#idk guys i’m extremely tired so i’m just speaking

[arthur-r]

first song they played so i only hit record in the middle of it but here’s morning

#the best part of the song is from before i hit record :( #i am made of meanwhiles - neither here nor there - neither soul nor scared #and then it goes: drinking from the faucet - til the future comes <- first line within my recording #anyway good morning i’m kind of dedicating myself to this pursuit here #eventually the whole show will be in mp3 format on soundcloud and then i can die happy #in like. some years hopefully. but happiness before death is kind of ideal #like i don’t want to die happy i want to live happy. not that that’s a controversial opinion #idk guys i’m extremely tired so i’m just speaking #me. my post. mine. #poolboy bootlegs #also ignore my giggling at the end it was just. so good!!!! #if you were there you would have giggled hysterically too

[stardew-shitposterino]

Most to least likely Stardew Valley Bachelor to be lovey dovey in a relationship

Ok peeps, I’m in the mood for some random posting. Since some of you enjoy it, I’ll commit to it ! Why not 🤷🏼‍♀️so let’s goooo✈️

Oh and btw: a bit of NSFW again because I’m a degenerate lol. Soz to the minors 🫣

1. Elliott:

-Elliott is the obvious choice, isn’t he ?

-this man has no chill when it comes to showing you how much he loves you

-he isn’t huge on baby talk, but he’s huge on medieval Shakespearean reenactment to show his love to you

-you might not always understand where his play on words come from, but it sure as hell makes you blush like a mess

-whenever you and him have a sleepover, he leaves a note on your table that reminds you of how much he adores you! So cute 🥰

-flowers, romantic dates, evenings spent at the pub sitting on his lap while he caresses your hair, marvelling at it with a slightly drunken gaze and red cheeks 😫🫡😍😏

-…I just know that guy eats you out like no other…I said what I said 🥸

2. Sam

-ok hear me out! Before you come for my throat, I think he is more likely to be very love drunken than some of the other choices. It’s a close call for the second place, but I believe he deserves it

-overused but I don’t care: he has the golden retriever energy. Maybe it’s his ADHD, but regardless, he’s a pure boy

-he might be a little anxiously attached to you because he won’t leave your side during your honeymoon phase

-he wants to hold your hand or touch you in some way all the time. He just loves having you close 🥺

-expect him to kiss you senseless whenever he can. Preferably in private because he doesn’t want his mum to find out through bystanders, that would be embarrassing. Other than that, he wouldn’t care for the life of him. If he can pepper your neck with little kissies, he will

-speaking of kisses: he’s generally a huge fan of intense make out sessions. He prefers them over sex any time. Not that he doesn’t like the other stuff, but to him, it just hits different

-imagine that blushy, heated face when you pull away 😳 eyes hazy and hair even more disheveled than before, just adoringly gazing back into yours and smiling ever so slightly (😩😭🫨)

3. Alex

-“still no Harvey?! What’s wrong with you!?”

-I know I KNOW. I know that Harvey is a sweet boy in the game who tells you a lot of cute stuff, but idk. Something about Alex makes me believe he will be more likely the kind of partner to be sweet and a bit cringe yet adorable when it comes to the person he loves

-he might not be a poet, but he shows his adoration in other ways

-back 👏🏻 hugs 👏🏻

-generally hugging you? He will do it all the time. Any time. He will climb through your small living room window to hug you at least once a day if he has to

-for some reason, he likes kissing your arms. Don’t ask me to elaborate, he just does. Like kissing them up and down. Oh and your thighs 👀 it doesn’t even necessarily lead to anything explicit, he just loves them so much

-he will tell you how you’re the love of his life and how he cannot wait to see you two grow old together. He will lay in bed with you, maybe just watching tv and randomly blurt out something like this: “wow, who would have thought that we’d end up like this, meeting in this tired town. Having you by my side, I might be the luckiest guy to ever exist.”

-Alex frequents the beach to talk to his deceased mother. It’s kinda sweet in a way because he will talk to her about the things happening in his life. Pre-dating as well as in the midst of your relationship, he tells her so much about you, wishing she was still alive to have met you as you are the best thing that has ever happened to him 😭

-Alex is a hunky boy, but he loves bathing with you :3 something about it just makes him feel extremely euphoric 🥰 but he will cup your boobs the whole time lmfao (no matter what kind you have). That might also lead to him kissing your neck the whole time till both of you are in the mood 😶‍🌫️👀

4. Harvey

-Harvey at forth ?! HARVEY?! COME OOOON

-yes, I know. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t cute and affectionate with you ! This ranking is pretty close as all of the bachelors have their qualities that make them good partners 🥺 it’s just based on my own headcanons or assumptions about what they might be like

-ok so Harvey is a little anxious mess but LOVES to be a real gentleman when he’s in love

-I’m talking putting on his finest Jazz and dancing with you in your living room, slow dancing while just enjoying each other’s closeness 👀😍

-Harvey shows his affection mostly through everyday things. Like making you coffee in the morning or cleaning up for you. Not to mention peppering you when you’re sick as well as doing small gestures that show you that he cares and wants to make the effort for you

-Harvey LOVES to put your foreheads together while holding you close. Since he’s way taller than you, he has to crouch a little in order to make it work (it’s so cute omfg 😭😤🥰😍💀🫣🫨😫)

-forehead kisses too 😭👏🏻😫 he’s all about soft, sweet affection

-there are many headcanons about spicy Harvey and I get where this is coming from, but I do believe that his sweet, pure side is predominant. Like yes he will want to sleep with you, you’re a couple and he’s not asexual, so why wouldn’t he want to do that 🤷🏼‍♀️

-speaking of this, he loves to lay in bed with you in your post-coital state. Like of course he enjoys the deed, but what he enjoys even more is the after math that consists of laying together, skin to skin, just talking or laying there in silence and enjoying each other. It gives him the feeling of being one with you, of growing even closer than before 🥺

5. Sebastian

-Sebby can be a really cute guy once he lets his guard down, but I don’t think he is the most obvious in love even when he is very infatuated with you

-he just isn’t that kind of guy, you know?

-Sebastian loves to cuddle with you in bed, especially while playing video games. His room is his safe space and sharing that space with you while doing something he enjoys, it’s just perfect to him

-he will show you how much he likes you by taking you on small adventures despite being a homebody. He didn’t fix up that motorcycle for nothing. Just you and him outside, discovering new places. It’s something he doesn’t offer to just anyone

-in public, he’s very reserved and doesn’t feel comfortable showing his affection, but at home? He latches on you and won’t let go. Of course he needs his space every once in a while, but it’s not rare for him to try and crawl under your shirt with you just to feel your warmth (he’s very cold most of the time)

-he loves touching your tummy. Ok ok I know this one is controversial but he just loves it. When you’re a little soft and he can grab onto something soft and warm? Oh boy, he will….he will 👁️ he also loves kissing your abdomen. Again, don’t ask me, I have my reasons

-when it comes to intimacy, he surprisingly prefers giving over taking. I have a feeling he prefers non-penetrative sex more ? At least speaking of “traditional” straight sex. Again, don’t ask, I cannot explain. So I imagine when he’s in a relationship with an AFAB farmer, he will want to either eat them out or finger them senseless because it brings him pleasure. It’s very specific I know but it feels right🤷🏼‍♀️

6. Shane

-you all know by now that I have a mild obsession with this guy, but yeah…I gotta admit he isn’t cutting it in this ranking

-it’s not that he isn’t capable of giving a lot of love, but he has his barriers that keep him from showing his love freely

-he will get there eventually, but before that, he’s very…well…tense ? He has a hard time initiating romantic gestures or telling you nice things

-again it’s not because he doesn’t want to, it’s that he is in his own head too much that he cannot garner the courage to do so. You’re dating but he still suspects it’s all a tasteless joke on him

-in those moments when Shane beats his inner critics, he can be such a sweetheart omfg

-I’m speaking kissing you behind your ear, caressing your waist and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He isn’t very eloquent most of the time, but when the moment is right, he just knows what to say to you to make you feel loved

-Shane is the type of person to show his affection through mild bullying and joking around. He might be calling you a dwarf or giant (depending on your height difference) make fun of little things you do that he notices, but it’s never in bad taste. He always makes sure you know it’s just silly banter that usually ends in you two fighting playfully and then tumbling on top of each other, laughing and kissing 🥺🥰

-this man, this man loves when you sleep on his chest. On a lazy Sunday watching tv or just when he wakes up in the morning, noticing your head’s weight on him. It makes him feel useful, like he can protect you (let’s ignore that the farmer slays monsters as a side hustle, k). He will kiss your head ever so softly and whisper how much he loves you while doing it 😌

-if you want him to be the kind to hold your hand in public or kiss you, you’ve set your money on the wrong horse (rehab was supposed to be a fresh start), because he is not that kind of man, sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️ he will start to do it once he gets comfortable enough with you, but it’s not that much. PDA just isn’t in it with this guy 😤

-his spicy side? He has plenty spice, but when he’s in the mood for some romance, he likes it slow and sensual. It’s a bit out of character for him, but sometimes he just wants to enjoy your presence and the slow build up of excitement and arousal. Expect him to enjoy guided self-pleasure. Picture it like this: he sits behind you, taking your hand and guiding it through the process of what you’d do to yourself 🫣 while, again, whispering hot stuff in your ear (yeah my version of him is into whispering lmfao). That’s the good stuff 😫

#stardew valley #sdv bachelors #sdv shane #stardew valley shane #sdv Harvey #Stardew valley Harvey #sdv Alex #Stardew valley Alex #sdv Sam #Stardew Valley Sam #sdv Sebastian #stardew valley sebastian #sdv Elliott #Stardew valley Elliott #stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanons #Stardew valley bachelors

[willingcannibalvictim]

RvB vore headcanons: Blood Gulch Chronicles Edition

RED TEAM

SARGE

-old man

-would eat blues as a way to establish dominance

-might also do that with his own team for similar reasons

-rants to prey about “the good ole days where milk was a nickel” and WAR

-tries to get all spooky scary when pred but just doesn’t land it

-unlikely/unwilling prey. makes him feel like less of a leader

SIMMONS

(i actually have some good headcanons for this one with evidence to back it up)

-a CHRONIC insomniac

-skinny queen, amazing prey

-due to his cyborgness, he has robot organs, meaning robo stomach (air conditioning yesss)

-also has oil saliva (which is a little gross but hey)

-noms grif most often out of the reds

-due to his (headcanonical) insomnia, he often can’t get to sleep easily, but finds that grif nomming him calms him down and helps him sleep better

-checks up on prey like every 10 minutes bc he’s just a nervous little guy :3

-speaking of grif…

GRIF

-chronic eepy

-mmmm chubby pred my beloved oooo yesss <333

-tends to nom Simmons either bc a) he can’t sleep or b) idk man bros hungry

-sometimes engages in accidental vore bc, once again, chronic eepy

-rubs tum to comfort/calm prey down, especially if unwilling

-weight in his stomach knocks this man out in like 2 seconds

-when prey, also falls asleep within 2 seconds. like he could get nommed for protection purposes after running away from some guy trying to kill him and just loses all the adrenaline immediately.

-extreme cuddling fan <3

-chubby pred = soft and warm tum.

DONUT

-amazeballz :O

-gets flustered pretty easily, this goes for being pred or prey

-ONLY and i mean ONLY noms when ppl ask. doesn’t nom unwilling prey for a few reasons

-1) prey kick which he is REALLY sensitive to and 2) feels really ashamed when prey gets really scared and doesn’t know they’re safe

-enjoys tum rubs from prey. calms him down.

-similar to Simmons, checks on prey a bit too often

-sees vore as a really intimate thing so he gets really fluster when nommed and his words get all shaky and auwuquwuq

-just a little guy :3

BLUES

TUCKER

-doesn’t mind prey that’s unwilling and puts up a fight

-he’s had to deal with kick before if yk what i mean 😏

-he’s a lover, not a fighter, and doesn’t enjoy the idea of holding prey in his tum for periods of time that they’re uncomfortable with

-occasionally gets bit cocky when nomming prey, to prey’s annoyance

-he’s a bit of a jerk but overall harmless

-as prey, firmly believes the superior answer is hands first like a little fucking bitch

-if unwillingly nommed, he fights a bit but gets a bit tired after like 5 seconds

-just a little guy

CHURCH

-the most tsundere middle aged man in the entire world

-usually unwilling prey. that man is NOT going down without a fight

-denies any allegations of enjoying being nommed (he’s a LIAR! LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!)

-noms prey for two reasons mostly 1) prey won’t shut up 2) protective purposes

-epsilon church? now that’s a whole other story i’m not going to get into here

-also denies nomming prey for any purpose other than those two reasons (once again, FUCKING LIAR!!!)

CABOOSE

-he’s such a silly little goobernut i have so many hc for him. holy moly

-100% noms other to protect them

-pretty much everyone on the blue team is half his height, so nomming them is pretty easy

-rants to unwilling prey about things they like in an attempt to calm them down

-tbh he does a lot of things for unwilling prey in an attempt to calm them down

-does it work? sometimes!

-slightly hums to prey and rubs tum for comfort

-actually the most teddy bear of a pred ever conceived.

-noms Church mostly despite his protests. Church settles down after a while and gets used to it.

-he’s just a little guy 🥺

-out of the blues, his tums actually REALLY soft and comfortable. it’s like laying on a giant pillow that is alive and moving and encased all around u.

TEX

-holy shit she is a BITCH

-unwilling prey? SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!! willing prey? SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE AS WELL!!!

-she will not take shit from anybody

-100% pred all the time

-similar to Sarge, uses vore as a way to establish dominance in a group

-if she noms you and she KNOWS you prior to nomming, my dear that is a sign of utter and complete respect and intimacy

-if prey is unwilling and kicking/screaming, can and will punch her stomach to get the point across of “shut up, will ya?”

-also uses vore for protection of her colleagues (aka blues)

-“this place is full of mean ladies!”

OTHER AFFILIATIONS

DOC

-yooooo doctor

-stomach fluids have healing properties, something he greatly takes advantage of

-really cares about prey he’s nomming and, like many others, noms for protection

-noms after battle or fight to aid wounded prey (this includes nomming multiple prey at once. i see u tooo)

-however, doesn’t nom the reds or blues together unless they know each other and are on good terms. they will have a “GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!!” moment. that isn’t very comfortable for all parties

-enjoys vore as a prey because it makes him feel safe and protected. huge extreme cuddling fan.

-stomach is warm, but in a way where it’s comfortable and won’t make prey overheat

-out of the reds and blues, other than grif and caboose, his tum is probably the most comfortable.

-tummy rubs? tummy rubs ooooo ^^

————————-

and that’s all for now! i’ll do one later with the freelancers we see in rvb (dead or alive)

#felix says stuff #felix writes stuff #safe vore #soft vore #extreme cuddling #v0re #sfw vore #vore talk #vore related #vore headcanons #red vores blue #btw go watch rvb if u haven’t watched it #it’s an amazing show #protection vore #e a/t

[nap-mak]

Eyyyy, it's me, what's up, my vacation is almost over and so i've decided to give you a lil something i've been working on, enjoy :)

Incorrect quotes staring Ferngully (it's mostly just Batty but i try to even it out)

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*the gang in general*

Batty: I think we're missing something.

Crysta: Teamwork?

Zak: Cohesion?

Pips: A general sense of what we’re doing?

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*how Zak and Pips quarrel really went*

Zak: *Screams*

Pips: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Crysta: Should we do something?

Batty: No, I want to see who wins.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*take one of Zak trying to teach Crysta slang*

Crysta: Zak, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Zak: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Crysta: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Batty.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*take two of Zak trying to teach Crysta slang with a Batty who tagged along*

Zak: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Crysta: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Batty?

Batty: Probably “road work ahead”.

Pips: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*Batty locking himself in Zak's room*

Zak, banging on the door: Batty! Open up!

Batty: Well, it all started when I was just a lil pup...

Zak: No, i meant-

Crysta: Let them finish.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*unapologetically spiteful*

Batty: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Zak: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Batty: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Zak: edible

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*jebaited*

Batty: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Crysta: Alright.

Batty: TraitorSayWhat?

Zak: Excuse me?

Batty: What?

Crysta:

Batty:

Batty: No wait-

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*More of Zaks and Pips rivalry*

Crysta: You have to apologize to Pips

Zak: Fine.

Zak: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*With how many times he's been hurt this might as well be true*

Batty: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*The writers when they decided that killing Batty in the end of the movie was a bit to much*

Batty: What’s up guys? I’m back.

The whole fairy colony: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. We literally saw you die.

Batty: Death is a social construct.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*Zak’s job sucks ass*

Ralph, addressing the other workers: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Zak: But – that’s just a trash can.

Ralph: It sure is!

