#its about overcoming those for the sake of love

[rise-my-angel]

hii mimi!! how are you?? how is everything? also!! what did you think of the most recent ep of tlou?? i love hearing your thoughts about shows!! ☺️☺️

I actually really love the small pockets of a somewhat normal life. First two episodes had what we know as a normal life but drenched in a looming dread of whats to be lossed. But then we get two main peeks of what is now. Under cut cus i talk so goddamn much:

Bill and Frank found harmony in their isolation and shows that the world is healing on its own already. Their lives and end had nothing to do with the world around them.

And I actually really liked Ellie at FEDRA. We barely know them, and have only seen one officer who even despite what he did l, wasn't just a bad guy. And I like Ellie's conversation with at the school. That these people are just like the fireflies. They believe they have the answer as to how to keep things together and their sacrifices are necessary. His talk with Ellie wasn't full of propaganda or manipulation. Just a man who thinks he's doing right by the world and wants to guide others. They do bad things, but so do the rebel groups and neither of them are totally in the right or wrong.

I do love how they didn't feel tempted to go for horror or shock snd show Riley's inevitable. Just like not showing Bill and Frank even just together. We know the ending for her because Ellie's in Marlenes hold not Riley. Its more tragic that we see her whole and never again.

I also, like episode 3 love how it shows that life still can be normal. That behind the walls or in them, people still find love and live a life that feels like before. The fact that so much of them was just pure goofiness in the mall was perfect. We saw normal can exist in Bill and Frank, that you can find it in Tommy and Maria, and now we see that Ellie already knows its possible. She grew up to be mostly normal and has experienced what love can feel like and now shes seen it out there, twice.

We never saw that with Joel after he left to go bail Tommy out of jail. Normal didn't exist for him but Ellie has seen and experienced it, she knows its possible and despite everything the person she wants to show that to the most is Joel. Its why she asks what theyre going to do with their lives after they reach the fireflies and not whats going to happen there. She knows what love feels like and now she wants Joel to remember how that feels.

Also, I love our two awkward as fuck little idiot lesbians. Two complete morons who perfectly capture "how romantic does this shit need to get before you dingbags are on the same level". On the carousel would have been picture perfect but they just don't know and they move on. I also love how Ellie also merciless bullies Riley, like she does Joel. Her love language is making fun of you and its the funniest thing.

Interesting I saw people say Ellies post bite reaction made them think Joels looked like that. But I don't think so. Ellie wasn't losing just Riley she was losing herself too. She KNEW (👀) she was at her end. Ellie reacted with upset and anger that finally spilt into tears when she accepted their fates. Joel's anger festered and grew. Spurred on by the people they surrounded eachother with who insisted they were indeed not good people.

I think Joel was numb for a while. So devastated his own soul had nothing left to give until other people ensured he could fill it with anger. Ellie's anger was instant and not really anger but helplessness. Its why her meeting Joel so soon after this is important.

She didn't have a chance to feel numb. She met Joel before that could kick in, and she recognizes someone who could be her. They're alike and I think Ellie picked up on it fast, and by reaching out to someone she felt could be her if she let herself forget the good she has seen and felt.

Its important they met so soon after, because while part died with Riley, her soul reached out to Joel before it could die too. They're the only people who could make that emptiness feel whole again for one another.

Also. Ellie is actually me excitedly asking if she was getting tacos.

#tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers #i just love how the show refuses to paint the world as miserable #it's not its full of life and love and it's not bleak and horrific #bad things happen (me looking at the next episode) #but it doesnt define things and it shouldn't be the focus #its why tlou 2 doesnt work for me #its a story about finding hope and healing through love #and having such an unapologetically bleak and macabre sequel strips away why the original worked #it's not about revenge or anger or violence #its about overcoming those for the sake of love

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

[teresajoan]

Astrology: Uranus in the houses

Uranus is righteous. Uranus is compelled to uphold values and beliefs for the greater good. Unlike Pluto, which destroys for the purpose of transforming, or Mars that destroys for the purpose of overcoming, Uranus destroys for the sake of what is considered right and fair. It will destroy in the name of truth and equity. It is the ultimate rebel and anti-authoritarion. It causes chaos in the face of resistance.

The house with uranus in it must act righteously, and the desired results must be righteous. Otherwise, volatility occurs.

1st house - You see the world differently and sometimes can't believe that you are forced to live in the constraints of society. Use your presence righteously to help others who are alienated.

2nd house - Spend money unselfishly. What you give to others will come back unexpectedly. Perhaps you don't even "believe in money," and you understand it as a created concept that keeps the poor suffering and the rich richer. You value unusual items and gifts.

3rd house - Others find it difficult to understand you and follow your chain of thoughts. You may get frustrated and exhausted by this, but you try to always speak your truth no matter what. Do this, and those who understand will love you. The ones that do not understand will be left behind. Use your words to advocate for others less fortunate in your community. The more you are involved in sibling drama, the worse it will get.

4th house - It's hard to find solid ground to call your home, but the more you hold onto the past is the more sudden and unexpected shake ups will occur. Practice empathy towards your family, and you will be truly empathetic to yourself.

5th house - Be respectful and kind in love. Do not fuck with others hearts, or it will come back around. Be open about the strangeness and taboos that you seek from the beginning. Sudden wins and loses in gambling. Unexpected accidents with children or pregnancy. Consider revolutionary ideas around these topics and how you can advocate for others in such positions.

6th house - You're compelled to fight authoritarian figures in your day and in your society because you hate being controlled. Step outside of the defensive fight and come up with your own routine and process without expecting others to agree to follow along.

7th house - Approach others with a fair and equal attitude. The more you celebrate the difference in others, the more it will be celebrated in you. You seek unusual partnerships and have open ideas about marriage, however, this must be actioned with consent.

8th house - Respect the property of others and do not fight over inheritance for selfish reasons. Embrace the sudden changes and loss. Fighting against it will cause more chaos.

9th house - Take ownership of your own learning. Your views and beliefs are against the norm and for the bettering of society. Just don't let your ego get so attached to your opinion that you close yourself off to learning. Otherwise, a greater force will have no choice but to continuously shake up your beliefs.

10th house - You are viewed by others as "different" or "strange." You should work to change society's perceptions, not to justify your strangeness, but to free others of stigma and discrimination.

11th house - You are the natural humanitarian. Its easy to get suddenly swept up in revolutionary ideas. Earn your money outside of the norm. Be careful when you dream strange and big for society. It must be with the purpose of benefiting those who need it, not just anarchy for the sake of defiance.

12th house - You have a strong hidden desire to break away and be free. You want to travel and explore alone. However, you can not avoid your generational karma. It follows you everywhere. The more open you are to understanding this, the more pleasant surprises will be delivered to you in unusual ways.

#astrology #witchblr #astro observations #astroblr #uranus #aquarius #transits

[ouroborosorder]

Hi! As someone newer to ak, I would actually really love a “rawest Ak lines” list if u don’t mind sharing!

Okay so if I *did* run this, I would have to crowdsource some, because I haven't read everything, and I don't always remember to update my document when I do read shit. So my list is extremely biased, extremely incomplete, and very all over the fucking place. Do not take this as a comprehensive list, but rather just some of my favorites:

Patriot: "Rhodes Island. I will advance." A classic. A legend. A salsa that everyone at the table can enjoy.

Rosmontis: "You didn't want to die alone. You want to be remembered by me, and live on within me. But no. I came here just to watch you die. And now, I've forgotten you."

Eblana: "You'll remember me, shapeshifter. Your long and refractory memory will have chapters that belong to me." (not the official translation but I'm using this one because it goes SOOOO much harder)

Andoain: "I would rather be the torch that burns by the feet of those who are freezing to death. Even if its flame will soon be extinguished."

In game boss description text for Kristen Wright: Egotist. Betrayer. Seeker. Loner. Pioneer. Goodnight, Terra.

and of course, Woodrow: "May this bullet forgive what my heart cannot."

and then of course, Stultifera Navis, which has so many it was basically a contest to see who got the coolest line before the event ended. I have literally 8 lines in my notes document, my favorites being:

Irene: "You have not sinned in any way. The Holy Scriptures do not even mention your existence. Right now it is only I, as an Iberian, who is handing down this verdict. The scourge of the seas must be wiped out. You have no right to live. In the name of Iberia."

Carmen: “You, and your pathetic ideas, will be buried in Iberia. Before your last breath, be sure to pass on our thunderous roar to your kin. ‘The sea faces an ancient enemy called civilization, one you stand no chance of overcoming.'”

Captain Alfonso: “Remember this well, Irene! Return to land and sing the praises of Alfonso's feats! The last monster that Alfonso slew... was himself!”

Ulpianus: “If you care about the word of God, then so be it. The Seaborn are not gods, nor are their forefathers. I have seen how your gods die, their screams coursing through the currents, their flesh and blood smeared across abyssal ravines.”

I think for the sake of the hypothetical bracket, I'd probably want to limit it to one line per event before the entire thing is consumed entirely by just Stultifera Navis

#arknights

[lyriumcoloredskies]

Shaken Up Hearts

Pairing: Sanji x Reader, Zoro x Reader, Zoro x Sanji, Zoro x Reader x Sanji WC: 10k Summary: Sanji's brain short-circuits. What? Did he hear that correctly? You both wanted him? “Don’t over think this.” Zoro murmurs into his ear, hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin. CW: 18+ MDNI, alcohol consumption, misunderstanding, idiots in love, porn with way too many feelings, angst, jealousy, pining, PIV, anal sex, oral, threesome, guy on guy, girl on guy, bisexual sanji, bisexual zoro, reader is described as AFAB, polyamory, happy ending AN: *taps cigarette on the ashtray* look idk what to say, this was supposed to be a 5k word mindless smut but it turned into this because I am incapable of writing smut without feels it seems.

Faithfulness and resoluteness.

You and Zoro.

The two of you are held in high regard as the oldest crew members, with you joining only a few days after Zoro. Dependable and resilient, should any troubles find them on the seas, the crew knew they could always rely on you two. The sentiment is shared between you and Zoro. Time and time again, Zoro proved himself worthy of the mantle of first mate, making agonizing decisions for the betterment of the crew when even Luffy couldn’t. He was a surprising voice of pragmatism in the hardest of times, something you appreciated him for.

Zoro’s opinion of you ran deep as well. Steadfast, you were a beacon in the darkest times, an outstretched hand always offered to any nakama in need. Without hesitation, you always had the right words to breathe new life into the resolves of those around you.

It’s a deep respect that’s built off watching each other defeat every obstacle to persevere despite the difficult nature of having such large dreams in a vast ocean that only knows to crush the people that enter its waters. It’s something primal as you watch in titillation as Zoro dominates his adversaries with his iron will, something Zoro reciprocates with a voracious gleam in his eyes any time he fought alongside you.

That respect for each other would sometimes turn into something mischievous. Two tigers testing the limits of each other’s boundaries, teeth bared at the anticipation of gaining ground. Friendly competition the two of you called it – the crew called it anything but. The two of you were people who, once you set your mind to something, would chase the ends of the world for it. This included winning childish competitions. It was impossible to break the two of you apart when you decided to sink your teethes into each other like snarling pups. The point was proven early into your journey, during the banquet at Vivi’s castle, an incident that would aptly be named the Drinking Contest Incident of Alabasta, where the two of you were goaded by Usopp into seeing how many barrels of alcohol each of you could consume.

'Surely they won’t go too far' Usopp thought.

He was proven wrong when both you and Zoro neared the bottom of the second barrels, only taking a break to puke in the Royal Alabastan Gardens before going back to drinking – health be damned. The night ended in you and Zoro out cold, laid out on your sides as to not choke on your own vomit while Chopper flittered about, panicking that the two morons might actually die in his care. After seeing Chopper’s visage overcome hysterics, face streaked with tears and snot, Nami beat the both of you over the head the next day. She sternly put her foot down on any future y/n and Zoro competitions. The rest of the crew dutifully agreed that you and Zoro were not to be trusted. It only took two more incidents for you and Zoro to admit they were right. It was purely out of self-preservation, lest the two of you not even survive to see your dreams fulfilled. Occasionally the competitiveness would rear up, but time had tempered the two of you. The both of you found less and less things worth fighting over, no longer did you fight over bottles of wine and sake, instead choosing to share.

Life was funny in that way.

****

You were on your 5th bottle of wine and Zoro on his 7th, not that you were counting.

Of course not.

The warm embrace of alcohol has long since settled in your flesh, the balmy air adding to the flush of your cheeks. You found yourself swaying to the beat of the Shandorian drums, beat thrumming in your veins. Drunken eyes watched as your crewmates and the Skypeians dance around the bonfire, care thrown to the wind. You glaze over the figure of Usopp surrounded by a group of children, no doubt enthralling them with a legendary tale of Captain Usopp, commander of 8000 troops.

A mixture of the wine and altitude have you searching for a place to sit, wanting to not fall on your ass in spectacular fashion. Your head swivels about, you see Robin in deep discussion with Gan Fall and rule that out. Another turn a few degrees to the left and you spy Zoro sitting alone. Fueled by bad ideas and Skypeian wine, you grab another bottle before settling on the log next to Zoro, leaving a comfortable distance in between. The rich tannins of the wine dance delightfully on your tongue, and you decide to take another pull before you offer the bottle to Zoro. He accepts, your fingers minutely brushing against each other at the pass. He takes a moment to read the label before taking a swig, throwing his head back, the prominent veins of his neck highlighted by the firelight. Traitorous eyes linger for too long at the bob of his adams apple. The two of you sit in comfortable silence, passing the bottle back and forth, watching the silly antics of your crew as they celebrate this hard earned win.

Zoro is the first to break the lazy pattern of back and forth with the wine. Your outstretched arm aches as you hold the bottle out for a mite too long. The confused look you offer him goes unanswered as well, the swordsman a million miles away. Your eyes follow his gaze and you can’t help the feeling that settles into your stomach with the wine.

It’s Sanji.

He’s staring at Sanji.

Sanji, who is bathed in orange glow from the bonfire, his porcelain skin flushed with pink like an angel dusted it over his cheeks. Emotions well inside of you, flooding into an ugly feeling that you found yourself wadding in. Not wanting to bother with the messiness of it all, you brashly decide to down the rest of the bottle, hoping that the burn of the alcohol would drown everything out. To hell with feeling bad on a night as good as this.

