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#i'm sorry if you were expecting art. i am still going to try to make something even though i'm not promising anything.
heymrspatel · 2 years
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I’m really disappointed, I thought you were going to participate in Kinktober. Kind of let down not going to lie.
......well shit, i'm sorry?
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cho-aaacho · 1 month
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I looked at you, I thought it was love
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Masterlist
Summary : "I talk as if I know all about love, and I act as if I'm going to cry, saying I was truthful back then and saying it hurts me too. I'm sorry."
Warning : Angst
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"Satoru-kun..."
A weary sigh escapes, audible when that name is uttered. Satoru doesn't turn around; instead, he remains silent, sweating, as if weighed down by something.
After three years of his absence, you found yourself summoning the courage to meet with your ex-boyfriend. 
Though you hadn't planned on it, a single thought lingered in your mind: you should meet him. You wanted to explain everything and clarify your relationship with him.
"Satoru-kun?"
Your voice echoes, calling once again with a slightly emphasized tenderness, puzzled by Satoru's lack of response. He had never been like this before; he always cared about you and loved everything about you, making it clear that you were his. 
You could always feel the tenderness of his love, the smoothness of his lips on yours, the gentle kiss on your neck, and the way he hugged your presence within his warm body.
Also, there are the tranquil eyes that imprint the soul, the serene quartz that clouds your thoughts, and the soft strands that evoke memories, most of which you wish not to forget.
But when did he change into this? Maybe when that woman came into his life—his old friend, he claimed—the one who had been involved with him since high school.
You couldn't wrap your mind around how someone like him could betray you. Even though you heard it from others and denied it at first after seeing him embrace that woman gently, kiss her in public, and boldly announce her as his new girlfriend, everything around you seems to fall.
You both were still young at the time, you knew that very well. Such things often happen in young love.
Satoru inquires, "How did you find me?"
"Haibara-san mentioned your art gallery; it looks like I'm the only person you haven't informed about this," you respond.
As you tried to compose yourself, you noticed a faint smile on his face. It was the same smile you'd always seen, yet there was something different about Satoru's eyes...
...they seemed
empty.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "I didn't expect you to come here."
He seems to be trying to not care and hide the truth that he yearns for you, eagerly awaiting your return, longing for your sweet scent and the lovely endearments as in the old days. 
"It's been three years; how's your day, Satoru-kun? Are you still with her?"
"My day?" He chuckled. "Not as good as when you're around."
The void is engulfed in silence, hanging thick in the air as Satoru wrestles with his tears, battling to keep his emotions in check. A painful flashback hits him like a tidal wave when he sees you.
Looking back on it only fuels his frustration, leaving behind a pain that leaves no visible scars on his fragile heart. 
Why does everything feel so bad? So agonizing? Even the surroundings seem out of place and surreal.
Satoru asks softly. "Are you seeking revenge? By leaving me and going with him? That's what you want to tell me?"
You laugh amidst tears. "Look at yourself before speaking."
"Are you here because you're marrying someone else?" he asked. "I couldn't care less about that man, but why are you here to inflict such pain? Am I the one at fault? Tell me."
You bite your lower lip. "Well, you're the one who dumped me back then, aren't you? You chose her over me. Did you think I didn't know? For a long time, I held onto faith in you, but you shattered my trust. So why are you causing me more pain when I couldn't do the same to you?"
There's a pause, and you continue. "I'm sorry if my actions have caused you suffering; yes, I know, I can't forgive what you did. But I need to heal my heart now, and unfortunately, you're not the one to do that. I'm sorry if that sounds naive or perhaps cruel."
"I hope I still love you the way I loved you in the past, but unfortunately everything has changed. I don't want to lie to myself." You added and peeked at the wedding invitation on the table where your name and Geto Suguru's are on it.
Is it all right? All of this? Did you really want this? 
He stood up and reached out to you, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace, and hugging you from behind, keeping you by his side for a while. You could feel him crying, trying not to let himself be swept away by the sensation, and convincing himself that all of this was just a dream. 
He bit his lower lip, checking if it was a dream or reality, only to realize that he was hurting himself by doing so.
He leaned down, placed his chin on your shoulder, and whispered, "I'm not afraid of you leaving; I'm afraid you'll forget me. I don't want to die with us hating each other. Please, come back to me, I'm sorry."
He continues. "Could we still meet, even though the world we tread upon doesn't allow us to meet each other? Will you always be the love of my life?"
But why now? 
Why, after you've found another man who's willing to heal your heart? Why did this happen to you?
Was Satoru just acting? Or were all the things you saw in the past just illusions? How could Satoru act in such a way and make you feel at fault?
Was he trying to manipulate you?
You never know.
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pterodactyl-hater · 2 months
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Just not him
・❥・ Your situationship doesn’t like that you were seen with another man
・❥・word count: 1.2k
・❥・warnings: Homelander and The Deep (they’re their own warnings), fade to black smut, Homie is a little toxic, supe!reader
・❥・I don't write smut because I'm not good at it, but I'm not good at it because I don't write it, a viscous cycle.
Also sorry if this doesn't make much sense I was in and out of consciousness while writing 😝
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"No. No way am I doing that."
"(Y/n), your sexuality is part of your brand. May I remind you your approval rates are going down by the minute." Madelyn sighs.
"Yeah, I get that, but you expect me to go out there and flirt with The Deep? I'd be making a fool of myself." Your cheeks are hot as you try to defend yourself.
"Ah, ah, you'd be making a spectacle, and that's exactly what we need right now. Drama, scandal, rumors."
"And it has to be him?" You deadpanned. "It can't be anyone else? What about Homelander?" You felt yourself becoming desperate.
“Homelander? And you?” A smile breaks out on her face, but she tries to hide it. “I don’t mean any offense, but you two aren’t an ideal pair up.” She talks to you like you’re a child. You fight the urge to tell her that you and Homelander are actually a very good pair. “Anyways, recently you and The Deep have been trending, as a couple.” You scoff.
Recently on a podcast with some man you’re sure is very popular in a different crowd, The Deep confessed that he found you to be the most attractive member of The Seven. Ever since then a burst of videos were posted of cute moments between the two of you, which turned into edits, which turned into fan art, which turned into fanfiction. You fought the urge to gag, who even makes that stuff? From a marketing perspective, it made for great business, a romance angle brought new eyes to the scene. To you, it was demeaning.
“Fine. But I’m not going to take this any further than a few flirtatious remarks at tomorrow’s gala.” You remind yourself it’s not good to anger someone like Madelyn, she’s scarier than she lets on. Madelyn nods and you walk out of her office, much more embarrassed than you were when you entered. As you stormed down the hallway to the safety of your own home, none other than The Deep greeted you.
Speak of the devil and he shall arrive.
“Hey! How are you doing today, cutie?” He starts. He practically salivates as he walks beside you. You feel like you’re gonna be sick.
“I’m not in the mood right now.”
“C’mon, why don’t you let me take you out for a drink or two? We’re supposed to be all over each other tom-“
“Not in the mood!” You cut him off. Your walking increases to practically sprinting until you reach your home. You slam the door shut behind you. You shrugged off your clothes and crawled into bed. No way in hell were you getting out of bed until the last possible minute.
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You stood, still as a statue. You wore a deep purple outfit. The silks enveloped your body in a sexy, yet elegant way. You had never felt more bored in your life. The Deep had his hand positioned on your lower back, where it had been all night. You had already talked to everyone important, you made sure the photographers got enough shots of you coquettishly whispering in The Deep’s ear, or leaning on him while being in conversation. You had taken notice to the fact that Homelander had yet to arrive. The gala would be ending soon, and without an appearance from the leader of The Seven himself. His absence further ruined your mood.
You and Homelander were in a bit of a situationship. There was no official label for your relationship. He’d come to your house just to sleep with you one day, then act like you two were strangers the next. You had learned to accept that nothing serious would come from the relationship. But there was still a part of you that wished he had come tonight.
“(Y/n), big smiles.” The Deep reminded. “Why do you look so fucking depressed?” His voice was low enough that it would look like casual banter to any outsider. His hold on the small of your back grew tight.
“Back off and mind your own business.” You said through gritted teeth. You forced a coy smile and blush onto your face as if he had just said something really flustering to you.
“Hey you two!” You felt your brows furrow. Sometime between two minutes ago, when you last scanned the room, and now Homelander had entered, and without you noticing. Your fake smile melted into a real one.
“Homelander.” You greeted. The Deep pulled you in impossibly closer. He didn’t say anything, just nodded. You had a feeling he was scared of Homelander.
“Do you mind if I borrow them?” Homelander asked The Deep. All of you knew it wasn’t a question, just a thinly veiled demand. “You seem to have them chained down.” He laughed, referring to the vice grip currently on your back. After a second the hold was gone, The Deep had already walked off to get himself another drink.
It was just you and Homelander now. He moved close to you to whisper in your ear.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked with a plastic smile. You felt your stomach drop.
“My job.” You shot back with an equally fake smile. You watched as his cheeks turned red with anger.
“No.” He grabbed your wrist. “We’re leaving.” You planted your feet in the ground.
“Excuse you?”
“I said, we’re leaving.” He hissed.
“They’ll have my head if I’m seen leaving with you.”
“They can fucking suck it up. I’m The Homelander. I get who I want, when I want. We’re leaving.” He dragged you by the wrist to pull you out the back doors. You were acutely aware that all the photographers turned away their cameras after seeing the expression on Homelander’s face.
The cold night air curled around your exposed skin, but you had no time to even breathe it in before your head hit the wall behind you and Homelander’s lips were on yours. His hands gripped your waist as he pulled you closer to him. You push him away, sucking in deep breaths.
“What’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?” You ask breathlessly. You can’t say you don’t enjoy this possessiveness, but he’s never made such a scene for you before, especially in public. He doesn’t answer before pulling you back into another hungry kiss.
He pulls away, his breath hot against your neck. “You’re mine. All fucking mine. No one else can have you, especially not that fucker Deep.” He pants. His grip tightened in a way you’re sure would bruise if it wasn’t for your invulnerable skin. “Fucking say it. Say that you’re mine.” A tone of pathetic desperation creeps into his voice. You smile and curl your fingers in his hair.
You wish Madelyn could see you now. Not a good pair, as if.
“I’m yours, Homelander.” You assure him. He whines against your collarbone. You’re sure tomorrow he’ll go back to pretending none of this happened, but for now you revel in his attention. “Why don’t you show them that I belong to you?”
It’s so petty, just a cheap way to stick it in Madelyn’s face. Homelander grins as he tries to suck a hickey on your neck. Both of your smiles quickly faded at the realization that there’s no way to bruise invincible skin. “Shit.” You cursed under your breath. Homelander looked up at you with his big blue eyes. You run your fingers through his hair.
“I’m sure you could show them in a different way.” You smirked.
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empty-movement · 5 months
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May I ask what scanners / equipment / software you're using in the utena art book project? I'm an artist and half the reason I rarely do traditional art is because I'm never happy with the artwork after it's scanned in. But the level of detail even in the blacks of Utena's uniform were all captured so beautifully! And even the very light colors are showing up so well! I'd love to know how you manage!
You know what's really fun? This used to be something you put in your site information section, the software and tools used! Not something that's as normal anymore, but let's give it a go, sorry it's long because I don't know what's new information and what's not! Herein: VANNA'S 'THIS IS AS SPECIFIC AS MY BREAK IS LONG' GUIDE/AIMLESS UNEDITED RAMBLE ABOUT SCANNING IMAGES
Scanning: Modern scanners, by and large, are shit for this. The audience for scanning has narrowed to business and work from home applications that favor text OCR, speed, and efficiency over archiving and scanning of photos and other such visual media. It makes sense--there was a time when scanning your family photographs and such was a popular expected use of a scanner, but these days, the presumption is anything like that is already digital--what would you need the scanner to do that for? The scanner I used for this project is the same one I have been using for *checks notes* a decade now. I use an Epson Perfection V500. Because it is explicitly intended to be a photo scanner, it does threebthings that at this point, you will pay a niche user premium for in a scanner: extremely high DPI (dots per inch), extremely wide color range, and true lossless raws (BMP/TIFF.) I scan low quality print media at 600dpi, high quality print media at 1200 dpi, and this artbook I scanned at 2400 dpi. This is obscene and results in files that are entire GB in size, but for my purposes and my approach, the largest, clearest, rawest copy of whatever I'm scanning is my goal. I don't rely on the scanner to do any post-processing. (At these sizes, the post-processing capacity of the scanner is rendered moot, anyway.) I will replace this scanner when it breaks by buying another identical one if I can find it. I have dropped, disassembled to clean, and abused this thing for a decade and I can't believe it still tolerates my shit. The trade off? Only a couple of my computers will run the ancient capture software right. LMAO. I spent a good week investigating scanners because of the insane Newtype project on my backburner, and the quality available to me now in a scanner is so depleted without spending over a thousand on one, that I'd probably just spin up a computer with Windows 7 on it just to use this one. That's how much of a difference the decade has made in what scanners do and why. (Enshittification attacks! Yes, there are multiple consumer computer products that have actually declined in quality over the last decade.)
Post-processing: Photoshop. Sorry. I have been using Photoshop for literally decades now, it's the demon I know. While CSP is absolutely probably the better piece of software for most uses (art,) Photoshop is...well it's in the name. In all likelihood though, CSP can do all these things, and is a better product to give money to. I just don't know how. NOTENOTENOTE: Anywhere I discuss descreening and print moire I am specifically talking about how to clean up *printed media.* If you are scanning your own painting, this will not be a problem, but everything else about this advice will stand! The first thing you do with a 2400 dpi scan of Utena and Anthy hugging? Well, you open it in Photoshop, which you may or may not have paid for. Then you use a third party developer's plug-in to Descreen the image. I use Sattva. Now this may or may not be what you want in archiving!!! If fidelity to the original scan is the point, you may pass on this part--you are trying to preserve the print screen, moire, half-tones, and other ways print media tricks the eye. If you're me, this tool helps translate the raw scan of the printed dots on the page into the smooth color image you see in person. From there, the vast majority of your efforts will boil down to the following Photoshop tools: Levels/Curves, Color Balance, and Selective Color. Dust and Scratches, Median, Blur, and Remove Noise will also be close friends of the printed page to digital format archiver. Once you're happy with the broad strokes, you can start cropping and sizing it down to something reasonable. If you are dealing with lots of images with the same needs, like when I've scanned doujinshi pages, you can often streamline a lot of this using Photoshop Actions.
My blacks and whites are coming out so vivid this time because I do all color post-processing in Photoshop after the fact, after a descreen tool has been used to translate the dot matrix colors to solids they're intended to portray--in my experience trying to color correct for dark and light colors is a hot mess until that process is done, because Photoshop sees the full range of the dots on the image and the colors they comprise, instead of actually blending them into their intended shades. I don't correct the levels until I've descreened to some extent.
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As you can see, the print pattern contains the information of the original painting, but if you try to correct the blacks and whites, you'll get a janky mess. *Then* you change the Levels:
If you've ever edited audio, then dealing with photo Levels and Curves will be familiar to you! A well cut and cleaned piece of audio will not cut off the highs and lows, but also will make sure it uses the full range available to it. Modern scanners are trying to do this all for you, so they blow out the colors and increase the brightness and contrast significantly, because solid blacks and solid whites are often the entire thing you're aiming for--document scanning, basically. This is like when audio is made so loud details at the high and low get cut off. Boo.
What I get instead is as much detail as possible, but also at a volume that needs correcting:
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Cutting off the unused color ranges (in this case it's all dark), you get the best chance of capturing the original black and white range:
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In some cases, I edit beyond this--for doujinshi scans, I aim for solid blacks and whites, because I need the file sizes to be normal and can't spend gigs of space on dust. For accuracy though, this is where I'd generally stop.
For scanning artwork, the major factor here that may be fucking up your game? Yep. The scanner. Modern scanners are like cheap microphones that blow out the audio, when what you want is the ancient microphone that captures your cat farting in the next room over. While you can compensate A LOT in Photoshop and bring out blacks and whites that scanners fuck up, at the end of the day, what's probably stopping you up is that you want to use your scanner for something scanners are no longer designed to do well. If you aren't crazy like me and likely to get a vintage scanner for this purpose, keep in mind that what you are looking for is specifically *a photo scanner.* These are the ones designed to capture the most range, and at the highest DPI. It will be a flatbed. Don't waste your time with anything else.
Hot tip: if you aren't scanning often, look into your local library or photo processing store. They will have access to modern scanners that specialize in the same priorities I've listed here, and many will scan to your specifications (high dpi, lossless.)
Ahem. I hope that helps, and or was interesting to someone!!!
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What Was I Made For? - Charles Leclerc
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<word count - 1251>
Another day: done. Another day that had felt like it had been wasted doing your ever so boring job while you watched pedestrians walk in and out, smiling as their carefree hours whizzed by. 
You served coffee after coffee, frappe after frappe, and each one took you an inch closer to insanity. As soon as the clock struck five, you threw your apron into your locker and traded it for your jacket. 
Just as you were about to slip out of the employees only back exit, you heard your boss collaring your name. You were just going to pretend you couldn't hear and leave anyway, but there was no ignoring her when she tapped you on the shoulder.
"Y/N, I'm going to need you to put in a few extra hours next week since we're pretty short on staff and we've been really busy lately," she smiled, and the urge to punch her in the face had never been stronger. The last thing you wanted was to put in more hours of your life doing the least rewarding job you had ever had. 
"Do I get paid any extra or anything?" you asked. You only did the job for the money, since you liked to have some independence from Charles. As expected, he had offered to support your life since he made more than enough, but you wanted to do something with your life. But this wasn't it.
"Sorry honey, the best I can do is more coffee coupons," she chirped, and you wondered how she was always so cheerful and happy. It was almost envious. Well, it would be if it wasn't so damn infuriating and irritating. 
"Just send me through the hours," you tutted, not wasting anymore time in that god forsaken coffee shop than you had to. Walking back home, you couldn't help but frown at all of the people around you, enjoying what they did for a living. 
They were all making names for themselves, leading fulfilling lives and living their dreams. And then there was you, serving coffees just finding a way to spend time. 
What were you doing with your life? Who were you supposed to be? Why did you have to live through groundhog day every day?
As per usual, you walked past the art gallery, boasting creativity and colour, and the jewellery stores with glittering pieces that you wished you had made. Just so someone would recognize something you had done. 
Finally, you arrived at the safe haven that was the apartment you shared with Charles. He wasn't back yet, since he had gone for dinner with some friends for the evening.
You got yourself comfortable, taking a shower and snuggling up on the couch. As you watched a movie, you couldn't help but feel saddened by the actor's success.
They were household names, doing what they loved for a living. And there you were. Sat on your couch counting the hours away.
You just wished you could have been like them - even if just a little bit. Hell, you just wanted to be someone. You just wanted be something.
These thoughts rushed through your head for a while, so much to the point where you failed to notice the movie had ended and you were staring at a blank screen with watery eyes.
You also failed to notice the front door opening and closing as a tear of disdain and jealousy rolled down your cheek. "Hey, amor. How are you?" Charles asked, but you couldn't snap out of your darkened haze.
"Y/N? Are you alright?" He asked again, placing a hand on your shoulder and shaking you slightly.
"What am I doing with my life?" You asked, your eyes still glued to the black screen. You didn't hesitate to ask, there was no point. "What?" he asked, clearly not understanding the question.
"Who am I?" you asked, and Charles just looked at you, trying to figure out what you were asking. This was so out of the blue since you were normally a happy, cheerful kind of person.  "Exactly, I'm no one," you said, leaning forward and resting your elbows on your knees after he didn't respond.
"I just serve shitty coffee to shitty people and that is my life," you continued, the frustration building as you spoke. "Nobody knows who I am and nobody cares," you rambled, shrugging his hand away.
"Baby, you know that's not true," he said, struggling to come up with something to help you snap out of the stupor. He wondered how long you had felt like this for it to all come out so suddenly and strongly. "There's no point in trying that, Charles. I know it is,"
"I used to be untouchable," you sighed, thinking back to when you met Charles and what had lead up to it. You had worked your ass off like you had through your whole life. You tried hard in school and did everything you could to contribute to your community and others around you. 
"I used to be amazing, and now look at me," you babbled. You were living your dream, but you left your job to move to Monaco with Charles. "I threw it all away," you whispered, not wanting Charles to think it was his fault in the slightest. 
"But you are amazing," he tried to console, his heart breaking to hear you talk about yourself like this. "Not anymore," you said, thinking about what you could have been. Long distance could have worked and maybe you'd be happy right now.
"You can be whatever you want to be, you know that right?" he asked, not realising what he had set himself up for. "I'm not talented enough to be a singer, I'm not pretty enough to be a model, I'm not charismatic enough to be a talk show host, I'm not driven enough to have my dream be my job like you,"
"Everyone already has their lives planned out and are making leaps and bounds towards their end goal, and then there's me. Wasting my time and wallowing in my own self pity," you sighed, and Charles was wracking his brains for something that might help.
"You're still young, baby, you have loads of time to figure it out. And once you do, you have more than enough to get yourself there because you can do anything you put your mind to," he tried to reassure, mentally cursing at himself for how cheesy that sounded.
He hated that you had this opinion of yourself. To him, it didn't matter if you were the most talented, the prettiest, the most charismatic. It just mattered that you were you and he loved you for that. 
"But everyone else has it figured out. Everyone is already someone. You're Charles Leclerc, the face of Ferrari, the man from Monaco, hero to children across the globe. You have a purpose.  And what about me? Well that's exactly it, I'm just me," 
"There's no such thing as 'just me'. You are hard-working beyond belief, you take pride in your job, you care about other people, you're the love of my life. Surely that's enough?" he desperately tried to claw you back out of the slump, but his sweet words couldn't shield the darkness this time.
"Maybe it isn't, not anymore," you mumbled, standing from the couch and shutting yourself in the bedroom, leaving Charles sat on the couch by himself, gobsmacked. He didn't know how to help you realise how brilliant you really were, but you didn't really know either.  
A/N - I went to see Barbie the other night, and this song just destroyed me. I guess it just made me think about things, y'know? If anyone has any requests, feel free to submit them, I adore writing them!
|masterlist|
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yaut-jaknowit · 20 days
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So somehow Gawtin or her human lover get ahold of a strap on :3
False Control
Pairing: Gawtin (female Yautja) x AFAB!Reader
Warnings: Strap on, wlw, lesbian sex, cunnilingus.
Word Count: 3926
Summary: Gawtin comes to you with a silicone dildo. She wants you to use it on her. The first time you are able to fuck her the way she deserve. Despite her allowing you to top her, she's always in control.
Author Note: I know I say this every time but I love our girl Gawtin. Sexy motherfucker who could twist off my head and I'll thank her. Also, I didn't know who was suppose to use it so I took the chance to write about our goddess getting dicked down.
P.s. I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to close asks. I didn't expect nearly thirty to be sitting in my inbox right now. Plus, I'm falling behind in my writing right now. Work has been rough with summer coming and people fucking calling out. So fun.
Masterlist
Ao3
In your hand, the silicone was heavy and thick. A concerned look passed over your features when you glanced up at Gawtin. “This is the average size for a male?” you exclaimed, eyes darting between the fake phallus and those gorgeous purple eyes of hers. Gawtin had given you this after visiting the market today. The two of you have been talk about getting an item like that.
One of her upper mandibles lifted with a smirk. “Yes.” She bent at the waist to pinch your chin between her thick digits. “And that does not even include the knot.” Your eyes widened. You had forgotten that small detail. Males had a knot… part of their breeding and such.
Your bottom lip was caught between dull teeth, eyes raking down her form you knew so well but loved just the same. “I wish I could knot you,” you uttered softly into the air, dazed by checking your green Yautja out.
The grasp on your chin tightened and tugged you towards her. Her warm breath fanning over your face. “Is that so?” All you could do was just nod with your eyes softening. Her long, skinny tongue darted out and teased your lips for a second. “You will not be able to but you have a chance for something else,” she purred with a hint to why she bought that.
