shawnjacksonsbs

[shawnjacksonsbs]

"Far be it from me, and forgive me for asking, and I don't mean to pry, but would you consider yourself a happy person?" 4-13-24

"How many of us, I wonder, can recall a childhood moment when we experienced happiness as a state of being? That single moment of untarnished joy. That moment when everything in our world, inside and out, was all right. Everything was all right. But, now, we've become a colony of adults and everything is all wrong, all the time. It's as if we're on a quest to get it back and yet the more we focus on our own personal happiness, the more it eludes us. In fact, it's only when we are otherwise engaged, you know, focused, absorbed, inspired, communicating, discovering, learning, dancing, for heaven's sake, that we experience happiness as a by-product, a side-effect. Oh no. We should concern ourselves not so much with the pursuit of happiness, but, with the happiness of pursuit." - Professor Coreman from Hector and the Search for Happiness

I watched.

I watched Hector expecting, eh. . .

but he ended up finding his silver (-ish).

I learned, what most probably already know, most of us don't have the money or the means to go all- eat, pray, love in the search for happiness.

We have to try and find it here, in our . . .stuckness, which is inherently part of the problem in itself.

A little traveling and moving can work wonders on those of us who needed a journey of discovery to find our truth.

I am one of the fortunate ones in that respect. I think I'm somewhere between the poor inner urban kid/poor white trash kid from the country - and that eat, pray, love shit. Lol no lol

~some notes, not edited:

Writing all the time letting you all know how I found it.

May not even work for some of you.

Do you even know what makes you happy?

And are you a happy person?

~more, unedited:

Happiness, just like the rest of my emotional states are . . .varying and in bouts, with peace and joy at the pulpit.

~even more:

Happiness as a state of being probably hasn't existed inside of me since before the fear of knowing "life's not forever" really took hold of me.

Early childhood, probably. It's been bouts ever since.

What is happiness?

Are you happy?

Ask me as a question looking back on a limited amount of my time, and my answer will be yes . . .now.

That wasn't always so.

In the now, it may or may not be, but inevitably, it's always on a rising curve, for grading purposes. At least it has been for about the last 10 years or so. Lol no lol

Ever changing, ever learning, ever growing, and of course, ever grateful.

Almost, always, like as almost to always as you can get without being actual always, I am at peace.

It feels so . . .always most of the time.

Its close enough to constant for me to say, always.

~end of notes.

Hector and the Search for Happiness did play me. I shouldn't have prejudged. I hoped it would be good and it surpassed that. I really liked it.

Instead of one final quote at the end, I'm going to share Hector's list from his journey. If you get a chance go watch the movie. Let me know whatcha think.

Remember to share your love and your laughter with all the rest of us.

And please be kind as always as possible. Civility is only the back up plan. Lol

Until next time;

"1. Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.

2. A lot of people think happiness means being richer or more important.

3. Many people only see happiness in their future.

4. Happiness could be the freedom to love more than one woman at the same time.

5. Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story.

6. Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness.

7. Does this person bring you predominantly a. up b. down?

8. Happiness is answering your calling.

9. Happiness is being loved for who you are.

10. Sweet Potato Stew!

11. Fear is an impediment to happiness.

12. Happiness is feeling completely alive.

13. Happiness is knowing how to celebrate.

14. Listening is loving.

15. Nostalgia is not what it used to be." - Hector

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Second hand, second thoughts? Or just another plea. Seriously tho, WWFRD? 4-6-24

"When all religions combine, a modern human is born.

Without integration, there is no dawn, just endless mourn." - Abhijit Naskar

I didn't know what to write about at first. So, I started to work on my description for Pawpaw's Storytime.

I figured I know what I'm reading, so being able to write about it in a related fashion would be . . .easier(?). Right? Lol

With Ramadan wrapping up in the next few days, I'm going to read a story called Max celebrates Ramadan. So I started looking up quotes, and I ran into this beauty.

I'll use it as my ending quote for this entry.

I don't know if it's popular or if I'm odd man out, but with my incessant push for better inclusion in every part of my life, I thought it was cool and my blog was the perfect spot for it.

Some days are more diary entries, others are requests for peace, and still others are my way of offering ways to places I've come to. All are me, pieces of the entire me.

The same peace and gratitude that I try to pass along to you, I want for others too.

Sometimes it's sharing a poem, or a story of art, or life, or . . .

I guess I'll wrap this one here.

This take is different, but as you read, do you not sense the urgency?

I am not alone, we are not alone. The only ones who are alone have chosen that, against their will, or just accepted.

As per usual, I'd love to hear, thoughts. And please be kind, and remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around you.

Until next time;

"Chrismadan (The Sonnet)

What happens when two ancient cultures come together!

They create a spectacular specimen called dervish advaitin.

