

lion is born to russetfur, of shadowclan. his story is about his identity as the son of a former rouge (fun fact russetfur used to be a rouge named red). he doesnt know this at first because russet doesnt tell him. during the time he doesnt know, he’s got a pretty big ego cuz omggg im the son of the deputy!!!! awesoem. until he finds out russet used to be a rouge and now hes like. omg im… the son of a rouge? who is now deputy?!?? he kinda freaks out about it for a while until shadowclan (all of them) explain ya russetfur was a rouge but shes proved herself as a good deputy & clanmate and now hes chill …… until he discovers his powers. the first time he found out and WHY he found out is because he accidentally killed russetfur during a training session. hes totally spiralled into depression now and questions his identity even more cuz hes now 1: the son of a rouge 2: the son of the (former) deputy AND 3: a murderer

dove and ivy are born in riverclan, born to dawnflower alongside minnowtail. (tumblekit and pebblefoot dont exist anymore LOL) dove & ivys story are like the exact same except theyre in riverclan now lol. ivy gets shoved into the df because hawkfrost convices her (which honestly makes more sense now cuz shes riverclan), and guess who she sees there? breezepelt….. and hollyleaf. (and all the other df trainees) holly and ivy get along well, and train alongside eachother. dove finds out she has powers, and befriends willowpaw. willowpaw discovers that there are other cats who have powers, and takes dove to meet jay, and then later on lion. they get their prophecy (its not the kin of ur kin one anymore tho its a new one) and meet at the gathering island whenever they can

everything is the same up until ivy finds out the df’s true plans, and tries to convince holly to stop going to the df. holly refuses, not believing what ivys saying, and wanting to say with breeze. ivy runs away, and tells dove the truth. dove then goes and tells lion & jay. jay goes and tells firestar, who tells the rest of the clans, who then start planning for the df’s attack

everything is the same until the battle, where ivy gets in a confrontation with holly. ivy shows holly whats going on, and she FINALLY realizes whats going on, and joins the side of the clans. she’s also able to convince the majority of the other windclan df trainees to join the clans…. except breezepelt. holly and breeze get into a fight, and holly brutally injures breeze, killing him, and sending him into the dark forest

after the battle is over, the clans have won. holly meets leafpool and jay, and helps crow and leaf become friends again. night breaks up with crow, and moves on, starting a new life with someone else. lion is able to overcome his identity struggles, and becoming a wonderful warrior. blackstar offered him the spot as deputy, but he refused, still not feeling he deserved it after what he did to russetfur

the 3 lose their powers, and ivy and dove repair their relationship, holly, leaf, jay and crow try their best to get along, and dove starts seeing tigerheart. avos happens, dove & tiger leave and come back with kits, dove moves to shadowclan, aaand thats it! this got way too long but. whatever

#warrior cats #wc #wc au #au #ray talk

[strawberry-jammers]

A Child to Protect (pt 5)

tommy x child!reader || Confronting an old friend

tommy comes home to tubbo and ranboo waiting in the living room for...something. 

pt1 pt 2 pt3 pt4

masterlist

sorry this took awhile, i was having some struggles lmao. its not the best but the next few parts will hopefully be good lol

