#notes for rid 🌹 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taegularities · 7 months

Note

hi, could you maybe write something for STARS BEHIND WAVES?

maybe about how they’re doing right now? (fluff, maybe suggestive?)

I really really love this story of yours:)))

Do you think you’ll write an epilogue someday?

(No pressure, i’m just really obsessed with this story)

Have a nice day/good night;)

fic: stars behind waves

pairing: jungkook x reader warnings: kissing, suggestive, his wandering hands and crude mouth lol, this is literally one of the softest couple i have and i love them so much, mention of fear of heights, oc is scared of a river :'), jealousy <3 pure fluff and bliss and love!! wc: 3.1k lol a/n: thank you for the request!! definitely one of my fav fics 🥺 i don't think i will be able to write an epilogue :( but rest assured, they're the happiest they can be. also, i really kinda love this lil drabble, so if you do, too, lmk hehe <3 a/n 2: i just found this in my drafts from when we were playing the amc game a couple months ago lol. hope you enjoy. is also unedited, so be gentle with me lmaoo <3

–

“Maldives.”

“God, no,” you reject, “sounds gorgeous, but. I can't deal with the heat anymore.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue, fatigued from the unproductive day, but agrees, “Okay. Maybe you’re right. We’ve seen our fair share of…”

The last words turn into a mumble, drifting when his attention does. He scrolls on, big eyes glued to the bright screen. He’s been changing tabs for hours now; between travel destinations and booking sites, he’s exhausted himself.

Several three-digit-numbers have burned themselves into your brain from comparing a dozen vacations; planning such a thing is tedious.

You saved money for this. Working your ass off throughout the year, putting extra effort in overtime hours to visit a place you’ve only dreamed of thus far. Jungkook graduated, and you promised you’d steer towards an unforgettable summer.

His shifts at the bookstore were tiring, too. One too many times you called during lunch break just to meet a groggy voice. The late dinners at home transpired similarly quiet, his eyes similarly fatigued.

Then he’d cling onto you at night; he found your warmth solacing. Would tug you in, smack his lips. Yawn against your shoulder before slipping into dreamland, uttering a couple last mumbled “I love you”s and pouty, whiny “Don’t wanna work”s.

Summer couldn’t come faster.

But so couldn’t dinner.

“Maybe we should think about it another time,” you say. “I’m getting hungry.”

Jungkook drops the attached laptop mouse dramatically, shoving it away as he leans back on his chair and declares, “Thank fuck. I’m starving.”

“Should’ve just said something.”

Dinner is relieving to the two of you; having used up all words for today, you eat in peace, each enjoying your meal. Jungkook, reaching for his glass of water, looks up at you once, bowl half empty.

His eyes land above your clavicles, right where the charm dangles. Sparkles. The stars he promised you almost two decades ago. He can’t believe it’s barely been two years since the summer occurred when he found you again.

Time has passed; the two of you reunited with ease.

Spending days and nights together doesn’t come without fights — occasionally, you snap at each other, reminding the other of lonely times, spitting words that soon turn into regret.

But those arguments, as natural as sunlight, pass quickly and give way to comforting words, lips on scarred cheeks, hands over warm bodies.

Even when you were younger, you’d make up softly, comfortably. Would apologise and seek an unknown spot on the island, starving for a distraction. You’d find yet another shell without pearls in it; would try to make things right.

Jungkook remembers one day particularly well; surprising how well it fits this very moment.

Back then you’d hiked up a hill, dizzy in the damp summer heat. You cursed at Jungkook for dragging you along when you’d suggested an effortless, pleasant afternoon at the small market.

Halfway through your journey, you feared you’d gotten lost. You didn’t meet people anymore. The forest grew more tense. You kept your eyes and ears open for snakes or bears or whatever might linger here.

You only felt a sliver of hope when you heard water splashing nearby, hoping it was a lake or the ocean. But what you found instead filled you with far more discomfort.

Not because the river that you found on top wasn’t very narrow or harmless. Neither because it ended in a waterfall that fell for quite a while and then continued the same river, meeting the ocean somewhere.

No, you felt terrified because you knew what Jungkook would want to do.

“Let’s go back,” you immediately blurted.

But he was already on his shit, shaking his head with a twinkle in his dark eyes. You pulled at his tee, ready to turn at your heel and roll down the hill. Jungkook, however, pushed your hand away, freeing himself from your touch.

“No. Let’s cross this.”

You knew it. He was bold and idiotic enough; an adrenaline junkie the way you couldn’t be. Even cliff diving took you a good while to tackle and then longer to get used to. He taught you and kept doing so every year, because you’d enter the island with a newfound fear of heights each time.

“Uhm,” you said, raising your hands in defence, “I do not think so, dude.”

“But loo—”

“No. *No, I—”

You were so close to the edge, though probably not enough for the current to pull you in. Maybe you just hallucinated the proximity, too. Because thinking about it in hindsight, there was probably nowhere that much of a danger for you.

But you still weren’t ready to die yet.

So you ripped your eyes open further, panicking a little when he stepped into the water along with his terrible crocs. You clamoured, voice higher than ever, “What the fuck are you *doing?”

And maybe you would’ve kept your stance and ran away if he didn’t smile back at you like you were nowhere safer than with him. A reassuring grin, secure and certain.

You guess you were already hopelessly in love with him then. Not to mention that you still constantly lost yourself in the kiss you’d shared on your porch this spring. Your very *first kiss…

And you still craved more ever since. Only, Jungkook had never given you more after that.

It didn’t help when he held out a hand, remaining teasing yet sweet with a tilted, crooked smirk. His stance, firm in the water, lured you in although you definitely weren’t one to be risky like this.

But somehow, he could still convince you. Forced a frustrated sigh out of you, pulling you in like a magnetic force as you neared the river. You could see the other side not too far from you, but in your fear, the distance seemed endless.

“C’mon. We got this,” he promised, his voice drowning in the sounds of the current. “If we die, we die together.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shit, you really think you’re poetic.” You climbed over a rock, taking off your shoes, holding them in one hand as the other clutched his fingers tight from the first moment, like a reflex. “You watch too many dramas, gosh.”

He held you in a careful grip. You were smaller then, and his seventeen-year-old body, a strong result of regular gym sessions, withheld the water far better than yours. You, as opposed to him, almost dropped to your knees wading forwards.

You stepped on a somewhat sharp rock under the white waves, but he wouldn’t let you drift away. His attention remained on you. Halfway across, he said, “Here.”

He took your arm and pulled you close, slinging it around his torso, enabling a stronger grip. He was an ass and gentle friend at once — because he scared you on purpose a moment later, acting as though he was slipping.

And just when you yelped once more, watching him squint an eye at the volume, you swore at him thoroughly. You mewled words you hadn’t heard in your voice before, and he laughed, stating, “That reminds me of a school trip.”

“What,” you panted, out of breath, “goddamn school trip.”

