#i promise im going to edit chapters 1 and 2

[nikogane]

it would be funny if you guys read my klance fanfic titled 'the way things go' on ao3 like imagine haha ha hah aha pelasepls ppealse please PLEASE its my first published fic after 5940580938 draft works

#klance #please read it im begging #i promise im going to edit chapters 1 and 2 #PLEASE #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #twtg klance

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

#stxrvel talks #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes angst #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier #the winter soldier #steve rogers

[dappledpaintbrush]

Lament AU Masterpost (I’m using that word wrong)

FIND OUT WHY IM YAPPING ALL THE TIME IN ONE SINGLE CLICK👇👇👇 AND YOU DONT HAVE TO READ 200,000 WORDS TO FIGURE IT OUT 🙏🙏🙏 (but if you do I’d sacrifice myself for you if needed)

ALSO I MADE CHANGES TO THE STORY (nobody gaf)

ALSO I ADDED THE POST-EPILOGUE ENDING OF AJL😈😈😈 kind of. Because it’s up to you as the reader if you want the remainder of the Lament AU to be canon to the story you read in A Jester’s Lament, despite AJL being the Lament AU (nobody gaf) (I’ll explain it in the post)

THIS POST WILL INEVITABLY BE EDITED‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️I AM OFF MY MEDICATION‼️‼️‼️

What is the Lament AU and why do you post so much about it?

Idk

No really

Okay wise guy, since you’re so insistent

The Lament AU is basically another Dimentio gets redeemed story. It started off in the form of an ao3 fanfic called A Jester’s Lament (AJL) that SOMEHOW gained so much love that I am still tweaking about it to this day. No seriously I owe my life to all of you. Im not joking. Email me for business inquires (sacrificial rituals). First come first serve btw

HOWEVER. While AJL is very VERY important to me and I’ll cherish it for all of time, it is a taaaaad bit outdated. While the fanfic itself is not changing, the story I established in AJL does have some minor adjustments now. Basically, think of AJL like a first edition of the Lament AU and this tumblr post is the second edition of the Lament AU LMAO

I’ll list specific changes for those who are interested (no one), but after that, I’ll give a summary of the Lament AU for those who don’t wanna read a 41 chapter Mario fanfic.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR A JESTER’S LAMENT!

What Changed in the Lament AU since AJL:

1. Dimentio’s Initial Betrayal/Count Bleck’s Plan

Having conspired the plan before he was integrated into Team Bleck, Dimentio planned on betraying them all so he could use the entirety of the Dark Prognosticus + Chaos Heart’s magic for himself so he could create his own perfect world with the utmost power and magic available. However, as he befriended the others, this plan would change. Dimentio decided to not only spare Mimi and O’Chunks, but create their own worlds as well and risk the grandeur of his own world (this is not some kind of heroic sacrifice, trust me). AJL states that Count Bleck had lied to the minions and was never planning on giving them their new worlds. This is no longer canon. In the current Lament AU, Count Bleck was going to give them their worlds as he had promised (although, he planned to commit suicide by letting the Void take him, something no one knew). Despite his seemingly decent relationship with Count Bleck and Nastasia, Dimentio never planned on sparing them. While this is true in AJL, his motivations are different. In AJL, he did not plan on sparing Bleck and Nastasia for he believed them to be a traitors (he was aware of Bleck’s real plan and Nastasia’s knowledge of it). This motivation is no longer canon. In the current Lament AU, Dimentio, in his cruel greed, still desired the extra magic to create his perfect new world. He knew that if he spared the Count (and ultimately Nastasia, since her ideal world was to be WITH the Count wherever he went), his original blueprint for his horrifying utopia would be ruined.

AJL also states that Dimentio decided to spare Count Bleck and Tippi because they reminded him of his parents. This is no longer canon. In the current Lament AU, Dimentio brought the pair to Dimension D to murder Bleck himself as revenge for what Dimentio perceived to be pathetic cowardice from forfeiting the plan to end all worlds (and murder Timpani as further revenge upon Bleck). Why he brought Nastasia, that is now as vague as it was in the game.

2. Jaydes’ Judgement

Jaydes commanded Dimentio to be brought back/to return to the Underwhere in order for balance to be restored to the system of Life and Death, which King Boo had disrupted when he had revived Dimentio. She gave Dimentio an ultimatum: Return now and live a neutral afterlife (the best he could get) in the Underwhere, or remain on the mortal plane, and be forever condemned to his cell in Bonechill’s Prison as a result. Dimentio would not return, and remain with the others in order to try to fix the harm he had caused. In AJL, this rule/curse was lifted after the Pure Hearts revived Dimentio after the explosion because, “She [Jaydes] claimed along the lines of the Pure Hearts never healing evil, which erased the gray line that made Dimentio undeserving of both his cell and the Overthere, and, in turn, apparently making her feel more guilty about her pronounced curse.” This is no longer canon. Not only is Dimentio never seeing the Overthere, but they never find out if Jaydes changed her mind. As far as they know, after the events of the war, Dimentio is still damned to his cell for all eternity when he dies as punishment for disobeying Jaydes, a belief that would continue for the rest of their lives.

ERMMM WHAT THE FISH!! I think that’s it for plot changes. If I think of anymore of course I’ll add it :3

NOW. Here’s what that fucking thing is all about.

Lament AU’s Story (summarized version) (SPOILERS FOR AJL) (OBVIOUSLY):

King Boo is pretty sick of Luigi’s shit. He wants this guy DEAD. One day, he hears of some gay guy that came pretty damn close to prevailing against Mario and Co., so he travels to Bonechill’s Prison and gets this gay guy to agree to join him. Using his Dead Ghost King Powers, King Boo revives Dimentio’s soul and grants him a new physical body as a result. This resurrection spell has some setbacks, though. For one, it takes many months to fully complete. Until then, the revived soul must rely on Life Magic (same shit from a Life Shroom basically) given from the reviver in order to stay alive. This means that until the spell is complete and Dimentio can survive without King Boo’s life support, any kind of spell that Dimentio casts will ultimately drain his Life Magic fuel because that is all the magic he has in his body at ALL (it is automatically taken upon entry to the Underwhere). Basically, Dimentio is more dangerous than he was in the games for he is no longer holding himself back in battle, buuuuut… sometimes he will pass out and King Boo has to perform CPR mid-fight. Ridiculousness ensues.

ANYWAYS, Dimentio’s deal with King Boo is that he kills Luigi, and King Boo will craft Dimentio his perfect new world (albeit maybe not precisely how Dimentio planned) using a hybrid spell. The rest of it is typical Luigi and Co. VS Dimentio and King Boo (oh yeah, Steward too). But Dimentio is having EMOTIONAL ISSUES. Ohhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Long story short, he is in complete denial that his new world is practically worthless without his friends. He is also forced to partner up with Luigi when the two accidentally end up in the Pit of 100 Trials. We also get some backstory (TLDR: Dimentio actually had an overall healthy and loving family growing up, but those who attempted to kill him and killed his mother sent him to wander dimensions forever, and he could not return home due to memory loss that lasted for a few thousand years. Skill issue LMAO get ratioed dumb fuck).

Anyways, that time in the Pit of 100 Trials planted a seed of “hey, this guy kinda has some swagger” in both Dimentio and Luigi. But it is only through more battles and through Luigi and Co. nursing Dimentio back to health (after Luigi tried to kill him with the Thunderhand LMAO get fucked gayass clown) that this seed grows. Eventually, Dimentio spares Luigi in a fight, and King Boo finds out about this. He’s like “man this guy SUCKS!!!” He drains Dimentio’s life magic, kills him, and puts his soul under mind control like he (King Boo) did with the ghosts in LM3. This is where Jinxed Dimentio comes from. Controlled by King Boo, Dimentio kills Steward and Luigi, who is revived by a Life Shroom. Luigi has a EUREKA 💡moment and uses another Life Shroom to try to revive Dimentio, which actually works.

Now Dimentio is kind of in a pickle 🤓☝️ The Life Shroom made it to where Dimentio was free from King Boo’s terms and conditions, meaning King Boo can’t go around taking his Life Magic away anymore. HOWEVER, the initial revival spell is not complete, so every spell Dimentio casts will still drain his Life Magic and kill him if he isn’t careful. In fact, the only Life Magic he has left comes from the Life Shroom, so for a while he can’t cast spells at ALL.

But anyways. Dimentio is now on the good side blah blah blah working to make amends whatever. But Queen Jaydes is like “HEY Luigi. Come here rq 🙏 since uh. You didn’t kill this guy and now he’s on your side. Uh. I gotta tell you he’s fucking shit up. Like the balance of life and death has been disrupted since he’s alive when he’s supposed to be six feet under. So bring him to me okay okay stop crying and pissing yourself. Tell Dimentio to return to the Underwhere. If he does uhhh. He can have a neutral afterlife with the Shaydees and not get punished. But if he doesn’t come back, he’ll return to his cell for all eternity.” Dimentio decides to stay despite this threat to try to right his wrongs and end the war he helped start.

Anyways Dimentio ends up using some of his Life Magic to put his sister (Shadoo) out of her misery, which leaves him weak as hell for the Final Battle which happens like 5 seconds later. Mf is practically on a ventilator and being rolled around on a hospital cot for the entire damn fight. That is, until he remembers he casted a Permanent Spell a while back to make his bed he had in King Boo’s fortress float off the ground (okay princess), so he absorbs that magic and is now balling (kinda). He uses a clone to trick and lead his friends away from the fortress, then confronts King Boo and uses a box-explosion so powerful it breaks the box and kills Dimentio in the process. The others find out, gooogoo gaga, womp womp. King Boo is somehow still alive. He’s about to kill everyone when some my little pony shit happens and the Pure Hearts return, imprisoning King Boo who fucking knows where and resurrecting Dimentio and, thus, finally fully completing the revival spell.

Blah blah blah happy ending, Dimentio knows he still has a long way to go to make amends, he works as a babysitter for the Koopalings now, he lives in Flopside, everyone goes on a fun and goofy Odyssey trip, yeah he’s going to hell for disobeying the goddess of death and judgement but let’s try not to think about that,

THE END

So.. erm… what happens after?

I’m so glad you definitely asked that question

So like I said- while AJL IS the Lament AU, it can also be considered its own “version” of the Lament AU because it is a fanfic with a clear ending- that being the Odyssey trip. Anything that happens after has been left up to reader interpretation for a while now. Because of this- it is completely up to you if you want the rest of the Lament AU to be canon to the A Jester’s Lament fanfic or not. Even though it’s the same AU blah blah blah blah blah. You want AJL-Lament AU Dimentio to live a very long peaceful happy time? HIP HIP HOORAY!! :D But. Lament AU Dimentio. Uh.

So

For a few years uh. Nothing. AJL ends on the Odyssey trip, and life continues as normal (+ expensive therapy) with our main protagonists becoming closer friends.

HOWEVER. Yk how Dimentio is like “Who knows? Maybe I have a few more centuries of life yet” at the end of the fic? (LOUD INCORRECT FAMILY FEUD BUZZER). Lament AU/AJL Dimentio only lives for about six more years post-war.

But user dappledpaintbrush, why? Why would you make him go through allat just to die six fucking years later? Seems overkill

Silence, young grasshopper

Okay I’m only kidding but like. Man. Come on. No matter how many good deeds I make this bastard do, no matter how many times I let him get bitch slapped around by the Consequences of His Own Actions (trademark pending), there is no expunging this unholy track record:

Also because. Get it. Six years is. How long he was away from his friends in the Underwhere/with King Boo. Get it. Pretend I’m a good writer with good parallels

But before he died, Dimentio ultimately decided that when he DID die, he was going to drown his soul in the River Twigz. Not because he was damned to his cell, but because he believed he had lived long enough to know he didn’t want to live forever, regardless of what his aftergame looked like. He told the others about this, and Luigi asked him if he [Dimentio] could wait to see him [Luigi] again first. This was asked under the assumption that Dimentio would die centuries after everyone else, and that there would be no “wait time” to see Luigi and the others again and thus, no risk of getting caught by Jaydes and sent to Bonechill’s Prison before Dimentio had the chance to end his aftergame. But yeah then Dimentio kicks the bucket from Ancient Death (basically: DAMN! YOURE WAYY TOO OLD LMAOOO. DIE INSTANTLY!). HOWEVERRRR, Dimentio said fuck it we ball and asked Jaydes if his punishment could be postponed so he could fulfill his promise to Luigi. This is when we finally get a resolution to the judgement subplot- she changes her mind about punishing him WOOHOO🔥🔥🔥

Also the gang visits him sometimes. rarely. almost never. because Jaydes is like listen ik yall are the heroes of all realities but yall can’t just Do That. Mostly they’re like BITCH KING BOO IS AT IT AGAIN😐😐 and Dimentio starts tweaking from the great beyond

But yeah uh. Dimentio still ends his aftergame when all is said and done. Sorry guys I just don’t see him willingly living forever. I think that desire died with his perfect world. Also I feel like it’s the final ultimate part of his redemption because he tried to eliminate every living thing from existence as well. Aldus enters the Underwhere (where he is now visible due to what is essentially Jaydes’ firewall) and ends his aftergame alongside his son, too. Father son bonding can I get an amen. Also, Merlova canonically died-died in the battle against the Skellobits. So yeah. The Dimentio lineage is completely eliminated by the ultimate end of the Lament AU. Thank GOD

I think that’s it. Idk how to end this

Thank you for reading this if you did at all :3 sincerely, yappledpaintbrush

#lament au #yappledpaintbrush #by April 2024 dimentio will have 4 more years left to live #rejoice

[wibixthecowboy]

Play the Song: Part 6: A Little Quieter

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.  

UPDATED TAGS PLEASE READ

Warnings/Tags: !graphic depictions of panic attacks!, references to suicide attempts (no descriptions), references to SA (no descriptions), Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, swearing, weapons, justified angst, tooth rotting fluff, I can fix him he just needs a hug, warning for an excessively bad taste in music, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, wholesome brother Gaz, touch starved Ghost, eventual smut, praise, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), size kink, oral f receiving, ghost will do anything to get his dick sucked, idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV

A/N: Here is the long chapter I promised you! Sorry its so late... I may have indulged in a glass of wine.. or two.. so after I re-edit tomorrow it might be an entirely new chapter. OKAY IM DONE TALKING NOW ENJOY!

Words: 4.2k 

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

★Flash

Flash wakes quietly, eyes blinking open to see a dark expanse of a desert, and she has a blissful few moments of tranquility before her dreams come rushing back.

Her cheeks flush when she turns to Ghost, there was no way he could tell what her dreams had been about, but the thought of him somehow seeing the rated R images her mind conjured up horrifies her. Being so busy at the academy, even with her own room, leaving little time to indulge in more carnal desires. It had been years since Flash had even kissed someone, meaning it took an embarrassingly small amount of action to light the candle nestled between her thighs. In her defense, Ghost wasn’t much better, when he had stood between her knees that first night, Flash could see the way his hands shook with nerves and the uneven rise and fall of his chest. If it hadn’t been for his tense posture when leaving the bathroom, she would have guessed he’d, well, relieved himself. The thought of him getting off to her has Flash pressing her thighs together in embarrassment. Jesus, she needed to get her shit together.

Once she’s collected her thoughts enough to focus on their surroundings, Flash notices the music is playing again, this time at a lower volume. She smiles softly at the image of him turning on her music and flipping through the songs.

“Do you like the music?” She murmurs, stifling a yawn with her hand. Ghost turns quickly to look at her, he must’ve not noticed her earlier fidgeting. He clears his throat before answering. Flash finds his embarrassment endearing.

“I’m usually too busy to think about listening to music,” He drums his fingers against the wheel once before continuing. His voice is softer this time, “Yes I’m enjoying it.”

Flash feels her smile grow at his admittance, giddy at the idea of him opening up, to her no less. She wants to press, to ask him about his favorite genre, if he has one, or if he’s ever listened to ABBA (a personal favorite of hers). But she schools her excitement, knowing pushing would get her nothing. She chooses a safer response.