Unfortunately, like a whore on the day that the rent is due, the feelings don’t stop bothering you, nagging constantly in the inner cogs of your mind. Inhibited by the mind meddling nature of wine, your mouth opens and words you don’t recognize tumble out.

“Got a crush?”

Your fishing attempt snags you a gaping, sputtering Zoro. Fuck, now you wish you hadn’t said anything at all. Zoro’s hilarious dumbfounded expression only soothes your heart a tiny bit.

Unrestrained, a loud cackle rips out of you, another cheap cover to hide the hurt radiating through you. It seems to further Zoro’s embarrassment, the man’s cheeks flushing a pretty red. In an attempt to get even, he snatches the bottle from you only to realize it was empty.

“Asshole.”

The only response he gets from you is another cackle. It takes a few moments for you to settle down, letting the silence envelope the two of you again.

“If you like him so much, why don’t you tell him?”

You pick at the skin near your nails, an ugly habit.

“Tch. It’s not that simple.”

You roll your eyes, of course it was simple. Zoro was just an idiot. Irritation lingers like a fog in your mind as the wine fails to numb your pesky feelings. Quickly, you lose yourself, letting various fleeting thoughts pull you in every direction. Zoro doesn’t comment on your sudden silence, keeping you company while you think.

“What if I like him too?”

Two heads turn and eyes lock. Zoro’s eyes are dark and indecipherable to you as the firelight danced on them. Seconds tick by but neither of you drop your gaze.

“Marimo! Y/n-swan! Try these!”

Two pairs of eyes break their battle, swinging over to catch the sight of Sanji walking over, an excited wide grin gracing his delicate features. His signature cigarette firmly between his white teeth and in each hand he holds a skewers of meat and vegetables.

The blond thrusts a skewer to the both of you before sitting between the two of you. You examine the skewer, it’s comprised of some sort of marinated red meat and vegetables that look like mushrooms and leeks. Steam wafts upward and with it the smell of something peppery and tangy.

“The flavors are something I’ve never tried before! I asked them and they say that they use a combination of pink peppercorns and a citrus called the hand of god” Sanji prattles on, his enthusiasm palpable. You and Zoro watch him, engrossed in the boyish wonder on his face. Pairs of eyes meet again in a fragile moment. You have no words for Zoro and he has none for you, yet you know that the two of you understand each other. He studies you intensely before offering you a solid nod, one that you reciprocate. The cook chatters on, inhibitions lowered by the alcohol, oblivious to what was happening only a few inches from him.

****

The next few islands pass by uneventfully, both you and Zoro hesitant to make a move. It ends up an awkward dance around each other and Sanji, a weird tango of frustration whose steps involve having enough nerve to track down the blond but suffering from cold feet when it came to talking with him. It’s only after the events of Water 7 that you decide to muster up the gumption to try. Life was too short for you to shy away from the things you wanted, and you could tell Zoro decided the same.

“Sanji-”

The cook’s ears perk up at the melodic notes of your voice, heart stirring. He turns his attention from the prep work in front of him, meeting your face with a playboy smile.

“Yes, my sweet angel?”

“Do you mind if I watch you cook lunch?” you ask, the innocent tilt of your head making Sanji’s heart palpate. You wanted to watch him cook?

“O-of course my angel!”

You beam and it makes his heart beat rapidly. With gentle footsteps you pad into the kitchen. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the sounds of Sanji’s knifework taking over the small space. After a few minutes, his curiosity picks up and he peeks out of his periphery to see you standing a mere few inches from him, leaning close enough to touch his arm. He works on autopilot, hands relying on muscle memory as he prepped the vegetables for lunch. Your hands are clasped behind your back in your usual pose. For anyone else, Sanji would preen like a peacock, ready to show off his honed skills, but under the lens of your inscrutable eye, he feels so exposed. Trying to stave off sudden uncomfortableness of the silence his mouth opens, and he finds himself rambling about cooking techniques. Ever patient, you nod and comment in all the right places.

While Sanji loved every lady on the ship, in the deepest crevices of his heart, he would readily admit that you were his favorite. Your soft smiles of encouragement, the way you entertained his foolish notions, all of it made Sanji’s heart turn into goo in his chest.

Gods, you had managed to carve out your place in his heart so early, the memory often rewinding and replaying in his head. It hadn’t been long since he left Baratie to make his home on Merry Go, back when Luffy still had the habit of picking out the vegetables in all his dishes. You chided the boyish captain on his behalf. The first bits of kindness he received from someone who wasn’t Zeff or the Baratie cooks.

“Luffy, Sanji worked hard to cook us this food. Don’t disrespect his efforts by being picky.”

After dinner that you offered him an earnest smile, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“In case anyone hasn’t told you yet, you’re doing a wonderful job Sanji. Dinner was lovely.”

It made him feel like the same little boy stuck in the North Blue watching his mother eat his food for the first time. The grip you had on him had only tightened since then.

“You know Sanji, every time you cook, I find myself understanding you a bit more.”

Hands plating an intricate dish pause.

“A-ah why do you say that y/n-swan?”

Sanji’s heart seizes as you take one of his hands into yours, fingertips running over callouses and burn scars. An action so tender that for just a moment, Sanji could fool himself into thinking it was the touch of a lover. Your heated gaze focuses on his hands with a look of fondness, it causes him to reel, mind spinning with possibilities of what this could all mean. Did you want this just as much as he did? Did you spend your nights staring at the ceiling and thinking of him like he did with you?

“I understand why you don’t want to fight with your hands. When you cook it’s like a symphony, every movement you take, every dish you make, it’s all meant to nourish and heal. You’re built to love Sanji, not destroy.”

The lump in his throat grows until it’s too painful for him to swallow, edges of his vision blur with tears, threatening to fall. Was he so transparent that you could read him so well? A few words and you had flayed open his very existence, his heart and soul. The words you say mean more than you’ll ever know. His ocean eyes search yours hoping to find an answer to his lingering questions.

BANG

He jumps, the two of you breaking apart at the loud noise, any tension in the room dissipating.

“OIII SANJIII!! LUUUUNCH!!!”

Luffy catapult himself at Sanji, wrapping his limbs around him like an unruly octopus, much to the ire of the chef. Sanji tries to wrestle himself out of Luffy’s grasp, angrily yelling at him.

The loud noise startles you, your heart pounding a mile a minute in your chest. You marinate in the sudden surge of adrenaline for too long before you feel a hand on your wrist. Eyes trace it back to its owner – Zoro. He assesses you for a few seconds.

“You alright?”

Thud. Thud. Thud. Your pulse pounds in every inch of you and your lungs greedily swallow air and hold it in an attempt to calm down. Your thoughts race and you feel the distinct feeling of regret. Regret that you didn’t make a bolder move.

A wobbly smile is the answer Zoro gets, one that makes him frown ever so slightly. The sight makes him rub circles on your wrist with his thumb. The contact soothes you and you’re grateful that you had the swordsman as such an understanding friend. You settle a free hand on his, offering him a brighter smile, hoping to lessen his worries.

“I am.”

The two of you unaware of the pair of eyes that witnessed the scene.

****

Sanji stares from the railing of the Thousand Sunny, the light of the setting sun casts an ethereal rosy light over the glimmering ocean. Pinks, reds, and blues mashing into a myriad of colors that all swirl like glittering gems.

From the upper deck, it isn’t the sun or the ocean that Zoro admires. It’s the glow of the sun on Sanji’s face. His eyes trace the elegant slope of his nose, drinking up the way the sun dyes his fair hair into a strawberry blond. His mouth goes dry, his palms becoming sweatier by the minute. Plucking up some courage, Zoro crosses the distance of the Sunny, stopping next to the object of his desires.

“The sunset is beautiful isn’t it.”

Zoro wants to cut out his tongue. What a lame comment. Sanji deserved better. Someone who could weave him a beautiful tapestry of words, words which don’t even exist in Zoro. After all he is a man of action and not platitudes.

Sanji hums out in agreement, never moving his eyes from the beauty of the scene in front of them.

They don’t talk much, but there’s an easiness to the quiet between them as they watch the sun inch closer into the horizon. The Sunny lurches at a particularly big wave and Sanji is caught off guard, wobbling a little. He’s steadied by a hand on the small of his back.

“Ah, thanks Marimo.”

“No problem, Sanji.”

His name on the swordsman’s lips gives him pause. Zoro almost never calls him by his name. Then he becomes acutely aware that Zoro hasn’t moved his hand, his palm is large and warm on Sanji’s clothed back. The contact is like lightning in his spine and for reasons unknown his heart stutters. He mildly wonders if he should say something, unsure of what the contact means for the two of them.

Deciding his brain feels too stuffed with cotton, Sanji fishes out his lighter and cigarette from his suit jacket pocket, hoping for some clarity in the nicotine. Stupidly, he holds the pack out for Zoro offering him a cigarette, despite knowing the swordsman doesn’t smoke. Before he can rescind the gesture, Zoro’s free hand takes a cigarette from him. Their eyes meet and he finds Zoro’s are unreadable as always. The other man brings the cigarette closer to his face, rolling it in his fingers as he examines the tobacco stick. A laugh huffs out of Sanji’s mouth as he lights his cigarette. He inhales precious smoke, and in the haze of his exhale, his eyes linger a little too long at the sight of the cigarette loosely held in between Zoro’s chapped lips.

“Here let me light it for you.”

Sanji holds the lit lighter out, only for the wind to snuff it. He tries again, flicking the flint a few more times. Each time the wind picks up, extinguishing the flame. A scowl overcomes Sanji’s face.

“Here, we can just-”

Sanji looks up from the lighter at the sound of Zoro’s voice. The other man pulls his hand from Sanji’s lower back and Sanji becomes conscious of the fact that the action leaves him sad at the loss of contact. That’s when he feels the green haired man’s large palm on the back of his neck, searing into his skin as he steadies him. Zoro leans in closer bringing his cigarette to the tip of Sanji’s.

A cigarette kiss.

Sanji’s brain is a mess. ‘It’s just the damn Marimo’ he tries to reason with himself, but he feels heat lick at the apples of his cheeks.

He’s blushing. At Zoro.

The man’s actions have flustered him to his core, tongue too heavy to form words. His eyes soak in the sight of Zoro slowly sucking in – ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, what the fuck?!’ his mind screams at him.

The man offers Sanji no reprieve, continuing his hold on Sanji as he made sure the of his cigarette is lit before breaking apart. Sanji’s world is tilted on its axis, heart pounding so furiously he feels it in his fingertips. He half expects it to burst through his sternum.

Zoro gives an experimental breath before hacking out a loud cough, sound reminiscent of a dying walrus. The scene is so jarring, how the man could go from turning Sanji’s brain into mush to coughing out a lung. It makes him laugh so hard he’s clutching his stomach, abs cramping as he tries to greedily swallow in more air.

It was so Zoro.

Through the tears of laughter, Sanji can see pink dusting Zoro’s face, clearly embarrassed by his lack of experience.

“Take slow inhales, mix it in with some fresh air, it gets easier after a while.”

Sanji’s smile is so wide it hurts his cheeks. He watches Zoro attempt again, the man’s body tensing in an effort to not cough out all the smoke.

“This is horrible Sanji. I don’t know how you do this every day.”

All Sanji can offer the man is a chuckle. He takes in the sight of the swordsman, bathed in the dying light of the sunset, shadows accentuating the strong lines of his face. He’s about to respond when he hears Nami’s voice calling for him.

“Sanji, the bathroom is free if you want to shower!”

He turns, giving her his undivided attention.

“Thank you Nami-chwan! You look especially beautiful after your bath!”

When Sanji turns back, Zoro is no longer facing him instead looking out into the ocean where the last glimmers of the sun fade into the horizon.

“Go ahead and take your bath, cook.”

Sanji manages a nod, feeling odd at the sudden change in attitude. Things had felt so great between them, so what happened? His feet feel heavy as he walks towards the bathroom. Halfway, he doesn’t know why but he spins on his heel, wanting to confront the man.

He wishes he didn’t.

He sees you with Zoro, again.

The two of you huddled close, your hand caressing the swordsman’s cheek. The both of you bathed in the beginnings of moonlight. Sanji’s heart clenches painfully.

It was just like before – Vinsmoke Sanji always comes in last.

****

Things progress at a snail’s pace. Both you and Zoro are seemingly thwarted at every turn whether it be Sanji rejecting your advances or being interrupted in the most inopportune times. A silver lining for Zoro comes in the form of you. Despite being his rival in love, you’re there to pick up the pieces of him, little pep talks flowing from your lips. He hopes that he’s done the same for you. The best of his efforts goes into repairing the shaky smiles on your face, splitting bottles of wine with you as the two of you gripe about love. It’s an odd routine, but one that Zoro finds himself not minding. There is comfort and familiarity in your company.

That was until the crew step foot on Sabaody Archipelago. Everything came to a grinding halt at Sabaody. It was an utter disaster. Not even a foot into the New World and the Grand Line had chewed the crew up and spat them back out.

Panic sets Zoro’s bones the minute he wakes up. Thoughts of his nakama rushing through his brain at breakneck speed. Were you all safe? Did you guys make it off Sabaody? Zoro keenly feels the loss of his crew, guilt seeping into every crack in his heart. If only he had been stronger - strong enough to defeat Bartholomew Kuma on Thriller Bark, strong enough to carry everyone’s dreams on his back.

He spends two days lost in the maze of a castle that weird Ghost Girl brought him to, trying desperately to find his swords. He squashes down the invasive thoughts attempting to claw its way into his mind – were you all even still alive? It doesn’t help that the girl, Perona he finds out is her name, keeps giving him directions that seem to get him lost even further. Frustration bubbles under his skin. He is wholly useless, a feeling that is reaffirmed when he is defeated by the humandrills, his only hope of reaching his friends dashed by his own inadequacy.

When he feels like things couldn’t get worse, he hears about Ace. Zoro wants to scream, to dig his fingers into his chest and rip out his own beating heart. Frustration, fury, despair – it all whirls inside of him for Luffy. How could things have gone so wrong?

Zoro tries hard not to wallow in his sadness. He beats down his pride and grovels to Mihawk, begging the man he wants to defeat one day to teach him, to make him into a man worthy of being called Luffy’s nakama.