“We went to a climbing park, and like… this girl,” he sucked in air through his mouth, tired, too; and you held your breath, “this girl from my class was literally trembling. I— I helped her over a distance until she felt secure. But…”

He groaned, struggling a bit. Or maybe he just acted like he did, you didn’t know. You were more focused than before, that was for sure.

“She was screaming just like you,” he finished.

Suddenly, you weren’t that frightened anymore.

You even forgot that you’d feared death just a moment ago. Your chest burned green.

You asked, “Right. And… and you were holding her like this, too, huh?”

“Kind of.”

“Cool. Co—”

You were out of balance. One blink passed, and you tumbled, immediately digging your nails into his shirt and his skin. His hands saved you as you placed your free fingers onto a stone automatically, one shoe sliding off your fingers.

The river carried it away from you until you couldn’t see it anymore, and you furrowed your eyebrows, mouth wide as you yelled, “No!”

“Forget it, we just need to move!”

“It wasn’t me who fucking suggested this!” you snarled, gritting your teeth.

Your knees shook. You stared ahead — just a couple feet more.

“I got you,” was all he answered, “almost there.”

And when you finally were, you were still cursing, pushing his body away. Under your breath, you murmured a dozen words, and Jungkook, wiping soaked hands at his shorts, couldn’t stop chuckling.

His hair was damp, outrageous when he pushed it back, but it couldn’t distract you this time. Instead, you threw your remaining shoe at him, watching him dodge it with an amused wide grin.

You couldn’t be bothered with his jokes; he was being irritating. There was literally nothing over here. Who knew if there was a way to get off this hill from here at all.

Knees still liquid, you targeted a tree and took a seat underneath it. You caught your breath, observing him as he sniffled and picked up your shoe. You felt empathy for his shorts; he still dragged his hands over them, leaving dark, wet stains.

Then, he dropped down next to you. Nudged your shoulder and said, “Come *on. That was fun.” A beat of a pause as you moved your head to glare at him. Then, “Don’t look at me like that!”

“*You,” you started, face close to his, a finger pointing at his chest, “were almost gonna organise a funeral.”

“Please. Nothing was gonna happen to you.”

“No. Your *own.”

He laughed again. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up.”

You exhaled. In truth, it hadn’t been that bad. Looking at the river from here, you truly were far enough from the edge, and the water had barely reached your knees. But the thing he said…

You searched for a way to make things less awkward; to not let him know that you were seething with envy. A harmless question came to mind, subtle as you inquired, “Was I at least a little braver than that… classmate?”

He lifted his head in thought, humming.

“Hmm. No.” Your shoulders slumped. How rude. “Hard to judge, though. It took us only a few minutes here, and it took her *hours to cross the climbing park.”

You didn’t tell him that sometimes, you were supposed to take hours. Not everybody was as athletic as him. Hmph.

“You helped her all this time?” you asked.

“Half of it at least.”

You shouldn’t have been jealous. Not bothered by how casual he made it sound, how he nodded… it was all whatever. But also—

“And then?” you dug. “You drove back to school and acted like you hadn’t just bonded?”

“Uhm…” Your heart dropped. Typical first love, typical first frustrating feelings. Your young heart was a lot more feeble. “Something like that.”

But you understood.

“Oh, Jeon…”

“It was just a kiss after lunch, okay. That day, and never again.”

Ah, you hated this. So he could kiss someone else, but not you aga—

No. Stop. What dumb thoughts.

“Okay. Good for you,” you told him, back to your prior tone.

Damn it.

You stared at the abandoned shoe between the two of you.

Shit, how were you gonna go back with one of your initially two Nikes on your feet? He’d have to carry you. At least you put both your socks in the one shoe you didn’t lose…

“Don’t act that way,” Jungkook spoke through your thoughts, patting your knee, “it was a lot more fun with you. She kept saying she wanted to go home and that messed with my own experience.”

“And yet, you kissed her.”

“Yeah, well. Happens.” He rolled his eyes. His voice was still casual and soft; perhaps he didn’t notice the storm in your pupils. “But I’ve had better kisses.”

Or maybe he did notice. Maybe that’s why he was saying that.

You hoped for a certain answer, but still tried, “Oh? Have you kissed more girls since spring?”

Oops. Okay, you didn’t want to ask so explicitly. But up until spring, he had never kissed anyone. And your heart fell into your ass, shoulders relaxing when he admitted, “No. Just her.”

Your eyes were wide now. You ogled at him, and then down to your drying legs again. Suppressing a smile, you nodded; and when you stared up at him anew, he was watching you intently.

Carefully, with tenderness in his gaze.

And he was close. You were half certain he’d kiss you again because for the tiniest moment, his eyes flitted down to your lips. But to your chagrin, the day and summer ended like this — mouth untouched.

He wouldn’t do more until years later.

Instead, he said, “I guess that was the last thing we still had left, right? Think I know this island inside out by now.”

“Probably,” you said, your voice hoarse. You cleared your throat, swallowed. “Would be cool to explore more with you, though. Outside this place, I mean.”

But once again, you couldn’t foresee that it’d be your last summer together for a long time. That you wouldn’t meet the boy bringing you the stars until you had hurt and broken enough.

And he didn’t know either; of course he didn’t. Because soon he promised, “When we’re older and richer, I’ll take you to the mountains. Okay?”

You giggled, unaware of the future. Naive and thinking you’d never separate from him, that you were destined to stay together — as friends or whatever else fate wrote for you.

So you hit his chiselled chest just lightly, telling him, “You’re gonna make me fear heights again, Jeon.”

“Nah,” he rebutted, “I’ll show you the clouds,” he pointed to the sky you couldn’t see, hidden behind the branches and leaves, “from up close.”

“Hmm,” you voiced, “the stars aren’t enough, huh?”

“They shouldn’t be. Strive for more and stuff, right?”

Right…

For a couple seconds, you just looked at him. Nodding a little, smiling, probably lovesick with hearts floating in your eyes.

Eventually, you lifted up your body, getting to your feet with a hand against the tree. “Okay,” you finally agreed, “mountains then.”

–

The charm glimmers in the light. It flashes Jungkook a little, and he blinks, moving his gaze up to your face. You’re finishing up the remnants of your soup, bowl tilted, getting to the last drops.

But your movements are slow, and you’re quiet… and he wonders whether he stayed silent for too long, too.

He calls your name softly, meeting curious eyes. His heart immediately pounds, and he says, “I was just thinking of something.”

You smile. “Figured. I was, too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You first, though.”

“Hmm.” He lets the spoon drop, looking at the empty bowl, and then suggests with folded arms, “What do you think of the mountains this year?”

You raise your eyebrows. Look at him as if you understood. As if you recognised where his mind wandered to, and where the source of this idea lies.

And then, you prove that very point when you ask, “Were you remembering the waterfall incident?”

His lips form an O, expression sickeningly sweet and surprised.

“Were you, too?”

“Just a little. Since we said we don’t want any heat this year.”

He puffs out a breath; a slight, disbelieving shake of his head follows. Then, he simply says, “Sick.”

You kiss your teeth, nodding along. “You did promise back then. Mountains, I mean.”

“I did. And we can still totally go.”

