#idfk what their problem is but it is kinda sad seeing them go from loving to constant arguing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imagine-that · 3 years

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Good for you

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warning: angst? Anger? Idfk, breaking things, rage ig.

( A part 2 to White Horse )

AN: I didn’t have this one planned as a part buttttttttt I heard the song and I had a Loki’s perspective idea for this fic and I just started writing it and now it’s finished andddddd I kinda like it even more than I liked White Horse 😊😊 here’s the song if you want to listen while you read or whatever ❤️❤️

Loki glared up at the ceiling, staring up at the art of a mural painted over the surface for what seemed like the thousandth time that day alone. He showed absolutely no desire to do much else lately, not unless visiting Heimdall counted as something to do, but he never did that just for the purpose of chatting.

Since you’d ran away, he was even worse than he was before. He was cold towards anyone who approached him, he snapped at the very slightest of things and he spent his days obsessing. Obsessing over where you were, what you did, who you were with. Essentially, if it had anything to do with you, he demanded to know even the smallest of details.

For whatever reason, he didn’t dare go down to Midgard to look for you. Heimdall believed it was because he only worried for you and somehow deep down he knew this was better for the both of you but he kept this theory to himself, not wanting to further enrage the god.

“Where is she/he/they now?” Loki barked as he walked through the gates, not bothering with a normal greeting.

“Y/n is just out for a coffee your highness, there is not much to say from the last time you asked.” Heimdall said simply.

Loki shakes his head with a cold laugh. “And? Who is she/he/they with then? Midgardians typically go for coffee in pairs. They use it as a date.” He sneers, glaring just at the thought.

“It seems that she/he/they is with another person yes.” Heimdall says, hoping it won’t send Loki over the edge to hear.

“Of course.” He mutters under his breath, storming away without another word to Heimdall, his brain flooding with an overwhelming amount of memories with you, making his jaw grind as it tightened.

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world

His thoughts were plagued with the idea of you with another, your hand held in someone else’s, your laugh being another persons treasure. It filled him with an envy as green as his cloaks, his blood boiling at the mere idea.

He stormed through the throne room, ignoring his fathers shouts of anger for the interruption, ignoring Thor’s cries of concern and heading straight to the only place he felt he had left of you; your room in the palace.

As angry as he was, he gently shut the door behind him rather than slamming it, not wanting to disturb the peace in the empty room.

To others, that was exactly what it would look like; an empty and vacant bedroom waiting to be used. But to him it was the last place he’d seen you, the last time he’d ever seen his one true love was in this room and he couldn’t handle the idea that it could be the last time ever.

He glanced at the photos you’d left decorating your dresser, the only sign that this room was ever once used for anything more than a guest room.

He stared at one of the photos with a blank stare, grabbing it off the dresser and looking down at your still smiling face intently, as though if he stared long enough, it would pull you right out of the photograph and back to him. But then he flashes back to the last night you two had been together, the way he’d been so blinded by his love for you that you’d managed to deceit him and he cried out in anger, tossing the frame across the room where it smashed as soon as it hit the wall.

He was breathing heavy, collapsing down to the ground on his knees.

He remembered Heimdall telling him that you had been seeing a therapist, coping much better with the trauma he’d put you through when you started seeing the professional. Despite his love for you, he was jealous beyond belief.

He was a god, he was good looking, he was a prince. He should be the one thriving without you, so he thought. But instead he was the one falling apart at the seams.

And good for you, I guess that you’ve been workin’ on yourself

I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped

Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl

He cried out again, anger filling his entire body with a hot rage.

Thor slammed the door open, rushing over to his brothers side. “Brother, what is the matter?” He asked, crouching down beside him.

Loki laughs humourlessly. “What is the matter? WHAT IS THE MATTER? The one person in this world who has ever chosen me over all else, who has ever loved me unconditionally has ran off into the sunset, probably with a mere mortal. And I am at fault for it. That, dear brother, is what is the matter.” He growls, a sad smile painting his lips.

“Y/n will return brother, at which point you may apologize for the problems between you two.” Thor assures him.

Loki scoffs, looking up at his brother with narrowed eyes. “Dare not speak her/his/their name brother.” He warns, his jaw stiff again.

Since your departure, the only person who’d said your name was Heimdall. Not even Loki himself could bring himself to say it, the pain still too raw.

Well good for you

You look happy and healthy, not me

If you ever cared to ask

“It will happen Loki. Give it time.” Thor says again, ignoring his brothers threat as he rises to his feet, patting Loki on the shoulder sympathetically.

Loki doesn’t move, stays in his spot planted on your floor, surrounded by his memories while Thor leaves.

He pulls himself up, but only to let himself lay on your bed rather than looking so pathetic and powerless on the floor, feeling he at least deserved that much dignity.

“Dearest I miss you.” He murmurs to no one, staring up at the ceiling once again, this time not quite glaring. The intricate golden and silver designs on your ceiling were more delicate, softer than the ones in his own or in any other room in the palace really.

“Loki I don’t need my own room in the palace. I have yours! That’s plenty enough for me.” He could practically hear your voice, your hesitation at staying in the palace officially due to the royalty part of everything fresh in his mind as though it were only yesterday and not three or so years ago.

Now you were probably off living your dream Midgardian life, something that was completely beyond him in your eyes apparently. He could almost see you, walking around in the streets on Midgard, savouring everything you saw, smelt, tasted. From what Heimdall had said, you were perfectly content being so ordinary.

Good for you

You’re doing great out there without me, baby

God I wish that I could do that

He hated thinking of you, every moment he did was a moment he had to spend missing your presence. In yet another fit of rage, he threw a crystal vase at the door, the shattered pieces spreading across the floor.

He forced himself to his feet, making himself leave your room, abandoning the broken items as he simply walked around them, slamming the door behind him. He’d already disturbed the peace in the room just by being there, he knew, and to think otherwise would be foolish and stupid.

“Prince Loki, are you alright? I heard something break and it sounded as though it came from your room.” A young maid asked as she approached him, worry apparent on her face. Loki recognized the girl as one who had been crushing on him for years, one who often made you bubble with jealousy whenever she was around.

He smirked at the girl, a new idea popping into his head, one that would surely have hurt you as bad as your leave had hurt him.

“I am alright, I slipped and knocked down a vase, that is all.” He explained, trying to regain his usual charm and confidence.

The girl nodded, a small smile on her lips. “I’m so glad.” She says, batting her eyelashes his way in a manner he was sure she thought was attractive to him. He ignored it, focusing on his goal.

He grabbed the girl and pulled her into his room, shutting the door and pushing her up against it, wasting no time as he attacks her lips with his own. She lets out a gasp of surprise but immediately returns the gesture, kissing him hard. He holds her at the waist with one hand, going to cup her face with the other but opens his eyes for a mere moment and is suddenly seeing your face.

He blinks harshly, until it’s the girl standing in front of him again, watching him with a confused pout. Just as she’s about to speak, more than likely to ask if he’s alright again, he pulls the door open, shoving her out and closing it behind her, his eyes wide as he runs a hand through his hair, breathing heavy once again as he falls to the floor, his back against the door.

“Loki she was staring right at you! She’s practically in love with you! And I’m standing right there and she still makes googly eyes at you!” You had scoffed whenever the maid was around.

He so badly wanted to be able to laugh about your jealousy towards a girl who meant nothing to him compared to you, whose name he couldn’t even remember. He wanted to caress the side of your face, the pad of his thumb to your lips while he reassured you that he was all yours, no one else’s. But he couldn’t turn back time, this he knew.

“My love I’d give anything to get you back to me.” He chokes, starting to sob into his lap.

I’ve lost my mind

I’ve spent the night

Crying on the floor of my bathroom

He spends the whole night there, leaned against the door, getting nothing but an hour or so of sleep. The next day, he uses a simple spell to make himself appear fine, not able to bear the embarrassment of others seeing him breaking down like this.

