illadvisedselfships

[illadvisedselfships]

Am I the only girl who melts when he says “come here” like it’s so simple and innocent yet demanding and possessive omg💖

#🐊jim bickerman🐊 #🖕otis b driftwood🖕 #📕professor callahan📕

[illadvisedselfships]

Imagine pulling your f/o by their tie to kiss them. 

#yes yes yes <3

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imagine your F/O hugs you from behind and you feel their cock slowly grow hard through both of your clothes

do they back away, blushing profusely and apologizing? or do they hold you close and grind against you? do you get embarrassed? would you let them use you, or do you turn around and take control?

#UHMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm... #😏

[illadvisedselfships]

Cant blame you at all for a n y of these omg, I love your taste!! XD ^^ <3<3<3 Especially the 4 or 5 REnglund characters XDD

Thank you so much for the responce!! I cant wait for your big list post!! I'm so intrigued by this Bela Lugosi Dracula mini F/O XDD

Hey! ^^ I'm really curious who your F/O's are! I understand though if you're uncomfortable sharing ^^

oh jee :00 hi!! youre my first ask, thx so much!! welcome :00 i do have a post im working on once im brave enough to know who im comfy releasing like beta content and for when the post looks DECENT to BEHOLD upon thine eyes, but i can drop a few peeks for your ask 👀 then i could drop the whole list sometime for you guys to see everyone!!

most of them are spooky characters, so you might also catch on to some of the themes/genres/other stuff i like through them lolol. they come from my fixations ofc.

the Phantom of the Opera from the 2004 movie, he was my first officially recognized f/o. . he's been there for FOREVER. so he gets to be mentioned first ofc even tho he doesnt float around so often. id still be depressi without him. <3

you know the ultra old Dracula movie, with Bela Lugosi?? h i m b . <33 he came with a bonus like, mini f/o, youll see him when i get the big post since people are interested

I got like 4 or 5 robert englund characters lmao, most of them horror related. i cant help myself with robbie englund, forgive me 😔

i also have not one but TWO headless horsemen f/os :00

#(this is wicked1will0sprakles by the way 😅 )

[illadvisedselfships]

Me: *cant even kill a spider, cockroach or slug; has to take it outside and put it somewhere safe*

My F/O's:

#what happened here

[illadvisedselfships]

I have been wearing my bra straps a tad tighter my and shorts a tad shorter lately and frankly I find it really really unjust that my F/O's do not know that.

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Actually fuck, The Jockey might be all four of these guys meshed into one 😅 He's English like Cruella, he's opportunistic and creepy and lacking in most ethical loyalties like Jim, he's a teacher like Cal (well his alter ego is), and he's also unforgiveable and gross like Otis. Also very s m a r t which is also an Otis thing.

Hey guys do you know much I love The Jockey from my favourite books Dancing Jax?

Fuck these people, thats how much

#... so basically i made the jockey with my f/o's 😂 #makes sense-

[illadvisedselfships]

I bought... a lotta stuff, on Temu 😅 But hey, at least its not breaking the bank. Got some stickers a flour sifter, a pink flannel (of course. look, i know i have a problem), coat hangers, a cupcake tin in the shape of lil bears, pens, mushroom-shaped gems, etc.

Here's the real highlight, though: An A4 (a little bigger then that actually) canvas print of the Sheriff XD He's going right up there on the wall with Cruella and Otis XD

🖤❤💙🖤❤💙🖤 !! Look at him!! XD Course- I had to get Mac, Lightning and Mater, and Guido and Luigi too (they were a pack) but it was so worth it XD

#Sheriff (Cars) #Cars Sheriff #Sheriff Cars #🚓sheriff🚓 #its about time i got something to represent him!! #i have the doc hudson shrine already and it felt so bad having that but no sheriff ): #all good now XD

[illadvisedselfships]

Am I the only girl who melts when he says “come here” like it’s so simple and innocent yet demanding and possessive omg💖

#🖕otis b driftwood🖕 #📕professor callahan📕 #🐊jim bickerman🐊 #👠cruella de vil👠

[illadvisedselfships]

@marinerainbow I couldn't help it XD I had to write lil excerpts.

Cruella De Vil:

"Ah, Hannah darling. What are you doing? Getting ready for work? Oh no, no. Not today. I made some calls for you; you're not needed at that dreadful place today. You put that thing down and put on something proper. And don't dawdle, our reservations are in a half hour."

Sat on the end of my bed with my work shirt in my hand about to pull it on over my pink sleeveless (for later so I don't have to get changed before leaving work), I give a sigh and a wonky smile. I love that she wants to treat me today but I do need to go to work; as much as i might want to go wherever she wants me to. "Oh but they do need me, Cruella, I'm the only permanent one in the babies roo- wait you what??"