“I’d love to.”

A brief silence envelopes the room. The pause is pregnant, the air lighter than before; and then he breaks the stillness.

“Hey… you gotta admit. You were jealous, weren’t you?”

His voice harbours playfulness, but his eyes hold a glimmer of curiosity. You can’t help but chuckle; thinking back to it, your pout was hilarious. Troubles used to be different back then — your younger self wouldn’t have survived opening the door to a half naked friend. Jungkook, toned chest out, right behind her.

A crazy summer indeed.

“You kissed me that year,” you say, “and then you kissed someone else. Teenage me was going *through it.”

You scrunch your nose, and when he does it in the middle of a laugh, too, you lose your cool. Might be due to the bunny teeth flashing. The sweet crinkles around his eyes.

But you lift off the chair, hurriedly rounding the table, lean over his body and sandwich his face between your palms. You don’t waste another moment — connect your lips quickly, mouth moving against his.

He lets out a tiny sound of surprise, but doesn’t reject you. Instead, his hands wander to your waist in reciprocation, dropping to your hips and then to your—

You gasp, tongues intertwining eagerly; you taste the freshly eaten dinner. Your keen hands hold onto his dark locks. He breaks the kiss only to get to his feet, pulling you close to his body. His head tilts, the kiss deeper. Fingers cradling the nape of your neck.

And then, as he sucks in some air, he whispers, “What was that?”

“Just…” You inhale. “Catching up. Doing what I should’ve done back then.”

“She says as if I don’t kiss her *all the time.” Soft peck against your lower lip. “Or as if I wasn’t just inside her this noo—”

“You’re so obscene, Koo.”

He snickers. “Alright. Now that we know what we want to do,” his breath is warm against your skin; you shiver, “we can book the vacay a bit later, too, right?”

Breathing is hard, speaking even more.

Your lips are parted, yearning for more. You’re irritated by the layers of clothing between the two of you — which is why you’re quick to agree, “Not opposed to a break.”

“Also,” he continues, his eyes locked onto yours, voice tinged with anticipation, “just so you know. Our kiss *was way better than whatever I did with Jiae.”

Another soft laugh escapes your lips; the name is insignificant for you. The intoxication of the moment matters; him and you. But you still jest, “Didn’t need to connect a name to that memory.”

His chuckle matches yours, voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you, you know?”

And that’s all he breathes for the next hour. Genuine confessions, tender praises — your name.

So often that you soon forget any other in the world — beyond continents and oceans.

–

liked it? then let me know!! 😁 and if you haven't yet, feel free to read the full oneshot that this drabble's a "sequel" to, as well <3

#*amc #notes for rid 🌹#anon #fic: stars behind waves #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut

158 notes · View notes

taegularities · 2 months

Note

NAURRRRRRR

ROARSSSSSS LIKE A TIGERRR

#WHAT'S THAT..... WHY'S THERE MORE OF THIS #AND WHY IS HE SCULPTED LIKE A GREEK GOD.. WHY ARE THE KOOBS SO BIG WHY WHYYYYY #weekend ruined #notes for rid 🌹#chu <3

64 notes · View notes

taegularities · 4 months

Note

Riiiiiiid can i have a teeny tiny request when/if you can answer this. When oc was missing, what was going through jk’s head? Like did he thought she left him, got kidnapped by her parents, got into an accident, etc? Just wondering what’s fuelling his fear. Amazing lovely chapter! Srsly chefs kiss 🙌🏻

genre: est. rel. 🥺 fluff, angst wc: 1.3k 🤭 a/n: this turned into a legit drabble LMAO i'd be over the moon if you guys lmk what you think of this lil mess and whether i did a good job? :] not proofread <3

–

if jungkook had the power to undo this, what would he do differently?

hours ago, when you left the apartment.

perhaps he'd handle you with caution. realise that his fret means nothing, and that nobody else defines your relationship but him and you.

maybe he would let you know that he's stuck to you like superglue, no matter what. that he goes insane when you don't show signs of life. and that you're stitched into all crevices of his heart, permanently.

perhaps reacting in such a way could've changed the chain of events today. whatever happened, maybe you could've reached out, rushed to him. instead, you were hidden in a bathroom minutes ago, door locked and a barrier between the two of you.

even now, your mind roams in far distance. waiting for a line to appear or not; and the approaching result fills him with fear. not because he in particular dreads it – but because you do. sniffling, drying your tears, shaking.

jungkook isn't stupid, so he won't tell you how you affect him. how your pain becomes his burden, too, and how he wants the moment to pass, so your tremble stops.

life didn't pain you enough, it seems. something or someone in the skies above is being unfair.

it hurts. it hurts. it fucking hurts.

and on top of everything, jungkook's own ache, courtesy of his overthinking, still lingers. how he wondered if you'd left him. or hoping you weren't hurt. praying that you were unscathed, not a victim of the world's carelessness.

he can't tell you, though. and he doesn't.

not when the minutes pass and jokes are exchanged. not when you explain why you never came home. and not when only one line appears, pushing you into another sobfest that only his arms heal, slowly and carefully. bit by bit.

you're so warm against him. so innocent and relieved, seeking a cure in him to diminish the former pain. you hold onto him so tight, quivering more than ever, crying tear after tear after tear.

jungkook doesn't think he's ever felt such a firm, solid crack splitting his heart. because you don't deserve this.

you're his gentle, enthusiastic girl, aren't you? thrilled about countryside weddings and glued-on stars. you do not deserve this.

your transparent emotions punch him in the guts even when you've bid eun goodbye. and the very next moment, as he comes to a stand in front of the entrance, stalling the drive back home, he feels something stir in him, too.

the same as before when you opened the bathroom door. the same intense yearning clogging up his throat. because when he looks at you now…

tear-stained cheeks. red eyes. yet, a soft smile assuring him that you're okay again…

he knows now. he knows.

"angel..." he voices, and you lift your falling eyelids, endless tenderness in your gaze.

his heart combusts. nervous fear fills his entire being, so worried you might walk away or cry again or be scared off or… or…

tell her.

she might know anyway.

the voice keeps urging him. wants to bare his thoughts, pull them out of his mind.

tell her.

but he doesn't. instead, he calms the brittle organ beneath his chest, eyes blinking his secrets away before he says, "nothing. let's go home."

and he admits now. barely half an hour later, he admits that his choices aren't always well thought out. because how did he manage to pain you again?

crying in front of him, in the middle of the living room, much like… what? a mere month ago. asking him what's wrong; getting back a confused nothing.

he covers his face when you inquire whether he's sure, rubbing it before he responds, "yeah. tired, is all. worn out from the stress."

"i'm sorry."

god. no.

there's no fault in anyone right now. there's no misery, just… realisations. revelations.

"no," he starts, "it's okay."

you swallow, and then argue, "i don't think it is. tell me what you're thinking about."

but how does he tell you? because his words wouldn't suffice. and he doesn't quite know whether the moment's right. how does he unveil something to you that'll never do justice to what he truly feels?

