#i’ve had a rough couple of weeks can you tell lmao

[mmodelsh]

no longer interested in begging people to stay in my life, if someone wants to walk away from me i will send them off with love and grace. i’m tired of having to prove i am worthy of deep, true, consistent love and connection. i am a good person with a pure heart and i am loyal to a fault. i only want reciprocal connections, whatever that looks like moving forward.

#i’ve had a rough couple of weeks can you tell lmao #sick and tired of not being valued or appreciated or loved in the way i deserve #i would rather be fully alone than be surrounded by half ass connections that do not serve me #its my fucking turn #im done being a people pleaser x1000000000 #sick of not being on the priority list :)))))))))))) #this is the only place i feel safe to talk about my shit so dont mind me hehehe #can people just love me and appreciate me and value me and show it like ?????? is that too much to ask or

[dyk3medown]

sober

eddie munson x reader

summary: song fic based on “Sober Haha Jk Unless” by Hospital Bracelet

warnings: gn!reader, ANGST, TW!! heavy drug use, implied addiction, some suicidal ideation and an attempt, this is pretty heavy i won’t lie, hopeful ending, a touch of dark humor

a/n: this song is in a very specific playlist that i made of songs that make me cry. i was listening to it at 2 am and just started writing until this fic was done so i apologize if it's a bit rough around the edges. this is definitely a departure from the smut i’ve been posting lmao

!!if you are on the taglist for eddie but don’t want to be tagged in something like this in the future, pls let me know. i don’t think i’ll be writing another fic like this anytime soon but just in case!!

I’ve been thinking about it every hour

You’ve fallen into a cycle recently, one that you’re not sure you can break out of. You wake up, pop a few pills, barely make it through the school day, go home, cry, pop a couple more to dull it all out, fall asleep, and repeat.

Lights are off, and it’s harder to do without power 

The lights are never on in your room. If they were, you’d be able to see yourself in the mirror, and that’s something you just can’t do. You know you don’t look good, you can tell from how the people around you react, but you can’t bring yourself to care.

My feet are broken, knees are loose, and I end up on the ground

It all spirals out of control the day Eddie cuts you off. He meets you in your usual spot, signature toolbox in hand and a frown on his face.

“You ran out already? I just gave you some last week.”

It’s only been a few days, and your stash is all but depleted. “Whatever, are you gonna give it to me or not?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t know if I should, Y/N.”

Panic rises in your body. “C’mon Eds, it’s no big deal.” You hold out a fistful of cash with a trembling hand. “I’ll pay you double, whatever you want.”

“You don’t pay me at all usually, and I’m sorry, I can’t help you if I wanted to. You’ve cleaned me out of all the good shit.”

A pained whine escapes your chest, and you’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so focused on getting your fix. “Please, Eddie, I know you have to have something!”

Eddie opens his toolbox, and you can see he’s not lying. All that’s left is some weed, and that’s not the high you’re looking for. “That’s not all you have. You’re lying, you’re just lying to me!”

“Y/N,” Eddie approaches you carefully, like you’re a wild animal, trying his best not to spook you. “Are you okay?”

He puts a hand on the side of your face as he looks you over, taking in the dark circles under your eyes, the way your skin has gone dull and the skin on your lips is dry and cracked. Once upon a time, maybe even a few weeks ago, you would’ve leaned into his touch, perhaps even taken it further.

“Don’t fucking touch me, you freak,” you slap his hand away, ignoring the genuine hurt you can see in his expression.

“Sorry, I don’t wanna be your little fucktoy right now," you spit. "You can get it somewhere else.”

Eddie’s gaze hardens, and he steps back, grabbing the box and slamming it shut. “I’m not selling you shit anymore. Call me when you’ve figured out whatever the fuck is going on with you right now.”

He storms off, and your heart sinks into your stomach, matching the way you sink to the ground, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes as you try desperately not to cry.

I don’t really know if I wanna overdose

You strike gold when you get home, rifling through your parents’ bathroom. Your mom had had a few surgeries in the past, and you knew they must have prescribed her some sort of pain medication. To your muted delight, you find plenty of mostly-full bottles, the sound of the pills rattling in their containers sounding like music to your ears.

The first time you almost overdose, it’s an accident. Turns out, mixing a bottle of vodka with prescription-grade opiates isn’t a great idea, and you wake up in a puddle of your own puke. You clean yourself up and rinse your mouth in the sink, wondering the whole time, what if?

The second time is not an accident.

You walk into your shift at Family Video to find out you’ve been fired. Apparently, not showing up for work most of the time and being out of it when you are there doesn’t make you a model employee. Robin follows you after you walk out, trying to talk to you, but you brush her off, and she gives up as you shut your car door in her face.

Robin is yet another one of the friends you’ve pushed away and now lost. First, it was your usual crowd, then Eddie, and now the girl you thought of like a sister.

You consider the bottle in your palm as you sit on your bed that night. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad if you took just one too many of the pills that sat so enticingly in your grasp. Your friends were clearly over you, your kind-of boyfriend/hookup/dealer didn’t want to see you again, and your parents had never given a shit anyway. There was no one keeping you here but you. You’re sick and tired of life anyway, which was the whole reason you started using so often in the first place, and you come to a decision. At least with everyone you love gone from your life, there’s no need to write one of those cheesy notes.

You’re almost in a trance as you unscrew the cap, dumping the remnants of the bottle, about a fourth, in your palm. Swallow mechanically, you start choking the pills down in groups of a few at a time. You lay back, head resting on your pillow as the effects begin to kick in.

A small smile crosses your lips as you fold your arms over your chest like a corpse in a coffin. You find it unreasonably funny to think of someone finding you like that, in the classic position of the dead.

When you wake up in the morning, feeling extraordinarily sluggish but still alive, you’re filled with the strongest emotions you’ve felt in a while: despair, embarrassment, and deep disappointment. Angry tears stream down your cheeks as sobs wrack your chest, ugly crying in a way you can’t remember doing since you were a child screaming about a broken bone.

Maybe I’m just constantly scared of being on my own

The next couple of weeks are spent locked in your room, skipping school and leaving only to grab a bit of food in the dead of night. You’ve never felt so isolated, so wholly and utterly alone. As much as it pains you to admit it, you miss your friends, you miss Eddie.

In periods where you have coherent enough thought, you find yourself longing for him. Not just the sex or smoking together, but the little things. The way his eyes light up when a song he likes plays on the radio, how he would always go out of his way to make you laugh, the sappy look on his face when you kissed him for the first time. He was one of the best things in your life, and you had to go and fuck it up just like everything else.

A head without the thoughts, I think that’s what I need

You’re mindful of your dwindling supply of the only thing keeping you going. The number of little capsules is slowly and surely ticking down in the last bottle, and you know that if you keep it up at the rate you have been, you’re going to need a refill soon. There’s maybe a week left, maybe a couple extra days if you really stretch it out, but you know you can’t bear to be able to think for long enough periods to make it last.

You weigh your options. If you take them all in one go, the supply issue will cease to exist, but on the other hand, if by some miracle you wake up again, you’ll be fresh out of pills and will need to find another way to restock.

Maybe I’m just too messed up to succeed

It’s kind of funny, you think. You used to be so bright and “promising,” as adults would say when you were small, and now here you were, high out of your mind on the floor with no prospects in life.

You’re broken from your thoughts by a loud knock at your front door. Home alone, you’re sure that without anyone answering, whoever is there will just leave.

“Y/N!” You can hear a muffled call of your name, and your heart jumps up in your throat. You cautiously make your way out of your room as the voice calls your name again, feeling like you're moving through water.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there.” You peer through the peephole and can see Eddie standing there, nervously tapping his foot with his arms crossed.

His head falls forward with a sigh, and he braces both arms against the door, forehead pressing against the wood between them. “Please, just let me in.”

You back away a few steps, trying to put some more separation between you and Eddie as you contemplate your decision. You could easily turn tail and return to your room, retreating back into the dark to think about whether or not to risk finishing off the last handful of pills. That option sounds very tempting, but you force yourself to consider the alternative.

You could also open the door, let Eddie inside, and finally see the person you’ve been craving more than any drug, maybe even think about asking for a little bit of help. God, you don’t even know what to say to him. How could you ever explain the tornado that’s ripped through your life and settled in your chest, slowly chipping away at what’s left of your heart? Your head is swimming and it's not just from your high.

“I’m not leaving until you open the door.” Eddie’s voice rings out in the silence once again. “I’ll wait here all night, fuck, I’ll stay out here forever if that’s what it takes.”

You inhale deeply, walking back to the door. Your hand hovers over the lock, fingers just grazing the cool metal. You exhale as you unlock it, eyes closing as you turn the little lever and reach for the handle.

After a few more moments of hesitation, you open the door, and you finally let Eddie inside.

taglist: @greengarsstuff @3ternalreal1ty @eichenhouseproperty @lizzieaurum @themonsterisapineapple @mayvinnie @nobody-stop-me @rues-deaddreams @matildavol6

click here to join the taglist

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader #tw sui attempt #tw sui ideation

[the-cult-of-russo]

Just Beneath The Flames (Part 5)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: Just want to remind everyone that I only have 8 chapters of this written up so far. Once those are posted it might be a little slower with updates. I’m trying to keep each chapter long, which is taking me longer to write them and I’m also super sick right now. And I mean like last night I collapsed and was in and out of consciousness and when I came to, I was being violently sick. Turns out my blood pressure took a nosedive and got super low. I’m B12 anemic and I think it’s related but I’ll guess I’ll find out when I see my doctor on Monday lmaooo. I’m in the middle of writing chapter 9 but obviously, I wasn’t able to finish it last night and I’ve been feeling pretty rough and out of it today. 

Also, this chapter wound up being 17 pages long and Tumblr was like ‘nah bro, you exceeded the text limit’. I don’t really want to put this as two separate chapters because it’s gonna fuck up my numbering system and I’m lazy and also, the last part of this just isn’t a standalone chapter, so I’m gonna do it as chapter 5.5 and post it right after this one. Fuck the text limit loooool  

—-----------------

You moved through the forest quietly, glancing around before you grabbed the arrow out of the squirrel and put it back in your quiver. You crouched, grabbing the squirrel before attaching it to the rope you had around your shoulder with a few other squirrels on it. You were hoping for at least some rabbit but the only thing you’d come across so far were the squirrels, so they’d have to do. You’d taken to hunting for a little more than you usually did so you could take some to Frank’s camp. It had been just over a week since the incident with the van and you’d been by the camp a couple of times with some meat for them, each time they appreciated it greatly. Apart from that, you hadn’t seen them much. Billy had told you the guys were going out all of the time hunting for a vehicle, but coming up empty-handed every time. You stood up fully and started to make the walk back to your treehouse. It was early morning and the air was crisper, telling you that you were on the cusp of winter. 

“Artemis, come in, this is Blackbird,” you heard from the walkie attached to your belt and you smiled to yourself as you grabbed it. 

“Go ahead, Blackbird,” you smirked teasingly as you slowly walked back. Every morning since you left with the walkie, Billy checked in with you and you’d chat for a bit. You’d admit you liked it. A niggling voice was in the back of your head telling you that you were making a mistake getting attached to these people, especially Billy. You’d grown fond of the group, although you didn’t know everyone very well, but they were good people. You’d especially grown fond of Karen and Frank, and then there was Billy. He’d jokingly mentioned that you’d bonded but it wasn't really a joke. Your time with him had made you feel a little attached to him and it worried you. He’d been so kind and encouraging to you and you hadn’t even worn your scarf since he’d spoken to you about it. He was worlds away from the man you met when he held a gun to your head but that was because he trusted you now, and you trusted him. It was nice knowing someone had your back but it was also scary as you knew what happened when you got attached to people. You’d tell yourself it would be best to create distance but then you’d think of the kids eating nothing but canned food and then having nothing left for winter, so you’d end up hunting so they’d have something to eat. Or Billy would radio you in the morning and you couldn't resist talking to him with a stupid smile on your face. You were getting sucked in and you knew you were and despite the voice in your head screaming at you to stop, you couldn't. 

“You out huntin’?” he asked over the walkie.

“Yeah, got a few squirrels but there’s nothing else here,” you sighed. You were worried about how scarce the meat was getting and you knew it would only be worse in the winter. 

“Hey, squirrel is still food,” he murmured and you could practically hear the smirk. 

“I know… I’m just hoping more will turn up. We need to make it through the winter,” you mused with a frown, unsure of just when you started using we and not I. 

“We’ll be fine. Still got a bunch of canned shit and once we find a car, we’re gonna hit up some stores,” he soothed and you nodded even though he couldn't see it. 

“How’s the hunt going?” you asked, still feeling that pang of guilt even though Billy had chided you more than enough times at this point that it hadn’t been your fault. He was quiet for a long moment before he replied.

“We’re still lookin’,” was his short reply and you knew it was short for a reason. It would only make you feel worse if he went on and on about how they hadn’t found anything yet but you knew they must all be feeling frustrated. 

“Anyway, got any plans later? You should come by for dinner and stop puttin’ it off or Karen’s gonna come by the treehouse and drag you here,” he snorted and you rolled your eyes good-naturedly.

“I’m not putting it off…” you muttered even though it was a lie. You had been putting it off because the more time you spent with the group meant bonding with them more. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just come for dinner so I got someone interestin’ to talk to,” he murmured and you heard Frank yell an offended ‘hey’ before he’d stopped the walkie and it made you laugh.

“I’ll think about it. When I’m done with these squirrels I’m gonna head to that little store west of here, see if they’ve got any salt,” you replied. You’d already planned on going by anyway to drop off the meat for them so you knew they wouldn’t let you leave without having dinner, not tonight. The small store you were planning on going to was one of very few in walking distance and all the others had been picked clean. This one had been mostly bare the last time you’d been there but you hoped salt might have been something overlooked and you really needed some to preserve the meat you had.

“Need me to come with?” was his immediate response and you smiled to yourself.

“Nah, I’m good. You just keep looking for a car or something with the guys,” you uttered softly, a warmth spreading in your chest that he’d offered anyway and you knew if you’d said yes, he wouldn't have any issues about it. 

“Alright, make sure you stay safe. I’ll keep my walkie on if you need me,” he said firmly and once again you nodded without a real need to.

“I will, you guys do the same,” you replied.

“Copy that. Blackbird, over and out,” he ended and you snorted as you clipped your walkie to yourself once again. 

You got to work with the squirrels and it took a few hours to get done since they were small and fiddly. You separated it and bagged it up like you always did and then buried them to keep them cool for when you got back. The idea of going for dinner there made you feel torn in two. Part of you wanted to go, craved the companionship you felt whenever you were in the camp. Everyone always made you feel welcome and gave you a warm reception and you really enjoyed talking to Karen and Frank. A part of you also wanted to see Billy again but you tried to shake it. The last thing you needed was to start depending on anyone else, it would only be harder when you were alone once again. You emptied your backpack, only bringing with you a bottle of water and one can of soup in case of emergencies where you might be caught out there longer than you wanted and you also took your knife strapped to your thigh. You toyed with the idea of bringing your bow on the off chance it would be needed but you didn’t want to take too much. In a perfect world, there would also be some food left over in the store and you’d be bringing it back for you and the other camp.

You set off out and avoided the road, sticking to the tree line for some cover as you walked. You were still wary after what happened with Billy, not knowing if there was a new group in these parts you needed to be wary of. And with you being alone, it would make you an easy target. You weren’t in a rush so you took your time and tried to enjoy the walk. You were still on high alert but it didn’t mean you didn’t try to find the beauty in nature, even if the world had gone to hell. When there were no signs of the dead roaming around it was actually quite peaceful. You’d always loved nature, it had always brought you great peace to be out in the wilderness, although you never thought you’d wind up living in it. It took almost an hour with your leisurely pace before you finally saw the store. You took a moment to look around at the deserted road before you felt comfortable enough to expose yourself from the trees. There were three dead ones wandering around outside the store and you readied your knife, plunging it into the eye of the closest one as it made a move to grab you. It drew the attention of the other two who turned to you, stumbling their way over. Once you took care of those two, you walked over to the door, banging on it a few times. No noise greeted you so you pushed the door open, eyes rapidly sweeping the place to assess for threats. Luckily, it was safe and you walked inside and shut the door. The shelves were mostly empty and seemed to house mostly useless items, but as you walked around to where the salt and condiments were, a grin broke out on your face when you saw the salt. You grabbed all of the containers, knowing even this wouldn't be enough and would run out quicker than you’d like, but it meant you’d be able to preserve at least some meat for the winter. You wondered if maybe you’d be able to bag another deer before it was too late and then you could ration it through the harsher months. With your bag filled with salt, you decided to rummage around and see what else could be here hiding among the stuff most people left behind. You found some dried herbs and decided to take them. While they weren’t essential, it wouldn't hurt to spice up your shitty canned goods for once or even season the meat. You found a large ball of thick twine and you knew it would come in handy so you took that too, then went behind the counter to have a look. You found a small first aid kit under the counter that you presumed was for the staff. As you rifled through it, it didn’t have everything and was more for minor injuries but you took it anyway, hoping Curtis could make use of it at least. You found a jar of Nutella and a jar of peanut butter and figured the kids would love the treat so you shoved them in your bag too, just as your walkie went off.

“You there, Artemis?” Billy’s voice rang out and you grabbed the walkie from your belt.

“I’m here,” you answered as you continued to nosey around.

“Guess who found a pick-up truck?” he asked, sounding like he was smiling. The hand that had picked up a box of cereal stilled as a smile of your own overtook your face.

“Really?” you asked excitedly and he laughed over the walkie.

“Yeah, runs good and shit. I was out with Curt and we finally caught a break,” he grinned. 

