#if i didnt wake up tomorrow i would be so fucking happy

[youaremysunshine-court]

.

#like lowkey really wanna stop living idk #idk #i know its not me but she makes me feel so unloveable like ill never be loved by anyone like the minute they get to know me theyll leave #like maybe they only like the front i put up and if they knew the real me theyd hate me like she hates me #i wish id never been born i feel so unwanted i literally just wanna die #if i didnt wake up tomorrow i would be so fucking happy #i dont even know anymore if i had more willppwrr maybe id just fucking kill her or myself and be done with this shit #fucking christ #i say something anything and she takes it and twists it until it paints me as a villain i dont know what to do #i literally said oh i feel carsick and she started screaming at me twlling me not to be selfish i fucking #i was about to puke #i had to shut my mouth for the next hour up the mountains while she talked like nothing was wrong #i dont know if im being unfair to her if my pov is painting her in a bad light or what #but it fucking hurts man #it hurts so much and i dont know what to do i just wanna stop living #why does she hate me so much what did i do that made her hate me so much what can i do to make her love me #shes supposed to be the mature one here but im always the one who stops fighting and withdraws so we can have some fucking peace in this ho #house #i crave the hours when shes out of the house because it means i can just exist without feeling guilty for it

[vvitchy-succubus]

.

#his service was overwhelming and perfect #there were so many people there i couldnt even begin to guess how many #my andrew looked so handsome #and even had his natural little smirk he always wore #all of the flags in Illinois are being flown at half mast for him until Sunday #i was able to get theough the eulogy #and i got to give him one last forehead kiss #everyone went out to his favorite bar after #and we had a shot of whiskey while “friends in low places” played #we drank and told stories about him #i met friends of his i had only heard stories about #and some i didnt know of at all #and my entire gigantic family #im just at a loss for words over how much he was loved #this was the worst day of my life so far #but also it would have made him so happy to see #and that's good enough for me #now i have to sleep and try and figure out what the fuck im going to do when i have to wake up tomorrow

[slutforleeminho]

heyy, i love your work, i was wondering if you could write a fic based on the song ‘the other woman’ by lana del rey where the reader is the other woman. you could do it about any member :)

this is my first ever request since i’ve been on this app so i hope i did it right 😭

The other Woman • Hwang Hyunjin

thank you so much! i’m so happy that your first ask was on my acc! i hope you like it<3

warnings: suggestive(no explicit smut), arguing, infidelity, toxic relationship, plot twist at the end;)

"I have to go, beautiful." Hyunjin leaned down to kiss your forehead after pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He placed his hand on the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. "She'll get suspicious if I stay any longer."

This was normal for you, yours and Hyunjin's little routine. He'd take you out to dinner and treat you like a princess, paying for your meals and anything else you could possibly want. Holding your hand and taking you places you've only dreamed of going, then he'd take you home --your home-- and he'd fuck you like there was no tomorrow. And then he'd leave to do the same things with his wife.

You never understood why he pursued you the way he did when he had someone at home to take care of, but you didn't care enough to bring it up. Why would you? You have everything a young woman could ever want; a young, handsome, rich man who gives you anything you want. But only a few times a week. It's okay though, that just gives you plenty of time to do things that you enjoy like reading and going to museums and admiring the beautiful pieces of art that you wished you could just shove in your bag and take home with you.

"Okay," You said with a tired smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually, I meant to tell you, I won't be able to come over tomorrow. Apparently, Violet has a family reunion, and she wants me to accompany her." He stated as he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his bag from the chair in the corner of your room.

Violet. Such a pretty name for such a lucky woman.

"Oh." Was all you replied with.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not, these things happen," You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into as soon as you entered this relationship, if it can even be called that. "Just text me when you can. let me know when you want to meet up."

"Of course." He smiled.

He kissed you deeply before he left that night, almost making you forget that he had someone at home waiting for him, and you would be left here, cold and alone.

That text that he promised didnt come until a week later.

"I miss the way you feel wrapped around me." Was all that the message contained. You liked to imagine he was talking about your warm embrace, but you knew that wasn't true. He just wanted to feel an unfamiliar body underneath his.

You weren't sure how you ended up like this. When you first met Hyunjin he was sweet and caring, attentively listened to you while you complained about your bad day at work and massaged away all the soreness in your muscles. You can't remember the last time he's taken you out to dinner or bought you flowers. Now you were just his escape from his nagging wife.

You put up with the constant shame and guilt you felt for being with someone who already had their someone, because you thought that maybe his love for you would grow and that maybe someday Hyunjin would realize that you're the one he wants to spend every waking moment with and not someone else. But as your love for him grew your patience shrunk until one day you snapped.

Hyunjin was collecting his things after he had finished what he came here for, which was to get his dick wet and nothing more. "I won't see you again after tonight."

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and stared at you with wide eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I deserve more than this. I deserve to have someone's full attention and all of their heart." You held yourself together, determined not to cry Infront of him. He doesn't deserve your tears.

"Baby, what are you even talking about?" He knelt down in front of you and placed his hand on your shaking knees. "Of course, I love you."

"No, you don't," You shook your head. "You love my body, you love having someone at your disposal, someone you can use only for your own pleasure. If you loved me even in the slightest there wouldn't be another woman getting the treatment that I crave so fucking much." All the emotion you've kept stuffed away finally revealed itself in the form of a single tear running down your cheek.

It was silent for a long time before Hyunjin spoke. "I'll leave her." You snapped your head up so fast that it hurt. "If that's what you want than I'll do it." The way he worded it as if it was your choice whether his marriage ended or not made you sick to your stomach, but you couldn't deny that you felt a flutter of hope in your chest that maybe this didn't have to end after all. But you're smarter than that. He says this now, but he doesn't mean it, and even if he did you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that a woman who did nothing wrong was out there most likely crying herself to sleep while your warm and safe in the love of her life's arms.

"No, be with her. I'll be okay." That was a complete lie but even after everything he's done, you still don't want him to worry about you.

"Please don't do this to me. I love you and I want to be with you. He held on to your legs tighter.

"Funny, isn't that what you told her when you vowed in front of God and everyone that your love for her would be eternal." His mouth snapped shut and his hands left your legs before he stood. He leaned down and before you could register what was happening his lips were on yours. You immediately reciprocated, leaning forward and pressing yourself closer into him. He was so intoxicating, the way his tongue glided with yours so smoothly had you in a trance; you snapped out of it when he placed his right knee on the bed beside you and started pushing you backwards. "No!" you shoved him away. He stumbled backwards but regained his balance quickly. "I'm not doing this with you, Hyunjin. I can't do this anymore, its wrong."

"Since when do you have morals?" His voice was louder this time, he was pissed.

"I've always had them, but I put them aside because I love you!" It was your turn to stand up and look him square in the face. "But the longer we do this the more I realize that this isn't love, its obsession and its toxic. You never loved me Hyunjin you were curious about infidelity, and I was an easy target because my standards were so fucking low that I actually settled for you."

"Fuck this, I don't have to sit here and listen to you degrade me like this." He grabbed his bag and left, but not without slamming the door behind him.

~

The past month has been hell. After laying in your bed for an entire week you decided to pack up all of Hyunjins things and throw them out, the smell of him that was radiating off of them was making you sick to your stomach every time you walked in the room. And then you went to the mall to treat yourself to a new outfit, you wanted something that didn't have any memories of him attached to it. A trip to your favorite coffee shop followed after that. you hadn't been her in a while and you missed the smell of fresh espresso as you walked in the door.

After getting yourself your favorite -a butter pecan macchiato and a small triple chocolate brownie (they were out of doughnuts)- You sat in the best spot in the entire shop, in a little booth in the corner right next to the window, where you could watch the leaves that had no color left in them fall to the ground only to get trampled over by the passing pedestrians. The leaves reminded you a lot of yourself in a way, but you hoped you never had to fall again.

"Hi," a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You turned to find yourself looking up at a very handsome young man. His hair was blonde, and it came down to his shoulders. he had an apron on, and a big smile plastered across his face, little freckles decorated his cheeks. "I saw you bought one of the brownies, it's a new recipe I tried, and I wanted to ask if you enjoyed it."

"Oh," You blinked up at him. "Um yeah it's really good, maybe my new favorite."

"Oh, thank god," He let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that it wouldn't be any good. See a couple of the ingredients I use were sold out, so I had to substitute-" He stooped in the middle of his sentence. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I tend to do that a lot."

"No, it's okay," You huffed out a laugh. He was so cute. "Now I'm curious about what ingredients were sold out." You joked.

He smiled widely at you and stretched his hand out. "I'm Felix."

You hesitated but took his hand anyway. "Nice to meet you, Felix."

PART TWO HERE

THANK YOUUU ALL FOR A THOUSAND FOLLOWERS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL 😭

taglist: @katsukis1wife @sungprotector @seung-mine @favieee @soephiphanymain @z4hir @minnieslover @kjr-army @caitlyn98s @bangchansbae @fawnpeaks @yumiblogs

#stray kids #kpop #skz #skz scenarios #kpop oneshots #skz imagines #kpop senarios #skz smut #kpop smut #skz stay #skz x reader #skz fanfic #hyunjin fanfic #skz hyunjin #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin x you #hyunjin x y/n #hyunjin x oc #straykids angst #skz angst #skz asks #skz au #skz fluff

[nyx-is-missing]

Could you write Clarisse La Rue x Fem Poseidon, where the reader is also a forbidden daughter like Percy?