"nothing, baby," he answers; he's being so stupid, "please go to sleep."

but you don't falter. "is it because of the pregnancy scare? or because i didn't call you. i scared you."

"no. it's nothing like that."

he waits.

fuck… he could throw up. you're here, so close, waiting for a response, and he's panicking, nervous, insecure, and… and…

so in fucking love.

"just go change into something comfortable, angel," jungkook gently orders, fuelling the craze in his jumbled mind, "or do you want to eat first? i can get you some food to the bedroom, too."

you shake your head, digging, "i want– you to tell me what's wrong."

but it's not easy. wording feelings has never been easy.

he groans quietly, keeping his foot from tapping the ground. if he told you now… would you react in kind? would you walk away? if he told you now, would you push him away or pull him closer?

shit, shit, shit.

his head falls between his shoulders, fingers grazing his wrinkled forehead, heaviness behind it, "what do i tell you?"

"just. was it… is it seokjin? i won't talk to him if you don't want me to."

god, if you knew…

that seokjin long took a backseat in his head. he would've barely been able to remember his name right now, because his mind is so painfully filled with the same damn things revolving around you.

with the same word, over and over again, repeating in a circle and as a plea.

"that's not it," he promises.

"it's not…?"

"babe… i don't care about him. i stopped caring ten minutes later."

he explains the agitation this morning; explains the far graver evening, how it overshadowed each word uttered in that stupid argument. how you drove him crazy today.

fearing, craving, pining.

wondering if you'd be coming back, if he'd ever get the chance to tell you that you carry his heart with you wherever you go.

and maybe that's exactly what he should do.

right.

enough of this idiocy.

he stands, stepping closer. his voice is unsteady when he calls your name, shaking fingers carding through his hair. he sighs, and then inhales a breath to give his lungs something. to lift the burn.

jungkook prepares his mind for the best and the worst for only a moment before everything goes blank. and then, finally, he realises that, first and foremost, he doesn't need an immediate reaction.

he just needs you to know.

"what is it then?" you still question, tears falling freely, "fuck, just. just say it, please."

your hand curls into a fist, and he rushes to grab your wrist; tugs you into him, a palm on your back. pushing you closer, trying to press his affection into you, and all misery out of you.

he holds your head, holds you right there, lets you cry into his shirt.

and then, he admits, "i'm not good with words, baby. and i don't know how to ever properly verbalise something like this."

"what? verbalise wh–"

then again, does he not know?

no. he does. he just doesn't think it'll ever suffice. ever.

because what he feels doesn't belong to this mundane world. it isn't ordinary; transcends normalcy. no, to him, it appears like something out of a fairytale.

this is what songs are written about; what love stories and novels and movies speak of. the exact rhymes present in poetry. jungkook doesn't have the vocabulary that poets possess.

can't truly explain what you elicit, and what you mean to him, and how insane you make him, and how he wants to hold you and freeze this moment forever, and…

and how he's never been as certain about anything as about–

"i love you."

no… he doesn't need you to answer immediately.

he just needs you to finally know.

–

:'''))))) i have nothing to say except. thank you for this lil request. i am in tears and will go hide in the bathroom now. <3

#*cmi spoiler #kidnapped by her parents had me dying gkjsahfjksaf 😭#thank you so much for reading and loving it <333 #notes for rid 🌹#anon #fic: colour me in #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

114 notes · View notes

taegularities · 3 months

Note

cmi jk, what kind of boyfriend are you?

jungkook, shy, starts, "well, i'd say…"

"wait. can i take this one?" you interrupt, a twinkle in your eyes he can't say no to.

besides, he wants to know what you'd say – so he nods. you turn back in your seat, rambling straight away, "he's an acts of service kind of person, so he comes back with new stuff a lot. primarily decoration and things to make life here more comfortable for me. little does he know that i already feel warm as long as he's here."

"oh. angel…"

"it's true." you shift a little, seeking his fingers. "he likes to bring home flowers and fairy lights and lava lamps for the desk, so i'm more motivated to work on my books. and cooks for me, since he says i forget to eat when i work or write."

you sigh, and jungkook listens with his eyes on his lap, not-so-secretly blushing. "that summarises it well, i think. he's the encouraging and nurturing kind of boyfriend. cares a lot and doesn't ask for anything back. also listens, and lets me cry, never rude just to be funny, and i'm not counting some silly bickering! some guys tend to be rude 'cause they think it makes them cool, you know?"

"babe…" jungkook finally speaks, wrapping his digits around your hand, squeezing. "you really think of me that way?"

you confirm without hesitation, "i'm just scratching the surface, though."

maybe you're right.

thinking about it, he probably yet has to unleash all that being so hopelessly in love with you conjures. he can barely look at you – it fills his vulnerable heart to the brim. it might burst.

so he only lifts your palm to his cheek, smiling through his words as he responds, "i've only scratched the surface, too."

#and he joins all her shenanigans… never makes her feel stupid… values her emotions n thoughts :(((#sigh them <3 #notes for rid 🌹#anon #*amc #*amc: cmi #fic: colour me in

59 notes · View notes

taegularities · 5 months

Note

So when he said he looks most attractive after a shower...😪

he truly meant it :')

#i was eating when this happened and i nearly died :')#notes for rid 🌹#anon #right after the gd cmi10 shower smut too gahhh

91 notes · View notes

taegularities · 5 months

Note

Cmi jk, have you thought of how you want to propose to your future wife?

"i… she's barely brought all her stuff from the house yet, and you–" he blinks, listening as the question evolves. then, breathing a laugh, kinda shy, he hums. "ah. in theory, you say? uhm…"

he folds his fingers, dozing off. deep in thought, he almost doesn't notice the smile spreading on his face. the fantasy wets his waterline. this is one hell of an emotional game.

"i can't tell you what i'd do. not with certainty. you know why?" he shifts in his chair. "because i'd plan every detail to perfection. thinking about it for a few seconds doesn't suffice, because she deserves far more than that."

he sighs, eyes foggy with fondness, "but i promise you. i'd make everyone cry."

"hey, kookie," you call, taking one earbud out; you lift your phone from afar. he can barely see what you're showing him. "do you like those fairy lights?" your hand drops again when you see his changed, gentle expression. "what's up?"

he shakes his head slowly, flashing a sweet beam, "nothing, babe. get the fanciest lights. so you still love them a couple years later. okay?"

#my fucking heart #notes for rid 🌹#anon #*amc #*amc: cmi #fic: colour me in

55 notes · View notes

taegularities · 6 months

Note

Cmi oc coming home to that jk lewk?? Man im just gonna sit on that lap and cuddle him like crazy

"...what are you doing, angel?"

"making myself comfortable. you look very pretty and cosy today."

"and the couch doesn't? look how gorgeous she is, and half of her is vacant, too."

"no! need this lap to survive today, kook, you won't understand." he scoffs. "fine. if you're uncomfortable, i'll take the stupid couch."

he wraps you in an embrace immediately, arms building a prison around you. he squeezes and pulls you further into his lap, scattering pillowy soft kisses on your jaw and cheek as he says—

"too late, love. now you're glued to me. good luck."