“That’s awesome, I’m really happy for you guys,” you said softly. It also made some of your guilt ease a little, like every day that passed they didn’t have a vehicle and it hindered them going for runs, it made you feel worse. But now they had a car and the only thing they were missing were supplies. 

“What are you doin’ right now?” he asked, still sounding like he was smiling a little.

“I’m at the store,” you answered, finally looking at the box in your hand and realizing it was disappointingly open and empty and you set it back down.

“Find anythin’ good?” he asked curiously.

“Not too much but I found some stuff. I got salt too,” you grinned at the last part of your sentence. 

“Looks like we’re both havin’ good luck today,” he laughed lightly and you smiled.

“If you wanna wait there, we can come by and get you. It’s on the way back anyway and then you can come for dinner,” he offered. Part of you told yourself to say no, home wasn’t too far and it wasn’t like you really needed a ride. But the other part wanted to see him and your mouth seemed to be listening to that part of your brain.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon,” you murmured. 

“See you soon. Blackbird out,” he said, always taking the walkie talk so seriously when you greeted each other or ended the conversation and it made you snort. You carried on looking around the store while you waited but came up empty-handed. You even tried getting into the back room but the door wouldn't budge and the stench of death seemed to seep out from under it. You wondered if someone had died or killed themselves in there and they were slumped against the door, you didn’t care enough to force your way in. You were walking back through the store when something caught your eye under one of the shelves and you walked over, crouching and peering under it. It was a can of some sort and as you reached for it, you accidentally knocked it further under the shelf.

“Mother fucker,” you huffed, stretching your arm even more and not feeling too great about being so up close and personal with the gross floor. Your fingertips touched the can and while you had no clue what was in it, you really fucking wanted it anyway. In the midst of your struggle, you heard a car engine and you hoped Billy wouldn’t walk in while you were lying on the dirty floor, desperately trying to get the can because you knew you’d never hear the end of it. But just as you managed to roll the can a little closer to you and the engine stopped, you then heard another engine. Your body tensed but then you tried to calm yourself, wondering if maybe Frank and the others had also found a car too. You weren’t quite sure why your brain decided to be hopeful for a moment and you were quickly reminded why it was a stupid way to think as you heard yelling outside. 

You left the can where it was, standing up quickly with your knife at the ready. You couldn't see through the glass at the front of the store as it was all covered in a thick layer of dust and grime. You stood as close as you could to try and hear what was going on and used your sleeve to wipe away a tiny amount of the dirt. There was a man standing just in front of the shop door pointing a gun at Billy who was also aiming his gun at the man. The gun the other man had wasn’t a handgun like Billy’s though, it looked like some sort of semi-automatic rifle but you couldn't be too sure, you weren’t a gun person. You moved to look better before you spied Curtis on the ground, some blood on his head and he was out cold. It made a spark of anger flash right through you and part of you wondered if this was one of the guys from the other day, a thought that was confirmed when you saw the black van you knew used to be owned by Frank and Billy. The other vehicle was a Ford Ranger pickup truck.

“Just take me to your camp, man,” the man demanded in a smarmy tone.

“Like hell I will. I wouldn’t tell you that shit even if I was on my last breath,” Billy snarled, glaring at him. The man looked off to the side, in your direction, and you jumped up and out of the way, worried he’d be able to see you through the tiny bit of clean glass. It had the opposite effect of you staying concealed though when you accidentally bumped backwards into a stand that contained decaying postcards and it tumbled to the floor with a clatter. 

“I’m starting to think there’s something in there you really don’t want me to find,” you couldn't see them anymore but the man sounded like he was smirking, his tone condescending. 

“And why would you think that?” Billy asked harshly, but you picked up in the very faint waiver of his voice.

“You keep looking over my shoulder at the door and I don’t think it’s one of the dead that made that noise,” he answered patronizingly. The door started to open and you darted behind a shelf, peeking out to see the man walking backwards into the store doorway, not stupid enough to turn his back to Billy. You wondered if Billy hadn’t shot him yet because of the gun the man was holding. 

“You’re makin’ a big mistake,” Billy warned darkly and your hand tightened around your knife as you tried to think of a plan. 

“And why’s that? All I wanted was for you to take me to your camp,” the man smirked.

“Right, so you could kill us all,” Billy snorted and you could just imagine his brows raised like he did when he was being sassy.

“You could have walked away from this scott-free,” the man countered and Billy barked out a harsh laugh.

“You really think I believe that bullshit?” he asked. You weren't sure if Billy was stalling, giving you time to leave out of the back door. And even though that wasn’t really a possibility because it was blocked, you wouldn't have run and left him to face this alone anyway. You crept silently with a tight grip on your knife. The man was in the doorway, his back to you and blocking your line of sight to Billy. That was good though, it meant Billy couldn't see you either and possibly give you away. You were slow to keep quiet as Billy and the guy argued, Billy working mostly on trying to piss him off by insulting him. When you got close enough, you sprang up and shoved the knife roughly into the base of his skull just like you’d do to one of the dead. You didn’t feel any remorse as the gun clattered to the ground and you yanked your knife back out, blood gushing from his wound as he fell to the floor and Billy was now there staring at you with wide eyes. You were just glad the man hadn’t squeezed the trigger when you stabbed him, the possibility hadn’t even crossed your mind until the gun hit the floor. 

There was a beat of tense silence as your chest heaved, rolling both shoulders to loosen yourself up.

“You alright?” he asked after a moment. His dark eyes were assessing you, looking concerned. 

“I should be asking you that, you’re the one that had a gun pointed at you,” you muttered. 

“Right… But you just killed a man,” he frowned. It occurred to you then that he might think you’d never done that before. You knew he had, you’d seen him and Frank do it the night you’d met. But you never really spoke to Billy about some of the things you’d done since the world went to shit. You didn’t get any joy from killing people and it had only ever happened when they’d put you in a position to have to pick between your life or one of your old group’s lives or theirs. You’d never killed an innocent person. You had, however, become desensitized to it over time and you’d admit you had more compassion for the animals you killed for food than you did for the bad people that took advantage of the state of the world.

“It’s not my first rodeo, Billy. I’m fine,” you murmured. His eyes still looked concerned for a moment but he seemed to believe you as he nodded before he looked over to the side. It was then you remembered Curtis. You followed after him as he went over and crouched beside his friend, tapping him on the face.

“Curt, come on. Wake up!” he insisted. After a few harsh taps to the face. Curtis groaned as his eyes fluttered open.

“What happened?” he mumbled, blinking wearily as he touched his head, bringing his hand to his face and seeing some blood. 

“You got knocked out. Don’t worry, he’s taken care of,” Billy muttered darkly, helping Curtis sit up. 

“At least we found your van though,” you said with a wry smile and when Curtis glanced over to it, he smiled despite it all. 

“This guy with the ones that shot at you then?” he asked, letting Billy help him to his feet and he leaned against the truck.

“If the gun he was carryin’ was anything to go by, I’d say yeah,” Billy huffed. Billy walked over to the van, presumably to check if their stuff was still in there but you held no hope for that with the time that had passed. But still, having two vehicles in this world was a lot better than one. While Billy checked out the van, you got a bottle of water out of your bag and some gauze from the first aid kit you’d found, cleaning Curtis’ wound so you could see it better.

“What's the verdict, Doc?” he asked teasingly and you snorted.

“It doesn't look too bad, I don’t think it’ll need stitches. You might have a concussion though, but I’m presuming you know how you take care of yourself with that,” you murmured wryly and he nodded with a smile as you put a large bandaid over his cut.

“What the fuck?” Billy hissed and both you and Curtis looked over, seeing him standing near the open driver’s door with some papers in his hand.

“What is it?” Curtis asked warily and Billy gave him a look you couldn't quite place before he walked over and handed the papers to Curtis. 

“Was the stuff in the back?” you asked carefully. Billy didn’t look at you, his eyes pinned to Curtis as he read the paper but he did shake his head in answer. Despite already knowing that would be the case, you still felt disappointed. 

“Holy shit,” Curtis frowned as he flicked through the papers and you really felt like you were missing something here. 

“We need to get back to Frank,” Billy said gravely. You wanted to ask what was going on but decided to keep your mouth shut. Billy looked more pissed than you’d ever seen him and you’d thought you’d seen him pretty angry when the guys stole the van and rained bullets down on you both. This was different though and it made you feel a little nervous and tense. 

You were in the black van with Billy on the way back and Curtis drove the truck. You’d tried to insist you’d drive since he was possibly concussed but he’d adamantly refused so you wound up with Billy. The air was thick and tense, filled with silence as he drove with a thunderous face. You’d told yourself not to ask, not to get involved since this wasn’t your group and none of your business, yet you couldn't help the curiosity that was gnawing at you from the inside out at how he was behaving. 

“So… am I allowed to ask what’s going on?” you asked warily. Part of you expected him to snap at you with how he was looking, but instead, he glanced at you for a moment before looking back out to the road with a sigh.

“You said you knew who Frank was before, right? The Punisher?” he asked.

“Yeah…” you answered, curious where this was going. His hands tightened on the wheel and he rolled his shoulder, glaring out at the road.

“You heard about what happened to his family?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

“Yeah… Didn’t it turn out to be some military guy?” you asked, remembering when it all came out about the man higher up in the military who had arranged it all. The media had a field day with all that shit when it came out. The man had been on the run by that point since he’d been found out but they never got a chance to catch him as the world fell apart soon after. 

“Yeah. His name was Rawlins, but back in the Marines we knew him as Agent Orange. Guy was a piece of work, in charge of a squad me and Frank were on. It was some real bad shit… and I’m-I’m talkin’ about Phoenix Program kinda shit. Anyway, this asshole was the one to kill Frank’s family, tried to kill Frank too but the bastard's too tough to let a bullet in the head take him out,” he rambled and you watched him carefully, noticing how tightly wound he was, how his voice cracked when talking about the family. You knew Frank and Billy were best friends and they’d served together but you didn’t know everything. You did remember Karen’s words about how Billy lost just as much as Frank did and it was obvious Billy cared about Frank’s family too. It made sense given what he’d told you about growing up without his own family in the system. 

“The asshole back there… he had some documents in here that has Rawlins’ name on ‘em,” he bit out after a while of you not knowing what to say and your brows furrowed a little.

“And you think he’s connected to him?” you asked hesitantly. He let out a mirthless chuckle as he once again rolled his shoulder.

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” he muttered with a shake of his head. 

You weren’t really sure what to say to him to make him feel better. You could sit there and try to convince him that it could be a coincidence but you weren’t about to do that when it could turn out this was connected. This was clearly a sore subject for him and you felt at a loss. You also felt a little uncomfortable at being there when he broke the news to Frank who was probably going to take it just as well as Billy was. 

“You can just drop me off on the way there,” you murmured after what felt like the longest uncomfortable silence in your life. He turned to you then, a grin on his face that was in complete juxtaposition to how angry he seemed.

“If I do that, Karen’ll kill me. You’re supposedta come for dinner, remember?” he asked with a raised brow. 

“That was before all this. I mean… I don’t think Frank and everyone else want to be told this shit with a stranger there,” you countered with a wary look. He frowned then, all amusement once again gone from his face.

“You need to stop doin’ that shit,” he muttered, his tone harsh and it made you blink at him.

“What shit?” you asked defensively. 

“You’re not a stranger to us. You think I don’t know what you’re doin’? You’re pushin’ yourself away from the group, tryin’ to act like you aren’t part of it. And yeah, you’re not part of the group as in you stay with us, but you’re still part of the fuckin’ group, Y/N. You’re still one of us,” he scolded and you looked away from him. You hadn’t thought it was obvious what you were doing and if you were honest, it was uncomfortable as hell to be called out on it to your face. Despite his words, you didn’t feel like part of the group, didn’t feel like one of them. You’d integrated somewhat, an acquaintance. Maybe even a friend. But it didn’t mean you felt like you belonged there with these people who already knew each other before the world went to shit. The people who already had a history and you were the only odd one out. 

“I need to swing by my place and get the meat anyway, so you could just drop me off and I’ll get it and come by,” you murmured, very obviously avoiding the topic at hand. The look he gave you made it obvious he knew what you were doing but he blew out a sigh.

“Alright,” he huffed, clearly not happy about it. You hoped if you took your time enough that the awkward talk would be done before you got there. The rest of the ride felt even more tense and you weren’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because Billy seemed like he was in a mood with you over you leaving but you weren’t sure why it was such a big deal. You had no idea who this Rawlins fucker was except from what you’d seen in the news. This whole thing seemed very private and very personal and you weren’t part of it. When Billy pulled up, you glanced at him warily, not liking how your stomach twisted uncomfortably because he wasn’t happy with you. You wondered just when the fuck you started caring so much.

“I’ll see you soon,” you mumbled, grabbing your bag from the floor. His eyes softened for a moment then as he looked at you and nodded.

“If you don’t come for dinner, I’ll send Karen,” he smirked and the relief you felt that he wasn’t being an asshole with you was immense. You snorted and shook your head.

“I’ll be there,” you relented, a smile toying on your lips as you slipped out of the car. 

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

[killerandhealerqueen]

saw the ask about Tan Jianci knowing how to do latain dancing, so prompt idea:

Shen Yi and Du Cheng has to go undercover in a dance competition to find a murder that's trying to cut down their competition the illegal way. Du Cheng doesn't know how to dance and is groaning at the idea of learning. Shen Yi keeps quiet when they are briefed in the mission: go undercover as participants and find the killer. Du Cheng expects them both to be miserable and is already dreading the fancy clothes they are gonna be practicing in. Until Shen Yi shows up in the practice room, earlier than him, and starts his stretching exercises. "How can a person's body bend that way?" They might or might not end up winning the competition in addition to catching the culprit.

Lmao, Du Cheng with his two left feet

When Du Cheng found out that he and Shen Yi had to go undercover in a dance competition to try and find a murderer…he was less than thrilled

He had two left feet and was as uncoordinated as a brand new baby deer.  In short, he was a terrible dancer

Shen Yi, however, didn’t seem to share his same sentiment…in fact, he didn’t say anything the entire debriefing

After the debriefing, Du Cheng let out a heavy sigh as he and Shen Yi stepped out of Commissioner Zhang’s office

“Well, this is going to be a pain in the ass…”

“Actually, I’m quite looking forward to it”

Du Cheng looked at him in surprise

“You’re what?”

Shen Yi just smiled

“I’ll see you in the dance studio bright and early tomorrow”

He then walked off, Du Cheng staring after him with wide eyes

The next day, Du Cheng stepped into the practice room, already dreading what was about to happen, when he noticed that Shen Yi was…already inside.  And stretching

‘There’s no way a human being is able to fucking bend like that’

“What are you, a human gumby?”

Shen Yi jumped in surprise and turned to look at Du Cheng, who was dressed just like him in a form fitting black t-shirt and form fitting black pants with flared bottoms, before he smiled

“Sorry, I was just stretching”

“How the fuck are you able to bend like that?”

Shen Yi smiled

“Practice”

Du Cheng stared at him for a moment before he narrowed his eyes

“Practice…do you actually know how to dance?”

Shen Yi looked away, a little ashamed, causing Du Cheng to huff

“And just when were you planning on telling me this?”

Shen Yi rubbed the back of his neck and continued to not make eye contact

“Uh…never?”

Du Cheng huffed

“What, were you afraid I was going to make fun of you?”

Shen Yi nodded, never looking up at him

“Yeah…”

Du Cheng frowned

“Do you really think so low of me?”

Shen Yi looked at him with wide eyes and shook his head

“No, no!”

He then sighed heavily

“I used to dance and take lessons when I was younger and a lot of people teased me because of it.  They said it was weird for boys to dance”

Du Cheng looked at him before he stepped forward and reached out, cupping his face in his hand, making him look up at him with wide eyes

“When we win this competition, those people who said it was “weird for boys to dance” are gonna look real fucking stupid, aren’t they?”

Shen Yi blinked before he laughed and nodded

“Yeah”

Du Cheng smiled and nodded as he stepped away and hummed

“Well, at least one of us knows how to dance…I actually have hope for us now”

Shen Yi chuckled

“I’m sure you’re not that bad”

“I’ve been told I have two left feet”

Shen Yi smiled

“But with practice, you’ll get better”

Du Cheng scoffed

“At least one of us has confidence”

Shen Yi smiled

“You’ll be fine”

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, Du Cheng and Shen Yi practiced diligently to master their dance for the dance competition, but the first few days were rough

And it wasn’t for a lack of trying on either man’s part, they really did try, but Shen Yi hadn’t danced in years and Du Cheng, true to what he had told Shen Yi, had two left feet

Their instructor, thankfully, was very patient with both of them and by the end of the training session, Shen Yi and Du Cheng were ready for the competition

The day of the competition, Du Cheng and Shen Yi, competed against other dancers and somehow won the competition

As they were accepting their award, Du Cheng heard something creak above them so he looked up, just in time to see the light hanging above them break off and come careening down towards him and Shen Yi

His eyes widened and he quickly spun Shen Yi out of the way, just as the light crashed into the stage floor

All of the contestants screamed as Du Cheng held Shen Yi protectively, using his body as a shield to hide him from the dust or any debris that could fly up and hit him

They then both turned to see who the culprit was and when they saw someone making a run for it, Du Cheng pointed to them

“POLICE!”

He and Shen Yi then took after them, both men taking the culprit down before they called in reinforcement to not only take the culprit away but make sure no one was hurt by the fallen light

While the culprit was being led away, Du Cheng turned to Shen Yi and smiled

“We got the culprit and the gold.  Not bad, huh?”

