#i feel all shakey like im doing everything wrong

[sparklehoard]

First shift on and I feel like a prey animal

#i WILL NOT touch any of my fun stuff. i dont dare #oh god my senior coworker is going to get blasted with my whole 2 notbook pages of questions #i feel all shakey like im doing everything wrong #like when you try really hard at a new job but you missed something crucial you either forgot about or wasnt told and they just fire you???? #what am i doing wrong

[rzyraffek]

Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything

Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!

Billy Lenz

He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*

He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)

Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey

"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*

You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill

"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"

His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)

The man from hush

This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE

Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf

He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"

He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"

Micheal myers

I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.

Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it

He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!

Brahms Heelshire

He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee

But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)

Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something

Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that

Ghostface

"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"

Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)

If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality

Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))

#slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #billy lenz #billy lenz x reader #brahms heelsire #brahms x reader #micheal myers #micheal myers x reader #ghostface x reader #ghostface #hush headcanon #hush 2016 #hush x reader #the man x reader

[mxqdii]

Hii! I love your style of writing and i was wondering if you could write for Matthew Sturniolo with a fem reader who plays Volleyball!

-🪼

eyes on me - m.s

pairings: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: before a big game, reader needs encouragement

warning(s): anxiety, fluff

a/n: okay so i'm very sorry for not posting in a while but i'm back!! life has been SO crazy i flew to a different state to see billie eilish and i actually ended up hugging her (lmk if u want pics/vids)

anyways i'm back and i love u all very much, tysm for the support.

by the way i know nothing about volleyball so im sorry if i get anything wrong!!

not proofread

my leg is bouncing up and down, the anxiety radiating off me like a bright beam.

it's my boyfriend, matt, that snaps me out of my head

"what's goin on up there pretty girl?" he asks and i sigh, letting a nervous laugh leave my mouth

he puts his hand on my knee and i feel myself immediately more calmed at his touch.

"it's just- we've worked up to this game, for like- so long. and if we don't win it'll just be really upsetting. which i know sounds stupid but- i don't know"

i ramble, stopping myself and covering my face with my hands

"hey, hey. no need to get worked up okay?" he says, using his thumb to rub my knee in small comforting circles

i remove my hands, gaze still turned downwards.

"eyes on me love" he whispers and my cheeks flush

i direct my gaze to him, his soft eyes and comforting smile.

and suddenly the stress was gone.

i hear my team name, strikers, be called, and i let out a sigh i didn't know i had in, this is it.

"go win this thing, okay?" he says and i smile, nodding.

the game starts off not too well, we're at 2 scores and the other team is at 3.

first to get to 15 wins

more time passes, and we're now 14 to 14

this last point is crucial, this is it.

i look over to matt, seeing his encouraging smile and his 2 goofy brother cheering me on

i'm not sure when they got here, but i'm glad they are.

i direct my attention back to the game, hearing the whistle.

i hold the ball in my (shakey) hands, preparing to serve

serving the ball, i watch as it goes behind everybody, no one hitting it in time

the whole place is silent

was it out of bounds?

"STRIKERS WIN!!!" the ref yells and our whole team jumps up and down cheering in victory

suddenly my head is being turned

without any hesitation, matt puts his hands on both side of my head, kissing me

he pulls away with a beaming smile on his face

"i knew you could do it!" he pulls me into a hug and i kinda just stand there for a sec

everything just happened so fast

"i- i won! we won!" i say, accepting the hug and wrapping my arms around him

"yeah you did baby"

TAGLIST

@stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo headcannons #nick sturniolo #fluff #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matthew x reader #matt fanfic #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicholas sturniolo #nick sturniolo fanfic #madispeaks!

[sannirio]

safe and sound [pt 2.]

part. 1 part. 3

wc: 1456

dom san x amab sub reader

18+ MINORS DNI 「im serious」

cw - non!idol au, werewolf san, size kink, mention of death, mention of anxiety and anxiety attacks.

A/N it's here! sorry it took so long to put out. part 3 will come asap lol

a soft light woke you up, the warmth of the light was accompanied by the warmth of san’s body and the steady rising and falling of his chest. his arms were still wrapped around you, one hand was on your hair the other around your waist. lowering your head back down onto his chest you took a breath in. he smelled so good, sweet, floral, his body was like a massive pillow, it was so soft, even his muscles were comforting. while you were distracted by his body you heard a yawn and felt his hand, the one on your head, move softly brushing your hair. 

“mmmmmh, good morning sweetheart” he mumbled, planting a kiss on your forehead. “how did you sleep?” “i slept really good” you whispered in response. with how fast and hard you fell asleep, good was an understatement, perfect was more accurate. he smiled looking down at you, squeezing your waist slightly. “shall we eat hun?” san asked. you nodded your head yes, you were so hungry. 

you sat down by the fire pit, which had been re lit. san was busy in the corner where he had been the day prior, making food. the current situation was so weird, stuck in a cave, completely lost, with a man, no werewolf, a handsome one, but a werewolf? 

you couldn’t help but wonder what someone else would’ve done in your situation. run? maybe. but san was too kind. the thought of your friends slipped back into your mind again. right now? san must have noticed how you were feeling because he was by your side within a second. “are you ok? what’s wrong” worry plastering his voice. “nothing.” it wasn’t nothing, obviously. tears started to well up in the corners of your eyes until they spilled over, running down your soft face. it hurt a lot, not knowing what your friends were thinking, not knowing where they were. everything you felt the night prior came surging back into your consciousness. you could feel your heart racing, getting to a point where it made you dizzy. an anxiety attack. perfect. san pulled you into his lap, wiping your tears away “what’s wrong?” he asked.  he started rubbing your back trying to calm the shaking. although speaking was hard, you were able to get out a few words. “i miss my friends” the sentence stung, unfortunately adding to the spiral you were heading down. 

those words hit san like a truck. obviously he knew you’d miss them, you had no idea where you were or where your friends were. he wasn’t planning on keeping you here for long to begin with, but hearing you so upset tore him apart. “is there anything i can do baby?” trying to be as soft as possible not wanting you to hear his sudden wave of sadness. all you could do was nod. san kept on rubbing your back, moving his hand in predictable circles, trying to get your mind onto the rhythm of his movement instead of focusing on the things you were thinking about right now. the two of you could talk about that later. “look at me” he whispered, you did, tears still streaming down your face. “breath with me” 

san took a breath in, keeping his eyes locked with yours. you followed along, taking a shallow shakey breath. “good job” he said “again” you both took a deep breath, this time yours was a bit more calm than the last. “good job” san repeated. the back rubs were definitely helping. a few more breaths later and the continuous circular motion of his hands, most of the anxious feeling was gone. your heart still hurt but you could breath more or less. 

“do you want to talk about your friends” san asked, he tried to be as careful as possible, he didn’t want you to feel any worse than you do. “yeah,” the shakiness hadn’t completely left your body. “what’s wrong, what about your friends is making you upset?” “i miss them, i don’t know if they think i’m dead, they could be so worried. i just want to see them.” san felt his heart sink. he wanted you to be 100% well so you could leave, but seeing how upset you are was to much. “i’m sorry honey, you need to feel 100%, i don’t want you to get hurt again.” you knew that already, obviously you couldn’t just waltz your way back, you didn’t have the strength for that. “i know” you spoke very softly, the anxiety you had just felt honestly wore you out. “you need to eat” san said putting you back down on the floor and proceeding to standing up. “i think you’ll feel better after and we can talk about your friends while you eat.” 

after you had eaten, and spent time talking about your friends, the two of you were sitting at the edge of the cave. you hadn't realized how high up you two were. the entrance of the cave was basically just at the edge of a cliff. “its so pretty” you thought. the trees below were beautiful, moss was scatered around the edge of the cliff. “why did you go camping again?” san asked. you looked at him and smiled. “well, the three of us don’t go out much because of university so we decided to go camping, we like autumn a lot and it was the only week we could all go.” san was looking at you with just as much interest as he had during lunch. he smiled “that sounds so sweet. i wish i could go out camping with friends.” san then turned to look out the cave entrance and sighed. “you should come with us next time!” excitement evident on your face. he looked back at you smiling sadly. that look was upsetting, he looked tired somehow. as if he read your mind he finally spoke again. “i would love to but i can’t.” that was confusing, why couldn’t he? he's still somewhat human right? “when i turn, it’s hard to control myself.” san looked even more sad than before. “what does that mean.” you were now looking at him, “well im an animal when i turn, like a regular wolf, i'm dangerous.” 

you thought for a second. “but you didn't hurt me when you found me.” the proceeding silence was tense. the only thing that was audible was the sound of running water, possibly from a waterfall, off in the distance. minutes passed, san didn’t say anything at all. you felt awkward, had you said something wrong? rude? offensive? “i'm… i'm sorry” you stuttered “i didn’t mean to..” san cut you off, turning to you quickly. “no, it’s ok.” he spoke softly his face mere inches from yours. you could feel his breath brush your face. you could tell you were getting red. this was totally the wrong time but you couldn’t help but look down at his lips. “you’re different” san whispered, matching your dropping gaze. “how?” “you’re the first person that i’ve been able to control myself against. i didn’t hurt you.” somehow that sentence made your already aching heart flutter. san put his hand on your face slowly moving it from your cheek to your chin, lifting your face up to meet his gaze. his lips snatched away from your view. not fair! you felt sans thumb graze your lips. the sensation of his soft finger made you shiver. “you’re so beautiful” san whispered. the phrase was like music. “i want to protect you, keep you safe. i’ve never been able to keep my instincts from taking over, but for you, your presence keeps me human.” 

you could melt at that very moment. you felt drunk, his words were intoxicating. before you could react or respond san kissed you, his lips connecting with yours, it was like a pillow. you breathed in sharply before reciprocating his kiss, you wanted to be his. just this kiss was enough to make you pass out. san pulled you onto his lap continuing to kiss you. he broke away for just a second. “if you want me to stop please tell me and i will.” you nodded, showing you understood. the safety net was reassuring but you wanted him, all of him. your lips connected with his once again. san stood up still kissing you. he wrapped your legs around his waist and held onto your butt to keep you from falling down. something about this swift motion reminded you just how large he was compared to you, he could easily overpower you, and do what he wanted to you, something about that was right though, that's exactly what you wanted to happen. 

sannirio©

#choi san #san #san smut #san x amab reader #san x reader #san x male reader #ateez smutt fic #ateez smut #choi san x reader

[snowstained]

wrong question

yandere!chuuya / gn!reader

yandere, toxic relationship, reader has panic attack, chuuya in a goofy ahh mood, mentions of abuse, i’m too lazy to proof read

tik tok… tik tok… tik tok… tik- the clock broke again. you always thought it was ironic whenever the stupid thing broke. it was your only way to truly tell how long you were there, when he’d come back, how long you have to mentally prepare yourself. but whenever the clock broke you had to recalculate everything.

according to the clock, well, before it broke, you had about 25 minutes left before chuuya came home. 25 minutes left to mentally prepare yourself. 25 minutes left in chains. 25 minutes before a human bomb came in through the door. time bomb, haha, you thought to yourself. time, time, time, time is all you had left. just… time. time until you escaped, time until you died or he died. no, if he dies that would be bad. you’d be left to rot. time is against you. truly.

there you sat in the dim, windowless room. he tried to make it nice at least. well… kind of. you kept yourself occupied with board games and books and music and cards, but it was lackluster. you weren’t allowed to watch tv or go on the internet without chuuya’s supervision. you were at one point, but when he saw that you got through the child-lock and tried seeing if anyone was looking for you on the news that got taken away. kinda funny, huh? you were in your 20s being treated like you weren’t even double digits yet.

there it was, the sound of your prison door unlocking. you weren’t out yet though. daily routine was in order. every day when chuuya came home you were dressed to his liking, whether it be a fancy expensive outfit, jeans and a sweater, or just barely any clothing. whatever he was in the mood for. the second part of the routine was him doing your hair and asking about your day. this moment was very critical, especially if he was in a bad mood. acceptable responses are any variation of “good”, and unacceptable responses are any variation of “bad”, unless it was only bad because you missed him. in that case, “bad” because you missed him must be followed up by “good” now that you see him.

after dressing you up in a nice outfit (which likely meant he was in a good mood today) you were brought out to the living room and made to sit on the couch. chuuya sat behind you, beginning to do your hair. “how was your day? i know i missed you dearly, im so happy to see you now” he said. his voice was unsettling sometimes. so calm, too calm.