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*Pretty in character*

Pips: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Batty: Thank you

Pips: I didn't say that was a good thing

Batty: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*Batty's treatment towards Zak summarised*

Zak: I was arrested for being too cool.

Batty: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

*The fucking saxophone solo in Battys rap*

Crysta: What time is it?

Batty: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Batty: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Pips: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Batty: It’s 2 am

THIS. THIS MY FRIEND, I LOVE YOU FOR!

ITS SO GOOOOOOODDDD AAAAA

i will be rewatching the movie at my earliest possible convenience

(also thank you for the Pips in there my man is underrated)

#fanfiction #ferngully the last rainforest #batty koda #incorrect quotes #zak #crysta #pips

[x-soapbox-x]

Sigh vent post. Tw transphobia

So I work for [unnamed] and we do screenings for law firms to see if people meet criteria for different class action lawsuits/victim compensation. And I’m in a meeting, and supervisor goes “oh I know this is a sensitive subject, but some of the clients we are getting on [recent case] identify with different genders then the ones in their file. We still need to know [relevant medical info] and they might not like that we have to ask them these questions” and then she proceeds to tell a story about a case she did where a ‘Gentleman’ wanted to go by a woman’s name, and in explaining her story was like he this, he that, you know. Which does grate on my nervous, like obviously that’s a woman right? And she basically ends like You Just Have to call them what They Want to be Called. So at the end of the meeting she asks for comments or questions and I jump in like “hey in regards to having clients with different gender identities, if anyone doesn’t know how to navigate that or the language to use, I’m a queer advocate in my area and I’m extremely comfortable with these kinds of situations so I will gladly speak with any transgender clients or answer any questions anyone may have.” Very non hostile, very helpful. And she just seemed taken aback like, oh we’re professionals so I think we are capable of talking with anyone. But then she was like maybe we will have you do a training for those situations or something but I don’t think she was serious. I just hate when anytime the topic comes up and I’m like. Hey if your unsure about this I can help :) I hate how it’s like suddenly I’m holding a lit dynamite the way the tension in the air goes. I accept and understand that cis people who never (knowingly) interact with trans people are ignorant and clueless, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing in all cases. I’m down to teach. I’m patient and good at explaining things if you’re down to listen. But I hate that people bristle. Like I get why, it’s a Political Topic. But like hello this is my nice ‘we are employed by a law firm’ face. Knowing that they’d run for the hills seeing me in my off days all trans rights punked out isn’t as satisfying as I’d like it to be. And I hate that the default in the meeting was “trans people are Other” like, no one who works here could possibly be queer. I hate that the assumption is that cis and straight are Normal and we are all Normal here. I hate that the default is unwelcoming. Like if only you guys knew the beauty and the art and the humor and the strength of queer people. But they’ll never see it and tbh they don’t deserve access to that. I’m just tired of everywhere I work it becoming an issue to the point that even this minor shit has my patience thin. My last job was really bad about it. And I think what gets me is that otherwise, these people are good people. And I think I hate that most- like a bigot is a bigot, but I hate that regular good people get infected by that bigotry, and it’s no less evil for being there bc it upholds the status quo (aka systems of oppression) But how the fuck do you hold onto the two world views and not split in half? I came to the political stances I hold bc as a kid I was compassionate and I saw pain and it led me from feminism to queer politics to class politics and now I’m just left as fuck bc I CARE about the other people I share the planet with. How can a person preach about respect when it’s…superficial at best? idk I’m glad I offered my knowledge if it means our trans clients won’t have to deal, but as a nb adjacent worker I’m like. Oh shit I beefed it, no one is gonna listen to me and now everyone knows im queer. I’m sure that won’t have any consequences.

#transphobia #trans #vent post #personal #am I even making sense idk I got lost in my head while writing #I just #ugh

[golbrocklovely]

I know you’re so tired of hearing about drama and negativity lol the fandom gets way too heated. Maybe I’m just an easy going person idk but at the end of the day the world is still gonna turn 🤷‍♀️ I think some people need to just take a breather and realize that we’re all human and we are all going to make some mistakes and questionable choices at times. It’s just not that deep.

that's the thing with all of this drama; all of this should just be fun. like this should be a fun time in the fandom.

for years, and i genuinely want to emphasize years, this fandom has a, wanted boyfriend!colby content and b, has wanted snc to take a break bc they work so hard. and for both of these things to somewhat occur at the same time and instead of being happy a loud minority are pissed at them is really fucking annoying.

bc genuinely outside of those ppl and that bs, i'm having fun in the fandom. i'm enjoying my time seeing snc with their gfs, or seeing whatever they do post. they have so much content from past years that i rewatch, i'm constantly doing some form of creative endeavor related to them. i'm not bored.

not only that, but snc just announced to us on xplrclub a lot of cool things that are coming down the pipeline. and instead of focusing on that, all the bitter bettys on twitter are focusing on snc saying "hey we see your comments and some of them are really mean, which is why we don't go on there anymore" and their response to being called out is to not take it well (which is essentially what they are saying snc are doing). i mean…. at what point do you take accountability for being assholes?

bc reality is, snc don't just cut ppl off in this fandom. they are extremely nice, to a fault, to most of the fandom. there are plenty of fans that should have been put on blast a long time ago by them, blocked by them, seen some form of repercussions and instead snc are nice to them, reply to them, fold to what they say.

but sometimes i just have to remember to sit back and realize that it really is a very small number of fans that feel this way. bc as much as some of them love to believe they speak for a majority of the fandom, they don't. think of it this way, say for argument's sake there is 10k ppl in this fandom that hate what snc are currently doing. and hey, that's a lot of ppl. i'm not saying that's a small number. however, there is 12 million ppl in this fandom (roughly, of course, since not every person subbed to them is in the fandom). do you know what percent of the fandom that would be? eight. 8%. that's not even double digit percentage of the fandom that feels that way !! and it sure as hell isn't a majority.

so sometimes, i think the best bet anyone that doesn't agree with that very loud minority can do is just take a step back and enjoy what is currently happening with snc. as i've said, this should be a fun time. we should be enjoying and kiki-ing about snc with their girls. we should be wondering who they are collabing with and where they're going next. maybe even talking about other fun topics. but instead, twitter is a hellscape, like usual. but i'm not gonna let them ruin my fun anymore. sorry. i'm not here for you guys, i'm here for snc. yall stay mad lol

and like you said, it really isn't that deep.

#ask #personal #snc bs

[malevolantkitcheen]

halloo!! halloo!! hhiiii!! helloooo xDDD !! HOW R U??? R U DOING OK?? Hopefully u are!!! >_< i apologize in advance if my writing is incoherent, i js got home from uni, im tired asl.. :P u can do sfw w a mix of nsfw ffirst of allll things since i heard ur doing matchups for jjk heres some stuf abt me :DDD im andre, ppl usually call me ray ray though im a guy.. (shocker) i like guys too (shocker) as for what i look like im 5'3 (i know), im somewhat chubby? idk how to describe it, its like ur normal but u have some squish and fat on u ykwim. one thing i like about myself is that ive got an hourglass figure :D I like my curves even if im a guy if that makes sense. im like a semi tan. i grew my hair out, neck length. layered, looks like a.. uh.. an overgrown wolf cut. my bangs look like twilight sparkle's lmao. anyways, i always liked wearing feminine things, sometimes i can be masculine, js sometimes. i put on makeup MOST OF THE TIMEEE. my wardrobe is filled with mini skirts and rhinestone belts and all that cool stuff. i like dressing up ok..

as for my personality im an infp. but to go deeper into it.. i like people, i js dk how to make friends, its so bad that i dont even have online friends.... butttt my 2 friends often describe me as a ray of sunshine :33 probably why they call me ray ray. i care a lot for my friends.. i rarely get mad.. i like everyone!!! js not my parents. i have daddy and mommy issues (shocker). i like yapping too, i talk a lotttt about my interests. IM A HUGE NERD WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT I LIKE. i can talk about it for hours and hours without my mouth feelin dry. i like music too. i listen to brutal death metal, and vocaloid >_< thats all really... hav a greatttt dayyyyyy!!!!!!

Good afternoon lovely, I hope you’re doing good! I’m doing okay :3 (also, great music taste 🙏)

For Jujutsu-Kaisen, I match you with….

Kento Nanami

- Nanami first noticed you at a passing glance, whilst you were sat having coffee with your friends. You were deep in conversation and were very visibly extremely interested in what you were talking about. He didn’t really recognise you so he just assumed that you had just moved into the city; he was pretty good at recognising and observing people. There was just something about you that intrigued him, something that drew him in. Of course he couldn’t just stray away from his routine due to him working but he planned on coming back the next day, in hopes that you would be there again. He was desperate even just to share a glance with you. Anything would suffice.

- The next morning on the way into the city, Nanami ensured that he passed that same coffee shop, and as hoped, there you were, once again conversing with your friends, the sun beaming down onto you. It highlighted every detail, every angle, every crease from your smile on your face. Nanami couldn’t help but stare, blushing as he did so. Only this time, you could feel someones eyes on you, causing you to turn to meet his eyes. You gave him a sweet smile, causing him to quickly turn away and carry on with his walk. You couldn’t help but think about this all day; who was he and why hadn’t you seen him before?

- This exchange continued to happen for the next couple of days until he finally mustered the courage to actually come and speak to you. You were in the queue, about to pay for you drink when you turned to see Nanami stood beside you: “We’ll also take a small black coffee with that”. Before you can even utter another word he had already paid. Of course you thanked him but you were a little set back by the whole situation as you weren’t expecting it. You weren’t complaining that you finally got to be around him, you just didn’t think that you would actually see the day.

- Nanami couldn’t help but glance from your eyes to your lips as the two of you spoke, his mind continuously wandering. You noticed it of course, never failing to fluster each and every time, just hoping that it would become more than just a glance, causing you to stutter every time you opened your mouth. “Something wrong hm?” , he says smiling to himself.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fanfic #jjk matchups #matchups #commission #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk nanami

[bdudette]

Caving Love - E. M.

MASTERLIST || STRANGER THINGS

Summary: In where she loves him but never said it. Maybe until his incoming death they will both confess ?

Character: Eddie Munson x F! Reader

Warning Tags: Fluffy but Angst ?!?! Curse words, Steve sucking at relationships but still giving advice ?, kinda cute ngl, Bad ending —maybe ??? , character death in the future ???, spoiler s4, detailed song fic. This is cringe overall cuz I’m still rusty —

A|N: I have nothing to say other than this was so long I had to cut it up lol. This is my first music related fic so idk how to do this — yeah. It was between Accidentally In Love and As The World Caves In — yall can see who won lol. Just used half of the song btw 👀

Part 1 Here ⇝ 2

My feet are aching.

And your back is pretty tired.

And we’ve drunk a couple bottles, babe.

And set our griefs aside.

Falling in Love. Falling in Love with someone was something people couldn’t avoid nor could they do anything about, especially when it came to changing with whom they fell for in the first place. Eddie Munson. Eddie was the one she had started liking since she was young as her younger self had gained a giant crush on him as the guy basically showed off his true self with little shame and full confidence. Both growing up to become high schoolers of different sociable places that didn’t allow them to interact as much as they would’ve liked.

So when all of a sudden, he was linked to a murder he didn’t cause and was soon roped into this upside down world, she was scared. Scared of this love that shouldn’t get in the way of this new mission to save the world. Scared of what could happen to Eddie Munson in this said cruel world of monsters similar to the board game the man played.

But who knew that Eddie also felt the same with these romantic feelings, he had since years back and just never mentioned it to her no matter how many times they’ve interacted before — which wasn’t extremely a lot but he still held a deep crush for her and he feared the rejection he was sure to come if he had ever confessed.

So when this opportunity came, he decided to shoot his shot. In this new world of death.

“ Hey, uh — [Y|N], right ? I mean — of course it’s [Y|N] what else would it be since we’ve already met a bunch of times before with group projects and all and well — I’m rambling — I’m uh — Eddie, “ Eddie smile awkwardly, biting the inward of his bottom lips as his face felt hot and his chest felt even hotter with embarrassment on how he was talking non stop to this beautiful person in front of him that he had a huge crush on since a long time.

It didn’t help that dustin was in the back looking at him with a ‘ wtf ? ‘ expression at how Eddie was interacting with [Y|N] as the group walked through the woods of Hawkins.

But the young woman didn’t mind this, deciding to smile at Eddie with a slightly nervous expression herself, “ Of course I know who you are, Eddie Munson, yeah ? I’ve uh - seen you play for the Corroded Coffin, in middle school, “ at this revelation, Eddie gaped at her, doe - dark eyes staring at her with awe and wonder as his own heart organ gave abnormal beats that he was sure were 100% related to a heart disease called love.

[Y|N] was fumbling a little with her words, nervous that Eddie would think weird of her to even remember his still existing group, so she just kept on taking, “ I - uh - I remember since I did write a letter to your group, I really loved watching you guys perform, you guys were the ones who kinda got me into hard core rock and metal music , so — yeah , that’s weird, I’m sorry, “ she gritted her teeth, keeping her lips closed as she tried not to speak anymore as to not embarrass herself but the only thing she really did was caused the school’s ‘ weird ‘ metal kid to fall even more in love than he already was from just watching her afar.

He stopped his steps for a moment — along with [Y|N] — whilst they spoke. Staring at the gorgeous girl in front of him.

He gave out a shaky sigh, moving one of his ringed fingers up to his lips and in between his teeth as he stared at her with so much adoration in his beautiful big eyes even though she couldn’t really see it since she was looking away in awkwardness, he hissed out air from his mouth before forcing his hand away from his face as he shook his hands in front of him and jumped a little on his spot , “ No , no , no — Jes — You’re good, fuck — “

His sudden outburst caused [Y|N] to look at Eddie in sudden fright and confusion, causing the young adult to back up a little before taking a step closer to her again, “ you’re more than good, you’re fantastic ! That was you !? You really inspired my band group to keep on playing ! You — you …. You seriously are amazing, [Y|N]. “

They were both flushed at this point , excited at the fact that they were talking to one another and yet oblivious to the fact that they had a thing for each other. And they kept on walking towards the moving group. Glancing at one another ever so often. Their interaction caused some of the people in the group to smile at how sweet they seemed yet most of them gagged and rolled their eyes at their obvious, cutesy shit that they didn’t have time for.

They both couldn’t help — really couldn’t — but want this moment to last longer. Far longer than what came after.

The papers say it’s doomsday.

The button has been pressed.

We’re gonna nuke each other up, boys.

‘Til old Satan stands impressed.

It wasn’t long before things started to get even worse for them. To Eddie’s own surprise — they started fighting bats. Freaking bats ! What the fuck did he get himself into !? Well — he didn’t actually get into this shit willingly that’s for sure — but damn ! And then they found out that they were stuck in 1983 ? At least they were able to contact the kiddos before anything and started heading to his trailer — but — DAMN !

He didn’t get the chance to interact with [Y|N] at all !! What the actual fuck !? He is blaming it on the girls for taking her attention with all the talking — or maybe he should really just blame himself since he was too nervous to go up to talk to her again and decided to stick himself on Steve’s side — who seemed to notice his disappointment and hesitation.

Steve glanced at Eddie when he heard the 50th sigh coming out of the metal guitarist. Eyebrow twitching a little bit from annoyance but thankfully he has grown patient from having taken care of the kiddos for a while now. Though — that patience quickly snapped when he heard the weirdo starting to sigh again, “ What’s the matter ? “ he spoke with a hint of annoyance in his voice, this being the second time they were speaking to one another after the previous one where Eddie encouraged his pinning towards Nancy Wheeler — basically.

“ What ? What ? Nothings the matter ? What do you mean ? Everything’s fine ? Nothings the matter with me, pft, what’s the matter with you -? “ Steve rolled his eyes at the rambling as he continued to walk next to Eddie, “ Spill it Munson, you basically broke the worlds record on a person sighing within 10 seconds. “

Eddie wondered for a moment — is a record like that even a thing ? — before shaking his head before stifling a sigh at the feeling of Steve glaring at him when he saw him almost open his mouth to do that again. “ Well — it’s [Y|N]. She’s what’s matter with me — and not even in a bad way ? She — I — I just don’t know ? Usually I’m good at talking with everyone and all but — “ he looked forward, heart stuttering at the sight of the said woman walking next to Nancy and robin with a determined expression.

“ Fuck — anytime I try to talk to her I keep embarrassing myself ! “ he whisper-yelled, looking back at Steve who only looked at him with a quirked brow. “ And I can’t help it — she’s just so fucking awesome and sweet and just so kind I — I wanna tell her I like her — basically love her — but — what if she doesn’t like me back ? “ Eddie groaned, moving his hands up to rub his face, trying to avoid rubbing his rings on his eyes.