“I’m glad.” She resists the urge to reach out and touch him, fingers itching to peel the mask up over the cut on his chin and patch it up herself, the blood has soaked through the dark material and wound a path down his neck. She instead settles on resting her head against the seat to watch him as he drives, doing her best to ignore his exposed forearms and the way they flex whenever he makes a turn.

“Me too.” This new side of Ghost has Flash melting into her seat, the gruff man that was shoving her to the side just the day before was peacefully sitting next to her listening to Fleetwood Mac. Oh, the wonders of the world.

_____

Even in the dark, Flash is still able to see the rough outline of the compound. The area is dimly lit with small orange lights glowing around the perimeter of the concrete building, giving it an almost halo effect. It’s a lot smaller than she was expecting, dwarfed by the staggering height of the academy, the compound and its attached airport were pitiful.

When Ghost stops the van in front of the building he’s quick to step out and start towards the compound, leaving Flash scrambling to collect her things and jog after him.

“What’s with the rush big guy?” She says, feeling more at ease after their less than life changing conversation.

“I have things I need to do.” His tone is short and as soon as he finishes, Flash realizes that the sort of comradery that they had going in the van was no longer an option, her smile falters a bit, but she doesn’t let it ruin her entire mood.

While they were still in their friendship arc, Ghost had told her about Gaz. He’d mentioned that they might get along well, as long as she didn’t take his title. It took her a few minutes of pestering and promising to be silent for the rest of the ride to get Ghost to admit that Gaz is the proclaimed baby of the group. Supposedly, Price let him have first dibs on seconds. She made a bet that she’d have his spot in less than three days, and she was ready to get her 20 dollars.

Ghost holds the door open for her and watches as she thumps through the small space with her bag. When she turns to thank him, he’s already made it halfway down a hallway to their left. Flash huffs a breath in his direction and turns back to survey the large room in front of her. It's cozier than she was expecting. Although the room is made entirely of concrete, a handful of mismatched rugs make it feel less industrial. To her right, opposite the hallway of doors, is a small kitchen, separated from the rest of the room with a curved counter space. It has a small stove, fridge, and a table that looks like it's been taken out of an REI magazine with its bench seats. Further into the space, there’s a cobbled together living room, two worn armchairs facing a hideous orange loveseat.

There's three men there now, watching a black and white film on the small tv perched atop a rickety wardrobe. All three turn to look at Flash when the door closes loudly behind her. She gives them a sheepish smile.

“Hi?”

“Flash!” Soap jumps over the arm of the loveseat and walks towards her. “I thought we agreed Ghost was going to leave you with the cargo.” He teases.

When he gets close enough, Flash shoves his shoulder.

“And I here I thought I’d finally found my team.” She retorts and relishes in the pinch of his brow. He opens his mouth but a hand clamps down on his shoulder before he can speak. Vargas, or Alejandro as Ghost had called him in the van, steps around Soap to smile at Flash.

“If it isn’t our little Protector de Fantasmas.” He says slyly.

It takes Flash a moment but when she’s able to decipher what he said her body stiffens.

“Relax Rubia, word spreads fast around here.” Alejandro leans against Soap’s shoulder with an elbow, much to his annoyance. “He told me you had two of his men down before Ghost had recovered. That’s some impressive work.”

“I didn’t end up here by getting lucky.” She says and immediately regrets it. Flash is so used to defending her position that she doesn’t even recognize his words as a compliment, but from the earnest look on his face, she can tell he means it.

“Luck has nothing to do with it.” He says with a half smile and Flash returns it in full, hoping it would smooth over her harsh comment.

Soap clears his throat and shoves Alejandro’s arm off his shoulder, supposedly done with their conversation. He turns away from her to gesture at the third man who is hovering a few feet away from the group.

“Flash, this is Gaz.”

He’s younger than she expected, and cuter too. He looks like a cover model for an airport magazine, bronzed skin and perfectly straight teeth that make her flush when he smiles. A classic case of too handsome to be human. She wants to ask him what position he played on his high school rugby team but decides against it at the last minute. First impressions are important.

“Hi.” She says and sticks a hand out, kicking herself for being so formal.

He takes her hand but instead of shaking it, he pulls her into a hug, clapping her on the back a few times. Flash is so close she can smell the remnants of his cologne, she can’t quite place it, but it brings her back to the Hollister across from her favorite smoothie shop.

When he releases her, the bag hanging from her hand weighs a few more pounds, and her cheeks burn a bit hotter.

“Welcome to the team Flash.” Gaz bumps against Soap’s shoulder a bit rougher than necessary. “I’m excited to have someone to talk to from this century.”

Soap shoves him back and gives him a pointed glare,

“What the fuck do ya’ mean?”

“I mean,” Gaz gets out between his laughter, “I don’t always want to hear about your suffering during the potato famine.”

Flash laughs loudly at this, once again basking in Soap's wounded expression. Maybe she would have to become allies with Gaz instead. Alejandro shakes his head at them before interrupting their squabble.

“I’m heading out if this is what our conversations have divulged.” He grabs his things from the endearingly rustic table and salutes Flash. “See you soon Rubia.”

She salutes back and ignores Soap and Gaz’s offended looks, watching Alejandro leave through the same door she and Ghost had entered through.

“Let me show you to your room,” Gaz says, apparently done with his pestering, and Flash realizes halfway through a yawn, how tired she is.

“That would be amazing.” She says with a sleepy smile.

Gaz leads her and a moping Soap down the same hallway Ghost had disappeared through and stops in front of the second to the last door.

“This will be your room for now,” He gestures to the solid oak door and grimaces before continuing, “The building was not built with the expectation of women so the bathroom is shared between two rooms. I’m sure you and Ghost can figure out a system.”

Flash’s eyes widen at his words. She’d be sharing a bathroom with Ghost? Jesus have mercy on her poor soul.

“Ghost? You mean I can’t share with you? Or Price?” Gaz seems to catch onto her panic and lets out a barking laugh.

“No sadly I have to share a bathroom with this pig of a man,” He says and kicks Soap in the foot. She almost feels bad for him. Almost. “And Price got the only room with an attached bathroom.”

Flash curses and takes a steeling breath. This is far from the worst thing she’s endured. But the idea of sharing such an intimate space with such a private person has her heart racing.

“I’m sure it won't be much different from your dorms.” Soap says and Flash can’t believe she’s gotten both pity and reassurance from the two. She really must have drawn the short straw.

“I had my own rooms at the academy.” She grumbles and both men look at her in disbelief so she awkwardly pieces together an explanation, “When you’re young and better than a lot of men, they like to find ways to keep their ego inflated. Nothing too bad ever happened. It was more of a precaution.”

Flash feels awkward opening up to two people she’s known less than a week, but it gives her a sense of relief to finally tell someone. Soap gives her a sad smile and Gaz rests a warm hand on her shoulder.

“You won't have to worry about that here then. Go in and get settled, we already ate but you’re free to have whatever’s in the fridge.” Gaz gives her another one of his dazzling smiles and turns to leave with Soap.

Flash is quick to shut herself in the room, already blinking back tears. So this is what they meant when the other recruits talked about finding a family. All of her years of training suddenly feel worth it.

She bites her tongue as another wave of emotion rolls over at the sight of her room. It actually looks like a bedroom. A large bed takes up most of the space, framed by two small nightstands, and a plain oak wardrobe rests against the far wall next to a full mirror. It's simple, but the warm light spilling from the bedside lamp ties the room together with a gold bow.

What she see’s next though, has her heart leaping into her throat. Her iPod has been set on the nightstand, next to the carefully wrapped shape of her headphones that she’d so carelessly left in the van. He’d been in here?

Flash sets her bag on the bed before walking carefully through the door to her left, not wanting to risk a creaking board under the carpet. They definitely didn’t hold back this time. A long counter with two porcelain sinks stretches the distance of the bathroom, across from it, there’s not only a standing shower but a large clawfoot bathtub. It's been years since Flash has taken a real bath and she nearly caves at the sight of it. The door at the far side of the room keeps her focused. Still stepping lightly, she stops right in front of the door and raises her fist to knock against it. She hesitates at first, her fist only gliding across the wood surface before she’s knocking harder.

There’s no answer at first, but when she knocks again she hears a muffled come in. Flash falters for a moment, she hadn’t prepared for him to actually answer. She takes a deep breath and turns the handle, pushing the door open.

The breath she’d taken is immediately knocked from her chest when she sees Ghost writing at a desk. He’s dressed down to a tight black shirt and a pair of jeans, an outfit that despite its conservativeness, has Flash feeling like she needs to cover her eyes. The balaclava is crooked at his neck, obviously hastily put on, and the thought of him sitting just a room away without it makes her stomach flip.

“Can I help you?” His rough voice has whatever sad excuse Flash had for interrupting him flying out of her head. She recovers quickly though.

“I wanted to thank you for bringing my things in.” She says quietly and he just shrugs, not looking up from his journal.

Flash hovers for a second, looking around his room in hopes to find another conversation starter. Ghost’s room is nearly identical to hers, sans desk. His bed is rumpled but the rest of his room is in near perfect condition. When her eyes land on the small stack of books on his wardrobe she sees her opportunity.

“Could I borrow a book?” He does look up at this, wordlessly glancing between her and the stack. “I forgot my charger and I have a hard time falling asleep without my music. Maybe if I read I can bore myself to sleep, not that you’re books are boring! I just mean it might be relaxing.” She knows she’s rambling but she’s to distracted by the tilt of his head to care.

“Go ahead.” He says, waving a careless hand toward them and returning to his task

Flash quickly walks to the stack, grabs the first one, and retreats back to the doorway. It’s clear that he’s waiting for her to leave, but she can’t bring herself to shut the door behind her.

“How does your chin feel? That guy hit you pretty hard.” She says hesitantly.

“I cleaned it.” Ghost huffs in an uninterested tone.

“Are you sure? It looked bad from where I was sitting.”

There are a few seconds of silence and during them, Flash watches Ghost relax a bit further into the wooden chair.

“I’m fine Flash” His voice is softer now, and when he says her name, a warm shiver runs up her spine.

“Okay then, well, goodnight?” It comes out as more of a question and she kicks herself for being so easily affected. He doesn’t respond right away and she’s about to close the door when he finally speaks up,

“Goodnight.” She almost misses it, but when she hears his quiet reply she practically slams the door shut, running through the bathroom and throwing herself onto the bed.

It takes a tremendous amount of strength to peel herself from the covers to clean up in the bathroom and it takes even more to not look at every product he has next to the sink and in the shower.

When she's finally settled, old western novel in hand, she doesn't even make it through the first page before nodding off.

______

Their little dance goes on like this for the next two weeks. Despite her constant protesting, Flash is left at the compound to train with Price while Soap, Gaz, and Ghost run through several small busts. None of them memorable enough to recount when she comes barreling into his room upon his return. Her presence has become more bearable. After seeing their team's appointed psychiatrist, he’d been put on a heavier dose of anxiety medication. When Price found out, he insisted that Ghost also make a point to talk to the doctor about his problems. Claiming that their team needed him at his strongest. That's where he is today. Sitting in the conference room, now a makeshift therapy room.

Comforted by the notion of doctor-patient confidentiality, Ghost lets the hard set of his shoulders relax against the green armchair of the psychiatrists office. Opposite of him sitting at a large oak desk, Dr. Marks, a balding eccentric psychiatrist who he’d been becoming more familiar with over the last two weeks. The doctor sighs as he flips through the various medical records in Ghost’s file before closing it entirely and shoving it to the side of his desk.

“And you said that your only side effect has been trouble falling asleep?” He didn’t want to admit it, but the pills have been helping. He’s only taken them a handful of times since having the dosage upped, but they did their job a bit too well. With a clearer mind, Ghost is able to identify his source of panic much quicker, but that also meant that nights spent alone were filled with images that he simultaneously craved and loathed. That had been their topic of conversation this past week, Ghost’s unflinching desire for domestic life.

“Yes.” Ghost mutters.

“I can prescribe you a light sedative, nothing too strong, and in a small amount. You can refill it as you run out.” Dr. Marks leans back in his rather antique looking leather chair and rubs a hand against the silver scruff on his jaw, giving him that same sad smile. “I’m sure you can understand why.”

Ghost gives him a curt nod, not wanting to open up more room for discussion on the subject.

The doctor seems to pick up on it and swiftly changes the topic, already used to Ghost’s aversions to that certain page in his file.

“Have you thought any more about what I told you last session?” Dr. Marks asks softly.

“I’ve thought about it, yes.” Ghost says, avoiding eye contact by picking at the rough linen fabric of his own armchair.

“And?”

“It’s not going to happen.”

When Ghost looks up he can see the pity in the doctor's eyes. It’s seemingly the only way people know how to look at him like he's something that’s needing coddling. Except for her, and that’s his problem.

“There is still an opportunity for happiness, it’s in there Simon. When you’re ready to bear it, it will find its way back to you.”

“How can it find me if I can’t even find myself.” Ghost sags further into the cushion of the armchair, choosing to observe the dark wood grain of the desk rather than the eyes staring straight through him. He already regrets opening his mouth.

“You’re a lot closer to finding yourself than you think. Sometimes we need assistance though, and that’s okay.”

Ghost huffs a quiet laugh at his words and stands, ready to be out of the suddenly stifling atmosphere. Dr. Marks stands with him, reaching a hand across the table. When Ghost takes it, rather than shaking them, the doctor rests his other hand on top and gives their clasping hands a gentle squeeze.

“You’re still young. Don’t let your past control your future, it can be suffocating but you’re stronger than you think.” Dr. Marks gives him a kinder look now, one that has Ghost’s throat tightening. He needs to get out.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll let you know when the prescription comes in, I don’t have a small enough dose I can give you now but it shouldn’t be too long.” It’s again followed by the same ‘I feel guilty but don’t know what to say' look that he dreads so much.

Ghost gives him another nod and covers the space between his chair and the door in just a few strides, opening and closing it quickly without looking back.

Before he even reaches the doorway he can hear her laugh. A bright sound that warms his chest and leaves him a bit breathless. When he does walk into the room he sees Flash, Soap, and Gaz sitting around the kitchen table arguing over a card game. From the looks of it, Soap is losing, he’s slumped back against the wall glaring daggers at Gaz while drawing cards from the main deck.

Ghost turns to look at Price who is sitting in one of the two armchairs facing the kitchen, watching the three with a smile on his face. He strides over and takes the chair next to him.

“How’d it go?” Price’s eyes don’t leave the group.

“Better. I’m getting something to help with my sleep.” He says with a sigh.

Price does turn to look at him now, brows furrowing.

“We won’t have any problems will we?” Ghost feels the burn of shame on his cheeks.

“No. Small doses.”

“Good.”

They go silent after that. Both turn to focus back on the rowdy group. Ghost finds himself zoning in on Flash. Her laughter has turned the apples of her cheeks a rosy pink and even from across the room he can see the way her eyes shine. That same tingling tightness that has plagued Ghost for the past week returns at the sight, squeezing the breath out of his lungs in a warm embrace.

“She’s a sweet one that girl.” Price says, gesturing towards Flash with the bottle in his hand. “It makes me worry.”

Gaz, taking advantage of Soap’s bathroom break, has started slipping cards into his hand left on the table. Flash is bent at the waist laughing, wiping away tears, and begging Gaz to stop before he returns.

“I wouldn’t.” Ghost says distractedly. Price raises an eyebrow at him.

“You would know?” Price’s gaze softens as he takes in Ghost watching her. “You’ve taken a liking to her then?”

Ghost stiffens at his words but doesn’t bother arguing, Price is the only one he doesn’t bother lying to. He’s able to see through Ghost’s rough exterior wall too easily.

“You know I can’t.” Ghost's voice is a near whisper.

“It’s not against code, young as she is she’s just as much of a Lieutenant as you are.” Price says softly. Ghost turns to look at him, missing Soap’s boisterous reaction to his now deck of a hand.

“We both know it’s not that.” He mutters.

“You can’t shut everyone out forever Ghost.” Price says before taking a sip out of his bottle.