“i was a bit bored today, but i’m so happy now that you’re here, chuuya! i missed you,” a forced smile creeped onto your lips “what did you do today? i want to hear about it.” you felt chuuya stiffen up a bit. bad question, he didn’t have a good day after all.

“i saw an old partner today, im not very happy about it” he was clearly mad now. silence fell over the room like a thick blanket of snow. anxiety started to fill you, starting in the pit of your stomach and spreading through your entire body. would you be punished? is he mad at you? how can you fix the situation and make him happy again? your breaths became stuttered and your hands shakey.

“what’s got you so worked up, yn? i can feel you shaking.” was he concerned or faking it? is he gonna hurt you? oh god.

you inhaled sharply before speaking, “i didn’t mean to upset you, chuuya. i’m sorry, i-i’m really really sorry! please forgive me, it was a mistake, i’m so sorry! i shouldn’t have asked!” full blown panic attack. you hyperventilated as the room turned into shapes and colors, your vision became static, touch felt so intense, and nothing you heard made sense.

you saw something move in front of you and grab you, but you didn’t know who or what. you couldn’t make sense of it. he’s gonna hurt me, he’s gonna hurt me, he’s gonna hurt me. that’s all you could think. when you began to calm down you finally made sense of what was happening. it was chuuya holding your hands, staring at you with a concerned look on his face. “yn? are you okay? i’m not gonna hurt you, baby. why would you ever think that? i love you, i’m here to protect you, not hurt you.”

his voice was so soft. calm. worried. it made you mad, but you could express that. why would i ever think you’d hurt me? look at the fucking bruises on my body. every time you’re mad at me i get hurt. you sat still. you said nothing, but your gaze told him what he needed to know. the bruises on your legs, your arms. your now deformed left pinky from when he was angry and accidentally broke three of your fingers. he didn’t take you to a hospital because he didn’t want to get caught, not even a medic for the port mafia. your ring and middle healed fine, but not the pinky.

chuuya’s face was still for a moment. you couldn’t read it, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling, but then he cried. no, he didn’t cry. he sobbed. “it’s my fault, it’s all my fault. you’re scared of me and it’s my fault! i’m supposed to protect you… and i failed. i’m sorry, yn. let me make it up to you, let me try to fix this! i don’t want you to be scared of me.” all you could do was stare. “we can go shopping or somewhere nice to eat or a vacation, whatever you want. name it. i’ll make it happen, it’ll be my apology, and i promise i’ll try to control my violence a little more.”

there were two ways your reply could go. either he would give in and you’d be free, or he’d be taking his promise back quickly. “chuuya… i want you to let me go. that’s how you can make it up to me…” you said it. it was ballsy, and an absolute gamble. but, you said it.

chuuya’s gaze turned back to unreadable. it was silence. how dare you ask to leave him? could you see that he loves you more than the air he breathes? more than life itself? “you’re funny. after all i do, that’s what you really want, huh?” you fucked up, badly. “the money i spent, the tears i shed, the blood i have bled for you! it means nothing, huh? my love means nothing. you’re staying here, with me. you will stay by my side until the day life leaves you. and that day won’t be up to god, that day is up to me. you’re gonna see things my way, i’ll make sure of it. i own you. you’re mine.”

#chuuya x reader #chuya x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere #yandere chuuya #yandere bsd

[pumpkzsafeplace]

For you and/or your daddy

(Vent, tw- mentions of depression, aniexty, ed, and unintentional sh)

-----

It's getting bad again... I've lost interest in pretty much everything. I only really feel happy when I'm small. Lately everything just seems kinda pointless. Everyday I wakeup, lay in bed for awhile, get up, and so sit on the couch all day. Eventually my mom will text me and give me some chores. I don't know why but everytime she texts me it just makes me mad. I know I don't have anything better to do but it just kinda makes me mad that all I do is chores. I've hardly left the house all summer, maybe 12 times. And 3 of those times were to go to school. I've also noticed that I've been eating less. I know it's not good for me but I don't know what to do. I've never really talked to any of my friends about my ed and even if I wanted to talk to one of them about it I don't really know how to bring it up. I've been shakey recently and I don't know if it's from aniexty or from a lack of me eating. I just feel kinda spaced out most of the time and I don't like it. I use to go to therapy back when I was in 6th grade (for context im going into 9th grade) and I've thought about going back. I didn't really like therapy, it might of just been my therapist, but the whole experience just wasn't very good. Anyways, the other day I accidentally did something and it really hurt. I have a bad habit of digging my nails into my skin. When we were driving back home my baby sister started crying and I didn't even realize that I was digging my nails into my hand until after it was too late. It's still healing, but it hurts really bad :(

A lil' cg update: I still have a cg, the only time we talk is when I message her first. We barley talk and I honestly keep forgetting that I even have a cg. I know that she's really busy but I kinda feel like she doesn't even wanna be my cg. She doesn't really baby me at all, or talk to me very much and it makes me sad..

I'm really sorry for rambling so much.. I just really don't know what to do anymore. I just know I needed to talk to someone before it got too bad....

-👑

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

hihi lil bug’ 🌼

💼: Hello little one, I decided to take this one if you don’t mind- due to the sensitive topics.

I’m sorry it’s gotten bad again- our minds can be dangerous things sometimes. Especially if we fuel them with things going wrong, then can spin it and almost make us feel out of control of our own bodies.

The same happened with Pumpkin- well still does from time to time. Have you tried to make any friends? That helped Pumpkin a lot. I know you can do something on here- like an application of some sort to help? But i’m not to sure I’m sorry.

Also, not leaving the house doesn’t equal to you being bad/ or you being worthless. Sometimes time passes by us so quickly, you can simply blink and it’s the end of summer. And just because you didn’t go out and do this wonderful and spontaneous plans, doesn’t mean that your summer was a waste. You looked after your body, you rested and let your mind heal after school- that’s more important than anything.

I do think therapy is a good choice though love, especially regarding the eating disorder. Pumpkin never went and she still struggles so much now- so please- if you see the signs early, go and get some help with how to cope. You should never have to feel like you’re unworthy of food, or that food is a chore.

If it’s due to the depression- then use quick meals. Noodles, Ready Meals- they’re all accessible and can be made quickly. Please just make sure to have something in your tummy, okay?

Pumpkin used to dig her nails into her palms when she was stressed before things progressed & got worse- I know that sometimes it can’t be helped but maybe a fidget toy can be used instead? Just something to play with to distract your hands whilst your mind is going through this.

Regarding your CG- maybe it’s time to look for another. If you’re not feeling looked after then maybe you need to speak to them and explain how your needs aren’t being matched. If they’re going through something themselves then it’s understandable- but communication is a key thing & stuff can’t be solved without it.

I’d have a talk to them and see what’s going on. If they’re still refusing to talk or take action, then maybe look for another. Like i said earlier- applications and such could be a good help.

I hope I have helped- I know you wanted Pumpkin but this hit a little too close to home as one would say.

Big hugs from her though, and Me and Good luck.

#askpumpkin #👑pumpkinasks #agere blog #age regression #agere community #sfw agere #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw little community #sfw little blog #agere little #sfw little post

[rubberduckswriting]

um ik its a rare ship and they never interacted before but could you do jared and mowdown from tawog fluff? Thank you :)

Hey! Thank you for the request! I tried my best I hope you like it!

Teddy bear hugs •|tawog|•

Summery: Jared is going through a very hard time and mowdown decides to help him

Ship: Jared x mowdown

Tw: swearing, crying, fluff

Jared sighed as he walked down the halls of Elmore Junior high with his arms filled with books. He was rushing quite a bit and wasn't looking where he was going, as he was almost late for class.

He anxiously shuffled the books in his arms to not drop them as he let out a Shakey breath. He was having a truly horrible day. He woke up late and missed the bus and definitely flunked the science test earlier that day. And on top of all that clair broke up with him for some stupid jock just a few minutes earlier. Jared teared up just thinking about the break up. Of course no one really noticed he was about to cry. No one really knew him in that school. He was a side character even in his own story.

He looked down and focused on getting to class, not really bothering to look where he was going. Nothing really mattered to him anymore anyway. He was going through a rough patch and the break up didn't help at all. He remembered seeing clair and everything being okay, like all of his worries melted away at the sight of her. That was gone now.

Jared was swiftly yanked from his thoughts when he bumped into one of the meanest boys in school. Phillip, or 'mowdown' as hes called around the school, looked down at Jared with an unbridled fury in his eyes. Jared knew Phillip from the few times they had projects together or were partners for anything. Sometimes it even seemed like they were friends at one point.

"Watch where your going, frea-" mowdown stopped cut himself off in the middle of his sentence as he looked into Jared's eyes. He saw a sorrow in Jared's eyes that couldn't quite be described, but could be recognized by mowdown. The bear had felt this before, a kind of sorrow that comes from feeling rejected by everyone and everything in the world. Mowdown knew this feeling all too well, he wasn't the main character, even in his own life. He understood the feeling.

Suddenly, mowdown felt a bump on his arm as Jared ran past him with all of his energy. Jared sniffled as tears fell down his face, squeezing his eyes shut and blindly running down the hall until he got to the courtyard. Panicked, Jared almost fell to the ground and sat down on the pavement, leaning on the wall as he let go of his books letting him fall the the floor.

Mowdown chased after Jared as soon as he realized where he was going. He might be a jerk and be with some of the meanest delinquents in this school, but he won't let someone go through the same thing he is alone.

When mowdown finally got outside, he looked around and saw a sobbing Jared with his head buried in his arms. Mowdowns eyes softened at the sight as he slowly walked to Jareds side and sat down. This caught Jared's attention and he peaked out from his arms, immediately flinching as he saw mowdown. Was Jared afraid of him? The thought just made mowdown want to help more. "I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay. Whats wrong with you?" Mowdown spoke softly and looked forward as did so, avoiding eye contact.

Mowdowns words surprised Jared as he lifted his head from his arms to look at him with wide, sad eyes. "It's nothing. Don't worry about me I'm fine," Jared lied through his teeth and looked down. "Bullshit. What's wrong?" Mowdown quickly shot the 'im fine' excuse down and asked his question again. "It's just- my girlfriend dumped me and everything sucks right now. Everything feels like it's caving in and nothing can get me out of it." Jared let all of his pent up emotion out even if he didn't want to. he needed to get it out one way or another.

Mowdown thought silently for a moment. He thought to try one of the things that helped his friends when they were upset, he was a teddy bear after all. He hesitated for a minute before speaking. "Come here" mowdown opened his arms ever so slightly to signal Jacob to hug him, averting his eyes to avoid eye contact.

Jared smiled softly and hugged mowdown, tearing up as he slightly snuggled into the embrace. Mowdown smiled to himself and put an arm around Jared. The two sat silently for a moment as Jared slowly gained his composure again. "Wait..." Jared sat up slightly "we never went to class. What if we get in trouble?" Jared looked around anxiously for any teachers that could catch them skipping.

