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#i cant live without you
drenmastr · 1 year
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I miss how he wanted me.
At the beginning I finally thought I found someone like me, someone who's love means obsession.
But even just after a few months exactly what I feared would happen happend.
I am now the only one stuck like this, I am now the only one who keeps posting about him, the only one checking all is social media frequently when I am on my pc, the only one who can't keep their mind off the other one.
I am so obsessed with him it eats me from the inside out. Even having a slight uncomfortable discussion with him makes my stomach turn making me feel like I have to throw up and my head feels dizzy. Ĭ̷̧̢̹̳̞̩͕̳͈ ̸̮̬̞͎̀̂̉̍͘̕C̸͍̜͍̈́̆͑̈́͗̈́̉͑̚A̶̲̜͓̠̰̬̾̅͗͑̽̂̅͒N̵̺̬̻̯͔̦͔̼̬̈͂̿̇͊̐̄̏͝T̴̟͈̑̐̀̄̚̕ ̴̨͇̜̱̾͗̅̈́̐̋̎͠͝H̶̢̨̢̬̤̣͙͙̏̔̅͒̕Ã̶̦̌͋̈́̒͝͠N̵͇̟̩̉͊̏͂͛́D̶̛̘̟͖͍L̴̢̙͎͇̳̖͔͈̫̤̎̇͆̾̈́̈́Ę̷̢̢̜̫̬̗̮͓͎̒ ̶̡̝̪̲̠̤̬̣̳̓̂̍͂̆́͑̎̚Ţ̶̧͎͙̱̫̈́̉́̍̔̿̈̚͝H̵̰̭̽̎͂̈́̍̎̉̚Ḙ̶̏̂̀̈̌̏̀ ̴̘̤̃͆́͛͗͆́̋͗͠Ţ̵̳̼̩͊͂͐̀̽͋̈̄̽Ḣ̸̲͙̺̜̌̀͝Ǫ̵̮̬̬̰̹͈̗̜̊̿̊͐̑̄̑̄͜͠Ư̷͎̩̣̣̹̞͇̥͕͔͌͒̏͌́͘͝G̴̡̜̜̲̞̗̈̃͋̎́̑͋͠H̸͎̗̗̗̅́̋̾̃͌̀͘T̷͓̹̮̤̱͚̪̊̏̅̋̽̉͜͝ ̵̨̯͓̘͍͈͋͌̓̔̾͒ͅÖ̵̮͔̱̩̭̫͓͖̆̐̇F̴̨̪̱̿̈́́̌̉͑́̈́̕ ̷̼͉̜͓̉̿̅̈̕͜ͅL̶̙͍̬̼̜͇͗͛̈́̐͐̓̓̕͝͝Ó̴̒̕��͈̼̈͜ͅƠ̷̫͑̔͋͑S̵̡͍͍͙̼̣̬̗̄̐̐̈́̅̐Ǐ̶̧̎͛̌̄̊̚Ń̸̡̻̹̩͙̺̲̻͕͊̈̎G̴̫͍̱͔̹̑̾̈́̿̓͝ ̶̻̽̒͠Ỳ̶͓͎̼̪͋̑̾͒Ṍ̵̙͖͉̮̱̜̊͐̆̾͘͝ͅͅƯ̵̳̘̫̄̈͗̑̊̕̚͝
Why doesn't he post about me anymore like he did a few months ago? Am I not interesting enough anymore? Have I gotten boring because he knows he can have me now? ? A̶͒͝M̸̡̺͎͕͝ ̷̢̜̙̹̍̀̚̕ͅI̶̧̛̩̠̩̮͋́̄̐ͅ ̸͙̙̪͐̽̈̃͘Ṫ̷͚̻̏́̌̽͑̾̃̿̕O̸̰͍̲̫̿̊̾͋̈́̆̕͘ͅO̵̧͉͛̓̋͗̌̋̒̕̚ ̷̞̲̥̯̈́͗́͌͗͌̅̎̚M̵̧̺͕̝̖̅͒́̉́̑̀̀͝͠Ư̴͚̻̼͇͚͈̙̝̤̮̔͒̂͑̄͆͂̍C̶̥͕̜̝̠̹̄̂H̵̡̩͊̆̏̎̇͜ ̶̗͆̂́͗̒̏̅́̌̓F̵̏́͌ͅǪ̵͇̰͕̻̼͓̃͒͒͗̆̔̈̀̏̏R̵̨͉̼͕̬̗̼̼͐̓̈́̿̃̌̈́͒̾ ̶̛̮͓͚̞̊͒̃̉̇̊̌̚Ŷ̵̜͖͎̜̿͛O̸̜̹̮̠͗͜U̴̠͍̲͔̣̓̍̋̂͝?̶̣̖̤̤̣̾͆̇̚ ̶̱̳̫͍̃̂͝͝͝Ț̸̗̫̩̬̬̄̆̍̓͐̈́͜ͅO̷̲͊Ọ̵̬̲͈͈͠ ̷̛̲̤͌͌̇̐͋̐̂͠I̷͎͊̔̏͐͘N̴̨̲̝͉̳͖͋͌̽͜T̶̡̛̪̟͔̼͕̖̀͂̉̎̊̑͝͝E̵͙͎̳͕̬͚̲͈͑Ņ̵̨̼̻̠̹͗͜S̸̭͍̰̫̬͚̱͎͛̿̈E̵̢̛̟̘̙̜͔̥̾̊̄̈́????He doesn't even like my posts here. He used to instantly like something as soon as I posted it. I think now he doesn't even see what I post here. Otherwise I probably wouldn't write this.
