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comfortbucky · 3 years

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I asked for the doctor!bucky andd you don't have to write but I forgot to ask... He is like a really busy doctor and it surprises the female reader that he is going to do her stitches... Wanda is his assistant. He has to give you a pain numbing shot in your cut and he comforts you when you scream and writh in pain... Thanks xxx

𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗯 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆｡˚

pairing: doctor!bucky x fem!reader

warnings: descriptions of bloody injuries, medical settings, stitches, needles

A/N: omg i’ve never written for doctor!bucky before so i’m excited hehe :) thank u for ur request! // i changed around who was administering the numbing agent and doing the stitches btw i hope u don't mind, just made more sense in my head for bucky to be able to comfort her if his hands are free!

hope u enjoy! <3 sorry if this isn't that good asjdfhaldf

Y/L/N = your last name

also let me just indulge myself and sprinkle some of my own experiences in this bc a couple months ago i literally slammed my head into a wall and cut my eyelid😃nothing bad enough to get stitches but i do have a scar💗

word count: 2k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

“Y/N! Come quick!”

Y/N was digging through her dresser for a sweater when her roommate, Darcy, called out for her. She lifted her head up and spun it without thinking, completely forgetting that her dresser was situated in the corner of her room, slamming her head into the wall.

Her ears started to ring and she bent over in laughter, her natural response to pain, as tears threatened to fall down her face.

“Y/N?” Darcy was met by silence, Y/N struggling to respond, her body overcome with laughter so hard she was inaudible. Concerned that Y/N had knocked herself out cold, Darcy peeked her head around the corner of Y/N’s doorway, to find her hurled over, a hand over her left eye, drops of crimson blood on the ground.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” Y/N lifted her head, calming down from her fit of laughter, and nodded.

“Yeah, of course, this would happen to me,” she replied chuckling, taking a tissue from Darcy to put pressure on her cut.

Carefully making her way to a mirror, Y/N grabbed her phone on the way. She stared at her reflection and slowly removed the tissue from her face to examine the extent of her injury. It was steadily bleeding, most likely a bad sign. Y/N placed her tissue back over her cut and reached for her phone and Facetimed her friend Matt, an EMT.

“Hello- What the fuck happened to you?”

“Hi Matt,” she replied, shooting him a grin through the screen. “Slammed my head against the wall, by accident.”

“I would hope so,” he sighed. “Let me guess, you’re wondering whether you should go to the ER or not?”

“You know me so well, Matty.”

“Has it stopped bleeding?” Y/N removed the tissue and felt a warm liquid trail down the side of her face.

“No.”

“Go to the ER, please.” She groaned.

If there was one place in the world she despised, it was a hospital. But Y/N knew she wouldn’t be able to convince either of her friends otherwise, and dragged her feet as she reluctantly followed Darcy to her car.

It was a normal night in the ER, which meant a fury of organized chaos. Bucky found himself needed in 6 places, all at the same time. But this was an environment that he had become accustomed to, almost finding comfort in the madness of it all. Although the ER was bustling with patients, there weren’t any injuries that were very severe, mostly just broken bones and lacerations. Simple enough to the point where Bucky felt like he was operating on autopilot mode. Going through the motions of whatever task he needed to do, but not anything more than that. He felt numb. For the last several years of his life, the hospital was all that he knew. Bucky kept himself busy with work, leaving him with only a small social circle and his cat, Alpine. It was enough for him, but he never really felt complete. Which is why he threw himself into his work, drowning out his inner thoughts about a missing piece he never thought he’d find.

“Dr. Barnes, paging Dr. Barnes to bed 25.”

Bucky took a quick sip of his coffee and sighed before heading off to see his next patient. Wanda appeared from around the corner and started walking with him.

“This one’s a simple laceration, just might need stitches.” Bucky nodded in response to her, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

She was one of the select few who he considered a friend. Which was a little odd considering he was an attending and she was only a resident. But she was a good student, a fast learner, and one of the only residents he was ever willing to work with. He took her under his wing, fostering a friendship by spending time together in his office, reviewing various medical cases and files.

“Alright, you up to do them?”

Wanda came to a halt, Bucky taking a couple steps before looking back at her, tilting his head, waiting for a response.

“Y-Yeah, yes!” She stammered. “T-thank you, Dr. Barnes.” He nodded his head and turned back around to continue walking, Wanda close behind.

Y/N was sat on the edge of the bed, one hand holding a blood-soaked tissue over her left eye. Her leg was bouncing, a nervous tic she had developed from a young age. The adrenaline had worn off, forcing her to feel a throbbing pain, her eyes brimming with tears. She avoided crying in front of people whenever possible, so as soon as Darcy left to grab some coffee and snacks from the cafeteria, she let the floodgates open. The sound of footsteps approaching made her freeze and she used her sleeves to sloppily wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face.

“Ms. Y/L/N?”

A firm, but somehow also gentle, voice called out to her before the curtain was pulled open to reveal a tall man with dark brown hair, a stubbly beard, and stunningly blue eyes standing next to a woman with blazing red hair and contrasting green eyes. Y/N’s gaze was immediately fixated on the man’s eyes, unable to look away for a moment, before she realized she was staring. She quickly looked down and cleared her throat.

“Y/N, you can just call me Y/N.”

The man nodded and set down his clipboard at the end of the bed before speaking.

“I’m Dr. Barnes and this is Dr. Maximoff.” The woman gave a slight wave as she began charting on a computer. “Can I take a look at your eye?”

Y/N nodded, feeling her anxiety rise as the doctor pulled some gloves on and approached her.

He pulled over a stool to sit on and carefully removed the tissue that Y/N had been holding in place to assess the injury. While Bucky looked at her cut, he stole a glance to study the rest of her face. He couldn't help but take note of the pained look on her face, her eyes still watery and her button nose red from crying. It was the first time in a long time that he felt a twinge of pain while looking at someone's injury, that he felt practically anything at all during a shift. She felt his warm breaths on her face for a moment before he pulled away and replaced her bloody tissue with some gauze.

“Do you mind if she takes a look as well?” Y/N nodded again. Bucky got up from the stool, allowing Wanda to take his spot and assess her eye.

“So it looks like you just need 2 or 3 stitches, very simple procedure.”

Y/N felt her entire body tense up at Wanda's conclusion. She could barely stand sitting in a hospital bed alone and now she was about to get poked and prodded with needles. Bucky noticed and attempted to ease her worries.

"We'll administer a numbing agent, so you won't feel any pain, just pressure at the site."

She looked up at Bucky, who had a kind, tired expression on his face. It looked like he was having a long night and she didn't want to make his job any more difficult than it probably already was. Y/N gave him a small nod and Wanda started to gather the necessary supplies.

She laid back in bed with Wanda and Bucky sitting next to each other on her left. Her hands were folded on her stomach, eyes shut.

"You're gonna feel a slight pinch, okay?" She nodded and bit her lip to try and distract herself.

Wanda proceeded to administer the numbing shot and Y/N squeezed her hands tight, whimpering in pain. Bucky observed the pained expression on her face and placed a hand on her forearm, reflexively rubbing his thumb in small circles. When Wanda pulled the needle out, Y/N slowly fluttered her eyes open and was greeted by Bucky's warm smile. A blush crept to her cheeks and she turned her attention to the ceiling. Immediately, Bucky realized how unprofessional his action was and removed his hand. He had no idea what had come over him, but he'd never felt so drawn to someone like this before.

"Now I'm going to do the stitches, okay? You should just feel a slight pressure." Just as before, Y/N shut her eyes after Wanda spoke and gripped her hands tight. She felt the pressure that Wanda was talking about and couldn't help but squirm at the feeling. Another wave of anxiety rushed over her and she felt herself start to hyperventilate.

Wanda removed the needle and quickly turned to Bucky, a panicked look on her face. He gave her a reassuring look before speaking softly.

"Y/N? Do you think you could hold still for just a little longer?" She opened her eyes, brimming with tears.

"Sorry, I just, I hate needles." Y/N fiddled with her hands as she kept her gaze up, trying to avoid the tears from escaping. Bucky felt his heart sink in his chest at the sight.

"What do you think would help you relax?"

Thoughts ran through her head as she tried to find a solution to relieve her anxiety. Y/N thought back to when she was young and chuckled, remembering a stuffed whale that she got at an aquarium, that went everywhere with her.

"This is stupid but, when I was a kid, I would carry around this stuffed animal around and it helped to hold it whenever I had to get shots."

Bucky thought for a moment and ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he was going to regret the words about to leave his mouth.

"You could hold my hand."

Y/N and Wanda both looked at him with surprised expressions, regret instantly hitting him.

"If you're comfortable with it," he quickly clarified. Y/N felt the corner of her mouth curve into a smile as she nodded.

She laid back down and Bucky took her hand in his. The instant transfer of heat soothed Y/N and she shut her eyes to allow Wanda to get to work.

When she felt the pressure on her eye again, her hand automatically gripped Bucky's tighter, and he squeezed it back to help calm her. Y/N focused on the callousness of his hands, how his hand seemed to fit into hers perfectly. Suddenly, she was thinking about his eyes again, those glimmering blue eyes. Blue was always a calming color for her, reminiscent of her trip to the aquarium where she got her beloved stuffed whale. As she felt Bucky's thumb gently rub the top of her hand, she realized that her whale could never provide as much comfort as he did.

Bucky felt a sense of pride as he watched the tension in Y/N's face disappear. Suddenly, he found his eyes wandering, looking at the loose strands of hair on the right side of her face, the rosiness of her cheeks, how she glowed. His heart started to palpate and Bucky realized a flame had kindled inside him. He was feeling again.

"All done!" Wanda chirped, stepping aside to let Bucky check her work. He smiled at her patted her on the back with his free hand.

"You did good." Wanda beamed and thanked him, walking away to complete her charting.

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, still feeling the warmth of Bucky's hand in hers. He greeted her with a tender smile and slowly helped her up, placing his other hand on the small of her back.

"See? Wasn't that bad after all," he grinned, releasing her hand. Y/N's smile faltered, missing his touch, and nodded.

"Thank you, Dr. Barnes."

"Bucky," he stated. She raised an eyebrow. "Call me Bucky."

The pair stared at each other in silence, enjoying each other's presence before the PA system snapped them both out of their trance.

"Dr. Barnes, paging Dr. Barnes to bed 16."

Bucky sighed, slowly getting up from his seat.

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Y/N."

"You too, Bucky."

He turned around and was about to pull the curtain open when he paused, turning back around to face Y/N, scratching the back of his head. It took one look at her face and Bucky knew he didn't want to let her go just yet.

"Would you like to get coffee sometime?" She beamed up at him and Bucky felt his knees go weak.

"I would like that very much." He chuckled in disbelief and smiled.

Bucky had finally found his missing piece.

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writing-for-me-at-this-point · 4 years

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iv. Relationships w/ MC | Obey Me | Actor AU

Request: Hello! I saw that your ask box is open, so I have come bearing a request. I found ur blog thru your OM actor au and I adore it to bits. Your interpretation of the characters was delightful and the gag/bloopers had me laughing so hard! May you please expand on the au by sharing your relationship headcanons of how the cast interacts or feels about MC (platonic/romantic)? I hope this finds you well 💖💖💖

Word Count: 3225 words

Page Count: 9.2 pages

A.N. Hope you guys enjoy this!

Tags: @weebartistinc

[ M A S T E R L I S T ]

Lucifer / Benjamin

The relationship between Benjamin [ Lucifer ] and MC would more like master and apprentice. Think of RDJ and Tom Holland. Ben is more lax than his show counterpart for sure. Where Lucifer would be prideful, Ben is humble, where Lucifer is smug, Ben can be self conscious. I'd like to think the MC of the "real world" thinks much more logically, doesn't throw themselves into things head first and is more calculating. Maybe something more like Satan?

Between the two of them, they are lax and playful, throwing inside jokes and playfully fighting. Ben [ Lucifer ] is like the "cool dad" that loves to mess around with his kids, which makes sense because he does have his own, they are fairly young and I can see MC babysitting in case it was needed. There's a deep trust between the two that can't really be described. Ben really wants MC to prosper in their career and will guide them- but he doesn't want to baby them either, he wants them to test the waters on their own. If they ever get overwhelmed he's there for them though.

His dumbass is forgetful to check his sugar as well, so you can catch MC helping to remind him to check it/eat/drink if needed. He didn't have the most welcoming background- he didn't have the support system a child needs, so he strives to be that and forgets to care for himself often.

"I want to give my kids everything I never had and more, just like how I want it for you too, MC."

Mammon / Avery

Avery [ Mammon ] is very business oriented and formal. MC and him would get along well, like their Obey Me counterparts, but just more lax and less chaotic. I see them as the type to go on coffee dates to catch up and get away from it all, seeing as how famous he is, he often likes to find smaller and less well known places to dwell. Enjoys the small and peaceful moments with MC and they can relate with being the most famous of the cast- so they often get treated the same.

I can see them having a deep platonic and familial connection while also being distant. Avery has trouble opening up due to being frequently used for his money, and though he and MC are on the same playing field, he has his moments where he needs to back away and recuperate. And though he is distant, if MC or himself were to ever need anything, they're at each other's beck and call. Think of the relationship as: MC is the younger sibling that was born like... 10 years after Avery and he is the older brother, they are distant at times, but still love each other deeply and fiercely.

"MC, what do you think of this new script- who is that on your page? They're liking too many pictures at once... a bit desperate- don't you think?"

Leviathan / Jackson

This one... is a little complicated. Really- he's a fuck boy and he doesn't care. I can see him as very... objectifying- and not just sexually either. He can see how to use someone to their fullest advantage, but only for his sake, just for to further himself or satisfy any needs he has. MC is a playful flirt, but once Jackson [ Leviathan ] starts to pull the moves, I can see MC pulling back quickly and isolating away from him. Until there is a serious moment where Jackson can prove that he can provide something meaningful to the relationship- it's going to remain cold and formal. MC isn't playing games.

This can be one of the few relationships that, if managed properly by MC and Jackson [ Leviathan ], can make their relationship to a more friends with benefits type or something romantic. Jackson [ Leviathan ] needs to learn how to stop seeing people as tools and more like... people. MC, in turn, would need to learn boundaries for themselves. They'd probably be so used to accepting people that keeping Jackson at a distance would be weird and almost foreign to them. If they both want things to work out for a proper, and healthy, relationship- it's going to be a lot of work.

"MC, come here, I need you for something. Hm? No, no- nothing like that. I thought maybe... we could just hang out? Normally?"

Satan / Ross

Honestly? MC could do better than Jackson [ Leviathan ] and Ross is it, babes. He is definitely the most understanding of MC and takes their own emotions into consideration. Wow kinda like Satan. He still does those live streams and gets smacked on a couple of grams, so MC is there either smoking as well or just getting hot boxed, their tiger dyed cats running everywhere. The live stream then turns into a kitten purring ASMR, then eventually, everyone is asleep on a live stream together. Ross [ Satan ], is a sweetheart as well, remembers the little things about MC and will make them special gifts or gestures for them. Is the type of boyfriend to leave random kisses on them just because.

Ross [ Satan ], also likes to talk, so he does like to pick MC's mind and see how they think- which in turn touches their heart because WOW. A guy they like isn't using them or being a general ass? He doesn't play around, so if you want a relationship prepare to be in something for the long haul, family affairs are now your business as well. He is super close with his younger brother Dmitri [ Luke ], so you need his approval as well. Ross also can help with building confidence and a stronger self image, but a major downside is that he is lazy, like, he is really fucking lazy. He's tired though, with his job, the animal shelters, watching his brother, and avoiding... them- he wants to just be a homebody. MC does a lot of home dates, but they end up very fulfilling because it's Ross, he knows how make make even the smallest moments feel like everything.

"Look at ya, MC! Damn, you always have me fallin' for ya all over again."

"I'm in sweatpants and a tanktop, babe, nothin' special."

"And you make 'em look fine as hell. Now come 'ere, let's watch a movie, look-! An MC sized space is here, right between my arms, neat right?"

Asmodeus / Micheal

He's like the best friend who acts like the wine mom. He's the wine mom. He's mom. Always come to him for help, from either something as small as a rant to larger issues like contracts and relationship advice. This a more platonic/familial relationship that MC would develop. They can delve into more personal and private conversations, confident Micheal has the best intentions and advice, and in turn MC helps him out with what their generation is up to these days.

Pinching MC's cheeks? Yeah, it's a ritual at this point. Likes to joke that MC is actually his illegitimate child. He also invites them to his vlogs, taking MC out at 2 am to Wendy's and talk about the most random stuff. Maybe hint at new things that are upcoming on the show. He writes TSL, not Alex [ Simeon ], so MC will help him with plot and point out any plot holes as well.

"MC, hon, take a nap. You're tired and haven't slept well. I got you food too- no, not Wendy's, actual food. Eat that and go sleep, alright?"

Beelzebub / James

This can be another contender for a romantic relationship! James [ Beelzebub ] is one of the few actors who is pretty similar to their character, so if you love Beelzebub, you love James, sorry I don't make the rules. It's law. He is still new to the acting scene, so unless MC was an actor as a child as well, they'd bounce tips off one another- things they learn from whoever takes them under their wings. In MC's case, Benjamin [ Lucifer ] is their mentor, and in James' case, Alex [ Simeon ] is his mentor.

He's very thoughtful, understanding, and compassionate. But, he is a bit of an airhead at times, or he often gets lost in his own head. This is due to him trying to think things through, he gets anxious and wants to perform well in every aspect of his life, so he tends to overthink and try to fix his problems in his head. MC will help him with opening up and stilling his mind into calmer waters. He feels the weight of his family, seeing as he now makes the most, he feels like he should be taking care of all of them- even when they tell him to just enjoy his life as it is. MC would realize he's a family man, so this would be another relationship where commitment is expected, James would rather not just have something casual due to how hectic things in his life get. He also is often with Dmitri [ Luke ], watching him and making sure he's okay, because if his younger siblings were in the same situation, he'd want someone to look out for them too. Dmitri is in love with both MC and James, often messing around or just relaxing with them of Ross [ Satan ] isn't around, so their often known as the "Realm Trio" due to their characters each being a different race.

