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genevievemd · 2 years

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The Heart Wants...

Book: Open Heart: Second Year (Post 2.3) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Genevieve McClure) Word Count: 1334 Rating: G Category: Angst, Ethan POV Trope(s): and there’s some good ol’ Pining

A/N: After going on a terrible blind date, Ethan agrees to meet up with Genevieve. But it’s harder than they both imagined.

Warnings: none

A/N: Ya’ll I actually managed not to give this a “happy ending” and I’m super proud of myself. Also, the title for the next fic in the timeline (a Bk 2, ch 4 fic) is in this... can you find it?

Also, I did not proof read, like a savage.

Also also, submitting this for @choicesficwriterscreations “Please Be Prompt” for this weeks angst prompt - which is in bold.

He should have said no to this. Should have simply thanked her for saving him from an awful blind date and ended their text exchange there.

Instead, Ethan agreed to meet up at a coffee shop that was open late and spend the rest of his evening with Genevieve.

He told himself on the drive over that it was simply two friends meeting up, a thank you for the bail out, that it had nothing to do with the feelings he still carried for her.

But it did.

It would be the first time Ethan would see her and be alone with her outside the hospital since they visited the Stevenson home. And he could already feel his heart come alive at the thought.

He pulls into the parking lot behind the café, shutting off the care with a strangled sigh. His hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. The reset should have been easy, it wasn’t as if he was in love with Genevieve.

No, he hadn’t crossed that line yet. No matter how much his barricaded heart screamed for her.

Ethan Ramsey was not falling in love with his resident. And he’d never allow himself to.

Which was the reason he even agreed to the date Baz had set up for him. To prove to himself that the reset was the right decision and he could, in fact, move on from whatever was developing between him and Genevieve.

The friendship they’d formed over the last year was as far as they could and would ever go now.

Ethan finally exits his car, swallowing the lump in his throat. Repeating over and over that he was only meeting her as a friend.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He opens the door to the small café, his eyes instantly finding Genevieve. She’s at a table near the back, eyes full of sorrow as she twirls the spoon around her cup.

Shame washes over him, because he had made her sad. He put that frown on her perfect face.

In his haste to extract himself from the date, it didn’t occur to Ethan that the knowledge of him being on said date would cause Genevieve pain.

Though, it should have.

His rookie wore her heart on her sleeve, her every emotion on her face at any given time, for the world to see.

He knew she still wanted him, was still holding out hope that Ethan would rescind the reset and they’d be together.

But he won’t and, in time, Gen would come to accept it. And begin to move on herself.

He ignores the sharp pain he feels in his heart at the thought of her with someone else, and maneuvers his way to the table.

“Hey.”

The pain he just saw disappears as she looks up at him. Her smile so bright its as if she is the sun itself.

“Hi. I was going to order you something, but I wasn’t sure.”

“That’s fine.” Ethan sits across from her, returning her smile.

Its incredible how quickly she can change his moods. Just being near her, being able to see the freckle in her right eye and rosiness of her cheeks, makes his entire body relax. No one else has ever had that effect on him. Which was why he needed to flee to the jungle, put distance between them.

Both physically and emotionally.

“So, a vegan blogger?” Genevieve smirks, taking a sip of her tea.

“I have no idea what Mirani was thinking.”

“Doesn’t seem like he knows your type at all.”

“It would seem that way, yes.”

He catches the flash of agony that flickers across her face, even as Gen tries to hide it behind her tea cup.

“I’m sorry.” He offers, solemnly.

“For what? It’s not like I’m anything other than your friend.” She shrugs, the bite in her words piercing through his defenses.

Reminding Ethan, once again, of the pain he’s caused her.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, G.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did. I can see it all over your face.”

“Yeah, well…” She takes a deep breath, looking away from him. “That’s what happens when they guy you like goes on a date with someone else.”

“I didn’t have a good time.”

“That doesn’t make it any better, Ethan.”

“You know it has to be this way, it’s for the best.” He so badly wants to reach for her hand, but that would be counterproductive.

If he felt her skin, touched her in any way, it would be like opening up a wound that’s just started to heal. Or an addict giving in to temptation.

He needed to keep his hands to himself, and fight, with everything he has, the urge he has to hold her hand.

“It doesn’t feel like it.” Genevieve takes another deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut.

“It will, in time.”

“Sometimes, I think you mean, or meant, more to be me than I do to you. It wouldn’t be this easy for you if I did.”

He watched the tiniest tear escape her eyes and fall down her cheek. Another glaring reason why Ethan never should have agreed to meet her tonight. It was too painful, for her and for him.

“I don’t know what to say anymore, Gen. You know my reasons for the reset and agreeing to go on that date tonight. If you can’t accept them, then –”

“I can, I have. I just don’t operate like you. I can’t just shut my feelings off or shove them into a box and throw them away.” She finally looks at him again, a fire in her green eyes. “I can’t just forget what happened between us. Maybe you can, but I can’t.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” The admission, for some reason, feels like a weight being lifted. A secret he hadn’t know he was keeping being brought into the light.

Because, he was right, he hadn’t forgotten. He thought about her every spare second he had in the amazon. Even now, working beside her day in and day out, all he thinks about was how it felt to kiss Genevieve, to hold her in his arms.

It was the very reason the reset was so hard. When it should have been easy.

Perhaps, he was wrong before. Maybe Ethan was, or had already started to fall in love with the woman sitting across from him.

Maybe she was already so much more than his very close friend. His best friend, is what Gen called herself.

Maybe, she was already so deep in his veins, that his heart now depended on her to survive.

And that, was a fate worse than death.

Ethan depended on no one, and he wasn’t about to start now.

He had to stand firm, and erase every feeling he had for her and make sure Genevieve did the same.

“I’m sorry.”

He’s startled from his thoughts by her voice, her melodic tone pulling him back to reality.

“I don’t want to fight, or start a fight. I’m gonna go freshen up and then when I come back we’ll start over and you can tell me all about the vegan blogger from hell. Okay?” Gen offers him a sad smile, a brave face.

“Okay.”

She gets up from the table before Ethan can say more, disappearing into the back room.

Ethan leans back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes in defeat.

This would be the last time he allows them to be alone together. After tonight, for both their sakes, he’s putting his foot down. No more meetings at Derry Roaster’s before work, or texts pertaining to anything but work. This was the last time.

He’ll be the bad guy, if it saves them from ruin. He’ll make sure they both let go of their feelings and pining for what could have been.

They’ll be Dr. Ramsey and Dr. McClure once more.

Exactly as it always should have stayed.

A/N: He’s a dummy. But we love him anyway.

Tagging Separately.

#ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #open heart #open heart fanfiction #please be prompt #ethan x gen #to think a year after this fic they're dating and official lol and then two years later they're married af #some reset Dr Ramsey lmao

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inseongsfoxybae · 3 years

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The way you move

Pairing: Boyfriend Jaeyoon + Idol Female Reader; established relationship

Genre: Smut + Fluff ending

Warnings: hard dom!Jaeyoon, jealousy, dirty talk/cursing, sex against the wall, thigh riding, a bit of fingering, overstimulation, unprotected sex (reader’s on birth control), riding, creampie + aftercare

Words: 2,375

Requested: Hello! I would like to make a request for Jaeyoon, where his idol!girlfriend has a sexy stage with kai from exo and he gets jealous and it leads to rough sex? 👁👄👁

Author’s message: Hi, dear anon!, your request is finnaly here! I had a great time writing it (as Jaeyoon as wrecking me more then anything these days), so I hope you enjoy it ^.^. Also, feel free to send in a new request anytime. Foxy kisses 😘

P.S: As english is not my mother language, it may contain misspelled. Also, sorry for any other mistakes :)

Synopsis: After a hot special performance with your friend Kai, Jaeyoon got jealous of your touchy moves on stage and proved who owns your heart and body when you got home.

this gif is killing me 🥵

You are close friends with Kai and, as he’s going to have a stage on a music festival, he invited you to make a special performance of Mmmh with him. Your group was out of the line up, so you had enough free time to practise with him and gladly accepted the invitation.

When you told Jaeyoon the news, he looked a little uncomfortable, but even so, he smiled and supported you. It's not that he wasn't happy for you or didn’t trust you, he just knew how sexy this song is and he didn’t like other guys touching his bae, especially Kai, who had known you for so many years. Jaeyoon was a bit jealous, but didn’t show it to not muddle your enthusiasm.

You had three weeks for the festival and you stepped into a dance room of SM to start the practices. At first, you thought his back dancers would participe on the performance too, but when you entered the room, only Kai was waiting for you and then you realized what his “special stage” meant - a couple performance.

You got a bit nervous about what Jaeyoon would think about it, but shook those thoughts off your mind and focused on the choreography. Everything went good during rehearsals, you learned and cleaned the movements quickly and the great day has finally come.

SF9 was performing at this festival too, so you came along with them, your mind running between giving attention to your boyfriend and passing the choreo one last time into your head. Once you had arrived at the arena, you said your goodbyes and hurried to your dressing room to get ready. Kai was already there, wearing a super tight and sexy outfit that would make any girl swoon.

You quickly put on your clothes - hotpant shorts and a sexy cropped top - and make up and rush to watch SF9’s stage. They performed a special version of Good Guy and Summer Breeze and you almost drooled at their sensual movements and outfits. And when they left the stage and Jaeyoon was face to face with you, you swore you almost fainted at your gorgeous boyfriend.

Jaeyoon froze when he saw you dressed like that, his heart skipping some beats. “So, am I pretty?”, you smiled and stepped closer to him. He swallowed while staring fondly at you. “You’re stunning”, he breathed quickly and you chuckled. Jaeyoon was about to pull you into his arms to kiss you when Kai showed up calling for you. “We are the next. Get ready”, he said shortly and glanced at Jaeyoon.

“I have to go now, baby. See you later in my dressing room”, you pecked his cheek and ran away to the other side of the backstage. Jaeyoon was very proud of you, but he couldn’t stop to feel uncomfortable about you being alone with Kai. However, he shook it off his mind and found a place to watch your performance.

It was your turn, the moment you waited for the last month was finally happening and you felt your heart race faster. Kai took your hand and led you to the stage, where you got your positions and started to dance when the music played. The song was sexy, the choreo was hot and you felt his hands running through your body, his face only centimeters aways from yours, his hot breath fanning your neck and lips.

Both of you gave yourselves completely to music, feeling every beat with your bodies pressed together in fluid movements, the crowd going crazy with your intimate connection on stage. It was a success, one of the best performances of the night and the media had their eyes on you as soon as you left the stage. Kai was answering some reporters and bloggers when your eyes found Jaeyoon on a corner. His lips were showing you a proud smile, but his eyes were serious, dark, maybe even angry, mainly when Kai wrapped an arm around your waist and whispered something in your ear.

When you looked at Jaeyoon again, he wasn’t there anymore. You got rid of Kai’s grip and ran to look for your boyfriend, but your manager pulled you to your dressing room first to take some photos and changed your clothes. You were leaving the room when Kai approached you. “Thank you for today, Y/N. You were amazing”, he said smiling. “I‘m the one who has to say thank you”, you answered, smiling back and Kai unexpectedly hugged you tightly, catching you by surprise.

“I have to go”, you broke the hug and turned around only to see a dumbfounded Jaeyoon watching you. “Jae, where were you?”, you asked, trying to catch his attention, but he only locked his eyes with yours, no words. “Do you still have schedules today? Wanna go home with me?”, you reached for his hands, but he stepped back. “I go to the car”, he spoke for anyone in particular and left. “Wait for me!”, you exclaimed and ran behind him.

There was a small car waiting for you, one of FNC's staff would drive you and Jaeyoon home. Neither of you spoke along the way, Jaeyoon’s eyes were fixed on the window, looking at no place, while you were staring at your lap, trying to find words to tell him. Even when you got at your building and entered the elevator, he didn’t say a single word or looked at you.

Only when you stepped out the hallway, you got the courage to talk to him, grabbing his hand. "Jaeyoon, what's wrong with you?", you inquired staring at his back. Jaeyoon stopped in front of the door of your shared apartment and sighed heavy. "I'll show what's wrong", he snorted, opening the door and pulling you into the room.

He slammed you against the wall, pressing your bodies together, his hot breath fanning on your face. "The way you move. That's the problem", he growled against your lips, but without touching it yet. "The fucking way you fucking move beside fucking Kai", he spat his words on your face, his dark eyes penetrating deep in your soul.

"Are you jealous?", you teased him as he pressed you stronger on the wall, so that you were almost on tiptoe. "Are you mocking me now?", Jaeyoon stepped even closer. "Do I have to show you who you belong to?", his lips only millimeters aways from yours. "Show it", you implied as he mouth was roughly pressed against yours, kissing you hungrily, devouring and sucking all you have for him.

As his lips worked up there, his hands roamed along your sides and hips, pushing your skirt up. His fingers hardly rubbed your pussy, you gasped and arched your back at the sudden stimulation, as he pulled your hips towards his thigh, placing it between your clothed core. Jaeyoon flexed his muscle thigh and started to move you back and forth in a desperate pace, his leather pants causing a searing heat against your thin lacy panties. His mouth was now attacking your neck, sucking and biting hard, leaving deep marks on your soft skin, as his hands set the unforgiving pace of your body.

"Could Kai fuck you like this, Y/N?", Jaeyoon whispered in your ear. "Answer!", he commanded and you moaned a desperate "No". "Of course not. I'm the only one who can ruin you like this, make you feel good", he groaned, sucking another portion of your skin. "And tonight, baby, I'm gonna fuck you till you forget your own name", he continued as one of his hands moved to rub your clothed clit, you were squirming and screaming at the overstimulatiom, your wetness going down on your inner thighs. "Cum for me, babygirl", he growled against your skin, licking a sweet spot on your neck.

And like a flashlight, the knot on your stomach exploded and your orgasm flowed over your body, your legs shaking hopeless around Jaeyoon's thigh. He placed you on your feet, you barely being able to stand by yourself, while he took off his pants along with his briefs, his full hard member bouncing into the air. Jaeyoon closed the distance between the two of you, kissing you harshly, while his strong hands ripped your panties effortless. He grabbed the back of you thighs and pulled you up, wrapping your legs around his hips and mercilessly slamming his length into your throbbing core.

Jaeyoon set a unforgiving pace since the beginning, his thrusts deep and violent into you, filling your pussy completely. “I bet Kai couldn’t take you like this, huh?”, he groaned as you screamed his name desperately, your back banging against the way with every powerful thrust as your nails digged into his flesh. He had barely started and your eyes were rolling to the back of your neck already, your body convulsing in pleasure. “JAEYOOON - FUCK”, you screamed at the top of your lungs as you came undone, your waters washing over Jaeyoon’s dick.

He increased his pace, chasing his own high, grunted “fucks” and a long hiss leaving his mouth when he released his seeds deep into you. His shaking legs lost their strength and he collapsed on the floor with you still in his arms, both of you breathing hard and trembling. Jaeyoon pulled out and watched his semen coming out from your slit, dripping on his low stomach and down his thigh.

Your face was still hidden in his neck, your arms had fallen loosely on his sides. "Y/N", Jaeyoon called you, softer this time, as you just hummed, too weak for answering. He wrapped his hands onto your upper arms and moved you away from his neck, leaning you on the wall. Both of your eyes met and you smiled at him. "Well, I guess you proved I'm yours", you teased him and you both laughed. "But I think I'll have to dance with other guys more often if it means you'll fuck me on the wall every single time", you confessed and he chuckled, blushing slightly.

"Are you okay? I mean… Aren't you sore?", Jaeyoon asked shyly. "It's not a big deal", you shook your head and placed your hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "Jae…", you stared at him, "... I still want you...", you pecked his cheek, "... inside me…", you pecked his nose, "in our bed", you kissed his lips. Jaeyoon wrapped his arms around you and got up with you into his embrace, kissing you passionately.