Ghost is about to tell Price that he absolutely can when a voice shouts across the room for him,

“C’mon Ghost! Come play with us!” Flash yells while beaming in his direction and Ghost feels his knees weaken at her excitement over him playing a game, it was usually quite the opposite. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d sat and listened to Soap and Gaz complain about having to be on his team. It was never done on purpose, but it still struck that small chord that rested at the base of his skull. The one that was currently urging him to take the seat next to Flash and forget about the warning sirens going off in every other part of his brain.

“I’m heading off to bed.” He says instead, knowing nothing good would come of it. Flash frowns at him for a moment but then shrugs her shoulders. He stands from the chair and starts towards the hallway of rooms.

“Awe well I’ll just take Soap up on his offer. He said we could go,” Flash scrunches her nose and turns a questioning gaze to Soap, ”what did you say?”

Soap looks at Ghost with a devilish smirk and even though he’s speaking to Flash, Soap keeps his eyes locked with Ghosts.

“I said we could go practice her poker with Alejandro’s boys.” Soap says simply. Ghost freezes and all earlier hesitation evaporates.

“How do you play the game?”

#ghost x reader #Ghost x female oc #simon riley #cod fic #simon ghost riley #Slow burn #family dynamic #modern warefare 2 #ghost stories #soap #mw2 headcannons #mw2 smut #ghost likes his hair pulled

[tendou-satori-chocolatier]

please give me your iwaoi fanfic recs 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Help I'm so dead. I just freaking deleted my iwaoi recs list and now I have to make it again 🥲🥲🥲 freaking Tumblr. You guys better eat this up cause im remaking this all over again. Okay anyways, ver 2: my iwaoi fanfic recs list:

(Not in any particular order, most have smut, all can be found on ao3)

1.) Coffee king- oiivkawa- the starting point for my love of cafe au's, best coffee au fanfic ever period, so so so fluffy, oikawa is the cutest cafe server and he falls HARD for the cafe's new kind-of-regular, Iwaizumi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10721739/chapters/23756658

2.) Wedding ring- crazychipmunk- angst, heart-rending, surprisingly made me cry, happy ending tho, super good angsty iwaoi fanfic, I promise its not ALL angst tho😭, it's super fluffy too

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393174/chapters/61577038

3.) The courtship ritual of the Hercules beetle- kittebasu- bugs? Oikawa is still a nerd its just for bugs now, I'm just gonna copy and paste the summary cause I love it and it sums it up perfectly: "Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right." I love fics like this that preserve the characteristics of the characters even though it has nothing to do with volleyball

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6422014/chapters/14701168

4.) That's your husband?!- a_very_smolfrog- just😌🤌, iwaoi being simps, oikawa is a physics professor and iwa is a volleyball coach au, makki is iconic as always, iwaoi being the iconic: childhood friends to lovers and we adore eachother but we will definitely expose eachother if need be trope, I'm so sad this is so short (2000 words), it should've been longer😔, I adore them all

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412615

5.) Conquering the great king- suggestivescribe- this fic is actually so iconic, just perfection at its max tbh, just iwaoi being iwaoi but make it smutty and make it at the office, iwa is an editor and tbh I don't remember or know what kawa is, it's some office job, not kuroo being a slay as always, honestly has to be one of the best iwaoi fanfics of all time

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3301085?view_full_work=true

6.) Until the sky opens up- iwaoidk- the summary lowkey did them dirty, not really tho cause I still read it😋🙄 but this was way better than I thought it was going to be, like iwaoi accidentally gets kissed by every member in his team, I'm still convinced that they did all that to make oikawa GET A MOVE ON, oikawa confesses and he's a little dense but so is iwa so whatever, they're perfect for eachother like that😻

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008225

7.) Looks like it- ivyfics- iwaoi have been dating for a while now, they just didn't know it, iwa is very competitive in his knowledge on tooru, cute and short, recommend if you want something to speed read for some lighthearted fluff

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729118

8.) Six month lover- afuzzyowl- I'm gonna be completely honest, I haven't finished this fic yet BUT I PROMISE ITS NOT CAUSE IT WAS BORING, IT WAS SO GOOD, I just never got to finishing it cause I was busy but thinking about this fic makes me actually want to finish it, oikawa makes iwaizumi a PowerPoint presentation on why they should date, oikawa is absolutely utterly in love with iwaizumi (same, like who isn't?), oikawa is trying to convince his best friend to fall for him, I adored this and now I need to go finish it, edit: HELP IM BASICALLY FINISHED AND ITS SO GOOD BEHESKJSA ITS SO SO SO GOOD I CANNOT EVEN FIND THR WORDS

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100501/chapters/32488506

9.) Kilometer zero- internetpistol (orphan_account)- a classic iwaoi fic, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn, it's just them in a class well done iwaoi fic, there's nothing else to say, it was really good, "just gay yearning"- the author's ao3 tag

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732224/chapters/70448769

10.) The Pda jar- orphan_account- iwaoi is obliviously in love, everyone knows it but them and they're all tired of their pda so they make a pda jar, it's really the only way to make them see their idiocy😌, this is why I love aoba johsai folks, live love laugh seijoh, highkey hilarious

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230951

#here you guys go! #sorry for procrastinating while making this😭 #iwaoi fanfics #haikyuu fanfics #iwaoi fanfic recommendations #haikyuu fanfic rec #haikyuu fanfic recommendation #haikyuu #iwaoi #iwaizumixoikawa

[stormblessed95]

Has your interest in BTS / jikook / Jimin / Jungkook declined since solo era has started? Have you noticed any trend like that in the fandom?

My tl gets unusually quiet nowadays which makes me wonder if everyone's kind of ia nowadays, or if twitter is just bugging out, or if it just means it's time to find new accounts to follow.

For me overall, I feel like the number of casual BTS fans has greatly increased and is still doing so despite their hiatus because of their solo works but I do feel like the core fandom that used to be so involved in organised fan events, voting, edits etc has actually shrunk recently. I'm also unsure if people are just on a temporary hiatus themselves as they're more invested in group activities only or if they've permanently left. People leaving is normal of course, but when the number who leave >> new people who join, that's a sign of the fandom weakening.

For me personally, I've just got a lot going on, so I'm not participating vocally in fandom spaces as much as I used to. I have a bookstagram account on insta that had quite a bit of a following that I haven't posted on in MONTHS. I just haven't had the time! Lol so it's not just tumblr/bts/jikook. I promise. I talked about what I've got going on briefly here:

So as for fandom trends in chapter 2, I haven't been keeping up with it unfortunately, so im probably not the best person to ask. I HAVE been keeping up with BTS, their debuts, their solos, their interviews, voting, etc. Just not so much with ARMY/what ARMY has been thinking outside my very carefully curated feed as much as I used to right now.

So has my interest in BTS/jikook faded? Not at all. Has my interest in WRITING about it on here faded? A bit. I had some not so great experiences on here this year that soured my joy of this hobby just a bit. As well as just how incredibly busy and exhausting my life is right now, its just not a priority for me and I'm leaning more into my fantasy escapism of books and fanfic more than I am writing in general and writing here about jikook at the moment. But I like to think that once my life chills out a bit more again, I will find more joy in this space again. And my interest hasn't gone away either, I still like being here and engaging with yall when I have the time and energy to do so!

I do think chapter 2 is bringing forth a fandom explosion in the way of solos and BTS doing more to insist on breaking the bubbles fans like to seem to put them in, but otherwise, idk what else to say. I don't think the fandom is weakening either. Jikook both just hit number 1 on billboard recently and all of BTS have been breaking records left snd right with their solo work! That's impressive stuff as always and the sign of a still very active and involved fanbase

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: webtoon edition!

my final 2023 wrapped post for the year! unlike previous ones, this list is every series i read this year vs. ones that started this year. previous lists for this year:

cdrama edition

kdrama edition

ranked from least favorite to most favorite, which doesn't mean objectively best, just ones that hit me more. ones that are completed series will have a * after the title

15 my deepest secret*. omfg i hated this webtoon. the twist was asinine and frankly ignorant. none of the characters were likeable by the end. hate quit this one with like 5 chapters left to go i just couldnt

14 my second husband. seemed promising at first! i was hooked for the first 40 chapters or so but then it just started getting weirdly paced, had big plot holes, and nothing ever felt like it was getting resolved. the ML had like 0 charisma as well. dropped.

13 to love your enemy. this one was REALLY fun until the cult arc hit and then it was the biggest wtf is happening. dropped it shortly after

12 i dont hate us*. i liked this one until the timeskip ending, where then everyone and everything just felt really off. the second female lead gets a special mention because i HATED her at first but by the end she was my favorite character <3

11 romance 101.* this was okay. the art style was really cute and i loved the FL. but there never seemed to be any chemistry with the main ship to me, and the plot became really focused on the app/programming club which bored the hell out of me. dropped this one around chap 100

10 shadow bride. nothing bad but nothing particularly noteworthy for me. fluff read.

9 high spirits neoma. im not very far into this webtoon yet, or it'd be higher up the list im sure. im around ch 5 and finding it really charming and i love the color palette for it

8 dreaming freedom/freedom in dreams. although the art style isnt my cup of tea, i really enjoyed this fucked up high school revenge/romance webtoon but where im currently at (ch. 111ish) it's starting to feel a little circular. hoping it goes back to what it does best which is Unsettling Shit

7 my reason to die*. man this would've been in my top 3 but the ending arc is just. really boring??? like i dont want to watch them search for a pot farm for 10 chapters. i havent finished this one yet, but ive been putsing getting back into it ever since post reveal. the drama is very pretty though and the reveal chapters hit me like a truck in a good way

6 operation true love. i borderline hated this webtoon when i first started, but the reviews had me wanting to stick it out and im so glad i did!! around ep 10ish it really finds its footing and just keeps going for it! very kdrama in flavor and endearing FL.

5 unholy blood*. a fun, dark, and nostalgic webtoon about vampires and vampire hunting that brought me back to my tween years in the best way. the character designs are really awesome. it's a little lower on the list because the ending felt a bit rushed, but it's a really solid horror/action comic with a lil romance

4 surviving romance*. this one's complete but i got about 10 chapters left. it's a really fun horror comic (NOT romance, dont be fooled by the title) that reminds me of extraordinary you but if the plot was focused on the metaphysical horror of it a little more. fun characters and relationships. a little lower just because the second "return" arc feels tedious/unneeded so far. we'll see. TEAM RINA.

3 maybe meant to be/fate found by chance. ive found that i tend to gravitate toward darker webtoons, so this is my c-c-combo breaker! cute, funny, quirky, and really endearing. standard contract marriage plot but between two delightful weirdos

2 purple hyacinth. this series is everything. the art is gorgeous, it has its own OST built into the reading. the characters are nuanced and complicated and omg it's a ride and a half so far.

1 olgami/trapped*. INCREDIBLE characters and such an intense look at enemies-to-lovers. the drama starts as a psycho-thriller about gravedigging for a vampire and ends up about two leads who have never learned how to love willing to try it with one another in their fucked-up way. dysfunctional. hot. SO GOOD. the art evolution for this series was great as well

#webtoon #manhwa #olgami #purple hyacinth #maybe meant to be #gizka 2023 wrapped

[maes-flowers]

For them, for us [4] (Obi-wan Kenobi x Reader)

Summary: Following the Kenobi series, two former Jedi masters Obi-wan Kenobi and Y/n Marilla are grieving the lost of Anakin, Padme, and the jedi purge. After pledging to watch over Luke Skywalker and spending ten years in exile and making a life together, what will happen when the mistakes they made in their past come back as a new threat?

Authors note: If you like this series so far please like, reblog, and comment below! it helps alot and I really love to hear what people think! if you would like to be added to a taglist let me know down below as well.

Warnings: Descriptions of death, violence, angst, hurt/comfort, general couple behavior, idk man I really suck at warnings and I did not edit this that much lmfao im so sorry next chapter will be better I promise

Prologue- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

The moment you arrived on the transport the first thing you noticed was Leia was nowhere to be found. You limped to the pilot's area where Tala sat, you must've fractured your foot when you kicked Vader's metal forearm. 

“Tala, where's Leia?”

The look of guilt on her face and the lack of response made that flare of fury spark in your bones again, you smacked a hand on the back of the pilot chair and spun her around.

“Where is Leia?” you said slowly.

“I had left her to come help you and Ben, I thought the passage was clear of anyone else when I left but when we came back she was gone and the transport was still here.” Tala explained calmly.

You stepped back, laughing in disbelief as you looked at Tala.

“You left a ten year old CHILD alone while the empire was hunting for her?!” you shouted. “Do you know how stupid that was?” 

Tala opened her mouth to speak but you cut her off.

“You worked for the empire, you have to know what inhumane things they do to people and you left a child at the hands of the people who torture and kill innocent people.” your voice cracked. 

Tala went to speak again but you shook your head.

“Get me and my husband to Jabiim now, the sooner Obi-wan heals the sooner we can make a plan to get Leia back.”

“I'm sorry Kilian, I truly am.” Tala apologized.

“Then prove it.” 

You didn't bother to say anything else, limping back to where Obi-wan had laid and Ned-B was watching him and his levels. You went to touch his face but froze when you caught a glimpse of your face in the reflection of the window.

Your eyes, or well just one eye was yellow, the color was a large contrast compared to your other eye that held your normal color. Your hand went up to your face, fingers moving over the newly corrupted eye.

You didn't bother to conceal the gasp that escaped your lips as the weight of what you did crashed over you like a tsunami. You had just gone against everything you stood for the majority of your life. Using the force for your own gain, letting your emotions control your actions, letting your attachment to Obi-wan grow unhealthy and possessive.

You walked backwards, away from the window and Obi-wan and pressed yourself against the wall to physically get yourself as far away from Obi-wan as you could. You let out a cry in pain as the rocks and rubble from when Vader force pushed you across the rough ground that still remained in the skin of your back pressed against the cool metal of the ship, the adrenaline from the fight long gone as you felt dry blood crack and shift across your skin.

“Y/n”

You looked at the voice and saw Tala standing by you, concerned on her face at your position.

“I'm sorry,” You whispered out defeatedly. “I didn't mean to treat you like that. I'm so sorry.”

Tala put a comforting hand on your shoulder, guiding you to sit down on the floor as she reached for the bag of supplies you gave her when you left her and Leia and pulled out the contents, placing them on the floor beside you.

“I'm going to lift your shirt, okay?” Tala said quietly.

You winced at the feeling of the fabric fibers clinging to your skin, the thread mingling with the blood as Tala lifted the shirt to show the expanse of your back. You bit your tongue as Tala began on removing the debris, the quiet clanking of the rocks hitting the metal floor.

“You're not a monster Y/n.” Tala murmured suddenly.

You turned your head slightly, trying to look at her but it was useless.

“How can you say that? You saw me back there with Vader and how I just treated you.” you said bitterly. 

“I think you're mistaking fighting to survive and to protect your loved ones as being wrong and evil. Monsters kill innocent people and take what they can from whoever they want, not caring for anyone's safety.” Tala explained, as she wiped the blood off your back with an antiseptic. The sting of it grounding you slightly as you listen to her speak.

“You feel regret and shame for something you did and thought it was wrong. That doesn't make you a monster, that makes you human.”

Her words doused the fire in you, the guilt and fear remained but had simmered down to a burning ember that was now much easier to tame and accept with a healthier mindset. You felt more like yourself and you realized how close you were to losing yourself in the dark.

Tala placed a bandage on your back, covering the now clean wounds and pulled the ruined shirt over your back again. You turned around so you could look at her face to face and gave her a tired smile.

“Your words mean more to me than you know, thank you.”

Tala smiled back and placed her hand on top of yours and gave a kind squeeze.

“I'm honored, and I promise you we will get Leia back.”

You and Tala sat on the ground for what felt like hours until the ship rattled as it entered the atmosphere, Tala helped you stand up your balanced shaky as you avoided putting weight on your injured foot as Tala went to land the ship while you limped to Obi-wan. He was somewhat conscious as he blinked in confusion, a pained gasp leaving his lips as the ship jostled his body as it landed. Putting a hand on his uninjured arm to keep him steady you leaned over him, his eyes unfocused gaze couldn't meet yours.

“Hold on baby, just hold on for a little longer.” you begged.