He ignores any castle staff onlookers, going on in his stride straight back to the bifrost, following his newfound unhealthy routine.

“Prince Loki I must advise you as to how toxic this is becoming for you.” Heimdall warns him, letting out a sigh as Loki holds up a hand to silence him, watching expectantly for an answer to his unasked question.

“Y/n has been settling into her/his/their new life. She/he/they is starting a Midgardian job today.” Heimdall finally explains, giving up on his attempts to preserve Loki’s feelings.

“I see.” Loki hums to himself, the gears in his brain shifting.

“Was that all?” Heimdall asks, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Send me there.” Loki says suddenly, looking over at Heimdall for the first time in all of his many visits. Heimdall looks back in slight shock.

“What do you believe that will accomplish your highness?” He asks, trying to fight Loki on the matter respectfully.

“I need to see my love there, happy. I need to see it for myself.” Loki responds simply. Heimdall glances at him once more, nodding as he knows he’d never be able to talk him out of this idea. He tells him where exactly he’d be able to find you reluctantly.

Heimdall opens the gates wordlessly, sending Loki on the way down to earth. Loki arrives, dusting off his clothes as he uses another spell to make himself appear completely different from usual.

Though he’d only spent a brief period on Midgard, he knew his way around well enough that he could find the address Heimdall had given him fairly quickly, walking through the streets of New York to find it.

“Of course she/he/they would pick New York.” He thought to himself bitterly, winding past other tourists until he reached the building he was looking for. He was about to enter when something caught his eye in the window of a small coffee shop next door. He saw a flash of y/h/c, the exact shade he’d seen so many times and froze, staring on at the source.

And there you were, with men and women and people all around you, chatting, laughing, drinking with them. He saw the warm smile on your face and his heart melted knowing he wasn’t the source of it this time. He couldn’t hear what was being said through the window but he knew it was important from the sole fact that it was making you laugh. He felt tears starting in his eyes, a wave of hurt hitting him again and again inside, drowning him.

But you’re so unaffected,

I really don’t get it

But I guess good for you

He watched, unable to move from his spot, eyes glued to the familiarity of you. He wanted your warm embrace against his cold to the touch skin, your lips on his.

But he felt another wave, one of anger. You’d left that touch, that safety net, for this. For midgardians, mere mortals. How could they possibly offer you more than he could, he wondered.

He took a deep breath, stalking into the coffee shop and getting in line to order, wanting at least one thing to come out of this disaster of a thought to come to where you are.

“No no, my ex... he’s a good guy. We just weren’t really meant to be, I guess? It was... complicated.” He overheard you say, his eyes darting to you. He tries to turn his gaze away, realizing what he’s doing but you look up, your eyes meeting his. For a moment the both of you keep eye contact, Loki too scared to look away and you confused as to why this man you’d never seen has such a familiar stance to him.

You blink a few times, turning back to your group and continuing your chat, making Loki breath a small sigh of relief. He mutters his order to the poor barista, her swooning over him, even in his disguise. Once his order comes up, he storms out, not bothering to look back at you as you start talking about your new job, new apartment, your new life essentially. He frowns at the thought of you being in any place that would be unfamiliar to him, trying to think of how you might feel living without him.

Did you miss him as much as he missed you? Had your comment in the shop been a hint that you were miserable like he was? But he knew that neither of those would possibly be true. Your smile said it all; you were already moving on perfectly fine without him. It was as though you were almost trying to erase your history with him, from his perspective anyway.

Well good for you, I guess you’re getting everything you want

You bought a new car and your career’s really taking off

It’s like we never even happened, baby what the fuck is up with that?

Unable to bear the thoughts multiplying in his mind, Loki ducked into an ally, curling into himself against a wall, starting to cry again.

He groaned in frustration, his head in his hands. You were unraveling him, he wasn’t sure how and he didn’t like how it felt. He’d always been at least somewhat levelheaded but with you gone, his mind was always clouded, his thoughts were infected with you nonstop.

It was like a disease had overcome his entire body and he had no cure, no antibodies to fight it.

“What have I done?” He asks himself, sighing into his hands, staying in his position crouched on the ground for a quiet moment, seeking nothing but a bit of peace.

He’d only wanted to show you he truly loved you but instead he’d driven you away, into a new embrace.

He runs a hand over his jaw, willing himself up. If he couldn’t hear to see you, there was no purpose in him furthering his stay. He decided silently that the best option for him was going back and waiting for Heimdall to open the gates, to get him as far away from your soft features and glowing personality as possible before he did something he’d regret, like approaching you and outing himself as a stalker, not that he really cared anymore. You’d never see him the same as you once had, this much was clear.

Memories of the first I love you came to his mind suddenly.

“I love you Loki, and I know you love me too so stop acting so silly and just say it, please.” You had begged him. He had merely smirked and ran off, telling you you had to catch him to hear it back. You’d chased him around the gardens and the libraries and balconies of the entire palace until you’d caught up, out of breath as you’d grabbed his cloak and pulled him towards you and kept him rooted to his spot until he returned the words.

He’d been hesitant, merely to tease you but he’d said them back, said them multiple times while he had kissed you all over, overjoyed by the sense of protection and love he felt with you.

He shook his head with a bitter laugh to himself at the bittersweet memory, seeing as how things were for you now.

He trudged his way back to the gates opening, kicking a rock aggressively all the way there, trying to contain himself enough to not scream out in anger the way he had been doing in his room. But every time he managed to calm himself, your smiling face found it’s way into his brain, making him lose all feelings not involving anger.

He kept trying to remind himself that it had been your choice, that you’d left him without a goodbye or anything of the sort on purpose to make the wound sting more but it did nothing but make him feel agony for the hurt he’d put you through.

And good for you it’s like you never even met me

Remember when you swore to god I was the only person who ever got you

Well screw that and screw you, you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

His rage was finally starting to blind him again as he marched to the gates, just how he liked it. The idea of you with another person was still what really set it off. Seeing you hurt but watching you thrive and move on was more, it was worse. It filled him with feelings he’d never thought he’d feel towards you in his life but he was and he didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would.

‘No one leaves a prince. Not unless they are absolutely crazy.’ He thought to himself smugly, waiting at the gates for Heimdall to open them. He gets pulled through, up to Asgard where he dusts off his smooth suit, relieved to finally be out of the disguise he’d chosen.

The smile on your face when he’d seen you with the Midgardians was glued to his brain, his focus flying all over the place at the memory. He couldn’t figure out quite what it was that was making him so agitated himself, knowing he missed you but suppressing the extent of it.

Asgard felt empty, superficial almost without you there to watch everything in such a natural awe that he’d so admired for so long. It was as though all the colours of the home he’d so cherished for so long were drained right down the gates when they’d opened and swallowed you whole.

He couldn’t bear that you’d managed to run off with not only his trust and dignity but his sanity along with it.

Pushing such thoughts to the back of his mind, Loki stormed back to his own room, avoiding yours at all costs as he forced his doors open, slamming them behind him and grabbing anything breakable in sight, tossing it at the balcony doors. If anyone had walked in they would’ve thought he’d truly lost his mind but to him, that much was at least somewhat true.

Maybe I’m too emotional

But your apathy’s like a wound in salt

Your deceit was controlling more of his life, his thoughts, his entire being than he’d ever care to admit. He was consumed with a need for you, a thirst to be near you again and everyone could see it was driving him to the edge of a cliff, the only possible person to pull him back up being the one pushing him to it in the first place. Still, he knew it was all his own doing. That was how he knew part of his latest insanity was due to the built up guilt from so long.

Even so, he was enraged. With you, with himself, with the world. It was a mix of everything.