It’s the classic Qui-oki visiting his aunty again for the night. Bziut-ty knows the drill by now. Every time you left her dwelling after dropping Oki off, a heavy blush burned your cheeks. Yet, the sister to Gawtin was nonchalant about it. She happily took Qui-oki for the night with no complaints.
You attempted to wrap your fingers around the base of the shaft but came up short. “Are you sure this isn’t going to hurt you?” you couldn’t help but question. This thing would tear you into two without any preparation. For her, it seems like she could take it with little foreplay into the mix. No matter what, you would still do at least some foreplay. If not for her sake, for yours to make you feel more at ease before shoving this massive thing inside of her.
Gawtin chuckled and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I am more than sure, artful one. I want you to watch as it splits me open and I take it fully in. I cannot wait to see that look of surprise on your face.” She grinned and released her hold on your chin with a last kiss.
“Well… if you’re sure,” you trailed off and glanced down the hardwood floors of the house. Gawtin patted your head.
“Do you want to test it now?” Your head snapped to look up at her towering form.
“Like, right now?” It was stupid to question her like that but you couldn’t believe she was wanting to do that now. She just bought it. Well, that’s true. She did just buy it. Who doesn’t want to try a new toy the day you received it.
The forest green Yautja snorted and stepped further into your personal space. A space always welcomed for her. One of her hands splayed across a large portion of your back and pushed you to her. “Yes, this very second.”
Both of you were into your shared bedroom in less than a second. A giddy smile gracing your feature to hide your nerves. Despite her attempt to cool your anxiety, but the fact this thing was massive in your hands… you thought it was going to hurt her. Though, she does a little pain, biting and scratching are always welcomed.
The yellow toy was set on the bed. You stood before her, still fully clothed. Something Gawtin was going to fix. She hooked a claw on the strap of your tank top and pulled on it. Though, she could easily tear it off of you and replace it just the same, she gave you the option to remove it yourself. You raised a brow, eye flickering down to her own clothing.
“Honey, I think it’s you that needs to strip,” you pointed out, nearly demanding your mate to strip before you. Every time, you loved the sight of her muscles and even slightly pronounced breasts from breastfeeding Qui-oki.
Gawtin had to teach you a lesson. The massive female grabbed a handful of the clothe and ripped it straight off of your torso. You didn’t expect less from her and gave the green Yautja a deadpanned look. She ignored it by lowering herself onto her knees and cupping one of your freed breasts now. “I prefer to see you bare and at my will,” she purred and bowed her head to lick at your pebbled nipple. A low groan sounds from the back of your throat.
Your jaw drops at the feeling. “Gawtin, please. Be nice and strip for your mate,” you pleaded with the stubborn female. You saw the fire in her eyes flicker to life. Her tongue trailed up, followed by her lower mandibles up to the vulnerable column of your throat. They carved a path till your jawline before slipping off. You shuttered, body covered in goosebumps.
“Hearing you beg is Paya’s grounds,” she whispered against your ear, tongue ghosting over the shell of you ear. “Be good and ask properly.”
Now, you were beginning to pant, even with the light, little touches she gave to you. With your brows furrowed and lip pushed out, you up at her. “Gawtin, I want to see your body. I’ll be good. I promise. I want to fuck you. You’re so pretty. I want to see you take this dildo. Will you let me?” you rambled and your beautiful mate a look you knew she couldn’t resist.
“That is a good little ooman,” she praised and tapped your cheekbone with a claw. “All you need to do is ask sweetly, just like that.” Gawtin stood back up and stripped her body of any clothing.
Dumbly, all you could do was stand watch each piece of clothing fall away. It was like the first day you saw her naked. Adoration sparkled in your eyes even after the last article was placed to the side. “God, you’re my pretty woman,” you muttered and reached out to squeeze her hips. Your head only reaching her midriff, shoulders level with her hips.
She snorts and motions her head over to the bed. “Get the harness on, artful one. I’ll help adjust,” she ordered with a soft tone but you knew to listen to her. You padded over to the end fo the bed and found the item she told you about.
A black, simple harness that’s been modified for someone of your smaller stature and to fit the tank of a dildo she wants. It was simple enough to pull it up and secure it to your hips. Gawtin’s warm hands helped to tighten the harness so it wouldn’t fall off nor was it too tight. The toy itself was secured as well to the designated spot.
Your hand wraps what you can around the base and gave the firm silicon a few strokes. Your lover lies down on the bed and spreads her legs. You follow after her and kneel between her legs, eyes softly gazing at her. “Can I warm you up, my pretty warrior?” you asked with a hopeful gaze.
The Yautja raised a brow at you, letting the tension build up between you two. Then, her massive head dipped down in permission. You silently cheered and bent down, face to her exposed cunt. Though this wasn’t your first time, you still took in the sight.
Alien, but in a good way. Three clits, though longer than usual. You’ve learned they can grow up to two inches long when aroused. The folds themselves are ribbed and even inside are too. Definitely alien. And you loved it.
Softly, you wrapped your lips around the top clit, the biggest of the three. One of your thumbs runs a path along what would be considered the labia. The pad ghosting over the nubs that lined her entrance. Gawtin’s thighs tensed but refused to clamp down on your head, taking your fragile self into consideration. You lightly suckled on the sensitive nub you pulled into your mouth and ran your tongue over the flushed skin.
Her breath hitched while watching you, resting on her elbows. “Keep going, little one. Do not stop,” she commanded, voice in between soft and firm. Gawtin rolled her hips slightly against your face, your thumbpad teasing her nubs harder. You took it as a sign to press against the little sensitive bumps harder. She responded the way you expected her. A short growl escaped her throat. “That’s it.”
From the top clit, you moved to the one on the bottom left. That drew a soft sound from your mate. Her thighs flexed at your sides, barely moving any closer to you. You dipped a thumb just past her entrance to dampen the fingertip. The moist digit glides across the bumps easier, gaining a pace you she enjoyed.
The clit was released once it was flush with blood. For the first time, you tongued at her entrance and tasted her again. Your muscle scooping up what was possible and drinking in her taste. Such deliciousness that couldn’t be contested. You hummed, eyes hooding over, and returned to finishing the last clit. Her sweetness makes it hard to focus on one thing at a time. You just wanted to dive back in and consume the taste she created.
As you sucked, you slipped two fingers, just the size of one her own, into her. Her strong muscles rippled around your digit, trying to suck it in more. You stopped at the knuckle and kept your hand vertical. With those two fingers, you find a well defined ribbed area and push.
Gawtin growled lowly in her throat, muscles throbbing around your fingers. God, you loved that sound and the feeling. You continued to rub a small circle around the area and returned to loving on the first bud. It slightly twitched in your mouth, at it’s full length at this point.
“You know me so well, little one. Know all my spots. Such a good little artist,” she cooed, head rolling back and neck fully exposed. You hummed around her clit and sent vibrations up the length of her spine. Her thighs pressed against the sides of your head before pulling back. “Paya, you are playing a dangerous game, teasing me like that.” You smirked silently to your self and started to pump your fingers. Another finger added to the ring.
It barely did anything to stretch her out. Your hand being too small for the job. That didn’t bother more than did it worry you instead. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt her in a bad way. You added your last finger inside of her and kept pumping away.
Her arousal began to leak down the swell of her cheeks as you drew it out from her. You abandoned her throbbing buds to dip down and lick up what spilled. Your hand was withdrew from her and was replaced with your mouth. The taste of her returning to your tastebuds. A hum sounding from your pleased state.
In such a state, you didn’t even realize your hips were rutting against the mattress until you felt her hand on your hip. They stilled under her touch; breath caught in your throat. Your own slick was starting to drip down the inside of your thighs. The scent mingling with hers.
The hand slips more from your hip and towards your entrance. You mewled with her fingertips ghosted over your dripping folds and swiped up some of your arousal up. Gawtin brough it up to her mouth and licked off the sticky substance staining them. You shuttered and doubled down on her, tongue scooping what you could at the source.
Your mouth returns to her sensitive clits, hand diving back to rub at the spot deep inside of her. Gawtin’s walls started to pulse around your hand. Her noises gaining pitch, hips thrust harsher against your face. You severely focused on her, letting every other thought fall away besides just hurt.
With your other hand, you wrapped it around one of her thighs and pulled yourself snug with her. When her muscles clamped down on your fingers, you felt the bones creak under the strain but refused to pull back. You continued to suckle and lick at her buds, drawing out her orgasm the best you could. Your name was thrown in the mix with a magnificent whine you rarely got to hear.
Gawtin’s chest heaved with breaths as she gathered herself. You drew yourself onto your knees and placed the heavy cock on her mound. Deep down, you were excited to see this thing spilt her open, better than your fingers ever could.
When the dazed look started to fade from her eyes, you rubbed your hand over her stomach then dragged your nails down. They might be dull but she arched her back to press against them harder.
“There’s my wonderful mate. How was that?” you teased your very dominate mate. She growled that ended into a purr and exposed her throat to you. “Are you okay to continue? We-“
One of her hands lashed out and grabbed your throat. A soft yet firm grasp to keep you from pulling away. Gawtin pushed up to rest on her hand instead of her elbow to lean closer to your face. “If you do not put that thing into me now…” she trailed off, leaving open the threat. You couldn’t help but snort, knowing where she was coming from. All the times she’s teased you before coming to mind.
“If you let go of my neck, I can see what I’m doing.” There was just a hint of a snark in your words. One that Gawtin let slip past for the moment. She let go at your words. A smile was giving to her. You gazed down and lined up the pointed head of the yellow dildo at her entrance.
The fire in her eyes could rival the sun’s heat itself. Her desire heavy and thick in the air. You timidly pushed the head past her folds, watching as she consumed it. Gawtin’s cunt starting to stretch to accommodate the toy. Fuck, this was a sight you never knew you needed to see.
Each inch pushed deeper into her, you met no resistance, even when you hilted inside of her. A tiny part of you wished to feel what it would be like to have her wrapped around a real cock. “You look so beautiful stretched around my cock, Gawtin. You don’t understand what this does to me,” you admitted, raptured by the sight before you. You never thought this day would ever come.
She was back on her elbows and kept that sense of dominate aura around her. A soft look passed over her features. “Oh, I do know what you mean, little one. Every time I use my fin-ah,” she gasped when you pulled out and thrusted fully back in. “You sneaky little brat.” Her voice hardened. You smirked.
“You were saying?” With this tiny lick of dominance, you were acting like you had the whole universe in the palm of your hand. Her hand flicked out and wrapped around your throat all over again. Your thrusting stopped, eyes widening at the show of dominance over you. Again, she’s in charge.
Gawtin pulls you closer to her face. “When I stretch you with my fingers alone, you are a squirming, pleading mess underneath me,” she finished what she was originally going to say. You shuttered, your empty pussy clenching around nothing. “So, you better fuck me good, little one.” Her wish is your command. You rapidly nodded your head to get her to release your throat.
Thankfully, she did. Your hands grasp at her hips and pull back your own. A mix of her arousal and your saliva coating the toy. You shoved the entire length back into her, watching as it disappeared. You groaned lowly in the back of your throat and started up a pace. One of your thumbs moved to run tight circles around her top clit, still wet from your mouth earlier. Her walls tightened around the dildo.
“Paya’s grace, you know what you are doing,” she moaned and watched as you fucked her, eyes glued to the yellow toy moving in and out of her. “Tilt… tilt your hips down, little one.” Every little sound and word she made you soaked in. Instantly, you listened to her and angled your hips down to drive the head towards the ground.
Her abs flexed when you hit something your fingers could never reach. “That is it. Right-right there.” In the heat of moment, you accidentally sped up your thrusts, the praise making you lightheaded. “Slow. Slow down.” You whined an apology and returned to your former speed.
An array of sounds echoed back at you in the privacy of her room. The slapping of skin on skin; her keens; your pants. You bite your bottom lip to keep some of your control in check. Your finger continuously rubbing at her sensitive nerve endings.
Sweat pooled on your forehead. Though you felt your energy depleting, you were driven by determination to get her come. You wanted to leave a good impression on her so she’ll let you do this more often. You bowed down, keeps still angled down to rub against the sweet spot inside of her. “Shit, Gawtin. You don’t understand… how much I love you,” you rambled and gave her the sweetest eyes you could pull.
In her orbs, you saw something shift. But you had no time to prepare for when the scenery changed. You gasped after finding yourself on your back and staring up at Gawtin. The giant straddled your hips easily and positioned herself over the toy. Her body slammed down and engulfed the dildo back inside of her. She moaned, head bowed and began to ride the strap on still attached to your hips. Gawtin easily trapped both of your hands in hers and pinned them to bed. Her entire frame leaned over you as she took her pleasure from you.
“Gawtin?!” you shrieked afterwards, unable to move but not in any pain. She was taking what she wants from you. She dismissed your squeak, not stopping.
Gawtin leaned down and practically shoved her tongue past your lips. Her muscle dominated yours without much of effort. You were too stunned to fight back. You moaned though, back arched off of the bed. Her free hand found its back to your exposed chest and tweaked a nipple. Gawtin pulled back and stared deeply into your eyes.
“Ah, shit!” you squeaked and keened under her touch. “This is supposed t-to be about you!” With her riding you, it still was mainly focused on her pleasure, but you wanted to be strictly zeroed in on her.
All she did was growl, the fire in her eyes bright. Your bottom lip caught between dull teeth as you attempted to reel in your noises. You didn’t dare drown out what little sounds she made. Gawtin pulled harshly on your perked nipple with a huff. A knowing look passed over her features. You kept any other words to yourself if it wasn’t praise.
Fangs dug into the skin of your throat, on the verge of spilling blood. You pulled on your hands but the Yautja refused to let go.
The teeth moved to your shoulder, holding on tight. “Good girl, Gawtin,” you cooed and tried to thrust up to meet her hips. Yet, each time she slammed down practically bounced your body back up into hers. “You gonna come? Come all over my cock inside of you?”
A pitiful whine pierced the air. Her hips slammed once more with yours before stilling. All of her muscles flexed and twitched. Pain radiating from your shoulder, her teeth lodged into your skin. Another mark to add to the pile. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head.
Hands cupped your chin. Gawtin released her hold on you and looked at you. A smile broke across your face. “How was that, pretty girl?” you asked the goddess in a soft tone. Her face relaxed after making sure you were okay. Gawtin began to purr and rested her forehead to yours. “I think you liked that more than me.” At least you hoped so.
One of her hands left your face to touch at the bite mark on your shoulder. You couldn’t help but hiss at the pain. It wasn’t bad but definitely noticeable. “I would apologize but it will scar nicely,” she stated.
You couldn’t help the snort that left you. “I think everyone in the village knows I belong to you. Possibly the planet,” you teased her. Marking you is a favorite thing of hers. Anything to get you marked and smelling like her was her favorite. None of the males ever come up to you, especially when Gawtin is around. Expect those two times… those two males really learned a hard lesson.
Gawtin huffed before leaning up to stand on her knees. The dildo slips out of her and flops onto your stomach, covered in her essence. Before you had a chance to even think about cleaning anything, you were lifted up and off the bed. You yelped and scrambled to latch onto Gawtin. “What did I say about warning me?” She didn’t response and began to walk towards the bathroom. “Hey, I’m supposed to be one taking care of you.”
“It is my duty to care for you, little mate,” she stated. You groaned and leaned back in her hold, trusting her to keep you safe. “Complain all you want but I love caring for you.” You softened at her words and looked at her beautiful eyes.
“You’re such a big softy,” you jestered then leaned up, arms hooked around her neck to hoist you up. “You’re my big softy.” Then, you kissed her top two mandibles each. Blood still stained her inner fangs.
A purr started in her chest. The Yautja starts to run a bath for both of your sake and sets you down. You were able to strip yourself of the toy and tossed it into the sink for cleaning later.  “You never answered my question,” you brought up after the tub was filled with hot water.
She perked a brow at you. “I rode you like… like a horse into the sunset,” she responded with a smirk on her alien face. You pressed your lips together and looked away. “And you figure out your speed quickly. It was perfect. You are perfect, my little ooman.” Heat rose to your cheeks as you looked away from her shyly.
Warm water engulfed you. Gawtin sat you in her lap and wrapped her arms around. “You’ll let me go that, right?” you pleaded with a pouty look on your features. “Since I did so good.”
One of her hands stroked down your back, sending tingles along your skin. “Yes, you did earn the chance to do it in the future.”
Dominate as she is, she’ll let you have your moments of false control. You were swift to eat up each second she allotted to you.
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iraprince · 11 months
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I love the entire concept of Cookie... the look, the fashion, the gender... Would you mind telling us a little more about him? I'm also intrigued about why she's named Cooking with Gorgeous!
HI i would LOVE to talk about george thank you so much. also this makes me realize i've never actually sat down and just made a post unabashedly infodumping at length abt an oc before and it seems silly that i haven't. i ask only for all dear readers to please temper their expectations for this post with the knowledge that i just smoked half a joint before sitting down to answer it. a small one. but still. anyway
FIRST OF ALL FOR THE UNACQUAINTED THIS IS COOKING WITH GORGEOUS, aka cookie or george for short. he uses he/him and she/her pronouns interchangeably!
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hi sorry that's not cookie that's a horse in a bridal veil that i. found in my stuff while trying to scroll and find my cookie art. i just got distracted and had to show you. okay no for real here's cookie
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he's the character i'm playing in a playtest campaign of the absolutely mesmerizing sapphicworld, an in-development ttrpg!!! and if i'm going to be talking about cookie i feel like i HAVE to say i think a huge amount of her charm and dazzle and charisma comes directly from the charm and dazzle and charisma of the setting i created her for. i know i am laying it on really thick right now but that is on purpose. i want, desperately and unashamedly, for this game to get really popular bc 1. it's genuinely that good. and it's not even DONE yet and 2. i want everyone to get into it so that everyone will make sapphicworld characters and then i'll get to see everyone's sapphicworld characters.
EDIT i'm scrolling back up here and adding a readmore bc this is already getting so long lol. you asked for "a little more" and apparently i have graciously decided this means "literally every fact about cookie that exists in my brain"
SO a lot of the info/tidbits i haven't shared about cookie are i guess gameplay-specific stuff... his title (which is like a class/playbook) is "The Noble Sweetheart," though in sapphicworld "nobility" no longer has anything to do with wealth or class, and is instead entirely about amassing a court purely via devotion/popularity; her subculture (which is like, Who You Hang Out With; drifters, goths, poets, debauchers, cowpokes, etc) is Babe; and her kind (which is like ancestries but in sapphicworld is really just like, a physical form, which u can change more or less at will) is Lunarthrope, which is basically a werewolf!! or more broadly a furry, since u always look like whatever were-animal you are 24/7. just MORE at night, tho i suppose i don't represent that aspect much in my cookie art... ANYWAY i am restraining myself from just sitting here and like. transcribing her entire character sheet. but basically what all this means is that cookie's role in the world (at least at the beginning of the campaign) is "Professionally — no, VOCATIONALLY Hot Person who everyone loves so so so so so so much." cookie really enjoys this role.
he's named cooking with gorgeous because he's an avid cook, and he wants to share that with you, and he's gorgeous!! though honestly the cooking hasn't ended up as important to his character as it was when i first came up with him, lol — but my initial concept was kind of like, what's the equivalent of a bouncy normie recipe blogger/lifestyle influencer but in the context of the lush horny trans deathless psychedelic universe of sapphicworld. and it's cooking with gorgeous, a doggirl dyke with big blue boobs (six of them!!) who is so devastatingly cute and darling that a bunch of people just kind of pledge their fealty to him for no real reason other than he feeds them. and is cute
also her name is def influenced by the fantastic names of many canon sapphicworld npcs! like, quick example list of some npc names off the top of my head: the booty commie, death cybernetic, princess eureka!, the culinary goof (whom cookie dislikes. btw.), pizza friday (whom cookie loves!!!)
cookie is very very determined, and she's ALMOST always very confident. even when she isn't feeling confident, she's still very good at forcing herself to keep putting one foot in front of the other — maybe just while screaming or crying or uncontrollably barking or at least very ardently complaining. he has a tendency to be spoiled and, like, tactless-via-obliviousness, so sometimes he can be grating to interact with, and he has a petty/vindictive streak; but in general he's an AGGRESSIVELY kind person and usually aims all his shrill, cheerful stubbornness directly toward the goal of refusing to accept anything but the best for everyone.
at the beginning of our campaign cookie has JUST received a brand new castle!!!! (chateau gorgeous.) which he doesn't actually "own" bc, remember, no wealth or class in sapphicworld, but he's the ENTHUSIASTIC new caretaker and is chomping at the bit to renovate it so ppl can live there and he can throw a bunch of magnificent parties and basically continue living exactly as he has been, But Even More Fabulous. obviously this is exactly when the main plot threat of the campaign shows up and spoils everything and compels cookie to go on his First Ever Adventure!!!!!! she HAS to save the world otherwise NOBODY will be able to go to the first big party at chateau gorgeous :((((
at this point to prevent myself from just like, giving you guys a play by play of the entire campaign so far i am going to just start listing every cookie fact i can think of as bullet points
🎀 he owns a magical sword in the shape of a giant microplane. it's called The Microplane. he pronounces this "mee-crow-plah-nay"
🎀 george desperately wants to resurrect The Dog-Lich, an entity that once ruled over all beasts from its palace on the moon but was murdered and torn to pieces in a cosmic war far in the past. her attitude towards this desire is 50% devoted lunar cultist, 50% parasocially obsessive twitter stan
🎀 this isn't really a cookie fact but going back to how his title is The Noble Sweetheart — just for a glimpse at party composition, his fellow party members' titles are The Intimate Scholar, The Tentacle Advocate, and The Tw*nk Controversial (the * is the canon spelling).
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^ aforementioned tw*nk. its name is Mwah ("pronounced like the kiss you blow at someone you just fucked over"). mwah is played by @/squiddelyfather on twitter!
🎀 mwah and cookie used to be very, very tight, BEFORE mwah became the tw*nk controversial. now that it's so.... you know.... controversial, well. they're still very close, but it has gotten a little stilted and weird (and watching them slowly un-weird it together as the campaign goes on has been one of my fav roleplay experiences ever honestly)
🎀 cookie's other adventuremates, skarligge and delaryn, are both very indulgent towards him. delaryn acts the most grumpy/dismissive about it but is honestly sometimes the worst about spoiling cookie out of anyone in the party (skarligge's player is twt@/clown_dream and delaryn's is twt@/glaiveguisarme and hey while im at it our fantastic gm is the sapphicworld dev, twt@/ddemoneclipse. hi guys i hope u don't mind me chattering abt ur ocs here lol it's just hard to talk abt the best of cookie w/o bringing up everyone else's characters and roleplay also!!!)
🎀 cookie is very VERY sensitive and will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. the precursor to this is her eyes getting So So So Big And Wet And Round. one of my favorite bits to menace the other party members with is when something is not going cookie's way i will lean into my mic and say "cookie's eyes are getting so so so big. they're getting so big and wet and round and shiny. they're so so round and fucking big her eyes are like big wet black glass marbles" and this is like kryptonite to them. this is like getting hit with deadly radiation
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🎀 oh speaking of fashion!!!! one of cookie's perks from being a Babe is that she can always change her look whenever she wants. she will ALWAYS have whatever outfit she needs and can quickchange instantly. wait this reminds me i have a bunch of seasonal holiday outfits sketched out and i don't think i've ever posted them here but it'll only let me put one more image in this post. well here have this one
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🎀 okay well suddenly i have forgotten all other george facts so that's all for now!!! from now on i will try to just dump oc facts like this more often tho this is really fun. ty for getting me going lol!!!
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skz317cb97 · 1 year
Text
Finger Painting
Hyunjin x Female reader
Word count: 5.3K drabble shmabble🤪
Synopsis: Hyunjin asks you to help him with an art project. He needs a super special canvas... you.
