#i mean i assume this is an autism thing but i also have adhd so maybe its a combo of both

[muscadevil]

One thing I find interesting about being autistic is that my communication struggles, quietness, etc aren’t because my brain is slower and I don’t have much going on inside. I feel like my brain is constantly set to hyperspeed. Every one thought turns into a train of hundreds of thoughts all blended together and shooting off one after the other. All the time. And it never stops. I struggle with being able to filter those thoughts and cull information before it leaves my brain, not to mention how my brain thinks so much faster than I can speak.

Being so constantly overwhelmed with thoughts, and having to make a conscious effort to ensure only the thoughts that matter come out in a way that’s coherent and doesn’t confuse the listener, is hard enough. It’s even harder when as I’m already using so much brainpower processing that, I also have to think about stuff like - am I making enough eye contact? Is my tone right? Am I using body language properly? Is my expression appropriate?

Therefore, communication is overwhelming. Which is why when I have the choice, I choose letting my thoughts rattle around in my brain as much as they want over trying to get them out.

#autism #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #asd #i mean i assume this is an autism thing but i also have adhd so maybe its a combo of both #or something idek #all I know is something AINT NORMAL

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

#adhd #add #autism

[lizthewriter]

Hi! I love your fan fictions! I was wondering (First time requesting ever) if you could do a FIC for Mattheo or Theodore based on exile and the readers dealing with self hate,anxiety, autsim, adhd, Depression, and they feel so alone and push him away because the readers scared to accept her feelings and afraid she’ll get left, and no one loves or cares about her?

AUTHOR'S NOTE Oh my God, thank you so much for sending in a request! This is actually the first request I have ever received, so this is a first for us both! By exile, I'm assuming you mean the song exile by Taylor Swift. Here's a little blurb just for you anon! And thank you for the compliment, I'm glad you love my fanfics! Sending love and good vibes your way

Honestly, I tried my best with this. I've gone through depression and self-hate, and I am currently dealing with anxiety and ADHD. I don't know too much about autism, but I really tried my hardest to convey what you've requested. I hope this is satisfactory!

exile / mattheo riddle

PAIRING Mattheo Riddle x fem!Reader

SUMMARY Everything in your life feels like it's going wrong and there's nothing you can do to change it. What once brought you joy only leaves you numb. What once excited you now only bored you. What you loved only saw you as a friend.

Taking shelter in an empty classroom during a panic attack, Mattheo Riddle finds you a sobbing mess on the stone floors. You find out that he likes you more than you think he does.

TAGS Mattheo Riddle x fem!Reader, angst, hurt/comfort, self-hate, depression, anxiety, stress, ADHD, autism, exams, panic attack, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, fluff, happy ending, kissing

"All this time, / we always walked a very thin line, / you didn't even hear me out," - exile, Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver

WORD COUNT 2.0K

WRITTEN 23.08.2023

pt. 2 here, karma

You sat in Transfiguration, leg bouncing nervously as you stared down at the test questions. You have always been a terrible test-taker - all the pressure of having to get good marks in such a limited time period and all this weight on your shoulders with the upcoming NEWT's made you more than nervous. Your brows were furrowed in both concentration and confusion. As you were gnawing on the end of your quill, McGonagall announced that it was time for you to place your quills down and pack your things. You let out a shaky sigh, placing down your quill. How could you not answer a simple question? Everyone else seemed to be finding the material easy, why couldn't you? You sat there, beating yourself up as you quickly packed your things away and left class.

You left Transfiguration by yourself and headed back to your dorm. Not only were you doing poorly in your classes, you also happened to be insanely in love with someone in your year. And, of course, you had to fall in love with the most unavailable person. Not only was he not interested in girls, he would never be interested in someone like you. I mean, why would he? What made you so special? And he has referred to you as a mate on so many occasions that if you had a nickel for every one, you'd surely be drowning in an ocean of them. Oh, and not only that, but you didn't really have friends. Most of the people you knew were dating and had at least one best friend. But you? No, you may know a variety of people but you couldn't call any of them a good friend, even. You didn't understand what you were doing wrong. Why was everyone else living happy, productive lives while you were stuck being miserable, alone, and depressed?

I mean, you lost all interest in everything. You couldn't find the joy in reading or taking walks about the grounds anymore. Your schoolwork was taking a turn for worse and you found yourself and bored and tired of your classes. Your grades were slipping, you had no friends, no partner, no nothing. Everything just felt wrong, wrong, wrong. And all you could do was sit there and blame yourself.

You knew you wouldn't be able to make it to your dorm to find the privacy to cry- you quickly ducked into the nearest room, curled up into the corner, and burst into sobs. It was all just too much and too little at the same time. You just felt like you couldn't deal with all this anymore. If you didn't deserve to be happy, than maybe you didn't deserve to be at all. Your hands bunched up into fists, lightly hitting your head at your temples. You hated your thoughts, the way your brain worked. You hated how you could think about everything all at once. You just wanted it all to stop, all to end.

You didn't hear the sounds of footsteps passing the classroom - Mattheo had only been walking by, skipping out on Potions, when he heard you. When he glanced into the classroom and saw you crying there, he couldn't help himself.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

You froze, sniffling, your chest heaving for air. You hadn't heard him and was caught off guard. Quickly, you wiped your face with the edge of your sleeve, collecting your bag from the ground and hiking it up your shoulder. "Nothing - nothing's wrong."

He ducked his head, his lips set into a thin-line as he observed you. "I'm not stupid. I can see that you're crying."

Great. Now you had offended the only person, perhaps, that even cared to talk to you for more than five minutes. He must hate you right now. Depise you. Think you to be cruel. "I didn't mean to say you were stupid." It was hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over the threshold. You wiped your eyes with the end of your sleeve again. Why should he care about you? He must be pitying you now, surely he would have no other reason to act so concerned. Even if he did, he would one day realize that you were never as good as he thought you.

His gaze softened, the edges of his lips curling up slightly. He approached you, raising his hand to wipe away a tear that had collected in the inner corner of your eye. "'S all right, darling. Don't cry. Just talk with me about it, hm?"

Your chest heaved as you took in a shaky breath. "W-why do you care? I'm sure you have better things to do." You let out a weak laugh, backing away from his touch. "I mean, come on, don't you have Potions right now?"

"Why do I - I care about you. Do you need a reason why?"

"Yes, I do, actually," you responded, cringing at how snarky you sounded.

Mattheo let out a sigh. "I care about you because you're beautiful, inside and out. I care about you because you make me laugh. And you make me feel better when I've had a shit day. I care about you because no one makes my heart flutter like you do." His voice got smaller as he took a step towards you, and gradually raised his hands to cup your cheeks. He drew your gaze to his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes. His expression was rather serious, as though he were trying to affirm his words. "I care about you cause you're the only person who's ever really cared about me."

You trembled beneath the soft caress of his knuckcles, meeting his eyes for a short moment before shoving him away. A brief moment of hurt echoed through his eyes as you shook your head, backing away from him. "No, no you don't. I don't. And even if you did . . . " You found your voice trailing off. You hiked the strap of your bag up your shoulder again, having slipped down your arm. "I should go. I have History of Magic soon and I don't want to be late."

Mattheo glanced at you and then down at the floor, his jaw clenched. "Fine. I won't stand in your way then."

-

You spent the majority of your time avoiding Mattheo, but you knew there'd be a day when you would run into him and you couldn't do anything about it. Today was that day, almost two weeks after the aforementioned incident.

You were curled up in the Astronomy Tower, late at night, lying on top of a blanket as you glanced up at the stars. It was perhaps the only moment of peace you had found in a while - maybe it was the whistle of wind or the glittering of the stars.

You should've known he'd be up here. He's always sneaking off places late at night, the highest points of the castle. You heard your name being called and turned around to see a surprised Mattheo. He stood but a few feet from yourself. You weren't exactly sure what to do - in your panic, you did nothing.

"Erm - may I sit down?"