word count: 3215

ask if you wanna be tagged for this seires lmao

~~~~~~~~~

Techno sat in the main part of the room with ranboo and tubbo. They stared at each other awkwardly. Honestly tubbo didn't expect to be in the piglins home today, especially after what had happened. Ranboo shuffled in his seat, uncomfortable with the tension in the air. They saw techno almost glare at tubbo, while the goat in turn decided to glare back.

“Um, are you two okay?” ranboo asked the two of them. Techno nodded, not saying a word, as usual. He was just waiting for Tommy to get there to change the focus or something. Tubbo didn't do anything to acknowledge the question, just glaring at the piglin. “Okay, this is awkward." The enderman whispers to themself. "Techno, hows living in the tundra?” techno looks at ranboo with a blank face, tired of having these two here. “cold.” ranboo nodded. ‘Cold’ not being the answer they were looking for. “Oookay. Tubbo, do you like the tundra at all?'' Tubbo shook his head, having a stare down with the piglin, who had gone back to glaring at the hybrid. “No.”

Ranboo sighed, slinking down into the chair. “You guys are helpless…” ranboo says, sighing tiredly. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Techno jumped up from his seat and looked out the window to see who it was. He smiled, opening the door to the mystery guest. “Finally you're here. Now they can focus their attention on you instead. Good luck with that.” techno says. He moved to reveal Tommy, carrying his kid with him.

Tubbo and ranboo stood up, shocked to see their supposed deceased friend, standing in the doorway holding a child. Ranboo walked over cautiously. “Tommy?” he asked. Tommy looked up at the tall enderman. He nodded, holding the young kid tightly. He really didn't wanna be there, but he knew his kid needed to be back here.

 (y/n) looked up at the enderman hybrid, smiling brightly. “Endy endy!!” they said. Ranboo looked down at them, confused a bit. “Whos this?” they asked the young boy. The kid continued to say ‘endy’ while the two of them talked.

Tommy sighed. “This is my kid..(y/n)” he says, looking at the young child. Ranboo looks at the small child, who smiled at them happily. “Endy!!” they said once more. “No no (y/n), this is ranboo. The good man i told you about.” (y/n) smiled even wider. “Ran ran!!!! Papa told me about you!!!! Good man, good man!!” they said. 

The child's presence lifted the awkward atmosphere that once resided in the room. (y/n) smiled at the enderman, who was nearly in tears from the fact tommy was alive and well, raising a child at that. Ranboo immediately hugged two of them, scarring tommy. “Aye aye get off!” tommy said, not knowing how else to respond. “Sorry sorry, i'm just really happy your alive.” tommy looked at ranboo, gapping his mouth. “Dead!? Why would you think that???” tommy asked. Ranboo smiled awkwardly. “Well…” “tommy?” the two of them turned their head to see their part goat friend, who had finally spoken up. 

“Tubbo..” tommy says, stepping around ranboo to see his old friend. “Ranboo take (y/n).” tommy instructs. Ranboo nodes, taking the small child, who wasn't too happy to leave their father. 

Tommy walks closer to his old friend, who was shocked to see him, barely able to say anything. “Y-your alive!! I thought you died-``Tubbo couldn't continue his sentence. He missed his old friend, and was really happy to see him! He just felt terrible for sending him to his near death…even if it was the only option he had. 

Techno and ranboo went outside, leaving the two of them alone (though techno tried to leave several times). (y/n) was sad they couldn't play with their father, but they did have a new friend, who was really nice.

“Is papa okay?” the young one asked. “Yeah I think he's gonna be fine..wanna play in the snow?” ranboo asked the kid. They nodded, being set down and running into the snow. The enderman chuckled, watching them pick themselves back up and falling again. The enderman did notice, however, the many snowmen that littered the lawn. Some looked like people they knew, one even looked like them. they smiled, seeing the young child show off the one they made of their father.

Back in the house, Tommy and tubbo stood in the middle of the home, staring at each other intensely. 

"So...you're alive? Living with techno?" Tubbo asks, breaking the heavy silence. "Why would you think I'd be dead??" Tubbo looked down a bit. "Well, everything was destroyed and...there was a tower I- I thought you…." Tubbo trails off before finishing. “Oh, that..” Tommy looked down a bit, frowning. “Why'd you do it? Why'd you send me away to isolation? `` Tubbo frowns, tilting his head. “It wasn't supposed to be isolation. I-i thought you just chose to live there..” 

Tommy went over and sat down, sighing. “I really dont wanna talk about this. Can you just tell ranboo to bring (y/n) in here..” tubbo shook his head. “I feel like we need to talk about this, I mean you've been gone for months! You have a kid! What happened?” tommy glared at tubbo. “I told you i dont wanna talk about it, just drop it.” he says, getting up again and heading to the front door. “No! We’re talking about this.” Tubbo goes over and grabs Tommy's arm. He yanks it away from him. “I told you I'm not talking about it! Fucking drop it already!” tubbo let go, stepping back slightly.

“Why won't you talk to me? We’re best friends-”

“We haven't been friends since the exile, since one of your men came here and nearly killed my child! The only reason i wasn't here was cause that lunatic tried to attack me!” tubbo shook his head. “I'm not the one that sent him here-”

“Then explain to me why you're here!”

 the yelling started to get louder, leaving the young child to be concerned. They looked up at ranboo, who was silently screaming cause of the snow. “Ran ran are you sure papas okay? There's a lot of yelling..” ranboo looked over to the house, noticing the yelling as well. “I-im not sure, but we shouldn't interrupt them…” (y/n) looked over to the house, really wanting to see their father. They gasped, remembering a way they could get inside.

“Ran ran!! Follow follow!!” they say, pulling on the endermans pant leg. Ranboo sighed, following the small child to wherever they were gonna bring him. “I'll just stay here!” techno says, laying in the snow.

They, basically waddled, to the back of the house. Ranboo looked around, not really seeing anything. “What did you wanna show me?” they asked. (y/n) looked up at ranboo, pointing to the wall. “Break.” they stood, a bit confused. “You want me to take some of the wall?” the kid nodded, pointing to the wall. “Enderman do the same! Just break.” they nodded, kinda understanding what they were asking. They didnt know if the other two would notice, but they normally break blocks pretty silently anyways.

Ranboo looked at the wall, seeing where the chests would be and where the fireplace was, and broke one of the blocks. They looked in between the chests to see that the others were still arguing and hadn't noticed them. (y/n) pulled on the hybrids pant leg, signaling for them to pick them up to see. Ranboo does so, gesturing for them to be quiet.

Back with the other two, they were having a heated argument. Discussing quackity and his actions, discussing Tommy and his exile, along with bringing up the past such as wilbur and old lmanburg. 

“Well I'm sorry we decided to even form the country! Y'know, we all wanted to find independence!” tubbo says, snapping at tommy.

“It's not that! Its new lmanburg, its lost all meaning!! One of your men, whent and tried to kill techno and I! You said you didn't even send him here!! “

“Why do you keep saying ‘your men’, you know this is also your country right?” 

Tommy glares at Tubbo, stepping away from him. “It hasn't been my country, for a long time. Not sense schlatt took over.'' Tommy looks over, avoiding tubbos' gaze. “Technos gonna destroy the country, and I won't stop him. I know how he is, he's gonna want it gone. Maybe once it is gone, we can start over, not with a country but with a place we could just...live. Together, all of us..'' Tommy says, looking back at tubbo. “You want lmanburg gone? After all we've done!? After what we lost to gain independence!!??'' Tommy nodded. “Lmanburg is more the people than the land. If we’re all together, it'll be the same. The same old lmanburg.”

Tubbo sighs, still angry at the blond before him. “You gave dream the discs for this place, you gave him the one thing we had! Now you wanna get rid of the country we traded it for?” 

“Well, who said we werent gonna get them back?” tommy steps forward again. “You have one of them right?” tubbo nodded, staring at the enderchest in the room. “We already have half of what we need, all we need to do is get the last one. You prepared to lose lmanburg to get them back?” tommy asked. Tubbo contemplated for a second. “No, I'm not. But…"

The two of them talked, no longer upset at the other. They were best friends for years, it's hard to stay mad at each other. Ranboo and (y/n) looked at each other, confused as to how they had just calmed down after such a heated argument. (y/n) ran back over to the front of the house, ranboo running after them. “No no, (y/n) come back please!” (y/n) didn't listen, instead running to the front of the house and trying to open the door. It was left ajar, so it was easy to do so. 

“Dad!!” the young kid said, rushing over towards their father. Tommy looked over to see his kid run over towards him. He smiled as they ran into his legs. He picks them up. "Hey kiddo, whatcha doing back here? Weren't you playing outside playing with ranboo?" They nodded. "Yeah but I was worried!! There was yelling…" Tommy sighs, ruffling the young kids' hair. "I'm okay lil (n/n), everythings alright. Big man Tommy was just talking to tubbo." They looked over to the boy in question, who awkwardly stood there. 

"I think I should get going. Don't wanna make things worse.” (y/n) looked at the goat hybrid and frowned. They pushed their way out of tommys arms, landing on the floor with a huff. Everyone just stared at the young kid as they picked themself up and ran into the goats legs. “Tub don't go! You just got here…” tubbo smiled a bit, leaning down to be eye to eye as (y/n). “I don't think I should stick around. Maybe I'll see you again..” they hugged tubbo, repeating for him not to leave. 

Ranboo picked up the small child, who did not wanna be picked up. “He needs to leave (n/n). Don't worry, you'll see him again.” they huff, nodding. Ranboo chuckled at this. 

Tubbo stood back up looking at tommy once more. “Goodbye tommy. I hope your happy.” with that, tubbo left, leaving ranboo and tommy behind. Tubbo passed by techno as he left, noticing how he was just sitting in front of the door. “Why are you sitting out here?” techno looked up at the male. “Idk mr.government, maybe because i got kicked out of my own home. Again.” tubbo sighed, opting to just ignore the piglin and continue on his way to lmanburg.

Ranboo looked over at Tommy, who seemed to be processing a lot of emotions. Tommy looked over and ranboo and (y/n), smiling a bit before sitting down in one of the few chairs in the room. 

“I really don't like that kid. I don't know why he bothered to come here.” technoblade says, closing the front door that had started to let snow in. He went over to brew some potions, as he needed to go to lmanburg the next day. Ranboo sighed, letting (y/n) out of their arms. They shifted slightly. (y/n) went over to sit with Tommy, who held them tightly. “Um, i think i should leave as well, don't wanna overstay my welcome.” technoblade chuckled a bit. “You don't have to leave, kid. I think you should stay for at least dinner. If you want.” tommy nodded, not really wanting the enderman to leave.

“Oh, well thank you techno, tommy.'' Just then, the door swung open, letting in even more cold air than there already was. They all turned to see philza, who looked like he had just ran here. “What the FUCK happend in lmanburg??” techno looked at Phil a bit confused. “Oh the quackity thing?”

Philza walked in, closing the door. “Yeah but also, why the hell is fundy and quackity dead and WHY IS THE PLACE ON FIRE?? Techno i told you not to do this high level of terrorism yet.” techno looked confused, stopping his potion brewing. “I didn't set the place on fire? I did kill those two tho, they did not fight back. Well, quackity did but he sucks at it.” 

“Wait then who set the place on fire?” phil asked, no longer upset. “Oh i did.” they turned to ranboo, who raised their hand up slightly. “What?” 

“All i did was set the place on fire as a diversion..” 

“Mate the place is basically gone now..” philza said, sitting next to tommy. Ranboo chuckled. “Yeaaahh that wasn't the plan. I just wanted to create a diversion to get out of there..” techno chuckled. “Didn't notice that was you. Good job kid.” techno went back to his brewing, making a bunch of invis potions. “Dadza!” (y/n) said, now noticing the winged man who had sat next to them. They were too focused on tommys scarf. Phil chuckled, picking up the small child. “Hey kiddo. How has things been while i was gone?” tommy chuckled seeing the two of them talk. (y/n) talked about all the things they did in the time he was gone. Ranboo went over to help techno make potions, grabbing things he needed and such. 

It was peaceful like this. Tommy phil and (y/n) all chatted amongst themselves, (y/n) on occasion playing with some random item in the house. When techno and ranboo were done with the potions, they joined the others in their conversation, all of them talking and cracking jokes amongst themselves. It was peaceful, there were no countries or wars, no dream, no trauma, none of that. It was just a couple of friends or family, talking and having fun.