Shen Yi laughed

“Not bad at all”

He then looked at Du Cheng, his face softening

“Thanks.  For uh…saving me”

Du Cheng tsked

“Of course.  What, you thought I’d just let the light fall on you and crush you?  Come on, Shen Yi, have a little more faith in me”

Shen Yu laughed

“Sorry, sorry”

Du Cheng then reached out and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close

“Come on, we have to go celebrate.  We did just win, after all”

Shen Yi smiled

“Let’s go then”

They then left the competition, trophy in hand, to go celebrate and if they kept taking dance lessons and practicing afterwards...no one commented on it

(They may or may not have recreated the dance at their wedding for their first dance to show everyone why they were the best partners, not only in life but on the dance floor as well)

#sass answers #jiejie edition #Under the Skin #du cheng #shen yi #dushen #Under the Skin headcanons

[minimoefoe]

Thirteen Era Rewatch: Revolution of the Daleks

I'm re-watching Thirteen's era in lead up to the Centenary and since this is likely going to be my last full re-watch for a while I thought I'd do a post on each ep where I just go over all the things I love, hate or just have some general thoughts on.

I literally skipped the first 8 minutes idgaf

I love that she talks to the other prisoners like ofc she does lmao

Obviously Ryan has never been as attached to 13 as Yaz but I wonder if part of why it’s easier for him to move on and get on with life even if probs especially at the beginning he did miss her is bc he’s had to deal with similar shit with his dad leaving him

Yaz literally living in the TARDIS and just her general obsessive vibe in the first scene she’s in is chef’s kiss actually

The fact this ep was low-key presented as being the fam figuring shit out while the Doctor is in prison but then that doesn’t even happen is weird to me like I don’t even care that they Don’t do all that themselves, it’s just weird that it was kinda implied in the marketing

When I first saw 13 and Jack reunite when the ep aired I literally started crying. And I cried again when they hugged. It doesn’t get me quite as fucked up now but I do still love it a lot. Bringing Jack back was a cool idea, shame John is a twat

There’s just something about 13’s face when they hug like she’s been away from people for so long and she’s generally not that touchy but this is Jack and UGH I’m fine

The whole scene of Jack and 13 in the TARDIS is cute tbh, I love their vibe together

Imo ‘rough few decades’ implies she spent at least 30 years but probably more like 40 years in prison

Yaz’s hope/desperation here is my fave

The way she just jumps out the TARDIS and exclaims she was in ‘space jail’ like it was a fun time fucks me up like the mask is back on right away

God bless the shove

This is so uncomfortable like I think Jack’s flirting is funny but Graham’s reaction is insane like he does not want to be there at all. I remember from this scene some ppl were like lol Graham is flustered like no bro Graham is fearing for his life. Weird choice idk

I know the main focus is on how Yaz is fucked up by the Doctor leaving but God you can tell it got to Ryan too, his whole vibe is different, like he feels annoyed/let down

I love the Rose reference, just casual as fuck. Part of me wishes we coulda seen 13 face’s when she was brought up but i imagine she probably wouldn’t have had much of a reaction

Jack and Yaz’s chat is chef’s kiss. The way I’m watching all this and she is literally leaving in a couple weeks oh I want to die. Also Mandip plays this so well !!

I love past companions giving current companions advice inject it into my veins!!

I remember when we saw the Dalek land on Yaz in the trailer I thought it was gonna be fr and 13 was gonna go off tryna save Yaz lmao

The entire scene with 13 and Ryan is God tier. One of my fave eps of the show. The growth from Ryan where he’s now the one making ppl open up, them both knowing shit has changed. I know Thasmin is a thing but low-key I’ve always liked the idea that Ryan is 13’s fave

I don’t know if it’s the intention or not but I wonder if the reason Ryan managed to get that info out of 13 is bc she kinda knew that he was gonna choose to leave anyway and knowing he wasn’t gonna stick around made it easier for her to tell him

I’m a fan of the height difference.

‘one day’ aka literally for four years in series 13 and then for ever in just under two irl weeks

I also love that that scene is Yaz kinda starting to get frustrated with the Doctor not telling her shit and then it continues into S13

This shot? This scene? Chef’s kiss

This is so odd like why did he need to announce that idek. Just feels like a trailer moment. Also I don’t feel too passionate about the fact Jack never died in this ep, like it would’ve been nice but like it’s not the end of the world idk

I don’t get why people care about 13 letting that TARDIS dies or whatever tbh

Robertson is way less annoying in this ep which is weird bc he still feels kinda comically ridiculous idk. But somehow it just works better than in Arachnids

The way she smiles when she comes out of the Ryan hug. Like she’s almost not letting herself be really upset in front of him

remember thinking Ryan and Graham just walking out would be kinda boring but UGH I love it so much and it makes so much sense for their characters to go that way it makes me crazy

Her face in this makes me fucking depressed idek what to say

Such a simple line and yet I am sobbing thank you Chris Chibnall

13 literally considering messing with the timelines to get Ryan and Graham back fucks me up. Also the way Yaz response and the way she says ‘It’s okay to be sad’ is my fave

Ryan and Graham wearing the same outfits as in 11.01 is a bit cringe I can’t lie. I also used to think Grace showing up was really weird but idk, I didn’t mind it this time round

In conclusion, other than the first 8 minutes being an absolute slog that I couldn’t care less about, this ep is chef’s kiss and has so many 10/10 amazing moments. Loved it more than i thought I did tbh

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #dw meta #nataliechats

[outofcontexturi]

wed 26th oct 2022 journal

not gonna lie im abit nervous today. i’ve felt it internally. more than usual. bethlehem liked my message on insta. its 22:52pm. i dont know how i feel today but i can get a sense of overwhelmed. i feel quite overwhelmed with this week. and its only wednesday. facing my fears head on is hard. the feelings im carrying are a load on me. i finally spoke my truth to Amy and Vik yesterday and it feels real now. before when i was speaking to others about my issue, it still felt real but like no one i told was an authority figure. i think i’ve gone into a sort of defensive mechanism where im internally (my internal monologue) quite reactionary. its alot to hold and it almost feels like im doing it by myself which is quite sad but its honestly how it feels. i’ve had to live with this feeling for just over a year now and i still see her in spaces. i think im trying hard not to break but like what happens if i do break? im quite emotionally fragile. i told Andre today too. he told me i need to speak to her because im going to be doing a show with her and he fears that one wrong thing could turn this whole thing sideways. and i cannot afford for anything bad to happen. and he has a point. this lesson is so rough. im deeping how life is trying to do me man. what are the chances that I’d also be partnered with Moses for showcase?? like cmon bruh. i have love for Moses but like in the context of how life is currently trying to test me, this comes as a bit of a surprise to me. I better come out of LAMDA so much stronger than i fucking came in. I dont actually know what i need today. presently i dont know if i need to talk to people. i dont know if i need alone time. i dont know if i need to be with my thoughts. i dont know if i need to journal. im in limbo. i’ve been in this state for a couple of days now. lost emotionally. i keep reading things on social media that are triggering. maybe im low energy today. although on the plus side i know im loved. i have some really good friends. Ezra invited me to her halloween party. its BDSM themed. never been to one before lmao so only God knows what i’ll be wearing if i go. life is interesting man, life... i wonder... will it take me under? (i dont know)... shouts to Nas for saying that real shit. im like 60 pages into this Huey P Newton book. really good stuff. im going to finish it. idk when but i will finish it. its currently 23:11 (eleven eleven pee em). i really like the comic booky feeling that Spiderman into the Spiderverse has. it feels like i’ve had to learn how to harden myself. it feels like the only way to help me is to harden me but the thing i dont want to happen is i close myself off emotionally. like i thought about how it would feel telling her as i was walking home from the train station (dropping off Reba) and i started smiling involuntarily and i thought to myself this is wild that i’ll have to tell you this but fucking hell man. okay the journaling is beginning to help now i think. i dont feel what i felt at the start off this journal. i feel better. it must be a secret to this man. maybe its just the fact im with my thoughts but like they’re being seen visually that helps idk but i can tell you its helping with my emotions. im going to talk to her during this rep and close this chapter. i’ve spent so long focusing on how she’ll feel when i tell her instead of focusing on how i’ve felt having to live with this and i think its time i show more love to myself. it’s time to let her know. i forgot Rihanna was dropping new music on friday ahahha. we’re finally getting something. breaking the illusion is so so so scary man. cause reality is so immediate. or at least the perceived feeling after the illusion is so immediate. im so glad i have that Disney+ man. i know i said this yesterday or whatever but i fucking mean it man. its good to have it as a nice way to distract myself from whatever im thinking. Im thinking of Honey say “i dont give a fuck im gonna be me!” and its given me the boost i need. its amazing she comes into mind when i need her the most even though she isn’t currently here. I appreciate you Honey. and I love you. thank you for the boost of energy! its currently 23:32pm. its nearly halloween. thats crazy. im kinda tickling my toes and i must say i really enjoy this feeling. idc if that sounds weird. i love it. what a sensation on the toe. i dont know what im doing tomorrow but i’ll be doing something. im going to sign out now. probably try and call someone. if i cant get thru to them then i’ll just watch what i was gonna watch on Disney+ and call it a day. im gonna be fine in the end. i always am. good bye uri. i’ll see you tomorrow. sign out time: 23:37pm  

[lillianofliterature]

personal rant :|

i’m like—depressed. ish. more. again. like obviously it’s an up and down thing but I thought I was okayish? i was on this high of wanting to write and get things up and do all the things and then this last week or two just everything has lost its appeal. everything. now i can spend all day in bed and still not want to get up or do anything, which y’know, thats obviously not too good, lmao. i’m just so tired. but is it adhd tired or chronic illness/disability fatigue? it’s so hard to know what’s mental health and what’s my body asking for rest.

i’ve been trying to sit down and finish three different fics because they’re requests and I want to be punctual and efficient. but my inner self, like my brain or my executive function or whatever, is literally immobilized. the constant battle with my brain is exhausting.

I know I’m not alone in that, but it just really isolates a person. especially when I know that productivity makes me feel better emotionally, but I physically and mentally cannot achieve the goal i’m wanting so desperately to accomplish. then there’s the feeling of such inadequacy when I don’t do as much as I think I should/could be doing. (not looking for pity, this is just a personal rant.)

i seem to find myself back here after a few weeks or every couple moths in a cycle—even though I don’t post every week or update all the time, I am actively writing ideas, excerpts, and rough drafts CONSTANTLY. On sticky-pads, notebooks, notes apps, tumblr drafts, you name it. It never ends. And somehow I guess I burnout from that? But I don’t count that as productivity in my head because it isn’t a final product that is posted. obviously these are things i’ll telling my therapist this week lol. but for some reason I feel guilt for rants like this or even polite writing updates because they seem to always translate in my head as excuses for laziness, when in fact I’m just trying to juggle projects between inevitable burnout of the adhd-chronically-disabled-person cycle.

like I genuinely want to know how the eff I made it through grade school and high school? I know it was hell and I know I was working 24/7 days on assignments and spent all my time catching up to my peers (and had no social life apart from family lol)—but where did that urgency to do things go? the ability to get things done on a timeline with a somewhat solid routine? am I just in an Ultra Burnout™️ after going through school undiagnosed for both adhd AND chronic illness? hello brain? couLD YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING AGAIN? MAKE SOME NOISE? LET ME KNOW YOU’RE STILL UP THERE?

anyway, stay tuned for this next week on ‘lillian lives by the seat of her pants and also whatever gives her immediate serotonin’. thank u for your patience, good day

#adhd #adhd writer #writing #i cant even cry about it #because apparently i cant cry anymore lmao #PLS BRAIN JUST DO SOMETHING #A FLIP #A COOL SOUND #MAYBE SOME SHADOW PUPPETS #ANYTHING #pls #RANT #personal rant #adhd rant

[bunkerbucky]

Casual Sabotage *Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Reader is hit with sex pollen. Except she doesn't crave her boyfriend, Steve Rogers. No, it's his best friend, Bucky Barnes, that she wants inside of her. Bucky, in the beginning, is a good bro and refuses. But due to the fact she sucks his dick so good he kinda, sorta, loses that restraint and just fucks her regardless of who she belongs to.

Rating: Explicit [+18]

Warnings: Sex pollen= Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Rough blow-job, rough oral-sex, vaginal sex, praise kink, breeding kink, size kink- Bucky has a big dick in this lmao, choking and biting kink, infidelity; Reader cheats on Steve. 

TW: Dub-con- Reader is under sex pollen, so she actually cannot give consent and also because Bucky is so resistant in the beginning. It turns consensual on Bucky's part, he gives in to the temptation. But, obviously, reader is still influenced so... the lines are blurred.

Yourself and Bucky had searched the Hydra base from tippy-top to bottom. There was nothing out of the ordinary, which infuriated you a little. With the amount of recon work you both had to do, the long nights of watching the agents coming and going, you felt like you both deserved a small win, at least.

A long sigh escaped from your lips as Bucky's fingers typed furiously on the computers keyboard, a USB stick in hand just in case he found something exciting. Your arms were crossed over your chest, eyes scanning around the bases' security room, roaming the shelves and cabinets that held nothing of importance. A week of nothing, you wanted to cry.

"Hmm," Bucky low hum attracted your attention, "It says there's a basement to this building, we haven't checked that out." His steel eyes look over the screen and at you, you respond with a shrug of your shoulders. "We've got two hours before the cavalry arrives to pick us up, let's explore and see if we can obtain something to keep from Rogers from complainin'"

You giggle slightly at Bucky's comment, nodding in agreement with him. Steve would have a lot to say if you went back empty-handed, especially since he sent you both rather than himself. But you couldn't lie and say the thought of seeing Steve after so long didn't excite you. You had missed your boyfriend dearly, you weren't allowed on missions together since finally making things official. Work ethics and all that jazz.

Instead, you and Bucky had started to partner up, Steve didn't trust anyone but himself, and Bucky, to keep an eye out for you. Who better to watch over his best girl than his best friend, plus Bucky was your friend before you got with Steve.

"What if we go down there and there's a great, big monster waiting for us?" Sliding into the small elevator beside Barnes.

Bucky looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, "Then I'll be throwing you out as a distraction, so I can press the elevator door button to leave."

You both ended up laughing at his response, although when the doors finally did open and reveal a darkened basement layer... there was a moment of silence, you both side-eyeing one another at the lack of sound and movement.

Bucky stepped off first and the automatic lighting triggered him to pull his gun from its holster, his reflexes sharp and fast. You step off and follow Bucky down the hall towards double doors, the room through those doors was abandoned and huge. Desks with old computers, all smashed and out of use. Stacks of files and paper scattered on desks and the floor. Despite the mess, it all looks really promising, there had to be something amongst the chaos.

You both separate to cover more ground, you only had a limited time before you had to leave. You looked through paper and files, shuffling through stacks of meaningless bullshit. Hydra certainly kept a record of everything, including all the worthless crap. You wondered if they actually printed this stuff to lead you guys on wild goose chases like this, to make sure you were distracted with searching for something important amongst all their bullshit.

You ended up in the far back of the room, a small desk area had random empty vials littered across it. Files labelled in Russian, that you couldn't translate very well.

"Hey, Buck," You called over your shoulder as you lifted an empty vial, a cork tightly shoved in the top; curious. "Think I might've found something."

The vial itself was black, not black liquid, the vial was just black. It didn't feel weighted, it didn't feel like anything was moving inside of it. So, curiosity got the best of you because you yanked the cork off the vial. Black smoke puffed out and into your face causing you to inhale and go into a coughing fit. Waving your arms in front of your face, coughing at the inhalation of whatever was inside that vial.

It smelt like... old leather, peppermint toothpaste and...something else, like a deep musk. Odd.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bucky suddenly appeared at your side, a hand placed on your back and eyeing you with concern. He then grabbed the vial from your hand, it was clear and no longer black. "What happened?"

Your coughing had subsided, you felt fine. "I think there was some kind of smoke or whatever in there, I don't know. The black stuff just burst out, I was stupid-"

"Damn, right." Bucky looked mad, which was a given. "Hydra is known for making gas poisons, Y/N. That was a rookie move, never open strange vials." He didn't sound too mad at you, a little more concerned and worried.

You nodded, frowning when feeling the back of your neck sweating. You felt... hot. A sweat was taking over your body, your mouth was getting dry and your mind was going fuzzy. Bucky hadn't noticed, his eyes cast down to the Russian files on the desk, his hand flipping through the old pages and taking the information in with wide eyes. You briefly wondered if whatever is written in that file had anything to do with that vial.

"Fuck," Bucky muttered.

"What?" Your throat was scratchy, your breathing was becoming laboured and your palms were sweaty.

You didn't feel hot, though. You didn't feel sick either.

"Well, I'm guessing whatever was in that vial was... to put it plainly, sex pollen. It makes the patient unable to think of anything but sex, all they want and all they feel is lust. It's basically either used to breed or on prisoners- the pain of not getting off thoroughly enough can lead to the patient taking extreme measures: death." He shakes his head, you don't notice the horrified look In his eyes at the thought of maybe it being used on him when under Hydra's control. "You're likely fine, though."

"I wouldn't be so sure," You managed to gasp out, your thighs squeezing together and eyes closed, you wanted to feel embarrassed but you couldn't. "My head is spinning and, fuck, I need to get this off. I feel too hot, I'm burnin' up." Clawing at the collar of your own tact suit, your hands were shaking and you couldn't bring yourself to look at Bucky.

You wanted to look at him though. You knew he was standing close to you because you could smell him, he smelt like the black smoke did. He smelt delicious, intoxicating in the best way. God, you wanted him so badly. You needed him.

