#i am made of meanwhiles - neither here nor there - neither soul nor scared

[arthur-r]

first song they played so i only hit record in the middle of it but here’s morning

#the best part of the song is from before i hit record :( #i am made of meanwhiles - neither here nor there - neither soul nor scared #and then it goes: drinking from the faucet - til the future comes <- first line within my recording #anyway good morning i’m kind of dedicating myself to this pursuit here #eventually the whole show will be in mp3 format on soundcloud and then i can die happy #in like. some years hopefully. but happiness before death is kind of ideal #like i don’t want to die happy i want to live happy. not that that’s a controversial opinion #idk guys i’m extremely tired so i’m just speaking #me. my post. mine. #poolboy bootlegs #also ignore my giggling at the end it was just. so good!!!! #if you were there you would have giggled hysterically too

[avehi-the-adamant]

Second Chances

By now, the Exodar had long served as a home for the Draenei. Having used it to flee their shattered and doomed territories on Draenor, the Exodar was a familiar comfort to many. But to Avehi, it was a stifling cradle which she had outgrown. Once she called it home, yes. But even before her ill-timed fate, the Exodar was never a place she wished to spend her days. It was a trap; the Prophet chose to remain to be among his people, and the skittish people remained to cling unto the Prophet. Why here? It was just a ship, after all; a vessel meant to translocate her people to a safer world. And it had… years ago. Her people weren’t meant to live in the wreckage of the vessel that brought them here! Now, the Exodar only served as a hive for those too scared or afraid to venture out further than the Isles. It had become a breeding ground for xenophobia and closed-mindedness. And the Death Knight found it abhorrent.

Returning was never pleasant; for that reason, and others. The irritating tinge of Light energies soaked into every stone and crystal felt irradiating to her now. It had been years now, since O’ros was destroyed here by the Legion. But his presence remained, permeated into the vessel itself. It was stifling. Avehi’s lips curled to an uncomfortable snarl as she paced through the metallic corridors. She’d come here with a purpose, but every step she took made her wonder whether or not it was worth the trouble. She had almost turned back twice, now. But both times, Raetos’ face flashed across her mind’s eye. His words echoing in her thoughts.

“He is actually sorry and apologetic for what he did…”

“He knows he did wrong. He died for it. The Grand Vindicator judged that he deserved a chance to repent and make amends… “

“Repentance means he learned and aims to do better…”

‘Damn it, Raetos…’ she thought to herself, in a huff. How could someone so dumb also be so wise? It didn’t help at all that he, himself, was living proof that a zealot could reform and better themselves. He was almost worse than Argonas was, when she first met him. Argonas at least treated her with a modicum of reverence for having perished in battle. Raetos, meanwhile, had insisted she hadn’t joined with the Light because her faith wasn’t strong enough. But he’d come so far since then; now, he was dating a Void Elf and lecturing her on not judging others by their practices and beliefs. She hated that he was right about Argonas-- he at least deserved a chance at repentance. And that’s why she was here.

Avehi stepped out into the Crystal Halls; of all the sections of the Exodar, this was her favorite. Serene and calming, without the blinding Light glaring down from every corner. No, it was a relaxing place, with reflecting pools and - as the name implied - softly-glowing purple and blue crystals. It reminded her of Shadowmoon Valley, and the time she spent there with her mother. Perhaps that was why it seemed to calm her irritations. As expected, she saw a familiar broad-shouldered figure kneeling beside one of the pools. She knew few Draenei as large in stature as Argonas; one of only a few mortals whose natural strength rivaled the unholy strength granted to her by virtue of undeath. She remembered learning that in their grapple when all of his interference first began…

--No, she pushed the thought from her mind! That train of thought was a slippery slope to changing the tone of this visit from forgiving to vindictive. That wasn’t why she was here.

“Argonas.” she called out, stopping a comfortable distance from him.

He turned, tail twitching as his name was called. Argonas stood as he looked at Avehi. He’d let himself go, it seemed-- generally he was very precise about his professional and clean appearance, trimming his hair and keeping clean-shaven. But now, he bore a thick beard, and the hair behind his crest was easily twice as long as usual, tied back into a loose ponytail. He wasn’t in his armor today; another deviation from his norm. Instead, he wore a simple sleeveless shirt and cotton-woven pants. Avehi peered at the runic scars etched into his arms. She’d heard of what happened to him in Tanaan… but had never seen the scars until now. Argonas approached, expression both hopeful and contrite. He bowed his head, stopping an arm’s length from Avehi.

“Sister… you bring news? Is it time?” he asked, a glint of determination in his tone.

Honestly, it had been some time since Argonas referred to Avehi as ‘Sister’. The honorific dealt between Draenei helped instill a sense of community and equality among one another. It wasn’t fitting to call your betters-- Argonas would never call the High Vindicator ‘Brother’, for example. But the act of not calling Avehi ‘Sister’ for so long was, admittedly, scornful. Petty, even. Just another of his wrongdoings for which he had to atone. He was still wary of Avehi, but no longer for the same reasons as before. He had seen what awaited the departed in the Maw. He bore witness to the horrors those killed and cast into it had to endure. Avehi was fighting to right those wrongs. He knew that now. What had him wary was Avehi’s demeanor in Arathi, as he was brought back. He was wary of the pain he’d caused her, knew full well that were their positions reversed… he’d be vengeful. Why wouldn’t she be?

Much to Argonas’ surprise, Avehi didn’t appear hostile. Her expression still bore the beginnings of a scowl, but somehow dulled. Softened. She didn’t seem as mad… more disappointed. Somehow it was worse.

“Not yet. Not for you.” Avehi replied, plainly. “I am not here with any news. Rather… to speak.”

“Speak?” Argonas blinked, confused.

“To… check on you.”

Avehi glanced away, tail flickering. This was harder than she had anticipated. Awkward and tense. She and Argonas had never been close, despite sharing similar experiences. Both were trained by High Vindicator Khanaros, but at separate times. They lived in separate regions on Draenor, and were assigned to different posts. Their lives had taken them down different paths, even along the same major events. When the Exodar crashed on Azeroth, Argonas mourned his fallen love while Avehi ventured out to deliver vengeance upon the elves that sabotaged their ship. And yet, for all their differences, they had similarities in their paths, too. Again, trained by Khanaros, who forged them into some of the best defenders of their people. Their parents were artisans, crafting weapons, armor, and tools from metal and crystal. And now, just as dying had opened Avehi’s eyes… it had opened Argonas’ eyes, too. Considering that helped to dissipate some of the tension.

“When I died and came back… it was shocking to me, as well.” she explained, her gaze meeting his again. “One of the short-comings of such a singular path, like how you and I were brought up, is that we never learned to deal with the reality that the sole path we’re taught doesn’t account for everything. For me, being raised as undead rather than joining with the Light, like I was promised, was more painful to me than when I actually died.”

Argonas was speechless; for the best. Listening seemed much more appropriate as Avehi opened up to him. He didn’t expect her to sympathize with him… or honestly, to even try. In all the time he’d known her, she’d never reached out to find any measure of common ground between them. Then again… neither did he. The two were so caught up in their differences, they never considered the experiences they shared. And now, of all things, dying was one of them.

“I suppose what I’m saying is… I know what you’re experiencing right now. Before I died, I was like you.” she went on. “I… looked down on anyone who did not incorporate the Light into their lives. But the Light alone can’t answer all the problems we face. History has proven that, too; the Krokul and shamanism helped us to heal the land and gain allies in the elements. The Demon Hunters, too, helped us return to Argus and join with our Lightforged kin to defeat the Legion. And now… those like me who are undead will lead us into the Shadowlands to fight for the souls of our people!”

