#insurance slightly better. than i was prepared for

[fooltofancy]

finally able to afford sensors so back to being slightly less analog than standard.

#i mean the insulin pump is already a lil fucky in the basic human anatomy department HOWEVER #mine is very very basic and requires direct interaction by the me to do anything #the sensor is just reading data in my blood and talking to things about it #spooky lil bastard man #beloved lil bastard man #ALSO like $30 less than i was expecting os #so #insurance slightly better. than i was prepared for #it fucking should be i'm paying so much for it but i'm also doing that in south dakota and south dakota thinks most humans should be dead #also hopefully on the road to getting back to an endocrinologist 'cause i felt like a dick going back without any data #now i can go back in like a month with an armful like look!!!!!! #... need to make an appointment

[jsluvtzu]

housewife

minatozaki sana x fem!reader

summary: she shows her appreciation in better ways

cw: SMUT! evil, vile, degrading smut, sana treats you like a 1950s husband would, cursing, slapping, just filthy, men dni

wc: 2.1k

a/n: sana in a suit sana in a suit sana in a suit

the aroma of the food you had been slaving on for hours dispersed through the whole house, filling the empty rooms and seeping into the thin walls.

since 7 am, you’ve been cleaning, tidying, mopping, wiping, and cleaning some more around every single corner of your shared home with sana.

you were what they called a “housewife”, but in sana’s eyes you were nothing more than a disappointment. a nuisance. a body that just does whatever is asked of her.

wiping your hands clean of any leftover sauce on your apron, you grabbed your phone from the counter to check the time.

- “5:48”

she should be home by now. sana worked a 9-5 at a corporate insurance company and usually came home around 5:30. you started preparing the dishes nonetheless and set the table with the proper silverware, one set of knives and a fork for her and one for you.

just when you finished plating the meal for her, you heard sana’s car pull into the driveway and her keys jingle against the lock of the door.

sana opened the door hastily and slammed it behind her, throwing her suitcase down and kicking her shoes off on the floor without a care where it landed.

you knew what this attitude meant. it happened at least once a week when her boss would overwhelm her with something and she would come home with a storm going on inside her head.

you hesitated to greet your wife and ultimately decided against it when she didn’t even look your way and just went straight to the living room, plopping down on the couch with a loud thud and letting out a heavy sigh.

sana took her suit jacket off and loosened her tie, turning on the tv and flipping through random channels to try and distract herself from whatever she had to deal with at work.

you brought over her plate to the couch, handing it to her. “hey honey, long day at work?”, your voice was gentle, but laced with a hint of worry.

sana paid you no mind, grabbing the plate from your hands and gluing her eyes back to the tv screen.

“get me something to drink.”, was the first thing sana said to you since she walked through the door.

you just smiled and went back to the kitchen to grab her a soda.

sana never ate dinner without taking a big sip of something first, so you knew better than to keep her waiting.

opening the can and handing it to her, you slightly blocked sana’s view of the tv and heard her tsks of annoyance. you quickly moved out of her way and went to go sit at the dinner table, the both of you eating alone, together.

that’s when you jumped at the sound of a plate slamming onto the hardwood floor. your eyes drawn to the scene of the crime, finding pasta and sauce splattered everywhere with pieces of ceramic mixed in.

“i’m not eating this shit. it’s disgusting.” sana said it in a monotone voice with no regards to how you might feel about it.

you slowly got up and walked over to sana, scanning the mess you had to clean up and avoiding stepping in shards of the now broken plate.

your face was contorted with both shock and anger, but you held in the last part with a clenched fist.

breathing out shakily, you mustered up enough strength to question sana’s childish behavior.

“why did you do that..” your eyes avoided hers and the grip on your apron grew tighter. sana was glaring at you through your peripheral.

“i come home from a long day at work and you expect me to eat that? i work hard just to be fed dog food?”, sana scoffed and leaned back into the couch, stretching her arms over the top of the couch and manspreading, shaking her head in disbelief.

“i spent at least three hours on that ‘dog food’, sana. it wouldn’t hurt to show a little respect.” your eyes had tears welling up at the edges, just restless to come out.

hearing that, sana’s eyes turned dark and her gaze was narrow. you fucked up. she tapped her finger rhythmically on the soft surface and nodded to herself, planning.

“you think i give a fuck? seriously, do you? i don’t owe you a single ounce of respect, whore. if i don’t like something, i’m not fucking eating it. now clean up your mess.” sana was fuming at this point. not only did she have a ruined dinner, she also had to deal with you talking back to her.

you grabbed the broom and dustpan from the closet and swept up what was left of her tantrum. you were so exhausted from cleaning all day, your body was spent. so tired to the point where you didn’t even notice you were wiping your own tears along with the sauce off the floor.

sana heard your sniffles and whimpers, peering over the arm of the couch and seeing your drained figure. she practically jumped off the couch with aggression and stopped in front of you, grabbing your face violently between her fingers and forcing you to look up at her.

your cries were cut short and you gasped at the sudden action.

“the fuck you crying for? can’t even do the one thing you’re made to do huh? all i ask is that you keep my house clean and have something fucking edible for me to eat when i get home. can’t even fucking do that?” at the end of her question, you felt the cold absence of her touch from your skin, only to feel a stinging heat when her hand lands on your face again, slapping you. the wedding ring she had on was sure to leave a bump. your eyes widened and the hand that you once had at your side went to caress your burning cheek.

“you’re so fucking pathetic.” another slap. this time you unknowingly let out a small moan at her strike, catching yourself and keeping your head down.

sana paused in shock, processing your response to her abuse.

“did you just fucking moan?” sana grabbed your chin between her pointer finger and thumb, lifting your face up to hers again.

“i slapped you.. and you fucking moaned? sana was genuinely curious, never hearing you react like that. her eyebrow was quirked with her lips slightly parted.

your eyes were glassy and bloodshot, your left cheek was marked red with her handprint and stained with your salty tears. to sana, you’d never looked better.

the darkness in sana’s eyes turned into lust in less than a millisecond. seeing you at her mercy and so helpless turned her thoughts into unspeakable ones.

sana looked you up and down once more before she grabbed your throat and lifted you off the ground, dragging you towards the counter by the stove with your back turned.

she stopped at the edge of the marble countertop and you winced at the bruising pain on your lower back.

sana trapped you between her arms at both sides, her hands flat against the cold marble surface. she shifted her leg between yours, pressing up against your core.

you were still recovering from the slaps you just received, mind blurry between wanting to be fucked and wanting to be comforted. but of course sana wouldn’t comfort you, the only way she expressed her “love” was by absolutely breaking you.

sana’s white undershirt was slightly unbuttoned and her collarbone was visible. her loose black tie and messy hair on top of that made every rational thought you had disappear. you didn’t even care about the disrespect she showed you earlier. if anything, you liked it.

“maybe i just needa fuck you until you learn how to cook properly hm?” sana snaked her hands around your back to untie your apron, sliding it over your head and onto the floor. her leg was still slotted between yours and you grinded on her ever so slightly, searching for relief.

“fuckin’ whore can’t think right unless she cums.” you whimpered at her words as sana crashed her lips onto yours, sucking and biting at them. the sounds that filled the room were sloppy and unsynchronized.

sana untied her tie completely with one hand and slid it off her neck without breaking the kiss. she wrapped it around the front of your throat and overlapped both ends at the back, tightening it and bringing it back towards her to hold you there. you moaned at the loss of circulation to your brain, the pressure in your head building up just enough to make your vision fuzzy.

you were wearing nothing except one of sana’s white oversized t-shirts and black lace panties underneath that apron. sana’s free hand slid under your shirt and up to grope your bare breast. the sensation of her cold touch against your warm body made you whine.

“mm- fuck, sana.” she rolled your erect nipple between her fingers and pinched it hard, eliciting pained moans from you.

sana observed you and saw your face losing color, immediately letting her grip on her tie go and pulling it off your throat with one smooth motion.

her hand trailed down to your hip, expecting to pull off a pair of shorts, but feeling the intricate pattern on your lace panties instead.

she ran her fingers over the material, humming in satisfaction. “you wearing these just for me?”

you nodded and pouted at her, whining. “all for you, sana, please..”

“please what? use your words, slut.”

“ ‘need you to fuck me so bad, please.” sana smirked at your desperation, hooking her finger onto your side and pulling your panties down, letting them slide down your legs.

your pussy was sticky from your arousal and throbbing from her teasing finger running through your slit.

sana teased your hole and went back up to your swollen clit, rubbing lazy circles around it and spreading your slick all over. you grinded yourself on her hand, silently urging her to give you more.

you glanced up at sana and saw her eyes fixated on your exposed core, watching the way her hand slid between your folds with ease and how the dim overhead light reflected perfectly off of your pussy, making you shine and glisten.

sana furrowed her eyebrows and held her bottom lip between her teeth, slowly sinking two fingers into you. she bottomed out at your cervix, pulling back out only to pick up her pace and slide inside you again. the erotic squelching sound from just how wet you were was disgustingly hot.

her groans were right in your ear, hearing her curse to herself about how tight you were. your eyes were stuck on sana’s flushed chest, her tendons popping out everytime she breathed. her breathing was heavy and uneven, and you could tell sana was losing herself in the trance that you put her in.

suddenly, sana stopped her movements and grabbed the back of your thighs, lifting you up and onto the counter. you hissed at the cold feeling against your bare skin.

sana pulled your shirt up, revealing your whole upper body to her.

she grabbed the front end of your shirt and held it up to your mouth, motioning for you to open and bite down on the cloth.

“keep it there, you understand?” you nodded, holding the shirt between your teeth and arching your back for sana to see exactly just how much you understood. she responded by tapping your thigh for you to open your legs wider, scooping her arms under your legs and sliding you forward to give her easier access.

sana’s eyes didn’t peel away from your chest for one second when she started fucking you again. her pace was inhumanly fast and yet she still managed to hit your sweet spot every time.

“oh my god, sana- fuck, don’t stop please, fuck” your moans were sporadic and words were mumbled, completely rid of any thought other than cumming right then and there.

“yeah? i’m fucking you so good right baby? don’t i deserve a good meal when i’m fucking you like this?” sana grabbed your face and squeezed your cheeks together, slapping you lightly a couple times.

you agreed with squeaked moans and squeezed your eyes shut, drawing out long yeses in between.

“yes, fuck- oh my god yes,” at that point you weren’t sure if you were answering her question or just begging for her to keep fucking you like that.