Time flows, and slowly but surely, Zoro adapts to his life on the deserted island. Mihawk is a fair teacher and his brutal teaching methods have Zoro progressing faster than even he could admit. Although the lack of alcohol grates on his nerves. Though he would never admit it out loud, Perona isn’t too bad either when she isn’t annoying him.

He spends his days training, eating, and sleeping, a routine that isn’t unfamiliar to him, but his mind remains plagued by the brewing thoughts of you and Sanji.

His mind goes in cycles, starting with hopes that you two are alright. Surely you’re safe, Zoro’s mind doesn’t want to can’t think of the alternative. He wonders if Sanji has found himself on an island with enough food, cold fear nestled in his heart at the idea of the cook going without. He hopes you have extra blankets at night, his mind supplying him images of your shivering body on Drum Island, lips tinged blue.

The months gruel onward and late at night, when the world is silent and his body aches from the brutal beatings from Mihawk, Zoro imagines your soft touches, a comforting hand on his shoulder when things went wrong. He dreams of the bottle of sake he desperately wants to split between you two, talking about any and everything. He wants to see your smile.

On days where the sun blisters in the sky and Mihawk forces him to help with the farming, Zoro wonders if Sanji would be impressed. Would he give Zoro that smug grin of his, telling him to till the farm with appreciation for the food it grew? Would he be brave enough to commandeer Mihawk’s kitchen, lecturing to Zoro the entire time he cooks about how he needs to eat the right macronutrients to gain muscle. Zoro luxuriates in what-if’s and could-be’s, day in and day out.

He spends the hours of sundown to sunrise, staring at the cold grey stone ceiling of the castle pondering in a mire of his own doing. He wanted both of you but was desperate to hold onto what you and him had together, while craving every potential what-if with Sanji.

He stews in his feelings for months, unable to take himself out of his own head.

On a day where Mihawk is away on business, Zoro finds himself in the dining room, sun barely rising into the sky. Perona was nice enough to fix breakfast for the two of them but it only puts Zoro in a worse mood. His body is gripped in nostalgia, heart aching to wake up to the sound of Luffy and Chopper’s chatter in the morning, to pass by a sleep drunk Usopp and Franky grumbling out good mornings, and to make his way to the kitchen and have a plate be handed to him by the star of half his dreams. Increasingly lost in his own thoughts, he’s oblivious to Perona’s pouting.

“Ugh! You’re such a jerk!”

Perona waits a few seconds, giving the mosshead time to come to his senses and apologize but minutes tick by and she finds herself empty handed. In childish anger, her hands slam on the table.

“What the hell? Aren’t you going to thank me for breakfast??”

She is only given a wave, the gesture vaguely dismissal.

“Okay you idiot, what is it? What could possibly be so important that you forget to thank the person who saved your life?”

The question gives Zoro pause. He deliberates in his head a bit, uneasiness mashing in the pit of his stomach. To let someone know about his problems felt too vulnerable, but against his will the words of his dilemma spill out of him like an ugly fountain with fat babies on it, like the ones he saw plastered all over Water 7.

Perona regards him for a few minutes before rolling her eyes.

“You’re not very smart, are you?”

“The fuck?”

“You’re a pirate idiot. Being a pirate means you take what you want, you don’t need to share. So have both, duh. Who says you can’t have a boyfriend and a girlfriend?”

Whiplash. His brain rattles in his skull at Perona’s words. How ridiculous. This is what he gets for telling her his problems. He opens his mouth to tell her off but then the words sink into him.

Both? He could have both?

They were both strong enough to protect themselves, their bounties reflecting their skill, determined enough to pursue their own goals. They, more than anyone on the ship, knew the stakes of his dreams, not once had they ever discouraged him. Plus, the thought of the two of them tangled in a mess of naked limbs beckoning Zoro to join was a particularly tasty thought.

Perona shoots him a smug smile.

“You’re welcome~”

****

Nerves rattle through your body as you disembark from the small sailboat, steered by the kind martial arts master that found you two years ago. The elderly woman pats your hand in reassurance.

“Don’t worry dearie, I’m sure your boys are waiting for you. Now you make sure you stay safe and don’t forget to always pack a scarf.”

You give her a bright smile.

“Thank you so much, for everything. I’ve learned so much! Please make sure you tell everyone I got here alright.”

The woman matches your smile before waving you off. Excited feet don’t hesitate to quickly wander down Sabaody, taking you down semi familiar paths. You count the grove numbers in your head, excitement gripping your stomach as you finally arrive.

Grove 13.

The sight of the wooden sign of Shakky’s Rip-Off Bar shoots fresh nerves into your veins, anticipation ripe in your head. You take a deep breath, steeling your nerves before you push open the door to the bar.

Your eyes skim over the empty chairs and booths, finally settling on a green clad figure at the bar. Time slows and your heart threatens to burst out of your sternum, you can feel your pulse in your ear, not even hearing his name tumble out of your lips. The sight of him makes tears sting the corners of your eyes.

Zoro.

His signature three swords are still affixed to his side, hilts glinting in the low light of the establishment. A head turn makes the three golden strands of his earrings collide into each other. He stands tall and proud, two years of effort reflected in his new silhouette. You run to him, finding half of everything you had missed in the last two years in his hug. Tears run down your cheeks, absorbed by the green of his outfit, staining the fabric dark. You can’t bring yourself to care.

He still smells like steel and sea salt.

He presses a kiss to your hair, his large hands rubbing circles on your back as he pulls you closer to his chest. After seconds that feel too short, you part from him. You soak in the sight of his familiar features. Your eyes trace over the new scar over his eye, the strong line of his jaw, the slight bump in his nose. Hands wander up his biceps and you can’t help but ghost your fingertips over the newly acquired scars present on exposed skin. Fingers smooth over every part of him, his wide chest, his corded arms, all of it – desperate to memorize him after these years apart.

Lost in the moment, you miss the way Rayleigh and Shakky sharing a knowing smile.

Fingers interlaced, you let Zoro lead you to his room at a small bed and breakfast in Grove 17. You aren’t even mad when he gets lost twice, taking you down a winding path to Grove 7 instead. You missed this, the idiosyncrasies that come with living with someone, spending every waking hour together.

Once in the room you let your small bucket bag tumble to the floor. You wait patiently until Zoro has a chance to take off his katanas before you throw yourself into his arms again, the two of you tumbling into the small bed. His entire presence offers you a familiar comfort. He felt like home. You can tell he feels the same, the way he holds you tightly, as if you would disappear from his arms at any moment. He buries his nose into your hair and his chest moves from under you as he inhales. The two of you stay like that for several minutes, the silence finally being broken by Zoro.

“Y/n, I don’t want to be without you.”

Shivers shoot down your spine.

“What about Sanji?”

“Him too. We’re pirates y/n, we take what we want.”

You bury your face deeper into his muscular chest, heart fluttering in your own chest.

“Good, I don’t know what I’d do without my two boy toys.”, your words come out muffled and you can feel the vibrations as Zoro chuckles.

Lifting your head, you give him a lascivious grin. His eyes are as intense as ever, but you find that this time around you can pin down the emotions within because they’re the same as yours.

Your lips meet his in a kiss that he doesn’t hesitate to accept. His lips are warm and chapped, a combination you quickly find yourself addicted to. Your arms move on their own, snaking around his neck as his wrap around your waist, bringing you in closer to him. The both of you move feverishly, desperate to make sure this moment didn’t evaporate into the ether. His kiss is hungry, ferocity over taking you before he seems to rein it back in. He coaxes out a whimper from you as his hands wander to your bottom before pulling your hips in close to his, letting you straddle his waist. You let out a gasp as you feel his hardness grinding on the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh. Utilizing the last braincell that isn’t drenched in hormones, you place a placating hand on his chest.

“Patience. Not without Sanji.”

To your surprise he is in agreeance with you, but he gives you a devilish grin all the same.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t get to kiss what’s mine.”

Laughter peels out of you, as Zoro smashes his lips into the crook of your neck, biting and sucking the sensitive flesh in a manner that was both ticklish and sensual.

“You’re right, it doesn’t.”

****

Sanji doesn’t know what to think. Reality was, he saw this was coming, the signs glaring at him two years ago.

You and Zoro were together.

The whole crew seemed to know it too.

“Yohohoho! They’re quite a handsome couple, don’t you agree Miss. Robin?”

“They do complement each other quite well.”

Everyone has seen the two of you look at each other, shooting puppy eyes at the dinner table, and of course Sanji is distinctly aware of the way Zoro takes your small hands into his, a rogue thumb tracing idle circles into your smooth skin. It’s all too intimate for two people who are “just crewmates”.

Sanji’s heart is broken, shattered into a million tiny pieces and he doesn’t know where to begin to put it all back together. He was an utter fool for having clung onto hope for two years, spending his days daydreaming about how the pieces would all fall into place, the two of you accepting his confessions of undying love.

Stupid, stupid Sanji.

The voices of his past mock him. How could anyone love stupid Sanji. How silly of you to even dream. Nestled in the sicker part of his brain, he wonders who he’s more jealous of – you or Zoro.

It should be him, his jealousy addled self whispers to him in the dead of night but Sanji knows it’s his fault for even daring to dream. The two of you were better off together. So, every day, he wakes up, chokes down the feelings that threaten to well up inside of him, and continue as if nothing was wrong.

He had been doing it well enough for the last twenty odd years, what’s the harm in a few more?

****

It doesn’t take long for an opportunity to present itself to you and Zoro.

The Sunny docks on a small island to restock on basic supplies and through divine intervention the stars align. Zoro catches the last vestiges of Sanji’s conversation with Nami, picking up the tidbit that he would come back to the ship immediately after he procured fresh meat and produce. Taking his chance, he offers himself and you up for guard duty, a move that garners no protest or suspicion.

After the crew clears out, the anxiety builds in your chest, your head spins and your palms feel clammy as the minutes pass by. Zoro doesn’t say it, but you could tell he felt the same, his rough fingers constantly flitting over the hilt of his katanas. You and Zoro split a bottle of sake for liquid courage, downing it like teenagers instead of passing it along at your usual leisurely pace. The sake helps a bit, dulling down the feelings.

The two of you are on the upper deck when you hear the click of expensive dress shoes on wood. Peeking, you spy Sanji’s golden hair as he reboards the ship. You signal Zoro with a nod of your head. The two of you break, Zoro to the kitchen to fetch Sanji and you to the women’s dormitory. Long strides quickly lead you to where you need to be, settling down on the blue comforter of your bed.  

In the midst of fiddling with a loose thread on one of your sheets, you hear the door open. Nerves tingle through your body as you see Sanji’s figure enter.

“A-ah y/n-swan! Marimo said you needed help with something?”

He takes a few strides, standing at the foot of the bed you were sitting on. The door clicks as Zoro shuts it behind him. Sanji sucks in a breath, suddenly feeling trapped in this confined space, anxiety pooling in his stomach.

“O-oh! Well Sanji you see… Um, w-well we..”

You bite your lips, fingers picking at the skin near your nails, something Sanji picks up on. He can’t help the prickling of curiosity in the back of his brain. What got you, the very definition of calm and collected, so nervous?

“We want you, Sanji.”

It’s Zoro this time, the timber of his voice nearly reverberating in his bones as he becomes aware of how close the man stands behind him. You nod in agreeance.

Sanji’s brain short-circuits.

What?

Did he hear that right? You both wanted him?

Sanji searches your face for any inkling of deception but your cheeks are flush and you avoid his eyes out of nervousness.

“Don’t over think this.” Zoro murmurs into his ear, hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin. The other man’s large hands come from behind him and roam on his chest, going over the silky fabric of his suit. The action pulls him in closer to Zoro, sending shivers up his spine. It doesn’t take long for Sanji to make up his mind.

So be it.

He’ll take whatever scraps you have to offer him. Maybe if he gets a taste, it’ll be out of his system, and he’ll be free to pursue all the beautiful men and women he encounters in his travels. Maybe if he closes his eyes, he can imagine that this is something more than just sex.

He continues to feed himself the shallow lies.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

At his affirmation, Sanji feels hand on his head, turning him into a hungry kiss. Chapped lips meet his and Sanji can faintly taste the sweetness of sake on Zoro’s breath. It’s everything Sanji has dreamed of. In the midst of their kiss, Sanji feels your hands undoing his tie, and unbuttoning his jacket and dress shirt. An impatient tongue spears into his mouth, coaxing his own tongue into a dance, drawing a moan from the blond man. A hot tongue presses into his neck and he can’t help the gasp that rises to his lips. In contrast to Zoro, your lips are soft and silky. You stamp fire into his skin with every kiss, setting his body into flames.

Breathless, he breaks the kiss with Zoro only to have you pull him into another one, gentler but no less voracious.

He’s aware of Zoro helping him shed his shirt and jacket, but his head feels stuffed with cotton, not quite to registering any of it. A soft tongue mingles with Sanji’s and delicate hands caress the bare skin of his chest, each movement leaving gooseflesh in its wake. The light flicks to his nipples have him groaning into your mouth. The kiss breaks with a soft sigh from you, and Zoro surges forward to capture you a playful kiss, sandwiching Sanji between the two of you. The friction of the two bodies, one soft and one sturdy, melts his mind, his pants feeling tighter by the moment.

A larger rougher set of hands replace the soft ones on his chest as you kneel in front of Sanji, making quick work of his belt. You lavish his abs with floaty kisses and occasional playful nibbles, following down the trail of soft downy hair until you reach his boxers. You make quick work of that too, freeing his erection.

You nearly drool of the sight Sanji’s cock slapping against his belly, marking a spot on his belly with shiny precum. His cock is picturesque, like the men of the dirty magazines you used to buy as a teenager, a few shades darker than his porcelain skin leading into a dusky pink tip oozing slick. You give an experimental lick up the shaft before engulfing the tip in your mouth, making circles over it with your tongue. Sanji throws his head back, gracing you with a breathy pretty groan.

The salty taste of his precum ignites a fire deep in you, a need to taste more overcomes every sense. Driven by your baser instincts, you press down further, taking as much as you could until you feel him hit the back of your throat, eyes welling with tears as you try to stave off your gag reflex. His delicate fingers tangle into your hair, hands resting on your head. Pressed so close to Sanji his pubic hair tickles your lips and you can smell the clean rich sandalwood of his soap. You set a slow pace, looking up through dark lashes to observe Sanji’s expressions as he loses himself in the feeling of your mouth. Each circle of your tongue over the tip has him whimpering, his cheeks and chest flushed pink.

