#it’s so exhausting and I just want to get away from people who are negative

[misorai]

.

#I’ll delete this when I’m over it but I’m soooo upset #I hate gossip #I hate when people are given a platform to be negative and tear others down #it causes drama and pettiness and gaslighting and I literally cannot handle that #it’s so exhausting and I just want to get away from people who are negative #why can’t you be careful with your words #why are you choosing bitterness and hate over peace and kindness #it’s so hurtful #and then when you’re confronted by the consequences of your words you try to play victim and you sabotage other people #imagine having the power to do good and be kind but instead you’re being so divisive and selfish lol #rant over but I’m so hurt lol #pls give me Grace and patience bc I’m done #hold yourself accountable #but anyway whatever is done in the dark will be brought to the light 🤷‍♀️

[apas-95]

Is there a story behind China's one child policy that makes it not as horrifying as western media claims?

The defining feature of China's development for the past 70 years has been the urban-rural divide. In order to develop a semi-feudal country with a very low industrial level into an industrialised, socialist nation, it was necessary to develop industrial centres. To 'organically' develop industrial centres would have taken many decades, if not centuries of continued impoverishment and starvation, so programs were put in place to accelerate the development of industry by preferentially supporting cities.

Programs like the 'urban-rural price scissors' placed price controls on agricultural products, which made food affordable for city-dwellers, at the direct expense of reducing the income of rural, agricultural areas. This hits on the heart of the issue - to preferentially develop industrial centres in order to support the rest of the country, the rest of the country must first take up the burden of supporting those centres. Either some get out of poverty *first*, or nobody gets out of poverty at all. The result being: a divide between urban and rural areas in their quality of life and prospects. In order to keep this system from falling apart, several other policies were needed to support it, such as the Hukou system, which controlled immigration within the country. The Hukou system differentiated between rural and urban residents, and restricted immigration to urban areas - because, given the urban-rural divide, everyone would rather just try to move to the cities, leaving the agricultural industry to collapse. The Hukou system (alongside being a piece in many other problems, like the 'one country two systems', etc) prevented this, and prevented the entire thing from collapsing. The 'one child policy' was another system supporting this mode of development. It applied principally to city-dwellers, to prevent the populations of cities expanding beyond the limited size the agricultural regions could support, and generally had no 'punishments' greater than a lack of government child-support, or even a fine, for those who still wanted additional children. Ethnic minorities, and rural residents, were granted additional children, with rural ethnic minorities getting double. It wasn't something anyone would love, but it served an important purpose.

I use the past-tense, here, because these systems have either already been phased out or are in the process of being phased out. The method of urban-rural price scissors as a method of development ran its course, and, ultimately, was exhausted - the negative aspects, of its underdevelopment of rural regions, began to overwhelm its positive aspects. So, it was replaced with the paradigm of 'Reform and Opening Up' around the 1980s. Urban-rural price scissors were removed (leading to protests by urban workers and intellectuals in the late '80s), and the Hukou system, along with the 'one child policy', were and are being slowly eased out as lessening inequality between the urban and rural areas make them unnecessary. Under the new system, the driver of development was no longer at the expense of rural regions, but was carried out through the internal market and external capital. The development paradigm of Reform and Opening Up worked to resolved some contradictions, in the form of the urban-rural divide, and created some of its own, in the form of internal wealth divisions within the cities. Through it, over 800 million people were lifted out of extreme poverty - almost all of them being in rural areas - and extreme poverty was completely abolished within China. 'Extreme poverty' can be a difficult thing for westerners to grasp, wherein poverty means not paying rent on time, but to illustrate - many of the last holdout regions of extreme poverty were originally guerrilla base areas, impassable regions of mountainside which were long hikes away from schools or hospitals, wherein entire villages were living in conditions not dissimilar to their feudal state a century before. These villages were, when possible, given infrastructure and a meaningful local industry accounting their environment and tradition (like growing a certain type of mountainous fruit), or entirely relocated to free government-built housing lower down the mountain that was theirs to own. These were the people the 'one child policy' was aiding, by reducing the urban population they had to support. Again, there were exemptions for rural and ethnic minority populations to the policy.

Even now, Reform and Opening Up is running its course. Its own negative aspects, such as urban wealth inequality, are beginning to overcome its positive aspects. So, the new paradigm is 'Common Prosperity', which will work to resolve the past system's contradictions, and surely introduce its own contradictions in the form of chafing against the national bourgeoisie, as it increases state control and ownership of industry, and furthers a reintroduced collectivisation. Organising a nation of well over a billion people is not simple. It is not done based on soundbytes and on picking apart policies in the abstract for how 'dystopian' they sound. It is an exceedingly complex and interconnected process based on a dialectical, material analysis of things; not a utopian, idealist one. What matters is this: those 800,000,000 people now freed from absolute poverty. The things necessary to achieve that were, unquestionably, good things - because they achieved that. They had their negative aspects, as does everything that exists, but they were unquestionably correct and progressive things.

[moodyhaaze]

just me ranting about s*lmare again,,, sigh

it’s kind of getting on my nerves seeing people getting mad at others for pointing out s*lmare’s shitty behavior. like, i get that people may not want to see negativity about the games/devs but acting like people aren’t allowed to be negative is a whole different thing.

look. i’m not trying to be seen as the like “ultimate s*lmare hater™︎” or anything (or maybe i am), but i’m just going to compile a quick and nowhere near exhaustive list for everybody so they understand why i and so many other fans are still so mad. because quite frankly i’m sick of people crying on twitter that i’m “just being mean” when what i’m really doing is calling a spade a spade.

for an ENTIRE YEAR before nightbringer was released, devs never told anybody that a new game was coming out. everybody grinded for an ENTIRE YEAR because we were kept under the impression that a new season was coming to OG only to be told “haha we’re going to make you pretty much redo the whole story again (but in the past :O !!!) only after which you’ll get a conclusion for OG :)” [the end of lesson 80 of OG literally said coming soon until AFTER nightflop was announced.]

devs waited until a reddit ama to even tell us that a new game was coming, but only when asked by a fan who’s question subsequently got buried in all the other responses. the only reason anybody else saw it is because it was screenshotted and posted to twitter and in its own post on reddit. no official announcement was made prior. the first official announcement we got was like a week or two before nightflop was released.

they keep pushing out terrible quality events back to back just to milk money from fans even though the vast majority of fans have said they don’t like back to back events because the quality of them are horrendous. most players would rather have fewer events with better writing then to have constant shit ones.

never told us that daily chats were ending in OG. we only knew this was happening because someone sent a ticket to the devs and it was then screenshotted and posted to twitter.

s*lmare has proved time and time again that they only care about whales. they’ve proven this by paywalling a lot of features in Nightbringer. and before anyone drops in with “but they give us more devil points in battles >:(“ shut up. haven’t you noticed the increase in need to spend devil points? whether for character outfits, sprite outfits, level up sales (that they’ve made more frequent by making leveling up easier), ap sales, etc… they’ve only given you more DP so you’ll spend more DP.

they literally shoved an ad down our throats as many times as they could (in NB) by putting it on the HOME. SCREEN. as well as making it one of the first things you see when you boot up the app and in the side news thing. they didn’t do anything about it until fans complains relentlessly for WEEKS.

they took away the 10x free pulls for HDD 4 (which is OG’s birthday NOT Nightflop’s). they have always done the free pulls since the games inception. they did this so that fans are more likely to use they’re own vouchers or pay irl money for the cards they want.

they lowered nightmare drops EVEN LOWER to force players to draw more if they want certain cards (this goes back to putting players in a position to use irl money to buy devil points for nightmare summons if they want certain cards).

wanderers whereabouts and fabsnap are lazy and unnecessary and from what i understand, most people barely fool with it. the models are cheap and horrendous. (i get it’s a mobile game and the graphics are not going to be like PS5 level, but come on.)

they took away birthday events without an announcement. people were saving AP and demon vouchers for their favorite boys’ birthday events only to instead be given ONLY a birthday nightmare with a pity OF 200. they also stopped doing birthday events before asmo’s 2023 bday, leaving him as the only brother without a prince card. never mind the fact that they’ve paywalled birthday items in wanderer’s whereabouts for $3.99 (usd).

they changed some devil grams (in OG) to please a loud minority of players that didn’t like having to kiss the brothers in the devilgrams. in a game about dating and kissing demons. they pandered to a small (but quite loud) minority of players BITCHING that they didn’t want to kiss the brothers. in a game about dating demons.

they’ve infantilized the game and lowered the age rating (to 12+) to make it more accessible to younger audiences which has significantly lowered the quality of the writing. this is a game about demons !! they are not child friendly and they don’t need to be written as such. a game about dating and romancing demons is a kids game now.

i want to express very sincerely that i absolutely adore obey me. i have for the past four years. (you should see my collection of luci merch LOL). it’s the first franchise i have devoted myself to so strongly. i just really hate s*lmare and how they keep getting greedier while offering NOTHING to fans but lukewarm content and constant money pandering. this franchise means a lot to me, and i know that rings true for most of the players, and it hurts to see it going down the drain like this considering it is so special to me. i love this community (except when people are crying over misinterpreting criticisms against s*lmare/devs as personal attacks) and i love what everybody creates. it’s all so so very special to me and it’s important that we all understand this. these games and franchise could be something so very special. it started out so different (in a good way!) than almost all other otomes i’ve played, but now it’s getting left in the dust because a multimillion dollar company is more worried about how to milk an extra $3.99 from their fans than they are making quality content that fans would be WILLING to pay for, instead of locking content behind paywalls.

i wish nightbringer was never a thing. the story they wanted to make could have easily been a 1-2 season arc in OG. but instead we were forced to essentially play the same game over again, just in a different setting and time, and pretty much be told that the time we’ve spent grinding and leveling up our cards and getting through all the battles in OG was wasted. all for a new game that nickels and dimes players while offering shit in return.

solmare was proven that they have no intention of being transparent with fans. that they only want to milk whatever money they can from us. it’s created a lot of distrust and aversion in the community. and believe me, after all this, and even after obey me is run through and isn’t a cash cow for them anymore, i’ll never play another fucking solmare game ever again.

❤︎ it’ll always be ‘one master to rule them all.’