“ ‘fuck kinda whore doesn’t know how to cook for her wife? dumb fucking bitch. so useless.”

sana pushed her thumb against your clit and you felt the tightness in your core building up. moaning her name repeatedly, you threw your arms over her shoulders and pressed her face down against your bare chest, holding her there and cumming on her fingers with a loud groan.

you attempted to calm down your breathing and stabled yourself with your hands grabbing sana’s arms. she pulled her fingers out and shoved them between your lips, gagging you and swirling her fingers around your tongue.

“that’s what a good meal should taste like.”

#twice imagines #twice x reader #twice smut #kpop x reader #kpop gg #sana x reader #sana smut #minatozaki sana #i can’t stop writing for sana #that nayeon smut will be out later..

[valentinedaughtler]

Tainted Opal (Part 6)

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

T/Ws: violence, romantic feelings, blood, mild spice scenes sometimes, fem!reader and she/her pronouns, sexual abuse/trauma (not explicit)

Synopsis: Your boat has been docked in Fjerda and you forgot your coat…. (But Kaz has a coat…👀)

REQUESTS: OPEN✅

____________________________________________

6 - Kaz Brekker Always Had a Reason

The ship was docked on the west coast of Fjerda, frozen plains stretches over the horizon into a snowy oblivion. The ocean was deeply frigid, an innocent plunge would send you to a numbing death.

Everyone, except prepared Matthias, was painfully underdressed. Jesper reminded us all frequently through whiney griping. We teased him about it, saying his fancy hats would not even be able to warm him up. My social circle included all the Crows, but I lingered longer around Inej and Nina. We all seemed to feel a feminine connection to one another; an easy group to complain about the boys' nonsense to.

As Nina and I shivered, we huddled near one another, the long trek around the Fold just beginning. Matthias held Nina close, insuring that she would be warm, despite her heartrender abilities.

Eventually, Nina moved between the cold Crows, circulating their blood into a more rapid speed to keep their temperatures up. Thus, I was left with the massive Fjerdan man. I'd seduced many men, but only a few looked like they could snap me in half like a twig for a fire like he did.

"Do you miss Fjerda?" I asked with an inquisitive tilt of the head. Matthias's face contorted slightly, his jaw shifting and eyebrows stitching together. He stayed silent for a moment before sighing,

"I do miss my people in some ways, but sometimes you find a person who changes your values...," he replied with a thick accent. It was sharp and pronounced, I had a feeling if he yelled at you it would feel like a brick to the face. I nodded as he watched Nina. "Do you miss your life before Ketterdam swallowed it up?"

"No-...," I tried to articulate how I felt about my past, but I guess I wasn't too sure. "I miss the specifics, the small details. Though, when I think about the big picture, I don't miss any of it." I let out a shivered breath before speaking again, "I don't want to think back fondly on what my life had been, trying to write an edited version with only the good plot points. It's easier to not think about it at all, no story is better than a bad one, don't you think?" I craned my neck to look at Matthias's eyes, they looked harsh and painful, but maybe they were pained instead.

"I think you should just keep writing the story," he acknowledged my thought with a nod. "Maybe find new characters to add to it rather than making it a one-man narration." I laughed softly, an unexpected response from him.

"Nina seems to be a good influence on you," smirking at him with a knowing glint in my eye. He really loves her, I thought as I made my way to the heartrender herself. "Nina!" I waddled my way across the tundra to her and Kaz. She seemed a bit exasperated as the dark haired boy begrudgingly allowed her to use her small science on him.

"Y/n, can you tell him that I will not be stopping his heartbeat?" She huffed as Kaz squirmed away from her slightly.

"That's enough," he said, but I heard his teeth chatter a bit through that gravely voice. I laughed, asking Nina to warm me up instead. She excitedly obliged, leaving Kaz to sulk in peace.

She began to chuckle to herself as she contorted her soft fingers to work her 'majik'.

"What is it?" I inquired with growing curiosity. She turned to me with a suggestive smile and a wink.

"Kaz was watching you, earlier, when you were taking to Matthias." Her grin widened, showing her pearly, white teeth. My cheeks burned when the meaning behind her words clicked in my brain. She continued, "I may have called him out on such. He got real defense," she dragged out her words with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"He's always defensive. He's basically a human defense system; a wall." I said, attempting to use logic. He barely knew me, unless we had met somewhere before, Kaz wouldn't trust me this early on, I knew that much.

"Well, yes, but you did pay upfront, he doesn't really need you alive, so..." Nina batted her eyelashes at me, mimicking a lovestruck girl. I flushed as I looked back at Kaz, limping a few feet behind us, when he met my gaze I spun back around, tensing up. Nina leaned close to my ear, "you're blushing... and I can tell your heartbeat has fluctuated frequently when he is near you-"

"Okayy, thank you, my darling, Nina, but I should really be going-,"

"You should be discussing plans with me since we are getting closer to the main path," rasped Kaz from behind me. I stifled a startled scream. Geez, what's with me? I'm never actually flustered around people and I've... been in intimate situations during heists many a time. Nina flashed me a smile and a wink before leaving Kaz and I alone. I sighed with relief as I know her torment would be at bay, for now.

"When we get to the trail's end, we should find shelter for the night, there are abandoned cabins all over Fjerda. That's what my dad told me, atleast," my voice was still a bit shakey as I tried to slow my heart rate down. Kaz nodded.

"It's the safest gamble to set up camp at the first cabin we see that doesn't have occupants in it," his tone was somehow more formal than it generally was, his body seemed tense. Had he heard what Nina had said? I looked at the cheery woman far up ahead, her bubbly laugh echoing across the frozen wasteland we trekked.

I walked with Kaz in silence, maintaining a couple feet of distance between us, I wasn't sure why, but I felt that if I touched him that he might snap. Whether that indicated him imploding or killing me, I wasn't sure. But I respected his need for space. I felt like I yearned to be alone often, since intimate touch was an important part of my job. It often wasn't by people I wanted to touch me too. Maybe it bothered me because I was so young, but no one in Ketterdam stayed young. Instead of a slow climb to adulthood, it was a drowning process. Before, you were something, but after you plunged up for air, you weren't much anymore.

A gust of wind blew hair into my face and sent a shiver throughout my body, like hitting a metal drum and watching it vibrate. Kaz seemed to suppress the chill he felt, huffing slightly as the wind blew towards us.

"Why didn't you bring a jacket?" Kaz grumbled, his glare colder than the snow melting in my boots. "Your chattering teeth is starting to irritate me."

"I originally thought we'd be headed through Shu Han," I said through long breaths. I suddenly felt a thick jacket be placed.., no, more so dropped onto my shoulders. I turned to the Crow beside me, who refused to meet my gaze. With a breathy laugh, I slipped my arms into the jacket. It was soft and warm, but oversized on me. I dug my chilly hands into the lined pockets. "Thank you."

Kaz stayed silent, but I could tell he was cold in only his shirt and vest. "We need you in good health. The Crows, especially Matthias, need your tailoring skills to disguise us. I assume your business partner also knows of me, so that would be a problem." He explained, as if justifying his decision to himself.

We eventually reached a fork in the road, both paths leading to long, winding expanses of lifeless tundra. I indicated the correct road, but as we made our way, we saw a small shack.

The skeleton of the building was stacked logs and eroded wood was sparsticslly laying in chunks near the house. The inside had creaky wooden floors, a small kitchen area and bed rested on opposing sides. Fur hanging from the walls, for decor and warmth probably, a small fire place, and a couch were the only other things of note in the barren room.

"Oh, it reminds me of how Matthias and I had spent our first night together," Nina purred with a silly smile.

"Wylan and I are too fancy to sleep on the floor," Jesper said while sprawling out on the make-shift mattress. No one objected, but Matthias and Nina called the couch. Us single three left mutually decided we were on our own for sleeping areas.

"There's enough fur for the rest of us to just sleep on the floor separately," Inej pointed out, "but I'm okay sharing with Y/n if there is a shortage of blankets." She smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I returned her sentiment by promising to braid her hair later.

Jesper's eyes wandered around the room in observation, eventually landing on jacket-less Kaz and my body that was swallowed by said-jacket. His lips crooked into a sly grin.

"Nice jacket, Y/n," Jesper said and his eyes landed on the coat's owner, who froze.

"I'm going to collect firewood," Kaz grumbled and made his way outside the cabin quite quickly.

"I'll be right with ya', boss!" Jesper shot up from the bed and jogged after Kaz, his giggling and teasing still audible.

"Should we leave them alone in the woods?" Nina asked, "Kaz may kill the poor boy." Everyone laughed a bit, knowing looks shared between everyone besides me. I've been too casual, I've grown too close to them. Maybe... I should stay away from Kaz a bit since we aren't trapped on a boat together any longer.

✵ ♣ ✵

"He gave you his jacket?" Inej repeated the words I just spewed out nervously. I nodded in response as she turned to look at me with shock.

We sat together on the roof, which was very difficult for for me to get up to after Inej did so with grace. Stealth was not my thing. She sat in front of my crossed legs, leaning on me slightly, as I braided her hair ornately. The repetitive motions soothed me as I felt the pressure of the coming heist. "The last couple nights on the boat we've both gotten nightmares from too much time on the sea," I explained. "We've been talking from late to early, until the sunrises, or just sitting in silence."

Inej giggled a bit, I felt her shake against me as the laugh vibrated through her. "He doesn't grow fond of people quickly, I can't be sure, but I want you to stay with us after the heist," Inej said softly.

I hummed in response, "we'll see. Even if we part ways, I'll stay in touch with you and Nina." I couldn't see her face, but I could tell Inej was smiling.

We both looked down to see a babbling Jesper walking next to an exhausted looking Kaz. Inej turned to me as I had just finished braiding her long hair. Her lips were crooked into a michevious grin.

"Let's scare them," she whispered softly. I was pretty sure Kaz would have seen us by now, knowing how observant he is, but the idea was too tempting. We slid behind the slant of the roof and Inej silently leaped to a nearby tree, her wire-y figure wrapping around the limbs on it, gripping the bark. She chucked a pinecone at Jesper, knocking the eccentric hat off of his head. He squeaked as he attempted to get the snow off of his hat. Inej disappeared behind the tree as the two boys looked up at the direction the pinecone came from. As I aimed to hit Kaz with a pinecone, I slipped slightly. His keen eyes landed on the roof, but not before I hid myself from his line of vision.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." I whispered, still wearing Kaz's coat. I stayed silent for a moment before hearing the crunching of boots in the snow. I quickly hurled the pinecone at Kaz's head, but he swung his cane, hitting the pinecone perfectly. He didn't even look up. Before I realized it, the pinecone was headed straight for me. He was aiming for me. I dodged it, but in the process my grip on the roof loosened, causing me to slide down the roof towards Jesper and Kaz. They looked up at the roof, and the sharpshooter leaped to catch me. I fell into his arms with a thud.