He could almost feel the gentle touch of your hand to his shoulder when he was upset, your lips pressed sweetly to his temple in attempts to cool him off.

“You can’t hold pointless grudges all your life Loki. You can try but I’m not sure it would be any fun.” You’d teased, making him smile despite his sour mood.

He cried out, throwing another priceless item from his hand, crumbling to the ground yet again. The stress was eating away at him.

Maybe I’m too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

Thor heard the crashes and smashing coming from his brothers room and went running, pushing open the door with all his strength, his mouth agape as he was met with the sight of his brother screaming in agony.

“Brother, talk to me.” He commands, trying to stop Loki from throwing anything more. Loki thrashes against his brother, sobbing while he yells out, fighting his brother with all his might.

“Loki stop fighting me and tell me what is wrong!” Thor commands and Loki falls to the ground on his knees, exhaustion hitting him like a brick.

“I am fine. Everything is fine.” He murmurs, smiling at his brother easily. Thor shakes his head, not accepting the answer this time.

“Tell me.” He says again and Loki sighs, a hollow laugh choking out of his lips. He removes the spell he’d used, revealing his true self, in pyjamas, his hair an extreme mess, his face sunken in and pale, more so than usual. His eyes were bloodshot beyond belief.

Thor audibly gasped at the sight of his brother covered in his own blood, the shards of the glass having cut into his hands and his feet several times. Loki sinks in against the edge of the bed, looking up at his brother tiredly.

“There. Now you have seen the true me.” He mutters, not saying anything else as his mouth sets in a line.

Well good for you,

You look happy and healthy, not me

If you ever cared to ask

“Loki... I had no idea it was this bad brother.” Thor said quietly, sitting down awkwardly next to his brother on the floor. Loki quickly pushed away, not wanting to face anyone’s pity for even a moment.

“Leave me be brother, I keep this disgustingly weak display hidden for a reason.” Loki growled, avoiding his brothers eyes, staring at the broken glass laying at his feet.

Thor stands, not wanting to ignore Loki’s wishes and leaves him with his thoughts, his brows still furrowed in worry as he shuts the already busted door behind him gently.

Loki runs both of his hands through his mess of hair, squeezing as though to rid himself of the memories locked in place, taunting him on an endless loop.

“You can never get her/him/them back. Never ever.” They seemed to whisper in his mind, the sound of silence in the room only amplifying their nonexistent voices.

He smacked his head harshly, trying to push them out, trying to get back to the quiet while tears rolled down his cheeks, wondering once again why he had ever done anything so cruel to you as he had.

“I am so very sorry my darling.” He whispered into the emptiness softly, hugging his knees to his chest.

Never once had he ever felt so broken down or lonely in his existence, never once had he ever felt so much remorse mixed with anger as he did right then, knowing it was too late to even apologize in the first place. A part of him wondered if you felt anything regarding him at all anymore. A deeper part of him wondered how long it would be til you purposely forgot him entirely, all emotions about him disregarded just like that. And he knew if you did he had to live with the fact that he deserved every moment of it.

Good for you

You’re doing great out there without me, baby

Like a damn sociopath

Ignoring the blood drying on his hands and his feet, Loki went into the bathroom and splashed ice cold water onto his face, trying to get a more level head out of it. While the shiver it gave him did wake him up a bit, his mind was just as clouded, just as distracted.

He groaned, slamming his fists down on the edge of the sink, nearly cracking it with the strength used. Suddenly his room felt too solitary and confining. He put on his facade again, cloaking any form of injury or sadness with his powers. He walked into the gardens, nowhere else to stay away from others while not feeling claustrophobic, though sending him back in time for a mere moment.

“You know Loki, you ought to spend more time out here. These plants are so pretty. And the flowers all smell so good. How could you not just run away from everything in the world and hide out here from it?” You asked. He had chuckled, pulling you along the path and deeper through the enchanting maze of greenery until you had reached the bench.

“My mother took me here as a child. She said it was our place, for our escapes from reality. She told me to only show it to those I truly trusted or were truly enchanted with. You are both of those things to me y/n.” He had told you as he held you in his embrace, carefully picking a flower and handing it off to you, the first gift he’d ever given you.

He smiled slightly at the memory, thinking how ironic and poetic that he was now doing exactly as you had suggested that day and running from his responsibilities. He missed the way even the most mundane of things had been so easy for you to enjoy.

He laid in the grass, ignoring the stinging in his feet and the twinges of pain in his palms from his cuts, taking comfort in the memories he had. Those, he was thankful you couldn’t have taken with you. He felt pathetic. He felt weak and vulnerable and all the things he’d never wanted to feel in his life. And even worse, it was because of the one person he thought he could always count on to protect him from those terrible feelings.

He hummed absentmindedly to himself, feeling much more calm with the fresh air and sounds of nature rather than complete silence. He still didn’t feel quite like himself but he was unsure if he ever would again anyway. At least now he felt somewhat in control of his own mind.

I’ve lost my mind

I’ve spent the night

Crying on the floor of my bathroom

As he watched the sky, Loki thought of you, every mark, scar, line, feature of yours, drawing out your face in his mind, the most memorable moments with you playing like a film sequence. His smile fell a little as this day, his impromptu visit from earlier came to his mind.

Whether he was truly angry at you for leaving wasn’t the question anymore. Not really. The question had more so become whether you’d really loved him at all or if he had fooled himself into believing you did.

He silently decided on the latter, knowing you had too big a heart to ever put anyone through that level of hurt.

Still, he seethed with jealousy thinking of the boy who had been sitting the closest to you in the little coffee shop, the way he had looked at you the same way Loki always had. And it hadn’t seemed to him like you’d been too eager to pull away either, which only made it sting worse.

He closed his eyes in a small show of defeat to no one, knowing you were better off without him around to flip the world upside down for you. Deep, deep down he knew you needed a stability he wasn’t ready to provide yet, though he would never ever admit that to anyone, much less himself.

No, instead he missed holding what was his in his arms, making you feel safe and comfortable like he had for so many years. Anyone’s hands on you other than his made him feel a blind rage even on his best day and right then it was the worst day he’d ever faced, making the anger spread like wildfire through him.

The image stood at a standstill in his brain and he convinced himself that one way or another, he had to get you back to him.

But you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it

But I guess good for you

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

———————————————————————

Tagging: @peachybaes , @wolfish-trickster and @writinguntilmyheartgivesout (thank you guys for the support on White horse, you have no idea how ecstatic they made me, my heart was very happy, I appreciate you, and all my other readers 💖💖)

58 notes · View notes

jrwiyuri · 3 years

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List of shit we need to bring back / start as a fandom:

Dad schlatt (with whoever tbh, Fundy, Tubbo, Tommy, idfc just bring it back it was cool!)

Glattbur (i just think it was funny. Also the fanart of Ghostbur seeing alivebur in the after life was cool as shit)

Mexican Dream

Nikis bakery

Weird ass theories we had (L’Manburg members were all like teens in war, wilbur was just pretending to be Ghostbur and had like.. idfk sharpie on his skin?? That kind of bullshit we would spew out of no where and where half of us were like ‘yup this makes sense’ and and the other half were like ‘literally what the fuck are you talking about??’)

Dreamon hunters (and also include sapnap in it more it’s cool)

When people used to think about what the different characters would be like as ghosts (around when Ghostbur was first introduced and we were like ‘yooo new concept?’. Revived a lil bit when Tommy died but I’m talking about people who weren’t dead)

The funny little aus where the dsmp was real life things such a school or a subway or a mall or something!!

