#i really wanted to put black christmas but i couldn't fit it :((((

[haizediz]

Billie Bossa Nova

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Kate Bishop x Fem Reader

Summary: you and your girlfriend are at a christmas party and your short dress leads to more for the first time.

Warnings: touchy and teasing Kate; shy but not so shy reader, veeery fluffy smut-//[your first time with the love of your life]; this is so much fluff omg

words: 1.6k

a/n: soooo, this is so different to what i usually write, but i´m reaaaaally proud of it. this fic is inspired by one of my fav songs "billie bossa nova" by billie eilish. this turned out really hot, so enjoyy:)

if you want more fics like this, let me know <3

--requests are open

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It was the day before Christmas Eve, Kate was already on her way to your house. Eleanor, her mother organized again a Christmas party like last year. Only this time, guns, arrows and the mafia don't play a role.

Right now you were in the bathroom putting on your makeup and dress. It was a red, fitted dress that was quite short, which really showed off your body. Kate loved it when you wore dresses like this. You notice it how she stares at you and how she always has her hand around your waist, showing that you are completely hers. That's why you loved wearing dresses just like that. On the other hand with your dress, you made your makeup pretty natural. Mascara, lip gloss and a bit of highliter made it perfect. You stayed away from the blush because you'll be blushing enough when Kate is with you.

Just as you were about to close your dress, your phone started ringing. It was Kate who called. She`d probably already arrived at your home and was waiting for you in her car. When you picked up you told her to come to you, which she did as quickly as possible because after a minute the doorbell already rang. You couldn't help but grin, put your phone aside and opened the door. Here stood Kate in her black, perfect-looking suit. She smiled at you, which made your stomach flip. You looked into her eyes as she looked at your body. After that minute you couldn't take it any longer and kissed her soft lips. Kate's hands moved up to your back and so she noticed that your dress wasn't closed yet. "I mean, should I zip it up or take the entire dress off?" You laughed at her words and slapped her jokingly on her upper arm. "Close it, you idiot."

After one or two small conversations you were on your way to Kate's car. She opened the door for you and put on your favorite playlist as soon as she started the engine. During the car ride, Kate would occasionally rest her hand on your thigh, sometimes quite dangerously high, according to your taste.

One hour later, when Kate parked the car and removed the hand that had been laying on your thigh for a while, you felt a certain feeling. You couldn't identify it, but you knew you were hungry for Kate's touch, more than you actually are. Why though?

As you both left the car and made your way to the building, you felt the cold winter air. You tried not to shiver, but you didn't succeed at all, and Kate noticed straight away how cold you were. She stopped walking and took off her blazer, you looked at her and started smiling. The moment Kate placed her blazer on your shoulders and you could smell her strong perfume, she reminded you, "I told you to wear something warmer." You started giggling and snuggled closer to your girlfriend as you continued walking toward the building. It was a further walk as Kate didn't park very close to the location. Maybe on purpose too.

When you arrived inside you met Eleanor and greeted her friendly. She invited you to dinner, so the three of you sat down at a table. After a while Jack also came to the table and you all had a not so bad conversation. Until you suddenly felt a warm hand on your thigh again. You stared at Kate, who wasn't even looking at you. She talked with her mother about her new bow and arrow. But when Kate lightly stroked your skin with her thumb, you started to blush and the same feeling you had in the car came back. You felt the need to kiss Kate, to touch her and you wanted to feel her hand all over your body. You were so deep in thought and felt this feeling more and more. The need also grew stronger. This was completely new to you, but you liked it. Time passed more and more slowly and the only thing you wanted at that moment was to be alone with Kate. The only thing you wanted was her.

You put your hand on Kate's and enjoyed the rest of the time, but you couldn't concentrate well on the conversations and the food anymore. An hour has passed, but it felt much longer. When Eleanor and Jack finally left you alone, the first thing you did was kiss Kate. She was surprised, which made her smile into the kiss. Your hand went to her neck and you started playing with her baby hair. Kate's hand moved from your thigh to your hip, pulling you closer to her. This step drove you crazy and Kate had to break the kiss to say something. "Wanna go to a more private room? I don't want that anybody else sees you naked except for me." Your giggle made Kate blush and took your hand. You paid for your meal and made your way to the hotel next door, where Eleanor had already reserved a room for the both of you.

Giggling, you opened the door to your room and the second you both stepped inside, the door was again already closed. Kate reached for the back of your dress and began to undo it. Immediately afterwards you took Kate's tie in your hand and pulled her closer to you. You began to kiss, slowly and pleasurably. In that moment Kate tried to unbutton her shirt, you couldn´t hold back your laugh, broke the kiss and helped her. After you shared a few giggles Kate met your lips before you even had a chance to move away from her.

These times, it was different when you kissed as usual. There was something relaxed about it, eventhough you could feel the hunger you both had. You sat at the edge of the bed, kissing, but a certain urgency came when Kate reached for the back of your bra. She finally got it off, moved her hands to your breasts and gently pushed you down. You scooted back, under the covers and Kate climbed on top of you. She started staring at your eyes while you softly move your hands up and down her back. You held an intense eyecontact and your heart was beating so fast. "You´re so beautiful, y/n." Kate noticed your right now creating blush and smiled at you. "I love you", you answered and pulled her head with your hands to yours. Your lips collapsed together and Kate´s hands touched your whole body. She started to kiss every part of your face, you gripped your hands tightly in her black hair, as she ran her hands again down your body. Kate kissed your neck and you let out a sigh. She kissed each of your collar bones, she kissed each breast as she stroked them.

Her touch was so careful and soft, that it felt like heaven. Her warm hands all over your body, and you could feel her hot breaths against your skin.

Kate continued kissing you, she kissed your arms, your palms, and each delicate finger that were lost in her hair just a moment ago. She found your stomach and kissed it from each rib cage to the next, her hands met your waist and the final piece of clothing left between you two. Kate began to pull it off, looked up as if to ask you, you let out a yes, so she took them off, as well as her own, and went back to kissing you.

You let out a sigh of delight as her lips touched places only her hands earlier dared to go, she kept going down, she kissed the inside of your legs, no part of your body was left without the kiss of your girlfriend`s perfect and soft lips.

When she came back up and met your eyes once more, you grabbed her neck and kissed her. Kissing Kate must be more than just an obsession, she makes a really strong impression. She kept her hands buried in your hair and you began to run your hands down her spine. You were a pianist, and Kate´s back was your piano, each bone of her spine were your keys, and you played all of them.

You returned your hands to her neck and hooked your legs around Kate´s knees and she collapsed on top of you, you used this chance to get her on her back. You sat on top of her, leaned down and whispered into Kate´s ear. "Now it´s my turn, archer." Kate couldn´t help but smirk at your actions. "Smooth, y/l/n." You giggled and kissed her happily before you laid down on top of her, rocking your bodies together as you ran your hands down Kate´s body. You didn´t really knew what you were doing, but you knew Kate liked it, so you didn´t stop.

Kate held her hands on your back, pulling you into her body as much as she could, it mattered not that you had no clothes on. It mattered not that you were as pressed into each other as you could be. You still didn’t feel close enough.

You eventually met Kate´s side and you kissed each other gently, stroking each other´s hair.

She held you as close as possible and you had never felt so comfortable as you did in that moment. "I think I´ll wear a short dress tomorrow." Kate started laughing hard as you said your joke, where hopefully be some truth behind it.

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@hard-core-super-star <3

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#fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #kate bishop #kate bishop fanfiction #kate bishop x female reader #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop smut #wlw #writing #kate bishop fluff

[cowboydisaster]

I have a prompt idea if you're still looking for some! How about the reader finding and taking an itty bitty kitten that was orphaned and Arthur's real grumpy about it at first but then she finds him asleep on the couch with the kitten curled up on his chest and he's got a hand over it protectively or something. I know that's not really Christmas-y, but I thought it would be cute! Looking forward to all your writings as always 🥰

* ˚ ✦ Moonlight * ˚ ✦

pairing: arthur morgan x f! reader

word count: 1k

a/n: Sorry this was late, it's been a madhouse around here. Anyways, i love this prompt and it makes me want a house cat SO bad. i also love grumpy arthur and if you couldn't tell already, domesticity is my roman empire rn.

cowboydisaster's christmas countdown: THREE days 'till christmas!

christmas countdown┊main masterlist┊rdr2 masterlist

“No.” Arthur growls, voice stern, resolve set. Your eyes are as big as dinner plates as you continue pleading and begging. Your lip juts out, even, testing his patience, shaking his resolve.  Arthur is notoriously bad at telling you no. When you’d asked for a second baby, he’d willingly agreed. When you’d asked for the house, and the farm, he’d made it happen for you. But this?

“Please, Arthur… Where else is he supposed to go?” You whisper so as not to wake the baby, sleeping soundly in her bassinet. 

“I don’t give a damn. Not here.” Arthur grumbles, placing his tools from work on the table. You follow him around the kitchen like a shadow as he opens and closes cupboards and drawers, putting away all his items from the day. 

Arthur is pointedly trying not to look at the little black ball of fur nestled in your arms. He’s afraid that if he catches a glimpse of those big, sad eyes, he’ll agree with you, and he’ll have an extra mouth to feed.

“Where’d you find it, anyways?” Arthur says, turning, sighing as you push the teeny kitten up towards his face, holding it under its little armpits. 

“I found him stranded on the road back from the market. Look at him, Arthur. He’s not well. We’ll have to feed him.” You plead. Arthur’s fingers pinch the bridge of his nose as he stops and turns around. You nearly run into his back, stopping just in time. 

Arthur gets a good glimpse at the little feller then. He’s just a little cat, probably only a few months old. He’s far too skinny, and his jet black coat is ruffled and dirty from the elements. You hold the cat out to show Arthur, and then he sees the little, white, crescent-shaped mark that adorns his forehead, right between his blue eyes. Arthur releases the bridge of his nose, sighing grumpily. When his eyes crack open, and he sees your pleading face, perfectly matching the cat’s expression, he gives up. 

“Goddammit, fine. Jus’ throw him in the spare room, n’ I’ll find him some fish or somethin’.” Arthur says, rather dramatically, in your opinion. You hold the kitten close to your chest, your spare arm wrapping around the man’s neck. 

“Oh, thank you, Arthur!!” You smile, kissing him quickly before popping down from your tiptoes. 

“Yeah, well don’t get all cheery just yet. We’re tossin’ him back out in the snow as soon as he’s good and healthy.”

— — — 

The rocking chair swings back and forth quietly. Your hand gently taps your daughter’s back, and you hum quietly. She’d woken you and Arthur up in a fit, hungry, raising her little fists into the air and giving you both hell. But now, her little belly is full, and a peaceful silence has fallen over the house once more. The moonlight streaking through the windows tells you that it’s early morning, and you sigh at another night’s lack of sleep. 

“Easy, baby.” You whisper, quietly and slowly standing from the rocking chair, swaying her in your arms until you reach her bassinet. 

“Good night, my sweet girl.” You whisper sweetly, pressing a kiss to her little forehead, brushing some peach fuzz out of her face. 

You push the nursery door open quietly, eager to find your place next to Arthur in bed again.  But a few steps down the hall,  you stop in your tracks, a familiar voice coming from the living room. 

“Yeah, well you’re a right bastard, y’know that?” Arthur whispers, and you suppress a laugh, peeking around the corner. 

Arthur is sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table. Laying on his chest, nuzzled against his thick arm, is the little kitten. He purrs loudly, eyes closed, awfully content in your husband’s arms. Your heart melts in its cavern at the sight, and you watch the scene play out with bright eyes. 

“The lady is puttin’ the lil’ one back to bed, I figure I might as well do somethin’. So, make no mistakes, partner. We ain’t friends.” He whispers to the kitten, but contrary to his harsh words, Arthur’s finger scratches gently behind the kitten’s ear, pulling deep rumbles and purrs from the little animal. A few moments go by with Arthur’s hand resting protectively on the little cat. 

“Y’know, you are kinda cute… But don’t tell the missus I said that. I don’t want her thinkin’ I’ve gone soft.”  

You suppress a chuckle. 

“I reckon we should call you Moon… cause you got a little one right between them big eyes.” Arthur hums, eyelids growing heavy the longer he rests on the couch. You clear your throat gently, making him aware of your presence before stepping into the living room. 

“Didn’t see you there.” Arthur says, sitting straight on the couch, cheeks tinted pink. 

“She’s asleep.” You smile, “I see you’re making friends.”

Arthur exhales sharply, a huff of a laugh, “Me and the cat? Nah, he uh– he wouldn’t stop hollerin’ so I tried holdin’ him.” Arthur excuses, hand still wrapped protectively around the sleeping animal. 

“Right.” You raise an eyebrow, “You comin’ back to bed, then?” 

Arthur hesitates, looking up at you, then down to Moon. 

“I’ll be in shortly, sweetheart. Just gonna stay out here a little longer with him so he doesn’t go wakin’ you or the kids up.”

You smirk, “Alright then, Arthur.” 

 A kiss is planted to his lips before you head to the bedroom, and he sinks back down on the couch with Moon tucked into his arm. 

Five minutes turn to ten, and ten to thirty. And when you wake up to start breakfast, your husband is still cuddled up on the couch. Snores fall from his lips, matching the time of little content purrs coming from Moon, sleeping in a little ball right on Arthur’s chest.  So much for not giving a damn. You chuckle to yourself.

taglist: @margofiore @mrsarthurmorgan7 @woman-with-no-name @tillith @luvliewriting @pine4pple-b0i @photo1030 @dudsparrow @holyratrimony @twola @calcarius445 [to be added or removed, shoot me an ask! :)]

#divider by cafekitsune #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x you #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 fanfic #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption two #rdr2 arthur #rdr2 #rdr2 fandom

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Paper rings 🩷

Jason Todd x singer!reader

A/N: I have to be honest, half of this is cat content ngl. This is based off the song by T. Swift :) Catdad!Jason is real because I say so. I geeked out and somehow love for greek mythology always find its way into my Jason fics idk

Enjoy!