She recoiled some at her own words-- not out of any disbelief or discomfort with them. But she hadn’t intended to lay on the point so heavily. As she well knew, Argonas was experiencing a crisis of identity. All he knew was altered. And it wasn’t an easy realization to accept. But she had hoped that, in highlighting truths she had learned, that he’d manage to cope with it better.

“You see that now, yes?” she asked, in a calmer tone. “The Light is one of many paths. And all paths have their uses.”

“I… know this.” Argonas nodded, brow furrowed slightly. “I have always known this. But… until now, I have always managed to accomplish what was needed through the Light. Even surviving on Argus was the Light’s doing. It delivered me from death. What bothers me is… I have never known why. I still do not. Why would the Light spare me, if there is nothing I can do for my people?”

“Nothing? Argonas…” Avehi frowned, shaking her head. “You are a Vindicator. A protector of our people. There is much you can do for our people. Those living, and those departed.”

She reached forward, placing her cold, plated hand on Argonas’ shoulder. Her lichfire eyes pierced his now, commanding his full attention-- and he gave it entirely to her, both wary and intrigued.

“You’ve learned much you would not have, had you died on Argus, yes? What good would you be to our people dead, trapped in the Maw?” she asked. “You want to know why the Light delivered you? To help deliver more of our people from that terrible fate. People like Sinafay.”

“--Y-Yes! Yes, I must save her!”

“We must save her. We must save all of our kin, Argonas. You would not know that, nor be equipped to, if you had died on Argus.”

She jostled him, emphasizing her point before pulling her hand back. With a nod, she stepped back from Argonas. His expression had changed to one of pure conviction. He peered back at Avehi, and returned the nod.

“You… are right. This affects not just Sinafay, but all our people. And I… I cannot make a difference myself. The Light can help, but I must get there, first. And that is what you can do, yes? That is what you and the Ebon Blade are working towards?”

“Mm. The time will come soon.” Avehi replied. “And when it does… you will come with me. We will redeem our trapped kin together.”

Standing tall and proud once more, Argonas grunted his affirmation. It seemed to be precisely what he needed-- a call to arms. A purpose. And Avehi was somehow glad to see his spirit lifted and his motivation restored. And now… toward a goal they shared. He smiled at Avehi, and bowed his head.

“Thank you, Avehi. I… know I have not treated you well in the past.” he apologized, sincerely. “I appreciate you including me in this important work, nonetheless. I am in your debt.”

Avehi shook her head, and returned the smile. She could tell Argonas was earnest in his contrition. She knew well what he was enduring. The pain he faced, and the resolve he needed to find purpose after such a traumatic shattering of his reality. It was something she needed once, too. Raetos’ words echoed once more in her mind; and she echoed them here now, to Argonas.

“Everyone deserves a second chance.”

#character stories #Avehi the Adamant #Argonas the Ironclad #Draenei #Vindicators #Warcraft #The Exodar #Raetos

[craftygoateeprincess]

ITinktober Day 8: Memory

The delectable scent of fear cascaded off the child in waves. Her brow furrowed in her sleep and she whimpered ever so softly, a barely voiced exhale in the silence of her bedroom, unaware of the monster standing at the foot of her bed.

Its deadlights shone through Pennywise’s eyes like a flashlight, turning redder by the second, as saliva pooled on his lower lip and dripped into a puddle on the floor. The child smelled divine. He couldn’t help but imagine sinking his teeth into her soft flesh. Her eyes would snap open, and oh, she would scream , but her parents wouldn’t hear. He would make sure of that. He would hold her down and suck the blood from her wounds while she screamed, still alive, still afraid. Yes, he would tear her apart slowly, little by little, piece by piece, milking as much of that delicious fear out of her feeble brain as he could before she died, alone and in agony. Only in the morning would her parents come and find what was left of their precious daughter. There would be no “Missing” signs for her. She would have a closed-casket funeral.

The visions flickered through Pennywise’s mind like broken neon lights, and for once, instead of all but forcing him to act upon his predatory urges, they made him sick. They made him sick because that was you lying there asleep, having a nightmare, scared and completely vulnerable.

And for some inexplicable reason, in spite of everything he was and was meant to be, he didn’t want anyone – not even himself – to hurt you.

He took one calculated step alongside your bed towards you, then another, as if one wrong move would be the one that snapped his resolve and resulted in your untimely demise. He had to bend at the waist to reach you. His hand was shaking as he stroked your cheek.

“Wake up, beautiful. It is only a nightmare. Wake up.” You awoke with a light gasp, eyes snapping open wide. Your eyes flashed with a sort of panicked relief when you saw your companion standing over you, and you sat up and through your arms around him. Your head barely reached his chest.

“Shh…” Pennywise smoothed your hair with one hand while the other came to rest on your back. Your grip around his waist was strong, and he felt a rush of undeserved pride.

You sniffed. 

“Why are you shaking?” Oh, what a good question, little one. How to answer? Honestly? Be honest and tell you that he was shaking from the sheer effort it took not to devour you? No. Instead, he told you, “I am upset that you are afraid.” It was not a lie. In fact, it was very much the truth. He hated that you were afraid, if only because it was next to impossible not to kill and eat you, and he knew he would regret that, later. He settled for tightening his grip on your delicate body and burying his nose in your hair to breathe in the scent.

You backed away, and he barely had the self-control to let you out of his grasp. You took his hand and looked up at him, eyes bright and pleading. 

“Will you stay with me?” He shouldn’t have, because you were never his to keep, but he knew in that moment that he couldn’t deny you anything. You needed him. And feeling needed felt surprisingly pleasant.

“What was your dream about?” he asked.

“It’s the same one I always have,” you explained. “There’s a monster, and I’m trying to get away, but it’s on top of me, and there’s blood…” You trailed off, gripping his hand a little harder.

He pulled you into his arms again. 

“That will never happen,” he said. “Not to you. You are mine, and I won’t let that happen.”

You smiled and murmured a sleepy “thank you,” already beginning to fall back asleep. You felt safe when Pennywise was with you, cuddling you like a teddy bear, having no idea what it was you trusted to hold you in your sleep.

 Now when you had nightmares there was no hand on your cheek, gently stroking your terrors away. There was no soft lilting voice whispering that it was just a nightmare, nor any cool arms to hold you and make you feel safe. It was just you and the increasingly empty expanse of your room, because as the years passed you’d found yourself hating all those familiar childhood things you did with pennywise, they only brought pain and bittersweet memories, even now, when you were sixteen years old and should long be over all those memories, anything that reminded you of him was still having to be thrown out.

Meanwhile your dad was only getting worse as the years went on. But as much as you were giving up hope that pennywise would ever ‘wake up’, you didn’t want to ruin the slim chance he truly intended to keep his promise and return, so you covered the bruises with makeup and put a smile on your face. You studied hard, you worked a part-time job at the movie theatre, you got a pet turtle, anything you could do to fill the empty void inside your soul that seemed to grow with each passing day you woke up alone...or well, not quite alone.

“Eleanore get yer ass down here and make breakfast,” Your legal name was Ellie, but apparently he didn’t care, he was gonna lengthen it out to sound fancy and intimidating. You wanted to shout back at him to stop being lazy and make his own breakfast, but you no longer had Penny to soothe your bruises and you’d already put on makeup for the day, so for the sake of everything you bit your lip and turned to your turtle's enclosure with a sad sigh.

“Have a good day Mister Turtle, let me know if you spy any red balloons will ya?” Red balloons and a daisy chain, the latter of which was probably long since wilted, were all you had for sure to recognize him by. After all, it had been eight years, surely he must look different now than you remembered him looking when you were a child.

You took the stairs two at a time as you hurried to make up for lost time, took your place at the stove, and started cooking. While cracking eggs in the pan a familliar memory clawed it’s way to the surface and you couldn’t help but smile.