"It's going to be okay, Y/N. I promise, we'll get you back to Steve and he can-"

You shook your head and finally pulled the zipper down of your jacket, shrugging the bulletproof material off your shoulders.

"Need you." You managed to mumble out, lifting your gaze to Bucky, who was frowning and shaking his head. "Please, Buck. I need you! I can feel my skin crawling and-I'm in so much pain, please." Your voice a mix between a whine and beg.

"I can't- you're not thinking properly. Steve will be here soon and he can help you, he's your boyfriend, remember?"

You pulled the black, tight sleeved henley from your body and let it drop to the floor, it covered in sweat. You're standing in a sports bra and tact pants, chest heaving as you try to intake gulps of oxygen from your panting. Even with half your clothes off you still felt sweat bead and drip down your skin.

"I can't wait that long," You sniffled but no tears forming. "Please, I want you-I've always wanted you. You read the file, I'm going to die!"

Bucky continued to shake his head. "I won't do that Steve. It says that it took a couple of hours till that point, Steve'll be here soon and I'll explain to him what happened."

You groaned painfully, shaking your own head now. Not understanding why he couldn't just help you now. You were in immense pain and the throbbing heat in your core wasn't letting up.

You didn't want Steve to help you. You didn't need Steve to help you, it wasn't just because he wasn't here. You wanted Bucky. The smell of him, the heat radiating off his body when it was close to yours. You craved for him to touch you, to fuck you. You were sure the moment he touched you that the pain would ease, the flames that were consuming you would simmer down.

And you were certain that he wanted you too.

Taking the initiative you moved closer to Bucky, the short hairs on the back of your neck were drenched in sweat, you could feel it drip down your back. You placed a hand softly on his metal arm, the cool vibranium instantly cooling you down. Bucky let out a shaky breath and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing together as he took in your features. You were sure you could see the fight in his eyes, he wanted to help you. To touch you.

It was frustrating that he wasn't giving in. That he wasn't falling to his desires.

"I won't tell Steve, I promise." You whispered and pressed a kiss to his collar, inhaling his scent and shuddering when it filled your senses. He wasn't pushing you away, but he also wasn't giving in to touching you back. "It can be our little secret. I know you'll make me feel really good, he won't be able to help me like you can."

Her other hand trailed down his chest and stopped at his belt, Bucky was too busy telling her everything he had already been saying. Telling you how you love Steve and Steve loves you. It would break Steve's heart if he found out about this talk from you if he knew what you were saying to Buck. You didn't care, not right now anyway. You had always found Bucky attractive and before getting with Steve you had entertained the thought of Bucky, but he was just getting back his life. A relationship seemed too much for him, well that's what you thought.

You didn't settle for Steve, that was never the case. You love Steve, you know that. But, right now, here with Bucky, you knew that he'd be able to help you with this- more than Steve could. Steve was a peaceful lover, an attentive one. You needed this illness fucked out of you- at least, that's what your hazy brain was telling you.

Your hand slipped under his belt, a wide grin taking over your face at Bucky's shock, words choking out as you wrapped a hand around his dick. A sense of pride coming over you as he began to get hard in your hand, a few quick jerks as started to undo his pants with your free hand. Bucky was stunned into silence and compliance, unable to stop you just from the fact he hadn't been touched like this in a while.

He came to his senses when you noticed you get to your knees, his pants undone and pulled down his muscular thighs. Bucky slapped your hands away and tries to pull his pants back up, but you were putting up quite the fight. You roughly pushed him back, he ended up falling to the ground due to his pants restricting his movements. In the moments he fell down and was trying to figure out what happened, you had pulled down his boxers and gulped dryly at his semi-hard length.

"You're so big," You mumbled before wrapping your lips around the tip, a loud groan echoed through the room from Bucky.

You could feel him growing inside of your mouth as you tried to take more of him down, slobbering up his dick and licking around the shaft. Pulling off to run your tongue around the veins and down to his balls, gently suckling them into your mouth as you jerked his length till it was fully standing erect. You smirked to yourself at all of the noises Bucky was making, a hand being placed on your hair- which normally you hated Steve's hand in your hair, but you'd allow Bucky this time.

"Fuck my throat," spit was around your mouth and down your chin, "fuck my throat with your big cock."

Bucky's eyes were wide and lust-filled, there was still a hesitancy from him. A dilemma going on in that head of his, so you wrapped your lips around his cock again and started to slowly take him down. He was bigger than Steve, so much bigger, but that only spurred you on. You wanted him to roughly fuck your throat, you wanted to feel him at the back of your throat even after this.

You felt both his hands on your head... he started to push your head further down, the tip hit the back of your throat and you still hadn't taken all of him. He started to ease past your limitations, your eyes filled with tears as he stuffed your mouth impossibly full. Your lips stretched wide around his girth, he could feel your throat constrict around him and the slight gag you couldn't help because of how far he was down your throat.

"Fuck, so good." Bucky groaned lowly, eyes completely black and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. You knew your panties were soaking, a slickness collecting on your thighs as you rubbed them together, the flimsy material of your underwear was sticking to you and making you rub yourself just to alleviate the friction. "I'll deal with your pussy in second, right now I'm going to fill this hole up."

It was like Bucky snapped, the trepidation he was feeling before was long gone. It was now replaced with this new Bucky, and you loved him.

He wasn't merciful when he started to thrust in and out of your mouth, his balls were slapping against your chin harshly. The grip in your hair was harsh as he pushed and pulled your head to meet his hard thrusts, your eyes rolled into the back of your skull as he basically skull fucked you. Loud gagging sounds, your throat squeezing his cock as you fought for air, he only eased up when you looked like you were going to pass out. It was seconded worth of air before he repeated his onslaught, spit and cum was dribbling down your chin and onto your chest and sportsbra. Bucky kept his eyes on you, it made you shiver how he was looking at you.

Bucky didn't warn you when he was about to cum, instead, he held your head down, almost shoving his entire cock down your throat as loads of his cum spurted out and shot straight down your throat into your tummy. You hardly tasted his cum because of how far he was down your throat. He groaned as he came, swallowing thrusting his hips into your mouth as he milked his orgasm. He pulled you off his cock, it was still hard, thankfully.

He helped pull you to your feet then undressed you, roughly pulling the sports bra off your chest and yanking your pants down your legs. He ripped your panties to shreds and let the tattered pieces fall to the floor, his hungry gaze took in your shaking, naked form. Your thighs were glistening from your arousal and it was still leaking from your pussy, hardly any attention to it made you needy and wishing to be stuffed full.

"Turn around." The authority in his voice made you shiver.

You turned around and felt Bucky place a hand on your shoulder, bending you over the desk where you found the vial. The pieces of paper clinging to your sweaty skin and making you keen into his touch more. He kicked your feet further apart, a hand tickling the insides of your thighs and collecting your sweet juices. Expecting to feel fingers prodding around your entrance, instead, you felt a firm tongue lick from clit to fluttering hole, it dipping inside and collecting the juices wanting to leak out of you.

Your mouth fell open into a silent scream, his tongue was exploring so far into your pussy, his hands gripped your cheeks apart so he could push further inside of you. Tongue fucking you so roughly and expertly, your eyes almost went crossed out from the feeling. You didn't know you could be tongue fucked this good, but Bucky just lived to prove you wrong. The slurping sounds and moans from the man behind you, he lifted and bent your knee to rest on the table; opening you up further for his trained tongue.

"You're gonna have to let me have a taste of this everyday from now on, baby." Bucky groaned against your pussy, mouth closing around your clit as he sucked harshly, your mouths drowning out his own. "Taste so good," the tip of his tongue running figure eights on your engorged clit.

Bucky must've stayed between your legs for minutes, but it felt like hours. He pulled two back-to-back orgasms from you, only using his tongue. When he was done eating your pussy, he stood up and draped himself over your back, an arm wrapping around your neck as he breathed heavily into your ear. You could feel his cock nudge up against your pussy, sliding and coating himself in your juices.

"You ready for me?" You whined your response, trying to push yourself back against him but his arm tightened around your throat- not restricting your airflow. "Think your little pussy can take my dick, dolly?" You nodded in a rush, needing it inside of you otherwise you was going to die. "I've got you," The tip nudges against your entrance and began to push inside, the stretch was painful but welcoming. "Daddy's got you."

Your pussy fluttered around his length, the more he pushed his thick length in the more you moaned. He wasn't even half-way in when you started to babble about how he was too big for you, how he wouldn't fit inside of you. That only made Bucky want to prove you wrong, want to prove that you were made to take him. He started to thrust shallowly, rocking his length in and out of you, impaling you on him more whenever he pushed forward.

Once he was fully sheathed inside of you, he stopped and remained inside of your tight, heat for a moment. Relishing in the way you were split open around his cock, your walls were spasming around him and he was having a hard time not cumming on the spot. You felt so tight, so warm and wet around him, suddenly envious that Steve got to have you all the time. But he was planning on ruining you, to make sure the next time you fucked Steve it wouldn't feel as good.

He was going to fuck you so hard, so deep that you'd be wishing Steve was this big.

"Hang on, baby." That was the only warning you got.

Bucky started to pummel inside of you, his thrusts were hard and fast, his cock was kissing your cervix. You really could only just lay there and take it, your mouth open as moans were ripped from you, eyes rolling back as he kept impaling his girth inside of you. He was hitting spots so deep you knew you'd be feeling him for days afterwards, you'd be walking with limp and sore, it was worth it.

The way he was fucking you, it was as if he had something to prove.

The sound of skin slapping skin, his grunts and groans right beside your ear. His arm around your neck, clenching and cutting your airflow off at times, had you cumming within seconds and he still didn't let up. He didn't stop and fucked you through your third orgasm.

Your mind was starting to come down from the pollen, the pain and fever you were feeling had gone. Replaced now with pleasure and pain, a mix you didn't think you were into but now couldn't get enough of. All you could think and feel was Bucky Barnes. This was no longer the effects of the pollen anymore, this was pure you and riding on the afterglow of Bucky fucking you like you needed.

"Harder." You mumbled through heavy pants, tilting your head to look at him over your shoulder.

A smirk crossed his features, metal arm holding your hip in a bruising grip. Complying with your order and snapping his hips hard into your heat, grinding his hips against yours before pulling back out and repeating. It causes your back to arch, pressing your pussy back against his thrusts with little mewls leaving your lips.

"Kiss me." You plead breathlessly.

Bucky doesn't falter with that demand either. Draping himself over your body again and pressing his plump lips against yours, the kiss is far more gentle than his thrusts, but it still has you moaning against him. He was kissing you like you was fragile, yet fucking you like you were some kind of sex toy that he was using just to jerk off into. It was making your head spin and your pussy needy for more.

"You gonna come again?" Bucky chuckled against your ear, you nodded sharply and cried in pleasure when he bit your shoulder, cumming on the spot when his teeth dug into your flesh. "Mm'good girl." He mumbled as he licked at the tender spot, you could feel his hips stuttering their pace.

"Cum in me." You grinned and he cursed lowly, eyes squeezing shut. "Want you to fill me up, daddy. Fuckin' fuck a baby into me, fill me up."

The arm around your neck was pulled away, hand splaying across your back as he started to thrust into you in tight, fast and hard thrusts. Using your body to seek his own pleasure now, you were biting your lip at the thought of him filling you up. Not even caring if he actually did knock you up, you needed his cum inside of you.

Bucky found his end after a few careful thrusts, warm ropes of his seed filling you up and then some, he filled you up so much that it started to seep out around his cock. He groaned at the mess he made inside of you, he carefully pulled out of your abused cunt to see your hole clenching, trying to keep his creamy load inside of yourself. He had to look away because if he kept staring he'd get hard again, he didn't think you could take another round or load.

You remained bent over the desk and trying to catch your breath, his human hand was rubbing comforting circles on your back. Before you or Bucky could say something a buzzing sound captured both of your attention, it was coming from Bucky's pant pocket. He left you to retrieve his phone, eyes scanning over the device for a moment before he looked at you.

"Steve is waiting at the extraction point for us," You nodded mutely and you both got dressed in mutual silence.

He helped you to look presentable, ignoring the fingerprint bruise on your hip and the obvious bite mark on your shoulder. You were unsure how to explain any of that to Steve, you were also unsure how to explain what happened to Bucky. Obviously, you had still had those feelings for him, right? Otherwise, you would have been able to wait for Steve, it was like all sense of self-control had left you and only Bucky remained in your mind.

As you both left the base in awkward silence, treking the five miles towards the extraction zone, you wondered if you would have craved for Bucky if you was with Steve. If after all this time it was Bucky and not Steve you wanted.

All you knew was that Bucky had ruined you. You could still feel the impression of him inside of you, the way he had so deliciously stretched you open and impaled you on him. The way he had roughly fucked your throat like it was nothing but a hole to get off into. He had fucked you, in more ways than one.

(Please, let me know what you think! I’m also taking requests too! Honestly, kinda wanna write a part 2 where Reader tries to have sex with Steve but fakes her orgasm just to go to Bucky... I’m a bad person, I just think Bucky would be better than Steve tbh lol~ Lilith)

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #steve rogers x reader

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 4

Character(s) included: Kenma & Suna

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of alcohol [Kenma]

Song of the day: Tired by Beabadoobee

A/N: First off please check out my announcements post. It has a lot of important Information in it and I would really enjoy it if you checked it out! Next this is requested by my wonderful sibling. Hopefully you all enjoy- also how's my new stuff..? Tell me if its ugly lmao.. I recommend having the palette/theme set to Goth Rave for the best look- I might make a few things a darker purple though! This might be the last part to this series unless anyone wants a few more!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..?  Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it, so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

#xics.fics #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #sports anime #anime #tendousthoughts #fanfic #haikyuu fanfiction #angst #fluff #haikyuu x y/n #kenma kozume #kenma #hq kenma #suna rinatro #suna #hq suna #kenma x gender neutral reader #suna x gender neutral reader #kenma x gn!reader #suna x gn!reader #kenma x y/n #suna x y/n #kenma x reader #suna x reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #hq x reader #hq x you

[gubler-me-up]

Caught in the Act

Request: I got a request for you! Spencer is leaving for a big case and won't be back for a week so the reader decide they want to record themselves doing 'it'. And its a lot of degrading and Dom!Spencer you know the drill ;))

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! The “you know the drill ;))” is SENDING me LMAO I mean I hope I delivered and completed the mission as it was intended to be! Enjoy just pure dirty smut and dom!spencer have fun 🥰✨

Couple: Dom!Spencer/Sub Fem!reader

Category: Smut (NSFW 18+)

Content warning: Swearing, choking, slapping, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, spitting, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, rough sex, degradation, pinching, hair pulling, dom/sub roleplay, sex tape, squirting, male ejaculation, masturbation (female)

Word count: 3.1k

————-

You rummaged through your desk in your living room. You smiled when you found what you were looking for. Your video camera from last Christmas. Spencer has gotten it for you because you told him how much you wanted to get into film. It hadn’t seen the light of day for three months but you thought today would be the best day to use it.

You hid it behind your back as you walked towards your open bedroom door. You saw Spencer packing his bag. You pouted as you watched him pack because he was leaving you for a case in Oklahoma for a week. Since he wasn’t going to be around for a week, you thought it would be a great idea to spend your last day together making a movie.

You walked up behind him and rested the side of your face on his back. You could feel the vibration of his chuckled before he turned around to look at you. He smiled at you but wasn’t blind to your arms being tucked behind your back. He raised a questionable eyebrow at you as you stared at him with a sly smile.

“What’s behind your back?” He questioned.

“Give me a kiss and maybe I’ll give you a hint,” you said.

He chuckled but obliged to your demands. He leaned in to kiss you and you fell into his lips immediately. He made sure to not leave you yearning for a deeper kiss by making sure your tongue and his tongue played around. You should have known it was too good though because you soon felt him grab the camera from your hands.

“Ugh, that’s not fair. It was supposed to be a surprise,” you said.

“You wanted to surprise me with your video camera?” He asked.

“I mean, kind of. I wanted to make a movie with you, so you know, I can have something to remember you by while you’re gone,” you explained.

“What kind of movie were you thinking about making?” he said.

You rolled your eyes at him as you saw his smirk grow as he waited for you to respond. You grabbed the videocamera back from him as you walked over to the side table next to the bed. You turned it on and made sure the viewfinder was facing outward. You placed it on the table before turning around to look at Spencer.

He still had a smirk on his face as he waited for you to tell him the movie you wanted to make. You turned your head to look at the videocamera and pressed the record button. You turned back to look at him with seduction in your eyes this time. You pulled up your top to reveal your breasts still encased in your bra waiting for him to make a move. You tossed your top on the floor as you watched Spencer look you up while biting his bottom lip.

“Is it clear what type of movie I want to make now?” You asked.

“You want to make a pornography movie?” He asked.

You sighed. “It doesn’t sound sexy when you say the full name.”

He chuckled. “Sorry. You want to make a porn movie?”

You nodded your head. “Yes.”

He nodded his head slightly before placing his bag on the ground. He walked over to you and you could barely hold your excitement back. You bounced on your toes as he approached you. He grabbed you by your neck to hold you still as he planted a quick, overbearing kiss on your lips before he looked deep into your eyes.

“How would you like to be treated for the camera? As my princess or as my slut?” He asked.

You grinned. “I want you to slut me out in front of the camera.”

He chuckled. “Be careful what you wish for.”

You felt his hand move from your neck to the back of your head. He grabbed a bundle of your hair and yanked you to your knees. He yanked your head back so you could look up to him. He didn’t indicate to you any expression of wanting you the way you wanted him but the sound of him urgently undoing his pants told you enough.

“Open wide,” he demanded.