You didn't say anything for a moment, drawing your legs into your chest and resting your head upon your knees. You nodded ever so slightly, glancing away from him as he plopped down next to you. His shoulder brushed up against yours and he leaned forward to try and catch your eyes, mimicking your seated position.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the other day. I should've stayed there with you . . ." His voice trailed off. He let out a sigh as he leaned back on both palms, now spraying out his legs across the blanket. He stared put at the stars, his expression neither upset nor particularly happy. "I don't think you really meant it when you said you didn't care about me. I know you do. I just want to know why you're trying to convince yourself that you don't." He paused, hesitating. "Is it because you think I don't feel the same way about you? 'Cause you can erase that thought from your mind. I like you - really, really like you. And I don't know why exactly you keep pushing me away, but I want you to know that I'm here to listen."

He bathed in your silence, not necessarily perturbed by it. He finally decided to test the waters, raising his hand to gently touch yours. He seemed fascinated with you as he ran his fingernail gently across your skin.

You didn't know whether you wanted to tell him or not. You didn't know if you could trust him. If he wouldn't just laugh in your face, call you a fool, and leave you a pitiful mess. But Salazar, did you want to spill your heart out to him. And in the mental state you were in now, coupled with your fatigue, you didn't even care anymore.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't have any friends. I'm not particularly close with my family. And everytime I did start to make a friend or - or something more, they'd just leave." You wrapped your arms tighter around your legs. "I always wondered, what's wrong with me? Do I say the wrong things? Act the wrong way? Am I really so despisable that people actively go out of their way to ignore me?" You scoffed. "Guess I must be some kind of horrible person then."

"That's not true," Mattheo said immediately, surging forward in anger. "You're an amazing person. Whoever has just left you or treated you like that, they're arseholes. I won't do that to you. Never. I don't care how many times I have to say it 'til it gets through that pretty little head of yours, I like you, I care about you, I want to make you happy . . . and if leaving you alone and pretending like I never admitted that to you makes you happy, then that's what I'll do." He waited for your response, painfully hoping for a verbal one. However, you remained silent. Mattheo felt his heart sink. "Right then. Well."

He began to push himself off the floor to get up, but you quickly grabbed his hand. "Wait!" you exclaimed in alarm, finally meeting his eyes. "I - I lied before. I do care about you. Please don't go. Please."

Mattheo sat back down with an easy-going grin, like he knew he had you right where he wanted you.

"You really like me?" You asked, both breathless and doubtful all at once.

"Do you need me to prove it to you?" His grin grew smug.

"Yes, actually."

"All right then." Mattheo raised his hand to rest under your chin, tilting your head slightly to the side so you were facing him directly. Your eyes widened as he drew closer, his eyes glancing between your eyes and your lips. Breath growing shallow, you tensed as you could feel his humid breath on your lips. "I can prove it to you right now, if you let me."

You wasted no time in smashing your lips against his, hands coming up to cup both of his cheeks. Your eyes were shut tight as you relished in the feeling of his buttery smooth lips running against yours. He was a bit more passionate tha you had expected, but he had been waiting for years to do this. And whatever his imagination could try to conjure, it was nothing compared to the real thing.

Mattheo was the one to pull away but he was soon back to give you a quick peck, sming against your lips. "You're amazing - I don't think I'll ever be leaving you after a kiss like that."

You finally grinned, a true grin, gor the first time in a long time, and brought his face back down to yours to kiss under the stars.

Thank you all for reading! Be sure to like, reblog, and comment! I really appreciate it ^^. If you have any requests, by inbox is open but make sure to check the list of characters I write for here. If you want to be tagged in any upcoming fics/headcanons of mine, let me know. If you want to see more from me, go ahead and check out my masterlist here!

#— [ glizzy posts ☆ ] #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle headcanons #mattheo riddle headcanon #slytherin boys #fanfiction #my writing #my fanfiction #my fic #writing #harry potter #fanfic

[ashleyloob]

Hi!

From someone who is disorganized and discouraged, I would love advice on weight-lifting/building muscle. Would you share your understanding of building muscle and the breakdown of diet?

If possible, could you share how you apply what you know to yourself? If you use any tools to help you?

Struggled with working out, gaining weight, and eating my whole life. Thanks!

prefacing this with some important info for fellow disorganized scatterbrains!!!!

the main reason why ppl have trouble sticking to a lifestyle change is because they try to make very drastic changes too quick, and you get overwhelmed and it becomes unsustainable. this is especially an issue for neurodivergent folks, and since it's Tumblr I assume a good chunk of y'all are (me too dw)

DON'T immediately overhaul ur diet and hit the gym 5x a week from day 1!!! hitting tiny goals consistently is also more rewarding than working towards one very large arbitrary goal that you might not reach, esp when it comes to working out. start veeery small if u need to, such as only 10 bodyweight squats per day like i did and go from there. you wanna program ur brain into feeling accomplished to keep you motivated. patience is key!!!!

ok!! now onto the more detailed info below

Disclaimer: I'm still a newbie myself!! only consistently lifting heavy for about 3 months as of this post. I did a good deal of excessive info diving on lifting using the power of Sheer Autism, and my main gym buddy is very experienced & taught me a good chunk of this shit so shout-out to my pal for making all this possible xoxo

so good news!! "building muscle" is very easy for beginners starting from zero. newbie gainz are absolutely real. at this stage you can do just about anything at the gym and get stronger bc u can only go up. BUT!! if you structure it, you can make the process enjoyable and much more efficient. if you're goal oriented (lookin at u ADHD menaces), you'll love the concept progressive overload.

PROGRESSIVE OVERLOAD & SETS/REPS

wikipedia defines progressive overload as: a method of strength training and hypertrophy training that advocates for the gradual increase of the stress placed upon the musculoskeletal and nervous system. in layman's terms, it just means gradually adding more weight as you work out to increase the difficulty as you get stronger. progress is VERY easy to track because of this, and you'll be hitting PRs pretty much every week for the first couple of months and that shit feels fantastic because you physically feel yourself getting stronger so rapidly. I use the app Strong to track my workouts. so, how do we structure progressive overload? that's through sets/reps. A rep is a single execution of an exercise. 1 squat is one rep. 2 squat is 2 reps. and so on. A set is a collection of reps. The format is Sets x Reps, for example: 3x5 means 3 sets of 5 reps. You will rest between sets, and it's typically anywhere from 1 minute all the way up to 5 minutes depending on the level of exertion/type of training you are doing. Heavier weights mean longer rest periods and vice versa.

WHERE DO I EVEN START??

For those interested in barbell training: the r/fitness beginner routine is pretty good! I also recommend 5x5 stronglifts. both are very straightforward, but also note the typical olympic barbell is 45lbs. If this is a weight you struggle with, you can begin with bodyweight exercises, dumbbells, or machines at the gym which are all very BEGINNER beginner friendly. especially when it comes to legs you're probably much stronger than you think. Most people can squat 45lbs first try. don't be afraid -- you're standing on those things all day, they can support hella weight. Like I mentioned earlier, don't be afraid to start veeeery small and work your way up from there. I started at home with doing only bodyweight squats without the barbell, then added on benching with light 7lb dumbbells after a week, then impulse signed up for a gym membership a month later and began to go there to use equipment and now i'm deadlifting over 100lbs as a tiny girl that previously was too weak to even lift a 40lb dog. it snowballs quicker than you think once you gain confidence in your own body and its abilities!

WOAH I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SQUAT/DEADLIFT/BENCH/THIS IS SCARY AND IM FUCKING UP

If you can, i highly recommend getting a personal trainer to assist you, or tag along with a gymrat pal to show you the ropes. This page is also a good resource to learn specific lifts. otherwise, youtube is your best friend. you can record your sets and compare your form to form tutorials on youtube, and actively take notes on what to change the next time you work out. Be an active learner!!! be aware of what muscles are engaged when you lift and how your body feels. almost NOBODY gets it right the first time, esp with barbells. we've all made fools out of ourselves at the gym as beginners it's chill. i find people at the gym are very nice and willing to help you out if you're struggling, and people don't judge at all-- it's very easy to get in your own head in these spaces but most humans there are supportive and want you to succeed, especially since it's a hobby they are also passionate about. the more you do it, the less anxious you get. exposure therapy is very effective!! Also, almost all the barbell exercises can be replaced with smaller dumbbells, and you can do them at home if you get your own set + a workout bench (pretty cheap if u get secondhand, check facebook marketplace/craigslist). i got mad social anxiety myself so i understand sometimes you just can't, and this is an option for those that find public spaces overwhelming.