Rises the moon

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (posseidon's kid)

Summary: when your new sibling gets claimed, you cannot sleep, thank Gods Clarisse cares enough, or too much.

Warnings: none really, but fluff, comfort, clarisse being sweet, life crisis

(Again, i did not rewied it, and it is probably mediocre, but we love our girl clarisse)

That was a moment of rare peace.

It mas the middle of the night, everyone was sleeping, and i had escaped for a quick swim.

The truth is that i couldnt sleep, some days ago, a little boy arrived at camp, poor kid, his eyes had such sadness, lost the only family he had, and just as every newly found demigod, he was confused.

And then, he is my brother, his claim was fast, like a clean cut, but to me it felt like ages, i was watching the trident appear on his head in slow motion, and every tought came to me, specially because i knew, i knew the feeling, i knew the pain, i knew the revolt.

And oh how i felt it all again, not only my father was fucking my life, our life, he was making it 11 times worst, no gods would like the fact that there is now 2 forbidden children, it was unsafe, and now we were unsafe.

"Sneaking out are we?"

I turned around with such speed i almost got dizzy.

"Clarisse! You scared me"

I half whisper, she was standing on the pier next to me, with her hair in a low ponytail, some old soft shorts and a oversided worn of shirt, simple, but so beautiful in my eyes.

"Why are you whispering? We are alone"

"I was trying not to get caught"

"And how exactly is that going for you?- wait you're swimming in your underwear?

Clarisse squinted her eyes trying to see me inside the water.

"...I was going to wake percy up if i opened the drawers to search my bikinis and went changing, besides, Posseidon kid, i can get dry in a second."

And before she could do what i tought she would, insult percy, i said:

"...do you want to join me?"

"Can you dry me too?"

She smiles while taking her shoes off.

"I can try"

I say, turning my back to her while she took the rest of her clothes off.

Seconds later i feel her getting into the water, more seconds later, i feel her hands on my shoulders, compared to my own skin, her's was hot

"You can turn around now..."

She looked even more beautiful in the moonlight, smiling shyly, glowing togheter with the water.

I hold her hand, those hands who made many fall to the ground everyday, those hands made me calm, reminded me of myself, that i was alive, that i was okay.

The way she always pressed the middle of my palm whenever i was nervous made come back to reality everytime.

How could that she, so mean, with a heavy presence, always made me feel light?

Like i was eternally into water, letting the flow take me wherever, so so happy.

I layed my head on her shoulder, letting myself be hugged, be light again.

"Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it? Hm?"

"Tomorrow...for now, can you just hug me?"

She didnt answered, but i could feel, her arms tightening, and a quick kiss on my forehead.

I was all so beautiful.

#fanfic #lesbian #percy jackson #clarisse pjo #pjo series #pjo tv show #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse x reader

[tpwkwriter]

hiii so i have a request! Could you do one like still in harry's 1d days. So like y/n is louis sister and she has been friends with the band since the beginning and harry has been in love with her since he first laid eyes on her and all that. But he never told her because she always had a bf but those bfs would never treat her right like always ignoring her and flirting with other girls so harry kept this like journal where he wrote how in love he is with y/n and how he would treat her right, how he know everything about her all the little things and how no one could love her as much as he does. So then one day like during prince hair harry her and harry are sharing a hotel room with seperate beds (ofc haha, but because they have always been best friends) and y/n finds this journal and like reads all the things he has written and then she goes to him and is like "well, if i didnt know any better i would say mr styles has a crush on me" and he gets all nervous and says that it isnt just a crush and he is in love and that and then he asks "will you be my girlfriend. I cant' go another day of not kissing you, hugging you, touching you I cant stand you not being mine" and y/n finds it very sweet but she is very insecure and kind of rejects him in a nice way because she feel they will critisise her because they expect harry to be w a model and gorgeous girl and harry is tells her how beautiful she is and how he feel in love the moment they met and how it didnt matter what the world thought because no one can love her like he can and he know eveything about her so he asks again "will you let me be your boyfriend" and she finally agrees and then he holds her close and protectively and then y/n starts tearing up and says sorry because she was being silly and he says "dont be. Its not silly, baby. I'll be her to wipe every tear and to comfort you. Your heart is safe here, you are safe with me, my love" and then how they spend the first night together because well they share a hotel room and then the morning after harry saying how happy he is and how he has always dreamed about it and then they meet with the boys and tell em the news and they are all very happy and are like "about time" and yeah hope you understand it thank you again so much it would be great i feel its so cute! <3

Does he know?

OMGOMG THANK YOU FOR THISS!! the detail you put in and the image it painted in my head AHHH❤️

I’m so sorry this has taken so long!! I really wanted this to be perfect!! 🌷 but thank you for your patience It means the world x

Warnings: jealousy, mentions of toxic relationships, cussing, smutty themes if you squint, pent up emotions.

— — — — — — —

— early 2013 —

Harry’s fingers held a ballpoint pen between his fingers, the lined paper sat empty on the table adjacent to him.

There new album ‘midnight memories’ was due mid November of this year, he loved his job but these deadlines took the piss.

‘Fuck’ he whispered to himself, he didn’t realise the clock had gone over midnight.

The shared tourbus was at a halt for the night the rest of the four boys remained in there bunk and no one heard a peep from them through the rest of the night.

“Y’alright H?” Y/n said Peeling the curtain that separated the bunks to the lounging area of the bus, and pulling it back behind her.

“Sorry y/n, did i wake you?” He quietly asked, dropping his pen instantly.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on y/n, she was also the youngest of the Tomlinson family so her and Harry grew up together at the same time and age, hitting each milestone and big birthdays together.

“No, no not at all” she waved, sitting on the sofa next to his.

“What y’doing awake still?” She asked, taking a sip of her water.

“Tryna get song ideas, getting absolutely nowhere” he said, crossing his arms back and leaning back on the cushions.

“What are you doing awake? He smirked.

“Can’t sleep, excited for tomorrow” she smiles.

“Haven’t seen you all on stage for a while” she added.

They sat and spoke for awhile, what y/n was oblivious of is how many ideas he was racking up watching her.

She reached her arm out to grab her water bottle, her wrist was exposed from her hoodie sleeve for a second, what Harry didn’t expect was to see an inky drawing.

“Is that a tattoo?” He asked.

“Oh this?” She askers pulling her hoodie up her arm.

“Yeah, me and Louis got matching a few days ago, a random spontaneous idea that popped into our heads” she laughed repressing the day her and her older brother got matching ‘28’ tats.

“It’s funny because ben, hasn’t even noticed it, and it’s like our 4th month together” y/n mentioned, a slight frown forming on her face.

Harry’s heart teared a tiny bit, she was still with this ‘Ben’ it was clear none of the boys got on with him, he wasn’t the bestest of boyfriend.

“Really?” He asked, eyes widening.

“Mmhmm, don’t know what to do about this whole Situation-ship thing”

“Well, do you love him?” He asked, fiddling with the hem of his band tee.

“I can’t say I do Harry” she sighed, “but there’s a part of me that feels bad” she added.

“Don’t feel bad, if it’s not meant to be, s’not meant to be”

All y/n wanted to do was scream out her attraction to him, something clicked in, the soft and gentle words he spoke, the way he still looked good at 1am after a busy day, the way he made a band tee look like piece of designer. Y/n wasn’t sure what happened.

Y/n soon enough found herself back in her bunk, trying to push down her sudden butterflies, hoping it’s just a 1am sleepy thought, the last thing she wants is to thirst over her brothers best friend.

When y/n and Harry exchanged there goodnights, he instantly got back to his paper.

‘Does he know’ he whispered.

‘Does he know’ he repeated.

‘Your secret tattoos?” He asked himself.

He instantly jotted these phrases to himself.

Harry tried to think to himself of the little things you do.

Maybe you could be his muse this time around?

—

It was 8:45am the next day the bus was off again at 5pm so for now they could relax.

Y/n believed she was alone on the bus, she thought the boys were out doing the coffee run, she thought wrong.

“But she doesn’t know who I am, and she doesn’t give a damn about me” she sang whole continuing to organise her suitcase on her bunk.

As the beats of ‘teenage dirtbag’ continue, she moves her body to beat and sing.

“Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag baaby” she sung.

“Y/n you may be a Tomlinson doesn’t mean you can sing like one though” he interrupted, almost kicking the tourbus door open and walking over to her bunk with her Starbucks in hand.

“Heeeey, I’m a lovely singer, it should be me selling out O2” she said with pride.

“She got you there tommo” Niall piped in walking in.

“See” she giggled.

“Thank you for this lou” she dragged taking a sip of her iced coffee.

“No problemo, me and and the lads are heading to the studio in a bit y’ can come if you want?” Louis offered sitting on his bunk opposite to y/n’s.