Somewhere down the line, phil and techno whent to make dinner, sense it was awhile sense (y/n) or anyone had eaten any food. The 3 kids decided to play around with some swords tommy and techno had made. (y/n) chased the other two around, playfully trying to hit them whenever they got close. Ranboo dramatically died when (y/n) had stabbed them, while Tommy vowed revenge on the small child. He poked them with the sword, saying he had defeated the evil. (y/n) went into a fit of giggles, saying they could never die cause their immortal, and in turn stabbed tommy. He wanted to stubbornly try to beat them, but he thought it was more fun to go with it. Tommy dramatically dropped his sword and fell to the floor, pretending to be ‘dead’. 

“Stop playing around, foods done.” techno said, entering the main part of the room. (y/n) jumped up, running into the kitchen, excited for food. Ranboo and Tommy got up from their laying positions, wanting to get some food as well.

So they ate, continuing to talk to each other as they did before. Ranboo felt a bit awkward being there, but overtime he felt more comfortable. Tommy talked to phil and techno, occasionally having to tell (y/n) to actually eat their food. 

Once supper was over, phil has suggested that ranboo stays with tommy and (y/n) for the night, since it had already gotten dark out. Techno and ranboo both protested, granted for different reasons, though no one can fight philza. (y/n) was really giddy about this, running around their bedroom, knocking into the prime log a few times. Ranboo climbed down the latter, seeing this. Tommy was making sure they didn't run into the log again, not noticing the enderman.

“(y/n) you know it's time for bed.” Tommy says, grabbing his kid as they try to run away. “No! No sleep!” they tried to wrestle out of tommys arms, it obviously didn't work. “Yes, sleep. Your gonna get too tired to run soon anyways.`` He places them in their bed, trying to make them stay. Ranboo walks over, crouching down to see the kid better, they smiled when they saw the tall enderman. “Ran!!” they said, making the grabby hands at the tall enderman. They smiled, ruffling the kids hair. “(y/n) you need to sleep.” is all ranboo says, making (y/n) frown. “How bout this, i'll give you a cookie tomorrow if you sleep. Deal?” tommy asked. They nodded, laying down on their bed. They both laughed, tommy tucking them in for the night while ranboo stood up, not sure on what to do. 

Tommy got up soon after, looking over at ranboo had just stood there. “You can sleep on my bed big man, I'll either make another one or just sleep on the floor.” Tommy says, going over to his chest in the corner, seeing if he had any left over wool. Ranboo shook their head. “No no, I can sleep on the floor, it's fine. This is your home after all.” tommy looked over at ranboo, glaring at him. “You will listen, bitch.” ranboo sighed. “Fine fine, I'm just saying..” ranboo walked over to the bed, sitting down on it, watching Tommy mess around with some wood and wool. 

When Tommy was done, he put the bed in a random spot in the room. Tommy turned off the only light in the room, signalling that they were going to bed. Ranboo laid down, followed by tommy. They laid like that for a while, not really being able to sleep.

Ranboo looked over, sighing quietly to themself. “I'm sorry about the whole tubbo thing..it wasn't our plan to come here after what happened..” 

“Its fine, it was bound to happen eventually. Thanks for staying with my kid for a bit,you didn't have to…” ranboo nodded. “It was no trouble, they seem to like me.” ranboo says, looking over to see the sleeping child next to them. “Well, still. Thank you ranboo. Your a good man.” 

“So are you tommy..” 

They sleep after that, finally being able to rest for the night.

#mcyt x reader #Tommyinnit x child reader #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #technoblade x reader #philza minecraft x reader #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x y/n #child reader #x reader #dreamsmp x reader

[blookmallow]

hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ ) 

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this 

-----

thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid 

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why. 

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm 

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place) 

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there 

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences 

more on that subject

- we see him frequently doing things and then immediately forgetting he did it or forgetting what was happening. he accidentally squishes the bug (which also was not malicious or intentional, he intended to pet it but just. went too hard) and has no understanding either that its dead, or that he killed it. she has gone flat and gooey for some unknown reason. that’s strange. she needs to go have a wash, that’s no way to be. 

he eats the jeremy fisher puppet at one point and then immediately goes “where have you gotten to??” 

he even briefly forgets hubert cumberdale’s name and immediately comes up with another one without realizing it, and then later goes back to hubert cumberdale again with no mention of barbara logan-price 

he refers to the same little yellow guy as “young child” and also Auntie Bainbridge later on. he keeps up the fantasy of... whatever the fuck yvonne was being his child for a pretty long time but then when he arrives at “auntie bainbridge” ‘s house he suddenly forgets why he’s there, and even apparently forgets what yvonne is and uses  ‘her’ as a window rag instead and never mentions it again (I also don’t think she was in the sandwich at the end either. it’s hard to see but the sandwich contents are vaguely brown and theres a visible lump in the black goo behind him. i like the idea that the lil yellow guy made the sandwich for him) 

salad fingers is constantly subconsciously adjusting his reality to fit Whatever Makes The Most Sense At The Time and does not consistently remember things (sometimes even major things. he remembers his puppets the most consistently and still even forgets hubert’s name) or have a concept of cause and effect 

i think he possibly has some sense of recognition, “I’ve seen this person before,” but doesn’t always remember Why he knows them, and his mind just automatically fills in the blank with whatever makes sense to him. he doesn’t remember who the yellow guy is, but knows he knows them Somehow, so, ah, of course, it must be auntie bainbridge out for her sunday stroll :) and he knows he’s there for a reason, but not what that reason was, so he decides it must be time to clean the windows 

- milford cubicle was already dead when salad fingers opens the door, but he has no idea that hes dead. this isn’t even a cause for concern. my, he must be tired, that’s all. he kept milford there until he rotted away, too, so there was never a point where he realized anything was wrong (until he became skeleton. more on That later too) 

- he finds a corpse buried in the yard and rather than confronting the confusing and alarming reality of that situation, why it must be kenneth, back from the great war! at no point does he understand kenneth is definitely dead

theory: kenneth vs glass brother

i think he really did have a brother named kenneth who probably died in the war. could be some subconscious connection between “recognizing” a corpse as his brother, but i dont think he realizes any of that. i think the glass family is probably a trauma based hallucination, but a... well, reflection. pun not exactly intended lmao. on how his real family was and how they treated him

i dont think glass brother is the same brother as kenneth, since salad fingers interacts with them completely differently 

kenneth is a corpse that salad fingers projects a personality on and speaks for, while glass brother seems independent and malicious toward him. i think he had a good relationship with kenneth (so, when salad fingers imagines that he’s here, it’s cause for celebration and he’s projecting onto something inert and “safe”) and also had another brother (who was probably his twin) who bullied him and acted violently, so when that trauma resurfaces, he hallucinates a vicious Other that he cannot control or speak for.

it also tracks that the abusive brother was his twin - he sees himself reflected in the mirror, and something in his own face reminds him of that lost brother until it “becomes” him

he refers to kenneth as his younger brother, and sees him as a being that does not look like him, while glass brother is literally his reflection, so it would make sense if he had one identical twin and one younger brother 

ive seen theories that he had a real sister named bordois too, but i think him calling the bug “little sister” was just. a term of endearment or one of his little odd language quirks, he seemed to be talking to it more like a pet than like a sibling 

theory: regarding mable

- ok people are saying salad fingers killed mable at the picnic but i Really Don’t Think He Did

we never see him acting out violently when he gets scared. he tends to try to escape situations that stress him out, he shrinks, he cries, he goes into his cupboard (which is. incredibly upsetting given the fact he was almost definitely abused by his family) 

he takes on a kind of Authoritative Tone often, he gets sort of ruffled up and disdainful toward things, but that’s not what he does when he’s scared

when he’s actually distressed (rather than irritated) he tends to break down and retreat. this includes when other independent beings act in ways that unsettle and upset him 

so i dont know where the “he freaked out and killed her” idea is coming from. he suddenly goes from outside at the picnic to having a breakdown in his house so. he most likely just ran 

i think the Only time we see him act out violently is when he decides he has to punish marjory for not getting a haircut like he asked - he tears her hair out, but for me that scene was particularly concerning because it was so unlike him. that was an anger response, not a fear response, though, and he tends to be harsher toward things that he’s actually controlling (I don’t think we ever see him decide to Discipline something that was independent from him other than the horses, and he didnt hurt them) 

ordinarily when something irritates him he just goes “hmph! so distasteful. how rude. i shan’t have this behavior, you know” but doesn’t really actually do anything about it, and moves on

anyway we never see mable again so i think either he freaked out and ran away and she just didn’t come back, or he scared her and she ran away, or both 

there’s a dress visible briefly when salad fingers is making his Flesh Boy which could be mable’s (he did comment he liked it) but it’s not 100% clear, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he KILLED her for it. she could have changed into something else and left it somewhere and he found it. she could have died under unrelated circumstances, and salad fingers found her - he doesn’t comprehend death, so. probably he decided they’ve made amends now and she’s given him her dress as a token of friendship, or something 

i dont think it really looks that significantly like hers but the fact that it stands out so distinctly from the rest of the Pile could mean something 

but i just feel like if he had killed her we would’ve seen her corpse again, he doesn’t have a concept of murder, or death at all, or consequences, and his memory doesn’t hold out that consistently, so if he killed her, he probably would have calmed down later and then forgotten what he did and came up with a new way to explain the corpse in front of him - oh, how rude of me, mable’s here dozing right off and i havent even offered her a blanket. let’s get you to bed

like, he probably would have dragged her home with him, with the intention of being a good friend/host to his guest, not understanding what happened. he kept milford cubicle around a really long time  

it wouldn’t be like him to have any concept of hiding the evidence

speaking of milford 

theory: regarding milford cubicle 

salad fingers keeps milford’s corpse around until it starts rotting, and then after a very confusing series of events, the corpse is suddenly a skeleton, which surprisingly alarms salad fingers considerably, and then he goes out to find a whole bunch of himselves eating various bits of gore. they give him a present, which is a hat very clearly made of milford’s skin 

my conclusion: salad fingers, in some kind of dissociative fugue state, skinned and ate the remains of milford cubicle himself and turned the remaining skin into a hat. he also saves some of it to make hubert cumberdale (the real boy) later as well, probably forgetting where it came from. he does not realize he’s done this or remember doing it, so his scrambled mind tries to make sense of it with other selves eating unknown flesh, and a lovely hat appearing (which he doesn’t seem to notice is made of flesh) 

you can also see milford’s original name tag in the drawer later on when he’s building the flesh boy, so. he kept that after the mysterious disappearance of milford’s flesh, apparently. more evidence that that skin is probably also his

some other scattered thoughts regarding the most recent string of episodes and salad fingers’ mental state: 

ive been trying to figure out what the fuckhell happened with the yvonne incident and everything that happened in the birthday episode

im really concerned for salad fingers’ health and mental state, as it seems to be deteriorating 

some yvonne theories ive seen:

1. he ate the burned corpse of the kid who died in the oven, and it made him very sick, which ultimately resulted in a charred mass he couldn’t digest - he steadily gets worse, until his body finally ejects it (yvonne’s “birth”) and after that his health starts to recover again. since the oven incident happens really early on, all the times he mentions his stomach being upset after that until he becomes deathly ill would make sense, so i think this is plausible 

2. the hair he found in the cupboard was actually a parasitic worm that grew in his stomach after he ate it and became yvonne. i think this is Possible, it is a really strangely wormy looking hair, but it doesn’t move and he mentions stomach pains before this, so it seems less likely to me 

3. i also saw the concept that salad fingers is a trans man who suffered a miscarriage at some point in his past and yvonne represents that, and i can definitely see where the idea is coming from but i do think something really physically happened to him in the present time, i dont think it was all a trauma-based hallucination, since the yellow guy reacts to the black ooze and something was definitely making him severely ill 

so. i Don’t Know what the fuck that was about but i think the burnt corpse theory makes the most sense 

on that note: there’s a lot of cannibalism imagery in salad fingers 

we have no IDEA where he’s getting food from. im pretty sure its been confirmed that he is Not a zombie, we see him bleed, pass out, sleep, etc so it seems like he must be a living person who has ordinary needs. but we see him eat... his own puppets. hairs. sand. the soup glass mother instructed him to make, which made him very sick. he has a working oven but doesn’t seem to have consistent access to water. he had a fish somehow but who knows where it came from. it’s very likely he doesn’t get food often and some of his hallucinations and mood swings could be caused by starvation (and when he does eat, it’s things that are outright inedible or probably not good for him) 

the burned corpse disappears and is never mentioned again (though salad fingers is very sick afterward). milford’s flesh disappears and salad fingers violently hallucinates multiple selves gorging themselves on unknown flesh

and what concerns me the most about that is that he loses a lot of time in that episode 

he passes out in the woods and when he wakes up, it looks like a shit ton of time has passed

we don’t know how much is reality and how much is his warped perception, but it looks like a tree has grown and his physical condition has deteriorated 

he looks really, really unhealthy and haggard for the rest of the episode 

i think he had a huge dissociative episode and lost possibly weeks of time, probably due to starvation, and he ate milford cubicle and very possibly other people as well 

so my question is. how often does this happen to him

and what happens to him during that state? does he become violent and dangerous without being aware of it when he returns to himself again? or has he just been ravenously scavenging corpses when he gets desperate enough? 

its possible dr papanak is another personality he has, one that’s “buried out in the woods” that he becomes when he’s in a really, really bad mental and physical state 

he looks much better in the next episode (though that’s also when he has his outburst with marjory. could be that he’s still staving off the violent urges/hasn’t fully come back to himself after the last incident) and I’m really hoping the fact that he was able to finally stand up to his family (at least in some sense) and smash the mirrors could mean he’s making steps toward recovery after whatever the hell all that was 

there’s not really much space to do anything with his life or get much help given the circumstances but watching him slowly losing himself even more is Awful :( 

i hope we get more episodes im so desperate for more information now 

lastly, some random observations 

i tried to read this newspaper and it looks like it’s actually written in french, which is interesting given that salad fingers seems to be british (but fond of france, and seems to speak french or at least knows one phrase) 

i wonder where he got this, or whether it ever meant something significant to him

theres a lot of evidence that he can’t read (takes no notice of the “harry” nametag and immediately names him something else, “reads” a letter that is actually a newspaper clipping in another language he’s holding upside down, “writes” a letter that is just scribbles) so i dont think he learned his one french phrase from this or anything but, still. vaguely interesting. maybe he has been to france before and brought this back with him for some reason. maybe he’s actually in post apocalyptic france and was just originally from england. We Don’t Know 

theres a weird little face in the. heater? whatever that is in the background for a second and i dont like it  

salad fingers leaves horace in charge, but then sees him (as a live horse) in the woods, but then comes back to find him both still on the shelf (as a toy) and in the room (as a live horse, now with his, uh, surgery scars) but doesn’t seem to notice this and doesn’t comment on it 

i dont know what the hell that means other than possibly his reality is even less consistent and logical than usual/a reflection on his mental state deteriorating 

#salad fingers #pinned #media analysis

[hamphobicbasil]

Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.

#wow this is long #txt #anti dsmp #anti dream #dsmp crit #dsmp critical #yeah im tagging it i dont give a shit #dream crit #dream critical #the story is shit yo!

[mediocrebnhablog]

Kiribaku+ bakusquad hcs

Getting together

This is a long one and if I had the talent I'd just make it a fic

They liked eachother for a long time before finally getting together but didnt wanna ruin their friendship and thought the other was way too good for them.

They each talked to the squad about their crush but they told different people. So it wasn't a Person C looks on in exasperation situation.

Sero was the first to notice something off and asked kirishima about it. Kiri tried to reassure him it was nothing but after a couple weeks of sero gently reminding him he was there to listen kiri finally told him he might have a crush on bakugo. Hes just coming around to understanding and accepting this himself so that's why he didnt come to sero before. Every once in a while sero will get a text saying how manly bakugo is but other than that it stays quiet.

Mina is next to notice. She thought kiri had a thing for bakugo for a while and hes only been getting more blushy. So she confronts him to make sure shes right. She may be the gossip queen but she makes sure the rumors have some hard facts behind em. Kiri gets really akward and tries to laugh it off but the blush definitely says otherwise. Shes a good friend though so she pretends to believe him and tells no one.

In second year when kiris crush gets bad and he decides he wants to win bakugo over. Sero tries to help but hes not very good at this stuff so he suggests mina. Kiris hesitant at first but realizes shed definitely be the best person to help. She pretends to be shocked and agrees to help him. After a week or so though she lets something slip and when kiri asks her about it she admits she knew about his crush for months.

Kaminari doesnt know about kiris crush but he did notice bakugo being alot more snappy and growly when people would flirt with kirishima. He makes a joke about bakugo being jealous and he gets yelled at. Most people would think this was all bakugo being bakugo. Hes always growly and when is he not yelling?? But kami knows somethings different. Hes surprisingly observant. When they're alone he tells him its totally ok to crush on kiri and he could talk to him about it if he wanted. Bakugo obviously yells at him and denies it but kami just laughs it off and tells him again he can come talk whenever.

Because kaminari fears no God when he and bakugo are out of ear shot he'll tease him about kiri. This goes on for a few weeks but then bakugou mellows out a bit and usually just mumbles and pouts after his usual threats (that are definitely for show). When they're completely alone with no chance of anyone hearing bakugo scream he starts casually talking about kiri and the rest of the squad. He doesnt mention the crush and when he notices bakugo is actually listening he talks more and more about kiri specifically. Eventually he sees that bakugo has a soft look on his face and a small blush and that's when he brings up the crush.

Bakugou looks like he wants to yell at him but it comes out really soft when he says "shut up why should I care about that?" Kaminari laughs and tells him his secret is safe and that bakugo should totally go for it. He even says he'll help bakugo "get over his emotional constipation." At that point bakugou does try to blow him up but he accepts the help none the less.

So for many more months kiri and bakugo are flirting with eachother more trying to win the other over while they get flustered at any attempts the other makes. So when bakugo invites kiri somewhere kiri asks if the rest of the squad is going. Or when kiri flirts the way mina taught him to bakugo gets really flustered and yells stfu. Because bakugo gets red when hes angry (seperate hc) kiri doesnt think it's a blush and thinks he doesnt like the flirting.

Kaminari doesnt know about kirishimas crush on bakugo and mina and sero dont know about bakugous crush on kirishima cause they're all great friends who would take this secret to their grave if need be. So after every attempt to flirt with each other the squad is just in the background being supportive. Like "nice try man we'll get him next time" :D trying to reassure them "no, no he totally likes you back! Did you see that blush?"

The reveal happens cause bakugo caught sero and mina setting something up for him and kiri. Bakugo catches them and when he asks about it they get all jumpy. He threatens them but even then they wont say so he tells them if it's a prank it better not affect him. They swear it's not a prank so bakugo leaves it at that.

Later when kiri asks him to hang out later he brings him to the same spot. Bakugo obviously recognizes it but doesnt say anything. Kiri doesnt seem to find the different look of the place surprising so obviously he knew about it and theres no way kiri would do something weird. They're just hanging out but bakugo quickly realizes how romantic the atmosphere is compared to the last time they visited. He gets all shy thinking "wait does this mean he actually likes me back?"

Kirishima and the rest of the squad who were totally not spying see how bkg is acting and are excited cause this means their plans are finally working :D

Mina and kami get excited and accidentally make a noise. Bakugo and kiri dont notice thankfully but the other 3 do and they see eachother. [Insert spiderman meme] It turns into a "what are you doing here" "what are you guys doing here?" "I asked you first"

They try to be casual and keep it secret but they're bad at it and realize kiribaku like eachother cause why else would they other be there unless they were also totally not spying on the not yet couple.

They accidentally make another noise and this time they're caught. Kiri and bakugo are confused why the part of the squad that doesnt know about their crush is there but they forget about it when they realized they were being spied on. Mood ruined so they head back to the dorms.

For the next week the squad is trying to keep the fact that they like eachother back a secret cause they're not supposed to know while also being "dude trust me on this he like you back!"

After that week they're studying in one of their rooms and the tension is so thick kiri could cut through it without his quirk. They're both thinking about the Not Date but bakugo is thinking more about kami telling him he knows kiri likes him back.

After a couple hours of silence (not even kirishima asking for help) bakugo snaps. He demands to know what's up. Kiri laughs and tries to brush it off but bakugo calls bullshit. He brings up the Not Date and ask what exactly that was. Kirishima is stammering to the point bakugo cant make out any words and bakugo cuts him off asking if he likes him. Kiri tries to say yeah and imply that he likes him as a friend. Bakugo thinks the answer is too vague and makes him specify how exactly kirishima likes him. Kirishima thinks about lying but after hearing mina and sero tell him for a week that bakugo definitely likes him back he tells the truth.

After realizing what he said he gets nervous and starts rambling. He tells him why he likes him and the more he talks the more scared he gets. He tries saying how it's not that big a deal and it doesnt change anything and he totally understands if bakugo doesnt like him back.

Half way through bakugo comes out of his shock that kiri likes him back and grabs kiri by the front of his shirt. Kiri doesnt know what's happening and doesnt realize hes being pulled in until a second after bakugo starts kissing him. When he does register what going on he immediately kisses back. When they finally pull back bakugo whispers "shut up shitty hair. I like you too." This time kiris the one who pulls him in. He practically jumps on bakugo like an excited puppy as he throws his arms around him neck.

They could keep going but they have homework and bakugo knows kiri must have gotten alot wrong if he got anything done at all cause he didnt ask for help once in 2 hours.

When the bakusquad sees them the next day they're holding hands and bakugo yells at them to shut up multiple times before giving up. Not once does he let go of kirishima though.

