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#autistic abed nadir

idrewagiraffe · 1 month

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so yeah, season 4 had a lot of issues. and episode 1 especially had a lot of issues. but i really really like how they touched on (if only briefly) the topic of severely changed routines and the dread of finality, particularly from the perspective of an autistic person.

yeah, abed tv was... something. but the concept they had going with the sort of dissociation that abed experienced as a result of the stress and panic from realising things were going to be different, that was pretty good.

and the way the rest of the group doesn't get mad at him, and actually tries to help him is nice to see too.

sure, there was a big missed opportunity to make the episode really good. they had all the right ingredients but, well, fell a bit short. but it's still nice to see that kind of thing explored.

#my memory is shady so idk though #community #nbc community #abed nadir #autistic abed nadir #actually autistic #community season 4 #six seasons and a movie #woooooooo #this is the last meta post i shall ever make (lies)

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aletterinthenameofsanity · 10 months

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you say the whole world's ending (honey, it already did) (Trobed)

"It has to be okay for it to get on a boat with Lavar Burton and never come back."

This wasn't supposed to be a tragedy. This wasn't supposed to end like this.

He was supposed to end up with Britta. Or Annie. Anyone, really, it didn't matter, as long as he stayed. As long as the Dreamatorium still functioned.

(As long as you got to love him through movie nights and pillow fights and butter noodles and Armageddon.)

You don't know when you began to lose Him. It wasn't to the Air Conditioner Repair School. It wasn't to the Great Pillows-And-Blankets war.

It wasn't Pierce. Not truly. Pierce was never important enough to sever that tie.

He needed to be his own man. He needed to go on his own adventure.

And you?

You are floating. Drifting. You cannot find your plot. You cannot thread together the character arcs that once guided you. You are pulled and pushed and the world falls apart. He turns and hugs you and the one person who you counted on to always understand you, all of the tangled film reels making up your brain, gets on a boat with Lavar Burton and never comes back.

The color seeps from the world. The color grading fades to a grayish, sickly shade. The wide shots disappear in favor of mid-range shots centered around one location, the study table, but it's not a bottle episode in the fun way. It's not. The apocalypse has arrived, not in fire and nuclear war, but instead The Road style, all depressing grays and cold blues.

The shenanigans continue, sure. Of course they do. The show is barreling towards something- or, perhaps, it's limping. So many parts of it have been chewed away, stolen by other networks. First Pierce, a wound to the arm you could sustain and sew up with a few stitches and then move on.

But then Him. Then the other half of yourself, the part you clung to throughout so many potential apocalypses before, gets on a boat, stepping into freedom and his own spin-off, and you are handcuffed to a filing cabinet for the crime of being strange. Of your senses being too sensitive. Of you being finally understood and- not loved, not appreciated, but shown kindness.

It's wrong for others to show you kindness. It's wrong for others to accommodate you.

You are not made to be accommodated. You are made to mocked and shoved and forced into the cookie-cutter hole that society has forced upon you.

You stop getting up to adventures. You stop searching out whimsy. Your delight got on a boat and abandoned you.

You retreat behind your camera. You enter your corner and you never leave. You lock away the corner of your mind that contains the Dreamatorium.

You are still handcuffed to the wall of that locker, aren't you? He found you at Inspecticon, but he lost you in the lava. A clone emerged, a perfected copy, who is bound by metal and lava and zombie bites and the knowledge that you were a whole person before Him but a jagged wound after Him.

You stop reaching out. You leave him at an unanswered "I love you." You cannot bear to seek and not find, to be rebuffed in person once again by the one person you once gave your bleeding heart to.

He doesn't come back. He is never coming back.

Pierce is gone. Shirley is gone. He is gone. Frankie and Elroy are here, and they're nice, but it's not the same.

You wish the lava had cauterized the wound in your heart. You wish that the world had allowed you to move on without a constant pain tearing itself into your chest.

There is only one answer you can give yourself now. There is only one way your story can end.

You leave the study room for the final time and you look back and the table has so many empty seats. So many holes that need to be filled.

You close your eyes, tears burning the backs but refusing to fall, and you lay his name behind you. You will not take it with you. You cannot bear to take it with you. You cannot carry this weight alone. You must leave this hurt behind, even if it means abandoning your heart in Greendale just like He once abandoned you.