#˗ˏˋ moody talks obey me ˊˎ˗ #literally fuck nightbringer #and fuck solmare #obey me #obey me satan #lucifer obey me #obey me mammon #obey me diavolo #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me solmare #obey me fandom #obey me! shall we date? #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me barbatos #obey me belphegor #obey me nightbringer

[chrollohearttags]

long winded ass post I contemplated not writing but did it anyways. read if you’d like or ignore lmao.

so I feel as though this kind of goes without saying but a lot has changed on tumblr and the vibe has shifted a lot, sadly, not for the better either :/ I thought about this for a while and although last week, I was not posting any new content due to the strike, I’ve decided to step away from writing in general after this month. I could sit here and go on a tangent about how it’s the ‘algorithm’ and ‘dying fandoms’ but to me, this boils down to the fact that I refuse to exhaust myself to be unappreciated + disrespected. That’s not to say I’m ungrateful to everyone who reblogs and comments on my works all the time because I am incredibly grateful! I love each of you and I look forward to reading your tags/thoughts. However, it’s not lost on me that the anime fandom in general is becoming shrouded in toxicity and many of us are being pushed away. We’re in an age where people are seen as content machines and not humans so others feel entitled to their art and feel no need to be kind, understanding or empathetic to that person’s feelings. I’m not wasting my time trying to teach people manners that they should’ve learned a long time ago. I refuse to share my craft with people like that. And to say the quietest part out loud: y’all don’t want black writers around, PERIOD. One scroll through the dash shows that much. As someone who’s written primarily for AOT (not changing btw) and specifically the black side of the fandom, it’s almost laughable at the extreme lengths that ppl have gone through to see it be erased. And I don’t mean getting fics hit with labels or reporting (that failed so they switched to plan B.) since I began back writing in 2020-21, it was obvious that it was the most popular among black girls and I remember ppl telling me to write for them. Hell, it’s the sole reason I even watched. Needless to say, I fell in love with the show and it holds a special place in my heart. However, I realized I didn’t need any of the original material. Not only that, in all the years I’ve been writing, it’s the first time I’ve seen so many black girls resonating and happy with a group of characters. It was the first and only time I’ve seen stories where I didn’t feel as though them being a black character was a hidden secret or toned down to appeal to others (no shade). It was in my face and proud, even if I didn’t personally resonate with the reader or concept of the story. It still felt good coming from a fandom where I was literally the ONLY black writer in it. Fast forward and I clearly see that now, it’s not welcomed. We could sit here and blame it on non-blk (yt) having the problems but that’s a load of bullshit and the only enemies we have are one another. It’s been other black writers who have littered the tags with discourse abt the same stupid topic to avoid new fics being seen. It’s been other black writers who have switched fandoms when they were no longer the ONLY ones bc coexisting is just too damn hard apparently. It’s been other black authors who have made it blatantly clear that they are only interested in seeing and creating stories that are palatable to other races so they won’t be perceived in a negative light or to be seen as one of the ‘good ones’. Even down to not using black reader tags or avoiding coded language. So much so, they are comfortable laughing at anti-black rhetoric being pushed on other apps so as long as their new favs are not the brunt of the joke.

I’m not here to tell anybody how or what to write. I’m not here to say you ONLY have to like one show but what I am saying is that i will NOT be spending hours and days agonizing over a fic for it to be minimized to a joke for a bitch on TikTok. I will not spend the little free time I have trying to crunch and finish a fic for it not do well but watch y’all pile in my mentions to argue over nonsense. And I won’t sit here and watch y’all purposely try to run other black writers away bc they don’t fit ur aesthetic. Fiction is fiction and whether you resonate with it or not, it’s expression. I’m a boring ass country bumpkin from the middle of nowhere, Florida who’s got social anxiety, chronically ill, neurodivergent and is in bed by 10:00. I don’t smoke, never had sex and I literally never leave the house unless I’m grocery shopping. I never have and never will live the life of any of my characters, even the most tame ones. But I write for EVERY black girl and want everyone of them to be seen. The one space where that seems to be allowed is obviously not welcomed anymore. Arguing and trying to defend ourselves against people who are committed to misunderstanding us is pointless. Minimizing us down to ‘baby mama’, ‘hoodrat’ fics, simply bc you no longer like certain characters (many of which you all were writing for not too long ago) is quite frankly clown and coon ass behavior. Watching y’all become enraged by tropes that are used by ever race, every fandom, etc but turning the blind eye bc it suits ur narrative is fucking hypocritical and laughable at best.

I’m not insecure in my writing. Never have been and never will be. I know I pour everything I have into creating the best work I can and it’s for that reason that I won’t allow it to be treated like trash. I have over 250 drafts in my Google docs and best believe, that’s where they’ll stay until I see fit. Although I know it’ll probably mean leaving the last place I have any sense of community and social interaction in general, it’s not worth coming on here angry everyday in defense mode. Its not worth getting out of my character over and I rather just not be around if it means I have to play mean girl. My mind may change and all of this will just have been me getting shit off my chest but as of right now, this account will be archived come February 28th. Thank you to everybody who’s supported me this far and gave me a safe space. I love all of you so very much and hope that we can enjoy the rest of this month together 🫶🏾 🤍

#cherry chats 🍒 #tw rant #tw discourse #tw long post #happy black history month lmao #writing #fanfic writer

[star-anise]

now, hold still—

I'd kill for some resources on body image in the context of disability, chronic pain, and having grown up with a complicated and intense medical history. I think I've exhausted my local library's offerings. Yes, I'm seeing a counsellor who focuses on this, and he's probably got recs, but I'm pacing my cage and lashing my tail in between sessions.

"Body image" has a particular connotation most of the time, because it comes out of the field that deals with eating disorders. Which is great and I'm glad for the people it works for, but its basic principles and assumptions are for completely different problems than the one I have.

I can't track down who said it first, but in my reading I keep coming across this narrative of, "I saw my body as something to be disciplined and controlled, an object only seen by external eyes. Now I've learned to take joy in what my body can do and experience, and to see it as a site of pleasure."

...Sounds fake, but okay.

My body is a site of pain. It cannot do or bear the experience of many things. I have to exercise a huge amount of discipline and control just to get out of bed every day. I can't imagine my body being a visible object that other people might find pleasing; it's incredibly hard to look up from my continual tooth-and-nail fight getting my body to let me live to imagine what someone who doesn't live with all this shit might see.

When I was a child, I learned to hold myself very still. For a hairdresser, or photographer, or a dentist, or someone who wanted to measure my height, or an injection, or a doctor who wanted a demonstration of how one of my joints looked, or an X-ray, or an IV inserted, or a CAT scan, or to have a cast taken off, or a PET scan, or to have a wound treated, or an MRI, or to have a pin pulled out.

And you know, I got proud of that. I felt like a brave warrior in a fantasy novel. I learned to take deep breaths, and take myself in my mind away from the anxiety and unpleasantness, until I could shut down my reaction to it. So that I didn't flinch or scream or cry. Because there was something wrong with my body, and doctors knew how to fix it.

When I was getting assessed for fibromyalgia, this new doctor told me he was going palpate areas in my back, arms, and knees. I get a lot of massage; I knew what was coming. I slowed my breathing, concentrating on the long outbreath. I took myself away from my reactions and thought continually, obsessively, about letting my body droop, weightless, like the moment when your aching limbs meet a solid surface and fresh cool sheets.

"Hm, I dunno," he said. "A lot of this checks out, but your trigger point exam was totally negative. Most people, when I touch those points, they have a big reaction. Some people even scream and jump off the table."

"Well, no," I think I said. "If I'd done that, it would have hurt way more, for like, hours." And I was polite about it, because you have to be polite to doctors; doctors know how to make you feel better. But what I felt at the time, and still feel today, is a kind of outrage I labelled was unreasonable the moment it was born: You wanted to hurt me, and it's my fault for not letting you?

How do you learn how to ask for things, when you've taught yourself to lie still and cry quietly because the nurse who said they'd be right back is helping someone who suddenly needs the help more? How do you express yourself, when you've spent your whole life gritting your teeth?

The problems I have about my body are not about being attractive or thin. They are, however, about being small. Learning to cry less, scream less, and ask for less. About feeling like my body is a burden to anyone who comes to know it, and like that's a burden I can't ask other people to take on unless I'm staggering under the weight of it.

Right now, what I've got is this:

Remember, you weren’t the one who made you ashamed, but you are the one who can make you proud. Just practice, practice until you get proud, and once you are proud, keep practicing so you won’t forget. You get proud by practicing.

#staranise original #chronic pain lyfe #gore tw

[emmyspov]

Prioritise yourself (Thranduil x Reader)

author's note: happy easter to everyone who celebrates it and a happy weekend to all either way🪻this is honestly one of the most scary things i've posted because it's something so personal that i relate to a lot, but i thought maybe someone else might need it, too🥺 please always remember that nothing will ever be more important than your health and well-being 🩷

warnings: symptoms of burnout, lack of sleep, exhaustion, negative self-talk, skipping meals, mentions of food, nudity (for taking a bath together) - please please please let me know if I forgot something! 🩷

word count: 1.9k

edit is mine, all pics are from pinterest :)

It had seemed like a smart idea when you offered Thranduil to help him with all the paperwork.

His days were filled with meetings and more often than not he only returned to your chambers once it was dark already.

So, for the past few months, you had been - more or less secretly - helping him with whatever you could: sending out invitations to other royals, filing away documents, re-writing contracts so all that would be left to do was sign them.

You were the king's partner after all and you wanted to help him as much as possible. This was your kingdom, your home, as much as it was his, as he regularly reminded you.

Thranduil noticed, obviously. The hours in his study were reduced since most things were taken care of in a perfect way already - he could return to your private rooms right after dinner and spend time with you instead which the Elvenking appreciated immensely.

However, over the past few weeks, things have taken a turn. And Thranduil noticed that, too.

How, on some days, you would get up earlier than him, how you would skip lunch and dinner with him - although it was one of your favorite things since you got to spend it with one another during your otherwise busy schedules - and instead eat by yourself, hunched over some papers. He noticed your tired eyes and dull skin and- lack happiness, to cut it short.

Worry didn't even remotely describe what he was feeling. He felt sick to his stomach when he thought about you being unhappy.

Today was no different.

You had gotten up before sunrise, leaving your husband a little love letter, before entering your own study to take care of all official things.

There was a lot to do. Other elves as much as people from Laketown and even dwarves were sending letters, hoping to schedule a meeting with the king himself to talk over whatever was bothering them.

You made it your mission to answer every single one of them, noting down appointments and also sending out excuses if Thranduil wasn't the right one to talk to when it came to certain matters.

By the end of the day, your head was pounding. You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, hoping to relieve some of the pressure behind them, but to no use.

Closing them for only a minute wouldn't hurt. You could still look for your husband afterwards.

A line had been crossed for the Elvenking.

It was the second day in a row that you skipped your shared meals and from what he just learned, you weren't eating them at all.

He needed to talk to you. He wouldn’t - and couldn’t - let you destroy yourself over some work. Your happiness and well being came first and he would make you realise that, no matter the cost.

After reaching your study and receiving no answer to his knocks, he let himself in with determined steps, only to stop abruptly as soon as he saw your sleeping figure. His eyes softened immediately.

"Oh, meleth."

With two big steps, he was by your side, crouching down until he was on eye level with you. Even in your sleep, you looked stressed, your eyebrows scrunched up, reminding him of the times you woke up from a bad dream.

"What are you doing to yourself, hm?"

Gentle, as if you would break like glass if he touched you with too much force, he picked you up and carried you out of the room and into your shared bed chamber where he set you down on the soft mattress and covered you with a fluffy blanket.

Thranduil left the room again for only a few moments so he could blow out the candle in your study and put everything where it belonged. He himself hated to work at a messy desk and didn't want you to deal with the same thing once you would return to work, although he didn't want to think about that yet. For now, you needed rest and all the love and care you could get.

He returned to your bedroom after he spoke to some of his subordinates to let them know neither he nor you would be available in the next three days.

You were still fast asleep, curled up into the blanket. The king walked over to you and slowly began to remove all your uncomfortable clothing before he himself put on a night gown.

Only then did he lay down next to you, carefully maneuvering your body into his arms, your head on his chest. Even in your sleep you wrapped your arm around his waist and entangled your legs, letting out a small sigh.

"Sleep, meleth, you've been working too hard", your husband whispered and brought his delicate fingertips up to brush some hair out of your face before letting them trail down to your back, rubbing some calming circles into your shoulder. "I'll watch over you, I promise."

And Thranduil kept his word.

He stayed up to make sure you slept through the night, occasionally pressing a kiss to your temple or the top of your head while his fingers were always touching you in some way.

It was nearly lunch time when you woke up the next day.

After noticing you were still cuddled up with your husband although the sun was already shining into the room, you immediately sat up.

"I- I overslept, oh Varda, there is so much to do. Why didn’t you wake me, my love?"

With a gentle force, Thranduil pressed you back onto the mattress.

"You've been overworking yourself for weeks and your health and happiness are suffering in return. I told everyone we wouldn't be available for the next few days. For the foreseeable future, we'll only take care of you."