You stayed by his side until the hatch of the ship opened and two men came in and took him out on a stretcher, you went to follow but you yelped in pain when you put your full weight on the foot. Ned-B heard your cry and the droid walked over to you, his cold robotic hands wrapping under your legs and lifted you up and walked you out of the ship. Tala turned to  you as she walked alongside Obi-wan on the stretcher.

“We're taking Obi-wan to a Bacta tank! Ayla will help you with your foot and I will grab you in a moment!” Tala shouted before she walked around a corner. Ned-b walked you over to a cot and gently placed you on it as a woman walked over.

“Thank you Neb-B.” you smiled, patting your hand on its hard chest.

The woman kneeled down by your foot and gently lifted it, examining it with care. She hummed in thought before glancing up at you.

“Your fifth metatarsal is slightly fractured.” she explained as she slid off your boot and socks, her hand rested over the bruised skin.

You suddenly remembered your eye and froze, your hand coming up to cradle it. You didn't want these people to think you were sith.

“Ignore my eye,” you murmured nervously, scared of her reaction but all you received was a raised brow.

“Your eyes are fine, unless there's an issue you're having?” Ayla asked.

You put your hand down slowly, looking for anything that had a reflection but Ayla handed you a small mirror from her medkit and you held it up to your face. You smiled at your reflection, no yellow iris in sight, just the normal pigment.

“Did you hit your head commander?” Ayla asked and you blinked.

“I'm sorry? Did you just call me commander?” you asked in disbelief you haven't been called that in so long you almost forgot about it. Ayla just smirked her hands wrapping around your ankle and you could feel the bone in your foot mending back together.

“I was a medic for the 501st battalion, I helped when the infirmary was too full but I was a new jedi knight.” Ayla said before she pulled her hands away. “Does that feel better?”

You rolled your ankle and were pleased to feel no pain in the movement and slid your boot back on.

“It's perfect thank you, Ayla.” you grinned. “I have to go see how my husband is doing but I'm glad you were here.” you hoped she understood what you were trying to say.

“I’m glad you survived as well.” Ayla said kindly before she waved you off. “Please don't let me hold you back, go see your husband.”

 You followed the path you saw Tala take when you first arrived, avoiding shoulder checking people in the small area as you walked around the corner. However, you weren't expecting the large bacta tank to be in the center of the newly accessed area, the machine was lowering Obi-wan's crippled body into the tank. Jogging over you placed your hand on the glass, his body twitching over and over again.

“Y/n,” Tala called down from her spot on the stairs that led to the top of the tank, quickly coming down the steps to meet you. “Ben is fine. He will need to be in here for a few hours at least but there's a small wash area I want you to go and clean yourself off, I put clean clothes out for you as well.”

Your body screamed for a shower, it had been a long time even before everything happened with Leia that you had access to running water. You and Obi-wan had to opt for water canteens and rags when the time called for it in the barren desert. Your eyes casted nervously towards the tank again.

“He will be fine, I also don’t want to take the chance of any bacteria to get into the cuts on your back.”

That…made sense.

“Okay,” you relented. “Show me the way.”

Tala guided you to the small wash area, and she wasn't lying when she said it was small. It had a flimsy curtain that shielded what looked like a crevice in a cave small enough you didn't think you could hold your arms out if you wanted to.

“I know it's not perfect but-”

“Tala it's perfect, thank you.” you cut in, putting a kind hand on her shoulder.

“Alright, I'll see you soon and if Ben's condition changes I'll come get you.”

“Thank you.” you said again. “For everything.”

Tala just gave you a shy smile in response and left you alone. You sighed to yourself and clipped off your lightsaber, placed it next to the pile of clean clothes tala left and began to peel off the sweat and dirt covered layers before you undid the messy braid your hair had been in for the last two days.

You turned on the water and stepped under the spray, closing your eyes in bliss at the lukewarm water drenching your bruised skin. The bandage on your back surprisingly stayed on as you rubbed the dirt off your face, arms, legs, hair, and nails. Turning the water a murky shade of brown as it went down the drain.

You didn't give yourself the luxury of staying in for long, partially due to wanting to go back to Obi-wan and also the guilt of having a shower while Leia was stuck with imperials who were probably interrogating her at that very moment.

That thought alone made you turn the water off and roughly dry off with the small rag Tala had left hanging by the shower. You grabbed the simple pair of black linen pants as well as the simple light blue tunic and slipped them on, you had missed the feeling of clean clothes on your back.

 You quickly slid on a black cloak-like vest and your boots, strapped your lightsaber back on the harness on your thigh and made your way back to Obi-wan.

Only to find him no longer in the tank.

Your mind went to the worst case scenario; his injuries were to servere and the bacta tank couldn't do anything and he was dead.

“Tala!” you shouted looking around for your new friend, walking around quickly.

“In here!” she shouted, poking her head to the corner to a room you didn't even notice your first walk around. You sprinted in the room, your feet skidding and your wet hair whipping in your face at your abrupt stop in front of Tala.

“Where's Obi-wan? Is he okay? Why is he out of the tank? Is he dea-” you rapid fire question came to a halt when Tala simply stepped aside revealing Obi-wan standing in front of you, dressed in clean robes and alive. He had a look on his as he stared at you, one that made your gut twist violently you wanted to throw up.

He knows what you did, what you became for a brief moment.

“I'm so sorry.” you started. “I'm sorry for breaking our promise, for doing what I did, for leaving Leia-”

Obi-wan made the first move quickly, coming up to you and pulling you in his arms, one hand smoothing the hair on the back of your head and the other wrapping around your back. His head was bruised on the top of your head while yours was shoved into the crook of neck.

“You're still the woman I love, that's all that matters to me.” he leaned and whispered for your ears only. “Thank you for doing what you did to protect me.”

You pulled away, running a hand through the now clean hair thanks to sitting in the bacta tank and pulled him close to kiss him just two quick pecks on his chapped lips and pulled away, your hand placed on his chest as you looked up at him with fierce determination.

“Let's get our niece back.”

🖾

“Roken.” Tala called out, guiding you and Obi-wan into another area of the cave. You saw large men kneeled down working on a small machine, he looked behind him and shook his head when he spotted you.

“They shouldn't be here.” Roken spat out.

“I know you're upset, but-” Tala was cut off when Roken stood up and walked over.

“I mean it,” he said sternly. “Get them on the first transport out of here.”

You crossed your arms behind your back and shuffled in place, the tension growing faster and faster each second as he pointed at the two of you.

“Too many people are looking for you, you put us all in danger!”

“We need your help.” Obi-wan said.

“So does every kid making a rock float from here to Coruscant!” Roken countered.

“Someone very important to us has been taken, we need your help to get her back.” You argued.

“I'm sorry general and commander but that's not my problem.”

“I wish that were true.” retorted Obi-wan.

Roken sighed and shook his head, walking away but the three of you trailed behind him closely.

“She knows everything. Where we are, what we're doing.” Tala argued. “Roken, if she finds us then we need to prepare for an evacuation.”

“I can't just shut everything down, Tala. everything runs outta here.” Roken dismissed as he leaned down in front of  a control pad.

“Then help us get her back,”  Obi-wan insisted. “You've no idea what the empire is capable of.”

Roken did not like that comment, turning around with an angry look and pointed at you

“This is your wife?” he asked.

“Yes.” Obi-wan said cautiously.

“I had a wife once, just like yours. I knew exactly what she was before we got married and we tried to hide it, but the inquisitors found her anyway! So I know exactly what the empire is capable of.” he fumed.

“Roken,” you spoke softly, he turned to you and you placed a hand on his shoulder. “I know you care for everyone here and you want them safe and I respect you greatly for that, but without your help another life just like how your wife's life was brutally taken away will happen again.”

Rokens face softened at your words and he looked down for a moment before looking back at you.

“Look, if you want my help, you got it.” he offered and you dropped your hand from his shoulder and nodded.

“Tell us everything you know.”

Roken nodded and gestured to you to follow him, leading you to a meeting room that had a small holotable in the center. You, Obi-wan, Tala, Roken, and two others hovered around the table.

Roken smacked the holotable a couple times before the hologram popped up showing a planet. You were standing in between Tala and Obi-wan leaning against the table as Roken zoomed in.

“Nur, it's a water moon,” he said. “We got this off the grid while it was being built, it's all we have but it's in the Mustafar system.”

“That's Vader's system.” Tala pointed out.

“Is Vader there?” Obi-wan asked.

“We don’t think so, our intel shows he is still on his ship but he's close.”

“So that's it?” A scrawny man said from across the table. “Fortress inquisitorius.” 

A woman looked over at the man and glared at him.

“It's impenetrable, Wade.”

You scratched your cheek in thought.

“How far down do you think it goes?” you wondered out loud.

“No idea,” Roken shrugged. “It's their base of operations so it probably has a command center, a training facility.”

“Truth is, nobody knows what it looks like.” The woman next to Drew said. Obi-wan leaned in at the table and tilted his head.

“I don't see any shields.”

“That's because no one would be stupid enough to attack them.” Roken replied.

“We could take those speeders, go at night.” Obi-wan pointed behind him. “I saw some T-47s in the hangar.” he suggested.

“It's suicide.” Roken said.

“Yeah well, we're not soldiers. Those speeders are for hauling sewage.” The woman said.

You stood up straight and planted your hand on the table, catching everyone's attention.

“You may not be soldiers, but we are.” you said, gesturing to you and Obi-wan. Which was the truth, you didn't give three years of your life for nothing. “She's ten years old, we won't leave her there and we’ll go on our own.”

“Your friend can barely stand and I don't think you could handle the base all by yourself.” the woman said, making you raise a brow.

“Wanna bet?” you glared.

“I'll go with them.” Tala chimed in and everyone looked over at her in surprise. “Well, I have officer clearance. I can get you inside and I can get you access .”

Obi-wan stood up from his spot and stepped closer to her, his brow creased deeply.

“Is your cover still intact?”

Tala shook her head, unsure from Obi-wan's question.

“We’ll find out soon enough.”

“Tala-”  you spoke, worry evident on your face as you looked at your friend.

“We're wasting time, get my ship fueled and ready.” Tala demanded, cutting you off. She didn't give you a chance to speak again before she stormed off.

🖾

Your head rested on Obi-wan's lap as you tried to get much rest after your fight with Vader, you had tried to convince Obi-wan to rest as well but he refused politely. Your eyes were half opened as the family hum of the ship rocked you gently into an almost asleep state but the sound of a small object dragging against metal kept you awake. You twisted your hand and pulled the object to you and gripped it tight in your hand.

“Stop trying to force it Obi” you mumbled tiredly. “You heard what Tala said earlier, your mind needs to heal as well.”

You adjusted yourself to lay on your back rather than your side and looked up at Obi-wan and handed back the object you now recognized was the holoprojector Bail had given Obi-wan years ago. He looked down at you with a disappointed face, slightly dejected at his rusted skill.

“How are you feeling?” you asked.

“I’m okay,” he answered. “Sore, but okay.”

Anakin played a cheap shot, clearly still bitter from Obi-wan leaving him after he burned and wanted payback. You were glad to see that only his arm was damaged compared to his former padawans disabled state.

“How did you do it?” he asked quietly and you looked at him in confusion.

“Do what?”

“How were you able to fight him…” he paused for a moment. “Like he wasn't Anakin.”

You were quiet for a moment as you gathered your thoughts.

“I didn't care,” you admitted. “Not when the dark side had me in its grips, all I wanted was revenge. To make him suffer like he made you suffer, like he made Padme suffer, like he made those kids suffer.” you closed your eyes when you felt him run a hand through your hair. 

“I care now though,”  you whispered. “Even when I know I shouldn't and when I saw what it did to my eye and how scared I felt when I let my emotions get the best of me I can't imagine what Anakin felt when it first happened to him.”

You opened your eyes again and sat up, Obi-wan followed your movement with his eyes as you put a hand on his knee.

“I feel terrible about it, but at the same time I'm glad I did it. It felt so wrong leaving you like that…I don't even want to think about what would've happened if I left you there.” 

“I shouldn't have asked you to do that, knowing how stubborn you are I should've known you would come after me.”

You chuckled lightly at the statement.

“From here on out, we do this together, as a team.” you said, holding out your hand. “Deal?”

Obi-wan hesitated for a long moment but eventually grabbed your hand and shook it, you lifted your conjoined hands and kissed his knuckles, your personal way of sealing the deal.

Tala walked in, she was dressed back in her imperial uniform as she hovered by the door, the look on her face was serious.

“We’re almost there, I'll drop the ship low enough above the water for you two to jump in and from there I'll override one of the underwater entrances to get you in.” she handed you and Obi-wan breathers. “Be ready in about three minutes.”

You quickly prepared, removing the pouch attached to you to avoid anything more to weigh you down while you swan and braided your hair to be out of your face. You were nervous, unsure what you'd witness in the fortress but you refused to let that make you hesitate.

“You ready?” Tala asked.

“Yeah,” you nodded, glancing at Obi-wan who also gave a confirm nod “Open the hatch!”

The damp wind rushed over your body as the hatch opened, the sound of the roaring engine loud in your ears as you looked over the edge. The drop down to the water looked about thirty three feet, the height made you swallow nervously.

“Don’t think, don't think, don't think!” you shouted to yourself over the wind before placing the breather into your mouth and jumped.

You couldn't hear Obi-wan's worried shout as you leaped, quickly crossing your arms and keeping your legs straight as possible as you plunged into the bluish green water. Everything around you went deathly quiet as the water filled your ears. Your surroundings are slightly blurry underwater but you could make out the explosion of bubbles as Obi-wan entered the water. You began to swim to the large building, fish and other creatures floating past you as you pushed yourself through the slightly murky water.

“I'm overriding an entry point, it should be right ahead of you.” Talas' voice appeared in your ear though the commlink. You and Obi-wan swan ahead, the entry opening above you slowly as you swan to the top.

When you dragged yourself out of the entrance, the small room was silent beside you and Obi-wan wringing out your water logged clothes. The sound of water splashing on the smooth black floor echoed loudly. The two of you went to the doors, each of you against the wall on either side as you heard the hiss of the doors sliding open and a stormtrooper walking in to investigate the noise. Obi-wan acted quickly, jumping forward and wrapping his arms around the soldiers neck and dragged him back to the pool of water and held him tightly until he went limp in his arms. He tossed the unconscious body into the water and came back to the door, pulling out his commlink.

“We’re in.” he said, his voice low and rough as he stalked forward in the hall. You haven't seen him this focused and aggressive in so long you forgot how good it looked on him. You cleared your throat and refocused, this wasn't the time to think about how good Obi-wan looked.

“Where is she, Tala?” you whispered.

“Detention areas in a secure sector, just keep heading north.”

Suddenly Obi-wan yanked on your arm and shoved you  against the wall. You braced yourself for your head to hit the hard metal at the quick move but was relieved to feel Obi-wan's hand cradling the back of your head as he pressed himself closely to you. His large frame  was blocking your view but you heard the quiet hum of a droid go past you.

“Seeker droids.” He whispered into his commlink, guiding you to hide around the corner.

“I see it,” Tala confirmed. “It looked like they're everywhere, you'll need to-” her voice cut out.

“Tala?” you asked. “Tala, can you hear me?” you called out worriedly.

You and Obi-wan sprinted as the seeker droid rounded the corner again, stealthily running over to another hall and quickly shut it.  You crouched down low as Obi-wan stood straight against the wall when it came up to the door and peered into the small window. You held your breath as it scanned for any life forms, only releasing it when you heard it float away.

“Tala?” Obi-wan called out.

There was no response.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hall made you curse.

“Maker, give me a break.” you hissed, you and Obi-wan splitting off and climbing behind the large slanted beams supporting the building across each other. Your body leaned back awkwardly against the metal.

“This place gives me the creeps.” A stormtrooper commented to his buddy.

“Hopefully we won't be stationed here for long.” he replied.

Yours and Obi-wan's commlink crackled as Talas voice on the other line spoke out.

“Ben?”

You quickly covered the commlink speaker with you hand when the stormtroopers froze.