He moved you to the bedroom and laid you carefully on bed, taking off the rest of both of your clothes. His mouth and hands were all over your skin, touching and kissing and nibbling all the right places, his dick cradled between your legs getting hard again. His thumb found your clit and rubbed it slowly, taking his sweet time to make you wetter and ready for him. His fingers teased your entrance, curling up one, then two, then three digits inside your pussy.

"Jae...", you moaned his name quietly and he looked up at you, "... I'm gonna ride you now", you two smirked and Jaeyoon was caught in surprise when you pushed him till his back touched the mattress and your legs straddled his hips. You kissed the tip of his dick and palmed him a little till it's full hard and pushed yourself down, filling your pussy to the brim, both of your moans echoing through the cold air of your room.

You started to slowly grind against him, wiggling your hips with his in a sensual pace that drove you wild, in a way only the two of you could. Jaeyoon gripped your hips and helped you move, pulling up and down on him. "The way you move, babe...", he breathed, ".... it's so good - ohmygod", he groaned when you set a faster pace, your body bouncing on his.

You leaned in to kiss his lips and neck and he took the chance to dig his heels into the sheets and thrusted upwards. His balls slammed against your pussy roughly, the cacophonous sound of your wild dance and moans filling the room. You clenched around him, his deep thrusts making you high already, and Jaeyoon grunted your name, increasing his pace.

The merciless speed made both of your visions hazy and your legs shaking, desperate whines and trembling when your orgasms hitted you like a rocket. You two collapsed into each other’s body, breathless, sweaty, cloudy mind. Jaeyoon slipped out from you and pulled you closer to him, taking your lips in a tired tender kiss. Your hands wiped away the sweat and some strands of damp hair from his forehead.

A few minutes later, when you calmed yourselves down, Jaeyoon broke the silence. “Y/N, I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier”, he swallowed hard. “I shouldn’t treat you like that, ignored you like that, hurted you like that”, he whispered guiltily. “You didn’t hurt me, Yoonie. You just have to trust me better”, you looked up at him. “I love you, Jae, more than anything. And you know I’m yours and only yours, no one can’t take me away from you. Do you know it, right?”.

“I know, babe. And I trust you, but when I saw you dancing with Kai like that… I can’t help being jealous. Sorry about that”, his eyes shook.

“Shh… Don’t talk about Kai anymore. Let’s forget about that performance and focus on us. I love you, Jae, and you won’t lose me for anything or anyone”, you reassured him.

“I love you too, baby...”, he smiled and pecked your lips. “... and I’m yours forever”, you both smiled. “Now, let’s take a shower together and sleep?”, he suggested and you nodded.

Jaeyoon took you into his arms and guided you to the bathroom, where you took a hot shower together, relaxing into each other’s bodies. After the both of you were clean and properly dry, you plopped into your bed and snuggled closer under your thick blankets. Jaeyoon ran his fingers through your hair, sweetly humming a lullaby till he fells your head pending over his chest, your calm and steady heartbeat and breath. He kissed softly your forehead and closed his eyes, drifting away as well.

#kpop writings #sf9 writings #sf9 imagines #sf9 smut #sf9 jaeyoon #anon request

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ownworldresident · 3 years

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We Are Our Own Heroes. Chapter 1: Saturday Game

Finally I bring you Liam and Cassie! I’ve been waiting for this moment. Enjoy! And stay safe xx

Book: The Royal Romance, seven years post-TRR

Premise:Six years after a tragic loss, Liam and his adopted daughter meet Cassandra, an artist with her own troubled past, and the three find in each other the friend they never knew they needed.

Disclaimer: Setting and some characters belong to Pixelberry studios. I am just borrowing them and will return them when they are feeling better.

Themes: found family, (power of) friendship, healing

The Master Masterlist (link) Our Own Heroes Masterlist (link)

Liam

Cheers echoed around him but drowned out with Liam’s focus on the game. Once strange, the din of the hall and the shouts and whistles from the court were now familiar and welcoming. The smallest shape on the court held his attention. A smile spread ear to ear as he watched her weave, duck and spin, darting under the taller girls’ arms. Near the edge of the court she caught the ball, and immediately came face to face with the tallest defender, who spread her arms wide.

“Come on, Emily!” Liam called. The nine-year-old winked at him, mischievous smirk across her red face, and Liam snorted. Her opponent reached to intercept, Emily bounced it past to her teammate, who turned and tucked it into the goal. Renewed cheers rose around him. Liam stretched out two thumbs-up to Emily as she caught the ball and returned to the centre of the court.

Emily’s coach, an energetic young woman, came to exchange a few words with her before the game resumed. Liam wondered what she was saying, but Emily’s smile grew, so he trusted it to be positive. Backing off the court, the coach -Cassandra- caught Liam’s eye and smiled, and he quickly turned back to Emily.

“Dad!” Emily squeaked, puffing as she came over immediately after the game. Those around them cast those familiar curious glances as he knelt to squeeze her hands. No one said anything anymore, but seeing their monarch at a netball game still seemed an odd sight.

“You were brilliant out there, Panda. Congratulations.” He tucked a pale blonde curl behind her ear. Emily grinned, still breathing heavily, and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

“Cassie said we can get ice cream after. Can we? Please?” Emily watched his for an answer and he pretended to consider.

“Should we trust Cassie?” he asked, one eyebrow raised high. Emily frowned, then nodded.

“We can.” She glanced back to see her teammates gathering around Cassandra, pulling velcroed positions from their uniforms. Liam squeezed Emily’s hands to bring her back.

“After that game, you can get whichever ice cream you like.” Liam released her hands, standing as she immediately raced off to her team.

Despite how red her pale face was, Emily sprinted across the court, pulling the ‘C’ from the front and back of her uniform. Liam watched her, smiling, but looked away when Cassandra caught his eye again. Lucky for him, a text alert came through to give him a reason. Two messages – Drake and Olivia.

His best friend was commenting on hearing Liam had the weekend free. Liam knew how that conversation would go. Drake would ask him to come to that bar near the docks he raved about, and drink there for a while. Like old times, but avoiding the wedge still between them.

Olivia’s message was more direct. Don’t spend the whole weekend alone again, do something, like a human being. Olivia didn’t have a firm grasp on what constituted ‘alone’, which was adequate for her, but not for him. He didn’t answer either message.

As he put his phone away, Emily and Cassandra approached, chatting animatedly. Emily was still bright red, but it hardly impeded her limitless energy. They broke their conversation when she rushed forward.

“Cassie says you should come with us.” Emily hit him with her pleading eyes. He shook his head, grinning, then forced himself to look up. Liam would liken Cassandra to a resting summer sun, with bright dyed red hair and a smile that reached her eyes.

“I’m sure your father has lots of important things to do,” Cassandra said, her voice deeper than he expected. When Emily looked at him like that, there was nothing he would say no to; a fact she knew very, very well.

“I have some time away,” he said. “I would be happy to to join you.”

The spectators filtered from the hall as the court was reset for the next game. Liam followed Emily and the rest of her team out as well. Several parents also came, and he was happy to be swept more by the crowd than Cassandra’s company.

The first several months of caring for Emily had drawn a lot of attention. He had second guessed his decision several times. It took a while, but the media eventually accepted the new normal, and moved on to the next interesting thing. Every big development had been the same: initial attention, then eventual acceptance.

Liam dropped her off at school most days, brought her to swimming lessons and netball games, and to dinner or a movie on special occasions. It would have been so easy to let his staff care for her, like his father had done for him. But he had made a promise, and would not reduce that to a roof over her head.

Besides, from the day he brought her to the palace Emily had been the most important person in his life. He wanted to be there for every important moment of hers.

They reached the ice cream van outside the courts and Liam hung back as the group of girls got their treats and Emily chatted with her friends. He wondered if her mother had been as social when she was younger. If she had smiled like that.

For the first time in months, the thought dredged up their last moments together; her last smile... the musty room... the heavy, metallic smell of blood... Liam grimaced, closing his eyes and acutely aware of being in public. The knowledge didn't help, and he sucked in laboured breaths as he tried to return to the present.

“Dad?” A tentative voice sounded beside him, small hand tugging on his jumper, and he blinked back to focus on her. She had a half finished ice cream cone in one hand, and a smear of it on her cheek. He smiled.

“Yes, Panda?”

“Are you okay?” Emily’s eyes were full of concern, and it pained Liam to see so much understanding in someone so young. He squeezed her shoulder, and nodded.

“I am, thank you,” he answered, then looked up at her teammates. “Go on, finish your ice cream with your friends. I’m okay. I promise.”

Emily watched him for a moment longer, then smiled wider, and returned to her team. Liam sighed, straightened his clothes, and hoped no one had noticed the brief exchange.

“King Liam?” Cassandra’s voice approached and he looked up, smiling.

“Cassandra.” He held out a hand. “Good to meet you.”

She tried to hide a smile as she looked at his hand, then shook it.

“Call me Cassie,” she said, standing beside him and folding her arms.

“Liam,” he replied in kind. Cassie smiled and nodded, then a silence extended between them.

“You daughter is quite a rocket.” Cassie continued after a few moments, raising an eyebrow as she glanced at him, then back to the group. Liam chuckled, seeing Emily almost lose her ice cream as she talked.

“She is,” he said, swallowing and ensuring he made at least periodic eye contact. Cassie’s eyes were a clear hazel, a distinguishing feature.

“I haven’t coached her before,” she continued as if there were no pauses, “I’m looking forward to seeing what she can do.”

Liam nodded, reminding himself to maintain a tall, open posture. He opened his mouth to reply, but faltered. What was he supposed to say to her? Encouraging a closer acquaintance wasn’t a goal of his except on Emily’s behalf.

“Have you worked as a coach for a few years then?” he managed. Cassie smiled. They fell into light conversation. Liam discovered Cassie was an artist and a blogger, and revealed only the most inconsequential details about his own life. Cassie was easy to talk to, and that concerned him. They were reaching the end of his surface topics when Emily ran over, wiping ice cream across her face with the back of her hand.

“Messy,” he said to her, frowning and shaking his head in feigned disapproval. “Tut-tut.”

Emily grinned. “That’s what ice creams are for!”

“Touché,” Liam agreed. Cassie glanced between them.

“See you next week, Em.” She saluted to her, receiving the same, and moved off.

“Can we watch a movie?” Emily asked. Her face was still a little red, accentuated by how pale her features were, even in the Cordonian sun.

“Maybe later.” Liam lifted a hand away from the crowd and toward their car. The girl didn’t move.

“You said we could.”

“Later.”

Emily frowned, tried not to think of how much she looked like her mother when she made that face. Rooted to the spot with folded arms, she lifted her chin and attempted a look of authority. And came very close.

“Later,” he repeated , challenging her pose from twice her height. They were silent, then the smiles grew, and Liam laughed first. Emily cracked up a moment later, then bounced ahead to the car.

“I pick the movie!” she called over her shoulder, as if there was even the slightest chance he wouldn’t allow that. Liam shook his head, still grinning, and followed.

—

Later that night, when Emily was sleeping, Liam reclined in the living room of his apartments and reflected on the day. He heaved a sigh and leaned back in his armchair, exhausted and alone after a whole day with his daughter. Sometimes he fell asleep here, but those nights were always restless.

A knock on the door roused him from a light doze.

Liam blinked several times and looked around, wondering why his bedroom looked so strange before realising he wasn’t in it. Perhaps he imagined the knock, but in confirmation of it’s being real, the person knocked again.

He greeted his friend with a wide yawn and stepped back to let him in.

“You thought sleeping in here was a better use of your time than catching up with a friend?” Drake said as he reached his favourite chair and collapsed in it. Liam closed the door, leant against it, and watched him, amusement playing on his own face.

“I only just got…” He looked at his watch. 10pm. Emily had gone to bed at 8.30, and there had been plenty of time to spend with a friend. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Long day.” Liam returned to his own chair.

“Of course.” Drake pulled a flask from inside his jacket and twisted off the cap. “You realise I’m friends with Bastien.”

Liam frowned. “I am aware of this.” He was also aware that his bodyguard saw everything and everyone, and that Drake leveraged that to keep tabs on him. Maybe he should find more time for his friends. Or ask his bodyguard for more discretion. Again.

“So I figured you’d be spending some time with that red-haired woman from the courts. She looked nice, apparently.” Drake almost smiled – a rare expression. Liam knew he meant well, but his intentions were sometimes skewed by his own reactions to what happened six years ago. Guilt, shame, regret. He felt it, too.

“You figured wrong,” Liam stated, a little harsher than intended. Drake sighed.

“I know.”

Quiet settled and stretched. Unlike earlier, there wasn’t the excited chatter of a dozen nine-year-old girls to fill it. One of the benefits of his relationship with Drake was they could do this –spend hours together and barely exchange a word. The dynamic suited Drake’s introversion, and Liam’s tiredness.

“Li…” Drake said after an indeterminate time, “you know we’re here for you, right?”

Liam looked up. “Thanks, but you also know that I’m well, really. It was just a long day.” With minimal intrusive thoughts. “Em won her game.”

“That’s great!” Drake replied immediately. Another response to his role with Emily’s mother was consistent enthusiasm with her daughter’s achievements.

Much to his delight, Drake sat attentively while Liam recounted the game. The conversation turned to more peer related topics after that as Drake talked about the others. By the time he left it was past midnight and Liam felt like himself again. He promised to try make time for his friends – Drake waved off the comment – and went to bed feeling fulfilled.

What happened when he closed his eyes was rarely so comforting.

------

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bts-reveries · 4 years

Text

waste it on me | part 15 | please read the a/n!

As you sat in Jungkook’s car you wonder to yourself. What made Jungkook suddenly change?

“You’re quiet,” he says, pulling into a parking lot. It was the last ramen place you two went to together. It was during a field trip in Seoul. You never went here with anyone else.

“You still remember this place?” You say, looking out the car window.

“Of course, this was our place. Even if we only went here once.” You nod at his response.

“We should get our stomachs full before we talk hm? Your mind goes running whenever you’re hungry,” he laughs, getting out of the car. Your cheeks turn red, you didn’t think he’d remember that bad habit of yours.

***

When you two got seated and ordered your food, you look up at him and he smiles at you.

“You’re probably wondering why I’m opening up all of a sudden..” You nod at him, waiting for him to continue. He looks down, scratching his head instead, laughing nervously.

“Okay well, I didn’t want to start off like this but I guess I will...” He looks up to you and you nod again for him to continue.

“I-I still like you... a lot actually.” Your heart stopped. You didn’t expect this. At all. In ten years, you’d think he stopped for good.

“Don’t worry though,” he laughs, “I won’t be trying anything, I just want to be friends. Nothing else.” Your heart sank. “I figured I just keep my distance because I know how much I hurt you when I left, but then we kept bumping into each other and my hyungs and your friends kept telling me to talk to you. At least to explain. Soo.. I said if it was fate, then I’d do it.” He laughs again, looking down at his hands. “But then my hyungs told me that it was already fate when you were there when we met up with Namjoon hyung and also the time where we hung out with Namjoon hyung’s friends and one of them happened to be you. So third times a charm right? And then I ended up being seated next to you at the theater so I took the chance and now we’re here.”

“One pork ramen?” You turn to the waitress and you raise your hand. She gives you yours and hands Jungkook his.

“Thank you,” you both say, she bows her head at the both of you, leaving you two to go back to your conversation.

“So are you going to explain now?” You say as soon as the lady left. Jungkook nods at you.

“It’s ten years overdue but, better late than never right?”

✨💫flashback💫✨

“I’M SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU ACTING LIKE THIS.”

Jungkook turns his head to his bedroom door. His parents were fighting again. It was the fifth time in this week alone. He turns his head back around, trying to ignore the yelling.

