#ik why it feels almost over bc when i started reading then there was still 4 series we were waiting for and most of them have come out

[courting-trouble]

tell me why i’m already mourning the end of the shadowhunter chronicles when there’s still 5 whole books that still haven’t come out

#shadowhunter chronicles #chain of iron?? the black volume of the dead?? the ENTIRE wicked powers trilogy?? #ik why it feels almost over bc when i started reading then there was still 4 series we were waiting for and most of them have come out #but man the first twp book is going to feel like the end of an era #thank god it’s probably going to be almost 2030 before cassie’s done #tsc

[valyrou]

Hi!! Could I request dazai with a weird person? (Ik it's not the term, maybe artistic, maybe something else, weird is the only global term which isn't that wrong). Basically they're extremely drawn by art, notice the most niche and least noticeable things and 'it makes sense in my head sorry' is their daily sentence which leads them to feel alone and not understood. Like this with dazai would be interesting I think (like the dynamic, i cant go on bc its starting to get so long but the whole 'dont feel like a proper human being too' ahhh i cant put the right words). There again- I'm sorry it makes sense for me-

Anyway have a good day and sorry <33

A/n: Hello Anon!! Of course I can do that!! I am working on multiple requests at once, kinda overworking myself with studies and work and on top of that I have finals soon and I should study a bit more.. ANYWAYS I related to this a little too much so I think I know what you mean by „weird person that can’t really describe what they think“ kinda stuff. But this isn’t about me so I HOPE YOU ENJOYYY

Warnings: to lazy to read over this rn so not proof read at all.. ALSO INSPIRED BY „no longer human“ by osamu Dazai lol?? Don’t know why but here we are :) reader doesn’t have a gender aswell, so GN reader

Dazai x Misunderstood! Reader

You couldn’t quite remember how you got to the art gallery with Dazai, but here you stood Infront of an magnificent piece of art. You could see how old it was by the cracks and discoloration, yet the way it was drawn, with such delicacy was as if it was drawn only a few minutes ago to you. The emotions and thought behind it, still visible to your eye. The way the eyes of that women were slightly casted down, the dark colored theme, the way the posture was drawn, everything seemed so right.

That was something everyone could see, yet even the way the clothes hung from her body made an important difference to the picture „Can you see her naked shoulder and the robe that almost seems to be put on lazily?“ you had begun your sentence, „it resembles her innocence and purity, no men could ever touch her..“ your voice got a little dreamier on the end. It took you some seconds to notice that’s Dazai didn’t respond. You immediately got embarrassed „it made sense in my head.. sorry“

You looked to your feet, cursing yourself out for saying such stupid things to him as if he could understand what you were thinking… if he could ever understand how you felt when the art practically screamed for you to tell its story, because you knew no one else could quite think like you. No one could. You were alone in this world that seemed to abandon you. Reject you from society as if you weren’t a human being. As if, the moment you shared a piece of your mind, you were no longer human..

You snapped out of your thoughts as you felt a soft hand on your shoulder „Yea, but also look at her hips, the way her robe curves there.“ he pointed subtly to were he meant, „she also seems tense, as if to say that she knew what the men around think of her.“ impressed you looked up to the tall brunette „You saw that?“ in response, Dazai only chuckled „Of course, you are not the only one that has a unique way to see and think.“ his hand gently squeezing your shoulder

„You are not alone. Not everyone might understand what you are trying to say, but I promise you there are always a hand full of people that do. Don’t push yourself down, see the ups of having a unique way to think, even if you can’t voice it.“ he shot you a cheerful smile and for the first time, you felt accepted. Accepted in this so shallow society you always had claimed not to be a part of.

#Bsd #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd imagines #bsd dazai #Dazai #dazai x you #bsd dazai x reader #dazai x reader #Dazai Osamu #dazai osamu x reader #Dazai Osamu imagines #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #anime #no longer human #no longer human Osamu dazai

[neopuppy]

i do think infantilizing asian men is a big problem in the kpopper community but i think a big reason as to why people still see dream as “cotton candy boys” is because we remember when they were 14-16 years old. i was there when they debuted and i had already been in the kpop community for a few years. im an 00 baby and im asian too and i remember seeing dream like “wow these dudes are so young” because i was a big exo l and army and they were grown ass men. at the time, it was very odd for ALL the members of an idol group to debut at THAT young of age so i wasnt used to seeing these dudes my age that looked so young. plus it doesn’t help we kinda watched them grow up and theres so much content from when they were kids. kinda like how we view disney actors that we grew up with that never really shook the disney persona in our heads. i’m not excusing this mindset because i think it’s flawed but i think that’s why you see people say stuff like that about dream.

ive been an nctzen since the 7th sense and it took me a long time to see the sex appeal in dream because i still saw them as the hoverboarding nerds, even though im the exact same age as half of them (which i realize now that i was the problem)

all this to say, it’s still a big problem that people infantilize these asian men (especially) in their 20s but i think this mindset is why people (esp seasoned kpoppers that have been in the community for years) might say these things about dream more

ok so your timeline is the exact same as mine, except I watched Chewing Gum when it came out and said nahhhhhh, no thanks, bc even back then I was like this is too weird. even now I skip the video if it comes on my shuffle.

(I ended up ranting, sorry)..

BUT I’ve said this before many times, its sad how much more active even the nct dream smut community was on here like before I started posting bc when I first came on here looking for something to read during lockdown I saw so many fics from like 2017-2019 and they had TONS of engagement like…..5000+ notes for everything I was like????? werent some of these dudes like FRESHLY 18?🥴

this is personal but in general im having a bad week and I was listening to Jungkook yesterday and randomly teared up thinking abt everything he’s probably had to go thru chsjxjjsjx. bc when I got into bts I think JK was still 17 going onto 18 and the amount of sexualization I saw online was INSANE. it only got worse with time, but literally it back tracks as far as pre-debut and upsets me so fucking muche xnnejc im very sensitive abt it because I developed very early on in life and had grown men speaking to me inappropriately ever since a 1 digit age which I think really fucked up my head and made me internalize shit but like thats WHY I feel this way abt all of this

bc it took me a long time to become comfortable with my own body and expressing myself sexually bc I was over-sexualized from a very young age which made me regress where as I feel like kpop idols almost do the opposite at times……like they’re repressed to act like children well into their 20’s and end up ripping their clothes off as soon as they can.

JK is the best example of this for me bc I have followed him in bts since he was a minor? where as Dream I didn’t follow much prior to Ridin’ because their sound wasn’t my vibe(I still prefer 127’s music now). like thats why I was getting sad bc I was like mannnn JK’s sooooooo insanely talented and instead of letting him bloom artistically Bang PD let Scooter Braun paint him out to be this overly horny fuck boy. which is fine, whatever, its just music and he said multiple times its not personal for him at all but just cndjxjd ik he had to deal with so much at such a young age even some nasty ass old man telling him how pretty he was on tv when he was 15 saying JK his TYPE😐 I HATE THINKING ABT IT NDJEJXJDJD

its a double ended sword like being overly sexualized too young or infantilized as a whole adult, both are topics that piss me off. from one spectrum there is me who really clings to my childhood bc I feel like I was never treated or seen as a child bc of my rush thru puberty vs my friend who is super petite and has always wanted to be seen as womanly/adult bc she can pass for a kid. we had this discussion one day and I was like holy shit this is internalized trauma…

and the Asian men being infantilized thing is a WHOLE other topic because YES, and not just that but if I had a dollar for every time kpop fans call a male idol gay I’d be a millionaire. this also stems back to fetishization bc you see a hairless man with makeup and nice hair acting cute and you’re like well yes, twink, obviously

crazy when you realize Korea is one of the most misogynistic countries, but yeah gay ass twink, all of them, and stupid! THEY’VE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA IN THEIR LIFE! according to a lot of fans

I feel like I can’t say much on this subject bc you know….I write porn abt kpop idols but I’d rather see them as the adults they are instead of making goo goo ga ga edits of men in their mid-late 20’s who have been able to drink alcohol legally since 18 and most likely have been ran through more times than I can count on 2 hands

as a psa, its likely there are gay idols, and even some who haven’t had sex, but its just as likely that there are heterosexual idols who have sex and even have significant others. they’re human like the rest of us and get horny as often as any average person would I imagine

two sides to every coin right.

like yes I get why some may see Dreamies as youngins still but like get the fuck over it omg LMAOOO SORRY BUT LIKE????? THOSE ARE MEN, GROWN MEN!!!! if you don’t see it that way, go look at a 4th gen group and then come back, it’ll hit cnennxnsnsz