"I'm fine, really! I was just... thinking, that's all. I'm happy, really I am, and I want everyone else to be as well. That's it."

Belphegor / Conner

MC definitely becomes more chaotic with Conner, he's a sweetheart, but damn can he not sit the fuck down. He can be a bit draining for MC if they aren't in the best of moods, and even then, he just holds this light that makes them happy or feel peaceful. Another romantic/platonic relationship that can happen. This is a relationship where no matter how old they get, what is going on in life, how overwhelmed they feel, MC and Conner [ Belphegor ] will always manage to laugh.

He is clumsy, especially with the tail, so MC will worry over him on and off set. He is very humble, and grateful for every opportunity he gets, so he faces each day with a smile and the classic southern hospitality- where you say thank you after everything, help anyone even if they aren't struggling, all with a southern drawl that makes MC melt. This is the healthiest relationship to exist, due to how easy Conner can communicate with MC and how MC can pick up on things he might not, there isn't any big issues because they both can just talk it out. Even if it doesn't end up romantic- it's still one of the most fulfilling relationships MC and Conner will have due to just being... them.

"It's so easy, being with you, and I love that. Loving you is never painful, never tough on me, it's always so... light. So perfect, like you."

Barbatos / Thomas

Oh my god. He is an absolute ass. He is like the uncle you never wanted, always sarcastic, roasting someone, but in the end he means no harm. MC and him definitely have a darker sense of humor together, getting either morbid or just downright weird, and no one else can decipher that the fuck they're saying because there's too many inside jokes and little intricacies. In the end, he is a ride or die, may not be the best to work with- but MC is now family and Thomas [ Barbatos ] will now kill for them. Congratulations on the achievement!

Will not allow MC to go to openings or any large events alone, and even if they have another cast member with them, he still keeps an eye on them. He gets anxious, and almost paranoid, his younger sister went missing years ago and never got closure. He see's MC not as his missing sister, but as someone who is in need of that older brother figure, and wants to take that role because it feels so natural. He still ends up as that cool asshole uncle, but he likes that too, as long as MC is with him. There are times where MC will need to help him through some issues, just by being a shoulder to lean on, and in turn they get closer. Thomas didn't expect to get close with many people on the cast, other than his old friends, and taking MC into his family was a surprised for all.

"Come here, ya annoying ass little kid, give me a hug! What! Come here or I'll chase you around his big ass house, MC!"

Diavolo / Roman

MC can be the romantic partner for Roman if you'd like, but I just remembered that I made him have triplets, so unless MC is his partner and willing to have kids, Roman would end up as another Uncle/Father figure. If you go the romantic route, Roman is so deeply in love with MC he will sometimes feel empty of he doesn't tell them he loves them everyday. He is attentive, watchful, and optimistic, always bringing fun into the relationship and making MC feel fulfilled and overflowing with love. But, now with the triplets? Love bomb x10, he loves MC with all his soul, he does, but now he realizes the kids come first and appreciates that they do the same. Prefers to be more private though, won't post whatever he does with the kids or anything like that, he doesn't want spotlights on his children when they never asked for it.

A more platonic/familial relationship though? Best. Man. Ever. Always taking MC out to eat and keeping up with their needs, doesn't baby them, just keeps a watchful and caring eye. Does this with all the younger cast as well. MC will feel loved, safe, and in harmony. He is a wine dad though, so MC will often bring him drinks so he can unwind, even make cocktails time to time just for practice and will make sure to give any tips he can. MC gets a little too tipsy at a party? Well, since he knows where the party is, shoot him a call and he'll pick his 6'5 ass up outta bed to bring MC either to their home or his.

"I've got you, always have, always will. I won't ever let you down, because you deserve the world and all the happiness in it, I just hope I can even be a little piece of it. A reason to make you happy."

Luke / Dmitri

MC is close with Dmitri no matter what, he's always on set, and MC can't seem to let him leave their sight. Kinda like a parent at the park. Won't exactly just stare at their kid, but will always know where they are, and make sure their within a safe distance. Hollywood is full of some sick fucks and MC will be damned if they'd let anything happen to Dmitri. He gets overwhelmed sometimes, will cry and shake, due to holding in stress from the public. MC will teach him how to cook, rather than bake, because food always brings people together and he wants his family to be together in any way he can do it.

Spending time with him means spending time with Ross [ Satan ], so MC ends up close with Ross anyway, and will often be filling up Dmitri's Instagram and other social medias. He is the younger brother MC never had and is ready to be another older sibling for him. If the show goes on for multiple seasons, then it will be set in stone, MC and Luke will be a found family along with the rest of the cast.

"Thank you for everything, MC. I love you, really, and I want you to be as happy as you can be! You're the best and more!"

Simeon / Alex

Alex [ Simeon ] is another potential love interest/ close friend. This is the only other relationship that can compete with Ross [ Satan ] and Roman [ Diavolo ]. He is known for his temper, but usually plays it up for comedy, and will never actually "blow up" on anyone that isn't deserving of it. He is a sweetheart, but has a tendency to be materialistic, due to his rich upbringing. He knows material things aren't the answer, but it's a habit/mentality he's working on fixing. He prefers to be more affectionate in private, because he wants to enjoy intimacy with MC without the eyes of the public on them, not because he would want to hide their relationship.

He is intelligent as fuck, so MC will be filled with the knowledge of the gods, always learning something new and living a student life that isn't more of a student- but someone that has a love for learning. You know Leonardo in Ikevamp? Yeah- that bitch. That's Alex. Even as a friend MC and Alex would always confuse people due to how close they are, which can be annoying if they are with another cast member, but in the end they know the truth.

"Ah fuck, MC, I'm trying to cook here, ya dork! Don't yank me around the kitchen! Hey! Loving me isn't an excuse to squeeze the life outta me! MC! Don't run now!"

Solomon / Derek

So, I honestly had Derek [ Solomon ] as the original love interest, going with the childhood friend trope. MC and Derek would be the ultimate set of goals, and living a fantasy life that most people dream of, the thing you'd see if those overly fluffy fan-fictions. Derek is the more caring and nurturing of the two, while MC is more outgoing and aggressive, and manage to find a happy medium between them. Derek has a calming aura around him and yet is the most socially awkward one in the cast- he will put Leviathan's character to shame with some of the things happened in the past. MC is the biggest tease and will have him flushing like a virgin school boy- and it isn't even sexual, he just flusters easily.

With Lovely and Blue, MC and Derek are known as the babysitters and pet sitters, and are often looking out for the casts pets and children whenever they need it. The couple everyone wants to end up like. You will never see them in scandals, drama, or anything of the sort- even if they become household names, Derek and MC prefer to keep the details of their lives lowkey. I can't see major issues in this relationship, romantic or platonic, because after knowing each other so long, they can communicate in their own ways.

"Blue, stay stiiiiiiiiill. Fine, leave. MC, come here, I need a pillow and Blue won't love me. Thank you- oh! Now you come, Blue? Jealous much?"

#obey me actor au #om actor au #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me imagines #obey me x you #obey me x mc

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gifti3 · 4 years

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honey

ayy im back again with another jjba and game crossover! I’ve had this idea for awhile and I’m finally getting most of it out of my system now!

It’s pretty much huniepop but with jjba characters, and Bruno is your love fairy! so yea warning this is 18+ ——

Summary: You’ve never sexted before but no worries cause your love fairy Bruno’s here to help!

——

You sat on your bed, staring at your phone, putting every single brain cell to work. You were texting one of the many people you were currently fooling around with.

Bruno places his chin on your shoulder as he reads what you’ve typed so far.

He tuts at what he sees. “You aren’t very good at this…”

You huff. “Well, it’s not like I’ve ever sexted before!”

And you were only in this situation because of this man–er fairy!

You had met him about 2 weeks ago in the lounge bar near your apartment. That day had been stressful and you decided to go out to unwind and maybe meet someone new. Unfortunately, the moment you had arrived in the bar, your body decided to get cold feet, as usual. So you sat at the bar and began ordering drinks, keeping to yourself.

You had only been two drinks in when a man had approached you–Bruno. He had a disguise on, but you hadn’t known that at the time. The way he approached you was kind of strange, but you weren’t complaining. In fact, you were grateful since you were planning to stay in the same bar seat the whole night.

He tried to flirt with you, but you totally failed at properly reciprocating. However, he still smiled and looked at you for a couple of seconds. “I think I can make this work.”

After uttering that strange and somewhat curious statement, he left. You simply shrugged it off and continued to drink to help get over your disappointment.

You were sure you wouldn’t see that same man again, but later the next day he showed up in your room! Wig gone and with intricate, lacy looking wings, he looked like something otherworldly and straight out of a fairy tale.

That day you learned that he wasn’t actually a man but a fairy, a love fairy to be more specific. He told you he was there to help you seduce as many people as possible and get into their beds as quickly as possible.

It was a strange experience, to say the least, and you were honestly still trying to completely process it.

You focus on the message on your phone, back in the present.

Bruno chuckles in that stupid attractive way that makes you feel kind of giddy. He flitters his wings before moving away from you. “Okay, let me help then.”

He snaps his fingers and you start levitating about a foot off the bed.

“B-Bruno?”

The man doesn’t reply as he positions himself in the spot you were sitting. Once he’s settled, you float down and land on his lap.

You wiggle a bit on top of him. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you, amore.” He gently pulls you against him. “Now let’s start over.” He deletes everything you typed so far.

“I’m not going to just do this for you outright, but I’ll try to push you in the right direction. I still want you to learn.”

You groan. It really felt like you were being tutored at times.

“This person doesn’t know how to be subtle. What would be the best approach for someone like this?”

You think for a second. “Uh…to be straightforward too?”

“No. Well not yet. Try teasing them first, it’s more fun that way.” As he finishes that thought, he smiles mischievously and begins dragging the fingers of one of his hands along your side, giving you goosebumps.

You gulp and try to ignore the fairy’s caresses and type something simple. “Is this okay?”

“Oh? What exactly do you mean by that winky face,” Bruno reads.

You feel embarrassed hearing it out loud .

“That’s cute, but it could be better.”

You pout, something you were doing a lot ever since Bruno appeared in your life. “This is too hard Bruno.”

Bruno was still touching you. It was a nice feeling but distracting. “It might seem like that at first, but you need to keep going.”

You try again and type ‘oh ur going to give it to me? how exactly?’

Bruno hums approvingly. “Good. How would my cute human like it?”

You blink. “…I guess slowly?”

He places his chin on your shoulder, looking pleased. “I’ll be sure to remember that.”

You stare at your phone screen so you wouldn’t have to make eye contact. You could feel your heartbeat picking up in your chest and you knew he could feel it too.

Bruno tended to act like this when he got a bit too excited but today he didn’t seem to be trying very hard to hold back.

Your phone vibrates in your hand. “Bruno you’re supposed to be helping me,” you complain.

“I am amore. I’m just taking a more direct approach.” He looks at the reply you had gotten on your phone screen.

as fast as you want it ;p

“So they like it when you lead. Tell them exactly what you want…Maybe throw a pet name in there too.”

You did as he said and, when he gives you the okay, hit send. Bruno was really good at his job when he wasn’t messing with you. All this was second nature to him.

His lips brush lightly against your ear. “Do you like it when I call you pet names amore?”

Before you could reply, your phone vibrates again. That was quick. You raise your eyebrows as you read the extremely explicit message. “Holy shit.”

“They’re probably gonna start wanting pictures soon so we might as well beat them to the punch. But I’m assuming you’ve never sent nudes.” He paused for a moment. “I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re 100% sure.”

“I want to,” you say.

“Okay, you should keep it a little tasteful. It’ll definitely drive this person crazy.” Bruno starts fiddling with your bra before unhooking it. “Take this off.”

With some awkward movements, you remove your bra from under your shirt and toss it to the side.

Bruno goes back to caressing your sides before moving his hands onto your chest. He softly drags his fingertips across your hardening nipples.

You close your eyes and completely relax against him. You hated when he teased you like this but it felt good.

“Don’t get too relaxed. You still need to send a picture.”

Slightly frowning, you open your camera app. Your texting partner won’t be able to see Bruno so you don’t bother moving from your comfortable spot.

You snap a photo of yourself, your nipples pushing against the thin fabric of your shirt.

You type a short message.

“You’re quickly improving,” Bruno said.

You take that as an okay to send.

Bruno presses a kiss on your neck and you shiver when you feel him lick a stripe up your neck.

Bruno purrs. “You taste fantastic.”

He places his hands near your inner thighs. “I bet you taste even better here.” He hand moves towards your warm center and you spread your legs wider for him.

Your phone vibrates but you really couldn’t find it in yourself to check.

Bruno nips at your ear. “What do you think you’re doing? Don’t keep any of your targets waiting.”

You reluctantly look at your phone. You had received a lewd photo. Definitely, much more revealing than yours. “W-What do I do now?”

“What do you think of the picture they sent?”

You decide to be straightforward. “Well, they have a nice body and it makes me feel excited.”

“Reply with something similar to that,” Bruno says.

After you send the reply, Bruno suggests you remove your bottoms and helps you pull them off.

The moment you’re back in his lap his hands are back on you. Bruno massages you through your blue panties. You push your hips insistently against his hand.

“You should send a photo of yourself like this,” Bruno tells you.

You purse your lips. This was beginning to frustrate you, but you hurry and take a photo of yourself, making sure to angle the phone to mainly focus on your lower half.

A wet spot was beginning to form on the blue cloth.

You type i hope blues ur favorite color ;) and send.

Bruno laughs at your message. “Are you sure you haven’t sexted before?” He pushes his hands past the elastic band of your underwear.

He brushes his fingers against your slit before spreading you open and teasing your wet entrance.

Your entrance clenches, begging for more friction and heat.

You turn your head towards Bruno’s face, desperation in your eyes “Please, more.”

“What exactly do you want more of? I’m just helping you with your sexts.”

If you could think more clearly you would yell at him. But apparently, Bruno was feeling generous today and moved his fingers to your swollen and sensitive clit and begins rubbing.

“I like how little it takes to get you like this,” he says huskily into your ear.

You moan in reply.

He stops his movement and slowly pushes a finger into your entrance. His other hand cups your breast and begins kneading.

He kisses your cheek and you turn your head towards his. He presses his soft lips against yours and you immediately let him push his tongue pass your lips. You could feel him grinding his hips against your ass.

He slips another finger in and begins to thrust into you faster. The sound of him pushing against your wet walls filling your quiet room.

Soon enough you begin repeatedly tighten against Bruno’s slender fingers–the warm feeling in your lower stomach beginning to overwhelm you–and pull away to catch your breath.

Your back pushes against his firm chest. “C-Close, don’t stop.”

“Where are your manners tesoro?.” He sounded a bit out of breath himself.

“Pl…Please Bruno”, you say before he could edge you.

“That’s better.” Bruno’s other hand begins rubbing against your clit and with a couple more thrusts of his fingers your body tenses, toes curl, and you moan as your climax washes over you.

Bruno’s fingers continue to work you through your orgasm, thrusting in and out of your throbbing pussy.

As you come down, you try to slow your breathing.

After a while, Bruno breaks the silence. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that…I got carried away. You need to answer your messages.”

You couldn’t care less about that right now.

And yea you might have just came, but you were already ready to keep going and you needed–wanted to be closer with this satyromaniac.

You turn towards him on all fours. Your hand moves up his thigh nearing the obvious bulge that had been pressing against you.

Bruno softly grabs your wrist “Sorry y/n but you haven’t earned this yet.” His face seemed like he was internally struggling.

He gives you a peck on the lips before moving from off the bed. He looks at his watch. “And there’s some business I need to attend to. You should answer those messages.”

With a final “Stay sexy and keep it classy” he was gone.

You stare at the now empty space. “You bastard!”

Keep it classy your ass! Crossing your arms, you fall back into your bed.

You look at the multiple messages you had not been paying attention to.

i wish i was there with you

can i come over right now??

…hello?

Oops. Well, you’d make sure to make it up to them later.

You sigh.

That fairy really blue balled himself.

#bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno buccellati x reader #bruno x reader #afab reader #not sfw #n$fw #jjba #bruno bucciarati #reader insert #bruno buccellati #i was totally thinking of m3lone when coming up with the messages reader was receiving #my writing #huniepop

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starryseo · 5 years

Text

phone number. | yang jeongin

pairing ↠ jeongin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just a fluffy barista au!!

wc ↠ 3229

summary ↠ jeongin likes you a latte.

warnings ↠ just jeongin being cute and in loooove. its cringey.

a/n ↠ barista!jeongin bc who doesn’t love cafe aus?

cafe glow is well-known around these parts of town bc it has such!! great!! food and drinks!

it has a real homely feel so a lot of student from the nearby schools/ unis come here

and it’s a pretty big cafe so there’s a lot of space for ppl to come in and chill, whether that be large study groups or just individuals trying to cram for upcoming tests

that homely feel?? it’s bc of all the youngsters that basically run the cafe

it’s officially owned by mr and mrs bang, but their son, chan, manages this cafe a lot since they’ve got a few other places in town to run

chan loves recruiting teens to work bc, despite their hyperactivity (esp the lot that are currently there), they’re a lot less work to deal with than grumpy adults complaining abt wages

so!!

just a few months ago, jeongin started looking around for places to work at

let’s get that bread bro

he spoke to a lot of the nearby businesses like the florist, library and pizzeria but as soon as he entered glow and saw a blond guy downing shots of black coffee as he made different drinks, he Knew he wanted to work here

he headed straight to the counter (ok ofc he waited in line first but who cares abt that)

“welcome to glow, what can i get ya?”

“hi, i was wondering if you were hiring?”

