#it’s okay he answered her after being refreshed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ichorai · 5 months

Text

stitch ; coriolanus snow.

pairing ; young!coriolanus snow x capitol!reader (gender-neutral)

synopsis ; and he clearly wasn’t thinking straight, because his feet didn’t bring him back to his own filthy, dirty, rat-infested home. he brought himself to your winged estate, gardened and manicured and polished to perfection.

words ; 8.7k

themes ; angst, action, mild fluff

warnings / includes ; themes of classism, violence/injury/death/drug misuse, foul language, lucky being lucky, a lot of kisses, coryo's paranoia, he's much more toxic this chapter someone pls save reader (aka doomed by the narrative), i tried to keep him in character as best i could </3

a/n ; thank you for all the support on this series so far! if i've planned this out right, there will be two more parts coming after this one!

series masterlist. main masterlist.

Considering you survived numerous explosions and a metal-pipe lodged in your abdomen, you weren’t looking all that bad. Though you were still badly aching, the injuries you had sustained during the bombings strayed away from your face, save for a few small cuts and bruises that would heal in no time. It made it easy for you to pretend like everything was okay as you donned a crisp, ironed, academy uniform. A new one, that wasn’t stained with your blood and the arena’s dust.

All the doctors had advised you to stay at the hospital to rest and recover. But with the games starting in mere hours… you couldn’t leave Wovey alone. You made a promise, and you intended to keep it.

After surprisingly little begging, your mother caved and signed the release forms for you, on the condition that you’d stay on a wheelchair for the entire duration of the games—or until you were fully healed. Whichever came first.

Coriolanus came early that morning, looking more tired than the last time you saw him, and promised your mother that he’d take care of you with a charming smile. He kissed your cheek, thumb brushing just beneath your jaw, before wheeling you off to the academy. The warm, fresh wind was refreshing against your face, billowing your hair to and fro.

“I gave her rat poison,” Coriolanus said as he pushed you along.

The suddenness of his words startled you into a flabbergasted silence. You stared straight ahead for a few moments, lips screwing to the side, trying your best to remain calm. Then, you gritted out, “What in Panem made you think that was a good idea? If Highbottom finds out… it’ll be over for you, Coryo. That’ll be grounds for worse than expulsion.”

“Lucy Gray has to win. She can’t—on her own. I had to give her something.” Coriolanus’ hands flexed on the handles of the wheelchair.

“I can’t cover for you forever, Coryo,” you whispered, words almost lost to the wind. But he heard.

He narrowed his pale eyes at the back of your head. “You won’t tell, will you?” There was a biting edge to his tone.

“You’re an idiot if you think I would.” You pressed a hand over your bandaged abdomen, obscured by the vibrant red fabric. “Besides—if you go down, I’d go down with you. With enough secrets of yours I bite down on… that makes me an accomplice, too.”

Lucky Flickerman’s eyes were wide as saucers when you showed up to the academy in a wheelchair. He fluttered over to you with a reporter following close behind him, shoving a camera into your face. You loved him, truly, but it was hard to tell apart the Lucky that appeared in front of cameras and the real Lucky your mother was best friends with. A myriad of questions fell from the mustached man’s mouth, and you only managed to answer one and a half of them before Sejanus appeared, and Lucky turned to him to ask him questions about his missing tribute.

With a roll of his eyes, Coriolanus pushed you down a ramp (one that hadn’t been there until just a few hours ago, when they heard news of you coming in a wheelchair), and settled you in front of a monitor with your name on it, in the middle of the rows of seats. His was by the very edge, much to both of your dismay.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he told you, enveloping one of your hands in both of his. He kneeled down in front of you so he’d be at eye-level.

You nodded, but pursed your lips. “Why did you tell me? About the…” You trailed off, worried someone would overhear. But he knew what you were talking about—the rat poison.

He tried his best to give you a genuine smile, nudging his knuckles beneath your chin. They felt cold against your skin—a stark contrast to what the wind outside had felt like. “It’s like you said, isn’t it? Enough secrets of mine you hoard, the more you’re tethered to me.”

You couldn’t quite tell if he was joking. Your lips parted, but no words left your tongue.

Dipping forward, he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Let’s hope this is over quickly.”

Let’s hope they all die quick, he might as well have said.

“Mmh,” you told him, sparing something akin to a smile. Though, it might’ve looked more like a grimace. Coriolanus’ head was far too preoccupied to notice. You felt sick, and glanced around at all the other students who were taking their seats. Lucky was making his way to the front to get some final touch-ups, flashing you an encouraging wink.

A minute later, he waved away the makeup artists and brandished a microphone from thin air. You almost rolled your eyes—his amateur magic tricks were certainly getting better and better.

“Okay, everyone, places! We’re about to go live! Just because we’re not hosting doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Help me out here, alright? Don’t get lost behind your screens. No yawning, no gum-chewing—keep your chins down, heads up, shoulders back, people! And—do remember to smile. It’s why we have teeth.”

Lucky began grinning from ear-to-ear as a demonstration.

His teeth are far too white for his face, Coriolanus thought as he settled into his seat. A shade brighter and I’d surely go blind.

With a hand raised, Lucky began counting down with his fingers. He announced himself with his usual charming flair—and when the music started thrumming, low and ominous, he began wishing everyone a happy Hunger Games, before rushing off to stand behind all the students.

The large screen in the center of the theater lit up with a shot of the tributes walking into the arena. Several dozens of smaller screens surrounding it gave the students a wide plethora of different angles.

Your throat went dry upon seeing Wovey and Lucy Gray emerge from the entrance tunnel holding hands. They smiled at each other—one of the smaller cameras managed to catch it just perfectly—all soft and encouraging. Peacekeepers pushed the two onward with the barrels of their guns and they were forced to separate.

“Stand on your marks or you will be shot,” the announcement system buzzed.

Some of the tributes sobbed. Some of them hardened with determination.

The cameras panned around—until one of them landed on a hanging body, strung up by bloody ropes. Your eyes widened when you recognized him as Sejanus’ tribute.

Was he dead?

His chest gave a hunkering breath, though shallow and wheezy, and you dreaded to think about how much pain he must’ve been in.

“Guess we can all sleep better now knowing he’s off the streets,” Lucky said into the microphone. The audience of students behind you burst into sporadic cheers and bouts of laughter.

This must’ve been the last straw for Sejanus, as he got up from his desk and just about chucked the entire monitor across the theater. It fell against the stage with several clutters and thunks. Many of the students nearby flinched.

“YOU’RE MONSTERS!” he screamed, face wrought with anguish. “ALL OF YOU!”

With that, he stormed out. Perhaps if you weren’t confined to your wheelchair or in a great amount of pain you would’ve followed him, you thought. But maybe you were just making excuses for yourself.

Sejanus was a brave man with a rash head. You were neither brave nor rash.

Lucky began to count down again. And just as he reached one, a loud, buzzer-like sound rang through the arena. Echoed into the theater from the monitors.

The tributes began running every which way. You had your eyes fixed on Wovey. At first, she seemed to jaggedly step towards the center, where a selection of weapons were laid out. But she thought better of it once she saw all the commotion and scuttled back to the rows of seats as fast as she could. She climbed and climbed, and your chest was heavy with the idea of her falling, or of someone following her. Nobody did, thankfully.

There you go, sweetheart. Hide.

The last you saw of Wovey was the top of her small head before she disappeared behind the dusty seats. Good.

Then, you turned your attention to Lucy Gray, running around and screaming for Jessup. You briefly glanced back at Coriolanus, who was looking incredibly tense. His entire face seemed to be set into a deep frown.

What is she doing? he mouthed, mostly to himself. Run!

Immediately, buzzes rang out through the theater as tributes were slowly eliminated and disappointed students got up from their seats. You tried your best to avert your eyes from all the blood and gore. The screams, however, you couldn’t escape. A girl three seats away from you puked all over the floor, much to Lucky’s irritation.

To your relief, Lucy Gray managed to find Jessup amidst the chaos, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the hole in the ground—into the tunnels. A few angry tributes were following after them at a worryingly quick pace. Lucky made a rather smug comment about the gamemakers being prepared enough to have security cameras installed in every nook and cranny, even after the bombing “disruption”.

You let out a large breath you didn’t realize you were holding in when Lucy Gray managed to crawl into a room through a flap in the door, Jessup hot on her heels. The tributes cursed and yelled, but no one dared follow in after the two in fear of getting hurt while trying to get in.

“Thirteen tributes remain,” announced Lucky. He looked to you and gave you a wink. “Reaper still looming large on top of the charts while Coral and her pack try to make a play. Little Wovey has done an excellent job of scaling the broken columns and hiding beneath what’s left of the seats. Let’s hope we see her soon.”

You glanced at your monitor. There were options to send her food or water if need be. But not yet. You had to be resourceful with the donations you had.

“Six tributes gone in minutes. If they keep it up at this pace… we’re going to be out of here in no time.”

Many hours passed. It was incredibly quiet for a long time—save for Lucky moving off to the side to do some reporting of the weather. Some students even fell asleep by their monitors.

You were growing tired too, lids heavy with exhaustion and head bobbing up and down a few times. You tried to keep yourself awake, paranoid that something could happen to Wovey if you were to accidentally doze off. To your relief, you snapped awake when a hand rested on your shoulder and Coriolanus kneeled down beside you, offering a bottle of water. It felt wrong to be drinking at your leisure when the tributes were probably parched right now.

You took the bottle with a grateful mutter of thanks and took a hefty swig.

“How are you feeling? Your wounds okay?” His hand moved up to gently smooth over the back of your head.

“I think so,” you replied, before grimacing. “I don’t like watching this, Coryo. I never have.”

“I’m sorry,” he offered. “I can take you back, if you want. To the hospital.”

“No. I have to stay,” you protested. He seemed relieved at this, not keen on leaving any time soon.

With a curt nod, he gestured back to his own seat. “Just—let me know if you need anything.”

“You should focus on your tribute, Coriolanus,” you told him, brushing the back of your fingers along his jaw.

“My tribute didn’t have a metal pipe sticking out of her a day ago,” he whispered. “You’re priority number one. You always will be.”

“Well, I’m fine. Lucy Gray, however, is much more at risk,” you replied airily. “If my Wovey can’t win… I’d really rather see her alive.”

Those pale eyes of his searched yours.

“I love you,” he said. It was abrupt and sounded as if someone was strangling it out of him.

“I love you, too. Get back to your seat before Highbottom finds a way to get mad at you,” you told him. With a pointed jerk back to his seat, you heavily emphasized, “Again.”

With a squeeze of your shoulder (you tried your best not to grimace, since he pressed right against a large bruise on your collarbone), he rose back to full height and headed back to his monitor.

The arena was still silent, even an hour later. Just as you were beginning to seriously consider taking a nap, there came a rustling from the rubble. Lamina, the other district two tribute, rose from behind a large stone slab, and approached the hanging Marcus.

His blood from all the exposed wounds he’d acquired had slowly dripped down his body and formed a frighteningly sizable, semi-dried puddle down below. It was a wonder how he hadn’t already succumbed to his wounds.

Lamina climbed up the broken stone columns to make her way to him. There were several dried tear tracks on her face, and her nose was very red. Lamina stroked Marcus’ head, and he seemed to jerk alive with her touch. His chest rose and fell in a broken, staggering motion.

“Please…” he croaked. “Please…”

He dissolved into gentle sobs.

When Lamina raised her hatchet, you tore your eyes away and looked downward. There came a sick squelch as she struck him and the audience gasped. Lamina cut at his bonds and watched his body crumple down to the ground. Donations for Lamina began to steadily climb higher.

Pup Harrington, Lamina’s mentor, decided to take it upon himself to be the first one to send his tribute a drone with water. Dread settled the pit of your stomach when the drone buzzed in through the broken rooftop of the arena—but it didn’t seem to slow down. No, it only accelerated faster and faster the closer it got. Lamina gave a little shriek and ducked just in time—the drone crashed into the stone column and exploded into a thousand metal parts. The glass water bottle fell down below and shattered by Marcus’ now-dead body.

How were you supposed to send Wovey water now? Perhaps you’d send her food instead—that way, it wouldn’t shatter and go to waste if it hit anything. You scrolled through the options on your monitor. Apples would be a good choice. Plenty of water in them. But you held back—Wovey might’ve been asleep underneath those seats.

A few more hours passed by, slipping well into nightfall. You took a vial of prescribed morphling from your bag and downed it in one go. You could feel it buzzing through your system almost immediately, numbing the sting of your still-healing wounds. It just so happened that Highbottom swept down the steps then, eyeing you behind those spectacles of his. You shuddered and leaned your head down onto the table. The drugs were making you incredibly sleepy.

Highbottom stopped just behind Coriolanus. “You can’t save her by watching,” he murmured to his most loathsome student. “What do you want from that girl?”

“Nothing,” the blonde gritted out. “I want her to live.”

“Mmh. And the Plinth Prize would be a happy coincidence, I suppose.”

Coriolanus’ eyes squinted at nothing in particular. “I believe I’d be entitled to it.”

“Of course you do,” Highbottom retorted, tone heavy with condescension. “And who do you think makes the final decision for the prize you so covet, Mr. Snow? Wake up. Even if Lucy Gray Baird somehow wins it all, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t see a single dime. So… ask yourself this: how much do you care if she lives now?”

Coriolanus was gripping his hands into fists so tight that they turned a ghostly-white.

“And I know… if the young and talented Y/N wins that prize… it’ll go straight to you. Isn’t that right?” Highbottom’s lips twitched in amusement when Coriolanus stiffened. “So it seems that neither of you will be seeing that prize, Mr. Snow.”

His jaw twitched, and he snapped his head to the scowling dean. “You can’t punish them because of me. That’s not fair. Y/N doesn’t deserve that.”

Highbottom let out a gruff laugh, quiet enough for nobody to notice. Mostly everyone had gone home or was asleep, anyway. “It’s not like Y/N would have won anyway—not with that quiet little runt. Kid was doomed from the very start. Take a good look in front of you, boy. Take a look at those tributes—and then you come and tell me what’s fair.”

The very last word was practically spat at him. The dean turned on his heel and marched off.

Still, hours passed by silently. Lucky was clearly growing agitated with the fact that things were moving so slowly. He’d already had to cancel two dinner appointments.

When Volumnia Gaul stepped into the academy, a dark cloak draped over her shoulders, you were already half-awake. She stood beside you menacingly, and you startled into full alert with a small noise of surprise, the bright blue of one of her eyes boring right into you. She said your name then, all low and elongated. You could barely suppress the shiver that ran down your spine. Still groggy, your blurry peripheral vision told you that practically every one had retired for the night. Save for a few straggler students and, of course, Coryo. You noticed, with muted interest, that every single screen was frozen on an image of the Panem crest, rather than the security camera footage inside the arena.

“I can smell the morphling on you,” she muttered, brows raised. “You should go home. Get some rest. Change those bandages of yours.”

You glanced down at your abdomen—a grimace made its way onto your face when you noticed that your uniform (new, mind you), was stained with a fresh bout of blood. You’d bled through your bandages. With a frown, you uneasily swallowed. It didn’t seem like Dr. Gaul was going to accept no for an answer.

“I, uh—” She noticed the way you began to angle yourself to Coriolanus. He’d fallen asleep by his monitor, in a similar fashion to you.

Her mouth pursed in mock-sympathy. “Coriolanus wants to stay. Watch over his songbird. I suggest you find someone else to wheel you back home.”

Your lips parted in surprise. A part of you wanted to protest, but you were far too tired to argue. “I can get myself home,” you told her. “Good night, Dr. Gaul.”

A creaky, amused titter fell from her throat. “Your little one is good at hiding. A shame she’s not going to make it.”

A wave of nausea rolled over you. You determinedly fixed your gaze on the ground and began to push yourself out of the academy. Volumnia watched you go with narrowed eyes. Once she was sure you were gone, she made her way to Coriolanus.

The boy had a job to do.

Bobbin’s blood was still all over his hands. Dried, now. Dark with time. Dr. Gaul stitched up the gash on his left shoulder blade—he wondered if you had been in this much pain when you woke up in the hospital. But it was different, because he was slashed by a little boy, and you fell onto a metal pipe. Coriolanus wasn’t sure which one was better.

Not that it was a competition. It was all Sejanus’ fault anyway, he concluded.

He had wanted to sprinkle bread crumbs on his dead tribute’s body. What a waste.

Once Dr. Gaul had sent him off back home with his wound tightly bound, he staggered out with a heavy chest and tear-stained cheeks.

And he clearly wasn’t thinking straight, because his feet didn’t bring him back to his own filthy, dirty, rat-infested home. He brought himself to your winged estate, gardened and manicured and polished to perfection.

This should be mine, he thought. I should have this. I deserve this.

And then, another irrational thought crossed his mind as he rang the doorbell.

It will be mine.

The doors swung open—which mildly surprised him, considering it was very late at night—and your mother peeked her head out. She eyed him with part confusion, part surprise. Then, she caught sight of the blood on his hands. The door widened to let him through.

Almost immediately when he stepped in, your mother roped him into a warm embrace. He inhaled and choked on air. And then, he dissolved into a fit of wracking sobs. She crooned and stroked her hand along the back of his head.

“What’s this, Coriolanus? Whose blood is this?”

He hiccuped and drew in a staggered breath. “It’s… mine. I got into a fight with a classmate about the Games. It got violent and bloody—Dr. Gaul fixed me up.” He emphasized a wince and gestured to the wound on his shoulder. He let your mother fuss over him, demanding to take a look at the gash. Reluctant, he unbuttoned his uniform again to let her see.

It seemed the commotion was enough to wake you up, because you had limped to the top of the grand staircase with sleepy eyes and messy hair.

Once your mother caught sight of you out of bed, she pulled away from Coriolanus to chastise you, but her words fell on deaf ears. You mumbled out your boyfriend’s name in confusion, before leaning heavily against the bannister to slowly step down, wincing with the movement.

Coriolanus was quick to move upstairs, meeting you near the top, as you had only managed to descend a handful while he jogged to you. He cupped your face first, smoothing his thumbs over your jaw the way he always did. And when you spread your arms, he just about fell into you, his nose dropping down to the junction between your neck and your shoulder. His entire form trembled with his cries, muffled into your skin.

It was as if he’d been reduced to a child all over again. Eating paste, salty with his tears of hunger.

“Coryo,” you whispered, gripping at his waist. “Coryo, please tell me what’s going on. You’re worrying me.”

He hesitantly withdrew his damp face away from your neck. “Can we… talk privately?”

With pursed lips, you looked down to your mother at the bottom of the staircase.

She cleared her throat tiredly. “I’ll leave you two be. But no funny business, understand? Y/N needs to recover.”

With a serious stare in Coriolanus’ direction, she turned and marched off to the Northern wing.

“Come on,” you told him. “Let’s go to my room.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, rubbing the space between his brows. His arm wrapped over your waist to help you up the few steps. “It’s so late, and I just barged in and interrupted your sleep—”

“Coryo, you’re covered in blood. Sleep is the last thing on my mind.”

Once in your room, you shut the door and leaned against it. Coriolanus made his way to your bed and sat on it, face buried into his hands.

“Does this have something to do with Dr. Gaul?” you asked, watching him with keen eyes.

His head snapped up and he regarded you curiously. “How’d you know?”

“She told me to leave. And all the screens were… frozen.” With slow steps, you limped across your room to sit right beside him. “Whose blood is that?”

Coriolanus was silent for a long while. So long that you wondered if he even heard your question at all.

“Don’t—don’t hate me. I need you.”

“I won’t hate you. I love you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Stop it, Coryo. You don’t get to decide whether I l—”

“It was Bobbin.” He effectively cut you off, rendering you speechless. “I killed him.”

You stared at him as if he’d grown another head. “The… the district eight boy?” With each passing second, your eyes grew larger and—wetter. Coriolanus had to turn away. “You were in the arena? Dr. Gaul made you… oh, Coryo.”

“Sejanus went in to see his friend.” The last word was sneered out in a rather demeaning manner. “The tributes started attacking us. I… I hit Bobbin with a rock.”

He left out the gorey details. How he kept bashing Bobbin’s head in even after his body stopped twitching. How it felt… powerful.

“It was self defense, then,” you murmured, drawing closer to brush your lips against his shoulder, just above his sutures.

It was, at first. And then it… wasn’t. Coriolanus pursed his lips.

“Bobbin… he was Wovey’s friend, I think.” Your voice wavered, and you blinked away the tears that welled up in your eyes. “I hope she’s okay.”

Coriolanus said nothing as he frowned. He didn’t like how much you cared for her, no matter how much of a hypocrite that made him. It was like Highbottom said… the kid was doomed from the very beginning.

“Are you okay?” you asked him, voice as soft as silk.

“I don’t…”

“It’s okay if you’re not. I’ll be here for you.”

“You’re too good,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re always just so… good. How do you do it?”

There was a considerable silence before you reached over to take his chin between your fingers and force him to look at you. “I’m just trying my best. And you are, too. Don’t discredit yourself, Coriolanus. You’re good for me. You always will be.”

His pale eyes flickered. Then, he kissed you. Slow and soft, begging for more but—you pulled away with a hum before he could press further against you.

A distinct coldness fell over his expression. “You can’t tell anyone what I told you. About Bobbin.”

You studied him for a few seconds. Watched the way he folded into himself with such caution. Compartmentalize and shield the most ugly parts of himself away from you. It was a defense mechanism of sorts. You knew it all too well, and narrowed your eyes at him.

“Why do you always think that I’ll go about and tell the world everything you say to me? Do you not trust me?”

He sucked in a shuddering breath. “I do. I do, of course I do. You just—you know everything there is to know. You can destroy me completely, and it’ll be my fault because I let you in—because I let myself fall in love with you.”

Your features twisted into one of shock. “Is that what you think? That I’m seeking to destroy you? Bring you down? What—Coriolanus, why would I do that? Do you hear yourself? How many times do I have to say that I love you until you realize that I mean it?”

“You can love me and still betray me. They’re not mutually exclusive.” There was a terse silence that stretched thick between the two of you like taffy. His brows furrowed together and he stared angrily down at the ground as he frustratedly worked his jaw. “I’m not saying you will betray me. I’m saying you could. And that… that terrifies me.”

“I won’t. You said it yourself, remember? I’m tethered to you. I’m an accomplice—I know too much,” you said, exasperated. “But there is nothing I want to take from you. I gain nothing from stabbing you in the back. I just—I want for us to be a normal fucking couple!”

Coriolanus hung his head. With another sharp breath, he nodded several times, as if he was snapping himself out of his own thoughts. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I trust you. I’m sorry.”

When your countenance softened inexplicably, Coriolanus let himself slowly tear his walls of paranoia back down. His hands returned to you then, far more hesitantly cradling your face, gripping your hips, squeezing your thighs as he kissed you. It was familiar and comforting, yet simultaneously all too much.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?” you panted into the kiss, trying to break away as your lungs screamed for air. “I miss you. It’s been so long since we just… existed alone together.”

He nodded—because how could he say no to you?—and helped you settle back onto the bed. Let you hold onto him, let you trace mindless shapes into his arm. Watched as your eyes fluttered shut and you fell back into what looked like a restful sleep. Envy curled within the confines of his chest. Sleep graced you so easily. Why did everything come to you so easily?

Nonetheless, he dipped forward to brush his lips against your temple, before gingerly pulling away. You stirred with the jostling, but stayed deep asleep. With that, Coriolanus made his way out of your room, clicking the door shut as softly as he could, and descended down the stairs. He left your house with a heavy chest and a throbbing shoulder.

Early the next morning, your mother came to the academy with you to watch the end of the Hunger Games—and to be there for moral support, she’d told you. She wheeled you in with a bright smile, greeting all the staring students with a friendly confidence. Once she brought you in front of the very same monitor as yesterday, she kissed the top of your head before flitting away to speak with Lucky, who was all smiles and charm. You overheard him saying that he was confident the games would come to a close soon. Your mother said something in reply, but their voices were drowned out by the swell of students entering the theater.

Coriolanus walked in only a few minutes after you, Tigris on his arm. The two of them made their way to you—Coryo was stone-faced, looking more tired than ever. Tigris appeared more worried than anything, but she was just about glowing in her new pink dress, all sharp angles and pristine fabric.

“You look beautiful,” you told her genuinely once she drew closer to you and took both your hands in hers. “I love your outfit. The color suits you.”

“Thank you,” she replied, flushing a pleased rouge hue. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been impaled by a metal pipe,” you told her with a slight grimace. “But, you know… no better way to fix that than to watch children kill themselves through a screen.”

The two cousins laughed dryly at your sarcasm. Tigris then enthusiastically told you that the dress she was making for you was ready—and you grinned and told her you were incredibly excited to come see it. With that, she nodded and left to take her seat amongst the stands, wishing the two of you good luck.

Once she was gone, Coriolanus reached out to grasp your shoulder. Your talk with him last night plagued him for hours and hours when he should’ve been asleep.

“Did you sleep well?” you asked him, leaning into his touch when he brushed his knuckles against your cheek. “You look tired, Coryo.”

A wry smile. “Slept like a baby.”

It was a lie, and you knew it. You frown-smiled at him nonetheless.

He bent at the waist, tilted your face up to meet his, and kissed you square on the lips. Some of the students in the stand wolf-whistled, and it felt distinctly like Coriolanus was putting on a show for them, and for the cameras. And you were, well—you were an unwilling actor.

When he pulled away, he smiled at you and gestured to his seat in the corner. “Whatever happens, I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” you murmured. “Likewise.”

Coriolanus found himself wondering if you were hiding something from him. Why did it feel like you were drawing yourself away? Were you planning on sabotaging him?

Before he could dwell on it anymore, you gently nudged him off, as Lucky was beginning his opening remarks once again. He talked about the mystery behind Bobbin’s death (sending a cold tremor up Coriolanus’ spine), but moved on rather quickly to the stats board.

The few remaining mentors settled down and the rest of the students in the stands quieted to watch the games continue.

Not fifteen minutes later, commotion started brewing between Jessup and Lucy Gray. It was hisses and twitches from the boy at first, but then grew into explosive anger and panicked aggressiveness. Frightened, Lucy Gray began to doggedly run away from her friend, crawling out of the rubble-strewn tunnels and back into the main arena.

“Something’s wrong,” Lysistrata, Jesssup’s mentor, said. “He wouldn’t turn on her like this.”

You narrowed your eyes at the hazy screen. There seemed to be foam collecting at the corners of Jessup’s mouth as he chased after Lucy Gray, demanding to know what she’s done to him. The hazy memory of Lucy Gray at the zoo mentioning a bat bite resurfaced into your mind.

“It’s rabies,” you told the two. “The foam in his mouth. He’s got rabies—the bat bite in the train, remember?”

Coriolanus and Lysistrata’s eyes both widened.

“The same district folding in on itself!” Lucky announced into the microphone, and began rattling off some more unnecessary commentary.

“Send him water!” Coryo demanded Lyssie.

“What?” she asked, watching in horror as her tribute tried to make a grab for Lucy Gray, but she ducked away just in time.

Impatient, Coriolanus stood up and leaned over her desk with gritted teeth. “Remember the posters in the war? Rabies—it makes you afraid of water. Send him a drone!”

Lyssie’s mouth opened and closed. “That’ll scare him!”

“Yes,” he said, tapping on her monitor. “It’ll get him away from her. Jessup is done. And you’re the only one that can get it right to him.”

With a tight frown, Lysistrata reached forward to order a water drone. Lucky was preening with all the action.

“Thank you,” Coriolanus breathed out once her order processed through.

“Nothing to be proud of,” she said, scowling at the screen.

Lucy Gray was begging for her friend to snap out of it as she climbed up a fallen stone pillar, and screamed when a water drone came whizzing right past her ear, crashing into Jessup. Glass went flying every which way. The water had done its job scaring him—Jessup yelled and tittered with the sudden force. He fell backward and toppled right off the pillar. His body made a sickening crack as it came in contact with the ground. The audience exploded into cheers.

Horrified, Lucy Gray slid down the pillar after her barely-alive friend, hands shaking. A terrible sense of guilt washed over you.

“Jessup?” she asked, shaking his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. Okay? You watched over me, now I’m watching over you. Sleep now, Jessup. Sleep.”

Jessup’s death was slow and painful. Lyssie sent a bitter glance towards Coriolanus, before storming off.

But the horrors weren’t yet over for Lucy Gray—Coral and her pack appeared from behind a large pile of rubble, cornering her like coyotes would a lamb. They sneered and jeered at her.

You turned to look at Coriolanus, seeing his face crumple with desperation. His eyes flickered to you for a brief moment.

“Use your donations!” you called over. “She won’t fight, Coryo. You know that!”

With a frantic nod, Coriolanus snapped his gaze back to his monitor, and hurriedly pressed down on eight drones of water for his tribute.

“Mentors allying together in such troubling times!” Lucky exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. “Will it be enough to save the songbird?”

The little machines whirred into the arena at alarming high speeds, and crashed into the unassuming tributes surrounding Lucy Gray. She ducked and covered her head with shaking hands as water and glass and metal parts flew every which way.

“Hey!” one of the mentors exclaimed. “You can’t attack the tributes!”

“I’m just sending water,” Coriolanus retorted back, looking extremely relieved. Then, he looked back at you, and mouthed, thank you.

Taking advantage of the knocked down tributes, Lucy Gray rushed forward, grabbed a glass of water that remained miraculously unshattered, and ran off to hide behind another fallen pillar. You remembered that Coriolanus had given her rat poison—a part of you wanted her to use it to survive, and the other part of you hoped she wouldn’t ever touch it in fear of people finding out about Coriolanus cheating. That would spell the end of him.

Coral and her pack roused with groans and aches. They moaned about losing Lucy Gray, before setting their sights on Lamina and pursuing after her. It was a shame to watch her go, you thought, remembering the kindness she did for Marcus. She was stabbed in the abdomen (reminding you of your own bound bandages), and fell into a crumpled heap beside her district-mate.