When mistletoe and menorrah combine, heart shines brighter,

Beyond belief 'n disbelief, there's a land most enlightening.

Keep your outdated sectarian identities to yourself,

I am Jewistian, Hinduslim, or simply Human Universal.

Be the next civilized step of humankind's evolution,

Not just another savage vessel of mistakes ancestral.

Revitalized by Ramadan, humanized by Christmas,

Let's celebrate Chrismadan, as well as Hanukkawali.

Instead of carrying on as second-hand savages,

Habibi come, let us start living with humanity!

When all religions combine, a modern human is born.

Without integration there is no dawn, just endless mourn." - Abhijit Naskar

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Getting to the meat of the deal. 3-30-24

"Once our idea of Heaven meant

all the dead relatives waiting

on the kept lawns of the many mansions

as if, suddenly sinless, they had nothing to do." - Deborah Digges

I have finished my self-imposed prerequisite reading material, the Age of Reason by Thomas Paine, and the Simple Faith of Mister Rogers by Amy Hollingsworth.

I have lots of [new] notes already, too.

Both were very good reads in their own rights, plus they played a kind of balancing act with my mind as I went back and forth with them in sections, so, I wouldn't unintentionally lean harder in one direction more than another.

The open-mindedness needed for the next part is gonna take everything I got to stay on point, and how . . .and why. Lol

Now, I am to start the bible portion of this project. Starting at the beginning and reading all the way through while collecting scriptures, in note form to be used in the new book, specifically omitting all parts debatable. So that only those that would transcend . . .all beliefs, or lack of belief, are what's left and usable.

I'm already at my first, dilemma, or my first struggle of a decision.

Although I will be reading every word from 2 different versions, a New King James Version (NKJV), and the C.S. Lewis New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) I wonder where to draw my line in the sand.

Practically, I imagine I could leave out some whole selections as the probability that the whole book, such as Genesis, or whole groups of them found in the Laws as example, won't be found agreeable,

or

I skip to the verses that could be not seen as . . .superstitial(?). So I'd start with like;

Genesis 1:13, So the evening and the morning were the third day.

Then to;

Genesis 1:19, So the evening and morning were the fourth day.

Then;

Genesis 1:23, So the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

Etc, etc.

I struggle with even adding things historical from some of this because it's not, all . . .believable.

I don't think anyone denies that there was a third day, or a fourth day, or even a fifth, regardless of where they drew their conclusion.

So . . .?

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I imagine I have several more, relative struggles awaiting me in the upcoming weeks? months? years? Yikes.

How long does it take to read the Bible straight through, especially, with slow starts, transcribes, pit stops, and rereadings. Lol This is gonna be a lot.

I wonder if I'll feel like it was worth it when I'm done, like I feel like it is now as I start.

Wish me luck.

I'm gonna need it. Lol

Until next time;

"I have identified so many times that sudden

earnest spasm of the throat in children,

or in the jaundiced faces of the dying,

the lower eye-lids straining upward.

Fear needs its metaphors.

I’ve read small helplessnesses make us material. . ." - Deborah Digges

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Once you are real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. 3-23-24

“You become.

It takes a long time.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept." - Margery Williams

The opening and closing quotes, are the same piece from the Velveteen Rabbit. A book which I have not yet read. Yet!

I felt the quote in my core when I saw it though.

The body of this entry is another piece that made me . . .feel something deep.

But the words belong to William Shakespeare, not me. Lol

They make me recognize, again, that mercy is usually better given when grace is better acknowledged.

~"The quality of mercy is not strained;

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest;

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:

'T is mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes

The throned monarch better than his crown:

His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,

The attribute to awe and majesty,

Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;

But mercy is above this sceptred sway;

It is enthronèd in the hearts of kings,

It is an attribute to God himself;

And earthly power doth then show likest God's"~? !!

That's it for this week guys. No long hanging, words of wisdom or inquisitive hangups, that are rarely received. My hope is that you got even a small amount of the feels from this as I did.

Now, keep up with the kindness, reflect and seriously find your gratitude, and then of course, be sure to share your love and your laughter with the world around you.

Until next time;

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” - Margery Williams, from the Velveteen Rabbit (both quotes)

[shawnjacksonsbs]

[shawnjacksonsbs]

A later, bonus

Maybe part B (?)

A central theme to Mister Rogers' Neighborhood ?

Should be the theme for everybody's neighborhoods. 3-16-24

"He made it clear that it's less about determining who your neighbor is (i.e., who it is you're supposed to love, according to the biblical command) and more about establishing yourself as a neighbor by your show of mercy to others. Jesus transformed the question, "Who is my neighbor?" into the directive, "Be the good neighbor." - Amy Hollingsworth

Seems like the central theme through the New Testament, on how to treat others, has less and less to do with them, and more and more to do with you, the more you read and learn it anyway.