Mowdown chuckled softly at the shorter boys worry. Jared seemed to had forgotten who he was talking to. "So what if we get in trouble? They can't do much of anything to us. Just detention." Mowdown shrugged as Jared pulled away. "Thanks for helping me, mowdown." Jared smiled as he began to get up.

Mowdown smiled back, maybe not being a huge jerk wasn't so bad, maybe both of them could finally be the main characters of their story's. "No problem."

#tawog #the amazing world of gumball #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #request

[in-decisivo]

the eyes, they never lie 

once i can read beyond that i know something is up, 

something is wrong - something isnt where it is supposed to be 

the whole stretch of 2022 i know something is up and i cant read into that yet - maybe because you were hiding or you stopped looking at me 

for me to look back and read into whatever it is that you are hiding, 

when you have gone to the province from April 2022 for more than a week the entire time you were there, my guts tells me something - and i never paid attention to it just because you said nothing is wrong so i learn not to trust my own intuition - 

my guts has proven me right all along, you gaslighted me into thinking that im making this all up, that i dont have to act a certain way just because there are things that are going up against my beliefs, my plan and the way i think 

i should listened to my intuition more, it wasnt just a whisper it was loud enough for me to tremble yet i ignored it the entire time

i know from that month i was certain i just cant point it out yet 

i know 

nearing the last few months of the year of 2022, and a few more sleepovers at your house it felt like a puzzle piece, its a labyrinth i dont know how to get out im lost definitely  -

 i had epiphanies of having to get out of your house in the middle of the night, or sneaking up on your computer and seeing things i shouldnt have or maybe able to check on that iPad when i knew whats on your Procreate drafts - i know it all

you know i wasnt able to do all of that because i believed everything was my fault and i couldnt for a second do anything else than jeopardize the relationship i wanted so badly back in 2018

i also believe you were hiding something from me when we were eating at Shakeys that October of the same year when you faced your phone down yet i ignored the signs, its indicative of what was the unverse was telling me

i wasnt ready to give up i dont want to and yet here you are, i know i couldve given up if you just told me on that night you did it with James i couldve just given up but it was my birthday isnt it?

i will never not look at you the same way again, to me you are just a lowly cheater who scrapes off of validation from people you shouldnt have - the world will see you just like the rest of them and you know what happens with the rest of them, condemned

and i know i should've been nicer but the way you handled this was abrupt and full of deception from last December, you wouldnt dare to be alive if that happened to you

so long mj, i know what it meant when you said "this is the first time that im feeling these things" "i wished you well but you didnt wished me well" "i will travel a parallel path but mine is more treacherous". you lousy liar

you and James, you both deserved to rot in hell

#mj #personal

[franksintrayaoi]

-OOOH RECONCILIATION SEX OOOOH-

Pacer knocked on the door of the Kings room,the two had split up for a bit due to issues mainly caused by Pacer. He'd admit that he had been the main agitator in the situation but king hadn't been exactly nice either.

"King?are you in there man?" He said in a oddly soft yet stern voice.

"If you're here to scream at me again don't even bother talking to me."

Pacer creaked the door open and shut it behind him quietly. "Look im not here to start anything, I'm just sorry man. I'm so sorry. I know I was in the wrong for screaming at you about what happened,I want to make us work King. I've known you since I was 6 I know I can't love without you."

The King clearly had been crying,his face was red and so were his eyes. His hair was a mess,he looked utterly destroyed about what had happened. Not to say pacer had done any better,he began to use jet even more when the two split,he reaked of jet and booze, and yet he wasn't high or drunk. He almost wanted to say he was proud of him bit he had been too exhausted to really even talk.

Pacer asked if he could sit with King and the man rolled over and put his head in his arms. He was giving Pacer the silent treatment,he knew how much he hated feeling ignored but he felt like he deserves it now.

"I know you're mad at me,I know I have everything coming."

The king rolled over and you could tell he wasn't mad,he was sad and had a terrified look on his face. And then the water works came,once he started sobbing he didn't stop. He rolled back over into the bed and covered his face with the red blanket. Underneath you could see how shakey his breathing was,he was practically hysterical with his crying.

Pacer put a hand on where his shoulder was and spoke with a choked voice and said. "I don't want to loose you,and I can tell you don't want to either, King."

His breathing slowed down some, all he wanted was a hug at that moment. Pacer reached for him and squeezed him. "I'm sorry" the king finally spoke,his voice shuddering. It wasn't something you'd be expecting to hear from a leader a of freeside but he was a sensitive man.

And him crying was enough to make Pacer cry,he had a soft spot for him and he was his only weakness.

"I can't loose you,not like this,not in this way" his voice shuddered. He hated the Idea of being alone for the rest of his life, sure he had Rex but Rex couldn't exactly provide other needs he had.

And then Pacer said screw it,he pressed their mouthes together. They struggled to find a rhythm, itd been so long aince they last had kissed they had completely forgot to. Dverytime King was sad it'd always brighten up his mood,he wasn't sure if it'd work this time but it was worth a shot. And unexpectedly Kimg leaned right into the kiss,he figured he would have just stayed still the whole time.

Pacer put his hands right on his hips and the two fell back on the giggling,he figured it was exactly what they needed. They'd stop kissing and stare at eachother for a moment.

"Oh uhm I'm so sorry" He had accidentally pulled down Kings old tank top,it hardly fit over his chest anymore but he kinda liked it.

And then King pulled the whole shirt off and pulled Pacer into him,Pacer groped his chest and the two had practically melted into eachother.

"Do you wanna do this big man?" God he had loved when King called him that. And yes he wanted to do this,he couldn't help what he wanted.

Pacer laid on his back and spread open his legs,he had still been fully dressed but he was ready. King took off pacers jacket and took a moment to admire all of his muscles,he was such a big man and yet he crumbled anytime King would fuck him.

"Holy shit..pace" King was already starting to throb at the idea of having all that muscle to himself. He removed Pacers old button down shirt and his large chest fell out. Stared at the beauties for a moment,they were large and he had some interesting nipple piercings. They had a single chain between them like he knew this was going to end in sex.

The King gave them a good tug before taking one of Pacers nipples in his mouth. Pace groaned and squirmed,he wanted to be touched more but had to wait.

He was whining and breathlessly panting like a dog. "Cmon you can't just leave me like this,please don't neglect me." And boy was he going to neglect him. He started kissing and tracing his fingers up and down his collarbone. "Absolutely breath taking." King was clearly also getting impatient woth his own actions. He left a few hickey's on his chest and neck so he couldn't hide his shame.

"Lets get ya outta them big pants,Pace." He rugged at his pants and clearly he could see a erection,Pacer didn't have a dick but he sure as he'll had a nice T-dick. Through his underwear you could see it twitching, his underwear were absolutely soaked in fluids. The King grinned his hand against it,he was teasing the hell out of the poor man.

Be removed the boxers too eventually, revealing a large throbbing member and how wet he was. The King got on his knees and began teasing his tip with his tongue. "You're such a good boy Pace,I love seeing you squirm. I know you want more." And he was right.

Pacer reached for Kings pants a dropped them down,he had always loved to see him so vulnerable. Pacer bucked his hips into king,it wasn't his fault he was so good at sucking dicks.

The King stopped for a moment and spread apart Pacers labia apart, he was dripping wet woth excitement. Pacer gripped onto Kings shoulder,leaving bite marks and hickeys everywhere he could. King lined up two fingers with his entrance.

"Fuck just put it in me already, man. Stop beating around the bush." And beat around the bush he would. He slipped both fingers into him,Pacer was even wetter inside than outside. Pacer was quivering and shaking in exitement,he could hardly wait any longer. King stretched him apart and felt the rim of his cunt stretch for him. His finger was absolutely drenched by the time he pulled it out. "Someone's exited isn't he?" He said showing Pacer his hand.

Pacer looked absolutely lovely, he had a dark trail of hair that led from his stomach to his dick. King traced his finger along it and pacer tensed up his body. Who knew someone like him would be so sensitive.

The King opened a drawer with a handful of toys and a single strap on belt. "Pick your poison Pace,your choice." He had picked certainly the most interesting one that's for sure. It had a tip that curved up and would hit his g-spot everytime King would move,and it was rather large to say the least.

The king fastened it on him and poured lube all over the member,stroking it up and down until he felt satisfied that it was enough.

"Please, just put it in,I can't deal with the teasing." And King took that as a opportunity to tease him some more. He rubbed it up and down Pacers labia before shoving it into him. God Pacer absolutely loved when they did this to him. He mewled and lifted his hips closer to the Kings.

"Do you want me to go harder?"

"Yes please..."

"What was that?I can't hear you over the sound of this."

"Please King?"

"That's perfect,now I know what you want."

He picked up the pace and Pacer couldn't help but moan incredibly loud,he had been stroking himself off while being fucked so hard. Pacer tugged at his own dick and squirmed while King tried to find a more favorable position.

But Pacer couldn't help himself,all this moving around was hitting him in all his good places,and combined with him stroking himself off too. Once King gave a particularly hard thrust Pacer made a mess all over Kings leg,he couldn't help but squirt on him. Hr had cum just from having King thrust himself into a particularly sensitive spot. King loved when Pacer did it,maybe it was on purpose but not this time. He looked shocked when he realized what he had done.

"I'm not finished with you yet. I'm going to milk you absolutely dry." The King removed the strap and positioned his own cunt between Pacers legs. He wanted to scissor him,it drove Pacer and him absolutely insane.

This time pacer took initiative, he kinda had to after all. He lifted up kings leg before maneuvering himself between it. The King was a handsome guy,he may look well groomed from the outside but if you ever got to see this you'd see how hairy he was.

Once Pace lined himself up perfectly,he started to grind. King may have been even more wet than him, he practically screamed while Pacer went at it. Pacer may have forgotten how king liked to be kissed but he certainly didn't forget how he liked to be fucked. King was biting his lip so hard it started to bleed a little,and Pacer couldn't help but be more turned on by that. The King felt a hot sensation in his body,it wouldn't stop building up. And the more Pacer rubbed himself against him the more desperate he became for him to let him cum.

"Please Pace,I can't hold off much longer. I've been waiting this whole time."

"As you wish jefe."

He thrusted into King a few more times before King started moaning even louder, sure he'd been vocal before,but this vocal?nah,never. The climax began and King gripped onto Pacers neck,he was twitching and his face looked even more messy now than how it looked when he was crying.

Pacer pulled off of him,the two looked like they had poured a bunch of glue between their junk from how much cum was there.

Pacer laid next to King and King put his face in his neck and dozed off. Sex was particularly exhausting for the King cause of his disability,but it never stopped him.

He covered King up with a blanket and just laid there with him,stroking his hair and cheeks before dozing off as well.

[dearwhateverthisis]

So heres the situation: that i sent to my father via FB message after a huge fight that left me an absolute wreck of tears and pain in my soul.