#asks

[studentbyday]

me @the stuff i have to do this week

day 50-56 // 100dop && day 29-35 // 100doc

saturday/sunday: finished lab report and data structures lab, spent what felt like a really long time trying to understand the instructions and distro code for speller.c and wrote lots of notes and some pseudocode for the load function.

monday: finished 2 and a little bit of a 3rd section of chem chapter. wrote drafts for the load, check, and unload functions in speller.c but it's returning the opposite of what i should be getting. ☹️🧐

tuesday: it seems i have to accept that as the semester wears on, my study space will inevitably become very very messy with scrap paper (note to self to sift through them tmr and keep only what i need rn)... finished 2.5 sections of chem chapter but didn't take notes on everything yet (halfway through the chapter whooo 🙌). answered tutorial worksheet. also, for some reason i didn't have to change anything except for some minor things in unload and load and check50 works for everything now???? now all that's left to do is figure out why my size function is not returning the same number as the staff's solution and improve on that dreaded hash function...everything i've tried so far takes longer than the one already in there... 🤔 in my impatience to move on, i started the python lecture (YAY PYTHON 😁💗 i'm so ready to be done with C for now)

wednesday: OMG i wasn't expecting to be able to finish speller today but i DID!!!! i thought it would take me much longer to figure out that hash function - i owe it all to cs50's reddit (and stepping away from it and doing smth else when stuck) 💗💗💗 now i can REALLY enjoy myself w python (my beloved XP) and not have that unfinished problem hanging over my head ☺️ also almost done making notes for the sections covered yesterday and finished 3/4 practice assignments.

thursday: i woke up at 12pm 😑☹️ finished all except 1 section of the assignment bc i haven't covered all of the chapter yet. i haven't even finished taking notes on...several things, it's kind of all over the place and i'm just trying to learn enough to do the assignment and then go back in more detail once i'm done bc that's how bored and overwhelmed i feel rn (did not know it was possible to feel both at the same time until uni XD) 😅 watched a little more of the python lecture even tho i should be prioritizing chem rn... still got the lab report to write and a quiz to do after the assignment 😵‍💫😑 (it'll be fine, ik, but if i'm being completely honest, it would be soooooo nice if those things could just do themselves and i could download all the info i need into my brain and instantly understand it and be calculator-fast at the math and not make any mistakes 😤)

friday: finished practice assignment, actual assignment, writing all of the lab report except the intro and references, and the python lecture. got through the remainder of the chem chapter but still gotta write notes on it... it was late at night when i got to the python problems and gaaahhhh coding is sm harder on a sleepy brain, i only finished hello.py XD also dunno how much time i'll have to spend on 100doc this weekend but at least i was able to keep up the streak through the weekdays this time!!

saturday/sunday: finished lab report, notes on chem chapter, quiz, and mario.py. am now working on credit.py and uuuggghhh i did not read the instructions carefully for the checksum!!! 😡 i just followed their example but not all credit card numbers are like the one in the example, so...i have to redo and rethink what seems like a lot of stuff so i basically just wasted all of that time getting confused as to why it wasn't working XD aaaannnddd idk if i should be doing this but i keep converting strings to ints back to strings and then back to ints as needed cuz i lovelovelove iterating through strings but also it seems kinda messy? it also feels super weird writing in python after writing in C for a while...

#not your typical #study aesthetic #studyspo #stemblr #studyblr #chemblr #stem student #stem academia #codeblr #progblr #100dop #100 days of code #100 days of studying #100 days of productivity #cs50 #mittonstudies #heyfrithams #heyharri #heyzainab #heydilli #altinstudies #benniscup #python my beloved

[notebooknonbinary]

hey!! i was looking at your merthur fic recs, and i was wondering if you have any stranger things recs? i like reading longer fics in canonverse a lot, but i dont really have too many preferences hehe, anything you really enjoy, as a fellow mike-appreciator, would be amazing

Oh gosh☺️ making me feel like a fic rec authority. Making my day. Okay! Longer canon-verse with maybe an emphasis on the good-good son Mike Wheeler. (Fair warning, almost all the Mike fics I read are byler centric lol) Many of these fic authors have written multiple wonderful ST fics🥰

One of the first ST fics I ever bookmarked was A Hope to Cling To by midnighteverlark which is slightly canon divergent for the Shed Scene in season two. It’s a fic I return to often because it’s just a very lovely fic. It switches between Mike and Will POV and has five chapters.

@wiseatom just wrote a fic called just gotta call on me, which is a 5+1 fic about phone calls between Mike and Will. It is Very wonderful and takes place from post S2 to post series.

If you feel like crying @andiwriteordie wrote a lovely birthdaygate series called how light carries on endlessly where everyone forgets Will. Very lovely read but Ow it’s got me crying in the club. Post S4 and still ongoing.

paper rings by mogiah is a sweet fic that has a few angst moments. The Party plays the game of ‘where do you see yourself in ten years?’ while briefly trapped in the Upside Down. Mainly byler-centric

I don’t miss the feeling (of being alone) by boygirl is Lucas-centric & Partycule bc I’m a sucker for the main four as a couple and this one is lovely written. It’s so sweet and honestly just aaaa. Post canon and Max is alive ☺️ (ik this isn’t Really Mike centric but since one of the people Lucas likes in this is Mike I feel it qualifies. Also Lucas is 💕)

I’ll be your first, I’ll be your last by agustplz is a very wonderful 5+1 about Mike calling in dedications on the radio for Will.

@buck-yyyy wrote Is Hell Cold? It’s a season 5 speculation fic. It’s lovely, like poetry and I was lucky enough to be among the first to read it☺️ And they’ve got a lotta other wonderful fics to read too!!

I am, ofc, often vocal about my love for @perexcri ‘s writing. I recommend starting with To Hell and Back which is Very Romcom and fun and aaaa. Takes place during S5, Will and Mike get stuck in the Upside Down

reaching for starlight by chainangel is a Mike character study about gender. I Adore this fic So Very much (nonbinary Mike nonbinary Mike nonbinary Mike nonbinary Mi—)

Be the Boy by katbatsupreme, Mike overhears Will talking to Jonathan about his crush. I am a big ol’ sucker for Mike Jealous of Himself fics and this one is Very good🥰

I know the end by bookinit is a largely canon-compliant ST retelling with an emphasis on byler. And tbh Until byler is officially Together As Boyfriends On Screen, no one can tell me these fics aren’t canon. They’re on season 3 right now (Ow my Heart) and updating pretty regularly.

a game of truths by RomeoWrites, the title is pretty self explanatory☺️ very sweet. Goes from Pre-series to post:) Also! This writer wrote the boyfriend problem, where Ted thinks Mike and Will have been dating since pre-S1 very cute and funny

Us against the world by wasabi8000, immediately post-S4, Mike finally puts the pieces together about Will’s feelings. Sweet and a tiny bit angsty with a little bit of miscommunication. A good fic!

I hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this). by blackdeathmamba. A lovely 5+1 fic about Mike kissing Will but Will not realizing why. Miscommunication and lotta kisses:)

I’m sure you’ve already read a dream always the same by @sevensided (sorry to tag u), bc it is The Mike Wheeler centric fic, but just in case you haven’t, it’s an extremely well written, Wonderful fic (as are its’ sequels). Set post-S3.

eyecatcher by smoosnoom, Jealous Mike post-S4 with no angst, just Mike being pouty over girls getting crushes on Will. It’s very funny and cute!

mom I’m gay, wait you are too? By dragons_like_s’mores is sweet and silly and a fun read, and introduced me to a ship that I like but hadn’t thought of before lol. An offhand comment by Mike causes Karen’s lesbian awakening, while in the background Mike simps for Will and maybe learns how to do chores.

This is not an exhaustive list of all my fav fics but if I put All of them down we’d be here literally All Day lol

Also!!