Not to be left out, Zoro joins you, kneeling in front of the blond man. You release his cock with a pop and stroke it lightly.

“Want a taste?”

Zoro gives a devilish smirk, coming in closer. He gives the tip kitten licks before slowly taking more of the length in his mouth.

“Tastes good doesn’t it?”

A muffled response has you grinning. You take a few moments take your own clothes off, only stopping to appreciate the sight of Zoro pouring his attention to Sanji’s cock. The contrast of the two men bubbles excitement in you, a longing finally quenched. Zoro is all muscle, posture and stance reflecting power and brutality, but Sanji’s is refined elegance, fluid even while motionless, muscles seemingly sculpted by a maestro.

Kneeling back down, you throw yourself into the fray of saliva and skin, taking one of Sanji’s balls into your mouth, earning a loud groan from the man. The two males’ intermingling musk cloying in your head, fogging up any thought you could muster. Sanji’s hips buck and Zoro gags, pulling another moan from the blond. You slowly suckle, running circles on the surface of his ball sack with your tongue before releasing it to lick up the shaft. Zoro meets you in a messy kiss with Sanji’s cock in the middle of two pairs of lips. Your tongues dance over the veiny surface of Sanji’s dick, occasionally skimming each other.

Sanji wants to throw his head back, to lose himself in the sensation of two mouths lavishing him with attention but he’s caught up in the sight of you and Zoro, your tongues fighting on his cock, hoping to find more skin to lick and suck at. The two of you work in synch, soon moving upward to suckle at the reddened tip of his cock.

“S-stop or I’ll cum” Sanji whines out, making you and Zoro share a laugh, shifting away from his sensitive cock to find each other in a kiss.

Feeling emboldened by the sexually charged energy, you saunter over to the bed, sitting and spreading your legs wide open. Sanji practically drools at the sight, stumbling over the clothes on the floor to get in closer.

Sanji slots himself between your legs, moving closer to kiss you. His lips are soft, and the hints of lingering tobacco pull you in for more. Sanji’s tender affection is a deluge you drown in, heart full you reciprocate keenly. He peppers kisses down your jawline before interspersing tender open mouth kisses on your neck. A hot tongue trails down further before capturing a nipple between his teeth. His actions are delicate, but they draw whimpers out of you, heat pooling between your thighs at the teasing. Sanji’s strong hands cup your breasts, massaging softly as his tongue runs circles around your hard nipples, dousing them in messy suckles.

He offers the same treatment to your other breast before trailing more kisses down until his head is settled between your thighs. You can feel his hot breath, a gossamer on your sensitive skin. The flat of his tongue licks a stripe through your folds and your back arches at the contact.

“Fuck angel, you’re so wet” he murmurs before diving back in, tongue working through your folds before encircling your clit.

“Mm fuck Sanji”, moans pour out of you endlessly, your hands tangling themselves in the golden silk of his hair.

His strong hands hold your hips steady as he begins to suckle at your clit, giving occasional kitten licks, as anticipated, the action has you bucking your hips, thighs tightening around his head as he tightens the coil in your loins, nerves dancing on fire.

Zoro’s calloused hands run over Sanji’s torso, earning a shiver from the man. His fingertips take time to appreciate the valley of muscles before moving to his hips, propping them up into position. Sanji is a mess of gooseflesh as rough fingers part his cheeks, exposing him to the other man. A hot tongue presses on his hole and Sanji lets out a gasp that’s muffled in your skin. The sensation is foreign as the tongue wriggles against his tight hole, but pleasure quickly finds him. Zoro’s tongue circles around his puckered hole, massaging and working the muscle, each move deliberate in driving Sanji further into a chasm of pleasure until he’s relaxed. Zoro intersperses it with licks from the flat of his tongue, the contrast drawing out whimpering moans from the blond. When he pulls away, Sanji whines.

“Get these wet for me.”

Sanji complies, taking his head out from your cunt to take Zoro’s digits in his mouth, tongue running over each individual one. Zoro grins at the sight of Sanji desperately sucking on his fingers while his goatee shines with your slick.

A whine from you has Zoro withdrawing his fingers from the other man’s hot mouth, allowing him to return to your needy hole.

Sanji returns to lavishing your clit with licks, before plunging a tongue deep in you hoping to taste more of your essence. Pressure against his puckered hole pauses him in the middle of his pussy eating. Your thighs tighten around him as you buck desperately against his mouth, hoping to find more friction despite his lack of action.

The breech of a large finger pulls a sound out of him, a mixture of a moan and a scream. You offer your own moan at the vibrations of Sanji’s on your clit.

Zoro presses kisses onto the skin of his buttocks, rubbing soothing circles on his skin as Sanji adjusts to the foreign intrusion. Slowly, he begins to rock his finger back and forth, occasionally stopping to spit on Sanji’s hole, an action that has the man’s dick twitching.

“Don’t worry Sanji he’ll be gentle. Won’t you marimo?” you tease, tone breathy from your own arousal at seeing Zoro knuckle deep in Sanji.

“We’ll see about that.”

Sanji turns to tell Zoro off, but the aforementioned man’s free hand grabs his head, shoving him back into your cunt, earning a squeal from you.

“Focus Sanji” Zoro gravels out, voice thick with lust. You snake your legs around Sanji’s head, heels resting on his mid back.

“He’s right Sanji, wanna cum so bad”

As if to demonstrate your need, your hips buck into his open mouth, hoping to find a tongue to grind into. Ever the gentleman, Sanji grants your request, eating you out with renewed vigor.

Zoro continues to work his fingers into him, one finger becomes two, pumping becomes scissoring, and soon Sanji feels more stretched out than possible. Sanji lets out loud moan after moan into your clit when he feels the man continuously brush his prostate. His mouth is messy with saliva and your slick, jaw aching as he continues to devour you. You reward him with looks from dark lashes glimmering with tears, your soft skin flushed by his ministrations. Pretty whines of his name spill out from your lips, urging him on as you chase your high. Your fingers clench onto his hair, the pain from the pulling mixing with the shockwaves that Zoro’s fingers provide him.

“A-ah right there S-sanji!”

Your tighten your legs around Sanji, a loud wail escaping you, hands fisting the blankets underneath as the coil in your belly snaps. Your orgasm wracks your body, vision going dark and heartbeat in your ear. Sanji’s tongue doesn’t stop, sending pins and needles through your nerves. Tears dot the corners of your eyes as he eats your overstimulated pussy out until you’re crying his name, begging him to stop. When he relents, you pull him into a kiss, tasting your own salty juices on his lips. You swipe your fingers over his messy slick shined lips and chin, offering them to Zoro who sucks on them with enthusiasm before letting go with a pop of his mouth.

You shimmy out from under Sanji, the blond pushing himself to all fours to offer you more space. Moving off to the side, you take in the sight of Zoro greedily pumping three fingers into Sanji who’s offering himself up like a dog in heat, whimpers pouring out of his mouth. Sanji’s dick is standing tall, precum dribbling out from the tip and onto the bedsheets where you can already spy a dark wet stain forming. You wrap a hand around his cock, thumb smearing the precum as you begin to pump up and down at a torturous pace. Sanji’s head buries into the bed as he lets out a string of expletives. You and Zoro share a naughty grin.

It doesn’t take long for Sanji to start moving his hips, desperately fucking himself into Zoro’s fingers trying to plunge deeper.

Zoro pulls out of him, and you take your hand off of his cock, Sanji is left whining at the loss of contact.

He isn’t left alone for long as Zoro pushes him into the bed before flipping him around so he’s on his back. Zoro devours the sight of Sanji’s hair pooling around him in a radiant halo, his cheeks flushed pink and dick twitching for attention. You come back and pass Zoro a bottle, lowering yourself to take the man’s dick in your mouth. Sanji’s eyes are glued to the sight of you bobbing your head along the impressive length of the swordsman. He watches as Zoro’s eye closes, clearly enjoying the way you’re taking all of him in. It isn’t long before the swordsman pulls you up and into a kiss.

Jealousy grips Sanji’s heart. Brook was right, the two of you were a beautiful couple.

You take the bottle from Zoro and pour out a viscous liquid onto your fingers, soaking them in it before wrapping it around Zoro’s cock, wetting him with long strokes.

“Fuc-k babe that feels good”

You offer Zoro one final kiss, a mischievous hand coming to smack the swordsman’s bottom sending him on his way to Sanji.

Zoro slots himself between Sanji’s legs, wrapping his hands around his ankles before yanking him, moving him closer to the edge of the bed. For the first time Sanji’s cock presses into Zoro’s and it twitches in excitement, the blond shudders at the contact. Zoro captures his lips into a kiss and Sanji loses himself in it. Sea salt and steel invade his senses, wiping his mind blank of every thought. Rough hands find their way to his slender hips, rubbing circles along the bone. Slim smaller fingers press against his hole, taking time to slather him in the same viscous liquid.

When Zoro breaks the kiss, Sanji opens his eyes, taking in the sight of the swordsman on top of him.

“You ready?”

He isn’t, but Sanji nods.

The blunt tip of Zoro’s cock on his hole startles him, and for the first time he begins to wonder how in the fuck he’s supposed to take all of it inside of him.

Then the push comes, a groan is ripped from his chest as Zoro breaches his tight hole for the first time. Sanji feels panic well inside of him. He’s going to be torn in two, there’s no doubt about it. The blond squirms in discomfort, and you’re quick to notice, kissing his tears away, interlacing your fingers with his.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby. You’re doing so good, such a good boy for us”

Zoro takes it at Sanji’s pace, allowing the blond to adjust to the stretch. One hand steadies his hip and the other strokes his calf, bringing it closer so the green haired man can press kisses into the pale skin.

Through the pain and panic, Sanji finds himself delusional. With his eyes closed and brain shut off, he imagines this is what it would be like to be loved by the both of you, drowning him in sweet nothings, soft kisses, and praises of what a good boy he is.

It takes a deliberate amount of self-control for Zoro to inch in slowly, the sight of Sanji’s greedy hole swallowing his shaft has anticipation pumping through his veins. He finds himself resisting the urge to pin the blond down and ravage him right there, to stretch his hole out so fully that it molds itself to the shape of Zoro’s cock and his alone. It isn’t long before he finds himself full sheathed, Sanji clenching around his dick, sending mind numbing pleasure into Zoro.  

He holds him there, offering more time to adjust as he holds the blond’s hips steady. Letting go of Sanji’s hand, you happily move into the mix of bodies, sitting on top of Sanji, a hand guiding his length into you. As the tip of his dick enters you, Sanji throws his head back, wailing into his fist as he tries to quiet himself. Slowly, you sink into his length, engulfing him with tight searing heat. You’re tighter than he expected. You lean back, pressing your back into Zoro’s muscle bound chest as you turn to give him a kiss. He moans into your mouth as your tongues meld into each other.

In need of friction, you start a slow pace, moving up and down on Sanji’s length.

“F-fuck, oh my fucking g-god, feels ‘sgood” Sanji slurs out, tongue lolling and mind blank.

Zoro pulls from your kiss to start pumping into Sanji, ever impatient he fucks the blond with aggression. Unabashedly, the swordsman lets out a groan at the feeling, Sanji gripping his cock like a vise.

“Yer so fucking tight for me babe”

The blond isn’t shy about making noises, screams and moans mixing together as they leave his mouth. Zoro’s finger’s dig into the man’s hips to gain more purchase as he thrusts particularly deep, punching the air out of Sanji’s lungs, his legs spasming as Zoro jabs into his prostate. His body seizes, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he babbles out nonsense.

Sanji can’t think, he can barely breath with Zoro’s cock bullying him out of air only for your tight pussy to greedily clench, only allowing him short gasps of breath. He loses himself entirely in the feeling of being thoroughly used by the two of you, drool leaking out of the side of his mouth as eyes stare unfocused.

Sanji’s dick curves and hits the most sensitive parts of you, brushing along your g-spot as you bounce up and down on him, desperately chasing your own high.

“S-sanji, your cock f-feels so good baby”

Your words begin to slur as you feel the beginnings of an orgasm gather in your loins.

Sanji is the first to cum, letting out a loud wail as he bucks his hips upward, shooting his cum deep inside of you. The feeling of his warm cum flooding you makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, you keep riding him through his orgasm, oversensitive cock still hard as you grind down on it, losing yourself in the pleasure of his spongy dick tip grinding into your cervix. Zoro’s hand snakes around your hips, fingers pinching and rolling your clit, sending fireworks of pleasure into your spine, you hold onto Sanji, nails digging deep. Zoro’s thrusts get deeper, rocking you and Sanji. His breathing is choppy, moans spilling out of his lips as Zoro chases his own high.

Fireworks burst behind your eyelids as you feel the orgasm wrack your body, tears gathering in your eyes as your moan stutters in your throat. Sanji whimpers as your pussy milks his oversensitive cock for more cum. Zoro’s arm wraps around your waist and the other on Sanji’s thigh as he pulls both of you closer, the coil buried deep in his belly threatening to snap. He picks up the pace, relentlessly hammering inside of Sanji, the movement causing Sanji’s dick to rub the sensitive tissue of your cervix, gushing out the cum deep inside of you. The tight friction of Sanji’s hole is delicious as Zoro gives the last few pumps before burying himself as deep as possible in the blond, head resting on the crook of your neck as he came. His loud groan is muffled in your skin, stars shoot across his vision as he paints Sanji’s walls white, belly clenching as he slowly rocks the last vestiges of his orgasm out.

The three of you fall on the bed in a mess of limbs, sweat, and body fluids. You’re out of it until you feel an arm wrapping around you, hazily recognizing it as Zoro’s, bringing you and Sanji closer to him. You press yourself into his side, craving the comfort of his embrace. Your head rests on his wide chest listening to the pounding heartbeat as he presses a kiss into your sweaty hairline.

Zoro’s heart feels full as he watches his two lovers, fully sated and thoroughly fucked, resting in his arms, the trust they put in him is implicit.

The peace is broken when Sanji breaks out of the embrace, getting out of the bed picking up pieces of various strewn about clothing. The action startles you and Zoro out of your post orgasm glow, the two of you sharing a confused look.