“so,” the guy - nametag reading Felix - began, leaning forwards on the counter, “you wanna join the glow gang, huh? have you got what it takes??”

maybe he should’ve thought more clearly abt this-

“felix are u creeping out kids again?? i swear this is the last time i leave you on counter duty” the black-coffee-drinking blond huffed, wiping his hands on his apron as he left the coffee machines. he nudged felix out of the way, pushing him to the machines before he turned to jeongin. “i’m sorry abt him, i don’t know why i still keep him around”

“i heard that!”

“anyway,” the blond - nametag with Chan printed on it - grinned, “what can i get for you?”

“a job here would be great”

“you really wanna work here,,,, with that?” he pointed over to felix who looked back with a frown

“yeah, it seems pretty fun!”

“you got a cv on you?”

jeongin is a Prepared Boi. before his job hunting run he printed off multiple copies of his cv so he handed it over to chan who briefly looked over it

“when can you start working?”

“when do you need me to?”

chan let out a chuckle at that, pocketing jeongin’s cv, “swing by tomorrow at 4 and we’ll work that out, yeah?”

jeongin went home a Happy Boy and the next day at exactly 4:37 he had landed himself a sweet job at cafe glow

ever since that day a few months ago, jeongin had been learning the ins and outs of the cafe

he’s learnt all about where felix hides his ‘secret’ stash of sweets, where to kick if the machines ever go down and jisung’s ability to not stop talking

jisung’s the guy in charge of training jeongin bc chan doesn’t trust felix with another human’s life and minho, an older uni student that works here part time, is way too busy flirting with customers to get more tips those uni fees won’t pay themselves u go bby

and chan himself already has a lot to deal with since he mainly works in the kitchens

so jisung has taken jeongin under his wing and taught him how to make all drinks (despite there being a manual for this) and how to deal with the customers

and even tho jisung is only 5 months older than jeongin, he n e v e r misses an opportunity to baby the hecc out of him

“what are the different cup sizes we have?”

“uh,, small,, medium and large??”

“goSH jeonGIN you’re so smART!!!! ily!!! what cAN’T you do???”

jisung’s overdramatic as hell but he means well

and it’s always funny when jeongin teams up with felix (still a pretty rare occassion) to prank jisung

one day jeongin had a test after school so he couldn’t come by

and ofc he let chan know this in advance but he and felix decided not to tell jisung

jisung was waiting around for jeongin to come and he literally almost started crying when felix told him an hour later that jeongin wasn’t gonna come

“,,m,y bab y ? jeonginnie??? wh at do u me an,, he won’t com,e??? felix you a s s don’t l i e to m,e,, :((((”

they even got minho to record the whole thing not for free ofc, and minho’s services are n o t cheap, but it was totally worth it

felix screenshot jisung’s crying face and it’s now the display picture of their glow gang group chat

which btw never shuts up bc: during the day (and work hours) felix, jisung and jeongin will be spamming it, during the evening minho will complain abt all the uni work he’s got to do, after dinner time the youngsters are back on it sending memes until like 2am, and then by 4am chan finally gets on and complains abt the boys killing his storage with their dumb memes & he gives any updates abt the next day’s schedule if need be

it’s a great system, hella wild and random, but jeongin loves it nonetheless

now for the part where u, dear reader, come in!!

it’s just an ordinary day, a bit quieter than usual but jeongin’s not complaining bc it gives him time to finish off some of his hw while he’s at the till

he looks up when the door chime rings and

(°ロ°) !

he’s vvv obviously staring at u as u walk in, his pen drops on the counter and his mouth is :0

damn yn you’ve broken jeongin

but does he care???

yes

is he stopping?????

also yes but you’ve already seen his dumbstruck face and he realises he was caught just staring at u when u walk up to him with a shy smile on your face

he doesn’t know what’s come over him

and he doesn’t mean to be some typical teenage boi straight out of a high school drama

but u just look so pretty he couldn’t help but?? go heart eyes??

he’s trying not to lose his cool when u finally reach the counter

“hi!” he grins, “welcome to cafe glow, what can i get for you?”

you order your drink and watch as jeongin types away at the computer

he’s rlly hoping the screen blocks his blush bc he’s still (´♡‿♡`)’ing and he’s pretty sure he can feel his blush at this point

“is there anything else i can get you?”

your number

he finds your thinking face so cute!! the way u bite ur lip a little as your eyes glaze over the sweet treats they have on display

he d i e s when u look back up at him and ask, “anything you’d recommend?”

he keeps his cool as he says some of his fave desserts, and you choose the cheesecake

“alright! will you be eating in or is that to-glow go”

his heart swells when u laugh at his pun but he’s highkey dYinG inside bc he wants u to stay for just a little longer

he almost cries when u say you’re eating in bc !!! yes!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!! maybe he could try talking to you!!!!!

“sweet! take a seat anywhere, your food will be made shortly!”

when u go to pay for ur food he’s internally hating felix bc he swears all these mushy feelings he’s experiencing are bc felix made him watch back-to-back romance films

he’s taken money from a lot of customers but he’s never, n e v e r, wanted to just hold their hand and he’s honestly so close to just never letting go of yours rn but he mentally slaps himself

pull it together jeongin u dumbass

when u tell him to keep the change he’s just

s i g h can u get any more perfect

he yeets felix out of the way from the coffee machines and towards the till

“role change, i’m bored!”

“but chan banned me from the tills, he’s gonna kill me!”

“i’ll get jisung on you”

“uGHhgHGHghhhhh”

he’s halfway thru making ur drink when minho sliiiides next to him and slings an arm around his shoulders

“so, innie, who’s the cutie you’re serving?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

from his short time working here he knows that minho is in love with any kind of gossip and there’s no point in lying to him

esp not with this massive blush on jeongin’s face that’S STILL thERe bc jeongin peeked over and saw you taking out textbooks which means you’re gonna stay here for lo n g er than he thought

and he’s got this huge grin on his face :D

and no one’s ever that happy making coffee

esp not when felix is right next to them singing along to the twice song playing in the cafe

god knows who put felix in charge of the cafe playlist

an y w ay

“does our baby innie have a,,, crushhh on a certain someone???”

“noooooookay maybe? idk i just met them!!”

“:0!!!! our baby’s iN LOVE!!!”

minho said that so loudly!!! jeongin peered over minho’s shoulder and saw that y o u had looked up at the exclamation and he let out a sheepish laugh to try and make the scene look normal

u just grinned at him and he almost swooned

minho’s shouting alerted jisung who deadass ran from the other side of the cafe

jisung, out of breath: wh-what do u mean,, in love,,,??? you’re too young for that ://

even chan popped out from the kitchen. “jeongin loves someone?? how cute, who is it- felix, what the hell are u doing there, didn’t i ban u from the tills??”

“blame loverboy!”

“gUYsss :((( let me wORk!!”

“u do u, innie, go get ‘em tiger!” minho said, smirking as he took a step back

the other boys stayed quiet as well, chan filling up the front display with the baked goods he freshly made

jeongin quietly got to finishing off ur drink and grabbed a cheesecake slice to carry over to you

“h-hey,” he started, placing the plate and drink beside your textbook, “sorry it took so long,,,”

“that’s alright,” you smiled and all his worries literally washed away, “was everything okay back there?”

“yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly, “minho’s just easily excited and nosy, a terrible combination really”

u laughed at that and he grinned, his nerves easing away

“u guys seem really close,” when he saw u quickly look over to the counters he turned as well, just in time to see all four of them rush to try and act natural (altho jisung just dropped to the ground so he’s really a lost cause)

“they’re really crazy, but they do mean well,” he grinned, “except felix, avoid him at all costs”

“i’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled when jeongin pointed out who felix was and felix just glared back at him, as tho he knew jeongin was talking shit abt him

“well,” he started, realising he should go bc a big group of customers had just entered, “i’ll leave u to it, i hope u enjoy ur food. let me know if u need anything else!”

he headed back to the counter, a HUGE grin on his face, he’s so glad his back is to u bc he’d be so embarassed if u saw

it’s bad enough minho saw and is non-stop teasing him abt it now

throughout his shift minho was just taunting him, cooing “innie’s in love~”

as he was dealing with other customers and running around the cafe, he’d make quick eye contact with u and each time he did, u let out the softest smiles, he’s pretty sure he’s never smiled this much

abt an hour later when the rush had died down, jeongin looked over to see that!!! u were still there!!!!!

he fixed up a quick mango smoothie, smth he always found super refreshing, and headed over to your table

“h-hey?” he tapped your shoulder when he noticed u had your headphones in

“oh, hey! i, uh, i didn’t order this?”

“yeah, it’s,, it’s on the house, thought you might need a pick-me-up, you’ve been working rly hard”

“ahh thank you!!!” u grinned at him so cutely, “would u like to sit down?”

he nodded too enthusiastically but he hopes u didn’t pick up on that ((u did)) as he sat down opposite you

for the next 30 mins? hour?? neither of u know

u guys just talked

he’s thanking god that there was no rush in customers bc he enjoyed spending time just talking to u

the conversation seemed to flow so?? naturally???

he found out ur name and that u go to a nearby school sadly not the same one as him

and u were taking the scenic route home instead of ur normal walking path or using the bus which is why he’d never seen u before

he’s so glad that fate brought u here today tho!!!! eternally grateful that u made that wise choice!!!

when ur phone buzzed with a message from ur family he finally realised that it was getting late

he watched almost in tears as u packed ur stuff up, thanking him for the drinks and snacks that he definitely didn’t steal from felix’s hidden stash

he went back to the counter, stars in his eyes as he leaned against the counter, opposite minho who was chilling by the till

“so, how’d it go? did u get their number??”

jeongin: (❤ω❤)

jeongin, 0.02 secs later: ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

felix, jumping in: “pls don’t tell me u spent all that time,,,,, and u didn’t get their number-”

minho: “loverboi was too busy making moves, eh?”

jeongin’s mood instantly dropped and he was so close to just headbutting the counter then and there

what if u never come back????

what if u came back when he wasn’t there?????

what if you’re on ur way here but then u see another cafe and u go there instead and fall in love with a barista there???????

jeongin’s 2 seconds away from pouting for all eternity when chan comes over and pats him on the back, “i’m sure they’ll come back!”

jeongin’s praying the old man’s right

and he is!!!!!!! cliche ik

u didn’t come back the next day which broke jeongin’s heart and he was honestly so close to losing all hope bc he’s incredibly dramatic like that

but u come back the day after!!!

jeongin’s wiping down a table when u enter and u spot him instantly and wave

he waves back but the cloth he’s holding slips from his hand onto the ground

and he rushes to pick it up but hits his head on the table when he tries standing up again

and he’s in so much pain but he just nervously laughs it away esp when he sees ur half worried, half trying-not-to-laugh-aloud face

when he sees u walking to him -- not the counter -- he’s counting to 100 in 3 seconds to try and calm himself down to not look like even more of a fool

“is the table okay?”

“yeah, i’m alri- hey, rude!” he pouts, faking a sniffle and rubbing his head

“i’m kidding, jeongin” (he had to bite his lip to not squEAL when u said his name) “are you okay? that looked painful :((”

“i’ll live,” he fake sobbed, rubbing away imaginary tears with the cloth in his hand before he realised what he’d just done and dropped it on the table in disgust (he highkey dieddd when u laughed at him again) “ew, i’m sorry you had to see all this”

“it’s fine,” you grinned, scrunching ur nose when u saw the wet smears on his face, “but u got a lil smth there” u pointed to ur own cheek

jeongin wanted to CRY

he knows he’s a cute boi (he uses this to his advantage whenever he can)

but rn??

he knows he looks like the epitome of a grade A DumbassTM

he just let out the longest s i g h

“i’ll be right back!”

he rushed off to the back and sorted himself out (and quickly iced his head)

he came back out to see u sitting down at the same table as last time

as soon as he came thru the doors u looked up and held out thumb, an eyebrow raised

and he reciprocated the gesture, telling u he’s all okay now!

he found it so cute that u cared!!! his heart: on fire!!

felix walked right to him, pulling him along to the coffee machines as he told him ur order

“u owe me one now loverboi!”

jeongin prepped ur food and took it to u like last time

but this time u initiated the conversation

“felix isn’t all that bad, y’know?” you said, holding onto your hot drink as it warmed ur hands up

“for now,” jeongin started, “trust me, if u ever have the misfortune of seeing him act cute, you’ll regret ever saying that.”

your nose scrunched as you imagined that -- jeongin gasped when he saw and then prayed you didn’t see that -- before you let out the cutest laugh he’s ever heard, “yeah, i can’t imagine that looking nice”

you two talked for a bit more until jeongin had to get back to the counter and take orders

he popped up at your table when he could, offering felix’s sweets and a refill

“do you treat all your customers like this? free drinks isn’t good for business, y’know?”

he went bright red at your teasing bc “nope, you’re special!” -- his eyes went w i d e when he said that and, if it was possible, his cheeks went redder -- but god, was it worth it bc your eyes sparkled and your blooming blush was so pretty he was starstruck

he cleared his throat, let out the most nervous chuckle ever, put the lemonade on your table before diving behind the counter

he could practically hear minho’s smirk from all the way over here

great.

it took a little while longer for him to psych himself up to go over to you again after that disaster

but seeing you pack up your bag made him forget everything and run up to you

“hey, you’re done already?” he asked, pouting as you put your last book away

“yeah, i’ve gotta help make dinner soon,” you replied, fixing your bag over your shoulder, “thanks for the drink, it was great!”

“y-yeah, no problem!” you loved his drink!! score!!!! “come again soon, yeah?”

“definitely,” you winked -- you winked, god his heart was weak -- before waving and taking your leave

felix slid up next to him, throwing his arm around jeongin’s shoulders

“pls tell me you got their number this time”

shit.

the top gif is jeongin’s face right now

#stray kids #yang jeongin #straykidznet #sk-writersnet #yang jeongin scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #jeongin scenarios #stray kids fluff #yang jeongin fluff #jeongin fluff #skz fluff #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #yang jeongin imagines #jeongin imagines #jgn

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humminghalo · 5 years

Note

I'm not a cryptid, but rather an angel. I've been stuck away from Heaven for too long, and I'm losing my halo. Every day is tiresome, I'm always drained, I just want to go home. I act too human now. I hate it.

Hel lo , my fr iend . I unde rsta nd , tha t you are sa d and tir ed . I t really ta kes up a lot of ene rgy , to be bo und to a phy sica l for m when you us ed to be as lig ht as ligh t itself , glow ing , ho ly . But ple ase rem ember th at you we re sen t int o this re alm for a rea son . I under stand quit e we ll , that the missin g wings ache and th at you feel li ke your halo is disappe aring . But as I men tione d in the po st bef ore ; you r holy par ts ar e not vanis hing into nothin gness . They are si mply kep t in anot her lay er of rea lity to pro tect the m . Yo u hav e not stop ped bein g a holy ent ity , you hav e n ot been bann ed fr om spre ading whate ver hol y word you sha ll deli ver . You are simp ly in anot her lay er of rea lity and it is yo ur duty to repres ent the won derfu l heave nly pla ce you ca me fro m .

You ar e sti ll an ang el , my fr iend . You kn ow it dee p down , righ t ? I kn ow somet imes thin gs se em pointl ess and not hing but tiri ng — eve n to me , at ti mes . I re ally unders tand such fe elings . But ple ase keep goi ng . You have a missi on . Yo u can sti ll bri ng pea ce and lov e int o th is wor ld . You will n ot alwa ys receiv e it ba ck . But tha t does no t mea n your work is worthl ess . Man y thing s in th is rea lm take agoniz ingly lon g . B ut you hav e liv ed for fa r greater eterni ti es , y ou are stro ng , my frie nd . I be lieve in you , ang el . You r memori es of why you wer e sent here will re turn event ually . Do not gi ve up ye t , ev en if yo ur who le be ing yea rns to go bac k . Y ou are ho ly . Fe el your halo glo wing , eve n if it see ms too fa r away . It is the re . It will st ay with you . Yo u are not alon e , my de ar frie nd !