You opened your mouth as wide as it could possibly go since you knew how much he loved when you took the whole of his dick in your mouth. He lowered your head and shoved his dick into your mouth. You gagged as you adjusted to his urgent thrusts in your mouth.

He didn’t give you a second to get into your own groove or catch your breath between thrusts. You made little sound as you gurgled on your spit as your access spit pooled out of your mouth. You saw on his face he had a look of disapproval as he watched you choke on his dick.

“Let the camera hear how a slut moans on a cock not how she chokes on it,” he demanded.

You started to loudly moan around his cock to please him. You watched as his look of frustration turned into a look of content. You played up your moans so he could hear just how much you enjoyed having his dick in your mouth.

He let go of your hair as he stretched his hand towards the video camera. He picked it up and held it towards you. You saw your image on the viewfinder as he continued to thrust into your mouth. You didn’t realize how much you were actually drooling or how watery your eyes looked.

“Does the slut love choking on dick?” He asked.

You moaned a “yes.” He took his free hand and yanked you by your hair to get your mouth off his dick. You moaned as you looked up to the camera. He angled the camera down to focus on the saliva on your breasts before pointing the camera back to your face.

“Take off your bra,” he demanded.

You didn’t hesitate. You unhooked your bra and then threw it to the side without taking your focus off the camera. He let go of your hair before giving you your next instruction.

“Spit on your breasts,” he demanded.

You cupped your breasts and spit in the crease between them. You looked right into the camera as you messaged your saliva all over your breasts.

“Do you know what I’m going to do to you next?” He asked.

“Fuck my tits,” you said.

He responded by sliding his dick in-between your breasts. You looked down to watch his dick slide between your breasts. You stuck out your tongue to lick the head of his dick before spitting on it.

“You filthy slut.”

He grabbed your jaw tightly and forced you to look up at him. You tried to look back down at his dick in-between your breasts but his strong grip prevented you from looking down. You had no choice but to look at him glaring down at you as he continued to point the camera in your face.

“Did I tell you to spit on my dick?” He asked.

“No,” you said.

He slapped you on your cheek. “No what?”

“No, sir,” you said.

“Tell the camera how much of a cock sucking slut you are,” he demanded.

“I’m a cock sucking slut,” you said.

He slipped his dick out from between your breasts before stepping out of his pants and underwear completely. You looked up at him waiting for your next command. He started to walk backward and you followed his lead on your hands and knees.

“That’s right, crawl towards the dick,” he said.

He stopped walking before his back touched the wall. You didn’t dare touch him until he instructed you to. You wouldn’t make that mistake again. You wanted to show him how obedient you could be and to have it on tape was a plus. He loved when you took your punishments and his dick like a champ.

“Get up and take off your pants,” he demanded.

You jumped up with no questions asked and slipped out of your sweatpants and underwear. You were about to drop back down on your knees until he grabbed your arm. You looked at him with wide eyes as you waited for his next move.

You were surprised when he kneeled in front of you. You looked down at him to see what he was doing but you already felt it. You felt two of his fingers rapidly pump in and out of you. You moaned loudly as you tried to steady your legs from wobbling so much.

“Is the slut going to squirt for the camera?” He asked.

“I-I’ll…I’ll t-try,” you said.

He inserted another finger in you as he used his thumb to circle your clit. You moaned heavier as your body became hotter and your legs could barely keep you up. The longer you took, the more impatient he became and the rougher he circled his thumb around your clit.

“You fucking stupid slut, squirt for the camera or else,” he demanded.

With a few more circles of your clit, you let out a shriek before squirting all over the camera lens. He immediately retracted his fingers from inside you before he stood up. He grabbed your neck to bring your mouth closer to the camera lens.

“I said squirt for the camera not squirt on the camera. Lick up your slut juices. Quickly,” he demanded.

You stuck out your tongue and started to lick up every last drop of your juices off of the camera. You made eye contact with him a few times while you licked the lens. You could see him watching your every move carefully. You could tell he was ready to fuck the sense out of you as soon as you were done cleaning up your mess.

You leaned away from the camera and licked your lips to indicate to him you enjoyed it. He let go of your neck briefly to slap you on your cheek before wrapping his hands around your neck again. He forced you to look directly into the camera as you could hear his breathing increase from behind it.

“Let the camera know what a dirty slut you are for liking the way you taste,” he said.

“I’m a dirty slut who loves my slut juices,” you said.

“You love it huh? I thought your disgusting slut mouth loved my cum,” he said.

You slightly nodded your head. “I do. I’m a huge cum slut.”

“Let the camera know how many times in one day I’ve cum in your mouth. Don’t lie,” he said.

“Four times,” you said.

“Show the camera how a cum slut takes cum in her mouth,” he said.

You opened your mouth wide and stuck out your tongue. You could see him break into a smile as he probably remembered the day you were talking about. The thought of him remembering your mouth full of his cum was enough to make you wet all over again.

He angled the camera to the side so it showed both of you from your side profiles. He leaned you in closer to him before spitting in your mouth. You smiled as you swallowed his spit. He slapped you across the face again before grabbing your jaw to pull you right in front of his face.

“Where are your fucking manners?” He coarsely whispered.

“Thank you, sir,” you whispered.

“Now lay down on the bed and touch your pussy like the ungrateful fucking slut you are,” he whispered before letting go of your neck.

You scurried over to the bed to lay down. You propped your legs back and wrapped your arms around your thighs to keep them in place. You looked up at Spencer who was looking back at you with the camera pointed at your face. You looked towards his dick which looked even harder than before.

You bit your lip as you stared at it hungrily. You started to rub your fingers up and down your folds as you thought about how close he was to fucking you. He moved the camera’s focus down to you playing with yourself.

“Finger your tiny slut hole and say what you want,” he demanded.

You stuck two fingers in yourself and slowly started to pump your fingers in and out. You let out whimpering moans as you watched him filming you. He then pointed the camera at you to catch you saying what he wanted to hear.

“I want you your big cock in me. I want you to expand my hole so bad,” you moaned.

He pointed the camera back down to watch you fingering yourself. He took his free hand and placed it on your clit. You gave your clit a quick pinch. You let out a wild shriek.

“You think your slut pussy deserves my cock?” He asked.

“I do. I’d do anything for you to fuck me,” you whimpered.

He pointed the camera towards your face. “Because you’re what?”

“Because I’m your slut. I only belong to you. I only want your cock. I only want your cum.”

He grabbed your hand and forced your fingers out of you. He replaced it with the feeling of the tip of his dick outside of your whole. You moaned as you looked down in anticipation. He pointed the camera down to film his little teasing session. He slowly pushed his tip in enough to make you moan senselessly but would take it out just as quick.

You found yourself moaning ‘please’s’ to him as he continued to tease you. He didn’t look up at you once. He continued to tease you as he completely ignored your pleas.

“My slut pussy needs to get railed, please. I need it so bad. I need it, please,” you started to beg as his teasing started to get to you.

He pointed the camera back up at you to see how sexually distraught you looked. Your face soon changed when you felt him shove his dick into you. Your mouth dropped and you let out a loud shriek as he started to give you what you begged for. You could barely even form a proper sentence to thank him properly.

“You begged for dick and now you look like you can’t handle it. Say how much your slut pussy loves it or else you get nothing,” he said.

“My slut pussy loves your dick for fucking me so good,” you screamed.

He slapped you on your breast. “Don’t fucking stop talking.”

“I’m such a slut for you,” you screamed.

He squeezed your breast. “Keep fucking talking.”

“I wanted to record you fucking me so you’ll always know I’m your slut,” you screamed.

“Oh? Is that so? Are you going to masturbate to this while I’m gone?” He asked.

“I so fucking am,” you screamed.

He started to fuck you harder which made it nearly impossible for you to say anything. With the camera still pointed at your face you could see yourself in the viewfinder. You looked as if you had lost your mind. You thought his main reason for pointing the camera at your face so often was because he loved seeing you look so wild as he fucked you.

“I’m going to fuck your slut pussy so good you won’t need to masturbate to this,” he said as he continued to ram his dick into you.

You shrieked out a ‘yes’ as you tried to catch your breath in-between thrusts. He finally lowered the camera to show his dick ramming into you. You watched him film it as you watched him fuck you in real-time. You didn’t dare mess up the scene for him even though your hands were getting sweaty and were slipping from your thighs.

He soon took out his dick and started to rapidly stroke it. You looked at his dick with eager eyes as you waited for him to finish. He pointed the camera at you again. You made sure to make eye contact with the lens.

“I’m going to cum on your pussy and then I want you to clean it up. Understood?” He asked.

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered.

He pointed the camera back down to film himself stroking his dick. With a few more strokes of his hand, he let out a satisfied groan as he came on your pussy. He moved the camera closer to get a good view of his cum dripping down your pussy.

“That’s how a slut pussy is treated,” he said.

“Mhm,” you said.

You let go of your thighs and took your right hand to scoop up what you could of his cum. He followed your every move with the camera. He watched as you placed your cum covered fingers in your mouth and licked off every drop before going for seconds.

“Does the slut like that?” He asked.

“Yes, sir,” you said as you put your newly cum covered fingers in your mouth again.

He grabbed your jaw again. “Open up.”

Before you could open your mouth up fully, he spit in the direction of your mouth but it landed on your bottom lip. You smiled as you gladly licked it up. He gave you one last slap across the face before grabbing your chin and sticking his thumb in your mouth.

“You were a fucking good slut today for the camera. Did you love being a slut for the camera?” He asked.

“I fucking loved being a slut for the camera,” you said.

“What should your porn name be?” He asked.

You smiled. “Spencer’s cum slut.”

He chuckled. “I like that. I like that a lot. Now sign off how your porn personality would.”

“This is Spencer’s cum slut and I just got fucked by Dr. Spencer Reid and I loved it,” you said.

“Perfect, baby,” he said.

He removed his thumb from your mouth. He turned off the videocamera and tossed it aside. He looked at you with a huge smile on his face before he leaned down to kiss you. He pulled away to admire you and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Was I really that good today, doctor?” You asked.

“You were more than really good. You were amazing,” he reassured you.

You smiled. “Does that mean I can masturbate to our sex tape while you’re gone?”

He smirked. “Only if you make me a copy for the road.”

“Of course, sir,” you said before kissing him to seal the deal.

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496  @laneybobeczko-g @littlewierdalien @cynbx​

#spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #dr.spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #dom!spencer #smut #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #criminal minds smut #spencer reid request

[deadpoetsmuses]

"inspiration". | neil perry, dps.

in which a summer is spent with the poets, with a significant feature of neil perry.

✧ title: "inspiration".

✧ pairing: neil perry x fem!reader.

✧ genre: fluff, with slight mentions of angst.

✧ word count: 2,733.

✧ warnings: written in headcanon format, home life mentions, the reader lives in meeks' grandma's house, knox being a simp for chris.

✦ author’s note: requested by @mybabysweetascanbe! it's kinda funky how i wrote this as a headcanon but it still ended up being my longest fic lmao. also i wrote the poem that neil made for the reader myself so i'm sorry if it's kinda cheesy 🗿 but i hope you all enjoy this one !! don't forget to take care of yourselves guys <3

✎ The summer holidays had always been a time for the poets’ relief.

✎ Their academic year was constantly filled with difficulties for the poets, but it was harder for some when they were home for the summer.

✎ Neil felt as though he couldn’t be himself-- he loved reading and writing even more so than he did with accomplishing any of his parents’ wishes, like heading into medical school. He especially loved to act, and it was rough to keep that concealed around his dictatorial father.

✎ Todd’s older brother would be at home as well, and it was worse enough being in his shadow; but it had gotten worse with every one of his parents’ daily proclamations.

“We were quite disappointed with your grades from last semester, son,” His father reprimanded, looking down on him with stern eyes. “I just don’t understand what’s gotten into you. Your mother and I raised you quite well and you have your brother to guide you along. You know that he’s remarkably intelligent and well accomplished. Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

✎ Charlie and Knox had been just like Neil. The constant pressure that their parents put on them about becoming a banker and a lawyer was daunting; and all they wanted was to simply live as regular teenagers without concern for their future.

✎ Fortunately, Meeks’ grandmother was a woman who had a colossal and motherly love for the poets with a sizable residence in which her grandson’s friends could inhabit during their vacation.

✎ Thus, the poets resided in the Meeks household in the summer before their senior year so as to escape the stress and troubles brought to them in their own homes.

✎ Even though the summer was fleeting and their time was short, the poets found their time to be everlasting when they met the student boarder of the house.

✎ She went by the name of Y/N, which was a name that sounded just as sweet as the lady to whom it was attached.

“Hello, everybody! I’m Y/N!” The girl said, reaching out her hand to shake one of the poets’. Truth be told, it had been quite some time since any one of the boys had been in close contact with a woman; so they found themselves to be quite the martians in the situation. It took a few moments before one of the poets-- Neil Perry-- could offer his hand and shake hers. “I’m Neil! We’re friends of Meeks and his classmates from Welton.” The boy swore that he felt a spark as their fingertips touched, but he tossed the feeling aside; along with the apparition that he saw of a faint glimmer in Y/N’s eyes.

✎ The boys instantly took her in to their little group, and they all fell in love with her personality-- which was a platonic statement of course; but Neil Perry found this to be otherwise as he actually began falling into love with the new girl.

✎ He loved the way she cared for her new friends, the way she projected her personality through the clothes she wore, and all of the little smiles she gave him.

✎ With every beam and twinkle that she delivered, Y/N found herself to be falling for Neil as well.

✎ He provided a feeling for her that made the blacks of her eyes expand and butterflies to quiver inside-- which was the very same one Neil had felt when he first laid his eyes on her.

✎ She had been a fantastic addition to the band of poets, and the boys could not have had it any other way.

Despite the summer coming into fruition, the poets did not fail to meet up in their little cave every once in a while to read poetry, discuss girls, and laugh. The first meeting of that summer was simply like any other. “Guys, what do we think of Y/N?” Meeks questioned. A clamor of answers that ranged between “I think she’s great,” and “Do you think Mrs. Meeks has any more people in her house like Y/N?” echoed in the dark cave. Clearly, the boys had favored Y/N; but certainly not to the point where they’d be infatuated with her. “Yeah, I think she’s nice. She’s really pretty too,” Knox added. “Woah there Knoxious,” Charlie replied, expelling out a chortle. “I don’t think Chris would like to hear that. And besides, she looks more like she’s Neil’s type than yours.” Charlie’s words weren’t incorrect, but it was needless to say that Neil had strongly agreed with that statement.

✎ Over the summer, they would all begin to get to know each other better.

✎ The poets eventually introduced Y/N to the intricate realm of poetry, and she wholeheartedly fell in love with every line that was recited.

✎ They enjoyed every moment of their fleeting time together. Of course, there would be times where the boys would get into small fights and bickers.

✎ Pitts would always be yelling at Charlie for taking an ungodly amount of time in the shower, while Charlie would be yelling back about how Pitts always seemed to inhale the food that Mrs. Meeks provided for them before he himself could even take one bite.

✎ Cameron did his best to do some summer reading at night, but he found it quite hard as his room was beside Knox’s room, and Knox would spend hours on end talking to Chris over the phone.

“Oh, Chris. How do I love thee?” Knox sighed, lacing the telephone cords in between his fingers. “That’s the title of a poem we learned in Mr. Keating’s class. It reminds me of how lovely you are. Of course, she’s not as pretty as you are,” Knox’s giggles not only erupted through the phone; but it travelled through the walls as well, disrupting Cameron from the climax of his novel. “We get it, Knox! You’re a romantic poet! Now why don’t you go tell Chris about how you finished with a D minus in English!”

✎ While all of the little squabbles took place, they hadn’t even noticed the slight change in Neil and Y/N’s behavior.

✎ Y/N seemed to be keeping to herself more often, while Neil appeared to have possessed an undying smile on his face around the poets; particularly in the mornings when everyone gets up early except for him and Y/N.

✎ Little did they know, Y/N’s room had been vacant for the past few days since the arguments began-- which was approximately three weeks after the boys had arrived to the Meeks’ residence; and Neil seemed to be giggling in his room every night when the rest were asleep.

✎ In the duration of those three weeks, Neil had become more familiar with Y/N than any of the other poets had been.

✎ They’d walk along the nearby river every morning, discuss poetry in the late afternoons, and eventually fall asleep in each other’s arms at night.

“How long have you been living here?” Neil inquired, peering into Y/N’s eyes. His vision didn’t have to stretch too far as his face had only been a breath away from Y/N’s. The pair laid together under the warm covers of Neil’s bed with their legs entangled in one another’s and their hands interlocked, talking about anything and everything that came to their minds. “It’s been two years since Mrs. Meeks took me in,” She replied, gazing over Neil’s chiseled face. “In the whole time I’ve been here, I think you’re the most interesting thing that’s happened to me,” Y/N added, beaming up at Neil. Hearing her words, Neil slowly leaned his lips onto Y/N’s forehead, giving her an endearing kiss. She too had been the most interesting thing to happen to Neil in a long time.

✎ For each and every day that they were together, Neil wrote love poems.

✎ His poems revolved around his time with Y/N and included detail of all sorts; such as how colors appeared to be more bright and more vivid when he was with her and how lovelier the birds had sounded in the morning during their walks.

"My love,

The luminosity of the golden sun

does not compare to the radiance

of your glowing skin.

In this air full of morning dew,

the most beautiful scent in the air

is still you.

The sounds we hear of the melodious

birds are all because of your presence,

and they sing only for your beauty.

I look into your eyes and I see nature

reflected back at me; but it is much more

pleasant to perceive than if I were to do so

through my own set of eyes.