You didn't want to cry. And you tried really hard to keep the tears at bay, but when the Elvenking looked at you with so much love in his eyes, you couldn’t stop them.

"I'm sorry for failing you, my king."

The elf wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. "Oh meleth, no. No, you didn't fail me, you never have. And you never will."

"I can't even take care of myself", you hiccuped, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "It's like the work and the pressure never stop and I'll never be good enough and now I am sitting here, crying to you, a literal king who has way more responsibility than me. I am so sorry to burden you with this."

Thranduil's heart was breaking. He couldn't believe this was how you saw yourself when, to him, you were the most beautiful being in all of Middle Earth.

"You are never a burden to me. Do you hear me? Never. We can fix this. You have to learn how to prioritise yourself. I can teach you. I will teach you. And we will start right now. You must be hungry, what do you want to eat?"

You fumbled around with your hands before looking up at the Elvenking. "Could I have some pancakes?"

Thranduil leaned forward to press a kiss against your nose. "Whatever you want, meleth nîn."

With one swift motion, he got up, put on one of his majestic robes and made his way to the kitchen to order your beloved pancakes and some additional treats as well as some hot and cold beverages.

He returned to your chambers with a first tray of food, watching your face lit up with delight at the sweet smell.

"Here you go, my love. Eat as much as you want and take all the time you need. There are no other things that need to get done today or the next few days."

You nodded and grabbed a plate, happily munching on the food the servants were bringing in over time.

The king was watching you carefully while he himself ate something. It was more than obvious that all the food was good for your mind, body and soul.

You let yourself fall back against the sheets when you were done, letting out a satisfied sigh. "That was good."

"It is about to get better. What do you think of a bath?"

Your eyes lit up. "Right now?"

The elf couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Is that what you want?"

You sat up, enthusiastically bouncing on the mattress and nodding your head. "Yes, please!"

Thranduil stood up again and walked into the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water and your favourite bath salts and flower petals before coming back to you.

With ease, he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the bed, carrying you into the bathroom.

"Arms up", he ordered gently and removed your clothing, doing the same to himself afterwards.

"You're so handsome", you breathed out as you softly pressed your hand against his chest, right above his heart. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Thranduil's heart started to beat faster under your touch and praise and you smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach at the fact that you still had this effect on him.

He lifted you into the tub, setting you down and lowering himself behind you, pulling your body flush against his chest.

"I'm the lucky one."

You shook your head before letting it fall back against his shoulder. "You take care of me when I can't do it myself."

The king's deft fingers brushed through your hair, letting them trail down your arm. "We take care of each other. You are the one who decreased my work load so I'd have more time."

You intertwined your hands. "Well, of course. I want you to be well."

A kiss was pressed against the top of your head. "Do you see my point?"

You nodded. "I think I do."

Thranduil let his thumb brush over the back of your hand. "Tomorrow, we can take a walk in the garden and look at all the blossoming flowers. Or we can do whatever else will make you happy."

A smile graced your lips. "Just being with you makes me happy."

Gently, the ellon grabbed your chin and turned your head around so he could kiss you. You melted into his embrace, smiling against his lips.

"Gi melin", he whispered after you two had parted for air and you replied with the same sentiment.

Once you two had soaked in the water for a while, the Elvenking grabbed your shampoo and lathered up his hands before bringing them up to your scalp to work in the product.

The more time you spend like this with your husband - in your little bubble of happiness and safety - the lighter your heart felt.

And it only got better when Thranduil's hands wandered down your head to your neck and shoulders, massaging your tense muscles to help you relax even further.

You shuddered and the king grinned to himself. He was just as pleased as you were earlier that his touch could, still, make you weak in the knees.

"Rest, meleth", he whispered as he continued to work on your upper back. "There will be time to talk about long-term adjustments and solutions, but for now, you can let yourself fall. I'll be there to catch you."

Everything-Taglist: @shadowhuntyi @asgardianhobbit98 @fizzyxcustard

-> if you want to be added or removed from my taglist, just shoot me a message or an ask 🩷

#thranduil #thranduil x reader #thranduil x you #thranduil x y/n #thranduil imagine #elvenking #king of the woodland realm #the hobbit #the hobbit imagine #tolkien #elves #mirkwood #reader insert #please don't hate me for writing him ooc #and for making grammar and spelling mistakes #god why am i so nervous to post this #i'll probably throw my phone away after clicking post now

[haddonfieldwhore]

right here - matthew tkachuk

matthew tkachuk x reader

hands to myself part 2 - part 1 is here <3

summary: after all the years of friendship, matthew is the only one you can’t hide things from

warnings: big angst, mention of injuries, language, one use of y/n

word count: 2.5k words

physically, you were currently out to dinner with your best friend matthew, as well as nick cousins and his wife nina, sam bennett, carter verhaeghe, and sasha barkov on the panthers day off. mentally however, you were elsewhere, your mind hung up on something you had read in the comments of a youtube video you had stumbled upon earlier that day.

‘too bad he only broke his sternum and not his neck. maybe we wouldn’t have to watch him play”

you were watching some of matty’s highlights as you often did, and you tried, you really tried to stay out of the comment sections, as you knew he wasn’t the most popular guy among non panthers fans. you were used to negativity directed at him, and despite your best efforts to not let the opinions of internet assholes get under your skin, they burrowed their way underneath it like a tick. what made comments like this sting even worse, was the amount of people underneath them that agreed, celebrating and enjoying the fact that he got hurt. you read through countless comments wishing more harm upon the curly haired boy who was currently sat next you you, until you felt like you were drowning reading it all.

“hey, you good?” matt whispered in your ear, and you were pulled back into the present by the feeling of his hand on your thigh under the table. no one else seemed to notice that you had zoned out, completely absent from the conversation happening at the table. but matthew knew you too well, you had been friends for so long, there was nothing you could hide from him.

“yeah, sorry - just tired,” you lied anyway, and he didn’t press the subject any further, but the continued presence of his touch on your leg told you without words that the conversation wasn’t over.

•

you were back at your hotel room alone, excusing yourself from the after-dinner party at verhaeghe’s hotel room with the excuse of a headache. you had a long shower, hoping the hot water would wash away some of the bad feelings, but they remained like a stain on a white carpet, impossible to scrub out. after your eyes began to turn red from the heat, you finally stepped out and wrapped a soft towel around your body, like a security blanket, before drying off and getting dressed, throwing one of matthews t-shirts over your torso along with some pyjama shorts. wiping your eyes with a cool cloth to try and lessen the puffiness, you sighed as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, feeling mentally and physically exhausted. switching off the light you walked out of the bathroom and were almost at the bed when there was a knock at the door.

you considered ignoring it, you really did, but you knew who it would be, and while you didn’t want to talk about why you had acted so strange at dinner, your heart wanted to see him more than anything. there was in fact one thing you had managed to hide from matthew, that being the fact that your love for him had grown stronger than just a friendship, you felt - you knew - that he was your soulmate. whether he felt romantically for you or not, the two of you were meant to be next to each other for life.

you walked over and opened the door, to no surprise greeted by a familiar curly haired brunette.

“hey,” he said, walking into the room as you stepped to the side to let him past.

“hey - i was just heading to bed,” you said, and it wasn’t really a lie; you had planned to spend the rest of the night curled up under the safety of the slightly itchy duvet that covered the hotel bed. “i thought you were hanging out with the guys?”

“i stayed for a bit, but i wanted to check on you,” he explained, sitting in the leather arm chair in the corner of the room.

“well, there’s not really anything exciting going on here. you should go back,“ you suggested, unable to look at him while you knew you were ignoring the reason you knew he was here. instead, you readjusted the blanket and pillows on the bed about three times, before he spoke up.

“what happened at dinner?” he asked, and you closed your eyes, still not daring to face him.

“nothing happened at dinner,” you said, another not-lie, but not the answer he wanted.

“then what happened before that made you so upset?” he asked. “y/n, please look at me.”

“i told you - i was just tired. which is why i’m trying to go to sleep,” you insisted, turning around and looking at him quickly before your eyes fell to the floor.

“you didn’t wake up until 11 this morning, how are you tired?”

“jet lag-“ you shrugged, but he interrupted you.

“that’s bullshit and we both know it,” he spoke, but didn’t raise his voice. “please don’t shut me out. i know everything about you, you can tell me - whatever it is.” you looked up to meet his eyes that you could feel staring a hole into you, as you thought to yourself: almost everything.

the worried look in his face, his brows tilted above his blue eyes, made your own eyes fill with tears as everything you had bottled up bubbled up your throat like a cork popped off a bottle of champagne.

“i just - it’s stupid and i’m sorry for getting so upset but i -“ you were unable to stop the tears that fell down your face in salty little waterfalls as you fingers gripped the hem of your (his) shirt. “the things people say about you - i don’t understand how people can be so cruel. i know i shouldn’t care and what they say doesn’t matter but it hurts, matty. it kills me that people wish you would get hurt, or worse, and there’s nothing i can do about it,” you sobbed.

you hadn’t even realized that you had walked over to him until you were crawling into his lap, his arms pulling you close to him, a literal shoulder to cry on as he rubbed your back comfortingly. relief to be safe in his arms flooded over you, but the tears wouldn’t stop, your body shaking as you held into him like he would disappear if you let go.

“baby, just breathe okay? i’m right here; i’m okay,” he whispered. “did someone say something to you? because i swear if they did, i’ll-“

“no,” you sniffled, trying to calm yourself and for the love of god, stop crying. the fabric of his shirt was damp as you lifted your head up to look at him, his eyes filled with concern. if you weren’t such a mess, your heart would have skipped a beat at the nickname, but you couldn’t even think straight.

“what happened?”

“i know i shouldn’t, and i didn’t mean to, but i saw some comments online talking about how they wished you would get hurt again or worse and i just - i can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. i know the risk of getting hurt comes with the game, but the things they were saying they wish would happen to you were so horrible matty,” you shuddered as the tears began to fall again, and he rested his forehead against yours, his hand sliding up your back to cradle the back of your head.

“i’m right here, i’m okay. nothing is going to happen to me, i promise,” he said softly, but you pulled back, shaking your head.

“don’t promise me that when you don’t know if you can keep it,” you begged. “i know you’re trying to make me feel better but you can’t guarantee that. i love you matty, i can’t lose you.”

“okay, i can’t promise that i won’t get hurt, because you’re right; it could happen. but i swear, i will always be right here. you won’t ever lose me,” he assured you. “and i love you too.”

just like the tears that flowed freely, so did the next words you spoke, unable to stop yourself.

“matthew, i am in love with you. i would do anything to keep you safe.” your heart pounded like a drum against your ribcage as he stared at you, processing what you had said.

“you’re in love with me?” he asked, looking for confirmation.

“i am. and it’s okay, if you don’t feel the same way, it doesn’t have to change anything, i just can’t carry it around without telling you anymore-“ you were interrupted by his lips on yours, so softly you almost thought you imagined it, like he was scared he would break you if he kissed you too hard. as quickly as it happened he pulled away, the salty taste of your tears staining his lips, and your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him with wide eyes, the tears finally stopping.

“you love me,” he whispered, the new weight of the words sounding foreign but welcome to his ears.

“i love you,” you agreed, and he smiled, and your hands played with the fabric of his sweater nervously.

“i love you so much,” he breathed, and your heart felt like it was going to explode, the enormous weight lifted off your shoulders making you feel like you were floating. he removed his arms from around your back only to bring his hands up your face, wiping the tears from under your tired eyes with the pads of his thumbs.

“you do?” you asked, hoping this wasn’t some sick joke, but knowing that matthew would never hurt you like that.