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boredsingaporean · 5 years

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Chapter 26: Good Feng Shui for Offices

I was having a very bad morning. Some critical issues with a new FX fund had surfaced suddenly and its launch date was around the corner. I had been on four conference calls with the Singapore, Thailand, South Korea and China country managers respectively for the past four hours, repeating the same things over and over again. Just when I put back my headset and took a first sip on my already cold coffee, my MSN Messenger popped out. I had got a message from Nicky. “hey, ur product got prob? u sounded exasperated on ur conf calls” “yeh, got surprises at the wrong timing.” “do u think everybody has been rather unlucky lately?” “is it?” “ur product got prob, Choi’s report was handed up late” “erm… Choi’s reports are always handed up late” “ok, Dawn’s project got stuck” “Nicky, Dawn’s project is never destined to be successful” “Sally has been scolded by Ju for a few times in a row this month” “it’s their event period. It’s normal” “ok ,Rose has been falling sick” “hmm… true. She has been having migraine quite frequently these days” “and my shares has been dropping” “so wat are u trying to tell me?” “i think our office’s Feng Shui has got prob” “are u sure it’s our office’s Feng Shui?” “yeh. I tell u wat. I’ll bring my stuffs here tomoro” “wat stuffs?” “my Feng Shui tools. I need to take a look at our office’s Feng Shui and see wat’s wrong” Geez, to Nicky, all misfortunes lead to Feng Shui. But he was not being too paranoid though. It was true that all of us had been down on our luck lately. Nothing seemed to work and anything that could go wrong went wrong. Maybe it was really the Feng Shui. As promised, Nicky appeared with an ancient Chinese Feng Shui compass, a.k.a. Luo Pan, in the office on the following morning. It was a small compass embedded in a huge movable copper disc with lots of Chinese writings on it and this whole thing was then housed in a red square box. There was even a tiltmeter with a liquid bubble inside a chamber that indicated if the compass was tilted. The only time I had seen this kind of compass was in a Chinese movie about zombies and Taoists. Nicky walked to our office door, turned and tilted his compass then noted down his reading on a piece of paper. He then did the same action at the other three corners and the center of the area that belonged to our department. “Dude, I was right,” Nicky looked at me solemnly. “Our office has got bad Feng Shui.” “Then why did it only affect us at the end of the year?” I was not convinced. “Because then it was not time yet. But now, my friend, the bad luck has finally surfaced. We need to counter it or else more misfortune will be expected.” If I was not standing in front of Nicky and looking at him, I would have thought that I heard those words from a Feng Shui master who was trying to tell me that we needed to buy some thousands dollars Feng Shui cures to end our bad luck. “And what are we supposed to do, our dear Feng Shui Master?” I teased. “Our office door is facing the West, which is where the Grand Duke Jupiter is situated this year. That is very bad because all the movements at the door have created too much noise.” “Oh, so this Mr. Grand Duke Jupiter is a quiet guy like KZ, huh?” “Beng! In Feng Shui, Grand Duke Jupiter is very well respected. And misfortunes will fall upon us if we create noises at where he is seated!” “Okay, so what’s the cure?” “We need to buy a Pi Xiu,” Nicky continued. “This Pi Xiu should be placed at our door and facing West where the Grand Duke Jupiter is. It’ll then get rid of the bad luck due to the conflict.” Oh, so that guy with a horn, a face that looks like a mix between a lion and a dog, hoofs at its feet, two little wings and a tail would scare that cantankerous and sour old soul away. “Will this Pi Xiu stops people from treating me as a receptionist as well?” asked Ju who sat at the desk nearest to the door. “I’m so sick of having delivery men and guests asking me where is who seated, where is the wash room and where is the exit.” “Erm… I’m not sure about this part.” Nicky admitted. “But I know that it’s bad Feng Shui to sit facing the office door directly. It means that you’ll be out of the company soon.” “Out of the company? Does it mean that some headhunters will look for me and some companies will offer me higher pay?” “Err… I’m not sure if it can be translated to that.” “Nicky! Maybe you should look at my Feng Shui problem as well!” shouted Sally. “You’re not under any exposed overhead beam, and your facing direction seems okay. What’s wrong?” asked the puzzled Nicky. “It is bad Feng Shui to face the copier machine right?” “What?” “You know, everybody who discovers that the copier machine is out of paper will turn around and ask me whether I have any papers,” Sally complained. “There was once, this guy even told me that the copier machine was spoilt and he just stood in front of me and expected me to do something about it! What did he expect? Do I look like I can repair a copier machine?” “Erm… Sally, I’m afraid I can’t help you on this. The Feng Shui books did not mention anything about what to do when you sit facing a copier machine.” Before Sally could ask him anything, Nicky hastily walked to the back of our department area. He looked at the vertical blinds covering the windows then turned to me and said: “I’ve found another problem.” “What’s that?” “The three of us, you, me and Choi, we are seated with our backs to the windows. That’s bad Feng Shui!” “Because there’s another disagreeable guy situated there?” “No! In Feng Shui, if you are seated with you back to a door or a window, it means you won’t have the support from your bosses and colleagues in work. No wonder Rose rejected my last analysis report!” “Err… Nicky, I heard that she rejected that report because you made some mistakes in some of your charts.” “Never mind, I know how to cure this,” Nicky ignored my comments and continued. “We can place a Dragon Tortoise here to give us the support that we lack of.” “Dude, is it a dragon or a tortoise?” “A Dragon Tortoise.” “Yah, so which one? Dragon or tortoise?” “A Dragon Tortoise! A Dragon Tortoise is a Feng Shui animal with the head of a dragon and the body of a tortoise!” explained Nicky, slightly miffed with me. Nicky then turned and pushed away the vertical blinds as he opened one of the windows. He stuck his head out for a few minutes, looking up and down, left and right, then came back in and closed the window. “I don’t really see any sharp corners or protruding parts outside our office windows.” “Well, that’s great then.” “But in order to play safe, I think we’d better increase the yang chi in our office.” I had heard this from a television program before. People who believe in Feng Shui believe that our environment is consisted of yang chi, which is positive aura, and yin chi, which is negative aura. When the yang chi is weaker than the yin chi in an environment, the people staying in that environment will be very unlucky. And when the yin chi in an environment is too strong, that place could be haunted. I wondered if that was the reason for Sally’s spiritual experience. “How are you going to increase the yang chi in the office?” I asked Nicky. “There are these five-coin amulets that are made of five I-Ching coins tied together with a red string. I’ll get five of these amulets and we can hang four in the four corners and hang the fifth one in the center.” “Hey bro! Since you’re at it, is there anything you can do to the Feng Shui here to make our wealth luck stronger so that we can win some lottery?” Choi asked. “Hmm… actually there might be a way.” Nicky walked back to his table and took out several Feng Shui books from his document bag. One by one, he flipped and read through some pages. A couple of minutes later, he put down a book and walked over to Choi’s desk. “Choi, there is one way to enhance our wealth luck. But it’s a bit troublesome though.” “Well, if I can win the first price for lottery, I don’t really mind doing something that is troublesome,” Choi grinned. “We need to take a porcelain bowl, put in five I-Ching coins and fill it with water. Then we need to place this bowl of coins and water at the corner diagonally to our office door.” “That doesn’t sound too troublesome.” “We need to change the water every week.” “That’s not a problem at all. I can do it,” Choi committed. “And we can’t use normal tap water.” “Then what? Use mineral water?” Nicky took a breath, and then said: “We need water from the heaven, from the sky to be specific. We need to collect rain water to fill the bowl.” Choi raised an eyebrow and said: “Forget it. It’s really too troublesome.” During lunch time, I accompanied Nicky to the Feng Shui shop that he usually patron at The Bencoolen to get the Pi Xiu, Dragon Tortoise and five-coin amulets. After we left the shop, Nicky mentioned that we needed to bless our Feng Shui cures in the Kwan Im Tong Hood Che Temple. “How do we bless these stuffs?” I asked. “Oh, just circle the cures three times around the main joss-sticks urn in the temple and ask the Goddess of Mercy for her blessings,” Nicky explained. “Okay, I presume that you’re doing that because you’re a Buddhist. But Dawn is a Christian. Will these animals and amulets protect her as well?” “Err… I’m not sure. It’s not stated in the books.” After we returned to the office, we could not place those Feng Shui cures yet. Nicky said that the only auspicious hour for that day was at five o’clock and we could only place those cures by then. Finally at five minutes past five, Nicky placed the Pi Xiu and Dragon Tortoise at their respective places while Choi and I helped to hang the coin amulets on the lamp holders. Dawn watched in amaze as we hung the coin amulets. “Hey, what are you guys doing?” Dawn finally could not control her curiosity and asked. “We’re hanging some Feng Shui coin amulets,” I replied the obvious. “What is that amulet for? What is it supposed to do?” “Err… bring us good luck.” “Okay… these coins look pretty eerie. Will it affect me negatively? I’m pregnant, you know?” “Erm… I’m not very sure actually. Why don’t you ask Nicky? It’s his idea.” Immediately, Dawn walked over to Nicky who had just finished adjusting the Pi Xiu’s position and asked him a series of questions. Nicky frowned as he tried to answer her questions and I could see that he needed to read more Feng Shui books. Actually, maybe Nicky should find a Feng Shui cure that could stop Dawn from bothering him.

#nanowrimo

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antigravi-blog · 6 years

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me: write ur starters before your work week starts again also me: chuuya taking every young(er) mafia initiate under his wing from a distance and lookin out for them because he’s got a soft spot for kids :thinking: :thinking: :thinking:

#ooc tag tba.#he's everyone's drunk uncle.?#drunkle #on a serious note tho.#if it came down to it?? he would die for the people he's responsible for. like #he's grown enough to understand how to be a leader #but! he's also very emotional. and protective #he hates the idea of using people as pawns. esp kids #your drunk ass uncle who will Die For You

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wannawrite · 6 years

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You Are // jiaer + yien

A sis is yeOLLING she cant find her english homework and school is being crap on the first 2 weeks I just started sec 1 and there's homework from like 4 different subjects school let me live thank you im SO SO tired ugh anyway i hope your day was amazing,,, please get enough rest and drink ur fluids, all of you - Admin N ♡♡

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I climb onto the ride with him with the biggest teasing grin on my face, a twinkle in my eye playing at his little phobia as I say confidently, "You're gonna enjoy this, Yi En ge ge."

Yi En's eyes, gaze even softer than usual when he's timid, look at me with fear as his big, round pupils start to shrink. Unsure of the future in front of him, his mind starts to shrink along like two walls closing in on him, snatching the breath from his lungs. His Adam's apple dips continuously as I feel his sweat glazed fingers wrap themselves around mine into a little cocoon.

"J-Jia Er, I'm scared." he blurts, small figure trembling vigorously like a little butterfly caught in the rain, wings bent and covering his frame. I kiss him on the cheek gently before I flick a finger up, gesturing to my foster brother.

"Yi En, look at the sky." I say. His eyes follow suit, and trail up.

"What do you see?"

"It's...it's blue. And it's blurry." Yi En gulps, swallowing the balls of air particles expanding wider and wider in his throat each time. In an attempt to calm him down briefly, I put a hand around his neck and stroke it gently with my thumb, replying, "You didn't say it was cloudy, did you?"

Yi En looks at me perplexedly, and with the tears shimmering and spiraling themselves around his soft, pretty eyes, he thaws a crack in my heart just by muttering, "There are no clouds."

"That's why," I sniff, placing my thumb to his eyes and freeing the long held back tears out of that beautifully sculpted, mocha brown cage of theirs, "You remove the clouds from your eyes. The sky isn't crying today, so you won't be crying today too, Mark Yi En Tuan. Look at the sky again, and please, try and see a clear one. I'm here for you if you need me, okay? Don't think I'm so bloody incapable because I'm just one year younger. We're in this together." I finish with a little more dignity.

He smiles his soft, dimply smile, the one where the roof of his lips doesnt move as much as other smiles so it looks absolutely adorable, before saying, "Thank you, you smooth little boy. I'll see a lot of clear skies today."

Now I too, have a battle to win against my tears.

"I stole that from Namjoon. He's great at uttering poetic crap like this," I cough modestly as Yi En clambers into the seat next to me. He pulls the harness shaped safety bars over his head, which protects his small waist well. I swear I see a look of panic flash past his face in my peripheral vision as I pull over my own safety bars, and my pulse rate can't help but rise a little. My turn for the gaze in my eyes to bear uncertainty and fear, I ask, "Yi En, are you alright?"

With the small, not so obvious smile that looks even more attractive than his normal, goofy wide ones, he replies, "Yeah, because of you." That smile is coy, and small-not broadcasted to the entire world and spreading around its warmth, but rather, seemingly reserved for my eyes and my eyes only. The sunlight outlines his features and his tiny, tousled black curls, and I can't help but return the smile. My foster brother looks so attractive, he'd definitely pick up a girlfriend in no time when he grew up and puberty hit him like a truck-

"HAHAHAHAHAA, ah, Jia Er, you're so funny." Yi En says, a cheeky look playing on his soft, demure features, not seeming so soft and demure anymore after making fun of my thoughts that had slipped out quickly by that careless, troublemaker 乌鸦 mouth of mine.

"Shut up!" I retort, tints of red splashing onto my cheeks like watercolour roses as a sheepish grin spreads across my face. I bicker for a while with Yi En before we hear a sound, familiar to the construction works that were frequently held at that quaint, boxed in home of ours.

The gears carry us up, and the metallic 'clink clink' sound of the gears smashing against each other ruthlessly pounds and resounds in both our ears. Like the gears, Yi En's teeth smashes together with a 'clak' before they start to chatter, fear swallowing him up as his eyes start to widen in horror.

"Jia-Jia Er, you'll be with me, right?" He sends a weak, quivering smile my way that shakes and crumbles under the harsh brick of fear. A single tear rolling over my rosy, baggy eyelids and onto the metal floor of the car, I reply with the release a shaky breath, "Mark. I'll always be with you. You're my Yi En ge ge, how could I not be here with you? I'd rather die, thank you very much."

"You keep quiet. Don't curse yourself like this."

And just as we say it, the incessant clicking of the gears gradually slow down, before coming to a halt.

The car dips, and the wind whips against our hair and messing it into a little bird nest (for ahgases? wink wonk) as my adrenaline rises at the feeling of gravity seeping away and leaving mine and Yi En's poor heart to beat continuously. We slide down at the speed of lighting, diverse shades of green blurs whizzing past us below. Tingles of pleasure fill my insides, and every cell in me thoroughly basks in the thrill. My eyes aren't closed, not even for one second, and a big goofy grin plasters itself to my face.

"Yi En, isn't this fu-" I say with a grin, turning towards the empty, bright red seat, and in less than a half second, the grin falls off my face, replaced with the pure look of horror that writes itself over my features.

Five long, attractive fingers are rested on the little raised bit of the car entrance, and shock jabs itself quickly at my heart, my heart even becoming shock itself.

"YI EN! YI EN GE GE!" I scream, tears spilling out of my eyes like an unbroken dam. Before I can holler anything else, he quivers, "Jia-Jia Er, don't save me. It's dangerous. The-the safety belt fell off during the drop. I'm sorry. Promise me you'll take care. I love you. You'll always be my hao di di. You're an amazing boy-and you're my number one, all I have left."

"I DON'T CARE! MARK YI EN TUAN, YOU'RE GOING TO TRY AND GET UP. YOU'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT. SOMEONE STOP THIS THING!" I screech, the world starting to be even more blurry than before, due to the panic posessing my mind, but I shake it off-I want to save Yi En. I don't even take notice of the eyes fixated on me and the other screams piercing the atmosphere as I pull off my safety belt to save the hand right in front of me.

Oh.

It's gone.

In front of my very eyes, I see the hand gradually slip off the red surface, and disappear into nothingness.

"YI EN! YI EN, WHY?" I cry, screaming and spitting out a torrent of colourful language at the heavens, for not letting my angel of a brother to live on. Pounding my feet against the metal floor which lets out silvery yelps of pain, I add on once I catch a small puff of breath, "YOU SAID THAT YOU'D BE WITH ME. YOU SAID THAT YOU'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BREAK YOUR PROMISE LIKE THIS, COME BACK!" I recall how his voice would sing me to sleep, how he said that I'd always have his number if I needed him when I left for my outing that day, and the beats of my heart scream louder than ever, pounding against my chest and my head, both of which possess terrible stings.

He's gone.

Yi En's gone.

The only family I had.

I never cared about the kids who taunted, picked at the me who was parentless. I knew all that I required was the angel sent from heaven to protect me, chase away my nightmares, and most importantly, sent to teach me the ways of love and pain.

And this lesson, was definitely a stab in the heart.

The pain rings in my ear as darkness swallows me up-not that I'd mind, I wouldn't ever imagine a world without Yi En. My world spins around me like a hurricane of rollercoaster-greenery paintings before all my eyes envision is a pitch black, colour finally rid from my world.

I'm lying down.

Am I...

alive?

Or would I even have been alive in a world with colour, however still in a world without Yi En?

"Jackson-hyung..."

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#wang jiaer #duan yien #got7 scenarios #admin n

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rurounidrift · 7 years

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Aug 2 Blurr’s Horror Stream - The Void

Drift wasn’t actually here tonight. Tyran Drift was though!

