#south park fic

[suddenlybambi]

use me ♥ kenny mccormick

pairing : kenny mccormick x vampire!reader

nsfw (smut) - minors DNI!!! - aged up characters (18+)

tags : mentions of blood, biting, blood drinking (all that usual vampire stuff iykyk) , mild praise kink, afab reader, mild sub/dom dynamics

word count : 3.1k

summary : mysterion just wants to keep the streets safe and y/n just needs to feed - he has an idea, but she refuses it until she has no other choice

masterlist

a/n - bambi stop turning men into subs challenge 💀

this isn't proof read because its 1am and i wrote this in a haze, so lemme know if you catch any mistakes please and thank you xoxo

The body crumpled to the floor of the alleyway as Y/N let go, doing her best to wipe her mouth clean of the blood. They weren’t dead, she was always able to stop herself before it went that far, but they would probably be a little woozy once they were conscious enough to get up again.

In her usual act of what she considered to be kindness, she slipped an iron supplement into their mouth, making sure they swallowed it in their half-conscious state. 

Leaning down and lifting her mask up slightly, she held their eyes open to look into them to work her literal charm. 

“You are going to forget you ever saw me; you just passed out on your way home,” She instructed. She could tell by the expression on the man’s face that it was working. They would always get this weird dopey look to them. “You are also going to drink more water because you are a bit dehydrated. Probably best to get some iron supplements for yourself while you’re at it, just for good measure.”

The person nodded, and Y/N knew her tracks were covered. Slipping her mask back down to cover her eyes, she let the man go and watched as he brushed himself off and stumbled away, wobbling a little as though he were drunk. Turning around, she began walking the opposite way down the street to return home. She would be satisfied for another week if she was lucky and didn’t over-exert herself.

“I assume the red on your lips isn’t lipstick?” Mysterion stepped out from the shadows as Y/N passed him. She knew he was there; she could smell him and hear his breathing from down the street, watching her feed. “You just couldn’t help yourself?”

“You know I don’t have a choice,” Y/N sighed, having had this conversation before on several occasions. She walked past Mysterion, but he followed her, never one to give up easily.

“I gave you a choice,” He corrected, trailing slightly behind her. “You just didn’t choose it.” 

“That was a one-time thing out of necessity,” The words were routine to her by that point. She used to bribe Chaos to distract him on the other side of town while she fed, but he had caught on to the trick. “It’s not safe.”

“What’s not safe is for you to be roaming the streets and picking people at random,” He interjected. “For the public or for you.”

“And your suggestion is any better?” Y/N stopped and turned around. Even past the mask that covered her eyes, he could see the anger brewing from the slight red tint her eyes had started to assume. “We don’t know the long-term effects it would have on either of us.”

Mysterion had been right about it not being safe for her to pick people at random. There was a time when she fed from a man on some sort of drug that she had a horrible side effect from. She thought she was finally dying, but that was when the masked hero appeared. She couldn’t explain what was happening to her, but he seemed to understand well enough to know that she needed clean blood to heal, so he offered his own. His blood was like nothing she had ever had before, it was blissfully intoxicating, and she couldn’t stop.

The next night, when she saw him again, she thanked him but said it could never happen again. While Mysterion couldn’t die, at least not for more than a day, the guilt for killing again after she had sworn not to ate at her more than the new craving for his blood.

“I thought you enjoyed experimenting?” His tone was teasing, but that just angered her more.

“Just…” She sighed, trying to calm herself down as best as possible before she really flipped out on him. She knew that was what he wanted. If she did, she’d attack him. If she attacked him, she’d end up feeding from him. It had almost happened a few weeks after the initial incident, and he’d been provoking her ever since. “Just leave me alone. I’ve been doing this for longer than you could ever imagine.” She turned around again and started to walk, but his next words stopped her after only two steps.

“376 years, right?” He phrased it as a question but said it as more of a statement. How did he know that? “That’s just if I’m going based on your death certificate. Took a lot of digging, but it was easier when I found that you were born in England.”

“Congrats, dude,” She waved her arms up a little in a mixture of disbelief and frustration. She didn’t want him to see the genuine shock. She felt that he had taken time to research her. Modern technology was amazing, but that was still a difficult thing to do. “What do you want? A prize for being a top-notch stalker?”

“If you want me gone, why don’t you just charm me away?” Mysterion had inched closer to Y/N as he spoke. She could see his eyes through his mask, his pupils blown out in the dark of the night. “Unless you can’t?”

He was right. She couldn’t. She had tried before, tried to make him forget her. She didn’t think he was aware that it had been an attempt to charm him instead of just another plea to leave her alone, but she was suspecting he knew more about her than she wanted him to.

“Stay out of my business, and I’ll stay out of yours, Kenny,” She hoped the use of his real name would throw him off his tracks enough to make an escape. She had known the moment she saw Mysterion that it was Kenny. His blood had a distinct smell that she had always picked up in class. She assumed it must have been something to do with his immortality.

Immortality did strange things to the body, she would know.

“Your business is my business when you roam these streets looking for victims,” He slowly pulled away from her, giving her some space as he looked around to make sure they hadn’t been spotted. “Let me walk you home?”

“Get fucked,” With that, Y/N jumped up and transformed into a bat, flying off over the empty streets. It was a terrible idea, but she needed to get away. It drained her energy and, subsequently, her thirst at ten times the rate as just going about her normal day, which would inevitably lead to her having to feed again within the following few days, where the entire conversation with Mysterion would repeat itself, just as it always did.

It had been too long since she last fed. 

Going to school for the first time had caught up with her unexpectedly. She lost track of time studying in the evenings. She had managed to obtain a necklace that allowed her to walk in the sun 17 years ago and that had opened up the world to her again after 350 years of living in the shadows. There was so much to learn that she had never gotten the chance to before when education wasn’t readily available, least of all for women. She relished the opportunity to learn and lost track of the days.

She hadn’t even thought about feeding until the first drop of blood from the fight between two students in the halls hit her like a tonne of bricks. She could smell it from the opposite end of the hallway.

Instinctively, she closed her eyes, knowing they would have already turned red from the thirst. The thirst was overwhelming. She needed to get out of there before she lost herself, but she couldn’t will her legs to move. The need to hunt was driving her mad.

A hand grabbed her arm while her eyes were closed. She knew from her already heightened sense of smell that got even stronger while hunting, that it was Kenny. He didn’t say anything to her, just started to drag her away. Y/N kept her eyes closed as she let him pull her through the halls, trusting him to do what was best for everyone by getting her far away from the people she could hurt. 

She didn’t know where they were going until the fresh air hit her, and she heard a car unlock. She finally felt safe enough to open her eyes, climbing into the back of Kenny’s car. The backseat had tinted windows. She had seen him get into the car on enough occasions to know that. No one would be able to see her blood-red eyes and her protruding fangs if she stayed in there.

The panic was short-lived as it resumed in full force when Kenny climbed in next to her. He needed to get away from her, and he needed to do it fast. His scent was intoxicating, and she would very quickly lose herself. She could hear his racing heart pumping blood through his veins.

“You need to leave. I haven’t-” She started to explain as fast as she could, but he interrupted her.

“You haven’t fed in 2 weeks. I know,” He finished for her. Y/N’s anger started to slowly simmer within her. He knew that, but he was still taunting her? Whatever game he was playing was a stupid and dangerous one, and he needed to stop. “I’ve kept an eye on you.”

“Stalker,” She mumbled, somewhat half-heartedly. She thought she had caught the scent of him in her yard, but she had brushed it off as her imagination. “I’ll go tonight. Just let me calm down alone for a bit, and I’ll be fine to go back in.” She emphasised the alone as much as possible.

“We’re not taking that risk,” Kenny refused, reaching over the front seat to lock the doors. She felt trapped, like a mouse in a trap, but the cheese was Kenny fucking McCormick. He may as well have been trying to serve himself up on a platter. “Just feed on me.”

“Is this fucking funny to you?” Y/N could feel how sharp her teeth had become, almost slicing open her own lip as she spoke. The thirst was unbearable. She needed Kenny to leave. “Do you get off on this or something? What is wrong with-”

He cut her off again; however, this time, it wasn’t by talking. Kenny had pulled Y/N onto him, holding her on his lap with a secure grip on her waist and stopping her from talking by planting his lips on hers with a frantic kiss. She should have pulled away. She should have lept over the driver's seat, unlocked the doors, and used what little energy she could muster to run at her super speed until she found someone she could safely feed off of.

She should have done all of that, but she didn’t.

Instead, Y/N kissed Kenny back. Her body shifted into autopilot, her hands running through his hair. It was bliss until the unthinkable happened.

Her sharpened fangs cut Kenny’s lip, and a single drop of blood hit Y/N’s tongue. Panicked, she pulled away and tried to climb off of his lap, but his hands on her waist wouldn’t allow it.

Two words were all it took to break her final thread of resolve.

“Use me,” Kenny instructed in a breathless whisper. Before either of them could truly register what was happening, Y/N’s fangs were in his neck.

Kenny let out a shaky moan as the sharp pain suddenly turned into pleasure. It was one he had sought out ever since Y/N had fed from him all those months ago. She had explained it to him once when she was telling him that she wasn’t really hurting the people she fed from because her fangs would automatically release endorphins into them. She described it as a numbing feeling, but it made Kenny feel anything but numb.

The pleasure, coupled with the soft sounds of Y/N mewling as she drank from him, let alone the added fact that she was on his lap, was enough to leave Kenny rock-hard. He couldn’t control himself as his hips bucked up against her.

His heart almost stopped when she very suddenly pulled away, the feeling of her fangs no longer in his neck and the blood draining from him left him feeling empty. Her eyes were half-lidded as she looked down at him, lips stained red from blood, and her mouth hung slightly open.

Kenny thought he had died once again and gone to heaven when she, without warning, rolled her hips against his. His cock twitched desperately in his pants, and his grip on her hips would have been bruising to anyone but a vampire.

“When I asked you if you got off on this, I didn’t realise I had hit the nail on the head,” Y/N’s voice was low and seductive. Kenny had never heard anything so sexy in his life. He wanted to hear her talk all day, every day. He tried to roll his hips up to meet hers again, but her hands snapped down to his thighs, holding him in place. “Use your words, and I’ll consider giving you what you want.”

“Touch me, fuck me, use me, please,” He begged without hesitation, knowing it was the fastest way to get what he desperately needed at that moment. “Please?”

Y/N captured him in a breathtaking kiss, he could taste his blood on her tongue as it swirled with his, but he couldn’t care less. Her hands slid up his thighs until they reached his beltline, moving at superhuman speeds to impatient get her hands on what she wanted. The zipper popped open and flung across the car as she broke it, neither of them caring for a single second.

The muscles of Kenny’s thighs twitched and spasmed as Y/N’s hand slipped down his boxers, pulling his swollen cock out. The tip was red and leaking precum. Y/N ran her thumb over it without hesitation, bringing it up to her mouth, her tongue darting out to lick it up. He caught sight of her fangs, still protruding from the rest of her teeth. She was still hungry.

“Remind me to go down on you when my mouth can be trusted,” She whispered in his ear, pressing her chest against him as she leaned in. “For now, I’m impatient. We’ll have to skip to the main event.”

“Please,” He nodded eagerly, cock twitching in anticipation. Y/N took it in her hand, pumping it a few times as more precum leaked from the tip.

“You sound so pretty when you beg,” She smirked down at him. He didn’t have time to register what had happened before she sunk down onto him in one swift move. He hadn’t seen her remove her underwear. He didn’t know if she had done it at super speed without him seeing (though the panties were nowhere in his car to support that theory) or if she just hadn’t been wearing them in the first place. The latter drove him crazier than he already felt.

Just as she sunk down onto him, her teeth sunk back into his neck. Kenny was the most delicious meal Y/N had ever had, and she couldn’t help herself from going in for seconds.

Painfully slowly for Kenny, she lifted herself up and down on him. She kept a tortuous speed, her strength stopping his desperate attempts at thrusting up into her.

Reaching for his hands, she pried them off of her hips, slipping one up her shirt and under her bra to fondle her breasts and manoeuvring the other so his fingertips brushed up against her clit. He took the hint instantly, switching between each breast with his left hand to make sure they both received adequate attention and rolling her nipples in between his fingers, revelling in the louder moans that his neck was barely muffling as she fed from him.

His right hand slowly circled her clit, starting slow at first but speeding up as soon as she picked up the pace, sliding herself up and down on him. He felt whenever he hit her g-spot as her walls would clench around him, causing him to repeatedly hit it as the pleasure became unbearable.

“So close,” He managed to choke out, his movements becoming slightly sloppy as he started to lose himself. Y/N pulled her fangs from his neck, lifting her head just slightly so she could whisper in his ear.

“Cum for me,” He did so instantly, a loud moan escaping his throat, his head tilting back as he filled her up. He felt her walls clamp around his dick as she reached her own peak, her eyes rolling back slightly.

When she looked back at him, her eyes had returned to their natural colour, and her teeth had once again dulled down. He was completely struck by her beauty but struggled to keep his eyes open to admire her as he felt woozy from the blood loss. He heard her curse as his eyes drooped closed, his head lulling to the side.

Kenny wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he woke up to Y/N curled up against his side in the backseat of his car. She appeared to have done her best to clean him and herself up while he was passed out, but since she had broken his zipper in the heat of the moment, his jeans were still open.

He stretched a little as he woke up, Y/N lifted her head to look at him, and he could see relief flooding her face.

“I was worried I had taken too much,” She sighed a breath of relief, a hand reaching up to cradle his face. She intently examined his eyes, looking for confirmation that he was okay. “I’m so sorry; I lost control.” Kenny pulled her in for a kiss, far sweeter than the passion-filled ones they had shared earlier.

“I’m immortal, remember?” He reminded her softly as they pulled away. “You can’t kill me for long.”

“But we don’t-” She was about to protest again about how they didn’t know what would happen to either of them if she continued to drink his blood since he wasn’t a normal human, but one look at the pure adoration in his eyes stopped her in her tracks. “You should have just told me that was what you had in mind when you said you wanted to experiment. We could have been doing that for months.”

“Well…” Kenny grinned as the words processed in his mind, the implications clear as day. “We have an eternity left to catch up on missed time.”

#south park fanfiction #south park fic #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mccormick smut #mysterion x reader #mysterion smut #vampire!reader #south park smut #sp kenny #sp kenny smut

[cloudy-skyes]

General Main 4 Headcanons

Notes: Hi Harleyy <33 Sorry I accidentally lost your actual request (thank god i screenshotted it) Thank you for the request :)

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, smoking (Kenny)

Relationship: Established romantic relationship

Gender: Gender neutral, no pronouns mentioned

Kyle:

Not only is Kyle an amazing boyfriend, he’s also an amazing study buddy with you. If you’re struggling with homework or you have an upcoming test, you two will have a study date at one of your houses.