 “Penny, dad’s not up yet and i’m hungry, can you make me food?” you had asked helplessly, back pressed against the wall with your head buried in your knees. Mom had passed away only two weeks ago, but life didn’t pause to give you and your dad time to mourn her, it kept moving on and you still had to live life. Of course, you could hardly blame your dad for wanting to lock himself away and not deal with life, but you hadn’t been taught how to care for youself yet and he was just tossing you to the wolves!

“I’ve never had to prepare my own food before….I tend to eat…..raw,” He confessed hesitently, on the one hand, wanting to laugh at his own joke, but on the other knowing it would ruin the illusion he was putting on for you. Still he wasn’t going to abandon you now, or worse, send you off to school hungry! So with a sigh he stood up and offered you his hand, causing you to look up at him quizzically.

“It sounds like you and I will have to learn together, whipping up a few eggs shouldn’t be hard, and should keep you until lunch right?” His offer was kind, and you could have weeped at such a gentle gesture. But you were running out of tears and didn’t want to make a fuss, so instead you just took his hand and the two of you went downstairs. Even at eight years old you were frustratingly short, but Penny was tall and happy to open the fridge and get eggs or find a chair for you to stand on. You watched hypnotized as the eggs which had looked disgusting before, meld into one big bubbling yellow goo that smelled delicious.

“I think it’s done, Penny! What do you think?” you ask excitedly, and slightly worriedly because you really should be going soon. Penny, who had strayed off looking (thirsting) after a couple of kids running towards school, made his way back to you and pressed a victorious kiss to your head.

“Looks good and smells good, great job beautiful!” he said happily. Penny, being an eldritch horror, knew nothing about how human meals were made. For goodness sakes he drank blood and ate flesh! The eggs smelled good, so he assumed that meant they were done, with no thought about how you ought to cook the other side too. As it was you scarfed down the eggs with a glass of milk, kissed him goodbye, and ran off to school.

At first your day was fine, you were proud of yourself for making breakfast, so was everyone you told, and other than your breath tasting a bit funny when you burped you felt fine. But as the hours creeped by till lunch you found yourself feeling less and less great. Then finally at eleven you bolted off to the bathroom and vomitted all the eggs up, alongside whatever remenants of the midnight snack penny had snuck you last night was left in your stomach. When the teachers found you like that they cleaned you up and sent you home for the day with food poisoning. You weren’t able to enjoy it, however, as you spent most of the day bent over the toilet, either dry heaving or throwing up what litle food you had managed to keep down in between ‘sessions’.

But all the while Pennywise was by your side, keeping your hair out of your face, wiping your brow, and apologizing profusely for ‘his’ stupid mistake. 

“Penny, it’s my fault too, and neither of us knew any better, I don’t love you any less,” you were beginning to notice that Penny had changed a lot since you met him two years ago, back then he was really reserved, and though silly, had never worried or fussed over you like he was doing now, and you’re not sure when it had started.

Just like he wasn’t sure when you had gone from an intriguing distraction to someone he loved.

“I love you too sweetheart, and papa is gonna take care of you until you’re all better,” he murmured as he settled down behind you, pulling you into his lap as he wiped your face clean and stroking your sweat-soaked hair while you rested against his chest.

 It should have been a terrible day to remember, but looking back, it always made you smile. You had been miserable and upset, but Pennywise was with you, he was always with you, and because of him the day still had some good points.

You weren’t sure if it was the wetness on your face or the alarm blaring that snapped you out of your daydreaming. But you wiped the tears and scraped the egg out onto a plate and put the plate on the table, the man could get his own damn silverware. While Penny had been caring for you like a father, he was locked up in his room drinking himself into a stupor, when Penny left and you cried for days, he beat you for being so annoying. The only reason you hadn’t run away was that you had promised Pennywise that you would wait for him here in Derry.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t still actively looking for that ‘moment’ Pennywise had whispered to you about on that warm summer afternoon. You had imagined several times about moments that could come up that you could take, like slipping some sleeping meds into his beer when you got it for him, or salting his movie popcorn with cyanide. You had never gone through with it though, for the same reasons you had never run away. You were too young back then, they would send you away to some orphanage and you wouldn’t be here for when Pennywise returned!

So instead you endured, every beating, every insult, you just reminded yourself of your reason for being here, that soon Pennywise would wrap you up in his arms, wash your bruises, bandage you up, and take you back to the flower fields where your biggest problem was running out of room on penny’s body to put a daisy chain. 

But today wasn’t that day, and you didn’t want to stick around and deal ith your father when he woke up, so you were skipping breakfast for the day, lunch was only a few hours away anyways, and thankfully you were never short on funds thanks to your part time job. So off you went into the cold, cruel world, the winter wind biting at your face. You didn’t want to be going out today, let alone to school or work, but it was part of the ‘mask’ you put on day to day. It kept anyone from paying you any mind. But today it felt like one thing after another was ruining your motivation to even bother getting to the bus stop. As if sensing your resolve flickering life set one more pebble onto the scale of your motivtion.

You looked up to find yourself on the corner of Neibolt Street and the wave of nostalgia hit you so hard you almost stumbled. As a child this had been your favorite place in the world, penny would take you here all the time to this old house everyone seemed to avoid like the plague, you never quite understood why though, even now. Sure it was a little run down and creaky, but the furniture was comfy and the house big…….perfect for the games of hide and seek you and penny would play together. You hadn’t stepped foot in the house since the day he left, while some memories were pleasant, the amount of memories in that single location threatened to overwhelm and break what little resolve you had to keep going on.

But as you stood there in indecision you felt a rush of wind as the bus trundled past and now you either had to run to get to the bus stop in time….or just casually turn the corner and fake sick for a day. The choice was made before you had the presence of mind to mentally sigh at the later consequences, you just wanted a day, a day to feel him again, to drown in that familiar warmth, and after that day, you would face whatever consequinces arose, not that you had much of a choice now, the school bus had long since picked up its passengers and trundled away, even if you changed your mind last minute, you’d be late and owe explanations.

So down the road you went, in the cold winter snows the daisies you were so familliar with laid dead and buried, but even from here you could see the house standing tall on it’s hill, the planters stuffed full with snow. Even while you and the rest of Derry seemed to grow and change, the house seemed so timeless, and as you opened the door and the scent of, what should be disgusting, mold and mildew hit you it felt like coming home. You could feel the old foundation creak and settle as you stepped up to the porch and pressed your forehead to the door, a familliar knot working it’s way up from your stomach into your throat.

“Hey Penny, you haven’t come over for awhile, so I came to play with you today,” you stated to the empty air, yanking the door open and stepping inside before you could back out of your decision. No one would look for you here, You would be safe for the day from the people outside, you could just...drown in your memories.

 “Ready or not, here I come!”

The house at 29 Neibolt Street was larger than it looked on the outside. Strange echoes cascaded down the staircases and along the halls, allowing any loud enough noise to fill the entire house. Such was the case for your bubbling laughter, brushing through the and dissipating in dark corners like clean water soaked up by a dingy sponge. Your little footsteps thumped against the wooden floors as you ran down the hall in search of your friend. Behind you, the hard tick of a grandfather clock. In front of you, the kitchen, where the ghostly tracks you made in the blanket of dust and grime on the floor would carry your memory for months.

Rats scurried away from you from and in every direction as you flung open the low cupboards one by one, squeaking their offense at your invasion of their privacy. In a few short years, the thought of wading on your hands and knees through dust and mouse shit would disgust you. At the time, at six years old, you barely noticed. You wiped the offending substances off on your coat and carried on.

The fridge, long unplugged and left to corrode, caught your eye. A flutter gripped your heart as you took the first step towards it, the residual voices that filled the house grew from a whisper to a roar in your ears as you took the second. Your stomach flipped when your hand settled over the handle. You held your breath as you threw open the door to reveal…grimy shelves, empty except for the inconsequential carcass of a bug your young mind could not identify. You closed the door.