I smiled nervously, "hey guys..." Inej shimmied down the tree and quickly came to check on me. Jesper let me down, laughing the whole time, but Kaz had an indescribable expression on his face.

"I told you we can't have you dead," his tone was serious, my smile dropping abruptly. "Stick to what you're good at; making your presence known, Seductress." He admonished my actions as he walked inside with firewood in one hand, cane in the other. Why am I so foolish when I'm around him?

Inej followed after him, sternly explaining it was her idea. I felt a warmth in my heart as she defended me.

"Come, Y/n, let's talk," Jesper said. He had a pelt of fur draped over him, keeping him warmer. I followed him in the frosty woods behind the cabin. He smirked a bit as we made our way around trees and fallen logs, as well as other suffering vegetation.

"Is something wrong? Do you need relationship advice for Wylan?" I asked with a twinge of concern.

"Oh, no, no. It's about Kaz," his self-assured demeanor stayed strong as I attempted to keep pace with his long-limbed figure. "He's taken an unusual liking to you." He gestured to coat I was wearing.

"He was just being polite," I said, but even I had a hard time saying it without becoming skeptical.

Jesper snorted and shook his head, "Kaz isn't nice to for no reason, Y/n. Despite was people say, Kaz Brekker always has a reason."

_____________

Word Count: 2344

_____________

I realize this seems more like a fast paced romance, but don't worry, the girl falls first in this story. We'll get there...

-Valentine

#fanfic #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #nina zenik #shadow and bone #six of crows #soc #grishaverse #matthias helvar #fjerda #wylan van eck #fem!reader #fem reader

[sunoorintarou]

Catharsis: Something only we know.

Phos!Reader x (Platonic) Getou Suguru

Warnings: Mentions of mental health, brief implications of child abuse, reader blames herself for everything, self loathing, mentions of health and eating disorders, Getou is still Getou, very angsty to somewhat comfort, Getou sees himself in reader

Notes: Hoo boy, this was alot. I love Getou tho so in this au, he will still be himself, but anyways pls prepare yourself for angst!!

"Getou - San?" You asked, finally finding the courage to voice your concerns. It was a hot day at the beach, as usual. Mahito was terrorising Jogo and Hanami while Getou rested with you in the shade.

"Yes, Y/n - chan?" Getou looked up from the book he was reading. It was unusual for you to suddenly speak to him, so he decided to give you his full attention when he did.

"Can- can I tell you, about my cursed technique? Is it OK, just, for insurance sake?" You stutter. You had been wanting to speak to Getou about your Cursed Technique since you met him but hadn't gotten the guts to till now.

"Of course, Y/n - chan, what is it?" Getou had been anticipating this conversation. He had been equally curious about your cursed technique, wanting to see the limits and advantages it held. But he didn't want to scare you off. You were the most closed off member of his 'family', and he knew you'd need time to tell him these things.

"Basically, my cursed technique... I can turn curses into various precious gems and alloys by touching them and absorbing them..." You started, knowing full well this wasn't what you wanted to say most.

Getou hummed, this was the basic information about it you had told him, but you were hesitating, clearly having something weighing on your mind. So he stayed patient, nodding along gently.

"The thing is... when I absorb curses... I feel sick, in here." You pointed to your chest, hands trembling ever so slightly.

"It's like, they become a part of me. Not in the soul way, but in the way where I can feel all the misery and pain, all those disgusting emotions that they held in me, I really feel it, in my bones and it makes me feel so so sick. I just-" You brought your knees to your chest, gently leaning your forehead against them.

For the longest time, you felt as if you were drowning. You had been physically sick for the longest time after the incident with your legs. You had nose bleeds so often the scent of blood seemed to linger around you. You could barely hold down your food, skipping meals or rushing to the bathroom, to expel the contents of your stomach.

It only got worse after what happened to your arms and Yukio. Although it seemed like your body had accepted the alloy immediately. It hadn't. You started vomiting blood, feeling such excruciating pain when the alloy started to spread into your bones, through your veins, forming it's own nervous and muscular system. There were days you couldn't even leave your bed, head spinning to the point you couldn't tell reality from dreams.

Those were the days you had simply locked your door, knowing the others would be worried and accept your mourning. Yet, it was so much deeper than that because a part of you felt as if you deserved this for what had happened to Yukio.

You were scared. What if he wrote you off or laughed at you? For being so weak? You couldn't even take absorbing a couple curses? What if they were right, everyone else, your past friends, your parents, what if you really were just pathetic and weak-

You froze when you felt Getou's hand on your head, looking up at him with eyes glazed over in gold.

If there was one person you understood your feelings better than anyone else, it was Getou. The feeling of swallowing curses was so disgusting to him. He despised it more than anything. Even worse when absorbing them into your being. He knew how you felt first hand. The only difference was that he could get rid of that feeling by releasing them and you... could not. They were truly a part of you.

"Ah, right, right, I need to, to say something else. My body- has a built-in network of gems and gold. I don't know how to explain it but it's like a, a nervous system. It covers my bones and everything, then it crystallises to stop bleeding- that's why-" you decided showing him was better than trying to explain.

You grabbed your finger in one hand, taking in a deep breath when you snapped it off. Getou's eyes widened, watching how the previously exposed muscle and bone was covered with gold in a split second to stop the bleeding.

You then chipped away the thing layer of gold before placing your hand back against your hand. Immediately, liquid gold repaired the crack. You moved your finger, tilting your head to look at Getou.

"Doesn't it hurt? Doesn't it have any negative effects?" Getou asked, looking at it in surprise.

"I- if, if it's a lot of my body and I can't get it back- like, my consciousness, I think, I don't know, but it lives in the crystal. So whenever I lose parts of my body, I lose parts of myself, I- I start to forget things, names, people, places, I- it does hurt. Alot." Your voice went soft, a tear running down your cheek before you could stop it.

"Then don't use it. You're powerful enough without using that part of your Cursed Technique, and if it's hurting you, then stop. Even if you're fighting and feel like that's the only way to win, ask for help. One of us will always be with you. Because if you do use it, even if you win, it won't make up for what you lose."

As you looked at Getou, although his voice was gentle, you could tell he wasn't actually there with you. He seemed to be reliving something in that mind of his. Eyes out of focus as he gently patted your hair.

Getou was saying to you, things he wished someone could have said to him all those years ago. Not those exact words, heck, maybe not even anything close to that. But all he wished for at that time was for someone to hear him and tell him it would be OK. It wouldn't fix anything. The path Getou was to walk on was fixed, predestined from the second he was born into this cruel world. But perhaps, it could have delayed the inevitable or helped him enough to not blame himself.

"Getou - san..." Tears built up in your eyes, gold trailing down your cheeks, and that seemed to bring Getou back.

"There, there, it's OK. We'll just be careful, Phosphophyllite only has a hardness of 3.5 after all." He teased, gently patting your hair. He couldn't change the past, but he could choose his future, and that's all that mattered.

#houseki no kuni #jjk angst #jjk x hnk crossover #land of the lustrous #phos!reader #catharsis #hnk x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #platonic getou suguru #getou suguru angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #getou x reader

[suddenlybambi]

as long as you stay here [7] ♥ kyle broflovski

pairing : kyle broflovski x reader

college AU - 18+

tags : strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, alcohol, afab reader, she/her pronouns, eventual smut

words : 2.5k

chapter 7

previous | next | alaysh masterlist

a/n - ngl besties i'm excited for the next chapter 😈 maybe posting that tomorrow if you're lucky

also, all of the comments i get regarding this story is so motivating and sweet thank you so so so much i appreciate them and kick my lil feet at my desk like an excited toddler being given candy in their highchair thank you 🥰

Y/N hummed a little song as she sat on the kitchen counter with Kyle standing awkwardly between her legs as she tended to his hand the next morning. She had spent five minutes trying to decide which cream would be best to help heal him. They had about 7 different ones because of how accident-prone she apparently was. She always liked to be prepared.

“What song is that?” Kyle asked, trying to distract himself from how close she was. He had barely gotten any sleep that night. At first, it was due to how loud Clyde and Bebe had been, but once they had finally drifted off to sleep after an hour, he found himself unable to relax because Y/N was curled around him. He was so worried about moving and waking her up that he laid there as stiff as a board for hours, staring at the ceiling.

He found out she talked in her sleep a little. None of it made any sense; she mumbled something about a dancing snail and then something about a chair that was stuck upside down. He wanted to ask her about it when she woke up but didn’t want to seem like a complete creep who listened to her sleeping all night. She also lightly snored most of the night; it was the cutest thing he had ever heard.

“Not sure,” Y/N pondered for a second, racking her brain to figure out what song had lodged itself in it that morning. She hummed a little more of it. “I think I heard it in an ad for life insurance?”

“Right! The one with the talking cat,” Kyle nodded in recollection. “The way they made its mouth move always creeped me out.”

“I swear it had human teeth….” Y/N shivered lightly in discomfort at the memory.

“How is my hand looking?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Honestly, not too bad!” She smiled, carefully wrapping a fresh bandage around it. It was pink and had little hearts on it, he knew he’d get the shit ripped out of him if any of the guys saw it, but he couldn’t bring himself to say no when she suggested it. “We can probably take the bandage off tonight to let air get to it, but we’ll keep it on for today.” 

“It already feels a lot better than it did last night,” He admitted, looking down at her delicate movements. He spoke again without thinking. “Must have been because you kissed it better.” His eyes widened as he realised what words came out of his mouth, cheeks instantly flushing red. Regret and embarrassment hit him like a truck, but she just gave him her usual sweet smile that caused his heart to skip a beat in response.

“In that case…” Y/N brought Kyle’s hand up to her mouth. “I guess I’ll have to do it again!” She pressed another little kiss on his palm, just like she had the night before. This one had a slightly different energy to it. The one at the diner had been a fast little peck that was clearly supposed to be a joke that she hadn’t thought much about before doing, but this one was very gentle and deliberate. It was full of care.

“What did I just walk into?” Bebe yawned as she rounded the corner and spotted the two. “I thought I heard more than one person giggling last night.”

“Surprised you could hear anything over last night's schoolgirl roleplay,” Y/N retorted, shuffling her leg around Kyle so she could hop off of the counter. He held his non-bandaged hand out to help her down, which she happily took. “Now, was it yours or Clyde’s idea for him to be the schoolgirl?”