"i got up because i had to go to the bathroom. she was rolling away from me and i said mom u dont have to do clean in the study i said i was gonna do it today. yesterday immideatly after i turned inmy last final i came out and told her. she immidiatly had a whole list of things she wanted me to do. so i tried to make things stay calm so i threw all the trash and dishes and put a laod of laundry in my basket but i hadnt slept since or eatten since 3pm yester day and it was 1 pm the next day i put things in catagorie piles and got everything off the floor and evendid a few things in the bathroom. i told her i would vacumm and finish tommorrow wheni woke up but i was feeling tired and shakey. she didnt like that and said you where coming home and going to take the door off and clean. i saod no she doesnt have to ill do it when i wake up and i dont want you guys finding the christmas presents i havent wrapped yet. she just doesnt look at me and say 'well will see. dads coming home and taking the door off and he'll want it done' i said the same thing i said before. im tired, hungry im going to rest today and when i get up tommorow i will do it. finally she said okay just to placate me but i was so tired and over talking to her i just let it go. i showered and went to bed , cuz i wanted sleep more than food. so when i got up this morning and she was in there and ignored me several times when i was talking to her while walking away with me. she just kep saying 'go to bed. turn off the light.' im trying to talk to her, im trying to get her to understand. i want to keep the christmas things i picked out with tyna a suprise. i want you guys to have a good christmas. finally i say i need you to not go in there. if you go in there you will break my trust and things like that have consequences. i turn to leave and thats when she stops ignoring me. she says for you. consequences for you. she points at me i walk over to her. shes mad she starts telling me that the room is disqusting and i didnt clean enough yesterday and i let it get bad during finals and i said i finished school yesterday and i had to sleep. we talked about this remember when i get up ill clean. she rolls past me ignoring me saying move out. then move out get out. you can be terrible some where else. im so mad im trying to stay calm but mom when she feels like your disagreeing with her will say the first thing she knows will hurt you the most. i know i let my anxiety and depression make things hard not just for me but for everyone. i know i let me adhd get the better of me. i wish i could be better but some days im just trying to survive. I wish i could move out and give you both freedom from me. i want to have money to do those things for you. i know im a bad daughter. i try to be better but sometimes i just cant seem to get it across. when im with mom im reminded of just how bad i am. its like all the negative parts of me come to the surface and shes not afriad to tell me exactly what i am. but i dont need her to because i already know whats wrong with me. im sorry i woke you up this morning and ill try better in the future."

in a message where i showed a part of my inner soul that I almost never ever EVER show I say a few things.

my own mother has said vile and disgustinging things to me not for the first time

she went against her word to me not for the first time again

I have struggles with adhd, deppression and anxiety

I basically hate myself

my mother makes me understand why I hate myself and why others hsould

I apologize for basically being garbage

I wasn't in the wrong but I still apologized

well lets see what he had to say:

"Lots of issues up in the air. All families are broken. I don't have control of anything or anybody. I do my best to maintain good and reason. Push the negative about yourself away but actively be conscious to be better. The little things matter. The physical clutter in the places that you dwell send a message. Momma interprets the mess as disrespect. Respectful to her own mental struggles she will eventually explode. If you see Mommas Spirit as a little girl and you as a little girl then you can feel the compassion for the other. No perfection in this world. Look to the faith for dialog and answers. Ask hard questions. The good news is that there are glimpses of joy in the answers from Christ. It takes work and patience. You work hard at school but you have to also take time daily to physically organize the environment you share with others. Family will make you the angriest, but they are the people in life that mean the most. There is more to talk about. Thank God that I will have a few weeks off and a new baby is soon to arrive. Blessing counting dose me good. “To love is to will the good of another.” Summa Theologica. Thomas Aquinas 1273"

God what a low key general answer bunch of bullshit.

lets break it down.

"Lots of issues up in the air. All families are broken.:

how long can we live our lives with things up in the air. he's willing to heard directly that his wife is openly abusive to those around her for years and years and just go well its up in the air and were just like everyone else.

I don't have control of anything or anybody. I do my best to maintain good and reason. :

My fathers idea of good reason is sticking his head in the sand. you might not be able to control someone but you can help a situation. you can adult up and sit down with your wife and say hey you can be a real bitch and you shouldn't be because we and our daughter have bent over backwards to care for you.

------

a quick list of some things i have personally done for my mom that are above and beyond what any daughter especially an emotionally abused one should have to do for her abuser:

made excuses to family and friends for her drunken behaivior

lied and covered for her adictions

put her comfort before myown especially when I was younger

let people tell me exactly what I should be doing to make her better and then letting them talk down to me about ways to go about it and explain

be a mediator between her and my father and my sister

called 911 several times and handled that situation only to have her back track because who she is in front of other people isn't who she is with me. then I have several people blame me for over reacting.

trying to cover her strange behaiviors

trying to keep my family afloat and seem normal

handling her physical care several times throughout my life:from when she peed herself, fell, try and keep her from driving anywhere, physical care after her various hospital instancs

wiping her shit ass and vagina while she would laugh at me for being grossed out and emotionally upset for having to feel humiliated by doing that for someone who emotionally abused me my whole life

and the list can go on forever but those are some of the big ticket items from the last general 5 years.

----

Push the negative about yourself away but actively be conscious to be better. :

im working on being better im trying to be better mentally. I just told you that my mother basically called me disgusting and that is what you have to say! i basically told you that I hate myself and that's what you have to say!

The little things matter. The physical clutter in the places that you dwell send a message. Momma interprets the mess as disrespect. Respectful to her own mental struggles she will eventually explode:

i admit my adhd does get the better of me and I am more comfortable in messy surroundings than most but here's another message my surroundings say= I exist and live in only two small spaces. i eat, drink, live, explore my interests, have space to live and breath in these spaces. I have told my father many times that I only have a physical interaction time with my mother daily of about 15-30 minutes after that she becomes abusive and volatile. that time accounts for me just walking across the house to go to the garage or the fridge or even if she sees me walking into the bathroom. sometimes I even cut that time down to being seen by her 5-9 times.

If you see Mommas Spirit as a little girl and you as a little girl then you can feel the compassion for the other:

fuck you. absolutly fuck you. I dont know if that's some heal your inner child bullshit but that's not correct. my mother is a grown ass woman who acts like a spoiled child. I am a grown ass woman who is stuck in a shitty situation and cant escape. I am a grown woman who has lived with her abuser her whole life and is trying her best to not just live but be happy.

No perfection in this world. Look to the faith for dialog and answers. Ask hard questions. The good news is that there are glimpses of joy in the answers from Christ. It takes work and patience.:

i hate when people use faith as a catch all make it better. God gives us strength and guidance but he gave us free will. he wants us to look to him for faith and interpretation of how to live but unless we are doing the work and effort we arent going to accomplish anything.

uou work hard at school but you have to also take time daily to physically organize the environment you share with others. Family will make you the angriest, but they are the people in life that mean the most.

i dont want these nasty people to mean the most to me. I want to find new people. you cant use oh there family as an excuse that doesn't mean anything anymore. all it means is that people will judge you when you cut them out of your lives.

There is more to talk about. Thank God that I will have a few weeks off and a new baby is soon to arrive. Blessing counting dose me good. “To love is to will the good of another.” Summa Theologica. Thomas Aquinas 1273:

yeah there might be ore to talk about but your going to stick your head in the sand like always until it happens again and then ill get another one of these bull shit messages that will general solution fix messages with no action. then he concludes it all like a fucking email sign off with some bullshit religious quote.

anouther example of using religion to bandaid a bullet hole.

---------------------

ive always loved my dad for his kindness but I've also always known that he never will put me before my mother. in a way that makes him apart of the emotional abuse and toxic nature of my family.

i dont know if ill write more about this incident because I have a whole series of exchanges with my sister who can lowkey be just as clueless because she got out and doesn't have to deal with this shit any more.

i highly doubt my mother will apologise andif she does she wont mean It or it will be so generalized it will basically mean nothing and if i try to explain that to her she will gas light me and manipulate her words till its my fault again or im the total problem.

So in conclusion im so fucked and stuck here I have basically no hope.

so maybe im right maybe i am disgusting and worthy to be hated by myself and others and I should just accept that. any self value I've found in the last year was wrong and I need to just accept that I am worthy of hate and deserve now should expect anything more of my self and the world.

[enhypia]

SN ; always loving the sun

[4:21 PM]

okay so maybe the universe is not that bad

paring: kim sunoo x pisces gn!reader

genre: fluff, mild angst

word count: roughly 960 words

this is a two-part timestamp and this is the second part

read part 1 here!

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

you didn't go after it. but that didn't stop your feelings from growing.

it's final, the universe really is out to get you. you want to be around sunoo so bad but everything hurts. why were romantic feelings ever a thing.

"you're sure we're okay right?" sunoo asked again his lips pouting.

"yes sunoo, i swear, nothing's wrong, i've just been feeling drained lately, i think it's because of the chaos at home" you assured. 'it's actually because my feelings for you are eating me alive but you don't need to know that.' you thought

"well do you want to hang out after school later then? so you won't have to endure the noise for a while" he invited, his eyes sparkling again.

and that's the sound of your heart cracking, it took so much to not actually clutch your heart.

"sure! where are we going?" you replied brightly. sunoo visibly relaxes after seeing you being you again.

he's noticed changes in your attitude and it's always with him so he couldn't help but feel like he did something wrong. he knew you were lying but he didn't want to push since it was clear you weren't ready to say the truth.

it does sting that you can't tell him, but he understands, there are some things he can't tell you as well. like his big massive crush on you

"the arcade? then the park after?" he suggested.

"i'm good with the that, i have pent up rage about the stars, i'll release them on the shooting games" you joked making finger guns.

sunoo rolled his eyes at your antics, and maybe if you just looked closer, you would've seen the fondness and adoration in his look.

"the stars won't appreciate that" he teased, you shrugged in reply

"yeah well i don't appreciate what they've been doing lately so i think we're even"

"i can't wait for the day the stars give you what you want so i wouldn't have to hear you complaining"

"that's the dream sun, that's the dream"

'i don't think they'll give me you sunoo' you thought

⸻

walking in comfortable silence along the quieter parts of the park with sunoo was one of your favorite things in the world, but right now the dumb loud pounding of your heart is making you re-think.

"wait let me take a picture of the sky" you heard sunoo say. you stopped in your tracks and watch him take pictures, you couldn't help it and took a picture of him taking a picture.

"wow this turned out well" you said after checking the photo, you showed it to him and he smiled widely.

"send it to me, i'll post it on my instagram" he said then he went back to scrolling through the photos he took.

you continued to stare at the photo you took of him, another crack. the sound resonating in your brain.

he was walking ahead of you, i should probably get used to this view if all goes bad. you can't take hearing your heart break any more than it already is.

"hey sun" you call out softly and walking up to him.

"sun, look at my horoscope for the week" you said turning your phone to sunoo so he can read it.

"it's not hard to love. in fact you always are loving the sun. qualities of perspective ask you to consider. but your mind is made up" you read out loud, voice coming out a little shakey.

sunoo stares at you with wide curious eyes and gives you a questioning look.

"nothing sun, it's just scarily accurate." you stated. "it's not hard to love, in fact you always are loving the sun" you confessed, looking straight at him.

1.. 2.. 3.. a blush forms on his cheeks, his wide smile isn't helping. he covers his face with his hands.

he lets out a tiny squeal when he takes a peek at you.

"what?" you asked chuckling at his reaction. you're trying very hard to keep you cool.

"my brain isn't processing anything right now. you can't just drop something like that so suddenly! give a guy a warning. my heart is beating so fast it's like bang! bang! bang! you better take me to the hospital if something happens to me. oh god it's still not calming down. yah~ take responsibility for this" he rambles while clutching his heart.

you burst out laughing, the weight on your shoulder getting lighter.

"i had this whole thing planned out to confess to you but no you had to go and do it first, now what do i do with that idea? this is all your fault" he complained pouting at you. but your mind went blank the moment you heard "confess to you"

"you were going to what?" you asked in disbelief. sunoo's blush got impossibly deeper upon realizing what he said, he turned and speed walked away from you.

"yah! kim sunoo get back here!" you exclaimed chasing after him.

"no! go away!"

"kim sunoo if you like me stop right now!" you cry.

sunoo stopped. kim sunoo stopped.

you couldn't help the tears falling from your eyes. sunoo turned at the sound of your sniffling and he was right in front of you immediately.