"I called them. Its all taken care of, now get up." Cruella waives at me in a impatient way, apparently disgusted with something. What on earth- "I'd like to get there before this dreadful country gets hot this morning and transfigures my car into a bloody oven." -Ah, yes, Australia does have that effect compared to beautiful, dreary old England. "Up, up!"

Without really thinking, just listening to the perpetually testy tone in her voice, I get up and reach for my light blue flannel; looking at her. "Uh, okay-- where are we going then??"

For a moment Cruella pauses, at the doorway to my bedroom, and sighs; looking calm for a few seconds. "... Its to your simple tastes, I promise." She doesn't say it like an insult- just like an observation. My tastes are simple, I just like a nice sandwich and hot chips, and fancy dining makes me uncomfortable. A little grin spreads across my face, growing bigger at her as the silly mushy warmth spreads out in my chest. She knows me!~ She rolls her eyes and waives at me again. "Now, get. up!! I wont ask you again."

"Okay okay," I get up, following her through my families little house and out to her car which is looking odd as hell on our simple suburban street. "-but what did you say to my bosses??- "

"Oh," She gives a scoff. "Don't worry about it!"

"Mhm... I am a little worried, though, so- "

Professor Callahan:

"Hannah, I expect to see you after class. I understand you've made plans today, it won't take too long. There are just a few things we need to discuss about your schedule. We need to make time for your tutoring, after all. I have a very important lesson planned for you, later."

After all the other students have left the room and the heavy historical Harvard door falls closed and clicks shut behind the last one, Cal slips an arm around my waist and draws me in against him behind the desk. A moment ago I was an attentive student waiting for a study plan, or tutoring information-- now I'm his sweetheart. It gives me a rush; a smile flickering across my face as I watch him look quickly over his schedule for a moment.

"Mhm... I have a little time."

"For what??" I have a little ideas for what, but I need to hear him confirm.

He flashes me one of those secretly dirty, sleazy, calculated old professor grins that release the butterflies in me. "Oh, I think you know. You're a smart girl- figure it out."

My grin grows slowly broader, a little dirty myself. "Oh?? And you can spare the time for that??"

His other hand lands on my waist, making us chest-to-chest now. My hands creep up to his shoulders, waiting for a kiss. This is definitely, the highlight to my day. "You are the birthday girl."

"... do you give all your students this kinda extra special attention on their birthday's? Cuz if so, you'd think everyone should like you more- I mean- I know I sure do, especially when you use your fingers to-- "

"Shut up." Is the last thing Callahan mutters, a grin on his mouth at my teasing babbling, before he presses his mouth to mine in a deep, needing kiss that makes my insides warm and my skin hot.

Otis B Driftwood:

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy-fucking-birthday, bitch... Baby found this thing on one of the cheerleaders. It reminded me 'bout you. So there 'ya go. There's your present. Can't say I'm never nice to ya now, huh?..."

As I hold the oversized flannel up in front of me, the colour green (i have 2 of those already but you can never have too many- ), I feel equally c r e e p e d out by it considering where it came from, and... heart-touched.

Otis- O t i s really remembered my birthday and thought to do something nice for me, because of it??? he actually saw something like this and knew I'd like it??? He pays attention to me!?? My heart is full and my panties are irreparable. Eyes wide and round, like a doe I'm sure, I look up at this terrifying man and open my mouth to speak... but no words come out. What do I say??? Should I just fuck him as a thank you??-

"Shut up. Don't look at me like that, jesus fucking christ."

"... But- " My voice is but a peep, still overwhelmed.

"I don't wanna hear it." He snaps, eyes rolling.

"Otis." I say firmly, forcing his name out as strong as possible, then throw the flannel over one of my arms and put my free hand on his shoulder. Giving a squeeze, I hope to convey all the gratefulness and appreciation I'm feeling through my eyes and a little smile. I wanna tell him thank you a hundred times and hug him; but he'd make fun of me. Its just not him; its just not us. "Thank you."

... looking grumbly, Otis frowns and nods. "Yeah, like I said, don't say I'm never nice to you. You're kinda alright, but don't go telling anyone I said that- " he gives a tiny smirk; a breath of fresh air amid all his scowls and mean old sneers. "You little liar."

... the softness from before returns to my eyes and he throws my hand off of him, leaving the room. "I fucken regret this!"

"Wait!- "

"Stay the fuck back there, I'm going to fuck up a corpse or something. Shit."

... I give a little smile again once he's gone, and pull on the flannel.

Jim Bickerman:

"Dumplin', there y'are! I'm back, and I hit quite the jackpot with this fella. I'll tell 'ya all about it later. Right now, where do you wanna go? It's your special day, ain't it? Don't bring your wallet, I got it all covered for 'ya today... If you really wanna pay, we can talk 'bout the fine print later tonight~"

A big giggly grin spreads across my face, the bridge of my nose scrunching up momentarily. "Oh we can?~ "

"Mhm, we can figure somethin' out I think." Jim nods, giving a lecherous smirk that is so Jim Bickerman Patented.