The door falls shut. The curtain falls. The credits play.

The show is over. The tragedy has run its course, you at the center, you the fool, you the crushed body, you the director who packs everything up and ends the story.

No one is interested in seeing your heart anymore, if they ever were in the first place.

***

(Years later, a man will step foot off of a boat. He is late. Far too late. He should have returned ages ago. He has a beard and a few new scars and he is wiser and more worn but his eyes shine like they always did.

He stops in Greendale and is told that you left years ago. That he has missed his chance. That he is better off returning to Air Conditioner Repair and not wondering where you went.

You have drifted. You have left. You have turned your back on a world that turned its back on you.

But He is far more stubborn than you give him credit for. He turned the world over for himself, but also for you. For the spin-off you always begged for.

He picks up your heart from beneath the study table, cradles it close, and resolves to return it to you. He will bring you the keys to the handcuffs. He will bring you understanding. He will bring you butter noodles and a smile that never wavers. Not for you.

It will take time to reestablish trust, to unravel trauma and an ache as deep and old as the life you have survived, but he will do it. He would follow you anywhere, you know? He was delayed, detoured, but you were always the end goal.

He will eventually return his hands to repair. He likes helping people, and likes fidgeting with his hands, so why not?

But right now, he turns on his heel and heads straight for the airport. He has a plane to L.A. to catch.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48569731

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girlypopmikewheeler · 25 days

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HAPPY AUTISM ACCEPTANCE DAY (month?) TO ABED NADIR 🙏🙏🙏

#abed nadir #autistic abed nadir

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asphyxiatedredherring · 2 years

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The most autistic thing about Abed isn't that he is autistic but that he loved butter noodles

#community #community tv #abed nadir #autistic abed nadir

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lesbiannie-edison · 2 years

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community rewatch, s1e1-e4

been rewatching community lately and i have thoughts to share! most of them are probably unoriginal but who cares?

i forgot how many episodes don't have the theme song! very sad and i miss it

almost every end credits scene is troy and abed, which i assume is really mostly dani pudi and donald glover fucking around and i love them dearly for it <3

pierce is so!!! annoying!!! and awful!!! i hate how much he's played as a sympathetic character who just wants friends bc he's objectively a racist, bigoted asshole!

britta honey you are so problematic <3. all the guatemala stuff was so,,, ugh. also i swear there's an episode down the line about how she used to be a very vocal activist but this season she's just an annoying white girl who does nothing? don't love that

also a truly surprising amount of anti-semitism for a show with a jewish main character (annie). or maybe i'm just new to looking at it in this lens, bc i'm goyim. but really not good

as an autistic person i will be reclaiming the "ass burgers" joke troy makes in ep 1. like we don't use the term asp*rg*r's anymore bc the guy was a nazi so i personally find it funny. especially when everyone else at the table goes "it's a very serious disorder... :("

also so far shirley has done nothing wrong and i love her

#community tv #community rewatch #zoe watches community #troy and abed #troy barnes #abed nadir #actually autistic #autistic abed nadir #britta perry #annie edison #pierce hawthorne #shirley bennett #dani pudi #donald glover

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sneezingisnotnormal · 9 months

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My favourite thing about Abed Nadir is the fact that he is a HORRIBLE filmmaker.

Like I feel like when you think about autistic people, you think of people who are insanely good at their special interests and they’re bad at everything else. That’s the stereotype, and as an autistic person, I just kind of assumed that everyone else was just insanely good at their special interests.

But a special interest is just something you’re obsessed with. That doesn’t mean you’re good at it.

Abed cares about film as a medium so much that it is the way he processes and interprets reality. His opinions on movies and tv shows are thought out and long. He knows everything about everything when it comes to film.

And yet he’s absolute shit at actually doing it. With the exception of the documentary episodes, every piece of film we see from Abed is mediocre at best. He knows everything that goes into a good movie, but he can’t quite put the pieces together right.