“Where the fuck are you going?”

Zoro’s voice cuts through Sanji’s soul. Steeling himself, he looks up at the two of you, still wrapped around each other, clearly comfortable - a comfort Sanji can’t indulge in lest he lose more of his heart.

“Ah. Well, I figured you guys had your fun, right?” he weakly chuckles.

The silence is deafening.

“No need for me to linger while you tw-“

“Sanji when we said we wanted you we meant all of you. You mean more to us than just sex, we adore you.”

His body tenses in surprise, the shock written all over his face.

Zoro leans forward, grabbing Sanji’s hand to pull him back into the mess of limbs.

“C’mere and cuddle us Sanji.”

Sanji sinks into the cuddle, hungry heart full for the first time in a long time.

©2023 lyriumcoloredskies do not repost, copy, translate, modify

#fanfic #one piece #vinsmoke sanji #one piece sanji #sanji x reader #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro #one piece zoro #zoro x reader x sanji

[yangcherie]

i am obsessed with your writing. really. i would love to read your view on a shadowheart trying to win your heart when she realizes that the other companions also want you. be as fluff or smut as you want! (and of course you don't need to write anything you don't want, really, no pressure) 💕🩷

one step ahead

pairing: shadowheart, background cast x gender-neutral!tav (reader.)

content warnings: alcoholic consumption, lightest bit of suggestive. reverse comfort. religious trauma (shar.), pre-selune shart.

author’s note: i don’t quite know. this is the first time i wrote wothout being high so ahm. this might suck. Uh. so sorry, dear... begging the nines for this to flop. praying hands emoji.

Before discovering:

You’re a darling thing – considerate, easy to like.

Shadowheart vies for your heart, confident she’s the only one. The party is big and Farûn even bigger, surely, they will not take this one thing away from her? She doesn’t take it seriously at first, the way they touch you, look at you, speak of you. No, she ignores it, continues to court you with soft flowers and fold and prayers of blessings upon you. You’re a priority to her, first and foremost. The only thing she has besides Shar’s teachings.

You like her. The way she feels about you is nothing if not refreshing, rid of lust. So you laugh with her, thank her so prettily for her gifts. She’s confident.

After discovering:

It comes to her late at night. She is not the only one who gives you flowers and gold and prayers, it seems. What meager she has to offer the others are extravagant with. She begrudgingly stumbles upon the possibility that you might’ve served more as a distraction than a lover, you’ve been challenging her faith and focus.

Have you swayed her? The same way you have seemingly swayed the other ones in the party?

If there’s one thing Shadowheart has discovered about herself, it’s that she does not like to share. But you are not hers. And is then she begins to descend into thoughts she does not like, about how it would feel to stake a claim over you.

You become more of a trial to overcome, something to have a crisis over.

Shadowheart purses her lips, sulking by the fire. She’s alone, thankfully – but the night is not peaceful for her, as it may be for the others slumbering around. The wind bites at her legs and something akin to heartbreak and envy chews at her heart as she stares at your tent. An abandoned, emptied bottle of putrid wine lay on its side near her.

It should be alarming, how quickly she’s taken to a different sort of nightly activity; chasing away her thoughts of you with wine and whisky instead of praying. She’s half-convinced you’re a hidden disciple of Lady Shar, with the way you invoke loss so easily in her. You must be a test of faith – one she is losing.

If she is bound to lose, she will not go down without tooth and nail. She’s opted for trying to sweep you off your feet, bouquets of orchids, opening her heart to you. Unfortunately, for every endeavor, you’ve tugged an endearing smile at. You’ve sung her praises on how darling of a friend she was – and she had been laughed at, patted on the back with sympathy by those in the party.

She wonders if you’ve even paid mind to how her advances have faltered. How she had herself distanced from you.

Shadowheart huffs, petty. Your heart has been something hotly-contested amongst the camp – for fuck’s sake, amongst everyone you cross, from drows and tieflings to cambions and lords alike. She knows it, she sees how those in the party - especially that damned vampire, drink in your bodice. The lilted curve of your smile. The bob of your throat. She sees how they could just maim one another for a chance at you, and she cannot blame them for their hunger – but it does not soothe her misery.

The idiots make it a competition of sorts; how far they could skirt around their affections without being caught — but Astarion seems to be winning. It is no secret to everyone, of the trysts you share with the vampire. It haunts her; how in the absence of light, he leans over you, pins you to the ground and sinks his teeth into the soft, welcoming flesh of your florid neck. He licks and savors the sanguine off of your skin whilst you whimper in pain beneath him.

During those nights, she cannot help but stay up, even long after the vampire has sauntered off, leaving you bloodless, limping. She strains her ears to listen to you breathe stiltedly. What she wouldn’t give for the chance to eat you up, whisper pretty things to you even as you push against her and whimper.

(During those nights, it is where she cannot help but truly resonate with Lady Shar’s teachings. Embittered, speared with loss with the fact you have plenty of beds to warm, hearts to hold – but none are hers.)

In the morning, she alone fusses and casts a light heal over you, brushing over your wounded neck, ignoring how Astarion will make an innuedo of your taste to irritate his fellow, seething companions. She will ignore how you flush.

Shadowheart is not blind – even the most foolish of fools could see she is not the only one to vie for your heart. She kicks around in the dirt, disgruntled, raking a hand through her otherwise pristine hair. You are a ridiculous conundrum, an enigma that puts her faith, her control at a losing trial — a groan is forced out of her. She would kill to have anything else on her mind but you, you, you, you, who has swarmed and consumed much of her waking thoughts.

Damn you. Damn you for all you are. You must be a cambion amongst the likes of Haarlep with the way you’ve ensnared her.

Before the cleric can run off with gritted teeth, however, a weight is settled on her shoulder from behind. Mortification is quick to take over her, a chill like winter in Icewind Dale, or worse, High Ice, crawling on her spine.

“Hey, you.” Your voice softly greets her. You do not wait for her answer, she figures when you decide to sit down on the log and huddle up to her as a comforting anchor, unaware to the flushed grimace on her face.

It is a brief thought that passes; what if the Nightsong Lady was watching her right at this moment? How will she ever explain this in her prayers? Should she beg that the Lady spare you? She gapes like a dehydrated fish on land when you burrow yourself further to her side and meet eyes with her.

You do not know you look how ambrosian you are at this moment. You are warm. You are soft and you are alone. Right in front of her, nestling into her, even – unknowing that she is on the prepice of some circle of hell, one riddled with indecision. Should she swoop you off your feet, profess her affections to you and press her mouth to yours until you’re stupid enough to let her bed you for the night?

Or should she gather you in her jaws and bite voraciously hard enough that you will turn limp? Spare you from what is her maw? The pit of her want she could condemn you to?

(But hers must be more merciful than the rest’s, surely? Would you prefer it to be her that destroys you?)

She is now convinced, you are the greatest trial of forbearance and endurance Shar has thrown her way.

“Shadowheart?” You murmur worriedly, a few seconds later to her silence, the fire casting a sultry, welcoming flush over you. She watches as you reach a hand up to your own face; undoubtedly thinking, why is she staring at you like you’ve burnt down the entirety of Faerûn? Shadowheart swallows, jittery; she cannot bear to tear herself away from your embrace.

“Why... why have you come here? To me?” It is all she manages to wrench out of her dry throat. Her waist trembles when you wrap an arm around it. She wishes to ask more; what are we? What am i to you? What do you want from me? Why are you doing this to me—?

“You looked lonely, was all.” You yawned, something ladened with slumber. She could not fathom the thought that this, whatever you were doing, could be casual to you. Was it an everyday occurence for you to ensconcing with whoever you deemed warm enough? “You could do with some company.”

Company? Does she deserve it? You could be with Karlach or Halsin, right now. Their arms were built to sweep you right off your feet. Or Astarion, surely? Was her company so special to you, you had refused your nightly tryst with him?

No, the rational part of her hisses. You’re thinking too highly of yourself; and what it says is true. She’s nothing more than some elf, one who cannot even string herself together.

It’s an uncomfortable silence – though it seems onesided, with how you flutter and cosy up to her despite how stiff she is. Somewhere in between, she feels a frown on your face pressed to her shoulder. She swallows, a prayer of repentance and a lash against her back is what she deserves. She’s a fool. There is no other but herself to fault if she was to fail the trial you pose.

“Shadowheart,” you mutter, more fiercely, another question on your mouth. She reveres the image of you, with your brows are wrinkled with worry for her. “Are you okay?”

But if the punishment is inevitable, she might as well just enjoy the buildup, right?

The cleric shakes her head, the witty response she has wilting when the instantaneous tightening of your arms around her fills her with the most innocent surge of need she’s ever felt – and her body wraps its arms around you before her mind has a say on it.

“Y-You torment me, you know?” She says, breathy, unnerved. The way you look at her and search her eyes for anything that could give her away has her breathless, and she can’t quit decide if that’s a good thing. It feels dirty, almost as if you’re looking for sin in her. She has plenty to go around.

“Why?” You ask, pushing on.

“You confuse me.” Shadowheart shakes her head, allowing the warmth of your palm to slide on her face. She graces it with her own. Shar cannot be watching, damn her. “So much.”

She continues, clutching onto your fingers, “I cannot be with you, I cannot – but gods,” she chokes, lips quivering once. “you make it so hard to stay away.”

You flush at it, what she means. Shadowheart follows. She wonders if you can hear it, the thrum of her heart, a testament of her sin, her unforgivable wrongdoings. She wonders if you know she’s starting to look at you as more of a salvation then a trial. You feel like it.

“Where is this coming from?” You ask, so gently, so reassured. You even tuck her hair behind her ears and it makes her flush with delight. “What makes you so sure you cannot be with me, hm?”

“Why me?” It clicks to you why she had asked that earlier. You frown, smoothing your thumb over the apple of her supple cheek. Her voice trembles. “You could have anyone you wanted, you know. Soldiers, or dukes. But you, you act like this towards me; and I’m just me.”

She does not say how afraid she feels that she could taint you with sin.

“And I like you for you.” You interject; and the butterflies in her stomach seem to triple, despite her eyes burning with exhaustion. “You are more than enough for me. You are wonderful to me.”

“You’re fine, we’re fine. I want to be with you.”

(She wonders if you mean for the rest of your life or this night only.)

Your words ring in her mind. She wonders if you want her to the same extent she does with you. But whatever — she’ll deal with it in the morning, the talk, the regret, the prayers, her reward and consequences. For now, she will let you soothe down the mess she’s made of her hair and hold her, entangle yourself to her as if to share warmth in place of the dying fire.

She could be enough for you, she could take care to not damage you with what she is. And she’s sure that she deserves this, snugly rocking in your arms, even for a night or two. And maybe you deserve a pretty flower again.

If she cannot have you, she can at the very least make sure you have her.

#shadowheart x reader #bg3 x reader #not my proudest work #i need to hit a smoke to function sad face emoji sigh #hope this flops amen

[seahagart]

Sorry if you already answered this but who is Drifa's goddess?

She worships the goddess of wilderness (nothing canon in game) Basically since she's a paladin and paladin's follow an oath rather than picking a pantheon at the start, i thought it'd be interesting if her oath is to her temple, she was the protector of her temple for the past 15+ years which is dedicated to the Lady of Frost, Goddess of the Wilds, Maiden of Snow. Essentially goddess of the wilderness, snow, and survival.

Huge Drífa lore dump under the cut.

She was left at the temple while all of the other members slowly left, one by one, when their godess called to them to do so. Each one that left has never returned. Eventually the guardian of the temple passed, leaving Drífa to wait her turn and keep the temple until her goddess instructs her otherwise. She has waited for a long time... Eventually she stopped keeping track of how much time passed, and fell into routine.

Drífa appreciates nature, but in a 'respect what could kill you' way. She does not love animals because they're cute and fuzzy, she appreciates them because of their tenacity, and their skills. She worships the circle of life, that the strong live while the weak perish, and it is her duty to protect this. Meaning hunting is normal, but to kill for the sake of killing is deplorable. It is her duty to keep the shrine, make offerings to her goddess, and protect the way of life on the mountain. Hunters who come to collect for their food on the mountain are fine, but outsiders who come into her territory to take more than they give are dealt with.

She is cold, ruthless, territorial, but she is also kind, gentle, giving. Drífa can't help herself sometimes. She takes in a hunter who should be facing the consequences of his grave miscalculation aka he didn't respect the mountain and should freeze or figure a way out... but she gives him shelter. She should just kill the bear that keeps taking the food from her traps, and she curses it plenty, but it was a brutal winter, she sees the bear has cubs, so she lets it take her prize when she shouldn't.

When Drífa has her child, she sees this as a gift from her goddess, her next lesson in survival. Raising young. Drífa softens even more. She would not think about putting something out of its misery, or striking if it meant she will have food... But now she has a boy who loves birds and pleads with her to help it. So she does. Then its the fox still alive in her trap, she has a soft spot for foxes as she likes them for their cleverness, so she nurses it back to health when she knows she shouldnt. She gives more time to her child and neglects the offerings, the shrine, and soon is too focused on playing with her child she doesn't hear the footsteps in the snow. They are attacked, her child is separated from her, and ultimately is never recovered. She spends weeks searching only to find scraps and blood. She returns, heart broken, and brings swift death to those who did this, the warriors that moved into her shrine while she was gone. All of them are put outside as a warning to those that enter her territory. She never sees other people after this. She knows this was a punishment from her goddess, she was losing sight of her duty as the temple keeper, she wasn't respecting her place in the world, and now had to survive the worst: grief. She decided she would overcome this, just like everything else, and would survive because that's what she is meant to do.

She is taken from her mountain by the nautliod, her temple crushed and destroyed. She believes this is the sign from her goddess, forcing her to leave the mountain and pursue her next step. Eventually she is with others for the first time in years, and she sees this as a sign that she is meant to be with them, protect this group, until she can figure out what her goddess is telling her. Drífa slowly gets more socialized, learns more common, talks more, but remains the quiet, stoic presence in the party. She is starting to wonder if her goddess is punishing her because these people have so many problems.... She continues on, helping where she sees fit.