These dates often include you being held in his lap, while he points at homework/test questions and explains them to you.

Breaks are always important in studying though!! So when you two get sick of studying, you have cuddle sessions where you calmly run your fingers through his curly hair.

Speaking of his hair, he secretly LOVES it when you play with his hair. Kyle won’t let anyone else touch it but you. It’s just something about your touch that is so relaxing to him.

He is SUCH a gentleman. He’s the type to hold doors open for you, pull seats out for you, and other acts of service. He likes holding your hand in his own hands and kissing your knuckles. It’s a little bit cliche but it still makes you feel so loved.

Kyle adores it when you get along with his little brother, Ike. He’s such a family oriented person, so seeing you play with Ike makes his heart flutter with adoration. Ike totally acted like Kyle’s wingman before you and Kyle started dating too.

Kyle tends to have a short temper, especially with Cartman. He looks to you as a source of serenity when he needs to calm down. I swear if you just hold him and give him a kiss it soothes him right away.

Kyle also has some abandonment issues because of his history with failed relationships. Please just reassure him every now and then that you love him, he loves you too <3

Stan:

First off, Stan is absolutely head over heels for you. He loves being around you. He’s practically living at your house at this point, he’d rather be with you than at the farm with his dad.

Stan does struggle with depression, and goes through depressive episodes pretty often. You know it isn’t your responsibility to care for him, you do anyways. He always tries his best for you so you return the favor by being there for him.

This includes SOO many cuddle sessions. When he’s cradled in your arms, one wrapped around his torso and the other gently holding his head in your shoulder, he feels much better.

Stan also plays the guitar, he often brings his guitar over to your house and plays songs for you. Sometimes he’ll even have you sit on his lap, his guitar on your own, and guide your hands with his to learn to play the guitar :)

He’s also a HORRIBLE texter. It’s a little bit ironic because he shows his affection to you constantly in person, but this guy cannot get any more dry over text with you. That’s why he prefers to hang out in person anyways.

Stan has gotten better with his vomiting issues over the years, but he still struggles to hold back nausea when he’s with you. He’s just so overwhelmed with how much he loves you that he can’t help it.

Despite the fact that Stan cannot stand his dad, Randy ADORES you. His son? Got a girlfriend?? He tries so hard to be friends with you (and sell you weed). Stan always tries to get his dad to knock it off, ashamed by Randy’s antics, but Randy doesn’t really care. Even though Stan’s dad is super overbearing, at least you’re always welcome at the Marsh house.

Kenny:

I’m sure we’re all aware of this by now, but Kenny is SUCH a flirt. Even before you two were together he was constantly dropping flirty and suggestive lines on you.

Occasionally, when you and Kenny are hanging out with other friends, he’ll lean into you and whisper the most suggestive shit into your ear and then continue to act like he never said anything to you.

Kenny is also very physically affectionate, when he’s with you he’s always touching you, but he’s usually just holding your hand. He probably does that thing where he swings his arm back and forth while walking and holding your hand and it’s really cute.

Like Stan, Kenny is with you most of the time. He loves you so much and he literally cannot get himself away from you. He finds himself often escaping his shitty home life to go hang out with you.

You and Kenny also become smoke buddies. Usually when you’re over at his house you chill in his room and share a joint, and talk about whatever comes to your mind. He thinks it’s so fun to get high with you.

But when you’re not in his room smoking, you find yourself playing with Karen. Karen sees you as an older sister figure and looks up to you so much. Kenny is so protective over Karen, so when he sees you two doing something cute like playing dolls, he knows he found the best s/o he could possibly have.

Kenny is really generous, and although he’s poor, he does his best to spoil you. He still works at City Wok, and he uses his extra money to get both you and Karen gifts. Besides physical affection, this is one of his biggest ways to show his love for you :)

Cartman:

Your relationship with Cartman is the type where both of you can insult and bully each other as a form of affection. Sometimes it sounds so real that others are unsure if you love or hate each other, but you two both know well that it’s the first option.

Cartman will hit you with an insult, and you return one right back to him. Maybe that’s why you two are so close? Since you can tolerate Cartman’s crude humor and behavior and reciprocate it right back to him he fell for you.

Nobody really has ever enjoyed being bothered by him except you. Cartman LOVES anyone who understands his humor and plays along with his banter, especially when other people like Kyle or Butters are involved.

Cartman takes you out to KFC and other restaurants on the regular. One time he even convinced his mom to buy tickets for the both of you to go to Casa Bonita. That date was definitely one of his favorites with you.

You’re good at calming Cartman down when his anger issues get out of hand. When he starts taking arguments with his classmates too far, you’re there to help cool him down. You’re often his source of sense when he’s too upset to think clearly.

If you ever give Cartman any gifts, no matter what it is, he will always keep it around. He’ll treasure it as much as he treasured his stuffed animals from elementary school. He’d have a shelf of his bookcase dedicated to things you’ve made for him or gave him, and he thinks of them very fondly.

His mom is surprised that Cartman found someone he gets along so well with, and you manage to keep his temper in check better than anyone else has. She loves having you around, you treat her and her son so kindly after all.

#south park x reader #south park fic #kyle x reader #kenny x reader #stan x reader #cartman x reader #south park #i love writing headcanons

[mayoslaise]

Hey pookie wookies so basically this is my first ever post and I kinda like decided to make some South Park stuff bc it’s my favorite anime

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧!

It may take a while for me to fulfill requests so please be patient! You can request as many times as you want but it won’t make me write any faster

Please be as specific as possible for requests so that you can get what you want from the story

🪴—𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞:

Smut = 🪷

Lime = 🌴

Angst = 🥀

Fluff = ☁️

Headcanons = 🌸

Drabbles = 🌺

Polyamorous = 🌹

LGBTQIA+ = 🪻

Character x reader = 🪸

🪴—𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫:

South Park

Bungo Stray dogs (no manga)

The outsiders

Jujutsu Kaisen (no manga or season 2 yet)

Hunter x Hunter

Death note

Demon Slayer (no manga or season 3 yet)

Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun (no manga)

Sk8 the Infinity

Tokyo Revengers (no manga or season 2 yet)

🌑—𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞:

Any form of insest

Rape

Sexual assault

Zoophile stuff

Non con

Pedophilia 

Smut with minors

Character x character

Race headcanons (except for black)

Enjoy my cat drinking water

#tweek tweak x reader #post covid kenny x reader #pc kenny x reader #creek x reader #craig x reader #kenny #south park #south park fic #stan x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #platonic butters x reader #butters x reader #kenny x reader #eric cartman #fanfic #kenny mccormick #kyle brovlofski #wendy testaburger #post covid kyle #sp post covid #south park post covid #post covid stan #south park kenny #cartman #heidi turner #bungou stray dogs #jujustsu kaisen x reader #sk8 the infinity #MayoSlaise #demon slayer

[pekejscatbed]

Use my Body, Make it Yours | Randy Marsh x GN! Reader

Info/Warning(s):

Gender-neutral Reader, soft dom! bottom! Reader, sub! top! Randy, soft smut, Randy cries a little when he cums, no orgasm for reader, Randy is high

south park masterlist

---

Randy whines as you push yourself down onto his cock, your heat swallowing his thick cock whole, the weed in his system making the experience all the more pleasurable for him. You grind down onto him, smiling softy as his grip on your hips tighten and his perfectly manicured nails dig into your skin, before he pulls his hands away, worried he might accidently hurt you.

"Go on, baby," your voice is sweet as you put his hands back on your body, "you won't hurt me."

He hesitates for a second, then does as you say, trusting you to know your limits.

"Good boy, Randy."

You enforce your praise by pulling yourself off his cock before sinking back down.

"So good me for, yeah?"

Randy nods and leans up for a kiss, to which you meet him halfway, pressing your lips against his with such a softness, he swears he melts into your touch.

When you pull away, Randy whines. Chuckling, you lightly ruffle his greasy, straight black hair with a promise of something more, something better than a kiss. Then, you push up again, one hand bracing yourself again Randy's hairy chest. You ride him slowly, teasingly, taking in every little sound Randy lets out with pride; he's like putty in your hands, groaning and whining with every move you make, getting closer to his orgasm every time your drop back down onto his cock.

"You close, Ran?"

You ask when he twitches inside of you; he nods.

"You wanna cum for me, baby?"

You fuck yourself onto him with every word and he whines again, high and needy.

"Mhm! 'M close! Please, can I cum?"

You nod, continuing to ride him even as he cums, helping him through his orgasm. Small tears sting the corners of Randy's red-tinged eyes as he cums, filling the condom he's wearing with his seed.

When he's done, you kiss away his tears with a smile and push yourself off of him to take of the condom. You tie it and throw it away before you lay down next to him. You pull Randy into your chest and play with his hair, almost lulling him to sleep.

"What about you?"

You have to stop yourself from jumping at his voice, having been convinced he'd been asleep.

"It's alright, baby," you promise him with a smile and a gentle kiss to his hair, "tonight was all about you."

He hums at your words, nuzzling into your chest with content. "Love you."

"I love you, too, Randy." You smile when you feel him press his lips to your skin, right above where your heart is.

He falls asleep in your arms.

#randy marsh x reader #randy marsh #South Park #gender neutral reader #gn reader #x gn reader #x reader #smut #soft smut #smut fic #south park fic #Kenny Writes Shit

[sansxfuckyou]

Compact Confessional

Summary: Mysterion is holding something from the rest of the Freedom Pals. They should respect his privacy, they really should- but they only take it as a challenge.

Warnings: Suggestive themes, privacy breach, betrayal of trust, swearing, feral behavior (in Kite), the authors attempt at humor, heavy guilt, interrogation, it gets worse but then it gets better guys, I promise

Authors Note: hurgh K2, with the additional flavor of kitesterion because I went batshit over the AU to an insane degree. I have no clue when the Ao3 port is dropping. Sorry if some of the colored text, isnt colored. And fair warning, this badboy levels around 10K words, tumblr starts to lag around 7.5K for anyone curious. it is almost 3 AM (do artists ever stay up insanely late to finish big projects and get so sleepy they forget the hotkey for the eraser tool? I wouldn't know, but somewhere along the line I kept trying to write segue way with a Q because I was fucking disoriented) I need to go to sleep right the fuck now

Mysterion is keeping something from the Freedom Pals, he's keeping something from all of them. Maybe if he was willing to talk about it with someone everyone wouldn't find it so intriguing. Maybe then everyone wouldn't want to know what it is that's so fucking important that no one is allowed to know about it.

Super Craig tries to act like it's nothing super big, aware that if everybody paid no mind to it that it might come out faster. Tupperware followed suite with the idea, Wonder Tweek tagging in as well. Other members of their franchise were a lot less… subtle, about their interest in Mysterions secret, whatever it is. The Coon is practically begging him every single day to tell him what it is, Call Girl even joins in. Toolshed is pretty sure the both of them are just making things worse it they want Mysterion to come clean.

Human Kite is the only one that refuses to meddle at all, even Doctor Timothy has tried getting a peek in Mysterions mind. The alien is the only one that sits there and listens to him bitch about how annoying they are. The only one that pauses to look and listen and take in every visual and audible cue because that's what he's known to do since he first landed way back when. It tells him a lot about his teammates if nothing else.

Still.

Mysterion- no, Kenny McCormick is hiding something from his friends. And given the fact that it's barely coming out even when he's in a state of delirium or terribly wounded, it must be something big.

It's starting to piss off Kyle a little bit.

-/-/-/-

"Thanks for letting me hang out for a bit man," Kenny said as he pulled on his orange parka. He opted to leave his bleached cargo shorts and purple everything else in a pile on Kyles bedroom floor. It was easy to do that when the alien offered to wash them, "Chilling with Cartman all the time definitely does not do wonders for ones mental health."

Kyle gives a laugh, the kind that leaves teeth too sharp on full display. "Totally, I swear to fuck that asshole needs therapy," He stills his tail from wagging like he's a little kid, except, when he was a little kid he tied his tail up so it wouldn't be exposed in an all too human world. An extremely uncaring world for anything different then what they know as normalcy.

"He needs so much therapy," Kenny answered with, "See you tomorrow?"

"On our patrol, I'll make sure your suit is washed," Kyle said, throwing an arm to the side, an invitation for a hug. He wouldn't be sad if Kenny didn't take it, but he still can't help the way his heart skips several beats when he gets one. An anchoring tightness enveloping him, squeezing a comfortable amount on his rib cage that would hurt if he was human.

"Thanks Kyle," Kenny said quietly, head propped near Kyles shoulder but not quite tall enough to rest it on top. He pushes himself on his tippy toes to press the top of his head to the bottom of Kyles chin. He takes a dramatic step back and maybe Kyles tail is swaying a little bit with a silky soft comfort residing on his skin. He clasps his hands together, "Tomorrow."

"Yeah man, see you then," Kyle said, the instant he realized his tail was doing the thing he stilled it entirely. He felt a slight singe of cyan embarrassment. Stupid alien anatomy. Giving away how he feels.

Kenny pivots on his heel and gives a wave, "See ya man!" His steps are light and Kyle is watching with maybe a little bit too much intent.

He has zero legal rights to do so, but emotional and psychological rights? He has plenty. The first one being that he might've imprinted on Kenny the second his family landed on earth. He might've latched onto both Mysterion and Kenny like an orphan duckling in his childhood era of existing- so much so that he couldn't help the absolute giddiness when he learned they were the same. Maybe he got a little bit too attached to Kenny compared to everyone else in a human sense. But in an alien sense, in his instinctual sense, he was the perfect amount of attached considering how he thought of Kenny.

The second reason he stared was because Kenny had an undeniably amazing ass. That wasn't just personal opinion either, they held a vote after a particularly odd argument in the Freedom Pals lair. Kenny won by an absolute fucking landslide in the votes and voter fraud having taken place can't be confirmed or denied by anyone.

Except for Doctor Timothy of course.

And if there is a god, Kyle is praying everyday that the human one makes sure that Doctor Timothy doesn't look into the legitimacy of the votes.

Kyle barely drags himself back from his thoughts, he's been told he can get lost in them sometimes. His tail is wagging again, the multicolored diamond-like frills undulate a little bit. He swings the front door shut reluctantly when he can't see Kenny anymore. He tugs off his gloves and tosses them in a pile alongside his hat, letting the splotchy cyan coloration of his skin show. He makes his way up to his bedroom, but he finds his impossibly human little brother standing in his doorway.