Some of my mutuals/blogs I follow are in the process of fics which I will ofc reblog when they post them🥰🥰 (also friends please please feel free to add to this list, I’m Always in the mood to read ST fic)

#fic recs #thank you for asking it made me happy #debated if I should keep the tagging bc I don’t want to bother all y’all that I tagged but🤷 #I’m mutuals With all but one of the people I’m tagging so it’s Less anxiety inducing? #let me know if any of the links don’t work properly #stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #I would die for any one of these authors in a second💕 #long post #lemme know if this needs a read more

[cocain3katesblog]

Ik this my Ed page but I just have to let this out there somehow. I just wanna let you the few ppl that follow me know who tired I am of fighting. I constantly have to battle my sadness and the way I do that is by not eating. I don’t eat so it can overwhelm the sadness. Everyday passes by but I still feel like I’m living the same day over and over again. I wish can’t handle this sadness anymore. I see my life from afar and I feel like I didn’t accomplish anything I feel like a background character in my own life story. How is this even possible ? I lost someone so dear to my heart and this January will be 2 years without them. I saw them struggle with feeling good down bc they were sick and I wouldn’t eat too so they didn’t feel alone in their battle. Now I can’t stop eating and think how I’ve let that person down. My own family even doesn’t like me. All the sudden they started to act like they care when that person passed. Even my own brother and father talk about me behind my back. I don’t want to physically harm myself bc I don’t want ppl to see how badly I’m struggling in the outside. I’d rather starve and suffer from the inside and slowly wither away like a wilted flower in the breeze. I hope no one finds this because I’m usually not the vulnerable type especially on social media but Ik this platform and the ppl that follow me share a similar story where it all started. I’m starving myself until I drop dead so I can just see that person again. I’m not brave enough to physically do anything to myself to end up dead so I decided to just waste away. That person was my main source of happiness and my only true friend. I can’t believe it took the passing of that persons death to realize that person was my entire world. I usually was able to sleep away the pain but now the pain has followed me into my dreams where I thought I could escape. I wake up crying or in my dreams I am crying and I can feel my facial expressions mimic crying. I don’t want help. I’m too far gone to be helped. Everyday I pray to god to just let me be free from the body and let me see that person one more time. I’d leave everything behind for that person. Every birthday wish, everyday New Year’s resolution, every night before I go to bed, I beg and plead to god to free me from this pain, this endless suffering. I told God to make that person better and I’ll do anything, anything! I’ll be a better person I’ll devote my life to the church I’ll detransition, I’ll do wtv it takes. In the end I guess my prayers weren’t heard. I cry almost everyday even when I laugh so hard I have tears running down my face for some reason I have the feeling to cry and just shut up and sit in silence. The day that person passed I looked in the mirror and saw someone else. Someone different. I didn’t recognize myself. I still don’t. I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s face. I don’t wish this on my worst fucking enemy. The loss of someone this close to you. I drown my sorrow by listening to sad music and reading poetry like Sylvia Plath and it does help for a little to know that someone in the world has felt this pain before and that I’m not alone but yet I look around and I see everything living their lives and I’m feel like I’m stuck. Maybe I deserve this torture. I put that person thru hell and back and even my own family says that I didn’t make their passing any easier. At the time I didn’t know to to express my feelings. How do you think a 15 year old highschool student is supposed to react to the news that someone you love is slowly passing away and you’re just watching? I was such a bad kid to that person and I’d do anything to have them back in my life. I want that person to hit me, yell at me, tell me how worthless I’ll be but at least I’ll that person would still be here. That person never hurt a single hair on my head and was just the sweetest soul a person can imagine. I still question why that person ? Why not me? Why did they have to suffer when I was the bad one? If I could , I’d be gone tmr but I can’t

[taegularities]

My Drabble review🤭:

Idk why but my heart swelled reading the first few lines bc I missed the warmth of their relationship/friendship and even though it’s only a flashback, it’s given me sm hope that they can overcome this issue and really be together all in😢.

When it’s mentioned that oc was reluctant to go home and would rather over something silly w jk really interest me because now I’m thinking about how long ago did she start really becoming fond of him🤔 ofc they’re hooking up and stuff and she’s stressed and wants a release, but I would usually go hang w one of my closer friends than my newly fwb yk??: “But you genuinely did not notice how late it was — between studying and going out for a late night snack alone, time passed. It does quickly when you’re reluctant to go home.”

“If you peeked long enough, you bet you could see his perked, brown nipples, right there on his firm, hard pecs.” SAME GIRL SAMEEEE🌚

No idc what anyone says, they may have started as friends w benefits, but I feel like there always has been lingering feelings oc felt, but just didn’t want to admit to bc all the little habits he has that usually annoy her from anyone else, but she can tolerate (can I say even loves) coming from him like cracking his fingers nonstop?? It may not be important, but there was more than just sexual tension between them idk🫸

Ik OC loves arguing just for the sake of it bc she was really anticipating bantering back and forth w JK (ik this is her type of foreplay😭😭): “I’ll tell her to regrade my paper. Make me fail the class. Will you be happy then?’…You say nothing. You hadn’t anticipated this.”

“Even if,” you tell him, “it’s none of your business.” I know OC’s life is more in the public eye and stuff and they had just got to know each other, but they both have some deep traumas that they’re reluctant to tell each other and i know this Drabble is still from when they first started hooking up, I wonder if there’s still anything now that OC hasn’t told JK??

“Listen,” he cards his fingers through his hair, and the strands fall back into his face so beautifully.” Just imagining this omg I’m so down bad for JK😞🥲🩷🩷🩷

“You came because you want me, and that’s driving you crazy.” It’s a bold statement. But it makes you hold your breath. “Because you think about it way too much.” Ok now who told him to examine it this much🙄🙄🙄 this only means he overthinks situations too and thinks about HER WAY TOO MUCH AS WELL😊 but he really got her speechless w that😭😭

“Yeah, yeah, you're an enigma. One that definitely doesn't like it when I do this, right?” Without a warning, rendering you speechless, he touches your thigh. Journeys down to your knee. “Should I stop?” This was so smooth I’m speechless. I have no thoughts just a *** *****😵‍💫

“Dark, starry. Tender yet dangerous. Luring you in on purpose, so you're trapped.” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 your descriptions will be the end of me omggg

Ok wait I’m rethinking my earlier statement now because they weren’t even FWB when the Drabble started, so she definitely felt something for him w just plain old hookups huh🤔

I really wonder what happened at that frat party that made them never forget it and stick together for so long. Most of the time frat parties are places where you can’t remember a thing after it’s over, but this night single-handedly changed the course of their relationship and I feel like it’s way more deeper than just a hookup (idk I like to be dramatic)

“And when he grips your hair out of the blue, you gasp, noses almost clashing when he pulls you to his face, and he interrupts, “Stop fucking doubting me for once. It’s exasperating.” Didnt even start the smut yet but I need more aggressive JK>>>>>>>

“Tilting his head, he deepens the sloppy kiss with a hum, breathing whenever possible as you let tiny, yet innocent whimpers into his mouth. The wet noises of the kiss stir your mind, his entire being reckless when his palms shift to your ass.” Omg my ***** is ** *** * can’t ******* I’m not ******* ** *** I’m going crazyzyzyayx😂😂😂😂😂😂

“you’ve ruined any other pussy for me.” The most iconic line of CMI EVER🌚🌚

“…Can’t mess with anyone anymore because of this gem you’ve got.” You don’t know whether he sounds angry or overwhelmed by lust. “Will never come across anything better.” I just melted wtf omg🫠🫠🫠

“Beautiful and inviting. Thick, towering, even when not fully hard. The tip is glistening with precum, veins spreading along the length… and there’s a mole on his dick, right at the base.”🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

“Protection is never a hundred percent, but this is new. The way it splits in half when you want to roll it over his dick, draping over your hand like a ruined glove. You glance at it with wide eyes, up to him, then back to it again, and then curse, “Fuck.” THE CONDOM RIPPING HAS ME CRYING😭😭😭 ONLY THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM AND CAUSE EVEN MORE STEAMY SEX

I can’t wait for the day we get the frat party reveal because I genuinely want to know how fucked up OC got to not even remember a thing😭😭😭 and like how those events led us here because we can’t even rely on ole girls memory to help us out🙄🙄

“…but he surprises you when you start moving, holding your thighs in place as he says, “Wait. Not yet. Just wanna… Just a bit…His forehead lazily falls against your shoulder for a second, and you brush along his arms, feeling the bicep” cockwarming🥹🥹🥹 oh how I love cockwarming❤️❤️❤️ lmfaoaoaoa no but this made me melt again seriosuly🫠🫠🫠

“Nothing. You’re just. So pretty.” The praise is sudden; it’s not quite unusual for him, because you know he finds you pretty.” I miss them sm the angst is hurting me😭😭😭 they are so in love it hurts #rip⭐️

“his teeth running along your jaw, down to your tits until he’s sucking in a sensitive nipple. A strong hand palms your boob from below, pushing it up, lighting up your veins.” I think I’m the biggest sucker for tittysucking idk 🤷‍♀️ it just seems the second most intimate after cockwarming during sex for me🤷‍♀️🤓

“Take his hand from your hip and bring it to your mouth, pushing two fingers in that he previously had knocked into your cunt…Diligently, with quiet, low hums, you suck them clean, biting back your moans, different from him voicing endless groans.” I lied I’m an even bigger sucker for fingerlicking/sucking🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Anal tease…🤭🤭🤭

“You’re…” He gulps, stalling for a moment. “You're beautiful.” He’s down even worse omg. They have such passionate sex it’s borderline “making love” and no one can deny that!