#oh wow this really is long 0.0 #if anyone wants to know any other hcs i have about any other couple/character/squad feel free to send an ask #long post #kiribaku headcanons #kiribaku #kiribaku hcs #kirishima hcs #kirishima headcanon #kirishima eijirou #kirishima #bakusquad headcanons #bakusquad hc #bakusqaud #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakushima #bakugou headcanons #bakugou hcs #bnha headcanons #bnha hcs #mha hcs #mha headcanons #my headcanons #my hcs #my ask be open #mina ashido #sero hanta #kaminari denki

[logically-asexual]

im so annoyed about this whole remus and logan thing i can’t stop thinking about it. so a long ramble under the cut.

i finally am being able to put into words what bothers me about logan’s character development, particularly him vs the dark sides.

first of all, virgil. virgil had a whole season for his development that was kind of natural and credible. he is a nuisance in different ways, thomas recognizes he has anxiety and looks for ways to cope, which logan learns to bring up later, then virgil keeps causing trouble but makes some good points sometimes, then thomas decides to accept him for the good he brings and they all manage better. all this happens within episodes that aren’t always about anxiety. they SHOW us how the sides’ perception of him and his character have changed through the stories, instead of lecturing us about it.

with janus they kind of attempted the same thing but with a speedrun of three episodes that crammed everything together with little plot. in fact the plot is just an excuse to make every single step of janus’s developement happen, and this progress with janus is the center of the episodes. at least there is some plot, but its not as natural, we don’t see thomas struggle with him casually, we don’t see logan or patton learning information about how to deal with him. its not how a normal person would go through this. but we do see different stages of his acceptance and we see all the sides learning new things about janus gradually.

but then with remus they just pressed literally everything in one video and all the learning thomas would have to do about him and dealing with him that he did with virgil in an entire year happens in?? 40 minutes? because he (logan) somehow already knew everything and he just had to remind himself (patton and virgil) of it?

that’s how i see the dark sides’ development (?). now logan.

with virgil you could assume logan took note of what Lilly said in that first video, then logan and had thomas research about it and find strategies to later use them when they were necessary. as if Taking on Anxiety was a first step with learner’s wheels and then My Negative Thinking was thomas being able to repeat the process on his own. it makes sense. first someone teaches you and then you do it independently. you can believe there was a learning process with Logan’s help right there, beginning with Logan (and thomas) not knowing something and then researching (between videos), understanding it, to finally accepting it.

after the debate logan was still neutral about virgil, and was pushed to reflect more about his role until he disappeared, to finally come to the realization of why he was necessary, by remembering a small fact he learned while researching strategies (the yerkes dodson curve). that one isnt a streategy, so makes sense that logan just saved the info and didnt completely internalize it until it became useful. thomas learned what he was told to and then used it when the situation required it.

but with janus and remus thomas has to figure it all out on his own. except he doesn’t, because Logan already knew everything. he already knows what the dark sides represent, every single thing they encompass, he knows what the studies say about the problems they cause, he has understood, accepted, and internalized everything before the videos even start!! and then its only him telling the rest of the sides what he already learned on his own? he learned all this with the rest not being present or without it causing any emotion whatsoever? how can logan memorize all this stuff if thomas used to be indifferent towards it? you learn through connection with your emotions. it mAKES NO SENSE that logan knows all this.

also logan is defensive and gets frustrated easily. thats essential to his character. and you could see he was annoyed and bothered by anxiety in the first season. anxiety got in his way sometimes so logan also didn’t want him around at the beginning.  WHEn did logan have this development of suddently not caring at all what the dark sides do? not caring at all how remus affects thomas’s productivity while when roman does it he goes into screaming matches and even throwing stuff!!. it is stated that he does have feelings no matter how much he denies it, , then why doesn’t he feel anything At. All. when confronted by remus? why is he so calm around him? when did he learn to deal with him?

even worse: logan went through a whole arc of accepting virgil, just like the rest of them, but he still can’t even deal with Roman and Patton with whom he interacts literally every video?? he is so affected by them everytime they do something irrational, gets angry, and starts yelling about what does and doesn’t make sense. he says he doesn’t have this problem with remus because his ideas shouldn’t have an impact on thomas if they don’t let them. but when and how did he learn this? how does he know intrusive thoughts are different from other thoughts thomas has that he, as logic, doesn’t like?

logan said in the video its bad to try too hard to make sense of remus’s contributions. that sounds like something LOGIC would do. try too hard to make sense of him until (with experience and research) he realizes it is impossible and gets them nowhere, and also would end up hurting thomas more in the long run. then why can’t we see this development? how does he JUST. KNOW? how does he know before the duke is introduced what will and wont hurt thomas if this is the first time ever that thomas is hurt by him?

i can stay here complaining all day honestly. there’s so much logan as rational thinking, reason, logic, of a person (who doesn’t have any experience with therapy or believe in it, apparently) could have gone through while learning about dark sides of your personality. they dont have to show it on camera if they think they already showed enough of this process for virgil! but somehow imply that this development happened, and not just have logan suddenly be this perfect all knowing  entity that knows exactly what to do before it happens. i think logan lecturing them about intrusive thoughts for 20 minutes was a lazy decision, no matter how much work it took to write those dialogues. its lazy because it doesn’t fit with the storytelling style they chose to make Sanders Sides with, but they didn’t take the time to figure out a way to make it fit.

im going off again.again i can do this all day. but im going to stop now. sigh.

#logan sanders #im no writer and i dont know much about intrusive thoughts #im just talking from my own reasoning #remus sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #ts criticism #? i guess thats how ppl are tagging it?

[blondebooklion]

why it drives me crazy when people say c!ranboo has no morals but think c!wilbur and c!ranboo could still have potential to be narrative foils

morals:

loyalty to family/friends: in both his normal functioning and his enderwalk stage ranboo is incredibly defensive of his loved ones. this is 100% the center of his moral compass. he doesn't do certain things he fears will upset others (thus succumbing to peer pressure yes) but i deeply disagree with people argument that that is proof he has no moral backbone. particularly due to a couple of instances:

ranboo visiting tommy in exile: while not directly breaking the rules there was a general expectation, especially the people ranboo spent his time with, of not really visiting tommy. it wasnt really a set rule or anything but ranboo was definitely putting himself at risk by doing so.

protectiveness over michael: when sam and puffy showed up to prank ranboo, he was incredibly defensive over his son. he was ready to kill to protect his son if it came down to it.

rescuing tommy+tubbo: while we have it confirmed this instance was in their enderwalk stage, ranboo going both proves ranboos values in the enderwalk are the same (or i'd argue strengthened even) ranboo moved protectedly in front of tubbo when he and tommy had separated

forgiveness: he is willing to give people more than one chance, he is incredibly quick to judgements but for the most part he does not rely on other peoples opinions of each other to dictate the way he feels about them, he does take it into account in his overall image of them, but like with revivebur, he is willing to offer him a chance.

reciporcity to kindness: when people are kind to him, he is kind back. y'all let this slide as a moral with techno. it counts here. no im not counting it as necessarily loyalty because he is polite and kind even to those he isn't close to.

self-reliance: for better or worse ranboo does not think he needs other people to survive, in many instances he has displayed thinking he and everyone else would be better off if he were isolated. he does not want to depend too much in anyone, which can especially be seen in his desire for wealth. i think it has always been more about i dont have to rely on others, if things go south i can still survive (obviously part or it is needed something to do on stream, im applying other characteristics of ranboo to infer) but we can also see this in him retreating to himself (panic room, not telling anyone about his book being missing) when he is threatened because he believes the best way to handle it is himself

security: ranboo is incredibly driven bu his desire for safety and stability for both himself and for his loved ones. he thrives on consistency. he struggles the most when things begin to change.

difference between foil and antagonist (just for clarity cause some people have been switching up the definitions)

"an antagonist is a character who is in direct opposition to the protagonist. their actions deliberately hinder the protagonist from achieving her goal. this relationship helps build conflict and propels a story forward."

"a foil exists simply to shine the spotlight on certain traits of another character, without necessarily creating opposition or conflict."

credit: masterclass

the opposing traits/beliefs that i think will cause the most conflict between the two (ranboos will be written like this and wilburs like this to differentiate)

leader vs follower

probably the most obvious contention point, pointed out on 5/05 stream by wilbur pressing ranboo on what he stands for. wilbur wants to be in charge. but i think ranboo is how wilbur wanted people to value him. wilbur wanted to be the guy that everyone liked because he believed being liked comes with power. ranboo does not necessarily want to be well liked by everyone, but he wants to at least be neutral so he does do things in order to keep them on his side

conflict driven vs conflict averse

wilbur thrives on chaos and conflict, much like dream he is willing to manipulate situations. rqnboo does everything he possibly can to avoid it

cockiness vs insecurity

wilbur is obviously bold and arrogant. he thinks extremely highly of himself and the postions he does and could potentially hold. he is ruled by this factor and often does not think about the consquences of his rashly made decisions(thats not to say he isn't calculated or intelligent, he is, he just focuses on how things affect him rather than others)

means to an end vs no ulterior motives

all of ranboos bonds are strong because when he cares about people he does what he needs to to take care of them, they usually initiate out of instances of kindness, but he does not seem to expect anything in return. he cares about people because he loves them, nothing more nothing less. wilbur however while some of his relationships were initially based on care the motives became corrupted and its hard to say whether there are any relationships he has at this point that aren't ruled by some kind of benefit for him (my only guess for that would be phil)

similaries: paranoia, trust issues, secretiveness

ranboo and wilbur really are two sides of the same coin, yes they are opposites in a lot of aspects but despite the differences in their values orginate from the same place they jutted of in two completely different directions, they tried to solve the same issue in vastly different ways. ranboos paranoia was attempted to be solved by isolationism, while wilburs mainly tried to solve it through manipulation. ranboo pushed people away and wil tried to force them to be around. both backfired for them and caused them to retreat further into the paranoid states demonstrated by wilbur blowing up l'manburg and ranboo catastrophizing with hearing dreams voice.

I think wilbur's main contenion with ranboo resides in wilbur thinking ranboo glazes through life easily, and that they disagree on what morals means. being more confrontational does not mean you are more or less moral than another person. wilbur does not understand that differing morals does not equal none at all.

I don't think their relationship is going to act as an antagonist because while ranboo is actively keeping an eye on wilbur it wouldn't really make sense for ranboo to suddenly be more confrontational. I know a lot of people are citing the Burr vs Hamilton relationship as parallels in their dynamicI want to remind you that narrative foils are not conflicting in nature. conflict can happen. but the point of them is to highlight the differences in character traits.

likening to burr vs hamilton

burr wanted power but he wanted it to come to him vs hamilton wanting power and actively chasing it