~Fi 🪻

Prompt: reader is a singer who writes a song for Jason. How does he react?

Requested by: 🌙 anon

Warnings: fluff all around! Cute kitty moments, the concert parts may be all wrong idk what I'm doing lmao

Word count: 1.8k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

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You let out a sigh as you got into your car. It had been a long day in the studio, recording new songs for your latest album. Your throat hurt, but you were happy with the progress you had made today. Starting the car, you made your way home to the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, Jason.

It was his birthday soon, and you'd planned a little surprise, not only for him but for your fans as well. You had written him a song, one that would be on your newest record. You smiled only thinking about it, you couldn't wait to pull off this surprise.

The show you were performing tomorrow in Gotham was no ordinary one. You'd called it the "Jazz on Special", which was just a a play on Jason. Your lovely, yet sometimes a little daft lover had not gotten the hint. Good.

He always attended your concerts, watching from backstage, giving his support. The moment you stepped off stage, he was immediately one you, showering you in compliments and kisses, telling you how proud he was of you.

So you figured this was the least you could do to show your appreciation for him. You wanted the whole world to know how much he actually meant to you, scream it into the crowds. So that's excatly what you were going to do.

Unlocking your apartment door, you stepped in, dropping your keys in the little dish right by the entrance. You could hear footsteps the minute the door closed. Jason came towards you, with a big smile and open arms. "How was your session today, Baby?" He asked, wrapping you in his strong and comforting arms. You snaked your arms around his waist and hid your face against his chest. "Was really good. My throat is sore though, I need some tea." You mumbled, letting a content sigh to be in his arms. He placed a kiss to the top of your head.

"I'll make you some, got get comfy, okay?" He said softly, stroking your hair. "Thanks, Jay," you replied, slipping from his embrace with smile. You went to put on a change of clothes. You did wear comfortable clothes to your recording sessions, but you had to dress it up at least little bit with some jewelry. It probably wouldn't be the best look to show up to work in your kitty PJs.

After having changed into said kitty PJs, you plopped down on the couch next to Jason and your cat, Nyx. She was a black stray with a white streak on her forehead. You'd picked her up from a local animal shelter, you just couldn't resist her cute little white paws that made her look like she wore socks and the fact that she matched Jason. It was supposed to be his Christmas gift one year, but you just couldn't keep her to yourself.

Although you got her for Jason, he insisted you name her, his reasoning being that she got her looks from dad so her name should be from mom. And yes, you do treat her like your child. You named her Nyx, after the greek goddess. She was the first, daughter of Chaos, night incarnate. You thought that it fit, with Jason being the protector of Gothams street at night. And in a way, you were grateful to her, to Mother Night, for holding Jason safely in her dark yet loving embrace.

"Nyxieeee!! There you are my sweet girl! I missed you SO much, yes I did," you beamed in a high pitched baby voice, scratching her face. You stole her off Jason's lap, making him huff. Taking her into your arms, you placed overly dramatic kisses on her tiny head. She didn't seem to mind, though, rubbing her cheeks against your hand and purring. Jason's face softened at the sight.

You looked so precious like this, the cat curled up in your arms as you cooed at her. You'd be a little embarrassed about your habit of talking to animals in a baby voice if Jason too, wasn't guilty of it as well. He put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him. "You know, technically that's my cat," he said with a smirk on his face. You shot him a glare.

"Technically, you wouldn't have her without me and you asked me to be her mom. She's my child too, Jason!" You responded playfully. He threw his head back, laughing. "I guess she is, huh. Thank you for being the mother of my furrbaby." He sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "It's my absolute pleasure, baby."

You were getting sleepy, your eyes unvoluntarily fluttering shut ever so often. Nyx was curled up on your lap, peacefully snoozing away while Jason was intently watching whatever was playing on the TV. You took a sip of the tea Jason had so lovingly prepared for you. Setting the mug back down on the coffee table, your gaze shortly fell on Nyx and- wait

You had to do a double take. She had one of her small paws reached out towards Jason who was gently holding it and without paying much mind, softly stroking his thumb over it. Your heart was about to explode. Your lips were slightly parted and your eyes were wide, looking at Jason completely bewildered. He noticed your stare, turning his head towards you with furrowed brows.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He asked, the question slightly muffled by the hand that was supporting his head. "That's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen," you mumbled, the shock pretty evident in your voice as you gestured to his huge hand that was ever so softly caressing Nyx's comparably tiny paw. His eyes softened.

"It is, isn't it? The first time she did it I was practically shaking from excitement," he laughed, the sound rumbling through his chest. Your brows shot together. "What do you mean 'the first time'?! Has she done this before? AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?!" You yelled in disbelief. How dare he keep something so precious from you.

"Sorry, Baby."

"Unbelievable."

Today was the day. The day you would pour your heart out in front of Gotham. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. The blood in your veins was at boiling point and you were seconds away from a panic attack. Fiddling with the two colorful paper rings you had made for today, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. This was fine. You were fine. You've literally done this hundreds of times. But would Jason like it? God, you hoped he would.

Before you could overthink more, you heard your cue through your earpiece and it was showtime.

The 'normal' part of the concert went well, you performed some of your best songs, the crowd was amazing and it was overall an incredible night. You'd talked to your fans a little on stage between songs, receiving some nice little gifts here and there. Flowers, plushies as well as a bra was thrown on stage. Well that was a first. Not that you complained, you were rather flattered, actually.

It was nice to know that you had the ladies on your side. Jason, who was watching from backstage, almost keeled over with laughter when he saw you pick up the under garment, completely bewildered. He would never let you live this down.

"Alright, Gotham," you said breathlessly, "before our lovely night comes to an unfortunate end, I have prepared a little something. Not only for you, but also for my special someone, who might or might not be here today," cheering could be heard from the audience as you fixed your earpiece and chuckled breathlessly into the microphone.

Singing and jumping around stage sure was a work out.

"This is a song I've not shared publicly, as it is from my new album, but I thought I'd make a little exception for all of you and at the same time be the best girlfriend and make the coolest birthday present ever!" You laughed. The moment you mentioned that it was a new song the crowd absolutely lost their shit. You don't think any of your concerts have ever been this loud. Your eardrums nearly burst at the sheer volume of teenage girls screaming their souls out.

"Here's Paper rings. This is for you, Jason." You said with a smile on your face. The music started playing and it's like all your worries faded away. You'd been waiting for this moment for weeks, to finally share this song and your love for Jason. As you sang the lyrics, a compilation of cute and silly pictures of you and Jason ran over the huge screen behind you. Some were of you and Jason in a face mask, others were of Jason cuddling with Nyx. You occasionally glanced over to Jason who was doing his best to hold back his tears with the biggest smile on his face. Your heart swelled at the sight.

With the last bit of music fading out, you finished the song and bowed. The picture remaining on the screen was of you and Jason kissing with a sunset in the background. A heart was drawn around it. The minute the last words left your lips, Jason was storming on stage, showering you in kisses. He held you tightly against him, peppering kisses all over your face. His actions made you giggle into the microphone and the crowd went wild. The security guards were really struggling by this point.

You grabbed Jason's hand and slipped one of the two paper rings on his finger, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. The dam broke. There were happy tears rolling down his cheeks as he continued kissing you. Managing to pull away, you addressed your fans one last time. "Thank you, and Good Night, Gotham!"

You squealed when Jason unexpectedly picked you up bridal style and whisked you off stage, your head thrown back in laughter. It was safe to say you were on the front page of the Gotham Gazette the next day.

Jason was talking his heart out on the way home, talking about how much he loved it and how much he loved you. You were listening patiently, holding his hand while a big smile was plastered on your cheeks.

Now, you found yourself in the familiar spot on the couch, Jason's arms wrapped around you with little Nyx making biscuits on your thigh. "I have one question for you, though," you said, turning your head to Jason. "What is it?" He replied softly.

"How the fuck did you not get the play on your own name?"

"Oh, shut up." He pouted, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You let out a soft laugh.

"I love you too, Baby."

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#bumblebeesfromvenus #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #jason todd x reader #red hood x you #red hood x reader #red hood #batboys x reader

[mrswint3rs]

NSFW Phoenix wright x reader were the reader is wearing lingerie and then making love yes.

Mutual Gift

pairings- Phoenix Wright x Fem Reader

summary- Phoenix buys you lingerie for Christmas.

NSFW WARNING:

          contains- unprotected sex, breeding kink (if you squint), oral sex (f!receiving), cock warming, lingerie/underwear fetishism, little bit of fluff?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You and Phoenix are sitting on the couch together, in front of the TV and under a warm blanket. Snowflakes fall outside, making for a dreamy Christmas setting.

Phoenix leans over, placing a kiss on your forehead as he nuzzles his face against you. He wraps his arms around your waist, his body pressed firmly against yours as he smiles.

"I was going to let this wait until after dinner," he whispers, "But I couldn't help myself."

He leaves the room for a moment, then returns with a package in his hands. He passes it to you. "From me to you," he says, the faintest trace of pink touching his cheeks.

You open the box to reveal a gorgeous butterfly themed lolita lingerie set. Curious fingers touch your new undergarments, feeling the lace of the butterfly back, the sheer black fabric of the crotchless panty set accompanied by a sexy pair of thigh high stockings.

"I feel like this is more of a present to you than it is to me.." you tease.

"I think that's the idea, love." Phoenix chuckles. "But that doesn't mean you won't get any enjoyment out of it. I'd say it's a win win situation."

He kisses your neck, his lips trailing down to your chest. He pauses for a moment, his voice dropping to a husky whisper.

"Go try it on for me," he says. His mouth curves up in a grin as he glances at the set in your arms. "I want to see how it fits you."

Your cheeks flush with excitement, and you quickly dart off to put on the new apparel. 

As you finish, you see yourself in the mirror - the lingerie looks stunning on you, its' intricate design emphasizing every curve. You feel a rush of power as you strike a few poses, imagining how Phoenix will look at you in it.

A few minutes later, you call for him.

"Phoenix, come see me,"

You lie sprawled out on the bed, looking even sexier than ever. Phoenix walks into the room, his mouth hanging open as he stares down at you.

"Well, maybe it is a present for both of us after all," you say, sitting up and smiling up at him. "But the first thing I want for Christmas is..."

Before you can finish, Phoenix cuts in, leaning down to place his lips on yours. It's a slow and hungry kiss, his hands roaming over your body.

"You really look stunning in that," he breathes once he pulls away, "better than I imagined." His eyes drink you in for a moment, making his cock twitch in his restraints. He couldn't wait anymore and quickly started unfastening his belt and slipping out of his pants.

Phoenix moves back in, pulling you closer and planting a long, deep kiss on your lips. You can feel his warm and gentle touch, his fingers kneading your back as he pulls you closer. Your bodies are pressed up against each other, his arms wrapped around you and your fingers tangled in his hair.

He breaks away, panting softly. "You're like a living work of art," he whispers.

Your legs wrap around his waist and he carries you back down onto the mattress, eager to make you his. his lips travel down your exposed skin. He takes his time, his tongue circling your stiffened nipple through the see through mesh, suckling softly.

When he pulls away you feel the cold air hit. His eyes are looking you over once more, the hunger that you see in them making your spine tingle in just the right way. You feel vulnerable and yet safe at the same time, wrapped up in the arms of this man who makes you feel like nothing else in the world matters.

"I love you, Phoenix." you moan as his mouth wanders down your happy trail to the opening of your panties.

Without hesitation he dives right into your wetness. "Mnn, love you too, my angel. Taste so sweet..." You instinctively grip his hair as he licks at your sensitive nub.

He makes out with your pussy like a starved animal, lapping at whatever he can access. You struggle to keep quiet, your mewls and heavy breathing filling the room. Even more so when his thick fingers find their way into your drenched hole. He pumps his digits, rapidly bringing you to orgasm.

"Cum all over my face angel, c'mon." he urges, his voice sending vibrations through you. He continues finger fucking you, enjoying the way you writhe and moan at every sensation. Your thighs clenched around his head.

"O-oh god...Phoenix..." you cry, your orgasm coming in full force.

You cream deliciously around his fingers, your hand gripping his hair painfully hard.

"Good girl..." He presses a few final kisses to your clit before pulling back, is face wet with your juices. "I'm so hard it hurts baby," he groans, "please, let me in."

You quickly oblige, spreading your legs for him on the edge of the bed.

Not wasting time, he grips his throbbing member, rubbing his needy tip along your slick folds. Slowly he slips into you, inch by inch filling you.

He lets out a hiss, feeling how you clench around him unbearably tight. The head of his dick kissing your cervix as he bottoms out inside you.

He peers down at you with pure love and he starts moving his hips, staring into your eyes as he loses himself inside of you.

Your legs wrap around his waist once more, feet resting just above his ass, allowing him to go deeper.

"Mmnn shit baby, so fuckin' good...you take me so good." he moans out his words, bullying his cock into you even faster. He struggles to keep himself together, his brain turning to mush.

"Love you so much angel," he whines, "so much."

His balls slap against your ass with every thrust making lewd sounds. Phoenix was clinging to you for dear life as if he couldn't hold himself up.

His hips stutter and he can't hold it in anymore, thick ropes of cum spurting deep into your womb and whimpering your name like a prayer.

"I love you too..." you babble, gripping his back and holding him tight against you. The flush of his cheeks laid right against your chest.

"Fuck..." he grunts, slowly pulling out of you before plunging back to keep his cum from spilling out.

In his weakened state, he lets himself rest on top of you, his cock steadily twitching inside of you.

His strong arms wrap around your waist as he holds himself against you, just basking in the aftermath and catching his breath.

"Merry Christmas," he smiles coyly, "about dinner..."

You roll your eyes playfully, "Yes, I'll cook. But you gotta get off of me first."