“Did you hear that?”

You leaned to the side and saw them pull out their blaster and retreat back down the hall where they came, you began to panic when they stepped forward to look directly where Obi-wan was hiding but a sudden thump in the distant made them turn their head

“Over there, let's go.” One of the troopers pointed out, running down the hall.

You leaped down from your spot and looked at Obi-wan, a proud look on your face as you walked quickly the opposite way the troopers went. His strength within the force was already returning and it made you happier than you wanted to admit.

“What happened?” Obi-wan whispered, glancing behind the both of you to make sure no one was following you.

“I had some company, but it's been taken care of.” Tala assured him.

🖾

You felt like you've been walking down the same hall for hours now, each hall being a bland duplicate of the last with the occasional turn. The same door being the same dull gray over and over again.

You might lose your mind.

“Ben. Y/n. Where are you?” Tala asked as you turned another corner.

“I think we just found the secure sector.” Obi-wan said and you glanced up. This door was different, it still had the same gray matt finish but on each side had a bright red Imperial symbol on each side. Obi-wan put the key in and the doors revealed another hall doused in a dark red light, Leia had to be close. You started to run, only stopping when a new door had to be opened. Being so focused in made you run halfwaythrough  another hall before you even processed the new shade of golden orange surrounding you. Looking over at Obi-wan, who now had a horrified look on his face.

“Obi, what's wrong-” you asked, looking to see what he was staring at only for your words to die on your tongue. A sea of rows upon rows of bodies encapsulated in an amber looking substance, a multitude of species frozen in time before your very eyes.

“What is it?” Talas asked.

“I think we just found out what was hiding down here.” Obi-wan said slowly, discomfort very evident in his voice. “This place isn't a fortress.” 

“It's a tomb.” you muttered appalled at what you were seeing as you began to walk slowly back to where Obi-wan was. multiple jedis, women, men, and even a few padawans with their training helmets still on. You swallowed the bile climbing up the back of your throat when you say one child's peculiar terrified face.

“Is this the reason inquisitors are hunting us? To harvest Jedi?” you gaped.

Obi-wan froze at one specific person, his face visibly paling so much you could see the color leave his face from a couple feet away.

“What's wrong?” You asked alarmed.

“Y/n, don’t come over here.” Obi-wan said seriously.

That tone he used made you even more nervous and you moved to see what he was looking at but he quickly mauvered coming at you at a freakish speed and pulled you away. You fought against his grip as he wrapped his arms around your chest.

“Obi-wan, let me go.” you grunted angrily, as you twisted in his grip. “Obi-wan!”

Your hands came to his and you had to use the force to give you enough strength to counter his  to pry his hands away from you which allowed you to then rip his arms off of you and ran to where Obi-wan a moment before. 

Once you processed what you were looking at you desperately wished you listened to him. Hovering in front of you. A tholothian woman, with golden umber skin, and purple eyes stared back at you. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, the blood from your own face draining away.

You knew those eyes.

“Master Stass?” you breathed out, the air in your lungs being ripped away by the invisible force that was grief. It seemed the world beneath you shifted, like a tectonic plate giving you your own personal earthquake. You pressed your hand on the glass and dropped your head, a silent sob racking over your body.

Your body was basically limp when Obi-wan dragged you away from your former master. his arms around your back being the only holding you as you buried your face in his chest, a broken scream ripped from your throat that was muffled by the thick material of Obi-wan's tunic.

“I know,” Obi-wan soothed, his head bruised in your hair and he held you tight. “I'm so sorry.”

Of course he knew. he had lived through the same loss of Qui-gon all those years ago, but then you were both Padawans and the roles you and Obi-wan were in now were revered.

You were tired of crying and constantly losing things you loved and cared about due to the empire.

“Young Padawan, you wear your heart on your sleeve.” Master Stass kneeled down in front of you.

You looked up at her with red eyes, the council had pulled you aside after a mission went wrong due to you protecting  another jedi who got injured during battle resulting in you leaving your station. The council had given you a very strict talk about attachments and the adhering to jedi code and warning if you were to mess up again you'd be suspend and or expelled from the order.

“You were wrong, master.” you wiped away your tears with your sleeve. “I'm not meant to be a jedi, the council even said my emotions are hindering me.”

Which was true, in a sense. You've grown very serious attachments to your master and Obi-wan. The woman who basically raised you and the man who is your closest friend and secretly loved. The fear of losing them was something that followed you through every sunrise and every sunset. You've had issues of forcvison'sns being triggered, most of them happening when you lost a grip on your emotions and they were beginning to hinder you in multiple aspects of your training.

 But those attachments made you want to be better, to train harder and to protect fiercely.

How could that be bad?

“You are a person who is very in tune with your feelings,  but I do not perceive that as a bad thing young one as that is how the force created you.” Master stass put a hand under your chin and lifted it gently, a gesture for you to hold your head high. “Do not think of a thing  you cannot change as a weakness, use it to its potential to do good in a healthy way. Wear your strengths and flaws with pride and through that I believe you will be a great jedi one day my young apprentice, perhaps one that can show a new way of life.”

You shook your head.

“Master, the council said emotions and attachment were-” 

Master Stass held out a hand, silencing you.

“Trust in the force, if you ever stray away I will guide you home.”

You came back to your face still buried in Obi-wan's chest, your tears made the material wet as it soaked up your grief. You pulled away to look at the man in front of you, who quietly wiped away your tear tracks with the pads of his thumbs as he looked at you with worry. Stepping away from him you slowly went back to your beloved master.

“Master,” you spoke softly, your hand pressing against the glass as you looked in her eyes. “I'm sorry I couldn't protect you like you protected me. The loss is a part of me now but I will use these feelings to protect the people still here.”

“Help, somebody help. Please!” Leia's voice echoed through the force, disnat and scared. You looked at Obi-wan in fear.

“Tala,” Obi-wan said urgently. “We need a distraction!”

“Why, what happened?”

“Just do it, now!” you shouted and you began to run again.

The closer you got to Leia the stronger you felt her through the force, her fear acting as a guide to where she is.

“There!” you pointed out a door with another red symbol on it, you ran to open it but Obi-wan called out to you. He pointed out the electrical panels that controlled the lights and doors to that room and pulled out his lightsaber and slashed the panel. The door opened, leading to a large interrogation room, with a red circle on the floor illuminating the room just enough for you to see two stormtroopers guarding Leia. 

You moved quickly, moving to the one on the right. Your footsteps light against the tile as you creeped up behind them and slowly raise your lightsaber to their temple and activate the weapon.  The trooper let out a quiett grunt as the blade entered through one side of his head and through the other before drooping to the ground. Obi-wan went full aggressor and repeatedly attacked the trooper before they also dropped dead. 

Running to where Leia was strapped down you and Obi-wan quickly undid the restraints and placed her on the ground. Getting on your knees you smiled widely at the sight of her being unharmed.

“You're both alive, they told me you were dead.” she frowned. 

You pulled a stray hair covering her forehead and tucked it away behind her ear.

“We’re okay. They wouldn't have been able to kill us before we got you home, we’re far too stubborn for that. Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

“I didn't tell them anything.” she promised.

“We know.” Obi-wan said gently. “Come with us, we're going to get you home.” 

🖾

You ran through the maze of halls again as Obi-wan held onto Leia's hand, keeping your head down as you passed through the tomb again. Focusing on the fact there was nothing you can do about your master without endangering Leia, Obi-wan, and yourself. 

Focused on trying to get out of the base and watching for troopers you totally forgot about the seeker droids roaming around the halls until the three of you were walking down the hall and heard the obnoxious alarm beeping right behind you, cursing as it began to follow you.

“This is fine, it's just us around here. I'll just break the droid with my saber before the laram sounds.” you said getting you saber ready right as the main alarm began to go off, the sound echoing off the walls. “Okay, nevermind. Run. Run. Run!”  

Obi-wan whipped out his commlink.

“Tala! We're out in the open!” Obi-wan shouted.

There was no response for a moment but soon enough you heard a panting Tala call back.

“Where are you?”

You didn't get a chance to respond as a blaster shot whizzed by your ear, turning on your lightsaber you lunged and deflected a shot from hitting Leia right in the back. You force pulled the seeker droid to you and sliced the machine in half while Obi-wan continued to send the two stormtroopers at the end of the hall blaster shots back their way. One of the shots went through the chest of the stormtrooper on the left leaving one standing. Obi-wan moved fast and closed in on him before spinning and cutting them in half, spinning his saber in a dramatic flare.

“Come on, follow Ben!” you ushered Leia quickly, deflecting blasts from two more troopers before running away.

The scenery changed once you turned down a new hall, the walls now showing the underwater landscape against the window panes instead of matte black like before. Multiple stormtroopers and a few imperial workers swarmed both the entryways in the halls.

“Hide!” Obi-wan told Leia, who ran to hide behind a lip of the window seal. Blocking herself from the fire of blaster shots. Obi-wan deflected the shot with ease, his mastery of the Soresu form still very much intact, tight and controlled. Focusing on defensive rather than offense. You never mastered one form of lightsaber combat, your arenal of combat moves continually pulling from the Ataru and Djem So forms. Preferring speed and using your strength in the force to use aggressive attacks.

You ran and dropped to the floor, sliding across the smooth material of the floor and sliced the enemies legs off, their dismembered upper half thumping beside you. Shoving ther body away from you stood up and found your back pressed against Obi-wan's working as a team to take down the ever growing group of stormtroopers. 

“Just like old times huh, Kenobi?!” you grunted as the ache in your arms grew.

One of the blaster shots Obi-wan deflected and smacked the control panel, closing the door as another wave of stormtroopers and shocktroopers were coming at you. The blastershot malfunctioning the door making it stuck.

“Ben the window!” Leia shouted.

You and Obi-wan turned and saw a large crack in the glass, the crack webbing out and growing larger and larger as each second passed. Obi-wan shot his hand out, preventing the glass from shattering and drawing you all. The troopers began to pry the door open but you held your hands out and fought to keep the doors closed with the force, however it was a fast losing battle with one person against seven.

“Ben. Y/n!” Tala shouted, finally finding your small group.

“Tala!” you shouted out relieved to see her okay.

“Tala get her out of here, i'll hold it!.” Obi-wan grunted out as the crackling of the glass grew larger. You looked back at Obi-wan, sweat growing on your face as you fought desperately to hold the door closed.

“Tell me when!” you shouted.

Obi-wan moved his hand, the cracking sound of the glass growing louder the closer it traveled to you.

“Now!”

You dropped you hand and ran back right as the glass shattered and a wave of water came crashing down the hall, side sweeping the troopers.

“Run!” Tala screamed at the both of you.

You and Obi-wan stumbled forward, jumping over the dead bodys and ran for your life as the water roared after you. Tala smacked the control panel right before you and OBi-wan ran through, the doors closing right before the water could escape with floating bodys drifting around like a fish in a tank. Water began to seep from the seal of the door as you caught your breath.

“That's not going to hold for long.” Tala said, kneeling down and handing you and Obi-wan a coat from the two imperial workers on the floor. 

“Put these on.”

🖾

“There's no way this is going to work.” you mumbled under your breath walking beside Tala as Obi-wan hid Leia under his coat. Her small body created a large lump on his right side as the four of you walked across the landing dock. Imperials were everywhere you looked, everyone panicking as the alarm still blared repeatedly through the large base.

“Almost there.” Tala muttered.

You kept your head down, not having a hat to cover your face as you kept a nervous hand on your lightsaber in your pocket. The dock was cleaning up from people, soon enough you would be off this planet.

“A traitor!” a voice shouted loudly.

The four you spun around and saw the third sister, saber drawn with a small army of stormtroopers and shocktroopers behind her.

“A child and an old couple. Was it worth it?” the third sister sneered. “Betraying everything you are?”

Obi-wan pushed Leia behind him while you stepped behind Leia, the two of you created a small area of protection for her as you began to be surrounded with blasters pointed all around you.

“This was never who I was.” Tala said.

The third sister raised her lightsaber at her menacingly.

“Then you die, for nothing”

You put a hand on Leia's shoulder, anxiety bubbling in you as even more blasters were raised. You closed your eyes prepared to get shot when you heard the loud rumble of a ship appear above you. Looking up as two fighter ships flew down and began shooting at the imperials surrounding you, loud explosions and fire quickly invading the area. You snagged a balster off the ground and urged everyone to move. You, Tala, and Obi-wan fought off the few stragglers as you moved closer to the edge of the landing dock as the third sister followed.

The second figthershipped landed roughly on the ground sparks flying as the top of the ship came down and Sully poked her head out.

“Get in!” she shouted.

You quickly lifted Leia into the ship and followed her before leaning out the window to pull Obi-wan and Tala up. The top closing as the first figthership began to shoot at the third sister, distracting her from getting any closer. The ship shot off, you stumbled at the speed as Sully yelled at Wade to stop his attack.

Not being able to see what was going on, the sound of an explosion made you flinch as a pained shout came from Sully, calling out to her friend. 

🖾

The air was solemn when you walked onto the main ship, everyone walked slowly as equations and disappointed tugged at your bones. Roken walked in smiling, but his face quickly fell when he was the dejected looks on everyone's face.

“Where's Wade?” he asked.

There the lack of response gave Roken his answer, he closed his eyes and sighed.

“I guess your soldiers now.” you said, turning to Tala. “I'd get the girl a drink.”

Tala nodded sadly and walked off while Sully sat down. 

Shrugging off the imperial jacket, you went to the window and watched Nur fade away in the distance. The guilt of having to leave Mater Stass alone on that planet ate away at you.

“Are you okay?” Leia asked.

You turned around and saw her sitting by Obi-wan, who also looked at you in concern. The sight of them alone made the loss more bearable, you may not have been able to help your master but at the very least they were okay. 

“Yeah, I'm okay.” you smiled sadly.

Leia looked down at Obi-wan's hand and reached up placing hers on top of his, he looked down and looked at her so softly it made emotion grip at your chest as he turned his hand and gingerly held her hand, rubbing a comforting thumb across the back of Leia's hand. The two smiled at each, providing each other a comfort they didn't know they needed.

Taglist:

@luna-writes-stuff

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@ginger-swag-rapunzel

@padsfirewhisky

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#obi wan #obi wan fluff #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan imagine #obi wan fic #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars prequels #star wars the clone wars #ewan mcgregor #anakin skywalker

[quirkle2]

I literally would read the hell out of a ranch au fic. like I would consume it it would lengthen my lifespan for two more years, ohhhh my god

WOOOOOOO

no promises it'll ever be a thing, rly, but if i do end up writing it it's nice to know people r interested :] the main thing i'm worried about is the anxiety, for me, that comes with posting a story that's still in the works

back in da bnha days i posted a nine chapter fic all at once bc i 1) don't like to keep people hanging, and 2) HATE posting stories that are unfinished. for maaaany many reasons, but one of the biggest is because i often go back and change details when im writing fics, and if i post snippets and not a full story all at once, i won't be Able to go back and edit, bc it'll be posted already

sometimes i cut entire scenes out of a fic if it ends up not flowing/belonging w the rest of the story, and if that ends up happening here, i won't be able to cut smth out. it gives me a lot of anxiety, posting stories that r not completely finished and edited. maybe this is a chance to overcome that ? idk

#qktalks #bluesmoth #there's a Lot of reasons im so against posting my unfinished stuff #but that's an issue w this . bc there's no real ending to the ranch au i cant Wait to post it all #not that the ranch au will turn into a boring and pointless mcu deal where they just keep making shit to make shit obviously #dear god no #but . yeah u get it #im also just.. gonna feel so guilty leaving people hanging between updates #bc the updates will NOT be regular and they might not even be within the same few months #it'll be a slow process #the ranch au will likely just .. be a side thing while i write other shit #so . i'd feel bad putting it out at such a slow pace #idk . im definitely overthinking it GVEIA

[thesugarhole]

opening one (1) romac chapter before sleep though

i really thought "damn dude can i get a fucking vowel" as if i didnt already know his full name dex number and occupation by heart

pilots first first-name usage in the comic as it currently stands. (i do not have an opinion on the the timing of the reveal. i dont think this comic is bringing new readers in anyway so yah) (edit: the timing is ok)

HEY WHAT THE HELL!!!! IF YOURE ASKING HIM TO DO A PRE-APOCALYPSE JOB YOU CANT USE POST-APOCALYPSE LOGIC TO JUSTIFY IT AND MANIPULATE HIM!!! THATS PLAYING DIRTY THATS BEING SHADY!!!!