#and then he kisses and tickles her until she pushes him away and falls off his lap and onto the couch laughing tears of joy #:'))))#he's like a blanket to her fr.. she needs him in order to rest from tiring work days lol :')#notes for rid 🌹#anon #fic: colour me in

88 notes · View notes

taegularities · 4 months

Note

Cmi jk and oc! Was there a time when you guys woke up and decide it to be a lazy day? Like fck work im going to spend it cuddling the loml

Jungkook, side-eyeing you: "Ah… you hit a spot. Seriously! Namjoon threatened to fire me last week because I was late for the third time in two weeks. He was just joking, but…"

You, eyes wide, pointing to yourself: "It's not my fault! He koala-wraps himself around me and…" Zoning out thinking about the wet kisses to your neck and the drowsy, hoarse whispers to your ear. "He's got no self-control and I'm lucky work isn't too far."

Jungkook: "Okay. Won't do it anymore unless it's the weekend, 'kay? Nothing to do then. Prepare for me and the Blankie to trap you."

You, only half registering that he's using the name you bestowed upon his blanket, whispering: "Wait… Dowayoutsto–"

Jungkook: "What did you say?"

You, clearing your throat: "I said I don't want you to stop. Please keep being late at work."

Jungkook, shoulders shaking as he laughs; tilting his head: "God… Munchkin."

#LOML?????#btw funny how you sent this and then that scene in cmi11 happened like 😭#also opening amc again if you wanna send more stuff <3 #notes for rid 🌹#anon #*amc: cmi #fic: colour me in

37 notes · View notes

taegularities · 6 months

Note

cmi<3

PLEASEEEE 😭 and the amount of sickening disgust is about to shoot up bc they're so obsessed with each other and it's so UNBEARABLE, the intensity with which they're IN L— [gunshot]

#ty for sending this im gonna go sob now 🤧🤍#im gonna say it a couple hundred times but we so aren't ready for the domesticity #bc now you'll see jk as a BOYFRIEND and all the BOYFRIEND THINGS he'll do!!!! *faints*#notes for rid 🌹#sucre007c #fic: colour me in

47 notes · View notes

taegularities · 3 months

Note

which series/ one shot of yours that you’ve written is ur fav?

HELLOOO hmmmm. i'd say there are a couple! cmi is ofccc my baby, but!

my favourite series:

colour me in (jjk)

candles & flames (jjk)

my favourite one-shots:

tales of broken hearts (kth) (!!!!!!!!)

love me better (pjm)

silk & stones (kth)

stars behind waves (jjk)

if you read those, i hope you enjoy them… they carry the biggest pieces of my heart hehe 🥺🤍

#love questions like these #all those jk fics im sensing a pattern #notes for rid 🌹#faiyh

27 notes · View notes

taegularities · 5 months

Note

what’s your favorite series/oneshot that you’ve written?

AH i love questions like these, tysm for being interested in that!! 🥺 hmm.. obviously, the colour me in babies are my everything. but other than that, there are a few i would want everyone to read and love:

tales of broken hearts (kth) — ex2l. all the pain in the world.

love me better (pjm) — took me 7 months to finish and used up all of my brainpower. it's just ❤️‍🩹

stars behind waves (jjk) — it was so easy to tackle and i love everything about it :')

silk & stones (kth)— not a lot of people know that one, but i think i'll never write a fic again the way i wrote this one 🤍

if you ever want to dig into these.. i'd smooch 🤍

#also!! don't know if anyone will answer but!! what's your favourite fic (series or oneshot) of mine? 🤍#notes for rid 🌹#anon

43 notes · View notes

taegularities · 2 years

Note

rid my dear if you’re not too busy, and still open for some drabbles, I have a request. All these amc on ry has me feeling soft and gushy, so my request is ry!tae and a!oc on their wedding night 🥹❤️🥰💍💐👀

fic: ruin you and ruined pairing: taehyung x reader (a!oc) genre: established relationship; pure fluff and smut warnings: confessions and a lot of love :(, they're simps for each other, bit of teasing, wedding talk; explicit sexual content: fingering, oral (f.), doggy and missionary <3, spit stuff, brief masturbation, biting (surprise), dom and big dick!tae (surprise pt2.), one pussy slap, he likes her ass, praising, so many petnames, he's actually SOOO fkn sweet :(, unprotected sex (condoms are cool), manhandling, multiple orgasms, lmk if i forgot smth <3 wc: 3k (u don't understand how much i miss them ok) a/n: i've not been feeling so well lately, so i was gonna say no to this request – but this ask stirred something in me, and now i miss them even more :') it's far from perfect, but i hope u still like it hehe i even made a banner !! :D lmk what u think <3 a/n2: the drabble belongs to my ruin you series (linked above), but if u'd like to read it as a standalone, that's totally possible, too! those are just newlyweds very very much in love 🥺

–

ask my character! (no drabble requests anymore, please!) <3

–

The sly smirk he shoots down to your awaiting body will never not feel new to you.

He towers above you, veined hands under his neck. His fingers slowly work at the buttons that yet keep his skin hidden, and your blood boils. Your heart vibrates. Your eyes dart back and forth between his gaze and his ring finger, now decorated with eternity.

With his shirt down and the melanin popping, he hastily removes his slacks; danger fills his words when his knees hit the mattress and he says, “You looked so gorgeous today.” You hold your breath, shifting back on the bed. “Couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

“Liar. You were too busy admiring the castle grounds and the fairy lights.”

Your back hits the headboard of the bed, but you don’t remain in the position for long. His strong grip settles around your already bare thighs, pulling you down the bed until you’re flat underneath him.

Drawing closer, he breathes against your skin, hands crawling up from your legs to your tummy and then to your breasts. He’s an enchantment, every single time… and despite the years you spent together, tangled up in your room, you don’t know how your heart will handle his unending affection.

You’re officially his now, aren’t you? Officially officially.

“You loved the lights and the flowers just as much, though, didn’t you?” he asks whenever his lips aren’t kissing down your neck and shoulders.

“I did…” you mumble, focusing on breathing, “didn’t expect anything else from us.”

“It was your idea.”

“No regrets.”

“No,” he places a hand on your cheek, brushing back your hair, “fuck no. Never any regrets.”

Taehyung is impatient today – and that says a lot, considering how he’s still moving slowly, carefully. The hour-long pleasure that usually keeps you awake at night falls away this time; his mouth journeys down your body and to your panties right away.

Wet kisses call goosebumps to the surface of your skin; he moans when you do. His fingers tug at the straps of your bra, pulling it down and freeing your perked nipples. The gust of wind through the open window makes you shiver.

“Today was really fucking long,” you murmur, whimpering when he bites your sides. “Fuck, I—”

“Yes. Yeah, what is it?”

“Can you hurry up?”

“You’re flattering me,” he laughs, hands on your hips as his face settles between your spread legs. “On our first day as a married couple, too.”

“Me telling you to hurry up is flattery to you?”