“Don’t worry Kookie, everything will be okay. Just focus on what we’re working on,” Taehyung says, grabbing the younger one’s attention. He came over to help Jungkook out with his art project. They would’ve done it at his place but Jungkook figured that if he had a friend over, maybe the fighting would stop.

“Okay so just blend that in more,” Taehyung says, pointing to Jungkook’s paper.

“Like this?” He says when suddenly a door slams, making both boys jump. Jungkook stops, looking back to his bedroom door.

“It’s okay Kookie, just—“

“No it’s not, stop saying that,” Jungkook says looking back at Taehyung. “You keep saying that.”

“Saying what?”

“That word. “Okay.” It’s okay. Everything will be okay. You say that because you have a perfect family with perfect parents that get along.”

“Jungkook, parents fight all the time. It’s just a bump in the road, they’ll go back to normal soon. Calm down.”

“Taehyung I cant.” At this time, Jungkook was already getting agitated and his big round eyes were filled with tears. With one blink, the flood gates would open.

“They been at this all week. Same thing over and over again. It hasn’t ended. I know parents fight, they have before and they solve it right away but I don’t think it’s going to be the same this time.”

“Look, Jungkook, no matter what happens. You will end up okay. Parents together or not, they both love you, you’re their first priority.”

“I know that but what about them hyung? My whole life, they loved each other. I don’t want things to change.”

“I’m sorry, I know your still young and all, but you’re old enough to know that life is all about changing. It changes whether we like it or not. But we’ll adapt to these changes. It’s going to be okay— sorry.” Jungkook sighs, a tear falls down his cheek and he quickly wipes it away.

Knock knock

Jungkook and Taehyung both look up at the door. Jungkook quickly gets up to open it. It was his dad.

“Hey,” he says, Jungkook scanned his face and his dad’s face was tinted red. His eyes were swollen and shiny. He sighs as he looks at his son, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Pack your stuff. We’re moving in with your uncle Seojun.” Jungkook’s eyes widen.

“D-dad, why.” His dad looks over his shoulder. Taehyung looks away when their eyes met.

“I’ll tell you later. Just start packing.” With that he walks away, leaving Jungkook stunned. He swallows, closing the door slowly and walking back to Taehyung.

“What’d he say,” Taehyung asks. Jungkook shakes his head.

“We’re leaving.” Taehyung eyebrows raised.

“Leaving? Where?”

“California. My dad said we’re moving in with my uncle Seojun. He lives in.. Los Angeles.” He says slowly, eyes lost in space.

“Jungkook..”

“Don’t tell anyone. Please.” He says with pleading eyes. Taehyung felt bad for him. The young one’s eyes were red and you can see the heartbreak in his eyes. Taehyung nodded.

“I won’t.”

~end of flashback~

“Your parents separated.” You say in shock. All these years you thought he moved with his family. He did say he moved with his family but you expected it to be him and both his parents. Not just his dad moving in with his relatives.

“Wow... I’m sorry to hear that Kook.. It must’ve been hard to go through alone.” He nods.

“Yeah, they ended up getting a divorce afterwards, but it’s okay. I got through it. Los Angeles was fun. I went to a new school and made friends right away. I lost them though after we graduated. But then I made more friends once I got in college. That’s where I met Yoongi hyung, Hobi hyung, and Jimin hyung.”

“Then why couldn’t you tell me any of this?” He sighs.

“I wanted to. At the moment it happened it was set that I wasn’t going to tell you anything. I didn’t want anyone to know what the reason I was leaving was.”

“Not even me?” He looks down, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. That’s why I made up that lie that my family wanted to move abroad. I really didn’t want to hurt you Yn, but back then I knew it wasn’t possible and that it wasn’t going to work out. I didn’t want to waste your time and I didn’t want to break your heart-“

“But you did.”

“Trust me I didn’t want to.”

“You could’ve texted me, or called me and explained to me everything and if you didn’t want to continue it, you could’ve broke up with me then.”

“I wasn’t able to continue calling or texting you because we had to get our phones changed. And when we did, I was too much of a chicken to message you. I imagined you being sad and I didn’t want to call hearing you cry or what if you were mad and you started yelling at me and I was already feeling my worst then. I was too scared to see how I made you feel.” You sigh, shaking your head.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s okay. It was ten years ago. We were thirteen and there’s really no reason for me to be mad now. I’m just glad we have some closure and I finally know the reason.”

“So do you forgive me?” You smile at Jungkook.

“Again. We were young, it was almost over a decade ago. We’re good Kookie.” He smiles at you.

“Well great. I’m sorry it took so long, I thought you would’ve known by now though.”

“How would I?”

“Well you’re best friends with Taehyung. I was sure he would’ve told you everything. He knew the whole story.”

“Taehyung knew?”

“He was there at my house when my parents had their final argument. And he was there when I left for the airport. He really didn’t tell you anything?" You shake your head.

“Wow. I mean I told him not to tell you, but I would’ve thought after I left he would’ve done it anyways.” You scoff as you thought about all the times you ranted to Taehyung about your none existent love life.

“All this time, I was afraid of looking for love or getting into a relationship. I didn’t know why you left, I thought it was something I’ve done. Taehyung told me I was fine and to just go for it. But I didn’t want to because I was insecure and I thought that I’d do something and the same thing that happen between us would happen again. This is why I wanted closure. I thought once I found out what really was wrong with me, I’d be able to go out there and face the dating world again.” You say as you look down into your empty ramen bowl. Jungkook’s ears tint pink, guilt was flooding his system.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner if I knew that this would happ--”

“No. You wouldn’t know any of that because you weren’t there with me when any of these happened. But Taehyung was. And you’re telling me... that all along... he could’ve just told me everything?”

☞ ☞ ☞ ☞ ☞ ☞ ☞

waste it on me

☞part 15: he could’ve☜

→ pairings: jeon jungkook x reader

→ a/n: in the flashback, we (the readers) are getting to see the big picture of what happened in jungkook’s life, but he’s not telling yn every detail like the flashback. he’s just telling her the basis. leaving out the tae detail.

also-- opinions are welcome but pls don’t hate on any characters lol

→ taglist:

@kookiemonstersugatea @lylanie12 @crazyferalvigilantedragonwriter @serious-addiction @zamasus-sugarbaby @cosmicdaylight @strwberry-jam @ratking101 @chiminilove @ask-blogger-miss-prussia @lyssjeon @moonlightrose19 @blueberrykenn @jungmanor @forkpops @nochujjk97 @bldvnbln @hplsmoon @kirbykook @girl-with-luvvv @vantaexx @ephyra1230 @girlwiththeglittereyeliner @akirathao @catspancake @kawaii-desv @strapsforyoonie @dammit-jjk @to-onystark @butterflylion @apollukee @xionysus @ilyluuna @uglyratlmao @iridescentplethora @monosomes @tomowasu @taekookcaneatme @mayumioutloud @rjsmochii @super-btstrash-posts @hellotherehoneybee @betysotelo18 @moon6rop @kxk-soul @honeycutelove @cchristinnaa @io-is-lame @shadowstark @goldenchemistry @incredibleella @sope-and-shine

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years

Text

SEVENTY SIX - OFFICIAL

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 1,750ish

Summary: Spider-Man becomes an official Avenger, or does he?

The next day, I woke up around 10 am, quickly took a shower and got ready. I was so excited to see Peter. It had been a long few weeks and I hadn’t kept him updated, so I knew that he was worried. I ate an early lunch in the kitchen and watched as the reporters got ready for the press conference. Not long after all the reporters had filed into the conference hall, Happy’s black Audi pull up to the compound. Peter stepped out of it. I could feel his amazement as he looked over the facility. Happy led him inside and up the elevator. I snuck down to the floor using a different elevator and hid in the hallway. But I made sure that I was in a good spot so I could see and hear everything. I watched Peter’s amazement of everything around him as he and Happy waited for Tony. Who was fashionably late, as usual.

“You don’t see that every day,” Happy stated, as Peter happily watched a quinjet take off.

“Oh, there they are,” Tony said, strolling into the room. “How was the ride up?”

“Good,” Happy replied.

“Give me a minute with the kid,” Tony requested.

“Seriously?” Happy questioned.

“Yeah.” Tony nodded. “I gotta talk to the kid.”

“I’ll be close behind.”

“How about a loose follow? All right? Boundaries are good.” Tony walked up to Peter and playfully punched his arm, then wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and started walking towards the press hall. “Sorry I took your suit. I mean you had it coming. Actually, it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough-love moment that you needed. Right? To urge you on, right? Wouldn’t you think? Don’t you think?”

“I guess..” Peter nervously said.

“Let’s just say it was,” Tony said and then sighed proudly.

“Mr. Stark, I really—“

“You screwed the pooch hard, big time. But then you did the right thing. Took the dog to the free clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies. All right, not my best analogy… I was wrong about you. I think, with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team.”

“To the— To the team?” Peter stuttered. I smiled at his surprise.

“Yeah. Anyway, there’s about 50 reporters behind that door. Real ones, not bloggers.” Tony tapped on his watch and then the wall they were standing in front of opened up, showing the new Iron Spider suit. “When you’re ready… why don’t you try that on?”

“And I’ll introduce the world to the newest official member of the Avengers: Spider-Man.”

Peter was in awe. The suit was amazing and he obviously didn’t think that he’d be offered a spot on the Team so soon. “I— I—“ Peter nervously laughed, as he walked closer to the new suit.

“Yeah, give that a look. So after the press conference, Happy will show you to your room. Your new quarters.”

“Where’s he between? He’s next to Vision?” Tony turned towards Happy for the answer.

“Yeah, Vision’s not big on doors,” Happy responded.

“It’s fun,” Tony said, looking back at Peter.

“Or walls,” Happy added.

“You’ll fit right in,” Tony said.

Peter was silent for a moment. Not knowing what to say, or how to take it all in. I watched him take a deep breath and turn to look Tony straight in the eyes. I knew exactly what Peter was going to do without having to read his mind.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. But I’m… I’m good.”

Tony was taken back a little. “You’re good? Good…? How are you good?”

“Well, I mean, I’d rather just stay on the ground for a little while. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Somebody’s got to look out for the little guy, right?”

Tony quickly took off his sunglasses. He was in shock, which made me giggle as I watched from the hallway.

“You’re turning me down? You better think about this… Look at that. Look at me. Last chance. Yes or no?”

“No,” Peter quickly replied. I could feel his confidence growing from where I was standing. I was so proud of him.

“Okay. It’s kind of a Springsteen-y, working-class hero vide that I dig. Uh… Happy will take you home. Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Happy said. “Mind waiting in the car? I need a minute.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Peter said sincerely.

I was in a bit of shock and felt so much pride in Peter as I watched all this. No one had ever turned Tony down like that before. I slowly walked out of the hall and stood a little ways behind Happy, waiting for Peter to notice me.

“Yes, Mr. Parker, very well,” Tony said as they shook hands.

“See you around,” Peter said.

“Okay. Oh… And there’s one more thing.” Tony moved his head in my direction as he closed the doors that were open to show the suit.

Peter turned and saw me. “Bailey!” He hurried over to me.

“Peter!” I opened my arms and wrapped him up in them.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay.” He pulled away for a second. “You are okay, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Peter. I’m okay. I can’t believe that you turned Tony down. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“I’m so proud of you.” I pulled him in for another hug and then let go.

“I better go to the car. Don’t want to get in trouble. I’ll talk to you later though?”

“Sure.” I smiled.

Peter started walking away, but then paused for a moment and turned back around. “That was a test, right? Theres, uh, nobody back there?”

“Yes,” Tony quickly lied. “You passed… All right, skedaddle there, young buck. You and my daughter can catch up later.”

“Thank you, Mr, Stark.” Peter turned back around and started jogging out of the room. “We’ll talk later Bailey!”

“Yeah, thank you,” Tony said, as I waved, slowly making my way to where Happy and Tony were standing.

“Told you he’s a good kid,” Happy said.

Tony smirked as he raised his hands and shrugged. I could feel his pride in Peter. He clapped his hands together and I smiled at him. Then one of the press hall doors flew open and Pepper came marching out. Crap. Now we were in trouble.

“Where’s the kid?” She asked.

“He left,” Happy answered.

“Everybody’s waiting,” She said.

“You know… he actually made a really mature choice. Just surprised the heck out of us,” Tony said, motioning to the three of us who just witnessed Peter’s choice.

“Did you guys screw this up?” Pepper asked. She quickly looked at me. “Did they screw this up?”

I laughed and shook my head. “They actually didn’t this time.”

“He told the kid to go wait in the car,” Tony said quickly as he pointed towards Happy.

“Are you kidding me?” Pepper was getting frustrated. “I have a room full of people in there waiting for some big announcement. What am I going to tell them?” She moved closer to the rest of us.

“Think of something. How about…. um… Hap, you still got that ring?”

“Do I—? I—?” Happy stuttered as he started feeling his pockets.

“The engagement ring,” Tony stated. My eyes went wide.

“Are you kidding?” Happy questioned. “I’ve been carrying this since 2008.” Happy found it, holding it up. Pepper wasn’t as excited as I was. And when Tony saw the ring, I could feel that he was a bit scared.

“Okay…” Tony breathed out.

“I think that I can think of something better than that,” Pepper said, not that impressed.

“Well, it would buy us a little time,” Tony said. Pepper smiled and kissed Tony. “Like we need time,” He muttered as they kissed.

I giggled. “Get a room!” I pretended to shield my eyes.

“I can’t believe you’ve had that in your pocket,” Pepper said as she walked towards the press hall doors.

“Want me to get the door for you, hun?” Tony started reaching for it.

“I got it,” Pepper opened the door. Tony grabbed the closing door as Happy tossed the ring to him.

“You coming?” Tony asked me.

I nodded and quietly slipped into the press hall after them. Tony and Pepper made their way to the podium stationed in front and I stayed by the door, hiding in the shadows. I smiled as Tony tapped on the microphone.

“Just testing to see if this actually works,” Tony joked. The reporters laughed. “So… we called you here for a big announcement,” Tony started, he made air quotes around the word ‘big’ as he talked. He glanced over at me and winked. I laughed a little and just shook my head. “And I do have something… important to ask. But I really don’t want to do it behind the podium. So, dear?” Tony held out his hand to Pepper. She grabbed it and Tony led her to the front of the podium.

I started getting really excited, but I knew I had to stay calm to not draw attention to me. No one knew who I was, and it should probably stay that way. At least, until we get things under control. But then, when do we ever have things under control?

“I would like to take a moment to thank Ms. Potts here,” Tony started.

“Tony—“ Pepper quietly whined with a smile plastered on her face.

“Sshh… It’s my turn right now, dear,” He quietly said. But the reporters still heard and some of them laughed. Tony grabbed both of Peppers hands and faced her. “Pepper Potts, there is not enough words in this world to describe how grateful I am for you… Um…” He chuckled nervously. “I promised myself when I was younger, that I wouldn’t tie myself down. I now want— need to break that promise, in front of all these reporters and…” Tony paused. I knew he wanted to mentioned me, but couldn’t. So still holding on of her hands, Tony knelt on one knee and grabbed the ring out of his pant pocket. I heard gasps through out the room. I smiled, tears coming to my eyes. “I love you with all my being. So, Virginia Potts, will you marry me?”