Though the morning lasts for a mere set of hours,

My fascination for you can go for as long as

this smooth river flows.

✎ Neil felt embarrassed about being so infatuated with Y/N, so he kept his poems hidden for the time being.

✎ Somehow, the boys had failed to notice Neil and Y/N’s constant disappearance.

✎ Although, they’d make little remarks from time to time that ran along the lines of “Ooh, Neil found a muse!” and “Y/N definitely likes somebody here. It’s probably me.”

✎ The last comment came from Charlie, which later earned him a smack on the head from Neil.

✎ So, Neil and Y/N did their best to keep their relationship hidden throughout the summer.

✎ The two were rather domestic in their relationship; they did all of the typical-couple activities that everyone else had done.

✎ To anyone else it would have been rather common to witness, but to them it was simply extraordinary being with one another.

It had been a scenic day at the river that morning. The beauty of the nature surrounding it had been ordinarily pleasing to Y/N; but all of its best qualities were magnified for Neil as his hand was in hers and the only thing he could smell was her fragrance. He had been quite nervous for the entire morning as he promised himself the night before that he would finally gather the courage to say those three magic words he’d been imagining to say for quite some time. Unbeknownst to him, Y/N had been thinking the same and had been visualizing how she would say it at that moment for the past few hours since. Just when the cascading waters began to relax and the chirping of the birds started to quiet down, the pair stopped on their trail and those three words were finally professed by Neil in a sudden manner while Y/N had spoken the same in a clear and gentle tone. They looked into each other’s eyes, recognizing the same look of love and eventually realizing what was said. As it was acknowledged, the two lovers simply smiled at each other and kept walking along; their hearts now beating on the same rhythm and their minds thinking of nothing but one another.

✎ Time to time, they would go up to the attic and listen to the music from Mrs. Meeks’ old gramophone, caressing one another as they slowly dance along to the lyrics of Ella Fitzgerald’s songs.

✎ Neil would always sneak a flower out of Mrs. Meeks’ rose garden and leave it on Y/N’s bedside table for her to wake up to.

✎ One of Y/N’s ways of communicating her love would be recommending books to Neil that she thinks is encompassed with his personality. Since then, Neil’s library had enlarged to a great extent.

✎ There would also be some occasions where one of them-- mostly Neil-- would get a little cheeky and try to express their love for the other out in the open.

“Eat up, boys! You know there’s plenty more of where that came from, so don’t be afraid to dig in!” Mrs. Meeks endorsed, setting down a bowl of mashed potatoes. With a jubilant ‘thank you’, everyone at the table promptly began to tuck into the mouthwatering cuisine. The boys soon found themselves distracted with the heavenly taste of Mrs. Meeks’ cooking; and Neil took this opportunity to covertly sneak his right hand onto Y/N’s thigh under the table. A scarlet blush crept its way up to Y/N’s cheek as she sent Neil a glare. Though her eyes expressed the message of “Not here!”, every other signal in her body sent the message of ‘Yes, Please’ to a very triumphant Neil.

✎ The summer inevitably came to an end and the boys were forced to return to Welton, much to their dismay.

✎ They couldn’t stand ending their summer; and they especially couldn’t stand leaving their new friend behind while the rest of them stayed together.

“Oh God, How are we supposed to leave this beautiful girl all alone in this big house?!” Charlie pleaded, theatrically dropping down to his knees and shouting out loud to the heavens. “It’s all just too emotional for us,” Pitts added as he went along with his friend’s act, his head bowing down to the ground in grief as he placed a comforting hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Just take me with her, God! Let me be with Y/N at her all-girls school!”

✎ Despite all of the inconveniences they put upon Y/N, the poets really did leave a mark on her. These boys showed her a new way of life-- she knows what ‘Carpe Diem’ means, and she knows how to seize her days because of them.

✎ Of course, Neil had a harder time coming into terms with their departure more than anyone else.

✎ Leaving the Meeks’ residence meant that he was leaving Y/N, which was something that he hadn’t prepared himself for.

“I’m not ready to leave you,” Neil confessed. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. After the individual hugs and goodbyes Y/N had given to the rest of the poets, the ill-fated time had come when she had to bid her own farewell to her lover. Neil believed that though their time was short and fleeting, it truly had been something special and something that he’ll never forget. Y/N was his first love, his first muse, his first everything; and no amount of riches could ever sum up to the prominence of that. Y/N placed her hand on Neil’s face, stroking away his tears with her thumb as she felt her eyes begin to swell up as well. “I’ll write to you every day, Neil.” Naturally, Y/N was on the brink of tears as well. She couldn’t bear to leave Neil after everything he’s shown her. It feels like she’s known him forever, yet everything felt so new and exciting with him. She loved him too much, and she knows she’ll continue to love him long after.

✎ Neil was afraid that she would forget about what they had soon after she had left, so he decided to give her all of the poems he had written about her.

✎ As her hands clasped the thick set of parchment, the tears she had been trying so hard to conceal had all poured out, staining the paper and her hands.

“Neil… these are beautiful,” She croaked. Her eyes skimmed over every title and date, realizing that there had been a poem for each and every splendid day that they had been together. “You’re beautiful, Y/N. That’s why I wrote these,” Neil corrected. “Everything I love about you is in these poems, and all of the love I have for you is written in each letter. I just don’t want you to forget about me while we’re apart.” The absurdity of Neil’s words made Y/N chuckle softly before she stepped forward and linked her hands around Neil’s neck, reducing the space between their lips. “I love you, Neil. You’re always going to be in my mind and you’ll always have my heart in the little pocket of your Welton blazer.”

✎ Y/N felt truly fortunate to have met Neil. This summer had come as quite a surprise for her-- she did not expect to fall in love so soon and with such an extraordinary person like Neil Perry. He was everything she’d ever looked for and he gave everything she deserved.

✎ Even though the bright days of the summer had ended and the early falling leaves of the autumn was yet to arrive, the change was of no concern as the only thing that mattered was what had been consistent-- and for Y/N and Neil, the thing that stood still for the two of them despite all odds was each other.

dedicated to these lovely people!! @mybabysweetascanbe @disagreeingpoets @catflowerbean @galaxyrhytm @nananostalgic @ughgclden @towriteabetterlife @neilsemeraldsweater @yourpal @willowestelle

#dead poets society #dead poets #dps #dead poets society fanfiction #dps fanfiction #neil perry #neil perry x reader #neil perry fanfiction #neil perry fluff #neil perry angst #richard cameron #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #todd anderson #steven meeks #gerard pitts #jemi-writes #jemi-requested #jemi-dps

[kmorales1]

Office Affairs

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: Explicit (Anyone under 18, go away, thanks.)

Warnings: Uh, unprotected sex(this is fiction please wrap it before you tap it), i'm bad at this. One(1) mention of spit(whoops).

A note: Hey, so I wrote this in an hour and (maybe) a half. This entire thing is purely based off my intense yearning for Javi the past few days(more like weeks). Also he's incredibly hard to write for so I hope I was able to capture his character. This is also my first time writing smut, let alone posting it. Be gentle with your critics lmao. It might not be entirely cohesive but I tried really hard but anyway this is what my brain popped out.

Javier Peña is the type of guy to take you home for a quick fuck, cuddle you like he’s in love with you, and then leave an hour later without barely a glance in your direction. You know this, you’d heard the whispers about him in the embassy when you were making your way to the filing room, or to the break room for your afternoon lunch.

And you believed them.

The first night Javier took you home you were 99% sure that you’d get the best fuck of your life out of him and then he’d be gone before you could even ask him to stay the night. And let’s be honest you wanted him to stay the night. To feel him pressed against you, his broad chest against your back, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. God, you yearned for that man. Or maybe just a man, it’d been a while.

You weren’t entirely wrong though, you did get the best fuck of your life out of him, but you also found the Javier that was sprawled in your bed, a lit cigarette between his lips, wasn’t the same man he was in the daylight of the office.

He was quieter, soft spoken, almost open.

The first few times he had stayed for a bit after to lay pressed beside you talking about work and you had even managed to pull a few details about his life back home. A few. But those few details only left you craving more, and who could blame you. He was intoxicating. You hadn’t been expecting it and now that you saw it, you wanted more.

“You know, you’re different like this.”

You had practically whispered the words to him, a little scared you might somehow push him back into the person he was in the light of day. But he only offered you something almost like a smile and leaned forward to press his lips to yours.

“I think, maybe i’m just different with you.”

He didn’t elaborate or say anything more, and you didn’t say anything in response. Cause what could you say? He’d pressed you open into the mattress a few minutes later his head between your thighs. Taking you apart slowly whispering filthy things as he brought you over the edge.

Your heart clenched as he laid his head on your thigh afterwards, his hair an unruly mess.

You wanted him like this all the time.

You weren’t naïve,though. So you didn’t think much of the way he laid beside you, or the things he said to you. He could feed any pretty woman words to make them feel special, and no matter how much you wanted to be different, something told you weren’t.

That became apparent when you started seeing less of Javier and hearing more about his informants and the other women he would bring home some nights. You weren’t mad, nor jealous, but you weren’t exactly fine either.

Coming home from a late night at work you had passed him and who you assumed was one of those said people that were whispered about. She was laughing at something, his arm locked tight around her waist guiding her down the hall. His face didn’t match hers but he certainly didn’t look unhappy, and when you crossed their path trying hurriedly to get into your apartment before seeing something you didn’t want to, he barely spared you a side glance.

Fine.

You stopped giving him the attention he silently would ask for in the daytime. His gaze burning hot on your body as you silently sipped your tea in the corner of the break room. Or the way he would brush your shoulder as he passed your desk. It’s almost laughable how he could seemingly seek your attention out one minute and then act like you didn’t exist the next. You didn’t play into it and things were fine.

Until they weren’t.

“You’re ignoring me, princesa.”

He’s got you cornered in the filing room his broad form practically towering over you. This is the closest you’ve been to him since you’d seen him that night, or the occasional time he would purposeful bump into you in the office.

“Hello Javi,” You barely managed to hold onto the papers in your hands. His close proximity to you slightly knocking you off center. You weren’t entirely lying when you said things were fine, but him being so close and the smell of him nearly overpowering was reminding you of the parts that were exactly not fine.

“I’m sorry i’ve been so busy.”

That’s a lie. You know it’s a lie, he knows it’s a lie. Things had been incredibly slow the past couple of weeks. Pablo in hiding from a recent raid that hit a little too close to home.

“I think we both know that’s a lie,”

And oh, is his voice a little breathier.

You curse yourself quietly, because you’re supposed to be putting this behind you. This man only sought you out when he felt like it when he was bored. But the way he’s pressed so close to you, if you just leaned forward a tiny bit. His eyes are skimming over your face, like he’s taking in the changes he’s missed in the past few weeks he hasn’t seen you.

There’s a tilt of his head and a small push forward and his lips are a near inch away from yours.

“Don’t you miss me, baby?”

Your knees nearly buckle.

He called you that exactly one time before. A rough raid with Carrillo had him stumbling into your apartment at nearly 1 am, luckily you had just gotten home from work and were still awake. His shirt was damp with sweat, the color of it slightly darker than the original pink, a stray mark of blood on his face- you later found out wasn’t his. He’d been needy, the way he had pressed you into the counter in your kitchen, fucked you within an inch of your life it felt like. Growling filthy things into your ear, praising you, before pulling you roughly to the floor(his back didn’t forgive him for days after that) and sliding you onto him. You’d rode him hard and fast nearly sobbing your release. He’d came up to cradle you to him. Whispering baby and your name reverently into your hair. You didn’t talk about it, what had made him so frantic. You had to practically peel yourself away from him and when you did it had broken the spell. He was up, fixing his jeans, kissing your forehead and then he was gone out the door before you could even get words out.

Javier whispering your name brings you back to the present, his eyes are locked on your lips and fuck-

Your fingers are dropping the papers and urgently sliding up his back to curl in his hair, pulling him the last bit of distance to bring his mouth to yours.

You’ll tell him later that you don’t forgive him for that debacle with the woman he brought home with him and you’ll also tell him the other things that have been pent up for the past almost month. And if he doesn’t like it oh well, but god right now all you want is to be fucked by this infuriating man.

“Javi-“

Your plea is broken as his tongue swipes the inside of your mouth his hands holding firmly to your hips.

“Javi please”

He shushes you, his leg coming to press between your thighs, right against where you want him the most and you nearly keen at the relief it gives. His thigh flexes and applies just the pressure to send your hips sliding forward.

“Quiet, princesa you don’t want anyone to hear,”

Oh fuck. You’re at work right now. You’re at work fuck. You’re at work. You remind yourself again.

One more time you’re at work-

But no one really comes back here. (that’s a lie)

His hands are guiding your hips roughly, and you’re practically riding his thigh. The feeling is too much and not enough all at once.

“Anything, Javi please.”

You’re breathless whimper has him growling under his breath as he pushes you deeper into the cabinets. His hands tear your skirt out of the way, pushing your panties aside before dipping his fingers into your center.

“Baby, fuck you’re so wet,”

His fingers leave you momentarily to slide into his mouth. The hum that leaves him is enough to push a wave of slick out of you, and you eagerly grip any part of him you can reach.

“Is this for me? You have missed me,”

The smug look on his face makes you want to roll your eyes, and you would if he wasn’t currently sliding his fingers back into you and curling them just like that-

“Fuck! Javi,”

The hand that is grasping your hips leaves to hurriedly slap a hand over your mouth. His eyes are burning into yours his teeth bared slightly.

“I said quiet, do you want our coworkers seeing how much a slut you are for me?”

He licks a line up the side of your neck before coming to suckle and bite lightly on your ear.

“Youd like it wouldn’t you?”

You’re practically dripping at his words, the squelching noise from his fingers fucking into you roughly is nearly obscene. You’re so close you could cry, if he could just give a little more.

“More,”

It’s a desperate plea for anything and it’s slightly muffled by his hand but he gets the message. His hand drops and you’re caught off guard by him roughly undoing his belt and pushing his pants down enough for his cock to spring free.

You nearly moan at the sight, long and thick with precum gathering at the tip. Fuck it’s been so long you want to taste. But he’s got you shoved back up against the nearest filing cabinet, his hand back over your mouth as he nudges his cock against your clit.

You keen at the slight pressure it gives before you jerk at the feeling of him sliding into you fully his hips flush to yours.

“Fuck, hermosa,” his teeth are clenched tight the cords of his neck strained as he whispers praises into your ear.

"Baby you’re so tight, missed you.”

You don’t even have time to process the last part before he’s almost urgently pulling out to slam back in. You want to worry about the noises that are being made but just as the thought comes in it’s gone. He’s fucking into you hard, his hand still covering your mouth tightly, trying hard to mask the moans that are escaping you. The slight jingle of his belt buckle as he roughly pounds into you shouldn’t be as erotic as it is. His head is pressed to your shoulder and you can feel the air from his mouth as he pants.

You’re so close you can practically feel yourself dripping down your thighs. One of your hands is curled tightly in his hair and the other snakes down your body to rub between your clit. Your breath is coming out harsh from your nose meeting the warm skin of his hand and god the thought of his hand over your mouth as he fucks you is so much you think you might come now.

But then his hand slips away and he’s sliding it in your hair to tilt your head back. Baring his teeth he gives one particularly hard thrust before demanding.

“Open.”

Immediately your mouth snaps open and he spits.

"Fucking swallow it."

You do, quickly before you lift eagerly to meet his mouth, teeth clinking harshly.

“Javi i’m gonna come-“

He’s pulling back, whispering urgently in your ear .

"Do it baby, do it now. Cum for me."

You’re pushing to meet his thrusts hurriedly chasing the orgasm you feel tightening in your stomach.

“I said now,” The harshness in his voice sends you reeling. You keen, a little too loudly to be in your office building, the thread snapping as you tumble over the edge. Your cunt clenching hard around him. Somewhere through the haze you feel Javier bite roughly into your shoulder and his cock jerk inside of you as he cums.

His hands are sliding around you to pull you into him his face meeting your neck as he pants, his cock softening inside of you. There’s a pleasant sounding hum from him as you card your fingers through his hair your nails scratching lazily at his scalp. The room is humid and sticky you suddenly come back to yourself, sinking down from your post orgasm high.

“Javier,”

The change in your voice has him pulling back to look at you before his eyes widen in understanding.

Yes, basking in the after sex glow isn’t the best idea at the moment.

“We can talk after work okay?”

There’s a nod from him before he’s sliding out of you with a hiss and tucking himself back into his jeans. And there’s a lot to talk about, he isn’t off the hook, and you’ve got to think it over because you know you have technically no right to even be upset.

You’re adjusting your skirt when you feel him cup your cheek.

“I really did miss you.”

Its said quietly, almost like it’s a secret.

And momentarily, you forget everything you need to be confused about with him.

"I missed you too."

#javier peña x reader #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x you #narcos fanfiction #narcos #javier peña smut #javier peña imagine #i literally wrote this while eating cinnamon toast crunch out the box lmfaoo #just a girl her laptop and a box of cereal #feedback is appreciated mwuah

[icequeenbae]

Girl, I’m Your Catnip (m) | BBH

Pairing: wolf!Baekhyun x caracal!Reader

Hybrid AU, slice of life, some fluff, PWP, smut

Warnings: altered mental state (in a way?), Baek snapped, rough sex, unprotected sex, overstimulation, knotting, cross-breeding?

Word Count: ~3.4k

Summary: You’d been pretty stressed at work lately, so your boyfriend decided to bring something special to help you unwind.