"why? why? why?" he panicked trying to wipe your tears. you laughed at him, at yourself, at the universe.

"i'm just so happy, i didn't think it'd end this way" you answered.

sunoo rarely initiates skinship, but here he was engulfing you in a hug. the cracks in your heart were healing itself.

"are the stars on your side now?" he asked after releasing you from his hold.

"i think they always were, i just refused to listen"

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

prev.

masterlist ⸺ enhypen masterlist

a/n: this was longer than i intended it to be but im happy with the result, i got this idea when i saw the tweet for pisces about loving the sun, i instantly thought of sunoo, then the previous horoscope matches that's why i decided to cut it into two parts. i enjoyed writing this and i hope you guys like it as well <33

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen timestamps #kim sunoo scenarios #kim sunoo imagines #kim sunoo timestamps #kim sunoo x reader #sunoo fluff #sunoo #enhypen sunoo #sunoo x reader #enhypen x gender neutral reader #sunoo imagines #sunoo scenarios #sunoo timestamps

[warmau]

☆ko-fi au: rich kid!au inseong other rich kid aus: hongseok | hyungwon | haechan

you should have known something was wrong when your date didn't send you the address for the restaurant you two were going to meet at for the first time

instead opting for an expensive and suspicious-looking black car that makes itself a nuisance in front of your apartment building

you stare at it from the door and beside you is your neighbor, a busybody office worker named dawon, who holds his mail in one hand and twists his mouth up into a frown

"i wouldn't get in that car if i were you."

"it looks like it's a bmw"

"this date of yours is starting to look like a psychopath."

you roll your eyes, but the sentiment isn't lost on you

who has the money to rent this kind of car? all for a dinner date?

you look at your phone where there's a text from your date, kim inseong, who you met through one of those online dating apps you had sworn you'd never use

but with the years passing by and your friends all gushing about the fountain of love and relationship

you had caved

actually, you had caved after a particularly teary-eyed solo re-watch of breakfast at tiffany's

not that you really cared about the plot or anything - just that the fantasy of being loved and taken care of for the rest of your life - well

whatever, the point was you had made a profile and you had matched with inseong

you were initially worried about him being a catfish - the one unnormal thing on his profile was the fact that he was gorgeous

but a video chat had melted those doubts away

still, this car and this secret reservation was starting to raise red flags

"im taking down the license plate number"

dawon says and you re-read the text from inseong again

'are you sure you can't just tell me the address of this place? i can take the train'

'don't worry, the car will get you there faster and the hostess knows the driver so you won't have any issues with the reservation'

you slip your phone into your pocket, suddenly aware that all you're bringing is it and your keys

dawon is furiously taking photos of the car now and you tell him it'll be ok

he asks before you go out to the car, "what's this guys name?"

"kim - kim inseong."

dawon's eyes go wide and he gapes, you tell him to stop fooling around as you wave goodbye

just as the door shuts, you don't hear dawon go

"that kim inseong?"

the driver is quiet but polite and you try to overcompensate with your manners and not pester him about where you're going

the inside of the car smells of new leather and there isn't a speck of dirt or evidence of anyone else being in here but you

the city's winding streets and lights both distract and worry you and you nervously tap on the dating app to see inseong's profile again

a mirror selfie is the first picture, he's smiling and looks like he might be in a fancy hotel bathroom somewhere

the next picture is him and a couple of what you assume are work buddies

the next is him at a bookshop, wearing pretty framed glasses that compliment the shape of his face

his interests are artsy and he says he works in photography

he's a cancer and he likes ballads and doing puzzles

his profile is pretty generic, you don't want to be vain but you'd matched with him because he was totally hot, but also after talking you'd come to realize there was more

he was definitely witty, charming, and didn't ever send you the kind of messages you had heard horror stories about

(three am hookups or requests for pictures of your feet)

you close the app, just as the driver parks the car and you expect to get out at some small, but cute italian place

or at most somewhere more new and stylish that might have been mentioned in a magazine

you do not think you're going to stop in front of one of seoul's most high-end restaurants

the kind of place that looks like it should be a palace - high rise ceilings and huge fountains and a line of hopeful socialities waiting around the corner praying someone miss their reservation

the driver comes around to your side, opening the door and suddenly you look down and think

im not dressed for this place, hell im not a person made for this place

you step out and he motions for you to pass the line, up the stairs and into the huge doors

as soon as the hostess sees him she shoves forward a lanky looking valet boy and sends you a big, red-lipsticked smile

"ah, you're mr. kim's date. come with me - he's in our private dining room."

you feel like a newborn animal walking on shakey legs as you follow her, you walk past the first level of dinners who are seated at elegant looking tables in low light

there's a hum of talking and the sound of someone pouring wine

you look for inseong, but don't see him anywhere

the hostess leads you to an elevator at the back - and when it arrives she motions for you to go inside and tells the person inside that you'll be going to floor nine

turns out the entirety of floor nine is one big dining room, adorned in gold and red and at the table right before one of the huge windows is inseong

you can't think of a word to say - not even when his eyes light up to match the chandeliers and he stands up from his seat to greet you

"inseong"

you squeak and he says your name prettily like it's the name of a flower

"inseong - " you repeat and look at him with eyes like saucers "is this some kind of practical joke?"

the look of happiness on his face dims

"w-what?"

"where are we, this place of town is for millionaires - stars, i can't afford to eat here! i probably can't even afford to breathe the air here! if this is your idea of a fun prank date then im going to-"

you throw your hands up, fussing so much so that the waiter who had wanted to come over stops in their tracks

inseong looks at you and for a moment there's hurt in his expression but then something else dawns on him

"you didn't know?"

you shake your head - "how would i have known that this is some elaborate joke! i knew those dating apps would end up embarrassing me-"

"no, i mean you don't know who i am?"

your hands swing down to your sides and you look at him almost stupidly

"well, you're kim inseong."

"yes."

he motions to the photographs that line the red-painted wall, all framed and featuring famous models and public figures

they look vaguely familiar, as if you seen them multiple times on the covers of magazines or newspapers

"im kim inseong, the photographer of seoul"

a blankness coats the room and then, like a rubber band, it snaps into place

the magazine covers, the job title 'photographer' on his profile, and now the inseong standing in front of you in head to toe gucci

you step back like you've just been approached by a dangerous-looking beast

hands flying up to your mouth

"oh my god - you're famous and-"

he grins, "and rich."

somehow you sit down, probably because the news hits you like a truck and you can't stand any longer

it's enough time for inseong to wave the waiter over safely and order wine for the two of you as well as an appetizer in french that glosses over your head

he looks at you and folds his hands under his chin

"i thought you knew."

"why is a millionaire like you on a dating app for plebeians"

he shakes his head, "you're not a plebeian"

"im pretty sure my yearly salary is the same amount as one of your cameras."

he looks down at his wine and swallows, suddenly the air of glowing confidence and ease shrinks

"you're right. it's silly of me to say i wasn't trying to act a little bit below my status by joining the app."

you straighten in your seat

"i - i didn't mean it like that, i mean rich people still want love im sure - i mean you're a normal person."

"normal?" he flicks his gaze to you "no one has ever called me that."

great, here i am putting my foot in my mouth in front of one of seoul's most eligible bachelors

"i mean - i just. ok i mean you're not 'normal' in your field of work but you want to feel a connection right. that's why you joined the app - just like me. you just want someone in your life."

you don't notice the little smile that tugs at the corner of inseong's long lips

your appetizer arrives and you are offput by the amount of truffle on it

inseong tells you to look at the menu and order anything you like and as much of it as you want to

one look at the price and you tell him you'll pass, you'll get mcdonalds on your way home

"please don't worry, it'll go on my bill"

he insists and you cross your arms

"this is our first date, we go dutch. i can't have you treating me if im not even your partner yet"

inseong bites his tongue not to laugh at the simple way you look at everything

"fine, well then." he closes the menu and snaps his fingers, within a moment a man arrives at his side - you assume it's his assistant "let's got to mcdonalds together."

you think he's being funny, but he's not

you find yourself in the second expensive car of the day. this time it's a slicked silver lamborghini that inseong drives with an almost alarming carelessness.

he seems to have forgotten how to order at a drive-through and so you have to lean over his lap to speak for the both of you

as you put in the order, inseong flushes and tries not to look at the areas of your shirt that have slide up as you hang out of the window

when you sit back you grin at him

"i hope you like chicken nuggets"

inseong does, so much so that he eats his and puppy dog begs you for one of yours

you both sit in his car and you try not to spill anything, but inseong says not to worry about being careful. he has another car (or five) that he can use if you stain the seat with your sprite

but aside from that you ask inseong more about his life

you had briefly chatted before you met, but now there was a treasure trove of new information about him to unlock

the weird thing is that you just genuinely want to know

inseong picks up on it, you have no ulterior motive. you haven't had one since you found out who he really was.

you nibble on a fry as you ask, "so are you traveling these days for work?"

"usually. when we video chatted i was in denmark."

you stick your tongue out

"denmark! what a show off, my last vacation was a two hour train ride outside of seoul."

"well - where do you want to go?"

you gather your garbage and his neatly, inseong finds the normal gesture pangs something in his heart

"hmmm i think i would want to go someone really warm. like brazil or chile."

"are you free this weekend?"

you blink and turn to look at him

"are you asking me on a second date?"

he puts a hand on the wheel and nods

"yes."

"well - i am free actually.......but if we go on a date let's not do anymore uptight restaurants."

he promises he won't and instead he says he'll pick somewhere comfortable and fun

you try not to get bashful when he says your photos do you no justice - you should let him take your portrait next time too

and although he drives you home in his car, you are aware of the black car you arrived in following close behind

when he stops in front of your apartment you turn and mumble that you had a good time, after the heart attack-inducing revelation of his identity

inseong laughs and you straighten your shoulders slightly

he notices the way you position yourself slightly and he turns to you too. suddenly the look in his bright eyes dulls just a bit as he lingers from looking into your eyes to your lips

you decide to be brave - closing your eyes as an invitation

inseong's smile is soft against your lips when he leans in

nothing more than that happens and you blurt out that you'll look forward to the next date, inseong watches you scurry inside your apartment before letting out the breath of nervousness he's been holding

never thinking you would give him butterflies he hasn't felt since he was in high school

when you get home - dawon is knocking on your apartment in five minutes

and you two spend an hour going through inseong's photos again as dawon points out that "how could you not know he's rich, he's wearing a 100k watch in this bathroom selfie!"

you tell him you're just dumb, or maybe just charmed by who inseong is rather than his money

dawon doesn't believe it but he asks when your second date is and you say this weekend

"where is he taking you?"

you giggle, "he said somewhere comfortable and nice! maybe we'll go to a market or something."

the weekend comes and. inseong has bought you two private jet tickets to brazil.

such is the world of dating a rich kid.

#rich kid au #sf9 scenarios #sf9 au #inseong scenarios #inseong au #sf9 imagines #inseong imagines #kim inseong #sf9 #inseong x reader #sfw #ko fi commissions

[pizzaboat]

I kinda wrote a mom eda fic, cause I wanted to try writing. This is like the first fic I've ever writen so keep in mind it's not gonna be perfect.. but I'm happy how it turned out.. so here!

Some honesty before breakfast

To say Eda had noticed something off with her apprentice, would be an understatement. 

Luz's cheery attitude had all but disappeared for the past two days, and instead had been replaced with a quite sadness that followed the girl wherever she went in the house. Her smiles seemed forced, never quite reaching her eye's, lacking the warmth and joy they usually had.