Pepper looked at me and smiled, seemingly asking for my permission to say yes. I quickly nodded before Pepper looked back at Tony to give her answer. “Yes, I will marry you.”

next >

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mchalowitz · 4 years

Text

the process by which time passes

REPOST. you guys. @lilydalexf is the true mvp of this saga. she happened to have the story still open and was kind enough to send it to me. i owe her so much gratitude (as well as the other amazing xf bloggers that reached out to me). although i don’t interact much socially around here, it is amazing to be a part of a fandom that is so kind and supportive! writing xf fic is a creative outlet i enjoy so much and i love sharing it. now back to our regularly scheduled reading. (also if you guys wouldn’t mind boosting this new version so i can see the feedback, i would be so grateful.)

this is something i’ve been writing (at this point) for probably almost a year, which is one reason i’ve been pretty quiet on the fic-posting front. i’m so excited for everyone to finally see it but terrified at the idea that it’s not just an idea that only i know about anymore. it was originally the back half of a wip i abandoned but i couldn’t let this part go. enjoy!!

Mulder gives her a tight hug on the side of a desert highway. Scully presses her forehead to his chest, hoping her thoughts might leave her mind, reach his heart, and convince him to stay. He still gets in the SUV and she never sees him again.

In true Fox Mulder fashion, his physical presence isn’t needed to be a constant reminder. Government officials that she once exchanged pleasantries with at the coffee machine bang down her door and rip apart the life he abandoned.

“Have you heard anything?”

Skinner rifles through papers until the door clicks shut. Her badge feels heavy on her lapel. It feels wrong to be here.

“Only the official warrant,” Skinner answers. That was weeks ago. She has to frequently remind herself that he is doing the best he can. He can’t make it too obvious he’s interested in the hunt. She certainly can’t go digging herself.

“They’re closing the X-files,” he informs her. “There is an appeal process…”

“That’s not necessary,” Scully interrupts. “My assignment was to assess the validity of Mulder’s investigations. There is nothing to assess.”

“You believe in the work.”

“I’m a scientist,” she reminds him, offering nothing else.

Her final report is a jumble of words that states, no matter what she believed, the X-Files should never be reopened.

–

Scully spends idle days breathing in wet air on her mother’s porch. She hopes the sea might soothe her.

A week later, as she plans her return to Washington, she decides emphatically that it did not.

She discovers heart medication in her mother’s bathroom cabinet. Maggie attempts to downplay the circumstances, “It was a blip on a screen, Dana. The doctor said it was just precautionary,” but to Scully, it’s a call to action.

It isn’t difficult to resign. It seemed like it should, after giving the FBI almost a decade of herself, and much, much more than that.

She cries silently in her car after handing over the keys to her dream apartment and saying goodbye to her meticulously curated life.

She reminds herself starting over is the only way to move on. But she isn’t sure she believes it.

–

Scully is a seasoned Special Agent of the FBI, an instructor of pathology, but she struggles to call herself a doctor. After an onslaught of rejected resumes, she begins to believe the medical community of Maryland agrees.

A small hospital outside Baltimore is wowed by her determination alone. At the bottom of the ladder, no one knows the reputation of Agent Scully. She showed promise and expertise in her role, even if her partner was a kook. Dr. Scully has never formally practiced medicine and her bedside manner leaves something to be desired.

Scully hopes for an opening in pathology, where she might be more understood. John From Human Resources hums along with her plight. “I’ll keep an eye out,” he promises.

She begins noticing him behind her in the cafeteria line. On a fall day, she is trying to decide on the best fruit cup when he sides up to her. He is whisper-quiet, conspiratorial in tone when he says, “I wanted to give you a heads up that Dr. Harris may be retiring at the end of the year.”

The may sounds more like an is. A weight inside her lifts.

John assures her she is the first choice when the position officially becomes available. When he leads her to her new office in January, he asks her out to drinks to celebrate, and Scully is surprised, because she forgot people could see her that way.

John is completely unlike anyone else she’s been with. He is endlessly dependable. She never has to worry about where he is because he calls when he’ll be late. He thrives on a fastidious routine and makes safe, informed decisions.

Scully finally moves out of her mother’s house and into a modern three-bedroom she purchases with John. She leads an entirely new life. She climbs the ranks in pathology and is still able to go on real dates, and eat home cooked meals while they’re still hot, and sit in the pew every Sunday. She goes on weekend hikes and uninterrupted trips to the coast and has fine, but not life changing, sex. She accepts John’s proposal on the beach with a beautiful ring.

They have a small wedding. She doesn’t take his last name.

John tries so hard, never asks about her time in the FBI, even tries to adopt a child with her. When it falls through at the last minute, they decide on a dog instead. They get divorced after two years.

In her office one late morning, the phone on her desk lights up. “Dr. Scully, there’s a man on line one asking for you.”

“Thank you,” she says into the speaker. She picks up the receiver with the assumption of a request for a consult. “This is Dr. Scully.”

“Hey, Scully, it’s me.”

She drops the phone.

–

Scully’s stomach is in knots. She is too nervous to order any food. Mulder sits across from her at a diner, looking older and scruffier, and she wonders if this is all a cruel hallucination.

“Where have you been?”

His fingers tap nervously on the table. “Farrs Corner.”

After exploring little towns in the far reaches of nowhere, she remembers that’s Virginia. When she presses for how long, she discovers he’s been within driving distance almost this entire time. Her fingers clench. She wants to strangle him.

“It’s been six years, Mulder. Why now?”

“The FBI dropped the charges against me. I helped them with a case, they wiped the slate clean. I can start my life again, Scully, come back.”

Forget strangle, Scully wants to kill him. He thinks he can just come back? His ignorance to the domino effect of his actions has to be purposeful.

There was a life they wanted to live together that never had the chance to become a reality. She has spent six years trying to fill her life with meaning. Her marriage failed, her career path faltered. They have a child that is no longer theirs.

Scully stands from the booth. She stares down at him, asserts her power.

“I thought you were dead.”

He just nods. He suggests she give him a call, now that she has his number.

She doesn’t.

–

Scully always forgave Mulder too quickly; it was their fatal flaw. She frequently ignored this piece of common knowledge by justifying his more unsavory behavior as residual childhood trauma, or a severe lack of social skills, or plainly being obtuse.

She never found a way to justify him leaving her when she needed him without looking like an emotionally manipulated moron. How could she possibly forgive the embarrassment and isolation she felt after giving up her own child for ostensibly no reason?

Scully bared her soul to him, her body, and gave him everything she had, and she still took a backseat to his quest. There was a brief time where she thought something finally switched in him and the quest would take a backseat to her. In the earliest days of the millenium, working their way up from something undefined to something real.

A month passes. She speaks to no one about her meeting with Mulder, but when she has idle moments, it fills her mind. She tries to remain hot when she begins wondering what Mulder’s life is like now. She attempts to imagine how he filled six years worth of time, because he was never a picture of duality, never able to separate his life from his work, and what can he do after leaving it behind?

It’s a slow burning curiosity. Weeks long. She begins to think he didn’t push during their last meeting because he knew it would happen like this.

She scrolls through recent calls to find the number he left on her office phone. Scully hears the hello in that familiar voice and doesn’t hesitate to respond, “Mulder, it’s me.”

–

Scully sees a dream realized when she pulls up to a little house with a spacious porch on sprawling land. Mulder never liked the city.

He is clearly thrilled to finally present his vegetable garden and his paintings while giving her the grand tour. He recounts putting in the new water heater himself and his plans to replace the roof next spring.

Mulder makes her pasta and gives her the “good chair.” When her stomach is full, they talk about old times. She hasn’t talked about these things in years because she knew there was no one else that can laugh about what she saw instead of instantly recoiling except for the man sitting across from her.

“I have to get back,” she realizes when she sees the sun beginning to set out the window. They spent almost the whole day together. He nods in understanding.

“You see I’m not living in squalor,” he jokes as he walks her to her car.

“It certainly wasn’t the dilapidated hut I was expecting,” she teases. Her tone shifts from silly to serious. “You know, Mulder, after our last meeting, I really didn’t want to come here. I thought…I think you know what I thought. But I’m glad I came.”

“I appreciate any chance you’ll give me, Scully,” he replies.

–

Farrs Corner becomes a regular destination.

Mulder easily becomes the companion she was lacking, the return of the best friend she lost. Even with the passage of time, he still knows her better than anyone else.

She stops offering up her free Friday nights for on-call autopsies and tox screens to watch movies with take-out picked up just before civilization ends.

Without a Saturday shift to spoil their fun, they indulge in the full six pack of their favorite beer. His feet are propped on the coffee table next to their abandoned pizza box, as she folds her legs underneath her on the cushion beside him. She is full-bellied and warm.

“I can’t believe you were married,” he says in disbelief, taking a swig from his bottle. “Considering how many of my proposals you turned down.”

“Maybe I would’ve accepted if any of them had been serious.”

“So you’re saying there was a chance?”

She laughs and nudges his shoulder with the side of her bottle.

When she catches his eye, she sees a person that, yes, she thought she might marry someday. When she was younger, less hard, and had never seen the face of a child that was half him, half her.

She leans forward and presses her lips to his, jerking back as soon as he begins to respond. She tries to find something to say, a reasoning, but she finds his curious gaze, and can’t think of anything to say.

He closes the distance between them and starts where she left off. His kiss is wonderful. It’s hopeful and sexy as all hell.

He nudges her jaw aside with his chin, his mouth seeking out her neck. Her fingers tangle in his hair. “Let’s go upstairs,” he suggests.

–

Standing at the foot of his bed, Scully realizes she’s never been in Mulder’s bedroom before. He has simple furnishings; dark wood and soft blues. His belt clunks when it hits the floor. His bare chest warms her back.

She remembers his warmth, his proclivity to be so tender and gentle, and to let her lead the way. She turns and guides him onto the bed.

Modest kisses quickly turn unrestrained. He breaths in long pants as he shoves her panties down her thighs, letting her kick them over her ankle before hooking them over his hips.

He slips in so easily. Scully explores his changed body; the shifting muscles in his back, his thinner, sweat dampened hair against her hands, his ass clenching as he rocks into her.

Electricity runs through her when his fingers drift to her clit, taking her right to the edge. “Fuck,” he groans, his lips at her ear. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

She moans in utter bliss, deliriously overtaken. When she comes, she shatters. Mulder thrusts two, three times more, before following behind. He spurts hotly into her with growls of satisfaction.

Breathing heavily, they lay bonelessly on their backs. She feels the sweat cooling at her hairline. Her lips break into a big smile and a laugh leaves her lips. His follows and he raises her hand to his lips, feeling his joyous puffs of air against her skin.

“We are still very good at that,” she decides, turning her head toward him.

“You did always bring out the best in me,” he agrees.

Scully finds his boyish nerves when he mentions spending the night charmingly endearing. She wordlessly moves to press herself into his side, clinging to him in answer.

–

Mulder calls their connection cosmic, though Scully doesn’t believe in cosmicity. An otherworldly connect would trivialize their effort so far in their new era.

She worried how they would assimilate into each other’s worlds without the commonality of what easily linked them before. While their forced separation may never be seen as a positive in her eyes, it did allow for the growth to be content in domesticity.

Scully adores the version of Mulder she met over two decades ago. With his unwavering desire for truth and his absolutely brilliant mind. The hours they can spend talking remind her of that man often. They spar as they always did, laugh like no time has passed.

She delights in the side of him that is at peace with the mundane. He likes filling her drawers with clean scrubs, and working in the yard until he returns smelling like freshly cut grass, and giving her drafts of his paranormal mystery novel.

Uncensored honesty is their biggest challenge. It would be so easy to never discuss what plagued them in the past. They finally get to air their fear, their guilt, and their grief. Scully thinks she and Mulder come out better on the other side.

Mulder leads her to the quiet corners of the world, using his freedom to finally venture off his little property. They luxuriate in the Bahamas shortly after their first night together and they start stopping at all the roadside attractions they used to skip. He plans to finally take her to England and show her all the off beaten paths from his youth. She would go anywhere with him.

A beach house in Maine is this weekend’s activity. Scully accidentally leaves her stack of reading on the desk in her office. “I’ll grab them quick and we’ll go,” she promises him, hanging onto the open passenger side window.

“Don’t leave the coast waiting too long,” he teases. “I’m starting to lose my island glow.” She rolls her eyes at him and pushes up on her toes to kiss him briefly.

Though she promises to be quick, Scully still signs into her computer. She printed out the newest articles hastily before an autopsy and notices now that the first ten pages of the article on top are missing. She finds herself drawn to begin reading when she goes to reprint. She pulls out her chair with blind arms, sitting down absently.

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been gone until she sees Mulder enter. “I was starting to think you’d fallen in,” he jokes.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. He brushes off her apology with a wave of his hand, rounding the desk to brace his hand on the back of her chair.

“What are you reading?” he asks.

Case 43-2009. 8-year-old with Brain Scan Abnormalities Presents Potentially Unseen Neurological Disorder.

She breaks her gaze at the screen to bring her eyes up to Mulder.

“We need to find our son.”

#x files #xf fic #fox mulder #dana scully #msr

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theparanormalperiodical · 4 years

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The Real Urban Legend Behind The Grudge (2020) Franchise And The 13 Other Japanese Urban Legends That'll TERRIFY You + Plot Summary And Review

We are living in the age of the reboot.

Maybe it’s our search for nostalgia in a time of Trumpian and post-Brexit uncertainty. Maybe it's a desire to reflect on our past pop culture icons as we enter a new decade. Or maybe it's just a cash grab by greedy producers as they squabble over the latest bonus.

Either way, let’s just hope The Grudge (2020) was better than Cats.

(Spoiler alert: EVERYTHING was better than Cats.)

The first horror film to signal our entrance into the new era was a true champion of the genre, from the ungodly aesthetic to the nothing’s-off-limits Japanese take on the genre.

Dragging herself into the new year - fit with deathly white face, locks of dark hair, and a vocal style that would give Billie Eilish a run for her money - the ghost of Kayako and son, Toshio found a new way to terrify viewers.

And they weren’t even in the movie.

(Here’s the trailer:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo_c5lu0W0k

But the true terror behind the film doesn’t start with you paying that much for a small popcorn and Dr. Pepper.

It doesn’t even end with the credits.

The Grudge - yes, all 11 movies from 2 separate franchises - is actually based on an urban legend that has haunted Japan to this day.

And if that wasn’t enough, the films capture components of paranormal activity that are awfully accurate to real ghost stories that go beyond the borders of the small island nation.

So, as your favourite blogger of all things spooky, I thought I’d take us on the express train to Suginami, Japan, to the house that started it all. Today’s post is going to recap the films, explain why the franchise is freak-a-liciously for-real, and go through the other Japanese urban legends you really don’t want to know about.

What’s The Plot Of The Franchise?

Like most Japanese horror films that have been subject to the American treatment (ahem, The Ring, ahem) too many films have been shat out via the silver screen.

But that’s not to say The Grudge film series isn’t worth a watch.

Nevertheless, to save you 20 hours worth of the same jumpscares, jealous ghosts, and attempts to sound out Japanese names, I thought I’d give you the tl;dr on ‘lil Toshio’s afterlife.

The Grudge franchise is actually made up of two films series: the Ju-On (the original Japanese series made up of 7 films) and the Grudge (the 4 American reboots).

Although the original series follows a much more twisted tale, the American version cuts ‘n’ pastes a couple of scenes from the original scripts replays them in the English language. But nevermind the ogre-like layers of films - the premise is the same in each film:

A curse - also known as the Ju-On - created in a house destroys everyone that comes in contact with it. The curse is reborn with every person that encounters it and is passed like a virus among family members.

Question is, where does this curse come from?

The story goes that a happy family were livin’ their bestest life when some bloke called Takeo believed his wife Kayako was having an affair with their son’s teacher.

In a fit of rage, he kills Kayako, Toshio (their son), and their pet cat.

According to the canon, when someone is murdered whilst angry or jealous, a curse is born and gathers where they died. The curse (or the haunting) then repeats itself, killing anyone that comes into contact with it.

“Hol’ up - a woman with a chilling pale face, a mop of black hair, a curse that kills everyone that comes near it… Doesn’t this sound a tad familiar?”