Eventually as part of her quest line, she is reunited with her son who was saved by some 'do gooders' aka saw a battered young boy in the snow and took him, not realizing mama bear was on her way to get him. They took him many villages over so Drífa couldn't track him, and eventually her son gets better, and after a few years begins his own quest to find his way back to the mountain and find his mom to see if she's alive. After much searching, he hears about a big orc in town, and he thinks maybe it could be a lead, so he shows up to demand answers, ready to do whatever it takes, only to have his bow pointed at his mom. It takes them a moment to recognize each other, but obviously after that they have a beautiful reunion. Drífa thanks her goddess, because clearly this was a reward for her well done work, and because she learned her lesson, etc.

Now the party members get to find out that mama bear is actually a mom and has a son and if they romance her, they will be a step-parent... lol

#drífa #bg3 #thank you for the ask btw!!!

[zeynepaura]

𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ 𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒔 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

First off, giving up an old bad habit is difficult, that I know; however, it is not impossible. I've had a lot of difficulties in my life where I repeated the same habit over and over again and I thought for me I would never overcome them. But you know what changed? trying. I tried my best every day and even if I failed, I slowly accepted that I am not perfect and I am only human. That is who we are, and that is why Allah the Almighty is so merciful, because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala himself knows we humans will slip up and fall. But listen, it's not impossible and as annoying as it is, as long as you keep trying, keep having that good intentions of becoming better and to do better; trust me those habits will be history.

Whenever we do something for the sake of our lord, everything works out, everything clicks together. These habits you have won't be vanished for one day of course, or a week, it's a process--a journey that we all need to accept. Think of it as a fitness journey, you won't get fit in one day. These things take time and after feeling so negative about myself I realized as long as you try, asking Allah for help, and doing the most you can--it is possible.

I hope these tips do help you, and everyone is different as everyone has different struggles and bad habits. These will either help you or guide you to overcome those habits in your own way. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for us.

⤑ 𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝑶𝒇 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒛

I have seen a video of someone asking a scholar why do I still commit these bad deeds/habits if I am performing my five daily prayers? and the answer to this was the quality of your namaz. Do you rush into prayer, are you zoning out, are you not on time for namaz, and etc.

There is of course a lot to this but the quality of your namaz and how much time you spend with our lord does affect our hearts.

One of many ways to re-connect with our lord to become better with our daily prayers are:

Performing your prayers on time (I understand how our laziness could get in the way or how we are so into whatever we were doing before and cannot detach ourselves from this but, a quote I read and did help me at times like this was "Put your time and effort to Allah, and Allah will put his time and effort to you too.")

Recite a dua/surah after your namaz (Ayetel kursi, a repentance dua, La ilaha illallah, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul hamdu, yuhyi wa yumitu, wa huwa ala kulli shay'in qadir, and etc.)

Perform your wudhu 15-10 minutes earlier (Let me tell you when I did this it was so effective. When you perform wudhu earlier, you are in a clear-minded state and are purified. Along with you being on time for namaz, this additionally helps you become more focused during namaz)

Perform Dhikr (Subhanallah, Alhamdullilah, Astaghfirullah, La illaha illallah, Allahu Akbar)

Learn the meaning of what you are reciting (When you learn and understand the meaning of the surah/dua's you are reciting, being focused becomes easier and the connection becomes stronger)

⤑ 𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Create distractions for yourself to not commit those deeds/habits!

Do what you love and enjoy (Go back to those hobbies you used to enjoy! or hang out with your friends and family.)

Educate yourself (Look up interesting things; Learn something new; Watch an islamic podcast)

Get to work (If you have any outstanding work or homework, get straight to it.)

Learn a new surah (Let's say you REALLY have nothing else to do, then what better way to spend that time in something worthy--learning a surah!)

Go outside and enjoy nature!

⤑ 𝑩𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑯𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒔

Along with giving up those bad habits, create new good habits to incorporate in your day-to-day life!

Each day, add something in your routine--even if its small! For instance, get back to that skin care routine you were so lazy to do; or go on that walk you kept saying later to; or even folding your clothes and organizing your closet. Each time you add a good habit to do, you become distracted to those bad habits, have less time do commit them, and on the long run you are creating habits for a better difference!

With this in mind, please do not do everything at once. To prevent a negative on-going cycle, just like that book "Atomic Habits" said, that "If you can get 1% better each day for one year, you'll end up with 37 times better by the time you're done."

A habit to always include and progress even more is repentance! Recite and repeat Astaghfirullah; Ya Gaffar and Ya Gafoor; as well as the repentance surah's! Before doing anything, always say Bismillah and whether you're doing chores or scrolling on your phone, always say Astaghfirullah. This helps you be more aware of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala!

And lastly, remember you can do it!

: ̗̀➛ Allahumma musarrifal-qulubi, sarrif qulubana 'ala ta'atika

O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience.

#aesthetic #affirmations #becoming her #becoming that girl #deenislam #deenoverdunya #girl blogger #glow up #health and wellness #healthylifestyle #islampost #islamdaily #islamicquotes #islamic #islam #positive affirmations #positive thoughts #positive quotes #positivity #this is a girlblog #holy quran #quran #muslimah #positive mental attitude #muslim #that girl #it girl #wellness #healing journey #health & fitness

[newsourceofnonsense]

The Quite Girl's Heart

A love story of overcoming insecurities and an unexpected romance of a shy girl (Y/N) and a confident boy (Chris sturniolo)

A/N-new to writing, so sorry if it doesn't make sense. Just a sweet little fic to get my writing started. may dive deeper as time goes on.

Music mentioned= Lovers Rock, TV girl

T.W= none (just bad spelling and grammar)

Chris speaking is orange

y/n speaking is pink

This is y/n, when asked to describe herself she is quick to note down how she is pictured as a shy and introverted girl. She is not one to seek attention or crave the spotlight. Instead, she finds solace in her drawings and music, where she can get lost in her own little world. where people wish they can be like her.

Y/N have always been like this, ever since she was a child. Her parents used to worry about her, thinking that she would never open up to anyone. How she will slowly blend into the background. But she may be shy, but she have a big heart and is always willing to lend a listening ear to those who need it.

But despite her kind heart, no one really notices her. She is the shadow in the bustling hallways of the high school. Watching those around her and dreaming of being them. Y/N have a small group of friends, but even they sometimes forget that she is there.

That is until one day, its was last period Maths class, Y/N was not amazing at Maths but good enough to get a good grade. She usually spent maths lessons with her headphones in and doodling in her note book, with her work being finished early on. But today was different, Lovers Rock by Tv Girl had started to play, when she was suddenly interrupted by a figure sitting in the abandoned seat next to her. Y/N took no notice and began to complete her earlier doodle from lunch when the figure beside her tapped her arm.

With a shaky hand she paused the music and looked at the figure. Y/Ns eyes were met with Chris Sturniolo's. She didn't know many people at this school but she knew him. how couldn't you, he is a triplet for god sake. Chris had a slim build and light freckles scattered across his face. His brown hair had grown to a comfortable medium length, and was currently un kept giving Chris a carefree and approachable appearance. Chris's eyes are striking, with a ocean blue iris and a constant smile that lights up his face. Chris is known to have a very confident personality making him popular with the people he meets.

The lingering silence was broken by his confident yet hesitant voice "Sorry for bothering you Y/N, I'm Chris, Miss Koury said that you could help me out with my Maths" every part of Y/N wishes for her to say no, to excuse herself and go back to her own little world. But she could see the desperation form on his face. "Look Y/N, I could really use your help, I cant even begin to tell you how painful these lessons are" he looks down at her desk "and you always seem to get your work done instantly, so you must be really good at it." as he finishes his sentence she focus on that fact that he notices her, it was small and something many people may overlook but when you get overlooked by everyone else you take notice of these things. Y/N begin to reply "me? oh, no. I just like to stay on top of things" continuing on "and it means that the teachers don't bother me and leave me to listen to music" As Y/N spoke she can see that Chris has turned his full attention to her. He listened intently to every word she said, his eyes never leaving her face. She can feel the nerves filling her body.

He began to speak again and sensing the hesitance and uncertainty in her voice he tried his best to get rid of her fear. "Good at maths and organised, looks like I asked the right person to help me out" he leans in closer on a wait for a reply. Chris takes a closer look at Y/Ns face and he finds his gaze linger on her features. Y/Ns green eyes are striking, and Chris cant help but be drawn in by their intensity. He noticed the freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, adding to her unique beauty. Chris couldn't help but found the shy girls smile enduring, Y/Ns most noticeable feature is her crooked nose. While many may see this as a flaw, Y/N included, in Chris's eyes it made her more attractive. Y/Ns cracked circle glasses sit slightly wonky on her face, but it only added to her character. Chris cant help but admire the black hair that falls in waves around the shy girls face, with streaks of white running through it like a silvery thread. he feels his smile growing as he sees her begin to speak again.

"oh, thank you." a warm sensation filled Y/Ns face, she just know that her cheeks were pink. "so... what exactly do you need my help with?" as soon as she finished her words Chris began "Maths. I really need help with Maths" Y/Ns lips curl upward into a shy smile, and her eyes crinkle at the corners as she giggles making her follow it up with her pushing her glasses up. Chris feels a sense of joy wash over him as he sees her reaction, seeing her become more comfortable around him. "I understand that" she reassures him "but what precisely about maths do you need help with?" Chris follows closely with this answer wanting to her voice again. "well basically everything." Chris said nervously "I see how well you do on test and I was hoping you could teach me your ways, so Miss Koury can finally leave me alone" he scanned her face waiting to see mockery swarm over it, but he was quickly reassured that this quiet girl is far form mockery. "you don't have to be so sweet" Y/Ns cheeks getting even more pink "Of course I will help" Y/N then begins to take out her note book revealing a neatly organized set of notes and practice problems. Chris couldn't help but be impressed by her preparation and dedication to the subject. Chris's confidence was infectious and Y/N could feel herself becoming ill with confidence. A lively but relaxed conversation bounced between them as Y/N explained and empathised points to Chris.

*time skip to the end of the lesson (so basically the end of the day)*

As the clocked ticked closer to the end of the day fellow classmates eagerly prepare there things to go home, whereas Chris and Y/N are still left in there comfortable conversation. Chris can see how passionate Y/N is about helping him, and Y/N couldn't believe that Chris noticed her and right now was laughing and smiling at all her crapy Maths jokes. Y/N could feel her heart flutter every time. Hearing the ruckus happening around him Chris debated on if he should ask Y/N for her number or at least a social media account, But just before he could muster up the courage the bell rang out. "Thank you for giving up your music time to help me Y/N" Chris spoke out as they calmly place their belonging into their bags "cant believe I am going to say this but..." curiosity filled Y/N face and a wave of nerves washed over her in anticipation on what he was going to follow with, then he began to speak. "I really enjoyed this Maths lesson" Then Y/N was hit with a sharp punch of disappointment, she was hoping he would say something different but she wasn't sure what. she plastered on a crooked nerves smile and began to speak "yeah. It was lovely taking to you" now finished zipping her bag she gently brushes pass Chris who is still gathering notes and shoving them into his bag.

Y/N exits the classroom, puts her earphones in and begins walking with the crowds of people to her locker. In her own world placing books neatly on her locker shelf and taking out her jacket a lone hand places itself on her shoulder and she begins to turn. Y/N is now met face to face with Chris again with Nick and Matt standing behind. Chris is struggling to close his bag showing clearly that he rushed to catch her, he catches his breath as Y/N yet again pauses her music for him. "sorry for making you pause your music again" Chris speaks out finally zipping up his bag and making himself look more presentable. "Don't worry it fine" Y/N say to make sure Chris knows he is not burden to her "err..was there something you needed?". Chris subtly looks behind him seeing the figures of his brother wating behind. He debts whether or not to ask for her number than finally begins to speak. "Well I was just wondering" Chris feels his confidence in battle with is nerves "well.... its just that"

The battle was lost Chris's nerves had won. He found himself fill with disappointment when his words coward to safety. "Do you mind helping me next Maths lesson". Y/N heart sinks, she is unsure why but she wishes for more. But with her heavy heart Y/N agrees to help once more "Ur...yeah I will be happy to help" Y/N didn't not want to miss a chance to be with Chris. Y/N has never felt this way before, she realised that when she spoke to him she didn't feel shy. Chris made her feel confident and comfortable in her own skin.

Before Chris could leave Y/N was struck but a pulse of confident and informed Chris "You can find me in the library" she had a sweet smile resting on her face and her eyes had a bright glow. Y/Ns tone softened and she spoke "just in case you need to talk" Y/N shocked by her own words and how forward she was being, stumbling on her next, trying to look less eager to talk to Chris again hoping she hadn't messed up "about the Maths problem" she stumbled out "I don't mind going over any of them" she anticipated to be declined for her offer but was soon was put at ease by Chris's words "Library". Repeating the location almost as to make a mental note, "OK" Chris said more for himself, showing that he retained the information. "well I am sure I will see you soon" he looks as his brothers beginning to walk to the exit sensing the end of the conversation sooner then Chris wanted. With Chris's brothers now out of ear shot he spoke "I'm sure I will have no problem mustering up some Maths questions to have an excuse to disturber your music once again". A pink hue was now painted over his face, with his feelings flustered be quickly turned to catch up with his brothers leaving Y/N with these final words "I have loved speaking to you". Y/N was left to reflect as she put on her jacket, shut her locker and began to walk home. He may had meant nothing by it she thought, it may have been a simple compliment. But still she found herself playing those words back in her mind, replacing the music that plays. Y/N found herself thinking about her interaction with Chris. How she felt nothing but happiness, she felt comfortable around him, her shyness becoming a distant figure in her past. And while she thought this was just a passing moment, that once he got a good grade it will go back to normal, she couldn't help but hope for more, hope that he asks for help with more classes, asks for help with anything. Just so she can she can see his beautiful soul again. Just so she can feel happy again.

*time skip to the next day- lunch time*

last night when finally arriving home Chris instantly began going over his note. Not for revision, NO! but so he can go see Y/N, to talk to her again.

Its now lunch and Chris has branched off from his brothers and his friends to make his way to the library. With a sticky note in hand with random maths questions he needs help with.

Making his way through the library, his confident and outgoing demeanour contrasted with the quite, studious atmosphere. Chris scanned the rows of shelves, searching for Y/N. He cant see her, he start to debate if he should keep looking or spend his lunch with his friends.

yet another battle was waging in his mind and he was scared of who will come out on top.....