Eda knew she should have seen this coming, the slow change in luz's demeanour. The portal had been destroyed a month ago, but she'd been too caught up in mourning the loss of her magic, processing the cluster fuck that had been the last few months and adjusting to her older sister taking up residency in her shed, she hadn't noticed.

She should have acted sooner.

Because Eda now watched Luz half heartedly engage in her and King's infamous and dreaded "comedy hour" with all the enthusiasm of Lilith on hooty's cleaning day. 

"Luz, you're not paying attention!" King whined, "my food puns are genius, and not even a smirk!

"Come on, this is some of my best material!" The tiny demon added, dropping what was left of his toast onto his plate.

"Sorry king, I was paying attention" Luz assured pushing her untouched breakfast away "I was just thinking as well, that's all.."

"Sounds like not paying attention to me" He grumbled.

Sounds like a terrible cover up.

Eda finished the last of her Appleblood, pushed away from the counter she was leaning on and picked King up earning a "nyee" from him as she placed him on the floor.

"why don't you go play with your army of dolls or something?" Eda told him.

"They're my army of darkness!" He corrected "and its not playing, it's scheming. machinating if you will"

"Whatever, go do that. I need to talk to Luz" She sighed.

Luz shifted in her seat, and went to leave.

"Actually,  I have a ton of homework so-"

"Nope" Eda cut the girl off "you stay, king go" she ordered 

King muttered something about world domination as he scurried off, and Luz and Eda were left alone of the kitchen.

"So.. is this about potions delivery's?" Luz asked "because I know I haven't been doing the deliveries alot lately and-"

"Kid, what?-no, that isn't what this is about"

Luz fidgeted with the string of her hoody "then, what is this about?" 

"You tell me, you've been acting weird lately- well weirder than usual" Eda said, taking Kings seat at the table and pushing his leftovers aside.

"Its not that big a deal, really" Luz said, but the waver in her voice betrayed her.

Titan help her.

Eda sighed and rubbed her eyes "Look, I'm not an idiot kid, I know somethings up, and I know the past month has been rough. For everyone"

And here comes the emotional mush..

"I know it can't be easy" Eda continued, trying to choose her next words carefully.

"Living under the same roof as Lilith after what's happened, or adjusting to all this crap,  the portal door being destroyed.."

Titan she had no clue what she was doing. How do you comfort people?

"But I want you to know that whatever the problem is, I'm here to help. it matters if it upsets you" Eda told her "and I'll be hexed if I'll let my kid suffer in silence"

"So what's bothering you?"

They sat there for a moment. Eda wasn't sure if her lackluster attempt at reassurance had helped the girl, she searched Luz's face for any signs of what she might be thinking.

Finally, Luz let out in a shakey breath "I miss my mom"

Ah, shit. Of course, the poor kid missed her mother. She really should have guessed that.

"I destroyed the door, to stop belos and- and to save you" Luz's voice cracked " but I miss her.. y'know? .. when things would go wrong back home, she was always there, she knew what to do..." Tears started well in her eyes and spill out onto her cheeks.

Luz sucked in a breath of air " I don't know what to do..the doors gone, and it's my fault and she's probably really worried about me, and its MY fault.

"Im scared I'll never see her again. Eda, I miss my home. I miss my mom"

Of course. None of this was Luz's fault though. Not really. It was Eda's. She was the adult and should have sent her home that first day. But she was selfish and now Luz was paying the price.

"I don't regret saving you though" She continued,  and Eda blinked in surprise.

"Leaving you guys behind was never an option. being here with you and King.. its kinda like home here too" Another shakey breath.

"I know I shouldn't complain 'cause I did this to my self but-" Luz's voice cut off and gave way to sobbing.

Eda didn't know how it happened but she found herself at the other side of the table, wrapping Luz up in one of those "parallel arm" things.

She scooped the girl up easily and sat her on her lap, holding her close as Luz continued to cry. This poor kid, who'd brought so much light into Eda's life, Changed it for the better, magic be damned, was suffering and there was no way in hell Eda was going to stand back and watch her blame herself.

Luz had given up everything. 

In one of the few times where Eda felt compeled to do the right thing, Eda vowed to herself she'd make this right.

"Luz" The witch said with a softness that surprised herself "None of this is your fault, it's OK to be upset"

"it's my fault not yours, I want- no. need you to know that. I'm gonna fix this. I'll find a way to get you back home, and you'll be able to see your mom again" she said, stroking her hair.

"I promise"

Luz looked up from where she had her head buried in Eda's sweater, her eyes were red rimmed and puffey. Luz rubbed at her eyes, and sniffed.

"You promise?" Luz asked, voice horse.

Eda nodded, brushing some of luz's hair back, fixing it.

"I promise, and that's a promise from the most powerful witch on the boiling Isles, kiddo. it's a big deal, infact you should feel kinda honoured"

Luz laughed. And there it was. That smile that had been missing for so long. Eda wasn't going to let anything happen to it again.

"I kind of ruined your sweater" Luz said apologetically as she pulled away.

Eda looked down at her sweater. yep. Human snot. Gross as all hell.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't like the sweater anyway"

Yes she did.

Luz jumped off of Eda's lap "how do you feel now?" Eda asked

"better" Luz smiled, rubbing her eyes still.

"Good, I can't have my apprentice's in emotional distress" eda smirked "it'd be bad for business"

"I'm your only apprentice" Luz shot back grinning.

"details" Eda waved her hand dismissively.

Eda looked at her now. She wasn't crying anymore, which was good. Eda could still see residual tears, but Luz was smiling, no matter how small it was, she was actually smiling again, and that was what mattered.

A loud definitive gurgle sounded through out the room.

"I never ate breakfast" Luz whispered sheepishly.

Luz turned back to her breakfast cereal to see it had long since turned to disgusting mush in the bowl.

"i'll eat something else.." She decided heading towards the cupboards.

Eda had an idea.

"We could make something"

Luz perked up.

"Really?!" 

"I mean, yeah why not?" Eda shrugged " I haven't eaten yet and-"

"Can we make pancakes?!" The girl asked with barely contained excitement "I can dress King up in a little chefs outfit, and we could have pancakes!"

"Um.."

"I have so much prep work to do!" Luz exclaimed as she dashed out the door.

"Kid!" Eda called

"Yeah?" Luz popped her head back in the door.

"Don't forget that if your ever worried about anything at all, you can talk to me. I meant what I said, I'm here to help"

"I know, thanks Eda. I love you" and she was gone.

Eda blinked.

"I love you too, Luz"

#the owl house #eda clawthorne #luz noceda #king #edalyn clawthorne #eda the owl lady #toh king #toh eda #toh luz #toh #toh fanfic #mom eda #this is probably really out of character #i dont really know what im doing #its my first fic #and im proud tho #lilith clawthorne #hooty #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff

[megalony]

We have to go

I know I’ve been absent for a few weeks but I’ve finally managed to get an imagine done. This is a murderer! Ben Hardy imagine that I might do a follow up part for if you all like it. Feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​  @tabsispage​ @allauraleigh​ @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

Murderer! Ben masterlist

Summary: Ben is a hitman and that means he has to be careful that he doesn’t put his family at risk. That means that when he is in danger, they have to move, sometimes in the dead of night.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) tiredly fluttered her eyes open, blinking to adjust to the darkness of the room before she slowly started to scan her eyes around for Ben. Her brain was so accustomed to being woken up in the night or early morning due to her husband that any noises she heard no longer set off her anxiety. It was normal to hear him looking around for his keys, his belt or his clothing when he got up early or came home late. And (Y/n) was no stranger to listening to him stumbling home from a late night, smelling of booze and crawling into bed and wrapping himself around her like a vine.

But as she slowly looked around for him, (Y/n) started to wake up a bit when she noticed Ben was moving around the room rather quickly. He was clearly moving things by the way (Y/n) could hear clothing being ruffled and items being picked up and discarded like tissue.

What was he up to?

There was no time for (Y/n) to try and formulate any words or sit herself up in bed before her heart jumped in her chest as she was suddenly staring into her husband's wild eyes. Ben was crouched down in front of the bed, his arms folded on the edge of the bed and his chin resting on his arm and (Y/n) could barely make out the small tight-lipped smile on his lips through the darkness of their shared bedroom.

"Hey baby. Sorry to wake you darlin' but I need you to get up cause we got a lot to do." Ben's voice was quiet as he knew (Y/n) had only just woken up due to him rushing around the room and he knew he would be confusing her but he needed her to be awake before he even began to explain what was going on.

He leaned forward and stole a quick but very desperate kiss from her lips, nipping at her lower lip with his teeth before he pulled back and pushed himself to his feet.

A groan escaped (Y/n)'s lips when Ben flicked on the bedside lamp before he went back to doing whatever he had been doing that woke her up. (Y/n) couldn't fathom what was happening but all she did know was that Ben was in his organised panic mood. When Ben had to get things done he made sure he did it but when it was something panicking him he started to get a bit shakey and moved and talked quicker than normal like life was moving on fast forward setting.

Ben was never a settled man, it didn't matter if he was oddly calm or if he was always thinking about something, he had to be moving and doing something. He liked to organise and reorganise the house, it helped him calm down and get his mind in order and he liked a clean tidy house more than (Y/n) did so when he was home he got to work. Sitting down to watch a movie was something he couldn't always do but he did try and relax, it just didn't seem to be in his nature.

"Ben... what are you doing?" (Y/n) slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position that made her head spin considering she had only just woken up. She wanted to go back to sleep, she wanted Ben to crawl into bed and sleep with her or even for him to just babble about his day and draw patterns on her skin until he dozed off. She just wanted to sleep rather than wake up and work out what he was doing now.

(Y/n) could feel her heart starting to pound against her ribcage in a way that made her body coil forward itch from how uncomfortable the feeling was. Ben was stuffing clothing into bags. He was packing up their stuff in a haphazard kind of way that (Y/n) had seen before.

"Ben..."

The way she slowly said his name with a warning tone caused him to momentarily stop what he was doing to look at her.

"We need to go."

Those four little words were enough to force a whine past (Y/n)'s lips and make tears well up in her eyes without her even having to know the reasons behind Ben's words. In the six years that (Y/n) had been with Ben, she had heard those words a dozen times and she knew instantly that this was going to be a bad one.

Whenever Ben said those words it meant one of two things. It either meant that something had gone wrong with a deal or a fight and they would have to go away for a few days or weeks and then come back home. Or it was more serious and meant they would have to take everything and move homes altogether. (Y/n) hated when it meant they had to move and that had happened three times in the six years she had been with Ben. She knew what he did, she knew he was a hitman and that it meant killing people for large sums of money.

Ben loved what he did and he knew what kind of a man that made him. It made him a monster for killing people who either deserved to be killed or simply needed to be killed to fit someone else's plans and life. Ben was good at what he did and he had the kind of conscience where killing people didn't play on his mind at all, he felt no remorse for what he did. Despite being a family man and being someone who would go to the ends of the Earth to keep his family safe, Ben was a killer at heart.

But none of that mattered to (Y/n) because she always saw the other side to Ben. She saw the kind, loving and caring man who would do anything for her without her having to ask. She saw the man who smiled at her when she did nothing at all, the man who would wrap himself around her and just hold her because he wanted to feel her touch. (Y/n) saw a man who would do absolutely anything for her and for their children and that made her uncaring to what he did for a living.

But part of what Ben did meant that he had to have a normal home life, or as normal of one as he could manage. If people believed he was a good family man like he actually was, then they were less likely to believe that he was a cold blooded killer.