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A/N: 18+ ONLY! Okay so I'm a closet whore for Hyunjin (was it really closted?) This is the last part! 👀 It's filthy I hope you love it! If you do please reblog, comment, like scream in my ask box whatever. Love hearing from you all! 8/9
Warnings: 18+ONLY MDNI! It would be easier telling you what it doesn't have but I'll try 🤣 Cursing/strong language, body painting? dom Hyunjin/sub MC, lots of dirty talk, praise/pet names (beautiful, gorgeous, goddess good/bad girl etc you get the idea Hyunjin says whore but isn’t calling MC one if that makes sense lol), rough sex, hair pulling, breath play/choking/gagging, finger fucking/masterbation, oral (m&f receiving), face sitting/riding/fucking, sex toys (vibrator), deep throating, cum shot, cum eating, ass play/eating (m2f), spit play (a little), punishing/spanking/clit slapping, safewords/taps (explained but not used), overstimulation/forced orgasms/multiple orgasms, squirting, Hyunjin takes pictures while fucking MC, unprotected piv sex (use protection please), cream pie, cum play (quite a bit). For fucks sake I think that's everything 🤷🏻 If I missed something please let me know and we can both be shocked together lol. No really if I missed anything please do let me know so I can add it asap!
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After you paid for the pants and Jeongin got dressed you both made a hasty exit from the store before anyone suspected anything. Once you were all clear you both burst out into laughter as the adrenaline from what you’d just done disiappated. Jeongin moved stray hair out of your face and kissed you softly. You leaned into it smiling. 
“That was so much fun noona.” You smiled nodding in agreement still catching your breath a bit. 
“It was! I’m so hungry now!” Jeongin giggled. 
“Me too!” You grabbed his hand pulling him towards the food court.  
“Come on Innie lets refuel.” You pulled him close to whisper in his ear so only he could hear you. 
“Then we’ll get out of here, go back to mine and I can put that teddy on for you again.” You licked the shell of his ear and he felt his cock twitch in his pants. He looked at you with wide hopeful eyes. 
“REALLY?!” You nodded laughing. 
“On one condition...” 
“Anything!” He said eagerly. You smiled sweetly and leaned into his ear again.  
“Want you to bend me over and make me scream your name then unload all over my ass....” He choked as you pulled back and gave him big innocent doe eyes. 
“Can you do that for me Innie?” He nodded speechless his face tinted pink again. 
“I... I think so noona.” You pecked his lips. 
“Good boy.”  
One week after your shopping excursion with Jeongin and one week before your next game night Hyunjin texted you. 
Jinnie- HELP! I need a canvas! 
You- tf? what do you think I am an art supply store? 
Jinnie- Seriously! 
You- Seriously Hyunjinnie what do you expect me to do?! 
Jinnie- The subject is body painting. 
You- 😳 Oh! Uh... one of the guys can’t or something? 
Jinnie- This week is our female models next week is male, Felix already said he’d do it. 
You hesitated. You didn’t think you could strip to your undies in front of strangers and let Hyunjin paint your body. 
You- I don’t know Hyunjin body painting in your class... 
Jinnie- NO! It would be in my studio, I paint you and take pictures it’s a whole mixed media kind of thing. It would only be me and you. Please there’s no one else I can ask 🥺
You- Damn you and that emoji. Okay when do I need to be at your studio? 
Jinnie- Uhh... 30 minutes? 
You: JINNIE! Wth! 
Jinnie: I’m sorry I was busy and meant to ask sooner! You can do it still can’t you?! 🥺🥺
You: goddamnit. I’ll see you in 30 minutes. 
Jinnie: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU GODDESS QUEEN I LOVE YOU!
✨️❤️ 😍🥰😘❤️✨️
Goddess? You could get used to hearing Hyunjin call you that you thought. Wait. Fuck.
Thirty minutes later you were knocking on the door to Hyunjin’s studio. He answered and smiled that big dumpling smile of his, his eyes scrunching up. 
“Oh thank you y/n you really are saving my ass.” You nodded. Refrain from thinking about his ass you thought to yourself. 
“It’s really no problem Hyunjinnie you just gave me an excuse to skip spring cleaning today so you’re kind of doing me a favor.” You laughed and walked further into the studio looking around at all the canvases some complete, some works in progress, all of it beautiful chaos, typical from these men really.  
“So where do you want me?” Hyunjin smirked at you and you rolled your eyes. 
“Jeeze pervert I still have my clothes on.” He laughed and pointed over at a drop cloth off to one corner. You walked over and turned facing him. 
“I wore just my regular cotton bra and panties they aren’t expensive so I don’t care if you get paint on them...” Hyunjin walked over and helped you with your zip up hoodie as you slid it off. 
“Oh... uh... well I won’t have to get paint on them.” 
“Oh really ok-” You started to take your shirt off over your head as Hyunjin folded your jacket and set it aside. 
“You’ll have to be completely naked for this, sorry if I wasn’t clear about that.” You turned and looked at him, blush already creeping up your chest and neck. 
“N-naked?” Hyunjin hummed nodding. 
“Mhm... is that okay?” He took your shirt from your hands folding it and setting it with your jacket. You shook your head up and down. 
“Yea?” Hyunjin asked again. You answered. 
“Yea Jinnie that’s okay.” You answered shyly. You could feel yourself flushing with arousal and you tried to get a grip. He’s an artist, a painter, a professional, so he needs to paint your nude body, whatever, no biggie. Hyunjin’s beautiful eyes looked into you as you stood there. You took in all his beautiful features. His full pouty lips, the beauty marks under his eye and on his cheek, his expressive eyes. Hyunjin licked his lips and you snapped out of your daze realizing you were staring. He cleared his throat and looked down. 
“Pants.” You nodded 
“Right pants.” You unbuttoned your jeans pulled them down and stepped out of them. Hyunjin bent down and picked them up his eyes closely scanning your body as he stood back up. You could feel the tension mounting between you but Hyunjin just carried on folding your pants and adding them to the pile. You stood there in your panties and bra your body burning. Hyunjin smiled sweetly at you. 
“Do you need help?” You studdered like a fool. 
“Uh... um... h-help?” He nodded, same sweet smile still fixed on his face so innocent. 
“Yes, go ahead turn and I’ll unhook it for you...” He spun his finger around and you turned as if controlled by that one long finger. He walked up behind you and pushed your hair over your shoulder. He leaned in smelling your sweet perfume. You could feel his breath fanning across your skin he was so close. His fingers deftly worked at the hooks of your bra unhooking them. He slid the straps down your arms his finger tips causing goosebumps to errupt all over your body. The piece of fabric fell to the floor and Hyunjin bent over again to grab it. You turned and Hyunjin was eye level with your sex. He stood straight in front of you again his eyes baring down on you, like it took everything in him not to take you right then and there. You had to look away his gaze was so intense as he chewed his plump bottom lip. 
“Should I help you with the panties too?” He asked with an eyebrow raised, he tongued the inside of his cheek. You shook your head getting your thoughts in order, it was like he was hypnotizing you with his beauty, with his sentuality.  
“N-no... uh no... I think I can get them.” He shrugged and turned to add your bra to the ever growing pile of clothes. 
“Suit yourself then.” You pulled on the waist band of your panties and pulled them down letting them pool by your feet. When Hyunjin turned around you stood there completely naked... for him. Knees turned in hands coving yourself a little. That smile graced his pretty face again. 
“A goddess. Do you know how gorgeous you are?” You could feel your face heating up. You shook your head. Hyunjin tilted his head confused. 
“It’s why I picked you baby.”  
“I thought there was no one else you could ask...” He picked up your panties off the floor and laid them with everything else. 
“No one else worth asking...” He added. He walked over to his paints and started mixing a few colors together. 
“I’m going to paint a gradiant, do you know what that is gorgeous?” You nodded. 
“Smart and beautiful, check.” You couldn’t help but smile and look away. 
“Are you still shy baby? I could undress to if it would make you feel better.” You giggled and shook your head. 
“No, it’s okay Jinnie.” He nodded and contiued explaing his concept. 
“So I’ll paint a gradient of these colors from the tip of your toes all the way up to your neck.”  
“Not my face too?” He shook his head and... his eyes... god. 
“I could never cover that face, even if I get marked off for it, I could never cover a work of art with finger paint.” You couldn’t keep eye contact, you glanced down at the floor smiling like a fool. 
“Oh..” Was all you managed. Hyunjin dipped his hands in the first color and walked up to you. When he stood right in front of you he knelt down and looked up. You looked into his eyes, why, why did you look into his eyes. You were locked again. 
“It’s eaiser if I use my hands, is that okay?” Hyunjin softly smoothed paint over your feet and up your ankles. You could feel yourself flush and you hoped you didn’t start dripping down your leg while Hyunjin painted you. You nodded. 
“Mhm.” He nodded back and started rubbing the color up your calves, his hands only left your body to dip into the next color. He ran his big hands up the back of your thighs spreading and mixing the two colors. He stood up in front of you his eyes baring down on you. His hands slid up just below your ass cheeks and slid towards your wet cunt, then stopped and pulled back. You let out a little disappointed breath and Hyunjin had to hide his smile. He rubbed the paint all over your ass cheeks, then down the front of your thighs and dipped his hands in the third color before walked behind you. 
“Sorry I kinda have to...” Instead of finishing his sentence he reached around and cupped your entire pussy with is big hand and started softly rubbing, spreading the paint. You leaned your shoulders back into him a bit as he massaged your cunt then his hand moved up and spread the paint up your waist. That time you did nothing to hide your disappoint groan. Hyunjin smirked and dipped his hands into the fourth color smoothing it over your back and and tummy. He dipped his hands in yet another color and palmed both of your tits playing with them spreading the paint, then he pinched your nipples hard. 
“Ow.” He pushed that pillowy bottom lip out at you. 
“Sorry baby they need to be hard for the photos.” You scoffed. 
“You’re still painting...” He nodded. 
“You’re right!” He dipped his hand into the last color and quickly covered the rest of your chest, shoulders, and neck. The paint felt cool on your body. Once you were covered Hyunjin washed his hands and grabbed his camera. He started to explain how he wanted you to pose and got you into position the angle he chose to take the pictures at was, invasive to say the least. He got you on your knees for another pose sitting up straight he laid down under you with his camera and took several shots of your painted cunt, his camera was so close you clenched and Hyunjin licked his lips as he clicked and moved out from under you. You fell over on all fours and let out a indignant sigh. Hyunjin put his camera down and walked over. 
“Why are you pouting beautiful?” You looked at him and your face softened. You shook your head. 
“Oh yes you are, you’ve been pouting the whole time. You think I didn’t notice?” You shook your head again biting your lip. 
“Oh I did pretty, I noticed that little lip...” He ran his thumb across it and you took it between your teeth again. 
“You liked it when I rubbed your cunt didn’t you.” Your eyes got wider with excitement and you nodded. 
“I did Jinnie... want you to rub it more... want you to make me cum... “ You tried not to whine but he’d teased you for so long. He cooed at you. 
“Oh baby be careful what you ask for...” Suddenly the air changed and he grabbed you by the throat. 
“You just might get it.” His eyes trailed down your body to your painted pussy. You let out a strangled moan. 
“You like your new necklace beautiful? Hm? You like it when I choke this pretty neck?” You nodded, unable to verbally answer but the slick gushing from you made that abundantly clear.  
“Get on your knees again... like before.” He roughtly let you go and you did as you were told. Hyunjin laid down and slid his head between your legs again. 
“Go on sit on it.” You hesitated, you were covered in paint you voiced your concern. 
“Jinnie the pai-” 
“Did I mention that this is edible?” Hyunjin spanked your ass hard and pushed you down. 
“I said sit.” His mouth made contact with your throbbing clit and immedietly started sucking on you, his hands gripping your hips urging you to grind against his face. When you did he hummed out pleased with your performance, he loved being smothered by your cunt. He spanked your ass again and you clenched and continued to roll your hips over his face while his thick lips worked miricals with your pussy. Hyunjin sat up quickly and suddenly you were on your back with your legs over his shoulders spread open for him, both of you covered in paint now. He looked at his meal in front of him and hummed. 
“Hmm missed a spot.” Hyunjin’s tongue started circling your asshole before he buried his face in your ass and started eating you properly. 
“Ji-Hy-oh fuck Jinnie please yes!” He pulled back and let spit trail from his lips down your ass before licking it back up and eating your cunt completely ravenous. Your thighs squeezed around his head.  
“Hold my head baby fuck my face hard.” You did as your were told and grabbed handfuls of Hyunjin’s hair pusing his face into your cunt as your hips grinded arcoss his tongue and lips. Hyunjin let you ride his face as he hummed and sucked on every bit of you, until you came hard screaming his name. 
“HYUN-HY-HYUNJIN FUCK YES EAT IT FUCKING EAT IT! GOD FUCK YES JINNIE!” He gently nosed at your clit and licked your glistening hole savoring your cum on his tongue. 
“So sweet, like nectar, my goddess tastes like a delicasy of course.” You twitched from the soft kitten licks he was still giving you. He let your legs down and hovered over your body covered in a mess of paint now. His hand found your throat again, gently this time, he was completely different than he’d been just a moment before. Soft again, like his lips, that he pressed to yours. 
“Why don’t you get a shower and meet me back out here yeah?” You nodded and he kissed you again before you ran off to his bathroom to wash the rest of the body paint off, edible or not, you were a mess. You turned on the shower and stepped under the warm stream of water. You grabbed Hyunjin’s loofa and put some of his body wash on it, sudsing it up before rubbing it across your body that was still buzzing from the orgasm Hyunjin had given you. You rubbed the loofa down your body and over your sensitive cunt. You softly moaned and dropped the loofa, you started to rub your soapy pussy. Another soft moan fell from your lips as your finger tips ran over your clit. There was a firm knock at the door and you heard Hyunjin call through. 
“You had better not be playing with my pussy. I’d hate to have to punish you for touching what’s mine.” Your pussy absolutely gushed hearing his possesiveness over your cunt. Your fingers deftly moved across your clit faster and you bit your lip choking back another moan, you were so sensitive it was going to be easy to push yourself over the edge again quickly, he’ll never know, you thought. 
“Beautiful? Are you listening to me?” You came on your fingers and answered in a shakey voice. 
“Y-y-yes I hear you J-Jinnie.” You rubbed your clit hard shuddering through the rest of your orgasm. 
“Mhm.” He answered back. You quickly finished washing up and got out. You wrapped a towel around yourself and remembered that your clothes were all out in the studio. You walked out water dripping in your towel and found Hyunjin sitting on his bed off to the side. You started to walk towards your pile of clothes. 
“I forgot to grab these.” Hyunjin tsked you. His voice was demanding. 
“You won’t be needing them.” You stopped. 
“You think I don’t know? Hmm? You think I couldn’t hear your juices as you fingered yourself in the shower?” You went to defend yourself but the look on Hyunjin’s face shut you up. 
“I guess even a goddess needs punished some times, I told you to be careful what you asked for didn’t I beautiful? Hm? I told you not to touch what’s mine yeah? And you played with that little cunt anyway didn’t you.” You nodded admitting your deed. Hyunjin walked over to you. 
“Thank you for being honest. I’ll keep it in mind while I’m punishing you.” He ripped your towel off and took in your soft, clean, naked body. 
“Go bend over my bed, now.” You cautiously walked over to his bed. 
“I said bend over beautiful don’t make me repeat myself.” He walked over to a dresser and opened the top drawer as you bent over his bed. He walked back over by you and pushed your down further then ran his hand up your back and softly rubbed your ass cheek. 
“A few rules real quick baby so we’re all having fun yeah? If you don’t like something or it’s too much you say the word red and everything stops yea?” You nodded in understanding and he bent over you pushing his clothed hard on against your bare ass, thrusting into you pushing you down more. He leaned in closer whispering the next part in your ear. 
“And if you’ve got your new necklace on or my cock down your throat and can’t talk three taps and it’s over understand?” He tapped your ass three times and you nodded. He spanked you hard suddenly and a delicious sting shot through your body 
“Say it!” He shouted at you. 
“I understand Jinnie.” He tsked you again. 
“Oh beautiful, your Jinnie isn’t here right now...” You looked back at him. 
“W-what should I call you?” He smirked and walked back over to the open drawer. 
“You should not speak unless told to gorgeous, you’re being punished. Eyes forward.” You immedietly did as you were told and it made Hyunjin’s cock throb seeing you so obedient for him. 
He grabbed a few things from the drawer and made his way around to the other side of the bed, in front of you. He started laying his ‘tools’ down in front of you to see. A paddle and a wand vibrator. 
“You’re going to get both of these and when I’m done you’re not going to remember which was supposed to be the punishment.” You could feel your pussy getting wetter just thinking about it and you clenched. Hyunjin just so happened to make it around the bed to see your hole tighten. 
“Oh you think you’re gonna like this huh? It is a punishment baby and touching what’s mine is a big no no.” The paddle slapped across your ass and you clenched again and Hyunjin tsked you. He spanked you again with the paddle a little harder but not enough to really hurt you by a long shot, just enough for your body to buzz and your cunt to clench again. 
“You’ve been such a bad girl you know that?” You nodded and he spanked you again. 
“Say it!” He yelled and you moaned out as he slapped your ass with the paddle again. 
“I-I’ve been a bad girl!” He hummed his approval and leaned over you again his plump lips pressed to your ear. 
“Such a bad bad girl...fucking Jeongin in a dressing room? Tsk.” He sat up and spanked you harder and you gasped. 
“How did yo-” Another slap of the paddle. 
“Did I ask you to speak?” You shook your head no and another sizzling slap connected with your ass. 
“To answer your question, you weren’t the only two at the mall that day and the way you both ran out of that department store completely fucked out made it pretty obvious.” He tossed the paddle, stood back, and started taking off his clothes. 
“Did you let him fuck you raw gorgeous?” You thought of lying for a second but your burning ass said to tell the truth, you nodded. 
“Let him cum inside? Hmm?” You nodded again. 
“Such a bad girl.” You thought he was going to spank you again but he started softly rubbing your sore, red ass cheeks. 
“So bad... fucking in public... letting Innie fuck your hole and cum inside?” He tsked as he grabbed the wand. 
“Bad girl. Lay on your back and spread your legs, show me that pussy.” You did as you were told quickly your ass still a little numb from the spanking your arousal coating the insides of your thighs.  
“Listening so well pretty girl.” Hyunjin ran his fingers up your thighs tracing through your slick, rubbing his fingers together and smiling. He parted your pussy lips and started pushing two of his long slender fingers inside you. You let out a little gasp. He started pumping them in and out slowly. Working you towards your orgasm with every brush of his fingers against your g spot. 
“Are you going to cum? Tell me.” You nodded. 
“Y-yes, gonna gonna c-cum.” You managed to get out between breaths. 
“Go on then... cum.” Your back arched as waves of pleasure crashed against you. You were breathing heavy as the buzzing in your cunt starting to die down. That’s when Hyunjin grabbed the wand vibrator, clicked it on and pressed it against your clit throbbing clit. 
“FUCK!” It was instant pleasure and pain, it was delicious, you had to scream out without permission, punishment be damned. 
“Well go on cum...” Your back arched again and you saw a whole galaxy exploding behind your eyelids. 
“Hy-Hy-Hyun...” You panted out. He pulled the vibrator away and checked in with you. 
“Red?” He asked and you shook your head no as you started to come down again. 
“Good girl.” The vibator was pushed hard against your clit again. 
“Another!” You shook your head, you couldn’t. Hyunjin pulled the wand away, slapped your pussy and pushed the vibrator against you again. 
“I said another! Now fucking CUM!” Your whole body contorted as you came again screaming Hyunjin’s name. 
“HYUNJIN FUCK HYUNJIN!” He smiled pleased with how absolutlely wrecked you already were, being no where near done with you. He pulled the wand away and let your body start to relax again. He softly slapped your clit a couple of times and pushed the vibrator directly on it yet again. 
“We’re doing this till you squirt baby so you might as well settle in.” Hyunjin made you cum three more times before you started squriting. He tossed the wand and slapped your pussy harder, your juices squirting out of you with each slap. He pushed four of his fingers against your clit and rubbed hard as your cum leaked out of you like a river. 
“Good girl, fuck! Such a good girl squirting for me like that, my fucking goddess I’ll happily drink you.” Hyunjin slowly massaged your whole pussy before he buried his head between your legs licking and slurping at your pussy, cleaning your juices off. When he stopped cleaning you he gave your cunt two more little slaps that made you jump from the jolt of sensitivity. Hyunjin crawled over you and kissed you as you laid limp and utterly fucked out. 
“I’m not done with you yet gorgeous, look at me.” You opened your eyes somehow. 
“I haven’t fucked this pretty little pussy yet have I?” You shook your head no. 
“Are you wearing my cum anywhere?” You shook your head no again. 
“That’s right baby so wake up cause you’ve got a cock to ride.” He kissed down your neck and chest then crawled off you and sat with his back against his head board. You climbed on to his lap and he reached over grabbing his camera. 
“Okay if I take a few pictures of you bouncing on my cock? I won’t get your face.” You line up his cock with your tender juicy hole. 
“Then how will you know it’s me when you jerk off to them?” Hyunjin bit his lip not expecting that response. 
“Fuck beautiful you’re right, silly me. I can’t believe I even suggested leaving out the prettiest thing.” He wrapped his fingers around your neck and pulled you down by your throat face to face. 
“That cute fucked out face you make when you cream for me.” He let go of your neck smacked your ass which was still numb. 
“Go on ride it.” Hyunjin sat back a little and angled the camera to get the best shots. You slid down on his cock and he couldn’t help but moan. 
“God baby, your hole is so fucking tight!” You lifted your hips and sat back down on his cock again and he clicked a couple of pictures. 
“I have an actual goddess bouncing on my dick right now of course I need pictures.” Click click. He took more photos. Your cunt taking his cock, your tits bouncing, your mouth dropped in to a soft moan. Click click click. 
“Grab your tits beautiful play with them.” Click click again. You grinded your hips against his as you squeezed and pulled on your nipples.  
“Mhmm, now your pussy, play with your pretty little pussy for me.” Click click click click. 
“Are you gonna cream on my cock beautiful.” You rubbed your clit and squeezed your tit hard nodding. 
“Y-yes gonna cum.” He shoved his fingers in your mouth as your cunt sucked his cock in again and again. Click click click click. He took his fingers and and traced a wet trail down your to your throat. He grabbed and squeezed tight and you clenched hard. Your face started turning red. Click click click click click click. Your soft wet walls squeeze his cock as you came. Hyunjin tossed the camera for a minute and held you down on his dick with one hand still choking you with the other. He held you down firm on his cock as he twitched and blew his load inside you deep. He finished filling your cunt and laid you back.  
Your hair was spread out on the bed, your arms out to your sides, your legs spread and Hyunjin’s cum leaking from your swollen cunt. Click click click. Hyunjin set the camera down again and started stroked his cock. You were sweaty, couldn’t possibly be more fucked out... you thought. Seeing you like that had Hyunjin’s cock rock hard again in no time. He pulled your limp body so that your head was dangling over the bed, the rest of you body stretched out in front of him. He grabbed your hair tightly and lifting your head and getting close to your face. 
“Can you hear me goddess?” You choked out a yes. 
“You’re gonna lay here and I’m gonna fuck your throat baby, you hear me? 
“Mhm.” You tried to nod. He smoothed your hair away from your face. 
“Good girl.” He stuck his fingers deep in your mouth making you open wide for his cock that he slid into your warm mouth, bottoming out in the back of your throat, making you choke and gag. He pulled out and his cock was covered in your spit, he rubbed it against your face. 
“You like it beautiful.” You went to answer and he pushed it to the back of your throat again, and again your throat constricted around his tip as you gagged, this time not pulling out but gently thrusting deeper, your drool dripping down your cheeks. Hyunjin grabbed his camera and took a couple more pictures of you upsidedown choking on his cock then tossed it aside again. He leaned over and started fucking your mouth harder. He pulled out and you gasped for air, taking deep breaths in while you could. Hyunjin’s hand speared your spit across your face. 
