#i just love nico hes so sad and traumatized | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

0lshadyl0 · 10 months

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Any HCs or scenarios on Yandere Hancock boa ?? I think she an interesting character 🥰

Of course, my dear, she is a fascinating character, in fact, she is my favorite female character after Nico Robin, I am weak to black haired women with cool powers and sad past.

Yandere Boa Hancock headcanons

• Brave of you to assume that she is not a yandere in the canon, that is, she has all the points to follow for her character to be a yandere, especially a delusional yandere

• sad past with traumatic events, no friends, position of power, no one contradicts her, she gets lost in her own fantasies, lives in her own reality and obsesses over a person beyond what is sanely possible, yeah she checks all the marks

• But, she would only become obsessed with her romantic interest if he has a very specific personality (for example, Luffy)

• Ok, let's say that the key for her to fix her eyes on you is that you have heroic tendencies, that is, she likes people with a good heart, willing to do what others would consider crazy in order to help others. the others (such as hitting a Tenryūbito, better yet, killing one)

• or just a very kind person with a great charisma, very positive mind but who doesn't take shit from anyone

• if things happened naturally, I'm pretty sure Hancock would be obsessed with a woman, Luffy is an exception to the rule (call it the power of the script thanks to being the protagonist of the series)

• Let's remember that the first men in her life that she met were the Tenryūbito and they are the worst experiences that a young woman like Boa could have, emotionally, physically and sexually (I'm 200% sure that she was raped by a good number of them, that's why despite being in love with Luffy she never sees herself having children with him… probably she can't even get pregnant due to irreparable damage to her sexual organ or simply they removed the ovaries so that she could not get pregnant by the Tenryūbito since she was a slave and the slaves are not worthy of having a child with a being as noble as a Tenryūbito is)

• Anyway, when she fixes her eyes on you, in her head she already begins to live in a world apart

• You've probably seen each other a maximum of five times and most of it in battles, possibly you saved her from some dangerous situation but not paying much attention to her, but in her head, you two are already engaged

• Yes, she is the type of women who, from a very young age, dreamed of getting married and having a large family full of love, a dream that has been transformed into only having a partner to love and be loved by because of the Tenryūbito and all their shit

• She is a relatively easy yandere to deal with, since the word of her s/o is divine law for her, she will never question you, nor will she go against you, she will not hesitate to put herself in danger or give her life for you, she literally will kill for you

• But, keep in mind, she is very jealous and in an unjustified way, nobody can look at you because she is already asking questions and imagining scenarios where you abandon her.

• Because, despite all that she says about being the most beautiful woman in the world, she actually has low self-esteem due to her past as a slave, she doesn't feel that she is worthy of you, because she is dirty

• But if you tell her that you are not interested in that person or deny knowing about the existence of the person who made her jealous, she will believe you without a shadow of a doubt.

• You can tell her that the sky is green and for her, yes, ultimately the sky is green and she will turn anyone who says otherwise into stone

• She is a stalker, she will follow you everywhere and will always be watching you, of course, at a respectful (Hinata-Naruto style) distance if the two of you get into a relationship, she will stick to you like gum, she is unbelievably clingy and has no idea of the meaning of personal space

• She is one of the few yanderes who have no sexual intentions, because she is traumatized with sex (she has never known about vanilla sex or consent) and considers it torture, she loves you too much to do you any kind of harm

• Oh, but if she were to get over her traumas and discover that sex can be enjoyed and is a way to stay connected to the one she loves, man, get ready for a long ride

#shady answer #one piece #yandere one piece #yandere posts #one piece headcanons #yandere x reader #yandere hancock #yandere boa hancock #yandere boa hancock x reader #one piece imagine #one piece boa hancock #boa hancock

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yonemurishiroku · 1 year

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I will admit, even I was thrown off by Nico's new characterization in TSATS, and I have always been lenient when it comes to him.

It's new and unfamiliar. That's a fact. This Nico comes forth like the mixture of that ten-year-old child who told Dr. Thorn to "shove that army---" and the thoroughly traumatized world savior with mental illness to boost.

That is to say, in hindsight, I do think it makes sense.

Firstly, I think we are all forgetting the fact that Nico is, in fact, one who changes the most throughout the series.

Seriously. He went from an innocent, enthusiastic, annoying ten-year-old to a depressed kid blindly looking for his sister in a matter of a few months (IIRC). He, fortunately, got his head out of that and started to get a little happier after Kronos, and then came back even more depressed. A little cold as times when he fought Bryce and Octavian.

Nico is so many things. He is a complex character whose character development fluctuates like a rollercoaster and every facet of his being is a kaleidoscope. If I want to describe him, I'd have to ask first, Which, or rather When, is the Nico I want to dissect?

Secondly, although Rick doesn't spell it out for us, it's clear that Nico has changed. He has healed - surely not fully, but he did heal. And the absence of the usual traumas is new.

Before, all we have come to see of Nico have been blinded by Nico's negative feelings. Even in Nico's POV - scratch that, especially in Nico's POV - we see his traumas weigh on the ten-year-old child that had died the same day Bianca did, and all the rage, sadness, sorrows that are born from said traumas. It's like a veil. It twists my vision. I suppose I have grown accustomed, perhaps attached, to that Nico.

In TSATS, however, canonically, Nico has had a chance to heal.

And seriously, Rick isn't faultless to dump that all to us with no insight into how, exactly, Nico has healed. His healing process is literally just telling and not a bit of showing. It's too fast. It's more like a jump and not a process. Technically, it is. It's only natural that some would feel weirded out when suddenly the grumpy ball of darkness starts making jokes at the same frequency as Leo McSizzle and wants to date Darth Vader.

Nevertheless, when I accept that Nico has healed, it became a lot easier to accept. I've come up with many visions of What if Bianca didn't die and that ten-year-old Nico got to grow up the way he was? Looking back now, perhaps this new Nico in TSATS could have been one among those visions.

He likes a card game. He memorizes his cards down to every stat. He makes jokes with multiple references. He's delighted at Percy's greenish wounds. He thinks Darth Vader is boyfriend material. He asks stupid (but legit) questions. He comes up with adorably dumb names.

I cannot say I enjoy all of Nico's new development, be as it may. I absolutely cannot wrap my head around the Lil Nas X reference. But I like Cocoa Puffs as names for your inner demons.

I think I can grow to love this Nico, too.

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #yone rambling #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #the sun and the star #the sun and the star: a nico di angelo adventure #tsats spoilers #tsats

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aleksa-sims · 4 months

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Simself Story

CW: addiction, pregnancy, cheating, divorce

I told him... 😢🤦‍♀️

As the sun slowly rose after we talked all night about what Daniel has experienced the last 4 months, it was my turn, to tell him what I did, while he was gone...

What I can say? 😞... He was devastated. It wasn’t really my pregnancy or the fact that I get a baby by someone else, what has made him so upset, but rather the... circumstances that led to it and how it all came about. All our probs were caused by that damn attack/assault on us, 8 months ago. This thing has traumatized us. We both had difficulty processing it.

My parents told him I was dating Nico. The day he came back, he talked to them. He asked questions. And now, D. wanted to know from me, why I even met Nico? Did I call him? Or he me? How did we get there? Well, the stranger I met online... 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: He did it all on purpose! He pretended to be a stranger playing Sims with you. I mean how sick is that?... Did you know it was him? Did you lie to me? Be honest!

Me: No, I swear I didn't know!!! You know the whole story, I showed you everything he texted me. And he didn’t plan on breaking us up. He never meant to see me, he knew I loved you and we were married. He even helped me make up with you. It wasn’t until weeks after you left, that Nico started giving me more and more clues about his true identity. Listen D., he tried to distract me. I was always sad. I was looking for you everywhere with Alex. I was devastated! And I also relapsed, really bad, I fucked up sm. 🤦‍♀️😞

Daniel: You want to divorce me. Everything breaks dwon.... This is worse than the shit my crazy mother did to me. You and me... that wasn’t planned to end this way! It should never end!

Me: I'm so sorry. I don’t want it to end either. That’s why I married you, I love you, but-...... how’s this gonna work?

Daniel: You love him, not me! Otherwise, you’d just stay here. But you decided to divorce me and start a new life with him. So go! Go to him!..... What the fuck are you waiting for?

Me: No, I’m not leaving. I can’t leave you alone now. I’ll stay with you, as long as you need me.

Daniel: Damn, stay away from me!!.... Leave me alone, or I might say something I don’t want.