Weird, right?

What helps me get to know me? Like really!?

[If I know who I am, really know, then I don't need to hate.]-inspired in part by those I learn from.

They all help to teach me, about me. I learn alot, and regardless of the length of some of my entries sometimes I struggle with finding . . .right words.

"It also carries with it the idea that we become who were intended to be, by design, not just who we think we should be."

The more I learn, I feel hypocrisy, so the more I try and understand it, the more I learn what I think it means that too many others miss.

It's to be grace on lost deservingness.

I already feel undeserving constantly. So . . .

That stolen phrase, that I love;

I'm living a far better life than I deserve.

It feels true whether or not it actually is I don't really know.

The only difference is, I'm grateful for it, this life. Probably on a much deeper level than most people realize.

Had I not stopped that life all this years ago, I assure you I would not be here writing what you may, or may not, be reading.

I get that I get to.

Shut off hearts and closed up minds to those who don't live the way that they "should" . . .miss out on so much of the deepening that comes from understanding or trying to understand those that are different. All the while, I'm becoming more me than ever before.

We can learn a lot from each other if we turn down the hate and judgment and turn up the love.

Again, like always be kind, learn gratitude, and what if your god is that person you're judging and I'm treating them better than you and I don't even believe in your God.

Both of us at the pearly gates, can we say . . . awkward. (Granted, it'll be awkward for both of us, but man for totally different reasons) Lol

Your love and your laughter can only truly come from inspired reason or by faith. Choosing the latter is ok with me, as long as it's genuine.

C'mon.

Until next time;

“I think your mythology would call them fallen angels. War and hate are their business, and one of their chief weapons is un-Naming – making people not know who they are. If someone knows who he is, really knows, then he doesn't need to hate." - Progo from A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L’Engle

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Part- a, earlier

Cogito, ergo sum 8-8-21

“I think therefore I am” - René Descartes

Everything(s) that we do is just that. Literally a thing, that we do. It's a way of passing through our very short time here. From painting the Sacellum Sixtinum, to coaching little league baseball, to staying up all night smoking crack in a basement surrounded by people who correlate the word struggle to mean a way outside of themselves, but it's more about the -what- we do rather than the -what for-. Which, for those of us lucky enough to want more out of this life, perhaps it comes about at a later time as an internal journey, like it did for me, and millions of other . . . soul searchers. Soul searchers? Yeah, soul searchers.

I am because I can see that I am?

Yes, but no. I am because it’s obvious that I can see that I am now, but I am . . .even before I knew that I was too.

I read somewhere that the main function of our physical being is to haul the mind from appointment to appointment, that from the neck down we are just a means to an end. True? I mean maybe, even for me to see it.

The heart that I so passionately write about using and/or trying to use better, isn’t actually in your chest by the way. It's in your mind. The ability to reason, the ability to feel, etc, is from the organ inside your head.

The beat in your chest, which is absolutely important too, that implies purpose, is hyperbole, in my opinion. The only heart I'm concerned with when writing and living as an example of how to be kind, why to love my neighbors, and to objectify my gratitude, is the one found upstairs behind my eyes. Trust and believe that.

We can only love life in direct correlation to our level of perception, and that ability to reason that I always talk about. The heart and the mind are one and the same my friends. Parts, or pieces of the whole.

1 part heart + 1 part mind = 1 whole Shawn

I think that all those years I spent lost, and the more recent years that I've been trying to decipher ways of aligning them {the heart and mind}, were just to realize now that I was looking at them all wrong. They are not separate, except maybe as ideas. That realization is how I blended them together. It's a process. I still have a ways to go of course, but . . . It's why I believe it gets easier for me all the time. Because I know the connection between thinking and feeling is the source of our light. It's too important. And the level of brightness, or dimness, is up to us. Up to us to better understand that connection for ourselves. Patiently waiting for others to arrive is another lesson in, and of itself.

This learn•ed move, means that even though you couldn't see it before, because actions speak louder than words, that that feeling inside of me that has always been there, has, in fact, been me the whole time. Granted I had to change me but still . . . me nonetheless.

I am sorry, so very sorry for all those I hurt before, and as unfortunate as it is, the pain of me hurting over the pain of hurting others brought me to this point right here, limiting those deathbed regrets, and living life for love and hoping each day my journey helps me discover and uncover new and exciting things, mostly within, but hey . . .how I feel inside is why I am to you. That’s a thing to behold too. Lol Why I am to you, or why you are to me. Life should be lived as meaningfully as possible. Don’t you think?

Reconciling the heart and mind, is even more important than say that of the mind and body. I'd argue that without the former the latter isn’t completely available.