“ I don’t even know why I’m talking about this to you when you don’t even have a solid relationship yet, no offense, “ he slumped while Steve looked at him with a gaped, offended expression as he laid a hand on his exposed hairy chest, “ a lot of offense taken ! “

Steve decided to push that aside and try to give some good advice in romance to the other boy. “ Look, Munson — what you have to do is just talk to her. You did that earlier and it went well ! Well — kind of ? It wasn’t bad — just a little awkward ? Besides ! She looks like she likes you too ! Trust me. “

Eddie looked at Steve with furrowed eyes. Looking back at [Y|N] before faltering in his intense staring when the said beautiful woman turned to glance at him and — and freaking waved at him too with that cute smile of hers — he gave out a shaky sigh this time.

Steve rolled his eyes at how helplessly in love Eddie looked, did he look at Nancy like that too ? Steve shook his head before patting at the metal lover slumped back, “ besides, how would you know she doesn’t like you if you never say anything ? Come on, we only have one life to live. “

Nodding before straightening up his back.

“ Yeah — You’re right. We only have one life. Gotta love it as hardcore metal as possible. Just like Death is. “

Steve looked confused and slightly concerned as he tilted his head towards Eddie as he didn’t even get the reference at all , “ What ? “

And here it is, our final night alive.

As the earth burns to the ground.

It wasn’t long before things got more complicated for everyone. Yet so intimate for the oblivious - and seeming - star crossed lovers.

Oh, boy, it’s you that I lie with.

As the atom bomb locks in.

Oh, boy, it’s you I watch tv with.

As the world, as the world caves in.

#eddie munson #show #eddie munson x reader #fanfic #stranger things

[butchmartyr]

Literally there are so many times trans men have been told to shut up because trans women have it worse.

Granted, a good chunk of those times it’s said by self hating trans men.

Look I’m not saying trans women should never get to speak, but like. Talking about the lateral aggression in queer communities that transmasculine people face is often called transmisogyny, when most of us don’t even mention trans women. You get me?

Idk maybe this makes no sense

second ask and full thoughts under readmore.

tl;dr: that sucks dude and it shouldnt happen but can we please talk about transmisogyny without making transfems do this song and dance about acknowledging trans men also feel transphobia every time we speak up? because ive said what im saying here several times and its starting to get really tiring that tme ppl arent listening lol. transmisogyny doesnt imply that other people have it better or anything, its just recognizing the unique and shitty ways that trans women get fucked over, you shouldnt see this in opposition to you! maybe read this post also

Idk how to explain where I’m coming from; sorry for two asks.

Again, I want trans women to be able to talk about their own problems. My problem is people — mainly people who aren’t trans women! — derailing any conversation about trans men’s oppression and making it about trans women.

For example, trying to change the discussion to be about what words people can use, claiming anyone who talks about trans men’s problems is a transmisogynist, etc.

And look, I think trans men can be transmisogynists, and should be called out. But I feel like… ugh idk how to word it. Like any trans guy who tries having a conversation about our own problems is going to be called a transmisogynist, even if the conversation has basically nothing to do with trans women.

for me, i can only speak from experience and ive seen very little of that happening, but ill trust you when you say that and say, yknow, that sucks, its bad and shouldnt happen? like. if this is about the post i think its about, my comment about that never happening was hyperbole to make a brief point before going back on topic, which is why i also said that if it does happen, then that sucks, because it does/would? like. im not your enemy, im not trying to silence trans men. ive lived my literal entire life constantly being socially silenced and ostracized, thats not what im doing. the focus on a throwaway comment is kind of irritating.

trans men should be able to talk about their unique issues and stigmas and thats a good thing that they should do, no transfem i know thinks otherwise. what ill also say is that what you're describing, talking about "lateral oppression in queer communities" often comes from a transmisogynistic place; my posts about transmisogyny should be about transmisogyny and, yknow, what im talking about, but theres at least a few trans dudes on each of those posts going on about how simply trying to talk with the language of transmisogyny is oppressing them. this is (trans)misogyny. its normal (even if it shouldnt be) for men to assume theyre being oppressed when they see women empowered, and thats whats happening here. like, literally just remove the word "trans" and youll see what i mean, this is an issue of gender and misogyny. you can talk about men's issues without pulling women down and acting like feminism is trying to push you down, yknow? i shouldnt only hear about this oppression and transphobia you face when i or other trans women are talking about transmisogyny, and yet it always seems to crop up in that way or else decry transmisogyny as a concept in other ways. like, the derailing thing you're describing literally has happened on all of my bigger posts about transmisogyny, and other big ones by other ppl as well! its extremely plain to see.

trans men should talk about the transphobia they face and they should be able to do this without getting blasted with oppression olympics but you should also recognize a lot of this transandrophobia rhetoric comes from a transmisogynistic place, especially because its often used and brought up in opposition to a trans woman talking about the extremely common intracommunity issue of tme people leveraging transmisogyny against trans women by leaning back on bioessentialism, clinging to cagab-based identities, and views of us being inherently "male" on some level or another. we are not your enemies, and you are not ontologically incapable of violence

#if this isnt clear you're welcome to dm me #im not a dick or mad at you #just frustrated at the larger tumblr ecosystem and how nobody cares lol #asks #anonymous #transmisogyny

[pinkrifle]

teen! freddy krueger hc’s because I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. someone talk ab him w me PPPLEAS!!

he has orange hair and pronounce. i also feel like any pronouns for him but i feel like he prefers it/its because he’s just, like that,,

agender or demigender??!!! i think he just doesn’t care about gender at all so it’s just nothing for him

he is a SLEEPY MAN, nap man, tired man,,, ver tired

continuing to the one above i feel like he has little mini eye bags from underwood keeping him up all the time

he stims. he stims. he stims he stims which underwood doesn’t “believe in”, but he would never admit to stimming and shit so underwood doesn’t even know

speaking of that he probably stims by like kicking his legs or just like patting/lightly hitting his arms and knees, or just like a hand flappy but not too hard ,,, i love him

he is pan 100% he just wants someone to love him and he’ll love them back no matter what, he’s never rlly been the guy ppl like really so he just wants to get what he can get!!

he plays that one finger knife game where u put the knife through the gaps between ur fingers, and that being said he has a lot of scar’s from that game

he’s a kitty boy. like a cat man he loves cats a lot because idk he just does ok

he has SUCH a baby face even tho he’s all big and bad, he’s just like that n he’s adorbs.

he would probably rock a skirt but he would be picky about which one he would wear,, i say he would score a japanese sailor uniform skirt but way longer

after he killed mr underwood he started working and lived in the house until he got his job at the boiler room thing or until the house just was utter garbage for him to stay any longer, so i’d say he was homeless for a hot minute

i feel like he’s also extremely hypersexual because he feels as if nobody loves him, he has to exploit himself / come off extremely flirty for someone to love him and to love someone,, no i’m not projecting onto my fave shush

he has a lil teddy bear that he bought with stolen money (from underwood, freddy still doesn’t know how he got away with it) and secretly sleeps with it,,

he has little bursts of energy sometimes and just wishes he was a kid (a one with a normal childhood, at least) and ppl catch him all giggly n stuff at school or in public but he tries to keep it on the DL

whenever he’s at a place for too long he gets rlly cranky like “mmjjmmkmmm home.. :((((“ even if he has to stay w underwood bcz he probably gets rlly worried thinking that he won’t have a home again

MUAHAHA h.i

#freddy krueger #freddy krueger headcanons #freddy krueger hc’s #hcs #hc’s #headcanons #slasher headcanons #teen!freddy krueger #teen!freddy

[justwritedreams]

Stay with me | Oh Sehun x reader, soldier!au

Word count: 3107 Genre: fluff, a little drama and comedy Author: maari Warnings: mentions of injury, blood and surgery. Note: i have this idea since 2017 and couldn’t finish, it should be longer than that. Idk if i should do a part 2. What you guys tinhk? Summary: You're a nurse like any other when you meet Captain Oh Sehun from the korean navy

Next >>

“Hey Y/N.” I turn to face whoever it was who had called me and regretted it when I did. “Uh, hi Brian…” I threw the coffee cup in the trash, I couldn't even have a coffee in that hospital lately. "How are you? I haven't seen you in a long time.” he smile at me in a flirtatious way but it didn't do much good. I found it a little too forced. "You saw me yesterday." I tried to sound not that rude. "Oh I know but it's so hard to see you out of your shift." That was exactly the intention. "You know you don't have to work that hard, Y/N." “I know but I love what I do, Dr., you should know better.” I glance around the lobby, hoping any patients would arrive soon so I could get out of there. Dr. Brian had been trying to ask me out for weeks since he got here and each time I politely declined. According to some nurses, he do that with every woman in the hospital and the roulette stopped in my turn, unfortunately. To be honest, I was tired of it all, sometimes I wish him to go straight so I could refuse right away. “I already told you to not to call me Dr., by the way this weekend…” his voice trailed off as a gurney arrived at the ER, catching my attention, and I turn away from Brian as soon as I hear the word surgery. I ran to the patient, looking quickly at the paramedics who were bringing him. “What state?” I ask quickly. “A shot in the left rib, he fell into the sea on impact.” one of them answer and I look at the patient as we carry the stretcher through the hospital. The first thing I notice was his military uniform, he was from the navy, his face was wet and swollen in places, but that didn't stop me from noticing how handsome he was. His face was well designed and striking, I was surprise by that, I had already seen several soldiers, mainly from the navy since the hospital was close to where they usually did their activities, but none of them ever had a face so… perfect. I quickly reach for his chest and ripped his shirt, being able to see the damage the bullet had done to his rib. “Rosa, we need Dr. Kang. The bullet is lodged in the rib.” I yell as we walk down the hall to the operating room. "I'm here, Y/N." The Dr. approach and quickly assess the patient. “He lost a lot of blood, Dr.” “His lips are turning colorless, he must have drowned. Let's go to the operating room.” “Sir, this area is forbidden!” I hear one of the nurses speak loudly and look back. A soldier who came with the patient trying to get into the restricted area. I let Dr. take the patient and went to him. “It's okay, I'll take over from here. “I told the nurse and went back to facing the tall man. “Sir, this area is reserved.” I try to push him by the chest but he was strong. "It's my best friend, I have to be there!" I understood the tone of despair and I sympathized. “I will stand by his side until the end as if I were you, all right?” He nod and let me close the door, I took a deep breath before running to the operating room. The night had just begun. (...)

The surgery had been very long, we had to do a blood transfusion as he lost a lot, other than that we didn't have any extreme complications. As promised, I stayed on the patient's side the whole time, when everything was under control and the Dr. no longer needed my help, I was holding his hand. It had been involuntary and it was completely weird, but I was in agony, I knew the risk he was taking, even more because of the amount of blood he lost and also because of the bullet. It hadn't done much damage, but it was very difficult to remove and required great care. I hoped he would save himself, such a young guy dying doing his job was too painful. I asked to take care of his recovery and the Dr. agreed. For some unknown reason, I felt in my chest that I owed it. Not because I was a nurse and promised his friend, but because I'd be in agony if I didn't hear from him. The patient spent a few hours in the ICU, just to make sure his health was stable after the surgery. In the meantime, I went to warn his tall friend, who look like he have ants in the hospital chair, as soon as he saw me walking towards him, he got up. Another guy, also in navy uniform, did the same, probably another friend. “How did he…?” “Keep calm, he's stable. He lost some blood and we had a transfusion but the surgery went well. Soon he will go to his room.” the two sigh in relief and look at each other, both looking exhaust. “Thank you so much, Dr.” the taller one approach and shook my hand, swaying quickly. "I'm just the nurse, sir." I smile. "Sorry, the doctor had another emergency surgery, she don't have time to come talk to you." “You stayed with him like you promised, didn't you?” he ask and I nod. “I'm Chanyeol, by the way, this is Kai. We’re friends with Sehun.” I was so worried about the patient that I didn't even remember to get his file, I still don't know anything about him. “Nice to meet you, gentlemen.” I was still unsure what to call them. "Chanyeol still talks like we're 18-year-olds, even though we have titles in the navy." Kai say. "I still haven't gotten used to being called a soldier outside the base." Chanyeol defend himself and I hold back a laugh. They look like children. "I just don't want to offend either of you." "Oh don't worry, we don't really care about that." Kai shrugg. “Actually, we even like to be called by name.” Chanyeol smirk. “Well, Chanyeol and Kai, I can imagine how tired you are, so I will advise you to go home and come back later.” the two look at each other for a minute, I knew they had considered that option. “We appreciate the concern but we will stay, he would do the same for us.” Kai spoke at last. "I'll let you know when he wakes up, but now I have to go." I say after watching someone else get on a stretcher. "What is your name?" Chanyeol ask quickly as I start to walk away. “Y/N.” “Thanks, Y/N.” they smile at me and for the first time in a while, that warmed my heart. They were being sincere and no money in the world could pay that. Sehun was lucky to have loyal friends like that, I hope he knew that. And if he was as kind as the two of them, my job would be so much easier. I found myself wondering what his voice was like, if his eyes were so warm and sincere. I shook my head, pushing away all the nagging thoughts, I couldn't be dreaming about a patient right now, no matter what I felt in that operating room, it had to be a professional. It was just what I needed now, to have a crush with a simple patient. (...) I start reading Sehun's file as I walk to his room, he had already left ICU, leaving his friends unconcerned. I got caught by surprise, I mean 30 years with that face? And Captain of the Navy? How was that possible, a rank like that meant something to someone at that age, I thought. He was still sleeping when I enter, which was really nice considering I couldn't stop staring at him. The information on his file was shocking, I tried to find it all in his face but he looked so serene it was hard to see it. He was a Captain! I approach so I could clean and re-bandage his rib, seeing the small stitches on his skin made me have a strange feeling in my heart but I ignore it and did my job. Still shocked by his file, I look back at his face again and try to imagine him as captain. Seeing him in a uniform wasn't all that shocking, but to think that his position was so higher and full of responsibility was hard to understand. It was then that I notice some scars and marks, he had a very small one on his face and I even found it charming, on his chest there was a long but low scar near his heart and soon he would have the rib on the same side, already on his arm there were a few, one on his bicep and one just above his wrist. I hadn't notice that my hand was following my gaze, I only notice when Sehun's hand held my wrist, stopping me from caressing his skin. I try to get away but I couldn't, he was very strong. "It tickles." he smile with his eyes still closed, I keep silent, maybe he thought it was a dream and went back to sleep. Sehun open his eyes and stare at the ceiling for a while, until he look back at me. I felt a shiver down my spine at the exchange of eyes that seemed to last forever, and yet it didn't seem to be enough. "I died?" he ask after a long time, still staring at me. “W-what?” “I must have died, this looks like heaven. You're definitely an angel.” he spoke and I felt my cheeks burn. Okay, he must have been delirious from the meds. “Um, you're fine and in the hospital. I'm just your... nurse. Do you remember anything?” I ask and look at his hand that was still holding me, he did the same and when he notice, he let go. I wished he hadn't. "Sorry, that's force of habit." he point at my fist. “I remember breaking into the ship, fighting some masked guys, getting shot and then I fell into the water.” I shook my head as he spoke. "And my head hurts like hell." "Probably because of the impact with the water... I'll call your friends, they're out there very worried." I point to the door and walk towards it. "Oh, you really need to do this because I have to go to the bathroom." I got the message and even if it was part of my job, I just couldn't help him with that part. (...) Sehun had been in the hospital for just over 5 days, his recovery was going well and faster than usual, he was a soldier after all. Being a captain, he was very funny, he made fun of me every time I needed to change his bandage, but he was also very stubborn. Because of his condition, it was recommended to rest as much as he could so that the stitches wouldn’t open. However, Sehun didn't agree with the medical report, he thought that just because the bullet was out of his body, he was already great to go back to base. Well, all this generated a great deal of confusion, involving calls from admirals and higher positions. But that didn't stop him from standing beside the bed in the bedroom when I arrived. “Captain, how many times should I say you need to stay in bed?” I hurry to get to him and stop him from continuing. "Relax doll, I just needed to stretch my legs." I put my hand on his back and he put his arm around my shoulders, I try to ignore the nickname he had given me. “Already stretched, now go back to bed.” “On second thought, I really wanted to go to the coffee shop. Kai can't stop talking about how wonderful the coffee is.” I lift my face to face him and he smile like a child. "You have a healthy diet for your recovery Captain, I don't think coffee is included." "Oh please Y/N, I'll be back and forth quickly." he try not to lean on me anymore but ended up tripping over his own feet. “Sehun!” I say loudly and hurry to catch him before he fell. The act made his body lean on the bed, I end up losing my balance and had to lean on something. And that was his chest. With him propped up on the bed, his height got closer to mine, making our faces get too close together. It was like his eyes hypnotized me, I just couldn't pull away and look anywhere else but his eyes. They were intense, captivating and irresistible. And that was very dangerous. Sehun's eyes scan my entire face until they stop at my lips, where he linger long enough for me to understand what was about to happen. Seconds dragged slowly through eternity and it was only interrupted when a screeching sound began to play, I shook my head and turn away to face whatever it was. I notice then that it was Sehun's heartbeat, he was still being monitored by hospital rules and it was way too fast. “Uh… I need to change your bandage.” I speak softly as scratch the back of my head without having the courage to look into his eyes. It wouldn't be an easy task after that moment, as I would have to face his bare chest. "That's funny." He say after a long time, while I was still working on his wound, if he stay quiet could probably get the stitches out tomorrow. "What is funny?" "You’re embarrased of me." he laugh. “Yah what are you talking about? I’m not ashamed.” I reply too quickly. “Do you find me that attractive?” I look at his face and raise his eyebrows as he smirk. "Ouch!" he complain and I pull my hands away. I hadn't even done anything. "That hurts." he pout and I roll my eyes. “Are all soldiers like that?” "Like that?" I finish and walk away. “Cry babies when it comes to the hospital.” I took out all the things I had gotten out of the way, including my gloves, and arranged the sheet on him. “Who are you calling a cry baby? I fight valiantly every day on a ship to save civilians from threats and not…” Sehun try to point his finger at me but all he manage to do was knock him on the bed. “Oh, oh, oh.” he hold his finger and in a very dramatic way began to mumble. "I think that answers your question." I laugh. "It's not fair, you didn't answer mine." I look at him and wait for him to continue. "Do you find me attractive?" "I'll bring your dinner, Captain." I leave the room before my expressions respond, not before I can hear him laugh and then complain. I didn't want it to be so obvious or else it would be pretty hard to work with him every day while he had that advantage over me. After I had taken the tray with Sehun's diet and walk back to the room, seeing Kai and Chanyeol outside, both of them with their arms folded. “Why are you out here? Sehun has been awake for hours.” I say as I approached and could see the frightened expressions of the two. "What happened? Have you seen a ghost?” “Our boss is inside.” Chanyeol reply, visibly terrify. “Your boss?” “The Fleet Admiral.” I had to grip the tray tighter after Kai speak. All right, I didn't know the entire hierarchy of the Navy but I knew that the Admiral was the highest position and that if he was there it was because something had happened. I took a deep breath before asking one of them to open the door for me, they both look at me shock but I need to do my job, knowing that none of them would follow me I walk in slowly, receiving several looks as soon as the door was closed. "Um, it's dinner time." I announce and pass the Admiral's side, now I understood why Chanyeol was terrified, that man was scary. Two soldiers accompanied the Admiral. I pull the base that was on the bed so I could put the tray on top. "Well, that's all, Captain." the Admiral say and I was more afraid of his voice, it was cold and hard. "Yes sir." Sehun reply and I adjust the pillows so that it would be better to eat. "Nurse?" the Admiral call me and I look quickly. "Yes?" “When will he be discharged?” “Due to the fast recovery, tomorrow he will take the stitches out and he can go” I reply and he just shook his head. "Kim and Park will see to it that you return to base." "Yes sir." Sehun nod and salute before the Admiral left along with the soldiers. “Oh, my heart is beating too fast.” he sigh and I look at him worriedly. "Need something?" “A hug would be nice.” he smile and I roll my eyes. “Eat.” I order and he grumble, but did what I say. “Did something happen for the Admiral to come here?” I ask after a long time of silence. I’m a nurse but was still curious. For the first time, he was silent and avoid looking at me. “Okay, I understand that it's confidential, I've dealt with soldiers before, you know? But if you can't talk, it's okay..." "Go out with me." he interrupt me and I felt my jaw drop. "What?" "Let's go on a date." His expression was too serious and I began to doubt that this was a joke. "Your medicine must be working..." I laugh softly but he remain serious. "Oh, are you serious?" he nod and my legs start to shake. "Unless you have a boyfriend, which would be a shame since I haven't laid eyes on you sooner." Sehun keep his expression serious but his tone was joking. “If I accept, will you stop flirting with me?” not that I thought it was bad, quite the opposite, I was just embarrassed. "Only when I conquer you." assure and I roll my eyes, he was already getting it anyway. “Tell me the day and time.”