(Y/n) was fine with that. She was fine with creating a perfect family image for Ben because it was what she wanted, she wanted a loving family and Ben was a loving husband and father despite the cruel and heartless ways he killed people without even needing a reason to clear his conscience. But (Y/n wanted to have a home that she could decorate and make feel like it was theirs that they didn't have to uproute and leave when things went wrong. (Y/n) wanted to live somewhere where she had friends and family to talk to and be around, she wanted their boys to grow up in one place and have a permanent school rather than going to different schools and nurseries whenever things went wrong.

Leaving within a few days was okay, (Y/n) could deal with quickly packing things up and moving within a space of a week. That was okay, (Y/n) took at least three months to decorate each home they had in case they had to quickly move. She left items in boxes and essentials in easy places or bags in cupboards so if Ben did something bad they didn't have to run around and look for everything to pack up.

But they had been in this house for two years.

Billy had been born in this house and (Y/n) had it decorated lovely, they had nice neighbours for a change who weren't nosy or rude or creepy. (Y/n) had a lot of old friends in this neighbourhood and it wasn't a bad area to live in. She wanted this to be their home and to stay their home, she didn't want to take another long drive to a random destination and find a new home and start again.

Ben knew this.

Ben knew (Y/n) wanted a normal family life and a permanent home and he wanted that for her too. Before he met her Ben had a few flings and one night stands but had been dead set against being a family man because it would be too hard with his job. Then (Y/n) walked into his life and changed his outlook completely. She made him fall madly in love with her without having to do anything at all. They had two boys together and Ben loved when he came home and switched to being a normal family man, it made him so close to changing his job to something normal and reliable and more to the point, legal.

But he couldn't do that, deep down he would never be able to change that much so he did everything in his power to make their family normal, loving and happy.

"No. Ben we can deal with this... we'll call Joe or we'll just go for a week or two and say it's a holiday, Ben please." (Y/n) rubbed her hands over her face as she tried to think of anything they could do without really knowing what had gone on. She didn't want to move, they couldn't move right now it was bad timing, it was so bad.

"Baby, baby look at me." Ben moved until he was sat down on the bed next to (Y/n) so he could take her hands in his own. "Someone in connection to one of my old targets is here. Now they know me and if they find out about my last target they will put two and two together. This was always a risk and I need us to move before they spot me and things get ugly."

"Can't we just go for a few weeks-"

"I can't take that risk babydoll. My last target was an hour away from this town, that was close enough to home as it is and if someone says my name around here or this person sees me it will be a lot worse. I need us to be safe cause this person is dangerous and therefore we have to go. I've got a place sorted for now and then we'll search for a permanent place soon I promise."

Ben had targets, they were the people he killed because using names or any other tags made it too real for him and for (Y/n). Targets seemed easier, it was hard to imagine a person as a target. Sometimes in order to kill people Ben had to get close or talk to people who were close to his targets and that meant he took the risk of them recognising him. If this person recognised him and found out about someone who had been murdered an hour away from Ben's hometown it would be suspicious and Ben knew this man would know enough to suspect Ben of being a killer.

His first priority was his family and that meant that if someone was threatening their safety Ben uprooted them to keep them all safe. He also made sure he didn't take any jobs for at least two months in order to make sure things blew over and quietened down.

Ben could see the tears forming in (Y/n)'s eyes and it made his stomach churn to see her so cut up. He let go of her hands so he could hold onto her hip and cup her face with his free hand. His thumb smoothed over her cheek to brush away a stray tear before he leaned close and pressed his forehead against her own like he was trying to merge their thoughts together. Ben knew (Y/n) would eventually be okay with this, once they found a house she adored they would buy it and decorate it until it was perfect and Ben would do everything he could to make sure it was a forever home for them.

But right now he just had to move them all to keep them safe.

"We can't do a midnight flit, Ben. The boys... they won't understand, it'll be hard to move everything like it always is. And the baby..."

(Y/n) closed her eyes and leaned her temple more against Ben's as she wished this was just a bad dream she was going to wake up from at any moment.

The boys were five and two, they weren't going to understand why they were leaving in the middle of the night and not going back to the place they knew to be their home. They would be confused, leaving their friends behind and going to a new home, a new school where they would have to make new friends and get used to a new school system. It would be a lot for them to take in, the last time they had moved Billy hadn't even been born but it was a lot for Harvey to cope with since he had only been three at the time.

Billy had been born in this house, (Y/n) had hoped that was a sign that this might be their forever home and she wanted this baby to be born in this home too. She wanted to get through this pregnancy without anymore problems or worries happening to make everything turn upside down.

Ben knew this was bad timing, he had been afraid of something like this happening and he wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't the only option he had right now. (Y/n) had suffered a miscarriage when Billy had only been ten months old, it had been a short time between his birth and getting pregnant again only for (Y/n) to lose the baby and suffer a very bad haemorrhage which hospitalized her for a week. That traumatic event had panicked Ben because it had taken a toll on (Y/n) and Ben couldn't take any jobs for four months because he had to look after (Y/n) and the boys.

They had finally gotten to a better point in their lives where the boys were fine, their relationship was great and (Y/n)'s depression caused by the miscarriage was under control. Learning they were pregnant again had been a worry and a shock and (Y/n) had been scared of losing this baby too.

Ben didn't want to uproot their family right now when (Y/n) had been put on bedrest for the remainder of her pregnancy due to complications. He didn't want to take any risks when it came to this baby because (Y/n) losing another baby would kill her too and she was his whole world. But if he didn't move them all now he risked someone finding out about him and either the police would get involved or it would get a lot worse and he would have the risk of his family being put in harms way.

"I know, I know it's shit timing baby but we have to go now. I'm gonna go pack the car and I'll try and keep the boys asleep and move them to the car. You know the drill, doll."

He pressed another longing kiss to (Y/n)'s temple, carding his fingers through the hair at the back of her head before he slowly pulled away and stood to his feet. Whenever this happened, and it had only happened three times before, they had a drill to go through. They packed clothing, paperwork, money and any other essentials into backpacks and carry on bags to stuff into the car and then Ben or Joe would come back to the house in a few days and clear it out. They took the essentials and came back for everything else when it was clear and Ben would sort out the house in terms of cancelling the rental and cutting off the electric and giving back the keys.

A sigh escaped (Y/n)'s lips as she rubbed at her eyes that were so desperate to shed tears but she had no effort or will to cry. She was too tired and numb to cry no matter how badly she felt she needed to in order to feel better.

(Y/n) tried to busy herself getting dressed but she kept stopping and staring at the wall in front of her or finding her eyes locked onto Ben, watching his every movement. He had managed to rather neatly pack their clothes into two carry on bags within minutes and was now kneeling down at the foot of the bed in order to get the dark grey box he always kept there.

(Y/n) watched the way Ben's silver chain around his neck hung forward like a medallion trying to show him some kind of sign. The silver ring that hung so neatly at the end of the chain was slowly swaying back and forth, repeatedly tapping against Ben's chest each time it fell back towards him. With what Ben did for a living, he knew it was best to keep his wedding ring around his neck so no one could see it. If people did end up finding him and knowing what he did then at least they wouldn't know he was married and had a family.

It had only now dawned on (Y/n) that Ben was only wearing his black work jeans and nothing else, no shirt, no hoodie, not even any socks. She wondered what he had been doing before he woke her up, maybe he had gotten blood on his clothes and therefore had washed them or even binned them. Maybe he worked himself into a state and stripped off in a hot flush which had happened a few times before. Maybe he had been in the midst of changing clothes and felt he had to pack up before he finished getting dressed.

Without his shirt it allowed all of Ben's marks and tattoos to be on display, not that (Y/n) hadn't already gotten each one memorised so that when she closed her eyes she could still see a map of his body.

There was something about Ben's look that was so calming and affectionate despite the many marks covering his skin. He had scars littering his skin from where knives had cut through him during bad and drunken fights in the dead of night, he never seemed to go a single day without bruises of some sort forming somewhere on his person. And the tattoos he had made his body look like a road map. Ben had dates inked into his skin of when the boys had been born and the date of when he had married (Y/n), plus a few designs on his arms and his lower abdomen.

Ben had roman numerals tattooed onto each knuckle on both hands and he had the same design on the back of his neck in large black ink. All of these marks would normally warn people away from him, they made him look dangerous and as if he was a threat or just made him intimidating. But (Y/n) always seemed to overlook all the marks and the ink, it was as if the colours faded and she just saw the person Ben was. He seemed to loving and inviting to everyone despite his outlook.

(Y/n)'s staring didn't go unnoticed by Ben, he could feel her eyes boring into his skin like she was trying to burn him with her intense gaze but he paid no mind to her staring. It was something (Y/n) naturally seemed to do and it never bothered him.

He found the box under the bed that he had been searching for and when he took off the lid, he started placing all the documents into the small backpack he had gotten ready. The grey box was something they took everywhere with them, it contained their passports, the boys' birth certificates, their insurance numbers and documents. But it also held a plastic wallet filled with fake documents. Ben had fake passports, driving licenses, insurance numbers and legal documents created so that if things got tricky they could switch identities in emergencies.

It was harder now they had the boys because they couldn't go changing the boys' names and think that they would understand but Ben had to have the documents made just in case a new identity was needed.

He also kept a lot of money and credit cards stashed away because when they had to disappear like this, cash was the best way to pay for things because it couldn't be tracked like a credit card could.

Breaking out of her trance, (Y/n) slowly padded across the carpet to where Ben was knelt down in front of the bed. Without saying anything, she held her hand out to her husband who placed two credit cards, a driving licence and an unknown amount of cash into her hand. (Y/n) knew the drill, she would place all of those items into the seam of her handbag so if they got stuck or had to improvise, she could take them out of the hidden seam and start using them.

She leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Ben's temple before she headed out of the room and quietly made her way downstairs. They had to be quick but they couldn't be too loud in case they woke the boys.

It felt like they were both in a trance or placed on autopilot because they knew what they were doing. The first time this happened they had been rushing around like headless chickens trying to remain calm. They had talked about what they would do if this situation ever happened but actually going through it was a lot different. But now it was a drill, it was a fire drill and they had to do what they always did to make sure everything went smoothly.

The couple bypassed one another in the hall and when going up or down the stairs to get the bags to pack the car.

(Y/n) went into Harvey's room and Ben went into Billy's room, both of them working in the darkness to pack up their son's clothes, essential toys that they couldn't go without and the bits such as bottles and beakers and nappies.

"Double-check there isn't anything you need to take tonight then go get in the car, I'll get the boys." Ben rested his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders, slowly massaging his fingers into her skin before he turned and made his way into Harvey's room.

Ben grabbed a pair of socks and sat down on the end of Harvey's bed, slowly moving the cover so he could slide the socks onto his eldest boy's feet so he wouldn't get cold. He pulled the navy blue fluffy blanket from the end of the bed and was carful when wrapping it around his son before he effortlessly eased Harvey from the bed. His look-alike stayed motionless and in a sleeping state just like Ben expected, nothing every seemed to wake Harvey up, not even a thunderstorm or an earthquake.

He hated to do this.

Ben hated himself as he walked down the stairs, holding his son to his chest tighter with every step he went down. He didn't want to imagine how the conversation would go when the five year old woke up to realise he was no longer at home but was in the car driving to a new home in a new town. But it had to be done, and this was easier than waking Harvey and trying to explain everything to him right now.

It didn't take long for Ben to kneel in the car and slowly settle Harvey into his car seat with the blanket still tucked around him and his rabbit toy cocooned under his arm. Ben made sure the small emergency light in the front of the car was switched off for now so it wouldn't wake Harvey who couldn't stand any lights on in his room when he went to sleep.

He made his way back into the house and up to Billy's room, slipping a pair of socks onto the two year old and a jumper to make sure he stayed warm before he wrapped Billy's sleeping blanket around him and cradled him in the crook of his left arm.