Making your way back through the hallway, you were drawn to a door you had never been through before. An unexplored part of his house – the perfect place to hide!

The door, once opened, revealed a staircase that descended down into the Earth. You took each step carefully, gripping the splintered railing on your left that was almost as tall as you were. The hollow, wooden stairs snarled beneath you as you placed one foot, then the other on each one.

The lack of light shining through the milky windows near the ceiling reminded you how late it was getting, but it was okay. Your parents always told you never to go out at night without an adult, but Pennywise was an adult.

At that point, there had been an Amber Alert out for you for an hour.

In the basement, your game of Hide-and-Seek was forgotten, as your attention was captured by the ring of stone in the center of the floor. You approached at a casual pace, and when you reached the well, you got up on your tippy-toes to peer down into it. You couldn’t even see the bottom!

“Hello?” you called down.

“Hello? Hello? Hello?” your voice echoed back.

Your scream echoed just as loudly as two large hands grabbed your shoulders, yanking you back and spinning you around. You found yourself facing a very stern looking Pennywise, who bent at the waist to come closer to your eye level.

“Be careful with that, Ellie,” he warned. “We wouldn’t want you to fall, now would we?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I wasn’t going to fall!” you insisted. “I was just looking.”

“Insolent child,” he growled. “Do you not trust me to know what’s best for you?”

You didn’t like it when he got angry. He always made you feel bad, when he was angry.

You dropped your arms. “I trust you.”

“Welllll then...” A smooth grin stretched his lips. “I guess you found me. Now, it’s your turn to hide.” He tapped your nose with the tip of his finger on the word ‘your.’

“Close your eyes! No peeking!” you commanded, grinning back.

Pennywise made a show of tilting back up to his full height and covering his eyes with his gloved hands. “Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven…”

You ran as fast as your little legs could take you back up the stairs, then up another set. You could hear him nearing the end of his countdown – you could hear him no matter where you were in the house – as you dashed down a hallway. Your feet barely touched the floor.

You found yourself in a room that was empty except for a forest green armchair. The very last rays of sunlight from the day glowed through a mostly boarded up window.

“Ready or not, here I come!”

You looked around frantically and smiled to yourself when you saw a closet door resting halfway open. You hurried inside and closed the door, filling your eyes with soft, inky black. You couldn’t see a single thing.

You settled yourself down on the floor and listened for your friend’s approach, noticing perhaps for the first time all year that it was beginning to get very cold. Your winter coat was hardly enough to protect you from the bite. The stuffiness of the closet, holding in your body heat, was welcome.

You felt around the closet and curled up in the corner, leaning your head against the wall, putting up the hood of your coat to use as padding. You could hear the soft jingling of bells as Pennywise moved about the house, muttering the occasional, “Oh my, where could she be?” That made you smile and giggle to yourself.

You loved him, but even more than that, you trusted him. You were sparing a passing thought to how much you loved him when your world shifted.

Pennywise was sitting in the green armchair, cradling you like a baby. You looked around, confused.

“I found you,” Pennywise giggled, “all curled up and asleep in the closet.”

“Oh,” you murmured, upset that you had fallen asleep during your game but too comfortable and sleepy to pay much mind to any of your emotions. You looked towards the door. “I’m tired. We should go home.”

Pennywise pouted. “This is home. This is my home. We’re having a sleepover.”

You looked towards the door again, and you thought of your parents. You hadn’t told them you would be out all night, or out at all.

“Ah,” Pennywise said, reading your mind, ��but you’re with an adult.”

You were so tired, you just wanted to go to sleep.

“I will keep you safe.”

You felt safe.

“Don’t you trust me, Ellie?”

You trusted him.

“Okay,” you agreed, yawning. “But I want to go to sleep now.”

Pennywise smiled. “Go to sleep, then.”

You snuggled into him, and he gently petted your hair.

“You are beautiful,” he said.

His mouth didn’t move when he said it, and you thought that was weird, but you were just too tired. You let your eyes close. There had been an Amber Alert out for you for two and a half hours.

You didn’t remember walking to the living room, or curling up in the old armchair. But by the time the memory cleared from your mind you were there, nose buried in the mattress like the scent wasn’t disgusting, instead, it just felt like you were home, like penny had you curled up in his arms and was stroking you, keeping all your fears and worries at bay, because you felt safe with him. And even when he wasn’t here, his memories with you were so strong in this house that you felt as though he were here.

#itinktober #inktober2019 #inktober

[annedechateaubrouc]

Our Lady of Fatima: Apparitions

“My Immaculate Heart will be your refuge, and the way that will lead you to God.”

-Our Lady of Fatima, June 13th 1917

Previous post ➽   The Angel of Portugal’s apparitions

The Apparitions of Our Lady

I. The first apparition

II. Saint Anthony’s feast day

III. The vision of hell

IV. The prison

V. The cure and the sacrifices

VI. The miracle of the sun 

VII. Collection of pictures

I. May 13th 1917, the first apparition

 Lucia Dos Santos and her two cousins, Francisco and Jacinta Marto, took their sheeps to graze outside of Fatima, Cova da Iria. As they were playing together, a flash lighted up the sky. They gathered their sheeps quickly, thinking a storm was brewing in the distance. A second flash them to jump, then, a beautiful young woman appeared a few meters away from them, on a holm oak. She was dressed in white, more brilliant than the sun. Her face, indescribably beautiful, and was neither sad nor happy, but serious with an air of mild reproach. Her hands, joined together as if she were praying, were resting at her breast and pointing upward. A rosary hung from her right hand.

Our Lady: Do not be afraid; I will not harm you.

Lucia: Where is Your Grace from?

Our Lady: I am from heaven

Lucia: And what does Your Grace wish of me?

Our Lady: I have come to ask you to come here for six months in succession on the thirteenth day of each month at this same hour. Later I will tell you who I am and what I want. Afterward, I will return here a seventh time.

Lucia: And will I go to heaven, too?

Our Lady: Yes, you will.

Lucia: And Jacinta?

Our Lady: Also.

Lucia: And Francisco?

Our Lady: Also, but he must say many rosaries.

Lucia: Is Maria das Neves already in heaven?

Our Lady: Yes, she is.

Lucia: And Amélia?

Our Lady: She will be in purgatory until the end of the world. Do you wish to offer yourselves to God to endure all the sufferings that He may be pleased to send you, as both an act of reparation for the sins with which He is offended and an act of supplication for the conversion of sinners?

Lucia: Yes, we do.

Our Lady: Well then, you will have much to suffer. But the grace of God will be your comfort

Then, She disappeared.

Lucia told her two cousins to not tell anyone about the apparition. Maybe due to Jacinta’s  young age, she revealed the secret to her mother, who thought her daughter was imagining stories. After a while, her father, Ti Marto, came to believe her story.

Meanwhile in Lucia’s home, she was suffering greatly. Her mother, Maria Rosa, was extremely angered by her daughter. She believed that the young Lucia was blasphemous and that she had sinned gravely. She was mocked by her family and her friends. When Jacinta was informed, she felt terrible. She asked her cousin for forgiveness, Lucia immediatly forgave her.

The three children talked amongst themselves about the apparition and reflected deeply on Her message. Francisco came up with the idea of giving their lunches to their sheeps, as a sacrifice for the conversion of sinners. They also deprived themselves of water, during long hot summer days.

Maria Rosa felt embarrassed by her daughter, she was scared that the story would spread in the village. So she asked her Parish Priest, Fr. Manuel, to pressure Lucia to recant it.

The Priest listened carefully and questioned her a lot, which caused Lucia to start doubting what she had seen. Which was one of the worst ordeals she had to deal with.