While they were all busy going after her, one of the smaller screens caught Lucy Gray appearing back from behind the rubble, placing the full water bottle back on the ground. She hurriedly reached over to dump water out of any of the other bottles that hadn’t broken.

Lucy Gray managed to escape Coral just as she began to notice what she was doing, darting up some broken stairs and into a duct, latching it shut so they wouldn’t be able to follow her in. Lucky made a sullen comment about how there were no cameras set up inside there.

Coral and the pack retreated back down to survey all the water Lucy Gray had dumped out, save for the one single bottle. You wondered if said bottle was filled with rat poison, by any chance.

Since you had your gaze focused on one of the smaller screens, you hadn’t even noticed little Wovey emerging from a row of seats not too far away from where Lucy Gray was hiding inside the duct.

Your eyes frantically turned to the main screen when one of the pack members exclaimed, “It’s Wovey!”

“No, no…” you muttered, leaning forward in your wheelchair, ignoring the painful sting in your side. Wovey was quick to disappear back under the seats, scampering between rows and small gaps under fallen rocks so that they couldn’t follow after her. Twisted relief clawed at your chest and you heaved for breath when they muttered defeat and decided to go back down to the ground. The group began to dissolve into an argument, which thankfully kept them otherwise occupied from going back to hunt after other tributes. To none of your surprise, Coral ended up stabbing Mizzen right in the chest.

“And who do we have here?” said Lucky when the main screen changed to show a coughing girl emerging from her hiding place. “Ah! It’s Ill Dill. Tuberculosis on legs.”

Dill staggered towards the water bottle. Uncapped it and drank a few small mouthfuls. She coughed and wheezed. Lied down slowly, chest still rattling with coughs. It had to be poisoned, you concluded. To die right after taking that drink… it was far too much of a coincidence. Lucy Gray must have used the poison. You didn’t dare chance a glance back at Coriolanus, afraid you’d see cruel victory in his eyes.

Reaper ran out a minute later, calling out for Dill as he rushed to her. “Dill? Hey, what happened? Dill! Dill, wake up!”

And when he realized his district-mate was dead… Reaper let out a guttural scream. It echoed and ricocheted around the arena for everyone to hear. You frowned and tucked your arms closer to your sides.

To your surprise, Reaper began to move the dead tributes’ bodies to where Marcus and Lamina were. He laid each of them carefully beside one another. Fixed their positions and brushed the dirt away from their face. Dill first, then Mizzen. Then Bobbin by the entrance—to which none of the other mentors knew who killed except Coriolanus and… you.

Reaper tore down the long Panem flag hanging from the arena’s wall. The students burst into boos and derogatory yells. He dragged it over to the makeshift morgue and draped the dusty fabric over the corpses.

There was a lump in your throat as you watched him stand over the bodies he had so meticulously arranged. He gave the tributes one last shred of dignity when the Capitol—you included—had so monstrously stripped every bit of it away. You twisted in your chair to look at your mother in the stands. She had a hand over her mouth as she watched on, looking every bit as choked up as you.

Reaper gazed straight into one of the cameras and spread his arms. “Are you gonna punish me now?” he asked. “ARE YOU GOING TO PUNISH ME N—”

His yells were suddenly cut off by a breaking news announcement. They still echoed about the theater, and you still could hear Reaper’s strong voice in your head.

Volumnia Gaul sat stiff and menacing on the large screen, her single, beady blue eye seemingly ablaze with a cold fury.

“Capitol citizens, I’m afraid I must interrupt our Games to announce a tragic loss. One that affects us all. Felix Ravinstill, son of our beloved president, has this morning succumbed to his injuries sustained in the rebel bombing.” The screen changed to display a horrifyingly graphic image of Felix’s dead body covered in bruises and unhealed gashes. This was met with gasps and cries from the crowd. “Out there in the districts… they will be celebrating this young boy’s death as a triumph. I will not allow my Games to give our enemy such victory. I swear to you, here and now, before the sun goes down tonight, a rainbow of destruction will engulf our arena. Even if it means there’s to be no victor in these Games!”

Scandalized murmurs spread throughout the theater.

Your lips parted with shock. What was the point in having the Hunger Games without a victor? You turned to look at Coriolanus, who was looking every bit as distraught as you.

A rainbow of destruction, Gaul had said. He knew exactly what that meant. With a tight expression, he sat up and ran out of the theater. You watched him go with utter confusion, calling out his name, but your voice was drowned out over the sea of upset students.

Where was he going? To plea his case with Dr. Gaul or Highbottom? Or… no, he’d told you about the snake muttations Gaul had in her lab—while you were drowsy and delirious with pain, but you could remember it faintly—how they were rainbow in color, fast as lightning as they struck down Clemmie. Did that mean those snakes were going to be set loose in the arena?

Your heart skipped a beat. Wovey could hide from the other tributes, sure, but small, fast, and most likely deadly snakes? She wouldn’t stand a chance.

And what of Lucy Gray? What was Coriolanus planning on doing for her?

Fifteen minutes later, Coriolanus came running back in, sweaty and breathless. Just in time, because Coral and her pack were beginning to close in on Lucy Gray, stabbing spears through the vent flap. One of the boys down below the ducts began to cough and sputter, not in an unsimilar fashion to Dill, before collapsing down to the ground with a shudder, blood pouring out of his nose.

Rat poison. You were sure of it.

They stabbed at the duct some more until it buckled and broke under her weight, and she came crashing down. Hurriedly, Lucy Gray stumbled up to her feet, climbed over the dead body, and ran as fast as she could away from Coral. They were hot on her tail. Everyone watched with bated breath.

And then—the loud whirring of a carrier came descending down the center of the arena. A large, blackened cylindrical tank was being lowered into the center through the broken rooftop. You let out a shaky breath of petrification. Inside must’ve been the snake muttations Coriolanus told you about.

The few remaining tributes stared at the tank with wide eyes, too stunned to move.

“I’d wager that that is going to be no good.” Lucky smiled as he stared at the screen. “But wouldn’t it be fun if it was candy?”

Both the arena and the theater lapsed into utter silence.

Until—until little Wovey peered her head up from the seats. She’s so frail, was your first thought. Slowly, she began to climb out of the rows and hopped down broken pieces of stone to get back to the ground.

“Wovey—” you found yourself saying aloud. Many eyes drew to you. “No, no, no…”

You watched as the little girl walked towards the large black tank with wide eyes. She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her grimy hand. Reaper was warning Wovey to keep away, but the little girl was still moving closer.

“Is it over?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Can we go home? Please…”

“Fuck! Fu—shit, fuck! No, Wovey!” you frantically yelled as if she could hear you. Desperate to get her to stop going towards the tank, you looked down at your monitor.

Not many donations…

But enough to send a drone.

Maybe if you sent food—it’d distract her. Keep her away.

And so you began placing an order for a food drone, much to Lucky’s commentary delight. With shaking hands, you pressed confirm.

But there was one thing you hadn’t considered.

You hadn’t considered the drone coming in from directly in front of Wovey—with the tank right in its way. A whizz, a blur of silver metal, and murmurs of shock from the crowd. The machine drove itself against the glass tank and broke apart into a thousand pieces. Small red apples went flying every which way. Wovey stopped in her tracks for a moment.

It was a temporary relief.

A crack formed in the tank. And then—another splinter within the glass. And another, and another, and another. They formed a terrible sort of spider web.

“No,” you whispered, lips quivering. It was all your fault. “Oh, no.”

With that, the glass gave way to its fractures, and burst apart in a cascade of glittering shards. The snakes came tumbling out just as Dr. Gaul had said: a rainbow of destruction. They took down Wovey first as she screamed, slithering over her small body until you saw no part of her left. You had fallen silent, but your entire body ached as you violently shut your eyes, eliciting a hot tear to streak down your cheek.

“Not candy! Down goes Wovey!” Lucky announced, though he winced with an apologetic glance in your direction. “Sorry, Y/N.”

The rest of the snakes were quick to pick off Coral’s pack, and then Coral herself, who cried out that all those lives she took… they couldn’t have been for nothing.

They slithered around Reaper, who sat strongly by the pile of bodies he had arranged. He died alongside them as the serpents closed around his throat.

And that just left Lucy Gray.

“All colors lead to Gray!” Lucky announced, overly pleased with his wording.

Coriolanus smiled, victorious. “She’s—she’s won. It’s over. She’s won! Let her out!”

“Afraid that’s not your call to make, Mr. Snow,” said Lucky. He pointed over to Dr. Gaul, who was watching from the theater’s stands with crossed arms.

The students all murmured and gasped. Coriolanus looked around helplessly.

“Dr. Gaul, she’s won!” he asserted. “It’s over, let her out!”

Volumnia stared at the blonde boy with narrowed eyes, but said nothing.

And then… Lucy Gray began to sing as the snakes slithered their way to her. They coiled over her ankles and into the ruffles of her dress. Over her arms and around her stomach. Along her back and draped on her shoulders. She sang and sang, her voice strong despite the itchy dryness in her throat.

“Why aren’t they attacking her?” Festus Creed demanded.

Coriolanus set his jaw. “Must be the singing. It’s calming them.”

“She can’t sing forever,” he replied with an upturned nose.

Everyone in the audience watched, enraptured, as Lucy Gray sang her heart out, wrapped in iridescent snakes. You let out a shaky exhale, and another tear slipped down your face. Watching Wovey go was one thing—you didn’t want to watch Lucy Gray die, as well.

Anger rose in your throat.

You turned your wheelchair away from the screen—away from your damned monitor. It was your fault Wovey was dead. You wouldn’t watch Lucy Gray die, too.

“LET HER OUT!” you screamed at Dr. Gaul. Coriolanus flinched and stared at you with wonder, along with the rest of the student body. You bared your teeth in a pained snarl, and you let the tears freely fall. They were scalding against your skin, along with the multiple cameras that had turned right to you. “She won. Who’s going to donate to your Games next year if they know you’ll just kill their victor off? Let her out, Gaul!”

“Dr. Gaul, please,” Coriolanus pleaded, nodding at your words. “Let her out.”

“Get her out!” Tigris chimed along. Your mother voiced the same sentiment a second later, her face shining at you with pride.

One by one, students began yelling at Dr. Gaul to get Lucy Gray out of the arena until practically everyone was chanting along.

“Nobody’s going to watch your Games without a victor!” Snow told her over the swell of voices.

With a sharp scowl, she raised her hand. Almost immediately, the crowd fell into silence.

“Get her out,” she quietly grumbled to one of her assistants.

Lucky clapped and announced excitedly, “She’s won! Lucy Gray has won! Coriolanus Snow is the winner of the 10th annual Hunger Games!”

Victory music began playing throughout the theater—trumpets and drums and bells echoing into his ears as the students rushed down from their seats to congratulate him. Shaking his hand, slapping at his back, ruffling his hair. Tigris was at the front of it all, smiling at him so wide it was a wonder her face didn’t split into two. She wrapped him into a warm hug and he held her tight, laughing into her shoulder as the weight of realization fell against him.

He’d won.

Once he pulled away from his cousin, he pushed through the packed crowd to get to you. You were on your feet already, though your weight was leaning heavily against one of the handles of your wheelchair. You were positively overwhelmed by all the commotion around you.

He held your face with both his hands and kissed you in front of everyone. The cheers grew louder and louder, and Snow pulled away smiling wider than he ever remembered smiling before.

But when he looked at you again—truly looked at you—there were still tears spilling from your eyes. They didn’t look quite like tears of joy, either.

“She was thirteen,” you sobbed, curling against him. “Coryo, she was thirteen. It was my fault. My fault.”

Caught up in his own victory, he’d very nearly forgotten who you were talking about. It took him another second to realize that you were crying over Wovey. Irritation clawed at his chest and he frowned at you. You should’ve been congratulating him—not thinking about your silly dead tribute. What were you expecting? Hadn’t you known this was coming?

Nonetheless, he held you to his chest with empty words of comfort murmured into your ears, rubbing a palm up and down your back in a placating manner. He kissed your forehead and the crowd swooned with the romance of it all.

You jerked away from Coriolanus when you felt a distinct pain shoot up your stomach. You looked down, noting the darker red blotch in your uniform.

It seemed like you’d bled through your bandages again.

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pxrxcxa · 2 years

Text

Off Limits

✶ One shot - is a part 2 to untouchable but can be read as a stand alone

Pairing | Eddie x his best friends little sister

Post summary | You’ve been in love with Eddie since you can remember. When he refused to see you as anything except for his best friends, untouchable, innocent, little sister, you worked out a way to get him to look at you differently, now you deal with the fall out of it.

What to expect | Established friendship, mutual pining, jealous Eddie & reader, lots of tension - no use of y/n

Post Warnings | Drug mention, F oral, Fingering, voyeurism, public sex acts, slight choking - let me know if I missed any

Word count | 6 K

Pt 1 | Pt 3 |

Authors Note | Okay first of all - Tumblr was being a B and wouldn't let me post, so I had to refresh and lost all of the tagging I did (which took me for effing ever) I'm posting this and I'll tag everyone once I've had a goddamn ciggerate. Anyways, I wrote a long ass part 2 and then decided I wanted to halve it and make a part 3 because I have an unhealthy obsession with ending things on a cliff hanger (sorta) but it's written and proof read and will be posted 24 hours after this. I hope this lived up to everyones expectations

As always, any & all comments/reblogs are most appreciated - Love, P. x 🌿

I jumped at every sound that drifted down the entry hall, flipping through an open novel spread across the kitchen counter that I wasn’t paying attention to, as I re read the same paragraph for the fifth time. My nerves spiked and my fingers gripped the next page, in danger of ripping it from the spine of the book as the front door smacked open and my brothers voice rang out.

I hadn’t seen or heard from Eddie since what happened under his Hellfire table. He’d ushered his club out as soon as the campaign ended, providing me with a quick escape as I fled from the room and didn’t look back. I’d worried about what to say – or not to say – the next time he turned up with Trevor, but I shouldn’t have bothered panicking about it because Eddie had been ominously absent without an excuse.

I couldn’t very well go and ask my brother about it, his response making me choke up before I could even figure out the words, and I didn’t want to give myself away as the reason why Eddie might be avoiding me – and by extension Trevor. But tonight was movie night, and if Eddie missed this without a good enough reason – like a broken leg or death – Trevor would get suspicious.

I definitely had not changed my outfit three times and spent an hour on my makeup just in case Eddie turned up for tonight.

A shiver shot down my spine as I leant further over the counter, burying my head further into the book as I fidget, trying hard to look relaxed and unbothered as footsteps filled the empty hallway.

I couldn’t help my glance up as an unfamiliar footfall slapped against the linoleum.

“Umm… Hi?”

“Hey” The tall blonde smirked at me, helping herself to a drink from the fridge as her short mini skirt rode up her thighs. My stomach sunk as I watched her prance around the island bench, leaning on it as she popped open the soda can and glared at me over the lip of it.

“Who are you?” I hissed, slamming my book shut as I straightened up.

“Laura.” Her eyes flashed in surprise at my animosity and her smile was sickly sweet as she took a loud slurp, leaving makeup stains on the can.

“Right… and you’re here why?” I was afraid of the answer.

“Movie night.” She grinned and tossed her hair back as my face dropped, my lunch threatening to make a reappearance.

“Or a movie date, whatever you want to call it, we met at the Hideout.” At that moment she glanced towards the hallway, and I spun around to face what my anger was internally screaming at.

Eddie was hovering in the darkened entry space, turned towards the living room but facing to where I stood shaking in fury next to the stranger dressed like a whore in my kitchen. His brows knotted as he spared her a glance and his hand moved to rub at his jaw as his gaze reluctantly moved to mine.

I didn’t know what I expected, something along the lines of how he’d looked at me between his legs in front of his throne, or if he wanted to pretend it didn’t happen then maybe how he’d always looked at me, like a kid sister. The dark resolute of disinterest bordering on anger was not what I thought I was going to find when his glowering stare met mine.

Trevor chose that moment to burst through the doorway, shoving past Eddie as he came to stand around the bench. He slowed and rested his fist on the countertop as the thick tension hit him, his eyes flickering between our faces.

“You ready babe?” I spun around as he slid his arm around Laura’s waist, accepting her kiss eagerly as he scowled at me over her shoulder, not knowing what caused the awkward atmosphere but blaming me for it anyway.

“Wait she’s here for you?” My voice came out in an unplanned shocked screech.

“Obviously, who else?” He stared at me like he wouldn’t expect me to consider Eddie as a possibility. I tried to not be noticeable as I dropped my eyes from them and turned back to face him but he’d disappeared from the door frame.

“You joining us?” The microwave door creaked as Trevor slid a bowl of unpopped corn kernels into it.

“Uh yeah.” The whole situation had caught me off guard, and I’d answered without thinking.

I hesitated in the kitchen as my brother and what appeared to be his new girlfriend, giggled and groped at each other as the occasional pop echoed off the cabinets, I groaned and grabbed my water bottle as they started making out without shame, heading for the living room filled with the blue glow from the tv set that was geared up and ready to play Trevor’s horror movie choice of the night.

I waited for him to acknowledge me, but his eyes were glued to the paused screen, leaning his head into his arm perched on the side of the couch. I briefly considered taking up residence in the uncomfortable chair directly next to the tv and facing away from it, but that would look more suspicious to Trevor than sitting next to Eddie on the couch we always shared.

“Hi.” My voice was small as I gripped the bottle tighter to my chest, unsure where we stood after what happened between us. His eyes flashed to my face, softening as they moved behind me to see that I was alone.

“Hey you.” He allowed me half a smug smirk as I took a probing step forward, returning his smile with a careful one as my heart unclenched a little.

“Haven’t seen you for a bit.” I walked past his spread knees as I plopped onto the furthest end of the couch, trying to keep my eyes on his and not how tight his pants were around his hips as he stretched and tugged his jeans down an inch.

“Yeah, had some stuff to sort out.” He titled his head towards me as his stare burned into me, and even in the cold space between us, the night time sky seeping in through the open window casting long shadows over us, I could feel the suffocating zaps of electricity that flared between us.

It was strong enough to steal my breath away, too strong for me to have imagined it, and from the way Eddie’s eyes darkened as his eyes fell to my lips, he had to be feeling it to.

I opened my mouth to say something when the entry hall light flicked off and Trevor strutted into the room, bringing the strong smell of butter with him.

“Bunch up man.” He nodded at Eddie as he gestured for Laura to take a seat, handing her the bowl as he went to go grab the tv remote.

I heard Eddie’s low sigh as he balled up his hands and used them to push into the couch, propelling him towards my end as I shuffled up against the very edge of it. The room blackened completely as the screen went dark, the quiet static creeping through the speakers.

Fuck

In the darkness the tingling tension between us hiked up a hundred times more, almost palpable in the air. My breathing stopped, and from the way Eddie froze beside me as he went rigid from trying to keep the non-existent space between us, so had he.

The couch groaned under Trevor’s weight as he folded himself onto the opposite end of it, slinging an arm over Laura and pulling her into his side from where she was wedged between him and Eddie.

The screen lighted up, the words ‘based on a true story’ spread across it as it faded back into blackness and a scene of a happy couple making out at a lookout, took its place.

“Thought this was supposed to be a horror, not a romance Trevor.” Eddie hissed, digging his hand into his knee as he picked at the loose threads and grimaced at the display of affection in front of us.

“It is, dude.” Trevor glanced over the mound of blonde hair to shoot Eddie a concerned look. I burrowed down into the cushions away from Eddie, crossing my arms across my chest as I tried to melt away.

Any other night if I was sat in front of an R-rated movie, I’d be jumping and letting out little squeals the same as Laura. But I was too focused on snatching my hand back when it reached out to brush against Eddie’s thigh like it had a mind of its own, barely catching myself in time. I was literally having to remind myself to breath as every little shift that brought our bodies together, sent a flash of heat from wherever our skin touched.

He was driving me insane, but most infuriatingly of all was how unbothered Eddie seemed. Even though it felt like he was going to strenuous lengths to avoid touching me as much as possible, he was slouched in a relaxed position with his head leaning against the back of the couch, his hands resting in loose fists along the curve of his lap.

I swallowed hard as his lashes lowered against his cheeks, his breath fluttering from his parted lips as the mixed colours of gore from the tv, reflected off his sharp features prettily.

I’d turned my head too far and he noticed me, I dropped my gaze just as Eddie’s eyes slid to mine, watching my cheeks blaze in indignation at being caught. I felt his stare burning heat into me like an actual physical touch and I couldn’t help myself, I glanced back up shyly to find his almost black eyes focused entirely on me now.

The upturned corner of his lips twitched as a tight coil constricted around my chest, making it impossible to breath as his eyes trapped me. I caught my lip between my teeth as Eddie leant across my lap, his fingers brushed my knees as he swiped up the bundle of blankets at the corner of the couch.

“It’s cold.” He didn’t give the others a choice as he tossed a blanket into Trevor’s face, turning his back on him as he tucked the fleecy material into the contours of my body. I stayed as still as stone as Eddie draped it over my shoulders, his warm breath tickled my neck as he bent close to whisper in my ear.

“If you bite your fucking lip one more time, I’m going to do it for you.”

Fuck

I was lucky it was dark because my face was on fire, my breath blew past my lips in a shudder as Eddie sunk back against the pillows. A satisfied scoff vibrated through his chest as he lightly hung the rest of the blanket over his lap, his arms disappearing beneath it.

Spurts of red danced across the screen as the movie reached the point of the killer going on a spree, his victims screams bounced off the walls and drowned out my gasp as Eddie’s fingers brushed against my thigh.

His light touch traced across the fabric of my skirt, quickly moving down the side of my naked leg as my breath tumbled out in gasps. The thin blanket bunched up in my lap as I twisted it in my hands, gulping as Eddie’s fingers tips crawled over the top of my thighs, making his way to the blazing heat between them.

Eddie kept his eyes on the screen as he bantered back with Trevor over the low budget gore effects, squeezing my inner thigh until I relaxed and spread them apart for him.

I didn’t know what was in the air between us that made even the slightest touch feel like a lightning strike. But my body betrayed me as it became alert to every delicate brush of Eddie’s fingers, every inch that brought him closer to my drenched panties made me tremble against him.

I buried my groan by biting into my fist but he wasn’t so subtle. Eddie’s head fell back against his shoulders and let out a sigh through clenched teeth as his fingers slipped between my folds, flicking up and down through my slick as I anchored myself to the couch, holding on for dear life as his finger tip moved over my swollen bud, rubbing constant circles until my legs were shaking so hard the pillows beneath us started moving.

I whimpered as Eddie’s hand curved, pressing his first long finger inside of me, the intrusion burned slightly as he stretched me out before drifting off into a new sense of pleasure. I’d played with myself before, too many nights to remember where I pretended my smaller fingers were Eddie’s long ones, covered in bulky rings as they slammed into me.

But out of all the times I’d imagined this, I didn’t expect to have to have to swallow my cries because Eddie was secretly touching me in front of other people. Eddie laughed loudly to cover my moan as he slid a second finger deep into me, leaning forward over his lap to block me from view as I grabbed his wrists above the blanket, using him to keep me steady as the feeling of his hand threaten to send me over the edge.

“You’re actually enjoying the movie?” Laura scoffed, glaring at Eddie as I tried to blink through my tears of pleasure.

“Uh yeah, I actually really like what I’m watching.” He smirked, covering his mouth with his free hand as he glanced over at me through his thick lashes.

My head snapped back as I couldn’t stop the shudder and soft whimper that fled me as Eddie pushed up against a sensitive soft spot deep in my pussy. I squeezed my eyes and shook my head as Trevor asked me if the movie was too scary, not trusting myself to speak.

There was a roar of a chainsaw and Laura shrieked.

“Oh my god stop stop stop.” I scrambled as Eddie ripped his hand from between my legs, rubbing his jaw with the fingers still drenched in my essence as he glanced at my brother reaching for the remote. I used the distraction to shimmy my skirt back down my thighs, pinching the fabric of my panties to cover my slit again after Eddie had shoved it out of the way for himself.

He turned his head to look at me with alight eyes as my chest heaved and I sat up straighter, breathing deeply as I tore the blanket off my lap and let it fall to our feet, wanting to hide the evidence. Eddie grunted and curled over like he’d been punched in the gut as he glared at me, his hand pressed against his crotch.

I narrowed my eyes back confusingly at him before he huffed and his hands quickly dipped beneath his pant line, readjusting his hard on before the others noticed it straining against his jeans.

“I cannot believe you thought a double date watching a gross horror movie was a good idea.” Trevor’s face flared in anger as we all snapped our necks towards Laura and the boys almost yelled over each other.

“This is not a fucking double date –“

“-God no, she’s just Trevor’s sister.” Eddie shook his head with a look of – what I could only describe as disgust – clouding his face.

Just Trevor’s sister

The rush of air that was knocked from my chest was quiet, but he heard it. Eddie’s face was cold and devoid of any emotion, hiding whatever thoughts burned behind those pretty dark eyes as hurt flared in my face. That hurt quickly spiralled in anger as Trevor laughed like Laura had told the funniest joke in existence and she glanced between us in confusion.

I was only ever going to be the little sister. Nothing more, nothing less. Never my own person. The cold gut wrenching feeling of being used washed over me as everyone’s eyes settled on me.

Eddie had been right. He knew what guys wanted, what all guys wanted.

What he wanted.

My pathetically pining heart that had chased him for the last decade, cracked as I struggled with the realisation.

It didn’t matter how much I tried to fight and prove myself against the ‘innocent’ label they’d branded me with, because Eddie wasn’t going to feel anything genuine for me, he was just going to treat me like his little play thing.

I was such a fucking idiot

That knowledge made the corner of my vision turn red as my nails bit into my palms, the words falling from me without fear or hesitation.

“You know what Laura? I completely agree with you, it is a stupid idea. And I’m really glad that the guy that asked me to go out this weekend, doesn’t think I’d enjoy watching a horror movie under a blanket for a first date.” I spat the words at the shocked face of my brother and the stone cold, barely concealed simmering rage of Eddie’s. His eyes followed me as I launched myself from the couch, kicking his feet out of the way as I sped from the room before my building tears could fall.

The cold press wasn’t helping to dim the puffiness around both of my eyes, I slammed the wet cloth against the sink as I sighed and leant over it, glaring at my reflection in the mirror. My scream mutilated in my throat as I clutched my chest and spun around, cowering against the vanity as the pair of reflective eyes that scared me, emerged from the darkness.

Eddie hovered in the doorway with a grim expression, anger tightening the corner of his mouth as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You’ve been crying.” His voice didn’t reveal anything as he pointed out the obvious.

“Clearly, genius.” I swallowed as my eyes roamed over his bare chest, flitting away as he shifted and his plaid pyjama pants dipped lower against his v-line.

“What’s wrong?” His jaw clenched as he stumbled over the question, his eyes flaring with the answer he knew was coming.

“Why would you bother asking me that? I’m just Trevor’s little, innocent, stupid sister.” For the first time real anger flowed between us, pure undiluted rage as I stood my ground, copying his stance as I cocked a brow at him, daring him to deny the truth.

“Untouchable. Remember?” My hushed yell was still far too loud in the quiet house, cutting through the darkness as something burned in Eddie’s eyes and tears threatened to make a reappearance in mine.

“I never said you were stupid.” His face blazed with his own anger now as he took a few steps towards me. I backed into the few inches of space I still had behind me, needing to stay away from him to keep my head clear.

Eddie muttered my name as my eyes closed on their own, squeezing shut tighter and his rough, cold hands cradled my face.

“Open your eyes.” He demanded, pressing his hold on me as I shook my head. They flew open in shock and widened as Eddie’s chest pressed against mine, feeling it expand as he sucked in a deep breath and tilted his face towards me.

He was so close it was hard to look up at him, his lips moved closer to me as he whispered his question, the words vibrating through both of our bodies as he pressed me to him.

“What do you want?” It was barely a sigh, sending my mind blank as the minty smell of him washed over me. Eddie’s lashes brushed his cheeks as they focused on my quivering lips, patiently waiting for an answer that I couldn’t comprehend.

I caved

I couldn’t resist him

Even if he only wanted what every guy wanted

“You.” I didn’t say it, I just mouthed the word because Eddie’s dark stare had stolen the power of speech from me.

“Say it again. Louder.” His jaw flexed as our shaky breaths mingled, our lips moving closer together as his loose hair brushed past my collar bones. He paused, just as his bottom lip caressed mine and my knees gave out.

Eddie’s arm slid around my waist to keep me upright and the corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to force his smirk away.

“Say it.”

“You.” Eddie’s lips encased mine.

His heat flooded through me as they moved in a way that I’d only ever read about in my romance novels. They were softer than his hair looked, firm but they moved perfectly in sync with mine. God, the taste of him was more than I could have imagined, somehow a perfect mix of his cologne and weed and cigarettes and our peppermint mouthwash.

He was everywhere, his hands touching each bare patch of skin that I needed him to as I gave in completely, twisting my hands in his hair to pull him closer to me as I revelled in finally having our first kiss, never wanting to feel the cold air between our lips again.

Eddie groaned in response to my own one that tumbled from my lips, gripping the fabric of my shorts at my hip until I was afraid he was going to tear it away, his free hand trapped the side of my face, tilting my head up so he could attack my neck.

Each gentle bite followed by a kiss elected a desperate moan from me, flowing faster from me before I could stop them, almost like Eddie was chasing after them and finding pleasure in each sound he forced from me. My head rested back against the mirror with a sigh as his lips traced across my collar bone, teasing at the base of my neck as his hand brushed past the side of my breast, seeming almost like an accident until I spotted the smirk on Eddie’s face.

His hand tightened behind my ear and the nape of my neck as our eyes met, Eddie rose to his full height as an electric bolt shot through me from where our bare skin touched, straight to between my legs.