“Just because your sex life is boring-” Bebe looked Kyle up and down as she spoke. He felt like she was analysing every inch of his appearance, which she probably was. “Or is it?”

“My sex life is non-existent,” Y/N mumbled in response.

“Uh-huh, so Kyle is just in our apartment wearing your clothes for completely non-sexual reasons?”

“His hand is hurt!” Y/N took Kyle by the wrist to show the proof of his injury as he stood there, watching the interaction happen without being able to move. He didn’t know how to respond to Bebe, but Y/N seemed to have it covered. “He can’t drive until it has healed, so he stayed here. So, yes, he is in our apartment wearing my clothes for completely non-sexual reasons.”

“Whatever you say!” Bebe shrugged. Playful smiles toying at hers and Y/N’s lips told Kyle that they were teasing one another in good fun. “Don’t let me get in the way of your doctor/patient roleplay.” Y/N looked like she was about to argue back, but she was interrupted.

“What’s happening?” Clyde emerged from the bedroom, Y/N and Kyle instantly shielding their eyes. Bebe laughed, grabbing one of her magazines from the counter and settling down at the tiny kitchen table, kicking her legs up as she watched what was about to go down.

“Clyde! Clothes!” Y/N shouted, turning to bury her head against Kyle’s arm for added cover. “Every goddamn morning! What is wrong with you?”

“It’s like the locker rooms after PE all over again,” Kyle groaned, recalling how Clyde used to just walk around the locker room completely bare without a care in the world. His confidence would have been something to be envied if it wasn’t so discomforting to witness. 

“Y/N, did you get our professor’s email this morning?” Clyde asked, shuffling around to put the boxers that he had been carrying on. He had remembered to pick them up before leaving his room but not put them on. Small steps; he might remember that step next time. Maybe… Probably not.

“I’ve not checked yet; why?” Y/N asked, peeking out from behind Kyle’s arm to see if the coast was clear and Clyde was no longer exposed. She let out a small sigh of relief and pulled away when she deemed it was safe. 

“He ate something dodgy and has food poisoning,” Clyde explained, wrapping his arms around Bebe as she sat down, resting his head on top of hers and glancing at the magazine she was absentmindedly flicking through. Kyle couldn’t help but envy how confidently he could be affectionate in front of others. “So he’s just sent us a bunch of material and cancelled today’s lecture.”

“Wanna go through the material together?” Y/N suggested to Clyde. Kyle frowned a little at this. He convinced himself that it was because he didn’t really want to study with Clyde, but he knew it was just because he didn’t want to share Y/N’s attention with anyone else, even if it was just the roommate she complained about constantly. 

It took a second for him to remember that they didn’t even have plans to study together that day. She would usually be in class. He had just assumed that, now that she didn’t have class, they would spend their free time together. It was strange, Kyle usually valued his time alone above anything, but he had quickly come to prefer to spend his alone time with Y/N.

“Well, Bebe has Fridays off, so…” Clyde leaned over and pressed a kiss to his girlfriend’s lips, a suggestive smirk appearing as he pulled away. “I think we’ll do a little ‘studying’ together.”

“Gross!” Y/N groaned, looking away as Clyde pulled Bebe into a deeper kiss with what was definitely considered to be too much tongue. “Not in the kitchen!” At that, Clyde scooped Bebe up in his arms and carried her to their bedroom, not bothering to properly close the door properly behind them. Y/N chased after to pull the door closed in a poor attempt to at least somewhat muffle the sound.

“They’re like rabbits in heat,” She shook her head, packing the first-aid kit up as fast as possible so they could get out of there. She pocketed a couple of items that she had used, Kyle assumed it was to treat his hand again later, and it made him smile to know she was thinking of him and planning ahead.

“I have a free period this morning,” Kyle helped pack up and followed behind Y/N as she retreated to her room. “Should we go to the library so we don’t have to stay here?” He hoped she didn’t pick up on the fact that he had assumed that, no matter what they were doing and where they were going, they would be doing it together.

Y/N gave him a thankful smile at the suggestion. “As long as we can pick up some cupcakes from that bakery along the way?”

Their usual table was taken, so Y/N and Kyle ended up settling down on one of the couches in the corner, as it was one of the only other spaces where the library allowed patrons to bring food and drink. 

They had been there for an hour. Y/N’s legs, at some point, had swung over Kyle’s lap in an attempt to get comfortable, and Kyle had his textbook rested atop them. Noticing her yawning, he suggested that they take a 10-minute break from studying. Over their multiple study sessions, they had picked up on one another’s subconscious queues that signalled that they were getting worn out from studying and would suggest 10-minute breaks whenever they spotted one. Kyle found that it worked out better for him, and he got a lot more studying done as he actually absorbed the information instead of reading the same line 10 times and still forgetting it because he was overwhelmed with everything else and hadn’t taken a break.

“Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving break?” Kyle asked, closing his book for the time being to signify he was listening to her. “Going home to see your family?”

“Well, my dad is dead, my brother is galavanting around Europe with his fiance, and my mom won’t talk to me anymore because I destroyed the future she had planned for me, so…” Y/N sighed, fiddling with her pen. “Nah, no plans to go home and see family.”

“I’m so sorry,” He seemed deflated as he realised that he might have unintentionally upset her with what he thought was an innocent question. “I had no idea.”

“It’s fine; you had no way of knowing. I hadn’t told anyone,” She smiled in an attempt to cheer him up and show that she wasn’t that upset by it. “I was going to ask Doris and Jay if I could spend the day with them, but they’re visiting Jay’s parents in Texas, so I’ll be spending Thanksgiving alone in the apartment. The peace will be nice, I guess?”

“Why don’t you come back to South Park with me?” Kyle suggested it before even considering if it was a good idea or not. He didn’t like the idea of Y/N being alone for the holidays. “My parents would be happy to have a visitor, and I’m sure everyone else would love to have you around for the week.”

“You know… I’d really like that… Thank you,” She smiled, reaching over and placing her hand gently on his arm in thanks. He could feel the warmth radiating off of her even through the sweater he had thrown on over the top of the t-shirt he had borrowed. “To be honest, I’ve never had a proper Thanksgiving. My brother spent holidays with his dad, so it was just Mom and me, and she would always be preoccupied with entering me in seasonal pageants and competitions to care about actually celebrating the holidays. I think I’ve had one Thanksgiving meal and two Christmas dinners over my life.”

“If my mom hears that she will flip, you’ll be invited to every holiday at the Broflovski’s for the rest of time,” He laughed, his hand resting on top of hers. “Which might be a bit of a curse now that I think about it….”

“I don’t think spending time with you could ever be a curse,” The words made him blush. His hand stiffened slightly, and he hoped she didn’t notice the effect she had on him. How could she say such things with no hesitation? “Speaking of curses, have you got any plans for Halloween? There’s a horror movie marathon at the theatre from 8pm until 4am. They’re going from the cheesy old stuff with horrible CGI to the movies that were banned in some countries because of how freaked out people got.” Halloween had crept up with alarming speed; Kyle had completely forgotten that it was that weekend.

“Horror movies aren’t really my thing,” Kyle laughed nervously. He had never liked horror movies, particularly when Cartman would insist on watching them at every sleepover they had growing up. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself by jumping every two seconds.

“You sure? You can always hide behind me if you’re scared?” Y/N teased, squeezing his arm lightly before removing her hand to brush her hair out of her face. “I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I promised Tweek and Craig that I would help with their party,” He sighed, remembering the promise he had made a month prior when he had thought he would have nothing better to do on Halloween. Tweek was more stressed than usual, and Kyle needed him to calm down a little as he was driving at the time, and it was making him nervous, so he had agreed to help in an attempt to soothe him. “Did Bebe not tell you about it?”

“She did…” Y/N grimaced, shifting her legs off of Kyle’s lap to stretch. He missed the contact instantly. “I’ve just been trying to find an excuse to not attend.”

“Ah, so hanging out with me is just an excuse?” He pretended to be offended but couldn’t suppress his playful grin when he saw her laughing. “You should come to the party, and we can be stuck-up nerds together.”

“We can just be so miserable and unlikeable that they kick us out of the party!” She gasped in delight as though she had just solved world hunger instead of plotting how to avoid a social gathering. “I guess I’d better tell Bebe I’m going.” 

“I’ll let my mom know that you’re coming for Thanksgiving,” Kyle smiled, grabbing his phone from his pocket. “She’s been asking to meet you; she’ll be so excited.”

“So you’ve talked about me to your mom?” Y/N teased. He froze, realising the words he had said. His mom checked in on him regularly, and he had told her all about his new friend immediately since she had become such a staple in his life already.

“I mean, we spend so much time together,” Kyle did his best to shrug it off as though he wasn’t embarrassed about it.

“Well, we should get back to studying,” Y/N grabbed her textbook and clicked her pen again, settling down to work. “Wouldn’t want your mom to think I’m a bad influence on you.”

a/n - let me know if you would like to be on the taglist for this fic

current taglist - @n0tangeliccc @solana-central @charqing-qing @eiizabeth-torres @hand-writxen @audiliah @cosmicbroenies @himoutolikesjojo @katnipkoffee

#kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski fic #south park fanfiction #south park kyle #south park fic #alaysh #alaysh suddenlybambi #as long as you stay here #kyle broflovski x reader

[bomberqueen17]

ok if you start typing a post title and then backspace you lose the entire field to have a post title and there's no way to get it back, so here we are, untitled.

So I spent two weeks at the farm, and was trialing Adderall, and it was sort of impossible to make any judgements about the medication because when I'm at the farm there's such a routine and task lists and stuff it's easy to just follow along, which is part of the reason I go there. But now I'm home and after a three-minute video consulation that cost $210 after insurance I am just doing two more weeks of the same thing. So I'm going to try to conscientiously log symptoms and side effects and things, so that at my next $200+ consultation I can get like some actual advice maybe.

(Whatever. I have the money in my HSA I might as well.)

So I'll go on about that after the cut probably but first: Eclipse!

My niece and mom are coming to hang for the eclipse, and my mother-not-law will join us. We may end up hanging out at her house or at mine, I'm meant to be scouting locations-- there are many many events going on locally, some free and some not, but there is also an estimated tourist load of about three million excess people expected in the region, and I just feel like traffic is going to be so terrible. I don't want to go anywhere I have to drive to! And I don't want to be stuck sitting in a venue somewhere.

So I'm gonna come up with snacks and a couple of activities (probably involving cameras!) at my house or at M-N-L's if her view is better (she has a paved patio that faces south so I suspect it will be; my best vantage point is my unshaded concrete stoop, as my sunporch has a western view and is not totally unimpeded).