“The truth is that you’re more than okay being here. Other options aren’t as gratifying, and this… he… takes your mind off things. He might be tiresome once in a while, but his place is inviting.” My babys🥲🥲🥲🥲

“Jungkook’s climax is nothing you’ll ever get used to. A phenomenon each time. So vocal, so pretty, deep dimples of focus in his cheeks, a hard jaw. Flexing muscles. Rapid breathing when he’s finally empty.” ** ***** ** *********!!! #rip⭐️

The shower scene🥲 they’re so domestic and cute and this is just the beginning of their relationship I can’t wait for what’s next🤭🤭🤭

I literally am realizing how much I love your smut like wtf you’re a beast omgggg #myfav

This was such a good Drabble and sorry for taking so long to send this in, life🙄🙄🙄 but I’m going to reread this again right after sending it and it was such a cute distraction from the mess that is now CMI7.5 (review coming soon🫠) I loved sm rid thank u for always putting ur all into the work you release for us❤️❤️❤️

-⭐️

I COULDN'T FIND THIS REVIEW IN MY INBOX ANYMORE, like i got so fkn scared but it came back when i refreshed 😭 tumblr why phew

this drabble was definitely a way to escape the reality we're seeing right now. there's so much comfort between them, and that's kind of why i teared up writing it? like there's no angst at all in this one, but... yeah it hurt, comparing those moments with the heartbreak they're going through rn.

i guess the reason she went to him instead of her friends could be as simple as... she was nearby, his dorm is close to college, so she dropped by... or it could be as complex as her finding warmth in him that she hasn't experienced anywhere else before. we'll find out why after the frat party reveal!! (which was, as you said, definitely more than just a hook up night. probably not too deep, but deep enough :'))

i don't think it was a crush, even less love, back then, but there was something between them for sure. even during the hook up phase! a connection maybe. we've been seeing it since ch1... there's always been chemistry, and they've always kind of.. hm, clicked.

tbh, i'd say oc has been a lot more open with jk than vice versa. like, since they started their fwb thing, she's laid her heart open to him very often. he definitely didn't show his pain as much as she did... it's time he does :')

'I have no thoughts just a *** *****' WHY DID I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEANT LMAOAOAOAO

more aggressive jk you say? GOTCHA COS ME TOO !!!

your reactions to the smut are everything 😭 LIKE THE RIPPED CONDOM LMFAO JUST THEM !!! i also fkn love every single time you go "#rip⭐️" LOL ILY STAR ILY

and yes, sucking/cockwarming >>>>

anal tease 👁

MAKING L*VE ???? I REFUSE STAR LOL

the shower scene was my favourite of all 🥺 domesticity is my favourite city fr, i wanna reside there forever hahaha i just love it when they giggle together, i'm so down bad 😭 it'll be insane once they actually get together :')

and don't worry, babe!! take as much time as you need. i'm very slow too lol i apologise! i saw your other review too and i fucking love your thoughts to cmi every damn time, thank you so much 😭 will get to it soon too!! <333

#i love you so much #this was so cute and wholesome :'''') ty ty ty <33333 #notes for rid 🌹 #⭐️ anon #fic: colour me in #long ask

[fruit-of-infidelity]

ok now that i stopped screaming let me try to form a coherent opinion 😫

ig it goes without saying that i really liked ryuuto's route♥ ik i've been screaming throughout it all BUT there's one particular thing that made me appreciate it so much more, simpery aside-

reaching the end specially, i liked the fact that ryuuto started to realize by himself that cordelia isn't what he's after, with little intervention from yui and the power of love (?) i mean, yes, there is some of that, but i feel like ryuuto's realization wasn't only due to yui's intervention when it comes to accept that as a fact, especially when she's literally not there 😭. but yui's kindness naturally got to him, he was just so focused on what he planned; if i were to dig deeper, it's like ryuuto realized that his wants were driven by his childhood/younger mentality only, which is why i'm so glad that he realized that it wasn't going to be any different now that he's grown up, after seeing the patterns and the pain he went through. i love that he realized by himself and undid things himself and killed and !!! yes !!! go off king!!!!! 🛐🛐🛐

i was wondering almost from the start if it was going to be that way or like kanato's vamp end levels of toxic instead (?? i would've enjoyed it regardless probably, i like how it was written so i would've believed it (?) dfhgdj but in all seriousness, i think you did a great job ava!! ♥♥ doing rejet's work better than them as usual 😤💕

also i LOVE the cgs so much 😭 !! my favs may be the kiss at the gazebo (love the lighting), the one of the train and the vampire end one is lovely too ♥♥ and the one w ryuuto going 🤺 @ richter DFGD i just love cordelia!yui being like >:) so much kfgjdfh and yui in general being so sassy tbh i love her 😭

side note; i admit richter is/can be a good father but my appreciation for him kinda ends there i'm sorry 🗿 djfslg

the only thing i'm still curious about is one thing about ryuuto's heartbeat? maybe i'm missing something from hdb bc it's been a while, but does he/sakamakis have a heartbeat or was cordie just messing around as usual? 😭

all in all, i loved it and i'm so ready to read the bad endings too now because i feed off angst and im hungry 👀🍽 Dkgjd AND ofc i'm patiently waiting for the heavens and after story and everything else 🛐🛐

ramble over STAN AVA 🥳🥳💕

// ILYYY ROX ♥️♥️♥️ im a huge slut for you throwing your analysis/thoughts at me, so don't mind me rereading your message fifty times over 🫂♥️♥️

Im really glad you noticed that! I didn't want it to too heavily focused on Yui "falling in love and fixing Ryuuto", especially not over one single route >< Instead, it works so much nicer for him imo if his character development comes from within moreso. The shift between being solely focused on Cordelia in his Dark, then his transition into getting to know Yui on a deeper level that really challenges all he knows with Cordelia in Maniac, and his internal decisions between whether he wants a repeat of his past where he feels comfortable, or a fresh albeit scary start with Yui in Ecstasy is HUGE 😩😭

Thank you so much, you're so so sweet!! 😭♥️♥️ and !!!!! Im so glad you liked the CGs too, they were ROUGH to figure out what i wanted to do and show off, but thank you for being so supportive always ><♥️♥️

also i see that richter slander. just wait until i (hopefully) post his route 🙄 im dragging you down to richter hell whether you like it or not sksk.

As for the heartbeat, omggg. I'm being consistent about rejet's inconsistency 🧍‍♀️ It's up to you to decide, really. Like, Cordie could def be just messing around but also?? I think the vamps have heartbeats in later drama cds/routes that are mentioned so 😤 whatever you'd like to believe, that's the canon sfjslh

BUT AAA !!! Yes yes yes im so excited to next post the other angsty endings (which are my favourite endings) and the afterstory and heaven. ofc, there is also the mini chapters that will be posted right after too which show ryuuto in the other boys' routes. Both more intensely and more of a passing by/background character 😩 BUT im getting ahead of myself because i have only halfway finished those mini chapters ><><

BUT AAA MWAH, BIG KISSES ILY ROX. You're so so sweet 🥺💕 and i cannot wait to read more of your girl's route, too. I am INVESTED !!

#kindan-no-kanojo #admin #route feedback

[dreamg0rly]

Hiiiii!! so here’s a lil backstory (sorry if it’s too much). but basically i’ve known about not loa communities for almost 3 years. i started off with law of attraction but soon later found out about the law of assumption and switched over bc the first one caused a lot of limiting beliefs and overall the law of assumption was just way easier for me. and i manifested HELLA things with the law of assumption but ofc i consider dem “small” things so me wanting to get into the void is every big to me bc i’ve made a whole list of things that i want to affirm for in the void. before i had took months off from manifesting like all tg (didn’t happen on purpose) i had tried to get into the void once before. bc then i was one of those ppl that would switch methods every other day after it didn’t work the first time (obviously bc i wasn’t persistent in the fact and being consistent) and would just try sum new. but when i did try to get into the void i did a meditation and just affirmed for the void the first time i felt symptoms and almost made it but got to scared and backed out and the second time i didn’t feel any symptoms at all and i don’t rmb why bc it was like almost a year ago but i had gave up. and after i took a long ass break like i said earlier and i really improved myself in a whole lot of ways not only have i seen my progress but my ppl around me have seen it to. and i started thinking i’m finna be a mfn senior bc i am dis my last week of school and i want my dream life before we go back. so lately i’ve been looking into the void again and i have my list and a whole plan of what i’m going to do to get into the void; listening to delta waves every night while going to sleep while affirming my affirmations, affirming throughout the day and just persisting fr in the fact that i always wake up in the void bc i feel like it would be easier for me. also ofc i’m eager to get my desires but i’m not in a rush bc i want to do everything right and not disappoint myself by possibly failing so i’m really waiting for school to be over so i won’t feel stressed (from work and school) and can actually have time to relax bc ik dats what i need to get into the void. but i really have faith and believe my plan would work out bc of some posts i’ve seen on here (i tried to link it but it wouldn’t let me) and i’m really excited for it bc idk why but i just believe if i do everything thing that i feel like is right and that would work it will and i’ll have my dream life soon.