A tremor of cold reality washed over as his hand moved to trace the outline of my lips and I remembered where his fingers had been only a couple of hours ago. His face dropped as I gasped and lightly shoved at his shoulders, slipping out of his grip as I pulled up the strap of my shirt that Eddie had sneakily slipped off my shoulder.

“Don’t do this. Please, if you don’t care about me, don’t act like you do. I’m not some whore you can have when you want.” I couldn’t hold his stare as my breath quivered from me, sounding embarrassingly like I was going to cry as Eddie gripped the sides of the vanity beside me and leaned over it, forcing me to bow back against it and look up at him.

His jaw was clenched and his eyes flashed dangerously, Eddie ran his tongue along his bottom lip as his stare flicked between mine, trying to read something in them as his brows creased angrily.

“You have no idea how much I fucking care about you.”

I refused to believe him

“Like a sister.” I mumbled.

Heat flashed up my arm as Eddie wrenched it away from his chest, pressing my fingers against his hard length hidden beneath his pants. I glanced up at him as he let out a hollow sigh, smiling without humour as he shook his head.

“I haven’t stopped being hard since you decided to hide under that fucking table. I haven’t been able to stop thinking you. You have no idea-.” Eddie tilted his forehead until it was pressing against mine, letting his eyes fall shut as he loosened his grip around my wrist.

I kept my hand pressed against him, my cheeks blushing as I waited.

“-what you do to me. Fucks sake you pretty, silly girl. I tried to stay away because I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. Look what happened tonight, I thought I could handle seeing you but I fucking can’tstay away from you. I love Trevor like a brother, and because of that, you’re off limits.” Eddie dropped his grip completely and took a step back, shaking his head to clear it as he stared up at the ceiling, clenching his fists together before he yanked them through his hair roughly.

Eddie glanced back down at me with a sad smile as I froze, soaking up every syllable.

“Like a sister.” He mocked me. “You’ve got no idea how hard it is not to corrupt you. I was able to stay away from you for ten years, but you just had to prove how bad you actually are didn’t you?” Eddie shook his head again, his hand squeezing my cheeks until my lips mushed together.

“Not so innocent, am I?” White, hot pleasure cut through me. I’d won

Eddie groaned and threw his head back, muttering the word Succubus

“The things I want to do to you, what I dream about doing, what I need to do to you. You don’t do that to a sister.” Eddie took a few more steps back, like he needed the space between us as a foreign heat spurred me across the tiles of the bathroom a couple of paces.

“Like what?” I demanded, excitement urging me on as the walls between my legs fluttered at his words.

“That’s not the sort of thing I should tell someone like you.” Eddie wrapped his hands around my wrists to pull them away as I reached up to cup his face, pinning them between us as he smirked at the pout on my lips.

“Someone like me?” I scowled.

“Virgin.” Eddie grinned widely, whispering the word like he was embarrassed.

“How would you know.” I shot back, flinching away from him.

“Because from the first day I met you, I haven’t taken my eyes off you. Trust me, I would know if you weren’t one anymore.” Eddie’s eyes flashed a warning in them as his face coloured, his chest heaving as he ran his gaze over my body.

“Show me.”

“What?” I enjoyed catching him off guard for a split second before I pushed forward, refusing to lose my false sense of confidence.

“Show me… what you want to do to me.” My voice sounded heavy with lust even to my own ears, a blush creeping up my neck as Eddie halted.

Eddie’s hands fell to my hips as he pushed me back against the counter, kicking the bathroom door shut with his heel as he lifted me onto the counter behind us, sliding my legs apart as he moved between them.

“That’s it. Keep those pretty eyes on me.” My breaths were shallow as Eddie dipped against my chest, biting at my breasts beneath the thin fabric of my shirt as he moved across my stomach, his hands tracing the trails of fire that his mouth left behind.

My head pressed back against the cold surface of the mirror as I knotted my hands in Eddie’s hair, holding onto him to keep me on earth as his face pressed against my slit covered by my pyjama shorts.

I wasn’t wearing panties and Eddie knew that. His eyes glinted up at me as I peeked down, shutting my eyes and throwing my head to the side as he pressed his nose against me and rubbed it against my swollen clit, laughing deeply as I trembled and hooked my legs around his back to trap him against me. Eddie pushed my thighs up further until they were resting on his shoulders and I was sitting half off the vanity, my pelvis angled perfectly towards him as he looked at me like I was edible.

“So goddamn corruptible.” Whatever snarky response I might have had, died on my lips as Eddie devoured me like a mad man. His lips latched around my clit as he tugged slightly, grinning into my thigh as a loud moan slid out of my chest. He squeezed my legs and shushed me before he brought his tongue to my puffy lips drenched in my own arousal and his saliva, spreading the mixture around and burying his face in it as I twisted beneath him and tugged his hair up towards me, begging for him to suck on my clit again as I whimpered.

“Please Eddie please.” I arched away from the mirror as I reached up to cup my own breasts, surprising myself as I pinched and twisted my hard nipples until I was crying out from both the pain and the laps of pleasure Eddie’s tongue was erecting from me.

“Uhh I’m fucking powerless if you beg.” He rolled his eyes as he moved higher on his knees, digging his fingers into the tops of my thighs as his teeth dragged along my throbbing bud, each tug from his mouth made my legs ache to snap shut and trap him there forever.

The mirror steamed up as heat billowed around us, a lusty concoction of my moans and Eddie’s grunts and the erotic sounds of his tongue on my pussy was enough to suffocate us both.

Something tightened just below my stomach, forcing my eyes shut as my legs twitched and I froze, almost seizing as Eddie’s tongue circled around my clit as his longest finger slid inside of my drenched hole easily, almost like he recognised some unseen cue to go faster.

His free hand that wasn’t working between my legs shot up to shove his fingers in my mouth so that my gag muted my scream, coating my tongue in the sticky residue that his hand had fucked out of me.

It all happened at once, something invisible broke inside of me and my legs snapped shut against the sides of Eddie’s face, my crossed ankles digging into the middle of his back as I arched up off the mirror, ripping his hair from the roots as my lips locked around a silent scream and choked on his hand.

Waves of immense pleasure, nothing like I had ever been able to elicit out of my body myself, destroyed my composure. This feeling came deep from within my soul, no, Hell.

It had to come from Hell because nothing could so devilishly intoxicating, I would ruin my soul searching for this feeling for the rest of the time.

As quickly as it came, it was over. I slumped against the vanity as I melted, my eyes ringing and blocking out Eddie’s question as he rose to his feet, grinning as he wiped the wetness from his chin and wrapped his hand around my ass, crushing me to him as he dipped his head down to me.

“You still think I’m innocent?” My hypothetical question came out groggy, like I was drunk as I clasped my fingers around the back of his neck. I couldn’t help the stupid grin on my face as I shivered, unable to block out the tingling between my thighs as my internal walls fluttered around nothing, begging for something.

“You just came on my face, what do you think?” His grin was twice as wide as his lips moved to mine.

“Yo Eddie, is that you in there?” Eddie’s face froze inches from mine as Trevor’s voice rung out from the hallway, his heavy footsteps thudding against the carpet runner as he headed towards the bathroom.

“Uh yeah man, just taking a piss.” I jumped as my brother’s fist pounded down against the wooden door, flinching as it rattled on its hinges. Eddie’s face was an exact image of fear the same as mine, as we tensed in each other’s arms.

“Well I’m gonna smoke if you wanna come.” There was a pause as Eddie’s eyes snapped shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose, I could see his thoughts ticking over as my head swam, my thoughts turning foggy from the breath I refused to let go off.

I tightened my hold around his shoulders as Eddie’s hands gripped my sides, lifting me off the bench and placing me with a feather light touch next to where the door would swing back on. His hand wrapped around my mouth as he turned towards the closed doorway.

“I’m going to tell him.” His words were barely more than a whisper as resolve hardened in his eyes, speaking more to himself than me as my face narrowed in shock.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.” Eddie’s eyes flashed back to mine as his hand dropped to my throat, not tight enough to hurt but he squeezed it until my core throbbed for him again. Eddie mashed his lips to mine, wiping the smile off my face as his free hand cradled the curve of my cheek softly, he pulled away only to whisper in my ear.

“You’re not going on that date this weekend.” Eddie’s smirk disappeared from my shocked glance as he placed a soft kiss at the side of my neck, leaving me alone with my shiver as cold air replaced his hold and he tugged the door open, wide enough to slip through but still hiding me and my reflection, from view.

“You been jerking off in there or something?” I pressed both hands against my mouth as my knees shook, my brothers voice barely audible over the roaring in my ears.

“Yeah, couldn’t help myself.” There was a tinge of nerves and annoyance in his voice that Trevor didn’t pick up on, drowning in his forced laugh and my brothers boisterous one.

“You need a girl man.” It sounded like Trevor slapped Eddie on the shoulder and I glanced up in the mirror.

Eddie’s pained and honest stare met mine in the reflection as he glanced over his shoulder, a war raging in his face as he pulled the door closed behind him.

“Believe me, I’m trying.”

Part Three

Also readers - if anyone’s looking for a slow burn Eddie x enemies to lovers, check out my Opposite Ends series (almost completed)

#untouchable #off limits #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie smut #eddie munson x female reader #eddie x reader #eddie imagine #Eddie brothers best friend #eddie x y/n

5K notes · View notes

cc--2224 · 30 days

Text

Asking For Help

Pairing: Platonic Tech & F!Reader

Summary: You decide to stay in bed to deal with the pain you're experiencing. The Batch notices and sends Tech to check on you.

Warnings: Reader kind of described as AFAB as fic deals with period pain. But other than that, pure fluff! It can 100% be platonic.

Word Count: 918

Notes: Does the Bad Batch understand anatomy? Probably. Was it more fun to make them panic? Absolutely. I mostly wrote this for me as I took the day off work for this exact reason 😂 no real proofreading.

Taglist: None, let me know if you'd like to be added!

Masterlist

The Marauder's cockpit seemed weirdly empty without you, and everyone noticed your absence. You hadn't been with Clone Force 99 for very long, but when you spend all your time with the same people for four months, they start to worry when you're not being as social as you normally would.

"Where is she?" Hunter finally asked, looking at the empty seat you normally occupied.

Wrecker shrugged, "I tried calling her this morning for breakfast but she didn't leave her room."

"Is it not obvious?" Tech asked, eyes not leaving his datapad. "She exhibits this behaviour roughly around the same time each month."

He thought he was giving everyone the answer, but their confused faces told him that he wasn't.

"She is mostly likely menstruating."

"In Common, Tech." Wrecker said.

Crosshair rolled his eyes, "She's on her period. It's not the end of the world."

Eyes turned back to Tech for an explanation, and he sighed.

"Do none of you pay attention to the anatomy manuals? People who are biologically female go through this process nearly every month. Their body prepares itself for an egg to be fertilized, but when it is not, it begins to shed the excess in the form of blood and uterine lining. Typically resulting in side effects such as; mood swings, pelvic cramps, lower back pain, and headaches to name a few."

Wrecker looked shocked, "And they do this every month? That sounds painful."

Tech shrugged, "I couldn't say, from my understanding, each person reacts differently."

"Shouldn't we check on her? Make sure she's okay?" Hunter asked.

"She does it every month with or without us, I don't see how now is any different." Crosshair pointed out.

"Yeah but, we're her friends, we should help if we can."

Wrecker looked back to Tech, "You know the most about it, you go see if she's okay."

Expectant looks all pointed in Tech's direction and he shook his head. "Fine, I suppose I could inquire after her."

Truthfully, Tech was also concerned for you, even though he had a vague understanding of what was going on. He found your presence soothing, and the Marauder seemed more cheerful with you around. And it was his nature to want to solve any problems that arose, so he wanted the chance to do that now.

He got up from his seat and walked toward the refresher to look for a hot compress and some painkillers so that he might actually be of assistance before cautiously walking toward your room.

He knocked quietly.

"...Yeah?" You croaked from inside the room.

"It's Tech, may I come in?"

You didn't answer immediately but then after a few seconds you spoke, "Door's unlocked."

He pressed the button to open the door before stepping in and letting it close behind him. He frowned slightly when he was you curled up on your bunk with your arms around your stomach.

"I take it I was correct then, you are menstruating."

"Yeah." You replied a little too harshly. "Did you need something?"

"It appears your absence went quite noticed this morning and the others are worried about you."

"So they sent you to check on me?"

He adjusted his goggles, "Well, even though I had suspected what the issue was, I suppose I was also worried."

You didn't say anything, but you moved slowly, creating room for him to sit down on your bunk, he sat on the edge.

"I have brought you a compress and painkillers, if you are interested. I have heard they help to alleviate any cramping and pain associated with it." He handed both to you.

You smiled at his gesture and took the painkillers first. "Thank you," you swallowed two of them down with water from the canteen beside your bunk, then you took the heat compress and hugged it to your stomach.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" He asked, looking down at you.

You looked at him then looked at your pillow and shook your head.

"Very well, I will check up on you later then." He announced before standing up and walking toward the door.

"Wait.." You called out. He turned to look at you. "Can you stay.. with me?"

His expression went from surprised to a gentle smile, and he nodded. "Of course."

He walked back over to your bunk and returned to his seat on the edge.

"Can we- er... Can you hold me?" You asked, so quietly that he thought he might have misheard you.

"You'd like me to hold you?" He repeated.

His need for clarification caused blood to rise to your face in embarrassment.

"If-if that's okay, actually, nevermind I-"

But before you could finish your rambling, Tech crawled into the bunk next to you, holding you so your back was firm against his chest.

You sighed into him and closed your eyes as he began drawing idle shapes on the skin of your shoulder.

"Thank you, Tech." You repeated.

"You are welcome, but your gratitude is unwarranted. We are your friends, we want to help you. Anytime you need us, you do not need to be afraid to ask for help, no matter what ails you.”

You smiled once more. With the heat both from the compress and Tech pressed against you and the painkillers beginning to kick in, you felt yourself finally begin to drift off to sleep. Despite his protests, you were truly grateful to have friends who cared about you, no matter what was going on.

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wheneclipsefalls · 15 days

Text

Grovel Part 2

Pairing: Aged Up Lo'ak x Fem Omatikaya Reader

Part 1

Summary: Lo'ak needs a plan. A plan that will bring you back to him.

Warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, lust, pinning, angst, past relationship, mentions of war, injury, etc.

“Stop whining.” Neteyam groaned, watching as Lo’ak secured another tie around the fabric’s base. The kelku was coming together nicely.

“I didn’t say anything.” Lo’ak all but huffed, lips turned downwards in the same fashion they had been since the celebration. He adjusted the straps of his loincloth, a trail of sweat racing down his spine. Oh how he already missed the refreshing waves of salt water.

“Your expectations were truly far too high, brother. What did you think she would do?”

Lo’ak shot him a seething look, one that warned against pushing it further, but brothers were immune to such limits.

“You’re lucky you made it out of there without injury. And now knowing what you did I can’t say I would have blamed her otherwise.”

“Yes Neteyam, I understand. Now can you shut up and help me lift the other end?” Lo’ak stomped past him, preparing the right side to be lifted. He didn’t wait for Neteyam to join him before using his own body weight to heave the heavy fabric into place. The younger Sully brother had been hyper fixated on his kelku since their arrival, even going as far as asking Kiri for advice on potential decoration.

This home had to be good enough to meet your fancy, an objective that he now understood to be much harder than originally anticipated.

“Mawey, baby brother. I am only trying to get your skxawng ass to understand.”

“Okay then fine!” The fabric was dropped to the floor in a heap. “Tell me what I should do. Since you know the ins and outs of wooing women, tell me how I am supposed to win her back.” His brows lifted, hands placed on his hips as he feigned bracing for his answer. Neteyam was not fazed by his younger brother’s outburst. After seeing Lo’ak’s restlessness the whole trip home in anticipation of seeing you, he was surprised the male was holding up as well as he was.

“I may just be a simple gentleman, bro, but I think an apology would be a good place to start.” He squeezed his brother’s shoulder, surprised when Lo’ak was too lost in thought to bother wrestling him off.

“I’ve tried. Everywhere I go she is avoiding me. I don’t even know where her kelku is or her routines. Otherwise-”

“Maybe I can help with that.”

Lo’ak sent him a skeptical look.

“What?” He deadpanned.

“She has a sister, right?” A completely rhetorical question that had Lo’ak knowing exactly where Neteyam was going with this. “Say the right words and maybe I can get some valuable help from Talu.”

“Wow. How did I deserve a brother like you?” Sarcasm dripped from his tone as he ran a hand over his face. It was no secret that Neteyam had taken a liking to Talu. The future Olo’eyktan was neither bashful nor shy when it came to playing the golden suitor.

Neteyam simply grinned before slapping him on the back and helping to hoist the kelku side once more.

You were impossible. So hard headed and stubborn that even knowing your route and home was not enough to get in a good apology. He was sure by now that Talu knew of his intentions with you, that giddy smile forever present whenever she announced his presence to you, but there was always an excuse to cut things short. Only a few minutes and you would be running off to aid at the healer’s tent or pick up the hunting gear you had left behind.

There was no end to the list of excuses you could formulate.

And it didn’t matter that neither himself nor Talu were fooled. You simply weren’t inclined to put more effort into hiding your disdain.

Lo’ak couldn’t remember you being this difficult before. When the two of you were younger you had handed your heart over to him on a silver platter. Of course your weird friendship had been full of teasing, pranks, and insults but that was only part of the fun. Once romance had been initiated, you took everything he gave with warmth and affection.

And he had ruined that.

He let out another sigh, trying to play it off when his mother gave him the side eye. His new bow was almost finished, surely the right weapon he would need to fetch an impressive kill. Perhaps he would use his spear too just in case. If he was going to win you over, it would need to be something extreme. Something that said all the words you would not let him get out.

At this point he was willing to take down a Palulukan if that is what it took.

He snorted at the thought. It may have been a few years since hunting on Omatikaya soil but he knew that thing would have him torn in two. Maybe then he would get your attention, whatever remained of his body finally being enough to crack your tough composure.

And then….

What started out as a ridiculously funny thought transformed into a new idea. A new plan. There was in fact one place that you could not run away from.

The healer’s tent had been slow in mid afternoon but luckily you were the only one on duty. When he walked through the tent flaps reverently, not bothering to hide the wince as his freshly torn up skin brushed the fabric, your lips parted. For a moment it seemed that concern swam in those beautiful eyes but then they were turning back into cold steel like that night at the festival.

“Kind of underestimated the swoop-”

He was cut off by your stern point to the space in front of you. He followed obediently but on the way he couldn’t help but let his gaze roam over your exquisite form. He had meant what he had said that first night. You were more beautiful than the day he last saw you, a goddess-like creature even his wildest dreams could not have imagined.

Today you wore a turquoise top made of small beads that were strung together to hang like vines. The color reminded him of the waters in Awa’atlu. Could that be your favorite color now? If so, he knew of so many places such gems and shells of that color. He could collect more for you. The beads mocked him, however, as their light weight cover just barely fell over your pretty nipples, one breath away from revealing the prize.

Hell, he was sure the right puff of air from his lips could push away those teasing beads.

As you began to work on applying ointment to his wounds Lo’ak forced himself to look away. However, he couldn’t find reason to not occasionally peak back and get a look at your pretty face. By Eywa, it was a true miracle that no one had snatched you up yet. Maybe he would thank the Great Mother for that gift at the Tree of Souls later.

At one point your diligence fell and strayed from the wounds to glance at him instead. He flashed a grin, one that didn’t match the state of his bloody back. You shoved his head to look forward roughly but he had already caught a glimpse of your rosy cheeks.

“You got injured how again?”

“Flying error, it’s been a while. Why?”

“No reason.”

Silence fell and Lo’ak had to keep himself from fumbling with his messy bun. You may be difficult now but one thing was still true. You always wore your heart on your sleeve.

“You don’t have to be worried, sevin-”

A sharp smack to the back of his head and Lo’ak couldn’t hide his surprised laugh.

“Damn, you’ve got a pretty good backhand.”

“Hush. I am trying to concentrate.”

It was sure to be a lie. His wounds were nothing in comparison to what you must have encountered during the war and with your experience you would have him healed and out in a few minutes. But then that meant he only had a very small window to squeeze this apology into.

“Don’t worry, I will behave.” He raised his hands in surrender but received only a little hum from you in response. “But while we’re here there is something I’ve been wanting to say.”

Lo’ak hissed when the ointment was applied harshly to his deepest cut. It was nothing he couldn’t handle after so many war wounds but it did manage to lose him a few seconds of precious time. Had that been your intent?

“When we were kids I was…an absolute skxawng.” No argument came from you and Lo’ak glanced back from the corner of his eye. “I was more than a skxawng actually. I was reckless and angry and I didn’t even think about how my actions would affect others. Especially you and-”

“I don’t care. It is done.” Without Talu’s presence there was no incentive to dampen the ice in your voice.

“Y/n,” He called your name softly, turning to grab your wrist and stop the movement. “I am sorry. I never should have hurt you like that. I knew better, especially….” He let out a deep sigh through his nose. “Especially considering how much I truly did love you.”

You yanked your wrist back as if his grip was red hot. Scrambling away slightly, he could see the control you had over the moment slipping. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to push it further, get you to accept his apology.

Unfortunately for him, Eywa must have decided that it was also the perfect time for the next healer to enter the tent.

“There were hardly any herbs left by the river. Next time we try the mountains instead.” Penyau said, the smile on her face slowly dropping once sensing the tension in the room.

“Great. Lo’ak needs patching up, sister.”

“Oh, well then-”

“No, no. Y/N is already on it-”

“I’m passing you over.”

“You truly don’t care to finish healing the Na’vi that was put under your care?” Not the angle he wanted to take, but he was panicking. So desperate to get a few more minutes with you that he had to stop himself from using his grandmother as a scapegoat to keep you here.

From the way your jaw clenched and tail curled he knew those cards would not have played well for him.

“Talu is waiting. I leave.” You gritted out. Not a second to make another attempt or ever apologize before you were past the threshold and leaving him in the dust. Or at least, leaving him with Penyau who looked confused but more than happy to assist him. The smile she gave, however, did not hold the same sweetness as yours.

Or at least the smile he remembered from all those years ago.

He prayed he would see it again soon.

A part of you wanted to insist upon staying home. Well no, all of you wanted to insist but if there was one thing you had learned from working with Mo’at is that there was no hope in defying her. If she saw it fit to bring you to the council meeting then that is exactly what you would have to do. Jake Sully was back as Olo’eyktan and with that came his sons’ attendance too. You were not foolish enough to hope otherwise, but there would surely be others there you could occupy your time with.

Even Tarsem had become a close friend of yours, as close as a clan member can dare to get to an Olo’eyktan, but conversation would be light and easy with him. If you were lucky perhaps you would be able to leave the meeting early as your sector of concern was far more narrow, giving you a chance to escape the inevitable small talk afterwards.

Luck, however, was not on your side. It seemed that Mo’at had deemed you her scribe for the meeting and that meant taking up every single detail presented. It was borderline impossible with the way Lo’ak’s eyes constantly strayed towards you. You’d think the male would have the decency to keep his staring at a minimum for public appearance.

Of course Lo’ak had never been afraid of attention.

That trait evidently had remained with him after all these years.

“Morning shift can circle northbound while overlapping with the afternoon watch.” Jake continued, using a twig to draw over their makeshift map in the dirt. It felt like he was speaking another language with the way your brain refused to concentrate. Jake might as well have switched into English with the rate you were comprehending.

“Lo’ak and Neteyam will be available by the end of the week once everything is settled in.”

You were so lost at this point it wasn’t even funny. Mo’at was going to have your head. As if sensing your confusion, the younger Sully brother said softly, “yes, for teaching.”

It didn’t clear things up much but Lo’ak had decided to start tying his hair back up into that damn bun again and you found yourself more dazed than in the beginning. Out of pure will power you resisted the urge to watch him dead on, unlike him. Watching those biceps stretch as he worked to wrestle those braids was still possible from your peripheral.

Another twist in your stomach.

Lo’ak relaxed backwards, long legs stretched out in front of him as Jake Sully continued his long speel. The meeting could have dragged on for centuries for all you knew and yet that twisting coil in your stomach never loosened. You felt like you were about to snap when the Olo’eyktan finally called for dismissal.

Up to your feet in a matter of seconds, Mo’at shot you a strange look. The tips of your ears burned as you tried to play it off and wait patiently for her. The meeting may have been over but that didn’t mean you were meant to leave her side. Most likely she would have other work for you to accomplish this afternoon and even if not it would be rude to not walk your Tsahik back to Home Tree.

“I’ve got it, grandmother.” Lo’ak easily switched Mo’at’s basket over to rest on his own hip. She gave him a nod and pat on the shoulder.

Swinging the netted bag of herbs and medicinals over your shoulder you focused primarily on the path ahead.

“Let me get that, sevin.” Lo’ak reached for your bag but with flaming cheeks you barely managed to deflect his advances and snap away.

The effort was pointless however when Mo’at gently grabbed the bag from your shoulder and handed it to him. An almost imperceivable smirk graced her lips at your perplexed expression but otherwise she remained silent. Slightly baffled and now avoiding Lo’ak’s unrelenting attention you veered to pick up the pace.

Now that he held your bag hostage there was no choice but to let him follow you both back to the healer’s tent. At least that’s what you thought until….

Mo’at let out a tired sigh and that was all it took for Lo’ak to insist she go home and get some rest. He assured her he would get the supplies back to the tent and walk you home safely, both actions that made you glare at him over her shoulder. The Tsahik, tired or not you couldn’t be sure, bid you farewell and gave her grandson another gentle squeeze to his shoulder.

The second she was out of sight you went for your bag. Lo’ak easily swiped away from your grabbing hands.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”

Despite his warm smile he was only met with unspoken annoyance that seeped into the atmosphere’s tension. If he wanted to walk you home, fine, but you were going to get it done in record time. Without another word you scrambled up the nearest tree, deciding to take the overhead route to avoid traffic.

You could hear the clanking bags and basket as Lo’ak had to find ways to follow behind with only one arm to propel himself upwards. You secretly resented the way he managed just fine, despite the obstacle, long legs rushing over branches like they had only left the forest for a day.

“Is your plan to avoid me forever?”

Teeth grinding together you grabbed hold of another branch over head and propelled yourself up the next level. This time was more of a struggle, several vials almost falling out of the basket but that only earned him one concerned glance before you were striding forward once more.

“I meant what I said yesterday. I truly am sorry.”

“Yes, I heard you.” The tempo you set with your feet borderlined running. Lo’ak’s struggle became ever more apparent as the two of you scaled higher.

“Well yes I know that…shit!” A vial slipped from the basket, Lo’ak immediately lunged to catch it. You carried forward, trying not to think about how he almost lost the precious herbs that took you weeks to find and gather. “Got it!” He called but you were already several branches above.

With this head start you may just be able to outrun the Omatikaya prince and make it home safely.

Distant curses sounded from below followed by scrambling feet.

When will he ever give up?

It’s hard to say what Lo’ak did during his time with the Metkayina but you were surprised, and slightly displeased, to see how capable Lo’ak had grown in his tree climbing. Although, now he had found a way to shimmy himself up a trunk with only his muscular legs to aid. The sheer athleticism required to do such made your head spin and cheeks heat.

Straight home.

No detours.

“Y/N, wait up.”

He was closer than you would have liked, no doubt a result of your short attention span.

“Come on, sevin. Does your determination to ignore me really warrant all of this?”

Your temper was always an easy one to flare and when it came to Lo’ak Sully it seemed he had written the manual on how to light that flame. Turning on your heel, Lo’ak had to grind to a quick halt in order to avoid running into you again. It felt all too familiar to the celebration the other night so this time you spoke before he had a chance to get a word in.

“Maybe so, but what does it matter to you?!” Nostrils flaring and breathing heavily it was no longer possible to hide how fast the male had gotten under your skin.

“It’s admittedly more difficult to court a woman that won’t even let me be in her presence.”

The savage words on the tip of your tongue stuttered and your treacherous body rippled with excitement.

“You aren’t courting me.”

“Well, I suppose that’s fair. I technically have not initiated courting yet.”

“No Lo’ak, you will not court me. Ever.” Words like unbending steel the male’s eyes locked with your own and this time you found ways to not balk under his attention. When it seemed that nothing else was going to be said you turned on your heel once more.

And then Lo’ak finally spoke.

“I don’t see how you could stop me.” He murmured gruffly but the words immediately struck your temper like daggers. A bullseye shot.

“Lo’ak Te Sulli-”

“Sevin, just listen for two seconds!”

“Do not call me that!” Your voice hitched into a higher octave.

“I’m sorry I just-”

“NO!” Your shriek echoed over the branches. Heated venom coursed through your veins. “You push and push and push but I am sick of hearing it!” More words threatened to fly free but your heart was already pounding at your ribcage. Stay one more second and you were sure to find yourself saying much more than you ever cared to.

“I’m not going to give up.”

Those bubbling truths refused to be swallowed any more.

“You say that now, Lo’ak, but just wait. Soon you will grow tired of chasing after me and when you do there will be a plethora of women waiting at your beck and call. Just like before there will be another woman to entertain you where I could not.”

Lo’ak’s eyes blew wide and tail dropped to the floor but even then it would only be a few seconds before he made another pleaful attempt. And you couldn’t take any more of that. Those golden eyes covered by his signature two braids already beseeched your forgiveness far too easily.

“And once again you will go to her.”

He called your name as you left but you were already scrambling to safety.

It was going to take a grand gesture. One that would prove his loyalty to not only you but every Na’vi in the clan. Your forgiveness was not going to be an easy thing to win over but that was okay. Lo’ak had dealt with far worse for so much less. Enduring some verbal bashing and humbling circumstances was the least he could do to win the woman of his dreams.

And yet…it still hurt.