Smoothing out my smile and forcing a business-like look onto my face with a roll of my shoulders, I nod. "Oh good. Wouldn't want you to think I uh, don't appreciate you takin' care of me." A little grin makes its way back onto my face- I have such a terrible poker face. And he's too funny; in a silly, borderline creepy way.

"Aw, naw we wouldn't want that. And, look, I know how much you like to be a good girl and stay outta debt, right??- so don't you worry, I got some ideas for payment plans you might like ready for ya~ Hm?"

He reaches for me and I melt against him, throwing my arms up over his shoulders and letting out a completely un-sexy, undignified snort of a giggle; resting and elbow on his shoulder and covering my face with that hand. "You're so c h e e s y!!"

"Uhuh, yeah well sugar I have a feeling y'like that." He shrugs, as I peak out from behind my hand at him again; pulling myself together. "So it kinda sounds like more a you problem then me!~ Eh?"

... I just give a guilty-laughing look, hiding behind my hand again and burying myself in his shoulder this time.

"Jesus fucking christ you're too cute, sweetheart."

Happy Birthday friend! You have successfully survived another lap around the sun XD there's a lot of conflicting emotions with today, I'm certain. But I'm certain your today at least will be a good day for you ^^

Whether your birthday turns out great or not, your F/O's are here to wish you a Happy Birthday too! ^^

~

"Ah, Hannah darling. What are you doing? Getting ready for work? Oh no, no. Not today. I made some calls for you; you're not needed at that dreadful place today. You put that thing down and put on something proper. And don't dawdle, our reservations are in a half hour."

(I'm not sure if today is a work day for you. If not... Well Cruella it looks like you were wrong about something for once XD *ducks away from her wrath*)

~

"Hannah, I expect to see you after class. I understand you've made plans today, it won't take too long. There are just a few things we need to discuss about your schedule. We need to make time for your tutoring, after all. I have a very important lesson planned for you, later."

~

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy-fucking-birthday, bitch... Baby found this thing on one of the cheerleaders. It reminded me 'bout you. So there 'ya go. There's your present. Can't say I'm never nice to ya now, huh?..."

~

"Dumplin', there y'are! I'm back, and I hit quite the jackpot with this fella. I'll tell 'ya all about it later. Right now, where do you wanna go? It's your special day, ain't it? Don't bring your wallet, I got it all covered for 'ya today... If you really wanna pay, we can talk 'bout the fine print later tonight~"

(I hope I got them right XD especially Callahan XD and have a happy birthday!! ^^)

SARAH!!!!

THANK YOU!! THESE JUST KEPT GETTING BETTER AND BETTER! XD

Cruella: 💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

Callahan: 🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤

Otis: 🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥

Jim: ❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥

Oh my God, I love them all so so much!! <3<3<3<3 I- I'm grinning like a fool in the staffroom XDD I wanna say more but I have to go back to work!!!! 😭😭 I wanna write all these!! But alas-

Just- MANY THANKS! 💕!💛!💕!💛!💕!💛!💕!!!

#🐊jim bickerman🐊 #🖕otis b driftwood🖕 #👠cruella de vil👠 #📕professor callahan📕

[illadvisedselfships]

Happy Birthday friend! You have successfully survived another lap around the sun XD there's a lot of conflicting emotions with today, I'm certain. But I'm certain your today at least will be a good day for you ^^

Whether your birthday turns out great or not, your F/O's are here to wish you a Happy Birthday too! ^^

~

"Ah, Hannah darling. What are you doing? Getting ready for work? Oh no, no. Not today. I made some calls for you; you're not needed at that dreadful place today. You put that thing down and put on something proper. And don't dawdle, our reservations are in a half hour."

(I'm not sure if today is a work day for you. If not... Well Cruella it looks like you were wrong about something for once XD *ducks away from her wrath*)

~

"Hannah, I expect to see you after class. I understand you've made plans today, it won't take too long. There are just a few things we need to discuss about your schedule. We need to make time for your tutoring, after all. I have a very important lesson planned for you, later."

~

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy-fucking-birthday, bitch... Baby found this thing on one of the cheerleaders. It reminded me 'bout you. So there 'ya go. There's your present. Can't say I'm never nice to ya now, huh?..."

~

"Dumplin', there y'are! I'm back, and I hit quite the jackpot with this fella. I'll tell 'ya all about it later. Right now, where do you wanna go? It's your special day, ain't it? Don't bring your wallet, I got it all covered for 'ya today... If you really wanna pay, we can talk 'bout the fine print later tonight~"

(I hope I got them right XD especially Callahan XD and have a happy birthday!! ^^)

SARAH!!!!