here are my affirmations:

i always wake up in the void aware

i love waking up in the void i can easily affirm for wtf i want and get right out

my affirmations are going to be some like those. i don’t really manifest using the same affirmations i really just be affirming how i think on a regularly basis like i just let it run naturally. but my main point of sending this was a lil fear that i have bc i’ve read ur “tips for the void” and it’s help me but i’m still kinda worried about one thing. i’m kinda scared that me going to the void and affirming in it i’ll just shift in a reality that has everything i want but it’ll just be temporary. like i’m scared it’ll feel like it’s fake like i’m living a fake temporary life. idk it might be confusing but that’s just how i can explain the fear i have.

no i completely understand! i recommend you read some success stories. in void success stories they usually detail out how they manifested their desires permanently through the void and how they are living their dream life in their cr. youll see the difference between void success stories and shifting stories super quickly. just set the intention you want your desires in your cr permanently!

[mlmxreader]

Hiya! How are you? How about the puppos and the baby snakes? I hope all is well 🖤.

These are for the Writer (& Artist) Ask Game, if you feel so inclined, would you mind answering the following (please and thanks 😊):

1. Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time?

2. Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?

3. When did you start considering yourself a writer/artist?

4. What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream?

5. What was your first fandom you were in? Did you make any art/fanfic for it?

6. What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read?

7. What story are you the proudest of? Why?

🖤🖤🖤

🐍anon

good afternoon!! yeah, I'm okay - I gotta go to work later, but thankfully I have Tuesday off so I get to actually chill once I'm back from the psychiatrist lmfao just gotta get through today and tomorrow, but that's easy enough!

the dogs are good, they've had plenty of scraps today bc my sister came over w her kids, so the dogs are VERY happy

the snakes are okay, I darent go further than that bc ik what the ball pythons are like and I Do Not Trust Them to not get into shenanigans the very second I leave the room fjfkskfkskg 5 snakes and only 3 of them have 1 brain cell, smdh

1. I guess it'd probably be Perveen, in which case, yeah, I do use him quite a fair bit even today; he crops up in almost all of my WW2-era fics. he started out as just, yk, an Indian pilot who came to Britain to fight in the RAF and who hates Americans... he's become a lot more than that now, though - he's a hurricane of a man, but he's also deeply caring and he loves his wife so much that he has a dastar in her favourite colour to remind himself of her.

2. I haven't done one for Cohen (another RAF pilot OC), admittedly, and I would like to get around to it at some point but I'd have to include him in more of my work for that, tbh. same goes for Jozef, but his story is being explored within the fic where he makes his first appearance!

3. when I stopped writing only for school within English classes and started writing outside of it as well, tbh, that's when I first went "oh, right, I'm a writer!"

4. so, when it comes to writing about war, there's a heavy influence of real events, especially the first world war - outside of that, tho? not really lmfao most of my inspiration comes from me sitting there and going "yk whatd be good?" lmfao

5. I'm p sure it was Marvel, and I did write fic for it lmfao

6. I like to write MCD and fluff lmfao that's my 2 favourites. when reading tho, I like horror books, and I like books about war - but I also like books that heavily criticise society and certain elements of it, like 1984, American Psycho and Fight Club.

7. definitely Love, Hate, Sex, Pain - it traumatised @tokillamockingbird427 but it's also just... really good 💀💀 I'm also proud of Where The Wild Wolves Have Gone, which is 100k words and I loved every second of writing it tbh

#asks #🐍 anon

[survivorraccooncity2]

Tribal Council #4 - Progenitor

Welcome Progenitor to the fourth tribal council of the game.

First, let’s start off with some questions:

DJ: Unlike the other tribes, you are the only original BSAA member on your new tribe. How do you plan on navigating this tribe swap with that in mind? Is this tribe divide by original tribal lines? Or is there something beyond that surface-level interpretation?

Yes! I miss the BSAA babies, but I am happy to have been swapped into a tribe of nice and friendly people. I like them a lot and I'm planning on working hard at the challenges as a team with them. We are going with the flow well and I don't think this tribe is divided by original tribal lines.

Hunter: Last tribal council, you suspected that someone from your original tribe wrote the voting message “Tribe Lemmings.” Are you concerned about this? Why or why not?

Um no bc I didnt chat with alot of my old tribe bc they were strange to me so like,. Ik there not talking about me bc im not in there cliques sorry 2 parter

Evangelina: What is your assessment of this tribe? What are its weaknesses? What are its strengths?

As far as vibes, I'm really liking this Tribe. I guess it feels more chill. Supportive and enthusiastic but without so much pressure/strong ego. I think these qualities are strengths in that they provide a better environment for collaboration. But I also recognize that a lack (so far) of "killer instinct" or pressure might make it harder to win since those variables provide extra motivation (even as they add more stress too).

Cliftone: You were the person who compiled and edited the trailer. How much responsibility do you feel with your tribe’s loss?

I feel the most responsible because I edited the trailer, which has me kinda nervous to receive some votes tonight. Overall I’m hoping that my Tribe recognizes the effort I put in for us.

Navi: For the most part, you picked each of these people for this tribe, yet you still lost the challenge. Do you think the schoolyard-pick had something to do with this tribe’s loss? If you had picked, for example, Clifford instead of Evangelina, do you think the outcome would be different?

I just don’t think this was our challenge, maybe if it had been something different we could have crushed it. I don’t think that picking Clefford over Evangelina would have made a difference since this was a team effort. I’m still confident that we have a strong team and that luck just wasn’t on our side this round.

~

If anyone had an advantage and played it, now would be the time that would be announced.

Someone has lost their ability to vote this round. There will only be 4 votes read.

I’ll read the votes.  

First Vote

Hunter

You're a cool dude but you've been pretty MIA. And It feels wrong to put someone else down when everyone else put at least some degree of effort into this challenge. But if this is it for you, wish you the best!

Second Vote

Evangelina

Ur DONE

Third Vote

Hunter

to be fair to rest of the tribe, you’ve been the most inactive so I have to vote you out, but I do hope everything is okay.

Fourth Vote

And the third person voted out of this game is…

Hunter

You seem like a nice and fun person. We could have used your charm for the challenge though and sadly we didn't hear from you almost for the entire round.

_

Hunter’s Last Words:

):

Bye guys sorry evan i voted u

I only knew ur name djdjd

Announcement shortly.

[whatdoyouwanttobecalled-1]

I've been seeing a lot of posts about this all over social media, and while the majority of them are fine and just people expressing their opinions, a lot of people from both sides of the argument have been saying some really inexcusable stuff (such as telling people on the opposing side to off themselves, etc) and it's really pissing me off. Pls everyone idc if you agree w me or not but at least try to be mature and respectful when engaging in these conversations bc the goal is learning, understanding, tolerance, and cooperation (working together to find solutions to problems that will benefit all of us). So here's my stance on the issue, and feel free to reply, ask questions, or dm me and start a conversation regardless of your veiws. Just be nice! Here's my opinions, based off my own personal experience:

To start off: pansexuality is not inherently biphobic and/or transphobic

Yes, there are pansexuals who are biphobic, and yes they harm the transgender community in that sense. This is because generally pansexuals who are biphobic say they bisexuals are transphobic and essentially invalidate binary trans people's identity as a man or woman by saying that bisexuals are only attracted to cis men and cis women, not trans people. However, the majority of pansexual people do not think this way. Personally (and most of the pansexuals as talked to agree w me), I do not believe that bisexuality is transphobic. Why? Trans women are women, and trans men are men. If you will not date a trans person simply bc they are trans, then you're transphobic, but that has absolutely nothing to do w your sexuality. My own and most people's understanding of bisexuality (and the definition you get if you Google it, and the definition that most bisexuals will give you), is that bisexuality means attraction to 2 or more genders (which yes, could mean all), with a preference. With. A. Preference. I identified as bi to myself for years, and came out as bi for almost a year, never feeling as if the label fully fit me or that I was fully understood by the community bc there is always sm emphasis on the fact that bisexuals have a preference, while I never have. I don't think anyone is less than anyone else for having a preference, or better than anyone else for not having a preference. Pansexuality simply allows me to be apart of a smaller more specific community that fully understands my experience w attraction. I also know that bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term for anyone attracted to 2+ genders, but in the same way that it's not biphobic for lesbians to prefer to date other lesbians bc of their shared experience, I like having a smaller community that specifically experiences attraction in the same way that I do. I've also seen a lot of people talking about how people seem to think that bisexuals only care about sex, and that pansexuals think theyre better bc they're uwu innocent babies. I'm not entirely sure I'm not on the ace spectrum somewhere but lemme tell you that does not make me any less of a whore. No one is better than anyone else for how much or little they think about or enjoy sex.