II. June 13th 1917, St Anthony of Padua’s feast day

During the afternoon, even though there were festivities going on in the village, the three children headed off to the Cova. There, they found a small crowd waiting for them. They decided to pray the Rosary with the people who were present. After doing so, the lightening flashed and the Lady appeared on the holm oak, like in May. Lucia spoke to her:

Lucia: Tell me, what does Your Grace wish of me?

Our Lady: I want you to come here on the thirteenth of next month. I want you to continue saying the Rosary every day. And after each one of the mysteries, my children, I want you to pray in this way: O my Jesus, forgive us our sins , save us from the fire of hell. Take all souls to heaven, especially those who are most in need. I want you to learn to read and write, and later I will tell you what else I want of you.

(Lucia asks for the cure of a sick person)

Our Lady: If he is converted, he will be cured during the year.

Lucia: Will you take us to heaven?

Our Lady: Yes, I shall take Jacinta and Francisco soon, but you will remain a little longer, since Jesus wishes you to make me known and loved on earth. He wishes also for you to establish devotion in the world to my Immaculate Heart. 

Lucia: Must I remain in the world alone?

Our Lady: Not alone, my child, and you must not be sad. I will be with you always, and my Immaculate Heart will be your refuge and the way which will lead you to God.

Lucia later wrote: As Our Lady spoke these last words, she opened her hands and for the second time, she communicated to us the rays of that immense light. We saw ourselves in this light, as it were, immersed in God. Jacinta and Francisco seemed to be in that part of the light which rose towards Heaven, and I in that which was poured out on the earth.In front of the palm of Our Lady’s right hand was a heart encircled by thorns which pierced it..We understood that this was the Immaculate Heart of Mary, outraged by the sins of humanity, and seeking reparation.You know now, Your Excellency, what we referred to when we said that Our Lady had revealed a secret to us in June. At the time, Our Lady did not tell us to keep it a secret, but we felt moved to do so by God.

The small crowd, although they had not perceived our Lady herself, had seen a few things such as the lightening, a certain dimming of the sun or a little grey cloud that came and went. They believed and truly converted.

This second apparition alarmed even more the children’s families, especially their mothers. The two women understood that the rumors of the apparition were expanding through Fatima, and maybe even outside of it. Plus, the Parish Priest started to believe that it was truly real, but maybe of demonic origins.

III. July 13th1917, the vision of hell

As they arrived to the Cova, the three children saw a large number of people praying the Rosary. Soon enough, there was flash of lightening and the Lady appeared above the holm oak. Mr. Marto, who was there too, noticed a small greyish cloud hovered the tree and that a breeze started to blow:

Lucia: what does Your Grace wish of me?

Our Lady: I want you to come here on the 13th of next month, to continue to pray the Rosary every day in honor of Our Lady of the Rosary, in order to obtain peace for the world and the end of the war, because only she can help you. 

Lucia: I would like to ask you to tell us who you are, and to work a miracle so that everybody will believe that you are appearing to us. 

Our Lady: Continue to come here every month; in October, I will tell you who I am and what I want and I will perform a miracle for all to see and believe. Sacrifice yourselves for sinners and say many times, especially whenever you make some sacrifice: “O Jesus, it is for the love of you, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

I. The vision of hell

Lucia later wrote:

As Our Lady spoke these last words, she opened her hands once more, as she had done during the two previous months. The rays of light seemed to penetrate the earth, and we saw as it were a sea of fire. Plunged in this fire were demons and souls in human form, like transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze, floating about in the conflagration, now raised into the air by the flames that issued from within themselves together with great clouds of smoke, now falling back on every side like sparks in huge fires, without weight or equilibrium, amid shrieks and groans of pain and despair, which horrified us and made us tremble with fear. (It must have been this sight which caused me to cry out, as people say they heard me.) The demons could be distinguished by their terrifying and repellant likeness to frightful and unknown animals, black and transparent like burning coals. This vision lasted but an instant. How can we ever be grateful enough to our kind heavenly Mother, who had already prepared us by promising, in the first Apparition, to take us to heaven. Otherwise, I think we would have died of fear and terror.”

II. The chastisement

Our Lady: You have seen hell where the souls of poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to establish devotion to my Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many souls will be saved and there will be peace. The war is going to end; but if people do not cease offending God, a worse one will break out during the Pontificate of Pius XI. When you see a night illumined by an unknown light, know that this is a great sign given to you by God that He is about to punish the world for its crimes, by means of war, famine, and persecutions of the Church and of the Holy Father.

III. Russia’s errors and needed conversion

Our Lady: To prevent this, I shall come to ask for the consecration of Russia to my Immaculate Heart, and the Communion of Reparation on First Saturdays. If my requests are heeded, Russia will be converted, and there will be peace; if not, she will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be martyred, the Holy Father will have much to suffer, various nations will be annihilated. In the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph. The Holy Father will consecrate Russia to me, and she will be converted, and a period of peace will be granted to the world. In Portugal, the dogma of the Faith will always be preserved. Do not tell this to anybody. Francisco, yes, you may tell him. When you pray the Rosary, say after each mystery: “O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need.”

Lucia: Is there anything Your Grace wish of me?

Our Lady: No, I do not want anything more of you today.

IV. August 13th-19th 1917, the prison

On August 13th, the three children were unable to come to the Cova da Iria to meet our Lady. They had been kidnapped by the mayor of a neighbouring village who wanted to know the secret of the third apparition. He imprisoned them and threatened to plunge them in boiling oil. But they held fast.

Our Lady certainly appeared at the Cova, but didn’t find the three children. People explained that they saw a cloud hover the holm oak for a few minutes.

After they were released from prison, on August 19th, Lucia was with Francisco and another cousin at Valinhos. Around 4 o’clock in the afternoon, the temperature started to cool down suddenly. Lucia sensed that something was going to happen, she sent someone to get Jacinta, who arrived on time when our Lady appeared:

Lucia: What does Your Grace wish of me?

Our Lady: I want you to continue going to the Cova da Iria on the thirteenth day of each month and to continue praying the Rosary every day. On the last month, I will perform a miracle for all to believe. (She started to look sad) If they had not taken you to Ourém, the miracle would have been even greater.

Lucia: What does Your Grace want done with the money that people leave at Cova da Iria?

Our Lady: Have two portable stands made. You and Jacinta with two other girls dressed in white carry one of them, and let Francisco with three other boys carry the second one. The portable stands are for the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. The money that is left over should be contributed to the chapel they shall build.

Lucia: I would like to ask you for the healing of some sick persons.

Our Lady: Yes, I will cure some during the year. (She looked very sad) Pray, pray a lot, and offer up sacrifices for sinners; many souls go to hell because there is no one to offer up sacrifices and pray for them.

V. September 13th 1917, the cure and sacrifices

The three children left their home to go to the Cova. As they arrived, they saw an enormous crowd of people, about 20.000, waiting for them. Some climbed up trees to see the three seers making their way to the Cova with difficulty. Others reached to them, falling on their knees, and begged them to place their petitions before our Lady. A few people, who were far from the children, shouted from the distance:

“For the love of God, ask Our Lady to cure my son who is a cripple!”

“And cure mine who is blind!”

“Cure mine who is deaf!”

“Ask her to bring back my husband! And my son who has gone to war!”

And many other petitions.

Lucia later wrote: I give thanks to God, offering Him the faith of our good Portuguese people, and I think: “If these people so humbled themselves before three poor children, just because they were mercifully granted the grace to speak to the Mother of God, what would they not do if they saw Our Lord Himself in person before them?” Well, none of this was called for here! It was a distraction of my pen, leading me away where I did not mean to go.