VERY RUDE!!!!

"im thinking too romantically right now. quick, justify it with chris' job perspective" ass monologue. this suits me fine though im the last standing snipilot shipper in this goddamn wasteland

the way this is painted kinda makes it look like snippy is sideeyeing him dsjshghdk "did you just say you enjoy hunting me out loud. what is wrong with you."

ah. very short. thought this would be more involved. well happy 10h30pm everyone im going beddy bye... wait....

ack!!! ive already promised myself!!

(scrolls through it) ACK! unmasked pre pineapple pilot jumpscare! (jk i love him) (im still not looking at this today though)

also theres a comment like "unless dexes are mass produced, from the titanic poster thats pilot right" so i was right and wrong about two separate things. right: 1. anticlimatic to show pilot & snippys face in the titanic poster instead of when actually relevant (like retelling of the Pineapple Incident) wrong: 2. theres new people reading this fr????

#sugar.txt #reading romac #thinking back to lunchtime when i said 'im using all my freetime to think about pilot' bc i saw some people drive by on bikes #and thought 'i should get a bike drivers license to beat traffic & commute' then i thought 'pilot used to drive one' #and khas thought i was talking about twenty one pilots the band #love them (khas) so so much. mwah

[thosch3i]

Hi hi! So the lost tombs and chronology all super confuse me. So tlt2 ended on a cliffhanger that was not resolved by tlt3 which is ultimate note, but now there is another tlt3 that I am guessing is made by the same studio as tlt2 (but not UN) that actually follows tlt2? And it has the same WPZ as tlt2 (but sadly different WX, ZQL though I’m sure these guys are great). You seem to know what you’re talking about so I’m hoping you can help!

UN also ended on a cliff hanger so I’m wondering if they’ll get a sequel from their studio that comes before tomb of the sea.

ahhh hello anon! yes ahaha the dmbj dramas are certainly very confusing--because they keep switching the screenwriters/entire production team between dramas. huanrui did tlt1 (2015), tlt2 (2019), and the sequel to tlt2 (2021). they're also technically the production company for un (2020), but linghe did like all the directing/casting/writing so its significantly different in tone and quality from the other dramas huanrui produced. npss (dmbj author) did sha hai (2018) and tltr (2020), with sha hai being in collab with linghe, so you can see lots of parallels with un and shared cast. (gonna add that i dont know much about the m9 because that’s not what im personally interested in, so i’m only going by stories with wu xie & the iron triangle.)

unfortunately, the dramas pretty have no continuity as a result of all the weird shit and multiple studios doing different dramas and messy stuff going on behind the scenes. the author's production company currently has all the rights back for filming future dramas, which is......imo, a good thing for book fans who love the author but a 😬 thing for book fans who like the original story more than what the author is now doing with it. I'll uh avoid saying too much opinion stuff though so no more on that 😅

that aside! yes 云顶天宫 “explore with the note” part 2......is the direct sequel to tlt2 and done by the same studio. unfortunately the writers are different and im not sure how much of the production team is the same either. idk how much you know about the novels so brief summary here--for the chinese version, the main story has 9 parts split among 8 books (though the official eng tls have each part being a different book) with some important content being as follows:

official eng title “cavern of blood zombies” (first time wx goes into a tomb, first t3j meeting)

official eng title “angry sea, hidden sands” (xisha seabed tomb, introduce a-ning)

official eng title “bronze tree of death” (bronze tree in qinling, wx & lao yang solo adventure)

official eng title “palace of doom” (heavenly palace on the clouds, introduce bronze gate)

official eng title “deadly desert winds” (golmud, introduce hei xiazi, desert, rainforest, tamutuo)

official eng title “graveyard of a queen” (the rest of that arc, wu sanxing & xie lianhuan reveal, jade meteorite, amnesiac xiaoge and escape, sanshu vanishes for good--also i think the official eng tl covers a couple chapters of the beginning of the next part too)

阴山古楼 (searching for xiaoge’s memories in banai, miluotuo cave, i think introduction of wu erbai)

邛笼石影 (auction/hotel iron triangle fight, introduce xiao hua & xiuxiu, wx & xh on the mountains alone while pz & xg go with granny huo)

finale (rescue from zhang family mansion, changbai mountain goodbye, 10 years promise)

after the main story are the main sequels:

zang hai hua (tibetan sea flower; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie a few years after xiaoge has entered the gate, searching to understand xiaoge’s past

sha hai (tomb of the sea; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie’s plan to wipe out the wang family, after zhh

chongqi (reunion: the sound of the providence) covers wu xie’s lung disease and how he recovers from that, set after they pick up xiaoge again from the bronze gate. thunder city and everything.

灯海寻尸&万山极夜 (still updating on wechat) don’t worry about this one since it’s still a WIP lol

btw between sha hai and chongqi there’s also ten years later (a short story) that covers how wu xie and pangzi pick up xiaoge from the bronze gate and take him home

the dramas Do Not Connect To Each Other At All, which the exception of tlt2 & tlt2 pt2 somewhat, but they go in this order:

盗墓笔记 / the lost tomb 1 (2015): covers part 1 but with major OCs and filler, and includes the auction scene from part 8 for some reason, so introduces xiao hua early.

怒海潜沙&秦岭神树 / the lost tomb 2 (2019) technically “explore with the note”: covers parts 2 & 3 but with major OCs and filler, introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu (and hei xiazi briefly) early. last couple episodes also cover the beginning of part 4. not a direct sequel to tlt1 despite being done by the same studio.

云顶天宫 / heavenly palace on the clouds (2021) technically also “explore with the note”: covers part 4 with major OCs and filler (and the same changes carrying over from tlt2). some episodes are identical to the last couple episodes of tlt2. works as a direct sequel only if you ignore the last couple episodes of tlt2 that take place in the snowy mountains. (those episodes of tlt2 were filmed after this drama was filmed, and im still not sure why they dragged the wu xie and xiaoge from tlt2 back to changbai mountain to film those episodes.)

终极笔记 / ultimate note (2020): covers parts 5-8 with minor OCs and minimal filler, also introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu early. the only adaptation that resembles its source material most of the time.

沙海 / tomb of the sea (2018): covers the second sequel with major OCs and filler. includes some bits from zhh and the short story “three days of silence”.

重启之极海听雷 / the lost tomb reboot (2020): covers third sequel with major OCs and filler.

in addition there is the prequel series mystic nine (2016) and side movies for the dramas that the author produced. there is also a single standalone movie--time raiders (2016) that is....well it’s. very strange. it’s fully subbed on youtube if you’re interested?

the best way to watch the dramas is to assume each one is its own self-contained AU set along different points of the dmbj timeline because even the dramas the author himself worked on don’t have continuity LOL (and with the exception of ultimate note & sha hai most of the time, also assume most characters are pretty OOC from the novels).

i uh regret to inform you though, that ultimate note will not be getting a sequel unless the author magically decides to not care about making money anymore and sells the rights to film the finale to linghe or something ^^;;;; it’s....unfortunate bc un is the most highly-rated dmbj adaptation on douban by A Lot, but it’s an adaptation that the author had literally nothing to do with whatsoever.

more information on some of the side movies/stage plays/manhua/donghua here.

summaries of the main novel stories (currently through zhh) here.

edited mtl (some of which has apparently been looked over by native cn speakers) of the novels following where official eng tls end here. (there are many scattered extras as well.)

you can get the official eng tl books/ebooks on amazon or elsewhere(?), but if you have problems purchasing them or like you just dont wanna support amazon or something, dm me off anon. (also i dont want to be mean but frankly the official tls are kinda bad too ^^;;;)

a rough timeline (spoilers galore) for the dmbj novels here. (fair warning im not 100% sure how accurate all of this is--they put three days of silence as 1991 but looking at the info in zhh, it seems like it should have been before the 1950s...but it’s more than fine as a general overview.)

anyway i hope that was helpful in some way? dmbj is a Very Confusing thing to get into ahahaha, one of my twitter mutuals has made a few carrds if you think they might be helpful: book, dramas (slightly out of date bc it says heavenly palace hasn’t aired yet), ultimate note (got its own carrd by virtue of being the only adaptation aside from sha hai sometimes that most og book fans acknowledge lol ^^;;;)

also anon if anything wasn’t clear or if you had more questions feel free to ask again sorry ahahaha im kinda tired rn @.@ 

#dmbj #shouting into the void #ask #anon #....im kinda tired bc i just finished watching ydtg so i hope that doesnt come across *too much* in this post LOL #and its probably obvious which adaptation im biased towards but after reading the novels i cant really help it

[ultimatebethylficlist]

Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021

The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!

SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.

When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:

I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)

For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:

In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs

Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces

Surfacing by lindentree

Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina

The Gift by Feliz

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun

New Experiences Series by wallflow3r

Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine

Interstice by leftmywingshome

To Love Like a Man by Seraphique

Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn

In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82

Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters

Resolved by Allatariel

the weight of these wings by peachthorns

all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes

A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet

between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel

SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:

Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.

Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82​ started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)

The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.

Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol

Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.

picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so. 

In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.

risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!

Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)

#bethyl fanfiction #veteran author of the month

[benscursedkid]

Hi! Today I found your story, and it was well written and intriguing! So if you don't mind, can you please share some writting tips?

Thanks!

hi! wow, i’ve gotta say i never expected anyone to be asking me for writing tips. i can definitely be my own worst critic at times but i’m still learning and improving all the time! but, i will try my best to give helpful tips for anyone who wants them. take them with a grain of salt though! i’m no professional! <3

1. show don’t tell

this is something all my teachers told me in school that unfortunately took me a long time to understand. you want to show the readers what you mean and what you’re talking about, you don’t just want to say it to them. for example, if you’re trying to describe the closeness or relationship between two characters, don’t just say ‘they were best friends.’ instead, let it come up in dialogue or in the narrative naturally. prove it to me. have character a mention something about character b one would only know if they’d known b for a long time or if they were particularly close. or use body language and small little ticks that show how comfortable the two characters are with each other. if it’s done right, the audience will be able to pick up on what you want them to. i promise.

2. don’t be afraid of big paragraphs

of course, you don’t want all of your story or chapter or what have you to exclusively be in big blocky paragraphs, but don’t be alarmed if you find one forming in a monologue or other occasionally. i read an analysis earlier this year about the flow of writing. to save you the boring details, it goes on to say that things sound and are perceived to be more satisfying in writing when it can be characterized by variety. when a single writing has both long-winded paragraphs as well as short, simple, to-the-point paragraphs. just do what feels right! you have gut instincts for a reason. editing is for the worrying! if it looks or feels too long or like it might be a bit of a run-on when you’re looking back at it during editing, then adjust it as you see fit but don’t be afraid of them every time they show up!

3. when in doubt...describe

this one is more of a personal preference for me, but you might notice that I start out a lot of chapters or stories or the next perspective of a story with descriptions of the characters or the environment around them. this is because I sometimes find it difficult to begin something. so my solution to that is to immediately drop the reader into the setting. let them visualize the characters, their surroundings, or the atmosphere before any monologue or conversation begins. this just helps me to establish these things without worrying about how to organically bring it up later in the middle of something important. it can also lead into the details of the scene in a pinch!

4. feel the atmosphere

this one is a bit difficult to describe, but it always helps me to put myself in a scene when I write it. consider everything that is going on at once. what’s just happened, what has to happen next, who is here, and how do they feel about it? feeling for yourself exactly what you want the reader to feel before you write can help the right words and sentences come to you if you’re having trouble with it!

5. include little details too!

this has a bit to do with knowing when is and isn’t the right time for it, but little details can really make or break a character or an atmosphere if done right! little ticks, tells, and quirks can provide insight to how a character feels and what they might be thinking when using the perspective of a separate person. it immerses the readers too!

6. do what feels right

lastly, this might seem like a given but it really is crucial! everyone has their own writing styles just like everyone has their own personalities. and even if you don’t quite know what your writing style is or what it looks like yet, don’t be afraid to explore and experiment, but as I said earlier, stick with your gut! for example: i wing about 85% of all my dialogue. the only times I don’t is when I have a conversation already pre-constructed in my head that probably came to me on the edge of sleep or while I was in the shower. but...not everyone does this. nor will everyone be comfortable writing this way. some people map out every single detail and plot point and other notes before writing, some people wing the entire thing on a spurt of determined inspiration, some people do both, some people do neither, and some people fall somewhere in between! whatever it looks like, just do what feels right and your writing will likely look much better for it.

thank you so much for your kind words!! im really glad you liked my story, I was a little worried it wouldn’t be well-received considering the mc is my own oc and not an x reader, but I’m relieved to hear that’s not the case! I really hope this was able to help you and that it made some semblance of sense!! thank you for the ask!! <3

#not hphm #me #kate chats #writing #writing tips #wow I can’t believe I got asked for writing tips #I hope these help you! #and if they do then I’m glad I could help? #if they don’t.... #:// #well then I’m sorry about that JDJFKF #how I write

[whirlybirdwhat]

Heyo~ I just wanted to say that your fanfics have inspired me to write my owns, they're so good!!

But my writing isn't nearly as good, do you have any advices for this starting writer? <3

oh my gosh anon !!!!!! im ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ !! im so glad they inspire you, and I wish you all the best on your writing!!! you got this, and please link them if/when you post!!!! 👀👀👀

as for advice - i got a few things!

first off, your writing is yours, and - especially in fic - there isn't necessarily a type of 'good' writing, just different skill sets! for instance, i find that my weak point is dialogue, while im great at worldbuilding + emotions. another writer might be the opposite, but it doesn't mean my writing is 'bad' and theirs is 'good' or the reverse, simply that we have different strengths! as you grow as a writer, you will find your strengths and learn to grow them, and your weak points! there is truly no standard, so don't put yourself down!!

moving on to more advice however - (EDIT: theres a tldr at the bottom because sorry, i rambled a bit!!)

1. write. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter how! I have written fics on sticky notes in the middle of class (whiskey peak chapter of esom) on discord in the span of a few hours (make a choice (turncoat hero)) and in my notes apps (the ace/yamato fic i posted)!! if you learn to write anywhere you please, this will keep ideas from leaving your mind, and allow you to get into the zone that there doesn't have to be a set time to write!

2. length never matters for a fic. If 100 words is all it takes to write what you want to write, then 100 words is all it takes! don't let the general adoration for long fics to scare you off from writing, and write what you're comfortable with. I know writers who only write chapter fics, and writers who will only write one shots (then there's me, who tries to do both at once lol.)

3. when i am lost with the plot of a fic, the first thing i do is draft an outline of what i want to happen next. this is just a simple bullet point outline, in the general fashion of, say

- luffy gets a different hat post pirate king

- monkey steals hat

- luffy calls for zoro

- zoro sleeping?? sanji kicks him then fight

- the monkey is revealed as the red haired pirates monkey

- shanks shows up "miss me anchor?" party time

brief, follows a simple set of actions, perhaps one or two lines that i thought of while writing, and gives me a skeleton to follow so that when i lose myself in a fic i know where i can go next. Some people find it useful to do this at the beginning with a super detailed plot, and others never write a outline at all! it depends again on how you grow as a writer, so don't be afraid to try different things out when you approach a fic

4. stuck on a part? writer block? can't focus? get up drink a glass of water, and get back to writing! i find this helps me get refocused on writing when i am stuck, a little body 'wake up' as you will.

5. never EVER delete a scene from a fic. never. NEVER. move that scene to another doc, put it in a 'scrapped writing' folder, idc, but never delete it entirely. it helps you grow as a writer, and you can always put the scene back/reword it, etc. i cannot count on my hands how many times i have reworked a previously scrapped portion of a fic and came out the better for it!