“So fuckin pretty.” He shoved his cock in again. He looked at your cunt and saw you dripping your arousal and his cum still squeezing out of you. 
“Does getting your throat fucked like a whore make my goddess gush?” You hummed loudly around his cock trying to nod. He pulled out again letting you get more air. 
“GOD YES FUCK MY MO-” Hyunjin pushed his cock to the back of your throat, grabbed the vibrating wand and pressed it against your throbbing pussy. Thrusting deep into your mouth, holding the wand down hard on your clit. You started squirting again and Hyunjin went fucking feral. He thrusted hard into your throat once, twice, three times and pulled out. 
“FUCKING YES GOD YES BEAUTIFUL FUCKING GODDESS SPRAY ME!” He flipped you around so that your cum showered him and shoved his whole cock into your cunt at once, your juices still squriting and squeezing out of you. Both of his hands wrapped around your throat and he choked you as he rammed his cock hard into your juicy cunt still spraying your cum on him with every unforgiving thrust. 
“FUCK FUCK FUCK! TAKE IT TAKE IT HARD FUCK YES!” He kept his grip on your throat with one hand and shoved four fingers in your mouth with the other slamming into you, the sound of wet skin and juices squelching every time his hips slapped against yours. He took his wet spit covered fingers from your mouth and rubbed them across your buzzing clit. You were in heaven a beautiful man choking you, fucking you, playing with your aching cunt. You came again, squirting for the third time. 
“YES FUCK YES SOAK ME BABY YES!” Hyunjin screamed for you. He slapped your pussy with one hand while you sprayed him, holding his cock with the other as your quivering cunt tried to squeeze him out. He shoved it hard and deep inside you. You were shaking and convulsing, a moaning mess of your own cum. Hyujin pulled out your jucies trailing out after. He climbed up your limp twitching body, straddling your neck, tugging his cock and aiming for your face. You somehow managed to open your eyes and look up. When you saw him sitting on your face, jerking his angry red cock aimed at you, you just opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue waiting for a taste. He moaned and started coming on your face streaks across your tongue and lips, a he leaned closer making sure coat your whole face. 
“Fuck yes!” He groaned twitching above you as the last of his load dripped into your mouth. He stuck the tip in. 
“Suck it...” You did and he winced. 
“Gently...” You softly sucked any remaining cum from Hyunjin’s cock. He pulled out of your mouth and rubbed the tip against your cum covered face, then took his hand and rubbed his cum all over your face. 
“Only thing this face gets painted with is my cum.” He shoved his cum coated fingers in your mouth gagging you a little. You sucked his fingers as he pulled them out. 
@acciocriativity @caroline-ds-world @chansynie @ughbehavior @jquellen27 @hyunelixies @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @b00dyguts @purplenimsicle @caticorn61 @lauraneuuh @channieandhisgoonsquad @minnysproutgriffinteddy @3rachasninja @svintsandghosts
“See this paint is edible too.” 
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ravenelyx · 1 year
Text
I love you in every timeline - Chapter 1: My Love Is As a Fever, Longing Still
Tumblr media
← Prologue
Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader
Words: 14.9k
Chapter Warnings: angst, Harry Potter characters appearance, no name usage for reader (only a few blank spaces), use of 2nd person for the reader, Sebastian is confused and doesn't know how to handle his feelings, and he's also struggling with his personality, veeeeery slow burn
Summary: "He couldn't risk being emotionally stuck somewhere he didn't belong just because his heart was grieving and crying out for a memory of the girl it broke and pieced itself back together for. He couldn't do that to you. He couldn't do that to himself. He couldn't do that to her". In which Sebastian, in his search for a cure in the Dark Arts, finds himself 100 years into the future and meets his most trusted companion's descendant (who looks far too similar to the girl he was once secretly in love with).
A/N: this is long, and more is to come. It's gonna be a very slow burn apparently, but I hope you will like it. Finally Chapter 1 is here, it's been a while. Also, as much as I love fanon! Draco and Pansy, I decided to follow a more canonical approach here, sorry. Again, english is not myfirst language so I'm sorry if I made any mistakes. Never am I going to write about time travel again,my brain hurts.
I also made a playlist inspired by this because why not.
You can find the whole fanfiction here on ao3
"My love is as a fever, longing still For that which longer nurseth the disease, Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill, Th’ uncertain sickly appetite to please." - William Shakespeare, Sonnet 147
You weren't her.
Then who the hell were you?
You briefly smiled at Sebastian and then turned back to the red-head, squinting. "Do you have the book or not?"
Ron gulped, avoiding your eyes. "It's probably in my dorm or something... I didn't have class, so I didn't take it with me."
"In your dorm, isn't that right?" Your eyes narrowed even more if that was even possible, and Sebastian was pretty sure you were about to hex him on the spot. Your leering didn't go unnoticed by either of the two Gryffindors and Hermione’s throat bobbed ever so slightly, eyes widening a little in alert.
"Well, as I said—"
"Here," interrupted Hermione suddenly, voice slightly squeaking. She looked into her bag and extracted her own copy of Winogrand's Wondrous Water Plants. "Use this in the meantime. I take notes on the book too, unlike Ronald here, so it should compensate."
You accepted the book, seemingly calming down a bit. “Thank you, Hermione,” you said, enunciating her name sarcastically as you shot the other boy a nasty look, and Sebastian couldn't help but feel a touch of schadenfreude as Ron hung his head low, cheeks as red as his hair.
“I said I'll give it back,” said Ron, scowling. “It’s not like you need it anyway. Sprout doesn’t even make us open books!”
You politely smiled at Hermione, your eye slightly twitching at his remark, before said smile turned into a sneer as you looked at Ron again. “Then what the hell is taking you so long?"
Hermione sighed softly, dejectedly, and Ron shrinked on himself, sending Sebastian an unconfident look. But that only seemed to propel you to continue.
"And most people do open books for Herbology, my dear Ron, but I don’t expect you to know that. You’re too busy trying to find ways to whine and beg others to help your lazy ass later when they have other, more important things to do.”
Sebastian saw it happen, in a gradual, torturous slowing of time. There was something about you, in the way your lip quirked up, in the way your brows furrowed, giving life to that crease. Something that you couldn't stop, washing over you like a tsunami, drowning any possible thought of rationality and empathy. Control, in that moment, was appearance and nothing more.
He felt, for a moment, afraid; chilling his veins until goosebumps raised on his skin: a thrill, as if she was there. As if he was watching her unleash that godly power in all her beauty.
You were still, hands clammy at your sides, as he could see you open and close them repeatedly, and you weren't gloating. It was different; like that thick, foggy feeling that floods your brain when your opponent misses a step whilst casting Protego, or opens their arm a bit too much, making it easy for a well-aimed Stunning Spell to pass through, and it makes your cheeks turn red and your chest flutter, and Sebastian saw that twinkle in your eyes as you ignored Hermione’s pleading look.
The same thrill that makes his heart tug when he inevitably, nimbly raises his wand back. When the spell goes right where he intended it to go, and the deaf sound of a wand hitting the floor fills his ears.
It was that innate human side that took pleasure in pain. That part that could turn from a lambent glow into a Fiendfyre if you're not careful. Or if you really put your mind to it.
But you weren't duelling.
Sebastian wasn’t sure what to make of the way with which you were slandering your — he supposed — friend. And in front of him, too. It made him slightly tremble, his lip slightly twitch. Part of him wondered if he was invisible, part of him felt a little too alert, part of him pitied the girl in front of him.
And while it seemed Ron and Hermione were just as shocked, they had a sort of weary gleam in their eyes. And any attempt at smoothing things over was futile. Hermione feebly tried to intervene. “Oh, we don’t need to go further—”
“You see Ronald, for a Prefect you should really put some thought into the impression you’re making on new students, not to mention the one you should give of our school—” you ignored her and sarcastically gestured towards Sebastian, who felt his breath hitch at the sudden spotlight put on him, “and yet, you’re always so comfortable acting like a dimwit . Pull yourself together and be responsible for once.”
Ron’s jaw fell open, completely at loss for words at your harsh words, and he shared a look with Hermione that Sebastian was able to understand completely.
What the hell just happened?
He couldn't agree more.
“I think you’re overreacting,” said Ron sternly.
“I think you’re disrespectful,” you replied just as eagerly.
“Alright, that’s enough!” said Hermione, putting herself between the two Gryffindors. “It so happens we have a guest here!”
Sebastian felt his heartbeat quicken ever-so-slightly as both you and Ron turned to him like you had just seen him for the first time. He shifted his weight uncomfortably; an attempt to get rid of that eerie shiver that ran down his spine as your incensed gaze fell on him.
That seemed to snap you out of it, and your cheeks flushed a bit in regret. “Fair enough...” you muttered, nodding at Sebastian. “Sorry.”
He nodded back, unsure about what to do as he shifted his eyes between you and Ron, letting them linger on your face each time he looked at you. Your nose had that same curve he always wished he could kiss, run his lips over with reverence… He shook the thought out of his head immediately.
“I should receive an apology as well,” muttered Ron, and Hermione nudged his arm as a warning not to add fuel to the fire.
"You have one day. Just one." You gave Ron an ultimatum, your tone sharp and, Sebastian thought, quite frightening. He hoped to never find himself in Ron's place. “And don’t expect me to help you ever again, I'm tired of it!”
You didn’t wait for an answer and began to walk away, only stopping briefly to look at the Slytherin boy. "I wish you the best of luck, especially if he— " you glanced at Ron again "—has to be the one guiding you through this maze they call a school."
Sebastian gasped and opened his mouth to reply, but his words seemed to be stuck somewhere between his throat and his tongue. He let his eyes fleet over your face again, heart beating out of his chest as he tried to make out your features, like in a dream.
"I hope we'll meet again soon enough." You forced a smile on your face that looked almost guilty and embarrassed, and with that, you were gone.
His eyes followed you until you turned a corner and vanished from his sight, thoughts racing at a hundred miles an hour — questions with no answers clouding his mind more and more each second. Who were you? Why did you look like her? And above all, why did you bear her family name?
Even after the theatricals that he had just witnessed, there was a certain hope in his heart: traitorous and wrong. A hope that she was really there, somewhere, waiting for him. A hope he immediately wanted to crush as soon as the image of your eyes and red robes flashed in the window of his vision again.
Sebastian Sallow was utterly, completely, absolutely losing his mind.
He was aware of the gravity of his situation — his body still spasmed uncomfortably every now and then as a result of having travelled through space and time — but, Sebastian realised, it felt more like a trance. A painfully aware and too tight reverie he couldn't find a way out of. After all, just the night before, Natty had asked him if he wanted to take part in Summoner's Court with her the next day, hadn't she?
And just a few hours after that, Sebastian had decided to try his last chance, opening the artefact that, he had believed, would bring him back to a time where her sister wasn't cursed — a time he could have avoided the disaster. And not just one at that.
He took a deep breath, willing the halls of Hogwarts to become brighter in his vision, more real. He was indeed in the future, he repeated himself, his ribcage evidently too small to contain the excruciating throbbing he felt in his chest. He had to accept that. He did. Probably.
“Bloody hell!” Sebastian heard Ron mutter as he also stared at the point from which you had just disappeared. “What was all that for?”
“Honestly, Ronald…” said Hermione curtly. “We’ll deal with this later.”
Still, Sebastian felt painfully calm at his situation: the sort of calm that he only experienced when he knew he was in trouble and couldn't do anything about it, or when he knew he was in trouble and had the solution for it lying in his hands, teeming down his throat like a treacly and old pint of Butterbeer, or a briquette of ice, whipsawed by the choice of safely travelling down his stomach and melt and leave him warm and satisfied or change direction and chill his lungs and cut his breath and bring him to a freeze.
What would Sebastian, a calm and collected person (and he believed he was, or tried, at least), do in a similar situation?
Two options came to his mind, clear and painfully bright.
To freak out completely until he was in shambles on the floor, addled and ready to break himself and cut the edges of his persona to fit into the new reality he now essentially belonged to, though he still didn't feel like it.
Or estrange himself from said reality, seeing it through lenses, analysing the world around him as if he weren't there until he found a way to go back, like a spectator, a reader. And he was indeed a reader.
In a way, the very core of one was tantamount to the other — both would completely destroy him. And Sebastian Sallow could not allow himself to be destroyed. Not like this.
But then there was another, the one Sebastian desperately willed himself to adopt, keeping his edges glued to himself and the lenses away from his perfectly working eyes.
The one he followed when everyone had lost hope for Anne.
And that was any option available, and every rational thought, even if the sound of them — or anything else, really — was still drowned by the loud pounding of his heart reverberating at the thought of the girl who just flipped his world upside down.
“What did you say her name was again?” Sebastian asked the two students, his eyes never leaving the corner you had just turned.
Ron and Hermione both looked at him with surprise; Ron opened his mouth with a scowl, as if about to make a snarky remark, but Hermione interrupted him, repeating your name calmly.
That was indeed the name.
And so he tried to be as rational as possible.
“Thank you,” said Sebastian quietly, lips parted, gaze musing. “I’d forgotten that just there.”
You were her descendant, a hundred years from his time.
Sebastian couldn't remember her having any siblings or cousins who bore her surname, but if you did, you had to have received it from a male member of her family, didn't you? She couldn't possibly have given you her name unless she married someone from her own bloodline, and Merlin, he hated that thought.
Or she had married someone else and decided to keep her own surname instead, and, once again, Sebastian knew — it wasn't his first thought, of course, but certainly one that plagued his mind — that he couldn't have been the one she had married, because if one thing was true about Sebastian Sallow, it was that he'd have burned down the world just to get her to take his last name.
His thoughts circled back to her family, but try as he might, he couldn't pinpoint any related members from whom you might descend. He was starting to feel dizzy and sure to be on the brink of collapsing under the amount of information he was trying to process, but then Ron and Hermione pulled him out of his trance by starting to explain the rules of the castle, the classes to attend and some basic information about the Professors.
"Defence Against the Dark Arts changes every year; they say there's a curse on the chair or something," explained Ron, having calmed down a bit, and half-smiled, "so you won't have to see toad-face for long."
"Toad-what?" asked Sebastian absent-mindedly, his head still teeming with disjointed thoughts and meandering ideas which, Sebastian was sure of it, would never find a proper abode.
"Our new Professor. You'll see what I mean when you meet her for the first time."
Sebastian nodded occasionally as he listened to them talk about the other Professors, such as Snape, the Potions teacher, and also the Head of the Slytherin House. Ron kept going on about how annoying he was, trying not to show how much he was afraid of him. "You don't have to worry, though: Slytherins get special treatment from him," he said jokingly.
Ron, Sebastian decided then, was a nice fellow. He found himself wondering why you had reproached him so harshly. He had half-a-mind to ask, then, about your behaviour — and why both the two Gryffindors seemed to be far less surprised about it than he expected. He decided against it.
"Wait, what do you mean, she won't let you use spells?" Sebastian frowned as they talked about 'toad-face', alias Dolores Umbridge.
"She's from the Ministry," explained Hermione. "After what happened last year, we're sure they're doing everything they can to keep the school under control and make sure no lies—" she stroked the word sarcastically, "—are spread among the students.
"I'll explain everything later. We should focus on more important things, like your academic persona and your education," she added, noticing his confused expression.
She was definitely Prefect and worthy of her role too, at least if you went by the typical clichés.
--
The hours passed, and there wasn't a minute when Sebastian didn't think of her.
And of you.
Because the more time he spent walking, the more his rationality seemed weak and pointless.
He thought he'd go mad, her memories spoiled by your oh-so-similar but equally different features. He saw your eyes looking at him back in the Scriptorium, as she was ready to take the Cruciatus Curse rather than cast it on him. He saw a Gryffindor sitting by him in Herbology, stealing not-so-subtle glances while tending to the mandrakes. He felt like his mind was splitting in half, frustrated and embittered and close to tears as you tainted his remembrances of her.
He needed to see you again, talk to you, ask about your life, your family, your past. He needed to know every thought behind your eyes, every subtle expression towards him that could mean you recognised him, that you were her, that you remembered him, remembered your time together, that you'd follow him in all his antics, in all his mistakes, in all his choices, that your actions meant more than your words.
That you loved him as he loved you — as he loved her.
Her.
Not you.
Because he didn't need to talk to you. Because indeed your recent actions spoke louder than words ever could.
Because no matter how much Sebastian fooled himself into thinking that he wasn't alone, stuck in a world that had gone on without him for a hundred years, that she returned his feelings the way he thought she did, that somehow you'd look at him and know that she was meant for him, that you were meant for him, you weren't her . You didn't know him. You could never know him as she did, and not because he wouldn't let you in — he'd run to you even now and lay his heart open if it meant finding a faint resemblance to what it used to be — but because he couldn't allow it. He couldn't risk being emotionally stuck somewhere he didn't belong just because his heart was grieving and crying out for a memory of the girl it broke and pieced itself back together for. He couldn't do that to you. He couldn't do that to himself. He couldn't do that to her.
At that moment, Sebastian made the decision to stay as far away from you as possible.
He snapped out of his thoughts as he reached the Great Hall. He hadn't noticed that it was already lunchtime.
"Do you think Dumbledore will make a speech to introduce him or not?" asked Ron, not caring that the Slytherin boy could hear him loud and clear.
"I don't think he'd just let it go, but I hope it won't be as big as last year's," noted Hermione.
"Those were two bloody new schools, Hermione. This one must be different."
He felt like a new Honeydukes product hitting the shelves for the first time.
It turned out the Headmaster hadn't made a speech to introduce him, and Sebastian almost would have preferred it if he had, because he felt like a circus monkey sitting at the Slytherin table with a hundred eyes staring at him like he'd just broken into their home and stole a particularly rare card from their Chocolate Frogs collection. He looked around at the other tables and saw heads turning away so quickly that he was sure he would be the culprit in a mass murder with a thousand broken necks. He sighed as a girl with dark hair and green eyes sitting opposite of him handed him mashed potatoes.
"Do you want to eat or not? No one poisoned your food just because they don't know you."
Sebastian glanced at her and accepted her plate, munching his food slowly as if he didn't quite believe her.
"I'm Pansy Parkinson."
"Sebastian Sallow."
"Sallow? Never heard of that name. What's your blood status?"
He almost choked on his food at her blunt question. What kind of uncivilised conversation was this? And the way she looked at him, waiting for his answer, he knew that that question alone could decide his entire future — hopefully a short one — in that House.
"I'm a pureblood like you, I suppose," he lied, lifting an eyebrow as he blankly stared at the girl.
"I see," said Pansy, narrowing her eyes as if not fully believing him. And Sebastian knew it was probably time for him to make up a story, a lie he could tell everyone in the indefinite amount of time he was to spend among them.
He had put a great deal of thought into what wanted to tell in the past hour — he could, after all, be anyone. Anyone he wanted.
He could change his past, he could avoid his mistakes, he could pretend to be a normal boy with a normal life. He could just be.
In the end, it didn't matter, because while other people might look at him and see only a picture-perfect new student with a thirst for knowledge, he would look at himself and see the boy who tortured his friend, the boy who murdered his uncle.
They might not know, but he would.
He kept the edges tight against his body, and decided to opt for a half lie that made it easier for him to play on and not forget any details.
He told her that he wasn't from the Highlands. He told her how his parents were Professors at another magical school but died prematurely, and left him to live with his uncle, a former Auror. And he told her about his timely death as well, omitting, of course, his involvement in it.
"When he died, too, I decided to move here," he concluded simply, hiding the tremble of his lips behind a glass of pumpkin juice.
Part of him expected sympathy from her, or at least a hint of hesitation; that look he had become so accustomed to whenever people came to know about his tragic tale or something along those lines.
Surprisingly — though, for some reason, Sebastian wasn’t surprised in the slightest — Pansy Parkinson didn't seem to care at all.
"Were your parents true purebloods or filthy blood traitors like the Weasleys?" she asked instead, clearly showing where her priorities lay, and it was enough for him to know that his earlier hope that there would be no more discrimination was merely a child's prayer.
"They have magic. That's the only thing you need to know." Sebastian cut short before focusing on his food. He noticed the familiar badge on her robes and silently thanked Dumbledore for assigning him to the Gryffindor Prefects instead. At least they never judged him, not even for dwelling with time and space like a bloody idiot — though he believed he had seen a gleam of reproach in Hermione's eyes as she'd uttered the word 'misadventure .
"All right, I believe you." She shrugged.
Sebastian wasn't convinced.
Pansy nudged a boy beside her, who looked at him with his piercing grey eyes. He was pale, with sleek blond hair so light it almost looked white, and also wore a badge. He reminded Sebastian of Ominis. That must be Malfoy.
"I'm Draco Malfoy," — it hadn't been so hard to guess, though now Sebastian thought he'd rather not meet him at all — "I saw you walking around today with that skint blood traitor and that mudblood Granger. You should have been assigned to us. It's not worth it to taint your blood status by associating with such filth," he spoke venomously, a mocking tone punctuating his sentences.
Skint blood traitor. Mudblood. He was exactly like those boors Sebastian so enjoyed thrashing in Crossed Wands when they had the guts to join. Perhaps he could do the same with him — blast him with Bombarda until his hair turned black (or he went bald; any of them would do).
Sebastian didn't know why he suddenly felt like defending the honour of two people he had met that same day, but he wished he could poison his food instead.
"Maybe next time you'll be considered fit for your assigned role. I suppose all that purity didn’t take you that far this time," he replied just as rudely.
Draco Malfoy made a weird face — a mix between stunned and angry and that half smirk that had begun to creep up his face as he had expected Sebastian to agree with him, and that had died on his lips but not yet fully, and the whole thing was so comical Sebastian had to hold back a snort. Because that was not (not in a million years, no matter how many artefacts he accidentally opened) going to happen, and when Draco Malfoy realised it, he seemed to have a hard time closing his mouth back to a dignified expression.
"I'd be careful if I were you, new student. I'm a Prefect!" he threatened, squinting his grey eyes and finally gaining enough control to curl his lip into a small smirk.
Spoiled bragger, Sebastian thought.
"And what exactly are you planning to do — take points away from your own House?" replied Sebastian, smirking back, enjoying how his face turned back to that ferret-like countenance.
"We share the same dormitory. Choose your words carefully." Draco Malfoy pursed his lips, his face becoming even paler. Sebastian wondered if he had even an ounce of blood in that body of his.
"We do indeed, so I suggest you sleep with one eye open," retorted Sebastian. Part of him knew that, logically, he should have been more mature about the situation.
But Merlin, he was starting to despise the brat.
(And the other part of him was still fantasising about that Bombarda-induced vengeance).
"You think you can scare me?"
Draco Malfoy snickered, and the line of Slytherins sitting on his side began staring at the two boys with piqued interest, wondering what all the fuss was about. It was quite unusual for two Slytherins to argue so openly, and even students from other Houses had begun to turn their heads towards their direction. Two big students beside Draco Malfoy snickered, too, as if on cue. Sebastian felt a wave of repugnance at how pathetic they looked.
"Definitely not, especially when you have your guard dogs next to you." Sebastian nodded at the two students mockingly. "Tell me, does your father pay them to be by your side? They can't be that stupid to volunteer to be in your presence."
The blond appeared to want to eat him alive, while the other two took a bit longer to fully understand his words before reproducing the same angry expression. Perhaps Sebastian understood your outburst: it was indeed gratifying to pour his disdain out. Though, unlike you, Sebastian didn't feel an ounce of regret. 
"All right, Draco, enough of this," interrupted Pansy with a sigh, before giving Sebastian a hateful look. "He's a blood traitor like Weasley, and he'd better take care of his priorities."
Sebastian ignored her, focusing back on his food and already dreading the idea of having to share his Common Room and dormitory with people like that. Maybe he could sleep in the Undercroft for the rest of the year. He wondered if that place still existed at all.
Strangely enough, the aftermath was quite unsatisfactory, and Sebastian felt his cheeks warm up as he realised he had indeed acted like an immature git, stepping down right at their level. He stared at his half-empty plate, abashed.