DIET

I personally don't think specialized diets/precise macro tracking is super duper important for newbies/casuals, only moderately important (spicy take for some but whatever). but you probably naturally will take an interest in diet once you realize it'll help you perform significantly better in the gym. the only macro i track is protein. You can use a TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) calculator to roughly estimate the amount of protein you need for maximum gainz. it's usually around .7-1g of protein for every pound of lean body mass (weight that isn't fat mass). Imma be real it's pretty hard for me to hit the recommended protein goal and most days I don't because my appetite just can't kick in for the amount it demands, and protein is super filling. I found that if i decreased the amount of carbs i eat, i am able to consume more protein bc i guess there's more room in my stomach lol. i eat a fuck ton of greek yogurt, chicken, fish, and tofu. when i started working out, i begin cooking a lot more and found i naturally craved less processed junk foods and snacks because the protein was keeping me full all day which is a plus! Even when im not regularly hitting my protein goal my gym progress is still going well and I think it's simply because my diet is A LOT better than what it used to be in my gremlin days. I also eat a lot more now that i've gained a bit of muscle, so do be prepared for food costs to go up as your metabolism increases and demands more energy to upkeep your gainz.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR ME TO LOOK LIKE A MUSCLE MOMMY????

a whileeee. over a year, probably, unless if you're on anabolic steroids (dont ever do that u will quite literally die). and physique is mostly from diet since it's dependent on your body fat percentage, the saying "abs are made in the kitchen" is true. its why you see hyper skinny terminally indoors gamer dudes with abs, even if they'd snap in half if you farted in their general direction. those mfs barely eat they too busy being gamers i am no longer interested in lifting for aesthetics personally since i get more joy from hitting PRs and i'm pretty content with my body image, but ik physique is the reason why most people get into lifting so i'll touch on it. Weightlifting on its own will not make you lose weight or fat. Again, it needs to be supplemented with a healthy sustainable diet (DO NOT DO CRASH DIETS THAT SHIT IS GARBAGE) and a form of cardio. I actually gained 8lbs since I began lifting from water retention & new muscle mass (muscle is more dense than fat, your body retains water when repairing muscle after a gym sesh) but my measurements and pants size have remained the same. I'm short, so something as small as a 5lb increase usually bumped me up a pants size but it didn't this time bc im gettin swole :') if you want to track physique changes, measuring your waistline & progress pics is a better way to do so than the scale. If you want bigger muscles, look into hypertrophy training. it's a tad different from strength training, mainly because you do higher reps at a lower weight.

#lifting advice

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Ghost, König, and Soap with a gn darling who has Autism

Warnings: yandere behavior and a bit ooc character; I'm a believer for König having ADHD.

A/N: this was a request but someone deactivated which deleted their ask. Happy Autism awareness month! I'm all extremely proud of you <3

I did my research on Autism but I'm not fully aware of the diagnosis(?). If I offended anyone, that's not what I meant, and please send an ask if I did anything incorrectly.

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

It’s likely that he already knew or saw the signs and decided to research it; which, led him to read a fair amount about autism to connect with you.

However, he’s not a physiatrist and he’s not dumb enough to assume, which leads him to keep it private or not bring it up before you do. Mental and physical health is personal. He won’t dig into your diagnosis unless he views it as harmful. However, once you do feel ready to tell him, he will be incredibly supportive and try his best to learn about your triggers.

When it comes to things that overwhelm you, he’s pretty good at tracking those things. Certain textures and noises are written down and taken very seriously by him.

Don’t like the feeling of jeans? He will make sure not to wear them around you or buy you some.

Hate the sound of cardboard or styrofoam? Simon makes sure not to unbox packages near you or let you be in sight of it.

Protective over a certain object? He will make sure to never use it, and if he does need to, he will ask and won’t get upset if you say no. Consent is taken seriously with this man.

Speaking of consent, He’s pretty clear with it — he won’t touch you. He’s pretty adamant about making sure you don’t feel like a nuisance or try to ‘force’ you to do things with him, including touching. It’s your body, it has rules and he’s gonna respect those. Boundaries are there for a reason.

After a while with you, he’s learned your body language and a few things to communicate with you without spoken words. The two of you have secret signals, certain pulled-up fingers or touches mean certain words; do you need company or alone time? Want to have space or be cuddled with him? Is the room too bright or too loud? Whatever you need, he’ll help out as much as he can.

A plus side with Simon is that he speaks pretty clearly; no unnecessary, soft metaphors with him. He means whatever he says, you don’t have to worry about missing something as he speaks directly with anyone, including you. If he does make a mistake or offend you, he’s more willing to acknowledge his mistake and learn from it. Don’t be afraid to approach him, he can handle it.

If you enjoy parallel play, Simon is someone who enjoys it just as much. He doesn’t mind sitting in the same room with you, just enjoying each other’s presence without talking or engaging with each other and doing your own thing. He feels comfort by being in the same room, simply reading a book, watching TV, or doing work as you do the same. You don’t always need conversation to be comfortable. He respects that of you.

Having little to no eye contact, being blunt/or forward, and getting burnt out in public places easily don’t bother him either. Simon understands that eye contact doesn’t equal attention. He’s also a fan of not big places, he’s a homebody and prefers to be in his safe area with you.

Simon is one of those people who prefers when people speak their minds, and say what they mean. Just get straight to the point, don’t hint at things other than expect others to know the meaning. It’s boring — plus, he gets to understand things easier.

While Simon is incredibly good at being supportive and respecting your boundaries, he sometimes doesn’t understand/or grasp the concept of emotional dysregulation or hyper-empathy.

He doesn’t know what to do if you get upset over something ‘small’. But, with learning like a good husband, he will ask you questions based on what will help you: do you need comfort? If so, how would you like it? Words or physical touch? Or just being in the same room so you can feel at least his presence?

He actually enjoys having certain patterns with you. He likes order and sticking to it, so whenever the two of you go grocery shopping or out in public, he will follow right behind you like a guard dog as he shuffles around people in the aisles; making sure nobody touches you or gets in your way; he will help guide you, a hand on your hip as he follows you around.

Gives you his full attention whenever you’re talking about something you are very passionate about — whatever it’s about, he hums along and asks questions to know more. He likes learning new things from you and may share some things of his own! He enjoys seeing you happy about the hobbies you are joyful about.

When the world becomes too loud for you and a bunch is going around you, Simon will pull you somewhere quieter, allowing you to have a moment by yourself to recollect; helping you with breathing patterns, or asking you questions to help you in some way.

Ghost is deadly serious about protecting you. If anyone gives you weird looks or dares to say anything, he will look at them until they get scared and walk away — he’s not afraid to throw fists if they dare approach you.

Stimming? Simon is happy that you’re expressing yourself, as long as you’re not physically hurting yourself, he won’t mind you doing your own thing. He enjoys it rather.

He doesn't mind if you are fiddling with his fingers, repeatedly pulling at your clothing, or tapping your fingers at the dinner table as the two of you eat; rarely do these habits annoy him. He actually encourages these stims.

König:

Extremely supportive and understanding. He will make sure to learn about it, as well as ask you frequent questions on what things can/will trigger you. You’re his spouse, a person he’s admired and loved, he’s willing to do anything to help you, including with your troubles.

König can relate to some of your daily struggles. While he knows that he’s not autistic, he does have ADHD and anxiety which causes some things to clash with yours: hyperfixations, certain textures that make your skin crawl, stimming, and fidgeting, or rejection sensitivity. There’s a whole lot more to go on with, but to an extent, König can understand you while he’s prone to help you.

If you ever feel overwhelmed, even in the place of a restaurant or going shopping, and need to leave, he will utmost support you and never let you apologize.