2nd; bisexuality is not inherently transphobic.

Yes, there are bisexuals who are transphobic, but this is not the majority of the community. Most bi people consider trans women to be real women (which they are) and trans men to be real men (which they are). I will say it again; if you won't date someone just bc they're trans, you are transphobic, but that has nothing to do w your sexuality. As for non binary people, yes, bisexuality includes them too. Bisexuality is not inherently transphobic.

3rd; all mspec labels are fucking valid.

Whether you identify as bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or polysexual, you are valid. You can use bisexuality as an umbrella term if that's what you're most comfortable w, or if the definition perfectly describes your relationship w attraction then that's cool too. If you feel that pansexuality, omnisexuality, or polysexuality better describes you and you enjoy having a smaller more specific community to fully relate to, guess what, that's also cool. No one is better than anyone else, and while there are members of every community who feel that they are, they do not represent everyone.

4th; panphobia/omniphobia/polyphobia only comes from the mspec community, if it comes from outside, it's probably biphobia

Let me explain; there is no problem that comes from people who are not attracted to multiple genders that everyone on this spectrum doesn't face. Bisexuality is a spectrum that we all fall on, an umbrella term that we all fit under. This means that unless it's coming from a person or group on this spectrum, it's probably biphobia you're facing. There are 2 types of biphobia: the biphobia that comes from mspecs, and the biphobia that comes from people who aren't on the spectrum of bisexuality. The biphobia that comes from inside is only against people who identify as bisexual, and the biphobia that comes from outside is against anyone who is attracted to multiple genders. I'm not saying there aren't a few instances of people who arent mspec targeting a specific group and not every mspec identity, but most of the time, if it's from the outside, it's classified as biphobia, bc that includes all of us.

In conclusion, this is what the mspec sexualities are and some of my final thoughts;

Bisexuality = attraction to 2+ genders with or without a preference. It can be used as an umbrella term by the whole mspec community, or as a specific label on it's own. It includes trans and non binary people, and is not a transphobic label. There are transphobic bisexuals, but the fact that they are transphobic and the fact that they are bisexual are not related in any way. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity, or sexuality in general.

Pansexuality = attraction to all genders without a preference. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic pansexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their pansexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as pansexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Omnisexuality = attraction to all genders w a preference. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic omnisexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their omnisexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as omnisexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Polysexuality = attraction to more than 2, but not all genders. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic polysexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their polysexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as polysexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Honestly, I think we all get enough hate from inside and outside the lgbtqia+ community and we need to stick together and have each others backs. It's not the microlabels that are causing problems, it's the exclusionists. Invalidating eo's experiences and saying that biphobia is a bigger problem, panphobia is a bigger problem, omniphobia is a bigger problem, or polyphobia is a bigger problem, isn't gonna help anyone or solve anything. We can have slightly different experiences and still relate and support eo. Also, even if you have a problem w a specific label, pls just ask your questions genuinely, and try to understand the opposing side. Just have a mature conversation. If you're too young or immature to do that then you probably shouldn't be on social media. Calling eo names and telling eo to off ourselves isn't helping anything and there is no excuse for it. I've always loved the lgbtqia+ community for it's love and acceptance, but the more active I become within the community itself, the more I realise how toxic it can be. Sometimes I'm genuinely embarrassed to part of this community. Especially when it's grown adults acting like children that is causing the problems. Pls do better. Thank you for your time, thank you for reading, I love you, have a nice day!!!

Also I just want to add that ik there are more mspec identities than this, and you're all so valid. These are just the sexualities that ik enough about to give a proper statement on and the ones I've seen mentioned in this discourse the most. I'm actively trying to learn more about the mspec identities I mentioned, and those that I didn't. Pls feel free to give me any info on any sexuality (doesn't even have to be mspec I just want to learn more so I can be good ally for everyone), or ask me any questions about my own sexuality, and pls let me know if there is anything I should add or any misinformation in this post (I will not be including blatant blankphobia against any mspec identity so don't even try it bitches)

#mspec #bi/pan solidarity #pan positivity #pan pride #pansexuality #bisexuality #polysexuality #biromantic #omniromantic #polyromantic #pansexual #bisexual #omnisexual #polysexual #biphobes fuck off #biphopia #biphobic #fuck panphobes #panphobic #panphobia #omnisexuality #omniphobia #omniphobic #polyphobia #polyphonic #fuck off #grow up #anti pan #pan discourse #panromantic

[yourmidnightlover]

holding hands

never stop loving me part 2 :)

summary - after reader and spencer make it home safe and almost sound, spencer decides to show her just how much he loves her touch.

tw - smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (yea, ik i do this a lot), teasing?, fingering, oral (female receiving), soft dom!spencer, fluff

wc - 2,671

a/n - you could totally read this as a stand alone piece, just know that spencer is kinda in the doghouse rn bc he said mean things to reader abt her being all touchy and annoying (even tho she isn’t). happy reading 😌

masterlist

---------------------------------------------------

spencer had said he was going to make it up to you.

did he know how yet? not really. would he figure out how? absolutely.

you had been rather distant after you had solved the case and on the plane ride back home. you still sat beside him, but you didn't make any move to touch him or lay your head on him as you normally would. maybe it was because you just didn't feel like it, but spencer knew better than to think that.

"do you want to order takeout tonight?" you turned towards him to ask the question.

"yea, of course we can," he agreed, his arm reaching around your body to pull you closer to him. he felt you stiffen under his touch. "are you alright?" it was his turn to look at you, you nodded up at him.

"i'm alright," you clarified, giving him a tight-lipped smile that wasn't very convincing. eventually, you settled into his arm, leaning your head on his shoulder and succumbing to the sleep you needed.

when you woke up, it was to spencer swatting away morgan's hand while shushing him.

"morgan, she needs her rest in order to heal properly!" he whisper-yelled while trying to move morgan's hand away but failing. "don't touch her, only i can!" he clarified, morgan threw his hands up in defense as he turned to sit back down.

"y'know you get more protective than i thought you would be," morgan shrugged with a chuckle.

"what's that mean?" spencer argued defensively.

"it means that princess there is well taken care of. you just don't seem like the possessive type of guy," he reiterated as he pulled out his headphones.

"i'm not being possessive," he defended himself. "i'm being a good boyfriend by not letting you wake her up just so you can ask her a ridiculous question," spencer looked down at you in your peaceful sleeping position.

you hadn't slept well in the hospital. spencer knew this because each time he went to sleep you were awake, and you would be awake when he woke back up. the night before you were in the hospital he heard you cry yourself to sleep and you woke up before him. so, in his mind, you needed as much rest as possible if you wanted to heal properly.

that, and he wanted to feel you cuddled against him as you slept for the first time in a week.

"i think it's more than that, genius," the bald man scoffed.

"what do you think it is?" spencer sassed.

"well, i think it has something to do with the fact that you and pretty girl there," he nodded towards you, "were in a fight and you missed her."

spencer sighed, "is it that obvious?" he used his free hand to move a piece of hair from your face, his hand lingering there for a second longer.

"look, kid, i may or may not have heard what happened thanks to a little someone. you should let her know how much she means to you, alright? she's probably feeling like you're doubting your relationship because of her, so make sure she knows that she's it for you," he advised his curly-headed friend.

"she's not 'it' for me, derek," spencer sighed once more. "she's my everything."

you stirred in your 'sleep' to alert them of your presence, slowly sitting up in an attempt to not hurt yourself.

"hey, princess," spencer whispered, moving that same annoying strand of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

"mmm... hi," you stretched your arms over spencer so you wouldn't hit him. "how long until we land?"

"about half an hour," he informed you, whispering as the other team members slept. "if you'd like to go back to sleep i'll wake you up before we land."

"i'm alright, thank you," you smiled.

you could be mad at him while being a nice person. you just didn't know if you were ready to get over what he had said to you.

——————————

you had gone straight home after landing, permittable by hotch who saw how tired the two of you were.

both of you were laying together on the couch, you slightly on top of spencer because of your still bruised rib that slightly hurt, he angled his head down and started kissing your neck softly. your breathing got heavier, your breaths being few and far between as your hands reached back to grasp spencer's curls.