"Ike, get out of the way," Kyle said sternly, giving a bit of a growl under his voice. His adoptive brother just quirks a brow in that annoying manner he learned from the humans.

Ike clears his throat, "No."

"Well why not?" Kyle questioned, growl snuffed and replaced with something louder and more resonant, it vibrated in his brothers flesh. It was something that Ike long since lost the ability to be intimidated by.

"When are you gonna stop inviting over your little posse of partners eh?" Ike asked, crossing one arm over the other. His tone was nothing but accusatory, Kyle saw through it.

"Are you jealous?" Came Kyles instant reaction.

"No," Ike responded with far too fast to be true.

"I'll play some video games with you on Thursday," Kyle offered.

Ike moved out of the way, "Enjoy wallowing in your disgusting room bud."

Kyle ignored him with nothing more than an eye roll, he made a point of slamming his door shut. He kicked aside a small heap of whatever, a mix of something or other he'd been intending to clean up. He gently picks up a small stack of comics Kenny had lent him and places them on his desk. Right beside the Mysterion charm. And the Mysterion action figure. And the other pieces of shitty Mysterion merchandise he had bought.

Okay, yeah, maybe he had a little bit too much Mysterion merchandise. He was just trying to put some extra cash into Kenny's pocket for when money is tight around the house. He just wanted to make sure his best friend was living a decent life, it wouldn't be enough to give him the life Kyle knew Kenny deserved, but it would help.

He takes hold of Kennys outfit and empties the contents of the pockets into a small bin. Loose change, granola bar wrappers, pocket knife, lock pick, the usual stuff he carried around for hero duties and then some. Kyle shakes the hood loose of any twigs or leaves and something large enough to clatter as it hits the metal netting of the bin falls out. His pointed ear gives a flick at the noise, he's dropping to the ground and pulling it out in a second.

He's completely enveloped in the mystery of what was hidden in Kennys hood because A: fucking genius hiding spot, and B: this could be what Kenny was hiding. It could be exactly what Kenny was trying so hard to keep under the radar, what he successfully kept hidden from everyone's prying eyes.

He came up with a tape, jet black, scratched plastic and a cracked see through window bit. There are silver markings across the black, seemingly unpredictable and laid out with either sharpie ink or a paint pen. The paper label is coffee stained and reads the date, recorded last month (why it's still on Kennys person is odd). The log number is left blank, presumably stated in the recording.

It was a jackpot and somewhere in the back of Kyles mind he knew he should ignore it. He knew this was shattering every rule in the book and that he'd be shattering his friendship with Kenny, Mysterion and Human Kite would probably stop being a dynamic duo at that.

But, he needed to know.

He absolutely fucking needed to know.

He wouldn't dare speak it too anyone ever, and he'd return it to the hood right afterwards. He wouldn't even tell Kenny that he listened to it, he'd just sleep at night knowing exactly what Kennys secret is. And that would be more than good enough for Kyle, he wouldn't need anything else.

He reaches blindly for his cassette player, the one he's held onto since he was young. One of his earliest earthly possessions, one he still cherished and used every day. He popped out the cassette already inside and gently placed the pilfered audio into it. He eagerly grabs his earbuds before pressing play.

Professor Chaos is pretty fucking sure doing this shit is helping out my mental state or whatever He doesn't know what he's dealing with He doesn't know that he's playing with fire trying to get me to spill my guts on his fancy therapy chair But, here I am, sitting on top of the police station fully decked out in my Mysterion persona just chatting it up with myself again

I already know exactly what the problem here is Chaos, the center of this massive shitfuck that even paid therapy couldn't fix!

I've probably said that a million times in every one of these stupid fucking recordings... shit I forgot to do that log date ha!

Ahem, log three, topic. Whatever comes out of my fucking mouth.

Kyle presses pause hesitantly.

Oh god.

This is an audio diary, just for spilling Kennys guts.

And he's listening to it.

He should stop. He really, truly, should.

But he doesn't.

Instead he presses play.

Where were we? Right, right, just saying whatever shit that comes to my mind . . . I'm pretty sure that Kyle thinks I can't see him stare at me whenever I fucking bend over or walk away I'm not complaining, I'm flattered really But jeez man just say it outright if you think I have a hot ass

The pause button is slammed this time.

Kyles face is burning up because Kenny knew apparently, he knew that Kyle stared at him at every chance he gets. He feels his stomach twist a bit because oh man, he got caught staring and Kenny didn't even mention. The usage of 'you' makes Kyle feel even more called out on the matter.

He could drop out now, maybe that's the secret, that Kenny knows he stares. He could sleep at night saying that's the thing he's keeping hidden.

I can't talk much if you put everything into consideration But still! Human Kite himself staring at my ass . . . That's fucking awesome if I'm being honest I would hope I'm being honest cause who else is gonna listen to the truth aside from this stupid tape

Like, I'm just doing whatever and I can feel it He is staring holes into me, somedays it's like he's hitting me with those fucking laser eyes! That'd be hilarious actually One second I'm loading a dishwasher and the next my ass is on fire because he couldn't help but stare The Coon would be laughing about that till he's dead

So would Toolshed

And Call Girl

And Mosquito

We'd all get a good laugh out of it

Except for Human Kite

I think he would die of embarrassment if he lit my ass on fire It'd be adorable Bright blue face, ears drooping the slightest bit, maybe his tail would do something I don't know He'd probably say sorry a lot All I know is that after I'm done putting out the fire I'd say "it's fine!" And then I'd think about how cute he looks for weeks on end

Fuck he's absolutely amazing in every sense of the word God, I'm supposed to use these to rant about my shitty family Not gush about my partner in heroics . Oh well

He's perfect! I swear on my mothers grave he is everything That grin he gets whenever he's about to blow someone sky high I can see almost all of his fangs when he does it, which are fucking scary by the way But I'll be damned if it isn't a little bit hot to think about He could kill me and I'll love him He could do absolutely anything to me and I'd still want him so fucking much

And!

And, and, and There's this little thing he does whenever he gets happy Where the weird bits on his tail like, shake? They move, his tail also wags But the frills don't move unless he's actually happy He can fake the wag but he can't fake the frills moving

It's so fucking cute and weird and different I love it

Anyways! This is South Parks number one worst superhero coming to you live from the top of the police station!

. . .

Shit I think someone heard me

Kyle is paralyzed as the tape ends, letting every single word soak into his brain. His tail is doing the thing, it's wagging. Every nerve in his body is alight and he feels his stomach twisting into knots. His claws are digging into the plastic of the tape player as he just stares. His eyes end up resting on his desk, his laptop, with all of his external attachments.

There's a rush to his movements as he grabs it and the oddest, most useless, thing he owns. A reverse recorder of sorts, a simple thing he crafted but never thought he'd have a chance to use. He flips open the top and jams the plug into it's socket before sliding the cassette as gently as possible into the gadget. He should not be doing this, he really shouldn't be doing this.

But he can't keep the cassette to keep hold of the audio, he needs too extract it if he ever wants to hear it again. Which is wrong, and bad, and he absolutely needs to stop but he isn't. He's clicking 'extract' and watching that loading bar fill up gratingly slow.

He places down his laptop gently and balls up the fabrics before leaving. There's a twist of wrong in his gut, but he ignores it as he swings open the washing machine door. He knows how fucking wretched this is, that he'll be absolutely ruined if anyone finds out. He won't be able to live down the shame of having anyone catch word that he knows the secret. That he knows what it is that's keeping Kenny wound up so tightly.

He'll just keep his mouth shut.

Real easy.

Real simple.

-/-/-/-

Kyle might be abusing the knowledge he garnered from the tape, maybe a little bit. He might be curling up next Kenny a little bit more than often, hunched under a flowing purple cape like a cougar despite the height difference. Just maybe he's resting his head atop Kenny's a little bit more than usual, purring a little bit louder whenever he comes into contact with Kenny.

He really doesn't care though, maybe there's a twisted sense of catharsis he gets from the knowledge that yes, it's reciprocated, despite doing nothing to change it. Being awkward homies acting like there's nothing going on below the surface is entirely acceptable and everything that he's wanted from Kenny the second his family landed. Definitely. Absolutely. He didn't imprint. He absolutely did not imprint. He killed off that instinct way back in fourth grade.

Right after he met Kenny.

One second too late. And he is one hundred percent sure everyone in his family can see it, even Ike! Except, the little shit will hold it over him if he gets a chance. Taunting and teasing that Kyle imprinted on his best friend instead of literally anyone else. Of course, the asshole knows better what with every member of his family sporting claws made to rend flesh.

"Kyle!"

The Broflovski perks up a bit at his name being called. Stan sits down across from him, sliding his safety glasses off as he does so.

"You good man?" Stan asked, Kyle nodded.

"I'm great, amazing even," Kyle said, he gestured vaguely as he spoke.

Stan stayed silent for a moment.

Kyle heaved a heavy sigh, "I think I fucked up the first day I landed."

"That was years ago, and just now it's affecting you?" Stan asked. He kicked up his feet to rest on the table.

"Yeah, and Kenny's sort of being an ass. He can trust us, he can trust us more than anyone else in this fucking town!" There's an exasperated exhale as he comes down from the near shout, "How come he's not telling us?"

Stan shrugged, "That's his business, if he doesn't want to tell us, just respect that."

"But-"

"Respect it," Stan pressed, "He might fess up to you first if you just give him time."

"I doubt it," Kyle muttered, barely loud enough for Stan to hear. His tail is snaking around his waist tightly. Tight enough he can feel it sting just a bit.

"Dude. Firstly, calm down," Stan said, Kyle glared at him. The ravenette simply gestured to the prehensile appendage squeezing the air from Kyle's lungs. He drops it, "Secondly, you're his best friend. If he's telling anyone it'll be you."

Kyle gave a hesitant nod, "Yeah, that makes sense."

Stan gave him a grin, comforting, grounding. He dropped down his feet and leaned over the table, holding out a hand. Kyle placed his atop Stan's, his hand was larger. Cyan tinted fingertips tapping along an open palm, "It's fine man, he'll tell us soon enough. It's not like he can keep a secret forever."

"No, you're right man. He can't keep a secret from us forever," Kyle said, a small grin on his face as Stan tightened his grip.

"Now stop stressing so much," Stan said, "Go get some calamari or whatever."

-/-/-/-

Kyle finds the next tape in a vent on top of Unplanned Parenthood while he's on a mission. He's quick to slide it into his pocket before Mysterion can notice. He can't just, jeopardize this discovery, he isn't even sure if he can call it a discovery if he's sure of what it is.

A shoulder collides with him and he stumbles just a bit. His arms are quick to push Mysterion right back up again. There's a crack down his lips and he looks to Kyle, "Get your head in the game, Kite!"

A blast of something or other comes straight at them and there's a brief second of hesitation before Mysterion is tossed out of the way and Kyle is ducking. The blonde is easily caught again and placed down, "Gladly," He takes Mysterion's hand, "Show me how?"

There's a smirk, bone chilling to many but it only makes Kyle's stomach flutter. Mysterion tightens his grip briefly, "Let's go then."

He's quick to launch Kyle forward with a running start, the alien tackling down whichever thug is on them now. Claws detract and tear through silver hued gloves as he snarls, easily dwarfing the goon. They're shaking as Kyle bares his fangs, tail thrashing about and body hunched in a predatory stance. Is he snarling? He is, he's proud of it too as he brings himself to be face to face.

He rears back on his knees, clawed hand raised and ready to slash. He goes to tear open their throat, but a grasp at the back of his collar prevents him. It short circuits him a little bit as the fabric of gloves press against cool skin.

"My friend here isn't exactly human," Mysterion said calmly as he released Kyle's costume. He stayed still and glanced up to Mysterion.

There's a shaky nod from the thug.

"Now, you have two options," Mysterion said. His tongue briefly slid between lips to capture the blood seeping from the crack. He circled around the dropped person a bit more, "Number one, you leave. You run to Canada, and never bother us again."

No response.

"Number two, Human Kite kills you. Right here," Mysterion snaps his fingers and as practiced Kyle gnashes his fangs with a growl, "Right now."

"I'll run! I'll leave!" The convict practically screamed.

"Fine, Kite?" Mysterion said. Claws come down atop the goons eye, deep enough to scar and maybe to go blind in one eye. Kyle stands up, red contrasting the cyan of his fingertips, he watches them run and revels in it.

Once they're far off, darting down staircases and running through the streets, does Mysterion take a seat. He drops down on the roof and Kyle takes a seat beside him, frilled tail wrapping around Mysterion's waist. A hand comes to push back the hood and he leans his head on Kyle's shoulder.

"Dude, being a hero is so sucky," Kenny said with a light laugh, "I just wanna get killed sometimes."

Kyle gives a hum.

"I just come back anyways, but we seriously haven't faced anyone actually dangerous in years," Kenny said, gesturing vaguely as he spoke to drive in the point.

"Definitely," Kyle said, Kenny dropped down onto his back. Kyle leans back to meet him in eye contact.

"I miss when this shit was fun," Kenny said, a sigh on his voice as he spoke.

"I think that most of us do," Kyle answered with. His tongue, forked, flickered out for a brief second.

"You're just like a snake man," Kenny said.

Cyan rose to Kyle's face, "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Like, your tongue. It looks like a snakes, forked," Kenny said, he did the spock thing with his hands as if to display forked. He stuck out his tongue at the same time, "It's really fucking cool. You got some scales right? And those weird little ridges on your back? All of those are snake-y things, Kyle."

"Yeah, cause I'm a freakish little dude," Kyle said extravagantly, as if to make his point he gave a set jazz hands, gloves off to expose to smallest bit of cyan webbing. He sticks out his tongue between too sharp teeth, "Absolutely monstrous."

"I'd hardly say 'little' is the word for you, ya six foot monster," Kenny taunted back, "And I love ya for that man."

Kyle barely beats down the intensifying flush on his face, "Well, won't stop me from being at least a little bit snake like. It's more fun to be a weird creature than a human anyways," He drops down and nudges Kenny's shoulder with his head until he sits up and nudges off the silvery cape. A hand rests in a tangle of red curls for a brief moment before the alien curls around Kenny's back.

"You're also very... Cat. Very feline. Very not human," Kenny said, words teasing but loving nonetheless.

He rested his hand on top of Kyle's head, gently sifting through a sea of red. He leaned back on his friends torso a little bit as he brought a second hand to run through Kyle's hair. He shifted around a bit to rest almost on his knees, facing Kyle just a bit more. His side pressed to Kyle's lower rib cage, his hands didn't leave the redheads hair for a second. He slid down his friends face just a bit, callused thumbs briefly brushing over the ever sensitive auricle fins he had. Were they fins? Not quite, just cyan flares at the base of pointed ears.