Shopping can happen another day, he can go down there and finish it later; you are always his top priority. Eating at a restaurant is for fun, and you are not ruining it. Today wasn’t your day, tomorrow is another day that we can try.

Is super respectful, even with touching you and approaching your space. He’s always been a gentle giant, no matter how many years the two of you have been together since kidnapping.

If you don’t want to be touched, he won’t be affected by it and will respect you. Boundaries are always heard, loud and clear with this man.

With König, he’s shy — sometimes his body language can be too stiff and he can’t say the right words without stuttering or making a mess of himself. However, he will try to learn to be more straightforward with you, especially with being needy or wanting kisses.

Stimming around him is completely normal, as he does it. He’s fine with you swinging his arms around when holding hands, singing along to a song that he hasn’t heard before, or continuously pacing in the house. Whatever you feel comfortable doing, please do it; much like Ghost, he encourages your stimming.

They’re simply a part of you, which he adores like the others. As long as you’re not physically hurting yourself, he won’t engage and leave you alone with your own thing.

If you’re hyper-fixated with certain things, whether that’s about the 18th century, bugs and reptiles, or rocks/minerals, König will go out of his way to surprise you with things you enjoy.

He enjoys it whenever you decide to tell him random hobbies or facts throughout the day. He actually looks forward to knowing things because of you! Especially if it’s about animals or different countries, he gets infested and may ask more about it, which leads to date nights on researching different topics with each other!

Patterns and cleanliness can be incredibly important for some people. While König will try his best to be as clean as he can, sometimes he forgets. He’s not the messiest giant. But he’s also not the cleanest perfectionist.

With that being said, König will do specific types of jobs in the home to help you: going as far as folding clothes, vacuuming, cleaning and disinfecting the bathroom, or doing the dishes. Whatever you feel uncomfortable doing, leave it up to him!

However, if the two of you are outside, König is more than protective of you. As much as he can understand you can handle yourself, he will not stand people making fun of you or simply staring at you. König will, and can approach people with a look of pure evil; he’s not gonna stand around and make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable without doing something about it.

König, like any husband, will be incredibly patient with you. If you are shopping, he never hurries you whenever you are looking at the shelves of candles, even if you choose the same one every time.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish:

He’s pretty nonchalant about the whole thing; he doesn’t really mind. Not to say that he will ignore your needs and issues, but he sees you as you. Your autism doesn’t make him think differently of you, you are still his spouse; he loves you regardless.

With the help of the internet, asking your family/or friends, and yourself, he will learn ways to comfort you and engage things with you without offending or triggering you. Whatever you need, he will get you in a few minutes: fizzy drinks, water, your comfort blanket and plushie, or comfort food.

Any activity you engage in, Soap tries to be with you as you are interested in it. Do you like reading books? He will collect as much as he can and take some time off to enjoy quiet time with you.

Love collecting miniature accessories to decorate your office? Soap will find some rare pieces and give you some.

Love popping bubble wrap? He will collect it as he gets packages in the mail, going as far as to buy you some online. At best, you'll have a few months worth.

Soap is big on encouraging your stimming in front of him and not masking. While he does understand that neurodivergent people mask to fit in society, he wants you to be you. He doesn’t want you to hide away, even if you think it’s ‘dumb’ or ‘bizarre’.

He hates how society has shaped people who are autistic as ‘insufferable’ or ‘emotionless’ because they are not. You are you. You just have extra steps that need to be seen and heard.

While Soap is incredibly flirty and loves joking around, he will try his best to be more straightforward and ask things directly rather than hint at things — he may make some mistakes but he will learn from them, trying his best to tell you things instead of whispering things into your ear.

Communication and body language can be hard. With Soap, he will try to find ways to communicate with you without his body language and sometimes not using his direct words.

With a certain time, he will learn when you’re stressed and immediately help you through anxiety/or a panic attack, sometimes distracting you with random questions and conversations, asking about your hobbies and the reason you like them.

Like the others, he doesn’t mind the stimming but rather enjoys seeing you get all happy and giddy about certain topics. As long as you’re not hurting yourself in any way, he won’t stop you.

Wherever you feel comfortable doing, whether that’s playing with fidget toys, humming, or tracing the lines on the palm of his hands, it won’t bother him at all.

Certain things can be triggering, which Soap will try his best to comfort.

That certain light that’s on? He’ll give you some headphones and his jacket, rubbing your back to help you calm down.

Don’t like sitting down? He’ll try to find you some space so you can stand by yourself, or get you a fidget cube to play with.

People staring at you? Soap will throw them a glare. If that doesn’t work, he may approach them ‘nicely’ about it.

Speaking of glaring, if anyone looks at you for too long, he’s not gonna be nice about it; throwing a bunch of glares before getting up from his seat, and asking the person what their deal is. This goes along the lines if someone approaches you, yet again, won’t go the nice line. He will get in their face and tell them to fuck off before something worse happens.

Being oversensitive isn’t a bad thing, nor is being under-responsiveness. It’s just the way your brain is hooked up and there’s nothing wrong with being you.

Sometimes crying over a movie character that died is a good thing — expressing your guilty pleasure over them, even if they were the villain.

Or maybe not noticing someone is being rude until you have a conversation with Johnny later that day, in which, he talks it out with you; asking if you want suggestions or need support.

Nevertheless, at the end of the day, Johnny is here to support you, even if you snap at him or decide to get so overwhelmed that you need a power nap together.

—

Masterlist || Please reblog or comment instead of liking, it helps a bunch!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

#the icons are not mine #they belong to their rightful owners #kokeshi!! #yandere blog #yandere x reader #yandere male #male yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere x gn reader #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere x gender neutral reader #yandere ghost #yandere ghost x reader #yandere simon 'ghost' riley #yandere simon riley #yandere soap #yandere johnny #Yandere soap x reader #yandere konig #yandere könig #yandere mw2 #yandere modern warfare #yandere cod #anonymous #könig mw2 #ghost mw2 #soap mw2 #x autistic reader #x gn reader

[alpaca-clouds]

Accessibility for Neurodivergence and Mental Health

Okay, let's talk a bit more about accessibility in worldbuilding - especially in terms of making a world more accessible to neurodivergent people and folks who struggle with their mental health.

Now, let me start with one thing: While we obviously do not know a lot of how neurodivergent people lived in historical times - especially given that the concept was not around back then - but it is generally believed that especially for people with ADHD and a variety of forms of Autism live was actually a lot better, because a lot of out issues are closely linked with the fact that our brains do not do "9 to 5 work in an office". This is not true for all of us, but for quite a few. There is also some autistic people were seen a valuable for some of their unique traits.

It should at this point also be noted that in general it is also believed that in medieval societies people did work less than they do these days. (Around 30 hours a week.) Which also will be a lot more bearable for a lot of people with both neurodivergent brains and generally mental health struggles. Especially as outdoor work will also be considered easier for a lot of folks. Hence there is a chance that in a medieval setting for example folks might need a bit less in terms of accessibility, as their needs are generally already met.

That said, accessibility for a lot of neurodivergent people means first and foremost to create spaces for retreat. Meaning: Some sort of space or room, where folks can unwire. Soft, and dimmed light, maybe some good place to sit down, silence or alternative very soft noises. To allow for those places in public spaces and work places is just important for neurodivergent folks.

Of course, this is a bit less pressing in a setting where people are already in nature all the time. But especially science fiction settings this can be a big need.

Also important for a science fiction setting especially: Spaces that allow neurodivergent people to control their environment to some degree. Which means especially in terms of noise and lighting.

A general accessibility need that would also help pretty much everyone, is less working hours for everyone. As I said: Generally it is believed that in medieval times folks did not work more than 30 hours a week on average, so anything else would be unrealistic (outside of the sowing and harvest times). And if we are talking about a science fiction future, it should be assumed that a lot of processes can be automated. This goes specifically if we are talking something like a Solarpunk future, where we are going to assume that capitalism has ended, so stuff being automated is actually a good thing, because people do not need to work for a living.