"Mnn," he groans, "Never mind then. I don't wanna move."

mlist

#fanfiction #phoenix wright ace attorney #phoenix wright x reader #phoenix wright #ace attorney #smut #fem reader #christmas #anon ask #phoenix x reader #ace attorney x reader

[itsascreambaby96]

Hi can youwrite somethingwith an ghostface!Robin Buckley x reader sorry if it's too unspecific

if it is please let my know

Thanks :)

A/N:Honestly I love the idea of Ghostface!Robin! Thank you so much for the request!

Warnings: suggestive, but no full on smut. Fluff.

Pairing: Robin Buckley x reader

I bleed for you

Halloween was your favourite holiday. All of your friends knew that. Your girlfriend, Robin, on the other hand hated it. She hates getting jumpscared, the screams and just everything about it. The only positive thing about it is getting candy for free. But you also got candy on Christmas and Valentine's Day so it didn't really count in her opinion.

Nevertheless she loved you and she loves seeing you all excited. Ever since October started there was a constant smile on your lips. The vibe of the month just got to you. Though Robin knew for you Halloween started way earlier. It always made her giggle when you tried to explain it to her, as it made zero sense to her.

But Robin listened to your every rambled speech. Her eyes shining with love as she looked at you, your hands gesturing wildly around, your excitement almost getting her in the Halloween spirit too. She was so helplessly in love with you. Robin would do anything for you.

That's why she dragged Steve along last minute, really it was one day before Halloween, and Robin now decided to surprise you and show up at your Halloween party tomorrow in costume. You told her multiple times that she didn't had to dress up, that you totally understood that it wasn't her scene at all. Robin's heart clenched at the memory, how considerate you were in regards of her feelings. But it also just confirmed her in making this decision.

But as it was only a day before Halloween most of the good costumes were gone. Robin groaned as Steve showed her yet another stupid Angel costume. This really wasn't her. She knew what you liked. And those were definitely not it.

"Steve I told you those look stupid!"

"Well who knows maybe they suit you. You haven't tried them on yet." He gave Robin a big grin and started to laugh as Robin threw him a look. She was about to give him a snarky retort, when she saw the perfect costume. She knew your love for horror movies. Especially slasher films. Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream. All those. She knew you absolutely adored them! Why? She had no idea.

"I dunno Robs there is just something about a killer being absolutely obsessed with you that just gets me. You know?" But Robin didn't know. What she did know was that you would absolutely love her if you saw her in that costume.

She pushed Steve aside and took the black robe and the white mask. A fake knife was also part of the costume.

Steve gave her a look, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Robin bought the costume with a satisfied smile. She couldn't wait to see your face oncw you realise Robin would make one of your fantasies come true.

The next day came and Robin got ready late afternoon. She hadn't yet told you that she was to show up at your party. Fully intending on surprising you. The robe luckily fit her well enough and the mask wasn't unbearable. What she wouldn't do for you. Luckily she had some black boots to go with the outfit. She took the fake knife and went out as she heard Steve's car.

Steve complimented her costume.

"Though I still think the Angel costume would have fit better." He chuckled.

He had his doubts if she could pull it off. But as she looked at him with those big black empty eyes like she actually wanted to kill him, he was convinced.

"What even are you supposed to be?"

"Really? Robin I am Han Solo come on!" he groaned. He had put actual effort into his costume.

Robin snorted. "What you are hoping to find your princess Leia?"

He gave her a wink. The both of them laughing. The drive was fun as always and as they parked they could already see people having a good time.

Your house was decorated on theme. Spider webs, skeletons, spiders, blood, ghosts, anything you could think of that screamed Halloween, was here. But it wasn't cheesy. You actually knew what you were doing. You took this serious.

Steve left Robin as soon as they entered. She was looking around for you as soon as she was inside. She spotted you, greeting Steve, who hugged you and went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

Robin took in your costume.

You wore a pink dress, it was pretty and you looked ever the prom queen, if it weren't for the blood covering you head to toe, even the tiara you wore. She remembered how you told her that you had found the perfect dress months ago. Complementing your curves perfectly. You had refused to show her beforehand and Robin had pouted at it. But it was worth seeing you now.

Covered in blood and you still were the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Robin licked her lips under the mask. She was about to go over to you but then she got an idea and refrained from greeting you.

She grinned. This night was about to be fun.

You were talking with some of your friends, but you could feel eyes on you. Looking around, you saw who they belonged to. Well not exactly who, as you had no idea who was under that mask, but your breath hitched never the less. Now you were a faithful girlfriend and would never ever cheat on Robin. But seeing a Ghostface here made you giddy in a way that you couldn't explain.

You were certain that Robin was home. You would never pressure her in coming to this sort of thing. You weren't mad at her for it, never could. You respect her too much. You could picture her watching some cheesy movie instead of a horror movie, snuggled up on the couch, occasionally handing candy out to kids. A soft smile graced your lips at the thought. Unbeknownst to you Robin saw. She watched you like a hawk.

You gave the starring Ghostface a polite wave and turned back to your conversation. Still you could feel those dead eyes still watching you. Throwing a glance over your shoulder you saw them still looking at you, twirling a knife in their hand, fidgeting almost. It reminded you a bit of Robin. You smiled again at them and turned around to go meet your other friends.

For the whole night you could feel these eyes on you. Whenever you looked the Ghostface was somewhere near, staring at you. It kinda gave you chills. And you tried to stick close to your friends.

Now nearing the end you haven't seen the white mask in over half an hour. Conviced that they must have left.

As you said goodbye to the last of your friends you closed the door. It was somewhere around 3 in the morning. You were tired as hell but you also knew you had to clean up. With a sigh you started in the kitchen. Deep in thoughts about how strange this one person was being all night, you heard a noise. Jumping slightly you looked into the dark living room. But you saw nothing.

With a sigh you returned to your task at hand. But then another noise made you jump.

"Hello? Is someone there?" You called out. A second later you realised how stupid and cliché that sounded. Is someone there, how stupid could you be? You always groaned when someone in a horror movie said that.

Deciding that it must be a guest who didn't get the call that the party was over now, you went into the living room. Turning on the lights you saw none. Confused you looked around. You went onto the patio and turned on the light there too. Nothing.

From the corner of your eye you saw a reflection in the glass door. Whipping around you saw none there. Blinking you rubbed your eyes.

"I must be fucking tired." You mumbled. Dragging yourself back into the kitchen you froze. There in the middle of the kitchen stood the Ghostface from earlier. He twirled his knife on the counter, waving teasingly at you. You really hoped that this knife was fake.

"The party is over. Please leave."

The figure remained as if not hearing you.

"You need to go!" You said with more urgency. The figure tilted it's head at you before lunging at you. With a panicked scream you darted to the living room. The Ghostface hot on your heals. You threw a pillow at them as some form of self defense. You heard the Ghostface chuckle and you could have sworn you knew that chuckle. But you couldn't think clearly right now, scared for your life.

You made a run for the stairs, hoping to get to your room and lock you in. Safe. That was all you could think about.

You almost made it but the Ghostface caught up to you, you could hear them panting. With a cry of yourself you were pinned against the wall beside your door. A whimper left your throat.

"Please... Please don't kill me." You were actually frighten.

"As if I could ever hurt you." The voice spoke. And that voice! You knew it immediately. Your eyes snapped open and a relieved sigh paired with a cry left your lips. Robin lifted her mask smiling brightly at you.

"Surprise?" She was a bit unsure of your reaction now. She could see how scared you were. But a laugh escaped you. A beautiful laugh and Robin was relieved you weren't mad.

"That truly was something else Robs!"You gave her a kiss, still giggling.

"I didn't think you had it in you! I was actually scared!" You smiled at her.

"Honestly I am surprised myself."

"So what do you think of costume?" Robin asked, doing a little twirl. You eyed her up and down.

"Honestly? You look damn sexy as a killer?"

She gave you a wide grin. "Really?"

You nodded, giving her a wicked grin. "Why don't you show me what's underneath this robe?" Opening the door to your room, you walked in backwards. Still watching Robin and how her cheeks tinted back. The confidence she had seconds before already gone. She followed you into the room like a lost puppy. The two of you screaming for a whole nother reason the rest of the night.

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #robin buckley x you #robin buckley smut #robin buckley imagine #bea's writing #stranger things 3 #stranger things 4 #ghostface!robin

[shiggyscumrag]

Here, have this little Christmas special because i love you all <3

Walking through the door with a pretty light patrol Bakugou takes off his shoes and leaves his gloves at the door. Sighing he heads towards the kitchen when suddenly a note on the floor gets his attention. Bending down he picks it up, noticing its a folded envelope with a heart taping it together. Opening and unfolding the paper it creates a bigger heart with a letter on it. It reads:

"My Love, Katsuki,

I know work has been extremely stressful to your mind and body these past few weeks with the holidays rolling around, so I wanted to surprise you witha well earned gift. So Merry Christmas my love, how about you go to the kitchen and grab the snack I prepared you.

Your Dearest, Y/n"

Walking down the hall and into the kitchen he sees sugar cookies and a glass of milk waiting for him. As well as another note leaning against the glass. Picking it up and unfolding it he takes a bite out of one of the cookies and begins to read:

"My Dearest, Katsuki,

I'm sure you find this all to be a bit elaborate, maybe even a little ridiculous. However, I think you deserve it. Deserve to be spoiled that is. So, in order for that to happen you'll need to head to the laundry room after you finish your snack to find your next little surprise.

Your Love, Y/n

P.S. the cookies are low carb and the milk is the almond milk you like since you're on your strict work diet."

Letting out a small grunt he finishes the two other cookies and gulps down the milk. You really did know him a little to well. He loved it though. He never really thought he'd have the chance to learn and love everything about him like you've grown to do.

Making his way into the laundry room he finds a box rapped in a beautiful red wrapping paper with big bold letters that read "OPEN ME" in black sharpie. Complying he rips open the wrapping paper and takes of the lid. He finds another note with a heart on top of something wrapped in tissue paper. He opens the note first that read:

"My Beloved, Katsuki,

I see you're actually going along with my little surprise, and I can already tell you that it makes me extremely happy. I've been wanting to do something like this for months and it's been hard cause I wanted everything to be perfect for the most perfect guy. So as a last little happy why don't you wear this and meet me in our bedroom. I'll be waiting ♡

Your Heart, Y/n"

Putting the letter to the side he unwraps the tissue paper to find a new pair of boxers waiting for him. He finds another note on top that reads "P.S. they have already been washed and cleaned ready to be worn!" With little hearts doodled all over the paper. With a chuckle he decides to give into your little game and begins to strip to put on his new gift.

Putting his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper he makes his way across the hall and knocks on your shared bedroom door.

"May I come in?" He asks snarkly.

"Of course, as long as you've been a good boy this year." He hears you speak through the door. He can feel himself begin to get hard at your words, your sultry voice making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Opening the door slowly he sees you sitting on the edge of the bed in a sexy Santa outfit. A red silk dress fitted your body as white fur ran along the edges. Black silk gloves ran up your arms and stopped right above your elbows and a red Santa hat sat a top your head. Walking over to him he noticed you also had dark red lipstick on. He couldn't help the groan that slid past his lips ashe gripped your waist pulling you against his now hard cock. You were the first to speak up, a slight smirk on your face. Looking down and grabbing his cock your smirk deepens.

"It seems to me you've been quite a naughty boy."

Happy holidays everyone!!

#bnha x reader #mha smut #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bnha smut #bakugou imagine #bakugou smut #writing #anime #bakugo katuski #bakugou drabble #bakugou katsuki smut #mha bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo #smut bnha #smut mha #bnha katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki smut #katsukibakugou

[yelenasdiary]

Can you possibly do a dribble with Kate Bishop where she wakes up to find reader already outside bearfoot playing in the snow

☃️ Baby, It's Cold Outside ☃️

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Reader

Summary: Even in snow, the cold weather couldn’t stop you from loving this moment.

Fluff | 0.7K | No Warnings | 

AC: I’ve never seen snow and all I have ever wanted to do as a kid was build a damn snowman!

Day 4 | Advent Calendar Masterlist 🎄

Lying in bed with Kate snuggled warmly against you was something you'd never get over, the way her body seemed to fit perfectly with yours always brought a sense of home to you. Even though you were loving every second of hearing Kate's soft and adorable snores, you could see flakes of snow falling from the crack in the curtains. A smile tugged at your lips with Christmas being one of your favorite holidays, you couldn't wait to be outside in the snow. Gently you slipped out from under Kate, replacing your body with your pillow careful not to wake her as you crept around the apartment grabbing your coat. 

The fresh smell of cold air oddly made you feel warm as you took the first steps outside with fresh snow between your toes, you didn't mind so much that you couldn't find your slippers. Spinning around as snowflakes freely fell from the sky, Kate's raspy morning voice startled you. 

"Baby, where the hell are your slippers?!" She spoke with concern that your feet would freeze. "Shhh" you hushed with a finger to your lips, "come here" you added with now open arms. Kate shook her head and quickly headed back inside where it was warm, grabbing your slippers that were left by the sofa last night after watching cheesy Christmas films on Netflix. "Put your slippers one because I'm not taking you the emergency room when your toes go black" she returned with your Christmas themed slippers in hand, but you were too distracted by making a snow angel to even look in her direction. 

"Come make snow angels with me!" You smiled as you continued moving your arms up and down and your legs side to side, "you're crazy!" Kate giggled as she walked over to you and laid down in the snow beside you, "please put your slippers on" she begged as you turned to face her. You smiled and sat up, taking the slippers from her hands and putting them on. 

"Happy?" You smiled as you leant over to her, capturing her lips with yours, "now I am" she smiled against your lips. Her eyes sparkled as snowflakes landed in her hair, a beauty so strong you couldn't help but admire her as she made her own snow angel next to yours. Kate blushed when she noticed you couldn't keep your eyes off her, smiling once more to hide the redness in her cheeks.

 "SNOWBALL FIGHT!" You called as you made a snow ball and threw it gently at Kate, "Really?! I wasn't even ready!" She jumped up with a wide smile. "You're an avenger, aren't you supposed to be ready at all times?" you chuckled before balling up another snowball. "Careful what you say baby" Kate replied as she kneeled down and grabbed a hand full of snow. 