He let his fingers scritch just past the back of Kyle's ears, resting atop the buzzed patch of hair. Olive green eyes fluttered shut as Kenny just rubbed right there, the sweet spot. He slumps into Kenny's hands, chin resting at the heel of his palm (he can't see the gentle smile on Kenny's face).

The blonde nearly explodes when Kyle starts to purr. It starts soft, but it slowly grows, shaking Kenny down to his core with his side pressed against Kyle's diaphragm. Or his lungs. Or his whatever it is that makes that wonderful rumbling sound giving Kenny enough serotonin to live forever. He already will, but this is making that eternity sound a lot more bearable. Then he hears a thudding- three, soft thumps before it resets and happens again. His tail is wagging, Kyle really likes being scratched behind the ears apparently.

Kenny's pretty sure he's falling asleep with the pads of his finger, despite being rough and scratchy, gently rubbing behind his ears. He lifts his fingers for a second too long and Kyle opens up his eyes, "Why'd you stop?" He sounds groggy and disappointed, he stops purring.

Kenny picks up the motions, "You were falling asleep," He tosses his cape over Kyle's form.

Kyle lazily blinks, one eye, then the other. He shrugs the best he can, "And?"

"Good point," Kenny said on a hum as he twirls a finger through curls, a light tug.

Kyle's tail starts to thud again and he's sure the afterglow of this will never fade.

-/-/-/-

Kyle's feeling a little bit guilty about tuning into this tape.

Not nearly enough to make him stop though.

He drops down on his bed comfortably, he doesn't even bother to put in his earbuds. His parents are out for the weekend, his brother is at Kenny's to hang out with Karen, presumably fishing. He knows that he's bound to get a call from Ike sometime in the night for a ride, for Ike, Karen, and maybe even Kenny if it's really rough. But, he'll have enough time to listen to the entirety of it.

He presses play.

I think shits getting worse I'm not using these things properly I should be using these for literally anything else! I could talk about how much I worry about my sister, or my money problems, or whatever!

But I'm still using these tapes for just a few little things

Mostly talking about Kite Not gonna use his actual name this time cause someone heard me last week I'm pretty sure I ran them out of town For good

Do I feel bad about that?

Absolutely not

Gotta protect a mans privacy, even if that means blood and intimidation Which uh, I swear it didn't involve blood This time at least

Now, log number... nine? I'm pretty sure this is number nine I would go back and check 'em all out again, but I lost one of them No clue where the little fucker went But it's gone

Kyle pauses the tape. There's missing ones- he needs to find it before Kenny does. He can just put it back later, like he'll do with this one after he's done thoroughly listening to it. He put back the last one, slid it back into the hidden pocket and acted like it never happened.

Of course, since then he's always checked the hidden pocket whenever he got a chance to do so. But, he's been unlucky in terms of finding any up until this one which leaves him with the idea that the rest have been planted around town. He shuts off his rampant train of thought- he is not going to try and sleuth out all of the tapes. He still has some respect for Kenny's privacy, he still has some intention to keep their friendship intact, and most importantly, he still has full intention of never acting on any of what he hears in said tapes.

That would give away that he's been listening to them, a risk he can't take. He clicks the button again.

Look, I always knew Kite was a weird one Everyone does The guys alien, so we cut him some slack on human things that go mostly unspoken

Conversational subtext, call frequency, having beer on ice- simple shit

And in turn, we also try to learn a bit about his species culture I don't even know if species is the right word Does that make me racist? Are aliens even a race to be racist against? Could I even discriminate if only... Three, exist on earth?

So many questions, so little time

Of course, there isn't exactly a lot about his kind I doubt there's a lot of his kind His mom keeps making quips about how all of them would come to earth if it was easier to integrate But honestly? If you just got rid of the alien extremities I would not be able to tell that Kite isn't human

Same with his parents The lot of them blend in perfectly Don't know why she stresses so much And even if they didn't, they have a human to vouch for them A bunch of humans actually

There's a brief pause where Kyle let's himself think about that for a moment. He's never had a chance to think about it before. He doesn't really dwell on it for longer than a minute, flipping himself onto his stomach. His tail lazily sways back and forth as he listens/

I think I got off point there

Allow me to relocate and get back to what I was supposed to be talking about

. . .

There is a fucking line, Kite! You stay on your side of the line! You can't just walk over to my side! Just waltz on over like you own the fucking place! And just, act like it's no big deal! You just sit down right next to me. Like. Right next to me, are thighs are fucking pressed against each other and you lean into me! You just, push your head up against my shoulder like a fucking cat until I give you attention

Which I always do I'm weak

And then you start purring, and your tail does a dumb little wag! And I'm sitting there, begging and pleading, that I don't do something dumb You're putty in my fucking hands Asking me to just shower you in attention! I do, I always do- I always sit there and give you attention

Whatever it is you want I'd give it to you I'd do it for you Anything, for you

The voice softens just a bit, lowering itself. He sounded so very, very mad. Not even mad, just agitated. His voice is heady, wrapped into the narrative he's spinning so accurately. Kyle feels his stomach flip at the words droning so deeply into his skull. The notions made his skin tingle, heart pulsating so very fast he wouldn't be shocked if it exploded all at once.

But no! I stay on my side of the line Like a good boy

Because I don't wanna freak him out Or scare him off

I feel like such a fucking perv And I am a bit pervy I am fully aware of the fact that I am known to stare if someone fine is walking by

But.

To stare at Kite? To want Kite?

It definitely caught me off guard

And he isn't human He doesn't get it I touch him I feel like I'm dirtying him Even if it's just a high five! I have too much on mind for this shit

I see that idiot and you know what I wanna to do?

Do you even wanna to know what I want do to him?

Kyle slams the pause button, he can feel his nerves shoot up in shock. His tail has went from lazily thumping back and forth to wagging like that of a dogs. The minute ridges on his back are shaking, just a bit. He may be mildly cold-blooded, but right now he really can't tell.

He looks down at his hands and they're entirely cyan, normally just a little bit at the tips. The hue shoots up his forearms. He can practically hear his heartbeat pounding in his chest, the sound bangs back and forth in his skull.

Oh.

Oh he's opened up a massive can of worms with this tape.

He keeps listening

I'd just

.

I would-

.

Fuck man I can't even say it out loud I don't know what I was thinking!

I'm sitting on top of city hall and I was about to go off about how I'd fuck him!

Could I even fuck him? Are the species compatible? Do aliens even have reproductive organs?

They must They totally do How else do they, how do they reproduce? Eggs?

. . . Nasty

But I would fucking worship him I would do whatever he asked me too Even if he's too unversed in human reproduction to ask me too fuck him up I'd still do what he asks me too

You wanna go out at that new pizza place that charges by the minute? Let's go darling

You wanna go check out the newest arcade cabinet? Baby, the cars already running

You want me to get your logo as a tramp stamp? I might not do that one actually . That's a lie I'd do anything for him

. . .

God, I'm such a mess I need real therapy

Kyle has long since buried his face in a pillow to muffle his screams (although they're closer to high pitched squeals) and cover his ears. He feels like he's running a fever, a really, really bad fever. Every square inch of his body is on fire and he can't care much that he's clawing into his pillow, downy soft feathers spilling from gouges.

He's drawing a blank.

A complete and utter blank.

He hears the click signalling it's over and he feels his stomach twist in regret.

It's a lot easier to hide that you know something if said something isn't... that, whole thing that just happened. His ears are ringing a little bit as the words ping around the sides of his head, like a game of Pong. The pillow is still keeping his face covered as he rolls onto his back, then his side, then his front, and his side again, knees pressed flush against the wall. Fuck, he feels like he's sixteen all over again, and that was just three years ago! He's too young to be having moments like this.

He mechanizes his breathing, eyes wide open as he stares at the darkness of the space themed pillow case in front of him. Sheer darkness with the occasional blip of a lighter hue. His tail is still thrashing, whipping back and forth madly, he's sure it would scuff the wall if it hit it.

He has to come down from his safe space eventually. Even if that safe space is merely a pillow pressed to his face.

He tosses aside the pillow and rolls onto his back and just stares at the ceiling.

His entire existence has officially been flipped on it's head.

He hears his cell phone ring and he reaches for it, answering before even checking whose calling. He gives a cracked, "Hello?"

"Dude are you good? You sound like you've just been crying," Came Kenny's voice, concern laid on thick.

Kyle nearly hangs upon the spot but instead he bites his tongue and doesn't say a word.

"Look man, dads being a bit of an ass, and Ike was wondering if you could come pick him up for the umpteenth time," Kenny said. He gave a hum, "Could Karen tag along?"

"Totally man," Kyle answered with as he sat up, trying so hard to still his tail. It swiped back and forth atop the blankets, he felt a little bit wrong about not telling Kenny what he knew right now. But, this is a bad time to do that, any Kyle can lie his way out of it again. He hesitates before adding, "You need an escape too?"

"It'd be nice, but you already sound tired. Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you perhaps 'jacking it', my fine, alien friend?" Kenny asked tauntingly, his smugness was palatable.

Kyle wished he could just say 'yeah' and move on instead of carefully think over his next words. Life would much simpler if his head didn't catch on the usage of 'fine' in referral to himself. His mouth felt dry but he choked out some words anyways. "Dude, what makes you think I even have a dick? I got that weird ass alien biology, don't I?""

There's a laugh on the other side, "Hey man, not all of my shots are gonna be spot on. But really, if you don't want me over I won't come," There's an tenderness to his voice and the contrast to the almost gritty and desperate tone he had on the tape gives Kyle whiplash.

"You can if you want too, but I'll probably pass out pretty fast," Kyle lied. He'd just lay in bed, wide awake, for potentially hours with Kenny on the floor beside him. That's how it usually went at least.

"Going full on feral like you did earlier takes a lot out of you, doesn't it?" Kenny asked.

Silence.

"Silent treatment, did I strike a nerve bud? Regardless, we'll be out front in ten," Kenny said, "I can make you some hot coco if you'd like."

"That'd be nice," Was Kyle's weak response.

-/-/-/-

The night was a lot more tense than either of them wanted it to be.

They usually shared a hug before actually getting into bed and trying to pass out. And if not that then Kyle would subtly demand some time to just, co-exist, in very close proximity to each other. In even more minimal situations, they would just share some words of 'love you bro' and call it a night.

None of that transpired.

"I can just go home man," Kenny offered at the break of two AM.

Kyle rolled over to the edge of his bed, leaning over it just a bit, "It's fine."

"Is something wrong? Cause like, you've just been acting... off, lately," Kenny said gently as he propped himself on his elbows, both resting on his pillow.

"Nothings wrong," Kyle said, he crossed his arms and rested his chin on them, "I am gonna ask my parents some questions when they get back."

"About what?" Kenny asked quietly, as though he were afraid of shattering the night if he spoke too loud. The navy walls cast deep blue across the room, reflecting the moonlight in a comfortable darkness.

Kyle stayed silent.

"Alien stuff?" Kenny asked.

Kyle nodded, "Yeah, alien stuff."

"Fun," Kenny answered with a scoff. He dropped back down again and turned to face Kyle, Kyle's bed frame at least, "But for real, you're just- somethings going on in your head. I can tell."

Kyle shrugged, "It's stupid."

"I won't judge man, you're my best friend," Kenny said. And he said it in such a way that for a brief second Kyle forgot about the tapes entirely.

"How are you supposed to talk to someone about something you don't want too?" Kyle asked, trying to withhold and give equal amounts of information.

Kenny paused, "Work out the words in your head. Practice once or twice, maybe even record it. Figure out what needs to be reworked. Write it out if you must- just get it out of your head."

Kyle nodded.

"Trust me man, the second it's out of your head and off your shoulders, life will be easier," Kenny explained reassuringly, "Even if it's only for a second or two."

"Thanks bro," Kyle said quietly.

"Least I can do," Kenny said.

There's a beat of hesitance, "Love you man."

"Love you too," And then Kenny turns away from him, tugging the blanket up to his shoulders.

-/-/-/-

Kyle's pretty sure that Kenny is onto him at this rate, but, he tries to ignore the terrible slithering sensation that he's been caught.

He just focuses on whatever comes next.

This time it's none other than The Coon himself deciding he needs to bring something up with Kyle. Silence drenches the room in the worst way possible as he sits across from the hybrid. Furred ears are swiveled to face Kyle and it makes him feel impossibly nervous, he knows that Cartman can hear his heartbeat. Can it hear pick up speed when Stan sits down beside him, even more so when Wendy joins.

And then Clyde, Timothy, Jimmy- all on one side of Cartman.

Tweek and Craig sit down on the side with Wendy and Stan, Scott as well.

"We know you figured it out, Kyle," Cartman said calmly, tone frigid in a way that makes Kyle feel paralyzed. The hybrid clasps his hands together in front of himself on the table.

"Figured what out?" Kyle snaps back with, trying his hardest to muster the usual snarkiness he has around Cartman. Bute he fails, miserably at that. He just sounds pathetic, grasping at straws if nothing else.

"Don't play dumb," Wendy said, she sounded sharp. She may be tough as nails, and normally Kyle respects that, admires it even, but when it's directed towards him? He gets why people run from Call Girl.

"Why in the cosmos should I tell the likes of you?" Kyle answered with, feebly trying to defend Kenny's privacy.

A privacy that he had already thoroughly breached and ravaged, alongside the unspoken trust they had. He had wrecked it, ruined it, destroyed it- but he could salvage it from the fact Kenny didn't know that Kyle knew.

"You can trust us, Kyle. We're your best friends," Clyde said. And he was right, he was so right.

Kyle's tail snaked itself around the chair leg, "Really guys, I don't know what you're talking about-"

"His secret, Kyle," Cartman said, "Tell us."

"I," He hesitated, "I can't."

"You've already fucked up your relationship with him enough, Kyle. I got Wendy to do a deep dive on your species, and of the few things she could find, she discovered this," Cartman said. He raised a folder, an awful beige and orange hue, and slid it over to Kyle.

The alien hesitantly took it. It was three pages thick, presumably doubled sided. He opened it and skimmed through the headings, he knew every single trait in and out. He paused at the highlighted one, "You're joking."

"This is serious man," Stan said, "We wouldn't just accuse you of imprinting of Kenny without any basis."