yes this makes sense for wilbur, but it doesnt for ranboo. ranboo doesn't want power. he never has. the reason burr waits on the sidelinesnis cause he is waiting for the chance to act, but ranboo is not waiting for something to happen, in fact he would rather have the exact opposite, for things to be as uneventful as possible.

"Hamilton’s success at the expense of his personal life is countered by Burr’s relative lack of success and his happy family life. Both of these are directly due to the two’s differing goals and approaches to life. Burr and Hamilton are two side of the same coin, opposite results with the same starting conditions."

source

this is exactly what I referenced earlier between the two. ranboo cares about family, wilbur about career. while a lot of their behavior originated from a similar place, their paths rapidly diverged.

hamilton's downfall at burr's hand

i'm gonna be honest i find it extremely hard to believe that a situation will exist where wilbur waits and ranboo acts. however, if one does i still firmly believe it will be revolving around (likely in defense of) the people ranboo loves and cares about, specifically michael, tommy, tubbo. it would be where he is cementing his views of choosing people. but wilbur being hesitant is still difficult for me to think of a scenario on which he would that hesitant? for it to be his downfall?

important to note: ghostbur did also akin ranboo to burr so it is definitely possible that this dynamic is going to countinue to playout in the future

I will shut up now thank you for reading. reminder that this is just my interpretation and analysis, obviously looking at different details could lead to different conclusions. i'm super willing to discuss as long as we are both going to be respectful of each others opinions and courteous <3

#ranboo #wilbur soot #revivebur #long post #also let me know if i need to tw anything else #tw paranoia #tw anxiety #tw death mention

[akampana]

Continuation of this ask

Bedivere x Arturia - Ship it

What made you ship it?

TBH I was one of those few people who shipped it based on that like 2 second scene at the end of FSN. The Camelot Singularity just reinforced it. A lot came from the original Arthurian legend as well. Bedivere is similarly insanely loyal as he is in the game, and like in Fate lore, he’s been with Arthur longer than most.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

He journeyed so far for so long just to see her smile OH MY GOD BRB IM SOBBING HOLY CRAP CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE—

I’m a sucker for intensely loyal knights and I will always be. ALWAYS.

THE ANGST POTENTIALLLLLL but also THE FLUFF POTENTIALLLL

This man loved his king so bloody intensely. So strongly that his desire to see her survived the test of time. To be loved so much, so unconditionally for a thousand and a half years? Gods, that’s just too much, man. ;-;

And I absolutely adore how much it means to him to remain her knight, even if he tends to be insecure about the limb that he lacks, and how he believes he is nothing special in comparison with everyone else. I love that Arturia recognizes his strength and his worth, even if he himself can’t see it.

THE ENTIRE CONFRONTATION IN THE THRONE ROOM LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CRYING SOOOOO HARD THROUGHOUT THAT IK NIT EVEN KIDDING

THIS, the MINDBREAK Arturia goes through when she tries to remember

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think that THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I REALLY OUGHT TO CONTRIBUTE

All the other answers below cut!

Irisviel x Arturia - Ship It

What made you ship it?

I think I was bound to the moment I watched Fate Zero. When I was younger it was overshadowed by the feels Diarturia brought and not to mention Kiritsugu and Iri but this ship is damn good on its own.

What sold it though, is the argument she and Kiritsugu have in Episode 16, right after the last Saber and Lancer fight. Irisviel, who we all know loves her husband so much, forced Kiritsugu to answer Saber. That’s just how important Arturia was to her.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think they both found in each other something they themselves lack. It’s actually kind of funny. Arturia is human, and yet she’s so heavily consumed by her ideals that she doesn’t act like one. Irisviel, on the other hand, is not human, and yet everything that she does and wants to do is exactly that.

Throughout the anime, Being with Iri puts Saber into such mundane, ordinary situations that it teaches her to live. The suits, the escorting, being a passenger instead of a driver, appreciating the water by the seashore, etc. It's like the woman wants to leave her with some appreciation for the world, especially when she herself doesn’t have all that much time left.

On Irisviel’s part, I think she found in Saber the companionship she would have wanted from Kiritsugu during the last few days she remained on the Earth. Arturia had been the perfect knight in shining armor, taking Irisviel around to see the world as much as they could amidst a war. If they’d just had more time, I have no doubt Arturia would have taken Irisviel even more places, you know?

It makes me sad :( but in a good way.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m pretty sure Irisviel would wear the pants in this relationship ya know what I mean? Hahaha

Much as I love this ship, I think that it becomes all the more valuable because of how it ended. To each other, they were this brief, fleeting feeling of happiness. A love that was so short and yet so strong.

Shirou x Arturia - Don't Ship it

Hooooooo boi. Hear me out, mkay ? But this is just my personal opinion so pls no hate

Why don't you ship it?

I’m gonna start out by saying I don’t think I need to, tbh. Hahaha there’s enough content for this ship being fed to us, so my liking it or not is immaterial. But the reason is well...I watched FSN and Shirou x Saber was...not the best thing about it (the best thing about it was the soundtrack omg iconic) Shirou comes off as a bit of a misogynist, and kind of immature, and the whole time it’s like he doesn’t really listen to Arturia at all. Plus, it’s kind of like he just likes her looks at times. The final deciding factor was the date scene. That was just unbearable.

But then I go online and I see all this good stuff about them. And my friend ships them cause they’re canon, right? So, I’m like okay, what if I judged too quickly, let’s play the VN...and I did. And I still didn’t like him with Saber at all. So, I played the next route, watched the next anime, trying to redeem 1st route Shirou as much as I could but it just....didn’t happen. I think I can safely say I tried to like them. I really did. But no.

What would have made you like it?

Removing the misogyny and the immaturity and letting him listen to her. Like he should have.

At no point in their interactions did it feel like they were standing on equal ground, ever. Either he was speaking over her or the opposite. So less of that and a lot more respect.

And when you compare this relationship to what he has with like with his other two love interests, it makes this ship fall completely flat. It’s pretty...bland and honestly kind of shallow. It’s like the story just tells you they’re in love but there’s no answer to why they’re in love. Make him fall in love with her for her without necessarily forcing his need to save everyone on her.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I may not like how they got there, but in the end Arturia was able to pass peacefully.

I acknowledge that Shirou was important and made a change in her life.

That ending scene where they meet after so long, NGL is pretty sweet.

A lot of my headcanons happen post-Shirou, so there’s also that.

Archer x Rin -Ship it

What made you ship it?

Tsundere x Cynic has gotta be one of the best dynamics out there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

His true identity. The fact that she dragged him all the way across space and time to return as her Servant, that’s just bloody fate at work.

The fact that he keeps acknowledging she’s a strong Master despite his later conduct in UBW.

Archer is ridiculously crass and Rin is easily riled up. In the Fifth Holy Grail War, they had the best Master-Servant relationship period. They have this explosive chemistry that just works so well.

When he smiles at her at the end of the route, and you just know that Tohsaka’s gonna be stubborn enough to make sure Shirou doesn’t end up going down the exact same path.

I think it’s sweet that he ends up going along with her whims because he secretly likes housework.

THE PRINCESS CARRY/ CATCH. MAN OH MAN.

Unlike the previous ship mentioned here, these two actually stand on equal ground with each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's exactly an unpopular opinion, but I think they really ought to have more official content y'know? Rin is important in every route, and Archer's the actual climax of UBW and also entirely significant across three routes.

Medusa x Sakura - Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

Because while journeying through the routes, I always saw Rider as more of a best friend/sort of motherly figure to Sakura.

Or that Rider fulfilled the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with Rin, while Sakura unknowingly filled the void Medusa's sisters left in her life. I thought she was more of a guardian angel really, not a romantic interest. Kind of like how Heracles was to Illya.

What would have made you like it?

If I could maybe forget about the threesome with Shirou and the implied romantic feelings Rider has for him in Ataraxia that would be great.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Sakura deserves all the happiness in the world and I really do believe that Rider could fulfill that.

This ship DEFINITELY DEFINITELYYYYYY NEEDS MORE CONTENT

Diarmuid x Cú - Ship it

What made you ship it?

oooh this probably sounds surprising since based on my content you'd think, no i dont ship this BUT I DOOOOOOO (i just happen to hc them as bros more often)

Honestly what did make me ship it is the parallels.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

IMO They have the biggest potential for hurt/comfort amongst all the ships mentioned here.

They can help each other get through their trauma. Their whole relationship would be extremely healing and supportive.

I love that Diarmuid seems to have idolized Cú Chulainn at some point and honestly who wouldn't be honored to stand beside him, no?

They could be up to the funniest shenanigans because Cú is chaos and Diarmuid would absolutely be an enabler because when he isn't angst-ing he's super damn chill.

Bros being bros hahahah...unless?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really. Maybe that I think Lancer Diar and Cascu would get along better and Saber Diar and Lancer Cu would also get along better but honestly any form is good this ship is good

#akampana asks #bedivere #arturia pendragon #artoria pendragon #irisviel von einzbern #emiya Shirou #archer #rin #tohsaka rin #Medusa #sakura #sakura matou #diarmuid ua duibhne #cu chulainn #long post

[melodiesofblueroses]

Hi I saw that you were open!!

If love some fluff for levi, Lucifer, satan, mammon, and belphegor if you dont mind.

As part of mc's magic training they burn incense too focus. But this time Solomon switched the regular intense with demon nip ( cat nip for demons) as an experiment.

Suddenly the bro's get hyperly aware of mc's presence more than usual and become extremely lovey.

Plz remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself!💖💖

Aw thank you so much for the request!! This was so fun and cute to write.  I decided to go with hcs, and I hope that I managed to write what you had in mind! Take care of yourself as well, remember to take breaks, and I hope you have a good night/day  ❤ ❤

»»————-　♡　————-««

✦ Lucifer

Lucifer immediately knew that the incenses were changed and by whom, whether deliberately or by accident and regardless of smell or not

it was as if he had eyes all over the house (although that wasn’t too far of a stretch since the portraits did talk)

the moment he was aware that the usual incenses were changed with demon nip, Lucifer wanted to so badly march down to Purgatory Hall and punish Solomon

but you were so excited for your training, and you practically begged him to stay

ok, that was a lie. Lucifer just didn’t want to admit that he’d rather you not miss a lesson, although that was also just an excuse to spend more time with you

he could always punish Solomon later, and besides, he was one of the strongest demons, he should be able to ignore the effects

oh boy was he wrong

in the following days, Lucifer began to take notice of your presence more and strike up convos way more often, which did confuse you a bit, though you brushed it off as him not wanting to be held liable if anything were to happen to the human exchange student

what really bewildered you was the fact that he was acting so sweet towards you?? like, he’d usually address you formally and with a neutral tone

but now, although it was a bit subtle, his voice went a bit soft whenever he spoke to you, and you couldn’t help but notice how he smiled much more now around you

it was a surprising change, but a welcome one

“y/n, if the work at RAD is too much for you, I can always bring it up to Diavolo and have him lessen the workload”

“would you perhaps care to join me for dinner with Diavolo tonight? you can bring up any concerns you have with the program”

he began to take notice of your wellbeing much more, and while it did freak you out a bit at first, you grew to love it. his soft side was just too adorable