“of course i do. how could i not, you’re everything to me,” he leaned forward and kissed your forehead softly, and you laughed softly, half in relief and half in shock. he loves me back, you thought, butterflies erupting in your stomach. “there’s the sound i want to hear,” he smiled, relieved to hear laughter instead of tears, as he hugged you right to his chest again.

“i didn’t know if you felt the same,” you mumbled, your voice muffled by his hoodie as your face was buried in the crook of his neck.

“i didn’t know if you did,” he countered, and you breathed deeply, inhaling his scent, one that always seemed to calm you down. “baby, i’m sorry you had to read that shit,” he said softly. “i know it’s hard, but try not to let it get to you-“

“but it does-“

“i know, i know it does. it gets to me too sometimes. but try; for me, okay? i hate seeing you upset like this, especially over what some nobody-asshole said online.”

“okay,” you took another deep breath. “i’ll try, i promise.” if you had to throw your phone in the ocean to keep that promise, you would.

“thank you. let me get you some water, you’re probably dehydrated from crying so much-“ he went to get up, but you clung to him like a koala, keeping him firmly planted in the chair.

“please, just.. hold me for a little longer first?” you begged shamelessly, and his body shook slightly as he laughed.

“anything you want.”

•

after some water and a selection of your favourite snacks that matthew had grabbed from the vending machine, as well as a good night sleep cuddled next to him, you felt infinitely better in the morning. you and matthew had slept in pretty late, and only had had to leave soon so he could be at the arena on time for practice.

“so - i know it’s kind of- idk - are we still just friends, or…” you asked as the two of you got dressed, matthew conveniently able to grab one of many shirts of his you has stolen from your suitcase. he walked over to you, his hands resting on your waist as he looked at your lips, before his eyes met yours.

“is that what you want?” he raised an eyebrow, and you shook your head. “good. then you’re mine,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss you. your hands tangled through his curls as you deepened the kiss. there was a smile on both of your faces when you separated, unable to break the eye contact as you silently told eachother just how long you’d been waiting to share that kiss.

“and you’re mine.”

“of course i am.”

“do we tell anyone yet?” you asked, okay with either answer, just wanting to be sure.

“we can tell anyone you want,” he smiled, kissing your lips one more time before sliding his shoes on. “but right now i’m late for practice, and i kinda want you there, you are my good luck charm after all.”

“i’ve been at plenty of games where you guys lose,” you laughed, following him out into the hallway.

“yeah, well maybe i just want you there,” he admitted, lacing his fingers through yours as you walked side by side. you leaned your head against matthew’s shoulder, and he placed a kiss on the top of your head.

nick and nina were following you towards the elevator when the blonde gave her husband a knowing glance, nudging him in the ribs lightly as she pointed to your interlocked hands.

“hey,” you greeted them happily as the joined you outside the elevator, waiting as it came up to your floor.

“hey you two. you seemed a little down at dinner last night, is everything okay?” nina asked, and you nodded.

“yeah, sorry, i just wasn’t feeling great. but i’m okay now,” the smile was stuck on your face as matthew squeezed your hand. nick sent him a sideways glance, before looking down at your hands and back up at matthew, who sent him a wink.

“she called it,” nick laughed, and you jumped slightly as nina let out a excited gasp.

“wait really! i told you they were in love!” she bumped her shoulder against nicks playfully as he raised his hands in surrender.

“why do i have a strange feeling we were the last to know?” matthew laughed, but it didn’t matter. even if it had taken a while, you had finally figured it out.

“was it really that obvious?” you asked, and the four of you laughed as nina and nick both nodded.

“yeah, but it was kind of cute, watching you both be so oblivious all this time,” she added. you looked up at matt, who was already looking down at you, and he pulled you into a hug, his chin resting on top of your head. you smiled to yourself, unsure of how you had gone from being so miserable to so happy in a span of 12 hours, but quickly realized that the reason was standing right next to you; and he wasn’t going anywhere.

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

#matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk #florida panthers #nhl imagine #nhl players #nhl fic #nhl #nhl hockey #real person fiction #hockey fic #hockey

[pablitogavii]

Holaa, can you write about a scenario where the reader makes a diy bracelet for Gavi using beads in his favorite color and with his initial too, as a gift. Gavi really likes it and wears it all the time, and the reader is so happy. However, one day when Gavi is at an international match, the reader sees one of Gavi's teammate's Instagram stories and notices that Gavi is no longer wearing the bracelet. This makes the reader feel hurt and they start to think a lot of negative thoughts. :((

Actually, the reason why Gavi doesn't wear the bracelet anymore is because one of his teammates accidentally pulled it during practice, causing it to break. Gavi tried to fix it himself, but was unable to do so. When Gavi returned home, they tried to make it up to each other. I prefer a lot of fluff after, thank you so much anyway! Te amo 🩷

"Um..I have something for you Pabs.." you said when he sat down on your couch having just came back from the national team training session absolutely exhausted.

He asked you to fly out and spent his days with him in Madrid while he practices for his first national game and you agreed really missing your best friend in the past few months.

"What's that princesa?" he said using the usual nickname but ever since your crush intensified as you grew older, you started reacting a lot more to it.

"It's for good luck on the nationals..do you like it?" you said putting it around his wrist and he smiled looking at your adorable blushed face. Pablo secretly had a crush on you as well but he didn't want to complicate our life by ever admitting it. Truth be told, he doesn't feel like he deserves you...not with all the negativity people label him as.

"It's pretty. Gracias princesa! I'm always going to wear it!" he said playing with the beads while you looked at him dreamily. He looked so beautiful without trying that you found your eyes focusing on his lips for a little too long.

"Everything okay? Do I have something on my face?" Pablo teased and you looked away shyly shaking your head and continuing to watch the movie on the TV screen.

Since you gave it to him, Pablo really wore it non-stop and started to believe that it was really a lucky charm because he never played better. During trainings he would get praises by coaches, and during games he would never be more efficient and get less yellow cards.

Whenever he would get angry, after being provoked, he would look at his wrist and take a few deep breaths before continuing the game without getting in trouble. Your face would pop into his head and he didn't want you to watch him get in trouble no matter where you were in that moment.

One day during the training, Ansu jumped on his back making him loose balance falling and pulling on his bracelet breaking it in process. Pablo almost cried while collecting the beads packing them up and putting them all into his wallet.

He wasn't home since then, so he couldn't ask you to fix it for him and had to play the next game without it. He was never feeling more nervous feeling like he lost his luck charm. This won't be good..

"What's up with you Gavi?" Ansu asked seeing his friend shaky and anxious standing in the corner alone while the rest of the team chatted like usual before heading to the pitch.

"Your fault cabrón! I don't have my good luck charm now!" Pablo said and his friend rolled his eyes already having apologized thousand times for pushing him and breaking his bracelet.

"Who gave it to you when it's so special?" Ansu teased not thinking that it was anybody in particular but when he saw Pablo's cheeks blush he knew that he poked the right spot.

"Wait! Did Gavi finally get tamed by a girl?? Who is she hermano??" Ansu said and Pablo talked about your long friendship since school and how you've always been there, through everything never leaving his side. Ansu could tell that what Pablo felt for you was something special..something more than simple attraction he had for other girls since the fame arrived.

During the same time, one of Pablo's teammates took a video and posted on his story catching he glimpse of Gavi and Ansu talking. What caught your eye tho is that there was no bracelet on Pablo's wrist..you thought it was because he was still wearing long sleeves?

When he came out on pitch, you realized that he really was not wearing the bracelet..why would he take it off?

You thought about all the recent rumors about him and this other girl from Sevilla who kept hinting their relation and in return gain quite a fame. But Pablo said she is a fame chaser and that he was never with her..maybe he lied? Maybe he found someone else?

Your heart was braking as your eyes kept checking on his wrist hoping that the bracelet would suddenly appear but it never did. Did you really think he would end up with someone like you? you thought to yourself feeling like you wanted to cry.

Close to the end of the game, Spain was still winning but Pablo didn't seem to play as well as he did in the past games. He looked like he was lost on the pitch and he was also easily agitated. In 90th minute someone slid down collecting Pablo's legs and hurting him badly in response.

You gasped moving closer to the screen while they tended to his wounds and carried him off the pitch. You were so worried texting Aurora to see if they had any information. Thankfully it wasn't permanent damage but he will need to miss the next match so he is coming back home.

alejandrobalde

Come back stronger hermano! @pablogavi

liked by 50K others

Comments:

pablogavi: gracias hermano! coming back with my lucky charm ;)

alejandrobalde: we're waiting for you!!

sefutbol: waiting for the Golden Boy! <3

aurorapaezg: proud of you hermanito! <33

pablogavi: <3

pedri: get your but back to the pitch quickly cabrón!! jajaja

pablogavi: look who's talking jajaja only you can cover my position so get to it!!

ansufati: get that luck back ;)

pablogavi: !!

Pablo was partly happy that he was going back home, that was he can get his lucky bracelet fixed and see you while he was there. He really missed your adorable face..

When he came home, you weren't staying with his family like you said you would and Aurora told him that you've left a few days ago..same time he stopped wearing the bracelet. He knew that you must have seen it and he wished that he texted you about to so you don't make assumptions. Mierda Pablito! You're so stupid sometimes!

pablitoo: are you home princesa??

amotcito: i'm not, sorry

pablitoo: don't lie to me. i see you through the window!

You looked through the window smiling involuntarily when you saw that he was indeed standing down there looking up at you while holding his phone.

"What do you want?" you asked through the window

"Let me in princesa" he said pointing at the door and you sighed nodding your head and letting him through nervously waiting for him to arrive to your apartment. He knocked and you opened saddened when you saw his leg being wrapped in gauze.

"Hola princesa.." he said

"Hola.." you moved so he can come in letting him sit down on your couch asking if he needed anything but he shook his head opening his arms signaling that all he wanted was a hug.

"I don't know if we should do that now.." you said gulping using last bits of your strength not to hug after missing him for a whole month.

"What's different now?" he asked and you blushed looking away which made him curious what you were thinking about.

"Um..you have a girl don't you?" you said and he sat up quickly raising his eyebrows wondering where did you get such nonsense from.

"What!? Who told you that?" Pablo said and you met his eyes again wondering if you really assumed everything wrong. But if he wasn't with another girl, why would he take a bracelet off so suddenly??

"Um..you took the bracelet off so I thought.."and Pablo chuckled grabbing your hand and pulling you closer before you were sitting besides him and he pulled you into a hug.

"You're so cute when you make up scenarios like this princesa..but no I don't have a girl..and I did not take the bracelet off" Pablo spoke as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

"But you weren't wearing it on the last game?" you said as he pulled out his walled opening it and reveling the beads inside.

"Ansu jumped on me and I broke it..I couldn't fix it on my own and you weren't there to do it..so I had to save it here until I came back home and let you fix it for me" Pablo explained and you blushed feeling so silly for assuming something so quickly and telling him about it too. Now he must think you were jealous..which wasn't far from the truth..but still..he was just your friend!!!

"I feel so stupid now.." you admit and he raised up your chin making your heart jump in your chest while you looked into each others eyes.

"Don't feel stupid princesita..I think it's cute how you were worried some other girl will take me away from you..but that could never happen" he whispered the last part before finally placing his lips onto yours softly.

When he pulled away you face was bright red and you were in utter shock. Did..did he just kiss you? So he felt the same for you!?

"Would you be a good girl and fix it for me princesa?? I really need my lucky charm back.." he smirked when he saw how stunned you looked and you looked down at the beads nodding and taking his walled form his hands.

Before you could get up to grab what you needed to fix in his hand grabbed your chin again and pecked your lips like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

"Um here you go Pabs.." you put it back around his hand when it was fixed and he smiled playing with the beads before looking back at you like he expected something else. You knew what he expected but you were too nervous to do it..it was still so fresh and you've been crushing at him for years.