The time passing, then, felt particularly chilly under his skin.
After he felt content enough with his lunch, Sebastian stood up, ready to meet the two Gryffindors again. He faltered a little as he looked around their table, his chest squeezing as he caught a glimpse of you. And not just a glimpse.
He watched you as you engaged in a happy conversation with a red-haired girl next to you: she scarily resembled Ron, so he deduced that she must be his sister. The two Prefects sat opposite you, and on your other side was a boy with messy black hair and round glasses.
Sebastian noticed how you tried to avoid Ron's eyes, only glancing up at him through your lashes from time to time before looking back at the girl, and he wondered if you would even apologise or if you were waiting for the red-head to do so. How proud were you? How much did you care? To which length were you willing to go for the people you loved? Sebastian felt a compulsive need to know it all, a new wave of hunger right in the pit of his stomach, completely empty even after his heavy, albeit displeasing, lunch, and ready to be fed by what all he could find about you. He needed to know every last bit of information, if it was the last thing he did in that new world.
That eerie calm chilled his bones again, moderately assuaging his desire, like a glass of cold water before supper. Sebastian realised he was stuck, so he had no rush to do exactly that. He didn't need to be greedy, to devour — though the idea was tempting indeed — and to gobble up every bit of you yet. He could feast, he could savour, he could indulge in his sumptuous meal like he deserved. And then he would find his way back, satiated beyond belief.
Now that would take his edges off.
He shook his head, derailing that tingly feeling running down his lower stomach before it nestled, and averted his eyes, instead noticing that barely anyone had left the Great Hall, and he was the only Slytherin standing. He quickly walked out of the room and rested against a column, wondering if he should wait for Ron and Hermione to finish eating and meet him, or if he should just go alone.
--
Sebastian decided to walk to the Defence Against the Dark Arts tower, to the Undercroft, praying it would still be there, untouched by other students. When he arrived, he saw the familiar clock, and his heart swelled in fear and anticipation as he took out his wand and flourished it like he had done so many times he practically relied on muscle memory alone.
The clock hands started to turn, and he breathed a sigh of relief as a door opened to the familiar room that he considered an analogue to his house. He stepped in carefully and looked around. The furniture hadn’t moved an inch in a hundred years, still in the same position that Ominis knew by memory. He wondered about him: if he knew Sebastian would one day disappear forever only to remain stuck in the future, if he had waited for him in that same room hoping for him to come back, or if he was glad he was gone after all.
Sebastian wondered if he would ever return to his time: if Ominis and Anne had been waiting for him their entire lives, getting old without him, and if they had hoped that they would one day see him again, and then he had another terrifying thought: what if he went back yet it was too late?
What if all of his pals were much older than him once he did? What if, upon his return, he discovered Anne still suffering the effects of the curse, or worse yet, already deceased? What if Ominis had been made to return to his family, where he would have either changed into one of them or been tortured and murdered? What if she had found someone else to fall in love and share the rest of her life with, or what if the perilous journeys she was compelled to take killed her and he had not been there to save her?
"Scourgify!" he declared, pointing his wand at various objects around him to clean them, wishing he could reproduce the same effect on his mind.
Once he was done, he sat down, leaned against a column, and put his head in his hands, breathing deeply and feeling his eyes burn.
The calm had gone, replaced by pure, utter despair and panic. It had only been a few hours since he'd found himself there, confused and startled, and he knew it would be many more until he went back — if ever.
If ever.
The thought cut at his lungs like sharp glass, drawing quiet and wet sobs. He didn't know whether the artefact could ever be repaired at all. He didn't know whether he could control it enough to go back if it was repaired. For all he knew, he'd find himself in bloody Mesopotamia, if he was lucky enough to survive another travel. Or he'd get stuck between time and space, forever embedded in the threads between realities.
Based on those thoughts alone, Sebastian felt like he should be grateful to have found himself still in Hogwarts, as safe as he could be, but he wasn't.
He missed his routine, his life, his friends. He had disappointed Ominis, but he would give anything to hear his voice now, even if he yelled at him, to see Anne even if she did not want to see him, to read their old letters over and over again, to accompany her on whatever adventure she was setting out on. Heck , he wanted to hear Headmaster Black's voice scolding him for his horrible detention record, listen to Poppy ramble about her dear magical creatures, see Garreth blow up his potions, and even wanted to hear Imelda complain about Quidditch being cancelled. He missed it all.
He spent some time there alone — he did not know whether it was minutes or hours — weeping silently to himself. His wrists copiously moved to his eyes in a weak attempt to dry his tears, which kept falling nonetheless, undaunted, wetting his cardigan and shirt and skin.
Sebastian had always prided himself in his capacity to bottle up emotions, to avoid the crying and instead channelling those goopy feelings into something more useful, like studying or spellcasting. That had backfired, and Sebastian had to learn, awfully, that doing that didn't mean those emotions wouldn't force their way out in a way or another, and after what had happened in the Catacombs, where his feelings had exploded in the worst way imaginable, he had reluctantly decided that crying alone was the best way to let them flow naturally. With that and everything that had happened to him within a few weeks, not to mention the previous events, he felt overwhelmed.
He hated it.
After drying his tears as best he could, hoping that no one would notice his glistening eyes or swollen face, he decided to leave the Undercroft and find Ron and Hermione again; they were to give him his timetable, as he would join their class starting the next day. That was before he abandoned them.
He stepped out of the room and froze in his steps. You were sitting on the ground just outside, back against the wall, focused on your textbook. You looked up once you heard a noise, and saw a dishevelled and surprised Sebastian staring straight at you.
"Oh, well, hello again, new fifth-year!" You smiled politely.
He cursed under his breath, turning his face away slightly and rubbing the back of his hand under his nose again, in case any stray tears were still present.
"'Didn't know about another secret passage in the school," you continued, apparently ignoring his actions, before muttering to yourself, "It wasn't on the Map."
"Map?" he said in a rough, unfamiliar voice, surprising even himself.
You examined him, a quizzical expression on your face. "Have you been crying?" you asked bluntly, raising your eyebrows in surprise.
Great job, Sebastian. Perfect disguise.
He felt his cheeks warm up, and he turned away again. "No... not at all." He cleared his throat, trying to find a way to switch up the conversation when his eyes fell on your book. "What are you reading?"
You frowned slightly, obviously not believing him, but understanding that he wasn't willing to talk about it, and looked back at your book. "My Herbology book. Ron gave it back to me at lunch. Finally, I’d say."
Sebastian paused for a moment, unsure whether it was appropriate to ask about what happened in the corridor, but then he felt that ache again, right above his navel, and the words slipped from his mouth without restraint. "Did you two—"
"Don't." You interrupted him and averted your eyes, staring down at the cover musingly. "Don't bring it up again. That was already embarrassing as it was."
Sebastian stayed quiet, his eyes never leaving your form. He would very much have liked to just plunge into your brain at that moment and make himself at home there.
Perhaps he needed to add 'Learn Legilimency' to his to-do list.
"How so?" he asked at length, quite stupidly, he realised.
"I lost my temper," you said simply, and forced your eyes back towards him. Your next words seemed to eject out of your mouth painfully, like they were unfamiliar to you, and it took a while for you to utter them. You sighed, "I— I suppose… I owe you an apology."
An apology never felt so forced and so sincere at the same time. "Oh, you don't have to—"
"I do. It wasn't the best impression I made of myself." Your lips parted as you leaned your head back on the wall. "I suppose I have to apologise to Ron as well — properly, I mean."
Sebastian stayed quiet, observing you curiously. Why were you telling him all that? "I... suppose," he uttered, not knowing what else to say. That appeared to be enough for you because you didn't even seem to acknowledge his words.
"He was looking for you, you know? Hermione, too. They said they needed to give you your schedule."
"Ah, yes, they mentioned that before," said Sebastian, glad to change the topic. "I’ll meet them promptly then, I was—"
"—Too busy hiding in a place no one else knew about," you continued for him.
That made him still in his steps, a chill running down his spine. Your eyes met: his open wide, yours unwavering and daring him to contradict your statement.
Perhaps the previous topic was way better.
"I just..." Come on, Sebastian, think!
"I just stumbled upon it!"
Usually he was one to conjure lies out of thin air, but being around you made his brain seem to melt. Sebastian thought that it was because he didn't really want to lie to you, or perhaps it was because, with the way your eyes pierced him, he felt as if you already knew all his secrets, all his lies, and you certainly wouldn't be fooled, not even if he made up a whole story full of intricacies and chapters worth publishing.
He knew, however, that the answer was neither, and it lay deeper than anything he was willing to admit to himself so loudly that he had to face it.
"Right."
You closed your book and stood up, facing him. He couldn't read your expression properly, but he felt his body start to uncharacteristically shrivel at the intensity with which you stared him down. He was in Ron's place.
"Strange, isn’t it? how the new student suddenly stumbles upon a secret room on his first day — a room not even Fred and George know about."
You had spoken that last part quietly, as if only to yourself. In fact, Sebastian didn’t know who Fred and George were at all. And, frankly, he didn't want to. "What can I say? I’m full of surprises," he replied smoothly.
"Or full of lies." You hadn’t missed a beat.
It was frightening how easily you had switched back to the girl he had met in the corridor. And he pitied it. And he liked it. And perhaps he was a fool for liking it, and an even bigger fool for pitying it. "I didn’t know it was illegal to be in this room," he said, scowling.
"Illegal? Oh, not at all. But certainly unusual for someone who has supposedly never set foot in this school before."
You took a step towards him, and he had to fight the urge to take one back himself. There was something wrong in the air — something goopy and misty and heavy, penetrating his skin like Mallowsweet fumes, inebriating and dizzying and frighteningly close to losing control. He had only felt it once, in Hogsmeade nonetheless. Electric and impatient, but, now, shrouded. That day, it had been galvanising. Now it was almost shy — almost… veiled.
"Hermione told me that she barely only took you through the first two floors. You're not even supposed to know about the classroom's whereabouts, and yet you seem all too comfortable with your surroundings," you continued, unaware.
He felt his heartbeat accelerate. Why did you have to be so inquisitive? Was he supposed to tell you the truth now?
Dumbledore’s voice came back to his mind: "...unless it's absolutely necessary."
"I don’t know what you're talking about. It was an accident, as I said," replied Sebastian in a poor attempt to reason again, knowing full well you wouldn't believe him.
"Certainly a convenient one." He twitched involuntarily, like he had just got a shock. The corners of your lips lifted in a sneer. "You are an interesting case... Sebastian, was it?"
He nodded hesitantly and narrowed his eyes, baffled at your countenance and your confounding words. An interesting case?
You shuffled on your feet in a nimble movement and pressed your back against the wall again, leaning onto it. "Don’t forget to show me that room sometime, too."
"And why would I do that?" Sebastian was growing impatient at your behaviour, while some part of him was thrilled at your nonchalance. The more you bantered with him, teasing him like that, the more he felt his stomach flutter. He hated himself for it.
He felt a sudden urge to leave. To run to his Common Room, or back into the Great Hall, where the noise cramming his ears would be enough to shut down each and any possible much-too-loud beat of his heart, as if the mere sound of those tiny pulses would beguile him into wandering proscribed feelings. A deceit of his own body he wasn't willing to face, not even through his love of the forbidden. The hunger and ache had to stay just that: mere curiosity, more about her and her family than you.
But he stayed in the silence of the corridor, with a loud pounding noise in his ears.
"Because it would be a shame if other people in, let’s see, higher power were to know about it, too, wouldn’t it?" You moved a hand through your hair to push it back, clearing your vision, and Sebastian watched as your locks fell around your face, a twinge in his chest. "Although I do believe Professor Flitwick would love to have another room for his choir practice. Is there a good acoustic in it?" You peered over his shoulder and towards the now closed door with a playful smile, clearly only teasing him, but the way the light fell on the tresses framing your visage was a bit too familiar to him. His mind stalled for a moment, and he didn't want those beats to stop anymore.
"Why do you care about this room so much?" Sebastian shifted his weight, now taking a step forward as well, and your eyes flickered down when you perceived the movement. Your lip twitched a bit.
"Why do you?" You simply replied, shrugging. "A secret room is a secret room. Don't you want to be a proper new student and get in good with the Professors?"
Sebastian felt his stomach boil at your singsong tone. "That seems to be more of a Gryffindor trait."
"Is it? And how much does a supposed stranger know about our Houses?"
His breath hitched and his resolve crumbled immediately at your quick retort. Sebastian warmed all over and stilled in his steps, feeling a bit too heavy on his legs. The image of the girl who lost her temper in the corridor was the one he had expected to evoke, pity even, yet she was nowhere to be found as your half-lidded gaze stared at him impishly.
"Besides," you continued, clearly feeding off his reaction with increasing confidence. "You should really get to know your Slytherin peers a bit more. Hopefully you won't become like them, but alas if you do, you'll end up snitching on this place yourself."
The thrill gradually disappeared, replaced by unadulterated annoyance. He found himself lowering his head, and he glared down at you, heart pounding in his ears. Your eyes stayed unwavering in his, though Sebastian noticed your crossed arms tightening marginally around your chest. "You can only wish to be like us," he hissed.
As you lifted an eyebrow daringly, he stepped forward again, finally free of that marbly perception that had spread through his body at your mockery, and towered over you. You tilted your head up, eyes never leaving his, the red and gold making them stand out in a way that only sent a new wave of anger through Sebastian's bones.
You could only wish to be like her.
"My dream in life."
Your voice rustled softly against your teeth, stretching with the smirk you wore, daring him to retort again. Sebastian felt it spread before he could even process your words entirely, burning through his guts all the way up to his trembling hands. That hunger. Craving. Ache. And something else — something that made the corners of his mouth tingle and his head tilt forward slightly more. He inhaled deeply from his nose, breathing out gratingly, air straining against his throat.
"Shall I serve as your future proxy and tell the faculty about it now?" you continued, voice glottal and purring, faring on the satisfaction of his heavy breathing on your face. "Might save you time ahead."
A low chuckle left his lips. "Even if you told the faculty about it, I could always pretend you were the one who showed it to me and kept it a secret all this time. After all, I am the new student, aren’t I?"
He grinned to himself as your smile fell slightly, squinting as you looked at him, but it only lasted a moment before you spoke again.
"And why, pray tell, would anyone believe that I would fraternise with a Slytherin enough to show said person a secret room?" You leaned your head on the side, and Sebastian’s heart jumped again. "And why would I turn myself in, given I would have, supposedly, kept my room hidden for five years?"
"It's my room," replied Sebastian lowly, instinctually, voice slightly trembling, blood rising to his head. Despite the height difference, he was starting to feel smaller and smaller every time you spoke, crushing his resolve word by word. It made him shrivel. "I knew it before. You're not welcome in it, nor is it any of your business."
"You knew it before," you repeated blankly, like you didn't care. "So you’re admitting to having learnt about this place already?"
What?
A heartbeat, a glint in your irises, and Sebastian's heart dropped pathetically as he realised he had given you exactly what you had been searching for — what you had wanted him to admit all this time. He shifted his weight back, leaning away from you. "No, I never said—"
"—I believe the Professors know about your true history — especially Dumbledore, you can't trick that one — so I know they won’t be fooled," you continued undaunted to shut each and every one of his possible retorts. "Plus, even if you told them that lie after I snitched on this place, they’d still let it go and take control of this room — Filch in particular. I won’t get into trouble just for keeping an insignificant room secret, but you would lose your special place."
His mouth fell open, for once at a loss for words. He could only stay silent as you threatened to reveal his hidden spot with that undeterred ragging tone of yours. Sebastian would usually brush off any threat against him, especially if it involved getting the help of teachers of all people — he was known for breaking rules on any occasion — but he couldn't ignore your words. He knew you had no idea how much that room meant to him; would you have cared if he told you? Would you have taken your words back? Why would he care if you had? He had promised himself to stay away from you, and that was exactly what he was planning to do. This conversation had gone on for too long.
"Who—Who says it's my special place?" Sebastian tried to salvage it, although his disingenuous and trembling voice betrayed him almost immediately.
"You reek of dust and humidity," you said with a satisfied smile, as if insouciantly waiting to shake his hand after your checkmate. "As if you've spent a lot of time in there just now. Also, no student in Hogwarts with more than a pea for a brain would ever refuse the comfort of a secret room no one has discovered yet."
You had deduced it... by his smell?
Sebastian had still been processing when you gathered your things and looked back at him, breaking into a genuine smile. "You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, and mind you, there are a lot of them in this school, so you'd better get used to it."
The corner of his lips quirked up against his will, heart gradually slowing down again. "Well, you did just threaten me in a way."
You chuckled — an unfeigned, carefree chuckle with no malicious hint — and shrugged. "I was never going to snitch on you, that would have been incongruous. I just wanted to see how this would go."
"I don't follow," he said at length, tilting his head slightly and raising an eyebrow at that. "Were you just playing with me?"
Sebastian didn't know why he had asked. It had been quite clear since you started talking that you had only run rings around him like he was a bloody amateur. He chewed on the insides of his cheeks in chagrin. You averted your eyes with a smile still on your face, and Sebastian wasn't sure whether to feel impressed or annoyed.
"Call it an investigation." You raised your hands in surrender. "I’m no Sherlock Holmes, of course, but..."
"Sherlock who?"
"He... Never mind." You shook your head, and looked back at him for a moment, biting your lip as if facing a conundrum. You sighed. "The thing is, from your perspective my threat should've appeared empty, or unfounded, because, as you said, the Professors would have believed that I was the one who showed you the room, as a more experienced student."
Sebastian listened intently, growing more confused the more you spoke. "Wait, so—"
"So, if you had nothing to hide and had really just found out about the room, you would've been less... defensive ," you explained, and Sebastian found no contempt in your voice: it was neutral, a bit excited maybe, but not mocking — perhaps only a little condescending, he noted bitterly. "Or, more specifically, you would have been defensive about me being out of line rather than about the room itself — more annoyed , I believe, at the fact that I got all up in your personal business uninvited."
The way you spoke, with unalloyed certitude and indisputable pride — though with an almost riveting aspect in your self-assurance, if he dared to admit it — seemed almost preposterous to Sebastian.
"Also," you continued, "if you had really stumbled upon it so easily, you would've been more shocked about the fact that no one else in the school had, wouldn't you?"
That actually... Made sense.
“What if I were just a new student who had accidentally found a room,” began Sebastian hesitantly, although he couldn't stop himself from being rather dazzled — and envious. And definitely ill at ease at your aptitude at reading people — him specifically. “And had completely panicked when another more experienced student threatened to reveal me as if I had done something horribly wrong?”
You looked at him, eyes shifting between his right and left one in a sequence. “Yeah,” you finally countenanced with a blithe nod. “That would have been perfectly plausible, too.”
Sebastian’s face fell, exasperated beyond measure. He suddenly felt a wave of lassitude wash over him and let out a world-weary sigh that earned him a small smile from you.
"Just know that you don't know me as much as you think you do," he said at length.
“I don’t know you at all,” you confirmed with a bright smile. “But I definitely enjoyed this. "
You pointed between the two of you, and Sebastian faltered, following your hand with his eyes for a moment before his gaze fixed on you again. "What?"
"It's just… I didn't lose my temper this time, and... well — it was sort of... nice."
Nice. The word you had used was nice. Sebastian found it anything but that: it had been humiliating to say the least. But again, he was the loser.
"You didn't lose your temper alright," said Sebastian, looking away. "Though we may need to get even on that."
Your eyebrows lifted and you broke into a giggle. "Yeah, perhaps. Even if I'm sure I'm not as much of a smooth talker when you’re not in… well… emotional distress." 
To his own surprise, Sebastian smiled back, genuinely and widely and almost tenderly, letting his chest tingle freely and a little more than needed. "So you took advantage of me."
"That I did." You nodded at him. "It’s a pleasure doing business with you." And with that, you started to walk away, leaving him stunned but smiling in the middle of the corridor.
"Ah, before I go," you suddenly added, turning around and walking backwards, and his eyes shot to you once more; "last time I saw Ron and Hermione, they were near the Grand Staircase, on the second floor. If I meet them, I’ll send them to you."
You waved at him and turned around, walking down the stairs and disappearing from his sight.
[Read more]
Taglist:
@lovely-maryj @yuzuhasbae @mosf13 @rbfacee @prichuchan-blog @h0neeyy @lina-prongs @moonlightsolo @ninicol @gayandfairycore @nanako-sakura @epicy0n @shiro-from-cafeberry
(I'm having trouble tagging some of you, sorry :( )
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lovelynim · 3 months
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omggg, congrats on your milestone Fabi, i'm so happy for u <3🪷✨ for the request, uh- may i humbly suggest writing something with lee!Rafayel and ler!Reader? maybe using him as a canvas for real lol- i'm- i'm sorry it's just- ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ🤌🏻
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I didn't expect this many Rafayel's fans to show up in such a short amount of time, hahaha
But since you guys want to see him get got so much, who am I to disagree? ~
Also, my apologies to the last anon, but I'm smushing you together with the other two since it's the same characters, hope you don't mind!
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Thin, thick, long and soft brushes, all scattered around your canvas. A color palette with different shades of red, yellow and orange, perfect to paint a beautiful sunset. If the canvas in question wasn’t putting so much effort in trying to run away, this would probably be the most peaceful painting session you ever experienced. But as Rafayel, a great and known artist once said, “chaos is a symbol of wisdom, every genius has a messy desk”.
“If you don’t stop moving, I’m going to have to start all over, Rafayel,” you tease him, keeping a firm grip around his wrists while you drag the paintbrush all the way from his forearm down to his ribs, leaving a light yellow trace behind. 
“Sohohomeohohone, hehEHEHelp!! T-thihihis is tohohorturehEHEHE!!” Rafayel cried out as if this was some kind of murder attempt. However, no matter how much he pleaded or begged, his words wouldn’t make it to your heart - not this time, not after testing your patience for so damn long.
You click your tongue, shaking your head, pretending to pity the poor artists. “Torture? This is art, Rafayel. And art is supposed to be felt, right?” You smirked, not caring the least about the fresh drops of paint sliding down your canvas and tainting the floor underneath him. “Now, I think we could use some red here,” you explained calmly while Rafayel watched in horror while you dipped the paintbrush in the red ink and brought it back to your canvas - also known as his bare torso.
“NohoHOHOH!!” He laughed, kicking his feet like a little kid throwing a tantrum, but there was no way you were going to let him go this easy. “Plehehehease! I sahAHahaid I’m sohohorry!”
He twisted and turned his body away, trying to avoid at all costs the brush covered in ink that was dancing over his stomach, tickling his tummy with soft and quick strokes, one after the other, over and over again.
“You should feel sorry for making me work so hard just to paint a little,” you grunted, tightening your grip around his wrists while you circled his navel with the paint brush. With a sadistic look on your eyes, you admired his face - a complete mess of laughter, you could barely tell the drops of paint and the natural blush on his cheeks apart. Cute. “Now, I think we need to add another layer of orange here, the colors are a bit bland…”
“AHahAHAHA, i-it’s goohohohod! N-no mohohore lahahayers!!” He laughed, gasping when you tried to draw a little awkward-shaped sun on his chest. The redness on his cheeks was starting to spread down to his neck, the colors of his skin mixing with the ones from the ink, creating something that actually looked like a sunset - well, maybe if you squint your eyes a little, but still a sunset. 
“Ahaha- p-please!” Rafayel wheezed, dropping his head back into the floor tiredly, trying to catch up his breath. His body trembled, tingling all over. “Y-you should let… t-the ink dry before… continuing…”
With the paintbrush still in your hand, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 
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starrclown · 4 months
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☆ Redesign Time/Have Tea With Me: The Black Characters of Hazbin Hotel, The Radio Demon ☆
Note: Okay I kinda feel like a cheat because it isn't a whole redesign, it's just two sketchy headshots. Sorry it's not a full design. Sorry also it isn't my Stolitz Rewrite... but I have 10 followers now!! I know that's not alot but hey, it means people actually WANT to read these blogs and see my art. I'll take it!!)