Yes, the Grudge series is basically the domestic abuse version of The Ring…

(Which you can read all about here - including the terrifying true stories behind it)

But did you know that it’s supposed to be?

The brains behind the Japanese-American franchise, Takashi Shimizu, was not only inspired and assisted by the brains behind Sadako’s tragic story, but also took inspiration from things that had haunted him throughout his own life:

He cites dancers painting their nude bodies white as the basis of the aesthetic for the film as made evident by the lookbooks of the leading roles, and noted that around the time of watching said dancers there was a notable rise in the number of domestic abuse cases.

Urban legends or domestic abuse - which scares you more?

Regardless of the backstory to the big screen, what actually happens in the films?

Here’s a quick summary of the Ju-On film series:

The series starts with a handful of abstract short films which dip into the hauntings, then evolving into a couple straight-to-dvd movies. Think Bring It On but with more dead people and less Rihanna.

Following on from their success, the cinematic hit Ju-On: The Grudge was sent to the big screen.

This is where the story properly starts.

(Here’s the trailer:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYyPTyXlT9w

We finally see Kayako’s and Toshio’s story unfold and the curse attach to all those that come to the house. And this starts with social worker, Rika Nishina, who was summoned after the former social worker mysteriously disappeared.

As with all horror films, paranormal activity goes down, and Rika discovers the truths behind the house. But unlike the other films which just explore the hauntings of the families that just so happen to enter the house, this film explores the rebirth of the curse.

The basis of this film is that Rika is set to die the same way Kayako did and fulfil the Ju-on. At the same time the powers of the curse are further unleashed as its time travelling capabilities are uncovered: a victim from a past film sees her father just before he encountered Kayako himself, even though he died years before.

The next film - the final one is the Japanese franchise - sticks to this theme of rebirth, and sticks to it quite literally.

It starts with a pregnant actress who gets in a car accident caused by Toshio and miscarries.

Well, she thinks she has. A doctor does doctor stuff and discovers she is still carrying a healthy child, but this baby ain’t no normal baby. It’s Kayako.

Good luck getting on Maury with that.

It is then uncovered that she worked for a paranormal documentary TV show that visited the house haunted by the curse.

This is confirmed years later, when a young Kayako pushes her mother off an overpass and kills her. The last we see of this franchise is the young girl wandering off into the distance.

Now it’s America’s turn. Here’s a rundown of the Grudge film series:

The first film is a reboot of the Japanese Ju-On: The Grudge, but this time its horror-film-fave Sarah Michelle Gellar who is stepping up to the plate as Karen (aka Rika). But this time Buffy Karen burns the house down at the end of the film.

(Or does she?)

(Oh and here’s the trailer I’m just Oprah for trailers today:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC3bzK_i9_s

The sequel then follows a school girl who is pressured to enter the house by her friends a la every urban legend ever. But this time, Kayako hits the road and follows her back to Chicago, cursing her apartment. And the schoolgirl ain’t the only one struggling with spooky stuff.

When Karen falls from a hospital roof and dies, Karen’s younger sister investigates the circumstances of her death and stumbles into the legend. This time she attempts to stop the curse.

4 more films follow this movie, and all stick to the recipe of schoolgirls daring to go into the house or people being through from hospital roofs.

No, I’m being serious.

The final film prior to the latest reboot takes a different turn, however, and takes inspiration from The Ring to a whole new level. Sadako vs. Kayako is a crossover of these iconic female spirits, and climaxes in the spirits merging into the ultimate ghost: Sadakaya.

What Happens In The Grudge (2020)?

The film follows 4 different families as they encounter the curse, creating a domino effect that ties each of the stories together. The thing is, only one family actually encounters Kayako and the original haunting that made this franchise famous.

Nevertheless, in true Grudge style, Kayako possesses the mother of a family who then goes on to kill her family members.

These ghosts then begin to haunt the following inhabitants of the house and affect all those connected to it. For each story, someone either ends up in an asylum, or kills their entire family, or some chaotic cocktail of the two.

When I first heard a new Grudge was set to hit the big screen, I was honestly a bit surprised; I hadn’t heard anyone mention it!

The thing is, I only found this out last week, a whole month after it first premiered.

I was shooketh.

How had I heard f*ck all about it? Unfortunately, there’s good reason for that:

A unanimous decision has labelled this film a sequence of boring, dull, thin plots all tied together with a smile depressing aesthetic. No, the reviewers did not hold back.

"I saw this movie in the middle of the day, having had a great night's sleep, and I had to slap myself awake a few times."

Nevertheless, The Grudge (2020) does buck the trend of former films, introducing a new plot style and welcoming a new brand of paranormal activity we haven’t seen fall under the franchise just yet.

But honestly, the franchise - like all horror films - gets messy, twisting into a mop of black hair and a sound byte of a death rattle on a loop.

All you really need to know is there’s a spooky-ass house with some dead-ass people and you either die or end up in a mental hospital.

And it's not like any horror film has ever done that before, right?

But even if the films aren’t keeping you up tonight, the story it's based on should do the trick - especially considering the films portray it so damn accurately…

What’s The Urban Legend That The Films Based On?

The Grudge franchise might not go down in horror history for a dense plot chock-full of cinematic innovation, but there’s no doubt that Kayako and Toshio will.

The thing is, the characters of this iconic franchise all started as real people with real lives. Well, as real as an urban legend can make them out to be, that is.

The story goes that Kayako grew up neglected by the members of her family, retreating into her shell and becoming shy. And so, she would write diaries to keep herself company.

In one of these entries from when she was younger, she mentioned a crush.

Flash forward to years later, and she’s married with a child. Problem is, her husband, Takeo, stumbles upon one of these diaries, and believes she’s having an affair.

So, like all rational people, he decides to kill her and his son, Toshio.

How he kills her is a little confused, but we know that at some point she tries to crawl down the stairs and escape, at some point Kayako and Toshio are drowned in a bathtub, and at some point Takeo gets strangled by Kayako with her hair.

Either way they are all very dead.

But it's Kayako that returns from the afterlife as the vengeful ghost we all know and love.

And that’s because Kayako fits perfectly within Japanese folklore, and is an onryo - a vengeful ghost.

“Hold up - does that mean Sadako/Samara is one of these onryos?”

Nope - Sadako is a yurei, which you can learn all about here.

An onryo is a spirit from japanese folklore, or, more specifically, a ghost that has often been wronged by brutal men. And Kayako is far from alone in the afterlife:

Oiwa has earned her name as the most famous onryo to haunt Japanese literature, and claimed her title by being murdered by her unfaithful husband whilst she was pregnant. At first he tried poison, but she survived the attempt - it just disfigured her face and made her miscarry.

To complete the attack he pushed her off the cliff. And yes, that did the job.

Or did it?

Oiwa returned as a vengeful ghost who sought to destroy him and everyone around him.

Sound familiar?

So we know that Kayako’s story doesn’t fall too far from the urban legend inspiring the films, nor the reality of domestic abuse in society - is there anything else that is uncomfortably real about the movies?

*Nods head*

They hit the paranormal activity dead on.

(Emphasis on the dead bit.)

How Accurate Is The Paranormal Activity?

I could rattle off the movies minute by minute and explain why that door creaking is, like, totally accurate to supernatural theories. But even as a paranormal blogger, I’m not that sad.

(Yet.)

However, there are 2 key pieces of the paranormal that I wanted to explore to confirm that these films are c-ree-pily real.

1. Possession by a yurei or onryo

Most horror films tend to follow the same ‘ol trajectory:

There is ghost. Ghost does ghosty things. People are scared of ghost. Ghost possesses one of the people.

All the writers have to do is fill in the blanks.

The thing is, this only happens a couple times in this franchise, most notably in the 2020 reboot. But it got me thinking:

The whole point of Sadako and Kayako - although different kinds of spirits - is that they want to spread dread and darkness, and that at some point they simply want to be reborn to ensure their ambitions are met.

But aside from waving a rather mangled feminist flag, they don’t fill in the blanks like most horror films. Possession by onryo is supposedly possible, however, and has even been captured by a rather famous if lacking-in-detail case:

Hirotsugu possessed some bloke called Genbo way-back-when and affected his health. Yeah, that’s about it.

2. Residual hauntings

Another theory the franchise taps into is that of time travel which is known amongst paranormal fanatics like me as a residual haunting.

Also known as Stone Tape theory, this is belief that events with a high energy atmosphere can imprint onto the surroundings like rocks, objects, furniture, and maybe even houses.

Ever heard of Borley Rectory? What about Bethnal Green Underground?

These are just a few cases of residual hauntings from which these events are replayed in a haunting fashion.

The 13 Other Japanese Urban Legends That Should Make You Avoid Visiting Asia In The Near Future In Case You Encounter The Slit-Mouthed Woman

Trips to Tokyo, breakfast under sweeps of cherry blossom trees, walks around the temples of Kyoto.

Japan knows how to showcase its culture.

But your next trip to this island in the Pacific might leave you a little more terrified than tourist. And given the size of the island, I don’t think you can hop on a tram without bumping elbows with some legend conjured up from the darkest recesses of the web.

In that case, grab your fanny pack and chuck your passport in the hotel safe - let’s find us an urban legend!

#1 - Aka Manto // Red Cloak

Our first legend haunts toilets. No, I’m not kidding. He’s not even the only Japanese urban legend that specifically haunts the bogs!

This urban legend reportedly haunts the last stall in bathrooms and is cloaked in a red cape.

The story goes that, whilst your mid-shit, he will offer you red or blue toilet paper. Whichever one you pick decides on how you die. If he offers you yellow, however, he will just shove your head down the shitter.

To avoid either of those fates, don’t pick any toilet paper. Just ignore, and escape.

Drip dry; don’t die.

#2 - Hanasako-san // Hanako Of The Toilet

Our next bathroom related urban legend is clearly much more explicit about her haunting, but bears a striking resemblance to her male counterpart.

With pale skin and a red uniform, she hides in the 3rd bathroom stall, but doesn’t offer you any TP.

Instead, you should knock on the stall door 3 times, ask if she’s there, and wait for her to whisper and confirm her presence. Well, that or she’ll stay silent which is really helpful.

Anyway, once you’ve alerted her that you’re there, she will straight up drag you to hell.

Okay, fine, the legend sounds simplistic - I mean, you do just go to hell - but her backstory is slightly more imaginative. There’s actually 2 potential tales that explain her haunting:

The first is that he hid in the bathroom during a bombing in WW2 and the building collapsed around her; or she was bullied and committed suicide in the bathroom.

(I mean, I don’t know what you expected, its an urban legend, okurr, shits gon’ be depressing.)

#3 - Jinmenken // Human-Faced Dog

Let’s lighten things up, shall we? I think a comedic dog with the face of a human which is popularly spotted by surfers mid-joint should do the trick...

Jinmenken are dogs with human faces often seen in urban areas. Not only can they talk, they can also be rude - and specifically homophobic - according to some reports.

The most popular sightings can be traced back to surfers in the 1950s, but the most famous tale can be found in 1810 from which one was supposedly exhibited at a museum.

Gnarly, bro.

#4 - The Cursed Kleenex Advert

This urban legend has already featured in one of my posts as an iconic cursed video, but here’s the lowdown for people that don’t waste their time looking this up:

A Kleenex advert was released in the 1980s in Japan and featured some rather odd goings-on.

There was a baby painted red like an ogre and sitting on a bed of straw, there was german music singing ‘die’ repeatedly, and there was the sudden deaths or spiralling of all of the film crew and actors into mental health crises.

You know, the usual marketing campaign.

Oh, and I nearly forgot - everyone that watched it had sudden suicidal thoughts!

It was quickly pulled from air due to complaints, and is now known simply as an urban legend.

*mysterious pipe music plays in the distance*

#5 - Kuchisake-onna // The Slit-Mouthed Woman

Equally as famous as Kleenex firing most of their TV advertising department (before they all died, anyway) is the slit-mouthed woman, an onryo just like the main characters of The Grudge.

A woman (gasp) supposedly wanders the streets of Japan, and, in the dark of the night, wanders up to those walking alone.

She then asks them how she looks.

If you react with disgust, she will kill you via the scissors she just so happens to have on her. If you react positively and clearly think she's beautiful, she will smile weirdly at you, revealing the slits giving her a permanent smile and repeat the question. If you compliment her, she will give you the same cuts that have slit open a permanent smile.

If you say she looks average or distract her with food or sweets you will be free to go.

And the moral of this story?

We are all beautiful in our own way. Also pls don’t kill me.

#6 - Benzaiten’s Curse

Benzaiten is the goddess of everything that flows: time, water, knowledge, the linings of my womb from my nether-regions every 5 weeks.

But, as made clear by the latter, she isn’t necessarily a positive force. Let’s say you take your partner to the Imokashira pond for a romantic row across the river. As the pond and the park containing it are full of her shrines, for some reason she takes delight in ending relationships.

Jealous of the happy couples enjoying the peace of the park, she curses them, leaving them to split down the middle.

Mwahaha?

#7 - Kunekune // Wriggling Body

There’s no backstory, there’s no explanation, and there’s no evidence of the kunekunes. But this doesn’t stop this story being perhaps the most chilling to haunt this blog.

Kunekunes are slender white figures that stand tall on fields, lingering in the distance.

Get too close? You go insane.

Touch one? You dead.

It is believed that this legend could be linked to claims of scarecrows coming to life at night or if you stare at them too long, but regardless of where it evolved from, this shizz be spooky.

#8 - Teke Teke

Got any more room for another onryo? Good. ‘Cause this one involves a woman who was sliced in half by a train.

Having fallen on a railway and lost her legs to the accident, it is claimed she drags her torso along with her arms, her elbows making the noise titling the legend.

Don’t fancy an encounter with her? Stay away from urban areas. But if she does happen to, uhh, bump into you, here’s what you have to do to avoid your legs being scythed off.

(Actually, sorry to interrupt - how in the hell does she do that like surely a scythe is a long boi and like shes only got her arms as her height so how does this work)

She will ask you where her legs are and you either have to tell her that they are on the Meichin Railway or say in perfect Japanese “mask death demon”.

And no, I don’t think she allows you time to pull up Google Translate.

Oh, and I also just found out that anyone that learns of her story will encounter her within one month. Soz.

#9 - Kāneru Sandāsu no Noroi // The Curse Of The Colonel

Honestly, this be a fucking meme. Like this is hilarious.

This is why I started this blog: for ghosts, for horror films, and for curses relating to fast food restaurants.

The story goes that in 1985 the Hanshin Tigers basketball team won the Japan Championship series. On the night they won, a statue of Colonel Sanders - yep, the KFC guy - was thrown into a river.

Since 1985 they haven’t won the series, something that has been attributed to the bad luck from the statue still being in the river.

In 2009, they began to recover their lucky charm, and all they need now is to find a hand and his glasses.

#10 - Cow Head

Sure, this urban legend might not have a descriptive title, but it is probably the most perplexing. Heck, there are even two stories behind it, both of which I assume are related.

The first claims that a teacher once told his students a story of ‘Cow Head’. They all began to experience strange symptoms over the following days, from seizure-like shaking to their eventual deaths. This slow demise is traced to the story, but only fragments are available to find.

(And, because I’m only gonna let you be haunted by teke teke, I thought I’d let you find that one out for yourself cause I’m nice and also scared.)

The other side of the story goes a little something like this:

A town is cursed after they eat the head of a cow.

Yeah, that's the end of the story.

Or maybe the urban legend is from Ukrainian folklore? A woman received good fortune after offering shelter to a disembodied cow head.

#11 - Kokkuri

This is a classic: it's basically a Japanese ouija board.

A favourite among high school students searching for a quick buzz, all this requires is someone that can write out hangara symbols and someone else willing to cough up a coin.

And all you have to do is ask kokkuri-san a question. Well, the question might go unanswered - they can only tell you of your death.