Something that a lot of people also do overlook in terms of mental health needs, is green spaces. Our stupid monkey brains crave seeing nature and being surrounded by nature. It does improve our mental health. (Which also is, why in Cyberpunk we definitely should talk abotu the ongoing mental health crisis, that most cyberpunk stories do not really mention...)

And of course just some general accessibility needed would be... more and easier access to information about all the different t hings. I mean, a lot of the issues that both neurodivergent folks and folks with mental health issues have to deal with are prejudices. And those prejudices originate with the fact that folks in general are just not very well educated on those topics. In fact there is a general bias against all those things, partly stemming from prejudice, partly from people just never having learned how to deal with people that are not neurotypical.

Not to mention that more education on this would also help people in question to learn that they are not really weird, but just not neurotypical.

Once again, if you have anything to add, feel free!

#disability #disability rights #accessibility #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #mental health #autism #adhd #audhd #scifi #science fiction #clifi #fantasy #historical setting #solarpunk #lunarpunk

[tabithatwo]

Do you think Jackie is autistic? She has alot of autistic traits and some are even accepted by the fandom. There's a tag for her on Ao3

this is a really interesting question for me. i'm sort of going to give my opinion in a round about way because its very bound up in who i am, so bare with me. i wouldn't feel equipped to answer this question if i didn't relate very heavily to jackie. part of my yj love started just from how seen i felt by jackie's character.

i was captain of a girls sports team, i was so stupidly lesbian, i had the on a boys sports team boyfriend who i didn't like at all, my home life wasn't like hers in many ways but my mother was also an addict and generally not nice lady lol, i tried my best to be as nice as i could to everyone, and surface level i was liked in a homecoming princess type way, but i had very few super close friends. i often got the "wow you're actually nice" or "i assumed you were a bitch" comments from people i'd never spoken to before and i had no idea why or how to prove that i was genuine. jackie gets accused of being "fake nice" to "manipulate people" a lot, but we really don't see her doing any manipulating or get any evidence that she doesn't mean the nice things she says and does.

i heavily relate to that and as i've gotten older i've realized that people often mistake the sense that something is off with fake kindness. i think there are a few reasons that jackie is treated the way she is, both by the other girls at the end of her life and by viewers, but it would take like...an extensive essay to get into the nuance of them lol, so i'll just stick with this:

i think being neurodivergent gets you the treatment that jackie gets a lot of the time. i'm EXTREMELY adhd, like really blow the assessment scores all the way up adhd lmao it impacts my life heavily, and i wasn't diagnosed until my twenties. i also score high on the autism screener and fit the criteria, but i have never/will never seek any formal diagnosis there just out of personal preference. all that to say, i relate heavily to jackie taylor, i think the girl is some kinda neurodivergent, and i think headcanoning characters as autistic makes total sense when the evidence tallies up lol.

the thing is, so many characters are lesbian-coded or adhd-coded or autisim-coded, because so many people don't know that they are those things. i knew i liked women from an early age, but i had the comphet of thinking i liked men also. so i didn't know i was a lesbian until i was 24. i didn't know i had adhd until i was 25. i didn't know i was (probably) autistic until 26. we don't have to know the words for the things we feel and do to embody them or to see them in others or to write them into characters. does that make sense?

anyway, if you think jackie taylor is autisic i love that and i can't say i disagree. that's my long-winded answer!

#jackie taylor #yellowjackets #asks answered

[crazylittlejester]

THEYRE (the chain) ALL AUTISTIC ESPECIALLY THE ERAS WAR TRIO!! IN THIS TEDTALK I WILL-

mask was, ironically, very low masking

warriors was (and still kinda is) VERY high masking

(Tune is somewhere in the middle + ADHD)

mask really struggled at first on the battlefield because of his extreme lack of social skills (dude was raised in the woods with a bunch of other autistic fairy kids), lack of danger awareness, and poor understanding of war/battlefield (he’s used to 1-1 boss fights not war), and the fact that as a kid, he was already much much higher support needs, not even mentioning how traumatized he must’ve been.

warriors was drowning in stress, a literally TEENAGER (I hc him being 16-20 during the war) severely masking and like, PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO STOP. Among all the other non-neurodivergent stressors (cia, A WAR, parenting two kids in battle, food issues)

warriors helped mask learn tips for surviving the neurotypical world** (TM) and made sure he was 100% accommodated, since warriors knew he, himself would never have that.

Mask subtly (and probably accidentally) pushed warriors to mask less, creating a safe space where the three bros could all be them selves. He’d throw the biggoron sword if someone so much as looked NEAR where warriors was when he was stimming, ready to fight the h8ters if necessary.

later on, the trio (and now 6 more!) rejoin, and time is pleasantly surprised to see that warriors has kept some of the mentality. Granted, he’s not made any progress since then, but he’s not gotten worse, so that’s something.

Warriors is also quietly content that time has retained the social skills he taught him, in fact, he’s picked up even more! Though he finds it hard to find time at all scary, intimidating, or powerful, because warriors knows EXACTLY what is going through time’s head when he makes that face, I mean, he taught his brother himself!

warriors now has to face the living proof that he’s not weird or broken, lest he tell that to his eight brothers who are nowhere near as masking as he is, culture shock!

**DISCLAIMER!!

I know that the idea of “normalizing” autistic kids via teaching them neurotypical behaviors is a very complex and nuanced conversation to be had, and I’m not trying to parade around supporting ABA. (not to make this about me or anything,) but this pov/head cannon/prompt (?) is inspired from the perspective of me and my lower masking/much higher support needs sibling (both are autistic) :)

Your favorite,

-MANDARIN WARRIORS

I love you for this oh my god

To me, one of the things Mask struggles with the most besides social cues is controlling his facial expressions when especially when talking to others, which is why the other Links just automatically assumed he was the stoic silent type, because they saw this serious looking older guy who rarely smiles and were like “oh he means business-” but really he just has very flat expressions. Similarly I think he’s very dry when he speaks, it was worse when he was younger, and he’d gotten better at making himself sound more excited/happy, but occasionally the others (not including Wars) think he’s being sarcastic when he isn’t. And this is part of why they can never tell if he’s joking about having fought the moon.

With how chaotic his childhood was (and also because of the autism), to me he’s someone who really needs stability and predictably, which is why ranch work is sooo good for him. Like yeah unexpected things happen, but he can also sit there and take care of the animals and know he will be taking care of the animals the next day (also I think braiding Epona’s mane would be both comforting for him AND the horse)

Warriors is someone I can see stressing out so much about how people view him and he’s so scared of being anything less than perfect that he ends up getting trapped masking and everything just builds up until he explodes. He certainly was not coping well during the war, with everything that was going on, but I totally agree that Mask helped him mask less. Those two absolutely helped each other, both intentionally and completely by accident. By the time he’s in his mid/late twenties, he’s gotten a lot better about not letting everything build up, and also at unmasking every once in a while when he feels safe. (you’re so right, time/mask would fight ANY haters on wars’s behalf)

Everything you said was so perfect and I love it!! I’ve written one fic centering around these two being autistic (although I didn’t explicitly state that because I don’t know if they’d have like, the medical diagnosis for that in hyrule), and i really need to write more. I myself am autistic and good autism rep is really important to me because I never saw it as a kid

You’re literally my favorite at this point, mandarin wars anon, I hope you’re having a good day 🫶

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu warriors #lu wars #lu time #jes talks #jes ask

[theravenmuse]

Reasons why I support self diagnosing ADHD and autism:

1. It can be HARD to get that official diagnosis, especially as an adult. At that point, we’ve learned to mask and compensate in ways that can make it easy for a professional to dismiss because they’re used to evaluating children. This is even harder in girls/women (and quite likely in non-binary people as well, though I’ve personally seen no studies that look at this,) whose behavior is typically different from boys and, most notably, is less disruptive to OTHER people even if it’s very debilitating for the person themself. There’s also the consideration of actually getting the thing done. Getting a diagnosis involves multiple phone calls, office visits, forms to fill out, and each of those things is a mountain to climb for someone who has social anxiety or executive dysfunction, both common for neurodivergents. Money is a factor in this as well. Neurodivergent people are far more likely to struggle financially and far less likely to have good health insurance.