The way you shut him out, not letting him learn even a morsel about the girl he had been missing for years. How much time had he spent imagining your reunion? Perhaps all of his dreams and hopes had clouded his sense of reality because now he stood here with only a shattered fantasy left. He had fooled himself for too long, thinking the past could be something swept away with the turning of time.

He had wounded you too deep for that.

So much deeper than he had ever let himself accept.

With a heavy sigh Lo’ak commanded his heart to settle. Today he could not afford doubts to plague his mind. Everything from here on out had to be intentional, had to send a message. Your discerning eye would be sharper to him than any other potential suitor that would court a woman. Each move would be assessed and either take him closer or further away from holding you in his arms again.

He checked over the supplies one more time, finger slipping into the pouch attached to his loincloth. Everything was in place.

“We can’t be late.” He reminded Neteyam, messing with his bun until he was satisfied with the way it sat.

“Someone is eager.” Neteyam's lips curved upwards as he leisurely took another bite of yovo. “Usually I am the one rushing us out the door.”

“Things can change. I can be responsible too.” He shucked Neteyam’s bag over his own shoulder, ready to leave with or without his brother.

Neteyam rolled his eyes, heaving himself up from his seated position.

“Yes but what good is it without her here to watch you do so, baby brother?” His fingers barely touched Lo’ak’s braids before the younger brother was swooping away and swatting at his arm. The death glare sent his way only made a deep chuckle rise in Neteyam’s chest.

Neteyam’s jesting was all in good fun but Lo’ak was far from in the mood to look at things that way. Over and over your words from the other day had echoed in his head. Your tone was drenched in steel cold enmity but even that couldn’t mask the pain that was seated in your golden orbs. His own childhood recklessness had put him at this point and now it was all he could think about.

Setting things up for today’s lesson, however, had helped. It gave him an outlet, some way to use these swirling emotions and put them into something useful. Lo’ak Sully was not one to give up easily, no matter what you said.

Gun to head Lo’ak would not be able to recite a word of what his brother spoke as they walked to the lake’s edge. The pounding of his heart was far too loud and it seemed his attention didn’t matter anyways when Neteyam’s own was easily captured by your sister. Without so much as a goodbye, he stalked towards the female Na’vi and left him behind.

The rocks were littered with various warriors and clan members in his age group. His father had thought it would be best to keep it within a demographic that they could relate to, make these lessons more personal. And yet Lo’ak had never felt more out of place. At one point in time these people had been his peers but things had been so different then. A time that was hard to remember, like a distant dream.

Only the memories of you had not been tainted with the passing of time. He blamed all of those days at the reef where his head had been filled with thoughts of you. It was hard to forget the one his heart longed for. Even his fling with Tsireya could not erase the mark you had left on him.

He finally caught sight of where you were perched next to another warrior.

Your eyes only skimmed over him for a second before turning away.

You thought that it was only a matter of time or opportunity before he would be swept away and wooed by another. Perhaps if you were right things would be so much easier. And yet the tug of his heart always brought him back to you. His inability to move on was not from a lack of effort.

So many one night stands and summer flings only for every single one to feel hollow and robotic.

You couldn’t have known that, however, and it was Lo’ak’s job to find a way to prove it to you.

There were a million different excuses you could have conjured up to avoid these lessons. Some of them had almost slipped out this morning as Talu babbled on about how excited she was to see the eldest Sully son. However, you were mature enough to face the hard truths. Coping out now would be negligent to your duties as a useful clan member. If Olo’eyktan found it vital that the next generation learned about underwater diving then it was your responsibility to add those skills to your arsenal.

It had been a couple days of successfully avoiding Lo’ak and now it seemed such a shame to break the streak. You refused to let those pesky thoughts bother you today however. You were her for one purpose and one purpose only. Master the art of free-diving and return to your new found peace and quiet.

Naturally Lo’ak was greeted with quite the welcoming party, Na’vi females coaxing him over to hear about his travels. Rolling your eyes you prayed that Neteyam wouldn’t catch wind of your sour demeanor. All your worries were for not. His charming smile never strayed from your sister. Talu was skilled at putting up a calm front but you knew her well enough to sense that she was bubbling from the inside.

You were going to hear about this conversation all night.

Relief was temporarily found when the lessons started and instruction was finally given. The water was cool against your heated skin and you enjoyed the way it made your hair dance. Drill after drill you struggled to hold your breath longer. It felt as if your lungs were about to explode as you tried to suck in more air before plunging in again.

Lo’ak and Neteyam would demonstrate then invite the crowd to mimic while they inspected and instructed along the way. It helped that you were not the only Na’vi who had no natural inclination towards these talents. Many came up to the surface choking on water and pushing hair from their face. The lake looked more like an active river with the pulsing waves and splashes that emitted from every corner.

You had to give the brothers credit. No matter how ridiculous you all must have looked they never let themselves show visible signs of judgment or even laughter.

It was far too easy to find Lo’ak in the midst. Even underwater he moved with a grace and calm that seemed so unlike him. It felt as if the water swirled to make way for him. He moved in sync with the pulse of Na’vi-made waves, cresting over them like a dance. Muscular frame floating through the abyss, he was a work of art among flailing limbs.

He looked relaxed enough to fall asleep. His descent deeper was treated like an afternoon stroll. Your own dimming supply of air faded into the background as you found yourself swimming down after him. It was hard to keep up. Every long stroke of his was at least four of yours and still it felt as if that distance only grew with every passing second.

He reached the bottom with one last kick, fingers carting through the various stones that lay there. Your brows furrowed as his own expression remained unperturbed. Finally a small smile broke loose when he caught hold of one rock in particular. It shimmered even in the daylight and Lo’ak made quick work to tuck it into the pouch at his side.

The first convulsing of your empty lungs was what broke you out of the trance. Lo’ak and his rock hunting was completely forgotten as your body screamed for oxygen. Now your turn to flail helplessly, you clawed towards the surface. Your lips pressed together, trying to focus on not giving into the urge of letting water in.

How had you gotten so far down here in the first place?

The water’s surface looked so close and yet every kick only seemed to make it further away. It was an optical illusion that had your fear spiking with every second you couldn’t take in air. You hardly registered the strong arm that wrapped around your waist until your convulsing body was flying through the water.

It was a miracle your own legs didn’t tangle with Lo’ak’s as they kicked out, but he had both of your bodies plunging upwards at a speed you could barely register. It seemed that your lungs simply could not get enough oxygen when your head finally broke through the surface. Your lungs still convulsed and your throat seized at every gasping breath.

“Just breathe. Nice and slow.” His deep voice tickled at your ear. Na’vi parted as you were floated over to the nearest shore. “There you go. In and out.”

It seemed like a simple instruction but your body refused to snap out of panic mode. Fingernails digging into his forearms you tried to dislodge the residue water from your lungs. One arm under your back and another beneath your bent knees, Lo’ak easily carried your shaking body onto shore. He sat down, gently settling you between his parted legs while cooing encouragement.

“Just focus on one breath at a time. Come on, do it with me, sevin.” His chest inflated against your back before slowly exhaling. You followed his lead. “That’s it. Try to breathe from here.” He placed his palm against your diaphragm. Eager to diminish the embarrassment that was creeping in, you zeroed in on acing his request.

Breathing this way felt more physical, stretching your lungs to a point you didn’t know they could reach but every exhale brought your heart rate one further step down.

“Very good.”

The praise washed over you like a warm flame. Finally it felt as if your body was complying with your wishes, relaxing back against his chest. Your earlier fears of drowning were quickly reshaping to seem as nothing more than overreaction. Relief was sweet.

“Slow your heart.” Lo’ak purred, tucking his chin over your shoulder as he placed one hand over your collarbones. It was dangerously close to where your breasts rose and fell.

With one swipe of your cupped hand through the water you had successfully catapulted water at his face. You dislodged yourself from his snuggling before sending him a dirty look and stomping off.

Maybe that trick worked for him back with the Metkayina girls but you knew better than to fall for his charming traps.

“Sister!” Talu shouted, darting past the crowd. You could see in the distance Neteyam standing waist deep in the lake, right where your sister had left him. “By Eywa, are you alright?”

Talu wasted no time in turning you back and forth in order to scour for injuries. Although still winded you did your best to ease her concerns.

“Mawey, I am fine.” A sharp slap to the back of your head made you hiss in surprise.

“Then what were you thinking?! Diving down like that without any experience! That was not a part of the drill!” Her nose scrunched in the way it always did when giving you a scolding.

“I know I just was…checking something…” You trailed off, feeling the heat of his gaze upon the back of your neck.

“Neteyam says that you’re not supposed to dive like that even after a few weeks of training. We have to start with the shallow-”

“I know! I know!” Your groan only earned you another glare.

“Don’t scare me like that!”

It was not a new experience to see Talu worked up. With your parents gone she was used to taking over as your caretaker and protector, although you were far beyond the years of needing such things. Regardless she had a knack for worrying. Yet another reason you had elected to never tell her about your history with Lo’ak.

“I am sorry.” It was nothing more than a mumble against her shoulder when she pulled you close.

“Thank the Great Mother Lo’ak was there.” She sighed and from over her shoulder you could see where he was now directing another Na’vi female who struggled to make it across the space with one glide.

“Yes, very lucky.” You deadpanned, rolling your eyes.

It would have been rude to leave the lesson without joining in on the following social. Or at least that is what Talu claimed when you tried to retire early. Of course you had ulterior motives for expressing how tired you were but it was not a lie either. No matter how many times you had pushed yourself to suck in greater air, to make it one more stroke, you could never get past a certain threshold. Determination and anger had only swirled higher whenever you saw Lo’ak dance through the water.

The entire ordeal had left you feeling defeated. The sooner you could crack the code on diving the sooner you could retire from these lessons. There was no denying however, how good the fire’s glow felt against your wet skin. Everyone huddled in a circle around the fire. Talu was more than happy to accept the seat Neteyam had saved for her.

If it weren’t for the fear of looking over eager you were sure she would have already been snuggled up against him for warmth. Despite your animosity towards the younger Sully brother you were happy to see Talu courted by such an honorable warrior. He gave appreciation and chivalry freely, just in the way she deserved.

You opted to take a seat at the edge of the circle, sitting close to Panyau. There was great entertainment to be found in the way some of the females slumped in disappointment when Neteyam focused his attention primarily on Talu. It took a hand to your lips to mask your giggle when one female’s tail dropped after Neteyam rejected her offering of drink.

Lo’ak was not exempt from the same attention, although he strategically placed himself among other male clan members. Perhaps it was all in your head but it appeared that for once he was getting sick of the limelight. It didn’t last for long however because sooner or later the brothers were pressed to share stories from their time with the Metkayina.

“A full grown Na’vi and he’s never flown?” Matutke questioned in disbelief, many other Na’vi mirroring his same perplexed expression.

“Never. I swear I saw his soul transcend to Eywa at first lift off. Think I still have the mark from where he dug his nails into my shoulder.” Lo’ak grinned, sounding a chorus of laughter through the crowd.

“He cried almost as much as you did your first time, baby brother.” Neteyam quipped, reaching over to squeeze the back of Lo’ak’s neck. His younger brother glared and rolled his eyes as laughter rung through the forest but he surprisingly didn’t offer a comeback.

Conversation ebbed and flowed easily among the group, old friends connecting once more. You found yourself even becoming content to sit by the fire’s glow with such jovial interactions taking place. It was nice to take the backseat and enjoy some much needed rest. Even being around Lo’ak was bearable as it seemed he had finally given up on bugging you.

That is, until things took a turn.

It all started with one of the male’s, Pe’ku, teasing Lo’ak about the new gems and shells woven in his hair. Lo’ak had playfully glared at him as his friend yammered on about how it looked as if he had taken half the reef back with him.

You did your best at tuning out the conversation when one female jumped in to defend him, talking about how particularly pretty the blue gem in his hair was. Sleep threatened to take over as Lo’ak explained how rare these pieces were, having to dive down to the deepest depths to retrieve them. Eyes rolling and head resting on your bent knees, you prayed that Talu would be ready to leave soon.

The sudden oohs and aaahs when Lo’ak pulled something from his side pouch were like lullabies to your tired ears.

And then your tail peaked with awareness. The group had grown silent and the weight of many eyes bore down on you.

“Huh? What?” You stammered, head finally lifting to take in the scene with confusion. A few giggles laced the crowd and Lo’ak gave you a crooked smile.

“Could I talk to you for a minute?” He asked gently.

“What? Why?” The sudden beam of attention surrounding you caused unease to settle.

Lo’ak gave a nervous laugh.

“Or I suppose I could ask here.” Tails and legs shifted out of the way as Lo’ak came to kneel before you. It was only then that you noticed the shimmering object in his right hand. “I started making this a few months ago, beginning when I first started to have hope of returning home.”

He laid the long necklace carefully over his thighs. These glimmering pieces were unlike anything you had ever seen and much like the blue piece in his hair, it danced under the fading streaks of the day’s light. However unlike the small piece in his hair these ones tarried among different colors. A kaleidoscope of rainbow that would never stay the same shade for long, prancing with every different bounce of light. Intricately woven into the shape of a bodice that reminded you much of the stretching branches that reached for the sun.

“It was the first time I had ever let myself imagine what it would be like to come back here. To see you again.”

The swirling gold specks in his eyes trapped your own wide eyed stare in a vice like grip.

“I thought about you every time I dove down to retrieve a piece. It was the only piece in Awa’atlu that held a flame to my memory of your beauty. Looking at the woman you have grown into today I see that it is greatly insufficient as a comparison.” A short laugh accompanied his last sentence.

The knot in your stomach flipped into acrobatics that had your heart pounding.

“For now this is all I have to offer as a courting gift. This and my vow.” The four fingered hand that rested on your thigh was warm, sending a jolt of electricity racing upwards. “Never will a day go by without my heart being full of love for you. Never a morning where I don’t ask myself what can be done to make you smile, to bring light into your life.To my dying breath I will protect you.”

It hit you then the specificity of this audience. At the sight of drooping females’ tails and piercing gazes of other males you realized that this was the mating pool. Your peers and potential suitors were all gathered here. And with them, every doe eyed female that had chased after Lo’ak since his return.

“I can not call you mine, at least not yet, but I do believe that Eywa has given me another chance to fight for that right. To fight for the honor it would be to reside by your side. So with my intentions clear and heart set I ask you to accept this first courting gift.”

The following silence was deafening. It felt as if every second ticking by was one step closer to the bomb in your chest exploding. The group enveloped you like quick sand, each lean closer tightening around you in a suffocating grip.

So when a small “yes” escaped your lips, you blamed it on the need to breathe. On the need to escape the borrading questions that would inevitably follow your rejection.

You were willing to blame it on anything.

Anything but the twinkle of excitement that struck you the second Lo’ak’s wide grin fell into place.

A/N: It has been so much fun to see y'all's reaction to this random little series I started. Please don't be shy! I love hearing your thoughts! It motivates me to keep writing<3

Taglist: @pandoraslxna @pandoraslovesworld @faintfill @rivatar @neteyamssyulang @mashiromochi @justcaptiannoodles @pocky444 @dayyzlol @kekunan @puddle-nerd @hazelwebsterboo2 @acerbicmoon @aesteticxsariana @haunting-venus @yawnetu @avatar4eva @baybaybear1 @nillikhyth @affinity101022 @tsireyasluvr @bambithewriter @delulumhaggy @kayfromthebay

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rapunzelbro · 3 months

Note

The amount of times I have refreshed the angel dust x reader tag----Anywayyyy, I dunno if you do hurt/comfort (if not that's okay please ignore this lol) but here is a idea for a oneshot! GN!reader x angel dust where they're in a secret relationship because he's trying to protect you at all cost from his boss (reader can know about his situation or not its up to you!) but Valentino somehow found out about it and is pissed about it. You can use creative freedom to fill in the angst parts and whatever happens next, but please make it have a happy ending ^^

Imagine being in a Secret Relationship with Angel

Omg yeah I can! I wish there were more too so haha I shall provide I suppose. This is uh. Super angst. But I promise it’ll be a happy ending lmao I promise. Thank you for requesting. Just a reminder yall my requests are still open! Just give as much details and I’ll make it happen. Anywho enjoy!

Masterlist Character Taglist

Being in a relationship with Angel Dust wasn’t often easy, Well at first that is.

When you first met Angel he always had his guard up, on some sort of drug at all times, and pushed serious conversations aside with Sexual remarks to drop the conversation entirely

So when you were able to actually break his walls months later, it was honestly a shock to you. Because damn was he stubborn. Honestly you didn’t think it would be possible

He started telling you small things about himself after the first month of letting his walls down, introducing you to Fat nuggets, and watching movies with you.

After the third month, he tells you his real name is Anthony. You said it suits him and you swear you see him blush

The fourth month is when you ask him out. He is super hesitant on accepting, but you don’t push him for an answer, he later comes in your room

“Y/N.. I.. I want to say yes, but I’m so terrified ya know? I just can’t I don’t know what would happen”

“Why would you be terrified?”

He tells you everything. Everything about the man who tears him apart, the man who hurts him on the daily.

He is trying to hard to explain how terrified he is of you getting hurt, and all you can do is gently take his hands as you look at him

“Angel, nothing will happen, no one needs to know but us. If you’re scared still, I get that, I’ve been there before. But I’m not scared of that prick, and he won’t find out okay?”

He finally makes eye contact with you and he begins to calm down, hugging you as you two just sit in silence before he quietly responds

“Then, I accept”

It’s months after that when he introduced you to his Best friend Cherri. You two are super hesitant about telling her, but you eventually decide to.

She’s super super happy for you two but don’t think she won’t get super protective

Will pull you aside at the club when Angel isn’t there

“If you hurt Angel you and I are going to have a problem okay? You break his heart I break you”

Yeah she scared the fuck out of you for that. Angel never did find out about your conversation.

It’s been almost a year of hiding your relationship when it suddenly begins to turn sour

The calls from Valentino, get more frequent, more violent on the phone.

Angel comes back to the hotel limping, bruised and bloody

You practically sprint and grab him, carrying him to his room take care of him the best you can, talk to him when he is ready, or be a shoulder to cry on.

Angel doesn’t know why Valentino is being more violent, he didn’t do anything wrong, he kept your relationship so quiet that it was basically impossible for him to know about you two

Except Valentino did find out. He heard Angel talking in his dressing room to you, he investigated throughly after Angel said I love you, to you.

Valentino got Vox to look at the cameras around Hell, he saw you two together. You don’t hold hands at all, not in public, if it wasn’t for that phone call, he wouldn’t of thought anything of it

“That little whore is going to fucking pay”

You and Angel are at Val’s bar after Angel reassured you he wouldn’t be there. You two are talking when Angel stands up to grab you more shots

That’s when Valentino appears, gun pressed up to the back of your head

“I Wouldn’t move an inch if you want to live perra tonta~”

You’re absolutely frozen as can be. You don’t move a bit as he leans closer to you

“I have all eyes on you, I know you’re with Angel Dust, you’re fucking with my property. Now here’s how things are going to go down tonight if you want your precious Angel Cakes to live. You’re going to break up with him, and stay the FUCK away from him. Do I make myself clear?”

You are silent visibly shaking as he presses the gun harder as he becomes impatient with you

“Do I make myself clear!”

He sounds absolutely pissed as you quickly nod your head frantically

“Perfect, now fucking leave”

You don’t have time to explain to Angel Dust but you leave before he makes it back with your shots, Valentino is no where to be found.

“Y/n? Where did you go” “Amore mio?”

You didn’t reply to his texts, you didn’t know what to do, you were trapping yourself in your room.

You were in a panicked state as the tears just didn’t seem to stop, nothing made sense, you two were so so careful? How did you fuck up?

Angel knocked at your door. No answer. He knocked again before he eventually used the spare key you gave him, which you forgot about

Angel instantly rushed over to you when he saw you crying, which caused you to flinch

He instantly froze in his tracks when he saw you flinch, concern building

“Y/N what happened.. why are you crying”

You are struggling through sobs as you explain what happened, Angel is so fucking pissed he can hardly contain it but has to for you, he just listens as he sits next to you

“Amore mio, i shouldn’t of I left you alone I’m so sorry. I don’t know how that asshole found out but I’m not fucking this relationship up because of him”

“But he will kill me”

“Sweetie, there’s a thing called acting you know, all we have to do is play the part, pretty easy for me, as you’ve seen.”

He takes your hands with a slight smirk

“I’m not letting him fuck this up okay? Who cares what he thinks? Val is literally blind as shit, I’m surprised he even knew it was you. Probably had to have someone point you out to him”

Yeah that made you laugh, which Angel was thankful for.

For then on, you two had your ‘breakup’. You were never seen in public together, or not without disguises. You had most dates alone at the hotel together

You weren’t letting the one good thing to happen end because of a stupid fucking moth

And he wasn’t going to either.

Angel Dust tag list: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @satansmanager @storydays @saturnhas82moons @zamadness @fizziepopangel @saitisfied @the--rebel--fae @mcueveryday @rainbowbunny15 @molarloo

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c-nstantine · 18 days

Text

we'll meet again

Description: Benedict and Y/N meet again after the musuem!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.9K

Being paraded around in a stuffy dress was one of Y/N's least favorite parts of being a princess. It would have been assumed that she would've gotten used to it but that would be untrue. Y/N had not wanted to attend this ball to begin with but her mother was set on her being married this season and one cannot go against the Queen of England.

"This is Baron Julius of the Isles," Her mother was far too excited about introducing her to this Baron. At least, this one wasn't grimy and had all of his teeth.

"Such a gorgeous princess, your Highness," The Baron spoke while placing a kiss on the hand of Y/N. She tried her best not to gag as his crusty lips met her.

"She is my offspring, after all," Queen Charlotte spoke with glee. Y/N did favor the Queen's side of the family more than her father's.

"Mother, may I be excused? I am a bit parched from all of these introductions," Y/N asked while discretely wiping her hand on her dress, hoping whatever was on the Baron's mouth didn't stain.

"Yes but hurry back. There are many potential suitors who I wish to introduce you to," Queen Charlotte returned to her many ladies-in-wait as she continued to make rounds throughout the ball. Y/N took this as an opportunity to disappear slightly.

Benedict had been watching her from the corner of his eye all night. One cannot simply approach a princess. So, he waited and hoped for a second that she would slip away. Just so he could approach her and speak to her. Once she did, he discreetly followed her into a secluded hallway and realized this was a bit creepy. However, in seeing how overwhelmed she looked he was glad he did follow.

"Are you alright?" He asked, making his presence known.

"Oh, Mr. Bridgerton. I do apologize for leaving you at the museum," He didn't know it but her voice was something that he longed to hear again.

"None of that matters now. Do I need to get someone? Your attendant, perhaps?" He offered.

"No, please. They are suffocating," She admitted with a small smile. Benedict knew how Eloise felt with being in society, he could only imagine what it would be like to be a princess and do so.

"Do you wish to be alone?" He asked, silently praying that the answer was 'no'.

"I wish to talk to you," She looked at him with pure honesty. Benedict hadn't bothered to be formal with her. It was oddly refreshing to not be treated like she was made of glass.

"To me?" He wasn't used to being someone's first pick. For most matters, people went to Anthony, and for so long he was okay with that, or at least he got used to it.

"Yes, you interest me, Mr. Bridgerton," Her eyes looked at him with levels of inquisitiveness that had not been there before. Perhaps, he was a puzzle that she had not yet figured out.

"What would you like to talk about?" Benedict asked and was met with her beautiful smile.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed but it didn't matter. The two of them talked about anything and everything. Their hopes, their dreams but they avoided talking of the cruel reality that was set for the both of them. They talked of their large families, their favorite painters, and the worst poets of the day.

"You are alone with a man." A new voice came into the hallway. A sigh of relief happened when Y/N saw it was just her attendant. Just an extra week's worth of rations would be all the convincing needed to keep this secret.

"Never in my twenty years of service to the crown have I seen such insolence. Your mother will throw a fit. She will have your head, Mr. Bridgerton. To the ball now," Y/N threw Benedict a small smile before going to rejoin the crowd.

"I assure you nothing transpired." Benedict wanted to avoid her being seen as 'damaged'. Granted he had not much cared for the standing of ladies before but this was different.

"It does not matter if something did transpire. It is the implication. Princess Y/N is the last unwed of Her Majesty the Queen's bloodline," The attendant explained while looking Benedict up and down. It was like she was trying to assess if he was good enough for Y/N.

"She is to be wed?" His voice almost cracked.

"She is not promised, yet, but I imagine she will be before the season is done." The attendant confessed. Benedict's eyes dropped to the ground as he was brought back to reality.

"Oh," His voice was soft and almost inaudible. He had no right to be concerned with the future of a young lady he'd only had two conversations with but here he was. Hoping that it could be him instead of some posh royal jerk.

"Mr. Bridgerton, you seem like a nice gentleman. Please set your eyes on someone else. This will only cause heartache for the both of you." That was the thing the attendant said before disappearing into the main ballroom. Benedict stayed in the secluded space and thought to himself whether he could court a princess.

taglist:

tags for benedict:

@flyestvenustrap@megamindsecretlair@blxckdesire @prettyvintageafternoon@lilbanas@certifiedloverwoman@melissa-ashe @hoyoooo @blckbarbiedoll @carrotcaratsworld @sunshineangel-reads @pinkpantheris @knave-hearts @blckbarbiedoll

#x black!reader #black!reader #x black reader #black reader #benedict bridgerton x black!reader #benedict x reader #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton #benedict x black reader #benedict x princess!reader #benedict x black!reader #bridgerton fanfiction

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xuhuihuis · 8 months

Text

Falling, Fallen | Jung Jaehyun

➥ warnings: dom!sugardaddyjaehyun, sub!reader, cheating, name calling, fingering, hand jobs, cream pie, dacryphilia

Mr Jung’s daughter ran into the house from the garden when she heard someone pull up in the driveway. Her little face lit up as he heard the car pulling up next to the house and got up from her sandpit ready to meet her daddy at the door. Quickly getting up from the lounge chair leaving your book next to you following swiftly after the young girl. Panic turned into relief shortly after hearing giggles coming from the hallway, seeing Mr Jung attacking his daughter with kisses all over her face.

Mr Jung looked irresistible when he was in his work uniform. The tight shirt down to the slacks that have been freshly pressed by the dry cleaners showing off his well toned body any time he moved. Mrs Jung is off on a girls trip to France, that’s why you have been asked to look after HeeYoung whilst Mr Jung went into the city to run the family business. She was still covered in sand from playing for hours but Mr Jung couldn’t care less about getting dirty for his baby girl. She had the same dimples as him when she smiled and it made your heart melt. It always made you think about when you had kids of your own dreaming about how life would be then but now it's just looking after other people's children which filled that hole for the time being.

Leaving her with her father to go and get your bag ready to leave the Jung household for the night. Packing the last of your things into the bag, slinging it onto your shoulder but you could feel a pair of eyes on the back of your head watching your every move like a hawk. There he was, Mr Jung stood leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest watching your every move trying to divert his eyes from the way you moved across the room.

‘Where do you think you are going?’

His deep voice startled you, making you jump. Mr Jung was not there when you went into the room and now he was standing behind you with his large hands on your shoulders making sure you were okay. The smell of his strong cologne filled your nostrils entrancing you in his smell sending shivers down your spine. Over the last few weeks the air between the both of you has been odd…

Even with Mrs Jung in the room Mr Jung treated you like you were the only one in the room, giving you the princess treatment and not his wife who he has been married to for the last ten years. It was obvious that they had been arguing with each other when you weren’t in the room or out with their daughter. No love was there any more. Mr Jung had spent countless nights sleeping in the guest bedroom leaving his wife in the master bedroom without uttering a word to her. The only thing stopping them from getting divorced was their daughter, both of them only wanting to stay together for her.

“Are you home already?”

Your heart dropped hearing the slight break in his voice when he asked you the question. Being so close to him you could see the dark circles around his eyes showing you that he hasn’t been sleeping. He needed someone there to look after his daughter while he got a good sleep in an actual bed for once and not to deal with all of this on his own. Taking your hands into his waiting for you to answer him looking into your eyes like a lost puppy. It didn’t take much persuading from him to get you to stay the night.

Mr Jung was thankful that you were spending the night with him, he didn’t mean it but he pulled you into a hug letting you feel his half hard cock in his slacks quickly pulling away when he noticed that you felt it. Nothing else happened between you both after that incident apart from avoiding the topic of his cock, feeling every curve and vein. Mr Jung can even remember the last time he was touched in an intimate way. It's been so long. Having chemistry with you was so refreshing even though you may be younger it was still a breath of fresh air to talk to someone other than his wife who detested him.

Moving down stairs and sitting on the couch all leading to spending hours upon hours talking and laughing with one another whilst his daughter played in her own world. It was good to know the man you were working for on a personal level really knowing what he likes and what he doesn’t, taking this as a chance to surprise him with his favourite treats for coming back home after a long day of work. Laughing with him, forgetting all of your worries when you are both together no matter if Mrs Jung happens to be there or not.

The conversation was only broken by Mr Jung going to his room to get changed out of his suit and into something more comfortable and putting his daughter to bed. Shortly after you followed doing the same, going up stairs to get ready for bed letting Mr Jung have his house back. You were in your own world changing out of your own clothes and into the shirt Mr Jung gave you, he never wore it but it still smelled of his strong cologne even though it has been though the was multiple times before he gave it to you to wear.

Feeling embarrassed about how turned in you were just smelling the shirt Mr Jung has worn before you. The lace starts to get drenched in your essence when he hasn’t even touched you once, not even in a suggestive way. Even your cheeks were starting to get warm from the idea of Mr Jung’s lips on yours. Wanting to get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours holding him close to you grinding on his lap feeling his cock twitch beneath you.

HeeYoung crying in the room next to you snapped you out of the imaginary land your mind was taking you to. Quickly running out of the room and into her’s seeing the tears rolling down her cheeks as she dropped her bunny rabbit stuffie she couldn’t sleep without. Sitting on the edge of her bed giving her the toy and making sure to hold her close until calmed down from crying, then falling back asleep. Slightly moving her back onto her pillow before getting back up off her bed without waking her up was a challenge but you were successful.