Ideas for snacks and activities welcome, my starter list below the cut.

Activities:

Beforehand, I will get either white or black t-shirts, and we can decorate them with dye or bleach, and make ourselves commemmorative shirts. I have everything I need for this but the shirts.

Set up a camera on a tripod to record the eclipse? Set up another one pointed at a white sheet to record shadows.

Have several objects prepared to cast shadows with. I probably can't get a leafy branch this time of year, but a couple of colanders, a grid or something, a stretch of lace, that kind of thing, mounted in embroidery hoops or whatever, to look at the cool shadow shapes.

Of course I have eclipse glasses.

Snacks: oh i can't put this one in bullet points thanks tumblr, no i don't want this to be a gigantic asterisk never mind

frosted cookies cheese plate we can pretend are in festive shapes, my ass is not going to bother with that vegetables lol

Anyway I'm still sorta brainstorming that. My niece is ten, so it's not like i need little-kid stuff, I just want things that will actually be cool to observe. I haven't researched this yet I just remember watching leaf shadows at the 2017 eclipse.

So that's that. Currently I'm tidying the house kinda lowkey, because it's in better shape than usual and also it's just BIL and niece stopping overnight, but it's a good trial run of the guest bedroom. I'm mostly there and am on a 15-min break just now. Still have to set up the guest bed which means moving shit out of the way in that room.

Now: Symptom log.

Adderall makes me very dehydrated. I drink and drink and drink until I can't stand water anymore, and I'm still sorta thirsty and I pee like. Twice a day at most. Kinda weird.

During the two weeks at the farm I had one incidence of a terrible 20-hour headache, and another incidence of vertigo, and I think both were just plain dehydration, because I was drinking water like a normal slightly thirsty person. No, I need to have a huge mug next to me at all times and just drink out of it every couple of minutes. it's intense.

I also sweat really easily. it doesn't seem to be affecting my actual stamina; I get overheated and kind of huff and puff with light activity, but once I'm moving I'm fine and can do a normal day's amount of work without undue fatigue. I'm not sweating enough to explain the dehydration, but I am sweating a whole lot more than normal for this time of year. I may have problems with this in the heat and am already preparing to give that some thought.

Insomnia: not really anything outside my normal. I've had problems for a few years where I'll not be able to sleep, or will wake ultra-early and have trouble returning to sleep, and I've continued with this but no more often than normal and have in fact had several *very* good nights of sleep. I also, the first or second day I took this stuff, had an *incredible* nap around 2pm when I think the dose wore off, and then slept fine that same night. So. I feel kind of lucky with that and will not complain.

But: what is the medication actually doing?? Is my concentration better?

Short answer: not that I've noticed. Hard to observe, at the farm; there's an external schedule there, and I've never had much trouble just getting on that. It's something I've done for years; I love hitching a ride on a household's schedule and then I don't miss meals or lose hours to accidental procrastination. "What's got to get done today? Here's the list, pick what you want and when to do it" has always been my ideal situation. I was able to accomplish more than the list most days, and my motivation was good, and as usual my limitation was not drive but physical pain. (Yes, the PT has helped my bad hip so much, but my "good" hip was a bastard the entire time, with the awful radiating nerve pain from my knee through my lower back. Don't like that, PT isn't fixing that nearly so well.)

So, now that I'm at home, I've had two days totally on my own schedule, and the results are uh. not good. I still don't know how to make my own to-do lists very well, still don't have any clear notion of what I can expect to achieve in a day, still don't really know how to break down tasks well, and super don't know how to initiate them. I fell back on my old junebugging ways, where you just say "ok go!" and do whatever pops into your mind in the order it occurs to you, and hope some of the things on your list get done, and that's got me through a fair bit of housecleaning and putting my stuff away and such.

But I've been having, the same as or more than usual, problems where I pause and then get stuck. I go to pee and wind up on my phone on the toilet scrolling some app or other until my leg falls asleep. I go in the kitchen intending to make lunch and wind up staring out the window a while. I set out to do the dishes and wind up cleaning every window I can reach.

So it's frustrating, I can't tell if this is better or worse than before, and I also think the medication wears off in the early afternoon so my effective window of testing is really short and not really getting me anywhere. But we'll see, I still have a week and a half so I will try some more non-medical frameworks to see if I can't prop the meds up into giving me some more function. And yes, I'm sorta recovering from the relocation, that's always an issue, so maybe the last two days being not ideal are inevitable and I just have to settle more into routine. But that's frustrating.

Anyway. OK. Off my ass and back to work.

#about the author #solar eclipse #adhd #idk

[happyk44]

"You are like the calm before a storm," she said. "People step out, vaguely aware of what looms beyond the sun and clouds. I'm like a tsunami. Sudden, with little time to escape."

"So you're just an asshole then?" Percy huffed. "At least the calm before the storm helps people prepare before it hits. Get their stuff indoors, insurance up-to-date, eat all the crap in their fridge before it goes bad. You're just a dick."

Nothing about her dead-eyed stare changed. But the air around him grew cold, and the blood in his veins seemed to freeze over the longer they sat in silence.

Then, "I am not a dick. If anything, I'm better than you. The calm gives false hope. The tsunami does not."

He glared at her. "No offense, but only a few hours ago did you splatter a bunch of people into paste and try to do the same thing to my friends, so forgive me if I have trouble seeing how you could possibly be better than me." He clenched his hands into tight fists. "And the calm doesn't give false hope. The calm gives you time."

Her empty look continued as she leaned in closer. "You are a riptide. A calm surface hiding a raging current. I am the sea on a stormy day. What you see is what you get." She gestured to herself. "I am a truth, and you," she said, with a punctuated prod against Percy's chest, "are a lie." She sat back, and cocked her head slightly. "That's why I'm better than you."

#happy talks pjo #🙃 im still totally not thinking about a daughter of neptune fic. i am definitely not brainstorming plots right now. #but i also like the idea of them being represented by a tsunami because even on the sunshiniest of days they can still hit #which i think showcases the sort of i dont care ill hit you whenever i want energy im imagining them to have #anyway 👍👍👍 i am going to try to think of other things #daughters of neptune

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

I have the z flip four after being an iphone user for a decade (along with an iphone). Here are my thoughts on each.

In terms of cameras, iphone is miles ahead of android. But with customization, android is king. My jaw nearly hit the floor at being able to customize my keyboard.

The android operating system isn’t as straightforward as that of iOS, but android does add many extra features that iphone doesn’t have.

No matter which team you side with, data switching is a nightmare! Make sure you have a cord to help you so you don’t struggle like I did!

The keys on iPhones keyboard are thicker than that of android, and in terms of personal preference, that was a big win for iphone.

But!!! I added a language on my android (korean) and was offered several options for keyboard design! It was astonishingly beautiful!

The cover screen that is unique to the z-flip is incredibly sophisticated. I loved that feature before I ever considered getting an android. It can take pictures, make calls, do Samsung pay, play music, and more. The versatility is unreal.

Also the portability one ups iphone by a mile.

But in terms of durability, iphone is winning. I’ve heard too many stories of cracked screens to believe my good fortune with them will last.

Hallelujah for insurance.

I love the themes that galaxy hosts. My wallpaper can move on its own! It’s just beautiful! Apple needs to jump on that bandwagon asap.

One of the things that really bothered me with the flip was the fingerprint sensor. A lot of times because of being a frequent iphone user I find myself resting my finger on the lock button. With it as a fingerprint sensor, it brought some chaos to my day.

I prefer apple’s notification style as opposed to android’s. After changing the notification style I felt slightly better but I often got the sense that I was frequently missing something.

The font style is slightly different on websites between the two of them. Neither one is better, I’m just saying this so that if anybody else has a weird sense of dysphoria about it, they know they aren’t crazy.

The flexibility with the z flip is insane. I love the multiple camera angles. But that ability to flip will leave an indent in the screen, so you should be prepared to have a bit of a scare if you’re an iphone user who feels that divot for the first time.

In terms of battery life, iphone is it. I have had the flip for less than twelve hours. It’s needed to charge twice. My iphone only needed one charge.

Final Thoughts:

I got the z flip in order to get outside my comfort zone and grow more open minded after a decade of iphone. I do not regret buying it. I don’t believe one is actually superior to the other, because they are both great phones but for different reasons. Depending on what you need the phone for, one or the other can be ideal to suit your needs. If you want portability, more options for customization, and a sophisticated cover screen, the Z flip is absolutely for you. If you’re looking for durability, a great camera, and excellent battery life, the iphone is for you. And if you’re lucky as I am, you can experience the best of both.

I hope this gives other people a bit of insight into what they can expect from the other party!

#outofguard #mun post #android products #apple products #apple iphone #Samsung z flip 4 #mun thoughts

[egletsfics]

Nyan Neko Sugar Highschool - Chapter 2

Chaptar 2: Da Neko School Festiaval

Raku-chan and Koneko chan went into Neko High School. They went to their classrooms and sat in there seats.

The teacher came in. It was... Vet-sama! She changed her job from a vet to a teacher becuz her door insurance ran out and she could not take it.

"Hello all you neko girls and non neko people," said Vet san. "As you all know today is the school Festival so there will be no class today instead you will be preparing for the festival. Go to ur assigned festival stalls and get to work, good luck out there everyneko!"

Koneko chan was distracted by Vet-sama's gigungus amazing superlative oppai which were very hot and sexy.

Boobies... thought Koneko-chan. But she shook her head around animely in order to clear her mind of such thoughts. She focused on thinking abuot the school festival instead.

As the students steadily streamed out of the classroom, talking excitedly amongst themselves as they went to their assigned posts, Raku-chan was still thinking hard about her love confession. She was troubled that she still hadn't been able to come up with the right words to express her love, but she didn't have any ideas about what else she could do.

But then it hit her - Koneko-chan! Koneko was really smart and stuff, she would know what to do!

"Koneko-chan koneko-chan desu! Watashi has to talk to anata about somthing really really important nya!" Raku chan called out, running towards Koneko-chan.

Koneko-chan was stationed at a green tea mochi ice-cream stall at the northeast end of the festival grounds, which was why she was slightly confused upon noticing Raku-chan running towards her. As far as she knew, Raku-chan was supposed to be stationed at the kawaii pantsu panty chan stall on the west side, which was funded by Kawaii underwear chan store ^o^.

"Uh, okay Raku-chan what do you want to talk about?" asked Koneko Chan.

"Uh...I want to ask... h-how would you confess ur... ur ai to sumone!!!??!?!??!?//!" yelled Raku chan.