2. (Quack science aside) At home treatment for ADHD and autism will not hurt anyone. The thing that most helps neurodivergents are tips and tricks for time management, organization, and other life skills. Guess what? A lot of those hacks work for neurotypicals as well! And if they don’t, there’s no harm done, you just found something that didn’t work for you. Another recommendation, therapy, is also great for neurotypicals right alongside neurodivergents. The only treatment that may be potentially harmful is medication and prescription medication is only available through a medical provider, meaning that not just anyone will be able to try it out, at least legally.

3. Being able to put a name to something gives you a feeling of belonging. For neurodivergents who have a hard time connecting to most of their peers, this is HUGE! It’s huge to be able to say there are others like me and it’s okay to be the way I am.

Full disclosure: I do not recommend seeking medication through illegitimate means for two reasons. First, that medication may be only as legitimate as the method you used to obtain it. Poorly made medications can be dangerous. Second, the medication you need is heavily individual. There’s no way to say that every person with ADHD, for example, will benefit from the same medication so you need a doctor to help you find the right combination for you. If other methods of managing your neurospicy self aren’t helping, I highly recommend seeking out a medical professional (a psychiatrist experienced in working with people in your age range with your assumed diagnosis is my personal recommendation, but even a GP will be willing to help at least get you started in the right direction) to discuss trying medications.

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #adhd #autism #self diagnosis

[strayheartless]

so does zack, seph and gen are all aware that they are neurodivergent?

Errr not officially aware as in they have been to a doctor who has formally tested them. But aware in the sense of they experience all these different things that are hard to ignore.

I kind of write a lot of these things with a duel idea of “they don’t know, but if they were formally diagnosed they’d recognise that it’s because of their diagnosis.”

The reality is that Zack, Seph, Gen and probably Cloud would not be able to be diagnosed unless they were willing to give up their jobs as members of a military force. Most armed forces (or at least in my country) don’t allow formally diagnosed autistic and ADHD people in the military.

Whether Shinra cares is up for debate, but I’d imagine they wouldn’t put much effort into accommodating neurodivergent peoples needs.

Also there’s the question of if it’s an available diagnosis within the world of FFvii. Assuming it is then how readily available is it?

I generally see it like this:

Genesis: seen as “gifted kid” because he was so intelligent, never got diagnosed because his parents didn’t believe autism and ADHD were a real thing. Gen was simply seen as bossy and opinionated. He he could be brutally honest but he wasn’t a bad kid. Gillian was very good with him, and Angeal never seemed to have an issue with how much Genesis could be.

Sephiroth: Hojo ignored all his signs on purpose, has read very bad and harmful science on “curing” autism and has traumatised sephiroth to the point of deep rooted masking. It’s hard to tell what’s trauma and what’s Autism with Sephiroth these days.

Zack: His parents were told he probably was ADHD in fact his teachers were almost positive he was. The problem was there’s not a lot of funding in country reactor town education, so mr and mrs Fair would have had to pay a lot of money to get him diagnosed and that would mean taking him all the way to Midgar or Kalm to find a doctor to diagnose him formally. In the end they went to the library and read up on what they could do to help him.

Cloud: Cloud doesn’t know what Autism is. He doesn’t know he has it. He doesn’t know that his mother desperately tried to get him diagnosed when he was little because she thought it might ease how people treated him. And Cloud certainly doesn’t know that his main problem with communication and sustaining friendship has to do with said autism. Claudia tried so hard to find a way. She’d suspected since he was little because he didn’t like eye contact and he was slow to speak, but she never had the money.

#ffvii #genesis rhapsodos #cloud strife #crisis core #zack fair #angeal hewley #sephiroth #adhd #autism #AuDHD #ask #ask answered #anon ask #anonymous

[system-of-a-feather]

Another one of those "passing on the notes I learned from my years of therapy and recovery for those to consider as perhaps a cheat code to not learn it in the long and hard way I did" but one of the things that helps the most to unlearn / learn in recovery is that not everything is pathological and not everything pathological has to be "fixed"

The former is simply saying that not every trait and aspect about you has to come from or be sorted into originating from one of your conditions. Sure, maybe something you do is a bit odd and it could be explained by trauma or neurodivergence, but it also just might be a genuine personality quirk and its fine. It doesn't have to be sweated over or looked at in a lens of a mental / medical condition.

As for the latter, the obvious case of this is autism and ADHD - a lot of the traits in those are "pathological" in the sense that they are considered to be specifically due to having a disorder, but a large number of those "pathological" symptoms (like excessive stimming and having intense interests) on their own really don't inherently need to be fixed.

But the other thing is that some pathological trauma behaviors and symptoms can clearly originate from your traumatic childhood and be something that "no normal person would think / do / behave like" and assuming that extreme statement is true, just because a trait / behavior / aspect of how you live developed due to trauma, doesn't mean it has to change. A trait and behavior can be pathological in that sense and - if its not really hurting anyone and if it can be adapted well into your life - it doesn't have to be a problem. Some pathological trauma-developed aspects of your life are deeply intertwined with how you grew up (much like non-trauma aspects) and sometimes they just aren't worth digging up and doing all the processing to 'fix'. This is especially so for the aspects of yourself that developed due to trauma that are semi or even usually adaptive.

You can have behaviors, traits, and views that obviously developed from your past with trauma AND still keep those in your life AND be happy.

I'm mostly saying this because I am once again reflecting on just how much of our life is pretty intense and wild due to the fact that I - a part that was originally meant to be an imaginary friend and fantasy-orientated escapism and source of hope - became host. A lot of how I experience myself and my relationship with the world is weird and there are a lot of experiences I just don't really have in me to process in a "typical" way.

I'd say that there are probably parts that used to be prone to processing the things I can't, but after so many years our systems become structured to support the quirks I have and I think our brain at this point just doesn't really find the demand or interest to restore those aspects for any near-future reason as it largely still serves us.

At some point, maybe we will target them. Maybe they will become more harmful and/or limiting than helpful, but these traits both work for us, work for those around us, and help us and just all in all work very well for us. Yes they are pathological, but not everything pathological has to go.

On top of that, the idea that all pathology has to be fixed and cured to be happy really just isn't true and honestly just stems from a place of pushing this concept of "normal" which.... who the hell supports the narrative and concept of "normal" in 2024 on tumblr dot com

It's okay to be disabled, disordered, neurodivergent, affected long term by trauma, and / or just straight up weird.

Fix what doesn't work in your life, everything else doesn't have to be sweated over.

#alter: riku #recovery #ptsd #c-ptsd #cptsd #c ptsd #healing #trauma #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder

[disabledunitypunk]

The irony of this post having the ableism tag when it's ableist against intellectual and cognitive disabilities and openly sanist:

(It reads: i hate "acoustic" jokes. you can't do something plain stupid and say oh im so acoustic. no. you're just stupid.

i hate "i have adhd today". no you don't have adhd if you're "crazy" and moving a lot. stop.

"oh im so delulu" no. you're not delusional. it's not funny.

stop using disabilities as a 1. joke 2. as an excuse when someone tells you to stop being annoying or acting stupid. stop.

with the tags "ableism", "disability" and "actually disabled")

Let's go point by point.

"i hate "acoustic" jokes. you can't do something plain stupid and say oh im so acoustic. no. you're just stupid."

I'm not sure if this is meant to say autistic, or if it's about actual autistic people being silly about their autism and misspelling it on purpose for that reason.

But autism often co-occurs with intellectual disability. It also is commonly comorbid with disorders that cause cognitive disabilities. It is itself a developmental disability.

This means that being unintelligent is a common, neutral component of many people's autism. It's not a bad thing. It's important to unpack the ableism of why you think being "stupid" is a bad thing. Why is a part of your identity and existence that you have no control over, can't change, and is most often less present due to specific disabilities causing it to be so, a bad thing?