Misferns dynamic

Also Tubbo and Fundy dynamic besides just in the dreamon hunters

Tales from the smp (this is a personal attack towards Karl Jacobs /j)

Think we should bring back specifically the election era and specifically the vibes of when they built the White House

How cool pogtopia looked. I mean I love the arc but tbh you guys could just draw the little ravine and I’d be set I think it looks so cool :))

Karl Jacob time traveler theories that everyone else thought was annoying because it was like taking away from actual plot (idc about actual plot tho Karl jacobs is actually going to solve every problem on the dsmp I predict <3)

Karlnapity… bring it back please- they’re still happy together I swear

Fanart of George as king. I’m sure there’s plenty probably should just follow more people who draw George but still

Funboo ice cream shop vs puffychu flower shop

Funboo in general :(

Puffychu in general :(

Eret adopting Fundy (still so sad this never happened)

TUBBO adopting Fundy (funny as shit, also a lil upset this never happened lmao)

Philza adopting fundy 🤔🤔 (a little trickier but like their relationship gets better so yknow- it’s possible pre Wilbur revival times. I mean he doesn’t actually need to adopt fundy but more content with them as grandson grandfather, yknow?)

Fundy was taken- I don’t care that it’s dead in cannon Fundy deserves love god dammit!!

Early soft L’Manburg Tommy & early batshit insane L’Manburg Tubbo. We were all in the phase of Tommy being loud and annoying while Tubbo like da bee n shit that we never got to draw them like this 😔

Wilbur being petty towards Eret and Dream cause he didn’t really roleplay trauma yet so he was kinda just like “grrr bark bark”

Specifically the manburg flag. Just the flag, I think that it looked cool :)

No Fundy angst only him being mischievous :))

Dream XD. I know this isn’t old but I feel like we moved past this too fast- maybe I don’t follow the right people tho idk 😔👊

Lmanburg anthem but where people created their own other verses. I know that it’s actually been finished by Ghostbur but ignore that

Guys I just rlly want people to talk more about the funny little things we had early days when people were allowed to be less in character or just didn’t have trauma with each other (like the Wilbur vs Dream quiz thing. That was so fun!! We can’t have that shit current day dsmp ):< )

Dsmp aus where the members literally just fuck off and say no thanks and go to a completely different server (like fundy moving to cogchamp n shit)

The rust sever. I know it’s not actually dsmp and also that it’s dead but everyone had cool designs n shit man;;

The different Tubbo personas (personal favorite is drugbo- or whatever one that was in the mines lol)

Capetian sparkles is tubbos dad

The big ass lore we created for the first tales of the smp??! How robin was like non-binary and Dream was immortal and corpse was going to be Robins dad and how the people played were all ancestors to the current them and all of that shit!!! Guys holy fuck please bring this back omg;;

Sam nook- please, bring my boy back

Tommy vs Team rocket but it wasn’t the angsty shit or anything no it was just comedic moments of Niki and Jack somehow not being able to fuckin kill Tommy

Also team rocket in general guys talk about this more

The Niki Tommy Tubbo dynamic during pogtopia era that didn’t last super long

More bad being a dad to Sapnap

Bring up the bad and Skeppy soulmates thing / share cannon lives? I don’t even know if this is still canon or was ever actually cannon but who cares bring it back!!

People with their pets except it’s not Tommy with Henry it’s like literally anybody else (I love Henry and Tommy but I feel like we didn’t draw a lot of content with people with their pets?)

Tubbos many jobs. I think we need a list of all the ins Tubbo has lol (I actually think there is one idfk where the hell it would be!)

Smelly Wilbur. Just the fact that he’s probably canonically stinky which is funny

#stupid snake talk #this got so long;;#I could #probably think of more #and there’s probably stuff someone else had said that I also want back but I just don’t remember some stuff until someone mentions it lol #also a lot of this is probably cause I don’t follow the right people instead of the fact the content is not being made anymore #like with mushroom king Ge0rge or f^ndy & R4nboo or karlnap1ty

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snickiebear · 3 years

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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

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robinisaghost · 3 years

Note

animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)

mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling

anyway

this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry

can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao

mild dsmp spoilers obviously

this is the playlist, by the way

-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)

i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah

-this is home (cavetown)

mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.

-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)

ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back

-pyjama pants (cavetown)

ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them

-boys will be bugs (cavetown)

OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY

I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)

-brother (kodaline)

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT

anyway

i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.

-feel better (penelope scott)

fundy. that is all.

no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.

-as the world caves in (matt maltese)

ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.

-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)

obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h

-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)

SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG

but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh

-need you here (idkhow)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO

like b r u h that works so well with them

also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')

also also

the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song

-green (cavetown)

another cavetown song huh. ok sure.

mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.

anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"

FUCKKKK

the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-achilles come down (gang of youths)

OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER

so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)

ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR

i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write

#long post #tw suicide #only a mention at the end but still gotta be safe :)#dsmp #dreamsmp #dsmp animatics #robin talks #ask #thank you so much for the ask tho cos like. i dont wanna be annoying or anything? but also like. i really wanted to talk about this gsdfkjg #god i hope the read more worked or this is gonna be annoying to everyone ever #its fine probably maybe not really

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Text

watched the end of some guy’s amnesia: rebirth playthrough and i have some boring thoughts @halloweenhavoc have u finished the game i feel like you have more of a grasp on all this stuff than i do lmfao what with having actually played it and also probably remembering machine for pigs better

i really did not like fully piece together either the lore of the Main Story of the game nor the broader Amnesia Universe Lore lmfao but i was interested in the latter especially, but re: the former, i did like having all these other Known People associated with the protag whose fates we could all find out and shit

i’m like, sort of underwhelmed, but that’s b/c even though i was like “okay so just b/c this is a frictional-produced amnesia sequel a decade later doesn’t mean you need to hype it up like it’s gonna blow your mind just coz atdd was That big a deal” doesn’t mean i still wasn’t partially like oh but what if it is like mindblowing horror game tho......it felt a lot more like soma than atdd which isn’t in itself bad b/c soma rules but when i’m expecting it to be more like atdd it just makes things kinda bemusing and hard to recalibrate.....it was a good game though lol just like the whole time trying to figure out what the experience is gonna be i guess

anyways so like in the direction frictional’s games have gone it def feels like they’re more into Game Environments (those ruled in this game....) and being very like Thematic Story-Centric.....atdd was very stripped down and they sure got creative with that and it was as effective as it was but yeah it feels like now that they have the clout from that and the game production experience and presumably more resources and stuff that they’re progressing in This Direction which is not as atdd-esque lmao like good for them if this is the creative vision, follow those dreams and stuff

did not feel at all invested in any of this baby lore lmfaooo like it was very abstract and also i don’t care. but 10/10 for breastfeeding gameplay

i did like the Other World lore like. this is where alexander is from, Maybe?? i remember he’s mentioned as an apostate from [somewhere else] but like, is that somewhere else in another dimension or just another Region in this world lmao i don’t know. out here Inventing the amnesia potion vitae harvesting strategy, and then it’s Something Else he does that is considered heinous and they just banish him to earth lmfaooo like our problem now......and who is alexander’s wife lmfao. in atdd bad ending, when alexander portals back, does he get to come back to the shitty place where nothing’s going on but eternal vitae harvest i guess? sucks. in atdd sorta-neutral-ending, when you toss agrippa’s head through the portal and then agrippa asks [someone, i forget who....the student? weyer? or whoever??] to Help Daniel, does everyone get to go to this crappy world or are there other better dimensions lmao....also i forget how this The Other World got so shitty in the first place. something something they flew too close to the sun with their technology and it got fucked up, i forget what The Gate even is........i do like this origin story for what the fuck is up with the shadow lmfao. that like, it’s just some other alchemical Invention expressly to fuck up the vitae system?? which is sort of counter to the idea that it’s simply a Guardian of any orbs.....but then also, there was some sort of note or memory that seemed to imply that having fucked up whatever Gate they fucked up created something that sounded like maybe it was the shadow?? or was it just something Else fucked up and b/c it was like “uh oh something shitty is happening here now” i just Assumed it was the shadow.....idfk. but idk maybe since Orbs are Other World Tech For Portals the shadow is just like, Other World Tech Ruiner and if you handle one improperly the shadow will like, sense orb-jostling Lol and be On It....i don’t knowwww