#exowritersnet #oh sehun #sehun scenario #sehun imagine #sehun fluff #sehun x reader #exo scenarios #exo imagine #exo fluff #exo sehun #maari #soldier!au

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #david rossi #jennifer jareau #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai

#inhuman/dark fantasy narnia #the chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #aslan #digory kirke #eustace scrubb #caspian x #narnia headcanons #rambles of a hyperfixating kai

[slightlymore]

fragment

part of the ‘almost’ collaboration hosted by @hyucksie

final part of the 'soulmates collection' 

doyoung x fem reader | 10k

genre: greek mythology retelling (selene and endymion), abstract historical setting, astrology, astronomy, magic/fantasy, romance, !angst!, smut, fluffy notes 

warnings: swearing, alcohol, explicit sexual content +18 (no hardcore raunchy stuff because it didn’t fit the vibe but highly erotic scenes), bad ending, major character sad situation (not death but similar, idk how to explain without spoiling lol), overall mature themes 

other characters: ten as doyoung’s brother, kun only mentioned 

playlist:  - Moon | Jonghyun - Sun&Moon | NCT 127  - Mystery lover | Taemin  - End to start | NCT 127 

__________ A sigh. 

It was a little and delicate sound, almost inaudible. But Doyoung could hear it so well. 

It was the only thing his mind could focus on besides the soft feeling under his fingers. 

He exhaled too but he couldn’t make sense of his own voice and he didn’t want to when there was this other one he so dearly wanted to hear instead. 

He wanted it to become louder and louder. He wanted to bathe in the smoothness of that voice forever. 

“I just think you need to get laid, that’s all,” Ten smirked before his tongue could make an appearance through his plush lips. It licked one of the grapes he was holding to his mouth and chuckled at Doyoung’s disgusted expression. 

“You’re always on that bullshit. I don’t even know why I keep telling you stuff.” The man commented. 

Ten, previously lying down on the single wooden bench inside the observatory, sat up with a roll of the eyes. His fluffy hair bounced around his forehead at his movements and his smile was wicked.

“If you keep having wet dreams, it means that you’re in need for some, so you should go and get it, brother.” 

Doyoung sighed and placed his papers down, unable to understand what he was trying to do with moving them around in the first place. 

“The thing is-,”

“Yeah I know,” Ten interrupted him, “you only have sexy dreams in the observatory like a freak. Kun said it’s because you’re exhausted and your mind is more prone to let your deepest desires-”

“Wait. You told Kun about my dreams?” 

If Ten got jumpy because of Doyoung's sudden loud voice, he concealed it well. 

“We talk about unconsciousness all the time,” the boy explained relaxedly. “I think you should come too sometimes. You can let out some of your, uhm, frustration,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he took a few steps separating himself from Doyoung’s desk. 

Doyoung shrugged to make Ten take off the hand from his shoulder. “I am a scientist, not a philosopher or whatever you guys like to call yourselves.” 

“Well I am sorry that scientists don’t fuck and we do.” 

Ten ran out of the observatory with a giggle before he could be hit in the head by Doyoung’s telescope. 

______

Doyoung has always imagined meeting his soulmate in a very romantic environment. 

He was not an extremely romantic person, but since it was still a soulmate talk, he imagined at least a few shy smiles and a kiss on the hand, not a scream and his cock in his fist instead.

He was the first to scream as he turned around at the sound of rustling leaves.

You screamed too but only because he screamed so loudly in the silence of the night that the dormant birds flew away from the trees. 

Then you yelped again when your eyes fell to the man’s crotch.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” you hid your face with your palms and it felt boiling under your fingertips. 

The young man felt paralyzed and his first thought was that he wouldn’t have been able to touch himself anymore because of the shame. 

He breathed out once after finally putting away everything that had no business to be seen and cleared his throat. 

You had turned around in the process and Doyoung looked at your back for a moment before finally speaking. 

“Hey. Why are you wandering at night like this?” 

“Uh-” you put away your hands but didn’t dare to face him. “I couldn’t sleep and decided to come out for a bath,” you explained. “My lord,” you quickly added. 

“How did you get here? This property is owned by my astrology professor.” 

“That would be my father, sir. I live-” you lifted one arm and indicated the tower behind the garden, “-there.” 

Doyoung followed your finger with his eyes then took in your figure yet again. 

“You can turn around. I have no intention of hurting you.” 

You did as he told you and you were pleasantly surprised to see him as flustered as you were. “I’m sorry I startled you, sir.” 

The young man shook his head. “I have to apologize. It was highly inappropriate of me to do that in public.” 

“Well, no one was here to see, sir.” 

“You were here. And don’t call me sir, just call me Doyoung.” 

You smiled timidly and took a few steps towards the lake, nodding. “Then it’s nice to finally meet you Doyoung.” 

The man opened his lips for a second but you spoke on top of him. 

“Oh, my father speaks so highly of you every day,” you dipped one foot inside the calm water and Doyoung noticed for the first time what you had no shoes on. “He laughs at you for wanting to call yourself an astronomer instead of an astrologer but he also praises you a lot. My dad is an open-minded man. Sometimes I feel like he loves you more than he loves me.” 

Doyoung stared at your ankles then calves as you gently moved your toes inside the water. 

Your tone was light and nonchalant but he could sense the light layer of bitterness on it. 

“I’m sure that’s not the case.” 

You tilted your head to the side at his words and smiled again, the white and thin nightgown you were wearing almost touching the water too. Then you gathered the material around your waist and taking it off, you threw it on the shore near Doyoung’s feet. 

He gasped. 

“What are you doing?” he asked with a trembling voice, shocked to see your suddenly naked back getting swallowed by the shining darkness of the lake. 

“I told you, I came here for a bath,” you chirped back as if it was an appropriate answer. 

Turning around towards him you noticed that he caught a glimpse of your chest before he looked away in the distance. 

His adam apple travelled up and down distressed and even in the darkness you could see his neck and face redden up. 

You smiled again and crouched down, letting the water get to your chin and hide your curves from his eyes. 

“What would my father say if he knew I’m here naked in front of you now?” 

“Hm, he would probably kill me,” he replied sincerely. 

You let out a bright laugh. “Don’t worry. He won’t do it. If he doesn’t know.” 

He closed his mouth and you noticed the little smile trying to bloom on his lips as you exchanged a longer look than intended. 

Then he looked away and cleared his throat. 

“Then I’ll leave for now and I’ll come back when you’re done bathing,” he suddenly got up and patted his ass trying to clean his slacks of any dirt. 

“Aren’t you here to stare at the moon?” your voice stopped him from walking away. 

You were looking at him, gently swimming backwards. “Stay. I won’t bother you.” 

Doyoung sighed and after a moment of uncertainty, he moved back slowly and sat down again. 

You closed your eyes, letting the water lull you slowly. 

For the first time in weeks, the young man didn’t look at the moon once. 

__________

“What are the results for tonight?” you leaned in to read Doyoung’s notes, your gown collecting the drops of water falling on your body and making it difficult for the man to look away. 

You started to come out every night, the sound of your footsteps arriving to Doyoung’s senses first then your scent.

The results for that night were that Doyoung absolutely loved breasts and that he absolutely needed to touch himself or he might go insane. 

“The moon got smaller as predicted and it had the same course on the sky as usual.” 

You chuckled. 

“Well, of course. What would Selene do otherwise? Wander around?” 

Doyoung bit his lower lip as he would do when listening to your father teach him about astrology and deities. It was obvious that you would have his beliefs about the moon too.

“Well, she could, couldn’t she? Since she’s a goddess,” he played along. 

You sat near him and patted your neck with one end of your gown fabric. “She can technically walk away. But only to places where her presence is needed. And she goes away once every cycle to sleep.” 

Doyoung put away his papers and leaned back on his elbows, suddenly very amused. 

“Selene needs to sleep?” 

You noticed the almost mocking tone in his voice and smiled. “Of course she does. She obviously sleeps during the day just like Helios sleeps during the night but she also needs a full recharge once every cycle.” 

“You know a lot about her. Do you also know why she shrinks every night? Is that to show that she’s getting tired?” 

You chuckled at his theory but nodded. “Exactly. And after sleeping she grows bigger and bigger.” 

Doyoung hummed pensively and his eyes fell on your spine. “Wouldn’t it make sense if she came back full after recharging? Instead, she comes back small. The process makes no sense.” 

He raised his eyes to meet your gaze and you noticed the way his fingers twitched as if he forced himself to still his hand and not touch your skin. 

“There are so many things that make no sense,” you whispered.  

The man tilted his head to the side at your words and you let yourself down on your back, your eyes drinking in the stars above you. 

“Like what?” 

“Love?” 

Doyoung imitated your position and you had to prevent yourself from jolting when his shoulder touched yours. 

“Do you believe in love, astronomer?” you turned your head to see his face. 

“I don’t know. I have to see and touch things to believe in them.” 

“So you need to see and touch Selene to believe in her?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And would you believe it if she suddenly appeared and told you that it was her?” 

Doyoung turned his head to look at you as well and his gaze made your guts twist on themselves. He was so close that you both kept on whispering. 

“She should prove it somehow.” 

“What would you want her to do?” 

“Something goddess-like?” 

“What would that be?” you turned on your stomach interested and lifted your bust on your elbows. Doyoung’s eyes wandered on your chest for a little moment and it made you burn. 

“I don’t know. She’s the goddess. She should know. What can Selene do?” 

“Make people fall in love with her until they descend into madness."

Doyoung hummed with a smile. 

“Human girls can do that too. How is that special?” 

“So you do believe in love," you smiled teasingly, one finger to poke his bicep. 

“Well, it never happened to me, but if so many people talk about it, I guess it could be true.”

“A lot of people talk about Selene and yet, you don’t believe in her.”  

His eyes were barely visible in the night but the little lights in them were dancing just like the stars around the Moon. 

You opened your lips and breathed out.

Then he got up and collected his stuff before you could slip and ask him to just touch you right there under the black sky until he believed in you. 

__________

The first time you saw him you didn't think much of it. 

Another night, another person longing for something while looking up at the moon. 

You let yourself down to watch him better and you smiled surprised upon seeing his features. Apollo would wither away with shame in comparison so you chuckled excitedly. 

Finally. What a nice match. 

What a nice subject to driving into insanity for you. 

So you kept staring at his dark eyes, illuminated by your light, then at the curve of his forehead, his jaw, his neck. You imagined it strained as he begged for your love and you chuckled again. 

"Sleep," you whispered to him, eager to enter his dreams just like you did with so many people before him. 

But he didn't move and his eyes remained wide and awake. 

You tilted your head to the side, studying him well. 

"I said, Sleep," your voice travelled inside his head again but it got blocked by such a thick wall to make you almost fall backwards. 

You scoffed, one foot stomping on the ground and your arms crossed on the chest. 

He was not thinking about you?

He was staring at the moon, yes, but he wasn't staring at you?

_________

It was not until he fell asleep in his observatory that you managed to get closer. 

Night after night you were staring at each other without him realizing and night after night his head was completely closed off. Drifting away in the morning, angry and tired, your only thoughts were made of plans around how to enter that man's dreams.

You were feeling weak, so little time until Helios would push you to the side with his light. But your pride was hurt and you were desperate to get into his head. 

It was so easy this one time. Completely at your mercy. So easy that you basically tripped forward not expecting it. 

His mind was like soft butter and you giggled triumphant, stepping around his dreams. 

Finally. 

It was completely silent inside of him and you inhaled deeply. 

What a nice head, you thought. So calm and peaceful. No chaos and no darkness. 

You opened your eyes and focused around his imagination. 

It was a deep refreshing forest with a faraway waterfall. The sound of it accompanying the sound of your nude feet on the grass. 

Then you saw him. 

The man was lying down on a patch of soft moss, eyes closed and relaxed features. Like some sort of spirit. Like a god. 

You walked to him silently and touched his knee. His eyes slowly opened at the sensation and his lips got brushed by a sigh. You leaned down on top of him, catching it with your lips, sighing into him as well. 

Finally, you smiled, as his hands pressed into your soft flesh. 

But before he could touch your bare skin, you were already drifting away to sleep yourself and the dusk vaporized you from his arms. 

So you tried again. 

And again. 

Always near the time, you'd touch gowns with Helios as you passed the baton. Always touching the mortal man just for a second in his mind and his dreams.

Until you became obsessed.

His hands on your stomach and sliding lightly on your bust. You holding onto his wrist with both your hands and delicately kissing his thumb before gently starting to suck on it. His muscles contracting at the sight and you feeling him harden underneath you. His lips slightly parted as if breathing for him was suddenly harder and his gaze was dark and lustful. Jerking up with no warming and, pressing you hard against himself, kissing you hungrily. Wet, messy, and rough. His fingers digging into your thighs and yours into his shoulders. His skin rubbing against your and you desperately wanting more.