"That's stupid. He's my best friend. That's all, that's our dynamic- the kind of dynamic that rakes in loads of cash," Kyle defended with, hoping that pressing on Cartman's one pressure point would make him let up. He slammed the folder shut and slid it back, "Even if I did imprint on him, it would ruin the franchise and never be reciprocated."

"Then tell us what the secret is, you have nothing to lose, no? Just a friend, they come and go on earth," Cartman said. He was calling Kyle's bluff, did he even realize it? He probably did, or if he didn't, he'd snoop until he did.

"Ask Professor Chaos instead, he knows more," Kyle said, trying so, so hard to deflect. The tension pooling everywhere under his skin was agonizing. He needed an out so bad, he needed an escape so, so fucking bad.

Cartman scoffs, "Already done, he said he was sworn to some oath of secrecy, sent us to you."

Kyle stays silent, forcing eye contact with the sleaze in front of the him. The trash eater himself, scraping tactics from the bottom of the barrel.

"Just tell us, no harm will come from it," Cartman said sternly.

"It'll destroy my friendship with Kenny," Kyle snarled out.

"No new harm will come from it, we all know the damage has been done my friend, it's just yet to be discovered," Cartman said, words cutting into Kyle like a knife.

He bites his tongue, Cartman's right, "Give me a week to collect more information on the subject, then I'll report back with the news."

There's a smug and satisfied grin on Cartman's face as he leans back, "See? That wasn't so hard, was now?"

Kyle stands up and pushes away from the table, "I'm going."

"Don't forget about your patrol with Mysterion tomorrow evening, Kite!" Cartman calls out, head leaned back on his chairs backrest.

Kyle's tail is swaying angrily, "Fuck off."

His fangs are grinding against each other as he storms off, if it weren't for the fact he was in suit he would punt the closest chihuahua like a football. Or do something else just as dumb. Maybe kick a fire hydrant and hope it doesn't dent, or punch a tree. Something to make the tense feeling uncoil, to let himself just relax for one second.

He doesn't deserve that though.

He's been uprooting the very foundations of his friendship with Kenny, all because of some morbid curiosity. And Kenny doesn't even fucking know. Kyle is just getting away with it cause he's being awfully slick with how careful he is to put everything back exactly where he found it.

The worst part is how long it's taken for him to feel genuine guilt about it if nothing else. He's such a fucking snake, biting onto his relationship with Kenny and refusing to let go. Sinking fangs deeper and deeper, searching for more even though it's cannibalizing itself. And the first taste is all that it takes to get someone hooked, shame that the thing he got a taste of was metaphorical guts. Kenny just hasn't realized he's stuck in this ouroboros of a relationship.

Despite that, a really twisted and messed up part of him persists in wondering when he'll find the next tape.

-/-/-/-

He finds the next tape almost a week after the interrogation.

Although, we're using the term 'find' rather loosely here. Instead it sort of, fell directly into his lap. And despite knowing better and not wanting to go any further, he still held onto it and didn't let go.

"Thanks for washing my gear man," Kenny said as he stood at the door, Kyle held the bundle of purple fabrics in hand.

He gave a smile, as convincing as he could manage, "No problem man, least I can do."

"See ya tomorrow bro," Kenny said before pivoting on a heel to leave which struck Kyle as odd. The blonde usually loitered for a little bit, chatted casually about whatevers on his head. But none of that came today.

Still, Kyle closed the door and walked down to the luandry room before shaking out the purple. There was that clatter, plastic against unfinished flooring, it was just concrete at the moment. He tossed in the clothing and flipped on the spin cycle with a bit of lavender scented soap. He slid down the front of the washing machine and stared at the tape.

He shouldn't.

He really shouldn't.

He does.

He grips the tape and slams it into the player and hits the play button before he can further question his actions.

I know you're hearing this, Kyle I don't know how long you've been listening to my diary for But it's you It has to be you

Kyle swears his heart stops dead in its tracks. He barely registers that the grit Kenny forces when he's acting out Mysterion has disappeared. That this is just Kenny now.

Who else would be messing with my tapes They're never just right when you put them back You leave scuff marks on the plastic I can fingerprint things, Kyle

I planted this one And log number twelve The rest though? I don't know how many of those you've heard

I'll admit I never meant for number three to fall into your hands I just thought you'd be kind enough to not listen in

. . . How wrong I was

And it's a real shame too You better not have told the rest of the team, Kyle I will make you regret every single breath you've taken if you have

But, that's only if I can get that intel from the gang Do be warned that Cartman is very easy to persuade It won't take me much longer than ten minutes to make him crack

The rest will go even faster Although, I'd give Wendy much longer Craig? He'll be shattering in seven minutes, tops Tweek? Three, maybe four Stan? He trusts me more than you'd expect, he won't even fight

I hope I was right about you being smart, Kyle

Kyle's blood turns to ice.

He is so fucked.

At least he didn't tell Cartman.

You already know my big secret And you have two options, Kyle

Option one: Meet me at Starks Pond tonight to confirm how you feel about the contents of these logs. I'm probably sitting there right now

Option two: Don't. This horrible relationship limbo can remain just like this, on my end I've been stuck here for years

Look, Kyle, what you've done here You're forcing my hand I don't have any other options

Do what you want

I clearly can't stop you

The tape is flung from the cassette player to the other side of the room, it hits the wall and cracks. A thousand regrets pool in the pit of Kyle's stomach and he wants to vomit. He also wants to curl up in a ball and die. Or live in Cartman's basement instead, those are all good options.

But in the same breath...

He's being given a choice when he was sure this whole thing he had with Kenny would simply implode, collapse in on itself and die. He has one chance to make this better than it is. He'll never be able to make this right, but, he can at least try and reinforce the breaking pieces before it's entirely broken.

He picks himself up off the ground and starts on his way up the stairs. He freezes at the door, is he gonna do this? Is he gonna go out to Starks Pond and talk like he should've far too long ago?

Yeah, yeah he fucking is.

The real question is if he's actually gonna say whats been fueling his co-dependency with Kenny for so long.

He isn't sure if he'll manage to fess up to the stupidest biological function he has. He'll try, he'll make an attempt to explain exactly what's been conspiring inside of his head without him even realizing for so many years. He'll at the very least get out a couple words to explain the dumbest thing he's been roped into by his own genetics and unfortunate timing.

-/-/-/-

The ever-present snow and ice crunches under Kyle's boots, but that's the last thing he's focusing on. His eyes are trained ahead of hi as he walks along the edge of Starks Pond. His tail is still, a very rare occurrence.

When he reaches the edge of the pond that Kenny's standing at he's lost his words. The blonde is just staring at him, looking for tells. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his orange jacket, bright orange, pumpkin orange. Kyle can't focus on anything.

"It worked, you nosy little shit," Kenny said, words weaponized with ease.

"Yeah, it worked," Kyle said. He took a step closer, "I'm sorry," and then another, "For everything really," A third step and Kenny tenses, flinching back just a bit. In turn Kyle steps back.

"For what? Did you tell them?" Kenny asked defensively. He sounded scared more than anything else.

"I know better than that Kenny, they did interrogate me though," Kyle explained stiffly.

Kenny gives a hum, "That gets that problem out of the way."

Kyle nods, "Yeah, that it does."

"So, you listened to three, nine, twelve, and seven, right?" Kenny asked.

"Sorry," Kyle said.

"At least have the decency to dignify me with an answer man, you just fucking ruined me. I had to record that final tape five times before it was good enough to use. I swear to god, normally I'd cut you some slack and now you know why, but not this time," Kenny spat sharply, "So, you listened to those tapes, right?"

"Yep, the four that you listed," Kyle said, his attempt to stay professional just made him sound stiff and disjointed.

This time Kenny faltered before speaking, "And your opinions on them?"

"Positive," Kyle answered with faster than a bullet. His tail flicked as he spoke.

"Anything else?" Kenny asked, desperation heavy on his voice. Thick like molasses.

"I think I imprinted on you- which means something different then it does for the ducks!" Kyle was quick to backtrack on his words, Kenny just looked intrigued, "My species has a 'thats the one' instinct. If we find the right person, it activates, and according to my parents at least, it's usually subliminal. When we landed, I imprinted on you- so, to me, you're the one. And for all I know, unless you die and stay dead, that stupid ass hormonal flux won't go down."

Kenny stayed silent.

"I'm stuck fixating on you until one of us dies, my kind mates for life, and unless I submit myself to experimental science the animal part of my brain is gonna keep screaming that you're mine. Which is kind of annoying, and dumb, and gets in the way- and I didn't even realize it until I found that first tape. I've just been infatuated with you since grade four and I don't know how to make it stop," Kyle spilled, some words meshing together in a blend of syllables. Cyan progressively rose to his face the entire time he spoke. He dropped down to the ground, facing away from Kenny and towards the water, "I'm so fucking sorry Kenny."

Kenny took a few tentative steps closer to where Kyle sat, his tail lay curled around him yet limp on the ground. His ears were drooping a bit and he looked ashamed of himself, a little bit distraught at that. "I'm not gonna disown you, Kyle. That'd just be fucking stupid."

"I didn't mean to ruin your life man, you could've been scoring. God, I probably scared off so many people without even realizing it," Kyle choked out weakly. He pressed his nails into the heel of his palm, "I swear I didn't mean to imprint on you. I swear man- I can try and suppress it."

"It's fine, Kyle," Kenny said as he crouched down beside Kyle. He bumped their shoulders together.

No response.

Okay, that was worrying. It struck a particular chord in the depths of Kenny's chest. One very, very similar to the 'my sister is hurt' chord, which unlocks a specific subset of reactions. Those reactions include:

A: Unbridled violence on whoever caused this B: Giving tried and true advice C: Terrible jokes and playful punches D: Just listening with or without a glass of warm milk

None of those options seem optimal, so Kenny improvises.

"I mean, the whole 'imprint' thing doesn't bother me," Kenny said as he sat down behind Kyle. His knees were bent and he rested his head on Kyle's shoulder.

"Dude I fucking ruined your life," Kyle got out quietly, his tail snapped to punctuate his sentence. It wrapped itself around Kenny's thigh, just above his knee.

"Beg to differ," Kenny said as he slowly raised his hands up. He gently placed them at the base of Kyle's skull, he tensed but didn't move. Kenny slowly rubbed circles in just behind Kyle's ears in the hopes it would calm him down.

Kyle leaned back into Kenny a bit, "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Half of those tapes were me going off about how much I adore you and want you, Kyle. I know you have a brain in there, put it to some use," Kenny said, a small grin on his face as he spoke. He could feel Kyle start to purr, "Just think about it."

Kyle paused for a moment, to just let all of the data sink in. He felt like a total idiot when the conclusion formed in his head, "Oh."

"Yeah," Kenny answered with, "Good thing."

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Kyle said with a laugh on his voice. He squeezed a bit tighter around Kenny's leg, constricting, like a snake, "Can't wait to confirm my families suspicions."

"Do they think we're a thing?" Kenny asked as he combed his fingers through Kyle's hair.

Kyle nodded, "Probably, apparently I've been signalling some very, very vulgar and subtle things to you with my tail for the past six years. I didn't even notice my tail was moving half the time, but it was- mom and dad had to explain that to me which was fun."

"Did you stop?" Kenny asked.

"Naw, definitely not," Kyle answered with smugly, "You never knew anyways."

Kenny gives a hum, "I would say I was giving some vulgar signs myself, but humans don't have a good way to do that discretely."

"I've noticed," Kyle said, "I can read half of you like books with all the tells each of you have."

"Guess Ill have to be even more mysterious so the guys don't catch on," Kenny said as Kyle started to purr, the vibrations rapidly picking up in volume. It felt nice.

"They aren't idiots dude," Kyle said, "They'll catch on soon enough."

"Or we could just walk in there holding hands one day, wait for someone to point it out and go 'yeah we're dating now' and just act like nothing has changed," Kenny said, "Even if we don't go to the movies or eat out at restaurants- that'd be funny."

"We'll see what happens first," Kyle answered with. He holds his breath for a beat, "Love you, Kenny," There's a veritable depth to the words now.

"Love you, Kyle," Kenny answered with the same as he always has, Kyle just never noticed the subtext. He presses a brief kiss to Kyle's forehead.

-/-/-/-

Stan is the first one too notice that Kyle and Kenny are different. A good different though. They're more synced up on the field, better at silent communication, just predicting each other in general. It definitely benefits the team as a whole for the crime-fighting, but whether or not the development is good for the franchise is a whole other story.

He's the first one to ask around about it too.

"Hey Wendy, Kyle and Kenny-"

"Are acting off? I noticed," Wendy said, cutting Stan short with ease. She glanced up from her phone, "I'm already scouring about for details."

"Anything actually come up?" Stan asked.

Wendy shook her head, "Nope, you'd assume that there'd be something; but most searches are coming up dry."

"Worth a shot," Stan said with a sigh.

"You should go ask Craig, he's pretty close to Kenny," Wendy offered up and before she could finish her sentence Stan was looking for Craig.

He was sitting at his desk as usual, cruddy costume and all.

"Craig whats up with Kyle and Kenny?" Stan asked.

And without skipping a beat Craig answered with, "They're homosexuals, Stan."

"What?" Came Stan's dead response, words hollow and in disbelief.

Craig nodded to the aforementioned duo walking in, "Go ask why they're holding hands."

Stan faltered.

"Listen, if you're afraid I'm right you should've asked out Kyle sooner to avoid it," Craig blatantly accused, the words forced the air from Stan's lungs like a sucker punch.

Now aware that Craig is going to keep mentally gut punching him, Stan just heads on off to Kyle and Kenny. They are indeed holding hands, and Kyle's tail is wrapped around Kenny's thigh, just above his knee.

"Look, you two," Stan began with.

"Yeah man, what's up?" Kyle asked, and he's hiding a grin poorly. He's sure that it adds to the confusion Stan is displaying.

Kenny was right.

This is pretty fucking funny.

"How come you guys are holding hands?" Stan asked quietly.

"Kyle imprinted on me," Kenny said bluntly, "We're dating now."

"How long has this been going on for?" Stan asked.

Kyle shrugged, "A month, we were waiting for you guys to notice."

Craig gives a smug, "Told you so!" from his desk.

"Were you guys betting on what was happening?" Kenny asked, an undertone of a snicker to his voice.

"No, even if we did Craig would've won," Stan said spitefully.

Kyle grins a bit, "No need to be sour man, you can still break the news to Cartman, I'm sure it'll be hysterical to see his reaction."

"Dude. Let's go find Cartman," Kenny said eagerly, he was practically vibrating where he stood. Hes grinning that gap tooth grin, "I need to see his reaction right now."

"Wanna tag along?" Kyle asked, holding out a hand to Stan.