Closing her door softly making your way back to your room but across the hallway you see the door to Mr Jung’s office hung open and you could hear hushed swearing from behind it. He sat with his head in his hands with no thought behind his eyes when you peaked your head in looking to see if he was okay after locking himself in his office for hours.

“Are you okay sir?”

“I think? I can’t figure out my new printer…”

He was embarrassed to say something like that to someone as young as you but he is sure you would have it fixed in no time and the documents for the next day could be printed in an instant. Mr Jung’s eyes widened seeing you standing there in nothing but his old t-shirt and your underwear looking at how beautiful your curves looked the closer you got to him taking you all in.

He was feeling a range of emotions he hasn’t in years, not since he met his wife. Mr Jung was getting lost in your body watching every sway of your hips as you walked past him trying to see what was wrong with his printer. Bending over slightly to make sure everything is plugged into the back correctly and then checking the ink, everything was fine and then you found the problem. There was no paper.

“There was no paper in it Sir…”

His ears turned a slight shade of pink because of sheer embarrassment as his stupid mistake but you found it cute. In no time you had the paper into the printer and the documents printed for him. Thinking that was your cue to leave when the last sheet printed but it was far from that. Feeling Mr Jung’s eyes fixated on you once again as you lean over accidentally flashing your lace panties to him, letting him see how wet you are. Tension in the room was stronger than it has ever been with nothing to pull you apart if something was to happen with you and Mr Jung.

Licking his lips whilst watching your every move waiting to pounce. Lust clouded over his dark eyes imagining you on your knees for him. His dark aura and stare was affecting you in many ways that you never expected it to. Trying your best to not give into the tension but it was difficult. Waiting for one of you to give in first, not wanting to ruin the bond you have with one another but the bubble was about to pop.

Turning around to see a very visible tent in Mr Jung's pants and a light blush over his cheeks and ears from watching you work for the last five minutes. He couldn’t help himself; there was no holding back now, no matter if his daughter was in the room across the hall. Taking your hands in his pulling you on his lap once you got close enough. His warm breath fanning over your face rapidly, breaths getting heavier with every slight move you make on his lap.

“Now. You don’t tell my wife about anything that will happen next. Got it?”

Taking your chin into his hold with his thumb and pointer finger making sure you look him dead in the eyes for what he is about to do…

His soft lips pecked yours leaving you speechless sitting there on his lap not knowing what to do next. Mr Jung thought he pulled the wrong move on you, he felt like his whole world was going to come tumbling in on him in the next seconds if you don't say or do anything. The smile you gave him was enough of a message for him smiling, avoiding eye contact with you the best he could. You found it cute how whenever he was embarrassed his ears turned a shade of pink and he couldn’t hide it no matter how hard he tried.

“You want to continue, Sir?”

Mr Jung quickly regained his confidence pulling you into another kiss but this time it was full of passion and craving for you. Slowly moving your hands down his neck to his thick biceps erupting a groan from the back of his throat at the feeling of your nails slightly digging into the muscle. Gripping onto the flesh of your ass harder as your hips start to grind on his clothed cock which was leaking pre-cum at the thought of you laying on his bed naked. Laying in the bed still thick with the scent of his wife's perfume and shampoo scent. He wanted the smell of sex to cover it up, not caring about the consequences it would leave him with.

But he was too desperate to lead you to his bedroom…

Something in the way he looked at you changed in that moment but you weren’t complaining. His hands left your ass to unbutton his shirt but his lips never left yours while doing so. Mr Jung finally got what he wanted and he isn’t letting it go, not even for a split second. Nothing but moans and heavy breaths filled the room around you.

Taking your hand into his raising it to his lips kissing the back of your hand slowly trailing wet kisses up your arm watching every reaction from you. Mr Jung started to grind his hips into yours letting you feel every vein of his throbbing cock. He loved hearing every moan and cry, your moans were like honey to him begging for his cock but he was far from giving it to you.

‘Such a pretty girl for me…’

The praise sent shivers down your spine reacting to it in a way you never expected. He just smirked at you as his lips trail up your arm rocking his hips into yours groaning deeply against your lips getting lost in the way you taste. Mr Jung never gets tired of the sweet taste no matter if his cock is begging to be inside of you.

‘Hold on tight, my love’

Tightening your legs around his waist and neck as he stood up taking you to his bedroom laying you down onto the bed gently. Kissing along his sharp jawline as he carried you into the next room in his strong arms doing his best to be quiet not wanting his daughter to hear. He placed you down gently on the bed placing a kiss on your cheek. Sitting up on your elbows as you watch his every move like a hawk.

Hypnotised by every muscle flex as the soft moonlight flooded into the room illuminating his tall figure. Taking his time sliding his shirt off his broad shoulders dropping the fabric at his feet moving closer and closer to you. He got so close that you could smell his cologne letting the musky scent take over your senses.

'Are you sure you still want to do this?'

Gently nodding your head answering him never wanting this experience to come to an end no matter the consequences you would both face if anyone found out what you had been up to. Sitting up on the bed before reaching out to pull Mr Jung closer to you leaning his body weight on you feeling his aching cock rub your clothed core erupting a moan from him sighing in desperation.

‘I need you sir…’

Hearing the passion and desperation in your voice switched something inside of him letting his lips trail down your neck leaving wet kisses behind. Softly moaning, feeling his big hands reach under the fabric of your wet underwear before sitting up so your shirt could be discarded and Mr Jung could continue his teasing loving the way you squirm under him. Arching your back as his lips ghost over your sweet spot gasping softly as Mr Jung smirked against your skin loving every reaction you were giving him.

‘So responsive baby…’

The man is now laying in between your legs looking up at the fucked up mess that you were in without taking his dick. If this was the mess you were in with just his lips he couldn’t wait to see you after taking his thick cock. Even though he hasn’t done much yet Mr Jung was enjoying having you on your back begging for his cock.

Covering your mouth holding back a moan the best you could struggling to keep your legs open when Mr Jung circled your clit with his thick fingers whilst nipping at the skin of your upper thigh. Letting your juices soak through the fabric over your underwear seeing how far he could take it before you snapped at him. The man sighed as his fingers hooked on the sides of your underwear before sliding them down slowly revealing your needy pussy, his eyes never leaving the sight of your leaking cunt.

You have never felt so embarrassed in your life feeling so open and exposed to the man that has seen you every day for three years, watching as you take care of his daughter. There was a silence in the room before he sat next to you on the bed taking your hand into his. He cared about you so much and you could see it in the way his eyes lit up when he looked at you.

‘We can stop if you don’t want this, I want you to be comfortable, Darling’

‘Don’t stop Sir…’

That was all the reassurance that he needed to keep going. He would never do anything that was going to hurt you or make you uncomfortable in any way. Mr Jung switched places with you on the bed laying down where you were as you took the spot next to him laying on your side running your hand up and down his thigh. Smirking as his hips buck up if your hand got anywhere near his cock.

Making sure your eyes never left his expression slowly grazing your palm over his cock watching his eyes roll back into his head. Teasing him playing with his cock through his slacks feeling every twitch from under your palm.

Reaching for his belt taking your time undoing it and then the zipper of his slacks pulling them over his hips and down his ankles. Your eyes lit up as you saw the outline of his thick cock pressing against the fabric of his underwear begging for your touch. Grazing from the base of his cock to his leaking tip with your nails smirking as he shivers under your touch.

‘Behave.’

The dominance in his voice was unexpected but you liked it, hearing how demanding he could be. It took all the power in you not to brat holding it all back just for this one night letting Mr Jung do whatever he wanted to you. Moving in between his legs until you were face to face with his cock ready to give him what he wanted but you decided to kiss down his lower stomach leaving lingering kisses right above his cock just to see how his muscles would tense, hissing at your actions.

‘Now be a good girl for me…’

You couldn’t take his underwear off quick enough, that's what it felt like to you as you slid his underwear down his legs watching as his cock hit his stomach. Dropping the underwear on the floor next to you before wrapping your hand around his thick cock. Pumping your hand up and down his length from the base to the tip slowly watching as Mr Jung struggled to hide his moans from you.

Making sure to run your thumb over the slit of his tip sending shivers down his spine all because of you. Beads of pearly white precum started to drip from his tip dripping down his head using it as a lubricant. Mr Jung was finding it hard to keep himself together fighting back his moans burying his head in his pillow trying to hide the fact his pink cheeks and half lidded eyes.

Bucking his hips up into your fist letting out his deep moans, his sounds were the only thing filling up the room. It was dirty but you loved the disgusting sounds of Mr Jung’s wet, dripping cock mixed with his beautiful moans and sighs. The pleasure started to build up inside of his lower stomach but he didn’t want to waste the opportunity, having you here fisting his cock just to waste it coming on your hand. He might not get this opportunity ever again and he hasn’t even had his cock inside of you yet.

‘Please ride me, Baby…’

Your eyes widened at what he just said not expecting it at all, Mr Jung needed you there and then he couldn’t deal with the teasing anymore. Hastily getting up from your spot between his legs to straddle his hips rubbing the head of his leaking cock up and down the lips of your cunt making you choke on a moan. Holding Mr Jung close to you close enough to feel the heat from his body as your arms snaked around his neck kissing his lips as he slipped his thick cock inside of you.

Bliss…

It felt like you were on cloud nine finally having his cock inside of you stretching your walls making sure you can take him before moving. He is in no rush as he wants to savour the moment, never wanting to forget it. Hands massaging up and down your sides waiting on you adjusting to his cock admiring the beauty that you are. The dark marks blossoming on your neck and collar-bones showing who you belong to when you leave this house.

‘You ready Princess?’

Nodding your head before burying your head into his neck before he took over starting to rock his hips against yours holding you tightly. Finally being able to let go letting every muscle in your body relax just focusing on the pleasure Mr Jung was giving you. Smiling against his neck as he picked up the pace fucking into you quicker. The bedroom was filled with sounds of skin on skin mixed with your moans.

Mr Jung took your chin into his hold whilst still rocking his hips into yours never wanting to stop, his warm breath fanning over your face. Eyes glossed over with lust thinking about nothing other than you. Maintaining eye contact with Mr Jung whilst he hit that spot inside of you that made you see stars smirking finding your reactions adorable. Falling apart for the man you work for, hopefully this won’t change anything or it will just make things better in many ways.

The forced eye contact made you feel small and vulnerable in his big, strong arms as your weak legs were shaking as you struggled to take his cock. Clinging onto his flexed biceps trying to hold your weak body up as Mr Jung repeatedly rubbed against your walls fucking into you like a fuck doll.

His pretty doll…

Incoherent babbling filled the room the closer you got to an orgasm going completely numb in his arms. By now you had no energy left to try and meet his thrusts fucking yourself on his cock. Drool started to drip down your chin and moans flowed out of you constantly without even caring, just wanting to cum and reach bliss totally relaxing.

‘Come on Darling, almost there…’

Tears started to flow down your face bouncing recklessly on his cock with all the power left in your lower body. Legs shaking and eyes begging silently Mr Jung knew what you were trying to say to him. Words weren’t an option now the ability to talk was gone a while ago. Mr Jung didn’t stop nor change anything he was doing but he held you closer as the tears fell down your cheeks as it all became too much.

‘I'm here Darling. I've got you…’

Everything went numb in your body, seeing nothing but stars. He was talking you through the overwhelming orgasm but it was impossible to hear anything. Trying your best to hold back moans not wanting complaints in the morning but it was hard. Not long after Mr Jung was grunting bucking his hips into yours sloppily shooting his thick white cum into you covering your walls in his warm, thick cum.

Mr Jung ran his thumb over the apple of your cheek feeling the heat still radiating off of them giving you all the time you need to calm down. Groaning quietly as he sees his cum slowly drip out of your hole. The silent room was quickly filled with the buzz of a phone on the side table next to the bed.

It was Mrs Jung calling…

#hard hours #k pop smut #kpop hard thoughts #kpop hard hours #nct smut #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #nct 127 hard thoughts #nct 127 hard hours #nct 127 smut #jaehyun smut #jaehyun hard hours #jaehyun hard thoughts #nct jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun smut #nct u smut

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hobisstar · 8 months

Text

blue | y!taehyung x fem!reader

summary: breaking up over difficult reasons was always tuff to handle. Everyone had their different ways with dealing with them. But, Taehyung wasn’t everyone, and he be damned if the love of his life thought it was okay to say such a thing.

warning: nothing too bad! light cursing, a little bit of angst, Taehyung is a little bit of a manipulator in this, tae is a painter in this. possessiveness.

tag list: none!

a/n: Hello! i’ve been on a role but this one will be short! just wanted to get an idea out before i go to bed! if you like this short one, let me know if i should make a longer version of it! enjoy!

disclaimer: as always, i do not intend to say that anyone i write open are actually like this. this is purely fiction and i would like to only keep it that way.

Blue.

the color that y/n thought explained her relationship deeply. it was the color that she picked out in each apartment she shared with her lover, Taehyung.

She loved him… at the start. she really did. But once his career started to take off, he changed and for the worst. he constantly was coming home late after hang out with some painters, constantly smelling like someone else’s perfume, constantly sleeping in on days that the both of them planned to go out and see the world, see the blue.

this time, it was the last straw. taehyung had come back at 3 am with some girl and a guy that was carrying him inside. she promised herself that in the morning she would leave and never return. tired of living the life of a famous man’s forgotten girlfriend.

morning comes and y/n was awaken by the smell of coffee and breakfast but also by the sound of smooth jazz playing. She assumed Tae was in one of his many paintings moods. When he was hungover, coffee and painting was his remedy. Always came up with a beautiful painting that he described as “ lady” who he said always was made in the thoughts of Y/N.

as she got up, took a shower and did her daily morning routine, she remembered her promise. This ends today, now, right now. Yes, she loves him or loved him. But she couldn’t continue to live like this anymore.

She walked to the closet and grabbed the nearest duffel bag and packed most off her clothes shoes and under garments. Lucky for her, her best friend lived not too far from here and always offered her home to her.

Once everything was packed she was heading down the huge staircase and realized that Tae must of been in the kitchen painting this time. She put everything of hers in her car and walked back in ready to end this, no matter what he said, Y/N was completely leaving.

She walked into the kitchen hearing the sweet deep hums of her now mentally but not physically ex boyfriend. His back facing her, she cleared her voice.

“ Tae, do you remember anything about last night?” she asked sitting at the island. “ No, All i remember is that Jimin and Amy carried me home last night. Im sorry, Mi amor, for coming in so late..” he said smiling lightly. he was truly sorry even if it didn’t show. That was Taehyung.

his answers seemed cold, heartless even, but mistaken his love for Y/N. He loves her with his life.

“ Taehyung i can’t do this anymore.” y/n blurted. While still painting Taehyung answered “ Hmm? Do what my dear?” he softly put the paint brush against the canvas. He was painting an image of what their intimacy looked like in art form. Though he had plenty of these paintings, it’s the only thing he would paint after being drunk.

“ Us. Im tired of the drinking, the partying, the coming home at whatever time of night, the ditching me, the canceling dates for the faulty friends of yours. Im tired of sitting in this colorless home when our love is supposed to make it colorful. Im done, Tae. I want to break up.” You stated and took a breath that you didn’t realize you held in. Being this honest felt so refreshing. “ I don’t need your answer, i already packed my things and i’m going to stay with my family for now until i find me a place permanently.” she cut in.

nothing. Taehyung said nothing. but oh he was thinking it. his mind just running on thoughts. he wanted to be okay and accept her choice like a normal human, but he damn sure wasn’t normal. he’s always had the thoughts of locking Y/N up when the day of her maybe wanting to leave came about. he didn’t know it be that fast.

why does she want to leave him so bad? when did y/n have all these issues with his lifestyle? why is it just now coming up? why doesn’t want to talk about it? all of these of examples of what is running through his head. instead of actually letting out a answer, he lets a huff out as he puts his paintbrushes down.

“ Why are you trying to leave?” he asked lowly, “ why is my lifestyle all of a sudden a problem for you?” he just wanted answers. Though he was really trying to add time so he could think about ways to keep her locked her.

He always has bodyguards at their house in the entrance, he could have them bring her bags in and get her car towed. Have them get their food, send out his newest works while he stayed in the house with her. Yeah, he thinks he’ll do exactly that.

“ Trying? oh no Kim, i’m leaving. All of sudden? i’ve mentioned your drinking and party habits plenty of times but you thought i was just nagging you so you ‘mi amor’ d your way out of it,” Y/N stood up and walked out the kitchen to the living room. Taehyung took this time to text his body guards to grab her things out her car, bring them to the back, take her car somewhere far, sell it and put the house on lock down.

He smirked and walked out of the kitchen and stood at the door way between the living room and kitchen, watching her walk to the front door but only to freeze.

Y/N saw the blue light on security system, the light means that the house was on lock down, no way in and no way out, unless you have the code which Taehyung changes every month. He just so happened to had change it earlier this morning. Good choice he was thinking.

“ Taehyung, take off the lock down.” Y/N stated while standing by the door, waiting. He smiled and walked close to her and leaned against the wall.

“ Y/N~, Mi amor~, i find it absolutely entertaining that he had any hope in assuming i was going to let you out this house. You don’t make the choices for us, baby. I do. I decided when you can walk away. And i decided you can’t-“ - “ you can’t force me to stay in here,” “ Cut me off again and i’ll lock you up without any food or water for the next two days until you learn your lesson.” He walked away and sat on the couch organizing the table in front of it.

Y/N was trying to figure out the code. she tried her birthday, nothing, his birthday, nothing, their anniversary, surprise, nothing. “ There is no use, princess.” he turned to look at her. “ It’s not Yeon’s birthday either or the day we got him. You should be a good girl. maybe i’ll let you out early.” he smiled, the smile you used to love.

y/n didn’t expect this. she never thought Tae would do something like this. locking her and hisself in the house for god knows how long? maybe months, maybe years…

“ Let’s go paint something, baby. And don’t be so blue, i won’t hurt you…” he mumbled the last part while staring at her.

Blue.

the color y/n now understands why she thought it was their color. Taehyung always had a way of making her feel stuck. Defeated. Lost with no where to go. he made her feel…

Blue.

#bts x reader #bts taehyung #kim taehyung #thv #bts v #yandere taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung #taehyung angst

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shisui-shrine · 3 months

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god, i LOVE your blog, thank you for writing for shisui 🥹 i’d like to ask shisui and any other characters you want and the moment they fell in love with their girl friend

Thank you for your kind words <3. Just as many other people, I was desperate for more Shisui content, and well, be the change you wanna see I guess.

Shisui X F!Reader

When he fell in love with you

Shisui

When you didn't see him as an Uchiha, a prodigy, Shisui of Teleportation but just as Shisui

Almost everyone only sees him as a shinobi, a protector of Konoha

They see his abilities, what he does for them, but not what he is

So when he realised that he was a person in your life and not a ninja, his heart couldn't help but beat a little faster

He could barely believe his ears, others seeing him as a person was uncommon, unexpected, refreshing

"Do you want dessert?" Y/N asks her friend sitting on the opposite side of the table. "Sounds good. But how'd you know I have a sweet tooth? I never told you after all." "You just give off the vibes, is all" the female answers as she took out her wallet to pay for their shared meal.

"Is that so weird? You look a bit... surprised? Startled? Shocked even?", she chuckles a little, looking at Shisui's widened eyes.

"No, it's just that people usually assume nothing unhealthy has entered my mouth ever since I became Jonin. It's a refreshing change of pace", Shisui grins, taking one of the Dangos the waiter brought during their conversation.

"That's weird. I mean, yeah, sure, shinobi usually have a very healthy diet, but that doesn't mean we only eat vegetables and meat."

"So," Shisui begins, "any plans for the rest of the day?"

Y/N thinks about it for a few seconds and then shakes her head. "No, I honestly just wanted to go home and relax. I have a pretty long mission starting in a few days, so I wanted to enjoy my peace and quiet while it lasts"

"Yeah, I had something like that in mind too. Some hotsprings and then a calm evening with some tea and a good book"

"Makes sense. I hate doing anything before a tiring mission. Waking up sore or tired is not something you want before an A-Rank" Y/N comments, moving around her finger on the edge of her cup.

"Oh, you have something in your face by the way. Right there", she pointed at the corner of her mouth. Shisui grabbed his napkin and and wiped it away. "Wha- That's meat! How long has that been on my face?" "Quite some time, but you looked kinda cute with it so I didn't want to tell".

Y/N giggles at Shisui's face, distorted in disbelief and surprise.

"Thank you for the invitation, Y/N. I really needed this", Shisui looks down at the finished plate of Dango, the whole afternoon replaying in his mind. The fact you knew he liked sweets, how you understood that he needed a break, how you laughed about his messy face and his expression.

Why was his heart beating so fast? Why did his stomach feel so weird? He didn't eat anything bad the past few days. Could it be that...?

"Is everything alright? Your face is so red all of a sudden, not that you're dehydrated or have a fever" his friend say worried, bringing her hand to his forehead, but before she could touch him he stopped her hand by gently holding her wrist.

"No, no, I'm fine. Please don't worry about me." He doesn't want her to find out, not yet. First he needs to make sure she feels the same and choose a better timing.

"You always say that. You always shake my worries off, say that you're fine and move on. But I am worried, I know what it can do to people to bottle everything up and try to deal with it alone. You're not a superior being to us all, you still need help every once in a while. If not from me then at least from Itachi, but I know that you're not talking about it with him either. Shisui please, stop saying you're fine before your soul cracks."

Wow, he did not expect that. That you looked through him this easily, that you looked right past his walls right into his soul. Your expression one of fear and worry.

"Okay, I swear that the next time I have a problem I'll come to you, no matter what it is", he holds up his hand with his pinky outstretched.

Y/N follows the action and with that their promise is official.

"Thank you, Shisui. I care a lot about you and it'd kill me to know that you're suffering in silence."

Shisui's heart does a little jump. Perhaps she loves me too? Was the only thing his brain could think about. He was good at reading you, but then, how good were you at hiding feelings?

After that they say their goodbyes and head to their homes. The whole way home multiple thoughts were swirling through Shisui's head.

But all he knows is that he loves you, but telling you can still wait.

#shisui uchiha #shisui x reader #shisui headcanons #naruto x reader #naruto #naruto headcanons #while writing this i rewatched shisui's episode and then got to his death #that's why yn was yapping so much #plus as someone who also bottles up her feelings it got kinda personal

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asherthehimbo · 7 months

Text

Outliving the stars | Choi San

synopsis: You've always felt a part of you was missing, the desire for something greater only being lessened when you were gazing at the stars. You know you lost something, someone, you just dont remember what, who. Maybe the astrology major your friend sent you on a blind date with has the answers.

Pairing: Choi San x Male!reader

Info: one shot, words(2.1K),

Trope: reincarnation, Immortal x mortal, hurt/comfort

Warnings: mentions of nightmares, anxiety, topic of death, suggestive jokes, it's said they have sex but no actual smut, injuries, birthmarks shaped like scars, insecurity, self scrutinizing, social anxiety, overthinking, talks of past lives

Song inspo: Burn out the stars - Bryce savage

It was at times like these that you wished you could punch your best friend. Wooyoung was sweet, but you swear he had it out for you, sending you out on a blind date with nothing but a first name. Now you were standing at the planetarium entrance like an idiot waiting for someone you didn't even know.

Wooyoung had pesterd you for three weeks until you finally gave in. He kept trying to set you up with one of his classmates, and you were too tired to register what you were agreeing to. "Come on [Name], you can't keep being hung up on some mystery guy from your dreams. San, on the other hand is perfect, broad shoulders, an astrology major, rich, handsome face, smooth voice and he's kind" Wooyoung rambled on as you were sitting in your dorm, trying to finish the economics paper you had that was due on Friday.

"Do you want me to go out with this guy, or do you want to do so yourself?" You asked him, only receiving a pillow to your face as a response. Sighing, you looked at Wooyoung, who was taking up your entire bed. "If I go on this date, would you let me finish my paper in silence?"

Wooyoung immediately jumped up from the bed. "YES, OKAY YAY!I'm gonna go tell San you agreed! Oh! This is gonna be so much fun! SATURDAY 1PM SHARP, " Wooyoung shouted while jumping around before sharply turning on his heel to sprint out of the room, leaving with a shout of "WEAR THOSE CUTE JEANS I BOUGHT YOU!"

You only sighed, turning back to your paper and relishing in the silence.

You did, in fact, end up wearing the jeans he bought you, black baggy jeans with white stars splattered on them, matched with your red converse, and a red hoodie.

You did not want to be here, it was cold, people were staring (probably because of the scar on your face, a voice in your head told you, you ignored it) and you were craving a strawberry refresher. You guess arriving an hour early wasn't the best course of action, but you were up early, not being able to sleep the night before.

Dreams of your faceless lover had once again plagued your mind. It had been a common occurrence ever since you turned 10. You would be cuddled up in the arms of a man you could not remember, but you knew him. In a soft grass field he would be holding you tightly, you would both be watching the stars, you listening as he points out different constellations, these dreams were safe, they made you feel at ease.

But all too often, these dreams would evolve into nightmares, the same 7 scenes playing out. Your therapist had said it must have been a physiological way to deal with your own insecurities. The birthmarks that littered your skin had always looked like scars. You remember talking to her when you were 12. She said it was your brain trying to justify the marks, trying to create a story for them.

You believed her. After all, she knew better, but these dreams just felt so real, so vivid. You would hear your own heartbeat slow down and hear the cries of your mystery lover as he holds onto you. You could feel the tears dripping from his face onto yours. No matter what turn these nightmares had, they always ended with you dying in his arms.

You guess Wooyoung had been right in his concern, as your best friend he knew first hand the effect these dreams had on you. The nights you wake up gasping for air, vomiting out your dinner, clawing at your neck because something in your throat is burning. The times you're awake while your consciousness is still trapped in whatever nightmare you were experiencing. He had been there since the age of 10, he had been there.

You rubbed together the two sleeves of your hoodie, starting to feel more uncomfortable as time passed by. People were walking past, laughing, and giggling at one another. You wondered what was so funny, what were they all laughing at? Were they laughing at you? no, you didn't do anything funny, did you? oh, it's your face, right? Your face is funny, it's ugly, creepy, the scar covering your eye, one you did not deserve. A mutated freak born with scars that were not earned a fake, a- "[Name]?" A hand on your shoulder disrupts your anxiety fueled thoughts.

You turn around to find a black haired man, he's a little shorter than you, although his shoulders are broad. Jawline sharp, eyes as soft as a warm blanket on a winter's night, despite the intimidating structure of the man, his eyes, his smile, his dimples, he seems inviting, familiar almost.

He stands smiling at you, the arm he used to grab your attention is hovering awkwardly in the air, his cheeks are flushed, a pink matching one of the familiar drinks in his hand. "Umm, I'm San? your date. " he seems unsure of himself, but you find it cute, having to suppress a giggle so as to not make him feel bad.

You give him a small smile as you mentally thank Wooyoung for choosing someone good looking,"Nice to meet you, San." You nod your head at him as you shift your weight between your feet. You're being so awkward right now, but something tells you that San doesn't mind.

Despite your lack of social skills, the interaction itself does not seem awkward. Although you can feel something straining it, you brush it off to first date jitters. "Oh!um I also got us some drinks, Wooyoung said you liked strawberry refreshes, although I don't know if he was messing with me. He has a tendency to do that lately, but um drink?" San asks as he lifts up the hand, holding two drinks questioningly. His shoulders seem to tense as he awaits your reaction.

"Woo didn't lie, I do like Strawberry refreshers, thank you" you nod your head at him, his shoulders relax as he lets out a breath of relief, he picks up the pink drink from the holder in his hand and gives it to you. Your fingers touch for a moment as you take the drink from him and you jump back a little, San doesn't seem all that surprised, but he chuckles "Static electricity's a bitch, huh?"

You don't think that's how it works, but you laugh along nonetheless. It's weird as you walk with San into the planetarium. You don't like new people, don't feel comfortable around them, yet with San, it's different. You feel safe with him. He feels so familiar.

You spend the day following San around the planetarium, he excitedly points out constellations, and you swear the fake stars above your head shine dimmer than the light in Sans eyes. Somewhere along the line, your hand had been intertwined with his, as a precaution to not lose one another, you told yourself.

The date ends when the sky outside matches the one in the planetarium, a dark purple background with little specks of light twinkling above you both. The date lasted the whole day and you were having so much fun you didn't even realize, Wooyoungs gonna kill you for not telling him how everything went immediately but you can't find it in yourself to care about the headache your best friend will inevitably give you tomorrow morning.

That night, you sit on your bed, smiling down at the goodnight text from San, despite him having wished you a goodnight merely a few hours before when he walked you to your dorm. That night is the first night you sleep peacefully, no dreams of your mystery lover, no dieing, no waking up in a cold sweat despite it being winter. Nothing

Instead that night you sleep, cuddled up with the tiny red star plushie that San won for you at one of the planetarium games, you named her 'astéri' the greek word for star. Also, the exact name you put as your contact for the man who won her for you.

Your relationship with San had been a fast development, one date, then two, then you start eating lunch together, he starts walking you to classes, he joins your friends and you on movie nights, he plays games with Yunho. San becomes a part of your life faster than you can imagine, and you don't even care.

It's on your hundred day anniversary, a hundred days of dates and hangouts, and obviously being together despite no official title, that San officially asks you to be his boyfriend.

It's an emotional ordeal. He made a picnic in his backyard, creating a fort where you could both lay down and watch the stars on the soft grass. It's summer now, much hotter than when you first met, you wear a red tank top. San has expressed his love for your collarbones before, and thinking back to the moment makes you blush.