"Come here..I won't bite" he pulled you closer kissing you a few times and you smiled into the kiss finally relaxing into the kisses "unless you beg me to princesa.." he whispered into your lips and you swore you could die in that exact moment.

"Pablo!!" you said hiding your hot face into his neck and he chuckled at how easily you get embarrassed kissing the top of your head and holding you tightly against him.

"I don't just need the bracelet for luck..I need you princesa..so be my girl..and come with me to the next game?" he said and you were so happy you could scream but instead you kissed him passionately letting go off all your nerves.

"Yes! Yes!" you said and he chuckled nodding his head and kissing you back sweetly before pulling you closer and letting you rest your head on his chest while he played with your hair. He was content..you were finally his..he had his lucky bracelet back..and he was ready to win this national league with you by his side!

pablogavi

My luck is back <3 @y.n.bebe

liked by 100K

Comments:

gavigavigavira: wait!!!? girlfriend!???

gavipablo: she is his old friend..that's so cute <33. liked by 12K other

pedri: what!?? lucky cabrón ;)

pablogavi: yeahhh ;)

ansufait: glad luck is back hermano!

pablogavi: she is backkk!!

y.n.bebe: hehe <33 liked by pablogavi

alejandrobalde: vamooss españa!! you're girl is beutiful!

pablogavi: yeah MY girl is beautiful jaja liked by y.n.bebe

y.n.bebe: hehe good luck cariño <3

pablogavi: you're here amor..we are winning <33

y.n.bebe

My best friend..my campeon <3. @pablogavi

Liked by 50K others

Comments:

pablogavi amor <33 only won because of you!!

y.n.bebe: te amo cariño!! liked by pablogavi

gaviraaa: i might be sad that he is not single but I'm happy it's with someone who loves him for him and not for his fame <33

gavithebest: yeahh this girl has been his friend for years too

gaviraaa: they are so cute!! <33

aurorapaezg: lindooos! ahhh!

y.n.bebe: you always knew this would happen Rora jajaja

aurorapaezg: my hermanito is head over heels in love with you!!

pablogavi: Rora!!! That was a secret!!

belengavira79: take care of my boy princesa <3

y.n.bebe: promise <33

gavifanss: aweee my heart!! this is so adorable!!

It's longish but I enjoyed writing it A LOT! Hope you like it :)

#pablo gavi #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x you #fc barca #fc barcelona #fc barça #gavi #gavigif #gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #pablo gavira #gavi x reader #gavi x vini #gavi x yn #gavi x you #pablogavixreadersmut

[hughes86-43]

Nico prompt

“You had me! And you ruined it on your own,”

“you had me! and you ruined it on your own”

warnings - drinking issues, mention of negative thoughts, sad hurting nico

-

In your heart, you knew it was due to the constant stress and pressure of a heartbreaking season. He had people coming at him left and right telling him that he shouldn’t be captain, that he did nothing for the team. He had people coming after him accusing he was the reason for the devils not making the playoffs.

So even after a month of the hockey season being over for him, he still believed it. Still had it drilled into his mind that he was the reason. No matter, how much you told him that it wasn’t true and that those people didn’t matter, he would still go out to bars and drink his problems away, seemingly pushing you further away.

He would be out close to four nights a week drinking his problems away, and if he wasn’t going out to drink, he would be at home drinking. He didn’t care what state he was in, he just wanted all the negative thoughts about his career to go away. You continued to do your absolute best to comfort him and be there for him when he came home drunk, but honestly, it was tiring and you were exhausted. You loved Nico so much, and you hated to see him hurting, but you also had to think about your own self.

It was a tough situation overall.

You walked out of your shared bedroom to the sound of the front door opening, and you knew it had to be Nico. From the doorway, you see Jasper and Timo holding up their best friend, who is clearly drunk. You knew they were tired of this as well, so you just point to the couch to have them sit him there. They each give you a long-lasting hug and tell you to call them if you need them. You lock the door behind them and walk over to sit in the chair beside the couch Nico was on.

“Why are you sitting all the way over there?” Nico says spotting you not right next to him.

“I wanted to,” You say with a hint of unamused tone to your voice.

He looks up at you. “What’s wrong? I feel like I haven’t seen you much anymore.”

“I’ve been here the whole time, Nico.” Although, what you wanted to say was that he has been to drunk to notice you caring for his drunk self.

“Well, you need to do more then,” he says shrugging his shoulders and laying his head back on the couch.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “What do you mean do more?”

Not even looking at you, he replies, “I just feel like you’ve been pulling away from me, like I don’t really have you anymore.”

“Seriously, Nico?” The tone of your voice has him lifting his head again. “I’ve always been here, while you’ve been getting drunk off your ass every night. I’ve either been here when one of your friends brings you back or I’ve had to go get you! And you seriously have the audacity to say I need to do more when I’ve been doing plenty!”

Your words seem to sober him up a bit. “Babe-”

“No! Honestly, I’ve had enough, I’m so tired. I’ve been constantly helping you, and you haven’t once said thank you. I get you had a tough season and people have said things, but you have had the chance to redo it and change your mindset about it, but you haven’t at all!” You get up to stand to go grab your purse and keys.

“Where are you going?” Nico says behind you, trying to keep up with your movement.

“I don’t know, but I know that I just need to go somewhere that’s not here.”

“But what about us, are you just going to leave me?”

Sighing, you turn to him, your heartbreaking into pieces, but it’s what you had to do. “You had me! And you ruined it all on your own!”

“Wait, we can work on this, I’ll get better!” He reaches out to grab your hand, you let him.

Rubbing your thumb over his hand, you say softly, “Nico, we both need some time. I’m not saying we have to end this, but you need to find some help. You need to also talk to your friends, because I’m also not the only one who is tired from this. I love you endlessly, I do, but I just need some time, and you do as well.” You let go of his hand, walk out the door, and down to your car where you finally let out the tears that you’ve been trying to hold back.

#nico hischier fics #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier imagines #nico hischier #hockey imagines #hockey fics #nhlhockey fic #nhl imagines

[2kiran]

I read through your rules and i think my request should be fine but even so, please let me know if you don't wanna write it!

If you're still doing requests... can you write something for Price x male reader where Reader's a bit younger than him and he's never drank before ever. And he hides it to not seem like a loser or anything (lol) but when the team goes out drinking after a mission he gets served higher alcohol content bc they thought he'd be a heavy drinker?

No smut, just maybe hurt/comfort and fluff? Ignore this if you wouldn't like to <3

“DRUNK (NOT AGAIN)”

pairing john price x reader genre angst. fluff reader is a male. platonic / romantic cw lowercase typing. reader is 2+ years younger. descriptions of injuries. mentioned violence. team 141 included. insecurity. pet name ( love, towards reader ). drinking. tipsy reader. crying ( reader ). kissing & hugging ( receiving ). affectionate!price. hurt/comfort.

the mission was successful. the medevac helicopter was arriving soon, allowing time for a small discussion. minutes prior, it was havoc, alerting all of you. the enemy had set a trap, causing a few fuck-ups on your side. soap clutched at his side with a cloth, “aye cap, think we can go for some drinks ‘fter this?” he let out a pained grunt as he applied too much pressure. price sighed in response, opening a box in the deserted warehouse that had the equipment for a few stitches. “as long as you don’t pass out right now.”

gaz sent a wary glance at their way, dabbing a cotton that was soaked in antibiotic ointment on his slashes. ghost, on the other hand, only had a few small cuts. your own injuries were long forgotten as you registered their words. the problem with their agreement was that you’ve never drank, not even one sip. ever displaying a good image of yourself, you didn’t want to find out how you were when you’re drunk. alcoholic beverages has never been of your interest. being aware of the fact that people who were younger than you spent their precious time clubbing and drinking away their problems without a care made it worse. you didn’t want anyone to view you negatively for that, especially them. that included not telling a single soul and rejecting invitations to parties. you just didn’t want to be seen as a ‘kill joy’ when you tell them that you’ve never touched alcohol.

it meant avoiding questions from drunkards and lying when they’re pestering you too much. the constant ‘what if’s of being just average ate away at your brain. you didn’t want your team to see you as a good-for-nothing loser that they could easily discard at any given time. maybe if you left they—

“hey.” you didn’t respond.

“hey.” a few beats passed.

“look at me.” you blinked.

your vision focused, blurry gaze dissipating. you had dissociated. price stood in front of you, urging you to tilt your head to look up at him. the blinding lights hung on the ceiling, leaving prominent shadows across the room. the silhouette gracefully traced over his features. the both of you were in the infirmary, all patched up and wounds cleaned. left alone together, away from the others. “sorry. you were saying?” you asked, embarrassed warmth spreading across your cheeks. a ghost of a smile quirked from his cheeks, “are you okay?” his voice hoarse from exhaustion, “yeah, i’m good. are you?” slightly stumbling over your words as an ache from your side had you stilling. he nodded, eyes traveling over your form. usual sharp eyes softening as he continues to inspect you as if you were made of extra fragile porcelain, the look in his eyes as his attention lingers on you could be compared on how he stares at his precious hat far too long.

“we’re going to a bar. you joining, love?” a tentative question, which makes you ponder on answering. you hum in agreement, not wanting to ruin the moment.

maybe you should’ve rejected the offer like you always did. the bar was dim-lit, lights darting throughout the space, while slow, seductive music danced from the speakers. there were several people in the bar, including the bartenders. all harboring the same mysteriousness that you took for suspicion. it wasn’t quiet, booming laughter erupted from some, while the rest had their voice hushed in a whisper. most of them were drunk, you noted.

“finally.” soap dramatically sighed, stretching as he chooses a booth. “it’s really been that long?” gaz responded in a question to soap’s enthusiasm. surprisingly, ghost joined. he wasn’t going to drink for the sake of privacy, of course, the sergeants just managed to convince force him. the three sat close to each other while you and price were next to one another. it made you tingle in anticipation and fright. a waiter approached, and they all responded with ‘something heavy’. you gulped nervously, telling the man the same thing. every minute that passed had you fidgeting, beginning to bounce your leg up and down as you waited and waited and waited. you itched to tell them the truth, but you’ll only look like a coward. the others spoke about nonsense and such, while the captain’s attention was on you.

he was aware that something was wrong, but he couldn’t point his finger at what it could be. the impulsive side of his brain wanted to ask you directly, right here in front of the team. but he knew how closed off and irritable you could get in situations like these, so he rather keep his mouth shut.

the waiter arrived with your drinks on a tray, foam sizzling and a dented lemon on the rim of the glass. it whiffed of high worth, the house of the liquid appearing expensive itself. the stem was thinner than you originally thought it would be. it was appetizing, starting to understand why people spend their time on drinking this. however, you’ve heard of people’s first times, most stating that it tasted bitter in the beginning. the sergeants grabbed their drinks like starving animals, nearly spilling it on themselves. you examined their expression, their brow furrowed as they gulped down the first few sips before their face relaxed. “feeling drunk yet?” soap questioned, gaze directed at the captain. he began drinking too. seemingly unbothered by the alcoholic content. he pulled away from his glass, “could have this all day.”