This reconciling holds actual resources used to differentiate between feelings, and how we feel about everything to include other human beings. Don't waste your resources on mindless, empty bullshit. Remember that life is a limited time offer. Compassion and empathy, for example, would seem like all heart, but without our ability to reason and judge, how would we know it means to care right? Its both. One compliments the other, in almost all of the most important aspects of our lives as humans.

The collective human race has such low expectations of one another these days that it's hard to evolve as a whole though. Individually we stunt growth as well because alone we are limited. We need others. Plain and simple. When we start to do better by each other, we'll be able to start holding higher expectations. Not the other way around. Better standards should be earned, like respect. Right? We show respect first then expect respect in return. Do better for better. We share this little planet and our time here with so many people. Why then is there so much hate? It’s crazy right?

If more people understood, and cared, what others feel, and not just about themselves. . . oh the changes that could happen. So, let’s continue to be kind, or at the very least be civil, and share your love and your laughter with the world as a whole. Then, together, we can light the way for more.

Until next week;

“I feel therefore. . . I really am” – Shawn Jackson

[shawnjacksonsbs]

"There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met." 3-16-24

"Why is it that when people die, we make such an effort to turn them into saints? Especially when the entire reason we love them so much in the first place is because they weren't." - Alison Angrim

Now, just hear me out.

I know that I write a lot of different things here, from my feelings on organized religion to promoting kindness to just expressing how I feel about the previous week and what happened with me, but I'm not really gonna do that today. Not unless you count the opening and closing quotes.

This week, I was wondering about a universal type of manifestation. But for it to be universal, I'm gonna need your help.

I want this for my grandlittles as much as I do for me. For that matter, doing it now ensures it's around for other future generations. It could possibly change the course of history, maybe for the better . . .

But I imagine we'll have to start with like comments, maybe some sharing and some think tanks (if that's you, please get on it).

It's important that they know them individually first. That's probably our step one. Then we start the push.

There's no doubt in my mind that if a "crossover" or team-up happened that it would be awesome 😎!

I don't know who to contact, or who could do it, but this needs to happen.

As always, your thoughts are welcome here. Please let me know how you feel, and then tell others.

#onedayordayone?

Help.

Please be kind to everyone you meet, even those not as enthusiastically welcoming of this idea.

Some people aren't here yet, and still some may never be, but we can't let that stop us from trying.

Remember to share your love and laughter with the world around you.

Until next week;

"You're a little monster with a big heart. You wear your emotions on your sleeve and always help your loved ones do the right thing, but that doesn't mean you can't be tough when necessary." - Grover

&

"That one thing that you must remember, or nothing that follows, will seem wondrous." - Gonzo

[shawnjacksonsbs]

And for fuck's sake, share your smile with that love and laughter. In that, you're already being kind to the world around you. 3-9-24

"Humans aren't as good as we should be in our capacity to empathize with feelings and thoughts of others, be they humans or other animals on Earth. So maybe part of our formal education should be training in empathy. Imagine how different the world would be if, in fact, that were 'reading, writing, arithmetic, empathy." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I love you.

I do.

All I've ever really wanted is for you to love me too.

Granted, the "who" I've wanted to love me has changed over the years, but from infant to right now, this very second, I've always wanted love.

My messed up past proved lots of wrong ways of dealing with the feelings of not getting it the way I thought I needed, or proving I loved in alot of similarly wrong fashion, but it's always about love.

Even that . . . wanting . . . acceptance . . . is a form of longing for love.

My capacity to love and receive love, healthily, has grown a bit in the last several years of my life.

Except now, the part that's changed is this :

I love you.

I do.

And I just want you to love me too.

Until next week;

"True love is like some infinite way of being that we become part of: a flowing energy of willingness, an eternal yes resounding with every heartbeat." - Gerald G. May

[shawnjacksonsbs]

A Peace of the Project, possibly. 3-2-24

"Unity to be real must stand the severest strain without breaking." - Mahatma Gandhi

I've come to believe that those of the religious persuasion don't truly recognize themselves as religion-affiliated.

They think that, since what they feel seems more spiritual in nature its better classified as a . . .spirituality.

And I mean that in the deepest and strictest sense of the word - a direct connect to the spirit.

The same spirit that they believe makes them who they are as a person(s).

To them, that spirit is an all or nothing. It's why you'd find it exhausting to try and talk then into, or out of, something that they feel goes against what they believe, even if that person only has the faith of a mustard seed.

You're not going to get a piece of their spirit, as it were. You might as well be asking them to give up a finger or an arm.

I mean, there are some pretty positive benefits to giving up an arm. In the immediate, a weight would be lifted, literally. No more 10-15 pound arm holding you back. That sounds pretty freeing. And think about no more having to write with that arm, feed yourself, etc, etc. But . . .even if all the benefits of getting rid of the arm outweighed the benefits of keeping the arm, they'd never get rid of a healthy arm, intentionally.