i gotta admit i did love the lore tying to atdd lmfao like maybe this game would’ve been better off not really being tied to atdd but i’m still like oh yep i’m a sucker for cameos / lore about these atdd people places and things.....herbert, alexander, daniel, brennenburg, and someone else i forget who was like “i’m the first human to get to this place but i don’t have A Traveller’s Whatever so i have to die here,” rip to him.....kinda funny that vitae-harvesting is like, so Industrialized in the other world with this factory and mass-produced as it were, which is Fucked Up, and alexander got shot to earth for some mysterious terrible thing and had to invite some rando with an orb to his castle and then get his help torturing other randos with medieval instruments like. banging rocks together over there. also i don’t get what the harvesters job was? they were sure Harvesting but if the vitae is just getting Sucked thru tubes why are these guys going around breathing it in also. just like, stray air-vitae filtering system?? idk

also what was going on time-wise with this weird accelerated pregnancy. i don’t think i get Why tasi got amnesia in the first place. coincidence i guess??? and why...did she end up back in the plane wreckage. was that just where she got dropped off after they were all like. taken from Our World into the Other World and then....back into our world?? i guess??? i’m just not clear on the Timeline Of Events and how everyone got split up with some people dying and shit....was everyone getting attacked by ghuls i guess. there was a crapload of them in that one place, wasn’t there.....i also forget Where things happened lmfaooo like shit was this in Earth or The Other World.....i guess the latter it was always like, “high tech” with that art deco design shit and green light and stuff.....god i don’t know. like i already forget why richard was like, held captive and tortured. just on evil principle??? augh lmfao

also it was certainly Interesting that people turn into monsters around here with some like, magic + corruption deal going on......felt like the Lore in atdd was sort of vague but that it could Maybe tie into that sort of idea....frictional games sure will like, Metaphorically have the Self and the Non-Self But Which Is Tied To Your Self in all its stories, atdd, soma, rebirth......daniel having this past self he’s now detached from but re-learning of his past exploits.......soma copy/pasting consciousnesses.......uhhh also when it was talking about the ideal Vitae Collecting Cycle being fear, amnesia, and then Hope, and about who was the best candidates for that, i was really thinking that like, we’d learn tasi was being put through a [Hope] sequence, basically

also (rachel if ur reading this lmfao) i remember this pre-release Audio Tape that wasn’t in the gameplay that i think was like, the doctor doing an experiment on a Monster to confirm it had regenerative properties?? i thought we were gonna get a whole fucked up subplot dealing with that guy lmfao but nah just at the end......i guess soma’s promotional stuff was similar, they had all these Files and Videos and stuff which was relevant to the Lore / story but which wasn’t like, flatout in the game......i guess at some point the doctor must’ve been like, experimenting on a crew member who was sort of in the process of Turning or w/e. hank or someone i guess.....UHHH i did like “talking” to so many monsters lmfaooo like leon and crap. wild, tragic, etc.......

RIGHT and i think frictional is really creative in its like, Game Mechanics, like how relatively recently we learned that that whole thing about being told that Low Sanity makes you easier to detect in atdd, but that wasn’t true and was just put in the game to put the player more on edge? i mean, daniel keeling over for a moment if sanity gets too low is probably unhelpful in a chase but. and like, here the “sanity” thing was neat, i liked the Sound lol, i liked the flashing images and how that was like, Relevant, but also it seems like you can’t ever die in this game?? basically, ish?? which i think is neat. like, you don’t really Need to.....said it last time how it feels like the player just is still going to react as Urgently if they’re being chased by the monster lmfaooo

idk there was something other neat / creative element i think i wanted to point out as Cool but i forget (HAHA...manesima.....) i dunno the 0.0001% chance any of you are Coincidentally into amnesia at all and know what all is being talked about here and have thoughts....feel free to send me an ask or whatever.......would be inchrested in hearing other takes on it etc

OH and it didn’t feel like machine for pigs was involved at all lmfao which makes sense since it wasn’t actually produced by frictional but now i’m really struggling to remember the Lore there and if it could Conceivably tie in with descent/rebirth-verse.......oswald’s soul got actually split with Evil Orb-Corrupted Self (which!!!! i forgot there’s even the implication that maybe orb-proximity fucks you up. didn’t seem that relevant here. here magic empress fountain water fucks you up) and Amnesia’d Good (Normal-er) Self and there’s the giant machine which is gonna.....consume the world to protect it from self-destructing in another way......or, that was the reason given to oswald anyways, i remember he like sacrifices his kids to it to save them from [his visions of ww1 being an impending thing] and he doesn’t find that out till the end......his evil self tricked his good self into firing up the machine......i forget where the pig men come from or what their point is, and the machine is like, another Factory Line Vitae Harvesting thing, right?? what’s the vitae For in this case....i sure don’t fuckin know. i forget what oswald does at the end as well to like, fix things, i remember feeling sad about it even though he was a horny weirdo.....i really forget what the full picture was there or what the Orb Involvement was. anyways. idk

would be fun to see more frictional games but it seems like they’re not too interested in doing something as atdd-esque again lol, soma seems more like What Frictional Really Wants To Do, which isn’t a bad thing cuz soma rules and like. objectively i guess soma is the better game, i’m not at all mad at anyone arguing soma is better lmfao, i just sure cherish atdd and it sure is the one that made the whole [subsequent horror game defining] splash lmfao. OH YEAH and i liked they threw in another moment where someone’s been alive for ages and you unplug them and it’s like what the fuck. and i guess you do that but even Harder in the one Rebirth ending where you shadow-infect everything and all the people in the vitae-pods die......which like, it Was def creepy having all those vitae pods lmfao. conceptually fucked up.....uh yeah that’s it i guess. was a sucker for the atdd-lore-fanservice stuff lol. thought it was good but wasn’t like atdd 2.0 which is both Totally Fine and also A Bit Disappointing Of Course lol. now i’m thinking about soma some more though which is Worthy cuz that game rules and i love its story / concepts so much. and i love that you keep fisting sphincters to Save until you have to fist your forearm off. we’ve all been there. and i love the “we have the better view. :)” audio log from someone on the surface. and how the gradual reveal of the [lady you talk to throughout the game who guides you along]’s story. and the Ending. and the gradual reveal of Just What Is Going On Around Here

anyways yeah atdd rules soma rules i thought this game was good too but def is like okay you’d rather make soma than atdd and that is valid

thots????????????????

#amnesia

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thecozycryptid · 5 years

Text

soft questions

I was tagged by @clumsybookworm18 thanks bro! I don’t usually do these but there were some good questions in here that night help y’all too if you’re having a tough day <3

1. what’s the smell of your shampoo?

Uhhhh.. idfk it’s a kinda fresh, maybe aloe Vera smell??? It doesn’t have a scent name but it’s really nice??? I just woke up rip

2. what’s your aesthetic?

Being lost in the woods but knowing you’re safe, roasting marshmallows in a fire pit while cuddling up to a friend and laughing sleepily, sunny days with a cool breeze and seagulls and songbirds overhead, warm cozy jumpers, hearty homemade food and sweet coffee with cinnamon.

3. what’s your favourite time of day?

Evenings bc they’re chilled out & pretty sunsets 👌👌

4. what’s your favourite thing about the beach?

Looking out to the freezing sea and eating ice cream under a warm sun

5. what’s something you worry about constantly?

Not being good enough and not doing enough to achieve my dream

6. what is a song you’ve cried to before?

