Tango: THE SUN IS ON FIRE, I REPEAT, THE SUN IS ON FIRE!
Scar: THE OCEAN IS FLOODING! RED ALERT! THE OCEAN IS FLOODING!
Bdubs: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! THE EARTH IS SPINNING GUYS, IT'S SPINNING!
Zedaph: A MYSTERIOUS GAS HAS SETTLED ALL THROUGHOUT THE EARTH AND WE ARE CURRENTLY BREATHING IT IN!
Tango, Scar, Bdubs, and Zed: *run around screaming*
Keralis: Man, this server . . .
Artificer: hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water
Artificer: my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and the gods so thoughtlessly
Fighter: ... how does it taste?
Artificer: bad
Wizard: the fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is- as an acid- sour.
Wizard: By adding milk to sour water you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great.
Artificer: I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.