The snowball fight was full of laughter as you both tried to dodge each other by hiding behind cars parked on the street, trees and light posts but by the end, you both were covered in snow and crying of laughter. "You really do have great aim!" You walked over to Kate with your hands up in defeat, "And to think I was going easy on you" she smirked, dropping her last snowball to the ground. "You call that easy?!" You cocked a brow, walking closer to her as your hands landed on her hips. 

"I don't want to hurt your feelings" Kate playfully pouted as she wrapped her arms around the back of your neck. Snowflakes continued to fall freely from the sky, covering the pair of you tiny ice chips as you looked into her eyes, "I think you just don't want to admit defeat" you replied cheekily, Kate chuckled, "shut up and kiss me" she said, her eyes falling to your lips. 

"Admit defeat" you smirked. "Fine, I'll do it myself, because it's cold as shit out here" Kate lent in, kissing you so softly that you almost felt the snowflakes falling into your hair. As she pulled away you couldn't help but pull her back in, "More" you mumbled before kissing her once more. 

"I admit it" Kate smiled, "you won, now can we please go inside?" She added.

"One more, please?" You smirked knowing she couldn't say no to how adorable you looked.

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @kiwiana145  | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok |  @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145  | @valiantmugcowboyscissors | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @musicinourlips | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | 

#kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #fanfiction #marvel #hawkeye #christmas

[ghost-is-bae]

Xavier Plympton Imagine- winter special

Summary : When you catch a chest infection on Christmas eve, your lovely boyfriend has to look after you over the celebrative period but he really doesn't mind :)

Warnings: In detail description of a chest infection, but that's it! Just pure fluff!

~

~

The winter months never seemed to bother Xavier. He would just wrap up in colourful hoodies and jackets, whereas you were just ill every damn day of December. It was like a Christmas curse. The first week you end up with a runny and red nose, the second week you end up with a really sore throat and the week leading up to Christmas. Well, It's a fucker. You end up with clogged ears, a headache, blocked sinuses and a killer chest infection.

Lucky for you, It was the same this year. Apart from the fact that you almost ended up in A&E because of the severity of it. Poor Xavier had to look after you for a whole month! Today started off the same for you. You woke up with a banging headache and you couldn't hear anything. You tried to sigh but ended up in a large, ferocious coughing fit. "Baby, are you okay?" Xavier's muffled voice rang through your ears as his warm hands glided gently over your arms that were caged in your thick, fluffy pyjamas.

"Yeah...I'm okay. It's just the weather." You voice came out very nasally and congested which made Xavier's heart ache. He knew how much this time of year affected you and he knew that he couldn't do anything about it. "Do you want me to book you a doctor's appointment?" you shook your head slowly, "I'll be alright. You need to get ready for your aerobics lesson!" Xavier sighed because of your stubbornness and the fact that you were always right. He had to teach a few Christmas aerobics classes (I don't know what I'm on about! ) so he kissed your red nose and got out of the cosy bed.

You closed your eyes and let out a wheezing breath before curling back into a ball and trying to get more sleep.

~

Xavier had left 3 hours before you had woken up again so you were all alone for a few more hours. You slowly slid out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen to make some chamomile tea and take some cold and flu pills. You weren't that hungry so you had some porridge and strawberries. You then decided to get dressed and go to the doctors after you almost coughed up a lung and vomited at the same time. Your chest ached every time you took a breath and there was a wall of mucus stuck in your throat that made you feel nauseous every time you swallowed.

You changed into a fluffy red sweater, a pair of soft cotton-lined leggings, black and white stripy fluffy socks and your favourite pair of ugg boots. You then threw on a large puffy black coat, a black beanie and some matching black gloves. You had previously booked your doctor's appointment so you just went straight out. You got into your car and quickly turned the engine and heating on before starting your short journey into town.

~

When you got there, you entered the doctor's office and signed in. You had to wait about 20 minutes before you were called in to see your usual doctor. "Ah, Y/n! What are you doing here again? Is it the weather?" You nodded as you sat down tiredly. "What's the biggest issue then?" he asked whilst putting a pair of latex gloves on, "It's my chest mostly. It's worse then last year-" You interrupted yourself by a string of mucus-filled, shallow coughs and a lot of chest pain afterwards. "It's sounds like it could be a chest infection so I'll just do a quick assessment and I'll prescribe you some antibiotics."

~

When you got home you were absolutely knackered (Brits get it:) and you felt even worse than before but when you saw that familiar blonde hair over the top of the couch, you instantly felt better. "I'm home," You murmured as you took your coat and shoes off. "Where'd you go?" Xavier asked after pressing a kiss to your warm forehead and laying your down next to him, with your head on his lap.

"I went to the doctors because I felt like absolute dog shit and turns out I have another chest infection. I can go back to my parents for Christmas if you want, I don't want you to get sick as well." He shook his head adamantly before looking into your eyes lovingly and saying, "I'm not just gonna leave you to suffer over Christmas. That would be an awful thing to do- I'm your boyfriend, Y/n. I have the duty of caring for you y'know?" You smiled and cuddled into his torso whilst you went to wrap your arms around his waist.

"Merry fuckin' Christmas." You said sarcastically. Xavier's loud laugh filled the room but your loud dog bark of a cough overlapped it, "I should probably go and take my meds." What a lovely way to spend Christmas eve, huh?

~

Sorry for the awful ending. I really can't write for shit! Anyway, I was trying to write using more British dialect because I hate being a Brit and having to write in an American accent. I hope you liked this and I'm sorry that there wasn't much Xavier x reader because I like to describe too much and then it ends up being like 10k words long.

Thanks,

Ava (The author :)

#imagine #christmas #xavier plympton #xavier x reader #cody fern #winter

[hermionegalathynius]

Sweet Sixteen (4/11)

I know it’s not Christmas in this fic, but we’re currently three days away, so I’m going to take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas!!

Anyway, one with the show.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Ravenclaw!Reader

Warnings: I have a Hufflepuff OC who’s a bit of a b*tch, and I just wanted to say now that I have no qualms with Hufflepuff whatsoever. They are my sister house (I’m a Ravenclaw) because they know how it feels to be under appreciated. I just didn’t want to be generic and make the annoying ex a Slytherin and I didn’t think her being In Gryffindor would work for the storyline.

Enjoy ;)

"So, how did it go?" Sienna asked at lunch in the Great Hall. 

  Y/n had just come back from her first tutoring session with Sirius. If she was being honest, it really wasn't as bad as she'd expected. Sure, he'd flirted with her in the beginning, but as soon as she'd asked him to stop he had. From then on he'd been, well, serious. He had listened to her and cooperated and by the end of the lesson he could recount everything they had gone over almost perfectly. He had cracked a joke every now an then and made a few flirty comments but those were more for laughs than they were for seduction purposes. Y/n had actually enjoyed it, though she would never admit it to anyone. The only thing that had bothered her was the way her heart had fluttered slightly when he'd slid into the seat opposite her and given her that famous, Sirius Black grin. 

  "I couldn't leave a lovely girl like yourself waiting, now could I?"

  Those words had almost made her blush. Almost.

  Because he was still Sirius Black. Hogwarts playboy. Heartbreaker. It didn't matter that this morning was the first time she'd spoken to him for more than a few moments, or that he had worked hard like she asked him to, or that when she'd told him about the extra credit she would be getting she could have sworn disappointment flashed across his face for a split second. None of that mattered because she was a smart girl. A logical girl. And falling for Sirius Black was the most illogical thing she could ever do. Besides, it's not like her reaction to his words meant anything. It was a natural reaction under the circumstances. 

  "Y/n? How did it go?" Sienna's voice brought Y/n out of her thoughts and she realised she had been sitting there in silence after her friend had asked her a question.

  "Oh! Um, it was okay, I guess. It's not exactly supposed to be fun, right?" She said, not totally convinced what she was saying was the truth.

  Sienna was still giving her that concerned look so she added, "I'm fine, Si. Stop fussing. I just zoned out, that's all."

  Her friend didn't look convinced but dropped the subject. Y/n was relieved when she did, not really wanting this new development to take over aspects of her life. They chatted about nothing for a while, munching on the sandwiches the house elves had put out for lunch. Y/n found herself acutely aware of Sirius and his friends a few meters away, talking and laughing at Gryffindor table. The Marauders was what they called themselves. An odd name, but fitting, she had always thought. Their nicknames, however, never really made sense to her. She knew Remus was Moony, as she'd heard James calling him that a few times, but she couldn't remember for the life of her what the others were. All she remembered was that they were odd and clearly had a strange backstory that she didn't know. 

  Why was she so curious about them anyway? It wasn't like she had ever paid much attention to them before. 

  Y/n shook those thoughts out of her head and tried to focus on her friend.

———

  Sirius had to resist a groan of annoyance when Abby Stoffhuis walked into the courtyard and made a beeline for where he and the other Marauders were sitting. James and Remus did not resist, however, and they both grumbled angrily in Sirius's direction as the blonde Hufflepuff drew nearer.

  "It's not my fault she's an obsessive psychopath," Sirius muttered to his friends just before she stopped in front of him.

  "Sirius!" She exclaimed, that sickly sweet smile pasted on her make-up covered face. Sirius resisted the urge to wince at her high-pitched voice and the way she batted her eyelashes. How had he ever found her attractive?

  Oh right. He'd been an idiot looking to do something that would piss off his parents. An unknowing Hufflepuff girl seemed to be the most obvious option. Figures she would become his own personal stalker when they broke up after two weeks of dating. 

  "Hey, Abby," he said, trying to sound a lot less uncomfortable than he felt, "How's it going?"

  She latched onto his arm with her red-tipped fingers and purred up at him, "Much better now that I've found you," then with a pout, "You've been missing the whole morning."

  Sirius carefully pride her fingers off of his jacket and took a step back only to have her take a step forward. James snorted and quickly covered it up with a cough, making Remus stuff his fist in his mouth to prevent breaking out in laughter too. 

  "I was at tutoring the whole morning. Y/n's helping me with Muggle studies," he said, then immediately wished he hadn't.

  Abby's brown eyes darkened and her face grew murderous, "Y/n L/n? The girl you couldn't stop staring at while on our date in Hogsmead?" She hissed.

  Sirius sighed, "Yes, Abby. On our date in Hogsmead two years ago. We're not dating anymore, remember?"

  People were starting to stare at the scene Abby was making as she clenched her fists. Even Regulus and his friends had stopped brooding long enough to glance in their direction. Sirius's patience was growing thin.

  "Of course I remember," was all Addy said, "See you later Sirius."

  And finally, finally she walked away. However, Sirius had a pretty good idea of who she was walking away to find and internally groaned at all the progress he had made with Y/n being washed down the drain.

———

  The following morning was Monday. Y/n's least favourite day of the week. Just because she was a school-loving Ravenclaw, didn't mean she liked waking up early after a late night of relaxing to go to class and socialise. And of course this particular Monday had to turn out worse than usual. 

  "Oh no. Abby Stoffhuis approaching ten o'clock," Sienna murmured to Y/n as they were walking to their usual spot at the Ravenclaw table. 

  Y/n frowned in confusion as she realised the girl was glaring at her. What could Abigail Stoffhuis, a Hufflepuff and one of the many people at Hogwarts that Y/n had never conversed more than two words with, want with her? They weren't even in the same house, so there was absolutely nothing connecting them. Unless...

  Abby had been Sirius's first girlfriend, if Y/n's memory served her correctly. She'd only known about it through the grapevine at the time but if the rumours were true then Sirius had broken up with her after two weeks and she had been obsessed with him ever since. And Y/n had spent three hours alone with Sirius yesterday teaching him Muggle Studies. 

  "Dammit, she's mad because I tutored Black yesterday," Y/n told Sienna as Abby got up from her seat and started storming towards them. 

  "Ouch, RIP to you then," Sienna replied which earned her a glare from her friend. 

  "I could take that barbie doll any day," Y/n muttered.

  "What's a barbie doll?"

  However, Y/n never got to answer because Abigail Stoffhuis chose that moment to interrupt their conversation. 

  "L/n," she started, her brown doll eyes glaring into Y/n's e/c ones, "I heard you and Sirius had a tutoring session yesterday morning." The way she said 'tutoring session' made it sound like that wasn't at all what they'd really been doing. Of course that was what Abby would assume happened, because she was so naively unaware that not everyone was as open to snogging anything with lips as she was. 

  "We did have a tutoring session upon Professor Sikander's request we do so. Do you have a problem with that?" Y/n replied coolly, already exasperated beyond measure. 

  Abby only deepened her scowl and moved forward until she was far too close for Y/n's liking. 

  "Stay away from Sirius Black," she growled, the sound so animalistic it made Y/n wonder if this girl wasn't just a territorial cat who'd been transfigured into a human. 

  She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "Honestly, Stoffhuis. You can't be that dense? Do you really expect me to disobey a teacher's direct orders just because you can't get over some guy who dumped you after two weeks?"

  Abby bristled — actually bristled — and pointed a finger at Y/n, "He's not just some guy, he's my soulmate. I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on him."

  Y/n couldn't suppress the look of absolute shock, disbelief and amusement that took over her face at those words. She actually thought Sirius was her soulmate? She was delusional. Crazy. Insane. 

  Instead of expressing her exact thoughts on Abby's declaration, Y/n shook her head and mused, "Black's birthday was two weeks ago. Don't you think he would have told you by now if it's your name on his arm?"

  She seemed to regain some of her control and shrugged nonchalantly, "You don't know him like I do. He's probably just nervous to tell me."

  Y/n scoffed a laughed and started to turn away but Abby grabbed her arm angrily and put her mouth by Y/n's ear.

  "You'll regret ever laughing at me, L/n," she spat softly before releasing her grip and stalking off.

  "What. The bloody hell. Was that?" Sienna said, staring after the Hufflepuff with a baffled expression filling her features. 