‘hug all ur friends’ by cavetown really struck a cord with me and I ADORE his music to this day, it’s like a big hug after not seeing a best friend for months

7. what are some relaxing tips for your followers?

Take a minute.

Close your eyes, breathe in the smell of the tea or coffee you’re drinking, count to ten slowly and think of everything you’re grateful for.

Don’t feel guilty about feeling grateful.

You are beautiful, you are unique and I love you.

8. what are some things that make you tear up?

So many things my dude I’m a Taurus, we’re sensitive AF in our own way

Also dogs and ferrets. I love them.

9. what is your favourite from each of the five senses?

Sight: Fairy lights

Sound: A forest chorus

Smell: Cinnamon

Taste: Sweet or warm, hearty foods

Touch: Super soft jumpers without labels

10. what is one alternate reality you’d want to be in?

The one where I’m a magical cryptid in the woods and most humans don’t bother me

11. what are some troubles you face on a day to day basis?

My Dyspraxia with varying levels of dumbass

12. what is one scene of a book that’s made you really sad?

Lupin and Tonks dying after being with baby Teddy for two days tHEY DESERVED HAPPINESS JK

13. say something to all your followers

My sweet dudes. My guys. Lads. You’ve got this, most of your problems are just amplified in your head. Take a minute y’know?

I tag all of you. Whoever wants to do this go ahead, have fun dudes

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mika-shion · 5 years

Text

Vent/PSA/Me rambling cuz of short attention span?

Every possible thing that could be bringing everyone around me down is. And, no matter how much effort I put in, nothing I do can help, let alone fix anything.

Meanwhile, I'm desperately trying to a) better my life in the process by getting myself a job and b) trying just as desperately, if not more so, to keep myself from sinking into my anxiety + depression like everyone around me.

And honest to fucking God, I haven't done anything this difficult in my life. Despite my efforts, I still find my mind slipping back into that all too comfortable + familiar place of axiety + self loathing. But, even though I feel like it's actually destroying me, I continue to push through it.

Because THAT'S how unbelievably desperate I am to see something good happen in my horribly distgusting life.

Like... Cards on the fucking table (as if they weren't already there lol); My family sucks (still love them tho), my living situation/environment is toxic and unpleasant, my relationships have absolutely fucking disintegrated and I've magically fooled myself into thinking I still have a chance at having all of these people in my life on a regular basis.

Like 17+ people. With how shit I am at managing my time, and the fact that I have yet to schedule appointments, start work, or start drawing + singing/recording again.

Lol sorry bitch, ain't happenin'. No matter how bad you wanna keep this shit goin. People are gonna leave and there's not a goddamned thing you can do to stop em.

Honestly that's not even counting the few I have yet to reach back out to either after... God knows how many months/years.

I'll be 22 in abt 3 months, but I've actually aged 5 years in these past 3 months, without the bonus of the experience that would normally come with those years.

I try to stay positive while also being realistic, and I'll keep trying for that til the day I die. But, despite my efforts, I only see myself becoming more and more cynical, negative and hateful by the day. I'm becoming what my younger self would've likely called a monster. Or at the very very least, an asshole.

Sad fact of the matter is that, if I can't stay strong + keep fighting these instincts/routines, or find a solution to any of this mess, I will actually have no reason to live.

That sounds extreme and dramatic as fuck, I know. But I'm being 100% serious... Or I was.

As I was writing this I... Surprisingly couldn't bring myself to believe that... But that's kinda the struggle I'm always dealing with. I'm always firmly planted on the line.

In some situations, it's very easy to pick a side. But sometimes I find myself trying my hardest to understand both sides before making a decision. Which might not be a problem if I didn't overthink every little aspect.

Fuck it... Clearly I'm just rambling at this point. The thing is... Life is painfully complicated, and I've got no one to help me find my way. Not in the way I need anyway.

Like... I don't completely expect anyone to hold my hand through everything.... But I also do, because no one ever did. Or more accurately, no one ever really taught me what I really needed to know to survive, and now I'm trapped floundering.

And like... The vast majority of people I know that are about my age were, or are, in this same situation in some way or another.

A good chunck of them seem to be managing just fine, but, again, the majority are not. Even worse, I'm seeing that we're all stuck with all this garbage that previous generations have either left behind or are in the process of making. Most of which I truly do not fully grasp, certainly not enough to talk about it, and I completely lack the will or (more importantly) the knowledge necessary to find this information on my own, given the extremely limited amount of downtime I have for such things and how long it takes for me (someone with autism and ADHD) to fully process whatever I'm looking into.

I am one of many prime examples/products of a terrifyingly flawed system and I lack the tools necessary to even learn how to fix it.

As a whole, this system just seems self destructive and everyone is trapped in their own bubbles far too much to even grasp that concept, let alone begin to thinl of a way to fix it.

Idfk... I could honestly go on longer.

I'm sorry for how long + wordy this is. It started as a vent post and quickly drifted into some weird PSA thing.

Assuming I can actually send this whole thing, thank you if you read all of this. I know it wasn't easy lol...

If you take anything from this... I guess... I hope you use whatever power you may have to make the world around you a better place for everyone. Cuz I promise you - EVERYONE. Will benefit. And you have far more power than you know... Something I'm still trying to remember.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get to sleep. It's abt 2 AM and I've got a meeting tomorrow w my case manager about looking into job opportunities. ==;;

Pleasant Dreams, All. Love you~✨💕🌸

#mika-talks #friends n stuffs #signal boost #emotional rants

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raefill · 6 years

Note

I would legit love to hear you answers to every single question. I don't know if you feel like actually doing them all, but if you did... I'm JUST SAYING I'D READ THE ANSWERS, ok.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yeaaaah but my romantic prospects are pretty bleak tbh, I graduate and move away in a few months

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No, not really. But I’m not mad about it anymore.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”CUTE BABY CLOSE BY !!!!!!!!!

4: What’s something you really want right now?to cry, i’m having the big sads

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?always

6: Do you like the beach?i love the beach!!!!!!!!! i grew up in a seaside town, the beach feels like the best parts of home

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?yes ?? it was cramped and uncomfortable

8: What’s the background on your cell?the photo of me, san, kahl, chez, frau, bagel and spags in the louvre

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?mine(right now), Thea’s, Lizzie’s, .. Keir’s?

10: Do you like your phone?yeah but i’d like it more if the screen wasn’t so cracked

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?lol no, it’s definitely not

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?i genuinely don’t remember !

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?rottweiler, i love dogs that look a little mean but have big hearts

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?pffffft, that’s hard to answer but i’d say generally emotional, most of the time it’s harder to get rid of emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?both ?! i want to support the breeding of endangered animals that happens in zoos and see the cute animals but also i love a good rembrandt ?!

16: Are you tired?exhausted

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?since i was born

18: Are they a relative?my mother!

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not a fucking chance

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?a few hours ago, i think

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?i don’t believe there’s a way to know nor do i think love works that way

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?hell yeah i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none!

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?“if you make bad choices, own them” - my dad

25: What’s on your mind?god, everything, idk im having a high key anxiety day

26: Do you have any tattoos?one pretty big one on my thigh

27: What is your favorite color?black !!!!!!!!!!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?maybe tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes

29: Who are you texting?uhhh, no one? everyone is asleep

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?all the time, my gut rarely lies

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes, his name is keir and he’s one of my best friends

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?i mean i’m dating someone so i fucking hope so

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?no ? i dont think ? i’ve had people say they’re big or the colour is interesting but idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?i’d cheer her on

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?yes!

38: What do your friends call you?rae ?