I couldn’t leave him alone. So I just stood aside somewhere in a corner, looking down, while Daniel left the living room. I touched my belly. I apologized to my Baby for the hatred I felt for myself at that moment. I was disgusted with myself. I resented myself for constantly repeating the same, damn mistakes. I never wanted to hurt Daniel!! He deserved me to stay with him and live our fucking lives the way it used to be. I have to find a solution!

Half an hour later, I went over to Daniel to look after him. And.....huh? Is Daniel cuddling his old teddy bear??? 🤨😄

Me: Daniel?..You ok?... You... need a huggie? 😳😬

Daniel: Nah, I just don't wanna see you. And why's that old dust catcher here? He also smells like you.

Me: I found him at your house the last time we were there. Your sister said it was yours once. And the other day when I was home, I found him in my closet. I gave him a little makeover. I cleand him and put some of my perfume on him. And yea, he's cute I wanted to keep him.

Daniel: I hate that teddy bear. He disappointed me when I was 7, just like you now. 😒

Me: Um... that's just a toy, Daniel. How can a teddy bear disappoint you? 🤨

Daniel: I got him when I was five. My crazy mother kept locking me in the closet as you know. He was my bud, who was allowed to accompany me. And whenever I was alone in our damn house, I was less afraid, bcs he was there too. But on my 7th birthday I found out who gave me that teddy bear. It was one of those damn witches my mother met at her fucking clut-parties. That woman also told me my teddy bear was not a boy as I thought, it was a girl! She showed me the label. And well, at 7 I could read. The label said, "Susi the bear." I was totally disappointed. He wasn’t my friend anymor, just a fucking traitor! A damn witch, Susi, like one of my mothers odd followers. 😠

Me: Sorry. I didn’t know, I’m gonna put him away. 😞

Daniel: Take it with you! Maybe your soccer player's gonna be happy about it. Kind of like a trophy for him. He’s an athlete, he should like that. 🤷‍♂️

Me: I’ll save your old teddy bear for my Baby. I thought one day, we could give it to our own baby, but if I had only guessed, I would be pregnant by someone else.... I-...agh, Daniel. I'm so sorry. I wish it was.................... otherwise. 😢I could stay with you, but what should I say to Nico? I can’t hurt him, and I don’t want to hurt you either. Really not! But I’ll find a solution. I won’t let you down.

Daniel: I don’t want....your solution. I want my girl to myself. I'm not gonna share you with him. I ain't like Philip, damn it! So just go!

I went out to our roof. I wanted to take Daniel’s laundry off the cloth-line. I wanted to help him and be there for him. But Daniel was annoyed.

Daniel: Hey! Don't you hear?... What are you still doing here?

Me: I wanna be there for you. I’m just helping you.

Daniel: I don’t need you as a cleaning lady or maid! I need my... wife!

Me: I’m not going! This is my home too!

Daniel: Fine! I’ll give you an hour. If you’re still there, I’ll lock the door. Then, you really have to stay here,.... overnight! I won’t unlock the door until tomorrow.🤨

Me: I have a key, you smart guy. 😒

Daniel: Not anymore, know-it-all. 🤨 Besides, I’m stronger than you.

Me: You’re gonna handcuff me?

Daniel: The clock's ticking. One hour! Decide!

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #cw divorce #cw pregnancy

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sahaias · 2 months

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Soy Luna Ep 32-51 Thoughts

Yeah, I really am getting through this show fast. I used the 4 days I had off this week to binge the show lol. I normally have 3 days off, but I took one day of vacation because I was exhausted. I don't have any normal hobbies because I work nights, so I'm stuck with media consumption and cooking for the most part.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT KISS, MATTEO? It's not even a good "surprise kiss". Luna looked traumatized and was clearly angry afterwards. Compare it to Violetta and Leon where she was very happy it happened, and it's insane how they want us to root for Matteo. I can tell they're trying to tone him down, but I still don't like him. The whole bravado aspect of his personality is tiresome and not cute or charming

Simon contradicted himself with the "you won't lose me, Luna" after seeing the kiss. But I'll cut him a break bc it's tough to be friends with people you have feelings for, especially when you're only like 18. His new GF, Daniella, doesn't seem like a good person though, sadly. I hope his future relationships are much better

Sharon Benson is a horrible person, and I genuinely feel bad for Ambar for the absence of any parental love or concern in her life. It's clear Ambar sabotages Luna because she envies her and sees her as someone who gets/has everything she (Ambar) wants. Ambar's schemes are way less ludicrous and more believable than Ludmilla's.

Gaston having a bunch of girls chase after him is honestly super believable and funny tbh. He actually reminds me of one dude I knew who was really well-liked for being handsome and smart in high school. Also, one of the few popular people I knew who didn't post everything on IG and judge others based on that

Tino and Cato's idiocy is annoying, I've said this already. But I want to see more of the side characters who are actually interesting. I will give Soy Luna credit that it gives the side characters more plotlines than Violetta seemingly

I do not have strong feelings on Jim and Nico, but I can kind of buy it. Jim still has more chemistry with Yam.

Yam, on the other hand, I cannot see as being into Ramiro. Sorry, but she gives off 100% lesbian vibes. No way she's into men lol. Jim I can see being bi, but no way I see that with Yam.

Ricardo and Tamara I just do not see working out, but it sucks that Tamara's ex won't respect their relationship and give them space. I can already tell they're trying to set him up with Mora for the future with them having the whole gaming interest in common

It's realistic but also kinda sad how Nina's whole relationship with Xavi fizzled out the moment they could only talk online, but it reminded me a lot of how many friendships I've had online fizzle out

And now I have to sleep and prep for work tomorrow night, it's going to be a long week.

#disney soy luna #soy luna #luna valente #ambar smith #matteo balsano #simon alvarez #gaston batton #jimena medina #nicolas navarro #ramiro ponce #yamila sanchez #ricardo simonetti #tamara rios #ana valparaiso #nina simonetti

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redhead-batgal · 2 years

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Heyy

Glad to see ya back!! Really love your writinggg

If I may request older!Damian x reader where they were together then she 'dies' but not really... Like he thinks she died - and was completely heartbroken - but she's actually alive... And they're reunited by coincidence... And he breaks down seeing her, thinking at first he's hallucinating.

I hope you got what I mean bc I'm awful at explaining :')

Thanks anyway, can't wait to read more of your writing!!

Type: One-Shot

Pairing: Vigilante! Reader x Older! Damian Wayne/ Robin

Content: cursing, some violence, memory loss, might traumatize some

Word Count: 3,174

P.S: Soooo I kinda changed the request but that was mainly due to the need to write this amnesia! reader and relive my percy jackson obsession days. (If you know you know) sooo yeah sorry, not so sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up with a splitting headache in a hospital with machines screaming and pulsing, you didn't know what to do. For one you didn't remember- well you didn't exactly remember anything. All you could remember was someone shouting a name. A name you assumed was your own.

The agonizing screams seemed to haunt your dreams, waking you always were shaken with the screams still in your ears. What seemed the worst about screams was not that they still echoed in your ears but that you weren't scared when you heard them. No, your heart seemed to ache and part of you-almost all of you yearned to stop the persons screams. To stop and comfort them, to let him know you were alright and alive, and he had no reason to scream.

He... he it was a he? This person from your dreams, this person who knew you before you lost everything seemed to care for you so- that he screamed almost bloodcurdlingly your name.

It hurt, so badly to know someone out there might love or care about you so much.

Sitting in the homeless shelter you stared at the wall as the screams still echoed in your ears. A hand pressed onto your shoulder you blinked and found a fellow street kid, Saph.

"You alright Y/N?"

You nodded slowly.

"I think," you began, "I've got a clue into my past."

They blinked and sank down next to your eyes wide. Ever since you entered the home, they had been kind and loving to you.

"What did you figure out?"

You sighed and squeezed your hands together.

"The voice I hear, the screams... it's a guy. I know that much... I don't know who or what yet and- and I just know he loved me. And, and it kind of hurts."

Saph let out a sigh and squeezed your shoulder sniffing. They tended to be very empathetic. So much so they would cry if you said anything slightly sad.

"So, you know it's a he, and he loved you?"

You nodded, "Yeah, he really really loved me."

Saph raised their head suddenly and looked at you.

"Do- do you know if he's alive?"

You passed and your heart ached.

"I don't know... I think he might be hurt or dead, but I don't know, and I'm really really worried liked what if he died during the- the."

"The what Y/N?"

The sound of a T.V crackling on caused you flinch and you blinked staring at the wall as you almost saw a face.

"Uh.. the- I don't know."

Shaking your head, you place your face into your hands and sighed. Why could you remember? Why was all of it faded, blurry or not there at all.

"It'll be okay Y/N, you'll remember eventually. Remember what the doc said? It will all come back you just gotta give it time."

There was a sound on the t.v, loud a lot like when something hits the ground but stronger... more destructive almost. Like boom... boom- EXPLOSION!

"Explosion." you muttered, "it was an explosion."

"Explosion? IS that what caused your memory loss?"

You nodded, "I- I think so."

"Yes, my father and I will be visiting shelters to see how the new implemented technology is working."

The voice-it seemed so familiar, and you blinked turning around to see Nico sitting in front of the t.v. A boy-well man a little older then you thought you were was on the screen. He looked upset and his eyes were loaded with bags covered by crappy makeup.

Your heart leapt and you launched yourself forward to Nico's side. He flinched and you pointed a the t.v. your chest aching and eyes stinging.

"Is- is this recent?"

Nico looked at the screen then back at you and nodded slowly, "this is live Y/N."

Live- live alive. Oh god.

Your throat burned and your eyes stung worse as water-tears streamed down your face and your knees went weak. Your body sank towards the floor and your heart and soul seemed to sing. To be lighter then before.

"Y/n!" Saph exclaimed rushing over to you, "Are you alright?"

You nodded then shook your head.

"I don't know I think so. i-I'm better relieved and and I don't know why."

Saph looked at the tv and tilted their head. Them hummed before looking back at you.

"Didn't they say you were found near Gotham?"

You shrugged wiping your nose as you tried to avoid looking at the t.v. but your mind kept drawing you back to it.

Nico had paused whatever he was watching, and the man sat frozen looking away from the screen his green eyes sad and blank. Sad, why was he so sad?

"Do- do you think he's the guy?"

You blinked looking away from the screen to see both Saph and Nico staring at you. You shrugged.

"I- i honestly don't know... what- what's his name?"

"Damian, Damian Wayne. He's the prince of Gotham Bruce Wayne's son."

You blinked a few times before looking to Saph.

"Doesn't Wayne industries fund this shelter?"

Saph nodded and you furrowed your brow. Sinking onto your but. Damian, Damian, Damian. it just sounded so right.

"If he's the guy we should call him up! Tell him you're here. Maybe you can figure out more about your past." Nico offered.

You shook your head. You- you couldn't risk it. Not if it wasn't. If you got your hopes up only to have them, come crashing down... it would break your heart.

"I- It might not be him. They might just look really similar. We don't know. and and I don't want to bother anyone if we're wrong." You said, "like Saph said I just have to wait. Eventually my memories will return."

Saph and Nico gave you strange look and you pushed yourself off of the floor. Everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be alright you knew it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You couldn't sleep. The sound of his voice screaming that heart breaking scream of your name seemed too now be on repeat. All you could think about was the pain he was in, and how sad he looked... but that wasn't him right? There was no way the boy who screamed your name so passionately was the son of the most notorious playboy in Gotham. Wait... how did you know that? You barely even knew who Bruce Wayne was till today. How did you know he was a playboy? What was going on?

You mind screamed and fought with itself and you became almost certain that the boy's voice in your head was none other then Damian Wayne's.

Fidgeting in your bed you realized you weren't going to sleep. Not until you saw him, not until he knew what you knew. That the both of you were alive.

But-but why would he think you're dead... you thought he was dead, so he thought you were? You didn't like not knowing. Not understanding why this boy made your chest ache and heartbeat so fiercely. Or why the sound of his cry made you want to scream and shout and sob.

Pushing yourself from you bed you nodded. The only logical conclusion was to go and find him in Gotham. What else could you do? It's true you said to Saph and Nico you'd wait but-but your reasoning skills had a habit of fading during the night and for some reason your blood always pumped faster, and adrenaline coursed through you.

Moving towards the office of the manager of the shelter you knocked gently. The light inside flickered before you saw Sheran's weary face.

"Hey kiddo what's up."

You winced before quickly explaining everything to her. She blinked and nodded slowly. Rubbing her forehead, she shrugged.

"It can't be helped; you need to go. Going to Gotham might speed up your recovery process. I can send you there with some money. But I don't know where you're going to stay."

Your stomach swirled with excitment and you gave her a smile.

"I'm sure I'll figure it out. Thank you so much!"

She shrugged before patting your head, "It's nothing kiddo. I'm assuming you want to leave now."

You nodded and she sighed again. Moving back into her office she yanked open a drawer, pulling out a wad of paper and a strange rectangular thing she handed both to you.

With the paper in your hands, you were able to identify it as cash. And a lot of it. The rectangle though it- it was a taser. You didn't know how you knew but you did.

"A taser? Are you sure I can take this?" You asked

Sheran blinked before nodding slowly, "yeah I have a few extra lying around you're fine to take that one... I'm a bit surprised you know what is though. But if you are from Gotham, it makes a bit more sense."

With that she smiled and hugged you tightly before sending you on your way.

The train ride to Gotham seemed long, very long but for some reason you knew you had been on longer trips. Laughter echoed in your ears and the second you entered Gotham you spotted buildings with way too familiar graffiti and bat symbols that seemed to put you at ease.

The second your feet hit the pavement; you knew something just felt right. The smell, though it was musty and reeked of oil and a little of death it was comforting in how familiar it felt.

Leaving the train station, you made you way down some streets that seemed right. But you ended up in a grimy and dark alley. With the sun fading in the sky, you knew you had to find somewhere to crash for the night.

Maybe you could find another shelter? You didn't know, but it was getting late, and your nerves were beginning to tense.

You turned to leave when you heard a soft meowing. Turning back around you spotted a small kitten poking its head out from in between two trashcans. Its bright green eyes glimmered at you and black fur seemed familiar. Walking towards the cat you crouched down and held out your hand.

"Hello there," You mumbled.

For a moment, the cat just stared at you. But then, but then it slowly moved towards you. Finally stopping at your hand. You moved it a bit closer, and the cat let out another meow before beginning to purr and press its body against your hand. You smiled, something about this causing your heart to slow and chest to ache.

"Little kitten- oh there you are... what do we have here?" A soft voice remarked causing you to look up.

A dark-haired woman in an almost black outfit looked you up and down. Her eyes glimmered as she almost smiled, staring at you and the cat.

"Uh, hi." You began weakly as the cat crawled into your arms, "is this your cat?"

The woman blinked looked you over and nodded slowly.

"Yes, he is mine... are you alright?"

Something in you settled almost as if you knew you could trust this woman and you shook your head.

"I- I don't have anywhere to stay and I don't really know where I am... do you know where the nearest shelter is?"

The woman smiled before tilting her head.

"No, but I have a better idea. Since you helped me find my cat. You can stay with me. And tell me about this situation you've found yourself in why don't you?"

You hesitated for a moment, but the cat purred in your arms and everything about this seemed safe and right. You nodded slowly rising.

"O-okay. I- I'm Y/N what's your name?"

The woman smiled before looking you over once again.

"Selina, I think we will have much to talk about. This way."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Selina was very kind, giving you a place to stay and hearing out your entire story. She seemed interested and concerned. And she was very helpful. When you explained that you were looking for someone and who, she informed you about the Waynes.

"They aren't terrible people just terribly wealthily. And the youngest Damian and his father currently are out on business."

You shrank into yourself. So, he wasn't here. Great. This whole trip seemed to be a waste. Though meeting Selina was rather nice.

You sighed, pulling your legs to your chest as you watched the sun rise. Nerves and disappointment had kept you up all night. Somewhere around two, Selina left. You assumed she thought you were asleep. Mainly because when she returned, just as the sun fully rose into the sky, she seemed surprised to see you staring out the window.

"Did you sleep at all kitten?"

You shook your head; you hadn't told her exactly everything but a big chunk of what had happened to you.

"I remember one thing," You began, hearing her set things down, "One thing about my past and it's not even really a thing. Just a voice, a voice screaming my name. Or at least I think it's my name. They sound so scared- so heartbroken. And and I just want to tell them I'm alright. To let him know I'm alive so he doesn't need to be scared anymore. But- but I can't remember. I can't remember who he really is or who I am. I can't remember why he should be so scared for me and it... it makes me lose sleep. Because the only thing I can seem to hear is that scream."

Selina had gone quiet, then you heard her footsteps as she approached you. Something was slid across your shoulder, and you watched as a long rectangular paper fell into your lap. A ticket, a ticket to take you back to the shelter. Back t Sheran and Saph and Nico. Back so you could remember in your own time.

"Thank you," You whisper as you heard her retreat, "thank you for all you've done for me. Even- even though I don't even know who you are."

Selina was still silent when the thought crossed your mind.

"You knew me, didn't you?"

"Not exactly kitten. Not exactly."

Looking behind you, you smiled.

"Well thank you anyways. I'm glad I was- I was able to know someone who at least kind of knew me."

You pushed yourself to your feet and began gathering your things. You went to walk out but paused by the door.

"Y/N," Selina said and your turned back, "that is your name. You don't need to worry about that."

You smiled and nodded before turning and walking out the door.

The train ride back seemed too fast, quickly passing through Gotham and its comforts. Passing through the city that was your home before you forgot everything. Taking you back to unknowing.

By the time you got back to the shelter everything was getting quiet and the sun was once again crisp on the horizon. You wander back in, greeting those you met and set your stuff on to your bed. Before you could unpack however Saph stopped you.

"Y/N! I'm so glad you're back, how was it?"

You shrugged before flopping onto your bed.

"I don't know. I didn't really learn anything. I mean unless you count knowing the name, I've been using is my name. But I already kinda knew that."

Saph nodded clearly half paying attention.

"That's nice, The Waynes are here."

You sat up looking them in the eyes, "what?"

"The Waynes, Bruce and Damian are here. Apparently, they put in this new tech in each shelter and the two of them have been going around making sure it's working properly. Have been for like a month. Ours is the last before they head back to Gotham."

You froze, your throat going dry as something in your head began to beat. Like a drum thumping and thudding over and over and over again. Your heart matched the beat, and your body went numb.

Thump

thump-thump

thump-thump-thump

thump-thump-thump-thump

thumpthump-thump-thump

thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump-

"Y/N, breathe come on it's okay."

You took in a breath and Saph let out a sigh of relief. They gave you a look before grabbing onto your hand and yanking you to your feet.

"Damian Wayne is alone in the therapy room right now. I think you should go talk to him."

You shook your head, and they began pulling you. You swallowed wanting to dig your feet in but Saph's hand were light and you knew they were right.

So, you let them pull you towards the room. Push the door open and shove you in.

The room was somewhat dark and sitting in a chair was him. He looked tired and broken. Staring at his phone he looked up and then back down only to double take. He stared at you for a moment before shaking his head.

"Are you-" You found yourself asking as you noticed his scratched knuckles and cut lip, "are you alright?"

"Just ignore it," He whispered to himself, "ignore it."

You took in a breath and took a step towards him. His voice-God, his voice sounded so different and so similar that scream.

"I hear you," You whispered, "in my head, screaming. And I know it's you and you're here and alive."

"She's not here, she's dead it's not real, it's not real it's not real-"

Your heart screamed and you felt something in you break as you slammed your fists against the table.

"I am real!" You snapped causing him to look at you.

Panting you shook your head and he swallowed, looking at you as if he finally saw you.

"I remember hitting my head," You began waving your hands around. "an explosion and you- you screaming my name and I remember to knowing who you were or why you were screaming my name just that you were worried and scared and that you loved me."

" I remember hearing your voice and seeing your face on the t.v. and realizing that you were the voice in my head. I remember seeing the sadness in your eyes and my heart aching and crying because you were alive but you were so sad. I remember wanting to make that sadness go away." You rambled

Damian stared at you his eyes wide and you pressed on. The door behind you creaked open but you ignored it.

"But I don't remember who I am, I don't really remember anything just that I loved you and hated to hear you crying my name in such a way. I remembered you and and how much you loved me, but I don't know who I am, I don't know anything. I know I love you but but-" You broke off shaking you head as you watched tears spill down his face and hot ones stain your cheeks.

"Who am I? Who- Who am I? Please please tell me. Who am I? "

Tag List:

@andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @daemonnix96 @zvtanna @krswrites @thefallingstarlight @masset-fotia

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thesungod · 1 year

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tbh I love how cruel and terrifying Cupid is overall- like in HoH and in most myths, can't believe Apollo and Nico didn't get to bond over the fact that they were both traumatized by him- but then in his own story, Eros almost feels like an entirely different person. He's just sad and pathetic. Spends Psyche's entire quest going "I miss my wife :( how is she doing can I see her" and then repeatedly threatening the Olympians into helping her succeed so he can reunite with her. Is physically wounded by her betrayal of his trust and can only be healed with true love's kiss. Psyche's myth is the basis for one of the most famous love stories in the world, and Beauty and the Beast is forever ruined for Nico. I'm never getting over the fact that Eros is also pretty much the only god who has a faithful, healthy marriage and his full time job is wreaking havoc on literally everyone. He should drive Apollo up a wall.

he’s the “horrible mean guy who’s only kind to his wife” trope

and apollo should kill him

#kinda slay #ask

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doevademe · 2 years

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Now that I think about it. What would it be like? A PJO and HoO series in 2022 ? (cause let's be honest, the premise I'm gonna propose would never happen in the 2000s) the difference being that Nico is closer to Percy's age, he's still saved by him, still falls for him, gets to know each other better and become friends, Percy gets to realise he's attracted to boys too (specifically one devoted and sarcastic friend of his), Nico learns that even if Percy's brave and loyal (and dreamy) he's not perfect but still loves him with all his shortcomings, I imagine that here Nico deals better with Bianca's death, he's overall less traumatized than canon because this time around he's older and has a true friend in Percy (not that guilt filled bond they got in canon) he's still angry and sad and grieving but he's not alone in that, instead of this turning them against each other like attended in canon, it unites them and .... I'm rambling and saying too much on your own blog, but I really love your work and your vision of the characters so i really want your input on this, of you will 😅

I think what I amtrying to say is, I want to know what a relationship between Percy and Nico would look like if Nico was put in Annabeth's place as love interest? I don't like percabeth's dynamic, seems a good one between best friends but not as a couple, too mean spirited, whereas with Percico I think would be softer, cuter, fluffier even. Percy is caring and Nico loving and would actually blossom quicker I think than percabeth and putting them through Bianca's death, the great prophecy, Percy's disappearence, Tartarus ..etc would come up even angstier and heartwrecking! Do you see the missed opportunities, the potential, it just.....why isn't THAT the canon 😭 and I m sorry I ended up writing more 🙊

I hope you don't mind me saving your first ask (the prompt) for later, as I need to do some thinking and rereading for that one.

Like, I'm of two minds when it comes to Percy and Nico's canon relationship. On the one hand, I love how tempestous and filled with emotion it is. The reason it was so easy for Riordan to write Nico's feelings for Percy is because their relationship has always been portrayed as them being there for each other. When Nico is in danger, it is always Percy who worries and goes after him, and when Percy needs help, it's Nico who leaves everything behind for him. Their relationship is just perfect as is, except for the fact that it can't be romantic unless it's unrequited. Having them closer in age for me changes nothing, because what makes them work as a couple is not impeded by their age difference, but rather by authorial intent.

Nico is a plot device for Riordan. He knows or finds out about things because there needs to be someone to tell Percy, and Chiron, Annabeth, and the Olympians are perfectly happy keeping quiet. He gave Nico all the cool powers so he could gather info for Percy, and a penchant to help him when he needs it most, and then told everyone that it was just because he had a passing fancy on Percy and that his true love is the guy he never mentioned or noticed until the last book. That's a cop-out if I've ever seen one.

The issue with that intent is that Percy and Nico's interactions are just interesting to read and enjoyable. They talk and the scene becomes just about them. Annabeth and Rachel (Percy's actual love interests) stop existing for a while in BotL because Nico needs to talk about belonging. They can have a talk where the world is at stake, where they scare campers for fun, or where they talk about christmas gift shopping and it's the most enrapturing thing ever.

I mean, I already wrote a whole fic about rewriting PJO and HOO with Nico as Percy's love interest, so I think that answers your question of how I would do it, but writing them as a couple far earlier in the story requires more thought, because quite frankly, Nico and Percy are full of flaws and could easily make each other worse because of them. Nico expects Percy to read him like a book while also trying to keep his feelings hidden from him, and Percy expects Nico to just tell him stuff without having to ask and refuses to see hints. A healthy version of Percico while they are young can exist, and they'd be really happy, but it requires a lot of communication and maybe outside help.

That would make for a fantastic story in itself, because a Percy that loves Nico from the start would definitely get together with him as early as Battle of the Labyrinth, but to maintain that relationship and keep it healthy? They'd both have to grow a ton, and that's conflict, which makes for a good story.

#Percico #long post #analysis #I just... love these two so much #it's okay if you want to rant about them too #I'm right with ya

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theslythernfreak · 6 months

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

Ofc! Bit of a tough question since im a very indecisive person but I like answering q's like this so-

Dick Grayson- I am VERY emotionally attached to him. Had an instant crush on him when I first watched Teen Titans. He's such a complex character but also so fucking relatable?? I love him so much.His dynamics with other characters (especially his family) are very intriguing and he is such a lovable loser <3. I relate to his issues with his family in a way too so?? He's just cool.

Bakugou Katsuki - Complex character again. But also a fucking loser. I love him so much. His anger issues and his ideals are just? Very relatable to me? He is the PRIME example of gifted child burnout. His redemption(??) arc was just <33. He makes me so sad but fills me with unimaginable glee. His relationship with Deku is SO interesting to me but also makes me fucking miserable. Lovable weirdo

Zuko- COMPLEX CHARACTER AGAIN. HE MAKES ME FUCKING MISERABLE. UR FATHER HATES YOU BUT U WANT HIS LOVE. U LOVE UR MOTHER BUT SHE DISAPPEARS. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE CARED FOR. LIKE UGHHH. His redemption arc was so fucking GOOD. They did that so WELL. His struggle with being good and his struggle to not believe propaganda fed to him throughout his entire life? 10/10. I love him so much

Gojo Satoru - Complex character again. He makes me want to sob.He is the strongest. He is alone. His best friend turned traitor. His best friend died. His bests friend body is possessed. He can never trust anyone. He is the strongest. He will never be the same. -> But him going from "monkeys shudnt be our responsibility" to "its our responsibility" was excellent. It really showed the way Riko affected him. He's such a fucking loser, i love him.

Dean Winchester- Daddy issues GALORE. love him so so much. h is somehow v personal to me?? like he makes me SO SAD. he's SUCH a messed up person. i was a mother, i was a father, i was a brother, i was never a child. i sacrifice over and over again, i try so hard to be good. damn loser i love him <3.

Fushiguro Megumi- MY gay boy <3. i dont even wanna explain it i just adore him. he's strong, his first best friend(probably) died but he didnt, its OUR fault. i cant. i love him

Five Hargreeves- five the person that you are. unhinged asg. he loves his family, he HAS to save them, he is willing to do anything to save them, his family does not understand, he LOVES HIS FAMILY, he spent 45 years alone,he is a spiteful angry child and a lonely old man. i love him.

Roronoa Zoro- Literally screaming. he lost his friend, his rival, his idol,he was a lonely lonely child, he is loyal, he is determind, he WILL be the world's greatest swordsman, he is loyal. i dont know what to say. 10/10 character, legit amazing. he would hate me

Nico Di Angelo- i relate to him. i just,,,,love him so much. he is so traumatized?? his self worth issues are just?? very relatable.and every1 finds him to be a spooky little dude but he is an absolute loser to me so. i love him.

Kaz Brekker- unhinged. I love him and all his issues <3. i dont even know bro. he is just. epic to me.

#why do so many ppl on this list have daddy issues???#cuz i have daddy issues <3 #kaz brekker #nico di angelo #roronoa zoro #five hargreeves #fushiguro megumi #dean winchester #gojo satoru #zuko #bakugou katsuki #dick grayson

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tsukasageorge · 1 year

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9 12 18

9: What's your all time favourite movie/tv show?

sin WHY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 /lh

my all time favorite movie should be easy bc i don't watch movies! wait. actually. how do I pick between ghibli movies-

best non anime tv shows i've seen are lucifer and phineas & ferb (i do not watch non anime tv shows often)

top anime i've seen: okay so taking plot, characters AND artstyle into account, violet evergarden's probably at the top? tbhk is taking hold of me very fast but I like the manga more than the anime soo. yeah

12: Your favourite music genres?

is frobisher bay a music genre (I like most genres that aren't country)

18: Do you like reading? If yes what's your favourite book?

i LOVE reading i was that kid who took a book everywhere they went!

top 4.5 books recs:

Greetings From Witness Protection! - Jake Burt (middle grade): An orphan with kleptomania is tossed into a family running from the nation's most notorious criminals. She has to keep her new family, and herself, safe, but threats are always close behind, and one slip up could cost them their lives.

It's a fun, sweet novel with characters that I personally love. If you like found family, give this a read

Orbiting Jupiter - Gary Schmidt (YA/middle grade): I AM TAKING DAMAGE. A family takes in a traumatized 13-14 year old boy named Joseph, who has a bit of a criminal record, and a daughter that he's never even seen. Joseph wants to see her more than anything, but how much will it take to find her?

The story is told by his new younger brother and Joseph's only(?) friend. It's a fairly short read (<200 pages + large font). I love the writing style, the characters... yeah I really liked this one

This Savage Song/Our Dark Duet - V.E. Schwab (YA): A city divided and overrun with monsters. The daughter of a harsh ruler that vows to destroy the shadows and a monster that lurks in it. They have opposing goals, opposing backgrounds, but the city is dangerous all the same, and they share a common goal: they want to survive.

y'all know I love V.E. Schwab!! The first book does NOT focus on romance AT ALL which is great! The second book does have a little romance in it, but it's not the main focus of the story. If you're gonna read v.e. schwab's books I suggest starting with these two because. reasons. but yeah it's pretty tense and a bit sad. Nico read this one too, and he said "It's really good but so fucked up. I'm never reading it again"

bonus book rec: A Darker Shade Of Magic - V.E. Schwab (YA): I have DEFINITELY not gotten far enough into this book to give it any sort of proper review, but it's a fantasy trilogy about three parallel Londons and the Antari that can travel between them. I'm including it here because even though I haven't really read it, everyone who has tells me it's AMAZING, and that monsters of verity (prev rec) pales in comparison.

tysm for asking!!! sorry 4 writing a whole ass essay when u just wanted to know if I read or not 😭😭😭😭

#book recs

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achillesmonochrome · 1 year

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I posted 1,339 times in 2022

That's 517 more posts than 2021!

113 posts created (8%)

1,226 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@happyk44

@feralphoenix

@celepom

@athingofvikings

@kingburu

I tagged 964 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#the owl house - 346 posts

#toh - 333 posts

#luz noceda - 206 posts

#amity blight - 167 posts

#pjo - 145 posts

#lumity - 143 posts

#hoo - 142 posts

#heroes of olympus - 141 posts

#percy jackson and the olympians - 98 posts

#nico di angelo - 87 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#my first fandom was card captor sakura and it had a lot of new fics despite the fact that when i got there the show may had been over for

My Top Posts in 2022:

You cannot tell me if Amity and Luz ever got married, Amity wouldn’t change her name to Amity Noceda.

Like any obsessed fan that respects themselves, I project on the characters, and considering the shit Amity has lived for the name “Blight” the idea that she would want to drop any connection to that doesn’t surprise me.

And hey, what better name that the one from the love of your life?

163 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

I don’t know jackshit about fairies or the fae, BUT-

I like to think that the Fae can die, the reason they don’t is that no psychopomp, Death Deity or afterlife wants to mess with them, so they just keep living.

I found hilarious everyone being like "You know what? fuck this, the living can deal with it I will not have them here"

Bonus points to anyone who makes a story about the poor bastard who tried to take one to some afterlife and paid the consequences.

178 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

Honestly considering Hunter has been so isolated all his life, and he basically didn’t have a chance to interact with people his age (or see a lot of anything that wasn’t related to books or whatever Belos was teaching him) I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if having feelings for Willow is something that takes him a moment ot process because 1) He never had friends before 2) He hasn’t had a crush before.

Cue to Luz (aka someone who has been a romantic all her life) and decides to explain EVERYTHING about romance to Hunter.

He ends ups very flustered and mildly traumatized.

204 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

I may be the last person to realize this but-

Luz’s little fanfic as Luzura (including a doddle of her with Amity being like ‘wow‘) was written on Amity’s diary, this means now she can open her diary and see Luz’s little drawing, including the fact that she wanted to impress Amity.

Wonder how she feels about it.

209 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I am not sure if someone mentioned this before but, is Luz’s reaction on Reaching Out because people made her feel she should be over her dad’s dead?

I remember when I watched that episode that I related to the way Luz was behaving while talking about the death of her dad, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized why I related to that behaviour.

I am not going to go into my private life, but; did anyone (classmates, friends, maybe even a teacher) told Luz that she shouldn’t feel sad anymore?

Because the way she is reacting and how she was phrasing stuff makes me think that people either told her to not be sad about that.

And holy shit doesn’t that made really shows how fucked up things were for her back in her school.

461 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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11queensupreme11 · 2 years

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Facing my biology and Physics exams tomorrow. Can you give me motivational encouragements? 😭 I'm slowly losing hope rn. Also, can these people give motivational advices (regarding education & life) because idk if they're qualified 😂? Étienne, Alabaster, Lou, Essan, Drew, Nico, Sirius & Hecate 🧍 Thanks 😵 I'm going to die from fatigue before I could even get into my dream university 😭😭😭 (future teacher here–or maybe psychiatrist). On my senior year now, hopefully I don't fucked up🧍

PHYSICS??? Ew, don't make me barf anon 🤢

Also, half of the people you just listed would motivate you through verbal abuse or resort to illegal means but if that's what you want—

ÉTIENNE ROSER

"exams??? I have a better idea! Why don't you just quit school and focus on me for the rest of your life instead!" 🤗

"n-no...?? so... SO YOU DON'T LOVE ME, IS THAT IT????!!!!!"

And then he throws another temper tantrum and accidentally kills you, but hey! At least you don't have to do your exams anymore! Problem solved! 💖

ALABASTER C. TORRINGTON

motivational advice is useless to him! He would rather help you prepare instead ❤️

"you're gonna do great! i went over all the practice questions I gave you, and everything was right, you'll be fine dude, so go take a break. Want any ice cream???"

With Alabaster helping you, you'll most likely succeed ❤️ and when you go to him with high scores, he'll buy you more ice cream as a prize 😌

LOU ELLEN BLACKSTONE

She would hella relieved that you're only asking for motivational advice and not something like tutoring help because sis is just DONE with school

"oh you just need advice?? thank gods have you tried checking out Khan Academy?? they've got tons of easy-to-understand tutoring videos about all kinds of subjects for free!"

this is the most help she can give you. She'll feel bad about not doing anymore, but she's a runaway and dropout, so it's been a while since she's done anything school-related aside from the lessons camp would give her

ETHAN NAKAMURA

what have you done?? do you know what you just did by going to HIM for help??? did you learn nothing from all of his tutoring sessions with Percy??? the sword-fighting lessons with the kids???

"ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION, ANON, IT'S NOT THAT HARD! HOW DO YOU ESTIMATE THE FUCKING MAGNETIC FORCE F DUE TO EARTH'S MAGNETIC FIELD?! THIS IS SIMPLE PHYSICS! FOCUS, ANON, FOCUS!"

Congrats, anon, you just added ten more years of stress onto your life. And when Ethan's done torturing you, he'll demand payment since he's sick of having to help ppl for free. So not only did you suffer through the worst tutoring sessions ever, but now you're traumatized and broke 😔

ESMERELDA BLACK

she would try her best... would it be legal?? perhaps not, but it's the thought that counts!

"oooh! I have a better idea! How about, you take the exams and if you fail, I'll just break into the school and use magic to change your grades! Or, or!!! I can just use the Mist on the university you want to go to so they'll accept you!!! Yay, great idea, right??? ✨"

You just asked for simple advice, but Essie here is willing to go above and beyond. You'll agree to her idea, won't you? You wouldn't wanna make her sad, trust me...

DREW TANAKA

is also willing to resort to illegal methods but won't be as sweet about it as essie is

“seriously??? you need help on that? ugh, fine 🙄”

As uncaring as she sounds, she’ll definitely help you. Her first idea is to use Charmspeak on your teachers, but if that’s not what you want then she’ll try something more legal and preferable to your wishes. But she’ll be super tsunere about it hehe 😍

NICO DI ANGELO

He will straight-up give you a weird look because 1. why are you talking to him??? and 2. why would you go to HIM for advice???

“um... if you want, I can ask my dad if I can take you to the Underworld? You can ask Einstein to help you with physics and biology, he’s pretty good at that. As for advice, I know some dead philosophers???”

Essie raised him to be a good kid, so he’ll try to help you but his go-to answer is to raise the fucking dead— 💀

SIRIUS BLACK

Seriously??? The manchild??? You thought he would help you??

*after listening to your woes for a whole hour* “man that sounds awful... you wanna go shopping now?? you can carry my bags 😃”

Sirius rarely ever took school seriously and he’s loaded as fuck too so he never really had to worry about life in general, he’d LOVE to give you proper advise and help, but he’s just clueless 😔

HECATE

now come on, anon, you should know better than to go to hecate for something like this 😔 girl doesn’t even help her kids tie their shoes, you think she’s gonna help you for something school-related?? NAH

“I’m going to ignore everything you just said to me, alright, dear? Now here’s our lovechild *dumps a whole ass baby on you* have fun raising them on your own 💖”

Great. Now you’ve got exams to worry about and a demigod baby to take care of. Good luck trying to pass your classes while avoiding monster attacks 👍

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| essie series

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happymeishappylife · 5 months

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Books I Read in 2023 (Part 1)

1. Doctor Who: Web in Space by David Bailey

Ice Spider captures ship, Amy, Rory, and Doctor land on and try to help. Also attacked by Robots who then capture Doctor and TARDIS. With help from Messy a cute plumbing robot, they escape, save the spider and the human crew.

2. Odd Interlude by Dean Koontz (Special Story in between Novels 5 & 6)

I have to be honest, this threw me because it jumps back to invents prior to Book 5 fresh after Odd kills for the first time and while he is still trying to reconcile this it made the book hard for me. That and it’s the first and only time we’ve switched voices in the book and no offense, no 12-year-old, no matter how traumatized or amazing sounds like Jolie. Still it was a quick fast read and it explores a topic Koontz loves to visit in all his works which is Fort Wryven.

3. The Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan (Book #2 of The Heroes of Olympus Series)

What a relief to have Percy Jackson back in action. I mean I love this boy and who doesn’t when you have lines responding back to Gods like, “All roads lead there, child. You should know that.” Percy: “Detention?” There’s just something about this very powerful, brave, and heroic demigod, just not fully understanding the things he’s told and being jealous over not being able to turn into animals when he’s already destroyed a glacier and summoned a hurricane of power. Never change Percy. But also, what a delight to be introduced to such great characters in Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang who are powerful demigods in their own right and instant family to Percy when he shows up to Camp Jupiter without his memories. I love that the three instantly click and have such a great dynamic with each other, despite the tragedies in all their lives and the immense trouble that brews throughout this book and is building in the series. I’m so excited for Camp Half Blood and Camp Jupiter to team up though, but I’m worried about Nico (though like Percy I kind of want to wring his neck for lying about knowing him) and I’m super worried about Annabeth even though I already know the spoilers and what’s about to happen. I’m not ready for it, but I can’t wait to read it.

4. The Musician’s Daughter by Susanne Dunlap

Overall this was a good read. I had some trouble with it at times because it was set in the past and it was overall unclear how old Teresia was so some of the actions that she was put through seemed super creepy. Plus even though the story did revolve around helping the Romani and reestablishing some of their lost titles, there was still some prejudice there through the use of the words they shouldn’t be called, and while I can excuse the ‘bad guys’ in the novel for using. Teresia and even Mirela herself used it which showed the authors lack of understanding. Still, I liked how thrust into the grief and sadness at the sudden murder of her father, Teresia not only steps up to help her family but also herself and fight for what she wants and how she wants to live her life. Plus I’m glad nothing seriously happened to Toby because that would have been awful.

5. Labyrinth by Kat Richardson (Book #5 of The Greywalker Series)

Picking up right where the previous novel ended, we join Harper as she arrives home from London to the comfort of her boyfriend and the chaos that is unfolding by the Pharoahn’s plans in Seattle. Half the book is Harper falling into danger either because people are looking for her or she throws herself into it. I didn’t always agree with her choices but I also felt her suffering the more in touch with the Grey she gets. Still wasn’t prepared for the ending though and I do wonder where it will go from here since this felt like the penultimate battle.

6. Star Wars: Children of the Jedi by Barbara Hambly

It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to read more of the extended Star Wars universe but I forgot how much I missed it. I really do enjoy seeing what happens to Luke, Leia, and Han after the events of the main trilogy even if one of them is hurt, about to die, and just absolutely beaten up the entire novel, cough, cough Luke… But still I enjoyed the storyline where Luke, Han, Chewie, and R2-D2 are investigating the possible former living conditions of the Jedi before they were murdered and come across the next plot from former Empire elites to takeover control. Especially Leia story where she gets to be a bad ass fighting against this dark side child and his mom. Meanwhile Luke is having to stop a ship that was built 30 years ago from destroying the planet his friends on while its picking up a collection of aliens and indoctrinating (or trying to) into the next stormtroopers while one of his students is captured and threatened with execution. The only thing that irked me in the book was the romantic story. I had no issue with Luke and Callista being friends but the romance seemed forced and I was glad at the end that Han makes a comment about it looking more like siblings than romantic partners because it just felt weird.

7. The Spy Who Haunted Me by Simon R. Green (Book #3 of the Hidden Histories Series)

Considering the absolute twists in tone and situations between the first and second book, I had no idea where this was going to go especially after a world ending fight in the last one. So a spy game solving all our favorite mysterious tall tales and creatures? It made it fun and still jammed pack because going from Nessie, Sasquach, a Russian failed experiment base, a disappearing US battleship, and Area 52 was a lot to take in. I’ll admit, I was sad that Molly wasn’t more in this book because she is a great character, but it was nice to see Eddie work without his family and his friends to see who he is when he’s alone. And he’s still a master spy but a pretty damn good hero too. Now, the one thing I’m learning is this series is Green’s way to relive all of his favorite characters from his finished series. First is was Giles and this time it was Walker which was interesting, but also I already knew 1, Walker didn’t kill the other spies but also 2, he obviously wasn’t going to die because John does that later. Still interesting to see the team up, plus I learned there is a full crossover book with the Droods and the Nightside later so I can’t wait to put Eddie and John Taylor together.

8. Stars of the Kanri by S.P. Dorning

Picked this up because it seemed like a fun independent sci-fi story, but as soon as I read the dedication, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like it because of the authors insistence that God put him in this story to tell His tale. And at first all was good (ignoring the first time writing mistakes), but as soon as we land on the planet it all becomes about how The Father of All will guide us and does these miraculous things and I was turned off. Plus the big secret that Mason is a robot isn’t really a twist at the end because it was made clear in the beginning what was going on. And also the people from the stars saving primitive lifeforms because they know better has been an overtold device that’s reminiscent of that colonization vibe and I can’t stand it. So definitely not picking up the sequel whose plot is given away in the epilogue.

9. Tesla’s Attic by Neal Shusterman and Eric Elfman

Overall I enjoyed the premise, the plot, and the storytelling of this book because the idea that Nikola Tesla hid away objects of incredible power and incredible abilities in some random attic in Colorado Springs is an interesting twist. That and the Accelerati (founded by Edison) are these scientists that constantly try to quash and control big inventions and mysterious happenings fits right in. And I also enjoyed the characters, but it didn’t feel like I was reading about true middle school kids or actual events that middle schoolers might become a part of. It felt at least like these kids should have been high schoolers in my opinion. So that took me out of it a little. Still I liked the book enough to see where it goes from here and since there are two more in the series it will be a fun, but short right.

10. Dead and Alive by Dean Koontz (Book #3 of Frankenstein)

In this never ending 48 hours of a story, told over 3 books so far, we got a little more action heavy in this one as all our characters begin to meet up with each other. Victor’s creatures are continuously breaking down or going overboard on their programming, Erika befriends one of them and relishes the secret proving that she’s not perfect like her predecessor. Her predecessor is alive and helping the creatures of the dump live and survive, our two favorite human cops befriend a dog, and Decaulion gets a glimpse of his maker as he not blows up one of Victor’s labs, but his backup as well. It’s going to be interesting to see how Victor responds to this, especially because it seems like more and more of his creatures are on Decaulion’s side. But I also have 2 books to go, so I know a lot can change in a day.

#2023 rewind #books i read

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blurrycow · 2 years

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Hargreeves analysis (5/7: my lucky number!)

Tagging the gang: @jbd302020, @conchshell, @stupidcanofpeaches, @assaily, @kdangerfblog (I know you wanted to be added to my tag list- this isn’t the fic but here)

Five Hargreeves

My playlist with the songs I think go with him and his vibe are on my Spotify! It’s called Sunbow (my at home account) and _Sunbow (my school account.) Both post playlists and update them consistently. They are also basically the same.

SORRY FOR THE SELF ADVERTISING! On with the analysis.

Ah, my favorite number. My lucky number. Too bad my lucky number has been through some… stuff. Very unlucky number.

Hoooooo boy. Five. What to do with you, man. Five is definitely the absolutely most traumatized, most overlooked one of the siblings (Vanya is a close second, Klaus lagging in third).

Boy, I knew about five before I even watched TUA. My friend, @chickadee634, writes fanfic for him, so she showed me some of that and that’s really what got me into it. I have great memories of sitting with my friends, watching a small fifteen year old murder grown men.

By now, you’re getting tired of my mindless rambling, so let’s just go.

Nobody ever takes him seriously. We clearly see this in season two when his pleas to help save the world are collectively ignored by his “loving” family members. Honestly it makes me very sad to see, because he tries so hard, and his siblings can’t see the fact that if they don’t get their shit together, there will be no social life to get to.

Five can easily be summarized by this line [about Nico DiAngelo] by Rick Riordan, from the excellent book The Tower of Nero:

“He looked like a person who had been hit not once, not twice, but so many times over the course of many years that [he] had lost sense of what it was to feel not in pain.”

(Apologies if it’s incorrect! I am going from memory here.)

Five has… not had any relax time in more than forty five years. In the long, lonely apocalypse, his only companion was a mannequin that is consistently ridiculed in the series by his siblings. Eventually he has to give her up, and then when he finally gets her back, he has to give her away again. He gets a shrapnel wound to the gut. He gets a concussion Flynn Rider style and falls in a pile of bricks. He’s rewound time more than once on no sleep. He has a bullet wound.

Basically, what I’m saying is, Five is a fucking champ.

He has been through so much shit- isolation, manipulation, being ignored, dna changes, the trauma of killing people, leaving behind the love of his life, finding the love of his life again and then being forced to leave her again, ptsd, malnutrition, growth stunting, anxiety, depression, torture, so much more, and GOD, I want to give this boy a hug. He’s been through so much and his family members (although I love them, they’re kind of ignorant bitches to Five) don’t see the fact that he’s struggling until he’s literally passing out.

Let’s talk about Five’s relationships with his siblings.

Five loves his family. They are his one motivator. He can’t admit it because he doesn’t want to tell them how much he’s been through for them, because he sees it as a weakness. It kind of is! Anyone could make him do anything for them.

Time in the commission:

Five spent YEARS- YEARS- in a place that objectified him for his powers (“you’re a legend!” etc). He spent SO LONG in a toxic place that sent him to kill millions of innocents, a place that ALTERED HIS FUCKING DNA to make him feel LESS GUILTY ABOUT BEING A MURDERER.

anyway poor guy can’t catch a break

And he’s still so impacted by Reginald! (I.e., the scene where he’s in the closet and Reginald is outside of it and Reggie steps forward and Five steps back, which is a symbol of defeat and submission in most animals, signifying that his father still has a great impact on his choices, and still intimidates him.) His father is his greatest abuser (actually, he has a lot of abusers- the Handler, AJ, + his father).

Five has been spiraling through space and time for so long that now he doesn’t know what’s the past, present, or future, and before he can even get adjusted to space lag, he’s thrown into an apocalypse, which is quickly headed up by another apocalypse. He’s confused, and he needs a break. Plus, I think the only thing he’s eaten since he got back from his 45 years was a fluffernutter sandwich.

Conclusion: Five Hargreeves has been through A LOT OF SHIT (fault of Gerard Way) and needs a fucking break. Petition to let this lil guy take a nap in s3!

Alright, only two left! Let’s see how we can pick apart Ben Hargreeves next.

#five hargreeves #tua #number five #the umbrella academy comics #the umbrella academy #Long post

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the-ghost-king · 3 years

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About the cupid scene, Nico was forced to come out, but its also made very clear that Cupid is the bad guy. So is Aphrodite to an extent. They have a twisted and fundamental misunderstanding of love and how it works for mortals. I get that people could be mad about how Nico was forced to come out and putting him through more emotional trauma, but I also think its very realistic in showing how callous and cruel the gods understanding of love is.

I am reminded of the quote by Madeline Miller, "There is no law that gods must be fair..."

I also understand why the scene might be traumatic for other young LGBTQ+ readers, I've seen a lot of people talk about the fear of being outed in regards to them reading that scene as a kid. I completely respect their feelings on that, and I understand that as well. However, as someone who had been forcibly outed once before reading that scene, that scene really helped heal me. I don't think the Cupid scene is inherently homophobic, and I'm often bothered by the lack of nuance regarding around how it's handled.

I recognize it's a very emotional scene, and that people may have a hard time fully separating their emotions from that scene, but at the same time if there's a group of people saying "hey I understand why you disliked this scene but it was really helpful to me as a child because of the different experiences I had" maybe slow the breaks and hear what others also in the community have to say before determining if the scene is homophobic. You don't have to like the scene, and yeah maybe the scene did hurt you but that doesn't make it homophobic.

I want to specify on my word choice there a little closer, because of course outing someone is an act of homophobia, and the scene is homophobic in that sense. However often times the conversation about homophobia in this scene goes to "Rick was homophobic for writing this" where personally I would say this scene toes the line at being too far without ever crossing it. Some people may think this depiction crosses the line into "Rick was homophobic for writing this" which is fine, but just because something depicted homophobia and hurt you doesn't mean it was homophobic. Something doesn't have to out rightly be stated to be bad, in order to be read as bad*, and the Cupid scene does a wonderful job of depicting this.

I talk here about how Nico is shown what love is, and how love is treated by Nico, and how it affects his character. I think it's important to note that Nico's entire storyline can essentially be encompassed in an Orpheus-like or Odyssey-like tale. Nico's undergone this huge emotional and physical labor all in the name of having some form of unconditional love. I think that post is a really important read in the context of this one because I very carefully outline how love shapes Nico and how Nico shape and chooses his own definition of love, but I want to specifically dig into the Cupid scene on this post.

The big criticism often seen is "it's homophobic" which I covered above, and I want to clarify I'm not upset with or mad at or trying to tell anyone they can't dislike it or even say you can't say it's homophobic (my words on my one post are a bit off I'll admit) but the problem I have is when people believe they hold a moral high ground for thinking it's homophobic, or they remove all nuance from the discussion with "it's homophobic". Which is frustrating and annoying because it's a very complex scene, and it really changes Nico's arc and personality and it does help characterize him.

The big reason it shapes him so much is because of the other largest reason the scene is criticized, Cupid's behavior. What often fails to be recognized in those scenes is that Cupid is intentionally painted as the villain, this is very important to the scene.

In the context of this scene Nico makes an unspoken choice, a choice of "what is love to me?". I talk about how Nico claims his narrative in BoTL when he overcomes Minos, and he partially peaks that arc by convincing Gods to join the final battle of TLO. Following that arc however, Nico falls into his second arc, his crush on Percy was important in PJO, but not as important as it is in HoO.

By HoO Nico's entire character revolves around Percy, how to help Percy, how to aid Percy, etc. All of this has to do with Nico's crush on Percy, but also as an act of repayment because Nico hurt Percy- Nico lied to him about knowing him at New Rome in SoN, and he goes to Tartarus shortly after... This mirrors what Percy did after Hades tricked Nico... Percy choked Nico because he was upset with him, so Nico tried to win back Percy's affection by bathing him in the river.

The Cupid Scene is the resolution of Nico's arc, he is essentially given a choice- Cupid or Jason?

For this reason, we do see Nico recognize love for what it has been vs how it could be.

Cupid is there to represent what love is, to Nico love is brutal, and painful, and a lot of hard work... Nico has made himself utilitarian in love simply because it is the only way he can find any affection. Love to Nico is about flaying yourself for the benefit of others, to trample any and all parts of yourself simply to appease those you care for, because you want them to love you so much as you love them. The parallels I could draw between Nico and Orpheus, or Nico and Odysseus... I'd be here a long while...

In that scene Jason represents the alternative form of love which Nico chooses after his interaction with Cupid.

Jason says during the scene that he "preferred Piper's idea of love" which has to do with kindness and caring, etc, and then Jason becomes the embodiment of that idea during the scene- which showcases the alternative of what love can be, thus making Jason a personification of love in the context of that scene.

Jason looks to Nico, he doesn't ask for more, he simply looks to Nico with understanding and acknowledges him for who he is, and he does the exact opposite of what Nico expects:

Jason loves Nico where he is, without conditions, without forcing Nico to become something more. Jason didn’t force Nico to say more than what was necessary for him to understand, Jason looked at Nico and he called Nico brave.

Cupid is a more volatile form of love than Aphrodite, Cupid shoots arrows that makes people animals, that can make a god grow insane, but Aphrodite's form of love is about acceptance and humanity (think to how she picked Ares over Hephaestus even if it was perhaps "wrong")- both are about truth but one is about force and the other about acceptance.

When Nico walks out of there, he makes his choice- he is forced to come out yes, Cupid is wrong for doing this, but Jason again stays a figure of love in Nico's life. Jason basically says, "Good job, I know that was hard, thank you for sharing and let me know if you need anything, people will care about you and understand you," again and again and again to Nico, he doesn't tell Nico he has to come out, and he agrees to keep it between them for now. Jason is love as acceptance, Jason is the first person who unconditionally loves Nico, and that's the choice.

Will Nico accept unconditional love? If the answer is no, then Cupid wins and Nico is denying himself. If the answer is yes, then Jason and Nico win, and Nico no longer needs to make himself utilitarian in love in order to be loved.

The choice is made with Reyna and Hedge, most specifically Reyna.

When he accidentally comes out to them, and they accept him without making a big deal of it, without show, just that acknowledgement and "thank you for sharing" and Nico accepts their words and friendship still- Nico made his choice then to accept the love he was being freely given.

“He carried so much sadness and loneliness, so much heartache. Yet he put his mission first. He persevered. Reyna respected that. She understood that. She'd never been a touchy-feely person, but she had the strangest desire to drape her cloak over Nico's shoulders and tuck him in. She mentally chided herself. He was a comrade, not her little brother. He wouldn't appreciate the gesture.”

This is where we see the slow and steady, and healthy, end to Nico's arc in regards to love really grow into itself, and he begins to heal. He no longer sees such an intense need to make himself utilitarian for love, and he begins to heal from his internalized homophobia too.

(Internalized homophobia discussions with Nico also bother me too often times, people too often assume you can't date while struggling with internalized homophobia or at least very heavy handedly imply that which is just not true... You may have some issues in your relationship, but you can work through the internalized homophobia while building a new relationship and be just fine. Also to assume someone has an unhealthy relationship because of internalized homophobia is weird and lowkey reinforces the idea that "broken" people don't need love, but also does a huge disservice to so many LGBTQ+ people who are happily married/themselves but still struggle with these feelings, and to see a healthy relationship depiction despite someone in that relationship struggling with internalized homophobia is fine and good actually. As long as the individual can recognize what they're dealing with, and work through it in a healthy and constructive manner, then there's nothing wrong there...)

When I started this post to be honest I thought I would have a lot more to say, it's a scene that touched and changed me so deeply as a person, and beyond that in a more objective experience it completely changes Nico's character, by turning his arc around and beginning his healing process. To be honest, there probably is more to be said on it, I just haven't found the words yet... I know parts of this post are clunky and in a year I'm going to read this and see all the places it could be better but for now I'm content with it.

Whether or not someone considers the scene homophobic is a subjective experience, but I think this is a very well written scene purely for the characterization and symbolism, intentional or otherwise. I don't really care that much to debate if it's truly a homophobic scene or not, I can see both why people say it is and why people say it isn't and that can be culminated into "people have different needs" and "minorities aren't a monolith". Personally my much larger complaint is the complete lack of nuance and insight scenes like this are handled with, not the matter of personal opinion an individual reaches on the scene.

*the post uses the word "adult audience" and yes, fair point, children should not be able to decipher symbolism to the extent adults can. But older children and young teens, which the RRverse series are sold for, is when critical thinking skills and media analysis do begin to become parts of classroom curriculum. The scene does an excellent job of not outright stating Cupid is evil, but of depicting that in a very clear cut way.

#nevermind i lied here you go #nico di angelo #meta #long post #anon #ask #internalized homophobia #fandom homophobia

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