when the effects wore off, Lucifer made you swear to not tell anyone what had happened

if word got out that the demon prince’s right hand demon grew soft, it’d be a pr disaster!

and he also made it his mission to sabotage Solomon’s stay whenever possible in order to get back at him

although the effects did wear off, you noticed that he did begin to take care of you and notice you more, although it was wayy more subtle and you couldn’t tell whether or not he thought it was his obligation

whatever it was, you were glad that Lucifer had managed to open up to you just a tiny bit more

»»————-　♡　————-««

✧ Mammon

honestly, he’d have no idea that the incenses were switched

not because he didn’t know the difference (that was a possibility though) but because he was just too excited to spend some time with you

so you both thought it was a successful session and didn’t think much of it

when the effects kicked in, however, you began to notice that Mammon became a lot more clingy and affectionate

it was as if he was glued to your side, never wanting to leave you with some other demon for too long

“do you have an extra pencil I can borrow?” some demon asked you in class

“of course, here you g-”

“hey, what are ya doing with MY human??”

it does get a bit annoying at times, so when you tell him to knock it off, he’ll try to keep his distance

try

he was no exception to the power of the demon nip after all, but he would try to butt in less, although he was still by your side at all times

on the plus side, this means a lot of cuddles which you didn’t mind whatsoever

he was so warm and cuddly. it was a great way to end the day, especially when the two of you would accidentally sleep in each others’ arms while cuddling

he’d also shower you with gifts

that pen you offhandedly mentioned that one time when you were bored in demon history class? bam, it’s on your bedside table when you get home

you had absolutely no idea where he got the money from but decided it was better not to ask

you’d have to tell him to stop since the gifts were becoming a bit too much, but you really did appreciate the gesture

when the effects wore off, Mammon would become all flustered and try to come up with some excuse as to why he suddenly became all affectionate

“w-well, I was only tryna look after ya! it’s my job!”

you’d miss all the cuddles though, so when you told him that, Mammon would make sure that he’d make time for a cuddling session, although he said it was because you begged him and he, being the oh so great and generous Mammon, couldn’t turn you down

you were just glad that you were able to relish in his touch once more

»»————-　♡　————-««

✰ Leviathan

he’d probably pay no mind to the switched incenses or he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference since all that was going through his mind was laalkjr0*%#$ I’m spending time with y/n

when the effects started kicking in, however, Levi would definitely know that something was up

he was starting to think about you a lot more than usual, and he was super sensitive to your presence. you could very well be in the kitchen, but Levi would still be able to pick up on your location from his room

he’d deduce that someone must’ve made him unknowingly drink a potion or perhaps changed the essences during the training, to which his mind would automatically think of Solomon

ugh, how could he betray him? he was a fellow fan of tsl after all

although he tried to restrain himself, Levi would find himself always dragging you to his room, making excuses that he wanted to show you a new anime or game when in reality, he just wanted to feel your touch

you didn’t mind spending more time with Levi, but you did have a feeling that something was certainly off about him

he was asking you to come hang out with him in his room way more often, and whenever Solomon came over, Levi would say that he was too busy spending time with you??

it was all very odd, but it did mean more time with Levi so you weren’t complaining. this was a win

although Levi tried to restrain himself from asking or doing anything embarrassing, he’d often fail and ask to cuddle or hold hands

your warmth calmed him down, and the effects of the demon nip would wear off whenever you were around

you took this as a sign of him gaining more confidence in himself, so you were quite happy and often obliged to his requests

you did love cuddling him anyway. his jacket was so comfy

“h-hey y/n. could we, ya know, cuddle?”

the last part would come out as meek and quiet, so it’d be a bit hard to hear although you picked it up nonetheless

“of course Levi! I’m always up for some cuddles”

as a result, you practically lived in Levi’s room the entire time the demon nip affected him. the other brothers did pick up on this, but since no one else was allowed in his room, there wasn’t much they could do

like Mammon, when the effects wore off, Levi would be so flustered and go all red, finding it hard to even get out a sentence or two

he couldn’t believe he managed to not only spend so much time with you but also get to cuddle

he did love it, though he’d never admit it. Levi would miss all those cuddling, gaming, and binge sessions

but to his surprise, you always showed up either way, even after all the effects wore off, so he never did bring it up to you

Levi would like to think that he grew a bit more confident after the whole ordeal

plus, he’d have to thank Solomon for being so mischievous and switching up the essences

»»————-　♡　————-««

✣ Satan

Satan had sensed that something was off about the incense during you guys’ weekly training session though he tried his best to brush it off and paid no mind to it

he would soon come to regret that decision, however

Satan is a pretty perceptive guy, so he’d pick up on his symptoms quickly and realize that someone (cough Solomon cough) must’ve switched up the usual incense with demon nip

he’d try his best to keep his distance from you, but it was really difficult when he would catch on to your every footstep and breathe if you were anywhere near him

everywhere he turned, the tiniest little thing seemed to remind him of you

Satan couldn’t take his mind off of you, so he decided that the next best thing to do would be to confront it

so he’d invite you to his study where the two of you would read books by the fireplace (it helped liven the atmosphere) and discuss them until the next morning

you couldn’t really tell that anything was off since Satan kept his composure so well

but he was dying on the inside. he thought that having you close to him would help stave off the effects, but it seemed to only worsen them

so when he decided to ask if it’d be alright if the two of you cuddled, you were a bit taken aback since it was so sudden

but you happily accepted, especially since Satan did look a bit cute with pink on his cheeks

the moment he felt your touch, Satan felt his symptoms alleviate. it really was so relieving, but especially so because he loved your touch

it was so warm and welcoming, similar to that childhood home feeling that he never got to experience

having been born from the wrath of Lucifer, Satan often felt as if he didn’t belong anywhere, but your touch changed it

its warmth told him that he belonged here, and Satan couldn’t be happier

and so he relished in your touch for as long as he could, and even when the effects wore off, Satan found himself still missing your touch, as if the demon nip still had some sort of effect on him

once he felt your touch, he couldn’t go back. it was almost like a necessity for him, similar to how Beel reacts around food

and so, after this entire ordeal, you still spent quite some time clinging on to Satan

you, on the other hand, also greatly appreciated these cuddling sessions. Satan used to seem so distant, always having his nose in a book in order to learn more about the three realms

but now, you felt as if the two of you had grown closer (you had no idea what caused this change but you didn’t complain)

whatever it was, you were grateful, and Satan was grateful for that little experiment Solomon had pulled

»»————-　♡　————-««

★ Belphegor

would realize that something was up during the training session but would probably be too sleepy/tired to try and pinpoint it

as much as he loved spending time with you, Belphegor was about to pass out at any moment, and he’d rather do so in a comfy bed than on the hard floor

since Belphie is always sleeping with you beside him, when he wakes up with the symptoms of the demon nip, he thinks that it’s nothing more than him missing your warmth since you were nowhere to be found

eventually, he’ll begin to realize that no, it isn’t just him missing you but rather due to some sorta spell

he’d most likely try to sleep it off at first

but to no avail

even when he was sleeping, he’d dream about you and pick up on your presence so it was pretty hard to even escape from the thought of you

so he’d probably start being a bit more clingy, although it’d be more like he’d drag you to try and take a nap with him so you didn’t think anything was off at all

“hey, y/n, let’s go take a nap in the attic”

“Belphie we’re in class-”

you would notice, however, that he stuck by your side way more often

it was truly bizarre, but you thought nothing of it

perhaps he just felt left behind since he spent the least amount of time with you?

well, you didn’t mind seeing his adorable sleeping face everywhere, although your arm did often fall asleep at times, which wasn’t ideal when you were in the middle of taking notes

the demon nip would also have an effect on his dreams

in his dreams, Belphie would often feel your warmth, and everything felt at peace. there were no family tensions, no following Diavolo, and no troubles. it was such a shame whenever he woke up from it

and he’d immediately crave your touch once he did, since that felt similar to his dream, similar to his home

as a result, he’d spend a lot of time around you when the demon nip was in effect, always clinging on to you and dragging you to the strangest napping places

you didn’t mind it, however. for one, you got to spend way more time with him, and secondly, it was a good break from the workload of RAD

though he may become less clingy the moment the effects fade away, if you ever showed the desire to have him by your side again, Belphie wouldn’t hesitate to comply

he lived for your touch after all

#asks #obey me #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #headcanons #fluff #obey me shall we date

[nightswithkookmin]

With the grammy bomb im more than certain that there is a strain between jikook. They do interact but in a way that is so aloof. Their habitual gravitating towards one another doesnt happen anymore. And im talking about all the recent stuff from october onwards. Jk purposefully rear towards other members and i find jimin to be only open towards namjoon. All of his other interactions on cam are to make sure that everything is fine between him and others. And jk purposefully ignores or avoids jimin and doesnt have that unrestrainable affection towards him anymore. I say all this as a longtime jikook supporter. Honestly even if they had their 'fighting' periods i have never seen jk this dismissive. At least jimin isnt as affected as before. I dont understand how no supporter is admitting the obvious distance of jk.

Why are you being mean to me though😭

Please read my blogs. I think I have talked about this topic several times now.

May be I spoke 'too soon' before the loud moments that make these things obvious to most but still, I've addressed it nonetheless.

I feel if I respond to this, I'd just be repeating myself over and over at this point and frankly it gets boring for the people that read me- I think. Lol. I mean, once I start I never shut up. Lmho. So sorry in advance.

I agree with everything you've said, as well as all the observations you've made. I'm with you on it. Except, you made no definitive conclusions I could agree on, rebut, or share an opinion on. There is a strain on their relationship..... therefore? Lol.

I don't mean this in a rude way. I just don't think it's enough to point that out without drawing conclusions- unless you are simply taking notes of those moments? Or are you concluding that the strain is a sign Jikook are fighting, having problems or that they have broken up?

Not every tension between Jikook is a bad thing if you ask me or even as a result of them having issues in their relationship. This is something I keep regurgitating in my blogs. Not to say they don't have issues, they do. Hell, I get dragged by my roots on these streets for saying they fight, or even break up sometimes like any real couple would. They are real and they have real couple's problems sometimes too like any regular joe.

I'm glad you pointed out though, that Jimin doesn't seem as affected by JK's 'dismissive' attitude as before. Shouldn't that tell you that is a sign there is nothing wrong with their relationship this time around? Jikook is not one sided. JK isn't the only party to their relationship, neither is Jimin. They have an equal and sometimes opposite reaction to each other. One person's attitude or change in attitude tends to produce a ripple effect on the other. In my opinion.

If JK were to be 'dismissive' at all, it would emotionally and physically impact Jimin and he would have a reaction to it like he did in run 106. Compared to this, he didn't seem at all affected by JK's 'attitude' just as you've pointed out.

As I said a while ago, I honestly don't think or believe they are fighting or that they are broken up either- not to me anyway. Lol. I mean you could still pretty much see the intimacy between them in that footage. Jikook don't need to engage in skinship or overt and loud interactions to show they are intimate. And most times their overt and loud skinship and interactions are devoid of intimacy. That's the thing about intimacy, you can't fake it or hide it.