6. having multiple wips is okay!! celebrate it even!! i always have at least five docs for five separate fics up on my computer at all times so i can shuffle between them when writing and write what im inspire for in that moment. its okay if you never make headway on one of them, as long as the ideas keep flowing

7. want to get something out quick? word wars are your friend - set a timer for 15 minutes, and write as many words as you can. this is especially fun if you have someone doing it with you, so you can compare counts at the end and share your story!!

8. writing, like all art, takes time. and, generally, there is a chance you will write faster when you first set out to write then you will later, because later, you will be more conscious of your word choices and be more deliberate and careful in your plot, rather than just churning out works. It's okay if you don't churn out 5k a day - writing is not an obligation!

9. have. fun. im serious! write what you want to write, even if it seems no one will love it or like it or want to read it - write what brings you joy, what makes you smile, even if it's something that's been done a thousand times before!! this is what fic is, for your own personal enjoyment. Additionally, do not be discouraged if there's a low amount of reviews for something you put your heart and soul. it sucks ass, yes, (i have a couple fics i love which have only gotten like, a quarter of attention of some of my other fics) but ultimately, the idea you wrote down is one you want to see in the world!! it doesn't quite matter what anyone else likes.

10. grammarly, word counter, word, etc - anything with a spellcheck is your best friend, and will generally catch things you miss if you cant find someone to proofread for you. additionally, if you want to be more critical of your fic, look for friends tto give constructive critcism, but know that you absolutely do not have to accept it from any stranger online unless you asked specifically for it.

11. fanon is fanon and popular headcanons are popular headcanons and both are absolutely not canon. you do NOT have to follow it if you do not want to.

12. read!!! i read a lot of fic, a lot of published books, and each has something i really enjoy and apply to my own fics.

13. to reiterate again just... write. write and write and write. i have over 300k posted to ao3 rn, and more in my docs. you will not improve your writing to any standard that you set for yourself unless you write!! always practice!! learn from your mistakes!! grow!!! you will improve with time, i promise, just go out and write what makes you happy anon!!

tl;dr have fun, write a lot wherever and whenever, and write for yourself before anyone else. you will improve with time as a writer the more you practice, and it doesn't ever matter how long your work is.

if you want more specific advice on formatting fic/general rules/ your first time posting, feel free to send another ask!! but for now, i wish you the best of luck anon and a very 👀👀👀👀 at your future fics!!!

#that was #so much rambling i am sorry but i do hope its helpful!! #whirlywhat #whirlyanswers #advice #writing #fic writing advice #fic advice

[wntersfire]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG GAME

Before I start I would just like to say (tw alcohol for now and question 19) sorry for any spelling mistakes or if I ramble a little. To cut a long fuckin story short I mis read the measurements of my shot glasses and so instead of having two cocktails I’ve had the equivalent of four in the space of an hour and a half. Being british, im not gonna let a good drink go to waste either so im onto my third/sixth now.

Tagged by @clints-lucky-arrow (an actual goddess among us mortals)

1. Why did you choose your URL?

So this reason is two-fold. One, I didn’t watch star wars growing up because I was dumb and didn’t understand the politics (it wasn’t until my boyfriend sat me down and explained it literally in January of this year that I actually got it) but I loved Sci-fi and space so the next best thing was Treasure Planet (2003 film, Available on didney+) My favourite scene is the ending when Long John Silver (spoilers) is about leave before he can be arrested and Jim confronts him. Seeing how much his character has grown, Silver says to Jim, “Look at you, glowing like a silver fire. You’re something special, Jim. You’re gonna rattle the stars, you are.” It literally makes me tear up every single time I watch it and its one of my favourite lines of all time. Second, this was actually quoted in one of my favourite book series ‘Throne of glass’ by Sarah J Maas. I adore the character of Celeana and again one of my favourite quotes from TOG is when Queen Elena says to Celeana“ You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if only you dared.” Every time I read that line I literally get chills and I actually have plans to get this tattooed on me lmao

2. Any side blogs?

Yes my fanfic blog @second-stars-totheright (I like puns and I used to love peter pan)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I joined when I was 13 for the fanfiction and lurked for a very long time, just reblogging and liking things until I deleted it when I was 17. Re downloaded the app and got my account back back around February of this year (when I was 19, now 20) and since then I’ve found it much friendlier and actually interacted with people this time around, and actually started posting my work on here!

4. Do you have a queueue tag?

No. This is my general postings blog so I just kind of stick anything funny or worth keeping here, but I probably should make one!

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

As I said to read fanfiction (anyone wondering it was 5 seconds of summer fanfiction. Anyone who judges me in the comments its fair game 🥺) but I re-downloaded it this year because I noticed with my work on Wattpad, while I had some do really well (one has gotten 130k+ views) its very difficult to actually interact with readers and get feedback. I’ve only accumulated that high of a number after 5 years of it being on there, and so tumblr is just so much more personal!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I did it this morning as I was getting tagged in this lmao. I wanted a cartoon girl who looked like me but because I had a specific colouring (ie my hair is black with a blonde streak at the front & my eyes have both blue and green segments because I have heterochromia) I couldn’t find any that looked like me so I recoloured a cartoon girl I found on pinterest.

7. Why did you choose you header?

The white clouds fit the stars theme and it looks pretty with the purple. ✨💜

8. Whats your post with the most notes?

“That girl is a problem | Javier Pena x Agent!Reader part 1” with 105 notes on my fanfic blog.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I am still a little tumblr idiot when it comes to this so if someone could tell me how to find out I'll edit this

10. How many followers do you have?

72 on here, 107 on my fanfic blog (AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU ACROSS BOTH OF THEM MWAH, MWAH KISSES FOR YOU ALL 💜💜💜)

11. How many people do you follow?

165 (it was 700+ but the other day I unfollowed a bunch of accounts that haven’t been active since I followed them when I was 13. There were LOTS)

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I mean all you have to do is look at the Nomad memes I make (UNAPOLOGETICALLY I might add 😤) for @clints-lucky-arrow to know I absolutely have. That series has a hold over me im telling you. I black out when I start reading and I awake with a bunch of meme editing apps open and my feelings tugged at from her amazing writing.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

If I’m with my boyfriend which is like two days a week, rarely, but now I’ve finished uni, I’m on here all the god damn time. I feel so comfy and safe interacting with you all, not to mention some of you guys are funny as hell.

14. Did you have a fight with a blog once?

Not really on here, I haven’t received any hate luckily but I prefer not to spoil how comfy I am here with arguing.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to re-blog this’ posts?

I’m a little confused by this I dunno whether I’ve just never come across any like this or if Stars is being a bimbo on the tl again. However, I only reblog things I’d like to keep for future reference or if something deserves to be shared to everyone else like a fic rec or a piece of art. (As Mack said, I’ve re-blogged so many in the past promising me money or luck and I am still broke as shit so what does that tell you).

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes!! I love reading everyone elses and getting to know my mutals better!

17. Do you like ask games?

Again yesss because it means I get to send love to my mutuals and get to know them better! I tend to not participate though just read their responses because I sometimes feel like I’m bugging people clogging their inboxes even though I know that’s the point idk I’m a hell of an over thinker sometimes 🥳

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

It’s been said before but @clints-lucky-arrow (wow you rlly owning this post bby girl) but I just remember lurking on Nomad early February and liking and reblogging her chapters so I could keep them to re-read cause that’s how much I instantly loved it and when she followed me I realised who she was and lowkey had a starstruck moment bcus id been ciaght up in her work for weeks and too nervous to make contact. Also @arduadastra, I saw her work all over the pedro tags for so long and now I’ve gotten to know her she is the sweetest girl!! We usually fan over Javier Pena gifs together, she’s solely responsible for ‘That girl is a problem’ bcus of her gif sending at 1am giving me Javi thots and now it’s my most successful one on my blog. And most recently @pedrosgirlx followed me this morning and her work is genuinely some of the best I've seen on here, as I said this morning it is the Sistine Chapel ceiling of Mando art it is actually jaw dropping!! I cant believe all these creators are rlly giving us this content for free and yet being so talented AND the nicest people I’ve ever met!!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No, although I hold a lot of them dearly as friends. 15/10 would treat you lovelies to a drink of your choice if we ever met (any of you from the uk who drink I’d get you a pitcher from Whetherspoons)

20. Absolutely no pressure tags:

anyone who wants to join! a lot of people I would have tagged have already posted theirs so go for it if you like the look of it!

[samanthadalton]

Star crossed lovers (au) part 4

pairings: poppy x mc (bea)

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

in this chapter specifically there are mentions of guns too 

reader discretion is advised

taglist: @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @cloud9in @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @rxssians @helpconfusedpersonhere @dopeyouth 

(i just wanted to thank you guys for your patience with this fic because i know im not the most consistent with my posting so thank you for reading, also i’ll fix any errors later on) 

word count: 4.9k 

part 1: part 2:  part 3:  

Never bring a knife to a gun fight

Rumours of Poppy’s outburst at volleyball practice began to spread like wildfire, students all around Belvoire gossiped about the intentions behind the strawberry blonde’s confrontation. 

Some of the stories fabricated insinuated that Bea threatened Poppy to counter her friends’ behaviour, while others believed that Poppy was simply doing some charity work by helping Belvoire’s least fortunate. Not one of the rumours came close to the truth, that the girls were just simply in love. 

Saturday rolls over quickly and Poppy’s in her bedroom with Veronica sprawled out on her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest, while Poppy lays on the other side of her. Chloe however,  awkwardly sits on the edge of the bed, ostensibly feeling apprehensive about being in the same room as Poppy as she reels in from her last one on one confrontation with the strawberry blonde. 

The two girls laying down, engage in idle chit chat until they’re pulled out of their conversation when the dumb blonde lets out a small cough capturing their attention. 

“So.. are you sure you can’t ditch your dinner plans and come to the party?” She anxiously places some of her hair behind her ear, as she meets Poppy’s gaze but the blue-eyed girl holds the eye contact, determined to mitigate some of the awkwardness from the room since she’s barely spoken more than 10 words to the strawberry blonde since Thursday. 

Poppy and Veronica share a look, the unspoken words covertly communicating their plan to go to the party in the south, but the two girls remain silent, avoiding the question. Chloe stares at the two girls, oblivious to what the shared look actually means, and when her question remains unanswered she opens her mouth to ask again until Poppy clears her throat slightly and sighs, “I told you Chlo, it’s a work dinner, we don’t have a choice, our parents are forcing us to be there.”

“Yeah but you could I dont know, speak to your dad? I’m sure he would understand”

‘I’m a Min Sinclair, I can’t pick and choose what dinners I can and can’t go to, it doesn’t work like that,” Poppy adds a bit of sterness to her tone hoping the dumb blonde would get the point and leave it alone but Chloe’s infuriating relentlessness compels her to keep cracking down on the strawberry blonde, inclined to make her change her mind. She drags her body from the edge of the bed to the middle, and perches herself on her knees as she faces the two girls, “the party won’t be as fun without you guys there”. 

Poppy lips move to an imperceptible frown as her mind and heart begin to battle over whose party she should go to tonight. While she promised Bea she would go to the party tonight, Chloe was acting suspiciously clingy and things between the two girls were still fragile. Warily watching the strawberry blonde lost in speculation, Veronica intercepts before Poppy can come up with an answer, “have you met her dad Chloe? There’s no way Mr Min Sinclair will let us miss the dinner for a party, don’t be stupid” 

Veronica’s cutthroat tone is enough for the dumb blonde to stop pushing and she purses her lips in retort. Veronica almost feels bad so she adds, “but I agree, the party is gonna be dead without the two of us there” she smiles and slightly nudges Poppy with her shoulder hoping to alleviate some of the awkwardness. However to her dismay, the atmosphere slips back to being awkward and the girls reside in the uncomfortable silence that follows until Poppy’s phone begins to chirp with messages. She apprehensively picks up her phone but can’t help the smile on her face when she sees Bea’s name pop up on her screen.

B 💖

Hey beautiful, can’t wait to see you at the party tonight 

Zoey’s looking forward to seeing Veronica tonight but don’t tell her I told you that otherwise she’ll kill me 

Also can’t wait to see what you’re gonna wear tonight 👀🥵

After reading the series of texts from Bea, Poppy’s practically grinning like a Cheshire cat as she types out her response, her attention shifts solely focusing on the brunette and she mentally reprimands herself for doubting which party she should go to, since the choice is undoubtedly clear. 

Past memories of her going to parties with Bea surges through her mind and she revels in the memory of her first ever southside party. She recollects how nervous Bea was as the 15 year old girls made their way to the drinks table and Bea accidentally spilled her drink on Poppy’s top, after having a couple of beers beforehand, and Poppy teased what a lightweight she was. Bea’s face practically reddened with embarrassment as she offered her girlfriend to wear her hoodie to cover the drink stain, while she walked around the party in her tank top and caught a cold the next day. It was the small moments like that that made Poppy appreciative of Bea’s kindness and thoughtfulness and reminded the strawberry blonde exactly why she loves her. While reminiscing about the past, Poppy’s practically pulled from her thoughts when Chloe taps her leg, frowning. 

‘Who are you uh talking to Poppy?” 

Poppy visibly stiffens and turns off her phone, her mouth begins to feel dry as her brain goes into overdrive trying to come up with an authentic lie. “Just uhh going through my insta dms, the amount of creativity these creeps have is hilarious” 

Chloe gawks at Poppy, not entirely convinced but she nods in response, not wanting to press the matter further. Veronica quickly sits up, a soft gasp leaving her lips as she stares at the time on her phone, “Crap, I gotta go and edit my video so I can upload it tonight”, she gets up to grab her bag and Chloe uses the opportunity to leave with Veronica as she knows that her and Poppy are yet to still be on normal speaking terms. After a few goodbye hugs and a promise from Veronica that she’ll see the strawberry blonde tonight, Poppy walks them down to the front door and watches the girls leave. 

Just as she’s about to head about to her room, a voice booms out from the living room, Poppy freezes mid-step on the stairs and internally sighs, ‘crap’ she thinks to herself, her dad’s home. 

“Poppy, come over here for a second”, Poppy mentally braces herself and holds her head up high, keeps her posture straight and walks into the living room to see her father sitting on his favourite chair and a stack of documents on the table beside him. 

“Hi daddy”, she places a sweet kiss on his cheek and he makes a gesture for her to sit opposite him on the sofa. He places his hand on the frame of his glasses and takes it off and begins rubbing at the glass with the hem of his shirt before placing it back on his face. 

“I feel like I’ve barely seen you this week princess, how was your first week as a senior?” 

Poppy usually gets nervous when speaking with her father about any aspect of her life really, because he isn’t always the most affectionate or warming person. She purses her lips together in thought before answering, “It was good daddy, I’m in a lot of the AP classes so I’ve been making sure I stay on track for what’s expected for the classes”. 

Her father beams at her response and slaps his hand against his knee, “that’s my girl”, but his expression quickly sobers as he fixates his gaze on the blonde, “so, you didn’t run into any problems this week?” His tone is almost intimidating and suggestive as Poppy subtly sinks into the sofa a little, her thoughts beginning to run wild as she struggles to grasp at her father’s implication.

“Uh no, not really dad” 

“Huh, I heard that friend of yours, Chloe? She had a fight with that Hughes girl on the first day back. You wouldn’t be foolish enough to indulge in something so trivial would you now?” 

Poppy clings to the edge of the sofa with a deathly drip, knuckles turning white at the mention of Bea but she lifts her body slightly in an attempt to show her father she isn’t fazed by her name and clears her throat slightly, “no dad, Chloe thought it would be a funny joke but I ended up getting detention for just being in the courtyard.” She begins to shake her head a little, “I would never involve myself in something so ludacris” she exaggeratingly rolls her eyes and fidgets with her perfectly manicured nails, soliciting her lack of interest in the topic. 

Her father gleams at her with a hint of satisfaction, and curtly nods his head at her before swiftly changing the subject. “Rita, tells me you’re planning to go to a party tonight?” 