He was a bit tipsy when he blurted it out, face flushed pink given the alcohol of the drinking game he had played with your friends earlier, the room was hot, filled with college boys and liquor, so of course you took off your jacket, San had started cheering, then giggling, talking about how much he liked your neck, your collarbones. You don't know if he remembers this moment, you hope he doesn't, it would save you the embarrassment.

San presents you with a necklace on the night of his confession, a black leather strap threaded through a red star that's rimmed with silver. On the back of the necklace, the name 'astéri' is carved, under it lies numbers which look like coordinates. You don't ask.

San slips the necklace around your neck, fingers trailing dangerously slow along your shoulders. You were scared at first, you liked San, loved him, as much as you trusted him, you were scared of what his reaction would be.

He may have seen you in strappy clothing before, but he's never seen the extent to which your birthmarks your scars cover your body. The worst of them were located on your waist.

Despite your hesitance, the way San looks at you after you agree to be his, after you agree to let him be yours, it makes you want to kiss him, let him embrace every part of you and let you do the same to him.

He looks at you like you yourself were the star and who were you to deny a mortal access to a celestial entity?

That night, you learn the true extent of San's love for you, the way he trails his fingers overy every inch of your skin, extra soft kisses placed on the marks littering your body, he's gentle almost as if he knows the phantom pains they bring you, despite you never having told him.

That night you and San become, you and San, under the stars. On the soft blanket he laid out in his backyard as the warm wind of summer nips at your exposed skin.

It's when you're lying down, breathless, in between San's arms that he starts talking, answering your question from earlier that night. The numbers on the back of the necklace, the coordinates, are of a star San bought in your name. He literally bought you a star and named it 'astéri'.

"You deserve the whole galaxy, and yet I do not have the power to retrieve it for you. This way, you can have a piece of the outer world, and it can have a piece of you"

You don't think you've ever felt so loved in your life. You had fallen for San so quickly, so hard. It's hard to imagine a time when he wasn't in your life, despite the fact that you hadn't known him long, everything with him just felt so right.

You were sure you were meant to be with San in every lifetime, meant to spend every moment of your life with him. When you told him this, it had been the first time you ever saw him cry, genuinely cry. It was as if your words affected him more than you knew. You're sure they did.

That's one thing you never did understand about San, he has told you everything about himself, but you still felt as if something was missing, a piece of information locked away, it was like he was guarding it, scared you would find out. He thought he hid it well, but you prided yourself on knowing people, knowing your boyfriend. You trusted him. He would tell you when he was ready.

You and San would watch the stars burn out together, watch the world fall in each others arms, protected by a love so pure that the only thing left in the universe would be you and San

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland @itsvxlentine @liyatime @hetalia-pol @mommahwa1117

Home page | Ateez masterlist

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seospicybin · 8 months

Text

VIEWFINDER.

PART II

Seungmin x reader x Lee Know. (s,a)

Chapters: Part I

Synopsis: An accidental reunion sets the sparks fly between you and Seungmin, but the relationship takes a turn at the end of the summer and you seek help from your frenemy, Minho. (20,2k words)

Author's note: Contains angst and 2min fighting for you. Enjoy!

📼 Viewfinder playlist.

Summer break has ended and the first time you're dreading it. You are usually excited to go back. You always come with new goals and study plans, starting all over with a refreshed spirit after the long break.

Rina is strangely quiet about you not coming home for days until one day before the summer break ends. When you came home yesterday, she only looked at you for a moment then eyeing the food you brought.

Food is the best option to solve problems and cure heartbreak. She seems to have moved on though or she's covering it well with her usual bright smile and glossy lips.

"Can't wait to go back to university life," she says with sheer sarcasm, throwing her bag onto the sofa.

"Yeah," you half-heartedly respond while pouring coffee into her favorite mug.

"That's weird," she says, folding her legs on the sofa and taking her mug of coffee from you, "You usually would give a speech about how excited I should be."

You dryly laugh and sit on the armrest of the sofa. It feels awkward being with her after living with Seungmin for weeks, you have to keep reminding yourself to be careful around her.

"So... how are you?" You ask, followed by a sip of coffee.

"Feeling like shit actually," she bluntly answers.

So she hasn't fully recovered yet from the break-up, and you feel bad for your absence at such dire times.

"I'm sorry for not being here," you sincerely apologize.

She waves you off and swallows her coffee, "You're spending time with someone and you seem happy so who am I to stop you?"

That puts some weight off your chest and you feel at ease after hearing that.

"Although, I'm disappointed that you haven't introduced him to me yet," she says, narrowing her eyes at you.

You close your eyes as guilt paints over your face, "Promise, I'll make time and introduce him to you."

"Okay, good!" Rina simply responds and starts checking her phone as it rapidly dings with new notifications.

You check the time and it's time to go, you have to ride a bicycle to campus so time management is crucial for you.

"I have class at 8," you announce as you put your coffee mug into the sink and quickly grab your bag from your bedroom, "Bye, Rina!"

You're riding your bicycle while enjoying the warm sunlight when another bicycle almost crashes at you, forcing you to brake and almost sending you to crash.

"It's too early for this, Minho!" You groan in complaint.

"I'm surprised you didn't dress like a biker chick with a leather jacket and spiked boots," he jokingly says, taking a jab at you.

"I'm surprised that you didn't ride a motorcycle yourself."

Minho likes to think that he's that intimidating, well, he could be at times but you're never scared of him. You give him the side eyes and notice that he changes his hair color into soft brown which softens his sharp facial features.

You laugh and click your tongue at him, "I'm not aware that robot gets jealous. They must have updated your software while I was away."

"Me? Jealous?" He innocently asks.

"Buy a motorcycle and grow up, Minho!" You say while paddling towards the gate of the campus, leaving him behind you to not let him drag your spirit down when you need it the most.

Summer hasn't completely left yet and you want to soak as much sun as you can before the weather turns colder but you hope you stay warm inside no matter the season.

The time isn't right.

When you have time, Seungmin is busy working and when he has time, you're busy studying. This is why you hate being away from him, your heart aches and is heavy with longing for him. The only way to solve it is by making time. You dash out of the room the second the last class ends and bicycle your way back to the apartment to the point that your legs burning.

Thank God, Rina isn't home yet or she'll ask you a ton of questions before letting you walk out of the door. Remembering how much Seungmin likes seeing you in a dress, you borrow one from Rina's closet and call a taxi to get you to his apartment.

Since Seungmin sometimes uses his apartment as a workplace, he keeps the door unlocked at all times and you push the door with your shoulder while carrying the food you bought on the way with the plan of having dinner with him.

There is no one inside and it's not like you have any other options, you put the bags of food on the kitchen island and grab yourself a glass of water. As you're about to pour yourself another glass of water, the door swings open and Seungmin comes through the door, his hair is disheveled and you guess it's from wearing a helmet.

"Hi," you quickly greet him but keep a space to not creep him out.

"Hey," he says, looking slightly taken aback and you're sure it's because you came without telling him.

"I'm sorry I came without telling you," you say because it's always safe to apologize first.

"I just—"

Now that he has acknowledged your presence and you're not creeping him up for coming unannounced, you walk up to him and kiss him. A kiss that slowly revives you and brings you back to life, God knows you needed it so badly. You gasp when you let go of the kiss, "I just miss you so much."

Seeing his face and not kissing him is impossible, you allow yourself to kiss him again, a little longer than the first one.

"Okay, I'm— I brought us food and we can have dinner together. It's you..." your word trails off as someone appears behind him, a girl with a model body and beautiful long, blonde hair.

"Oh, you have a guest!" You wildly assume, trying to fill in the awkward silence that passes between the three of you.

Seungmin turns to look at her and says, "Can you wait in the studio?"

"Sure," she answers, carrying her purse with her in the direction of the studio with a big sliding door that separates it from his private space.

He then looks at you and says, "Come with me!"

Science says that whenever you get a bad feeling, it's actually anxiety, and as much as you hate to admit it, it could be both.

You and Seungmin sit on the end of the bed, he's softly smiling at you as he fixes your hair. That usually works to soothe you but not now. Your hands are balled into fists on your lap and you just want to vomit all of your thoughts out.

"You're working tonight?"

"She's working with you?"

"It's okay if you are, I'll just go and—"

Oh God! It's happening, you're rambling. It's the anxiety-talking, not you. The only thing that stops you is your body turns against you and makes you choke on air midsentence.

"That is Yoora," he answers, "We worked together a few times and we've been hanging all afternoon."

It's the way he casually shares all that information with such ease that gets your nails digging into the inside of your hands.

"Hanging out, huh?" You almost lose your breath at the end of the sentence.

Seungmin places his hand on yours and calmly speaks, "Before I speak further, can you please keep your mind open? Can you do that for me?"

You nod as you feel your windpipe is closing in and making it harder for you to breathe.

"I like you very, very much," he begins.

"But I'm not used to conventional things. Social obligations and forced conversations. Saying no to all the things I want to say yes to," he shakes his head in despise of those things.

Your mind is scrambled to even try to stick with one thought or any thought for that matter.

"And that includes dating."

No matter what he's trying to say, it seems like the only conclusion you make in your head is that he wants to stop dating you.

"Do you want to break up with me?" You croak.

"No, no," he quickly denies.

Seungmin quietly inhales air and licks his lips before speaking, "I want to keep dating you but I want our relationship to be an open one."

You can't force your brain to work with the lack of oxygen and anxiety taking over, "What do you mean?"

"We're dating each other but at the same time, we're free to see someone else," he explains.

Yes, you do know what an open relationship is but what you're questioning is how calm he is about this. This is how far you let your mind open yet you still have a hard time processing it.

"Look, I'll understand if you don't want to do this but I want to give this a shot. We have the—"

You hold your hand up to stop him talking and take your hands from under him, "Give me a minute!"

Turning your head the other way and look out the window to see your reflection against the dark of the night sky yet you still can't make sense of everything. You look at him and force yourself to smile, "I need time to think."

"Okay," he says with a nod.

You get up from the bed and wipe your clammy hands on the hem of your dress which reminds you of how you made the time to come here only to receive a shocking revelation. Seungmin is trailing behind you as you take your jacket and purse from the sofa. You walk in the direction of the door and see that the blonde girl is unpacking the food you brought.

"Can I eat this?" She asks, not sure if she's asking you or Seungmin.

You glance at Seungmin and then at her, "Yes, you can have it. Please, don't let it go to waste," you say with an edge to your voice.

After what he asked of you, you can't bring yourself to look at him and not feel bitter about it. Maybe it's your fault for thinking you're that special to him.

Seungmin blocks you from getting to the door, "Hey, I hope you know that I meant it when I said I like you," he says.

Well, that only makes you guess how many times he has said that or more importantly, how many girls. He puts his hand under your chin and forces you to look at him.

"You're not like the other girls I know. We were married once," Seungmin tries to be playful but it falls short on your end.

You put on a weak smile for him as you stare into his eyes, hoping he can see how devastated he makes you feel right now.

"Can I kiss you?"

You wonder if his kisses would either heal or break you apart so you nod.

Seungmin caresses your cheek and tells you the answer with a soft kiss on your lips. You look down the second your lips parted and tell yourself that maybe you shouldn't have been curious. That's just you, blessed with inquisitiveness. You read books because you want to know and the more you know the less afraid you would be when faced with a strange situation like this.

However, for the first time in your life, you don't want to know the answer to this.

The plan is to stop thinking about Seungmin.

However, the more you try to distract yourself from it, the more you think of him. He's not only invading your head, he's overriding your life altogether. You're hardly studying, you can't sleep, you lost your appetite, you come home only to wallow more in your room. It's been like that for a week.

Also a week without Seungmin calling or texting you, it's like the whole summer has gone away with the season.

When the professor announces that there'll be a quiz today, you're not confident you'll get a good score. Somehow, you let your discouraging thoughts manifest into reality. As you stare at the score written in red ink, you can't even be mad about it. It seems like you're going to keep spiraling down from here.

"Am I dreaming or I saw you got a C minus?" Minho says, peeking at your graded paper from behind you.

You crumple it in your hand and angrily shove it into your bag, not answering him. You're stomping your way out of the class to get away from everyone, and can't wait to go home to be by yourself again.

Your hand is rummaging inside your bag, looking for the key to the chain lock and almost having a breakdown for couldn't find it quick enough to avoid Minho.

"Congratulations Minho, you're smarter than me," you quickly say to him because that seems to be what he seeks from you, a validation that he finally gets ahead of you.

You put your bag into the basket with a loud thud and bend down to unlock the bike from the rack in silence.

"Drinks then? It's on me," Minho offers, standing with one hand on the handlebar of his bike.

"No, thanks," you answer without thinking then.

Minho shifts his weight to one side and slings his backpack on one shoulder, "Hey, are you okay?"

"How am I doing has nothing to do with the reason why I don't want to drink with you. I just don't have time for your self-centered, snobby remarks," you tell him, a little too harsh to be honest.

This is why you need to get away from people, you don't want to lash out at them. The words are out of your mouth, the damage has been done and all you need to do is leave.

You back your bicycle out of the rack but Minho quickly grabs you by the elbow, stopping you before another cycler crashes into you.

"HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WALK YOUR BIKE OUT BEFORE RIDING IT!" Minho scolds him even though he keeps riding away, unbothered.

He turns to look at you and asks again with his hand on your shoulder, "Are you really okay?"

You don't know why he chooses right now to be nice to you, you shrug his hand away from you and leave his question unanswered.

The heat that usually clung to the air has been replaced with a cool one, you're riding your bike with your eyes staying on the road and your mind wandering away from your body. It's muscle memory that helps you to keep paddling your way home without you having to order your brain to do it so and your reflex is still working when you make a quick turn to avoid two people carrying a big box across the street and in the process, you lost your balance and fall to the side, then onto the sidewalk.

You don't feel anything even after you arrive home and only notice a bruise on your ribcage when you change your clothes.

"Oh, God! That's a nasty bruise," Rina comments as she barges into the room without knocking like usual.

"I fell on my bike," you inform before she gets the wrong idea.

She takes a look at it and touches the skin, making you yelp in pain, "You should put ice on it," she says.

Rina wraps a few ice cubes in a thin towel, then sits next to you on the couch, slowly putting it on your bruised ribcage.

You hiss in pain while taking over the homemade ice pack from her, gently pressing on it, "Thank you!"

"Do not ride your bike for a while," she suggests, looking at you with worry.

You nod because there's no use fighting a losing fight.

Rina picks up her book and instead of reading it, she puts it on her lap. It seems like she has something else to say to you.

"Just say it..." you meekly allow her despite how blunt she can be.

She takes a breath and lets it out until both of her shoulders slumped, "Are you okay?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" You sigh and rest your head back.

Rina puts her book away and turns on the couch to face, "Because you've been acting not like yourself lately. You're always in your room, you're barely talking to me and you don't even care that there's an expired carton of milk in the fridge right now," she lists out all of the things that are way out of your pattern of behavior.

"You always care about everything and now... it's just like you've given up, completely," she sadly adds.

She inhales air and asks again with concerns filling her light brown eyes, "What happened?"

You're not ready to talk about Seungmin to Rina. Not only that you haven't introduced him yet to her but that also means, she will not get the whole picture of what truly happened between you and Seungmin.

"Is it because of the guy you're seeing?" She asks like she's seeing through your head.

Rina is quick-witted so it's no surprise that she knows right away that the source of this change of attitude is an external one. She scoots closer and puts her hand on your knee, "Did you guys break up?"

It's time for you to take a deep breath and carefully answer her, "No, it's... complicated."

"Oh, no," Rina reacts by closing her eyes and letting out a dramatic sigh, "Complicated means it's even worse than breaking up."

Hates it when she's always right but Rina has more experience in dating and romance which automatically makes her smarter than you.

"So what is it? Does he have a problem getting it up? Weird kinks? Oh!" She suddenly gasps in surprise with both hands covering her mouth. She suddenly lowers her voice to say, "Are you pregnant?"

You groan in disgust and quickly deny, "No, it's not that."

Rina takes another guess at it and wipes her hands down her thighs, “Well if it has nothing to do with the sexual stuff then… commitment issue?”

Can’t tell if Rina is good at guessing or if all men have the same basic problem? But it’s taking you aback how spots on her guess is that you don’t know how to respond to it.

She raises her eyebrows at you knowing that she guessed it correctly, “Oh, it’s so classic,” she says with a smirk.

“It’s not exactly that but it’s around the commitment area,” you correct her.

Rina’s forehead wrinkled into a question. As she opens her mouth to say something, the doorbell rings. You both look at each other, trying to guess who’s behind that door because none of you ordering food or expecting a guest.

“I’ll get it,” Rina volunteers and walks to the door to open it.

You wait on the couch in anticipation, you don’t want to get your hopes up, but at the same time, your hopes are already flying higher than your expectation. You hear Rina chatting by the door before walking back inside.

“An attractive young man is looking for you,” Rina announces with a sly smile.

There’s someone behind her and as she walks closer, she steps aside to reveal the person walking behind her.

It’s him, the bruise that reminds you of your heartache, Seungmin.

After introducing him to Rina like she wanted, you take Seungmin to your bedroom to avoid Rina eavesdropping on your conversation and close the door behind you. You pull the chair from your study desk to slowly sit on it while Seungmin sits on the edge of the bed facing you. It wasn’t what you expected him to see when he walked in on you sitting on the couch, wounded.

“What happened?” He asks.

It’s not good to second-guess his intention but ever since that night, you keep wondering about the way he treated you. Was he being genuine? Was he faking it just to keep you wrapped around his little finger?

“Fell off my bike. It’s not a big deal,” you keep your answer short.

Seungmin seems to have expected this attitude coming from you and you believe it’s because he knows he deserves it. He sheepishly smiles and nods.

“At least, let me treat it for you,” he says.

You hug yourself to not let him see it, it’s already enough for him to see you’re hurting, “No, I’m alright now.”

He reaches for your hand and turns it to show you the scrape you have on the heel of your palm, “Let me take care of it for you.”

His hand is warm like the last time you hold it but you remember you shouldn’t have let him in and try to retract your hand from his, but his grip is strong. He takes the first-aid kit Rina brought to your room earlier.

Seungmin carefully dabs ointment on the scrape and then blows on it to soothe the pain. You hate to admit it but you long to share a moment like this with him and he’s so tender, so caring, he makes you feel like you’re the only one in the world. He’s still like a dream to you.

Once he safely covers your wound with a bandage, he holds your hand in his with his thumb softly rubbing on the back of your hand. He leans forward and looks at you, his eyes reminding you of summer days, bright and warm.

“I miss you,” his voice is as soft as the breeze slipping through the window.

You’re close to breaking but you put on a strong face, staring him right in the eyes, and say, “It doesn’t seem like that to me.”

Seungmin holds your gaze like you’re holding the galaxy in your eyes and trying to find out what’s lurking beyond the vast darkness. He takes your other hand and holds it on your lap as if it would help him find what he’s looking for.

“You didn’t call, you didn’t text,” your voice breaks at the end of the sentence and you can’t hold yourself together again.

“I can’t help but think that you don’t want me anymore.”

And right now, as he stares into your eyes, he’s seeing you wounded from the inside too.

“I just thought you need the space and time to think,” he tells you.

You break into tears and fall apart in front of him, there’s no use in hiding your pain anymore. You melt the moment he holds his arms out for you and into his welcoming embrace where it’s safe and comfortable, a haven.

“I miss you so much,” you admit and your heart shrinks in your chest.

Seungmin pulls you by the hands to let you sit on his lap and not waste time wrapping his arms around you so tightly, forgetting about the bruise you have.

“Ouch,” you shriek in pain and hurriedly put his hand away from where your bruise is.

“How about we lay down, mmh?” he suggests.

Oh, how you miss his scent! He smells of sunshine, leather, and fabric softener, he’s of everything that makes you think of the summer when he took you on trips on his motorcycle. Your eyes are closed as you drink in his scent while he lightly runs his fingertips down your arm.

Seungmin gently kisses your arm and looks at you, “Are you still awake?”

“Mmh,” you answer with your eyes closed.

Endearingly, he puts the strands of hair covering your face and puts it to the side, “I don’t know if you believe this kind of thing but I think fate brought us back together again.”

You open your eyes and his eyes are the first thing you see, “You think so?”

“I waited years to meet you again and I feel there’s something here,” he speaks while brushing away the hair covering your face.

Hearing him being honest and open makes you realize that you owe him for not listening to what he had to say that night. This time, you want to give him the chance to explain himself.

“It’s the first time in my life that I feel this deeply for someone and it’s you,” he says as he puts your hair to the side and holds it there.

"I want to do it right with you and that's why I chose to be honest with you," he adds.

You hold his gaze as he speaks his heart out against the quiet of your room and your hand intertwined with his in the space between your bodies.

“But I understand if you don’t want to give this a shot. I just want to let you know that… I really like you, I do.”

Maybe it is possible to be in a relationship as long as you mainly focus on his true feelings for you and that's the only truth you need.

Who knows that with time Seungmin will realize that you're the only one he needs?

"I like you," you say back to him.

Seungmin brings your hand close to his mouth to kiss you and you use the chance to softly brush his lips with your knuckle.

It's not going to be easy but all you need to do is be more understanding and open-minded, you believe you can do those things for the sake of this relationship, for the sake of you and him.

"And I think we should give it a chance," you give your final answer to him.

A smile rises on his beautiful face and he leans in to kiss you, a soft kiss that pieces you back together and makes you whole. A kiss that once broke your heart but now revives it back to life. A kiss that has found its magic back.

"Thank you," he murmurs and he leans in again to place a long peck on your lips.

Seungmin lends his arm for you to use as a pillow and you're more than happy to comply, snuggling close into his body and leaving no gap between your bodies.

He repeatedly runs his hair through your hair and then softly asks, "Sleepy?"

You hum your answer while tightening your arm around him while he angles your head to place a soft, lingering kiss on your lips.

"Goodnight," he says right after he pulls away from the kiss.

How are you going to sleep with the butterflies fluttering in your stomach?

It's painful to put clothes on with the darkening bruise on your ribcage.

You're doing your usual morning routine, shower, breakfast, and skipping reading the news to focus on making your coffee. You're nervous about it since Seungmin takes his coffee seriously. It's not going to be as good as his but you try your best to at least make good coffee. You get startles startled when he appears with his eyes still sleepy and fluffy bedhead.

"You didn't wake me up," he says, trudging his way to you.

"You sleep so well. I feel bad if I have to wake you up," you answer.

He stops to stand next to you and sleepily smiles, "Morning!"

"Morning!" You say back with a smile, "Coffee?"

"Yes, please!" He sweetly answers.

You're reaching up for the cabinet to get mugs and yelp in pain, forgetting about the bruised ribcage.

"I'll get it for you," Seungmin offers, getting the mugs easily without having to stand on his tiptoes like you always do.

"Thank you," you carefully fill the two mugs with hot, steaming coffee.

You look at him as he takes a small sip, anticipating his reaction to your coffee, "Is it good?"

He takes another sip before answering, "It's fine."

You let out a quiet sigh of relief and can finally sip your coffee.

"Does it still hurt?" He asks, leaning the side of his body against the kitchen island.

"Only when I lift my arms," you reply.

Seungmin doesn't hesitate to lift your blouse to take a look at your bruise, observing it without touching it because he knows it'll be painful for you.

"Put ice on it regularly," he suggests, slowly letting go of your blouse.

"Okay," you reply.

"Don't ride your bike for now," he adds.

"Yes," you respond with a smile.

Seungmin takes another sip with his hand lingers on your hips, "I'll take you to campus today."

"No, it's okay, you don't have to," you kindly refuse, holding your coffee mug with both hands while looking up at him.

"I'm not asking," he says with his eyes staring at you.

You can't help seeing his hair tousled and not try to brush it for him, you put your coffee away so you can fix his hair.

"I'll finish the coffee and use your bathroom," he says, closing his eyes as you brush his hair to the back with your fingers.

"Clean towel on the top of the rack," you inform.

"Then I'll take you to campus," he continues.

"Okay," you put your hands away to let him go.

Seungmin opens his eyes and finds yours immediately, "Maybe after I give you kisses too," he says while putting down his coffee mug.

You are not prepared when he presses his lips on yours. The first kiss is a long peck on your lips and after that, he repeatedly pecks on your lips, making you giggle. In your peripheral vision, the door of Rina's bedroom is open and she's just standing there watching Seungmin kissing you in the kitchen. She eventually interrupts by clearing her throat.

"Good morning!" She cheerily says.

Seungmin reluctantly stops kissing you but keeps his hand on your waist, "Morning!"

"Coffee!" You quickly grab a new mug for him and Seungmin is kind enough to get it for you.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom," Seungmin says, leaving you and Rina alone in the kitchen.

Rina is staring at you with a wicked grin on her face as you're pouring her a cup of coffee, making you feel uneasy. She waits until the sound of the shower is turned on to start drilling you with questions.

"So, that's the summer guy?"

"Yes."

"He's the one with the commitment issue?"

"Ah... yes," you awkwardly answer.

"I see that the issue has been solved," she says with her glossy lips curling into a sly smile.

You stall by sipping your coffee, "uhm... yes."

"I bet it was with one hot makeup sex," she wildly guesses.

You almost choked on your coffee hearing that because that isn't what happened. Last night, the two of you did solve the issue together then fell asleep right afterwards.

"No," you strongly deny.

Runa bursts into laughter, "Oh, my God! Chill! I'm just glad you stopped looking depressed and unmotivated," she says.

She lifts her coffee mug close to her mouth and adds, "Also glad that I don't have to hire a contract killer to hunt down the person who broke your heart."

You laugh at her words and refill her mug with more coffee to show your gratitude. Rina may seem bold and flippant, but you know that she actually cares deeply for you.

Seungmin holds out his hand to help you hop onto the back of the motorcycle. The campus is not that far so he rides slowly, holding your hand that is resting on his waist to shove it into the pocket of his leather jacket.

Suddenly, you don't want this ride to end, you want to ditch everything and just go wherever he takes you even if it's to the end of the world. You reluctantly get off the bike when he pulls up at the gate of the campus, slowly taking off your helmet to stall the time.

He also takes his helmet off, ignoring how disheveled his hair looks but that only makes him more attractive and you hate that everyone else can see him.

"Have a great day!" he wishes with a bright smile that softens his facial features, making him look like a puppy.

You hand him the helmet and wish the same for him, "You too. Have a great day!"

He reaches for your waist and pulls you close, smiling as he presses a soft kiss on your lips. At that moment, you don't care where you are or if anybody is watching. He holds the side of your face after letting go of the kiss, "I'll call you later, mmh?"

"Okay," you answer with a shy smile.

Taking you by surprise, he kisses you again and triumphantly smiles when he pulls away, "I'm going."

"Be careful!"

He puts his helmet on and you frown because that means there'll be no more surprise kisses. He turns the engine on and rides with the wind that brings him back to you.

The promise you made to yourself is that you'll keep your mind open and be more understanding.

There's not much changing except that he calls you once in a while or sends you a text when he's in the middle of work. You appreciate the effort and that he's keeping you in his thoughts. Seungmin has been keeping you on read for hours now and you try to distract yourself by watching a movie with Rina, you even made a bowl of popcorn for you to snack on together.

"It's Friday night," Rina blurts out of the blue with the bowl of popcorn resting close to her chest.

"And tomorrow is Saturday, yes, the point is...?" You half-heartedly ask her back.

"You have a boyfriend now. Aren't you supposed to be out and show the world how in love you are?" She says without looking at you.

"He's working tonight," you lie because it's easier than giving her the chance to analyze your relationship.

She turns her head to look at you and puts the bowl of popcorn on her lap, "Tell him you're alone at home, and trust me, he'll come running!"

You scoff because you know it'll hardly work on him and he probably gets that kind of text already, but they're most likely from the other girls, not you.

Now that she gets you thinking of the other girls Seungmin is seeing, you get up from the couch and go into your room. As you lay on your bed staring at the ceiling, you think of Rina's trick, it may be fallible, yes but it's worth trying. Instead of texting him, you call him and will keep on calling him until he picks up.

"Hey," you sweetly greet him as soon as he picks up the phone.

"Hey," he says back and it's nice that you can hear enthusiasm in his voice.

"What are you doing? Are you done with work?"

"Yes, I've just finished it," he answers along with rustles on his end of the line.

"Oh, that's great. How about we get dinner together?" You spontaneously ask him.

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now," you answer even though you have had your dinner already.

He sighs into the phone and then says, "I promised Lea that I'll treat her to dinner after work."

Your smile fades in a second and close your eyes, feeling defeated, "Okay, then."

There's a pause before Seungmin says something, "How about—"

"I'll see you," you abruptly end the call.

The other day it was Jane, yesterday it was Mila, and tonight, it's Lea. Another day, another girl to be worried about.

You fling your phone until it lands on the other side of the bed and sighs, "I'll see you never more like."

The next day, you have enough of giving other girls the chance to be with him. You wake up early, put on your nicest dress you just bought online, and spend an hour styling your hair, leaving the apartment even before Rina wakes up from her sleep.

You stop by the bakery on the way and buy a few baked goods, you don't bother buying the coffee because he'll only drink coffee he made himself. Except that day, Seungmin tolerated your coffee because it's you who made it. You push the door of his apartment and let yourself in, smiling because he's already awake. He's in the middle of grinding his coffee.

"How many of your muses come over in the morning bearing breakfast?" You say, showing him the bag of food you bring with you.

"Good thing I always brew a pot of coffee," he says in response.

He walks up to you, taking the bag from your hand to put it on the dining table so he can hug you and properly kiss you. One kiss is all it takes to remind you that a part of him is dearly yours and no one can take that away from you. You hold him back and hold on to him, returning his kiss with the same passion.

"Morning," he says with his lips glistening wet from the kiss.

You smile looking into his warm brown eyes, "Morning!"

Seungmin continues making his coffee and it's better to give him the space to do his morning ritual, you use the chance to take a look into his studio. You can see the trace of his works from last night from the lights and the props are still there, his computer is already on and you wonder if he's been up all night working. You return to the kitchen with a cup of coffee already waiting for you and you pull a chair to sit next to him.