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?pffft, yah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?my knee

42: What is it from?i fell over my own computer chair

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mum, i think

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?not right now, most i just wear my plain black docs

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?no, i just tie is back

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?no, i really dont like my ears, idk why

48: Do you make supper for your family?yeah, my mum and step dad can’t cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?ofc it does? what kind of bedroom doesn’t have a door? get these pretentious loft bedrooms out of my face

50: Top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3, youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?plenty!

52: Does anything on your body hurt?period pains are all the rage today

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?yeah but i don’t tend to cry until they’ve already left so i look like i take them just fine

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?water......... this morning

55: How is your hair?fine? a bit damaged from the cold weather

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?wish i was still asleep

57: Do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?i dont fucking know

59: Green or purple grapes?GREEN or get out of my face

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?tomorrow~

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?yes

62: When will be the next time you text someone?tomorrow!

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?probably in bed still, but asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, i was getting over the end of a four year relationship

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?no

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?no

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?this sucks

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?ten! and they’re mostly your fics corey, go figure

71: How many fingers do you have?ten

72: What is your ringtone?i dont know, my phone is always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months?22 ~

74: Where is your Mum right now?sleeping in bed probably, idfk, she lives hours away

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?we grew up and grew apart but we were still okay until i had about four-six months of depression where i had to stop myself from doing something stupid daily and he didn’t notice despite us living together and sharing a bedroom (and those times i told him and he shrugged)

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?yes! i still love them very much

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?annabelle

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?yes, there’s some grad students in the psych department called mike, they all look kinda the same too

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?yeah, i miss being able to do that regularly

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?more than i can count, my polyamorous ass has a crush on about seven people currently

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m talking to one of them

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?i’d literally never do this

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?depends which drugs and how often, no one cares about a joint every few months

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?i spilled my popcorn and managed to hide that i had spilled it from my date pahaha

87: Who was your last received call from?my mum, wow it sounds like i talk to my mum a lot more than i do

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?yes, i hate bugs, give me the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?time, energy, patience, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?no, i’m not someone who trusts easily

91: Do you sleep with your window open?only in the summer

92: Do you get along with girls?yes, anyone that doesn’t get on with someone because of their gender is an asshole

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?nope

94: Does sex mean love?hell no, it can be an expression of it but no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?yeah she wold be freaking the fuck out because she’s locked in a room!

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?no, actually, i haven’t

97: Did you sleep alone this week?yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?yes ?

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?no, not at all

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?one of my besties, holly

#this took forever #but i definitely feel more tired now #rae answers #xenophonspeaks

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roboticspacecase · 7 years

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Tagged by @angelofmysteries Thanks for the tag!

RULES: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

🌸 LAST…

Drink: Cherry Coke because it’s one of the faves Last phone call: @donutsornonuts because I had to make sure he was awake this morning :p Last text message: My dad ‘cause he had to pick me up from work Last song I listened to : At my job they play shitty little loops of songs over and over, so like. Probably something dumb. Last time I cried: I think I watched a sad thing on Facebook the other day.

🌸 HAVE YOU EVER…

Been cheated on: Yeeeah. That was...messy. Kissed someone and regretted it: Ohohohoho yes. Been depressed: Right this moment, in fact. Been drunk and thrown up: Ahahahahaha oooh yeah. Only like twice, but boi both times were hell. Kissed a stranger: I’ve kissed MANY people in my life. Some definitely strangers :p Drank hard liquor: That’s the ONLY thing I’ll drink, fam. This right here is a vodka and rum girl. Lost glasses/contacts: Can’t wear contacts, but I defo have lost glasses before. Been arrested: Got REAL close once. I was in Big Trouble™ once and I couldn’t help but laugh at the rude ass cop dealing with me. Turned someone down: Eh, yeah, once or twice. Cried when someone died: I don’t grieve properly. Idfk if it’s some actual problem in my brain or what, but I don’t process things like that in a normal/healthy way.

🌸 IN THE PAST YEAR, HAVE YOU…

Made a new friend: I couldn’t name them all if I tried tbh :D Laughed until you cried: Yup Met someone who changed you: Absofruitly Found out who your true friends were: Yupp Found out someone was talking about you: Just today, actually. Fuck that bitch tbh

🌸 GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life: Four or five, give or take. Do you have any pets: Three kitties, Reaper. Lucifer, and VooDoo :3 Do you want to change your name: Eeeeh, I like it but also I wish I didn’t have something so common. What time did you wake up this morning: EeeeeightAM What were you doing last night: Drew something slightly NSFW for a friend and looked for new music. Name something you cannot wait for: Being stable in life. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Probably? I’ve worked a lot of customer service, so I wouldn’t doubt it. What’s getting on your nerves rn: My lack of motivation and constant rage. Blood type: O Positive. I only know because I got super close to bleeding to death once. Told the guy that saved my life that I wanted to kick him in the face while I was delirious because the stitches were the only thing I could feel and they HURT. Nicknames: I literally go by so many names, I couldn’t list them all. Love being called Robo, though :D Zodiac sign: Libra, boi. Pronouns: She/Her Favourite tv show: G R A V I T Y F A L L S Hair colour: White, naturally. People used to ask if I was an albino, but really it was because I had boiling milk spilled on my head at like, two. Didn’t have hair until I was about 4 and when it did grow in it was snow white. Got darker as I got older and now I just dye it a lot :p Long or short: Kinda long, I’m growing it out real long tho :D Crushes: Ahahahahahaha Tattoos: Not yet, but I’m planning on a few. Righty or lefty: Mostly right but I can use my left for a lot of things.

🌸 FIRSTS…

First surgery: Tonsils. Sucked real bad on top of morning sickness. First piercing: Ears when I was like, twelve. I have a few more now >:D First best friend: Her name was Stormy (cool name, right??) Haven’t talked to her in years, though. I think she might be married now?? Idk First sport you joined: I THINK it was soccer. I got strong legs, so when I kicked the ball that fucker FLEW. If we’re counting dance as a sport then I was a ballerina for 7 years before that. First vacation: Disneyland when I was 10. It was fun but my family is awful so it had its ups and downs.

🌸 RIGHT NOW…

Eating: Hot Cheetos :D Drinking: Nothin’ I’m about to: Punch a wall because Tumblr is being slow and not letting me type quickly. This has taken me an hour and a half to do, no joke. Listening: Cry Baby - The Neighborhood Want kids: I already got one but maybe another one at some point.

🌸 WHICH IS BETTER?

Lips or eyes: Eyes boi Hugs or kisses: Hugs. Mouths are gross tbh. I’ll still give kisses if I like the person, tho :p Shorter or taller: Taller. Not hard to do with how short I am tho :p Older or younger: Older. I’m at an age where anything younger is too young and immature. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. I CAN’T handle loud people. Hook up or relationship: Seeing as I’m demisexual, relationship. Troublemaker or hesitant: As long as they’re not a dick, I don’t care.

🌸 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Miracles: Yup. Love at first sight: Eh, maybe. Haven’t seen it happen, but maybe someday I will. Heaven: Kinda? Santa Claus: Nope

With how slow this is making me type I CAN’T tag people, so 25ish people should just pretend I tagged them.

#personal #I feel like I've told everyone my life story now #About me

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lonesome-dreamsss · 5 years

Text

Coffee is Always Fun When Mixed with a Monster.

Idfk anymore. This is like the only cute/fluffy thing I will ever write in my entire life....Okay so that's a lie, but I usually write sad ass shit because I'm Satan and that's cool. Anyway this some nice Irondad for you all because we stan Irondad in this household:))

Pls tell me if it's good and all that because I actually think this is kinda bad, but that's because I like to shame myself all the time:,)

Okay I'll stop talking because I'm annoying and you just wanna read this. Have fun friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was around 3am and Peter had just got back from patrol. There had been a few muggings and one attempted robbery. With his quick skills, Peter stopped them, although he had gotten hit a few too many times. He was sporting a large cut under his eye and multiple bruises were scattered across his cheek and neck. It wasn't really a problem due to his enhanced healing. All the injuries would most likely be gone by morning.