Ahoy Matey's!! So there has been two controversies going on withing the Hazbin Hotel fandom. 1 has been long term while the other is semi recent.
Have tea with me while we talk about it 🫖🍵:
1. The black/people of color don't have any features of their race.
2. Alastor's voodoo symbols.
I will not be talking about Alastor's voodoo. I am a white boy and I am not educated enough to talk about Voodoo. What I'm here to talk about is that none of the poc look like poc. Let's play another game. What is the race of these characters:
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Have your guess? Their black. Sera is black, Velvette is black, and Alastor is Creole. All are black and or mixed and none of them have any ethnic features. All of them are gray. (I'm just saying it's sad when me, a white boy that has 2c/3a hair, has curlier hair then people with textured hair.)
(Also, Alastor, who is not a good guy but is the good guy team, is light gray. Velvette, who is on the villains side, is dark gray. I'm not accusing Viv of being racist but I find it weird.)
The problem is so easy to fix. GIVE THEM ETHNIC FEATURES!! ITS SO EASY!! No one's expecting you to draw every individual braid or dreadlock but oh my god!! Give them textured hair! Or I don't know, NOT ASHY GRAY SKIN!! BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL VIV!! YOU CAN MAKE THEM BROWN ITS OKAY I SWEAR!! Sorry that got aggressive. Look, I just said that I am not a poc but there's no way they don't have black people on the SpindleHorse team. Hell, you can just ask people on Twitter or the black people you know!! Seriously, it's not hard to learn to draw ethnic features! It's really fun actually! I had so much fun drawing the second hairstyle!! Speaking if which!! (Drum noises)
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Drawing these hairstyles were so fun yall. Andddddd, you get a sneak peak at what my Alastor redesign might look like! If you can tell what I'm going for then you get a cookie. Dude the second hairstyles was so fun. Like honestly. I do think I can do the first hairstyle, (I think I know the nameof this hairstyle but I don't want to be wrong.), better but thats for me to practice on my own time. Seriously I had so much fun drawing these. Hell I didn't even line them. Those are sketches with colors. These aren't final designs or anything, I still need to adjust colors and get his outfit planned out but I think I know where I'm going with this!!
The hairstyles I used:
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It's just really sad seeing how SpindleHorse treats its poc characters. Textured hair can come in so many different types and hairstyles, you just wasting them making have straight hair with choppy waves. (Side note: Does anyone else like get excited when they draw new things? Like I was happy drawing Al's hair. I got excited learning how to draw my curls. I tried learning how to draw a hijab. It's really fun actually!! I highly suggest to challenge yourself drawing other types of hair types, races, religions, clothing. Seriously it helps your art and representation is important.)
There were other examples I couldn't list but I don't want this to be long. I want to get back to my Stolitz post but I HAD to draw Alastor with textured hair. Seriously Viv, he's Creole, at least make him look like it if your not even going to try and make him look like what he's described.
I have about 60% of the Stolitz post done! I encourage you to draw something new and to commit mass amounts of tax fraud!! Goodbye Matey's!!
- ⭐️StarClown⭐️
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galaxiadreams · 9 months
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Summer Love <3 (Alhaitham x reader Modern AU)
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❦ Warnings: mentions of lack of self confidence(only like once)
❥ Genre: Fluff, romance <3
❥ Word Count: 2,831
❦ Synopsis: Your bestie Yoimiya begged you to go to a summer camp down in Sumeru with her. You were hesitant, at first. But who would've thought a summer camp changed your love life forever...
a/n: Hellooooo!!! This little fic is inspired by my own experience during summer camp. I had a couple "summer camp crushes" and this is kinda of what I fantasied of doing ehehehe. I apologize in advance about the possible grammar/spelling mistakes. Sorry if any sentences doesn't make sense. I'm still trying to learn more about writing! I am also trying out a new format. Please give me any suggestions!
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Your best friend begged you to go to a summer camp down in Sumeru with her. You were hesitant, you wanted this summer to be relaxing for once. Go wherever you pleased, and do whatever you wanted. But her sparkling puppy eyes are working far better than you expected and you relented. 
“Pleaseeeee, y/n!!! I know you’re not that interested in ancient runes or whatever. Who knows, you might find a cute guy there! I heard Sumeru boys are a different breed! Plus, it’s at the Akademiya, THE top university in all of Teyvat. You know, your dream school. Maybe this trip there will send a message into the universe to make you get into your dream school!” Dammit Yoimiya, no wonder she’s your best friend, she sure knows the way to your heart. 
....................
After a long boat ride from Inazuma to Port Ormos, you were greeted by lush green grass, warm humid air, and the pungent smell of Padisarahs. A little melody sung by a bird attracted your attention. A Sumeru Dusk Bird. Its vibrant blue feathers gleaming in the sunlight due to the natural oil produced by the animal.The song is both simple and complex, and it stays with you long after you have heard it. Many, like your mother, may find the sound produced by the bird as a nuisance, overly screeching and loud. But you think otherwise, to you, nature is art in its most natural form. Both held complexity and simplicity in its form. Both evoke deep emotions within you.
The trip from Port Ormos to Sumer City wasn’t too long. But upon arriving, you couldn’t hold the gasp of admiration upon seeing the city before you. Sumeru, the city of wonder. Where nature and cityscapes blend seamlessly. Skyscrapers that reach the sky are embellished with green, lush plants. Trees stood tall and proud, shading the bustling citizens beneath.
You took a deep breath and smiled, this unexpected trip to Sumeru might be a good one.
....................
That’s where you meet him. The grey haired quiet dude from your Ancient runes summer camp council group. 
The first day you arrived at summer camp, you were enchanted. Sure, boys from back home were nice, but ohhhhhhh boy. Yoimiya was right, Sumeru boys are something else. You couldn’t help but feel all giddy when it was announced that he would be in your little council group with Yoymiya. Gosh, it felt embarrassing almost. You just learned the guy’s name, Alhaitham, after a little icebreaker and introduction. Hell, the two of you only have been breathing in the same room for merely 10 minutes. He was a total stranger, and you were totally crushing on him. You can’t help but feel shallow. 
Kudos to Yoimiya, she read you like an open book. The moment Alhaitham walked into the room she gave you a sultry glance. She knew your type well. When lunch time came, she made it her life mission to find a way to make you sit with Alhaitham. That “life mission” was extremely easy to accomplish. All she had to do was befriend Kaveh, who was introduced as Alhaitham’s childhood best friend, another hottie in Yoymiya’s opinion. 
♡ The Akademiya cafeteria is a large, open space with high ceilings and coloured lights shining through ancient stained glass windows. The noise level is deafening, with the sound of hundreds of students talking, laughing, and eating. The combination of strangers and loudness was making you lose your appetite.You watched Yoimiya, Kaveh, and a couple of new acquaintances chatting animatedly, and you felt a pang of jealousy. Not of Yoimiya but of the conversation they’re having; your introverted ass can’t hold a proper conversation with a stranger for 2 minutes, and here is your best buddy beaming at something stupid Kaveh said. Sometimes it makes you think you bore Yoimiya. Sighing, you sneak a glance at Alhaitham sitting across from you, he has a handsome face with a strong jawline, and high cheekbones. His porcelain skin made his turquoise eyes shimmer in the light. The deep glow of red-orange hue near his pupil creates a contrast that reminded you of the unison of the forest and desert in Sumeru. You watched his eyes move to absorb every single word in the book he was holding…you were getting butterflies, but the butterflies plummeted when those eyes flicker to yours. You quickly averted your gaze towards Yoyimya and Kaveh, the heat of embarrassment painted your cheeks a cheery red. You promised yourself that you were not shallow, and you vowed that you’re not a hopeless romantic.
The next few days were filled with teasing from Yoimiya and Kaveh (that freaking girl couldn’t keep her mouth shut). The two of them made sure you and Alhaitham sat together at all times. Yoimiya went as far as refusing to partner with you during activities in order for you and Alhaitham to work together. As you become acquainted with Alhaitham more, he becomes more comfortable with you. He’s not stupid, he notices all the shy glances and blushing cheeks when the two of you are together. Especially the obnoxious, oh-so not obvious suggestions made by Kaveh.To be honest, he’s not new to this behavior from women. The guy knows he’s attractive and he has been on various blind dates orchestrated by Kaveh himself (Alhaitham only relented on the condition Kaveh would stop pestering him about it). At first, Alhaitham wasn’t quite interested. He found your seemingly “secretive” glances rather uncomfortable, annoying even. But what piqued his interest is your love for physics and Astrophysics. Alhaitham is quite well-versed in this field, and this is the first time he has heard anyone claiming the want to pursue physics. 
♡ “Y/n. It’s your turn now, two truths and one lie.”  “Well, I had thought about this for a while now. Ahem— I choked on a peach pit as a baby and nearly died. I want to have a career in Astrophysics or a major in physics. I have a pet tarantula named Benny boy,” Yoimiya let out a loud laugh upon hearing your statement about the spider, “and Yoimiya is not allowed to answer.” The girl gave you a teasing grin and pursed her lips. After your group failed to answer correctly, you gave them the lie: You had a pet tarantula named Benny Boy. You were deathly afraid of spiders, if you had a personal hell, it would be filled with those nasty creatures.  As your council group walked towards the courtyard for recreation time, Alhaitham surprisingly struck up a conversation with you.  “You said you’re interested in studying physics?” “Oh yes, it’s rather a new interest that I’ve decided to pursue only recently. After the whole being an actress thing fell apart”  “Hmmm, and you said you want a career in Astrophysics?” You were surprised he even paid attention to what you said. You nodded in response.  “Well, I have a family member that teaches Astrophysics at the Akademiya, if you’re really interested, I could introduce you to them.” Alhaitham offered, while opening the courtyard gate for you.  “Oh heavens really? That would be great!” You smiled at him. Goddamn, that smile of yours caught him off guard. Your smile was like the sun, warm and inviting. It lit up your face and made the excitement in your eyes sparkle. After finding a seat by a marble bench under a giant Adhigama tree, the two of you converse all there is about physics and your interests, from string-theory to philosophy to art, Alhaitham never met someone so knowledgeable and opinionated about some of his favorite subjects.
After that late afternoon little discussion under the Adhigama tree, you and Alhaitham opened up to each other. Hell, you even started to make some physics jokes with him. Celestia must’ve placed a curse on him, because he started to look forward to talking to somebody, he wanted to talk to you, he wanted to be with you. Yeah shocker, the seemingly antisocial genius wanted to talk to a girl. What’s even worse for Alhaitham, is that he started to feel nervous being around you. He was never nervous around anybody, whether it’s strangers or the freaking Grand Sage, he never felt this strange fluttering in his stomach. What’s even more uncanny for him is that he found himself staring at you on multiple occasions. When a conversation ends, he would usually return to his books, but since he met you, he started to leave his books in his dorm. This way, he could listen to your voice, and see you smile. This has to be some curse, Alhaitham thought, he even tried to convince himself that you’re not all that great. But those are just futile attempts, there was something enigmatic about you. It’s hard to notice for the common eyes, some might even describe you as plain and average. But with Alhaitham’s sagacious eyes, he could see right to your soul. Alhaitham was bewitched, you’re the one that placed this curse of infatuation (perhaps even love) upon him. Through all the secret glances and “accidental” hand-touching enacted by both you and Alhaitham, the final bouquet has arrived. 
♡ You took a deep breath and tried to focus on the positive. You were feeling rather melancholic considering this will be last night you’ll be spending in Sumeru, the city of Wonder, where you met new besties for lifes and became an official ambivert (according to both Yoyiyma and Kaveh, two renowned extroverts). You couldn't help but smile as you stared at the reflection staring at you in the mirror. You wore a flattering green dress, it was made of a soft, flowing silk fabric that swayed with your movements. The colour of the dress brought out the e/c in your eyes and made your skin look even more radiant. You wore your hair down in loose waves, and your makeup was simple but elegant. White pearl earrings and necklaces completed your looks. As long as Yoimiya is here, you’ll always manage to look like a princess. Soft Sumeru music played as you and Yoimiya walked into the cafeteria. The usual loud, squalor of a cafeteria was transformed into a beautiful forest with soft fairy lights hanging from the tall stone ceiling. Plants, flowers and the soft light from candles placed upon the tables gave the most peaceful atmosphere possible. “Good evening.” Alhaitham's voice was deep and smooth. You whipped around to face the tall man behind you. He is wearing a well-tailored suit that fits him perfectly. His broad shoulders were enhanced in the black material. His hair was also styled, the usual strand of hair covering his left eye was slicked back.  As per usual, he had a confident and clamming demeanor, and he made you feel flustered immediately. You can’t deny the literal rizz radiating off of him.  “Good evening, you look really good by the way.” you complimented, why is it so hot in here?  Alhaitham smiled a little at the compliment. The reserved scholar felt his cheeks warming up a little. In return, he pulled a chair out for you, gesturing for you to sit. Shocked, you quickly sat down and thanked him. You were screaming inside, a man with manners and chivalry is making the butterflies swarmmmmmm. Alhaitam took a seat right next to you and filled up the fancy wine glasses for the both of you.
“How was your day?” He inquired, while taking a sip out of his drink. He initiated the conversation first, you noticed gleefully.  “It was alright, except for the tower building exercise. Can’t believe that Haypasia girl tripped and fell on our group’s tower! We would’ve been first place if she watched where she was walking!” You complained jokingly, Alhaitham chuckled at the disaster that occurred earlier today.  The two of you conversed throughout dinner, but you couldn’t help but notice how your elbow and his were touching the entire time. You wanted to assert dominance and didn’t move away, it seems he had the same thought. He didn’t move either, Alhaitham only leaned closer to you while talking. His eyes barely left yours while the both of you talked about life and dreams. One of the most attractive traits about him, besides literally everything, is his voice. He spoke with clarity, it's the kind of voice that makes you want to listen to him talk for hours. When he speaks, his words are carefully chosen and delivered with conviction. He has a way of making you feel like you're the only person in the room.  When the banquet ended, there was a surprise slow dance outside in the courtyard. When the organizers of the summer camp announced for everyone to find a partner, your e/c eyes immediately found his turquoise ones looking at you just the same. Alhaitham cleared his throat and held out his right hand.  “Would you like to have this dance with me?”  “Of course. I would never reject you.” You laughed and held his hands in yours. His warm calloused hands sent electric shots through your body and his. His eyes widen at the softness of your hands. Your already smiling face beamed when you saw his sudden red cheeks and bashfulness. The waltz music started, and the two of you swirled to the beat, Alhaitham taking the lead. The two of you weren’t afraid to stare into each other’s eyes. This is the first time you experienced what time stops truly meant. Alhaitham couldn’t help but sigh, it wasn’t a sigh of annoyance, but a sigh of endearment. The blue light of the full moon lit your perfect face, the gleaming of your pearl earrings made you an angel from heaven. A gift from Celestia just for him. Alhaitham was lost in a whole different dimension with you, to the young scholar, only the music, you, him, and the moon existed at the moment. Was this love? The both of you couldn’t describe this feeling that suddenly blossomed in your guy’s chest; it was this faint struggle of breath combined with a weird sense of yearning. It was truly indescribable. This continued throughout the whole waltz, the music only brought the two of you closer, closer, and closer. Both of you fell from heaven when the dance came to an end. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized how close you and Alhaitham were, both your noises were touching, you could feel his breath on your lips. “Eeeeeek! Just kiss already!” an excited screech made you pull away from Alhaitham. Yoimiya was with Kaveh and a few other campers with her phone on record in her hand.  “Oh by the way Alhaitham, me and Yoyimya recorded the whole entire dance! Ehe!” Kaveh grinned, pointing towards his own phone in his hand. The whole crowd all erupted in loud cheers and laughter. 
When it was time to say goodbye, Alhaitham didn't want to leave. Both of you guys didn’t want to leave this secret paradise. He asked for your contacts and if he could see you again, and who are you to say no. Plus, the two of you would be attending the Akademiya in a couple of months, imagine the excitement and glee in Yoimiya’s eyes and cheers when you told her you got into the number one University in Teyvat. You received the acceptance email right after the dance that night. Alhaitham walked away with a smile on his face (which is unnerving for Kaveh) knowing that he had met someone truly special. 
....................
You leaned your elbow against the window frame as you stared out at the sun setting beneath the endless ocean. The sky was ablaze with different shades of orange, pink, and purple. It was a breathtaking sight, and you felt lucky to be able to witness such beauty and art. The colours in the sky grew more and more vibrant as the sun disappeared, it was the perfect way to end a day. You turned your head to a sleeping Yoimiya hugging your arm. The sunlight brightening her features, you chuckled at your best girl and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Your head rests against the cool glass as you look up at the very first star that has appeared that night. A single white spot on a tapestry of orange and pink, you kept your focus on the sky as more stars appeared to embellish the darkening sky. The hum of the engine on the boat rocked you to sleep as you sailed home to Inazuma. The last thought you had before leaping off to dreamland was of a certain grey haired male and his luscious voice. At that moment you decided to embrace the fact that you’re a hopeless romantic, because as crazy as it may sound, you knew you just found your soulmate.
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intotheelliwoods · 18 days
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Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?
(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)
Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?
I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.
I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.
I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.
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leclerqueensainz · 1 year
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A Family of Three (C.L 16) - Part.I- Discoveries, Reunions, and Surprises
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Paring: Charles Leclerc X OC!Marie Anderson
Synopsis: Charles and Marie ended any chance of a relationship years ago. They just didn't expect to have to share custody of a child after the death of their best friend.
⚠️ Warnings: Mention of death and murder, swearing, Charles being a little aggressive in his reactions, mention of sex and drug use. (This chapter may contain triggers!) (+16)
**In this story, Jules Bianchi died in 2019, not 2015, which changes some facts in the careers of the drivers.
A.N: Hello! How are you doing? After a long time, I finally brought Part 1 translated into English! Remembering that English is not my first language, so there may be some mistakes! I tried my best!
Feedback is always welcome. Let me know if you liked it!
Word Count: 7.882
Read the prologue here!
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January 15th, 2023 - Milan, Italy
"Good morning, Marcella!" I greet my secretary as I enter the office. "Any news for me?" I ask the blonde girl who is sitting with her eyes fixed on the computer in front of her.
"Good morning, Marie! And...HA! I did it!" Marcella suddenly jumps, startling me. "I'm sorry! It's just that I managed to schedule the meeting with Fred Lacroix for next week." She says, trying to compose herself, and I smile."
"That's great! You're amazing," I say, leaning over next to her at the table and taking a peek at her computer. "Do you think he'll be in a good mood? He's not exactly known for being pleasant when it comes to selling and buying his art," I ask and Marcella just shrugs.
"I don't know, and honestly, I don't worry about it," she says, and I can see a smug smile spread across her face. "Either way, we're awesome! We always get what we want," she finishes, and I laugh at her enthusiasm. 
I agree with Marcella. We are awesome and always get what we want when it comes to work.
After Jules died, I moved from Monaco to Italy. I felt like I needed to leave it all behind, even if it meant burying a part of who I was with my past. I needed a fresh start, and I closed my eyes to my old life. I had nothing left in Monaco. Nothing held me back or was even worth staying for.
I needed time and a new life, and that's exactly what I found when I came to Italy, where I was able to enroll in arts just in time to continue the school year. And a year and a half later, I graduated and started interning at one of the best galleries in Milan. Shortly after that, I realized I had a lot of potential for curating and dedicated myself to the field, of which today I am still a part, with the highest success rate in recruiting and selling new artists.
Today, I can say that my life is more than comfortable, and I spend so much of my day occupied with work that I hardly have time to think about everything I left behind a few years ago.
"Ah!" Marcella screams and catches me off guard, making me take a few steps back.
"Oh my god, Marcella! You're going to kill me, girl!" I say and put my hand on my chest, feeling my heart skipping like crazy.
"Sorry! I just remembered you got a letter this morning," she says, and I swear my confusion is written all over my face. "I mean, you didn't really get it, it's more like 'they passed the envelope under the door while we were closed, and I stepped on it when I got here'," she says and pulls out a crumpled white envelope with a half footprint on it. "I tried to clean it up, but as you can see, it didn't go very well. Seriously, someone should clean the streets of Milan more," she says and hands me the envelope.
I examine the envelope to find the sender, but I only find "Marie Anderson" written in delicate handwriting.
"There's no sender. That's strange." I say and Marcella nods.
"I thought it was kind of creepy too. I mean, who still sends letters In 2023? Isn't it easier to send a message on Insta? Or like, an email?" I nod my head and shrug.
"Well, let it be," I say and start walking towards my office. "Please let anyone who wants to speak to me know to leave a message. And that includes my mom, okay?" I say and Marcella nods. "Great, thanks," I say, entering my office and closing the door behind me.
I throw my bag on the desk and sit in my chair. I analyze the envelope in my hand again and for a moment, I feel a strange sensation as I stare at it.
"Okay, let's end the suspense, Marie," I say to myself and I grab a staple remover from the pencil holder, passing it over the glued part of the envelope.
Opening the envelope, I take out a sheet of paper with the same handwriting as the envelope, and two photos of a little boy with dark hair and eyes who I swear I've never seen before, but who somehow seems very familiar to me. I turn over the photos to see if there's anything written on the back.
"Vincenzo. 24/12/2021" 
Was written in one of the photos. The little boy was sitting next to what looked like a Christmas tree. I took a look at the next photograph, where the same boy, who seemed a bit older, was sitting on a mat surrounded by toys. "Vincenzo. 19/12/2022."
Feeling even more confused and with a strange sensation spreading through my chest, I picked up the letter I had left aside on the table and began to read it.
France, January 2nd, 2023.
Marie,
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've thought about how I would write to you. You don't know me, and to be honest, I don't think anyone in his circle of friends and family has even heard of me.
My name is Cecilia, and that's all you need to know about me right now, aside from what I'm about to write to you next: I was engaged to Jules Bianchi.
I know this is strange and perhaps even unbelievable, but it's true. Jules and I had a brief but passionate love story. I loved Jules, and I can say that he loved me too.
Two days before his death, I found out that I was pregnant. I gave birth to Vincenzo on December 24th, 2019. He was a healthy and strong little boy, very similar to Jules.
I loved him from the moment I found out he was growing inside me. The result of something so pure and beautiful, from my relationship with Jules.
I know it's a lot for you to process right now, but so that you can know that I'm telling you the truth, there are two photos of Vincenzo. I want you to look at them and see Jules, just as I do every time I look at my son.
"I've been wanting to write to you for a long time. Jules saw you as a sister. I'm sorry I hid this from you and his family too, but I was so afraid. Afraid of rejection, of being seen as a liar. I couldn't go through any of that. I only had Jules, and after he left me, there was no one else I could trust, so I've been raising Vincenzo alone until now, but I don't think I can do it anymore. Vincenzo has a family besides me. And I need him to grow up knowing that he is loved.
I promise I to explain everything you need to know. Please meet me at the café where you used to meet every time you came together to Nice. January 18th at 4 pm.
- Cecilia.
My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.
What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?
I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.
But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?
With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.
My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.
What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?
I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.
But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?
With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.
"Yes?" She asks before looking at me for a moment and entering my office complete with a worried expression. "Are you okay, Marie?" She says kneeling by my side.
"Book a flight for tomorrow morning. I need to go to France."
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January 18th, 2023. - Nice, France.
I stare again at the clock hanging on the wall above the counter of the small café. 3:45 PM.
15 minutes. Just 15 minutes until I could find out who Cecilia was and why she decided to contact me now, after all this time. And why me? Yes, Jules, Charles, and I were always very close despite the age difference. But why reach out to me? If she intended to introduce the boy to Jules' family, why didn't she contact Christine or Philippe?
I hadn't seen Jules' family in a long time, we didn't even exchange messages. I left them behind when I decided to move on to Italy. They were buried with my past in Monaco.
The bell on the entrance door rings, indicating that someone has entered the premises. My head quickly snaps toward the sound.
And it's like in one minute, everything I struggled so hard to forget and leave behind comes back with force and without control like waves of a tsunami.