  Y/n's face mirrored her friend's as she replied, "It looks like I just made myself an enemy of Abigail Stoffhuis."

Tag list:

@obscurilicious

@hphufflefan

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius x y/n #sirius orion black #sirius black x ravenclaw!reader #harry potter #fanfiction #hp fandom #fanfic #fanfic writing #james potter #moony #padfoot #prongs #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #wormtail #peter pettigrew #remus john lupin #remus lupin #remus x y/n #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #ravenclaw reader #the marauders fanfiction #the maraunders map #marauders #the marauders

[illadvisedselfships]

Merry Christmas in Australia!!!!

I have something to offer you on this holly holiday. F/O Christmas imagines!

Imagine celebrating Christmas with Callahan. He's pretty loaded, so you're definitely getting high end gifts. Buuuuuttt that's not all! You know those Christmasy fun things you see on YouTube or TikTok that you want to do, but you know it's out of your pay grade? Like a hot chocolate bar, or more fancy baked desserts that require specific ingredients? Well, sure Callahan is a jerk... But, for you, I'm certain he'll accommodate whatever you want to try... As long as you return the favor with whatever he wants to do with you 😏

Imagine trying to pull Cruella away from work. Before you, she probably worked through Christmas if she wasn't invited to any masquerades or parties. This year, nothing of the sort happened, so your mean wife is trying to get a head start on her spring fashion line. But you know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a nice, at-home Christmas with your high class Cruella. Cruella may not be so easily swayed by your femine wiles like Callahan, though you are the only one on the planet who has a smidgen of a chance at getting Cruella out of her office and in her furs with a mug of cocoa. Do you succeed?

Imagine a cozy little Christmas with Jim!! He is a tad upset he didn't get a good poaching job before; he really wanted to treat you this year his inner sugar daddy shines through on your birthday and Christmas I bet. But you know how to take his mind off of it ^^ you tell him you don't need some fancy present or anything like that. All you need is your favorite outdoors man, some Christmas movies and snacks, and a blanket big enough for you two to share- or better yet, one of his flannels 😏

Imagine that since Otis celebrates Christmas early for you, you don't have to worry about fitting him in your Christmas Visits schedule so much. You can see him first! I.... Can't guarantee that the way the Fireflies celebrate Christmas is very family friendly. But I can say that Otis is definitely gonna try to be gross about the mistletoe tradition with you. Also, you can get away with putting a Santa hat on him this year. He'll be a grump about it, act like he doesn't want it, but note how he doesn't take it off (if it were Baby, he would have. But it came from you ^^)

I hope these put a smile on your face! Even if they are a little OOC I bet 😅 Merry Christmas!

Merry (belated) Christmas Eve In America!!!

SARAH!!

I completely wasn't expecting this- thank you so so much!! As you know I accidentally woke up way too early but it was completely completely worth it to read this and thank you before all the Christmas craziness began!!

Ahhh! These are so perfect, my heart is feeling all squirmy!! XDD They fueled me all day XD No really, whenever I got tired 💤💤💤 I started thinking about them and felt better XD

And- of course- I couldn't help it and had to write lil x reader excerpts for each of these ideas below the cut XDD I wanted to write them all, but the Christmas vibes are slipping away from me- so I just did Callahan and Otis! (Truly couldn't resist XD) XD I LOVED THEM ALL, THOUGH, I ASSURE YOU! XD

(Professor) Callahan x reader:

You weren't sure about staying over Christmas eve and spending Christmas morning with Aaron- it seemed pretty close. Intimate. Sentimental, for him. Sure, you were becoming closer but he didn't seem the type to do Christmas.

Definitely a Scrooge type, you thought.

But you're surprised to see him put in some effort this morning! Sure, he's just sitting there at the kitchen table with bedhead in his pyjamas (An oddly casual navy blue t-shirt and sweatpants combo that always makes you feel a little hot. Or a lot depending on how close he stood to you) drinking a black coffee while you open up expensive presents he shouldn't have got you and peer excitedly into a box of beautiful Christmas breakfast pastries he ordered this morning for you both, but its nice. Its... conventional, except for the fanciness of his townhouse and the gifts he got you. Its just the two of you, not flirting not fucking not arguing, just spending an almost domestic Moment together. It would almost be traditional, if it weren't for the nature of your relationship hanging over your heads- though you don't really mind that. Its cosy!

Finally after thanking him profusely for the gifts, and telling him he really didn't need to get you that much!!, you go get him his present; setting it in front of him with a childish Christmas eagerness. "This one's for you! Go ahead, open it."

"I can see you wrapped it yourself," He teases, picking it up with one hand and silently laughing at the crazy bad wrapping. Sighing and rolling your eyes with a grin, you shake your head at him and urge him to go on then- go on- stop harassing me about my sad gift wrapping skills and open it!

While he opens it, telling you he was looking for one of these when he realises what it is, you go and pick out a pastry for yourself and a Christmas tree donut for him, and sit down in the chair beside him; angling your knees towards him and resting your own feet on top of his under the table. He picks up the donut and gives it a good assessment, smirking in amusement at the silly food.

Meanwhile you wait a moment, thinking about it (About how unexpectedly good this morning has been with him so far. How warm you feel inside spending it with him. You really never expected it to be good like this, you expected him to ignore the holiday, but he did all this for you... ), before leaning over and gifting him a sweet kiss on the cheek. You couldn't help it. "Thank you, Cal, Merry Christmas."

"As much as I like my gift Y/N, you can pay me back in bed later." He tells you offhandedly, not even looking up from his curious silly breakfast. You almost laugh.

"Of course." You grin instead, shaking your head.

Otis B Driftwood x reader:

After the kiss under the mistletoe that leaves your lips bruised, your mouth tasting of all the shit that Otis puts in his (An amalgamation of bad alcohol, smokes, some cum, some blood, and bad - sometimes off, - food tasting something like rot and battery acid), and your ass in need of an ice pack from the way he squeezed it, he tries to just give you a dirty filthy smirk and leave you there- but you dig your fingers into the front of his tight shiur before he can and draw him back to you. "Not so fast."

"Wh- "

"Hold on." Giving him a mischievous look, you reach with one hand into your deep coat pockets (Your other hand still holding him there) and pull out something red and white, and fluffy. Immediately a groan rolls out of your feral boyfriend, his head actually falling back a moment. Your eyes widen at him with that cheeky smile, and you nod. "Uhuh, yes."

"Fuck. no."

"Fuck yes." You don't wait for him to agree, you know he never will; you just reach up onto your tip toes against him and pull the santa hat on over his hair. When you settle back down onto the heels of your feet and take in the full picture, his cranky unamused, bearded frown and stormy blue eyes and that innocent-looking santas hat on his head!!, you cant help but laugh. "You look so good!!"

"Aghh,"

"Really!" You laugh, covering your mouth. "I think I'm hot."

"Right." He rolls his eyes, setting his strong scarred hands on his hips- but not taking it off. That really just shows how good a mood he's in; allowing you your little joke. There's even a ghost of a smirk on his mouth. "Sure. I believe that crap."

Spurred on by his almost pleasant demeanour, you give him mommy finger and add; "You gotta keep it on the rest of the night.", a teasing grin on your lips to match his.

Giving a sigh and a shake of his head, Otis just shrugs at you, like- fucking fine! whatever~, walking off towards the drinks table. You watch him go, tucking your thumbs into your back pockets, the softest look on your face. If he was always like this... well, its not a thought even worth thinking about. But- its nice, when he is.

#thank youuuuu! again! #this brings me so so much joy!!

[jaytmann2]

Alex.

I was 15yo. It was two weeks before Christmas and Brad and I were flying down to staying with all the family at Aunty Julie's, I was looked forward to seeing Mum again. I missed her.

One of Brad's workmates needed help to fix his car so Brad suggested he come to our place to do it. Mark came over a short while later with his son Alex. We were all introduced and Brad asked me if I'd be ok with keeping Alex entertained while he and Mark get started on fixing Mark's Ute. I happily agreed and asked Alex what he'd like to do? Alex asked if I had any video games, i said I had a Nintendo system which Alex was excited so we headed into the house. I put the Nintendo on, made some food and drinks etc and played games with Alex.

Alex was 12yo almost 13yo, a little shorter then me, dark brown shaggy hair, a fit toned little body from playing NRL since he was 6yo, very cute young guy, VERY cute. But he was young so I didn't plat too much attention to him other then getting to know him and playing video games.

Gemma came over for a few minutes before she had to go to some family function. Gemma was wearing a cute long yellow flowery summer dress and hugged her figure and showed off her gorgeous tits and arse. Gemma looked so sexy. I introduced Gemma to Alex, he couldn't stop staring and honestly I couldn't blame him. Gemma had to do so I gave her a long kiss goodbye and went back to the game with Alex.

Not long after Gemma left, Alex asked "so she is your girlfriend?" I said "Yeah she sure is" Alex said "wow, you're lucky" I said thanks as we played. A few moments later Alex asks "Have you seen her naked?" I said "Yeah, lots of times" poor kid was obviously jealous. He asked me to describe her boobs, butt, pussy" so I did my best. I must have described her well because I saw a tent in his shorts.

Alex was wearing some red gym shorts, a yellow tank top and a pair of runners. His little red shorts were now tenting pretty well. I was just wearing a Black Addidas t-shirt and my favourite old grey gym shorts and I was commando under them.

Alex asked if I'd touched Gemma's boobs and I told him I'd done more then that! He asked "like what?" I told him the Gemma and I have had sex! He called me a liar and I said " go ask my dad, he has caught us doing it" I laughed but Alex was now fully invested. He asked a heap of questions and next thing he reaches and grabs his cock thru his shorts. I wasn't expecting it as he shook his cock, he was obviously very horny.

I jokingly said "Looks like you got a problem there mate" he said "Yeah I wish I could do something to make it go away" we laughed and then he said "Looks like you got a problem too" as he looked down at my crotch. I was about half hard, I didn't even realise I was but there it was and my shorts did nothing to hide it. I said "nah it's only about half hard so I'm ok if it goes down" Alex said "really? Is it big huh?" I said "well it's not that small" Alex said "can I see it?" I said it's not really appropriate! I was thinking there's no way I can do this, he is only 12yo. No way, I can't, I won't etc, etc, etc.

Next thing I see is Alex pull out his cock!!!!! This kid was a little freak! His cock look 4.5inchs long, not too thick, uncut and just a few short pubes. It stood up straight and proud. Part of me wanted to touch it but I said "you should probably put that little monster away huh" he smartly came back and said " why haven't you seen a guys dick before?" Without even thinking I said "I've fucked guys so yeah I have" Alex says "well so have I" i wasn't sure if I believed him so I let it slide.

Alex still had his cock out and he said " well show me yours!" I thought why not. So I pulled my shorts down a bit and fished my almost hard cock out of my shorts and showed Alex.

He commented on my size before he started jerking off. I started jerking off too. Next thing I knew Alex reached out and touched my cock. I must admit I liked it. My brain started working again and I said we better stop so I put my cock away and made him do the same. We played video games and a couple of hours later, Brad and I drove Mark and Alex home.

[rubbarband]

Harmony worked hard on it. She wanted Demond's present to be very special and it led her to spend many nights working hard on her project. It was not exactly easy when he wasn't out or she had work. But thankfully, she finished it in time for the holidays!

Harmony smiles from ear to ear when she approaches Desmond with her present which is large and it is wrapped in purple wrapping paper. "Happy holidays, dear! I have something for you. I hope you like it."

What Desmond will find is a jacket that looks similar to a varsity jacket. The jacket's body is black with purple sleeves ending with black cuffs. The front of the jacket right over where the heart is what looks like a patch, but it is beadwork stitched on the jacket. The beadwork is an icon with the letter "R" for Rubbarband in purple beads lined with silver beads on a black background with a purple ring around the edge. It is a jacket that will work well with his outfit but would help Desmond stay warm in the winter.

However, that is not the only surprise. Inside the jacket is a soft patch stitched over where his heart would be. It's a patch with a simple message.

"I love you to the moon and back!"

Christmas ask || Accepting till [redacted times]

-

@chronicparagon

Des wasn't expecting her to go all out, she approached him with a huge present right after he surprised her with his own- he showed his appreciation with a smile- taking in it tail. "Thank you hon, happy holidays to you too!" Des placed a kiss on her forehead before sitting down with her to unwrap it. "So what's in it?" She couldn't tell him as he put his ear to the box.

Sharpening his claws he opened it with ease; retracting them so he didn't scrap himself or Harmony- and out he pulled was a jacket, a really nice one. "Ha no way! it's just like the one I got in U.A's football team and the track team too." Desmond wasted no time in putting it on him to see if it fit and how comfortable it was. "How does it look?" Desmond posed excitedly with his new jacket. "It even has the letters for my hero name on it too!" Desmond loved it, clear as day.

He stared with a smile warm at the message. 'Love you to the moon and back.' Desmond wrapped his tail around her and pulled her in for the tightest hug, but making sure she was comfortable. "I love you so much honey, thank you. It's perfect!" with such a tender moment Desmond realized something.

"You know now that you have that moped and I have this jacket we need matching couple jackets! We can take pictures my mom wanted more of us for around the house! I'll make your jacket...with professional help of course."

This was one of the best christmas's ever, cause she was here.