“Is it not?” He plays around the hem of your panties, and when his fingertips graze the spot near your clit, you almost shut your legs close. “You think hearing you beg for dick isn’t flattery?”

“Not begging…” you insist, though the both of you know just how fast he affects your mind. “Just—”

He slaps your pussy with a layer still inbetween; you yelp, looking down at him with furrowed eyebrows as he says, “I missed this.”

“It’s just been two days.”

“So? I miss you all the damn time.”

“Simp.”

“‘Kay,” he only voices before he buries his nose and mouth in your panties.

He inhales, lips toying with the fabric. Then, his tongue darts out, and you feel it subtly, slowly; your body reacts, and that’s all he wants.

Looking up at you, he finds your eyes closed in delight and lust. He dives in again – and this time, he flattens his tongue over your pussy, the material of your panties harsh against the wet muscle. You squirm, groaning, and your hands rush to his dark hair.

It’s still somewhat hard from the gel his tresses got styled with, but when you look at him, the damn loose strands send you into an endless spiral of craze.

“Taehyung—”

“Mmmh.”

His movements become more urgent; soon, he’s making out with your clothed cunt, nails digging into your legs and hips, and you squirm in his grip. Your reaction sends blood straight from his head to his cock, and when impatience wins once and for all, his face shoots up.

Your limbs are shivering already, your nipples impossibly hard. And with the look you wear, he can’t help but feel his underwear tighten. Nearly ripping your panties off of you, he throws them on the ground before finding his way back home between your thighs.

He doesn’t take a moment or two to prepare you for what’s to come; instead, he pushes your legs back immediately, starting to eat you out like a man starved. His tongue and lips feel soft against your pussy, and he keeps changing the pace.

From fast flicks to slow kisses, he doesn’t leave a spot of you untouched. His mouth glistens from your slick – you can see it even from here – and his hair tickles your pelvis. Nether lips spread, he brings a finger to your entrance, and when he teases it with circling motions, you shut your legs around his ears again.

“Fuck,” he says when he emerges anew for a breath of air. “One more time and I’ll leave you high and dry on your wedding night.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

He smirks. “I wouldn’t, you’re right,” the shake and tilt of his head remind you of the devil; he will eat you alive, you know it, “but don’t you wanna come as many times as possible, baby?”

“Now th–that you say it…” you breathe out when he soothes the crescent moons his nails dug into your skin. “But hurry. Please.”

“‘Yeah, babe.” Taehyung’s finger pushes in between your walls, and your eyes roll back at the pleasant intrusion. “No need to worry at all.”

And then, he’s tongueing at your clit. Drawing patterns, watching you leak, his fingers drenched in arousal to their knuckles. He fucks into you slowly at first before he increases his pace, and with the tension already present in your tummy since dinner, you let go with a snap.

“Ohhhh, you— you fucking demon, I—” is all you manage.

He licks you through your high; you feel the smile against your skin. You might’ve remarked something snarky if he wasn’t robbing every little piece of your sanity.

Cautiously, he watches your expression, a deep crease between your eyebrows that relaxes bit by bit. You look drowsy, kind of hazy – the way you always do when an orgasm shakes your body.

“Baby,” he whispers innocently, and you almost scoff; though your reaction dies immediately when he adds, “Turn around.”

“Huh?”

Taehyung laughs, kissing your cheek, your nose, your forehead before he teases, “You really can’t think anymore, can you?” You let out a small snicker, shaking your head no. “Turn around for me.”

You attempt your best to do a 180, and his hands aid you, flipping you over before he lifts your hips. Balancing your body on your underarms, you throw the hair out of your face, and when you glance back a few seconds later, he’s… fully naked.

Pumping his cock.

Hissing, biting his lip. His jaw is clenched and sharp – you want it to cut you open.

You push your body back, wiggling your ass, but Taehyung’s free hand stops you in your tracks when he grabs a handful of your bum and squeezes hard. You let out a quiet vocal, and he says, “You wanna play with my sanity like that?”

“It’s what I’ll be doing the rest of my life, babe.”

“Good one,” he says, albeit not without a tsk and a roll of his eyes. You don’t see his pupils anymore – but you’re sure he did just that.

You feel the mattress shift when he moves closer; his cock rests between your ass cheeks, moving slowly. Leaking precum sticks hot against your skin, and he leans forwards until his chest almost touches your back.

“Here,” he voices, bringing his fingers to your mouth. “Need a good image of what you can do.”

You want to tell him that he knows exactly what you can do – pictures of his eyes rolled back, his cock throbbing in your mouth, your own eyes watering flash across your mind. The way he grunts and groans when he comes in your throat, his voice as deep as the ocean.

Fuck.

Words die on your tongue when he pushes the digits he fucked you with between your lips. It’s the same as always for you, neutral; your arousal awakens nothing in you. But you know he likes your fragrance, your taste, that it drives him crazy to feel you around him anyhow.

Like now.

You swirl your tongue around his fingers, bobbing your head back and forth, eyelids shut as he moans. You imagine that he’s thrown his head back; feel how rockhard he is for you.

His cock shifts down and prods your entrance – you think he’ll push in when you expect it the least. But instead, he removes his fingers from your mouth and says, “Spit on it.”

Offering his palm, he breathes in deeply again, and you land a blob of spit on his hand before it vanishes from your sight. Craning your neck again, you watch as he spreads it around his dick; veins pulsate along his curved length, and you drool at the size, at the sheer delicacy that’ll ruin you all night.

And then, he moves on the bed again, and you avert your gaze, preparing your body for what’s to come.

Wet and filthy, his cock slides in. A loud mewl of his name falls out of you, and your upper body threatens to drop. He fills you up slowly, knowing you need a moment to adjust to him; and once he’s sheathed himself entirely inside you, he asks, “All good, my love?”

“I’m okay,” you assure, your head spinning, “go ahead. Please.”

And so he does.

Starts fucking into you gently, his hips moving in circles. He watches the way his cock keeps disappearing inside you; listens to the sounds that tumble out of you constantly; sees it when you grab the sheets above your head.

“Can I go—”

“Yeah,” you say, already aware of what he’s going to ask, “harder… faster.”

“Okay. Okay, shit.” He pauses, taking the moment to ram into you hard. “Are you even real? Gonna break the bed, I sw— swear.”

He would. It’s not like he has never torn up the pillows in your bedroom. But if he does it here, the hotel staff might complain, so he better practice control tonight.

Even if you don’t want him to.

Taehyung used to tell you how his biggest flex in bed was composure. How he always knew what he was doing, every move calculated – and how all of this broke once he met you. You’re a fog, he always says. You don’t allow a clear mind… don’t allow calculations.

And you notice it in the way his hips snap against yours; the way he forgets the world around him. You jolt forwards, your legs giving in. But the weakness of your limbs doesn’t discourage him; instead, he falls onto you, careful to not crush you under his weight.

Flat on your tummy, you’re caged between the bed and him, raising your arms higher. And before you know it, his hands have wandered from your waist to your wrists, pinning them down on each side of the pillow.