Once they arrived at the Cova da Iria, near the holm oak, they prayed the Rosary with the crowd. The same phenomenons from the previous apparitions happened before the eyes of the thousands of people: the air suddenly cooled, the sun dimmed to the point where the stars could be seen, and a rain resembled iridescent petals or snowflakes that disappeared before touching the ground.

Then, with the usual flash of light, our Lady appeared on the holm oak.

Our Lady: Continue to pray the Rosary in order to obtain the end of the war. In October Our Lord will come, as well as Our Lady of Sorrows and Our Lady of Carmel, Saint Joseph will appear with the Child Jesus to bless the world. God is pleased with your sacrifices. He does not want you to sleep with the rope on, but only to wear it during the daytime.

Lucia: I was told to ask you many things, the cure of some sick people, of a deaf-mute…

Our Lady: Yes, I will cure some, but not others. In October I will perform a miracle so that all may believe.

She began to rise and disappeared.

VI. October 13th 1917, the miracle of the sun

Rain fell profusely that day. The three children and Lucia’s mother, who came because she was uncertain of what would actually happen, decided to leave early, knowing that there were going to be many people at the Cova da Iria and nearby places. And they were right. An enormous crowd, 70.000 people, was outside, some kneeling in the muddy ground.

Once they arrived in front of the holm oak, Lucia asked to everyone to close their umbrellas and to pray the Rosary. As they did, a light flashed and our Lady appeared:

Lucia: What does Your Grace wish of me?

Our Lady: I wish to tell you that I want a chapel built here in my honor. I am the Lady of the Rosary. Continue to pray the rosary every day. The war is going to end, and the soldiers will soon return to their homes.

Lucia: I have many things to ask you: if you would cure some sick persons, and if you would convert some sinners...

Our Lady: Some yes, but not others, they must amend their lives and ask forgiveness for their sins.

Then, she started to look sad and added:

Our Lady:  Do not offend the Lord our God any more, because He is already so much offended.

Then opening her hands, she made them reflect on the sun, and as she ascended, the reflection of her own light continued to be projected on the sun itself.

Lucia: Look at the sun!

Three scenes followed, Jacinta and Francesco could only see the first one.

The first:

It was the Holy Family, Saint Joseph and Our Lady (who appeared as Our Lady of The Rosary) were dressed in white but the Child Jesus was dressed in light red.  Christ and St. Joseph blessed the crowd by making the sign of the Cross three times.

The second:

It was Our Lord and Our Lady of Sorrows on their way to the Calvery. They were both overwhelmed with sorrow and sadness. Christ blessed the crowd again.

The third:

Our Lady of Mount Carmel, appeared holding gloriously holding the Child Jesus near Her Heart.

While Lucia was seeing the visions, the crowd observed odd phenomenons. The grey clouds parted, making the rain stop. They watched the sun, which looked like a silver disk, spin rapidly as it “danced” around the sky. Then it stopped momentarily, only to begin spinning vertiginously again. Its rim became scarlet; whirling, it scattered red flames across the sky.Their light was reflected on the ground, on the trees, on the bushes, and on the faces and clothing of the people, which took on brilliant hues and changing colors.After performing this bizarre pattern three times, the globe of fire seemed to tremble, shake, and then plunge in a zigzag toward the terrified crowd.All this lasted about ten minutes. Finally, the sun zigzagged back to its original place and once again became still and brilliant, shining with its normal brightness. The cycle of the apparitions had ended.

VII. Collection of pictures:

#fatima #our lady #virgin mary #apparition #fatima apparitions #may #month of mary #month of may #our lady of fatima #our lady of sorrows #our lady of mount carmel #carmel #carmelite #portugal #Jesus loves you #lord jesus christ #catholiscism #catholic #Jesus Christ #Christ #Christianity #catholic church #roman catholic #rosary #our lady of the rosary

[spectralhearts-blog]

THE NIGHT HAS A THOUSAND EYES ; a selection of soundtracks for k. s.

organized chronologically (within) & thematically (in general)

for v.f.d. —

library magic - the head and the heart can’t stay healthy in the cloud of eyes / listening to my every move, just trying to survive / self-imposed adventure that selfishness drives / i can barely keep my head above the blue, trying to keep it off me and you... the easier to begin and hard to end / i’m just glad to go through it all with you as friends

any way the wind blows - anais mitchell no use use talking of a past that's past / set out walking and we don't look back / where we're going there ain't no one knows

youth - daughter and if you’re still bleeding, you’re the lucky ones / ‘cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone

earth - sleeping at last i dig ‘til my shovel tells a secret, swear to the earth that i will keep it / brush off the dirt, and let my change of heart occur... meanwhile, my family’s taking shelter / the sparks send the fire down the wire / a countdown begins until the dynamite gives in / the echo, as wide as the equator / travels through a world of built-up anger - too late to pull itself together now

the stranger at my door - brandi carlile we exorcise the demons of the things we used to know / the gnashing of their teeth becomes the remnants of our homes / we think we’re moving on from materials we long / to forget we ever sold our souls to own... but nothing scares me more / than the stranger at my door who i failed / to give shelter, time, and worth

everybody knows - sigrid everybody knows that it’s coming apart / take one last look at this sacred heart before it blows

closing in - ruelle i used to see in color; now it’s just a wave of gray / i feel it pull me under, drowning in the disarray

for dewey —

all i’ve ever known - original cast of hadestown all i’ve ever known is how to hold my own / but now i wanna hold you too / you take me in your arms, and suddenly there’s sunlight all around me / everything bright and warm and shining like it never did before / and for a moment i forget / just how dark and cold it gets

salvation - gabrielle aplin you are the avalanche one world away / my make-believing while i’m wide awake / just a trick of light to bring me back around again... i never meant to fall for you, but i was buried underneath / and all that i could see was white

chasing cars - the wind and the wave i don’t quite know how to say how i feel / those three words are said too much, they’re not enough... forget what we’re told / before we get too old / show me a garden that’s bursting into life

flood - the goo goo dolls (ft. sydney sierota) i wanna see what you see in me and never let you down... i had a dream you were next to me, i woke up calling your name / can you still feel my love? / i wanna be something you can touch; you’re moving fast, but i’m catching up / no, don’t slow down, my love

21 days - scott helman if a cardboard castle is all we have love, we could make it sweet / i wanna live with you in a cardboard castle / i know it won’t last but neither will we

this love - taylor swift clear blue water, hide tide came and brought you in... skies grew darker, currents swept you out again / and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone... been losing grip on sinking ships, you showed up just in time

running after you - matthew mole we’ll come back home, we’ll come back home someday / but right now we are called to see a place / where you and i will change the world we know / anywhere that i’m with you is home

for beatrice —

light - sleeping at last may these words be the first to find your ears / the world is brighter than the sun now that you’re here... i’ll give you everything i have, i’ll teach you everything i know... i will soften every edge, i’ll the hold the world to its best / and i’ll do better / with every heartbeat i have left i will defend your every breath

look after you - aron wright when you get knocked down and you’ve had enough / oh, i’ll be there to dust you off / when you don’t know what you’re gonna do / i will look after you

you were born - cloud cult oh my precious, oh my love / when they come to take me i will hold you from above / i don’t know why we’re here, and i don’t know how / but i’m here with you now, i am here with you now

it’s quiet uptown - kelly clarkson there are moments that the words don’t reach / there is suffering too terrible to name / you hold your child as tight as you can, then push away the unimaginable

when i’m with you - jj heller when i see you and you’re smiling, how my heart aches / so full it is about to break... i could never count all the ways that you change me, baby

forest fire - brighton oh, i hope you know / that you’re my home / but now i’m lost, so lost... i keep imagining those flames that did rise and blackened up the sky

safe inside - james arthur ‘cause i worry about you the whole night / don’t repeat my mistakes / i won’t sleep until you’re safe inside... is it time to let go now you’re older

for n.y.c. —

where do we go from here? - ruelle there’s no place to call our own, like a drifting haze we roam / where do we go from here? where do we go from here?