“Yeah will do” she answered.

At this point all boys were back on the bus enjoying some quality time together, but all Harry could think of was the remaining lyrics.

‘The songs that you sing when your all alone?’ He thought to himself, that’s a keeper.

——beginning of where we are 2014——

In past year y/n and Harry had become closer than ever, it’s was a night at the MSG, the boys opted on a hotel instead of the bus, to Louis’ dismay y/n and Harry were up for sharing a hotel.

“Neither of you better be doing anything” Louis called the opposite of the hotel door.

“Fuck sake lou, you can come in” she laughed, laying her head back on the hotel bed frame.

The door clicks open to see a wet head louis, who was still clad in his joggers and ‘the who’ tee.

“You nearly ready Harry!” He called, pulling his phone out and glancing the time.

“Yeah man” he said emerging from the bathroom.

“Have fun tonight guys” she called out as they both met each other at the door. “I’ll be sure to watch some shitty livestream of you all prancing about on stage” she laughed.

“Thanks love” Louis said rolling his eyes.

“See you y/n don’t get too lonely without us” Harry smirked flashing her a wink while adjusting his head scarf which kept his unruly curls at bay.

“Bye boys” she called as they slowly walked off and headed to the arena.

They had been gone about an hour and y/n knew they wouldn’t be back till maybe after midnight.

She decided to set down and get ready to stay in her bed and have a relaxed night.

When unpacking her bags and digging to find her favourite pyjamas she was sure she packed. A large ‘thump’ was heard the other side of the room.

“Shit” she jumped.

A relieved smile, when it was something falling out of Harry’s suitcase.

She turned her head and spotted a brown, leather notebook that was lying on the carpet by his bags.

Once y/n had picked out her pjs for the evening, she walked over to the bed she picked out in the hotel room.

She placed them down by her pillows and was about to reach out for her phone by the charging port until something about this note book, caught her eye, ‘one and only’ was scribed into the leather with black ink.

She knows she shouldn’t, she knows that not hers, that’s Harry’s, that’s his property not y/n’s but there was something pulling her in a feeling she couldn’t push down.

A shaky breath left her mouth as her fingers reached out towards the book in front of her.

She peeled back the smooth cover:

23rd of February 2013

Ben doesn’t know how lucky he is, such a smart, beautiful, caring woman, how could he take her for granted??.

Y/n’a heart was running a Marathon.

“No” she said louder than she anticipated.

She flicked to the next page:

28th February 2013

‘All of us were at the studio this evening I couldn’t stop staring at y/n, I feel terrible knowing it’s my best friends sister, but she is wonderful’

Her mind was now matching her palpitating heart, a million thoughts were being processed at that moment.

He really thought the same the whole time?

She quickly flicked another.

3rd of March 2013

Write a couple of songs for midnight memories is it bad to say there all inspired by one person.

If she was mine she wouldn’t be ignored or treated terribly, I hope Louis talks to her about this Ben.

Y/n did agree with this statement getting rid of Ben was the best thing she’s done.

But she didn’t know Harry was the one with a crush.

She couldn’t believe her eyes, he really felt the same? He really did like her? She was almost hyperventilating.

10th of March 2013

I’ve noticed when y/n gets anxious she plays with the ends of her hair, I wish I could just scoop her into my arms and tell her it’s going to be okay.

Ben is finally out the picture, hopefully she can be with someone who knows her self worth.

Her heart is beaming, butterflies fill each side of her tummy, her mind still feeling a little delusional and still very much in disbelief.

Maybe this was her sign to take there friendship another level up.

She slammed the cover over the paper and decided if she’d read anymore she’d become a crimson red mess.

She gently tucked it into the suitcase of where it fell and tried to go on as normal.

She decided to wait up for Harry and see what she could do about this, she couldn’t hide this any longer she wish she knew sooner about his little crush.

It was just past midnight and she heard the hotel room key click in approval.

A tired looking Harry appears.

“Y’alright” she quietly asked.

“Mmm” he hummed shutting the door behind him.

Y/n move to one side of her bed, and patted the empty space beside her, inviting him to join.

Wether it was just his sleepy mind, but he took no time and accepted her invitation.

Y/n let him adjust to the light, and get comfortable not wanting to overload him already.

“Y’okay” he asked, noticing her thinking face.

“Yeah” she smiled.

“Well if I didn’t know any better, than I think that you mr styles have a teeny crush” she said, a breathy laugh leaving her mouth.

His eyes widened, now it it was his time to go red.

“Wha-“ he nervously laughed.

“I guess y’right” he said looking straight ahead at the blank wall.

“Y/n, m’gonna be honest”

“I’m in love with you”

Y/n’s heart pounded inside her chest, this is real? This was real life, he admitted.

“Harry” she blushed.

“And I know, it’s probably weird, we’ve been friends for 4 years now and on a random night , I’m now saying this but, seeing you keep hurting yourself on these boys that don’t understand you, it hurts”

“Harry-“ her cheeks becoming a strawberry colour.

“Be my girlfriend?” Harry blurted.

Y/n’s ears almost burned at the question, Someone she actually had interest in liked her back? And wanted to be with her? She felt like. Lovesick teenager again.

She wanted this, more than ever.

But Louis.

Realistically there was nothing wrong with it, they were the same age, and both wanted it.

“I can’t stand another day, not touching you, not hugging you, not wiping your tears away” he added, which caused y/n’s thought process to halt.

“Harry, y’too good for me” she started, a glossy layer had formed over her eyes.

“Y’need someone better, your options are so big” she said head almost dropping to her lap.

“Hey” he said taking using his index finger and thumb to guide her chin up.

“What I’ve learnt is your the one I want, haven’t been able to settle because of you y/n”

“Be mine?” He asked once again leaning his forehead on hers using his free hand to wipe the tears away.

“Please” he whispered, this is all he’s wanted.

Worried that her words would fail her at that moment all she could do was frantically nod.

“Yeah?” He smiles, there noses basically touching at this point.

“Words baby, need y’words” he reminded.

“Yeah, yes harry yes” she smiled, tears still manage to cascade her cheeks.

“Thank fuck” he breathed, now hesitating to wrap his arm around the girl, oh how he’s longed to do that.

The girl crashes into his touch, not taking her time either.

“Your okay, y’safe in my arms love” he whispered into her hair, pressing his long awaited kisses.

— the following morning —

Both Harry and y/n were getting ready to meet the rest of the lads on the bus, which was round the back of the hotel.

“How are we gonna tell them?” Harry asked getting the rest of his stuff.

“They’ll understand, Louis will be unsure but he’s my brother he can’t hate me forever” she laughed.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and they made there way to the boys.

“Guys we have something to tell you all” y/n began.

— — — — —

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #my fic writing #harry styles au #request #Harry styles requests #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #one direction #fluff #tpwkwriter #harry tpwk #my writing #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x reader #HS #on direction 2013 #lhh

[csprslvt]

you and i, and her. pt 4

Chapter three ( see masterlist for previous chapters)

Summary: After Joel's death Ellie tries to deal with grief, anger and revenge. Reader learns that the perpetrator of Joels death is in fact her past lover Abby Anderson and reader starts a plan to find Abby before Ellie. Betrayal is indefinite but who will reader choose? Her best friend or her ex-lover?

Warnings: loss, aftermath of major character loss, angry Ellie, violence mentioned, sexual references.

When Ellie cried, not able to leave her bed plagued by dreams, re-living the site of Joel’s bloody death, you stayed by her side.

It got to the point where you never left her cabin. You'd resorted to sleeping on her floor, just so she wasn't alone. The last thing she wanted was to be alone. Sometimes she was angry, she would scream and shout and want to fight, but you knew she was just hurting. Other times she would cry and at certain points, what you considered the worst points she wouldn't talk or move at all. She would just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

During one of these episodes you were sitting on her bed, rubbing her shoulders and stroking her hair. She firmly pushed your hands away and sat up.

“Ellie?”

“I want to kill her.”

“Ellie, I understand but-”

“No! No, you don't, you don't know what it was like to see him like that! I cant get it out of my head, everyday all I can think of is how I wont be able to sleep, to eat, to fucking live If  I know shes out there, getting away with it.”

“Ellie,”

“Listen, if you dont support me then leave. I'll be gone tomorrow and I'll find her”

You paused.

“Ellie, I’ll always support you”

She looked into your eyes, searching to see if your words were true. 

She relaxed.

“Okay, tomorrow we are leaving. I’ll take care of getting supplies before you wake up, I won't be able to sleep anyway”

“Ellie”

You took her hands, she gave in to your touch in an instant, she reveled in it. She adored every part of you she could get, even though you hid a lot of you, she would gladly enjoy every moment she was given. 

“I just…If this will make you okay again, I'll help you. I just don't think-.”

“If you're going to tell me some bullshit about how killing her won't bring Joel back don't bother, because I know. It's not like that I just want to hurt her how she hurt me”

You sighed, still grasping Ellie’s hands.

“Okay. I'm with you”

“You’ll come with me?”

“I'd follow you anywhere.” 