"Oh, uh, wow," said Koneko chan, not knowing how to respond. Raku-chan was her friend. As her friend, Koneko should be helping Raku with everything she had. It wasn't like Koneko didn't have the knowledge, or the ability to help. It should have been simple to advise Raku about her feelings.

But all the same, Koneko found a certain painful bitterness welling up inside her heart, as she realized that she wasn't the person Raku wanted to confess to.

"Do u not know Koneko-chan??! Oh, sorry then for bothering you nya desu," Raku-chan apologized. It was her fault for assuming that Koneko-chan would always have all the answers to every problem, she was only neko after all.

"No, I do... I do know. I can help you," Koneko-chan said simply, an undercurrent of some unidentifiable emotion in her voice. She smiled as Raku immediately lit up, her ears perking up and sparkly shoujo bubbles filling the air around her.

This was the most she could do for Raku. Even if she couldn't be that special person Raku gave herself to, Koneko would do everything in her power to protect that shining smile.

๑ஓ-----------------‧₊˚ʚ♡ɞ˚₊‧-----------------ஓ๑

"A... a love letter nyan?" Raku-chan asked, confused. Koneko-chan's suggestion was better than nothing, but Raku-chan wasn't fully convinced.

Koneko-chan nodded. "I know, it doesn't seem like a really sugoi plan at first glance. However, using a love letter is actually an ingenious strategy to ensure absolute victory, and romantic success."

Raku-chan still didn't understand. "Huh? Why desu nya?"

"Because it allows you to circumvent one of the main problems faced in a confession, whether your feelings are returned or not. The simple act of holding out a love letter lets you gauge the reaction of whoever you're confessing to. You can determine whether they like you or not, and take appropriate action based on that."

"But isn't that embarrassing desu?" asked Raku-chan. "And... and what if they don't like you back? W-what then nya?"

Koneko-chan smiled again. "That's the best part of the love letter strategy. If things aren't going well, you can just rely on your backup plan—say it was just a joke."

Raku-chan's neko ears perked up and her eyes widened in amazement. "Wow... what a sugoi idea nyaaa!!!!!! Arigato gozaimasu Koneko-chan!"

Koneko-chan looked at Raku-chan affectionately as the newly reinvigorated neko hurried away to the kawaii pantsu panty chan stall with fresh determination, waving goodbye as she disappeared into the crowd.

The growing line of customers and the yells of her fellow classmates manning the stall drew Koneko-chan out of the moment. She busied herself with work for the festival, scooping green tea mochi ice cream out of the large, frozen canisters it was contained in.

It was much easier than facing her emotions.

๑ஓ-----------------‧₊˚ʚ♡ɞ˚₊‧-----------------ஓ๑

RATE & REVEW 4 MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#nyan neko sugar girls #nnsg #raku chan #koneko chan #fanfic #ao3 #anime #high school au #neko #love #unrequited love #;-; #RIP koneko chan #lol #love letters #aishiteru #mochi ice cream #school festival #kawaii underwear #Kawaii underwear chan store ^o^

[crazyunsexycool]

Can you imagine reader and Bucky sitting at a dinner table or something with friends and Dot or someone come in and start saying shit to Bucky/reader. Bucky smirks because he knows reader so well and knows she's not going to react well to this and he's like "you better watch out" to whoever it going off on them. Sorry idk how best to explain this

Fuck around and find out

It was supposed to be a nice relaxing dinner amongst friends. Sam and Sarah Wilson, Bucky, Steve, Becca and the rest of your group were seated at the back of a very back of the restaurant. The conversation and the company was pleasant. Every so often you or Bucky would lean into each other and share a quick kiss or spoke low into each other’s ear about the things you were to do to each other once you left for the night.

It was all quickly ruined as a short blonde woman stomped her way toward your table. She glared daggers at you and crossed her arms over her chest. You looked in Jake’s direction and he quickly took out his phone.

“May we help you?” You asked from across the table as you sat up straighter. Bucky drapes his arm over the back of your chair.

“No but maybe you can help yourself, slut.”

Nebula and Gamora quickly stood from their respective seats with the intention of removing her from your area. You waved them down and they went back to their seats.

“Please enlighten me.. I’m sorry what’s your name?”

“It’s Daisy Gibbons.”

“Daisy,” Bucky spoke up. “You really don’t wanna do this, why don’t you go back to your date?”

She narrowed her eyes in Bucky’s direction before turning to look at you. Your phone buzzed and you pulled it out, looking over the message, you smirk.

“So how can I help myself?”

“You should find a man that is single. You’re nothing more than a whore.”

“You must be one of Dot’s friends.”

“Yes I am. She doesn’t deserve this. Why can’t you leave Bucky alone. He’s in a very happy relationship and you’re ruining it.”

You gasp and put a hand on your chest as you turn to Bucky. “You’re in a happy relationship and didn’t tell me?”

Bucky chuckles as he sits back.

“Listen here Daisy,” you look back at her. “Why don’t you go back to your table and leave us alone. I really don’t want to get into this with someone I don’t know.”

“Someone has to put you in your place. You should be ashamed of yourself, home wrecker.”

“You really should have gone back to your table Daisy.” Bucky says and the others at the table snicker.

“It’s really bold of you to call me a home wrecker when you’re here on a date with your boss. The man who’s married with two kids and one on the way. What’s his name? Oh that’s right, Jeff Peterson. I’m sure you wouldn’t want his wife Donna to know that you’ve been sucking her husband’s dick since the second week of you working there.”

“How did you know?” She looked at you slightly horrified.

“Know what? That he promised to leave his wife for you or that you have a sex tape of the two of you as an insurance policy?” You smirk. “It’s my business to know the weakness of the people that try to come and mess with me. Now go back to your date and keep your mouth shut. If I see you again Mrs. Peterson is getting everything I have on you. Got it?”

She nods frantically and practically runs back to her table.

“Kind of harsh don’t you think?” Becca asked.

“Nah, if you fuck around you should be prepared to find out.”

#is it a crime? ask #val answers #you’ve got mail 💌 #is it a crime? drabble

[lettersfromleslie]

TOUR FADES / FINGER DAYS / & THE TWISTY PATH UNSCROLLIN AHEAD

Welly well, much has happened since I last wrote ya, as ever. The new album, "Halfway Home" went live on August 5th. There was a slammed release show at the Sultan Room. Vinyl records, CDs, and cassettes started tip-toeing their way out into the world. A hectic and sweaty phase of nightly park busking. And then off on my first tour since 2014, an 11-date meander around Central Europe.

What a lot of ground to cover! Especially looking back at it from the start of this next phase of lassitude and healing. I reckon I'll just not cover most of it, for now. It's out of sight, out of mind. I'm back in my place in Brooklyn, with a garbled head and a bandaged finger, all of it behind me, and little idea of what comes next. I always knew the old lost feeling of having-put-something-out would find me once I got home, but it's been stepped up some because of my damn finger.

The finger phase, that's how I'll remember this time. Here's what happened: Two thirds of the way through the tour, in Slovakia, on my way from Bratislava to a concert Nitra, I caught my left index finger in an especially slicey metal door. One minute I was whistling away, thinking bout my set, looking forward to diving into some Raymond Chandler on the train ride over, and the next I'm looking in complete disbelief at my finger, half the damn tip hanging off and the blood starting to flow. A lot of paper towels, a panicked ride to the hospital, a very sheepish phone call with my Slovakian booking agent from the E.R. waiting room, asking her to cancel the night's performance. And then a big, serene Slovakian surgeon preparing the needle and thread. "Do you think you could give this finger a bit of extra love?" I mumble, lying down on the operating table, hot on top of everything else because I'm still wearing my coat (too much blood and paper towels to take off). "I mean, not doubting you, but I really need that finger to be okay. I'm a guitar player. I'm here on tour." "You play the guitar? For work?" "Yeah." "You should take better care of your hands, then!" "Well, yeah." "How long before you go home?" "About two weeks." He looks at me laconically. "I think you will not be playing guitar in two weeks." My finger was anasthetized, disinfected, stitched up, bandaged. I was worried about the bill because I have no health insurance. As it turned out, the out-of-pocket cost of stitching up a finger in Slovakia comes to $37.10. So that was something.

Depressing conversations followed, of course. Everyone around me took it as a given that the remaining four dates would be cancelled. I refused to consider it... I figured that as much as I love noodling around on the guitar, I'm a yodeler first. Shit, even if the crowd showed up and I was just standing there in a hospital gown with me finger in the air, mumbling apocalyptic verses, that sounded like less of a bummer than if I cancelled. Besides, I had other acts to consider - the lovely Andrea Bucko, a local celeb in Bratislava, was opening the following night, and after that two shows with my old friend Karl who would open with his act Interbellum. Even if I bombed I wanted to give them a chance to play. So, what can you play without a left index finger? Started looking around for autoharps. I found out that Bratislava is not a great place to search for autoharps. I started looking around for keyboards. As luck would have it one of our contacts in Bratislava was able to loan us a small Yamaha keyboard - one of those slightly cheesy-sounding jobs with the built-in speakers, drum patterns, and an unnecessary amount of functions. I stayed up half the nite trying to re-arrange my songs for keys while taking breaks to ice me throbbing fingey. As good a way as any to keep yer mind off the catastrophes...

I was thinking about David Byrne the whole time. Last January Ariel and I had snagged tickets to see his American Utopia show on Broadway, and days before the concert half his band had tested positive for COVID. Rather than cancel the show, he'd written all ticket holders a breathless email in which he wrote that he would be happy to refund or change our tickets, but that we should know he and the remaining band members were creating an "Exciting new show, a show you'll never, ever see again, a 'Once in a Lifetime' experience, that will only be seen for a few performances!" What was striking was how badly he still seemed to want us to come. Every seat was filled in that theater that nite. And all through the chaotic, stripped-down performance, Byrne and his band did everything they could to make the crowd feel like they really were getting something special, something that attendees of the regular show wouldn't experience. For the crew it must've been a nightmare, but for us in the crowd it was inspiring.

So I'd like to thank D.B. for that one, as well as his music. That's the attitude I took to putting together a new set... And the show went on, eh? I stumbled and gaffed plenty, but I made sure everyone was in on it. "We'll always have this, me darlings" - said jokingly, but I meant it - "Up to the days of our deaths we'll always have Stubby Bob's Fingerless Roadshow - for your eyes and ears only. Enjoy!"

Hell, I'm proud for seeing it thru. And I hope everyone does remember it. Aside from Nitra, the day of the slice, not a show was cancelled.