Standing just a few meters away from where I'm sitting, my gaze meets Charles'.
Charles. My ex-boyfriend whom I haven't seen in almost four years. The part that hurts the most from my past, besides the death of Jules.
He looks different. So different from the last time I saw him at Jules' funeral. This time he's not dressed in mourning black, no. He's wearing casual clothes, dark jeans, and a moss green sweater with the word "FERRARI" stamped in black. There's a scruffy beard on his face and his eyes...damn. The eyes that last time reflected so much hopelessness were now more alive, but still with certain traces of concern.
Charles walks up to where I'm sitting, his steps quick and wide as if he wanted to corner me before I could escape again. He stops half a meter away, and his gaze curiously roams over me. His expression is stern but also covered in doubt. I bet that, like me, he wants to understand why I'm here.
"Charles..." I'm the first to say, my voice low and uncertain. He nods slowly, his gaze still fixed on me, as if he wants to uncover all the secrets I gained during the years we were apart.
“What are you doing here, Marie?" he asks, direct and determined, without any hesitation. It's a tone I would have never expected to hear from the Charles I left four years ago. Yes, he really has changed.
I wished I could answer him with the same intensity, but honestly, I don't think I could. There's so much going on here and my head is spinning with so many questions and emotions. Why is Charles here? What the hell is going on? Did he set all this up?
"Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, I swear to God it's not funny," he says, his tone now rough.
I sit there staring at him, completely confused.
Charles runs his hand through his hair, messing up his brown locks even more. He sighs heavily and closes his eyes, his tongue quickly passing over his lower lip. He used to do that all the time when he felt anger or frustration. At least that hasn't changed.
"What are you doing here, Charles?" I ask, and he opens his eyes, once again staring at me.
Charles's hand reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope identical to the one that was left for me in the office in Italy. The difference is that I can see that this one was addressed to Charles, only his name, and also without a sender.
"Please tell me it wasn't you, Marie," he says as his eyes shift from the envelope to my face. I look at him with all the sincerity I can muster and answer, "No, it wasn't me." He nods his head, his expression softening a bit. He moves and sits in the vacant chair in front of me, his hands going up to his face to rub it.
"Jules has a son," he says.
"I know," I reply.
"Charles lowers his hands and stares at me once again, confusion etched on his face. Before he can say anything, I reach into my bag on the table, open it, and take out the white envelope. Charles looks at my hand for a moment before reaching over the table to take the envelope from me."
"You got one too," he says, not looking at me, even though it's not a question,  I nod my head in agreement.
"It seems she arranged to meet with both of us. I think it's easier if we hear the story at the same time, that way there's no risk of getting the wrong versions," I say, and his gaze shifts from the envelopes on the table to me.
"Do you think it's a lie? That the boy isn't Jules's son?" he asks seriously, and I just shrug in response.
"I believe it could be Jules's son. I just don't know why she waited all this time and why she chose us. Obviously, we're not the best people to show Vincenzo that he has a family on his father's side," I say, and I see Charles's jaw tighten.
"We were friends with Jules. He trusted us," he says, once again his voice sounding rough.
"It seems he didn't trust us enough to tell us he fell in love," I say, and immediately regret it.
I look at Charles and if we were part of a cartoon, he would have flames in his eyes.
“You don't know what happened. You don't know his reasons, just like me,” he says through gritted teeth. “Don't doubt his motives. Not when he's not here to defend himself.”
In all the years I've spent by Charles' side, I've never seen him so angry. And if I didn't know him, I'd be scared.
But do you still know him? I silently ask myself.
"That's not what I meant," I defensively reply. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Of course, Jules had reasons and we'll find out when Cecilia arrives." Charles relaxes his jaw and adjusts in his seat.
I look at the clock on the wall again. 4:10 PM. She's late. I look at Charles, a little anxious.
"Do you think she's coming?" he shrugs, but his hand goes into his hoodie pocket and pulls out a cell phone. 
"She's late," he states what I already know. "But I think so, she's coming." Charles carelessly tosses the phone onto the table, his anxious fingers fidgeting with his rings.
"Congratulations on the runner-up, by the way," I say, trying to ease both of our anxieties, and he looks back at me.
"Did you follow the races?" he asked, a little surprised.
"Yes," I admit, somewhat embarrassed. "My secretary is a huge Formula 1 fan," I add, which is not a lie. 
Like all Italians, Marcella is a devoted Tifosi. And even though I wanted to leave everything I knew behind, I couldn't escape one of the most beloved sports in Europe, especially in Italy, the home of Ferrari.
Charles lets out a low laugh, his look adopting the expression of a mischievous boy. Oh no.
"Your secretary, huh?" he says with a teasing and suggestive tone.
"Ah, shut up, Leclerc!" I say, trying to sound serious but failing when I let out a laugh. "I'm serious! My secretary is a diehard Tifosi. She can't shut up for a minute about Ferrari and makes me watch all the races," I say, shrugging.
"Yeah, yeah... And I bet I'm your 'secretary's' favorite driver, right?" he says, making air quotes with his fingers and having a smug smile on his face.
"Actually, she prefers Sainz," I say, and instantly his smile turns into a serious expression, which makes me laugh.
Soon, Charles' dimples appear on his cheek and my heart skips a beat at the sound of his typically somewhat flawed and exaggerated laugh. Oh, how I enjoyed hearing that horrible but at the same time very cute laugh again.
At that moment, even though I hated to admit it, I realized how much I missed that feeling of familiarity and lightness. And even though just a few minutes ago, I was doubting whether I still knew the person that Charles had become, I could see that regardless of the years and tragedies that life had subjected him to from a young age, that kind and playful boy that I had once fallen in love with was still there. And maybe he would never leave. And I liked that.
Looking at Charles smiling, sitting in front of me, I wonder for just a second if it would have been different if I hadn't left. But as soon as the thought came, I pushed it away. Because even though I was happy to know that Charles still had something familiar to me inside him, we were not meant to be even before Jules' death. And I doubt that we could have maintained a good relationship with all the pain and mourning that surrounded us. I made a good choice. Yes, I did the right thing.
Leaving Monaco was one of the hardest things I had to face. But it made me grow and become a strong woman. I learned to deal with loss, even if it may not be the healthiest way, it still worked for me. I was able to finish college, got the job I wanted, and met new people. I fell in love, and even though I didn't love them like I loved Charles, I still allowed myself to feel and try happiness. Clearly, it didn't work out, but the experience was worth it.
And I can also say that Charles has achieved what he wanted, or almost everything. He is one of the best Formula 1 drivers and drives for Ferrari, which is almost every motorsport athlete's dream. He has a successful career and is known worldwide for it. And even though he didn't get the title he so desperately craved last year, he may get it this year. He is focused, grateful, and kind. The golden boy. Il Predestinato.
Even though Charles is so young, he has given his family and friends everything they ever dreamed of. Pascale must be so proud of him, and if Harvé were still alive, I'm sure he would also be proud of the son he raised. And Jules would also be proud to see Charles' progress.
And then the emptiness appears again. Jules. I try my best not to think about him. The memories are still painful even after all these years.
I think I let my thoughts reflect too much because Charles, who was laughing before, now looks at me with a compassionate expression. He probably thought of Jules too.
"I miss him too," he says and I nod my head. "And I missed you too," his hand meets mine on the table.
There were no ulterior motives. Just a gesture. A gesture to affirm what he was saying. And it hurt. It hurt in my heart and soul.
I quickly withdraw my hand from his and stare at the table. Charles withdraws his hands and keeps them close to his body.
"I know you didn't owe me anything, Marie. No explanations, not loyalty," he starts, his voice a little broken, making my heart tighten. "But Jules died and you left. Why did you leave?" he asks, and I can hear the hurt in his voice.
I wished I had the strength to lift my gaze and tell him while looking him in the eyes that everything I did was out of fear and thinking that there was nothing left for me in Monaco. That I still loved him even after he broke up with me and that losing Jules to death destroyed me, but knowing that I would lose Charles while he was still alive would only ruin me even more. I couldn't see him every day and know that he no longer belonged to me. And that every minute I spent mourning and heartbroken without him reminded me that love was impossible for me. That I didn't deserve to be loved. That there would never be anyone to love me.
"I had to go," I say, still staring at my hands. "I don't expect you to understand or forgive me. Because I'm not asking for any of that, Charles," my voice sounds firm but my eyes burn.
I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before releasing it. I raise my gaze to meet his when I'm sure the tears won't fall.
"I had to make a choice and I did. I chose myself," I say simply, perhaps trying to convince myself.
Charles nods his head and goes back to fiddling with the rings on his fingers. This time it was difficult for him to look at me.
"I'm happy to see who you've become, Marie. And I hope you've achieved what you wanted when..." he pauses for a second, unsure of what to say, "when you left Monaco." A tired laugh escapes his lips. "I'm not going to judge you, especially since when you left, we were no longer a couple. But I was an idiot to think that we were still friends." He looks back at me. "I was foolish until I realized that there would be no possibility for us without Jules being here."
I wanted to scream. I wanted to stand up and throw everything in front of me at him. I wanted to curse at him and tell him that he didn't have that right. But to be fair, I could never do that. Not when I left, when it was me who left what was left of the three of us. Jules had died and I had fled. When I left, I didn't think of Charles or his feelings. I only thought of myself and how I could never live with that.
I don't regret it. I did what I thought was necessary and would do it again. Charles might have needed me, but I needed to leave and heal. And that's what I did. Charles still had friends and family to rely on, and I had no one. No present family, no friends, and no boyfriend. Charles and I both mourned, of course, but we mourned in different ways. He had lost a friend, and I had lost everything.
There was no one to come home to and hug. There was no one there to tell me that they were sorry for my loss and that everything would be okay. So I went after what I thought I needed and I got it. I went in search of myself, a new life, new choices, and opportunities, and I found them. I found myself. Of course, I let go of a lot, and the void left by Jules and Charles was never filled, but I learned to cope and use it to my advantage for other things, and that was enough, at least for now.
Before I could respond to him, I'm interrupted once again by the sound of the damn doorbell.
Charles and I turned our attention to the door at the same time. Both of us were staring at a slim blonde woman, wearing a green coat and leggings. But what caught our attention the most was the little boy in her arms. He was about 3 or 4 years old, with dark hair, lying with his face hidden in the woman's neck, and his small hand clutching onto her collar as if he were afraid she would leave if he let go.
Charles and I stood up in rehearsed gestures, all at the same time. He stopped beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder, covered by my own coat this time. The woman looked at us and came slowly towards us. When she got closer and stopped about a meter away from us, I could analyze her.
Her face was thin and perfectly symmetrical, and even though it seemed like she hadn't slept in days, her tired eyes were a beautiful shade of greenish-brown. She is very beautiful. Her lips opened in a small smile, and there I could see that she easily fit Jules' type.
"I assume you are Charles and Marie, right?" She says, her voice sweet and tired.
My gaze moves from her to the little boy in her arms, and then they cross with Charles'. He tells me through his eyes the same things I am thinking. We return our attention to the blonde in front of us and nod.
"Great!" She clears her throat before continuing, "I'm Cecilia, and this little guy here is Vincenzo." She gently shakes the child, who tightens his grip on her coat collar even more. "Jules' son."
Charles' grip on my shoulder becomes stronger, and I swallow hard. I can't take my eyes off the little boy, and now up close, I can see his profile. His chubby childlike cheek and long eyelashes, just like Jules'.
Cecilia shifts uncomfortably, her feet shifting the weight from one to the other, and she adjusts Vincenzo's position in her lap.
"I know you must have thousands of questions, and I promise I will answer them all. But before that, would you mind if I sit down? Vincenzo is a bit heavy, and I walked here with him in my arms," she says, embarrassed.
"Of course not. Please," Charles approaches her and pulls the chair he was sitting in a few minutes ago. Cecilia sits down, careful not to make any sudden movements and wake Vincenzo.
Charles points to the empty chair, and I sit down. He takes a few steps hto the table next to us and takes an unoccupied chair to sit on. Once the three of us are seated around the table, Charles calls the waitress, whom I only now notice has been staring at us this whole time. The redheaded and smiling girl, who probably can't be more than 19 years old, approaches with her gaze fixed on Charles- she probably recognized him.
Charles is the one who orders. A cappuccino for me- which causes a sensation in my stomach that he still remembers- an iced tea for himself, and he asks Cecilia what she would like to drink, to which she responds that coffee would be enough. The redhead writes down the orders and asks for permission to leave. Her eyes still glued to Charles.
I roll my eyes internally, but I know I can't blame her. After all, it's probably not every day that she serves a public figure. When we used to come here with Jules, the employees were different, and the small café is located on a somewhat isolated street in Nice, so it's unlikely that many famous people come here.
I take my gaze off the waitress and turn back to Cecilia, who was already looking at me attentively with a small smile on her lips.
"Well..." Charles begins. "Why are we here, Cecilia? Why only now have you contacted us?" He leans forward a little more, his arms resting on the wooden table.
Cecilia shifts in her chair carefully and her eyes briefly glance at Vincenzo before turning back to us.
"I wanted you to meet Vincenzo. While he was alive, Jules always mentioned you as part of his family. He loved you both very much," she says, and I feel my chest tightening.
"But why only now?" I speak for the first time. "I know you wrote in the letter that you were afraid, but it still sounds strange that you would come looking for us now, without any reason," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
Cecilia falls silent for a few seconds as if she wants to formulate the next words carefully.
"There's a reason," she confirms. "Look, I know it's strange, and I assure you that I'm not looking for any money or anything like that." Her gaze shifts from me to Charles, as if she wants to confirm the latter part specifically for him. "Jules and I met about six months before he died, and it was love at first sight."
"He never told us about you," Charles responds cutting her off and she nods. 
"I know he didn't. I asked him not to," she says and Charles and I exchange confused looks before turning our attention back to her.
"What do you mean? Why would you ask him not to?" I ask, finding it all very odd.
"When I met Jules, I was in a complicated time in my life," she answers and I see her face darken. "I was only 19 and had run away from Italy." Her voice trembles as if it's hard for her to mention those times again.
I wish I could tell her that she didn't need to tell us if she wasn't feeling comfortable, but the truth was that it was really necessary. After all, that's what Charles and I are here for.
Charles nodded for her to continue and I could feel his tension.
"I got involved with the wrong people in Italy," she continues. "There was a boy I had been in love with during my teenage years, Paolo was his name. We were very young and stupid, you know?" Cecília laughs and her eyes fill with tears. "Like every teenager, we thought we were invincible, but we weren't. When I was 17, I spent most of my time at parties and clubs with him. We drank and did drugs, and everything was fun and happy until it wasn't anymore. Over time, the drinking and drugs stopped being just for parties and began to become necessary for anything. From being able to concentrate on studies, to being able to get out of bed. My parents assumed that Paolo was to blame for my addiction and banned me from seeing him. I obviously went against them and they made me choose between a life with them or my ruin with Paolo. I, being young and foolish, chose love and abandoned my parents without looking back. I left the life I had to chase adventures with Paolo and he did the same, running away from home. But the thing is, we were two addicted people without a home and money. There was no more money from our parents, so we started doing whatever we could. Small thefts and even..." She stops for a moment, thick tears streaming down her face.
"Here." Charles extends a napkin and she takes it, wiping her face immediately after.
"Thank you," she says and he offers her a half-smile. "Even prostitution," she continues, and I feel my stomach churn. It wasn't disgust, but rather a pity for imagining someone in that situation. Beside me, I could see that Charles was equally uncomfortable. It was hard for him to put himself in her place.
Charles grew up with great parents who did everything for their children, and even though they weren't millionaires at the time, they still managed to have and offer a comfortable life for them. And I bet that if any of the three, Charles, Lorenzo, or Arthur, had gone the wrong way, Pascale would never have abandoned them.
And me, well, I was lucky. I spent my teenage years with Jules and Charles, who had a structured enough family to share with me because my parents were absent.
Obviously, Charles and I had our rebellious phase with occasional drinking and smoking weed. But Jules, being almost ten years older than us, always kept us in line like a good older brother. And if he knew that we had crossed the line at parties or anywhere else, oh God! He would freak out.
- "Cecilia, I know it's difficult for you to say this, but I think it's important for Charles and me to understand," I say and she nods.
Cecília takes two deep breaths before continuing, and that's when I'm sure the story would only get worse. I try to prepare myself to hear what she had to say.
"I prostituted myself a few times without Paolo's knowledge. Some traffickers gave me drugs in exchange for sex and since many times I had no other choice, I accepted. But one day he found out and that ended us. With us." Tears returned to stream down her face. "Paolo went crazy when he found out and went after the trafficker I had slept with. He got a gun and killed the guy. We were on the run for a few weeks, but it was too hard for two homeless addicts to hide in Italy. Soon they found us and..." She closes her eyes and sobs.
I stretch my hand across the table and take Cecilia's hand. There was a lot of pain there and part of me wanted to curl up and stop listening, but I couldn't. I glance at Charles and he meets my gaze, his eyes reflecting distress at hearing everything that came out of her mouth. It was too surreal for him to hear all of that.
"They killed Paolo and thought they had killed me too. But by some miracle, I managed to survive and ask for help at a church. The priest there was friends with my parents and managed to find a family in Nice who were willing to help me. So I came to France, went through rehabilitation, and started attending meetings for drug addicts." Her eyes become distant again, and I continue holding her hand. "It was on the way back from one of those meetings that I met Jules, and that's where I understood the reason why I survived. We fell in love, but he had a public life and I couldn't expose myself because I was afraid that they would come after me. I told Jules what had happened and unlike what I thought he would do, he embraced me. He promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone, not even you two until I was ready and safe. And he did that. He kept us a secret for months. We saw each other every time he came back to Nice, after the races." She finishes.
Charles and I watched as Cecilia tried to calm her breathing, her grip on the sleeping Vincenzo's body tightening as if afraid he might disappear from her arms at any moment.
It breaks my heart to see all her pain and gives me a completely different perspective from when I walked in here today. She loved Vincenzo, and that was clear, just as she had loved Jules. And that's the part that hurts me the most.
Knowing that the reason Jules never mentioned her to us, his friends and family, was sole to protect her, made my heart heavy and warm at the same time. That was so Jules.
I remember months before he died, he started to spend more time in his hometown and whenever we asked him about it, he said he wanted to spend a little more time with his family. We even found it a little strange, but Jules always had a great relationship with his parents and closest relatives, which made us simply let it go and just enjoy the time we spent together before he and Charles had to go back to racing.
"I'm sorry for all of this, really, Cecilia," Charles is the first to say after she seems calmer. "But we still need to know why you're only coming to us now," he says, and I agree.
Cecilia nods and looks at Vincenzo in her arms. The tension emanating from her makes me shiver, and Charles probably noticed it too as his hand finds my thigh under the table.
"About two days before Jules' death, I found out I was pregnant with Vincenzo," she says and I nod in understanding. "Jules was racing in Shanghai and I was scared and alone here." The tears that had ceased returned in stronger waves.
My mind teleports back to 2019, to Jules' last race. He was so happy to finish seventh that day. But, all of a sudden, he just wanted to go home and rest, not even celebrating with the boys on the grid.
"I sent him a message after the race. I said I needed him to come to Nice as soon as possible because something had happened," Cecilia looks at Charles as she speaks. "Then he sent me a message saying he would take the first available flight back to France."
As Cecilia talks, Charles' grip on my thigh gets stronger. I look at him from the corner of my eye and I can see the moment his Adam's apple goes up and down.
"So that's why he left so quickly that day," Charles' voice sounds low. "He left before I could talk to him..." His eyes fill with tears and his breathing becomes a bit unstable. Cecilia just nods and closes her eyes tightly before continuing.
"When Jules arrived in Nice, it was already early morning and it was raining heavily. He tried to get a taxi or Uber, but couldn't get either," this time I feel my breathing falter a bit as she continues. "He managed to rent a car from a nearby 24-hour agency and sent me a message saying he would arrive soon and that I didn't need to worry because no matter what was happening, everything would be okay and that he loved me."
Charles stood up abruptly. His face adopted a look of disbelief.
"It was you..." his voice was weak and accusatory. "It was because of you that he... My God!" He flinches and his hands pass through his face and his hair.
"Charles..." I try to calm him down, even though I am also anxious. "Charles, please sit down and try to calm down." I try to grab his hand, but he recoils in a sudden movement.
"Calm down? It's her, Marie!" he says, pointing to Cecilia who only shrinks into her chair and holds Vincenzo even tighter, as he moves uncomfortably in her lap. "She killed him! IT'S HER FAULT THAT JULES DIED!" he screams.
My breathing becomes difficult and my heart races. In front of me, Cecilia sobs and holds Vincenzo even closer to her body.
All that commotion made some employees start to appear and approach at a safe distance from the table.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Cecilia pleads. "I swear I never wanted this to happen, I was so scared and..." She stops when she hears Vincenzo's low cry.
Charles' attention goes to the little boy as he realizes he is now awake. He shakes his head in a negative motion and leaves the café in a hurry, slamming the door hard behind him. We are startled by the noise and the little boy cries even louder. I quickly get up to go after Charles, but before I do, I turn to Cecilia.
"Please wait here, okay? I'll try to calm him down. Don't leave," I say, and she nods, her face stained with tears that continued to fall, and her breathing accelerated as she rocked Vincenzo, trying to calm him down.
A dark-haired waitress approaches with a glass of water in her hands and places it in front of Cecilia. I thank her with a gesture and quickly leave through the door to find Charles.
It doesn't take me long to find him, he was in front of a black car. His body leaned against the driver's side. Even from a distance, I can see his body shaking and hear the sound of his erratic breathing. I approach him slowly, so as not to startle him.
When I get close enough, I think about touching him, but the thought leaves my mind when I realize it's not a good idea.
"Charles..." I call him softly to get his attention. "I'm sorry, but we need to go back there. She-"
"No!" he exclaims. "Please, Marie! Don't ask me to go back there. She killed him! It was her fault!" He stares at me with red and swollen eyes.
My heart tightens at the sight of him like this. I find myself being sent back to the year of Jules' death, specifically to the day of his funeral.
I wanted to hug Charles and tell him that everything would be okay, but in reality, I didn't know if it would. Jules had died almost four years ago, and yet it still hurt every time his name was mentioned. And hearing today from a stranger the reasons that resulted in his death was not easy. But there was a reason why Cecilia wanted to contact us after all this time, and we needed to know.
I take a deep breath and decide to approach Charles more. One of us had to try to be rational at this moment, and if it had to be me, okay. I wasn't going to go back to Italy without an answer.
"Charles, I understand that it's difficult to hear all of this suddenly," my hands go to his face. "I know it hurts, Charles. I'm feeling it too." He closes his eyes and I feel tears rolling down my face. "But we can't blame her entirely, Charles. She was scared and just wanted to talk to him.”
“And it resulted in his death." He says, his eyes opening and meeting mine. "Marie, if she hadn't done what she did, he would be here now. He would be alive and he would have met..." His voice trails off. "He would have met his son." He cries and I pull him into a hug.
Jules died without knowing his son. Jules died without knowing that he would have a son. Jules died in the dark without knowing what was happening to Cecilia. Jules died alone and worried, and nothing we can do will bring him back. He died. It's over. But Charles and I are still here.
"Jules died without knowing his son, but we're still here and we can do this for him," I say and he squeezes me tighter.
 "We're still here, Charles. And we can do this." He breaks the hug and looks at me with a face full of sorrow. I nod. 
"We need to go in there together. Together," he looks down at his feet. "Charles, I need you to go in there with me because I can't do this alone." His eyes come back to me and he understands that I used the same words he did a few years ago. "Please, Charles. I don't want to do this alone. I can't." He nods and I take his hand and slowly lead him back to the cafe.
When we walk through the door, my eyes meet Cecilia's. I nod my head to let her know it's okay, and she nods in understanding. I look at Charles who stares at her expressionlessly. His gaze is icy, totally different from the one I once knew.