#chronicparagon #jan ask 024 #thanks for the ask! #[what the des doing?] ic; #christmas ask #harmond [ Des x Harmony ]

[golbrocklovely]

today was the most unluckiest day of my life. good god above lol

let me list all the shit that happened bc it was really that crazy

didn't get much sleep so i woke up really tired

got bit by mosquitos while taking the dogs out (but that's what usually happened regardless)

had to go thru a hundred outfit changes bc i couldn't figure out what i wanted to wear bc it's so hot outside and also my store doesn't run the ac high :))

was extra late to work / traffic was hella annoying

passed by train station in my town, someone was dropping off someone. they stopped and immediately let the person out, causing the person behind us to run into us. it was extremely minor and only a scratch on my mom's plastic bumper so nothing major but like…. fucking REALLY?? and they drove off !!! (not the person that hit us, the person that caused the accident)

got to work, pulled out my uboat full of boxes i didn't stack myself. my one manager stacks the uboats and they are always too tall for my liking. i pull a box from the top, a smaller box was on top of it and i didn't know. it comes down and hits me directly in the eye. highkey have a feeling i'm gonna have a black eye tomorrow. and if i do… i'm suing :)

there was only three of us in the store and a man from loss prevention decided to come in. he couldn't have picked a worse day to come in. the person at the front is new and doesn't know everything so she was ringing the bell for someone and i was that someone that would have to go help out (when usually i never do that bc there's enough ppl that are in the store to help).

i'm telling you… every customer that came into this god forsaken store talked to me. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. these are not the only ones that talked to me, just the highlights lol

first customer: older lady looking for size five sandal. tell her we don't sell five, the smallest we sell being six. she tells me the sandals she was currently wearing were from here. don't have the heart to tell her that i've worked here for four years, we haven't sold that type of sandals in literally, at the bare minimum, two years. she asks if we have kids shoes, the only ones we have are watershoes. not what she wants. i was putting shoes out at the time, she starts GOING THRU my boxes trying to see what shoes i got……… ma'am, do you wanna clock in too?

i show her that all we have is a six, that doesn't fit her. she's looking at the other sandals we have out right next to me, they are also in a six. we got black and white. she tells me she likes the white but they get too dirty too fast. i agree. i say we have the black, she shakes her head and says "girl colors are nicer"………….. ma'am, colors don't have genders. THEY ARE JUST SPECTRUMS OF LIGHT OR IN THIS CASE PIGMENTS. she also tells me why she needs the sandals, i don't need to know this info.

next customer: lady comes up to me asks me if i can tell her what the amount on her gift card is. i tell her the person at the front can do that, she says the person at the front told her to find someone else….. i go find my manager and ask her to do it. reminder to all of you, while i did used to work at the registers, i haven't done so since 2020. so i remember nothing. i literally don't have numbers that work at the register either.

next customer: older man, very nice. asks where the apple watch bands are. i say i think we have them over here. he tells me the website says we have them… sir, that site means nothing to me. it also says we have christmas product when we don't. but at least this interaction was nice.

flash forward a bit. i had been in the back for a while. i sweated my ass off breaking down a couple boxes and separating some stuff. come out with a whole new uboat full of product from my section. this was the last hour of my shift, and all i wanted to do was this single aisle. that's it. and this is when all hell breaks loose for me. it's like there was beacon on me telling every customer where i was.

next customer: old man, not as nice. also was barely talking above a grumble for some reason. he needs a screen protector and a case for his iphone. i ask him what one he has, he has no clue. i'm able to find out it's an iphone 11. go over to our tech section, the only cases we have are all "girly" for the most part. there's also no screen protectors. i have to tell this man MULTIPLE TIMES the same information over and over again. i point him to the phones cases, telling him this is all we have for his phone. he looks at different ones and asks about them. tell him they wouldn't fit, it's only these ones. he asks about "plastic" for his phone (which i assumed was screen protector) told him we don't have any bc it would be with the phone cases. he asks about some other phone cases on the other side. AGAIN i tell him the only ones for his phone would be right here directly in front of us. he's upset that none of them are the type he wants. he points at a light blue/periwinkle one and says "would this be for men" or something like that. DEAR GOD I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS. i say it works bc it's a blue, which is truly all these ppl want to hear sometimes. i tell him this is all we have, and that he can always go down the street to best buy who would have a bigger selection. he says they're more expensive. idk what you want from me sir.

next customer: i'm trying to place boxes down in my aisle and this old lady walks up it while i'm doing so. mind you, this aisle is only small enough for one person to go down it. nothing really happened with her, it just annoyed me bc it always happens lol

the loss prevention guy comes over to me and tries to ask me about our policies that are all anagrammed and named bob and lisa and shit like that. i don't remember them bc i don't care. he tells me what they are and leaves me alone.

next customer: this one is a doozy. i think i was helping someone else out in the tech section, and this lady finds me and needs my help. she needs a magnet charger for her phone. but she wants the one that's multiple and has enough room to charge all of her shit. i point her to what we have. she's not looking for those, even tho it's a) the only one we have and b) the one that would work for her. she also doesn't like the color. when she realizes i was telling the truth, she's looking at them again and goes to pick one. mind you, they are all white. she looks at the one all the way at the bottom and says "this is a silver one, right?" sure ma'am. it's totally not the shadow being cascaded down onto it that makes it look darker. i then have to help her put all of her shit in the bag she's carrying that she's buying from us (not a huge deal). mind you, the whole time, she's talking to me. and every time i start to walk away she goes "oh yeah i need this thing" i'm pointing her in like six different directions bc i will not walk someone physically over to a section that has a neon sign above it. sorry. i won't do it lol (unless they ask me to or are older)

she's point out all of this random shit in our tech section and saying "aw isn't this cute" and i'm just like… i work here. it lost it's cuteness a long time ago. she needs a phone case, we only have two obnoxious ones for her phone. she says "are you serious" but not in a funny way, like she thinks i'm lying to her. do you really think i'm fucking with you, lady? i just tell her that our tech section hasn't been getting that much product in. again i try to leave she asks me for something else. her mom now comes over and needs help getting something too. i get on a ladder to help her get a dress on the wall (bc the tech section and my section are right next to each other), she tells me she could have done that…… literally no you cannot. why do customers think they're allowed on the ladders, i will never understand.

the girl then asks me for an eyelash curler, but she calls it something weird so i have no idea what she's asking for. once i know, i tell her it would be on the wall with the other make up. i show her a different option first, she doesn't want that one. she wants the multi colored ones we sell. we haven't gotten those in in months. i go over and look at the wall, we don't have any. i tell her this, she asks if i'm joking. she tells me they are usually over here, and i tell her "yeah they usually are. but we're out." she says "you guys have them over here, right?" i tell her again they would be, but we don't have them in. she says she'll look over here and if not over in this other section. and i say "yeah IF WE HAVE THEM they would be here" and i just leave after that and pray she doesn't need me for anything else.

last customer: comes over to me, says good morning. sir, it's almost one o'clock, but okay. asks if we sell padlocks, didn't understand what he said i ask him again, he YELLS padlocks at me. i then YELL back no we don't have them.

i finish up finally in this fucking isle, get all of my trash and cardboard together, go put it away, as i'm about to leave i look at the schedule for next week………. i only work one day. i was supposed to only work on day this week as well, but i informed my manager that i have insurance with the company and if i go below 17 hours in a two week period, i lose the insurance. so at the BARE MINIMUM i have to work at least two days each week, bc they only allow us to work for five hours at a time. of course, all of the managers get to have full hours, and we apparently have enough to hire new ppl, but not enough to give ME hours. and they complain that the reason we don't have hours is bc we're not making sales. you know who helps out with sales? THE MERCH TEAM, WHICH IS ME!

i get out of work, tell my mom all of this, we go to wawa. as some of you know, i had to get a new debt card. i activated it, but i do not remember the pin whatsoever. and it's a tap card so i don't technically need to know it but yes i do. and of course i trashed the paper that said what it was on it. so i go in and guess what i think it is. it's not that. so i now have to call my bank bc i have no idea what it could be and all i can do is pray that they don't say "oh well we have to send you a new card then" (and you might think that would be weird of them to do bc your bank doesn't do that, but the bank i'm with is old as shit, not a major one, and literally the time i brought in a hundred dollars in quarters someone had to PHYSICALLY COUNT THEM ALL OUT instead of having a machine to do it).

i go to buy a slurpee bc i haven't had one in so long... it tastes like cleaning solution so i dump it.

i finally come home…. our ac is broken. it's actually been like this for a while, but today bc it's so fucking hot, i'm cooking inside my room, beef jerky style. thank christ above the one good thing that happened today is that someone is coming out tomorrow to fix it.

i get upstairs, get butt ass naked, about to lay down…. and then i see that the lemon juice container i brought up earlier when i had my dogs out and got bit by mosquitos (bc i found out a long time ago that lemon juice can help with the itchiness of mosquito bites so i use it occasionally) leaked all over my bed while i was at work :))))))))))

i'm telling you, it feels like someone placed a curse on me or something lol like what THE ACTUAL FUCK

#personal #text #seriously what was today

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Eggplant Emoji (Fic Part 181. Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places. Please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @tantamount-treason @piratewithvigor @thedollmaker16

Reference Posts: ‘Giantess’/‘Blacklight Bandit’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ’Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

"That sounds very nice."

"What's it called… Dee told me this a couple years back… cockwarming?"

"Exactly."

"You want me to wear a skirt with no panties underneath, easy access for you?"

"Mm, yes please."

Kirby smirks, pulling on a long skirt with a slit up the side and taking off her panties, aiming for the wash basket but almost hitting Helms in the process as she chucks them in the wash.

"God, you look perfect."

Kirby pulls on a black sweater with a Grinch print and smiles at Helms, "do I look cute, Shane?"

"Absolutely adorable."

"I am back to being your adorable goth princess bride, mon mari, and I couldn't be happier."

"Neither could I. You're the greatest Christmas gift."

"You really think so?" Kirby asks gently, pulling Helms into a tight hug.

"I know so."

"Me, you, and Lilith, our perfect little family… little for now, at least."

"Little for the time being."

"I have no doubts that you will make sure it's not little for long." Kirby chuckles softly.

"I'll be working to make it grow as often as you let me."

"I love you, mon ange, but we must wait until Lilith is born before we make any changes to our plans for our family."

"I know, I know."

"And we don't live in a world where pregnancy is quick or painless, or without sickness at times, so… day by day."

"Day by day, my love."

Kirby pulls Helms into a gentle kiss before pulling away and leading Helms back to the tv room and settling down next to him on the couch.

"Let's get you set up before Shannon's done freshening up."

"Do you want me to face you, or maybe we should snuggle up with you behind me, that way you can keep me under your control easier."

"I say your back to me."

Kirby shifts her skirt to let him slide in from behind, moaning softly as she settles onto his lap, "oh mon ange."

"Mmm, that feels so good."

"You feel so… filling, my love."

"It's cause you're so tight."

"Don't go trying to make both your dick and Shannon's fit in the same hole." Kirby murmurs.

"We can try that."

"Two dicks in the same hole, are you mad or just horny?"

"It's not that bad," He shrugs, "and you've got a hole made to stretch. I don't."

"Shannon, Shane's got a dumb but sexy idea." Kirby calls, hearing the sounds of Shannon coming running through the house.

"Dumb and sexy are my middle names." Shannon grins.

"Shane wants to stretch me out, as in, put both your dicks in my pussy, and before you ask, he is already inside me from behind." Kirby explains.

"He's inside you right now?"

"Yep, his dick is in my pussy, and according to Shane, I'm a tight fit."

"It's true," Helms nods, "So you in?"

"Damn right I'm in." Shannon grins.

"Go easy on me, Moore, I'm pregnant and don't exactly want something other than the baby tearing my pussy."

"Maybe I'll slip in first, and then Shane joins me, Cause I'm bigger around." He suggests.

"Good idea," She nods, getting up and off of Helms, "which position will make this easier?"

"Boys sit on each other's laps, then we take you from the back?"

"Shannon, you're the shortest, if you sit on Shane's lap, we may just be able to pull this off."

"Let's do it."

Shannon sits on Helms' lap, making sure both men line up with Kirby's pussy before slowly and carefully sliding into her from behind, making her moan loudly.

"How's that feel, hon?" Helms asks softly.

"Well, it's a tight squeeze, but fuck it feels good."

"Feels the same way here."

"You both feel so good, boys, so fucking good." She murmurs through moans of pleasure.

"Wanna try riding?"

"Not really, don't want to risk anything."

"Then I guess we can just chill here."

"Shannon, how does it feel being literally between me and Shane?" Kirby jokingly teases.

"Can feel every inch of both of you…" he murmurs.

"You wanna be handsy, mon petit jouet, squeeze my tits, perhaps?"

"Can I?"

"Sure, touch me, squeeze me, make yourself at home, mon petit jouet."

"As long as you're sure…" he murmurs, reaching up her shirt to fondle her chest.

Kirby moans in delight, shifting her weight to allow him better access to her chest. He pauses a little when he starts feeling her milk drip over his fingers.

"Oh fuck, sorry Shannon, guess I'm getting to the point where I've got to deal with lactation… I do apologise, mon petit jouet."

"It's okay… just never felt anything like it."

"Well, humans are kinda like cows, tits are our udders, have you ever been around cows?"

"I get it, Kirby," he chuckles, "just never been a motherfucker before."

"An Enculé Monsieur, or motherfucker sir, like Shane?" Kirby chuckles.

"Exactly."

"Well, just don't get addicted to milking me, cause that's Lilith's job when she's born."

"Think it might be too late to avoid addiction."

Kirby shakes her head, chuckling softly.

"They're just so soft and warm…"

"I'm thinking this is gonna slowly become you squeezing my tits a lot."

"Quite possibly."

"Squeezy squeezy, Shannon, is that what you're thinking?"

"You think I'm even able to think of words right now? That's high praise."

"Shane, you alright, mon mari?"

"Perfectly fine, my love." He grins.

"I love you, mon ange."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"Sexy husband."

"Sexier wife."

"Vampire king."

"And my beautiful gothic princess."

"Sexy little plaything, Shannon."

Shannon's cheeks grow bright pink, "you really think I'm that sexy?"

"Shane likes blondes, I like short guys, I also have daddy issues relating to my biological father." Kirby murmurs.

"I ain't that short."

"You're a similar height to my biological dad, he was five-foot-nine."

"Okay, maybe I am short."

"My father looked like a mix of Shane, X-Pac, André and every other wrestler with dark hair and intriguing eyes. Honestly he looked like a non giant version of André."

"Your mom must've been the blonde one then?"

