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#count of monte cristo
danihelman-does-stuff · 2 hours ago
i dreamt yesterday that gankutsuou (and or the count of monte cristo but mostly gankutsuou) was adapted by the cw riverdale style. 
and then i started thinking about what that very very cursed idea will entail
- every main and important character is young and fuckable. this means that the count will look much more young adult ish and the young teenage characters would probably look more aged up for the sake of it
- Albert and the rest of the teens will be more broody 
-Franz is the jughead and also has feelings for eugenie. its a bad bad love triangle
- Eugenie becomes a veronica- ish girl-boss and a lot of her vulnerability is flawed
-there’ll be a lot more sex scenes in order to titlate the audience. all of them played to corny and unsubtle pop songs.
-in general the songs would be a lot more poppy and unsubtle. gone is the iconic soundtrack of the series
- peppo will get an issue episode about how she’s having troubles fitting in and being trans and the cis characters validate her. it is the only time her identity is brought up.
- fernand, villefort and danglars will lose a lot of their dimension and will be cartoonishly evil (even more than danglars)
- beauchamp and debres will become super heterosexual. in general the characters will lose the queer appeal the show has.
- they handle the incestual elements in a more titalating and less horrifying way unlike the show.
please add more to this list let’s make things worse 
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ponds-of-ink · 4 hours ago
Reverse Danglars when he has a crush: oh no.
Reverse Danglars when he realizes someone has a crush on him: all right but... why?
Reverse Danglars if both happen at once...
His head would be buried into his ink-stained hands, that’s what. The urge to not emit Fluttershy-like panic noises would be strong. This man, who may not have had this much attention drawn to him before, is now the person someone thinks about often. The same person who he admires, no less. And that’s why he’d be so nervous.
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frosted-firefly · 4 hours ago
'Ello, friends! I made this :]
It's just a little lip-sync practice of Danglars, with some audio from Skyrim. Hope you enjoy this tiny scrap of content, lol!
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gankutsuou-zine · a day ago
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Mesdames, messieurs, distingués invités, bonsoir. 
A new day and a new gift to share with you all. Rest assured, the complete zine will be composed of more than just portraits. 
Bide your time and hold out hope.
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"I know perfectly well that you are innocent. Why else would you be here? If you were truly guilty, there are a hundred prisons in France where they would lock you away, but Chateau d'If is where they put the ones they're ashamed of."
Recently, I heard about an LDS activist (a sex therapist doing great work to heal trauma among Mormons) being called in for a disciplinary council, i.e. the meeting where a bunch of high-ranking Mormon men decide whether to excommunicate or otherwise punish a church member who is not compliant in some way with the mainstream church.
It made me think about this scene from The Count of Monte Cristo.
If you stop believing in Mormonism, stop attending church, completely change your lifestyle, and never look back, the church will not bother to discipline you. But if you name the church by publicly calling out its abuse, if you publicly help others confront this abuse, in other words if you make the church feel embarrassed, you will be punished. They will disown you because they are ashamed of you.
How Christlike.
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theatroid · 3 days ago
Give Me U Phone
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littlephoenixrising · 3 days ago
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I knew he was religious and somewhat conservative, but i didn’t know he was that fucking crazy. I am so disappointed.
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anarchonecromancy · 5 days ago
i read the count of monte cristo over the past week and uhh....idk maybe dantes should have just shot those dudes instead of spending 117 chapters driving them insane. it didnt have to be that long
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fiftyshadesoffrain · 5 days ago
So sad to hear of the passing of the mighty Helen McCrory, who played Mme Villefort opposite James in Count of Monte Christo
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I wish I'd get high at least once in my past life. Imagine how easy things would go:
Valentine : father I know you're gonna be mad but I love Max!
Villefort, inhaling Stuff™: okay, good luck with your new husband
Val: father!.. are you sure?
Villefort: yeah
Val: why are your eyes red?
Villefort, exhaling smoke: tears of joy
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gatorskulls · 5 days ago
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“Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next.” -Alexander Dumas
[ID: A digital painting of Edmond Dantes from the 2002 film adaptation of The Count of Monte Cristo. He has brown hair and a short mustache and beard. He wearing a burgundy red coat with an ornate scarf.]
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pagesofkenna · 6 days ago
Monte Cristo kids ages (as best as I can tell)
Albert: no older that 23, I would guess more around 19/20
Valentine: the wiki page says she 19, which sounds right
Chateau-Renaud: the chapter I just read says he's 30, which seems a little old to be one of Albert's closest friends? shrug
Franz: I'm guessing around 23-28, older than Albert but not so old it's weird he's not married and settled down
Beauchamp: same as above, though he might be as young as Albert
Eugenie: probably around 17-19, betrothing age
Lucien: I always assumed he was older than the rest, to have such an important job, so 28-35 or so?
(honorable mention to Edouard, who I believe is like 5-8)
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