*A/N- i hope you liked this. I didn't want it to be too long so if you will like a part 2 just say*

*A/N- any advice or recommendations are more then welcome*

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #fanfic #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris x y/n #chris x reader #y/n

[villiedoom]

About worldbuilding

My style of worldbuilding is observation, feeling and perception, allowing the world to grow on its own, favoring ideas that resonate with me personally over those that are logical and realistic. It is important for me to see, feel and then - to understand what my world and characters wants to say and show me, and not to be their designer.

Because of this, I care little about the biology of the creatures, what they eat and why they look so strange. I don't know much about them, but I allow them to be mysterious, although I am always glad to finally see and understand some details of their life and nature.

«One of my favorite ideas/scenes is about wandering in the snowy mountains. It’s like a journey through the afterlife, lonely and very personal. Climbing the mountain, where the only obstacle on the way is the mountains themselves - snow-covered and cold, with blinding blizzards, and threatening steep slopes. One wrong step - and you will fall down and die. Or freeze to death»

This is purely emotional and feeling, there is no question of whether this is real for the character or not, and why this lonely Vaeraf went to the mountains if it is so cold and dangerous. These mountains are a symbol and a metaphor for his life, feelings, difficulties he faces, and his way to the top of the mountain - to the goal, to the sky, to realize something, to overcome difficulties.

Simply put, the emotion and feelings that I experienced from my stories or when I met, for example, a Vaeraf person in my imagination or dream, are more important for me. In my art, I want to share these feelings, and not to build and describe their biology in detail. I also don't try to give all the characters I meet detailed biographies or stories. I only know these characters who are my close friends, just like it works with people in real life. What makes my characters so dear to me is my personal relationship with them, and I love them as persons that live in my mind.

Sometimes I worry that my way of creating and showing my world is wrong or stupid, because I noticed that the vast majority of people interested in worlds and creatures are more designers and "scientists" than people for whom personal impressions and feelings are way more important. But I no longer want to try to change myself, my art and my world into something that is not close and not interesting to me personally.

I remember such an idea that there are two types of artists - architects and gardeners. Architects build their world and stories according to the rules, trying to do everything well and right, they intentionally plan, build and control every detail. Whereas gardeners let their world grow on its own, but take care of it and choose which grown ideas they keep and which they uproot. In that case, I'm a total gardener who also tends to let things just grow and die on their own, even if it turns into overgrown chaos. It is important for me to feel, experience and analyze this chaos as it is, but at the same time - to love and take care of those parts of my world that are important and dear to me.

Only this way feels natural to me and keeps me in touch with my world and art, and I sincerely love this way of working with the world, even if it is hard and sometimes inconvenient to explain things to strangers. But my art, characters and my world are inherently connected to my feelings, experience and mental state, and I do not want to destroy this connection for the sake of some "true" worldbuilding just because my way is different.

~~~

Update: (I decided to add and supplement these my comments in the post)

I also want to add that it doesn't mean that I don't try to analyze and explain things from my world. It's just that my focus is different, it is important for me to feel and understand Vaerafes as persons, so I focus on their perception, feelings, morality, philosophy and psychology, trying to understand how they see, think and feel, while their nature is part of their personality. But I rarely share it because it's usually too personal - for both me and my characters.

It may be their understanding of the world, their morals and values, their relationship with each other, and also - my own relationship with them. While their world as a whole is just the world they live in, I don't study or detail it as seriously and in depth as my characters' stories, which are quite personal and can be quite metaphorical. Besides, I have some different worlds/alternative universes with different stories and ideas. Some of them don't even have the idea of being at least a bit realistic/scientific.

It's not about worldbuilding only, but also about my personal interests. Things related to philosophy(?) and psychology, as well as symbolism, self-exploration and self-expression in art, are more interesting to me than the scientific side of nature and wild animals. I like science, and sometimes it's interesting to think about my beings from that perspective, but that's just not my focus and I still perceive it from a more philosophical point of view.

I would say that the truly "scientific" side of my world is the very fact of having a world and living characters in the head of me, a living animal being of the human species. Therefore, knowing me and my interests, I would rather dig into the learning more about these weird natural processes of my mind, to know what it is and how it works, than into what these fictional creatures eat and how their digestion works, heh.

This is just my personal perception, understanding of things and interests.

~~~~~

Thank you for reading ~

#worldbuilding #fantasy #fantasy world #my world #art #drawings #fictional world #text post #thoughts #original characters

[snazzyscarf]

happy pride month.  i was watching the video from this post a minute ago and left my own comments & thoughts in the tags about how humans have pushed our own concepts of sex & gender onto other animals in nature and decided to make my own post abt it bc its something that i find really interesting

so i really love Ants, right.  and one of the main things i find interesting is that Sure, most ants in a colony are “technically” female with one (or a few) being able to reproduce.  and Sure, a couple ants in a generation that can mate with them are “technically” male.  but those terms Vastly simplify colony dynamics for the sake of equating them to our own human views on The Sexes TM.

like, there’s already a term for “male ants!!” they’re called Drones! just call them Drones, there’s no need to tack “male” on there.

similarly with Queens vs Workers! they’re both referred to as female despite there being major differences in their biological functions. “reproductive females” and “non-reproductive females” They Already Have Names. its Queens and Workers.

we’re so attached to our human concept of there only being two sexes that we apply it to creatures like ants who arguably have Three!! and even THAT is an oversimplification of colony dynamics! different species have even more niche roles like majors and minors (even repletes in honeypot ants!) and it’s FASCINATING!!

and sure, i understand that gendered terms are used to make the roles of these ants easier to understand colloquially, but i argue that doing this only further prevents people from being open to learning about and understanding the differences between sex & gender as a whole. like!! teaching children and adults about sexual polymorphism could be a GREAT introduction into understanding that biology is incredibly varied and how that is a good thing. it’s an amazing and cool thing, even! and i think that being upfront about it when educating people in layman’s terms would lead people to be much more open to the idea that there is more going on under the surface in Human biology.  and from there—gender!

it’s just like. clinging to what you were taught in Human Bio 101 prevents you from learning about so many of the wonderful and fascinating parts of the world we live in and its honestly really sad. what i’ve said about ants just now is only scratching the surface!! i really and truly believe that binary thinking is one of the most difficult barriers to overcome in our society, but i promise you that once you’re over that wall the world becomes so much more beautiful <3

#scarf.txt #transgender #queer #lgbtq #pride month #entomology #bugblr #myrmecology #biology

[queenofadarkworld]

I'm not even in the slightest able to describe how heartbroken I really feel lately and especially today.. 😭

It all started back in December 2022 with Jin and it's still hard for me to just think about it today. Back then I already knew it wouldn't be any easier for me to see the others leave as well. I love every single one of them for all the joy, laughter, smiles and happiness they brought to us in their own unique ways. I will forever be grateful for everything they did just to make Army happy. 💜

But to be quite honest: After Jin left today is the day I feared the most. The day both Jimin and Jungkook had to say their final goodbyes. Deep down inside of me I was so scared about how they were going to take it. Then they went Live and what should I say? I was not ready for any of this. To see Jimin so emotional vulnerable, to see those tears in his eyes after all those years in which he gifted us with his beautiful laugh and smile broke my heart in more than a million pieces. And Jungkook who clearly didn't want to end his Live, who clearly wanted to stay with Army even if it's just for a few more minutes? I just.. I can't.. 😭💔

I never thought how much them leaving would really hurt me but here we are.. Here I am sitting in my living room crying not knowing how to overcome these painful emotions. Somehow I feel empty like I just lost my two best friends. I know how ridiculous this might sound to some of you but that's the way I feel anyway. 💔

For me the only thing that makes it around 0,001% easier to let Jimin and Jungkook go as well is that they at least will have each other and find themselves able to rely on each other. They will walk down this path together as the "brothers" they have been all the time before. Maybe that little thought will keep me going sometime. But definitely not today. Not after we all could see how sad and heartbroken they really were. 😔

2025. A number that for a lot of people simply means that a new year has started. A new year with both its ups and downs just like every other year before. But for Army.. For me.. 2025 means so much more. Finally we will get our beloved boys back. BTS and Army will be together again no matter in which way. No one knows in which state both mentally and physically they will return to us. But I'm sure Army will love them and still have their backs. I sure will! 💜

Army! I assume everyone of us is in their own state of pain and grief right now. But no matter how hard the time till their return might be we have to stay strong for them as they surely will stay strong for us. We owe them to stay strong. No one of us has to go through this alone. Let's stick together as one, let's help each other and let's stay strong together. We can go through this hard time as long as we do it together. For their and our own sake. 💜

Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook. No matter what stones have been thrown into your way you kept on being strong even if it was difficult. You were able to do that because every single one of you is a strong person. But also because you fought together for your dreams and for what you all love. Music. Army. Please stay strong and keep on fighting so that one beautiful day you all return safely to us. We will be here. Patiently waiting for the day that we are able to make all of you smile and laugh out of pure happiness again. 💜🫰🏻

BTS and Army - an eternal love! 💜🫶🏻💜

#bts #bts army #bts jin #bts jhope #bts suga #bts rm #bts v #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts seokjin #bts hoseok #bts yoongi #bts namjoon #bts taehyung #bts and army forever #Darks private World 🖤

[fancifulplaguerat]

I have further spare Aglaya thoughts. Cannot stop thinking about how whenever Aglaya mentions her hatred towards Nina it's predicated on Nina's cruelty/disregard for others contrasted against Aglaya's lines like “To this day, I've been paying for my kind-heartedness,” “It's a pity that everyone sees an enemy in me. Such is the bias against inquisitors. I only wish to do good; not specific, targeted good, like that Clara, but overarching good,” “I am a humanitarian. My duty is to save people, not kill them. I only condemn a few to death for the sake of the many.” That “I've been paying for my kind-heartedness” and “It's a pity that everyone sees an enemy in me” just make my heart hurt for her because I do sincerely believe her. Yes she is cruel towards Clara and deceives Daniil but I've said it before I will say it again: 1) I love Daniil so very much but *everyone* warned him not to trust her and 2) nearly every Patho character is an opportunist and/or trying to act after being dealt and incredibly shitty hand, which often results in deception and cruelty towards others. Aglaya is no different in my mind.

Also a particular detail in her dialogue which caught my eye is when she remarks that, “For a moment, I thought [Block] was driven by the same feeling that I am: a great man, when unexpectedly betrayed by the people he loves, will often seek to fill the whole universe with his blind spite. Yes, the feeling is indeed familiar...” I wonder what this refers to. My first thought is presumably Nina, but I can't quite imagine Aglaya feeling betrayed by her? It seems like they were too opposed? Like. I have no idea if I can articulate this well, but: Nina and Aglaya seem so alike yet fundamentally different that I just imagine tension would be endemic in their relationship. Also the way Aglaya characterizes her in the quote “Nina was the embodiment of absolute evil. The charming, intoxicating, beautiful evil, the evil that can drive you mad. The graceful and elegant evil that is fast to capture anyone in its web—even those who stand up to evil till the very last.” She calls Nina evil constantly. It is the lifeblood of her motivation—to destroy what her sister created. But that betrayal lines makes me think about what sort of uncomfortable love one can only have towards a family member that they fucking hate, like Aglaya does indeed think Nina is evil but also she is her (little?) sister and presumably grew up with her and I doubt Aglaya could see her as just wholly evil. That entire mess. Just compels me, particularly in how it adds another aspect to Nina.

I often think about how Nina is this object of terror and adoration more than a character in Patho Classic. Even sometimes, in my opinion, more an embodiment of utopia as Simon is for creation. Everyone close to her or who merely knew her as Mistress absolutely reveres her, perhaps even more after her death (which I think is the point, but, I digress). So to me, Aglaya and Maria have the most interesting dynamics with Nina because only through them does Nina feel more "real" to me, insofar as a character can. The dichotomy between Aglaya and Nina nicely contrasts this to me. Yes other characters allude to Nina being terrifying and so forth, but Aglaya's declarations that Nina is evil aren't accompanied by any reverence or respect or adoration that often does other characters' discussions of her. And it's yes Maria idolizes her, but as a child idealizes their parent. That is entirely separate from other characters who appear closest to Nina in Patho Classic: Victor, Andrey, and Peter, all of whom presumably had some sort of romantic attachment to her (if to various degrees and requitedness). Maria looks up to her, and in her words, “shall become her, [...] shall overcome her...” Maria interests me in that vein, that she aims to surpass her mother, and thus her idealization is necessarily different than others' who solely worship her.

I did not intend to write that much but this is what thinking about the Kaina-Lilich women does to a motherfucker. Apparently.

#what in god's name did IPL put in the kai n family that makes me feel like I got thrown in a blender for sport #patho.txt #pathologic #aglaya lilich #maria kaina #nina kaina

[mdhwrites]

Is TOH Worse By Having Character Arcs?

In a story theoretically about inclusivity, finding your space and accepting who you are... Is it right that so many people change as drastically as they do?

This is going to be a bit of an odd topic because pop culture nowadays reveres the concept of the character arc almost above any other aspect of writing. If your characters do not exhibit change, how can they be deep or interesting? Where is the story in a character who mostly stays static? And that's not a bad instinct because a character overcoming some major flaw or corrupted ideal they hold onto is very compelling.

However, character arcs are like any part of writing: They are a TOOL for the writer to use. Just like with any tool, it won't fit every job. Not every story needs large, grand arcs. So was The Owl House a story where this tool should have been applied?

I argue no, despite the fact that its character arcs are such a lauded part of it. This isn't entirely because there is no space for character arcs in its themes but that its goals are... touchy when it comes to the idea of change. That requires us to first ask what those goals are in the first place.

Well, the show isn't always very good at defining these but if I'm being generous, we'll go with: The idea that one shouldn't be ashamed for who they are.

The need for a space where you can feel safe and like yourself.

Self expression and self determination being the greatest virtues in both people and society.

As a base this isn't bad. The middle one is dangerous because it can very quickly become isolationist but they do all point in the same direction of a story that wants to make sure that 'the other' doesn't feel wrong simply for not conforming to what society expects of them. Whether this is stereotypes pushed upon them, anxieties over things like sexuality, generational gaps, etc. like that, there's PLENTY to explore. Even if you want to go less severe, there's just a lot of quirks, especially in modern society, that can lead to someone feeling fake or wrong or weird, including feeling like you lean too much on your own stereotype just because you genuinely like makeup or the like.