"Nope, she was ginger."

"That's interesting."

"Yeah, I don't know why my hair is blonde, but I know that they're my biological parents." Kirby shrugs.

"I'm the same way. My dad's got dark hair. Only problem is my mom does too and she had a personal trainer who was blonde who she stopped going to about nine months before I was born, so…"

"Oh so you're a forbidden baby?"

"My dad's really nice about it and pretends I'm not blonde. Him and mom have stayed together for forty years." He shrugs.

"That explains the streaks in your hair, trying to make dad happy, were you, or was it a style choice?"

"More trying to make him happy. He's a decent guy, but when my siblings all have dark hair and I don't, the favouritism comes out."

"I never got that, I don't have any siblings, and I don't know a lot about my biological family outside of the things I learn when someone dies, like when that letter came announcing my maternal grandfather had died."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"So far I have learned that I have enough cousins to fill a small village and that scares me slightly, because if I ever meet them all at once I know it will be too many people for me to deal with."

"No one can organize more than ten people and keep them organized. It's practically a law of families."

"I can barely deal with being around more than five in close quarters to each other."

"So we'll try to avoid family reunions."

"I would quite like to meet some of my family, not all at once, but like, piece by piece almost."

"One member at a time."

"Yeah, or like, one uncle or aunt at a time and then my array of cousins."

"I'm sure they'll love you when you meet them."

"They might be a bit surprised by my height… and the baby and my husband being a superhero… but they are my family."

"Honey, you're a celebrity. I think they know who you are."

"They might not watch wrestling." Kirby shrugs.

"If there's even one ten-year-old boy in the family, they know who you are."

"You do realise that if there's even one kid in my family, they probably spend all day doing chores for a farm or church, I come from a humble background, ya gotta work for what you want in Wales and Scotland, especially on the Isle of Skye."

"And it isn't the Fifties anymore. I can't imagine they don't own a tv."

"There is no point arguing with you." Kirby sighs.

"Probably not," Helms chuckles, "he said it himself, he's sexy and dumb."

"Have you ever read a really good book, or not stared at the tv for an hour?"

"Who's got the time? My hobbies are drinking and wrestling, which go together about as well as you'd think."

"Wow, so you have never read the works of Shakespeare of Lovecraft? Never delved into how Sherlock Holmes made real world policing advance? Never drawn a portrait of your beloved while he wasn't home and got off to thoughts of him while in the shower and god, how sexy he is…" Kirby whispers, her mind drifting to thoughts of Helms naked and wet.

"Well… no one ever said anything about drawing…" he murmurs.

"Sorry, I distracted myself."

"I just mean I dabble in drawing too…"

"Oh, can we see some of your work?"

"I've got some in my bag upstairs."

"I suppose we should finish up with stretching me out before we have a look."

"Definitely. Might be hard getting upstairs like this."

Kirby chuckles softly, guiding one of Helms' hands to her clit and moaning loudly.

"Cum all over us, Kirby."

She moans as she cums, breathing heavily and almost passing out when both men cum inside her.

"You're gonna have to pull off. I'm pinned." Shannon chuckles, breathlessly.

Kirby pulls off, sitting beside the boys, "would you like me to lick you clean?"

"Hey, I'll never turn that down."

Kirby smirks, taking her time to get on her knees in front of the two men and making sure Shannon stays on Helms' lap as she takes both dicks in her mouth and works herself up to taking them in all the way.

"Jesus, how is she doing this?" Shannon whispers.

Kirby moans as she pulls away, getting her breath back before giving Shannon more attention to get Shane to be more in control.

"Trying to make me jealous, babygirl?" Helms chuckles.

"I like you taking control, my love." Kirby whispers before taking Shannon all the way into her mouth in one go.

"Mm, taking control like this?" He smirks, pulling her off of Shannon and slipping his own cock past her lips.

Kirby moans in ecstasy, her eyes crossing for a moment as she takes him into her throat before pulling away slightly and starting to suck Helms off.

"That's my good girl."

Shannon huffs, moving off of Shane to play with Kirby's tits and clit from behind, teasing her entrance with the tip of his dick.

"Think we could spitroast you?" Helms murmurs.

Kirby pulls away, nodding before going back to sucking him off, moaning against his dick when Shannon slides in from behind and starts pumping into her.

"Nice and easy." Helms murmurs.

"God, I wanna just plug you up, just fuck you until we both cum and make sure it doesn't come out of your tight little pussy for a while after, not until Shane wants to fuck you." Shannon murmurs, pumping into Kirby and looking at Helms for approval.

"That'd be incredible."

"I'm gonna go get a plug, then I'll be back." Shannon murmurs, teasing Kirby as he slides out before going to their bedroom and getting some of their toys and then returning, showing Helms which toys he retrieved.

"Oh this is perfect." He grins.

#superheroes with secrets #shane hurricane helms #kirby roussimoff #blacklight bandit #orange and green - the perfect team #shannon brian moore #sws #kirby andrea roussimoff #delilah keshet rosenbaum #gregory shane helms #jeffrey nero hardy #matthew moore hardy #lita hardy

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

It's Been a While

Pairing - Diluc x Fem!Reader

Warnings - NSFW UNDER THE CUT MINORS FUCK OFF +18 ONLY This is pretty soft sex tbh, as much as I would love to write the most heinous shit with Diluc I don’t really think it would go with everything.

Word Count - 1.5k

Other Comments - This is my absolute favorite time of year, and I really wanted to divulge myself in this wondrous fic. I couldn't stop thinking about sad lonely Diluc finally having someone else to celebrate Christmas with, and thus having a reason to decorate his home with stuff bro everything about this just made me feel soft :( I know Christmas really wouldn't be a thing in Teyvat, so I'm more so using Christmas just for the decorations and gift giving and not about the actual religious meaning sorry lol.

Being an isolated man was easy. Diluc didn’t have to put much effort into relationships which gave him one less thing to be stressed about. This meant that there were drawbacks as well, which would become glaringly apparent around the holidays. Everyone was so focused on being with the ones they loved that everything became lonelier around this time of year. Even Kaeya had found his place for celebration with the Knights; who of course tried to include him at first, but after so many unanswered invitations they stopped offering. The decorations and lively streets used to be his favorite thing when he was a child, but now he had quite a dislike for them.

But when you crossed his path, went through thick and thin so you could stay with him, it was like a bright streak of lightning set fire to his existence, bringing in warm orange and yellow light, replacing the suffocating inky black abyss that was his life. He finally found himself appreciating the bright streets of Mondstadt, the excited shouts or boisterous laughter resonating in the free city. You two had planned to decorate his home this evening- “The whole nine yards” as you had put it. He could see your excitement for the activity and quickly gave in to your begging one evening.

Now Diluc sat anxiously at the Tavern awaiting your arrival so you both could walk back to his home, looking for a fitting tree in the process to put up in his living room. The familiar bell on the Tavern door rang out loudly in the closed establishment, before being cut off but a loud giggle. You approached Diluc, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso.

“You ready D? Archons I’m so excited this is going to be so fun.” Diluc couldn’t help the small smile that broke through his usually stoic gaze. What could he say, he was not immune to your infectious mood.

“Of course, but I will admit I haven’t done this in a while.” He spoke as you both walked into the cold air locking up the Tavern right behind you. You hummed in response, quickly linking your arm with his walking slowly through the warm red green and gold lit streets.

You both made quick work of scavenging for the perfect tree, making it to Diluc’s home before too long. You had brought along a couple bags that contained decorations, and Diluc had gone out a couple days prior with you to get some other things so that everything would be what you imagined. It took you and Diluc about two and a half hours to get the house well decorated, snowflakes and lights delicately placed around the living room. The last thing left to do was place the star at the top of the tree. With Diluc being as tall as he was, all he needed to do was lift you up so you could set it on the top. You carefully set the star up before tapping his shoulder to let you down. As he lowered you, your faces were inches apart where he took the moment to lightly press his lips to yours.

It didn’t take long for you to mirror his actions, your arms linking around his neck as you leaned into him. When you both finally pulled away, he grabbed your hand leading you to his bedroom. You had done this many times with Diluc, but your heart never failed to start fluttering as you approached the bedroom door. He gently pushed you onto the bed, boxing you in with his strong arms. This time when he dipped down for a kiss, it was more intense, more heated, more passionate. One of his hands cupped the side of your face, as your arms once again snaked around his neck. There was a softness to all of Diluc’s actions that flustered you.

You both finally pulled away, lips red and puffy. Diluc’s hands wandered up and down your body, before sliding off your shirt and bra. Your hands made quick work of Diluc’s shirt as well, both of your clothes discarded somewhere on the floor. Diluc’s mouth was on your neck and chest once you were exposed, leaving bruises and bite marks in his wake. Your body felt like it was vibrating with anticipation. Your shaky hands rose up to press against his chest lightly.

“D… please… It’s becoming too much. I really want you.” Your face and body was flushed, as a quiet chuckle rumbled low in Diluc’s chest.

“You’ve always been so impatient, baby.” You bit your lip as you looked away embarrassed, causing Diluc to laugh once again. His hands made their way down to your pants, effortlessly unbuttoning them and pulling them off you. He let you unbuckle his pants, before having to pull away to fully slip them off. While he was doing this, you took this chance to crawl back further on the bed. Soon enough though, Diluc was back on top of you, lips attached to yours once again. His dick strained hard against you, occasionally feeling it twitch and pulse in desperation. Diluc was exceptionally skilled about ignoring his dick, but you could tell tonight was not going to be one of those nights. You both wanted each other, and you wanted each other bad.

“You ready baby?” Diluc’s eyes met yours, as you nodded.

“I want you to say it baby, let me hear you ask for me. Let me hear you want me.” You blushed hard as Diluc’s request, but you knew you weren’t going to get anything unless you complied.

"Yes D. I really want you please. I want you to fuck me baby.” You let your hands card through his long crimson hair that fell over his shoulders. A smile graced his beautiful face, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Of course my dear, your wish is my command.” Diluc punctuated his sentence with a smooth thrust of his hips, pushing his dick deep into you. You could feel yourself stretch open, making space for his large cock. You moaned out long, arching your back and pressing your chest to his.

“I know baby, I know. It feels so good doesn’t it.” He took the words directly out of your mouth, leaving you to only nod in response as you let out another stretched moan. You nails pressed crescent moons into his back. Warmth bloomed deep in your chest, spreading throughout your body like fire as Diluc set a steady rhythm.

“You feel so good baby, you always take my breath away. Everything about you is perfect. You make me the happiest man in the world.” Diluc’s deep voice whispered low in your ear, before he buried his face into your neck. The once silent room was filled with the sounds of both your moans mixing with the sound of skin hitting skin. At this moment it sounded like the most beautiful symphony.

“I love you baby, nothing in this world will stop me from loving you. Let me show you how much you mean to me.” You were taken aback by how soft and vocal Diluc was being tonight, and you couldn’t tell what was aching more, your heart or your pussy. One of Diluc’s hands had trailed down to your core, his fingers making circles around your clit. You moaned out loud, squirming around as everything got more and more intense.

Everything was beginning to get overwhelming, and you could tell Diluc was getting close as well but the way his grunts were getting louder and louder, and his dick was beginning to twitch quite a bit. You cunt fluttered and tightened as you got close.

“I love you too D, cum with me.. Ah fuck.. Please.” Diluc groaned at your words, thrusts becoming faster and harder. After a couple more rough thrusts both of you messily tumbled over the edge, moans being muffled by a sloppy kiss. Diluc let you two ride out your orgasms before pulling out, smirking at the way you whimpered and twitched as his dick slid against your sensitive walls. Diluc fell next to you and pulled you close to his chest.

“Thank you baby.” You looked up at Diluc, your brows pointed upwards in confusion. Diluc took in your expression and continued. “Thank you for everything you give me. You’ve changed my sight. Everything is brighter now, not as bleak and monotonous. You’ve shown me that I deserve to appreciate this holiday just like everyone else. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather celebrate with.”

You had no words to respond with, you were shocked to hear this come out of Diluc’s mouth. He always had his own way of showing appreciation for you rather than talking, but hearing him say everything he felt about you made tears swell in your eyes. You quickly blinked them away before they had the chance to fall, and connected your lips to his. You stay there for a few moments, lips pressed softly against each other before pulling away and looking him in the eye.

“You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that D. I love you.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin imagine #genshin impact imagine #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #diluc #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #diluc smut #diluc imagine #diluc x reader

[endlich-allein]

Interview with Till about his life: he fought with his father, killed his beloved dog, swam on a wild river and worked on suffering. How Till Lindemann's mind works

"I will finish you off" and why you fought for the German army.

Werner Lindemann wanders around the room, interrupting the silence with strange questions, writing something down. His motive is to get to know his son and make him a friend. But it's complicated. Generational conflict.

"My island of tranquility is shaken every day. The day before yesterday, a guy pulled on my socks because his were torn. Yesterday he didn't put out a single lamp in the house. Now, with voluptuous delight, he spits cherry pits into the cat's fur. Is this grown boy really an adult?"

The apprenticeship in Rostock, where you have to do window production after graduation, is the limit of boredom. Till Lindemann moved to his father in the countryside so that he could forget about the hustle and bustle of the city and not fall under the article for anti-social attitudes. He thought of a new life, in which there was no pointless work, and arranged an attic in his father's house.

In the mornings over coffee, he scolded life that everything went according to schedule. And listened very loudly to music - electronics and metal. My father didn't understand and grumbled: “I matured late. Naturally, I wanted to listen to the music I liked, but I could not get my hands on these records. For example, my father did not understand when I bought the Alice Cooper record for a month's salary.

Werner Lindemann was a children's writer who went through the war.

At the height of his career he disappeared for weeks on literary tours - his fame spread to teachers and librarians across the country. His father pecked at Lindemann for refusing to work and promised to turn him in:

"My willful child. What doesn't fit his standards is rejected as nonsense or crap." So he took a job as a carpenter, where he made shovel cuttings and cart wheels. The head foreman constantly drank vodka during the day, didn't want to be annoyed with questions and addressed the long-haired Lindemann with the nickname: "Mozart!" This suited him.