If you do so happen to stumble into a sesh, make sure you say goodbye to kokkuri-san, spend the coin she used to point out the answer, and use us all the ink from the pen used to draw the symbols.

Other than that, you’re good to find out when you’ll meet the Grim Reaper!

#12 - Kisaragi Station

This one’s fresh from the new age of the urban legend.

It’s 2002, and we are probably on some dodgy 4-chan-before-4-chan website.

The story is pretty simple, and claims there is a railway station that is unmarked on maps which someone has reportedly visited. This unmanned station is spook central, with the name of the station roughly translating to ‘demon station’.

The original story claimed a commuter train which normally frequently stopped took a different route and only a few other passengers - all fast asleep - were on board.

No taxis, no buildings, no guards, no timetables…

All aboard the not-sleeping-ever-again train!

#13 - Hasshaku-sama

Similar to the urban legend previously described, this is ripped fresh from the early days of the web.

It is claimed that a woman towering over 2 metres tall attempts to lure young people into the arms of death, mimicking the voices of their family members. Or, in more simple terms, if she likes you, you gon’ die.

The story attempts to explain her backstory, claiming she might be a divine spirit, or that she is attached to a village the protagonist of the urban legend must escape to avoid her powers.

Who Else Ain’t Sleeping Tonight?

(Or taking a bath/shower/going into the bathroom ever again?)

And which urban legend traumatised you the most?

Why not fall further down the rabbit hole and check out my other articles exploring the reality behind your fave horror flicks?

And while you’re there, be sure to hit follow to see a new ghost story everyday.

(Also this is now you trying to live life but now thinking about the urban legends I told you about lol c ya byeeeeeee)

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stringnarratives · 4 years

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2020: A Spaced Out Odyssey

[This post brought to you spoiler free and full of the blogger’s personal experience!]

Back in mid-March, my boyfriend (who we’ll refer to as T in the blog from here on out) and I had dinner with two of his friends who had come into town for a quick trip to see family. They’d pushed tables together to make enough room for all seven of us in a crowded restaurant, where the music was too loud and the food was just okay, and the conversation turned immediately to the oncoming pandemic and didn’t leave the whole evening.

He and I peeled off later that night to see a 10 p.m. showing of “The Hunt,” and as we walked back out to the car afterwards, he said, “Well, what did you think of the last movie we’ll ever see in a theater?”

I groaned, and said something like, “I sure hope that wasn’t it.” (Not because I didn’t like it, but mostly because I spent the whole time distracted, wondering if Betty Gilpin and Sandra Bullock are sisters. Spoiler alert: They are not, they’re just two strangers who resemble each other to an almost eerie extent.)

It’s six months later, and he was proved wrong… but only barely. The week we were scheduled for a socially-distanced rendezvous with the same friends who’d come back to town (sadly postponed because of an ironically non-COVID health risk), we sat down to a showing of “Tenet.”

It was the one movie that we had mutually agreed to “risk our lives for,” when theaters shut down within a few weeks of our last visit. I came prepared with a mask, my own packet of anti-bacterial wipes, a determination to sit in the very back row where no one could breathe on our heads, and a pounding anxiety that was only relieved when we finally rolled out of the theater two-odd hours later.

The movie was fine, it was good. John David Washington is obviously brilliant — my top nomination the next time James Bond is up for grabs — and Robert Pattinson continues to cement himself as T’s celebrity guy crush. The story was convoluted but entertaining, as one can expect from a Christopher Nolan film at this point. The cinematography and choreography were art in and of themselves, and the effects were the emotional equivalent of seeing your first magic show as a small child.

And yet, there I was, mangling my boyfriend’s hand like a crazy person because something that had once felt not only safe but comforting, something we’d done multiple times a week just a year ago, was suddenly this alien experience.

It was only the most recent point of reflection on how stories, and how I’ve consumed them and reacted to them, have changed over the course of… to put it mildly, a long and difficult year.

I consider myself an escapist, both in my consumption of stories and my creation of them. I read, I write, I watch, I listen, I draw to buoy myself as a person easily overwhelmed by the stress of being a real human being. But more and more over the past six months, their purpose has changed, even as I find my interest and ability to focus waning.

I’ve started more books than I can count, and aborted 90 percent of them within the first 100 pages. More often than not, I find myself opting for a meditation track or ASMR video during work time than binging a new TV series. If a movie isn’t emotionally extreme in some direction (hello “Spree,” and most recently “Child’s Play,” which I have spent the last 20 years absolutely terrified to watch), I have a difficult time maintaining attention.

I suppose this is just part of living through a pandemic, one thing among many that has changed. It’s frustrating, but what isn’t at this point? It’s tiring, but that’s not unique either.

Maybe it’s a natural reaction to a world that most days feels more like fiction anyway. Maybe it’s burnout from the first three months of intense lockdown that we experienced where I live, where there wasn’t much to do but stream stories into your eyeballs and wait to make a bi-weekly trip to the grocery store. Maybe it’s disinterest as a child of grief, the cycle of tangible and intangible loss that I think has plagued most of us this year.

But whatever it is, I think it belongs here.

This is the first in a series of posts about how this year has changed my relationships to stories. I don’t know how many there will be, or when they will be.

All I know for sure is that it’s been a year, and I think, just maybe, I’m ready to write about it.

#2020 #Corona Virus #Films #Movies #Cinema #Tenet #The Hunt

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thejilyship · 5 years

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Now That I Saw You

If you can believe it, this was not supposed to be this long. I don’t think I’ve ever said that about anything I’ve written, so I can tell that you’re all surprised. :/

But I was pleasantly surprised by this little fic. I didn’t remember writing it, but I just went back to read it, and I kind of love it. I currently have very vague and far off plans for a part two. If it works out how I want it to, it’ll be out sometime in December for a nice Christmasy feel.

WC: 3k

ff.net | AO3

James had been at least 73% annoyed and frustrated since Lily had declared that it was probably time that they ended this fake relationship that they had toted around all summer.

It had been good for the both of them, having a partner to attend events with, having someone who was equally as appealing to the gossip mags and high society bloggers. All they had to do was hold hands and laugh in a public space and their faces would get splashed all over the internet and page six.

But the season was over, and the only thing that could get them anymore publicity at this point, was to break up in public. A nice big fight, something vague that didn’t spread the blame to unevenly on one person or the other. They were both going to have to walk away looking sympathetic, which wasn’t always easy, but they had sat down and come up with a pretty solid plan. There would be no ‘other person’ there would be no backstabbing or need for revenge. It would be a nice clean break where they angrily fell out of love.

It was a good plan.

James had told Lily that he thought it was a good plan when they’d finished with it. But then she’d hugged him goodbye before getting into her town car and he felt like kicking the fire hydrant.

Sirius was annoyed with him for being so annoyed, Peter had taken to leaving the room whenever James came in and Remus had just avoided coming over at all these last few days. He might have had a valid reason, but James was 73% annoyed and frustrated and so he couldn’t think of one. He just thought his friends were being arseholes.

The day that they were meant to break up was the last big party of the season, Labor Day weekend. And after that, everyone was going to fly back to their country homes where the new season would begin, with new people and new events and no Lily.

He wasn’t completely thick, he knew that he was as annoyed and frustrated as he was, because he didn’t want to say goodbye to Lily. She’d grown on him over the course of the summer, her and her endearing snorty laughter and argumentative nature and she always told the most ridiculous jokes that she laughed at just as much as anyone else did. She was kind and outspoken and full of life and he didn’t want to pretend to break up with her, because he wanted to be dating her for real.

So he wasn’t completely thick, because he knew all of that. But he was a little thick, because he hadn’t done anything about it.

No, he hadn’t done the only obvious thing that one should do in this situation.

He hadn’t told Lily.

And while the thought of telling her that he harbored actual feelings for her was utterly mortifying, he knew that he should for two reasons.

The first, being that he was going mad not telling her. It was really draining to sit on these feelings while pretending to have fake romantic feelings for her in public and then pretending to have only friendly feelings toward her in private.

And the second reason being, because he had nothing to lose. If she didn’t have feelings for him, then they would part ways same as if he had said nothing. Nothing harmed but his ego. And perhaps his own feelings, but being brave in the face of one’s heart was necessary on occasion.

And Lily wasn’t thick either. While she did seem completely oblivious to his feelings, she was not oblivious to the cooler side he’d taken with her, or his snappish remarks. He was no longer his cheerful self around her, and she was getting annoyed with him too.

“Look,” She’d said when they were having lunch last week at her place. They were at her place instead of out and about because it was just as good for their story to have people see him coming and going from her apartment. He’d even spent a few nights on her couch so that he could be seen leaving her place early in the morning. She’d stay out in the living room with him, bowls of junk food passed between them as they watched trashy reality tv and laughed about how they were fooling the world.

“I don’t know if I did something to offend you, but you don’t need to treat me like this. If you want to act all annoyed in public, that’s one thing, it’ll make people speculate that we’re about to end things, but no one else is here right now James,” She motioned to her empty dining room. “It’s just you and me. So cut it out, or leave.”

He left.

The next time they had seen each other, Lily was as equally annoyed as he was, and they ended up arguing over where they should go to dinner in front of a well-hidden blogger. News of their bickering spread rapidly over the next couple of days, which only annoyed Lily more, even though she’d said that she would be alright with them getting caught bickering in public.

It became a game of escalation. He’d push her buttons and she’d rip out his circuit breaker. She’d rip the tablecloth off the table and he’d go for the rug under her feet.

And that’s where they were when they arrived at the end of season Labor Day party. Spitting mad and itching to fight.

She looked absolutely stunning in her white sundress, but he would be loathed to tell her that now. Her hair was half up and she hadn’t straightened it, so she looked like she belonged here on this beach. Perhaps at any moment she would transform into a mermaid and just jump into the sea.

But again, there would be no compliments from him tonight.

He walked along next to her, trying not to pout as she appeared to float. He tried to exchange pleasantries with the people who greeted him, and he tried to keep a smile on his face.

“Would you stop that,” Lily elbowed him as she led them both over to the drink table. “You look like you’ve been kicked.”

“Elbowed, not kicked,” He said, rubbing the spot on his arm where her elbow had hit him.

“Honestly, James,” She shook her head. “I don’t know what’s come over you, but you’ve been acting like a child for weeks now. Today is the last day, alright? After this you’ll never have to see me again.”

The way she said it made his blood boil. Like disappearing from his life was a fucking favor that he asked for. Like she didn’t care one way or the other. Like this was what he wanted.

If he was calmer, he would have realized that she had every reason to think that this was what he wanted, he had been acting like a child for a couple of weeks now. If he had just been honest with her from the beginning, then there would be no need for all of this arguing and fighting and frustration.

If he had been honest, he wouldn’t have dug himself into the hole he was in now.

He stood up straighter and walked over to the bar, ordering a rum and coke, downing the entire thing without leaving the bar and then ordering a second, and a dry martini for Lily. He picked up both drinks and went off to find her.

She was seated on a white couch on the edge of the deck laughing at something Marlene McKinnon was saying. James forced himself to smile and took a seat next to Lily, “Darling,” He said quietly, holding out the drink.

“Thank you, love,” She said, and he could see the look in her eye letting him know that she thought she had won something. She thought that he was going to behave now because she had scolded him.

That didn’t sit right with him either.

And perhaps that’s when he decided that he wasn’t going to break up with her today. No, if she wanted to end things with him, then he would make it as difficult for her as he could. She wouldn’t be walking away looking very sympathetic.

The party carried on and James felt himself start to relax now that he had a plan that would throw Lily for a loop. Perhaps it wasn’t fair of him, but the more rum and coke he drank, the more he thought it was entirely fair of him.

He asked her to dance when the music came on, he kept bringing her drinks and sweets, he kept reaching for her hand or putting an arm around her. And all the while, he could see her getting more and more confused. They were supposed to be building up to a breakup and James was acting more in love with her than he had at any point in the last two weeks.

“I’m glad you got rid of the bug that was living in your arse,” She whispered as he leaned over to kiss her temple. “But you’re laying it on a bit thick now, don’t you think?”

He laughed as though she’d just said something teasing and cute and pulled back, “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”

“Don’t be a dick, James,” She said, her smile not slipping in the slightest.

He pressed his lips together and tossed back the rest of his drink. “Right, my sincerest apologies.”

“You two are just too cute!” Dorcas Meadows walked up to them with Gwen and Hestia Jones on her heels. “Power couple of the season, right girls?”

“Oh yes,” They both twittered, and James wanted to know if these girls knew that his and Lily’s relationship was as fake as their smiles were. Was anyone actually in love in the Hamptons or was it all just for show?

“I can’t believe her,” Lily huffed, seeing right through Dorcas’ fake compliments. “She’s only mad because the charity ball that we hosted raised more money than hers did. She might have raised more if she had chosen a real charity though,” Lily finished off her drink as well and then set down the glass.

“Right,” James nodded. “Didn’t she want to start a fund to make fur coats for hairless cats too? She’s ridiculous, Lily. Same as nearly everyone else here.”

Lily looked at him, holding back a laugh. He could tell because her eyes got wide for just a moment and her lips were pressed firmly together. She cleared her throat. “I forgot about the hairless cats.” She said, slowly nodding her head. He felt like kicking himself. How had things gotten so bad between them? She didn’t even feel like she could laugh in front of him anymore.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road before people start leaving,” She said, pushing herself off the railing they were leaning on. “We’ll go over near the band where more people will see us, but fewer people will be able to hear what we’re saying.”

“I don’t think we should go near the band,” James said, shaking his head. “We should probably go to the middle of the room. That’s where-“

“No, people would be listening too closely if we were in the middle of the room.” She cut him off as she looked around the room.

“We could just start arguing here.” He said, but he was fairly sure that she wasn’t listening to him. He reached over and took her hand. She turned to look at her. “We had a good summer, yeah? These last couple of weeks not withstanding?”

She narrowed her brows at him. “We were having a great summer until you decided to be an arse.”

“I don’t think I was the only one who decided to be an arse.” She had kicked him out of her house instead of asking him what was wrong. Or at least, that’s how he was choosing to remember it.

“Gee, thanks, James. I’m going to remember you so fondly.” She squeezed his hand a bit harder than necessary and then started to lead him across the deck, toward the band. James had been planning for them to be in the middle of the room, but he supposed the band would do just as well.

He plastered a love drunk smile on his face and let her lead him through the crowd. When they reached the band, she rounded on him with a look on her face that was a perfect blend of angry and heart broken. James felt his breath get caught in his throat. He squeezed her hand and stepped closer, reaching up and cupping her face. “I’ve decided that I don’t want to do this.” He said quietly. “I don’t care about the publicity or what people think, I don’t want to do this.”

She narrowed her brow and shook her head. “No, you promised. We’ve known all season that this is how this would end, James. I’ve no qualms about making you the bad guy here if you refuse to play along.”

“Fine,” He sighed. “You want to create a spectacle? You want to give them all something to talk about for the off season? Then that’s what we’ll do.” He let go of her and took a step back, looking her over for a minute as he steeled himself for what he was about to do. He watched her clench her fists at her sides and he grinned at her before turning toward the band and stepping up onto the stage.

“James?” He heard her warning tone but ignored it.

“I’m so sorry,” He said to the band as they petered off in their playing, giving him looks of confusion. “Do you mind if I borrow this for a moment?” He asked, pointing at the microphone. They looked at each other and then one of them shrugged and motioned for him to go ahead.

By the time he stepped up to the microphone, most of the room was already quiet. They had seen him step up, they had noticed the music stop, and now they were all looking at him expectantly, excitedly.