Ellie nodded, “Okay, sleep, we have a long way ahead of us.”

“Do you have a lead?”

“I think so, Tommy was telling me about the WLF? Washington liberation front? They Are located in Seattle-”

Your blood ran cold, Washington, Seattle, Abby.

“Seattle.”

“That's where they're located. I'm going to find that bitch and kill everything she has. I’ll save her for last and make her suffer”

“Her?”

“Yea, it was a women, tall, blond, built like an ox” 

Oh shit

Oh fuck!

Fucking christ Abby why did you kill Joel! There has to have been a reason. With her there was always a reason no matter how little it was, there was always a reason.

But it was Joel, Joel who saved you from being killed, Joel who always did his best to help Ellie even when she didnt want him too, Joel whose past haunted him in his sleep, Joel whom you smiled at passing every morning. Joel who was such a big part of Ellie’s world.

“Are you sure it was her?”

“I watched her bring a golf club to his head, I watched her tear him apart” The expression on Ellie’s face was once filled with terror, but now it only portrayed true rage.

Your hands trembled a little bit but Ellie didn't notice, she was too caught up in her revenge plan to seem to realize your panic. And for that, you were grateful.

What would she think of you now? Knowing that you loved the perpetrator of Joel’s painful demise. What would she do if she saw that locket inside, how happy you looked hoisted on Abby’s  shoulders? How would she react if you told her the person you missed the most was the same individual that had ruthlessly murdered Joel?

“Ellie, let's just try and sleep right now. We don't know when it’ll happen again”

“I’ll try”

That night, the two of you had fallen into a restless slumber. Dreams haunted Ellie, but with you, only memories came and filled your senses with the scent of pine. 

The WLF base was cold in the winter, but you didn't mind. Half the time you were wrapped up in your girlfriend's arms and when she was out training or patrolling or doing whatever it was when she disappeared you were out training yourself.

The endless workouts kept you strong, calm, collected, and warm. It was a hobby you picked up from her, though you didn't train nearly as intensely as she did you were proud of your progress and so was she.

One day though she didn't return at her normal time, like she’d always promised. You wasted no time, grabbing your steel toe boots and shotgun, axe hanging from your bag on your side. You were determined to find her.

After all, she was all you had.

The sun went down and it got colder, but still you didn't care. Abby would never stay out this long without you. Something was off.

You kept your eyes peeling spotting a horde of infected, and your girlfriend fighting them off in the center

Breathing in, you aimed the shotgun, far enough that they wouldn't know where you came from.

The first bullet struck at the head of a runner that abby was cornered by

“Gotcha, you fucker”

Abby jumped a bit at noise, the bullet barely missed her head. She looked at the source and you waved and continued shooting from a distance, once the numbers had depleted you ran down to offer hand to hand help.

“Hey babe. Need some help?”

“Fuck. I had it handled” You plunged your axe into the skull of the infected. It made a revolting squelch you cringed a bit before moving on to another one.

“Sure looked like it”

“Oh shut up!” Abby smiled, still beating the absolute fuck out of another runner

It was kind of hot, her biceps pulsing, veins showing off, blood on her face, sweat dripping down her neck despite the cold weather.

God you have problems.

When it was all over, you had both fallen to the floor, it began to snow. You were panting and then stood up, holding your face up staring at the white sky with your tongue out.

“What the hell are you doing?” Abby questioned with a playful smirk

“Catching snowflakes!”

“That's disgusting, put your tongue away.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at Abby, a smile made its way onto your face.

“You wouldn't have said that…last night” You burst out into laughter at your own stupid joke. Abby groaned, putting her head in her hands, still a teasing smile grew on the corners of her lips.

“Can we stop with the ‘last night’ jokes?”

“ You started them?”

“Yea well i'm finishing”

“Oh yea, I bet you are” 

“Shut up… that sounds bad.”

“What's wrong with finishing?”

“Oh my god, y/n. Shut up”

“ Yes ma'am!”

You awoke in the middle of the night, surprisingly Ellie was fast asleep. You sat up in your sleeping bag, pulling your knees to your chest. Cradling yourself, rocking back and forth in an attempt to self soothe.

Ellie, your best friend was going to try to kill your girlfriend. Or rather, ex-girlfriend? You had never technically broken up, you just… got lost. Abby was somewhere, and you were determined to find her before Ellie did. You couldn't just let her die and if that made you a bad person you were okay with it. You were already a liar, a murderer, a thief, what's one more sin on your conscience?

You got up while Ellie was fast asleep. You tiptoed to the bathroom with your pack, taking off the clothes you'd borrowed from Ellie in your time there and replacing them with sturdy jorts, a belt, and a wife beater. Your belt almost resembled a tool belt, you could holster a pistol in it among other things. You’d wear steel toe boots with a pair of thin socks. You grasped at your locket.

You had to find her before Ellie did and return so she did not have a clue. You'd have to lie a lot but it wasn't the first time.

You snuck out, mindful of the creaky floorboards. Ellie was still knocked out.

Poor thing

You've never felt so conflicted before. What would you even do or say If Ellie found Abby? She wouldn't take the betrayal well; you could tell by the way she looked at you that she was attached. And in a way so were you. But Abby, at one point she was your entire world. You knew that indefinitely, you'd have to pick between the two and though Abby was once your greatest love, she killed someone Ellie adored. 

Fucking idiots.

You wandered out, in the midst of the night with a few hours of darkness left. You went back to where you'd found Ellie passed out on the floor. You felt like a shitty best friend, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't like you could let Abby die. She was strong though, very strong, she would put up a fight and that fact brought you peace. 

Eventually after some digging around in that house, you found it deserted but with things left behind. A bullet casing there, a few loose arrows but what really interested you, was a map. Abby was never really good at covering up her tracks, and she had left you a path right to her. The map was marked up with some sort of colored pencil. You held it carefully, pointing your flashlight at it.

Washington, WLF base and Patrol routes are all marked up…so is Jackson with the words “town?” written on it, you almost smiled, recognizing Abby’s handwriting like it was second nature 

You decided you'd bring the map back with you.

Doing one more look around you discovered photos, polaroids.

One of Abby and Owen, smiling.

Your expression dropped.

There's no way she's associating with him again. And if she was, it was definitely out of desperation. Whatever, you'd fix that.

#ellie x fem reader #abby anderson #abby x reader #abby x fem!reader #sapphic #wlw #eventual smut #slow burn #angst #abby and owen #ellie tlou2 #tlou 2 #tlou masterlist #gaming

[gamblersdoll]

Guts takes Nerd's virginity at a wild school party while drunk, Their relationship will change after that for better or worse, write what you find most realistic. :D

tw: dubcon, oral (f), p in v, virginity loss, alcohol for those who aren’t into this kind of setting, this is somewhat new to me as well. please DNI if this isnt your cup of tea

you debated on going, you really did.

parties werent your thing, but you felt drawn to it, to the experience. however, you had absolutely no reason to go. you know, no friends, no reputation, (except for being a nerdaholic,) and no interest in alcohol or anything.

but what if.. he were there? that would be the only reason you would or could go.

damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

the music blasted your ears, practically banging into your eardrums. your couldnt hear anything, yet you heard everyones thoughts. their faces said it all. you didn’t have to hear them.

“she actually came?”

“maybe she thought it was some study group.”

“how much you wanna bet that she leaves in five minutes?”

many faces that you saw. confused, pitiful, disgusted, disappointed. but you stayed to yourself, keeping your head low and just trying to enjoy yourself. the smell of alcohol burned your nose, seeing several spiked punch bowls and the obvious hard liqueur. everyone seemed experienced with the alcohol.

you felt someone bump into you, turning your head and looking at the person responsible.

guts.

he didnt look your way, obviously looking for someone else or something else. it didnt bother you, you were just somewhat happy that he was there. you looked to the punch bowl, deciding that you could relax, yet be safe.

you have never tasted something so strong, obviously someone doesnt know how to evenly measure liqueur and juice together. because you tasted more liqueur than fruit punch. like, only a damn hint.

but you felt so warm in your chest, your tummy, your arms. it was like a warm burn, a comfortable one. you were in a room by yourself, at least. just being able to be at a party counts, right? you honestly dont know why you even came, but for guts…

what the hell are you thinking?

you didnt show up for him, that damn brute.

you took another gulp, immediately swallowing the god awful liquid and feeling that same burn again in your chest.

you were fucked, a lightweight at that. what the hell were you thinking? youre not gonna want to wake up early tomorrow. you couldnt even stand, not like this. you go try to take another sip, but someone slams open the door to the secluded room.

guts peaks his head in, making eye contact with you. “so youre still here. why?” he questions, closing the door and closing the distance between you both.

you reeked of the alcohol, he could smell it on you. “holy shit– are you drunk? i didnt know that the nerd could drink!” he laughs, putting a hand on your shoulder. he’s hysterical.

you look up at him, eyes glossy and puffy, your chest feeling like it’s burning, but somehow you were able to reach up and kiss him. he muffles a protest for a moment, yet, he wraps his arms around you. he greedily shoves his tongue into your mouth, fighting yours, which didnt put much of a battle up.

your back reaches the plush mattress of whoever��s bed this was, but your shorts were thrown off. you laid there, allowing him to touch you in the most intimate way and it all felt like a burning touch. to say you were sensitive was an understatement.