And that’s why he’s the most relatable autistic character I’ve ever seen. He’s not some prodigy that can pull a movie out of his head in 5 seconds like it’s nothing. He’s just a guy who’s trying to get better at something. Give me more autistic characters that are completely mediocre at their special interests. Let me be autistic and also just a bit of a dumbass please

#let me have the right to suck at things #community nbc #community #community tv show #abed nadir #autistic things #autistic community #autism #actually autistic

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murdockiplier · 10 months

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"allistic actors shouldn't play autistic characters" this, "cishet actors shouldn't play queer characters" that. do you want danny pudi to be out of a job ??? do you ??? is that what you want ???

#danny pudi #abed nadir #brad bakshi #nbc community #mythic quest #danny pudi would be unemployed without autistic and queer characters #this is only partly a joke

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cant-get-worse-than-this · 4 months

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I feel like sitcoms from the Golden Age (2000s and early 2010s) would often make too much fun of autistic people. Even the sitcoms that are my favourites, such as Brooklyn Nine Nine and Modern Family are quite harsh (don't get me wrong, they're still some of the greatest ones) and would only have main characters with traits of ADHD (such as Luke and Phil from Modern Family and Jake from B99), which is great, but never autistic ones. Characters with autistic traits would often get made fun for their traits.

What I think Community did waaaay better than any of them is that they have a canonically autistic main character and his autistic traits are embraced. Literally no one makes fun of Abed (the autistic character) except for that 1 time Jeff says he has "Asperger's" as an insult. Other than that none of the main characters ridicule Abed for his autism and treat him with respect and as a regular human being.

What I also like is that they're not acting like Abed hasn't struggled at all. They don't act like autistic people never suffer. Abed still has been bullied. Some people still call him weird and so on. However Abed has found his people. He has his found family that love him and I think it's pretty big and amazing that a show made in 2009 went this far.

Other than that Community also has a character with ADHD traits (Troy, maybe someone else too) and has PLENTY of LGBT+ content. I would definitely recommend it.

(i love community)

#community nbc #community #abed nadir #troy barnes #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #modern family #luke dunphy #phil dunphy #jake peralta #autism #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #lgbt

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idrewagiraffe · 24 days

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i made this with my own blood sweat and tears

#abed nadir #nbc community #community #actually autistic #autism acceptence month

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aletterinthenameofsanity · 7 months

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I'll be your medicine if you let me (the air in my lungs may not last very long but I'm in) (Trobed reunion)

Title is from "Deep End" by Holly Humberstone. Trobed reunion post-finale. Angst with a happy ending.

(Troy returns. It takes a little while for Abed to accept that this could be real.)

---

When the moment comes, it comes unexpected. Unprepared for. The Dreamatorium is long gone and retired, the dreams buried with it in a small city in Colorado. There were no simulations anticipating this moment, this heartbreak renewed, this impossibility come to fruition.

(Except that's a lie. When Abed Nadir is asleep, his mind enters R.E.M. and the chimerical world of dreams. Fanciful, impossible, illusory hopes. When he is asleep, the memory of bright brown eyes and a warm smile becomes a truth impossible to imagine in the daytime.)

A voice, unexpected, impossible, breaks bright and excited across the set. "I'm looking for Abed Nadir," it says, as Abed has never allowed it to say, as the world has been determined not to let it say. "Can you point me in the right direction?"

Abed's knees hit the floor. His right hand bangs against his hip, an attempt to bring the pressure to his senses that is needed to recalibrate.

This cannot be happening. This is an impossibility forbidden by the universe. He's finally having a breakdown. He's having his first psychotic break since he was born, a clone, out of the lava wreckage. His patched DNA was supposed to prevent this. He was supposed to be able to keep himself from descending to these same disastrous lows again.

Someone is keening. Someone is shrieking. Someone cannot handle this moment, this breaking of the formula, the disastrous careening of a show into spin-off territory. No one can handle the introduction of a backdoor pilot where none of the audience or the characters expected one.

There is a hand on his head, gently prying his fingers from his hair. The touch is kind, tender, something that Abed has not felt in years.

Abed cannot bear to look up. He cannot bear to see the person who is trying to help him and managing not to hurt him.

But one hand is at his hip and another is in his hair and he has no hand left to cover his ears, to block out the auditory hallucination of a long-ignored tune from reaching his ears. He doesn't need the voice to sing words to know the lyrics by heart.

Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, the voice lies, someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.