Until you got too impatient. 

__________

“It’s called a telescope. It’s a machine that makes things appear closer. I want to see every detail of the moon and I’ll soon be able to.” 

Doyoung was scribbling away into his papers and you shifted your head from resting on your knees to resting it on your hand instead. 

“Can I see it?” 

He didn’t reply for a few moments, eyebrows furrowed and clenched jaw, so you thought he didn’t hear you. 

“It’s not done yet,” he then mumbled right when you opened the mouth to speak again. 

“Well-” you started but he suddenly got up and extended his hand to you. 

You looked at his delicate palm and fought the urge to kiss his fingertips. 

You lifted your hand to touch it. It was soft and warm as you held it. And you hoped he wouldn’t let yours go after helping you up. 

Unfortunately, he did and started to walk up the little hill towards the tower by himself. 

You smiled a little and followed him after gathering your gown in your fists, eyes on his back instead of paying attention where you should put your feet instead.

“So tell me. Why do you like the moon so much?” 

Humans were so used to walking around that it was nothing for him to arrive at the top of the hill in a few steps. You haven’t been walking as much as you did while with Doyoung in aeons so you had to rest, palms on your knees and panting hard as he spoke. 

“It’s fascinating, don’t you think?” 

“Well,” you shrugged, “she’s a goddess.” You replied, the sweat on your forehead and messy hair very ungoddess-like. 

Doyoung looked at his side, staring at your lips as they moved then looked away at the tower in front of him. His visible cheek trembled a little under the moonlight and you smiled. 

“So you still don’t believe the moon is a goddess. My job here is useless.” 

He sighed at your affirmation. “I just- I’m sure there’s more to that. The moon is made of soil just like the earth. I think it’s a piece of earth that didn’t manage to merge with us.” 

He started to walk away as you caught up with his pace. 

“Merge with us? Like when the earth was made someone just left a piece of it out for no reason?” 

The boy looked at you after arriving at the wooden door and resting one hand on it. “You think I’m insane, right? No one believes me.” 

You imitated his expression and lightly hit his shoulder with yours. “I don’t think you’re insane. Your mind is just fascinating like the moon herself.” 

“You think there’s a possibility that the goddess is mad at me for not believing in her existence? Maybe this is why I’m not making any progress with my studies,” Doyoung mumbled to himself amused as unlocked the tower. 

You stared at his profile for a while. The silence made it possible for the soft breeze on the lake water to be heard as well as the young man’s yearning sigh. 

“I think she’s flattered. You’re like a challenge.” 

Doyoung turned his head around to face you again and his dark eyes under the strands of black hair were hypnotizing as he made a few steps backwards into the round room. 

“Flattered by me? There are so many people staring at her.” 

You tightened the hold on your gown as you followed him into the darkness of the observatory. 

“Not like you. I watched you from my own tower and you’ve been here every night for so many cycles.” 

“I am flattered that you’ve been watching me,” Doyoung lowered his voice.  

You smiled again and felt a lump grow in your throat under his gaze, forcing you to swallow before talking again. 

“Also, you don’t just mindlessly admire her. You want to understand. And that’s fresh.” 

You looked up at the high ceiling and admired the weird wooden construction. It was a little dusty but cosy.

Doyoung let one corner of his lips rise. “So the moon is bored with all the suitors and finds me amusing. Will she kill me after playing with me like this or you think she will grant me forgiveness?” 

You looked down again and stared at each other until Doyoung’s eyes widened a little upon seeing your troubled expression. 

“Hey, it was a joke,” he touched your arm delicately. “The moon is not going to kill me.” 

You gulped and lowered your gaze upon feeling his touch. 

“No, she can’t. But what if she has to put you to sleep?” you asked with a feeble voice. 

His pupils shook quickly as if he was waiting for you to finally laugh out loud at the joke. 

But you didn’t. 

“Why would Selene do that?” 

You walked away from him, hands behind your back, neck strained as you looked up at the structure. 

“Have you ever heard of Selene being in love?” 

“I haven’t heard much of her at all, to be honest.” 

He leaned his hips on the desk and crossed his arms on the chest. 

“What have you been doing during my father’s lessons?” you suddenly turned your head towards him and he finally could see a hit of amusement on your features. 

“Hm,” he considered. “Thinking about the moon but not like that.” 

You rolled your eyes and touched the telescope in front of you with one finger. It was sturdy and cold. Then you started to walk around the room, the fingertip gently caressing everything you could touch. 

“Selene is cruel. She makes people fall in love with her. With no promises. Just for fun. And when they all learn that she can’t possibly love them back, they all leave.”  

“Why?” 

You stopped near a wall adorned with a simple mirror. The reflection was something you didn’t want to look at so you placed your gaze on Doyoung. He exchanged the look. 

“It’s her fate.” 

“Her fate to be cruel?” 

“Her fate to be alone.” You started to walk again. 

His clothes neatly hanging near his bed smelled like incense and they were soft under your finger. 

“That sounds like someone that wants to protect themselves,” he considered. 

You didn’t reply for a moment so Doyoung kept talking. 

“Selene sounds like a sad individual. She keeps making people fall in love with her but no one is trying to make her fall in love with them. And then they run away like cowards.”

You chuckled a little. “You think? But that’s Fate. If you fall in love with Selene, you either run away or lose your life.” 

“And how many people lost their life?” 

You hummed. “No one really.”

“If you love someone truly, no Fate is going to make you tremble in your slacks like a little boy.” 

You chuckled again. 

Your room tour was almost over as you walked over him, your finger gently touching the table until reaching his thigh. 

He looked down at your hand and followed it’s movements as you drew a line up on it until getting to his hip, then on his wrist and forearm. 

His skin shivered in goosebumps under your touch and you heard him swallow. 

“If you’re going to keep being so obsessed with the moon, you might lose your life too,” you whispered. “Run away now, before it’s too late.” 

His hand twitched as he loosened up his arms on his sides and grabbed your fingers before you could get to his chest. 

“Selene might choose to put me to sleep?” 

“She might have to. For pity. To not let you die on the hands of the Fates instead since it’s gruesome.” 

Doyoung wrapped your shoulders with his arm and pulled you towards his body.

 You heard the buzzing of his voice near his heart when he talked. “I will not let the moon do that. Don’t worry.”

His scent was inebriating and you closed your eyes, palms shyly placed on the linen of his tunic, his breath tickling your forehead before he placed a kiss on it. 

The touch felt so dizzying that you had to inhale twice. 

“Promise?” you lifted your head and asked quietly, the words travelling on the little sigh you emitted and placing themselves on his plump ones. 

“I promise-,” he tried to say but he was so close that you didn’t let him finish, the kiss he gave you after you leaned in was better than any words. 

Then he kissed your cheek and jaw, then you felt his tongue gently outlining your ear until you whimpered and tightened your fingers into his clothes. He chuckled lightly and kissed the spot under the ear, down down on the neck, biting gently into your flesh as you started to pant. His hands palmed the bare skin on your back before meeting the fabric of your nightgown again. 

It was your turn to get goosebumps all over your skin as you melted in his hold. 

Then you noticed the lights of the dusk gently illuminating the small windows of the observatory and you had to lightly push his chest back. 

“I have to go,” you whispered quickly. 

“Just a minute,” he replied on your lips, his arms not wanting to let you go yet. You kissed him back in short pecks until he chuckled. 

“Okay okay. Go,” he pressed his lips into yours for the last time and you turned around fast, yelping once as he lightly slapped your ass. 

__________

“There’s something I need to confess,” you announced. 

Doyoung’s eyes weren't on the moon that night either and you smiled at the small victory. Then you felt a sting inside your chest that prompted you to finally be honest with him. 

Getting out of the water slowly you hoped he'd let his obsidian eyes shamelessly caress your skin but sensing your approach he lifted his eyes on the sky instead with a secret gulp. 

“What is it?” His voice was low and a little pasty. 

"Are you drinking?" you chuckled once surprised as your feet walked the short sand shore before you could feel the cool grass under your toes instead. 

Doyoung smiled. "It's starting to get a little bit cold these nights. I have to keep myself warm."

You kneeled in front of him, sitting on your legs and extending your hand towards the bottle. "I'm also a little chilly," you explained. 

The young man handed you the wine and watched your lips as you tasted it. 

"Perhaps if you didn’t wander around naked you won't be feeling this cold." 

"Perhaps if you finally let me under your cloak, you won't be feeling this cold either." 

Doyoung's pupils trembled and his lips tightened. His lashes fanned his cheeks a few times and he looked away as you collected a single drop of wine from your lower lip with the tip of the tongue. 

He was so stubborn to fully give in that it made you euphoric. 

After the little exchange in the observatory, you expected him to jump on you as soon as he saw you. Instead, he slyly sat down on his usual spot in front of the lake, eyes high on the sky and hands busy taking his notes. 

So you undressed as usual and entered the water until you could physically feel his gaze burning your skin.

You were actually relieved he felt like that. 

Nights after nights you wondered if you should just stop bothering him. 

You felt selfish and cruel. Cruel with yourself, because you already knew how it would end. He’d run away from you and if perhaps he would not, if he prefered to actually die, then- 

You drank again and enjoyed his awkward silence for a bit. 

“I’ve been watching you that first night," you confessed. Doyoung's breath halted for a second and you smiled.

I’m Selene. I’m actually Selene. 

“I told you that I’ve been watching you for many nights, actually. From my tower.”

You locked eyes and you felt his hand wrap yours making you shiver. He retrieved the bottle and sipped talking.

"Why?" 

I’m Selene. 

"For the same reason, you've been staring at the moon. To understand. And because you're beautiful." 

Doyoung gulped the liquid and his eyes finally locked with yours. 

"What do you want to understand about me?" 

"Everything."

The crickets kept you company in the moment of silence and for the first time Doyoung didn't shy away from openly looking at your curves and you felt your skin get goosebumps. 

His fingers then unbuttoned his cloak and lifting himself on his knees, he wrapped your naked body with it. The warmth and his scent almost made you whine in pleasure. You desperately wanted him to pull you down on top of him.

"So you choose that exact moment to come and talk to me." 

The little smile that crept on Doyoung's lips made you smile as well. He sat down again and relaxed back on one elbow.

“I had no idea that looking at the moon would get you horny if that's what you're saying."

He looked at you with the corner of his eyes. The amusement in them made you bite your lower lip. 

"You got horny by looking at me though." 

In your whole long life, you've never experienced that type of teasing. 

He was there, hands not on you, doing everything with his eyes instead of his touch and it was driving you insane. 

It was not the first time you'd come down and talk to admirers that loved to stare at you, yet not a single one has made it so difficult for you to sleep with them. 

Were you losing your charm? Was it their belief in Selene that made you look fascinating to their eyes? Was this the reason Doyoung kept it all together all of these nights? You were just a normal girl in his eyes, weren't you? 

It made you so frustrated. 

And relieved at the same time.

“So why were you horny that night?” 

“I’ve been dreaming about this girl I have never met before,” he admitted." I don't know who she is or what she looks like-"

"But she managed to get you horny like that?" 

He had another sip from the bottle as if regretting telling you that. 

"Maybe it was Selene? She's known for meeting people in their dreams," you suggested. 

I am Selene. It was me. Keep me close but please run away too. 

"Selene doesn’t-” he tried to reply but stopped, aware of your deep beliefs. 

"And a girl from your dreams does?" 

"I've never-” 

"Is this why you're here? You hope to dream about her again?" 

"I am here because I am studying the moon." 

“What was the girl doing in your dreams? Can you show me?” you lowered your voice and you could have sworn that Doyoung was ready to finally push you under his weight. 

“Don’t do this to me,” he whispered instead. 

I am sorry. I am so sorry. 

“Why not?” you touched his knee. 

“I haven’t been myself since you’re around.” 

“Is that a bad thing?”

It is. It’s such a bad thing.  

“I just… I want to concentrate on the moon-” 

“She’s not going anywhere.” 

If there were men that refused a naked girl as she explicitly asked them to touch her skin, Doyoung realized with great difficulty that he was not one of them. 

Fuck, when you straddled his lap and leaned down, not even Zeus and all of his squad would have been able to stop Doyoung from sliding his hands up your thighs and grab your waist.

"Will you leave me alone after this?" he whispered on your lips. 

"Only if you leave me alone first." 

"You came to me first."

"I don't think that's correct."

Doyoung's eyebrows furrowed at your words but he had no time to think about it at your command. 

“Kiss me,” you managed to tell him before he pulled you down on his chest and promptly bit your lower lip. You whined once and cupped his face as his hands pressed you on himself.

It was weird. It was so weird. 

His tongue playing with yours and his fingers caressing your naked body, you felt powerless. You were so small. 

A weird sensation was engulfing your chest just like his scent and warmth tickled your senses. 

It tasted like danger and it made your nerves shake. 

The desire was so high that it made you dizzy but the terror was just as big as you felt his grip tighten on you. 

You felt like any other man you bewitched before. Insane. At his mercy. 

And you desperately didn’t want him to die. 

"Wait!" 

Doyoung stopped kissing your neck and looked up at your face. 

"Is everything alright? Sorry if I-," 

"No, no, it's fine," you gulped, gently moving back until standing. 

You tugged at his cloak, even more, covering yourself up to the chin. 

"I'll borrow this if it's not an issue for you," you tried to smile a little. "I just remembered I need to go home. I’ll let you concentrate on your studies for now.” 

"Wait- it’s not morning yet-," he blinked at you and stood up as well, but you were already running away on the little dirt path towards the tower. 

__________

"Your game is so weak that you make girls run away now?" 

"I didn't tell you this to get teased by you," Doyoung replied sternly but when Ten looked over he smiled seeing the other's amused expression. 

"Perhaps she just wanted to seduce you and when you finally got seduced she got bored."

"Valid. But we could have at least finished." Doyoung sighed. "I'm afraid I scared her somehow." 

The lake sounded calm in the colours of the dawn and Doyoung raised his gaze to look at the sky. 

"I mean, I'd be scared to sleep with you too." Ten joked but Doyoung wasn't listening. 

"There's something else,” the latter mumbled, almost to himself. 

Ten went quiet and looked at the other's glowing profile. 

"She felt so familiar as I held into her. Her scent and voice and her breathing. She was exactly like the girl I've been dreaming about."

Ten whistled. "You're projecting now?"

"Maybe she didn't want to be used as I thought about that dreamy girl," Doyoung murmured on his own. “I swear they felt the same though.” 

Ten waved his palm in front of his brother's face but the other didn't flinch, eyes lifeless as he was lost in thoughts. 

Then Ten shrugged. 

"Go and find her. Ask to talk to her."

Doyoung finally came to his senses. "You want her father to kill me?" 

“Go to sleep then.” 

“What?” 

Ten shrugged again. “Go to sleep and see if they’re the same person.” 

“Don’t make fun of me.” 

“I told you that you should come over our weird mystical meetings sometime.” He signed the words with air quotes. “You’d understand that dreams can be something more than mere night hallucinations.” 

__________

Doyoung didn't look at the moon that night. 

Instead, he went to sleep when it came out adorning the sky and he fell into the slumber with its image burned on his eyelids. 

He felt an idiot but he hoped to see you.

Doyoung didn't believe in fate or higher forces but if his mind could somehow predict your arrival he wanted to find out how it worked. Theory, observation and conclusion. 

It was a soft dream. 

He was walking a flowery hill. The spectrally white blossoms were high to his hips and he gently let his hands caress their petals at his passage. The moon made them bright as if they were faes and all of them were directing him somewhere.

He knew you were there waiting for him before he could see you. 

Timidly sat on the top of the hill, your white gown was looking even brighter than the moon itself. Your thighs were full-on display and for a moment Doyoung felt like he'd lived a moment like this in the past already.

He stopped and looked down around his feet where a small rabbit tilted its head to the side, staring at him with its big and glossy eyes. It was light brown and fluffy. 

Doyoung chuckled once and crouched down. The little rabbit hopped into his arms and he carried it up until reaching your smiling face. 

“I missed you,” he said as a greeting. 

A small breeze made the flowers lean gently on the side and your gown inflated as you stood.

You took a little step towards him and placed one finger on his lower lip. 

He let his gaze fall on it and kissed your fingertip. His skin was warm and soft.

Then he kissed the round sweet you made appear in your hand.

He chuckled feeling the honey already melting on his lips. He bit into it and you ate the half of it that was leftover.

“Why are you running away from me?” he whispered as the rabbit hopped off.

You were unsure if he spoke to it or you.

“I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“The unknown.”

Doyoung lifted one hand and cupped your face. You exhaled and closed your eyes.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asked.