His cock, impossibly solid and wet, fucks you insane – your thoughts are scattered when the curve of it hits an especially sensitive patch inside you.

And he… not even he can believe that you’re real. His thrusts push your ass upwards, both your bodies sweaty; he loves how you feel wrapped around his thick cock. So he lunges in harder.

You nearly scream, “Taehyung—” Your heart thumps wildly, and his teeth nibble at the shell of your ear, his breathing shallow and irregular against you. “Taehyung, fuck, I…”

“Talk to me. Talk to me, sweetheart.”

“I love you… so— so fucking much.”

You do.

You do, right?

And suddenly… something seems to change in the atmosphere.

Your words trigger something in his heart. Something deeply anchored, yet easy to grasp. The wild hammering of his hips calms down, and the firm grip around your wrists loosens.

“Baby,” he whispers, and you hum, feeble in his presence. “I’m sorry, but… can you— can you turn around again?” You hum again, and he adds, “Wanna see you.”

So you do.

Slowly, with sugar and honey in your eyes. No matter how lewd your actions, your eyes are always deep and dreamy. He thinks he sees your soul through them – shiny and bright, like no one else’s ever.

God, he’s in love with you.

There can’t be a day without you anymore. By the laws of fate and love, there can’t be.

With the tip of his member spreading your pussy again, one of his hands wanders to the nape of your neck. His fingers bury in your hair, his lips grazing yours. He looks at you like he’s seeing you for the very first time – sighs along with you when his dick has vanished inside you again.

And then, before he starts moving once more, he admits, “I love you, too. I love you so much, it hurts.”

It hurts.

Every moment without him. You hate being dependent on people – but Taehyung has a hold on your heart that will keep suffocating you in the most delightful way. If that’s the silent ache love and eternal fondness bring, you don’t ever want your heart to stop bleeding.

Your moans, your whimpers, the crying out of each other’s names continue. The yearning, despite the closeness, doesn’t end. But his ministrations are slower now, his eyes lost in you. He doesn’t stop looking at you.

Only fucks you deeper, his pelvis brushing against your clit, untying the second knot that forms in your stomach. And he says, “I can’t… I cannot believe this.”

“What, baby?” you whisper, pushing the stray hair behind his ears.

“That this is happening…” You know immediately what he means. Not sex. Not intimate moments. You’ve had so many of those. But. “My wife. Aren’t you? My—” A sharp breath falls out of his mouth. “My baby, right? My wife.”

You might tear up… here and now. Your eyes are already welling up, glassier than his – and when he buries his face in your neck, kissing your flesh, you throw your head back. Eyelids flutter shut. The one tear priorly attempting to escape rolls out of your eyes and down your temples.

And when the contact of your skins keeps toying with your clit, you let go again at one particularly effective thrust. His name is all you seem to know – the rest of human language doesn’t make any sense anymore. Your voice breaks, your arms around him so tight that your muscles hurt.

Your husband.

Kim Taehyung.

Kim Taehyung – a man you’ll keep forever. His thoughts, his smile, his touch. A future with him and mini hims.

Yours.

“Fuck, I’m gonna…” he manages, but you barely understand. “I love you. Love you. You feel so good, f—”

You press your lips together, still keening – and when he muffles his sounds against your clavicles, you know he’s close, too. He moves inside you once. Twice. And half a minute later, he’s spilling inside you, his seed hot and plenty.

A palm of yours slides down his body, to the firm muscles of his ass. He raises his head, madness in his eyes; his hair is dishevelled, in urgent need of a wash. But you think he’s prettiest like that.

Drowning in you. Unaware of his surroundings.

Taehyung is in love with you, and you will keep repeating it to yourself until you understand this fact’s reality one day.

“You’re perfect,” he then says.

His cock softens, the sheets damp from your sweat and filth – but right now, you couldn’t care less. His eyes pull you in too much, hypnotising; who could care about anything other than him?

“You are,” you tell him, and he smiles. Pecks your nose, and then stares at you with a blush dusting his cheeks. “And today was perfect, too.”

“It was, yeah? I’m happy if you’re happy, then.”

“You know what I loved the most?”

“Mmh… Slow dancing.”

Your eyes blow wide along with your mouth, and you tilt your head in the pretty way he adores as you say, “How did you know?”

“I saw it the moment we started. I knew you loved it,” he pauses, licks his lips, and you look at his mole for a moment, “but also because it was my favourite part, too.”

You nod slowly, pulling him into you a bit more. “We should slow dance more often, I think.”

“We’ll do anything you like, okay? We have all the time in the world now.”

Once again, you nod, and your eyes shimmer with purity. You’re indescribable – a wonder of nature. One of Monet’s paintings, right out of his mind, personified.

Taehyung never questions where you were all his life. Never thinks you should’ve crossed paths before. Because recalling his past, he doesn’t reckon he would’ve gotten into your heart this deep with the personality he used to wear.

Love had its time – and when the first tries failed, you appeared with a halo over your head.

It’s perfect. Every moment, every kiss, every fight and every piece of you – perfect.

The corners of his lips drop, his eyes suddenly sober. Worry creeps up your heart, and for a second, you fear he might slip back into the anxious moods that used to plague him. So you ask, “What’s wrong?”

But in reality… he and his heart are calm. Pleasant waves of tenderness swim in his eyes. And then…

Then he says, “You’re the love of my life.”

Your heart stops for a moment.

You take a deep breath; your waterline dampens again.

And he continues, “Don’t you ever dare to leave, okay?”

As if anything was easier than that. A request so obvious that you don’t even need to think twice before you promise, “I’d be an idiot if I did.”

That’s what you vowed at your wedding today. That you’d keep the beats of your hearts synchronised. That you’d never let him feel the absence of your warmth. And that you’d keep your fingers tangled with his.

That you’ve fallen for him once – and that you’ll keep falling for him forever.

–

please lmk what u think and reblog if u liked it 🥺 !!

#it's not perfect since i wrote it in the last couple of hours but i still hope u enjoy!#*ryamc #fic: ruin you #notes for rid 🌹#anon #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts fluff

451 notes · View notes

taegularities · 9 months

Note

a brief drabble of jk seeing oc in the exhibition or what he thinks when she did not stay the night :( from his pov please

fic: colour me in

pairing: jungkook x reader warnings: overthinking, heartbreak, hope, simping lol, lovesickness, a bit of nervousness, implied tears, soft sweet koo, a cmi9 spoiler :') wc: 1.5k LOL a/n: tysm for the request, i know one or two people wanted that one, so that was a great opportunity to explore koo's mind :') this is unedited, i apologise!! might come back to edit it later. anyways, love you, i hope you like it, lmk what you think mwah!! <3

ask my characters/request a (brief) drabble <3

–

The second day of the showcase and it's already ending again.

And once again, you're nowhere to be seen. It sucks.

He wishes he could calm that raging storm in his stomach; that stressful feeling, mixed with hope you might show up eventually.

But as he glances around, all he sees is a crowd of visitors and fellow artists. They look so happy; the smiles might etch themselves onto their faces forever once this is all over.