“you gonna drink that?” his monotone voice suddenly placed it’s attention on you. responding with a ‘right’ before gripping the glass, copying the way they were holding it.

one taste couldn’t hurt, right? unknowingly, you did it a little too eagerly. “yeaaah! that’s the spirit.” soap cheered on and gaz let out a giggle at that. ghost’s focus was on scanning the room for suspicious activity that could possibly harm all of you. price thankfully wasn’t paying attention on you for once. you could definitely get used to not having to tolerate him stupidly looking at you like you wronged him. they downed their drinks and you followed suit. it was a rash decision, you soon learned, as your body began feeling warm. even the slightest of breathing you could hear. is it just you or is the music a lot louder than before?

the reality crashed down on you, it hit you like a truck. you were always awfully attempting to please others, but you’ve never thought if that’s what you truly wanted. you feel like a loser. drinking even though you knew you didn’t want to. unbeknownst to you, price took notice in the change of behavior. your eyes watering and lips trembling. everything felt too overwhelming, too loud, too bright, it was too much for you. barely mumbling a ‘i’m going to the restroom’ before you practically sprinted to the only place you could possibly find comfort. they didn’t seem to hear over their obnoxious argument about which weapon was superior and what sucked ass. price waited a few minutes, and then telling the group that he needed to use the toilet too. he noticed that you were stumbling in your footing, strange for someone who’s drank a lot more than this. you were only halfway through your drink before you seemed out of it. maybe it was because of how long your missions lasted your tolerance became a little skimpy. it was even weirder to him how you left the door ajar.

you couldn’t hold it in anymore, your tears began streaming down your cheeks. you despised this feeling. price carefully pushed the door, exposing your vulnerability to your captain. looking up at the mirror, you gasped. realizing your mistake in forgetting to lock the door. “love...” he began, eyes boring into yours in concern. striding towards you, he hugged you from behind. a staring contest made from the mirror. “what’s wrong?” you sniffed, trying to wipe away your tears but failing as more spilled, “i-i can’t— i’ve, i’ve never drank before and i-i wanted to impress you guys.” he stopped himself from immediately speaking about how you would be always perfect despite something so little as not drinking, “i d-didn’t tell you be-because,” a hiccup, “i tho-thought you’d see m-me as a lo...loser.” sobs wrecked through your being shamefully as you slurred your words.

“love.” he said firmly as you opened your mouth to apologize, preventing the words from escaping you. “the team and i would never belittle you.” he kisses your cheek, rubbing your sides to soothe you with his thumbs. “it’s not your fault, okay? don’t apologize.” another kiss, using his knuckle to wipe away stray tears, “don’t ever be afraid to speak up, love.”

you hiccuped more, guilt searing within. “stop feeling guilty about it. there’s no shame in that, others who think otherwise are just little shits. you’re better than them.” he kissed your jaw, ever showering you with affection in any way he was able to. he grabbed your hand, holding it to intertwine his fingers with yours. he tilted his head back up to kiss the trail of wetness on your cheek, hushing your weak sobs gently, “let’s go order some food, yeah? and we should get some water too to help the tipsiness. just let me know if you want to try drinking again so i can help you through it. c’mon, love.” a smile spreading across his cheeks as your eyes lit up in appreciation. he was happy that he had you as much as you were happy to have him. if soulmates existed, he was yours.

masterlist

#— azrael.worksᵎᵎ #➷ ┊antonio’s works ! #call of duty #price call of duty #cod mw price #cod price #john price #male reader #cod mw x reader #mw2 2022 #mw2 fanfic #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod angst #cod fluff #hurt/comfort #modern warfare fanfiction #modern warfare ii

[ilylovelyz]

I just need a very comfort sakusa story with a s/o struggling with s/h and su1c1d4l toughts and social anxiety

⍣ ೋ bittersweet symphony

˚ · . sakusa x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ depression, self harm, negative body image, social / general anxiety, angst, suicidal thoughts, sakusa is awkward, not dumb, bathing, angst with a happy ending

'cause it's a bittersweet symphony, thats life.

you hear the soft pattering of footsteps approaching. judging by the softness, you assume he's checking on you again.

sakusa had just returned from a long day of practice, one that was filled with thoughts about your concern and wellbeing. despite being sweaty and feeling immensely dirty, hungry, and almost exhausted, his first priority is to come to you.

he's careful not to startle you, making sure his footsteps aren't too loud or noisy.

despite hiding your face away from him, away from the world, you can still feel him kneel down to the floor next to you, his body weight resting on the front of his feet.

"hey," he softly says, his hand coming up to lay a comforting hand on top of your blanket clad back.

your back muscles instantly relax at his touch, the heaviness of his hand against your skin is almost oddly comforting to you.

he's almost sighing in relief when you don't fight him like you did this morning when the same hand is slowly pulling off the comforter off your body, revealing the distressed state that is you.

you're laying face down against the floor of the living room, it's a strange area you've chosen as your safe place, but he doesn't really seem to question it either. not that he wants to question you about it either, especially since you're in such a soft mental state at the moment.

"hey, how are you feeling..?" he asks again, his tone low and gentle. his hand comes up to pat the back of your head, his fingers intertwining with your tangled locks, twirling them around when he's noticed the built up oil.

you only hum a short response to him, too tired to say an actual word.

he sighs softly, his eyelids low as he wonders how to get you off the spot that is the dirty floor. you've been in a depressive state for awhile now, and while you've had your fair amounts of highs and lows, this is definitely the worst you've had in awhile.

he feels almost guilty and helpless as he wonders how to make you feel better. he thinks back to the night when you were having a mental breakdown because you thought you weren't enough, wondering if you should just end it all so that way everyone doesn't have to "deal" with you.

but sakusa can beg to differ.

sakusa understands. he's not an idiot, he's not one of those people who are on some stupid high horse and view those who simply have emotions as wimps. no, he's more than understanding.

while he's never had it as bad as you have it, but he can say that he's felt what you've been feeling before, and he knows that it's not the best feeling either.

and he knows these feelings of yours won't just disappear overnight, it takes time to heal.

and luckily for you, sakusa is a patient man. he won't stomp his feet with frustration when you turn down his offer of going on a walk with him, too embarrassed and scared of the thought of being seen by numerous people in your current state, nor will he scold you for not eating the food he made you because you just don't feel like eating.

no, he'll happily lift you up and carry you while he walks if he has to. he'll encourage you to eat, and small portion by portion, he'll make sure by the end of the day, your stomach is at least getting the nutrients and energy it needs.

"y/n," he calls out once more, a light bulb going off in his head as he gets an idea. he gets up and changes his position, sitting in front of you. he leans down ever so slightly, his hands gently encouraging you to look at him.

he's lightly smiling when you do, a soft glint in his eyes as he's proud of the little step you just took. to some, it's almost childish, to him, it's a blessing that you're wanting to lift your head up and look at him after being almost glued to the floor for the past two days.

the lover inside of him has him leaning down a little more to place a soft kiss onto your forehead, his hands still holding your jaw with the lightest pressure ever. "wanna take a bath with me? i bet it'll make you feel better. maybe make you feel more refreshed." he asks, removing one of his hands from your jaw so he can hold your hand.

when you softly shake your head positively at his request, he's shaking his head too, mumbling a little "yeah? yeah," as he wraps his arms around your waist, picking you up as if you were his child and carrying you to the bathroom.

he removes your clothes carefully, treating you as if you were fine china. the water is warm, set to your favorite temperature. he'll lead you into the bath, his hand guiding you into it so that way you don't slip.

"does it feel better?" he'll ask while washing your hair, his hands massaging the base of your scalp with a pressure that as you relaxing into him. he's almost prideful when you hum pleasingly at his touch, finding comfort that his attempts don't go unnoticed.

then it comes to wash your body. he starts with your neck, the back of your ears, and shoulders. it almost tickles you, the way his fingers are expertly touching you in your most sensitive spots and pressure points. you try to shy away from his touch, a little self conscious in your body and unshaved skin, but he doesn't allow you to.

"you're so pretty," he whispers against your nape, his hands pausing against your skin to squeeze at your flesh.

you're then stilling again him when he starts to scrub against your arms, cheeks heating up with self-loathing and shame when you're reminded of the clear old and fresh scars on your wrists that lead up to almost your elbow.

you thought he would maybe scold you for it, or maybe look at you with disgust, scared of what you thought was ugly and mortifying.

you almost melted when he just continued to scrub around your scars, the pressure of the scrubbing lightening around that specific area as to not irritate some of the more fresher ones. "this doesn't hurt right? not too rough?" he asks casually, not seeming to even mind the cuts.

it almost brings you to tears, the way he's just so gentle and accepting to you.

towards the end of the bath, he'll quickly wrap a towel around you first, not wanting you to get cold. as his hands wrap the towel around your frame, his hands close it in over your chest, his eyes soft and tender. you fight the urge to cry when he's then pulling you in for a kiss, his hold on you never ending and warm.

he'll hold you there for awhile, never minding that he doesn't have his own towel, or that he's almost on the verge of shivering because he's cold.

sakusa will happily lift you up into his arms once more, not minding the wet puddles that follow after his footsteps. he'll happily tuck you into the warm covers that is the bed he used to share with you.

he'll happily play with your now cleaned hair, knowing that you like it when he plays with your hair until you fall asleep. it takes awhile until you do, he'll ignore the cramp in his fingers after playing with your hair for almost an hour until you finally lull asleep, but sakusa is a patient man.

afterall, healing is a long process, and the two of you have all the time in the world to heal and rest.

please leave a like and repost with tags :)

#haikyuu sakusa #haikyū!! #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu texts #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu breeding #haikyuu pregnant #haikyuu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyu smut #haikyuu yandere #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #sakusa headcanons #sakusa fluff #sakusa x you #yandere sakusa kiyoomi x reader #yandere sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi smut #sakusa smut #msby sakusa #hq sakusa #yandere sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x y/n #sakusa x reader #sakusa x reader smut #‹𝟹 omi

[cherry-coloureddfunk]

if i should think of love, i think of you, kylo ren

Kylo blinked his eyes blearily to get the look of exhaustion out of them. He did a quick double take, his eyes wild with the hope that you were still in his arms. His lips curved into a sloppy grin as he inched toward you. Every time you breathed, he observed the motion of your chest. Just like this, you were very stunning. So beautiful and calm in his once discarded black T-shirt from yesterday night's activities. He sighed with relief. He hadn't yet had to wake up for the day, as he knew his automatic curtains had been programmed to open when it was time.

You were snuggled up against him, and he stifled a groan as his hands traced the shape of your body. His index finger slid down from your shoulder, around your waist, and onto your exposed thigh. You awoke slightly, and Kylo put his hand on top of your waist, obviously feeling awful for waking you up. You mumbled something incoherent that made Kylo snicker behind your back. He looked at your face intently, as if attempting to imprint the image on his mind permanently. It was at moments like these he was the happiest. 

If he was being honest, he couldn't remember a time when he felt so happy, so content;

So whole.

You were the source for it all. You kissed the blood and pain away from his wounds and treated him with the kind of tenderness and concern he had never experienced before. Kylo had never felt anything like this for anybody before you, and it was a lot to take in.

At times it was too much. 

He questioned whether or not he was worthy of you. More and more, as he contemplated it, a shadowy feeling began to settle over his subconscious. Why could an angel like you be so patient and kind towards him to the point it made his chest hurt? Why would someone like you love someone like him who’s done the atrocities he had? Kylo realized the risks involved. Since he was so widely reviled, it was obvious that he would have made enemies if he had ever let himself fall in love. Many people had the impression that Kylo Ren was a merciless tyrant who would eliminate any threat to his reign. Yet you never once made him feel like an emperor. He felt most like Ben with you. Though he despised and even detested the moniker, whenever you were in his immediate vicinity, he became euphoric and carefree, just as he had been as a child. Someone being that close to him was obviously risky. When he initially attempted to drive you away, he failed miserably because, as he'd suspected all along, he just couldn't deny you. The persistent negative thoughts in his mind kept him on edge. Holding you tightly, as if he thought you'd slip away somehow.

He remembered the day he’d done the unthinkable, killed his father. 

He remembered what you did for him.