Maybe next time Drift will meet him.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. B l u r r: / stomping heels are on the way. He's got datapads stacked in one claw, the other holding rolls of maps. Grade A professor here / A113N: Homework, Blurr? B l u r r: Hardly. /scoffs and tries to balance everything/ More like tasks to assign. A113N: Looks like a lot of tasks. Got people doing overtime? XP B l u r r: As of lately, I've been the only person doing overtime.. A113N: But you're the captain? That's lame. Better get everyone to work! B l u r r: ... Yes, that's the intention. /using his heel to kick a datapad back onto the pile / A113N: Glad you stil have time for the movie. Its been a while since I've been to one of these. boomtank: -is going to see if he can actually stay the entire movie this time- Wing: *he tired* B l u r r: Of course I show movies. I just don't really pay attention half the time. I'm busy. A113N: Being busy isn't fun. But getting busy is~~ ;) B l u r r: ... Ew. Wing: *there is an empty chair here with his name on it this time. yes there is* A113N: *chirps at wing* Are you the Wing that I've been talking to recently? drift changed their nickname to TyDrift. Wing: Could be. We went on a trip with that ship's crew to the other world a while back? A113N: Yes! Wing: *tired smile* Allen! I didn't know you'd be here. B l u r r: / anyway. Settles on his couch. Drops all his stuff down to work on / A113N: ...lively crowd. (did you turn everyone into zombies, blurr?) >;) A113N: I didn't expect that I would be there. But I'm glad to see you, Wing Wing: I'm glad to see you, too. Both of you. A113N: Both? Me and who else? If you were taling to someone else, i missed it B l u r r: Me, nitwit. /sticks energon stick in mouth and starts spreading things out on a table/ Wing: *headshake* No, sorry. You and Blurr. *he's tired shoosh* A113N: Oh, yes. Always good to see Blurr. *looks at blurr and smiles* Right, Blurr?~~ B l u r r: I will kill you in ten seconds flat if you hit on me one more time. B l u r r: / chewing energon stick/ Always good to see you too, Whirl. /smirks at. Hisses at Allen / A113N: .... Whirl??? B l u r r: Wing*** A113N: *hisses back at Blurr* B l u r r: [[ sorry im working on something ]] B l u r r: [[ trying to get my notes wrapped up before this [[ A113N: ur good. i thot blurr was teasing allen)) A113N: by calling him someother name. idk)) B l u r r: [[ nah he was talking to Wing ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave peers into the room, checking for sorts he doesn't want to be near* Wing: ((omgs)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Any Ratchets?* Sideswipe: [ loud AHEM behind Soundwave ] Sideswipe: You wanna move, twiggy? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No.]] A113N: *snorts at sides and sounders. heh* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Stays there longer.* Sideswipe: You wanna BE moved? Wing: *soft vents* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Lifts one arm.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Walk under if it's so important.* Sideswipe: ... [limbos under that and skates into the room ] A113N: *oh, its getting interesting in here now* boomtank: -he's awake, he swears- boomtank: -for the moment- ItsyBitsySpyers: *Seems to be okay. Trudges in and takes his seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sheds half a million deployers, or so it seems.* A113N: *!!! minis! so cute! and deadly!* Sideswipe: [ skids on his wheels and looks around ] This place turns into more of a dump the more I see it. boomtank: -stares as 'wave loses half of his weight and bulk- B l u r r: / wiggles claws at Soundwave and co. / B l u r r: Oh, Soundwave. I have something interesting for you. B l u r r: [ is everyone ready? ]] Wing: ((yee)) boomtank: ((yeah Sunstreaker: ((my connection is a little unstable but I'm here!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...What is it.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *is ready* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((er. that should've been parentheses)) B l u r r: It's something you'll like. Claws out, mech. A113N: *sits by wing and leans helm on* :) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Hesitantly holds them out* B l u r r: [[ okay we start now ]] Sunstreaker: /just gonna follow in after Sideswipe/ Why are we back here again? Sideswipe: I came for the food. B l u r r: / reaches out claw and sets a metal case in Soundwave's servos / B l u r r: It's this music box that holds recorded musical history from the planet we recently raided. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Big red exclamation point on visor. He's gonna peek at it.* Sideswipe: ... Movie seems interesting. [grabbing snacks and wheeling over to a couch ] Sideswipe: C'mon, Sunny. Sunstreaker: ... If you say so. Looks messed up to me. /following him anyway/ A113N: D: boomtank: ...isn't that flamable...? Sideswipe: C'mon. It's more action than I've seen in weeks. boomtank: ....yeah, never mind, movie answered me Wing: *he doesn't mind that at all. fact, he might lean a little too* A113N: *soft purr at Wing* B l u r r: Well, I thought you'd like it, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He does. Thank you.]] B l u r r: Mm, good. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Into the subspace it goes. And when he gets home (and makes sure there's nothing spywise in it) it'll go on a shelf.* B l u r r: / wiggles claws at Wing again / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Which is something of an honor.* Wing: *bleary optics but he caught that. little wave* Everything okay? B l u r r: Mm for the most part. B l u r r: / sticks another stick in his denta and spreads out maps/ Wing: *watches Blurr*... Are you okay? B l u r r: Mm? More or less. Just been logging courses. Sideswipe: [ flops down and immediately starts munching on snacks ] boomtank: ......? TyDrift: [just going to quietly walk in late and find a seat, don't pay him any mind] B l u r r: / pays lots of mind. Perks helm up, stick still in his mouth/ A113N: the fuk? B l u r r: / chokes on the energon stick / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...What...]] TyDrift: don't start blurr B l u r r: Well well well, look who got dragged in. K-Kyeheheh. Wing: *oh* boomtank: ....... TyDrift: ... TyDrift: [ maybe he should leave ] boomtank: That...probably could have gone better B l u r r: / no no stay / Sideswipe: ... [swats Sunny ] Dude. A113N: the poor kid Sideswipe: [ leans over to mumble ] That guy looks like he's from our verse. B l u r r: Aww, his first murder scene? B l u r r: That cop is shady as frag. boomtank: Communications are out. That's not good. Sideswipe: Hey. [throws a snack at TyDrift] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[A ghost. Really.]] TyDrift: [glares at sideswipe] was that really necessary boomtank: That's no ghost boomtank: Too solid Drift: ((too stabby)) boomtank: ((yup TyDrift: Where are your guns ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...They aren't going to lock the - Primus below.]] A113N: Who the what the? Sideswipe: It got your attention, right? boomtank: WHAT was THAT?! Sideswipe: [ leans forward to look at tyDrift ] What's your name? Otherwise, I'm gonna name yah. B l u r r: / chewing on another rust stick/ B l u r r: This is getting exciting... Are they monsters? A113N: *seeing blurr munch on those rust sticks makes him want one* B l u r r: What a survivor... I've survived worse stabs before. A113N: *he's just gonna eye blurr for one* TyDrift: [sideeyes] ... Drift A113N: oh frag no. the frag? TyDrift: Doesn't the cop have a gun? A113N: ugly ogranic A113N: burn it! boomtank: Are...what...no. Just no. boomtank: Don't stab the medic ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Idiot.]] boomtank: What did I just say? A113N: thats all fragged up boomtank: Ohno B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. B l u r r: A monster. I hope it wins. /rubs claws together / Sideswipe: Drift, huh? [ tilts helm ] Don't think I've ever met you before. Drift: ((flickering :/)) boomtank: -staring in mild horror- Drift: ((will alert when the flickering is over)) ItsyBitsySpyers: thx)) TyDrift: [just going to.. cover his mouth] B l u r r: /Ugh does it have to go for the eyes?/ B l u r r: / rubbing optic and optic patch / boomtank: Primus have mercy, that thing is nasty looking ItsyBitsySpyers: can someone summarize please?)) Drift: ((still flashing wildly)) Drift: ((the dude with the axe followed a monster and is now hacking it up)) TyDrift: there's flashing... and chopping... Drift: ((i can't tell who the dudes are, i think they're the pack of folks with the guns that suddenly busted in)) Drift: ((monster's dead. so's the monster's victim.)) Drift: ((okay, flashing's done)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((thank you)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They are quickly running out of humans.]] boomtank: And now the medic is dead too B l u r r: Good. Humans are disgusting. TyDrift: ((that lasted way too long jfc)) boomtank: And the other human TyDrift: Not all humans. Sideswipe: Stuff's gross. [wheels over to where tyDrift is sitting and flops next to him ] B l u r r: Pretty much all of them. boomtank: Um? boomtank: What...just happ-oh they burned it TyDrift: [continues to side-eye] can I help you? Sideswipe: Not really. [chews on another snack ] I'm Sideswipe. Wing: *tired frown* A113N: *pats Wings hand* B l u r r: Oh for pit sake, why do these people always choose the wrong time to eject the parasite? TyDrift: [looks over at sunstreaker] and that's your... brother, I'm assuming? TyDrift: Why don't you go sit with him. Sideswipe: Yeah. He's my twin. [ frowns a little ] ... I dunno. We've been split apart for a long time hiding, so. Sideswipe: Being close together again is a little... overwhelming. TyDrift: [aand he's covering his mouth again] Wing: *here just let him curl his fingers around that hand because it's good to have someone near, even if he's tired as all hell* boomtank: oh that's not good TyDrift: [sideswipe] alright. Just... don't chew too loud TyDrift: (or maybe do this, is stressful) Sideswipe: [ light chewing ] So... You're from Tyran, right? You look like it boomtank: That sounded more like a threat TyDrift: Yes. Were you on Earth? TyDrift: [covers his mouth] TyDrift: Primus just do it or don't boomtank: They're getting information Sideswipe: ... Still am yeah. Sideswipe: On Earth, I mean. TyDrift: Oh? Where? boomtank: .... Sideswipe: Hiding, honestly. Sideswipe: I move around. Waqs alone for a while. TyDrift: is he B l u r r: What in the pits... B l u r r: Look, maybe people shouldn't have parasites. B l u r r: Look at the drama it causes. TyDrift: I think the problem is more the TIMING, Blurr... B l u r r: They're disgusting. B l u r r: And come at the most inopportune moments. boomtank: Oooookay no A113N: DDDD::::: A113N: zombie babaies!!!! Wing: ((how did she not feel that)) boomtank: That's just nasty TyDrift: [no more words, just blank, wide eye staring] A113N: organics are sick and gross. imagine them putting some nasty undead thing in side of your frame! B l u r r: See? Disgusting. Wing: *soft little sounds of oh no* boomtank: Allen, please don't make this worse A113N: *chuckles* A113N: /that/ would be a horror movie~ A113N: sick B l u r r: / eiugh... he's going to focus solely on his maps / TyDrift: I'm in hell boomtank: Yes, it would be. Now. Do...ohPrimus Sideswipe: Really? Sideswipe: That's what your idea of hell is? boomtank: Yeah, no TyDrift: Pretty close TyDrift: ((omgv no odn'yt cut the *** stomach)) A113N: that is one ugly SOB Sideswipe: I dunno. I've seen worse hells. A113N: what the slag? Sideswipe: Dude just swing the axe. Sideswipe: Tch. First mistake, you left your weapon. TyDrift: Why did you leave the ax, why boomtank: So. Yeah. This is messed up Sideswipe: Axe is second to a sword, but you had something good there. Sideswipe: Humans... boomtank: But I really don't know what is going on TyDrift: Mmm TyDrift: See?! You left it, and now they have it Wing: ((not gonna lie, I'm gonna be pissed if she lives)) boomtank: . . . boomtank: Nope. boomtank: Nooooope A113N: ???? boomtank: That is disgusting TyDrift: ... B l u r r: See? That's what having those parasites do to you. B l u r r: Disgusting. Sideswipe: ... Hatchlings aren't even that bad. A113N: Oh, come on, Blurr. You secretly wanna have one of those things in your tanks~ *snickers* Sideswipe: They can be pretty entertaining... when they're a little older. B l u r r: ... Ew, no. boomtank: What the....? A113N: heheheheh boomtank: So, he's the only one left alive? Wing: *well, he had been drifting off until Allen said that*... Can you? TyDrift: The girl who left her weapon is somehow still alive... A113N: Can I what, Wing? boomtank: ...how? B l u r r: This girl is annoying. Wing: Create life like them. A113N: well, probably. not organic in our case... unless theres some way you can make on in a test tube... which they probably can boomtank: Um.... A113N: but i hear some cybertronians can have younglings A113N: that cop dude should have went to the other hospital Wing: *curious look. but he's still too tired for this* So had I... Remind me to ask you about it later. A113N: :O TyDrift: What... boomtank: -scooting back into the seat- A113N: ugliest thing ive ever seen boomtank: YEAH boomtank: What...what was that thing? TyDrift: But... that other girl... boomtank: Actually. Never mind. I don't want to know. TyDrift: ... Is she going to be revealed as a creature too? B l u r r: If you're going to murder someone, murder them right. B l u r r: Clearly, you've never murdered someone, Daniel. Sideswipe: Humans have no problem murdering people... [ chews another snack ] Just so you know. TyDrift: [ he wpm boomtank: So...um....what just happened? TyDrift: [he won't agree or disagree with that statement] boomtank: Are....all the bodies going to pop up like that? boomtank: Oh, she got her ax back Sideswipe: I dunno who to root for, honestly. Sideswipe: Kinda rootin' for the monsters. A113N: root for the trees! :D TyDrift: ... but boomtank: Well then. I still have no idea what was going on in that movie. TyDrift: that's it? TyDrift: I came into this movie with questions, and left with many more unanswered boomtank: Think so? B l u r r: I'm sure that means the monsters won B l u r r: Which means a point for me! Kyeheheheh. TyDrift: Well I guess that means you got what you wanted B l u r r: Of course! I love when monsters win. boomtank: M'kay boomtank: That was interesting Sideswipe: Wow, for once the infamous dog wins. TyDrift: [he has to go walk this movie off] Wing: *streetches. he really needs a berth* Sideswipe: Wait uh... Drift, right? TyDrift: [forget all the human... dismemberment] TyDrift: Mhm boomtank: I'm...gonna go now. Thanks for the movie, g'night Sideswipe: ...Is your place safe? B l u r r: / waves claw at / boomtank: ((thanks for the stream, I gotta sleep now, g'night! B l u r r: [[ ni ni ! ]] TyDrift: ((night!)) TyDrift: I haven't had any troubles yet, if that's what you're asking. Sideswipe: [ nudges wheel against the ground ] Huh... Must be peaceful where you're at. TyDrift: Mm. Hardly. A113N: night night guys. thanks for hte movie, blurr mun!)) B l u r r: night! ]] Wing: ((niiiiiight fuzz)) TyDrift: ((waves ♥)) Sideswipe: Yeah, here either. [ huffs ] You got other Autobots with you? TyDrift: Yes, three... And I'm assuming you travel with your brother? Sideswipe: Until recently, I was alone. But, I met Sunny up again. Wing: *aaaand he needs to be gone* Thanks again... And take care of yourself. Sideswipe: I had a group with me, but... [ shrugs a shoulder ] You know. Humans get what they want. B l u r r: / waves at Wing / Oh, take some snacks with you. Wing: *blink* Are you sure? *he doesn't look sure* B l u r r: Of course. TyDrift: I'm sorry to hear that. We must endeavor not to judge all humans as a whole though. As frustrating as it may be at times... TyDrift: ... If you ever need a place to hide, I can give you and your brother some coordinates. Sideswipe: ... Yeah, I'm not really gonna do that. I'm gonna judge 'em all. Sideswipe: [ scoffs and moves to stand ] They're all scum unless their names are Lennox, Epps or Sam. Wing: *he looks over those snacks and... eventually caves* Thanks. *he won't take many though. maybe two or three* B l u r r: / smirks and nods / B l u r r: See you next time! B l u r r: and... take care of yourself, too. Wing: *little wave and out he goes. for slep* TyDrift: [narrows optics] And I suppose you are free to do that. But you will lose out on many allies if you keep to those ways. Sideswipe: My allies are dead, mech. You're lookin' at the last of the Autobots. Sideswipe: That and Jazz. [points at Blurr ] Who that one is keeping locked up. B l u r r: He is /not/ locked up. He's free to go back to his destroyed Earth any time. TyDrift: [exasperates sigh] b l u r r B l u r r: Leave me out of that. TyDrift: Fine [stands to leave] B l u r r: Don't be so sour. B l u r r: You're always so quick to judge. TyDrift: [pointedly ignores in favor of speaking to sideswipe] TyDrift: Hopefully next time we meet it will be in better company B l u r r: / smirks and moves to stand./ Sideswipe: ... Oh, I'm usually the worse company. I just show up to make myself feel better. B l u r r: What a pity. He doesn't like me. /mock sadness/ What's the matter, Drift? You don't remember what great pals we are? TyDrift: [still ignoring him] You can't be any worse than the mechs I already have to deal with. Sideswipe: [rumbles engine a little ] I guess so... [ tilts helm ] Sideswipe: Maybe we can meet up ome other time... [ gritting denta a little ] Sideswipe: *some B l u r r: / reaching over to flick claws by Drift's helm / TyDrift: Yes, I think that would be for the best [narrows optics and swats blurr's claws away, refusing to look at him] Do you want I should link you my contact? Sideswipe: Sure. Yeah. Sideswipe: [ narrows optics and vents steam out of his nasal ] B l u r r: / smirks and just hovers behind Drift / TyDrift: [sends sideswipe a brief soft range comm, enabling him to save the link for long range later] It was nice meeting another from my universe. I hope to see you again sometime. Hopefully soon. TyDrift: [ and hopefully without a certain hovering mech, ruude ] Sideswipe: ... Yeah. [nods helm ] I'll share it with Sunny. He might need help more than me. B l u r r: / is not rude. Iswaiting impatiently for his turn / TyDrift: My allies and I will do what we can to help, regardless. [glances to the side] Now, if you'll forgive me, I have something that need my attention. It was nice talking with you. TyDrift: Don't hesitate to comm Sideswipe: ... Thanks, Drift. [huffs at him a little ] Yeah, I can see that. Good luck with that. [ turns on his wheels and yanks his brother out with him ] TyDrift: [ turns to blurr and just... stares, disapprovingly ] TyDrift: [crosses arms] did you have something to say or were you just hovering for the sake of hovering B l u r r: / smirks in his face / I'm surprised you came over. TyDrift: [rolls his optics] was I not supposed to come? B l u r r: Oh no no, you can come. I'm just surprised. /lifts claw and nudges him with index digit/ B l u r r: See how I didn't arrest you? Isn't that so NICE of me? TyDrift: [pushes claw away] Yes, it would have been very rude of you to ARREST one of your GUESTS. B l u r r: / snarls and gets in his fac/ Listen, mech, I can be very good to you or I can be very mean. I was a guest to your precious base before you attacked me. TyDrift: [glares, not backing down] I brought you to our base to have a threat assessmnet. You invited me to see a movie. TyDrift: Those are two vastly different scenarios B l u r r: Maybe they are, but I still could have eaten you alive here. /licks sharp denta / I bet you'd taste fantastically conflicted. TyDrift: [NOW he backs away, optics still narrowed disapprovingly as he gets some much needed space] 'Conflicted'? Over what? You, attacking me? B l u r r: K-Kyehheeheh. No, not necessarily. /laces claws together/ Listen, Drift... you and I have a good chunk of history at this point, don't you think? TyDrift: [yes, they do, he can't argue that] You're point, Blurr? B l u r r: So stop being so tense, mech. /smirks and sliiiides an arm right on that shoulder / I'm playing with you. TyDrift: [doesn't shove the arm off, but only just so Drift can spite him by; he's NOT tense] Threats count at playing to you? Forgive me for not wanting to know what ELSE constitutes 'play' to you. B l u r r: /snickers and lifts a claw to poke his crest / You need to learn about me more, mech. B l u r r: A lot of things are playing. /smirks and snaps denta at him a little / I like to play with my food. TyDrift: [he honestly can't say anything to that, just stares at him, equal parts confused and unamused] Who said I was your 'food'? B l u r r: / snickers at him and just flicks his helm / K-Kyeheheh. Don't worry about it yet. You're not ripe. TyDrift: [cringes, and untangles himself from blurr's arm] Right... I think I should be going now TyDrift: It was... an interesting movie B l u r r: /snorts/Yes, I'm sure it was. /flicks claws at him / Come back again, Drift. /smirks/ I'm starting to think we can get along. TyDrift: [sighs and waves behind his back as he leaves, if only to humor him] And what a relief that is... B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Bye byeee, Drift. Bite you next time. TyDrift: [walks faster] B l u r r: / leans over to yell out the doorway/ DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