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Author’s note: I’m back with... Catnip. Seriously. I’m not even a cat person 😅 This was something quick and out of the blue. But I really enjoy hybrid aus, and this is definitely not the first or the last one I’ve written… It’s quite different from my other stories so far (pls read the warnings). Expect minimal plot (minimal… for me) and lots of feral sex unconventional stress relief lmao P.S. Thanks to @baekshoney​ for being quick at reading through when I come at her with these, even when they’re out of her comfort zone <3

It’d been weeks since you came home early enough to really hang out with Baekhyun. The closing phase of your project lasted longer than anticipated, and it was taking a great toll on you, both physically and mentally. Working long hours was one thing, but the atmosphere was not the greatest either. A couple cutthroat colleagues kept compromising the team’s integrity, creating additional stress for the hardworking and meticulous people like you. There was literally no time to deal with the internal drama while you had a deadline approaching fast.

Luckily enough, your significant other was most understanding during this time. Running you a bubble bath to soak in for twenty minutes after especially tough days, feeding you delicious late-night dinners… Or holding you in a tight lock of his arms when you broke down right at the threshold from exhaustion and nerves. He went as far as doing all the chores and grocery shopping by himself, which left you feeling rather guilty for not being able to reciprocate his care. What kind of shitty girlfriend were you? The constant nagging of the inner voice in the back of your head was making the anxiety grow.

Although Baekhyun assured you time and time again that it was fine, you kept insisting that you were going to make it up to him. Which nearly made you cry on the spot. Your usual way of giving back was making him a nice dinner, organizing a cozy movie night with his favorite snacks, or even bringing your favorite almond oil to give him a relaxing massage. All of those scenarios inevitably ended with the two of you tangled up in bed till indecent hours of the morning, having a whole lot of steamy sex. These days, however, you were unable to recuperate and loosen up enough to do any of it. You’d not been intimate with your partner for at least three weeks, and while he was a complete sweetheart (he usually was) about it, that made you feel even more burdensome to him.

So much so, that you promised your boyfriend to get drunk the first night following submission of the presentation, to take the edge off, and simply allow him to do whatever he wanted with you. Baekhyun insisted that he didn’t have much use of you while shitfaced, and would rather have you well-rested and enjoying the process. Still, you were set on having no more delays, so you informed him that you’d finally be free from the project this Friday, and he should be pouring champagne for you as you walk through the door. Taking his previous comments into consideration, you ruled out the hard liquor and decided to only get heavily tipsy. Being horribly drunk did not seem like an arousing option you should be presenting your overly patient and caring boyfriend with.

Come Friday, as you finally submitted your presentation, you texted Baekhyun at least two hours in advance that you were definitely on track to spend the evening with him. Fortunately for you, he was going to come home a bit late, so you even had a head start to do all of the necessary preparations. That’s to say, you were stuck in the bathroom for over an hour and a half. You were ecstatic to finally have enough time to groom properly – your caracal nature always called for it. Pleased with how smooth and refreshed your skin looked after the long-awaited pampering, you exited the bathroom to go pick your poison for tonight.

You were so ready to get your drinks and relinquish all control to Baekhyun that you got startled when you saw him already heading towards you.

‘Oh! I didn’t hear you come in,’ you chirped.

‘Are you already drunk?’ He sniffed the air, shaking his head. ‘I guess not. You smell good,’ he smiled as you reached him and wrapped your arms around his neck with all the feline grace you had in you.

‘I really missed you,’ you purred as his warm hand settled on the small of your back comfortably.

His scent made you want to rub your face on him, to get more of it on you. How terribly you must’ve missed him! In the beginning, it took you a bit to get used to the notorious ‘smell of a dog’ inevitably coming off of him. But you’d strangely grown to like it a lot, despite being the very whimsical wild cat hybrid that you were. Now, however, you’d stayed away for a while, and the scent lingering on his skin seemed so pleasant that you wanted to cover your entire body in it. But then again, it’d been so long that the desire to pounce him mixed with the fear of not being able to do well. What if you took longer to get ready now? Or to come? What if you couldn’t make him come? Surely you needed to take good care of him to repay all the weeks he’d been an angel for your sake.

‘I missed having you all to myself too, honey,’ he smiled crookedly, leaning in to give you a kiss. ‘You seem a bit tense,’ he noted when you swerved your short tail with slight agitation. ‘If it’s about sex, I told you we don’t have t-’

‘I want to!’ You quickly interrupted. ‘I don’t want to wait anymore, Baekhyunie. Just a little help to relax my stressed mind and body is all I need. Then we’ll get to it.’

Baekhyun sighed, shaking his head, allowing you to pull him back into your bedroom.

‘Doesn’t your head always hurt after you drink?’

‘It’s worth it,’ you replied firmly and turned to him. ‘Let’s just treat it as a celebration. I’ll bring the bottle here.’

He grabbed your wrist swiftly, before you took another step towards the door.

‘I-’ he looked away, tail stilling as he was considering something. ‘I have another idea, actually. You trust me, right?’

Giving him a curious look, you nodded. Of course, you trusted him; more than anyone in the world, more than yourself at times. Although he was a ‘big bad wolf’ (still, only bad enough to eat the last slice of his absolute favorite Hawaiian pizza while you weren’t looking), and your relationship wasn’t very ‘likely’… He’d managed to charm you, and you’d been together for a long time since. And your wolf’s embrace made you feel so tiny and secure, that you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else at this point, all initial reservations evaporated.

‘We can try something else. Something that shouldn’t be as toxic as drinking, but also have you release the tension and relax. I got it on my way here,’ he began, making you even more interested in what it was.

Taking notice of your stare, he continued.

‘Um- I just need to be sure that you want this. Your unbiased decision. Like I said, we don’t have to f-’

‘Don’t feel bad about it, making it up to you will make me happy,’ you raised an open palm in front of his chest when he tried to protest. ‘If it can help me make you feel good, whatever it is, I trust you. I missed being… close to you.’

He chewed on his lip, and nodded.

‘Alright. I’ll use the bathroom for a sec, and you can get on the bed, okay?’

Somewhat surprised that he didn’t tell you what exactly he was planning, you complied, lying down on your belly to wait for him. It took him a few unbearably long minutes, during which you stared the door down, tail swinging impatiently. He made minimal sound after the water was turned off, so you had no idea what was happening in there.

‘Babe, need some help in there?’ You offered and sat up just as the door flew open.

He emerged from the bathroom shirtless, sporting nothing but sweatpants. His skin was shimmering slightly, and you licked your lips at the sight of his lean torso. All of the events and worries of the past few weeks were instantly forgotten.

‘Took you long enough,’ you mumbled grumpily. ‘What were you doing in there?’

He tilted his head to the side, a textbook sign of puppy confusion.

‘Do you… notice anything?’

You pouted, unsure as to what you were supposed to notice. He looked the same. A bit freshened up and half-undressed, but still the same.

‘Ah- maybe it doesn’t work on you,’ he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, halting an arm’s length away. ‘My bad.’

‘What doesn’t wo-’ as he turned around to supposedly walk back to the bathroom, it hit you.

Oh, it hit you, indeed.

Before you could think, you gripped his wrist to prevent him from moving away.

‘W-what- is-’ you stuttered, pulse suddenly escalating.

Baekhyun gulped at the sight of your dilated, almost shaking pupils. You tugged him closer after you moved up to the edge of the bed. The scent that penetrated your nostrils almost took you out.

‘What is that?’ You finally managed, swallowing the saliva that was rapidly collecting in your mouth.

Jerking him forward, you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck.

‘Do you like it?’

You didn’t answer, too busy running your tongue over his collarbone with a long groan. Without even noticing the death grip you had on him, you dragged him onto the bed as you swallowed his scent and tasted his delectable skin, going increasingly mad from the sweetness.

‘What is this, Baekhyun,’ you sobbed, covering his chest in frenzied kisses, while the burning arousal made your insides constrict. ‘Oh god- I want all of you. On me. And- in me. Oh fuck,’ you were almost feverish as you pushed him in the chest to get him to lie back, and ripped his sweatpants off without a second thought.

‘Y/N, slow down,’ your boyfriend warned, and you didn’t care.

You wanted that taste in your mouth again, the one that was all Baekhyun, but sweeter, more intense. Nibbling on the gentle skin under his belly button, you quickly found your way down to his balls. Whimpering at the addicting taste, you took one in your mouth, playing with it diligently, sucking and licking, while your boyfriend stirred underneath and reached for your hair to get it out of the way. Your tongue on his most sensitive spots quickly made him harden, and you waited no more than necessary to stuff his entire cock in your mouth.

At that, you both moaned.

Frantically bobbing your head, you sucked harshly on it, making him thicken further. You shoved it in your mouth almost aggressively, choking on him, chasing the feeling that lingered in your throat after your nose met his smooth skin. He prepared too.

Swallowing around him, you groaned as you kept moving your head, spit mixing with precum and collecting at the corners of your mouth.

‘Fuck, kitten- you’d be mute tomorrow if you keep at it,’ Baekhyun gritted, pulling you off of his dick by the hair.

You wailed, like a cat being dragged by its tail, and clawed at his thigh for interrupting. His pained grunt went unnoticed since you immediately moved on to exploring the taut skin of his stomach all the way up to his pecs. Rubbing your face onto it, tonguing his abs and his nipples, you shuddered as the dreamy haze of desire surrounded you like mist.

It would’ve definitely been scary had Baekhyun not prepared in advance. Still, seeing you this out of your mind for him was nothing like he expected.

‘Please fuck me,’ you muttered into his sternum after ripping the last of your clothes off. ‘Scent me, come inside me, knot me. Make me raw. I don’t care. I want you,’ you sobbed, gnawing on his shoulder impatiently as his arms pulled you closer.

‘Don’t fret, you know I’m gonna take good care of you, baby,’ you jolted as his fingers slid between your wet lips to check.

Your arousal was already dripping out, so Baekhyun mercifully spared you any additional foreplay, simply sinking you down on his cock.

‘Agh!’ Your inner walls instantly contracted around him. ‘Yes, yes,’ you mouthed into his neck, licking at it as he bottomed out again and again.

Unable to hold back, you responded to his movement by slamming your pelvis down onto his repeatedly, with enough force to hurt, so he had to brace you by the hips to prevent you from injuring yourself. The smell of your overwhelming arousal made his mind blurry too, so he kept watching you with heavy-lidded eyes while you bounced on him like your life depended on it.

Scratching at his skin, you kept whining for your boyfriend to get closer, to scent you. He finally gave in, biting down on your neck gently to distract you and then flipping you onto your back promptly. Ignoring the feral hiss that escaped your mouth, he leaned forward to grant you full skin to skin contact while his hips continued jerking in and out of you.

Your mind went blank from the building pleasure. It was filling your entire being with desperate anticipation, the taste, the smell, all of the sensory feedback was elevated. Only your vision seemed impaired since you couldn’t blink away the thickening red fog of lust.

The divine smell was all over your skin now, and Baekhyun’s pelvis was almost glued to yours, grazing over your clit with every sway of his hips. He growled at how slick it felt between your bodies, and how deliciously lewd the sounds of him fucking you were. He knew the essential oil he used didn’t have much effect on him, only felines could fall under its spell. But he hadn’t been intimate with you for a long while now, and, frankly, he’d never seen you like this before. You were absolutely wild underneath him, clawing at his back like an angry cat, moaning and whining so loudly, it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight. He’d never heard you sound like this, so irrepressible and untamed, and it was incredibly sexy. In a way, it triggered his more primal side to take control.

Suddenly feeling the power he had over you, he angled his hips and rammed into you, skin slapping your puffy lips repeatedly as you cried out in despair.

‘I’m not gonna stop,’ he leaned in and growled almost animalistically into your ear. ‘Before I ruin your little hole. You’ve been on the edge there for a while, haven’t you, kitten?’

Reveling in the mewl you responded with, he slid two fingers into your mouth and kept talking.

‘All helpless and needy underneath me. Entirely at my mercy,’ he pressed down on your tongue, making your throat relax to accommodate. ‘Do you enjoy being destroyed?’

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your orgasm hit. A muffled scream drowned out by his palm almost made his own release hit him, but Baekhyun had other plans.

Pulling out for a few seconds, he wiped away the sweat that was dripping from his forehead to his eyes, and rolled your limp body over. Allowing you a few seconds to cool down, he gripped his rock-hard flesh at the base and landed a sharp slap onto your supple ass cheek.

‘Baek,’ you squealed, registering the shuffling behind. ‘Wait- no,’ protesting weakly, as he got on top of you again. You took notice of the way his dick was nestled snugly between your bodies and guessed his intention.

‘You didn’t think we were done, did you, baby?’ He gave your ear a long lick, causing you to shiver.

‘B- Baekhyunie,’ you puled pathetically, still too overwhelmed. ‘I can’t-’

The sentence was drowned out by his growl. Your state pushed him too far to just stop now.

‘You’ll comply and come again, all while I load you up, got it?’ He slipped back inside, testing your body’s response.

As expected, you were still soaked from your previous activities, so he ignored the instant jolt of your body. It wasn’t something you did often, overstimulation, but your partner knew he could make you come like this if he hurried up, so that was exactly his plan.

‘No,’ you whined capriciously, your cat instincts making you protest against the intrusion while too sensitive. Your tail patted against Baekhyun’s side relentlessly, although most of it was trapped between you.

‘I can make you,’ he rolled his hips, knowing that in a few minutes you would beg him to make you come again, even though it seemed more like torture now.

‘Ah it hurts!’ You cried out, latching onto his thigh, claws out.

‘Oh, so you’re gonna be like that?’ He growled lower, making you hiss in a natural response and draw blood with your sharp nails.

He licked a sensitive spot between your shoulder blades as a warning.

‘Don’t make me do this,’ he snarled, but you kept trying to shove him off of you. ‘Okay, you fucking got it.’

Baekhyun snapped, locking his sharp teeth on your withers – the magical spot on your spine, just below the neck; your feline heritage. Instantly, your fingers grew weak and you whined feebly as his hips moved again. He picked up his pace gradually, readjusting your thighs to have more of a room to increase amplitude. You trembled helplessly, pinned down his weight and wailing into the pillow as his determined ministrations had the anticipation build once again. With the discomfort you initially had subsiding, you’d given up on the attempts to escape your lover.

Feeling the tight pulsation around his flesh, Baekhyun released your skin and started licking over the teeth marks right away.

‘That’s more like it,’ he hummed in your ear as you whined pathetically, feeling your eyes water from the intensity of the impending release. ‘I’m going to fill you up. Yes- come like this,’ he urged, intertwining his fingers with yours, and you could not disobey.

‘Baek-’ you squealed, your entire body shuddering underneath him as your muscles contracted once again from a mind-blowing wave of pleasure.

He delivered a few more quick, shallow thrusts before his hips stuttered and he moaned lowly as thick warmth flooded your insides.

You felt full and content, the fogginess of your mind clearing up slowly. Belatedly you realized that he actually knotted you – something he didn’t do often since you weren’t the same species (or trying for a baby at this point). But it felt good, and your walls were still pulsating around him, electricity jolting through you with every gentle lick of Baekhyun’s tongue over the spot where his teeth had left a reddish mark.

‘Mhm,’ you hummed, and Baekhyun shifted his weight to his elbows.

‘Sorry, I got a bit carried away,’ he admitted, planting soft kisses along your spine.

‘It was great,’ you yawned, noting casually. ‘You knotted me.’

‘Yeah, it will deflate soon,’ he rubbed his face between your shoulder blades affectionately, and you squirmed. ‘Does anything hurt? How are you feeling?’

‘Um- no, nothing hurts. At least not yet,’ you chucked, assuming that the soreness would come tomorrow. ‘I’m just exhausted. And still a bit… dazed?’

‘Yeah, I think it’s all evaporated from my skin. Or licked off,’ he snickered. ‘Still smell the remnants of it in the air, but to me it’s not as prominent as your arousal.’

‘What was it, actually?’

‘You didn’t get it?’ Baekhyun laughed, finally slipping out and rolling off to the side, allowing you to glance at him. ‘Catnip. I got a little roll-on thingy with the essential oil. Didn’t realize it’s that strong though.’

‘Are you serious?’ You smacked him on the top of the head in a very feline way. ‘That thing is like a drug for cats!’

‘It’s safe. You were under supervision, and it has no lasting effects. And it’s not addictive,’ he clarified. ‘I consulted.’

‘Always prepared, aren’t you?’ Smiling, you shoved him in the chest. ‘I can’t believe you drugged me with catnip to fuck me. Tsk, what a jerk you are,’ you purred, scolding him.

‘Don’t act like we’re not doing this again soon,’ Baekhyun smirked, planting a quick kiss to the tip of your nose.

‘I’m so going to get you for this, Baek. I will!’ You threatened, allowing him to sneakily drag his tongue over your lower lip in a playful apology lick before you pushed him away to yawn again.

‘I’ll be waiting,’ he chuckled and moved closer again to stroke your back tenderly. ‘Just have some rest first, kitten.’

A/N: Whew, my first hybrid au posted 🤗 I hope you guys love the multi-faceted wolf!Baekhyunie haha Let me know whether he was different from what you’d expected. And I’m still encouraging you to share your thoughts on what kind of aus / tropes you enjoy 😊 It’s always interesting to find out what my readers like. Thank you for sticking around and welcome to the blog if you’re new!

#baekhyun smut #hybrid!baek #icequeenbae fics #baekhyun x reader #exowritersnet #wolf!baek #baekhyun x you #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #Girl Im Your Catnip

[sunflowersteves]

jealous thoughts || b.b.

summary || mob!au, you have to flirt with Bucky’s buyer and you were successful, however, Bucky was the least bit impressed.

author’s note || lmao i completely and utterly forgot to post this on tumblr but this was for the marvel x reader fic fest that @fandomsandxfiles​ had hosted!

warnings || jealousy, anger, smut!!, rough sex, fingering, [18+ only]

Main Masterlist

Bucky’s coming home today.