That was that. Ariel joined for the last part of the tour and we flew back to NYC via Romania, a country we'd both always wanted to visit. Took a night train from Budapest to Sibiu, going thru the grotesque learning process of changing a finger bandage in our rattling sleeping compartment. Spent a week slinking about Transylvania, dragging me mummyfinger around the vampire-kitsch of the local tourist industry. Spooky season. Just right. Blew some tour money. Pushed off the reckoning.

Anyway, here it is, that reckoning. Out of work I be for a while, sitting on my arse in Brooklyn watching the weather turn from gold to grey, signing bills for suture removal and hand specialists. No workers comp for DIY busker bum tours, chappies. You just pay the dang bill. As part of my ongoing effort to never have a real job, I'm planning to go out into the parks all the same to tell fortunes and improvise poems for finger money. Can I predict the future..? Guess we'll see.

And you - have you listened to the new record yet then, eh? If you're here reading this, I reckon so. I'm doing two long-form bits here back to back - keep scrolling for my post-partum thoughts on the new baby. What a lot of luv I have for those songs. Every one I send out into the world feels like a form of life insurance.

[theblognobodyfoundlastyear]

Maybe the days really aren't that -- Okay, it is really that bad...

I'll let you in on a little secret here: We're getting older. Well, not a secret per se, but for those in the know, you'd know what I'm referring to specifically. I suppose for the general audience out there, if one still exists, you might have noticed me looking tired and/or sadder than usual. Don't be alarmed, it's nothing like that. But I do wonder whether I can truly hold onto the ideals of yesteryear, to continue goofing around "while we were young".

One might suppose it's rare to to be this introspective during one of those life stage shifts. Granted, we haven't really cared too much about making it to the next level in one piece, but this time, things are different and more than in just the usual ways. Namely: Cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, paying for various life expenses, looking after one's own health, getting private health insurance, and the works. I mean, I didn't sign up for this malarkey! If I put on my tinfoil hat, I might as well say that a certain someone has been throwing me under the bus all this time. Or, more probably, I just didn't care enough to prepare for this tectonic shift.

For some reason, I'm reminded of these poetic lines from yonder:

Everything stays right where you left it Everything stays But it still changes Ever so slightly, daily and nightly In little ways, when everything stays

And perhaps that's the way it goes: Things changing to some small, possibly even irrelevant degree. But adding up the total change over time, and you've got a transition into a new era. Is it possible to keep up with the times such that this shouldn't be a surprise? If only we'd been more risky in the sense of pursuing change (to even "seek discomfort", as one might put it), things might have turned out differently. And even now, taking a risk of that extent is now too costly. Suffice to say, you've done goofed, bucko.

Okay, so we've donked up big time, not only making the least of our "youth" but also managing to mess up every major opportunity so far. We've barely any real life skills, our finances are going down the drain just trying to stay alive these days and this is allegedly the peak of "adulthood". Well, it's only downhill from here... The optimist would always say that there's ample opportunity to get right, even when it might seem to late. I would rather think that my own unhappiness being the backbone of everyone else's joy is the only thing that's keeping the midnight oil burning these days. Of course, that could be an outright delusion of me projecting my failings onto others, but would you know any better?

Then suppose a change of heart is possible, even this late in the game: Of what value is pursuing this change? For the result would be sub-optimal compared if such an initiative were pursued earlier on, so are the gains truly worth it? Madly scrambling for one's happiness seems like such a middle-age thing to do. Almost as if we were destined to go down this long road that leads nowhere.

Not to mention, we can always double down on our poor life decisions, knowing full well we're living the sub-optimal life but always being content knowing "that's just the way it's going to be, little darlin'". To be fair, we did give that a chance (as evident on this blog, I suppose) and look where it got us: nowhere. To that end, pursuing for the things one has regrettably passed over, knowing full well that the end result will be a sub-optimal gain as well as the fact that odds are progressively stacked up against this endeavour, may very well be our saving grace in this dog-eat-dog world.

So maybe there is some hope for us after all? Don't get too optimistic, you know what we're like when it comes to actioning crucial life-changing measures (i.e. negligent).

'Til next time, young padawan.

Not surprisingly, change is amplified the older you get. So, in theory, staging all changes until the end is bound to produce the largest (positive and negative) gains, right?

#lifestyle changes #adulthood #choices

[thegoddesssekhmet]

(Warning: rape of a minor, physical and mental trauma, fear,death, and foul language)

(This is an alternate timeline taking place after endgame as such there are spoilers the point of view is entirely Steve Rogers aka Captain America this takes place in California)

I was still crying. Tony was dead, I'd finally retired from being Captain America, I was finally just a regular street cop, and Tony was dead. I heard a comforting voice "Hey, are you okay" he said, Bucky. I responded "N-not really, I can't believe he's really dead" Bucky said comforting "I know, we've all been affected" I smiled at him "thanks Bucky". Bucky said "what else am I good for" I smiled and tried to respond with "being h-" I was cut off by my radio saying "218 through 261 in the area" I,panicking, asked Bucky "where's Parker" his face turned confused then understanding than angry. He said "they're probably expecting us, I'll go first," to my face he said "no arguing you're stronger" I said "I've got a better idea, you go into the allyway opposite searching for flanking goons, I'll go save Parker" I started running, Bucky ahead of me slightly till I heard a scream. I entered the alley and was horrified. Parker's arms and legs were locked inside titanium alloy restraint gloves and boots, his street clothes in a crumpled pile told me the rapist was just prepared for the worst, the man was, oh God, he was forcing Parker on his hands and feet and was plowing him, some goons were holding knives, I sprung into action, the goons were on the floor in a second, the rapist tripping so I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that if he had gotten away this would have got messy, I arrested him picking a key from his pocket and unlocking Parker's restraints, he got dressed then said "thank you officer Rogers", I said " your we-" my heart stopped. Bang. Scream. I ran to the opposing alley saying "sorry kid be right back". I saw Bucky, bloody from beatings, the goons on the floor were all in cuffs, he was howling, shot in the abdomen. I talked to Parker and walked him home talking into my radio "kid is safe, I'm walking him home, the rapist and his buddies are in cuffs, pick them up in the alley next to King's Jewles on Sunder Street, watch for assassins, as a sniper just ran off," I breathed "the sniper shot a guy, I'm taking him to the hospital as fast as possible" Parker said to someone "Hey mind covering me, this man needs to help this guy" the man said "sure" I watched them closely, watching when they thought I couldn't see them, I breathed a sigh of relief, the man pulled out his gun and started walking Parker to the airport, presumably to take him back to New York. I ran fast, we arrived at the hospital and I said "his name is Bucky Barnes, he was shot in the abdomen, put him under my insurance" the attendant said "last name then first name please" I said "Rogers,Steve" she said "and your guy is Barnes,Bucky" I said "yes". Bucky was taken in at last. After a few days I was let in. "Hey Bucky" I said, to which he said "Steve, what are you doing here" I said "I brought you here,"going next to him I said "are you okay" he said "great,never better, I've just been shot in the fucking abdomen, after getting beaten" I said "yeah, that was a dumb question" he said "I think I've got a better one" I said "yeah". My heart was close to bursting. He said "do you love me Steve" I said, with realization, "fuck yes Bucky" he smiled "will you be my boyfriend" I said "absolutely". My heart was born anew with love. For him, for all the love I'd denied. He was out of the hospital a week later, hand in mine.I still hated what happened. I talked to him about the ordeal. We made sure Parker was safe, his aunt was understandably pissed. We were together for months till this year, our anniversary. I wanted to do something special so i rented a hotel for the two of us. I said "can I ask you a question" he said "go ahead" I asked "can I kiss you" he said "yes, absolutely, I've never wa-" I kissed him, ruffling up his hair, for hours. I was on fire with love. When we separated I said "you talk too much" he responded " you talk to little" giving me a sweet little kiss. I said "I love you" he said "I know,and I adore you" I smiled. I was finally in love.

#marvel #avengers endgame #spoilers #steve x bucky #captain america #the winter soldier #bucky barnes #steve rogers #gay #sensitive content

[shawnjacksonsbs]

I stay lookin' for the right questions. 3-25-23

“Education is discipline, it’s deferred gratification." - Kar Woo

I was in an accident.

First one in years.

First one, in even more years, where I was at the one at fault.

I can't drive my truck. Which means I can't work out of it either.

Man. . .

In the old days, this would have been severely devastating on all fronts.

Not today though. Granted, I got some struggle coming, but this is only a small set back.

My mind is right. I keep my gratitude list at the forefront.

*I feel for the young lady, although her uncle showed up, she was driving without insurance.

You could tell they were just average people trying to get by. Now since it was my fault, I'm sure their car will come out ok, but she still got a ticket for no insurance and was in an accident so . . .

I keep my gratitude list in the same pocket as my insurance card these days, and thankfully for the first vehicle ever, it has full coverage.

Deductible is slightly higher than I wish it was now, but we're going to be ok.

A little shuffling of the schedule, and hopefully a way around for a minute, and we'll be back to where we left off before I know it.

Living right really is its own reward(s).

I can still remember back when I thought people did regular, responsible people things were . . .schmucks and suckers.

God damn I was so ignorant.

Too bad we can't do better before we learn better.

There's no time to dwell on that stuff, though. I've got grown shit to do.

I will always be on the side of understanding, but I know now some conformity is necessary because I live in a society set up to watch most people fail that don't conform, at least little bit.

I don't do anything wrong these days to warrant police interaction. Don't start something, and generally there won't be something, but that doesn't mean I think police over reach isn't still an issue. I just conformed enough that I'm not in their line of sight, because head on is not the way to win that war.

And I wanna be at least moderately happy until I die. Lol

Living right carries with it, essentially the same mindset for success. Success' definition is slightly skewed for me after living here for a while as well, but it's the same bit of advice I have to heed to be ok, and stay ok.

I used to drive beaters, without insurance all the time. I used to drive after staying up for days at a time.

They're called accidents for a reason, even when I'm the one liable.

You just never know when life is gonna throw you a curve ball, so the more prepared you can try to be, the better off you probably, actually will be.

I read somewhere, something like, responsibility is when a person chooses to limit their freedom to allow others to enjoy theirs, and I must say that I really like that. It actually helps all parties because if they do it too, everybody makes it through.

I'm also one of those people, nowadays (haven't always been) to do a little more, give a little more, share some and call it extra to help pick up the slack for those around us . . .who still haven't learned that part yet.

I wish more people were available to offer a hand up when learners are ready.

Anyways, that's for another day.