“a nerd having a body like this..” he grumbled, ripping your panties off, “wearing red panties..” he groaned out, his mouth satiated with drool and he dove into your cunt, lapping up at the intoxicated slick of your intoxicating pussy. you moaned out, your body being so sensitive, it felt like each blood cell was in your clit.

you felt like you were seeing stars, your eyes screwed shut and him prying your legs open. he noisily slurped up your juices, you trying to close your legs out of embarrassment. he took his tongue and licked up your clit, to your abdomen, to your tummy, to your breasts, to your lips.

he took himself out of his jeans, stroking himself with slow pumps and crawling on top of you. “relax the most you can. you should know how sex works, right nerd?” he asks, looking down at you.

you nod, “yes..” you say, to the best of your abilities.

he drove the tip of his cock up and down your slit, before sliding himself inside. he groaned, eyes rolling back momentarily and you winced from the stretch. but you were able to relax, thanks to the alcohol.

he thrusted into you, slowly. he did feel something somewhat pop, “guess i popped your cherry, huh nerdhead?” he chuckles, thrusting his hips slower until your hips rested some more. “there you go, fuck you feel good.”

you started to moan out, adjusting to his size and length as he gripped the sheets beneath you. “ ‘could a nerd feel this fuckin’ good?” he questioned, his hips starting to pick up a rhythm. he grips at your hips next, putting his weight into his knees as he pulls his hips back. “take me, take all of me.” he says, each word having their own thrust.

what you suspected was your climax, snapped. and you squeezed on him, eyes fully blown out and you moaned, no, screamed from how nerve wracking your orgasm was. he was better than your fingers, better than a wet dream. you looked down to see his entire abdomen soaked, not really sure what happened.

“youre a fuckin squirter? oh, i see. you’re pretending to be a nerd, but youre some kind of sexual deviant arent you?” he questions and pries, thrusting into your cervix again. he gets close to your ear, dangerously close. he’s breathing on you, heavily. and he’s practically humping his cock into you.

his hips grow erratic, his breathing becoming labored. he pulls himself out, quickly stroking himself to come onto your plush stomach.

he pants out, trying to catch his breath. “how did you get here?”

the drive home was quiet, very, quiet. to your surprise, he drove a smaller car, like a miata. he also was a decent driver, and wasnt even intoxicated at all. he pulls up to your residence, and he unlocks the passenger door. “we’re here.”

you open and close the door, walking around to his side and lean down, poorly. “t’ank you, gus..” you say, walking to your door.

luckily, he waited and watched you until you close the door behind you, then drove off.

#guts x you #guts x reader #guts berserk #berserk guts #guts #berserk smut #berserk

[gennabi]

Hiiii i didnt know wether ur request r open or not, if its not them im sorry and you can ignore this request. Can i request dating headcannons for Opera-san from Mairimashita!Iruma-kun? If you dont want to then its ok, you can ignore this request!

luv ur works! <3 remember to stay hydrated and eat 3 meals a day!

it's actually closed but this made my day, giggling just thinking abt it heh so here ya go 😚 awww thank you so much for loving them!! im honoured 😭🙆‍♂️ i will!! you too anon, please stay healthy n take care of urself <33

dating headcanons

opera x reader (no prns) • 0.6k

romantic; fluff

[ self explanatory title , opera's a little soft bcs yes , cw cussing ]

m!ik masterlist | main masterlist

─does that thing where they would ask for the time you wake up and sleep just so they could text you good morning and good night 🥺

─opera's love language is acts of service bcs i say so

─they love to spoil you!!!

─from letting you sleep in for five more minutes to smtg like

─bathing you and washing your hair themselves when you come home tired, wordlessly massaging your shoulders as you doze off in the bathtub

─also a little mean teasing shit. the funny (or lowkey scary) thing is opera teases with a straight face. straight up spitting lies as if they're facts. if you're oblivious, goodluck figuring out if they're actually being serious or just teasing.

─"y/n, i've heard a rumour that if you don't kiss a certain red-haired butler, iruma is going to hate you and won't talk to you ever again."

"that's not true, he would never do such a thing─"

"you're saying i'm lying when i literally spend day and night in the same castle with him? wow, y/n, i expected better from you."

─they did get their kiss in the end so it all works out i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

─also the type to play around with hair if you have them. you'll do cute and weird hairstyles on each other during sleepovers awww omg imagine opera w the cat ears hairstyle hfffffjjf

─speaking of sleepovers, would definitely be into face masks n shit but only views them as a "privilege/sleepover thing" if that makes sense

─mostly the big spoon but that's because they like to come in bed later than you, checking buttler stuffs for next morning yk, but if they're having an off day tomorrow, would definitely ask to be the little spoon and your heart just squeezes when their ears do that happy flap 🥺😭😭

─your dates are either staying in or some low-tension stuffs like picnics or having a walk through the streets at night kind of thing, they just like to hang around with you and listen to you talk and ramble :') <33

─loves it when you give them a headpat, like one where you do to actual cats

─they just grab your hand n brings it to their head and you ruffle. the first time iruma and sullivan saw it, they dropped their knees to the ground bcs OPERA PURRED??@$$?&

─when you're having a bad day, opera's ears are down all day :( they feel so bad when you feel bad, what's this. their sweetheart not feeling good? oh no :(

─go to extreme lengths to make you feel better (as u fucking deserve yeah!)

─mf bought a new comforter just so you can lie down comfortably in bed bless sullivan's debit card amen 🙏

─doesn't let you move at all like you wanna go to the kitchen? no need to worry. opera will bring the kitchen to you instead 🫡 *not sure if it'll show but its supposed to be the salute emoji

─spoon feeds you :( <3 and yk the thg they do when they sing a lullaby and pat iruma's body to sleep? yeah, they do that shit too. except they're lying beside you because what if a certain bald demon decides to disturb you in your sleep by being loud? no way they're letting that happen🤕

─also LOVES giving you nicknames 💔💔💔 more so the slightly corny ones lmao

─the thing is they do it so smoothly and with their blank signature face even you didn't notice it the first time.

─"do you prefer something light or heavy for tomorrow’s breakfast, lovebug?"

"_ would be nice─ wait what"

─opera's fav place to kiss is your fingers sighs just imagine you talking to them as they play with your fingers and hum as they give each a delicate peck. also has a habit of kissing the inside of ur hands when u cup their cheeks WAHHH 😭😭💗

okay that's it im going to stop here before i go insane and cry more bcs opera's not real </3

#its so embarrassing that i have to google nicknames bcs my dictionary only consists of babe/baby/my love #im not flirty as ive thought 💔 #screw that im not flirty at all MBJAHSHS #gennabi writes 💖 #mairimashita! iruma kun fluff #mairimashita! iruma kun scenarios #mairimashita! iruma kun x reader #m!ik fluff #m!ik scenarios #m!ik x reader #opera fluff #opera scenarios #opera x reader

[sobredunia]

Hey u should tell me oc lore ok? ok we can exchange oc lore like uh. uhm. like. we can exchange. like telling stories around a campfire yeah thats it. yeah. yay

okay so i started writing this and then i had to go to sleep and now that I wake up in the morning tumblr has eaten the entire fucking ask. thankfully i decided to copypaste it on a drive folder but fucking christ i did a lot of text and tumblr eated it all and didnt even care :(

This started out remotely normal and I ended up writing it like fanfiction lmao

(TW: cannibalism (?), death, mentions of alcohol consumption)

Okay so there's this guy named Charcoal, he's a fox that can turn into a human :D. He's been alive for a very long time, causing mischief be it through good actions or bad actions just to see what would happen. Although he can easily blend in with the humans, he changes his aspect to show more fox-like features just to see how they'd react. Most of the towns he's been in either consider him a small god to pray and make offers to or a threat that needs to be eliminated (but he's always faster, always smarter. he knows humans all too well)

The years pass and pass, and he's decided that he's gonna enter this one city looking like a starved and sad teenage boy, trying to see if these humans are foolish enough that they'll treat him kindly

They don't

He begs for money on the streets and no one gives him anything. He begs for food in restaurants that are about to take out the trash and no one gives him anything. He begs other homeless people to make space for one more in their makeshift huts and no one does

The bigger the city, the ruder the people, he's noticed

Eventually, he just pickpockets someone and goes to a random bar to get at least a bit happy before sleeping somewhere as a fox. He'll go to a different city tomorrow

"Are you sure you're old enough for a drink?"