“Good evening everyone,” He said, hearing his heart pounding in his ears. He was about 99% frustrated and annoyed now. And it was all Lily’s fault. She had her plans and she wouldn’t listen to him, so if he had to hijack things to get a word in, that that’s what he would do. “I promise not to steal too much of your evening, but I have a few things that I’d like to say, and since you have all been with Lily and I throughout the summer, I wanted you all to be a part of this,”

There was a collective intake of breath as some of the party goers started to speculate about what he was going to say. James chanced a look at Lily, and while her arms were crossed over her chest, she had managed to wipe all emotion from her face entirely.

“Lily and I have grown up in your company, you’ve all been with us for so long. And this summer you got to see us fall in love. We’d always ran on the outside of the same circle before this summer, and so while I’ve always noticed how beautiful she was, it had been from afar. And then our good friend, Remus,” He found Remus in the crowd, he was standing near the back of the deck with Peter and Sirius and nodded at him, looking entirely gob smacked. “Remus had the good sense to get the two of us in the same room and the rest is history.” He looked at Lily again, his smile growing as he noticed her cheeks were staining red. Perhaps she still hadn’t figured out where he was going, perhaps she thought he might have opted for an extra public break up.

He debated for just a moment if that’s what he should do instead. But then he pressed on. “Finding Lily has been the greatest joy in my life thus far. Learning what will make her laugh and what will make her scoff, taking the time to memorize her favorite foods, drinks, candies, shoes,” He paused to allow the room to laugh, which they did. “It’s all been an adventure that I wouldn’t trade for anything.” Now he turned to Lily.

“My darling,” He let his hand jump up to his hair now, it’s where it wanted to be, and it made everything seem more authentic. “I don’t want this summer to end. I know that we have only been dating for a few short months, but I have never been more certain about anything than I am about you.” He had no idea where he was pulling all this bullshite from, but he kept on going. “From the first time we danced, I knew that I wanted to hold you in my arms for the rest of my life. From the first time we kissed, I knew that you were it for me. Will you join me up on stage for a moment?” He reached out a hand and was almost shocked to find that she looked to be on the verge of tears as she reached out to take his hand.

She stepped up onto the stage and kept her hand in his. “Lillian Jane Evans,” He kept his eyes locked on hers while he made sure that his voice still projected throughout the venue. “Will you marry me?”

The resounding gasp of excitement throughout the room was almost enough to drown out Sirius’ bewildered exclamation of quite the expletive.

Lily, pro that she was, waited until the crowd had gone quiet again before she answered. She started nodding, letting some of the tears spill over onto her cheeks. “Yes,” She said, reaching up her free hand to wipe at the tears. “Yes, James, of course I will.” And then she threw her arms around his neck.

James felt a bit dumbstruck now. She wasn’t supposed to say ‘yes.’

“You’re going to regret this,” Lily whispered in his ear. “I’m going to make damn well sure that you regret this.” And then she pulled back, beaming at him and James felt the threat all the way in his bones.

What the bloody hell had he gotten himself into?

#my fic #jily #jilytober #au jily #jily fic #james potter #lily evans #fake dating #fake engagement #high brow au #i don't know if that's a thing

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lolita-tips · 5 years

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Where have I been?

I originally wrote this up as a script intended for a youtube video explaining where I’ve been and why I haven’t been keeping up with things very well but I haven’t been able to bring myself to get in front of a camera. I thought I would at least make it into a post to sort of give you all an idea of what’s going on. I’ll put it all under a read-more though since it turned out pretty long.

Hi, I’m Averie. I’m 26 years old and I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about my life lately. I’ve been running Lolita Tips for eight years now but in the last year or so I’ve been a bit removed from it, definitely more than I’d like to be and I sort of feel guilty about it. I keep trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t feel bad, but it’s important to me and there are a lot of people I feel like I’m letting down by not posting more regularly. I guess I just want to talk a bit about where I’ve been and what I’ve been going through.

Last year I officially moved out of my parents’ place and into my boyfriend’s house. Really it was his parents’ house and for the first few months we actually lived here with them which was a bit of a nightmare for a while, but as of April we’ve officially taken on the mortgage and they moved to Florida. When I moved in I started my first ever full-time job and it has really tested me. It’s nowhere near what I’d like to be doing with my life but as they say, it puts food on the table. I’m a claims adjuster for an auto insurance company which means my job consists of sitting in a cubical making phone calls all day and paying people to fix their cars after accidents. This job has really been putting me under a lot of stress. First of all, I’ve always had pretty bad anxiety when it comes to making phone calls, and after over a year at this job, that still hasn’t changed. Having to spend most of my day doing something that makes me so anxious leaves me really drained by the end of it. Add to it the facts that a lot of the people I have to talk to are in a bad mood, often times I’m calling to give them bad news (“You’re at fault for this accident”, “Your car is a total loss,” etc.), and I’m handling over 100 claims at any given time. So most of the time all I want to do when I get home is lay on the couch and do nothing. I wish I was in a position right now to quit this job but I’ve searched up and down for something else and there’s just nothing close to me that would make any sort of financial sense.

When I do have days where I feel like I can actually get something done, a lot of my time is spent working on the house. As I said before, we bought this house from my boyfriend’s parents and it was pretty dated. I’m someone who likes old things, I collect antiques and often dress in vintage styles, but dingy carpet from the 80s and floral wallpaper that’s probably even older aren’t exactly our taste. So we’ve been taking on a lot of home improvement projects and a lot of the time we sort of feel like we’ve bitten off more than we can chew, particularly when it comes to our budget and stamina. As artsy as I may be, I’ve learned that I hate painting walls so even though we started in December, our living room is only about a third of the way painted. I’m also learning that one of the biggest struggles of being a homeowner is just keeping up with the mess, especially with a dog and two cats, all of whom shed like crazy. And it would be easier if we could do all of this together, but my boyfriend and I have such different work schedules that it’s rare for us to have a same day off to work together. It also just seems like this house has one problem after another. A few months ago we had a leak and had to replace the roof. Now our basement is flooding and we have to tear out the walls of what is supposed to become our craft room. It’s hard to make the house beautiful when you keep having to spend all your resources making it functional.

Everything that has been going on in my life has left me feeling very overwhelmed. It may not seem like a lot from the outside, but when your head is constantly full of “Paint this, sweep this, scrub this, shit I forgot to send that check, how many boxes do I still have to unpack? Is this ours or his parents? Did I schedule an appraiser to look at that car? Holy shit the garden is overgrown where did all these weeds come from I swear we just pulled them out a week ago!” It’s daunting. And it has really had a negative impact on my mental health. I thought my life was going to be grand when I moved out of my parents’ house! I was going to be close to a big city, living with the person I love, and finally feeling like a real adult. But this really is more than I bargained for. It feels like all I really did was trade in the stress and anxiety of a long-distance relationship for the stress of a terrible job and a house that still doesn’t feel like my own. People keep telling me things like “That’s life!” and “Welcome to adulthood!” but I know adulthood isn’t all suffering! I know plenty of adults who have jobs they love and free time to do stuff that makes them happy, but I feel like I’m stuck in an endless cycle of five-day work weeks, evenings where I’m too depressed and tired to leave the couch, and weekends where I try to cram in as many chores as possible. And thinking about it makes me more depressed! I studied theatre in college, I wanted to be a playwright, I STILL want to be a playwright. I also want to own an antique store, make and sell clothes, travel the country working renaissance faires, any number of things would make me happy; but it feels like any time I have some time to work toward one of my dreams there’s always something more important.

A few months ago I went to a convention in Pittsburgh. It was the first time I’ve worn Lolita in a long time and it was exciting because there were going to be some big Lolita guests. I told myself I was going to face my fears. I was going to introduce myself to members of my new local Lolita community for the first time since moving here, but I came to the con by myself and the longer it went on, the more alone I felt. I thought it would be great going to all the panels I wanted to see and not basing my schedule on anyone else, but seeing everyone with their friends having a good time brought all these ugly thoughts into my head. I thought, “I’ll never be able to have close Lolita friends like that”, “I’ll never be able to make a living doing the things I love like these designers and Youtubers”, “What kind of Lolita blogger am I if I can’t even go up to other lolitas and introduce myself?” At one point after a panel I went to the bathroom and I heard a group of lolitas whos voices and names I recognized come in. All at once my brain was flooded with “Not good enough”s. I’m not pretty enough, my coord isn’t cute enough, I can’t possibly go out there and interact with these queens. So I locked myself in the stall and waited until everyone left while I cried quietly.

A few hours later there was another lolita panel that was a lot of fun and I had a good laugh and actually sort of felt like I was part of something for a moment. But after that was the J-fashion social. I spent all day trying to convince myself to be brave and not let my anxiety get the better of me, but that was a battle that I quickly lost. I went out onto one of the balconies of the convention center, pacing back and forth while I tried to gather my courage, but the “not good enough”s just came flooding back and I cried harder than I had cried in a long time. The meetup came and went in a panel room behind me as I stared into the night sky of the city that didn’t know I existed. No friends to comfort me, boyfriend at another convention working a booth, and family hours away. I felt completely and utterly alone. But that night I told myself that I was going to make a change. Something, anything, to make my life better.

I know that I can’t cure my depression, or my anxiety. I know that there’s something wrong with my brain and that I’m always going to have bad days and good days, but I also know that I at least owe it to myself to try and turn things around. I may be depressed, but I’d rather be depressed and do things that I love than allow things to continue on the way they have been. After all, I’m the most important person in my life. Nobody will ever be more fundamental to my own happiness than myself.

I can’t exactly say that I have a plan, but I can say that I’ve been trying. I’ve actually spent a lot of time lately rediscovering things that once brought me joy that I fell out of for one reason or another. For example, I’ve recently started listening to My Chemical Romance again. I remember listening to them as a moody teen who just wanted to seem dark and edgy but going back and listening to the same songs as an adult hits me in a different way. They’re so full of emotion and passion and words that my mind likes to cling to like “I am not afraid to keep on living.” I also recently started watching the Vlog Brothers again. Their channel and pretty much everything they were part of were huge influences on me in high school and early in college so I was really happy to see that they’re still doing stuff. They always help me to remember that even though the world may be a big dumpster fire right now, there are still good people doing good things and there are still a lot of things worth living for. I’ve been working a lot on bettering my life in a lot of ways; I’ve been trying to embrace the Konmari method while working on our house and I’ve been watching a lot of youtube channels about being better with money and spending a lot of time watching ASMR to just try and relax.

I still have a long way to go, and I know I’m still going to struggle, but I’m thankful to those of you who have stuck with me and will continue to be with me on this journey. Whenever I get on tumblr and see that I still get messages in my inbox it helps me to remember that I am not entirely alone. I know this was sort of a lot, I’m not someone who normally pours my heart out like this, to be honest talking about my mental health makes me worry that I’ll come off as whiney and it makes me pretty nervous, but I felt that I owed it to all of you to explain what’s been going on and I felt that I owed it to myself to get it all out there. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me through it all. I hope to start making changes in my life get back to making this blog something worth sticking around for.

#personal

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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did you basically waste your life in school, if the world ends in 2012? Yep, and I would’ve felt pretty deflated if the world really ended by then. Life hadn’t started looking up for me just yet, so if I looked back at what my life had been at that point it would just be shitty experiences at home and in school and I’d be sad that I never got to see it get better for me. yeah, i did. i don't believe in it though. do you? I didn’t but it was hilarious to jokingly hype it up. do you sing to songs in the car when you are alone? Yes. This is one of the two times I’m willing to belt out songs, which is why I miss driving these days. I haven’t been able to sing much lately. do you laugh at other people when they are alone in their car singing? No. I actually find it adorable when I catch someone on the road singing in their car alone, like I feel glad that they’re having a good time. have you every actually written a song? We’ve written songs for like grade school class exercises, but I haven’t done anything on my own.

the world will end in an hour. what do you do? Savor my last slice of cheesecake ever, wake up my parents to be with them, hug my dog, and have Gab on call. Either that or go to bed so I can sleep the end of the world away lol, I can’t decide right now. ever visited time's square? I have not. do you live in a place that is full of snow or only wishful, in winter? Wishful? I don’t know what you mean but we don’t have snow here. The nearest place to see snow is like South Korea probs. ever accidentally sent a text message to the wrong person ABOUT that person? Kind of? Back in 2009 (you know the year, so forgive the ancient technology I’m about to explain HAHA) my phone at the time didn’t have wifi or internet connection, but Twitter at one point allowed users to post tweets on their profile by texting it to a certain number Twitter designated for you so that’s how I tweeted whenever I didn’t have my laptop with me. Anyway one time I tweeted about my mom and accidentally sent the ‘text’ to her, but thankfully it was a neutrally toned tweet and not at all insulting haha. sorry if that was confusing:) what makes you relax? Not at all. Surveys make me feel very calm and relaxed, but if I’ve answered one too many and I still need some relaxation, YouTube is my backup. are you one of those camera whores? Nah I’ve always hated taking photos of myself. what is the longest amount of time that you have gone without sleep? I may have done 24-26 hours when I was a teenager but I can never pull that off and will never want to pull that off these days. are you tired of being alone? I’m tired of being at home. I think the feeling of being alone will always be comforting to me in one way or another. ever cried in public? Very rarely. I hate doing that, or involuntarily doing that. when was the last time you failed a test making a 20-or below? I think it was freshman year of high school when I scored something like 18/50 in an algebra class. It never happened again but I still struggled in that class throughout the school year. what color eyes does the person you are currently head over heels about have? Dark brown, like everyone I knowwwwwwwww. does the weirdest dream you have ever had involve your history teacher? No. That’s so oddly specific lmao. who might that be, anyways? I had various history teachers in both high school and college. d03z iiT b@hHt3R y3wH d@T ii R0t3 liiK3 diiz? it bothered me. I’m over it so I’m not as bothered anymore. Probably would have annoyed me if you showed this to me in 2009 though. how many christmas trees are in your home during the season? Just one. We don’t need more than that. do you remember the reason for the season or are you all for the presents? I’m very aware of the reason for Christmas, being raised Catholic, and my atheist butt constantly feels like an outsider or poser whenever I have to celebrate with my family hahaha. Overall, I’m more for the food served in the various family gatherings we attend than for the gifts. how many trophies do you own? Zero. have you ever played any sports that involve a ball bigger than a coconut? Nope. do you still watch cartoons? If I feel like being nostalgic I’ll watch SpongeBob sometimes but this doesn’t happen often. Generally though I don’t watch cartoons anymore. what name do you think is the prettiest on a girl? Right now, Mia. do ya know a guy named ben? Barely. He was a graduating senior by the time I had just entered college. ever told your date you were going to the bathroom and actually left? No. what never fails to put you in a bad mood? Last minute revisions on any work I’m involved in, crammers and freeloaders, politics in my country. do you journal/blog any? This blog. have you ever read any sarah dessen books? Nope. what is the first thing that comes to mind when i say green? I remember the word verde which is Spanish for green. Being stuck at home has made me reinstall Duolingo and I’ve been learning Spanish for the past two weeks, hah. It’s astounding to realize how many Filipino words have just been borrowed from Spanish this whole time: oficina/opisina, negocio/negosyo, queso/keso, pasaporte/pasaporte, familia/pamilya, escuela/eskwela – the list goes on. It makes for the easiest language course to take lmao. most of you said grass, right? how old are you, by the way? Afraid you’re wrong. 22. did you know that you hear/see something that relates to a monkey everyday? Sure. I watch Friends almost everyday and they had an entire storyline about Ross owning a monkey, so that’s one link to monkeys. Also aren’t we both primates? have you ever made a threat that you went through with? I don’t think so. how many pillows are currently on your bed? Two.

do you share a bed with anyone, or is it allll yours? All mine and it should stay that way because I only have a twin bed lol. are you scared to be alone after you watch a scary movie? Egh not always, but some will get to me. are you totally annoyed when taylor swift wins all awards at an award show? I wouldn’t be annoyed but since I don’t like her music I just wouldn’t be feeling particularly giddy over the sweep. do you own any songs that are from limewire? Nooooooooo, that’s ages ago. have you smacked anyone's butt today? Nope. are you from the north/south/west/east? East. ya live in america, right? Wrong again. would you ever want to be a celebrity? If I can be ~popular for something wholesome or generally uncontroversial or not chaotic like being a successful vlogger or blogger, or being close friends with a celebrity, then it might be nice. Otherwise I can live without it. did you ever take ballet as a kiddo? I took ballet lessons when I was 5, yes.