The problem for TOH becomes that only the more extreme version actually supports real, long term character arcs. Someone who is deeply entrenched in a toxic element of society figuring out ways to be themselves despite the prejudice before them. In the show, the only person who actually faces anything like this is Eda since the society of the Isles actually DOES push down on what she believes is her identity as a wild witch. Unfortunately, Eda's arc isn't about grappling with her position as a wild witch and how that separates her from the world and family but more about softening up, getting rid of the activities she used to love/kept her alive and becoming maternal rather than embracing the wild side that made her a wild witch in the first place.

In other words, her arc is about flipping her character around rather than about embracing who she is. Which, you know... Goes against the goals of the show.

Pretty much every arc is like this. Amity goes from being extremely driven about magic and caring about her future in this world, as well as having anxieties about her family to the point where she takes drastic action to get ahead... To caring only about her girlfriend and marginally about maybe keeping some okay relations with her family. Instead of any of her drive, intelligence, cunning, etc. like that being refined by smoothing out the rougher edges and realizing she shouldn't be cruel in order to succeed in her ambitions, her ambitions are blamed on someone else and otherwise her character entirely inverts for the sake of... Luz. Which, you know... Luz needing a maternal figure for her found family is much of why, in hindsight, it feels like Eda became motherly. For Luz.

Hunter becomes a soft boy because when he gets his staff back and reminds her that he is a loyal member of the EC, she disapproves. Hell, 90% of what Hunter ever does in the show is for someone else's approval or survival, with him even ending up following after an ancestor almost 1:1, making him probably the least self-accepting character in the entire cast. Lilith falls under similar issues. She was driven and even had appeared to have softened with age, wanting to usher in new witches into their best forms as part of her job, and then... She stops. She gives up on all of her ambitions besides a little bit of a grudge against someone else and is turned into a joke for the most part. Even her trauma is mocked which doesn't seem to have literally ever been something she would have accepted, young or old nor is it something a show about acceptance should include.

And you might notice that most of the problems for these characters I'm describing aren't for themselves. Solving them isn't about self actualization. At best, they are about getting out of shitty situations but you can do that without changing the core of the character. You can have Luz save someone from death but then have who they are reject Luz anyways because of her position in society. People are complex like that. After all, if you wish for acceptance for what you care about, you naturally have to extend that kindness to others and their interests (so long as those interests aren't hateful/harmful, etc. like that. Do not tolerate Nazis.)

Amity for example is at worst a bully. She isn't hateful, she's just mean as a function of how she sees EVERYONE as an enemy. A competitor who she needs to guard against. You can develop her, because not all development forms a character arc, into still being driven, still desiring to be better, but now she understands that she doesn't need to be an island. That she can drop her guard sometimes and when she needs to crush something, it's an actual enemy. Instead, her desires, beliefs, friends, family, etc. are all put to the pyre. They are not allowed to coexist with the 'correct' version of her, not without them having to also change in a similar manner to her. To a state that the show is willing to deem acceptable in a wider sense.

Why is that a thing in a show about self acceptance and realization? How is that self-expression or self-determination? How is that understanding?

And that's why I think in the end, The Owl House's character arcs hurt it more than anything else.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical

[definegodliness]

Swinging

Short story (1282 words).

I was having breakfast at Bob's Intercontinental Swinging Club, as I tend to do, each Saturday morning. They've got great home-made sandwiches. Horrendous coffee, though.

I suspect Donna, Bob's wife, reheats the leftover coffee from the day before, to then add some fresh brew, that is so criminally strong it'll have a spoon standing upright in your mug, to mask the taste. Any taste.

Still, Bob's is the only place I know where you can still smoke indoors, so what do I care. I was just about to start my second sandwich, when I saw Bob waft through the streaks and plumes of nicotine blue, approaching my window side table.

"Hey, Bob."

He sat down at my table. Bob never has to ask. I offered him a cigarette, which he denied. And from his front-side pocket he fetched a small box of cigarellos. He lit one with a match, inhaled deeply, and, then, let out a big, tear-inducing column of a sigh. He was evidently feeling heavy, so I tried to lighten the mood:

"Damn, Biff — I call him Biff because Bob looks like Old Man Biff from the Back to the Future movies — what do they put in those; asphalt and conifer?"

This caused a faint smile, before he took another pensive draw.

"So, eh, how's business?", I leaned forward over the table, interested, and immediately drew back due to my elbows sticking to yesterday's beer.

"Not great, McFly, not great."

"Yeah, I noticed customer amounts dwindling. What is up with that?", I lifted my sandwich off the plate, "Can't be these, Donna still aces them."

"No, no. People still love those. And you can smoke indoors. The cafeteria's fine, but I just can't seem to get people excited for swinging anymore."

"Ludicrous. I can't think of anything more exciting."

I closed my eyes and thought of yesterday's Friday Swinging Night, letting a grin curl my mouth. I don't know if I spoke or whispered.

"It's just so… satisfying."

For sure, though, I then once more leaned forward over the table, overcoming its stickiness for the sake of importance. And, solemnly, I added:

"Come on, Biff, I'm sure it's just a temporary slump. I've been coming here for years and years. Swinging is timeless. I know it's different, now, then when Pops started in the 60's, but when you took over, the club went intercontinental. That's a great feat. Besides, I mean, I'm half this club's age, but you and Donna picked me up, and pulled me into swinging. I'm sure we can do this for the next generation."

"Frankly, Mark — wait, no McFly? — I think that's the problem."

"¿Que?"

"Guys, like you… you are the problem."

I spat out my coffee.

"Awful, isn't it?

"Yes", I muttered, wiping my mouth with my palm, to then swiftly and frantically brush the coffee grounds from my teeth with my index finger.

"But I am also shocked! How can you say such a thing? I'm your most loyal customer. AND your friend."

"You're also very conservative."

"That's not true. I was the first to laud you for omitting Family Swings. I am definitely not for everything staying the same."

"Yeah, but that's just because they made you queasy…"

I pulled an ugly face, thinking of Family Swings. Horrible occasions. I didn't need to say a thing. Bob was right.

And so he continued:

"… So don't act like you're all progressive. You always go for the same. Hey, the older they get, the more you love 'em."

"What can I say? I like mine vintage. They feel better. Move better."

I leaned backwards and crossed my arms.

"They make better noises, too. Heck, they make sound, Bob! Do you know how unsatisfying silence is?"

Bob frowned, and shook his head. Clearly unimpressed by my arguments. So I continued my passionate plea:

"I mean, come on, you know I'm loud. Don't you know how awkward I feels when I'm alone at that? I need them to be louder than me!"

Bob just took another draw of his cigarello and blew out a deep sigh of disappointment.

"They don't make noise, because you never play with them."

He put out his cigarello as a statement.

"Don't you remember how you were when you first came here? Like a kid in a candy store. You tried them all. Loved them all. Here you can't even remember how silent Jessica was, until you were all over her. Now, she's the loudest of them all."

"Yeah, that's why she feels mine. That's why I keep returning", I weaselled, unwisely.

"That is so against swinging culture."

"All right, all right. I take that back. I just like my 90's baby a lot. But you know I also love my 80's baby Stella, and Tiffany…

Bob interrupted me.

"That's exactly my point! You only go for the older ones. The one's that've been here for years!"

I, however, was already too far gone. Lost in recalling Fridays. Thinking about my favourites: 60's baby's, 50's, 40's, 30's… 20's! Listing all their names. Until I, in my excitement, named that one name who should not be named.

By me, that is.

"Huberta! Oh, Huberta. Sure, she's wobbly and creaks a little, but…"

Bob slammed the table.

"You know you're no longer allowed near Huberta!"

"Ah, come on. Why not? Still not?"

"You broke her."

"Nothing a little titanium couldn't fix..."

He threw his hands in the air, anguished at this statement.

"I'm not having this." Then, louder, and to the kitchen: "Donna! I'm not having this! Can't talk to the kid."

"Just tryyy it."

He grunted.

"All right, listen. I see you sneaking around Huberta while you know she's off limits. Off. Limits. And you know what? All those names you just listed. Off limits. All. Off. Limits."

Bob waved his finger at me, the jolly fellow had never scolded anyone like this. Let alone myself. It was only now I understood he was really, really pissed. So, I did the only thing I could do. I apologized. Shut my mouth. And listened.

And, luckily, after I said sorry, Bob calmed a bit.

"Look, it's always the same with you. I appreciate your patronage and dedication to the club, but you use those poor things up. You have at them, and at them, and at them, until you break them. I know it's all out of your limitless swinging enthusiasm, but you are giving the club a bad name. Really, you are, Mark. In fact, we've come known as: not safe."

I sat silently, guiltily, trying to stir the spoon in my coffee.

"Am I banned now?"

"Nah, McFly, I wouldn't ban you. But I'm begging ya, just try the new ones. Play with them. See, Hailey for instance, she's our newest addition; been here for over a week, and I've never seen you even look at her."

Bob stood up and patted my shoulder.

"Do me a favour, will ya? Just try her. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun. You'll be coming back for more just like you did with Jessica."

"Hailey, eh?" I nodded.

And, so, I slumped to Bob's Intercontinental Swing Club's latest model, Hailey 2023. Silently muttering to myself. She was perfect. Far too perfect for me. But I hopped onto her, strapped myself to her — what a bullshit safety feature — and took a couple of steps backward. Shoes tipping over soft rubber tiles, another safety precaution. I rolled my eyes, thinking:

'It's a goddamn swing.'

I craved the element of danger the older models give me, and as I let Hailey 2023 launch me, steadily, and silently; back, and forth, smoothly, I uttered a reluctant:

"Whee."

---

30-8-2023, M.A. Tempels ©

#prose #absurdism #spilled ink #writing #creative writing #spilled thoughts #writers on tumblr #writeblr

[peppermint-twst]

I want to start analyzing the characters’ forms of romantic love using Socionics theory—a personality typing system similar to MBTI but more in-depth. Socionics puts a big focus on relations and compatibility between types.

So I plan to use the characters’ sociotypes to explain their possible romancing behavior. This is all theory and headcanons and I’m using personality-database.com as source for their types. There’s room for inaccuracy but this is what i have to work with…

Remember this is just for fun and shouldn’t be taken seriously

Anyway! Let’s start with Cater! If this gets an ok amount of engagement, I might make a more in-depth post or do other characters later.

Cater - ESE (ESFj) - “The Communicator”

Cater’s sociotype is ESE (ESFj) which fits with his sunny, outgoing personality. His forms of love are Mania and Eros (I will cover that in a bit). He’s the type that when he falls, he falls HARD. And there isn’t much stopping him when it comes to conquering what (or who) he desires. Even when the other party shows disinterest, he won’t lose hope.

Cater is the type that gets blinded by love he doesn’t notice or acknowledge the other person’s flaws. His type makes him a very passionate lover.

Here are some quotes about this type:

“The COMMUNICATOR is cheerful, optimistic, and can endure a lot from the object of his feelings. Despite his emotionality and sensitivity, he is quite an imperous and strong character.”

“Erotic stimulus and recklessness of this passionate and persevering conqueror make him capable of many compromises for the sake of feelings.”

“Only inherent to him cheerfulness and a sense of humor help him overcome all obstacles on the way to his goal, not taking close to heart neither the coldness nor even flat refusals of a partner - for as long as this person is of interest for the COMMUNICATOR. His belief in success and reciprocity does not run low even in the most hopeless situations.”

“If he manages to win over his partner, whom he has fallen in love with, he does not consider any formalities. His emotion and desire is so great that is makes him close his eyes to much.”

“The sensing types SEI and ESE enjoy being gently stroked on their skin. However, the ESE is much more emotional and passionate in his love manifestations…”

Now back to forms of love, the ESE combines Mania and Eros for his romance style. Here are their descriptions:

Eros:

“This is a passionate, powerful, and sensual attraction to the object of love. Appearance and manner of behavior of a loved one are of great value here. They evoke aesthetic feelings and reverence before the outward perfection, often exaggerated - of face, figure, gait. People for whom this form of love is predominant seek harmony of both body and soul, and are able to turn a blind eye to minor flaws and faults. Inspired by love, they are capable of great devotion, constantly improving their own manners and ways of expressing their feelings, as well as forms of their body, beauty of their clothes, aesthetics of their environment. They willingly adjust and adapt their partner to themselves. They give much importance to physical enjoyments. Not finding the desired harmony, they become forever disappointed in the object of their feelings, and easily part ways with him or her. This form of displays of affection became widespread in ancient Greece, is most characteristic of developed societies, and is still widely promoted by the media and various forms of art.”

Mania:

“Prolonged emotional ecstasy, obsession with love, over-valuation of its significance, which leads to strong emotional shocks, reckless actions, and even dramas. This feeling is strong, possessive, demanding, thirsty for complete reciprocity, but also capable of many compromises. This love is very enduring, even in those cases when it is unrequited. Often it is capable of heroism and sacrifice, and even unconditional devotion. It is full of contradictions, since it is very dependent on changeable moods. Quarrels may be frequent with this kind of love, as well as sharp contrasts in behavior, even fleeting infidelity. It is the cause for unpredictable actions and disregard for generally accepted norms of behavior. Mania love exists since ancient times, but it became most widespread in the 20th century in Western Europe after the sexual revolution, whose followers called for the emancipation of the senses and the denial of the cold bourgeois rationality. It has not lost its relevance in our pragmatic time, though it has become less dramatic.”

Cater puts a lot of value into aesthetics so Eros seems to fall in line with him. This doesn’t mean beauty and good looks is the sole source of his love. They might help get him interested, but once he falls in love, the other person will be nothing but perfection and flawlessness to him.

Now out of all forms of love, Mania is the most passionate. It’s that crazy kind of love which may veer into obsession. Cater can withstand a lot of sacrifice for the sake of love… which makes sense when you look into his habit of people-pleasing.

Sources:

If anyone reading this is interested in me expanding on this post or doing other characters, please engage—like, reblog, comment, message, or send an ask!

Also if you’re interested in Socionics, you can start by taking this test:

(Remember that test results are not always accurate so it’s possible that you may get mistyped. The test is only a starting point.)

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twst cater #cater diamond #cater x reader #twst headcanons #twst hcs #cater x y/n