I know few things in this life, but one of those things is this: I've failed and started from scratch more times than I care to count. Minor, even major setbacks, ain't holding shit over me. I may lose my footing, I may even trip, on occasion I might fall down, but I'm getting back to full feet faster than . . .fast. lol

For now, just be fucking kind, and if you're struggling just try a little harder to move in the direction you want to go, and of course look for the helpers. There are always people willing to help, even if they are outside your comfort zone.

Also, don't forget to share your love and your laughter with the world around you. I promise we're all better off because of it.

Until next time;

"You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions." - Nobel Laureate Naguib Mahfouz

Everything happen(s) (-ed) the way its supposed to. If wasn't supposed to happen like that, please go back and change it.

If you can't, I rest my case.

Call it what you want, destiny or god's will, or whatever helps you sleep at night.

Just know that if it feels uncomfortable, that's a sign, not to dwell on how it went down, but to do things differently moving forward.

Acceptance frees more than the mind.

[kelisidinaa]

The New Story of Ah Q

This is a story about my friend Ah Q. His name may remind you of the True story of Ah Q by Chinese writer Lu Xun, and yes, my friend's name does come from this story. I heard that this nickname was given to him by my friend's father. Ah Q's father is an illiterate farmer, so he has never read the original text. Ah Q's father only heard such a famous novel occasionally, and the pronunciation of Ah Q sounds very cute to him, so he started to call his son Ah Q. But Ah Q himself suffered a lot from the name when he was young. I remember Ah Q and I were still in high school at that time. One day after school, the school's exit was crowded with students and parents who had come to pick them up. His father waved and shouted "Ah Q, Ah Q, Dad is here!" When Ah Q heard his father's call, he blushed and walked through the crowd, held his father's hand and hurried away. From that day on, almost everyone in the school started calling him Ah Q, even the teachers. Ah Q hated his father for giving him such an embarrassing name. Ever since people around him started calling him Ah Q, he could feel that people would rather see him as the poor, self-abased and slightly rogue Ah Q in Lu Xun's story than as who he really was.

Fortunately, Ah Q was a forgetful man. I often feel that forgetfulness should not be seen as a shortcoming, because one often suffers from remembering too much. Ah Q got so used to his name that when he introduced himself to people he just met, he would say, "You can just call me Ah Q. Yes, yes, the same name as Ah Q from the True story of Ah Q." Some people laughed their heads off after hearing his self-introduction, and Ah Q laughed along with them. Of course Ah Q laughed not because he really liked his name, but because he realized that his name could bring so much joy to others. Ah Q was going to tell his dad that he actually thought it was a good name, but now he won't get the chance because his dad died two weeks ago.

Ah Q's mother left him soon after he was born, and it was said that his mother ran away with another man. From then on, Ah Q's father changed. Every day, he worked in the daytime and drank at home at night. Sometimes he would beat Ah Q for no reason, and sometimes he would cry with Ah Q in his arms like a child. At that time Ah Q thought that his father was a fake, and he believed that his mother took his real father with her when she left. But it doesn't matter to Ah Q whether his father is real or not now. Everything that has life will come to an end. Ah Q thought as he looked at his father lying in a coffin in the middle of the funeral home. Relatives lined up to place flowers on his father's body one by one and then nodded to him. Each of the relatives wore a sad face, and some even wiped their tears with a napkin in their hand. And the people who should cry the most didn't. Ah Q didn't even have a tear in his eye. He had never cried at anyone's funeral, not even his own father's. Although Ah Q also thought that death is a terrible thing, it is something that everyone must face without exception, so why feel sad when death comes? He believed that death was something that everyone should be prepared for from birth, to prepare for the death of loved ones and the death of oneself.

According to Chinese custom, the relatives of the deceased need to invite all the people attending the funeral to dinner. Ah Q thought it was troublesome, but it was better to follow the custom so as not to be pointed at behind his back, so he finally did it. During the banquet, a distant cousin of Ah Q walked over and sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry about your father, Ah Q. " Said the distant cousin.

"No worries."

"You don't look sad at all, do you? Your father's death wasn't a bad thing for you. It's hard to support yourself on your little salary as an insurance salesman , and now your father is dead. That's one less burden for you, isn't it? " Said the distant cousin, with a smirk on his face as he played with his car key.

Ah Q said nothing but smiled and nodded to his distant cousin. There are many such people in the world. They are a group of people who have no ego, so they like to provoke conflicts with others, and then confirm their existence in the victory of conflict again and again. What a poor man, Ah Q thought. He felt a sudden sympathy for his distant cousin. Ah Q's silence made his distant cousin angry, so he stayed for a moment and then went away disappointedly. After that, Ah Q had to deal with relatives and friends who came to talk to him, until he received a text message telling him to return immediately. After several hours on the express train, Ah Q finally arrived at his company in the city from the countryside.

When Ah Q walked into the boss's office, the boss was sitting in his seat smoking. The boss pointed to the seat in front of Ah Q and let him sit down. Ah Q bowed respectfully to his boss and patted the dust off his legs before sitting down.

"I heard you wanted to see me, boss? "

"Ah Q, did you know you only sold two policies this month? And your contract clearly states that the company has the right to fire you if you don't sell 10 policies in a month. Do you know what I mean? "

"Well… I'm fired?"

The boss touched his chin and sighed. "Ah Q, I always think highly of you. You have been working here for nearly two years. How about I give you another chance? In fact, the easiest way is to sell it to your relatives and friends. Why don't you just get one for your father?"

"I just came from my father's funeral." Ah Q said, looking the boss straight in the eye.

"Oh, forgive my damn memory. But if you had bought an insurance policy for your father earlier, wouldn't you have earned it now? Think about it, or I won't be able to keep a useless person in the company."

"I've decided."

"What? " The boss asked.

"I have decided to resign now." Ah Q raised his voice.

Ah Q bowed to the boss again and walked out slowly. His colleagues looked at him with a look of surprise, while angry noises occasionally came from the boss's office. This scene inexplicably gave Ah Q a feeling of pride in his heart, he walked out of the company like a victorious general.

On the way home Ah Q thought to himself, what should he do then? He remembered that his father had left him a piece of land in the countryside, and suddenly he felt an impulse to go back to the countryside and farm. The golden fields of wheat, the sound of insects in the night, and the memories of his childhood began to come to him. "Useless man! " he repeated in his mind what the boss had just said to him. A burst of anger arose from his heart and he kicked all the cans he saw along the road before he slowly calmed down. The anger was followed by intense silence. Before he knew it was dark and the cold wind was beating against his cheek, he suddenly realized that he was almost cut off from the world, and that the only person who could connect him to the world was his girlfriend Lee. Ah Q loved her too much, and he believed that she loved him too.

Before long, Ah Q returned to the narrow and old basement. He took off his shoes, hung his coat on a rack, and took a deep breath. "ok, Ah Q, talk to her." Ah Q said to himself, then went to the living room and hugged Lee who was watching TV.

"Did your father's funeral go well?" Lee said as she changed the channel with the remote control in her hand.

"Not bad."

"Ok."

"Well, I have something else to tell you."

"What? "

"I quit my job today."

"What! Why did you do that? " Lee finally turned to Ah Q.

"Because I didn't like it anyway."

"Sometimes people have to do things they don't want to do to make a living. Why are you still acting like a kid? Have you thought about the future? I mean our future."

"We can go back to the countryside, where my father left me a house and a piece of land. If… "

"If that's what you really decide, then let's break up. I don't want my friends to know that my boyfriend is a useless jerk."

"Useless jerk." Ah Q repeated it and then laughed. The laughter made an eerie echo in the bleak basement.

The next day, Lee had gone, and there was only one in the basement. Ah Q felt more calm than he was when he resigned, and bought a ticket to the country with his only savings. Once again, the endless wheat field began slowly in his mind.

The next day, Lee was gone. But Ah Q felt an unexpected peace of mind, then he used his last savings to buy a plane ticket to the countryside. The endless fields of wheat spread out in his mind again.

"It's another form of relief, isn't it?" Ah Q thought as he lay in bed. "There's nothing bad about living an isolated life in the countryside, as many of the world's great people do. Zhuangzi, Diogenes, Nietzsche…..countless great men. Aristotle said that 'Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.' I don't look like a beast, do I?"

[0verthinking1t]

Task Menu Recap time!

Happy Sunday! I did something similar yesterday, and I think I want to make it a thing. I want to recap how I did on my task menu and what I accomplished every evening. Looking over what I actually did in a day is refreshing, and gives me a sense of accomplishment, but let's be honest, I crave validation. It feels more real and exciting when I have someone to tell about it,even if that someone is just the empty void of the internet. So, here's my thoughts on today's menu.

First off, I accomplished a total of 12 things today!! I came SO CLOSE to beating yesterday's high score 😂 not that it matters; I'm not gunna actually compare myself to my better days, but it's fun to think of having a high score to shoot for. The list includes points like "sat on the porch", "made iced tea", "learned something new about historical clothing", and "remembered to drink water and followed through x 8", because the little things are just as important as the big ones when you can't tell the difference.

One thing I want to celebrate is that I organized one of my doom drawers! I finally sorted through my unruly drawer full of important-looking paperwork (you know, the stuff your dad says you should always keep for records, like bank statements and insurance acceptance letters for coverage you don't have any more, or last year's W2s) and miscellaneous electronic bits, and now I have a cheap accordion folder and a leftover Lego box to put them each in. I can actually see the bottom of the drawer again 😊

Other than that, I've made the observation that the majority of tasks I've accomplished for the last 3 days are green tasks, or lowest impact and shortest things. I feel so much better having a more secure handle on the basics, like daily hygiene and eating, leaving my room and making myself more comfortable, and making phonecalls and appointments. What I'm becoming aware of, though, is that above that, even just basic housework and errands are a struggle to feel prepared for. I've gotten through about 2 red level tasks a day— that is, tasks that take slightly more effort and intention, but that I can still just get up and do without planning my day around them. I want to be using my time at home more effectively and do all these organizing and cleaning projects while I have the time and energy to do them, since I feel like I don't know whether tomorrow will bring a development in my disability process or a surprise work opportunity. I'm realizing though, that the self motivation problem is deeper than I thought, and I might need input from my therapist or psychiatrist on what it really is and how to fight it. I'd like to be able to take my mirror down and Windex it, make that important phonecall about my insurance, and go for a walk in the same day. And all this isn't even taking into account the black tasks that I pretty much haven't even CONSIDERED touching within the week. I'm ignoring some pretty high priority things that will only get worse if I continue to put them off, and I want to be able to handle them.

#personal journal #mental health #time to get help #therapy #psychiartist #daily accomplishments #cleaning my room