You had made yourself comfortable on the black velcro sofa in the far corner of Kylo's living quarters. You hung your feet over the sofa and put a hand on the hard, dark ground. Black and white were the predominant colors of Kylo's room, creating a consistent pattern. You weren't as bored when Kylo was out discovering new worlds and doing first-order responsibilities, thanks to the data pad he gave you. Using the holonet, you tuned in to your favorite radio station, which played reports on the many exciting activities and breathtaking vistas to see on the many worlds. After learning that Kylo was born on Chandrila, you kept re-watching an episode in which the planet was discussed. He's always wanted to take you on a getaway, as he thought it would be amazing to see Hanna City with you by his side. If you went on a trip with him, he would waste all of his money on high-end eateries and tourist attractions.

All for you. 

The blast door to the chamber opened, and you put away your data pad as you saw a towering, recognizable figure appear in the opening. As you heard his booming entrance, you couldn't help but crack a grin. You awaited Kylo's return from work so that he could give you the kiss he always gave you. At this stage, it had become routine. But you frowned when the only sensation was the wind from his quick departure.

You glanced over at him, his massive figure bent over the foot of the king-size bed where the two of you spent your most intimate moments together. You sprang to your feet and walked over to lay a hand on his shoulder, comforting him.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, your voice dripping with concern, as you rubbed up and down his back. 

“I did it.” A modulator in his still-on helmet caused his voice to lower by many octaves. The irregular rhythm of his breathing within the helmet made you wrinkle your brows.

“Did what?” You asked, not having a clue as to what he was referring to. You waited for him to answer, wanting to help him with whatever he was going through. You hated to see him so distraught. 

“I killed him.” He replied. Despite the modulator, you heard the crack in his voice filled with pain and regret. He shook his head frantically, “I killed him. I killed him. I killed him.”

“What… Kylo, who did you kill?” You asked quietly, fear evident in your voice— not fearful of Kylo himself but what could happen to him because of who he killed. You knew many people didn’t like him but couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. Ever. You stayed quiet, hoping he would fill the silence and tell you what happened. 

Kylo must’ve noticed your tone, “I didn’t mean…” You paused for a second to look him in the eye. You could see the tears on his face and the glistening in his eyes. His broad mouth scrunched into an agonizing grimace. You lifted a hand to cup his face as you gasped. When you touched him, he almost immediately relaxed; clearly, he needed this. You were essential to him. With his eyes closed, he let himself be comforted by your touch as more tears ran down his cheeks. You slid your finger behind his neck and gently tugged, allowing him to lay his face on your shirt.

“I killed my father.” he let out meekly, partly muffled by your shirt in his face. You felt his tears dampening the material. You froze at the information, not really knowing how to process it. Kylo seldom ever talked about his father in a positive light, but when he did, it was usually memories from his childhood. The fact you’d never get to meet the father of the man you were in love with did make you a little sad. When you didn’t respond for a few minutes, kylo began to become frantic. 

“But this doesn’t change your mind, right— you still love me? Right? I love you— Please… Please don’t leave me.” He choked in between sobs, gripping at the material of your shirt, panicking, spewing out incoherent sentences, “Say you love me— please, star. I need you… so so much.” His voice broke entirely as his voice was barely above a whisper towards the end of the sentence. 

“I love you, Ky.” You spoke immediately, not wanting to scare him any further, “I always have, and I always will.”

“Really?” He uttered, looking up at you, glassy eyes filled with hope, “… you’re not going to leave?” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” You carded your fingers through his hair, moving so you could now sit on his lap. You grabbed his hand, placing little kisses on each of his knuckles, much like he’d always do for you when you were upset, “Isn’t that what an empress does for her emperor?” 

He smiled at that for a split second, which then turned into a frown. He ran his fingers over your thigh, taking a minute to try and steady his breathing, “I just thought that if I’d done it, snoke would be proud, and it would show that I’m no longer— tempted.”

You immediately understood. Sometimes when you two would lay in bed, Kylo would confess things to you that he wouldn’t dare tell anyone else. He confided in you, and you loved him for it. You’d listen for hours and hours as he’d open up to you. One night, in particular, stood out when Kylo began to question his loyalty to the first order. He would always find himself playing with the ends of your hair and stroking your cheek, thinking out loud; 

 “What if this isn’t worth it in the end?” 

Kylo was obviously not wicked in your eyes. Maybe it was because you saw the side of him that he tried so hard to keep hidden from everyone else. Even though Kylo had a tough demeanor, he was really a softie and a very kind person on the inside. This proved without a reasonable doubt that he had succumbed to the allure of the Force's light side. He apparently believed that murdering his father would further solidify his descent into evil, yet the reverse was true. Others saw him as a shell of the man he used to be; he appeared so shattered.

For you, though, it was the complete opposite. You got the impression that Kylo did what he did because he wanted to make a statement, to prove everyone wrong and achieve what they said he couldn't do in the first place. This, along with snoke's encouragement, led to Kylo's actions, and they couldn't be undone. Time and time again, you assured Kylo that you would stand by his side no matter what battle he decided to fight. 

If he wanted to watch the world burn, you’d burn it with him. 

”I shouldn’t have done it.” Kylo muttered, his face buried into the crook of your neck as you stroked his hair lovingly. 

“I know, I know.” You lift his face from its place on your neck, placing soft kisses all over his jaw.

The whole night was spent with you whispering comforting words into his ear, staying up to make sure he eventually fell asleep in your arms.

Kylo’s love for you just blossomed even more, that night, though he wasn’t sure that was even possible. 

You never judged him for that night. You had seen the most vulnerable parts of him that he knew no one else would ever get to see ever again, and you didn’t have a single negative thing to say about him– about what he did. He knew he deserved to suffer for what he did, and he knew that much was coming but what he didn't get was why you stuck right next to him. 

Even if you had the slightest intention of leaving, he knew you would have left long ago. He's given you a lot of chances, and the stars know it. This was the first time he'd ever put his confidence in someone and not feel any remorse for it. Kylo sighed weakly as a wave of emotions crashed over him.

What were you doing to him? 

When Kylo felt you shift against him, he froze; his eyes met yours with devotion and affection. Your eyes flew awake, and you stopped looking around as your gaze fell upon Kylo. As you blinked away the sleep from your eyes, a grin crossed your face.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He responded, giving a breathy chuckle. 

You felt your cheeks burn up, tucking your face into the crook of Kylo’s neck. “What’re you doing up?” 

Kylo chuckled at that. You've always had such a reserved personality. When it came to anybody else, he would have found it irritating, but he thought it was cute when it was you.

“Just thinking. Go back to sleep, my love.” He snuggled up to you, kissing the top of your head gently.

“Are you going to go to sleep?” You asked while removing your head from his neck and placing it on the pillow so that you could face him.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?” He questioned in a tone that suggested mild amusement; he clearly enjoyed making you squirm with his questions.

“Yes.” In a voice just barely softer than a whisper, you replied. You and Kylo had been dating for a while, but you were still too embarrassed to tell him what you really wanted. And this was especially true when all you wanted was his love and attention, or even just to cuddle up with him. But he would give you everything and so much more. You didn’t have to ask.

He smiled, “Okay, let's go to sleep, my love.” 

“Okay, goodnight Ky.” you snuggled up closer to him, your half-asleep state making you semi-aware of what you were saying. 

You two only said "I love you" when it really counted, never on arbitrary days like today. You and Kylo obviously placed a high value on the emotive connotations of the term. The wordless admittance was sufficient to convey the sentiments you both carried for one another, and it was enough for the two of you, as it was worth a thousand "I love yous" in both of your eyes.

Kylo and you fell asleep in one other's arms, your legs entwined, your breaths steady, and your hearts ultimately beating in unison.

If Kylo had to think of love;

He’d think of you.

#kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren #ben solo #ben solo deserved better #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you #ben solo x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars #adam driver #adcu fanfiction #adcu fluff #kylo redemption #kylo

[moriahwritez]

I’ve waited for you (Sevika x Female reader)

Hello guys! Finally time to continue back on writing Sevika’s fics. I remember writing a bit of her back in 2022. Guess I didn't had motivation to work on more, BUT HERE I AM! So here you go my fellow lesbians who needed something.

I do miss Sev it's not funny :(

My bad y’all I had to reread cuz I type so fast and had to go back for correction, forgive me😭😭😭

Anyways, please enjoy.💜💜💜

Lovely night in Zaun, the green lights dim throughout the streets. It was pretty silence on the road. You stayed in your wife’s bed, waiting impatiently to see her adorable face again. The room was very quiet and felt so empty as you thought about it. All you could hear only is the air conditioner cooling down the heat from all day and some of the noises from downstairs. That's the only thing you could hear but not the road outside. Could tell it was some people having a good time... but not for you it is. You didn’t want to think about other things, but your wife only and only her. It was now 1am, as you check on the clock on top of the wall above the headboard where your laying at. Suddenly, your heart skip when the keys jingles close to the front door as you heard it opened. Could it be her? “Sevika, love?” You ask yourself. Finally, you waited for hours to see her. You heard the sound of your wife mumbles as she walks in the bedroom quietly and takes off her jacket, hanging it up on her chair not noticing you were up. “Oh! Love, I didn't know you was awake." She jumps a bit. She saw how dark was the room and never knew you was up, til she saw your shadow from the dim light of the window. Sevika turn the light to finally see you look extremely tired. "Why you still up, sweetheart? You’ve been waited for me all night?” Sevika says in concern. She didn't want to be mean to you for staying up too long, so she pulls herself together, coming towards you. She bends down to kiss your forehead, meeting the same height. You were pretty short comparing to hers lol (like me XD) She holds you tightly enjoying the embrace she’s giving to you. “Well, I’m here now.” Then, you reply back. “Sev, I was so worried.” You caress her soft cheek, trailing your finger on her blue scar trying to not start crying. “I’ve waited the whole entire night. I couldn’t sleep. I just kept thinking about you for so long.” You said while leaning on her chest as a tear came down on your cheek. “Oh, my love.” Sevika caress the side of your beloved face, pressing you more. She then places your chin back up to meet her eye. “No need to worried, dear. I was thinking about you too. Now that I’m here, it’s over, love.” You had your anxiety moments thinking something would happened to Sevika if she wasn’t home. All those negative thoughts in your head had to be erased. Luckily, your wife had came to save you. “I was just nervous how long you was out there. I wanted you to come home early-“ Sevika shushes you. “Shhh, love don't worried so much. I’m fine. Everything went well. Were both safe.” She looks down at your beautiful eyes sparkle like diamonds. “You know how much I love you, right?” You sniff your tears and lifts a small smile. “Yeah, I know.” You calmed down for a bit and sighs. “Just wanted to make sure you was safe. That’s all. I can't keep thinking what would ever happened to you if-” Sevika cupped your both cheeks together, admiring how adorable your face were like a baby. “Love, do I have to say it all over again? Y/N, look at me.” She ordered you softly to do what she says and you did. “I was fine at work, I promise. And I came home safely didn't I? Yes I came home safe and sound. Nothing's ever gonna happened towards me...or you. I’m still here and we’ll continue to move on.” Your wife does her best to comfort you. She continues looking at you, which was such an awe moment. She couldn’t bear to look away from that puppy eyes of yours. “Now, can we finally get sleep? I’m exhausted…” Sevika says letting out a yawn. You nod. “Yes, same here.” Sevika lifts you up into her arms and without wasting enough time, she carries you to bed. She let you lay down first before she gets on top and turns her whole body to have her head lied on your upper chest. “Goodnight, love,” says Sevika droozing off to sleep with her work outfit on still. You caress her simple bun, while watching her. You finally felt relief from all the anxiety had in you. Eventually, you closed your eyes and gently fall asleep, not wanting to let her go.

The end.