“Falling in love with you.” 

_________

“I’m glad you took some time off to see me, son.” 

“Thank you for accepting the invitation, sir.” 

The two men were slowly walking through the Tower’s gardens, full of roses bushes and soft grass. 

“How are the studies going? Got some new information about the Moon?” 

Doyoung inhaled, hands clasped together behind his back and tilted head. 

“I do. And that’s why I’m here. I have some questions for you, sir.” 

The Professor halted his movements and smiled under the thick eyebrows. 

“What’s all that about?” 

Doyoung started to walk again and the man followed him. 

“I think I might be slightly insane but what if our theories both coexist? What if the moon is just a celestial object for some and a goddess for others, based on their beliefs?” 

The man laughed. “Have you been to the meetings of that philosopher brother of yours lately?” 

Doyoung smiled a bit at the teasing. 

“I think you can be right,” the Professor then added with a different tone. 

They both stopped again and Doyoung tried to read the expression in his eyes. 

“We’re incredible beings. We’re creators. The divine in us wants to create things so badly. Art, science, food, babies.” 

They both smiled again. 

“Reality shifts according to what you believe in and you can create things out of nowhere.” 

“But is that true if I created it? Isn’t it just fantasy?” 

“And what exactly is reality in the first place?” 

“Something you can see and touch. Something you can feel with all of your senses.” 

“Air is reality. Can you see and touch it? Can you feel it with your tongue? No. But it’s here. We all agree on it.”

The astronomer smiled again. “It’s because we need different eyes to see it.” 

“Just like you need different eyes to see Selene instead of a round disk in the sky,” the man replied. 

Doyoung turned around and walked again in silence. 

“Would Selene start to exist like flesh and bone in front of me if I started to believe in her?” he asked after a moment. 

“Yes. And the moon would look like a piece of dirt to me if I had your beliefs instead.” 

Doyoung sighed, shaking his head to the side as if trying to apologize. 

“I don’t know why I started to think about all of these things.” 

“You’re not the first man to get heartache for her, Doyoung.” 

“I am not-” Doyoung blinked a few times, unable to go on. 

“It’s actually,” he finally faced the old man, “it’s actually all about your daughter, sir,” his voice was feeble and his cheeks lightly dusted with the colour of roses. 

The Professor opened his mouth for a moment but he was quick to close it as a little smile adorned his mouth instead. 

His arm moved and Doyoung fought the urge to not run away. But the man had no ill intentions. Instead he fatherly cupped the other’s nape and laughed once. 

“I do not have a daughter, my boy.” 

__________

She’s cruel.

Doyoung could understand that. He was not stupid nor blind. 

Swaying your hips around him, visiting him all nights, eyes full of him and basically begging him to touch you: only a fool would not take a hint. 

Yet, you didn’t come to him anymore. You ran away instead of fully seducing him, breaking him, leaving him desperate. 

Or was it the whole plan? Making him long for more until no other thought could have space in his mind? 

Well, it was working. 

But Doyoung was also the sole creator of his reality and his heart was still not acquainted with the truth of the moon being a goddess. And if he didn’t believe in you, you were not real. Just a fragment of his imagination, of his dreams.

Although your touch and your breath on his skin was something he could actually feel. And the thing blooming inside his heart was also something he could feel. 

Slow feet to drag to his observatory he barely noticed the white gown abandoned on the lake’s shore. He had no intentions to look for you yet there you were again when he least tried hard to reach you. 

The night was dark and the moon was but a mere semicircle in the middle of infinite stars. 

And you were barely visible in the slow movement of the lake too, eyes closed and face up to bathe into the myriad of lights. 

“I’ve never asked your name.” 

His voice was low but it startled you. He was standing on the strand of sand, nude feet gently touched by the water at a slow rhythm. 

Hands in his slacks pockets and head ever so slightly tilted to the side, he looked so confident to make your blood boil. 

Your eyes ran over his thighs then up to his small waist. You imagined yourself wrapping it with your arms, pressing your face into the clean scent of his white flowy shirt, fingers drawing the most prominent veins on his forearms made bare by his hands that slowly unbuttoned the sleeves.

“You didn’t.” 

You swam backwards, water hitting the swell of your breasts at each fluid movement as you put on a brave face.  

He smiled and your breath vibrated but then you couldn’t see his face anymore, hidden by the fabric he took off. 

His shirt fell near your gown and you looked at its trajectory before realizing what you had in front of you. 

“What are you doing?” your voice was not brave anymore as you spoke and you gulped once. 

“Taking a bath. I had a very long day,” he explained, amused eyes under his messy hair, hands already unbuttoning his pants. 

You watched those too as they fell to his ankles before he could step out of them and when you raised your eyes again you inhaled sharply. 

Doyoung didn’t comment on your inability to look at him but you could almost feel his smile burn the side of your face as you turned around, laying down on your back again and trying to calm your buzzing nerves. 

The water did nothing to lull you as your guts physically felt each meter Doyoung swam towards you. 

“I dreamt you a few nights ago,” he talked and his voice was nearer than you expected. 

“Oh really. Was that nice?” 

“You were there too, Selene."

You floundered with a gasp at that name on his lips but he was quick to wrap your body with his arms and keep you afloat. Your chest was expanding quickly and it stopped when you realized that it was pressed on Doyoung’s naked body. 

"What are you talking about?" you tried to chuckle, palms on his chest as if trying to push him away but not actually wanting to do it. 

“Look at me,” his voice was a whisper. 

You breathed out and kept staring at his collarbones instead. 

“A goddess would certainly have enough guts to look at a mere man’s eyes, wouldn’t she?” 

His fingers delicately drew your jaw until lifting your chin up. 

The look you exchanged was electrifying and your hands got buried in his shoulders’ muscles on their own. 

“You certainly have a lot of guts for a mere man.” 

“Is this why you’re running away from me? You’re not used to it? For your little pets to have guts?"

You scoffed once. 

“I could- I could set you on fire if I wanted to.” 

“You already do without trying,” he smiled. 

“I could physically turn you on fire, you know?”

Doyoung hummed at your threats and tightened his hold on your hips even more until there was no more possible space between your bodies anymore. 

“You’re physically turning me on fire,” he whispered near your ear. “Do you not feel it?” 

"Doyoung," you whined, his skin rubbing on yours as you shifted. 

"Selene," he replied. 

"We should not do this."

"Do what?" 

You exhaled frustrated and finally looked at his eyes. 

"You should not try to sleep with the goddess of the moon if you want to be alive."

"And who's going to kill me?" 

"The Fates." His lips curved up. 

"I'm serious! It's going to kill you."

"But I can’t step back. I'm just a weak mortal bewitched by you."

"We both know that's not true. You don't care about me at all. Not--,” you gulped. “Not like I do."

He smiled a little. 

"And that drives you insane, doesn’t it?" his breath caressed your earlobe as he whispered near it. "You hate being weak."

You closed your eyes with fluttering eyes as you felt his fingers caress your spine, from the base of your neck, down to your waist until reaching the softness of your ass.

"Why are you resisting me, let me in."

"You're just everything I was afraid of."

"Maybe it's time to stop and face your fears."

"There's no going back after this. You should run away now.”

"I don’t want to go back." 

"You said it yourself. You’re but a mere man. A human!” you argued. 

"And yet here you are, Selene herself melting in my arms."

You sighed in frustration. "Don’t get so cocky."

"You said that the worst thing that could happen is you falling in love with me. Is that really that bad?" 

“The Fates will get to you, Doyoung? Do you not understand? You’ll be gone.” 

“You said that you can put me to sleep more gently. Do that.”

“You’ll be gone!”

"I’ll find a way back to you."

"You’re so reckless for a scientist."

"Your influence on me is really bad.”

“You’re not taking this seriously at all.” 

“Can’t be rational when all I can think about is how much I want to fuck you dizzy.” 

You opened your mouth to reply something witty but you couldn't because with quick hands he took your arms and wrapped them around his neck. It was so quick that you were still in the middle of processing what just happened when with gentle fingers he directed your head closer to his face and pressed a sweet kiss on your lips. 

You let yourself be cuddled by his homely scents as you slid your fingers through his soft hair. His hands were drawing light lines on your back and between his arms, you felt warm and safe. All your worries were suddenly gone and you couldn't feel any tiredness or anxiety in your muscles as Doyoung smoothed it all for you.

He eventually broke up the kiss and you were both slightly breathless as you looked at each other in the eyes. His gaze was intense and rough and you couldn't stop thinking about the way your body was pressing against his.

Your thoughts might have been written on your face because he smiled slightly and got his hands busy to slowly slide his fingers across your ass and thighs. 

"I can stop if you want me to," he said, almost whispering. 

"No, don’t stop,” you whispered back. 

__________

“So, what are you? Like, immortal?” 

His voice was a low buzz. Head resting on your stomach and arms wrapped around your body, you let your hand gently play with his hair. 

The night was cold on the lake’s shore. His cloak felt soft under your naked bodies though and his mere presence made it impossible for you to feel any breeze. 

You exhaled and shifted in his hold to be able to look at him. “Yes, but I can die too.” 

“Well, you do have hot blood inside of your veins,” he smirked, lifting his head too, palming your body up until reaching your warm cheeks. You closed your eyes for a moment, gently rubbing your side of the face on his hand before opening them up and taking in the view of him between your legs. 

“I told you how this is a curse, right?” 

He hummed, going back to his previous position, hands wrapped around your thighs and slowly drawing diagrams on your skin. 

“And it’s bullshit.” 

“How is that-”  

“Who the hell are the Fates and why do they have a say in your destiny?” He sounded angry. 

“Also why are you even cursed?” he lifted his head to look at you and his furrowed eyebrows made you giggle. 

“The Goddess of the Moon is not the same forever. We change every other aeon. I have been chosen this time and with it came the curse.” 

Doyoung rolled his eyes so incredulously that you giggled again. 

“My heart is flowing with jealousy. Of all I’ve ever wanted, my hands got only smoke,” you whispered and Doyoung blinked at your sudden change in tone. 

“Hey,” he slithered upwards until placing his arms around your head. 

You wrapped his body with yours and hid your face into the crook of his neck.

“It’s going to be so soon,” you whined. 

“What?” he rolled over and pulled you towards his chest. 

“The Judgement.” 

Like a spell that summons darkness, the night sky suddenly got hidden. 

You inhaled sharply and got up, away from his hold.

Doyoung’s eyes were wide, looking at your face then at the sky where no stars and moon were shining anymore. 

“You have to run away,” your voice trembled. 

“I will not do that,” he stood as well, hands trying to pull you closer again. 

You took a few steps back, shaking your head as if afraid of him to touch you. 

“Doyoung, are you perhaps a fool?” you almost screamed. 

“Yeah, maybe I am.” 

"You said that you wouldn't let me do this!" you cried out, face wet with tears, unable to get closer to him any further. “I thought you didn’t love me and you’d run away like the others!”

Doyoung was pale and with shaky hands trying hard to reach you. But you were the Moon, high up in the sky and so far away for him to touch. 

“How can I not love you?” he whispered. 

You brought a hand to your mouth, feet slowly leaving the shore, rising in your goddess glory. But there was nothing glorious at that moment as your body jolted with hiccups. 

"It's alright, " he whispered. "Everything is fine. We can deal with this.”

"It's my fault. I've been a fool." 

"No. No. Listen to me."

"I don't want to lose you…" your voice was tiny as he slowly descended on his knees, arms resting in his lap, eyes taking in the beauty of your light. 

"Do it quickly. It's okay," Doyoung added.  

You looked away. 

"It's okay," he repeated. "I'll find a way to get to you. I promise."

"Stop, please, just stop. Why don’t you just go away?” 

"If not in this life, in another one. This is but a mere fragment of our existence. My soul's eternal and it will always long for you. I'll come and find you. I can't let you go.” 

"Doyoung-," 

"My love. Put me to sleep. It's not death.” 

"It's worse than death!” 

"I'll find a way. Trust me. We’re ending this to start again. I do not intend to run away like some coward in front of these Fates.” 

"Doyoung," you whined again, the sight of the Fates darkening the hills beyond him making your eyes fill to the brim until you were unable to see. 

He didn't look back. His eyes were on you all of the time. 

His eyes have always been on you all of the time. 

Your feet touched ground again and he smiled, his own eyes being two little night skies filled with little shiny stars. 

His hair floated in the killing wind of the Fates approaching each step closer, yelling, screaming, shaking the ground. 

Your trembling hands didn't look like your own as you cupped his face and kissed his lips desperately, the whispers of your love filling up his mouth. Until he inhaled deeply.

Until the darkness of the Fates passed above you with a deafening yell of a thousand birds. You wrapped his head with your arms, protecting him and he wrapped your torso with his. 

"Go away!" you screamed towards the halo dancing around in the sky. It let out a frustrated cry and before you could realize it, it went away in a minute, leaving behind but buzzing silence. 

You gulped feeling your throat raw, a little sparkle of hope still lingering in your chest. 

But then you looked down at his face and a loud hiccup knocked all of your body. 

Your kiss worked. 

You held him in your arms and watched his peaceful expression dotted by your warm tears. 

He was beautiful and eternally asleep. 

__________

From “I will not vanish” with Haechan coming up in March

“How bizarre. Not dead yet not alive either.” 

The voice startled Doyoung in the silence of the prison. It was warm and pleasant. Almost childish. 

“Who talked?” 

Doyoung walked the dark corridor slowly, eyebrows furrowed and eyes scanning every cell. 

“I did.” 

The voice sounded clearer with each step he took until he was sure it came from the farthest away room. It was darker and bigger than the others.

“Don’t be afraid. Come closer.” The voice was amused. 

Doyoung stopped in front of it and blinked hard to see inside. 

The creature inside of it giggled once and leaned forwards into the feeble light of Doyoung’s torch. 

The latter flinched and took a step backwards. 

Two round eyes looked at Doyoung from underneath fluffy hair. His lips were plush just like his cheeks. Yet Doyoung could tell he was not a child. The eyebrow scratch and sharp jawline that flinched as he smirked communicated infinite amounts of years. 

“Donghyuck the demon?” 

The young man rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

“I’ve been terrorizing whole villages in their dreams, asking them to call me Haechan and no one is passing the message around? Donghyuck is such an old fashioned name now.” 

Doyoung blinked at him, unable to crack a single word. 

The demon snickered. “What did you expect to see, human? A wobbly indistinguishable mass with four voices talking all at once?” 

“Yes,” Doyoung replied honestly. 

“Those are the angels. Have you seen an angel? They have like seven arms and twelve eyes. Like, you’re an angel, right? With all those great powers. And what do you do? You appear to people with disgusting eyes around the belly button?” 

Haechan leaned to the side on one elbow and imitated puking sounds.

“I had an unpleasant encounter with an Archangel.” 

Haechan smiled at the other’s words and got up from the floor. Doyoung expected chains around his limbs but nothing was holding the demon back. 

He walked slowly towards the edge of the cell and Doyoung noticed his bare feet and ankles. They looked like the ones of a prince not having worked one single day in his life.

“Archangels are smarter. They don’t look as good as me but they at least don’t scare away young girls. Who did you discuss with to leave you so desperate to come here? Also what the hell happened to you? An eternal sleepwalker?"

Haechan was mere centimetres away from Doyoung but the latter didn’t step back. 

“Mark.” 

The other hummed. “Archangel Mark. He’s still on that bullshit? Fate and all?” 

“You’re a demon. You know everything.” 

Haechan laughed. “Yeah.” He walked along the edge with hands behind his back before turning his face towards Doyoung again. “So he’s the reason why you chose me?” 

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"You think we're going to be friends?" 

"Business partners."

Haechan licked his lower lip amused. 

"What do you want?" 

"Love."

Haechan snorted. "Okay, loser. And what are you offering me?" He lifted one eyebrow. 

"Freedom." 

__________

Haechan stared at the contract Doyoung handed him. It was a big heavy book and Haechan touched its cover. 

And if she’s not my soulmate, I’d rather wander alone than touching someone else’s skin, I’d rather walk this earth with no hand to hold and lift me from the ground. And if I have to heal from it and accept the universe’s imposed call, I’d rather suffer from my eternally open wounds. I’ll fight the stars and let them burn me, I’ll let them laugh at my weakest state and I’d gladly make them erase my memory of ever existing in all of the infinite lives if I have to follow Fate.

Turning it over he read the words that appeared on the back after meeting you.

I’m walking through dark times But please come to me just once If I see you again, will I be able to hug you? With this body that’s frozen and about to break? Your eyes and your warm voice I long for it like crazy One day, give me your hand too, turn around and look at me Find me, just once I’ll wait so please come back*

Haechan let out a dry scoff and sighed, looking over the empty hills. 

“Losers.”