The bar is run by an old man that looks like he should've retired more than a decade ago

This was the most compassion Charcoal had been shown in the entire city, so he decided he'd try to play his role just a bit more

"Psh- of course!" He says in a tone that makes it seem like he's lying, and then slides the coins he stole over to him

The old man frowns, before going under the bar and pouring the drink he had asked for, and then retrieving the coins

He takes a sip, and notices that it's a non alcoholic drink. Still, he technically gave him what he asked for, so he can't complain. He can appreciate a fellow trickster

The two engage in conversation, Charcoal coming up with a sob story about how he's an orphan that escaped a cruel orphanage and is now looking for refuge in an unknown part of the city. He also sees how the old man engages with the other clients, remembering their names and preferred drinks and how much they had all drank, knowing when to stop pouring them glasses. Despite some rude and some annoying customers, the old man dealt with them with patience and appropriate responses, and he always gave a listening ear to any who needed them. Charcoal was definitely impressed

Once everyone had had their fill, the old man shooed them out, all but Charcoal

He offered him a job and a place to stay, living in his house that was over the bar and working as a barista or when he wasn't able to work due to age

"Isn't it illegal to work while you're this old?"

"As long as none of the clients snitch, it doesn't matter. And it's not like you're living a very lawful life yourself"

He cackled. "You got me there"

When Charcoal went to sleep, he decided he'd keep up the bit for just a few more days, just to see what it's like to be a bartender, and maybe snatch all the money in the register once he bails out and goes someplace else

He did not, in fact, stay there for "just a few more days"

He hated to admit it, but he'd actually grown attached to that old man and the barista lifestyle. It was fun listening to stories and breaking or starting fights. He also began to gradually change his appearance, to simulate the concept of growing up. When the old man began to teach him how to pour and mix drinks and what the regulars' preferences were, it genuinely felt like an honor, and his days of aimless wandering and pranks and thievery were long behind him

And then tragedy struck

The old man had a heart attack

He had actually written a will. A will where he left everything he had to Charcoal, the closest thing he'd ever had to family

It actually hurt

He actually wanted to cry

He had been alive for years and years, and this was the one time he had cared so much about someone. Not as a human, but as a person

He decided he'd continue running the bar, to honor him

He wasn't so sure why he did that so determined. But he did

But it wasn't the same without him there

He started to lose regulars and newcomers alike, leaving the bar nearly empty most nights

On a rather populated night, though, he met a certain someone

Someone like him

An animal that could turn into a human

A hare. Chalk was his name

He looked like any other person, although he was rather insistent on keeping his hat on

They didn't recognise eachother for what they were. Not right away, anyway. It was only when he saw a bit of a hare ear poking out from under the hat that he realised

They hit it off right away after that, happy to not be the only ones. Charcoal offered a job as a bartender, like the old man had done all those years ago. He took it, because why not

He was far far younger than him, in his 20s. He still had that bit of respect for human rules and didn't view them as distanced from him as Charcoal did. It was probably a thing that came with age. There were still plenty of humans older than him, after all, and he had next to no life experience

Money wasn't exactly an issue. If they wanted, they could just steal some, but Charcoal knew that's not what the old man would have wanted. He wanted to try living clean. For at least a while. But the bar just kept on losing clients

And then, the straw that broke the camel's back

Charcoal was out in the back, about to throw a trash bag into the larger container, when he noticed something in it

A corpse

A young woman's corpse

He panicked. Someone must've dumped her there after killing her

He couldn't let the body be discovered here. If it did, it would be the final nail in the coffin for the bar, and they would have to close it for good. No one wants to go drink in a place where they murdered a young lady

So, in a panic, he retrieved the corpse and put it inside the bar, locking the door

Chalk panicked when he entered the kitchen and saw the scene

"What the fuck did you do!?"

Charcoal hurriedly explained the scene and the consequences this would have for the establishment if she was found here

"S-so, you want to move her someplace else?"

"No, we can't risk it getting traced to here. Then we'll get in even bigger trouble for having moved it"

"Then what do you suggest we do!?"

"..."

Charcoal took a cleaver and chopped up the body, before turning his mouth into that of a fox, and eating desperately

Charcoal could only watch in horror as his friend ate a human like a rabid beast, turning his hands into claws to rip apart the flesh better

Eventually, he finally stopped being locked in place and left to fill up as a bartender for the two clients they had. Luckily, both of them were too drunk to notice anything. Chalk shooed them out before going back to the kitchen. It was a mess. So was Charcoal. He was too busy licking the bones clean to notice him coming back. Or even leaving in the first place

They cut up the bones even more, before keeping them in a plastic bag to turn into stew later. Things like the skull or the hips were grinded up beyond recognition and thrown out through drains, sinks and toilets, and the two silently agreed to never speak about this again

Besides, they just had to wait around 30 years until the case went cold. What's that to someone who's lived for far longer than that?

At least Charcoal could say that. Chalk was still very disturbed by the whole ordeal. He couldn't really blame him

They pretended not to care when they started seeing the missing person posters

#ask #zecri #oc lore ??? #chalk #charcoal

[tears-of-boredom]

i want to be dead. but you know, in that passive way where its just kind of a fact. im pretty sure its just my womanly hormones talking but i really dont see myself ever getting out of this mud. metaphorical mud i mean. im like laying in mud, and sometimes i manage to stand up,, but you know, im still standing in it, and covered in it. and eventually i fall back down. you know i seemingly really like to make up stupid metaphors. i have no idea why, maybe it makes me feel smart.

im tired. tomorrow i have a driving lesson. my first one. ever. im not really worried for myself, i just feel like the teacher is going to be dissapointed in me or something.

ive been having annoying dreams. in the last one i was smoking with my sibling and i talked to them about how ive been having so many dreams where ive smoked. i hate that my dreams do that. reference other dreams as if they arent dreams themselves. makes it harder to wake up ya know. i wish id have a positive dream for once. amybe one about moving on my own and getting away from this family finally. or more like just getting away from mom. shes literally the only one i want to be away from.

ive been decorating my room. setting up shelves and buying trinkets from kontti. it kind of halted because i couldnt figure out why our nail gun wasnt accepting the nails i was putting in it, and then i couldnt find any other kind. and i didnt want to ask mom for help. and also i decided to do the net thing, which is the main thing, cuz ill hang shit from it. i guess i could hammer a hook into the wall for a painting...but the point was that ive been thinking about the fact that if i wanna move before im 18, all this decoration ive been planning wont have the opportunity to be up for that long. but also that was the reason that ive literally never felt comfortable decorating my room, even when the ones that were completely my own. and i decided that this time im not gonna make that mistake and just decorate if i want to, no thinking about how itll have to be taken down eventually.

anyways im just really sad, and i visited my sister recently and i was really close to crying just because her apartment seemed so safe and so much like it was hers. and i like really want that for myself. and im just sad. and i dont wanna go to the driving lesson tomorrow. not because i dont wanna go to the lesson itself, but because i feel like ill be like at my worst, and thus wont get that much out of it.

i really want to get out of this house. when we were moving, there was like two weeks where me and my brother spent the nights at this new apartment, while mom slept at the old one, just because our trips to school would be much shorter. and those two weeks felt like heaven honestly. i didnt even realise why i felt so good and happy, until mom started sleeping here as well, and all the joy drained from me in an instant.

i dont know how to express to the adults in my life how much i want to live on my own. because im just a child. a fifteen year old child. and living with a different adult wont work. it has to be alone. i can promise you that when i fucking get that apartment, no matter how small or shitty, i will cry tears of happiness and relief.

im hesitant to even type these words but: maybe i should talk to my mom about this. just tell her that i really want to move out. no feeling-sharing needed.

i wanna go skydiving without a parachute. soar through the air for the first and last time in my life.

i wish i could fly. ive wished that for a long time. i remember wishing it ever vacation i had to spend up north. and everytime i spent a recess alone in the school yard.

i hate that im crying just because im menstruating. it makes me feel like my emotions arent true. not like i trust my emotions to be true any other fucking time.

why is life like this. why do so many people get to live so easy lives and then i have to do this shit.

ohhkay i just felt the urge to go get a knife so im not going to feed my own anger.

im tired.

its weird because i do dissociate clearly, but its always more liek just, my body seems weird, and it feels realy creepy how my body just moves when i want it to. and i feel like im just watching through someone elses eyes. it cant be me whos so good at typing. im clumsy, i struggle with guitar chords and mute the wrong strings. why are my hands so soft. it feels really gross to be in this body. but still, in the back of my head i know that im ust making this all up in my head. because who the fuck else is this. of course its my finger that are typing my thoughts out.

even my fucking ring looks weird and foreign.why does my skin have a texture. why are humans os fucking gross.why do i have to feel things.

oh my god im driving myself into a fucking meltdown right down im going to force myself to stop.

#sorry #and i took off my glasses so i cant see my screen that well so im not fixing the typos.. #ew why does being a human feel so gross.. #tearful stuff

[nathank77]

4/9/24

7:18 p.m

I passed out around maybe 8 a.m potentially earlier. On the half MG without anything else.

I probably woke up about 4-6 times but I kept my eyes closed and I heard weird hallucinations like screaming or laughing-thats how I know I am about to fall back to sleep........ it's all the same volume but I can still make out what I hear. A scream is still the same volume as a whisper.. but yea I kept my eyes closed despite needing to pee cause I knew I was done for bc of those extra hallucinations.... I don't hear those during the day.