leave the light on - overcoats i may break down if i let you look at me / now you see me, now you don’t / going, going fast as i can... what if i don’t make it home? / you’re not there, and the light’s not on

i’ll be good - jaymes young for all the innocent things that i doubt / for all the bruises i’ve caused, and the tears / for all the things i’ve done all these years / for all the sparks that i stomped out / for all the perfect things i doubt / i’ll be good, i’ll be good / and i’ll love the world like i should

high hopes - kodaline when it all comes to an end, but the world keeps spinning around / and in my dreams i meet the ghosts of all the people who’ve come and gone / memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon / naïve, i was just staring at the barrel of a gun

in our bedroom after the war - stars listen, the birds sing / listen, the bells ring / all the living are dead, and the dead are living / the war is over and we are beginning... we won, or we think we did / when you went away, you were just a kid / and if you lost it all, and you lost it / well, we’ll still be there when your war is over

resolution - matt corby you said don’t lie so i made the truth / seemed like a lie to even you / control your fear, it’s clear / that you do not know where you’re going to... turn around, put it down and see / that this is really the place to be / i’m not you, nor you me / but we’re both moving steady

we don’t eat - james vincent mcmorrow there’s nothing to mention, and nothing has changed / still, i’d rather be working at something than praying for the rain / so i wander on until someone else is saved... have i been good to you at all? oh, i’m so tired of playing these games / we’d just be running down the same old lines, the same old stories / of breathless trains and worn-down glories / houses burning, worlds that turn on their own

for o. —

meadows - wild child low tide but rising fast, we’ll all die so nothing lasts / all i know is that you make me laugh babe / so i’ll go down with you

the night we met - lord huron take me back to the night we met / and then i can tell myself what the hell i’m supposed to do / and then i can tell myself not to ride along with you / i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you... i don’t know what i’m supposed to do / haunted by the ghost of you

say something - alex & sierra it was over my head; i know nothing at all / i will stumble and fall / i’m still learning to love, just starting to crawl / say something, i’m giving up on you / i’m sorry that i couldn’t get to you

silhouettes - of monsters and men it’s hard letting go / i’m finally at peace, but it feels wrong... there’s nothing that i’d take back / but it’s hard to say there’s nothing i regret

no fight left - jj heller there is no fight left on the inside / but maybe that’s where i should be / i’ve given up trying, i’m giving it all to you

thistle & weeds - mumford & sons i begged you to hear me, there’s more than flesh and bones / let the dead bury their dead, they will come out in droves / but take the spade from my hands and fill in the holes you’ve made... plant your hope with good seeds, don’t cover yourself with thistle and weeds

you’re somebody else - flora cash well, you look like yourself but you’re somebody else / only it ain’t on the surface / well, you talk like yourself - no, i hear someone else, though / now you’re making me nervous

#>> ꜰɪʟᴇ:// snicket‚ k. └ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ʜᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴛʜᴏᴜꜱᴀɴᴅ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ┐ #>> ꜰɪʟᴇ:// snicket‚ k. // development #/ yeets self into activity by publishing the fruits of hyperfixation #/ yes there are 5 separate lists yes they were wheedled down grudgingly from a Longer Assortment #/ forever frustrated that i haven't been able to amalgamate anything for snicket siblings #/ too many Nice Sibling songs where's the content for when ur kind of a shit sibling

[blessedarticles-blog]

Why Some Sons Find It Difficult To Honour

1. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they are not following Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ was preceded by John the Baptist. John the Baptist was in the ministry before Jesus came along. The Lord honoured him greatly, submitting Himself to him for baptism. This is exactly what many ministers cannot do. They do not honour the people that are ahead of them, especially if they live in the same city.

Seven Reasons Why Jesus Could Have Despised

John the Baptist

1. Jesus had good reasons not to honour John the Baptist. Jesus Christ was the Son of God. Jesus Christ was in the beginning and all things were made by Him and through Him. John the Baptist was just another of God’s creatures. How could Jesus Christ the creator bow down or submit himself to a mere human?

2. John the Baptist was not worthy to even untie the shoelaces of Jesus, much less to baptise Him. And as the people were in expectation, and all men mused in their hearts of John, whether he were the Christ, or not; John answered, saying unto them all, I indeed baptize you with water; but one mightier than I cometh, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to unloose: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire: Whose fan is in his hand, and he will throughly purge his floor, and will gather the wheat into his garner; but he chaff he will burn with fire unquenchable. Luke 3:15-17

3. John’s lifestyle was questionable. He wore skimpy panties to preach and lived in the desert.

In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea, And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Esaias, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. And the same John had his raiment of camel’s hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey. Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan, and were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

Matthew 3:1-6

4. John the Baptist seemed to be delving into politics and was in direct confrontation with the government of the day.

5. John the Baptist’s ministry had ended abruptly with him being executed like a common criminal.

But Jesus respected John the Baptist. He acknowledged him and went to his church. Jesus submitted Himself to the ministry of John the Baptist.

Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. But John forbad him, saying, I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me? And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. Then he suffered him.

Matthew 3:13-15

6. John the Baptist did not have a miracle ministry. Jesus spoke highly of John the Baptist even though He did miracles which John the Baptist didn’t do.

And as they departed, Jesus began to say unto the multitudes concerning John, What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind? But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses. But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? yea, I say unto you, and more than a prophet. For this is he, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.

Matthew 11:7-10

7. John the Baptist did not have powerful teachings like Jesus.

Jesus preached a different kind of message from John but acknowledged the greatness and relevance of John the Baptist.

Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: notwithstanding he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.

Matthew 11: 11

After Jesus had submitted Himself to the ministry of John the Baptist, a voice from Heaven said, “This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.” Jesus had not won any souls when He received this appellation –“this is my beloved son”! All He did was to submit Himself to someone ahead of Him in ministry. This is an important point for those who love to fight anything older or bigger than they are. 2. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they do not follow the example of King David. King David acknowledged Saul as being the anointed king before him. Even though Saul had many problems, David did not attack him. He called him “father”. David did not call Saul “the mad man of Jerusalem”. He called him the Lord’s anointed. He did not call him the “demonized king”or “demonized daddy”. That is why his throne of David will be established forever.

He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:

Luke 1:32

There are four things about Saul that would have driven any normal son to rebel against his father. But not David, he knew better. He knew the verse in Exodus 20:12; that his longevity depended on how he related to the fathers.

David Had Four Reasons Not to Honour Saul 1. Saul was rejected by God through the prophet Samuel. ...Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

1 Samuel 15:23b

2. Saul was demon-possessed. He came under the influence of evil spirits and David knew it.

And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand.

1 Samuel 18:10

3. Saul killed pastors. He had become a murderer and his victims were none other than God’s priests.

And Abiathar shewed David that Saul had slain the LORD’s priests.

1 Samuel 22:21 4. Saul was into witchcraft. His last night on earth was spent in a witch’s house.

Then said Saul unto his servants, Seek me a woman that hath a familiar spirit, that I may go to her, and enquire of her. And his servants said to him, Behold, there is a woman that hath a familiar spirit at Endor.

1 Samuel 28:7

In spite of great provocation, David maintained his stance toward Saul. He refused to see him as anything other than a father. There are many ignoramuses who launch furious attacks against fathers because of the faults they see in them. Why not learn from David whose throne is established forever? Surely you do not have more good reasons than David did, to rebel against a father!

Moreover, my father, see, yea, see the skirt of thy robe in my hand: for in that I cut off the skirt of thy robe and killed thee not, know thou and see that there is neither evil nor transgression in mine hand, and I have not sinned against thee; yet thou huntest my soul to take it.