He refrained from taking it, "Totally man."

Craig sidles up beside the three of them, "I got a camera to record it."

#south park #south park k2 #sp k2 #south park fanfiction #south park fic #kysterion #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #tw mild gore #tw swearing #tw betrayal #as you all know i was once again staring at artwork by kennysdeadbody. as i usually do writing K2. specifically those kitenny doodles. #kite is really just a creature. big ol' cat. he purrs. #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #small headcanon that craigs gaydar is off the motherfucking shits (also wanted to let him say faggot(I didnt))

[shadowlegacy3000]

Chapter 2 is finally out

#south park #south park the fractured but whole #south park the stick of truth #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #red mcarthur #stan marsh #butters stotch #south park fic #south park phone destroyer #bebe south park #bebe stevens #wendy testaburger #eric cartman #sp cartman #south park cartman #Youtube

[buggysimp]

Kenman angst

I don't know if this is good, I don't know if it makes sense, all I know is a demon came over me and I wrote this instead of doing the dishes. Is this ooc? Maybe. Do I care? Not reallay

Not beta read, emetophobia, drinking, drug ment, unhealthy coping

Lmk if there's anything else I should tag

It was highschool. The time of their lives. Meant for fun memories and crazy stories. For parties and convenience store runs. For stupid dares and awkward confessions. These were the years meant to be the most fun.

Yet here was Eric Cartman, surrounded by people cheering him on as he got..an uncomfortable level of fucked up.

Kenny McCormick felt his insides tumble and compress painfully as he watched his best friend stagger around, face well past rosy and his movements labored. It seemed like every time they went to one of these parties now this was how Eric ended up.

Turning away he went to go get a refill on his own drink, meandering through the groups of people before ending up in the Donovan residence's kitchen. Soon the red cup in his white knuckle grip was full of some mix of shit that he didn't care to know, sipping at it at a much more leisurely pace than Eric had.

Going to parties used to be fun. They would drink and smoke and sing stupid girly pop songs while shuffling back to Kenny's shithole to sleep off the multiple highs before walking to the bus stop like a couple of zombies. Now it wasn't fun. Now it was Kenny dragging Eric home every weekend. Now it was Eric getting so fucked up he couldn't talk let alone sing. Now it was Kenny following Eric like a ghost, just there to make sure he was safe.

He remembers exactly when it changed.

When Mrs Cartman got into that accident. When Eric inherited an empty house junior year.

Back in the present, a loud crash came from behind him followed by squeals and shouts. Whether they were concerned or still cheering him on Kenny couldn't tell. What he could tell was that Eric had just busted his ass and it was time to haul him home.

"Kiiinnnyyyy..!" It wasn't hard to guess who that particular squeal came from.

The drink in his hand suddenly didn't taste that great, settling in his stomach like molten lead and leading him to the sink. Unceremoniously dropping it in he watched the vaguely pink fluid rush down the drain. Taking a deep breath he willed his nausea away, not wanting to throw up a mix of that same pink fluid and whatever junk he'd eaten.

After a minute to collect himself he was back in the living room, arms around Eric's shoulders and guiding him to the front door. People groaned and waved him off, shouting slurred goodbyes to the two while Kenny went through the motions of leaving.

"See you next week McCormick!" Came the send off from the party host himself, Clyde raising his cup in a farewell.

"See ya." Came his own gruff reply, not particularly caring about pleasantries at the moment.

The change in Eric brought with it a change in how Kenny viewed people he'd known all his life. People he'd considered his friends. People who goaded on Eric's self-destruction, who didn't care how bad it was for him as long as, in typical Cartman fashion, it was entertaining.

It felt like Kenny versus the world, like he was the only one who gave a fuck what happened to Eric at these parties. It felt like he was the only one there for his best friend. However the only people Kenny couldn't blame were Stan and Kyle.

He knew that himself and Kyle were going through very similar things in regards to their best friends.

For that reason he felt a kinship with the ginger.

Finally out of the house Kenny relished the cool air enveloping his and Eric's unpleasantly hot bodies. Kenny began the hour-long trek to his house; it would usually only take twenty minutes but when Eric was like this that number tripled.

No words were spoken between the two for a while, the only sounds breaking the silence were Eric's displeased groans and Kenny's labored grunts. About 30 minutes in and almost halfway to his house Eric finally broke out of his hold and stumbled towards the treeline before throwing up all over the ground and himself.

Kenny sucked in a breath through his teeth, rushing over to hold Eric's greasy brown hair out of his face while his other hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. He was a wreck, vomit and sweat and spilled alcohol on the front of his red t-shirt, tears streaking down his cheeks and snot smeared under his nose, his eyebrows screwed up in an absolutely pitiful display.

Kenny led him a bit away from his sick, helping him sit down in the damp post spring grass. Taking his own seat he watched the woods on the other side of the road, the odd squirrel catching his eye while he waited for Eric to calm down enough to continue walking.

Except that never happened.

Instead his breaths got wetter and heavier, his sniffling more frequent until finally he pressed into Kenny's side, smearing a mix of bile and snot on his parka as Eric sobbed into his shoulder.

Before Kenny could react Eric was talking, his slurred words further muffled by fabric.

"Everyone thinks that I'm jus like- like her! Everytime they look at me is like I can see their thoughts, 'oh there's Cartman he's jus like that skank, look at him he's a fuckin mess, he'll do whatever you say, what a joke', and the worst part is that I don.. I don't even know if they're wrong." If it hadn't been for the fact that Kenny was used to deciphering even the most unintelligible words he wouldn't have understood any of that.

"Oh God Kinny, I'm jus like my mom."

His crying had somehow worsened, his fingers dug painfully into Kenny's boney back and ribs, spit joining the mix of fluids on him as Eric practically wailed.

"I'm jus fucking like her! A fuckin drunk, a fuckin druggie, what's nex-next? I'm gonna become a fuckin crack whore juss like her too?" He spent a minute just crying and breathing until he could speak clearer. "She was all of that and worse, but-but I miss her so much Kinny. I miss her. I- fuck- I juss want my mom.." He whispered the last part, punctuating the end with a wet sniffle.

Kenny sat there, one arm loosely around Eric as he absorbed what he said. This was the most he had opened up about how the death of his mother made him feel and it left him reeling, searching for answers and words of comfort that he didn't have.

Kenny had his own fair share of parental issues, his own fears of winding up just like his own drunken, drug addicted parents. But never once did he consider that Eric had that same fear. And then it clicked.

Eric was coping the same way he watched his mother cope. He was doing all this shit to try and feel close to her again.

In what felt like a split second Kenny's own facade crumpled, his hands fisted in the back of Eric's shirt as he held him and cried. He cried because as fucked up as he was, Eric had never judged Kenny, he allowed him to also be fucked up and mean and stupid and he was his best friend and he was hurting and Eric always helped him and he was his best friend.

And in that moment Kenny McCormick did not know how to help Eric Cartman.

And it broke his heart.

And even though no words of comfort were spoken, no shift in the universe happened, no problems were truly solved, there was a blanket of understanding covering two boys as they sobbed together on the side of a wet Colorado road.

For just one second they were the only people in the world.

#south park #eric cartman #south park fandom #kenny mccormick #kenman #sp kenman #south park fic #angst #cw emetophobia #cw drinking #writers on tumblr #sorry i love them so much i have to put them through hell

[stylestiel]

These are the chapter titles and snippets of my South Park style fanfic (so far!)

Chapter 1: Coming Out is Totally Not a Big Deal, Right?

Chapter 2: Homies Hugging Homies

Chapter 3: But Like, In a Gay Way

Chapter 4: Don't Think About It, Drink About It

Chapter 5: Sick or Lovesick? (The Latter)

Chapter 6: Pukecapades

Chapter 7: Highyle vs. Kitchen Nightmare

Chapter 8: Kyle Has No Cool(io)

Chapter 9: For A Good Time, Call Stan

Chapter 10: You Know What? Kyle Learned Something Today! (He Didn't)

Chapter 11: The Consequences of Being (Half) Gay

Chapter 12: What Does The Late Bird Get?

Chapter 13: Confession Session

Chapter 14: AP (Absolutely Pathetic)

Chapter 15: Marry Kyle, Fuck Myself, Kill Kenny

Chapter 16: Butchback Mountain (A Redneck Romance)

Chapter 17: (TBD!)

#south park fic #south park fanfiction #south park ficlet #spstyle fic #spstyle fanfiction #style fic #style fanfiction #style #sp #sp style #stanky #sp stanky #sp stugly #stugly #stankyle #sp Stankyle #south park #nheyguys #nhaigen #stanxkyle #kylexstan #stankyle comic #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #style South Park #stan x Kyle

[stellarangelic]

Life's hardest struggle: liking ship X/Z more than the canon X/O, but Z only makes sense as a love interest given the concept of the fic you're writing. Therefore X and Z have to be platonic or briefly in relations BEFORE X decides on O. Either way, my heart will be shattered at the end (but thats just counting the ship decision part lol)

#sp icbwha #sp normalcy #south park fandom #sp creek #sp crenny #ao3 #south park fic #writing memes #writeblr #writing community #writing

[yudontknowmesblog]

Stan x Reader

(Where Stan is jealous since she’s hanging out with some boys!)

BTW YES I SEE YOUR REQUEST ILL DO THEM I PROMISE CHAT

I don’t know how to do this homework oh my goshhh I say “me neither me garrison gives us random homework that we never did in class” Bebe says “exactly it’s so annoying” as all the girls were agreeing to you until Clyde goes up to your lunch table “uh hey y/n” Clyde says as you “yeah?” “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today I mean because like remember the game you wanted my parents bought it so…like if you wanna come over you can” Clyde says “of course!” “Nice! Okay see you than” Clyde says as he walks off. Right after you threw your lunch away and went outside you feel a hand on you “what th- Oh hey Stan” “hey y/n” Stan smiles almost as if he has heart eyes “what happened?” “Oh I just wanted to if-“ Stan gets cut off by Clyde “can’t wait y/n” Clyde says while walking off, Stan looks at Clyde confused but also angry “what the hell are you guys going anywhere” Stan says “oh yeah we are gonna play some games” you smile and look at Stan with a angered look and mouth slightly open “why what happened” “what happened? It’s god damn Clyde you know how he is” Stan says “oh cmon yeah he’s…something.. but it’s not like it’s anything crazy just some games” “yeah totally” Stan says sarcastically “oh cmon I would chose you over Clyde any day” “you mean it” Stan says while slightly smiling “of course that would be stupid going for him” *you kiss his cheek and walk off* Stan is all flustered and nervous but also smiling (chats bare with me bare with me now 😞🙏)

MEANWHILE STAN TALKING ABOUT IT TO HIS FREINDS

“Yeah dude Clyde was all over y/n” Stan says “it’s only games Stan” Kyle says “yeah idiot your just jealous” Eric says “yeah jelly Stan” Kenny says but you can barley hear it because of his jacket “I’m not jealous it’s just a right to fell weird about your girlfriend going to a guys house” Stan says in a serious tone “yeah to play games” Kyle says “you would never know!” Stan says “jelly Stan jelly Stan” the whole group says “I’m not fucking jealous over Clyde!” Stan says “then don’t think about y/n with Clyde” Kyle says “I can’t!” “Why not” “because I’m!…” “exactly” Eric says

(Btw Stan was so jealous he went to Clyde house and looked into the windows and ofc you noticed it and sighed and left Clyde house)

“Can I just have one day without you being so close” you sigh, Stan looks at the floor while you pull his hand to his house “I love you” Stan says “I love you more..but your crazy”

#south park #south park x reader #south park x y/n #stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh x y/n #south park x you #sp stan marsh #south park fic #south park stan #south park fanfiction #south park headcanons #Stan marsh x you

[suddenlybambi]

spin the bottle ♥ kyle broflovski

pairing : kyle broflovski x reader

nsfw (smut) - minors DNI!!! - aged up characters (18+)

tags : implied underaged drinking, praise kink, degradation, hair pulling, p in v sex, afab reader, mild sub/dom dynamics, sub!kyle, dom!reader

word count : 3.5k

summary : when a game of spin the bottle pairs you with the object of your affection, you'll take full advantage of the chance the universe has given you

masterlist

a/n - this isn't proof read so pls if there are mistakes lemme know

It was a well-known fact that Clyde always threw the best parties in South Park. Whenever his dad was off on a business trip, it was go-time, and that weekend was indeed go-time.

It was one of the rare occasions when you had all decided to keep it amongst friends, with no assholes from neighbouring towns showing up for free booze and boobs. Just the South Park group.

“Bebe, my love, your tit is about to fall out,” You reached over to hike up Bebe’s dress for the fourth time that night. You had no idea how she even managed to keep it on in the first place. It was practically just a belt that barely covered her. Though you had to admit, she looked hot as hell in it. Figuratively speaking, of course, if she dared to take a step outside, she would surely freeze to death. 

“I love you!” She grabbed your face in the palms of her hands, squishing your cheeks together. “You are playing spin the bottle with us!”

“Oooh, tempting, but no!” You smiled as you rolled your eyes, looking around and prying her hands off of your face. “You know as well as I do that there is only one person here I would kiss.”

“Just ask him out already!” She groaned, dropping her arms to her sides dramatically. “Oooor… Just screw someone else to take your mind off of him?”

“Babe, unless you’re suggesting yourself, I’m not interested,” You teased, grabbing her arm as she started to stumble a little. You pondered for a minute, looking around at the people you had grown up with. “I’ll play one round of spin the bottle.”

“Yes!” Bebe cheered, grabbing your face and planting a very drunken kiss on your forehead. “You beautiful bitch! Let’s get you laid!”

“Since when did the rules of spin the bottle change from a kiss to a quickie?” You joked as she pulled you towards the gathering circle. To your somewhat pleasant surprise, the object of your affection, Kyle Broflovski, had decided to play. The surprise was only somewhat pleasant as you realised that out of the 12 or so people playing, the chances of the bottle landing on him when you spun it were decreased. You could dream, though, and dream you most certainly did. Usually at night, with your hand buried between your thighs and his name on your lips.

“If it rolls on a guy, do I have to kiss him?” Clyde asked, looking around for confirmation or, rather, someone to say that he doesn’t have to.

“What’s wrong? Scared you’ll catch feelings?” You teased your friend as Bebe pulled you to sit down next to her. “Or are you scared that the feelings you’ve already caught will come out?”

“It’s just a peck on the lips,” Kenny shrugged, nudging Clyde. “It’s no big deal.”

“Kenny, dude, you’ll kiss anyone,” Stan pointed out. “Is there a penalty for not kissing someone?”