In this lies, conflict, aside from the burden of maintaining that.

But, so, is there another way through?

I believe we have options if we want them. If we're open to them.

One of which is . . .you guys never have to hold each other's hands if you don't want to.

I'll hold theirs, and I'll hold yours so that we can all still walk together.

~Atheism/Deism agnostic(?) Missionary Outreach

Please no LOL'ing. LOL

I get how that sounds like kind of a stretch, but . . .

The piece that might be of the project-

{I can't, fundamentally or otherwise, help lay the "common ground" work for this road of human connection, and truly love others, all others, without having, at least some respect for the fact that believers believe.

Not necessarily for who or what, but just that they do, in fact, believe.

Although, if I'm being entirely honest, I feel like the understanding of their individual when's, where's, how's, and why's could possibly strengthen the grip of all the hands we could hold, as we walk together down that road, toward our final destinations.}

Hmm, you got thoughts? As always, I'd love to hear them.

This project isn't free for me. It costs time, energy, and mental and emotional labor.

I believe it to be more like paying in on an investment that's worth its weight in gold before it evers pays its dividends, though.

High risk/high yield. It is for me, too.

Please keep sharing your love and your laughter with the world around you and always be kind first, ask questions later.

Until next week,

"We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond." - Gwendolyn Brooks

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Swifty? Or Swiftie?

Or

WWTSD? Hmm . . . 2-24-24

"Just because you understand the path you're on doesn't mean you won't feel the pain of it." - Patricia J. Hutchings

Since the entry I posted last week . . .

I saw the Bob Marley movie, One Love.

I felt the pain of my friends losing one of theirs, literally after he fell off.

Had an old friend find his way back to a good fellowship group (fingers crossed).

Had the transmission go bad in my work truck, while simultaneously having the means, and love to get it repaired.

Another member of my grandparents' generation passed. That number is super limited, and dwindling.

I watched Miss Americana, which made me like her even more. She's climbing the ranks of people I aspire to be like, love, respect, and why. (And she might be a superhero soon too, I mean, c'mon, could the universe be anymore obvious?).

I knew I was about love and peace, even gratitude, but am I Swiftie?

I mean, so far . . .it looks good.

~ full stop

Catching back up. I wrote that above the other day.

As an added bonus, I have granddaughters who adore her- Taylor Swift, I mean.

Her and her music, and who she is as a person, she obviously doesn't need my approval, but she has it.

Haters always gonna hate, but she is playing, and winning, I might add, and the only thing I'm seeing that we don't see eye to eye on is probably her religious affiliation.

But so, guess what she's in good company there, because she has that in common with a lot of my other inspirations(?), aspirations(?).

Calling them heroes seems mockingly pushing it, but maybe role models. Then again what's a hero to you? A champion? Maybe.

Looks like my grands have once again shown how truly smart they are, and if they continue to follow her, and people like her, and her ideals, I believe it'll take them far.

I'm even a fan of a few of her songs, and her ability to pull them into existence.

~another stop

Look, I have struggle in my life still, just like most everyone else, but. . .

But, I'm still at peace, even grateful for most of the struggle.

And my deathbed regrets list stays small.

Wishing a similar perspective for everyone else, is still the life I'm striving for.

Life is wonderful, and life is short, and a lot of people will never understand too many of its . . .relevancies(?). They wash over and dilute what they think they need for them to get through.

It's the hardest pill to swallow.

The young though, they are our hope.

And, and I love that she finally came around to using her platform to encourage others to see life, similarly.

A little outta left field with this entry?

Maybe?

Idk.

Idc.

Just keep sharing your love and your laughter with the world around you, and I'll do the same.

And remember that being kind is one of the greatest things you can ever be.

The combination of my granddaughters liking her,, and them Chiefs (lol), and if I'm being honest (the haters hating), all made me a fan of Taylor Swift.

Swiftie? Well, only time will tell.

I did read a short story about her during last week's Pawpaw’s Storytime, for those of you that follow. If you get a chance, go check it out. Lol

May be a special bonus tomorrow as well. 😉

Until next week;

"No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind." - Taylor Swift

[shawnjacksonsbs]

A personal revolution (?)

Maybe that's why. 2-17-24

"I believe we would be happier to have a personal revolution in our individual lives and go back to simpler living and more direct thinking.

It is the simple things of life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and rest . . .

~The true way to live, is to enjoy every moment as it passes and surely it is in the everyday things around us that beauty of life lies" - Laura Ingalls Wilder

Some people aren't here, and some will never make it.

Although, I'll never give up on "them", I need never lose my place in the world, and in this life.

I worked hard to get here. "Hard" being relative to how I went through things more than what I went through.

