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yikeswtfmate · 4 years

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Golden // Part 2

Summary: Y/N pays Sam a visit. He has some explaining to do.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: language; uh? sexual references? maybe???

A/N: listen. LISTEN. I am so excited about this. I’m so excited about this that I might turn this whole thing into a series. Is this how IAFAG came into being as well? Yes, it is. Am I as excited about this as I was about IAFAG? MAYHAPS! Here is the second part, I hope you like it!

(as always, thanks to @the-chocolate-bunny for cheering me on and shouting OHMYGOD over and over again when she’s reading whatever it is I’m sending her, you’re a clown but I love you)

previous part // masterlist

“Samuel Thomas Wilson!” Y/N shouts and her finger is so far in his pec that he has to swipe her hand away and rub at his chest. Good.

“It’s 7 in the morning.” He groans and just follows her trampling inside his kitchen. He watches with a pout as she’s turning on the coffee machine, taking out two mugs and the sugar jar – I just want to sleep some more, what did I do to deserve this on a Wednesday?

“Well, rise and shine, buttercup, because you have some explaining to do!”

Sam yawns and sits down, practically melting over the kitchen island. She pushes a coffee right next to his nose, where the smell and heat should be enough to keep his eyes open.

“Why am I even friends with you?” Sam mumbles, but Y/N just looks at him unimpressed. “What?”

“You know Steve.” She says and good god, does she look pissed.

“Ok, honey. I’m gonna have to ask you to be a little more specific. I own a bar, I know too many Steves to count and most of them aren’t even worth you coming over here at 7 in the morning.”

Y/N looks pointedly at Sam as if by magic he could read her thoughts – which wouldn’t be surprising in normal circumstances, the man is scarily accurate, especially when she’s trying to hide her flings away from him. In his defence, she did knock at his door for 10 minutes to wake him up and then nearly tackled him to the ground, even though she has a goddamned key. But then again, he might have an inkling on who exactly she’s talking about, considering he never does anything without knowing exactly what the results might be.

“Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, beard, built like a fucking tank, unable to buy shirts his own size, owns a stupid bike?!” Y/N is aware that her voice is turning into a brassy squeal by the end of her sentence, but at least now Sam is starting to look more alive. He’s raising one of his eyebrows, which could only mean there’s some sense of recognition at her words.

“Don’t tell me the idiot finally talked to you.” He’s chuckling in his coffee mug, as if this would explain what just happened an hour ago.

“Sam.” She presses, staring pointedly at him. “More words, less sphinx-like riddles, please.”

He rolls his eyes, but puts his mug down with a sigh. He knew this would happen, hoped this would happen if that idiot Golden Retriever would just get his shit together already but he didn’t expect Steve to be a little asshole. Bucky, sure, but Steve? Yeah, ok, fine, Steve can be an asshole too.

“Remember when you asked me to help you move a while back?”

“And you convinced me to go for a run at 5 in the fucking morning with you in exchange for that? And you stood me up because apparently you slept through your alarms? That somehow involved Clint for some goddamn reason, but if I think about it now, I have no idea how that happened considering you don’t live with Clint.” She’s literally voicing her thought process, which in turn makes Sam proud – she’ll put two and two together soon enough. “Unless you both slept at the bar that night and somehow…wait. No. Sam, you dick, you planned this?!” There it is.

Sam leans over the table and pats Y/N on the head – one, two, three and she’s batting his hand away. She’s fuming, but it’s great seeing her get so worked up. Ah yes, Sam thinks, there’s nothing funnier than meddling in Y/N’s life. To be fair, it’s not like she’s regretted any of his plotting – she’d actually let him take all her decisions for her if there wouldn’t be something called rEsPoNsiBiLitY and other disgusting adult stuff. But couldn’t he have meddled with this Steve earlier? Couldn’t he have told her there’s a hunk of man that she’d like to climb like a tree the day they met?

“Explain yourself before I either self-combust in rage or tell Clint you’re allowing him to eat all the peanuts in the bar.”

“He knows better than to obey orders that don’t come directly from me, sweets, but at least you tried.” Sam chuckles, which earns him another whine. “Fine! Goddamn, woman, sometimes I wonder what I did in a past life to deserve this. I was with Steve when you called me and your weird face came up on my phone. He kept hinting at wanting to meet you but I played dumb and wouldn’t give him anything.”

“I – what?!” Y/N screeches yet again, and Sam swears he might just buy some noise blocking headphones.

“It was his birthday present.” He shrugs.

“What was?”

“Making you two meet, you dumb clown.”

Y/N looks at Sam, a mystified frown on her face. He can practically see “Processing” right on her forehead. It’s the most fun he’s had in months and if he ever had any doubts about his mischievous plans, he now knows with certainty that it was all worth it. He takes a sip of his coffee, patiently waiting for her to talk, because she’s a talker, after all, she’ll either let out a final screech that will wake up the whole building or he’ll suffer through an endless tirade of ingenious expletives.

“Wait, hold up.” She finally says, one hand raised, as if he’d ruin her reaction by talking. Come on, Y/N, baby, you know me better than this, and she does. “Let me get this straight. You knew Steve was already interested, you knew that we kept meeting in the park every morning and knew I was also interested, yet you’ve kept quiet until now?”

“That’s exactly right, babygirl.” Sam grins.

She smacks him then – lunging over the kitchen island, right over his head, making him nearly dunk his face in his coffee. Sam tries his best to show that he’s furious at her reaction, but it’s an unfortunately common occurrence, so that wouldn’t stick.

“Why would you hurt me in this way, Samuel?” Y/N wails, throwing herself on the table – dramatics, this is why only Steve could handle you. “Have I not been a good friend to you? Have I not kept your secret that you wore braces when you were a kid? Have I not brought you coffee whenever you asked for it in college? Have I not introduced you to Bucky?”

“First of all, I did it because Steve had to be taught a lesson. And second of all, it was payback because you did tell someone I’ve worn braces in middle school. And that was Bucky!”

Y/N scoffs and crosses her arms. They’re stuck in a match of pouts and throwing around blame – a game they’ve played since childhood, but Y/N is bad at it, as always, and she’s the first to relent, as always.

“What lesson?” She mumbles.

“What?”

“What lesson did you have to teach Golden Boy?” Y/N repeats herself, enunciating each word.

“To learn to ask for what he wants.” Sam grins.

“And what’s that?”

“You.” Sam rolls his eyes, already tired of this conversation, why can’t his friends just sort this out together anyway? “He wants you, Y/N, but he was too much of a coward to ask.”

That’s the moment Sam’s phone starts pinging with what sounds like an entire waterfall of messages. He groans, standing up from his chair, because really what the fuck is up with people today and waking him up at 7 in the morning on a goddamn Wednesday?

At least Y/N stays put in her own seat, watching him like a hawk as he retrieves his phone from his bedroom. It’s lighting up like crazy and as he reads the messages, he can’t help but start laughing like a certified villain.

“Your boy is having a meltdown.” He finally supplies an explanation to Y/N’s confusion.

Before she can even open her mouth in a futile attempt to deny having “a boy” or even ask who he might be talking about, because let’s be honest, it’s not like she’s been wondering what it’d be like to tap that ass in the few minutes it took Sam to come back, he thrusts his phone right in her face.

Oh god, Sam, I talked to her today

Holy shit she’s even prettier from up close

Fuck, I think she caught me staring at her butt

What if she thinks I’m a creep?

AND I ASKED HER OUT??!?!?!?!

HOW COULD I EVER THINK SHE’D SAY YES????

BUT SHE SAID YES????

WHY DID SHE SAY YES??????????

SAM WHAT THE FUCK SHE SAID YES AND I HAVE A DATE WITH THE HOTTEST GIRL I’VE EVER MET AND NOW I HAVE TO CALL HER AND I’M EXCITED BUT HOLY SHIT WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO HER????????

I’VE ACTED LIKE SUCH A DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!

I TOLD HER I’LL PICK HER UP ON MY BIKE AND SHE SOUNDED SO CONFUSED WHAT IF SHE DOESN’T LIKE BIKERS???????????

SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I’m in love

By the end of the last message, a huge grin is splitting Y/N’s face. Sam knows this reaction too well for comfort and oh shit, what have I started, but it’s too late now and she’s already typing.

“Really, Y/N? On my phone? I might just have to throw it in a river now.” Sam sighs as he reads over her shoulder.

She lifts a shoulder in a shrug, but the grin doesn’t leave her face. Waking up at 5 in the morning might not be so horrible in the end if she gets to send messages like this to a Golden Boy who is having the most adorable meltdown over her.

I might be impartial to bikes, but I’m definitely not impartial to you or your butt, Stevie

***

Everything Marvel Taglist:

@bonkywobble

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic

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junethewriter · 3 years

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Paris

Modern Muggle Wolfstar AU A lot of fluff. Your heart may explode from it. If you get a fluff heart attack, I will not be held accountable.

Paris. The city of light. One of the best tourist spots in the world, and one of the most beautiful. Sirius Black was taking the most beautiful person in his life, Remus Lupin, to see it.

Remus had never been to Paris, but Sirius was brought up speaking French and going to France, Italy, and other grand places of the world. So Sirius decided he was going to help Remus a lot through this trip.

When they finally decided they would go on this trip, the two boys had been dating for about five years. They arrived at the airport at 5:00 AM, and their flight didn't leave until 7, so they had a few hours to kill. They said goodbye to raven haired James, Sirius' best friend, and green-eyed, redheaded, freckly Lily, who Remus had known forever. They had just gotten married last year. Now, they were expecting a little boy. Harry, they were going to call him. Harry Potter. Sirius liked this name a lot.

"Bye James! Bye Lils!" Sirius called through the airport, his shouts echoing off the crisp walls and all the people of so many different ethnicities from all around the world looking at him. He just smiled at the people and continued on his merry way. Remus rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, waved at James and Lily (who waved back, then proceeded to leave the airport) and followed Sirius.

"Sirius... where... are... you... going... in... such a... hurry?" Remus asked, while struggling to keep up with his boyfriend.

"I'm gay. I walk fast. I'm just going to get some Starbucks, I barely ate anything this morning. Do you want anything?"

"Maybe a chai tea."

"Got it."

A chai tea, black coffee (Sirius thinks it's hilarious he drinks black coffee. "Remus! I'm Sirius Black! Black coffee! Get it?"), several hours of phone scrolling, bullshit conversations, and music listening, it's 6:30.

"Rem, let's go board the plane." Sirius says gently, with his hand in Remus' golden curls.

"Mk," he responds, and starts to walk to the desk.

After about ten minutes of waiting, they get to the front.

"Tickets?" the lady at the desk asks. Remus pulls them out and hands them to her. Soon, she hands them back and they start off to board the plane.

"I'm so excited Sirius!" Remus says in a joyful, almost giddy voice, amber eyes shining with excitement.

"So am I! It'll be my first time in Paris with my favorite person." Sirius responds, obsidian locks swinging behind him as he lugs the heavy suitcases behind him.

When they get on the flight, they find their seats and sit down. They do their seatbelts and wait. Soon, the plane starts to take off. Remus is a bit scared at first, as he's never been on a plane before, but Sirius calms him down. Soon, Remus' head has found it's way to Sirius' shoulder and is peacefully asleep as Sirius reads a book.

When they land, hours later, Remus is awake. Very awake. He nearly leaps out of his window seat and climbs over Sirius to get their luggage when the plane has stopped.

"That was incredible Sirius! Why have I never done that before?" Remus says in his giddy voice from before.

"It's pretty great, huh?" Sirius says, smiling at his boyfriends excitement. As Remus runs into the airport, his curls bounced behind him in golden ringlets.

Sirius rented a car and they drove down the the hotel they had a reservation at. They checked in, and went up to their room. By this time, it was 5:00 PM.

"Sirius, I am exhausted." Remus says, and flops down onto the bed.

"Tell me about it." Sirius says, and lays next to him.

"I have a really random urge to write a poem or something right now." Remus says, clearly thinking, and stands up.

"Well, go ahead! I love your poems!" Sirius says, urging him on. Remus sits at the desk and grabs some paper and a hotel pen, then beings to write. Remus is many things, but a bad writer is not one of them. In fact, he's really a rather good one. Soon enough, he finishes the poem, folds it neatly, and places it in his bag.

"I want to read it!" Sirius says, making no effort to retrieve the poem, or even to move from his spot on the bed.

"Too bad." Remus flops down next to Sirius.

"Fine. I wanna take you somewhere tomorrow."

"Like where?"

"Like somewhere."

Remus rolls his eyes and gets comfortable under the covers.

"You'll know tomorrow." Sirius says, doing the same.

Remus wakes up before Sirius the next morning.

"Sirius. Sirius. Sirius. It's tomorrow. I need to know where we're going."

"Breakfast first." Sirius says from somewhere under a pillow and some covers.

Breakfast, as it turned out, was cereal, pastries, and yoghurt.

"Now can we go?" Remus asks, clearly impatient.

"Yes. Fine. Okay. We shall." Sirius responds. They head out of the hotel and Sirius mentions they can walk to the place. While they're walking, Remus starts to really appreciate the beauty of France. They had many old buildings, stone streets, and everyone was so friendly. They all waved hello at each other and Remus thought it would be pleasant to live here.

After maybe ten minutes of walking, Sirius announced that they had arrived. Before them stood the great Eiffel Tower, one of the most famous structures in the world. It stood tall, much taller than Remus had ever imagined. There were many more people than Remus had imagined as well. Every tourist seemed to flock to this spot, like ants to honey. After some time waiting in line, it was their turn. They went up to the very top, where Remus felt like he was the king of France, the king of the world, where all the people looked like insects, mere specks among the great buildings.

"Remus?" Sirius asked, clearly nervous.

"Yeah?" Remus asked, tearing his eyes away from the beautiful scene before him.

"I brought you up here to ask you something. It might sound cheesy, but you're my favorite part of my day. The thing that keeps me smiling. Laughing. Going. So, Remus Lupin, would you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?" Sirius got down on one knee and opened up a black ring box to reveal a intricately carved ring inside. Remus nearly burst into tears.

"Y-yes, of course!" Remus said, smiling more than he had ever in his life. Sirius slipped the ring on his finger and hugged him tight. "What a creative way to propose, Sirius. On top of the Eiffel Tower. A+ for creativity." Remus said between sobs filled with joy.

"Now, will you read me that poem?" Sirius asked Remus, a tint of hope in his voice.

"Of-of course," Remus said, pulling it out of his back pocket, and began to read.

Nothing Without You

No one really is quite like you. Everyone else is so quick to say stuff, but not you. You have been here for me from the beginning. You got me through it all, and you never got angry at me when I did something. It's astounding how much I care about you. I don't get why you care for me, either. Why do you care so much, anyway? What's keeping you from just walking out? I can't explain what this feels like to me. I don't even know what I'm feeling. I feel like I'm nothing without you. But you would argue differently. You would say that I'm something without you. And that's what made me fall in love you with you. Because I might be something without you But I'm everything with you.

A/N

idk what to do with myself. this was so cheesy. please excuse me. idk. if you're reading this, wtf. you either skipped the whole thing or you have a lot of patience. literally this was so horrible wtf idk why i wrote this

#no #fuck this #wolfstar #ugh #cheesy

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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ST: TNG S4 Watchthrough Episodes 14-17

Clues: As the title hints, we have a mystery episode. The crew gets knocked out for thirty seconds… or so they think. Things are clearly not adding up like one of Crusher’s experiments having advanced a full day despite having just set it up before the knock out. The only one who can explain is Data, the only one who wasn’t knocked out… but he won’t. Why? Well… I won’t spoil it. Let’s just say that it’s pretty wild. Since I won’t spoil it, I can’t really say a lot about it. But it was an interesting episode as the crew puts together the pieces and them trying to get Data to talk. Data’s not one to lie without a good reason for it, so there has to be a mass reason as to why. And ho boy, did he have a reason alright. Pretty good all in all. 3/5.

First Contact: No, not the movie. So here we have the Enterprise making first contact with a society preparing to go into warp for the first time. Riker went undercover among them… but he got injured and found out as human. Whoops. Seems business as usual, right? Well… we have a bit of a twist. All of this is from the perspective of the Pre-Warp society. We see what the Enterprise’s encounter is like from the POV of the aliens, and it makes this a lot more interesting. Now we know that the crew is good guys and Picard is very much a stickler for the Prime Directive so he won’t allow any interference of the society’s progress… but they don’t. There’s a sense of wonder as well as fear. I mean if what to you is a bunch of futuristic aliens show up out of nowhere, one of them had integrated into your society, they are clearly more highly advanced than you, and start going on about a Federation of planets and the like, how would you react? Some of us may be all for it, others of us would be terrified/paranoid, and some may fall anywhere else in between. Malcor III seems to be on par with regular Earth at the time, maybe a bit more advanced, but ultimateley the events in the episode has them decide not to go forward with space exploraiton and turn down the Federation’s help. At least until they’re more prepared, which they currently aren’t. They do get Riker back, so that’s good~! The different perspective really made this one stand out, the Malcorians coming off as properly concerned about all of this, but overall reasonable about it. Well aside form one guy who is too paranoid over it, but it feels like we got a decent balance of ‘paranoid asshole’, ‘awed by the possibilities’, and ‘concerned but willing to listen’ with the three we see the most. The only issue I have is Riker more or less was potentially ugh… treated inapproprotiatley by an alien-obsessed woman… and it’s treated as a joke. Umm… WTF?! Other than that, good episode~ 4/5.

Galaxy’s Child: Of all the episodes that they decided to follow up on… they picked Boody Trap. Y’know, the one where Geordi made the hologram of one of the Enterprise designers to help solve the Problem of the Week. Now I tried to be nice when I went over that episode since I assumed that it would be a one-off…. but this one has caused me to no longer be able to brush off the episode as such. Look, I love Geordi and I don’t think he means to be this was intentional and the hologram thing was genuinely for work… but this episode portrays him as an utter creep using the Nice Guy card to justify himself. He fell for the hologram of Dr. Brahms and when she arrives on the Enterprise and turns out to be nothing like the hologram, he’s not too happy. But he tries to push it anyways and it’s just…. no. It gets worst when Brahms sees the hologram and I am fair, she had every right to be angered and disturbed by it and Geordi trying to force something between them. It was one thing when it happened as it did during Boody Trap, at least he remained focused on the task there, but here? I just… I know this was the 90’s but… ugh. It just looks utterly horrible now. I guess the point of the episode was that when you fantasize about someone and they don’t match that fantasy, you need to accept it and see them as they are. I don’t feel like Geordi is being necessarily presented as in the right… but it IDT they really saw how the execution makes it ook really wrong and especially now in the wake of the MeToo movement… yeah. It’s not as horrid as certain events in TOS’ The Enemy Within was by any means and it has a relevant message about not expecting your fantasies to be the reality, but other shows have done that much better. So unless there’s another follow-up that I’m unaware of, I have zero interest in revisiting this or Boody Trap ever again and I hope that if they have to give Geordi a failed romance plot (wasn’t he over that by Transfiguration though?), they portray him a Hell of a lot better than here. 2/5.

Night Terrors: So in this episode, the crew finds themselves unable to fall asleep. Specifically, they can’t achieve REM sleep. Aside from Data, who as an android doesn’t need sleep, the only one who can is Troi… but she has nightmares that involve flying and strange messages. Due to the lack of sleep, everyone’s losing it. Emotions are high, several hallucinate, memory lapses, and they are unable to properly do to their jobs. Which gets really bad when the engines won’t work. As someone who has constant insomnia, they all have my sympathy. So I looked it up and apparently lack of REM sleep can indeed cause issues as we saw here. Crazy, huh? Okay, let’s get the obvious out of the way. Yes, the Flying Troi bits were pretty silly. Aside from that… it was fine. For an episode called Night Terrors, it… didn’t really have a lot of terror. The only scenes that legit freaked me out was the covered corpses rising when Crusher was in the morgue and Worf almost killing himself. Even Troi’s nightmares were more silly than scary as previously noted. The rampant paranoia and everyone just… losing the ability to function is legit freaky though. Seriously Worf’s meltdown and Troi having to talk him down… that was heavy. Otherwise, it’s gone. Could have been better, could have been worst. A fine watch all in all. Also Guinan with the Big Laser Gun? Amazing. Honestly, it was pretty much the female characters solving all th problems in this episode and not losing their minds like pretty much all the male characters (that aren’t Data) did, so good job ladies~! 3.5/5.

#st watchthrough

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thevioletjones · 4 years

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The Ian & Mickey Show

Week 9

Timestamps

3:33-4:54 - Ian wakes up hugging a pillow, presumably missing Mickey’s absent body. There’s a loud rumbling and an embarrassingly clown car-ish honking outside the house waking everybody up. It’s Mickey making a grand entrance on that sweet mint green Vespa scooter, and (very horribly and stiffly) “making out” with this unfortunate looking tiny twink named Byron (they def picked the most pretentious name possible for this interloper). Mickey is for sure putting on a big show for Ian that’s like 30% revenge, 70% pettiness. At first, you would think Mickey just paid some rando to act a part for a little while, but I guess Mickey is just conning this lil guy. Mickey grabs his ass in front of Ian, boasts about the guy’s “super tight asshole,” and casually strolls past him to get into the Gallagher house, because I guess he’s still staying there. And also, Ian’s leg is broken, but we knew that, cuz Cam. {For a better scene, keep the video rolling past the 4:54 mark and ogle Jeremy Allen White naked in the shower. It was his turn this week I guess. You’re safe, Cam.}

6:37-8:20 - Ian eats breakfast with Liam & Carl, and they discuss Mickey’s being off with the other dude, and it’s clear that Ian thinks Mickey is just lashing out and once it’s out of his system, he’ll just come back. Lip and his baby mama and her crazy Trumper aunt are in the scene as well. They all concur that in Lip’s words, “Ian left Mickey at the altar,” but Ian doesn’t see it that way. He honestly thinks they were gonna get married for the wrong reason. His contradiction and ambivalence is honestly the only thing that feels realistic about all of this mess.

13:30-14:36 - Mickey continues needling Ian very broadly and obviously about how great this Byron kid is and how much sex they’ve been having, and even implies he’s a Koch, which is silly. Mickey goes so far as to claim he’s in love with this guy (they met last night) and says he’s moving in with him. It’s dumb-o.

18:35-20:58 - Ian somehow just now discovers that 50% of all marriages end in divorce????? That’s been true for so long now, even someone the show is now painting as kind of an idiot (but not half as big of one as Mickey is) would know that stat. It’s just more EXPOSITION. Anyway, he’s hanging out with Liam in the kitchen, and Debbie comes in. Ian tells her that: “Mickey’s a punk, and he’s decided he’s gonna fuck other people if I don’t marry him.” She says Ian’s just scared, and he should marry Mickey to make him happy, even if it does end in divorce eventually. Ian’s all, “I’m not scared,” but not even Liam believes him. Ian invites Liam to go run an errand, and they steal Trumpy Aunt’s wallet on the way out.

28:06-28:54 - OMG, small Byron has that bright Disco Overlook Hotel area rug from Ikea that I really wanted to buy some years back adorning the floor of his tiny loft. Sad face. Anyway, Mickey barges in and throws his garbage bag of crap everywhere and says he won’t share the bed, Byron needs to sleep on the floor. Says some lines about when he wants his dinner served, and how they’ll only have sex when Mickey wants to, and obviously he’ll top cuz this dude’s “basically a chick,” which is a funny line, tbh. ALSO, this pretty much proves they haven’t even actually banged, since they haven’t even discussed preferences. Lol. So yeah, Mickey is using this kid for anything and everything he can, cuz he found a big ol’ sweetie pie pushover (that’s maybe a little bit afraid of him).

33:50-34:36 - Ian makes Liam try on engagement man-rings, because: “Mickey has freakishly small hands.” They’re at the Alibi and combing through the jewelry a shady hawker is selling. Ian buys two rings on Trumpy Aunt’s credit card.

42:53-44:52 - I really miss Ian & Lip scenes, tbh. I used to love their brotherly friendship. Some of the old magic feels back in this scene, idk. Ian tells Lip he’s gonna go propose to Mickey. Lip asks him why, and Ian says it’s cuz he loves him, but then after a pause says that Debbie told him to. Even though Ian wants Mickey back, he also clearly wants Lip to talk him out of marriage, which he kind of does (for now). Lip says he should do it one day, after he figures out why he doesn’t want to now.

47:06-51:10 - A genuine FOUR MINUTE scene! Ian shows up at Byron’s place (where’d he get the address tho???) and Mickey’s been hanging out there for like a handful of hours maybe, but this lil dude just wants him GONE already. Lmao. He clearly knows who Ian is and practically runs into his arms in a grateful hug, saying, “Oh, thank god, PLEASE take him back!” Ian is like wtf, and waits as this guy calls Mickey “honey” and says he has a visitor. Mickey makes another big show implying impending sexy times, grabbing at a very not into it Byron as he retreats up the stairs. Mickey seriously greets Ian like, “What’s up, bro!” I meeeean... Anyway, Ian I guess decided in transit that he’s not gonna propose, he’s just gonna say these are “promise rings” and has some line about how: “Gallaghers and marriage don’t mix well, but a Gallagher keeps his promise.” Since... when??? Like... Frank??? And... what??? Lol... Mickey’s not buying that shit either. He makes a good point about Ian not even wearing his “promise ring” on his finger, but around his neck instead (someone caught a Sex & the City rerun where Carrie carries that rock on a necklace, cuz she’s def not sure about marrying Aidan), where no one can even see it. Ian says he’s not saying “never” to marriage, and Mickey counters that he’s actually saying that he doesn’t love Mickey enough right now. And then he says he’s got Barry anyway, and Ian has to correct the name, which is a nice touch, I’ll admit. And then comes Cam’s best bit of acting on this show in like Y-E-A-R-S. I always thought he did best when he was in depressed/manic mode, and that comes through here when Ian actually gets to the heart of his real fears about committing fully to Mickey, which are of course that he doesn’t trust himself and doesn’t think Mickey should be tied to him and all his crazy bullshit. He doesn’t understand how Mickey can know for sure that he loves him. All that internalized shit is stuff I can easily actually relate to, and this is really the first 100% truly honest moment we’ve had between IxM in all of season 10. I hope we get one or two more by the end. I don’t really completely buy Mickey’s reaction being, “When you get over the ‘I’m not worthy of being loved’ shit, gimme a call,” because he is the fucking KING of not thinking he’s worthy of being loved! That's always been a huge component of who he is, and how I always write him to be, personally (always struggling to think of himself as worthy of anything good, particularly love, among many many other internal struggles, obvs). He also knows exactly how low Ian can get on his down-swings, and since we know from s5 that Mickey likes taking care of Ian, I just don’t think he’d treat him this way. I’m not saying he would give in, but we would see some softness come through. A lighter touch. Anyway, Ian looks super sad as he walks away, but then he spots Barry’s Vespa in the alleyway and gets his own bit of petty revenge (on the wrong person) by pissing in his gas tank, cuz Shameless!

Episode Tally: 8 scenes. 13 mins 10 secs.

#sorry this got so long lol #guess i had some thoughts #ian x mickey #gallavich #the ian & mickey show #shameless spoilers #10x09 #timestamps #shameless

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iggy-of-fans · 5 years

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Daminette AU part 3

I just want to say thank you so much for the people who liked, reblogged and asked to be tagged! I wasn't sure this would be received well and I'm so grateful you all like it! So here's part three, of about four or five parts. It gets intense again after some fluff and I hope I keep your interest. Please let me know what you think! I love feedback!

Justice League meets Miraculous, Adrien breaks more than his mind

Adrien has been seeing Maria's ghost everyday but doesn't show it. He's been planning to get the Miraculi of the ladybug and the black cat, so he can wish Mari back, and make a perfect world for her, where Alya, Nino and even Lila and Chloe all get along and his mother and father are well and together (when the police searched the mansion they found Emily Agreste's near corpse and brought her to the hospital. Turns out all she needed was proper medical care, but she was trying to use Dusuu to be free from Gabriel forever and by extension Adrien because he was just like his father in her eyes) and everything is happy in his world. He thinks it's Marinette's mission to him to make sure everyone is happy and it's what she wants. He is so far gone, and thinks the Miraculous Cure and his wish will make everything okay and so is willing to kill whoever he needs to. So he breaks out of prison, killing the guards for the "name of love". He then goes to find Nino and Alya, to help him get Mari back. And Alya says yes. She wants revenge on Ladybug for letting her get put into jail, she's just doing her job! She still thinks Lila was innocent, but she also feels bad that Marinette commited suicide, because she thinks that they could all just be friends. So she thinks Adrien's demented plan will turn everything perfect, with her two besties finally getting along. Nino is finally realizing how demented everything had turned, and he says he'll help, but plans on telling Ladybug as soon as he can.

Marinette wakes up at Wayne Manor, Damien is asleep in a chair next to the bed in some sweats and a t-shirt. His wounds were healed but he's still dead tired. At the foot of the bed lies Captain, the kwamis all cuddled up in his fur. Next Marinette notices she's wearing a shirt (likely Damien's since it falls only off one shoulder. The scar on her arm where the kids from Paris injured her is plainly visible, a big pink puffy reminder that she isn't good enough for this wonderful family that have been taking care of her. Damien wakes up suddenly when she tries to move and looks so relieved she's awake. He immediately gets up and asks her if he can hug her, because he'd been so worried. She asks why and finds out she's been near comatose for almost a week. The Kwamis and Captain all wake up and join her, hugging her and checking her over. She realizes just how much energy it took out of her to bring back all the people who died and rebuild three cities. She asks him why he still cares when he's seen her scars and he looks at the arm she holds out. He asks her is she trusts him and when she nods, he takes his shirt off, revealing his back full of scars from his early childhood training and his chest from his hero work. He tells her that she made him accept himself, scars, flaws and all, because she had always treated him with kindness, no matter which mask he wears. She's so touched, and she hugs and cries into his shoulder, because no one has ever accepted Marinette so completely. Eventually they realize how hungry they are and Damien throws his shirt back on and grabs a nicer, long sleeved shirt for Marinette and some shorts that fit her like capris.

Downstairs at lunch, the entire bat family is sitting, like zombies, dead tired and worried about their littlest member when Damien and Marinette join them. They are all out of their seats and swarming around Marinette, asking her if she's okay and what she needs to feel better (tea? Chocolate? Dessert?) and she finally feels loved and just asks for whatever food is already made. Alfred has been making any of her favorites he knows of every day hoping she'd wake up and he brings all the leftovers out for her to enjoy. He even tried his hand at French macaroons and she tears up because she's so grateful. While at lunch, Bruce tells her that the league wants to meet her, especially Wonder Woman, since her mom used to be a Ladybug before. Marinette worries about this but Bruce assures her that she would be well guarded with at least one of the Wayne's around, and Captain and Titus there as well. She was also allowed to come fully transformed so that she can just disappear whenever she felt the need to. So she smiles and agrees to meet them, and they plan a huge Gala for the League and Teen Titans to meet their newest little member, and he explains it will be civis for everyone else and why.

A week later, (Marinette has been going back to the pent house because she still feels better about it, and she needed clothes) at 11 in the morning, Bruce started welcoming member of the League into his home. They came dressed in casual wear, hidden under illusions for some of the more outlandish looking members. They are all comfortable in the Gala room when Damien walks in, guiding Marinette (dressed in her own design, a casual summer dress with a Mandarin Collar and long red lace sleeves with black polka dots and a black skirt that fades to red at the shoulders, and a simple black mask) and everyone's jaw drops. Bruce and the batfam all walk to the entrance and Bruce introduces "Guardian Angel" a play on Damian's nickname for her and her duty as guardian of the Miraculi (and because to them she really is a guardian angel, because she's always there when they need her most, or just seems to know when they need her). Embarrassed but not willing to let her mood be ruined, Marinette smiles shyly at them all. The rest are still trying to pick up their Jaws. This beautiful little mite is the one that saved their lives? Wow! And is Damian actually SMILING? Wtf?

Diana is the first to recover and goes to meet the newest Ladybug, saying she's practically her sister because her mother had been Ladybug once and she wanted to know everything she could. Marinette tells the League about what happened in Paris, and at first they deny that they could've missed that. But when they check their phones they're shocked. With the Mayor being imprisoned, the news finally leaked world wide and sure enough, it was all there, every detail. They were shocked, seeing how the continued exposure desensitized the citizens and how horrible people acted towards each other. They all apologized to her for not stepping in, but commended her for her ingenuity, leadership skills, and ability to keep level headed even though she's so young. She smiles and meets everybody, guessing who most of their superhero personas were by herself. She is never without Damian at her arm, getting anything she could want, and the Teen Titans and Super Boy notice this. They're all shocked at Damian's turn about, how he reacts to the slightest twitch or facial change, how he steps in and changes the subject, or how he leads her exactly where she needs to be. When lunch is served, Alfred makes sure all her favorites are there, and when the dancing starts, the batfam all dance with her, but Damian doesn't even look at Raven when she asks for a dance, simple humming before stepping back in to escorts Marinnette off.

In Paris things are taking a dark turn. Max refuses to help them, having learned this lesson, but they manage to kill his parents and only helping them get to Gotham will make his life better. He manages to hack the Agreste plane and autopilot it to USA. Once there, the two crazed teens and two reluctant teens start making their way across to Gotham, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind. The closer they get the more despicable. They stop off in Metropolis and meet Lex Luther, who is willing to give them whatever they want to kill the new heroine in Gotham. Nino, with the help of Max, is finally able to send a warning out to Gotham, a video that he sends out to everyone who lives in Gotham that Adrien is coming, that he used to be Chat Noir and that he's completely lost his mind.

As the Gala is coming to an end, Tim's phone beeps with a notification that one of his flagged words got picked up on. He plays the video for everyone to hear and Marinette becomes paler by the second.

To be Continued….

@spicybelladonna @nyctamaximoff @kuroko26 @captainmac6 @fsketchart @2sunchild2 @bitterheart12224 @abrx2002

@ginamarie1512 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen

Anyone who asked to be tagged, I really hope I did this right!

#marinette dupain cheng #maribat #maridami #marinette deserves better #Batfam #Damian Wayne #Damian Wayne AU #Gotham #Justice League #Adrien salt #Alya salt #Nino Lahiffe #Daminette

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eddisfargo · 4 years

Text

CoMC Chapter 117--THE LAST CHAPTER

CHAPTER 117

The Fifth of October

38 minutes

THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS! The LAST chapter!! And look at that name--we’re closing it off with just one last Dumas Countdown™, because this is the deadline at which our sad little son is supposed to kill himself. And/or discover Juliet.

And I am off to listen! Wish me luck!!

OK I’M BACK, and I listened to it last night, and posted my “FIN” interlude, and now I’m finishing this! So bittersweet!!

So…… I don’t know what I was expecting. Hahaha I mean I guess I do, and in some ways it was spot on, but I was kind of expecting Val to pop in and stop Morrel from killing himself, not for MC to just… give him fake poison. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Time to do the thing I’ve been doing where I put the book on doublespeed and skip around!

Also I didn’t do that and it’s days later because I procrastinated this for some reason wanted to give the story some time to marinate so I’m doing something unprecedented and I’m going to post this immediately after I write it. If I’d queued it like normal it would’ve gone up at like 4am today but it’s 10:30am and I still haven’t written it. (11:30am by the time I’m posting it! lol) Every other chapter went up by last night! But hey, LONG ONE INCOMING.

Getting this out of the way in advance so I don’t have to end on this note: Albert is not, after all, ever mentioned again.

So Morrell is sailed into Monte Cristo (the island not the d00d) by a guy who turns out to be Yucky Jacopo. He is a very sad guy because this is the last day of his life (no it isn’t), but he gets all happy when he sees his bff MC. And MC is happy too--he’s all laughy, which Morrel notes as him basically being a different person. But MC’s like “OH YEAH I FORGOT THAT HAPPINESS IS FLEETING” like okaaaaay. And Morrel’s like “well glad that you’re either feigning happiness for my comfort or you’re totally OK with my death which is in like 3 hours.” and MC’s like “I chose c) none of the above.”

And MC’s like “wait you’re not feeling better? Weird!” And he does this WEIRD interrogation of exactly what kind of sad Morrel is and whether he’s “consoled” or not (“consoled” apparently includes being basically heart-dead). Morrel’s happy because MC’s going to give him a nice easy death and he can die in a friend’s arms. And it turns out Max has been kind of hoping for a miracle which is clearly not coming after all (yes it is).

So Max is like “OK you know how you know literally everything and are basically from a higher plane and I trust you absolutely?” and MC’s like “yes that’s correct, go on?” (the higher plane is called “grief” btw).

So it turns out MC’s concerned that Max is… not unhappy enough to be saved, and that would be horrible, because it wouldn’t be proper repentance for his sins. So MC’s like “here have $100 million and now you don’t have to die!” and Max is like “frist of all how DARE yo u” and MC’s like “OK phew just making sure”

So MC hands him the poison and goes “hey I’ll do it too!” and Max is like “but you love people and people love you!” (umm, don’t you have an adorable sister??) “in YOUR case it’d be a crime! No doing that, but I’ll give Valentine your regards. Toodles!” And he just… drinks it. And starts to fade out. Now obviously at this point it’s not real poison, haha. It’s definitely a drug though, because he can’t move or speak and is feeling all wonky. But then VALENTINE WALKS IN!!! Oh my god, she wasn’t dead???? This whole time??? I had NO IDEA!!!

Now I was a bit worried at this point that he’d just… never believe he didn’t die. Like that this was heaven and no one could prove it wasn’t, haha. But that didn’t quite end up happening. So anyway they’re together now, and that’s MC’s atonement. And now MC goes “GIVE ME YOUR GRATITUDE. I NEED IT TO LIIIIIIIVE. POUR YOUR THANKS INTO MY EAR IT IS MY NOURISHMENT.” And Val totally does. But also she calls Haydee her sister, and MC’s like “oh good you love her that’s great because she’s yours now. I’m setting her free and making her a princess again.”

And Haydee’s like “Yeah that’s fine, whatever you say. No I mean that literally. I will do WHATEVER YOU SAY ALWAYS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. IF YOU YOU WANT TO [dramatic swoon motion, I assume] CAST ME OFF, I WILL GO! AND DIE! BECAUSE YOU SAY SO!”

And MC’s like “wait wait wait wait wait are you saying you like… like me or something?”

And Haydee’s like “I’ve literally been telling you that the entire book. I love you like an immediate family member! Where ‘immediate family member’ is a set containing ‘husband’!”

And MC’s like “Oh I guess I can be happy then. Like I said in that one chapter that made Eddis so mad. FYI she’s still not cool with this at all, but it’s whatever.” (What a weird thing for Dumas to write in, amirite?)

So they go off to have their happily ever after or whatever and then Max wakes up and is like “wtf I’m not dead! That traitor!” and picks up a knife to finish the job and Valentine goes “I mean or maybe not do that?” And Max is like whaaaaat? Except also he just accepts it instantly. So they go off into the sunset.

They get a note from MC who, it turns out, just… left. Without saying anything. Off to go marry Haydee, one assumes. And speaking of what he left… his houses and stuff to Morrelentine, for starters. Which should be interesting. They’re actually going back to Paris? The city in which she’s supposed to be buried right now? That won’t be a scandal or anything, haha. But whatever, I guess there’s plenty of scandals in Paris. People will get over it eventually. Maybe. Anyway we did need to get Max back to Julie and Emmanuel. That’ll be a nice little family for Valentine, who’s never known love like they have just all the time.

Also Noirtier’s totally waiting for them in Foghorn Leghorn, where he wants to bless the marriage and presumably live with them forever. MC suggests that Val give her whole fortune to charity and also drops in “oh hey literally everyone else in your family is either dead or lost their damn mind, fyi.” But anyway she won’t really need the fortune now they’ve got Monte Cristo bux--because he’s leaving them the grotto treasure.

So MC suddenly feels humility and remorse and realizes he’s not God, only God is God and he’s just some guy. And why did he let Max suffer so much when Valentine was liTERALLY ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME OMG? Because happy and sad only exist in their contrast to each other, and he needed to be vairy vairy sad before he could properly be vairy vairy happy. You have to die to appreciate life. And apparently all human wisdom is summed up in two words: Wait and hope.

That seemed it should be the last line of the book, but it keeps going with their reactions. Except spoiler, it totally IS the last line of the book when Valentine repeats it. After the two of them wonder if ever see their father/sister again.

WAIT AND HOPE. Audible hopes you have enjoyed this program!

AND SO IT ENDS. (Also that Audible message sounded SO FAST after how slow our narrator talks--I really don’t think this book would be 53 hours read by anyone else, haha. But he did a great job though! Especially at 45% increased speed)

I still can’t believe it’s over! I’m already like halfway through my next audiobook, haha, because it’s actually a reasonably-lengthed book.

EDDISFARGO HOPES YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS PROGRAM.

#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo #count of monte cristo #spoilers #IT ENDED OMG #Thanks so much for following along through all of this #it's been a really really good time #off to check out some memes!

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asgardianthot · 4 years

Text

A funeral chuckle (Sambucky AU) – Part 2

one / two / three

Summary: After the loss of a family member, Sam returns to his hometown, where an old crush awaits.

A/N: this is so much dialogue wtf somebody revoke my writer card

Words: 4276

Warnings: grief, angst, closeted gay characters

As soon as the waiter deposited their orders and walked away, Sam took a sip from his large mug. He first tasted the hot chocolate and looked at James, who monitored his every move, like he awaited for confirmation. Then, he took a big sip, nodded in approval and wiped his lip while Bucky smiled, pleased with himself. A big ‘told you so’ could be read across the latter’s features.

“You were right.” Sam nodded while pacing the mug down, “This was a good idea. Just what I needed.”

Bucky reached for the muffin Sam had ordered for himself and took a piece. It certainly was noticed by Wilson, who spent the following minute or so analyzing this man’s actions and gestures. He was comfortable enough to pick from Sam’s order without even asking –he was blunt in a way that seemed like he wasn’t thinking about what he was doing– and still, he shifted in his seat because of how anxious silence made him. Almost like he believed to be causing the silence by doing something wrong.

“Can I try to guess?” the brunette eventually set the tone for the topic of conversation.

He had just saved Sam from a potential nervous collapse at his father’s wake, after all. That, plus the fact that the last time they’d seen each other they were romantic teenagers sharing escapade kisses, did not leave room for a light nor casual chat about the weather.

“Guess what?” Sam raised his eyebrows as he approached the mug to his lips.

“Was it a weird relationship?” he broke the ice abruptly, “With your dad. Is that why you’re being weird about it?”

“Is it so obvious?” Sam smirked at the ‘weird’ part; he took a large bite of his muffin before sliding the plate closer to Bucky, so that he could have a piece, “It’s complicated, yeah. Wish I could just cry and say he had a great life, like my mom does…”

“But?”

Sam sighed, “But I never opened up to him. Not the way I should have.” He glanced stared down at his beverage and shook his head, “It just feels… I don’t know.”

Seeing how Sam’s face shut down of all light, as well as his body shrugged at the end of his almost sentence, Barnes decided to help him out.

“Does it feel like you weren’t ready to say goodbye?” he awaited until Sam nodded before continuing, “What do you wish you’d told him?”

Wilson inhaled a deep, loud breath and allowed a defeated smile to rearrange his expression.

“That’s rough.” He practically chuckled, “Well, I should have come out to him. I kept that from him all his life as a father. How- how selfish is that?”

Sour sadness filled Bucky’s gut, but he understood the man sitting in front of him, more than he could ever know. James’ father died before Bucky even knew what sexual orientation was. He had to come out to his mother all on his own, hoping she, the woman who constantly reminded him he was everything she had, wouldn’t drift apart. So, he reached for Sam’s hand and placed his on top, supportively.

“It’s not.” He said softly, but not condescendingly, “It ain’t easy. I think you… let him love you. That’s gotta be enough, right?”

Letting the comforting words sink in, Wilson gifted Bucky a small, yet warm smile.

“When did you become the expert in grieving?” he mocked.

Bucky laughed and retracted his hand from Sam’s, which left the latter a tingling sensation of withdrawal. He took a sip from the chocolate before replying.

“I’ve been to more funerals that I can count.” He explained with partial amusement, “Sometimes I think I’m bad luck or something, you know? People around me just… die.”

Sam frowned at the sound of such theory. Both of them engaged in a deep stare off in expectance of the other to comment on it, until Sam broke character and burst out laughing, which resulted in Bucky chuckling as well. When the laughing ceased, and the interaction drowned for a bit, Bucky returned to a former topic.

“You know, if you ever want- or feel like you have to…” he shrugged at his own words with uncertainty, “I came out… here. Last year, and they weren’t too bad about it. I mean, I was the town’s gossip, obviously, but I think they were excited to have an openly gay man among them.”

The image coerced a big laugh into Sam’s lips. They really are too suburban.

"That's great.” Sam replied genuinely, “But I don't think I'm gonna stay here. I can't stand the church people, especially after that shit show.

Bucky understood the discomfort. People who grew up and raised children in the same old bubble and only ever had a life in their small town could come across as tedious. Clichés, even. But the brunette had gotten used to them over the past year. He saw them more as a quaint image than a dreadful stereotype. Unfortunately, that was nowhere near the impression Samuel had gotten at church that day, and he made sure to express that.

"So many people cannot share the same grief, it's impossible.” He shook his head, reflecting on the masses of hypocritically religious women weeping over their favorite minister, “Funerals make no sense."

Bucky raised his eyebrows and nodded in agreement, and still, he found something nice to say.

"Yeah, but, you know? I don't mind them. There's something... nice about them."

"Which part? The death of a loved one?" Wilson joked as he played with some crumbs that had fallen on the table.

The dark humor really got to Bucky, so he was unable to conceal a chuckle. He shook his head and held the mug tighter before engaging in a rambling speech about his picturesque view of funerals.

"I don't know, I was way too young when my dad died. I didn't really... understand anything that was going on, so I never thought of grief as such a dark thing, you know?” he tilted his head to the side, thinking hard on his thesis, “You just get dressed and meet a bunch of people and you're all super quiet."

Samuel felt like he wasn’t sharing the same point of view, but he got that part. It was actually just a formal gathering that everyone simply grew used to. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

"Yeah, it's a borderline funny picture."

Bucky nodded again, smiling.

"And you're right, nobody griefs the same way. But that's even more interesting. You got people feeling horrible pain, some folk are pretty empty inside, some are there to play-pretend, you know, faking it makes them feel important. And still, in the end, no matter how much your senior class tries to turn this into a shit-show, it’s pretty intense. In a very… unique way.”

Although Barnes was waiting for Sam to make fun of his words, but when he looked into his eyes he found the man to be very attentive. There was no mocking grin, no hint of disapproval, but an utter wish to comprehend.

“How?” he asked, eager to continue listening to a man that sounded, at the moment, more fascinating than he remembered.

Taken off guard, Bucky cleared his throat and sat straighter, then glanced at Sam a little embarrassed.

"Well, it's still a place of really intense feelings.” He explained while losing the awkwardness, “And I don't just mean the sadness, or the anger... I don’t know. Ever heard a funeral chuckle?"

That time, Sam had to frown, "A what?"

“You know! When… someone's hurting so bad that they're kinda surrounded by this dark cloud. They're crying, you can tell they have the heaviest heart in the entire service, and all of a sudden they burst out laughing."

Sam’s interest in whatever went down in Bucky’s mind was becoming bigger by the second, "Why do they?" he questioned truthfully.

"Doesn't matter.” Barnes brushed it off with a glint of joy in his eyes, fueled by the memories of the many times he had seen one of those, “Someone says something funny. Or, the priest starts singing.” He laughed out loud at the thought he himself had conveyed, “And it's just the most amazing laugh, it's such an intense feeling."

Wilson was captivated. Bucky had such a peculiar way of seeing the world. Of experiencing it. For a man who worked with grieving veterans, Sam had never heard such a beautiful way of describing funerals. Neither had he heard of a man who collected the so-called ‘funeral chuckles’. That was captivating by itself.

"Sounds lovely." Sam brought himself to reply after a moment of silent appreciation, only because the quiet seemed to make Bucky nervous.

"It is.” Bucky suddenly looked at Sam rather mischievously, “I, uh… I was hoping it would be yours in this one."

The sentence brought a warm blush to Sam’s face. Bucky had a way of making him feel like he was in on a secret, like they had a natural complicity, or some underground operation. Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense: they did have a complicity born out of secrecy. They used to run away at night to kiss inside of closets –the irony being painfully obvious there, and somehow none of them ever made a joke about it–, they used to leave notes on each other’s backpacks and pray that the appellee would find it, only for it to read ‘meet me at the parking lot, 10pm’. So, after all, yes, the pair were the only ones to know a very private secret. It was only natural to act like it.

Snapping back into the conversation, Sam lamented not being able to cry at his father’s funeral, and therefore, not being able to provide a tearful chuckle for Bucky’s collection. That ship had sailed the second they walked away from the local church.

"I'll settle for some funeral coco." Sam raised his mug with pride.

Bucky reciprocated with joy and satisfaction for having helped Sam when he needed to get away. They spent a long time sitting there with empty mugs, battling over the last crumbs of blueberry muffin, and catching up. Bucky told Sam about the many, many jobs he’d had in the past, and how he had come back home after quitting his last gig on moral basis. Sam opened up about his tours in Afghanistan and his work as a vet counselor. Eventually, the sun shone less bright outside, and the ticking clock inside Sam’s gut told him they should go find his mom.

Back at the Wilson’s house, a small group of people had continued followed to continue their grievance. It momentarily made Sam want to leap off the second-story window, but he managed to conceal his annoyance. Basically because his mom didn’t seem to mind; some of them were close friends and others church friends, and Darlene didn’t look for a second like she wanted some peace in her home. On the contrary, she began serving beverages to the guests, immediately.

Steve and his mother Sarah were there as well, the latter chatting with some neighbors while Steve stood by the staircase and made himself look rather secretive with Bucky. Both men could tell that Sam was overwhelmed. He had been, back at the church, and he definitely was now.

“Maybe we should leave.” Steve pondered.

“I don’t know.” Bucky replied with a sigh, then leaned against the staircase wall, “None of these people are gonna leave. He kinda needs us here.”

Steve examined his friend’s face for a good amount of seconds. He narrowed his eyes, and that’s when Bucky noticed the excess of contemplation.

“What?”

“Where’d you go during the service?” the blonde asked without ado.

Bucky knew this was the beginning of an interrogation, and he knew what his friend’s suspicions were.

“Took Wilson away from there, why?”

“Where?”

“Just a coffee place. Why?”

Steve’s lips curled up in an almost unnoticeable smirk, yet it didn’t go unnoticed by Barnes.

“What’s your deal?” the latter began growing hyper-defensive on his behalf.

“Can you get the nice dishes, Sammy?” Darlene asked his son as she opened up cabinets on her tidy kitchen, rummaging for supplies.

Samuel merely stood there, trying not to let out everything he opined in a rude way. However, it did make him upset that his mother was working when she should have been resting. She was the widow, she shouldn’t have to do anything at all. He, himself would have done the work for her, but the point wasn’t about who prepared food and drinks, instead it had to do with the fact Darlene wanted to do it. She allowed those people in her house. A simple ‘I’m tired’ would have been enough to get rid of them by her doorstep.

“Why don’t we just send them all home?” Sam offered.

“They’re here to accompany us in a time of grief. The least we can do is serve them.” The woman explained, still focusing on the cabinets, “Especially since you left your father’s service.”

There it was. He knew she wouldn’t let it go just like that. In fact, Sam was waiting for her to bring it up.

“Okay, so you’re mad at me.” He took a deep breath, then crossed his arms over his chest, “Just tell me.”

“I’m not mad. I need you to get the nice dishes.”

He rolled his eyes, but didn’t give up on her maybe changing her mind.

“Mama, let’s just go to bed.”

Unfortunately, this time, he didn’t even get a response. Darlene opened the fridge and took out some vegetables, which she seemed more than happy to wash and cut. Meanwhile, Sam got the dishes she asked for and returned with them, peacefully. The widow already had a pile of chopped carrots when her son placed the items on the table. Therefore, understanding that she, just as Sam had experienced that morning, needed to keep herself busy, Samuel dropped the subject of work or not work. Instead, he went back to the church incident.

“I’m sorry I bailed at church.” He said with honesty, then sighed before launching his explanation, for he knew his mama wouldn’t enjoy it.,“But I came here for a funeral, not a circus.”

As expected, the woman turned around dramatically and raised her voice, “Nobody dragged you down here, Samuel. If you didn’t want to mourn your father, you shouldn’t have come at all. But you’re in my house, and we will honor Paul here. Is that clear?”

Sam kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to mourn his father. He didn’t want to come to that god-awful town and he definitely didn’t want to spend time with the grieving circus. But he had done it for her, because he wouldn’t ever leave his mother alone when she needed him. Regrettably, she needed a version of her Sammy that he couldn’t offer at the moment.

“The door’s right there if you’re planning on being disrespectful.” She insisted after a long moment of tense silence.

And so, Sam went for the door. As he headed out, he almost bumped into Bucky.

“Back off, Rogers, will ya?” he had brushed his friend’s allegations and walked away.

Sam was faster, though, and Barnes had to stop in his tracks and watch him walk away. He shot a confused glance in Steve’s directions, who raised his eyebrows with just as much uncertainty. Since none of them was moving to do anything, Bucky decided to follow after Sam. He found the man sitting on the grass, outside.

“Everything okay?” Bucky asked as he approached him slowly.

Sam looked down at his expanded legs and replied, “Absolutely not.” He chuckled, sarcastically, “But thanks for asking.”

“You want me to leave you alone?”

“No, please.” Sam almost begged, and so, Bucky sat down right next to him, “I think you’re the only one here who actually gets me.”

Bucky snorted in a failed attempt to conceal laughter, which caused Sam to face him with a big, questioning frown.

“I’ve always got you, Sam.” Barnes explained with an amused smile, “I’m just trying to make myself useful. You look like you could use a friend.”

No matter how badly Wilson wanted to go over the topic of Bucky getting him, he felt himself needing another answer more urgently.

“Is that what you are?”

Bucky’s head lulled to the side while he thought it through, “Well, it’s shorter than ‘childhood crush turned secret kissing buddy turned stranger’.”

Sam burst out laughing, feeling himself, once again, easy and relaxed around Barnes. He tried to remember if that was the case when they were teenagers, and ended up concluding that it was probably the opposite.

“Why did we ever stop talking?” Sam sent the question out into the night sky.

“I think it was easier.” Barnes replied truthfully, “We were pretty confused, back then. And you moved away pretty quickly, so…”

As the sentence trailed off, Sam found himself looking at Bucky longer than he had intended to. It didn’t take another minute of comfortable silence for him to reach for Bucky’s cheek. Once he was cupping the man’s face, he leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips. The familiar knot in his stomach was present, like they were confused kids again, only this time, they were much more confident of themselves and of the other’s attraction. He felt that pull, that invisible energy that Bucky radiated and made Sam drawn to him.

He felt the butterflies again.

As soon as they broke apart, though, Bucky narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“You know, in the movies…” Barnes began, causing Sam to roll his eyes, “…when the character’s going through something… emotionally, so they’re like-“

“Like they need to feel something so they kiss whoever out of impulse?” Sam finished the sentence for him, raising an eyebrow with disbelief; when Bucky shrugged, Sam lowered his head in order to come across more serious regarding his intent, “Not what’s happening.”

“You sure?”

A dumb grin took over Sam’s features.

“You’re not a distraction. You’re actually the only person keeping me sane right now. And I just remembered… we used to do that before. Just be there for each other.”

They never said anything like it explicitly, and both of them always pretended they were just messing around, but more than once had they found each other sharing advice, or support, or the occasional bro hug. The second the memory hit Bucky’s brain, he held Sam’s cheekbones and launched himself for a kiss. This one was deeper, more decided, and definitely more longing.

Barnes broke apart to catch his breath and pressed his forehead against Sam’s, "God, I liked you so much when we were kids, you have no idea." He laughed.

"I think I did.” Sam said suddenly, earning a deep stare from the man who’d kissed him, “Cause I was mad about you. You were the most interesting person I'd ever met, and all these years later, you still are.” He reached for Bucky’s chin and grabbed it gently, “Buck, you're... amazing, you have such a huge heart. I hope you know that."

Bucky’s smile was smaller now. It was less honest, because he wanted to believe Sam. It was appreciative, but not necessarily in agreement. However, hearing Sam say it was definitely more convincing than anything else. If Sam Wilson believed in Bucky’s heart like that, then perhaps he was good. He gave Wilson a kind kiss that was charged with gratitude.

"Hot coco?" He offered.

After sharing one –smuggled– cup of hot coco outside, talking for hours, sharing the occasional kiss and eventually, holding hands under the night sky, the guests began abandoning the Wilson residence. And so, their wired instinct of inducing distance between them in front of other people kicked in. eventually, they walked back inside to an empty house.

Darlene was in the kitchen, doing dishes and putting things back in their place with Steve and his mom, a scene which Sam and Bucky joined. As a matter of fact, Bucky made himself extra useful that night, helping Darlene with absolutely everything before she even asked. It made Sam’s stomach churn in a good way to think that he was probably behaving like that to win over his mom.

“Can I come in?” Sam heard the feminine voice accompanied by a knock on his door.

He looked up to find his mother leaning over the doorframe, and he nodded. He sat on his childhood bed, waiting for a lecture but instead was met by Darlene taking a seat right next to him. She wanted to make peace. So, he placed his hand on top of hers, which earned him a kind smile.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna mourn, baby.” She said.

It suddenly sounded like she had talked to Bucky or something. Perhaps she had.

Instead of going on that topic, he took a big breath and decided that he had spent enough time keeping the main information from her. It was not only necessary to understand Sam’s feelings regarding Paul’s death, but also because if not now, he would never gather the courage to do so. It felt like he had nothing to lose now.

"Mama, there's a reason why you've never met any of my girlfriends." He began.

Darlene tilted her head and smiled, "Because there haven't been any."

"And there's a reason for that as well."

"Darling, I know."

Sam’s eyes shot wide open.

"You do?"

"Oh, Sammy, I've always known.” She said almost amused as she held her son’s hand tightly, “I didn't ask because I didn't want to push you. You've always been secretive."

Processing the harsh information, Samuel nodded to himself.

"I never wanted to. I just... I was never able to be honest, because I felt like I could never tell dad. So I kind of... hid."

A contemplative and partially sad grin took Darlene’s big motherly smile’s place. She tapped Sam’s hand with her palm.

"I don't know if your father even thought about it.” She admitted, “But, you have to know that he never would have judged you. He loved you, Sammy."

Sam wanted to believe that. He wanted to imagine a world where he had been open with his dad, and was met with acceptance and support. He wanted to believe his dad wouldn’t even have treated him differently. Unfortunately, the chance was long lost.

"I guess we'll never know.” He mumbled.

The widow received that as her cue to give him some space, so she stood up and dropped a kiss onto Sam’s forehead before walking away. Still, right before crossing the doorframe, she turned around.

"You know who I really like?” She changed her attitude suddenly, to a much more joyful one, “That Barnes boy."

Sam had to laugh, because it sounded like she was referring to the neighbor’s kid. Who, in retrospective, he technically was, but she said it like they were teenage boys and she was setting him up. If she knew, she could have been in on the joke and they could have laughed together. But Sam thought it’d be better to break it all down one step at a time.

“Don’t." He warned her, still mocking.

"Okay.” She raised her hands in her defense, “Good night."

With his light now turned off, Sam rolled around in his bed for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn’t sleep, no matter how tired he was. Too much had happened in the past few hours. Hell, it had been one of the most intense days of the decade. Flying to his hometown, his father’s funeral, reuniting with Barnes, kissing Barnes…

What exactly was it that happened with Barnes? What it meant for them conjointly, or what it meant for Sam’s future, were too unclear and uncertain. He would have to go back to DC eventually. Which reminded Sam that his mother would now visit him by herself. She was by herself. Perhaps he could do the effort and come and visit her.

But that meant meeting with Barnes every time he came back, and so his brain returned to the same point. What could they become? Not the only two gay men in town, that was for sure. He couldn’t live with that label. And he definitely couldn’t live under his father’s shadow with that label… or at all. He couldn’t live without his father.

The mess of complex thoughts clouded not only Sam’s ability to fall asleep, but his judgement as well. When he checked the clock, it was 3am already. It was 3am in that god-awful town, and he didn’t want to spend another minute there. So he turned on the light on his nightstand and turned on his laptop, typed in a few airlines sites and bought a ticket for the first plane he could hop on.

Bucky woke up late, by the sound of Wanda dropping a few pans in the kitchen, as usual. The flashes of the day before came plummeting, and he felt fuzzy by just thinking of Sam’s kiss. So he grabbed his phone and decided to text him, ask him to meet or just talk.

Yet, Sam had been faster. He’d sent a text at six in the morning.

I’m sorry for leaving without notice. My plane leaves in 5 so I can’t really turn back now.

Thank you for everything. I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Steve about us? Again, sorry.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #fatws #tfatws #tftws #sam x bucky #sam wilson/bucky barnes #sambucky au #marvel fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier #sambucky fanfiction

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dragonshoard · 5 years

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@markala5

(Because the thread was getting too long i made a new one // I’m sorry for any typos ;( I’m super tired lol)

I agree with the fact that she is super stubborn. She’s set on not only creating an alternative for the extermination Hell goes through each year but also proving herself to her father and the people of Hell in general. It would definitely be something inherent to angel!Charlie because she aches for people to care about her and people to care about.

She’s definitely developed her own sense of self after all these years, but the problem is that it’s based off of validity from people around her which IS NOT HEALTHYYY. It’s actually really sad. She’ll be her perky self and be immediately shut down by the people around her. She may be willing to brawl, but she’s just as likely to shut down.

Long post is long so I’m putting it under read more

On the thing about apathy. I find it an interesting concept with this world. There is a certain level of Apathy to Hell but its the type where everything is super active and violent, just everyone is super blase about it. There’s the half of hell actively always looking for a fight/power and the other half that just sort of... exists in misery.

As an angel who not only needs people around them but also NEEDS a purpose, it’s an extremely toxic environment. With the system you’re describing... just ow. I can only imagine how many times Charlie has nearly faded and just what needed to be done to get her back.

Like, Vaggie is a recent development (not even 10 years) and there hasn’t been anyone else around Charlie that would function as a support other than her parents, possibly.

(I’m still shocked that Vaggie only died in 2014. She’s super young but comes off as acting like one of the oldest - I genuinely thought she had been childhood friends with Charlie lol)

I’d imagine that instead of fading away, it would be more like she falls into a coma (I need Disney references, she’s literally a Disney princess). And I’d like to think that its more like a self generative state because, again, been established that you can’t exactly die naturally in Hell (or Heaven, presumably). Longest she’s slept would probably me... probably a year? It’s been established that Lilith and Charlie have a close relationship, so I’m thinking that most of the time it’s Lilith bringing her back after the fact and supporting her. There was one time where her father showed he cared enough (the time she slept for a year - he was even nice enough to preen her feathers) but he went back to being mostly apathetic after that (jealousy is no good :/).

Because even people with the strongest sense of self and will power will crash in that environment. Lilith would definitely be her number one supporter until Vaggie (and especially how now Lilith is very busy in canon time), but it wouldn’t be enough (especially when flocks typically have around 10-15 people).

She’d fight for as long as she could. Towards the end of the “cycle” (about to go to sleep) it would be the hardest for her not to sing and her passive song would be the strongest and most violent/desperate (enough that even her Dad can vaguely hear it and typically starts preparing her room). At this point it would be the hardest to keep her angelic features in so she starts isolating herself, speeding up the process. Her song would come out stuttery (imagine the first song in the pilot - constantly singing that one but in between sobs) and she’d try to stay awake but would fall asleep each time.

And when she wakes up her song would be bright, loud and optimistic, determined to break the circle (it never works).

Alastor would have no clue that this happens so the first time she goes through it after meeting him, he is beyond curious. He knows little about angel biology, only bits and pieces he’s picked up over the years. He spends the two weeks she spends sleeping taking care of her and feeling out her (for once) peaceful song.

(I do the same. Making myself sad should be a professional job lol)

Charlie displays steel and passion on her shoulders just as clearly as her insecurities. Alastor was drawn to her from first song, tbh. There was something about it that he found fascinating and when he actually met her she was far more interesting. To be frank though, I’d imagine that initially she reminds him of the type of people he would hunt when he was alive. Meeting her, it would kind of reinforce that because he doesn’t really see her thinking for herself. The more he would get to know her, the more he’d see that she is truly someone born of Hell and the more interesting she becomes to him. She’ll say some things that are so blatantly inhuman that it’ll just make him double take.

She would be an itinerary of knowledge for horrible things (like how to kill, how to torture people, etc) but she doesn’t use or like any of it. It’s just a result of living with her family and in Hell as a general concept. I’m kind of imagining a young Charlie being forced to sit through executions and torture sessions either performed or ordered by her father (maybe even forced to do it herself).

....ok i went on a tangent whoops.

And YES SHE ASSOCIATES HELL AS HERS ALL HERS. This is canon. Actual canon. She doesn’t care about silly turf wars, doesn’t care about who is on whose side. They’re all hers. I remember reading in the wiki that she takes the approach of treating rehabilitating sinners like children. I think this would come in here.

It would kill her to lose so many souls so constantly but, holy hell, she’s also getting just as many people daily so she’s constantly hearing new songs join the already mixed and jumbled song. It would be really distracting and sometimes interferes with her higher process thinking.

But you gotta admit the angel part of her would be super confused at all the killing because, technically, it’s her own kind that’s killing off her people. One half of her would be screaming “WHY WHY WHY DO THIS KIN WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME” while the other half is screaming for blood and respite.

And yeah, being unable to do anything about it and no matter how much her Mom tries to calm her down and how thick the walls of her bunker are, it doesn’t stop her from hearing the screaming and sheer devastation. Coming out after the fact is draining and she spends at least a day or so crying and singing her heart out (her voice practically broken at this point from her own screaming). Her skin would be especially ill-fit but there’s no part of her angel half willing enough to show itself. It’s akin to feeling like you’re swimming in a sweater that’s three sizes too big.

....she is totally a lion. She has the mane for it despite identifying as female xD

Tbh honest, when I first thought of angels in this universe and what not, I likened them to being a species in which you’re one or you’re not. So a hybridization like Charlie is not only rare, but unstable. Her demon and angel halves fight for dominance and, eventually, one half will win and there’s no going back from there. Omg CHARLIE BEING THE FIRST SURVIVING CHILD IS SO SAD. NOOOOO ;((((((

Charlie goes underground during the extermination for a good reason lol. As she gets older, her instincts would severely change. The older she gets (and the more powerful), the more prone she is to fighting back. By the time canon comes around, she has to be chained during the extermination and Lucifer or Lilith have to be there to make sure she doesn’t break out of the chains.

Charlie is aware of this and so she would be terrified af when her friends suggested they get together during the extermination for support. By this point, Charlie is starting to feel more stable and feels that she might actually be able to control herself better with her flock surrounding her.

Alastor probably wouldn’t know about it until he shows up out of nowhere and sees them barricading the hotel and is like wtf are you all doing. He side eyes the chains that Charlie sneaks past her flock. He immediately decides that it would be a splendid and fun idea to join them. Vaggie tries to deny him, but Charlie is quick to agree, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn’t have to be chained.

She sticks close to him when the clock hits midnight and the angels descend. The chains were a precautionary measure and in between Alastor and her flock, she thought that she wouldn’t have needed them but she was WRONG.

Somehow, Charlie manages to hold herself back until an angel shows up at her door. A part of her is whimpering cousin-friend-family-brother-sister while another part of her knew what exactly this meant.and was screaming in the only way she knew how to tell the angel to GO AWAY.

But yeah, they don’t and they get messed up and Charlie ends up revealing her eldritch form to her friends (other than Alastor who has already seen her in this form by this point). Alastor would definitely draw her into a duet to bring her back to herself.

During this Alastor would be so excited to see his angel kill an actual angel. Sadly (to him) they end up getting away. The feathers clenched in her hands were trophies of another kind. He wanted to pin and frame the wing in one of her clawed hands.

But it’s still kind of a horrible moment too because the extermination is still happening and Charlie can still hear and feel her people dying. She’d be crying to tell him to make it stop and all he could really do is sing quietly to her, emphasizing his own song to try and mute some of the carnage.

But if there’s anything Alastor can do, it’s talk and talk about everything but nothing.

FUTURE LA MUERTE/XIBALBA AND ADAMS COUPLE VIBES AHHHHH. I support this so much. I see them in the future as a fairly antagonistic and competitive couple I don’t know why (so kind of like La Muerte and Xibabla xD). They love each other more than anything but, at the same time, they can only handle each other in contained doses. There would of course be the honeymoon period, but eventually when they settle, their personalities and morals combat each other quite a bit. Both of them are unyielding in their beliefs and unwillingness to change so it would cause some clashing.

Can’t live with em, can’t live without em’.

They would be that couple that’s always singing and dancing though, from tango to intense and dramatic songs to slow ballroom. It would annoy everyone around them and Charlie would feel some embarrassment at first but, in the end, absolutely love it.

Lol this was all very very great :DDDDD I feel you. I feel like I’ve written a fic but its great xD

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #charlastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbinh #origin #markala5 #long post #angel!Charlie

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username-echo-is-taken · 5 years

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Roadtrip~CNCO Headcanon

OMG GUYS THERES 300 OF YOU FOLLOWING ME LIKE WTF IM SHOOK!!!! In celebration of that I decided to finally finish a request I received MONTHSSS ago! But I hope you guys enjoy! I LOVE YOU ALL 🥰❤️

Requested: “headcanon about the guys going on a long drive with them being the driver” by @cedanana 3 MONTHS AGO ASLKGSHFL I’M SOOOO SORRY!!! I started working on this forever ago and welp here we are now, and it’s not even good 🙃and it’s not even what you really asked for sorry bby 😔

Warnings: horrible writing skills LMAO

Author’s Note: this is wayyyyy too long to post as one so I’m posting one half today and the other half tomorrow when I finish it! So sorry for the inconvenience!

Zabdiel: Sightseeing as much of Puerto Rico!-several hours and stops

It’s your first time visiting Puerto Rico and Zabdi is sooo excited for his amor to explore his island with him

Neither of you slept much because y’all stayed up late going over your route plan for the 10th time

He wakes up earlier than you to make breakfast

Brings it to you in bed like the gentleman he is...but you’re two bites in when he starts rushing you out of pure excitement lol

You ask him to pick out your outfit bc 1.) he knows the weather and activities so he can dress you appropriately and 2.) you want him to enjoy EVERY little thing about your trip...he thinks this trip is about you but to you it’s all about him, seeing him so happy and excited makes your heart melt UWU BITCH 😭

Your first stop is to get snacks obvio

He takes you to all the cool spots close to his house to get them out of the way *insert small photo shoot*

The next destination is about an hour away so cue the carpool karaoke!!

Of course he’s singing like an angel on Earth and well let’s just say you were not that impressive YIKES

You got videos of both but only the ones of him are posted so you can keep some of your dignity lol

Zabdi being Zabdi, he randomly pulls over to the side of the road, jumps out of the car, picks a pretty flower, and gives it to you, “una belleza pa’ mi bellisima novia”

YOU LOVE THIS MAN™️

Little do you know that he has been taking secret pictures and videos of you to add to the album on his phone so whenever he has to go away on tour he can always have a piece of his amor

By the end of the trip you are completely IN LOVE with the island, appreciating all of its beauty with the love of your life

When you get back, after you’ve had a shower and are in bed you get a notification that Zabdiel De Jesus has uploaded a picture….you look over at him and he has a tiny smirk on his face and he lets out a giggle bc he uploaded the LEAST flattering picture of you from when you caught him taking a picture so you made an ugly face at him

Butttt don’t worry he also posted nice ones bc he’s nice like that

Joel: Disneyland!-Hesperia to Disneyland-under 2 hours depending on traffic

It’s Christmas time and it’s your first year spending it with Joel and his family (ok but who wouldn’t want to spend it with them?! It looks so fun!)

They all find out you’ve never been to Disney and it’s like a bullet to the chest to them LMAO

Soooo Joey has taken it upon himself to take your Disney virginity lol

He likes to be very organized so of course he made a list of which rides y’all are gonna go on and in what order

He makes sure you’re all asleep at a good time bc he knows how you get if you don’t get enough sleep lol

You two wake up a little earlier to help his mom make sandwiches and snacks for the journey

Since there are so many of y’all going you have to take two cars, his mom driving one and him driving the other

He asks everyone for songs to add to the playlist he created and y’all jam tf out

The music is so loud his mom has his little brother call you and tell y’all to TURN THAT SHIT DOWN cause they can hear it from their car OOPS

When you make it there, barely alive bc Joelito decided to get distracted by some freakin birds...yea...birds... you’re a little worried if his plan will work because it’s PACKED, I mean c’mon what did he expect around Christmas

He knows it too and he has a sad little pout on his cute face making you sad too because who wants to see this baby sad???

He just wants this to be the best first experience

What he doesn’t realize is that you could literally just sit in silence with him and you would be over the moon

You spend the day, holding hands, walking around, riding the rides, just having an amazing time

You’re having sooo much fun you don’t even think about getting some pictures together but don’t worry his brothers and cousins have it handled lmao

Your favorite is a video of you and Joel dancing when he twirls you around and pulls you back into his chest for a hug, and you definitely feel like a princess

During the drive back home, everyone in the back seats are asleep and you whisper to Joel how much fun you had and how much you love and appreciate him for everything

Homeboy wants to cry deadass lol

He holds your hand while he drives and every so often he brings it up to his mouth so he can give it a kiss

When you get home he makes you a hot chocolate and you stay up for a while just talking and enjoying each other’s company before snuggling up to go to sleep

Richard: Universal Resort!-Miami to Orlando-3 ½ hours

This papi wants to take his 2 girls out for a fun weekend, and where can you have fun all day without getting tired..? UNIVERSAL!! (not that I would actually know bc i’ve never actually been LMAO)

The 3 of you are beyond excited, although you might be a bit more excited than Aaliyah, but shhh no one has to know

The night before, you sit in Aaliyah’s room, asking her about certain outfits before putting them in her little ‘going-away-bag’, before tucking her into bed, not noticing that Richard has been watching with a smile on his face, until you hear him walking towards his baby girl to kiss her goodnight OOF

Soft Papi Richard makes you swoon™️

You guys then move to your room to pack your stuff

We all know he would take longer to pack his stuff because “this shirt matches these pants, but so does this one...i’ll take both...but what shoes tho?”

Since you’ve been so excited you already mentally planned your outfits lol and maybeee,just maybe, you bought 2 new swimsuits that you know he would drool over

You’re already in bed by the time Rich is finally done, you’re halfway asleep when he gets into bed so he just kisses your forehead and plays with your hair

In the morning, you get up a few minutes earlier than planned so you can make a few sandwiches and a few other snacks, but you already know they’re gonna be gone within the first hour so a pitstop for food is a must lol

CNCO is playing the entire ride because Aaliyah wants to hear Papa sing, but who are you kidding, you want to hear your angel sing too

When you finally get to Universal you quickly get to your room and leave just as fast as you got there lol

Y’all spend the entire first day going on rides and just walking around admiring all the beautiful things

You and Richard are both half asleep on the way back to the room, and Aaliyah is asleep in his arms

The next morning (almost lunch because y’all wore yourselves out lmao) you have brunch in bed and watch a movie for a while before getting ready to go to the pool!

Let’s just say that your man’s jaw drops real quick, and he most def can’t keep his hands off of you

You spend a few hours at the pool, enjoying the water and the sun before heading back to the room to take a nap before dinner

Y’all were going to a somewhat fancier restaurant so you spent a bit more time doing your hair and makeup before putting on a beautiful dress

You then get Aaliyah into her dress and you do her hair all cute and shit while Richard is finishing getting ready

After dinner comes desert obviously so back to the park you go to find some ice cream!

You quickly but thoroughly enjoy it before heading back to the room to change into comfy clothes for the drive back home

#cnco #cnco imagines #cnco imagine #zabdiel de jesus #zabdiel de jesus imagine #cnco fanfic #zabdiel de jesus fanfic #joel pimentel #joel pimentel imagine #joel pimentel fanfic #cnco headcanon #richard camacho #richard camacho imagine #richard camacho fanfic

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? I doubt that I’ll fall asleep tonight but if it happens then I want to sleep in

Have you ever been in an ambulance? twice Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? I prefer to buy them myself but I don’t like to travel lol Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? I hate them and they hate me back Do you try to stay busy a lot? define busy Do you lie a lot? nah, I exaggerate tho Do you still act childish most of the time? yup Did you ever enjoy gym class? yep What is your biggest insecurity? look? my skin What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? my cellphone Do people consider you to be a funny person? yeah Do you have any bad habits? sure Do you like children? nooo If not, why is this? many reasons Do you own any gaming systems? I only play PC/ online/android apps How old were your parents when they had you? in their 30s Is there a big age difference between you and the person you date? there's barely any difference Does the future excite you or scare you? scares me Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? yes What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? we’ll see What is your favorite movie from the nineties? hard choice Which decade were you born in? 90s XD Are you good at giving advice to people? I am but they don’t listen Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? wouldn’t say so Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? me, I make myself feel useless because I am useless Do you like texting or calling people more? texting Do you have a lot of friends? I have no friends Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? meh Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? stay in Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I don’t attract them Where is your favorite place to travel? nowhere What is your goal for the next few months? working on my health issues mostly Do you own a lot of shoes? just a few pairs Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? sweatpants Do you think you have a good sense of style? I have my own sense of style but I head I’m good with accessorising Do you enjoy reading often? occassionally only Have you ever had a deadly illness? sigh... Where did you last eat dinner at? finally home

have you ever been invited to a tacky-christmas-sweater party? I like tacky sweaters but I dislike parties what is the biggest turn off to you? penis

when was the last time you had a nightmare? recently where do you see yourself in ten years? dead if you had the chance to re-do the past six months…would you do it? maybe does your family have traditions? some sort of have you ever had a horrible school picture? I’m ugly whose voice will never fail to get on your nerves? hmm... do you sleep on your stomach, side or back? definitely not my back would you ever take up a job in photography? don’t think so

Do you find it hard to believe that a dinosaur was once right where u are? kinda

What is your favourite part of the movie “The Lion King”? Timon and Pumba moments

Do you knock before entering someone’s room? of course

Would you freak out if you saw a spider crawling on you right now? one was crawling on me today twice and I didn’t freak out

Have you ever used a tanning bed? hell no Do you think people will eventually stop believing in God? :o

Have you ever been go-cart racing? I have not

How many jobs have you had in your life? it’s complicated but I’d say zero

Does your shower have a door or curtains? we have bath

Are you good at remembering names? am really bad at it

Have you ever walked the opposite direction on an escalator? noooo

When making pancakes, do you try to make cool shapes/pictures? I don’t cool

Opinions on Channing Tatum? blergh

Do you use your hand when you’re explaining something? it’s possible

Do you still live in your home town? I do indeed

Where do you apply cologne or perfume? -

What about your look makes it your signature ‘you’ look? childish stuff, leggings, funny quotes on T-shirts...

Do you have an innie or outie? innie

Do you type quickly or slowly? very fast

Have you ever been addicted to a game? for a short time period

How long do you spend getting ready every day? minutes

How many cavities do you have? lots

Do you take surveys hoping someone will see your answers or just ‘because’? just because

What diet could you never do? vegan

What kind of toothpaste do you like? none

What would you never do, for all the money in the world? sell my soul

Is the grass greener on the other side? it’s probably fake

who picks the music when you’re riding in the car? driver

do you know anyone who regularly uses a bike for transportation? my uncle

do you consider audio books not really reading? it’s listening

strangest thing you’ve ever put in the trunk of a car? wtf

do you carry matches or a lighter? I own a lighter but I don’t carry either around

do you keep socks with a hole in them if they are your favorites? ^^”

last time you wore clothes that were too small on you. I wear oversized

have you ever had something taken away from you by airport security? luckily not

something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? personal

do you store any non food items in the fridge? cosmetics (my mom does, not me)

have you ever told a friend you thought their parent was hot? not applicable

have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? don’t do that!

plain band aids or fun ones? plain

which pain killer do you use? time

have you ever borrowed underwear from a friend? disgusting, cringe

last pair of shoes you threw out? my red martens?

have you ever thrown anything up to hang on the power/phone lines? I’m not stupid

do you pay attention to people’s posture? rarely

could you happily survive in a world without music? if I was born in it then 100% but if it stopped existing now then I’d be sad, still survive has anyone ever revealed one of your secrets to another person? more than once if you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? this question today...

what do you often assume about other people? that they’re evil, more or less

do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex? middle school? how do you hold/position your pillow while you sleep? dunno how to explain that what kind of environment do you need to be able to sleep? not fresh pajama/sheets, smth under my chest/lungs lately, arm under a small pillow, light until I feel sleepy enough to turn it off, not wanting to eat or pee anymore as it bothers me, preferably no noise and strong smells too, alone, pajama, socks when it’s cold... have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? ewww, feet are gross have you ever farted, but tried to pass it off as someone else? as smth else*

why do you use foul language, if you do? it helps like punching something

is there a type of candy that you do not like? most of candies is there anything about which you are consistently paranoid? sadly rank your life based on percentage spent happy, and percentage spent sad: 99% unhappy?...

Would you rather date someone opposite from you or the same as you? similar

Do you own any band merch? I wish

Do you like Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit? LOTR but not Hobbit

Do you usually regret things you did or things you didn’t do more? things I did

Do you prefer shopping with friends or by yourself? depends

If you had a parrot, what would be the first word you would teach it? hello/hi

What food did you eat the most lately? white bread

What do you want your wedding song to be? our song

True/False : If it’s meant to be, it will be. hopefully true

what’s something you want but will probably never get? health

Do you get embarrassed when your stomach growls in class? that is sooo awkward

Do you think tattoos are hot? I don’t mind some

When did you last play Monopoly? this year?

Do you love food more than you love people? I don’t like food nor ppl

True or False: you this read wrong I read this right, you written it wrong

Do you think underwater pictures look cool? creepy

What is the most ridiculous law you ever heard about? there was this guy who broke some ridiculous laws in England

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koalas-koalas-everywhere · 5 years

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Live blogging the Hobbit pt.7

Flies And Spiders

I’ve been looking forward to this one.

“There were black squirrels in the wood. As Bilbo’s sharp inquisitive eyes got used to seeing things he could catch glimpses of them whisking off the path and scuttling behinf tree-trunks.” I should write a fic about this myself, but I think it would be a funny scene to have Bilbo, with his sharper eyesight, mention the squirrels and the dwarves just. Have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about? What squirrels?? Bilbo: … the squirrels. Dwarves: wut. B:The squirrels that run around every once in a while. And him trying to point them out but being unable to because of their speed and their black colour. Eventually, after they’ve been in the woods a while, becoming irritable and kinda muddled and just really freaked out, Bilbo snaps and out of nowhere throws a rock at one of them, only stunning it, but effectively bringing it down. The dwarves are all like, Bilbo wtf, both because it was very sudden and because they didn’t know he had that good of an aim, but he just goes “you see it? you see it? oh thank heavens I was starting to think I was going crazy and just imagining it.” That’s when they decide to try to shoot them and eat them and when they realise… well, I’ll keep it for that bulletpoint.

“Even the dwarves felt it, who were used to tunneling, and lived at times for long whiles without the light of the sun; but the hobbit, who liked holes to make a house in but not to spend summer days in, felt that he was being slowly suffocated.”

Lmao why does he always get the worst of it? Tolkien, I’ll see you in hell.

“They tried shooting the squirrels, and they wasted many arrows before they managed to bring one down on the path. But when they roasted it, it proved horrible to taste, and they shot no more squirrels.”

Here it is, back to the story, they hunt the squirrels, realise they’re gross, and are like, “Bilbo, you’re the most weirdly skillful yet useless person we’ve ever met.”

‘Dori is the strongest, but Fili is the youngest and still has the best sight.” Fili is the what

“All the time he was wondering whether there were spiders in the tree, and how he was going to get down again (except by falling).”

why not

“They did not care tuppence about the butterflies, and ere only made more angry when he told them of the beautiful breeze, which they were too heavy to climb up and feel.” It is kind of tacky, Bilbo

Double fuck, my bookmark fell off and the spine got cracked. This has literally never happened to me before D:<

In theory, leaving a mark that something’s been used and loved is a concept I like. In practice? This is bothering me.

“That night they ate the last scraps and crumbs of food; and next morning when they woke the first thing they noticed was that they were still gnawingly hungry, and the nest thing was that it was raining and that here and there the drip of it was dropping heavily on the forest floor.” I mean, they’ve eaten the last of the food and they’re still hungry — chances are that even if they’d known they were almost out of the woods, they wouldn’t have made it anyway. (So certain authors can stow it.)

“There were many people there, elvish-looking folk, all dressed in green and brown and sitting on sawn rings of the felled trees in a great circle.” Why elvish-looking and not just elves?

“They were lost in a completely lightless dark and they could not even find one another, not for a long time at any rate. After blundering frantically in the gloom, falling over logs, bumping crash into trees, and shouting and calling till they must have waked everything in the forest for miles, at last they managed to gather themselves in a bundle and count themselves by touch.” First off, I want to serve this as an example of and proof that Tolkien, while not going quite so low as to make scatological and fart jokes, used plenty of slapstick comedy. Second, oh my god you guys, that is not the way to find each other in the dark!

“Thorin said: ‘No rushing forward this time! No one is to stir from hiding till I say. I shall send Mr. Baggins alone first to talk to them. They won’t be frightened of him--(‘What about me of them?’ thought Bilbo)-- and any way I hope they won’t do anything nasty to him.’” All praise the fearless and generous leader!

It reminds me of a fanfic I really like, still in progress, where the fanon dynamic for Bagginshield (and indeed, most common tropes of romance) gets subverted by having Thorin trust and rely on Bilbo to protect him instead of being overprotective. It was started after the first movie but before the others, and I can really see it in the book. (Of course, that probably has something to do with the fact that Tolkien didn’t write it to be romantic.)

“‘They are the best I am likely to get in this beastly place,’ he mutteres, ad he lay down beside the dwarves and tried to go back to sleep and find his dream again.” Dwarf(and hobbit)pile!

“He was deep in thoughts of bacon and eggs and toast and butter when he felt something touch him. Something like a strong sticky string was against his left hand, and when he tried to move he found that his legs were already wrapped in the same stuff, so that when he got up he fell over.

Then the great spider, who had been busy tying him up while he dozed, came from behind him and came at him.” Almost executed for daydreaming about breakfast in the middle of Mirkwood at night crimes.

“He beat the creature off with his hands--it was trying to poison him to keep him quiet, as small spiders do to flies--until he remembered his sword and drew it out.”

Bilbo: *balls up fists and swings them like cartoon boxer* Let’s do this Shire style!

But also, I want to point out that it says he beat it off not tried to beat it off. That implies success.

Also, I’m kind of freaked out at the implication that that’s a small spider.

“Then it went mad and leaped and danced and flung out its legs in horrible jerks, until he killed it with another stroke; and then he fell down and remembered nothing more for a long while.

There was the usual dim grey light of the forest-day about him when he came to his senses.” Fair.

“Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and even birds, got out of his was as quick as lightning if they saw him stoop; and even grow--up he had still spent a deal of his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand, bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and throwing sort--indeed he could do lots of things, besides blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I haven’t had time to tell you about. There is no time now.” There are so many levels of hilarity here, like

1- Bilbo used to be a fucking menace. And he didn’t quite get over it either!

2- They only ran away when he stooped? This just makes me think that he might have done nice things to make them at least tolerate him otherwise, instead of outright avoiding him or attacking him. Like, “ah, it’s that little boy, who’ll either feed us, he’s so nice and- uh oh he stooped, time to go boys.” Alternatively, it’s genetic memory warning them away from Bilbo. I was thinking maybe it was about all hobbits, but it does say “until they got out of his way”, meaning there was a time when they didn’t.

3- That’s such a hilariously late time in the story to introduce us to the fact that the main character has not only good aim but a strong enough arm to throw a stone right through a giant spider’s web, which would be thicker and probably more durable than the normal variety, already stronger than steel. And then kill the spider on the other side.

4- “Other quiet games of the aiming and throwing sort.” Idk man, other games of the sort, figure it out yourself.

5- I want to know about the other stuff Bilbo can do.

“This is what he sang:

Old fat spider spinning in a tree!

Old fat spider can’t see me!

Attercop! Attercop!

Won’t you stop,

Stop your spinning and look for me?

Old Tomnoddy, all big body.

Old Tomnoddy can’t spy me!

Attercop! Attercop!

Down you drop!

You’ll never catch me up your tree!

Not very good perhaps, but then you must remember that he had to make it up himself, on the spur of a very awkward moment.” Tolkien, shut up, it’s beautiful.

Also, lol, about to be eaten by spiders, how awks.

“Standing now in the middle of the hunting and spinning insects Bilbo plucked up his courage and began a new song.” Bilbo: If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be as annoyingly as possible.

Honestly, though, this is my favourite song in the book.

“Bilbo’s next job was to loose a dwarf.” Very different from losing a dwarf, which he’s already done x14 (Thorin counts twice, especially considering he hasn’t even realized he’s lost him yet).

“Suddenly Bilbo noticed that some of the spiders had gathered round old Bombur on the floor, and had tied him up again and were dragging him away. He gave a shout and slashed at the spiders in front of him. They quickly gave way, and he scrambled and fell down the tree right into the middle of those on the ground. His little sword was something new in the way of stings for them. How it darted to and fro! It shone with delight as he stabbed at them. Half a dozen were killed before the rest drew off and left Bombur to Bilbo.” Bilbo’s gone berserk.

Also, Sting shone with delight? What a bloodthirsty blade.

“Away behind them now the shouting and singing suddenly stopped.” DUN DUN DUUUUUN

“Things were looking pretty bad again, when suddenly Bilbo reappeared, and charged into the astonished spiders unexpectedly from the side.

‘Go on! Go on!” he shouted. “I will do the stinging!”

And he did. He darted backwards and forwards, slashing at spider-threads, hacking at their legs, and stabbing at their fat bodies if they came too near. The spiders swelled with rage, and spluttered and frothed, and hissed out horrible curses; but they had become mortally afraid of Sting, and dared not come very near, now that it had come back. So curse as they would, their prey moved slowly but steadily away. It was a most terrible business, and seemed to take hours.” Love this part. All very heroic.

“They knew only too well that they would soon all have been dead if it had not been for the hobbit; and they thanked him many times. Some of them even got up and bowed right to the ground before him, though they fell over with the effort, and could not get on their legs again for some time.” I can imagine Bilbo all flustered, going “good. Hope you’ve learned your lesson and won’t be doing that again. Limit yourself to fawning.”

“All of a sudden Dwalin opened an eye, and looked round at them. ‘Where is Thorin?’ he asked.”Lmao, finally!

“They differed from the High Elves of the West, and were more dangerous and less wise.” Feral.

“All this was well known to every dwarf, though Thorin’s family had had nothing to do with the old quarrel I have spoken of. Consequently Thorin was angry at their treatment of him, when they took their spell off and he came to his senses.” Another change done for the movie: Thorin’s family wasn’t involved in the feud.

Also lmao this weapon, a prisoner and all “how dare you”.

I’m not going to talk about the conversation between Thorin and Thranduil bc it’s probably been done to death.

Definitely my favourite chapter this far. Main character’s skills and learned courage begins to show? Check. He uses them in a fight that gives him extra confidence? Check. Heroics mixed with witty commentary and one-liners? Check. Team begins to see them in a new, more positive light? Check. Elves being made fun of and painted as kinda ridiculous? Check. (This one’s very subjective ig.)

#The Hobbit #liveblogging #Bilbo Baggins #Thorin Oakenshield III #dwarves #hobbits #The Company of Thorin Oakenshield #Gandalf #Elves #Mirkwood #Spiders

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crowned-ladybug · 5 years

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I’ve been meaning to get around to this for ages and I’m finally doing it now. So: since I’m not gonna write a fic on it probably (def not on the entire thing), here’s what happens after the end of That Sad Rivals Fic I Posted The Other Day

Warning: it is Long. Like, 5k words long.

Actual warning: blood, injury, self-esteem issues

OC blog is @menagerie-of-morons

The first one to notice that Jackie’s unconscious is ofc Marvin, thanks to the whole magic thing. He doesn’t actually immediately Know he’s out, just that Something Changed and when he looks down and sees his eyes closed + that he doesn’t react to being moved he realises what’s up and he swears his heart stops for a moment

Having Jackie injured and bloody and out cold in his arms brings up some Bad Memories

He starts looking rapidly between Stephen and Jackie, and at this point he’s in full Panic Mode and would probably be screaming and crying if they were alone

Stephen catches on p much immediately too, this whole thing goes down in the matter of seconds. He tries his best to stay calm or at least Look calm and keep his voice steady as he orders Teddy, Chase and Anraí to stay back (they can linger just pls don’t get in the way) and Marvin to help him carry Jackie to the lil infirmary connected to Stephen’s office

It ends up as just Marvin carrying Jackie bc can you imagine trying to pry him away from Marvin now? You literally can’t

Teddy, Anraí and Chase wait outside the door all crammed together to see what’s going on and Anraí slowly drapes himself over the other two bc they’re all scared and need the comfort. Teddy absently pets his head and Anraí almost cries (he’s trying really hard not to)

Marvin gets to help with healing this time but Stephen tells him right at the start that the moment he doesn’t do as he’s told (unspokenly mostly referring to “stop pushing yourself too far”) Stephen will force him to leave and that’s more than enough to make Marvin behave bc goddamn does he Not Want To Leave, Ever

The whole healing and patching up goes by in a blur bc they’re all just tired and confused and scared and running mostly on adrenaline. Stephen is used to this as much as he can be, and Marvin is so emotionally fucked up and sees so much blood everywhere it kinda loses meaning to him after a while (yknow like when you say a word so much it doesn’t sound like a word anymore? That.) At the door, Chase eventually turns around despite feeling shit about it and just hugs Anraí for comfort bc he just can’t watch, and after a while Teddy too looks at random corners and equipment in the room more than at what’s going on at the bed. Anraí can watch but it’s in part thanks to how unfamiliar he is with human anatomy

Marvin only dares speak once they’re all done, Jackie is all bandaged up and stitched together and magically healed to some extent. It’s mostly hiccups bc of how much he’s been crying and he asks wtf could have even happened?? And Stephen just sighs and he sounds and looks So Tired and says he wishes they knew but maybe they’ll find out when Jackie wakes up

Stephen knows better than to try to force Marvin to leave this time

He looks So Miserable and Stephen’s heart breaks for him bc here’s this proud ass goddamn Idiot he normally loves getting into playful arguments with and calling out for his bullshit, and who’s normally so dignified and smooth and a lil smug, and even when he’s not he’s full of brightness and fuckin fondness, all that fondness he somehow collected along the way - and now he looks so broken and small. He’s shaking and crying and barely daring to look away from Jackie, let alone let go of him, and it’s so heartbreaking seeing someone usually so collected and happy and content so fucked up.

And it runs through his head that Marvin’s gonna be all dehydrated now from all this crying, and he can’t allow that. He also can’t allow him to just stay sitting balanced on the edge of the bed bc he’s too tired to stand but doesn’t wanna take up too much space or disturb Jackie.

They have an armchair in the infirmary I shit you not. It has wheels and they keep it in a corner covered with a sheet when they don’t need it but they knew one day they Would need it bc there’d come another day when someone gets badly hurt and someone else wants to sit vigil by their side, and they might as well do that not entirely horribly uncomfortable. And so they got an armchair in the infirmary.

So Stephen gets the armchair and denies all help offered by Marvin bc he’s not sure if there’s anything more than meets the eye with the constant touching (he’s Smart, okay?) or if it’s just bc of how anxious and exhausted Marvin is, but either way he doesn’t wanna make him let go of Jackie’s hand if he doesn’t need to, for everyone’s sake.

So he pushes the armchair over and tugs Marvin into sitting in it and Marvin immediately curls up against the armrest of it while still holding Jackie’s hand.

And fuck, Stephen is so tired, but he’s gotta take care of all these scared kids first, he can’t rest until he knows they’ll all be okay. He asks the Door Gang if someone could go get them, mostly Marvin, some stuff – a blanket and pillow or two, a bottle of something to drink, Marvin’s phone and/or 3DS and a good book, so that they can both distract themselves. And maybe a change of clothes bc they both got p bloody.

Bc Stephen doesn’t feel ready to let Jackie out of his sight yet either.

Chase immediately volunteers for the fetch quest bc he’s glad to be helpful and Do Something aside from staring at all his friends looking so broken and small. And now Anraí is torn, bc he doesn’t know if he should stay and watch over everyone in the infirmary or to go with Chase to help him (and watch over Him), until Teddy pats his arm and tells him he’s got it covered here, he should go with Chase. So he does.

They come back with the best blankets and pillows in the house, and as comfortable clothes as they could find, and Marvin’s black cat plushie, and orange juice, and even remember to bring chargers for both phones And the 3DS. And then Anraí runs off again, then comes right back and takes Chase too bc he’s still p clueless in the kitchen, and then they come back a lil later with a pot of freshly brewed tea and mugs and stuff to put in the tea.

For a moment they even feel happy over completing their Quests so well

And then they see everyone else again and that joy is gone. Bc Marvin is curled up in the armchair still, but now wrapped in a blanket and presumably in different clothes bc there’s a pile of bloodied ones on the floor in the corner, and hugging his cat plushie with his free hand. Stephen is across from him on the other side of the bed, in an only moderately comfortable chair, just staring into nothing, and Teddy is leaning on the back of Marvin’s armchair. He absently reaches out to fiddle with a strand of Marvin’s hair that falls near his hand, but the moment he touches it Marvin shakes his head violently and whimpers.

Bc Marvin doesn’t wanna be touched at all rn anyway (except for yknow, holding Jackie’s hand) and usually Jackie is the only one who gets to and does play with his hair and He Doesn’t Wanna Think About All That Now.

Stephen tries to shoo everyone but Marvin away bc it’s okay, we got this now, you can go to sleep bc goddamn it’s late, but none of them want to leave. Anraí actually just goes “Fuck That!” a lil too loudly. And that’s how they end up all camping out there for a while.

They bring more blankets and pillows and the rest of them just sit on the floor. They even bring snacks jic someone’s stomach will eventually feel up for eating, but none of them do. They end up talking after a while, of random shit and anecdotes and whatnot to help distract themselves, and everyone but Marvin takes part. They call it quits when Chase falls asleep hugging Teddy’s arm, and they have to wake him up again to get him into bed.

Getting him off to bed ends up as him, Anraí and Teddy all piled onto one bed (bc Chase is a fancy bastard with a double bed) and they swear it’s “just five minutes” but when Stephen checks in on them before going to sleep himself he finds them asleep in a pile. Chase may or may not fall off the bed by morning without waking up and the only part of him that remains on is the leg Anraí wrapped his tail around in his sleep.

Stephen is the last one to leave, bc nothing has changed in hours so he hopes that’ll keep up while he sleeps. He tells Marvin to call him as soon as something does happen, even if it seems minor or ends up being a false alarm, it’s okay. Marvin just nods, and lets Stephen hug him, and then v hoarsely says goodnight.

And so Marvin is left to sit vigil on his own again.

The first thing Jackie knows when he wakes up is the dull ache everywhere in his body, and then sharper pain in a Lot of different spots. The next thing he doesn’t even consciously acknowledge, but it’s Marvin’s magic surrounding him, which he’s just so used to at this point he doesn’t really bat an eye.

The third thing is that he remembers that he’s sad, or supposed to be sad at least. He doesn’t know why, he just is, and for now he’s not too bothered about finding out. But he figures that if he’s sad and Marvin is here, then the easy solution is to talk to him or cuddle with him or something, and then maybe he won’t be sad anymore.

When he opens his eyes he finds a mostly asleep Marvin with his head resting on the edge of the bed, the armchair he’s still mostly in pulled up as close as it will go, and holding his hand. And that + yknow, getting a glimpse of his own arm all bandaged up finally makes him remember Why he’s here and what happened.

And in bright daylight, he feels like shit about it! It was a shitty way to handle everything and bad for Everyone and right now he doesn’t even understand Why he felt the need to do that and he really, really wishes he didn’t. Bc now everything Hurts, and he knows he must’ve scared everyone too. And he must’ve Especially scared poor Marvin, who’s here falling asleep on the edge of the infirmary bed, his blanket mostly on the floor and his face smudged from crying. Bc Jackie doesn’t know Everything about how Marvin handled it the first time something like this happened or why it fucked him up so much, but he knows that it Did and that alone should’ve been enough reason for him to take care of himself, bc he’d never wanna put Marvin through whatever hell he went through the first time.

And yet he did anyway.

He knows this whole thing is gonna lead to so many unpleasant conversations now, and he hates it and wants to postpone it as much as possible. He doesn’t wanna have to look his friends in the eye (he won’t, he’ll stare at anything else possible to avoid looking at them anyway) and tell them that he went and almost got himself killed bc of some stupid self-esteem issues.

But he doesn’t wanna deal with any of that rn so instead he decides to wake Marvin as gently as he can bc they probably Both need comfort rn. He starts by just rubbing circles into the back of his hand, and that alone is enough, bc p much as soon as he starts to move Marvin jolts awake, eyes wide in alarm, clearly never having meant to doze off in the first place.

And then he sees Jackie, awake and looking at him with a small, gentle smile, and he starts to cry again.

It takes some convincing that no, it’s okay, he won’t get super hurt from it, but eventually Jackie manages to tug Marvin onto the bed with him. Bc goddamnit, maybe making space for both of them Will hurt for a bit, but Marvin is sad and scared and probably spent an entire night sitting in an armchair and nodding off on the edge of the bed, and Jackie wouldn’t mind some cuddling either despite the pain, so fuck it. They make it work.

Marvin eventually ends up on his side while Jackie still lies on his back, and he holds onto him, careful not to hurt him more, and he just...cries. He tries his best to be quiet and not gross about it, and eventually it turns into mostly just small, breathless hiccups bc he’s already been crying so much. Jackie isn’t sure what to say to make it better, and his voice is hoarse and quiet, but he says stuff like “it’s okay” and “I’m here” and “we’re safe, nothing bad’s gonna happen now”. Sometimes Marvin mumbles something back, and most of it sounds suspiciously like “I love you”, so Jackie says it back every time he thinks he hears it.

He feels bad about it afterwards, but after a while, despite Marvin’s crying and occasional nervous fidgeting, he drifts off again.

The next time he wakes up again he comes to fairly quickly, and finds himself in the middle of a stand off, because on one side he’s got Stephen standing next to the bed, trying really hard not to smile through his mock-angry expression, on the other he’s got Marvin still lying next to him and holding his arm and staring up at Stephen like he’s the world’s most horrible traitor.

Turns out Stephen told Marvin that he should probably not be cuddling his asleep and v injured boyfriend and Marvin called him an asshole for it.

And honestly the whole thing is kinda just…..sweet and goofy for a lil bit?? Marvin finally smiles when he sees Jackie awake and Jackie finds it ridiculous himself but his heart does a happy lil backflip at that, and he feels v giddy when Marvin gives him a “good morning” kiss on the cheek. Stephen v fondly tells him he’s glad he’s finally awake before nagging Marvin until he begrudgingly sits up and lets Stephen do a check-up on Jackie.

Jackie is well enough thanks to Stephen’s expert work + Marvin’s magic that he can at least leave the infirmary and instead is moved to one of the couches in the living room, where he’s told to still stay on his ass as much as possible, but at least he’s more comfortable and gets to hang out with everyone else. He gets a change of clothes and also breakfast (and so does Marvin bc he hasn’t eaten yet either) and eventually Marvin snuggles up with him (he had a shit night, okay) and they play pokemon together (a lot of handing the 3DS back and forth and “oh god why did you do that, come on let me do it” “no, fuck you”) when there’s no conversation going on with anyone else around.

And for a lil while Jackie feels content despite the pain and being stuck in bed (couch), bc he’s safe and cosy and everyone is being nice to him without babying him and he gets to criticise Marvin’s pokemon naming practices as much as he wants.

(They’re playing the same Moon save that Marvin had played the first time Bad Things happened to Jackie, and in which he has a shiny ribombee named after Jackie, called ShortySofboy, which is short for “Shorty McSoftboy” bc it didn’t fit.)

They know they’re not in any immediate danger (Anraí assured them that none of his kind are anywhere Near the house, and Marvin has wards up in case they Did decide to come pay them a visit), so they let Jackie have his nice morning instead of interrogating him. But all enjoyable mornings must come to an end and Anraí is the one who eventually slips up and all casually asks Jackie “what the fuck were you doing out there last night, anyway?”

And Jackie has to scramble for a lie to tell.

Marvin feels Jackie’s pulse jump (bc he’s still right next to him, he is Not Leaving) and gives Anraí a very disapproving look and Anraí refuses to look at him after that. Jackie kinda retreats into his shell for a lil while to come up with something, but the others assume it’s bc he doesn’t wanna talk about/remember all the events from last night.

It barely helps Jackie at all tho bc goddamnit Anraí looks genuinely sorry for bringing it up too early and Marvin is looking at him all soft and concerned, he doesn’t Deserve them being so kind to him when he was out there doing Bullshit Reckless Things he Knew would get him hurt.

He is This Close to just saying he’d rather not talk about it, but he might as well, right? Sooner or later it Will happen, maybe if he does it now he won’t have to tell Everyone, they’ll just discuss amongst themselves. Which isn’t likely bc they’re more respectful than that, but he can hope, right?

“I...I did some very stupid shit last night.”

He can feel Marvin shift next to him and he can see Anraí’s ear flick curiously and he can practically Feel them wanting to tell him he’d never done anything wrong in his life ever but not knowing if they Should bc they don’t know the full story yet.

So he tells them he went to one of the places they never go, ever, because they Know they’re swarming with more monsters than all of them together could handle on a good day, and tried to pick off a few. Knowing full well the few would turn into many. He tells them, in a small voice, that he doesn’t even know how he got away.

He doesn’t tell them that he remembers running off a ledge, not even sure he could fly anymore, then flying as fast as he possibly could, and crashing in an alley bc he was too exhausted to even land properly anymore.

He carefully, deliberately avoids mentioning Why.

And so, of course, they ask.

Anraí just looks shocked and still so sorry for bringing it up, bc Jackie obviously doesn’t wanna talk about it. And Marvin looks worried and even scared, but also confused, bc he knows he’s missing Something, there’s something here he missed but should’ve seen long ago. Maybe he could have prevented this.

But Jackie doesn’t see any of that, bc he can’t make himself look up and see how sorry they are, see their concern and worry, knowing he did this all because he doesn’t know how to deal with his own shitty feelings, not even for a moment considering how it’d affect his friends. He keeps his eyes fixed on his lap, and tries to brace himself for when it hits. For explaining Why.

Marvin is the one to ask it. “But...why?” The rest of the question is lost somewhere, but Jackie gets it. They all get it.

He sounds so small and uncertain, Jackie has to keep himself from wincing.

“Because I...I suck at handling my own fucking feelings. So I went off and did some stupid shit.”

He sounds so angry and disappointed, but at himself, and Marvin and Anraí want to comfort him but Can’t bc they don’t know How.

“I wanted to prove that I’m worth something!”

The end of it almost comes out as a yell, but it’s choked and broken and desperate, and Jackie sounds like he’s about to cry.

He is.

“I wanted to prove that I’m not just here for comic relief, I can hold my own and handle shit myself! I’m not just a little idiot to be babied and saved! I’m not holding you guys back!”

He’s crying, but he doesn’t even care to wipe the tears away bc he’s Angry and Tired and just wishes he could go back and not do this, but he knows he’d do it again anyway. He needed to prove himself Somehow, even if he chose the wrong way to do so.

He feels out of breath and his throat hurts and it’s an effort to even just swallow properly. Every cut and bruise and stitch hurts.

“...and I wasn’t even right. I had to be saved anyway.”

He wishes he could just get up and leave and not have to be part of this conversation anymore. He doesn’t wanna see their worried, sad faces and hear their pity. He doesn’t want any of this. But he can’t leave, bc everything hurts and he’d just be held back out of worry anyway. And then Stephen would kill him if he found out.

He doesn’t want their uncertain little half-sentences that get cut off on their own anyway. He tells them to save it. And they do.

He’s pretty sure he’s shaking.

Anraí asks if there’s anything they can do to help, and he just shrugs. He doesn’t know, doesn’t care. But then Marvin asks if he can hug him, and…

He doesn’t know. Does he want comfort? Does he deserve it?

He nods.

And so he’s drawn into a careful, gentle hug, Marvin’s hands avoiding all his worst injuries, like he knows where they are without looking, and he does. Bc his magic is still there, reading Jackie’s vitals like it’s second nature at this point. And he doesn’t talk, which Jackie is grateful for, he says nothing aside from a quiet, genuine “I’m sorry.” And Jackie finds himself pressing into him the best he can without it hurting.

He just wants to hide here from the world for a while.

There’s more talks. Awkward, nervous talks that Jackie has to mentally prepare himself for and finishes shaking, with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. Marvin usually holds his hand or rubs his back through them, not caring if anyone bats an eye at the “unwarranted” PDA during a heavy conversation. All he cares about is that it makes things a bit easier for Jackie.

They talk about a lot of things, over time. They talk about Jackie’s self-esteem, his fear of getting left behind or being a burden to the group. About his unhealthy ways of coping with that. About how this mission or any mission doesn’t determine his worth and place in the team. About how they all love and value and respect him, and about how they could do more to show that, to keep this from happening again, to keep him from getting lonely with his thoughts.

And so they try to make it all better.

The effort they put in shows and sometimes results in the same effect as a clumsily supportive parent cheering you on through something they barely know anything about, but did their enthusiastic research on the internet anyway. They do their best to make sure he knows how much they value him, how proud they are of him, how amazed they are by his abilities. That he’s just as much a part of the team as everyone else is. That they know he can hold his own.

It doesn’t go quick and it doesn’t work perfectly immediately, but they work on it. The bad thoughts don’t go away right away and fully, but Jackie learns to work through them and tell them they’re wrong.

And this time, he’s got help.

Marvin wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s a restless night, he’s already woken up and struggled himself back to sleep three times. He’s about to just roll over and try again, when he decides that maybe he should chance if Jackie is awake. Cuddling? An all nighter? Who the fuck cares he just wants to do Something other than This and Jackie sounds like the perfect company for that.

Except he finds Jackie’s room empty.

And that’s it, he doesn’t look for any logical explanations or clues or anything, his brain immediately kicks into overdrive and flashes him back to the last time Jackie disappeared at night, and then came back bleeding out and passed out in his arms.

It is Not a fun feeling.

He doesn’t wake anyone anyway bc What If It’s A False Alarm, he’d never live that down (everyone would forgive him, but him? He wouldn’t forget the shame), so he just goes looking, hoping Jackie is in their giant ass house Somewhere doing something completely mundane and safe.

The bathroom is empty, he could already see that bc there was no light coming out from under the door, but he checks anyway. The kichen and living room are also empty, and at this point his logic is getting fucky from all the tiredness and anxiety, so he barely knows where he should look next.

He checks the indoor garden.

It’s so ridiculously calm compared to everything he’s feeling rn. There’s a cloudless sky with perfect constellations above, a slight breeze weaving through the plants that’s coming from nowhere, and the flickering lil lights they call fireflies but don’t know for Sure bc they’ve spent night after night trying to catch them and never could. It’s so quiet and peaceful, he doesn’t wanna yell, even if he knows none of his sleeping friends would hear and wake up to it.

He hurries along the path to the lil resting area they have, with a couple benches and lots of pillows and fairy lights. He sees the fairy lights shining through the trees before he sees the rest.

And he finds Jackie sitting on one of the benches, a book in his hands. Safe and sound.

All the anxiety and adrenaline disappears in that single moment and Marvin almost collapses, which sounds hella dramatic but he’s fuckin Tired and was Not prepared to panickedly scour the house for his boyfriend at like 2am.

Jackie can see that Something Is/Was Wrong so he’s v gentle when he talks but also he makes grabby hands at Marvin until he 1. giggles at it and 2. comes over to sit.

“Shit night?” “Yeah...” “Same.”

Marvin wants to just v simply tell why he’s here but instead he just spills a whole lot of thoughts at once and Jackie listens patiently. “I couldn’t sleep and I went to find you, bc why the fuck not, right? Worth a try. But you weren’t in your room so I got stupid anxious bc What If You Left, again, to get hurt and prove yourself. And I was worried. Not bc I don’t think you can handle things! You can. I trust you and I believe in you and I know you can handle shit on your own, I promise! But you’re also my best friend and my boyfriend and I Love You and I’m worried about you getting hurt bc I really don’t want you to get hurt. Not bc you can’t handle it, just…bc it sucks.”

That, fyi, is a Lot of Feeling Talk to get out of Marvin at once, or at all. Jackie is kinda baffled but also, like, it’s in the middle of the night, and tired, just-came-down-from-an-adrenaline-rush Marvin is a Very feelsy Marvin.

And so Jackie tells him that it’s okay, he gets it, and also that he’s actually having a good night mental health-wise, he just couldn’t sleep bc of restlessness. It happens. But he knows the reason Marvin worries about him is bc he cares and he’s been getting better about in general seeing worry as caring instead of condescending. Marvin is so glad he’s doing better.

At some point Jackie winds up on Marvin’s lap and Marvin hugs him Very Tight and okay Jackie can’t go back to reading like this now but it’s okay bc it’s nice. They eventually end up dozing off sitting which isn’t Super Comfy but they’re fine and neither of them feel like getting up and going back to bed when they actually grow tired enough to fall asleep. But it’s okay.

They just feel a lil cold when they wake up in the morning.

#original art #original character #original writing #writing #fuck it it gets the tag #rivals au #oc: jackie #oc: marvin #oc: stephen #oc: anraí #oc: chase #oc: theodore #hi my hands are absolutely killing me now!!!!!! enjoy

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glamrus-puta · 6 years

Text

Help I Start School Tomorrow: A Check List

Do you need some sweet ass advice from somebody who’s spent no less than 18 years struggling through the muck of academia? Of course you do! Here’s a handy-ass dandy-ass guide to wtf should be going on in your pre-school prep!

Let’s get started~

1) What should I do with my day before I go back to the hell hole that is school?

I’m glad you asked! Do things that make the start of the semester feel like a fun and luxurious adventure awaits you! Especially for college and university people, the start of the semester loses pizzazz with age (and time).

Hype yourself up with some simple self care, these things don’t have to be expensive or cost anything at all if you can utilize what’s lying around in your kitchen, bathroom, neighbour’s house or wherever.

Wash your damn hair! Shower and take all the time you need, shave if you want to while you’re in there. The goal is to feel fresh and a lil less greasy the next morning.

Are you a lazy ass that doesn’t have time to moisturize? Me too! Get some Nivea in-shower lotion if you can, and before you towel dry douse yourself with baby oil gel (or literally just some olive oil or coconut oil- whatever you got lying around). Show yourself some love!!

Now is a great time to style your hair for tomorrow and protect it with a low pony or a night cap, btw

Do a face mask! Do a hair mask! Do a foot mask! Do whatever tf kind of mask you got handy! Use foods from your kitchen, or try Freeman masks they’re around 4$ each. Dollar store prices, department store quality.

Take an hour to fix your nails, toe nails, wax the stache or do any body maintenance you usually do. Pretend you’re going to a sick ass party and you’re grooming your meat vessel to perfection.

Lay out your sick outfit for tomorrow- pro tip: you want to be comfy and functional on buses/trains/on foot or however you commute. Think hard about the kind of weather you’ll be up against, and the general state of the terrain on your commute. Put your outfit on a hanger so it’s ready for tomorrow, even if you can’t do this every night during the school year it’ll get you in the right mental state to have your first day

Prep your meds! A big part of feeling good is taking our medications on time to reap their maximum benefits. Put them out on your kitchen counter if you think you’ll forget, go through your medicine cabinet: is there anything you need to remember to take with you to have during the day? Set alarms on your phone if (like me) you’ve got pills to take at different times of day- label them something that you’ll understand. (I use the names of the doctors that prescribed them so I know which pills are physical health and which are mental health).

Pack your lunch for tomorrow. Fruits and veggies bitch none of this “I’ll buy it when I get there” nonesense. Remember to stay hydrated! Bring some kind of receptacle to hold water/tea/coffee whatever. This is a solid habit to have year round, but remember the first couple school days can frazzle you pretty good and it’s good to have snacks on hand.

CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM. You’re gonna be shooketh in a bad way if you wake up on the first day of classes with a messy bathroom and shit strewn all over your sleeping space. Take all the time you need to put things lovingly away, if you’re feeling ambitious update your calendar and spray a little room spray or light a scented candle. Ooh la la

Do something fun. Do something distracting. Go out with a friend, read a book, take a couple hours of ‘me time’. You’ll be ready to die for it during the semester.

Feeling nervous? Call literally anybody you can stand to talk to for more than five minutes. Talk about dogs, talk about boats, ask them to guess how many jelly beans you’re holding right this second (sike b the answer is 0)- take a couple steps away from the whole school thing.

2) What the hell do I put in my backpack??

So this is where I fly into an unGodly rage. I’m so tired of seeing Instagram posts telling people their make up, perfume and breath mints are the most important of their school arsenal. What’s gonna save you when you bleed through your pants at school cause Aunt Flo decides to come chill on campus? Your perfume? Unlikely.

Here’s the real tea on what you should have in your bag, based on years of oopses, dire situations, and general mishap management.

A pencil case. Preferably full of writing implements. I can’t believe I have to tell people this but like......I do.....y’all childish

MEDICAL BAG: A small pouch is all you need! Tuck this away in your bag’s inside pocket, or in your purse, it could save not only your life but somebody else’s too. Get your prescriptions you need throughout the day like inhalers, anti anxiety meds, lactose intolerance pills, Imodium, symethicone etc.

Pack some ginger gravol (or regular drowsy gravol) for motion sickness or for when the flu season hits

Benadryl pills (and your epipen if you have one!) this is one of those things you should always have lying around at home and in your car

Alcohol swabs and band aids of your choice. Most pharmacies will sell 100 swabs for around 3$, look in dollar stores for discreet 1st aids packs and band aids. Stash them in your little pouch, it might not be you who falls down a flight of stairs and needs to bandage up their elbow- but at least you can help. (Based on a true story!!!!)

Panty liners/ tampons/ pads- this is another one of those things that others may benefit from

Get yourself a mini deodorant (3$ at Walmart) and wrap your hair ties around it. Double trouble, double storage capacity!

Tylenol/Advil, hunt around for little plastic pill holders like Pill Pals, they’re not usually more than 2 or 3 bucks and they hold A TON of pills

Vagina Bonus Round: do you take birth control? Have a tube of Canesten/Monistat/Vagisil or whatever for when the yeast season is upon us

Remember to carry your hospital card and/or medical insurance card on you at all times

Pharmacies will give face wipes individually wrapped for free. Usually brands like Cetaphil will dump them off as testers for customers- ask your local pharmacy cashier for stuff like mini hand creams, spf lip balms and face wipes. We’re happy to give them to you and you’ll get some real use out of them!

ASS WIPES. GET SOME. You can wipe down your bag with them, wipe down tables with them, flush them, and do all kinds of damage control. Trust.

Emergency money- the medical bag is a great place to hide emergency money (think bus fare, or 5$ for emergency food) because people are unlikely to rob what looks like a 1st aid kit

3. Friends come and go but portable chargers are forever- you can find cheap key chain ones at dollar stores. If you’re going to spring for one that lasts a few days on one charge I suggest the OKZU from Amazon. It’s HELLA SLIM and I can hold a charge for about 3 days before it reaches even 75% battery capacity. (It’s also the most budget friendly I’ve found to date about 14$ after shipping).

4. Remember make up, gum, little travel items and perfume can have a place in your bag but I would suggest transferring as much as you can into smaller and smaller containers. A whole bottle of perfume is a lot to carry around, imagine a water bottle bouncing around your bag- that’s the kind of space you’re using up. Be mindful of just how many books/ copy books/ textbooks you’ll be toting around and if it gets to be too much- get an actual tote!

5. A little clip on hand sanitizer never hurt anybody...also Kleenex I promise you’ll use it. (And if you don’t I’ll be there to borrow it lmao) ALLERGY SEASON BONUS ROUND: a small bottle of off brand artificial tears are great to stow in your glasses case for all those shitty October mornings where your eyes refuse to act like eyes and not the Sahara Desert 🐫 off brand artificial tears run for between 2-4$ at most Walmarts!

3) I’ve used my last 24 hours to get my shit together- but I have a horrible impending sense of doom! What should I do?

Ah anozzer day in bikini bottom, which means another day of crippling anxiety for 25% of adult Canadian students! (Wow that’s a lot of students!) Boy do I know how tough it is to be thrown back into the pressure cooker of life that we call school. Here are some tips from me to you that I hope help a little bit:

I believe in you! It’s not a tip, but I want you to know that I do. If you’re feeling unsure/ silly/ out of your element/ etc think about me wandering around just as confused as you are! And have a good laugh at my expense! Shoot me a DM, scroll around my nonesense blog- wow check me out I’m a real living person and I made this post for you- because why? I care about your well being! Sometimes it just helps to know that there’s somebody out there thinking about you and wishing for your safe return home at the end of the day~ for the start of your semester I’ll be that person. *smooch*

Arrive early! My therapist once told me that rolling out of bed five minutes before I have to be somewhere limits my chances of having a calm and meaningful experience where I’m going. I hate to admit it but she makes a good point. Wake up early and do something nice for you: have breakfast, just sit on your balcony and breathe some fresh air, pet your cat and gaze upon their stupid face. Take the time.

Arrive early BONUS TIP: get to where you’re going an hour early and just wander! Window shop, roam the building, learn where the fire exit is, sit outside on a bench and watch the students come in and out. The longer you chill at school the homier it’ll feel, and the more you feel at home somewhere the more you feel at ease. Strike up random convos with strangers if you’re feeling brave, or text an understanding friend to meet you there and roam alongside you.

Plan your day! Get an agenda if it’s in your means, or just scribble on some scrap paper. Make your grocery list, write your tasks of the day, your goals of the day, or even just a positive affirmation. Sometimes even when I know exactly what I’m doing that day, or have something trivial to do (like laundry) I’ll write down “do laundry” to feel like I have a clear path to follow.

Embrace your local accessibility Center and school councellor. Don’t live in fear of the resources your school provides. It seems scary/embarrassing/weird to have to have special accommodations to deal with your anxiety or depression but GIRL once you’re all set with the appropriate tools there’s truely nothing that can stop you. This was my experience anyway, but I strongly urge everybody I meet to take advantage of school services and wring them for all they’ve got. They’re there for you boo!

HOT TIP: feeling dizzy and overwhelmed on the bus? Look at the wall or something that isn’t moving. DONT LOOK OUT THE WINDOWS AS THIS MAKES DIZZINESS WORSE. Breathe in 2 beats and out 3 beats- this cuts your fight or flight. If you’re going to drink take small sips out of a straw or without moving your head. My GP gave me this advice and it’s saved my whole ass quite a few times.

Download free apps that are anti anxiety in the form of fun games. I’ve had positive results with Viridii (where you grow a little succulent garden) Tap Tap Fish (basically you’re a sentient coral that decorates the sea floor) and Polytap (you basically count the vertices of spinning polygons). A cursory google search will reveal more fun games for emergency anxiety relief! I also like to go on YouTube and search for positive affirmation anxiety videos, or storm/white noise/ ocean anti anxiety sounds the night before to get me in the right headspace to sleep!

So this has been your lightning round/ crash course for what to do the 24 hours before school! I hope you feel a little more prepared to take on the start of the semester!

A dios hoes!!

#selfhelp #help #tips #backtoschool #school #college #university #studentlife #student #lucifearo #me #mypost

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donnarider · 6 years

Text

!!DISCONTINUED!! Klance - soulmate au (part 4)

Author’s notes:

update 12th July 2019: This story is unfortunately discontinued. There will not be a next part. I’m really sorry.

Read part 1

Read part 2

Read part 3

“Bold” texts are from Keith, “italic” texts are from Lance

„Wow, that’s… rough?“

„Yes it is! I mean… I meant what I said. I just thought he would...”

“Say that he wants to be more than friends?”

“Yeah…” Lance put his head on the table they were studying at. The library was quiet and Lance had a hard time keeping his voice down while telling Hunk about his horrible not-date date.

“So how did the rest of the da…what happened after that?”

“Well, I was dying on the inside and pretended everything was fine on the outside. So, the usual.”

“Lance!”

Lance sighed and leaned back on his chair. The library’s ceiling suddenly seemed very fascinating to him. “We talked about stuff like favourite movies and such. I asked him about his bike. I had to leave for my seminar and he said he’d text me.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hunk decided and squeezed Lance’s shoulder supportively. “Maybe he just needs some time?”

“And what do I do if he doesn’t? I thought I’d be fine with being just friends but-,” he waved his hands around in a helpless motion. “I was basically doomed when he told me to be nice to my coffee in Spanish. I can’t just NOT crush on him now, you know. And that sucks… big time.”

Hunk smiled sympathetically at him and continued to flip through the book in front of him. “Just take it slow. Take a break for a few days and then invite him to do something and see what it feels like then. He’ll either change his mind or you could just bring me and Pidge along to make the friends thing easier. Maybe that’ll help?”

“Hmm. Yeah, maybe.”

Hunk closed his book and got up. “You up for visiting Pidge and Matt? I don’t think we’re gonna get anything done here right now. Also I think Matt finally got that video game you wanted to play so badly.”

“Nooo, Hunk. You wanted to study. I didn’t mean to distract you, I’m just gonna-“

“It’s fine, Lance. I can’t concentrate anyways. And you helped me so much with my last essay, I think I can go a day without studying.”

Lance smiled at him and got to his feet as well. “Okay. But I swear I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and then we’re gonna take a look at the stuff from Iverson’s physics lecture.” Hunk groaned loudly and made Lance laugh with his desperate expression. “I know, I know. But we both have to get better at that stuff.” He stood behind Hunk and made a gesture over his shoulder like he wanted to show Hunk a beautiful landscape.

“NASA, dude. NASA.”

“Ugh, you’re right. But Matt and Pidge now. My brain needs a break.”

Lance swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I get one of Pidge’s hugs. I love Pidge’s hugs.”

Hunk beside him nodded. “Everyone does, man. They’re the best.”

Wednesday

(3:15am): WTF DUDE? ???

(3:17am): I KNOW SORRY! Its our stupid neighbors having a party…

(3:18am): AT T HIS HOU R???

(3:18am): pls kill them for me

(3:20am): I would but prison isnt as appealing to me as you might think

(3:21am): So ur bad boy attitude knows boundaries? ;)

(3:22am): Dont mock me Im too tired for this

(3:24am): Yeh I can feel that

(3:24am): u really dont deal well without ur beauty sleep

(3:25am): Sorry :( And no, I really dont

(3:31am): KEEEEEEITHH do smth!!!!

(3:32am): I have a test tomorrow !!

(3:34am): OM G IT STOPPED

(3:35am): Keith?

(3:35am): did u kill them?

(3:36am): maybe

(3:36am): KE ITH!

(3:37am): I slipped an anonymous note under their door that I would kill their cat if they didnt turn off the music immediately…

(3:38am): O M G thats cruel

(3:38am): u dont threaten peoples pets

(3:38am): NOT COOL!

(3:39am): chill, I was joking. It said Id call the cops on them

(3:40am): Oh okay good hope ur not just saying that

(3:40am): Also thankk

(3:41am): no problem. Good night, Lance

(3:43am): Lance?

(7:36am): SORRY FELL ASLEEP!

(7:37am): Have fun at work today :)

Friday

(4:12pm): why

(4:25pm): what? u dont like it? ;)

(4:28pm): no

(4:29pm): oh come on! The queen is my best study motivation!

(4:30pm): please just stop

(4:32pm): KEITH! YOU INSULT BEYONCÉ YOU INSULT ME

(4:33pm): Can’t you study to something normal

(4:35pm): Normal normal or you normal?

(4:36pm): I dont care. Just no more beyoncé please. It’s been hours

(4:39pm): Lance?

(4:42pm): really?

(4:42pm): Evanescence? That’s mature…

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE

(4:45pm): I hate you

(4:46pm): No u dont :)

(4:47pm): STOP THIS MADNESS!

(4:48pm): Hunk says if you come to a college thing with us tomorrow, he’ll stop me for you

(4:50pm): What kind of thing?

(4:51pm): dunno, Hunk wont say, but its really good apparently

(4:53pm): OKAY DEAL NOW PLEASE STOP

(4:54pm): Party-pooper

(4:56pm): Tell Hunk I love him

Keith got off his bike, took off his helmet and unzipped his leather jacket. He headed towards the university building with mixed feelings about what awaited him. He had fought with himself about coming today but eventually the curious side of him had won. Keith wanted to see what Hunk had planned for them and also even if it scared him to admit it…he missed Lance.

Logically he knew that it did not make any sense. They hardly knew each other. But emotionally he just… missed him. He sighed and blinked against the bright sunlight. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes against it and bumped into someone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t sweat it. All good here.” A friendly voice interrupted him. The tall boy in front of him looked him over and tilted his head to the side. „Hey, are you Keith by any chance?”

Keith nodded. “The one and only.”

“Oh, great! I’m Hunk.“ Keith took the big hand he was offered and returned the welcoming smile. When Hunk gestured for them to move out of the sun and stand in the tall building’s shadow Keith followed him thankfully.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for saving me yesterday by the way.”

“Oh, no problem. Lance can get like that sometimes when he’s stressed. He didn’t mean anything by it. You know… finals and all. He’s a bit on edge around this time of the year.”

“No, I get it. NASA is a big thing, who wouldn’t freak out, right?”

Hunk gave a nervous laugh. “Yah, I guess. So umm, Lance had to pick up our friend Pidge, they should be here-“

“Exactly now.” Lance’s voice interrupted them. He stopped next to Hunk and let Pidge whom he had been carrying just now slip off his back.

“Hey, Keith. This is Pidge. They use they pronouns. I guess you already know Hunk by now.” Lance smiled at him and clapped Hunk on the back.

Keith nodded and raised his hand in greeting at Pidge. Immediately he regretted the awkward gesture and lowered his hand quickly.

“What’s up butter cup.” Pidge replied with a grin completely ignoring Keith’s weird behavior, who in return just raised an eyebrow at their choice of words.

“Lance, why did you carry Pidge here? Did you take ‘pick them up’ literally again?” Hunk asked with his hands on his hips.

“They paid me two dollars.”

Pidge shrugged. “I didn’t want to walk. It’s too early.”

“It’s almost noon, Pidge.” Hunk said while shaking his head but there was a visible smile on his lips.

“Exactly. Way too early.”

“I feel you, Pidge.” Keith threw in. “I had three coffees before I got here.”

Pidge yawned and stretched their arms over their head. “Good thinking. I only had one and I feel dead inside.”

“So, Hunk. What is this thing? Why are we here?” Lance asked and absently patted Pidge’s head while they leaned against him, eyes closed and repeatedly yawning.

“We are here, because today…” Hunk made a dramatic pause, “They are having a lecture about space for family and friends of students and-“

“AHHH STAR CEILING?” Lance interrupted Hunk excited while bouncing up and down, Hunk just smiled and nodded.

“Yep, Star ceiling.”

“What exactly is star ceiling?” Keith asked confused. Judging from Lance’s reaction this had to be the best thing in the entire universe.

“It’s only the best thing ever, dude,” Lance started to explain while taking Keith’s arm and pulling him in the direction of a big building.

“They only do this once or twice a year when they have family day for the freshmen and around finals for the really stressed out students so they don’t go all homicidal and stuff.” They entered the lecture hall and Lance directed them to a row in the back. “It’s basically just a short lecture about space and planets and what we do here at college but at the end they turn off the lights and project stars on the ceiling and walls. Dude…it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It will change you!” He gestured for Keith to sit down in one of the empty seats and sat next to him.

Hunk took the seat on Keith’s other side and Pidge sat next to Lance. It seemed like they were just in time because a man holding a mic entered the small stage. From the corner of his eyes Keith saw Pidge leaning over to Lance and whispering something into his ear. A moment later Lance bent forward so that Hunk and Keith could both hear him.

“Sorry guys, we’re gonna get Pidge more coffee. They are literally about to murder someone. We’ll be back in a minute.” With that they both left the room and Keith was alone with Hunk, which he didn’t mind that much. They had only exchanged a few sentences but Keith already liked the guy.

The man on the stage started talking about the importance of astronomy and explained the different subjects they were teaching. Unfortunately he had a really boring and monotone voice and Keith immediately zoned out. Thank God Hunk was there to keep him entertained.

“I know this stuff isn’t really interesting, especially not when he’s talking,” Hunk pointed in the direction of the stage. “But it’s really worth it. Lance didn’t exaggerate…well maybe a little… but it actually is crazy beautiful.”

“So you three all study astronomy?” Keith asked. This was his opportunity to learn a bit more about Lance and his friends without this nervous feeling he got around his soulmate. Hunk somehow managed to create an atmosphere around him that immediately made Keith feel comfortable.

“Yeah. It was actually Lance who got me into this stuff when we were younger. We met Pidge here on our first day. They are this crazy genius and got into college early. They are only sixteen but way ahead of most of the students here. Turned out they and their brother Matt live in the same building as me and Lance so we hung with them a couple of times and now we’re all basically besties for life.”

“Space nerds unite,” Keith said with a smile.

“Haha, yeah. Basically.”

“So… do you and Pidge wanna get into NASA too or is that only Lance?” Keith checked the stage for a second but the guy was still talking about boring stuff and Keith noticed that a few other people in the audience had started quiet conversations.

“Well Pidge is as good as in, let’s be real. Me… well. Of course NASA is the dream for almost everyone at this university and I would be thrilled… but I’m not as set as Lance if that makes sense. I feel like I could work anywhere as long as I’m close to my friends.” Hunk shrugged and knitted his brows in deep thought before he cleared his throat.

“Lance is working really hard for it though. You have no idea how many scholarships he had to apply for before he finally got a foot in. Didn’t stop him though.” He smiled and Keith could feel how proud he was of his friend. “You know, the first year was rough. He failed an important test two times and was sure they were gonna kick his ass but he studied harder than all of us and now he’s always in the top 5.”

“Wow. That’s really impressive,” Keith heard himself say and immediately wanted to slap himself. Way to sound like a high school fangirl, Kogane. Can we please think before we speak, brain?!

“Yeah it is.” Hunk sighed, unfazed by Keith’s inner distress. “It’s also really hard to watch sometimes though…”

Keith raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not the part where he’s top of the class, no. I mean how he gets there. You can’t imagine how many all-nighters the boy pulls during finals and he always pushes himself to get better. I mean it’s great that he’s improving but sometimes I wish he would allow himself a break.” He stiffened and gave a quick laugh. “I’m talking too much again, aren’t I. Sorry, this must be a weird first impression.”

Keith didn’t say anything for a while and chewed on his lower lip. “Is it really that bad? I mean… I haven’t noticed anything and finals are just around the corner right?” He thought back to the few times he’d seen Lance. He had always looked cheery and well… relaxed.

Hunk seemed to be pondering over his answer for a while. That’s when they heard the door behind them open slowly and Lance and Pidge slipped back into the room, Pidge holding a coffee cup in each hand. Hunk leaned over a bit and whispered just before the other two sat down. “Look at his eyes, he thinks we don’t notice…”

Keith had no idea what he meant by that and was staring at a spot on the floor absently when Lance waved his hand in front of his face to get him out of his trance. “Keith, buddy, my man. They’re about to start, don’t pass out on me now!”

Keith blushed a little and sat up straighter. “Yeah, sorry. Not passing out. Now, let’s see your space magic thing. Hope it’s as good as you made it sound.”

The boy next to him grinned from ear to ear. “Better.”

The crowd around them applauded loudly. Apparently the speech part was over and somebody dimmed the lights, making everyone go silent. It was now completely dark in the hall. Keith could feel his palms getting sweaty. Why was this taking so long? He swallowed hard.

He whispered, almost inaudible “Lance?” but in this exact moment they turned on the projectors and surprised ahhhhs and ohhhs could be heard through the entire room.

Keith threw his head back so quickly he almost hit it on his seat’s backrest.

Lance’s words hadn’t prepared him for what he was seeing now at all. It was truly just… beautiful. Thousands of little stars were dancing on the ceiling and the floor and just everywhere. He knew he was sitting in a boring lecture hall and he felt incredibly stupid for even thinking so but for a moment he really felt like he was in space. His heartbeat sped up and his eyes wander around the entire room so quickly he was almost getting sick.

Keith was trying to take it all in before it stopped. The stars danced around his fingertips as he raised his hand in front of his face and watched. He wasn’t even questioning how the whole thing worked it was just too… too everything. In a good way.

“Sooo, did I promise too much?” Lance suddenly whispered next to his ear.

Keith just shook his head and then turned it to smile at him. “No, you didn’t. This is great! Thanks for inviting me to this.” Lance smiled at him and then quickly turned his head to the ceiling again. Neither of them mentioned that it had actually been Hunk who invited Keith.

Keith was still staring at Lance’s face from the corner of his eyes, watching the stars being projected onto his skin and their reflections in his eyes. He looked so beautiful like this, it made Keith’s head spin. He wanted to say something, to tell Lance how pretty he was but he bit his tongue instead. Just friends he reminded himself.

That’s when he remembered Hunk’s words from earlier and looked at Lance’s eyes more closely. What was he supposed to see? The long eyelashes? The small freckles underneath them? The well blended but thick layer of… concealer? Something clicked in his brain. Hunk had mentioned that Lance wasn’t sleeping enough and pushing too hard. Of course he and many others were unable to tell if they didn’t know what to look for. Lance had covered up his dark circles almost perfectly. Almost… Keith turned his gaze to the ceiling again and frowned. Why was he pretending to be fine? It was normal to be tired around finals wasn’t it? Why was he trying to hide it?

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we have to end this now since our time is up,” a voice sounded from the front of the room. “Thank you all for coming and enjoy the rest of your day on campus.” They turned off the projectors and disappointment could be heard all around. Some classical song started to play and people started to shift but the lights were still out. Keith dug his nails into his palm and tried to breathe evenly. It’s fine, he tried to tell himself. They’re gonna turn them back on every second. Only they didn’t.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we’re having some trouble back here. We’re sure everything will be fixed soon,” the voice echoed again. “Always a bit hard to find the light switch in the dark.” The voice said and gave a fake laugh. Some parents laughed as well. Keith didn’t. He gulped and pressed deeper into his seat.

He could feel Lance stir in the dark next to him and a hand touching his shoulder. “Keith? Are you okay?” Before Keith could even think of something to respond with the lights were finally turned back on. Keith let out a very deep breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding until now. He quickly unclenched his hands and turned his head to give Lance a small smile.

“All good, yes. I’m a bit sad it was over so quickly though.”

Lance looked at him questioningly for a second longer before he returned the smile. “Right? I wish they would do this more often!”

The group got up and headed out before the mass of people in the hall could block the aisles. The bright sunlight blinded Keith for a moment when they walked outside and he held up his helmet to shield his eyes. Someone walked into him from behind and he quickly turned around to apologize for stopping in the doorway but it was Lance he was looking at. An elderly woman complained about them being in her way and they stepped aside and walked a few feet to get away from the mass.

“Sorry for bumping into you,” Lance started, “It’s just,” he pointed at the helmet in Keith’s hand. “I didn’t notice before because I was so excited about the star thing but… did you bring your bike?” Hunk listened to their conversation and laughed looking at Lance now. Keith didn’t exactly understand what he thought was so funny and turned to Pidge for help but they were just quietly smiling at the whole scene.

“Ummm, yes? It’s how I got here. I don’t have a car, soo…” Keith shrugged a little lost.

“Awesome! I mean great. I mean...,” Lance scratched his head. “Can I see it?”

“Uhh, sure. I parked right over there.” Keith pointed over his shoulder. Lance didn’t even wait for the others. He was already on his way to the parking lot, almost running. When the others caught up with him he was inspecting Keith’s bike and admiring the details of the machine by almost touching it with his nose.

Hunk and Pidge seemed kind of impressed too and Hunk slapped Keith’s shoulder. “Sweet ride, Keith!” He joined Lance in walking around the bike to get a better look. “Lance mentioned you work at a workshop. Did you build this yourself?”

Keith nodded and then realised that Hunk wasn’t looking at him so he couldn’t see. “Yah, I did. It was the first project I did without Shiro’s help. Took me a while to find all the parts. I could get a better bike if I wanted but I’m kind of sentimental I guess.”

Lance nodded. “No I get it. It’s a bit like it’s your child, right? I mean… you made her.”

Keith smiled. “Yeah. I guess.”

Pidge gave a fake cough to get everyone’s attention and pointed at the bike. “If you’re finished drooling over that can we go get some food please?”

“That?” Keith repeated in a fake hurt tone.

“They’re secretly loving this more than Lance and me. You should see the stuff they build. We should visit you at your shop and just leave Pidge there for a few hours. They’d have the time of their life.” Hunk chuckled at the expression on Pidge’s face after his revelation.

“Speaking of food though,” Lance looked at Keith and tilted his head, “We thought about grabbing a bite at Planet Altea. You in?”

Keith considered for a moment. He could spend some more time with them and get to know them better. He probably should. Shiro would tell him to… but he also really wanted to go home. The light incident had seriously freaked him out even if he didn’t want to show it. He’d rather calm down at home, alone, where he could stop pretending and no one would see what a mess he really was after such a small thing.

“Sorry, I need to leave. Shiro wants to visit an old friend of his and he’s dragging me along.” Lie. Shiro never dragged him anywhere Keith didn’t want to go. Apart of from that Shiro wasn’t even home right now.

Lance chewed his lower lip. “Ohh. Okay. We’ll text then?” The disappointed look on his face made Keith feel bad instantly.

“Yes definitely. It was really great. Thank you all for taking me.” Let me leave let me go.

Pidge and Hunk said goodbye and they watched Keith take off quickly. Lance waved one last time before he was out of sight, but Keith didn’t turn around to see it.

Usually driving calmed him down but he felt himself get more anxious with every mile. He was glad he could finally take off the helmet when he arrived at his and Shiro’s place because he could breathe more freely instantly. He put the bike in the garage, unlocked the front door and took the elevator up to their floor. After hastily unlocking the front door and locking it after himself again, he immediately kicked off his boots and headed for his bedroom.

He’d learned a few breathing techniques during his never ending counseling sessions and was really glad about that right now. After some minutes of leaning against his door he got his breathing under control. His thoughts however where still spinning, so he put his favourite playlist on shuffle and flopped down on his bed.

After a couple of songs Keith took out his phone to ask Shiro when he would be home and noticed he had gotten a few messages.

(2:17pm): Hey, u ok?

(2:18pm): Getting kind of an anxious vibe over here?!

(2:20): Also thats an awful lot of emo music for someone who insists hes not emo ;)

Shit. Sometimes he forgot the soulmate connection was a thing.

(2:33pm): Sorry! Yes I’m good

There was an immediate response.

(2:33pm): U sure? Doesnt feel like it

(2:35pm): Idk

(2:36pm): Maybe not

(2:36pm): do you wanna talk? I can call u

Keith’s whole body tensed. Was he ready for that? Should he lie, maybe say he was tired and wanted to nap or something? Should he tell the truth? He frowned.

(2:37pm): I’m not… good at phone calls

(2:37pm): Np u can just listen and I’ll do the talkin

(2:39pm): that’d be ok?

Keith swallowed. Shiro probably wouldn’t be home for a while and he really needed to talk to someone. The question was if Lance was safe to talk to? Would it overstep the friendship line? Why could things never be easy…

(2:42pm): yes, ok

[Incoming call: Lance McClain]

More author’s notes:

This fic on AO3

Yeah after 500 years I finally updated. I could explain at length why it took my so long but it comes down to this: I was stressed, I was depressed, I’m sorry but now it’s finally here! Hooray!

As always a big THANK YOU to @alteanmoonchild for being my beta and for reading every new draft and honestly telling me when what I wrote isn’t good so I can improve and grow. I love us working together on this <3

Thank you to all of you for reading! If you have any questions or feedback send me an ask or dm me <3

Me an my friends finally cosplayed Voltron so if you wanna see me as Shiro and my awesome friends as Keith, Lance and Coran head over to my instagram.

Do you know what keeps me motivated when I so often doubt my writing and don’t know how to continue? Getting feedback! So please reblog, like, comment or even draw fanart. Whenever I read an “I love this” comment it makes me incredible happy! Also one of my goals is to someday have someone draw fanart for something wrote soo... if you wanna do that I’ll love you. Also please tag me if you do.

If you want me to tag you in the next part when I post it, just send me an ask saying so and I’ll add you to the taglist.

taglist: @alyy--caticus @princealektheorange @an-important-nobody @teddyorionpotter @spookyscaryshitstorm @ladythugs @positevelybakerstreet @meganmoo02 @atomicengineerdetective @jishwadun-is-jishwafun @anemoee

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