THANK YOU!! THESE JUST KEPT GETTING BETTER AND BETTER! XD

Cruella: 💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

Callahan: 🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤

Otis: 🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥

Jim: ❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥

Oh my God, I love them all so so much!! <3<3<3<3 I- I'm grinning like a fool in the staffroom XDD I wanna say more but I have to go back to work!!!! 😭😭 I wanna write all these!! But alas-

Just- MANY THANKS! 💕!💛!💕!💛!💕!💛!💕!!!

[illadvisedselfships]

Imagine your villain FO reassuring you that you've done nothing wrong when finally give in to your desire for them 😈😘

😍😍😍😍😍

#🖕otis b driftwood🖕

[illadvisedselfships]

... I wanna wear it to see her XD

Look. At. This! This is so cute XD

#👠cruella de vil👠

[illadvisedselfships]

Imagine your villainous F/O…

One day, you're at school–  or at work, or at home– wherever you are, it's just an ordinary day like any other, filled with the same tedium and schedules. The same boring and frustrating patterns of your day to day life.

Except throughout the day today, every now and then you get chills, and feel a shiver down the back of your neck. You feel like someone's watching you. You look around, and you don't see anyone the first few times. But one time, you catch a glimpse of a figure lurking just barely visible, and quickly ducking out of view. But it must have been your imagination– because you thought you saw your villainous F/O. And it can't have been them. They aren't real.

It stays in the back of your mind for the rest of the day, every time you feel that strange prickle that you're being watched, but you don't see them again.

Not until the end of the day when you're passing by a dark corridor or alcove, and you feel a sudden grip on your wrist.

You are pulled into the shadows, and wind up chest to chest with someone who could not possibly be there. Your villainous F/O looking down at you, holding you with a tight grip.

They touch your chin.

"I finally have you," they tell you. "You're coming with me."

#O_O #yes

[illadvisedselfships]

You've been really generous with me and my ramblings ♡♡ Here's a free gush ticket from me to you!! 🎟️

Do your F/Os have any special nicknames for you, or you for them?

Julie Langford called me "Chickadee" ^^ 🐦🐤 In Bioshock, Rapture is a city built under the Atlantic Ocean, so it's really rare to see any living critters besides what people brought with them, and sea creatures of course. Let's say my family and I moved there in 1946 when the city opens, I must have been 8-10 years old - by the time Rapture collapses in 1958, over a decade's passed and my memories of the outside world are fading fast - (it's been a minute and my timeline may be slightly off) - to pass the time, I flip through Julie's National Geographic magazines and marvel at all the animals I'll never see again.

Ahhh, chickadee is so cute!! <3<3<3 I love your F/O thoughts man!! I love how your relationships work <3

Hmmm, I wanna call all my F/O's doll~ XD

Cruella's probably a 'darling' person.

Jim goes with food-names like peanut, pumpkin and dumpling. Also likely to use those old classics that come with my name like Hannah Banana XD

Otis probably uses bitch 😅😅😅 And look as long as he's not yelling at me, thats fine XD Other then that probably just Hannah ^^

Cal likely would just use my name. Or 'Miss (Last name)' if he's *cough* my professor-

#i dont care if its a grizzly old man. an old grey lawyer. or a crazy woman. #they're a doll~ ^^ #XD #thank you for the question and the ticket! XD

[illadvisedselfships]

Imagine a road trip/unlikely buddies movie about two or more of your F/Os from separate sources teaming up for the first time to rescue you from danger or get you out of some other situation.

Would it be a comedy? A drama? An action thriller? How would they interact?

#jim and otis jim and otis jim and otis!- #🖕otis b driftwood🖕 #🐊jim bickerman🐊

[illadvisedselfships]

Imagine your villainous F/O…

One day, you're at school–  or at work, or at home– wherever you are, it's just an ordinary day like any other, filled with the same tedium and schedules. The same boring and frustrating patterns of your day to day life.

Except throughout the day today, every now and then you get chills, and feel a shiver down the back of your neck. You feel like someone's watching you. You look around, and you don't see anyone the first few times. But one time, you catch a glimpse of a figure lurking just barely visible, and quickly ducking out of view. But it must have been your imagination– because you thought you saw your villainous F/O. And it can't have been them. They aren't real.

It stays in the back of your mind for the rest of the day, every time you feel that strange prickle that you're being watched, but you don't see them again.

Not until the end of the day when you're passing by a dark corridor or alcove, and you feel a sudden grip on your wrist.

You are pulled into the shadows, and wind up chest to chest with someone who could not possibly be there. Your villainous F/O looking down at you, holding you with a tight grip.

They touch your chin.

"I finally have you," they tell you. "You're coming with me."

#OH #YES- #🖕otis b driftwood🖕