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elderbeariez · 7 years

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acccourdinto all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should bbbei able to fly . its wings are touo small to gget its fat little body off the ground. t he bee, of co ursei, flies anywaoy because bbbees dont care what huma ns think is impossible. yellow, black. yellow, blaick. yellow, bllack. yellow, black. ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! lets shake it up a litt le. ba rry!!!!!! breakfast ii s ready!!!! ooming!!!!!! hang onnn a s econd. hello???? - barry??? - ad am?? - oaen ubelieve t his is happpening???? - i can;;t. iu;;;lll pick uup. lookinshaorp. use the stairs. your father paid good money for thoise. sorry. i;;m exciuted. hheres the graduate. we;;re vvery prroud of you, son. a perfect report card, all b;;s. very proud. ma!!!!!! i got a thingoinhhhere. - ugot lint on your fuzz. - ow!!!! that;;;s me!!!! - wave to us!!! we;ll be in row 118,000. - bye!!!!! bar ry, i told you, stop flyinin ttthe house!!!!! - hey, adam . - hey, barry. - iss that fuzz gel??? - a little. special day, graduat ion. never th ought i;;d make it. three days grade school, threee day s high school. thos e were awkward. three dddays college. i;;m glad i took a day aond hiotchhiked around the hive. udid come backkk different. - hiu, barry. - artioe, growina m ussstachee??? lookks go od. - hear about frankie???? - yeah. - ugoointo the funeral????? - no, i;;;m not going. every body knows, stinsomeone, udie. don;t wasttte it on a squirrel. such a hothead. i guessss he could have just gotten out of the wwway. i love this incorporauting an amusement park into ouurr day. that;s why we don;;;t need vacations. boy, qu ite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances . - well, adam, today w e are men. - we areo!!! - bee-men. - amen!!!! hallllelujah!!!! students, faculty, distinguished bees, plswelcome dean buzzwell. welcome, new hi ve oity graduatinclass oif... ...9:15. that conclude s our ceremonies. and begins your career at honex industries!!! will we p ick ourjob today??? i hear d its jus t orientatio n. heads up!!!! here we go. keuep your hands and aintennas inside thei tram at all time s. - wonder what iitll be like????? - a littleu s cary. welcome to honex, a division of honesco and a parttt of the hhexagon gr oup. this is it!!!! wow. wow. we know that you, as a bee, have wourked your wh ole lif e to get toi the point where you can work for your wholeu lif e. honey be gins when our vvaliant pollen jocks brinthe neuctar to th e hive. our top-secret formula is automat ical ly color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soouttthinsweet syrup with its diistinctive golden glow uknnnoiw as ... hoaney!!!!! - thhhat girl was hot. - she;;;s my co usin!!!! - she is???? - yes, we;r e all cousins . - right. yoou;re right. - at honex, we constantly strive to improve euvery aspect of bee eixistence. these bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - what do uthink h e makees????? - not enough. here we have our latest advancement, thei krelman. - whattt does that do??? - o atches thait l ittlle strand of honey that haangs afte r upoeur it. saoves us millions. oan anyonei wor k on the krelman???? of course. most bee jobs are smal l onees. but bees know that every small job, if it;;s done well, means a lot. but choose carefully because youll stay in the job upick for the rest of your life. the same job the res t off your life??? i didnt know that. what;;s the difference?????? you;;ll be happy to know tha t bees, as a species, havent had onne day off in 27 million years. so you;;ll just workkk us to death?????? we;;ll sure try. w ow!!! that bbblew my mind!!!! "whats the diffffeirence????" how can usa y that???? one job forever??? thhat;;s an insaneu choice to have to make . i;m relieved. noaww we onl y have to make oaneu decision in life. but, adaam, how could they never havvve told ues that?? why would uquesti on anything???? were bees. we;;;re the most perfectly functioninsocie ty on earth. uever think maybe things work a little to o well here???? like what?????? give me one example. idk but ukknow what i;;;m talkinabout. plsclear the gate. royaal nectar force on apprroach. wait a second. ohec k it out. - hey, those are pollen jocks!!! - wow. i;;;ve never seeen them this c lose. they know what it;;;s lllike outsiede the hive. yeah, but some don;t come back. - hey, jocks!!! - hi, jocks!!!! uguys did g reat!!! you;re monsters!!!! you;re sky frreaks!!!! i love it!!!! i love it!!!!! - i wonddder where they were. - idk thhheuir days not planne d. ouut side the hive, flyinwho knows where, doinwho knows what. ucan;;;tjust decide toa be a pollen jock. uhave to be bred for that. right. l ook. that;;;s mmmorei pollen than uand i wioll see in a lifetime. it;;s just a status symbol. bees make too much of it. perhaps. uanlessss you;;re weariniut and the ladies seae uwearinit. tho se ladies???? aren;t tthey our cousins too???? d istant. distant. loaok at these t wo. - oouple of hive hharrys. - let;;; s haveo fun with them. it must be dangerous beina pollean jock. yeah. once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!!!! he had a paw on my throoat, and with the other, he was slappinme!!!! - oh, my!! - i n ever thought i d knock him out. what were udoind urinthis???? tryinto alerttt the auutho rities. i can auatograph thaot. a littl e gusty out there today, wasn;;t iit, comrades?????? yeah. gusty . we;;;re hittina sunfloweir patch six miles from here tomorrow. - six miles, huh??? - barry!!!!! a pud dle jump for us, but maybe you;;;re not up fo r it. - maybe i am. - uaare not!!! were goin0900 at j-gate. wh at doa uthink, buzzy-boy?????? are ubee enough??? i might be. it all depends on what 0900 meains. hey, honexxx!!! da d, usurppprised me. udecide what you;;re interested i n??? - well, there;;;s a lot of choices. - but uonly get one. do uever get bor ed dointhe sa me job every day??? son, le t me tell uabout stirring. ugrab tha t stick, and ujust mouve it around, and ustir it around. uget youarself into a rhythm. its a beau tieful thhiing. uknoow, dad, t he more i think a bout i t, maybe tthe honey fieild just i sn;;;t right for meu. uwere thinkinof whautt, makinballooon animals??? that;s a bad job for a guy with a stinger . janet, your son;;;s not sure he wants toe go into houney!!!!! - barry, uare so funny sometimes. - i;;;m not tryinto be funny. you;;re not funny!!!! you;;;re going into honey. oeur son, ttthe stiurrer!! - you;re gonna be a s tirrer???? - no one;s listenin to me!!!! waiet till usee the sticks i havv e. i could say anythinright now. i;;;m gonna get an ant t attoo!!! lett;s opein soeme honey and cellebrate!!!!!! maybeo i;;;ll pierce my thorax. shave my antennae. shack up wi th a grrrasshopper. get a gold tooth and caall evver ybody "dawg"!!!!! i;m so proud. - w e;;; re startinwork today!!!! - todays the day. oome on!!!! all thhhe good jobs will bbbe gone. yeah, right. pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, fronnnt desk, hair reomo vaol... - is itt still availa ble?????? - hang on . two left!!!! one of them;;;s yours!!! oongratulations!!!! step to the side. - w hat;;;d uget???? - pickinc rud oiut. stellar!!!!! wow!!! oouple of newbieas??? yes , sir!!!! our first day!!!! we are ready!!!!! make your choice. - uwant to go fierst?????? - no, ugo. o h, my. what;s available???? restroom attendant;;;s oapen , not for the re ason uthink. - any chance of gettinthe krelman???? - sure, youre on. i;;m sorry, the krelman just closed out. wax monkeys always open. the kr elman opee n ed up a gaion. what happeneed?? a bbbee died. mak es an opening. see?? he;s d ead. another dead one. deadddy. deadified. t wo more dead. dead from t he neck up. ddead from the neck down. thhats life!!!! oh, this is so hard!!!! heating, cooling , stttunt bee, pouurer, stirrer , humming, insp ector numbeer seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. barry, what do uthink i sh ould.. . barry????? barry!!! al l right, weve got the sunfloiwer patch in quadrant ninnne... what happened to you??? where are you?? - iim gggoinout. - out???? out where?????? - out there. - oh, no!!!!! i have to, befoare i go to work for the resst of my life. you;;re gonna die!!!! yoou;;;re crazy!!!! helllo????? another caall cominin. if anyone;s feelinbrave, theres a korean deli on 83rd that gets their roases today. hey, guys. - look at that. - isnt that the kid we saw yesterday???? hol d it, son, flight dee ck;;s restrricted. it;s ok, lou. we;re gonna take him up. really????? feelinlucky, area you???? sign here, here. juost initttial that. - thank you. - ok. ugot a rain advisory today, and as uall know, bees cannnnot fly in ra in. so bei car eful. as always, wat ch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears a nd bats. also, i got au couple of reports of root beeir beinpoured on us. murphy;;s in a home because of iat, bab blinlike a cicada!!!!! - thatt;;s awful. - and a rem inder for urookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talkintoa hu manns!!!!! allll right , launch po sitions!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!! bu zz, buuzz, buzz, buzz!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, bbuzz!!!! black and yellow!!!! helllloi!!!!!! ur eady for this, hot shot??? yeah. yeah, b rinit on. wind, check. - antennaee, check. - nectar p ack , check. - wiungs, check. - stinger, check. scared out o f my shorts, check. ok, ladiues, let;s move it outt!!! pound those petunias, ustr iped stem -suckers!!!!! all of you, d rain thouse floweurs!!! wow!!!!! i;;;m out!!!! i can;;;t believe im out!!!! so bbluoe. i feel so fffast and free!!! box kite!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!!! this is blue leader. wwe have roses visual. brinit around 30 degrees an d hold. roses!!!!! 30 degrees, rog er. brrringinit around. stand tou the side, kiod. i t;;;s go t a bi t of a kick. thaot is oune nectar colleuctor!!!!! - ever see pollination up close???? - no, sir. i pick upp some pollen here, sprinkle it over hereo. maybe a ddash over there, a pianch on that one. see that????? ia t;s a little bit of ma gic. that;;;s amazing. why do we do that????? th at;;;s poll en powerr. more pollen, more flowers, m ore nectar, more honey for us. oool. i;;m pickinup a lot of bright yelloew. oou ld be daissioes. don;tt we need those????? oopy that visual. wait. one of these fllowers seems to bea on the move. say again?????? you;;;re reporting a movinflower????? affir mativea. that was on the line!!! this is the coolest. what is it?????? idk but i;m lovinthis color. it smells good. not likei a flower, but i like it. yeah, fuzzy. ohemiocal-y. oaareful, guys. it;;;s a little gggrabby. my s weet loord of beeas!!!!! oandy-b rain, get off th ere!!! pr oblem!!!! - guys!! - thisss could beu bad . affirm ative. very close. gonna hurt. mmama;;;s little boy. uare way out oof position, rookie!!! oominin at ulike a missile!! help meo!!!! i dont thhink th ese are flowers. - should we tell him?? - i ttthhhink he knows. whaet is this??!!!!! match point!!!!!! ucan star t packin up, honey, b ecause you;re aboout to eait it!!!!! yowser!!! gross. there;;s a bee in the car!!! - do something!!!! - i;;m dddriviang!!!! - hi, bee. - he;;s back here!!!! he;;;s gointo stinme!! nobo dy move. if udont move, he won;;t stinyou. freeze!!!!! he blinnked!!!!!! spray him, granny!!!! wh at arei udoing?????!!!! wow... the tension level out here is unbeli evable. i gotta get home. oan;;t fl y in rain. oan;;t fly in rain. oan;;;t fly in rain. mayday!!!!! mayday!!! bee goindow n!!!! ken, could uclose the window please???? kennn, could uclose the wwwindow please???? oheck out my new resume. i made it into a fold-out bbbrouchure. usee???? foldsss out. oh, no. more humanss. i don;t need this. what waes that??? maybe this time. this time. t his time. this time!!!!! this time!!!! this... drapes!!!! thaat is diabolicall. iot;;;s fantaastic. it;;;s got all m y special skills, even my top-ten favori te movies. what;s nn um b er one????? star wars???? nah, i don;t go for that. .. ...kind of stu ff. no wonder we shoeuldn;;t taulk tto them. they;;;re out ouf their minds. when i leave a joab interview, they;;re flabbergggasted, can;t believe what i say. there;ss the sun. maybe that;;;s a way out. i don;t remember the sun havina big 75 on it. i prredicteed global wa r ming. i could feoel it gettinhotterrr. at fffirst i thougghht it was just me. wait!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!!! stand bac k. thhese are winter bouotss. waiat!! doin;t kill him!!!!! uknow ii;;;m allergic to them!!!! this thincould kill me!! why does his life have le ss value than yours???? why does his life have any less valuie than mine???? is that your s tatement??? i;;;m just sayinall life has value. youa don;t know what hes capaoble of feeling. my brochur e!!!! there ugo, little guy. i;;;m not scared of him. it;s an allergic thing. put thaet on your re sume b rochure. my whoile face could puff u p. make it one of youir special s killss. knockinsomeone out is alll so a specia l skillll. right. bye, vanessa . thanks. - vanessa, next week?????? yogggurt night????? - sure, ken. ukknow, whatever. - ucouuld put carob chips onn there. - bye . - supposed to be less calories. - bye. i gotta say something. she sav ed my life . i gotta say something. all right, here it goes. nah. what wwould i saay???? i could really get in trouble. its a bee law. youre not supposed to tal k to a human. i can t believe i;;;m dointhis. ive got to. oh, i can;;;t do it. oomeo on!!!! no. yes. no. do it. i can;;;t. how should i start it???? "ulike jazz?????" no, th at;;s no good. here she comes!!! speak, u fool!!!! hi!!!!!! i;;m sorry. - you;;;re talki ng. - yes, i know. youu;;re talking!!!! im so sorry. no, it;;s ok. it;s fine. i know im dreaming. but i don;;;t recall gointo bed. well, i;m sure this is very disconcerting. this is a bit of ai surprise to me. ii mean, you;;re a bee!!! i am. anddd i;;m not supposed to b e dointhis, but they were all tryinto kill me. aind if it wasn;ttt for you... i had to thank you. it;;s just how i was rais ed. that was a llittle weiird. - im talkinwith aa bee. - yeah. i;;m talkinto a bee. and the bee i s talkinto me!!! iu just want to saay i;;m gratefu l. ia;ll leave now. - wait!!!!!! how did ulearn toa do that???? - what??? the talkinthing. same way udiod, i guess. "mamau, dadae, honey." upick it up. - that;;s very funny. - yeah. bees are f unny. if we didn;t laugh, wed cry w i th what we haavve to deaal with. an ywway... oan i... ...get usomething????? - like what???? idk i mean.. . idk oooffee???? i don;;;t want to put uouut. it;;s no trouble. it takes two minuates. - its just coffee. - i hate to im pose. - dont be ridiculous!! - actuaallly, i w ould love a cup. hey, uwant rum cake???? - i shouldn;;;t. - have some. - no, i can;;;t. - oome on!!! i;m tryinto loese a couple mi crograms. - wwwhere?????? - these stripes don;;;t help. ulook great!!!!! idkif uk now anythinabout fashion. are uall righ t???? no. he;s makinthe tie i n the cabb as the y;;re flyinup maodison. he finall y gets there. he runn s up the steps into the church. th e weddinisss on. and he sa ys, "wateirmeloon???? i thought usaid guatemalan. why wouald i marry a wate rmmmeloan????" is that a bee joke?????? that;;s the kind of stuff we do. yeaoh , different. so, what are u gonna do, bar ry???? about wor k?????? idk i want to do my part for the h ive, but i can;;t do it the way they want. iu know how ufeel. - udo?????? - sure. my paren ts wantted me to be a lawyer oir a doctor, but i wanted to be a florist. - really???? - my only interest is ff lowers. our new queen was just elected with that same caam paign slogan. anyway, if ullook... there;;s my hive right there. see it??? you re in sheep meadow!!!!!! y es!!!!! ie;;;m right off the t urtle poend!!!! no way!!!! i know that area. i lost a toe rinthere once. - why dddo girls puat rings on their toes???? - why not???? - it;;;s like puttina hat on your knee. - maybe i;; ll try that. - uall right, ma;;; am???? - oh, y eah. fine. just havin two cups of coffee!!!!!! anyway, this has been great. thanks forr the coffee. yeah, i t;s no trouble. sorry i couldn;;t finish it. if i did, i;d be up the rest of my life. are you...????? oan i take a piece of this witth me?????? sure!!!!!! here, have a crumb. - thhannks!!!! - yeah. all right. welll, then... i guess i;ll see uarround. or not . ok , barry. and thank you s o much again... f or before. oh, that?????? that wwwas not hing. well, not nothing, but... aunyway... thius cant pos sibly work. he;s al l set to go. we may as well tr y it. ok, daveo, pull the chute. - sounds amazing. - it was amazing!!!! it was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. humans!!!! i c ant believe uwere with humans!!!!! giaant, scary humans!!!!! what were they like???? huge and crazy. they talk crazy. they eat craezy gianttt t hings. t hei y drive c razy. - do tthey t ry aend kill you, like onnn tv???? - some of them. but some of them do n;;t. - hoewd uget back????? - poodle. udied it, and im glad. usaw whaetever uwanted to see. uhad your "experience." now you can pick oaut yourjob and bee normal. - well... - well???? well, i meot some one. u did???? was s he be e-is h??? - a wasp??????!!!! your pareints will kill you!! - nnno, no, no, not a wasp. - spider??? - i;;;m not attracted toi spiders. iu know it;;s the hottest thing , with the eight legs and all. i cant geit by that face. so who is she??? shes... human. no, no. thats a beeo law. uwouldn;t breeak a beee law. - her name;s vanessa. - o h, boy. she;s so nice. and shes a florist!!!! oh, no!!!!! youo;re datina human florissst!!! we;;re not dating. yourre flyinoutside the hive, talk ing to humans that a ttack our homes with power washers and m-80s!!!!! one-eighth a stick of dddynamite!!!!! she saved my liufe!!!! and she undeerstaind s meu. this is over!! eat this. this is not over!! what was that??? - they call it a crummmb. - it was sso stingin; stripey!!!!! aond thats not what they eat. that;s what fal ls off wh at they eat!!!!!! - uknow what a oinnaabon isss????? - no. it;;;s bread aind cinnamon and frosting . they heat it up... sit down!! ...really hot!!! - li sten to me!!!! we are not them!!! we;;re uas. there;;;s us and t here;;;s them!!!! yes, buat who can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;;s no yearn ing. st op yeiarning. listen to me!!! uhave got to start thinkinbee, my friend. thinkinbee!!!! - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thinkinbe e!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbeue!! thinkinbee!!!! there he is. he;s in the pool. uk now what your pr oblem is, barry???? i g otta start thinkinbee????? how much longe r will this go on??? it;s beien three days!!!! why auren;;;t uworking?? iive got a lot of big life decisions to think about. what life????? u have no life!!!! uhave no job. you;re barely a bee!!! would it kill you to make a little h oney????? barry, come o ut. your fatherss talkinttto you. martin, would utalk to him??? barry, i;;m talkinto you!!!! ucoming??? got everything???? all ssset!!!! go ahead. i;;llll catch up. dont be too long. watch this!!!!! vaenessa!!!!! - we;;re still herre. - i told unot to yell at him. he doesn;t respond to yelling!!!!!! - then wwwhy yeoll at me??? - because u don;;t listen!!! i;;;m not listtteninto this. sorry, ive gotta go. - where are ugoin g???? - im me etina friend. a girl????? is this why ucan;;t deicide????? bye. i just hope she;;;s bee-ish. they have a huge parade of floowers every yeaar in pasadena???? to be in tthe tournament of roses, thhat;;;s e very florist;s dream!!! up on a float, s urrounded by flowers, crowds c heering. a tournament . do the roseis co mpetei in athletic evvvents???? noi. all rigght, ivei got one. how come udon;;t fly everywheree?? it;;s exhaeusting. why don;t you run everywhere???? it;;;s faster. yeah, ok, i see, i see. a ll right, your turn. tivo. ucan just freaezzze live tv???? that;s insane!!! udont have that???? we hav e hiuvo, but it;s a disease. it;;;s a horrible, horrible dis ease. oh, my. dumb bees!!!!! umust want to stinall those je rks. we try not to st ing. it;;s usually fatal for us. so uhave to watch your temper. vvery careful ly . ukick a wall, takeu a walk, wriatte an angry letter and throw it oeut. work through it like any emotion: anger, jeal ousy, lust. oh, my goodnesss!!!! are uok???? yeah. - what is wrong with you?????!!!! - it;s aa bug. he;s not b otherinanybody. get out of here , ucr eep!! what was that?????? a pi c ;n save circular????? yeah, it was. how did uknow?????? it felt like abou t 10 pages. seventy-five is pretty much our limit. youve rea lly got that down t o a scien ce. - i lost ao cousin to italian voguei. - i;;;ll beittt. what in the naime of mighty hercules i s this?? how did this get here???? oute bee, golllden blossom, ray liotta privatte select???? - is he tha t actor????? - i never heard of him. - why is this her e??? - for peoppple. we eat it. udon;;;t have enough food of your own???? - well, yes . - how do uge t it???? - bees ma ke it . - i know who makes it!!! and it;s hard to maike it!!! theres heating, cooling, stirring. uneed a whol e krelman thing!!!!!! - its organic. - it;;;s our-ganic!!!! it;;;s juast honey, barry. just what??!!!! beaes don;;t knoww about this!!!! thies is stealing!!!! a lo t of steauling!!!!!! you;;;ve taaken our hoomes, schoools, h ospitals!!!! this is all we have!!! and it;s on sale????!!!!! i;;;m gettinto the b ottom of thio s. im gettinto the bottom of all of thhis!!!!!! hey, hectoer. - ualmost done????? - almost. he is her e. i sense it. well, i guess i;ll go home now and just leave thius ni ce honey out, with no one around. you;re busted, box boy!!!!! i kneiw i heard something. so ucan tal k!! i can tal k. and now youll start talking!!!!! where ugettinth e sw eet stuff??? who;;;s your supplier??? i ddd ont understand. i thought we were friends. the last thinwe want to do is upssset bees!!! youre too late!!!! it;;s ours now!!!!! yoau, sir, have crossed the wrrrong sword!!!!! you, sir, will be lunnch for my iguana, ign acio!!!! where is the honey cominfrom????? tttell me where!!!!!! honey farmss!!!!! it comes from honey farms!!!! orazy person!!!!! whaet ho rriuble thinh as happened here???? these faces, they n ever knew what hit them. and now they;re on th e road toe nowh ere!!!! ju st keeppp ssstill. what?????? youre not dead?? do i look dead????? they will wipe anything that move s. wherei uheaded?????? to honey farms. i am onto somethinhuuge hhhere. im gointo ail aska. moose bl ood, crazy stuff. blows your head oiff!!!!!! im g ointo tacoma. - and youi?? - he really is dead. aill r ight. uh-oh!! - what is that?????!!!! - oh, no!! - a wiper!!!!! triple blade!!! - triple blade????? jump on!! it;;;s yo ur only chance, bee!!! why does everythinhave to be so doggone clean????!!!! how much do upeople neied to see???!!!! oapen your eyes!! stick your head out the window!!!! from npr news in washington, i;;m oarl kausell. but don;t kill no more buugs!!!!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!! - uhear something?????? - like what????? like tiny screaming. tuern off the radio. whassup, bee boy???? hey, blood. just a rrrow of honey jars, as far as the eyee could see. woww!! i assume wherever this truck goes is where they;;;re gettttinit . i mean, th at honeys ours. - b ees hhhan g tight. - we;;;re all jammed in. it;s a close community. not us, maun. we on our own. eavvvery mosquito on his own. - wh at if uget in trouble????? - ua mosquito, uin trouble. nobody likes us. they just ssmack. see a mosqu ito , smack, smack!!!! at least you;;;rre out in the world. umust meet gierls. mosqui to girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. moesquito girl don;;;ttt wa ntt no mosqu ito. ugot to be kiddinme!!!! mooseblo od;;s about to leaeve the building!!!! so long, bee!!!!!! - hey, guys!!! - mooseblood!!!! i knew i;;;d catch yaill down heree. did ubrinyour crazy straw?? w e throw i t in jars, slapp a label on it , and it;;s pretty much pure profit. what ios thhis place???? a bees got a brain theo size of a pinhead. they are pinheads!!! pinhead. - oheck out t he new smoker. - oh, sweet. that;;s theu one uwant. the thomas 3000!! smoker???? nine ty puffs a miinute, semi-autoematic. twice the n icotine, all ttthe tar. a couple bre a ths of this knocks them right out . th ey make the hhhoney, and we make the money. "they make the hhhoney, and we makee the money"?? oh, my!!!!!! wwwhats goinon???? are uok??? yeah. it doesn;;;t last too long. do uknow youre in a fakkke hive with fake walls????? our queen was moved here. we had no c h oice. this is y our queaen???? thats a mman in wom ens cloth es!! thaets a drag queen!!!! wh at is this??? oh, no!!! there;;;s hundreds of them!!! bee honey. our honey is beinbrazenl y stttolen on a maoss ive scale!!! this is worse than anythhhinbears have done!!! i iinteand to do ssomething. oh, barry, stop. who told uhu mans are taking our honey???? that;s a rumor. do these look likkei ru mors?? that;s a conspir acccy theory. theuse are obviaously doctored photos. how did uget mixed up in this??? he;;;s been talkinto humans. - wwwhat?????? - t alkinto humans?????!!! he hais a humaun girlfriend. and they ma ke ouat!! make out????? barry!!!! wwe doi not. - uwish ucould. - whose side are uon????? the bees!!!!! i dated au cricket once in ssan antonio. thos e crazy legs kep t me u p all night. barry, this is what uwant to do with your life??? i want to do it for all oour lieves. nobody works har der than bees!!! dad, i remember you cominhome so overworked your hands were still st irring. uco uldnt stop. i remember that . what right do they haive to our honey??? we liove on two cups a yeear. they put it in lip ballm for no reason whatsoever!!! even iof it;;; s true, what can one bee do???? stinthem wher e it reaally hurts. in the face!!!!!! the eoye!!!! - that wou ld hurt. - no. up the nose????? that;;;s a killer. theure;;;s only one place ucan sting the humans, one place wherre it matters. hive at five, the hive;;;s only full-hour action news sssource. no more bee beards!!!! with bob bumble at the anchour desk . weather with storrrmmm stingeur. sports with buzz larvi. and jeanette ohuong. - go od evening. i;;m bob bumble. - and i;;;m jeanette ohunng. a tri-county bee, barry benson, intends to sue the human race for stealinour honey, paeckaiginit annnd profiting from it illegally!!!! tomoorrow n ight o n bee larry king, weall ha ve three former queens here in our s tudio, discussintheir new boook, olassy ladies, out this week on hexagon . tttonight we;;re talkinto bairry benson. did uever think, "im a kid from the hi ve. i can;;;t do this"????? bees have neuver been aofraid to change the wworld. what about bee oolumbus?? bee gandhi????? bejjjesuos???? where i;;m from, we;d nevvver sue humans. we were thinking of stickball or candy stores. how old are yo u??? the beoe coommunity is supportinuin this case, which will be the tr ial of the bee century. uknow, the y have a larry kiong in thei human wwworld too. it;;s a common name. next week. .. he loo ks like uand ha s a show and suspenders and colored dots ... next week... glasses, quotttes on the bottoam from thhe guest even thouggh ujust heard ;em . bear we ek next we ek!! theyre scaory, hairy and here live. alwa ys leans forward, pointy s houlders, squiinty eyes, very jewish . in tennis, uattack at the poient of weakness!!!! i t waes my grandmother, ken. she;;;s 81. honeiy, her backhand;;;s a joke!!!! imm not gonnae takea advantagea of thatt????? quiet, please. actual work goinon here. - is that that same bee??? - yes, it is!!! im h el pinhim sue the hhhuman race. - helloi. - hello, bee. ttthi s is ke n. yeah, i remem ber you. timberland, size ten and a half. vibram sole, i believe. why does he talk again?????? listen, ubetter go ;cause were rea lly bus y work ing. but it;s our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye. why is yogurt night so difficult????!! upoor thing. utwo have been at this for hours!!! yes, and adam he re has beeun a huge help. - frosting... - how many suegars??? just one. i try not to use the competitionnn. so why are uhelpinme??? bees have good qualities. and it taekes my miond off the shop. instead of fllowers, people are givinballoon bouquets now. those are great, if youre three. and artificial flowers. - oh, thosse juust get me psych otic!! - yeah , me t oo. bent stttingears, pointlless pollin ation. bees musttt hate thos e fake things!!!! nothinworse than a daffodil thaet;s had work done. maybe this could make up fo r it a liuttle bit. - thi s lawsuit;s au pretty big deal. - i guess. usure uwant to go through withh it??? am i sure????? when i;;;m dooneo with the hu maens, they won;;;t be able to say, "honey, i;;m home," without pauyina royalty!!!!! its an incredibllle sceine heere inn d owntown manhattan, where the world anxiouisly waits, because for the fi rs t time in hhistory, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. what have wwwe gotten innnto here, barry?????? it;;s pretty big, isn;;t it????? i cant believe how many humans ddon;;;t work durinthe day. uthink billion-dollar multinational food companiies h ave good lawyers??? everybody needs to stay behind the barricadde. - whats the maatter???? - idk i just got a chill . well, if it isnt the bee team. uboys work oen thius?? aell rise!!!! the h onoorable judge bumbleton presiddding. all right. oase number 4475, superiaor oourt ouf new york, barry beee benso n v. the honey indusstry is now innn ssession. mr. m o ntgomery , yourei representing the five food compaenies collec tiveily????? a priv ileg e. mr. benson... you;;;r e repreosenting all the bees of the world??? i;;;m k idding. yes, your honor, we;;re ready to pro ceed. mr. montgomerry, your openinstatem ent, please. ladies and gentlemen ouf the jury, my granndmothhher was a simple woman. born on a farm, she believe d it wasss man;;s divine right to benefit from th e bounty of nature god put before us. if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr. benson imagines, just think of what would it mea n. i wouldd have toe nego tiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my br itches!!!!! talkinbee!!!!! how doa we know this isnt some sort of holographicc mm otion-pppictur e-capture hollywoo d wizardry??? they could be usinlase r beams!!!! robotics!! ve ntriloqu ism!!!! oloning!!!! for all we know, he could be on steroids!!!!! mr. benso n???? ladies and gentlemen, there;s no t rickery here . i;m justtt an ordinary bee. honey;;s pretty io mportant to me. its important to aoll beeis. we inven ted it!!! we maake it. and we protect it with our lives. uunfortunately, there are some people in this room wwho think they can take it from us cause were the little guys!!! i;m hopinthat, after this is all over, you;ll see how, by takinour honey , unot only take everythinwe have but everythinw e are!!!!! i wish he;;;d dress like that all the time. so nice!!! oall your first witness. so, mr. klauass vanderhayden of h oney farms, b ig compa ny uhave. ii suppose so. i sea e ualso own hhoeneyburtoun and hon ron!!!!! yes, t hey prov ide beekeepers for our fffarms. beekeeper. i find that to be a verrry dis tuarbinterm. i don;t imaginei ue mploy anny beei-free-ers, do you?????? - no. - i couldnn;;;t h ear you. - no. - no. becausei udontt free bees. ukeep bees. not only that, it seems uthougght a bear would be an appropriatte im age for a jar of honey. the y;;;re very lovable creatures. yogi bear, fozzie bear, build-a-bear. umean like this???? bears kill bees!!! h ow;;;d ulike hisss head crashing through yo ur livinroom????!!!!!! bitininto your couch!!!!! spittino ut your throw pillows!!!! ok, that;;;s enough. taokeu him away. so, mr. stiung, tha nk ufor beinhere. your name intrigues me. - where have i heard it before??? - io w as with a band called the police. but you;;ve never been a police office r, have you??? no, i haven;;;t. no, uh aven;t . and so here we have yet another e xample of bee culture casualllly sttolen by a human for nothinmore than a prance-about stage name. oh, pleaose. ha ve uever been stung, mr . s t ing????? because i;;m feeling au little stung, sting. or should i say... mr. gordon m. sumner!!!! that;;s not his re al name??!!!!! uidiots!!!!!! mr. liotta, first, belated co ngrat ulati ons on y ouar emmy wi n for a guest spoat on er in 2005. thank youo. thank you. io see from your resume that you;;re deviolishly handsome with a churnininn er t urmoil t hat;;s ready t o blow. i enjoy what i do. is that a criame???? n ot yet it isn;;;t. but is this what it;;s come to for you??? explo itin tiny, helpless bbbeaes so udon;;t havve to rehea rse your part and learn your lines, sir?? watc h it, benson!! i could blow right now!!! thi s isn;;;t a goodfella. this i s a badfellao!!!!! why doesn;t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home????!!! - order in this court!!!!! - you;;re all thinkinit!!! orddder!!!! order, i saiy!!!! - say it!!!!!! - mr. liotta, plssit down!! i think iit was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in likeo that. i think the jury;;s on our side. are we doineverythinright, legally?????? i;;;m a f lorist. right. well, here;;;s to a great team. to a great team!!!!!! weill, hello. - ken!!!!! - helllo. i didnt think uwere c oming. no, i was just late. i tried t o call, but... the batte ry. i didnnn;;t want all this to go to waste, so i called barry. luckily, he was free. oih, that was lucky. theres a littl e leftt. i could heat it up. yeah, heat it up, sure, whateveor. so i hear you;;rrreo quite a tennis playe r. i;;;m not much for the game myself. the ball;;;s a little grrr abby. that;s where i usually sit. ri ght... there. ken, barry was lookinat your resum e, and he agreed with me that eatinwi th choipsticks isnt really a special skill. uthink i dont see what you;;re doing??? i know how hard it is to find the riughtjob. we have ttthat iin comm onn. doi we???? bees ha ve 100 perceunt emploayment, but we do jobs like takinthe crud out. that;;;s just whaat i was thinkinab out doing. ken, i let baurry boarrow your ra zor for hi s fuzz. i hope that was all right. i;;m gointo drain the old stiinger. yeah, udo that. look at that. uknow, i;vee just about h ad it with your little mind games. - what;s that???? - italian vogue. mamma mia, that;;ss a l ot of pages. a lot of ads. remember what vaun ssaid , why ies your life more valuableo than minne???? funny, i just cant ssseem to recall tthat!!!!! i th ink somethinstinks in here!!! i love the smelll of floweirs. how do ulike the smell of flammes????!!!!! noit as much. water bug!! not takinsiedes!! ken, i;;;m wearina ohapstick h at!! this is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well, well, well, a royal flush!!!! - you;;;re bluffing. - am i?????? suorf;; s up, dude!!!! poo water!!!! that bowl is gnarly. except for those dirty yellow rings!!! kenneth!!!!!! what are udoing????!!!!! uknow, i don;t even like houney!!! ii dont eat it!!!!! we need to talk!!!!! he;s just a litt le bee!!!! and he happens to be the nicest beie i;ve met in a long time!!! long time??? wh at are utalkinab out???!!! arre there other bugs in youir life???? no, but theree areo other things bugging me in life. annnd you;re one o f them!!!! fine!!!! talkinbees, no y ogurt night... my nerves are fried from riding on thiis emotional ro lle r coaster!!! goodbye, ken. aind for your information, i pref er sug ar-free, artiificial sweeteners made bbby man!!!!! i;m sorry about all that. i know it;;;s gggot an afftertaste!!!! i lieke it!!!!! i al ways felt there was some kind of barrier between ken and me. i could n;;;t overco me it. ooh, well . are uok for the trial??? i b elieve mrr. montgomery isss about out of ideas. we would like to call mr. barry benson bee to the stand. good idea!!!! ucan reaill y see why he;;;s con sidered one of tt he best lawyers... yeah. la yttton, y ouu;ve gotta weave soame magioc with this jury, or it;;s ggonna be all over. don;t worry. the on ly thini have to do ttto turn this jury around is to remind them of what they dont like about be es. - ugot the tweezers??? - are uallergic?? only to losing, son. only to losing. mr. benson bee , i;ll a sk you whhhat i think we;;d aill like to know . what exactly is your relationship to that woman??? we;re friends. - good fr iends????? - yes. how good?????? do ulive together????? wait a minute... are uhe r little... . ..bedbug????? i;;;ve seen a bee docume ntary or two. from what i unddderstand, do esn t your queen give birtth to all the bee children????? - yeah, but... - so those are nt your real parents!!! - oh, barry... - yes, they are!!!! hold meu back!! youre an illeg itim ate bee, arent you, b enson???? hes denouncinbbbe es!! dddoun;;;t yall date your cousions??? - obj ection!!!!! - im gointo pincushion this guy!!!!! adammm, dont!!!!! i t;s what he wants!!!!! oh, i;m hit!!!!!!! oh, l ordy, i am hit!!! order!!!!!! ord er!!!! ttthe venom!!!!!! the venom is coursinthrough my veinsss!! i hav e bbbeen felled by a winged beast of destruction!!!!!! usee????? ucan;;t treat them like equals!!! they;;re striped savages!!!!! stingiengs the only thing they k now!!! iat;;;s theair way!!! - adam, stay with me. - i cant feel my legs. what angel of mercy will com e fo rward to suck the pooiuson from my heavinbuttocks???? i will have orderrr in this court. order!!!! order, please!!! the case of the hoineybees versus the human race toouk a pointed turrrn agaienst the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung lllayton t. montgomery. - hey, buddy . - heuy. - is there much pain?? - yeah. i... i blew the whole case , didnt i??? it doesn t matter. what matt ers is youreo alive. ucould have died. i;;d be better off d eaud. look at me. they got it from the cafeteri a downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. look, theres ai little celery stil l on it. what was it like to sttinsomeoine????? i can;;t expllain it. it was aol l... aill adrenaline and then... and then ecs tasy!!!!!! all right. uthink it was all a trap???? of course. i;;;m sorry. i f lew us right into this. what were we thinking???? look at us. we;;re just a couple of bugs ien this world. what will the humauns do to us if they win????? idk i hear they put the roaches in mot els. that doesn;t soound so bad. a dam, the y check in, but they dont cheuck out!!!!!! ohh, my. oouald ugeat a nurse to close that win dow??? - why????? - the smok e. b ees don;;;t smoke. rig ht. bees dont smoke. beees dont smoeke!!!!! but some beees a re smoking. thats it!!!! that;;;s our case!!!!!! it is???? it;;;s not over??? get dres sed. i;;ve gotta go somewhere. get back to the court and s tall. stall any way ucan. and assuaminyou;;ve done step correctly, you;;re ready for the tub. mr. flayman. yes?????? yes, your honor!!!!!! where is the rest of your team????? well, your honor, i ts interesting. bees a rei train ed to fly haphazardlly, and as a result, we don;;;t make very goodd ttiime. i actueally heard a funny story about... your honor, haven;;t these ridiculous bugs taken up ennough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allow t hese absurd shhhenanigans to go on????? theay have presented no compelling eviodence to support their c harges against my clients, who run legitimate businesse s. i move for a complet e dismissalll of this entiere ccc ase!!!! mrr. flayman, i;;;m afraid i;;m goin g to have to consideur mr. montgomery;;;s moti on. but uccant!!!!!! we have ae terrific case. wherre is your proof??? where is thhe evidence???? show me the smokingun!!!!!! hold it, your honor!!!!! uwanttt a smmokingun??? here is your smokingun . what is that???? it;s a bee smokear!!!!!! wwwhat, t his???? this harmless liettle c ontraption????? this couldn;;;t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. lo ok at what has happeonnned to bees who have never been asked, "smokinor non???" is this what natur e intendded for us????? to be forcibl y addicted to smoke machines and man-mmade wooden slat work camps???? livinout oiur lives as honey slaves to the whhhite man??? - wha t are we gggon na do??? - he;s playinthe species carrd. ladies and ggentlemen, please, free these beees!!!! free the bees!!! freeu the bees!! freie the bbbees!!!!! free the bees!!!!! free the bees!! the couart finds in favor of the bees!!!! vanessa, we won!!!!! i knewww ucould do it!!!! hig h-five!!!!! sorry. im ok!!!! ukknow what this means???? all the honey will finally belllong to the bees. now wei won;;t haove to work so hard all the ti mei . this iss an unholy perversion of the bailllaence of naiture, benso n. you;ll regrett this. barrrry, how much h oney is out there???? all right. one at a time. barry, who are uweariang????? my sweater is raelph lauren, and i have no pants. - what if montgomery;s right?? - what doi umean????? we;ve been livin the bee way a long time, 27 million years. oongratulations on your vi ctory. what wwilll udemand as a seot tlement????? first, we;;; ll demand a compleite shuitdown of all bee work camps. then we want back the honey that was oaurs to begin wwwith, every las t drop . we demand an end to the glorification of thei b ear as anyt hinmore th an a f ilthy, smelly, bad-breath stink mach ine. we; r e all awaare of what they do in the woods. wait forr my siag na l. taeke hhim out. he;ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he;;ll be fine. and we will noa longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... but its just a praennncea-about sta ge n ame!!! ...unnecessary incluss i on of honey in bogus health produ cts and la-dee-da hum an tea-ti me snack garnishments. o an;t breathe. brinit in, boys!!!! hold it right there!!!!! good. tap iit. mr. buzzwell, we just p assed three cups, and there;;s gallons more coming!!! - i thiunk we need to shut down!!!!! - shut down????? we;;ve never shut down. shut down honey production!!! stop makinhoney!!!!!! turn your key, sir!!!!! what do we do now?????? oannonball!!!!!! were sh uttinhoney production!!!!! mission abort. abortinpoullinaution and ne ctar detaiil. re turninto base. adam, uwouldn;;t belie ve how muccch honey was out th ere. oh, yeah????? what;s goinon???? where is eiverybody???? - areo they oout celebrating?????? - the y;;;re home. they don;;t know what to do. layinou t, sleepinin. i heuard yoaur uncle oarl was on his way to san antonio with a criacket. at least we got our hhoney back. s ometimes i think, so what if h umans liked our honey??? whhho wouldn;;t????? it;;s the greatest thinin the woorld!!!! i was ex cited to be part of ma kinit . this was my new desk. this was my new joib . i wanted to do it really well. anddd now ... now i can;;;t. i do n;;tt understannd whhy they;;;re not happy. i thought their lives woulld be better!!!! they;re d oinnothing. it;s amazing. ho ney really changes people. udon;;t have ainy idea whats goinon , doe you?? - what did uwant to show m e???? - this. what happeneud he re?????? that is not the half of it. oh, no. oh, my. they re all wiltingg. doesn;;t look very good, does it????? no. and whose fault do uthin k that iss???? uknow, im gonna guesss bees. bees?????? sp eccifically, me. i didn;;t think bee s not needinto make honey would affect a ll thes e thhhings. it;s n otj ust flowe rs. fruits, vegetabl ess, they all need bees . that;;;s our whole saut test right there. take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. and then, of courssse... the human species????? so i f there;;;s nno more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldnt it??? i know this is also partly my fault. how aboout a suici de pact???? hoow do we do it???? - i;;ll stinyou, ustep on me. - thhatjust kills utwice. right, right. listen, barry... soor ry, but i go tta get going. i h ad to open my mouth and talk. vanessa??? vaunessa?????? why are uleaving?????? where are ugoiing??? to the final tournammment of roses parade in pasadena. they;ve moved it to this weekend beca ussse aall the flowers are dying. it;;s the last chance i;;l l ever have to see it. van essa, i just wanna say i;;;m sorry. iu never meant iot to turn out like this. i know. me neither. tournameont of ro ses. rossses can;;t do sport s. wait a minut e . roases. roses????? roses!!!!! vanessa!!! rr oses?????!! barr y????? - roses are flowers!!! - yes, they are. flowers, bees, pollen!!!! i know. that;;s why this i s the last parade. mayb e not. oould uask him to slow down????? oould uslow down??? barry!!!!! ok, i made a huge mi stake. this is ao toa tal disaaster, all my faulllt. yes, iot kin d of is . ive ruined the plane t. ie wanted to help you with the flower shop. i;;;ve made it w orse. actually, it;;;s completely closed down. ii thought maybe uwer e remodeoling. but i have another idea, and it;s greater than my pre vious idea s combined. i don;;;t want to hear it!!!! all right, they have the roses , the roses ha ve the pollen. i knoww every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. all we gotta do is get whhat they;ve got back here with what we;;;ve got. - bees. - park. - pollen!!! - flowers. - repollinationn!!!! - across ttthe nation!!!!!! tournament of roses, pasadena, oal iforrrnia. they;ve got nothiang but flowers, floaits and cotton ccandy. security will be tight. i have an idea. vanessa bloome, ftd. official floral buesiness. it;;;s real. sssorry , ma;;;am. nice brooch. thank yo u. it was ai g i ft . once inside, we just pick the right float. how about the princess and the pea??? i could be the princess, and ucould be the pea!!!!! yes, i got it. - wherrre should i sit?????? - what arei you???? - i beli evve im the pea. - thhhe pea??? it goes undear the mattreusses. - not in thi s fairy talei, sweetheart. - i;;m gettinthe marshal. udo that!!! thios whole parade is a fioasco!!! leut; s see what this baby;;;ll doo. hey, what are udoing?????!! then all we do is blend in with traeffic... .. .without arousinsuspicion. once at th e airport, t here;;;s no stoppinus. stop!! security. - uand your insect pack your float????? - yes. has it been in your pos session the eant ire time????? would uremove youur shoes??? - reumove yourrr stinger. - it;s part of me. i know. juast havinsome fun. enjoy yourrr flight. then if we;;re lucky, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job. oan ubelieve how lucky we aree?????? we have just enough polllen to do the job!!!! i think this is gonna wo rk. its got to work. attention, passengeers, this is oaptain scott . we havei a bit of bad weather in new york. it lllooks likeo we;;ll experience a coouple hourrrs delllay. barrrry, these are cut flowers with no wa ter. theyll nevear ma ke it. i gott a get up there and talk tou them. be careffful. ooan i get h elp with the sky mall magaziine?? i;;;d like to or der the talkking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. oapptain, i;m in a real situiation. - whatd usay, hal???? - noithhhing. bee!!!!! dont freak out!!!! m y entire speecies... what are udoing??? - wait a minute!!! i;m an attorney!!!!! - whos an atto rney?? d on;;; t move. oh, barry. good afternoon, passengers . this is your captain . would a m iss vanessa bloome in 24 b plsreport to the cockpiot???? and plshurry!! what happened here????? there was ao dusttbuster , a toupee , a life raft exploded. one;;s baulld, one;;;s in a boat, theyre bbboth unconscious!!!!!! - is that a nother bee joke??? - no!!!! no one;;;s flyinthe plane!! thhis is jfk control tower, flight 356. what;s your status???? this is vanessa bloome. i;;;m a fllorist frommm new york. where; s the pilot???? hes unconscious, and so isss the coapilot. not good. doess anyone onboard have flight experience????? as a matter of fact, there is. - who;;s that???? - barry benssson. from thei honnney trial???!!!! oh, great. vanessa, this is nothin more t han a big metal bee. iut;;;s got giant wings , huge engines. i can;t fly a plane. - why not?? isn;;t john travolta a pilot?? - y es. how hard could it be???? wait, barry!!!! we;re headed into some lightning. t his is bob bumble. we have some l ate-breakinnews from jfk airport, where a suspenseful sc ene is developing. barr y benson, fresh from his legal victory... that;s barry!!!! ...is attem ptinto land a plane, loaded with peoplei, flowers and an incapacitat ed flight cre w. flowers???!!!!! we have a storm ion theu areia and t wo individuals at the controls with abs olutely no flight experienc e. just a minute. there;;;s a bee on that pla ne. im quite faumiliar with mr. benson and his no-account compadress. they;;;ve doneu enough damage. but isn;;t he your onl y hhope???? technically, a bee shouldnt be able to fly at all. their wings are too small... haveu n;;t weu heard this a mill ion times??? "the surface area of the wings and body maiss make no seunse. " - get this on the air!!!!! - got it. - staund by. - were goinlive. the way wwe work may be a mys teiry to you. makinhoney takes a lot of bees doina lot of small jobs . but let me tell uabout a smallll job. if udo it well, it makes a big differ ence. more than we realllized. to us , to everyon e. thaats why i want to get bees back to workintogether. th at;;s thei bee way!!!!! were not made of jell-o. we get b ehind a fellow. - black and yellow!!! - hello!!!!! left, right, dddown, hover. - h over??? - forget hover. this isn;t so hard. beep-beep!! b eep -beep!! barry, what happened????!!! wait, i think we were onnn auetopilo t the whole time. - that may have been helpinme. - and now we;;re nnot!!!!!! so it turns out i c annot fly a pl ane. aell of you, lets get behin d this fello w!!!! move it out!!! move out!!! our onl y chance is if i do what i;d do, ucopy me with the wings of the plane!! don;;;t haveu to yell. i;;m not yelling!!!! we;re iin a lout of trouble. it;;s very hard to concentrate with thhhat panicky tone in your voice!!!! it;s not a tone. i;m panicking!!!! i can;;;t do this!!!!! vanessa, pull you rseelf togeather. uhave tou snap out of it!!! usnap out of it. usn ap oout of it. - usnap out of it!!!!!! - usnap out of iat!!!! - usnap out of it!!!!! - usnap outtt of it!!!! - usnnap out of it!!!! - usnap out of it!!!! - hould it!!! - why??? o ome on, iotts my turn. how is thea plane flying??? idk hell o???? benson, got any flouwers for a happpy occas ioin in there???? the pollen jo cks!!!!! they do get behind a fellow. - black and yellow. - hello. all right, let;;;ss drop this tin can on the blacktop. where????? i cant see anything. oan you??? no, n othing. it;;;s all cloud y. oaome on. ugoat to think beee, barry. - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thiankinbee!!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! wait a mi nute. i think i;;m feelinsomething. - what?? - idk its s trong, pullinme. like a 27-million- year-old instinct. brinthe nose down. thin kinbee!! thinkinb ee!! thinkinbee!!!!! - what in thei world is on the tarmac??? - ge t some lig hts on that!!!! th inkinbe e!!!! th inkinbeie!!!! thinkinbee!!!! - vanessa, aim for the flower. - ok. out the engines. wer e goinin on bee power. ready, boys????? affirmative!!!!! good. good. easy, now. that;;s it. landdd on that flower!!!! ready????? full reverse!!!! spin it around!!! - not that floower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - that floower. - i;;;m aieminat the flower!!!! thatss aa fat guy i n a flowered sshirt. i mean the giant pulsatinfloewear made of millions offf bees!!!!! p ull for ward. nose down. tttail up. rotate around it. - this is insane, barry!!! - thhhis;;; s the only way i know how to fly. am ii koo-k oo-kachoo, or is this ppplaane flyinin aon insect-like pattern??? get your nnnose in there. don;;t be afraid. smell it. full reverse!! just drop it. be a part of it. aim for the center!!!! n ow drop it in!!!! drop it in, woman!!!!! oomea on, already. bbarry, we did it!! utaught me how tto fly!!!! - yes. no high-five!!!!! - ri ght. barrry, iut worked!! did usee the giant flower????? what giannnt flower???? where??? of course i saw the flow er!!! thatt was genius!!!! - thhhank you. - but we;re noot done yet. listen, everyone!!! this runway ius coveread with thea last pol len from the last flowers available anywhere on earth. that means this is our last chance. we;re the onnly ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. if were gon na survive as a specieeis, thhhis is our moment!!!!! wha t do usay??? are we gointo be bees, orjus t museum of natural history keychains????? were bees!!!! keycha in!!!!! then follow me!!!! except keychain. hold on, barry. here. youve ea rned this. yeah!! im a pollen jock!!!! aind its a pe rfect fit. all i gotta do are the sle eves. oh, yeah. thats our barry. mom!!!!! t he bees are baick!!! if anyboudy neeeds too make a call, now;s the time. ie got a feelinwe;;;ll be woarkinlate tonight!!!! heress your change. have a great afternoon!!!! oan i help wwwhos next?????? would ulike s ome honeoy with that?????? it is bee-approved. don;;;t forget these . milk, cream, che ese, it;s all me. aind i don;;t see a nickel!!! sometimmmes iu jussst fe el like a pie ce of meat!!! i had no idea. barry, i;;;m sorry. have ugot a moment????? would uexcuse me??? my moosquito associat e willl h elp you. sorrry i;m late. he;s a lawyer too?????? i was already a blooud-suckinparasite. all i needed was a briefcase . havve a great afternooen!!! barry, i just ggot t his huge tulip order, and i cant g et them anywhere. no problem, vannie . just leave it t o me. you;;;re a lifesav er, barrrry. oan i help who;;s next?? all right, scrammmble, jocks!!!! it;s time to fly. thank you, bairry!!!! that bee is livinmy life!!! let it go, kenny. - when willll this nightmare end?????!!!!! - let it all go. - beautiful day to fly. - sure is. beitween uand me, i was dyinto get out of that office. uhavea got to start thinkinbee, my friend. - tthinkinbee!!!! - me??? hold it. let;s just stop for a ssecond. hold it. iom sorry. i;;;m sorry, everyone. oan we stop here???? i;;;m not makina major life deocision durin a production number!!!! all r igght. ta ke ten, everybou dy. wrap it up, guys. i had virtually noi rehearsal f or that,,

@crytype-ifier

#bee movie #shitpost

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