I still have vague recollections of the old me's way of thinking.

Some ugly, some innocent, all naive. I understand how the ones that never find their way out . . .can't, more than don't or won't.

Examples are key for any following . . .even the plantings of seeds will never take hold properly without it.

Examples of right living in concert with love, patience, and boundaries are still our best way.

I'm all ears for any other rational approaches.

But the whole point is to not lose my focus along the way.

My journey can include outside offers, but they'll be nil and void if I lose sight of my peace.

Knock on wood, that hasn't happened. And don't see that being a thing, like a real thing ever.

It's always, and forever, just this moment. Stop stringing extra days with ya. Yesterdays and tomorrow are away from today for a reason. Let them be in their own place.

I feel a weird connection, not just because of the morality of the show Little House on the Prairie, but also because of her little farmhouse museum in Mansfield that we visited.

I have childhood memories of family having similar family farm houses, same style, decor, even the same smell.

It's weird how nostalgic it feels. I don't know if I even know a better word to describe it.

I do appreciate that part of me that reads, or watches something new and can connect . . .with its goodness(es). That is definitely a character trait I grew into these last 10 years or so.

I wouldn't trade what's in my heart now for just about anything. Unless, it was a trade from my heart to that of every other person to know and accept the same...parts that connect us, for real.

It's super early in the week, and of course, a little day time reading brought it out in me again, so . . .remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around you. Giving kindness is a gift for all parties involved, maybe even some not involved.

Until next week;

"Right seems to be obscured and truth is difficult to find but if the difficulty of finding the truth has increased our appreciation of its value, if the beauty of truth is plainer to us and more desired, then we have gathered treasure for the future.

~We lay away the gleanings of our years in edifice of our character, where nothing is ever lost. What have we stored away in this safe place during the season that is past?

Is it something that will keep sound and pure and sweet or something that is faulty and not worth storing?" - Laura Ingalls Wilder

[shawnjacksonsbs]

I wonder.

I really do.

(Bonus entry) 2-16-24

"Anybody who unconditionally loves another human being for the goodness of their heart and nothing more is already on the right side [of God]." - Suzy Kassem

I wonder, a lot, actually.

I wonder a lot.

I wonder a lot about things like . . .

Let's suppose there's a person of faith. It probably doesn't matter which faith, as most of those we know of are pretty intolerant to people being gay.

If you are of this idea and/or belief system, I'm not necessarily here as an attack or an affront on what you yourself believe. We're allowed to disagree, so long as you keep it over there, but. . .

My point-

Let's say you feel like being homosexual should be regarded as less than in . . . rights, moral appeal, societal responsibilities, etc, etc.

Then one day you are at a religious affiliated group time, like a service at your local "home" church, synagogue, mosque, or wherever, or maybe it's doctrine study like a Tuesday night Bible study, whatever.

Now this a "family" type get together, so there's kids there, younger kids. Whether or not they're yours makes no difference, but for the purpose of this, they are.

Main topic, or side conversations are on homosexuality, and as hard as it is to stay on tactical point, (and some try), still disgruntled hate and opinionated judgment from most of the people are aired.

Pick your statement.

We all know what I mean here.

Conversing continues, maybe a leader tries to rectify how the approach is, or maybe they share in it, or maybe it's light enough to everyone present it isn't frowned upon.

Maybe it's just a sermon.

Your kid hears, some or all of it. Takes in some or most of it, and it resonates with them as you'd probably expect it would with a kid.

Now you're at home. Maybe it's a holiday or private family function.

Your or your spouse's gay brother or sister is coming over. You think to yourself, "It's whatever."

You know you don't agree with their lifestyle, but you love them in your own way, and you'd never actually treat them differently.

But your kid, or that kid, didn't understand that's a part of it.

They're confused because they loved their auntie or uncle with all their hearts.

Now they're acting different around them, to them. In their confusion, they act out a little bit. You honestly have no idea why.

After everyone leaves, you have a talk with them, and it turns out they heard and think they know they aren't supposed to like them.

You try to set them straight with a talk about "We disagree with their choice, but we don't treat them differently."

Loving the "sinner" but hating the "sin" doesn't sit in the same place for a child.

Their relationship with that special family member is forever tainted, and their little open mind (and heart) starts to close as they follow along with the most important people in their lives, their parents.

If my dad is a drug addict, chances are I'll be trying drugs, at the very least, at least once.

Children are impressionable beyond understanding.

If your intent is for this to be your kid, well, good luck with that turning out well. I feel for your kid so much that it hurts my heart.

If it isn't, CHANGE something before it's too late.

If you're the one making that impression and it's not your kid, then in your ignorance, intolerance, and bigoted judgment, you are still responsible, even if no one holds you accountable.