Werner Lindemann talked about war, hard existence and limitations. For example, about a grenade splinter that remained in his body. Lindemann did not believe in all these stories - but categorically did not accept service, war and murder:

“After that I objected: “I would hide, I would not go to war. Why did you even let yourself be dragged into this? You could have hidden."

And he said: “It didn't work out. They searched for it and it took away."

Then I said: “I would rather go under arrest. Never in my life, I would go to the front line to shoot people. It's against my nature. It would be better if I went to jail."

Much of the time father and son were simply silent, even while watching television.

"He regularly made me feel guilty, to say the least, he placed himself on a pedestal towards me: I shouldn't complain. At your age, I ran barefoot through the stubble, and in my stomach - a potato in a uniform."

The only acceptance is Mike Oldfield's music: "One day my father came to grumble again. At that moment I was listening to Mike Oldfield, and he sat down and said: "That sounds interesting."

For me it was like a quantum leap: my father sits in my room, listens to my music and thinks it was good. Probably because of melancholy. He was sitting in a rocking chair that I made myself - at the time I was working as a carpenter on a farm. I, too, always sat in an armchair, immersed myself in music and smoked hand-rolled cigarettes."

The conflict was intensified by a fight. Lindemann bought a Trabant car, installed speakers in it and tested the sound - loud as usual. “Then my father came and I had to turn off this fucking music. It was kind of loud for him. He was then fiddling around his cases of flowers, and then suddenly the situation escalated. I think he slapped me while I was still in the car.

He leaned toward me and hit me with the back of his hand. I made some bullshit remarks like, "Leave me alone," something like that. That was a provocation to him, and he said: "If you do that again, I'll hit you for real." And I said, "Then you'll get it back. Because you're crazy. Don't you dare to hit me anymore."

And then he hit me with his palm again. He wasn't controlling himself.

He was exalting himself. Instantly he introduced himself as a boxer - he had boxed in the Hitler Youth - and I just... I thought I didn't hit him, I just pushed him away. And then he stood in front of me again, "Come on, I'll finish you, you haven't got a chance!" Somehow. After that, he went up to the attic and threw all my stuff out the window.

It happened over the weekend, my sister was there, a lot of screaming, serious drama. Then I packed my things, put them in the car, went to a friend's house and never went into his house again. At first I lived with this friend, and a week later I bought myself a house in the village."

His father's book is about his son, which the son will only open up after the death of the father.

Lindemann is a late child. He was born when his father was 36. The gap in their relationship was felt in everyday life and perception of the world. Werner Lindemann woke up early in the morning, worked with the circular saw under the windows and did not understand when his son slept until noon after a working week.

Lindemann's parents then lived separately, but kept in touch. Mom worked as a journalist and discussed her texts with his father. "She still lived in Rostock and always came to see him only on weekends. Mostly on Sundays she came back quite early, because she couldn't stand the stress of being with him, either."

In 1988, the book “Mike Oldfield im Schaukelstuhl Notizen eines Vaters" In this book, Lindemann Senior describes the relationship with his son (whom he calls Timm in the book), who settled with him at the age of 18. The book was written in the 80s and laid on the table until the German Democratic Republic and the Federal Republic of Germany were reunited.

Werner Lindemann wanted his son to take up writing too. But this only amused him, although as a child he wrote poetry. At the age of 13, little Till Lindemann and his father were returning home along the bumpy road to Mecklenburg. They talked about career self-determination:

"You should already have thoughts about what you want to become, boy." My answer: "I don't know yet, maybe a fisherman on the high seas."

But immediately, no matter what I said, objections arose: “But then you have to get a certificate of maturity. But then you will be away all the time. But then you won't be able to start a relationship."

There was always a “but”.

At some point it got on my nerves, as usual. And I said: "Worst case scenario, I'll just become a writer.

I still remember how alienated his face became. "And what do you think then, what do I do! It's a very hard job! In fact, it's not even a job, it's a passion. And it's a job that's supposed to be enjoyable."

I said, "I don't know anybody who works with pleasure."

"Yeah, that's the problem. You have to look for a job that gives you pleasure." Then I say again, "But some people never get to choose..." This gigantic discussion happened because I didn't take his profession seriously. At the same time, he was completely lost, funny!"

Lindemann thoughtfully read his father's book, in which he comprehends their relationship, after his death. Faked for hidden anger and indecision. For example, in a situation where their dog Kurt was bitten by a fox. The father was frightened because of rabies: “At the same time, we did not even know whether he was bitten by a fox or not. The father immediately called the huntsman. But I said: no one will enter this courtyard and shoot the dog. I'll do it myself if I really need it. At some point I really had to kill the dog."

Lindemann is not a monster. The animals he fiddled with are an important attribute of childhood. He had an aquarium and hamsters, brought mice and rats home, and was friends with dogs. “Like many children of new buildings, he felt the need for someone alive, in need of love,” said Werner Lindemann. Sometimes the appearance of an animal in the house was surprising:

“This guy will never say what he's up to. He appears on the doorstep at the same time as me. He gets out from his vehicle, throws his coat open and puts a young black shepherd in my hands. "Your Christmas present!"

Till's father is speechless. My son stands before me like the sun's little brother. Touchingly concerned, he directs me into the house, working out a plan for the animal husbandry, accommodation and diet of our new pet housemate.

With confusion, a question flies from my lips, "Wheredid you get the dog from?" "Timm" is gibbering, "Imagine, the mason in the barnyard wanted to hang him, simply wanted to strangle him with a rope, said he was a worthless eater..."

Werner Lindemann died of stomach cancer in 1993, when his son was 30. They didn't finally reconcile, but Till visited him in his last days and was there for him with his mother: "They couldn't be without each other, even though they lived apart. Unreal, but my mother never had another man afterwards. To this day she can't let go of him."

- Not going to the Olympics in Moscow and ending up in the German ghetto

Lindemann had the knowledge and the potential to be a swimmer. And a shyness that pounded harder three days before the competition than concerts in front of crowds of thousands. "I know how difficult it is to develop willpower and stamina and instill those attributes. In the GDR this was instilled in us by coaches and so-called functionaries."

Lindemann came to swimming at the age of eight and devoted his entire youth to the sport. He would get up for training at five in the morning and pass out in the evening. His grandmother watched him from the stands. At a competition in Leipzig she shouted at the coach, who told Lindemann off for a poor result. The grandmother took the coach by the ear and said: "How do you talk to my grandson?"

Sports tightened up his upbringing and developed self-discipline. “Drilling - probably the boy has already received this experience as a swimmer,” Lindemann's father wrote. - Once he had to take second place in a competition, but by no means first place. Of course, he got carried away, forgot about it, became the first, thanks to which he received a shouting for indiscipline. And whenever he lost in the future, his coach would torture him at practice for a long time and yelled at him: "Even if you win, you're not a winner yet!"

Lindemann swam the 1.5 km freestyle and could have gone to the 1980 Olympics in Moscow. Everything was ruined when he left the hotel without permission during a competition in Florence: "I didn't want to run, but just wanted to look at the city. Cars, bikes, girls. I was caught and kicked out of the team, but then I didn't give the required results either."

Lindemann competed at the European Junior Championships, but did not go any higher. After the story in Florence, his career in sport slipped away. Perhaps an abdominal injury influenced his departure. Lindemann is gone, but he doesn't yearn: "I was relatively young. There were no good [memories] left. I was glad it was over."

"The hardest part was getting back to normal. I fell into a real hole. My home was no longer a sports school, but a ghetto in Rostock. Now I stood out through drinking and fighting. I used to be surrounded only by beautiful ladies who were interested in swimming. Now I had fierce women standing in front of me asking, "How come you don't drink?" When I was shy about approaching a girl, it was interpreted as: "Are you gay?"

Lindemann now works with a coach and swims a few kilometers before his tours to get in shape: "When I exercise, I feel a certain lightness - not only physically, but also mentally. I just feel better. The main problem is staying in shape. That's where self-discipline comes into play. Teeth grinding is important."

- Three weeks in the wild and loneliness as a creative tool

Emotionally, concerts = sports:

"How do I go on tour? Hungry. And happy. It is good to compare concerts with sport. You don't want to do both at first. You don't want to go on stage. You don't want to go to the pool. You don't want to go to the boxing ring. It all happens with reluctance. It has to be accepted somehow, that's life: spring, summer, fall, winter.

When it's done, winter's gone, the blooming begins, greenery appears, it gets bright, and you start to get a taste for it. When it's over, you feel happy. Then the body produces a sea of chemistry, a lot of happiness hormones. I think the body rewards itself."

The stage, like sports, is an embarrassment, but a necessity. Lindemann wore dark glasses in order to collect fewer views from the audience. Therefore, a couple of steps before the water, he looked at the pool with a shiver. You need to cope with yourself in order to open up to new emotions.

Lindemann's gut requires solitude and moderate solitude. This is the point:

“Loneliness is always good for a creative push - you drink a glass of wine and you feel even shitier. Art is not complete without suffering; art exists to compensate for suffering."

With his friend Joey Kelly, Lindemann spent three weeks on the Yukon River. They paddled through the wilderness in a kayak for eight to 10 hours each and lived in a tent. Lindemann didn't take a tape recorder with him, so he transferred the lyrics wandering in his head on paper.

They were catching inspiration and atmosphere:

"There were times when we wouldn't say a word for hours, but then: look there, look there! It was breathtakingly beautiful. These relatively fast-changing panoramas and skies, layers of clouds, the colors.

Except for a few bears and wolves, it's hard to see anyone else out there, it's exhilarating. Along the way we saw two hunters setting traps. No one else.

I grew up in the countryside, and I have a very strong connection to nature. I love fishing, hunting. It's an archaic experience that I like to revisit over and over again. When I'm in the city for too long, I start to miss it."

To recreate situations in the Yukon, Lindemann and Kelly trained for nine months on the Rhine river in Germany because of its liveliness.

"We went down the Rhine to where the transport ships create huge bow waves. If we hadn't had a coach with us, we probably would have been sunk by the side wave impact already during our first attempt," Lindemann said.

Together with Kelly, he had four sessions with two coaches and swam from Cologne to Koblenz [more than 100 kilometers by car]. Lindemann trained separately each week on the lakes in Mecklenburg. It's both physically challenging and savage identical to being natural.

In 2015, Till started his solo project Lindemann. On the album Skills In Pills, the song Yukon was released, in which the lyrics appeared first, and then the music.

- "My lyrics come from pain rather than desire."

The country boy is big and not much of a talker. That's how the Rammstein members saw him at the start, when they were hanging out at home. "He looked cool, like a big peasant talking one sentence an hour," keyboard player Christian "Flake" Lorenz recalled. - He always had food and vodka. He'd just steal a couple of ducks somewhere and cook them on a tray. And then, frozen like in Sleeping Beauty, there were people lying in corners and on trunks in his house."

Lindemann loves and appreciates home gatherings. This came from my father, who always had guests. “In my opinion, this is the little bit that I inherited from him. Throwing parties and gathering people. Throwing parties and getting people together. He just enjoyed being a good host. The house was always full of guests from Leipzig, from Rostock, foreign guests, even from Kazakhstan.

It was always exciting for him. He stood at the stove, cooked, bought an abundance of wine, and there was always a fire in the garden. At some point he stopped drinking, then he left the party at 21:00 and the whole company continued to feast. And in the morning he got up at four, cleaned and tidied up."

Till Lindemann is about self-digging, overcoming and childish shyness, which is covered by a pumped-up figure of a swimmer. This is how Lindemann decrypts himself:

• “And I really am like a big child - ill-mannered, but harmless. People think that I am always strong, explosive. This is not true. I am sensitive and easily hurt, but in love I am romantic and passionate."

• “At the very beginning, you sit somewhere in a dark room, open a bottle of wine and figure out how to make the lyrics popular with the music. At first you only have a vague idea of ​​what it could be.

And when, three years after recording, mixing, and more mixing, developing the artwork, all this nonsense, then you stand on stage, and what you came up with then really works, when you manage to get 20 thousand people to raise their hands, then you experience incredible sensations."

• “Art is a kind of therapy.

When I feel that something is arising inside me, domineering and is most often dark, I need to give it a way out, otherwise it will simply crush me. So destruction and self-destruction are the two pillars on which my creativity is based.

But everyone chooses this for himself.

• “My lyrics arise from feelings and dreams, but still more from pain than by desire. I often have nightmares, and I wake up at night sweating, as I see terrible bloody scenes in my dreams. My lyrics are a kind of valve for the lava of feelings in my soul.

We are all struggling to hide behind good manners and outward decency, but in fact we are governed by instincts and feelings: hunger, thirst, horror, hatred, the desire for power and sex. Of course, there is also additional energy in us - this is love. Without it, all human feelings would fade away."

- "When you're constantly living someone else's life, it's very hard to get back into your own skin. I like that in principle, but sometimes you start to get confused - are you out of a role or not yet. You're already Till, or you're still a homicidal maniac."

- "I hate the noise. I hate the chatter. I expose myself to it, which is pure masochism. And then I have to protect myself from it. Noise makes you crazy. You die in it."

• “I think there is no God. And if he is and actually allows all the misfortunes on this earth, then he must punish me along with other sufferings. I will not pray to such a god."

This is how the members of Rammstein see Till - flexible and with a split personality:

Guitarist Paul Landers: "Till is so good that when you let him know that his lyrics should go in a different direction, the very next day he brings a new version of the song."

Guitarist Richard Kruspe: “He's a hell of an extreme man. He dives very deeply into situations where I cannot follow him. Everything he does is very extreme; I don't know anyone who does it. "

Drummer Christoph Schneider: "I would not want to be in Till's shoes: his soul is tormented by doubts and contradictions, he is equally a moralist and a monster."

June 1, 2021 - Translate by Lindemann Belgium

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