“Tolkien?” Bebe called across the circle at him. “You got the thing?”

“I sure do!” He pulled out a bottle of something so red that it was practically glowing. Whatever it was, it didn’t look natural. “Hot sauce, it’s over 2 million Scoville.”

“Is that hot?” Butters questioned, looking over at the bottle nervously.

“I’d kiss Kyle’s bitch of a mom over drinking any of that hot sauce!” Cartman announced, scowling at the bottle as though it had personally offended him.

“Hey!” Kyle threw his hands up as if to say that the comment was uncalled for, but Cartman ignored him completely.

“Let’s fucking go!” Kenny cheered, spinning the bottle first before anyone else got the chance. Everyone took it in turns. The kisses were only light aside from when Clyde landed on Bebe and fully went in making out.

Finally, it was your turn. You prayed to whatever deities may be listening as you flicked your wrist, sending the empty bottle spinning. There was one person you wanted it to land on, and you held your breath as the spinning slowed down until it eventually ceased.

You didn’t know which deity you now owed it to, but the bottle had landed on exactly who it was supposed to.

Looking up, you met eyes with Kyle Broflovski, who already had a red twinge on his face. You couldn’t tell if it was that look on his face, the alcohol already in your system, or the fact that you had waited for the better part of three years for an opportunity like this, but a wave of confidence rushed over you.

Within seconds, you had gotten up and crossed the circle to him, climbing onto his lap. The small, shocked gasp that slipped from his lips was swallowed in an instant when you pressed your lips against his. Your hands instantly found their way to his hair, the same hair that you had admired from afar, watching the curls bounce as he played basketball when he would casually brush it away from his face. 

You couldn’t help yourself as you pulled on his hair, your lips catching the smallest little whimper that slipped out as you did so. 

There was absolutely no battle for dominance in the kiss. He submitted to you instantly, allowing your tongue entry as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss further. Where you were, and the people observing were lost to you, all you could focus on was that you were actually kissing Kyle, and he was kissing back with just as much eagerness. 

His hands had been on your waist, but they slowly inched down to grab your ass, giving it the softest squeeze as he pulled you impossibly closer.

There was only one thought on your mind when you pushed your hips against his as you straddled him. ‘More’. That’s all you wanted, more, more, more. He was intoxicating.

You were forced to pull away to breathe, but your mouth instantly latched onto his neck, determined that if this were a one-time deal, you would leave your mark.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Cartman’s voice pulled you from your haze, and you regretfully removed your lips from Kyle’s body, though your hands remained in his hair, keeping him close to you. “Get a room!” 

“Later,” You whispered before you pressed another small kiss to his lips, only to be pulled off of him by a very drunk Clyde, who just wanted the game to continue.

You caught the hopeful glint in Kyle’s eyes that confirmed to you just how interested he was in return.

“Please?” He sounded almost pathetic in this plea, but that only fueled you on more. Bebe gave you a knowing look as you rejoined her in your original space in the circle.

Another round started, and Kyle had to kiss Tolkien, but when it was your turn again, you landed on Kenny. He made his way over to you in an instant. You intended for the kiss to be a quick peck, but apparently, the blonde had other ideas as he held your head in place while he tried to deepen the kiss. You managed to push his head away and awkwardly pat his hair as a sign to ‘stay there’, unsure what else to do. Your eyes darted over to Kyle, who had a hard glare set on the back of Kenny’s head.

“I think I’m done now,” You mumbled, getting up and shuffling away from the group. You were suddenly very worried that your kiss with Kyle had sent the wrong idea to everyone else that you were up for full make-out sessions with anyone. The game didn’t last much longer after that. You did notice that Kyle had avoided his turn when it came up. You deeply regret not having done the same.

After the game wrapped up, the music was turned up, and shots were brought out. You downed one before spotting Kyle talking to Kenny in the corner. You suspected that it was about you, and you couldn’t resist getting closer to listen in to the conversation.

“Dude!” Kyle seethed through his teeth, his hand holding onto Kenny’s shirt to prevent him from getting away. “What the hell was that?”

“I did that for you!” Kenny held his arms up in defence. “I was testing her!”

“What the fuck are you on about?”

“I was making sure she was actually interested in you and not just drunk and horny and willing to sleep with anyone,” Kenny explained. You weren’t sure how to feel about that. Part of you felt used and manipulated, but another part of you was proud that you passed the test.

“And the only way you could do that was to stick your tongue down her throat?”

“She didn’t reciprocate at all!” 

“Just… Don’t do that shit again, okay?” Kyle sighed deeply. “You know how I feel about her.” 

“How could I not? You’ve been going on about her for years, dude,” Kenny laughed. You were sure your heart skipped a beat. Had Kyle really felt the same way about you the entire time? It was then that Kenny spotted you, or at least acknowledged you. “Oh, hey, Y/N.”

“Hey, Kenny!” You felt a little better talking to him now that you knew the context of the kiss. But your attention was primarily set on the redhead who looked more than a little flustered to see you. “Hi, Kyle.” 

“Hi…” You wanted to grab his cute, flushed face and kiss him again. You wanted to pin him against the wall and see how much it would take him to beg. You wanted to make an absolute mess of him.

Instead, you just held your hand out. “Dance with me.” It wasn’t a question or even a request. It was an instruction. You could see the switch in his eyes to submission, and you revelled in the power you felt from having such a hold over him. His hand was in yours in a second, and you pulled him towards you and to the edge of the crowd of partygoers. You didn’t want to get caught up amongst everyone. You wanted to keep him for yourself and avoid the risk of others trying to interrupt your conversation. You didn’t want to share him with anyone. He was yours now.

“How much did you hear?” He asked. You could hear his shaky breath betray how nervous he truly was as he spoke. “Between me and Kenny?” You pulled him close to you as you started to sway to the music. You weren’t dancing at anywhere near the right tempo for what was playing, but you couldn’t care less.

“Enough to know that one of us should have made a move years ago,” You cooed, leaning into him further as you spoke. You purposely brushed your thigh against his clothed crotch, taking in his soft gasp and the way his hands clenched from where they had settled on your waist. “You know, out of all the nights I’ve dreamt about you and the things I’d do if I got the chance, I never took you for being a bit of an exhibitionist. You got off on people watching us back there, didn’t you?”

“Well- I- Uh-” He stumbled over his words, the tips of his ears were bright red, and he couldn’t meet your intense gaze. With a smirk, you grabbed his face in your hand, squishing his cutely flushed cheeks together as you made him look at you. You didn’t have to repeat yourself. He knew what you were saying. “Yes, I did.”

“I don’t know if I should praise you or punish you for being such a slut,” You teased. You had let go of his face to once again thread your fingers through his hair as you had while playing spin the bottle. Using the leverage you had on him, you pulled him in, hovering your lips over his but not actually kissing him. “What do you think?”

“Both,” He whispered. You could feel him struggling slightly against the grip you had on his hair to attempt to press his lips against yours, but all it did was cause you to pull his hair. The moan that he let out was unlike anything you had heard before. With a small giggle, you tested this out, voluntarily pulling on his hair again. You watched his lips snap together in an attempt to stifle the second moan, but it didn’t do much to help.

“Seven minutes in heaven!” Bebe announced, interrupting your moment with Kyle. His eyes pleaded with you to ignore it, but a plan formed in your mind that you couldn’t refuse. Your hand slipped from his hair, trailing down his neck, shoulder, and arm until you reached his hand.

“We’d better not keep them waiting,” You feigned as much innocence as you could when your mind was full of pure and utter filth. Holding his hand, you pulled him over to where the circle was regrouping after people had drunk more and danced a little. “How are we doing this?”

“Might as well spin the bottle again,” Stan shrugged, holding up another empty bottle. “Unless anyone else has a better idea?”

“Spinning the bottle sounds perfect,” You smiled, letting go of Kyle’s hand to sit back down next to Bebe. She gave you a knowing look after her eyes landed on a bewildered Kyle as he settled down next to Stan. “I have a plan, and you’re going to allow it.”

“Y/N’s up first!” Bebe grinned at the rest of the group. Stan placed the bottle down, and you leaned over to ‘spin’ it. Instead of actually spinning it, you manually turned it around once before lining it up with Kyle. You didn’t wait for anyone to call you out and make you actually spin it before you got up again, walking over and pulling Kyle up by the front of his shirt. 

“That’s cheating!” Cartman pointed accusingly. “You can’t do that!”

“Go cry about it, fucker,” You glared at him for a second, but your eyes mostly focused on Kyle as you pulled him up the stairs and to what you knew to be the spare bedroom in Clyde’s house. He trailed after you like a little lost puppy, not saying a word. He was already completely at your will, and you loved it. “Seven minutes isn’t long for what I have planned for you… But we’ll make it work.”

“What do you have planned?” He asked. You could hear how nervous yet hopeful he was, and it made you melt. He was so obviously already putty in your hands, and you hadn’t even started.

“Strip for me and lay on the bed,” You instructed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before gently pushing him backwards and towards the bed. While he was distracted, you slipped your underwear off and stuffed it in your bra so you’d be able to find it later.

Kyle followed your request until he got to his boxers, where he hesitated. You could see the obvious tent that had formed, and your mind went wild. You had spent what was admittedly far too long staring at him when he played basketball, paying close attention to his shorts in order for just an idea of what he was hiding there, but nothing could have prepared you for when he finally took his boxers off. He was bigger than you had anticipated. You were almost intimidated by it, but you were more than ready to accept the pain that would first appear for the pleasure that would soon follow.

You couldn’t wait for him to lie down on the bed. In a split second, you pounced on him, pinning him to the bed and straddling him. Thanks to your lack of underwear, his hard member slid against your folds, and a shared moan rang out through the room.

“Fuck foreplay. I need you in me now,” You shook your head, abandoning your plans to tease and edge him until the last possible second. You only had seven minutes, and you planned to use every single one of them, milking him for all you could. “Do you want this?”

“Yes!” He nodded eagerly.

“Yes, what?” You couldn’t help but tease him just a little bit more.

“Please!” He had barely finished the word when you sunk down onto him. You were already so turned on that he slid in with ease. The way he stretched you out hurt at first, but as expected, the pain quickly morphed into pleasure after you slid yourself up and down a couple of times.

Kyle’s moans were loud, pathetic, and the hottest thing you had ever heard, but you knew it wasn’t wise for him to continue at that volume. As much as you wanted everyone to know that he was yours and you were the one making him feel that way, you knew him well enough that the post-bliss clarity would embarrass him to no end.

“Baby, you need to keep quiet,” You cooed. Your hand traced up his bare chest and settled at his neck. You didn’t squeeze, just pressed down ever so slightly. Your goal of keeping him quiet was ruined by the even louder moan that slipped from him at this. “Do I need to gag you?”

“Yes,” He blurted out immediately, taking you by mild surprise. You felt him twitch slightly inside you, signifying just how serious he was.

“What should I use-” You paused, an idea forming in your mind. You pulled your balled-up underwear from your bra, holding it up in front of him as you slowly rolled your hips to match his thrusting up into you. “I suppose I could use my panties?”

“Yes! Please!” He nodded desperately as best as he could when your hand was still on his throat. “Yes!” His thrusts up into you had gotten sloppy, so you released his throat while you shoved your underwear in his mouth to gag him and used your now free hand to hold his hips in place.

“You look so pathetic and desperate right now,” You smiled, picking up the pace to try and chase the tension that was quickly building inside you. Using your free hand, you started to circle your clit with two fingers, softly moaning at the feeling. You wanted to throw your head back and lose yourself in the pleasure, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of Kyle’s as they looked up at you. There was a hazy look to them. He looked so submissive for you. “You’re such a good boy, letting me use you like this.”

The mixture of degradation and praise was clearly getting to Kyle in the best possible way. Below you, you could feel his thighs starting to shake as he drew closer and closer to finishing. The temptation to edge him was significant, but you had to be wary of the time you had left. So, instead, you did your best to grind onto him at as fast a pace as you could manage, your fingers matching the speed on your clit.

The panties in Kyle’s mouth barely muffled the pathetic moans and whimpers that came from him as you felt his seed spill inside you. You were on the pill, but you’d grab a Plan B from Bebe the next morning just to be careful.

As you rode out his orgasm, you reached your own. Both your fingers on your clit and your hip movements became messy as your body shook with what you were sure was the most intense orgasm you had ever had in your life. Your back was arched, and your head flew back as you rode out the final waves of aftershock before collapsing against Kyle’s chest.

“Are you okay?” Kyle asked, having reached up to remove your underwear from his mouth. He asked with such genuine care that you almost forgot the situation that had led to it.

“More than okay,” You nodded with a sleepy smile. As much as you wanted to just sleep there like that, cuddled up against his chest, you knew you were only moments away from one of the other partygoers bursting in and finding the position you were both in. Reluctantly, you pulled off of him. The feeling of his seed dripping down the inside of your thighs as he pulled out threatened to turn you on again if you thought too much about it.

“Uh… Here,” Kyle held out your panties to you as he sat up with you, one hand subconsciously holding onto your waist to keep you steady. You looked at them and lowered his hand, shaking your head.

“Keep them,” You told him, a small smirk emerging on your lips. “Until next time, at least.”

“Next time?” His breath hitched at the implications of those two words. You wanted there to be a next time. You wanted to do that again.

“Next time.”

#kyle broflovski #south park fanfiction #kyle broflovski fic #south park fic #south park kyle #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski smut #kyle x reader #sp kyle smut #sp kyle #south park smut #south park

[derivativealigner]

New chapter of Caffetamine!

Craig and Kenny share a tense car ride as they go find Tweek, whose phone is still off

#sp creek #sp crenny #crenny #my fics #south park fic #it took me a while to get back to this because real life was a struggle #but im back to posting now #hopefully somewhat regularly

[akaritheotaku]

Okay, so I've heard that it's like- the superpower of this hellsite (affectionate) to find random ass fanfics from random corners of the internet, so I need help.

Does anyone know how to find this one South Park fic where the reader is hired to be Butters' babysitter during covid only to realize that Linda and Stephen have left? The reader takes Butters in as their own and helps him through his trauma and stuff? It's so sweet and it makes me so happy. I thought I had it in my liked, but either I can't find it because I'm blind, or I unliked it, or it's been deleted? I don't know, but uhh- if anyone knows how to find it, I would appreciate that!

#help me find this fic #find this fic #south park #south park fic #butters #butters stotch #butters leopold stotch

[fayoftheforest]

Fay's Fic Rec Friday #3!