Jimin turning towards JK in his fit of excitement is a sign of intimacy between them regardless of whether he actually hugged JK or not. Then later on the couch, you could see him yearning for JK.

There were three people in that room- may be more if you count staff and yet JK was the only one Jimin seemed to want an answer from.

He was the one Jimin was emotionally inclined towards. The one who's comfort and affection he sought after- bless his heart, he hit his head on some solid rock knees and everything trying to pursue his need for physical closeness and affection from JK. If they were broken up or fighting, he wouldn't go to JK for his emotional needs.

He could try and 'interact' with JK, do the fanservice bit with him but he wouldn't go to him with his emotional needs- that would be inappropriate and unfair to JK. Jimin is an emotionally intelligent guy and he has a lot of thoughts and consideration for people's feelings and he is well aware of his limits and just how much he can push or get away with.

And I cite his Log with JK, where he announced he had started developing feelings for JK and then turned to JK to ask if he was ok with him saying that much on camera.

Thus, if he is emotionally 'gravitating' towards JK then it's indication there is a level of intimacy and a mutual understanding between them that JK fulfills an emotional need and ought to fulfill that emotional need for him.

And yes, I agree. Him hesitating when he wanted to hug JK is a sign there is something stressing their dynamics which is something I pointed out when that Grammy reaction video first came out. I knew something was stressing their dynamic but I couldn't figure out what because it was a very short video with not much going on in there.

The behind the scenes however, chilee. Lol.

I mean if you consider the fact JK went from moving a distance to console Jimin when he was crying on stage during the October ON:E concert, and you look at all the moments we've had from their overt flirting in 2021 season's greetings, the sexual innuendos in the BE behind scenes video, JK sniffing Jimin's hair in the Be unboxing video to that moment on the couch when Jimin hit his head on JK's knees- that shit look like it hurt. Damn. JK what is your knees made of! Lmho.

I am uncomfortable discussing a Jikook era or phase when it's on going on. I like to simply take note of certain moments and discuss them in post by reconstructing the timeline to place content in its rightful timeframe.

I can only share with you my working theory on such moments and for the most part, like I said previously I feel Jikook- especially JK is having issues with the company. Perhaps because the company stumbled on something they weren't supposed to see.

As for Jikook's personal development, I think we all saw this development coming, didn't we? After JM's birthday fiasco? I think I hypothesized at the time that whoever was in the 'wrong' in that situation would come swinging hard on their Jikook agenda in the aftermath. And with that whole GCF Tokyo reference, signing his name to JK's name at the pop up, the stealing looks at JK during interviews, checking him out left right left, trying to make Jk 'jealous' with RM at the Be press con red carpet, it's not hard to figure out who did what in that birthday situation.

I plan on writing a blog on this very topic, because I've received quite a few Asks about my thoughts on JK outing Jimin, military service and others that I find intriguing and want to discuss but I also want to discuss Vminkook dynamics, Jikook boundaries and I don't know which one to get into first. When I'm torn between options I end up not making a choice at all. Lol.

All I can say in regards to Jikook and their on going 'situation' is that- I love it. Lol. I love their dynamics, I love where they are at in their love journey, I love where they are heading. Jikook is just beautiful in every sense of the word.

I love what JK is doing. I love where he has gotten my bias to- which is confronting himself and figuring out what he wants from their relationship. Because, honestly you can't have your cake and eat it. It just doesn't work that way.

What you are seeing is just JK asserting himself against Jimin I'm afraid. It's the push and pull thingy all over again.

I keep talking about 'the boy in love with Jungkook' being a facade and persona Jimin hides behind to love JK and most people don't understand.

JK's persona is not the boy in love with Jimin. It's the boy cold and shy who rejects Jimin- well at least that was the persona he had in their early dynamics around debut.

He has since shed that persona and the bold, fearless, assertive JK we see on the screens is him choosing to unapologetically express his love and feelings for Jimin. And jimin enjoys that.

But you take a look at Jimin, and you don't see that drastic change in his persona or the way he expresses himself with JK- I mean let's call a spade a spade.

Do I think Jimin loves JK? Absolutely. Do I think he is being authentic in the way that he expresses those feelings to JK on camera? Only to an extent.

It's obvious who Jimin is to JK or even the way he expresses himself and his love for JK is slightly different off camera than the persona we see on our screens. For one, clearly JK is not used to seeing Jimin prioritize others over him or be overly affectionate with others besides him. I mean it's been seven years. Ten, if you count the periods before. You'd think JK would get used to JM doing skinship with others or showing affection for the others especially since they've lived together over half of the time and yet here we are, frying pans away from the apocalypse whenever any member breaths near Jimin. Damn JK. Lmho.

Do I think his persona is slightly exaggerated? Yes. But I also think JM downplays his love for Jk with his 'Mr I'm available' personality, his Kumbaya attitude, and his I'm just a nice guy on the block character, which often leads to people questioning whether or not he treats JK different from the group. Don't get me wrong JK does this too.

Jimin loves JK. But at this point the question is is he expressing that love in the way that meets JK's emotional needs? Is he allowing JK to love him and express the love he feels for him in the way that makes him happy?

I think that's what the birthday fiasco is all about.

If you don't want JK openly showing and expressing his love for you in a way that he wants to and in a way that holds meaning to him and makes him feel fulfilled as well in the relationship then what is the point of him holding on to the glass closet?

Two can play that game. Lol.

It's JK's needs above the groups and I feel he is putting it right up there next to JM's needs because they are both valid.

You should have seen JK's face when Jimin decided tell the truth about his location on September 1st in that BB press interview.

I remember pointing out that when JM started that narration with the first person pronoun he was going for a well curated narrative perhaps one the group had agreed on prior to avoid confirming his location on the JK's birthday like they had tried to do during the VLive but dropped that and went with the honest truth the moment he started talking about being with Jk and using 'we' instead of 'I' in his speech.

I'm glad the interviewer from his Weverse magazine interview confirmed and pointed out this tell or habit of Jimin when he speaks,

"When he’s talking, Jimin often starts his sentence with phrases like, “I just,” “it just,” “they just …” But then he immediately goes on to open up about his feelings, always providing a sincere response."

At least now we know for sure he wasn't lying about his location- for all those who called him a liar.

Anywho, my point is it makes JK happy when Jimin expresses his love and feelings for him. But it also makes him happy when he is able to show the world just how much JM means to him.

He didn't get those tattoos for nothing. He didn't do the GCFs for nothing. He didn't nibble on his ear in front of thousands of people for nothing- had he posted for Jimin on his birthday, given how he hadn't done that for anyone in a year, it wouldn't have been for nothing either. In my opinion.

When I tell y'all Jimin is gonna wake up one day with JK's ring on his finger and he wouldn't know what hit him. Chilee. Lmho.

Listen, JK is in love LOVE with Jimin. It's my opinion and I'm gonna treat it as fact because I believe it- if you disagree keep it to yourself. I don't wanna hear it. Lol.

That boy is in love with my bias. Ain't nobody gonna tell me nothing. Lol.

Seriously though, JK loves Jimin and he loves expressing those feelings for him. He goes overboard sometimes with it to the point it's borderline outing but we don't talk about that. Lol.

He's progressed through out the years from hiding his feelings for Jimin, whispering I love you's to JM when he thinks JM is alseep, slipping matching plasters onto his finger, all the way to Rosebowl.

If you ask me, he wants to be Jimin's equal in every sense of the word and as much as he loves to be at the recieving end of JM's affections, he enjoys being at the giving end.

And if JM has the cover of 'the boy in love with the Maknae' and it works perfectly for him not just as a persona but the perfect excuse for loving Jk then you gotta wonder what cover JK equally has for loving JM the way that he does. He has none. His every move is questioned by members, by staff, by fans- why do you film Jimin so much, why not put Tae in there for clicks, why are you constantly with Jimin and other invasive questions like that.

Jimin gets away with a lot of things than JK because of his personality and his persona. People would question the things JK does most of the time while dismissing the things Jimin does as either fanservice or as flowing from his personality. Whereas JK cannot get away with those same things.

We paint JK as Jeonlous and possessive but we forget most times he acts that way so Jimin doesn't have to. Jimin has said he doesn't share his friends and yet somehow we think he is ok with sharing his boyfriend with 5 other members or those 5 members with his boyfriend- this is code, let it sink in.

There is a lot of boundaries he instills there and it's equally an expression of possessiveness. Yet it's so subtle you might not even notice.

Jk makes Jimin look cool. He takes the fall so Jimin doesn't have to. When JK takes a step back that's when you see how whipped JM is- the neediness, the clinginess- PJMs give me a break. *rolling my eyes. It needs to be said. I love Jimin too but shit, it is what is. Lol.

I think it's gonna take a while for Jk to open back up to Jimin, to get in the space where he feels safe expressing himself with Jimin the way that he was doing before Jimin's birthday.

It doesn't mean he hates Jimin or doesn't love him or doesn't want him or doesn't care. But I think Jimin needs to step up to show he is on the same page as JK because JK is all about reciprocity. He ain't about to do the one sided unrequited nonsense. Lol.

Honestly all this is part of Jikook's dynamics. This not the first time Jk's closed himself off. The last time he did it was because they had gone through a nasty breakup- I said what I said. In my opinion nonetheless. Lol.

In the aftermath of it, he was expressing similar behavior. In Suga's Birthday Vlive this year for example, when Jimin was clinging to him and had his hands on his leg he didn't take the bait either- man was it frustrating to watch. Lol. But you could see JM wanted that physical connection with him. Did you see his smug face when Jimin was all over him?

I think he is just going through a phase where he needs reassurance of Jimin's love. Jimin is a big guy and he knows his man best and I think he knows exactly what he needs to do to get him to come around. Lol.

I mean he flew all the way from Paris to see him on his birthday didn't he?

I think we have to leave them to it. Just observe them. I hate commenting on a phase like this especially when it's on going. I'd rather talk about it after it's ended and a new phase has begun for them.

Part of supporting Jikook is knowing when to give them privacy and room to just unfold their story and be human. They are a living breathing love story after all.

Jk isn't being distant. He is just not interacting with JM the way we are used to seeing him do. But I feel that's part Bighit asking them to cool off and part him just wanting reassurance from Jimin.

At this point, I want to ask why you want people to acknowledge JK is closed off? To what end? I don't think anyone is denying that they are going through this phase- well the Kumbaya tradshippers are but why do you want me to acknowledge this fact? I already pointed out that there is something stressfing their dynamics.

They have their own personal stuff going on but I don't think it's much of an issue and at the same time they seem to be having issues with their company- You have to take all of that into consideration to see how that affects their dynamics as well.

You have to be aware of the timeline too. Because content is not released in chronological order, it may seem like a rollercoaster ride when in actual sense all of this may have happened with a specific time frame.

When it comes to Jikook always assume they are much closer than you think. Jikook is fine, I believe. Just take mental notes of these things for posterity. I wouldn't be worried about them.

As usual, this has been my opinion. Don't take it too seriously. Keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY