#myrlgameplay

[aleksa-sims]

🪠🧹🧸🖼️

My grams asked us to clean our bedrooms! I had planned this anyway and I managed to get my old room nice! My cousin M. on the other hand, didn’t really get any further. His Simself was just standing around. I think I have to help him.😒🤷‍♀️

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 screenies #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay

[aleksa-sims]

🪴🌻

I had a bit too much fun building N'.s & his girlfriend's place.🫤

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 rooms #sims 4 room inspo #myrlgameplay #my builds #sims 4 build

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Liam had a nice day with D. & me... I think? I mean... our cat was not really pleased about the short Baby-visit, but well, the little man survived it. 😬

An hour after we arrived home, I got a call back from my doc. He said my results were fine, my Baby's fine. I shouldn’t worry. So we went out with Liam. I played with him in a water puddle next to a kids playground. Under that water puddle was a..... small fountain into the ground. I thought it was off.

But that... water-thing turned on, just as I was standing in that puddle with Liam. Of course I got wet. Daniel couldn't stop laughing, but I admit, it was funny.

Once we were back home, I took off my wet clothes. Daniel head back down to the supermarket to buy groceries. Liam slowly got hungry. Our little stinky started to cry. I didn’t have time to go up to the bedroom to change, so I ran around in my underwear almost all day long. To prevent Liam from starving, I gave him half a banana while I prepared his baby food. Only 5 minutes later Daniel was back. I asked him to help me with Liam, so I could prepare our food. But Daniel, he.......wanted something else, me! He got horny. Just because I was in my underwear. I mean, I didn’t mind. I was glad he... liked me. Still, it was odd. This morning he got out of my way. He barely spoke to me, but now suddenly, he can’t keep his hands off me? And secondly, we were not alone! But Daniel didn’t care.

I washed my hands. I stood with my back to him. I thought D. grabbed a spoon to feed Liam, instead he grabbed me. He kissed my neck & touched me, I got goose bumps. I just let him go on for a moment... I could feel, that he wanted me. But Liam was hungry, so D. let go of me and went to our little stinky.

As I was preparing our meal, I thought about us, our situation. I wondered, if I should talk to him? Ask him, what was wrong with him this morning?.... However, I decided to... simply let things run their course. 🤷‍♀️

After dinner, everyone was full & happy. I looked at them all three. My horny husband, the hungry, dirty baby and our jealous cat. I couldn’t believe it! I actually managed to satisfy them all 3. Me, the only girl in the round. 😁 Okay, I’m honest, Daniel helped me.

Liam that little stinky got totally dirty while eating. But agh, who cares? The main thing he had fun and felt comfortable with us. Only Lucky, our Cat, seemed to have something against Liam’s cheerful, curious mood of discovery. The little one crawled through our apartment. He opened all our drawers he could reach.

He really enjoyed it, until Lucky came along and decided to push Liam. The little one rolled to the side, but he didn’t complain, looking for another quiet corner in our apartment to poop.💩

After Liam took a dump, he just fell asleep on the floor in his pooped diaper. 🤣Daniel and I didn’t get it right away. We were....... busy, but the smell of baby-shit forced me to let go of him. Also, maybe I should finally get dressed?

Anyway. I went back to the kitchen to check on Liam... Oh my, our stinky needs to take a bath. 🤢🤭

While Daniel was cleaning Liam, I went to get dressed. Now that I was no longer naked, I could help D., without him touching me all the time. Of course he was a bit disappointed, but still pretty horny. 🤨 As soon as Liam fell peacefully asleep, Daniel could finally........... vent a bit? 🤭

Ngl, I wanted him too. My hormones were partly responsible. I was pregnant and seeing Daniel with a Baby today, made him even more irresistible to me than usual. Besides, he's hot! Really hot and cute. We can also talk about our probs or the divorce tomorrow, yk? 😬Ugh, I didn’t want to divorce him. 😞💔

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #cw pregnancy #ts 4 story

[aleksa-sims]

Simselfstory

CW: Pregnancy, addiction

The one hour he gave me was over, but the doors were still open. Should I stay-… or should I go?

I tried to call N., he didn't answer.... Shit, N.! Don't you care about me???... But why do I even wonder? I knew why he ignored me. We agreed on this! And well, that's N.! That's how he is. No matter what happens, he never deviates from the course. So even if I call him 100 times, he won’t pick up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😩

Before I go back to the current events, I quickly explain what Nico and I have discussed.

N. knew, as long as I haven’t cleared everything up with Daniel, D. would haunt my mind forever. So he wanted me to go to him and talk to him. And Nico and I weren’t together at the time, so he told me to do what I want with Daniel! 7 days, he said. After that, he wants an answer from me! No sooner or later! After my time with D.'s over, he'll talk to me! I didn’t agree with the 7 days, I thought I could settle this matter with Daniel within 24 hours. But well, Daniel’s answers to my questions have changed everything. So decided to stay! 7 days!

As you can see above, I just did my laundry. I had no comfy underwear here in Daniel’s and my apartment. While I was busy filling our washer, I noticed Daniel’s pills on the counter next to his things. At the same time, it rang at our door, but I didn’t care...

Shit, that’s the good stuff! The pills I was hooked on in the past... I’d love to get high. Right now, more than ever....

What the fuck did I do!???????? 😨 I’m pregnant, damn it!! What's wrong with me?.... 🤮🤮 Agh, I was damn lucky. I didn’t swallow the pill, I just had it in my mouth and I spit it out. 

Meanwhile, I heard Daniel talking to someone on our doorstep.

Daniel: I’m not interested in this job. Sorry, you got me wrong. But be honest, is that really why you came by, to offer me a job? Or is this about Alex?

Girl: No, I’m here for you. Besides, I know Alex doesn’t live here and I don't care tbh. The other day we were here, he told me.

Daniel: It’s none of my business anyway. However, I don’t need any help or a job. You're wasting your time. I'm pretty busy rn so...

How could I have done that? How could I forget I was pregnant?...... I was still standing in our tiny......... toilet-room (?). The window was open. I could hear Daniel & that girl talking about a job. Does he know I’m eavesdropping on them? Is that why he’s in such a hurry to get rid of her?... Agh, I'm such a mess.🤦‍♀️ Why am I even thinking about that girl? I want to get a divorce!! I should rather think about what I just did!!! I’m not even 24 hours here and all I care & think about is that damn drug and............ Daniel. 😖 

Daniel (to me): You know what’s about to happen. Last chance! If you don’t go, you’ll be locked up here with me tonight.

Girl: Um, I better get going. See you. 😬

Me: I just wanted to go over, to the bathroom. Who-... was that? 😳

Daniel: Weren’t you going to the bathroom? 🤨

Me: What- 😶‍🌫️😳

Daniel: Coincidentally, I want to take a shower, now! 🤷‍♂️ But we can do it together, I don’t mind.

Daniel: Come closer..... It’s been a long time.

Me: You're playing me. 😳😔

Daniel: Why do you think so? You want me too, that's why you stayed. I mean, you literally lured me into the bathroom. And you look hot, you got me horny. 😏

Me: No, I wasn’t trying to seduce you. I only wear... this, bcs I have nothing else here.

Daniel: I don’t care! We’re married and I wanna fuck you, babe.

Me: Btw, when did you get the divorce papers? 🤨

Daniel: Um..... 5 weeks ago?

Me: Exactly!.... What were you waiting for, Daniel? Why didn’t you call me, once you got better? Admit it, you’ve been thinking about breaking up with me, too. Alex told you what I said to him. And that girl earlier... Idk who she is, but I have heard it all! She's been here once.

Daniel: Yes! I was thinking about signing your fucking divorce petition. I was mad at you! Anyway, go up and wait for me. There’s still a lot we need to clear up. But this here, we'll definitely keep up tonight.

Me: Well, let's see.

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #cw addiction #myrlgameplay #cw pregnancy

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: pregnancy, addiction

I've made a lot of plans for this day.... First, I do a pregnancy test! Later I will finally tell Nico about it, who has not been with me since I left his place yesterday... Last night Sandra stayed with me.

We talked SO MUCH🤯 ... Mainly about Stephanie and that guy she mentioned yesterday, when she was at N.'s. I told Sandra what strange shit Stephanie said.... Sandra immediately understood, that the guy Stephanie talked about, was no longer alive. And yea, it made sense. 🧐

But now, it was time for me to finally take a test!! Although I somehow knew, I was pregnant, I was still totally nervous. On the one hand, I absolutely wanted a baby, but on the other... I was afraid of it and just NOT READY yet, to become a mother. And what if Nico doesn't want that? How am I supposed to do all this alone?... I’ll need my parents! But my Mom seemed depressed about something that had to do with my Dad. Their marriage.

And oh my goodness! Ana overheard Sandra & me!! She thought it was totally strange, that S. and I were in the bathroom together.

I haven’t told Ana yet, I might be pregnant. I felt bad about hiding it from my sister. I wanted to tell her last night, but Ana didn't really seem to have time for S. & me. She met her new bestie, that dumb Claudia. 😒

Backt to S. & me! I had to wait 4 minutes until a result becomes visible on my pregnancy test. S. tried to distract me... Only 2 minutes later, I got my answer! I could see, that the second, red line slowly became visible on my pregnancy test. 😱

So yes, "we don’t have to wait anymore, I’m pregnant S"., I said.

Sandra was so happy for me. The only words that came over my lips were... "Shit, shit, shit!" Maybe bcs I felt sick?

While I had shit in my head, Sandra my Baby, Ana had only one question, that went through her mind... WHO's the baby daddy??? I had no idea, why Ana was wondering who got me pregnant?? I told Ana about N. & me, so it was obviously Nico’s Baby! But Ana thought Dennis, was the baby daddy.😯 Ha? Why Dennis? I didn't even sleep with him! But Ana didn’t believe me anyway, when it came to that one night in her dorm 3 weeks ago.

Ana also felt sorry for Daniel. Now that I was pregnant, it was probably definitely over with us. Tbh, I was sad too. Part of me wished it was Daniel’s Baby😞... I knew he wanted that. But it didn’t matter!! Daniel left me! And... agh, I don’t wanna say that, but from todays POV.... it would be a disaster for me, if it had been Daniel's Baby. We’re both drug addicts! 😞

That’s exactly why I had to see a doctor! I wasn’t sure I could keep my Baby??? A few weeks ago, I relapsed. So I was back on those drug substitutes. THIS, one damn thing, has always ruined my life, also my short marriage to Daniel and now it has even affected my Baby. 😓🤦‍♀️

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #18+ content #rl story #simself #cw pregnancy #cw addiction

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

My date with N. was....... great. 🤷‍♀️After what happened the last weeks and we didn’t see each other for that long, things went surprisingly well. But I must also admit that we did not talk about my short return to Daniel. Nico asked me, not to talk about the past weeks. He said, we weren’t together. Now that we got the chance to stay together for more months without him having to go back abroad, we should just start from scratch. I honestly thought that was a little strange. I wanted to explain to him, why I stayed with Daniel, but N. was against it. So I decided to listen to him, as long as we’re together.

N. also finally told his family about our Baby. His Mom wanted to see me, tomorrow.😳🙈 He asked me, if I wanted to spend the night with him, in his mother’s house. There’s no one there today. I agreed, but why didn’t he just invite me to his apartment?

Nico: I have to go to the house anyway. My dog is there, and if you accompany me, we’ll stay right there. We're alone.

Me: Okay. And your Mom’s coming home tomorrow? Where is she? And what exactly did you tell her?

Nico: Well, she'll be grama. 😬 And she’s with her partner tonight.

Me: Was she mad?

Nico: Ahm.... no. Rather surprised. She's in her mid forties. She feels too young for a grandchild.

Me: She’s 46! It’s much more embarrassing for my parents!! They’re only 41! 🤷‍♀️

Nico: Yea, but I didn’t tell her... you, were pregnant. She first thought.... Stephanie & I would have a Baby. But I told her it's NOT Steph!! She was relieved, but I didn’t tell her it was you, I wanted to surprise her.

Me: What??... Are you crazy N.?... Agh, why am I even asking. Of course you're crazy.

Nico: Don't worry, it'll be fine. It's just my mother! She always loved you.

Me: Yeah, that was before..... Philip & I got together. And please don’t tell her I’m still married, okay?

Nico: No one in my family needs to know. I leave it up to you.

Me: Maybe someday I’ll tell your Mom, but rn I don’t want anyone to know. Especially your sister must not find out about it.

Nico: Agh, screw Mel, she can’t say a bad word to you! Trust me, I won’t let that happen.

Me: I’m really scared of Melanie. I know that sounds stupid, but I can’t forget how mean she used to be.

Nico: You don’t have to see Melanie or talk to her. I’m not leaving you alone with her. First, she’ll have to apologize to you. Or she’ll never meet our Baby, I promise.

Me: Thank you..... ILY, N. Oh, and what about your Dad? I guess he doesn’t know yet, because you’re still not talking to him.

Nico: Yea. I don’t care what he thinks or what he has to say. I don’t give a shit. 🤷‍♀️... And no matter what he offers you, or our child, you say no! Clear?

Me: Yes! I understand! Your Dad’s still a red rag to us. 😬😕

Once arrived at N.'s House, we saw Fabienne, Philip's baby sister. 🙂

She was so excited to see Nico and me again. She started talking about Annabelle. P.'s little babygirl was visiting Fabienne. So Fabs invited N. and me to come by later.

How it went on with Fabienne and N.'s family for me, you'll see next time. My parents'll also join us.😬 Ahg yea, what a nice family reunion.😨

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw pregnancy

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: addiction, serious illness

Totally done and still sad because I saw Daniel and this stupid girl today I came home after work. Nico wasn’t home yet. I was kind of relieved about that. I wasn't sure, if I should tell him? I mean, nothing happened, but what I said to Daniel today was just not ok! It was totally unfair and selfish.

As soon as I got home, I went for a walk with N.’s dog. Back home I took a shower & I lay down on the bed. I wasn’t feeling so well. I got serv pain in my right knee and my hands also hurt. It bothered me so much, that I had to take a painkiller. After that it slowly got better while I fell asleep.

A little later N. came home. I heard him come up to the bedroom and watch me sleep. Nico has an extraordinary talent for disturbing me while sleeping. No, tbh it's really cute. Every morning before he leaves the house, he comes back to the bedroom to me, while I’m mostly still sleeping. He kisses me and tells me quietly that he loves me. In the beginning I found it hard to get used to. It's annoying to be woken up by him in the morning (5.00 am!) just because he has to kiss me. Yk? It wasn’t until he was gone (abroad), that I realized how much I missed being woken up by him in the morning.🩷 But back to that day, it was not in the morning, but in the evening.

N. saw the painkillers I had taken next to me on the bed, thinking I was sick or something.

Nico: Hey babe.... Are you ok?

Me: M-hm... Yea, I'm ok.... Where were you? I missed you.

Nico: I said good-bye to Damien and the others. They’re going back to Italy tomorrow.

Me: Yea, without you.... You stay here, with me. So happy about that. Right now I need you with me. I've had a really, really bad day N.... And you? How is your new team? Are they nice?

Nico: Agh...well, what can I say? Germans, yk?🤷‍♀️😉 But it was ok and it’s nice to be home, not somewhere alone abroad ..... Did you see Dilek today?

Me: No, she’s sick. She stayed home.

Nico: Are you sick too? I see you’ve taken painkillers.

Me: My knee hurt again. Somehow my whole body hurts, my hands and legs... But I'm fine. 🙂

Nico: You should tell your doc. You are pregnant. Maybe it has something to do with it?

Me: Yea, but don't worry. I know this pain. It's nothing. I’ve had this pain since I was a kid. It comes and goes, but it’s not serious. My muscles and bones are just very sensitive to pain. 🫤

Nico: It’s all right, babe. But if I see you get pain again, I’ll take you to your doc. I don’t want to scare you, you know that! But you don’t hurt for no reason. Sure, it's nothing, but it’s better to get it checked out before you need to take painkillers again.

Me: Chill Nico!! I know you’re afraid I might get addicted to painkillers . But c'mon, N.! It's just ibuprofen. 😄🤷‍♀️My pill addiction is past. I know I was difficult for you back then, but I promise, this won’t happen anymore. Love you.

Nico didn’t worry about my pill addiction, but actually about the pain I had. A few days ago, my knee hurt so badly that I could not walk. I even cried. But after I took a painkiller, it stopped again. That pain I had in my muscles and bones will get really bad after delivery. Not immediately after delivery, a few months later. But I do not want to draw too much attention to this issue now. Later, when the time comes, I will explain this in more detail. These were the first symptoms of a serious illness. Since CML is not so easy to diagnose, it will take a while for me to get the diagnosis.

And about Daniel I didn't tell Nico. I was happy with N. and we’re about to have a Baby, so I decided to somehow forget Daniel and let him go. But something happened that night!😞 Daniel texted me at 1:00 a.m. I’ll see him tomorrow again. 😢

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #cw addiction #cw pregnancy #cw leukemia #cw illness

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: violence mention 

Ana bought a car (lease or Instalment). It was her first car. I was happy for my baby sis. We went to Sandra. Ana wanted to see what I did with Sandra's Apartment. After a short apartment tour, Sandra and I annoyed Ana a bit? It was about Philip. S. & I didn’t understand what went on between Ana & Philip this summer?? Ana suddenly wants to help Philip get custody back for Anabelle. Sure, P. is our friend and we'll help him! But Ana wanted to lie for Philip in court, by pretending to be his permanent partner/girlfriend.

First, this is punishable! And secondly, Ana has to change her main residence officially, because the judge will check this. Why is she doig this for Philp, if she isn't with him?? It's not easy to talk to Ana about such topics like... relationships. She's not really the type to show her cards, - especially when it comes to men. She remained stubborn as always. Anyway, I need to talk to Philip about all this. I just don’t want my sister to get hurt by him.

After a while, the doorbell rang at Sandra’s door. Her neighbor, that.... psycho, Dario came by. At that point, we all didn’t know how dangerous this guy was. He was a loose cannon. Only the scar on his face actually revealed it. He said his ex tried to kill him in his sleep. That was a lie! His ex was just fighting back, he wanted to kill her. This girl will warn Sandra about him in a few months. But S. didn’t believe her at first. She was blinded by love. And tbh, I also liked him. He treated Sandra so sweet. I was happy for her! But he deceived us all.

Except Ana! She didn’t trust him from the beginning. Ana was afraid of him without being able to justify it properly, which is why Sandra and I didn't take her seriously. 🤦‍♀️ That's why Ana was really mad at us. There'll be stress between Ana & Sandra, because of that. 🙁

Dario: I didn’t mean to disturb you girls, but good that Aleksa is here. I got a little favour I'd like to ask you, A.

Me: Sure! 🤷‍♀️

Dario: I was actually hoping that you could baby-sit Liam this weekend? I wanna ask Sandra out. Just me & her.

Sandra: A date?? 🥰

Dario: Well, it’s about time, isn’t it?... I like you S. I-... really like you.

Me: Aww... No prob S.! I don't mind a weekend with little stinky.

Liam: 💩 🥵... 😬(poops)

Sandra: I’d love to go on a date with you. But.... Dominick’s funeral 🙁 ... I’m not sure yet-

Me: I’ll call Daniel to ask for the exact date.

Dario: No! It's ok, we’ll wait until after the funeral.😕 Sorry I asked without thinking.

Sandra: Thank you. He was my friend, yk? 😳😥

Ana: Agh, c'mon A.! Let's fucking go!! 😒

Me: Chill Ana!😒 ... Um, if you need me, S., just call me.

Sandra: Sure babes. We'll talk tomorrow... So long, Ana!

Ana: Peace out, weirdos.

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #ts 4 story #myrlgameplay #simself #tw violence mention #sandra's last chapter

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Pregnancy, addiction

N. & I were in that drug clinic at the hospital, where I’m going to deliver. I had my usual prenatal check-up. I also asked the doctor for our babies sex. And yea, I was right! It's a BOY!!! 🩵Yeyy, I was so happy! I couldn’t wait for our baby to be born. And Nico was happy too. He was so excited. This time we could see our Baby really well on the screen. I saw his tiny hands, feet, his head and he also showed us his backside. He just turned around during the exam. Nico said our son looks like an Alien, because he had such a big head, but that’s normal, the doctor explained. And everything else was fine too. I was so relieved. I was always so worried about our baby's development. Those damn pills, yk? That’s exactly why I had an appointment at the drug clinic that day too, that was in the same building as the hospital. (A huge hospital.)

On my first visit at this hospital, 5 months ago, they told us what my treatment here will look like. As you already know, I didn’t like it! But I had no choice. I did this for my baby. Because IF my baby is affected by that Neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS), he is in the best hands here. Her are the pros, so.... I just had to deliver at this hospital. (I’ve explained it all before and I don’t want to do it again.)

However, a doctor called me into his office/examination room, after I took a drug test....

Doc: Well! So far everything is fine. And after delivery, you have to come here once a week to get your pills.

Me: Yes, I’m aware of that. But how long do I have to do this treatment? Actually, I already have a doctor. Also I wanna quit those pills.

Doc: Before we talk about quitting, there are a few other things to deal with. Believe me, you don’t want to go through rehab after delivery. You will need good nerves! Heroin addicts never really quit anyway. And as for the duration of the treatment, we usually plan to accompany you and your baby here for a year. If everything goes well, you can switch back to your GP earlier.

Me: I have nothing against being treated here, I just don’t understand why a social worker has to accompany me? I mean those home visits. It's a invasion of my privacy. 😒

Doc: I’m not a social worker, I’m just taking care of your substitution treatment. And frankly, I don’t have time to argue with someone like you. My job is your addiction!

Nico: Your job doc, is to help and answer questions all day long.

Me: N.!! 🤦‍♀️...😬

Nico: What?🤷‍♂️😠 .. We're off the beaten path here. It’s unreasonable to come here with a little baby once a week just to get your pills. Besides, parking in this damn area is almost impossible or costs over 30 euros. I have to drive all the way across town to get to that hospital. How are you going to do this on your own? With a baby? I won’t always be there. One of us has to work. Abroad! But heey... maybe that social worker can help you and even pay all the tickets you need just to get here. At this... wonderful place.

Doc: Well-

Me: Thanks! Until next time, doc! 😬

We got up, heading for the door....

Nico: Now you're mad at me.

Me: No! Really not! You're right!. This place sucks! I’m sorry you have to come here because of me. But.... that’s the way it is N.🤷‍♀️.. You can’t talk to these doctors like this. Maybe our baby will need their help? That's why we're here.

Nico: This fucking doc can't help our baby. This guy can’t do anything! Except warm up the office chair with his lazy ass for the real boss of this.... damn institution. This wasn't even his office.

Me: Yeah, I think he just represented the doctor the other day. Anyway, once this is over, you can be.... mean to them! 😉I wouldn't mind.

This hospital is gonna drive me to hell!! 😒 Anyway! We went to my parents after that. I wanted to talk to my mom. I told her I was moving in with Nico.

My mom already knew. Nico’s mom called her and she also invited us all, my parents & me, to..... talk. 🤨 And Ana also talked to Nico & me. It was about Philip. Yep! Ana has seen Philip a couple of times during the summer. However, Ana has agreed to help Philip in court to get custody of Annabelle back. And she also needed Nico's and my help for this. So we’ll talk to Philip and help him of course. But what really was going on between Ana & Philip??? I didn't understand yet. 🧐

Also, I met Daniel. I was on my way home after work. This meeting was purely coincidental! It was not agreed between us.

The more shocked I was when I saw Daniel with another girl. I was..........just crying. 🤦‍♀️💔💔💔And since I’m such a jinx, he saw me too. 😖But the worst thing was........... I’m gonna do something unforgivable. 😢

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #cw addiction #cw pregnancy #cw hospital

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

7 weeks later...

Summer was coming to an end and I was back where it all started. At my grandparents.🤷‍♀️ My grandparents were abroad on summer vacation, just like my parents. I’ve been here alone for over 5 weeks. Slowly I’ve been feeling lonely... I spent the rest of the summer mostly with Sandra. S. was a great support for me.

She was my best friend and still, our friendship has become even stronger this summer. 🌼💛This was the one positive thing I wanted to remember. Everything else that happened, I just wanted to forget.

Daniel broke up with me 7weeks ago. He didn’t want me anymore.💔 He asked me to leave and since I was pregnant anyway, with N.'s Baby, I did what he asked of me. I was so devastated afterwards. I also missed my Cat, my little Lucky.😿 😿

I would have been willing to continue our marriage. I loved him so much. 😢He was in the first position for me, but somehow this felt wrong. My Baby should come first, not D. But I didn’t want to upset him, so I couldn’t talk to him about my pregnancy, without fighting. We also ended up having a lot of arguments about Irma and that damn house. I wanted Daniel to be honest with me, but.... Idk? He didn't want to talk, he was constantly mad... I haven’t contacted him since I left our apartment 7 weeks ago. Since that day I expected to get back the divorce documents signed by D., but so far..... nothing came back from him. 🤷‍♀️

Now to Nico. N. flew back to Italy, while I was with Daniel.😞... Another club wanted to take him over and pay him a.....nice sum for the change. But N. was under contract with the Italians for another year, so he flew to Italy, to his manager, to settle this matter with them. I really hoped, N. could get out of the contract and change to that new club. Bcs that would be here in Germany. So he could stay with me for the entire pregnancy. Nevertheless, the situation between him and me was still unclear. We were not together and he had been in Italy for weeks. We only spoke on the phone once a week. Mostly about soccer, his future/career and when he'll be back home. What didn’t mean, that I expected Nico to leave everything and come back to me.

But now 7 weeks later, it was time. It was the end of August. N. was finally home. We had a date tonight. I couldn’t wait to see him again. I was so excited. I was hoping we would get together, as it was, before Daniel came back. After all, I loved him too and we’ll soon have a Baby together.... Let's see, if he still wants me?? 😟

Also, Daniel will come to me, one more time, to talk about the divorce. His timing just..... sucks, again. Yk? 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

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[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Pregnancy

I was so happy! And I wasn't even high or so. 😉Just sober, pregnant and.......... in love. After Stephanie left, N. and I could start our life together. My first night here was great. I immediately felt comfortable with Nico and his dog. But well, wasn't my frist time. Still I was ready to move on.

This morning the day started for N and me a little earlier than usual. I had an appointment at the hospital for my next prenatal check-up. Today we're gonna finde out whether our Baby will be a boy or a girl. Actually, I already "knew" it. First, I felt it somehow and two weeks ago my doctor had a guess, that confirmed my feeling. He could not see the sex of the baby at that time, but the bladder. However in his opinion my Baby may be a boy. He wasn't exactly sure, just to 70%, he said. Let’s see what will come out of today’s ultrasound.

Nico wanted a girl. Accordingly, he was a bit... disappointed? He still hoped that my doc was wrong about his guess. At breakfast Nico and I talked about it. I didn’t want him to be disappointed. So I asked him, if he really meant it.

Me: Are you really so disappointed now? It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy, it’s our kid! Yk?

Nico: I think you’re taking this a little too seriously, babe. I was just kidding, like some kind of bet I might have lost. But I won’t give up! 70% are still not 100!! 😉

Me: A bet? For real, N.?...I just want to understand you. And if we’re both honest, you never wanted a Baby. I just wanna help you love our child. I know this is difficult for you, but that’s okay. Like I said, I'm gonna help you. But I’m afraid if our baby really becomes a boy, you won’t even try. I want to know why, N.?

Nico: I will love our Baby, whether it is a boy or a girl! I just preferred a girl because you’re a girl. That's all, honestly babe! I mean.... yea sure. When I imagine having a son, I automatically think about the relationship I had with my father. That’s why I may have a negative connection to this topic, but that doesn’t mean I won’t love our son.

Me: That's what I thought. Still, I'm glad you told me. I’m sure you’ll be a great Dad! I never would have said that a year ago, but now... I just know. You’ve changed, you’ve changed for the better! That makes me really happy! ILY, N.

Nico: I see you’re happy. You've never looked more beautiful than you do now. Let me take a pic of my pregnant smokin' hot babe.... Oh, Philip called me.

Me: Why don’t you call him back?

Nico: Ahm... later. But now c'mon! Let's hit the road.

Me: You still need to get dressed, Nico. And you know? We could invite Philip over later, like... before.

Nico: Sure. But not exactly like before! 🤨

Me: No, of course not! We don’t do this shit anymore! 😬😉

Nico: Yea.... sure, babe. 🤨

After N changed, we went to the hospital. I was a little nervous, as usual. I was hoping our baby was fine. In addition, I was also a bit worried about how Nico will react, when he finds out, that he is actually having a son. 🩵

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[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Yesterday after we talked to N.'s Mom, Nico and I thought about, how to go on? I wanted us to find a new place. Our Baby will need a home and I didn’t want to stay at my parents. I wanted to be alone with N., to start our own lives. We decided to move into his apartment, until we found something new. But Stephanie was still there. I didn’t see why Stephanie was allowed to stay at his place? So we went to N.’s apartment, to talk to her.

A few weeks ago, when I was back with Daniel, Stephanie asked Nico for help. She had some probs with her family and needed a temporary home. Nico agreed that she moves in with him, as long as he was abroad. But now it was time for Stephanie to leave!

As I had guessed, Stephanie’s desperate cry for help 7 weeks ago, was something other, than just an argument with her family. She wanted N. back and hoped she could stay with him.... Nico first talked to her alone while I stayed out of their conversation. But Stephanie saw me in the hallway. She knew I was watching them, so she tried to kiss N., to unsettle me. I was totally annoyed and went over to the two to argue with her.

Nico (to S.): C'mon Steph, you’ve had 7 weeks to fix that issue with your family. This is my place and I want her to move in with me. You got to go!

Stephanie: I don’t wanna leave you.

Me: I’m pregnant! We have a baby! What do you want with him anyway? I mean, can’t you live your own life? You wanna stay here with him and me??

Stephanie: I thought you weren’t together anymore... N. told me!

Nico: Still, this doesn’t mean you and I can be together. I don't want that!!! Thought I made that pretty clear. I just offered you my help because I had to leave anyway.

Stephanie: We could start over. I feel much better. Actually I have been doing really well for a long time. I don’t see him anymore. I know he was never really there. Just my imagination.... It could work this time, N..

Nico: I'm glad you're fine. Honestly. Still, you have to go!

Stephanie: You think I’m crazy, don’t you?... Everything I told you when you broke up with me, was.... just made up. I’m fine, N.! I don’t see my dead boyfriend & friends anymore. It got better since we met. So maybe this will change your mind?... We could make it, yk?

Nico: No matter what you say now, it won’t change anything for me. I'm sorry.

Me: You are sorry? She threatened to hurt herself, just so you wouldn’t leave her!!!!!! She’s a fucking liar.

Nico: It doesn't matter! It’s been over for months!! I don't want you, Stephanie!!

Stephanie: You don’t believe me. You really think I’m crazy, N.!... But when I told Melanie that you met your ex gf again and wanted to break up with me, she advised me to make you feel guilty. That’s why I acted so stupid, but I’m NOT, crazy, I swear!!

Me: I never bought your fake.... pity pot!! I knew it! 🤨

Nico (to S.): You and my sister are both crazy!! At least now I know you won’t hurt yourself. Anyway, c'mon S.! Get your stuff and out here!

⚠️ CW: sui attempt, car crash ⚠️

Before Stephanie left, she told me what happened to her when she was 17 or 18 years old. I already knew some of it. Nico told me once. Anyway! Her boyfriend and her 3 friends died in a car accident. She was the only one to survive, which has haunted her for years. She imagined she was seeing her dead boyfriend. He wanted her to come to him, so they could be together again. About a year after that car crash, Stephanie tried to take her own life. Fortunately, she was saved a second time. She told Nico about all this when they met at Melanie’s wedding. That’s why he really thought or believed, that Stephanie would hurt herself, when they broke up. She told him she’d go to her dead boyfriend, if Nico really left her. 🤦‍♀️ I’m so sorry for Stephanie!! Especially what she’s been through is terrible!! But that she uses that sad event, to get pity from others, is in my opinion..... really low.... At least she admitted that she was lying. Although... this too, she only did, because she didn’t want Nico to think she was crazy.

Oh, and Ana called me. My sister & my parents were on vacation. They just got home. Ana was wondering where I was and she wanted to talk to me about..... something. Hm, let’s see what Ana wanted from me? 🧐

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[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: addiction, pregnancy

After we had a nice day at the pool, N.’s Mom later came home to see me. I was so nervous!! As if this was our first meeting.🤦‍♀️But no, this was not our first meeting just a reunion.

Anyway. Nico and I went down to the living room to wait for her. As soon as we heard the front door, I panicked! I was afraid his Mom will talk to me about the past. Philip & Nico, you know? However, N's Mom was nice to me, as she saw me there in her livingroom with Nico. She seemed surprised, but she guessed that Nico and I met again. She hugged me and told me I looked very pretty. I immediately felt welcome & a bit better. I was about to have some small talk with her, but N.’s Mom didn’t hesitate long. She changed the topic to my pregnancy...

N.'s Mom: Congratulations! I’m happy for you two.... When are you due?

Me: Do I look so fat, or-?... But well, 18 January is the exact due date. So, don't worry, we still have another five months ahead of us. 😳😬

N.'s Mom: You look stunning! Honestly. You're glowing like... the brightest star. It’s nice to see how happy you are. Do your parents know?

Me: Yes. N and I told my Mom, and she told my.... Dad.🤨

N.'s Mom: Wow, that’s good news! Your Dad knows and my son’s still alive. 😬🤷‍♀️That's.... good.

Me: Yea, really ... good. He-he😬 ....

Nico: All right, Ma! Now that you know... we're off!

N.'s Mom: No, no. Hold on! Wait a minute! I still have some questions for you two!... Let's sit down and talk, guys.

Nico: Come on, we don’t have time for this shit! I mean, what else is there to discuss? She’s pregnant, the baby’s coming in January, you and her parents know, we’re back together, I love her and that won’t change. That's all you have to know.

N.'s Mom: Uhm... no! Where are you two going to live? What about soccer? Should I take care of Aleksa again, while you’re abroad?... And what about Stephanie? She moved back into your apartment, N.!! 🤷‍♀️You’re planning on doing another weird thing? Aleksa and Stephanie together? With you? 🤨

Me: What?😨NEVER!!! Without ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😤😠

Nico: Whoa! Chill out, both of you! Stephanie is not an issue for me!! It's over, for a long time already! She'll move out! But A. & I are looking for a new place for us. Just us!! I’m here for 6 months now and in this time, I’ll take care of everything.

N.'s Mom: OK, I understand. But... what about your condition, A.? Are you stable? You know what I mean.

Me: What do YOU, think N.? Am I stable?... Why don’t you explain it to your Mom?

Nico: W-why would I do that?...  It’s none of her business, in my opinion. You..... really want that?

Me: Idk? I mean, I don't wanna talk about that. But I don’t mind if you tell her. 😞

N's Mom: Tell me, N... Please! 🙁

We all sat down to talk in peace about my addiction. I thought Nico was about to tell his Mom what we discussed with my Doc at the hospital. It was hard for me to talk about this issue. In general, I avoided this topic.... I was looking forward to my Baby and I was overjoyed to be a mother. But the fear for my baby, it could go through hell after birth, because of my damn pills, was... always lurking in the back of my brain somewhere. Nico and I never really talked about it, to be honest. But what if our Baby actually gets withdrawal symptoms and needs to be treated with morphine?? Idk? That’s why I asked Nico to enlighten his Mom, because I didn’t know how he felt about it. I didn’t know what to say and if he even wants me to talk about it.... Once we sat down, Nico got up again. He decided not to talk to his mother about it. I was confused! So I got up too. He grabbed my hand and told me we didn’t have to explain anything to his Mom.

Nico (to his Mom): Listen! She’s fine, she’s not hooked or so. That’s all you need to know.

Me: But-... Are we just leaving? 😳

Nico (to me): You don’t want this, I know that! I’m doing this for you! I promised...

Me: Yea, but your Mom isn't Melanie. You can explain everything to her. I don’t mind, I just can't talk about it myself.

Nico: But there’s nothing to explain, babe. You're fine! Our Baby's fine too! And I know it’s all gonna be okay. Trust me!

Me: Sure, I trust you. That’s why I’m here, with YOU! 🙂

N.'s Mom: What are you two talking about? Aleksa please sit down! You can talk to me.

Me: I know! But everything’s fine. Besides, that’s N.’s decision. He doesn’t want to talk about it rn. I respect that.

N.'s Mom: I'll call your Mom, A.

Me: Yea, just go on. Call her. I really don’t mind.

Nico and I went up to his room. I felt bad about his Mom, but I did what I thought was right. I was here with him, just visiting. So I followed N.... If that was right or wrong, I don’t know? Anyway, his Mom wasn’t mad at me, and she’ll get the answers to her questions anyway. But tbh, I was glad Nico got me out of that unpleasant situation/conversation.

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[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: panic attack, disease

Sandra’s last chapter started... 🌼😞

The next day I went to Sandra to pick up Liam. S. was the middle of moving. She asked me to take care of her little one. Before I went to her, I was in the hospital. My doc called me. He wanted to examine me again. It was about my blood levels. My leukocytes were elevated and since I was pregnant, he was a bit worried.

Though this was nothing new to me (my elevated Leukos), I was still scared as hell, when I got the call from the hospital. I was so terrified, that I got a panic attack.

Sandra: Did you have enough money for the cab? Why didn’t you call your parents to get you, or Daniel?

Me: Daniel has an appointment. I called my Mom. But it would have taken too long to wait for her. She was on the phone with me during the whole ride to distract me. She was so worried, it made me even more nervous, so I called you. And of course I had money with me.

Sandra: Now you're here & safe. You don’t have to be afraid, A.! Everything will be fine! Just continue to take those deep breaths..... Come, lay down on the couch.

Me: ..... Sorry S., but now I just don't want to be hugged. Pls don’t stress me!!

Sandra: Okay, I leave you alone. I won’t touch you, A... Try to relax.

Me: Thanks S.... Tell me something. What’s Liam doing?

Sandra: He’s asleep, but he’ll wake up soon. Yk, if this gets too much for you today with Liam, I can ask my Mom, or I take him with me? I just thought it would be good for you and Daniel to spend a day alone with Liam. Kind of.... a test.

Me: Daniel is good with Babies. Liam loves him. But you’re right! Now that I’m pregnant.... Let’s see, if Daniel even wants to take care of a Baby with me.

Sandra: I trust Daniel and you anyway. Is everything ok with you two? He seemed so quiet the other day.

Me: I slept with him last night. But.... agh, Idk? He's been so cold to me, this morning. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about it.

Sandra: Okay then.... tell me how your check up was? Why do you worry sm?

Me: Same damn issue as always.... My doc wanted to examine me more closely. He did an ultrasound to see if any white blood cells had accumulated in my organs. They’ll call me as soon as they get the results. But my Baby's fine. He told me not to worry.

Sandra: I know you’re terrified of being seriously ill. But you’re fine, A.! Your Baby is fine too, you just have to do something about your panic attacks. Did you take your pills?

Me: Yes! But I know why I got a panic attack. I’ve been thinking too much about the shit Irma told me six months ago. Daniel saw her. And just this morning, I also got that call from my doc. Right after D. told me about Irma that weirdo. You know?

As Sandra and I kept talking, the doorbell rang. Sandra told me she met a nice guy. He was her new neighbor. They met in that building/house, where her new apartment was. She liked him. He offered to help Sandra with the move, so he came by today.

While Sandra opened the door to her new neighbor, I walked over to Liam’s nursery. The little one woke up, but was still a bit tired. I stroked his head and smiled at him. As soon as Liam noticed me, he stretched out his arms, to take him out of his crib. So cute. Together we went back to the living room, where I put Liam in his high chair. At that moment Sandra’s new neighbor entered her apartment.

As I turned around, I saw a tall, young man standing in front of Sandra. While I was waiting for S. to introduce me to him, I noticed how she looked at him.  It was obvious, Sandra had a crush on that guy. Hm?... Ok, I got it! S. wanted to be alone with him. That’s why she needed me as a babysitter.

All right, then it's time for me to call Daniel to pick me & Liam up. I texted him. He’ll be there in a few minutes, but before Liam & I left, Sandra of course introduced me to her new... friend?

Sandra: That’s the...... nice guy, I told you about. Dario. He helps me with wallpapering and building up some furniture.

Me: Hey, D.! I'm Aleksa. Nice to meet you.

Dario: Hi!

Me: Um, well! You two are busy today. Can you please pack Liam’s things, S.? Daniel's already down there waiting for us.

Sandra: It's all done. I just have to get his sleeping bag. But we’ll help you carry his stuff in the car.

Me: C'mon sweetie! Uncle Danny’s waiting for you.

I didn’t talk much to Sandra’s new friend that day. From the first impression he seemed okay, but.....no! This guy’s gonna be S.’s worst nightmare, her..... end.😞 Some of you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, rn I don’t want to say more about him. At first everything seemed perfect. They were both in love and happy with each other, for almost 2 years. But unfortunately this guy was..... a psycho. 😔😢

And Daniel, he didn’t know Liam was gonna stay with us. But somehow D. knew, that I wanted to.... test him, to see if he could take care of a Baby with me. Well, let's see... 😬

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[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story

CW: trauma

P. was finally done with his semesters abroad!🥳 A year passed, things seemed to be back to normal and yet, so much has changed for every single one of us. I was glad he was there. All the arguments & fights he and I had, were almost forgotten. What remained is our close friendship. And Philip saved Daniel’s life. He was always there for me and he was by my side when I thought D. would die. 😞Without P., I would never have survived that..... horrible night in the ER. I could not speak, was injured and afraid Daniel would not survive it. Yea, all this (still) went through my mind.....

However, last year, was tough for P. too. Suddenly he had a Baby he didn’t know about!! He had to take care of Annabelle alone. Isabella took off! Her parents are wealthy people. With their lawyers, they managed to take over full custody of Annabelle. But Ana & I, will help P. & Annabelle. I got an idea how Philip could get custody back. I mean, he had a good job, an apartment, and he didn’t have to go abroad. So why could or should  Isabella’s parents keep custody of his Baby? There was absolutely no reason, to keep a child away from his biological parent. 🤷‍♀️

Also Nico and Philip weren’t fighting anymore. N. told Philip that I am pregnant. But he broke up with me bcs he felt like, I didn’t want to divorce Daniel. Anyway. I was a little scared to stay there that night, bcs of Ana. She was completely wasted. She was talking a bunch of crap!!! 😒 Damien caught us giggling outside Nico’s front door.  He was in the bathroom where the window was slightly open. He could hear everything Ana and I were talking about.🤦‍♀️But at this point he didn’t mention it yet! He just opened the door for us. In the next part it gets even more awkward. Just saying Ana!! She hasn’t seen Nico again, since he and I were back together. So... it might get a little uncomfortable.😬

And I didn’t have a.... wet dream about Damien & Daniel. Not really! However, it was not hot or as Damien called it, wet! But honestly? This is no surprise. Just look at Damien! You’d think he and Daniel were twins. That’s probably why I had this dream? It just overwhelmed me.

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[aleksa-sims]

RL Story (18+)

Daniel’s sister came to visit us. She brought me a dress. Daniel’s Mother gave it to me, it was from her vintage shop.

After T. went home, I unpacked my gift. I was so excited and curious. Daniel’s Mom paid for my wedding dress, which I discovered in her shop. But why did she give me a dress again? As I thought about the dress, I tried it on. Daniel also came to me in the bedroom, looking at me for a while without saying anything. I turned my eyes away from the mirror and smiled at him. But Daniel just shot me an annoyed look....

Me: Hey 🙂.... I wonder why your Mom gave me a dress again? It’s nice but it doesn’t suit me... I look pregnant in that dress.😕

Daniel: You are pregnant!

Me: I'm 3 months. I shouldn’t look pregnant yet.

Daniel: You keep that dress?

Me: Um... yea. Why not? Don't you like it?

Daniel: No! I hate it! I hate that you keep letting my mother influence you. You know what she did to me. Why do you even listen to her? Or accept her gifts?

Me: I was just being kind. She paid for my wedding dress. But I have not forgotten what she has done to you. I talked to her about it several times. She knows what I think of her as a mother. I’m on your side, not hers.

Daniel: She knows you want to divorce me. A wedding dress a few months ago, now you got a ..... dress for our divorce. That's her message behind that dress! You got it? This is who she is, my crazy Mother!..... She's not your friend! You have to understand!

Me: D., wait!.... I won’t divorce you. You’re right! I hate that dress. If that’s really true, I never want to talk to your mother again.

Daniel: You don’t take me seriously, just like her.

Me: Of course I do.... I take everything you do- or say seriously, maybe too seriously. I thought you were sick of me, so you left. And now come to me. Take off my dress.

Daniel: And what then?

Me: I missed you sm. For months, I’ve been imagining this with you. I wish you'd come back to me...more than anything else.

Daniel: I thought you couldn’t sleep with me? You said it feels weird to you, bcs you’re pregnant and it’s not my Baby.

Me: I didn't mean that.... I want you. And I love you.

Daniel: She was watching us...... more often than you think.

Me: Who’s watching us?

Daniel: Irma, babe. You told me yourself, you saw her in our mirror.

Me: Ah, I was high, Daniel.

I had no idea why Daniel suddenly mentioned Irma? Before I could ask him, he pushed me onto our bed and bent over me.

I knew he was upset about my divorce petition. But as soon as we kissed, everything was forgotten. I could no longer reject him. The longer I was with him, the more I wanted him. We were both totally... absorbed in each other. Still, I got a feeling something's off?

Me: You said she watched us...

Daniel: I was in my house.

Me: When?

Daniel: 2 Months ago. And..... Irma came to me, halfnaked. 🤨

Me: WHAT??😧 ... W-what did you do???

Daniel: Idk? I was... high. Someone covered all the mirrors in the house. But I was alone! So who was it? You get me?

Me: You said Irma that fucking weirdo was there. Naked!!!😖😒

Daniel: Agh, yeah. She came by, but I didn’t let her in the house! She just got me pissed off. She talked about that crazy ass-shit as usual. Her fucking premonitions.

Me: Ugh, I hate that bitch! But I'm sure it was your Mom! I remember exactly, the first time I visited you, she also covered a mirror. Maybe Irma that weirdo told her you were in the house. So she came by when you were sleeping.

Daniel: But that's not possible. When I kicked her out, I had the lock changed. Don't you remember?

Me: Shit.... You scare me, yk? Idk if I can live there?... Still D., I’m sure your crazy mother is behind it. Maybe you didn’t lock the door after all?

Me: Is that all you wanted to tell me? You still haven’t told me who that girl is, who was there yesterday.

Daniel: Forget that! That’s Alex’s business, not mine.... Yk, I still feel dead sometimes. You know what I’m talking about.

Me: Yes🙁.... I’m afraid I’m doing everything wrong again, so tell me what to do. I wanna help you get better.

Daniel: I see you’re trying. You’re pregnant and yet, you stay with me, instead of going to him.... Even if you’re not together, he wants you and his... kid. I’m kind of in your way.

Me: But I don’t wanna leave you.😞 I can't live without you. I need you and you me.

Daniel: That's not the point. Fact is, it's not my Baby! YOU’re mine and I don’t wanna let you go. But it doesn’t feel right, to chain you to me. It feels like compulsion. I don’t want to force you to do anything or make you feel like you have to stay with me.

Me: I wouldn’t mind being chained to you forever. So you never leave me again, like you did 5 months ago. 😟

Daniel: Then show me that you really want me. I need to feel & believe you wanna stay with me.

Me: I’ve only been here 2 days. I do everything you want, but I never know if I’m doing the right thing?

Daniel: You’re not supposed to do anything for me, just for yourself. You, got to want it.

I slept with him. Atm, I didn’t regret it. I loved him so much, I didn’t care that I was pregnant. I thought Daniel and I will just stay together after that night, but already the next morning, he started to behave strangely towards me. That- or actually he, got me totally down. Though I wished to stay with Daniel, I didn’t want to hurt N. And tbh, with N., I felt better, I think? It just gets more complicated and painful between Daniel and me.

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