From afar, Jungkook waves towards them, faking a brave face. It's annoying how his eyes keep wandering to the entrance of the room, manifesting a glimpse of you.

New guests make his heart skip a beat, and it keeps sinking when it's not you.

That is, until it is.

Some of the people chatting with him finish their inquiries. He sends them off with a nod, following their steps for a moment. Only for his gaze to drift through the room again. And then–

The odd emptiness morphs into gut-wrenching breathlessness. He sucks in a breath when you stand among the dozen faces, looking around.

And you're not a haunting illusion this time. The way you shift your weight to the other leg, heaving your chest in the same nervousness, eyebrows slightly furrowed as you seek him out – no matter how much he's memorised you, he can't make up these tiny details.

You're here.

And now you're looking at him. Directly. Blinking.

As you approach him, time starts moving slower. Thoughts of whatever you shared. Hope for tonight to proceed well. Fear of what you might think of his artistic accomplishments.

He doesn't dare to blink. Doesn't even flinch when you say, "Hi."

He responds, "You came."

"I… almost didn't."

"…I'm glad you did."

Your words are piercing, and his heart in tiny pieces. They pound to a certain, rapid beat, like water drops on drums.

But he doesn't show any of the weakness he feels when you keep talking. Or when you detect his paintings. The speechlessness and the tender gratitude, the pain in your eyes when you understand what he's created.

The moments pass and the uncertainty between the two of you grows, but Jungkook doesn't want this night to end. And when you eventually suggest to take him home, he feels a strange combination of anxiety and relief.

Unfathomable.

–

Small spaces usually didn't bother either of you, because they were the temptation that closed the gap between your bodies.

Like, when he was trapped under the sheets with you, magnetically drawn to you. Arms around you like a safe swim ring, and your breathing against his chest.

Tonight is a little different.

The urge to make you stop the car and to reach to the driver's seat is overwhelming. So he focuses his attention on the outside. Listens as you converse with him.

He appreciates the care, but he'd rather skip to the inevitable talk than to speak about his lack of a transportation vehicle.

The wait toys with him. The tension is palpable. It won't fade; only increases when you finally dive into your emotions. Asking about the showcase and the pain.

Grows and grows when you halt near his place, getting out of the car when you shouldn't need to.

Because aren't you leaving in a moment?

No.

Instead, you pull out a silver object, wrapped neatly. He knows what it might be, and somehow, it already hurts. The intention behind it… that's what aches.

Though the uneasy yearning doesn't end when he opens it, setting eyes on an apparent notebook and his name written in the middle of it, golden and elegant.

Inside, he finds a message

To fill these pages with every curve and contour you desire, and to colour them in. Like you do with me. Happy Birthday, Kookie.

The goddamn hurt won't stop. His breath hitches. He rereads the words, mouths them, relaxing his muscles and slowing down his heartbeat.

It's not working. And his eyes are watering. God, he doesn't think he's ever seen a soul filled with such tenderness before. A heart of cloudy texture; breaking apart every now and then, but soft and light and dreamy and so incredibly vulnerable.

You're looking at him like you're holding yourself together. And he figures he must be mirroring that very expression.

"So… You like it?" you ask.

Does he like it? The fact that you combined his dreams and the affection you hold into one small object? Your feelings for each other aren't materialistic, but if they were, he'd stuff them all into these pages.

He answers, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

“I’m glad. Happy Birthday, Kook.”

Can he let you go again? He doesn't know. Or he does. But he fears your answer. But he still needs to try, right?

And he does. With all his courage, he does.

When he finds himself close to your body a minute later. Face in his grip, apologies on his tongue, hurt in your pupils – lit by the streetlights.

"I crave your comfort," you tell him. Your words are overwhelming. "I hate that I've grown to crave you."

If you knew. If you knew about the sleepless nights and the damp cheeks. The curled up body, tucked in blankets and the summer's heat, but still cold without you next to him.

If you knew. He should tell you.

"What do I do to make it right?" he asks.

But what you answer breaks his heart anew.

"You open up. You tell me how you feel. What you feel." Your chin is quivering; he wants to hold it, wants to calm your sorrows. "You stop keeping secrets from me and tell me what's wrong."

"I have never opened up with anyone as much as with you."

And he means it. All you know are pieces of him; the most hidden one only ever got out to witnesses or when things became unbearable. Like with Nara. Or Tae.

His fingers rest on your cheek, and you wonder, "Why have you never before? To anyone else?"

He's scared. God, he's scared you'd leave him. This is ridiculous. His worries and his faults and all the mistakes he's made. So damn ridiculous.

Shouldn't be keeping you away from him.

"Can you tell me?" you question again. He wishes you didn't – because he wants you to know, but it's not fucking coming out…

And he can't keep hurting you.

"I can't," he admits.

"Why not?"

"Because it hurts."

It always will, won't it?

And maybe he could endure it if it didn't drag you down in the process. Because he sees as your face falls, frustration spreading across it as you start giving up.

He sees that you're waving the white flag, even when he begs for you to stay, to endure this until he can open up. He sees your desperation when you don't answer and he finally walks away and he hates it.

Head fallen and intense dejection expanding in his chest, slow steps carry him across the street. Tonight will be filled with more hours without solace.

But then he hears your voice again.

"That night at the frat party… last year," you start. He halts in his steps, moving to face you. "We were dumb to treat it like nothing. You kissed me back then, too. You kissed me like you didn't want me to leave."

He blinks at you. The frat party.

Maybe he didn't just kiss you like he didn't want you to leave. Maybe it'd feel the same if he kissed you now, too.

And he fucking wants to. He wants the distance gone. Craves that same warmth, enveloped in you, breath against breath, lips against lips.

He doesn't know what to answer. The hundred thoughts confuse him. But among those, one of them is the most prominent, in bold and capitalised letters, surfacing in high speed.

And perhaps he should hold onto it; so he wraps a mental rope around it, pulling it close and whispers, "Angel…"

Steps back to you, closer until you're barely breathing, "Stay the night."

–

It's okay, he thinks.

That he expected so much. That he thought you'd agree. That he painted a picture of you stepping in here again, sitting on the same couch, crying the same tears as him until you fell into his arms.

But none of it will happen tonight, will it? You won't come back. He saw you driving away…

It's okay.

You're right. You probably need time to think; his attack on you was sudden. The change in mind and the pleas to stay. Only half of him thought you would, really – so it's alright.

But that doesn't mean that his chest won't heave once he closes the door and enters the empty apartment. Or that he won't shower with a certain numbness in his heart, trudging to the bed with a bitter ache in his body.

It doesn't mean that, despite the sliver of hope, he won't yearn and pine and crave and long until his eyes are rimmed red, worse than before.

–

okay :') if you happen to read this, come and let me know what you think, i'd appreciate it super much!! bc lol holy that took like 2h? and i am sad. thank you for the request, love. hope it was alright 🥺<3

#*amc #*amc: cmi #notes for rid 🌹#anon #fic: colour me in #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff

67 notes · View notes