I woke up at 4:45 p.m..... my HSV2 inhibitor test and gonorrhea/chlamydia urine test was today at 4:40 p.m..... I ran out the door... drove to Quest, it's close... thankfully I had an extra pair of glasses in my backpack... I didnt have time to grab my glasses out of my case on my desk before I ran to Quest bc I really wanted to get it done. So this is one of those time where the whole having spare pairs of glasses is really helpful.. they saved my ability to be able to see when I was driving.

Luckily Quest did the tests..... I hate circadian rhythm disorder... I didn't want to open my eyes, I usually wake up to my alarm and I didn't this time. Back before I had psychosis I didn't wake up to my alarms but since Xanax I've been waking up to them almost everyday... when I opened my eyes I truly thought it was like 3 p.m... bc my alarm was set to 3:30 p.m.

My hallucination really is, "happy birthday," "I've got a birthday present," "that's the depressing part," and hearing my own thoughts being repeated which is maddening. I'm starting to regret aligning with it bc it makes it hard to say listen to a song/tv while thinking something out like what I got to do to today, etc... even without other types of chatter..

Anyways I await the results. I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea. I know that hsv2 test was a false positive, yet I'm still worried..

I hit CVS, and then took a shower. I'm home now writing. I have an appt with apple later about my phone number bc it's associated with another account.

I was going to check out some Eyewear places near me but of course with my circadian rhythm disorder, and the time frames its impossible. Maybe I'll start with lens crafters on Saturday and then next week my schedule is less busy and maybe I can make it work.

I'm anxious about oversleeping tomorrow bc of my T-Shot... at 3:45 p.m... I'm so sick of being tied down to this appt every other week. It can't be later than that.... if I could do it myself or have my gf/family/ or anyone reliable do it, I would have significantly less obligations to fulfill every single month. I mean it's a fucking chore. This month alone in total its 3 appts..... it's actually really a huge source of stress. If I could do it myself or have someone else to do it, well I would have had 2 ultrasounds this month, 2 Quest appts, and one dentist appt...

Anyways, maybe I'll game later. Maybe I'll just stare at the TV mindlessly. I got to take a 1MG tonight/tomorrow at like 4:30 a.m so hopefully I can fall asleep earlier and get 7 hours and wake up before 3 p.m.....

I have that stupid dentist appt bc the doctor couldn't see me the day of the cleaning on Friday... I might just cancel and reschedule I need down time. All these optical centers near me close at like fucking 5-6......... it would be cool to be able to swing by a few. They are close together. Maybe I really will reschedule cause like if I go to the dentist, I expect to get my teeth cleaned and see the doctor that same day and only come back if they find a problem...

I still have my ultrasound next Wednesday at 4 p.m on my lower region. I'm worried about that... making the appt. Then them finding something... despite their being no reason for me to think they'll find something.

I just feel like between circadian rhythm disorder, sleep issues, the voice always screaming to get my attention. My constant auditory hallucination forcing me to drown it out and my ocd always being there forcing me to make rules, avoid things, my life is so stressful.

I got my refund back and I can afford glasses. How can I fit going to a few stores locally into my schedule when I'm always going to the doctors and oversleeping...

I have my disability appointment on the 16th at 1:30... idk if I'm just going to reschedule it, maybe I'll take 1 mg and try to make it so the damn thing gets off my fucking to do list and I get my fucking back pay. I'll feel like fucking shit...

Beyond that my arm still hurts from my fall. The x-ray came back clean. I waited until my doctors appt and had her send me in a MRI... it got denied so I sent in the appeal paperwork...

But yea I'm trying hard to stay on the ball, everything is counting against me.

I thought something, what if Elise brings up brendan if I ever run into her. Well if she excessively brings up their plans. I'll assume she's happily married and I will be happy for her but I'll have to cope with that potential of us being together not ever happening.

If she brings up he is with the girls I'll assume nothing. If she says they talked about divorce I'll just listen and say I'm sorry. My jaw might drop a little. That's what I'd do..

Although I don't expect her to show up Saturday. I hope she does.

[andvys]

ANDY LOVE

THIS CHAPTER WAS SO ENTERTAINING DKJDISJSIDDISS - honey anon

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

noo that's sad :( they seemed so nice with the meatballs and everything

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

OMG WAIT!! I SENSE DRAMA POTENTIAL. the love triangle + alcohol 👀

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!” 

THERE SHE IS THE LOML MY WIFE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair. 

she's so right. what about our girl getting into a polyamorous relationship with rob and chrissy

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME YOU WOULD NOT GET THIS INFORMATION OUT OF ME BYE

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins. 

HAHAHAHAHA i remember when in high school we would work in groups and there were boys in our group but our math teacher hated us and was so mean and she would still call us girls just to spite them 😭😭

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle. 

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM CUDDLING IN THE BACK LMFAO

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it. 

me reading about the drugs imagining the possible effects cause i've never been been under any influence (wish i could paste gifs here 😭)

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” 

BISEXUAL QUEEN

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face. 

do share your experiences robin go on, lemme just ✍️

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles. 

hUH

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.” 

GIRL

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?” 

STEVE GETTING EXPOSED ON HIS BIRTHDAY BYE IM CRYING 💀 her reaction is so me i also was shocked when i first learned like "people do that????"

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

BRO 😭

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him. 

NOT THE KITTY KING IM WHEEZING

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

WHAT IS GOING ON

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” 

WHO WHO WHO WHO WH- (turns into an owl)

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. 

don't embarrass yourself further 😭

You are so fucking done. 

ME TOO BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SPICY OKAYYYY

IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE ANDY!! 🤭

WHY DIDNT I SEE THIS LAST NIGHT AAHH BESTIE IM HAPPY YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER!!!! 🩷

'with the meatballs and everything' why did that make me laugh LMAO

reader getting into a relationship with Chrissy and robin? 🤭

LMAO boys had nothing more than to get called 'ladies' or 'girls' even though it's clearly very sarcastic

Steve being a dumbass and getting exposed, Eddie making reader jealous, what else is new 😩

BESTIE I THINK YOURE GONNA LOVE THE NEW CHAPTER HEHE 🤭 how are you doing?? 🩷

#andy’s asks #💃🏻💅🏻 anon

[journalofabrokenheartedvirgin]

Page 76 (part 1)

You talked about us being sims and how every version of us as sims paired the two of us up together. I was so happy because I had always wanted the “soul mate”, “in every life”, “in every universe” partner and relationship. You bringing that up made me feel like you saw this as long term and like maybe we were meant for each other. Yet, not a month later and youre ending it. It shattered that vision for me and it felt like you never meant any of it. You told me I was one of your favorite people. Im guessing that wasn’t the truth? You said you were happy I was in your life, was that a lie? I just feel so blindsided, I really liked you and I thought you felt the same but I guess this time our sims deviated from the norm. While I was out looking for maroon lingerie, you were probably figuring pout how to break up with me. I was more invested then you, I liked you more than you liked me and I shoulndt be surprised. Why would I think any differently, I am such a dumbass to think you would actually want to be with me long term, no one ever will be. You say im amazing and worthy of love, I wish you could give it to me, right now, youre the only one I want that from. I hate knowing ill never get to hug you or kiss you or cuddle you, or hold hands with you again. Seeing you last night sitting on the couch made me think when we would sit together on a couch and cuddle or touch somehow and I wanted to do that so badly, to just go over and sit and touch you, but that dynamic is over. It fucking kills me. I felt like I was having a panic attack seeing you. I felt so fucking claustrophobic in my body, I felt like I needed to leave, to go away and get away from you and the feeling of being trapped inside of myself. I wanted to leave the party I didnt know how I was going to make it through it, I felt like it was impossible. And it almost was, hearing you laugh and seeing you smile, I just miss it all so much. And then you went and started joking around and quoting an audio I showed you, that we quoted together. It was our audio, but now you use it with other people. It felt like a gut punch, it was just an audio but it was something we said together. I miss our jokes, and its almost too much to hang out with Wade and Summer because their humor is so similar to yours that it just hurts every time they say something funny, it just all reminds me of you. Its going to be two weeks tomorrow and I just cant believe its been that long already, just two weeks ago we were watching HOHH and I was so excited that you were watching my favorite show and now you may never finish it. And a month ago was Borrego Springs. It was fun but now the memories are tainted because now I know you may have been thinking about if you wanted to stay with me during that trip. And its like we were sharing a bed and making out and spent 3 days together and it all just feels is fake now. That cuddling and kissing in bed felt so nice, it felt so fucking nice to wake up and see your face and now those memories will always make me sad. I miss it. I want it back. But I know I won’t. Why cant i. Can I do something to change your mind? Do you want me to have sex with you? Is that what will make you come back? Probably not. Thats just my own insecurity about sex coming out. But if there is something I can do to make you come back, please, tell me. I miss you so much, I think about you everyday. When I wake up, when im at work , at home, and when I go to bed. I miss seeing you after work, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays, my longest days, the thought of seeing you got me through the day, and now I dont have that to look forward to anymore. And summer has said we can hang out on those days and I appreciate her and love her and spending time with her, but its just not the same.