Why are you, as an (assumed) autistic person so desperate to distance yourself from autistic people who are not intelligent and who have intellectual disabilities?

"i hate "i have adhd today". no you don't have adhd if you're "crazy" and moving a lot. stop."

I will admit, "I have ADHD today" is not correct.

(I am not sure, to be fair, if systems can experience only some alters having ADHD. I know autism is structural, so even if symptom holders experience it more acutely, every member will have a physically autistic brain still. With ADHD in large part being based in the behavior of neuroreceptors and production of specific neurotransmitters, I can't say that I know enough to say whether the actual mechanisms driving ADHD are structural or not.)

But hyperactivity is a common symptom of one subtype of ADHD, and can cause "moving a lot". I don't know if the use of "crazy" in quotes is how the people saying "I have ADHD today" are describing themselves, or if it's a label the original poster is putting on themselves, but it's honestly not great either way.

I'm not going to police who can reclaim the word, as someone with several classic "insane" diagnoses - schizophrenia, DID, MaDD, and multiple cluster B disorders. There are people, especially people with more severe ADHD, who have absolutely faced awful sanism regularly for their ADHD.

But I do think that describing a person you believe is not neurodivergent in the specific way you're talking about as "acting crazy" is just reinforcing sanism. It's positing "craziness" as an inherently negative thing, especially in the largest context of essentially fakeclaiming and whining about neurodivergent "trenders" "making real neurodivergent people look bad".

Craziness - having beliefs that don't align with consensus reality (the reality most people experience), or acting in ways other people believe are "irrational" or "don't make sense" - is not an inherently bad thing.

It has, however, been weaponized against the majority of neurodivergent people for centuries if not millenia to justify both suppression of harmless neurodivergent traits. It has also been used to justify violent subjugation over traits defined as harmful (including ones that actually are) that cause us significantly more distress and dysfunction than they cause harm to those around us. Instead of supporting compassionate, consensual, rehabilitative care, we have had our human rights stripped and our autonomy violated "for our own good" and in the name of "fixing us" for both "our" sakes and those of "sane" people.

Everything from hostility towards functional multiplicity and person-based understandings of plurality; to forced medication of schizophrenia and trying to discourage us from neutral, pleasant, and even helpful harmless delusions; to the erasure of both immersive and maladaptive daydreaming; to the pathologization and stigmatization of personality disorders - that's all because people believe being "irrational" is bad.

And "sane" people get to decide and write the books on what is "rational, good, and normal" and what is "crazy, insane, irrational, and bad". Completely rational trauma responses, even in children, are pathologized. Craziness is also conflating with being "noncompliant", being inherently more likely to be violent and to be more violent than average, and essentially to be an inherently "bad" person who has to try to be "sane" in order to be "good".

Finally, " "oh im so delulu" no. you're not delusional. it's not funny."

Honestly, I've never seen an actual delusional person use "delulu". I don't think it's in the reclamation stage and don't know if it ever will be. No notes here basically, we're in agreement. I would simply note if an actual person who experiences delusions describes themself as such, that is their right, and it's a good idea not to assume without further context.

So, "stop using disabilities as a 1. joke 2. as an excuse when someone tells you to stop being annoying or acting stupid. stop."

1. Joking about your own disabilities is fine. It can even be an important coping skill. Joking about disabilities you don't have is going to be inappropriate and harmful in most circumstances, so unless you've educated yourself on the rare exceptions it's better to refrain from doing so. However, I have had the experience of trusted friends making harmless jokes about my disabilities, so I won't say it's never possible.

This is however "joking about" disabilities and not "treating the entire existence of the disability as a joke". We agree that the latter is unacceptable.

2. Reasons for being disabled are not excuses, and if you can't handle disabled people being "annoying", let alone unintelligent, you're already deeply ableist. Disabled people are going to have conflicting access needs, coping mechanisms, and simple symptoms of their disability that WILL annoy you.

Annoyance is not harm. You don't get to demand someone not be annoying for your convenience, but especially when that annoyance is a result of disability. Even in the case of an actual need based on your own disabilities (such as a sensory seeking person sending a sensory avoidant person into a state of overwhelm and meltdown or shutdown), the responsibility is as much on you to remove yourself from the situation or find a compromise that works for both of you as it is on them.

But annoyance? Sometimes disabled people are annoying. It's not ableism to say so. I am annoying as a result of my disabilities. I stim loudly. I have bad body odor. I infodump. I am uncontrollably hyperverbal.

The posts about "people like autistic people until they show symptoms of autism" are about this person. They're about people who demand that disabled people never inconvenience them or be unpalatable in harmless ways due to their disabilities.

And of course, once again, being against unintelligence is inherently ableist. It doesn't matter if you are intellectually and/or cognitively abled. It doesn't matter if you've never been annoying in your life (I can guarantee you have. The OP of the screenshotted post very much has. Do I have a right to demand they not make that post because it annoys me, and to say they are using their disabilities as an excuse for the abject ableism present within it?)

The issue is not a simple issue of poor wording or awkward language. It is the ideas behind the language that are actively harmful.

I actually don't take issue with people using words like "crazy" or even rarely "stupid" in a positive or neutral context. "That concert was crazy", "I had a crazy day", or even "that steak was stupid good" are not inherently harmful. It's not about policing language, it's about interrogating the ideas behind the language you use.

Admittedly, I even take less issue with people who are "crazy" or "stupid" (who choose to reclaim such terms, or have been labeled as such by others) choosing to use the terms in a negative context when not directed at other people. I don't like the reinforcement of such things as inherently negative and find it can still be ableist, but at the minimum context matters. If I say "my car had a crazy engine failure" that's a lot different than "my boss was acting crazy", even.

Not using the terms negatively is a good rule of thumb, though. Different words have different negative connotations and have been used differently against disabled people, as well. The variation in stigma means that how you handle one word doesn't work for any other word. Note that my example for negative usage only included "crazy". I don't think I am capable of determining what negative usage of "stupid" or similar is appropriate, if any.

Basically, it's not bad to be unintelligent or crazy, which are usually themselves a result of disability. You can be annoying and unintelligent as a result of disability. Acknowledging that is not ableism, but throwing those people under the bus is. People are allowed to be annoying, especially as a result of disability, because you are not entitled to not being annoyed. Annoyance is not harm, and it's not "making excuses for it" to attribute it to disability, in part because you don't need to justify your right to exist in a way that other people don't like if you aren't harming anyone. You also don't need a reason to be unintelligent, but disability is a valid reason.

#ableism #disability #actually disabled

[freckliedan]

Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

#jam replies #anon #very unrelated response to ur ask but like. yours is a complete thought i agree with in meaning if not 100% in your phrasing but i know whe #not to be a pedantic asshole so like! @ me in yall's posts. it will work out better for you than sending me asks like this that i can't #answer

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hey 👋

I’ve been thinking for a while about the potential of me having autism or Asperger’s—

But I’m having the awkward feeling that I’m wrong, and I’m only saying it because I want to be part of it.

stupid, I know.

Im trying not to contradict myself to claim that I have something like this— And k feel like if I do have it, people would be dissatisfied and expect higher things.

…yeah.

Hi there,

It sounds like you are dealing with something called imposter syndrome.

I found an article talking about it.

Why do we have autistic impostor syndrome?

1. We spend our whole lives adapting to what people think we should be. We are human chameleons. In essence, we are empathic metamorphs (a being from an episode entitled The Perfect Mate, from Star Trek: Next Generation), a being that can sense what people around her desire and react accordingly. It is telling that at age 22, I identified heavily with this character. An often misunderstood trait of autism is internal empathic accuracy. This means we make superb social psychologists or are astute in predicting another person’s thoughts and feelings. We are agile in these insights because of our pattern recognition. When we find out we have the traits of autism, we then wonder if this is just another one of our adaptations.

2. We are lateral thinkers. Our superior lateral abilities generate multiple relevant possibilities for any problem. So we hypothesize what we might actually be and come up with many alternatives. Even if autism perfectly describes us, we may still have doubts because some of our behaviors can be attributed to other conditions.