Lies. Slander. The person the voice belongs to disappeared on a boat, Styx playing in the background. It's been four years. They would have returned by now-

Abed cannot help the gasp that escapes his mouth as lips press soft and warm against his forehead. His head jerks up involuntarily, his face turning toward the sun, to find Troy Barnes in front of him, concern warm in his gaze, a wobbly smile on his mouth.

Reality wars with impossibility. If this was a hallucination, a psychosis, Troy would look exactly as he did the day he left. This Troy, however, has new wrinkles around his eyes, brought on by sunlight reflected off of ocean waves. A beard traces his jaw line, emphasizing the features that have always captivated Abed. There is a scar crossing his temple right above his left eye, a pale pink rope marring warm brown skin.

"Abed," Troy says, an inconceivable vision. "Honey. Breathe with me, alright?"

Abed is hopeless against his hallucination. He follows the creature's instructions, trying to piece together fact and fiction, allowing himself to be lulled out of his non-verbal state and into some semblance of communication.

"What happened?" Troy asks, voice as gentle as always, but he hasn't had to ask Abed what the matter was for years. Even before he left, he was so good at determining what was going on with Abed, what was triggering him in his environment. But now, he can't tell. And that breaks Abed's heart even further.

(In the first few months after Hickey cuffed Abed to that filing cabinet, Abed liked to imagine that if Troy had been there, he wouldn't have stood for it. He would have yelled at Hickey in that shrill, bad-at-confrontation voice of his, that no one gets to treat Abed like that. That he would have uncuffed Abed and pulled him out of there and made him butter noodles just like he did after Toby locked Abed in that phone booth at Inspecti-Con.

Soon enough, though, Abed had to accept the fact that he had no idea if Troy would still defend Abed like that. Troy left. He abandoned Abed for the wide world after promising that he'd always be there to get Abed out of the lockers he was locked in.

Maybe Abed had Troy wrong. He so rarely had anyone right.)

"You can't be here," Abed whispers, the words rasping out of his throat.

Troy's brow furrows. "This isn't a closed set. I checked with your assistant on the phone before I showed up-"

Imaginary Troy certainly is better at planning ahead than Real Troy was. "You can't be here," Abed repeats, begging the hallucination to understand. Not that he can't be on set, not that anything is stopping him from entering, but that it's impossible for Troy to be here, in person, after so long apart. Troy doesn't want him anymore, and Abed accepted that years ago. No hallucination can convince him otherwise.

"Oh," Troy breathes, his brow smoothing out and his mouth turning down just as it did at the end of the lava, right before he begged Abed to come back to him and Abed dropped into the lava so that Troy could go on his own way, unrestrained by the cuffs of Abed's friendship. "You mean I can't be here, don't you?"

Finally, the impossibility understands him. Synchronicity, the gluon photo, has finally been achieved. Abed nods. "You're gone with Levar Burton. You have your own life without me." His voice purposefully, carefully, doesn't crack on the words without me. He's had enough practice. "You're not here. It's impossible for you to be here."

"I'm back, Abed," Troy says, sinking to his knees in front of Abed. His hand, the one on top of Abed's, slowly drops downward, gently dragging Abed's slack fingers with it. "I'm here. I promise I'm not trying to wrinkle your brain. I went to Greendale to find you first, but when Jeff and Britta and Frankie told me that you'd left, I came after you."

"But why now?" bursts from Abed's lips. "Why after so long?"

"I got held up by some pirates," Troy says, and Abed's mind would jump at such a show idea at any other time, but not now. Not here. Not while it is battling all of this other new-old information, like the warmth of Troy's calloused fingers so stubbornly clinging to Abed's hand. "And a few other crazy people along the way, but I came back. I was always planning to come back. That first year was supposed to be it. Was supposed to be me finding myself outside of Greendale. But this was always the plan, I swear. Me being here." His thumb drags across Abed's knuckles as if on instinct, as practiced as he was four years ago, as if there has been no absence, no departure, no estrangement.

Abed tilts his head just slightly, looking at Troy, listening to the sincerity in his voice. Once, Troy was as hard to read as everyone else. Then, he became as easy to understand as breathing. Troy's mannerisms were not impossible, like everyone else's- they were built out of love.