#love #breakup #brokenhearted #heartbreak #relationship #journal

[kdipshit]

Money ;

I show up for myself every single day, I wake up and the first thing I do is try to better myself, I wake up and im grateful, I wake up and im happy I’m alive. I wake up confused as hell as well though don’t get me messed up, I’m running out of weed and I haven’t been to work in a month. Its getting a tad out of hand, just like my situation, lol, seems to be out of my hands, do I need to pull up to my job and confront the entire establishment or do I keep being patient…. Its like they get annoyed when I ask about my hours… like ma’am? Anyways, saying optimistic and using my time wisely, how ever I would love some fkn cash right now, don’t we all? It fucking sucks without money doesn’t it?

Yes… yes it does, but ultimately I’m the one who out myself in this position…. Right? I couldn’t keep up with juggling work and mental health at once, it became too much, it became unbearable, but on the days I could handle it all, I was the fucking man. I hit my numbers, go above and beyond, coz once I’m focused, its pretty easy to get into the flow of it. I have so many new techniques to use once I go back to work, and I shouldn’t be worried weather or not they’re even going to roster me at all, but I am. I am worried, and I’m a little upset I couldn’t stick it thru on my last rostered day. But I chose myself, that day, even though the better choice would have been to put my head in the game and just finish the day, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I was fine physically, but my mind was racing and I might have gotten violent if I didn’t watch myself, so I got in an uber and left.

Since then, I have not wasted a day. I don’t think, and I have blossomed into something I am extremely proud of, because Instead of showing up to work, I showed up for myself, which has made it easier to show up for the rest of life. I am ready and willing to do the mahi, I’m no better than anybody else. I work to sustain my life, independently.

Tbh if you ask for my snapchat thats so gross. Y’all I used to pop my pussy on snap for HELLA bands…. I aint tripping on snap, but the tiktokers took over. I would never make a personal snap EVER again its like my snapchat when I was younger was just me getting super fucked up like every single day and looking super cute doing fkn lip syncs and getting hundreds-thousands of views I was DEFINITELY a snapchat bitch, but that me was so young, like mind set wise, its childish idk. Ill use it to make money tho lmao, the hustle stays. I really don’t want to prepare myself to start dancing again but shit I will if I have to. Stripping can be VERY fun, but i think the alcohol might win in that fight scenario.

The writing really slows me down, and I’m here for it, it helps me so much, with every single letter, every word, every sentence bring me closer and closer to unravelling our mind. Its like a spell I cast, only I have the password, hidden amongst my writings, flooded within hundreds of thousands of words, because I know how much I like a challenge.

Any substance that I use, I abuse, its like do I really need that fkn much to sedate myself? Like shit bitch… why so damn much, I didn’t even know addiction didnt have to be a choice. Its like every 2nd heart beat is for the substance. Or for the feeling it gives me, or for the feeling it takes away, who knows, I just know that I THINK I need it, look at the consequences, its gonna have to effect me physically, and I’m going to have to get through that, without the substance to save me. Only myself, as I am fully capable. Okay I’m going to save my last cone for life threatening emergencies only. Day 4, starting tomorrow, 28th March. Substance deficit. I’m using my medication for the wrong reasons, I’m abusing them, and I know that, so, this is my moment of change. most important thing to remember is to show up for yourself. Be honest with yourself. Sit with yourself, write it all out.

Am I TMI for the internet? Lmao idk, I barely fucking read. Im the type of person who hears someone fart and looks around seeing if I catch anyones eye, but my question is why I even heard the fart in the first place, in this massive room full of distractions, I get so fixated and kind of zone out on the background noise, sometimes its all I can hear, I’m done so much embarrassing shit when I’m focused on something I don’t mean to be focused on, like other peoples conversations or other people movements… I focus too much on other peoples movements. To make sure no one comes into my space, and if they do, that Im ready for it, but its gotten me to trip up ALOT . I wonder why I do this?

#blogging #new blog #mental health #actually bipolar #actually borderline #mental instability #actually bpd #original post #original writing #original words

[xxx666xxxnight]

we were just playing with each other in bed like little kids. tickling each other, he showed me posts he sent me on Instagram and we laughed at stupid shit posts. then he just switched. and i meant nothing, not even a friend. i dont know why hes like this to me now. he doesnt see it. he doesnt care. im in so much pain. from the little things to thr bad things, they all add up. they all feel like stabs in my chest. i wake up everyday feeling depressed because the man sleeping next to me might wake up happy to see me, but he might also wake up wishing i werent there. i think this is starting to affect my health. i cant fall asleep at night because my ming is racing with thoughts on how hes cheated, how he doesnt like me, how he doesnt love me, he doesnt find me attractive, he treats me horribly but doesnt see how. once i do fall asleeo i never want to wake up, i dread everyday because hes my life and he doesnt want me. everything he does consumes my mind and that may sound pathetic but its just the way it is. my head always hurts. im noticing that my stomach only hurts when hes around. i just want him to love me. i dont know whats wrong with me. ive never been this kind of girl. hurting herself and her life over a boy. i had dreams. i was smart. i had friends.i was going to go to college in new york and finally break out of my shell and go party and date different boys and girls but never settle because im young and focusing on myself and this sounds so cliche but it's true FUCK.

im only 19 im only 19 but i feel like my life is ending over a fucking boy. he took my high school years. he took my first kiss. my first smoke. my virginity. he took over my life and maybe thats my own fault but i didnt mind. because he used to love me just the same. he looked at me with love, and he wasnt mean to me, and if he was on accident he cried because he felt bad and he told me i was the most important thing in his life and now im garbage. i feel so alome. so stuck. i dont know whag to do. i domt want to leave him.i love him so much it hurts. i see a future with him.i want to marry him. were living together, weve blended our cat family together weve helped each other through everything. ive helped him through everything . we went through highschool together, friends, friend breakups, pet death, family problems, vacations, EVERYTHING. we've lived life together and we're so young. please i dont know why this is happening. i thought he would love me forever but its already ended. i felt like we've been together for forever but also like we jsut met. hes 2 different people. i miss him so much. i wish he would come to the bathroom right now. i wosh he cared. i wish he was up right now worried about me. but i know he isnt. deep dowm i know he was annoyed when he felt me get out of bed. deep down i know hes sleeping right now. and deep down i know ghat im going to talk to him tomorrow and cry to him and give him a speach and hell sa sorry and we'll go back to normal.

i camt do this anymore. i dont know what to do.

[calsgotdepression]

7/30/22

im a month out from surgery and im feeling a lot better but still feel hopeless. i love my family and my friends and i know they reciprocate but i have nothing i feel to really give them. i either feel too much or too little and never in the right times. im happier than ive ever been but without a goal to work towards now, i feel aimless. im going to college with tuition paid for but i dont want to go, and there’s nothing i want to do when im older. i never thought id live this long. the talents i do have are fairly meaningless and though i dont actively feel suicidal i cant help but feel my impending doom in the future. right now im fine. ill wake up tomorrow and go about my day and maybe even feel happy and pet my cat but i know eventually im going to be the one to take myself out. ive always felt this way. i wish i didnt feel so sad and so empty and so full all at once. i want to enjoy things but i want to stop eating. i want to adopt several cats but i dont want to take care of myself. im on meds, im doing fine, but jesus im sick of being tired all the time. i want to exercise but i cant take the step to get there. i want to brush my teeth but my sensory disorder makes me gag the second the paste touches my mouth. im tired of not being able to eat with my family or friends or around anyone or listen to any mouth noises at all without feeling so miserable and angry and would rather hurt myself no matter the consequence just to feel something other than the feeling i get when i hear those noises. i feel like i wasnt meant to live in this world. im here now but i feel out of place. i feel like i cant walk right anymore, one of my legs gives out a bit. im not ugly but im not attractive, i feel lovable and equally that i dont deserve to be loved and ill never find that love. i want a relationship but i dont. im terrified to walk alone on the sidewalk or even in a grocery store or anywhere. even with people i cant stand up straight and i feel everyones stares at me even if they dont. or maybe they do, i dont know. im not delusional anymore but there was something comforting about having a magical quality to life. the cons were many and i dont want to be like that again, but the delusions of grandieur made me feel like i was okay to exist in this world. like i could control the weather or had friends of higher powers than me and i felt special and important. now im just some guy and i wish i had never read those fucking fantasy books when i was younger because now im a disappointed adult who craves anything interesting. i dont actively do anything to put myself in harms way but i like it when im hurt, especially when you can see it as other people start to care then. even with people who care now with no questions asked i feel the need to show every scar and cut and bandage everything because ive got nothing else thats interesting about me. i like cats. i wasnt meant to live this long. i dont think ill ever find love in anyone romantically. i dont know if itd be better if i was dead or not but i know that the future holds me with a noose tied around my neck and it gets tighter every day. one day its going to choke me out of all my life and i know that. i dont know, im not omnipotent or omniscient whatever it is. i wish i believed in a god so that i felt comfort in dying knowing that id get to see the people i love and have loved again. i hope there is. i cry because people make art and care about each other and love each other and i want to hug every single person in the world but i cant. i cant even like myself.