You sigh, taking a fluffy brush and placing some translucent powder onto your skin. Your fancy white dress felt like it was hugging you. You turned to see Alpine strutting into the bathroom and purring against your legs. Bucky had to deal with a couple of lackeys that turned out to be spies from the Russian Mob. He had to be in New Jersey as well, so it’s been an entire week without your sweet, loving husband.

You discovered that you had missed the little things. You missed how his arms would drape over your body, deep breaths fanning your neck, lips gently caressing your shoulder blade, and soft snores filling the silent air. You both would never miss a single night of cuddling, even when you were pissed off at each other.

Your nights grew colder each day under the bedsheets, Bucky’s warmth was completely absent. He would always have a plethora of water glasses sitting half-empty on the bedside table but now it was clutter-free and bare. Missing your husband was such an unpleasant and disrupting feeling. Every single night he had been gone, you rummaged through his side of the closet and wore one of his shirts to bed. You would relish in the smell and feel of him until the shirts started to lose the essence of him. It felt soul burning and heart wrenching that he wasn’t there right beside you.

You wanted his hot touched skin to radiate onto you. You wanted his hand to slowly slide down your stomach, inching closer and closer to your aching cunt. You wanted Bucky to run a bath after sex, gently cleaning each other. You would always watch Bucky with a swelled heart as each glance and touch that was placed upon your skin was filled with adoration and passion.

You laughed a bit at yourself for having these dramatic thoughts. It’s been only one single week and yet your fire burning ache for him only grew larger. You could survive perfectly in life without him, you knew that very well. You just didn’t want that life.

You try to shake the distracting thoughts from your head, concentrating on getting ready for the dinner party.

Tonight, you were supposed to attend this party with Bucky, however, he still wasn’t home. The party is hosted by one of Bucky’s buyers. Erik was very charming and handsome, he would always have a smile on his face until it turned into a frown. However, it was mostly never aimed at the two of you, as he always had worked well with you and Bucky. He would make sure that all the shipments would arrive on time and made sure that nobody would infiltrate them. He was Bucky’s favorite client to work with, minus the too long of a stare he would occasionally send your way.

The ping of your phone hit your ears and you quickly walked over to where it sat on the counter and took a peak.

Buckaroo: Stuck in traffic. Sorry, Doll.

You sigh, that burning sensation resonated deep within you. You tried to suppress it but you were getting so desperate to see your husband. He’s back in New York now with all of the traffic, he was so close to you yet not close enough. You grabbed your purse and swiftly walked out the door, telling Happy to drive to the venue.

The tall pale mansion with large open windows now became almost like a small house in the distance. Happy went on, talking about boxing the whole way. You never minded those conversations with Happy, however, tonight you just weren’t in the mood to indulge. You just wanted to be snuggled up at home next to Bucky.

~~

You walked up the large stairs that ascended into the skyscraper. Your dress was long and elegant, shaping all of your curves in just the right way. If Bucky was right by your side, he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of you and suggest to leave or as he would put it, “fuck this shipment, let's go fuck each other’s brains out.”

You quietly thank the waiter and grab a glass of champagne off of the tray. You softly sip on the bubbly drink, watching people mingle here and there. You heard loud laughter, soft-spoken words, and chatter throughout the grand room.

“All alone, angel?” A light smile tipped itself onto your lips, as you turned towards the figure next to you. “Bucky had some business to take care of.” He smiled brightly at you, his charming twinkling eyes staring right at you. He opened his arm out, gesturing for you to follow. “Shall we do business then, y/n?” You giggled and nodded, interlocking your arms together, and walking towards a more private area.

You sat down at the end of the big round table, Erik was on the other side, and some of his men stood right behind him. He tapped the side of his whiskey occasionally, the ring on his finger making a soft clunk every time. You kept still, sipping your champagne and hoping the bubbles will make you lighten up a bit. You’ve done Bucky’s business countless times, Steve and Sam would always joke that you did it better than he did.

You purse your lips and cleared your throat which got his attention. “I would like to make an offer.” You pause, waiting for his approval of the matter. He nods and you open your mouth to continue. “You are well aware of Bucky’s territory, with also his recent take over of crown heights. We know you’re in control of the downtown area, Bedford Stuyvesant, and Sunset Park.” An eyebrow rose on Erik’s face, intrigue taking over his features. “We’ve noticed a couple of your men scoping out Williamsburg, Bushwick, and East New York. Those are very large neighborhoods to control.”

He nodded, taking a small sip of his whiskey before replying. “Especially with the larger amounts of the police force in those neighborhoods. It’ll be harder to control the police state.”

Now you nodded, “Exactly. So Bucky and I are proposing that we take over those neighborhoods together. With both of our resources, we’d be able to take control of the neighborhood and the police state. We’d both get the profit 50/50 and we can divide the neighborhoods evenly.”

There was a long silence, Erik’s knuckle was near his lips, and he was staring right at you. You, on the other hand, were getting obscenely nervous. Your hands started to become clammy and your mind was running through every possibility that he was thinking. You were hoping that he would at least consider it but the more amount of silence that was suffocating the air, the more nervous you became.

“I don’t think this offer is for me. Sorry, y/n.” You sigh, taking another sip of your almost empty glass. “You know, you’d be getting 50/50 of the profit.” He snapped his finger and one of his men ran to get a cigar. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit the cigar, taking big puffs that were released into the air.

“I think you and I both know that it’ll be much harder than that.” Your eyes locked with his and you knew he was right. What happened if one of Bucky’s men went into his territory and started a fight? What if it happened with Erik? There were a lot of possibilities that could end up in a war but you and Bucky had already thought about them.

Especially with you and Bucky trying to have a baby, you both have to eventually refrain from indulging yourselves in the normal mob business. You both already decided to give the business off to Sam and Steve. And knowing that they have the same moral compass as Bucky, there’s no way that they’d make a huge fuss over a new lackey getting in a fight with someone. The only time they’re dealt with is when they become disloyal.

You set down your glass onto the large table, “Bucky and I have elaborated every possibility we could think of.” Your eyes didn’t meet his. You knew that he was contemplating your decision but you looked over at the strong buff men right beside him. “We could also have altering schedules. That way, there would be no problems with fights or disputes. Communication is what makes this plan full proof and I don’t think NYPD realizes how much we’re willing to cooperate.” He raised an eyebrow. You could tell that he was interested and you were well aware that his concerns were valid. After all, the two biggest mob bosses working together would be tricky. “My answer is still no.”

For another five minutes, you two were going back and forth trying to convince the other to agree and disagree. “I’ve had enough of this game, y/n.” You cursed to yourself in your head. For whatever reason, he wouldn’t budge. You could tell your bargaining skills weren’t working and the two of you were getting more and more frustrating. You tried to only stare at the empty champagne glass, trying to think of another way to get his attention to agree.

A small sly smile reaches up on your face and you curtly walk over to where he was sitting. His bodyguards jumped towards you but he lifted his hand for them to stop. You could tell he was quite entertained by how you were acting this evening.

You placed yourself on his lap, the smirk still playing on your lips. His eyes were blown wide, he seemed quite surprised. You knew that that didn’t happen often, a little bit of pride swelled inside of you. You flirtatiously placed your hand on the peak of his shoulder, then making it move so slowly down his chest.

His eyebrows furrowed and he clicked his tongue, “you’re married.” you playfully shrugged, cringing a bit in your head but you knew it was only to play the part. You had to act like Bucky wasn’t enough. His hands then went to rest on your hips. Pre Bucky days this would make you become a flustered mess, your skin would almost tremble but now, you felt nothing as his fingers dipped right into your skin.

Your eyes twinkled as you whispered seductively in his ear. “I do what I want, Erik.” You nibbled slightly on his ear, making his breath crooked. Your other hand went down his chest again, swirling and feeling his tailored suit.

“We were both born in mafia families. It was arranged.” Technically, you weren’t lying. The two of you did have an arranged marriage, however, you ended up already being in love with Bucky. So, your parents and his parents went ahead and made the deal anyway. A smirk danced on his features, a fiery look in his eyes had ignited. “Alright. I’ll take you up on that offer, y/n. If it means I get to work with you more often.” You smile brightly at your success. Sure, he would try and advance himself at you again but you would cross that bridge when you go there. You were just happy that you got the deal. After doing some more business, you tell him that Bucky is supposed to be coming home and he offered to escort you out.

You took the offer and his men urged you to follow them. You stalked behind them, walking slowly while going through the long deserted hallway. You were looking ahead when right out of nowhere, you feel a pull to your arm. You were yanked over to the wall of the hallway and taken inside a dark room. You tried to scream but a hand quickly covered your mouth. You almost elbowed whoever the fuck was trying to kidnap you until you heard that soft silky voice you know all too well.

“Miss me, sweetheart? By the looks of it, you didn’t.” You ignored the last part of his comment, not caring about whatever he said. All you cared about was being back into his arms again. “Bucky!” You quickly get out of his kidnapping hold and enveloped him into a hug. You latched onto him so fast that his body rocked back a bit.

His light chuckles filled your ears but you could tell something was off. The chuckles didn’t meet his smile nor the crinkle in his eyes. It sounded too fake. You open your mouth to say something but he quickly stops it and detached himself from you. The loss of his body, especially being so close, made you shiver.

“I can’t believe you. Was our whole relationship a lie, then?” You shook your head, not understanding his comment. Furious about what? You didn’t understand it so you opened your mouth again but was swiftly interrupted. However, this time, his large booming voice made you jump.

“I mean, seriously! Cheating on me? How long have you been doing this, huh? Is that why Erik always wants to do business with us?” You almost slapped your forehead for not getting what Bucky was talking about sooner. He must’ve seen you with Erik, assuming that you were trying to get with him.

“Buck-” He harshly grabbed your wrists and pinned you up against the hard wall. His hot breath was fanning against your ear and his body was pressed against yours. Your heart rate skyrocketed at just his touch, electricity boiling over in your stomach. “I guess you need a reminder of who you belong to.”

You shouted out many protests as he yanked you off of the wall, into another small hallway, and right out the door. His face was stern, eyebrows were completely furrowed, and there was a glassy look of rage in his eyes. You could tell he was furious, his breaths were short and light, his tongue darted out to lick his dry lips, and his left hand would coil and uncoil.

So you shut yourself right up and let him take you to a sleek black car that was right outside the building. There was no point in arguing with him when you were already in deep shit for it looking like you were cheating. He opened the passenger side and shoved you into the seat. You quickly buckle your seatbelt as he gets into the driver's side, slamming the door behind him. He started the car and without a word, started to drive home.

His knuckles almost turned white with the grip he had on the steering wheel. If you didn’t think that angry Bucky was one of the hottest things to lay your eyes on then you would be lying to yourself. His muscles were bulging out of his pants and tight shirt, a couple of veins on his forehead were thick.

For the most part, you stared out the window, occasionally sighing. You were thinking about all the ways to explain to him your situation. You knew it would be best to explain yourself when he wasn’t angry but you wanted him to know that what you were doing was just a game, it wasn’t serious. You didn’t want him to start doubting himself. You didn’t want him to leave.

You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Bucky’s hand resting on your thigh and inching closer to the edge of your underwear. By the time you fully noticed, his whole hand was down your pants. He quickly pushed your panties aside with his hand and ran the pads of his fingers up and down your entrance.

A little squeak emerged from your mouth as you peaked over to see a large playful smirk on his lips. Your juices ran up and down your entrance and his fingers moved to circle your clit. “Look at that. Look at how dripping wet you already are, doll.” A delicious moan escaped your mouth, you grabbed his forearm in urgency.

“Can Erik do this? Can Erik make you wet by just simply touching you?” You didn’t have time to react as he pushed a finger inside, slowly moving in and out of your throbbing pussy. “I need words, baby doll.”

You tried to form some kind of acknowledgment but it just turned into a stuttering mess, his movements growing faster. He tried to keep his eyes on the road but he turned towards you again, seeing as your eyes were screwed shut and your head was thrown back. You had opened your legs more as Bucky had pleasured you further.

“Answer the question or I stop.” You groaned at his gruff voice, it was demanding yet sweet. He had never acted like this before, controlling and pure wanting. You two have had a lot of sex but then again, he’s never thought you cheated either.

“Erik c-can’t make me feel t-this way.” You cried out in desperation as he inserted another finger and they curled just slightly. “Who does?” A burst of pleasure erupted in your stomach, his fingers now moving at a rapid pace and his thumb went to gently caress and circle your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“You do!” You screamed, and he never took his eyes off of you. You were so close, the knot in your stomach was beginning to unfold. Everything felt like it was throbbing and tightening, your whines kept filling the air. Your pussy clenched around his fingers, letting him know that you were close.

However, then that feeling of pleasure was gone. Bucky had taken his fingers out and just left you sitting there. “Buck-”

You stared in awe as he placed his fingers in his mouth. He tasted your juices, you could almost imagine his wet tongue sucking on his fingers. He let go with a pop, placing the hand back onto the steering wheel. “You taste divine, doll. But we’re almost home.”

So, you did what you could only think of, beg. “Bucky, please. I-I need you. Please, I need your cock or your fingers, anything! Nobody compares to you, I-” his eyes flickered over towards you but he lightly shook his head. He opened his mouth but you continued, hoping that he’d stop the car and take you right here. “Please, Bucky. Nobody makes me so needy as you do. I need your fingers, your lips, and your cock. Please, I need them-”

You were whining still as he pulled up in the driveway. You were interrupted by his car door opening and you quickly got out as well. You were about to get his attention again until he threw you over his shoulder and took large steps, stalking into the house.

“You’ve forgotten how I make you feel, or else you wouldn’t have flirted with Erik.” He didn’t waste any time and he set you on top of the large kitchen island. He pushed you down onto it, the cold marble hitting your back. He quickly undid his belt and roughly ripped your panties off. His plump lips went to immediately attack your neck, sucking and biting.

A large, tight gasp lifted upon your lips, his thick cock was sliding back and forth, teasing your entrance. “Bucky, please!” Your body couldn’t help but writhe on the island as he slammed his thick cock into you. His pace was fast and hard, his fingers went to circle your clit again which made you squirm underneath him. “Fuck, babydoll.”

“Yes, yes, fuck,” You screamed out, grabbing the ends of the island your hands almost cramping from how tight you were holding on to it.

“You’re mine, you got that? My beautiful, sexy wife. I can’t live without you, doll.” the sound of skin on skin was loud and thick, you were moaning and whimpering as his cock filled you up just right. You started to feel that tight coil again, “You going to cum, baby? I want you to cum all over me, okay?”

He sounded desperate, almost begging for him to feel you orgasm all over him. You moaned his name over and over again, your mind only thinking about your husband. “Let it go, baby. I got you.” You let out a long cry, cumming all over his cock. Sloppy juices ran down your thighs and it covered Bucky whole. A low groan sounded from his throat, continuing to push himself in and out of you.

A long moan escaped his mouth. He was about to take himself out of you but you stopped him, urging for him to cum inside of you. “Doll, if you don’t want to-” You shook your head, pressing your forehead against his. “I want to, Buck. I want a baby with you.”

Just that sentence had hit him over the edge, his head was forced back and his eyes were snapped shut. You could feel his cum inside of you, he shouted your name over and over again. He continued shooting himself all in you, and your moans were mixed. You were both panting, no words were shared for quite some time. His hands then lowered from your stomach to your hips, squeezing them a bit.

He went to open his mouth, a concerned look was given your way but this time, you interrupted him. “I got the deal.” His hands still rested on your hips but his head cocked to the side in confusion. “What?”

You nodded, taking your hand and resting your palm against his cheek. He subconsciously leaned towards the warmth of your hand. “I’m so so sorry that you had to see what you did. I promise you though, you’re enough.” Tears had fully rolled down his face, his sniffles filling the air. After what he had seen earlier, he needed to hear that. “You’re more than enough, Buck—you’re the sunshine in my life.”

Your sobs punctured the air, your chest tightening even more at the thought of Bucky becoming insecure because of you. He lifts his lips into a small smile while you move your thumb up and down on his cheek.

His body became closer now, his torso between your thighs. “Erik wouldn’t budge when I offered him the deal. He kept refusing and it was getting to the point where we were both just so frustrated. I had a hunch that he found me attractive. So, I used that to my advantage and we got the 50/50 deal on territory and profits.” A large smile burst onto Bucky’s face, he seemed very relieved that what he saw wasn’t true.

“Oh, you flirt!” You slapped his chest, both of your bubbly laughter engulfing the kitchen. “Now that I know the truth, I’m not going to lie, you deceiving others is pretty hot.” His hand reached down and intertwined it with yours. A hum left his lips as the hand that was on your cheek moved to play with his hair.

“It’s hot, huh? Guess I should do it more often.” His forehead leaned down to touch yours, a light content sigh leaving his lips. “I’m serious, Buck. I love you more than anything.” His hand reached up and touched the shape of your nose, eyes flickering around your face almost like he was memorizing it. “I love you too, doll.”

He straightened up a bit, his sweet smile turning into a cocky smirk. “Well then, for getting the deal done, we should have victory sex.” You giggled, pressing a long-overdue kiss on his lips. “I think that’s a great idea. But this time, baby, I’m in charge.” He chuckled, lifting your torso so you were now wrapped around his body and he started walking towards the bedroom. “Anything for you, my beautiful wife.”

#mob!au #mob bucky #mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mobster!au #mobster!bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #smut #Winter Soldier #winter solider x reader #alternate universe #alternate universe mob #mob au #marvel #marvel fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader