#i feel so shit and i feel so guilty

[npdlangley]

i love dating sims but i always feel so shit afterwards. i will never love like this.

#txt #sory im going throufh it #the ar.omantic curses #i feel so shit and i feel so guilty #gmfnmnmgfng #ilove them but ijust feel bad #i cant be what people want me to be #its so silly to be upset over this #sometimes i hate being ar.omantic #all i have is this stupid disorder that makes me form intense random attachments at random times for godknows how long nd then i just feel #like my heart was ripped out of my fucking chest

[insignificantfailure]

im so fucking useless

#all I do is consume without contributing anything to society #i feel so guilty for eating breathing taking up space buying things producing trash wasting people's time and energy #literally my existence has no meaning #why am i alive #literally w.o.r.t.h.l.e.s.s. #tw depressive #tw depressing thoughts #tw depression #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #im exhausted #i hate everything #i hate my self #more than anyone else #i dread having to exist #self h@te #i'm sad #mentally tired #vent #venting #personal

[wildernessuntothemselves]

My family is dead. They’ve been bombed. 1 uncle, 2 aunts, five or more of their children, one of them newly graduated and newly wed with her baby. She was visting her mother. Her previous house had been bombed. Death followed her.

My uncle wanted to bring his family to visit Egypt. They were looking at places to rent. But for some reason or another it didn't go through. I will never again play a game of Remy with him. He will never tease me for being quiet. His daughter whose dream was to live in Egypt now lay torn to shreds.

Such a simple dream. Egypt? The country I escaped? That was salvation to them. Days before he died my uncle was asking my mother to put his family's names on the list to pass the border into Egypt. But they're not letting Palestinians pass, only foreigns.

Three of my family survived. They watched their parents, their sisters, torn to shreds. They can't even identify the bodies. One only recognized his sister by her Abbaya.

And none of it matters. Nothing will change. Israel will still win because at the end of the day it's not about humanity or loss of life or justice. It's all about money and power and Israel has all and Palestine has none.

The dead will be forgotten by the world and nothing will change.

#i feel like shit #i feel so guilty #i never reached out to them #never told them i'm thinking of them #never told them i loved them #all they'll remember of me is how I once defended israel as a teenager when I visited them in their colonized land years ago #free palestine

[turquoisemagpie]

Appreciate the little things.

Not to ignorantly deny all of the big bad things in the world, but to survive them.

#magpie ramblings #there's so much shit going on that it gets overwhelming #and it's sad that we've made ourselves feel guilty for looking away when it's too painful to watch #but we literally CAN'T survive if we keep dwelling on the unfairness of the world #and the more you ask why can't this happen or why is that happening #the quicker it is to just ask 'why do anything at all?' ... the answer is simple #'just because' #so fuck it #i'm going to appreciate a short video of someone drawing a cat; just because #i'm going to read a book about a long lost culture and history; just because #i'm going to post personal book reviews of books hardly anyone has heard of; just because #i'm going to be thankful that my indoor plants have been doing well; just because #i'm going to let someone make a decision i don't agree with and not confront them; just because #i'm going to spend the little of my own money helping maybe just one other person in the world; just because #i'm going to be kind to those who haven't treated me kindly; just because #i'm going to smile regardless of the unjust in this world; just because

[conanssummerchild]

ok but like what if abed was just a little more on edge around troy than the rest of the study group at first before they started becoming actually friends and troy didnt know why it was until later seasons when abed starts dropping casual hints about getting bullied in high school and getting put in lockers and stuff and troy realises abeds caution had been because troy reminded him of the people that made fun of him in high school and he was scared he would make fun of him too, what then?

#ive been thinking #thoughts #he would feel guilty :( #remember the person he used to be #idk #im shitting myself i feel so out of place in this fandom what am i even doing #its scary bcs ive spent 3 years intergrating myself into the byler fandom #and now i have to figure out how the trobed one works #not that im leaving the first one but #yk #someone mentor me 😭 #take me under ur wing...er #ok stop #abed nadir #troy barnes #troy and abed #trobed #autistic abed nadir #bi abed nadir #gay troy barnes #nbc community #community

[uncanny-tranny]

Genuinely, doing things "half-assed" or for a short period of time is generally better than never having done it in the first place.

Writing one sentence is better than none. A minute of brushing your teeth is better than zero minutes. Answering two questions for a homework assignment is better than answering none.

The overwhelming mountain of things can be done peacemeal. You do not have to do it all at once. It is okay to take life in whatever amount you can. The point is to allow yourself the grace to be.

#positivity #encouragement #writing this partially for myself because i have been struck with a sudden greif because i haven't written anything #and it's made me feel guilty that i've been to unwell to feel able to write anything complex #but it's like... why should i expect myself to write well or at *all* #i am allowed to feel grief that i'm not writing something special to me but that grief isn't a weapon #and bludgeoning myself with grief won't make me pick up a pen #if the mountain is too high above you then focus on the molehill in front of you <3 #somewhat inspired by the Abandoning Hobbies post #the whole 'the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. the second best time is now' quote needs to be burnt into me #oh shit it's so late now. the first best time to be asleep was at 23:00 but i guess the second best is uhh now

[stuckinapril]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

#And to be clear I have nothing against therapy. I’ve seen it do wonders for other people #I think the reason it’s a point of defeat (just a little) for me to be like ok. I need a therapist. Is bc I’m admitting to myself that I #need one to begin w. And I get it’s not healthy but I always liked to think I could handle anything by myself #That was even the whole point of this blog. It was supposed to serve as a conduit for these feelings #And I’m not saying I don’t have a support system. I do. I have many wonderful friends #But I struggle to be vulnerable at all tbh and whenever I am I’m guilty ab it bc #I understand so many people have busy lives & I feel like an emotional burden on them by venting #Despite them telling me that it’s totally fine. Obvi a therapist is literally paid to listen so no guilt there #And I think that’s what I need #I’m not like on the brink of a psychotic break or anything but it’s just little things. I think it’d be nice to sit in someone’s office for #One hour a week and just go. That did bother me actually. I am tired actually. I do feel that way actually. #Rather than just burying my feelings w school and a busy schedule #I don’t think therapy will make me any less of a workaholic anytime soon but it’ll at least allow me to slow down one hour a week #And also not bottle shit up so fuckin much #But ya all of this is to say I’m drafting the email to her RIGHT now . #Starting the day off strong by oversharing on tumblr dot com

[money-and-dandellions]

adding on the silly headcanon, Lester has permanent tremor in his hands which gets worse when he is stressed

he is stressed most of the time, which makes it even harder to do anything

it gets so much worse at night because he can't hold a shit and he can't control it at all and they just shake and hurt a little, aching

#lester papadopoulos #toa #i have so many hcs about his issues #meg would notice #and get him some sort of a fidget thing at the next stop #(and then understand that it doesn't really help and feel a little guilty because she just spent essetial money on shit that was useless) #lester would smile and do not have courage to tell that the thing not only useless but also worsens the situation a little #but he would be so grateful that someone cares and tries to do something #meg mccaffrey #sunflower siblings

[olskuvallanpoe]

Bitches be like “I don’t have time for this” when “this” is literally unavoidable symptoms of debilitating chronic illness, but will say yes to every single optional task literally anyone asks them to do (regardless of whether they’ll even be able to physically do it at all) bc they’ll feel guilty otherwise

…it’s me. I’m bitches

#chronically ill #physically disabled #disability shit #actually disabled #it’s getting ✨worse✨ team #I’d rather not shower than not do that random thing a stranger asked me to do for them #high empathy #sadly #why do i feel so guilty for existing at all #i feel like a burden #but this shit is the real burden bc I have shit to DO

[helmarok]

romeo roleplaying as his favorite OC to beat the shit out of his other OC who he hates very much

#ganon draws #minecraft #mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm romeo #mcsm petra #i wanted to make them look more monstrous and reflect what my romeo design looks like lol #so here is this beast #and romeo is getting really into it but also hes projecting #hes yelling at jesse like he did fred #which is kind of why he hates jesse so much. he reminds him of the friend he killed and hes salty about feeling guilt #and he likes petra because she reminds him of himself in a way and he feels less guilty about everything #when he sees that oh well they did abandon me just like this #and he tries to get petra to feel the same as his champion #tries to get her to give up on jesse and be resentful just like him #and he has petra fight jesse to the death assuming she would actually do it just like him #ok ermmm the shit i have for this is too much to fit in tags but anyways. romeo is actually the worst

[y-rhywbeth2]

Astarion: "Do you have a moment? I think we need to talk." PC: "Are you all right?" Astarion: "Oh yes, I'm fine. I just-... feel awful."

Ah. This part of the playthrough. Whenever I get to this conversation I always have to wonder what it's been like inside Astarion's head building up to this conversation? How to secure your safety in three easy steps, according to Astarion Ancunín:

Manipulate a person into a fake relationship with you .

Feel really guilty about it because it turns out you genuinely like this idiot. You didn't even know you could feel guilt anymore. What the fuck.

Confess to them, obviously not far from the verge of tears sounding like you're not far off from a nervous breakdown because you have no idea what the fuck to do, but you can't keep doing this because, as per the quote, you feel awful.

#“I have a cunning plan!” #The man cannot plan for shit but it usually works out for him in ways he didn't expect at least #He doesn't need to feel so guilty in this case because this relationship was built on extremely similar manipulation going both ways #Both these idiots caught feelings #Vel was more passive though. Astarion came in with blatant manipulation attempts and Vel rolled with it because it was *something* he- #-could use to hold the guy's “loyalty” #It's about to get much better for Astarion and much worse for Vel #babbling #playthrough shenanigans #/astarion #petty murder boyfriends

[blueseynch]

my @infamous-if oc :’) their name is jaya. they always look like a wet cat in a cardboard box (pathetic)

every time seven is mean to them an angel dies btw

#infamous if #infamous #they still love seven so much. their one and only pookie #seven: i hate u and u suck btw jaya: 🥺 ok everyone in their band: pls u need to grow a spine #i know seven feels sooo guilty every time he says some dumb shit #my art

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

*Look at that one ghost pregnancy carving meme*

Sure, they're normal pregnancy carving... And then they're weird ones. Like, yes, he can't eat a batarang, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to.

Have a little crack I guess! Also bonus point if it's angst for the others batfam members

Angst, you say?

Jason came out of a daze to the sound of broken glass.

Why was he in Tim’s room? He remembers getting up to look in the kitchen. Nothing was appealing at the moment but he was hungry and Dr. Leslie mentioned he was a little below weight.

He was looking and nothing was appealing but then he felt a pull and-

“Jason, what the fuck.”

Tim looked disheveled, clearly back from his patrol.

Why was he freaking out? Sure, Tim finding him here was strange but-

Jason was suddenly aware of something papery in his mouth.

“Wha-?”

“Jason why?”

Tim looked like he had shot him, and as Jason looked around him he realized that he may as well.

Around him laid a shredded old box.

Tim’s old photo box.

He remembers when he was first reached out to his family again after the mess of reintroduction.

The olive branch Tim held out to him. The night they sat in the lounge as Tim shyly showed him the years of photos. They were up until dawn reminiscing. It was the first time he started to think of the two of them as brothers.

They weren’t all ruined but quite a few had obvious teeth marks and tears.

Shit.

“I-I don’t- fuck! Baby bird I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember..”

Jason raised a frustrated palm to his eyes at tears started to pool.

Fuck, Tim was shutting down.

“It’s- it’s fine, I was in the middle of digitizing the photos anyways. Never know what will happen, you know?”

Jason removed the photo from his mouth and tried to flatten it out what was left. It was one of the one’d around his debut as Robin, sitting on a gargoyle under a moonlit sky.

Jason gently got off his knees with a wobble before he gently took his brother into his arms.

“I-I already got most of them taken care of.. It’s fine.. you didn’t- the baby been doing a lot of strange things to you. You nearly bit a batarang last week- it’s not- something like this was bound to happen and-“

Tim made a keening he folded himself into Jason’s side.

Looking around at the carnage as Jason tried his best to comfort his brother as he wailed.

“This shouldn’t’ve happened. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

He muttered as he rubbed up and down Tim’s back.

“Okay… Okay.. How about we go downstairs huh? We can go downstairs, and I’ll make us some hot chocolate ‘n’ we can put on one of those shitty b-rated horror movies we love to roast.”

Avoiding what Jason could only assume was a cup of coffee on the floor, he closed the door and gently guided his little brother down the hall.

Tags for hoodlums:

@numbuh-7-knd @phoenixdemonqueen @thegatorsgoose @storm-and-fire @elvesandlanterns @moedango @skulld3mort-1fan @apointlessbox @samgirl98 @thedragonqueen1998 @booberrylizard @idek618 @littlefeather345 @iosonotoro @dxrksong @moonfirearc @terzatheunderscorerima @moedango

#Jason after he gets Dick to clean up the mess in Tim’s room has a mental freak out once Tim is settled to sleep #he feels so guilty #he ends up badgering clockwork to help him get copies of all the originals #dp x dc #writing prompt #dc x dp #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #mother hood au #you asked for angst #if you hadn’t I would’ve shit posted #me: hmm what would be heart wrenching and hard to replace? #originally I was going to have Jason eat Damian’s art supplies #but then a old john mulaney quote came to me #it’s the one thing you can’t replace #my asks #mpreg

[telffiin]

words cannot describe how over i am the whole early days tim vs damian feud. i don't fucking care. I DON'T CARE!!! IT'S SO BORING!!! can we please move on. write something else. something more interesting maybe? something that doesn't cause tim to be woobified by fandom even more than he already is, perhaps? i mean. i really don't care about him as a charater, but come onnn!!! LET IT GO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

#i roll my eyes so hard whenever this shit is a significant thing in a fic or whatever #ESPECIALLY if it's just. damian angsting how guilty and sad he feels about it and tim being like traumatized over it or whatever #even worse when it's portrayed as a one-sided thing. EXCUSE ME??? #idk why i keep expecting fic authors to have actually read the comics/arcs they're writing about #dc #damian wayne #tim drake #anti batfanon #batfam fandom #batfam negative #batfam critical #anti tim drake #<- i mean i don't think it really applies but whatever. gotta cover all my bases

[zeb-z]

missa, after his self resentment and lamenting about how he doesn’t feel worthy or like he should be accepted, after telling himself and the capybaras that he doesn’t have a home, not really - after all is said and done, he returns to phil & missa, leaving his mini mi in the house on the wall. as if he’d consider anywhere other than the house he shared with phil safe enough. seeking out safety and home brought him right back where he started.

something about how despite his internal conflicts and issues about what he thinks he deserves, he’ll still come back. and for all he worries that he is not enough to be loved in return, his name is still on the warp stone.

#he’s got issues out the ass of his self worth and it’s like. yeah shit man you haven’t been reliable but you’re not unloveable #he wants to be better and he tries and he cares the issue is he holds the rest of his family on such a pedestal #this shame and guilt bubbles up and is only made worse when he isn’t rejected or hated like he’s expecting. he’s taken back with open arms #so he follows phil for guidance as to what’s acceptable. without phil there how can he know if it’s ok for him to stay in their home? #as if he didn’t also build their home yknow #but even when all is said and done he returns. even if it makes him feel guilty even if he thinks he doesn’t deserve it #because as much as he doesn’t want to be a bother he wants to be better most of all. wants to be present #I just don’t think he ever expects to be wanted to keep around. like he wants to prove himself and he’s expecting his loved ones to reject #any sort of redemption. meanwhile they don’t see the need for a redemption in the first place #shaking missa you wet cat of a man you dense self sabatoging silly silly man #stop your hero worship. own up and show up. and let your family love you because my god you are so loved #sorry tags got away from me it’s like 5 am and I’m like ahfhhrhfhshfhhs #mcyt #qsmp #q!missa #missasinfonia #z speaks

[absurdumsid]

yall im sobbing ?? a girl asked me out to prom but i alr asked my crush please what the fuck wha thwyagbdbfnd

#im SOBBING i feel so GUILTY #<- im sorry im so sorry #sid rambles #holy SHIT man #should this be on the crushes tag #ill put it on the crushes tag #sorry for pining on main #MAN what the FUCK #holy SHIT #the flower from valentines day makes so much sense now #god. damn. im so stupid #<- i dont mind though im. im not rlly the type of person to want their love reciprocated #<- so ppl liking me. is kinda. ehh its ok but im just really fucking surprised #<- lithromantic ass LMAOO