The one big problem was running on like 3 hours of sleep. He had school tomorrow and then would be going to Stark Industries to hang out with Tony. It would be a long day, that's for sure.

He slipped off his suit and slid into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was out like a light.

Peter was awoken to the sound of his alarm blaring in his ear. He groaned and rolled out of bed. May was in the kitchen rushing to make pancakes. "Oh hey sleepyhead." She stopped working for a moment and pressed a kiss to Peter's head.

"...hi." His voice was thick with sleep.

"Go get dressed. The pancakes will be done by the time you finish." She smiled at him and turned back to the stove.

"Mmm, okay." He stumbled back into his room and threw on some clean clothes. He brushed his teeth and hair, then walked back into the kitchen.

The pancakes were on a plate and May was packing her bag for work. "Alright Pete, I'll see you later yea?"

"Yea, I'm going to Mr. Stark’s after school for a bit." He shoved a pancake in his mouth.

"I know, he told me. Have fun, love you kid." She pressed another kiss to his head.

"Love you too!" He called to her as she walked to door, she gave him a smile and then she was gone. He gulped down the rest of the pancakes and rushed out the door so he would make it to school on time. Sadly the teen didn’t make it on time. His first period teacher wasn’t really surprised though. It’s not like he wasn’t late everyday. He had gotten detention more times than he can count, but he wasn’t really bothered by it. It was only for about 30 minutes after school on every other Tuesday. He didn’t go to Stark Industries on Tuesday’s and that’s what really mattered. He would never miss a day with Tony. Ever. They always had fun together whether it be because they were working on their suits or just because they were watching movies and talking while eating pizza. It felt like he had a dad again and it was a great feeling.

The day went by fast. Nothing really happened except for a comment or two from Flash whenever they passed each other in the hallway. Peter had learned to ignore it over time. The things Flash said wouldn’t matter in the future and plus Peter rather it be him getting bullied and not anyone else. He could take it, someone else might not be able to. No one Peter knew outside of school knew about Flash. So May, Tony, and the other Avengers. Ned and MJ told him he should tell Tony, but if he did Flash would be dead and there was nothing that anyone could do about it. He had a worse feeling about Natasha if she found out. She would torture Flash and then kill him. Nat would make it more painful then Tony or anyone else could. He was going to keep it on the down low for as long as he could.

Pretty soon the last bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Peter gathered his belongings and made his way to his locker with Ned. They talked about his internship because Ned could never seem to get enough of it. He always seemed amazed that Peter knew The Tony Stark. The same look of excitement would cross his features whenever the billionaire's name was mentioned.

He knew most people didn’t believe him about his internship because Stark Industries only has college students as interns and because why would anyone want Peter Parker as their intern? At least that’s what Flash has said in the past. Although everyone at SI always reminded him how well loved he was so Flash was definitely wrong about no one wanting him as an intern or friend.

Peter shook his head and slung his backpack. He waved goodbye to his friend and then walked to the front of the building. As usual Happy was waiting for him with that grouchy look on his face. Despite the look on his face Peter knew that the older man had grown to like him. They had to spent a lot of time together due to Happy being his driver to and from the tower so they had become sort of friends. The older man would deny that fact that he actually liked Peter. Everyone knew he was lying, but they didn’t question him. “Hey, Happy.” He greeted his driver and that’s when he realized he sounded tired.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Happy glanced at the teen from the corner of his eye.

“Uh...like 3 hours, I think.” He replied sheepishly.

“Kid, I know you look up to Tony and all, but I’m begging you, please don’t pick up his terrible sleeping habits.” Peter snorted at that.

“Ok, ok. I won’t.” That man just sighed and shook his head.

They arrived at the tower a little while later. Peter grabbed his backpack and thanked Happy. He got out of the car and made his way inside the glass building. The receptionist, whose name was Susan, looked up with a smile and greeted him before telling him that Tony was in his lab. The teen nodded and gave her a smile before heading to the elevator. When he stepped in the elevator Friday spoke up. “Hello, Peter. Mr. Stark is in his lab.”

“Hey, Friday! Thanks!”

“You sound tired.” The A.I. could always read him like a book.

“I am, but I’ll be fine. I’ll just steal some of Mr. Stark’s coffee.” A nice cup of coffee would definitely wake him up. It usually always did. If not he would find something else to help wake him up. Friday didn’t answer, but if she was human he would guess she would roll her eyes.

The elevator ride didn’t last long. Peter stepped out of the machine and walked towards the lab doors. He swung them open and threw his backpack on the ground. Tony was messing with a piece of his suit near the back of the room. “Hey, Mr. Stark.” The older man looked up and smiled.

“Hey kid. How’s it going?”

“Good. Do you have any coffee by any chance?” Peter smiled, sweetly

“Actually I do. It’s over by the mini fridge. Do I want to ask why you need it?” Tony looked at the kid, his kid.

“No, you don’t.” He practically ran to the mini fridge. He took the coffee pot and dumped a way to large amount of the black liquid into one of the cups. He drank about half of it within a minute and made his way back to his mentor. The billionaire just shook his head with a smile.

After a few hours of working and joking around the two men decided to ignore the suits for a little while. Peter’s tiredness was starting to come back. If he was being honest the coffee didn’t really do much. He had to drink about 4 cups just to feel slightly less tired. That would be the downside of being bit by a radioactive spider, no medicine or coffee worked unless he took a huge amount of it. He decided to check the fridge and see if there was anything that might be able to help get rid of his tiredness.

When he opened the fridge door he spotted a monster energy drink. An idea popped into his head. With a smile on his face he grabbed the monster and grabbed his cup of coffee. “Hey, Mr. Stark, how much energy do you think I would get if I mixed my coffee with this monster?”

“Pete, I thought you were smarter than that.” Tony looked at the coffee and monster in Peter’s arms.

“I am smart!” The teen mocked a hurt expression. “This is a great idea. How dare you shame it.”

“Are you trying to give yourself a heart attack?”

“No, but nothing else works. My spider weirdness makes it so difficult to not be tired unless I sleep for like five years.” This earned an eye roll from Peter’s mentor.

“Kid, we both know that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe if you got more than 3 hours of sleep everyday this wouldn’t be an issue.” Peter took a turn rolling his eyes.

“Funny coming from you Mr. Stark. You’re the king of not sleeping for like 3 days straight.”

“Watch it kid. I’ll strap you down in your bed and make you sleep.” They both laughed at that. “Okay fine. I’ll let you drink that, but you can’t tell May about it. Got it?”

“Deal.” After they shook hands, Peter popped open the monster and dumped it into his coffee. He had a satisfied look on his face as he watched the drinks mix in the cup. He waited a moment or two before taking a tiny sip. His eyes lit up in delight. “This is actually really good.”

“You better savor that because after that cup I am never letting you mix those again.” Peter snickered and started to take larger gulps of the mixture.

The boy finished his drink and within minutes he was practically jumping off the walls. Tony had really started to regret letting Peter drink that stupid drink. He was talking a mile a minute about absolutely everything he could think of and the billionaire was getting a headache.

Even after 4 hours of working, talking, and messing around the kid was still bounding with energy. It was Friday, so that made is slightly better. At least that meant Peter could stay up and wait for the energy to wear off. Even if it was Friday, May would still be beyond mad at them both for letting this occur.

May Parker is one to not be messed with. His aunt is almost as terrifying as Natasha when she’s mad. She would not hold back. At all. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad bit scared.

One thing Tony Stark would never do again was let Peter Parker drink a coffee and a monster. He had said that many times over the course of the evening causing Peter to snort each time. It was always interesting and eccentric hanging out with IronMan, but the teen wouldn’t have it any other way.

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