✨This week’s prompt is: Share a fic that could help someone get out of a reading slump! ✨

This is definitely not my cheeky way of trying to get out of my own reading slump that I’m in right now, no siree ;)

For this prompt, I’ll put forward the fic that got me out of my last slump, “✓✓ Read” by Boyue. This is a Stan/Kyle slice of life chatfic with a healthy helping of angst!

@cool-island-songs recommended it on a server wayyy back in October of last year (wasn’t even in conversation with me, I was just eavesdropping and yoinked the link >:) and I still haven’t stopped thinking about it since then. The brilliant, witty dialogue lends itself perfectly to the medium, making it so fun and easy to read. I hadn’t managed to bring myself to finish a fic in weeks, but it sucked me in so fast that I devoured it in just a few days. For anyone who’s also struggling to actually get into fics at the moment, I’d highly recommend this one! Just start skimming the first chapter, and you’ll know right away if you’ll be hooked or not :D

Now it’s your turn! What favourite fic of yours would you recommend to someone who’s looking to recover from a reading slump? Let me know in the reblogs, tags and replies :)

AO3 Collection || Week One || Week Two

(Tag list below the cut. If you'd like to be notified when the fic rec prompts are posted, please interact with this post ^-^ Feel free to offer recs for any of the previous weeks as well!)

Tag list: @knightinink @crows-eat-socks @sapphicrobolone @heliotechnics

#fay's fic rec friday #south park #south park fic #sp style #week three

[h-harleybaby]

Chapter 1, the beginning (B)

New Kid follows the path before them, seeing a familiar glimpse of someone they know. Yet… he's purple? They see him moving past a couple dust bunny creatures and promptly disappear, and with a quiet sigh, New Kid begins to blow away the defenseless dust bunny creatures. The top halves of them blow away with a scream. One by one they blow them away until New Kid reaches the very last one, blocking a path forward. With a roll of the eyes, they blow away the top to be met with a high-pitched yell and a bright purple Cartman who's in a 'fighting' stance.

Once Cartman realizes it's only the New Kid he sighs in relief, crossing his arms with a proud smile.

"Oh! It's only you New Kid… Don't scare me like that again! Next time I might like… break your arm or somethin'…" The shirtless bastard yells at them, stepping out of the dust bunny and sneezing. And again, and again. Once he's done with his sneezing fit, he looks around, eyebrow raised as he frowns.

"Silent as always, yeah Douchebag? Well, we gotta find a way out of here… where even IS here anyways? DOESN'T MATTER! You got us in this mess, now you gotta get us out!" Cartman yells quickly before even giving them the chance to answer his question. He seems a little shifty, quick to put the blame on New Kid before he's able to be accused. There's something he knows, yet New Kid doesn't question it, knowing there's no point. All they can do now is be annoyed yet again, now that Cartman calls them Douchebag and not their name. Years of convincing everyone in South Park to not call them New Kid or Douchebag down the drain, god fucking damn it.

New Kid sends a glare toward Cartman before getting in front of him after their shirtless friend grumbles something about leading the way out of this new… world.

“What? You wanna make this a fucking race Douchebag? FINE!" Cartman all but shouts, running in front of New Kid, only running a few feet and going down what looked to be a mudslide before falling on his ass. By the time New Kid got down, their friend was putting his hands on his knees, wheezing. As they focus on their friend who sounded like a dying dog, Cartman looks up and squints in confusion.

"H- good lord- HEY! Some guy’s waving at us? The fuck does he want?" He says, very much out of breath. Though he can only catch his breath for a moment before spades are sent down to him with the intention of harm. When the spades hit the ground, they explode into a burst of lightning that makes him screech despite the attack missing him. Cartman barely spares New Kid a glance before screaming to run and starting to run away. The man was yelling profanities the entire time, desperately trying to dodge the spades in hopes of not getting electrocuted.

As New Kid runs they see a health bar and a glowing red heart in the middle of their chest. When they're distracted, they get hit with one of the spades. As the spade touches the small heart it explodes into a burst of lightning, sending them stumbling back and losing a small portion of their health bar. With a frown, New Kid continues to run after Cartman, this time being more careful with their dodging.

New Kid only rejoins Cartman for a moment before he shouts something like "Down here!" and slides down a similar mudslide, only this time it was wider. As they slide down they dodge various spades that fly at them, some practically crackling as it whizzes past them. New Kid can feel themself twitch violently as another of the spades hits the glowing red heart, yet there's too much adrenaline coursing through their veins to care enough at the moment.

After a good minute of sliding and dodging various spades, New Kid falls onto the ground, seemingly left alone now. They look at their pitiful health bar and wince at how low it is before finally stumbling up, seeing Cartman in the distance. As New Kid staggers to Cartman, he looks almost uninterested before turning to them, a small smile on his face as he snorts.

"Oh good, you're not dead, sick! You, uh- know what the hell this place is? … Yeah me neither. You think there's anyone up in that castle?"

New Kid looks at Cartman, their eye twitching while they stay silent. There's a sparkle in the distance in front of the castle, they feel almost… compelled to go towards it. As they do, they feel warmth start to envelop them. They put their hands on the sparkle, almost cradling it gently while warmth spreads through their limbs and their health bar slowly climbs back to full. A black textbox appears in front of them once more, and weird music starts to play in the background as a different disembodied voice speaks.

RETURN TO TITLE

CONTINUE <-

#h harleybaby needs help #harley won’t shut her mouth #south park fandom #south park fanart #south park art #south park #south park cartman #south park au #south park comic #south park fanfiction #south park fic #cartman south park #cartman #eric cartman #sp cartman #cartman fanart #South Park x Deltarune #South Park x Deltarune AU #new kid sp #south park new kid

[sansxfuckyou]

It won't suck (we have each other)

Summary: Kenny isn't really the type to make promises, and Kyle isn't really the type to keep them either.

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, pseudo-immortality, implied suicide, check Ao3 port for full tags.

Authors Note: okay so maybe this a little bit too angsty for day one, promise that tomorrows is a lot lighter than this. Day ones prompt was engagement/promise, and I chose promise, hope ya'll enjoy, and if ya do maybe consider dropping a reblog or checking out the Ao3 port and leaving a comment

"Kenny, I'd do anything for you," Kyle said, reaching for his can of ginger ale once more.

"You'd do anything for me?" Kenny asked tentatively.

Kyle glanced over to Kenny with a raised brow, "Yeah just about."

"Promise me that if I want to die, you'll kill me," Kenny said bluntly, forcing it out of his throat as fast as he could. Sheer shock washed over Kyle at the notions of killing Kenny, he, he knew he would come back. He'd die by the end of the week anyways, Kyles throat was dry, he was having a hard time forming an answer.

"What?" The word came out cracked and weak.

Kenny glanced to the ground, tapping cut nails along the aluminum of his can. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," Kyle answered with, spitting the word was he spoke, "Why the fuck would you make me promise that?"

Kenny stayed silent, tentatively reaching to raise his parka hood.

Kyles brought his hands to push it back down and Kenny looked absolutely ashamed of himself. Regret played itself on his face with ease, he just wanted to hide. Kyles expression softened, "Kenny," He spoke quietly, voice a calm tenor. He used to sing soprano, it'd be a shock to anyone who didn't know him when he was a kid.

Kenny didn't speak, refusing to look Kyle in the eyes.

"Why would you ask me to promise that?" Kyle asked gently.

Still, Kenny refused to say a thing.

A gentle grasp came to tilt his chin and lean him to face Kyle, "Kenny, please tell me."

"Shit sucks ass sometimes okay?!" Kenny snapped, words escaping him roughly and he hated how mad he sounded because he really wasn't.

He just didn't like to talk about it, it was like a fresh wound and every word was simply salt or lemon juice being thrown into it. He edged away from Kyle and took a swig of his drink, he shuffled awkwardly until he was pressed against the arm rest of the couch. He placed down his empty can and reached to grab an unopened one, he cracked it open with practiced ease. The fizzing sound was the only thing that filled the silence.

Kenny heaved a heavy sigh, "Sorry for snapping at you like that."

Kyle didn't respond, scouring his mind for the right words.

"I, I'll leave, I've already had way too much of your guys food," Kenny said as he stood up, reaching for his hood and flipping it up, "What a fucking waste letting me have some."

Kyle was still paralyzed because his best friend, his immortal best friend, wanted to die. And he wanted Kyle to do whatever it took to kill him and make sure he stays dead.

"See you at school," Kenny said as he tugged up his zipper a little bit, starting on his way to the door. He tried his very hardest to keep his voice even because he just bared his soul and he isn't even given a response, "Bye Kyle."

"Wait," Kyle begins to the best of his ability, and Kenny doesn't. He opts to meander over to Kenny, "Kenny wait."

Kenny doesn't respond aside from a partially muffled, "I'm going home."

A hand latches onto his wrist and Kenny freezes entirely, turning to glare down Kyle. His eyes are watering, and his voice shatters as he speaks, "Yeah?"

"Can you," Kyle takes a steadying breath, "Can you tell me more? Before we come to like, a full promise?"

"Sure," Kenny managed to choke out, "Totally bro."

"Wanna talk about it in my room, or on the couch?" Kyle asked as gently as he could manage.

"When are your parents coming back?" Kenny asked, voice wavering just a little bit more.

Kyle glanced to the clock, "Couple hours, it's plenty of time."

"Couch," Kenny said quietly before being tugged over to the aforementioned furniture gently.

Kyle sat down on one side of the couch and Kenny on the other, his full can of soda pop still fizzled. No matter how parched he felt he refused to grab it and take a sip, he already had one, that's plenty.

"You know how sometimes I don't come to school?" Kenny asked, voice muffled by the thick orange fabric layers of his parka, Kyle still understood him perfectly.

"Yeah, totally man," Kyle said, "Usually on testing day."

Kenny nodded, he pushed off his parka a little bit, hand resting tentatively at his neck. He pressed at where the rope once rested, pulled tighter and tighter, "I sort of, took the easiest way out of school- don't use nooses by the way, they suck."

Kyle just gave a vague gesture for him to continue.

"And like, guns are too loud, don't use them unless everyone is out of the house," Kenny said, a nervous chuckle on his voice, "I'm getting off track- sometimes I want to die for a day, a whole twenty four hours. Spend some time in the afterlife you know, me and Damien play chess you know? He's shit at it honestly-"

"Kenny, focus," Kyle said, the slightest hint of agitation on his voice.

"Right, shit, sorry," Kenny answered with, rambling out apologies. He absently reached for the can of pop, he retracted his hand, "Basically, I like being dead sometimes, but I don't always wanna do it."

"And you want me to do it for you?" Kyle asked, he got a nod in response.

"Yeah, pretty much," Kenny said.

"Text me when it happens and I'll be there," Kyle said, holding out a hand.

Kenny took it in a shake, "Thanks man."

"No problem bro," Kyle said as calmly as he could manage.

He almost felt bad about crossing his fingers.

-/-/-/-

The message came at four in the morning and Kyle barely dragged himself out of slumber to respond to check it. The simple, and easy 'Kyle.' properly capitalized and with a punctuation mark. Kenny never used capitalization, or sent short messages, or used punctuation-

Wait.

That's the call, that's the signal. They should've agreed on one beforehand but Kyle can't think of what else it could be. He types back a quick 'omw' as he gets out of bed as quietly as possible. He tugs on his slippers and types out a 'hang tight' before grabbing his jacket and making his way to the door.

He pauses, he'd get caught if he's too loud. He glances to his window, is he really gonna go trek on over to Kennys house in negative temperatures with slippers on? No, he absolutely is not- he wants to pull Kenny out of it but he is not chancing losing his toes to frostbite.

He pushes his bedroom door open as quietly as he can manage before slowly shutting it once more. Urgency laces his slowed actions in a pathetic attempt to stay quiet, he leans his weight on the boards that don't creak. He slides on his boots as fast as he can and fastens the buckles, he barely grabs his hat on the way out.

Please wait, please wait, please wait.

He sees stray dogs as he speed walks down the icy road, he forgot his mittens at the door. He stuffs his hands in his pockets.

Please wait, please wait, please wait.

Maybe he should've grabbed a coffee on the way out, he'll definitely fall asleep in the middle of class today. He fumbles uselessly for the one piece of snack food in his pockets and tears open the packing.

Please wait, please wait, please wait.

He traverses through the barbed wire and broken bottles in Kennys backyard to reach his window. He taps on the glass and hopes it doesn't crack more.

God fuck, Kenny please wait.

The window slides in and he's instantly hit with relief like it's a semi-truck. He climbs in and drops down finding Kenny clearly on the verge of tears and holding out a knife. Kyle takes it and throws it out the window, before Kenny can answer with a loud what the fuck?! a hand is placed over his mouth. He only glares.

"Do you want to wake up your parents?" Kyle asked in a hushed tone.

Kenny shook his head.

"I am going to remove my hand you're gonna talk quietly, and stand still or sit on your bed," Kyle instructed, "Understood?"

Kenny nodded and Kyle removed his hand.

The McCormick instantly made his way to sit down on his bed, it was a crappy bed, one or two springs stuck through the fabric and cushioning but they were covered in blankets and pillows. He laid down on his side and Kyle quietly walked over and sat down behind him.

"You said you would do anything for me," Kenny got out quietly, his voice cracked.

"Almost anything," Kyle corrected, "Wanna talk about it?"

Kenny shook his head viciously.

"Wanna just sit here?" Kyle asked.

"I want to die, and stay dead," Kenny said bluntly, "Can't do that though, weird ass fucking curse."

Kyle paused, "I'm not killing you."

"Yeah, you threw out the knife, and the gun broke and there's no rope," Kenny said bitterly as he rolled over to curl into Kyle, a couple tears sliding down his face, "I'm sorry."

"Dude, it's fine," Kyle said, drumming his fingers on Kennys forearm, "Totally fine."

"I'll make it through the day," Kenny said as he rolled back off of Kyle who stood up.

"So, my work here is done?" Kyle asked, stepping dangerously close to the window.

"Can you stay for a bit longer?" Kenny asked as he propped himself on his elbows.

Kyle launched himself back onto Kennys bed, the frame creaked in dismay at the suddenness. He wore a grin, "Of course my good sir."

Kenny gave a small smile, "Thanks."

Kyle held open his arms and leaned on Kenny before squeezing him tight, "Thanks for calling me over."

"I'd rather be dead right now," Kenny said dismissively and Kyle let go of him, "I didn't say stop."

"I won't," Kyle said, returning to smothering Kenny in a hug, squeezing the air out of him, "Love you bro."

"Pretty gay," Kenny said, drawing out the 'E' as he spoke.

"So are you," Kyle answered with, bringing up a thumb to wipe away the few tears on Kennys face.

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