"spence?" you asked, more like whispered. he continued his actions, the only thing that signified he actually heard you being a small hum against your skin. "i-i... can we...?" you trailed off, not sure how to ask for what you wanted.

"can we what, princess?" he asked his hands reaching around to the front of your body, lightly ghosting over your bare legs.

"you know what, spencer," you huffed in annoyance as you rolled your eyes. he squeezed your thigh firm enough to know he had done it, but gentle enough to know it wouldn't leave any marks that were too bad.

"and you know better than to roll your eyes at me," he whispered in your ear, nipping gently at your lobe. "now... tell me exactly what you want."

"i want whatever you'll give me," you turned your face towards him, giving him your best puppy dog eyes before adding, "please?" you pursed your bottom lip into a pouty position.

that was apparently the magic word because as soon as they had left your mouth, you could have sworn you heard spencer growl in your ear before continuing to kiss and nip at your neck, leaving his marks all over your body. you felt his erection twitch in his pants as you whimpered from the touch of his lips on you which spurred you to grind your ass against his hips. he grabbed your hips to still their movement before sitting up with you, slowly as to make sure he didn't hurt your ribs.

"can you walk to the room by yourself?" he asked in his normal, sweet, non-dominating spencer voice, to which you nodded your head yes as you began to walk where he had asked.

you knelt by the door naked in wait for him, hoping he'd give you something to take your mind off of your injury. when he walked in, he could've sworn he felt his heart grow with even more love for you, something he thought was already impossible.

"princess, why're you on the floor?" he questioned, kneeling down to get eye level with you.

"why isn't your dick in my mouth?" you countered, a smirk growing on your face.

"i was gonna be nice tonight since you're not well so i wouldn't push it, doll," he gave you a stern look that told you to watch it. "i still have some making up to do, i believe?" your smile returned even brighter than before as he helped you back to your feet and into the bed.

once you were comfortable, he was practically worshipping your body with each kiss and hum against your body.

"i can't imagine never touching you again, y/n," he made his way down to your chest, his lips wrapping around your nipple. he gently tugged on it with his teeth before releasing it and doing the same to the other one.

"these tits," he sucked a hickey onto one of them before moving to the other.

"this stomach," he kissed all over your torso, being extremely careful of your bruises as your hands around through his locks once more.

"love the way it feels when i lay on it," he made his way down to your thighs, loving the way you squirmed underneath his touch. he hovered right over the place you wanted most and gently bit down on your thigh, your hips bucking upward subtly from the shock.

"god, these thighs," he huffed as he squeezed them once more. "love the feeling of them wrapping around my head when i'm between them."

"then how about you get between them, then?" you sighed sarcastically, your neediness getting the better of you

"so very impatient," he mocked before pressing one final kiss to your inner thigh. "but what the princess wants, the princess gets. for now, at least."

he licked a thick stripe up your slit, tantalizingly slow just to hear the whimpers that left your lips from the feeling. your hands flew to his hair, gripping it tight as he continued to lap at your pussy.

"so good, sir," you moaned out. "please don't stop. don't stop!" you cried as his lips wrapped around your clit. "uh- right there! yes!" you shouted as your thighs strained to remain still. "yes! oh fuck, yes!" you yelled as the high hit you like a train, his hands grasped your hips so they would stay in place, working you through that euphoria. "oh, thank you, thank you so much..." you trailed off, running your hands through his hair once more as he began making his way up your body, peppering kisses all around you.

"mmm, you did so good for me, y/n," he praised before connecting your lips to his in a passionate kiss. you whimpered into his mouth greedily. "someone's eager, yea princess?" he chuckled. you nodded your head as you bit your lip. "what do you want? i need you to tell me," he whispered, his hands trailing down your body once more and connecting with your sensitive center.

"pl-please," you whined, your hips bucking into his hand. "you, i want you," you informed him as if he hadn't already known.

"you have me now," he chuckled.

"no, no. i want you inside me," you pouted, your hands pulling the hair at the nape of his neck for punctuation.

"you want me inside you?" he asked as he pushed his fingers inside you, your mouth widening to form an 'o' from the surprise. "there, i'm inside you," he teased once more as he began thrusting his fingers in and out. you held onto his arm, a way to ground yourself so you could stil talk without sounding like a baby.

"your- i want your... shit... your dick. i want your dick inside me, please," you practically begged as his fingers began curling inside of you in that perfect spot.

"ohh, is that what you meant?" he asked like a smart ass, you couldn't find it in you to be a brat about it, so you just nodded your head as he worked you through your second orgasm of the night.

"yes! ohhh, fuck, yes," your hips rutted up against his hand from the pleasure. "please, please," you asked once more. "can you please just fuck me now? i want your cock..."

"aww, of course, princess," he said with a bright smile.

he got up from the bed only to remove himself of his remaining clothes before adjusting himself, lining his dick up with your center. he ran his dick through your already wet folds before slowly pushing himself inside of you, knowing you'd still need to adjust to his length.

"so beautiful, y/n," he grasped your hands, interlacing your fingers with his as he began to push himself inside you once more.

it might've been the feeling of being in submission for him, but you felt overcome with emotions. the intimacy of the moment you were sharing was more than just the sex you normally had. it was beautiful. the way he looked at you with awe each time he thrust himself back inside of you. the way you held onto his hands tightly in order to tell yourself that it was real... that he was real.

"god, i love you," he groaned as he kissed you fervently, his pace still set relatively slower than usual. "so much, y/n."

"i love- i love you," you moaned, removing your hands from his only so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling his body closer to yours. "spence, spence i'm so close," you whined in his ear, which only egged him on.

"i've got you, y/n," he pulled back to look at you as you came on his dick. "let go. let go for me," he moved a piece of hair from your face once more as your mouth flew open in pure bliss. your nails dug into his back as your pussy clenched around him, bringing upon his own orgasm, spurts of his releasing covering your walls. "fuck, y/n," he groaned, burying his neck into your shoulder before you pulled it out, wanting to observe him in such a vulnerable state.

"i love you," you whispered, only him able to hear it.

"i love you," he whispered back, pressing your foreheads together as he caught his breath.

when he managed to pull out, he found a new pair of underwear and pulled them on before going to grab you a fresh pair of his clothes to wear to sleep - you liked that they smelled like him, it helped you sleep better.

"where're you goin'?" you whined from the bed, trying to sit up abruptly but only finding a shooting pain going through your abdomen.

"shhh," he whispered, rushing to the side of the bed to guide you back to laying down. his hands found your shoulders and right before he was going to release them, you grabbed his hands.

"are you leaving me again?" you asked pitifully, tears welling in your eyes.

"no, sweetheart," he furrowed his brows. "i'm never going to leave you," he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"i know... i know i can be annoying like you said and i'm working on it," you looked down at your hands, which were now in your lap. "just please be patient?"

"you don't need to work on anything," he wiped the tears from your cheeks. "i never should have said those things to you, whether or not i was upset. i'm so sorry i made you doubt yourself," you found yourself wiping his own tears away. "now let's get you into the bathroom, okay?" you nodded as he helped you get up, guiding you to the bathroom to relieve yourself.

while you were doing your business, he went and got you that change of clothes you needed and brought them to you once you were done. he used a damp, warm washcloth to clean up between your legs and made sure to wash your face for you. he helped you get changed, letting you use him as a balancing bar, and then directed you back to the bed. he rest his head on his pillow, looking over and seeing you still on your side of the bed, not curling up into him as you usually do.

"y/n," he whispered. "i know you're probably still mad at me, which is totally fine because just because we had sex doesn't mean i'm done making it up to you. but... it's kind of harder to sleep without you cuddling with me than i thought. so if you're alright with it can we just..." he trailed off.

"spence?" you asked with a giggle.

"hmm?"

"i'm not supposed to sleep on my stomach or side," you held back a laugh, knowing it would hurt. "i mean, i'm glad we're on the same page about you still making it up to me, but it's kinda doctor's orders that i don't sleep like that."

"oh..." he bit his lip, trying to keep himself from feeling too embarrassed. "right. can we hold hands while we sleep then?" he asked, acting as if he had found a loophole.

"now who's touchy?" you joked, hurting your stomach from the laughter but finding that it was worth it.

"ha-ha," he mocked. "very funny, y/n," he groaned.

"yes, darling," you joked once more. "of course we can hold hands while we sleep."

and you did.

and for the first night in a week, you slept peacefully.

taglist:

@averyhotchner​

@greenprisca​

@muffin-cup​

@emilyprentisslittlewhore

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer x y/n #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg fic #y/n

[serendipityseulgi]

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find. 

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between. 

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.” 