At least, that's what Abed once thought. He has loved Troy as easy as breathing for so long that when it became as hard as breathing, he barely noticed the difference in the way his lungs squeezed.

"So you came back," Abed says, matter-of-fact.

"I came back for you," Troy corrects softly, and a sharp breath yanks itself through Abed's throat. He and Troy were friends in person for four and a half years and no admission was ever made- why would he make it now?

(What the world believes is roofies obscures an admission, reciprocated from both ends, that was made and forgotten. I love you, coaxed by zombies and a belief that one was about to lose the love of one's life. I know, sworn with the knowledge that death was immediate and that the only possibility of rescue was in the hands of the man that the speaker believed in more than anything else.)

Impossible, Abed wants to say, but Troy's expression is too sincere, too earnest, and his hand too steady, too warm. Abed's mouth closes over the word as a sliver of doubt, of hope, begins to seep in after four years apart.

Fact: Troy is here. Abed has to believe that it's true. And if Troy is here, if he came all the way to L.A. for Abed, then...

The variables and numbers slot themselves into the equation. The scene writes itself to its inevitable conclusion.

Abed knows how reunions scenes go. He knows how love confessions are made, grandiose, finale-worthy speeches and spectacular wedding vows and sweepstakes-promposals.

But Abed is weary. He is human. He knows his scenes, and he knows Troy's willingness to recreate them with Abed, but right now, Abed needs creation. He needs a new scene, written by the characters themselves.

He doesn't need grandiose. He needs rawness, and honesty, and reality.

"Troy," he says, "You came back for me." To anyone else, it would sound like he's just repeating Troy, but to the two of them, the meaning is so much deeper, hidden between the folds of Abed-specific inflections.

Troy's face lights up. "Of course I did, buddy!" Abed's knowledge of Troy's mannerisms has weakened over the years, but he knows Troy well enough to know that 'buddy' is not meant to be platonic in nature.

Abed has done kiss-leans for actors in the last few years, demonstrated how he wants scenes done. He's even filled in on a scene or two.

But when Abed leans forward now, it's with hesitation. It's with uncertainty. Troy is the one who completes the distance, his warm, chapped lips landing on Abed's in the answer to an nine-year question. Troy's free hand lands against the back of Abed's neck, tugging him in, and Abed is all too content to acquiesce to the non-verbal cue.

The kissing sounds that so often bother him in movies don't bother him now. Rather, he relishes in them. Because this is not sensory overload. This is not an artistic choice that needs be borne.

This is every dream he has not dared to have. This is every confession he has craved knowing he could never taste them, every hope he couldn't allow himself to have for fear that it would break him when he remembered that it wasn't true.

The kiss isn't quite happy. It is desperate and fond and hungry and soft and raw and a million other words that Abed would strike from a script for being too flowery.

But it is here. It is real.

And more importantly than any other fact that Abed has ever held true: Troy got on a boat with Lavar Burton and he came back.

#trobed #reunion #troy barnes #abed nadir #angst with a happy ending #community #crossposted on ao3 #fanfic #fix it #post-canon #happy ending #autistic abed nadir #actually autistic #emotional hurt/comfort #aletterinthenameofsanity

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defectivegembrain · 3 months

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Okay no look Abed is not just autistic, he definitely has comorbid mental health issues. I mean he is canonically described as having psychotic breaks, we see several of these, and also he has serious abandonment issues and goes to extreme lengths analysing and worrying about relationships. That stuff definitely overlaps and connects with autism but it isn't explained by that alone. Also you could reasonably argue for a learning disability like dyscalculia. And you know what, it's good representation that not every symptom he shows can be explained by autism. Most autistics have something else on top. Especially considering the increased social rejection and mistreatment. It feels very real, and I don't think it's fair to reduce it to just autism. From personal experience, when people try to do that in real life, it means possible strategies and solutions get ignored, and you get convinced every part of your suffering is just an intrinsic part of who you are. That you're destined to be this anxious, this stressed, this traumatised forever. And I know saying it about a fictional character doesn't actually do the same to anyone, but like. It's just not accurate, and it feeds into something that does hurt real people.

#community #nbc community #abed nadir #autistic representation #mental illness representation #neurodivergent representation

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ibeewashere · 8 months

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