(Yay! What a cute and heartwarming short story. I hope you enjoyed this a lot with Sevika. If your more into my fanfics, please follow me and I’ll be back writing more cute, romantically stories of our favorite milfs and others hehe). (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

#arcane #sevika arcane #sevika #arcane fandom #arcane sevika #fanfic #sevika x fem reader #sevika fanfic #sevika x you #sevika imagine #sevika x reader #sevika fanfiction #sevika x y/n #arcane league of legends #arcane lol #arcane fanfiction #lesbian

[clueless-fan-critic]

Nimona: Just Now Got Onto The Hype for This Movie

After my first viewing, the movie Nimona was a thrilling, fun adventure with so much love and passion behind it that it makes you want to root for the bad guy and antiheroes once again. This makes you question what side you should support or not. And I love that it makes that kind of statement in the film.

Based on the novel of the same name written by ND Stevenson, they built a story about what it means to be a hero or villain, even going to lengths of what one’s true self is in the face of adversity. There’s also a bonus of a gay couple being at odds with each other like any couple in media.

If you want to watch the most human film of 2023 staring a pink-haired shapeshifter, then let’s get into the deep stuff.

Freedom and Freethinking

Nimona is the character that embodies someone who’s comfortable with who they are, at least on the outside. However, Nimona desperately wants to belong in a world that doesn’t want them to exist. This can mean lots of things, especially being an allegory for being nonbinary or transgender, thus not conforming to society’s rigid expectations.

Ballister Blackheart is the black sheep of the society he was placed into, the outsider that doesn’t feel like they could belong. He was essentially molded into a role meant to change the status quo and was later branded a villain by the kingdom. Sure, he was framed for murder, but he was greatly disliked and mistrusted before for not being of a “noble” bloodline.

Ambrosius Goldenloin is more portrayed as the man stuck between duty and love as he slowly unravels from the changes to the status quo. He still remains loyal because of his status as the direct descendent of the founder to the kingdom. He benefits from the system he resides in unlike Ballister and tries to find a middle ground to what he wants and what is right for the system.

All the people in the kingdom are influenced by their belief that monsters are evil and slaying them is the only option, as well as being affected by the fear of an unknown world beyond the walls. While the people aren’t evil, they aren’t innocent victims either. They still benefit and follow the life built within the walls of their kingdom without questioning anything

Transformation

Each character undergoes some sort of transformation, whether shapeshifting or through emotional growth. Some can be considered good for them and much needed, while other parts are very, very bad for a lot of people. Ballister internally transforms from a warrior to a friend to a monster that can empathize with Nimona’s feelings of isolation. You can even argue that Nimona’s shapeshifting is a representation of being genderfluid and changing their appearance to feel like they’re free.

The Director’s transformation is more negative if anything. She essentially allows her own fears of losing security get the best of her to the point of letting innocent people die than see any other solutions.

What it Means to Be Human

I loved that it doesn’t shy away from making strong commentary on how people make judgements and are motivated by their belief of being right. Around the climax, Nimona transforms into a giant shadowy monster after experiencing all of the pain she’s endured and nearly took her own life because she believed she was a monster. This was a powerful scene because we can understand feeling like no one will love or accept you, but there’s that small act of kindness that brings you back from that darkness.

Now...

Nimona is a modern classic that deeply explores identity and transformation within their characters in a rich environment and complex themes. This film makes the audience reflect on their own views on what they consider different while understanding self-acceptance and challenging societal norms. It’s a must-see for anyone who feels like an outsider and wants to learn about self-love and freedom from rigid ideas of identity. All I can say is that I’m emotionally exhausted from the rollercoaster of feels that I’ve felt.

#nimona #ballister x ambrosius #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nd stevenson #netflix #nimona movie #eugene lee yang #chloe grace moretz #riz ahmed

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

Weak

Pairing : More of a platonic Miguel O' Hara X Reader

Genre : Angst

Summary : Miguel hates feeling weak, something that you understand more than anyone else.

Request/story idea by: @quimerathetraveler

Wordcount: 0.9 k

Miguel O'Hara Masterlist

( A/N: I’m trying different personalities to see whatever works with his character best, lemme know what ya’ll think. )

Miguel's eyes dart all over the area. 

He's injured, badly. A deep gash is crossed over his ribs, and not even the spray supplied by his suit for emergencies is doing him much good.

On top of that, he's exhausted, years of taking care of the multiverse having caught up to him.

" Boss, we got hi- Oh, no." The voice of one of the spider woman who he's come to help speaks as she notices his injury.

He's hunched over, holding his side whilst taking rough deep breaths. He feels vulnerable, hates having everyone' eyes on him.

" Boss, we should get you help!-" MJ calls, taking her mask off.

" No. I'm fine. Bring the anomaly to HQ, I'll get there myself."

MJ is visibly distraught by his words, but does what he says, not wanting to face whatever negative reaction he could bring up in his pain.

As she disappears, he doubles over, nearly forgetting that Jessica and you are at the scene as well.

Jessica sighs deeply before reacting.

" Miguel, maybe we should help. I doubt you'd be able to get back by yourself-"

He glares from the corner of his eye at her.

" I can do it, just g-"

" No you can't. "

Now his eyes shift to you.

Admittedly, he doesn't know you really well, even though your powers are the only ones that are similar to his. You have talons, venomous teeth and superhuman hearing and sight as well. He's barely ever spoken to you before though.

" I-"

" Don't argue with me. I'll jab you in your wound if you're going to be a baby about it. " You scoff, your eyes showing disinterest as you move to help him.

He glares at you, but it doesn't seem to deter you in the slightest.

He's not necessarily surprised to. You've been through a lot in your own universe, the horrors you had to face giving you a pass without doubt into the spider team. You're physically not one of the strongest, but you're fearless, making you one of the stronger ones of the team anyway. It would take a lot more than his glare to shake you.

He can't help but feel puzzled and surprised as you lift his arm over your shoulder. You sync both of your watches, and soon enough you're tearing a gateway with your claws back into universe 2099.

Everyone is surprised when the both of you step into HQ, Jessica having gone back on her own.

Miguel hates the feeling he gets when everyone shares worried glances, them never having seen their boss so vulnerable before.

You must've noticed.

" What? Did none of you ever seen someone injured?" You call out roughly.

Most of the spiders turn their heads. All except Hobie, who gives Miguel a blank look as he so often does before nodding at you.

Hobie and you get along well, the only difference being that Hobie creates a lot of trouble and has quite a big mouth, whilst you refrain in the back. The calm before the storm.

Eventually, you carry him to the infirmary, and help him sit down on one of the beds.

" Will you be okay or do you need me to call a medic?" You ask, creating distance between the two of you again as you step back, leaning against a wall.

" I'll be fine." He says gruffly.

You nod, but don't move away.

He glances at you again, ignoring the sudden spinning in his head.

" What? You can go." He pushes.

" I'm waiting for you to pass out. I'll call a medic after." You tell him nonchalantly, crossing your arms over one another.

He sighs, knowing you're right. He needs help. He can't do it by himself this time. 

He doesn't want any more people to see him like this though.

" Can you.... help me?" He asks, looking away with an embarrassing pink dust on his cheeks.

Your eyes widen, surprise evident before they harden again, and you nod.

" I've never done this on someone else other than myself though."

You don't say anything else as you wordlessly get to work.

He tends to forget that you've been alone for a very long time before you joined the team.

You stitch up his wounds carefully, and honestly quite messy. He still rather has this than having more people see him like this.

When you're done, you run a careful finger over the stitches to make sure they're secure before stepping away.

" This is the best I can do. Good luck with it." You tell him, going back to your stoic demeanor.

You turn to leave, not expecting a reply, when he grasps your wrist with his right hand.

You tense in response, not being used to physical contact. Upon noticing it, he lets go.

" Thank you.."

You glance at him, your eyes not betraying your emotions this time as you nod.

" Yeah... Don't get used to it."

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara angst #mcu fanfic #spiderman across the spider verse #spider-man 2099

[jjwho]

What you Need to Heal Right Now

Collaboration with : @amionatea

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Pile 1

Cards pulled out: four of wands reversed, three of cups, the empress, page of swords

So Pile 1

What I see is that in the past you mgihtve never felt included or welcomed. People mightve canceled on you a lot of you could have a lot of family members who don't like you or cut you off. What you need to feel is your insecurity and instability and your self doubts. These issues have most likely caused you to be inable to go to requires or party's or to just have fun with people or just to feel comfortable with yourself being in an area with people without being so subconscious about yourself. You need to Heal by getting more buturingveuth yourself and to be more in tune with you feminine energy. You need to find balance in yourself and have patience with yourself. You should communicate more and be assertive and direct. Don't overthink anything.

Why should you heal this issue?

Nine of cups and King of cups

You'll finally have your dreams come true and finally feel fulfilled with yourself and feel accomplished, you might even meet more emotionally mature people who are patient and tolerant which can help you a lot.

@amionatea s turnnn

Pile 2

For pile 2-

You are in need to heal your connections, both personal relationships as the connection to yourself.

You seem to be stuck isolating yourself, turning a blind I to well meaning connections meant to blossom.

The hurt you've endured in the past keeps you from opening up towards like minded individuals, offering you a harmonious relationship or simply showing interest in you as a person.

Your inner dialogue keeps repeating the same mantras of vigilance and distrust while your need for vulnerability and unity is at a constant high leaving you fighting an inner conflict.

This has exhausted you both mentally and emotionally.

As of now you are asked to face your fears of betrayal and slowly work towards connecting with your surroundings.

You have already made progress in the right direction,you just need to push yourself a little.

Step away from your inner turmoil and allow people to get to know you for you,not for what you perceive them to want from you.

Yes, you have encountered negative people in the past and your need to keep yourself safe from future disappointments and hurt is understandable but not only are you stunting your own personal growth,you are denying yourself of the love you yearn for.

You are meant to experience safe and loving connections and they are there for you to explore if you are brave enough to cross that bridge.

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Pile 3

Pile 3-

Are living in a lack mindset?

The first two cards in your pile paint a picture of some on constantly over burdening themself in hopes of gaining more.

You seem to be working towards emotional fullfillment, longing to have it all in the near future ,thereby forgetting to enjoy your blessings and achievements in the now.

You like to be prepared for the unknown,as much as possible and not wanting to experience certain live situations again has lead you to become a hard and disciplined worker but you can't seem to see yourself as such.

You are stuck viewing yourself as someone aimlessly drifting when you have clearly worked past this aspect of you.

You are in need to work on both yourself Image and your perception on "being of value".

You do not need to be on top of everything for people to love and admire you.

It's okay to not be prepared for everything and relay on your loved ones, especially in regards to emotional situations.

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Back to me😌

Pile 4

Cards pulled out: The star, ace of pentacles reversed, nine of wands reversed, seven of cups reversed

Pile 4.

You need to Heal your creative and positive energy. You need to let your healing energy do its job and heal and not stop it from healing.

You need to start healing these issues so you won't make bad financial decisions, you need to recognise how badly you're spending money and being stingy at the same time. You need to stop being so stubborn and not accepting the help that is offered otherwise you'll be left with nothing and shit options left because you don't accept the help and you don't let yourself think positively and don't you let yourself get hope that you need. You need to work on your issues where you avoid your problems and being too focused on superficial shit.

Why you need to Heal these issues?

Eight of cups and knight of pentacles

So you can finally leave these issues and be given and get stability, security and good financial opportunities.

STOP BEING NEGATIVE OH MY DAYS. You're in a bad situation because you're stubborn and don't let yourself have hope and be positive. Let yourself heal and be positive and hopeful. My days..

#tarot community #astrology #free tarot #pick a pile #intuitive readings #psychic readings #tarot deck #pick an image #pick a pile reading #free readings #pac #jjwho #healing tarot #collaboration