"Did you stay up all night working?" You ask in curiosity.

"Kind of," he answers.

You frown and suddenly regret for coming when he needs the time to rest, "I'm sorry for coming without telling you."

He shakes his head and takes out a piece of pastry out of the bag, "I should be the one apologizing for not replying to your texts and the call."

You wave him off, "It’s okay. I was stupid for asking when I knew you were busy."

The morning sun hits him right on the eyes, making them shine as he softly gazes at you, "I want to show you something!"

He takes you back into his studio where he pushes the button to automatically close the windows, making it completely dark with the only source of light coming from the computer screen.

"Please, wait!" He tells you as he operates the computer, pulling a file from so many folders stored on his computer.

It gives you the itch at how unorganized his computer filing is but you hold the urge to say something. You look away and patiently wait like he asked you.

Then the projection turns on and shows moving images on the wall, you can't see it at first but after a moment, you recognize that it's you. These are all the pictures he took of you when you first came here, also the ones he took after he first kissed you that night.

"Is that me?" You ask in disbelief.

The girl in the pictures is beautiful, bright, and happy, it's nothing like you've seen countless times in the mirror. Seungmin hugs you from the back and watches it together with you with his hands wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.

"It's you," he assures you.

It's like seeing a side of you that you never knew you had but you believe it's because you were in love.

"What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," you delightfully sigh.

"You are beautiful," he says with a gentle kiss on your cheek.

You slightly turn your head to the side at him, "But it's also weird looking at myself, not that this is weird but seeing myself..." you look back at the projection and continue talking, "... like this."

He turns his head at you and says, "Well, you have to get used to this because you're my source of inspiration," he coyly says.

Seungmin must be oblivious to how much his words affect you. Your cheeks are heating and your heart is leaping, it means so much more that he said you're his source of inspiration. In that moment, you believe that it's possible to be his one and only, it takes time but you're willing to wait until he's ready.

You turn around to face him and look into his eyes, there are so many things you want to say to him but at the same time, you can't fathom them into words. You show it through a kiss instead, showing him how much he means to you by passionately kissing him and putting your hands around him to show that you don't want to let go.

Seungmin tightens his hold around you, one hand holding the nape of your neck so he can angle your head as he pleases so he can deepen the kiss and taste you more. He only lets go to let you catch a breath and capture your lips in a kiss again, harder and hungrier than before.

The sound of the door being slammed shut stops the kiss and you see through the doorway that someone is coming into the apartment.

"Am I early or...?" The girl asks.

Seungmin checks on his watch and says, "No. You're actually right on time."

He glances at you and introduces her to you, "This is Yoon. She models for me."

"Ah..." you lowly gasp and suddenly, you feel like you're getting in between them instead of the other way.

"I should go," you hurriedly walk out of the studio.

"No. Please, stay!" Seungmin says.

You grab your bag from the dining table and sling it on your shoulder, "I have something," you lie.

You're aware you have to sound believable when you lie, "I have to go shopping with Rina. She's waiting for me."

Seungmin is following you as you're walking to the door but you just want to get out of there quickly, "I'll call you later. Bye!"

You close the door behind you and never look back, but it seems like Seungmin doesn't bother to chase after you.

It's only ten in the morning, but you don't want to go home and risk being asked by Rina why you dressed so nicely on a Saturday morning. You stop by a grocery store and buy a loaf of bread, walking in the direction of the park to clear your head while feeding the ducks by the pond.

"Where are you going with a loaf of bread?" Someone asks.

You turn on your feet and see Minho, stopping on his bicycle to talk to you. You feel horrible for the way you treated him that day.

"To the park," you answer.

"And what are you going to do with the bread?" He asks, eyeing the bag of bread you're holding in one hand.

It's an embarrassing thing to admit but after what you did that day, you remind yourself to be better than shrugging him off.

"I'm going to feed the ducks by the pond," you admit.

Minho looks at you for a moment and nods, "I'll come with you."

He gets off his bicycle and decides to walk it as you both navigate your way through the park to the pond where a flock of ducks swimming by the pond.

"For you," Minho hands you a cup of coffee.

The coffee tastes bland compared to the coffee Seungmin made but you thank Minho nonetheless. You're ripping the bread into pieces before throwing it to the mother duck with her ducklings trailing behind her.

"So this is what you do on the weekend?" He asks.

Minho is wearing a knitted sweater that looks a size too big for him yet somehow it looks good on him. The royal blue color suits him well.

"Not really," you take another slice of bread to shred it into pieces, "I come here when I need to clear my head."

Minho cracks a laugh, "What could possibly piss you off this early in the morning?"

You shrug and toss a big chunk of bread to the other mother of duck.

"I assume it's a who, not a what," he says, then sips her coffee.

He then takes a slice of bread and helps you feed the duck as another flock gathers around you.

"That explains why you were upset that day," he says with a sly smile on his face.

Minho sees through you like you're a ply of tissue which instantly makes him more dangerous than Rina. Also, he is being polite when he says you're just 'upset' when he has the right to say you were such a bitch that day. You refrain from sharing more about how he can easily conclude with a few details and it reminds you to apologize.

"I want to say sorry for that day," you sincerely tell him.

One corner of his mouth curls into a lopsided smile, "It's alright."

It's the last slice of bread you're holding and before the ducks are asking for more, you walk away from the edge of the pond.

"Why are you walking so fast?" Minho asks while fumbling to collect the coffee cups to throw into the trash bin nearby.

"The ducks are going to chase us asking for more food," you turn from jogging to half-running.

The lunch is surprisingly delightful and you get to talk in a civil manner like normal people. Minho ends up paying for it since he pulls his credit card faster than you.

"Let's say we're even," he says.

He offers to give you a bike ride home again but with the previous experience and you've just had food in your stomach, you decide to switch the role this time.

"Only if I'm the one riding," you tell him, not wasting time to get on his bike.

He laughs at your idea, "Are you sure? I'm heavy."

The more he tries to underestimate you because you're a girl, the more challenged you are. You wave him off and tie your hair into a ponytail.

"Just hop on!"

Minho is right to underestimate you. You've been riding the same street for years and only realize now that a few of them are inclining.

"Are you sure you don't want to switch?" He asks from behind you.

You shake your head and pretend to be okay even though your legs are burning from paddling, "Nah. We're only a block away."

Minho silently laughs behind you, "Well, if you insist."

He is supposed to prevent himself from falling but it's the other way, he's holding you by the shoulders to keep you balanced.

"We're almost there!" He says, squeezing your shoulders with his hands.

You can see your apartment building and paddle the bike with the remaining strength you have, wanting to end this torture you put on yourself as fast as you can. It takes everything in you not to crash the bike and pass out on the pavement, you patiently wait for Minho to get off first, then park the bike next to the pole of a streetlight.

"Told you I'm heavy," Minho says.

You shake your head, still trying to play cool about it, "I haven't been cycling for a while so..." you can't even finish your sentence because your mouth is too busy catching your breath.

After a moment of Minho pretending to care for his bicycle when he's actually giving you time to compose yourself. When he deems that you're no longer panting, he turns around to look at you.

"I must say I'm impressed," he says.

Your hands are on your waist as you say, "Don't hold your breath, Minho."

He lowly chuckles and stops himself from continuing, "Now, we're even."

"That's fair," you nod in agreement.

You look at him and slyly smile, "I was lying when I said the ducks were going to chase us."

"I know," he casually says.

"Then why are you running with me?"

"Cause I wanted to," he simply answers.

It's hard to process that there's a part of him that is this easygoing and just so fun to be with. You can't stop laughing at how you only discovered this part of him at a random time and Minho can't help but laugh along with you.

As the hilarity subsidies with time, you take your bag and hold it in front of you, "Thank you for lunch!"

"You're welcome," he responds with a smile that you rarely see on him, warm and friendly.

He gets on his bike and looks at you, "I'll get going then."

"Be careful," you blurt and why would you say that when he always rides his bicycle everywhere, "I mean, yeah, be... careful!"

Minho only responds with a smile, then rides away.

When you come into the apartment, Rina is sitting on the window sill and you guess she saw everything. She looks at you after you lock the door behind you.

"And where have you been?" She asks with her sly smile on.

"Lunch with Minho," you simply answer, walking to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water.

"Dressed like that?"

"I was..." You think of an alternative answer by taking a big gulp of water.

"Yeah," you decide to spare her the reason why you dressed so nicely.

"Now, that you have a boyfriend—"

You hold your hand up to stop her from talking, "Seungmin wouldn't be jealous, I can promise you that," you tell her because that's just the truth.

Seungmin is with a beautiful model named Yoon in his studio as you speak, he's not giving a damn about you going on lunch with a friend from campus.

"It's not that," Rina says.

You jerk your head away and take another gulp of water.

She walks up to you and stops behind the kitchen island, "You shouldn't lead him on."

"Can you not speak in riddles, Rina? Please?" You whine, still exhausted from giving a grown adult a ride on the bike.

"Minho likes you. You shouldn't lead him on," she makes it clear by emphasizing every word to you.

You snort and water almost comes out of your nose, "yeah, sure," you half-heartedly say, then laugh it off.

Rina follows you as you walk to your room then stops at the doorway, "Laugh and deny all you want but you know that it's true," she confidently says.

You smile at her because even if it's true, it wouldn't change a thing and Seungmin wouldn't mind with you seeing another man. But you're not going to do that, you're going to prove that you're the only one Seungmin needs.

Gone are the warm sunny days as autumn arrives with the change of the colors of the leaves. You put on your thin coat before going out of the class and on the way out of the building, Minho joins you while carrying his books in one arm.

"Have you read the email from Professor Lim?" He asks as he's descending the stairs next to you.

"What? Did I miss an assignment?" You ask back in panic and fumble to look for your phone from the pocket of your jeans.

"No, it's the invitation to his gathering," he answers.

You stop by the door and step aside, not wanting to block other people from passing by, "I don't think I'm invited," you hopelessly say.

Minho dramatically rolls his eyes at you, "You only failed one of his tests."

There it is! You open to check if it's really the invitation and indeed it is. Professor Lim only invited the brightest students in his class and knowing that your academic presence is a little declining due to personal issues, you can't lie but feel relieved that you're still considered as one.

"It's next Saturday," he says.

"Yes, I can see that," you tell him and continue walking down the stairs.

"So, who are you going to take?" He asks.

"Is it necessary to bring a plus one?" You ask with a raised eyebrow.

He shoves his hands into the pocket of his jeans, "You're not going to take your boyfriend?"

It's funny that when you hear the word boyfriend, you don't immediately think of Seungmin, he's your boyfriend but at the same time, he doesn't feel like one.

"I'll try to ask him but I'm not sure," you tell him.

You're heading to the gate since you haven't been able to ride your bike yet and Minho is following you instead of turning to the bike station.

"You didn’t ride your bike today?"

"Popped my tire yesterday and I haven't got time to take it to the shop," he replies.

Even with an extra layer of clothes you're wearing, the cold wind is slipping through you. You're rubbing your hands together to warm yourself.

"Want to get some coffee?" Minho asks.

Having a warm drink in a weather like this couldn't be more perfect, you excitedly nod at his suggestion, "Sounds nice, yeah, sure."

There's a coffee shop one block away from campus and you both exit the campus gate heading that way when a bike stops at the side of the street.

In one look, you know that it's Seungmin even though his head is hidden in a helmet. He lifts the visor and exposes his face, softly smiling at you.

You come up to him, "Seungmin? What are you doing?"

"I came to pick you up," he simply answers, then hands you a helmet.

"Come on!" He says, not asking but ordering you to get on the bike and doing it so confidently.

You remember that you were heading to get coffee with Minho, you turn to look at him while holding the helmet in front of you.

"I'm sorry but can we do coffee next time?" You ask with an apologetic smile.

Minho coyly smiles at you and shoves his hands deeper into his jeans pockets, "That's okay."

You wave bye at him before putting on the helmet and getting on the motorcycle. You feel a funny feeling seeing Minho watch as Seungmin takes you further away from him until he disappears from your sight.

Seungmin notices that you're slightly shivering from riding through the cold, autumn air. He holds your hands as the elevator is taking you to his floor. He looks at you with his body pushing you to one side of the elevator.

"You're freezing," he says.

"I'll be okay," you tell him.

He doesn't answer but unzips his leather jacket, putting your hands on each side of his waist next to keep them warm under his leather jacket, "Is it warm enough?"

You nod yet he proceeds to rub his hands up and down your arms. In this enclosed space, he's closing the gap between your bodies with each passing second. He can feel every breath you take and the pounding of your heart in this proximity.

"Better now?"

"Yes," you breathless reply.

His fingertips brush your cheek as they reach for your hair to tuck it behind your ear and you stifle a breath as he holds you there. The elevator chimes and interrupts the intense moment, he takes your hand to lead you to his apartment like you never went there before.

You understand why he seems giddy as he guides you further inside, he has prepared dinner for you with candles and everything.

"I just need to get the wine," he says, going to the kitchen to get it.

"We can order when we're here... why?" You're at a loss for words.

You get used to setting your expectations low so when he does a grand gesture like this, it's nothing like what you have in mind.

"I cooked the dinner," he informs.

"What? You cooked all of these?" You say in awe, looking up at him as he's filling your glass with wine and the aphrodisiac smell wafting around the room.

"Yeah," he says it like it's not a big deal.

He lights the candles on the center of the dining table, "It's a little cold now but I hope it suits your taste," he says.

It's the way he acts like he doesn't prepare all this for you that only elevates his attractiveness, Seungmin is one of a kind and it makes you want him more. His cooking suits your taste just right and it tastes as nice as the smile he's giving you the whole dinner. You feel content just from being able to have alone time with him.

"Are you working today?" You ask to make sure that no one is going to interrupt again.

"I finished early," he shortly answers.

You let out a low sigh of relief and sip your wine to wash the anxiety down your mouth. You can finally relax your shoulders and truly enjoy the moment with him.

"I have another surprise for you," he announces after wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of surprise because it doesn't always mean good.

"Yeah?" You nervously ask.

He gets up from his chair and holds his hand out at you which you eagerly take. He takes you in the direction of his studio and slides open the door to reveal the surprise.

"Oh, my God!" You gasp.

Seungmin turned his studio into a private art exhibition where he decorated the room with white sheets hung all over the wall and images of you projected onto them.

You cringe the moment you recognize that it's you, "It's still weird seeing my own face."

"Why? You're beautiful," he says as if it's that obvious.

He leads you to the center of the room where you can see the videos he took of you playing on each side of the wall at the same time. They look like dreams from the past but in the best way, you like how it reminds you of those summer days when everything was much warmer, brighter, and less complicated.

You look down and see that he put a bed on the floor, "That's so presumptuous of you," you say as you sit down on the bed.

Seungmin is slyly smiling as he takes a seat next to you and props one hand against the bed, "Well, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

You turn your head to the side and get greeted by his stare, "But I want to do... anything," you say.

He's already gone as you catch his eyes staring at your lips, he looks into your eyes again to say, "That's even better."

Is it pathetic of you to say that you miss being touched by him? Well, Seungmin can see how you crumble at the faintest of his touch on you. If it wasn't a sudden invitation, you would have dressed so nicely and put on a nice pair of lingerie. From the way he looks at you with eyes wide and heavy with lust, you're thankful that the matching underwear you're wearing is flattering enough for him.

"So beautiful," he sighs with his knuckles rubbing the back of your thigh.

He leans down to kiss your neck and chest, pulling away to look at you then sighs, "So warm..."

Only using the tip of his fingers, he places fluttering touches across your chest and murmurs, "So soft..."

He then uses his mouth to make a trail of kisses down the front of your body, stopping when his lips meet the waistband of your underwear.

Seungmin doesn't hesitate to plant his nose on your clothed core and takes a sniff at it. His hand smoothly parts your leg open and keeps it open by curving his arm around it. Through the sheer fabric of your underwear, he traces the bundle of your nerves with his tongue, circling it until it's soaked with a mix of his saliva and your essence.

Impatient, he puts the underwear to the side so he can put his mouth on your wetness, lapping at it like a man with an endless thirst. Lying on the bed almost naked with his head between your legs, you bite a finger between your teeth to muffle your noises.

Seungmin knows how to make you feel good and when he thinks using his mouth is not enough, he adds his fingers to stimulate you more. Your back is arching, slowly pulsating your hips at his face and riding on his slender fingers that curl inside you, lowly moaning through your parted mouth.

"Oh, my..." you sigh with your hands now grasping the sheet under you.

Seungmin takes your hand and slips it in his hair, wanting you to tug at it. He dives deeper into your wetness, his tongue endlessly teasing your clit, and sucks on it hard that earned him a loud moan from you. As the knot tightens inside you, your legs start to press into his head but that doesn't stop him from pleasing you until you cum all over his mouth.

Seungmin drags his glistening wet mouth across your stomach and places kisses on each breast before placing his mouth on you, kissing you so deep that it takes your breath away. He leaves you gasping for air once he lets go of the kiss, going for your neck to plant kisses on the sensitive skin. His hand smoothly pulls your soaked underwear down your legs without you realizing.

You do the same by opening the buttons of his shirt, removing every piece of clothing so you can every inch of his warm skin and taut muscles.

"I dreamed of you fucking me every night," Seungmin whispers.

You giggle as his breath tickles your ear, "Do you want me to?"

He doesn't answer but turns over on the bed and you're lying on top of him, his hand glides down your spine and stops at the curve of your ass, squeezing the ample flesh there as he presses a long kiss on your lips.

Seungmin is underneath you yet you feel intimidated as you're straddling him on the bed, his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second. You begin by reaching for the clasp of your bra on your back and take it off, slowly letting it slide down your arms, then you see that his eyes are slightly faltering at the sight of your naked body sitting on top of him.

Instead of feeling shy, you get a boost of confidence from the way Seungmin admires your body with eyes that light up in fiery desire and hands that endlessly explore places that make you lustfully sigh. You put your hands on his chest and slowly, drag them down, you watch as he whimpers as your hands stop on his abdomen. Your eyes flick at his then down at his hardening member, wrapping your hand around him to slowly stroking it.

You can feel his cock pulsating with desire in your hand, so hard and so veiny, hot all over. The harder it gets, the harder you resist yourself, you take a position and angle his cock into your entrance, wetting the tip by rubbing it down your slit.

Slowly, you ease yourself down his length as a long, breathless moan falls out of your mouth, "Oh..."

You bite your lower lip, feeling overwhelmed by how good it feels to have him inside you and fill you perfectly. You whine as he is fully sheathed in your warm, velvety walls.

Seungmin grips your waist with nails that dig into the flesh. You throw all of your hair to one side and enjoy watching him struggling to calm himself down.

"Do I feel good?" You ask him.

He sucks air through his gritted teeth and closes his eyes for a moment to finally answer, "So fucking good."

Hearing that, you feel confident to continue and you start rolling your hips, back and forth, fucking him like he dreamed every night. Not enough from just watching you fucking him, Seungmin sits up so he can kiss you, putting his hands around you with his head buried between your breasts.

"Even better than my dreams," he says against your lips.

You smile and return his kisses with the same eagerness, feeling his cock engorged inside you as you clench around him. Finding yourself lost in the pleasure as well, you put your hands around his neck as support and change the pace, bouncing on his lap as everything intensifies.

Seungmin takes your breast into his mouth and sucks on it hard, making you tug at his hair at how painful yet delightful that is. He then uses his tongue to play with your nipple before letting it go, leaving your breast wet with his saliva. He looks up at you as his hands grip each side of your waist, "You keep clenching around me."

You cup his jaw and ask, "You want me to stop?"

He shakes his head, "No."

The room is quiet except for the sound of bodies and lips crashing against each other, breathless moans, and the rustles of the bedsheets that hardly cover the bed anymore. With his hand gripping the nape of your neck, he forces you to keep looking at him as you both are closing into your highs.

Your high-pitched moans clash with his low grunts the moment both of you reach your climax together. You collapse onto his shoulder while he holds you close with his arms tightly wrapped around you.

A few kisses later, he gently lays you down on the bed and slowly pulls out of you, his eyes widening seeing his cum dripping out of you. It surprises him how much he cum inside you yet he pushes his cock inside you again before laying down next to you. He kisses your lips and nestles his head in the crook of your neck.

"I feel weird now," you say.

"Why?"

"We had sex with me watching us," you say, pointing at the video playing on the walls.

"I think it's sexy," he disagrees, then kisses your lips.

He props a hand against the mattress to support his head and tenderly caresses your cheek with his knuckle, "Want to know something?"

"Yeah?"

He gives you a soft peck on your lips first before speaking, "I think that we are indeed fated to meet again."

You put your hand on his chest and thinking that it would help you tell if he's being honest, "You think so?"

His eyes filled with nothing but admiration and sincerity, softly staring into yours and making you vulnerable under him, "I think you're the one for me."

Is it a sign that he's ready to commit to you? That you'll be the one and only girl in his life? Or should you hold your breath longer?

"I like you so much," he confesses, then rests his head on your chest.

Nevertheless, you don't want to think about what's coming next. You want to focus on this euphoric feeling of hearing those words coming out of his mouth. With that, you set yourself free and float onto cloud nine.

No one knows what time is it because all you can see are videos of you playing on a loop on the walls. You turn to the side and see Seungmin's eyes are open for you don't know how long. He could've watched you sleeping for hours for all you know.

"What time is it?" You croak.

He kisses your shoulder and puts his hand across your chest, "To be honest, I don't know," he replies.

You sleepily chuckle and put your hand on his forearm, "Coffee?"

"Okay," he takes your request, then rolls over to hover above you, "I'll make coffee after a kiss."

A kiss turns into two then three kisses and the fourth kiss escalates things further. The next thing you know, you're fisting the sheet and being a moaning mess underneath him.

Despite the sex revives both of you more than caffeine does, Seungmin just can't start his day without making coffee. The smell is wafting around the room while you're observing his camera collection and pick up one he's lending you.

It's been a while since you haven't taken his pictures and it's just the perfect scene, he's putting on his serious face with his mouth slightly curled into an adorable pout. He glances in your direction at the sound of the camera shutters. You ignore his glare by taking more pictures of him dressed in a white t-shirt with his fluffy bedhead.

"Oh?!" You stop to check why it won't take another picture, slightly fearing that you might have accidentally broken his camera.

He takes it from you to look for the issue, "You run out of films," he simply points out.

Seungmin pours you a cup of coffee first before handling the camera, pulling open the drawer to get a tube for the film.

Before the smell of coffee makes you forget about what you planned to ask him, you look at him and ask, "My Professor is inviting me to his gathering next Saturday and I'm thinking of taking you as my plus one."

Seungmin carefully opens the back of the camera to extract the roll of film, "When is it again?"

"Next Saturday."

He unlocks his phone to check his calendar, "Sorry, I have an appointment that day," he says.

It's not like you expected him to agree to socialize with your Professor. Just a tad disappointed but you understand that he's busy.

"That's okay," you assure him with a smile.

He puts down his phone next to his cup of coffee and takes the tube of films with him, "I'll put this to develop later."

His phone still lights up when he leaves for the studio and you don't mean to be nosy, but it's sitting there so you drag it close enough to see his schedule.

Kayla. 8 pm. Hotel Seville. That's what is written on his schedule for next Saturday. Before he notices that you're snooping in, you lock the phone and put it back next to his coffee cup. He returns to the kitchen, placing a kiss on your cheek as he walks past you before sitting on his stool.

"That looks good on you," he says, eyeing the shirt you're wearing which is the same one he wore last night.

"Yeah, it's comfortable," you reply with a smile.

"You can have it."

"I was planning to steal it anyway," you jokingly say.

Maybe you were over your head to think that what he said is a sign or maybe it is a sign for you to take a deep, deep breath and prepare yourself to hold it in longer this time.

The silence lets you dive further into your head and bathe yourself into your thoughts. Deeper and deeper, you're slowly drowning yourself in it until someone pulls you out of the water, taking you back to the real world that is just as harsh and as cold.

"I know I'll find you here," Minho says.

You thinly smile at him and shut the book you're hardly reading, "What's up?"

Minho puts his backpack down on the floor and joins you to sit at the other end of the window sill, it's your favorite spot in the library, "Did you fail another test or do you always look this terrible?"

If your head wasn't so centered around Seungmin, you would have come with a funny retort. You can only scoff and act like it doesn't bother you, to be honest, the only thing that bothers you is Seungmin.

"So, who are you going to take tomorrow?" You ask to shift the topic and your mind altogether.

The gathering is tomorrow which reminds you of the preparation that is still at zero. You haven't found a dress to wear and worse is no one to go with.

Minho fixes the collar of his coat as he says, "I don't think anyone wants to go with me."

That's a lie. The truth is a lot of girls are dying to ask him out and one of them would be more than glad to go with him if they weren't intimidated by his indifferent attitude, his smart mouth that only speaks harsh truth, and a brain that matches the size of his ego. The safe bet is Minho thinks that no girl is worthy enough to go with him.

"How about you?" He asks back.

"I'm taking myself," you answer with a dry laugh.

Minho sharply inhales air through his teeth and shoves his hands into his coat pockets, "Why don't we go together?"

Does it mean you're worthy enough for him? And why does that make you feel somehow... flattered? You look at him in suspicion, trying to guess what he is actually thinking when he asks you that. You eventually give up reading his inscrutable expression.

"But why?"

"Why not?" He asks back instead of answering.

You awkwardly laugh as you put your books back into your bag. There are no written rules where you can't take another guest as your plus one and he's right, why not?

"Yeah, sure," you take on his offer, "I'll meet you there."

It's not like Seungmin is going to mind you're going with Minho.

With Rina's help, you found a black dress with an appropriate length to wear to the gathering. She also lends her dainty earrings and high heels to match with it. You hold on to your coat as the cold slowly seeps into you as you walk on the pavement leading to Professor Lim's house.

From afar, you can see that his house lights up brighter than the other house, and cars are parked along his side of the street. You're fifteen minutes early from the appointed time but intellectuals always come early if not punctual. You pick up the speed of your walking when you see Minho standing outside.

"Why are you here?" You ask.

"I'm invited."

You snort hearing his answer, "I mean, why you’re not inside?"

"I'm waiting for you," he answers, a curl of steam escaping his mouth, and tells you he must have been waiting long outside.

"It's cold. You can wait for me inside!" You scold, taking him by the elbow to climb the steps and knock on the door.

Not long after, someone opens the door and greets you, "Hello, I'm Kevin, I'm Professor Lim's husband."

His marital status shocks you more than knowing about his sexual preference and you take his hand for a handshake, "Nice to meet you!"

Minho takes his turn to shake his hand and Kevin is surprised by his cold hands, "It's cold outside. Come in! Come in!"

After taking off his coat, Minho helps you take off yours and does it carefully so as not to ruin your hair which Rina spent almost an hour to style.

"Thank you," you mutter as you turn around.

He freezes for a moment just looking at you before he can say something, "You look nice!"

You're not used to gentleman Minho who knows how to treat a girl. You look at him to give you an idea of what you should compliment on him.

"And you look... not bad," you praise.

Honestly, Minho looks dashing tonight. He wears a black suit and a crisp white shirt, the suit jacket perfectly suits him, showcasing the broadness of his shoulders and the dark slacks enhance the length of his legs.

It's a polite thing to do to greet the host of the gathering and thank him for the invitation. Professor Lim looks more lively tonight than he looks when he's in his class.

"Please write down your answer for the quiz tonight," He says.

Every guest has to write down their answer to the same question. You and Minho take a card each to write your answer and read the question above already written on it.

"The person you would most like to have dinner with real or imagined, living or dead is..."

You know the exact answer that would please Professor Lim since he talks a lot about his favorite writer.

"George Sand," you and Minho say in unison and break into laughter together.

You check everyone else's answer on the big crystal bowl and see that a few of them have written the same answer, it's either George Sand or her full real name just for added impression.

You decide to skip on writing your answer, "I'm going to get a drink."

Minho also ditches his card and follows you, finding the waiter who carries a tray of drinks around the room. He grabs two champagne flutes and hands one to you.

"I always wanted to see his book collection," you tell Minho.

He confoundedly shifts his eyes to the big shelf full of books behind you, "And those are not books?"

You take a small sip of your wine, "He has a study room upstairs and it's off-limit to guests," you lowly whisper.

Minho looks around and spots that the host is busy talking to a group of people and his husband is walking around making sure everyone is enjoying the food.

"Well... it's not exactly off-limits," he says, taking you by the hand and sneaking up the stairs as everyone else is busy socializing.

Professor Lim's study room is located on the third floor, it is supposed to be the attic but he turns it into a big study room and you guessed it correctly, that's where he keeps his dear books. Without turning on the lights, you use the flashlight on your phone to scan the titles of the books, they're well-preserved first editions.

"Oh!" Minho suddenly gasps from the other side of the room.

You turn around and find him cradling a bottle of brandy, it's half full and looks very expensive.

"Let's have a party on our own," he says with mischief written all over his face.

You usually steer yourself away from problems but you really don't want to go back downstairs and try to socialize, talking about intellectual stuff. You just want to dull your mind with alcohol. Minho pushes the window and takes the drink with him, leaving you with no choice but to follow him, hanging out by the roof of your Professor's house.

"Why are we drinking on the roof? It's cold and high, it's a disaster waiting to happen," you tell him.

He holds his hand out at you, "I brought the blanket from his chair," he says, showing you the plaid quilt blanket.

You sit next to him and resist looking down, "And about the height?"

He wraps you with the blanket, then puts his arm around you, "I'll keep you safe."

"Ugh!" You groan in disgust and shrug his hand away from your shoulder.

He laughs and uncaps the bottle of brandy, from the smell of it you can tell the alcohol percentage in it. He takes the first sip, then winces at the bitter aftertaste.

"We share the bottle?" You ask as you take the bottle from him.

"We can't use the glass and leave evidence, right?"