#survey #surveys

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queen-of-deans-booty · 5 years

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Death Takes a Holiday- Part 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,709

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

“Come on you son of a bitch,” Dean muttered as he thumped the jukebox with his hand. Looking at Sam as he talked to your dad, but then shifted your gaze to see Dean getting his frustrations out on a jukebox. Getting up, you walked over to him before standing to the side of the juke.

“Having trouble?”

“This fucking thing won’t start,” Dean groaned.

“Check this out,” you grinned as your hands glowed a bright blue. Wiggling your eyebrows at Dean, you made sure no one was watching before placing both your hands to each side of the box. Almost immediately, it fired to life and music started playing softly over the speakers.

“You shouldn’t be using your magic in public,” Dean lightly scolded.

“If I have it, may as well enjoy it.”

“Weren’t you the one who told us you were scared shitless about the things you can do? You’re acting like this is no big deal.”

“It’s the only way I can cope with it, you know? I have to entertain myself somehow,” you sighed, looking over at Sam once he hung up. “Come on,” you and Dean walked back to Sam as soon as he started typing.

“What did my dad say?”

“He found something in Wyoming.”

“A job?”

“Maybe,” Sam said as Dean bit into his burger.

“Small town, no one's died in the past week and a half.”

“That’s so unusual?” you asked with a small smile.

“Well, it's how they're not dying. One guy with terminal cancer strolls right out of hospice. Another guy gets capped by a mugger and walks away without a scratch,” Sam explained as he turned his laptop so you can Dean could read what is on screen. Each tab he had opened was for the Greybull Gazette with the top article that reads: Shooting victim walks away unharmed. Right underneath that, it reads: Police and medical authorities are struggling for an explanation as to why local resident Jim Jenkins was able to walk away from a point-blank shooting incident. After leaving Bison Bud's Bar, Mr. Jenkins and friend Pete Hensley were confronted by a mugger in a nearby alley. After a brief altercation, the mugger fired a shot from a 9mm Automatic, hitting Jenkins…

“Police say Mr. Jenkins was shot in the heart at point-blank range by a nine-millimeter,” Sam said as he turned the laptop back around.

“And he’s not a doughnut?” Dean asked with his mouth full.

“Locals are saying it's a miracle. It's got to be something nasty, right? I mean, people making deals or something.”

“You think so?” you asked.

“What else would it be?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright, get that to go,” Sam told his brother as he packed up. Dean gave you a look once before placing his burger down and brushes his hands together to get the crumbs off.

“And I know just the cover,” you grinned.

“Now, you three said you were bloggers?” Jim asked once you got there. He invited you into his home to talk about what happened to him. Thinking bloggers about the lord were better than FBI, the brothers gave your idea a shot.

“Yes, sir. Flooredbythelord.com,” you chuckled.

“All of God's glory fit to blog,” Dean grins, giving you and Sam a glance.

“Um. Some of the people around town are saying what happened to you was a miracle,” Sam started.

“It was. Plain as day.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“How else do you explain it? The doctors can't. There's a bullet in my heart, and it's pumping like a piston.”

“How do you explain it?” you asked gently. Jim hesitated as he looked over at his daughter and wife in the next room as they colored together.

“Look, honestly, I was nobody's saint—not exactly father of the year, either. But when that guy shot me and I didn't bleed a drop? I just knew the Lord was giving me a second chance. I had this feeling—like angels were watching over me. I wouldn't expect you guys to understand.”

“We can try,” you shrugged lightly.

“You wouldn't have happened to have swung by a crossroads in the past week or so?” Sam asked.

“No.”

“Maybe you met someone? With black eyes? Or red?”

“Who'd you guys say you were again?” Jim asked suspiciously. Exchanging glances with the brothers, you got up since that was your cue to leave.

“Never mind. Thank you for your time.” Following your lead, the brothers walked to the car before getting inside. “Sam, you should check out the cancer guy. Dean and I can do some more research to find out who the last person to die was. We can go from there.”

“Sounds good,” both brothers agreed before Dean started the car. Once Sam found out where the cancer guy lived, Dean dropped him off before heading straight to the motel room. Once inside, you got to work on finding out who the last person to die was. It took all night, but the earliest you could find was ten days ago. As soon as you found the article, Sam entered the motel room.

“Find anything?” you asked.

“That cancer survivor? He was clinically dead, his wife pulled the plug, and now he's taking her out for their twentieth anniversary.”

“No sign of a deal?”

“None. What about you two? Found anyone dying around here?”

“Not since Cole Griffith,” Dean answered, enlarging the picture of the kid. “He dropped ten days ago. It was the last death we could find.”

“So, what are you thinking?” Sam asked once he saw the looks on yours and Dean’s faces.

“Eh, maybe it is what the people say it is,” Dean replied, getting up to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“Miracles? In our experience, when do miracles just happen?”

“Well, there are no deals. There's, uh, no skeevy faith healers. I mean, these souls just ain't getting dragged into the light.”

“Maybe that’s because there’s no one around to carry them,” you thought out loud.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it. Remember that faith healer when you got electrocuted? As you were dying, you saw that man in the black suit and I saw him as well? He’s a reaper to take your soul away, but if there aren’t any in town, then no one’s dying. They have no guide to carry them away.”

“So, what? The local reaper's on strike? Playing the back nine? I don't know, Y/N.”

“Then we talk to someone who might. Cole is the last person to die, right? He should know where the reapers are, if not, where to find them. We just got to talk to him.”

“I love how matter-of-fact you are about that. Strange lives,” Dean chuckled as he sipped his coffee.

“Sam.”

“I’m already on it,” he said as he typed away. Grinning, you stole some of Dean’s coffee when he wasn’t looking.

Sam got the whole séance thing set up with five candles around a pentacle drawn on cloth that was spread over Cole’s grave. Sam placed a bunch of stuck in the middle of the pentacle while you and Dean watched from another grave nearby.

“You sure this is going to work?” Dean asked as he flipped through his dad’s journal.

“Yeah, Sam, it’s cold,” you shivered, watching your breath come out in short spurts.

“No, Dean, I’m not sure this will work, but if his spirit's around, this should smoke him out. And Y/N, this was your idea.”

“This job is jacked,” Dean sighed as he closed the journal.

“How so?”

“You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse, hey, let's light it up, right? But this? If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead. Good people.”

“Dean, you can’t mess with the balance of life. If it’s their time to go, it’s their time,” you said.

“There is a natural order,” Sam agreed.

“You're kidding, right? You don't see the irony in that? I mean, you, me and Y/N, we're like the poster children of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death.”

“Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?” you chuckled.

“We're no different than anybody else.”

“I'm infected with demon blood. You've been to hell. Y/N is a witch for crying out loud. Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. Neither am I or Y/N. The sooner you accept that the better off you're gonna be. So, you two gonna help me finish this?”

Groaning, you got up to help when you heard a man’s voice and a flash of light from behind.

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

“Just take it easy,” Sam tried.

“What the hell is this?”

“Okay, this—this—this is not what it looks like,” Dean laughed.

“Really? 'Cause it looks like devil worship.”

“What? No! No, this is not devil worship. This—This is—this—this is, uh,” Dean shrugged with a shake of his head. “I don't have a good answer.”

“We’re leaving,” you said to the man.

“You're not going anywhere,” the man said as he took a few steps forward. “Ever again. Y/N, Sam, Dean.” Suddenly, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, showing off the white that his normal ones usually look like before going back to normal.

“Alastair. I thought you got deep fried, extra-crispy,” Dean said.

“Nah. Just the pediatrician I was riding. His wife's still looking for him. It's hilarious. Anyway, no time to chat. Got a hot date with death.”

Alastair flicked his hand, sending Dean crashing into a grave which knocked him unconscious. The demon went to do the same to you, but at the last second, your arm went up in a straight vertical line with your hand in a fist just as a shield-like forcefield half surrounded you.

“Oh, look who is getting stronger,” Alastair laughed. “Nor strong enough to beat me,” he crushed his hand into a fist which shattered your shield before he flicked you away, the same thing happening to you.

“Dean! Y/N!” Sam yelled, but you couldn’t do anything but lay there.

Wanna get tagged? Add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @quixoticcat @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22 @tahbehonest @destielsangelss @oreosatmidnight @seninjakitey @flyonlittlewinchester @earthtokace @gingersnapped13 @gucci-tata @22sarah08 @superrandomnatural @my-wayward-heroes @supernaturallover2002 @teamfreewillsstuff @gh0stgurl @put-my-favorite-record-on @onlydeanandjensen @bloodyvoodoo @morgannope @death-unbecomes-you @redsalv20 @unfortunately-a @deans-baby-momma @drakonwild @infinite-supernatural-adoring @analisespn @essie1876 @kdfrqqg @blackcherrywhiskey @mogaruke @wittysunflower @li-ssu @kristaparadowski @mizzezm @the-walking-daryl @supernatural13-13 @posiemax @shortbty14 @paintballkid711 @phantomalchemist @gabrielslittleangel @shatteredabby @jennalyncarrigan1230 @winchesterandpie @andi-mendes-barnes @tricksterdean @akshi8278 @whit85-blog @kendlemariee @jennazeise @kendall-michele @mrspeacem1nusone @ballistic-bailey @thehall0wqueeen @stylesismyhubs @screechingcashartisanbaliff

#supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fiction #dean x reader #dean fic #dean fanfiction #series rewrite #season 4 episode 15 #s4e15 #spn #supernatural

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heathenarmyimagines · 5 years

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Title: Laws of Beyonce

Summary: You take Alex to Red Lobster for the first time.

Pairing: Alex x Reader

A/N: So this was originally posted by @sparklemichele but I just had to write this out.

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger, @arses21434, @ltkeke, @captainfoxy22, @chinduda @letsshamelessqueen-m @my-soul-is-the-moon @we-are-transcendent, @sparklemichele

So tonight was date night and your night to plan it.

Last week Alex had taken you out to a really nice Danish restaurant and you two had a really good time; with him telling you his favorite dishes and telling you stories of getting kicked out of the kitchen for snacking while his mother cooked.

You wanted to take him to a place to try some food he’d never tried, but still something he’d like, but seeing how he was such an undercover fatty it was hard to find anywhere he hadn’t eaten already.

Finally you just gave up and decided on your fave restaurant since you hadn’t been in a while.

‘Red Lobster?’ Alex asked as he parked.

‘Mmhmm.’ you nodded as you took off your seatbelt and went to open your door, only for Alex to pop your thigh in scolding.

He got out the car and walked around to open the door for you like he always did on date nights.

‘I’ve never ate here.’ he said as he took your hand in his own.

‘Really?’ you gasped.

He nodded.

‘I can’t believe that, how can you have never been here? It’s literally in a Beyonce song and you eat everywhere.’ you said.

‘I never got around to actually going.’ he said as he looked at the building.

‘Well yay because I had just about given up on giving you a new experiences. You’ve done and ate everything.’ you smiled excitedly.

‘Hey babe you’re taking my ass to Red Lobster?’ Alex asked.

‘Yes.’ you answered with a smirk, already knowing where this was going.

‘Does that mean I fuck you good?’ he grinned.

‘Very good.’ you smiled before you both entered the building.

‘Hello.’ the hostess smiled at both of you.

Immediately Alex looked over at the lobster tank.

‘Isn’t this supposed to be in the kitchen?’ he asked.

‘Nope, they let the customers see them so they know that they serve fresh lobster only.’ you told him before you walked over to hostess.

‘Hi, sorry about him, it’s his first time here. I called earlier for a table for two, under the name of (Y/N).’

‘Yes right this way.’ she said before leading you to a table and letting you know that a waitress would be on their way to take your drink orders.

‘So...how do you like it?’

He looked around and smiled.

‘I love it, happy to finally say I’ve eaten here and with such lovely company.’

‘Well I try my best.’

You both looked over the drinks for a moment before the server came, you asked for some berry cocktail while Alex just got a beer.

The server left and gave you more time to look at the menu a little longer.

‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.

‘I love the steak and lobster plate, usually with the scallops as a appetizer, but I don’t want to be too full so I’ll skip the scallops.’ you said easily.

‘You already knew what you wanted didn’t you?’ he accused.

‘Yup. I know this menu like the back of my hand.’ you boasted.

‘Well Miss Expert why don’t you order for me.’ Alex said as he sat aside his menu.

‘Of course Mister Noob.’ you teased.

The server came back with the drinks and you let him know you were ready to place the food orders.

‘I’ll have the steak and lobster, steak medium rare. I would like the Caesar salad without croutons and I’d like the side to be broccoli. And he will have the Yucatan tilapia and shrimp...extra pineapple and jalapeno.’ you ordered.

The man wrote down the order on his little notepad and smiled politely before he went to put it in, leaving you and Alex alone with your drinks.

‘I do love when you take charge like that baby.’ he smirked.

‘Outside the bedroom too?’ you asked with a raised brow.

‘Well, I like it more in the bedroom to be honest.’ he laughed.

The two of you went on drinking and talking about whatever came up; his work on Vikings or how your personal assistant job was going.

You had been in the middle of explaining how your boss had been an idiot again this week when the waiter came back and placed the bowl of cheddar biscuits.

‘Thank you so much.’ you said thankfully to your server.

‘You’re welcome ma’am, your food will be out shortly. Would you like some more drinks?’

‘Oh yes please.’ Alex spoke up.

Again the server left, this time taking your empty cups.

‘You have to try these biscuits.’ you said as you eagerly took one up.

Taking your word for it Alex grabbed one as well and took a small bite before he nodded.

‘Cheesy, hot and delicious.’ he commented before he took another bite.

‘Just like you.’ you teased as you ran your foot up and down his leg under the table.

He looked at you with mischievous eyes.

‘Food and sex? You really know the way to my heart don’t you baby?’ he said with his voice lowered.

‘Who said anything about sex? Did I promise you sex tonight, I thought I only agreed to dinner.’ you said smugly.

Before your boyfriend could reply the server returned with the food and behind him there was another server with the drinks.

‘Here you go please enjoy your food and drinks.’ said the server before both he and his little helper went on their way.

The two of you began eating your food, well Alex did anyway.

You were too busy being a freaking weirdo watching him eat and try each thing on his plate, trying to see how he liked the food.

‘You don’t have to stare, I like it.’ he assured.

A sigh of relief escaped your lungs before you began eating your meal as well, soon the conversation was just as it had been before, this time him talking about Vikings and what shenanigans he and Marco got up to on set.

The night was a complete success; great food, great drinks, and like always great conversation. At last the server came to take up the empty plates and dropped off the bill.

You and Alex reach for it but you slapped away his hand.

‘Back it up buddy, it’s my night.’ you said firmly as you pulled out your card.

The meal was paid for and Alex insisted in at least tipping the server like he usually did, he could never just let you treat him and while it made you roll your eyes you secretly love it.

When the server came back with your card and Alex had given him the twenty dollar tip you picked up your purse and scoot out of the booth.

‘Now it is time to get you home so you can do your part.’ you said as Alex stood up as well.

‘My part?’ he asked.

‘I took you to Red Lobster. According to the laws of Beyonce you have to fuck me good now.’ you winked before you eagerly pulled him out of the restaurant.

#vikings imagine #modern!vikings #alex x reader #red lobster

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boojersey · 5 years

Note

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox

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