“Umm, yeah, just a celebration party at Ford’s house, his parents know about it and- ” 

Hayden Min Sinclair raises his hand in the air and the words die out of Poppy’s mouth as she awaits for her dad to speak, “just be safe, and make sure you’re home before 12, just call Carter if you find yourself in need of a ride home”. Of course, Mr Min Sinclair would never offer to pick up his daughter himself, he knows that his daughter should be less dependent on him and should be able to fare for herself. Poppy briskly nods and moves to stand, “Well daddy, I should let you get back to your work”, she gives him a polite smile and moves towards her room, letting out a huge exhale as she closes her bedroom door. She hates hiding things from her father, but he makes it impossible for her to confide in him at all, it’s times like these where she wishes her mother was still here. 

……

Bea spends her afternoon alone after dropping her sister off at her friend’s house for the weekend and worries about her mom being AWOL and has concerns when she doesn’t pick up her phone. It isn’t until the late afternoon her mom casually strolls through the front door, her makeup has practically vanished, with only a few remnants of it smudged across her face. She moves towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water until Bea’s stomps towards the kitchen with a scowl etched onto her face as she pulls Isabella away from the sink to face her. 

“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been calling and texting non-stop” Bea raises her voice and points accusatively at her mother who in response blanky rolls her eyes at Bea and moves towards the cupboards scrounging for some food. Bea’s blood begins to boil as she balls her hands up into fists, her knuckles turning white, she pushes her mom against the counter and lifts her face up to look into her eyes, “You’re fucking high aren’t you?”. She takes in her mom’s features, seeing her incredibly red eyes and her chapped lips, and her slightly slanted demeanour. 

“Get the fuck off me” Isabella pushes Bea away from her, “last I remembered I’m the fucking parent here” 

“Then act like it!” Bea screams at the top of her lungs, her breaths heavy, her tone enraged as she stares down at her mother, “I have better things to do than to worry about where you are or whether you’re laying dead in a ditch somewhere” 

Isabella just places her hands on her head, trying to dull the noise sprouting from Bea’s mouth, “God, you’re hurting my head” she sniffles and simply grabs a packet of chips from the cupboard and a bottle of vodka from under the sink and retreats to her room without saying another word. 

Bea chest heaves heavily, she has no idea what to do about her mother, sometimes she wishes that she wasn’t there, then maybe she would have less to worry about. She could be a normal teenager with normal problems, instead of constantly babying her mother and being a second mom to her sister, but she remembers that she should be lucky to have a mom, no matter how shitty she might be. Her phone in her pocket buzzes and she grimaces a little when she sees the text from Poppy

P💋

hey babe 

V and I decided to go to Ford’s party just for a little bit 

Just to make a few quick introductions but we’ll be in and out of the party 

Can’t wait to see you 🥺

Bea feels a tiny pang in her heart but at least Poppy wasn’t going to completely ditch her for the night. She hoped that tonight would be just about them, that for once Poppy would let go off all expectations and just focus on herself. But Bea knew Poppy carried the world on her shoulders, that being a Min Sinclair meant that she had to sacrifice a lot, but sometimes Bea felt like she was the only thing being sacrificed, that she was the only thing that could easily be cut off. She types out a half-hearted reply to Poppy, something along the lines of ‘can’t wait to see you too’ and with that she grabs her jacket, turns around to catch a quick glance at her mother’s closed bedroom door and leaves for the party. 

……

Poppy and Veronica are walking towards Ford’s house, the faint thumping of bass music echoes throughout the neighbourhood while the girls are fixated on their hair and outfits as they walk towards the front yard. Both of the girls are wearing smart suits, to make their lie about going to a company dinner more compelling. They leave their real party outfits in the back of Veronica’s car which is parked a couple of blocks away from the house and before they enter the house Poppy grabs Veronica’s hand. 

“I told Bea that we will be in and out of the house, so let’s not waste any time. We just say a few hellos and then we go” she flips her hair throwing it back over her shoulder while Veronica rolls her eyes. 

“Hey you’re the one who decided to stop by Ford’s party, I would rather be in the southside partying it up there.” 

Poppy piercingly shushes Veronica, and in one swift move places her hand over the ombre-haired girl’s mouth, “Are you trying to expose us or something? Don’t mention the” she conspicuously u looks around and whispers, “don’t mention the southside here” 

Veronica pulls Poppy’s hand from her mouth and exaggeratingly shudders while shaking her hands, “Oh no, I forgot the southside is like Voldemort we don’t speak of it” sarcasm dripping off every word she says. 

Before Poppy can answer, a series of screams reverberates from inside the house and a few seconds later, Poppy and Veronica are engulfed in a huge bear hug from Chloe, “Oh my god, you guys made it”, she screams enthusiastically while jumping up and down in her spot clapping her hands together. 

Veronica sticks her fingers in her ears are glares at Chloe, “chill Chloe, you’re gonna burst my eardrums” 

Poppy laughs and playfully slaps Veronica on the arm and turns back to face the dumb blonde, “We’re just passing by, just because we have to go to a stuffy work dinner doesn’t mean we have to show up on time” 

Chloe grabs the two girls by the arms and pulls them into the foyer where they’re greeted by more of their peers. Ford is already half naked with a red solo cup in his hand and he waves the girls over before offering them a drink which the two girls politely decline. 

“Oh come on, one drink won’t kill you” 

“We said we’re good” Veronica’s tone is cutthroat causing Ford to back off and resume his strip pong game. 

“Ayyyyyy there are my two favourite girls” Carter slurs his words slightly and slinks an arm over each girl’s shoulders and migrates the girl’s to the back of the living room where the speakers are playing. “I thought Chloe said you guys aren’t coming? You change your mind Pops?” he flirtatiously raises an eyebrow at Poppy who playfully pushes him back in return. 

“No we still have to go to the dinner” she gestures at her suit, “we just wanted to say hi real quick” 

Chloe ambles towards the girl’s and grabs Veronica’s hand and pulls her to the dance floor without waiting for the ombre-haired girl to refuse, leaving Poppy and Carter alone. 

“So… do you really have to go? I mean you could have a lot more fun if you stayed” he takes a careful step towards the strawberry blonde, closing the distance between the two as he leans in to whisper in her ear, “we could play strip pong”, he leans back a little to stare into Poppy’s eyes. 

Poppy lets out a small awkward laugh, “um, as much fun as that sounds, Veronica and I really should get going. I don’t wanna piss off my dad” she takes a step back from the quarterback and wraps her arms around herself.  

Carter gives Poppy a long unwavering look, one she fully couldn’t dissect and understand, but he breaks the silence, “well, I hope you have fun, Chloe was worried you were ditching us for someone else” 

“Yeah, my dad’s business partners. Because work talk is absolutely riveting and exactly how I wanna spend my saturday nights” her voice brimming with sarcasm as she gives Carter a quick hug goodbye and grabs Veronica and pulls her out of the house after making a few more rounds with the rest of the students of Belvoire. 

…….

“This is a party, loosen up a little” Zoey rolls her eyes and hands Bea a red plastic cup, before taking a small sip from hers, “don’t tell me the princess of Greensburg decided to not show up” 

Bea lighthearted rolls her eyes and takes a huge swig of her cup, “she said she’s coming, okay? She’s just saying a quick hi to her friends” 

“Yeah sure, because she would rather hang out with the people at the bottom of the food chain than preppy rich kids who can probably afford a better sound system and drinks than this” 

“Oh hush, you’re just in a sour mood because Veronica isn’t here yet” Zoey pinches Bea on her arm, “ow ow, okay, it doesn’t make it any less true though. I mean you practically begged me to invite her” 

“Shut up. I don’t care if she’s here or not. But let's just say I’ve been doing a lot of wishful thinking and I’m wearing my best bra tonight” she gives Bea a sly wink who just laughs. “So,, I still can’t believe you let Poppy off that easily after the shit that happened on monday” 

Bea stiffens a little, her expression quickly sobering as she turns to face Zoey, “look, we spoke about it and we’re moving past it. I told her she isn’t exactly out of the dog house but I’m not gonna sit here and wallow about it. What’s done is done” she gives Zoey a fixed look, meaning that she was done talking about it and Zoey raises her hands in defence

“Maybe if you let me beat Chloe’s ass then I would let Poppy off” Bea playfully shoves Zoey with her shoulder, “only if I can join you”, the two girls laugh until Zoey catches Bea staring into the inside of her cup, her eyes barren. “Hey, I’m sorry for bringing it up. It just pisses me off that those entitled bitches think they can do shit like that” 

Bea solemnly shakes her head, “well, it’s Isabella’s fault to be honest. Everywhere I go, it’s like I’m haunted by her past and all the shit she’s done. Like they all expect me to become a deadbeat like her” 

Zoey empathetically rubs Bea’s back, as the brunette clenches her jaw slightly to stop her lips from quivering, and she blinks back the tears forming in her eyes before letting out a sad laugh, “God, you just told me to lighten up and I just made this entire atmosphere depressing” 

“Bitch, who cares? You’re my best friend, you know you can talk to me about anything, anytime” she gives Bea a one armed hug while balancing her drink and when the hug breaks off she drains the rest of her cup. “Do you want another drink?” Bea shakes her head and Zoey flounces off to grab another drink. Bea bops her head along to the music until a pair of hands cover her eyes from behind her, and a soft voice whispers in her ear, “guess who?” 

Bea grins and delicately removes the hands from her eyes and turns around to see Poppy in her skin tight pink dress and moves in to give a long lingering kiss. “You finally made it” she kisses the strawberry blonde again before realising Veronica is standing behind Poppy with her arms crossed waiting as her eyes move to scan the backyard. “Hey Veronica, if you’re looking for Zoey she went inside a few minutes ago to get a drink” Veronica nonchalantly raises an eyebrow and looks towards the house, “well, I’m suddenly feeling parched, I’ll see you girls later” she gives them a wink and struts towards the house. 

Poppy laughs while shaking her head but stops when she sees Bea appraising her, looking at her up and down with lust in her eyes. Poppy gives Bea her signature smirk and does a small twirl for the brunette, “so you like what you see?” 

Bea moves towards the girl, hugging her curves while staring into the blonde’s eyes with undisguised desire, “mmhmm, you look gorgeous”, she nods towards the group of people who are dancing along to the music, “dance with me?” 

Poppy grabs Bea’s hand and manoeuvres her to the middle of the makeshift dance floor and the girls laugh, drink and dance for a couple of songs until Bea whispers into Poppy’s ear, “let’s get out of here” 

She takes the blonde’s hand and moves towards the inside of the house and they stumble towards the bedrooms, and when they open the first door they simultaneously gasp when they see Veronica and Zoey making out on the bed, both girls half naked. 

“Oh my god Bea get out” Zoey throws a pillow towards the door and in response Bea throws her head back laughing, “sorry, sorry, but the bra is kinda cute Zo”. Zoey gives Bea the finger as they leave the room and eventually, they find an empty bedroom and are already locked in a passionate embrace before the door even closes. 

Bea roughly shoves Poppy against the door pressing her lips to Poppy’s, devouring her as her tongue slips into the blonde’s as her moans set the brunette alight. Bea caresses her tongue with Poppy’s and breaks the kiss to start kissing down her neck and then her jawline until she reaches the sensitive spot behind her ear and begins to suck at it. A moan escapes Poppy’s lips as her hands wrapped around the taller girl’s neck as her eyes roll back begging for more. 

Bea pulls back and the two girls begin shredding off their clothes before jumping into the strangers bed, their lips locked once again, reigniting the very same passion. Bea sits up and leads Poppy onto her lap, she grabs the blonde’s hips and presses her down onto her thigh before whispering into her ear, “ride” and without missing a beat, Poppy does. She unrelentlessly presses her sensitive spot down on Bea’s thigh and rocks her hips, as she buries her face into the crook of Bea’s neck, muffling her moans. Bea feels the heat emitting from the blonde’s legs and lets out a groan as her hands grip Poppy’s hips even more and she begins alternating between kissing and sucking at the blonde’s chest. 

“Please Bea” Poppy’s breaths come in hot and heavy as she begs for release, so Bea decides to give into the desire and flips the blonde over, pressing her deeper into the mattress while her fingers play with the waistband of her panties. She slips her hand inside and uses her thumb to encircle her clit, before slipping a finger inside her, and she begins pumping. Poppy’s back arches off the bed, groans echoing in the room as Bea slips another finger in, letting the blonde’s moans guide her as she brings the girl to the edge and lets her ride in the orgasm not stopping until she slumps back into the bed. 

…. 

A little while later the girls get dressed and make their way back to the party where they see Zoey and Veronica in the corner whispering sweet nothings to each other and giggling. “They should just date already don’t you think?” Poppy leans on Bea’s shoulder, humming peacefully as she looks at the two girls. 

“They should but they won’t. They’re both terrible with commitment”, Bea places a sweet kiss on Poppy’s forehead, “drink?” 

“Yes please” 

Bea squeezes Poppy’s hand and strolls into the house to grab the drinks. While waiting for Bea, Poppy stands in the front yard staring up at the sky until a unfamiliar hand, cups her ass and whispers into her ear, “what’s a girl like you doing alone here”, Poppy jerks away form the stranger, her nostrils flaring as she gives the guy a deathly stare. 

“Don’t fucking touch me” 

“Wow, I like my girls rowdy” he tries to touch a stray piece of the blonde’s hair that sticks out but she grabs his wrist and pushes him back, her eyes scanning the front yard hoping Bea will be back. 

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?” AJ sidles up to Poppy as he begins to stare down the young man who just demeaningly laughs in AJ’s face. 

“Get outta here kid, can’t you see I’m talking to someone” 

“Well she has a girlfriend so get lost”. The stranger stares at Poppy, an unsettling glint in his eyes before he steps forward and puts two of his fingers under Poppy’s chin lifting her face a little, “so you’re a lesbo? Well we can change that”. Before Poppy can step back AJ shoves the boy back who in retort takes out a knife holding it out against AJ. “fuck off now”. 

After catching up with a few friends, Bea hears about a commotion in the front yard and rushes out to see AJ barricading Poppy with his body while someone holds out a knife to his chest. Poppy’s eyes flash when she realises Bea is here and Bea moves behind the figure and takes out a small pocket knife from her jeans and lightly presses it against the stranger’s neck. Poppy lets out a small gasp, her body trembles slightly as she takes in the fact that Bea is holding a knife. 

“I don’t know who the fuck you are but you better back the fuck off right now unless you want to get your throat slit” her voice is quiet but her tone is challenging. The stranger raises his hands in the air and Bea warily puts the knife down, avoiding any eye contact with Poppy. In a swift move, the stranger throws Bea’s knife out of her hand, puts her in a headlock and presses the knife against her throat, creating a small cut as blood lightly begins to trickle down her neck. 

“No!” Poppy moves forward but AJ steps in front of her and in a flash he grabs an object from the waistband of trousers and holds it up to the stranger. Everyone in the front yard begins to panic and move out of the way as they all segregate themselves from the confrontation.

“AJ stop” Bea pleads with the young boy when she realises he has a gun in his hand as he points it to the stranger. 

“Move away from her now or I’ll shoot” his voice trembles slightly as his hand shakes but he grips the gun tighter as his gaze pierces into the stranger. 

“You won’t do it” he presses his knife into Bea’s throat a little more, who just winces at the pain while Poppy painfully watches the ordeal unfold, her heart hammering into her eardrums. 

AJ places his hand on the trigger, his stance unwavering, “try me”. The stranger grimaces at AJ before removing his knife and pushing Bea forward, “you better watch your back kid” and with that he runs from the party. Poppy moves towards Bea, her hand cups the part of Bea’s neck with the cut and she turns to look at AJ, whose eyes are blank like he’s just seen a ghost. 

“AJ, I-” Bea steps towards AJ who just looks at Bea with grief and embarrassment, “I’m sorry Bea” he puts the gun back in his waistband and runs off without looking back. 

“What the fuck, Bea are you okay?” Poppy begins to examine the wound but Bea’s thoughts are enveloped in everything that just happened, her body trembles slightly as she takes in the fact that AJ now has a gun. In the background of the commotion, the fireworks are set off, colouring the sky in an array of colours but the girls can barely focus on them since they knew they were in deep shit.

read part 5 here

#playchoices #queen b #poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc #star crossed lovers