I know, that not everyone is here yet, some may never be, and I will never stop trying to reach for more of the common ground and to respect the difference, diversity, and beauty I find around me, but some of that shit needs checked.

Poisoning the minds of our young is a whole different thing to me.

Believe me, I'm working on things now that will be my contribution to that one day, but if I ever see that ignorance directly, or indirectly filling the mind of a child I'm allowed to approach they will know the other side of that hate if I have anything to say or do about it.

Rant over.

It just builds sometimes, and for so long without "fleeting" that if I don't let it out, it will consume me.

You can't really love a person that is doing something you "hate", if the thing they're doing is who they are.

Regardless of what you say, to them, and most of us, watching, you are saying that you hate them. 💯

As it turns out, there's just enough room in my heart for a little bit of hate, because I hate . . .hate.

Hate the hate, but love the hater? Is that a thing?

Learn better.

You're allowed to hate or feel hate, but why do you want to so badly?

Is that really one of the things you want to pass on to the young?

Please be more. Please.

Until tomorrow;

"Children who never learn to respectfully challenge authority or trust their own judgment grow up struggling to set boundaries, say no, and speak up for themselves. – Shelly Robinson

[shawnjacksonsbs]

The way it's supposed to. . .

Geez. 2-10-23

"The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." - Nathaniel Branden

Everything happens the way it's supposed to . . .right?

At least, that's what I tell myself.

Maybe it's because my notes were starting to show some biases that I do have, but, but maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe even more so, I shouldn't be including them in this project. Maybe? Or should I?

Needless to say that I lost all my notes I had in my phone when it fried out at the end of last month.

No data retrieval possible, so. . .I swallow that frustration and pity and now, I start fresh.

Maybe I'll re-read the first half of the books I'm using to fuel the startup,

"The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers" by Amy Hollingsworth and "The Age of Reason, the Complete Edition" by Thomas Paine, a founding father.

Maybe since I'm writing this note in my messenger first, I might scroll back through and see if I can find any other "lost" pieces.

This is where I am, aside from work being in full swing.

Other than losing the phone, things are going pretty well.

Although, to be fair, I feel like things are ok most of the time, like a lot of the time.

Either it's ok, or I damn sure know it will be soon enough, always.

It's not the end of the project. It's a new, new start.

I might have needed a mental regrouping. Only time will tell.

To train the brain to look forward to start over . . . That's a learned behavior I should have down cold.

Am I right? Or can I get Amem! Lolol

Anyways, that's it. I'm unloaded for the week. Thinks for thanking of me, and stopping by guys.

Be kind.

Be grateful.

Do the next right thing and share that beautiful smile of yours, along with your love and laughter with the world around you.

Until next week;

"Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." - William James

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Where is it we find peace? 2-3-24

"Buddha says "A child without courage is like a night without stars!" - Punjab

It's early.

Maybe 5:30 a.m. on this Friday morning and 4 am wake up calls . . .proves my age, I suppose.

On my mind . . .

A couple of the kids still out there in their struggles, trying their best to do it their way. And, although it isn't what I want for them, it is, in the end, on them.

Wanting to see successes from them regardless of how hard their head has to hit the wall, is something I'll carry with me always.

Love is unconditional.

Help and boundaries are not, or at least we try to hold tight, for everyone's benefit. Benefits not always seen in the short sight.

Umm, we are also going to have a few of the grands this weekend. Our youngest granddaughter had her first overnight here with her big sister, and when we take her home later her big sister will stay behind, as we wait for another granddaughter from a different family set to start a mini birthday party/sleepover celebration. Just the 2 of them. It's a little exciting, and it's always nice spending time with the grands.

Work is starting to pick up and get back on track. Starting the year with a couple of very decent jobs. Follow the Pride Fence Page for details and updates. Lol no lol

!~I had my 2 month old phone shoot craps at the beginning of the week. Usually, I imagine, most of us would start the nonstop adventure of replacing it asap. It's almost debilitating just accidentally leaving it behind or losing it. Am I right?

After printing map instructions to my job, like the Geico caveman, I had to head out because i had to be there no matter what.

I spent the day fighting all urges to call it quits and go get a new phone.

Feeling like a dopehead trying to not hit the pipe while still in the trap house, I made it through. At the end of the day, I went and got myself a new phone, new carrier, etc.

Other than just being beat out of about 2 months' worth of messages, pics, contacts, and overall data, I'm no worse for wear.

It did make me think about our way of life, though.

Like our, as in "OUR", big our, all of us here, at least in this country and culture.

Some of us older people might stand a bit better of a chance than the younger generation, but it would still be so devastating a collapse that recovery would feel impossible if we seriously lost all technology, or even just the internet.

Collapse.

Hard reset.