1 Samuel 24:11

3. People find it difficult to honour fathers because their hearts are TURNED AWAY from their fathers.

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Malachi 4:6

There is a time when sons are not interested in what their fathers do. These sons are interested in the exact opposite of whatever their fathers desire. This is a condition that leads to a curse. There are many examples of this. For instance, if a father is a university lecturer, the son may say in his heart, “I do not want to be a university lecturer.” If the father is a politician and the heart of the son is turned away from his father, the son may grow up secretly deciding never to have anything to do with politics. Similarly, the father may be a pastor in the ministry and the son will say things like, “I want to be a lawyer or an astronaut but not a pastor.” All these are as a result of the hearts of the children being turned away from the father.

It is important to pray for your child so that his heart will be turned to his father. When children’s’ hearts are turned away from their fathers, they become independent and rebellious.

The Pastor’s Daughter

Once, I was with a pastor’s family and I got to talking with his daughter. As I chatted with her, she related how she was studying for her law degree. Her plans were for a corporate job in the corporate world. Meanwhile, her father was pastoring a great church with thousands of people but she had no interest in what he was doing.

A couple of years later, I came back to that city and was chauffeured around by this same pastor’s daughter. This time all she talked about was the ministry. I wondered where her legal dreams had disappeared to. There was no more talk of the corporate world. It was just God and His work.

So I told her, “You have changed! I think a real change has come over you in relation to God and the ministry.” So I asked again, “Have you changed?” She responded, “Yes, I have.” I told her, “I noticed it the moment I interacted with you. The last time I was here, you were very different from what you are now.” She nodded, “That’s true.” Then she confessed to me, “I have always wanted to stay away from ministry life. Our family suffered so much because of the ministry and I never wanted to be in it. I can’t even understand why I have changed so much.” She added, “I am scared of my new interest in ministry. All I want to do is to travel with my father and help him in the ministry.”

But I understood what had happened to her. God had turned the heart of the child towards the father to avoid a curse. The turning of the heart is a spiritual thing and only God can do it. It is important for parents to pray for their children otherwise their hearts will be turned away from all that is good and recommended by parents.

Turning the Father’s Heart

There are also times when the father loses interest in his sons. This usually happens when the father is hurt or disillusioned with his children. It brings a curse on the children because they are left without any fatherly input. One day, one of my lay pastors who had been out of the country for some years came home. Before he left the country, he confided in another pastor. He said, “I think the Bishop has lost interest in some of us.” I just feel that he is not as interested in us as he used to be.” I was surprised that he was able to quickly pick that up because he was right. I had been so disillusioned and disappointed in some of the pastors that I had lost interest in them. I wouldn’t call them for meetings and I wouldn’t say much to them. I would just smile to everyone and say, “You are blessed!” But I wouldn’t engage in a deep and substantial discussion with any of them. You see, my heart had turned away from these pastors. But God began to turn my heart back to them. He made me pray for them and gradually, I regained the love and interest for these pastors. I then understood first-hand what it meant for the heart of the father to be turned away from his children. It is indeed a dangerous thing and it does bring a curse. Pray that your father’s heart will not be turned away from you. 4. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they feel a father must earn their honour by being honourable. Unfortunately, many sons and daughters are disappointed in the lives of their fathers and mothers. They are often disappointed at the marriages of their parents.

Many sons think they will do better than their parents have done with money, relationships and other opportunities of life. Some children even think they will look after their own children better than their parents looked after them. It is true that most parents fall short of the ideal father and mother. Every parent is a phantom of what he could be. Parents are just human beings. Fathers are easy to criticize because their lives are out in the open.

It is also true that an “imperfect” father may bring a “perfect” man into the world and a good person may bring an evil person into the world. For instance, Hitler and Stalin had mothers who took them to church. Both Hitler and Stalin were members of the choirs in their churches.

Stalin even attended a bible school for a period. Obviously, the parents of these mass murderers were Christians and churchgoers. Somehow they brought forth men who would cause the deaths of millions of people.

God knows that many of the parents of “good” people are not “good”. And yet, He gave a blanket instruction that fathers and mothers should be honoured. This scripture presents itself as a hurdle or a stumbling block to many who would have excelled in life and ministry.

The obvious moral, financial and marital failings of fathers have nothing to do with the honour that God has commanded us to give to them. If God wants to punish the fathers for their financial, moral and marital sins, He will. That has nothing to do with the honour a child is expected to give to his father.

Remember the words of Jesus when He said, “Give unto Caesar the things that belong to Caesar and unto God the things that are God’s”. Every father, no matter who he is, is due the honour commanded by God for him. God does not lose anything when Caesar receives the taxes that belong to him. That is why Jesus said that people should go ahead and give Caesar his taxes.

God’s kingdom does not lose anything when fathers receive the honour that belong to them. The morals, the holiness and the righteousness of the kingdom of God will not be compromised when a father is honoured.

Many people are “over righteous”, self righteous and judgmental when it comes to the sins of their fathers. They use the errors, the flaws and the obvious sins of their fathers as excuses to withhold the honour that is due them.

Like Pharisees, they see the commandments of God as mutually exclusive. In other words, you cannot maintain the moral standards and at the same time give honour to a father if he has committed any such sins.

If it were the case that only perfect fathers were to be honoured, then there would be no need of the fifth commandment (Honour thy father...) because there is no perfect father on this earth!

5. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they add to the fifth commandment.

If you meditate on the fifth commandment, you will discover that it does not describe the type of mother or father you are supposed to honour. It simply says you are to honour your father and a mother. By adding to the scripture, they make it impossible to obey. Here are some examples of how people add to the fifth commandment: a. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who is perfect that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” b. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who is rich that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’

But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” c. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was a good husband to your mother that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” d. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who paid your school fees that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ... that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” e. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who did not divorce your mother that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” f. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was married to only one wife that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

g. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who had children with only one woman that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” h. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who did not fall into sin that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” i. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was always at home that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” j. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who built a house for the family that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” k. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who left you an inheritance that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’

But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” l. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who related well with all his children that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” m. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who had no weaknesses that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” n. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who had a lot of money that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” o. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who achieved a lot in his life that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

p. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was a great man that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” q. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who played a great role in your life that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” r. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who accepted you as his son that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” s. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who you lived with that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” t. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who did not shout at you and rebuke you that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” u. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who gave you a lot of money that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” v. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was a born-again Christian that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” w. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was not an illiterate that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” x. People find it difficult to honour fathers because they think the scripture says: ‘Honour thy father who was not into the occult that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.’ But the Bible actually says: “Honour thy father and mother; ...that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Indeed, honouring fathers and relating to fathers is truly a spiritual exercise. It may not make sense to the natural man but it is one of the greatest biblical principles of the Word of God. Upon this fifth commandment, the entire human race rises and falls. Upon this fifth commandment to honour your father and mother entire ministries rise and fall. May you not struggle with the concept of honouring fathers! May you be a good son so that one day you will be a good father! May you honour others so that one day you will also receive honour!

by Dag Heward-Mills

[arthur-r]

i am made of moments / and slumps, soft fantasies / testing out the waters / a few drugs dunked in the sink / and i am made of meanwhiles / neither here nor there / neither soul nor scared / drinking from the faucet / ‘til the future comes / ‘til i’m overrun / and so / now i take the chance to let things go / hold my head underwater / it’s what i want / tasting like the morning / buttered up in sun / aging like a wine / and there will come a moment / that i cannot plan for us / living in deep time / and so / now i take the chance to let things go / hold my head underwater / it’s what i want / high climate / should time it / in morning / for everything good / no return times / back where it spouts / up here to decide / that i’m wide awake

#here’s the normal album version of morning by poolboy!! sorry i’ve just become a little bit obsessed and want them to be famous #me. my post. mine. #delete later