*”Who waits for love” by SHINee   

#doyoung #neosmutcollective #nct-writers #doyoung smut #doyoung angst #nct #nct smut #nct angst #doyoung soulmates au #nct soulmates au #doyoung imagines #doyoung scenarios #nct imagines #nct scenarios #soulmates collection #haechan #ten #kun

[itsallyscorner]

I'm loving your little mix works so much I wanted to request something if you're not too busy idk if you've seen the interview where perrie says that alex went to rehearsals with her because she couldn't get choreographies right and he would help her well what if tom did the same for reader??? and Jesy is soft for them but she won't admit it

Hi lovey! Thank you so much for the request! I added a little twist to it, but it’s still the same concept you wanted. AND YES, JESY LOVES THEM TOGETHER SHE JUST DOESN’T WANT TO ADMIT IT. I hope you like it, happy reading!💜✨

💌.

Patience

I hope you enjoy this! I honestly had so much fun rewatching Break Up Song over and over again to get the little dance they do in the chorus, it’s stuck in my head lol. That’s basically the dance the reader is trying to do, if you want to see the dance it’s somewhere towards the end of the Break Up Song video!

You watched the video your choreographer sent to you and the girls. You watched it over and over again, taking a moment to study the moves before getting up from the bed and doing them yourself. The video was a little dance Kayleigh, your choreographer, created for the Break Up Song music video. Since the pandemic was still in full affect and everyone was still on lockdown, shooting a music video at a studio was an absolute no go. As much as it sadden you and the girls that you couldn’t film your original vision for the video, your health and the crew’s health meant the most to all of you at the moment. Instead of not filming a music video at all, you and the girls have decided that it would be fun to shoot the video on your own at your own homes.

Which brings you to today. You were in your room, that you shared with Tom, trying to learn the choreography. Honestly, it wasn’t that hard of a dance, it was quite simple. The video Kayleigh sent you all was probably less than a minute. The dance was supposed to be done during the chorus, the rest of the song would be freestyle or clips of you all doing some nonsense for fun.

Your brows furrowed together, eyes glaring at your phone screen while you tried to figure out how to sway your arms and circle them to make them cross. Like Perrie, it took you a while to learn choreography. Unlike the other three, you and Perrie took extra time studying the dancers and had extra sessions at the studio to get the choreography down. Though it was sometimes frustrating, the end result was always worth it.

You cursed to yourself as the video ended for the twentieth time. You tried repeating the steps, watching yourself in the mirror, but it just wasn’t coming out right. You felt your body growing hot as you became upset at yourself for not understanding a few simple steps. You thought learning through a video would be easier, but no, it’s more difficult for you. There was no guidance from Kayleigh, she wasn’t there to tell you what you were doing wrong or what you were doing right. You just felt lost and confused.

Groaning, you snatch your phone from the table and throw yourself onto your bed. You take Tom’s pillow, hugging it as you lay on your stomach. You shove your face into his pillow, the smell of him with a mix of his shampoo bringing you some kind of solace from your frustration.

(Y/n)🌺: Girls, do we really need to have a dance in the video?

Perrie🦋: Yeah I agree. Do we REALLY need one?

Jesy💖: Don’t tell me you guys can’t get that?

Do you not get it?

Leigh-Anne😻: Huns, it’s like learning a TikTok dance

Jade💜: It’s so easy! Girls, it’s like 30 secs of the video. We always have a dance choreo in our videos!

(Y/n)🌺: But we’re bad at dancing🥺

Perrie🦋: You all know how hard it is for me and (y/n) to pick up choreography:(

Jesy💖: (y/n), isn’t Tom a dancer?

(Y/n)🌺: He used to do ballet and he was in Billy Elliot, he won’t shut up about it.

Why?

Jesy💖: Ask twinkle toes to help you, he might be able to teach you.

If he can teach you how to spoil things, he can teach you how to dance👌🏽

Jade💜: ^^^ she’s got a point

Leigh-Anne😻: Omg Tom did ballet?

Jesy💖: Lmao what a loser

(Y/n)🌺: That’s actually a good idea, I’ll go bother him rn:))

Perrie🦋: Right I’m glad (y/n) has a way to learn the dance but what about me? I live with a football player🙁

Turning your phone off, you hop out of bed and skip your way out of the bedroom. You walk around the house looking for Tom, but instead bump into Harrison and Tuwaine.

“Boys, where’s Thomas?” You ask them, stealing one of the chips Harrison was eating. With a playful glare, he softly smacks your hand. You cheekily grin at him as you eat the chip.

“He’s outside with Harry, they’re cleaning the patio.” Tuwaine answers. Harrison snorts, “And doing a shit job at it.” You quickly thank them and pull on the glass sliding doors to get to the backyard. You see Harry with one of those power hoses spraying dirt off the concrete as Tom stood to the side filming him. You wait for him to end his video before coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around his torso.

“I thought you were supposed to be cleaning with Harry?” You ask him, earning Harry’s attention.

“You know what (y/n), that’s exactly what I said!” Harry answered sarcasticly, spraying the hose dangerously close to Tom’s feet. Your boyfriend yelps, turning around to scoop you in his arms and move you both away from Harry and the hose.

“You dick!” He hissed at his brother. Harry chuckles satisfied at riling up his brother. He turns around and returns to his task at hand.

Tom puts you down on your feet though his hands remain at your hips. You look up at him, admiring the way his eyes and hair give off a sweet honey color in the sun.

“What’s up bub? Have you got the dance down yet?” He asks, thumbs rubbing circles onto your hips. Your face contorts together, nose scrunched up in irritation at the mention of the dance. Tom notices your change in expression and pouts at you.

“I’m gonna take that as a no?” You sigh, leaning into his chest and rest your head on his shoulder. Picking up on your exasperation, he pulls you in closer and places his palm on your back rubbing soothing circles onto it.

“I don’t know why I can’t just get it. It’s so bloody simple and I just can’t do it. Why am I like this?” You ramble, beating your head against his shoulder with every word. Tom makes a sound of disagreement as he gently pulls you away from his shoulder.

Before he can speak he presses multiple kisses onto your forehead making you giggle, “There’s nothing wrong with you, darling. It just takes you a little bit longer to properly learn choreography, there’s nothing wrong with that! You’re an excellent dancer in my eyes.”

You fondly roll your eyes at him, always one for the sweet talk, “You’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”

“No, I’ve seen you dance before (y/n), you’re actually good.” His eyes quickly rake over your body, “But as your boyfriend, I think you look extremely hot when you dance. Especially in those little costumes you wear during tour.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, placing a light kiss on his lips. “Hmmm, ok. Well, then as my boyfriend, will you help me learn the dance?” You try to soften him up with some puppy eyes and a smile that made the corner of your lips squish up to your cheeks.

Without any hesitation, he agrees, not thinking of how difficult it would be to actually teach you the dance.

~⏰~

Hours pass and Tom was slowly losing his shit. He loves you, absolutely adores you, like nothing in the world will ever make him stop loving you. But trying to teach you simple choreography was making him loose his mind.

Tom stares blankly at the floor, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. You stood a few feet away from him, cringing to yourself as you watched your boyfriend regain his patience with you.

“I love you.” You squeaked out sinking into your shoulders. Tom sighs and takes his head out his hands to look at you tiredly. He drags himself off the bed and stands in front of you. He cups your face in his hand, squishing it gently and playfully growls at you.

“Darling, I love you too.” He affirms with a fond smile. He lets out a breath before resting his forehead onto yours, “I just—why can’t you get it? I don’t understand.”

You pout at him and huff, “It’s not that easy, it’s really hard!” You and him had been practicing for a while now. For the first few minutes, Tom watched the video a number of times until he finally got the steps memorized. Then he took an hour of breaking down each step for you while you stood beside him repeating his moves. When he asked you to do it all together, all the steps you’ve rehearsed went out the window. Which lead to Tom breaking down the steps for you once again and so on.

“Baby, I did everything I can. I’ve done it really slow and explained each step to you.” He reasoned. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“But it’s hard Tommy!” You defended yourself, almost on the verge of crying because you still couldn’t comprehend the steps. Though you were probably overreacting, your whole day had been full of frustration; you were tired and mad at yourself for not understanding something so simple and now it was all coming together to make you explode.

“(Y/n), it’s like only ten to nine steps, you could do it.” Tom tried to encourage you. You groaned and pull yourself away from him. You plop yourself down to the bed, face smushed right into the pillows.

“I’m hopeless.” You said into the pillow, though it might have came out muffled for Tom. Tom frowned at your figure on the bed. He was upset at two things. One, he hated seeing you so frustrated with yourself. He just wanted to wrap you up in hugs and tell you that he was proud of you for trying your best. Two, he was mad at himself for kind of loosing his temper with you. You asked him for help and he did do that but he could have been a bit more patient. He knew you weren’t that good with rehearsing choreography so he should have expected the process to take a little bit slower.

“(Y/n), it’s swing, swing, round, swing, what’s so hard to understand?” Tom swung his arms like how Kayleigh did in the video, though his motions were quite harsh and sharp.

“I don’t know! I can’t swing my arms properly.” You complained, repeating his steps, your arms moving loosely.

“It’s just swinging your arms! There’s nothing hard about swinging your arms!” He exploded, throwing his arms in the air. An almost crazed look was in his eyes as he gripped onto the roots of his hair. Squeezing his eyes shut he took a breath in, “I need a break.”

Guilt filled him as he heard a sniff come from the pillow. Tom was immediately by your side trying to get you to look at him. “Darling, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.”

He sees you move your face so he can hear you properly, “No, it’s okay, you were just expressing how you feel. It’s my fault I can’t comprehend simple choreograph.”

Tom sighs, shifting so he’s laying against you, head resting on the same pillow as yours while he waits for you to look at him again. One hand supports his head and the other rubs circles onto your back. He feels you relax under his touch making him pull you closer because he felt like you needed the comfort. You were trying your best, he knew you were. In fact, he even saw you getting some of the steps correct, you just instantly doubted yourself.

“No, I should’ve remembered that it takes a few times for you to memorize choreography. I should’ve been more patient.” He began. “And you came to me for help and I did nothing but make you even more upset, I’m sorry.” He apologized. Your head rises from the pillow, Tom softly chuckles at the strands of hair that covered your face.

“Don’t say that, you did a great job at helping me, I’m just—stupid.” You shrug nonchalantly. Tom rolls his eyes, brushing the strands of hair that covered your face behind your ear. “Now that’s stupid, you’re one of the smartest girls I know.”

You snort shoving his hand away from you, “You said I was an excellent dancer and look at where that got us.”

“You are an excellent dancer, love. You just doubt yourself.” He gets up from the bed and holds his hand out for you. “Let’s try again?”

You glance at him then at his hand before finally giving in. You grasp his hand, using it as leverage to help yourself off the bed. Tom smiles proudly at you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, “That’s my girl.”

~⏰~

Since standing beside each other was not doing the trick, Tom decided that he would try standing behind you. With your back against his chest, he outstretched his hands to hold onto your arms and guide them.

“Right, so we’re swinging this way, that way, then we go around and swing again.” Tom explained as he puppets your arms in those directions. You stare at yourself in the mirror and repeat Tom’s words to yourself. Tom glances at you from your shoulder, where his chin rested, seeing the gears shifting in your brain.

“Ok, we swing twice, then go around once, and swing again.”

Tom hums at you in response, “Yeah, you’ve got that part down.” He takes your left arm and brings it to your right shoulder, then your right arm to your left shoulder.

“After the swing we go chest, chest, so that it makes an x.” Tom continues to explain. You nod along, making mental notes to yourself. Suddenly, you jump, taking Tom by surprise.

“What happened?”

“I know the next move!” You beamed, shaking your arms from his grip and forming a heart with them. “After the X, we make a heart, and then it’s that shimmy thing.”

The grin on Tom’s face made the corners of his eyes crinkle and made his pearly whites twinkle at you, “Yeah, that’s right! Can you show me the stuff we’ve rehearsed so far?”

You purse your lips at yourself in the mirror, going over the mental notes you took in your head. The opening steps involved a little skipping in place while you punched the air three times; two punches on the left and one on the right. Then that would lead into the swinging, then the chests that make an X, the heart and shimmy.

“You remember darling, don’t doubt yourself.” He motivates you.

You jump around your spot and shake your limbs out, “Alright, I think I’m good.”

“Go for it, love.” Tom nods at you as he stands to the side with his hands on his hips, almost like a dance instructor or some teacher.

“I’m gonna sing the lyrics out, it helps.” You comment. Tom waves you off, “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“So it’s—so tonight I’ll sing another,” You skip and do the punches.

“Another break up song,” You transition into the arm’s choreography, swinging them and going around once. You jump so your legs are together and do the X with your arms over you chest. You make the heart and do the shimmies, squealing excitedly when you finally get all the steps done correctly.

“I DID IT!” You happily yell jumping into Tom’s arms. He catches you right on time with just as much cheerfulness as you.

“I KNOW, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” He cheers making you both jump in celebration. You hug him tightly, continuously thanking him. Without Tom, you probably would’ve never learned the dance properly and would have given up the moment you felt like it. But thankfully, you had a loving boyfriend who never gave up on you. No matter how much you drove him mad.

“Seriously Tom, thank you for helping me. You didn’t have to, but I really appreciate it.” You tell him once he places you back on the ground.

“It’s no trouble, especially for you, I’d do anything for you.” He grins pecking your lips. You hum against his soft lips pulling him back in to meet yours again.

“Let’s just hope I can still remember this till tomorrow.” 

Tom chuckles against your lips, “Darling we aren’t even done yet, that was just the first bit.” You pull away from him, mouth agape, “Wait there’s more?”

#marvel #mcu #avengers #Tom Holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagines #tom holland one shot #tom holland headcanon #tom holland fanfiction #little mix #ally’s request #jade thirlwall #perrie edwards #leigh anne pinnock #jesy nelson

[liberty-barnes]

The Swear Jar

Part 1 of The Jar Series

Mob Boss!Tom Holland x Single Mom!Reader

Prompt: “I've never said a single fucking swear word in my whole damn life”

Warnings: swearing obviously, Tom’s a mob boss so there’s that, there’s like, one sexual innuendo but also ??? not really??? idk

Word Count: 4k (i really need to learn to write short things)

Estimated Reading Time: 16 minutes

A/N: It’s the pic guys, I can’t help it.

Edit: Wow, you guys actually liked this! So since many of you asked, a part will be coming out soon, maybe more, we’ll see. So if you wanna be added to my “The Swear Jar” Taglist, just ask me or add yourself directly through the link in my bio!

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

The bell above the door to the diner chimed and you perked up, smiling brightly at the young teenage couple.

“Gracie! Stella! It’s so good to see you again!”

The girls greeted you with the same amount of enthusiasm and proceeded to order their usual meal.

“Your hair’s really pretty Stella! You look like a mermaid now!”

“Thanks, Millie! I took your advice and went with blue instead of purple.”

The young girl smiled and captured the couple’s attention by showcasing her current work in progress.

Millicent Rose (Y/l/n) was your five-year-old daughter. She had brown hair, falling on her shoulders in nice large curls, and big (y/e/c) eyes, a perfect match to yours. She loved drawing (the diner walls were crawling with her masterpieces) and pretty hair, especially if it was soft. 

Her bubbly and fearless personality sometimes frightened you, but you mostly came to terms with the fact that your daughter was a social butterfly and took full advantage of the small diner to interact with as many people as she could.

You watched with a fond smile as Millie explained what she had been drawing to the girls, mentioning every little detail while they praised her good work. The young brunette had a gift to make anyone love her.

Soon enough, their large milkshake to share was finished and Lou, the owner and cook, was all done with the food so the girls sat down at a booth and Millie went back to drawing, little feet dangling off the chair and little brows furrowed in concentration. 

As you were refiling Mr and Mrs Lee’s drinks, the bell chimed once more and four men walked in dressed in stylish suits, much too fancy for this place. They sat down at a booth and started talking while you took a deep calming breath.

Oh, fuck me.

You took your notepad and walked over to them, a much too fake smile on your face.

“Good morning gentlemen, what can I get you?”

The table quieted down and you made eye contact with who you knew to be the leader.

“I’ll have a burger with fries and a strawberry milkshake.”

One of the twins said.

“I’ll have the same but with a chocolate milkshake instead.”

The other one added.

“Vegi burger and a coke, please.”

At least the blonde one had some manners. 

Your eyes lifted from the notepad to the leader once again.

“And for you?”

You did your best to ignore the slight tremble in your voice.

“Bacon cheeseburger, fries and a coke, darling.”

“Right away.”

You got out of there as soon as possible, sparing a glance at your daughter to make sure she was still sitting at the counter before entering the kitchen with a panicked expression on your face.

“Lou…”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“You’ve got an order… for the Hollands…”

“Well, shit.”