We depend so much on this stuff to maintain our way of life. Some may brag that they can live off the land etc, etc, but unless you're a backwood/mountain country person who only goes to town once or twice a year to trade, we would all be affected.

Obviously this happened the way it was supposed to, but man . . .I'm not looking forward to "suppose to" to be attached to the collapse of society.

I guess that empties my mind enough to restabilze my mental and emotional state for the week.

Thanx for taking time to hear me out.

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

And remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around, and be kind as always as possible.

We're all just a dead phone away from an uncomfortable day. Lol

Until next week;

"You love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back" - Grace Farrell

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Bonus entry, no quotes 2-2-24

We're all probably less than 6 degrees away from caring more about each other than we thought we ever would.

So please, if this touches you, or if any side of this is you, please let me know your heart in the comments.

A plea,

To:_____

From: me it's always me it's always gonna be me into the future it's still gonna be from me

Think about this for one second, with a completely open mind. You don't have to shut down at all because it's for you to take in internally. I don't need feedback. There is no need to "defend" yourself.

And please do all the research you want on the topic, I promise it's accurate.

In your mind, think about how you live. Like how you really live. Think about the "bad" things you do that we all know about, and now think about all the "bad" things you think or know, that we don't know.

Those are the things I really want you to focus on here.

Drugs, promiscuousness, gambling in excess, alcohol in excess, weed in excess, not being responsible for you and your life, or your child's, by working and paying your own way, excessive domestic fighting and arguing, and/or codependency issues, taking advantage of . . .anyone for your own selfish gain, etc, etc.

Statistically, the chances of your child growing up to be closer in character and attitude to who you are right now is greater than them not being like that.

Even the things you think they have no idea about or won't ever know about have a greater chance of inticing them in, because their favorite people in the whole world live in similar fashion.

Their chances for a better, happier, more productive life increase the sooner you stop living any of those ways and start showing them other, better ways to live.

The whole "be better than me kid" and "do what I say not what I do" are myths.

You are the perfect examples of how that way already failed.

I think all the time about how that same lifestyle is going to look on my grandkid. It's not very attractive on their parents, nor was it on my life.

If you think it won't happen to them, you're crazy and only fooling yourself. It is just a matter of time, if you don't start living differently, and giving them better examples.

You are the mold they're going to squeeze into, and you get to control what that mold looks like. You control the shape of it.

Right now, it's not good.

Just picture, like literally, imagine in your mind one of the last negative moments of your life you put yourself in, and then replace your image with theirs.

Did it make you uncomfortable? It should.

This isn't me getting on to you. I promise that my boundaries having conditions doesn't affect the unconditional love I feel.

I do worry about you, but this . . .this a plea for them.

They already have issues and brokenness that no kid their age should have.

It only gets worse, until you get better.

My worry for them causes me more loss of sleep at night than that for you because you're choosing this. They are not.

You're old enough now to understand that we messed up so bad that you think your relationship to your kid will be better, be different but you should absolutely know better.

Go do some research and then let me know what the chances for your kids' success are as of right now if you don't change.

I love you, and them.

Please help them, by helping you before we're all picking up a raped grandkid from the hospital or identifying the body of grandchild who overdosed.

And please, don't think for one second that being that "cool" aunt or uncle doesn't sound like fun for nieces and nephews either.

Just fucking stop killing their future peace and happiness.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

I feel like . . . 1-27-24

"Our feelings are not there to be cast out or conquered. They're there to be engaged and expressed with imagination and intelligence." -T.K. Coleman

You don't have to be a reader or even much of a thinker for this one.

Last week's entry, as per usual, didn't illicit the response I'd've liked to have seen.

It's a lot for some people, especially if the scrolling is a method of escape.

I get it.

Some interaction on the more important topics would still be nice sometimes, though. Lol no lol

I'm not holding any of you to anything, ever. I reconciled that way, way back with- everyone is fighting their own shit. So participating in every important thing every time, all the time would be impossible. Not to mention, even trying . . .just did exhausting.

. . .

Just about every emotion we ever feel can probably be traced back to 2 base emotions.

Love, or fear, or maybe both are probably underlying for what and why, you feel the way you do right now.

Now, I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that the more we understand ourselves, the easier we can learn better ways to control the emotional states we live in.

With me so far?

When you practice and really start honing in on love, things will get better, almost instinctively.

The way we view responsibilities, our capacity for patience, and our ability to empathize, all strengthen.

All we have to do is be mindful of the times we recognize and direct our thoughts the other way when we start to feel anger or hate. If we can tell ourselves it's probably based in a fear, it'll get easier and easier to address, and eventually curb.

Thoughts this time?

It is shorter, and an easier read, so fingers crossed.🤞

Keep sharing your love and your laughter with the world around you, to include kindnesses given until deemed unfit.

Until next week;

"If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far." - Daniel Goleman