Ben felt his heart jumping in his chest when Billy curled up into his chest, sighing as he tucked his face into Ben's side in his sleep. This was why Ben was doing this, he couldn't have anything happening to (Y/n) or their boys, he couldn't have them in danger because of him.

When Billy was curled up in his car seat safe and sound, Ben headed back inside, doing a double check of the house to make sure the essentials were in the car and all that was left were the decorations and household items that didn't need to be taken with them. He could see the pain in (Y/n)'s eyes as she looked around the house whilst pulling her cardigan tighter around her frame to fight out the bitter old of the early morning.

"I'm sorry, doll."

"I know. But can we just... try and make the next one a bit more permanent?" (Y/n) looked up at Ben with tired eyes that softened like melting chocolate when Ben wound his arms around her waist so he could pull her closer to his chest.

"We will, I promise. And this is just a precaution, I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't to keep you all safe. We have a good cover up, anyway." Ben inched his hand under (Y/n)'s cardigan until the palm of his hand was resting against the side of her stomach.

He was only moving them for their safety, and their family was the best cover they could ask for. They had two young boys and a baby on the way, no one was going to think they were anything but an ordinary, loving family.

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #murderer! ben #dad! ben #BoRhap #imagine #pregnant! reader

[missdawnandherdusk]

Draco’s Boundaries Headcanons (before the Dark Mark):

When you first start talking to him you notice he flinches around your faster movements

And when you draw your wand, pointing it at him to heal his broken nose/hand/arm from a quidditch accident and he about sobs, you realize that you really need to talk to him

You tell him your observations and he’s quiet, ashamed

You ask what does he need to feel safe around you

He’s quiet a moment, thoughtful

He doesn’t like his shoulders touched, nor his collarbones.

The backs of his arms along with his upper arms are off limits for now

Touching his hair is out of the question presently

If it’s above his elbows at all he doesn’t want to be touched

He’s just so scared of the wrong sort of touch

You also, unbeknownst to him start working hard at getting good with magic without your wand so that you can fix him up or do whatever he needs without him flinching away

So you start slow.

He can hold your hand, that’s easy for him

He slips his into yours most often—sitting beside him in the library, walking in the halls, in class when he’s stressed about a new topic, when you two are at hogsmeade when he has to face Voldemort and his parents in the Battle of Hogwarts

It becomes his favorite thing, your hands. They’re scarred with failed spells and calloused where you grip your wand, your nails could be painted or not, short or long, he didn’t care, he loved that your hands had never once acted in hatred or anger against him

When he was too stressed to talk about what was happening at home or with the war, he’d simply take your hand

You eventually let him doodle on your with a “stupid muggle pen” when he needs the distraction

And Draco’s not so afraid of your touch anymore

It’s a quiet night of studying when you reach out, the question in your eyes: can I touch?

He gives a small nod, anxiety gripping his chest and your gentle voice in his mind reminding him it’s okay

You raise your hands, showing him that they’re empty (save the drawing of flowers he had done earlier)

Slowly you reach out and place your fingertips to the lapel of his blazer, his collarbone underneath

He flinched, ready to be yanked or thrown, but it doesn’t come

Your hand slips under his jacket and he takes a shakey breath in. Your hand was now splayed out across his chest and shoulder

He closed his eyes, trying not to panic

Your hands slips away

“Thank you,”

It’s slow progress. Very slow. It takes weeks for you to ask him again—this time it’s after quidditch practice

Now both of your hands were rubbing the knots out of his shoulders and they felt heavenly wearing away the years of fears bit by bit

He leaned into your touch after practice from that night on. It took a few times, but he finally let you touch his bare skin it was just too hot to keep a shirt on and he craved your touch

Then there was a new feeling on the back of his neck— a soft kiss

It made him shudder, chills running through his skin at the pure adoration the gesture held

Laying under the stars one night at the Manor, you lean over him. He’s expecting you to kiss him—he never kissed you before, but now he wasn’t so scared to

But instead you press your lips to his collarbone, and another one to the hollow of his shoulder, then where his neck met his shoulder, anywhere you could get to, your lips pressed to his skin

He melted into the blanket, closing his eyes and forcing his breathing to be steady for another reason

These kisses become sacred to him.

He starts to adore your lips as he adores your hands. Never once had they shouted at him, or spoken an unkind degrading word. No, they brought a beautiful smile and intoxicating kisses now that he actually felt safe enough to kiss you

Whenever you’re afraid or he needs you, he pulls you into his grasp, your height perfect to press a kiss against his collarbone—a gentle reminder that there was more than hatred in the world and that not every touch was evil

He hated anyone else touching him still, and could never truly be rid of his reflex to recoil but you held a soft place in his mind

He could finally dance with you the “muggle” way where you’d just lay your head in his shoulder and he was so happy to just sway you around the kitchen in the middle of the night

Piggyback rides, swimming, riding on a broom together, hugs—things you had given back to him

Things he didn’t have since he was a small child before everything went to hell

.

Part 2

.

Tags: @un-limiteddd @geekysimmerthings @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @dolphincommander @bisexualbumblebeesstuff @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @littlethingsinmymindla @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @mccloudchloe @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @go-whovian-universe @darcypottah @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde​ @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy x reader #harry potter #hermione granger #slytherin #draco malfoy x #draco malfoy x y/n #draco deserved better #redeem slytherin #redeem draco malfoy #gryffindor #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #hogwarts #dumbledore #snape #minerva mcgonagall #lucius malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #lucius is an abusive father

[yodamn]

Heartbeat

Fox/Senator Reader

This is my first real fic ever posting to other people so heads up. I'm totally open for constructive criticism, I actually would love it! This is a little angsty so heads up on that. I'm attempting to write something less angsty and more actually like Tarzan on a Jungle like planet with the same premise!

You. Were. Pissed. You were marching your way down to Fox's office. How dare he. How dare he do that to you. You passed other senators, staff members, Corosaunt guard. Some tried to greet you or start conversation. Some saw the fury that was pouring like lava from your body and face and turned to avoid you. You ignored them all. You had a mission. You stormed down and in-front of Fox's office. You rapped on the door three times before letting yourself in. Thire was in there talking to Fox about something or other. Both red and white clad men turned to look at you. Your heart fluttered in anger. Thire clapped Fox on the shoulder and walked out. He stopped to whisper in your ear.

"I'm sorry, give him hell"

As soon as the door had closed you whipped a page of flimsi out of your pocket and began to read from it.

"My Beloved Senator,

I apologize that I have to do this but there is no other way. The relationship we have both been in has gone on for too long. You risk to much in being involved with me. I should not have let you do this, I care too much to let you ruin your career for a Clone Commander no less. I care for you more than anything else and this is why I have to do this. You have given me many wonderful memories and I will cherish them until my time is up. You haven't done anything wrong, you are one of the most kind and sincere people I've ever met. But you cant risk everything for me. I hope we can still be good friends and work professionally together.

Thank you for everything,

Commander Fox"

You stopped and stared at the man you came to love. He looked back at you, trying so hard to keep his mask intact but you knew him too well.

"You got my letter"

"Your letter? Yes. I got it. I received your stupid unbelievable letter you UGH" You fumed waving the flimsi around. Tears welled up in your eyes. And you crumpled the letter in your hands.

"I didn't want to hurt you, that's why I sent a letter"

"You didn't want to? Then why do this? Fox, what is this about and don't tell me its about my career. Because that's banthashit. Because whether you want to acknowledge it or not you are much more important than some cushy Senate job. I know you Fox. Better than most" You argued, "You don't get to do that. You don't get to just give up. This is a relationship. Which means all parties must be involved in big decisions. Had I done something wrong I would've understood but I haven't. This is almost out of nowhere! And you don't get to make that decision for me. You can't just push me away like that"

"Im not-" he stuttered trying to contain himself, "I-I can't. I"

"Fox, what's going on? You've gone downhill. I've noticed it, the guys have noticed it. You're pushing everyone away and its not okay. We want to help you" You reason softly, moving closer to him and grabbing his arms "I love you. More than anything in the entire Galaxy. You're not like any other man I've ever met, Fox I-"

"That's just it!" He yells. You flinch in surprise, and he winces at that. Fox groans.

"I'm not a person. Im not a man. I cant give you what you need. I cant even give you myself because I don't even own myself! Im a weapon. A organic machine who's job is to protect the Chancellor and nothing more. I don't mean anything and you deserve better than that" he looks up, "I was born in a test tube, my job is to die just like all my other vod. I don't get to live happily because I'm not a person, and you deserve someone who is" he cracked sadly. All he wants is the best for you. Why cant you see that? Whats that saying? If you love someone let them go?

You stare, surprised, hurt, angry.

"What makes someone a person?" You ask.

Fox took a deep breath and sat down on the chair at his desk, "Please, just, don't do this"

"No, what makes someone a person?" You push.

Fox groans and rests his head in his hands. This is why he didn't want to tell you himself. Because he knew you'd fight it. Granted he also should've known you would come down to fight him yourself. You aren't know as Spitfire for nothing.

"I don't know" he admits weakly.

You walk around to sit on his desk in front of him. Looping your feet thru the arm rest of the chair you pull him closer. Fox doesn't look up. Fingers dance on his shoulders and remove the top piece of his armor. You set it aside and gently grab one of his wrists and bring it to press his hand against his chest.

"What is that?" You ask.

Fox dips his head lower and mumbles.

A free hand slides under his chin to lift it. You see tears brimming in his eyes, he doesn't want to hurt you. He cares too much. The pad of your thumb gingerly wipes away a tear that broke free.

You ask again, so softly, talking to a broken man, "What is that?"

Fox's eyebrows furrow trying not to sob the corners of his mouth turn down, "My heartbeat"

You then carefully cup his jaw to bring his head to press onto your chest, "And what's that?"

Fox sucks in a shakey breath, "Your heartbeat"

You let go of his jaw and he still rests it on your chest. Both hands gently grab at one hand and oh so softly massage and play with it. Pulling off the glove you press your hand to his. Matching them together. Seeing how different and strong his hand is compared to yours.

"Fox" you trail one finger along his hairline, "Look at me"

He looks up and just barely meets your eyes. You again cup his chin and give his forehead a chaste kiss. Then turn his head to face your hands.

"We are the same. Same heart beat. Same soul. Same hands. Cant you see it?" you whisper into his temple.

"There is nothing that says you aren't worthy. You've fought and protected people. So have your brothers. You've committed the greatest sacrifice for people who don't see you for who you are" You explain gently, "You, above all, deserve to be happy, just be selfish for once, I'll help you"

Fox chokes in another shaky breath and lifts to rest his forehead on yours.

"Thank you. I love you" he whispers. You smile and lay a kiss on his cheek under his eye. Enveloping him in a hug. You clutch your hand in his and bring it between you and your other hand goes around his head to further pull him in. His other arm pulling you closer to the edge of the desk and balling up in your sweater.

"I love you too" You say, "But don't ever do that again, talk to me next time. Me and your vod are here to help you, but we can only do that if you talk to us" You breathe while stroking his hair.

"Im sorry" He whispers into your collar, "I will"

"Thank you, now sleep I can tell you haven't gotten much" you hum and rest your head upon his.

"But when you wake up we do need to talk about pushing people away, honesty and trust is vital in a relationship" you continue and pet Fox's head as he nods in agreement on your collar bone.

You quickly feel Fox snore quietly against your collar bone. For the rest of the time you hold each other and you formulate a plan to demand the Clones you've come to care for citizenship and respect from the government who created them.

@clonesandmoans @fulcrum-for-the-win @morganas-pendragons

#clone wars #star wars #commander fox #clone trooper x reader #writing #angsty #fluff? #clone commander #clone troopers #thire #commander thire