The Holland family was the oldest and most successful mob in London, extremely rich, dangerous, and seemingly untouchable.

Harry and Sam Holland, the twins, were rumoured to have been behind the Burtons’ death, another famous family known for drug trafficking and other crimes.

Harrison Osterfield, the second in command, was a close family friend, accused of drug trafficking, illegal weapons selling, and other such crimes, though the charges all dropped before the first hearing even took place.

And finally, Thomas Holland, the leader. Arrested for multiple murders, arson, extortion, and a long list of other felonies, but never convicted.

Everyone was scared of them, and the fact that they were eating here was not good for business. 

You ignored the tightness in your chest in favour of helping Lou prepare their food, hoping to do it as fast as possible so the group could leave.

Meanwhile, at the booth, Tom was rolling his eyes at his brothers and friend’s stupidity. 

“Okay, we get it, she’s hot, but you don’t have to talk about it all the fucking time.”

Millie turned her head in their direction and scowled. She stretched a bit to the other side of the counter to take the transparent jar and got down from her chair, making her way to their booth, stomping a bit, which made her Sketchers light up.

The diner watched with curious (and slightly frightened, for the Lees) eyes as the little girl climbed onto the booth next to Harrison, one leg after the other, and kneeled next to the blonde, setting her elbow on the table and stretching so the transparent jar was now sitting in front of Tom.

He looked at it: a lid-less mason jar with a pink bow and right in the front, in a child’s handwriting and pink glittery letters were the words 'Swear Jar’.

“You owe a pound.”

He lifted his head to look at the girl.

“I beg your pardon?”

“When someone says a bad word they have to put a pound in the jar. You said a bad word so you owe a pound.”

“I’ve never said a single fucking swear word in my whole damn life!”

“That’s two more so you have to put three pounds in.”

“Yeah, Tom, put the money in.”

Harrison had his arms around the girl and a smug smile on his face, evidently taking a liking to the young brunette.

“Shut the fuck up Haz, you curse more than I do!”

“Four.”

“Shit.”

That one was not on purpose.

“Five.”

“Okay, okay, jeez, hold on.”

He took out his wallet and took his only five-dollar bill amid all the hundreds.

“Just gonna put the money in this stupid jar.”

“Six.”

“Wha- stupid’s not a swear word!”

“I’m not allowed to say it so yes, it is.”

Tom rummaged around his wallet for a stray pound, reluctantly putting a hundred in after finding nothing.

“Does that mean I’m allowed to say ninety-nine swear words?”

“No paying in advance, everything that’s not the money you owe is a donation.”

“To what foundation?”

“The ‘get Millie new glitter pens’ foundation”

She answered with a smirk and everyone -bar Tom- was pretty much crying at seeing their boss be told what to do by a five-year-old.

“Man, you are so screwed!”

“That’s one pound for you, Mister!”

“Oh shit, right!”

“Two…”

Harry took out his wallet (still laughing his arse off, mind you) and didn’t even try to look for the two pounds, simply putting in a hundred.

Millie’s eyes were focused solely on Tom’s hair. She climbed on top of Harrison, her pink tulle skirt flying behind her and stood on the seat next to the brunette, her hands immediately flying to his hair.

“You have very pretty hair. It’s really soft.”

“Thank you, darling.”

She hummed and kept playing with the soft strands.

“My name’s Tom, and these are my twin brothers Harry and Sam, and my best friend, Haz.”

She looked around for a while, not answering, seemingly lost in thought until she looked back at him and her sparkling (y/e/c) eyes focused on his brown ones.

“Nice to meet you, Tommy. I’m Millie.”

“T-Tommy?”

Sam stuttered out between peels of laughter.

“I don’t like Tom, Tommy’s better. Why are you so shocked Twin Nice?”

Harry looked appalled.

“Why's he Twin Nice?”

“Because you said a bad word and he didn’t, so he’s Twin Nice and you’re Twin Naughty.”

Sam did a little victory dance, bragging about his new nickname to his twin.

The little girl sat down on Tom’s lap and started to play with the black ring on his finger.

“What am I, then?”

She looked up to Harrison from in between Tom’s fingers, still playing with the thick band.

“You’re Thor cause you have pretty eyes and you look really strong.”

To say that the blonde was pleased would be an understatement.

“You, little lady, are my new best friend. We need to come here more often.”

Millie smiled and went back to observing the ring.

“Does this mean you’re married?”

Tom chuckled and shook his head slightly.

“No, it means that I’m a part of the Holland family, like them.”

Everyone around the table showed theirs, a symbol of their high status in the mob.

“So you don’t have a girlfriend?”

“Nope.”

“Do you live with your mommy?”

“No, I live with these dumbasses in a big house.”

She pushed the swear jar towards him and gave him what could only be described as the 'Disappointed Mom’ look.

“Do you like it?”

“Kind of, sometimes they get on my nerves and I wish they’d rot in Hell, but yeah, it’s not too bad.”

She slapped his hand in reprimand and he internally cursed himself.

“Don’t you miss your mommy?”

“A little, but I see my parents every Sunday for family dinner.”

He answered after placing yet another bill in the jar.

“Parents?”

“Yeah, my mum and dad.”

She hummed.

“I wish I had a dad.”

The boys all stiffened. 

Well, that escalated quickly.

Tom cleared his throat, measuring his words before speaking, for once in his life.

“Do you know what happened to your dad?”

“Mommy says he left cause he wasn’t good like her. She says it’s okay, though, cause we only need each other but my friend Lilly has a mommy and a daddy and she told me that sometimes when her mommy’s sad or tired he’ll do all the grown-up stuff like cook and read her a story while her mommy rests and she’s happier that way. I want my mommy to be happy like that too.”

For Tom, it felt like his cold, dead heart was starting to beat again. This little angel sitting on his lap was asking for something most children already had, not for herself, but for her mother.

“You’re a really good person, Millie.”

“If you stopped saying so many bad words you’d be one too, Tommy.”

The boys laughed yet again and they continued talking for a little while, refraining from any work-related issues for the sake of their newest addition, choosing instead to discuss sports and fighting over who’d be on cleaning duty that Sunday. Three more bills made their way to the jar during that particular discussion, one from each boy (bar Sam because he was on cooking duty, as always), and for once they allowed themselves to relax and simply be, instead of always worrying.

You got out of the kitchen with the men’s orders ready and looked at the end of the counter, planning to check on Millie before walking over to the mobsters’ table. Your brows furrowed when you didn’t find her and you immediately looked towards the girls’ table or the Lees’, finding she wasn’t there either.

“Mommy, over here!”

You followed your child’s voice and your eyes widened once you saw her sitting on the leader’s lap. The smiling leader’s lap.

You quickly made your way to their booth, placing their orders in front of them without even taking your eyes off your daughter.

“Millicent Rose! What have I told you about bothering people when they’re in their booths?”

She looked guilty for half a second but immediately perked up again, ready to defend herself.

“Not to, but Mommy, he said a bad word so I had to take the swear jar to him.”

“And why, pray tell, are you sitting in the gentleman’s lap?”

“His name’s Tommy and he said he didn’t mind and this way I can talk to Thor, Twin Nice and Twin Naughty better.”

Tommy, Thor, Twin Nice, and Twin Naughty?

“Oh, fuck me.”

Millie’s jaw dropped open. She’d never heard you swear before.

“You owe a pound, Mommy.”

“Yeah, I know, I know.”

You pulled a pound from your pocket and put it in, eyes widening at the amount of money in the jar.

“How in the world?”

“I didn’t have singles so I just put hundreds in. Apparently, it’s a donation to the 'Get Millie new glitter pens’ foundation.”

You set the jar down and shook your head in disbelief.

“I am never letting Harley babysit you ever again.”

She pouted and slumped down, arms crossed adorably in front of her.

“Now come on, let the gentlemen eat their lunch in peace and come get yours.”

She cuddled up to Tom more than before, burying her head in his chest and fisting his shirt, and shaking her head in protest.

“Millie, come on, let’s go. I’m so sorry for the bother sir.”

“It’s no problem, she’s welcome to say for however long she wants.”

The brunette smiled at your daughter and then at you, before the man on his right interrupted.

“Besides, she’s very entertaining. It’s nice to see someone else call Tom out on his bullshit.”

You and Millie threw the blonde matching glares while Tom just pushed the jar towards him.

“You owe a pound, Haz”

“Excuse you Tommy, my name’s Thor.”

He then turned to you with a smug smile and attitude.

“Cause I have pretty eyes like him and look very strong. Don’t you agree with your daughter… (Y/n)?”

He read your name tag and smiled charmingly while you pursed your lips, looking him up and down. You then looked at your little girl.

“You sure?”

“Well, who else has pretty blue eyes?”

“Captain America.”

She light up right away and straightened herself.

“Right! And he looks like Captain America when he was tiny! Thanks, Mommy!”

She then turned to Harrison with a gigantic smile on her face.

“You’re Tiny America now.”

The whole table -bar Haz- laughed and you had to bite your lip not to laugh too, instead linking your hands and looking at the clock.

“Come on Millie, it’s time to eat.”

“Can I eat here with Tommy, please?”

“If you eat here with Tommy I won’t be able to make sure you eat your veggies.”

The man’s heart stuttered when you used his nickname, a strange sense of happiness overcoming him.

“Tommy can check.”

“Mm… I’m not sure if he can check you ate them. He’s not used to your sneakiness.”

“What if I pinky promise to eat my veggies and eat a banana for dessert instead of ice cream?”

It was a struggle to get her to eat fruits and veggies. You usually had to settle for one or the other, so when she spontaneously decided to eat both, you jumped at the opportunity, mob be damned.

“Deal! But no annoying the boys.”

She smiled and nodded, settling comfortably on Tom’s lap, waiting for her food. You took out her plate of chicken nuggets, fries, and green beans, chocolate milkshake to wash it down.

You tried not to let the butterflies in your stomach distract you from your job but the way Tom smiled at your daughter and praised her when she ate all her veggies in a row, wanting to get it over with, made your heart ache, the longing for someone still very much present.

“Have a nice meal.”

You made eye contact with the brunette and blushed at the smile he sent you before waving goodbye at the Lees. The teenage couple had left a bit earlier so the mobsters were now your last customers of the day.

You wiped the kitchen counters and said goodbye to Lou, assuring him that you’d close up by yourself. As soon as he left, you took a deep breath and sighed, unable to stop your smile when you heard your daughter’s laugh carrying through the wall separating you from the group.

“Mommy, we’re done!”

You straightened up and schooled your features before walking over to them, taking away their plates while asking if Millie behaved and if they wanted dessert. The answer to both questions was a yes and so you came back a little while later with chocolate pudding for the twins, caramel ice cream for Harrison, a banana split for Tom, and a miniature one for Millie.

“Since you behaved so nicely you get a little sweetness with your banana.”

Her eyes sparkled and she smiled brightly at you.

“You’re the best mommy ever! I love you!”

“Love you too, baby.”

You turned around, ready to leave, when a voice stopped you.

“Why don’t you sit down with us for a bit? I’m pretty sure that if you wipe that table down one more time you’ll remove the paint.”

You blushed but complied, sitting down next to Harrison and watching as your daughter ate her dessert quickly and quietly, wincing from time to time because of brain freezes. As soon as she was done, she reached for Tom’s right hand. He switched the hand that held the spoon, eating with his left so that Millie could play with the ring on his finger.

Unfortunately for him, he had a bit of trouble eating with his non-dominant hand while holding a child on his lap, leading to a bit of ice cream falling on his shirt.

“Ah, fu-”

You shot him a glare that made him change courses immediately.

“-dge. Fudge.”

Millie clapped and gave him a big, approving smile.

“See, Mommy? He’s making progress!”

“Indeed he is, darling.”

“Oh, this is fucking hilarious!”

The young girl gasped, mouth open comically wide and utter betrayal swimming in her eyes.

“I thought you were nice.”

Sam realized his mistake as soon as she spoke, covering his mouth with his hand as if to stop any more of the offending words from leaving it.

“You owe five pounds.”

“What? Why? I only said one swear word!”

She shook her head in disapproval, arms crossed in front of her chest, and pushed the jar towards him.

“You made me believe you were nice so your trickster-y will cost you four extra pounds.”

You shook your head, smile firmly plastered on your face as you watched Sam pull out a hundred dollar bill with a pout on his lips. It was quite endearing, really.

“So, (Y/n), tell us about you.”

You locked eyes with the brunette once again, piercing gaze seemingly looking through you.

“I’m afraid there’s not much to tell, Mr Holland. I’m not a very interesting person.”

Your voice was soft, your words calculated. You knew that these men could kill you in the blink of an eye.

“No uninteresting person could have raised such a perfect little angel.”

He smirked and Millie looked at you with a smug smile.

“See, he said I was an angel.”

Life be damned, it’s not worth living if your daughter has an ego the size of Russia. That would most definitely come back to bite you in the ass.

“Yeah, that’s cause he hasn’t had to deal with you in all your nightly glory.”

She put her tongue out and snuggled deeper into Tom’s chest.

“Well, for one, how did you find yourself working here?”

He got the conversation back on you and you felt slightly intimidated with the whole table’s eyes on little old you.

“Customers are nice, I earn enough money for us to get by, owner’s nice, the school’s at the end of the street, and Millie gets to stay with me when she’s not there.”

Even though he was focused on you, you noticed the way he held your daughter close to his chest, his bigger frame completely enveloping her smaller one. She still hadn’t let go of his hand and kept playing with the ring on his finger. Seeing how calm and caring he was being with your daughter calmed you down and the more questions you answered, the more comfortable you became.

“How can you work at a dinner and not like vanilla milkshakes?”

Sam looked horrified at that, and you just shrugged dismissively.

“I never really liked when vanilla was too present. Like, if you used it to just enhance everything else you know, make it taste better, then sure, but just vanilla isn’t really my style.”

Tom took a sharp breath in and tried to stop his mind from wandering at the possible double meaning of your words. Instead, he chose to focus on the little girl on his lap.

Until he noticed she was asleep, that is.

He smiled a little and shifted her so she was resting more comfortably on his lap. Unfortunately for him, that caught your attention.

“Oh my, is she asleep? I’m really sorry.”

“No worries, though we should probably get her to bed so she doesn’t wake up with a stiff neck.”

For the umpteenth time, you pushed down the butterflies upon hearing him say 'we’ and being so careful with your daughter.

You took the remaining dishes and went to the kitchen, putting them in the wash and turning on the machine, leaving it to run so tomorrow morning you’d be able to put everything away. You went back in to clean the booth and Tom practically shoved a hundred dollar bill in your hand, ignoring your protests.

He waited for you by the door while you finished closing up, and you extended your arms towards him when you finished.

“Thank you for everything today, but you must be getting tired, I can take her from here.”

He gently pushed your arms down.

“Let me take you home, please, I don’t like the idea of you having to carry her all on your own.”

You hesitantly nodded and he guided you to his car. It’s only then that you noticed the other three had left. You settled on the passenger side of his black Audi and he handed you Millie, closing the door softly as to not startle her. He then entered the driver’s side and started the car. You gave him directions to your apartment building and within five minutes, he parked the car right out front.

Ever the gentleman, he insisted on carrying the little girl. Knowing by now that there wasn’t much you could do to protest, you agreed and led him up the four flights of stairs to your door.

“Sorry 'bout the mess.”

“It’s no problem, darling, I quite like it.”

You turned your head for a brief second, as if asking him to elaborate while still leading him to your daughter’s room.

“The fact that it’s messy means that someone lives here, that this isn’t just some house, it’s a home. My house is always pristine but that’s because no one’s ever there to actually use it as something other than a glorified B&B.”

He laid Millie down on the bed and you pulled the covers over her. You both stood side to side for a little while, just watching her breathe.

“That sounds really lonely.”

“Yeah…”

Another minute passed by with no words coming from either of you.

“You raised an amazing daughter, (Y/n).”

“You’re a good man, Tom.”

Hearing those unfamiliar words coming out of your mouth almost brought tears to his eyes. He was always used to being called a ruthless mobster, cold-blooded killer, or many other names that all meant the same thing: monster. But you called him a good man, and the sincerity in your voice was almost overwhelming.

He cleared his throat and straightened up, making you turn towards him.

“I should probably go… You should get some rest as well.”

You nodded and walked him to the door. In a split-second decision, you leaned up and kissed his cheek, locking eyes with him afterwards.

“If you ever need an escape, or just wanna hang out somewhere different, our door’s always open.”

That made a smile take over his face and he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you, darling.”

And as you watched him round the corner, only your back visible to you, you couldn’t help but feel like this wouldn’t be the last time you ever saw Tom Holland.

i have mixed feelings concerning this story but at least i have ideas for a part two (if i ever decide to make one)

don’t forget to reblog, comment or like if you feel like it <3

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