Now he hasn't liked anything in about a month or maby even longer.
When he says he loves me... What dose he mean?
At the beginning I felt so loved and now that I have fallen for him I just find myself constantly asking him if he still loves me...
He used to jokingly threaten me to kidnap me and put me somewhere only he can find me so I'll be with him forever and I am only his... I miss that... Was all that just show to make me fall for him because he knew how fucked my head is?
I think I am turning into the abandoned dog begging to be loved and taken care of again...
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yourofficialdarlingx · 9 months
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i feel so empty..
i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you
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gringadano · 21 days
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votemeforeverything · 8 months
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Me exiting out of the word document and opening safari every other second to make sure my baby is ok
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darkacademiboy · 1 year
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You don't understand.
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sp00kysk3lly · 1 year
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I wish I was special You're so fuckin' special
Creep - Radiohead
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ecospherea · 10 months
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I own my life for those volunteers that are working for ao3
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priyal-d123 · 2 months
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A Dead Poet's Cry
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I saw this girl the other day
And it felt like I had seen her before
As if I'd known her somewhere in some way
She smiled when she saw me
And I knew that's what she did for everyone
That was the thing about her,
She loved smiles; it reminded her of battles won
But there was something wrong
She knew I could see it too
So she wore that smile further
But just for a moment there, it faltered
And just for a moment then, I could see through
I saw it all in front of me then; laid bare
How far she'd loved and how bad shed lost
How much she'd had to suffer, when all she'd done was care
I felt broken then, as if I were the one who'd been betrayed
I felt hurt on her behalf
I couldn't understand who would do this to someone
Who didn't deserve to cry, but to laugh
I felt angered ar that someone
And I think I knew who
And I wanted to hold her, and tell her
'don't leave, I still love you'
Something told me that's what she wanted to hear too
Just once, not for me or anyone else, but for THAT person to care
To whisper, 'don't worry, I'm not going anywhere'
I reached out; to be that person for her, i tried
But the closer I got, the worse, for the loss, she cried
They say she wears her grief well
Or is it the other way around?
Cause that's what they'd taught her to do
To bear it all, and yet, not make a sound
She assured me; 'its fine' she said
Even though it was clearly not
My heart hurt to see her
Waiting for someone who'd succumbed her to this rot
And I wondered if that's what love was
I'd never believed in it; now I detested it even more so
Because it has killed her alive
And even still refused to let her let go
I pleaded her to forget; to somehow just live
But she just shook her head sadly
And I knew there was nothing left in her to give
I saw it slipping
Her facade giving away
And I saw what once was beautiful
Fading with people who didn't stay
What justice is this, I asked
I wondered why she so stubbornly held on
There came that smile again, full of pain and loss,
And something told me, she's never accept they're gone
Her eyes dimmed then
And her smile finally dropped
Tears rushed to fill her eyes to the brim
And my heart just stopped
And she stared back at me
The girl behind the glass
Her hope had been the end of her
Her innocence, her love, her smile, now gone
Lost somewhere in the blur
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breaddisgoodd · 1 year
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i don't want to kiss them
i don't want to date them
i do not have romantic feelings for them
but they are the most important person in my life and i don't even know why
i would literally do anything for u
I'm nothing without u
but i know u don't actually like me and the moment u can u will leave
and i don't know if i can live without u
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Even now, even still, I wake up with things I'd like to tell you. From the more insignificant detail about my day to how much my heart still aches for you. I have all these things inside me that I want you to know. All these words, all these feelings.
I wake up with them in my head everyday, but you're no longer around so what do I even say?
I wonder sometimes if you lie when you say you don't care. If you lie when you say you don't love me anymore. And it leaves me all the more confused. I don't know what to believe. The you I've spent months with... Or the you who I'm seeing now?
Which one was real? And which isn't? How do I even know...
I just miss you. And I wish you'd come back. I just miss my home.
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todostoast · 6 months
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lovegasm
ranting so hard rn i just wanna be his forever i dont want to be anything else or exist in this world except to be his and he can do whatever he wants to me and ill do whatever he tells me to do cuz i love him sm and i don’t wanna live for any other reason i j wanna be with him 24/7 all the time i wanna spend every second w him there’s no point in us being separated for more than 5 minutes theres literally no way i can live without him he’s literally everything about me and i just want to live life with him and theres no other person id rather be with i wanna feel his hand in mine forever and ever and i always wanna be by his side and no one else’s i love him sm ahgrhagrhaharhrah
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valeriannnn · 1 month
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weakest link
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matimatti · 1 year
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*Sqh voice* bro you are supposed to wear the other one, did you forget the abyss years or something
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gay-fordeath · 2 years
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.
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darkacademiboy · 1 year
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Wie lang kann ich mir eigentlich selbst noch etwas vormachen?
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