You sigh and reluctantly take a small sip of it, aware of how much alcohol it contains. You hurriedly hand it back to him.

"Let's be honest..." you say.

"Okay."

"What's your real answer?"

"Answer to what?"

"Professor Lim's quiz," you answer.

Minho takes a longer sip this time and prepares himself for the aftertaste, gasping once he swallows it down. He takes another moment to think of an answer.

"Tolstoy," he answers.

As expected, his answer would be one of the Russian writers. You take your turn to drink and hand it back to him quickly.

"You?"

"Since we're being honest, I'd say... Howl Pendragon," you say with a smile.

Minho gives you a judgemental look and sips the brandy without any expression whatsoever.

"We can have dinner on his moving castle and if I'm lucky, I get to meet Calcifer too," you defend your answer.

"Whatever," he comments, followed by a thick cloud of steam.

You decide to share the blanket with him, scooting closer to him and covering his back with it. You cling to the sleeve of his suit jacket and smile, "I have to hold on to something so I won't fall."

Now that the silence resides between you and him, you can see the view from the roof, mostly the university complex and the clock tower in the middle.

"If we were being honest..." Minho says, "My answer would be you."

You look at him and in this proximity, you can smell his alcohol-tinted breath, "You're drunk already."

"No... not really," he vaguely answers, then shrugs.

"Well, you can simply ask me to dinner," you tell him, "It's not like we never had dinner together before."

He gazes into your eyes and asks, "Then what about your boyfriend?"

"My boyfriend is... not really my boyfriend," you cryptically say.

"What does that mean?" He narrows his eyes at you.

You blame the alcohol for loosening you up and let your words unfiltered, "We're in an open relationship."

"So...?"

"So, he's seeing another girl as we speak," you continue.

"That's—"

"We'd better get back," you quickly end the conversation before he can dig more personal things out of you.

Drunk you is dangerous but drunk Minho is way more dangerous. You take the bottle of brandy from him, it's wise for the two of you to stop drinking. You cap the bottle and get up first, helping him walk back into the study room, then put the bottle back where it belongs.

Safely make it back downstairs undetected, you look at Minho and he looks fine, it looks as if he didn't drink a drop of alcohol.

"I need to eat something to soak the alcohol with," he excuses himself to leave your side.

Okay, maybe he is drunk yet you regret telling him about Seungmin and the open relationship thing.

In the middle of Professor Lim's reading the answer to his quiz, you decide to leave early and thank Kevin on the way out. As you collect your coat by yourself, Minho appears from behind you, taking his coat that hangs next to yours.

"Let me drive you home," he sounds as demanding as usual.

You chuckle at him, "On your bicycle?"

"No, I'm taking a car tonight," he says.

Minho isn't joking, he's driving a car tonight and you're sitting on the passenger's side, looking at his hands holding the steering wheel. This time, you conclude that it's not about how hard he grips the steering wheel, Minho simply has veiny arms and you remind yourself to look away before it gets creepy.

"The crab cakes helped you sober up, huh?" You joke.

"I stole a few slices of bread from Professor Lim's kitchen actually," he jokes back.

"Bread absorbs alcohol faster, noted."

The ride shouldn't last this long but at the same time, you don't want it to end. In this space and silence you're sharing with Minho, you feel inexplicably comfortable and safe.

"Do you have plans for winter break?" He asks.

"No."

"You're not going to your parents for holidays?" He glances at you for a second before looking straight ahead at the road.

"They're going out of the country to celebrate it with my sister and their in-law," you answer.

Minho doesn't respond but steadily taps the steering wheel with his fingers.

"What about you?"

He drops one hand and rests it on his thigh, "My parents live not too far away from the city so... you'll see me around."

"Oh, how lovely!" You meant to make it a snide comment, but you say it in a sweet tone.

Your apartment comes to sight and Minho slows the car down before pulling to the side of the street and stops the car altogether.

You unclasp the safety belt and hold your purse close to your chest, "Thank you for the lift home!"

Minho turns off the car engine, then turns his head to the side, "No problem."

Weirdly, you don't feel like getting out of the car, it's warm and quiet in here, and you're not ready to step out into the cold yet.

"Thank you for being my plus one," you add.

"Likewise," he says back.

Your cheeks are heating and you're blaming the car heater for it, not because Minho can't stop staring at you.

"I.. uh-" you lost your train of thought and quickly recover yourself, "I'll see you around."

You're about to push the car door open when he suddenly grabs your elbow. You put your hand away from the handle of the door and turn to face, "Yes?"

"Can I..." His words trail off and he swallows air instead of continuing his sentence.

You chuckle seeing him so confused and flustered all at once, "Are you still drunk?"

Minho lets out a chuckle, "Maybe."

"Want me to drive you home then?"

"Yeah," he playfully answers.

"To be honest, I am slightly drunk to drive a car," you answer, half-laughing.

In the space filled with both of your waves of laughter, your eyes meet and he's leaning in, closer and closer until his lips land on yours.

Minho glides his soft lips on yours, warm and wet, hot breath filling your mouth as you let him taste you more. His hand holds the side of your face with his thumb tenderly caressing your cheek. The kiss is everything you expect to feel when you kiss someone you like. Your heart is fluttering, you feel a tingle inside you and your chest is overflowed with warm feelings.

However, the kiss makes you realize something.

You pull away until Minho's hand slips away from your cheek.

"Goodnight, Minho," you sadly say.

Without looking at him, you step out of his car and into the cold that seeps into your bones, freezes your heart, and makes you numb.

Seungmin rarely calls you twice in an hour when he usually calls you at certain times just to keep you on your toes. You've been thinking out loud by the time you reel yourself back to reality, you notice you have two missed calls on your phone. You hit call back and he picks up right away on the second ring, that's also a rare occurrence.

"Hey, sorry, I was in the bathroom," you lie because it's easier.

You hear him sigh, then say, "I miss you."

That's another rare occurrence. He usually says those words after you say them first to him.

"Miss you too," you hate to admit but it's true.

"You sound unwell. Are you okay?" Seungmin asks with a concerned voice.

Even through your voice, he can sense something is going on with you. You lick your lips and lie again, "It's the cold weather."

He lowly gasps then says, "You better dressed warmly. I don't want you to get sick."

"Okay," you immediately comply but you can't find it in you to engage in a long conversation with him, "so, why did you call me?"

"I can't call my girlfriend because I miss her?" He sweetly says.

Seungmin knows how to make you weak on the knees and you hate that you always fall for his sweet words.

"So that's it? You miss me?" You play along with him.

He laughs and you also hate how your heart rattles at the sound of his crisp laugh, "I'm taking you to dinner tomorrow."

"Just the two of us?" You naively ask.

"No," he answers, "A director of a gallery invited me to their dinner party."

"Oh. How nice!" You hope he can't hear the fake enthusiasm in your voice.

"Also, I have something to tell you," he says.

"You can't tell me now?" You're not in the mood to play along anymore.

"I have to tell you in person," he replies.

"Okay," you get used to setting your expectations low for him and you keep it that way.

"It's something good," he assures you.

"I hope so," you reply.

He thinks you're being playful and chuckles at it, "I'll pick you up tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Stay warm and take care."

"Better be something I haven't seen before as well," you give in to the temptation of teasing him.

"Okay," he playfully copies you.

The next day, you start dressing for the dinner party, wearing a dress you borrowed from Rina while she's busy packing to go home for winter break.

"Want me to help you with your hair?" She offers.

"No, I can't make you miss your flight," you kindly refuse.

You don't put too much makeup on and brush your hair, securing it with bobby pins to keep it neat.

"My taxi is here!" Rina announces.

You run out of your room to bid her bye, "Sorry I can't help you with your suitcases!"

She hugs you but not too tight to not wrinkle the dress, "It's okay. I'll just roll them down the stairs."

You're watching from the window as she waves at you before getting into the taxi. You get back to getting ready, putting your stuff into your purse and Seungmin rings the doorbell right on time.

"Whoa!" He exclaims the second he sees you.

"Come in. I just need to put my shoes on," you inform.

"Wait, wait," he stops you from walking away and pulls you close, leaning in to kiss you.

With your hand on his chest, you gently push him away and say, "We're going to be late."

He ignores your words and kisses you, forcing you to lower your guard down to let himself in again. His kiss heals but also breaks, nothing in between.

"God, I miss you so much," he sighs as he pulls away from the kiss.

You smile at his words and drop your hands to the side, "I still have to get my shoes."

Relentless, he pecks your lips before letting you go. You get a pair of Rina's black heels to match your dress and put them on with one hand against the wall.

"Where's your roommate?" Seungmin asks.

"She's going home for the winter break," you answer and go to your bedroom to retrieve your purse.

"So, you'll be alone in here?"

"Why? Does it give you ideas?" You tease.

"A lot of ideas," he shortly replies and does not hesitate to kiss you again.

The make-out session you had on your couch is what caused you both to be late for the dinner party. You fix your make-up on the car ride and thankfully, they're in the middle of an appetizer when you arrive.

Seungmin introduces you to the one who invited him, "This is Kayla, the director of Rostam Gallery."

"Oh?" You exclaim a little too excitedly. This is the Kayla he met that night Seungmin was supposed to come with you to Professor Lim's gathering.

"It's nice to meet you and thank you for letting me join in," you tell her as you shake her hand.

"The more the merrier," she says, then leads you to the dining room where the other guests have seated around the big round table.

Seungmin gentlemanly pulls the chair for you and takes the seat next to you after, the waiters immediately serve appetizers for both of you even though everyone else is almost finished with theirs.

The lady sitting next to you keeps making remarks about the china and you eventually find out that she's a ceramic artist. You engage in a conversation with her while the rest of the guests are in a heated discussion about some post-modern art pieces.

Seungmin checks on you every once in a while to make sure you feel comfortable, he holds your hand under the table and smiles as he asks, "Okay?

You dab your mouth with a napkin and answer, "The food is delicious. Can't complain!"

The guy sitting next to him leaning forward on the table to take a good look at you, "Seungmin, are you keeping this beautiful lady away from me on purpose?" He says.

You politely smile at him and Seungmin leans back on his chair to introduce you to him, "This is Jim, a journalist."

Jim offers his hand for a handshake and you briefly shake it as you introduce yourself.

"She's my girlfriend," Seungmin adds at the end of the introduction.

Jim seems to be surprised hearing that and smiles at you, "You got yourself uh... a beautiful girlfriend, Seungmin!" He says in a mix of awe and shock.

Seungmin glances at you and smiles, "I know," he confidently responds.

The conversation at the table has changed into great works of Spanish artists and Seungmin is intently listening to everyone talking about it so passionately that he is not aware of his phone buzzing inside the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

You lean in close to let him know, "Seungmin, your phone is ringing."

He reaches inside to check his phone and decides to excuse himself to take the call. The waiter is done serving the dessert and you take your fork to start digging into the decadent-looking chocolate cake.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Jim says, leaning into Seungmin's seat.

You refrain from eating and put the fork down, "Sorry for what?"

"I didn't know that you're Seungmin's girlfriend," he answers.

It gives you the impression that Seungmin's way of dating is public knowledge. All these times, these people think that you're just one of Seungmin's "girl-friend" and not his actual girlfriend whom he's dating.

You manage to put on a smile and say, "That's alright."

"Oh, you must be happy about Seungmin," he shares without context.

"Pardon?"

"Oh, he hasn't told you about the exhibition he's going to hold abroad?"

You slightly shake your head, "No."

"When is the exhibition?" You hesitantly ask.

"Next month," Jim shortly answers.

That means Seungmin is going abroad for it and he doesn't tell you about it. It's embarrassing that he declares you as his girlfriend but you get to hear about him from someone else.

Seungmin returns to his seat at the right time but he seems to acknowledge the chat you had with him, "Jim, you're not trying to steal her from me, right?"

Jim snorts in response, "As if I had the chance against you!"

You return to your dessert and dig your fork at it, cutting a piece of it on the beautiful china. Before you take it into your mouth, you look around at the people sitting on the dining table and think that they're right, you're only his plus-one and nothing more.

As everyone getting too drunk from wine and the night is getting late, Seungmin decides that it's time to leave. You leave for the bathroom and come back to him talking to a girl who's sitting next to Jim. They look rather friendly and she kisses both of his cheeks before she goes back to the dining room.

Seungmin smiles when he notices you're coming his way, he has your coat and purse in his hand.

"Ready to go home?" He holds the coat and puts it on for you, fixing your hair afterward.

You grab the purse from him as you mutter your gratitude, "Yes."

The constant hum of the car heater is what you can hear on the whole car ride as you stare out the window with your head filled with so many thoughts you can't pick one and try to assess it.

Seungmin squeezes your hand and makes you turn your head at him, "You're so quiet."

You thinly smile and think of something to say, "Don't you say you have something you want to tell me?"

He quickly glances at you before looking straight ahead, "Yeah, but I'll tell you once we get home."

"Is it about the exhibition?" You don't mean to spoil it from him but you feel sick the longer you hold it to yourself.

He looks rather surprised that you know about it, "Yes and there's another thing," he says.

"That you will be leaving the country for it?"

He awkwardly smiles, "Yes, but—"

"How did you do it?" You cut him off.

"How did I do what?" He asks in confusion.

There's no going back once you let everything out of your chest but this is it, you're done trying to control your feelings when it's your right to feel angry about what he's doing to you.

You turn on your seat to face him and ask, "How did you kiss some other girls and not feel guilty about it?"

Seungmin decides to pull the car to the side of the road and stops the engine. He looks at you and asks again, "What is it? What is wrong?"

You're tired of swallowing things down and trying to understand when he doesn't even try to do the same for you, "I kissed another guy the other night," you confess.

"And I feel horrible... I feel so bad about it because it feels like I'm cheating on you," you croak with tears getting in between the words.

You shut your eyes tight for a moment to fight the tears from coming out of you but it's a fruitless effort, "What I'm asking is how did you do it? Kissing other girls and not feeling like you betrayed me?"

Seungmin's mouth is agape but no words coming out of it. There's only a sigh and eyes that stare back into your glassy eyes.

"How did you do it?" You raise your voice that it's echoing in the small space of his car. Even with your eyes blurry with tears, you can see that he has no answer to your question.

"You don't even seem to be mad about me kissing another guy."

Tears won't stop coming down your face and you feel a lump blocking you from talking.

You take a deep breath but all it does is make you feel aches inside, "Am I really your girlfriend? Do I mean something to you?"

For the first time in your life, you don't want to know the answer. You unclasp your safety belt, grab your purse, and get out of the car. The cold slaps you in the face with the harsh cold air and you hurriedly hailing your hand to get a taxi, wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

From your peripheral vision, you see Seungmin getting out of the car and is about to walk up to you when a taxi stops right in front of you. You immediately get yourself inside and tell the driver to drive, leaving a trail of pieces of broken your heart as you go.

You find yourself in front of Minho's apartment an hour later.

It's unclear why you decided to come here but deep down, you know why. It's been days since you both kissed and you haven't said anything to him about it.

Minho probably thinks you hate him or that the kiss was a wrong move on his part when the truth is... the kiss is what you needed to take you back into reality. You knock on his door and wait in anticipation, afraid that he's already leaving for the holidays. After a while, you hear footsteps and someone unlocks the door.

Minho opens the door just enough to show himself and he looks surprised to see you. You're not aware of how miserable you must have looked with your ruined makeup and red, puffy eyes.

"The kiss was right," you tell him before losing yourself in the sadness again.

He opens the door wider to let you in, "Hey, why don't you come—"

"The kiss was nice, the kiss was everything I hoped for and I realize that I do like you, Minho," you admit with a voice that quivers from the cold.

You lick your lips and look at him, "But I also hate it. The kiss... the kiss made me realize that I... I deserve better."

The lump in your throat appears again and it turns into a hot coal as you resist letting yourself cry again.

"That I deserve someone who treats me right, special... someone who doesn't make me feel insecure all the time, someone better, someone..."

Fresh tears roll down your cheeks again and it feels hot on your cheeks after walking a block in the cold.

"Someone like you," you finish your sentence.

You look at him against the hot tears that can't stop pooling in your eyes no matter how much you wipe them with the back of your hands, "But it feels like my heart is no longer a part of my body, I can't–I can't control it, Minho," you say in a frustrated tone.

You close your eyes because what you're about you say next is painful to admit, "I can't stop it. My heart wants him."

You break into sobs the moment Minho pulls you into his hug.

From hundreds of books you've read in your life, it's impossible to find the answers to this: If the heart is no longer part of your body then how can you still feel it aches inside your chest?

Seungmin knows that one night is enough time and space he gave you. He knows that if he lets it on too long, he'll lose you and he doesn't want that.

He hits the speed limit as he rides his bike to go to your place and knock on your door only to be answered by disappointment. He calls your phone but you don't pick up, he tries knocking on the door only to get disappointed again.

As a last effort, he hits the call button again and leans against the door of your apartment. He turns around and sees someone he knows, he has seen him with you before.

"You're her friend, aren't you?" Seungmin confidently guesses.

Minho stops at the top of the stairs and stays there, "Yes."

"She's not home. Do you have any ideas where she might be?" Seungmin asks, taking a step closer to him.

Even in this proximity, Seungmin can tell that he knows the answer but he can't decide whether to tell him or not.

"I'm not sure," Minho answers and he turns around to walk down the stairs.

It seems that he decided to do the third option and that is lying about his answer. Seungmin follows him down the stairs and tries to get an answer from him.

"I know that you know," Seungmin says from behind him.

"You're her boyfriend. You should know," Minho nonchalantly says while keeps walking down the stairs with hands shoved inside his coat pockets.

Seungmin sighs to calm himself down but asking him kindly is not working, so he tries another way, "And I know you're the guy she kissed."

Minho lands on the base of the stairs, takes another step, and turns around on his feet, "So? What are you going to do about it?"

Seungmin hates this brazen, flippant attitude and if there's one good thing about it, he knows that he is just a passing fancy for you.

"Nothing," he simply answers Minho's question.

Seungmin walks the rest of the steps and stops right in front of him, "Because I know she likes me better than you!"

Minho tilts his head to meet his stare and laughs, he licks his lips before talking right into his face, "But I treat her better than you."

That gets on Seungmin's nerves that he grabs fistfuls of Minho's sweater and pulls him close, "You know nothing. Your words mean nothing to me. Just tell me where she is!"

Minho takes his hands and puts them away from him, "You don't deserve her. Why would I tell you where she is so you can break her heart again and again?" He raises his voice louder than him.

The first one, he let it go but this is his second strike and he makes the third strike when Minho decides to leave him behind. Seungmin just can't allow this anymore, he chases him outside and pulls him by his coat.

In the next second, it turns into a childish fight of pushing and shoving each other, making a scene that the passerby can't ignore anymore. Minho lets go first and takes a few steps back away from Seungmin.

"If you want to play around and date as many girls as you want, just let her go! You don't deserve her!" Minho shouts at him.

Seungmin is going at him but a stranger holding him back by his arms, "You know nothing!"

Minho yanks his arms away from the people who broke away from their fight and comes up at Seungmin, "I know everything! She went to my place last night and told me everything!"

Minho lowers his voice to not let people hear what he's saying, "You know what? She's right about everything. You didn't even mad about me kissing her."

Seungmin's heart drops that Minho indeed knows about everything. He feels it now, the betrayal. This is how you must've felt last night.

"And you're about to leave her too, right? You're going out of the country, running away from commitment like you always do," Minho says with a snide smile.

"Fuck you!" Seungmin curses out of anger, "I'm not running away from her."

People are coming to break the fight again but Seungmin tells them to stay back. He calms himself down by taking a deep breath and looks at Minho again, "I'm taking her with me and I was about to ask her if she wants to go with me when she suddenly admitted to kissing you!"

Minho looks away and lets out a snarky laugh, "You think a vacation will fix everything?"

"No," Seungmin answers while daringly looking into his eyes, "but I planned on telling her that I'm ready to commit to her."

The smirk on Minho's face gradually fades and his jaws clenched, probably holding in the urge to go at him. But he knows he has no right to prevent him from seeing you.

Minho goes for his bike parked next to the bench and Seungmin hopelessly follows him, "So, please, tell me where I can find her!"

Minho unlocks his bike and walks it to the side of the road, he turns to look at him and considers whether to tell him or not.

It's like someone has punctured your lungs, no matter how much you breathe, you keep losing air. If anything, you find it hard to breathe.

You look down at the ducks swimming on the pond, munching on the pieces of bread you throw onto the pond and it's floating on the surface of water.

You feel jealous at how easy things are for them, they only have to follow the natural law of finding their mates and procreate. No rules, no games, no tricks, no complications, no heartache. It's as simple as that.

You throw the plastic bag into the trash bin and think of taking a walk around the park before heading back home. It's cold for a walk but it's better than wallowing things in your room, all alone.

White steam escapes your mouth as you let out a sigh and rub your hands together to keep them warm when you feel a hand grab you by the shoulder.

You look over your shoulder and see the last person you want to see, Seungmin.

"Why are you out in this cold?" He asks, taking his gloves off so he can put them on you.

You take your hands away and sadly tell him "It's too late for that, Seungmin."

He ignores your words and slips his glove into your hand, "I'll always care for you."

"And for other girls too, apparently," you add.

Seungmin holds your gloved hands in his and waits until you look him in the eyes before speaking, it takes a minute until you eventually trapped yourself in his gaze.

"You didn't let me talk last night," he says.

"That won't change a thing. I'll never understand you, what you want..." you tell him.

This time, you put on a tough face and even tougher heart, you have cried enough for him. You refuse to cry again for him.

"I'm not a stop along the way, Seungmin. I'm a destination. I want you for me and me only but if you want to keep going and see where it takes you, then I beg you to please let me go," you rest your case with a steadfast heart.

"You either stay or leave and I'm afraid this is your only chance to decide," you give him the ultimatum and turn the table back to him.

It feels lighter now that you have let everything out of you and both decisions would cost you pain but it's worth knowing the answer to this.

"Can I talk now?" Seungmin asks and you must admit that he puts on a different kind of serious expression than the one he makes whenever he's making coffee.

It's only fair that you listen to what he needs to say, so you nod and let him talk.

"Last night, I was going to tell you about the exhibition and that I'll be leaving soon to prepare it," he begins.

He fiercely looks into your eyes as he steadily holds your hands, "then you left before I got the chance to say about the things I really wanted to tell you."

You swallow air and feel a pang of guilt inside you. You did act selfishly last night, you can see it now after he pointed it out to you.

Seungmin takes something from the inner pocket of his leather jacket, flight tickets, two of them. He shows it to you and smiles, "I was about to ask you if you want to go with me."

He inhales air before continuing to talk, "I'll be working most of the time but I think of us spending Christmas and New Year together..." he pauses to sniff from the cold air, "And I can't think of spending it with anyone else but you."

He pits the tickets back into his leather jacket pocket and shifts his focus back on you again, "I know you must have been so confused with this open relationship thing but if you give me more time, I know I'll be more certain with my feelings."

He squeezes your hands to emphasize how much he means his words, "Give me one more chance to prove it to you, to show you that I want to stay."

It's so hard with his eyes softly gazing into your eyes and they're warm and earnest, he's so open and honest with you. But you can't find the answer in him, you have to look into your heart and ask it if it's still what it wants.

There's only one way to find out.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes, with pleasure," Seungmin replies with an enthusiastic smile.

You take a step closer and close the gap of your bodies. You lean in and kiss him, letting yourself immerse in it to get what you want.

This time, the kiss will neither heal nor break you. This time, the kiss will tell you the answer.

The last time Minho saw you, you were putting in your suitcase into the trunk of a taxi and that was when he told himself that it was time to wave the white flag.

Frankly, he admitted defeat when he told Seungmin where to find you, that you must be feeding the ducks by the pond and it seemed to be leading you to agree on going away with Seungmin for the holidays.

It's what your heart wants and Minho only helped you get it.

There's a week left in winter break but snow has just started piling on the pavement he walks on. Minho wraps himself in layers of clothes and shields himself from the cold by hugging himself while listening to the crunch of the snow as he steps on it.

The plan is to return some books he borrowed over the holidays and let the librarian lady take care of them as he browses for more books to borrow.

Something tells him that he needs to check somewhere where he knows that he'll only meet disappointment. Yet he follows his heart and lets it take him to where you usually would be.

Minho almost laughs because of how vivid the imagery is. He sees you there, sitting on the big window sill with your feet pulled up and your breath fogging the glass.

Wait... does Minho see what he wants to see or is it real? Either way, he thinks his eyes are playing tricks on him so he refuses to believe, turning around on his heels.

The sound of your voice calling his name shatters his doubts, "Minho?"

It takes him a moment to get himself together and turns around to answer your call, "Yes?"

Now that he sees your smile and it's aimed toward him, he no longer thinks his eyes are playing tricks. It is what it is, it's you, right there and he's walking towards that smile.

"I thought you're still on holiday," You say and hold your book close to your chest with your hand covering the front of the book, he can't see the title.

It should be him asking that question. Shouldn't you be in another country and spend the rest of the winter break with your boyfriend?

"You know me. I like seeing books more than seeing my family," he half-heartedly says with a sheepish smile.

"Roasting yourself, huh? That's new," you say with a low laugh.

The view outside the window of tree branches covered in the show makes a picturesque background as you put your feet down the window sill but all he sees is you.

"I haven't had breakfast," you suddenly share.

"Why not?" He asks back.

"I have nothing in my fridge so I only had coffee," you answer while looking up with eyes that shine for him, "Do you have anything in your fridge I can eat?"

It takes no genius that you're asking him to cook breakfast for you but it would be stupid of him to pass the chance.

"No," Minho answers, then hoists the strap of his bag higher on his shoulder, "But I can cook them for you."

It's almost noon to be considered a breakfast so Minho cooks lunch for two while you're playing with his cats on the carpeted floor.

"I'm fun when I'm sober, right?" You coo at the eldest of his three cats, softly scratching her belly with your fingers.

He silently watches from the kitchen as he prepares the table smiling without him realizing it. He snaps himself out of it and announces, "Lunch is ready!"

You get up from the floor and dash to the sink to wash your hands, pulling a chair from the dining table and sitting on it. You take a whiff of the steaming bowl of soup Minho cooked and hum in delight, "Whoa. Smells so good!"

Minho sits on his chair after getting a pitcher of water to the table and he sees that you're waiting for him to start eating, "Aren't you hungry?"

"Thank you for the food!" You say in gratitude and with that being said, you pick up your spoon to start eating.

Maybe it's the cold weather, maybe it's the hot soup that he's eating, but Minho feels warm, inside and out. He believes it's mostly because he's enjoying the company he's with who's heartily eating the food he cooked.

"I ate too much pie and cookies at Rina's," you share out of the blue.

"Rina's?" He asks with a puzzled look on his face.

You nod and put down your spoon to drink your water, "Where did you think I spent the holidays?"

That gets him thinking for a moment. What answer should he give you? An honest one where he thought you went away with your boyfriend and possibly admits that he got a little heartbroken about it or play it cool like he usually does?

"I saw you leaving with your suitcase so I thought..." he skips on finishing his sentence.

"Ah..." you take another sip of your water and put the glass down.

"Well, that was me going to the airport to crash Rina's family's Christmas," you sheepishly answer.

Minho doesn't know how to say it without getting his hopes up yet he dares himself to ask, "You didn't go with him?"

Your eyes are nowhere looking at him but he sees a sad, profound smile on your face, then you shake your head, "He may be what my heart wants but he's not what I need."

In that moment, something is filling his chest, something warm, something that makes him feel like he can finally breathe again. Minho is hopeful once again.

"For the record, I offered to help with the dishes," you tell him, placing a mug of coffee you made for him on the kitchen counter.

Minho dries his hands with a cloth before leaning against the kitchen counter next to you and sipping his coffee, watching his cat lying under the hazy sunlight coming through the window.

He steals glances at you and hesitates to ask how you're feeling about your unexpected decision, "How are you doing?"

You inhale the air before answering, "I'm doing better than I expected actually."

Minho doesn't even think about how things will be going from here but hearing that you're doing fine puts him at ease. He has so many things to say but it's wise for him to not rush things, he's certain that you still need time.

You turn your head to look at him and say, "I've just finished reading something this week and it surprised me how much I enjoyed it."

You have one hand on your chest while the other holding your coffee mug, "It's a play and there's this line that deeply resonates with me."

The way you stare into his eyes enchants him to stare back into yours, there's a space between your bodies but looking eyes to eyes like this makes him feel closer to you in a sense.

"It says... 'If ever my life can be of any use to you, come and claim it.'."

Minho recognizes the lines right away. It's from one of his favorite writers. He gets flustered and smiles, "You read Russian literature now, huh?"

"Yeah, guess I'll be as boring as you now," You softly laugh and put down your mug on the counter next to him.

"I think it's my time to leave," you put your hands on the edge of the counter and accidentally nudged him.

Minho doesn't want to let you go again so he holds you by the fingers and looks into your eyes. His mouth gets ahead of his brain when he blurts out, "Stay."

He holds more of your hand in his and brings himself closer to you. With eyes that look deeper into your eyes and a heart that knows what it wants, Minho says, "I want you to stay."

He sees the doubt and fears in your eyes, he would understand if you chose to leave, and for once in his life, it's okay for him to lose to you.

To his surprise, you hold his hand back and say, "Well, why don't you come and claim it?"

If Minho knew that all he had to do was to come and claim it, he would have done it sooner. But right now is not too late so he closes the gap between your bodies and puts his hand on the side of your face.

With such love, he cups your cheek and swipes his thumb across your lips which he dreamed of kissing a million times, asleep or awake. This is not a dream yet you still feel like one.

The moment your lips meet again, it thaws his heart and his worried mind. He pulls you close and puts his heart closer to yours, two hearts beating as one with mere flesh and bones in between.

You are of words that create a poem and the sentiment it has between the lines, you are the allusion in his written life in which Minho has now come and claimed.

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