3. Medical professionals do not recognize adult autism, especially late-diagnosed adult autism. Many people I assess describe being turned away by assessors, mocked by health care practitioners when they propose the possibility of autism. There is an acute absence of understanding that our preferred job choices tend to be actors, healthcare workers.

4. Some conditions often co-occur with autism, such as ADHD and alexithymia. This can cause confusion and feelings of being an impostor post-diagnosis since we may not neatly fit the description of autism. Quite possibly, it’s more than just autism that will comprehensively account for our behaviours and feelings. Until we find out what that is, we can still have doubts about our diagnosis.

5. We don’t fit the stereotypes. Sheldon Cooper, Spock, and The Good Doctor are popular TV characters that have greatly influenced the public perception of autism. Yet we often don’t fit these stereotypes. I identified with Deanna Troi, an empath from Star Trek, more than anyone else. Her job was to inform the captain of what other people were feeling and predicting their actions. Research shows that we excel at that. Yet most people will choose Spock—not Deanna Troi—as the most likely autistic on Star Trek.

6. With 90% of funding and websites focusing on autism in children, people do not know our traits. We are not children. People don’t understand how we make it to adulthood without being identified. I can tell you. We act and simulate neurotypical behaviour. We learn from the looks on people’s faces, and we alter our behaviour.

7. Our loved ones tell us that we cannot be autistic. In my journey of processing and understanding, I failed to understand that everyone close to me was also reevaluating their perceptions. They, too, were going back in time and having similar revelations. While we often turn to our loved ones for validation, this is an impossible thing to ask of them. More beneficial is to talk to other autistics or an autistic therapist.

8. Until recently, autistic females without an intellectual disability were often misdiagnosed or overlooked. Irrespective of gender, autistic people without high support needs or who otherwise defy the public or even clinical perception of autism are frequently misdiagnosed. It can obviously create a lot of doubt when medical professionals you assume understand these conditions, tell you that you are something you are not.

The full article will be below:

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi, I'm a system and have mutliple other disorders. All "cis" if you will. I'm not here to shame anyone but I would genuinely like to know how this makes sense to you? I want to know your persepctive because I don't understand and maybe I can get some more insight from someone else. I feel invalidated when people talk about endogenic and "transsystems" because my disorder is not an aesthetic and I had to go through so much trauma that turned me into who I am today and not in a good way. It's painful and it hurts when I see people making fun of my experience by saying they've acquired their system "naturally" even though that's not how the disorder works (By "making fun of" I mean that's how it feels). It also feels transphobic to hijack trans wording such as "cis" and "trans" even though disorders are different to gender. Gender is a social construct and disorders are just not. They can't go away, they can't change. I can never get my childhood back and I struggle to be able to be myself with my Autism and ADHD, I find it hard to keep relationships from the immense anxiety I've gotten from my CPTSD symptoms and the chronic mistrust I've had to develop to survive. I guess I just want to ask why? Why you believe in these things? It's not that I hate you, I don't, I genuinely want to understand because currently I feel hurt, and upset, and made fun of in a way I've never felt before and I just want to know the logic and reasoning behind this kind of stuff before I make a judgement.

This is an old post, so it's entirely possible you've already made up your mind on these issue now. But either way, I decided I might as well answer now

Personally, I feel these are different subjects.

First...

Disorders Are a Social Construct

Not in the same way as gender or race, mind you.

Rather, disorders are bureaucratic labels tacked onto symptoms. These symptoms may or may not actually be related.

We live in a universe with DID and OSDD-1 are considered separate disorders. But it doesn't have to be like that. Maybe in another universe, they would be the same disorder.

Or, maybe in one universe, DID wouldn't exist and OSDD-1a and 1b would be two separate disorders, with DID just being the comorbidity between these two things.

Maybe your ADHD would actually be branded as a type of autism, or autism could still be considered a classification of Schizophrenia. Many psychiatrists actually dislike the disorder model, and would prefer focusing on individual symptoms instead.

Also, some disorders can go away, and some disorders can change. Well, the diagnosis will still remain, but that's more another matter of the bureaucracy. If you're depressed for two weeks, you get a diagnosis. Then the symptoms can go away for 30 years, but you'll retain that diagnosis forever.

I Think You Can Experience Dysphoria For Anything

The reason I feel how I do on transX identities is because I've seen people in the plural community with memories of living completely different lives. People who feel uncomfortable with every aspect of the body they inhabit.

I've personally felt inadequate for lacking the intelligence and education of my source.

I know some who feel phantom limb-like experiences relating to parts they never had like wings and tails.

And psychologists have acknowledged and researched BIID, where people will feel like they should have a certain physical condition.

And so I totally believe it's possible to have dysphoria for anything, including mental conditions you don't have. It doesn't make rational sense why someone would want certain conditions, but the brain rarely makes rational sense and it would be a mistake to assume it needs to.

Endogenic Systems Are Different

I don't believe endogenic systems are a result of or related to dysphoria at all, outside of transplurals.

I believe endogenic plurality is a naturally occurring condition. We can see this in the ease of which people are able to divide themselves into parts in Internal Family Systems. The autonomy of imaginary friends as children. And the fact that many unrelated cultures around the world have reported nonpathological spiritual possession through history.

Most endogenic plurality isn't people who feel like they need to be plural or feel dysphoric for being a singlet. It's just a different experience that's been largely ignored by psychology until the past decade.

I've been collecting studies on these various phenomena here:

Personally, I find the imaginary friend studies most interesting. In the past, it was assumed that imaginary friends were purely controlled by the child hosts, but more evidence keeps stacking up showing that this isn't the case and that these are natural fully autonomous agents.

These experiences have been ignored by psychiatry for a long time because they just weren't pathological, and they were hidden enough that psychiatry could dismiss them as just pretend or fake.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #transx #transid #transabled #sysblr #rad inclus #multiplicity

[alpaca-clouds]

Living with AuDHD

I wanna talk about something a bit more personal this week. Because I think it is something that a lot of people still know painfully little about. Not on my personal level, of course, but in general.

I have AuDHD. Meaning: Autism and ADHD. Which often goes hand in hand (by now it is assumed that about 50% of all people with ADHD are also somewhere on the autistic spectrum). To be quite honest with you: ADHD is exhausting. Autism is, too, but only because the fucking society does not show any fucking understanding for it.

I did not get diagnosed as a child. Mostly because I was a "gifted" kid, and my mother liked having a "gifted" kid more than having an autistic kid. (This is your frank reminder, that there is quite a high likelihood that there are in fact no "gifted" kids, only neurodivergent kids whose brains are wired a bit differently, allowing them to process information in a different way as well.)

And sure, by some standards I am "gifted". When I am interested in something, I will just gobble up that information. My historical knowledge comes from this. History is interesting to me. So, sure, I can give you names and dates and can draw you freaking maps by heart.

Same of course with fandom stuff. I will just absorb all that information about a fandom. I will just read through the wiki, and just... absorb it. Really.

There is of course other stuff. I perceive space very differently from neurotypical (and even some other neurodiverse) people. Which is useful for navigation.

But there is of course just... the other stuff. Because this world is not designed with people like me in mind. Working 9-5 just does not really work for me. Often enough my brain is just unwilling to focus on work for that long. Even with ADHD medication it just does not work out. Especially given that work often is stuff I am not terribly interested in, so my brain is kinda like: "Fuck this shit."

And if course there is just the interpersonal stuff. People tend to be assholes towards neurodiverse people, because we do not stick to those social scripts they are aware of, but we just are close to unable to learn. I am gonna talk about this a bit more tomorrow, but... yeah, the tl;dr is, that people think it is totally fine to bully us and harass us, because we do things they do not understand.

This also leads to us often having big issues with self-confidence, struggle with self-doubt and are often fearful of social situations. Not just because they tend to be exhausting, but also because we will get confronted there for breaking rules, we do not know about.

So... yeah. You know. I would not want to be "cured", because there is nothing fucking wrong with me. I just want the fucking society to understand me.

#personal #disablity #autism #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #adhd #audhd