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs. 

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body. 

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox. 

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

 At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you. 

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life. 

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed. 

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!” 

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?” 

Of course you do. 

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.” 

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you. 

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh. 

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?” 

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod. 

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend. 

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time. 

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :( 

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

no

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

:(

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way. 

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics. 

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong. 

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving. 

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him. 

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before. 

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell. 

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss. 

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips. 

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust. 

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy. 

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you  know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you. 

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you. 

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him. 

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another. 

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates. 

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his. 

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry. 

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement. 

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half. 

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture. 

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.” 

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement. 

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly. 

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him. 

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules. 

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much. 

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him. 

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly. 

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her. 

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation. 

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too. 

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees. 

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it. 

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another. 

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?” 

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another. 

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you. 

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused. 

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home. 

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you. 

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...” 

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly. 

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table. 

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories. 

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup. 

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving. 

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia. 

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.” 

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home. 

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire. 

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you. 

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. 

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” 

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly. 

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit. 

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.” 

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.” 

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember. 

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?” 

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” 

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

 “For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another. 

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time. 

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

#park seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa one shot #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez one shot #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #kpop #thekpopnetwork #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #8 ways of love

[90swandamaximoff]

WandaNat <3

Lovely day to ask, don't you think anon? So you picked Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanova, great choice!! I'm assuming from this list? Lets start then, shall we? I will put a keep reading bc it's a bit long.

who is more likely to hurt the other? During training they mostly fight other team members but the few times they've fought each other, they mostly come out with an almost equal amount of injuries.

who is emotionally stronger? Natasha. She does a good job at hiding her emotions but she really is a little bit stronger than Wanda, emotionally. It's mostly bc of her training (before the Avengers) so she sets up more of a wall. And she never took a town hostage so...

who is physically stronger? Natasha again. Natasha has had years of training but Wanda only joined the team after AOU and It's unlikely she had much real training before that. So although Wanda's powers do help her, Natasha is stronger.

who is more likely to break a bone? Like, doing something random and breaking it or during a fight? Since the last 2 have kinda been about fighting, I'm going to go with something random. Wanda is the clumsier of the two so she's always getting hurt. In a fight, she can take care of herself no problem. But at home, she'll break her wrist falling off the coffee table.

who knows best what to say to upset the other? This is a hard one. They both know how to upset the other, even if they rarely do. So, final answer, Wanda and Natasha.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? Wanda. She can get a bit hot-headed and realizes that a few minutes after the argument has ended, which leads to her apologising first. As much as Natasha apologises, she wouldn't be the first one and that's just bc of her training (like many of these answers are).

who treats who’s wounds more often? Natasha treats Wanda's wounds more often. They don't get hurt seriously a lot but, as I mentioned, Wanda is more clumsy and ends of getting hurt over the stupidest things.

who is in constant need of comfort? Wanda. There's many reasons but its really because she's more expressive with her emotions and wants comfort more.

who gets more jealous? Natasha. They're both very attractive women and Natasha realizes that which is why she's so lucky to have Wanda to herself and gets jealous when she sees Wanda talking with people who might steal Wanda from her.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? Natasha and no, I will not give a reason.

who will propose? Wanda. Natasha might plan something but Wanda will do it first and it will be breathtaking. She'd have thought of everything.

who has the most difficult parents? Totally Natasha. Her *mom* and *dad* would embarrass her and tell stories and all that good parent junk. But they would also just be Alexi and Melina which comes with everything that has happened. So yes Natasha's *parents* are the most difficult.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? Natasha. She loves Wanda and isn't afraid to show that to the public. Wanda's a bit more shy and after that whole thing in AOU she's very limited about what she shows the public.

who comes up for the other all the time? I have no idea what that means, sorry. Maybe someone can explain it to me??

who hogs the blankets? Wanda! She loves blankets and she loves cuddling.

who gets more sad? Wanda. She more expressive with her emotions towards people she feels comfortable with so she's fine with being sad more.

who is better at cheering the other up? Natasha

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? Wanda. Don't really have a reason, just think that it's Wanda.

who is more streetwise? Natasha. Do I need to say more?

who is more wise? Probably still Natasha.

who’s the shyest? Wanda. It's mostly bc of how the public views her and she doesn't want to give away too much of her life so she's taken to giving very little about herself to anyone.

who boasts about the other more? Oh Natasha absolutely

who sits on who’s lap? They both sit on each others laps but mostly Wanda sits on Natasha's.

[anordinarymuse]

Please please please write about his thought process when meeting mal at the winter fete and realizing this is the boy Alina wrote to all this time, WHAT ARE HIS THOUGHTS WHAT ARE HIS FEELINGS

this was funny to write because i don't like malina but- also first non x reader imagine how very exciting !!! i hope i wrote ab the right scene rip

winter fete.

Mal Ortesev x Alina Starkov

Summary : the request + this is in Mal's pov

Warnings : i tried to make this as canon as possible (this time i've read the books so ik more ab Mal's char); the dialogue comes straight to book so this is sorta a spoiler (?) but I changed the ending a bit; unedited.

Word Count : 709

A/N : yes i did reread the chapter for this because i forgot what rly happened and i skimmed through the whole part bc i was only reading for *ben barnes*

the masterlist.

request here.

I stand exhausted in the hall we'd been instructed to wait in. I wasn't sure what we were waiting for. This is such a waste the stag is out there, and I could be tracking it down, catching it.

I don't react but my eyes flicker when a familiar figure runs down the hall as they approach. The first thing I notice is a tight-fitted black kefta with gold embroidery bordering every inch.

"Mal!" Alina exclaims, running up to me before jumping to hug me. I almost flinch when her smooth sleeved arms wrap around my neck. I have to stagger myself to keep my balance.

As Alina wraps herself tightly around me I can feel the stares and arising questions suffocate me from the other regiment soldiers slowly exit the palace hall.

"Go on," I say to them, picking Alina off of me. "I'll catch up to you."

They leave but I can see their suspicious looks, which makes me feel sick.

When I look down at Alina, I get a better look at her. She looks almost the same but feels entirely different. I'd seen her show, her beams, her sunlight, it only proved to me even more how untouchable she is to me.

If I had more patience I would be less agitated by the pure presence of her. Something about the kefta, or the fancy air, or her new gleaming look started a fire within me. The longer I stared at her the more pained I felt.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, her voice is too hopeful.

"Hell if I know," I scoff, feeling a hard glare shower over my face. "I had a report to make to your master." I regret it as soon as I've said it, but it's how I really felt on the inside, just a little.

"My...what?" Alina blinks, still in this hopeful fantasy that only makes me angrier. "You're the one who found Morozova's herd! I should have known."

Even though she's untouchable, something I will never be able to acquire to be mine, I want her badly more than ever. Seeing her now in front of me reminds me of what I've missed and what I wish I hadn't seen.

I want to be nice and thoughtful and hopeful, but I can't afford that.

"I should go," I huff, taking a quick glimpse at where I am and where the quickest exit seems to be.

"Sorry," now she speaks with a rising wrath. I'd hit something. "I didn't realize I was wasting your time."

"I didn't say that," I grumble, beginning to regret my cold welcome.

"No, no. I understand. You can't be bothered to answer my letters. Why would you want to stand here talking to me while your real friends are waiting," she snaps. It's not a necessarily harsh, but it's lined with anger.

Letters?

"I didn't get any letters," I say my words hollow with a strange anticipation, my voice catching onto some sympathy.

"Right," she grimaces sarcastically.

How many letters had she sent me?

"We have to move constantly to track the herd my unit is barely in contact with the regiment anymore," I try and explain through exhausted sighs, rubbing my forehead while I'm at it.

"You didn't get my letters?" This time as she repeats her voice is more quiet and small. My no reply is response enough. Her expression changes from the almost cold glare to a look of upset. Her next words stagger out. They almost crack and choke but they don't, "Mal, I... Can't you stay a little while longer?"

I wanted to stay. If I thought anything else I'd be lying to myself, but I didn't belong here. She's a Grisha, I'm a lowly commoner doing their best to survive.

She lives in a palace with the Darkling, showing off her divine powers. Even standing beside I looked like a joke.

If anything, I don't deserve, not matter how hard I'd try. I'd never reach her level of status and I didn't want to bother if my attempts would all be pointless in the end.

As soon as I open my mouth I regret it, but I can't go back. There is no going back, "No."

**********

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#mal oretsev #malina #alina starkov #shadow and bone #siege and storm #rise and ruin #sab #s&b #mal imagine #malina imagine #shadow and bone imagine #six of crows #soc #grisha #grishaverse #imagine #oneshot #angst