Still holding Charles' hand, I walk toward the table where she uncomfortably waits for us. I notice that Vincenzo is no longer in her lap and feel momentary concern that quickly passes when I see him playing with the same red-haired waitress who had served us.
We sit in our chairs and I see that our orders are placed on the table. I feel my stomach churn just looking at the cappuccino in front of me. I take glance around and notice the employees trying to avoid looking at us. I make a mental note to "solve" this problem so it doesn't follow us when we leave.
"Just say what you want," Charles breaks the silence, his eyes still staring at Cecilia who nods and swallows hard.
"I understand your anger, and I know I have no right to ask for what I'm about to ask," she says and my hearing sharpens. "I live with guilt for years. Whether it's for Paolo or Jules, guilt and remorse follow me wherever I go. No matter what I try to do, they're always there." She looks at her hands. "Last year, I relapsed. I used heroin, once, but I used it. After years of resisting and not even going near drugs, I let my messed-up mind fall into the hole and I shot up." She lets out a desperate laugh and her eyes fill with water.
My body freezes and Charles makes a sound of scorn beside me. When he opens his mouth to say something, Cecilia cuts him off.
"Yes, I know I'm a whore, and I deserve the worst shit life has in store for me. But that's the thing. I deserve the bad things, but my son doesn't," she says firmly, looking at us seriously. "I need Vincenzo to have a good and decent life. I need to make sure he grows up loved and that he never lacks anything." She looks away for a moment to the table where Vincenzo was happily playing with the waitress and then back to us.
Cecilia takes a deep breath and leans forward. I could swear she was capable of asking for anything at that moment. Money, a house in a distant place, a period in rehab, anything.
"I can't take care of Vincenzo anymore," she asserts, her tone exuding bitterness. "I promised Jules that I would do everything to make him different from me. And that's why I came to you after all these years."
My head spins. She's asking for...? No, it's not possible.
"What do you mean by that?" Charles asks anxiously.
"Cecilia wipes the tears from her face with her hand, blinks a few times, and adopts a determined look, a look that I knew well. The same look I gave to myself in the mirror when I decided to leave Monaco. Suddenly, I feel afraid because my suspicions are confirmed.
"She wants us to take care of Vincenzo," I say.
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lutzlig · 1 year
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Tumblrwoman Election Wrap-Up
To celebrate the end of this election, I'm gonna answer the rest of your questions!
First off:
Thanks everyone for participating! This ended up way bigger than expected. It was pretty exciting, seeing everybody chime in and participate.
Shoutout ESPECIALLY to all the people making fanarts, memes, etc... you people are incredible!!! Most of it can be found under #twe23, be sure to check it out, everybody!
Here's some highlights you people have made:
this github live number tracker made by @twilight-sparkle-irl during the vriska/katya poll. A THRILLING read!
this hollow knight miku oc by @anonymous-utility!! shes so cute...
@seasoned-cabbage made a wiki sandbox for the polls... it's so satisfying to see the stats laid out like this : D
@unidentifiedfroggy wrote fanfiction that just perfectly encapsulates the whole experience : ' )
General Q&A
"Who did you want to win?"
I myself think Vriska deserved the title most! I think vriska is just as integral to tumblr as Cecil is, if not more.
As for the other 2 involved, they didn't really care who won!
How often did you hear "Why are you pitting 2 bad bitches against each other"?
Often! One of us was going to count, but he got so annoyed that he stopped. You people need to get a new sentence.
"Why are there minors in a tumblrsexywoman contest?"
It's not a tumblr sexywoman contest, it's a tumblrwoman election! Before we made the poll, we considered whether it's better to throw out the minors or remove the "sexy" angle. We decided on the latter, mostly because this kind of competition would feel incomplete without tumblrgirls like miku and vriska.
Will you be doing this again next year?
Hm, not sure. Probably not! At least, I wasn't planning on it. We did this on a whim, and this is (SUPPOSED TO BE) my art blog.
I might make a blog for it next year, if these are still relevant and the demand is high (which i highly doubt).
Why didn't you answer my question?
I got like 130 asks this week and most of them were cries of pain and outrage. I was also incredibly busy irl until a day ago. If I didn't answer your question, Sorry!
Concerns about Corruption
According to the tags on these, every single one of the polls was rigged in some way or another. Particularly grievous examples of this were Miku's loss (I suspect Vriskavoters doing foul play (I am vriskavoters. I voted Bayonetta to sabotage Miku. Then i spent the whole day listening to Miku voicebank comparisons.)), and Marcie's win (Somebody accused the Adventure time subreddit of having swamped the poll. The post in question had 19 upvotes. The poll on tumblr had 92,123 votes).
What's more, I've been offered bribes!! Several american dollars! The political landscape of tumblr sure is a scary place...
Manners
Some of you really don't know how to act. This goes out to a small (but very, very vocal) minority - don't be a dick! Just because it's the internet does not mean you can just insult random strangers! This is a poll about fictional women, this is NOT a place to call people the r-word or imply someone is stupid for liking a character.
Some people left pretty graphic, violent messages. Most of these were jokes, but still. Take caution with the words you choose. This should go without saying, but telling strangers to "eat glass" and the like is not acceptable behaviour.
In the end, this was a competition between fictional characters, so seeing people arguing in the replies and trying to gain some sort of moral high ground was a little bit saddening.
Most of you were nice though, luckily : )
Thanks
To everyone who left kind messages, to everyone engaging and having fun, the fan art, the posts, to everyone expressing their thanks to us - thank you!!!
In the end, this was a lot of fun, and it was nice to see the website come together like that!
What's next?
For the next few days, I'm going to be promoting my friends' projects as much as I can to scare all of you people off of my blog.
I got WAY too many followers from this and frankly, that is simply not acceptable. You all need to leave NOW, because I want to get back to posting art eventually and I would rather not be on everybody's timeline.
That's why I have decided to become a massive sell out and reblog my friends' stuff on main for a bit. Peace!
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pohyuck · 1 year
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Tumblr media
lee donghyuck x reader
☆ fluff, tiny bit of angst, jealousy, cheating, kissing, heavy cursing, childhood friends to lovers, 4.3k wc
not proofread
☆★☆
haechan was playing with his friends when he heard a girl cry loudly, turning his head he saw two boys making fun of the little girl.
despite him being smaller than the two, he didn't think twice about hiding you behind him and yelling at the other two to leave you alone.
you two have been unseperable ever since, and he promised never to let anyone hurt you again.
who would have thought that in the end, he would be the cause to your heartache?
although the grownups in your life constantly encourage you to enjoy your youth since you won't get the chance to do it again, there are some aspects of it that are unpleasant. the continual change in your body, the pressure from those around you, and the abandonment of friends.
its pathetic how you still care about the guy that left you without saying anything.
you and haechan have some sort of friday night ritual where he comes over to watch a movie marathon with you. but tonight, for some reason, he wasn't there. even though you weren't very concerned by it, you still felt compelled to ask him about it.
weird. you thought. no reply.
you just shrugged it off, figuring that he was either asleep or had an urgent task to complete. but once it had been three days and he hadn't replied or read your texts, you began to worry.
you just decided to ask him about it at school. however, he was acting even stranger at school. his responses seemed reserved, and eventually, he simply ignored you.
you tried to reach out to him often, but each time he gave you an excuse to be left alone. you just stopped communicating with him after you grew tired of his attitude.
it left you hurt and confused. the night you finally accepted that you had lost your bestfriend, you buried yourself in your tears.
you're really grateful to your friends for helping you get over what happened and you don't know what you would have done without them.
"tonight's the night you finally get out there! there are a lot more better, hotter men out there than that idiot, redacted" your friend, youngsi exclaims
"i just got here how are you drunk already" you ask as you try to hold her stable
"well i arrived here 2 hours ago so i don't think you expected me to hold myself back for you. i would die for you, but you know it's alcohol over you. only the truth" she says and you scrunch your nose at the smell of alcohol in her breath.
"and i'm not drunk! just tipsy! now let's find you a man. but first, a drink of course." she grins as she pulls you deeper into the crowd.
she hands you your drink and asks, "so, have you seen anyone interesting yet?" she raises her eyebrows at you
renjun approaches you and wrapped you both in a hug "good evening ladies" he greeted with a smile "what's up"
"hey rj, we're on a mission to find y/n's new man tonight" youngsi grins and renjun just chuckles. "well, goodluck with that i'm gonna go play some beer pong. you guys wanna join?" youngsi already stood up ready to follow him, he looks at you "i'm good. i just want to sit down for now. you guys have fun though." he smiles at you and youngsi hugged you before walking away
not too long after your friends had left you, a guy sat down beside you, you didn't acknowledge him until he spoke
"hey, you're y/n right?" he asks in a quiet tone "oh hi, yes i am, i'm sorry but may i ask for your name?," you reply "i'm han sungho, we study at the same university but a seperate campus, i see you a lot on the bulettin board. you're really pretty"
you both blushed "thanks. what's your course?" "fine arts" he smiles shyly
"oh! that is so cool you know fine arts was actually my second choice," the both of you talked the whole night, enjoying each other's company
after exchanging numbers, you two got closer and eventually started dating.
they were both rushing late, and jeno, haechan's roommate, roared into his ear, "DONGHYUCK GET THE FUCK UP." haechan grumbled and griped, asking why he would even bother to wake him up.
"i would feel too guilty leaving without you." "please adjust for me once and go get washed up" he begs. "five more minutes" haechan groans. "screw that, just change. NOW. or i'm really going to go without you"
he hurried to get ready as soon as he could, feeling quite awful for making his friend run late.
"hey, what's with the long face?" jaemin greets them with a smile. "fucking exhausted" haechan groans. "wouldn't have happened if you actually rested and not play video games the whole night" jeno nags.
"why rest when you can just play video games right?" jeno rolled his eyes at this and haechan just shrugged.
as soon as your breaks matched, sungho and you made the decision to have lunch together. given that his room is close to the cafeteria, you decided to pick him up.
haechan passed by you as you stood outside the room waiting for your partner, but you didn't appear to notice. he continued to turn to face you until he caught you with sungho. he winced at this and turned aside, oblivious to his own thoughts.
your professor was pairing you up for a group assignment the following day, and when your heard the name he called with yours, your hands started to sweat
"hi y/n! it's been too long since we last talked, how are you?" jaemin sits next to you. you were pretty close to haechan's friends, but since he ghosted you, all of your interactions have ended.
"hey jaemin, i've been alright" you reply in a low tone, not quite ready to be talking with someone that is within haechan's circle
"that's nice to hear. well, i'm looking forward to working with you, friend" he says while shaking your hand. you smiled and nod at him
"i still cant believe that out of the 50% chance i would get partnered up with a haechanette, i actually get partnered up with a haechanette" you gripe
youngsi shakes her head at this "guess universe isn't on your side for today. but maybe it's a sign?" she says while tilting her head
"why would it be a sign? for what?"
"duh! for you know, you and haechan.. actually no i don't want that it's nothing it's just a class project! atleast it isn't him you were partnered up with" you agree with this. "and it would be strange since youre not in the same class so.. whatever just goodluck, girl"
you both agreed that it would be best to do the project at jaemin's dorm since it was closer to the campus than yours and you still had a class in two hours.
you can't help but worry about running into haechan though.
"don't worry he won't be home until 5, you know i won't put you in such a situation y/n" jaemin assures you. having some of your tension eased, you can now breathe more easily.
as you were on your way to class, and as the elevator doors open, the man inside was haechan, luckily, you didn't react at all and just went inside, he hopped out and left. you didn't realize you were holding your breath until you were alone
"holy shit" haechan says while walking to his dorm, he got inside looking pale and wide-eyed "what the hell happened to you?" jaemin questions. haechan didn't reply to him and just went into his room
the whole time you were in class, all you could think about was the situation at the dorm, you were lucky enough that you didn't meet in their dorm room but not lucky enough to just not run into him at all. you sigh deeply
you've been coming over to jaemin's dorm for a while now, and fortunately, you haven't seen haechan yet since the time you met at the elevator so you we're feeling ease.
and since the universe isn't always on your side, as you were putting your shoes on, ready to leave, someone opens the front door, and that someone just happens to be the person you've been avoiding
he gave you a quick glance before entering his room. jaemin had an embarrassed expression on his face when you turned to face him he mouthed sorry to you, and you just shook your head
when you told your friends about what happened, their jaws were on the floor
"i cannot believe that just happened" renjun finally spoke and youngsi was just looking at you with her mouth widely open. renjun closed her mouth and said, "so what did he do he just looked at you and go?" you nod, "well yeah, what is there to talk about anyway? i'm actually glad he didn't speak to me" youngsi grumbles. she was already enraged with haechan since you had formerly spent more time with him, but after he hurt you, she has absolutely abhorred him.
"that's nice then, you won't have to worry about talking to him even if he's at the dorm. you'll get the project done sooner and you wouldn't have to worry about meeting him at all! yay!" she celebrates. you and renjun only looked at each other, both unsure of the situation
"why was y/n here? jaemin i know you're a playboy and all but you should know enough not to fuck with her" haechan says, annoyed
"i would never try to get with someone who's taken. she only came over so we could do our project for mr. kim's class. and unlike you, i try not to hurt my friends" jaemin rolls his eyes at haechan and walked away
haechan only sighs and sat by himself.
jeno was clueless about what happened so he was confused why his friends were quiet "okay, can someone tell me what the fuck happened?" jaemin grumbles and haechan looked away "alright, you two go get dressed up we are going to hang out today, make up, and be best friends forever, how about that?" jeno says with hope of his friends agreeing
"how about we just stay home?" haechan remarks "how about i just rip your playstation to pieces?" jeno threatens "you wouldn't" "yes i would, i'm not the one who pays it" they squint their eye at each other "fine"
haechan noticed you and sungho together as they were strolling around the mall; he wishes he were the one holding your hand and making you laugh, but he doesn't deserve it after what he had done to you.
"so, where do you kids want to go?" jeno puts his arms around jaemin and haechan's shoulders "home" jaemin says. jeno flicks his forehead
"i want ice cream" haechan says as he saw you and sungho walk in the ice cream shop. "let's go get some ice cream then"
he searched the room for you when he entered and when he did, he spotted you giving your partner ice cream and taking pictures of him. he felt so envious
"yo, what do you want to order" jeno taps his shoulder
as they were having their ice cream he was only looking at you, when jeno saw what haechan was doing, he slammed his head and said, "you had me pay ten bucks for you to stare at a girl?!" jaemin glances in the same general direction that haechan was looking and sighs.
as soon as you finished your dessert, you hastily left since you were conscious of someone staring at you and it made you feel uncomfortable.
"you okay, love?" sungho asks you as he was worried "yeah i'm fine i just have to go to the bathroom real quick" sungho nods at you
"i can't believe were almost done! thank you oh my gosh" you sigh happily and jaemin just smiles
"ugh this month has been so tiring, i'm just glad i got partnered up with someone i know" you agree with this
haechan left his room and announced that he was going to the store to buy some things "i'll be back soon please don't lock the door i broke my keys. or at least open it for me later." jaemin gives him a thumbs up and returns to working with you
on his way to the store, haechan noticed a couple acting affectionately on the sidewalk. he was going to cringe until he realized who the man was.
"that shameless fucker" haechan mutters, contemplating whether to confront sungho or simply tell you what he saw. he assumes that it would be best to do so when he returns, but by that time, you had already left.
he decides he would just tell you the next time you come over
he felt so awful and guilty every time you passed him with sungho and you looking so happy. he wanted to interrupt you both so he could tell you what the man has been doing to behind your back.
haechan asked jaemin if he could have some time alone with you "please. just 10 minutes" he pleads. jaemin sighs and lets him "i swear if you make her uncomf-" haechan cuts him off "i won't!"
haechan opening the door for you caught you off guard. you simply walked his path without saying a word. he gave you a glass of water and you thank him softly
"so where's jaemin?" "y/n i have something to tell you" you felt nervous when these words came out of his mouth. "what is it about?" you ask "it's about your boyfriend, sungho?" you nod and giving him the signal to continue
"remember when i told you i was gonna pick some stuff up at the store? i saw him with some girl on my way there. they were being so touchy too"
"are you sure this is not just some joke of yours?" you weren't certain he could be trusted.
"what?" he looked confused "haechan, i'm not in the mood for this right now" he sighs and says "y/n i'm not kidding why would i joke about this?"
"well it's kind of natural to lose your trust in someone after they leave you" you shrug and he just hangs his head low "it's your choice whether to believe me or not. i did my part to let you know"
all you could think of whenever you were with sungho was what haechan told you. since he often felt the need to leave school as soon as his classes concluded and had been acting a little aloof lately, you believed that he had an urgent matter to attend to and didn't bother to question anymore.
but once he came over at yours, you noticed something and say, "i didn't give you that" he looked at you confused "give me what" you pointed at his neck "that hickey on your fucking neck, sungho"
he rubbed it and made an attempt at an explanation, but it was too blatant. he reached out to you but you moved away, saying, "get out," "y/n i can expl-" "I SAID GET OUT!"
your friends were out of town and the only person you could reach was jaemin. since you've been working on your project virtually every week, you two have become closer. you walked over to his room since you knew he wouldn't judge you.
when the door opened, it wasn't jaemin who was on the other side; instead, it was haechan, who had first warned you about this.
he pulled you into the room after noticing your tears, and was taken aback when you hugged him. he just held you until you were comforted.
"i'm sorry for interrupting, but I simply needed some company and thought jaemin would answer the door for me."
while wiping away the tears from your cheeks, haechan said, "hey, it's alright. jaemin's not home, but i hope i can provide you the company that you need?"
you sat down on the couch and began to tell him what had happened. he listened intently as you said, "he cheated on me, hyuck," and as more tears rolled down your cheeks, he pulled you into a hug, saying, "it will be okay, y/n. i'm here."
you mutter, "you still owe me an apology," to which he responds, "i know, and I want to make it up to you. can i pick you up and bring you to our spot tomorrow?" you nodded as you turned to face him, and he grinned and fluffed your hair.
being with haechan once more was comfortable. you hoped that he wouldn't hurt you again.
he fulfilled upon his word by picking you up the next day and driving you to your favorite place for stargazing. you were sat at the hood of his car and he began to speak
"i want to start by saying thank you for allowing me to apologize to you. y/n, i'm very sorry. i was struggling to feel okay and just wasn't able to get well. i didn't tell you about it because i knew you would have tried to help, but i didn't want you to. the people around me made it worse, school was also bullshit, and everything was just stressful. i wanted to improve myself for you, and i wanted to do it alone. i would be unpleasant and swear at everyone who attempted to help me, so i fled out of fear that i would do the same to you. until i was too frightened to even approach you. so sorry again. please try to forgive me; i promise to treat you better. i was a coward and i'm so stupid to do that to my best friend who only wanted the best for me."
you start to tear up "hyuck, i'm sorry for what happened to you and i'm sorry for not attempting to understand you. thank you for trying to do that for me, but i would have loved if you let me know earlier," you both laughed as you made a light joke. "i forgive you" you smile at him "you don't have to apologize for anything; it's all my fault, thank you y/n" he said as he gazed up at you and pulled you into a close hug.
when your friends returned, you filled them in on what happened between you and sungho as well as the reconciliation between you and haechan.
youngsi clenches her hands and says, "i'm literally going to beat sungho up," while renjun sobs, "i'm so sorry y/n, i was out having fun while you were alone. i'm so sorry."
when you noticed that renjun was crying, you started to cry as well. you comforted him, saying, "rj, it's okay haechan was with me, i'm glad you got to relax without having to think of anything else, you deserve that more than anything."
youngsi also started to cry and the three of you continued to weep and drink all night. words cannot express how grateful you are to have them.
you made the decision to go out to a club with your friends tonight, and they asked that you bring haechan.
haechan was overjoyed by this and eager to see you once more. he picked you up and drove you both to the place
"hey girl!" youngsi greets you haechan smiled at her and she replied with a nod "renjun's at the bar, let's get you both a drink"
haechan stayed by your side the entire night and made sure not to drink much so he could drive you back to your place after. "you guys, i have to go, my man's waiting for me outside" youngsi announced and renjun asked if he could come with as he wasn't feeling too well anymore. you bid your goodbyes and you're left alone with haechan
"do you want to go home too? you're drunk already" you scoffed "no i'm not!" he just nodded at you "maybe a little bit," you run your hands through his leather jacket, he felt tense
"i am so attracted to you right now" he blushed "hyuck, i want you" you sat on his lap and he held you by your waist "y/n, you're drunk. i'm taking you home" "i'm not drunk!" you whine. he walks you to his car and drove you home. he heard you gently call his name while he was tucking you in bed. you tugged on his jacket's hem and whispered, "stay"
when you were going to make yourself some tea since you had woke up with the worst headache ever and were trying to recall how the hell you got home, you noticed a man sleeping on your couch. you screamed loudly, causing the man to jump and tumble off the couch.
"haechan!? what are you doing here!?" "you were begging me to stay last night! it was the only way to make you go to sleep!" he argued
you just made your way to the kitchen and started to make tea for the both of you. haechan positioned himself on the kitchen counter
"so what happened last night? i completely blacked out" you ask him while rubbing your temple and handing him his tea
"nothing much, besides from you telling me you wanted me" you almost choke on your drink and looked at him wide-eyed
"i did WHAT?" he chuckles "so what did you do?" "i would never take advantage of anyone y/n. i took you home"
"such a gentleman huh? what if i told you i wanted you now?" he wraps his arms around your body and rests his hands on your lower back as you get closer to him.
"don't test me, y/n" he says in a low tone "or what?" he leans closer to you, your lips only a few inches away, until he walked away
you paused. "what the fuck donghyuck" he laughs and starts eating he squints his eyes at you while smiling "what? i felt hungry. eat up" you rolled your eyes
you were picked up from your room by haechan, who then escorted you to class. he envelops your body in his arms and kisses the top of your head before saying, "i'll pick you up at eight, okay?" you merely nod as you enter the classroom.
haechan picked you up and drove you to your favorite fast food restaurant for dinner. he then bought you both milkshakes and drove to where you like to stargaze.
you two relaxed in silence as you sat on the hood of his car.
he suddenly stood up and positioned himself between your legs and places his arms on your waist. he smiles widely at you and you laugh "what?"
"nothing, i'm just really happy to be with you" he holds your hand "y/n?" you looked at him "can i kiss you?" you blushed and nodded. he leans in and places his lips on yours you place your hand on his neck and he tightens his hold on your waist.
you pulled away for air and he pecks your lips then before resting his forehead on yours. "i'll treat you better than you deserve. will you be mine?" "i've been yours since that day at the playground" he beams and gives you another kiss.
you woke up with someone's arm wrapped around your frame you turned around to see haechan sleeping soundly
he looks so pretty. you thought. his golden skin, his moles, and his plump lips that you can't get enough of. but you really need to go to the bathroom so you try to get out of his hold but he only tightens it
"baby, stay with me" he nuzzles his head in your neck "hyuck, i have to pee" he looks at you "okay, but hurry up" you peck his lips and ran to the bathroom
you got back to an empty bed and hear him call you in the kitchen. "good morning, pretty" he greets you with a wide smile you hug him from the back and he turns to face you for a short kiss and returns to cooking.
you've always been a fan of his culinary skill; the meals he prepares are incredible, and you used to make jokes about getting married to him simply so you could eat well every day
"renjun and youngsi were supposed to come over today but i don't want to kick you out so i'm cancelling" you tell him. "what? no! i can cook more for them tell them to have breakfast here"
you and haechan both tell the other two that you two are dating, which causes renjun to spit out his meal in disbelief and youngsi to choke.
"she was still mine first" youngsi tells to haechan and he replied "we've been together since preschool you met her in highschool! she's always been mine"
you blush at his statement and renjun was the only one to notice as the other two were busy arguing. he mouthed congrats to you
when your friends left, you and haechan were relaxed on the couch, taking pleasure in a movie you simply happened to choose. and you were happy. your body easily fits into his arms. it seems as though you were meant to be together. in your lover's arms on a friday night was the ideal way to spend the evening.
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